#eat our dinner in front of the tv watching reruns or if nothing good is on we could pop in a movie we rented

[1980ssunflower]

I miss & need them both so badly...

[ffakc]

The Weather Outside is Frightful - a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fanfiction

@negans-attagirl @jdmbbycakes @iluvneganandjamie

“For Rhinebeck, we’re looking at up to five inches per hour! Make sure you’ve got your milk and bread, folks, it’s going to be a doozy!” the weather man proclaimed. My husband changes the channel to our favorite trashy reality TV channel.

“I’d like to get five inches per hour,” I mutter for myself with a smirk and snuggle up under a fuzzy blanket.

“What did you just say?” Jeff laughs.

“Oh, nothing,” I sigh. Jeff is still giggling to himself. My silver fox leans over and growls in my ear.

“If you wanted to have sex, all you had to do was say so,” he kisses my neck with an obnoxious “MWAH!” sound.

“You’re so damn cute,” I try my best to climb onto my husband’s lap.

“How are you so hot even in your jammies, baby girl?” I grab his cheeks and kiss him.

“I don’t feel very hot,” I gesture to my VERY pregnant belly. Jeffrey scoffs.

“Nonsense! You’re carrying OUR child, that’s the most badass thing a lady can do!” he kisses my lips sweetly as he rubs the taut skin, “I love my girls.”

“We love you too, Daddy,” I smile and rock my hips against Jeff’s thigh. I moan with delight.

“Think about it this way, you’re rearranging your organs to bring a life into this world! How cool is that?”

“Jeff, that’s gross,” I laugh.

“I guess you’re right,” he chuckles. “So, what do my gals want for dinner, hm?”

“If I had my way, Pizza Hut stuffed crust. I’ve been craving that for a good week now. But I’m not about to make a delivery driver trek through this,” I climb off my man’s lap and rub his knee.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got a massive four wheel drive. Do you want pizza? I’ll get you pizza,” Jeff smiles, standing up off the couch.

“Yes please, Daddy. You’re so sweet.” I pull up the website on my phone, “What do you want?” I run my fingers over my stomach, which is now growling.

“You know I’m not picky,” Jeff grabs his keys and uses his remote start to warm his beast of a truck.

“Extra red onions, black olives, and sausage then,” I reply, Jeff hands me his card and kisses my forehead. “Ooh, and maybe a syrupy sweet fountain Pepsi?”

“You better be suckin’ on a breath mint then before you get near these lips! Also, Pepsi? Really? Oh, you better be fuckin’ messing with me.” I rest my sore feet on the ottoman and nod as Jeff pets my hair. “Fine, whatever. I’ll get you horse piss.” I laugh. That man is hopelessly addicted to his Coca Cola. “Anything else while I’m out?”

“Maybe a pregnancy test? I’ve been feeling weird lately,” I joke.

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying,” Jeff rolls his eyes with a grin and pulls on his flannel jacket, placing an unlit cigarette between his lips.

“Drive safe! I love you,” I blow him a kiss.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

***

“That’s your Daddy,” I trace my fingers over my belly, watching a rerun of Grey’s Anatomy that happened to be on. “He’s already wrapped around your little finger and he hasn’t even seen you in person yet,” I giggle. “We are so excited to meet you, baby girl.”

“Dinner is served, darlin’!” Jeff calls out and sets the pizza on the counter. I sit myself up a little straighter. Little flutters ripple across my abdomen.

“Jeff! Babe, come here!” I gesture to my stomach.

“Watching Daddy, hm? Wow, I miss my dark hair,” Jeff laughs and gets to his knees on the floor in front of the couch. I place his hand on my stomach and gently press my hand on top of his.

“Do you feel that? As soon as she heard your voice, she started moving.” Jeff gasps as a wide smile crosses his lips.

“I’m so in love with her already,” he kisses the little lumps where I assume a hand or a foot poked through. “That’s my daughter, my fucking daughter. It’s still so surreal to say. I’ve wanted a little girl for God knows how long,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “I’ve loved you since the moment Mama said she was pregnant with you. Don’t you break your daddy’s heart, sweet pea.”

“I can’t imagine bringing a child into this world with anyone else,” I reply and kiss my husband deeply. “Alright, I suppose I should get up!” I grab Jeff’s outstretched hand and he pulls me off the couch. I place my pizza on a paper plate. Jeff looks me up and down.

“Look how fucking cute you are, doll. Daddy loves giving his gal what she wants,” my husband remarks and kisses my cheek. I sink my teeth into the greasy pizza and moan with delight. “Is it everything you hoped it would be?”

“God, yes. The grease makes my soul happy,” I laugh. Jeff sits on the barstool at the kitchen counter.

“So, umm, yeah,” my husband clears his throat. “Usually I couldn’t give two shits what people say on social media, but...” Jeff heaves a heavy sigh. “I was scrolling through Twitter while waiting for pizza and I saw a few comments here and there about how I’m too old for this,” he places a hand on my stomach.

“That’s stupid,” I roll my eyes.

“They say I’m too old for you too,” he grabs his phone and adjusts his bifcocals, “‘Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s going to be 72 when that kid graduates and his sugar baby’s going to be 42. You ever think about how weird that is? Ew. Poor kid.’ I keep telling myself it do-“ a single tear falls down his face as he places his phone back on the counter.

“It doesn’t matter, Jeffrey,” I cup his cheek my hand and kiss him. “Aww, baby, come here,” I hold his head against my chest. “You already cherish this baby with every ounce of love you have and that’s literally all our girl could ask for, is a Mommy and Daddy who want nothing more than to love her with all their hearts. Age is but a number, sweetheart. My dad was older when he had us kids and it didn’t affect his parenting one single bit. Also, calling me a sugar baby when anyone who follows me on any social media platform knows I never shut the fuck up about how much I love my husband.” Jeff laughs to himself. “I’d have to be in REALLY deep with the sugar baby thing if I let my sugar daddy put a living, breathing child inside me.”

“Yeah, you are absolutely right,” Jeff sniffles and kisses me. “They can call me ‘old’ all the live long day, but coming for my incredible wife and unborn child? I don’t take too kindly to that. That hurts. I swear, I think your pregnancy hormones are affecting me too,” he teases and flicks his tears away.

“I don’t blame you! That shit is rude and uncalled for!” I exclaim and take a bite of pizza. “Sorry, I got distracted,” I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “What can I say? I’m eating for two.”

“You are indeed,” Jeff smiles, he murmurs something to himself and gives my backside a squeeze. He nibbles his pizza.

“What’s that, Daddy?” I look up at him with innocent eyes and take a long sip of my drink.

“I said, ‘that ass’,” You’ve gotten so curvy, baby. Pregnancy looks real good on you. Who gave you the right to be so damn sexy?” I wiggle my hips as wetness pools between my thighs. “You’re lucky I don’t just shove this pizza off the counter and fuck you right here.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I smirk. I pull down my top slightly, revealing my overgrown and engorged breasts.

“Baby doll,” Jeff whines. I run my fingers over the zipper of his jeans, earning a moan from my gorgeous older man. He places one veiny, strong hand on my hip and the other in my hair as he kisses me deeply. His hand travels to my belly as his breath shudders against my lips.

“I love these new curves,” Jeff groans. “Why does this big, round pregnant belly turn me on so much?”

“Because you know it means you bred me so good?” I suggest, squeezing my breasts together. “Making my tits bigger, making my hips wider.”

“God yes. What can I do to make my gal feel good tonight?”

“Well, I’ve had another craving that isn’t pizza,” I trail my fingers down his chest, “A hot, steamy shower with my hands in your hair and your mouth on my needy, wet pussy. Oh Daddy, I need you.”

“Oh my,” Jeff clicks his tongue, his face flushing slightly, “You know how much I love devouring that sweet pussy. I could do that all day, every day if you’d let me.”

“I’d let you!” I pipe up, and Jeff laughs, dunking his crust in pizza sauce. “Just don’t put any pepper flakes on your pizza,” I wink and Jeff laughs even harder.

“Good lord, you really think I’d do that to you?”

“I don’t know, maybe! Now, let’s finish dinner, dessert is waiting for you,” I rub my husband’s shoulders and he lets out a satisfied groan. I throw my plate in the trash, “I’ll meet you in the shower,” I whisper against his ear. Jeff shoves the rest of his food in his mouth and chases after me. I crank the shower up as hot as it can go, Jeff grabs me by the waist from behind and rubs against me as he kisses my neck. I can feel how hard he is in his fitted jeans. I slip out of my clothes and my husband does the same, his cock throbbing as he slides out of his underwear.

“Look at what you do to me,” Jeff gestures downward.

“Oops,” I step under the water. I brush two fingers over my clit and whimper, then offer them to Jeff. He sucks them seductively. “Look what you do to ME.”

“Fuck girl, you taste so sweet,” his hands rest on my pregnant belly as I wrap my arms around his neck as we kiss.

“I need to sit down,” I remark and bite my lip. I sit back on the shower bench.

“That’s my good girl. You sit back and relax, pull my hair, and let Daddy enjoy himself. Don’t you move a muscle, let me do all the work, sweetheart,” Jeff ghosts his hot breath against me, smirking up at me. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He lets out a low growl of pleasure.

“You tease,” I whine, “Please Daddy, please. I need it, Jeffrey.” Jeff buries his face in what’s his. The water falls softly against his tanned skin.

“You taste so damn GOOD, girl,” Jeff rasps. A little bit of Negan slipped out with that statement. He breathes heavily as his mouth overtakes my most sensitive parts. His fingers curl inside me. My whole body jerks.

“Jeff! Oh my god!” I gasp. My silver fox groans loudly.

“Oh Princess, I want to make you scream. I want you to make an absolute fucking mess on my face,” he spreads my legs as far as my exhausted body can go and circles my throbbing clit with his ever-flickering tongue. God, what a talented tongue my gorgeous husband has.

“Jeffrey! Jeffrey, oh fuck! I’m so close, baby. Please, baby. Please, I need you so damn bad,” I plead, grasping onto his graying locks. He sucks gently as if I’m his favorite lollipop and smirks up at me. “FUCK!” I cry out, “JEFF! OH MY FUCKING GOD!” I can’t hold back, profanity and filthy, wet mouth sounds fill the air. My orgasm hits me like a powerful earthquake, a tidal wave of pure ecstasy. As if a surge of lightning coursed through my entire body. Jeff pants, planting soft kisses on my inner thighs. I stroke his hair as he kisses me passionately, my legs still trembling.

“Was is it as good for you as it was for me?” Jeff smiles.

“Oh god, better than I could have ever imagined, Daddy. I love you so damn much,” I breathe heavily.

“I love you more than anything. You make me the luckiest, Mrs. Morgan.”

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love -Part 7

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

A/N - This is kind of a filler Chapter....

"Hey babe?... didnt you hear me?" Chris asked suddenly appearing in my bedroom doorway, i put my phone on the bed as i quickly wiped my eyes and walked over to my bathroom.

