#envisioning that she is speaking to her actual audience. the love they have for her and the love she is trying to communicate to them

[atissi]

okay very preliminary thoughts on mitski's new album BUT i think there's something with how "laurel hell" felt like a goodbye to the music industry (can't find the source but i remember reading that it was intended to be her last album under her contract) like i'm sorry anthony fantano but if you interpret the back half of "laurel hell" as being generic breakup songs you're missing like 80% of the context. to me TO ME it feels so clearly about her negotiating her relationship with fame, how she can't love her fans the way they love her, and how she feels like she sold her soul to her job, so the only thing to do is step away. but THEN "the land is inhospitable and so are we" was created after mitski decided to renegotiate her contract, specifically because she loved making music enough to deal with the negative aspects of the work. and then all the songs are about the ghost of love she can leave behind, despite the present pain or emptiness, and like. do you see it. do you see it.

[circus4apsycho8]

Hi! Do you still take Lego ninjago requests? If so, can you do the ninjas + morro with a shy, gamer/streamer, or witchy significant other? I tried asking someone else, but I don’t think they do requests anymore. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to! It’s your page. You should upload whatever kind of content you want! ^^

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘! 𝚒 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘, 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢. 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢! 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚢𝚊'𝚜. 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 :) 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 & 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜.

𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚝! 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗.

𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚊 + 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘 𝚠/ 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛 & 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕕𝕖𝕤: 𝕜𝕒𝕚, 𝕛𝕒𝕪, 𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕖, 𝕫𝕒𝕟𝕖, 𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕪𝕕, 𝕟𝕪𝕒, & 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠 (𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕣)

𝚔𝚊𝚒

You and Kai follow each other on social media 

(you lowkey cyberbully each other) 

Still, he loves watching your streams! He has a hard time catching them live considering ninja life, but he’ll always watch stream highlights and such 

Games with you when you can and doesn’t mind being featured on the stream 

The fans love it when you two are on stream together 

They ship you so hard! 

You two are super competitive 

If he’s viewing your stream live, he’ll donate to you just to make some smartass comment that either makes you cuss him out (with love) or die laughing 

Finds your witchy things interesting, but is secretly fascinated by it 

Quietly listens to you babble about your interest 

He really likes seeing how passionate you are about it 

Burning you on a stake would 100% be an inside joke between you two 

𝚓𝚊𝚢

Adores your streams and always has them playing in the background while he works on his inventions 

Like Kai, he loves to game with you whenever he can 

He too likes being featured on stream and always has a blast playing with you 

Normally those streams are just chaotic but it’s great 

He doesn’t really know a whole lot about witchcraft, but he always watches what you do 

Asks you lots of questions. You sometimes have a hard time focusing, but you’ll do your best to satiate his curiosity

𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚎

You are his comfort streamer 

Whenever he’s stressed, nervous, or bored, you can bet he’s either tuning into your stream if you’re live or watching some of your stream highlights/youtube videos 

Hearing you speak, joke, and laugh just makes him feel better 

This amplifies like 12457878% percent if the two of you are separated 

You’ll be lying in bed/streaming/doing your thing when he texts you a screenshot of your stream with a bunch of sad emojis 

He likes secretly donating to your streams and watching your surprised but grateful expression as you thank his anonymous name 

Not really as keen on playing games on VC in front of a live audience, so he lets you handle all that. Is down to meet your online friends IRL though. 

I actually envision Cole as a very spiritual guy! He is super sensitive to crystal energy – some crystals soothe him while others have the opposite effect. 

He was 100% the kid that collected cool rocks (and still has them because, let’s face it, rocks are epic) 

He was super shy to admit that he gave the coolest rocks to his momma 

...and he got the box back when she passed. He keeps it in a box with some of her other belongings. 

You always just quietly hug him from behind when he looks through them, trying to remain strong for him when you hear him quietly start to cry 

Now he has a crystal collection that he shyly displayed to you 

You were so excited!! The two of you were so happy to know that you had something in common 

Meditating in the forest would so be a thing for you two 

Or even just cuddling or chatting in the forest, where both of you feel connected and secure with the earth 

Also I can lowkey envision y’all ghost hunting together <3 

𝚣𝚊𝚗𝚎

So sweet. 

Doesn’t quite understand the appeal of streams at first, but eventually gets into it 

He often will tune into streams while cooking or cleaning. He loves the sound of your voice. 

Not as into the gameplay but likes that you have fun with it. 

Doesn’t understand your witchy things, but he understands that it’s part of who you are. 

He gets slightly spooked when you guess a few personal things right about him (using things like runes, tarot cards maybe, stuff like that) 

He takes a while to reflect on it after that. 

After that, though, he listens to your reasoning behind your practice and develops more respect for it. 

A supportive bean who does not understand but says go for it 

𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍

HE GOT TO DATE HIS FAVE STREAMER!!!! :O 

Met you at a convention he was attending one time 

Fanboy mode = activated 

You thought he was just the cutest guy, immediately entranced by his eyes and sunshine of a personality 

Not to mention you were so flattered to hear that the Green Ninja adored your streams!! 

The two of you agree to keep in contact and eventually, he asks you out 

He loves hopping onto your games occasionally. 

It’s kind of healing for his inner kid, in a way? He gets to play with people who are passionate about the games and aren’t concerned with serious stuff. Like training 

He makes friends with your online friends 

In multiplayer games with voice chat, he always does something nice for the kids that play on there 

Donating online currency (think like Robux and stuff like that) to kids to hear their excitement is his favorite thing ever. He knows he would have loved to have something like that happen to him when he was young 

You admire how generous he is, always telling him how amazing of a person he is once the stream’s over 

He makes donations to you when he can <3 he wants to support your career as best he can 

The witchy stuff kind of scares him because he envisions stereotypical stuff 

But once he learns what it’s really about, he kind of gets into it? 

He likes getting in touch with his spiritual side. It’s a new type of guidance that he feels he’s been missing for a while

𝚗𝚢𝚊

She was a fan of you before the two of you met 

She always found you super inspirational. In a majority male streaming world, she admires you and always felt a connection to you because of this 

When the two of you met? She was so hyped!! Telling you how much of an inspiration you were, while you’re just there shocked like : My celebrity crush watches my streams o-o 

So you immediately tell her the same thing! 

Bam, you two are friends! 

That escalates after a little while, though! 

A few months after the two of you start dating, you begin an all-girls podcast that discusses the issues faced within Ninjago about female leads, and how to spark change 

And believe it or not...it actually works! 

More girls are inspired to pursue their passions because of you two 

Seeing the change you two made brings you so much closer <3 

Nya thinks your witchy stuff is kind of cool. The two of you enjoy exploring it further 

I think she would even adapt some of your habits herself. She finds a bit of clarity in herself after a brief period of frustration when she thought she wasn’t seeing immediate results, thinking she’d failed 

The reality is that, with your guidance, it did so much more for her than she could have imagined 

𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘 

Will never admit it, but he secretly loves listening to your streams. He doesn’t even care about the games, he just finds your voice soothing 

Tells you he doesn’t like them 

You just roll your eyes like “sure” 

(but you caught him watching them one time so you know he’s just being his dickhead self. You still love him though) 

Lowkey gets a little jealous of your online friends, though. Sometimes he has to stop watching the streams because a friend of yours will get a little flirty, or show a bit of platonic intimacy 

He’ll start to feel bad after he truly realizes how passionate you are about it 

Recognizes his dickiness and apologizes 

(still gets jealous) 

That’s when you tell him that you knew he watched your streams 

(he blushes!! >.<) 

Gradually begins opening up and showing more support throughout your relationship and chills with the jealousy 

He LOVES that you’re a witch 

Thinks it’s really cool. In fact, one late night when he’s feeling sleepy and more honest, he admits that he wants guidance in moving past his hatred of Lloyd so that he can reconnect with Wu 

You agree to help, and sure enough, he overcomes a few of his demons :) 

[filmmakingwithgg]

Documentary DOP Role

25/10:

I had my first meeting with Ivan and Jess about their documentary project and how I could help make their vision into a reality. Ivan showed me an outline of their idea and it revolved around the comparison between younger and older people and their ability to communicate using the Gaelic language.

As someone who isn't from Scotland, the topic initially scared me a bit, since I didn't know much about it, however I quickly realized I could use this as a way to better understand the culture of where I was living, so my fear turned to excitement rather quickly.

Their project started off being a lot about young people and they planned to go up to Aberdeenshire to Ivan's grandparents' farm to talk to his grandma and to the young people along Aberdeenshire about their experiences with the language. As someone who was hearing the project for the first time, it seemed like it was very ambitious for what was going to be such a quick minute and a half teaser. Therefore, me and Jess both suggested focusing the idea a bit more on Ivan's relationship with his grandmother and their shared longing for identity in Scotland.

Next I asked about the visual approach. Both Ivan and Jess were producing the film and Ivan was acting as the director, so I wanted to see what they were envisioning the documentary to look like. They confessed to me that neither of them had given much thought to the visual aspect of the film and they had been actually struggling to come up with the best way to do it. Upon hearing this, I gave them a few suggestions, using the indescribable scenery of the farm he had spoken about to help illustrate their stories through the a visual medium. I gave them a couple of examples such as the film Ratatouille as I thought we could use sceneries and actions to describe the words his grandma would speak in Gaelic, getting a feel for the language rather than an 100% accurate depiction. I compared these to the tasting scenes in Ratatouille. They seemed to enjoy this idea and we agreed to speak more in our next meeting.

2/11:

We met up again, this time online to discuss more details about the project. Over the weekend I had given them a short list of equipment I would like to bring up to the farm to use, however the camera I wanted to use was already booked out, so they told me we were going to have to use a Sony FS7. I was a bit concerned since I had never used this camera by myself before, but I decided I just needed extra preparation to be okay.

One of the struggles of the project was that there wouldn't be able to be a lot of equipment being carried by us, since we were going to go just the three of us on a four hour bus ride up the country. So after including just the bare necessities in my equipment list, with some Rotolights to be able to control the lighting during the night, I felt okay about the shoot.

We decided that we would shoot Ivan talking to his grandma while she's making us dinner (very lovely of her by the way) that way the conversation would feel a lot more casual and relaxed. I wanted to include a lot of camera movement as I was following them around the kitchen to make the audience feel like a member of their family, intrigued by what grandma would be cooking now.

With the second day we would then go for a hike to be able to capture all the beauty of the countryside.

11/10-12/10:

The day of the filming I felt a lot more confident based on my preparation. I had gone to a tutorial with Andrew to ask about the settings on the FS7 to make sure that I don't run into problems when setting it up. I also planned on playing with the settings to find the best ones, whilst in the bus ride, but I had to wait until we met up with Ivan's grandfather and we were in the car to be able to set up the camera. Nevertheless, I managed to set it up before we got there.

We met Ivan's grandparents, they were super lovely and we then started setting up for the day. We only had two days to shoot, so we had to be efficient with our time. We started filming Ivan's grandma talking to him while making a puzzle, before moving on to the dinner scene, however because the light was going down as time went in, I decided to set up the rotolights along the living room to attempt to create a warm atmosphere. We even used the fire flickering settings on one of them to replicate the warm fire that could've been coming out of their fireplace.

After getting the first interview footage, we moved on to getting some shots of their conversation as they're moving around, so we advised them to start cooking dinner. I was trying to look out for important things to capture in their relationship as they were cooking together while also listening to their conversation at the same time, which I would need to use to help me capture the footage the following day, so that was the most challenging part of the project for me. However, I think I managed to capture their relationship nicely and we then included a bit more footage on a tripod of both of Ivan's grandparents talking to him more about identity. After that we spent the rest of the night talking to Ivan's family and it was a great time.

The following day I woke up early as we wanted to capture some of the early morning scenery. After waiting for everyone to be ready we left and I started trying to keep in mind what the conversation between Ivan and his grandma had left in me. I wanted to be able to capture the interest they both shared to finding themselves, so when looking at the beautiful scenery I looked to capture Ivan in beautiful and distant frames to illustrate this. I also wanted to capture some of what made the north of Scotland so iconic, so I captured some animals like the Highland Cows as well.

After all of this, it was an amazing experience being part of this project and having the opportunity to explore a part of Scotland I had never seen before.

[septembercfawkes]

Sanderson’s Character Scales

Hey everyone, today I'm here to share a perspective on characters that comes from #1 New York Times best-selling author Brandon Sanderson. I love learning from Sanderson because he's prolific, experienced, and successful (Wheel of Time, Mistborn, The Way of Kings . . .). I also love learning from him because he shares concepts and techniques that I have found nowhere else. Lately, one of his concepts has been revisiting my mind--his character scales.

So in this post, I'm going to explain what they are and how they work, while sharing my own ideas and interpretations along the way. Let's dig in!

Brandon Sanderson's Character Scales

When it comes to characters, Sanderson envisions that each one has three "scales" or "dials." Basically, these are three different components that make a character interesting to the audience. They are . . .

1. Likeability--how much the audience likes, empathizes with, or relates to the character

2. Competence--how skilled the character is (this often appeals to the audience through wish-fulfillment)

3. Proactivity--how motivated and proactive the character is (when the character has a significant goal and is taking action to reach it, the audience becomes invested in their journey)

These aren't either/or attributes, but spectrums.

For example, we could say that each category can be measured from 1 - 10, one meaning the character scores very low in that category and ten meaning he or she scores very high in that category.

In BBC's Sherlock, Sherlock scores high in competence and proactivity--he loves solving cases and he's very good at it. In those categories, he may be an eight or nine. But when it comes to likeability, he scores lower--he's a sociopath who can be a real jerk to people. In that category, he may be a three or four.

In contrast, Katniss from The Hunger Games is quite likeable (she volunteers herself) and competent (have you seen her shoot arrows?), but in regards to the real antagonist, she's rather passive. She doesn't really believe Panem can change. And for most of the series, she's actually not very interested in defeating the government. However, by the end of the series, this is her primary goal. She grows in proactivity.

It's possible to have a protagonist score low in two of the three. Harry Potter is likeable, but he's not very competent or proactive when it comes to dealing with his problems. Through his journey at Hogwarts, he becomes more competent and more proactive.

Before we continue, there are a few points I need to make.

- The likeability scale is based on how the audience feels about the character, not necessarily how other characters feel about the character. You may have a character that no one seems to like (such as Harry), but the audience still likes, so he may score high there. Likeability typically relates to how the character treats others (petting the dog), is treated (usually unfairly), or how similar he is to the audience (relatability).

- Competence can be measured a few different ways. It might be something like learning magic or shooting a bow, but it may also be something more subtle, like being a skilled negotiator or a born leader or having a silver tongue. A character may be competent in more than one thing, of course, but often this category relates to skills used in the plot. For example, if Katniss is really great at card games, that's not really related to competing in the Hunger Games, so she might as well not be great at card games--it doesn't matter, because it's not pertinent.

- "Proactivity" is always a term I hesitate using in the writing world because it actually means slightly different things depending on how you apply it. Structurally speaking, a protagonist must be proactive to have a great story. The protagonist has to do things to make plot happen. The protagonist has to do things to make story structure work. But characteristically speaking, a protagonist can be innately passive--meaning he or she has no real desire to move forward in the story, but is forced to because of the stakes. For example, Shrek really has no desire to save a princess, but if he doesn't rescue a princess, then he'll lose his swamp (stakes). He doesn't care about Fiona, he just wants to not lose something. This is what Sanderson's proactivity category is about--character not structure. To learn more about characteristically passive protagonists, check out "Getting Passive Protagonists to Act."

The character scales are not restricted to protagonists. They can be applied to any character to get a better understanding of him or her. For example, John Watson scores high on being likeable--he's probably the most relatable character in Sherlock. But he's lower in proactivity (sometimes he wants to have a normal life) and competence than Sherlock (which is why he works well as Sherlock's Influence Character).

In The Hunger Games, Peeta is decently high in likeability and proactivity (early on he says he doesn't want to be a piece in the Games, he wants to show the Capitol they can't control him), but he's not particularly competent within the context of the plot (the Games). (However, one may argue that his likeability helps him in that he's more likely to get sponsors.)

Let's round out our examples, shall we? In Harry Potter, Hermione starts off as rather competent and proactive--she's doing everything she can to learn magic. But as a bossy know-it-all, she's not very likeable. By the end, she becomes more likeable.

Most characters will start with one or two categories high and one or two categories low.

For example, in the Farm Boy trope, the character is usually low in (pertinent) competence, higher in likeability, and maybe in the middle (a five) for proactivity (generally speaking).

Villains will often be low in likeability, high in competence, and high in proactivity (generally speaking).

Positive steadfast protagonists are often high in likeability (unless the author is making it too easy to be good, in which case, they get annoying) and usually lower in proactivity (the reluctant hero, if you will). Often they are fairly competent (generally speaking).

With that said, it's not impossible to have a character start with all high (like perhaps classic Superman) or all low, but the more focal that character, the more difficult that character will probably be to write, in a satisfying way. It can be done--for example, Leia in the original Star Wars scores rather high in all three categories--but it can be challenging. (I've heard plenty of people and writers complain about how difficult it is to write an excellent Superman movie.)

It's also possible to write characters who are about average in everything--but still, usually not as interesting.

If you start looking around at characters, you'll almost always find them to be high in one or two and low in one or two.

So, what is the point of all this? Well, a few actually.

One, with these scales, you can get an idea of how interested the audience will be in the character. If your protagonist is a jerk, and you are worried about it, you can bump up the other two to help compensate, a la Sherlock. You can also make sure to emphasize the other two more than the low likeability. You can check to make sure you aren't trying to write a "Super" man--unless, of course, that's the point. And you can make sure you aren't trying to write someone who isn't that interesting--someone who scores low in all three.

Two, using these scales to measure your characters can give you a sense of how your cast functions. Sherlock and John pair well together because they are opposites in likeability. They are also sometimes opposites in proactivity. Same goes for Katniss and Peeta, and Harry and Hermione.

However, this is not to say you can't have characters together who are close to the same--like Harry and Ron. But when that happens, often, the two are more likely to function as a unit. Harry and Ron are both learning to be more competent and proactive together (and thanks to the help of Hermione).

You can also find interesting combinations, like pitting a very competent and proactive antagonist against a passive, incompetent protagonist. Or what about a likeable antagonist and unlikeable protagonist?

It's just another way to gauge and measure. In one of my WIPs, each of my trio members is low in a different category, and I feel like that brings a sense of balance to my cast.

Three, the scales can give you an idea of how a character may grow or regress through the story. By the end of Sherlock, Sherlock becomes more likeable. By the end of Harry Potter, Harry becomes more competent and proactive. By the end of Hunger Games, Katniss becomes more proactive.

It's also possible to slide down. Anakin becomes less likeable (and yet, more competent) as he becomes Darth Vader.

And you can slide a character one way through the middle and back by the end. In Sam Raimi's Spider-man 2. Peter Parker slides down in competence through the middle, as he loses his powers, but regains them by the end.

In a sense, you may say that moving a character through these categories is a sort of character arc. After all, technically, a character arc just means that a character grows or changes (or . . . maybe doesn't). But I wouldn't say this is the same as The Character Arc--which is thematic. The Character Arc is about worldviews and value systems. It's about Harry learning love is the most powerful force. It's not about Harry learning to do magic or sticking up for himself. Those may be "character arcs" but they aren't The Character Arc (if you get me)--that's how I look at it.

However, these scale "character arcs" may play into The Character Arc. Sherlock's Character Arc is about valuing emotion and social relationships, which feeds into the theme of the whole series. So surely, growing in likeability--starting as a jerk and ending as a caring friend--connects into that.

In short, while moving along these scales may be thematic, it's not necessarily directly thematic. It may be part of The Character Arc, but it isn't exactly the same thing.

I believe these scales can be particularly useful for steadfast characters, as it gives them more motion, without compromising their steadfastness. This helps keep them from feeling stagnant.

For example, in a show I recently watched, the positive steadfast protagonist holds the correct worldview in the beginning, is tested to his breaking point in the middle, and proves his belief true at the end.

However, in the process, he must move from being passive to proactive. He doesn't really want to deal with the antagonist--he is only dragged into the story by high stakes. In the second half of the middle, he struggles with trying to be proactive. At the end, he completes a "character arc" by initiating the final confrontation with the antagonist.

