#either their families are abusive or the guy their parents want them to marry is abusive or they’re just lesbians

[lilnasxvevo]

My favorite dumbass headcanon is that all the apparently unmarried sect leaders post-timeskip actually ARE married and it just doesn’t come up. Nie Huaisang has like 3 kids it’s just not relevant to the story

[lovehurtsandilikeitthatway]

Nightmares

Male Yandere x Reader

Hi everyone!! This my first ever time posting my writing on here, so I'm a little nervous- English isn't my first language so sorry if there are some grammar/spelling mistakes or anything like that 😭 Please know that I don't support any kind of "yandere" behaviour irl and if you have any person like that in your life, make sure to distance yourself from them and stay safe 🙏 I tried not to romanticise the yandere-ish in this either so I hope it doesn't come off that way.

WARNINGS‼️: Yandere behaviour, cursing, abuse, needles, mentions of panic attacks, drugs, kidnapping, manipulation, noncon touching/kissing (nothing nsfw), blood, biting, knives, death

Four years. It had been exactly four years ever since you managed to escape the hellhole that was your abusive boyfriend's apartment. Four years since you left Japan too; as you wanted to make sure he'd never find you again. Now you lived in London as a librarian, in a small run-of-the-mill apartment all by yourself. It was a quiet life; but you liked it that way. You had to change your name to make sure he couldn't get to you, and thus you couldn't have much contact with your family and friends still in Japan. It hurt you, knowing that you were so far apart from them, but it was much better than being stuck in that place with no way out.

Of course; it had started out like any other relationship. You were both in university; he was a business major and quite popular, as his parents owned a well known company which he was bound to inherit. But his riches weren't the only thing that made him popular. He was also known for being very charismatic with a large social circle, having near flawless grades and (amongst the female school body, mainly) being fairly handsome on top of all that too. You'd be a liar to say you didn't have a bit of a crush on him at first too; but it was very similar to a celebrity crush. He was unobtainable and you had created an ideal version of him in your head; so you could fantasize yourself going on a date with him or some other crush of yours from time to time for the funsies. You thought that would be all he'd ever be to you; but boy were you wrong.

Surprisingly, you met at a house party. The host was a friend of a friend; and you were basically convinced to go by your friend group despite being hesitant. It turned out that, just as you suspected, the party wasn't really your vibe; but your friends were having fun. So you decided to go hangout in the backyard by yourself until another friend of yours had to go, so you didn't feel awkward being the first in the friend group to leave. Surprise surprise, he was there too. You two ended up striking conversation; and he sheepishly confessed that he didn't really like the party either, but had to stay because the "friend of a friend" was actually a close friend of his. So you pretty much spent the entire party talking with eachother; and the ideal version you had made up of him in your mind was gone by the time it was over. Not in a bad way. You guys had a lot of things in common after all; and he also had his flaws, just like you. He was no longer the popular mr.perfect guy you thought he was; and it was rather attractive.

You became friends; and your friendship soon blossomed into much more. He was a good boyfriend at the start. Dates, flowers, heartfelt conversations, mutual love and respect. You know, all the very basic factors of any healthy, loving relationship. Within a year into the relationship, though, things began to...change for the worst. He'd grow paranoid whenever you went out with friends without him; he kept pestering you about moving in with him even though you weren't ready for something like that yet.... You had mentioned multiple times in the past that you were skeptical about marriage, kids, all that mambo jambo. Still, he'd often bring up how he wanted to get married and have a family with you. It was kinda sweet, at first. You understood that it came from a place of love; but the affection smothering and how controlling he was slowly becoming grew far too much.

The straw that broke the camel's back? He proposed. On your "a year and a half anniversary" date, he got down on one knee and proposed. You were very taken aback; and the fact he wanted to marry you and start a whole life with you was again very touching in theory, but not so much when all the times you two had this very conversation came in mind. All the times you expressed how you weren't sure and needed more time; and he seemingly understood and accepted that just to pull something like this on your anniversary. You explained your side, yet again, and he wasn't pleased. An argument broke out; and it got bad. By the end, you told him that if what you both wanted didn't match up; this wouldn't work. You tried walking out. Again, he wasn't pleased.

And what did he do? Oh, just smashed a bottle of wine on the back of your head.

It was a miracle you didn't die; but you did pass out. And what followed after was the most hellish year of your life. Your dear boyfriend turned kidnapper basically lied to every single person in your life; saying you had decided to drop out of uni to move in with him and start a family. And because his family was very influential, with many connections, and also because he had such a prestige reputation, no one batted an eye. Your family did, of course; they knew you best. But why would such a kindhearted, hardworking honour student from a good family ever lie?

He spent a year trying to brainwash you into giving in; brainwashing you into giving him the perfect life he wanted, with a stay-at-home partner and children and everything, not allowing you to get out of the apartment or as much as breathe without him supervising. Nevermind that you were screaming your lungs out, begging him to let you go home and reminding him how much of a monster he was despite the gentleman-like façade he'd put not only in front of others, but also in front of you.

Eventually, after many failed attempts, you managed to bust the cameras in his apartment and pick the lock while he was out. You stole just enough money to get you an one way ticket to whatever place was available and also got back your phone; only being able to part with your friends and family via text messages and calls. Going to the police was out of the question. Why? Cause you had tried that in the past; and it didn't end well for you. The police weren't going to help; the only one who could protect you was yourself.

You didn't like thinking about it; the year you had spent in his apartment. Your therapist had advised you to stop living in the past and focus on the present; but it was so hard to try and put all that trauma behind you. Everytime you had to go outside you'd always look over your back; afraid you'd see him again. Afraid he'd somehow find you and make you pay for leaving him before dragging you right back. Sometimes you'd even think you caught glimpse of him across the street; causing you to have a mini panic attack. It was never fun. You hated it. You hated the fact that even though you managed to escape him; it felt like he came along with you.

Nevertheless, you tried to continue living. You met new people at the library, became friends with a sweet old lady from your apartment building, even started writing your very own book as a hobby, which you always wanted! You were doing well for yourself. You were slowly able to pick the pieces that had broken off of you; and you were proud of it. You were proud of managing to wake up everyday, making sure to eat, get to work, go through the work day- and reach the end of said workday. Just like you did today.

Work had ended for today. You said goodbye to your co-workers and began working home; fantasising about crashing onto your couch and staying there for the rest of the evening. It had been quite the tiring day and all you wanted to do was just get home, put on a random TV channel and maybe take a nap. Eventually, you reached your apartment complex. You lived on the first floor; so thankfully you didn't have to climb any stairs. Soon, you were standing right outside your front door. Your hands reached into your shoulder bag and pulled out your house key, inserting it into the keyhole in order to unlock the door.

However, the door was already unlocked.

Your blood immediately went cold; hand still on the key as you stared at the door with wide eyes. There was no way it could be him, right? If he hadn't found you in four years now, what could possibly lead him to you? Your heart began racing; breathing already getting heavy. You were panting, you just realised. You could hear your own heartbeat echo in your ears. Were you on the verge of another panic attack? Closing your eyes tight, you tried to take a deep breath and compose yourself; focusing on your environment instead of your ever growing panic, as your therapist had instructed you to do at moments like this one. The way the handle's metal felt cold against your grip, bird chirping from a nearby window, the sound of the elevator going down; most likely for the old lady you had befriended, as this was the time she'd usually get home from feeding the stray dogs in the neighborhood. She was so sweet.

Let's think rationally: you were far away from Japan, you had changed your name as well as your appearance (as much as you could force yourself to) and you had managed to maintain this quiet life of yours for four whole years. In those four years; you had received no calls or messages from him either, because you of course also had to change your number, email and delete any social media you had just to be sure. All that being said; the door was open when it was not supposed to- and then it hit you; did you actually lock the door this morning? Even though you were extremely paranoid; there had been an instance or two of you forgetting to lock the door before leaving for work, usually when you were feeling extra tired or stressed. Even four years later; sleeping didn't come easy to you. You started having sleep paralysis quite often, but instead of feeling like someone was pushing onto your chest hard, there was the suffocating sensation of his hands wrapped around your waist so tight that you'd think your organs would pop out any second.

Admitting that you're a complete idiot isn't easy; but you'd take it any day over the possibly of him somehow having gotten into your apartment. So, with the mentality of a broke middle aged man taking the risk of one last gamble in order to hit the jackpot, you decided to put your fears aside and push the door forward so you could get home.

Because, guess what? You were so sick of this.

Sick of living in fear, of having panic attacks every other day and jumping like a terrified kitten whenever you see a man who slightly resembles him pass by you. Sick of not being able to close your eyes every night because instead of the back of your eyelids, all you see is each and every time he'd touch you like he owned you.

And now that he didn't 'own you' any longer, your trauma did. And he was technically the personification of your trauma. He still owned you.

Fuck him. Fuck this. All of this. You just wanted to lay down and sleep like a normal person. Talk to your friends like a normal person. Sometimes you'd forget that you were actually that: normal and a person, since he had spent an entire year making you think otherwise. So no; you weren't going to let your fear control you and remain standing outside your apartment after an exhausting work day. You weren't going to deprive yourself of the basic right and necessities everyone else had.

You were now inside the apartment. Your small, cluttered apartment that had only one bedroom; a bathroom that could only fit a shower rather than a bathtub and a living room that was connected to the kitchen, all in the very same space. You immediately took off your shoes, locked the door behind you and hung your shoulder bag on one of the two chairs you had at the kitchen table before basically collapsing onto the couch, not caring to change into something more comfortable just yet. Your clothes weren't all that uncomfortable, actually. You didn't have much energy this morning; so you had worn a more casual, comfy outfit, not putting much thought into it. It was an outfit that you could easily sleep in no problem; which you started to realise when you began feeling yourself already drifting to sleep. Deep inside, you knew that there were other things that probably had priority; like taking a shower or making dinner but....did they really? You could do all that after taking a nap. You hadn't been able to sleep a full eight hours without waking up every hour or so for awhile now anyway. The moment you wake up, you'd get to all those important tasks that were needed for you to continue functioning- but it had been the first time that sleep sought you out rather than you taking sleep medication in weeks, and you weren't going to waste such a rare act of mercy by your system. Within a few minutes, you were out like a light.

“Look at you, all curled up in the couch....Is it that much better than the king sized bed we'd share?”

A voice called out to you. You couldn't make whose voice, however. You were still pretty much out of it; half asleep. You didn't even know what day it was, much less where or who that voice came from.

“Oh, you must be sleepy. These eyebags on your pretty face tell me enough; you haven't slept properly in awhile, hm?” the voice questioned, and you swore you could feel something hot blow against your ear before it spoke again, this time closer. But also ice cold in terms of tone. “Guess what? Neither have I, not without you in my arms.”

Oh. Oh. You knew who this voice belonged to. You might've been still asleep practically; but it was like an alarm had gone off in your head, like some natural instinct telling you a predator was nearby and you shouldn't be sleeping right now. It wasn't the first time you had felt like this, though. You'd have this feeling whenever you'd randomly feel like you're being watched, whenever you'd see an unknown number call you, whenever you were all by yourself. You had grown too used to this feeling. You'd respond to it everytime, jumping up and looking around frantically with yet another panic attack waiting for you just around the corner. This feeling had been ruining every waking moment from your life ever since you managed to free yourself; and this feeling was about to absolutely demolish the amazing nap you've been having so far. The nap that you've been needing for months, week, years now.

