#elf but add more bug please

[beanysprout]

knelfin!

[kaluxsims]

If things were better, I could be all "Happy Pride!" here, but Pride Month is tough this year. I'm not happy. I'm sad, scared, and angry. Right-wing American politicians are doing everything they can to endanger trans people. The main focus of their attacks is trans kids. There are all kinds of lies being spread about what it means for children to be transgender and what gender affirming care for them looks like. Like all children, trans kids are figuring themselves out. Supportive, compassionate parents understand this and let them dress how they want. That's what's at the heart of my first Pride Month post this year.

Today's download lets ALL children wear ALL EAxis children's clothes. I did this to go along with all of my child CC being CU from now on. (Well, from a month or two ago on.) I have more to say about real life trans kids, so please read on after the download.

It's very simple. All EAxis kids clothes are now unisex. Many of them should have been from the start. What's masculine about a dark red Western shirt? And why can't a boy wear pink if he likes it? All kids should be allowed to express themselves how they like.

There's no swatch here, so have some Body Shop previews:

There are similar mods out there, but mine doesn't require any special installation (just put it in Downloads) and there's an All-In-One option if you have UC or all EP's and SP's. I got so much help from @goingsimcrazy and @potentialfate-sims while I was working on this. Thanks again, both of you!!

Note: DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU USE DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS THAT CHANGE THE MESH. It works fine with replacements that only change the texture.

'Nother note: Several EP's don't add any children's clothes, so there isn't a package for those EP's in the pick-n-choose version. Nothing's missing except for the xmas elf costumes, because...I hate them. Sorry. They're mostly unisex already, I think. I have hiders for them in my game.

Download:

UC/All-In-One: SFS or MediaFire

Pick & Choose: SFS or MediaFire

So back to my rant about trans kids...

Anti-trans propaganda will try to tell you that evil queers are out to convert your kids. That's a lie. We don't want to make cis kids trans. We want trans kids to live to be trans adults. You can't make a cis kid trans any more than you can make a trans kid cis. Kids are who they are. I was once a femmy little boy in an AFAB body, roughhousing in a princess dress and happier playing with boys than girls most of the time. My parents, and everyone else, saw it and called me a tomboy...despite the princess dress. I'm very lucky to have had parents who let me express myself and didn't care if I ran around in the woods, as long as I took my tights off first. Trying to suppress or change kids just makes them miserable, and sometimes miserable kids die. It breaks my heart that there are parents who would rather have a dead child than a trans child.

If I could get one message to everyone this month, and have it sink in, it would be that NO ONE is doing gender confirming surgery on children. (Unless they're intersex and get mutilated without consent, in the name of conformity.) Even teens, who may be on puberty blockers or other hormones, don't have access to gender affirming surgeries. In America, it takes years and lots of money to have these surgeries. It's not something that's done lightly or on a whim.

That's an aspect of anti-trans rhetoric that bugs me deeply, "What if it's just a phase?" It almost never is. Gender affirming surgeries have some of the highest patient satisfaction ratings of any surgery. Higher than hip replacement and many other completely accepted surgeries.

Surgery is, again, beside the point when we're talking about trans kids. Say a nine year old realizes they're trans. All that changes is their clothes and hairstyle, and maybe their name. As they get a little older, they might be put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers were developed for cisgender children who start puberty too soon. All these medications do is delay it. Once they're stopped, puberty starts back up. If the child changes their mind, it's as simple as not taking the blockers anymore.

A related truth is that trans people aren't the only ones who get gender affirming care. A cis woman who gets breast implants and a cis man taking testosterone for "low T" are both receiving gender affirming care. They don't face the stigma or roadblocks that a trans woman getting breast implants or a trans man taking testosterone face. I don't hear about American politicians trying to outlaw Viagra or Brazilian butt lifts or any of the other things cis people are allowed to do to feel "more like a woman" or "more like a man". Why should it be different for trans people?

I'll try not to go off on a tangent about how transitioning while young leads to "passing" (looking cisgender) more easily, but it does. And that can mean safety and acceptance. Passing shouldn't matter, but it often does. Forcing a young person, especially a trans girl, to go through puberty twice is cruel and potentially dangerous.

Going back to my personal experience for a moment, the idea of female puberty and "becoming a woman" horrified me as a kid. If I'd been offered the option of puberty blockers, I'd probably have taken them. I started developing breasts when I was nine and was forced to wear bras when I was ten. My adolescent and teen years were pretty horrible overall, and gender issues were part of that. I had the "not like the other girls" feeling, but knew by then that I wasn't 100% boy either. Maybe that would have been different if I hadn't gone through puberty with estrogen. I think sometimes about the man I might have been if I was younger and grew up in a world with more trans awareness. I had no idea about genders beyond the binary back then, but I recognized that there was something boy-ish about me. My friends, family, and other people saw it too. I was who I was, who I am. I'm so very lucky that my parents didn't try to force me to be girlier. Those years were hard enough.

Childhood is hard, and repressive, oppressive adults make it so much harder. I hope all the trans kids out there either have support at home or find it where they can. I wish we lived in a world where we could all just accept each other and live our lives. I want everyone to be safe and feel loved.

I could go on and on about various trans issues, but I think I've made my points about trans kids. Respect and protect them. They're valid and they deserve to grow up to be who they know they are.

[I have zero tolerance for transphobia. I will block and report anyone who replies to this with anything anti-trans.]

[idkyourleastfavoriteartist]

SPOILERS FOR THE MOST IF NOT THE WHOLE SHOW OF THE DRAGON PRINCE (mostly season 5) THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS THEORY (crack theory) BUT SOME THING I JUST THOUGHT OF SO PLEASE DON'T TAKE TOO SERIOUSLY!!!!! (if you want to know more i could speak about it more)

You know the theory that aaravos is actually talking about sir sparklepuff (the being) not viren at the end of season 5 and how alot of people think that sir sparklepuff magic is fading but instead what if sir sparklepuff magic is increasing so their insect / butterfly look could fade away and they could be more elf / human looking though time (the spell that aaravos and viren did) and this can make some sense because when aaravos is talking about sir sparklepuffs mortal existence fading (if we're assuming that aaravos was not taking about viren but sir sparklepuff ) then instead of them dying what if he's talking about sparklepuff becoming immortal because of their star touch elf blood/dna and it would explain the reason why aaravos calls them his child because if sir sparklepuff was just some spell that would go away naturally threw time then aaravos wouldn't have called them his child because its a collective agreement that aaravos doesn't care about life itself but he does care alot about love and loyalty so its so weird that him of all people would humanise sir sparklepuff and aaravos 100% knows that him humanising sir sparklepuff calling them there child to viren would not work out for him in the end if he really wanted viren to do the spell he would just tell him and he would have 100% done it but due to aaravos never lying that could be why he calls them that and him wanting viren to kill sir sparklepuff could be a test because after him using dark magic for the first time (in a long time) he had nightmares and he realised that he's going down a dark path and that hes done with everything (including aaravos) so that means he could have no one else to control so basically he baby trapping him not to mention they are already growing and having a more human / elf looking form when compared to their caterpillar form from season 3 so i feel like the more they grow the more from the dark magic (which has both viren and araavos blood / dna) leading to a less bug looking sir sparklepuff (please give them a proper name in season 6) and i believe that sir sparklepuff talking also something that could support this because its shows them being able to have their own personality and being more than a spell.

Extra notes:

ALSO THIS IS JUST A THOUGHT I DOUBT IM RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING LOL.

Tbh the only reason why this came up in my head is because aaravos says the truth but in the most weirdest ways possible.

I did a different way of colouring and i actually like this new way of doing it but its still not perfect though.

Any way due to this thought in my head i decided to draw a more elf/human hybrid (even though they are technically are already that) for sir sparklepuff for when they are older (also even though everyone calls sir sparklepuff a boy but i think a non binary sir sparklepuff is amazing and is one if not my favorite head canon)

Also sorry if i got any info wrong or any gramma wrong i just started typing this out because it was in my head for a bit i just find this a interesting idea.

If you have anything to add on or say PLEASE do.

[bobpiner]

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[felassan]

Jon Renish (Foundation Technical Director @ BioWare, working on DA4) recently did a Twitch stream where he played through some DAO. Although he works on DA, this is his first time playing through DAO. He’s playing through it looking at random details from a dev perspective as he’s currently working on DA4 and therefore wants to know more about the previous games.

On the stream he mentioned some tidbits on the development of DA4. There were also some insights and anecdotes about the development of DAO and similar. It’s a 3 hour stream so I collected them here in case that’s of use to anyone (for example not everyone can watch streams which don’t have subtitles/captions). The stream is a fun/interesting watch though, so if you’re curious or able to watch I recc doing so. 😊 The rest of this post is under a cut for length.

Please note that there’s some paraphrasing on my part, this is not a transcript.  There are also some additions from another dev who featured on the stream to give some commentary. The stream also contains more snippets that at times I couldn’t make out (I tried my best!).

(There is a mention of Cullen’s VA in the text below.)

DA4

Jon said he can talk about things about DA4 that aren’t “consumer-facing”, but he can’t say anything about the game that would be consumer-facing but which isn’t already publicly available. There are several reasons for this. One, that’s not his job, there are people whose job this is and they let each other do their respective roles. Two, BW are a publicly-traded company, so if he said something that could affect that that would be insider trading. Three, they’re not done making DA4 yet, so if he said that they have added [x] to the game and people got all excited about that or pre-ordered on that basis, but [x] ended up being cut, people would be like ‘BioWare lied to us’, when it’s just that things changed during the course of development, as is often the case

He’s glad that fans are excited for the game but notes that fan expectations are always double-edged. It can be really tough as some people started ‘playing’ the game in their heads as soon as they heard of it. That’s fine, he loves that, but he hopes that peoples’ expectations don’t turn into requirements. Clearly BW have alluded to certain characters, like Solas, being in the game, but some fans say things like “If [say] Morrigan isn’t in the game, then, rahhh!” Y’know, there’s a lot of talk about how certain characters have to be in the game, and yeah.

On characters which are quantum (i.e. characters which can die or which can have similar end-states as death in previous games): their being quantum makes it really hard for the devs to work with those characters in subsequent games. The devs naturally aren’t going to put as much effort into characters which could have died previously. A character can have had an amazing appearance throughout/role in a previous game, but if there is a risk of something happening to them and of them being removed [effectively] from the plot, it just doesn’t make sense to have them as a major character in a subsequent game. If a character can, say, sacrifice themselves in some glorious ending, the devs have to make sure that if they use them again, in worldstates where the character didn’t do that, the character is kind of ‘muted’, as the devs don’t want to disrespect the players who made a different choice

A comment in chat expressed a wish for Shale in DA4. Jon’s response is that he has no idea on that front

Bugs don’t come out of crunch, they come out of development in general. Crunch does impact on the quality of a game though. In recent years BW are always really trying to reduce crunch, they’re currently working really hard to bring it down. The best way of doing that is by controlling scope. As creatives it’s tough to balance wanting to make great stuff and be industry-leading with the desire to constantly do extra passes over things they’ve created like the audio, art etc. Their biggest enemy is time, other ways of reducing crunch or time spent in general include iterating tools to make often-repeated processes as time-efficient as possible

I think the following was an observation on the industry in general as opposed to a BW-specific/-exclusive comment: he thinks that as a result of this sort of thing [working to reduce crunch], a lot of games are going to have to be smaller and a lot more focused in scope i.e. the devs will have to focus on hitting the key selling points of that particular game/series as hard as they can, and cut down on branching out sideways/wide on a bunch of random other stuff

Jon doesn’t personally engage in character creators in games, but he knows that for some players that expression is worth a lot of time and focus. BW want to be industry-leading in this kind of stuff as it’s something which is interesting/key/integral to their games

In a way BW have made their own nest of problems what with every DA game being so different to the previous one. Still, he notes that each game has a staunch fanbase that says that their particular favorite game is the best one in the series

He doesn’t want people who think that DA4 isn’t what they want to buy it and be upset - there are so many other great games out there! BW are going to make the game they’re going to make - if some people like it, that’s great, and if some people don’t, that’s cool. Sometimes waiting until reviews are out and/or really seeing beforehand if a game is something that you want [has things/features in it that you want] prior to getting it - as opposed to jumping right in or pre-ordering - is a good idea. Fans don’t always know what they want, but they do know what they like - these are 2 different things

He hopes that whatever they ship for DA4, people go “I enjoyed this experience”, and that then, if there’s additional content for it down the road, people can decide, “do I want this further content?”

