#eli marsh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ask-missparker · 1 month

Text

The Chilling Adventures Of Super-Mamas 🧸

— Super Mamas 🍀, friends 🫧 and son 🧸 today

Summary: Sometimes you need a boost of confidence to get things rolling

|✨🧸💞🦋|

Warning: Fluffy and very sweet angsty plot

Setting: Liane Felton’s Designer Store 🪻

Characters mentioned: Rochelle, Rick, Michelle, Peter and Rei

Introducing: Harry Shum Jr as Jake Kwan, The Personal Assistant & Darling Good Friend

The currently blonde girl stood in front of the mirror and shyly said, “Oh my gosh, you sure that this dress is fine? I can totally understand if you don’t want me to..”

“Luna, sweetie, relax! We are designing this dress for your specifically for a reason, duh.” Liane said sitting on her knees pinning the fabric together.

“Yeah but what if it’s too expensive and you can’t find the right stuff for it.”

“That’s why you’re the client and I’m the designer, you give me the money for this stuff. You’re gonna look gorgeous!”

“Yo-you su-sure? I’m just…I am just so nervous.”

“Nervous about what?”

“My we-wedding..wh-what if something happens? O—or Ricky d-doesn’t show..?”

Liane paused what she was doing and looked up at her friend with a ‘bitch you serious?’ look. As Luna looked away a little shyly, rubbing her shoulders as if she was being judged.

The blonde in a purple dress sighed and smiled, “Luna, sweetheart, calm down. You and Rick are so lovey dovey with each other, no way in hell, he is going to leave you waiting at the alter.”

“Y-you sure? Cause I heard grooms might get co-cold feet and not show up.” Luna said with a sigh playing with her nails.

“Okay everyone gets nervous on their wedding day, I know I did, but you have nothing to worry about. And for real girlie, you and Rick are so darn lovey dovey it’s annoyingly obvious how in love you guys are.”

“We are not…I mean, we are in love..but it’s no-not obvious..”

“Last week at an Avengers meeting, you two were holding hands and basically nuzzled into each other’s arms.”

“Ohhh..hehe oops..”

Jake Kwan, Liane’s assistant and personal friend, chuckle in agreement with her boss. He even commented how they are disgustingly cute together from what he seen, hoping their wedding day goes off with a splash.

“You see! Your wedding is gonna be great, maybe just as nice as Rochelle and Michelle’s wedding day.” Liane added with a grin.

“You mean the same wedding where Doc Ock came in and swooped the bridal party off to the side?”

Said a voice jokingly.

They looked over their shoulders to noticed Mia walking in with snacks, drinks and carrying Elliot in her arms. He was playing with his toy Lighting McQueen and only half paying attention to the others. Luna smiled waving at them. Jake looked up from his phone at the moment to smile at the brunette.

Liane glanced at Luna, “Okay not the best example but you get my point. Things went off with a bang for them!” She then turned to look at Mia as she took Elliot for her arms, pressing kisses against her son’s face as she said, “And what are you two doing here?”

Elliot answered, “Mommy said that we can come and see you!”

“Oh did she now? Looks like mommy forgot to text me on the way over.”

“Mama, mommy got you guys donuts!”

Mia looked over sheepishly as she was carefully hugging Luna a sweet hello, making sure to not wrinkle the fabric or get a pin stabbing her side. Liane send the brunette a look before rolling her eyes and chuckling.

As his mommy walked over to his mama, Elliot rushed over and grinned as Luna scooped him tickling him. Luna felt ten times better holding her cute little nephew as they talked about cartoons and whatnot. Even so, Elliot called his auntie pretty which made Luna smile and blush a bit at his compliment.

Liane eyes widen slightly and lightly gasped, “Oh my..Eli Taylor, honey! Be careful with the dress! You too Luna, please be careful it’s not done yet.”

Mia placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled, “It’s fine, hon, the dress is gonna get wrinkled and whatever anyway.”

“But it’s not just the dress, it’s the whole look. It’s not done yet and we might change it. Girl, you don’t understand fashion as hell as I do.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious. Lia, relax it’s fine.” Mia smirked and then muttered, “Besides, knowing who Luna’s man is that dress is gonna get wrinkled anyway.”

“Mia!” Liane replied smirking as she laughed, “Be nice!”

“What? The man is half wolf! That dress ain’t gonna last two hours on the dance floor.”

“Girl, sweetie, you’re too much at times, but true they are gonna dance together and make a romantic scene. Straight out of some classic Disney movie.”

“We weren’t like that, right?”

“Oh no, we were pretty chill. I think I spent half of the night taking pictures with guests and watching the fireworks in the backyard.”

“And dancing. We danced to Maroon 5 Sugar like it was no tomorrow. But mhmmm that wedding cake was so good!”

Liane laugh as she joked, “Fat ass.”

