#especially professor self sacrifice

[commissionsdarian]

Haha holy shit, we are so in the deep end

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Top Career Tips To Set Yourself Up For Success

Figure out where your skills and passions align. Then determine the lifestyle/work culture you thrive in and what sacrifices you're willing to make in your chosen career path (for some, it's always traveling/talking to people 24/7, working late hours, unpredictable/unconventional hours, potentially lower pay/less predictable income, etc.). It truly depends on your top values, your personality, and your goals/priorities in life.

First focus on getting incredibly talented at your craft. Find a mentor(s) who will push you with their feedback/suggestions. Take classes/skills courses/read books & articles to gain more applicable knowledge/hard skills. Join clubs, apply to internships, volunteer, and request informational interviews in your desired field.

Make your skills marketable. Create a professional resume and/or neat portfolio/collection of work samples. Discover and articulate your USP (that should essentially serve as the backbone of your elevator pitch). Frame your skills through a customer/business-centric lens. How does your experience/skillset solve their problems and help a company/client achieve their goals?

Build a network for yourself. Don't be shy to reach out to companies/individuals who inspire you. Speak with your secondary school teachers and professors for connections. Create peer-to-peer networks, too, so you can grow together. Be a fearless networker and connector. Help others, do favors, and make the person glad they met/hired you. Make it your objective to be memorable through your work ethic/providing high-quality work products and showing up with a motivated & overall positive attitude allows people to like and trust you with their time, clients, money, etc.

Master the art of a killer email/cold pitch. Especially in today's world, learning how to sell yourself through intriguing emails/LinkedIn messages is the key to unlocking potential success. One client or opportunity can create momentum that will be useful years down the line, too.

When in doubt, follow up – on an email, pitch, job opportunity, connection, etc.

Be ruthless and relentless with your research. For new contacts, connections, opportunities, and information to support your pitches/job interviews/networking conversations, new technologies, and trends within your field. Read everything credible you can get your hands on. Display working knowledge and practical applications of these concepts and how they can benefit the person in front of you/their business.

Create systems. For how you structure emails/pitches, conduct research, different types of workflows/ work template structures for different types of projects, time-blocking, client funnels, etc.

Get comfortable with rejection. Use it as a primer for self-reflection and refining your craft/processes or help you pivot your approach to help you achieve your goals. Never take business decisions on behalf of a company personally (and vice versa).

Give yourself breaks, but don't give up. Tapping out for good is the only surefire way to fail at an endeavor. Be flexible in your path, but zeroed in on your goal(s). Learn when to quit or pivot, and when it's time to coast or seek growth.

[working-dreamer]

The Person Within: An Analysis Of Professor Layton's Hidden Character Development

Spoilers for practically all of the Layton games!

Hershel Layton as a character is sometimes criticized outside of the fandom for having no personality other than his gentlemanly nature and taking the concept of enjoying puzzles to the extreme.

While I think this criticism shows a blatant misunderstanding to his character, I do think from a different angle that perspective makes Professor Layton more interesting.

Think about it. Most of his personality is taken from the tragedy of those around him. Randall was the one who was originally obsessed with archaeology and puzzles. Claire was the one who originally perceived Hershel as a gentleman (thus giving him the idea.) We don’t really see Layton take these aspects of his personality onto himself until tragedy strikes and these people are taken away from his life.

In the case of Randall's death, Hershel blamed himself for surviving and moved out of town because of his self-loathing and guilt. And when Claire disappeared Layton paused his studies for an unknown amount of time trying to find out what happened until he was beaten into a coma by a group of people associated with her death.

And yet instead of grieving like you’d normally expect from a person who lost his best friend and girlfriend, he internalized their interests and aspects of their personalities into himself. He wears their passions and dreams as his own to remember them. In a way, he’s always reminding himself that he couldn’t save them.

However one might wonder how Layton really feels about those things outside of his previous losses. Does Layton even enjoy archeology and puzzles? Or is it something he has grown to accept in his life simply because he is living out Randall’s dream? Does he feel like he has a choice in the matter?

I can easily imagine Layton having doubts deep within himself: Randall didn’t get to live and it’s my fault. His dreams should live on. I don’t deserve anything else.

Same with Claire. She saw him as a gentleman but he certainly didn’t feel like one after her disappearance if his memory of events is to be taken seriously. How long did it take for him to turn into the perfect gentleman? Especially if it's just a painful reminder of her loss?

It’s probably after waking up from his coma that he starts to really embrace the idea that he has to be the perfect gentleman because he knows he can never get her back. So all he can do is embrace what she thought of him before she died. So with all of this in mind is Layton’s gentlemanly persona genuine to who he is as a person? Or is it just a persona created in order to keep her memory alive?

Layton has kept the shadows of his lost loved ones close to his heart for years and probably would have always done so had he never gotten any closure. However, when Randall turned out to be alive Layton now has the opportunity to let go of that guilt. Claire came back in the future momentarily and Layton got to say goodbye. He no longer needs to keep their personal traits as his own.

So why does he still embody Randall's passion for archeology and puzzles and Claire's perspective that he's the perfect gentleman?

I think it's because Layton doesn't know who he is without these borrowed parts of his personality. Without those aspects that he adopted into himself… who is Hershel Layton? Deep down he is someone who has silently mourned his loved ones and repressed those emotions. And yet most of his life has been embodying said grief. It makes me wonder if Layton would ever look deep within himself and realize that he doesn’t have anything to claim as his own. His entire personality revolves around past guilt and trauma from people he loved and lost.

Shoot even his name isn’t his own! Hershel Layton was actually the name belonging to his brother and in a moment of sacrifice switched names so our Layton could be adopted. So our Layton loses the only family member he has left without even knowing who that is for the majority of his life!

So we have a man who feels guilt and remorse for the deaths of his best friend and his girlfriend so he doesn’t allow himself to develop his own interests and personality because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be his own person. It's even implied that he believed for a time that he didn't deserve to be the one who survived the events that killed his best friend and girlfriend. And then adding to the fact that he never knew his real family so he most likely felt a different kind of loss by not knowing where he came from. All and all we find a man that feels alone and tries to make it right by embodying the traits of those he cared about.

We don’t get to see Layton develop his thoughts on all of this but we do see an interesting development later on. I’d like to think that Layton slowly began to heal after his adventures thanks to adopting Katrielle in the anime.

This is because, for the first time in Layton’s life, he had a family to look after. Someone who doesn't need a mystery-solving archeologist or a perfect gentleman detective. Someone who doesn't need the grand "Professor Layton." This little girl just needs someone to be her father and, while he tries his best, he doesn't really know how to do that.

Sure he had a familial relationship with Luke and Flora, but he never called himself their father. I don’t think he allowed himself that privilege because of all the self-loathing he had been dealing with before. When he adopts Kat it feels like it’s the first time we see Layton truly allowing himself to be a father figure. And yet he is still uncertain about if he should be the one in this role.

Layton feels like his adopted daughter should know where she came from (something he didn’t get to have) before he can start thinking of himself as a father. He’s scared that if he gets attached then it'll hurt worse when she eventually returns to her own family should she decide that is her wish. But if he finds her family first then he doesn’t have the go through that heartache. He wants to find them first so she can make an informed decision.

And he says this with the logic that he always had as “Professor Layton” with that calm and collected smile. Notice that he says "I want to solve this puzzle so that we can become a true family." He doesn't say "so that we will become a true family." It’s almost as if he is going to let Kat decide if she wants to stay with him or go back to her real parents and that choice will be up to her. However, it's somewhat implied that he already thinks that she would naturally choose her real parents if she had the opportunity.

Despite his wishes to be her father, he still seems to be internally preparing himself to say goodbye (hence why he disappeared for so long in the first place.) He just doesn’t want to get too close to another person only to lose them and suffer alone again.

It makes sense why he is distancing himself, but he’ll still solve the mystery. It's what “Professor Layton” would do and he’ll have to accept whatever happens once Kat learns the truth. He doubts that she would still see him as her dad if she could be with her real parents. He doesn't even know himself outside of the role of "Professor Layton" so how can he be a true father to her? She'll go away with her real family eventually anyway. Why would anyone choose him?

And yet when he sees her again Layton is surprised when she immediately cries out for him. She still calls him papa. She wants him to be her papa.

In a public display of overwhelming emotion, we see Layton openly weep for the first time. He is so overcome by these emotions and for once doesn't repress them. He's just so happy to see his daughter again (to truly call Kat his daughter again) and allows himself to fully express those feelings for perhaps the first time in decades.

If Layton from the original game trilogy saw himself like this he would have been mortified by this “un-gentlemanly” behavior. His mindset back then was that a gentleman never cries because he has trouble coming to terms with his emotions. He even chastised Luke in Unwound Future because “a gentleman never makes a scene in public.”

However, he was never a gentleman for himself. It was always for holding onto the guilt of losing his loved ones while trying to honor their memories at the same time. But he doesn’t have to hold himself to those impossible standards anymore. He no longer blames himself for their deaths, he found closure, and now he has found himself in a family who chooses to love him not because of those attributes “Professor Layton” embodied, but because she loves him for the person hidden under that persona. And that is enough for Layton to openly weep as he embraces his child.

I believe Kat's words here helped Layton more than she'll ever know.

So who is Hershel Layton if he’s not a gentleman or a fan of archeology?

The solution to that puzzle is really quite simple.

He is a caring person. And that’s all he ever needs to be.

[ihopeinevergetsoberr]

the counterpart

chapter 3 — and there’s affection to rent

rating: explicit. i’m sensing a smut chapter approaching.

word count: 2,5k

pairing: viktor x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

cw: 90s au. they’re still playing chess, drinking, smoking, cussing, fucking (not yet, but eventually) and doing all the things you’re not allowed to read about if you’re not old enough. this chapter is just… pure dialogue and (not so subtle anymore) sexual tension, and i finally revealed their majors (took me long enough). consider this part a teaser. yeah.

ao3 link

part 4

—

What’s the most important thing one learns in college if their major is painfully tasteless? Especially if said one is a lost girl — all ambitions, but no actual possibilities, kidneys so done with your rebellious acts of liquor consumption they might fail you much earlier than they did Bobby Fisher?* 

Your professors taught you how to come up with an intriguing title. How to make sure your column is the most eye-catching on the whole page. How to journal properly, and how to not be a pussy when you’re interviewing someone hard-talk style — taught you how to bend over people and for people.

Those were petty things. Undoubtedly crucial for your education, yet still petty. They didn’t teach you how to live. They just made you sleazy and more sleep-deprived. The first trait could still be put to a good use, though. 

But college? Oh, college taught you how to live. Not the beautiful concept of being a part of it, but the campus itself, specifically the dorms — your self-proclaimed, crude lectors. They showed you everything you needed to know: from friendly faces coated in thick smoke on the tiny balcony, to sweaty ones, all rolled out tongues and glassy eyes — the disgusting art of bathroom quickies. 

But most importantly?

College taught you there are five types of men you have to stay away from: bishops, knights, rooks, cowards (kings) and pawns (your favorite ones to devour). 

Bishops are mouthy. They’re harsh — vile, even. Greedy heartbreakers, easily irritable when something refuses to get out of their oblique, grabby path. Mediocre in bed: unnecessary rough, redundantly rude in dirty talk. Terrified of any feeling that doesn’t involve hatred or malice. Smartasses (in a bad way). Pass. 

Knights are immature. They have potential — a contentious one, to be frank, yet it’s still there, slightly palpable in their endless promises and occasional gentlemanly habits. They’re deeply insecure — self-conscious, even, always underestimating their power. A good base for raising the perfect partner — if only you have the patience to spare, that is. Not as unbearable in bed as the previous category. Sometimes they cook great breakfast the morning after.

Rooks are superior. Straightforward, yet humorless; good listeners, yet awful comforters — oh that constant lack of the golden mean, the complete inability to lie. They’re reliable, but not fun to sleep with. Not fun to date either — it’s almost like these men paired for life, invariably with someone as insufferably stable as their stoic demeanor. You still liked them though; but only as a rare, handsome dainty — an audience perfectly suited for your drunken monologues. 

Kings and pawns are not worthy of being elaborated on. Skittish and obedient, former ones too selfish in bed, ladder ones too pathetically down bad. Finita la commedia. 

In conclusion: one should play with those pieces, yet strictly avoid committing to them — to save the tears when you make an invariable sacrifice. 

That thought spun inside your head — doomed and stupidly petulant, recycling itself slowly to a flavourless overchewed gum on the convex surface of your tongue, persistently threatening to jump out of your mean mouth any second. You wondered — shamefully, with an almost shy tredipation, — how would Viktor react to this  incredible wisdom of your creation, how comical — or plausible, perhaps? would he find this metaphorical conclusion to be? 