On hair: BW are using the new hair technology in the latest version of the Frostbite engine, so they’ll see what they can do! This was said in response to a comment about the hair in the latest FIFA games (as EA make FIFA)

A comment in chat asked about a flying mechanic (griffons). Jon’s response is that flying is such a heavy gameplay mechanic that you can’t put it in a game without everything in the game being built about it (see Anthem)

Relating to the above comment, in DA4 mounted combat would be cool but then they’d have to make the game ‘around’ mounted combat and make the mounted combat feature meaningful

On the underwater concept art: it should not be interpreted as a promise of gameplay. BW have amazing artists who sit down for a couple weeks while they’re in early production and just draw loads and loads of all kinds of stuff. Concept art is like a moodboard or Pinterest board. Elsewhere in the stream he advised, take all the concept art together like a mosaic and ask, ‘what is the overall theme[s] here?’, and to zoom out from individual details. [This stuff echoes PW’s word on concept art]

BW don’t generally write things or the choices as bleak as the choices in DAO were anymore. This is a conscious choice on their part, they want their game to be fun [note: this was said when the side quest in Orzammar where the Warden has the option of convincing a dwarven mother to abandon her young baby to die was being played through. It seems to refer to intensively grimdark choices/beats of this kind]

I think this was more of a general comment on games: SSDs (solid state drives) mean that players will see shorter elevator rides (Mass Effect - was this a reference to the remaster?) and fewer switchback corridors (those are actually loading zones). Generally, these are going to change mechanically the time it takes to do stuff in games

The devs have lots of features on their backlog that they’d like to offer players but each will ofc involve implementation and subsequent maintenance, and each one that is chosen to add is being chosen over something else. And sometimes, it’s hard for them to tell if [x] feature or [y] feature would be better to add to the game

They’re about to work on a giant feature (a pure tooling feature, something that isn’t consumer-facing) that is probably going to take ~2 staff years of effort [I think “staff effort” includes multiple staff working concurrently, so 2 years of staff effort doesn’t = 2 years of time chronologically] to get done in the next few months. They’re investing all this effort across the people working on it because they don’t want their artists and designers etc to have to deal with the problem that it’s going to solve anymore. I’m not sure what this feature is but elsewhere in the stream they referred to tooling and automation and gave the example of, the better your tooling is, the fewer times you have to manually set the camera for a human vs elf vs dwarf position, for dynamically-generated [cinematic?] content and for the first pass to be automated (if this is the case, less time is spent/wasted on redoing it and manually touching it up) [see last bullet point in this section]

He doesn’t know how big DA4 is going to be but said “let’s ballpark and say like most games it’ll be somewhere between 70 and 100 GB”

If we kept our Wardens as the PC throughout all 3 games, at the end they would be so powerful that it’d be a bit like “Let’s just do [thing], I’ve killed gods before, whatever”. He thinks it’s good that they have fresh characters each time in DA in order to reset that power level. Some people want more Commander Shepard in the next Mass Effect and he feels like, ‘what else could you possibly want / what else could that character possibly do after 3 games?’

When asked how much freedom he/they have now to focus on next gen, he said that there’s actually almost no difference on that front. The problems never change. They now have better renderers, better ray-tracing, better graphics cards etc, but they have always made DA games for high- and low-spec PCs, so it’s actually about gameplay systems. The freedom isn’t power-based and them getting access to more cores and more RAM generally isn’t going to change how the games are played. The games still have to be made for hard drives on PC. Dev creativity matters more than power here. The challenge of building a BW game is more about/from managing loads of different plotstates, loads of different art pieces, etc

On the title situation (two): names are the last thing they worry about because names have to go through legal before being approved. Every name, including character names, has to be checked in case it’s a famous person, or associated with something bad, or offensive in a different language due to localization etc

They don’t do face scans of people with big beards

There was also a bit about changes/developments to/in the cinematic design process and associated tooling [?] but I found it too hard to follow sorry >< This bit of commentary begins at timestamp ~ 1:52:45 and continues til ~ 2:00:05 [keep listening through the bit where they pause for a cutscene]

General BW

There’s currently ~350 staff in Edmonton, ~200 in Austin and more elsewhere

He notes that DA games sell pretty well, but relative to EA games in general, they’re a drop in the bucket compared to FIFA

DAI

5% of players of DAI never created a character [Q: does this refer to people who just used the default appearances/presets with no editing, or people who only played multiplayer?]

The mounts don’t actually go faster than running, this is an illusion

I think they said it has 55,000 lines of dialogue. [I’m pretty sure I remember devs elsewhere saying it has 80,000 lines of dialogue]

One of the companions had to have their name changed during development because of legal/translation reasons. It sounds like the original name sounded too close to something offensive

DA2

Back when DA2 was internally code-named “Nug Storm”: this was at the beginning when it was pitched to the team on a set of slides. The image on the slide for that pitch had devil horns, a metal hand and no flesh, it was just made out of fire and flames

DAO

The engine DAO is made on is the third engine that they tried for it during development. [David Gaider has gone into the DAO engine stuff some on Summerfall’s series of DAO playthrough streams]

The cracks on the cracked eluvian asset are modelled after the crack on the Tardis in Doctor Who from around that time, as at the time some devs had been talking about Doctor Who a lot. A dev actually added this factoid to DAO’s entry on TV Tropes but someone else (evidently not a DA dev) came by and deleted it saying that it was too much of a stretch x)

Before the game had its name there was an HTML script that randomly generated possible titles for consideration, it adds verbs and nouns together e.g. “Grim Dark”. One of the craziest possibilities that it once generated that the devs always remember is "Bone Wind”

One of the portraits that’s used for decoration around the world in-game (it’s of a bearded human man) is actually of a specific BW staff member

He played through Stone Prisoner, where Wilhelm’s son Matthias gives exposition in the cellar. Matthias is voiced by GE and this had been pointed out to Jon earlier on. Jon: “I don’t think that character’s voice acting was super strong there”

On the in-game area towards the end of Stone Prisoner: Outdoor areas in games are large and one of the things needed for them is streaming, so different chunks can be ‘streamed in’. There’s a tower [?], and technically the top of the tower was made an outdoor level so that sky stuff could be there, though it didn’t really need to be. The person that made it an outdoor level chose the very smallest chunk size for the terrain mesh, which determines how fine of a streaming they do. So when playing, every time you moved like 4 meters, the game would stream out 50-100 chunks behind you and the same in front of you (this is the bubble around the player of what actually exists). Because it was so small, it was constantly thrashing the CPU and disc to do all the loading. The devs were like “this isn’t going to work”, but they barely had any time. The solution: they made a new level that was outdoor and copied all the sunlight and other settings, but with the largest chunk size. They copy-pasted the entire level from one to the other. The problem with that many chunks then is that there was a giant expanse of flat terrain sticking out of the middle of the tower. They didn’t know if the story was going to involve shots of the outside of the tower for this sequence or not, so they took the terrain deformation tool and bundled all the terrain vertices at the bottom of the tower in a giant clump. So to this day there’s a mess of vertices and twisted terrain at the bottom of the final level that probably no-one has ever seen [not sure though if this anecdote is in reference to a place in that DLC or somewhere elsewhere in the game?]

There were also some tidbits on Anthem, however I didn’t note them down (sorry).

If you think I misheard or misunderstood anything from this stream please let me know and I will edit/fix it. :) 

(Thankyou to some of my friends who explained a tech detail from this to me.)

[source]  <-- current rewatch link

[numptypylon]

Epilogue

I added a short epilogue to Reunion and Intersection today, but I also wrote a much longer one, full of fluffy comfort, to get through the angst-writing in the first two chapters. It’s unedited, unfinished and ridiculously self-indulgent, and I don’t think it really goes with the story, so I elected to not post it, but I’m attaching it here, under the cut, for those interested. Keep in mind it’s a reject for a reason though; this is what my writing looks like in the explorative phase where I’m looking for the point, and in this case I didn’t really find it XD

~2K under the readmore

Callum got there early. A lot of people eyed him warily, but a letter from Queen Janai was a good smoother-of-grumpy-elf-tempers.

No-one had seen Rayla, so… she was probably not here yet.

He went to the inn, bought a large room, lit a roaring fire in there, activating the Sunfire rock he used to keep warm at night under the covers of the bed, and calling for the tub to be filled. It had the usual Skywing heating arrangement, only needing a good Fulminis to heat the water.

He resisted flying out to find her. He risked missing her again, and her leaving town before he got back.

It was about… hitting the point of intersection.

So, he waited at the city gates. He didn’t have to wait nearly as long as he expected, considering the distance she would have had to traverse. Maybe she had recovered and had travelled faster than he thought.

It was definitely her though. A small, lone figure on the mountainside.

He intended to wait for her until she got to him, but then she stopped to lean against a tree and he realized that she had not recovered and was up there sick in the snow… and that resolve evaporated like it had never been.

Like he would ever let her struggle alone a moment longer than she needed to.

 **

 It was a measure of her exhaustion that she didn’t notice him until he was basically right in front of her, and even then, her reaction was so much slower than usual.

It still… it was hard to believe it was real. For her too, surely more so.

He numbly pulled his scarf off, packing it around her neck and head. He grazed her cheek and felt it and she felt it and… she felt it, because the tears that had built up in her eyes spilled over at his touch, slipping down her dirty and flushed cheeks.

She looked ready to drop, and felt it too, when he put his arms around her and her disbelief gave way to relief. Whatever ridiculous level of stubbornness had kept her upright for the last day and night of walking through snow and up mountains when she should have been in bed… fell away and she slumped almost completely in his arms.

She sobbed hoarsely for a bit, and he let her.

And she let him, when his hand cupped the back of her head and her hair tickled his fingers and it hit him too that… it was really real, she was here.

They needed to… get to the inn though, so he pulled away and wiped his face. They could… and probably would… have a longer cry and a longer hug later. But she was sick and cold and there was a roaring fire and a filled bathtub two minutes of flight away.

“Let’s go,” he said. “I knew you were coming this way and that you were sick. And I booked a room for… you.” For them both, he hoped, but-

“What?” she blubbered. “But… aren’t… aren’t you mad?”

“I mean, of course I am, but… that’s not really… that can wait.”

“I’m…” she laughed weakly, more tears spilling over. “I’m so happy to see you and there’s… so many things I would like to say and… and I’m such a mess right now and so tired and I’m just… I’m so tired I cried earlier just because a stupid pine branch hit me in the face and knocked me off my sled and it continued down the mountain without me and I’d have to walk instead and-“

“Hey, hey!” He stroked down her flushed, wet cheeks, along fresh scratches where presumably that branch had hit her. Sledding, huh… she always was extremely resourceful and oh so daring. And that explained how she got here so fast. “Rayla, it’s okay. You can rest first. I’ll take care of things… of you. For as long as you want me to, but… definitely for the next few days.”

“How c-can you… are you… here-”

He leant his head against her forehead, relishing in the feeling of contact, even if her skin was clammy and too-hot. “That’s… complicated,” he said. “And also simple. You called me here. I came.”

“Manis. Pluma. Volantis.”

 **

 She staggered, when they set down, steadying herself on his shoulder, and Callum was glad he had elected to land in front of the inn instead of at the city gates.

She definitely wasn’t well yet, her breath rasping in her throat, her forehead beading with sweat, cheeks and ears flushed. The fever had maybe broken, but it hadn’t quite left. And she was exhausted, trembling with the effort of staying upright, her eyes dull and glassy.

People were staring, when they went inside, but the innkeeper came over and recommended the soup of the day, and their house-made herbal tea blend with Sky Yak milk, and assured them it would be brought to their room shortly, with a look of very obvious sympathy at Rayla.

And then the door shut behind them.

“I owe-” she started, but he cut her right off.

“No. You’re owed,” he said tightly.

“Owed what?” She sounded… nervous.

“Soup. Hot tea. A warm bed and a fire someone else made. General fussing. Love. Forgiveness. Kindness. A damn break, for once.”

“L-love?”

“Yeah, love.”

Her clumsy fingers fumbled at the clasps of her armor. They were still ice cold when he touched them, the skin red and no-doubt sore.

But she for once didn’t resist any help he gave, sinking gratefully into the tub he had prepared. A warm bath was possibly not great for her fever, but… it was pros and cons and he needed to warm up her hands and feet.

She was barely conscious when he helped her back out of the tub, so he just put her down on a towel on the bed, drying her hair as best he could. He at least managed to get her awake to pull off her own wet underwear and pull his clean night shirt over her head.

 **

 “Callum?” she asked, because… she wanted things, and she could have them. “Stay with me? Please.”

He pressed against her back, warm and real.

His hands engulfed hers, big and soft and familiar.

Full of real little details that her brain hadn’t accurately recreated.

The callus at the side of his right index finger, from his charcoal pencil. The scar from a clumsy sparring accident at the second knuckle.

His voice when he said her name and when he told her it was okay.

His kinda… snuffling non-snoring sleep-sound.

And new things, that she hadn’t known to add.

His arms, still skinny, but stronger than they had been.

His too-long hair flopping over his ears.

And things she had yet to find out.

 **

 “Morning-“ she muttered, as she woke, feeling warm. And her throat felt a lot better, too and most of that sticky, gross fever feeling was gone, although there was still some sluggish daze, everything just a bit vaguer and floatier than it should have been.

“Afternoon,” Callum corrected lightly, but there was something not so light underneath. “You slept for… 14 hours. I bet you’re hungry.”

“I bet… you were worried.” That was a long time to worry and not wake her to assuage it but just sit in it, watching her sleep.

She reached out to stroke his furrowed brow. Her hands were bandaged though, so she couldn’t touch him properly. She didn’t remember, but did recall something about Callum saying he had called a doctor, and then she must have conked out pretty hard and slept through it.

She clenched and released her hands experimentally. Seemed alright except for being stiff and sore?

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked, staring down at the thick bandages.

“Except for the illness that nearly killed you because you’re such a massive dummy? Lots of things.” He took her hands, starting to unwind the bandages. “For your hands, hopefully only frostnip. I’m supposed to check that, when you woke, take you back to the doctor if there’s signs of deeper frostbite.”

There was some thick ointment, probably the reason for the bandages. Her hands looked reddened, the fingers a bit swollen, but… not so bad. Nothing was white or black or blistered, so really, nothing to worry about, where frostbite was concerned.

Callum wasn’t satisfied with a visual inspection though, cupping her hands in his, methodically checking she could feel all her fingers and make a full fist.

“I think it’s okay,” he said, breathing out, relieved. He did tend to catastrophize- “No… no risk of amputation this time-” His fingers slid across her left wrist, the faint whitened scars from where the binding had dug into her skin and where the sunforge blade had burnt her.

“It’s definitely okay,” she said. “Barely hurts.” She cupped his face, feeling his skin just fine against her fingertips. “It’s not like back then, okay?”

“How do you feel today?”

“Better. Way better. I’m ready to go, if-”

“What?!” He stared at her in disbelief. “Absolutely not. You didn’t hear what the doctor said. But I did, she got here while you were sleeping. And absolutely not.”

