#eugh whatever. I'll be fine for now

[beesinspades]

my acid reflux issues had improved sooo much these past 8 months, I only took a rennie (equivalent of tums) every three weeks or so (usually the week before my shot or my "period", funnily enough), but these past couple of weeks I need to take one every couple of days 😭😭😭 why me......

no more space in tags so i'll just write it here: also around the time I did the ct scan (for my nerve-something pain that I'm getting an MRI for at the end of the month....third MRI in less than a year 🙄) the guy made me take ibuprofen three times a day for five days so he also had me take PPI blockers again for 10 days.....and boom two weeks later I have acid reflux again!! WEIRD TIMING!!!!!

also I still drink 99% water. I really feel victimized by this situation.

[chaotic-toasters]

Not So Bad

Katie McCabe x Reader

Warnings: so so so cliché

-----------------

"Quit yer' yappin', McCabe!" you grumbled, shoulder-checking the long-time gunner as you passed. "I dunno why Jonas has kept ye' for so long when all ye' do is complain."

Your national team captain scoffed, squaring up in front of you as you tried not to grin. "I should tell Eileen to make someone else vice-captain. Maybe have ye' benched, too."

"O-okay, that's enough," Leah intervened, pushing Katie back into position with a shake of her head. "Honestly, you two."

You sent Katie a discreet middle finger, a shit-eating grin on your face as you slipped back into goal. "Do better, McCabe, and stop whinin'! The time ye' took yappin' coulda been used to improve yer' shit shootin'!"

Her nostrils flared as the scrimmage started up again. "Yer' just askin' to be benched, aren't ye'?"

You laughed. "Please. Eileen wouldn't trust our backup keepers during the Euros, and Jonas wouldn't dare switch me out at this stage of the season."

"Will you two shut up?!" Steph hissed, turning around suddenly. "I can't focus on the new tactics when you two are going back and forth faster than Eminem can rap!"

"Sorry, Stephy," you responded, "I can't help it if McBake is gonna be so combative when I give her constructive criticism."

"Stop callin' me that!" Katie scowled. "That was one time, I swear!"

You snickered, easily stopping Alessia's long shot with your foot. "Dunno why it bothers ye' so much, Katiekins. I thought ye' had such good patience."

"OI!" Kim shouted, glaring at you and Katie. "Lotte can hear you both from the other team's backline! Quiet down!"

"Yes, Kimmy," you rolled your eyes, giving Katie a dirty look. "I'll try, but I have to defend meself if that one can't help herself and insults me."

"Y/N!"

You pouted. "Fine, fine."

Steph shook her head, lowering her voice so that only you could hear. "If you wanna talk to Katie so bad, ask her out and chat on a date. Not during trainin' when some of us are actually tryin' to focus."

You flipped her off. "Shut up, Stephy!"

--------------------

"Jonas, can't ye' put her on the wing?" you asked. "How'm I s'pposed to focus when she's breathin' down me neck?"

"For the final time, no," your manager denied. "Maybe against an easier team, but there's no way I'm changing up our formation against Chelsea just so you don't have to be near someone you don't like. Besides, you're a professional athlete, you should be able to put your differences on the field aside."

Kyra coughed as she passed, muttering under her breath. "What differences? They're practically the same."

"Shut up, Cooney," you retorted. "I'm nothin' like McBake over there."

Jonas sighed. "You're lucky you're so good at what you do, otherwise I'd have traded you already."

"Yeah, yeah," you dismissed, making your way onto the pitch for the second half. "Whatever ye' say, boss."

-------------------

In hindsight, the collision was your fault. Chelsea had won a corner, and as the ball came flying into the box, you'd tunnel-visioned, jumping up to grab it when an elbow collided with your head.

Now, it would have been fine since you caught the ball, but the impact from jumping into the Chelsea player's elbow made you lose your grip on it. Black spots danced in your vision as you fell to your knees, blindly trying to locate the ball as your teammates called for a foul. (Un)fortunately, you found it a few seconds later when it came hurtling at your face.

You squawked in surprise, falling backward at the second hit and blinking rapidly at the sky.

Though your vision was blurred, you could make out a two-layered wall of red surrounding you on both sides, a couple teammates kneeling around you.

You squinted when the person on your left started talking to you, reaching out your hand to grip their jersey and pull them closer so you could hear.

It took a minute, but your vision cleared as the medics made their way onto the pitch.

"Eugh!" You recoiled when you saw who you'd grabbed, reddening and furiously wiping your glove on the grass. "Why ye' so close to me, McBake?"

"Oh, she's fine," Leah said, dismissing the medics with a wave of her hand. "Y/N, try not to break your nose, yeah?"

You nodded distractedly, pouring water from your bottle onto your glove as you tried to disinfect it from Katie's germs. "Mhm."

Before play started up again, Katie mumbled in your ear. "I didn't know ye' were into me like that."

You flushed an even darker shade of red, rubbing the back of your neck. "Dunno what yer' on about, McBake. Get outta here."

"Hm," she looked unconvinced, walking away as play started up again. "Chat after the game."

You dismissed her with a wave of your hand, trying to shake off embarrassment. "Mm, fine."

------------------------

"I wasn't- oof!" you yelped as Katie snagged the back of your jersey, dragging you away from Steph and down the tunnel.

Once you were alone in the changing room, Katie released her grip, crossing her arms. "Do ye' think yer' courageous, Y/N?"

You raised your eyebrows. "Yes?"

"So if I dared ye' to do somethin' ye' would do it?"

You scoffed. "Yes."

"I dare ye' to kiss me."

"...what?"

"Did I stutter?" Katie questioned, voice low. "Don't think I can't see through ye'.

