#el_em_en_oh_pee

[mdzsao3]

the thrilling intimacy of fluently reading your partner's body

[ao3 link]

[theficpusher]

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry | nr | 2421 There he is, bowl of batter in one arm and whisk in the other. The wireless is blaring something that distinctly sounds like Fairytale of New York, which would make sense with how much Harry loves muggle music. But. The thing is, is he's doing some terribly odd moves, swaying his hips slightly out of pace with the music but with so much more passion than Louis thinks he's ever seen anybody display about this song. His apron, down to his knees, is swishing back and forth as he moves and - dear lord - his shorts don't even reach as low as the hem of his apron. Louis has to get out of here. Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

if you should try to kiss her by disgruntledkittenface | nr | 3129 It’s kind of their thing now. They make relentless snarky comments to and about each other and exchange meaningful eye contact every time they think no one is looking. At least, that’s what Louis thinks they’re doing, like their own extended lesbian mating ritual. It seems obvious to her that they’re inevitable in some kind of cosmic, grand design type of way; they’re eventually going to end up together and fix up an old house and Nick will build a chicken coop for the backyard (or hire someone to build it, probably) and then they’ll live happily ever after, bickering the whole time. If only she could be sure that’s what Nick thinks they’re doing. Harry's annual Christmas party gives Louis her chance to be brave and tell Nick how she feels.

(looking for) your name in these words by honey_beeing | T | 5330 Rapunzel, I wish you would let down your hair so I could come to meet you. ;) -Secret Santa "Mate, you're blushing," points out Niall as he reads it. (or) Where Secret Santa notes have a way of turning into love letters.

You Are The Only Thing On My Christmas List by KayleeJohn | T | 6008 Niall’s face splits in two in a wide teasing grin and Harry tries to yank his hand away, spitting, “Unbelievable,” but Niall just laughs, throwing his head back before he folds himself on the table top and traps Harry’s hand under his arms. It’s not the worst fate imaginable. Or the one where Niall is the only thing Harry really wants for Christmas.

I Just Want You (For My Own) by BleedMeAMelody | nr | 6147 “I made it so that you’re Harry Styles’ secret santa!” Niall practically shouted, clearly excited by his handiwork. Louis blinked once, twice, three times. “I’m sorry, I must be hearing things because it sounded like you just said that you made me Harry Styles’ secret santa, which I know can’t possibly be true,” Louis said evenly with a shake of his head. “Oh, but it is! I did!” Niall exclaimed happily. Or, Niall is tired of listening to Louis pine over the cute, curly-haired boy who works on the fourth floor, so he rigs the company’s secret santa. Holiday antics ensue.

Will You Still Call Me Superman by el_em_en_oh_pee | T | 6370 When Harry opens his locker, there's a box wrapped in blue tissue paper, wound messily in a skinny white ribbon, just sitting on top of his textbooks. A piece of paper taped to the top of the box readsTo Harry, Happy Christmas! I noticed how you're always chewing on your pencils in class so I thought this might help! -Your Secret Admir Santa xx In which Harry has an overwhelming crush on Liam, the nicest, coolest guy in school, and his friends aren't very supportive of the pain his crush causes him. The jerks.

Potions and Presents and a Partridge in a Pear Tree by b0yfriendsinl0ve | T | 7052 Harry has a bit of a crush, it's Christmas and there's chocolate.

Santa Baby Honey by SadaVeniren | E | 28736 “Let’s cut right to the chase,” Niall said, loading the powerpoint, which was just one page, comprised of Louis’ face and the words How do you solve a problem like this asshole? “It’s the beginning of November and Louis is already being a fuckwit. How are we gonna have him knock that shit off this year?” aka Louis is the CEO of a toy company and Christmas is a stressful time of year so his assistant decides the best way to make him chill out is by getting him laid through a Secret Santa

This Is Not The End by PrettyInSoulPunk | E | 41031 When Niall gets back home, there's a package lying on the ground right inside of his security gate, but he doesn't see it until he nearly trips over it. It's small, so he figures it must have been pushed through the mail slot. Or maybe it was thrown over the wall because it feels soft enough not to be fragile. There's no postage or return address, just a holiday sticker with his name printed on it in handwriting that Niall doesn't recognize.