“What-“ Was it not just a regular bug?

He breathed, slowly and deliberately. “You’re okay, it’s a regular winter infection going around. But you did a number on your own immune system with the hypothermia and mountain climbing and… she said you were undernourished, dehydrated, stressed and critically exhausted. And that you would do well to take a week or more to fully recover, during which you should eat and rest plenty, stay warm and keep stress down. Does that sound like your regular travel, to you?”

Well… not so much.

“So, I’ll ask again, how do you feel today?”

“Tired,” she sighed. “My hands are stiff and achy. My throat hurts. My legs are wobbly. My head feels full of snot.” She smiled, despite all that. “My heart is happy to see you. It’s okay if you’re- I know… that it’s complicated.”

“It is. We have… some things to talk about. Promise you won’t leave until we do?”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Then, I think we should put the complicated things away for a few days. Until you’re better and it doesn’t hurt your throat to talk. Because… we have a lot of talking to do.”

“You don’t… need to stay. For those few days. If it’s hurting you to-”

He sighed heavily. “It does.” Yeah, he couldn’t say that it didn’t. Being around her with so much… unresolved. She didn’t want that for him. She didn’t… want to have those long and hard conversations right now either, when she was still tired and fevered and liable to burst into tears at the slightest provocation. “But it would hurt me more to leave. Didn’t it hurt you? To leave?”

“Yeah.” So, so much.

He reached out to pack his scarf around her throat more closely, the soft, warm knit a soothing feeling against the raw ache.

“Lie down, okay? Be sick? I’ll read you a story. It has murder and dismemberment in it, I asked the innkeeper specifically.”

[smaidjor]

On Butterflies and Spring (Emptober Day 2)

Summary:

After the success of their first....alliance meeting (date?), Scott decides to set up another one. This time it involves butterflies, the coming of spring, and a little bit of hope amidst all the death and corruption of empires.

With, of course, a healthy dose of yearning.

(Prompt fill for Emptober Day 2: Bug)

Wordcount: 1493

Warnings: none

After yesterday's angst, I felt the need to spoil you guys with a little fluff. So have a cute flower husbands date :).

Fic below the cut:

Rivendell is pretty in the spring, Jimmy thinks as he crosses the bridge. It’s cold, still, far colder than the swamp, but the sun shining above makes the chill a bit more bearable. A few flowers have started to poke out of the ground, little patches of green grass scattered amongst the last of the winter snow. The breeze makes Jimmy shiver, though it smells fresh, like new life.

Scott meets him at the path, dressed far more casually than usual (though he’s still stunning- is he ever not?). His usual white and gold have mostly been exchanged for a blue-green shade, pants that don’t quite reach the top of his boots, though Jimmy has no idea how his legs aren’t freezing.

“Hello, Codfather.”

"Elvenking,” Jimmy returns, grinning a little.

“Please, we’re allies. Call me Scott.”

“Then you should call me Jimmy.”

Scott laughs. “Alright, Jimmy. So, welcome back to Rivendell- I don’t have something fancy set up today, but I thought I’d show you the greenhouse. There’s something special going on,” he adds, winking at Jimmy.

“Something special? Do I get to know what it is?”

“I won’t tell you just yet,” Scott says. He’s fiddling with the hem of his tunic, uncharacteristically anxious. “I hope it’ll be worth it, though, once you see the greenhouse.”

“Is the greenhouse warmer than here?” Jimmy can’t help asking. He’s shivering already, having most definitely forgotten just how cold Rivendell was. This cloak was fine for spring in the Codlands!

“Aww, poor swamp boy is cold,” Scott teases. “Here, have a warmer cloak.” He unbuckles his cloak swiftly, his movements elegant and efficient, and tosses the cloak around Jimmy’s shoulders.

Jimmy struggles for a moment to clasp it, fingers stiff from the cold, until finally Scott sighs and takes pity on him. Jimmy hardly dares breathe as Scott’s fingers brush up against the skin of his neck; Scott’s hands are somehow warm despite the chill of the day and his lack of gloves, though his touch still makes Jimmy shiver, breath caught in his throat.

He’s almost disappointed when the clasp clicks into place and Scott pulls away. “There you go. The greenhouse is warmer, but I know you’re never prepared for the cold- I hope you’ll put up with it for our little alliance date today.”

Jimmy nods, pulling Scott’s cloak tighter around himself. “I can put up with it.” He’d put up with just about anything if Scott was involved, he doesn’t say.

“Good, you’ll have to if you plan on maintaining this… alliance.” Scott gestures to follow him, and Jimmy does, trotting down the neatly made stone path. The elves are so very elegant in their building style, even when it comes to the paths. Jimmy can see traces of Scott everywhere in the architecture- even the buildings he just helped with are gracefully, beautifully made.

They reach what seems like a glass dome, built high on one of the hills. The inside of it looks lush and green, a stark contrast to the bits of snow still littering the ground outside.

Scott pushes open the door, creating a rush of warm air. “Come on in.”

Jimmy’s happy to, breathing a slight sigh of relief at the warmth within. “This is pretty, dude!”

“Thanks, I built it myself.”

“Did you really?”

“Not all of it,” Scott laughs. “But this is one of the newer buildings in Rivendell- I did the design and a fair bit of construction on it.”

“Whoa,” Jimmy breathes. He’ll never fail to be impressed by Scott, over and over no matter how many times the elf does something incredible.

Scott’s expression is as unreadable as ever, but Jimmy thinks he can see a bit of pride hidden in his small smile. “Glad you like it.”

“Like it? This is incredible!”

“You haven’t even seen what I was planning to show you yet.”

Jimmy’s not sure what could make the greenhouse any more wonderful, but he nods anyways. “Lead the way!”

Scott does, showing him over to a part of the greenhouse where a particular plant takes up much of the space. It’s not all that remarkable- the plant itself is merely a common weed. Jimmy casts a confused glance at Scott, who gestures at the varying cocoons hanging from the plants.

“The butterflies,” Jimmy’s ally- allies, and only that, Jimmy tells himself- explains. “It’s getting close to the time where they’ll be emerging from the cocoons. In fact, we should see at least one or two today, if we’re lucky.”

“Oh!”

“Mhm.” Scott sits right down on the grass, patting a spot next to him. “We might be here a while, so I’d sit.”

Jimmy flops next to him, not taking his eyes off the cocoons. “Do you have a lot of butterflies in Rivendell?”

“Only these few. Not many butterflies can live at such high altitudes, but generations of monarchs have been born in Rivendell. They start out so small, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Yep. Just tiny clusters of eggs on the milkweed. And then they hatch into little green caterpillars. They’re so fragile at the beginning,” Scott tells him. “You could crush one so easily if you weren’t careful.”

“Like cod eggs,” Jimmy says.

“Like cod eggs. And they grow, and then they weave cocoons around themselves. It takes a long time, especially compared to the lifespan of a butterfly. You have to be patient.”

Jimmy glances down at where Scott’s hand is resting next to his on the grass, close enough to reach out and take if he was just bold enough. “Yeah. Patient.”

“It takes them a while to emerge,” Scott continues. “They take a long time to come out- like me-”

Jimmy snorts, and Scott cuts himself off with a giggle.

“Anyways. But if you wait long enough, if you’re patient, and gentle, what emerges is something beautiful.” Scott’s tone is almost wistful, and somehow, Jimmy has a feeling he’s not talking about the butterflies anymore.

He swallows his nerves and puts his hand over Scott’s. “I bet they’re gorgeous when they’re all grown up.”

Scott turns to look at him, surprise flitting across his face before it’s replaced with something softer, fonder, that Jimmy doesn’t dare put a name to. “You’ll get to see them soon, hopefully.”

“Either way, I’m glad I came to visit.”

“I’m glad you came too,” Scott says softly. It sounds like he means it.

True to Scott’s word, they don’t have to wait much longer before one of the cocoons starts to shake.

Jimmy’s the one who points it out, nudging Scott’s shoulder and pointing to the cocoon. “Scott, look!”

“Here we go,” Scott agrees.

Butterflies aren’t quick to break free of their chrysalises, but Jimmy can’t say he minds that, not when it gives him a convenient excuse to spend more time with Scott. Scott hasn’t let go of his hand; he doesn’t, even when Jimmy squeezes it excitedly as the butterfly starts to emerge.

The monarch sits on the outside of its cocoon for a while, letting its crumpled wings dry off. Finally, it flaps them out fully and takes the leap of faith off its cocoon.

Jimmy’s holding his breath, but the newly reborn butterfly takes to the air as naturally as if it’s been flying all its life. It flits around him and Scott, circling a few times before it lands on Scott’s outstretched hand.

Scott smiles, wider and more purely joyful than Jimmy’s ever seen him. “Look, Jimmy.”

“Oh! You’re like a butterfly whisperer, dude,” Jimmy tells him. He finds himself smiling too; Scott’s joy at the butterfly is so contagious that he just can’t help it. Scott is even more gorgeous when he smiles, too, which definitely doesn’t hurt.

The butterfly flits away, and Scott brings his hand down to clasp Jimmy’s hand between both of his. “Thank you so much for the date, Codfather.”

Back to formal names. Jimmy’s head spins at the contrast between how Scott’s still holding his hand, gentle, intimate, and the formality of the title. “Well, you were the one who invited me! I should be thanking you, really.”

“It’s not like there was a lot of set-up involved,” Scott teases.

“Still. I had a wonderful time.” Hardly believing his own boldness, Jimmy brings one of Scott’s hands up and kisses the back of it like a knight kissing the hand of their noble. “Let’s meet again?”

Scott flushes, and his voice comes out high and a bit strangled. “I’d love to.”

“Send me an owl,” Jimmy says. “Whenever you want, I can make time.”

“Expect a message soon,” Scott replies. It’s not a promise, but it sounds a bit like one and that’s enough for Jimmy.

He leaves in a flurry of goodbyes and blushing, and it’s only once he’s sweating in the warmth of the Cod Empire does he realize that not once, even walking through the snow, did Scott ask for his cloak back.

[delicatewerewolfsoul]

Lean on me - Seo Changbin

–pairing: seo changbin x reader, bestfriend!chan with appearence of all the members

–genre: fluff, friends to lovers au

–word count: 3.1k

–synopsis: christmas day brought one extra, more special gift that what you wished for.

–for the with love christmas! christmas collab by @hanflix (thanks rue for letting me participate in this) 

You wake up today kind of late, one thought existing in your mind "one day till Christmas". Most people would be super hyper at that time of the year, yet you were kind of bitter this particular year. "Time to spend these two last weeks of this shitty year alone" You say as you stand up from your bed to start your day by making some coffee. You pour your coffee into a cup and you sigh at the warmth your hands feel.

It wasn't that you hated Christmas, actually, you really liked the warmth of the season and how happy and hopeful it made everything seem. This year thought, was a different year. You had finally moved out finally from your parents’ house, but making it difficult to get back this time of the year. "Let's hope these days won't suck as much as I think they will" you say, your coffee now already finished, as you now put it in the sink, ready to start any other activity you could think of to get your mind away from these thoughts. As you leave the kitchen, your phone starts ringing in your pocket. You take it out and smile as you see your bestie's name on it.

"Hey Chan, how are yo-" you say and before you can finish, he cuts you off saying "Get ready loser, me and Felix are on our way to get you". You furrow your eyebrows confused as to why they would even be coming to get you. “Wait, why are you coming to get me? Chan? Hello?” you take your phone away to look at it only to see that he hung up on you. “That loser, he didn’t even say where we’re going”.

You put on some warm clothes since you had no idea where you were actually going to go and what they even had on their mind and waited for them. After no more than 5 minutes you hear some knocking on your door. You open your door and come face to face with the two dorks you called your best friends standing in your doorstep with big grins on their faces that clearly indicated that they were plotting something.

“Felix, please help them get their clothes ready” says Chan and Felix quickly goes into your room, as they both actually knew where you were going, leaving you confused as to why these sudden things were happening.

“Well, I might have rented a cabin in the woods for the Christmas… And I’m getting you there even if you’ll say no”.

He knew that you didn’t want to be a bother to them, but he also knew how much you hated the fact that you had to spent the holidays alone, so with a little help of Minho, he found the perfect solution.

“Oh no, you didn’t have to” you say pouting feeling guilty, knowing that he must have lost loads of time searching to find the perfect place to go. He didn’t even have time for himself and he did this for you? You started thinking about it. There must be something you can do right?

“Is there anything I can do? Anything I can do at least? Let me help with something okay?” getting your bag out of Felix’s hands and Chan looks at him and then laughs at that, and he just pats he side of your arm and say smiling “You idiot, just being there with us is enough… The only favor I want is that you spend time with Changbin okay? He’s been whining that you avoid him”.  

Your mouth turns into a line after that comment as you think about it. Did you actually avoid him? Well, your feelings about him might were kind of complicated this time. You don’t remember avoiding though. Yes, your answers were delayed… and kind of cold, but you were sure it wasn’t on purpose.  You turn your head to side as you try to find what to say to Chan, with a guilty look on your face and he lets out a laugh at your expression and added like it was the simplest thing in the world while opening your front door “You have feelings for him don’t you?” and you clutch your hands around the straps of your backpack tightly out of nervousness since well, he wasn’t wrong.

Felix joins you both as you both after he closes the door to your apartment and places his arm around your shoulders adding “Just talk to him, you already know each other well, there’s no way you will embarrass yourself and who knows… Maybe something will happen” and turns to look at Chan with a weird smirk on his face that you choose to not pay much attention to it.

You get into the back of the car and put your things in, you notice the many grocery bags, and as the always curious bug you were, you turn to ask Chan about it. “Why are there so many grocery bags in here? It’s past lunch time” you say after looking at your watch, knowing very well that Minho wouldn’t let anything be late or have Jisung whining about the food being late.

