#elle goes insane

[rotten1angel]

it would be amazing if you wrote about geto being a dad tbh. like i know he has the twins but i feel like i need to see him with a baby !!!

I LOVE U FOR REQUESTING DAD!SUGU !!!!

anyways im a slut for suguru's boobs so they make an appearance but no nsfw

anyways hope u enjoy my lil dad!sugu blurb

the late afternoon sunlight peeking through the curtains wakes you up from your much-needed nap. you blink wearily before rising, just as panic sets into your system. you had fallen asleep while watching your baby, hanako. you look into her playpen before swiftly realizing she wasn’t there. you quickly get to your feet, beginning to pace as you wrack your brain. the girls had gone to the mall and likely we’re still there, given it was only 5pm. you maniacally rifle through the living room, moving through the kitchen and then down the hallway. your socked feet pad rapidly on the wooden floors. your heartbeat continued to accelerate the longer you went without seeing the small head of black hair. You rubbed your eye with the heel of your palm as you went through each bedroom, making sure not to peek at anything personal in mimiko and nanako’s rooms. You get to the third room, hanako’s nursery, which, yes, you probably should have checked first, but hey! It was your first time having a baby and not knowing where she was, logic flew out the window the moment you didn't see her.

you open the cracked door and your heart skips a beat at the sight before finally calming down from your search. in the rocking chair next to hanako’s crib was suguru, rocking gently back and forth, shirt off (yum!), and little hanako sleeping peacefully against his soft pecs. one of your hands rested over your heart as you heaved a sigh of relief at the sight. suguru’s mouth quirks up at your disheveled state. 

“i didn’t know you were home,” you say, your tone only slightly above a whisper as to not wake hanako. “and i didn’t know where hanako had gone.”

suguru nods gently before getting up from the rocking chair. he makes sure to cradle hanako close to his chest as he does so before gently laying her down in her crib and putting her baby blanket over her. he pads across the room to where you stood by the door, his hands coming up to rest at your waist. 

“m'sorry to worry you, mama,” he whispers into your hair as he presses a kiss to your hairline, you all but melt into him as he gently leads you out of the nursery before shutting the door behind the two of you.  

“was she okay when you got here? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to fall asleep but her show was playing and i just drifted off and—”

“it’s okay.” your husband soothes, cutting you off effectively as his hand rubbing small circles onto your back, “hanako was just fine, she was just watching her show, but she was starting to drift off so i took her to the nursery and did some skin-on-skin contact.” 

you hum a sound of acknowledgement as suguru runs his hands through your hair now, gently, just to get the stray bits in order. “and there’s no need to apologize either, you spend all day taking care of our child, i’m not going to berate you for being tired, my love.” 

you melt against the man, letting his heat radiate into your bones before you hear the front door opening and the unmistakable chatter of mimiko and nanako. you back away from suguru, not before he plants a soft kiss on your lips, to go and greet them. suguru follows you into the living room, and his heart soars as he sees you listening to nanako as she shows you all what her and mimiko got at the mall, and as you glance over at him, your face still a bit flushed from your nap, and a wide grin decorating your face, smiling softly back is all he can think to do.

[dreamissy]

If I roll one more 10 on my persuasion check on Yurgir I am going to set myself on fire!

[caruliaa]

the vibe of the "your integrity makes me look small... its like im wasting you honor" line is when us mutuasl r all in fandoms for and have intrests that are actually well written and made and like actually good and intresitng to someone who isnt dumb and ur jsut here with ur cringe blorbos from ur childish shows

[gayeredin]

think i summarized what eredin felt when avallac’h left the aen elle in the game timeline quite well a while ago…. when i said ”a lingering longing for someone’s presence that you took for granted because them being around you had just become natural to you”. never considered them dissappearing from your life and suddenly had a hole in your gut when they went, an emptiness you didn’t know was filled by that person in the first place. he prbly went the humiliation route with his revenge because he felt humiliated, too. especially when he was most likely planning to make avallac’h his viceroy before he was betrayed…no way it would’ve been ge’els if avallac’h had stayed because i think eredin’s respect for ava displayed in the books is genuine. curses are personal and that was his way of trying to get rid of all the anger (while also wanting to capture ciri ofc). killing him was out of the question, it wasn’t something he even had on the table as an option. as ciri said, “he didn’t wish to kill him”. and as avallac’h himself said, eredin swiftly eliminated anyone who knew he had killed auberon…. except him. something which i wouldn’t put as much weight into if avallac’h didn’t also refuse to explain why that is. if it was because eredin wouldn’t be able to kill him anyway due to how powerful he is, why not just say that? eredin is made out to seem very bloodthirsty in w3, so refusal to kill… it’s weird.

imagining caranthir & imlerith both wanting to kill avallac’h and trying to talk eredin into it to no avail…. it’s a pretty funny thought. also unfortunate for them because they would have definitely captured ciri if ava wasn’t in the way.

fairly noted, the rumour that eredin & ava were supposed to secretly work together in w3 would have explained a lot of this. however, since that didn’t happen, eredin’s actions just come off as strange. why did he stall for avallac’h, fighting geralt, when he knew exactly what avallac’h was doing? why didn’t he go after him with caranthir to capture ciri like he had intended to the whole game? maybe he let go of the pettiness and let himself be content with that their main goal is the same in the end; saving their home world. by the end of the fight, when he tells geralt what he knows, perhaps he was hoping it was already done when he confessed what was happening. he did try to keep a close eye on what was going on in the tower, given that the boss fight location he teleports to has a great view of tor gvalch’ca.

also, is there a possibility that he knew avallac’h was the one summoning him with the sunstone? if he already knew what avallac’h intended to do, he was purposefully getting into the trap. they make a point of the words to summon the naglfar, “i give you my heart but i shall take your head”… they act as though ciri is the one casting the spell, even though ciri just watched ava infuse the stone with the words…. maybe cdpr thought it would sound too gay if ava had recited it out loud because there was no good reason for ciri being the one to do it. maybe avallac’h didn’t want to say it, though, would be fitting. avallac’h proceeds to let eredin die with no hesitation because he does not have the same amount of attachment to eredin, and there is something especially dark about him using a spell like that to summon eredin to his death…imo.

he’s more ruthless than eredin in a way because he did not hesitate either to let his son die, as long as ciri would live and the frost would be stopped. a son he created and raised. gwent straight up labels caranthir his favorite *son*, i’m not making shit up. avallac’h didn’t just see him as a project, though i do believe that’s what caranthir thought, because avallac’h is awful at showing affection. he was visibly shaken by ciri going off to kill caranthir, but he did nothing to stop her. he is emotionally choosing to save ciri, lara’s only “daughter”, and leaving everything at home behind to save not only them her as well, “the end justifies the means” taught to him as a sage in tir ná lia still rules him because the end goal is the same. he’s just choosing a different route, much like he tried to in book (which was a massive failure and atrocity because anything he would've tried to accomplish a disgusting goal like that would have an awful process).

since he did feel sadness at caranthir’s demise despite being responsible for it, maybe a tiny fraction of that was also for the man he had spent centuries with, working side-by-side and commiting atrocities that only the two of them would be able to talk about.