"Sorry, must have spaced"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine"

"So why are you crying?"

"Pregnancy hormones i guess" i mumbled as i splashed my face with water.

"Nothing to do with this shit on Twitter then?" He asked as i was patting my face dry, i looked up to see him standing there holding up my phone that still had the Twitter page up, i shrugged reaching for the phone but he held it out of my reach.

"Nope, no more of this. You dont need to be reading this shit, look at how upset you are!"

"Their right though, you could do so much better!"

"Please dont start saying that, there is no one better for me. You are it for me, your gonna be the mother of my kid" he said pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.

"Maybe we should just delete all social media accounts, i dont want to be seeing these comments either"

"That will just anger your fans even more, don't worry i'll be okay" i reached up and pressed my lips to his, my hands slipping under his tshirt and stroking his back.

"lets go home, we'll turn our phones off and just go to bed... i think we should stay there for the weekend" he smirked wiggling his eyebrows at me making me laugh.

"Thats the best idea you ever had"

"No, the best idea i ever had was suggesting that i be your sperm doner. This has got to be the second best though right?"

"Your such a dork Evans!" I laughed "come on lets go".

The weekend was spent in bed as Chris had suggested, watching movies and catching up on TV shows we wanted to see. Both of our phones switched off and no interruptions, It was the most relaxed id felt in ages.

I was currently laying in bed dozing with Dodger curled up next to me as an old rerun of 'Friends' was playing in the background. Arms wrapping around me me woke me up and i smiled as Chris buried his face against my neck.

"Wake up.... dinner will be ready soon"

"Im awake" i mumbled "sorry i didn't mean to fall asleep. I just feel exhausted, i think you've worn me out Evans"

"I didn't hear you complaining" he teased as his hand slipped under my tshirt and cupped my breast. I hissed and pulled away from him "ow!"

"What?! What did i do?" He sat back in shock looking like id slapped him in the face.

"Nothing baby, it wasn't you... my boobs are really sensitive! Ow... maybe keep your hands off the goods for a little while" i pouted "pregnancy sucks! First the sickness, then the sore boobs...."

"Im looking forward to the part when your super horny all the time" he laughed climbing off the bed and holding a hand out to help me up.

"Haha you would!"

Dinner was a simple pasta dish (nothing fancy with this guy i tell ya!) but it was so good!! Yes i went back for seconds don't judge me im eating for two!

"I sorted out the movers while dinner was cooking, their gonna be at your old place Wednesday that gives us the next two days to get you packed up"

"Is that gonna be enough time?? I have loads of crap you know?"

"It'll be fine, a lot of it you can put in storage"

"I'll probably only really need my clothes,  we dont want my crap laying around. We need to have plenty of room for when the baby comes. Besides youve got everything we're gonna need"

"Just remember this is your home too now, you can have whatever you want in here"

"Thank you baby, but i like it as it is"

"I feel like its missing something though, your place was always so cozy..."

"A woman's touch is all it needs"

"It feels better already just having you here".

He was right, it was enough time. I was soon packed up and moved into my new home with Chris and Dodger. We'd been so busy i didn't even have time to think about all the online stuff that was stressing me out before.

The weeks were flying by so quickly! I was now in my second trimester and it was the best id felt since being pregnant. The sickness was gone and i had been experiencing that horny stage Chris had been looking forward to so much.

I was currently sat on the sofa with Dodger looking through a book of baby names, Chris had been out all morning running errands but we were due at the doctors in a few hours for our 18 week scan.... today was the day we'd find out the sex! It was exciting but i was full of nerves!

"Hey babe!" Chris called as he came through the front door, Dodger looked up but didn't leave my side, he'd become very protective of me lately and was always by my side.

"Still no hello Bud?" I heard Chris say and chuckled to myself "you looking after your mama huh?"

"Protective just like his daddy" i smiled finally looking up from the book, my eyes went wide when i looked at Chris....his hair was shorter and his beard trimmed shorter.

"Wow"

"Does it look okay?"

"Fuck yeah!.... you know i love your hair that bit longer but this is working for you Evans" i wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Glad you approve, i had to have a tidy up Ive got the Premiere on Monday"

"I know, i haven't forgotten"

"And your still okay coming with me?"

"Yeah, cant hide away forever can we" i said looking him up and down, he was wearing blue jeans and tight fitting white t-shirt and i couldn't help but wanna climb him like a damn tree!

"Stop looking at me like that, i know that look and we don't have time!"

"We can be quick!...."

"Nope, come on! Get your sexy ass off that couch and lets go. I promise i will make it up to you when we get home"

"Fine!" I huffed holding my arms out to him to help me up, he shook his head but smiled as he pulled me off the couch, i quickly reached up and kissed him before he could let me go.

"Thats not fair...."

"Sorry i couldn't help myself, lets go then" i laughed walking away from him and grabbing my purse and oversized sweater to hide my small bump i now had “lets go see our baby”.

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings

@sellulii @patzammit @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict @deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03

@shipatheart

[devilbat]

Bad Date

Warning: non really. Just fluff and cheesy ending. Maybe self doubt

Sliding the key into to the door lock. Thinking about, all the ways your date could have gone wrong. Hearing the clock after turning the key. You opened the door quietly. With a heavy sigh you walked into the home of your best friend. Who was mostly still up and waiting for you to call. Letting him know how the date went. You shut the door equally as quiet as you opened it. Hearing the Telly as it play some rerun of a show you both watched together when it first was on. The show was your Wednesday’s night with him. Pizza, wine or beer, popcorn, candy. You both had made it an event. Unless he had to film or travel.

Slipping your heels off at the door, setting your hand bag next to them. You walked towards the living room. You spotted Tom sitting on the couch he was slouched down head rested on the back of the couch, his mouth parted open as he lightly snores. It was cute to see him like this it was a rare sight to see. Though it was never a rare sight to see him sit like a damn English whore, his legs spread wide. Never giving his poor fans a mystery of what could be between them. Trying hard to move towards him as silently as you could. You wanted to sneak up on your unsuspecting friend. Making it to the couch, you flopped down hard next to Tom, causing the poor man to jump to his feet.

“Bloody hell y/n, give me a fucking heart attack why don’t you.” Tom hissed at you when he finally realized it was you. You giggled at the poor man that was breathing hard. Tom sat back down. His eyes still trained on you. You were in that damn little black dress he loved oh so much on you. He wouldn’t admit it but that little thing, it did a number on him and he hated it when you would wear it out on dates. Speaking of dates as he looked at his phone. You were there way to early, in fact it had only been an hour and half.

“I’m sorry,” you laughed. As you pulled you feet up on to Toms lap. It was a normal thing for you and him. Hell you’ve used his thigh as a pillow before. Let alone slept in the same bed. Tom always made you feel comfortable and safe.

“Darling, what happened this time?” Tom asked knowing something must have gone wrong. Let alone for you to be here and not calling him asking him to come and get you or meet you at the closest pub. He could hear your sigh before you started to lay it out your nights event of another bad date.

“Well, so I got to the restaurant, maybe 10 minutes early. Sitting at the bar. I waited, and waited. I ordered a drink. Then waited some more.” You spoke softly. Tom felt bad for you he knew where this was going to go. And he hated that someone could do anything to you. Let alone stand up a gorgeous woman as you. “Even texted him to see if I had the right place and to get a feel of what time he was getting there. Radio silence. I waited still, maybe his phone was dead.” With a sigh you looked down not really wanting to look at Tom. You never could figure out why your dates ended up not working. “Well after an half hour I decided to go. Not before I finished my Second drink. Hell I think the waiter and the bartender felt sorry for me. Though hey he did give me both drink on the house. Even offered to buy me dinner.”

“Well that was nice of him at least.” Tom interjected. As his hand started to massage your calves.

“Yeah it was. But I declined. I thought about calling and having you come there.”

“You know you could of. As you could tell, when you walked in I was doing nothing.” Tom spoke up again.

“I know but, I just wanted to go home. But ended up here instead. I knew it would be to good to be true.” You half smiled, as Tom worked your tired legs. The man did give the best massages. Though your stomach was telling you to go get something to eat you had yet to eat that day mostly you didn’t eat cause you were nervous in the first place.

“I have leftover bolognese, I made earlier. Let me go make you up a plate.” Tom smiles as he pulled you legs up so he could stand up. Setting your legs back down.

“Tom you know you don’t have to. I can go get food.” You pulled at his arm before he could walk any further.

“I insist. Beside your stomach it telling me you most likely didn’t eat at all today. You really need to stop that.” Tom scolded you slightly. Tom knew you well. Making his way into the kitchen. You moved on the couch turning yourself to watch him from the living room. Always love his open floor plan, unlike you flat.

“Hey Tom?” You called out. As you watched his backside working away on making you a plate.

“Yes love.” Tom looked over his shoulder at you. Your head was resting one the back of the couch. Arms dangled down.

“Would you mind if I borrowed some more comfortable clothes.” You pouted. Knowing he would say yes. But you asked anyways.

“Of course love. You know where my bedroom is.” Tom turned back to what he was doing. By the time you came back in one of Tom’s t-shirt and boxes. Tom has sat the plate of food on the coffee table with a glass of your favorite wine.

“Your the best Thomas.” You kissed his cheek as you sat down next to him. It always mad Tom blush when you did thing like that out of the blue.

“Anything for you love. And did you decide to just raid my underwear drawer?” Tom teased. Pointed to your thighs that were currently some what covered in his boxers.

“Maybe?” You looked up shyly food half way in your mouth. Tom shook his a head and chuckled. He wasn’t going to lie he loved it when you would go around stealing his clothes. Sure some of them may never find there way back. Like his rugby shirts. He didn’t care. He looked back over to you when he heard you practically moan over his food. It didn’t even dawn on you how it sounded. “What?” You questioned mouth full of food.

“Oh nothing really. But did you need a moment alone with your food? Sound like your about to cum over there.” You almost choked on food. Covering your mouth to hide you mouth mostly. Face turning red.

“Maybe,” You mumbled. Looking down at the plate. Face heating up. “It just that, you actually know how to cook. Every guy I ended up with can’t cook to save their lives. And the fact you are actually really good at it. Case in point, now if you don’t mind I need another moment with my food.”

“You know that’s not the only thing I’m good at.” Tom grumbled. As he flipped through movies.

“Fine and your a great actor. You can make a believer out of me with any sene you do.” You sighed before taking another bite. Trying to keep your moaning over Toms food to a low hum or nonexistent.

“Well obviously I’m not doing that great of job, if I can’t make you a believer that you deserve better.” Tom grumbled as he finally settled on a movie you both could watch. You scoffed at the man.

“Really, do you want me to mention you last girl thing or as I like to call her, she who shall not be named, that you dated?” Oh yeah you shot back with that one. Now it was Tom’s turn to scoff. It was silent for a bit not awkward just the normal quiet that or Tom was trying to think of something to come back at you. You had finished eating, and set your plate in the kitchen. Settling down next to Tom. Tom at some point pulled you legs into his lap. It was what a normal Friday/Saturday night would look like with Tom.