Chan smiles as he starts the car and Felix says “There are actually are additions for tomorrow, because Minho was in a good mood and cooked more that we actually needed today… And of course, we had everything for today ready before coming to get you cause Jisung is unbearable without his food being ready in the right time” and you all laugh at that cause you both know how he gets and how funny it is to see that happen.

“Now you, curious baby, look outside, because the scenery is very nice and it’ll take us a while to get there” Chan says and turns on some Christmas music as you get into a forest, to get you all in the Christmas mood, and you’re in awe by the scenery: beautiful tall cypress trees, covered with snow, the deep green in contrast with the bright with the bright snow.

And just like that, while your attention was on the beautiful scenery you arrive at the little cabin. As Chan abruptly stops the car, you suddenly come back to reality.  “Wait are we here?” you say “Yes, isn’t it adorable?” Felix adds, super excited about their little discovery, super happy that they actually have time to get away from their stressful everyday life.

You take a look at the cabin and you gasp, astonished the little house in front of you. A little cabin made with dark wood, the tall trees around it making it look even smaller. You have to thank Chan about this. Your love for warm looking houses and the need to get away from your ordinary life, in search of solitude was very well known to everyone that you well enough, it felt like a fresh little wind blew into your life and you couldn’t get enough from it. You let your eyes take everything in, until your eyes land on the window and the reason why it landed there, makes you laugh.

Three pairs of eyes on you behind the glass of the window with smiles on their faces, their smiles getting even bigger as they notice you looking at them, making a motion to you to come in the cabin. You open the front door and you smile in content, the interior of the cabin being exactly as the way you though it would be: wooden walls, the warm light in the center of the room making everything golden and warmer and more festive that it already was. “Whoever decorated in here, did a really good job” you say without even realizing you said and Seungmin comes your way. “That would be me and thank you” he says as he pulls you in for quick hug “no one helped if you’re curious” you giggle at that because of course no one helped, since Seungmin probably had a specific plan on his head about how everything would be. As you pull away from him, you feel a pair of arms around you and you instantly hug that person back.

“Hi Jisung, long time no see” you smile as you pull away and greet the other members noticing that the boy you’ve been looking forward seeing the most, was missing. “Wait, where’s Changbin?” you ask looking around in the room.

“He’s in the kitchen with Minho, probably stressing out about the cookies we left them bake” says Felix and you make your way towards the kitchen, curious about what they made. As you enter the kitchen you start at the way Changbin looks, forgetting every bit of nervousness you had before. He was standing there in a santa apron, taking of cookies from the pan, while Mihno was behind him with an elf apron on, putting some cookies in the oven.

“It looks like you’re having fun here” you point out, and Changbin’s eyes shoot up to look at you his whole face lighting up, taking off his apron on and opens up his arms as he comes closer, giving you a big hug. “I’m happy you’re here” he says next to your ear, and you panic, feeling your heartbeat getting faster and try to collect yourself so you can answer to him. “I’m happy to see you too, it’s been so long right?” you say and then pull away, starting to walk towards the living room where the other guys were located.

“Right, I haven’t see you since last month, but I’m happy that you’re spending Christmas with us today… About today, Felix planned a Christmas movie for all of us to watch and then we’re probably get some sleep hopefully to get ready for the party tomorrow” she says and plops down on the couch. You sit next to him, and continue talking until all the guys join you on the couch, and you feel yourself getting squeezed between Changbin and Jeongin, your whole side touching Changbin, and only that was making you forget how to breathe. He was so close to you, you could feel his warmth, his smell, making you dizzy,

After some minutes, probably sensing how uncomfortable you felt, he tries to smoothly put his around your arms, making you snuggle into him and your eyes turn wide open at the action and you glance towards Chan in panic, to find him already looking at you both, smirking at you both, and at that you remember what Felix said before you left the house and that gives you a pinch of confidence, so you push yourself closer to his side, and you look up at him, and you think you can see a tint of pink on his cheeks as he shyly smiles back at you but you turn to continue watching the movie.

As the movie ends you, Felix closes the TV in front of you and the boys begin to stretch out their limps and you stand up to clean up the bowls from the popcorn you’ve been eating, not being able to stay still, thinking the fact that you stayed in the arms of Seo Changbin for 3 hours.

“Are we gonna do anything else or are you too tired?” says Chan, tiredness evident on his voice and the boys faces. “To be honest, I really want to sleep” says and Jeongin and stands up, the other maknae line following him as well.

“What about you y/n?” says Minho, looking at you. “I think I might stay up a little, I had a really good nap before” you say and the boys agree. “Umm... I think I’ll stay up a little bit longer” says Changbin while rubbing the back of his neck looking at Chan.

“Oh really, why Changbin?” Jisung says with his usual teasing voice. Changbin tenses up, and looks at Jisung with wide, terrified eyes stuttering out a really awkward “because I’m not sleepy of course, haha, why else?” he says and glances your way, to see if you understand anything. You on the other hand were in your own world, thinking still thinking about the fact that in a few minutes, you would be alone with Changbin in the living room, not even noticing a bit of the little crisis that was happening in the other room.

You wash the left-over dishes and walk towards the living room, to see him sitting with his back towards you, on the fluffy white carpet in front of the lit fireplace. As he hears your steps, he turns around and pats the space next to him, asking you silently to join him on the floor. As you plop down, he puts the blanket he had on him, around you as well “Chan gave it to me, said it mind be better if we have it, so yeah” he says and then you both fall in a kind of awkward silence, smiling foolishly at yourselves to the fact that you’re sitting next to each other, feeling like you are teenagers all over again.

“I had a good with all of you today” you start slowly, playing with your fingers trying to follow Felix’s advice, to see if something will actually happen. “It was nice having you here as well, it’s been so long since we last had you around, it was kind of lonely without you” he says hesitantly not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. You smile as you continue to share your thoughts “I thought I would be super alone this Christmas without my parents and now it’s turning into a such a beautiful new adventure, I really like it” you say and Changbin smiles and answers “I’m really glad you like it” and then instantly tenses as he feels your head on his shoulder.

A lot of thoughts cross his mind as he’s waiting for any sign that you’re awake. Did they fall asleep and that quick? Can a person actually fall asleep that quickly? After a few minutes, he sighs, being sure that had in fact had fallen asleep, and starts talking to himself.

“Ughh y/n, I feel so stupid right now. I thought this would b the perfect moment to tell you my feelings, to finally show you my heart, to actually tell you how much I wish you were mine, ho much I want to wake up to your face every morning, make you breakfast even if I suck at it”. Meanwhile you were frozen in place as you heard him, not knowing what to do, cause all of this happened because the back of your neck was hurting and decided to rest it for a bit on his shoulder, and felt content with that position that you didn’t want to move. Now you felt bad for the boy that was pouring out his heart at you, believing that you were asleep where in fact you were awake.

“I really wish I could find sooner the courage to tell you how beautiful you looked that day Chan introduced you to us. You smiled at me and I swear it felt like the sun smiled at me” he says and you snort at the last part, not being able to control yourself, as you never waited him to say something so cheesy.

As he hears the snort, he turns to look at you confused and he freaks out as he sees that you’re awake “I’m sorry, but that was super cheesy, I didn’t think you had in you” you say and in his panic state, he tries to say sorry for everything  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were okay – you probably don’t feel the same way as I do and that’s totally fine, we can keep being friends, you totally don’t have to feel b-“ he says and stops as he feels something soft on his lips.

“You fool, I feel exactly the same as you, I thought you would notice, I was painfully obvious, Seungmin kept teasing me for being awkward around you, same as Chan did” you say and smile at his astonished face, as he looked into your eyes, still not sure if what he’s hearing is right.

“Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?” he asks, wanting to make sure he’s hearing right. “Of course I do, I would never lie about my feelings” you say and he looks at yours eyes, the warm light from fireplace illuminating your face, and the fairy lights from the Christmas tree next to you making everything ten times more romantic and before he can stop himself, his lips are on yours, kissing you slowly, emotions all over the place, happiness evident on both you, with his hand securely holding your jaw.

You pull away, and he keeps looking at your face, taking in your features, while caressing your cheek affectionally, as if he afraid that you’ll fade away. “I didn’t think I’ll be able to do it, I felt such a coward but I’m really glad it turned out this way” he says, a small face on his face, and you smile at him.

“We’re such morons, we could be together since a long time ago, but we just kept focusing in our own feelings to even notice what the other felt” you and say and you both laugh at that. “I’m really glad that from now own you’ll be my partner, it feels like a dream” he smiles and takes you in his arms.

“Btw, did you really think I was asleep before?” you laugh and he pouts, “you know, you seemed asleep, I don’t know”. Well, to his defense Chan had mentioned before that if you feel comfortable enough, you might fall asleep in seconds, so how could you ask that?

“I want to thank you for something though” you say and he looks at you “What for?” he says, not really paying attention. “Well, for being my Christmas gift this year” you smile at him and he laughs, covering his face. “And you call me cheesy” he says pulls you to the ground.

Bonus: In the morning Minho and Chan walk down the stairs calmly, while holding a conversation about the schedule for that day. They both smile at the sight on the living room floor, you two sleeping peacefully in each other’s arms, the white blanket around your bodies, the fire in the fireplace long gone. Chan turns to Minho and says “Told you it would work”

a/n: big thanks to @curanonemu for helping me with the idea of the fic, and giving me inspiration, thanks bud. Also big thanks to @n8dlesoupguk & @cotccotc​ for keeping me sane while I was writing this, lol. Love you all 💖

[the-withering-system]

Okay so this is gonna be our alter intros!

Some of us find it hard to describe ourselves so N, Harley or Remi will help those alters with their info.

This is very long so some words may be messed up or wrong, please be patient with us.

Continue below so this post doesn't get too long

Alright here we go

N

Gender: Trans man, I use he/him pronouns

Sexuality: Bisexual, Demisexual

Species: human

I'm our systems trauma holder and our current host. I like video games, art, books, animals, and am completely head over heels for our partner.

Being the host I tend to be the most active on this blog.

Harley

Gender: Questioning, currently using He/Him pronouns

Sexuality: Gay, demiromantic. Still figuring out what labels work best for me

Species: Non-human hard to explain but I just say I'm a mist guy

I'm a persecutor, still figuring out how to heal but doing good I think. I don't have much to say about myself, I like chocolate and cats? I generally post memes and posts about our anger as I hold most of our anger.

Remi

Gender: Genderfluid, I like using He/She/They pronouns and am looking into some neos I like

Sexuality: I'm pansexual

Species: Elf

Hi, I'm Remi and I'm a caretaker in our system, im usually looking after the littles and younger ones. I also have a big sibling kinda relationship to our older alters. I love colorful clothes and things with alot of accessories!

Elliott

Gender: Trans man, I use only He/Him.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Species: Human

I'm an introject of the bodies partner. I don't really want to add more right now so I won't.

Bug

Gender: Non-binary, I use exclusively He/They pronouns

Sexuality: Bisexual

Species: Human

I was our host for a while before N, I like anime and manga. Also video games sometimes, I like reading the most so yea. I don't post much if at all anymore, I mainly stay in headspace.

Ingo

Gender: Trans man, he uses He/Him pronouns

Sexuality: Asexual, Demiromantic

Species: Human

He is an introject and caretaker of our body. Likes trains, stationery and animals

Emmett

Gender: Trans man, he uses He/Him pronouns

Sexuality: demiromantic, gay

Species: Human

He is an introject and caretaker of our body. He likes trains, stationery, cats, bugs and insects.

E

Gender: Agender, uses She/He/They/It pronouns

Sexuality: AroAce

Species: Non-human, nature spirit

E was our protector for a long time until they found that the role wasn't suited to them anymore. She spends most of her time in headspace.

Sun

Uses He/Him pronouns

He's an internal caretaker, He likes art, games and meeting people.

Moon

Uses They/He pronouns

Sexuality: Gay

He doesn't have a specific role, but helps our host cope with stress.

The Gatekeeper

Gender: Genderless, uses He/It pronouns

Sexuality: AroAce

Species: Non-human

As his name says he's our Gatekeeper, not much to it besides that. Takes his role very seriously.

There's 5 other alters that wish to remain mostly anonymous, we may reference them but they don't want to be added to this intro currently.

That's it for our intros currently! We'll add or remove alters when needed/They request. This is posted with each alters permission.

[moonlighttheravenqueen]

Mistletoe / Ben hargreeves x reader

Yes I was making a christmas one In november WHATEVER!😭😂 but this is actually an early Christmas gift for the most amazing person and writer @justinminstan please please PLEASE follow them😭❤️❤️ ( D/N is Daughter's name and S/N is son's name ) NO I am not dead 😂 I just had really REALLY bad writersblock. Also, sorry if it's a little short!

It's Christmas Eve, it's me and ben's favorite time of year! Not long ago you told him that you were pregnant and he basically cried, he was super overprotective but is an amazing dad. Then you had a daughter and a son, we took them to meet santa and they had a lot of fun, plus I got adorable pictures of them with Santa! And ben on Santa's lap which is by far the cutest.

"Momma! Can I help cook?" S/N asked holding my waist, "Sweetie I've got it, did you help daddy with the wrapping gifts?" He nodded yes. S/N has Ben's facial structure and my personality, D/N looks like the both of us but with ben's brown eyes. They are still young so we don't exactly know if they'll have a mixture of both of our powers or just one.