In this sense, a character may have multiple character arcs. And heck, if you have more than one theme in the story, he or she may have multiple thematic arcs--which we'll talk about on a future day.

For now, I hope you find Sanderson's scales useful to you.

You can hear Sanderson talk about the scales himself, in his Youtube lecture on characters.

[gubler-me-up]

Exposed (MGG Request)

Request(s): I got a mgg request! Maybe one where reader and matthew are both part of the cm cast and and while on an interview they’re like asking him about her and he’s like ♥️👄♥. And everyone’s like aww. That made sense?

OMG WAIT ANOTHER MGG REQUEST POPPED IN MY HEAD! How about Mgg and reader reading thirst tweets and they are joking around but matthew kinda starts getting jealous 

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon!! Originally I was going to do these two requests separate but every time I thought of these requests I thought of those YouTube videos where celebs read thirsty tweets so I decided to make it a talk show setting to incorporate the best of both worlds, no hannah montana (that was so lame pls excuse that) hope you enjoy! 

Couple: MGG/Fem!reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: Thirsty af tweets but that’s about it

Word count: 2.5k

————-

“I don’t interview well,” you said to your makeup artist.

“Just envision the audience naked,” she giggled as she applied your mascara.

“That old trick never works,” you said.

“Okay, how about you pretend you’re on the set of Criminal Minds except it’s a live take in front of a studio audience?” she said.

You placed your hand on your cheek as you put on an over-exaggerated thinking face. She laughed as she finished applying your mascara. You looked at her with a scrunched up nose as you shook your head.

“I don’t know if I can, Sheena,” you said.

“Well, with Matthew by your side during this interview maybe you can,” she said.

“I’d probably choke even harder. I don’t even know what I was thinking when I agreed to be a surprise guest,” you said.

“You were probably thinking how fine Matthew would look in a suit,” she said.

“I get the privilege of seeing him in a suit every day on set,” you giggled.

She laughed along with you. Your giggle-fest was interrupted with the sound of Jimmy Fallon speaking. You both turned your attention to the small tv screen in your dressing room. You grabbed the remote to turn the volume up a little louder to hear what he was saying.

You watched as he gave a little introduction to his guest. Calling him a fan favourite of Criminal Minds and the dorky genius everyone is swooning over. You giggled as you knew Matthew hated so much admiration centred around him but you had a feeling Jimmy knew so as well. He kept on continuously complimenting him before he finally introduced him.

“Please give a warm welcome to your favourite FBI agent and mine, Matthew Gray Gubler,” he announced.

Matthew appeared from the side all smiles as he waved to the audience. He looked a little pink in the face. Probably from all the overflowing compliments Jimmy had given him. Jimmy had every right to gush over him. He looked fine as ever. He was wearing a midnight blue suit with his iconic black converse on. His hair was freshly cut short but his untamed curls didn’t seem to care as they swirled around his head. He had a new thing for rings too, specifically pink rings which only added an extra bit of spice to him.

“You know, I actually don’t think I’m the fan favourite anymore,” he told Jimmy.

Jimmy gave him an over-exaggerated shocked expression. He looked out into the audience before standing up and raising his arms up and down to encourage them to cheer.

“Make some noise if Dr. Spencer Reid is your favourite character,” he said.

Most of the crowd cheered as loud as they could. Matthew awkwardly smiled as he covered his face to hide the fact he was turning a deeper shade of red. Jimmy sat back down and laughed as he pointed out into the audience.

“The audience never lies,” he said.

“You’re right, you’re right, but I personally think we have a great cast filled with amazing actors,” he chuckled.

“Okay, okay, I’ll hear you out. Who’s your favourite character on the show?” Jimmy asked.

“I love Y/N Y/L/N character Andrea Pike. She’s such a fascinating character on the show,” he said.

You couldn’t help crack a smile at the way his voice brightened up when he mentioned your name. He looked overly excited to discuss your character. You felt Sheena nudge you with her elbow. You looked at her to see her smirking at you.

“I think someone has a little crush on you,” she sang.

You smiled as you felt your face heat up. You turned away from her to look back at the tv screen. You knew she would inquire about your feelings for him if she saw the way you looked. You weren’t quite ready to expose how you felt towards him yet.

“Y/N Y/L/N is such a great actress and I was excited when I found out she joined the Criminal Minds cast,” Jimmy said.

“Yeah, it’s great having her on. She’s so much fun to be around and she always lightens the mood,” Matthew said.

“I’d love to have her on the show one day. Do you think she’d ever come on the show?” Jimmy asked.

“Oh, for sure. You’d love her on your show, she’s so funny and entertaining. That’s what I love most about working with her,” he said.

Slight ‘awe’s’ came from the audience which made Matthew and Jimmy burst out laughing. Matthew looked towards the audience with a sheepish look on his face as he tried to reduce his bright grin. He didn’t have the chance to regain his composure as the band started playing a rendition of ‘Lady in Red.’

He placed both of his hands on his face as he leaned back in his chair trying to hide his embarrassment. Jimmy, of course, was having a blast watching Matthew squirm. Matthew slid his hands down from his face to show his flustered expression to the audience.

“Okay, okay, we’ll give you a break. Anyway, other than Y/N, what else is your favourite thing about working with the Criminal Minds crew?” Jimmy asked.

You watched as they talked about the show. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Matthew as he laughed and talked. His smile could brighten any room and his soft eyes could just melt you into a puddle. You watched the whole thing up until the commercial break. When it went to commercial you didn’t even realize you were still spaced out looking at the screen until Sheena nudged you.

“Girl, it’s your time to position yourself,” Sheena said.

“Oh, right,” you said as you jumped out of your chair.

“Lost in Gublerland huh?” She giggled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said as you walked towards the door.

You took one step out of the makeup room door before you froze. You turned around to look back at Sheena with an awkward smile. She immediately knew what you were about to ask and giggled.

“Stage right, hun,” she said.

You smiled. “Thank you.”

By the time you reached stage right, the show had come back from a commercial break. You stood there as you watched Jimmy explain to Matthew and the audience the activity he had planned for them. It was called “Need Some Water?” The concept was Matthew and you would read thirst tweets and whenever you thought the tweet was overly thirsty you take a sip of water.

Matthew had no idea he was going to be playing with you though. Jimmy handed him a deck of tweets he had printed and had a separate deck in his hand. He handed him a water bottle. He could barely contain his smile as he saw you standing, waiting for your cue to go on stage.

“We’ve actually gotten another guest to participate in “Need Some Water?” Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Y/N Y/L/N,” Jimmy announced.

Matthew’s head shot over to you as you walked out, waving to the audience with a big smile on. You looked at him and his face was nearly on the floor. He immediately stood up with his arms outstretched for you to come into. It was a magnetic connection instantly as you walked over to him and embraced him in a hug. You knew you shouldn’t hold him too long or else people would talk but the warmth of his arms and the scent of his cologne had you enraptured.

He let go of you slowly but without looking you in the eyes to give you a quick smile. You instantly smiled back. He directed you to your seat with a gesture of his hand and you followed the direction it was pointing at. You both sat down with goofy smiles splattered on your faces.

“Thanks for joining us, Y/N,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks for having me. I’m very excited to read what people say about me,” you said.

He chuckled as he handed you a bottle of water and the deck of tweets. Matthew took them from him to hand to you. He was such a gentleman. You took them from his hands and couldn’t help to feel butterflies fluttering inside your gut.

“You might find a few tweets from Matthew in your deck,” he joked.

“He might find a few of mine in his deck actually,” you joked.

You heard everyone in the audience go “ooo” and knew you sparked something again. You laughed as you looked at Matthew who looked down at his deck, shaking his head trying not to laugh. He wasn’t doing a good job of hiding it. Jimmy was having the time of his life cackling at your joke.

“Okay, okay, let’s start. Matthew, go,” Jimmy said.

Matthew turned over the first card and immediately opened his bottle of water. He took a long sip of his water so you knew it was a ridiculously thirsty tweet. Everyone laughed as he finished drinking his water before he even started to read the tweet.

“I would let Matthew Gray Gubler break my back in bed like a glow stick,” he read trying his best not to laugh too much.

You and everyone else freely laughed at the tweet. You excitedly turned over your deck to read your tweet. You covered your mouth trying to conceal your laugh.

“Y/N Y/L/N could just stare at me for a second too long and I would get pregnant,” you read.

“I think valid points were made. I’m currently pregnant with Y/N’s baby as well,” Matthew joked.

“Ugh, I hope it’s an Aries baby,” you joked.

“I dibs on being the Godfather,” Jimmy said.

Everyone laughed before Matthew went back to looking at the tweets in his deck. He chuckled to himself as he read it in his head. He looked up at the audience before bursting out laughing.

“If Matthew Gray Gubler took me out on a date and told me to pay for the bill, I would simply run my bank card deeper into the negatives for that man,” he read.

You laughed. “That’s a true fan.”

You looked at your deck and giggled. You opened up your water and took a long sip because the tweet was extremely thirsty. You saw out of the corner of your eye Matthew was watching you sip your water but he tried to gaze at the tweet in your hand. You didn’t leave him hanging for too long. You cleared your throat before reading it.

“If Y/N Y/L/N ever put an ad on craigslist asking if anyone had a dog up for sale, I’d tell her yes and meet her at her doorstep on all fours ruffing,” you read.

Matthew covered his mouth trying not to laugh too hard. Everyone else in the audience and Jimmy freely laughed. You felt your face get hot from all the laughing you were doing but also the fact you had serious admirers out there.

Matthew cleared his throat before reading his. “Maybe if I pretend to be a bird outside Matthew Gray Gubler’s window long enough he’ll open his window to let me in.”

You laughed. “These pretending to be animal tweets are too wild.”

“Do you have more like that?” Matthew asked.

You looked down at your pile. “No, this one’s actually kinda cute. If I knew Y/N Y/L/N I would love her forever and never let her go. Duh.”

Everyone in the audience ‘awed’ but you noticed Matthew was quite silent at your tweet. You looked at him and noticed he seemed a bit bothered by the tweet. He smiled politely but he wasn’t as energetic as he was before.

“Read yours,” you encouraged.

“Matthew Gray Gubler, please for the love of God, leak your nudes already,” he chuckled.

He took a long sip of his water. You giggled as you looked at your next tweet. You laughed loudly as you read it. Matthew turned to you in curiosity as to what made you so giddy.

“If someone doesn’t kiss Y/N Y/L/N already, I will. I will gladly volunteer and do it forever,” you said.

Everyone had a mix of ‘awe’s’ and laughs except for Matthew who was kind of stoned face. He still smiled politely for the camera but you knew something was wrong. You took a sip of your water as you tried to figure out what expression he was giving off. Was it possibly jealousy?

“That’ll be it for “Need Some Water?” Give a big round of applause to Matthew Gray Gubler and Y/N Y/L/N for coming on the show,” Jimmy said as he stood up to clap for you two.

You both waved at the audience with big grins before getting up to say your goodbye’s to Jimmy. He gave you both big hugs and started to ramble on about how much he appreciated you taking the time to come on the show. He also gushed about being a big fan of Criminal Minds which was always touching to hear.

Once the two of you finally exited the show stage, you grabbed and held onto Matthew’s arm as you two walked. He looked at you with a small smile with quizzical eyebrows trying to figure out what you were doing. You narrowed your eyes at him to look through his nonchalant expression.

“Is someone jealous?” You asked.

“Me? Jealous of tweets? No,” he said as he shook his head.

“I know I’m not a real profiler, but I know jealousy from a mile away,” you said.

“Is that so?” He asked.

You nodded your head. “Of course. You don’t have to be jealous of fans though.”

“I’m jealous they have more guts to tell you they want to be with you more than I do,” he said.

You stopped dead in your tracks. He stopped as well to turn back and look at your floored face. You think that was the closest Matthew had ever been to saying how he truly felt about you.

“You want to be with me? Like for real, for real?” You asked.

He chuckled as he awkwardly looked down at his shoes. He soon looked back up at you with a smile as he nodded his head.

“Yeah,” he softly said.

You pulled his arm towards you and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. He looked at you with a soft smile before leaning in to you and you received the message. You pecked each other on the lips quickly before parting as if nothing happened.

“You don’t have to be jealous of thirst tweets. I’d rather the real thing,” you said.

He chuckled. “How about I take you on a real date? Next Saturday sound good to you?”

You smiled wide. “Any day with you would be good to me.”

He smiled. “Great. I’ll text you tonight. See you soon, Y/N.”

“You too.”

You waved goodbye to each other. You stood there as you watched him walk away. To think a talk show would actually make him confess his feelings for you. Maybe you should have agreed to do talk shows with him way earlier if that would have been the result. You weren’t mad about it though because you finally got to be with the man you’ve been thirsting over for months.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512

MASTERLIST

[my-least-favorite-savior]

“My ambitions and the path laid before me are not always congruent, Bren.” -Astrid Beck, c2e110.

Let’s talk about Astrid and Eadwulf, what they were doing in Nicodranas, and why I have a theory that they are in immediate danger and neither they nor Caleb have realized it yet.

There have been implications sprinkled throughout their episodes that Astrid and Eadwulf have been slowly getting things in place to eliminate Ikithon since before Caleb/Bren was even officially back in the picture.

First, I want to draw attention to the fact that Astrid did not seem to expect Caleb/Bren to return. She expressed surprise that Caleb/Bren has recovered as fully as he has; that seems to have been beyond what she hoped for while he was in the sanitarium. Whatever plans she was making prior to receiving that letter, she was making them under the assumption that Bren was gone for good.

She says something in that meeting that makes Caleb assume she is planning to take Trent’s seat. If I had to guess, the comment that tipped him off to that was “I understand your anger. And as much as he’s been our teacher, he’s not infallible. He’s just an old man, with the right connections, who will one day pass, like they all do.”

Now, these are very carefully chosen words. Astrid is not the sort of person who is going to come right out and admit to plotting against her mentor. But Caleb heard something more in them...

In c2e110, Caleb asks Astrid and Eadwulf if they support “mangl[ing] more children to feed the fields of Wynandir.” He is speaking directly to Wulf when he asks his question. He is looking at Wulf when he asks this question.

Wulf says nothing and looks to Astrid to answer for them both. I find that extremely revealing about the power dynamic between them, and it’s an indication that Wulf is already envisioning a future where he’d be following Astrid’s lead on these things.

Astrid’s initial response is that if Caleb were to supplant Trent, they would, of course, follow Caleb’s lead. This is a safe answer. Ikithon expects Caleb to plot to kill him. He may even want that.

But Caleb pushes, and says that when he last spoke to Astrid, she seemed to be preparing to take over Trent’s seat on the Assembly. Astrid gives several indications that he needs to Stop Talking About That, which imo is as good as a confession. If you don’t agree, her actual confession is in bold above.

Trent laughs it off, there at the dinner table, and basically says that he assumes that everyone close to him is plotting to kill him. The implication is supposed to be that Astrid is off the hook.

But come on, people. Come on. Astrid was never off the hook. If Trent wasn’t [uniquely] suspicious of her before that, he certainly was afterwards. It should have been extremely obvious to Trent as of c2e110 that Astrid was plotting against him. Based on what Caleb said about Astrid reminding Trent of himself, I doubt this realization surprised him.

“I struggle with trust and I want very much to trust you. I think we both know that’s not entirely possible.” -Caleb Widogast, c2e126.

When Caleb meets Astrid at the dance hall, he immediately asks her if everything has been okay since he left. Her response is “They’ve been interesting,” which I’m pretty sure means “Bad,” in coded spy language. I bring that up because I think it helps account for her crying after she left the dance hall. She didn’t go back to her house on Ikithon’s estate to cry, even though my general experience is that most people would prefer to cry in their own homes rather than in public; she headed down a random alleyway and collapsed just long enough to pull herself back together. It wasn’t just Bren she was hiding those tears from. Obviously, she was hiding them from one group to avoid arousing suspicion and from the other group to save face. But there were two groups she was hiding from.

Let’s assume positive intent from Astrid. Astrid had nothing to gain from leading the Nein into a trap. She’s made it clear that she sees Caleb as a competitor, but right now, Caleb is more of an ally than a threat to her, even before we touch on her personal feelings for Bren. The only circumstance where it makes sense for Astrid to be knowingly leading the Nein into a trap is if Trent was behind it, and Astrid was simply the bait.

That doesn’t make sense. How could Trent possibly have known that the Nein were going to end up in the situation they ended up in with Lucien and reach out to Astrid for help? Trent could not possibly have planned this plan, because it depends on things that are completely out of Trent’s control and that Trent could not possibly have known about. Trent cannot be involved at this stage, therefore it is just Astrid. Astrid has nothing to gain from handing Caleb over to Trent. (She does have a great deal to gain from Caleb killing Trent, though, which would explain why she encouraged him to do so.)

So Astrid gets them the maps and the location of the amulets in good faith. She tells them Trent won’t be there in good faith. Maybe Trent showing up is a coincidence, or maybe Trent was already watching Astrid very closely and he knew something was up.

Maybe it wasn’t such a surprise to see Bren standing there. Maybe he chuckles about the tragic love story these two must think they live in.

Trent is in an interesting position, now. He knows what Astrid has done, but Astrid doesn’t know he knows. Astrid might be his most promising lead on Bren. Why show his hand now just because Astrid and Bren have shown theirs?

Trent is concerned too, about Eadwulf. How could he not be? If 2/3 are plotting against you, you put the third through at least a basic loyalty test. Like sending him to hunt his old friend.

Astrid has to go too, of course. This is Trent’s plot, and this time, Astrid is the bait.

It’s not Caleb, but Eadwulf, who takes the bait, hook and all. Eadwulf fails his loyalty test. Astrid failed hers before they left. They run to warn Bren. Astrid admits to her involvement in the Vergessen break-in right in front of Eadwulf. It should be very clear to the audience whose side Eadwulf is on, at this point. (It isn’t Trent’s.) It is almost certainly clear to Trent as well.

It doesn’t make sense for Trent to have sent them to the Chateau. Trent gained nothing from that. If their orders were to get Bren to talk, they would not have left without speaking directly to Bren. If their orders were to capture or kill the Nein, they could easily have picked them off one-by-one, rather than… speaking to them calmly and leaving without doing that. Telling the Nein that the Vollstruckers are there and that the Nein and their families should leave immediately is also an interesting move if they were there on Trent’s orders. Giving up the element of surprise and inviting your prey to escape is... an odd choice, unless you actually want them to escape. So is allowing them to escape.

Now, let’s talk about Trent showing up.

One of two things happened: Either Astrid and Eadwulf lied to the Nein, or Trent lied to Astrid and Eadwulf. It does not make sense for Astrid and Eadwulf to have lied. Neither they nor Trent had anything to gain from them telling that lie to Bren. They had already given up the element of surprise.

So Trent lied to Astrid and Eadwulf. Which brings us back to my theory that this was a loyalty test, which Eadwulf failed and Astrid pre-failed.

Why bring them to Yussa’s tower? Because the alternative was to call them out then and there, which would guarantee that at least one of them got away. He couldn’t possibly go after Bren and contain Astrid and Eadwulf at the same time. It was much easier to chase the one who was running and let the other two follow along willingly, for now. If Bren got away, well, there were ways of luring him back, especially while he still had Astrid and Eadwulf.

Astrid and Eadwulf don’t want to fight Trent right now. There are too many pieces that aren’t where Astrid would like them. They can’t out-right attack Trent, either. Even in their world, that’s a felony. I think in all the talk of assassinating an Archmage of the Cerberus Assembly, we’ve forgotten that you can’t just assassinate an Archmage of the Cerberus Assembly. It is both extremely difficult and you are not allowed. You can’t just--

I think Astrid and Eadwulf are in more danger than they realize.

Disclaimer: Analysis of an evolving story is always a difficult thing, because one is necessarily looking at an incomplete puzzle. This is a THEORY, and it is possible that, as often happens to theories, new evidence will arise later and disprove it.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

 Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.  

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina. 

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale. 

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real. 

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life. 

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought  it up once this season. 

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst. 

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off. 

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb. 

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1. 

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series. 

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes. 