“Tom?” You whispered as you kept you eye focused on the movie that played.

“Yes darling?” Tom hummed looking over to you. Though he hadn’t been at all focused on the move, like he was on your thighs.

“I think I know why all my dates failed.” You pulled your eyes away from the tv to look at Tom briefly. Tom patted you bare thigh for you to continue. “I’m too fat.” You blurted our. Tom was taking back by your statement. He just stared at you for a moment. You looked over to your dumb founded friend. And sighed heavily at his silence.

“Y/n, you are not that at all. And they will never be good enough.” Tom finally spoke up in frustration. Tom had enough. “That and you never look at what has been in front of you this whole time.” Before you knew what was going on or even mutter what. Tom lends down to kiss you. Catching you completely off guard. Tom pulled away, his eyes meeting your stunned ones.

“Darling are you all right?” Tom asked worried he took it to far. He could feel his heartbeat into over drive. As he waited for you to respond. “I..I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” But before Tom could pullback to his spot of the couch. You hand found his his shirt. Grabbing a hold of it so he wouldn’t leave.

“What took you so long?” You finally spoke. A shy smile spread across you face. Tom let out the breath that he was holding onto. A goofy grin plastered over his face. Before you pulled him back onto your own lips, kissing him properly. His hands held tightly on to your waist desperately hoping you wouldn’t disappear. Your other hand found the back of his neck, tangling your fingers into his curls.

“How about I take you on a proper date? One you’ve always deserved.” Tom mumble as his lips ghosted over yours. His forehead resting against yours.

“I would like that.” You whispered with a nod. Smiling like a fool, you could feel the blush spread across your cheeks.

Permanent tags: @kitkatkl @lokilvrr @instantnoodlese @drakesfiance @meyoko10 @jackheart180 @miraclesoflove @wolfcore227 @mr-hiddlestons-pet @madleiine @teageowen @scorpionchild81

Tom/Loki Tag’s: @theoneanna @graveyard-groupie @silverquartx @moonfaery @kcd15 @moonlightprime @youveseen--thebutcher @shockwavee @sabine-leo @screw-real-life-i-pick-fandoms @vethrvolnir @darkprincessloki92

[crazedattractionff-blog]

Chapter 10

Mayleen Janae Carter

My back against the seat, lighting up my fifth blunt of the night, just thinking about life and Dre...he's always been solid about his feelings towards me, but the way he acts at school is just something different. Why act brand new in front of everyone else, but behind closed doors he shows affection? I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will. I'm not bout to wait on him either, so maybe letting him go will just have to be best. That's what it comes down to.

"Why you don't wanna be together?" Dre asked, looking over at me.

After we parted ways with the crew, we decided to hang out, but now it's getting deep...I didn't think he would be the one to bring it up, but I knew it had to be talked about one way or another...just not tonight, this can go two ways between us.

"Cause Dre, you already have females...I don't wanna be added to that list, aight?" I said truthfully. I'm more than that, and discovered my worth a while ago, I will not be anybody's second choice, rebound, none of that!

"Who said I got females? Cause I don't." Dre paused, licking his bottom lip, scratching under his chin. "Listen, ion want any of em cause they ain't genuine, never really took the time to get to know me, like you did...I ain't comparing em to you, cause you're different, Mayleen. You've always been true, and ion know what took me so long to realize that." He confessed, I had to fight the urge of rolling my eyes.

"Dre..you been smoking, so why couldn't you say this before we were five blunts deep?"

He just shrugged, dropping the conversation.

India Jade Williams

Silence.

That's what consumed the house. Blake is over at one of his friends' houses, a couple other boys on his team spent the night over there; I didn't have a problem with it because we know the family, they've been over here a few times due to parties. As Blake was gone, it was just me and Chris, I'm staying in my room because I don't want to have a run in with Chris...never mind there was only so much silence I can take, so I put my pride to the side and made my way to Chris' room.

Bunny slippers and all.

Blowing out a breath, I raised my hand to knock on his door, soon creaking the door open and walked in slowly. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?" I questioned, as I looked at him, holding a tiny smile.

He shook his head, waving me over.  "Nah you good, wassup?" He licked the corner of his lip, eyeing my petite frame. I looked down at what I was wearing, leggings and a tank top.

"Nothing, I'm bored...and I guess we could have some bonding time?" I added in quickly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. I meant it as like friendly bonding, nothing sexual...but if it happens, it happens.

He raised his brow, shaking his head, "What you tryna bond over?" I just shrugged, his voice was in that relaxed state, had a slight rasp to it, and that shit was a weakness for me.

"We could watch a movie...then eat something?" I suggested. The way he was looking at me had me ready to jump on him, but I had to keep my cool. Getting up from his bed, I clapped my hands and made my way towards the door, "I'll meet you downstairs, we can order a pizza too."

"Aight, I'll be down in a bit." Chris sat up on his bed, going to a box on the side of his dresser. I'm guessing that's where he keeps his stash, cause I have one myself. Nodding, I turned on the heels of my feet and walked out of his room.

Letting out a hum as I sat on the couch, I turned the tv on and settled on old reruns of Wild N Out, it's mad corny now but they got some good guests. Feeling the couch shift, I looked over at Chris, then back at the tv. Out the corner of my eye I saw him split the backwood, pouring the guts into an empty water bottle, and filling the wrap with green.

"Dominos or Pizza Hut?" I asked, as a commercial came on.

"Pizza Hut. The fuck kinda question is that, India?" He chuckled loosely, tucking and folding as he sealed the backwood. I distracted myself by dialing the number for Pizza Hut.

"Hey, I was just asking. Most don't like them." I shrugged, the dial tone ending as someone answered.

"Thanks for calling Pizza Hut, this is Emily, how may I assist you?" Emily spoke, sounding too cheery. Must be her first day, or she just loves her job.

"Hi Emily, what kind of deals are you guys offering?" I asked. You have to ask those type of questions, cause you'll be saving money. Thank me later!

"There's a 2 Medium 2-topping pizzas for $5.99, a Dinner Box with your choice of 1 topping medium pizza your choice of a side with cinnasticks, and then there's our Big Dinner Box, 2 medium pizzas and 1 topping and a choice of two sides." I put her on speaker so Chris can hear too, he mouthed the last option. Of course with his fat ass.

"The last option is sounding great, so for the first Pizza just pepperoni and the second sausage. For the sides, let's do that chicken pasta and buffalo wings." I let her know, Chris smirking. I don't know what for, and I'm not asking.

"Okay, will this be delivery or carryout?"

"Delivery. 14825 Figueroa Court."

"Your total will be $23.50 for the night, will that be on a card or with cash?" I let her know cash, "Great, it should be there within the next 45 minutes."

"Thanks, have a great night." I smiled, soon hanging up and placing my phone onto the arm of the couch.

3 slices of pizza, 4 wings and a scoop of pasta, and I was done for. The itis was kicking in, and I could fall asleep at any given moment, but the movie that was displayed had my interest. The Lion King. My all time favorite, and Chris couldn't say nothing about it.

"I get you love this movie, but com'on let's switch it up." Chris groaned, leaning into the couch, as he lifted up one of his legs, laying it atop of the coffee table.

"Take your foot down." I chuckled, "It's almost over, so chill. You got dibs on the next movie."

"I'm good." He licked his lips, soon standing up and letting out a loud burp, it stank so bad so I covered my nose with my crew neck that I had got before the pizza arrived. "Hmm, Freddie vs Jason, Harold and Kumar, Barbershop 1 and 2. Damn y'all got the good shit." He chortled, looking through the collection against the wall.

"Hey!" I called out, seeing that the screen went to the blue, he really took my movie out.

"You'll be fine, you can watch it anytime you want." Chris put in the dvd he had selected, soon coming back to the couch, and laying down. Barely giving me any space, he ain't slick. "C'mere."

Panties soaked? Check!

His voice was in that husky state. Shaking my head, I stayed put, I'm gonna try and not give in. "I'm good where I'm at."

"Stop being difficult and com'on." A low laugh parted his lips, as he patted his lap. I mentally rolled my eyes, before sitting on him, my legs on the side of his waist, just above his dick. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He taunted, placing one of his hands on top of my butt, and giving it a light squeeze, soon rubbing it.

I bit the corner of my lip, shaking my head. "Cut it out." I said lowly, diverting my eyes to the screen. "What movie did you put in?"

He continued to rub my butt, it was relaxing. "Scary movie." He chuckled, sliding his hand down my thigh, leaving it in a relaxed state.

I just nodded, seeing as the first scene came into play. I needed this. Alone time with no parents, or little brother around. I shifted on top of Chris, placing one of my hands onto his chest, as I nestled my head into his neck, gently pecking his skin. This was perfect, and I don't know what I was doing, or why I even bothered to do that, but for some reason it felt right...our parents aren't married, so there's no harm in us doing this, right?

Feeling his hand contact my skin, caused goosebumps to form against my body. He had slid his hand into my leggings, tracing the material of my thong. My breath got caught in my throat as his fingers reached my entrance, I bit down softly on his neck causing his fingers to slip inside my wetness. Moving my hips to the rhythm of his fingers, I felt his member hardened beneath me. He was wearing basketball shorts.

"Damn." He muttered, licking his lips. "Take these off." He referred to my leggings, removing his fingers from my lovebox. I sat up, soon getting off him and slid my leggings off, leaving me in my black thong and tank top. He reached for me, turning me over to where my ass was directly sitting on his hard-on, "You think you can handle this?" He questioned.

No

"Yes." I licked over my lips, as he moved my thong to the side and inserting himself into me. I moved my hips slowly as I rode him from the back, the sounds of my wetness surrounding the living room as he brought his hand to the front of my entrance and fingered me as I put in my work. "Shittttt." I moaned out, placing my hands onto his knees as I did a slow bounce on him.

"Fuck." I heard Chris grunt, swiftly turning us over as he was now on top, my face in the cushion of the couch. "This my pussy?" He questioned, tapping his dick at my entrance.

I smirked. "No." I looked over my shoulder at him.

He chuckled, "Aight, keep playin." He slid his big length into me slowly, pulled out halfway, then slammed into me causing me to shriek and moan at the same time.

[nightmarenomore-blog]

Nurse of Nowhere

Nothing I learned in school could have prepared me for this.

I finished Loyola Nursing, a good program in Chicago a few months back and landed a stellar, OBCN gig at an old folk’s home…

In Oklahoma

I wasn’t the best student or the best practitioner,

I barely passed my classes,

I managed to slip under the cracks for the degree.

No hospitals in Illinois would touch me as all the other nurses were way more qualified and could keep a decent conversation; I was a computer nerd and a loner so my social skills didn’t transfer over to the patients and clinicians too well. My mom had a friend who worked in Oklahoma City and told her they were in need of nurses for the growing geriatric population (apparently the heart of the dust bowl was very attractive to the baby boomers). She put it a good word to a residence a few miles out from the city and they hired me after the phone interview; they clearly were in desperate need of help, which benefited me greatly.