“Thank you for noticing. I’ve been doing squats lately.” Mia joked in a silly accent chuckling loudly.

~~~

As time went on, Mia and Jake helped Liane with the dress after removing it off Luna.

It was kinda obvious that Luna was still a little indecisive about how she wanted the final cut of her dress to be. It wasn’t unusual for Liane to have that in clients who had a bunch of other things on their mind. So she was willing to give the girl all the time she needed to have her dress be perfect.

Elliot was playing building blocks with Luna and coloring. It was obvious that spending time with her nephew is what she needed after everything.

Suddenly Luna asked, “How did you know your wedding was going to be good?”

Mia looks up from her phone as she took a break from helping Jake and Liane. They were the professionals after all.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Mia asked respectfully curious.

Luna sighed resting Elliot on her lap as she explained, “Well um..I mean, how did you know that your dress was perfect, the flowers were right…the setting is just so beautiful…and um…th-that everything about it is absolutely amazing…?”

“Hehe I wasn’t expecting everything to be absolutely perfect. Well Liane was but I wasn’t. I am not that kind of person despite how I act.” She admitted.

“Ooohhh…b-but why? H-h-how?”

“With our current line of work, and with how life is, I realize that you have to take things how they are and make the best of it.”

“..w-woahhh!”

“Yeah! I get it everyone dreams of the perfect wedding, but I feel like the perfect wedding is more like, what’s perfect for you. Is it the dress? Is it the flowers? Is it the wedding? Then everything else will fall right into place.”

“Okay, yeah, I see what you mean! I gotta find what’s perfect for me.”

“Mhmm exactly! At the end of the day, all that matters is your and your groom are alright, and that everyone is celebrating the good times together.”

Luna grins, “Wow, Mia, you are so smart! That sounds like a great plan.”

“Thank you for the kind compliment, but you’re smart too.” Mia added smiling.

“W-what? N-no..I am not that smart.”

“Luna, don’t. Don’t head down that road with me, on the whole I am not smart enough bit, you are. End of discussion.”

“B-but..?”

“No buts! You are smart, your are sweet and you are very kind at the end of the day. I mean, come on you’re getting married!”

As the words exited Mia’s lips, Luna smiled once again at the reminder that she is marrying a pretty great guy. Her fiancé Rick Banner. She was pretty lucky. And if she knew her fiancé, he was just as nervous and excited as her.

Maybe Mia and Liane were right? Her wedding day was going to be pretty awesome after all.

She looked down at Eli in her arms, who was showing her his new plushie as she squealed and played with him. She wondered many things about her future with Rick. Mia chuckled watching her son play with his auntie. One of her favorite things to watch.

If she will be a good wife and partner on the field, if they will still be as sweet to each other after they get married, if they will have a family of their own and will they move out from Avengers Towers?

Luna hopes she doesn’t move out of The Tower anytime soon with Ricky. She loves it there way too much and she knows he loves it too.

However she does think about the others relationships sometimes and becomes curious.

She watched Mia and Liane, Michelle and Rochelle, along with the most recent couple Peter and Rei, seeing them all having it figured out. Hell, Pepper and Tony have it all figure out. Or at least, that’s what she thinks for the couples. Luna knows that she have their own struggles, inner turmoil and anxiety about stuff.

She just hopes she will get there one day.

But seeing how she’s getting married very soon, she’s definitely heading in the right direction.

—

THATS ALL FOLKS! 📖 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS 🥺✨

Please let me know what you think 💭

Tags: @ask-starrk @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @wizzzardofoz z @thechoooooosenone @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh @marvelsfavoriteuncle @elzabeth-stark @sci-fi-lexcon @jackiequick @blueboirick @gcthvile @cherrysft @meiramel @trulysummersprivate and etc

12 notes · View notes

thcbclter · 3 months

Text

one of his least favorite things to do was talk to the media after games. it wasn't that the questions bothered him (well, sometimes they did) or that he didn't know how to answer...eli just had a tendency to freeze when cameras were on him. it was different when he was playing, because out on the ice he was in an entirely different world. the confidence he had lacked for most of his life seemed to appear out of no where as he skated around, making it clear just why he wore the C on his jersey.

as he finishes, he mumbles a thank you before heading to the locker rooms. after a shower and change, he's walking out, bag slung over his shoulder as he makes his way through the crowd of stragglers. some hung out long after the game, hoping to catch some of the players. he never minded, but tonight, he was tired and just wanted to go home.

pushing past a blonde, he sees a recognizable face and smiles. his girlfriend. she never missed a game, unless she was terribly sick or some sort of emergency occurred. he happily makes his way over, immediately pulling her into him and kissing her, unaware that there was someone watching. // @tcmbcy

#↷ eli love ꒰ threads ꒱#↷ ali marsh ꒰ featuring ꒱

7 notes · View notes

discodeviant · 9 months

Text

I'm probably the only one who cares about this but I typed it out in case anyone else is interested lol

S2E3: For He Is a Liar and the Father of Lies

Local Wrestling Promoter Rumored Behind Gambling, Extortion Rackets

Glendon Marsh Charged with Conspiracy and Extortion By G. NAYLOR

MEMPHIS, Tenn. June 20 A Federal grand jury indicted Memphis community figure and wrestling promoter Glendon Marsh with five counts of conspiracy and extortion. Police think Marsh is a key figure in the Memphis underground, but have had only unreliable jailhouse informants as circumstantial evidence. The District Attorney may now have Marsh in a full-nelson and ready to tap out and rat on a wider syndicate that the FBI thinks may be connected to a nation wide money laundering scheme. But the court can only hold him so long with out concrete evidence. Marsh’s bail is set to $40,000. Which he can easily post by next week.

Indicted with Marsh were many of the wrestlers he employs at the American Legion Hall. Police also think Marsh’s young son may be deeply involved with his father’s business, possibly using his young age to hide certain activities from law enforcement and tax officials. Marsh is a known union buster and was quite outspoken about [indecent] sanitation strikes that … shut down Memphis.

Conspiracy Charges

The indictment charges that the defendants conspired to obstruct [or delay] local gambling laws that used numbers betting loop holes to avoid restriction applied to casinos. He’s also known in the pro-wrestling circuit as a cut-throat manager with an eye for talented “heel” characters. His Memphis League run by Glendon Marsh Promotions is known across the region as the best spot to see bad guys in the ring. One former employee, who wants to remain nameless, gave us a [sic] inside scoop on what goes on behind the scenes in the wrestling world.

“He just knows how to pick ‘em and he has a talent for knowing the crowd and how riling them up enough to get them coming back.”