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

1x10

spencer reid x morgan!reader

note: its spencer x yn crumbs, shes like barely in it i just want to put something out because ive been feeling burnt out and only these small blurbs are helping me so expect more

request more criminal minds moments that i can insert these two in! im already planning to do when the team goes to Derek's hometown

word count: 587

“Easy there, touch guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.” Derek teased as he walked into the kitchen area, Spencer was standing not facing him pouring an extensive amount of sugar into his coffee.

“I need something to wake me up.” The younger boy mumbled.

“Late night?” “Very.” 

Derek, taking that comment the wrong way, said, “My man.” He then suddenly remembered his little sister calling him last night saying she was going over to the young Dr. Reid’s home. “Hold up- weren’t you with my sister last night?”  

“Wasn’t that kind of late night.” This response put Morgan at ease to continue his teasing remarks, “Okay, so tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night?”

The older man started walking, patting Spencer on the shoulder just as the young man was taking a sip of his sugar-coffee concoction, “Wait, let me guess. Memorising some obscure textbook?” Spencer finaling turned to face the man, an unamused look present on his face as Derek continued, “No, no, no. Working on cold fusion. No, my baby sister was there.. I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at the physics mistakes.”

Spencer shook his head slightly, “Actually there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.” Derek, in a state of disbelief and not knowing what to say, responded with, “Right.” Before leaving Spencer alone in the kitchenette and making his way to his desk. Only Y/n was there at her own desk, doing her paperwork. She looked up to see the two walking somewhat towards her.

“I don’t know what you see in him.” Derek mumbles sitting down in his chair, but before he could Elle comes walking through the bullpen saying, “Hey, Hotch wants everyone at the round table.”

Y/n immediately made her way to follow Elle, saying to Derek, “How can you not?” as she walked away and before Derek could leave too, Spencer asked him about what was really keeping him up. The nightmares. Derek always seemed to be that person Spencer could lean on, they were family at this point. You have to be to do a job like theirs.

-bonus-

The team got to the crime scene site, Spencer was poking around when he noticed wax on the scene.

"Candle wax?" JJ asked, confused, Spencer only replied with, “Candles are used in rituals.” 

“Also used on birthday cakes.” Gideon was adamant that this was not a ritual killing, Y/n did agree but wasn’t turning down the idea all together. 

But what Gideon said seemed to hit a knowledge nerve on Spencer as he went into one of his usual info-dumping sessions, “Actually, they were originally used to protect the birthday celebrant from demons for the coming year.” Spencer let out a smug-sounding chuckle that made Y/n need to hide her smile behind her hand, “As a matter of fact, down to the fourth century, Christianity rejected the birthday celebration as a pagan ritual.” He ended with his usual smile, the one that always made Y/n want to give him a hug.

Though, everyone else looked at him like he was insane for just knowing that off the top of his head. The sheriff that was on the scene with them asked, “What kind of doctor are you?” And that was when Y/n had to let her laugh go, seeing the look on Spencer’s face. 

~taglist~

@chrissyclg @pillsbury-doughgirl @the-holy-trinity-l @theillestvillain3 @random000000sblog @flow33didontsmoke

[pearl-blue-musings]

Wine night YES!!!! Ohhh hohohohohooo do I have a nice one!!! Academic rivals that are working on the same lecture, they can't stand one another despite admitting that MAYBE they're not AS BAD as they think they are. At the library they both find themselves reaching for the same book. Banter wars! Sass!! And.....pent up stress that leads to...oh!!! Thank goodness NO ONE comes back here Q.Q

Oooooo!!!!!! Oh man the set up for this is so so so real!! I hope you’re okay with genshin impact!!

You rub at your elbow when the book you were reaching for falls to the ground. You go to pick it up, ignoring the hat clad scholar scoffing at you. Of all the people to run into at this time of night in the house of daena…

“Tch, don’t tell me you’re actually gonna read this? Looks like someone is finally using their brain here.” Of course, it had to be him. The newest Vahumana scholar and representative from the InterDarshan Competition who just so happens to be the Lesser Lord’s ward. Ever since he joined, he’s given you unnecessary academic competition and it’s been driving you insane. Every time you’ve written a research article, he’s always the first to pick it apart.

You snatch the book off the ground before he has a chance to reach it. “Are you done? Is this what you have to do to make up for your lack of height? Be an absolute dick? Your little mommy can’t swoop in all the time and bail you out.” You cross your arms indignantly and smirk at him in front of the bookcase. Wanderer, or Hat Guy as you’ve called him, clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. He tries to get past you to look for another collection of records nearby. Finally having enough of his shit, you stop him and get in his way. A deep sigh escapes his lips and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Get the fuck out of my way.”

“No.”

“Do you plan on obstructing my research more by being a nuisance?”

“Hmm,” you hum, “you know all about that don’t you? Always having something snarky to say to everything I publish!”

He crosses his arm and flicks his hat. “I wouldn’t do that if you knew what the hell you were talking about. If you did better research, I wouldn’t have to correct you.”

That strikes a nerve.

He tries to push pass you but you hold firm. Getting more irritated by the second, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the bookshelf. His nose brushes against yours as he breathes angrily above you. “You,” he seethes out, “are getting in my way and on my last nerve. Now for the last fucking time, move.”

For some reason, your heart is beating out of your chest with how close he is. You dart your eyes away from his intense stare briefly. “No.”

“Fuckin…”

He leans in to kiss you, pressing his body close to yours as the kiss deepens. You tilt your head to the side as all of your unsaid emotions are coming front and center. One hand is firmly on your hip while his other is above you, you think, holding onto the bookshelf. He bites at your lip possessively and hums into your mouth. The kiss ends suddenly and you flutter your eyes open. Just what the hell was that? You’re not sure but maybe-

“Got my book.”

You blink dumbfoundedly as he has the book he needs in one hand, smirking at your expression as he drags his thumb over his lip.

“Thanks for getting in my way,” he rumbles out, “you should do it more often.”

Elle’s Wine Night anything goes!!

[amaramizuki666]

Shared sensation part.3

Danny couldnt feel his link anymore, his bond had completely dissolved when he died. Now even if him and his soulmate reconnected they could never revive their bond.

Danny still only felt numbness, well exept when he got electrocuted, hit with ghost hunting tech, or hurt with ecto plasma. Yeah not the best to feeling to only feel pain, but sometimes danny felt the pain was the only thing that kept him grounded.

It's been 3 years since he became phantom and 2 years since he became ghost king. And danny has learned a lot about being a ghost. Like 1) ghosts where suposed to still have their soulmate in death. The reson Danny aparntly didnt keep his bond was because he was rejected, at least that is what frostbite told him.

2) ghosts are very protective of their soul bonds and danny is no exception to this. He feels his core screaming for its other half every second of every day. Somedays the only thing keeping him going is his protection and space obsession. But still somedays it felt like he was going to go insane.

At one point he tried to order clockwork to tell him where his soulmate was so he could find him and try and convince him they could still be togeather even without the ties of their soul bond. He wanted to tell his soulmate he would do anything for them, he would protect him if he stayed with him no matter the cost.

"Danny?" Sam questions looking at him with concern "you good?". Danny blinked and nodded, they where currently in Danny's lair in the zone because after his parents found out about him being phantom they didnt take it well and let's say the GIW got involved.