"I don't..."

Katie fisted the front of your jersey, leaning in to whisper in your ear. "I didn't know ye' were a chicken."

You could feel her smirk as you smashed your lips into hers, wrapping your arms around her waist.

When she pulled away, she patted you on the cheek with a grin. "Not so bad, eh? We should go out tomorrow."

You gave her a fake dirty look, nodding not-so-begrudgingly. "Fiiiine."

[salemoleander]

"My teeth hurt," Martyn says.

He and Scott are on the deck, enjoying the morning sun before it has the chance to get humid; Scott is busy crafting sugarcane into paper while Martyn is (ostensibly) trying to carve a bowl.

"What, like- cavities? We've only been here for a few days, and I know you're eating the same fish and dried kelp as me." Scott pauses, holding a fresh sheaf of paper. "-and if you're not, and you've been holding sweets out on me, I'll be pissed."

Martyn huffs a laugh, then grimaces when pain shoots up through his sinuses. Ambling over to the table, he half-sits, half-leans on the back of one of their deck chairs.

"Nah, same food as you. Man, I don't know what I did. TNT to the face carry over, d'you reckon?"

He grins, and Scott blanches. Well, shit.

"Alright, what's wrong with my mouth?" Martyn asks, stress rising when Scott doesn't answer. "I've still got teeth, right?"

Scott nods sharply. He wavers on an answer for a moment before sighing. "Yeah. You've just got some new ones, seems like."

‐---------------------------------------------------------------------

The hard part of suddenly having shark teeth, Martyn quickly discovers, is that they are not particularly designed for beings with lips, and certainly not ones that talk.

He tells Scott this, nursing several sore spots on his lips and tongue.

"Have you considered talking less?"

"Oh, screw you."

Scott rolls his eyes, and they go back to sorting through chests in companionable silence. Waves gently lap against the edge of their island, while bamboo canes creak and shift. After a few minutes Scott says, "In the- last time. I remember being relieved, a bit, that even though Cleo and I chose each other-"

"Exactly the conversation I wanted to have," Martyn deadpans.

"Would you shut up? Honestly." Scott smiles, but his jaw flexes as he does and Martyn resolves to shut up and let him say this, whatever it is. At least for the next ten or fifteen seconds. Probably.

"Anyways. I was a tiny bit relieved that I was paired with Pearl, because she was human. And I'd seen how it was for BigB getting canine features and Joel getting whatever the hell from Etho, and you, y'know..."

"Rotting?"

"Eugh. Yeah." Scott looks through their fence-lattice walls and out to the water. "But Pearl didn't stay human."

Martyn raises an eyebrow. (For effect. If Scott is doing a dramatic monologue towards the ocean, Martyn at least gets to make faces, whether or not Scott sees him. Them's the rules.)

"She got kind of... wolf-y? Or more accurately, the game made her wolfy. Not like Ren, not nearly that elegant a combination."

Scott's voice is bitter, an edge to it that Martyn associates with fireworks going off too-close by. "I woke up one morning and my teeth were sharp and there were too many for my mouth. And it hurt, and the worst part was knowing this wouldn't be happening if we'd just done what the game wanted."

Blinking, Martyn says, "Oh." Brilliant. Nailed the response, there.

"I just wanted to tell you. That it might- those might be my fault, because it seems like whatever runs this game doesn't like me very much. There's a reason I set up alone out here."

Martyn- ignoring the ache from his jaw and the kernel of self-interest that tells him to get while the getting is good- scoffs. "None of that, thank you! I don't care if bloody Herobrine has it out for you, we're sticking together."

Relief washes over Scott's face. Martyn adds, "If whoever runs this circus thinks unlimited knives for teeth is a punishment, they're mad."

"Clearly! You were already enough of a menace." Released from whatever tension kept him still, Scott reaches over to flip another chest lid up and starts rifling through. "It's like trying to annoy Joel by giving him too many TNT minecarts."

Martyn snorts. "Right! Once my mouth gets the memo about where everything is now I'll be doing fine- probably better than I was before! A supernatural entity trying to tell me who I can be friends with? C'mon, nothing that stupid is busting the Mean Gills up."

He almost believes it.

[dameronology]

love in an elevator (natasha romanoff)

summary: nothing will make you confront your ex like being trapped in a lift with her

warnings: language

eugh two natasha fics in a night?? no regrets. i love my wife. enjoy.

jazz xx

The key to a break up, you had come to learn, was distance.

Distance and space and time apart and whatever other bullshit it was that Vogue recommended every week. Maybe a glass of wine or two here and there, and a night out with your closest friends. You'd cycled through that process ten times over but getting distance from Natasha Romanoff felt near enough fucking impossible when she was quite literally everywhere. At work, in the office, at the Avengers HQ, in the streets. New York had become a thousand times smaller after your break-up.

Seeing her at work was unavoidable. After all, that was how you'd met. Natasha was easy enough to get on with back then; she was blunt and straight to the point but it was clear she cared deeply about the people she loved. You never imagined being one of them yourself, but when she'd asked you out after a few weeks of casual flirting and longing glances, it was hard to remember a time when you weren't. And not only were you somebody she loved, you were the person she loved most. The person she wanted to come home to everyday; the one she laid herself bare too and would have stopped at nothing to make you happy.

It had been a good year and a half. All smiles and a few rocky days here and there, but you never wanted to leave Natasha's side. She'd never pictured buying herself a ring for anyone, or even considering the idea of marriage, but the day she proposed had been the best of your life. Multiple promises had been made that day. I'll love you forever and I'm never taking this ring off.

Promises, as it was, were made to be broken.