Not this time. You knew what was going on. You were most likely about to star in the psychological thriller of a dream every single one of your night terrors were. But you wouldn't play along, again, this time. You didn't budge, even with someone's breath right next to your ear. The only thing you did was turn in your sleep, now facing the back of the couch.

“Poor thing..... I told you all about this, did I not? The outside world is full of stress. It sucks the life out of you, it makes you miserable. Just look at what you got yourself into without me; all alone in some foreign country, working yourself to the bone and living in this cockroach infested, century old apartment.” it continued to whisper condescendingly; dripping with fake sympathy. It was truly a wonder how your brain could remember every single one of his patterns in the way he spoke and put you down. His words, despite being absolutely just part of your nightmare, didn't fail to make your heart swell up with the feeling of inferiority and uselessness.

But a second later you couldn't feel his breath on your skin any longer; and you assumed this nightmare was going to progress further differently or you'd just wake up.

“You see, when I came home that day and couldn't find you anywhere I went through such a rollercoaster of emotions,” Ah. Seems like the fact nightmare him had pulled away didn't stop his voice from going on and on. Wonderful. “I was devastated and panicked and frantic- I looked everywhere for you. But I think that the main emotion that has been stirring me for the past four years is anger.” It breathed out, “At first it was all directed at you. The fact that you just left me like that after everything I did for you, all the love I showed you... Did you think that whenever I'd tell you how I couldn't breathe without you near me, I was just trying to be romantic?” scoffed his voice. “I haven't been breathing, actually. It doesn't feel like breathing anymore. It feels like something hallow and bitter comes out of me; like pitch black smoke. You poisoned me the day you left.”

Of course the blame's on you. It always was, no matter what would happen between you two. When he'd cuff you to the bed to the point that you'd almost lose circulation in both wrists, it was your fault for staring at the front door for too long. When he'd shove food down your throat, since declining food was the only form of protest you could pull off sometimes, it was your fault for not wanting to be fed by your kidnapper.

“But I forgive you,”

How generous of him.

“I forgive you because you're the only person who's ever loved me. And the only person I've ever managed to love. You might've poisoned me, my love, but you're also the only antidote.”

You couldn't deny, that even if it was just another stupid nightmare, it brought shivers down your spine. This wasn't the first time you had seen him in your sleep, but this was the first time your mind had crafted such an accurate depiction of him and that was much scarier than the more violent nightmares you've been having. You wanted to rest so bad; but it wasn't worth going through this. And you were feeling a little hungry anyway. Sure, you wouldn't be able to nap again for like a week, but it was a necessary sacrifice if it meant not having to listen to his voice playing over and over again in your head like a broken record.

Instinctively, you turned around to sit up, but before you could get to the sitting up part you felt a hand cup your cheek and your body went frozen on impact, not daring to move a muscle. A very familiar cologne then reached your nostrils; and you were one hundred percent sure of whose cologne it was. Just like how you were one hundred percent sure about who the voice that had been tormenting you for these past few minutes belonged to. You knew it was him; but you tricked yourself into believing that it was just a nightmare. But it had to be a nightmare, right? How could he possibly find you after four years- how could he possibly know you fled to London? You had envisioned this very scenario in your head countless times on restless nights, thinking of every possibility and every single detail so you'd be ready if it ever were to happen; but now you remained stuck in the face of danger.

You didn't want to open your eyes; but you were trembling. He could tell you were awake. And you could tell that he could tell; as you could've sworn you heard his lips forming into a twisted smirk. With his right left hand still cupping your cheek; he leaned closer again and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised were forming in your eyes before starting to rub supposedly soothing circles into your back. “Aw....there's no need to cry, everything will be fine now that we'll be together again. I might've been angry at you for leaving; but now I'm more angry at myself. Angry that I couldn't keep you with me. This time, things will be different.”

His hand finally left your back, and even though your eyes were still shut; you heard his footsteps. He had went to get something, and without a second thought, you stood up; only for him to quickly push you back to the couch. That's when your eyes opened and finally met his own, four years later. But your eyes didn't focus on his facial features. They didn't care to observe whether he had changed or not, the way he looked at you; or if he too had the very same sagging eyebags as you did. All your eyes saw was a monster. A terrifying creature made of all your fear, anxiety- a sight that brought you terror and a nausea inducing sensation in your stomach. What you were looking at didn't feel human, this situation didn't feel real, the line between nightmare and reality had been blurred. There had been instances in the past where you'd pity him somewhat; reminding yourself that he was too a person and the reason he was this way was because he had been damaged from a very young age, gone through terrible things that molded him into what he is today. He had told you all about it himself.

But right now; all you saw before you was a boogieman. And like the scared child you always had been deep inside; you could do nothing but let out a blood curling scream.

“Sssh! Quiet-” He hushed you, forcibly putting his hand over your mouth, “...Still a screamer. Some things never change. Adorable.” he chuckled, in such a disgustingly lovey-dovey way. It felt like he was being genuine; like he truly does find it cute. As if there truly was some absurd form of love behind his words. And honestly? It made them all the more repulsive. It made you want to gag; but gagging wouldn't help, so you did the next best thing. You bit down on his hand as hard as your teeth allowed you and he hissed in pain; but didn't pull away. In fact, he backed you even further into the couch, seemingly searching for something in his pocket with the hand you weren't currently sinking your teeth into. When he found it; he plunged it into your neck with zero hesitation.

For a second, you thought it was a knife. His own way of making sure you'd never leave him, you reckoned, because how could you ever attempt to run from him if you were dead? He had always been a narcissist after all, something you realised a little too late into your relationship back when you guys were still in one. You wouldn't put the possibility of him wanting to be the very last thing you see before you die above him. The satisfaction of knowing you died in his arms; and that you'd never speak to anyone else ever again (including him, but you doubted he cared anymore), as your vocal cords wouldn't be able to work as a decaying corpse; with no beating heart to pump blood into you.

Until he took the unknown object out of your neck; bringing it into your viewpoint. It wasn't a pocket knife or scissors or anything like that. It was a syringe. A syringe that was definitely filled with something which is currently entering your bloodstream. And you knew what that something was; because you remembered him doing the very same thing multiple times before in your sole year of captivity, whenever you'd fight him for far too long and his patience would run thin.

A syringe pumped with drugs to put you to sleep; as well as keep you all docile and rag-doll-ish for a couple of hours.

“It's okay. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. It's just a nightmare, shh.....” He murmured; removing his wounded hand from your mouth and pressing a light kiss on your half-open lips. You didn't know whether his words were mockery or a genuine attempt at comforting you; but neither would make you hate him any more or less.

Still, in that moment, you chose to believe him. You chose to believe that this was truly all a nightmare; you'd wake up at your couch, go make some food, watch some TV and continue your quiet life. It was definitely better than accepting it was about to become a living nightmare all over again.

___________________________________

Thank you for reading!! Feel free to ask me whatever you want or give me feedback on my writing, I'm open to all feedback cause I do genuinely wanna get better <3 Have a great day/night 🩷🩷

Word Count: 4,219 (I think!!)

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Chapter 1

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Discussion of murder and physical abuse. Let me know if I missed any!

Prologue -- Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Jake made sure to put on a suit he knew was "nice enough" for the meeting. Clay would be going with him, helping him secure the deal he needed to keep Sarah and Jadah, his real family, safe, never to be messed with again. The rest of the Losers were keeping an eye on them to make sure his parents didn't try anything while negotiating. Aisha and Cougar were some of the best fighters he knew and Pooch could easily drive his family to a secure area.

"So why did you think you needed to get your sister out of the marriage," Clay asked. "I get your parents are pieces of shit, but wouldn't a marriage get her away from them?"

"Nope," Jake shook his head as he drove. "Not only would it further embed them into her life, the guy she was engaged to was a monster. I did a deep dive on him when the engagement was announced. He had a bunch of arrests for domestic disturbance, but his parents, his lawyers, got him out and always settled out of court. Apparently his parents figured marriage would help him calm down. I tried to call bullshit, got shut down, and took action."

Clay nodded, silently filing away the information, before continuing. "And you're now going to marry his sister?"

"Yup."

"What do you know about her?"

"Very little," Jake confesses. "Graduated with a Master's in Ecology with a focus on Conservation Studies. Doesn't seemed to have used it so either her family refuses to let her do anything or she just wanted to waste her parents' money, or something else."

"Going for a Master's doesn't indicate an interest in wasting money," Clay pointed out.

"Agreed, but I've got so little information on her I'm inclined to just go ahead and think the worst."

"Are you expecting to meet her when we get there?"

"Negotiations with the parents first," Jake tells him. "If that goes well, then...yeah, it'll probably be a family dinner or something."

"Alright, lets get to it, then."

"Jacob!" Cordelia, Jake's mother, was using her fake happy tone as she held out her arms for a hug. He purposefully avoids the hug and goes for a handshake instead.

"Don't be rude, son," William chides. Jake holds back from glaring at his father and focuses on maintaining his composure.

"Let's just get to business," Clay offers while taking a seat at William's desk.

"And who are you?" William raises an eyebrow at Clay.

"For all intents and purposes, I'm your son's advocate here to make sure he gets what he wants outta this deal. And that it gets put into writing and notarized."

"And what is it that you want, Jacob?" Cordelia's tone was now icy. "We're setting you up with a wife from a good, rich family. You should be grateful to us for that after nearly destroying our future."

"I want a written, notarized guarantee that, so long as I am married to this woman, Sarah and her family will be left alone. You will not look for them. You will not include them in your machinations. They will never have to worry about you or your people bothering them ever again."

"I'm sure we can work something out," William nods. "Good thing I've already got my lawyer here to go over the marriage documents."

The next several hours are spent with Clay and the family lawyer going back and forth over the wording of the official document. Jake is increasingly grateful that he brought in Clay for this part. He's a quick thinker but Clay is a tactician. He can see the loopholes, the workarounds that Jake can't. His parents attempt to engage him in conversation but Clay had advised Jake to keep quiet during the negotiations so he did. Occasionally texting the team with updates.

Finally, Clay and the lawyer shook hands. The deal is typed up and printed. Jake, his parents, Clay and the lawyer all sign. The notary had arrived an hour before, called by William. They looked everything over and added their stamp to the documents.

Jake took the contract, put it in an envelope and gave it to Clay before turning to his parents. "Okay, let's go meet my future wife."

Prologue -- Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness;@ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @ronearoundblindly

[teacupballerina]

PPG headcanons/plotbunnies townie and villain edition (non-crossover)

Mr. Green and Ms. Keane live in the same apartment complex. They meet after Keane's breakup in "Keen on Keane" when Green notices that Keane seems upset at the mail center. They start talking and--what a coincidence they both love kids!! A few episodes later Ms. Keane catches a nasty illness from amoeba-tainted oranges after "Divide and Conquer" and the only person she trusts to watch over her beloved class in "Substitute Creature" is Mr. Green. A few years later they get married and have halflings who help the new generation in Townsville stomach monster integration.

Robin's parents divorce not long after Super Friends and she blames herself because they are verbally abusive. They have split custody so Robin is only the Utoniums' neighbor every other week. She has an emo phase in middle school and cuts her hair short. Inspiration: the couple her parents were based on divorced IRL and she knows she's "an accident".

