#dunno if i wanna or should lb this

[ceytal]

woman who is scared of horror thinks playing a horror game is a good idea

[rosesradio]

.

[chickensoup1025]

Onto Bubbler...

Before it starts I wanted to say I have beef with Nino in this episode cause he makes his best friend's birthday about his hurt feelings and it's annoying and he didn't even get him a present

It was actually pretty nice of Plagg to try to give him that present

We love Sabine on this blog

Did Nathalie not even try to get him something herself??? She practically raised him!

Y'all should throw a small party at school if a house one isn't gonna work

Marinette is beyond thoughtful for MAKING him a gift.

EVEN CHLOE DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY???

Are you seriously telling me Paris's Teen Sweetheart didn't have a fan club that is celebrating his birthday at all? He's not getting letters in the mail? Or fans coming up to him at school? Or MORE people telling his dad to throw a party/throwing one for him??? This episode is just. Idk man.

Marinette has been a called a push over in the last two episodes (and this is the SECOND EPISODE) so it's amazing to see how far she's come!!!!

ADRIEN HAD A PHOTOSHOOT SCHEDULED ON HIS BIRTHDAY? THATS SO UGHHHHHHHHHH AND DURING HIS LUNCH BREAK TOO

Bro. Nino says he's gonna go to Adrien's house and Marinette and Alya are in the background. Cut to only Marinette and Alya at Adrien's house. Did Nino get lost????

Alya can you please tell Adrien later that it was from Marinette?

NATHALIE YOU SNAKE

Wild how Gabriel really did come out to talk to Nino. Ohhhh he wanted to make Nino an akuma. Gotcha.

DONT SIT ALONE AND BE UPSET NINO. THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU. BE WITH ADRIEN. HE WAS JUST TOLD ON HIS BIRTHDAY THAT HIS BEST FRIEND COULDNT EVER COME AROUND HIS HOUSE AND YOURE JUST GONNA WALK AWAY??? GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER AT LEAST????? Speaking of, that photoshoot was super quick? And why was he dropped off at his house? No way lunch break is that fast???? Go to school??????

Ugly ass akuma

Gabriel seriously made an akuma who specifically hates and is mad at him 🤦🏽‍♀️

What even counts as an "adult" here? 18+ or like out of university or like old enough to have kids or-

I'm a Nathalie hater I dunno yall I can't believe her this episode.

Just a weird ass akuma

This being his first party makes me wanna cry.

NINO IF YOU TURN ON A SLOW DANCE BECAUSE CHLOE ASKED YOU TO THEN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ADRIEN. HE WAS VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE EARLIER THAT DAY WHEN SHE WAS UP ON HIM OH MY GOD.

NO ITS THE ADRIENETTE SLOW DANCE SONG NO NO NO

I think Ladybug should be allowed to use her power selfishly like this more often.

Did no one hear when Ladybug said "yours truly"??? It was pretty loud

No one knows how old ladybug and chat noir even are so people might be imagining they're also just stuck in bubbles lol. Oh god, if Adrien and Marinette were adults then they wouldn't be able to transform like that out in the open and THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A GOOD PLAN TO TRAP THEM OR FIND OUT THEIR IDENTITIES HAWKMOTH JESUS. What you have to do is: Bubbler brings all the bubbles together so you can see them all in one spot. Have Bubbler WATCH, not just throw a party. If someone inside transforms then great! You know who they are. But if LB and or CN show up anyway then you know they're not an adult and that whittles down your search BY A LOT.

Girl is pretty brave for writing "Love, Marinette"

Nathaniel has some Shuichi energy hm

Cool moves...

"But adults keep children, safe, and protected. They care for their kids, they love them!" "Most adults do, anyhow." JESUS CHRIST WAY TO GO STRAIGHT FOR THR HEART

Him throwing his staff for her to swing her yo-yo around was completely unnecessary-

You can really see how the stakes change between the beginning and end of the show. "Oh I'm stuck in a bubble for awhile and just have to wait an hour at most to go back to my normal day" to "oh the world is ending"

Adrien is such a good boy...

One day- NO ONE HOUR of no adults and suddenly every thing everyone is trying to mail will be late for another week. Huh

Marinette didn't take the credit 🥺

"You're amazing Marinette, someone Adrien will see that too." Cut to not even a full season later Adrien leaning back in Marinette's desk chair, "You're amazing, Marinette."

SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A LEGIT BIRTHDAY OR SO HELP ME

[miraculouscontent]

Anonymous asked:

Trailer for the episode Evolution just dropped. How much you wanna bet Bunnix blames Marinette like she does in Chat Blanc?

Dunno, we’ll flip a coin on it (I’m kidding of course, she’ll get blamed regardless; she technically already has since it’s “””all her fault””” that the miraculouses are gone).

maxwaspace asked:

So Adrien "Can't be trusted with a houseplant" Agreste gets the rabbit miraculous in season five.

The miraculous that should only be given to people who can use the power of time travel responsibly.

Don't need burrow to know that whatever happens will be blamed on Marinette.

Chat: *so much as touches the rabbit miraculous*

me: *horrible flashbacks to “Timetagger” and the Cataclysm’d rabbit miraculous that adult!Chat broke*

Anonymous asked:

When I saw that clip with the Kwamis all huddled in a corner as the fashion disaster was making his big speech over the ridiculous silver platter given to him. I felt this weird sense of joy over the fact that the miracle box kwami were shaking in fear, it really showed how they all can behave around some rude ass grown man then act like damn kids around the kindest human they've ever had. Also if doesn't end with one of the them telling LB who Monarch is that's just gonna be disappointing.

Oh wow, I can’t wait for the moment where they realize that they’d been taking advantage of Marinette and wished that they would’ve treated her better when they had the chance!

...I wish I wasn’t being sarcastic.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[twsty-lav]

To all Yuus. What do you guys think is going on in NRC? Do you think it suspicious that only people who resemble the closest the Great Seven get overblotted? For example, Azul and Ursula, Jamil and Jafar, Leona and Scar. Do you think Crowley has something to do with it?

New info! on Magirl! Yuu

- Also known as Yukio Hasegawa. Hair turned pink after coming to TWST, much to their consternation. If only they had realized what it meant earlier...

- Cure-toku-sei to the rescue! Whee... 

- The ‘cutest’ Yuu. They do not like this in the slightest. Very strong, but only when transformed.

- Current biggest problem: “I feel like my skirt is getting shorter every time I transform... That’s just my imagination, right? Right?”

.

"Can we come out? Can we come out? I wanna be requested more!” 

“Be quiet, Yustine, Yulia is reading.”

“I should’ve walked into Leona again, Jesus Christ--” 

“...??? Haha, what.”

“Uh, guys... Guys... Guys? Oh, boy.”

“Everyone,” Yulia coughs, “It’s our first group ask, so we should be on our best behavior. We’ll answer this in order, understood?” 

“Yes ma’am,” four voices chorus obediently, figures straightening up. One of the shorter heads swivel back and forth in confusion, before sighing and copying the others.

“Alright, you first.” 

1. Quinn Yu (LB!Yuu)

“Oh yeah, it’s super weird, isn’t it?” Quinn nods, ticking off their fingers, “Honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be Vil, Idia, and then Malleus next. Kalim seems like the only outlier, since he was based off of... I don’t actually know who he was based off of?” They frown. “I never really watched Disney movies, sorry.”