"It's a gift for you! But I'm not gonna tell cause daddy said not to and it's a secret!" S/N whispered so I played along. "S/N, I thought I said stay with me so momma can cook?" Ben walks in with D/N In his arms, I smiled and kissed him, "Well dinner won't be ready for a little bit so why don't we watch momma's favorite holiday movie?" Ben suggest. The both got excited and we went to the living room. S/N and D/N fall asleep after the movie was over, ben stayed and watched them as I wrapped up some gifts for the kids, "I put them in their room so we are alone." He winked. I laughed and pointed up, he was confused until he looked up and saw a mistletoe, "I love that you are my wife." I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He picked me up and I put my legs around his waist. he started kissing my neck, making me laugh because he knows I'm ticklish.

"Mommy? Daddy? What's going on?" S/N asked looking worried. I got down, pulling our selfs together, "Uh nothing honey!" I said blushing. "Mommy just saw a bug and daddy saved her." He adds, "Okay!" He then ran off, we sighed in relief. "Y/N, do you think we scared our baby boy?"

"He's 5 he'll forget about it tomorrow, it's not as bad as when klaus ran around the academy with a Santa hat and no clothes on, and diego ran after him." I said laughing just thinking about how funny that was. "Let's hope klaus or anyone else gets that drunk this year, I'm gonna get the kids to help set the dinner table." He kissed my check.

Once we finished the we ate, they definitely ate a lot so they'll sleep good tonight, but that won't stop them from trying to stay up and see santa. Luther wanted to dress up as santa and it sounds like a really fun idea.

We gave them a bath, they brushed their teeth and put on their cute pajamas on, ben read elf on a shelf. Ben's voice can put me to sleep very quickly, he picked me up bridal stayed and put me to bed. "Did I fall asleep!?" I forgot I had some more gifts to wrap for everyone at the academy, "Honey I can do it! you've been working all day, plus you need all the rest you can get, the kids are gonna wake us up early so sleep baby." He Tucked me in. I could feel my eyes slowly closing, "But.....what about...the.....the...." I fall asleep before I could finish. "Aww, look at my sleepy baby, you and our babies are the most beautiful Christmas gift I could ever asked for, merry Christmas honey.

7:00 AM, I felt a small feet and hands press on my side. "Mommy! Daddy! Wake up it's christmas!!" D/N yelled as S/N jumped up and down on the bed, I shaked ben up, "Baby wake up." I whisper. He rolled over facing me, he didn't open his eyes, "diego....I'm getting getting naked klaus out of the chimney.." it's so cute when he sleeps talks! "Ben!"

He realized what was going on, "You two couldn't wait until 10:00?" They shaked their heads no, at this point we had no other choice. They saw the cookies we left for santa were eaten, they sat on the floor and we started opening them, S/N gave me a present. It was a necklace with a pink octopus, "Daddy helped! I know you like pink and daddy so yeah!" She smiles sitting on my lap. I opened S/N gift, it's a picture he made of all of us. "Baby it's beautiful! I'll be sure to frame it!" I said squeezing him. Ben opened mine and was really shocked by it, a long black coat, it reminds of Sherlock Holmes but if he was a fashion model. He also got me this beautiful, it's long but so gorgeous! The kids opened toys and seeing the light shine in their eyes always makes the both you feel like you did good, "We're really good parents aren't we?" Ben's said, "The best out of everyone in the academy." I said joked. "Merry Christmas my love." He says kissing me under the mistletoe.

[calligraphist-artemisia]

A Long Day

For Kidgemas 2020. The prompt for December 29 is “Elf on the Shelf”.

Summary: Pidge returns home after another long day of working in retail. Luckily, Keith is there with a cup of hot chocolate and a warm hug.

❄ - ❄ - ❄ - ❄

Pidge groaned as she kicked off her shoes at the front door, letting them land however they pleased on a rug off to the side. All of her muscles ached after her extra long day and there was an uncomfortable pinching sensation in her shoulder, likely from spending over 8 hours lifting boxes on and off of shelves when she wasn't busy frantically running around to try and find items for customers.

“I'm home,” she weakly called out.

Keith stepped out into the main hall from the kitchen with a pair of festive blue-and-white mugs in his hands. “I made hot chocolate. It's Hunk's recipe.”

Pidge took another few seconds to hang up her keys and coat and then shuffled over to her husband and eagerly accepted the cup he held out to her. She took a sip and closed her eyes in bliss. “Mmm, so good.”

“If you like that, then you've love the fire I have going,” Keith said as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and guided her into the living room, where a fire was crackling merrily in the hearth.

“I love you,” Pidge breathed.

“Are you talking to me or the fire?”

Pidge giggled as she turned to him and rose up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek. “I'm talking to you, dummy. This is perfect. Thank you.”

“Well, I heard you had a rough day and figured you deserved a little pampering. Want to sit and you can tell me about it?” Keith asked.

Pidge let him steer her over to the couch. “Are you sure you want to hear my complaining? We could just sit and watch a movie or something instead.”

“You listen to me bitch about Griffin all the time. Besides, a reliable source tells me that a little venting after a stressful day is a good thing.”

“Does your reliable source have a name that starts with 'S' and ends in 'iro'?”

“Maybe.”

Pidge couldn't fight the grin that made its way across her face, nor did she really try and stop it. She happily sat down on the couch and cuddled against Keith once he settled down next to her. She took a few minutes to relax and enjoy the rich hot chocolate before it got too cold and then gave in to the need to complain about the dumb stuff she had to deal with at work.

“People are fucking idiots,” she said.

“Agreed,” Keith said, tapping his mug against hers – an action that elicited a chuckle from Pidge.

“Like, when one person who works at the store says 'sorry, we don't have that in stock', you don't go two aisles down and ask someone else if there are any in stock!” Pidge barely restrained herself from wildly gesturing her frustration, well aware of the hot drink in her hands. “So sorry that we don't have any more of your stupid elves when there's only a week until Christmas! Or any more of whatever popular toy that's been half off all week! Also, if you really want an elf on the shelf, then you'd better get there when we open at 7 and not at noon on a Saturday! Also, we don't have any of the new gaming systems and we're absolutely not hiding them in the back and if I get accused of that one more time I'm going to lose it.”

Keith gently took the mug of hot chocolate from her hands. “I didn't think Elf on the Shelf was still popular.”

“Oh, it is,” Pidge growled. “I don't think I'll ever understand it.”

“Well, if you ask Allura it's a timeless tradition that helps inspire the 'wonder of the season' in children,” Keith remarked.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Oh, honestly. It's not timeless when it only started fifteen years ago! I think it just adds to the stress people feel this time of year. Like, not only do you have to worry about work and finding the 'perfect' presents and managing the household like normal, you want to add setting up elaborate scenes with a toy elf to the long list of shit that needs done?” She pulled her legs up onto the couch and curled them beneath her as she pressed a little more firmly against Keith, who handed back her hot chocolate.

She took a long sip and sighed in pleasure at the warmth that flowed through her. “Maybe I'm being too harsh...”

“Nothing wrong with venting about something that bugs you,” Keith said.

“Yeah, I know. And it's not like I'd ever say any of that to Allura's face, since I know it's something she enjoys doing for the kids. It's just... sometimes it feels like people try and go too over-the-top with Christmas, you know? It's supposed to be this holiday that brings joy to people, but all I see are people that are so stressed out that they're rude to everyone around them. Oh, did you know I ruined a child's Christmas because someone else I work with put out a toy that we're not allowed to sell until next month? A single toy. That isn't released until next month. That said child probably knows nothing about!”

It was only because of Keith's hand over hers that she didn't spill her drink.

“Whoever thought it was a good idea to send new items – especially toys – that can't go out when Christmas is happening is an idiot and deserves to be punched. Preferably in the face.”

Pidge huffed and focused on finishing her drink before it got too cold. Her anger slowly drained away as she stared at the flickering flames and by the time a few minutes had passed, she no longer felt the need to rant about work.

“Feeling better?” Keith asked softly.

Pidge nodded and finally relaxed against him. “Yeah. Thanks, Keith.”

“Anytime.”

[the-thursday]

Can't stop thinking about one thing... The Wargals and Kalkaras where probably the only "fantasy" factor in the whole series. I think it's maybe a little bit shame that we didn't get more fantastic creatures. Like, yeah, I admit it would probably change a spirit of RA, but hey, let's think of this is an AU, I guess.

Imagine if guarding the borders of their fief, dealing with bandits and such things, rogue animals, etc., weren't the only ranger work. I have some idea going on along monster hunters, but not quite that. Not wanting to turn the series into Witcher (though Witcher AU would be phenomenal, okay, shut up Thursday), the encounters with creatures and monsters would be way more rare. And rangers were to deal with them only when it was necessary and humans were threatened.

Just imagine tree spirits in Araluen woods, djinns in deserts of Arrida, Ookami in Nihon-ja, kelpies in Skandia and many other creatures respective to each land and culture.

Basically all these supernatural creatures and so on.

But with no demons and angels and some great magic in general. Just the creatures like imps and so on.

Also, creatures like dragons and such would be something like dinosaurs for us.

Also, as @araluenrangerdanger said "or maybe some creatures don't have to be monsters. They could be sorta familiars? to the rangers, helping them with their duties and such"

Imagine rangers wearing some sort of talismans as well. And having silver arrows as well in addition to their steel ones.

Okay I admit the longer this post is I am straying further from my original idea and topic, so for the sake of this AU, just stick to my first two sentences.

And some ideas for this AU (please, feel free to add!!):

Crowley, on the Gathering: "Okay guys, I swear when I'll find out who let these imps loose free during the examinations..."

-

Halt: "Will, I understand you like dogs and they like you... But I think adopting werewolves is a bit too much."

-

Gilan, loosing his sanity at the sight of some really big bugs and spiders.

Quoting @araluenrangerdanger (with her permission)

"Halt, being the bigger person who's not afraid of them just caresses these big bugs trying to get Gilan come to see them closely (they're not dangerous, of course they're not)

And Will's trying to hide his smile a few feet away until Halt tries to coax him to go see the spider or whatever bug he has now too."

-

Imagine everyone in Hibernia mistaking Will for the trickster Hibernian (Irish) elf

-

And some crazy ideas not included in the original idea (because, like I said, I don't wanna much magic there at all):

Imagine Halt teaching Will something like, "And this is how you draw the protective pentagram" (or whatever that is).

Gilan being this voodoo master.

Gilan having these wild parties with succubuses.

Plot where Morgarath is actually a vampire (he sure looks like it).

And this is all I had to get out of myself. Please, feel free to add your ideas!!

[amintyworld]

All These Years - Sanders Sides TTRPG AU Oneshot

A/N: Hey guys! So… this has been in the making for a while. It’s based on a Sanders Sides Tabletop Roleplaying Game AU (Example: Dungeons and Dragons) by @ask-fantasy-sanders-sides, so if you’re interested you should totally check them out, the amount of detail and work put into it is amazing. A special thanks to Mango, the creator of the AU, for answering my constant messages and questions, thank you so much this fic would not be the same without you! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this angsty fic! - Minty

Summary: Due to his drow blood, Virgil must watch his friends die as the years go by. Will he find happiness in a world without them?

TW: Major Character Deaths, blood, injury, violence, vomiting. (Tell me if I missed anything else!)

———————————

20 years, 8 months, and 15 days. 

That’s how long he’d been alone. Or at least, physically alone.

After all this time he still couldn’t get the image of Logan laying on that bed out of his brain. It was strange.

After Patton had passed, they got closer. They both had lost a lot over the years, and Virgil didn’t want to lose more. He didn’t want that feeling of his heart being ripped to pieces as his family left.

Logan was the only family he had left.

They both spent their days reading books, watching their family grow and grow. The house was always filled with laughter and mysterious messes of various kinds. The house had gotten so big that he and Logan had to be moved to a small guest house next to it. Virgil loved to sit out on the porch in the rocking chairs Patton had made and look at the toddlers and children play in the treehouse Roman constructed to look like a tiny castle. He counted the seconds as the sun rose and fell, watching children and students alike file inside as he stared into space, always giving him a glance before getting through the door.

Sometimes, he’d find Logan up on the hill with the willow, just looking at the graves. Most of the time, he left things - books, pictures, flowers. Virgil always wondered what was going through his mind, what he might be feeling. Logan was not the emotional type, and Virgil just wanted to help him somehow, someway, as the elf had done for him. He always sat with him, not saying a word, holding Logan’s hand in his to give him some kind of comfort.

“I miss them, Virgil.” Logan’s voice was soft. Virgil looked at the graves and sighed.

“I know, Lo,” Virgil said. “I…do too.”

Both sat in a sort of comfortable silence for a few moments, a cold wind blowing leaves and hair around the sound of it filling Virgil’s ears before it calms down once more.

“Virgil, I…” Logan said, holding his necklace - Patton’s gold wedding band on a plain white string around his neck, yellowed over the years - for a bit of comfort. “I can’t help but wonder about Patton, you know - Janus, Remus, Roman…”

“You know that Roman and Remus wouldn’t take their eyes off us for a second, Teach,” Virgil said, smiling as his eyes began to water, thinking of them. “They’re probably still arguing over who died more heroically.”

Logan and Virgil shared a laugh as they both looked into the sky, almost as if expecting to see them. Virgil continued, his chest clenching uncomfortably. “Janus would come to break those two up before they bit each other’s heads off, and then he’d most likely get beat up in the process.” Virgil smiled, a few tears slipping down his cheeks that he didn’t even realize. “Patton… Patton would just look down at us and smile. He’s proud of you, you know.”

“W-well,” Logan said, his voice pained as his grasp on the ring got tighter. “Please excuse me if I don’t find a reason why.”

“Logan, you… you’ve done so much for me, for the kids-” Virgil said. “You’ve been taking care of them, helping them, writing a book - Me? All I’ve done since Patton died is just sit in a chair and watch!”

“Well, at least you actually grieved!” Logan snapped, tears streaming down his face. “I just threw myself into my work and pretended it didn’t matter. That HE didn’t matter-!”