"I'm fine sam, I just feel empty" danny says leaning back into his throne. "I understand danny, when the GIW blocked mine and tucker's bond it felt like my world was ripped away, it felt like my soul was in a void, I dont know how you are still sane" sam says sitting in her own throne to his right.

As a members of phantoms council she, tucker, jazz, even wes had their own thrones beside danny. "I'm not sure if I sould call myself sane, my morals have become very sewed to human standards" danny sighed. "Well you got rejected by your soulmate, died, got cloned by a frootloop, and got vivisected by your parents plus some. I'd say it's only fair your morals are fucked" sam states.

Danny chuckled "how is elle?" Sam inquired "oh shes good, in Rome right now" danny says happy to share what is going on with his daughter. Elle was made from his DNA, his ectoplasm, she is his daughter and one of the only reasons he hasn't gone off the deep end yet.

Danny held the goblet of ecto dejecto to his lips when he felt it. Cold and smooth metal in his hand. Danny froze "danny what's wrong?" Sam asked concerned. "Its cold" danny mumbled "what-" "sam I can feel the cold, the texter of the goblet, how-" danny questioned.

He stated at the goblet in his hand in amazement. Danny felt his core whirl in utter joy. "How?" Danny asked no one in particular.

Danny felt it. His bond was back strong and fresh, but that wasnt physicly possable. It goes aginst everything. His soulmate rejected him, he died whith the rejection, it is impossible for their bond to reform. So how is his bond back.

You know what. Danny doesn't care how. He has his other half again. And by the ancients he refuses to loose them again. "Sam tell the others I'm taking momentary leave. You and tucker will be in charge while I'm gone" danny orders and she nods without questions.

Danny rose from his throne. He will fine his soulmate. And nothing was going to stop him.

part. 2

Part 4

[hawkfuller]

interview with the vampire (2022) deserves better promotion

another corn on the plate situation: amc's marketing strategy, if it even exists, sucks.

we've known this since season 1. personally, i was lucky enough to get on-board with the series early enough back while it was airing in 2022 because my algorithm knows me, knows i like (queer) dramatic pieces of media that will fuck me up emotionally for the rest of my life because i got too attached to the unstable character(s). i then convinced my equally insane friend to watch it with me (didn't take much convincing, honestly) and we've been hooked ever since, annoying people enough to tune in too.

and i know i'm not the only one. most of this show's marketing relies on its passionate fanbase, which amc is lucky to have, but mouth-to-ear promotion becomes frustrating when it seems to be the primary, and almost only, marketing tool (i say “almost” here because outlets like tvtime – thank you – have been doing the most to feed us interviews).

as of now, we've mostly gotten 2-pixel quality interviews over zoom. while i appreciate watching them because it's “better than nothing” and i love getting more content of them, whose interest does it pique other than people already invested in the fandom? we need more mainstream media news outlets to interview the cast – amc headquarters should consider themselves lucky to have cast members who love each other so much, why not use that to their advantage? give them a buzzfeed puppy interview! a gq agree to disagree interview! jacob anderson is your main actor, get him an elle song association interview! ladbible's food battle – uk vs australia vs america? get them to guess parisian vs new orleans slang? best friends test?

what will it take for amc to invest in a show that clearly deserves its already-received praise to gain a wider audience?

not only such exposure would gather more fans, but it would attract award critics attention – which the crew & cast deserve in masses. and if they wanna talk money, well, they should know the show's potential would bring a lot more capital. (it's already keeping them afloat...)

marketing investment goes a long way.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the new hyperfixation post:

CRIMINAL MINDS:

I started watching it cause I was on the internet during the Dr Reid thirst trap era and let's just say a scrawny motherfucker with autism is the surefire way to get me to watch something

Especially when everyone is going through the horrors

I am in love with the format of the show, with the whole quotes and then different characters saying the quotes and the isolated cases with the slight hints of more background for each of the characters it's really keeping me going

I'm not great with gore and shit but like it's got shitty 2000s CGI so like it's easy to tell myself it's just actors with fake blood

Also listen I had to tap into my 9 yr old undiagnosed autistic obsessed with psychopaths phase at some point

It just tickles the right parts of my brain

Anyway the characters are why I stuck around

Gideon <3333 I love that strange walrus looking man I love how he's simultaneously such an emotional rock for everyone in the BAU but also dealing with his own things, he goes into each of the crimes with such calmness and compassion and I just love that weird old man especially when he introduced himself as Jason to the little girl he was saving in that one episode, i was like HE'S MAKING HIMSELF SEEM LIKE LESS OF A THREAT BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF WITH HIS FIRST NAMEEEE, HE'S TRYING TO PUT HER AT EASE

Hotch oh man it was one scene specifically that literally started my brainrot for this guy, I wasn't that into him in the first couple of episodes and then it was revealed that he was horrifically abused by his dad and actively chose to go into a pathway that would catch people like that and people who get abused and then go on to abuse others and I just. AH. i am such a sucker for any character who has endured things that no one ever should endure at the hands of another human being and then instead of becoming completely bitter and taking the eye for an eye mindset, they vow to make sure the cycle stops with them and they may not be all sunshine and daisies and instead rough a lot of the times but they do it and they do it realistically

He's got a wife and a kid!!! He did it!! He made a better life for himself and it makes me feel like I could too, he's so strong and I feel like my strength can one day be used for more than just survival

Elle!!!! God I love her I feel like she's so realistic for a woman in her field, she's smart and strong and capable and she acknowledges all the things she has going against her, she's compassionate to the female rape victims, she gets furious at the people targeting women in particular what i would do to be this woman's friend

Reid. Oh lord. Listen I'm not on the thirst trap train but I do understand the love for this guy. My love for him however stems from the autism. The whole wanting to be useful and only knowing how to through interests and hyperfixations and feeling like he's missing out on some things cause he's different

It was the hostage situation on the train that got to me he was just so REAL and it's so awesome to see autistic people succeed in stuff like this

It's also nice to see him accepted by the team for who he is

I do also like him cause he's cool but it's easier to explain the autism stuff

Garcia - wonderful amazing spectacular I love me a confident woman in stem

Morgan - i like how he's sort of the "cool guy" archetype but his whole thing is getting into the mind of the UnSub I feel like it gives him more depth

JJ - god she's so cool and calm under pressure I love her

So yeah. The BAU is my new comfort character crew I'm taking Elle with me everywhere

But also do I have major issues with the idea of behavioural analysis in crime? Absolutely. It is so insanely subjective the way they're going off of probability, the way their precedent probably lacks temporal validity and also population validity with both the androcentrism and ethnocentrism it does feel wrong to be coming to such a conclusion about the UnSub so quickly and decisively, even though I understand their whole thing is getting there quickly. I just know that categorising human behaviour is never as simple as it seems.

Do I think they tackle some of these issues in the show? Sort of. Am I also aware this is a fictional drama TV show and it may not be that deep? Yes.

Anyway

[darkeeveeanimatesus]

I FOUND THIS THE OTHER DAY AND YOU ALL NEED TO SEE IT!!!!!

It's a Pac-man and the Ghostly Adventures story and somehow manages to align SUPER WELL with my own headcannons when it comes to Betrayus' back story and it's been making me beyond happy so far. It's so great for a variety of different reasons, and the main one being that it's really leaning into the pure untapped potential of the show.