I rented a studio on the outskirts of town for 500 a month and moved in late July. My mom and I made the 16 hour trek with my mattress and heaping bags of clothes, video games, and toiletries. I had always been a bit of a hypochondriac and clean freak, making me a perfect fit to be in the medical field. My room was always spit shine clean and I’d tell me friends they could eat dinner off my toilet because it was so clean (well my online friends because I didn’t get along with any of the nurses). I get situated over the weekend and start working that Monday, too soon in my opinion but my mom wouldn’t leave until I finished my first day.

There were three nurses in the home that tended to 50 seniors, mostly male. Each had their own living quarters and there were two residential areas with sofas, tables, and most importantly a 50 inch flat screen TV. The seniors spent most of their time in the rec area watching reruns of I Love Lucy and old western films. My main job was to check their vitals, deliver their meals three times a day, and change their diapers and catheters (almost every single one of them couldn’t control their bowels or their bladder). I figured that I would act like a glorified caretaker from what we learned in nursing school, but having it be part of my daily routine was demoralizing and demeaning. I learned to suck it up and just deal with it as I really didn’t have much else of a choice.

For three weeks, I was the glorified adult changing old people diapers and handling flaccid dicks by recreating humane and non-traumatizing versions of kids in the sandbox. Their meals consisted of oatmeal for breakfast, corn and mashed potatoes for lunch, and chicken pot pie for dinner; every. Single. Day. How they didn’t go crazy was beyond me, maybe it was that the daily routine felt normal to them and something they could count on. Maybe it was the fact that most of them had dementia and didn’t realize they were living the same day over and over again. Nonetheless no one complained about the food and as long as I changed their diapers, they were satisfied and content.

I noticed something odd after my three weeks. Each Saturday night, each senior citizen would gather in the west rec room to watch Saturday night live. Not the old 80’s versions, but the new episodes that were broadcast live. They all sat there in silence for the whole hour, glaring at the screen with a smile on each face. It was as if they were glued to a hypnotist that placed them in a trance. They were even more zombie like in this hour than throughout the day; I couldn’t get their attention if I came up to their face and poked their eyeballs.

The following Friday I received a rather strange weather report. The Mississippi river had flooded and carried along with it a huge swarm of mosquitos. The old folk’s home was only a mile west of the river which gave it easy access to fresh water and daily goods for the seniors. Everyone was told to stay inside for the weekend but being from Chicago I lived and dealt with mosquitos my whole life; how bad could it be I thought. I went into work that Saturday afternoon and went about my business, delivering food and cleaning butts and dicks. 9:30 rolls around and I see the seniors beginning to congregate to the west rec room, SNL was about to be on. I walked over to the east part of the complex to gather my thoughts and saw a dark shadow in the distance. Puzzled I stood trying to uncover what it could be. An abnormally large cargo plane? An overfilled cloud that hasn’t had the chance to release its rain? Or even a horde of galloping bison crossing the prairie late at night.

I stood for 10 minutes guessing until I was faced with the startling and horrifying reality; it was the mosquitos from the weather forecast. Terrified I ran to the west rec room to warn the patients and nurses but they were either too tuned into the TV or wouldn’t believe me. I star panicking and run to each room to close all the windows and any opening leading outside. I confront one old man sitting in his room staring east at this oncoming black swarm of death, un-phased and accepting of his fate.

“Sir! I need you to leave your room. We need to get everyone to safety. NOW.”

I sternly addressed him so he knew I meant business.

“God works in mysterious ways my boy. Perhaps this is finally justice for all the wrongs I’ve committed and gotten acquitted for. My time on this Earth is nearing its end; this will be a fitting way to go.”

He spoke with a soft and somber tone, welcoming death with open arms. There was nothing I could say to change his mind.  

I left the man in his room and made my way to the west rec room, SNL had just started so I needed to do something drastic to get the seniors attention. I ran up to the TV, pulled the power plug, and stood in front of the black screen.

“Listen to me everyone! There is a giant swarm of mosquitos coming our way. I need you all to come with me to the kitchen. There are no windows or points of entry so we will be safe until help can arrive.”

All of them looked dumbfounded and frozen; eyes open wide like deer in headlights. I realized what I said hadn’t registered in their heads, they were still wondering why the TV had been turned off.  

“You’re the boy that brings me food and changes my wiener straw. Turn the TV back on!”

Yelled one senior from the back of the room.

“What are mosquitos? I fought in two wars. I can handle some pesky bugs. I want the funny man back on!”

Pleaded another from up in front.                                  

My words went through one ear and out the other. Preaching to these old folks wouldn’t convince them at all, action had to be taken. I started walking to each of the seniors, pulling down their pants, and removing their catheters. One by one I was collecting plastic dick tubes and unleashing streams of piss onto the ground of the west rec room. Angrily, the mob of old men started chasing me down the hall and into the kitchen, my plan was working.

Unfortunately, I was too late; the mosquitos had already flown in through the air vents. In between the west rec room and the kitchen stood myself, and angry mob of old geysers soaked in piss with their pants around their ankles, and bloodthirsty mosquitos the size of acorns. I had never seen mosquitos this big anywhere in Illinois, even when full of blood they were the size of a pine nut and could be swatted to death instantaneously. These mosquitos resembled bats in a peculiar way; insect wings comparable to that of a hummingbird, and stingers that could be substituted for a midget catheter and a blood sac on a few that had eaten the man in the east wing that expanded to three times the size of their body. It’s as if they were genetically created by a lab of vampire scientists needing a better way to acquire blood.

I quickly dropped the handful of wet catheters and jolted to the emergency exit just north of me. I felt no remorse for the dozens of geriatric patients I was abandoning; they were close to death and had lived fulfilling lives, nothing about their time in this home was satisfying or worthwhile compared to their early life adventures. I was no longer a nurse helping the old and sick, but scared young adult fighting for his life. I figured that the mosquitos would feast on the old folks and I would have a good chance of escaping. As I ran out the door and into the parking lot, I saw my car a mere 30 feet away. I sprinted as fast as I could while digging into my pockets for my keys, I didn’t dare look over my shoulder to see what was unfolding. 10 feet from my car my remote start and turned on and the door unlocked, I opened and closed the door in a split second and felt at ease for the first moment in a long while. I didn’t even have the time to take a breath before I heard a thud on my car. I had just merely out run a hungry mosquito that followed me out the door. He didn’t time his ascent correctly and smashed into my window and now lay twitching on the parking lot concrete.  

As I backed out of the driveway, I heard muffled screams and gasps from the old men being drained of their life force, slipping away against their will into darkness. I turned on the radio full blast to drown out their deathly cries for help and drove away as fast as my civic would accelerate, trying to forget what has just transpired. Ultimately, I was in shock and my body wouldn’t stop shaking. I put my car in cruise control and just drove west for a good hour, twenty one pilots calming my nerves little by little to suppress this event deep into the nether regions of my mind.

[ladyofstardust]

Meanwhile in Prague

Word Count: 6k

Rating: T

Summary: In which they go to Prague to vomit, eat, and make-out. In that order. Sarah is still trying to pretend this is Not A Date and Jareth is mostly trying to touch her butt. Nobody does a very good job.

Notes: Apartment-verse fic.  Directly follows the Tinder Incident.  Before Goblins Roasting.  

Sarah paced back and forth in front of the mirror in her kitchen.  It was five minutes to seven and she was trying very, very hard not to think about what was about to occur and instead on picking the lint off of her favourite dress.

She’d changed four times.  Four times and there definitely wasn’t time to change again.  At that point she risked him walking in on her naked.  Which he’d like just about as much as she wouldn’t.  

She thought about what led to this.  Kissing him under the the dim flickering lights of her kitchen.  The tv playing 80s sitcom reruns in the background.  How she was wearing sweatpants and her old college hoodie.  How he’d raked his hand through her gross knotted hair.  How his hand ran underneath the sweater and up her cool back.  He’d felt like fire.  He’d felt like jumping into a cool lake.  Or the way you feel right before you hit ‘send’ on an important email.  Exhilarating and scary all at the same time.  Where you let out a breath only to be punched in the gut.  

But then she thought about real stuff.  About things other than that split second.  About going to the movies with her friends, or walking into a library, or seeing a broadway show downtown.  Then about her career, her apartment, her family and friends, her retirement fund (pitiful as it was), her doctors appointments and dentists.  The restaurants she loved eating at, and the places she dreamed of visiting.  

Fire might keep her warm at night, but it still burned up anything in its wake.

If Sarah was being honest with herself, and like, at this point she figured might as well.  She’d dreamed about kissing him from the first.  She’d dreamed about a hell of a lot more than kissing him and frankly, if she thought she thought she could have that without consequences, she would’ve long ago made those dreams a reality.  Leaving aside everything else, Jareth was just stupid hot.  Like walk into walls, drop whatever was in your hands, make yourself forget about your life to kiss them hot.  But it wasn’t like this was news to her.  Yeah he was hot, but he also drove her nuts.  

Even if she didn’t care about the whole, ‘give up your whole life just to see if this is maybe viable’ thing, which she did, Jareth was also the fucking worst.  He allowed the goblins to treat her home as an extension of their kingdom, he stole her brother and tried to throw her in a feces filled swamp, he used her feelings toward him as a weapon to trap her in that ballroom, he stole her makeup and leftovers, he left glitter goddamn everywhere, and he hated dogs.  Who even hates dogs?

So in what messed up world would she ever want to date him?!

Which is why she changed her outfits four times, and was counting down the seconds until he took her to do just that.  

She watched her phone’s clock go over to 7pm and heard the familiar chime of the bell over the mirror.  

“Goblin King,” she turned to greet him.  “Were you just waiting by the mirror to step through at the precise moment it clicked over to 7?  How very Cinderella of you.”

“Is this typically how one greets one’s date in the human world?”  he frowned.  “I thought you were supposed to be ‘showing me the ropes’ as it were.”

Sarah raised her eyebrows both out of surprise that he was actually planning on holding her to that farce, and his altered appearance.  He’d slicked back his hair and tamed it into a ponytail of sorts.  He was still wearing his leather jacket, but his shirt was plain in nature and was buttoned fully.  He’d also changed into a pair of plain black pants, although he wore the same boots she often saw on him.  The change of his eyes was the most striking.  Jareth had done something to them.  Blunted their effect somehow and instead of a mismatched set, two ice blue eyes stared back at her.  Sarah realized that with those subtle differences, he easily passed for human.  He reminded her a bit of David Bowie with his androgynous features, though Bowie never rocked the ponytail.  

“Fair enough,” she said holding up her hands in a truce.  “You look, weirdly nice Jareth.”