Until next season Wildcats

[raineeskiesabove]

A Dove’s Song | Venti x Lumine Oneshot

.

“Paimon doesn’t understand why you care so much about that tone-dear bard! He’s quite bothersome if you ask Paimon,” she whined, closely following Lumine.

“He’s a good person, Paimon. You two may butt heads, but you’re both very important to me. As his friend, it’s my duty to be there for him,” Lumine responded.

She gently patted Paimon’s head to express her affection for the tiny familiar. “Well, his elemental trail leads... here,” she said, frowning to see that it was indeed Angel’s Share. She just hoped that he wasn’t wasted. Again.

Opening the door slowly, Lumine was immediately taken aback by the roar of the crowd inside, all gathered around a table. On top of it stood Venti, with a dazed look in his eyes and a bright smile on his face. Despite the rosy color of his cheeks indicating his intoxication, he was still singing and playing the lyre. Albeit, his slurs and odd movements on the instrument were beginning to create more of a comedy act than respectable entertainment.

“Another song I shall play, if a drink someone will pay!” he announced, taking a large swig from a glass offered by an audience member.

“Gods, he’s going to topple over...” Lumine pushed to the center of the crowd, her eyes now at level with Venti’s loafers.

“Ah! Lumi! You’re just in time for another solo!”

She sighed. “Venti, how many drinks have you had tonight?”

“It seems that I have lost count. But I am indeed trying to achieve a new personal record!” He beamed at her, clearly proud of himself about the idea.

Lumine pinched the bridge of her nose, growing annoyed with his silly antics. The last time he attempted to “break a record”, she found him the next day in some back alley in Monstadt. Upon waking him up, Lumine then found herself holding onto him as he emptied last night’s drinks onto the street. So much for being a regal archon.

“Venti, this isn’t safe! Let me take you home!”

“Yeah! Paimon thinks that the tone-deaf bard has had more than enough dandelion wine!”

But by then, Venti had turned his attention towards the next drink someone had paid for him, which he instantly gulped down. Streams of wine ran sloppily down his chin, staining his cape and shirt. The moment he finished the last of the glass, his body paused, seemingly frozen in motion. The crowd grew quiet, expecting the bard to perform another haphazardly done song. But instead, the pause followed with Venti collapsing onto the table, out cold from drinking too much.

“Venti!” Lumine cupped his cheek to get a better look at his face, indeed confirming that he was unconscious. Having no other choice, Lumine hoisted Venti onto her shoulder to half carry, half drag him away, to the utter shock and amusement of the crowd. She grew irritated upon realizing that no one had offered to help, let alone voice something akin to concern. But for them, she realized, this was the norm for this performer. Venti always performed for food and drinks, and overindulgence was more common than not. If anything, she was the odd one for caring enough to drag him away. She could hear Paimon nagging in her ear, saying something about how the tone-deaf bard should be left to sleep on the ground. But Lumine wouldn’t stand for such a thing.

Renting a small room from a local inn, Lumine laid Venti to rest on the room’s single bed. Upon putting him down, Lumine collapsed to the ground, panting from the strain of moving him across town. Beads of sweat ran down her face, which she wearily tried to brush away with her forearm. Meanwhile, Venti was beginning to stir, and Lumine could hear him groaning like a pond frog.

“Where...?”

“We’re at an inn that Lumine dragged you to, and paid for! You owe her!” Paimon shouted.

“Lumine...! How was my performance? They- they liked it, right?” His voice was hoarse and uneven, making it all the more clear that he wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Yes, yes, you did wonderfully, Venti. Now try to get some rest-“

“But Lumi!” He grabbed her hand suddenly, making her jump.

“Yes?”

“But did you like it?” His words made Lumine hesitate. The first lie was one thing, but was it fair to lie a second time? She reasoned that her lie was too far gone to backpedal for this second answer.

“Yes, Venti, it was lovely,” she whispered.

“Good, good... I sang... like a dove, to proclaim my love,” he mumbled, his eyes growing heavy. Venti squeezed her hand tightly before drifting into a drunken sleep.

“Ehhhh?! Tone-deaf bard likes Lumine?!” Paimon exclaimed. “Hey! Venti, wake up! Are you messing with us!” Paimon poked and prodded him to no avail, as Venti was out cold. She sighed, turning to Lumine. “That bard really is a fool. There’s no way- huh? Lumine?” Upon looking at her, Paimon saw that Lumine’s face had turned a bright red, her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

“Wait! Do you actually like that silly bard?”

“N-no! It’s not like that! And, I mean, it’s probably not true, right? People say strange things when they’re not thinking,” she mumbled, now turning away from the bed.

“Hmm, but Paimon thinks you’re lying! Paimon sees how you look at him compared to everyone else. Oooh, Lumine’s in love~” she teased.

Lumine shot Paimon a scowl. She looked at Venti wistfully, shaking her head, “I do love him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s an archon. A protector of freedom. Love would tie him down. I would tie him down,” her voice cracked, her hand meeting her lips to cover her emerging sorrow.

“Don’t say that! Paimon doesn’t like the bard personally, but you deserve to be happy!”

“Thank you, Paimon. But please, don’t tell him. I’ll be the one to decide” she said.

Paimon sighed, “Okay, but Paimon hopes you know what you’re doing.”

“It’ll be fine,” was all Lumine said before leaving to sit by the moonlit windowsill. Alone.

By the time Venti finally came to, the sunlight shone harshly through the now opened window. He was forced to open his eyes gradually, his head spinning from the intense hangover he was now experiencing.

“Boo!” Paimon suddenly appeared in his field of vision, making him jump. “Lumine went to go get some food and supplies for our next trip, so she left Paimon to make sure the bard doesn’t do anything rash!” She crossed her arms proudly to emphasize the importance of her role.

“I see. Will she be back soon?” he muttered.

“Maybe?” Paimon didn’t sound all that confident.

.

Hours passed. As the sun reached its peak and began to fall, Lumine still indicated no sign of returning. By this point, both Venti and Paimon grew worried, and agreed that it was time to search for her.

“Finally! Something we agree on,” Paimon said, watching Venti scribble a quick note in case Lumine came back.

“I am her friend, and the wind is telling me there is something to amend.”

“Oh, well uh, I wouldn’t know,” Paimon answered unconvincingly.

“No matter, we should still work on finding her. At least she has her Vision set to anemo. That makes her easier to find.”

.

Eventually, he and Paimon found her at the shores of a nearby river, close to the outskirts of Monstadt.

“Look! There she-“

“Shh!!” Venti held a finger to Paimon’s lips, silencing her. A scowl formed on her face as she quieted down.

Using his Anemo powers, Venti focused on letting her voice travel on the wind, making it easier for her to be heard.

“...Oh Lumine, you’re such a fool. A human and an archon? One of freedom? It wouldn’t be fair. I just-“ she growled in frustration, periodically throwing stones into the rushing water.

Upon hearing this, Venti grew to realize that that occurrence last night wasn’t a dream. It was real, and she had heard the most unromantic way a bard could’ve possibly confessed their love. But he agreed, in that his affection for her did feel out of character. Were archons even allowed to have such feelings for a mere mortal? The division in their respective roles made him hesitate. Not because he thought lowly of her, but rather about their future. The thought of losing her made his stomach churn, but he tried to convince himself that it was the remnants of alcohol talking.

.

He approached her warily, not wanting to startle her. “Lumi? Lumi, are you alright? You didn’t return so I was getting worried.”

She turned around slowly, her shoulders shaking from trying to hold back her sobs. Venti’s heart ached from the sight of her, his saddened gaze making her cover her face in shame.

“Don’t look at me. Just- just leave, pretend you saw nothing,” she choked.

But he didn’t leave, and instead sighed before beginning to speak. “Lumine, what did I say last night?”

“You don’t... remember?”

“No, I’m sorry. But regretfully I have been listening in. I was worried of where you have been,” he explained, averting his eyes regretfully, “I said something. Something about love, yes?”

She nodded slowly, hugging herself in preparation for his rejection.

“Well, it’s true. I... I am in love with you, Lumine. I just wish I could’ve told you in a better way. Perhaps singing like a dove to express my love would’ve been much better to hear, huh?”

From that statement, Lumine suddenly stopped crying, staring at him with a look of shock. He raised an eyebrow quizzically, only more confused than before.

In the silence, Paimon added her two cents, “Oh, wow! That’s what the bard said last night too! If the rhyme was the same even when he was drunk, he must really care about Lumi!”

“Is that really true? You have feelings for me?” she asked in disbelief, reddened eyes wide with a shocked expression.

Venti nodded slowly, before taking a few steps closer to her. In response, Lumine stepped back, afraid to completely allow herself to be vulnerable in his presence.

“But why? I would take away a part of your freedom,” she argued regretfully.

He smiled, “Yes, that is true. But I’ve always envisioned Monstadt to be a city of romance and new experiences. I just never thought that there would come a day that I too would fall for someone. You’re in pain, Lumine, because you’ve bound your feelings in chains,” by the end of his statement, he found himself frowning again.

“Is it okay?”

“What is?”

“Is it okay... for me to love you?”

“Yes, it is. And it is okay for me to love you in return. This will admittedly not be easy, but I truly believe that the wind brought us together for a reason.”

This time, when he tried to approach her, she didn’t move away, instead letting him slowly step towards her shaken form. As the sun began to set over the horizon, Venti thought about how brilliantly the color reflected in her glassy eyes. It was both a stunning and heartbreaking sight, making his heart skip a beat. Soon, he grew close enough to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close against his chest. In his embrace, Lumine found comfort in how warm he was. It felt like being enveloped in a warm summer’s day. And it was then, that she finally realized that he truly loved her with all his being. Taking deep breaths, she finally closed her eyes, allotting time for them to rest.

She felt him begin to walk, still holding her close. Lumine followed his lead, trusting him enough to keep her eyes shut. Venti chose a nearby tree to rest under, guiding her down to sit with him. Awkwardly, the way she had clung to him caused her to remain in a seated position on his lap, which he admittedly didn’t mind, but it was enough to make his cheeks heat up. Still, her eyes remained closed as she nuzzled her weary face into the crook of his neck. Save for the sound of their breathing, it was quiet. Paimon had presumably left to give them some much needed space. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

“Lumi, are you asleep?” he whispered.

“No, I am simply resting, dear bard,” she hummed. Her sweet voice sent a shiver down his spine, the affection in her voice making his heart skip a beat.

He wondered if she was teasing him at this point, keeping her gorgeous eyes hidden from his sight. That could be fixed. Placing a hand against her cheek, he slowly lifted her face, brushing his thumb against her smooth skin. This time it was Lumine’s turn to shiver, the roughness of his calloused fingertips feeling foreign to her. He smiled to himself, before leaning in to plant a soft kiss against her perfect lips. In his shyness, he only lasted for but a brief moment before pulling away. But he got what he wanted, as the kiss had finally tempted her into revealing her eyes once more. She offered a gentle smile in return, combing a strand of hair behind her ear. Playfully, she leaned her body closer against his, blessing him with a kiss of her own. The feeling sent sparks flying in his head, his hands moving away from her face to run through her choppy hair. He felt her hands move to rest against his chest, lightly gripping his shirt to maintain balance. The two only pulled apart when Lumine finally had to pause for air, gasping for breath. Venti planted a final kiss on her forehead before tilted her face towards his gaze. The prominent circles under her eyes made him frown.

Summoning his lyre, Venti strummed it thoughtfully, playing a gentle score. With it, accompanied his voice, now expressed in the form of a soft lullaby. As he sang, he felt her head lean against his chest, her breathing growing slower with each note. By the end of his song, Lumine was already fast asleep, still holding onto him tightly. Her serene expression made him smile softly, “Off to the land of nod I see. Goodnight my friend... my love.”

[xbunnybunz]

Weak Hero University (2/?) [Reader x Weak Hero]

Summary: I know you assholes are crying now that the first season of Weak Hero is over. But you’ve got other things to focus on, like where the fuck you’re going to live after getting kicked out of your old dorm. Luckily, you’ve found one last open room on the other side of Weak Hero University. What could possibly go wrong?

Genre: Romance, Humor, Slice of Life

Date: 6/1/2021

A brief introduction of everyone later, you haul a suitcase into the room while Ben noisily and clumsily pulls on his shorts, after much persuading from his friends.

“You’re living… Here? In the boys dorms?” Eugene asks, tagging beside carrying your schoolbag. “Isn’t that against the campus policy?”

You park the suitcase beside by your room and sigh, popping your back briefly.

“I’m just as confused as you guys are, but the keys here seem to be for this room here.” You allow a single gold-hued key to dangle from your fingers on a cheap polyester lanyard, Eugene’s eyes follow the menacing stare of the school mascot printed on the side until you pull it out of his sight.

“Let’s see just how fucked up this school is when it comes to money extortion.” You put the key in the door and hear a tell-tale metallic ‘click.’

“Wow.” A voice says from the couches. “Pretty fucked up.”

You sigh, shoulder slumping forward. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

Most of the items go into your room without much hassle at all. A suitcase full of cute PJs you and your nonexistent best gal roommates could rave over, a plastic box full of face masks you’d probably never be able to use without being made fun of, and a waterlogged ziplock baggie half-full with notes (and corn chips) from last semester.

What? A folder? What the fuck is a folder?

A boy with silver hair passes by and begins to say something to you, but seems to debate better options when he sees the plastic baggie on the floor.

Feeling slighted somehow, you ask Eugene who he is once he’s out of earshot.

Eugene laughs and begins to speak but an arm looping around his neck cuts him off.

A pair of shimmering emerald eyes meet your own, but it’s clouded with a shadow of mischief. “You haven’t heard? That’s the white mamba of E-quad. He’s fearlessly beaten bastards so bloody with belts that we have metal detectors installed at the dining hall entrances now!”

“Stop exaggerating, Alex.” Eugene chokes out, sounding mildly discontented while desperately trying to pry the arm from around his neck.

“Wait, that was because of him?”

Eugene and Alex both freeze, brows furrowed. “Wait, you weren’t kidding?” Eugene asked.

“I was.” Alex says.

They both fix their gazes on you, and you’re suddenly struck with the memories of needing to surrender your lockpicking kit in front of several dozen freshmen behind you, and the hot desire to bury that memory consumes you.

“Haha, me too.”

They don’t seem convinced.

Before the conversation about buckle-assisted homicide can continue, a large shadow descends upon your form and a great arm reaches out from the heavens above. “Here, I grabbed this from the kitchen in case you needed a snack.”

You look up and see Gerard, the tallest and blindest of the group. You accept his gift of a single (1) lunchables capri-sun with much adoration in your heart.

“Thanks Gerard.”

He gives you a smile to remind the audience that he is, simply put, cool as fuck.

“No problem.”

Well, one problem. You eye the last bit of your luggage sitting at the doorway like a heaping pile of hot flaming garbage. It’s an amalgamation of the extraneous bits of your personality you’ve collected over the course of the past semester at Weak Hero University and maybe a forgotten bagel. Despite your previous roommate’s pleads for you to throw some of it out, you’d be damned if you weren’t a treacherous little hoarder. Simply put, it was a huge box of insignificant trinkets that made for a very significant problem. You had gotten lucky to cross paths with a cute but gullible junior earlier, who you immediately marked as prey and flirted with before unceremoniously dumping your crap on him to carry across campus. But now you’d have to pick up the box of crap yourself, which would prove to be a challenge with how little you actually wanted to be responsible for your own items.

The three boys see you eying the box and you perk up immediately, eyes glimmering with the possibility of wooing the fine gentlemen into helping a oh-so-meek lass like yourself.

You twirl a piece of hair between your fingers and bat your eyelashes at nothing at all, pouting your lips and hoping they weren’t too crusty. “Oh, I’m so tired. How am I ever going to move that big and heavy box?”

You stare dismally into an off-corner and attempt to look forlorn, grimacing when you see a weird  construction of a human-sized dorito-chip statue made of empty dorito bags beside the television. This was the moment your main love interest would swoop in and offer his servitude to you, dewey roses blossoming on convenient parts of the screen. Here it was, your very own shoujo moment!

But there’s no offer. In fact, you stare so long at the doritos statue that you begin to get spots in your vision.

When you turn back, the boys are by the box in question, though they are not attempting to move it at all. Instead, they lament over the problem with you as opposed to offering a solution.

“Ah, that thing looks so heavy. Sucks to be you.” Alex laughs.

Euguene shakes his head. “Right? I wouldn’t even be able to get a corner off the ground.”

Gerard places a thoughtful hand on the back of his neck. “You should probably save the capri-sun for after moving everything.”

Ugh.

Just when all hope seemed lost, Ben meanders out of his room. This time, all his articles of clothing are intact.

“Hey, what are you guys staring at?”

Yes! This was your movie-moment after all!

“Oh Ben! Thank god you’re here.” You resume your maiden in distress pose. “I was just so tired from the trip, my feeble heart and body can’t bear to-“

Alex pokes his head up when he hears Ben approaching, waving him over. “Look at all this shit she has. She’s like those people on My Strange Addiction!”

Irritated that he’s cut you off, you try to continue. “I won’t ever be able to lift all that on my own-!”

“Aren’t you talking about Hoarding, Buried Alive?” Gerard asks, clearly already losing interest in the luggage.

“Actually, I think that would be Hoarders, the reality television show that aired a little before My Strange Addiction took flight! It’s actually really interesting how that all started out, if you want to hear about it.”

You scowl at the back of Eugene’s head and stop quickly when Ben shoots a grin at you.

He puffs out his chest in a stupid himbo way and thrusts his thumb into his chest. “I can move this for you! No sweat! Just tell me where you want it!”

Sweet! You were about to resort to desperate begging, but those plans are cancelled!

You clasp your hands together and sigh, envisioning a world where men with muticolored hair fall in love with you.

“Oh, anywhere in here is fine, thank you so much Ben!”

As he goes in to lift it, you can see his muscles straining against the well-fitting fabric of his shirt.

Oh yes, this is definitely worth the dorming fee.

“Ben, you’re so sweet for helping me with this!” He ambles past you while struggling to hold the lid of the box closed. A strained voice comes from beyond the green rim of the bin. “Yep, no problem at all.”

You follow him into your room, tailing him while rambling about how grateful you were.

“You know, there was a junior who I met by the campus square on my way here. He helped me move everything to this building, but he struggled with that box a lot longer than you! I’m actually not sure how you’re even getting it off the ground without a wedge and trolley, but boy am I glad!”

Ben stops at the foot of your bed, barely able to peek over the edge of the bin. “Erm. Is here okay?”

“Hey I mean, as strong as that guy was, you’re definitely cuter than him. I was almost sad to see him go, but that’s the life of a busy woman!”

“Pleasemyarmsareshaking-”

“As great as all this is, I’m actually really excited to make friends with everyone! Given these strange circumstances that usually only happen to indulge borderline psychotic fans, we should take advantage and-”

Ben drops the box on the floor and you screech, a pain shooting up your leg and pumping adrenaline into your veins.

“-FUCK! Shit!”

Ben freezes and realizes the absolutely fuckery he has just caused, but before he can react, you grab the corner of the box and throw it off your foot in a show of brute gorilla strength, crumpling to the floor in agony.

The boys have their heads poked into the doorway, curious after hearing two cuss words successively. They blanche when they realize the situation.

“Oh fuck. My bad?” Ben wants to comfort you but is frankly quite scared to after seeing your display of power.

“Did she just throw that thing with one hand?” Gerard asks.

Alex stares at the scene before him. “What the hell happened to her foot?”

Eugene titters about nervously, playing with his fingers “Do we have first aid?”

From the kitchen, a deadpan voice is heard. “Where’s my capri sun?”

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 8: 1997 Broadway 10th Anniversary

Hello, everyone! This is the latest edition in my attempt to chronicle all of the musical and lyrical changes which the show Les Miserables has undergone over the years. After a few consecutive editions focused on regional choices, we're finally back to official libretto distinctions. Specifically, this edition covers a substantial rewrite that occured in 1997.

To fully understand the circumstances in which this rewrite took place, it is useful to look at some background information. The original Broadway production of Les Miserables was definitely not its most popular production from an audience perspective. The cast tended to be judged as inferior to touring and international productions. Moreover, cast members often stayed in Broadway productions for very long time periods, leading many to question the show's freshness.