I know I've talked about this before in regards to my own AU being a darker version of the show, since it's honestly just taking the horror potential of the dumb little show, and running with it. Like, baseline, the story is quite terrifying. It's a story about 2 brothers. One's neglected, goes insane, starts a war, commits genocide amongst a certain race of orbs (The yellow ones) loses the war, then essentially gets him and his whole army electric chaired- But his and the others ghosts stay, so they have to banish all of their spirits to an underground cavern and seal it off so they can't come back out. Years later, a high school student accidentally unleashes them, and they lay siege to the city once again. Except this time they're already dead, so everyone's kind of just screwed.

Like- that's a freaking awesome premise- don't lie to yourself.

AND THIS-

This story so far has me IN A CHOKE HOLD. IT IS SO FLIPPING AWESOME!

Also, I just found their Tumblr today too, so go check them out! 👉 @ell-arts

[nylwnder]

i love you, grumpy | cale makar

gif by gabelandeskog

a/n: this a special fic for @gravestrain as part of @antoineroussel ’s winter fic exchange 2k23!!! sorry for the delay, apparently life had more planned for me than i would have liked, but better late than never! i must say i’ve never written the grumpy/sunshine trope before nor had i written for cale yet, so this was a really fun challenge for me! i hope you like it, elle!!! enjoy bb, hugs and kisses <333333

warnings: sunshine!cale x grumpy!reader, when the grumpy breaks >>, some swearing, just fluffy

word count: 3.1k

you couldn’t help but gain a great attachment with the small, kind and rosy boy in your kindergarten class. you were very socially anxious, which is valid considering you were being forced to submerge yourself in just the beginning of an insanely toxic social structure. and for what?

he made everything better. he was so sweet with you, it’s safe to say even too sweet. he almost always focused his attention on you, and you never understood why. when you felt like you didn’t belong anywhere, he would quite literally grab your hand and drag you everywhere with him. you always wondered why he wasn’t like all the other stupid boys playing soccer and bothering the other girls. why he always, at any opportunity, chose to spend every minute of his time with you. he invaded your space everyday with his blaring sunshine personality and even if you bothered him whenever you could, you knew you needed him.

so you and cale grew up together, and you two were always learning every possible thing there is to know about each other. that also meant that you two were going everywhere and experiencing everything together. you could list every single shitty thing that's happened to you so far throughout your life, but then you can also list everything cale has done to help you through it. and it goes both ways. cale often shares his gratitude for your ability to take him out of stupid situations, or help avoid them all together. he can be quite naive sometimes, which always makes you feel the need to defend him because you couldn’t possibly see him not have that fluffy ass smile plastered on his face.

he has come to know you aren’t necessarily the most exuberant person, which is also supposedly a reason for your incapability of keeping relationships (per a handful of stupid assholes). but cale, unlike the others, never minded. he always told you how he loves the way he can break you. since he has, making his favourite sight in the whole world: a smile creeping up on the end of your lips — it’s absolutely picture perfect if he miraculously gets a giggle too. if you must say so, nobody has had a higher “breaking y/n count” than cale himself. he just adds it to all of his other impeccable stats.

once cale left for umass, it was embarrassingly obvious how you began spiralling, and it presented you with an epiphany. the main point: you are a complete simp for him and it’s honestly disgusting. you can’t even say the exact day you fell in love with him, because there wasn’t a day that you didn’t. so in conclusion, cale is the only person you need by your side, because you are entirely positive you would go insane if otherwise. even if you sometimes act like that’s not the case.

so you drove to massachusetts one day to go visit him. that night, you two headed to a campus party where cale ended up quaffing far too many drinks. dragging his mumbley ass to his room, he slumped down and laid half on the bed and half on the floor. you gave out a small laugh, not without rolling your eyes, as he was trying his very best to tell you a story he could barely make out.

that was until he started muttering things about you. you stopped fixing his room and sat on the floor beside him. he turned to look at you, his head dangling off the bed now. “i wanna tell you sm’thing” you nodded, “what does your blabbermouth wanna tell me now?”

he giggled, before he spat out everything he wanted to say, all at once. telling you how he can’t get you out of his mind, how he misses someone waiting for him after games and practices, or the way you make fun of him, and your laugh, “oh that fuckin laugh you have it kills me y/n, in the best way.”

“i think the blood is rushing to your head.” you said, almost instinctively and you didn’t know why. your self-sabotage started to seep in, and you hated how you always made yourself feel as if you aren’t worthy for someone like cale to reciprocate your feelings.

but you were so grateful for his slurred confessions, as it eased your worries of looking like a total fool when you end up telling him what you came to say. he stared looking at you, waiting for your reaction. “do you hate me now?” he asked.

“no.”

“i should’ve just shut up. oh fuck no i messed it up, im s’stupid. ugh you’re always so right i'm such a dumbass. fuck-” he began mumbling, as he sat up and rubbed his face.

“cale stop.” you demanded. “you’re not stupid. you’re stupid for thinking you're stupid.”

“thanks” he said, softly. a pinky shade started to itch up on his face.

you turned to him and looked into his glossy eyes as he nipped on his lip. “okay. i miss you. i need you. i need you so much. i always knew that but i tried so hard to act like i don't. but life’s shit with you over here” you said, while you internally cursed yourself for the incoming wave of tears.

“nobody’s ever made me feel the way you make me feel. i’m not this bitchy, grumpy asshole when i’m with you. you don’t piss me off, not like you might think. no, i love you too much to think you're annoying.” you ranted.

you heard cale sniffle, as you looked up at him you saw tears falling down his face far more than yours — predictable. you laughed at him, reached for his hand and pulled him down to sit with you. “i love you, s’much” he said, as he pulled you in for a tight hug. and you loved it, feeling like you could just finally melt into him after discarding the weight off your shoulders.

cale felt the same. he thanked the far too many beers he had to give him that push. it didn’t end up going as he had rehearsed for years, but he didn’t lose you and he was so grateful about that. “it’s been a privilege that you let me accompany you through everything, all these years. i gotta say it’s something so very special to see you, you, oh you, let yourself be, you, with me. the really you.” cale told you, his head buried in your hair. you smiled, he wasn’t really making sense but you understood.

just as much as he’s always understood you.

—

it’s an average frigid and snowy day in colorado, and you find yourself cuddled up on your couch, watching a show on crave. you were wrapped up in the custom made quilt your now boyfriend gave you when you were both in middle school. it might sound corny, but god it was comfortable.

the freshly decorated christmas tree lit up the dim apartment. it was already mid-december when you were semi-forced to set it up, despite the fact cale originally wanted to put it up in november. cale was in the kitchen cooking up dinner for the two of you. you could hear him humming tunes to himself, something he often did which you love cause he always made sure to remind you, you weren’t alone. even if you teased him that you appreciated his absence when he was on road trips, he knows you always missed his stupid humming or his frequent whining, and yeah even his heart warming hugs that he would always refused to end.

he walks over with the bowls of food in hand. organizing the plates on the coffee table in front of the two of you, he can finally accompany you in finishing what you were watching. not forgetting to gently kiss your temple as he sat down beside you. and you may or may not have devoured his “classic home cooked meal, made with love” faster than cale himself, which he immediately laughed about since you had earlier mentioned you weren’t “that, that hungry”.

your pleasantly snug state started to diminish when cale mumbled the plans for tomorrow. “what? absolutely not!” you quickly stated, as cale made his way back to you. his team was hosting their annual family skate, which you often tried to dodge since cale always seemed to somehow embarrass you in front of everyone with your lack of skating abilities. and now, the catch this year? it would be in a huge outdoor rink.