“Logan, I know as well as you that you don’t think that,” Virgil said, looking at Logan with sincerity. “You loved Patton, and you still do. You love him more than anything. You keep his wedding ring around your heart because you do hurt, Logan. You hurt because he mattered so, so much to you.”

Logan wiped away his tears, Virgil at his side, holding his hand. “It hurts a lot, Virgil. It hurts more than it should sometimes.” Logan choked, tears rolling down his face. 

“I…I know, Logan. I know.”

———————-

“Great Grandpa Virgil!”

Virgil’s eyes snapped open as he turned around to the halfling child - Bright red hair, freckles, and green eyes. Virgil smiled. “Duris.” The child halfling rushed in for a hug, and Virgil smiled, laughing a bit as he awkwardly embraced her. “Whatcha doing here, Dur?” Virgil asked his great-grandchild.

“Getting hugs, obviously,” Duris smirked. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Hm,” Virgil smirked. “What do you want it to be?”

That’s how Virgil ended up playing hide-and-seek in his own house - he closed his eyes and tried to smile as he heard the pitter-patter of feet. Duris was an incredibly sweet and determined girl. She visited Virgil every day she could, and Virgil more than appreciated the company. After all, he was barely visited now that the others were gone. 

Years of staying in this house, of watching the days go by, not speaking much to anyone - no wonder some of the kids avoided him. Either out of fear or just a lack of care. The others were better with the conversation, and with them gone, so went the days the house seemed alive with chatter and laughter.

It was hard to believe so long ago he thought he needed no one. Now, for the first time in his life, Virgil was filled with painful loneliness. All he ever did now between visits with Duris was just staring out the window toward the tree on the hill with the gravestones standing tall. All he could do now is close his eyes and revel in memories of joy and compassion. 

Virgil tried pushing the thoughts out of his head as he opened his eyes, slowly moving out of his chair without a sound, listening for breathing. He crept down the hallways of the house, smiling. Duris always had the best hiding spots, but it never stopped Virgil from finding her. He looked under tables and in cupboards and cabinets, and even at the ceiling.

Nothing. Virgil sniffed as his senses flared, and he grabbed the nearest weapon - a kitchen knife. Something was wrong. Duris wasn’t in the house.

Slowly, silently, he moved quickly around the house, listening intently, and following the faintest sound. He quickly scampered up a tree, huffing a bit from the effort. Suddenly he heard a cry and jumped from tree to tree, following it. He jumped the beast from above, pinning it to the floor and quickly holding the knife to its throat. The small beast, about twice the size of the small child, stared down Virgil intently. Virgil’s gaze fixed on the monster, unmoving. 

The beast growled as low as it could muster. Virgil growled lower, barking at it, shaming it for its actions and telling it to never return. He would’ve killed it right there - good meal. But he didn’t want to scare Duris off, and besides, it was just a baby. He let it go as the beast skidded away quickly in fear. He nodded as the thing disappeared into the darkness, a mission well done. 

He quickly turned to Duris. “Are you alright, Dur? Did it hurt you?” Virgil checked the girl over to find a few deep cuts, but Duris scooted away. 

“V, I’m fine.” She waved off, smiling. “That was amazing, Grandpa!” Virgil quickly scooped the child in his arms and rushed back to the house. “H-huh?”

“Dur, you shouldn’t go near the fence.” He responded, getting back to the guest house and grabbing some medical supplies. He quickly pushed Duris down on a nearby table and set to work patching her up. 

“I was just-”

“You were being stupid. That’s what you were doing, Duridili.” Virgil interrupted, using the full name Duris resented. Duris gave him a look, and she sighed. 

“Fine, I was being - ugh!” Duris grunted as Virgil disinfected the wound. “I was being s-stupid. But, I.. I saw these flowers and I thought you’d…” Her breath hitched again. “Press down on the cloth harder, don’t ya?” She snapped a bit, and Virgil looked up with a glare. 

——————————–

 Roman winced as Virgil disinfected the slashes on his back. “You need to be more careful, you could’ve really hurt yourself!”

Roman chuckled through the stinging pain. “Aw, is my Dark and Stormy Knight worried about me?” Tears pricked Roman’s eyes as the pain increased, the disinfectant pressed against his wounds harder. “UGH-!” Roman’s voice cursed under his breath as another intense pain wave arrived. “Please, add more disinfectant, don’t mind me.” He quipped.

“Hey, I’m not the one who jumped off a cliff.” Virgil snapped back. He dipped the bloodied cloth in the bowl, rinsing it before dabbing the liquid on the blood-red slashes and scrapes. He sighed. “I’m not worried, Roman. You’re just stupid sometimes.” Virgil insisted. “Though it would be helpful if we didn’t have to waste supplies on your stupidity.”

“HEY-!”

——————————-

“Virgil?! Grandpa V!?”

Virgil snapped back to reality quickly. His eyes scanned around, trying to figure out where he was. “Dur…?”

“You spaced out, you were… mumbling again.” Duris quickly clarified. “You mumble a lot, are you okay, Grandpa?”

“Uh… fine. I’m fine, Duris.” Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed, and he tightened the bandage before securing it tightly. “You should go rest for a few days and keep an eye on it for me, alright?” Virgil helped her to the door. “No training.”

“Aw…” Duris sighed. 

“Sorry, that’s the rules.” Virgil smiled, getting level with the girl before whispering. “Apparently if you go train, you may alert the bugs. I heard they take rule-breaking kids.”

Duris smiled mischievously with a front tooth missing, getting into a fighting stance. “No bugs gonna get meh!”

“Good.” Virgil ruffled her red locks. “Now go home.”

Virgil got up, leaning against the doorframe of the house with his arms crossed, smiling as the redheaded girl rushed home in the sunset. 

——————————-

It had started as a cough. The two were reading in the study when a cough interrupted Virgil’s reading and he looked up. “Lo, are you alright?”

Logan gave a reassuring smile to his worried friend. “Virgil, I’m fine. My throat’s just a little dry.”

With that, the two went back to their calm afternoon of reading. A crisp autumn breeze swept through the window, blowing through Virgil’s hair and making him shiver, pulling the blankets around him closer. Logan was re-reading The Murder of Agatha Christie, looking content while sipping his afternoon tea. Virgil skimmed the page of poetry in front of him, relaxing as he heard the poem aloud in his mind.

“ACHOO-!”

Virgil’s eyes quickly looked up to his friend, sneezing into the elbow of his coat. “Your throat’s dry, huh?” He smirked, hiding his anxiety - he worried it could be something serious, though, from the looks of it, it looked to be a mere cold. “Seems like someone’s sick.”

“Virgil, please. It was one sneeze and a cough, I swear to you I am-” Logan barely finished his sentence before he doubled over in a coughing fit, shaking, his book dropped to the floor. Virgil rushed over quickly. 

“We should get you to bed.”

His anxiety and worry grew, a part of him saying that Logan was sicker than he seemed, that he could die and then he’d be all alone-

No. Don’t think about that right now. Help Logan. Logan. Logan is the priority right now.

As soon as Logan was settled into bed, Virgil called for the healer. Logan insisted he was fine but Virgil pushed him back into bed, and he eventually fell asleep with a mountain of blankets on top of him. With nothing to do but wait, Virgil paced outside the door, trying to keep calm and breathe. His hands itched to do something, but he never left Logan’s side.

His hands twitched as he paced, breathing heavily.

——————————

Virgil worked on the skin of his latest hunt, trying to gather more furs for the coming winter season. He needed the gear for a good coat, the warmth of the normal ones wasn’t enough to keep out the chill on his bones. Virgil hummed to himself, closing his eyes for a moment…

Virgil jolted, his eyes wide open as he heard a loud screech, looking around. He saw shadows crossing the windows, running to grab his bow when something tackled him quickly to the ground. Whoever it was covered his mouth tightly, and Virgil began to struggle when a familiar face greeted him. 

That short red hair and dopey grin. Roman. But… but how?! He… he was… he was….

“Quiet, Virge.” Roman said softly, slowly taking his hand off Virgil’s mouth. “That… that thing senses sound and movement. We need to be smart about this.”

He looked around…. There was Remus, Patton, Logan… they were all here except… Janus.

What was going on?!

Remus looked to his brother. “We need to do something fast, Ro. We can’t let that thing get the kids.”

KIDS?!

Logan and Patton held soft and small bundles in their hands. Two of them. Something about this was really strange. This seemed so familiar… what was he forgetting?

“You’re right. We can’t just be sitting ducks.” Roman and Remus’s eyes met, if only for a moment. A non-verbal exchange of words that meant everything. “Are you with me, Brother?”

Remus only smiled. “Till the end of time.”

Roman turned to the rest. “You three should stay in here. You’re dead meat outside. Me and Rem will handle this.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “What?! That’s crazy. If we don’t stand a chance neither can you.”

“We have wings, Lo. We’ll be fine. Just keep the kids safe.”

That’s when everything began to click in Virgil’s mind. Memories. This was when Remus and Roman - No. No no no! Virgil grabbed Roman’s arm as he turned to leave. “Roman, you can’t! Please, we’ll figure out something else, just please don’t go. Both of you, just don’t…” Tears welled in Virgil’s eyes. 

“Virge?” Roman said, looking at his friend. “I promise, me and Remus will be fine. We’ll defeat it and be back before you know it.” Roman squeezed Virgil’s hand as he hugged him closely. “I love you, okay?”

Suddenly, he looked around, startled by the sound of the door, and looked down at his tear soaked pelt. He tried to quickly wipe away his tears, remembering what Logan always told him - he couldn’t change the past, no amount of wishing, praying, or even magic can change what happened. It just… happens, and life goes on. Even so, Virgil couldn’t help holding the hand Roman squeezed to his heart. He didn’t know if Roman could hear him, or if he was even watching him from above, so little could explain what he did next.

“I love you, too.” He whispered as he heard steps down the hall. 

The young girl had grown quickly before Virgil’s eyes, around 12 now, her long red locks chopped off and determined to become a guard and protector for King Thomas’s son, King Lykos. Virgil knew Duris would always protect them.

But, when Virgil turned around, it wasn’t just Duris. A young boy with gray drow-like skin, yet no fangs or yellow eyes. Instead, they were a chocolate brown paired with a messy mop of black hair. “Oh hey Grandpa Virgil, I brought a… friend?” The boy looked to Virgil, and practically froze right there, scampering behind Duris to hide. Duris turned around to face the boy, giving him a comforting smile, reminding him or himself and Patton back in the day. “It’s okay, he’s not gonna hurt you, I promise.”

The kid smiled back and slowly replaced his old spot by Duris’s side. Virgil slowly approached as not to frighten the child, getting on a knee to be more level and giving him a warm smile. “Hey there. I don’t bite, I promise.”

The kid approached, looking at Virgil with slight curiousity. “I’m Skia. I’m… Duris’s friend.”

“Well, any friend of Duris’s is a friend of mine.” Virgil said, slowly getting up. It was a bit jarring how hard it was to do, but he quickly shrugged it off. 

Duris smiled widely. “Grandpa, you gotta finish the story! The one about the beasts!”

“Which ones?” Virgil asks, smirking. 

“You know which ones! The ones with the goo and the teeth!” Duris smiled, pointing a playful accusatory finger at Virgil. At this, Skia looks to Virgil, interested. 

“Displacer Beasts? You encountered one?”

“Not just one, like… a zillion!” Duris said proudly. “During the dark season. My Grandpa Virgil took them all on by himself.”

“Well, not exactly, Dur.” Virgil interjected. “There were only eight, and no one, not even me, can take eight Displacer Beasts on alone.” Virgil moved to sit on his chair as Duris rushed to sit at his feet, tapping the spot next to her as Skia sat down. 

“Then… what happened?” Skia asked curiously.

“Well, like I told you, no one can take eight Displacer Beasts on alone, but I was determined to try. I was hard-headed back in the day, and stubborn as a mule. Despite all this, I was given love even when I had not given them any in return.” Virgil began, before Duris quickly interjected.

“Grandpa Patton, Grandpa Logan, and Grandpa RoRo!” She smiled, and Virgil nodded. 

“That’s right. I cared for them as much as they did for me, possibly even more. So, when we were surrounded by beasts I was ready to make any sacrifice, even myself, to make sure they were safe.”

———————————–

They told him there wasn’t anything they could do for him. He’d gotten a chill, and with his age…there wasn’t much to do but hope he’d fight off the sickness. “The man is 163, Virgil. It’s a miracle he’s survived this long.”

“But there’s gotta be something, some kind of magic, or potion, or…o-or…” Virgil begged, looking toward the bedroom with worry. 

“Virgil, I’m sorry, but-”

“I’ll do anything, please! Take my magic, my blood, my life, anything at all! Just… just let him live…” Virgil’s voice cracked slightly from pain, and emotion welled up in his throat as the healer eyed him with sympathy and concern. She slowly took his hand in her own, rubbing circles into his palm.

“If there’s anything Logan needs right now, it’s you. Just be there. Help take care of him and make sure he stays in bed, and if… if it really is the end, at the very least he had you to hold his hand.” She said calmly, trying her best to comfort him. “I’m so sorry, if I could do something I would…”

The two embraced, pulling away from each other but hands still held together in friendship and comfort. “Make sure he eats, monitor his temperature, and don’t let him out of that bed. If you ever need me you know where to find me, okay?”