Consequently, there was a large-scale firing to the point that, in January 1997, every principal cast member was let go except for Christopher Innvar (Javert). For the next month and a half, the third national tour cast would perform on Broadway.

March 12, 1997 marked exactly ten years since the original Broadway production opened. To mark this occasion (and perhaps to direct attention away from the questionable ethics of essentially firing an entire workforce on short notice), a new cast would officially take over from the third national tour cast on this day. Not only this, but the show which this new cast would perform was freshened significantly (an update that would also be applied to all existing and new replica productions worldwide soon afterwards). The blocking was adjusted to give off more energy, the lighting was digitized and made more complex, the sound effects were made more realistic, the sets and costumes were refurbished and in some cases changed... and the libretto received many edits. Let's get into what actually was changed...

Oh, and as a side note, not all of the changes were made simultaneously. Most were, but a few small edits (mostly musical cuts) were made later in 1997. I suspect that, in acknowledgement of Cameron Mackintosh's reservations prior to the original London productions as well as a warning of what would come in a few years' time, those cuts may have been made in order to reduce overtime costs to crew members. That is only a theory of mine, however; please take it with a grain of salt.

Anyway, let's get our analysis started!

1997 Update #1

The first libretto change (in a sense) occurs during "Lovely Ladies". Granted, this is a change that had already been applied unofficially in the Broadway and West End productions; however, I'm not sure if it was ever used in the US Tour previously. Originally this was the lyrical sequence:

(SAILORS - simultaneously with prostitutes’ lines)

Lovely lady, fastest on the street

Wasn’t there three minutes

She was back up on her feet

Lovely lady, what you waiting for

Doesn’t take a lot of savvy just to be a whore

Come on lady, what’s a lady for?

(PROSTITUTES - simultaneously with sailors’ lines)

Lovely ladies, lovely little girls

Lovely ladies, lovely little ladies

Lovely girlies, lovely little girls

We are lovely, lovely girls

Lovely ladies, what’s a lady for?

The sequence was finally officially replaced with the following exchange (that was more or less invented for the 1992 UK tour):

(PROSTITUTE)

God I’m weary, sick enough to drop

Belly burns like fire

Will the bleeding ever stop?

(PIMP)

Cheer up dearie, show a happy face

Plenty more like you, dear

If you can’t keep up the pace

(PROSTITUTE)

Only joking, dearie knows her place

Interestingly, this officially version uses "Will the bleeding ever stop" as the West End and Broadway production previously did (as opposed to the 1992 "Will the bleeding never stop"); however, it also uses "you, dear" from the 1992 edit, as opposed to "you here" as had been used in the West End and Broadway productions. However, many individuals continued to sing "you here" for many years to come.

In "Fantine's Arrest", Bamatabois originally declares:

You've got some nerve, you little whore

You've got some gall!

The 1992 UK tour introduced the following variation, which had also been used in the West End production prior to this edit:

You've got some sauce, you ugly slut

You've got some gall!

The 1997 libretto combined these two versions into the following line:

You've got some nerve, you ugly slut

You've got some gall!

However, the original "Little whore" was maintained in the libretto as an alternate lyric. I do like how "little whore" actually rhymes with the preceding line ("I won't pay more"), though "ugly slut" does carry more threat. The West End production went with "ugly slut" after this libretto change, while other productions stuck to "little whore" for the time being.

Note that the rest of "Fantine's Arrest" plays out the same as it had since 1986, and did not include any of the other 1992 UK tour variations.

Right off the bat, "The Runaway Cart" is different in this version. The scene now begins with a sound effect of a horse's neigh, a nice little touch that brings one far more in the moment than one might otherwise be (particularly since modern audiences likely wouldn't immediately envision a horse when hearing about a crash). Moreover, the original yell of "Look out! It's a runaway cart!" has been eliminated in favor of more improvised remarks.

The townspeople's remarks mostly are consistent with the 1992 UK tour edit, with one exception. This is how the UK tour lyrics (which were also used in the West End production) went:

Look at that

Stay away

You’ll be crushed by the cart

Don’t approach

Don’t go near

It’ll fall on you too

Oh my god, who is that?

It’s Monsieur Fauchelevent

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

There is nothing to do

The version used on Broadway and in the US tour in the mid-90s was as follows:

Look at that

Stay away

You’ll be crushed by the cart

Don’t approach

Don’t go near

At the risk of your life

Oh my god, who is that?

It’s Monsieur Fauchelevent

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

There is nothing to do

The 1997 libretto cemented the scene as follows:

Look at that

Stay away

You’ll be crushed by the cart

Don’t approach

Don’t go near

It’s that load, it'll fall

Oh my god, who is that?

It’s Monsieur Fauchelevent

He is caught by the wheel

Oh the pitiful man

There is nothing to do

I really like how much clearer in meaning the changed line is, although a part of me still has a soft spot for the rhyme scheme of the UK tour.

The crowd's response to Valjean's plea for help has been changed. Since 1987, this is how it went:

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

The load is as heavy as hell

The old man is a goner for sure

It will kill you as well

The 1997 libretto edited the penultimate line:

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

The load is as heavy as hell

If you touch it the whole thing will fall

It will kill you as well

I suppose the revised lyric makes it clearer what exactly the danger is. On the flip side, though, the line "It will kill you as well" feels a bit less natural. Originally it meant "it will kill you as well as the other man who will be killed"; a fairly natural progression. Now, though, it essentially means "it will kill you as well as falling". This does make sense, but it doesn't really sound like a phrasing any real person would actually use.

The rest of the cart crash scene plays out as it did in the original version (not the UK tour version).

"Who Am I?" starts out differently right off the bat. These are the original opening lyrics:

He thinks that man is me

He knew him at a glance

The 1997 libretto uses these lyrics instead:

He thought that man was me

Without a second glance

The revised lyrics make ever-so-slightly more sense, since "knew him at a glance" implies a degree of correctness that obviously is false in this context. Having said that, I do slightly prefer the present tense of the original, since the fact that this false belief is continuous is integral to Valjean's dilemma. The revised lyrics give it a sense of the past that isn't really appropriate to the context.

Soon afterwards, a small lyrical edit makes the implications of the dilemma itself quite a bit different. Originally, after reflecting on the future employment of his works, Valjean repeated the same lyrics he sung earlier:

If I speak, I am condemned

If I stay silent, I am damned

The 1997 libretto tweaked the remark a bit:

If I speak, they are condemned

If I stay silent, I am damned

Only two short words are changed, yet the substance of his worry is completely different! Originally, Valjean's reservations are based primarily on how he would be viewed if he failed to provide his workers with the employment they need. Now, however, he is much more selfless, and is actually worried directly by their well-being. Much more appropriate given that Valjean is supposed to be such a redeemed man!

The West End production had once given Valjean the "You know where to find me!" line after "Who Am I?" and the Australian tour had given him the line "You will find me at the hospital St. John!" However, these were not official libretto remarks, and at least since 1987 he officially remained silent after his high note. This changed in the 1997 libretto, in which an optional line based heavily on the Australian tour one follows the number: "You will find me at the hospital!"

For the next five years, American productions generally would generally the line while, ironically given the production history, the West End show would not.

Since 1986 or so, the "Confrontation" number began with a bar of instrumentals, before Javert began his "Valjean, at last..." line. No more; the 1997 libretto has him begin singing acapella. Only during the second syllable of "Valjean" do the instrumentals start.

The next edit can be heard during the preamble to "Master of the House". A few lines are adjusted among the inn customers. Originally this is how the scene went:

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man?

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more

Or my old man is gonna do me in!

The 1997 libretto made it as follows:

Where's the wretched man?

Landlord over here

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more

Or my old man is gonna do me in!

I suppose the change from "bloody" to "wretched" was probably intended to make the show more accessible to non-British audience, since "bloody" does not seem to be a word frequently used in America or other countries. (Weirdly though, Thenardier keeps his "always pissed as newts" line from earlier; one would expect the word to be replaced with "drunk" or something along those lines!)

The change in order of the first two lines in the excerpt I quoted strikes me as odd. The original sequence of lines allows "man" and "gin" to form of a sort of off-rhyme, something lost with the 1997 order of lines. Did the writers decide that the off-rhyme was so awkward that it would sound better if they just didn't try at all? Who knows...

What is probably this libretto's most significant change in the entire musical happens right before the "Waltz of Treachery". While the original Barbican run had a rather extensive Well Scene, since the West End transfer the "Waltz of Treachery" just began with Valjean and Cosette's humming duet to the tune of "Castle on a Cloud". A short but lovely little scene was added between Valjean and Cosette in the 1997 libretto:

(VALJEAN)

Hush now, do not be afraid of me

Don't cry, show me where you live

Tell me my child, what is your name

(INSTRUMENTALS)

(COSETTE)

I'm called Cosette

(VALJEAN)

(*spoken*) Cosette...

The usual humming duet immediately follows. This scene gives some much-appreciated context to the "Waltz of Treachery", and to Valjean and Cosette's relationship as a whole. Honestly it feels a little incomplete to me nowadays when I listen to the audio of pre-1997 performances of the show. Valjean actually meeting Cosette seems like such an important detail to include! John Caird agreed with me evidently. To quote page 143 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables:

"If ever there is an amended English version of the show he would like to reinstate the Cosette-Valjean meeting. 'It was beautifully written - one of the most moving scenes in the show,' he says. 'It was taken out for technical reasons, but the well scene was moving and could have stayed.'"

It's heartwarming to see that Caird got his wish. I do wonder what exactly those technical reasons were, and whether or not the revised staging may explain why it could finally be reinstated.

On the flipside, there is a noticeable cut after the "Waltz of Treachery". After Valjean's "There's a castle just waiting for you", the 1987 libretto has about sixteen seconds of instrumentals to the tune of the number, followed by a reprise of Valjean and Cosette's humming duet. This is in turn followed by about eighteen more seconds of instrumentals, which transition into the "Look Down" number.

The 1997 libretto removes the reprise of the humming duet. Now, after "There's a castle just waiting for you", the eighteen latter seconds of instrumentals immediately play, and "Look Down" begins right afterwards. Although this leads to a more energetic change of scenery, I must say that the Thenardier's inn segment of the show feels a bit unresolved without the closing recollection of "Castle on a Cloud".

After Gavroche's opening lyrics to "Look Down", there was originally a musical sequence which played and then was repeated twice before the argument between the beggar woman and the prostitute. However, the 1997 libretto reduced this part so that it is only repeated once.

The same number soon takes a cue from the original pre-Broadway script. After the exchange between the beggar woman and the prostitute, this was the original exchange (which was still being used in the West End production at the time). Each line is a solo, with the latter one being sung by a male and the other three by females:

When's it gonna end?

When're we gonna live?

Something's gotta happen, dearie

Something's gotta give

However, the Broadway production had changed it to an ensemble piece:

When's it gonna end?

When're we gonna live?

Something's gotta happen now or

Something's gotta give

The 1997 libretto brought it back to solo lines, once again with women singing the first three lines and a man singing the last:

When's it gonna end?

When're we gonna live?

Something's gotta happen now

Something's gotta give

I've already noted in the past that I like the scene better as an ensemble piece. Oh well... It also slightly bugs me that the amount of syllables so much less naturally given that the third line loses a syllable. As we'll get into in later editions of this blog, a lot of producers apparently agreed with me, because a lot of productions slightly edited the exchange!

A more subtle difference is audible later in "Look Down". Previously, the line "Something for a crust of bread in Holy Jesus' name" was sung by the ensemble along with the rest of the "See our children fed..." segment. However, the 1997 libretto changed it into a solo line sung by a single beggar woman (despite the rest of the segment remaining an ensemble piece).

This edit was made to account for a change in staging. Prior to 1997, Marius and Enjolras stood on the ground, and the beggars began surrounding them while singing the ensemble piece. It made since for the entire thing to be a group effort. However, since 1997, Marius and Enjolras instead stand on the second level of the set, where they sing their lines to the beggars down below. The beggar woman with the "Something for a crust of bread" line walks by them on the set's second level, explaining why she along sings the line now.

As a side note, the 1987 Australian tour had previously made this exact same lyrical change. This makes me wonder if that production made a similar staging change earlier.

In "The Robbery", after Thenardier's "No mistakes, my dears!" there is originally a bar of instrumentals before Mme. Thenardier starts singing. Post-1997, she starts singing immediately after Thenardier finishes singing his line.

A change in the music was made to "The Robbery" alongside a staging change later in the number. Prior to 1997, Thenardier's con job was staged with him standing with a cane and hiding his right leg, making him look like he was missing a leg. This strikes me as an odd holdover from the pre-Broadway lyrics, in which the actual substance of his plea reflects his missing leg. However, the 1997 staging made it so that he is sitting down while turning the crank on a music box. The instrumentals to this part of the musical were simplified and made more synthetic in order to sound as though they were coming from the music box. I am not a fan of this change at all; it's far too self-aware for me to take the scene remotely seriously.

A change to "Red and Black" that was already widely used before this point was solidified into the show. Instead of opening with the first chords of the number, it now officially opens now with the sting that was introduced in the 1992 UK tour and which was later adapted into Broadway, the third national tour, and most international productions. For many years post-1997, it can be heard in every replica production.

To quote myself from part five of this blog:

"If I’m not mistaken, this musical addition was placed in to account for a change in staging. Originally the number began with the barricade set sliding off-stage, revealing the ABC cafe set behind it. However, around the time of this tour the blocking was adjusted. Now, the turntable instead revolved at the beginning of this number, revealing the ABC cafe set on the other end of the turntable and allowing the barricade set to double as the walls of the cafe. I believe the opening sting was added to allow time for this slightly more elaborate staging."

An extremely subtle difference occurs later during "Red and Black". Originally, Enjolras sings:

The color of the world

Is changing day by day

However, since 1997 he instead sings:

The colors of the world

Are changing day by day

This is a tiny change, to the point that it took me probably a few dozen listens of both pre-1997 and post-1997 audios to pick up on the distinction. Small as it may be, though, it's a very welcome edit. Given that the song revolves around more than one color (to the point that both colors are literally in the title), I honestly find it baffling that the lyric was ever written in the singular, let alone that it managed to hold onto that version for over a decade!

"Lamarque is Dead" is edited so that its lyrics are now consistent with the 1992 UK tour ones, as well as West End performances after that tour. Originally the lyrics were as follows:

On his funeral day they will honor his name

It’s a rallying cry that will reach every ear

In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame

They will see that the day of salvation is near

The time is here…

However, the 1997 libretto made them into what the West End and UK tour productions were already using:

On his funeral day they will honor his name

With the light of rebellion ablaze in their eyes

From their candles of grief we will kindle our flame

On the tomb of Lamarque shall our barricades rise

The time is here…

I generally prefer the revised lyrics, as I've discussed in earlier editions of this blog.

"The Attack on Rue Plumet" contains a couple of edits. Originally, Thenardier sings to Brujon:

You shut your mouth

Give me your hand

Post-1997, he instead sings:

You shut your mouth

You'll get what's yours

This edit was another that was partially made for the sake of a staging stage. In the original blocking, Thenardier and the gang are trying to climb over Valjean's gate, and Brujon would literally be using his hand to help Thenardier out. However, the 1997 staging changes things so that the gang is trying to pick the lock. This is much less of a group effort for obvious reasons.

Additionally, the new lyric has slightly more threatening undertones, given its implications of either positive or negative outcomes depending on how helpful Brujon actually is.

Later in the number, after Eponine's scream, Thenardier's reaction takes some cues from the original libretto. Pre-Broadway, these were the lyrics (which were still used in the West End at the time):

Make for the sewers, don't wait around

Leave her to me, go underground

You wait my girl, you'll rue this night

I'll make you scream, you'll scream alright!

Post-1987, this was the sequence instead:

You wait my girl, you'll rue this night

I'll make you scream, you'll scream alright!

Leave her to me, don't wait around

Make for the sewers, go underground

The 1997 edit essentially combined elements of those two versions:

Make for the sewers, go underground

Leave her to me, don't wait around

You wait my girl, you'll rue this night

I'll make you scream, you'll scream alright!

So the lines remain in the post-1987 form, but they are ordered in their pre-1987 form. I've already mentioned that I prefer the 1987 ordering of things, though the 1997 version isn't bad either.

Compared to the first act, the second one has much fewer changes. The first one comes not until the "First Attack" sequence. Before 1997, this was the students' response to their first victory:

(LESGLES)

See how they run away

(GRANTAIRE)

By God, we've won the day

The 1997 libretto changed it to the following:

(LESGLES)

See how they turn and run

(GRANTAIRE)

And so the war was won

I admit I prefer the original lyrics to this one. Grantaire's revised lyrics lack the incredulous spirit of the earlier ones, and the almost narrator-esque out-of-the-moment quality to his post-1997 lyrics is grating.

Later, prior to "Drink with Me", Enjolras speech is slightly changed. Originally he declares:

We must be ready for the fight

For the final fight

Let no one sleep tonight

The 1997 libretto makes his words as follows:

We must be ready for the fight

For tomorrow's fight

Let no one sleep tonight

Although "the final fight" has a climactic air that "tomorrow's fight" lacks, I suppose it is more realistic that Enjolras would have no way of knowing whether there will be more to come after the next battle.

Grantaire's lyrics in "Drink with Me" are edited a bit. Since 1987, this was what he sung:

Will the world remember you when you fall?

Can it be your death means nothing at all?

Is your life just one more lie?

The 1997 libretto edited it into the following:

Will the world remember you when you fall?

Can it be your life means nothing at all?

Will your death be one more lie?

Not terrible, but in my opinion the previous lyrics were far more effective. It makes much more sense to me for one's life to be described as a lie than one's death. The original lyric implies that the students' deaths are for nothing, and that their lives are meaningless. I suppose that is still the message of the revised lyrics, but they strike me as a bit obtuse for my taste.

That's it for the edits in this part (unless you count the official addition of the "You raised my child in love" and "I'll lead you to salvation" variation in the epilogue, which had already been used worldwide for a few years anyway).

But this did not mark the end of the chapter of the Les Mis saga. As I've mentioned earlier, a few edits were made in later months of 1997. So let's look at:

1997 Update #2

The first variation that can be heard in this version occurs during "Lovely Ladies". The "God, i'm weary..." sequence is originally sung in exactly the same tune as the rest of "Lovely Ladies". However, this edit changed it into a slightly different variation of the tune. In my opinion this is a definite improvement. As I mentioned in a previous edition of this blog, while thematically the sick prostitute scene is more fitting than the scene it replaced, it can potentially feel awkward when it's the sole part of the song in its tune not to feature the phrase "lovely ladies". Putting it in a different tune makes its out-of-place vibe feel intentional. In a way, its slightly different sound cements the idea that the prostitute is sick and is not functioning in the same way she ordinarily would.

The first of a few cuts occurs before "Eponine's Errand". Originally, it begins with a few seconds of instrumentals before Eponine starts singing. However, starting with this edit, Eponine begins singing acapella. Not until her first verse is finished do any instrumentals come in. I slightly prefer the version with instrumentals, but it still works alright.

The next cut happens during the opening barricade scene to the second act. Originally, Lesgles' "They will do what is right" is followed by a few seconds of instrumentals before Marius sings his "Hey little boy..." line. However, this edit removed those instrumentals, meaning Marius starts right after Lesgles stops singing. Truth be told I've always found that scene boring, so I can't say I object to cutting it down by a few seconds!

The last cut occurs after "Dawn of Anguish" and before Gavroche's death scene. The "Drink with Me" reprise after the former number originally is followed by an instrumental reprise of the chorus of "Castle on a Cloud". This is then followed by the closing notes to "Drink with Me". However, this edit makes it so that the reprise ends quickly, going right to the ending notes of "Drink with Me" without any "Castle on a Cloud" chords. I definitely prefer the original; it feels so much more emotional and reflective. I've been told it also holds some context to the original book of Les Miserables, though I don't know much more given that I have not yet read the book.