But you refrained from revealing it to him just now. No, you couldn’t care less about invoking a potential little discussion — not when he’d just returned to the still equipped with a chess board desk, and certainly not when your hand was settled so perfectly into the tender grasp of his. A set of longer, paler fingers twined oh so cautiously around your wrist, securely preventing it from any occasional twitches. Tending to your wound with special gentleness — as if he was constructing a fragile weapon, a thing dangerous enough to explode all over the place if he treats it with something bolder than a ghost of a touch. So concentrated: he pressed the tiny piece of cotton to the bloody mess under what once used to be your nail; shushing you softly when you flinched, feeling the saline lance right through the weak digit. 

“Stay still for me, would you?” Viktor frowned, carving an angry little stroke into the back of your palm — a firm affection just for you to giggle about. The ambience around him didn’t resemble the one libraries usually possess anymore. It was an appointment now, and you adored the way he turned the place into a makeshift clinic with just a few quickly grabbed from the pharmacy trinkets. 

“For you?” you pulled a taunt — an innocent one, yet utterly unsubtle in its intentions. 

“Well, I’m your doctor,” he wreaked vengeance with a playful protest, elegantly twisting your implication. A reciprocation, of sort; a playful thing returning every single one of your tortuous undertones. “It’s only natural that you listen to the professional’s recommendations.” 

He wasn’t clueless anymore. He wanted to proceed. He begged to proceed, actually; grazed your forearm approbatory and dull, then dared to crawl into the sleeve of your shirt. Just the briefest presence of fingertips under the cloth — peak intimacy only a library could provide. 

“But I’m not quite deceased yet, and last time I checked — you were a mortician,” — a shot back, witty and precise. Had him chuckling warmly as you raised your head, allowing the copper to meet your irises with a playful tingle. 

“Believe me, I can be versatile,” Viktor assured, only giving you half a tease to work with, to unravel. Submitting his gentle touch and returning to the medical one instead, carefully pulling out a patch out of his pocket after a short session of rummaging around.

“Oh, I already figured that much,” you allowed him to lead — both literally and figuratively, careless about the way he victoriously pointed out the flush on your face — barely as crimson as the disaster he cleaned up for you, yet still pleasantly noticeable. 

That boy was no usual rook, knight or bishop of yours. Needless to mention something as fearful as a pathetic king.

There was something slightly pawn-like about him though — but you didn’t hate it like you normally would. You didn’t mind a little submission. You adored it. You wanted him at your mercy. Erotically so, to be precise. As if him wrapping a patch around your swollen finger isn’t erotic enough already.

Although it wasn’t mercy that made him care for you. 

It was tenderness. A thing all the five-types-one-should-avoid were not capable of on their own. 

Viktor broke the silence with a strangled little cough. 

“It might ruin your nail-polish,” he warned, eyes flickered between you and already tinted with a humble red spot patch. 

“As if there’s any nail left to apply the polish to,” you hissed, wincing at the sharp sensation stinging that sensitive piece of skin — no doubt staining the fresh little rag even more. Viktor tried to ease your suffering with an almost friendly pat on your shoulder. 

What a way to ruin the eroticism. 

“A tragedy, if you ask me,” he whispered, short and sweet, with a contrite little sigh, “you messed up a perfectly nimble hand.” 

“You don’t know the first thing about compliments, do you, Viktor?” you pricked back, harmless and waggish; a careless, erratic thing, — already too far gone to stop those lively amber eyes from scanning you with terrified unease: had he said something stupid? Had he failed in humoring you? 

You pulled him firmly straight out of the paralysis of his distress, fingers yanked gently at his to put them — now skittish and a little tense — back into an intertwinement with yours, demanding they linger there, safe and tender. 

“I’m getting there,” he budged, slowly growing less fidgety against your touch, “Forgive me, I’m yet to master the art of courting.” 

“I’m fucking with you,” you reminded handily. Watched him form a theatrical little scoff, but his teeth betrayed him, leaping out in an impish smile. 

“Of course you are. You journalists love to torment people,” Viktor nodded, slightly tickling the underside of your palm with a relaxed swipe of a thick-skinned thumb. 

You didn’t take it personally. You didn’t fancy your major enough to get defensive. 

You didn’t question how exactly he found out about it either. His answer — tanned, handsome and talkative — was most likely rotting in bed right now, still half-alive from his birthday black-out even though it’s been literal days. Besides: if Viktor were to ask how did you find out that he’s an exceptional future engineer or that he’s a winner of multiple open chess championships — you’d send him straight back to Jayce too. The source was obvious. 

“You know what I’m majoring in? Did you make a dossier of my poor persona?” you chose that torment instead. At his service, you gave the man precisely what he’d requested.

A thoughtful one, a pretty disgrace at his whim. 

He should’ve been more careful with his desires. 

“You’re not a project of mine to keep a dossier for you,” he reproached smoothly. “Unless…” his tongue clicked in thick suspense, “you’d allow me to make one. For collecting kompromat, of course — a procedure every opponent should adhere to.” 

“Kompromat?” 

“Yes, kompromat,” Viktor confirmed, unaltered. 

“But I’m innocent,” — a cheeky lie, blatantly obvious. Had him squeezing your hand to prevent you from sliding out of his grasp, all too tight for a man that shrinked into a handsome flustered mess at your first attempt to crawl under his pale skin. Perhaps he simply took his sweet time in comprehending that he’s allowed to be vengeful. 

“A cruel woman, mercilessly flirting with her opponents to bribe them into resignation?” he deadpanned, evidently pleased with a newly established privilege of savoring your touch for however long he pleased. “What’s innocent about that?” 

“I’m not trying to bribe you into resignation!” you sneered, now defensive. Pulling away to watch him sigh at the loss of you in his palm — but he didn’t chase after you. Viktor backed off, bitter and respectful, leaving you with just the aftermath of his touch and a blood-stained patch tightly wrapped around your phalanx. 

“You‘re not?” he whispered, suddenly reminded of the library’s policies. 

You soothed him with a nod, following the trajectory of his wandering eyes. Pushing the amused hum back into your mouth as Viktor forced his sleeve to roll up, exposing a worn down watch. Apparently also reminded that he does not, in fact, belong just to you this Friday. 

“I would use more… radical methods if I aimed to bribe you into anything at all,” you laughed out a raspy sound, no doubt feasting upon the way he stirred, wrapping that food for thought with him to go. 

“How reassuring,” he murmured back, brushing his upper lip in a pensive, fleeting lick, eyes darting to your still full of unfinished business board. 

“You’re leaving?” you mumbled rhetorically, hating just how desperate that came out. 

“I’m afraid so, yes,” Viktor mused, reluctantly grabbing the clocks he brought with him, “but I still have to show you the draw. If only we could arrange another meeting.” 

“But we weren’t recording our moves,” you groaned at the silly oversight, watching him rise heavily to his lanky legs, stretching above you into a tall pretty sight. “I don’t trust my memory to that extent.” 

“Well, I do,” he objected, nestling his hand into the arched hilt of his cane, preparing to leave you — lonesome and terribly lacking his calming presence — in the legendary place of your duel. Making a bitter, sad-eyed mess out of you — a devastated subject abandoned in the filled with the smell of yellow pages air. 

But you weren’t exactly known for your unlimited patience. If anything, it was the other way around — you wanted him to indulge you now, to turn on those heels of his and sink back down in his squeaky chair, letting you devour his genius as fervently as you pleased — oh the price you’d pay to dive into his mind, to watch him think, and defeat, and conquer. 

“How does your schedule look on Sundays?” you uttered before your restless brain got the chance to turn it into an overthinked burden. A brave one — you had your eye on him and were determined to make it abundantly clear. 

And Viktor, albeit still discreet, was determined to reciprocate. 

“Normally — not eventful,” he laughed, delaying his departure to spare you one more sweet glance, “but this Sunday I’m playing chess with a remarkably persistent lady. As long as she’ll have me, of course.” 

He gawked at you with the repartee of a complete wiseacre, and you flinched with a giddy giggle, secretly hoping he’d emphasized that last part — or somehow specified it to prevent your mind from spiraling into all the different ways you could have him in. Oh the bitter consequences of being a smartass: sass is contagious and you poisoned him with it, dooming whatever boundaries and clarity this man had possessed before making your acquaintance. 

But it also meant the world was now your oyster. And you took the opportunity by its slender, practically paper-white neck — so far only figuratively, but you wouldn’t be opposed to turning it into something gentle and tangible: if only he consented to it, of course.

“Sunday it is, then. My room, if you’re comfortable?” you suggested, pushing it half-cowardly. 

“I’m not allowed in that part of the dorm,” he marveled at the bold offer, yet his response didn’t imply any objections. 

“And you intend to stick to that?” 

“Of course not.” 

“Then it wasn’t even worth mentioning. Room 505, it’s the one on the second floor…”

“What if I get lost?” 

“Say my name to any freshman-looking girl and they’ll walk you straight to my very door.” 

“Do you have a reputation I should worry about?” 

“Do you ever stop asking irrelevant questions?” you finally snapped, two steps away from turning a gentle neck-grip you fantasized about earlier into a cold-blooded murder in the middle of a college library. “I write essays to earn extra-cash, if you’re that curious. People around the campus know me. Now, back to more urgent matters: please, don’t show up before ten in the morning. No, scratch that — eleven is even better. I like to sleep in on Sundays.” 

Viktor listened to you carefully — with the perception of a responsible server, almost ready to scribble down your every complex instruction, only lacking a salute and a devoted ‘yes, ma’am’ to complete the procedure. 

“It’s been a while since I looked forward to play someone,” he’ll confess to you on his way out of the building, failing to hold that shy thing in the unreliable prison of his gritted teeth, leaning on that thin cane with the whole heavy essence of his trembling audacity. A test he dared to run only before slipping away from that wide-eyed state of yours, escorted by a row of now painfully familiar to you clacks of metal against the concrete. 

And later, when that hot summer day will slowly melt into a hot summer night; when you’ll abandon the comforter of your bed to stick out of the window, half-naked and positively enraged; when you’ll smoke your third cigarette of the hour to tame the riot of aroused nerves — you’ll think about him, and about chess, and about the things chess made you want to do to him. 

—

notes: 

*Bobby Fisher — a grandmaster, the only American chess player to defeat soviet players at the time. Died of kidney failure at the age of 64. 

tags: @zaunitearchives @blissfulip @thehistoriangirl @queen-of-elves @vyshnevska

[ouatsnark]

CaptainSwan has an abusive marriage because Hook was a villain. DEBUNKED.

I had a request on X formerly known as Twitter to debunk the below CaptainSwan hate. I think I have covered all of this before but I thought I might remind the Regina Apologists that if you use these arguments against CaptainSwan you’re a raging hypocrite. So yes, this is going to be another “but what about your ship” post just for the purpose of pointing out the hypocrisy.

So buckle up CSers and let’s dive into another installment of “WTF did that Regina apologist just say!?”

Proof of Emma & Killian’s Abusive Marriage?

Apparently Emma is doomed to a life of abuse, because according to Regina Apologists, Killian has a history of abusing Emma:

Hook physical assaulted Emma: Body Slamming, Shoved, abused other women too (villain Hook)

Hook sexual assaulted Emma and other women (false)

Hook attempted to kidnap Emma’s son (a swing & a miss)

Hook has poor communication skills (writing trope, stfu)

Hook has a drinking problem (HAD. therefor head canon)

Hook is rude to Emma’s mother (shower remark) and Henry (ONE TIME. You’re never rude to anyone?)

Hook shifts blame from himself to Emma (ONE TIME if you even want to count this & it’s about killing David’s father & he corrected himself)

Hook made Emma co-dependent as she was willing to let her parents die and her brother become an orphan (What is this even? Is it the Under World trip? But Henry isn’t mentioned… I think they got their Regina list confused with the Killian list.)

Hook treated her like trash, manipulated & lied to her, put her down, especially when angry (Villain/DO Hook)

Hook jumped off a roof just to get Emma to talk to him (get over it losers)

Hook is Professor of Moodiness 101 (What is that even? They didn’t have enough bullet points I guess)

Hook thinks family and friends are possessions but Emma’s loved ones are threatened by Killian?? Tried to maliciously kill Emma’s family and friends (more Villain/Dark Hook & he apologized, went to hell and was tortured)

What about the future of Regina & Emma's toxic friendship (cause canonically that's all that existed)?

Regina physically assaulted Emma and plenty of other people too.

Regina sexually assaulted Graham AND y’all seem to think “taste my forbidden (poison) fruit” is sexual.

Regina abused Emma’s son, tried to turn him against her and then attempted to kidnap him (she was evil so she had no rights, please understand this)

Regina has a self-centered, wont listen to anyone else, attitude problem

Regina also has poor communication skills

Regina is rude to Emma’s family and friends ALL OF THE TIME. So not just once like Killian. But All the time.

Regina was the one that actually let Emma’s parents sacrifice themselves in S6 for her instead of being a true hero.