[waitineedaname]

who are some of your favorite fanfic authors?

oh god this is such a hard question bc I'm really bad at keeping track of fics I like. I really should use the bookmarks function, but I do not <3

of the fic writers I can actually remember, I've got a couple from various fandoms I've been in the past few years! for hlvrai, it's absolutely @localdisasterisk. their narrative voice is so distinct and yet matches each character they write so perfectly, and I adore their dialogue. Scorched Grounds is to this day one of the funniest fics I've ever read. even if you know nothing about hlvrai, you should read this fic because it is hysterical. also risk has done the impossible, which is to incorporate ocs into fanfiction in a way that not only makes me care about them, but also makes me cry about them. what the fuck.

in the mp100 fandom, @scribefindegil definitely takes the cake. I'm realizing this is revealing what I really look for in a good fanfiction, but just like what I said for risk, scribe's narrative voice is fantastic and matches the pov characters spectacularly well. also scribe's handle on the themes™ and tone and tension?? chef's kiss. The Brassica Heresy is a masterpiece of vegetable based horror, but I'm especially partial to In Case Of Emergency because I love the ensemble cast and I really like the non-espers having to solve a psychic problem

also I haven't been able to keep up with most of the fics bc they've been coming out at a dizzying rate, but @thatneoncrisis deserves a shoutout for doing truly insane shit in the locked tomb fandom. no one is doing it like quinn. it's amazing. go read We Have Always Lived in the Apartment, it is truly something special

[youhideastar]

Recs: Canon-verse WLW Wangxian

This fandom loves modern AU wlw!Wangxian, but sometimes you want your Wangxian ladies-in-love to come with all the sword-riding, hanfu-wearing, and talisman-wielding that we love from canon. ❤️ Here are my favorite wlw Wangxian fics set in the canon universe:

hold her where you want her by damnslippyplanet (7000 words, Burial Mounds, sort of a PWP and sort of a fix-it)

I am OBSESSED with this fic, O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D. You could summarize it as, “LWJ visits WWX in the Burial Mounds and, in effect, fucks her into letting LWJ stay,” but that vastly undersells the depth of feeling, the exquisite LWJ POV, and the beauty of the prose. The line “Their foreheads are touching, but Wei Ying has touched Lan Zhan’s ribbon before, so many times. It hardly matters. Lan Zhan will let her fly it as a banner from the entrance to this place if she wants.” lives rent-free in my head for all of time. And there’s so much more! Run, don’t walk, to read this one.

Married to the Demon by @iamwestiec (10,000 words, AU, warprize!LWJ, yllzhot!WWX, Big Switch Energy)

A captured LWJ is claimed as a war prize and married by WRH’s most powerful ally, the Demon of Qishan… who promptly solicits LWJ’s help in overthrowing WRH. But they still have to keep up a façade in public--and WWX is driving LWJ up a horny wall with the public groping and resentacle-collar-and-handcuffs situation. I love their vibe here—so playful in spite of the terrible situation they’re in—and extra, extra love how much they like calling each other “wife.”

the biggest tits in history by @dulosiswrites /el_em_en_oh_pee (6000 words, very horny, 5 Things, canon retelling)

This fic is really neat because you go in expecting, from the title and tags and summary (“Five times Wei Wuxian notices how absolutely enormous Lan Zhan's tits are, and one time she does something about it.”), that this is going to be crack or porn or both. And there is definitely porn at the end, and it’s very good! But this fic is actually five very sweet snapshots of WWX and LWJ’s relationship, from Cloud Recesses to Xuanwu Cave to the Burial Mounds to WWX’s resurrection (plus the aforementioned porn), each one slightly and delightfully different from canon… and yes, all united by WWX’s fixation on LWJ’s enormous breasts. 😂

out of breath, out of mind by mme_anxious (4000 words, post-canon, PWP, bondage, adorable)

About-to-be-married Wangxian get a book of pornography as an engagement present and are inspired to try bondage for the first time. This is soooo cute, and also really beautifully written – so many gorgeous sentences. Plus, extremely hot. What could be better?

~

It would be tacky to write loving paeans to my own work 🤣, but I'll quickly throw in three of mine since they fit the theme!