He smiled.  “You should expect nothing less from me.  But I must say, you quite took my breath away as I watched you pacing just now.  I’ve lived a long time Sarah, but seeing you tonight has already been a memory I will cherish.”

“Goddammit,” she hissed, giving him a playful whack on his shoulder.  “You can’t admit to spying and then drop that Jane Austen shit on me.  Don’t make me drape a sheet over the mirror.  But thank you, that’s nice, I’m still mad, but that’s also still nice.”

“Apologies,” he said taking her hand in his.  She made note that he was still wearing his gloves, apparently that had not been part of his humanization.  “I shall endeavour to stare at you less, but you do make it difficult precious.”

He laid a delicate kiss on the top of her hand and raised a brow expecting her to challenge him.  

“Okay first rule of dating human girls,” she said withdrawing her hand.  “I’m used to you and the way you like to talk.  Other humans won’t be.  You’re gonna come off as a creep if you use language like ‘I shall endeavour’.”

“So you wish for me to speak as you do?  With your imprecise phrases and doublespeak?”

“No I think we can write off you using modern slang entirely,” she said, trying to picture him telling some poor girl that his castle was lit or something.  “But let’s shoot for curmudgeonly old person rather than CS Lewis character.  Actually that brings me to rule two, absolutely no talk of magic, goblins, goblin adjacent stuff, and most importantly, me.”

“I cannot believe you’d think I’d tell any old human girl the secrets of my kingdom,” Jareth sniped, insulted.  “You can insult my person as much as you please, but I’d ask you keep your opinions on my rulership to yourself.  If you are neither a citizen of the Goblin Kingdom, nor my wife, then you have no power over my rule.”

“Okay,” she said evenly, pleasantly surprised.  She rarely heard him talk about his kingdom like that.  She knew he didn’t tell people about goblins or magic, but she thought that sometimes he would let his little games of misdirection and teasing go a bit too far.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have overstepped.”

“Of course if you were my wife, you’d be in charge of deciding these things with me,” he grinned at her.  

“I’ll add it to the pro column,” she grumbled.  

“Oh I have a pro column!”  he exclaimed, delighted.  “Well I’m just dying to hear more about all my great attributes over dinner, but I think it best we head off lest we miss our reservation.”

“Yeah considering we’ve already had to apologize to each other and we haven’t left my kitchen, this is starting out like most of my dates already.  You said you wanted to pick the place so where are we going?  Do I need my car keys or can we walk?”

“I was thinking somewhere a little further afield,” he said, extending his hand towards her again.  “Are you willing to let me take us there?”

Sarah hesitated a moment, debating, before sighing and placing her hand in his.  

“Let’s roll magic man,” she said.  “Before I change my mind.”

“Best to close your eyes Sarah,” he warned, pulling her in tightly so there was no space between them.  “It is unpleasant if you are unused to the sensation.”

Sarah closed her eyes and felt the floor drop out from under her.  She dug her nails into Jareth’s wrist in an attempt not to panic, and he squeezed her hand right back as if to reassure her he wasn’t going to let go.  She didn’t dare open her eyes until she heard his voice in her ear.

“Welcome Sarah, to the great city of Prague.”

“PRAGUE?!” she exclaimed, that had snapped her right out of it.  

Well, for about the half second she had to register where she was before she promptly vomited all over the alleyway he’d landed them in.  Jareth, to his credit, seemed to take it in stride and simply grabbed her hair to keep her from being sick all over it.  

“Great,” she said wiping her mouth.  “Usually I like to save the vomiting until later in the date.”

“No time like the present,” he said brightly handing her a handkerchief from his pocket.  “I did warn you, the trip can be unpleasant.”

“Understatement of the year.  Does everyone puke?” she asked, gratefully taking the cloth from his hands.  

“I don’t make it a habit bringing humans along,” he said with a shrug.  “It mostly only seems to occur when I move from place to place in your world.  It actively works against my magic instead of helping it the way the Underground does.  If it makes you feel better, it is deeply unpleasant for me to travel significant distances in cars or most of your trains.”

“That does make me feel a bit better yeah,” she said, smoothing out her dress.  She’d missed her shoes at least.  “But I’m good now.”

“Still feel up to eating?” he asked, offering her his arm.

“Yeah since you brought me halfway across the world and all, the food better be amazing,” she said linking her arm through his.  

“I’ve been coming here for over a hundred years, a relatively new place by my standards,” he said absently.  Sarah struggled to think of a place she’d been going to for ten years let alone a hundred.  

“You’re a creature of habit,” she pointed out.  “You like what you like and then kind of just keep doing that.”

“How true,” he conceded.  “For instance I like you.”

“Nope,” Sarah replied, shaking her head.  “This date is not a real date.  It’s a practice date so you can date other people and stop liking me.”

“Well how am I doing so far?” he asked.

“You lost points when you admitted to watching me standing in front of the mirror, but gained them all back for how nice you were about me getting the pukes in front of you.  But I don’t think I need to tell you most women won’t have to deal with teleportation sickness.”

“There,” he said pointing to a little arched doorway.  From the outside it didn’t look terribly impressive.  An old fresco was painted on top of the doorway, which had writing Sarah couldn’t read.  

Jareth held open the wooden door for Sarah to step through.  As soon as she entered the restaurant she realized that she was dead wrong about this place.  Beautiful elaborate paintings decorated the arched ceilings.  Gold chandeliers lit the room, which complemented the candelabras on the individual tables.  A luxe red carpet lined the room which looked only large enough to seat about thirty or forty people.  

“Jareth,” she hissed into his ear, anxiously smoothing down her suddenly very plain feeling jersey dress.  “I’m massively underdressed.  Also I cannot afford anything on this menu.  I live in a city with hundreds of great restaurants - we couldn’t have just gone there instead?”

“This place is called U Malířů1543.  It is named such because that is the year it was established.  Excellent year by the way, some of the best wine.  You said I could choose the place, and this is one of my favourite Aboveground establishments.  If I thought there was any chance I could have taken you to one of the hundreds of fine establishments Underground that I love without you throwing a fit and spouting off about kidnapping and faerie food again, I would have.”

“That picnic was a terrible half-assed idea and you know it,” she interrupted.  The time he’d tried to surprise her with a “friendly platonic picnic” she was sure seemed like a great idea in his head.  Except he’d forgotten to ask her if she wanted to come and instead just ambushed her one time when she was trying to visit with her friends.  Locking her closest friends in oubliettes while he dropped grapes into her mouth like some sort of demented fairytale was not on. 

“My point is,” he said gruffly, ignoring her.  “I wanted to show you a bit of my world.  Or perhaps more accurately, the parts of your world that I enjoy that have nothing to do with you.  You’re not underdressed, you look perfect as we have already discussed, and as this date was my idea, I will be picking up the cheque Sarah.  Before you interrupt to argue with me about owing debts to faerie, consider the fact that you’re helping me learn how to interact with humans and write it off as a fair trade.  Now are there any more objections or can we take our seats?  We’re already late for our reservations.”

“I have a feeling reservations is going to be the theme of the night,” she muttered, smoothing down her dress.  Maybe if she hadn’t spent so long trying to decide what to wear she’d have had time to iron it.  Sarah eyed the lady at a nearby table.  Her diamond bracelet clinked against her plate every time she reached for her wine glass.  Sarah looked down at the hair tie on her wrist and the cheap charm bracelet her mom had got her a number of christmases ago.  She had no business being in a place this fancy and everyone here knew it.  They were probably already discussing who that dishevelled, puke-smelling girl that just walked in was.  

Jareth stepped forward to speak to the maitre d.  He spoke quickly in a language Sarah guessed must have been Czech.  Her hands tightened into fists as he led them to their seats.  She felt Jareth’s hand over hers and he patted her fist kindly.  

“Why are you so concerned about these other people who you will likely never see again after this night,” he whispered into her ear.

“I don’t like people thinking I’m weird,” she replied quietly.  “It reminds me of being a kid and feeling powerless when people would make fun of me for, well, being weird.”

Sarah sat down and smiled at the maitre d as he pulled out her chair.  If she couldn’t be the best dressed she could at least be the most polite.  

“How do I say thank you?” she asked Jareth quickly.  

“ Děkuji,” he replied nodding at the maitre d and taking his seat.  “Do you mind if I order for you?  The menu is also in Czech.”

“Yeah it’s fine, just no white wines and no fish,” she said gratefully taking another look around the dining room.  

It really was a beautiful place.  Looking at Jareth she realized she was wrong, that she wasn’t the worst dressed here.  Jareth was dressed much the same as she was and he obviously didn’t care.  

“You dressed to match me didn’t you,” she said, realizing.  “You knew how fancy this place was so you watched to see what I would be wearing before choosing an outfit yourself.  You didn’t want me to be self-conscious.”

“Yes,” he replied, eyes shooting to hers as he peered over the menu.

“So then why didn’t you just tell me we were going somewhere fancy so I would have worn something nice?” she asked, confused.

“I...didn’t think you’d come,” he replied, equally confused.

“Okay,” she said putting her head in her hands.  “I would have probably asked if you were planning on covering the bill and maybe the name of the restaurant yeah, but I still would have come Jareth.”

“I will know for next time then,” he replied smoothly.  

“I kinda just want to point out something though,” she said, deliberately stepping over the next time comment.  “I think you spend a lot of time feeling like I should loosen up and go with your plans more.  Then you say something like how you didn’t think I’d come if you told me to wear something nice.  That’s totally different and it kind of upsets me that you don’t get that.  I’m not some fun hating monster Jareth.  I mean for goodness sakes, I let goblins have free reign of my apartment and I go along with your plans more often than not.  But you can’t paint me enforcing what little boundaries I have left as me being rigid.  It’s not fair and yes!  Before you say anything, I know that life’s not fair thanks.  But if you want to date me, or any other human girl, you have to respect our boundaries.”

“So what is the difference between this and say, the picnic,” he said carefully, taking a slow sip of his far too expensive wine.

“Well for starters,” she said, gratefully taking a gulp of the same wine which tasted like every other red wine that didn’t cost an arm and a leg, “that time you didn’t ask.  You gotta ask.  Like that is level one humaning stuff right there.  Most girls don’t mind a bit of a surprise every now and then.  I like surprises!  This is kind of a fun surprise, I’ve never been to Prague.  This is cool.  This would have been ten times as cool if you’d told me this is what we’re doing beforehand because I could enjoy it, dress appropriately, and mentally prepare myself to be teleported halfway across the world.”

“Okay,” he said seriously.  “Let us do something called compromising.  I promise not to take you anywhere without your permission, if you agree to tell me your reservations instead of simply dismissing me.  Allow me the chance to convince you,”

“I’ll agree to that,” she said with a sigh.  “Though that’s mostly because I know you at this point and I trust you not to do anything shady or convince me of anything that is going to hurt me later.  But I feel it’s important you understand that no is an okay answer sometimes.  I’m not rejecting you, well, I’m not always rejecting you, sometimes I just don’t want to and that has to be fine.  Maybe I just don’t feel like doing something insane and wacky, maybe I just want to hang out on my couch and read a book.”