Work got hard for both of you. Missions and long trips apart and your relationship basically becoming long distance. Each factor a tiny nail in your coffin but Natasha Romanoff would have been lying if she said she wasn't the one building said coffin and holding the fucking hammer. Because for every day she spent away from you was a day that she took a step back to her old ways. She became a closed off woman all over again, shutting you out and refusing to talk.

You'd have been a fool to let her treat you that way. Leaving was hard but like hell were you going to let her drag you down with her. She'd lost herself and now she'd lost you too.

Your break-up had been a wake up call. She'd gotten better - gone to therapy, started talking to people again, come back into herself. At that point she could have begged you to take her back, but what use was it? There was no promise that she wouldn't do the same again. The risk of hurting you was too high.

So, Natasha kept her distance and so did you - where you could, at least. Getting into an elevator with her wasn't ideal but you were running late for your meeting and hell, you couldn't wait any longer. That had been your main worry right then -standing next to your ex, wondering if you'd make it in on time- but as soon as the elevator shuddered to a halt and the lights went out, those worries seemed like a fucking vacation.

"Are you kidding me?" you huffed. "Tony Stark spends millions on this building but he cheaps out on the elevators?"

"Hey, it's fine," Natasha said - stoic as ever, but just as jittery as you. Not so much at the situation - it was hard to be worried about being stuck in a lift when you'd fought aliens - but rather at who she was with. "You just gotta press the emergency button-"

She stopped, watching as you began to punch the bright red button multiple times.

"Only once, though," Nat continued. "You don't want to break it."

"Jeez thanks, Natasha," you muttered. "Wisdomful, as always."

"I'm just trying to help."

"Well, you're not!" you snapped. "I'm running late for a meeting and I do not need this right now."

"This being stuck in a lift or this being stuck in a lift with me?"

You huffed. "Does it matter? I don't have time for this."

"We're literally stuck in an elevator," she shot back. "I'd argue you have all the time in the world."

"Fine," you muttered. "I don't like being stuck in elevators at the best of times but being stuck in one with my ex-girlfriend -my ex-fiance, even - is a little less desirable."

She gave you a smile. "There we go."

Natasha gracefully placed her bag down and took a seat on the floor of the elevator. She pulled a book out the front pocket and began to read, clearly not phased by the situation. You let out another loud sigh and threw your own briefcase to the ground, clumsily taking a seat beside her. Her green eyes flickered up from the pages, giving you another smile. This was so you. Making a scene, being over-dramatic at the slightest inconvenience. She'd been the reasonable one in your relationship.

Pulling out your phone, you began to violently type something.

"Who are you messaging?" she asked.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're about to crack your phone screen with how hard you're typing."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm messaging Tony to let him know what a dickhead he is."

"I don't think Tony's to blame-"

"- look, Natasha. My morning is ruined and I'm going to get so much shit from Fury for missing this meeting that I need to let it out, okay?" you cut her off. "Sometimes, it's just easier to have someone to blame."

"Do you blame me for our break-up?"

Your brows shot up, eyes widening. Okay, you hadn't expected that question. There hadn't been much conversation about your break-up. You'd just told Nat you were leaving and she hadn't argued. Even when you wanted her to - even when you were ready to beg and implore and beseech for her to want you to stay - you'd stayed quiet.

"W-what?" you stuttered. "No, of course not."

"Are you sure?"

"There are a lot of things in that situation that I'm not sure of but that isn't one of them," you insisted. "I don't blame you or me or anyone. I mean...yeah, you coulda tried harder but - why are we even talking about this?"

Natasha shrugged. "Like I said, we're stuck in a lift. Seems like a sign from the universe to ask this stuff."

"Right," you replied. "No, I don't blame you and no, I don't hate you and yes, I forgive you for anything you think I might be holding against you. Any more questions?"

"Do you miss me?" she quietly asked. "I miss you."

"All the time, Nat," you said. "Sorry I iced you out."

"You did what you had to," Natasha reasoned. "And quite honestly, I iced you out first, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

'I think...I think that losing you was the wake-up call I needed," she admitted. "For what it's worth, you're the reason I got better. The reason I am better."

You shrugged. "It's just what I do."

"Yeah, okay," Natasha laughed. "One more question -do you hate me for not calling you?"

"Yeah, a little," you said. "I guess some part of me always hoped that there was still a chance for us."

"Maybe there is."

You glanced over at her, eyebrows raised. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"Okay," you replied. "Dinner tomorrow night then?"

Natasha nodded, glancing back down at her book. "Yeah, sounds good."

[poyo-shooty-art]

I don't have another way to post this and my AO3 is forever marked with cringe so....

In celebration of me reviving this au, here's the original fan fiction from March!!!

(and some old ugly ass art)

Peppino stood panting, fists clenched as he stared down Pizzahead. He won, he can finally have his tower back. But Pizzahead started laughing as he got up.

"Is it really that easy to win?" He chuckled as he stood up and popped his back with a comical sound.

He pulled the death ray out of his pocket and grinned.

"Don't a you dare.... I'LL A PUMMEL YOU!" Peppino screamed, clearly ready to start another round.

Pizzahead leaned on the machine and smiled, "Oh don't worry. Your restaurant will be fine"

His hand glided towards a dial and twisted it.

"You however.... Won't go home anytime soon."

Peppino's eyes widened as the ray fired up, he had no way to escape. The exit is blocked and the only way down is a five story fall. He froze for a brief moment. And was struck with a powerful blast of energy....

The toonish pizza smiled and walked over to Peppino's body carefully.