3 Companies Also Named in Gambling Racketeering Case

The indictment charges that the defendants conspired to obstruct members receiving ballots and $ counts under a Federal Indictment accusing him of falsification of union records and fabricating employees and supervisors all together. [A] retired union leader said that he was once kidnapped by Marsh to change one of his votes and subsequently retire. He commented.

“He dropped me off at the court house. I took it as a message and that message said, ‘I dare you.’ I kept my mouth shut for years.”

Marsh was never tried on the charge and the Federal Indictment for kidnapping and falsification was never pushed. There were suggestions that Marsh had been protected by someone at the governor’s office. No one knows.

Many are asking what will happen to the Federal witnesses if Marsh posts bond. The District Attorney as [sic] said that they have their witnesses under lock and key and there’s “No way Marsh can get to them before the grand jury hears testimony.”

Many are asking what will happen to the rising Memphis pro-wrestling scene that Marsh is entirely responsible for overturning and creating. Some may think the sport will rise to the national stage in the near future.

Continued on pg. [##]

#the righteous gemstones #the righteous gemstones meta #tv meta #eli gemstone #the maniac kid #glendon marsh #junior marsh #.disco

8 notes · View notes

nysocboy · 8 months

Text

Gemstones Episode 2.1 Review: Junior likes dicks, Kelvin likes pecs, and f*k yeah, we got both

Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones began over two years after the Season 1 finale, and the back stories, personalities, and even the genre has changed. Remember, Danny McBride likes his seasons to be complete stories, with no or few call-backs, so new viewers easily understand what's going on. In fact, it may be fun for us to start afresh, watch as if we have never seen or heard of these people before.

Memphis Soul Stew: Memphis, 1968. Teenage Eli Gemstone, the Maniac Kid (Jake Kelley), is playing a heel, a pro wrestling villain: "from the wrong side of the tracks, a newcomer to the League, all muscle, all attitude." He fights dirty, pretending to reconcile with opponent Kyle Hawk, then throwing him out of the ring.

As he fights, his manager Glendon Marsh (Wayne Duvall) cheers. Glendon's teenage son Junior (Tommy Nelson) watches, sometimes happy but usually disturbed. Is he jealous of the attention Eli is getting? Is he a rebellious teenager during the era of the Generation Gap?.

Nice Cock: In the locker room, Glendon offers Eli "some bonus pay on the South Side," while Junior looks on, smoking a cigarette, still either jealous or angry. As they leave, they pass a naked guy. "That's a nice cock, Ernie," Glendon says. Junior is so busy looking that he trips, and then looks back again. The boy is definitely into cocks and butts.

The Loan Enforcer: Glendon is a loan shark as well as a wrestling manager: the job involves beating up a deadbeat. Eli and Junior both go, squabbling over who's the boss.

"Kill 'em!" we hear. Psych! It's the tv. We meet a slovenly, drunken, foul-mouthed, abusive jackass of a husband. While Junor subdues his wife and baby, Eli punches him a few times and asks for the money, and when he doesn't have it, breaks his thumbs. Junior laughs "derangedly" (according to the subtitles).

Afterwards Glendon drops Eli off, hands him some money, and tells him, "Buy yourself something nice." This is a feminizing statement.

As Eli drives off on his motorcycle, we hear Buck Owens' "Tall Dark Stranger":

They say a tall dark stranger is a demon, and that a devil rides closely by his side.

So if Junior is the demon, Eli must be the devil riding beside him. How long will they ride together?

We're fine with the faggots: In 2022, elderly Eli Gemstone is a megachurch pastor and televangelist. He and the satellite church ministers are discussing the case of Pastor Butterfield (Victor Williams), caught videotaping his wife and another woman having sex in a dance club restroom, while they were all high on Molly ("we thought they were Sweetarts"). The story made the front page of The New York Times, thanks to reporter Thaniel Block (Jason Schwartzman), who has made a career of publicizing ministerial sex scandals. Eli wants to be lenient, but the others object. (Left: random pecs)

A Spanish speaking pastor explains: "My church is ok with the maricones (roughly faggots), but we're not ready for swinging and tropus." Pastor Diane translates: "His church is really cool with the gays and the queers, but not so much about the swingers and the thruples." They fire Pastor Butterfield; he tries to commit suicide.

Why did Pastor Diane translate maricones with two words, gays and queers? Why queers, doubtless with the old pejorative meaning rather than the contemporary reclamation? I get the impression that the pastors are not really ok with maricones, so any gay ministers might want to stay in the closet, especially with the reporter snooping around. Since this is the first scene in the present day, it is doubtless setting up one of the main conflicts of the season. But who is the gay minister Eli, Junior, or someone not yet introduced?

F*ck, yeah: After the morning service, the family drives in a caravan to Jason's Steak House. They get out of their cars in slow motion and walk past the al fresco area, heterosexual couples reveling in their nuclear family conformity, the "job, house, wife, kids" litany of my youth made visible. The background song brags about their heteronormative success:

Turn your head when I walk by -- I got the world at my feet.

All I want out of every day, is to wake up every morning

Sun is shining, smiling, and we've covered every room

Wait -- where's Kelvin?

Suddenly the record scratches off. Two vans pull up with a flexing muscle Christ and the logo "Strength above All Else." Twelve muscle men emerge, wearing identical canvas gis: the God Squad! Closeups of biceps and pecs and abs,bulging, flexing, intruding on the smug primness of the nuclear families. There is no romance here. There is no heterosexual desire. It is raw homoerotic power.

We see their leader from the back of his tiger-splashed leather jacket. Who is this Messiah of Muscle, this Pope of the Phallus, demolishing the iron cage of heteronormativity, leading us to the bright, clear love of men for men?

He turns around for the big reveal.

Kelvin! The prissy little femme boy from church earlier? I thought it would be Junior.

He has changed his jacket: more shiny buttons, a gold bracelet. And his pants: a porn-star bulge and a bright gold zipper to help guide us to the Promised Land. Obviously gay, but hardly closeted. His life, career, and religion all center on masculine beauty.

A man we haven't met before stands beside him, identified as Keefe. His relationship to Kelvin is unclear. Assistant or boyfriend? Acolyte or lover?

Kelvin gives his God Squad some micromanaging instructions about "eating light," and starts to walk toward the steakhouse. Keefe stops him. "Excuse me, sir. Will you be dining with the men and I?" Sir? Assistant.

Kelvin says no, he'll be dining "above you" with the family.

Keefe: "Shall I join you?" Boyfriend.

Kelvin: No. "Upstairs church lunch is only for family...and Daddy's closest work associates."

This upsets Keefe. He looks like he's about to cry. Apparently they have enjoyed intimacy before, so he thinks he should be treated as a boyfriend. Never hook up with your boss, Dude: it only leads to trouble.

