#eli5

[brennacedria]

Can someone explain to me like I'm five exactly why I thought a cup of coffee at 8pm was a good idea?

[aquarianlights]

Okay hive mind. Please explain something to your tumblr elder.

How in the fuckeroni did we go from "oc" to "blorbo"???

Please. For the love of dogs. Someone. Anyone. Tell me the lore.

[frodothefair]

ELI5, the Rohan edition

Inspired by my recent forays into politics and civil rights -- topics I haven't considered in any kind of depth since I was in college -- I thought of the following scenario.

I am fairly certain that in his early days of becoming King, Éomer -- who is very good at warfare and leading men though dangerous situations -- had quite a bit of trouble understanding legalese, and the finer points of political give and take.

As a result, I'm sure he uttered the following words on at least one occasion, with an exasperated sigh, and with an optional clasping of the forehead:

"Verily, can someone please explain what the heart of the matter is, such that a child of five summers might understand it?!"

And then it becomes an inside joke between him and Éothain, and is repeated behind closed doors on many occasions.

[creatrixcymraes]

today my weather app says it is 3° outside but it feels like -2°

I have never ever managed to understand how it can "feel" a different temperature than it "is". Like I understand wind chill factor and stuff but idk how this difference arises 😅

If someone who has this arcane knowledge wants to explain it to me like I'm developmentally disabled (which I am) I would greatly appreciate that!

[shenoego]

I have a question!

Is a relationship between a transgender man, and a regular female a heterosexual relationship with extra steps?

[ihavenomouthandimustyap]

Can someone explain to me what a pulsar is in idiot who doesn't understand physics language?

[naptime23-7]

this is a really good explanation of the crowdstrike situation!!

idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.

some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.

so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.

before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'

so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.

this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.

it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.

it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.

another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.

and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.

but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.

crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.

a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.

[bellaciao-ciao-ciao]

imagine being this much of a sociopath

[arctic-hands]

explain Genshin Impact to me like I just time traveled from twenty nineteen and haven't noticed anything else yet

[psychopowerriflehypnotized2]

I'm new to tumblr stuff, can someone like summarize what exactly an "art fight" is?

[tinse1town]

Okay wait can anyone explain this to me in simple terms this is abhorrent to hear out of nowhere.

[justanothersong]

HELP. I keep coming across fanfic terms I do not understand.

WTF do

BEDPOST

and

HEA (okay I got this one)

mean?!

[trkkr47]

Cloud. Love it!