Regina actually treated Emma like garbage before and after her supposed redemption (Regina lied, manipulated, used, insulted, degraded and dismissed Emma all 6 seasons)

Regina used the dagger to hurt Emma and tried to force Emma to tell her secrets that Emma didn’t want to share with Regina

Regina murdered Emma’s wish parents in front of her & no amount of begging made her stop (she still failed)

Regina destroyed Emma’s life and was the one to actually try and murder Emma and her parents on multiple occasions AND SHE DOES NOT REGRET IT.

If things that Villain Hook and the Hook consumed by Darkness did is proof that redeemed Killian Jones will abuse Emma Swan then the exact same can be said for Regina Mills. And Regina was never consumed by darkness. I know you all like to pretend that Dark Hook was the “Real Hook” but it wasn’t and you need to get over that. The darkness controls & manipulates its host but you’d know that if you looked at Rumple or even watched Season 5.

So are we done using these as reasons Emma and Killian will have an abusive marriage? Because obviously if SwanQueen had ever been a thing then they would have an extremely abusive partnership if we apply this same logic to them. Actually, Regina is more likely to abuse Emma than Killian Jones because between the two of them my list is more accurate for her and she has history of domestic violence (Graham, Snow, Henry, King Leo, her father). And the fact that Regina is an abusive “friend”.

But OUATSnark, all of these one time things add up! Yeah, we’re human beings. Our mistakes tend to do that. That’s why circumstances, context, intent and patterns and responses matter. So let’s break these down one by one shall we? I will be throwing Rumbelle into the mix just in case any Rumbellers out there wanna agree with the Regina Apologists.

Physical Assault

CLAIM: Hook physically assaulted Emma by body slamming her and shoving her. He also physically abused other women.

CORRECTION! Emma and Hook physically assaulted each other. Kinda. Is this what the kids are calling sword fights these days? This happened when Hook was a villain. When Emma and Hook were on opposing sides. Yes, they had a sword fight. Things happen during a sword fight. You know how that ended? He got a rock to the face. Way to go Emma! That was also after she betrayed him. Way to not listen to your literal inner voice, Emma. And yes, Hook gave her a little shove out of the way to get to Rumple. All of this happened when they were still enemies.

Neither Hook nor Emma touch each other in a violent way once he is on his path to redemption and aside from them being literally consumed by evil. Them as dark ones is not a measuring tool for how they are since they’re no longer consumed by evil.

Other abuse: Yes, Hook was a villain. He had victims that were women. He had victims that were men, too. The women victims, however, weren’t victims because they were women or because he was seeking to control them in a relationship so that does not mean he’d be an abusive husband. He was an equal opportunist villain. Please check his EQUAL partnership with Milah as more proof he is not a domestic abuser. Just because someone commits one kind of crime doesn’t mean they commit all kinds of different crimes. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

So why is all of this a problem now that Hook’s redeemed? It’s not a problem unless you hate CaptainSwan because you (wrongly) think Hook ruined your chances at your actual abusive toxic ship because…

Regina was physically abusive to Emma before her redemption:

She tried to poison Emma, twice (S1)

Threw her down a driveway (S2 when Emma rightly called Henry “HER SON”)

Punched her (S1 over Graham)

Choked her (S2 trying to stop Emma from getting in the way of turning Cora into a DO)

So Regina also has a history of being physically abusive to Emma when they were still enemies. I guess that means Swanqueen would have a terribly abusive marriage too, then, right? Or are you a double standard hypocrite? For the record, I don’t think the above is proof she undoubtedly would be. However…

Oh but wait, Regina was physically abusive to Emma AFTER her redemption:

Regina used the dagger to control Emma and LIKED that it hurt Emma. This is only significant because Regina reveled in hurting Emma with that dagger. She didn’t even apologize or care either. In fact she thought it was great that she made Emma thank her. That’s just abusive behavior. I’m sorry. When you hurt someone you love you apologize even if it’s an accident. And you sure as hell do not do it again then demand being thanked!

She used that dagger to torture Emma into revealing truths to her that Emma didn’t want to tell her. Regina might have been trying to help but she continued when an obviously hurting Emma BEGGED her to stop. Regina ultimately failed. But if Hook’s past is a reason you claim he’ll physically hurt Emma in the future then this is definitely a sign that Regina will push Emma past her breaking point if Regina wants something from her bad enough. Fair is fair, y’all!

Regina then murdered Emma’s wish parent’s in front of her Emma’s anguish didn’t even phase Regina. Again she pushed Emma past her breaking point and didn’t stop. SHE DID NOT STOP. Because Regina wanted to be the hero by any means necessary and she still failed! Emma’s pain is what brought Killian out of the darkness. Regina just kept on going!

Other abuses: Aside from all the murder, she choked a village child, abused her knights, tortured people and goodness knows what other things during her years of Tyranny. So. Yes, Regina likes to abuse people. She abused Belle after her redemption and didn’t care. She verbally abused young August (yes, she snapped under pressure but she is rude to someone at least every episode).

But do you know what Regina’s big red flag is? She forced Graham to have a relationship with her then killed him for rejecting her.

So which one is more likely to domestically abuse Emma and force her into a relationship? Hook or Regina? Regina has a history of domestic abuse so the answer would be Regina.

And for you Rumbellers out there that think Rumbelle had a beautiful marriage, lets remind you that Rumple was physically abusive to Belle:

Shook her

Threw her in a tower & locked her away

Put her in a sleeping curse

Uh oh looks like Rumbelle is going to be a highly physically abusive marriage! But wait, we already knew that. At least those of us without blinders on.

Newsflash y’all the enemies to lovers ships have a history of fighting. Shocker. But the only one to come to physical abuse AFTER redemption was SwanQueen. Therefor if you ship SwanQueen you shouldn’t be saying “CaptainSwan’s marriage is violent because of stuff that happens when they’re enemies”. And if you ship Rumbelle you should just stop talking all together.

Sexual Assault

CLAIM: Killian kissed Emma without her consent! He’s a pirate! All pirates rape! And he’s admitted to getting women drunk to rape them!

Do I have to say this again? Killian was trying to break a curse. The writers were paralleling them with Snowing. Just get over it!

And no, just because he was a pirate that doesn’t make him a canon rapist. You want to fanon him as one? That’s sick but it’s your right. But your fanon is not proof of canon.

And those words were not in that EF pub scene, that is not what that scene was about, and Emma has NO REACTION? Please just exercise some honesty and use some brain cells, I beg you!

Besides, If Hook is a sexual abuser because of the attempted true love kiss then so is David. If we follow this logic then surely he assaults Snow on a nightly basis, right? This isn’t meant to be a strawman argument… I am just trying to point out the hypocrisy. I know no one believes David does this cause it’d be far too ridiculous. So why is Hook held to a different standard? Because he is a villain or because you just hate him? Cause both kisses happened under the same circumstances and we never see Hook force a kiss on anyone outside of this very specific circumstance.

But let’s talk about Regina. Since y’all think “how to get the savior to taste my forbidden (poison) fruit” is something sexual then what does that say about your ship? Because to me it says sexual abuse is just fine as long as it’s Regina doing it. And as I said earlier she forced Graham into a relationship with her. She sexually assaulted him for 28 years then murdered him when he rejected her. What about David? Yes, her trying to seduce a cursed David is 100% attempted sexual assault. I’ve even seen people convincingly argue that she’s even touched Killian inappropriately and suggested she’d make David a sex slave when she had him in her prison.

And for you RUMBELLE stans out there: Yes, Rumple assaults Belle several times. Once when he was masquerading as Killian AFTER her rejection and ejection from her life. He uses the author to re-write her as his wife AFTER her rejection. And he kisses her without permission while she’s in the sleeping curse AFTER she’s rejected him again.

OK while we’re here let me just draw the SWANFIRE fans into this: Yeah yeah yeah Neal wouldn’t have been charged for statutory rape since 16 was the age of consent in that state but lets not pretend that a 150 yr old with a 16/17 year old isn’t cringy. His body might not have aged but he has the experience of two lifetimes worth of emotional and mental maturity. And again it’s just sick.

So I ask you… out of all these couples…which one is more likely to sexually abuse their partner? Regina and Rumple is the answer because they have CANON history of doing so. Neal is more likely to cheat on Emma with a much younger woman. Deal with it.

So lets also scratch sexual abuse off your reasons CaptainSwan is abusive cause one, its a lie and two, your favorite (Rumple, Regina or Neal) is actually the canon rapist.

Kidnapping Henry

CLAIM: “Hook attempted to kidnap her son. (To save him from Zelena, Cool motive. Still kidnapping)… I’m sure none of these things will cause problems in their marriage [sarcasm]”

So apparently Hook attempting to kidnap Henry to save him from Zelena is proof that Hook is going to abuse Emma during their marriage? Or maybe they meant Henry? Still. Say what? That does not even make even a little bit of sense. But to say this as someone who ships Regina and Emma? Are you for real? Lets review.

Regina actually physically and emotionally abused Henry.

Regina poisoned Henry (To kill Emma. Cool motive. Still did it.)

Regina mind-wiped Henry so she could kidnap him to the Enchanted Forest and leave Emma to die (she had no rights to him)

Regina used vines to restrain Henry after his rejecting her Regina gaslit Henry and made him & everyone else think he's crazy.

Regina lied & manipulated Henry to get him to hate Emma and Snow

Regina used him to get Emma to leave the jail so she could talk to a prisoner

Regina sent Emma’s son to spy on the dark one so she could rewrite her own story & screw up everyone elses

Hell, Emma kidnapped him in Season 1 to get him away from Regina’s abusive ass!

So before you use “Hook kidnapped Henry” as an excuse as to why CaptainSwan will have an abusive marriage please check your own ship first because Regina actually has a history of abusing Henry to get what she wants. At least Hook was attempting to protect him. Regina was purposefully hurting him.

Furthermore... I know you all would have been 100x more critical if Killian did nothing or if he'd chanced telling Emma. You all would say he was still endangering Henry. So, honestly, save your fake outrage.

Poor Communication Skills

CLAIM: “Hook got drunk instead of telling Emma the truth about her grandfather"

Since Hook got a little drunk one time while trying to work up the courage to tell Emma about David’s father he now has poor communication skills? That’s right folks. One time. See logical people understand that if something happens one time it’s not an indication that it is an ongoing problem. But if you hate Killian Jones it is an excuse to say that if he did it once of course he does it all the time!

Also it’s not like failing to tell someone something isn’t the oldest writing trope of all time. That couldn’t be it, could it!??? Like this is such a pathetic reach. CaptainSwan talk all the time about everything. About his part in Rumple’s past. That time he sat down with her and helped her see what her parents were going through. The fact that he’s always the one to say “I love you” first. But sure you go ahead and ignore that.

What about Regina and Emma? Regina had to use the dagger on Emma to try and get her to tell her why Emma was holding onto the darkness. All Killian had to do was ask. Regina dragged Emma to a bar to get her to open up about Killian leaving and Emma opened up to a bar tender instead! Regina refused to talk to Emma about Robin. Regina refused to listen to Emma about Henry/Pan and just walked away instead of communicating! Regina went back to Cora instead of seeking help from Emma. So far I am seeing more instances of SwanQueen not communicating!

You wanna talk about RUMBELLE’S communication or lack thereof? When did you ever hear Rumple ask Belle what she wanted? Cause he basically was just like “I’m gonna move your life around where I want it without asking”.

So again, what ship has the worse communication problems? Regina and Emma’s friendship sucks but honestly I’d give this one to Rumple since he just takes charge of Belle’s life.

Alcoholism

Hook apparently STILL has a drinking problem. Did you guys know that? I didn’t. Literally news to me! OK I’ve heard the claim before but it’s just another reach and a miss. Claims of Hook having a drinking problem are from biased people who’ve obviously never seen alcoholism. Or someone who successfully got on the wagon and stayed on it.

First off, no drunk is the same. You have angry drunks, friendly drunks, happy drunks, sleepy drunks, hyper drunks. We never see Hook as an angry drunk. So to say that he’s an angry abusive drunk is 100% fanon. We actually see him as a pretty happy, charming, drunk who’s giving Emma an out on whether or not to accompany him to his ship. So obviously not an angry or controlling drunk.

Secondly, has anyone actually counted how many times we’ve seen him drink? Because it was not every episode. NM that having one drink a day doesn’t make you an alcoholic. Getting drunk every once in a while does not make you an alcoholic. If it did then I guess I’d better get myself to AA.

Thirdly, we only see him as a falling down drunk on a few occasions. We know he was a drunk while on a slaver ship. And if you're going to hold that against him then I know you're a biased hypocrite who only cares about your fanon version of Regina's childhood and refuses to think about the fact that Killian was sold as a child slave. Liam pulled him out of that life and he was a good sailor in the navy (until the king double crossed them). The next time we see him as a falling down drunk was the season 3 finale when Emma was plying him with alcohol to keep him distracted. He was inebriated when he proposed but he was neither stumbling nor slurring his words.