Kelvin: "Do not take this personal. No matter how many disciples we gather, you're still my Number One." So Kelvin is Jesus, and Keefe is the Beloved Disciple. Assistant

Keefe still looks upset, so Kelvin says "Let me tickle them titty meats" and reaches out to squeeze his nipple through his shirt. Hey, that's inappropriate with an employee. Boyfriend..

Then he swishes off with a jaunty over-the-shoulder smile, pushing up the gay stereotypic behavior Boyfriend.

Now we see Kelvin's central conflict: he is closeted after all. He imagines that being gay is incompatible with the cozy families sitting upstairs in Jason's Steakhouse, so if he wants a career and a family, he must deny Keefe like Peter denied Christ: "Him? Oh, he's my...um...assistant." During this season, Keefe will be pushing for a place at the table, recognition as a romantic partner. Will Kelvin find a way to admit him?

The full review, with nude photos is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

#the righteous gemstones #kelvin gemstone #keefe chambers #kelvin x keefe #tony cavalero #adam devine #Junior Marsh #Eli Gemstone

2 notes · View notes

painofhumanity · 2 years

Text

One thing I would really love is exploring an AU where It doesn't come back until The Losers Club is older, and It tries to feed on their kids (this would be an AU in which they also all remember each other, just not the events of That Summer).

#general blog wishlist #{🩹} tk kaspbrak ; wishlist #{✡} teddy uris ; wishlist #{👓} eli tozier ; wishlist #{🎬} georgie denbrough ii ; wishlist #{🔧} marshall hanscom ; wishlist #{🔥} ember hanscom ; wishlist #{❄️} winter hanscom ; wishlist #{🍀} lucky hanlon ; wishlist #{📖} lilah hanlon ; wishlist #{✒️} victoria denbrough ; wishlist #{🍭} addie hanscom ; wishlist #{🪡} beverly marsh ; wishlist #{🛠} ben hanscom ; wishlist

1 note · View note

ruben-sahun · 2 years

Video

Melodic World -046- mixed by RUBEN SAHUN ( melodic house : : progressive...

0 notes

what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew · 9 months

Text

BOYCOTTING FOR PALESTINE

The Official BDS Boycott Targets

Campaigns

Block the boat: End maritime arms transfer to Israel

Ban Apartheid Israel from Sports (FIFA, Olympics)

Consumer Boycotts - a complete boycott of these brands

Disney (SPECIFICALLY MARVEL)

Intel

Axa

Puma

Carrefour

Cevron

Caltex

Israeli produce

Re/max

Ahava

Texaco

Siemens

Sodastream

Intel

Organic Boycott Targets - boycotts not initiated by BDS but still complete boycott of these brands

Macdonald's

Dominos

Papa Johns

Burger King

Pizza Hut

Wix

Divestments and exclusion - pressure governments, institutions, investment funds, city councils, etc. to exclude from procurement contracts and investments and to divest from these

Elbit Systems

CAF

Volvo

CAT

Barclays

JCB

HD Hyundai

TKH Security

HikVision

Pressure - boycotts when reasonable alternatives exist, as well as lobbying, peaceful disruptions, and social media pressure.

Google

Amazon

AirBnb

Booking.Com

Expedia

Teva

Here are some companies that strongly support Israel (but are not Boycott targets). There is no ethical consumption under capitalism and boycotting is a political strategy - not a moral one. If you did try to boycott every supporter of Israel you would struggle to survive because every major company supports Israel (as a result of attempting to keep the US economy afloat), that being said, the ones that are being boycotted by masses and not already on the organic boycott list are coloured red.

5 Star Chocolate

7Days

7Up

Apple

Arsenal FC

ALDO

Arket

Axe

Accenture

Ariel

Adidas

ActionIQ

Aquafina

Amika

AccuWeather

Activia

Adobe

Aesop

Azrieli Group

American Eagle

Amway Corp

Axel Springer

American Airlines

American Express

Atlassian

AdeS

Aquarius

Ayataka

Audi

Barqs

Bain & Company

Bayer

Bank Leumi

Bank Hapoalim

BCG (Boston Consulting Group)

Biotherm

Bershka

Bloomberg

BMW

Boeing

Booz Allen Hamilton

Burberry

Bath & Body Works

Bosch

Bristol Myers Squibb

Capri Holdings

Costa

Carita Paris

CareTrust REIT

Caterpillar

Coach

Cappy

Caudalie

CeraVe

Check Point Software Technologies

Cerelac

Chanel

Chapman and Cutler

Channel

Cheerios

Cheetos

Chevron

Chips Ahoy!

Christina Aguilera

Citi Bank

Carrefour

Codral

Cosco

Canada Dry

Citi

Clal Insurance Enterprises

Clean & Clear

Clearblue

Clinique

Champion

Club Social

Coca Cola

Coffee Mate

Colgate

Comcast

Compass

Caesars

Conde Nast

Cooley LLP

Costco

Côte d’Or

Crest

CV Starr

CyberArk Software

Cytokinetics

Crayola

Cra Z Art

Daimler

Dr Pepper

Del Valle

Daim

Doctor Pepper

Dasani

Doritos

Daz

Dior

Dell

Deloitte

Delta Air Lines

Deutsche Bank

Deutsche Telekom

DHL Group

David Off

Disney

DLA Piper

Domestos

Domino’s

Douglas Elliman

Downy

Duane Morris LLP

Dreft Baby Detergent & Laundry Products

Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream

eBay

Edelman

Eli Lilly

Evian

Empyrean

Ericsson

Endeavor

EPAM Systems

Estee Lauder

Elbit Systems

Forbes

Facebook

Fairlife

Fanta

First International Bank of Israel

Fiverr

Funyuns

Fuze

Fox News

Fritos

Fox Corp

Gatorade

Gamida Cell

Glamglow

General Catalyst

General Motors

Georgia

Gold Peak

Genesys

Goldman Sachs

Grandma’s Cookies

Garnier

Guess

Greenberg Traurig

Guerlain

Givenchy

H&M

Hadiklaim

Huggies

Hanes

HSBC

Head & Shoulders

Hersheys

Herbert Smith Freehills

Hewlett Packard

Hasbro

Hyundai

Henkel

Harel Insurance Investment & Financial Services

Hewlett Packard Enterprise

HubSpot

Huntsman Corp

IBM

Innocent

Insight Partners

Inditex Group

IT Cosmetics

Instacart

Intermedia

Interpublic Group

Instagram

ICL Group

Intuit

Jazwares

Jefferies

John Lewis

JP Morgan Chase

Jaguar

Johnson & Johnson

JPMorgan

Kenon Holdings

Kate Spade

Kirks’

Kinley Water

KKR

KFC

KKW Cosmetics

Kurkure

Keebler

Kolynos

Kaufland

Kevita

Knorr

KPMG

Lemonade

Lidl

Loblaws

Levi Strauss

Louis Vuitton

Life Water

Levi’s

Levi’s Strauss

Land Rover

L’Oréal

Lego

Levissima

Live Nation Entertainment

Lufthansa

La Roche-Posay

Lipton

Major League Baseball

Manpower Group

Marriott

Marsh McLennan

Maison Francis Kurkdjian

Mastercard

Mattel

Minute Maid

Monster

Monki

Mainz FC

Mellow Yellow

Mountain Dew

Migdal Insurance

Marks & Spencer

Mirinda

McDermott Will & Emery

Motorola

McKinsey

Merck

Michael Kors

Mizrahi Tefahot Bank

Merck KGaA

Micheal Kors

Milkybar

Maybelline

Mount Franklin

Meta

MeUndies

Mattle

Microsoft

Munchies

Miranda

Morgan Lewis

Moroccanoil

Morgan Stanley

MRC

Nasdaq

Naughty Dog

Nivea

NOS

Nabisco

Nutter Butter

No Frills

National Basketball Association

National Geographic

Nintendo

New Balance

Nutella

Newtons

NVIDIA

Netflix

Nescafe

Nestle

Nesquick

Nike

Nussbeisser

Oreo

Oral B

Old spice

Oysho

Omeprazole

Oceanspray

Opodo

P&G (Procter and Gamble)

Pampers

Pull & Bear

Pepsi

Pfizer

Popeyes

Parker Pens

Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Pizza Hut

Powerade

Purina

Phoenix Holdings

Propel

Ponds

Pure Leaf Green Tea

Power Action Wipes

PwC

Prada

Perry Ellis

Prada Eyewear

Pringles

Payoneer

Procter & Gamble

Purelife

Pureology

Quaker Oats

Royal Bank of Canada

Ruffles

Revlon

Ralph Lauren

Ritz

Rolls Royce

Royal

S.Pellegrino

Sabra Hummus

Sabre

Sony

SAP

Simply

Smart Water

Sprite

Schwabe

Shell

Soda Stream

Siemens

StreamElements

Schweppes

Sunsilk

Signal

Skittles

Smart Food

Sobe

Smarties

Sephora

Sam’s Club

Superbus

Samsung

Sodastream

Sunkist

Scotiabank

Sour Patch Kids

Starbucks