That just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what’s commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I’d love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye…

[shoichee]

Hello❤️❤️❤️ congrats with 100 followers🥳🥳🥳 hope the audience will expand😍 and can I repeat myself again? I love your works😍

So, can I request 5 with Himuro?

hihihihihi!! ty sm for your support squeeeeee, sure you can repeat again, think of it as a thank you for being there since the beginning <333 i actually have so much requests now it’s kind of crazy!

Himuro x Reader

5. “Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”

Word Count: 2255

prompt list here

TW: attempted assault and stalking, nothing graphic, but these are the main subjects for this scenario, so PLEASE PLEASE take care of yourself first if these topics trigger you and avoid them!

»»—————　☼　—————««

Himuro felt helpless.

The Winter Cup that year when Seirin rightfully won was over months ago, but even still, there is still a part of him that gnaws at him from the inside of his consciousness. Ever since he failed to stop Haizaki from making unwanted advances on his mentor.

No matter how much Alex assured him that it wasn’t a big deal, no matter how easily she shrugged the incident off, there is still a festering guilt that eats him away at how useless he was in protecting the people he cared about. He couldn’t even protect Kagami as an “elder brother,” and he couldn’t even protect Alex as a “male” against another male. Still, no matter how much he chastises himself for having such immature thoughts, they’ve continued to overstay their welcome. What kind of traits does an “elder brother” or a capable “male” even entail?

Someone who wouldn’t be beaten and swatted like a fly…

Someone who wouldn’t just sit idly by when someone is being wronged…

Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to fight back to protect someone, even despite the consequences…

But if that’s the case… that’s just the definition of a person with human decency, isn’t it? Yes, perhaps that is why he still mulls over the encounter to this day. First he split off his brotherhood with Kagami over a one-track goal of an equal rivalry, and then he talked down to his mentor before his Winter Cup game that evening… In the end, he was absolutely pathetic, losing to Kagami’s inborn talent and getting beat down while watching his teacher getting harassed and choked. He easily accepted the fact that Kagami surpassed him with his basketball… The latter? Not so much.

He hasn’t really talked about his inner turmoil with anyone. Atsushi is someone who would not care too much about the complex emotions that he’s currently harboring, much less help deal with them. His other teammates are graduating and too occupied with final exams. He could speak with Alex, but by now, she’s moved back to America, and a part of him doesn’t want to call her out of his self-consciousness and humiliation. You?… He could confide his troubles with you… but a part of him whispers that you’d think less of him if you knew how incapable he really was.

After all, if he couldn’t even protect you as your boyfriend… no, he’d rather not go too far into that thought.

He smiles at the thought of you openly complimenting everything of him every time he subconsciously downplays himself, whether it was his basketball skills or his looks or even his habits. He always thought about how cute you were when you always made exaggerated hand movements to express your sincerity when you shower him with compliments, even if he always told you that you never had to go that far in saying such things. (You always insisted that they’re true and he was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for anyways.)

To someone like Himuro who had always hid their inferiority complex and other entangling insecurities behind a mask of a genial smile, your words always reassured him that he wasn’t treating you horribly or neglecting you or just being downright selfish. Just like what happened with Kagami. Just like what happened with Alex. He just hopes he doesn’t fuck this up somehow with you too.

He had always apologized for how he couldn’t spend as much time with you as he wanted to; basketball practice doesn’t spare anyone, after all. Still, you would smack his arm and push him to the gym as you scolded him to focus on what he loved to do best. Ah, he really didn’t deserve you… how you were so understanding he would never know.

But dusk fell at another early-February weekday; it was still quite chilly, cold enough to see his own puffs of warm exhales. His hands are cold, but the rest of his body burns from running laps and repeating shooting drills moments earlier. His ears grow hotter still when he remembers that you two had planned a simple outing near the coffee shop around the corner.

“Atsushi!” Himuro turns back to call out to the center player. “I need to be going now.”

“Hmph,” Murasakibara huffs in reply. “I was gonna ask you to take me to that new booth to try out new samples.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs, noting the faint mist escaping his lips. “I’ll take you there next time, Atsushi. I have a date planned with (y/n)-san right now.”

“Tch, I’m leaving before you get too mushy on me. Buh-bye~” the giant drawls, casually strolling down the opposite path. Himuro manages to hold back a mild snort before he makes his way to head to the shop you two agreed to meet up at. Propping up his phone to look for your name to send a text, his eyes widen as he registers your name popping up on his screen as an incoming call. What a coincidence. You must’ve been anticipating this too. He smiles as he envisioned your anticipation at the table before he picks up on your call.

“Tatsuya?…” your voice rang.

“(y/n)-san,” he teased. “I didn’t think of you as an impatient person. Can’t wait to see me?”

“Yeah,” you said, but something about your voice was overly cheerful.

“Don’t worry,” Himuro hummed. “I’ll be there really soon. Give me 5 minutes.” He assumed it was just your excitement taking over that made you sound different than usual. He was about to hang up before you spoke again.

“A-Anywho!” you say. “How was practice, Tatsuya?”

“Hmm, the same it has always been,” he replies. “Just drills and laps before running a few practice games. Why do you ask?”

“No reason! C-Can’t I check up on you sometimes?”

“Of course you can, (y/n)-san,” he reassures you. There was a silence from your end, but he can hear how your breaths quickened over the line. He then registered some footsteps and maneuvers on the concrete and furrowed his brows in mild confusion. “… Hey, is there something wrong?”

“A-Ah yes! I’m at the laundromat right a-around the corner!” Your voice slightly peaks at the end. “Y-Yeah, yeah! I can’t wait to… s-see you soon! Uh, huh, m-mhm! You’re near right now, right? Yeah! You-you’re almost there!…” By now, your voice has taken on an almost hysterical tone.

“(y/n)?… (y/n)!” he half-shouts into his phone. “(y/n)! Can you still hear me! Where are you?!… Laundromat, right?” He breaks into a brisk run, ignoring the disapproving stares of other pedestrians on the sidewalk.

“I-I-I’m near the alley adjacent to the laundromat!… Yeah! C-Can’t wait to see you! O-Oh, don’t forget… um, to bring your wallet. S-Silly, you always forget to bring money, so… s-so…” You completely break your facade with a faint voice crack and a sniffle at the end. “Please… please hurry…”

Himuro pushes himself to a full sprint, completely disregarding etiquette as he pushes a few people to the side. His cold hands struggle to cease from shaking as he clutches his phone harder, as if he was holding onto you for dear life. Something terrible might happen to you, and if something happened to you on his watch…

Please, please, please, fucking god, please—please make it on time—

He grits his teeth and screams at his legs to move faster when he hears a stifled sob and a cry from your end.

“A-ah please…” you whisper. “They’re coming—they’re, Himuro, I don’t know where to ru—” All he heard after was a terrified scream before the line cut off.

Fuck, hurry up, hurry the fuck up—

———

Your phone was completely shattered on the floor, and you swore you had a few broken shards embedded in your skin somewhere from the harsh impact. That didn’t matter though. Not when there were two men grabbing you and trying to muffle your cries for help.

You try to use your elbow to hit their weakest parts, their joints, to loosen their grip. It worked, but as soon as you took a few steps, the other just tackled you to the floor to completely immobilize you.

You screamed, you kicked, you slapped, you elbowed, you punched, you flailed, but nothing seemed effective against two bodies, twice the size and twice the strength of your own.

You pitifully wail as a last desperate attempt, but in the quiet corner of the neighborhood, nobody seems to heed your cries for help. The sun had completely set by now, the year still experiencing the darkness of a winter night; by now, most are already at home relaxing. Their weight on your body was suffocating and you don’t know whether the pain was from the rough concrete, the shards, their weight, or all of the above.

You register them heaving you up with a firm hold on you still and shoving you to walk to the nearest vehicle they owned, and your legs are absolutely trembling from the shallow wounds you accumulated from the roughing and from the fear of the uncertainty of what would happen to you.

———

When Himuro lays eyes on your roughed-up state and the two men restraining you, all his fury and guilt and fear comes rushing back from his encounter with Haizaki.

He is not a rational man right now. He is not thinking of being the “bigger person.” He is not thinking about being a model athlete nor proper sportsmanship nor disqualification. There are no such thoughts of consequences, not when your life is being jeopardized.

He does not fucking care that he looks like the aggressor when he throws a left hook at the first man. He does not fucking care that the second man looks like his shoulder got dislocated. For once, he does not fucking care how his violent actions might cost him his prospective basketball career.

When he pulls your trembling body into his arms and feels how warm you are against his body in the night chills of an early-February weekday, he breathes out a long cloud of air, slowly calming himself as he hugs you more firmly against his side and pulls up to dial the local police.

He feels a slight sense of relief when he can feel you instinctively snuggling into his side for solace.

———

The local officers immediately got the gist once they saw the scene of two sprawled men, a terrified you, and a protective Himuro. After checking the nearby CTE cameras, their suspicions were confirmed. They still ask Himuro a few basic questions before they haul them off to the station; Himuro mostly answers for you.

Once the quiet fills the neighborhood again, you release a shuddering breath; Himuro knows because he can see your own mist from the corner of his eye. Still, you haven’t spoken a word since then.

“(y/n)…” he murmurs, bending down to your level to survey the scratches and bruises on your body before he hesitantly looks at your eyes. “Well… yell, scream, say something—anything… please.”

“… Can you… hug me again?”

“… Of course.”

And you both embrace tightly, Himuro tucking your head into his chest as you nuzzle as much as you could into his body.

“… Did they do anything to you?”

“They roughed me up and all, but… thank god you came…”

“They still put their hands on you—I couldn’t protect you—”

“… Why do you look so much more distraught than me, Tatsuya?”

“Because, I—I can’t do anything for the people I love and care about, and I… never mind, do you… want me to walk you home?”

“Wait, Tatsuya…” you whispered. “Let’s talk for a bit, please talk to me.”

“Our date—”

“Which we can always reschedule,” you said, bringing Himuro’s head down to nuzzle against your shoulders.

“If I was there faster—if I was there, this wouldn’t have…”

“Because you were there,” you corrected him. “I am able to experience another day, another tomorrow… especially by your side, where I’m happiest.”

“You must’ve been so scared—damn it, I—”

“Yeah… I’m still shaken up from that, to be honest,” you sighed. “I’m… just a bit paranoid about being alone in the dark now, but you saved me from the worst case scenario—Tatsuya, what’s wrong?! Are you crying—?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, quickly separating from you to rub his stray tears away before attempting to smile. “I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around. Please don’t mind me.”

“Oh silly,” you mused. “I’m dating you too. I want to be able to protect and care for you in my own way, too.”

“It’s getting dark, though. We should really start walking.”

“And we can talk while we do. I demand you to snuggle while we walk, too.”

“Haha… how could I ever say no to you, (y/n)?” He feels that gnawing sense of guilt and patheticness rearing up its head again, but when he looks at your earnest eyes even despite what transpired a few moments ago, the fact that you were safe and in his arms was more than enough to quell those feelings away.

In the lulls of a chilly early-February night, Himuro wraps a comforting arm over your figure as he draws a shuddering breath before he hesitantly begins. You look up at his face expectantly to show that you were giving him undivided attention as encouragement.

“It was during the Winter Cup a few months ago…”

———

End Note: being stalked by a dude in a CAR was NOT FUN. IT WAS NOT A FUN TIME !! 😭 unlike this y/n here, I had no one to “call” and pretend that I was meeting up with them because my walk route home comprised of only houses and streets, so that was something else OOF I was thinking of the worst case scenarios at the time;;;

[a-womans-rhetoric]

Natalie Wynn's "J.K. Rowling" and Disruptive use of Women's Rhetorical Tropes: A Defiant Reply to Transmisogyny

ContraPoints, surrounded by an opulent, candle-lit set and adorned in witch's garb, leisurely pours champagne into her glass — she's ready to breach the internet's hottest topic of January, 2021: her childhood idol being outed as a transphobe (link here). The video itself being over an hour and a half long, I would be hard-pressed to claim that I could ever hope to cover its entirety, comprehensively, in a single post. So to save-face, I'll be dedicating this space only to breaking down her most frequently used rhetorical tropes, one by one.

Irreverence

"Joanne, I wanna talk to you, Joanne! [Fans herself with a rainbow paper fan with the word "BIOLOGICAL" written across it] What is it about Joannes? I can't catch a break from these people" (00:23-00:29, emphasis added).

Wynn's introductory lines immediately open a dialogue with J.K. Rowling — however, this invitation of discourse is defiantly "irreverent" (reminiscent of Nomy Lamm's punk-feminist style in "It’s a Big Fat Revolution” (1995)). Contrapoints, herself a transgender woman, is aware that her very existence is considered in opposition to the TERF-ideology that Rowling subscribes to. Thus, she's rather playful — even openly disrespectful — with her diction: calling the British author by her first name in a mocking-tone and flaunting her own trans identity to the camera (in a way that would likely offend the fragile sensibilities of a transphobe). Her personal tone (with ample use of the pronoun "I") servers a duplicitous purpose: a simultaneous message of "sit down and listen" and a fair degree of "I don't care if you can't accept me."

"So, now that 2020 is finally over, I think we can let the record conclusively show that it was a year whomst is bad. And on top of everything else going on, truly the last thing we needed was the author of Harry Potter coming forward to announce there's two things she can't stand: bigotry, and the transgenders. (00:31 - 00:50, emphasis added).

Finally broaching the subject at hand directly, Wynn employs kairos alongside her irreverence. Kairos, or the rhetorical use of an "opportune moment," holds incredible weight in the first month after 2020: the year in which the whole world fell into a stasis. Characterizing Rowling's transphobia as a collective "the last thing we needed," is also rather dismissive — she unites herself with her audience with the pronoun "we" and invites us all to groan at the exasperating nature of Rowling's bigotry.

Claiming the Right to Speak / Personal Experience

"This is a painful topic for me all around because, as a transgender woman, I am honestly really hurt by a lot of the things Joanne has said in the last year. But I also know what it's like to be the target of a Twitter mob" (01:36-01:47).

As she begins to touch on the topic, Natalie Wynn claims the right to speak on the issue of Rowling's transphobia — a type of bigotry that directly effects her. However, Wynn also situates herself partially with Rowling in her acknowledgement that receiving Twitter backlash is a terrifying experience (an experience, she argues, that the human brain is not prepared to handle the scale of, 01:49-02:39). In treating her subject with such dignity — and adding her own deeply personal account— ContraPoints creates a credible ethos in the beginning of her video essay. The audience is inclined to listen to someone who has been directly effected by the subject of Rowling's controversy (transphobia) and someone who is, rather compassionately, willing to empathize with those who would wish her harm. Although the generally sassy, glamorous, and irreverent tone of the video still appears soon after (see: the above image), her opening up for this somber moment garners a fair degree pathos in the viewer — we, as human beings, are inclined to sympathize with people who are open about being hurt.

Metis (Embodied Rhetoric)

[The following ContraPoints quote is addressing the above J.K. Rowling tweet, content warning for transmisogyny] "Transphobes love to play this game where they pretend that trans people just don't understand basic biology, that's our problem! As if I didn't start taking female hormones because I'm acutely aware that my body is not the same as a cis woman's body, that sex is real. "[Fictional TERF character] You will never be a woman, Nathan. Every cell in your body is male and has a Y chromosome." Really? That's crazy. How you'd you learn so much about science? You know I don't really feel the need to have a second X chromosome, I get by with only one, I make it work. I actually like the Y chromosome, I think it's a little more dainty, you know, it's little softer, a little more petite. The X chromosome has a lot of extra appendages, and don't you think? I don't need anymore of those, thanks. No trans person thinks it's possible to change chromosomal sex and to pretend otherwise is to argue in bad faith" (08:47-09:34).

If you can excuse my gargantuan quote, I hope you'll agree that the dialogue ContraPoints builds here was just too good to cut short. Within this excerpt, we see Wynn's use of irreverance and personal experience blended seamlessly together. For this YouTuber, the personal is perpetually political — especially when her own identity is constantly taken as an ideological stance. She uses her own expertise in trans issues to pick apart just how disingenuous Rowling's assertions are — even accusing her of "argue[ing] in bad faith" with her reductive claims (later, taking specific issue with how Rowling treats trans-ness as a costume). But, here, she also directly invokes another rhetorical trope: that of metis, or embodied rhetoric. Natalie Wynn specifically references her transgender body as a sort of counterpoint to the condescending "sex is real" claims by TERFs. She cites her intrinsic desire to pursue hormonal therapy as evidence that she — and other trans people like her — are all "acutely aware" that there are chromosomal differences between themselves and cis women. With this salient statement, she then follows with some humor: which, again, utilizes her trans body in her rhetoric. Her characterization of the Y chromosome as "more petite" and playful declaration of not needing "extra appendages" lightens up the often dark tone that arguing for trans rights and liberation can take. The clever points she makes are by no means weakened by her humor — if anything, the audience is more willing to listen to someone who can "joke about themselves" (so to speak) while still arguing an incredibly important message.

Naming and Defining Issues

"When I see Joanne tweeting about how trans people think sex isn't real and they're erasing same-sex attraction and they're silencing women, alarm bells are ringing because I recognize these as familiar transphobic talking points, specifically TERF talking points. "TERF" means trans exclusionary radical feminism. God are we still talking about this? I promise this is the last time. So TERFism is a hate movement that disguises transphobia as feminism. ... The fundamental problem with TERFs is not that they're mean. It's that they're politically reactionary, they want to reverse the progress of trans liberation." (14:05-16:02)

In her definition of TERF rhetoric, Natalie Wynn outlines some dog-whistles that are obvious to her, as a trans woman. She calmly explains to the viewer that, oftentimes in the present-day, rhetorics of exclusion are thoroughly disguised; TERFs, specifically, hide their rampant transphobia as a form of feminism. However, she further clarifies that the specific "danger" that TERFs pose is not from their cruelty — it's from their fervent dedication to strip away trans rights through political means. By specifying this danger, Natalie Wynn shifts the conversation away from empty discussion of offensiveness/terminology, to issues which directly affect the lives of trans people every day.

[This portion addresses the picture above] Also an act of naming and defining, ContraPoints makes a distinction between "Direct" and "Indirect Bigotry." She argues that many people envision bigotry as a festering, public, frothing-at-the-mouth hatred — a phenomenon she dubs "the Westboro Baptist Church theory of bigotry" (20:06). In bringing attention to the human tendency to think of people as exclusively practicing "direct bigotry" — envisioning them as a sort of delusional "other" — she then forces the audience to contemplate the relative omni-presence of the more covert (and possibly alluring) "indirect bigotry." This definition, crucially, requires introspection. By allowing ourselves to think of bigots not exclusively as "Westboros," we're made to adopt a much more nuanced view of subjects (most) generally prefer to keep black-and-white. Natalie Wynn uses her J.K. Rowling case study to complicate this 2D view of "The Bigot," inviting others to more carefully examine how politically reactionary views develop.

Phew, this was probably the longest post I've ever typed up on tumblr! Hopefully, I succeeded in demystifying (or at least adding clarity to) some of the specific tropes ContraPoints uses (that are common to women's rhetorics as a whole). Thanks for reading if you stuck around this long, and my ask box is always open!

[rainbowpacifiers]

Twin Kingdoms (A3! Event story) - Epilogue: The Inheritance of G

Sorry for the delay! Reni talks A LOT. Some minor development concerning Hakkaku’s plans for the final play. Kindly excuse any potential mistakes!

Chapter 10 | Index

Reni: Thank you for taking the trouble to come. Board member A: Good work. It was the sprouting of a new GOD Troupe. Board member B: Both Asuka-kun and Takato-kun did great as well. They grew into fine actors. Board member A: Speaking of, Takato-kun no longer belongs to the GOD Troupe? Reni: That is correct. Currently, he's active as a member of the reborn MANKAI Company. Reni: If you would like, I want to introduce you to MANKAI Company's general director, who is in the back right now--. Board member A: I'm sorry, but we actually have a meeting. We will have to leave right away. Reni: Is that so?.... I will send you an invitation to MANKAI Company's next play, then. Board member A: Thank you. Board member B: It would have been nice if Amadate-san had been able to come as well, right? Being a theatre junkie too, he loves collaboration plays like this. Board member A: It appears he's in the middle of a business trip in the countryside, so there was no way around it. Reni: I see.... Board member A: We will be taking our leave, then. Reni: Take care on your way. Reni: (That leaves Syu--) Reni: (He left? I keep telling him to let me say hello, at least. Good grief.)