Following from previous, in high school Bubbles and Robin become girlfriends, Bubbles is the one who confesses first.

Buttercup taught Ace how to play bass during some never-made episode where the girls teach them to play instruments as part of a rehabilitation effort after Aspirations. ("If you want to meet girls, why don't you guys start a band?") The gang goes on to form a ska band with Snake on guitar, Ace on bass, Billy on drums, Arturo on trumpet (which he already knew how to play somehow) and Grubber on mic. They eventually split when Ace gets the call from Gorillaz.

Sedusa is Ms. Keane's elder sister. This is the reason Ms. Keane is more sympathetic to monsters and mutants. She doesn't have a lot of time between grading homework to keep up with supervillain activity, so she doesn't know half of what Sedusa has done. At some point they meet again and catch up, Sedusa goes low profile after "Aspirations" and leans more into civilian life. The girls don't find out the relation until after leaving Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, at Ms. Keane's wedding to Mr. Green.

Bubbles stays in touch with Wuzzy after "Roughin' It Up" and learns more about the forest and the Lumpkins clan from him. She even dates Wuzzy for a while and has a farmgirl phase, buying vegan leather cowboy boots that she wears into adulthood. This all helps her connect with and befriend Fuzzy himself, who learns to be more accepting through her. LOOK HOW CUTE THO:

Mojo Jojo ages very slowly due to his Chemical X mutation. His specific fixation on Blossom culminates in his focus shifting to either converting or dating her rather than destroying her (something he comes to understand as impossible). Even he doesn't know what he wants and has a lot of anguish over how he feels about her. Blossom's willing to be friends if he stops busting the city up, but she's never telling him that.

The Rowdyruff boys grow into manchildren and start "The Ruffcast", a manosphere podcast/youtube where they do nothing but play videogames, pump iron and complain about the Powerpuff Girls being too smart, too fat, and not feminine enough. Mitch Mitchelson gets roped in as the camera guy and occasional participant, which makes Buttercup dump him.

Princess Morbucks goes from wanting to be a Powerpuff Girl to just wanting to be a team leader. She recruits/buys her own team of girls to suit up and boss around, and this becomes a high-turnover job position for desperate people. Every other time the girls meet Princess, her lackeys are different. Daddy eventually disowns her not for being a villain but for being a tabloid magnet in college, forcing her to start over with nothing. One last ditch effort leads her to public records, and searching for any extended family to appeal to, she discovers her birth mother is Sara Bellum [A lesbian who used to be Morbucks' secretary--she loves Mayor because he's a harmless decent man who helped her escape that situation by hiring her]. Bellum takes her in, reluctantly, but she is totally immune to manipulation and sets her straight.

Ms. Bellum eventually runs for Mayor of Townsville and wins. Mayor Mayor retires to Pokey Oaks senior center. The girls visit him often and occasionally consult him for info about Townsville's history if needed--it's much easier for him to remember things from a long time ago, he's not so good with the day-to-day stuff. Bubbles volunteers there with Bullet, who opens Mayor's pickle jars when the nurses can't.

Harry Pitt running gag: Getting referenced as being in juvie and then prison, but it's never stated what he did. We know what he's in for, but the other characters never say.

[mrfartpowered]

Divorced Mort Theory

Despite its name, this is less of a theory and more of a thoroughly-developed headcanon 😭 Another banger mostly from the mind of @cunningweiner, transcribed by me LOL

It begins with a question: where in the world is Mrs. Weinerman?

She is mentioned a whopping ten (10) times over the course of the entire series, and one of those times is only an implied mention. You can argue Heidi’s nightmare in McFear Factor serves as her canon appearance, but Lize and I think that’s just a punchline. We don’t acknowledge it as an official Mrs. Weinerman design lol.

Most of the Mrs. Weinerman mentions are inconsequential. Usually, they are passing comments stating Weinerman family rules: Howard isn’t allowed to do something, Heidi has to let Howard join her on air, the two of them need to share lunch money. But there are a few mentions on which this theory hinges.

Mort-al Combat writes Heidi out of the episode by mentioning that she’s out with her mother on a trip. Yes, it’s perfectly normal for one sibling to take a trip with one parent, and for all family members to be on good terms with each other. But it is also very common for children with divorced parents, typically kids Howard and Heidi’s ages, to choose to spend more time with one parent than the other.

This interpretation is supported by Howard’s clinical-ass business-like relationship with Mrs. Weinerman. In MMMy Bologna, he mentions her singing lullabies to him when he was a baby. Other than that, of the six precious times Howard himself mentions her, THREE of them are about money. He uses her credit card, he receives lunch money from her…and also there’s that one bit about Howard buying expensive hand cream BUT THAT STILL PROVES MY POINT!! Anyway — last but not least, he complains that both Mort and Mrs. Weinerman got him socks for Hanukkah. Sure, parents don’t always shop for gifts for their kids together. But Howard’s phrasing leads me to believe that these socks were given as separate gifts, rather than, like, many socks given jointly by his parents.

I also want to point out that, in Ball’s Well Part 2 when the doorbell rings, he calls for Mort, then Heidi, before just answering the door himself. Mrs. Weinerman either works odd hours, or doesn’t live with Mort, and you know what I’m choosing to believe!

Now, because that’s the most material I can work off, that’s the only evidence I have. Find headcanons below :33

Mort and the former Mrs. Weinerman married young, had kids shortly after, and divorced not long before the series’ beginning

Mort did not take the divorce well…but he also wasn’t doing too hot while he was married, so 🤷‍♀️

Howard gets his temperament from his mother: impulsive, hot-headed, and self-serving. They also look very similar in the face, and Heidi points it out whenever he makes certain facial expressions, which bothers Howard a lot

Much like Howard and Mort in the series, Mort often played doormat to his then-wife’s demands. I wouldn’t say she was a nagging woman, nor an abusive wife, she was just… not well suited to a guy like Mort. He needs someone bold, yes, but understanding — and like Howard, I think Mrs. W struggles with empathy

During the divorce process, Howard asked for Mort to have full custody. He and his mother are so similar that they butted heads frequently and loudly, affecting the entire household. Mort ended up with full physical custody, sharing legal custody with the former Mrs. W.

Though Howard would rather die than properly express it, he was so relieved when he learned he wouldn’t have to live with his mom. He may not respect Mort…at all…but he’s 15, for crying out loud, he’ll learn. That’s his dad, yeah he’s a pushover, but I think on some level Howard knows his dad tries. Theirs is a tense love, but a love nonetheless

Howard’s relationship with his mother is hanging on by a thread. Neither of them have a desire to get to know the other — because Howard is a petty kid whose empathy is still developing, and because Mrs. W is childish and quick to anger.

Heidi doesn’t necessarily get along with her mother, either, but they’re different enough to have a decent relationship, and Heidi feels obligated to her. “She’s my mom, I’ve gotta love her” type beat.

Mort has very complicated feelings about his ex-wife. She’s the mother of his children, but yes, he recognizes that she didn’t treat him very well. He appreciates his daughter trying to maintain a relationship with her. He’s not sure how to feel about Howard. I think maybe he recognizes that she didn’t treat Howard very well, either. It makes him sad but he knows it’s for the better

Mort is honestly kind of terrified that Howard chose him. There’s a part of him that didn’t expect it. There’s a bigger part of him that doesn’t think he can handle it. He wants so, so badly to live up to Howard’s choice, and that’s why he lets Howard walk all over him.

They both have a lot of learning to do before they can have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but I like to believe yes, with time, they figure it out.

[b0rtney]

you want homosexuals in every conceivable scenario?

Boy oh boy do i have the substack for u: mine!

NO PLEASE LEMME TELL U THE STORIES BEFORE U LEAVE--

Current is Cinnamon Muffins. TLDR: Six queer boys in a homophobic tiny town in Iowa are trying to survive winter break dodging awful parents, social stigma, and mental health crises.

Next up is How to Get Away with Marriage. TLDR: Guy with awful, religious parents marries guy who is living paycheck to paycheck so they can both get all their younger sisters out of their shitty situations (but they fall in love ofc).

Longer desc of these plus the stories coming in the next months are below the cut! (Genres include fantasy, sci-fi, dystopian, mystery/thriller, coming-of-age)

Cinnamon Muffins centers on Taylor Macready, a homeless senior in high school holed up in a sleeping bag under a bridge after his parents kicked him out. He's fully ready to just accept death when it starts snowing on him while he's stargazing, but social outcast Wes Post is taking his nightly walk in a new direction and stumbles (literally) on his longtime crush, Taylor. Dragging Taylor home, Wes's parents prove themselves the only reasonable parents in this book by setting Taylor up on their pullout couch and nursing him back to health. Then Wes, whose closest school relationships include the kids who bully him for his anxiety-related speech impediment, has to get in touch with Taylor's friends to let them know the situation. Meanwhile, the mean girls of Swisher High School are starting a campaign to get homosexuality banned at school. Administratively, it gets nowhere, but it inspires several small-minded shitwads to take matters into their own hands. While Taylor is used to getting into fights, Wes isn't, but he'll have to sink or swim, because the teachers are not paid enough to care what happens in the hallways during lunchtime.

How to Get Away with Marriage opens with Luke Providence, son of a devoutly Baptist family in Nebraska, proposing to Patrick Demden, son of a recently-deceased alcoholic mechanic. The wealthy Providence parents have a longstanding agreement that once their children get married, they will receive a trust of $100,000 to use on the down-payment of a house and to start a life with their spouse. Patrick's younger sister tutors Luke's younger sister, but Patrick's sister is 16. This age gap doesn't matter much to the Providence parents, but it matters a lot to Luke, so he strikes a deal with Patrick: tell the parents he'll marry the sister, legally marry the brother, everyone gets to move to Colorado and escape abusive religious parents and crushing poverty. He needn't have done something so elaborate, Patrick would have married him for any reason at all. But the secret doesn't stay secret forever, and the Providence parents eventually come knocking, trying to recollect their children and their money.

Future stories I'll keep shorter, but feel free to ask about them either in the replies or my askbox and I'll elaborate!

Assassin x Demon King will be getting books 2 and 3! ADK is about an assassin and the king he was supposed to kill, both of whom have quit their jobs and started trying to save as many people as the assassin killed before he dies of a slow-acting poison in twelve months. Books 2 and 3 will have things getting awfully tragic and somewhat more horny than before! (No smut will make it into the print versions of these, that will remain on my substack alone)

How to Find Your Friends After the End of the World is a fantasy inspired by the isekai anime genre. Five friends in their 20s are on earth as it is wracked by a violent battle between the Heroine of the Gods and her Nemesis, and then, suddenly, they aren't. Earth has been destroyed and they are now on a new planet, in new (non-human) bodies, strewn across continents! On their new wrists, they have tattoos with each others' names, plus one (or two) new ones: their soulmates. Court politics and wastelands of monsters await them as they try desperately to reach each other, and their soulmates try desperately to reach them.

HtFYF will also have a prequel, focusing on the events that led to earth's destruction, and the battle between the Heroine of the Gods, a young woman, and her Nemesis, who seems to know more about the gods than she says. Why do the gods keep choosing such young heroes? What has the Nemesis done to put the world in such peril? Will the Heroine get to graduate on time despite the sleep she's been missing!?