So my point is: We never see present day Killian Jones drunk when he is needed or shirking his duties because of it. Alcoholism destroys jobs, relationships and your ability to function in life on a weekly if not daily basis. When did Killian do any of that? Again. Having a couple of drinks does not make you an alcoholic.

Furthermore, Hook is over 300 years old. If he STILL had an alcohol problem he’d have succumbed to it by now. But he obviously overcame that addiction since leaving the slave ship. There is nothing in canon about present day Killian Jones to suggest he'd fall back into alcoholism since he has something to live for and isn't being abused on a slave ship.

Just admit you all look for ways to hate on the ship instead of being honest.

Being rude to Emma’s mother and Henry

CLAIM: "Hook was rude to Snow & made a remark about needing a shower. He also snapped at Henry."

So let me get this straight. One joke about taking a cold shower means Killian will be so rude to Snow in the future that it will affect his marriage to Emma? Where is the pattern? It happening one time (I never took this as being rude but hey you’re welcome to the opinion) doesn’t indicate a problem. None of us ever behave perfectly. But apparently Killian Jones has to or else y'all go into hysterics!

I think it’s rather unfair to take one instance, blow it out of proportion, and use it to say CaptainSwan is abusive or will have an abusive marriage. If you don’t think it’s funny, that’s fine. Just acknowledge your bias and move on.

And the thing about Hook snapping at Henry? Again. ONE TIME. And it was under stressful circumstances. It’s not like the frustration was coming out of nowhere. The lives of people he cared about were in danger. And if you know anything about Hook, he hates just sitting still. I mean watch how antsy he was waiting on Merlin to find a way to help Emma. His reaction was 100% wrong. But it was also human.

Do you all know how often Regina puts Snow down? Are you all aware of it? I know you guys like to call it “sass” but clutching your pearls over one joke makes y’all look like hypocrites. I can let one thing slide but you know something is wrong when there is a pattern and Regina has a consistent pattern. She does it all the time. And it’s not even just to Snow! She is rude to Emma’s friends as well and the man Emma is dating. I don’t care if you hate the person your BFF is dating. You don’t put them down. It’s not going to do anyone any good except to hurt the person you profess to care about. And that’s not being a very good friend is it? No.

So I ask you again. Who is more likely to consistently insult Emma’s loved ones in the future? Regina. She has the pattern and the history of doing so. Therefor, strike this off your reasons to hate on CaptainSwan because your queen is just as guilty!

P.S. Rumbellers - don't think you're off the hook here. Be for real. Rumple doesn't value anyone's life except his own (and therefor Belle's because he wants her).

Shifts Blame

CLAIM: “Hook shifts blame from himself to Emma and blames her for not being able to tell her about David’s father”

“I swear to you… I wanted to tell you. I tried. But then you found that ring, and I just couldn't bear to ruin that happiness. Because I was ashamed, Emma, and scared of losing you and everything that matters to me.”

I never took Killian’s line here as him shifting blame. He was not accusing her. His tone was not accusatory. He was explaining to her why he couldn’t bring himself to ruin her happiness. He also goes onto explain how ashamed he was. All of that played a part in him making the wrong decision.

If you want to see this as him shifting blame. Ok. That’s you're right. HOWEVER. Again. To say that this one moment of weakness defines their entire relationship is completely dishonest especially since he totally recognizes his fault and says so the moment he reunites with her. And this is literally the only instance you can find of Killian (possibly) shifting blame.

I also think it’s very disingenuous seeing that he could have continued to blame Emma for everything he did as Dark Hook since she went against his wishes. But he didn’t. He took responsibility for his weakness. So this thing over David’s father is not a normal every day behavior. Y’all act like he’s gonna yell at her about dirty dishes he left in the sink and it’s just absurd. Killian was sincere when he tells her "I could never be angry with you" and he's pretty much lived up to that since his redemption.

Furthermore, have you never been so embarrassed by something you did that you tried to get away from it? What Killian Jones did was a very human reaction to immense guilt.

And then you have Regina Mills. She is the queen of shifting blame and she’s done it more than once. Tried to blame Henry being in the mine on Emma when it was really her fault. The entire Marian arc was about blaming Emma for her own mess. Regina blamed Emma for the wraith chasing Robin Hood. Blames Emma for having to kill Wish Snowing. She NEVER apologizes for any of that. The author only records what happens (only one canon instance where the author abused his powers to manipulate a story and that was Snowing) yet Regina blames the book for the choices she made. Regina blamed Snow for making her the evil queen when Regina chose to do what she did of her own free will. She blames Rumple as well and while Rumple might have handed her the key she chose to take it and open up the door to dark magic. She sought Rumple out. She chose to go down that path. But everyone else gets blamed besides Regina. Cora gets blamed even though she was long gone when Regina sought Rumple out because she admitted to LIKING the dark magic. Hell, for a good portion of S6 they all acted like the evil queen was a separate entity!

Co-dependence

CLAIM: “Killian made Emma co-dependent as she was willing to let her parents die and her brother become an orphan“

WHEN WAS THIS? I don’t think it is S5 otherwise they’d mention Henry. If they are talking about S6 that was Regina… like when I say they project, they project! Emma tried to stop serumQueen. You know who could have easily stopped the serumQueen? Regina. By using her own heart. But she only did that to save Zelena. Regina also could have sacrificed herself to save the very people that are responsible for the 999 chances she's gotten and whose lives she destroyed.

So laying this on Emma is just an outrageous reach especially calling it co-dependent when just last season Emma set out to kill Dark Hook and then made the decision to leave Killian in the Underworld and return to Storybrooke.

You want to talk about co-dependence?

Regina was so damn dependent on Robin and getting her happy ending that she shut Henry out of his occasional home so she could mope. She was so damn dependent on Robin for happiness that she thought about destroying Emma’s happiness with Hook. Regina was so dependent on Robin that she abandoned Emma and their ride BACK TO HENRY to chase Wish Robin after she just got done reassuring Emma that Wish People weren’t real! Kindly STFU.

You want to talk about co-dependence?

Rumple refuses to let Belle go.

Badly treated: manipulation, lies, insults, etc

The only times Killian has ever treated Emma like “trash” is when he was a villain (and she gave it right back to him) and when he was literally cursed by darkness. And no, my little Regina apologists, his Dark One Hook persona is not who he REALLY is. Who he REALLY is, is the man we saw right before being consumed and after. The man who always put Emma first, encouraged her, supported her and believed in her. If you follow canon, it is quite clear that being consumed by darkness changes you and not only that the darkness was pushing for him to hate Emma so that they could separate them and use Killian to get what they wanted.

What really irks me is that if everything Killian said to Emma while a villain or consumed by darkness is reason that redeemed Killian would abuse Emma later in marriage then newsflash hypocrites Regina would do 10x worse. Because even after her supposed redemption Regina insulted Emma and ridiculed nearly ever plan or idea she came up with. Yet it is OK to ship Emma with Regina? So let’s review.

Regina treating Emma like garbage, lying, manipulating, insulting her etc etc BEFORE her redemption:

Regina: I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do.

Regina: …How grateful I am to have Henry. Because not having someone? Well, that’s the worst curse imaginable. (Praying on Emma’s vulnerability)

Blaming Emma for Henry being the mine when it's Regina's fault

Regina: Well, of course not. Because you’re incapable of feeling anything for anyone. There’s a reason you’re alone, isn’t there? (again praying on Emma's vulnerability & shifting blame for emma's life)

Fires Emma from her job. Says she doesn’t deserve the badge.

Regina: Well, I think you picked a really slow horse this time. It’s not like you to back a loser.

That time she published Emma’s jail record; Regina: Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t want people to know you cut his cord with a shiv?

Snaps at Emma for saving her in a fire

Regina Mills spent the first season trying to turn Henry against Emma

Would have let Emma die but only saved her and Snow in the end because of Henry (s2)

Regina: Because you know so much about parenting in the five minutes you’ve been with him. Talk to David. At least he took care of him while you were away. Like I did, during the ten years you were away the first time. (anti-birth parent rhetoric, victim blaming & diminishing the child abuse she put Henry through)

Regina: Miss Swan. I assume you’re here to apologize. - where the eff is her apology for everything?

Regina: He's not yours. He's mine. And after I cast this, you'll never see him again.

Regina called her an idiot

Dismissing Emma about fearing for Henry in NL (S3)

So surely if all of Killian’s words against Emma before his redemption & during being consumed by darkness is a sign he’d continue long into their marriage then Regina’s insults and ill treatment are a sign she’d do the same? Right?

Oh but wait, Regina’s ill treatment of Emma AFTER her redemption:

Dismissing Emma’s struggle as Dark Swan & acting like she knows more about what’s it like to be consumed by evil when she has never been consumed (5x23)

Acting like she’s the only one to ever lose love (S5, Robin stabbing)

Never once thinking of Emma when Hook died - all she could do is belittle Emma over trying to save him because it effected her yet she did the same thing with Robin & even Daniel! 

Wanted her HEA at the expense of others & endangered Henry to get it & also ignored the danger Emma was in to find it (s4 over rewriting the book)

Saying she was Henry’s best chance during the Shattered Sight curse (s4) and that wasn't true

Ignoring Emma’s concerns about Henry and falsely accusing Emma of being jealous (Pan-S3)

Making Emma feel bad about Henry’s tear all because she is jealous she doesn’t know Henry as well as Emma & ignoring how much she hurt Henry (S5 finale)

Regina called Emma a problem (5x01)

Regina stole Emma’s agency because she didn’t trust her to make the right choice whereas Killian insisted it had to be her choice without forcing her.

Regina believed the worse; that Emma would destroy light magic.

Regina blamed Emma right away for the demon. She never apologized (5x02).

THE ENTIRE MARIAN ARC. Regina had Emma doubting in herself when in fact everything that was happening was Regina’s fault.

Calls Emma an idiot again

Regina claims Emma ruined her life

Regina often doubted Emma’s abilities & thought she was more capable and Regina refused to follow her leadership (S3 over the map, S3 over Zelena, S3 over finding Neal who could read the star map, S6 in mirror mirror)

She often used anti-birth mother rhetoric (accusing Emma of being jealous in 3x10, being safer with her in shattered sight curse, S5 finale over Henry & Violet’s favorite song & the sEQ calling herself his real mother).

Swanfire really needs to shut up about this too. Emma and Neal weren’t enemies so their list isn’t as dramatic as SwanQueen and CaptainSwan but it doesn’t mean it isn't bad! And it is bad considering the fact that Neal abandoned her, laughed about her powers, yelled at her for not telling him about Henry AFTER he was the one to walk away from her, let her take the fall for his crimes and then only tried to get her back when it was convenient for HIM.

Rumbellers also have no room to criticize Killian’s past and use it as a way to disparage CaptainSwan because their ship is full of horrible things. Adultery. Liking Belle to an object to have (makes statements that he can have Belle and his power). Lied to her about the dagger then married her anyway. Thinks Belle is ignorant and wants to keep her that way. Literally shackled her with that bracelet to control her.

OutlawQueen can take a seat too. The fact that they committed adultery next to his dying wife's frozen body makes that ship absolutely disgusting. And yes, it counts because they believed her to be his wife. Intent matters. And the fact that Regina never told him the truth or how she wanted to make sure his son never had a mother so she could have Robin. AWFUL.

Hook jumped off a roof just to get Emma to talk to him

Come talk to me when he does this cause she’s on a date with someone else, just sitting around talking to her friends or family or you know otherwise busy and when they aren’t in the middle of a major crisis where everyone could die.

Hook is the Professor of Moodiness 101

Seriously. Wtf is this? They didn’t have enough bullet points I guess? Have they met Regina Mills? Cause Regina is constantly snapping at everyone. I know you all like to laugh and say “she’s just sassy” but that doesn’t make her comments or the tone she says them in any less rude. And no one laughs but you all. And yes, she does this a lot in frustrating moments but it’s all the time compared to Killian’s …what? Two?

Whether you all like it or not Killian Jones's attitude is dramatically different after the S3 winter finale onward. And he improves even more after the s4 winter finale. By the time we get to the last half of Season 5 we are looking at a much more mature Killian Jones being the man he was always meant to be.

But Regina? Regina never loses her attitude. She may have stopped killing. She may have joined team hero to get her happy ending. But she is still rude and extremely self-centered.

Trying to murder friends and loved ones

CLAIM: Family and friends are possessions but Emma’s loved ones are threatened by Killian?? Tried to maliciously kill Emma’s family and friends

I love how they threw “maliciously” in there like there is any other way to try to kill someone? Gotta make it sound more sinister, I guess? Ok Regina Apologist! Whatever floats your boat!

I think this refers to Killian being consumed by darkness which he only did because he was indeed consumed by darkness. So if this is why Killian will abuse Emma in the future then surely Regina’s lifelong goal of killing Emma and the Charmings is also cause to say that she too would abuse Emma in the future? Otherwise I missed all of the plotting he did before and after? He doesn’t have cause to try and kill Emma’s friends or family. He never did. So the only way this would occur is if he’s cursed again.