Dangerous by Deastar (14,000 words, A/B/O, canon retelling, angst with a happy ending): Beta!LWJ has been raised to fear alphas—aggressive, ungovernable, promiscuous—and meeting alpha!WWX does nothing to change her mind… at first. Then, it changes everything.

scarcely trust my candid heart by Deastar (7000 words, Cloud Recesses arc, fluff and smut, A/B/O, humor): Beta/beta Wangxian with a LWJ who has gotten the incorrect impression that all betas are asexual and therefore finds WWX’s whole, like, everything extremely perplexing.

The Certainty of the Answer by Deastar (1300 words, Xuanwu Cave, fluff): A Xuanwu Cave amuse-bouche in which LWJ kisses WWX and then is stymied re: how to go about securing her hand in marriage.

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: lan jingyi needs a fucking break @jingY33T getting a phd in 3 things at one time sounded like a great idea when i started out | tired but hella wired | 21+ he/they views my own Location: probably the microfiche archives Website: uni.edu/cartographicfolklore Joined: August 2012 324 Following 5,678 Followers ------------- lan jingyi needs a fucking break @jingY33T 6/8/22 LISTEN UP YOU HISTORY-LOVING FUCKS HAVE I GOT A WILD FUCKING THEORY FOR YOU: THE YILING LAOZU PROBABLY ACTUALLY EXISTED AND MAY HAVE BEEN A HUUUUUUGE SAPPY ROMANTIC: a 🧵 [1/?]

Author: @dulosiswrites

Note from submitter: One of the best social media/emulations of a twitter thread I have read, also one of the best academia I've ever read. As in, the author did so much amazing research about real life cartography and folklore for this fic. But for the love of wangxian, TURN ON CREATOR'S STYLE or the fic may look wonky and most certainly not like twitter.

[mengyao]

in your little grey heart

TGCF, Beefleaf; 5k, rated E

a MXTX exchange gift for el_em_en_oh_pee!

the Wind and Earth Masters spend a stormy night out in the country; Shi Qingxuan takes a trip down memory lane; Ming Yi wants to see how far Shi Qingxuan will go for her; everybody exits their comfort zones a bit.

[concealedrecs]

Fic: the world all around

Author: el_em_en_oh_pee

Fandom: Heaven Official’s Blessing

Pairing: He Xuan/Shi Qingxuan

Rating: Teen

Length: 8503

Recommendation: This body swap, post-canon fic is an interesting dive into the characters and I really enjoy it. Like case fic where the two characters spend almost the entire run time away from each other, this really captures a moment in an interesting way.

[kiriel123]

Fic recs for mdzs/the untamed

Never Let Me Hit The Ground by phnelt

Modern AU BDSM lwj and wwx pair up to teach a BDSM 101 Ropes class. During demo practice wwx gets tied up. Fully suspended, fully Lan Zhan’s

a baby rabbit is called a kitten and other fun facts by aurora_chiroptera

Wwx and A-Yuan watch hgj’s youtube videos on bunny care. A-Yuan’s class adopts a bunny, and does not take care of it correctly. Obviously, the bunny man must be contacted for advice. Adorable and sweet!

Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise

Modern AU/Dimension Travel wwx, a modern man, accidentally walks through reality into an alternate canon Gusu Lan. Lwj is assigned to babysit while they figure out how to return him home. Really fun!

Estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley)

Modern AU three years after a bad breakup, lwj runs into wwx and his son in the grocery store. They reconnect. They take it slow(ish). Also, A-Yuan is a lego champion

and there was only one tent by detectorist

Modern AU wwx and lwj go on a camping trip the summer before everything is going to change. They are in! love! They yearn, they pine, they perish, they take the best care of each other

Unavoidable by diamondbruise

Post canon lwj develops amnesia of one specific person. He is unaware of this. Unrelatedlywho is this wwx that’s suddenly hanging around, somehow knows everyone in Cloud Recesses, and is getting on his LAST NERVE. Also, lwj wants to wreck him.

To Carry Within Us an Orchard by AnotherSpaceWitch

Post canon wwx and lwj, traveling together, going home, taking care of each other. The amount of tenderness in this one, I cry.