The following do not yet have titles, but are fully fleshed out works ready to be thrown onto Substack:

A trilogy of eleven teens assisting in the fight against an agency that traffics, tortures, and then sells children with preternatural powers and abilities, and an exploration of the trauma those kids emerge with.

A murder mystery where a woman's sister dies, the police rule it suicide, and the woman enlists the help of a rumored contract killer to help her solve the murder-- but why does this rumored murderer-for-hire seem to know so much about her sister's death? And who was truly responsible?

A campy novel about a woman who graduates college, goes back to her hometown, and finds her highschool crush is still there, still single, and has since come out as gay. Of course, the only solution is to co-adopt an at-risk child from a neighbor.

This post will remain pinned on my profile, but for the next few days I'm having a sale on my substack tiers-- 20% off! That makes the cost to you just $8 per month to get a chapter every other day. 15 chapters for $8; that's a steal!

[aanoia]

Ok ok so reader is a pureblood and you and Sirius are to get married, so your family gets invited to dinner at the Black’s to celebrate but then the reader sees Walburga treat Sirius badly and decides to prank her (up to you if she gets caught afterwards)

okay I LOVED this idea so much so I hope i did it justice. Thank you for requesting! Keep em coming bae, keep em coming. I also realized that youu might have wanted it to be consensual marriage like they're in love and stuff and it's not an arranged marriage so I'm sorry if that's what you meant. If you want it that way just request again and I'll rewrite it for you!

Horribly Right

Sirius Black x reader Summary; after seeing Sirius being slapped by his mother, you decide to pull a prank that's outcome goes horribly... right? Words; 2,000+ Warnings: abuse, getting disowned If you or someone you know are expiriencing domestic abuse please do not stay silent. Contact someone you trust, the local police, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233, for America, I'm unsure about other countries). If anyone is expiriencing trauma from abuse or anything else my DMs are ALWAYS open, I care about you guys a lot and dont want you to suffer in silence. You deserve to feel okay. On a more serious note PLEASE REQUEST THINGS I LOVE BRINGING YOUR IDEAS TO LIFEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! also im on vacation so it might take a bit but pls I'll do them and not proofread bc i have too many sunburns (thats a logical excuse)

“And you will behave. Do you understand?” My dad finished his lecture and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“I understand.” I mumbled.

He roughly grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, “What was that?”

“I understand, sir.”

He let go and straightened out his jacket with a deep breath, before lifting his hand and knocking on the door of the Black manor. The door opened and I looked down and smiled slightly at the sight of a house elf. He glared at us and opened the door farther so we could walk in.

“Thank you.” I said quietly as I passed by and he looked taken aback, but he shook his head and ignored me.

“Kreacher! You ugly thing, who is it? Who’s at the door?” Mr. Black asked as he walked into the hallway. “Ah, the L/n’s.” He motioned for us to follow him down the hallway and we did. I looked over as we passed a room, muffled voices spoke quickly.

“Do not mind that. My wife is simply making sure our son is ready for your daughter.” As if on cue the door opened and out walked Walburga and her son, Sirius Black.

“Ah, m/n, how lovely to see you.” Walburga said with a fake smile, my mother nodded, holding back a grimace at the woman she hates so dearly.

“Walburga. Pleasure.” She said shortly. “Sirius, you’re a handsome young man. Perfect for my daughter.” Sirius nodded, not looking up from the ground. Walburga sneakily hit his hand, hoping my family wouldn’t notice. I did.

He looked up with a forced smile, “Thank you, ma’am.” He glanced at me. “Y/n, you look lovely tonight.” Walburga smiled smugly at her son.

I smiled at him, “Thank you, Sirius. You look rather fine, yourself.” 

“Shall we sit down to eat?” Mr. Black asked and we all nodded.

“Regulus, sweetie, it’s dinner time!” Walburga called up and almost instantly quick footsteps were heard coming down the stairs. 

Regulus smiled at me once he saw me and I gave him a nod, returning his smile. We were always friends at Hogwarts, both being in Slytherin. Sirius and I, however, weren’t. If you asked anyone else, we hated each other. If you asked one of us… we still hated each other. 

We sat at the table, my parents on either side of me and Sirius directly across from me. I flashed him a smile and he gave a small one back. Neither of us wanted this and it was obvious.

“So, I was thinking they should be married right after school ends. Until then, they should be courting each other.” Mr. Black said. 

“Courting each other? Wha-”

“Sirius.” Walburga cut him off, sending him a glare and he looked down at his plate angrily. The adults continued talking about the marriage and what it would be like until then and the kids stayed silent. Only nodding and agreeing when asked a question. 

I cleared my throat and took the napkin off my lap, gently placing it on the table and standing up. Everyone looked at me and I put on a pleasant smile, “I apologize, but may I use the restroom?” 

“Of course.” Walburga said. “It’s just down that hall and to the left.” I nodded with a smile and walked to the bathroom. 

Once the door closed my smile dropped and I sighed, looking in the mirror. I turned on the sink and splashed some water on my face, trying to pause the pressure that was building behind my eyes. This can’t be my life. I can’t be forced into a marriage with someone I don’t love. I dried off my face and smiled at myself in the mirror, before flushing the toilet, despite it not being used, and turning the water back on, pretending to wash my hands. 

I stepped out of the restroom quietly, and began walking back to the table before once again hearing muffled voices, or rather this time, just one. Walburga. I looked back to where the dining room was, silently contemplating whether or not to follow Walburga’s voice or go sit down. It was when she said Sirius’ name and a loud smack sounded out that I decided to find them.

I walked down the hallway slowly, careful not to make any noise. I peaked my head around a corner and immediately retracted it. 

“I told you to behave, Sirius, why can’t you listen?” I looked back in time to see her slap him again. “You are a disgrace. Let this dinner go well. I demand it, Sirius.” He looked down at the ground and nodded.

 I quickly walked back to the table and smiled as I sat down at my seat. Walburga and Sirius came after me and sat down. I didn’t fail to notice the glassy look in Sirius’ eyes, and the red handprint forming on his cheek, obviously being covered up by a spell that wasn’t performed correctly.

“I believe it’s time for desert, yes?” Walburga asked, picking up her and her husbands plate.

“Yes, let  me help you, Mrs. Black.” I offered with a smile and she nodded. We picked up the plates as I passed Sirius I placed a small kiss on his cheek. Partly for our parents, but mostly so he knew I was there for him. And of course so I could silently perform a good healing spell, and the red mark slowly turning into a bruise disappeared off his face. Judging by the way he looked at me, he knew what I just did and looked at me thankfully.

I followed Walburga and placed the dishes in the sink. There was an apple pie and a cake sitting on the table. 

“I believe everyone wants cake. I’d like the pie. You?” Walburga asked.

“I’d like some pie as well. I’ll cut us two pieces and you ready the cake.” She nodded and quickly cut the cake as I took my time cutting the pie. 

When she left the kitchen to deliver the first rounds of cake, I quickly took out my wand. I muttered a spell onto her pie and tucked my wand away again, putting a smile back on my face and bringing out the pie. I set her piece in front of her seat and sat down with mine just as she brought out the last two pieces of cake.

“It looks amazing, mum.” Regulus said and she smiled at her youngest son. 

We all began eating at I glanced at Walburga frequently as she ate her pie. My eyes met Sirius’ as he looked at me in question, noticing my glances. I smiled and winked at him. He returned it with a suspicious smile, his eyes squinting at me. 

“Oh my, Walburga!” My mother said, her hand going to her heart. I refrained from laughing as I looked at Walburga whos skin was now green and full of warts.

She gasped as she saw her hand and turned around at the small mirror that sat on the wall. Tears filled her eyes as she turned around horrified.

“What did you put in the pie?” Mr. Black asked, utterly disgusted at his wife's state.

“Nothing I- I didn’t do anything different! I don’t kno-” She locked eyes with me, noticing my perfectly normal state, despite eating the same pie as her. She pointed a green finger at me. “You.” She ran around the table and everyone stood as I sped to the other side. A hand grabbed mine and pulled me down the hallway and out the front door. Walburga and my father followed behind us. Sirius and I ran out into the street, laughing our asses off as our hands stayed intertwined.

“Sirius Black! Get back here!” His mother screamed.

I looked behind us to see my father seething and holding up his fist. My step faltered. Zero strikes left. My mind went back to when the striked were first introduced.

My father roughly grabbed my wrist.

“Ow, stop it, you’re hurting me!” Twelve year old me said, trying to pull my wrist free. 

He turned around angrily and kneeled down to meet my eyes, “I do no care, you fucking idiot. I don’t understand why you can’t just behave. So, here’s what we're gonna do, you have three strikes left. Everytime you fuck up you lose a strike and once you hit zero you’re done. You’re out of my house and you can fend for yourself. Do you understand?”'

Tears dripped down my cheeks as I nodded, my wrist burning from the pressure. “Y-yes sir.”

I ignored it. I’ll deal with it later. After we were off the street of his family's house we slowed down, breathless.

“You are brilliant.” Sirius said as we walked quietly. I had no clue where but Sirius had somewhere in mind. 

I shrugged with an uneasy smile, “What can I say? I’m talented.”

He looked at me, his smile slowly falling, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

I sighed, “Nothing. I’m fine.”

He snorted, “No you aren’t. What? Scared you’re gonna get disowned.” I winced and he paused. “Wait, Y/n, are you actually scared they’re gonna disown you?”

“I don’t have to be scared because they already have.”

“What?”

I explained the strikes to him and he looked at me in sadness.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. You shouldn’t have pranked her, I was okay.”

We started walking again as I spoke, “No, it’s okay. She deserved it. She shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“I feel bad.”

I nudged his arm with a smile, “Don’t be. My parents sucked anyway. Now, where are we going?”

He stopped and turned to a large house, “Here.”

“And what is this place?” I asked as we walked to the door.

He smirked at me and opened the door, “You’ll see.” 

I walked in hesitantly and was immediately met with warmth and a sweet smell. It was the exact opposite of Sirius’ house. Little footsteps paddered down the stairs and a little girl came into view, smiling wide despite her two front teeth being missing.

“Siri!” She ran to him and jumped into his arms. He spun her around in a hug before she pulled her head aay, still sitting in his arms. “Look! I lost my other toof!” She pulled her lip up and Sirius smiled.

“I can see that. How much did the tooth fairy give you?”

“I got a whole galleon this time!”

Sirius’ eyes widened, “Woah, girl, you’re rich now!”

She nodded and looked to me as more footsteps came down the stairs.

“Hello, what’s your name? I’m Ella!”

I waved at her, “Hi Ella, I’m-”

“Y/n?” A new voice asked and I looked up from the little girl. 

My eyes widened, “James, why am I not surprised this is where Sirius brings me.”

“Ah, James, where are your parents? I need to talk to them.”

“In the living room, I think. Why-”

Sirius handed James Ella, “Perfect. I’ll be back.” He placed a kiss on my cheek, returning the one I gave him earlier and walked off. 

“What is going on?” James asked me and I shrugged.

“I was at dinner with his family, pranked his mom-”

“You pranked Walburga? And survived?”

“If you would let me finish. Yes, I did survive, and then we ran off.”

He nodded in approval, “I support.”

“Thank you.” I smiled at him.

“You’re very pretty.” Ella said to me with a smile, her eyes twinkling.

“Why thank you, Ella. You are as well. In fact, I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t you agree James?” He nodded and looked at his little sister with a grin.