“As for Mr. Crowley... I mean... I don’t know? Is he supposed to be suspicious? He doesn’t seem like a bad guy, other than never giving me a paycheck.” A grumble, “But he’s basically paying for my tuition, so I guess I can’t really complain. I just wish he’d let me sleep in... But I like him, personally. He could’ve just kicked me out, right? I don’t really know enough about him, either. So yeah.” 

“Psst... Yuuya, what’d they say?” 

“How the hell should I know? Go bug someone else, damnit.”

“Jeez, somebody’s grumpy...” 

2. Yustine Gibson (Protag!Yuu)

“Huh? Headmaster? A bad guy? No way!” Yustine shakes their head furiously, bouncing up and down in protest, “He’s nice, isn’t he? He said so himself, and that would make him a liar! He seems like a cool dude... Even if he is a little irresponsible, or somethin’. Are you sure you’re not watching too many conspiracy videos? If anything, I’d be more scared of Mr. Trein... His cat doesn’t like me, either...” :(

(Yukio sighs. “That’s because you nearly strangled him when you got too excited...”)

They stick out a tongue childishly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! Anyways, about the overblots... I think...”

A dramatic pause.

“I never actually noticed! So... I have no idea, yep!” 

3. Yuuya Hibiki (NoRES!Yuu)

"Ugh... Look, I don’t even care anymore. Crowley hasn’t chucked me off a building yet, so you know what? That’s more than what Ruggie can say, right? So he’s literally whatever in my book. If he is behind the Overblots, though... UuuuUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--” Yuuya groans. 

...

...

They’re still going.

...

“...GHHH--Jesus Christ, give me a fuckin’ break, man. Am I really gonna have to deal with Tsunotarou? I can feel the fucking sparks comin’ off of him from twenty feet away.” Yuuya whines, “Just let the earth consume me already, damnit.” 

4. Yulia (Mama!Yuu)

“Unfortunately,” she tilts her head, “I do not actually know what you mean. Are those that overblot similar to the Great Seven, somehow? In disposition, perhaps? I will look into this matter on my own, later.”

“As for Mr. Crowley...” Yulia smiles. “Well, I can’t say that I’ve ever liked him very much, not with that mask of his. But I will reserve my judgement, for now. If he does turn out to be at the head of some scheme, then... I simply will do that which is necessary.”

Quinn shivers. “... Scary...” 

5. Yuel (Yancheck! Yuu)

Yuel blinks lazily, rolling over to look at you with a shrug. “Uh, the overblots? I mean, I guess. I thought it was more of a curse, or something... Maybe it’s like, the forbidden snack of house positions. I dunno. I never felt like Crowley had anythin’ directly to do with it, though. From what I could tell, everybody was gonna snap sooner or later. It’s a dysfunction junction all up in there.” 

“Honestly though... Even if he was behind it all, what’m I gonna do about it? ‘S no use worrying about that, don’tcha think?” They wave off the concern with a relaxed shake of their hand. “I’ll just deal with it my own way, yup. ‘Sides, it’s not like the OB’s did any real harm... Except maybe to his own bank account. Have you seen the structural damage? Looked like a pain...” 

(“Not like the OB’s did any real harm? Oh, I’ll show you real harm, asshat--”

“Yuuya, no.”)

6. Yukio Hasegawa (Magirl! Yuu)

Yukio winces, fiddling with their hair. “Um... Am I allowed to speak bad about Mr. Headmaster? It feels kind of wrong. But yeah, I agree! It’s a little suspicious, isn’t it?” They whisper, glancing over their shoulder as if Crowley would pop up behind them, “Like.. Aren’t Overblots supposed to be a rare thing? And everyone lines up so perfectly with the ‘Great Seven,’ or whatever! It’s like the Disney gods meant for it to happen! I don’t like it.” “And what am I gonna do if Leona gets mad at me?! He’s been getting really grumpy about the skirt thing, lately!” They shiver, “It’s not like I wanna be doing this, either! Ah, I want the pens to summon Ace and Deuce more... Maybe I should handcuff them to me... Ugh...” 

Extra: Gail

He blinks. “There’s been more overblots? I thought it was just Riddle.”

Pomefiore Student A facepalms.

[meme-loving-stuck]

tips from a broke artist

I know there's dozens posts like this but I'm just thinkin about stuff i wish i knew when i started so

Paper:

Depends on what media you're using! Sketch paper is fine for dry media like charcoal/chalk/pencil/pen.

If you do washes or heavy ink or watercolor, get mixed-media or watercolor paper

Alcohol-based markers will usually bleed if you use them on sketch paper or watercolor paper, try looking for smooth/untextured marker paper if you wanna avoid that

If you need watercolor board, buy a sketchbook full of it! This always always a good deal, and you can usually find paper thick enough to even use gouache and acrylics on

If you're using thick/mixed media paper, usually one side is more textured and one isn't. Took me a while to figure that out lol.

Theres a difference between hot press paper and cold press. I think cold press tends to have a smoother texture, it could make a world of a difference depending on your feelings about texture!

The weight of the paper tells you how thick it is, which tells you how well it will hold its shape when wet/painted on! I try to get at LEAST 120 lb. for my own watercolor paintings, its thick enough for guoache and thinner acrylics too!

If you have REALLY heavy paper that still buckles/doesnt hold its shape when painted on, try taping it down! It's tedious but it makes it a lot easier in the long run

Some people even do a plain water-wash on the back of the paper, and then blow dry it flat, that also helps with buckling. Just make sure you do this BEFORE you paint the other side and let it fully dry fully flat

Ink:

Copics! Do yourself a favor and don't worry about buying name brand! There are plenty of smaller online brands selling them in bulk instead of 2-3 USD per marker

If you are buying name brand, like prismacolor or windsor newton, make sure you at least get the refill cartridges. **But seriously if youre not doing like, huge poster sized stuff youre probably not gonna need to buy name brand or worry about refills!

Cheap waterbased markers like crayola are great for thinning down with water for ink washes! A lot of times you get brighter colors than actual watercolor paint

India ink, like acrylic paint, can be diluted with water for washes AND are both waterproof when dry! This is why india ink is great for inking watercolor pieces with

Canvas:

you absolutely dont need big expensive glossy canvases if youre using acrylics. there are a TON of dollar stores that sell like, four canvases for a dollar, in varying sizes. look around and see what kind of deals you can get, dont get suckered out of like $5 for one 8*10 canvas

If youre using watercolors on canvas you might want to gesso it first, you might not. gesso just helps it hold the paint more like paper would and dry faster! canvas is definitely more expensive than watercolor board though

everyone says you NEED to start out with the biggest canvases possible so you get used to it: don't! if you have problems with starting projects a huge empty space is hard to approach. Its better to have a bunch of smaller pieces DONE than just never starting a big one bc youre intimidated!

that being said, dont limit yourself to just one size either! do mini pieces, square pieces, round pieces, hexagons whatever!! feel free to experiment with the shape of the space you fill go crazy aaa go stupid

Brushes:

If youre not using your brushes for inking, probably any type of brushes will work, like canvas you can find packs of varied size brushes for a good price

If you ARE using them for inking, you might want to spring for any type of natural-fiber brushes. Natural fibers just tend to hold ink better, which makes for longer lines so you dont have to break them/dip as often

If you use brush pens, like any other type of markers, they dont work as well on textured paper and might bleed

If you use water brush pens, those are great for watercolors but if you use them to water down acrylic paint youll have to clean them more often as acrylic paint dries waterproof and is more difficult to wash out

If you do full wet-on-wet washes, id recommend getting a small house paintbrush, its clunky but much easier to wet the entire paper with

uhh i dunno should i add more to this with brands/links and stuff? lmk

[smashins]

24h into my 110h 165h fast

1 coffee with milk, 1 tea, 3 sugar free gums ~ 40 cal

30 min abs workout

Can't say I'm proud bc I hate myself way more for having gained so much weight and having to starve now instead of enjoying a skinny summer like last year

But I'm determined to continue this way and hopefully lose 15kg before september

I'm scared bc I know this "diet" of <50cal/day isn't sustainable and may end in a huge binge but I'm either starving or bingeing all day sooo 🤷‍♀️ and upset cos I wanna see results tomorrow and dunno if I can be this strict with my diet all summer

And I'm isolating a lot from friends/family, and I'm really anxious about food again

I'm spiralling and relapsing really hard but I wanna lose weight more than ever

48h into my 110h 165h fast

1 tea, 2 glasses of 0cal lemonade, 2 cinnamon candies, 1 gum ~ 15 cal

12 minutes weigh loss pilates

I feel really tired and sluggish, I nearly didn't move from my couch today. I'm depressed and also angry at myself bc I didn't work out very much.