Sadaf

Stride

Subway

Tang

Tate’s Bake Shop

The Body Shop

Tesco

Twitch

The Ordinary

Tim Hortons

Tostitos

Timberland

Topo Chico

Tapestry

Tropicana

Tommy Hilfiger

Tommy Hilfiger Toiletries

Turbos

Tom Ford

Taco Bell

Triscuit

TUC

Twix

Tottenham Hotspurs

Twisties

Tripadvisor

Uber

Uber Eats

Urban Decay

Upfield

Unilever

Vicks

Victoria’s Secret

Vaseline

Vitaminwater

Volkswagen

Volvo

Walmart

Wegmans

Waitrose

Woolworths

Wheat Thins

Walkers

Warner Brothers

Warner Chilcot

Warner Music

Wells Fargo

Winston & Strawn

WingStreet

Wissotzky Tea

WWE

Wheel Washing Powder

Wrigley Company

YouTube

Yvel

Yum Brands

Ziyad

Zara

Zim Shipping

Ziff Davis

760 notes · View notes

devilish-blue · 1 year

Text

~Devilish Smoke Shoppe~

Hi you smokin' pervs, i'm Devilish or Blue, and i am here to fulfill whatever horny, angsty, or fluffy needs you have. Everything you guys are about to see is everything i will do, so eat your guys' gross little hearts out <33

Fandoms/Things i will write:

Anime's:

Naruto:

Naruto Uzumaki

Sasuke Uchiha

Shikamaru Nara

Kiba Inuzuka

Kakashi Hatake

Gaara

Neji Hyuga

Rock Lee

Sai

Asuma Sarutobi

Tsunade Senju

Sakura Haruno

Ino Yamanaka

Hinata Hyuga

Temari

TenTen

Haikyuu:

Karasuno:

Hinata Shoyo

Kageyama Tobio

Tsukishima Kei

Yamaguchi Tadashi

Tanaka Ryūnosuke

Nishinoya Yu

Koshi Sugawara

Daichi Sawamura

Asahi Azumane

Kiyoko Shimizu

Aoba Johsai:

Oikawa Tooru

Iwazumi Hajime

Akira Kunimi

Kentarō Kyōtani (Mad Dog)

Nekoma:

Lev Haiba

Sō Inuoka

Kenma Kozume

Taketora Yamamoto

Morisuke Yaku

Tetsuro Kuroo

Shiratorizawa:

Kenjirō Shirabu

Tsutomu Goshiki

Satori Tendō

Eita Semi

Wakatoshi Ushijima

Fukurodani:

Haruki Komi

Akinori Konoha

Keiji Akashi

Kōtarō Bokuto

Inarizaki:

Osamu Miya

Atsumu Miya

Suna Rintaro

Aran Ojiro

Shinsuke Kita

Misc.:

Keishin Ukai

Ittetsu Takeda

Kiyoomi Sakusa

TV Shows:

Wednesday:

Wednesday Addams

Enid Sinclair

Xavier Thorpe

Tyler Galpin

Ajax Petropolus

Cobra Kai:

Miguel Diaz

Robby Keene

Hawk/Eli Moskowitz

Demetri Alexpoulos

Tory Nichols

Samantha LaRusso

Riverdale:

Jughead Jones

FP Jones

Archie Andrews

Sweetpea

Reggie Mantle

Betty Cooper

Veronica Lodge

Toni Topaz

Cheryl Blossom

South Park (Aged up (COLLEGE) and/or Post Covid!):

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Kenny McCormick

Eric Cartman

Tolkien Black

Craig Tucker

Tweek Tweak

Clyde Donovan

Big Mouth:

Judd Birch

Human Resources:

Maury Beverley

Connie LaCienega

Emmy Fairfax

Rochelle Hillhurst

Mona

Pete Doheny

Youtubers/Streamers:

Youtubers:

Sam and Colby

Markiplier

CoryXKenshin

EddieVR

JuicyFruitSnacks

JoshDub

Mully

YourNarrator

Streamers:

Quackity

Jschlatt

Sapnap

KarlJacobs

Slimecicle

Foolishgamers

Horror Characters:

Slashers:

Ghostface (Billy Loomis and Stu Macher)

Michael Myers

Jason Vorhees

Brahms Heelshire

Creepypastas:

Ticci Toby

Masky

Hoodie

Eyeless Jack

Homicidal Liu

Jeff The Killer

Ben Drowned

Laughing Jack

My Do's And Don'ts:

Do's:

Kinks

Smut

Fluff

Angst

Headcanons

Oneshots

Don'ts:

Spam me

Piss, Scat, Throw up, Vore.

Do NOT request any pedophilia or r@pe.

OKAY so now that you guys know everything, basically, you can request it because i honestly can't think of anything on my own. ALSO i am looking to do commissions, if you are interested then please let me know <33 Smoke your pervy little hearts out <33

126 notes · View notes

fourraccoonsinacoat · 7 months

Text

Head Full of Ghosts: Chapter 3

Pairing: Astarion x Dark Urge

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge, as well as the friendships and relationships she has with her companions. Plus, everyone gives shit to Gale about his cooking. Tags: Slow Burn, Angst, Pining, Humor, Violence, Friends to Lovers, Developing Friendships, Developing Romance, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature (Will eventually be Explicit, just not there yet.) Current Chapter Count: 3/? Read on AO3 Current Word Count: 13,050

Author Notes: I'm finishing up the fourth chapter and realized I never uploaded this chapter to Tumblr. So here we are! Getting this fic back on track and should have the next chapter up soon.

Chapter 3: Monsters

“You know she is a hag, yes?” Lae’zel’s severe and even voice cut through the sticky swamp air like a hot knife through a wedge of Durinbold cheese.

The bog was a foul place, both in atmosphere and in smell. The air was thick with humidity and an ever-present smell of wet rot. Trees sagged and bent at jagged angles, their tired limbs wilting in the gloom, and a thin fog seemed to permeate every corner of the swamp. A hazy light filtered through the tree canopy, casting blotchy shadows upon the muddy ground.

The path the four companions were following sank into marsh every several yards, forcing the group to pick their way through mire and muck. The slog was slow, and there was much complaining. Especially from one particular high elf who no one had told not to wear freshly polished leather boots.

“I am like…seventy percent sure she is a hag, yeah,” Eli answered as she carefully stepped over a rotted tree limb, half submerged in murky filth. “I mean, she’s entirely too eccentric to just be a normal human, right?”

She looked over to Astarion for support, who was currently trying to rub some manner of sludge off his doublet.

“She certainly isn’t playing Three-Dragon Ante with a full deck, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Astarion replied coolly before throwing up his hands and huffing in irritation, the stain unyielding.

Lae’zel hummed for a moment, considering. “Gale is eccentric and a normal human, is he not?” she questioned, amber eyes fixing on their resident wizard who, at the moment, was trying to free the hem of his robe from the clawing grasp of a gnarled tree root.

Eli sighed. “Gale has a magic bomb capable of leveling entire cities in his chest. I would not call that normal.”

“You wound me, Eli.” Gale responded in a good-natured tone as he tugged his robe free and the group began moving once more.

“You consumed an enchanted bracer yesterday at breakfast,” Eli quipped, recalling the morning fondly. Karlach had been fascinated, quickly trying to get Gale to absorb several other items from their camp hoard and asking him if he “took on their powers,” as she put it.

Eli chuckled at the memory before concluding, “You’re as deranged as the rest of us and it’s not up for debate.”

Their little group really had become a hodgepodge of oddities over the past few days. Karlach was settling in well, because where else would she fit other than with their traveling sideshow which included a vampire who could walk in the sun, a warlock who was recently transformed into a part-devil by his patron, an amnesiac with the compulsion to murder anything that looked at her crossly, and all the rest of them.

Eli was starting to wonder if she had a penchant for picking up emotionally constipated strays. They were all kind of outcasts in some way or another. People just trying to get along in a world that had kicked them in the teeth and tossed them out with the garbage. She still had no idea why they’d all just sort of accepted her as their group’s figurehead, but she was beginning to feel a certain affinity for their gang of misfits. They were all fighting battles both within and without, and Eli couldn’t help but feel a certain kinship with people who were struggling with their own personal demons, just as she was.