Izumi: That's a very lavish closing party. Azami: Are the ones here all staff members of the GOD Troupe? Tasuku: Yeah. The closing parties are always like this. Tsuzuru: What an incredible difference to ours. Haruto: Normally, we don't do such flashy things, but it's GOD Troupe's style to go all out when it's to reward the staff and actors. Azami: I want that yakuza to hear this, too. Tasuku: Feels like he'd only consider it after we earn as much as the GOD Troupe does. Azami: Urg. You're right, he totally would. Shift: Azami, the food is really awesome, so you'd better eat a lot. I always take some home in Tupperware. Haruto: You're the top actor; don't do something so miserly! Tsuzuru: Speaking of, there is so much food, I don't even know what to choose from... Izumi: Why don't we try a bit of each for now? Madoka: Hello, Minagi-san. Tsuzuru: Oh, Madoka, hey. Madoka: I wanted to say once more how nice it was to have been able to work alongside you. Thank you. Tsuzuru: The pleasure was mine. I learned a lot, and it was very stimulating. Tsuzuru: Thanks to working with you, I wondered if that was what it is like to have a conversation through a brush. Tsuzuru: For the first time, I experienced the feeling of exchanging ideas and feelings beyond speaking in words. Izumi: (Seems like this was even greater of an experience for Tsuzuru-kun than expected.) Tsuzuru: ....That reminds me. Director, there is something I would like to talk to you about. Tsuzuru: About the play that Hakkaku-san was envisioning - how do you feel about having his grandson help with the script? Tsuzuru: While working on the script with him this time, there were of course his skills, but it was also really easy do to. Tsuzuru: On top of the written interaction between Hakkaku-san and Madoka that would be born, I think it'd make Hakkaku-san happy that Madoka is writing for it. Izumi: Indeed, that might be a pretty good idea. Tsuzuru: Well, it all depends on Madoka, though. Madoka: --Of course, please let me do it. Madoka: If I could experience the ideas of the grandfather that I respected and work on writing a script for my brother, it would make me very happy, too. Tsuzuru: Great. Izumi: (Looks like Tsuzuru-kun was able to become friends with someone great to consult with. He did say that he didn't yet have the confidence to put what Hakkaku-san entrusted us with into shape.) Izumi: (But I'm sure it will work out with such a reassuring colleague like Madoka by his side.)

Host: The next number is--number 25! If you have a bingo, please come up! Shift: So, Haruto-san? Got one? Haruto: Not at all. Shift: Oh, you're one number away! If a 23 or 67 is called-- Haruto: I've never managed to get a win before, so it'll be a bust anyway. Shift: Eh, as I thought, you usually don't win at this stuff, hm? Tasuku: I've received stuff like a TV and a microwave. Shift: Seriously!? Haruto: You-...you usually play dirty. Also, stop showing off yer muscles by only wearin' short sleeves in the practice room! Izumi: Showing off muscles.... Tasuku: Haruto really is a pain when he's drunk... Izumi: And he's the type whose dialect slips out when he gets drunk, isn't he? Tasuku: He also gave me his real name, Yamada Genta, himself while he was intoxicated. Host: The next number is--23! Shift: Oh, Haruto-san, Bingo! Haruto: Huh? Shift: You've got a Bingo! Go up front! Haruto: Really...? Reni: Congratulations. Here is your prize. Haruto: Thank you. Reni: Ah, right. After the Bingo game, wait at the entrance for me. Haruto: --I will! Shift: Haruto-san, lead actor power! Azami: Congrats. Madoka: How great. Shift: What was your prize? Haruto: Erm...an eletronic kettle... Haruto: Sigh...you take it. Shift: Eh!? You sure!? Haruto: I've already got one. I can't possibly replace that, right? Shift: I can use it for cup udon! Haruto: Listen when other people talk!

Host: That concludes the Bingo tournament! Haruto: --

Haruto: ..... Reni: Sorry for calling you out here. Haruto: D-, don't be! Reni: I wanted to continue our conversation from the other day. About my coaching methods having changed... Reni: The main cause was that I realised my real feelings that were dormant within me. Reni: For a long time, I was obsessed, and I didn't have the room to properly consider anything but the members of my own theatre company. I failed as a chairman. Haruto: That's--you are my life, Reni-san! Haruto. --I, I'm sorry. I will mind my words. Reni: That's also a facade you put up, right? From now on, you don't have to hide it needlessly unless you’re on stage. Reni: ....You know that Tachibana, the father of MANKAI Company's general director, and I are old friends, right? Haruto: Yes. Reni: Even after I set up the GOD Troupe, I kept being influenced by Tachibana without realising it. Reni: Because of that, my field of vision became narrower, and my attention shifted to the individuality and variety each actor possessed　and I dared to avoid making use of that. Reni: Rather than the talent that Tachibana was blessed with, he emphasised making use of what each actor was born with and making them bloom "like" on a stage. Reni: I was against Tachibana's way of doing things and quit MANKAI Company. And therefore, I persisted with denying Tachibana's methods. Reni: If the GOD Troupe would succeed that way, I figured I'd be able to rank above Tachibana. Reni: ...But I was wrong. You guys made me realise that with your play. Reni: Tachibana's way was right. That's why I was enchanted by the man of the theatre named Tachibana Yukio. Reni: I had just intended to pursue my own ideals, but in the end, I am a merciless man who depends on one person. Reni: ...Are you disenchanted? Haruto: Na--no! Even then, I like the ideals you pursue. Haruto: As for my life as an actor, it will never change the fact that you are my greatest benefactor. Reni: Right...If I recall correctly, you broke away from your hometown in order to become an actor, right? Reni: Actors express something for the entire audience-- There is truth to it, but it's also part masquerade. Reni: Among the audience, there might also be one person whom you really want to reach. Who is that to you? Why do you continue acting? Haruto: At first, that was definitely my mother. Haruto: (She was very opposed to my moving to the capital, but even then, I'm sure she must have had great expectations for my future...) Haruto: (She must have also wanted to get back at all of those back in our hometown who knew that I wanted to become an actor and made fun of it.) Haruto: (After I'd entered the theatre company, I also discovered a rival that I absolutely did not want to lose against. But...) Reni: And now? Haruto: It's Reni-san. Haruto: Ever since Tasuku was in the GOD Troupe... Haruto: I was always wavering between a feeling of definitely surpassing him one day, and a feeling of possibly being no match for his talent. Haruto: This time, I lost sight of the meaning behind me continuing as an actor when I experienced my own powerlessness while once again being jealous of Tasuku's skills. Haruto: But, even if I can't win against the "real deal", I want to repay you and the GOD Troupe for the rest of my life. Haruto: That I'm going to continue with acting is for the sake of expressing my gratitude for being able to meet you and the GOD Troupe. Haruto: I want to make the superior ensemble that is the GOD Troupe eternal. Haruto: Being far from the world I dreamed of, I came to Tokyo with longing and met the GOD Troupe, which felt like my only destiny among many theatre companies. Haruto: The vague longing to go to a beautiful dream world has turned into a firm vow to carry on in/with the GOD Troupe. Haruto: So no matter what happens, I will never leave the GOD Troupe, I will never leave under Reni-san. Reni: --. Reni: ...During this time's rehearsals, I felt a little envious of Tachibana. Reni: While working on the conception with Tachibana's daughter, I felt a sensitivity within her that was close to Tachibana's. Reni: I'm sure that she must have inherited something akin to the theatre spirit that Tachibana believed in. Reni: I wished I had someone that could take over after me like that.  Haruto: You have me. Reni: ...Yes, indeed. I was reminded of that just now. There is no one but you who could inherit the ideals of the GOD Troupe. Reni: Haruto, carry a strong spirit as an actor. Haruto: I will. Reni: A spirit that I.... The kind of spirit of being an actor that I have acknowledged as the chairman of the first generation of the GOD Troupe. Haruto: --I will engrave that in my memory!

____________________

Chapter 10 | Index

[septembercfawkes]

Using Character Arc to Create a Story

Lately I've been writing down and pulling together different approaches to brainstorming and creating stories. Some are more basic and some are more advanced, and some will work better for certain people than others. Today I want to introduce an approach to brainstorming a story that works off character. Well, the character arc (or lack thereof, I guess), specifically.

So if you are one of those writers who tends to favor character over plot (🙋‍♀️ #GuiltyToAFault #WhatIsPlot), this might be preferable to you. If not, it's still useful to have at your disposal. Every story needs to address character arc (or the lack thereof, obviously).

Okay, so if you are new to the writing world, you might want to know what I mean by "character arc." "Character arc" is just a fancy term for how a character grows or changes through because of the story. Most of the time, we are talking about the protagonist, since that is the most important character. (But technically any character can have a character arc.)

And that's who we are referring to in this post, the protagonist.

First off, not all protagonists arc. Some protagonists remain the same. To be honest, this can get pretty tricky, as like most things in writing, terms aren't always black and white.

For the sake of this post, I'm going to break down the protagonist options into two categories: "change" vs. "steadfast." (Because I've used this elsewhere and seen it used elsewhere.)

Change Protagonist vs. Steadfast Protagonist

A "change" protagonist will do a more or less a 180, from the beginning of the story to the end of the story.

A great example of this is Scrooge. He starts out miserly and through because of the story, ends up being charitable. Other examples of famous characters:

Harry Potter: Unloved and powerless --> Loved and powerful

Elsa from Frozen: Closed off/isolated --> Open

Jean Valjean: Hard, bitter, cold --> Loving and merciful

Generally speaking, these would be called "positive" character arcs.

But you can also have a protagonist that has a "negative" character arc, such as Anakin's descent into becoming Darth Vader.

In the other category, we have the "steadfast" protagonist. A steadfast protagonist will be more or less the same from the beginning to the end--however, this doesn't necessarily mean he or she doesn't "grow." (Remember how I said this isn't necessarily black and white? Yeah . . . ) Sure, a steadfast character might stay essentially the same from beginning to end (cue classic Superman or 007), but most the time, in modern times, the steadfast protagonist will grow by degree.

Meaning, instead of doing a 180 flip, he or she will gain a greater understanding or a greater ability or greater experience. He or she will become more of something.

This doesn't necessarily mean the steadfast protagonist never wavers or never has doubts or never meanders the wrong way during the story. He or she just doesn't do a direct flip.

It's hard to explain this, because it's really more of a spectrum (someday, someday, I will write that steadfast protagonist article ✊, but until then . . .)

Some more examples of famous steadfast characters:

The Little Red Hen

Job from the Old Testament

Jesus from the New Testament

Captain America

Generally speaking, these steadfast characters offer a "positive" example. Their steadfastness ultimately leads to positive outcomes.

But you can also have a steadfast protagonist that offers a "negative" example. This is what you may find in a tragedy, where the protagonist refuses to change. Their stubbornness ultimately leads to negative outcomes. An example of this may be the grasshopper in the "Ants & the Grasshopper" fable.

(Also, I hesitate to use the word "example," because it sounds too highbrow or judgy, but it conveys my point.)

Okay, so now that we have those defined, let's continue.

Considering Your Character

This approach to creating a story is about figuring out how your character is at the beginning of the story and the end of the story, and then filling in the in between stuff.

Because often when you know how your protagonist starts and how your protagonist ends, you can get a better idea for what needs to happen in the narrative. And in a well-told story, the protagonist doesn't really change or remain steadfast through the story, but because of the story.

Think about your protagonist and how they are at the start of the story. What will they be like at the end of the story? If you aren't sure, maybe throw around some ideas until you find one that sounds interesting or that rings true.

Worth keeping in mind is that the protagonist's personal journey will play into the theme topic, so consider if there is a topic or attribute that sounds appealing to you. Do you want to write about love (Harry Potter), isolation (Elsa), hard work (the Little Red Hen), or bravery and kindness (Cinderella)? What defining characteristic does your protagonist have? What defines him in this moment in time? And of course, if you are brainstorming, you can come up with more than one answer.

Just know (I wish I'd known earlier!) that the attributes you choose to highlight in your protagonist will also play into the theme. So in choosing that, you are also influencing the theme. (However, let's leave creating a story via theme for a future method.)

While some writers prefer to think about how their protagonist is at the starting of the story to figure out the end, others prefer to envision the protagonist at the end, first, and then use that to help them figure out how the protagonist is at the starting.

For example, if I know I want Harry to be loved and powerful at the end, I might realize that I want him to be unloved and weak in the beginning, so his personal journey is more dramatic.

If you are new to writing, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret 🤫: Most people in the writing world will agree that the easiest and most-likely-to-be-successful protagonist option is a positive change protagonist.

Steadfast protagonists tend to be more difficult to write, especially for beginners.

Negative versions of either are more difficult when it comes to pleasing the audience.

Obviously all versions can be and have been done successfully, but it's good to keep this in mind. And my article aside, you will also find it is more difficult to find resources to help you write the other options, unfortunately. (Come on writing world! Let's remedy that!)

Okay! So next it's time to categorize (if you haven't already).

Is your protagonist a "change" character? Or a "steadfast" character?

Is this "positive" or "negative"?

Arcing the Change Protagonist

If you are writing a change protagonist, the next thing to do is to list out potential challenges, events, or problems that are going to invite (read: force, often by baptism by fire) your protagonist to change. As always if brainstorming, try to come up with more than you think you need. Often the first things that come to mind are cliches, and you gotta dig deeper for the juicy stuff.

Don't be afraid to be mean. Sometimes character-focused writers are afraid to hit their protagonists hard. But remember, that all stories should be about some type of death--meaning, the stakes should get high enough, that it feels like a life or death situation, even if it isn't. This means that there will be things that take place that cannot be undone, cannot be reversed--things that are "final." Also worth noting, is that stakes do more to reveal character than almost anything else (another article I need to write).

Now, if the change is positive, this often means the protagonist starts with a flaw, misbelief, or weakness that needs to be addressed and overcome. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is way too miserly! So what is it gonna take to make Scrooge, the most miserly person of miserdom, to change? Well apparently, three supernatural visits, that end in his potential death.

Unfortunately, the average person doesn't want to make a drastic personal change--it's hard and uncomfortable! So chances are your protagonist is gonna need some serious crap to happen to kick him out the door.

On the other hand, if you are writing about a protagonist who wants to flip 180, then this is likely a want vs. need issue. As the story progresses, say the protagonist thinks she wants to be rich, but realizes, at the end of the story, she actually needed to be loved. Notice, however, that this is still a "forced" change--because in reality, she went from unloved --> loved. So just keep in mind that what your protagonist is gunning for, may not be the same as what he actually needs. (Sometimes in positive stories like this, once the protagonist gets what she needed, she is then able to get what she wanted, as well, ex. finding out the love of her life is actually rich).

In most “change” novels really, you'll be dealing with a want vs. need within the protagonist, but let's stay simple for now.

If you are working with a negative change protagonist, your list of problems, events, and challenges may perhaps have a different nature, because you are thinking of how the protagonist is going to descend to something less. What does it take for Anakin to become Darth Vader? How does a high-achieving high school student become a notorious serial killer? And why? What happens that brings in these thoughts and leads them to make these choices? What will harden their worldview? What myths do they begin believing?

Perhaps they became so obsessed with chasing their want, that they miss out on their need. Since this is a negative arc, this is often the case, to some degree.

Again, list out more ideas than you need. Hopefully in the process, some ideas will start to coalesce and connect, with a sense of cause and effect.

From there, pick out what ideas are most appealing to you, what ideas or most impactful and dramatic, and (if you are familiar with how theme functions), what ideas best embody the thematic statement you want to make (or at least a perspective on the theme topic you want to explore).

Keep in mind that there are some key events in every story: the inciting incident (what kicks off the journey to change--typically the climactic moment of the beginning), the climactic moment of the middle (sometimes called The Ordeal), and the climax itself. These are big turning moments, so we usually want to use our big ideas for them.

In any case, all stories should escalate--meaning the problems get bigger, not smaller.

It might be helpful to organize your list with these things in mind.

Also, note that in the beginning of the story, you'll need to show how the protagonist currently is. Meaning, if you are writing a positive change protagonist, the beginning needs to show us what flaw, weakness, or misbelief the protagonist has, and ideally, how it is (negatively) affecting his or her life. If you are writing a negative change protagonist, you'll want to highlight attributes that foil what he or she becomes. Maybe this person was kind, innocent, and full of potential--show that in the beginning scenes.

At the end of the story, you'll need to show, or rather validate or prove, how your protagonist has changed. So we need to see Scrooge being charitable to others. We need to see Anakin become Darth Vader. Think about how you may validate the transformation.

Testing the Steadfast Protagonist

Now, if you are writing a steadfast protagonist, this will be similar, yet quite different.

Because the point in here isn't to illustrate a flip-flop. It's to illustrate ultimately holding onto core beliefs, despite all heck breaking loose.

The biggest problem writers make with steadfast protagonists, is they make it easy for the character to be steadfast. And it's annoying.

Instead of using a steadfast protagonist to illustrate how wonderful or great it is to be honest, charitable, kind, long-suffering--or how clearly wrong it is to be selfish, power-hungry, and dishonest--it's a gazillion times better and more effective to instead focus on the cost of being steadfast.

That is what this journey is about. Because if you want to be kind to everyone, that ain't easy! I mean, is it really easy to be kind to the person who murdered your dad? And guess what, if you are kind to certain people, they will take advantage of you.

If you are writing a steadfast protagonist, the point isn't to come up with ideas that will flip the protagonist, but instead come up with challenges, events, and problems that make it very difficult and costly to remain steadfast (to put simply, because in another sense, one could argue these are two sides of the same coin). These can be bad things that happen that are difficult to deal with, but on the other hand, they can also be bad things that innately come about from being steadfast in whatever characteristic the protagonist is illustrating (ex. if you are kind to everyone, you may pick up stalkers).

List out ideas that are going to legitimately test how steadfast your protagonist actually is. When it comes to attributes, we often think in either-or, but in reality, most of us just have boundaries. For example, I don't steal stuff, but if I was starving, I might.

So what needs to happen to test the boundaries of your protagonist's core? Try to look for complex situations that don't have an easy or obvious out. Sure, it's easy to be kind when you are surrounded by loving people and life's great. But can you still manage to be kind when you live with your evil stepmother and wicked stepsisters who are abusing you on a daily basis? Consider how being steadfast in an attribute can actually bring more hardship.

In a sense, Job got dumped on because he was faithful to God. People tend to recall his story as one where he remained optimistic--but if you actually read the story, the costs got so great, that he became bitter and angry towards God. It was the cost of being faithful. But the point was, despite that, he was still steadfast in being faithful.

And again, don't be afraid to be mean. It's the struggle that makes the victory sweeter (or the defeat worse, I suppose).

If you are working with a negative steadfast character, you may consider what challenges and hardships could provide the opportunity to grow into someone better--while also fairly showing that there are believable, logical reasons for them not changing. It's helpful to consider dilemmas. Sure, she could be kind and associate with someone in the lower class, but if her father sees her doing that, she is at risk for losing the family fortune.

When it comes down to it, when it really counts, will your protagonist choose to be selfish or self-sacrificing? If it's a negative steadfast protagonist, he'll choose the selfish option.

More or less (I am simplifying some of this for the sake of the post).

Often the negative steadfast protagonist will ultimately illustrate the tragedy and damage of not taking opportunities to change.

The positive steadfast character will ultimately illustrate the benefits of holding true to good values.

And keep in mind, just because a steadfast character doesn't change, doesn't mean he doesn't grow. In the story of Jesus, Jesus was already a God, but by atoning for the sins of humanity, He also learned how to succor His people according to the flesh. He still grew, by degree.

I like to think of this as the steadfast character gaining more wisdom.

So list out ideas of what could really challenge your protagonist's steadfastness. If he or she is going to grow by degree, consider how and in what way--what events can lead to that? What else does he or she learn and master about X attribute? And what does it cost to remain a certain way? How do these events lead to the protagonist ultimately becoming more steadfast? What wisdom is gained from them?

Keep in mind, we still want a coherent plot of course. So look for the personal journey and for cause and effect.