Regina has reasons to though! Out of jealousy and her want to have Henry to herself! So yes, my little Regina apologist. Regina is more likely to snap later on and decide she’s sick of watching everyone else be happy and create another curse. Just look at how much she wanted to steal Emma’s happiness when she lost Robin? That is after her “redemption” too.

And for you Rumbellers out there, Rumple tried in S4, 5, 6 and 7 to isolate Belle from everyone by killing them off or harming them in some way. And when he finally managed to get her alone, she rapidly aged and died. So really you all have no room to talk about any other ship.

Regina also tried to murder Robin's wife. So OutlawQueen can also scratch this one out. I mean the only reason they're together is because Regina murdered his wife.

CONCLUSION: Regina is more likely to abuse her future partner & Rumbelle is the poster ship for domestic abuse

So heads up OutlawQueen, SwanFire, SwanQueen, Rumbellers or pretty much any ship outside of Snowing... do not come at my ship for things that have nothing to do with the present day relationship when I have plenty of "present time" receipts to make your ship look 10x worse.

CaptainSwan fans ship Emma Swan with the Killian Jones who was the only one to ever put her first, let her make every decision moving forward in their relationship and was the only one to always believe in her.

[synthient]

Just making a (non comprehensive) list of elements I enjoyed in The Cabin at the End of the World, and missed in the adaptation:

The magical realism running gag

The implied 3rd option to "Leonard and co are right" vs "Leonard and co are delusional," which is "they're being influenced by some kind of supernatural force, but it's not a god or apocalypse-bringer. It's just some creature that wants human sacrifices"

The grasshopper jar as a metaphor that links Wen, Leonard, and god

The part where Eric and Andrew are play wrestling, making out, and probably about to get hot and heavy Right before they get home invaded

Andrew is a literature professor, so his pov keeps allowing for stuff like "if I was critiquing your cult ramblings via literary tropes about the apocalypse--" or "wow this is just like Neuromancer"

All the bits where the omniscient narrator is like "Wen had xyz complex and painful thoughts, but she didn't really know how to articulate them yet because she was 7" (and the tragedy that she never gets to)

The connection drawn between Eric and Andrew's default strategies (self-defense vs negotiation) and their foundational experiences with bigotry (violent hate crime vs interpersonal family disownment)

"The Goonies rock!!!! :D"

The implication that "Redmond is O'Bannon" may be just as much of a delusion/desperate attempt to find meaning in senseless violence as "I keep seeing a light"

The use of pov generally--especially the last Wen pov, the late additions of Leonard and Sabrina's povs, and the final shared "we" pov

The part where Leonard's like "none of us loved Redmond, but he seemed like a basically good man--" and the women are like "oh shut up Leonard, we all know he was creepy to the two of us on that forum"

Adrienne's "I don't have a homophobic bone in my body :)" -> "let's start cutting fingers off!!!" pipeline

How much of the horror is about being subjected to violence by people who want you to think they're Good, Normal, and Reasonable, and keep treating you like you're Being Mean or infantalizing you like a disobedient child at the slightest sign of resistance

[lottiehenrietta]

Okay so. I just finished reading Babel by R. F. Kuang and I cannot stop picturing Farah Dowling when reading about Professor Craft

Like, it's all there. The guilt for a misdeed in the past, the helpless attempt of redemption through self-sacrifice, the somewhat cold and yet comforting air about them. They're so similar.

Especially towards the end of Babel, there's one scene at a tea table with a newspaper and some tears, and honestly, I had to put the book down because holy shit, that's Farah in another universe. Also, the witty and curt remarks Professor Craft makes, again especially towards the end, just scream Farah to me

[kaleuh]

tell me about ghis GlenMac?

I WILL Tell you about GlenMac !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO

THIS IS GLENMAC (Official Book Art) AND THEN HERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM WITH HIS BEST BUDDY, Adjunct Professor and Graduate Jackson Green (art that me and my group got commissioned of them by nico on twitter!)

FULL NAME: Glenn MaClanahan (If you're formal, it's Professor MaClanahan, but all the students gave him the nickname GlenMac!)

He's a professor in the Anthropology Department at East Texas University, located in the cozy town of Pinebox, Texas. He and Jackson know fully well that there's something extremely uncozy about Pinebox, though. When you (the player) attend ETU as a freshman, you are quick to notice that there is something very unnerving about the town, and the school. Rumors of ghosts, monsters, and rituals—things that could easily be explained away by pointing at college students and children in town with too much liquor and imagination. GlenMac and Jackson are here to tell your character: No! You are not crazy! You definitely saw the ghost of a student who was burned alive in the gymnasium!

GlenMac (as well as Jackson) are the NPCs in this story who are initially there to serve your character with an introduction to the supernatural. GlenMac can really be any professor-appropriate age (I believe the book says he’s in his 40s but given the book art our DM [my boyfriend!!] deemed him to be 32 in our game. He also thought it would make sense to make him younger since him and Jackson (who is in his mid 20s) are supposed to be close pals.)

GlenMac has been investigating the supernatural for years, and deeply cares about the well-being of his students. Anyone who comes to his office hours for help will never be turned away—especially if "weird stuff" has been happening to them. In his office you'll also meet his life-long companion, a Scottish Terrier named Argyle, with whom he takes on regular walks throughout campus. He is overly caring and self-sacrificing to a fault, though, willingly placing himself in danger to protect someone who needs it. He's aware that students will occasionally stumble upon magic resources and rituals—because of this, he's been said to be searching for a method in which anyone can safely accomplish a ritual...without having to sacrifice anything to the Magical Powers That Be in return. Which seems like a great idea! A Professor with a deep thirst for the knowledge and power of the unknown, also willing to try literally anything, even if it means putting himself at the whims of Possibly Dark Magic for the good of others. It will work out fine for him, is what I've been telling myself!

SO OF COURSE, because it's a TTRPG, not all GlenMacs are the same. Here are some other fast facts about the GlenMac I know, and why I'm insane about him:

When my basketball himbo son (my character Trey) went through a tough breakup during freshman year, him and Jackson played Boggle with him and the party until he cheered up.

Also when my son was alone and sad in Pinebox during summer vacation, GlenMac adorned his best dork-ass dad jock attire and joined him on morning runs (with Argyle).

He's often stressed and formal but under that he is Sweet and A Tad Silly and a bit of a dork and god. we love him for it

GlenMac doesn't really pay attention to current pop-culture stuff online but if you tell him he Lost the Game he WILL get mad.

Unbelievable in that turtleneck.

Grew up in North Dakota, had a big falling out with his parents and has been largely alone. It's implied that he never really had a friend like Jackson, up until him (and depending on how nice your party is to him, your group.)

AND YOU CAN TELL HE'S LONELY. GOD. HE PUTS EVERYTHING INTO THIS WORK AND HIS STUDENTS. How much time he spends alone with his thoughts...the supernatural stuff probably pushed anyone he cared about away. He has his little apartment with his folded-cornered books and half-finished coffee cups and toys for his dog...but we want him to meet someone So bad 😭 (GOD I wish it were me.)

His desire to know the unknown and try things "just to see if he can" is dangerous, reckless, scary, and a little unhinged...he a little fucked up...I'm scared for him...(but its also...😳...).

This is not canon to our game but we keep joking about how girls on Rate My Professor won't stop referring to him as "Big Mac" and that he's desperately been trying to get those reviews removed.

If you ever get curious about East Texas University, I highly recommend it! I love the Savage Worlds system so much!! We're playing the East Texas University “Degrees of Horror” adventures, which is the "main plot" campaign for East Texas University (we also do some 12-to-Midnight adventures.) I think the story can be set anywhere in the 2000's so we just set ours in modern day.

We're not finished yet, but it has truly been a life-changing story so far!

GENUINELY, TRULY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

[thehumanistcrusader]

I don't think we realize just dangerous Silver Snow could be for Byleth as a character.

(EDIT: Changed the title to reflect the headcanon-esque nature of this post.)

In the other three routes, Byleth has the house leaders to anchor themselves down when they receive their divine powers. In Azure Moon and especially Verdant Wind, they are able to maintain their humanity despite their rise to godhood because they have those bonds, and in Crimson Flower, they end up losing their powers altogether. But Silver Snow? Oh, Silver Snow is a whole other ball game.

In Silver Snow, Edelgard, who in another timeline would have been the one to relieve Byleth of their divinity and perhaps even fill their life with love and compassion, instead turns on them, leaving to fulfill her own ideals. Dimitri ends up going insane from his own demons and dies at Gronder, likely not in a very nice way, too. Claude is forced to leave Fodlan for Almyra in order to save himself. Worse yet, all the other students who weren't lucky enough to join Byleth are likely dead as well.

And Rhea, the one person they've been holding out for this whole time, the one person that they had hoped would be able to turn things around, is either dead, or has retired to Zanado. Byleth was just beginning to show their humanity, to warm their stone cold heart, and what did they get for it? Nothing. Their home is ravaged by war, so many of their students, their friends are dead, and the ones that did make it out will never get to see their dear Professor grow old alongside them. Even Cyril, the youngest voiced character in the entire game, will be nothing but a blink to the immortal Byleth. Sure, Seteth and Flayn are still there, and maybe Macuil and Indech could be convinced to come hang out at Gareg Mach, but even these 4 are nothing compared to the 40+ friends that Byleth has lost.

A major part of Byleth's story is the relationship between their humanity and their divinity. Azure Moon and Verdant Wind manage to strike a balance, albeit leaning towards human and divine respectively. The Black Eagle routes, then, are the extremes. In Crimson Flower, Byleth sacrifices their divinity to embrace their humanity, finding themselves in the loving arms of close friends, and perhaps eventually, family. In Silver Snow, what does Byleth do when almost everyone they know is dead, and they must now shoulder the responsibility of leading Fodlan for all eternity? Simple. They reject their humanity, and with it the memories of happier days, and embrace their divine nature wholeheartedly. There is no longer Byleth, there is only The Enlightened One.

Fodlan is transformed into a theocracy, ruled eternally by The Enlightened One, who rules with daft precision and perfection. Thanks to the technology from Shambala, Fodlan is transformed into a technological paradise. Every building is self-powered, all foods is grown in buildings with perfect conditions, all jobs are handled by machines. There is no disease, because The Enlightened One heals all the sick. There is no crime, because The Enlightened One rains divine judgement on those who sin. There is no war, because The Enlightened One destroys all who threaten Fodlan.

However, just as The Enlightened One guards those under the wings, so too do they strike down any from outside. Under their rule, Fodlan becomes even more isolationist, to the point where had folks like Petra or Claude tried to enter Fodlan, they would have been chased off like savage bears outside of one's house, because to The Enlightened One, that is essentially what they are: savage beasts threatening their precious home.

Fodlan becomes a perfect world, and yet, because of this, there is no growth, no change, no evolution. The Enlightened One has become a cold, apathetic, and pragmatic ruler in their rejection of humanity. Fodlan becomes cold, stale, emotionless, blanketed forever...

...in silver snow.

[melonteee]

I don't watch star wars but I'm being reminded of the "what have I sacrificed?" Speech from the Andor when it comes to Dragon. It's basically a man braking down screaming on how he will throw away anything he has, dignity and self-respect he has if that means one day someone else doesn't have to do that. We know Dragon is a pacifist and hates death/violence even to those he hates because it simply isn't morally right for him but we are seeing Dragon throw away his higher moral standing and peace of mind for the hopes in the future that someone can actually be a pacifist, in hopes no one is pushed to fight simply to live and we see with Sabo willingly letting people believe he killed a king he will also swallow the pain of some people dying in an unjust way if that means more hope tomorrow.

He truly sounds like the real life guys you see that join armies because they don't think about the fighting they only see the helping of others and being absolutely destroyed when it is just violence especially to those who need protecting. I really enjoy that it's being shown in one piece I think not enough talk about that very painful experience is shown for how common it is

I love Dragon I love Dragon I love Dragon I love Dragon I love Dragon I love Dragon I especially love how he currently IS showing just how fucked up the marines are and how there possibly cannot BE permanent good in the marines because of the 'justice' they're all forced to believe. We literally have Garp telling Koby the old are worth being sacrificed for the young, but we can determine Dragon himself would not think like this - because he finds men like Vegapunk and Professor Clover to be both worth saving, as well as friends.

There's a big difference between someone CHOOSING sacrifice, and the systems that be saying YOU are not worthy of life compared to this other person. However, what Dragon seems to want is a world where sacrifice is not necessary full stop for life, and the marines never provided him that hope.

I am so sure whatever Dragon reveals, whatever he says and WHO he is, will flip the way some fans see the marines. I am SO excited for it and Dragon is making me CRAZYYYYY

[femmefatalevibe]

hi, idk if you answered this before, but how did you manage to become self-employed by 24? also any career building tips in general?