When I see posts saying some people are exercising to the point of fainting I'm ashamed bc I never exercise that much. I don't have willpower. I want a toned and skinny body but I'm not pushing myself hard enough. I feel like a failure and a lazy fatass.

72h into my 110h 165h fast

2 glasses of 0cal lemonade, 2 teas, 2 gums, 1/2 stock cube ~ 30 cals

Walked 2h30, 14000 steps

Wasn't a bad day, finally went outside, i went to the botanical garden bc I love plants and they sooth me 🌱

I also put on my jeans (size 6) and they were looser than usual ! This is the motivation I need to keep fasting and restricting! Hopefully I'll be able to lose those 15kg for september if I keep going on and fast more

Can't wait to wear my size 0 clothes again

96h into my 110h 165h fast

1 black coffee, 1 glass of 0cal lemonade, 2 gums ~ 10cals

1h stretching yoga

Good day, wasn't even hungry! I tried to do a 12min intense abs workout but had to stop at 5min bc I had back pain. So I switched for a back pain relief yoga

I'm satisfied that I acknowledged my pain, didn't push too hard on my body, instead I listened to it and tried to help it.

But I'm also disappointed in myself bc I didn't push me "hard enough" which makes me feel like I'm not making efforts to lose (even if i'm currently in a 5 days fast lmaoo)

120h ino my 165h fast

1 coffee, 1 glass of 0cal lemonade, 1 gum ~ 5 cals

35 min of Chloe Ting workouts

I weighed myself this morning and had a breakdown. I thought after 4 days of fasting I would've lost some weight but no i'm 58kg which is my hw and I wanna kms.

So I did harder workout and I'm prolonging my fast. Apparently if I exercise 5x/week and eat 300 cals/day, I should lose 15kg by september.

I'm going to fast a few times more, maybe 3x 5 days so I'll be eating less than 300cals on the average.

144h into my 165h fast

1 coffee, 2 glasses of 0cal lemonade, 1 gum ~ 5 cals

30min back pain workout, 25min of Chloe Ting Body & Abs workout

I've lost 0.5kg (1.1 lb) since yesterday sooo good I guess? I'm not bloated anymore and I can slightly see some abs when I raise my arms :)

I'm barely hungry, I don't wanna eat anymore (I watch mukbangs and supersize vs superskinny instead to stop my urges to eat lmao)

It also makes me anxious bc i'm scared that when I'll start eating again, I'll gain even if it's <200 cals I dunno

[anieswrld]

tw- strong vent

hi sugar bun, please consider your mental health before reading about mine, please, i dont want you getting hurt <3 please make sure you are mentally stable enough to red this!

i wanna be completely honest i fucking hate this diet and ‘m losing my appetite again but i get so hungry sometimes that i jus’ wanna binge and i have to physically walk myself away from my kitchen and lock myself in my bathroom and hopefully i jus’ get over it sometimes i cant even walk to my kitchen because i know i will absolutely fuckking binge on whatever i see, but its jus hard because i’ve been trying to lose weight for so long and i’ve had ed’s i’ve been on multiple diets and nothing works, i’ve been to nutritionists i’ve had a personal trainer and i’ve never been under 200 lbs and i fucking hate it, i’m so insecure of my tummy and thighs and arms. i’ve been trying to lose weight since i was 10 and it fucking sucks that i’ve never really gotten comfortable in my body due to my parents pressuring me to lose weight or people telling me mean things. i jus fucking hate it, its tiring, i’ve even noticd i’m more tired even with my meds, and i dunno i do have a cheat say but i jus’ feel guilty

sorry for ranting in your askbox

okay, diets are very weird, they don’t work the same way for everyone yk? and if you have to avoid the kitchen because you don’t wanna eat i don’t think you should be dieting :/ our body runs on food love, and i know how it is being the bigger girl and it sucks but if your losing appetite and you’ve had eds before i don’t think you should be dieting because diets are glamorized eating disorders, and the fact that your parents are pressuring you to lose weight isn’t good either, please just know that you’re amazing the way you are, don’t harm your body please 🥺

[noblechaton]

Downpour

i’m not even really sure what this is besides ladrien trash lol. i guess i was just drabbling and it spun out of control so now i dunno what i wrote so uh, i’m just gonna toss it into the void lmao

AO3

---------------------------

“I knew it was supposed to rain-” Adrien quickly popped open his umbrella and hung it over Ladybug’s head. “But I didn’t think it was gonna get this bad. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, you don’t control the weather. As far as I know, anyway.” Ladybug chuckled, admiring the way rain dripped against her hand. “Besides, I...kinda like it.”

“It is pretty nice.” Adrien wrapped an arm around her waist. “I’ve always liked the way the river looks when it rains. It’s really...comforting.”

“Yeah.” Ladybug warmly smiled, glancing briefly out at the Seine and then up at him.

Her arm hooked around his and held him tight, more enamored by the way his face seemed to glow despite the dark, night sky and the darker storm clouds hanging above them.

Adrien kept his eyes on her, too, his heart started to feel lighter in his chest the longer he matched her loving gaze.

“I’m still glad we came out tonight. Even with the rain.”

“Me too.”

For a silent moment, the two considered staying where they were for the rest of the night. Warmly sharing each other’s company, and body heat, while cold rain dripped and splashed around them.

Such affectionate thoughts, however, were brought to an end with a loud crack of thunder.

“Er.” Adrien shook his head some. “We should...probably start heading back, soon. I don’t think either of us can really afford to catch a cold.”

“I don’t know.” A dim reflection of a lightning strike shined in Ladybug’s eyes. “It’d be fun, just taking care of each other for a few days.”

“You don’t have to get sick for me to do that.” Adrien warmly snickered. “Just gotta ask.”

“Okay.” Ladybug cuddled up to his side. “How about we make some chicken noodle soup when we get back, then? Y’know, just in case we do get sick.”

“Sounds good to me.” Adrien slipped his arm from her body and took her hand in his. “So long as you’re ready for the best chicken noodle soup you’ll ever have.”

“We’ll see about that.” Ladybug tightly held on to him while they started their walk back to his house.

-------------------------------------------------

“Jeez.” Adrien quickly shut the door behind him. “I didn’t think it’d get worse.”

“Guess I’m spending the night, huh?” Ladybug gave a wide smile.

“Guess you are.” Adrien happily agreed with a hug and tried to lay on the charm. “It’s always an honor to have you in my bed.”