“oh come on, everyone’s gonna go. it’s gonna be adorably decorated and… don’t forget you still need to learn how to actually skate,” cale says, booping your nose. “and, look, we already finished watching everything on our list, so we gotta make a whole new list and we can do that sunday.”

“no. no, look how cold it is outside! and i don’t recall being chilly in the cozy comfort of my own home.”

you fall back when cale tries to reach his hands out to grab yours. “i’ll give you the warmest hoodie i have so you can add it on top of the 50 layers you already habitually put on. i promise, baby ” cale reasons, as you try to fight him off so he couldn’t pull you up. you shoot him a look as he pouts at you, “you love hot chocolate, with whip cream. and i’ll make sure they have marshmallows too, of course.” he continued trying to convince you along with his sweet smile.

rolling your eyes at him. “fine.”

“fine? yes? perfect! oh honey, you’ll have fun, i promise. don’t worry baby.” he says, pulling you into his chest and kissing you everywhere. you scrunched up your face, trying to move the opposite way of his attacking lips. “you let me fall, makar?” you say, sternly pointing him down and giving him a warning look. he throws his arms up, his cheeks beginning to blush naturally, “i won’t, i won’t. never would. you know that.” you scoffed, “you better say that.”

as you made your way to grab some juice, cale sneaked up behind you. “wanna go to costco?” cale suggests enthusiastically, before snuggling his nose into the crook of your neck while wrapping his arms around your waist. you shook your head, “cale, you do know you’re literally the only one that loves going there. not me.”

“lies, you love their selection of snacks and you always eat allllllll the ones i buy. if you didn’t love costco, you wouldn’t eat their — well priced — stuff either.”

“i still prefer sam’s club” you unhesitatingly denote.

cale gasps, dramatically holding his chest as you look up at him. you moved your head down to pour the juice into a cup, and you couldn’t help but break into a tiny smile. he was such a kid.

“y/n, take that back” he whiningly utters. you walked to him, mockingly booping his nose “no”

but you couldn’t hold the smirk back, and cale knew you were just teasing, like always. even if you did hate going to costco, especially because of the impeccably large crowds and the fact that the promoted samples never seem to actually be ready to grab, cale loved it. and you know you always want cale to be happy.

—

the following day, you did not hesitate to grab the hoodie cale mentioned you could use from his closet. as you stand in the mirror, what’s accompanying the sweater and your puffer jacket, is a “heat tech” t-shirt, a thick long sleeve, some long johns below your fleece sweats and your long and fat scarf wrapped around your neck. you also quickly yanked cale’s favourite beanie from his drawer which was a compromise he was willing to make despite having to dig for another hat to wear.

cale couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of you struggling to put your thick boots on with your million layers. “i don't have to put them on, you know.” you taunted him. “no i’m sorry, i’m sorry. let me help you, here” he said, as he got on his knees to loosen the laces on each of the boots.

when he held one out for you, you snickered. “what? what happened?” he asked innocently, looking up at you. “i like it when you’re on your knees. specifically for me.” you say, running your hands through his hair and tugging just a bit. his reaction was predictable, his cheeks immediately turning flush as he cleared his throat and proceeded to tie your laces back together. you often take much enjoyment in getting him all flustered with your suggestive comments. he just looks really cute.

—

once you arrived at the outdoor rink, you found out it actually wasn’t as cold as you made it seem, but you weren’t going to let cale use that against you so you stayed with every layer you had put on. even if a part of you admits that you admire his cheeky smile whenever he knows he’s right.

before heading towards the ice, cale asks you if you want some hot chocolate first, as you noticed many other couples were heading to the little hut. you said you were fine, preferring the idea of smudging whip cream on his face after skating just in case he does end up dropping you.

sitting on the bench, cale helped you put on your skates before his. a few of his teammates were happy to see you. ej had a mischievous grin on his face as he greeted you. “just let me know when you wanna gang up on your boy.” he whispers in your ear, making you smirk and nod. ej was a gem, he always liked how you would affectionately bug cale. and he was always ready to help you.

“you better look like a stanley cup champion out there.” you tell cale as he grabs your hand. he laughed, “oh i will!”

gripping on his forearms, you finally step onto the ice trying to not immediately slip. cale starts skating backwards, as he lightly pulls you in to follow him, in which you do at a seemingly better rate than the first time he took you to a rink. continuing with the movements, and gaining more confidence on the ice, you mimicked some of cale’s skate tricks seeing where it would take you. you simper as you learned how to take a long stride and break on your own with a ‘t-stop’. and then again but with a ‘plow stop’. though, cale catching you before you could fall.

“see, you are having fun.” cale mentions as he smiles, turning to skate beside you again. “yeah yeah. whatever. i mean it’s more fun when you don’t fall.”

doing laps around the rink, you catch ej looking over at the two of you. so you tilt your head, signalling he could start to fool around. but before he could even make his way over to you or cale, your skate gets caught on a dent in the ice making you swing your arms, sending cale falling back.

he fell on his back, his head didn’t touch the ice — but you didn’t know that. “oww” he whines. you turn to him, softly chuckling at the sight of his sprawled out body. but then he closed his eyes, and held his hand to his head, groaning. “oh shit, cale!” you yelp, falling to your knees to look at him. “did you hit your head?? fuck i told you they should give out helmets here.”

“mm god my head is pounding.” he mumbles, trying to get up. “don’t get up, you could have a concussion. you should know that.” you tell him. he groans once again so you start to internally panic. you just pushed, and potentially injured, your boyfriend who has to go back and play in a couple of days. “shit. cale don’t die. fuck don’t die you have a game in four days and i can’t have your coach hating me for this.”

nate comes around, “hey cale, you okay?” he asks. cale doesn’t move, nor says a thing. you shake his arm, and nothing. “cale!!” you call out. he’s limp.

“oh god i killed him, nate. fuck i’m screwed. no cale wake up. please wake up. come on you rosy cheeked sunshine boy. fucking get uuuuup.” you whine at him, shaking his entire body as much as you can.

“BOO” cale yells, jolting up and grabbing you. you let out a tiny shriek, scrunching your shoulders and closing your eyes. he was in a fit of giggles. “CALE DOUGLAS MAKAR NEVER FUCKING DO THAT.” you cry out.

“i got youuuu” he mocks. you smack his shoulder, not as gently. he smiles, “it’s cute that you thought i died.”

“that’s not funny. i thought you smacked your head.”

“it’s kinda funny.”

“no it’s not.”

pulling him up, everyone else laughed at you two. ej truly surprised cale turned the tables on you. nate patted cale’s back before you started heading over to go get hot chocolate.