Since the protagonist isn't flip-flopping, often either the society or another important character will--sometimes because of the protagonist's steadfastness. For example, by Jesus choosing to do His father's will, it has lead many people since then to do a 180 flip in life. So it might be helpful to consider that as well. How can you show that change?

Once you have your events, pick out what ideas are most appealing to you, what ideas are most impactful and dramatic, and (if you are familiar with how theme functions), what ideas best embody the thematic statement you want to make (or at least a perspective on the theme topic you want to explore).

Hopefully by this point, ideas are starting to coalesce and connect together into a natural order--the story. Keep in mind the plot needs to escalate--it needs to become more difficult to remain steadfast the more time goes on and problems build, not easier. And pick big or impactful events for key moments.

In Closing

By this point, a story should start to take shape. Or you at least have enough ideas to send you in the right direction.

From there, you can outline, start writing, or dig deeper into incorporating more story-creating techniques.

In the future, I'll share another.

[pianomanblaine]

Killing Me Softly

He could have spent an eternity envisioning his own death and it still would not have prepared him for this.

Written for  @timebird84 ‘s Spooky Phantober, day 2. I know it says SPOOKY phantober, but I don’t really do spooky, so this turned into something else, I hope that’s okay. 

AO3 FFN

In the course of his existence, Erik had come close to death many times. He’d been attacked, beaten, poisoned more times than he cared to remember. He had imagined and anticipated his own demise in more than a hundred different ways. On a few occasions, he had even longed for it, relished the idea of someone putting an end to his miserable life, but the human instinct for survival is a strange thing, the body always doing everything in its power to stay alive no matter how hard the brain yearns for it to stop.

Nevertheless, he could have spent an eternity envisioning his own death and it still would not have prepared him for this. He had always thought it would be painful. Whether it was sharp and quick or slow and drawn out, in his mind there was always physical suffering involved. This was something else entirely.

This type of dying was… soft. Every smile she gave him, every touch and every kind word she bestowed upon him made him feel warm. Hearing her sing for him and only him during their lessons lit up his entire being from the inside, made his spirit soar to heights he had never known existed. Her mere presence was like a drug, a powerful painkiller taking away the hurt caused by the knowledge that she would never be his.

Even if Christine could feel even a fraction of the love he felt for her, he could never bring himself to kill her light by dragging her down to his world of darkness, and her realm of colour and brightness would always be out of reach for the monster that he was. So he would bask in her glow as long as possible, and when she finally left, she would take his heart with her, if he ever had a heart to begin with.

He had been slowly dying like this for about a month now, while he watched her live as she never had before. After her successful debut as Elissa in Hannibal, Christine had been given more prominent roles and had managed to shine in every single one of them (not that Erik had expected anything else). Her angel’s voice along with his tutelage made her into the rising star of the Opera Populaire. Soon the whole world would be at her feet. It would not be long now before she would spread her wings and fly, leaving him behind to rot in hell like he deserved. It wouldn’t be painful, he expected. Once she had gone and he had no more reason to live, he would simply cease to be.

But he had some time left before all of that was to happen. Tonight, his angel had given what could arguably be called the best performance of her career thus far as Marguerite in the new production of Faust, and he was waiting behind the mirror of her dressing room to congratulate her in person. Soon she came bustling into the room, a most becoming blush colouring her cheeks, no doubt as a result of the praise bestowed upon her by her adoring audience. As soon as the door had closed behind her, her gaze went straight to the mirror.

‘Erik? Are you there?’ she called out.

‘Of course, my dear,’ he replied, ‘where else would I be?’

Indeed, where else would he be? Every minute he spent in her presence brought him closer to his inevitable demise, but that would not stop him from basking in her light for however long she would allow him to.

The lock on the door clicked shut. ‘Won’t you come in, please? You know I prefer to talk to you face to face,’ Christine said.

‘Yes, I do know that, although for the life of me, I cannot fathom why,’ he murmured to himself as he swung open the mirror and stepped into her dressing room.

‘Brava, my angel, you were magnificent tonight, as I knew you would be.’

She thanked him quietly, looking away from him, her cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red. Would she ever stop being so shy and modest in the face of his compliments, even though he must have given her thousands already? And would he ever stop feeling this fluttering in his chest when he saw that breathtakingly beautiful smile on her face? He hoped the answer was no.

‘We should start preparing you for your next role. I’m sure the new production will be announced soon.’

‘Yes, I suppose.’

Although Christine usually threw herself into preparing for a new role with enthusiasm, she seemed rather reluctant to address the topic tonight.

‘Is something the matter, my dear?’

Finally, for the first time that evening, she looked him in the eye, although her reply was still rather hesitant.

‘As a matter of fact, there is something I wish to discuss with you concerning the next production.’

‘Oh? And what would that be?’

‘I… I don’t think… Oh please, don’t be upset with me, Erik!’ she cried out, hiding her face in her hands.

‘Christine, whatever is going on?’ he asked, hastening over to her and gently wrapping an arm around her slender frame. ‘Why do you think I would be upset with you? My dear, your reaction has me quite concerned. Speak, child. Tell me what is wrong.’

She sniffled, slowly moving her hands away, allowing him to see her face, but her eyes remained fixed on the floor as she spoke.

‘I don’t want the leading role in the next production. In fact, I would prefer not to have any part in it at all, but I know that would not be conducive to my career, and you have been working so hard to get me where I am today, for which I am ever so grateful, so I thought I could maybe request a smaller role as a compromise.’

Whatever he had thought she would say, this was certainly not it. For a moment, he was stunned into silence.

‘Erik? Please say you’re not upset with me.’

If she had been anyone else, he would have yelled at her that of course, he was upset, how could she willingly throw away all that they had been tirelessly working towards these past few months? But this was Christine, his angel. He had to be more careful and considerate with her. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away. So he took a deep breath and tried his best to remain calm.

‘You are the star of this Opera, Christine. This is everything you’ve wanted, everything you deserve. I simply do not understand why you would want a smaller role now. Please explain it to me.’

‘It’s not that I don’t enjoy it or want it anymore, Erik, because I do, I promise, but I have been spending so much time in rehearsals and on stage lately that I barely got to see you anymore. I was only hoping that if I took on a less significant role in the next opera, you and I could spend more time together again, like we used to.’

For a moment, Erik thought he had misheard her. Did she mean she actually enjoyed his company? That she even preferred it over being on stage? Maybe he was dreaming. No, hallucinating, that was more likely. The idea of an angel like her willingly spending more time with a demon like him was preposterous. Only he could have dreamt that up.

‘Let me see if I understood you correctly. You want to give up a leading role because you want to spend more time with me? Don’t be ridiculous, my dear. I thought you would have figured out by now that my dreary little place five stories beneath the earth is no place for an angel like you. Your rightful place is up here, on that stage, playing the lead. You will not settle for anything less, Christine, I won’t have it and that is final.’

Clearly, that was not the reaction Christine was hoping for. She drew away from him, taking several paces back, her small, delicate hands balling into fists.

‘And why should you get to decide that? It’s my life, my career, surely I should have a say in this as well.’

‘If you were capable of making choices that would be beneficial to your career, then yes,’ he retorted. ‘In this case, however, I think you should leave the decision making up to me, since you don’t seem to know what is good for you.’

‘How dare you!’ Christine gasped, her face now red with indignation, the look in her eyes suddenly more fierce and passionate than he had ever seen from her. ‘Is that what you want? To make all my decisions for me? Well, I suppose I should not be surprised. After all, that is exactly what you have been doing since we’ve met, is it not?’

Is that what she truly thought of him? That all he wanted was to control her?

‘Christine, listen –‘

‘No, you listen!’ she yelled. ‘These past few months, you have been telling me what to do. Not only how to improve my singing, but what to eat, when to come and when to go, how to behave towards Carlotta and the managers. And I have listened to you, let you guide me in whatever direction you liked like a puppet on a string, because I believed you knew what was best for me where my singing career was concerned. But you do not know what is best for me when it comes to my heart, Erik.’

When Erik didn’t reply – how could he, he didn’t even know where to start, didn’t understand what was happening at all – she slowly walked up to him, taking his right hand in both of hers and bringing it up to her chest, right over her heart.

‘I care for you, Erik. So much.’

He wanted to stop her right there, because that could not possibly be the truth, but she held up a hand to halt his protests. She continued, her voice softer now, looking up at him with pleading eyes, pleading for what he did not know.

‘When I am up on that stage, I’m not singing for the audience. I am singing for you. You are the one who gave me my voice, and so every time I sing, I am laying my soul at your feet. I could not care less who else is listening to me, as long as you are there. And I know you are there every single time, I can always feel your presence even when I cannot see you, but sometimes it feels like it is not enough. I want to be near you. I love to sing for you, but I want to sing with you as well. Please let me.’

If it had been physically possible, Erik’s jaw would have dropped to the floor. She could not possibly mean any of this, could she? She was right, he had controlled and manipulated her, even if he did not think of it as such at the time, and still she was here, standing right in front of him, telling him she cared for him?

When the ability to from words finally returned to him, her name was the first sound that crossed his lips.

‘Christine,’ he whispered, his usually confident and commanding voice now trembling with bewilderment, ‘I do not understand. How? Why?’

‘You silly man,’ Christine said, a soft smile playing on her lips. ‘Such a genius, and yet understanding human emotions has always been beyond your grasp, has it not?’

Suddenly he felt her soft little hand caressing the unmasked side of his face. He gasped, trembling under her touch, and before he could say anything her lips were on his.

If she had been softly killing him before, it now felt like she was breathing life back into him with a single kiss. If he had been slowly descending into the darkness of hell, she was now pulling him back up towards her own blinding light. He let out a soft whimper when she pulled back a little, but then she kissed him again, a little more firmly this time, and he finally managed to wrap his left arm around her waist, his right hand still resting over her heart where she had placed it. His whole body was buzzing with an energy he had not felt in a long time, every nerve screaming at him that he was most definitely alive.

Death would have to wait a little longer after all, it seemed.

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter fourteen: snow on the beach

It would be after sundown when Testament took to the stage under those white lights. The whole entire time that she, Marla, and Belinda stood there on the side of the stage, Sam pictured fake snow to fall upon their heads. False snow to make up for the lack of a gray streak on Alex's head.

They did, however, stand up a small Christmas tree in one corner of the room, upon a ledge which stood high up over the crowd so it wouldn't fall over onto anyone on the floor. She kept her attention on them there in the center of the stage: she couldn't recall the last time they were that intense in their energy. Alex and Eric were tight as they entwined with each other as their guitar strings painted upon the proverbial canvas right over the crowd's heads. Every so often, during the first four songs, Greg held his bass down low before his waist and he smacked the thick heavy strings with the side of his hand and the backs of his knuckles.

That time around, Louie sat in his drummer's stool more upright so he barely moved his head of smoothed out hair about when he gave the other four men before him a rolling groove. He led the way in every part of the set: at one point, Sam swore she saw Zelda right behind him. Right there right next to him with her short bob of black hair as it glistened under the white Christmas lights.

For about a full minute during the song “Eerie Inhabitants”, she recognized a portion of Alex's guitar solo from somewhere. It wasn't until after the fact when she realized that he was quoting Minerva from the Cherry Suicides' song “Dead Witches”. They never launched into a full seven minute jam like they did but she knew that she had to tell them about it once she saw them again.

The titles even felt similar to one another, as if he and Minerva jammed in the same room together when they wrote those songs for their bands. In fact, that would explain why Minerva's guitar solo felt as though she borrowed notes from him. She had her guesses, but nothing that explained any of it in full. Lots of guesses but nothing to help her out and answer those questions.

Within time, they wrapped up that second night in Reseda, neatly and with a little bow on top perfect in time for Christmas time with a ten minute long jam of “Over the Wall”, whereby the whole floor before Chuck and Alex collected into a tight mosh pit that swirled and moved about like a massive whirlpool. Louie and Greg kept going while Alex stood there at the stage's edge with that little red guitar pressed right up against his body.

Every so often, he lifted his head and his disheveled jet black curls sailed over him like the inky tentacles of an octopus. Even in the pale white light and even in the midst of the black hair dye, Sam could envision that little tuft of gray over his brow once more. Much like Minerva, he put one foot up on the amp right before him at one point. He bowed his head right over the strings as he plucked and picked at the strings and kept his hand high up on the guitar neck for a long time.

High contrasted with low. Hidden depths that were there and gone. A contradiction in and of itself, just like Alex himself.

Chuck and Eric stood back as the brightest of the white lights shone over him. Greg sauntered over to him to act as the glue between him and Louie.

And then Sam realized why he wasn't hard to understand, especially to those on the outside looking in.

He just stood there with his head over the guitar and played. Even though he played as though he hailed from a different level in comparison to everyone else, his movements were rather rigid. He had the power and the passion, but nothing to keep people's interest.

She started to wonder if Minerva really was in the same room with him when she wrote “Dead Witches.”

He moved his head back once again and that time she kept her eyes fixated on the side of his neck and the shape of his Adam's apple as it poked out from the interior of his throat. He closed his eyes all the while; Greg bowed his head over his bass guitar and his smooth wavy dark hair dangled over those thick strings.

His presence was there but he had too many buttons left in place.

Louie hit the splash cymbals a few times and Alex set both feet down on the floor underneath him, and Chuck returned to the stage with the microphone firmly in hand.

“Yeah,” he declared right into the microphone's silver head, “yeah, that's right—you can tell he doesn't shoot too many blanks.” A few people in the crowd before them applauded him. “Yeah, that's my little man right over here, Alex Skolnick. Twenty years old and playing like he's been playing about that long! Right next to him is Greg Christian on bass—this is my right hand man Eric Peterson here.” Eric himself rejoined him there at the front of the stage and he gave his smooth inky black hair a little toss back with a flick of his head.

“Behind us is our little power house—Louie Clemente on drums—” Louie hit the splashes twice more. “And I'm Chuck fucking Billy! Yeah!”

They relaunched into the fast pace of the song once again.

“They're gonna fuck the whole world after this,” Marla said right into Sam's ear, such that it caught her off guard.

“Yeah, they are,” Sam agreed with her and with a raise of her eyebrows.

“Just coiled up and rich,” Marla added.

One last “OVER THE WALL!” from Chuck, Alex, Greg, and Eric, and a big crash from Louie, and they each raised their arms up. The crowd erupted into a wall of noise for them.

“Thank you, Reseda!” Chuck bellowed in a broken tired voice. “We love you and Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!” Alex followed up into the accompanying microphone.

“Happy New Year, too!” Eric rounded it out in the same microphone. Louie stood to his feet and he chucked his drum sticks into the crowd out there.

Meanwhile, Sam and Marla stepped out of the way for the five of them. Chuck and Eric hadn't even broken into a sweat the whole entire time, either. Alex ran his fingers through his jet black hair and Sam swore she saw that tuft of gray over his brow again. Louie let out a loud whistle and pressed his hands to his hips.

“Working hard tonight?” Marla joked with him.

“Man—that was brutal,” he said, and he cleared his throat. “Shit, I need a drink.”

Eric came up right behind him, and all the while he muttered something to himself. It took Sam and Marla a second to realize that he was singing a guitar line to himself, such that it caught their attention.

“Whoa,” Marla gasped.

“Huh?” Eric raised his gaze to them.

“Yeah, do that again, Eric,” Sam encouraged him again.

“Duh duh duh de duh—duh duh duh de duh—duh duh duh de duh—”

Alex strode right up to him with his guitar still slung over his shoulder. He lifted the neck and placed his fingers on the strings so he could actually play it for real. Still plugged in and still with the right amount of distortion.

“That riff's enough to make anyone run away from home,” Chuck joked from across the backstage area: he then turned and planted a kiss on Tiffany's lips, given she stood there at the back the whole entire time.

“It's been stuck in my head since that last guitar solo, Alex,” Eric explained.

“Gonna be on the next album?” Marla asked him.

“Hopefully, yeah. We're not gonna be in the studio until February, though.”

“We're gonna be home, too,” Alex added as he pressed his fingers across the guitar's neck and the sound muted away.

“You guys are recording up in the Bay Area?” Sam asked him.

“Hell to the yes,” he replied with a wink. He took the guitar off of his shoulder and he ran his fingers through his hair again. Marla began chatting with Eric about something right then, which in turn gave Sam another chance to speak with Alex again. He raised those dark eyebrows to her.

“Come home with me, Alex,” she whispered to him, to which he stopped right in his tracks. And then he nodded his head in response.

“I have to call my parents, though,” he pointed out.

“Go ahead. I'll be right here.” She adjusted the strap on her purse and he doubled back into the dressing room, the doorway right next to Chuck and Tiffany; she awaited him there with Marla and Eric right behind her and Greg and Louie off to the right. It hit her right then: she was about to take Alex home with her, back to Santa Catalina for one mere night over.

She sighed through her nose and she listened to the audience outside as they filed out of there. She thought about making her way up to the Bay Area at some point in order to visit Ruben and also to sit in with them, that is if she could. She was a friend to them after all, a friend and the first name on their fan club. The only drawback was if she returned to New York for real, it would prove to be a bit of a challenge in finding her way out of there at any given point.

The back door cracked open a little bit and Sam shivered from the cold gust of wind out there. She then felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned to find him right behind her.

“I gotta be home in time for Christmas, though,” he told her.

“Of course. I just wanna show you the new place and I wanna introduce you to my mom, too.”

“You guys taking off?” Chuck called out to them.

“She's taking me down to Catalina,” Alex explained.

“Catalina!” Tiffany declared. “I haven't been there in forever it seems. Have fun, kids.”

Sam gave Marla and Eric both hugs, followed by Greg and Louie, the latter of whom whispered “poison garden” right into her ear.

“Poison garden and right back down to earth again,” she told him with a bump of their fists.

Alex held the door for her and she strode outside to his car there in the alleyway. Even though it wasn't raining or snowing at that point, she could feel the sensation all around her. That heavy moist feeling all throughout the entire Los Angeles area.

Alex shivered under his plain black shirt, and he fumbled with the keys a bit before he unlocked the doors and tucked his guitar case into the back seat, and then he climbed into the driver's seat. Sam spared no expense and joined him there in the passenger seat next to him. He rubbed his hands together and at one point, he clasped them together and blew inside of the palms.

“Been sweating for a little bit,” she noted: indeed, the side of his face had a slight healthy sheen to it from the rush of adrenaline.

“Yeah—just a little bit, though. Not a lot of sweat to go about here—nothing like that of Louie. But enough to gimme a chill, though.”

“Would you like the blanket?” she offered him.

“Nah.” He hesitated for a second. “How's the boat, though?”

“The boat ride? It's heated a little bit there, especially closer to the front bow—but take the blanket, though. You're probably going to need it anyway.”

“Okay—” Alex fired up the car; he was quick to switch on the heater and then he backed out of there. He paused for a second as they reached the alley's end there at the sidewalk.

“What's wrong?” she asked him.

“Just waiting for the light to change.” He craned his neck a bit so he could have a look outside of the back window. “There we go—” Another car passed them from behind and he backed out more and into the street.

He straightened out and he began up the dark pavement. He rubbed his hands again and blew on them some more.

“I don't think it ever gets this cold up in the Bay Area,” he noted. “Jesus, I'm freezing!”

They reached the next stoplight, and Sam thought of reaching behind him for that blanket in question. He shivered and shook under that thin little shirt, but the blast of warm air told her to trust his judgment. She thought about one of the first conversations she had had with Charlie when she first moved to New York, about the snowfalls in Carson City, where it always got so cold at night given the dryness and the snow was so loose and dry as a result, like powdered sugar. At least there in Los Angeles, they had the marine layer float in from the ocean to temper things, but that still gave Alex a deep chill over his body, accentuated by the fact he had been moving about upon a stage for a touch over an hour.

The light turned over to that bright green, which almost glowed through the layer of condensation on the windshield before them.

“Which way do I turn again?” he asked her.

“Right.”

“Right?”

“Right. Right!”

He chuckled at that and then he turned right, and they began the narrow two lane street. Sam knew that would take them all the way to the 405 and then that in turn would take them to the piers down in San Pedro.

“Are you sure you still don't want the blanket?” she offered him at the onramp to the freeway.