“Phrasing, Agreste.” Ladybug snickered. “Unless we’re saving that soup for later.”

“Yeah, no, we, um, we’re still...” Adrien resigned to the crimson red on his face. “We’ll get that going once we get warm.”

“There you go.” Ladybug snuggled up close.

They stood at the entryway for a few minutes, simply holding one another and smiling through their embrace, gradually rubbing and squeezing on each other as a means to try and raise the temperature. Try as they might, however, the rainwater didn’t seem like it wanted to dry off.

“Um, actually,” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, knowing in advance just how bad what he was going to say was going to sound. “You should...probably get out of that suit.”

“My, Adrien, how bold of you.” Ladybug teased. “Was this your plan all along?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like,” Adrien stammered. “You’re just...wet. Not in that way, I don’t think, I mean, I’m wet, too, but-”

“I know what you meant.” Ladybug shushed his flustered nerves with a light giggle. “I just wanted to see you blush a little more.”

“Of course you did.” Adrien took a soft, relieved breath. “So, um, do you want any clothes to change into?”

“It’s probably better than walking around in wet underwear. From the rain, they’d be wet from the rain, since my suit got soaked and they might be wet, but...” Ladybug intentionally trailed her thought off.

“Phrasing,” Adrien couldn’t help but smirk. “Bugaboo.”

“Let’s just...get to your room before it gets any worse, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

---------------------------------------

“So,” Adrien rummaged through his closet. “Anything in particular you wanna wear? I’ve got all sorts of stuff in here. Haven’t cleaned it out in ages.”

“Got any really big shirts?” Ladybug leaned around him to better look at her options. “Like, an extra extra large t-shirt or something.”

“Hm…” Adrien tossed a few garments out until he seemed to stumble across something that fit her description. “How about this?”

He swiftly pulled a pink tinted shirt off the rack and held it up for her to see, though his eyes went a bit wide once he realized what was printed on the front of the shirt.

“I heart LB.” Ladybug read it aloud with a grin, snickering at the way the heart was colored red with black polka dots. “Isn’t that a tourist shirt?”

“Yeah, I, um…I just really liked the design.” He blushed. “And this was the last one they had in stock, so.”

“I bet it looks cute on you.” She cupped the side of his face and took the hanger from him.

“Not as cute as it’ll look on you.” Adrien smiled. “Er, um, right, pants. You’ll need pants.”

“Any sweatpants in there?” Ladybug asked after he ducked back into the closet.

“Uh…” Adrien thumbed through a few different racks. “I think they might be in the wash.”

“A closet that big,” Ladybug scoffed. “And you don’t have any sweatpants?”

“Hey, it’s been really hot out.” Adrien double checked a few hangers. “They probably got put somewhere else. Or in storage.”

“Alright, well” Ladybug held her chin. “What else do you got?”

“Hm, a bunch of the same pair of jeans, some really beat up basketball shorts-”

“Why do you have so many of the same jeans, anyway?”

“They’re part of an outfit. The outfit. Speaking of, you should see how many of the same shirt I have in here.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Anyway, uh, looks like the only other things are-” He stuck his head out with a notable tinge of red on his cheeks. “Some...boxers.”

“Oh.”

“Freshly washed,” Adrien held up two pairs with a nervous smile, one black with a dark green trim and the other white with a brighter green trim. “If that helps.”

“Uh.” Ladybug had a slight blush of her own at the mere sight of his underwear. “The, um, the black pair seems a little more poofy, so I’ll take those.”

“Alright.” Adrien handed them over and shut the closet door. “You should be all set.”

“Wait.” Ladybug somewhat anxiously bit at the corner of her lower lip. “I know this is gonna sound silly, but...do you have any masks?”

“Actually,” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck and scrunched his face some. “There’s this costume party thing coming up, and...”

“And?”

“And...maybe I’m going in a Ladybug costume.”

“Again?” Ladybug giggled. “Haven’t you gone as me for most of these types of parties now? I know you’ve been doing it for the last like, five years, at least.”

“It’s a good look.” Adrien smirked.

“That’s fair.” Ladybug agreed. “You do look really good in red.”

“Exactly.” Adrien stepped towards the bathroom door with some replacement clothes of his own. “Just, gimme a sec to go grab the mask and change, I’ll be right back with the mask.”

“Take your time.” Ladybug smiled, snickering at him waving before he disappeared into his bedroom.

With a soft, loving sigh, she turned around and laid out the clothing they’d picked out on the counter. It wasn’t quite an outfit, or at least, not a very good one, but it was so very Adrien that she wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d worn such a combination in his spare time. The slightly worn nature of the shirt told her that much.

“Alright. Tikki,” She exhaled. “Spots off.”

A warm, pink glow illuminated the room for just an instant.

“Aw, don’t give me that look.” Marinette plead innocence to her Kwami. “It was...storming, like, really badly.”

“I understand,” Tikki gave her a caring, yet mildly concerned look. “But you’re making a habit out of this, Marinette.”

“I know.” Marinette’s head dipped down. “I just…”

Her sentence wasn’t allowed time to finish, as the sounds of footsteps rapidly approaching interrupted her thought.

“Hide!” She whispered and watched the Kwami zip around the shower wall in the nick of time.

There was a moment before he came back that she thought about greeting him like this, with no suit, mask, or any clothes at all, really. Sure, revealing herself to him in her underwear probably wasn’t the best way it could go, but the temptation was there. What better way to reveal your secret identity, right?

Whatever deliberations she had, though, faded away with the sound of the door creaking a little further open.

“I think you’re really gonna like this mask, it’s...” Adrien fell silent after taking little more than a step back into the room, awestruck at the sight of her back.

“Oh, er-” He realized he was staring by the time his eyes reached the straps around her shoulders and quickly covered his eyes. “Sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t see anything! I should have knocked!”

“It,” Ladybug let out a contemplative breath and dipped her head forward, throwing away the brief thought of letting him see her as she was. “It’s okay, just...give me a minute.”

“Yeah, yeah, um,” Adrien blindly tried to hand her the mask. “Here. It should, uh, fit you pretty well. One size fits all and all that.”

“Thank you.” Ladybug cooed, wrapping the string around her head and adjusting the mask. “You can open your eyes, by the way.”

“Are you sure, you’re down to your underwear. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, but,” Adrien took a breath to keep whatever composure he still had. “Just. Okay.”

Slowly, he pried his fingers away from his face and was greeted by the exact sight he’d expected. Knowing what was coming, what was standing in front of him, however, didn’t stop him from blushing wildly.

“Wow.” Adrien picked his jaw up off the floor and shook his head, tying his best not to stare at her undergarments. 

“Back at you.” Ladybug smirked, seeing that he was wearing little more than a fluffy white bathrobe. “I always did love that thing.”

“Yeah,” Adrien smiled back. “That might be why I grabbed it.”

“Anyway, I, uh,” He inched forward and dipped his head to hers. “I guess I should give you the room and go get that soup started, huh?”

“Yeah,” Ladybug gently grabbed at his robe and briefly slipped into a kiss, the scent and taste of rain strong on her lips. “I guess you should.”

“Don’t take too long.” Adrien teased.

“Mhm.” Ladybug warmly sighed through her nose. “I’ll be right out.”

[mydearestreaderfanfics]

Fondness at the Fair (Lance x Reader)

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 2,188

Prompt/Request: Fourth day of the October Special: State Fair.

Summary: Lance asks you out on a date to the state fair. Cute date events ensue. 100% pure unfiltered fluff.