Sit down next to me by raitala

Modern AU straight boy wwx has been dumped (again) and believes he’s a bad kisser. Lwj has a duty, as a best friend, to show him he’s wrong. With his mouth. Now with added, equally amazing, sequel

Words are Gonna Bleed from Me by GravityWinsAgain

Crime Families with Cultivation AU (WIP) Modern AU where they’re all criminal families and Lan Wangji requests the help of Yiling Laozu in a case. And once Lan Wangji realizes Wei Wuxian is alive behind that mask, he’s not letting him go again

Ever Become A Stranger by el_em_en_oh_pee

WLW Post Canon wwx and lwj reunite and roleplay and love each other so much. Tender, sexy, and playful. Hilarious and adorable cameos by Lan Sizhui and Ouyang Zizhen. They’re wives! They’re in love!

[lansplaining]

👉👈 more sci-fi fic recs PLEASE I beg

i got u

fly me home for bleuett. There was only one... deserted planet?

back to your door by fruitys. Wei Ying studies space plants. And also, pining.

orbital decay by defractum. Sunshot re-write, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan orbit each other. And pine.

water, and the open sky by el_em_en_oh_pee. Wei Wuxian lives with the Wen androids on a deserted planet. Guess who shows up!

won't take the easy road by twigofwillow. Wei Wuxian makes a life for himself on a space station far from home.

Unrest My Soul by Justkeeptrekkin. More cyberpunk/horror than sci fi, but Meng Yao is a vampire. Because of science.

open always petal by petal by Skadiseven. A rare LanLan appears! Song Lan picks up a mysterious passenger.

Synced by theherocomplex. Have definitely rec'ed this before, but: Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen explore uncharted planets.

and sorry, I have to do a cheeky rec for my own sci fi au: static snow. Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen are salvage workers on abandoned planets.

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

(regarding your last rb)

TOP 5 PATPRAN FANFICS GO

Another easy question.............................................................................. Ok so, as I already did my top 5 authors with my favourite fic from them, I'm going to limit myself to fics from authors I didn't mention before (because I gotta limit it somehow!!!)

One that has to be up there is Let's Talk About Sex, Baby by engineering_madonna (and its sequel). It's so quintessentially both PatPran and also new/first relationship bumpiness. I loved the way the author tackled the subject whilst staying true to their characters and keeping everything so light and incredibly funny.

Another fave for very similar reasons is wuthering, weathering heights by lovesprings (@love-springs). It's a deep dive into Pran's psyche and how he approaches both being wanted and also wanting someone else. The author calls this a mess but I prefer the term masterpiece.

I will also always re-read yield strength by el_em_en_oh_pee. It's just a phenomenal piece of introspective Pat POV and joy and meaning he finds in the relationship between him and Pran.

Believe it or not, I only read from the tide by fruti2flutie (@fruti2flutie) for the first time yesterday, but it instantly flew up to the top of my list. I was hooked from the first sentence and couldn't stop reading it despite the veeeeery long list of tasks I had... (I, uh, did not accomplish them)

OK, I gotta pick a last one then, huh? Then it has to be In Bloom by onstoryladders (@onstoryladders). I'd not heard of Hanahaki Disease before I read this fic (I know, I live under a rock) but I adored what onstoryladders did with it. The Pran perspective in this fic was absolutely incredible and so many moments stand out in it.

Ok I lied, it wasn't the last one. Yes I know there isn't meant to be more than five but I just wanted to do a cheeky little bonus shoutout to: all i ever need by sanflvr. It was one of the first fics I read in the BB fandom - an alternative (and even more devastating) end to episode 4. What can I say, I love people stuffing as much angst into Pran as that boy can fit (which it turns out, is a hell of a lot).

[rogersstevie]

fic rec

title: I need some meaning I can memorise author: el_em_en_oh_pee pairing: zayn/louis/harry words: 8273 summary: It's potentially embarrassing, but Harry is pretty sure that he's in love with the guy who works in the cubicle next to his. Zayn is just... well. There's a good chance that he's perfect. He's gorgeous and smart and funny. And he has a boyfriend. And that's fine in theory - Harry doesn't plan on acting on his crush - but then he finds himself stuck in a car with the two of them, and pretending like Louis doesn't exist gets a lot harder. ao3

[mdzsao3]

the triumphant conclusion of trouncing your biggest rivals

[ao3 link]

[theficpusher]

In A Safe Place by berzerkshires | E | 2450 Being a great sister meant helping her little sister in any way on her wedding day....even if that meant stepping into her old church with a new friend.