“Maybe when we get to the pier,” he told her as he picked up the pace. “I can see that part of the trip being cold as all hell.”

“It really is—even though I sat far away from the boat's edge, it's pretty cold, though.”

He nodded his head at that.

“By the way—about that solo during, 'Eerie Inhabitants' was it? Where it was like ten minutes long—?”

“And like half of it was me soloing and Greg and Louie just keeping the pace for me?” he finished.

“Yeah! Where'd you get the idea for that?”

She took a glimpse over at him. In the dim back glow of the headlights and the lights that lined the freeway, she could look into those deep soulful eyes and the tip of his tongue as he perched it into the corner of his mouth.

“You really wanna know?” he asked her.

“Please.”

“A black woman named Minerva.”

“I had a feeling that was the case!” she proclaimed, and he burst out laughing at that.

“But yeah, she and I were just sitting in the back room in the venue over in Providence—you know, when we were all touring together then—and I was playing some licks and she was following along with me. Next thing I know, we're playing back and forth with each other, and she goes, 'hey, you should make that into a new Testament song' and I was like 'I do that, and you do what we're doing here for the show tomorrow in Boston' and she was like, 'deal!'”

“So that whole jam session during 'Dead Witches' was a bet with you?” Sam couldn't help but laugh at that.

“I wouldn't call it a bet 'cause there was no money involved, but she did it though! She went above and beyond with it, too. We only did it for a couple of moments—you know, she extended it out to like seven minutes. Afterwards, you know in between sets, I walked up to her and I said, 'you trying to humiliate me?' and she goes, 'why would I do that?'”

Sam clapped her hands at that.

“If anything, I lost a bet with her!” he declared.

“Why, 'cause you did it for ten minutes just tonight?” she asked him.

“Nah, because I had that glitch, remember? Kept getting a lot of feedback?”

“Oh yeah, that's right!”

“And she was like, 'I owe you one, Alex' and I was like 'nah, I owe you one, Minerva.'”

She laughed some more.

Soon, they reached San Pedro, which, even though it was still rather early in the night, had buttoned up with nothing more than a few streetlights about the place. He pulled up to the parking lot outside of the pier, and she climbed out first so as to fetch the blanket out of the back for him. He slung his guitar case over his shoulder and the two of them walked onward to the blue and white intimately lit boat that awaited them there.

Alex took his seat on the bench closest to the boat's porthole so he was nestled right inside of a corner.

“As long as this thing doesn't sink, I'll be fine here,” he assured her as he leaned his guitar case against the wall next to him. He leaned forward and she put the blanket around his back and shoulders. He wrapped it tighter around his body and he shivered. She huddled closer to him so he could stay as warm as possible during the whole trip. A little trickle of warm air caressed over her head in the meantime.

The gate to the boat's floor lifted up and the anchor lifted. They were off to the races, off across the waters.

“Twenty two miles,” she told him.

“Twenty two miles of this? Jesus, I'm glad you gave me the blanket.” He shivered and she huddled closer to him. Even though they were tucked in the corner and thus close to the heater, they still rode upon a boat that traversed the Channel in the middle of December.

“You'll like this house,” she told him. “It's cozy and it's—almost like one of those places you see in the Northeast that sell clam chowder.”

“Oh, okay—so like the quintessential beach house,” he said.

“Yeah, exactly!”

The waves crashed down below the bow of the boat, and Alex shivered a bit more against the cold feeling all about them.

“You're from the San Francisco Bay Area, how could you not be used to it?” she scoffed at him.

“I'm not wearing a jacket for one thing,” he explained with a straight face. And then she remembered that he wasn't Joey. “It's also a different climate. Simple.”

Within time, Sam spotted the bright lights of the harbor outside Avalon and she knew that Esmé awaited her just like how she promised her. They soon docked in the harbor and she picked up his guitar case, and she led him off of the boat. There at the far end, with her arms folded across her chest and her body leaned against the side of her car, was Esmé. She nodded at him as they came closer.

Sam glanced over at him and the fact that he swallowed at the sight of her.

“Hello,” she greeted him and he bowed his head at her.

“Alex, this is my mom, Esmé. Mom, this is Alex.”

“The infamous Alex!” She extended her hand to him and she gasped at the sight of his bare arm. “Oh, my goodness, you kids have to be freezing!”

“Yeah, it's—it's pretty cold,” he remarked.

“He just played a show so he got kinda sweaty,” Sam explained as she adjusted the strap on his guitar case.

“Kinda hungry, too,” he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, “you got anything to eat?”

“Plenty to eat at home, so don't you worry about a thing, deary. Sam's father and I have this philosophy that a friend of her is a friend to us.”

Alex took a glimpse over at Sam with his eyebrows raised.

“I like that,” he mouthed to her and she nodded at him.

The three of them piled into her car and Esmé drove them back to the house in the hills that overlooked Avalon. She led them inside and Sam pointed at a framed photograph on the wall closest to the door: one of her father when she was five years old.

“That's my dad, Ruben,” she said.

“Mr. Shelley,” Alex declared as he took the blanket off of his shoulders. “Lives up in the Bay Area now.”

“Sam, your father is going to send you a Christmas present in the next—day or so.”

“Okay—so then I'll have his new addy on hand!”

“Right! Also Alex?”

“Yes?”

“Where should we hold your guitar for the time being?” Esmé gestured to the guitar case, back onto Sam's shoulder.

“Uh—we can keep it close to the door? That is if you don't have any animals running around.”

“Not at the moment, though,” she told him, and Sam leaned the case against the wall, a bit away from the door so it wouldn't fall over onto the floor. Alex folded up the blanket and he set it down on the couch, and then he followed them into the kitchen. Esmé took a bottle of dessert wine out of the cupboard next to the refrigerator.

“Miss Shelley, do you have anything to drink?” he asked her as he and Sam took their spots at the bar behind the counter. “I'm kinda thirsty, too.”

“I have lots to drink—oh, honey, call me Esmé,” she insisted as she rested a hand on the bottle's neck.

“I can't do that, no,” Alex told her with a shake of his head, and Sam chuckled at that.

“I would assume you are,” Esmé said to him, “having played in front of a big crowd of people—you must be starving, too! I just had dinner but you kids can enjoy a bit of spaghetti Bolognese. I can whip some up real quick.”

“My mom makes the best spag Bol, I swear,” Sam whispered to his ear.

“Pour myself a little glass first...”

“How's that?” Sam asked her.

“What the wine?”

“Yeah.”

“It's sweet, but not overly so. Well, it is a dessert wine so it should go with things like the petit fours we had the other day. Things like cakes—”

“A slice of pie?” Alex joined in in a small voice.

“A slice of pie, yes!” Esmé gestured to him and showed Sam a little grin. “I kind of like him, Sam.”

“He does his best,” she replied with a shrug.

“I really do! I really honest to god genuinely do.”

“Would you like a try?” Esmé offered them both.

“I'm only twenty,” Alex told her.

“It's okay—you're in good hands here,” she assured him, and she poured him a small glass of that light pink dessert wine straight from the bottle. Reluctantly, Alex took the glass and took a whiff of the wine inside there. He then took a small sip.

Esmé handed Sam a small glass herself and she tried a sip of it as well.

“It is sweet,” she said, “we're also gonna be here a while, Alex.”

“Kinda like it,” he told her, “and yeah, I definitely wanna eat something now.”

“Okay.” Sparing no expense, Esmé turned to the oven and fired it up to cook up a quick Bolognese for them. Sam swirled her glass as if it was brandy rather than a delicate dessert wine. She propped up her chin in the palm of her hand as she watched her mother cook up some pasta and that rich sauce.

“Hey, it's snowing,” Alex declared.

“It is?” Sam peered out the front window with him: sure enough, a thin fine blanket of white powdery snow covered the manzanita shrubs outside as well as the ponderosas. She ambled across the floor and she took a glimpse up to the dark sky and the lush orange creamsicle color that told them that more was upon them. Against the lights of the harbor and the lights that decorated the street outside, she noticed the fine flakes as they drifted down.

“Never thought I'd see snow on the beach, albeit that on an island,” he confessed as he took one last little sip of the dessert wine.

Soon, Esmé had made them two full plates of the pasta and that hearty homemade sauce, which also had a bit of white wine embedded within: she offered him a piece of garlic toast but he assured her that it was plenty for him. At the point they both finished in unison, Sam downed the rest of the dessert wine and Alex rubbed his eyes a bit more than usual. He had had a long day both of those days, from driving all the way down from the Bay Area and taking Sam to the pier and playing a show, to playing yet another show and joining Sam herself there on the island.

“God, I'm sleepy,” he stated.

“You kids got any room for—a piece of pie?” Esmé asked them with a little smirk on her face.

“I dunno, Miss Shelley,” Alex confessed, “I feel like I'm about to fall right out of this chair and roll on the floor.”

“C'mon, Alex,” Sam encouraged him, “you gotta have enough room in that tum left for my mom's pie. I've seen you eat before, too—you've got a bit of room in that tum.”

“Well, my mom and my grandma both always joked that I have two stomachs,” he noted. He nibbled on his bottom lip and then he stretched his arms up over his head, such that Sam spotted a little sliver of skin on his waist, right out from under his shirt.

“Yeah, I'll have a slice,” he told them.

“Yes!” Sam cheered, and Esmé laughed at that. She served them both a plate of blackberry pie with a dollop of whipped cream on top.

“I feel so spoiled,” Alex confessed as he licked a bit of the whipped cream off of the fork's tines.

“Consider yourself lucky, dear boy,” Esmé told him.

“Yeah, my mom didn't move to Catalina for no reason,” Sam assured him.

“It's the life,” he muttered as he took one last bite of the pie. Indeed, Sam herself found her legs feeling as heavy as lead. Alex propped up his chin in the palm of his hand and he closed his eyes.

“I'm ready for bed,” he confessed.

“There's only one guest bed, though,” she pointed out.

“I can take the couch,” he told her.

“I don't want you to sleep on the couch.”

“Why not? I've slept on a few couches—and I can tell you just looking at it that that is one of the comfier ones I'll have sat my fat butt on.”

Esmé took their plates and Alex stretched again.

“By the way—your fat butt?” she laughed at that.

“Yes! I have a fat butt! Samantha, I may look slim but look at my hips, though. Hips like this on this body? I'm bound to have a fat butt at some point. Probably got one now just sittin' here.”

She climbed off the stool and he spun around and away from the bar's edge.

“I can't get up,” he pled to her.

“You can't get up?” she laughed.

“I can't get up!” he giggled. She extended her hands to him.

“Okay, c'mere—” She grasped her hands onto his and he slid off of the stool. He almost lost his balance and he shuffled a bit like a newborn foal. He leaned against her body: his chest was right there in her face.

“Oh, jeez—” he muttered.

“Oh—hell—” She steadied him right there. His otherwise slender stomach felt so warm and full; he showed her a little smirk.

“Hello,” he said in a low voice.

“Hi,” she returned the favor.

“Yeah, I'll definitely take the couch,” he told her right into her face.

“Get going,” she teased him, and she tapped him right on the seat of his pants with two fingers. He almost stumbled out of there and into the living room.

Sam turned her attention to her mother, who shook her head at her with a smile on her face.

“What?”

“Just like me and that other boy,” Esmé told her in a low voice.

“The guy you were seeing besides my dad?”

She nodded at that, and Sam started to wonder about things as she watched Alex collapse onto the couch, exhausted and very full.

She dared not ask questions about it until he was out of earshot, however. And it would have to wait until the two of them returned to the mainland within a couple of days: Esmé insisted that he stay a bit longer than a single night.

“I'd hate for you to get here and just pick up again on the next boat ride,” she confessed to him over breakfast, “especially since it's such a royal pain for a round trip over here.”

“My parents told me I have to be back up in the Bay Area by Christmas, anyway,” Alex explained to her.

Meanwhile, Sam sat there right next to him at the bar with her cup of coffee in hand and her plate of pancakes right before her, perfectly content. It was right there that she forgot about the whole ordeal with Joey: she watched her mother and Alex converse with one another as if they were good friends. But there were moments in which Esmé had a little glimmer in her eye whenever he said something rather intelligent to her and Sam. A twinkle in her eye and her lips curled up a bit at the sight of him.

She even offered to take the both of them clothes shopping in Avalon, and Sam noticed her checking out Alex's thin lanky body a bit more in the mirrors. At one point, he showed off some new jeans that she offered to buy for him and both women gazed on at his legs and those hips in question. Sam thought about that woman on the train in West Germany, who said he was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen, and she wondered if her mother felt the same way with him.

Every small glimpse such as that happened every day for the next four days, until Sam and Alex returned to the mainland to meet up with Marla, Belinda, and Anthrax over in Long Beach for the first day of winter.

“I guess they had to cancel a couple of shows,” Alex confessed to her as they huddled down in that same corner of the boat, “I dunno that's what Scott told me over the phone before we left.”

“Wait. Scott is back with them?” Sam was stunned.

“I think? He was vague about it, but that's what he said, though.”

Another twenty two miles and they recognized Marla's bright green hair next to Belinda's short blonde locks; behind them were Chuck, Eric, Greg, and Louie, all of them huddled there on the pier like a group of emperor penguins. Someone else stood next to them, someone off to the side.

Sam and Alex filed off the boat; as she came closer to him, the more her heart pounded in her chest.

She couldn't do it with Bill, but she could do it with Joey.

“Hey, you!” he greeted her with that lopsided grin, but she wasn't feeling it at the moment.

“Hey—” She raised a hand and slapped him right across the face. Everyone in Testament gasped at that. Joey gaped at her and then she clenched her fist and socked him right square in the stomach. He bowed forward as if he was about to vomit, but instead he gasped to better catch his breath. He clutched at himself and he looked up at her, baffled, in pain, and out of breath.

“What the—the—what the fuck?” he sputtered.

“You're with another woman!” she demanded.

He opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out. Instead his eyes widened and then he straightened himself into an upright position before her, albeit with a bit of a kink in his back given the pain in his belly.

“I thought you had gone off to another man,” he confessed in a broken voice.

“No!” she said, heated. “Why the hell would I do that?”

“Why else were you movin' out to California with your counselor on a moment's notice?”

“Joey, what he was doing was illegal so Marla and Bel got me out of there. As far as he knows, I screwed luscious Louie back here.”

“What?” Louie himself laughed at that.

“But that's beside the point, though,” Sam continued, unbeknownst to him. “I would never just leave you for anyone, Joey. And I mean that.”

She stormed away from there. She didn't want to see him again. As far as anyone on that pier was concerned, she would make her space official over on Catalina with her mother, and Alex and Testament were all free to visit any time they so wished.

“Sam!” Marla called after her. She whirled around to find her best friend gesturing to the spot behind the pier, over in the park. She walked after her and Belinda, both of whom looked at her stunned.

“Not gonna lie, that was fantastic,” Belinda told her.

“It had to be done, though,” Sam replied with a shake of her head. “Anyways, where are we going?”

“The bus over to Long Beach—Scott's treating us to lunch,” Marla explained. “Gonna be a bit, though.”

Sam turned for another look back at Joey, who moaned and groaned at the feelin.

“God, you really got me there,” he muttered as he rubbed his belly. “But—it's what I get, though. It's what I get for making assumptions.”

“Don't assume anything, Joey,” she scolded him, “especially with me. Alright?”

Fuming, she turned and stalked away from him and towards Eric and Alex, both of whom awaited her there at the railing. Through the veil of fog as it settled over the entire Long Beach area, she spotted the Queen Mary off in the distance, illuminated with twinkling white Christmas lights despite the morning. Alex had a small white pad of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other.

“So where are you now?” Eric asked her.

“Well, right now, I'm over on Catalina at my mom's new place,” she explained, “as Alex will tell you. But Marla and Bel got me back to New York, though. I'm a little divided on both, though.”

“Why's that?”

“Well, because I'm kind of friends with you guys—with Testament now and my parents are both out here. But I also have my friends in Anthrax and of course Marla and Bel, too.”

“The Cherry Suicides, too,” Alex added with a slight turn of his head.

“And the girls, too!”

“Well,” Eric started, “the best thing I can tell you to do, Sam, is to go with whatever you feel like. Go with whatever rings best to you. That was how I went about with starting Testament with my cousin. I was like 'yes! This feels so right, playing in a band.' And that was how we found each other—” He was cut off by something. “Sit tight—” He brushed past her and hurried towards Greg and Louie. “—what're you guys doing?”

Sam then turned to Alex, who never raised his head from the pad of paper.

“Gotta love how the whole place warrants rain and then it just never comes,” he remarked as he shook his head. She folded her arms over the railing and stood right there next to him.

“Right? That's one of the things I miss about New York—when it rains, it rains.”

“One thing I keep seeing,” he said as he flexed his fingers and shifted his weight, “especially when I flick on the news report anymore is—do you know what climate change is?”

“I'm afraid I don't, no,” she admitted with a shake of her head.

“It's this concept where—we as a species have advanced so far along in our technology that we pollute the earth past the point of no return. You lived in New York—I'm guessing you know the whole thing about the East River.”

“It's scary polluted,” she said.

“Until recently anyway, they started cleaning it up and taking better care of that water because it was getting that bad. That's just one example, too. They've found this whole thing where exhaust from cars and even from houses and cities go up into the atmosphere and pollute it there. When there's air pollution, there's a lot of heat.”

“Explains why oleanders grow like weeds down here,” she followed along and she recalled the idea for the poison garden. “It gets so hot here.”

“They call it the 'greenhouse effect',” he continued, “Metallica recently did a song with that in mind, and I kinda wanna do something similar to that, too. Theirs is called 'Blackened'.”

“I've heard that!” she declared. “It's on their new album.”

“It's the opener and the one that starts out with the bass ackwards guitars, too.”

“Wait, those guitars are backwards?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “Yeah, you didn't know that?”

“No, I thought that was just Kirk playing around with his pedals or something.” Alex chuckled at that.

“Yeah, he kinda was, though—you're actually not far from the truth with that.” He took the pencil out from behind his ear and he scribbled down something on the pad of paper.

“What'cha writing?” she asked him.

“I just keep thinking about the little encounter you had with Joey back there—how you pick yourself up off the ground after something like that. I'm also thinking about—” He peered over his shoulder to ensure that no one eavesdropped on them, and then he returned to her, and he bowed his head closer to her. “Before he met Tiffany, Chuck went out with a girl who was trapped in an abusive relationship.”

Sam gasped at that.

“Really?”

“I was the first person he told it about, too,” he added in a low voice, “so—I dunno if he'd be okay with me telling you this, either.”

“Well, I can keep secrets, though,” she assured him.

“Well—apparently this girl saw an escape with him, but she couldn't click with him or some shit. So she went back to the guy and I guess he didn't take that break up too well. Chuck felt like he could've saved her from it, but he didn't, though.”

“That explains why you guys were so adept at getting me away from Bill,” she said in a soft voice.

“Because Chuck couldn't do it the first time around. So he was like 'hold up a minute—here's another chance at that.' So now, here I am with this paper pad. Time to write something about it.”

“And now there's Joey in the mix,” she added as he scrawled down a few spare lyrics.

“There's Joey—and the fact he went off with someone else. And now it's time for you to heal your soul. And it's New Year's, too, so it couldn't be a more appropriate time for that.” He frowned at the paper pad and knitted those eyebrows together.

“I'm gonna have to run this by him, to be perfectly honest with you, Samantha,” he confessed. “It's such a strange concept to me—like I'm on the outside looking in—but it's something I genuinely feel, especially with you in the picture.”

“Do you at least have a title for this opus?” she asked him, but he never flinched at that. Instead, he wrote, in large neat letters at the top of the paper, “THE BALLAD”. And he flashed her a thoughtful look.

“There it is,” she said.

“There is is,” he echoed her, “plus you were rubbing my butt last night. I might as well jump high.”

"Wait a minute, I was?"

"Yeah. You were asleep but you were doing it."

"Are you sure it was me?"

"Positive." Sam squinted her eyes at that. She was out like a light the night before. As far as she knew, too, sleepwalking wasn't a problem with her.

Before she could say anything else, he turned his attention to the stretch of sideway right behind him. “Hey, Chuck!”