Author: Mod Alex

Lance had burst into your apartment one afternoon, waving two slips of paper in his hand. He had pulled you close in a side hug before peppering your face in kisses. You giggled, trying to catch his lips with your own. “Lance, mi corazón, what’s got you so happy?” “Well, mi vida, you’ll never guess what I’ve got.” “What did you get?” He held up the hand with the slips of paper in it. Two tickets to the state fair. He grinned at you, melting your heart just as much as he did when he asked you out on your first date years ago. “So?” “That sounds great! Thank you so much.” You finally managed to press a kiss to his lips, smiling all the while.

That’s what led you to where you were now: the ticket booth to the fair. Lance was swinging you around in a little dance while you waited, making your heart soar (and making the lady behind you roll her eyes). “Lance, baby, we gotta stop dancing.” He pouted. “But why?” “Because we have to give them our tickets.” His mouth formed an ‘o’ and he let go of you long enough to give the ticket taker your tickets before pulling you through the gates.”Where to first, mi amor?” “Hmm, can we go to the petting zoo?” The words were barely out of your mouth when Lance wrapped his arm around your waist and began walking.

After getting temporarily lost (in hindsight you really should’ve grabbed a map) you found yourselves in a barn-shaped building. “Oh my goodness, look! It’s a baby pig!” You shook Lance by his shoulders, pausing long enough to point towards a tiny baby pig that was running about in the corner with his siblings. Nobody seemed to have noticed them yet meaning you got to hog the baby hogs. You kneeled down next to them, scooping the one the that had caught your eye up into your arms, cooing as he oinked. “Who’s the cutest little piggy, you are!” The other piglets had taken a liking to Lance, they’d taken to trying to climb into his lap. “Aww, they like you.” You snapped a picture of him, making note to post it later when you weren’t distracted by cute baby animals. After the piglets, you and Lance made your way to alpacas, ponies, goats, and sheep. Several of the animals had started following him, making you laugh. “Hehe, I think you have company.” “Wha-?” He turned only to come face to face with the alpaca. He hopped backward making you double over in laughter. “Hey, don’t laugh.” He walked over to you and the alpaca obediently followed, successfully causing you to laugh even harder. “Sorry, sorry. You just looked so startled.” He gave you a pouty look and you waved your hands apologetically. “It’s not my fault you looked cute. But maybe we have pet enough animals for now.” The alpaca tried to follow after, bothered that it couldn’t reach Lance. At least until some kid started petting it, effectively distracting it. A sign on the wall on the way out showed a picture of prize cows and the giant pumpkin weigh in. Lance looked at it curiously. “Sweetheart?" “Yes, honey?” He turned to you, stars in his eyes. “Can we go?” “Anything you want.” “Really? Yay!" He took your hand, intertwining your fingers and gently swinging your hands as you walked toward the contest winner’s displays.

You two had briefly looked at the cows, but you were both curious to see the giant pumpkin so you didn't stay too long. On the way to the giant pumpkin you saw the prize-winning flowers. “Hey, Lancey, if I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.” “Sunflowers are yellow, dahlias are pink, my love, you are my missing link.” You blushed, kissing his cheek. “Aww, that was really sweet.” “It’s true, you know.” Best boyfriend ever, truly. “I love you.” “I love you too.” The flower arrangements soon gave way to produce. “We're almost to the pumpkin, come on.” It was glorious. It was the size of a small car and, according to the sign, weighed 1,388 lbs. “Do you wanna take a picture with it?” “You bet your fine ass I do.” Lance laughed, taking out his phone. You both posed in front of the pumpkin, faux shocked looks on your faces. Your stomach rumbled as you were taking a regular picture. “Huh? Guess I’m hungry.” He checked the time. “Me too, we’ve been here for a while.” “We passed some food trucks on the way here, some of them looked really good.” “Then lead the way.”

After a ridiculously long line, you and Lance sat down at a picnic table you’d been lucky enough to find unoccupied. “So what do you wanna do after this?” “Um, well there’s the carnival over there, but it’ll light up later, so maybe we should wait till then…” “We could play some games?” “Yeah-” “Come one, come all! The great Hira requests your presence! Do you want to win a rose for your sweetheart? Or perhaps you just love the thrill of winning a race? Either way, come join us in Tent C in ten minutes for a barrel of laughs and fun!” The promoter for the show continued on their way. “(Y/N), mi cielo, can we go?” You grinned at him. “Oh, I dunno.” “Don’t you wanna see me win you a rose?” He winked at you and you waved him off playfully. “Who says you’ll win?” “You don’t think I'll win?” “Oh, I don’t know, baby, we don’t even know what the race is.” You were barely containing your smile, teasing him was just too much fun. “I’ll prove it to you. I promise you’ll be leaving this fair with a rose.” “I guess we can go,” you giggled, “but I want to finish eating first.”

You grabbed a bag of cinnamon almonds before heading to Tent C. “Hello all! I am Hira and this is my show! I will need three volunteers from the audience.” Lance stood up along with a handful of other people. “Ah, this crowd is so enthusiastic, how wonderful!” She clapped her hands together. “My assistants will go out into the crowd and choose three of you.” The assistants wound through the crowds, stopping in front of standing attendees, one of which was Lance. His grin was brighter than any of the sunflowers you had seen earlier. The assistant led the three volunteers to the front where they stood on stage in front of Hira. “Fantastic! Now, my dear volunteers, you will be competing against each other to win your beloved a rose.” She explained how they were going to be going through an obstacle course. You and the other significant others cheered for your respective volunteer as they spun in circles, hula-hooped across the stage, riffled through a ball pit to find large foam puzzle pieces, hula-hooped back across the stage, and assemble the puzzle heart. Lance had started off in last, having gotten dizzy, but having hips to rival Shakira’s, he took the lead during hula-hooping. The race evened out at the ball pit. “Come on, mi corazón! You’ve got this!” Lance looked up at you briefly to blow you a kiss before resuming his search with renewed vigor. He and one of the other competitors had found all of their pieces. It was neck and neck, all they had to do was assemble the puzzle. You were on the edge of your seat. “It looks like we have a winner! What’s your name?” “Lance.” Hira held up his hand. “Lance is our winner! Good job to all of our competitors!” She handed him a rose and he took it, jogging back over to you. The crowd watched with admiration in their eyes. “Here you go, sweetheart. Just as promised.” You took the rose, smiling at it before setting it down and smooshing his face between your hands, pulling him into a kiss. “You are the sweetest. I am so lucky to have you.” “I’m the lucky one.” The crowd gave whistles and “awww’s”. “You all were a great audience, thank you all for coming! If you’d like to tip, I’ll have the assistants at each door. Thank you again!”

It was starting to get darker, but you still had a couple of minutes before the rides turned on their lights. “Hey, it’s a balloon pop. I used to be pretty good at those.” “Look there's a blue stuffed shark.” He pointed at the large prize. A look of determination settled on your face. “I’m gonna win that for you.” “But you have to pop three balloons with a green circle behind it.” “Easy peasy.” He laughed. “If you say so.” You paid for five darts. The first one popped a balloon in the corner. “Green.” “Yes! Only two more.” The next dart resulted in an orange circle. The one after that hit an empty space. You sighed. C’mon, was it too much to ask that you could win your boyfriend a comically large plush toy of his favorite animal? You carefully aimed at another corner balloon. Pop! “Green.” One more. You threw the final dart and it hit a balloon in the bottom center. It was green! No way! “You can get three small prizes, one medium and one small, or one big.” “The big blue shark, please.” You hopped on the pads of your feet, excitement radiating from you. As soon as the shark was given to you, you shoved it at Lance. “For you~!” He grinned, pulling you into a hug, smooshing the shark between you two. “Thank you.” “Anything for you, honey.”