“two please.” cale orders before shaking off the snow on his pants. the lady hands you both your cups and you head over to the bench. “so you didn’t hit your head?” you asked cale quietly, looking at him with soft eyes. he smiled, “no, and you didn’t see so i took advantage.” you sneer at him.

as cale blew his hot chocolate, you scooped a bit of the whip cream and hid your hand. “hey, it’s pretty h-” cale began saying before you took a small sip and acted like you burned your tongue. you whimpered in pain, shutting your mouth. “hot it’s pretty hot. are you okay?” he asks, wrapping his arm around you to pull you closer.

that’s when you lifted your hand and smeared the whip cream all over his face, cale gasped. “y/n!!” he exclaimed, wiping off what fell on his eyes. you started laughing at him.

“how dare you. i didn’t even let you fall”

“it’s funny.”

he laughed, despite the way he was still cleaning his face. “it is funny.”

“glad you think so.”

he grabs your cup and moves it behind him with his own, “that’s enough for you.” you still had a smile on your face. he moves his finger and dabs a bit of whip cream from his face onto yours. so you grab his blushy cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. his lips were warm and soft and you couldn’t help but feel all lovesick inside. “i love you” you murmured. “i love you more, grumpy”

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[rotten1angel]

guys why are villains just SO MUCH HOTTER.

[butchdykekondraki]

this got long. um. heres my insane rant on how vivziepop completely misinterpreted adams character and why i fucking hate it so goddamn much. enjoy

adam has, in literally almost every single writing, been depicted as nothing but kind, caring, and loyal to his wife. the idea that he is anything BUT that is not only incorrect, but also fucking stupid. in the actual story itself, adam is so trusting of eve that he bites the fruit of knowledge because she tells him to, and he does it with almost no convincing (in some versions he even does it right away with NO convincing!!!!). the idea that adam is some type of fucked up frat boy stereotype goes against literally everything established about his character, and i can only assume it exists because vivziepop has decided that she needs to have him be a villain. and i can understand that!! i can understand rewriting stories to make characters more fucked up!! but the fact that she doesn't even make adam, like, an actual villain, and instead just makes him some type of misogynistic frat bro who's only goal is to actively make the lives of women miserable is just an entirely different character. viv didn't even make adam evil, she just made a fucking misogynist and slapped adams name onto it and tried to claim it was some rewrite. which, to be completely fair to viv, i can understand. i've seen plenty of rewrites in which adam is fucked up and/or evil, and they're all super interesting and take it from a different perspective of why eve bit the apple, but the fact that she doesn't even fucking change anything else about the original story just makes it so that she doesn't even seem to be rewriting the story itself. it just makes it feel like she wanted an excuse to make a ''all men evil and misogynistic ell oh ell please laugh'' joke. adam, in damn near every iteration of the story of adam and eve, almost worships eve, because she is (quite literally) made from him. he does not view her as below him, because in his eyes they come from the same body, and therefore she is no less than he is. but the fact that adam isn't even trying to be kind about eve in viv's version is just. wrong. like. it's not even trying to make some type of rewrite of ''ooo what if adam was actually MEAN and THATS why eve bit the apple ooo'' its just adam being a fucking cunt.

[princess-of-the-corner]

also for those newer because we were discussing DP stuff I wanna talk on shifts with Danielle which is

1.) She goes by 'Elle' instead of 'Dani' in my fics because as funny as the danny/dani thing is it'd drive everyone (more) insane in a week

2.) While in Canon, Dani is an imperfect clone in that she's two years younger and a girl, in my AU she's actually a perfect clone other than her instability. Because Danny is trans so a clone came out female so Elle is just what Danny would look like if he didn't do any transitioning. She's also the same age as him because idk what that age thing was about. .

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

In between all the posts, I just wanted to jump in and say I am beyond excited for JMs next release. I am anticipating few things. I know his next release is going to be much bigger and potentially more commerical. I think with Face, it's been clearly apparent that he is probably one of the most popular if not the most popular member of BTS internationally especially in terms of music so I am keen to see all his achievements. I have a feeling some releases might be collabs or at the very least English songs so I am keen to see how he tackles them. I feel that JK, RM, JM and possibly Suga have the best English pronunciation so I am keen as a bean. I am also liking the directions he is going with his magazine shoots so I am hoping we get to see more of his recent looks. I love JM but I am done with mullets and Boba cuts. Yes we all know you can be cute but we also know you are deadly sexy so I want to see.more of those deadly sexy charms which comes naturally to JM. I guess it's suffice to say I am beyond excited. I waited for all the members releases and have recognised that the rap line and JM are the only ones that I am excited about artistically, more so JM to be honest!!

His recent photoshoots have made me even more excited.

By the way, hope you are having a wonderful day/night. Not sure what the time difference is.

***

Hi Anon!

Yes to all of this but please allow me to use your ask as an excuse to post his Elle pics. Somehow it feels appropriate.

*

I like the energy he shows that goes from this:

*

...to this:

*

It's the "7" again... I love how much Jimin flaunts it.

*

If you want sexy, adult Jimin in PJM2, Anon, it's looking like you might get your wish.

*

My favourite thing about this pic is his chubby cute pinkie....

He's perfect.

*

Despite everything, I'm very curious about Golden, even excited. I've warmed up to Jungkook's game plan in Chapter 2 and just want to see him blow it all out of the water with his poppy pop songs. I know I'm not fond of David's Stewart's production on BTS's English tracks so I likely won't like the songs he's worked on, but I'm looking forward to the others.

For Joon and Jimin though, my body sometimes literally buzzes if I think about their next projects for too long. And no I'm not exaggerating. How is Jimin planning to end k-pop in 2024? I can't wait to see it. And Joon, his energy tells me how anxious he is to show off what he's made. Because that's one of my favourite things about him, you know? How arrogant he is about his music. Because he's certainly earned a right to be, and it makes me happy to see how he basks in how good the music he makes is. Sometimes I feel he's driven almost insane by his obsession with perfecting it, a little bit more so than for Hoseok or Yoongi.

Anyway, more music for us in Chapter 2! Thanks and I hope you're having a good day too, Anon.

[fatalitysficbakery]

hey bae, idrk how to request stuff its been a long time since i have !

but i was wondering if i could request an elle greenaway x reader where they supposedly ‘hate’ each other at work but theyre actually dating and they act like that to avoid suspicion and elle gets caught in a like shooter thing and then she gets back safely (based on that b99 episode w rosa)

or if thats too detailed idk,, just the last bit, ‘elle gets caught in a like shooter thing and then she gets back safely (based on that b99 episode w rosa’

idk if this makes sense i wqs daydreaming abt it in the car earlier and i am so sleep deprived rn idek if im making words right

so sorry for how long this is i love the elle fic u posted 07.10 !! im sleel now im fallimg aslepp

𓆰♡︎𓆪 What Goes On In The Dark. —

Elle Greenaway x Black Fem!Y/n

genre: angst/fluff.

warnings: hostage situation, mentions of violence, blood, and shot wounds. JJ is a profiler here. Liaison!Y/n, grief, mentions of suicide, gun violence, nothing too graphic.

synopsis: i’ll love you till the very end, amor.

a/n: i hope you enjoy my take on this request, lovely!

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery navigation menu 𓆪

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery criminal minds menu 𓆪.

↳ ❝Don’t let last words be ones to regret.❞⁣ -Unknown

⌫

Quantico, The Behavioral Analysis Unit was always my goal from the very start, I'd walked into the double doors of the place on my first day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, all the whilst every horror imaginable lay beneath.