"Well well well.... Looks like you have a big problem Peppino" Pizzahead laughed

Peppino opened his eyes and looked at Pizzahead and all he could do. Was scream

"YEEOOOOOOOOW"

This gave Pizzahead an opening to snatch the chef from where he stood with glee.

"Oh look at you! You're kinda cute when you're tiny!" He cooed

Peppino went straight to biting Pizzahead's finger out of fear.

"GET THE HELL A AWAY FROM ME!!!" He screamed

Pizzahead recoiled and gripped the Italian hard.

"Oh you're so silly!" He grimaced with a smile, "You can't even get away from me!"

He dropped Peppino in his overall pocket, he flailed and cursed Pizzahead out. But there was no escape to Peppino's knowledge, he was too busy trying to break the pocket and tear it to shreds. He is going to KILL Pizzahead when he gets his hands on him, no matter how small they are!

Pizzahead gleefully skipped to a room filled top to bottom with copyright free toy bricks, each making huge structures. One in particular being a crude model of the tower. Figures held together by an oozy and sticky cheese scattered on the floor.

Pizzahead grabbed Peppino by his tank top and smiled, "Welcome to your new home!"

Peppino's eyes darted around, he couldn't stay here at all! He is not going to be some glorified toy! He saw a small hole in the purple brink wall and hoped he could run fast enough to escape. Clearly he wasn't able to beat Pizzahead into a Pizzapulp right now

Pizzahead dropped the Italian on top of the miniature tower and smiled, "Now then! You get to stay here forever! With all these lovely buildings"

Peppino glared, if he wasn't wearing shoes he might as well have be standing on rocks.

Pizzahead clasped his hands together, "Now! Let's have a bit of fun!"

He picked up one of the figures and smiled at Peppino.

"Oh Peppino Peppino! Let down your hair!" He giggled

Peppino stared as the figure dripped with cheese, "uhhhh...."

"Oh wait! Your bald!" Pizzahead laughed at him, finding this hilarious.

Peppino's eye was caught by a rat sniffing around as he stared off in annoyance. However, Pizzahead's eye was also caught as it squeaked a bit too loud

"EUGH! A rat!" Pizzahead screamed as he grabbed a giant mallet and dropped the figure to chase it. It squeaked in apparent horror and scurried away down the hall.

Peppino has his chance! He had to make his escape fast.

Peppino took a deep breath, "Please don't come back, PLEASE don't come back..."

He jumped off the tower and hoped whatever was down on the floor would cushion his fall. If he failed, who knows what torment would await him. Dress up? Car crash? It didn't matter, it was all hell. And he needed to leave. He braced himself and hoped for the best.

* SPLAT *

Peppino had landed in a pile of cheese. He quickly tried to get out of the sticky cheese, as he heard the running approach. Periodically punctuated by the slamming of a giant hammer. Peppino's struggles went from frantic to panicked.

Then, it was too late. Pizzahead was back and still hammering at the rat. Then the rat ran towards Peppino.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT NO BAD RAT!!!!" He screamed

The rat ran up to him and started eating the cheese around him. Pizzahead hesitated to hit the rat now, if he hit the rat. He'd also hit Peppino, and he has *plans* for Peppino. He tried to grab Peppino away from the rat and his cheesy prison. However he was met with a nasty bite.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!-"

He tried to kick the rat, but it was too late. Peppino was free and was given no time. The rat grabbed the Italian by his shirt and dashed away as if its life depended on it. Pizzahead fell flat on his back and crawled after.

He chased the two through the room, heading straight for the large crack in the bricks. The rat galloped towards the hole and slid in last minute.

"Ok... Good rat... Now leave me al-OHHHH" Peppino screamed, at first trying to thank the rat for what it did.

Pizzahead stuck his entire arm in the wall to have a chance at grabbing Peppino.

"Oh Peppino!... Get out here!!..." He growled a bit peeved, far from a bit actually.

The rat just grabbed Peppino and ventured further into the walls.

"This is going to be a long day..." Peppino sighed, being held like a baby rat by the slowly breaking seam of his tank top.

It had been what felt like hours to Peppino, all the scenery was the same. Hard to see purple bricks with the occasional glob of pizza ingredients, the sound of the rats feet pattering on the cold stone and it's squeaking were the sounds he could hear.

He sighed, where was this rat taking him? It can't be far from some weird nest right?

"Stupid rat, saving my life and taking me to some stupid nest..." Peppino grumbled to himself.

The rat hissed slightly at that, this thing knows English.... Peppino rolled his eyes, he really didn't want to be in the walls anymore.

The rat stopped and tugged on a cloth and moved it out of its way, it made a straight beeline for a messy nest of scraps in a large opening. Peppino landed with a cushioned thud and looked at the cloths with disgust, he hoped they were clean. The rat licked his forehead and scurried off into another area.

"EUGH.... Gross..." Peppino cringed as he wiped his face.

He looked around the space, cheese, cheese, scrap fabric, more cheese. Yup, this is a rat nest. However a smell wafted through the area, like cooking. Good cooking even! Peppino got up and brushed himself off. He felt his tank top sag from all it's been through.

"Welp... This thing is about to give out....." He sighed as he peeled the pseudo apron off.

"Gonna have to fix this somehow when I get home..... If I get home..."

Peppino looked over at the hole the rat entered, and entered himself. Inside was an entire living space made entirely of "trash". A bed made from stolen cotton balls, fairy lights stolen from the resort, even a cracked piece of mirror stuck to the wall along with a bottle cap. A sudden clank of kitchen utensils made from outside Peppino freeze.

"Hello? Are you there?"

Who... Who was that?