Do You Think You're What They Say You Are? by spacesbetweenseconds | M | 6444 Besides, he thought to himself behind his wax-figure smile as he told her yes, what would Jesus do? Oh, right. Jesus would’ve died. Hence, Holy Week. Louis is a regular churchgoer who gets asked every year to direct the play the children’s church program puts on for Holy Week. Harry, unbeknownst to Louis, is new in town and has volunteered to help out this year with corralling the children. In which children are adorable and say the darndest things, Harry is tragically good-looking and extremely domestic, and Louis is just a little bit fucked.

worship like a dog by kingsoftheimpossible | nr | 6685 "Forgive me, Father," Louis says, quiet wavering voice flowing through the sanctuary like an electric charge, "but I just can't stop sinning."

And If God Called Me a Sinner (I Wish I'd Listened) by musiclily88 | T | 7172 Schoolboys tease each other, don’t they? So Liam shouldn’t feel guilty about it, or the fact that he can’t stop his cheeks from flaring pink every time Louis so much as looks at him. Right?

you got me touching on your body. | nr | 11732 "You're so fucking beautiful, Haz.." Louis whispered and the church was so still that he could hear his shuffling underneath him as he moved closer, shoulders bumping into his legs. "I'd worship at your fucking feet if you let me." "You're drunk.." Harry breathed out. aka Harry and Louis are sons of two top mob families that enjoy each other's company a little too much.

you're stumbling like the nazarene by sarcasticfluentry | E | 13213 Harry hasn't had an orgasm in six weeks since he gave them up for Lent. On Easter Day, he has five.

a cage for every ugly spirit by sarcasticfluentry | E | 15751 First-year uni student Harry gives up orgasms for Lent, featuring a cock cage and weekly prostate milkings on Sundays. Warning for religion kink.

Pray Till I Go Blind by el_em_en_oh_pee | E | 18988 Louis is (kind of) a preacher. Harry is (probably) a demon. Of course, nothing's as simple as that. This is not a love story.

[luckymoonly]

Favorite fics - June 2022

☆ he loves me (not) by soultana

32k, rated T, hanahaki AU beautifully written.

☆ Come to the harbor of your longing by occultings (microcomets)

32k, rated E, Modern AU with a beach, fossils and hot smut.

☆Rattling our cages by danegen

66k, rated E, ABO AU with delicious smut.

☆Back to bite one by diamondbruise

21k, rated E, case fic with a few traumatized Lan Juniors.

☆And for a while you might not like him, but I do by SallySPT

3k, rated G, Time travel AU with future WWX visiting his teen self.

☆In picture frames; in dirty dreams by el_em_en_oh_pee

17k, rated E, Modern AU with Wangxian trying "vanilla" everyday.

[mdzs-fic]

Additional Tags: 

Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Cultivation in Space, Science Fantasy, Lighthouses

Word count: 20k

Summary:

Wei Wuxian has been left largely to his own devices on his planet's lighthouse, with only his trusty android friend W3N Qing for help. But a "surprise" site inspector is coming, probably to check if he's been breaking any intergalactic statutes in his work. And so he's preparing for the inspector's arrival.

What he's not prepared for is Lan Wangji.

[dictacontrion]

"Do you always keep your plants unwatered?" he asks. "I... what?" "And your bookshelves, they're dusty." "They're Hermione's books," Harry says, sharply. "Why are you here?" "Trying to bring life back into your existence!" Malfoy says, brightly. "As I've told you time and time again. Which will ensure my rise in the Ministry, et cetera, et cetera, culminating in you being happy, thus making the Wizarding world happy, especially with me. And then I get my fortune back. Are you gay?" "I don't even want to try to follow your chain of reason-- what?" "Are you gay?" Malfoy enunciates. "No," says Harry. "I'm not. Are you?" "Not at all!" Malfoy says. "Which is a pity, as that might make livening you up a bit easier. What's your take on prostitutes?" "I am-- MALFOY," Harry shouts. "You can't expect m-- you can't expect to make me happy or lively -- which, I might add, I don't need, as I'm perfectly happy and quite alive -- with sex!" Malfoy frowns. "Right," he says. "You're... are you even human?" "No," Harry says, tightly. "I'm actually a Bowtruckle." Malfoy pauses, stares at Harry. "There's hope for you yet.

a mix of snow and petals by el_em_en_oh_pee