“The prettiest.” He agreed and tickled her stomach. She laughed and buried her head in the crook of his neck and Sirius came back, James’ parents following behind him.

His mom smiled at me and grabbed my hand, “Hello sweetie, my name is Euphemia. Sirius told us what happened.”

I looked at Sirius as James’ dad began to speak, “You’ll stay with us, no arguing.” He said warmly.

“What?” James and I asked at the same time.

“What happened? Why is she staying with us?” James asked.

“James.” His mother scolded.

“No I-I don’t care, but just why? She has her own family.”

“I was disowned, James.” He looked at me with sadness.

“I’m sorry.”

I waved him off, “Don’t be. But I can’t stay here.”

“I said no arguing. We have an extra room upstairs.” His dad said.

“Are you gonna be my new sister?” Ella asked and I looked to James’ parents. They nodded and I sighed, smiling at the little girl as James set her down.

“Yeah, I guess I kinda will be your new sister.””

“Yay!” She grabbed my hand. “Come on, let me show you my room and you can meet my dolls!” She looked up to Sirius. “Dolly wants to see you again, Siri. You can come too, James.”

The four of us walked up the stairs and I flashed a final smile at James’ parents before we got to the top.

“Hey, El, you takes James in and get your dolls ready, I need to speak to Y/n for a moment. Alright?” Sirius asked, grabbing my hand.

She nodded, “Alright, come on Jamesie.” She tugged him into her room and I turned to Sirius.

“Thank you.” I said.

He shrugged, “It’s nothing. I figured this was the best place for you to be. James’ family is amazing.”

I nodded, “They are. 

Sirius sighed, “Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I like you. I have for a while. I just thought you should know.”

I smiled, “Like, like or like like?”

He laughed through his nose, a small pink tint littering his cheeks, “Like, like like.”

“I like like you as well, Sirius.”

“Would you maybe-” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Would you let me take you out on a date sometime?”

I giggled and kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger for a second, “Of course.”

Baby tag list (if you want to be in the tag list just comment!): @1lellykins

[lifenconcepts]

Horrid Henry headcannons  (the show one, there is a distinction) (not going into the basics of him being abused or whatever)

Undiagnosed adhd.

Has issues with falling asleep and/or staying asleep.

Has probably gotten in trouble for doodling rude characatures of his teachers and people he dislikes.

Definetely snuck out a few times at night.

Love language is quality time.

Loves to get a rise out of others by pretending to like things that people find disgusting (like pineapple pizza) but in reality doesn’t like them either.

Loved to cover and uncover his ears quickly in a school cafeteria to get that funny audio noise.

Wears long clothes practically religiously to avoid being perceived.

Probably daydreamed of tons of things he wanted but into his adolescence wanted a car to “get away forever” or atleast travel out of home often.

Had a time period where he listened to the group “The Smiths”.

Loves the musical group Mindless Self Indulgence.

Is deep in denial about having self confidence issues, and tries to pull off the idea he has a god complex.

Had a burner phone he got tons of songs on and whenever limited in tv or other things can always rely to have the phone (since his parents don’t know about it).

Likes to collect CDs and loves to go to flea markets or thrift shops for cheap ones, for a few from finding them near trash bins.

Loves the night but is too wimpish to actually go out alone unless it’s to Ralph’s.

Hates anything touching his neck (clothing tags, long necks/collars, necklaces).

Has likely grown out a mullet at least once in his life.

Likes to dance unless it’s for someone or something.

Has been left home alone multiple times and learnt to deal with it well.

Neglectful when it comes to keeping relationships as he doesn’t really know how to show attention or love to ‘em.

Loves 80s synth pop.

Touch repulsed and yet touch starved, has probably cried from receiving a genuine hug (likely from Ralph)

Liked to hum or whistle tunes and often gets told off for it.

Has probably broken dozens of chairs before, accidentally.

Is the guy to volunteer eagerly when the teacher calls for a “strong boy” to help stack plastic chairs.

When riding a bike loves to speed up until his legs ache and then fail to stop in time and crash into bushes.

Likely gets into antics which result with him getting dozens of bruises or scratches.

Has probably bitten people before.

Would laugh at queers before realising he is one himself.

Secretly wants to put make-up on himself like how some rock bands do but doesn’t want to be seen in it as it could make others think he’s girly.

Parents don’t believe him when he cries and so he gets sent to his room when he actually needs some comfort and cries himself to sleep while hugging Mr. kill or a pillow, has gotten a conditioned response of fleeing the scene of feeling genuinely threatened, but can stand up to himself.

Confident in his abilities and at the same time thinks he’s the worst person to ever exist in them.

Likes to lick his own blood or pick his own scabs.

Likely aromantic (I get his distaste to getting married is just a kid thing but I like to believe otherwise). Also take the episode “horrid Henry looks at love”.

Liked to chase cats or other small animals but wouldn’t hurt them for real, maybe just aggressively pet them but not anything more.

Prolly listened to Radiohead.

Likely has a small collection of different scrap bits and pieces from toys and other objects he found outside, from random bolts to lost keys from unknown locks, to even shards of metal from a broken bus.

Has probably slept across two seats on some sort of family gathering.

Probably would be into kandi beads and loom bands.

Liked black and red checkerboard patterns.

Probably would wear goth/punk clothes into his adolescence years. From depictions of skeletons and bones to spikey collars and leather jackets.

Pierced his own ears.

Tried to at some point control the universe or atleast take over the world.

Has stuck a fork into an outlet before.

Online likes to pretend to be a real life vampire or werewolf and has told people that he lives in an old castle.

Sweet tooth!

In school liked arts and crafts and often made makeshift creatures or robots.

Would love to partake in certain after school clubs but isn’t allowed due to teachers thinking he’s always gonna be a problem child.

Has a medal he won genuinely and hides it as his most prized possession, only boasting with the one he cheated in/stole.

[romance-of-three-memes]

Anyway I'm going to talk about the world-building and 'lore' for that story I mentioned about some of the people from the Three Kingdoms era who were historically men being women instead. I don't want it to be a reflection of modern values, women clearly have more autonomy since they can join the military but it wasn't because of an attempt at realizing gender equality, a lot of that was because everything was so chaotic and you had to drum up support on such short notice that military leaders started going 'fuck it, I need to fill out my ranks, I'll settle for women if I have to', and they're almost always a minority in the group.

It certainly is a way to potentially avoid scenarios you'd rather not deal with, like a shitty abusive home life... If you can avoid being tracked down, anyway, because if a guy comes along and says 'hey give me back my wife/daughter' it's just easier for the leader to do what he wants and lose one soldier, the only time there's really any push-back is if the woman has distinguished herself enough for this to be seen as a detriment, but even then it's a 'you're not like other girls' scenario, or to make it sound more like something someone in this setting would actually say, 'you're a woman but you have the strength of a man'.

And there's plenty of social ostracism. It's begrudgingly accepted, the wider sentiment is 'look at the times we're living in, even women must take up arms'. A lot of people think these women are there because they were so undesirable as wives/daughters-in-law that no one wanted them, so their parents either kicked them out or sent them off to the military so they wouldn't have to provide for their needs as much, and they could potentially bring their families back some extra resources if they survived, or their husbands want to get rid of them without an official divorce and has another wife or concubine he likes more. That describes some of them, but certainly not all of them.

They tend to come from poorer backgrounds since families with more security are less willing to risk the more reliable bargaining power their daughters bring with arranged marriages, with the exception being women who get their position through hereditary means, like Sun Ce.

And Sun Ce wasn't really meant to be an heir, Sun Jian just had no sons and started bringing her along around age 13, which was fairly common for boys expected to inherit military positions, and went 'oh you know she's helpful, but once I have a son I can have her marry a good guy and she can help me train her brothers and sons when she eventually has them, she'll never have to step on the battlefield again' (Spoiler alert, he never had sons or knew his grandchildren). People occasionally think 'well Lady Wu and Sun Jian only had three children and they were all girls, *clearly* they didn't try that hard, what did they expect?' but you see, Lady Wu also had three miscarriages. So that's a bit of a sore spot. Maybe don't bring it up.

But here and historically it was actually Sun Ce's cousin Sun Ben that immediately took over when Sun Jian died, but a few years down the line he seems to have voluntarily stepped down. Who knows why, he could've easily held onto it since his father was Sun Jian's older brother and he was older than Sun Ce, but I envision him as being deeply uninterested in leadership positions and happy to be rid of it. Maybe Sun Ce kind of talked him into it because she knew it would be easier to convince him to step down and let her take over down the line and promised him it wouldn't be for long, just until she hit age 20 aka the age of official adulthood. There was trouble over a woman taking leadership of the clan, but everyone involved quieted down considerably after she proved herself to be more than effective. It's a bit harder to complain once she's carved out a good bit of territory for them and raised their status.

[petpluto]

Xander proposing at the end of season 5, and then not telling anyone for the summer and struggling in season 6 makes complete sense to me.

Forget that this is a 20/21 year old. This is a guy who has had a good year, in season 5. He’s gone from being listless and feeling left behind by his friends who have gone to college to having a good job. Not just a job, a career path. His skills have been *noticed*. He’s gotten a promotion, a pay bump, and the respect of his boss. He’s gotten out of his abusive parents’ basement. He is flying high and feeling good. And he proposes, because it’s not going to be the end of the world. He proposes to Anya because he doesn’t just have faith Buffy will save them all again - he knows it. Just like he knows the sun will rise tomorrow, he knows Buffy will save the world.

And then she does, but she dies doing it. One of the people Xander loves most, one of the only people I think he legitimately considers family, dies. Dies saving them. And they all just… stop. Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn… they stop. They are existing but not living. And it’s grief and it’s guilt and it’s the promise that they’re going to get Buffy back that keeps them in stasis. And Xander doesn’t want to tell the gang he got engaged, not when it’s the gang minus Buffy, not when they plan to make the gang whole again soon. They get her back, and it’s not time now, either, because Buffy is back but she’s also not herself. She’s hurting and quiet and separate from them in a way that was never true before. They brought Buffy back, but the gang isn’t whole. Not yet. And then he feels compelled to tell them all that he’s engaged, when the Buffy who came back starts to feel like normalcy, when everyone is together and he sees this amazing woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

But then the rest of the year happens. He felt sure footed when he proposed; Xander knew who he was and where he was going. But since then, it’s been one blow after another. Buffy’s death, learning they ripped her from heaven, Tara and Willow breaking up, Willow struggling with magic… Everything is whispering to him the good times don’t last. He doesn’t get to keep the good things in his life. Not Buffy, not Willow. Not Anya. Xander came so far from being that abused kid hiding from his father in his basement, or camping out in the back yard on Christmas; but he starts feeling dragged back down in it. He is the screw up. He is the problem. He could be his father, might be like his father, is like his father. He could hurt the one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with - he is going to be the death of her. Anya starts planning their wedding, and every family member he has pushes this funhouse mirror closer and closer until it feels like it’s just a mirror. Like it’s reflecting his reality.

Xander wanted to be married to Anya, but he didn’t want Anya to be married to him. Not the him he feared he was or the man he worried about becoming. And I wish season 6 had done more with that, because the storyline runs deep through all of the preceding seasons and shines brightly in Hell’s Bells.