Peppino panicked, was this one of Pizzahead's goons sent to get Peppino wherever he was? That weird clone mimicking a random person to lure people in? Whatever or whoever it was, he had to prepare. He grabbed the first thing he could grab, which was one of those god damned bricks.

"Great" Peppino groaned, "I can give them a slight foot pain!"

He took the brick despite the uselessness and approached the hole to the outside world. He could see a dingey kitchen floor and his heart sank. A small thud hit the ground and Peppino looked around, no clones....

"Oh! Down-a here! Or well, over here..." The stranger chuckled.

Peppino frantically looked around and locked eyes with the speaker, a smaller gentleman even smaller than him! Up to his chest was a portly man with a long tail and giant ears, his ears looked to be a mix between an elf and a rat. Was he... A rat person?

"U-um.... Hello?.. Two questions. Who are you? And... WHY DID YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?!"

The man scratched his head, "Right, my-a bad. I'm Gustavo! And I didn't mean to! You were supposed to stay put, maybe Brick didn't tell you....."

Peppino stared, who the fuck was Brick?

"Oh! I'm cooking something for us, I managed to find a kitchen! And it's completely empty. Kinda like this entire part of the building..."

Peppino grabbed Gustavo and tried to make a break for the wall, as he made a startling revelation. This kitchen was empty, because it was the clone's.

Gustavo held his ground however, "Woah woah woah! Food first... Then we can figure out what's wrong with you."

Peppino looked at the man like he was crazy, "I AM TOO SMALL, WE ARE IN THE KITCHEN OF A MONSTER, WE NEED TO LEAVE!"

Gustavo didn't listen, as he hummed a little tune and miraculously dragged Peppino away from the wall. Their only escape from any horrors beyond this point.

Gustavo crawled his way back up to the stove and Peppino watched him, he watched him cook.

[estevnys]

eventually i'll clean this up but. for now. i wrote this at 1 am on my phone please ignore any terrible typos and selling mistakes. wren (tav mentioned here) is a purple tiefling feylock/tempest sorceror. her and gale are definitely Not. In Love. (They are in love)

It is not, he makes very clear, laying by the fire and practically beating off Shadowheart and Astarion with a stick for their incessant gossip hounding, any of their business whether or not he and Wren are together.

"Is it because. . . You know. . " Astarion raises his eyebrows to make clear his teasing tone. He shoots a glance to Shadowheart, which Gale follows, and then it is a strange voyeuristic showdown-- he watching the two of them waggle eyebrows at each other and then back at him.

"I surely don't know what you mean." He says, and it is the truth.

Shadowheart giggles. "And you claim to be the smartest among us." Her gaze slides momentarily to his chest, and his heartbeat flickers in time with the orbs incessant thumping. I'm here, it says and it is Mystra's voice, always her voice, don't forget the debt you owe. After the panic subsides, he realizes that Shadowheart cannot also hear Mystras mocking tone, and instead is just staring at his shirt.

When Gale remains speechless, glancing again between the two of them and then down at his shirt , they begin to giggle like schoolgirls.

"Whatever it is, it's not funny." He says with a frown.

Astarion, mid cackle, slaps his thigh in his merriment at Gale's suffering. "Oh, it definitely is, darling."

"Well then, if its such a laugh, spit it out." He motions his hand at them, his joy at a fire night by the fire with some of his excellent cooking quickly fading at their shenanigans.

"Well we're just curious." Shadowheart starts, but is cut off by her giggles. Gale's frown only deepens. "You and Wren--"

At the mention of their resident Sorcerer, a summer storm with legs, and all around chaotic miscreant, Gale stiffens. Had they not be discreet enough?-- he hadn't wanted to embarrass her, in fact he'd wanted the opposite it was his idea after all that they keep this whole thing quiet--

"Oh, stop freaking out. Its fine! We all need our. . . Orbs touched once in a while." Astarion says, almost choking on his wine.

Gale scoffs, "My condition is nothing to laugh at, I assure you--"

"Yes, of course, but you know what they say, tragedy is just comedy with worse timing and all that." If he could, he'd punch the damn vampire in the face this instant, or, more likely, blast him with a firebolt right to the chest. But he was a better man than that. At least he wanted to try to be a better man than that.

"Fine." Gale huffs.

Shadowheart steals another playful glance at astarion, and the vampire spawn finally gets out with it-- "We were just wondering, really, what the whole deal was with you two. So many whispers and secrets and soft caresses. Eugh." He gagged dramatically, which only made Gale want to strangle him more. Did the man have no class? No sense of romance?

As soon as the thought hit him, he realized its coldness. It sounded like another non-caring figure he'd rather avoid in his life for now.

"We just want to know," Shadowheart looks at his shirt again, and as she says it, it hits him as well. Hot blush creeps up his cheeks. "Is it because she's purple?"

Gale wishes he could blow up right here. Right now. The embarrassment would be less than that. "Its fine if it is, I mean. You two do kind of match, in a cute way."

[lazypanartist]

Hello hello, one blind box fic for your enjoyment! Please be aware there is medical terms, blood and injuries in this, though nothing too awful. However if you find this too much, give me a heads up and I will whip up something else.

-📝 nonnie

--

"DONNIE!!!"

The soft-shelled brother bolted upright, quickly looking over to the large metal door of his lab being opened to four figures.

A pale looking Leonardo, a frantic Mikey, Raphael who looked about ready to cry, and-

"UH." Donnie blinked hard, feeling his stomach wrench at the sight of your leg. "Okay. Okay uh, don't- urf, ogh okay. Okay. Put them on the table, I'll need to have some…Assistance…Oh that is deep."