At least as the day wore on her constant headache had faded to a dull throb, rather than the brain splitting white-hot pain she’d been experiencing. Her memories were still lost, and whenever she tried to call upon them she was only met with flashes of red violence. Images of mangled bodies, ruptured limbs, stringy viscera…it all melted and jumbled together in a confusing blur of chaos. Her dreams were no better, and her nighttime raids on the camp’s supply of books and wine were no secret among the party. Both Shadowheart and Karlach had even joined her on separate occasions. Hells, she’d have a proper book club up and running soon.

“So,” Lae’zel’s stern voice brought Eli out of her musings. “You trust this hag?”

“No,” Eli nearly spat the word out in a laugh. Auntie Ethel, as she called herself, was a lot of things, and trustworthy was not one of them. Astarion’s assessment of Ethel as ‘positively demented’ was accurate, and hags were not known as an honest sort.

“Good,” said Lae’zel, slightly drawing out the word in approval. “Lest I remind you that the only way to remove a ghaik tadpole is a Zaith'isk.”

Eli could feel the gith’s eyes on her and she did her best not to bristle under what she was sure was a judgmental stare. “I am aware,” Eli said, trying to sound unfazed and relatively certain she was failing miserably.

Lae’zel continued to press. “And a Zaith'isk can only be found at a gith creche.” She laid emphasis on the last two words, as if she were pointing something obvious out to a very dimwitted child.

Eli felt the back of her neck and ears start to go warm as irritation stirred in her chest and tightened her shoulders. The throbbing headache at the back of her skull began to growl.

“You don’t say…” Eli replied, quietly pleading to whatever deity she couldn’t remember worshipping to please just let her have the rest of the day without feeling like her brain was on fire.

“I just did say.” Lae’zel shot back, drawing a sidelong glare from Eli.

Eli liked Lae’zel. For the most part. When she wasn’t threatening tiefling refugees or complaining about the lack of spice in Gale’s cooking. Though, to her credit, Gale’s food was kind of bland.

The gith fighter was blunt, stubborn, opinionated, fierce and one hell of a talent when it came to steel and blade. Eli appreciated Lae’zel’s steadfast loyalty and belief in her people’s culture, and even felt a slight pang of jealousy for it. It grounded the warrior and gave her a perspective from which to view the world, something Eli did not have. Culture, family, heritage…they were the building blocks of a person. Even if a person rejected or outgrew those foundational aspects of themselves, they still provided guiderails – or at the very least an anchor for one’s identity.

Without those things, Eli felt adrift and directionless in a vast and swirling ocean, constantly beaten upon the rocks before being dragged back down to drown.

“Explain to me why we are seeking this hag who you do not trust and who cannot remove the tadpole,” Lae’zel said, driving at a point Eli knew was coming and one she wasn’t sure she had a decent argument against. “Instead, should we not be pursuing a more productive course of action?”

Eli sighed, rubbing at her temples as her headache began to mount. “I’m curious,” she responded rather lamely.

“I see,” Lae’zel said with a tone that indicated the gith was wholly unimpressed by Eli’s reasoning. “So, the situation at Emerald Grove continues to escalate, goblins continue to terrorize the Sword Coast, the druid healer remains missing, and the tadpoles in our brains remain unremoved.” Eli internally cringed at the chiding way in which Lae’zel spoke. “But, let us humor your curiosity. What is the worst that could happen?”

The question hung in the air uneasily. The worst that could happen was…really fucking bad. Everyone could die. Eli and her merry band of misfits could all turn into mind flayers. The Grove could fall under the absolute rule of a tyrant and racist. And the Sword Coast could get fully and aggressively fucked. Why was this all her problem, again?

“Lae’zel, was that sarcasm I just heard?” Astarion chimed in, and Eli felt a pull of appreciation towards him. He probably hadn’t meant to run interference between Eli and her interrogator, but she was thankful for it all the same.

Truth be told, there was a small part of her that hoped Auntie Ethel did have a solution for their tadpole troubles. While they weren’t the most honorable of sorts, hags were rather enterprising and shrewd. And given the nature of their unconventional problem, an unconventional solution would more than likely be required. Besides, if things went south, they could just kill her. That seemed to be a particular specialty of their group.

“Sarcasm often accompanies truth,” Lae’zel said with a pointed tone.

Astarion chuckled lightly and Eli felt something not unlike faint affection flutter in her chest. She very quickly shoved it down into the black hole within herself where all the things she didn’t want to deal with went. Nope. That wasn’t good. That was the very last thing she needed right now.

It had been happening more and more since the night she’d made a complete fool of herself, drunkenly asking him if they were still friends. Still friends. Gods, she was such a loser, and Astarion surely thought she was a total basket case after that encounter. But, every now and then, he’d give her a smirk or say something that caused a laugh to bubble up, and then that weird and endearing feeling would creep up and holy shit was this not the time or the place! Besides, that man had more red flags than a circus, and it wasn’t like Eli was a bastion of sanity, so together they’d be about as functional as wet hot garbage.

“How profound,” Astarion continued, oblivious to Eli’s distressing mental spiral. “This little jaunt in the swamp does seem to be a rather unhygienic deviation from more pressing concerns.”

The appreciation she’d felt for him earlier poofed away, and Eli glared. “I will turn this whole party around if you all don’t stop your complaining!”

Astarion’s eyes lit up with delight. “Oh, please do! I worry the putrid scent of squalor and anguish is never coming out of my clothes.” He ran his hands down his doublet, trying to smooth out some wrinkles, and sighed in an overdramatic fashion.

“I, for one, am looking forward to seeing Ethel again,” Gale chimed in as they continued to trod down the muddy path. All of them would be washing muck off their clothes for days. “Fey and the like often have access to magic that even a wizard of my caliber cannot wield. This deviation - as you put it, Astarion - could prove very advantageous if we play our cards right.”

Eli resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder at Astarion, who had surely just rolled his eyes so hard he could see up into his own skull. She could practically feel the disdain radiating off of him and pointedly kept her eyes ahead, scanning the dreary bogland for any sign that they may be nearing Auntie Ethel’s dwelling.

It took Astarion all but two seconds to quip back at the wizard. “Gale, your opinion is like the filth on my boots. Unwanted and irritating,” he said with all the cheer of a muddy wet cat as he paused to kick some grime off the bottom of one of said boots.

“It is a wonder any of you have survived this long,” Lae’zel said, glowering at Astarion as he continued to preen.

“We are a rather astonishing group, aren’t we?” Eli asked with a small smirk, glancing back at the gith.

Lae’zel just rolled her eyes.