“Is this how all humans treat their friends?” he asked with interest.  “That doesn’t sound like a great deal of fun.”

“Yeah mostly,” she said rolling her eyes.  “Fun is when everyone is having a good time.  I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have fun at one of Toby’s soccer games or hanging out at Six Flags.  So I don’t “surprise” you by taking you there assuming that you’ll have a good time because I am.  You get what I’m saying?”

“I suppose so,” he said crisply.  “But what are six flags?”

“An amusement park,” she said with a smile.  “Do you wanna go?  I could be wrong about this, you don’t seem personally concerned with things like gravity so maybe you’d have a blast.”

“Is that one of those places where everyone gets in the little metal box, allows the teenager standing at the controls to fling them about a bit, then they all get out and talk about what fun that was?”

“The very same,” she said brightly.  “Still wanna go?”

“No,” he frowned.  “I’m fairly certain some of the lower kingdoms still use that as a method of torture.”

“Exactly.  Different definitions of fun,” she smiled, she was cheered up greatly feeling like she’d finally managed to get through to him.  “Though while we’re on the subject of dress,” she said gesturing towards his hands.  “I’ve always wanted to know something.  What’s the deal with the gloves.”

“The gloves?” he said, turning over his hands to examine them, as if he was surprised to find them covered.  

“Yeah, you wear them all the time.  Any reason?  If you touch me will I turn to gold?  Are you secretly Midas?” she asked with a grin.

“No,” he said with a shrug.  “I suppose I hadn’t really thought about how you would perceive it.  Where I’m from, showing one’s hands is an especially...intimate gesture.  Unsuitable for polite company and generally reserved for family and close lovers.”

“Oh really?” she asked, intrigued.  “I never thought about it like that.  Why is it so intimate?”

“Our hands are the conduits for our power,” he replied simply.  “We move and manipulate spells with them.”

“That makes sense,” she said nodding.  “Do you guys feel the same way about breasts as the rest of North America?”

“No,” he said with a laugh.  “The women typically cover themselves but mostly to wear the more elaborate garments most of the high court is so fond of.  The peasant women cover them to keep warm in the winter months, but in the summer it’s common to see them walking around mostly nude.  We’re not very prudish about these sorts of things.”

“No, I never got that impression from you,” she said with a raised brow.  “So the glove thing is a bit of a surprise.”

“I suppose we all have our traditions,” he said with a smirk.  “Now what other human things should I be aware of before throwing myself into the dating world of humans.”

“Well for starters, it’s good to ask people questions about themselves.  Then listen to what they are saying and ask questions about their answers.  It’s not a quiz though so don’t take notes or rapid fire random crap like what their favourite ice cream is.  Just have a conversation.  Kinda like we’re doing now.”

“Yes I should think I have a handle on that,” he said rolling his eyes.  “But why did you request I not speak of you to these women?  Shouldn’t one tell their date about their friends?”

“Yes…” she said carefully, she’d really hoped to avoid this, but knew it had to come up at some point.  “But I don’t think you should mention me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not sure you can talk about me in a way that doesn’t immediately tell any date that you’re interested in dating me instead of them,” she answered quickly, just wanting to move past it without much discussion on the subject.

Jareth looked as if he was thinking about this for a moment, considering a possible answer.  Then he turned back to his meal as if she’d said nothing at all.

“Are you not going to argue with me?”  she was genuinely confused by his reaction.

“No.” he said, taking another bite of his dinner.

“Because I’m right?”

“Yes.”

“Well...okay,” she said confused.  He had agreed with her, so why was she so annoyed?  In fact, he’d dropped the subject quickly which was the best scenario she could have hoped for.

They sat in silence for a moment as Sarah picked at her dinner.  It was easily one of the best meals she’d ever eaten but she was having trouble enjoying it.    

“Are you really going to go out with one of those girls from Tinder,” she finally blurted out.  

“I don’t know,” he said putting down his utensils.  “Do you still want me to?”

“I owe you an apology probably,” she said with another sigh.  “I’ve been a shitty friend lately.  Running away every time you come near and then shoving all those women in your face like they’re interchangeable.  I’ve kind of been behaving like a child.”

“Kind of?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t push me Jareth,” she said shaking her head.  “I panicked.  When you kissed me it reminded me of the ballroom, you know, the elephant in the room we don’t talk about?”

“Yes,” he said avoiding her eyes.  

“Yeah so it kinda brought me back to that moment.  When all I wanted was to kiss you - which I think you knew at the time so let’s not pretend this is new information.  The last time I wanted to kiss you it nearly cost me everything.  You nearly cost me everything.  I know we’re trying to move past that to be friends, but you kissing me is making that hard.”

He paused and looked at her consideringly.  “Has it occurred to you that perhaps I want you to want to kiss me?”

“It’s occurred to me plenty yeah,” she sighed.  “But I can’t want that.”

“Can’t?”

“Can’t,” she replied firmly.  “The price is too high Jareth.”

“You don’t even know what the price is,”  he challenged.  “I’ve never asked anything of you.”

“But that’s the thing, you don’t have to ask. I know - I’m not stupid and I’m not some kid who’s just gonna throw my hands in the air and shout about true love being all that matters.  For starters true love is bullshit, and for another I have things about my life that I really like that are just straight incompatible with - whatever the hell we’d be if we just started kissing a whole bunch, I don’t know.  I just know that I don’t want to want to kiss you.”

“I’m sorry for putting you in a position where you feel you can’t want to kiss me,” he replied. “But know that I hope you’ll change your mind.”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry for forcing your hand so that you felt the only way you could take me on this date was to trick me into it.  I can see how we ended up here and this one is mostly on me.  But somehow, someway, despite all my very best efforts, you’re my friend Jareth.  I’d like to keep you as my friend but you need to cut this kissing shit out.”

“I would remind you who kissed who in the first place,” he said, taking another careful bite of the very expensive potatoes.

“Oh but you finished it Goblin King,” she replied evenly.  

“I intend to yes,” he said with a smile that Sarah didn’t entirely trust.  

The rest of the meal passed, to Sarah’s surprise, relatively pleasantly.  Jareth told her about the last couple times he’d been in Prague and how the city had changed.  Sarah enjoyed listening to him tell her about a world that she’d only known from her history books.  It was a unique perspective, and one many would kill for.  She enjoyed hearing him describe the concerts he’d been to and the different people he’d met.  Most of their names he had forgotten, but she was surprised at the affection his voice held when he spoke of them.

Jareth had suggested they take a bit of a walk after dinner.  Sarah thought this was a great idea as walking around Prague at night for an hour, and then getting to crawl into her own bed to sleep seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity.  She hadn’t planned for the change in temperature though so Jareth lent her his jacket.  Sarah gratefully accepted.  

“I feel you should know something,” she told him as they walked along the cobblestone streets.  

“Oh?” he said in surprise.  

“Yep,” she nodded.  “I drank all that fancy wine at dinner and those food portions were teeny tiny and you see I have no food from before in my stomach because of the puking and basically, hello I am tipsy.”

“Excellent,” he said wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  “Then this would be the perfect time to ask you all those soul searching questions.”

“Oh no,” she said laughing.  “You’re not going to in vinos veritas me.  No no.  Not today buddy, not today.”

“Hmm,” he said considering their surroundings.  “This does make the matter of getting you home more difficult though.  I don’t want you losing that very fancy dinner all over your nice kitchen floor.”

“Yeah how’d you pay for that anyways?” she asked.  “Pretty sure you’re not walking around with a Visa card in those tight pants of yours.  I would know, because of how tight your pants are.  Your pants are tight Jareth.  Tight Pants McGee is what I should call you really.”

“Oh you are just delightful when inebriated aren’t you?” he said with a grin.  “Tell me more about my tight pants and all the ways you’ve noticed how tight they are.  Actually I’d prefer an alphabetical list of all the times you’ve checked out my ass in my pants.”

“Sure sure ass,” she said nodding.  “Definitely just the ass.  Anyways no thank you Mr. Tighty, as I just said, we’re not in vinos veritasing me.  I’m a strong independent woman who can handle her shit and her wine.”

“I’d never dream of suggesting otherwise.”

“But like, just checking, we didn’t dine and dash that place did we?  I don’t think they’re gonna track me down and find me or anything, but I’m not about tricking people that we paid when we didn’t.  I know about faerie gold.  I can’t really afford it, like at all, but if we need to I can go back and put it on my card.”

“No,” he said waving a hand. “That is a trick for lower faerie.  I have some human investments that do quite well.  Real estate mostly.  It collects a nice paycheque that I use to fund myself and my kingdom’s activities here Aboveground.”

“You’re...a landlord.” she said with disbelief.  The idea that Jareth could be anyone’s landlord was somehow baffling. Especially when she considered her own landlord, the overweight fifty something gentleman with a limited understanding of English but who really loved the local hockey team as everything he owned seemed to be plastered with its logo.

“I suppose I am,” he replied.  “I don’t actually do anything to earn the money.  I have human emissaries who handle that side of my business.  Not uncommon for high faerie to have human businesses, and we learn a little about your economics and history during our schooling.  I have a couple lawyers and whatnot and I believe an accountant.  To be honest I can’t quite recall.”

“This is completely mind blowing,” she said.  “You’re probably like crazy rich then.  God, my mom would just freak out if she knew I turned you down.”

“Every time I hear about your mother the woman sounds more and more … complicated,” he finished diplomatically.  

“Yeah sure,” she said with a snort.  “Complicated.  You can say shallow you know.  It’s not like this is news to me.  I worry a lot about ending up like that.”

“You do?” he asked with interest.  “Why?  You’re nothing like the woman.”

She stopped walking and stared at him.  He took his arm from her shoulder and gave her a puzzling look.  “What is it Sarah?  Have I upset you?”

“No it’s not that,” she said, her head starting to clear up.  “It’s just, you know you’re the first person to say that?”

“I am?” he asked, brow furrowing in confusion.  “That cannot be true.”

“People are always going on and on about how much like her I am,” she said raking a hand through her hair.  “I know I look like her.  But my dad and Karen used to say during arguments how I was just like her.  So stubborn and sharp tongued.”

Jareth took her by the wrist and gently guided her down a narrow alleyway.  “You are stubborn and sharp tongued.  But you’re not just like anyone.  You’re not vain, shallow, or obsessed with your status in life.  From what you’ve mentioned about your mother, I would guess you have very little in common.”

“I know,” she said squeezing his hand.  “It’s just nice to hear someone else say it for once.”

“Are you still inebriated,” he asked her taking a quick look around.

“No, I’m pretty sober now.  The walk helped a lot.  Did you figure out an easier way for me to get home.”

“I did,” he replied.  “Or at least, I should like to try something.  As I said I don’t take humans alongside very often so I’m not sure if this will work, but I think it is our best shot.  Though you may not like it.”