[snowzing1]

Not people saying Frans is a proship but Pomni x Jax, Stolas x Blitz, whatever Belle has going on with her beast, Hades x Persephone, JFK x Joan of Arc, and I don't even want to touch on what's seemingly happening with Murder Drones, are completely free of such "critism".

And then people will scream "proships?? How????? I ship then and they're fine!" As if "proship" is only used as an insult against a ship someone doesn't like via the twisted bullshit made up definition. How do the ships above qualify as "proship" material? Simple!

Read below if you give a shit about my rambling ⬇️

Pomni x Jax could be seen as abusive. Jax actively looks for ways to hurt others, especially physically!!! Including Pomni, whom he used as a tight rope and threw things at. Furthermore, if you want to be weird about it, you could argue its beastality because one is a damn rabbit and the other a human. Do I believe it is? Fuck no. But antis are desperate creeps. Not to mention when some people claimed it was pedophilic because they saw Pomni as an underage child. Not to mention you could bullshit into saying they have a power dynamic because Jax has a key to everyone's room therefore holds power over them. And Jax is just general self-destructive as hell and does not care if it affects others.

Stolas x Blitz is the most self explanatory of romanticised abuse. Stolas is literally royalty and a cry baby who victim blames himself despite him having power and blackmailing in the relationship. Then guilt trips some more because hell yeah. Let's fucking burn this house down. Blitz has actively shown to be scared, uncomfortable, or even outright reject Stolas' advancements only to be told he's the bad guy for falling into some bullshit stockholm syndrome where he's terrified to leave

Belle is 17 in the movie, Beast is 21 or so estimatedly. That's 4 year age gap but people LOVE calling pedophilia and grooming at any character below 18 regardless of the ACTUAL age gap. Beastality. And everyone knows of the stockholm. Her own father was taken from her and held hostage until she traded her own freedom for her parent. She was locked in his castle against her will because the man wanted to attempt to clumsily win her hand in order to be human again. She was cut off from the outside world, loved ones, only speaking to people who actively supported and even aided her capture. When she was let go, she was given a magic mirror to watch the beast sulk in sadness for the rest of eternity (if it wasn't to drive the plot forward, that would be caused her serious guilt and self loathing) and even when freed she could not stay away. So that's bullshit "pedophilia", power imbalance, family held captive, a human with an oversized dog, and imprisonment to create an arguably "problematic" and "toxic" relationship

Hades and Persephone is more stockholm. Hades kidnapped and forced Persephone to marry him at the age of believed 19-20. And you can believe Hades is much older. He took her from her mother and her life prancing around flowery fields, instead dragging her to the underworld where this goddess associated with life is surrounded by death. Isolated her. She could only see her mother in, I believe, the spring. Not to mention. Isn't Hades her uncle?

JFK literally Spends the entire first season (I didn't watch past, fuck that) sexualizing women for sex. He berated Joan at best and only tried being nice to her when she was "hot" at worst. When Joan was all sad about Abe not loving her, JFK comes in to say he's "always" thought she was pretty just to get in her pants. Nothing about it was genuine. He used her for his own gain. And she arguably used him without considering his feelings to make Abe jealous. Nothing about either of their sides is healthy

That is not to say I look at all those ships and think of the worst in them. I actively love some of those that I critiqued, I don't care if another person loves it either. All I care about is the intention behind someone who ships because we don't always see things the same way and I hate the term "proshipping", it is such a brainless black and white desperate insult.

Oh I'm so sorry you see these characters in some sick, gross way. Allow me to suggest: keep walking and minding your own business? Accepting that others have different opinions from you and that's okay? You can still be friends with someone who has different character headcanons than you? To not be hateful and bitter and look for every opportunity to attack someone who's different from you? To not force your arguably gross views that are not canon between two characters onto other people?

It was nice talking, I'd love to see you again when we've both matured more in life <3

[bcolfanfic]

I need more about Helen and her boys or else I’ll explode

ft her bff jeanie there with the blonde hair <3 ughaaa. yeah i love them so bad. i think i’ve mentioned it before but ev is still enlisted for a number of more years when they’re together. does flight training stuff at the base in west virginia then when they eventually move up to new york to be closer to friends (croz and jeanie end up there too, curt/ken already were, as were rosie and aiden) he commutes to new jersey. gets deployed overseas again which is a whole Thing that eventually leads to him getting out of the military because he gets shot in the chest.

ev loves wyatt to deathhhhh. grew up in a big family, always wanted to be a dad and never imagined it would happen like *this* (which he also has some guilt around esp because he was there when nash died) but he really is so happy. always yapping to his buddies on the base about him, loves bringing him on base to look at airplanes and show him (and helen) off.

full timeline wise him and helen do eventually have a couple girls in their litter of the kids but the first baby of there’s is another boy (sawyerrrrr 🤏🏼) which he’s sooooo excited about. again- talks peoples ears off on base about it, talks his mama’s ear off on the phone when he calls her, talks to the mail man lmao. bless him, he’s just happy!!!

and helen is too <3 even though she has her own stumbling blocks with shit. not just in regards to losing nash either but re: the abuser she was with before ev and having a very poor relationship with her parents.

there’s some drama because when she accidentally gets pregnant with sawyer they aren’t married or even engaged yet. and the good catholic girl guilt + some other women on base not being very nice makes that more difficult for her then it ought to be. (lmao when ev finds out some other base girls are picking on her he goes apeshit on their husbands- some of which are under his command. very very protective of his girl. especially knowing how damn sweet and shy she is/that she struggles some with standing up for herself).

ev really is the best guy for her. so patient and loving and gentle and just. worships the ground she walks on. as she deserves.

pinterest board

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 4

Chapter 4 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Evan offers his support to Eddie after Shannon has left and the three of them slot into a life together with ease. There are some ups and downs, but they’re managing… until the hospital bills come in.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slowburn)