"We were skateboarding and they fell off the ramp!" Raph explained, setting you down on a medical table. "They came in at a bad angle and landed right on the board, and a piece, well…"

"Got it. Any medications that I should be aware of? Blood thinners, etcetera?"

"No."

You looked up, stressed but far, far more calm than the rest of them. Like you weren't the one with your shorts leg pulled up as high as it would go and a gash in your leg the size of your hand, and who knows how deep.

"Alright, Raph, hold their leg still while I flush the wound out. This is going to…Really, really hurt, but I need you to be still okay?" Donnie said, waving Leo over who rushed to him with a squeeze bottle full of really hot water. Michelangelo held your hands tightly, his grin pinched.

"Squeeze my hands when it hurts, okay."

"Mkay. Thanks for helping me out, guys. I usually bandage myself up but this one's out of my skill range. And arm. I can't sew it up at that angle, maybe I need to go to the hospital though- eugh, but the climb up top…"

Donatello took the bottle and began to flush the wound with the hot water, making sure to clean it thoroughly. Steam wafted up and he scrunched his nose at the metallic smell. "What do you mean?? Do you have something, are you anemic, what?"

"I have cognital-whatchamacallit to pain."

"Congenital insensitivity to pain? Wait-" The violet clad turtle sat up straight, accepting a towel from Leo and pressing it to your wound.

You blinked in response and gave a quick squeeze of Mikey's hands. Not from pain, no, from nerves.

You couldn't feel pain, after all. Or temperature.

"...That's pretty massive. Why didn't you tell any of us?" 

"Yeah. Whatever that means sounds pretty important!" Leonardo huffed, gathering whatever medical supplies his twin asked for.

You shrugged. "I mean, it's not a big deal. I do my injury checks every few hours and I'm decent at not like, hurting myself. I bought a chew stim thing to help my stress and now I don't tear up my lips or tongue as bad anymore, and like I said, I usually can patch myself up or know to get help, this one just is in a bad spot. Besides, I'm fine."

Leo passed over thread and a needle. "Wait, you can't feel pain??"

"Yeah, or sweat, or feel cold or hot, it sucks."

Mikey's nose wrinkled as he frowned, keeping your eyes on him. "I mean, I don't see why that's like…a bad thing though. Getting hurt is awful."

"They can't FEEL when they get hurt, so if they don't notice it, they can have a bad wound that just gets worse, like if they walked on a broken leg." Raphael continued to hold your leg firmly, like you would suddenly feel it and jump. The eldest hissed in sympathy as the disinfectant was poured over the wound, the astringent smell sharp and burning. "And no body temp regulation? Means summers and winters are very dangerous."

You nodded at Red's explanation. "Yeah. I tend to have a lot of issues during extreme weather and stuff. I usually just hole up in the house during those times, but…I can't live in a bubble, y'know?"

Donatello threaded a needle after making sure it was sterile and, after shuddering, he quickly began stitching the wound on the back of your thigh. "So, we should probably give you an x-ray when this is all done. Just to be sure you dont have any fractures or breaks you aren't aware of…"

You agreed quietly, squeezing Mikey's hands again.

"...So, why again didn't you say something about this?"

Shame made your face ruddy as you refused to look at Leonardo. You couldn' help shrugging meekly and looking elsewhere with a sigh.

"You'd all treat me differently. Everyone always does once they find out. You already are."

The group of teens all stared at you, and you worried your lip-

"Ah! Nope, hey-"

Michelangelo's thumb pulled the flesh from between your teeth and shoved your chew necklace in your mouth. Your face went red, and he shrunk back from your glare. You were humiliated, and now everything was different.

You hated it.

Rolling your eyes, you spat the silicone shape out of your mouth and looked away. "Yeah. Definitely already are…"

"I-I'm sorry."

"We just want to look out for you, this is dangerous and-"

"Do you think I'm…what, an idiot who hasn't dealt with it my whole life?!" You snapped at Raphael, at everyone. "Someone who doesn't know?? I take care of myself! I check myself, I monitor the heat and the cold, I make sure to clean and bandage any wounds I get! I know stoves burn, I know what frostbite is, I LIVE WITH THIS!" Shaking, your eyes welled as frustrated tears stung your eyes.

"This wasn't even my CIPA's fault. I just suck at skateboarding. My injury was not due to my nervous system issues. But now, you're going to freak out, and bubble wrap me and pretend I can't cook my own food or make my own bed or walk to the damn transit without holding someone's hands. I know it's dangerous, and I've messed up a few times or was unaware of an issue, but I'm better now, better at taking care of myself. I know the mortality rate is high, and I'm FINE."

Breathing came out in strained puffs, and you longed to pick or scratch, but you resisted, opting instead to toy with your jacket's zipper as you looked away. "Look, just…stitch me up, and let me go to the home. I shouldn't have sai-"

"You're right."

You looked over at Donatello, who had finished closing the wound and had now wrapped the spot.

"Mh?"

"You're right. We treated you like you don't know your own illness. I'm…Sorry." He sighed and stood up, taking the various materials with him to clean. 

"I think it just…scared us." Baby Blue suggested, scratching the back of his head. "I mean…That was a lot of blood. I thought you were in shock at first."

"Yeah." Mikey nodded. "And when I heard that you could be mortally wounded and not even know, it just made it worse. For all of us. I think we all started having a bunch of 'what if' scenarios and feared the worst without thinking about what really happened."

You sighed, propping your head up with a hand. "I'm sorry for yelling. That wasn't cool."

"It's fine," uttered Raphael, gently patting your leg. "I'm sorry I freaked. I know…you pro'ly don't need the help, but…can we keep a closer eye out for ya? Make sure you're aware of any injuries?"