Eli was glad for the banter, as it provided some distraction from the pulsating headache growing behind her eyes. However, as they rounded a bend in the path where the trail began to climb upwards towards the interior of the bog, snaking away from the swampy shoreline, Eli was struck with a surging agony that flashed white hot throughout her head. She doubled over, the heel of her hand pressing into the ridge of her brow as a hiss escaped from behind her clenched teeth. Her stomach churned angrily, a hunger rising from deep within that neither food nor drink would satiate. Her head felt as if it were shattering into fragments, her conscious self being pulled apart at the seams as something else tried to push its way to the surface. Something feral, and frenzied and starved.

From somewhere behind her, Eli thought she heard Gale muttering a question. She then felt a hand on her shoulder and wanted nothing more in the world than to seize it and dig her nails into the supple flesh. She wanted to smell the crisp metallic tang of blood in the air as her fingers peeled back skin as if she were pulling the rind off a particularly ripe fruit, bloody pulp exposed and raw. The thought of her fingers sliding between muscle and skin, slick with blood, feeling fibrous sinew tear away and hearing the wet squelch and pop as she degloved flesh from limb…

Fist clenched, her nails dug into the palm of her hand as she fought to keep control. A pleasurable shiver ran down her spine as her mind entertained depraved thoughts, and for a moment she thought she may vomit where she knelt. She was not herself. Her mind was splintering with a hundred craven desires…she wanted to walk across fields of ruptured bodies and feel the viscera turn to jam between her toes. Her muscles tensed and she flinched away from the hand, standing in a near delirious state and muttering some nonsense about “needing a minute” before stumbling off into the fen.

Eli needed to put distance between herself and her companions. At least for the moment. At least until her head cleared. She slogged through the wetland, unfocused on where she was going, until she felt a dampness seeping through her boots. She stopped and blinked, trying to wrench her consciousness back from the brink. As her sight cleared and the world around her came back into focus, Eli found herself standing ankle-deep in water near a riverbank, looking out over the vast and gloomy expanse of the Chionthar River - the opposite bank obscured by fog.

Sloshing her way back to shore, Eli stepped back onto somewhat solid ground just as she heard a rustling in the thicket. Her eyes shot up to see Astarion picking through the snarl of brush and weeds that bordered the muddy shoreline. His expression was one of exasperated frustration, brow furrowed and mouth pulled into a grimace, as he tugged a booted foot free of the clinging bramble.

“Gods below, this entire place needs to be tossed into Avernus,” he grumbled as he plucked a bur off his doublet and flicked it to the ground. Astarion then glanced up at her, crimson eyes guarded, although Eli thought she caught the glimmer of something else in his gaze…a flash of something softer. But it came and went like a spark catching alight then burning out just as quickly. “Are you…alright?”

His tone was hesitant and uncertain, as if he were unused to the concept of asking after someone else. Astarion had an edge about him that never seemed to dull, as if he were always acting under the assumption that those around him would lash out at any given moment without warning. Eli wasn’t sure why, but she felt as if she recognized that particular brand of uneasiness. It was a tension that came from an impartial distrust of anyone and anything. A response to a life lived in a constant state of conflict, always ready for fight or flight. Something gnawed at the far recesses of her mind, tugging at a memory she couldn’t quite grasp. She understood that feeling, though she did not know why…

“I think I am. Now, at least," Eli said, rubbing at her eyes as her headache growled but remained tempered. Her mind seemed to be clearing and realigning itself to the present, no longer at risk of breaking and letting loose whatever atrocity lay coiled up inside herself. “You didn’t have to follow me out here. I just needed a moment to collect my thoughts.”

Astarion eyed her and raised a brow, disbelief apparent on his face. “My dear, whatever just happened in that pretty head of yours is not nearly as frivolous as you’re trying to make it seem.”

Eli winced internally. He was right, of course, and it wasn’t as if she had been subtle when she’d walked off aimlessly into the bog after being doubled over and obviously in pain. Hell, given how she must have looked in that moment, he’d probably followed her to make sure she didn’t trod blindly into a sinkpit or end up ensnared by some flesh-eating swamp ficus.

She sighed and ran a hand absentmindedly through her silvery hair. “I just don’t want to worry people,” Eli conceded. “We have enough to deal with, without adding my violent mood swings and absconded memory to the mix.” She spread her hands out, as if the gesture could represent the absolute shitstorm they dealt with on a daily basis.

Astarion considered her for a moment, expression thoughtful and impassive, before he shook his head with a small smile. “I believe you were the one who pointed out earlier that everyone in our weird little group is ‘deranged,’ as you put it.” He emphasized her choice of wording with a gesture of his hands, pantomiming plucking the word out of thin air.

The action brought a soft smile to her lips. She enjoyed Astarion’s embellishments and dramatics. The elf had a flare for the extravagant that she found both endearingly silly and strangely alluring…

Nope. No. Stop it. She shoved that twinge of attraction back down into the deep dark hole within and refocused herself. “Yeah, well, one of us needs to at least act somewhat sensible,” Eli quipped with a smirk. “Can’t have Zevlor and his lot figuring out how truly unhinged we all are. We may not get paid,” she said the last bit with more than a little fake indignation.

Astarion played along, pretending to be scandalized and clutching his nonexistent pearls. “Now that would be a tragedy. I have every intention of hiring a witch at the first opportunity to hex Gale’s cookpot so it will only produce boiled squid,” he said cheerily. “I’m assuming that won’t be cheap.”

Amused with himself, Astarion tipped his chin up, smirking at Eli with all the wiliness of a fox. For her part, Eli just rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop a grin from spreading on her face as she imagined Gale, flustered and put out, ranting about the juvenile use of magic.

A thought occurred to her, then. Something unbidden and completely inane, but one she latched onto desperately. It was a joke that had bubbled up from the deep recesses of her broken memory, and though she had no idea where she heard it or in what context, she was delighted at the prospect of finding something among the rubble of her ruined mind. It set the tiniest flicker of hope alight within her that maybe, eventually, she may be able to recover more.

Eyes bright, and with a reserved sort of hopefulness stirring in her chest, she gave Astarion a genuinely dorky grin and blurted out with all the self-restraint of a toddler; “What do you call a magician who cooks?”