Virgil just nodded as she turned, flipping her hood up as she grabbed her bag and left out the door, leaving Virgil alone. It took Virgil a few minutes to sit there, head in his hands, trying to breathe, and trying to wrap his head around everything. Then, he found himself slowly moving toward the bedroom, quietly heading inside. Logan sat on the bed, looking up at Virgil as he entered. Virgil tried to muster a smile to his friend as he sat down next to the bed. “Hey Lo…”

“It’s not good, is it?” Logan said, breaking the awkward silence as he looked to his friend. Virgil could barely look Logan in the eyes as emotion once again welled up in his throat. Should he tell him? Would it be harder or easier to not have him know? Virgil just looked at his lap, hands fidgeting, not knowing what to do, or what to say. Then, Logan’s outstretched hand landed on his knee, and softly squeezed. Virgil slowly met Logan’s eyes - the strands of grey in his white hair, the few wrinkles and age showing just how old he’d become, yet his eyes still held the same shine as they did when they met, full of wisdom and curiosity. 

Tears slowly fell from Virgil’s eyes as Logan’s began to water, looking at his friend with a comforting smile, and soon the two embraced, holding each other tightly as they cried.

————————————

“Elder Virgil, we need a word, if you have a minute?” Virgil looked up from Logan’s quarterstaff in his lap, and nodded, putting it aside and moving outside, grabbing his fur-lined cloak. Snow coated the ground as Virgil walked outside, watching children - the small and the tall, the old and the young - playing in the snow, laughing and smiling. His heart warmed watching them. 

“What seems to be the trouble, Hyfrid?” Virgil asked, turning his attention to the elf in front of him with black eyes and blonde, curly hair that was tied up to the top of his head in a bun. 

“Well, we’ve been having a few attacks near the southeast edge of the fence, a pack of dire wolves moved into the area. We’ve sanctioned off the area for now and sent a hunting party, but they haven’t returned and-”

“And you want me to deal with it?” Virgil questioned. 

“We were hoping you had any ideas on how to deal with them, seeing as you’re as close as a monster expert as we have.”

Virgil leaned on his cane as he stood up, and Hyfrid followed suit. Virgil looked at him. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to show me where they are, or am I just going to have to scope it out?” Virgil asked, and Hyfrid looked confused. 

“You’re not seriously thinking about fighting the entire pack yourself?”

“There’s a problem that needs dealing with, so let’s go deal with it, huh?” Virgil said simply, moving and leaning on his cane slightly as he moved, walking southern, checking to make sure his dagger was where it should be, and smiling to find he hadn’t forgotten it. Hyfrid looked dumbfound, running to keep up. 

“As much as we appreciate your help, Elder Virgil, you…you’re not- we can handle this one ourselves, no need to worry-”

“Oh, I’m not worried, Hyfrid. A pack of dire wolves is a lot simpler to deal with than you think.” Virgil said. “Just gotta take down the alpha and we should be good to go. Will make a nice pelt, too.” He saw the wolves from a distance. “Ah, there we are.” He held out his cane to Hyfrid. “Would you hold this, please?”

Hyfrid slowly took the cane. “Elder Virgil, I really don’t think-”

Virgil jumped the fence and slowly approached the wolves, growling, as two others came to join them, one moving in front. Virgil quickly took his dagger and charged, striking it in the head as its claws sank into his arm and he winced slightly as the wolf went limp. The other wolves, at this began to slowly approach and growl, but Virgil simply laid the dead wolf on the ground, got on his hands and knees, and began to growl back, barking before running at them, chasing them away. He then stood up, satisfied, as he went back to get the wolf pelt.

“I told you Hyfrid, take down the Alpha and they’ll run away with their tails between their legs.”

—————————————-

“There’s got to be another way. You can’t leave.” Virgil said as he sat, watching Patton begin to pack. “It’s not safe out there alone, Pat.”

“I can’t just leave Thomas, he needs me. The kingdom’s at war again and he needs help.” Patton said, turning to grab his cloak. 

“Then why don’t we just all go? It’ll be safer.” Virgil asked. 

“Not with kids it won’t be. With the war right now, it’s not safe for them to travel.” Patton explained. “You and Logan need to stay here and make sure they’re safe. Thomas called on us, I’m the one who needs to go. From the letter, he’s not doing so well.”

Logan walked in the room and looked at Patton. “Finally got them all to sleep. They’re all worried about you, dear.”

“I can’t say I don’t agree, Pat.” Virgil said. “Thomas has other people there, you don’t need to go. Just stay, please.”

“I promise I won’t be gone long, okay? Around a week at most.” Patton said, shouldering a bag full of supplies. “Take care of the kids, make sure you get them to bed on time, and I promise I’ll be home soon.” Patton said, turning to leave and facing Logan, who slowly took his hands in his and brought them up to kiss the palms, making Patton smile. 

“I know you can handle yourself out there, but even so I can’t help but worry. Please… please be safe.” Logan said, as Patton brought his hand up to cup Logan’s cheek lovingly. “I don’t know what I’d do if…if…”

“Hey. I’m not going anywhere, Logie. I promise I’ll be back before you know it.” Patton kissed Logan’s cheek lovingly. “I love you.”

“I…I love you too, Patton.”

No one could have known. No one could have predicted it. It was a heavy thunderstorm, lightning cracking against the walls and sending the little ones to shivers. Logan sat, calming the children down as they dove to hide under the blankets, and telling stories. Virgil sat tending the fire and cooking the meal for the night’s dinner, smiling as he listened in on Logan’s story. 

No, they couldn’t have known, but that doesn’t mean the guilt goes away.

Virgil’s ears perked up at the sound of hooves outside as they suddenly came to a stop. Then, a knock at the door. Logan and Virgil share a glance as Logan gets up from his spot and Virgil as few paces behind, standing near Logan’s previous spot. The thunder boomed as the rain hit the roof in its own symphony. Logan opened the door.

“Thomas? What are you doing… where’s Patton?” Logan asked. The King looked saddened, and Virgil’s heart began to whisper ‘Oh no… not again…’ “Where’s Patton?” Logan repeated, and Thomas looked up to him. 

“He…he got ambushed, I sent out my best men looking for him, but… he was just… gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?!” Logan yelled, and Thomas looked saddened again, staring at the floor. “Goddammit, answer me!”

Thomas took Logan’s hand, and slowly dropped something in the palm, closing it. “I’m… I’m so sorry, I…” Thomas seemed at a loss for words before turning around, getting on his horse and leaving. Logan still stood there, with the door open, rain splattering the ground outside, his palm closed tightly, stunned. 

A few of the older children had led the others into the bedroom, promising more stories, knowing that the two needed their privacy, not really knowing what was going on. Virgil slowly moved to put his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Lo…?” Logan silently closed the door, and moved to sit next to the fire. Virgil’s stomach sank. Something was wrong. “Logan, is he…?”

Logan slowly took Virgil’s hand, and placed a golden wedding band inside it.

————————————————–

Duris had grown up to be a recruit and eventually fighter in King Lykos’s regime. She wrote many letters to Virgil and even visits when she can. Even though Virgil is happy and proud of Duris, he still misses their games of hide-and-seek and the hours telling stories. Skia grew up to be a researcher of different lands, and sends letters when he can to Virgil about his findings and adventures, much more scarce than Duris’s. 

Virgil relies more and more on his cane as the months pass, and soon enough can’t get up the hill anymore to visit the graves, and even just moving around becomes a struggle. Even though the family offers, Virgil insists he doesn’t need anyone to take care of him, and he can take care of himself just fine. The days bore on without Skia or Duris to fill it, Virgil staring out the window, remembering. 

Remembering hot chocolate and tea over jokes and books and smiles. 

Remembering sparring and practice and pride. 

Remembering acceptance and love and joy.

Remembering forgiveness and family. 

Remembering loss and grief and sadness.

Remembering Duris and Skia. 

Remembering Logan, Janus, Patton, Remus, and Roman.

Until one day, he stares out the window and can’t seem to remember anything. He struggles to remember, he has to remember! He couldn’t forget his love for them. He couldn’t have! He moved quickly around the house, looking at pictures and rings and staffs and swords, remembering bits and pieces at a time. He was determined if he couldn’t visit the graves, he was going to remember them. Forgetting them, it was like losing them all over again.

As he reached for a journal of Logan’s, he grabbed the book but lost his footing on the ladder, falling, falling, falling until he crashed into complete darkness. 

————————————-

Virgil read to Logan every day, no matter how boring the book. He made sure he reads all of Logan’s favorites. Logan coughed and sneezed between smiles, always leaning his head against Virgil’s shoulder as they read, eyes closed and peaceful, sometimes fast asleep. 

Virgil always made soup for Logan, smelling hearty and flavorful, which half the time ended up somewhere in a bag or on the floor by the afternoon. Virgil doesn’t mind, and gave him bread to eat instead when Logan’s stomach lurched. 

Despite Virgil’s 24-hour care for him, his condition slowly begins to deteriorate to coughing up mucus, to coughing up blood. His temperature flares, and his just lies in bed, lying in pain and suffering, struggling to sleep most nights. 

The two lay on the bed, hands linked together, staring up at the ceiling, a book they’d been reading laying open on top of Virgil’s stomach. “Virgil?”

“Hm?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“What?”

“When I… die, you need to move on. You can’t… blame yourself for any of this, you couldn’t have done anything, you know?”

“I…I know, Logan.”

“You can’t focus on the past, okay? It can’t be changed, no matter how much you wish it could. Be… be happy. Take care of yourself. Never be afraid of having family, of having friends who love you as much as we did.” Logan said, stopping for a silent moment. “We… don’t forget how much we love you. How much I love you.”

“I won’t, I…I promise.” Virgil said. “I love you so much, okay? And… and if you see the rest of those idiots up there, make sure they know how much I love them.”

“I promise.”

Nothing else was said that night, and Virgil woke up the next morning, quickly realizing Logan had passed in his sleep, his cold hand still wrapped around Virgil’s. Virgil slowly gave Logan’s forehead a parting kiss, and it was all over.

Then, Virgil was left alone.

—————————————–

Virgil was overly aware of his heartbeat as the world came to once again, a healer he couldn’t recognize patting his head with a cloth, staining it red. “Ah, there we are again! Welcome back. You took quite a fall there, scared us all half to death.”

“I fell?”

“Yep, quite a fall if I do say so myself. Cracked a few ribs, I might add. Once I’m done bandaging your head here, I’ll recheck your vitals for any more problems. Just hang in there, alright?”

Virgil’s eyes began to wander to the ceiling, letting his mind drift…

“Virgil? Virgil…?” The voice was familiar, he hadn’t heard it in years. He wanted to reach out and-

“Hey! Hey. Sir, I need you to stay awake, alright? Just stay with me, please.”

Virgil felt so tired, but tried his best to keep his eyes open…

“Virgil?! Oh I’ve missed you so-”

“Sir, SIR! Please don’t fall asleep on me.” The healer seemed anxious, but Virgil was far from anxious, he was tired, so tired… His heartbeat thumped louder and louder in his ears. 

“Virgil, I’ve waited so long to give you a hug again! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!”

He felt colder and colder, the spot on his head growing warmer and warmer until it was boiling, and he felt someone press hard against the pain, making it worsen. He was in so much pain, he just wanted to sleep…

“Virgil, I love you.”

“I love-” “-you.”

[spartanblacksmith]

So, DND story. Here's how my party had slain 2 bosses. Party- 4 humans. Me- sorcerer, then a chuthulu cleric, and 2 samurai brothers by bond. We're on a mission to recruit the spider kingdom (Big Spiders horse sized) to assist in the human kingdoms war with the elf's. It was a humans and orcs vs elf's, dark elf's and birdmen.

The first was this big'ol Spider-eater, this big mosquito looking thing the size of a monster truck. We were all level 1 by the way. We were venturing down a cave, the only cave to the underground spider kingdom when this thing surprise attacks us and crits and paralyzes one of the brothers. The cleric runs of cause they have a massive fear of bugs, and the 2nd samurai runs after them cause the cleric was running into the spider den and had to make sure no spiders get harmed for negotiations.

Me, I gotta fight this thing to get our 1st samurai back from the grasp of this thing hovering 10 feet off the ground, meant for 4 of us. I then have an idea to specifically hit his wing with an acid splash. The DM looks at me and says "One minute" then goes to the staircase to crunch some numbers. He then comes back and says "Roll for it".

18.

"You melt his wing, he falls and hits the ground for 57 damage." The 1st samurai is still in his claws, so he ruled he didn't fall and splat. I go into melee with it and after 2 dodges and 2 meaty whacks with my quarter staff, it's dead.

As I'm dumping the 1st samurais potions down his throat, his brother shows up riding a spider with an army of spiders going "AAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhh......." as he realized I solo'd it and saved his brother. The spiders were grateful we removed this menace haunting their cave and joined our cause.

So at the 2nd boss, we were leaving the cave out a back entrance saying our goodbyes when this RED dragon shows up with an elf rider (we're still level 1 by the way. He says he's there to torch the place, kill the spider king and destroy the spiders entrance to the surface. The 2nd samurai went and raged (Barbarian samurai by the way) and attacked. He rolled the highest initiative and swung at the dragon.

Here's the funny bit. He was playing a samurai class from this Asian DnD book. And his class says that if he crits against a beast, he can roll again to add another damage die if he crits. He crits twice more. He deals so much damage, he chunks half it's health, leading to the "if you take more than half your health in damage, you gotta roll a D100 to see if you instantly die" rule. And the DM rolls a nat 1. On a D100.

He's then like "You are so full of anger and rage of the audacity of this elf that you swing so with so much power that you decapitate the dragon in one swing." And the elf falls off and is like "Please spare me, oh mighty warriors." We left him in spider jail.

And that's how we turned a 4 hour session in 2.

[howwnowbrowncoww]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms

thanks for the tag @vidramon​! I’m going to refrain from picking Malroth since it’s a total given for me lol and since you already wrote some pretty great stuff about him. These aren’t really in any order and I picked off the top of my head so I’m sure I’m missing a few I’d really be able to chat your ears off about, but this was fun anyway!