Hi love! Well, I'm nearly 25 now (Leo baby here, lol) and have been self-employed since around 21/22 full-time. I would say the main factors at play are a combination of starting my career as early as possible (first real internship in the fashion industry at almost 16 and starting freelancing at around 19), earning a full scholarship to a top private university, and freelancing throughout college allowed me to have a lot of time and freedom to work on my skills, build my networks/portfolio, etc. (I'm not going to discount all of the privileges and resources I've had working in my favor, including the ability to begin my postgrad life with zero debts, that would be disingenuous, for certain).

In terms of career advice, I would say here are some of my most important tips:

Figure out where your skills and passions align. Then determine the lifestyle/work culture you thrive in and what sacrifices you're willing to make in your chosen career path (for some, it's always traveling/talking to people 24/7, working late hours, unpredictable/unconventional hours, potentially lower pay/less predictable income, etc.). It truly depends on your top values, your personality, and your goals/priorities in life.

First focus on getting incredibly talented at your craft. Find a mentor(s) who will push you with their feedback/suggestions. Take classes/skills courses/read books & articles to gain more applicable knowledge/hard skills. Join clubs, apply to internships, volunteer, and request informational interviews in your desired field.

Make your skills marketable. Create a professional resume and/or neat portfolio/collection of work samples. Discover and articulate your USP (that should essentially serve as the backbone of your elevator pitch). Frame your skills through a customer/business-centric lens. How does your experience/skillset solve their problems and help a company/client achieve their goals?

Build a network for yourself. Don't be shy to reach out to companies/individuals who inspire you. Speak with your secondary school teachers and professors for connections. Create peer-to-peer networks, too, so you can grow together. Be a fearless networker and connector. Help others, do favors, and make the person glad they met/hired you. Make it your objective to be memorable through your work ethic/providing high-quality work products and showing up with a motivated & overall positive attitude allows people to like and trust you with their time, clients, money, etc.

Master the art of a killer email/cold pitch. Especially in today's world, learning how to sell yourself through intriguing emails/LinkedIn messages is the key to unlocking potential success. One client or opportunity can create momentum that will be useful years down the line, too.

When in doubt, follow up – on an email, pitch, job opportunity, connection, etc.

Be ruthless and relentless with your research. For new contacts, connections, opportunities, and information to support your pitches/job interviews/networking conversations, new technologies, and trends within your field. Read everything credible you can get your hands on. Display working knowledge and practical applications of these concepts and how they can benefit the person in front of you/their business.

Create systems. For how you structure emails/pitches, conduct research, different types of workflows/ work template structures for different types of projects, time-blocking, client funnels, etc.

Get comfortable with rejection. Use it as a primer for self-reflection and refining your craft/processes or help you pivot your approach to help you achieve your goals. Never take business decisions on behalf of a company personally (and vice versa).

Give yourself breaks, but don't give up. Tapping out for good is the only surefire way to fail at an endeavor. Be flexible in your path, but zeroed in on your goal(s). Learn when to quit or pivot, and when it's time to coast or seek growth.

Hope this helps xx

[victarin]

@chaireem @ineedtoschleepnow

Grabbing You Two.

heads up for Breaking bad spoilers obv but Ok so there’s a couple things that relate Jesse to jesus christ . one of the more obvious things is the theme of self-sacrifice ; from the start of the series we see jesse being used to sacrifice things of his own under walt’s orders (parking the RV at his house & the hole burned into the floor). later on this escalates to losing Jane, Andrea, Brock, etc and eventually his freedom and ultimately his identity (El Camino). its kinda interesting bc his sacrifices develop from being directly under walt’s demands to being betrayed by walt , especially when the sacrifices become more high-stakes & more associated w his development into a better person

his position as a drug dealer & the people he associates with bc of that actually connects to the way christ often was seen in the company of thieves (yeah) and prostitutes (a pretty direct example being Wendy). and then there’s that whole thing with christ and his disciples - (im getting a LOT of this info from How to Read Literature like a Professor by foster) - christ-like figures are usually associated w a group of people that follow them around, a lot like Jesse’s friends (Badger, Skinny Pete, and for a little while Combo) that help distribute the meth & continue to help him up to El Camino where they help him escape

there’s smaller things too, like jesse being good with kids (this is a repeated theme in the show, i always thought it was interesting how much this was emphasized & how much sadder it makes his character but that’s another topic). in rehab jesse mentions liking woodworking in high school - jesus was a carpenter! and two more specific points mentioned in How to Read Lit: being in agony & humble mode of transportation. these im less sure abt but you could definitely still connect them to jesse. like his whole thing is being in agony at the end of the show & at several points during it (not entirely physical, but still). humble mode of transport is DEFINITELY more subtle; remember that cool bouncing car he had at the start of the show? and how he had to swap it out for the boring, subtle one? i would count that

there’s possibly maybe other things but my memory is Not That Great

ALSO (better call saul spoilers under the cut)

chair. sharing one of my favorite gus scenes w you

OH OH AND THIS ONE

ok that’s it thank you for reading if you read all that 👍👍👍 im normal

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I'm the anon who asked the question about empathy a few hours ago. Thanks for getting back to me, and with such a detailed response too. I think that it was really helpful.

I don't want to hurt anyone, especially with my beliefs - I just wanted to make that clear. A lot of people told me that I should go into therapy because I'm good at telling people what they should do in a situation, and because I can understand why people feel the way that they do. I'm already almost halfway through a Psychology bachelor's degree that I love - even if I don't end up becoming a therapist, I wouldn't regret learning more about psychology for a second.

Honestly, I mostly wanted to become a therapist for me - so that I can learn how to be more empathetic, and talk to more people so that I can learn more about them and not judge them so much, stuff like that. It's not the best motivation, and I know that. I really want to get over my beliefs - I know that they're hindering me more than anything. I think that the only way that I can get over my beliefs is to learn more about people who aren't like me. I completely understand why you don't want me to be a therapist - I've never really wanted to be a therapist either. I've been pretty terrified at the prospect of it, actually. Would you recommend something like a psychology professor, or a researcher, by any chance, or should I avoid those areas of psychology too? I'll absolutely learn more about abolition and psych abolition.

I think a lot of people say "you should be a therapist" to folks who are decent listeners/who give good advice because they have no idea of what it actually means to be a therapist. Being a therapist can for sure include those things, but honestly, I find a lot of the people who go into the field on that basis eventually realize they are in way over their heads and become pretty miserable in their work. It's a hard field to have healthy boundaries/self care in as it is, and people deserve to go into it because they know what they're asking of themselves, not just because others make blasè/uninformed comments.

If you're scared of the idea of *having* to be a therapist, I definitely think you shouldn't be. No one who fears the field is likely to do well there, even with effective skill building, which I really do want to emphasize is totally doable! It sounds like you're passionate about the subject matter, but aren't necessarily into the practicum aspects of the work, which I think is totally reasonable! Psychology is fascinating! And it can be so valuable as a field of study even if you don't use it as a direct 1:1 in your employment later on.

If you enjoy the learning, I think you'll enjoy the process of expanding your understanding into the realms of psych abolition/anti-psych. It can be hard to sit with criticisms of fields and knowledge that we're passionate about, but I think it makes us better, both as people and as learners to do so! So I hope you find the same!

As far as going into academia goes, personally, I don't recommend it for anyone, not because folks aren't suited to it, but because capitalism has made the process of working in the ivory tower a hellscape unlike anything you'll ever see. There are 7 jobs, none of them involve actual research so much as writing 10,000 grants per year and jockying with the 500,000 other desperate post-docs for funding and name recognition, and no one gets tenure anymore. We used to scare people straight with threats of publish or perish, but honestly, I kinda long for the days of mere PoP toxicity? Like, at least then there was a chance that you would get to do work on something you actually cared about rather than getting assigned to the same 5 projects that demand you sacrifice your integrity AND the world's future somehow.

Edit to add: my undergrad was in research anthropology, and while I definitely made moves towards academia over my career I'm *really* glad I didn't end up there. That's me tho! Not everyone else.

There are people who make academia (professorships/research positions) work, and maybe you're dedicated enough to be one of them! But to be honest, the reality is that most of us go to school and get degrees and then we get jobs that are AT MOST tangentially related to those degrees. Mostly we use our degrees for hobbies, mental stimulation, and self-growth/development. That's.....really fine. There's plenty of fulfilling jobs out there that you can find. They don't have to be exactly what your degree was in, and frankly careers are often a long line of continuing educational opportunities anyway.

There are also tons of legit ways to use a psychology degree that have nothing to do with therapy or academia! They're just like. Applied psychology jobs, not direct psychology jobs. That's fine too!

I think a lot of people go into psych and pigeon-hole themselves. I'd really recommend against that. The private sector has a ton of jobs that pay decently, have reasonable hours, and won't ask you to go back for a master's or a PhD and *even more student debt*. Why force yourself to go into the parts of the industry that - truly - SUCK SO FUCKING HARD if you aren't willing to tear yourself apart for them? Life doesn't need to be lived on hard mode.

[mapoyaj]

fear is a good thing (nine years after)

Hello everyone, I want to share a story from nine years ago, on my #RoadtoRPm. It’s been nine years since the board exam results were released (though I remember finding out on July 31).

Everything that happened with the boards was so unexpected. I remember clearly in March 2015, right before graduation, I told myself I’d take the boards in 2016 because I was so scared. At that time, I knew I would graduate as a Magna Cum Laude, which I was proud of, but with that came immense pressure. Being a Latin honor meant I had to pass the board exam.

I was terrified of disappointing my school's faculty and myself. I had often failed to meet my own expectations, and the fear of failing again weighed heavily on me. It’s so hard to expect so much of yourself, but the expectations were sky-high, and the pressure was unbearable. Yet, I decided to take the board exam because my professor told me, "Fear is a good thing." It makes you more careful and increases your chances of passing compared to being complacent.

After graduation, I began my review, but for the first few months, it was utterly useless. I was enrolled in a distance learning program, which meant I controlled my schedule. Unfortunately, this led to me reviewing only about 3 hours a day, sometimes even less. I was distracted by computer games (Need for Speed, GTA, etc.) and other requirements, adding nothing to my knowledge.

A month before the exam, the pressure hit hard. I cried from sheer fear because so many people expected me to pass, including my family, who believed I could be in the top 10. The stress was overwhelming. I felt so unprepared, having barely touched my review modules. I cried for days, feeling worthless, stupid, and lazy. I doubted I could ever pass.

After my "existential crisis," I rushed to Recto to buy reference books, spending nearly 3k. From that day on, my 3-hour review sessions turned into 8 hours, with breaks only for lunch and sleep. I didn’t want to overwork myself, so I read the books like John Green novels, absorbing as much as I could.

A week before the boards, I realized I hadn’t finished my modules and had only gotten halfway through my books. I felt doomed, especially after hearing from a review center professor that those who pass usually read entire books for each subject. I had barely reached chapter 5 in four books. During the final coaching session, I sat in front with my friends, trying to appear confident, but I was terrified every time the professor mentioned something I didn’t know. My grades in mock exams were decent but never outstanding. Despite my friends' belief that I might top the exam, I had lost hope.

On the exam day, the first subject went well (I was thrilled, thinking I might top), but after the second subject (psych assessment), I prayed desperately to St. Jude at La Consolacion, asking just to pass, not even to top. By the last subject on the second day (I/O Psych), I was almost in tears, having left four questions blank. I feared that this meant I would fail. I texted my mentor, who reassured me that it wouldn’t affect my score, but I remained unconvinced.

The ten-day wait for the results was agonizing. Every single day felt like an eternity. Then, around 7:00 am one morning, while I was showering, I received a text saying I was a topnotcher. I thought it was a cruel joke until I checked the PRC website and saw my name in the Top 10. I nearly collapsed with joy, realizing all my sacrifices were worth it. All my self-doubt vanished in an instant. It was the most unexpected and beautiful moment of my life.

It’s incredible how the person who doubted their abilities ended up in the Top 10. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, just when you’re about to give up, God shows you why you shouldn’t. It taught me to take risks. As my mentor said, "Always remember that you are greater than the 450 questions." Whether you top, pass, or fail, it’s not the ultimate measure of your worth. The journey itself is what truly matters, at least to me.

[the-al-chemist]

Artemis Hexley and the Return to the Riddles

Chapter 24: Set Free

A/N: the chapter featuring the first of Artemis and Dumbledore’s annual chats was called “More Questions Than Answers”, and I feel like the last chapter left us with exactly that. So, let’s answer the rest, shall we? Warnings: mentions of death, violence, murder, intrigue, betrayal, and war. Spoilers for the Harry Potter series. One NSFW but hilarious joke I plagiarised from the BBC series “Ghosts”.

Her mind reeling, Artemis felt her whole self spin, before her feet touched back on solid ground. She was out of the Pensieve, and back in Dumbledore's office once more. Still dizzy, she looked from the Pensieve to the headmaster and back again.