There was a lot to dislike about the place, the bureaucracy the most damning flaw of all, It was a tangled mess that the agents had to deal with, to remember why you're there was to do your job well.

Elle Greenaway and I were alike in that way, we wanted to help the world be a safer place, I remember our first meeting, she'd welcomed me to hell. Her piercing brown eyes stared me down, scanning me as if she could see right through to my soul.

The blush that kissed my skin that day was embarrassing and exciting all at once. She'd find ways to talk to me, excuses to come to my office. The new liaison. I'd let the team know my doors were open at any point in time, and God did she ever abuse it. Suddenly pencils regularly disappeared from her desk. Could she use one of mine? Did I have a stapler? Hers was empty.

It was...flattering.

I couldn't lie, the agent had piqued my interest from the start. A smooth talker with a quick tongue. Clever. Amazing at her job. Just my type, you could consider me charmed from day one. She had me in the palm of her hand.

From there it was inevitable, I was hers.

Again, the ladder of the BAU was a tough one to work around, the night we finally hooked up, it was under the guise of me not having a ride home from work. My car was in the shop...The same one that was parked just in the garage parking lot, furthest space away from the other's eyes.

That night, staring into puddles of hazel brown, brunette locks tickling my skin; I knew I'd developed an addiction, and god was it a euphoric one.

↳

When we made it official, Elle gave me a locket, heart pendant with a picture of us in it. We'd agreed to keep it on the down low until we knew how to break it to Strauss and the rest.

That's when Operation: Become The Enemy started. Pretend to be absolutely revolted by one another at work, disappear into our own little world when alone.

It was a riot trying to pretend I hated the woman, hell, she drove me insane in all the best ways. She was my drug.

God, was she ever.

Being snapped back to reality tends to ruin all fantasies.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

The BAU was my dream. My goal from the start. I wanted to be here, I wanted to be here.

My chest felt tight, my every limb aching the moment Hotch cleared it. Allowed her to go inside. Why did it have to her? Why did she have to be the hero?

It's our job, I know. I repeated that to myself so many fucking times whilst watching her put on that damned bulletproof vest which did nothing to silence my worries. — Every other part of her became fair game.

My chest hurt, my breathing sped up. Everything blurred. Before long I was being escorted to my seat by a worried JJ, I couldn't even tell her the reason I was so upset. I felt myself drowning, sorrow encapsulated my entire being, paralyzing me with a fear I'd never felt in forever.

The fear of loss. Grief.

I couldn't believe it, the world was taking from me what happiness I had gotten back, and to make it all worse...

She'd probably thought I hated her.

POP. POP. POP.

"Was that a gunshot?! We're going in. NOW"!

It was at that moment, my sorrow melded into anger and determination. Hotch and Rossi, I could see a moment of doubt on their faces, but there was none in mine. I nodded at them, jaw set.

I could see relief wash over Aaron, I could hear Jennifer exhale.

I got geared up, muttering a quiet.

"We're going to get Elle".

⌫

12 hours ago.

I could feel her icy glare on me, but I couldn't look her way. I wouldn't. I was too prideful. Too stubborn. Too...hurt.

It all seems so stupid now in hindsight but then, then it felt so serious. End of the world serious.

She was still worried of exposing our relationship and what that would mean, fearful. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't wanna risk the chance of losing what we had, but I was tired. Too tired to look at it from a different perspective, to be rational. I wanted the world to know.

It'd been an almost full year of Elle and Y/n. Didn't that mean something to her?

Now that I think about it; It probably meant everything to her, and that's where her hesitance stemmed from. Maybe if I hadn't been so boneheaded...

↳

Elle walked into your office that day, two cups of coffee in hand and a to-go bag under her chin. It was early before most of the team had even arrived. She wanted to get there before it was time for another award-winning performance of pretending to hate the woman she loved the most.

The smile that greeted you was one of pure happiness, and it had only been met with a grimace of discomfort, and a problem waiting to be made. I mean, how dare she? Bring you coffee and scones while you prepped to present another harrowing case to the team with Garcia? How absolutely dare she?

When she saw the grimace on your face after sitting the coffee and scones down, her smile faded almost immediately. Knowing instantly what this would be about, the same conversation had been going on for a week and a half now that your one-year anniversary was quickly approaching.

"It's a little early, no? You usually don't come in so soon".

That was a lie, you both knew it but Elle also knew that was only the gateway to your next question. She sits before you, pulling up a chair.

"Y/n, pleas—"

"I don't wanna do it anymore, Elle. Can't we tell Strauss and them? Our anniversary is two weeks away, we've been going behind their backs for too long...I want them to know".

Elle sighs, you'd asked this so many times and the answer stayed the same. Her lips part to speak but it's stuck in her throat, it's dying there and in her silence you find disappointments. Your mouth fixes into a slight scowl.

"Well"?

Elle finally speaks, "You know why we can’t".

Her answer again left you dissatisfied, but this time instead of fighting it, you allow words you regret to slip through the cloud of emotions you were feeling. Before you know it, it's too late to take them back, Elle's face had already fallen, and your ego was too big to take it all back.

"Fine. Well, maybe we shouldn't even be doing this. I'm tired of being just two coworkers hooking up".

The words hang in the air, toxic and venomous. The fumes left a nasty stench. Elle notices you pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you often do when uncomfortable or nervous. Yet you speak not a word.

She stands, clearing her throat.

"Just two coworkers hooking up? That's what you think of our relationship? Wow".

And that, that was all she said. There was so much and nothing left to say, neither of you quite processed what had happened before she left your office on that sullen note.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

The case had gone from a simple familial kidnapping to not only the dad holding his daughter hostage but an entire library. My Elle had gone inside that place, her bravery had always inspired me, but today I couldn't help but have a strong disdain for it. The way she was immediately ready to go. It was her nature. It was MY nature. The entirety of the BAU would've done the same, and all I could think was why it had to be here.

When we got in, it was already too late. James had shot Elle in the thigh, and his daughter in the arm, before he'd turned the gun on himself.

I'd rushed to her side, the first one there whilst the rest tended to the others. She was already grey, lips pale and blue and eyes barely opened.

From that moment, leaving her side wasn't an option, the only time I did so was when she was rolled away for surgery. The hours spent with her gone was just me sobbing uncontrollably in Penelope's arms.

I was no longer able to pretend, and I was hoping, praying to whatever God I could that she'd make it out of that surgery alive to be mad at me about that.

I could hear her voice telling me to pull myself together, I was being too obvious. I could see her soft smile vividly in my mind winking at me right after that.

It was touch and go, touch and go.

Finally, the doctor came to talk to us.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

I put the finishing touches on it, my heartbeat so loud I could hear it pumping. God, I was so nervous. I'd never done something like this before, I never thought I could be doing something like this before.

I'd rejected the idea of commitment, shunned it. The thought of long-term relationships terrified me. Maybe, maybe that was why it was so difficult to convince me.

I'd convinced myself it was because I wasn't ready for the big boy's club to have the spotlight on my relationship, it was bad enough their eyes were watching my every move at work, but my personal life?

And yeah, that was the reason for about 6 months, but I knew in my soul of souls that I wanted her. Solely her. I didn't care about bureaucracy that much, hell, I was the reason there were eyes on me after the shooting they'd watched me like a hawk.