You played a few more games that were nowhere near as successful as the balloon pop. They were still loads of fun, though. The sun had finally gone down and the carnival lights had finally turned on. “Where to first, baby?” “That looks fun.” You pointed to the tilt-a-whirl ride. “Sounds good.” On the ride, you and Lance spun the wheel in the middle as fast as you possibly could. The momentum caused you to slam into Lance who then put a protective arm around your shoulder. “My hero.” He kept the wheel going with one hand, effectively keeping you close to him by keeping the cart spinning, not that you minded. After stumbling out of the ride, Lance pulled you over to the Haunted House. It was cheesy and the scares weren’t all that scary, but the excuse to snuggle up to Lance was still nice. Your dizziness had since passed and you both decided to get on the carousel. A slow paced ride was nice and it gave you both a chance to talk and decide where you wanted to go next. “The fair is gonna close soon, with the lines we probably will only have time for one more ride.” “How about the Ferris wheel?” The height of it made you a bit nervous, but it did sound like the perfect ending of the perfect day. “That’s a great idea.” The line moved as slow as you had expected, but you were up soon enough. You and Lance climbed into the small cart, sitting close like you had several times throughout the night. “Thank you for this. It’s been a lot of fun.” “I’m glad you’ve had fun. I thought it would be a little different from our usual dates. And to be honest, this ride is kinda the reason I wanted to bring you here.” “Oh?” “Yeah, I thought it would be the perfect spot.” “The perfect spot for what?” You were almost at the top, but funnily enough, you didn’t feel nervous at all. Lance stood up. “Honey, what are you doing?” The Ferris wheel stopped at the very top, just as Lance got on one knee. “(Y/N) (L/N), you are the light of my life. I knew you were the one since the day we met. You’ve made me a better person and I can’t imagine my life without you. I love your eyes, the way you laugh, the way you dance in the kitchen when you’re making breakfast, how you smile when you see a dog. I love everything about you. You are my world, mi vida. Would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” You could barely see Lance through your tears. You shook your head, yes, not caring whether or not you looked super eager, because you absolutely were. “Yes, oh my god, yes!” You wiped at your tears, holding out your hand so he could slip the ring on. Once he stood up, you lunged at him, smothering him in kisses and “I love you’s”. “I love you so much, oh my god.” Your eyes darted between the ring on your finger and your now fiancee. “I love you too. I love you so much.” You kissed him again, smiling all the while. Yeah, definitely the perfect day.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #176