"I..." She took a deep breath and rubbed her damp cheeks with the heel of her hand. "The doors. I used to dream about the doors. And the rest... That's what I saw in the final Vault. Some of it, anyway. It didn't make sense, because the rest was all memories, but that... I didn't remember it. But they were memories too, weren't they?" Professor Dumbledore nodded his head, and Artemis took another shaky breath. "So all of it really happened? My dad... My father, he... He wanted Jacob to open the Vaults, so he..."

"He found the kindest way to fulfill the prophecy he could think of," Dumbledore said gently. "But, yes. He attempted to take your life."

"And my mother..."

"The following morning, Leander Hexley was found lying beneath the same archway he tried to convince you to run through. He knew the significance of the archway, and so his death was suspected to be self-inflicted. No one ever suspected Sally Hexley. But then, people always do underestimate the ferocity of a mother."

"But why don't I remember it properly?"

"You know why. You saw why."

"No," Artemis shook her head. "Jacob wouldn't do that."

"You have just seen that he did."

"Well, you must have it all wrong. There must be another reason why I don't remember."

"I do not have it wrong,” Dumbledore sighed. “You don't remember because the two people who loved you most wanted to protect you. Jacob removed your memories, and your mother did her best to hide the truth from you, however she could. In doing so, they relieved you of the burden of knowing about everything you just saw."

Artemis' hands shook with anger. "But that's not fair. Those memories were mine, and I didn't even get asked if-"

"I am not condoning either of their actions, Artemis. I am merely stating facts," said Dumbledore, his blue eyes filled with sympathy. "Your own father attempted to kill you in order to fulfil an ancient prophecy that would enable him to gain access to great power. Is that something that any child should have to live with? Of course, the answer to that question is no. Now, was it fair that your brother tampered with something that should have been yours and yours alone, and in the process denied you your right to the truth? Also no. Was it right that your mother pushed you away to stop you from reading the truth in her eyes, and in doing so, made you doubt her love for you? Yet again, no. But, they did these things thinking that they would protect you from harm. Sometimes, even when - especially when - try to keep the ones we love safe, we hurt them in other ways." 

Artemis was used to Dumbledore's eyes sparkling as her spoke, though not with tears, as they were now. She sighed deeply, her anger draining from her, just a little.

"How do you know all this, Professor?" she asked.

"Your brother told me himself, shortly after your father's death," replied Dumbledore. "He told me everything. He told me how, in his search for the Vaults, he had discovered that his father was the leader of the group that had derived itself from the Ronde of Fortinbras. He told me that his father believed him the one to open the Vaults, and yours the life required for the sacrifice. He begged me to help him, appealed to my better nature, and together, we came up with a plan that would keep you safe from the Ronde.

"As I said before, the prophecy that you and young Mr Weasley procured from the Department of Mysteries could have pertained to either you or to your brother. If Jacob were to open the Vaults, you would not survive the process. However, if you did it..."

"Then it wouldn't be me who would be used as a sacrifice."

"Precisely. It would be your brother. Jacob knew that you adored him more than anyone, and he was prepared to switch places with you, to lay down his own life for yours," Dumbledore inclined his head. "This is what I mean when I say that it was not your action of picking up the prophecy record that made you the one to fulfil it. Your brother had already taken measures to ensure that you would be the one, and not him. 

“That is why he continued his search for the Vaults after his expulsion. He was attempting to open each one in turn, ready to take you to the final Vault and sacrifice himself to allow you to open it. It is why he left home all those years ago, why he disappeared without a trace. He was making himself unavailable to the Cabal so that they would have no choice but to use you until he was found. He even went as far as to leave a trail behind him for you to follow, should he fail in his endeavour. Just as well he did, because he later became trapped inside the Buried Vault, but then, your brother was very good at planning ahead. There was, however, one thing that he did not plan for."

"What was that?"

"Your heart," said Dumbledore simply. "The curses were dormant, the Vault was sealed, and Jacob trapped inside. But, in the time it took for him to be freed, you had begun to grow into the young woman you are now. You changed, you learned about the yourself and the world around you, and you forged deep connections with others. As you should have, I might add." Dumbledore's lips twitched, but his eyes still looked sad. "In absenting himself, Jacob had distanced himself from you emotionally, allowing your heart to make room for another to take his place. He was no longer the person you held most dear, and his was not the life required as a sacrifice."

"Rowan..." Artemis swallowed. Her throat was bone dry. "So it really was my fault that she died."

Dumbledore shook his head and placed his hand on hers.

"No. No, my dear girl," he sighed. "Artemis, I owe you an apology. The same apology I owe to Rowan herself and to all the other people who loved her. When Jacob Hexley came to me and begged me to help save his younger sister's life at the expense of his own, I agreed. I even went so far as to put him in contact with someone who I knew would stop at nothing to help him in his endeavour. I am talking, of course, about Patricia Rakepick.

"Patricia had been a student several years earlier, and after leaving Hogwarts, had gone on - to absolutely no one's surprise - to achieve great renown in the field of curse-breaking. Her views about certain events affecting the wizarding world at large during that time closely aligned with my own, and she herself had been fascinated by the idea of the Cursed Vaults as a girl. I knew that her intellect, bravery, and ruthlessness was precisely what your brother - and you - needed to reach the final Vault. She would have both the ability to make difficult decisions and the understanding of why they needed to be made. She would do what was necessary, I was certain of it. Sadly, I was correct about this.

"This is why I must apologise," said Dumbledore. "I knew the lengths to which Patricia Rakepick would go, but I failed - either wilfully or not - to see how her doing so might result in the death of someone not already directly embroiled in the mystery of Hogwarts’ Cursed Vaults. If you must blame anyone other than Rakepick herself for Rowan's death, it should be me."

Artemis blinked back tears, and the headmaster squeezed her hand.

"You acted in innocence, I in ignorance," he told her. "It is a small difference, but one that renders me culpable, and you not." He let go of her hand, his own eyes dewy. "The Cursed Vaults were always going to have their life eventually, Artemis. There is nothing that you could have done that would have stopped that, and your opening the final Vault tonight will have saved countless others great losses such as the one you experienced last year."

Slowly, Artemis nodded her head, her eyebrows knitting together. Dumbledore's words were reminiscent of someone else's. Rakepick's. 

"In her trial, Rakepick said that Rowan's life had spared those of many others," she said, and Dumbledore inclined his head. "Is that why this is so important, all of this? Why so many people wanted what was inside that Vault, and behind that door?"

"All that most people know is that the Vaults were created to hold a great power. The terrible thing about power is that there are many who will stop at nothing to gain it. Power corrupts, which is why Morgan Le Fay thought it necessary to protect this specific power with such a complex system of secrets and riddles as the Cursed Vaults. As for why that power is so significant..." Dumbledore straightened up in his seat, his face growing stern. "Miss Hexley, I once taught a student who was completely and utterly corrupted by the mere promise of power."

"Rakepick, yeah, I know."

"No. Not Rakepick. This student's name was Tom Riddle." Dumbledore spoke the name as if it ought to have meant something to Artemis. Clearly her face gave away the fact that it did not mean anything at all, for he continued, "You, of course, will know him by another name. Lord Voldemort."

Artemis' mind boggled. "But what has You-Know-Who -"

"Voldemort."

"Yeah. Voldemort, sorry," she corrected herself quickly. "What's he got to do with the Cursed Vaults?"

"Four years ago, you asked me if I believed that Voldemort had ever truly died. I told you that I did not," said Dumbledore. "Miss Hexley, you have seen how many prophecies are held in the Department of Mysteries. One of those prophecies hints at a way by which Voldemort may be defeated, once and for all. However, in order for it to be done, we will be in need of a great power, one of which Voldemort knows not."

"The power inside the Cursed Vaults?"

"That has indeed been my theory for many years."

"And your theories are usually correct," Artemis said. Dumbledore chuckled softly, and she bit on her lip. "What is it, then? This great power? The thing that all these people have been searching and hurting and dying and fighting for?"

"The same thing for which people have searched, hurt, died, and fought since the beginning of time, and will continue to do so for as long as there are people still living to do so. It is a power that can cause great harm, but can also bring great strength, courage, and happiness. It is the greatest power any of us can ever hope to know."

She wasn't sure if Dumbledore was being especially cryptic, or if she was being especially stupid, but Artemis had no idea what her headmaster might mean. He smiled at her gently.

"The answer is love, Artemis."

"Love?" Artemis' nose wrinkled. "That's it? Just love?"

"Just love? My dear girl, have you not been listening to a word I said?"

"I dunno, sir. I don't really see how love can be this great power that can save us all," said Artemis. "I mean, how can anyone defeat a wizard like You-Know... like Voldemort using love?"

"The same way that you have used love to solve the riddle of the Cursed Vaults," Dumbledore replied. "Consider this, Artemis. Your brother's love for you was the thing that made him so desperate to keep you safe. Your love for him drove you to search for him against all odds. Your love for your friends kept you going through the darkest times in your life, and their love for you kept them by your side every step of the way. Your love for Rowan-"

"Got her killed."

"I never said that love wasn't dangerous. On the contrary, it can be exceptionally dangerous. Nothing so powerful could not be. Love can cause people to do terrible things, just as it can cause them to do the most wonderful things. In your case, love inspired you to honour Rowan's memory, to protect others, and to fight back against the Vaults until you had opened them all, a feat that no other witch or wizard has achieved since they were created in the time of Merlin and Morgana. It made you braver and better, it kept you going like a fire burning deep inside your heart. It has been - and continues to be - your greatest strength. It is all of our greatest strengths."

Finally, Artemis thought that something in all of this made sense. She nodded her head slowly.

"But Voldemort doesn't know this," she said.

"He does not. He has never known what it means to love, and so he underestimates the power of it. And that, I hope, will be his downfall," Dumbledore stood up and walked over to the Pensieve, still swirling in its stone dish. "We live in a strange time, Artemis. This is the calm before the storm. But the storm will come, make no mistake, be it in a year, or five, or fifty." He looked at Artemis with an expression that was neither happy nor sad. "Because of you, however, I now have an idea of how we might weather it. And for that, we should all be thankful."

There was a finality in his voice that made it clear that Artemis was free to leave. She walked across the office to the door, pausing by it to ask, "What do I tell the others? They're bound to ask me what I found in the Vault..."

"The truth," said Dumbledore. "Tell them what you found. But perhaps do not speak of the second prophecy. It would be most unwise to give away our most precious secret, after all."

"No," Artemis agreed. "I guess it wouldn't."

"Now, you'll have to excuse me, Miss Hexley. I have a letter to send to Azkaban about a prisoner who deserves to be set free."

Artemis left Dumbledore’s office feeling as if she had grown significantly older in just a few hours. Outside the windows, the lights of the battle against the cabal had dimmed, and she found herself wondering exactly what had happened in her absence.

She did not need to wait long to discover the answer to her question, for when she turned out of the gargoyle corridor and descended the grand staircase, she found the entire Circle of Khanna gathered on the stairs discussing the night’s events, the portraits on the walls gathering around them in a blatant attempt to listen to their conversation. A few of them had cuts and scrapes to their skin, and Charlie’s left arm was in a sling, but otherwise they looked largely unharmed. As she neared them, they caught sight of her.

“Artemis!” 

“Where have you been?”

“The others said you disappeared inside the Vault.”

“Yeah. Dumbledore managed to find me. I’ve just been in his office.” Several mouths opened, presumably to ask Artemis more questions, but she quickly continued, “Did you manage to capture the Cabal, then?”

“Yeah, we did,” Jae told her. His cheeks were flushed, though Artemis wasn’t sure whether that was due to the excitement of the battle or the fact that Chiara was currently using a piece of damp cotton wool to clean a cut on his temple. “Every single one of them. The Aurors have taken them away now.”

“They conjured these metal things to go over their hands to stop them from using wandless magic,” said Ismelda. “They were actually kind of cool.”

Artemis nodded. “Right. And the Cursed Vault?”

“Well, after you disapparated, the light in that column grew really bright,” Penny said breathlessly. “Almost blindingly so, actually. And then the Vault started to shake and rumble, until the walls started caving in on themselves. Luckily, Ben managed to blast a hole in the wall so we were able to escape.”

“We got out of there pretty fast. As soon as we were out the gillyweed started taking effect again so we managed to swim much quicker,” explained Tonks. She screwed up her face and held up a pair of webbed hands before demonstrating her swimming technique. “Just as well, really. Not long after we got out of there the whole thing crumbled completely, we heard it crashing against the floor of the lake, and then the light radiated out like shockwaves, or something, and swept us right out of the way.”

Bill raised his eyebrows. “I dread to think what it would’ve done to us if we’d been closer to the Vault at the time. By the time we regrouped and actually looked back, the whole cave had completely disintegrated.”

“So it’s really destroyed then? The Vault?”