You looked down at your hands. You remembered getting that scar on your palm from grabbing a hot cookie sheet from the oven. You had been alone at the time and, though you ran it under water when your realized your mistake, you hadn't done it nearly long enough, and the burn ended up quite nasty. The one on your chin was from shaving and taking something more than facial hair. The scars from your surgery when a broken rib you didn't know about punctured your lung were like railroads across your torso.

You loved your freedom, but…

You sighed, nodding slightly. "Okay. Okay I…You can help me when I get hurt. Just…I'm not glass. I'm a person."

"How about," Donnie started, coming back with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and shooing his brothers away. "He's going to give you an X-ray, no worries- How about, if you have like…an accident when you're around us, you get the right to do your own check first. We can do them for places that are hard to see for you if you need, and if whatever happpened seems bad enough, we will ask to give a second opinion check. Is that…okay?"

You mulled it over quietly.

"If I'm doing something self-destructive, give me a moment to realize it before you correct me, okay?"

Leo nodded. "You mentioned you were getting better, if you think that would help then absolutely."

"And I want you to not beat yourselves up if I get hurt. It's going to happen, okay? It's best to just, deal with it and move forward from there.

Mikey agreed, watching the violet turtle drone sweep a beam up and down your form as you laid out on the medical table. "Yeah. We can do that."

"Alright…Alright then, sure. Just…please no coddling."

Raph smiled softly, his snaggletooth poking out some. "We'll try our best, though we might need a reminder from time to time."

You smiled and nodded, welcoming their help.

–

"Yeah you broke your wrist, probably from trying to stop your fall."

"Ah damn." You huffed, looking at the swollen joint. "At least it wasn't my rib again."

"I CALL DIBS ON THE FIRST CAST SIGNATURE!!"

"Hey, no fair Leo!"

"You snooze you lose baby bro."

"Raph wants second! I have a big autograph!"

"Adorable that you three think that I wont be signing first since I am, you know, casting their arm."

You smiled at your friends. Yeah, you think this could work.

Aww!! Not-so-hurt to comfort! Love how they all backed off when the reader told them off, and everyone came to a compromise ☺️ Wish people IRL would do the same when they find out someone is disabled in any way 🙃

This is rlly cute though! Thank you so much!!

[stobinesque]

WIP Weekend!

Once again tagged by @steves-strapcollection for a WIP game! (Gerry you are like half the reason phryctoria is nearly done, lol)

THE RULES

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

THE WIPS

wigwag (AKA Stobin go to Indy and Steve gets some (OMC) dick; AKA sequel to phryctoria, which is now revisions (and ch. 2 should be up tomorrow)!)

S4 Fix-it: Lucas POV

Stobin soulmate au

steddie week: day 1 [hunger] {I never finished or posted this one, but I want to start getting my Steddie week fics up on ao3!)

Not tagging anyone, but please please join in and tag me in to say I tagged you if you want to participate. (I'll also make note of it for the future!)

SNIPPET

from wigwag! alas i am not particularly close the nsfw bits yet, so it's entirely PG below the cut

"Guess what I have?" Steve asks when Robin dumps herself into his car on Friday afternoon.

"Please tell me it's something edible," she groans. "I'm starving."

"Unfortunately not, but I can make us some pasta when we get to your place."

"I would love you forever," she says with her puppy dog eyes. No wonder he'd tricked himself into thinking he had a thing for her. She's adorable.

"You already do, dingbat."

"Yeah...well..." she trails off like she's searching for an argument to that point. "That's true," she says, giving up. "So what is it then?" She asks as she buckles her seat belt.

Steve reaches into the cup holder and pulls out the plastic card there.

"Oh shit! Is that my fake?"

Steve laughs. "It is indeed. Your name is Rowan Buck and you were born on January 10th of 1965."

"Eugh. A Capricorn."

"What in the heck is a Capricorn and what is your problem with them?"

"Oh puh-lease--don't act as though a Leo such as yourself doesn't read your horoscope on the daily."

"Okay fine, I know what a Capricorn is, broadly speaking. I still have no idea why you'd have a problem with them."

Robin shrugs. "I don't, really. Just thought it would be funny to say."

"You're hilarious," Steve deadpans.

"Okay, you say that like you don't think it's true, but need I remind you of 'I've laughed more this summer than I have in a really long time'?"

"I never said that."

"You did."

"Must have been an alternate version, then."

"Yep," Robin says, popping the 'p' with a smug little smile. "Also known as 'truth serum Steve.'"

"Ugh, whatever, fine: you're hilarious," he concedes.

"Thank you." Robin holds her new ID up to the light. "You're sure this will pass inspection?"

Steve shrugs. "I got it form the same person who did mine."

"Yeah, sure, but we're dealing with small town dives down here, not big city bar tenders."

"Yeah, actually, I think the fact that we're up against everybody-knows-everybody-itis in Hawkins makes is more impressive that my fake works anywhere. Also--I don't think Indianapolis really counts as a big city."

"Touche."

"So...tomorrow? Wanna try our hand at hitting up a gay club?"

"I'd love nothing more, Stevie."

[nottherealajhq]

Hello....... I Found this Blog and i quite Enjoy it.... What a fun Place... :-)

Oh my, Hello Hello to you too, "Jammer"! Interesting way to put it, huh? :) I mean, come on, when's the LAST time someone said they... "Enjoyed" this account? :) HAH, you really can't expect much from the Blog-Running business though, eh? I'm sure you understand that perfectly well... "Jammer." :) But where are my MANNERS? If you so happen to think of this... "Place" as so "FUN", how about you prep yourself for only the FINEST of entertainment! Just... on.... the...... horizon...........