“It definitely can’t be any worse than the trip here,” she said with a laugh.  “So just go ahead, I won’t bite.”

“Promise?” he asked with a wicked glint in his eyes.  

Sarah didn’t have a chance to answer before he pulled her in.  She wasn’t sure if the ground fell because he kissed her or if he kissed her to keep her from falling.  He kissed her smoothly and easily, like it was something he did every morning before she left for work.  He kissed her like it was summertime and they had the rest of the day to just lie in the grass kissing each other like that.  He kissed her like he knew her and it made Sarah’s heart jump to think that maybe he did.  

The last time he kissed her, she reasoned that she needed to kiss him back because she wasn’t going to let him ruin kissing for her without ruining it for him right back.  This time she kissed him back because it kept her from thinking about them falling through the nothingness of space and time.  

Or at least that’s what she’d say if anyone asked.  It absolutely definitely wasn’t because he smelled good and kissed even better.  Nope, that had less than zero to do with it.  

She barely noticed they’d landed before he pulled back.

“There, I thought that might do it,” he said smugly.  

“Well...you were right,” she said slightly out of breath.  Her head was swimming but her dinner seemed content to stay where it was.  

“I was?” he said with smug smile.

“Yep, I didn’t like that,” she said giving him a solid whack on the arm.

“Ow Sarah!” he whined.  “It worked did it not?”

“That was absolutely the last kiss you’re ever getting so I hope you made it count because kissing is done now,” she said annoyed.  

“Something tells me it won’t be,” he said with a smirk and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.  “But I’d like to point out I did ask.”

“Bite me.”

“I intend to,” he said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  “But as you know all good dates end with a kiss and I think this was a very good date indeed.”

“I suppose,” she grumbled.  A small part of her was quite pleased she’d had another excuse to kiss him.  But like hell if she’d ever admit that out loud.  

“Have a good rest of your evening Sarah,” he said stepping backwards through the mirror.  “Until next time.”

“Ugh whatever,” she sighed waving him off.  She waited until he was fully gone and then narrowed her eyes into the glass.  “And if you’re still watching know that I can absolutely move this mirror into my landlord’s bathroom and I don’t think you’ll like the view from there half as much.”

Sarah thought she heard a laugh somewhere in the far distance and decided she was just going to have to take her chances.  There was a reason the mirror lived in the kitchen and not her bedroom.  

[lost-n-stereo]

my only wish this year (it’s you)

[AO3] 

A/N: It’s finally finished! These are the last two chapters but you can read the entire thing on tumblr HERE or on AO3 at the link up there. Thanks to everyone that has read/reviewed/liked/commented on this fluffy little fic. I really hope you all enjoyed it!

chapter 4

The week after Christmas is a blur of getting to know this man that already knows everything about her.

She finds out that he loves chocolate chip cookies but never with milk. He likes them with orange juice which is basically the grossest thing she’s ever heard. He’s fluent in three languages, knows more about history than anyone she’s ever met and can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under five minutes.

They spend their nights wrapped up in each other, his leg tucked in between hers and his head usually resting between her breasts. It’s as natural as breathing and every single night she goes to sleep terrified that when she wakes up the next morning she’ll be alone. There’s no way that this is permanent. She’s too happy, too content, and as great as it is, it still doesn’t feel real.

But every morning, there he is. Brown messy curls and his reading glasses askew as he reads from whatever book is sitting on their nightstand. She has grown to love the feel of his morning stubble brushing against her cheek when he kisses her good morning. His off key singing when he cooks her breakfast is endearing and when he makes love to her it’s like he’s setting her on fire from the inside out.

The last day of December starts with a snow flurry and Clarke holds a cup of hot chocolate in her hands as she watches kids playing in the park across the street from her apartment building.

“They’re cute,” Bellamy says when he comes up behind her, his nose cold on her neck when he presses a kiss to her shoulder.

Clarke nods and lets out a little sigh when he nibbles the skin behind her ear. “You’re insatiable.”

She can feel his chuckle against her entire body. “Sorry?”

“Don’t be,” she whispers as she turns around in his arms. “I love it.”

“And I love you,” he says before capturing her lips with his but she holds up a hand before he can take it any further.

“We’ve barely left the apartment all week,” she giggles when he bites her bottom lip and tugs. “It’s New Year’s Eve. What do you want to do?”

Bellamy turns her back around so he’s standing behind her again and holds her close against his front. “Nothing. I just want to sit on the balcony at midnight, my arms around my girl and a good bottle of wine to split between the two of us.”

Clarke sighs happily and leans back in his arms. “Sounds like heaven.”

***

A heavy weight sits on her shoulders all day and she can’t figure out why.

Nothing is different than the last few days. They eat lunch at the dining room table, their legs intertwined underneath, and she snorts into her coffee when he does a spot on impression of Raven. They watch reruns of Friends and The Office until her sides hurt from laughing so much.

“Do you think something can be too perfect?”

She’s laying on the sofa with her feet in his lap and he tickles her heel as he ponders her question.

“That’s a little random. Explain?”

She shrugs and twists so her toes are running up the outside seam of his jeans. “I don’t know,” she admits. “Like this, us. Do you ever feel that it’s too good to be true? Like if we close our eyes for too long we’ll wake up and it’ll just be…”

He pokes her foot with his finger when she doesn’t elaborate. “It’ll just be what?”

“Gone.”

The word hangs between them and she wishes like hell she could just take it back. This is her life, at least for now, and she should be enjoying it, not making it awkward with random philosophical questions.

Bellamy holds out his hand for her and she rolls her eyes a little before letting him pull her across the couch.

“Clarke, I don’t know or care if this is too good to be true.” He pushes her hair out of her face and drops a kiss to her temple. “All I know is that I am happier with you than I am when I’m without you. I don’t want to lose that feeling. Ever.”

“Me either.”

They make love on the couch with the TV playing softly in the background and the snow falling steadily outside.

*** Midnight feels like a deadline.

She can feel it in her bones, deep inside where her intuition lies. Something is off and she doesn’t want to believe it but she knows that it’s true.

Tonight is their last night.

Even though she can feel the clock ticking, like she’s some fucked up version of Cinderella, she doesn’t want it to change anything between them. She makes them a simple dinner with big glasses of wine that she spent way too much money on. They settle in to watch the ball drop, thankful that they are inside on this freezing winter night and not in the middle of thousands of strangers.

She’s in his arms (for now) and that’s enough for her.

Bellamy yawns at ten minutes to midnight and she panics. It’s too early to go to bed and she doesn’t want this night to end just in case she wakes up alone in the morning.

“Hey,” she pokes him in the side. “What happened to sitting on the balcony at midnight?”

He grins, albeit a little sleepily, and stands up. “What my lady wants, my lady gets.”

Clarke snickers and grabs the blanket from the back of the couch. “You’re a dork. Let’s go.”

The snow is still falling softly but they are protected by the overhang on her balcony. Clarke shivers a little despite her long sleeve shirt, pajama pants and wool socks.

“Come here,” Bellamy says quietly from behind her and she smiles as she settles between his outstretched legs on the wicker chaise. He runs his hands up and down her arms a few times. “You’re so cold.”

“I’m better now.” She snuggles into his warmth and he kisses her neck once before putting his chin on her head.

It’s then that a light in the sky catches her eye and she sucks in a breath. No, this can’t be happening.

“Was that a shooting star?” Bellamy asks her and she closes her eyes in a panic.

God, I hope not.

“Maybe it’s a satellite,” she says weakly. “Don’t think you can make a wish on those though.”

“Then we’ll pretend,” he tells her sweetly. “Make a wish, Clarke.”

Her heart is pounding. This can’t be over. It just can’t be. She’s not ready. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and makes her wish.

I wish this was all real.

Bellamy is still holding her when she opens her eyes but she knows how this works. He’s going to be there when she falls asleep but come morning she’ll be back to her old life.

“I need to say something,” she says, sitting up so she’s facing him. “No matter what happens tomorrow I need you to know something.”

“Clarke…”

She shakes her head. “No, please don’t stop me. Just let me talk.” He nods his head and waits so she continues. “Before this week you were just this stranger to me. A guy I watched from afar and I know this doesn’t make sense to you but just bear with me, okay?”

He’s just staring at her and she knows there’s a question on the tip of his tongue but she’s not going to give him the chance to question her when they are running out of time.

“I didn’t know you but I do now and I am so in love with you, Bellamy Blake. I am hoping like hell that when I wake up tomorrow you’ll be here but if you’re not, then at least I got to spend the last week being loved by you.”

Tears are falling freely but she doesn’t try to stop them and Bellamy doesn’t say anything, just pulls her down until his lips are on hers. She’s sure that he can taste her tears but he doesn’t seem to mind, just kisses her deeper as sounds of celebration start up around them.

“Happy New Year,” he whispers against her lips. “No matter what, I am yours. Okay?”

She nods and smiles even though she feels like breaking down. “Take me to bed, Bellamy.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

***

She knows he’s not there before she even opens her eyes.

Her chest doesn’t feel heavy for one. Every morning she’s woken up to his arm lying under her breasts, the warmth of his skin acting like her own personal heater. The bed is too cold and she tries to pretend that she’s back in that other world. Back with him.

Her phone is going off next to her head and she sighs as she moves her hand around without opening her eyes.

Merry Christmas Eve! reads the text from Raven but…

What? It’s January 1st, not Christmas Eve. Isn’t it?

Only her phone confirms that it’s December 24th when she pulls up her calendar. Her heart is aching in her chest. She runs her hand absently over the empty side of the bed, her sight blurring when she sees the dish that held Bellamy’s glasses is nowhere to be found.

She needs a plan, a way to get him back into her life. There’s no way she can just run up to him and tell him that she’s seen what their life could be together but she can’t sit back and do nothing either.