But no, that wasn't the reason. It was my safety net. My excuse to mull over my own grievances with love and relationships. I could see the sadness wash over her face every time I'd say 'not now', and it broke me each time.

I just...wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to admit to myself that I was worthy and deserving of love. That a relationship could be healthy/

I was constantly watching my back, waiting for it all to fall so I could prove myself right. When it didn't...When I almost lost her to my own foolishness, it was the biggest wake-up call of my life. — Waking up in that hospital bed, I remember it vividly. Looking to my right to see a sea of ginger curls strewn about my bed, her soft snores filled my ears. She sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair with her head lying on my bed, and it was clear she hadn't gotten any sleep in days.

Later, I was told I'd been in a coma for three weeks.

In those three weeks, she'd never left my side until she had to shower, eat, or change. Morgan told me he'd arrive only to see her doing work beside me and Hotch was more than gracious enough to allow her to be with me.

⌫

Her eyes opened, pained by the awful fluorescent lighting overhead, and as her eyes adjusted to the harsh lighting, she heard a familiar sound, those soft snores like music to her ears when she looked to her right and her suspicions were correct. You rest your head on your arms laid on the edge of her bed just next to her arm without the IV in it. You looked so peaceful, but she noticed how pale your usually cocoa skin looked.

She can't help but wonder how long you'd been there.

When she turns her head away from you, still scanning her surroundings, a soft British accent sounds out beside her rasp and sleep coating your vocals.

"Elle". You spoke so breathlessly as if you'd received the biggest surprise of your life. She took note of the way your eyes immediately welled up, apologies stumbling from your lips, "Baby, I'm so sorry I didn't mean—”

She'd shushed you, scooting over and patting a spot next to her. When you join her on the hospital bed that barely fits one let alone two, she kisses the top of your head, hand scratching and massaging through your soft ginger afro, she sighs and shakes her head, looking down at you.

"I know you didn't. Just sleep with me for right now, yeah"?

A tear slips from your eyes, you nuzzle gently into her side further, careful to not worsen any of her injuries.

"Yeah".

↳

I'd probably asked her to repeat what had almost happened to me a thousand times, something about hearing it was healing almost.

Though, she could make anything sound interesting with her voice like honeycomb. It was the one of the first things about her that’d caught my attention.

She knew how to make it real for me.

⌫

Elle lay in your arms, her head resting in your lap with your nails massaging her scalp. This wasn't the first time she'd asked you to retell the story, it was the fourth in a single week. You were happy to oblige, even if it hurt you to talk about seeing her almost die, You knew she needed this, and if it helped her in any way, you were glad to.

"The bullet hit a major artery. The doctor had come out to tell us of your death, I think my knees nearly buckled when I heard her starting to apologize".

She'd looked up at you, eyes and ears focusing solely on you like she hadn't heard the story a previous three times, she'd kissed the back of your hand gently when you had to stop for a moment to recollect yourself talking about how you'd thought you'd lost the love of your life.

Finally, you spoke again, eyes glossy.

"When she was about to call it, tell us her condolences, another of the surgical team ran out to tell her that there was a pulse, you could be saved. As soon as I heard the news, I did drop to my knees. I did. I thanked the stars that I'd get another chance to make it right, to tell you how much I loved you and regretted my words".

"You're doing so good, Beautiful", she'd whispered to you appreciatively, knowing how hard this was for you, It only made her love you that much more seeing the lengths you would go to to help her heal.

"It was touch and go for a few hours after that, you once again died on the table, three times. Finally, the doctor was about to give up until you got a steady pulse. They told us you fought like hell to get back to the team. But I couldn't help but think maybe..."

"It was. It was you, I don't remember much. I was talking to my father on the jet. Telling him all about the team, all about you. How I couldn't leave you just yet...Not on such a standstill".

Your breath caught in your throat at her words, you'd had your fair share of near-death experiences when working in SVU but you weren't sure you'd felt anything but coldness, a darkness. Elle had something to live for. She'd chosen to live for you.

"Y/n".

Your eyes shot to hers, she'd never really addressed you by your first name, only pet names she'd gifted you. So, when she'd said it, she'd gotten your full attention.

"Yea"?

"You were right...You were right, look, for a while" She sat up, moving to face you before continuing, "For a while it was about work, me wanting to continue lying. But, you were right. It wasn't just that".

Elle grabbed your hands in hers, her hazel eyes a vision of fall as she stared into yours, you knew the woman better than anyone, you could see this was hard for her; being vulnerable.

"I never thought of love as something that could be achieved in our field, not long term at least, and after about three failed relationships in, I stopped pursuing. I became terrified of commitment, and when you came along..."

"You got scared of the things you felt". You finished for her, sighing softly and pressing your forehead against hers, "Me too".

She nodded, "When I left your office thinking we were over, I realized my own cowardice. I knew I couldn't just lose you like that. I was gonna speak up and apologize. Talk it out. Anything. Until"

"Everything..." You whisper and cup her cheek in your hand, searching her eyes for that love, and when you see it. That same glint from first meeting, the side of your lips quirked up into a delicate smile, "I love you, Agent Greenaway".

"And I love you far more, Agent Y/ln".

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

I glance at the door anxiously, eyes shifting from that to the clock ticking slowly on the wall, and back. Putting this in the hands of someone other than my own was nerve-wracking, especially dealing with something this important.

Eventually, the door opens, and I'm almost allowed to breathe, but not yet. Not just yet. You're almost there Elle.

Entrusting this with Penelope Garcia of all people was the scariest part of all this, but she came through without spilling all, I admit. She smiles at me, giving a thumbs up. And I appreciate it, I do, but it's not any more comforting. Right now nothing could comfort me.

And then, I look to her.

(check image descs)

A vision of perfection stood before me, and as Garcia finally removed her blindfold, I could feel my face get hot, my heart pumping faster. She was stunning. We stare at each other in awe, I can feel my father whispering in my ear that I was making a good decision.

For so long I'd rejected the idea, and now it was something I was more sure of than anything else in my life.

"Come here, Mi Amor" I hear myself whisper, my voice caught in my throat as I prepared myself for the task ahead. She walks over to me with her hand still cupping her mouth in shock as she grasps what the box in my hand means.

When she's close enough, I get on one knee. The tears welling in my eyes a perfect match for the ones in her.

"You two argue like an old married couple". "They're still at it? Ugh, get a room".

(check image descs)

My voice shakes, I'd never proposed to anyone, let alone after only a year of dating.

"Y/n Y/ln, happy one-year anniversary. Where do I even start this? I know this is probably soon, but...If there's anything in this world I've ever been sure of, It'd be you. My hesitance with commitment almost lost me the most wonderful woman ever crafted. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of hiding...I want you. Forever. Will you do me the honor and marry m-"

Before I could get another word in, I felt her launch herself into my arms, her hold on me confirmed everything I already knew.

I couldn't let anyone else have her. She was too valuable to me. To this world.

"YES! Yes, I'd be so honoured to be your Mrs. Elle Greenaway"!

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

A/N: A bit of a trauma dump ahead, but I'm back after going through the death of my uncle only a week ago, having horrible PTSD and sickle cell kicking my ass. I hope this is to your liking, lovely! Sorry for the long wait ):