Surprise overtook the elf’s face, and he tilted his head curiously with a small laugh, thrown by the sudden and highly abrupt tangent. Before he could speak, however, a snap sounded in the brush behind the pair. Both Eli and Astarion turned to find a man, tall and well built with slicked back hair the color of burnt coffee. His mouth, framed by a neatly kept goatee, was turned down in a grimace, jaw clenched, and in his hands the man held a very large crossbow - loaded and aimed in their direction.

“I’d think twice before you get much closer to him, miss,” the stranger warned, eyes darting from Eli to Astarion as if he expected the elf to set upon him any second. “He’s dangerous.”

Eli frowned at the stranger, fingers curling reflexively into the beginning gesture for her Eldritch Blast incantation. “And yet you’re the one with a crossbow pointed at me,” she said warily, watching the man’s fingers for any twitch or movement on the trigger.

Next to her, she could feel Astarion stiffen defensively, but he remained quiet. Had the stranger not had a crossbow bolt aimed in her direction, Eli would have been more curious who he was and his connection to Astarion. Due to his comments, she assumed he was aware of Astarion’s vampirism, though she couldn’t be certain. Her curiosity, however, would have to simmer in the face of their current predicament.

“Call it a precaution,” the stranger said before tipping the crossbow in the direction of Astarion. “You know what he is? Vampire spawn.” He said the last bit as if it was supposed to be some revelation, venom laced within his words.

Eli studied the tip of the crossbow bolt, noting how the sharpened edge glimmered faintly in the hazy light. Silver? She glanced back and caught the man’s eyes with her own, a growing dislike darkening her expression.

“Old news, my friend,” she said with more than a hint of antagonistic sarcasm. “Known that since I met him.”

This drew a somewhat startled noise from Astarion, whose gaze she could suddenly feel turn to her. “You did?” he asked with a genuine note of surprise in his voice.

Astarion had not admitted to being a vampire spawn until the night Eli caught him creeping in on her as she slept, hungry and poised to bite. Up until that point, though, he’d done a rather poor job of concealing his nature. What with the bite scars on his neck and his pale, almost pearlescent, complexion. The fact he could walk in sunlight was an oddity, of course, but given that she’d just flown through Avernus on a mind flayer ship after having an illithid tadpole inserted into her brain, a vampire traipsing about in the sun wasn’t even the weirdest thing she’d seen that day.

She chanced a quick sidelong glance at Astarion and quirked an eyebrow. “Well, yeah. It was kind of the worst kept secret in Faerûn. Shadowheart and I even had a bet about who you’d try to bite first.” Eli still owed her a bottle of sweetwine, come to think of it.

She shook the thought from her head and turned her attention back to the stranger who still had his crossbow trained on them. “Mind introducing yourself before you start a fight you’ll regret?” she asked, watching his body language for any sign that he may back down now he knew Eli was fully aware of her companion’s condition.

The stranger glared at her, and Eli sighed. Another day, another fight with some ignorant douchecanoe who was wasting the last moments of their life antagonizing her. That darkness inside of her, the thing that craved slaughter and whose language was only violence, shifted restlessly like a dog in a cage, pressing at the barricades with a cruel need. She fought to push it back, but gods she could imagine her hands tearing into his gut, ripping dying organs from the yawning wound, warm and wet. The iron scent of blood in the air. The agony twisting his face as he writhed. It would be beautiful brutality.

Her headache was mounting once again, and through the throbbing pressure she heard the man say; “You can call me monster hunter.”

He braced his crossbow, targeting Astarion, and Eli was moving faster than coherent thought. She felt a force collide with her left shoulder, nearly knocking her off balance, and then the world melted away into a manic savagery that was both achingly familiar and terrifyingly transcendent.

Flesh would rend. Bone would snap. And her hunger would be sated. For now.

The headache faded, and Eli was suddenly aware of a thick and deep pain radiating from her shoulder. Her mind swam dully, like a bobber struggling to stay above water as forces tried to pull it down. She felt…tired. Dazed.

Why was she on the ground? Was that her blood spattered across her bracers? Why was Astarion yelling?

“Godsdamnit! Why would you do that!”

Something jostled her, and the pain in her shoulder flared. She groaned and tried to turn her head towards Astarion’s voice only to find she was propped up against him. He was kneeling next to her, a hand braced against her back to keep her seated upright while his other hand pressed into her shoulder. She grimaced, trying to ignore the searing agony rocketing down her left side, but found herself unable to focus.

She looked up into Astarion’s face, head bobbing to the side, and squinted at him. A range of emotions flitted across his face as he looked down at her. Anger, frustration, exasperation…all common day-to-day expressions for the snarky and uppity elf. But there was something else, too. Something in the clench of his jaw, the tightness of his lips and the way his sharp, clear eyes stayed fixed on her. Concern…

“Do…what?” she asked, confused.

Eli continued to watch his face, thinking dully about when she’d ever seen him worried and coming up with nothing. Well, she wasn’t in a great state of mind at the moment and kind of just wanted to go to sleep. She was probably just forgetting…

Her mind drifted…eyes closing wearily…

Astarion shook her gingerly and she let out a noise somewhere between a hiss and a growl. “That bolt you idiotically decided to jump in front of was laced with poison! Do. Not. Fall. Asleep.” He pressed at the wound on her shoulder and her eyes wrenched back open, pain flooding her senses and slamming adrenaline into her system.

“Fucking rude!” she yelped.

Then, the pain was fading and a slow numbness was creeping down from her shoulder. It felt cold and soothing, and she was so tempted to just relax into it and fade away. Her head dropped and came to rest against his chest, eyelids fluttering closed again.

“I think I just like to annoy you…” she said weakly, then gave a hiccupping sort of laugh.

Astarion was trying to jostle her out of the daze again, only this time there was no pain and she felt too content to open her eyes as her head rested against him.

“Eli! Eli! Shit!” He sounded so far away. So far…far…away…

“What do you call a magician who cooks?” Astarion asked, a hint of panic coiling around his words.

From somewhere very distant, Eli remembered she hadn’t finished telling him her joke. A small laugh caught in her throat as she thought about it…but she really didn’t feel like talking right now. Gods, she wanted to sleep…

Astarion was shaking her again. “What do you call a magician who cooks! Eli!”

Fucking hell, he was loud.

Eli groaned and tried to lift her head. Too heavy…

…she needed to finish the joke…

“A…saucerer…” she said lamely, then laughed, head still slumped against his chest. She’d have to tell Gale…

There was some muttering, then a feeling of being lifted. The ground was gone. Her arms sagged.

“You will not die,” she heard Astarion say from miles away. “You will not die because that was just awful, and it will not be the last thing you ever say."

Eli smiled to herself. She was hilarious…

Everything went dark.

35 notes · View notes