Oops, editing this to say anyone can try it out! Not tagging anyone specific this time, but if you want to talk about 10 characters you love, please add on an share or make your own post and tag me because I’d love to see!

1. Bado (Rune Factory 4)

Honestly, I love all the characters from 4, but this loser holds a special place in my heart. His half-hearted passion for getting rich quick but lack of follow through when it comes to negatively impacting people around him with his schemes is oddly endearing. I equally want to wring his neck and be his best friend. I also will die mad that he wasn’t a marriage candidate>:T

2. Tamaki Amajiki (BNHA)

It was a toss up between him and Shinsou, but I picked Tamaki because I can relate more to him. I love seeing him fight with determination and courage despite how much anxiety he has. He works hard despite all his perceived faults, and his supportive friend group makes me so happy for him! I left off mid season 4 of the anime but I want to pick it up again just for him and Shinsou lol

3. Ghirahim (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)

Okay, I know, major leap from anxious Tamaki, but Ghirahim is a fave on the complete opposite side of the scale. This guy is obviously an asshole. A total jerk. Dickhead supreme. But he’s a very fun and interesting villain (in the worst way) imo. I’m also a huge fan of WindWaker Ganondorf because of his drive as a villain, but I picked Ghirahim since SS is getting remade soon. Idk, his design is eye-catching, every time I got to meet him in the game, he always had interesting dialouge (putting it lightly), and his personality uh...leaves much to be improved upon, but he HAS ONE! I’m tired of boring villains with lackluster motivations. Okay, his motivations were kinda expectable too, but his overwhelming desire to kill me in an extremely over-the-top dramatic fashion at all times was refreshing.

4. Sophie (Howl’s Moving Castle)

I know a lot of people have a favorite Sophie (either the book or movie version), but I like both equally for really different reasons. I related to movie Sophie a lot as a kid (still kinda do), so I have nostalgia going for me there, but book Sophie is a wild card. I lover her. She’s nuts, she won’t hesitate to throw acid, she can and will do whatever the hell she wants. I really want to be her. 

5. Fenris (Dragon Age 2)

It was SO HARD to pick between him, Bull, and Dorian, because I haven’t played any of the games, but I want to meet them all so damn bad lol. I OWN all the games, I just haven’t played them yet /cries/. Ironically, I took a quiz the other day and it said I’d be Fenris, and I honestly was just more concerned than anything considering his backstory lmao. Anyway, I love an elf who can wield a greatsword and rip people’s hearts from their bodies while avoiding his emotionally traumatic past:>

6. Galo Thymos (Promare)

Look, I absolutely ADORE everyone in this entire movie, but this moron just hits all the best character traits for me. He’s passionate, he’s stupider than all get out, and he’s constantly shirtless while almost dying and saving the day through sheer god-defying luck and a refusal to lay down and die. There’s just something about himbos that gets me, ya know?

7. Kurapika Kurta (Hunter X Hunter)

Kurapika has what Sasuke could NEVER. Literally, Kurapika has such a more satisfying revenge/redemption ark than anything I’ve ever seen. I love his interaction with Melody and the main group, the red eyes thing is so BADASS (again, still cooler than Sasuke’s), the chains are both aesthetic as HELL and insanely, terrifyingly effective. Never seen a cooler anime character in my entire life. I also just really, really want to give him a fucking hug, like wow he really needs one.

8. Apollo Justice (Ace Attorney games)

Apollo is a new love of mine (also from a game I haven’t played yet) as well as another character for me to eventually project onto;) He’s anxious, he yells a lot, he’s oblivious as fuck, but he has the passion I love in all my characters. This boy is in for a world of hurt (from the many spoilers I have run into by browsing the game tags prematurely lol), but I know he’ll pull through! He has his family by his side!;-;

9. Sakura Haruno (Naruto)

Don’t even get me started on Sakura>:O I love her so much. I did not appreciate her near enough as a kid (maybe understandably since she was written for shit). Instead of going back and rewatching the show to face inevitable disappointment, I just read fics that fix all of the crappy things the show did to her:) This girl could crush me like a bug and I am looking respectfully!!

10. Tadashi Hamada (Big Hero 6)

Saving the most underloved one for last;-; Tadashi I miss you. I rewatch this goddamn movie just for you (and sometimes Baymax). I have the only shirt I could ever find with him on it and I also have his hat because once I latch onto a character, I apparently never let go. It’s a shame Disney had to kill him off to further the plot. I was so desperate for more content of this character that I found myself falling down theory spirals about how he may come back as Sunfire (that name may be wrong, it’s been a few years lol). Ultimate big brother, great best friend, everyone loved him and knew he was creating good things for the world, super goofy: literally I think I just aspired to be more like him when I first saw the movie. Mad respect for this dude.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 27 March 1832: SH:7/ML/E/15/0045

8 ¾

12 ¼

- Let[ter] fr[om] L[ad]y Gordon (Garnestone Hereford 24th  inst[ant]) - 3 p[ages] - fine morn[in]g F[ahrenheit] 62° at 10 in my r[oo]m and 60° at 10 20/: in the blac[on]y - L[ad]y G- [Gordon] h[a]s settl[e]d h[e]r Spanish affairs b[u]t yet hopes to see Sp[ai]n ag[ai]n one of these days - Cosmo to ha[ve] a 5th. share as partner and she tho’ having nothing to receive for eight years has nothing to pay - L[ad]y G- [Gordon] wr[ite]s in good sp[iri]ts - chol[er]a is in Paris, b[u]t this will n[o]t prev[en]t her go[in]g there - we are to settle our plans ‘seat[e]d und[e]r the large tree on the top of the hill in the jardin des Plantes’ ‘and God willing we will see some curious scenes together before we die’ - all in the mind to agree and half sorry at being at all hampered with Miss H- [Hobart]  br[eak]f[a]st at 10 20/: Mr. Wooll ca[me] to measure my b[oo]ks for a box to pack them in and L[ad]y Anne Scott call[e]d ab[ou]t 12 1/2 for ab[ou]t 20 min[ute]s - till then Miss [Hobart] and I had got into talking she not liking my so thorough change reminded her of what she had said last Sunday week   I could understand her marrying but in no other case could I relish her fancy fancying anyone more than myself if there was any change of our ever living together   it seems she has ssome thought she may marry we got on very well till I made some unlucky remark on this subject and she was in tears and I sorry till we w[e]nt out a lit[tle] bef[ore] 1 for an h[ou]r - (Miss H- [Hobart] and I) w[e]nt to Woolls, saunt[ere]d a lit[tle] in the Lond[on] r[oa]d and in front of the Croft and there she took courage to be conciliatory to say she liked me very much and in substance that if she did

SH:7/ML/E/15/0046

not always ssay what I liked  she was afraid to say too soon what might be repented of  afterwards   perhaps that was unkind   no not at all said I understand you your reason is i[n]telligible and I am satisfied  she was pleased to see me take it so well and suffice it to say we became good friends and afterwards went on comfortably and I said I should write differently to Lady G- [Gordon]  from what I had intended and merely say we would settle all in  London I see Miss H- [Hobart] thinks me too old for her I said ten years   but the fact is she likes me or at least does not like the idea of my too easily slipping thro’ her fingers   I become calmer and calmer  resolved and more and more able to look to my own interest   providence orders all things wisely  I will wait patiently the event doing the best I can for myself   but let me keep my heart  aloof and give it less hastily in time to come   I will be rather more liant to Miss H- [Hobart] but after all she has cured me more than perhaps she wished or intended -

asleep in my r[oo]m fr[om] 3 to 4 -

then in 35 min[ute]s wr[ote] the ab[ov]e of today - at 4 20/: turn[e]d to my let[ter] to M- [Mariana] 2 p[ages] writ[ten] on Sun[day] and

near[l]y 1 writ[ten] yest[erday] morn[in]g - do n[o]t like h[e]r to th[in]k my health so m[u]ch the worse for

Hast[in]gs - ‘you are right - I sh[oul] be bet[ter] for 2 or 3 w[ee]ks w[i]th you at Lawt[o]n; b[u]t I can[no]t manage

it now - the bug-bus[ine]ss does really stick terrib[l]y in my throat, in spi[te] of all y[ou]r good reason[in]g

ab[ou]t it - yet ev[e]n if I c[oul]d get it digest[e]d so soon (and y[ou]r infl[uen]ce w[oul]d be all pow[er]ful) still that

w[oul]d n[o]t get rid of the oth[e]r diffic[ultie]s, Shibd[e]n and the carr[ia]ge duty concern - I shall be ver[y] ver[y] sor[ry]

if I do n[o]t see you; b[u]t, at this mom[en]t, I see lit[tle] chance of our manag[in]g an[y]th[in]g like a comf[orta]ble

meet[in]g - the obstac[le]s are fearfully strong on y[ou]r side, and mine too’ - can[no]t get off fr[om] here till the

23[r]d Ap[ril] and shall be oblig[e]d to go to Lond[on] aft[e]r all; for tho’ L[ad]y G- [Gordon] and I ha[ve] been ‘writ[in]g ab[ou]t our

plans; b[u]t it will be decid[edl]y  best to talk them ov[e]r’   I m[u]st be in Lond[on] on the 25th next m[on]th and embark on the 29th

wheth[e]r L[ad]y G- [Gordon] can be ready or n[o]t - determ[ine]d n[o]t to lose the duty

on my carr[ia]ge aft[e]r all the poth[e]r ab[ou]t it - ‘yet the n[o]t see[in]g you will be a gr[ea]t disapp[ointmen]t, a

real afflict[io]n; and the near[e]r the ti[me] co[me]s, the mo[re] I shall feel it, and be irresolute’ - b[u]t hope to

see h[e]r on the oth[e]r side the wat[e]r    ‘It ab[ou]t six m[on]ths s[in]ce I saw you - So[me]how or oth[e]r, I can[no]t

fancy I shall be ver[y] m[u]ch long[e]r bef[ore] I see you ag[ai]n - Mary! I am poth[ere]d ab[ou]t ho[me] concerns, and

can neith[e]r do wh[a]t I wish, or wh[a]t I ought - B[u]t, in the midst of all, the conclud[in]g part of

y[ou]r let[ter] ma[ke]s me laugh - Miss H- [Hobart] ta[ke] up her abode w[i]th me! n[o]t that I kno[w] of or expect -

Do you n[o]t rememb[e]r wh[a]t I ha[ve] alw[a]ys told you? - H[e]r health once reestab[lishe]d, and I count

up[on] her companion[in]g hers[elf] ver[y] diff[erentl]y’ - L[ad]y S- [Stuart] h[a]s been ill - b[u]t is recov[ere]d - is 8 or 9

y[ea]rs young[e]r than my fath[e]r and may ha[ve] sev[era]l comf[orta]ble y[ea]rs to co[me] - can[no]t settle an[y]th[in]g w[i]th

L[ad]y G- [Gordon] in Lond[on] - all this talk[e]d ov[e]r w[i]th M- [Mariana] when I saw h[e]r last, that she kno[w]s up to this

ti[me] as m[u]ch as I do - ‘I cert[ainl]y do wish so[me]th[in]g w[a]s settl[e]d - b[u]t being impat[ien]t does no good; and I

ta[ke] th[in]gs as they co[me], ver[y] quiet[l]y - I th[in]k of noth[in]g as fix[e]d, b[u]t my go[in]g to Paris in the 1

st

inst[an]ce’ - 10 days

quarantine, b[u]t comf[orta]ble temp[orar]y hot[e]ls to perform it in - finish[e]d my let[ter] last 1/3 of p[age] 3.

and long ends and und[e]r the seal sm[all] and close - tell her to ta[ke] care of hers[elf] and wr[ite] me cheer[in]g let[ter]s

I can[no]t bear to th[in]k of n[o]t seeing you ag[ai]n bef[ore] I go - and yet wh[a]t can I do? all my consolat[io]n is, that

all h[a]s been talk[e]d ov[e]r - noth[in]g left unsaid - and if there be an[y]th[in]g new that c[oul]d be add[e]d, perh[aps] it is

that I hope I shall nev[e]r repent the decis[io]n that my a[un]t hers[elf] made, and the break[in]g up our estab[lishemen]t in

Paris - B[u]t this is qui[te] bet[ween] ours[elves]’ ment[ione]d McD-‘s [Macdonald] go[in]g to leave my a[un]t on acc[oun]t of her (McD-‘s [Macdoland])

health - and that they ha[ve] h[a]d the cholera in Paris these 2 m[on]ths - at 5 50/: s[e]nt off my let[ter] to Mrs. Lawt[o]n

Lawt[o]n hall Lawt[o]n Cheshire - wr[ote] 1 p[age] to my a[un]t - dress[e]d - din[ner] at 6 3/4 in 40 min[ute]s - coff[ee] at

8 - won 1 and lost 1 hit at b[a]ckgam[mo]n - fr[om] 9 3/4 in an h[ou]r r[ea]d al[ou]d fr[om] p[age] 101 to 140 ch[apter] 59 vol[ume] xi. Gibb[o]n

ca[me] upst[ai]rs at 11 10/: and to my r[oo]m at 11 1/4 -

very good friends   she asked me to give her a half hoop ruby ring perhaps we shall now go on very well   I have no inclination to teaze her with caresses and ‘tis well -

fine mild day

b[u]t ver[y] lit[tle] sun aft[e]r 11 or 12 in the morn[in]g F[ahrenheit] 63° in my r[oo]m at 11 3/4 p.m. and 41° at 12 in

the balc[on]y - L[ad]y Anne Scott s[e]nt us this ev[enin]g to look Withering’s bot[an]y by MacGillivray 1 vol[ume] [octa]vo cloth

pl[a]tes 10/. - seems useful, and easy, and element[ar]y, and suffic[ientl]y portable