“I think they might all be,” said Talbott. There was a bandage on his right foot in lieu of a shoe, and he looked even more disgruntled than usual. “I was out of the main fighting by that point because of my foot, and I saw the glow on the middle of the lake. There were more bright lights in the distance at the same time, and I’d say that they would’ve been in the right direction to have come from the forest and the library. I thought it was odd at the time, but I was more concentrating on what was going on in the courtyard.”

“That’s fine, Talbott, don’t worry. I’m sorry about your foot.”

Talbott made a noncommittal noise. Penny shuffled closer to him and his expression grew a little happier. On his other side, Merula rolled her eyes before turning to Artemis.

“Come on, then,” she drawled. “Tell us what it was.”

“What what was?”

“What was inside the light. The power inside the Vaults. What was it?”

“Oh,” Artemis frowned. She wasn’t quite sure what parts of her conversation with Dumbledore she should or even could tell them. “Well, that light was inside the column, and it felt like it wanted to take me somewhere. So, I let it. I disapparated, and it took me to this spring.”

“The season?” asked Barnaby. “Or a bed spring?”

“Neither, I mean a water spring, like where rivers come from. Except this wasn’t water, it was something else… I dunno how to explain it. It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before, and I couldn’t even see it properly, because it disappeared every time I looked straight at it.”

“Like a mirage,” said Badeea, her brown eyes wide. 

“No, it was real. Definitely real,” Artemis told her, shaking her head. “It was flowing somewhere and I followed it until it went down into a fountain, but when I looked back behind me, the stream of… whatever it was had disappeared.”

Chiara looked up from her bandages with concern. “Were you frightened?”

“Not really, no. It wasn’t frightening. Well, it was a little, but it was more the sort of frightened you get when you’re scared but excited, too. Mainly it just felt… nice. Really nice.”

“It sounds glorious, darling,” Andre said impatiently. “But what was it?”

Artemis shrugged. “Love, apparently.”

Her answer was met by a mixture of reactions. Penny’s blue eyes grew wide and wistful, Liz frowned behind her glasses. Ismelda looked almost repulsed, and Diego raised one sceptical eyebrow. Merula snorted loudly.

“That might be the most stupid thing you’ve ever said, Hexley,” she said. “And that’s really saying something.”

“Well, it’s what Dumbledore said.”

Tonks laughed. “Of course it was. He’s an old hippy, isn’t he?” 

“Think about it, Hexley. As if Morgan le Fay, the most powerful Dark Witch to have ever existed, would’ve gone to all that effort just to hide something like love.”

“Merula’s right. That makes no sense.”

“Doesn’t it?” asked Badeea. “I mean, they do say that love is the answer.”

“The answer to what?”

“Nothing specific, Barnaby. Just in general.”

“Oh, right,” Barnaby nodded sagely. “I suppose love is pretty powerful, isn’t it?”

“I still don’t think it makes sense,” Merula said. “Trust you to go to all that effort and not even manage to find out what this all-important power is. This is why you don’t put Hufflepuffs in charge of things.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just saying it how it is, Caplan.” 

“Maybe there’s another way to find out what it was,” suggested Jae. “Could you go back and getting some samples of the stuff?”

“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea! I could take it with me to France to analyse if I get good enough grades for my alchemy internship.”

“Or we could just try and analyse it ourselves,” Ismelda said. “Test it on some first years or something before we leave.”

“As the oldest person here, and former Head Boy, I think I’m going to veto that idea.”

“But we need to know what it is!”

“Do we?” asked Ben, and the others all stared at him. “I don’t think we do. Maybe Dumbledore’s right, maybe it is love. Maybe it’s not. Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“No, it doesn’t,” he shook his head. “Because we never set out to find out what was inside that Vault. That’s what the Cabal were doing, we were just trying to stop them doing it. That’s what made us different to them. It was never about power for us. It was about ourselves, about keeping the people we cared about safe. And most of all, it was about Rowan. We wanted to honour her by defeating the Cursed Vaults and the Cabal, and tonight we did both of those things. I don’t know about you lot, but I think that’s what really matters.” 

He took a deep breath and fell quiet. Charlie reached across with his good arm to pat him on the back three times, slowly.

“Well said, mate.”

The rest of the Circle of Khanna - for once - stopped bickering, and began to chat peacefully among themselves. Only one person remained completely silent, uncharacteristically so. Artemis sat down beside her.

“Hi, Tulip,” she murmured, and Tulip stopped scratching dirt from under her nails to look at her. “How are you?”

“How do you think I am?” Tulip asked, her lips twitching into a small wry smile. She sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know how I am.”

“Of course not.”

“I just… It’s weird. My dad and me, we’ve never been close, or even really got on. It’s not like we have anything in common. He’s so controlling, and he’s always spent more time at work than he has at home, but… But I thought I knew what sort of person he was, you know? I mean, he’s my dad, for Godric’s sake.”

“Yeah,” Artemis nodded. “I get that.”

“I suppose you do, after everything that happened with your brother.”

Artemis frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, even when people said all those things about him, because of that book, and after he went to Azkaban because of Duncan Ashe’s death, you-”

“That wasn’t his fault.”

“- still believed that he was good deep down. That’s exactly what I mean.”

“Yeah, but it’s different. Sort of.”

“Maybe,” Tulip shrugged, looking unconvinced. Artemis swallowed. She wasn’t sure that she was convinced, either. She wasn’t sure of anything right now. “I guess I can’t believe it. Not because I don’t know it isn’t true, but because it doesn’t feel real yet. Once it’s more real, hopefully I’ll know what to think and how to feel. Or not. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.”

Artemis nodded, her teeth grazing her lower lip. Suddenly, her friends’ quiet conversations seemed far too loud. She looked around herself, scanning the stairs for a way to get back to the comfort of her dormitory and Fergus the cat without anyone noticing her leave, but she couldn’t see one. Further down the steps, Charlie made eye contact with her.

“You alright?” he mouthed, and she shrugged in response. He cleared his throat before speaking aloud. “Do you think we ought to tell Duncan Ashe about the Cursed Vaults being destroyed? After all, he went looking for them years before any of us did, and, well…”

“I’ll go,” Artemis said quickly. “He knows me.”

She gave Charlie a grateful smile as she stood back up. As she rose to her feet, so did Bill.

“I’ll come with you,” he said. “Just in case… Well, you know what Duncan’s like.”

Artemis considered the offer for a moment before nodding her head, and together she and Bill made their way up to the fifth floor of the castle.

“What’s wrong, little one?” Bill asked her, once they were well out of earshot of the others. “You look pretty glum for someone who’s just solved Hogwarts’ greatest mystery.” 

He raised his eyebrows at her, and Artemis sighed deeply.

“It’s… Can I tell you some other time? I don’t think I have the words to explain right now.”

“Of course you can. I’ll even buy you a dictionary to help, if you like.”

In spite of everything, Artemis found herself smiling. Her smile faded, however, when they opened the door to the prefects’ bathroom. There was a ghost hovering above the sink, but it was not the ghost they were looking for.

“Peeves,” Artemis said, her hand instinctively reaching for her wand as the poltergeist floated closer to her. 

“Why, if it isn’t little Hexy. What is little Hexy doing here?”

“We might ask you the same question,” muttered Bill, and Peeves blew a raspberry at him by way of response. Artemis tried a different approach: telling the truth.

“We’re looking for Duncan Ashe, Peeves.”

Peeves let out a deep sigh before turning upside down and beginning to sing: “They seek him here, they seek him there, but they won’t find him anywhere!”

Artemis wrinkled her nose. “What does that mean?”

“Means that Duncan isn’t here anymore,” he said, turning back the right way up again. “He’s been sucked off.”

“He what?”

Peeves did not reply, merely floated upwards with raised arms and wiggling fingers. Not entirely sure that she understood what the poltergeist was trying to say, Artemis turned to Bill, who frowned briefly before a look of realisation appeared on his face.

“I think what he means is that Duncan has moved on.”

“Moved on to where?”

“Just on,” said Bill. Clearly, Artemis looked as confused as she felt, because he continued: “Well, not everyone becomes a ghost when they die. They say that those who do have some kind of unfinished business that’s still tying them to the life they had before death. Once that has been dealt with, they don’t have to keep hanging around.”

“So” - Artemis swallowed - “he’s just gone?”

Though she could not say that she had ever been overly fond of Duncan - he certainly had never been fond of her - she couldn’t help but feel sad that he had gone for good, no matter how Peeves put it.

“Hey,” Bill said, with a sympathetic smile. “Think about it. Duncan was kept here because the Vaults were still around, and now that they’ve been destroyed, he’s been allowed to go on to wherever he needs to go.”

“But-”

“He’s been set free, Artemis. It’s a good thing.”

Bill was right, of course. It was a good thing, being free. Artemis knew that much. Her heart lifted slightly. Maybe she could be free now, too.

“So, does that mean that the Vaults really are gone for good?” she asked, and Bill smirked.

“I can think of a way to find out.”

They left Peeves in the prefects’ bathroom, but instead of returning back down the grand staircase to find the others, they continued to make their way through the fifth floor. When they reached they easternmost corridor, they turned down it until they reached a hole in the wall where there had once been a locked door, several years ago. They stepped through it into the small room with the wall that hid the secret staircase to the first Cursed Vault. Artemis pointed her wand at the wall.

“Revelio!”

Nothing happened. Nothing was there. Scarcely able to believe her own eyes, she looked back to Bill. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and grinned at her, and she at him.

“Good work, Curse-Breaker.”

[chronicbeans]

Chronicverse John Keeny (the little cousin of Jonathan Crane):

This will include comparisons between him and Jonathan Crane, as well as info about just John.

TW: Cultish Behavior, Self Harm, Rituals, Religious Fanaticism, Paranoia, Samhainophobia (fear of Halloween), Exorcisms

🎃 He was such a sweet boy. He was practically swaddled and coddled by his parents - the complete opposite of how Jonathan was treated. As such, unlike Jonathan, he grew a deep love and appreciation for God and Christianity. He still has his own beliefs that are different than most of his family, but that obsession and fanaticism are still present.

🎃 When he grew up, he became a priest of Catholic faith. Then, he moved to Gotham and purchased a large mansion on the outskirts of Gotham City. This mansion is nowhere close to Jonathan's house, so neither of them know that the other is in Gotham.

🎃 He also believes that certain holidays are sinful and worship the Devil, such as Halloween. In fact, he has grown to have a deep-rooted fear of Halloween, which has morphed into Samhainophobia. Every October, he counts the days down until that fated day arrives, his paranoia rising as he does so. Even just seeing a Jack-o'-lantern makes him panic.

🎃 He owns an orphanage on the outskirts of Gotham, which is relatively close to Arkham Asylum, called The Keeny Orphanage. He bought the large mansion with the sole intention of converting it to an orphanage where he can take care of children that lost their parents, be it from a crime related incident (which is most of the children there), or by other means. While the children are there, he preaches about God, Christianity, and other religious topics with the goal of giving them hope and faith that things will get better.

🎃 He loves and cares about every child in his care, but that doesn't mean he treats them the best. He never intends to hurt them, but especially around Halloween, his paranoia gets the best of him. Halloween is the Devil's day! October could be the Devil's month, for all he knows. He firmly believes that demons, spirits, and other "hellish beings" can possess humans, and the poor children under his care may be more susceptible to their influence. If he feels as though one of the children has been possessed, he will gladly perform and exorcism to "save" them.

🎃 He has performed rituals in order to protect the orphanage from spirits. Again, these are mostly around and on Halloween. These rituals are one of the more cultish behaviors some of the Keeny family members present. These rituals, more specifically, blood sacrifices, involve self harm in the name of the Lord. John, however, takes it to a whole new level- so much so that, as a young boy, his parents were even concerned for him, despite the fact that they also performed these sacrifices. He doesn't require the children of the orphanage to participate, and actively tells them not to, as he sees himself as their protector from harm. In the back of his mind, he is well aware that these thoughts and actions for God are not normal, but he feels the need to do so, out of fear that failing to provide sacrifice will let demons and the Devil harm the children he cares for. He makes sure to perform this little ritual every Halloween.

🎃 He lives in the orphanage, having his own room on the top floor, next to the stairs to the attic. The attic is locked, due to that being where he performs his yearly rituals. The children live on the second and first floors, with John's room and the activity rooms being on the third floor. The first floor also holds the kitchen, cafeteria, a room for religious services, and visitor/adoption area. Not many people seem to visit, for some reason.

🎃 John wants to see Jonathan Crane, again. He genuinely misses him, having been forced to stop visiting him by his parents. If he were to meet Jonathan in Gotham, however, it probably wouldn't go well. Due to Professor Crane's criminal actions, fear of religion, and John's own obsession with religion and purity, they most likely would have a mutual fear of one another. Jonathan's seeming obsession with Halloween doesn't help. Even so, John would always love his older cousin, seeing him just as much as family as the Keeny family, even if the Keeny family doesn't see Jonathan as a part of them.