Warnings: ableism, emotionally abusive parents, child abandonment, homophobia

~~~

Chapter 4: Three Lives Becoming Intertwined

Evan watches Eddie gather himself for a moment. It’s a little weird what he’s doing, getting caught up in this divorce even more, but he can’t help himself. Evan has always liked helping people, listening to people at the bar had been nice, feeling like he could lighten their load. Same as why he’s working on the Johnson farm now, their usual farm hand had gone off to college and there wasn’t anyone they could ask. So now, a year later, here he still is.

And it is the same thing with the Diaz family. He thought Shannon was pretty from the second he saw her and when she blurted out having nothing more than an egg run as a social life, he felt for her, wanted to make her feel better. Then she talked about her divorce and on instinct he turned into a shoulder to lean on.

Now, Eddie shows up looking all out of sorts and panicked, Shannon having left him and Chris – and him, but he’s trying not to think about it – and Evan can’t help but want to help. Eddie doesn’t seem like a bad guy and he is obviously trying. It can’t be easy, being a dad that young and then suddenly also having to do it alone.

So, here he is, hearing Eddie’s side of the divorce.

Eddie tells him about getting papers served to him while he was in Afghanistan, nestled between the cookies his mom baked him and a few drawings from Chris. How he wanted to try and work it out, but Shannon refused, insisting they wouldn’t work and implying it was his fault. He is vague about why it is his fault, but Evan doesn’t push.

Then he continues about coming home and being subjected to his mom’s judgment about Chris. “I would also be crazy if that was directed at me for years. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it longer, but I’m home now. She never has to speak to my mom again if she wants.”

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. He’s been doing that the whole time and it’s sticking up in all kind of ways. Evan thinks it looks kind of cute, but he doesn’t comment, just makes a noise to indicate he’s still listening, encouraging Eddie to go on.

“Like we were working towards a future where we’d have our own lives, but still be there together for Chris. Figuring the house and the finances, you know, straightening out the mess that was our divorce. Then she’s suddenly gone.”

“Did she say why she left?” Evan asks, an inkling of curiosity for himself, but he’s mostly invested in Eddie. It’s easier to focus on him than on himself.

Eddie looks away and murmurs: “Her mom’s sick. Cancer.” He sucks in a deep breath, before groaning: “Which probably makes me a horrible person, but I don’t get why she didn’t talk to me, you know. We could’ve worked something out, even if it was just Chris having her on holidays and birthdays, or a fucking goodbye. But no. She’s just gone.”

“She didn’t mention it at all?” Evan frowns. Now that he thinks about it, he can’t recall her talking about it either. Though a small part soothes the ache about her leaving without saying anything at the news that she’s taking care of her sick mother, she probably didn’t wanna drag him into that, because he would have. Quietly, he forgives her for leaving him. Not Chris, though.

“No,” Eddie sighs. “I know she’d been calling with her mom more, but I didn’t ask, because I wanted to give her space and her own life. It’s already bad enough that I’m living on my own couch. Though… I guess I can take the bedroom now.”

A hand goes through his hair again and he looks completely overwhelmed when he says: “Fuck, how am I going to explain to Chris why mommy isn’t there to tuck him in? And I have to go work and then I’ll have to explain to my mom why she’s babysitting and she’ll have everything to say about it and I’ll- I- I can’t-”

“Hey, Eddie, breathe, breathe,” Evan tries his best to calm the spiraling man.

He doesn’t touch him again, but his voice is strangely soothing and Eddie manages to get his heart rate under control. He doesn’t know why it’s so easy to open up to Evan, but it is. He is letting himself spiral, show anything other than being in perfect control. He hasn’t done that with anyone since Shannon told him she was pregnant.

“I’m okay,” he manages after a few seconds. “I’m sorry. I’m dumping everything all on you. I don’t even know why you’re letting me do that.”

“Because you need someone to listen,” Evan shrugs as if that truly is his reason, as if someone needing someone is truly enough for him to drop everything. Then he grins at Eddie – making his insides squirm for reasons he doesn’t want to get into – and says: “Plus, I hate to tell you, but I have been upgraded to Chris’s best friend recently. So, it’s my duty to make sure he’s okay.” His face drops a little. “I really hope he’s going to be okay.”

Eddie follows his gaze to where Chris has sat himself down on the floor, talking to the chickens as they mill around him. He is giggling to himself looking so happy and carefree. Eddie wishes that will never leave and something constricts in his chest. “Me too.”

They both fall quiet for a moment, watching Chris play. It’s nice, sharing his son’s delight with someone for a bit without judgment or a loaded history hanging over them.

“I don’t wanna lose him, you know.” The soft confession comes before Eddie can think about it, too honest for his taste the second it leaves his lips.

“You’re not going to lose him,” Evan says and Eddie can hear that Evan believes it, so much that he almost dares to believe it himself too.

However, he doesn’t dare. He knows he’s too much of a screw up for this to work out. Hell, it took only a few months of being back, before he drove away Chris’s other parent, that doesn’t exactly bode well for the future. So, he morosely says: “You can’t know that.”

“Come on, man. You can’t give up on him,” Evan says, trying to go for a tease, but it comes out a lot more genuine. He wants this to work out. He wants Chris to have a parent who cares for him. He has gotten strangely attached to the kid and it’s healing something inside him to see him have people that care. He needs Eddie to keep fighting.

“I’m not giving up on him,” Eddie says heatedly, which unknots something in Evan’s chest. “I love that kid, of course I’m not giving up. Never.” Then he turns insecure again and he can’t look in Evan’s direction as he adds: “I just- I know I can’t do it alone, I also don’t know how long I can do it with my mom, before she wins or I snap.”

His heart breaks for Eddie, who desperately wants to do right by Chris, but for whom life has made it incredibly difficult to do so. “You’re not alone.”

“What?”

“Uh, you’re- you’re not alone. I’m in your corner,” Evan says sheepishly, only realizing after how weird it is to say that. It’s not as if he’s Chris’s stepparent, he and Shannon never even properly dated, just fucked a few times. He’s closer to a babysitter, yet here he is.

“Why?” It’s comes out ruder than Eddie meant to, but he just doesn’t understand. Shannon left and she was Chris’s mother, why is this guy still here, still wanting to help. He’s not going to get anything out of it like he did from Shannon.

Evan shrinks into himself, it’s small but it’s there, before he covers it with bravado as he jokes: “Is it weird if I say the kid grew on me?”

“A little,” Eddie tells him honestly, because he never knows when to stop himself.

Luckily, Evan takes it in stride. He chuckles a little and says: “Yeah, thought so.” Then he becomes more serious and says: “Look, I know Shannon had it hard, but her leaving is going to hurt him. A lot. Chris is going to need someone to fight for him. Not to get personal, but my parents kind of didn’t care. I’d hate to see that for someone else, especially when you do care.”

“And that’s enough to want to stay here and back me up?” Eddie asks, not really believing that someone like that can be real. “Shouldn’t you be out there, seeing the world or something?”

It’s unfortunately close to what Shannon said to him a few months ago and Evan realizes with a start what he didn’t realize then; he doesn’t want to do that.

He traveled for a few years already before coming to El Paso and no matter how many crazy experiences he’s had, none of them have filled the gaping hole in his chest like meeting Chris has. He likes getting to see the kid grow up, likes knowing he’s had a hand in it. Likes knowing that he can help without screwing everything up.

“Nah, I’ve seen enough of the world. Besides, Mrs. Johnson would kill me if I left her high and dry like that,” he tells Eddie easily, squirming slightly when he sees those brown eyes are awe filled as they look at him.

“How are you a real person, man?” Eddie asks him. It isn’t a question, it’s a complement.

Evan can’t take complements like that, so he puts on his most shit eating grin as he says: “I don’t think I have to give you the birds and the bees talk, dude, you put that shit in practice already.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie finds himself exclaiming with a matching grin. For the first time since he was nineteen does he actually feel his age, his youth. Shannon leaving is one of the worst things that has happened to him to date, but today isn’t a total disaster.

In the end, Eddie spends the rest of his day with Chris, spoiling him as much as he can to make up for the heartbreak he’s going to bring him. He can’t bring himself to tell Chris just yet though, needs a little longer to process himself. So, he takes up Evan’s offer for help and lets the other tuck Chris in bed and watch him for the night.

It’s weird, to be in the Diaz house. Whenever he and Shannon hooked up it was in the little sideroom the Johnsons provided for him and when he watched Chris, it was at the farm. too But now he is in her home and she no longer lives there.

There are traces of her here and there. It’s clear she decorated, but moved out. There is no other personality anywhere except Chris’s.

The next morning, Eddie comes in to find Evan sleeping on the couch that he’s been using for a bed these past few months. Watching him sleep like this makes him realize how young he is. He must be around his age. He wonders how he ended up here. He says he saw a lot of the world, but this is one hell of a place to strand.

When he thinks about it, he doesn’t know much about him, just that he ended up here somehow and works for the Johnsons and has shitty parents. Shitty enough that he’s willing to stay here and help Eddie to prevent Chris from having a childhood close to his own.

In a way, Eddie relates to that, he never wants Chris to feel like he has to be the man of the house, he wants to do better. Be there for him.

He thought Shannon wanted that too, but apparently not.

Eddie still isn’t sure how he’s going to explain that to Chris and he tries not to think about it, instead quietly sneaking to the kitchen as to not wake Evan. He starts up coffee and makes two mugs, putting one on the coffee table and sipping the other.

Once the mug is empty, he goes to get Chris. The two of them do Chris’s PT exercises, before letting him go to the kitchen for breakfast. They can get dressed and brush their teeth after they’ve eaten and seen Evan out the door.

Evan gets woke up by an excited four year old crashing into him. Chris had been thrilled about Evan watching him for the night, not questioning the impromptu sleepover or the lack of mommy for the night. He seems equally thrilled that he’s there in the morning.

“Hey, little man,” Evan greets sleepily. “Did you get out of bed yourself?”

“No, daddy did. We did the morning movies,” Chris informs him excitedly.

That confuses Evan, but before he can ask, Eddie’s voice answers: “We did his PT exercises. We call them the morning movements, but the we’re working on the full word.”

“Ah,” Evan nods, still not fully awake, because he stares at Eddie for a second. He’s still dressed in his night guard uniform, looking a little disheveled and rumpled.

Eddie must interpret his look some acceptable way, because he snorts: “There’s coffee right there. Hope you’re not sick of eggs yet, because it’s the only thing I can make.”

Indeed there is a steaming mug waiting for him and it is one of the nicest things someone has done for him in years. He has to swallow a lump in his throat, praying his morning voice covers it as he states: “You’re making me breakfast?”

“Yeah, it’s the least I can do,” Eddie smiles, looking a little bashful and sheepish.

“You don’t have to, but thanks,” Evan smiles back, probably looking more fond than he intends. It is crazy how fast they’ve become friends considering their history. “Not sick of eggs yet.”

“Thank god for that,” Eddie grins, then he disappears to make breakfast, while Chris tries to tell him about this dream he had. It’s a little confusing, but Evan tries his hardest to pay attention.

Breakfast should be an awkward affair, but Chris’s presence makes it easier to talk, so it ends up being pretty nice.

Though, Evan does have to hurry to make it back to the Johnson farm on time to get started for the day, trying not to feel Mrs. Johnson’s judgy eyes. He’s probably going to be grilled during lunch so she can take the gossip back to Church come Sunday. Evan really hopes for Eddie’s sake that he’ll manage not to crack.

Meanwhile Eddie and Chris take a shower and a bath respectively, before brushing their teeth together. Chris is too young to have the motor skills to do it himself yet, but Eddie doesn’t mind. He loves getting to spend mornings with his son, never wants to give any of it up. His heart constricts at the reminder that Shannon was willing to give this all up.

When they’re both dressed, he doesn’t put Chris on the floor to play to his heart content while he naps on the couch, instead he puts Chris down on the couch and takes a seat on the coffee table so they can have a talk. “Hey, mijo,” he starts. “I wanted to have a little talk with you.”

“Okay, daddy,” Chris replies, so open and trusting, it makes Eddie want to vomit.

“You may have noticed, but mommy wasn’t here last night,” Eddie says, hating every word. “She is not going to be here tonight either. Mommy is gone. She left and she is not going to be here for a while.” He can’t bring himself to say forever, can’t crush any hope Chris might have like that, even if the custody papers that are burning in his bedroom drawer tell a different story.

“Mommy is gone?” Chris repeats in a small voice, lip starting to wobble.

“Yeah, mijo. She had to go,” Eddie confirms, heart ripping in two as he reaches out to Chris to pull him in his lip.

“But she didn’t say bye bye,” Chris tells him, as if that is going to change anything. To him it probably does. When you go, you say bye bye, so Shannon can’t be gone, because she didn’t say bye bye. Eddie sadly knows it doesn’t work like that.

“She had to hurry,” Eddie lies, because what else is he going to tell him? That mommy didn’t want to be his mommy anymore and dropped him with her fuck buddy and left without saying goodbye, because she didn’t want to risk getting stopped? No, thanks.

“When you went, you said bye bye. You said bye bye and you came back. When is mommy coming back? I want mommy,” Chris demands, voice becoming less and less comprehensible as he breaks down in tears.

Eddie hugs him as close to his chest as he can, stroking his back as he lets Chris sob. He wonders if Shannon had to do the same when he left, then remembers Chris was too young to remember, he just remembers the bye byes from their calls.

Chris sobs for an hour and nothing Eddie says makes it better. How can it? The whole thing reminds him of the brief period he was home before he re-enlisted, how Chris had cried and cried and he felt so out of his depth. That doesn’t even begin to compare to how he feels now.

In the end, Chris cries himself to exhaustion and Eddie has to use the time to sleep too. He lies down on the couch, Chris on his chest. He’s so big already that his feet rest on his thighs, tears burn at the realization how much he missed, how much Shannon is going to miss.

The sleep he has is fitful and barely there, both he and Chris are cranky and miserable for the rest of the day. They cuddle up on the couch and watch cartoons as Eddie ignores the voice in his head that sounds a lot like his mom telling him it’s bad for Chris. He needs this. They both do.

Dinner is a silent affair, just the two of them poking at the sad excuse for a dinner. Shannon usually cooks, because Eddie is hopeless. Another hole she left, another place he’s failing. He hates that he’s going to have to ask his mom for help at some point.

Evan comes around after dinner and gives Eddie a look when Chris isn’t as excited as yesterday to see him. He can see his own heartbreak and understanding reflected in Evan’s eyes when Chris asks: “Are you going to leave too?”

“No, buddy, I’m here to stay,” Evan tells him with such conviction that both Chris and Eddie believe him. Eddie nearly cries, because this stranger has shown so much compassion and kindness for his son and he can’t ever repay him or verbalize how much he is already doing, even two days into knowing each other.