rape tw

Do you like to have croutons in your salad? Noooonononono. It's a texture thing. Which do you find more irritating - sunburn or bug bites? Sunburn. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like... 116? How many contacts do you have in your phone? 16. Do you carry any means of protection on you while out in public? No, but I wanna get pepper spray. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I'm too paranoid of strangers. Do you know anyone who does cocaine? Not to my knowledge. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I used to be a super in-shape 117 lb. queen that even then felt slightly fat. :') What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? One has a serious temper, the other's... well I dunno. I don't see my older sis enough. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Something you would NEVER buy? Uhhh the first thing that came to my head are snakes that aren't directly from breeders. Both snakes I bought from PetSmart were sick, so. No thanks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No, deal breaker for me. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes, Nicole. Do you think your first love still loves you? No, but the feeling's mutual so np. Are you a money saver or spender? I've never had a consistent source of income, but when I do get some from gifts or photography, I've actually proven to be great at saving it for whatever my target is. Hopefully I stay that way when I do have a job. Has a member of the opposite sex ever seen you naked? Yes. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yup. If you have any piercings, who did them? Claire's did my earlobes, then various people from Garry's Skin Grafix and mostly New Addiction did my piercings. Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailer? No. Have you ever been pulled over, but just let off with a warning? Never been pulled. Have you ever taken shots? (of alcohol) Noooo, been offered to take part I think twice, but it's not something I think I ever want to do considering I loathe the taste of alcohol, hence why I only ever drink fruity things with tiny amounts of alcohol. Do you like mash-up songs? Occasionally, I guess? None even come to mind. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? No, because I have a plethora of my own and don't want to put a child under the supervision of someone with conditions like mine; as well, I'm sorry, but I need to take care of myself. Took me damn long enough to get here, and I'm not going back to how horrible my life was before out of stress and having to handle a child with a severe mental illness. And oh, did I mention the main reason is because I don't in any capacity want kids? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. Do you listen to classical music? Not intentionally. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? No. I'll admit I like someone if they ask, but otherwise I just don't see it necessary to walk up to your guardian and just randomly inform them that you have a crush. Are you due for a haircut? Getting there, maybe almost two months from now. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? My OCD's been exceptionally bad lately. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Both like certain artists that I do - a lot, really. I do know I also like heavier stuff than them, though. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? Don't live in one. Name one of your psycho exes? None. I was honestly the psycho ex. I was very rightfully broken, but I shouldn't have done many things I did. Why were they a psycho ex? ^ I wouldn't leave him the hell alone and would pester him on Facebook too much even when I was ignored and, most regrettably, make just enough time to blame him for my ER visits before leaving until he finally blocked me. I sincerely don't blame him if he does consider me "the psycho ex." What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't care in the slightest about revenge to even think up a situation where I got any. I've never deliberately fished for it. What screen name did you use in 6th grade? FlowerOurQueen ew. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? ih crihmus What’s the last movie you saw? Halloween. Who was the last person to call you? This fucking car insurance agency that calls like every goddamn day. I've answered a couple times thinking that it could be VR and promptly hung up upon finding it wasn't. By now, I recognize the three digits after the area code to just ignore them. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? VR. Where is your least favorite place to be? Hospitals. Where is your favorite place to be? Sara's house. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? lol no, grow up, 0-19-y/o me denying your own sexuality in fear of a "loving" god sending you to Hell. :^) Would you like to learn to play the drums? Nah. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Types of people. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Motivation to live, again. Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Always with close friends. Have there ever been floods where you live? Oh yeah. Do you listen to K-Pop? No. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Ummm idr, but not very long ago. Sunshower. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV anymore, so I don't know any current ones. But it will probably /always/ be the sexy Mr. Clean one because memories fuck me up. Have you ever tried writing a song? Yes. For one of the Nintendogs tracks. I even moved their heads around to the tune of the song. kms What is your favorite type of juice? Peach/mango. Whose birthday did you last celebrate? My nephew's. When you were a kid, did you have a treehouse? No. We didn't have trees built for that, just very tall pine trees. What was the best school year in your opinion? 7th grade; ironically, the year my depression began to seriously manifest. Do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? Sadly. When was the last time you flew on a plane? This past October. Take me back. Do you eat meat every day? No. Who taught you how to ride a bike? Dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. How do you cook your rice? Steam, boil, other? I don't cook. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Nope. Some of his policies I side with, but his personality absolutely destroys him for me. Do you wear skirts? No. I absolutely hate my legs. What color is your house? Like this khaki sorta color. How many first cousins do you have? I have zero clue. I don't even think I've met some first ones. Off the very top of my head, I know there's at least... nine? Have you ever seen a pop star in concert? No. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, not a fan of most. It doesn't put me in the "Christmas spirit" anyway. Where would you like to vacation to? The Bahamas baby, Sweden, Japan... What time do you set your alarm to? I don't use mine. Nothing to use it for. Do you like ginger ale? No, unless my stomach is upset. What time does the sun set at the time of year where you live? Like 5, and I hate it. Have you ever been skiing? No. When was the last time you moved house? Feb. of last year. What did you last feel nervous about? How in god's name am I blanking here??????????? Over something incredibly trivial, I'm sure. Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn’t say in real life? No. Who is the last person to text you? Sara. Does the person you like know it? HAHA she's got a pretty good idea. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the hospital after hearing about my OD, so my mental state was obviously shit, but Jason saw me in more obvious, externally-expressed emotional breakdowns. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I've been waking up much too early lately. What was the last movie you saw that you really liked? Really liked? Probs Jumanji. Do your best friends live near you? Ha, no. Do you have any stuffed animals saved from when you were a child? A LOT. When is the next time you are traveling outside of the state, province, or country? Where to? I'm sure sometime next year to Sara's. What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with just my mom and pets. It's fine, though I wish I was emotionally prepared to move out. Hell, and obviously financially. Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? N- oh yeah yes, in the Jenna situation. Though I don't truly recall what *kind* of feelings exactly I had. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? No, surprisingly. How was your first kiss? Super cute. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No; that's a deal-breaker for me. I am not being a mother figure to any child, especially when it's not my own. Have you kissed someone 4 or more years older than you? No. Were your parents married when you were born? Yeah. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No. Do you live within 20 miles of where you were born? Yeah. What is your opinions on Valentine's Day? Cheesetastic, is it not? No no no no no I LOVE it!!!! I can't stand that "ugh every day you should appreciate love" shit 'cuz like, why not have a day specifically wrapped around it? Is it hurting anyone in any way shape or form?? What is the last thing you wrote? (typing is not writing, btw) My signature, probably? Do you have an outfit that you consider your "seduction outfit"? lul no. What is the last fruit you have eaten? Uhhh good question. I'm only just back on solids. What was the last injection you received? Was it sore? At the dentist when I had to get a cavity filled. They had to give me no less than 6-7 shots in the same spot to numb me properly, so yeah, it was sore. Have you ever been badly bitten by an animal? No. Favorite sandwich? I'll never turn down a ham, cheese, and mustard one. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, manipulative, lack of compassion, anger, two-faced, entirely insensitive, rudeness, raunchiness, the inability to accept one is sometimes wrong and that that's okay, BEING A DRAMA NEST HINT HINT, and I could go on... Where would you retire to? The mountains. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st. Supposed to be your greatest celebration, yet I was in the mental hospital. It still means the goddamn world to me how my peers and employees tried to make it special. What did you want to be when you were little? First an archaeologist, then a vet. I think I only changed my mind upon realizing the original would've been extremely difficult. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. I'm actually not a big fan of the latter, it's too dry and tough. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I don't know, I didn't take Spanish. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have zero clue. Do you like coconut flavored things? nooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I really don't like coconuts. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't believe so? I know many who've been violated or molested, but I don't believe I know a rape victim. How often do you get a fever? Like never. What makes you lose your appetite? Unappetizing scenes or smells and feeling/being sick. Are there any childhood habits you are grateful for or regret? I was taught good manners, for one. I wish chores had been more enforced upon all of us. At what age did you start to wear makeup? Did your mom object at first? I think 9th grade was when I "officially" started? It was freshman year and I had that "it's a new start and you're (this old) now, at least try to look pretty for once" mentality with how my self esteem was on the decline. I did it every day for a long time, until one day I didn't put on anything because I was tired of it and my art classmates (I was close to them) literally asked if I was okay lmao. From then on out, it was sporadic; eyeliner, shadow, and mascara some days, other days, nothing. But anyway no, Mom didn't have a problem. I think I recall her worrying about how it was all black, but she in no way objected. Would you consider yourself an adventurous person? This reeaally depends on the situation. I can't say which I lean more towards... maybe no? Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? No. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? I dunno. One thing you really want to learn? Digital art. What is your favorite piece of art you own? I don't own any other than my own work. The most expensive bill I paid last month was ____? N/A What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? @ the Silent Hill wiki, I wasn't understanding why a certain member was giving particular information that appeared irrelevant to me, but he got me to understand. I am extreeemely nit-picky over there, having been active there since '12, and now being a staff member, I'm even more specific. What is the largest TV screen in your house? We only have one, in the living room, but it's been the biggest. What has challenged your morals? Wondering if I was bi in middle school, frustration when I was trying to be abstinent in a serious relationship, pirating (which I still know is wrong asjfawouow), mutually being a flirt with my then-best friend's boyfriend, considering abortion at a much more open-minded angle, the justification of eating meat, my experience in life in relation to religion... Those are the ones that stand out. Who was the last female you hung out with? Mom. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No. Do you want to get married? Yes. Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? A bit. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? The latter. I'm not paying for superfluous space and spending a gross amount of unnecessary time cleaning. Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I did, but stopped for a few reasons. Do you have any tattoos at the moment? Yeah and NOWHERE NEAR DONE. What about piercings? ^ Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? Natural. What color is your bedroom door? White. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No, give them back to me. Have you ever been to a rave? No. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? Two? Do you think you’re the best thing that’s happened to someone? No. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? No. Do you have a protective father? No. What’s the biggest misconception about you, personally? Uhhh probably that I don't try hard enough, specifically with work, adulthood, socializing, etc. when I'm sincerely doing my best. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? No. Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? No. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Family" by Mother Mother. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? That'd hurt like hell; he's like a bro to me and is the last close friend I have here. I don't know what I'd say. If someone you wanted before came back now, would you take them? Nope. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Sara and Girt. Jason and Juan. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? Good question. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? Cheese, mustard, ketcup, pickles, a little bit of minced onion. Idk which I prefer. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Economics. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? N/A What is your highest level of education? Some college. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid? Idr. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? Traffic. I'm afraid of elevators. The last thing you remember dreaming about: Everyone I loved left me, so I tried to suffocate myself. Why do I only recall nightmares, ugh. The last place you went: The parlor to get a new bar for my tongue ring. The last alcoholic drink you consumed: A margarita. The last time you felt insulted/offended: I'm unsure. But I feel it was recently? The last time you kissed someone: October 17th weeps. The last time you held a baby: Months ago when Colleen needed me to hold Keegan. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Vegetarianism. The last video game you played: I finally got a new disc of Shadow of the Colossus!!!!! :'D I'm replaying it and doing both Time Attack modes to get Agro's white coat. The last television show you watched: Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. Are you afraid of shots? No, I just anticipate it being unpleasant. How many times have you donated blood? Once. Would you date someone 15 years older than you? No. What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? An awful stomach virus. I wouldn't stop vomiting. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? I couldn't tell ya. Something in high school. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? I hate it. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I personally think Outlast is overall the scariest game made thus far, but one I can't play because of the intense jumpscares is SCP Containment Breach. What about your life concerns you the most? Future financial position. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? Ummm Severin. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? Certain clothing and makeup brands, like half the shit doesn't even look that great. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? At least six. Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Definitely the former. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Do you trust your gut instinct? I try to, but don't always. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. What are some things that initially attract you to the preferred sex? CHARISMA, kindness, concern for others, a love of animals, and being a gamer oops. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? The breakup and eventual suicide attempt are definitely the saddest. The happiest, easily the last day of Holly Hill when everyone was telling me goodbye and I felt like I was ready to really live again. When was the last time someone scared you? Sara had me worried something was wrong involving me, but it wasn't. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Silent Hill 3 is so fucking weird but also one of the best horror games ever. Name something that you saw within the past week that made you smile: Probably Teddy being cute. Name something within the past week that made you frown: I don't think I have physically frowned this week. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: My mom. Name something that you hope is different by this time next year: My social anxiety has improved. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: Um I have no clue. Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Drawing anthro characters. Name something that you strongly believe in: Gay rights. Do you like pudding? Chocolate pudding. Do you tend to use a lot of big words? No, it's unnecessary. Just talk so people can understand you and not wonder what five words you said mean. Do you fall for guys/girls easily? NOPE. When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? Annoyed. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips. Flat soda doesn't bother me very much. What’s one show that you wish was still on the air? Deadman Wonderland. Have you ever used a port-a-potty? Omg yeah I know I have at sports practice or games as a kid. I absolutely never would again. What was the last stinky thing you smelled? Teddy's pee; he wet his diaper, and we know he has some kind of infection with how rancid it is sometimes, but we don't even bother anymore because it's recurring. What’s your favorite outdoor activity? Photographing nature.