For now though, because it’s Christmas Eve again and she’s completely alone, she curls herself onto what she now thinks of as his side of the bed and she cries.

~~~

chapter 5

Six weeks later

The sun is barely peeking through the clouds as she hurries along the street, a white cashmere scarf wrapped around her neck. She thought it would be festive to wear pink and white even though it’s not actually Valentine’s Day because it falls on a Sunday this year and she doesn’t work weekends.

“You’re here early,” Raven comments when Clarke passes her office. “Nice coat,” she snickers and Clarke flips her off.

“Shut it,” Clarke laughs. “I happen to love this coat, thank you very much.”

Once she’s in her office she unbuttons the baby pink peacoat and tries not to dwell too much on the memory of Bellamy telling her about their first kiss. It’s been a month and a half since the dream or whatever the hell it was and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t think about him every day.

There was a moment when they made eye contact on the subway not long after she woke up and she could swear that he knew, that he felt it too. But then he just smiled and boarded the train, asked her how her holidays were and went back to his book.

Her holidays, her real holidays, were spent alone for the most part. She got together with Raven, Monty, Harper and some friends the day after Christmas for brunch. Raven listened intently as Clarke described the insanely detailed dream she had.

“You have to talk to him,” Raven insisted when Clarke finished telling her everything. “Maybe it was more than just a dream. Maybe it was a…glimpse.”

“A glimpse?”

Raven had just nodded excitedly. “Yes, like the universe showing you what your life could be like if you just took a chance.”

So she set out to talk to him more. Ask him on Mondays how his weekend was and then if he had any big plans on Fridays. They sit and laugh as they exchange stories about their crazy friends or family. She is getting to know him, slowly but surely, and she knows that soon she’ll have the guts to make a real move.

She didn’t get to see him this morning because she wanted the weekend to herself and the book she’s currently editing requires extra attention and she’d much rather do it in the office than on her downtime.

“What are you doing here so early?” Clarke asks Raven after grabbing each of them a cup of coffee from the break room. Raven does her grabby hands when Clarke passes her the mug and she laughs. “You’re never here this early. What’s up?”

Raven shrugs. “I may or may not have a date tonight and wanted to get some work done so I could get out of here early.”

Clarke mock gasps and puts a hand to her chest. “Why has my little Raven found a gentleman caller?”

Raven rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her coffee. “Shut up. His name is Wells and he’s a contractor for some big shot company in Brooklyn.”

Clarke sits up in her seat. “Wait a second…Wells? Wells Jaha?”

“Oh shit, why do you know his last name?”

Clarke grabs her phone and logs into Facebook, pulling up Wells’ profile. “Is this him?”

“Oh shit, why is he on your friends list?” Raven’s forehead hits the desk and Clarke laughs.

“I’ve known Wells Jaha since…god since we were infants. He was my first boyfriend, actually.”

This causes Raven to look up and scowl. “So you’re telling me that I’m about to go on a date with your childhood sweetheart?”

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s a very nice guy. And a pretty decent kisser but then again I was only eight so what do I know?”

Clarke ducks when Raven throws a stack of post its at her. “Get out of my office, will ya? I got work to do.”

The rest of the day passes without fanfare. Clarke throws Raven a wink when she heads out an hour early and she laughs when Raven scowls and flips her off. She still has another hour before she can head out of here so she buckles down to work, her headphones playing softly in her ear as she moves her red pen across the stack of papers in front of her.

The subway platform is surprisingly empty when she arrives so she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her Facebook and Twitter feeds.

She leans against a pillar with her phone in her hand and she can’t help but laugh out loud at a text that just came through from Raven.

Still can’t believe I’m about to go mack on your childhood boyfriend. Wish me luck.

Clarke’s just about to type in a response when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

“You have the most adorable laugh I’ve ever heard.”

Her breath hitches in her chest when she turns around and sees Bellamy standing there with his hands tucked into his front pockets, a bright smile on his gorgeous face.

She blushes when he winks. “Thank you. What are you doing here? This isn’t your stop.”

Bellamy shakes his head and steps closer to her. “It’s not but I had to see you.”

“You did?”

Her heart is beating so fast it’s likely to take flight and fly right out of her chest.

Bellamy takes another step closer and then another until he’s almost toe to toe with her. “I did,” he nods. “Clarke, I have wanted to tell you something for weeks but it never seems to be the right time and I’m tired of waiting. Octavia keeps telling me to just make a move and she’s right so that’s what I’m doing.”

Clarke sucks in a breath when Bellamy reaches down for her hand. This can’t be happening. Not when she’s wearing exactly what he said she was wearing. Not when he’s saying exactly what he told her that he said.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And if you don’t go out with me I might just die,” he chuckles. “Dramatic I know but I feel like we need to know each other. And I know that you feel it too, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. Please tell me that you feel this too.”

She doesn’t nod or agree, just stands up on her toes and kisses him gently. A slight brush of her lips across his and it somehow feels exactly like she remembered but also an entirely new experience. His hands find her hips and he holds her close to him as he kisses her thoroughly.

“Wow,” he says when he pulls away. He rests his forehead on hers and smiles. “I definitely didn’t know that was going to happen.”

Clarke grins and tugs him down so she can speak against his lips.

“Don’t worry. I did.”

*** 10 months later

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

Clarke groans when Bellamy nips the skin right beneath her belly button with his teeth. “You too. Now don’t stop.”

Bellamy chuckles as he moves further down and she can feel his breath hot on her inner thigh. “Is it just me or does this feel a lot like déjà vu?”

Shortly after they started dating Clarke confided in him about her dream, her glimpse and even though it seemed farfetched there were a lot of things she couldn’t have known otherwise. Octavia’s boyfriend Lincoln, for one. There was no way for Clarke to know about him and when she met the real Lincoln she almost had a heart attack. Also, the cookie thing. She almost laughs just thinking about the time she brought him a glass of orange juice with his stack of cookies instead of milk.

“How in the world…” He had looked from the glass to her a few times in awe and she had just laughed and shrugged. And of course she’ll never in her life forget the moment that’s happening again right now.

“Maybe because it’s happened before,” she says breathlessly as she clutches his shoulders. “Will you please, please give me my present now?”

“With pleasure,” he mumbles against her but instead of putting his mouth on her he puts a small box on her stomach instead.

“Bellamy…” She looks down, her eyes wide, as she takes in the black velvet box resting on her bare skin.

He grins, that devastatingly handsome smile he pulls out only on special occasions, and repositions himself so he’s hovering over her.

“Clarke, I feel like I’ve known you forever. I believe that this isn’t our first lifetime together and I don’t think it’ll be our last. So…” He pauses to open the box and Clarke feels the first tear hit her cheek when he pulls out the ring. “Will you marry me?”

She doesn’t nod or agree, just leans up and brushes her lips gently against his. A kiss that encompasses both the past and their future, familiar but as exciting as their first kiss like it always is.

“Should I take that as a yes?” He chuckles against her lips and she finally nods and holds out her hand so he can slip the ring on.

“Wow,” she says, resting her forehead against his. “I definitely didn’t know that was going to happen.”

He pushes a strand of hair out of her eyes and kisses her again.

“Don’t worry. I did.”

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so today was alright. mood still isn’t great but it’s a bit better than yesterday. It’s still really frustrating to be in May and still not knowing what my future plans are going to be. The NY job said they were making hiring decisions in “May” with no more specificity than that. So now we’re on our 6th day of May and still nothing. I just hate not knowing. I fear that if I don’t get it it’s going to be more of that because I still won’t know specifically what job I’ll be doing, or will eventually be getting, but at least I’ll know where I’ll be living, and I suspect that continuing to live in Chi will keep me happy (mixed feelings on New York, they have the job I want but the place isn’t ideal atm). but yeah, between that and the stress of two more finals to complete before graduation, which is officially a week away, has had me under some stress. Finals are Monday and Wednesday, family comes in on Friday, graduation is Saturday. I guess I’ll spend Thursday trying to do my entire wardrobe in laundry because it’s currently all on the floor of my bedroom. At least my family isn’t staying here (it’s not like we could fit them). but anyway, today. I woke up at like, 12:30, always nice. I heated up the left over m&m pancakes from yesterday and ate those. For some reason last night I became really interested in making toffee, not entirely sure why, so I was going to attempt that. I had a fairly simple recipe, just butter and sugar and a little water, heat it until it hits 300, then pour it onto a baking sheet. simple enough, right? except it started burning before it hit 300 and I was just like WELP so it came out pretty uniformly burnt. so I was just like well that didn’t work so I’m gonna try again, so I did, and this time stirred it so the heat was more evenly distributed, and it had only just started to burn by the time it hit 300 so most of it came out good, so I was pleased with that result. now that that was done, I needed to actually start studying, so I went through my remedies flashcards, which takes up a good chunk of time being that there are 250+ of them. But after that I wanted to do more baking because after church tomorrow my small group is having our final potluck thing that got put off for like two weeks because people were gonna be out of town. I think it started as a like, bring food from your culture thing, but like, I’m not one of the international people and what am I going to make, like lasagna? plus it’s after church so with the dynamics of all of that I figured it would be best to bring something that didn’t require heat or refrigeration, so I settled on meringues, along with the oatmeal m&m cookies I made earlier this week because nobody else is going to eat those (and m&ms are totally American culture). I had a pretty simple meringue recipe (that’s exactly the sentence I used earlier about the toffee but it fits the same) that used a piping bag to get them on the sheet. so I do the whole prep thing, which is basically just adding sugar to egg whites then beating the crap out of them (with a mixer, obviously). So then I attempted to get the meringue into the piping bag and it did not go well, it was super messy and did not look good, but once I actually started trying to make them it actually worked really well, so I was pleased. it made like, a fuck ton of meringues, probably because they were coming out too little, but whatever. I stuck them in the oven for like 90 minutes at 200 degrees while I did a secured transaction lecture off the bar studying website, which I think I mostly understood, so that was good. I had some dinner and settled in front of the tv for some Game of Thrones, which I watched two episodes of. I’m still vaguely like “wait, who’s that guy” for like half of the characters but I think I’m getting the general idea of all of it. I still feel really bad for Sansa and would like to punch the crap out of Joffrey at any given opportunity. When I was finished with those it was a little after 9 and I wanted to watch SNL at like 10:30 so I just went to the station and watched the rest of the rerun they had on, then through the 10 pm news until SNL started. I made some ramen during this time because I had a very strong craving for it for some unknown reason. the opening sketch was Michael Cohen (played by I’m pretty sure was Ben Stiller?) placing a bunch of phone calls to various parties and it was really hilarious and very on point. I watched until a little after 11 at which point I started getting ready for bed because I have to go to church in the morning and didn’t want to stay up to finish the episode. and yeah, that was pretty much my day. nothing too exciting, but alright. Tomorrow is church and then potluck (at the church) then we’ll see what happens after that (probably not much). Finals this week are for my night classes so they're at 6 pm, which is kind of annoying but it also means I can use the whole day to study, which is helpful. I have two more secured transactions lectures left, so my general plan was to focus on remedies tomorrow, do one secured transactions lecture Monday while doing remedies for the rest of the day (remedies final is that night) then do the last lecture on Tuesday and other secured transactions studying, and do just review questions Wednesday until my final that night. Still no grades posted, which I’m kind of excited but also slightly anxious about. I know my legal drafting final came back with a much, much higher grade than expected, but I still don’t know how the class is going to be graded overall (as in if it’s curved or just straight up point based) so I’m not entirely sure what’s going to happen there. I’m telling myself that I’ll be happy with a B or anything better than that, but I also know that if I end up with a B and not at least a B+ I’m gonna be slightly ticked off because I didn’t want to get any more B’s on my transcript (there are currently two) (yes I know I’m obnoxiously pretentious about my grades but I gotta maintain that top 15% status) so if I get another B on there I’m not gonna be happy. But at the same time it’s really not a big deal because I’m graduating, and my grades are just reduced to a GPA and class rank for the rest of my career, so as long as those are acceptably high enough I will be content. Okay, now I’m just rambling when I need to be going to bed, so I’m gonna do that now. Goodnight babes. Sleep well.