After that they fall into a routine quite quickly. Surprisingly easily too. Evan has a planner side, getting out a notebook and some paper and figuring out a schedule that works.

Eddie spends the days with Chris, waking him up and doing the morning routine, usually eating breakfast with the three of them, before Evan has to leave for work. Eddie naps as Chris plays, until dinner, which Evan has started to eat with them after Chris asked him to stay one day and Eddie didn’t say no. After dinner Eddie leaves for work and Evan puts Chris to bed, before spending the night.

At first Evan sleeps on the couch, but Eddie knows from personal experience that it is not comfortable, so he tells him to take the bed. Technically they’re sharing, but they never sleep at the same time, so it’s not that big a deal.

They run so smoothly that it takes a week and a half before his mom finds out Shannon left. And that is only because Mrs. Johnson mentions she hasn’t been around while at Church and then Chris cries when mom asks when they go over for Sunday brunch (which is still required even if Eddie doesn’t go to Church itself anymore).

The lecture he gets is one for the books and Eddie actually storms out in anger, not going to Sunday brunch for two weeks, until his mom comes to his house to drag him there. Eddie thanks his lucky stars Evan is out at work when she does, since he doesn’t think they’d survive them meeting just quite yet.

His mom does eventually learn that it is Evan on who he is relying and she has a few choice of words for that too, which sting more than Eddie expected.

Even though they mostly function on opposite schedules, they have become quite good friends in the quiet moments they have together and the moments they share with Chris. It’s nice to have someone to share being a parent with, someone he can turn to when Chris does something adorable, someone that has his back when it’s difficult.

He defends Evan, screaming at his mom how Evan has done more for him and Chris than she has and that he’s not trying to take Chris from him, but is actually helping.

“You’re as bad as Shannon was, letting any stranger without a clue into Chris’s life. How is that going to keep him healthy? Neither of you know how to take care of a special child like Chris. You are going to get him hurt and it’s only a matter of time, before Evan leaves too,” she hisses. “Why would he want to spend his life here with you, huh? Do you even know what his motives are? Or are you too blind, still following Shannon’s lead?”

“Evan isn’t going to leave,” Eddie tells her, but he can’t tell her why, he just know that when Evan promised Chris he is here to stay, Eddie believed him.

“We’ll see about that,” mom huffs.

“I guess we will,” Eddie shoots back, before slamming the door closed.

When Evan comes back with Chris from doing groceries later, they find Eddie sitting at the table staring into his coffee. He smiles when Chris comes in and engages enough that Chris doesn’t notice anything is off when he leaves to go play, but Evan does.

“Are you okay?” he asks, taking a seat across from Eddie.

“Yeah. Mom came by, heard you were helping. She didn’t like that,” Eddie sighs. “And I can’t even blame her entirely. I don’t know why you’re doing this, Evan. Chris is my kid, I’m gonna fight for him, I got myself in this mess. You don’t have to give away your youth to take care of him. Why are you still here?”

“I- I can go if you want me to,” Evan says, sounding insecure.

“Please don’t.” The words are out before Eddie can stop them, but he doesn’t regret them when Evan relaxes again and smiles. Eddie gives him a crooked smile and says: “It would be a bad look if you left after I yelled at my mom that you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, that would be a bad look,” Evan grins back.

Both are quiet for a second, then Evan breaks it again: “And you didn’t get yourself into a mess or giving away your youth. Or mine. Chris is a good kid. The best. I care for him. It would break my heart to leave him.”

“It would break his too,” Eddie says, not adding that it would break his own as well. Evan is his only friend, he can’t imagine what it would do if he left too. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

And that is that. Evan is staying. Something that becomes more permanent when Helena tells Mrs. Johnson about what her ranch hand has been doing and she decides to give it a whole new spin, before unceremoniously kicking Evan out and firing him.

Eddie doesn’t even question it, before offering Evan a place in his own home until he figures it out. He slots in at home as easily as he as he has in every other aspect of his life. Their life.

He gets a job in construction instead and Chris gets to an age where he goes to kindergarten. Their routine grows and changes with them.

Morning routine is still Eddie’s responsibility and they eat breakfast as a family, before Evan leaves for work. Eddie drops Chris off at school, then sleeps. He does pick up and spends the afternoon with Chris, before Evan comes home.

Evan can actually semi-cook. He’s not great, but he’s not as horrid as Eddie. They have four meals they eat in rotation. It works for them.

They eat together, then Eddie has to leave for his night shift and Evan does nighttime routine. He is quite smug about it when Chris informs Eddie that Evan is better at doing the voices when reading stories.

On the days Evan doesn’t have to work, they all sleep in, having a lazy breakfast. They go on drives or make outing to the ice cream parlor. When they can afford it they go to the zoo or to a museum. Both know they get some looks, but they’ve learned to ignore those. They’re friends, maybe unnaturally close, but that’s for Chris’s sake.

When Eddie doesn’t have to work, they do the reading together, both voicing the different characters – hence the comparison – before dropping on the couch with a beer. Usually they stay up later than they should, Eddie’s opposite schedule ingrained and Evan who is easily convinced that another hour isn’t so bad. Those are the nights they bond.

For all they do together, they have spend that much time together where they can talk about personal things. Not for child ears things.

But during those nights Evan gets the full rundown of the Diaz family with all its members, Eddie’s childhood and how he wants to do different, better. He also gets more about meeting Shannon, their brief love turned into a marriage that fell apart almost quicker than their love had come together.

Meanwhile, Evan opens up slightly about his own childhood, the one he ran from, the sister that left him and let him go in turn. He hasn’t gotten a letter back in years, tries not to let it get to him. He hasn’t exactly been diligent in writing them either, too caught up in parenting, too unsure what to say, where to begin.

When Chris has to get two surgeries, they sit with each other in the hospital. Eddie wasn’t there for the first one, he imagines Shannon sitting there by herself – or worse with mom – and doesn’t blame her for breaking under the pressure.

He does blame her for not being there when Chris asks if mommy is going to come now that he’s in the hospital, like she had last time. The way Chris breaks all over again when Eddie has to answer no, much like he had during that first birthday and Christmas.

It doesn’t get better after those two hospital stays either. The bills come in the mail and Eddie finds himself at the kitchen table instead of the couch on with Evan one of those precious days he doesn’t have to work. He runs a hand through his hair as he stares at the number. He chokes out: “We’re not going to be able to pay these, even if we both get a second job.”

“What are we going to do?” Evan asks, looking equally as pale as he meets Eddie’s eyes, the calculator hanging uselessly in his hands.

Resigned determination comes over him and he feels detached from himself as the simple answer comes to him: “I’m gonna have to re-enlist.”

~~

A/N:

Nothing said about Shannon this chapter is meant as hate to her or her choices and I hope it doesn’t come across like that. It’s just Eddie’s POV and he’s angry at her, understandably so. However, I do think Shannon has valid reasons for leaving too, even if she could have gone about it a little better. (I actually have a whole Shannon backstory for this verse, but idk if I’ll write it down)

[spudangle]

So I've been thinking about what Astarion's life looked like before he was turned into a vampire.

We know little to nothing about Astarion’s past, besides the fact that he was a magistrate, and that he was approximately 39 years old when he was turned into a spawn by Cazador. From a storytelling perspective we don’t really need to know more than that, for one, it makes sense that he can’t remember his past, as 39 years of normalcy is nothing in comparison to 200 years of abuse, and besides, him having been a magistrate already tells us a lot just based on association.

Anyways, I actually just wanted to get into some of my headcanons for what I imagine his pre-spawn life and upbringing might have looked like.

I like to think that Astarion had the most boring upper middle class/upper class life that you can imagine. 

He was brought up in a fairly wealthy family, at least wealthy enough to have a couple of servants employed, like 1-3.  

And obviously his family was super snobbish, maybe not rude (though probably that too), but they were definitely grossly ignorant of the people that they deemed below them.

He became a magistrate because his father was a magistrate (or maybe his father had a higher position, but I don’t know the right terms when it comes to law), and so the same was expected of Astarion.

Not that I think that Astarion hated being a magistrate, but he probably enjoyed it more so because of the status and power that it afforded him, rather than a genuine interest in law. 

His father was probably a real stick in the mud. The sort of guy who wouldn’t be all that present or interested in his son’s life unless it had to do with his education or reputation, so any parenting from his side would have been rather strict.

And while there might not have been a lot of love in their relationship I can still see a young Astarion really admiring his father, though also being a little intimidated by, if not afraid of, him.

Astarion, as a child, would definitely have threatened to have his father sue if he didn’t get his way. 

“WeLl mY FAthEr WiLl sue yOuR fAtHeR…” 

Astarion’s mother would have been the complete opposite of his father. Still a complete snob, but not at all a stick in the mud. 

By no means a working lady, neither outside of or in the house (that’s what you have servants for), but rather a socialite, she herself coming from somewhat noble stock prior to being married. 

A bit of a wine mom for lack of a better term, and she would been heeeavily into gossip, constantly being up to date on what was happening inside and outside of her social circle.

She had probably been sharing gossip with Astarion since he could talk.   

She loved Astarion dearly, spoiling him rotten. 

Though, she too could probably have been a bit more emotionally attentive to him. 

I imagine that Astarion resembles or at least resembled his mother a lot, both in appearance and personality.

Anyways. 

Astarion’s life was mundane as HELL before he became a vampire spawn.

I understand logistically why elves - especially in human societies - have to work after the age of 18, but what, he was only 39, was he supposed to spend the next 700-800 years of his life just working in law?? No adventuring out and seeing the world?? Nothing??? That must have been so boring for an elf, right???

Like seriously what did he have to look forward to???

So you have pre-spawn Astarion doing the same thing day in and day out, working in the shadow of his father. 

Spending the evenings and weekends accompanying his mother to social events, which quickly became boring after a couple of years, because it was always the same people and the same boring gossip. 

He wasn’t really his own person then either, always having to be presentable, having to maintain the image of his family. 

The only thrills he could gain were those found when exerting power over others at court, or when spreading nasty rumors among his peers to see them erupt into chaos.

And sure it was easy and it was nice but it wasn’t very exciting. 

But at least it was better than what was going to be his life for the next 200 years.

I just think that these things are so interesting to consider, when thinking about Astarion’s character. He was a part of a real family before Cazador snatched him away. He was someone’s son. 

I have more thoughts, but I don’t really know if they fit in here.

[mayxo-hxh]

extremely specific queer hisoillu ramblings & hcs. question prompt was: How and when do you think Hisoillu found out they were queer?

i worked around the demi hc so for both of them.

For Hisoka I think it was obvious to him that he wasnt even close to cis and he knew he wouldve felt more comfortable generally being perceived as a man instead of a woman (i hc him transmasc) most of the time despite liking feminine stuff anyways.

TW FOR TRANSPHOBIA:

i do think kid hisoka, who very much first presented as a lil guy before his chest grew out, had heard multiple slurs thrown at him and was definitely physically and mentally abused for liking "feminine things" when he looked like a boy. and for the very short period of time where he grew a chest and saw the fact that his chest suddenly had him being called a girl no matter what.

its when it clicked with him that "normal" societal cis standards are absolute fucking bullshit and that hes gonna be whatever he fucking wanted. He actually didn't care about having a chest until they grew to their full size and he just naturally grew to dislike /always/ having them yknow. if he had the option to take them on and off when he felt like it, he'd go for it. (hehe. bungee boobs after top surgery)

That was for his trans realization. For his sexuality, well. I think he just thought he never liked people in the first place so sexuality was something he was extremely indifferent to. He saw ppl in love and heard of what they do when theyre in love and he was like. "yeah absolutely fucking not thats not for me. not even close" and the thought of sex just disgusted him because he can never imagine being this intimate with some random person (considering he literally had 0 people in his life that were even considered friends until illumi) i think its obvious. who his awakening was lmfao

illumis was basically, he knew he did not conform to cis standards and that was that. he didnt rlly think of any labels or any possibilities, he just did not give a fuck whether he was called this or that and knew he sometimes wished he was. neither. nothing at all. and his parents had no restrictions on his representation when he started to branch out and discover what he liked to present as (after his short hair teen days)

TW FOR ARO/ACEPHOBIA (probably)

mw for sexuality. same thing as hisoka basically. he knew he was gonna "have to" marry someone someday because this was the "normal" and what his parents expected but he just felt 0 attraction to anyone and everyone around him. he had a period where he thought it was normal to not feel attraction and people just put up with each other for the sake of either procreation or not living alone, then he thought he was broken because he realized akshually his parents DO love each other very much and hes the "abnormal" one.

unfortunately i dont think hes the type to realize that whatever he had going on for him was normal and completely fine, he was just extremely relieved when he realized he wasn't "broken" when he felt attracted to hisoka. but it probably took him a while to realize it was actual. yknow. that type of attraction. especially since illumi probably never formed any connections to anyone outside his family so when he did start feeling stuff with hisoka it was probably first brushed off as well. oh maybe this is normal when ure friends with someone haha. no illumi not in your case at least

basically in terms of sexuality, theyre the same but perceived their situation in complete opposite ways. Hisoka was completely fine with the thought of being alone but it freaked Illumi out 😭

[secret-sturniolo]

just a long vent. read (or dont) idc

not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.

let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.

if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:

my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.

they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.

wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?

i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.

and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.

they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.

you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.

i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.

love you all <3