[skinniplease]

Dear Ana

I went over my cals again today but only by 3. I had a little more steak than I originally planned. My tummy has been upset all day, that senna tea most definitely did it’s job😂 Today I weighed in at the same as yesterday which is pretty disappointing considering I was losing a 1/2 lb a day steadily. Hopefully I can make up for it with work for the next 4 days. I feel fine eating only 600 cals a day. They’re spaced out from 1 pm until 10pm. (I don’t go to bed until about 2am.) I wonder if I should restrict more. If I haven’t lost at least another 2lbs by Monday I’ll probably drop my DCL to 500. I wonder if the whole switching up my cal intake every few days really does help with my metabolism? I guess even if it doesn’t it would still help with weight loss. Maybe I should start doing 300 cal days and 600 cal days 2x a week? I dunno. I wanna lose this weight quick but I also have to still have the energy to go to work and cook and feed and clean all of my animal’s cages. There’s too many people relying on me. If it weren’t for them, I’d be fasting Monday-Wednesday while I’m off work. Fingers crossed I wake up a little lighter in the morning, but I doubt it. Ugh this sucks.

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.19 lb

doot doot doot who the heck needs to lb the whole 4 hours let’s jus skip 1 of them

anywho what a cute couplea nerds, flirtin by the fire,,

“with all due respect, she is smarter than that.” “caleb, as always, is right.” hi i love them & their mutual defense of each other (i also love how juxtaposed they are right here, w/caleb’s direct Don’t Be Awful To My Friend approach & nott’s I Will Talk Up My Friend Eternally & U Will Love Him approach so nicely contrasted & complementary & all that jazz)

“yeah, she doesn’t want to hurt her baby caleb!!” [liam makes a weird confused face] lmao

“no, i like children a great deal” “.......in your belly?” “NO NOT IN MY BELLY. you’re borderline offensive!” jeez fjord why u like this (also wow nott is bein real chill abt this w/the “borderline” bit here)

o hell yeah my dude, fakeout

o poor jester

holy shit yasha what the fuc k

“do i hate myself? no, i’m cool. i just.......i mean, she had wings, so you wanna talk about that instead?” nott, my buddy, my pal, are u like. okay?

“i just haven’t really felt comfortable in my skin for as long as i can remember. i just feel like i shouldn’t be--i don’t fit in with them” n ott

this is like. bordering on some, like. hmmmm

“it’s not just that. this feels wrong, like i should be in a different body” mmmmm

“it’s not that i don’t like myself, i think i’m okay. but i just don’t like how i feel when i see my hands or my feet. they just feel wrong. i want to be different.” mmmMMMM yea okay this is rly blatantly. a kind of dysphoria

& i already lowkey hc’d nott as trans so i can’t help drawing the Very Obvious Parallels there and. mm. unsure what think, depends on backstory possibly

“they tried me on so many different jobs” oh nott

torturer’s assistant, huh

“so u were nott a torturer, huh?” “no” jester u goddamn fuck

oh okay wow so that was a lot of backstory

i dunno how i feel about all this “every goblin but nott is evil” stuff we’re getting

“and you don’t seem to care how i look or who i was.” “i do not care. i know who you are now. if you don’t want to go back there, we don’t have to go back there. but if you actually do, don’t be afraid to ask. i will go with you.” what goodgood friends i love the m

still don’t like all this “every goblin but nott is evil” stuff. still not a fan

“you told me it was cherry wine” caleb u heck (can’t decide if i like this as friendly teasing, friendly reminding, or autistic Must Correct. ‘m hereby deciding the answer is All Three)

“if you see a goblin, you should kill it on sight” nott, no

“maybe you were just in a really shitty tribe” yeah, thank you, i’m glad someone finally actually said those words

aaaand ofc she disagrees. nott, my dude,,

“if you ever want to talk more about it, the door is always open for you, nott. when you are ready” o gosh

[alwaysthinner]

Wow not only was I absolutely unaffected by the spoiled food but also I had to eat chocolate offered by my coworkers. Dunno if I'm impressed or terrified by the former, unbelievable

Most likely surpassed the 1800 limit yesterday though but no giving up, I'll be more careful today. And I KNOW 1800 sounds ridiculous for an ed blog but believe me, I know my body, I know how I lost 40 kg/88 lbs in a year. This slow descending, spiral-down thing is the only thing that will work now that I gained around 12 kg/26 lbs in a few months. Low-restricting is a dangerous game that you should be careful playing, and I wanna preserve my low calorie dues for lower weights; after I return to 58 (my lowest weight) for example.

I completely did away with intermittent fasting btw, it did help me lose tons of weight in the past year but now that I'm studying (and double majoring while taking the maximum amount of courses that can be taken at my uni) and working part-time, it simply doesn't work for me.

I'll eat whenever I need to. The only rule is to stay under my calorie limit AND to not eat after 6 pm, though I'll try to make it 4. I most likely will stop having dinner after late February, when the pill thing is over

[cynicismandtwee]

Ok, so this is the beginning of MY big fat diary. Since gaining weight from steroid use, anxiety and depression, the above photo has been my motto. But today, I decided to change it. So this is going to be my brutally honest diary of progress of my weight loss. Because I will lose it. So.. I’ll begin by sharing my weight. Yes. You read that right. I am a woman and I will tell you what I weigh. Why not? I’m not embarrassed by it... partially because I know I must lose weight and partially because I wonder why is a stigma. I weigh 20 stone 3.6 lbs. and I don’t know what that is in kg or just lbs. convert it yourself if you’re interested. I am 5’8”. I’ve always “carried” weight quite well. I’m an hourglass shape naturally when I’m not so round. I have an enormous ass that men love and I hate trying to squeeze into bottoms. But I do love my ass really. I don’t have classic body dysmorphia because i am really fat.. but it’s taken till now to realise how fat I’ve gotten. It was after I saw a photo of myself and realised that the mirror in my hallway is slightly concave and has been REALLY working wonders for my confidence as I stroll around looking like the Michelin man in leggings. Sometimes I wanna punch people in the face when they say they’re fat and they’re not. People should say “they’re fat for themselves” rather than fat. Being fat is the morbid obesity I have. I’m finishing this here for now because day one actually started ok. I was good. You’ll learn more about me each time I post if you wanna follow it. If no one reads it, it’ll just be a monologue for me to reflect on when I have lost enough weight to be healthy. Maybe that will be in five years. Maybe a year or two. I dunno. I’ve got fuck loads to lose and hopefully enough motivation to get me through. Wish me luck!