...Uh huh! Yep, just a.... NORMAL BOUNCY HOUSE... That I can see, uh, SEE, perfectly fine!

Eugh, LOOK, I can LOOK without ANY problem! Which is to say, er... I already get enough FLACK from everyone else about this! I don't need to hear it from the Jammers, too! :( Bigfoot only knows I hear from you FREAKS constantly, time and time and time again, unable to ever escape the...

Bigfoot FUCKING damn it, I already TOLD you, I'm focusing on the stupid image, STOP telling me to...

...You can't be serious. ANOTHER one? I mean- the bouncy house is one thing but this- How do you even EXPECT me to be able to tell what it is?! I can't even discern a number or letter or even-

Ah, well... I mean, I CAN see the image just fine, but doesn't this seem EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY? Whatever! Whatever. I'll humor you, Jammers. :) In an incredibly HYPOTHETICAL scenario, where I did have these so called "ISSUES" that all of you seem to CLAIM that I have, WHICH I DON'T, it's not like they're interfering with my job and livelihood in ANY SINGLE WAY. Let's drop the damn subject already, Jammers. :) It really, REALLY doesn't matter, I have other things... to....

Oh, fuck off. This is just getting silly now. Hah, kinda like how you "JAMMERS" said this blog was, right? HAHAHA! Hehe. I guess I can see it. :) That's what we're here for, right? For this blog to be FUNNY, to be FUN, in some capacity or another...

...Get this chart out of my fucking face. I can READ the LETTERS, and I don't need to FUCKING prove it to you! AND YES, that means you, you, you, you, ALL of you Jammers reading this! I promise, you'll get no gain trying to ""prove"" some MEANINGLESS ""point"" about...

YOU KNOW WHAT, you fucking know WHAT, Jammers? FINE! Fine!!! I'll let you get your fucking kicks, I'll show you that this is a GIGANTIC WASTE OF OUR TIME. See, starting from the top, there's...

...That's a... It's clearly... Right. Hm, uh, I know for certain it's...

..HAHAHAHA! WELL, JAMMERS! :) I mean, we're- I'm sitting MUCH more far back than you would at MOST eye doctors, CLEARLY it's unbalanced! Here, see, I'll just get a bit closer, and we can put all of this behind us and-

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[thegeminisage]

its DUNGEON TIME!!! finally. i didnt do this yesterday bc i was wiped and i didnt wanna teleport away with poor riju...i have no idea if she'll leave or get stuck there or what

this one looks really complicated...but i'm gonna see how far i can get w/o a guide

omg when you go up on your glider riju is like...i'll leave that area to you link! she can't fly 😭

i see mirrors up here but no light source.......MAN the nostalgia im having rn. this is so much like oot

FOUND IT....

omg wait this construct fused a mirror to its shield...mirror shield...WAHHH

oh that took me STUPIDLY long to figure out but i love that i didn't have to look it up (stopping the wheel with the stake)

apparently i can ascend into the final floor but i really don't wanna do that by myself lol

omg lol there was a hive in this room that also had constructs...they fought each other!! i kept waiting for the read to like Jump the construct but it just swung at it. do they truly not do that in this game.........

oops i accidentally warped outside of the temple with ascension...i gotta be more careful lol. quick warp back but the enemies respawned, no blood moon needed

also the puzzle reset itself :/

got the last one! i only wound up looking at a guide for one, but i accidentally read how to do another first, and then the one i was looking for i also discovered how to do while i was doing that one. so all in all a success

eugh i'm scaaared i dont wanna fight a giant BUG!!!

for once im low on food too. im gonna get my ass beat lol

NOOOOO the first half was fine but now shes SUMMONING REDEADS.....................

im not gonna get jumped im not gonna get jumped im NOT gonna get jumped!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO SCARY FUCK FUCK FUCK I KEEP SHOOTING THEM FROM ONLY INCHES AWAY THEY ARE SO FAST

IM NOT!!! GONNA GET JUMPED!!!!!!!!!

BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T GET ME IN THE LIGHT

elated. wow. that was so close. im never leaving this little column of light again

rip i have to. but. don't wanna.

GOT all the hives without getting jumped

GOT HER ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you CANNOT fuck me i am UNFUCKABLE im not getting jumped today tomorrow next year FUCK off

sorry to riju but her ancestor is HOT. ok im taking this seriously

wait. i just realized these expository cutscenes use the sacred realm melody from oot for just a few notes. AAAAAAAAAAAAA that makes me INSAAAAAANE

"he was our chief before he became obsessed with power and changed" HAUGH........good guy ganondorf....................im making him real in my mind palace

wait sorry hold on. im pausing this cutscene again. i was spoiled that the fifth sage was a construct. which i thot was lame cuz it shoulda been a sheikah. but im looking at this image of them - four sages with helmets, one each for rito zora goron and gerudo - then a hylian, zelda - and then a ZONAI, mineru......that makes six! just like oot! and rauru as the leader/seventh sage, like zelda in oot...two hylians in oot and two zonai in totk...THERE ARE SEVEN OF THEM. what if MINERU gets put inside the construct!!! because didn't zelda put her soul in that purah pad or whatever!!!!!! oh my god.........if this turns out to be the case i think i've earned that bingo square. it wouldn't be true to the letter but true in spirit. i've earned that!!!

damn...they way both this ancestor and urbosa feel it's Personal w ganondorf bc he is also gerudo...he's literally staining their good name...

WAAHHHH riju going "my responsibilities as a leader, as a sage, AND fighting alongside you............sounds like fun >:)" she is TOO YOUNG...so much responsibility...wah

omg you can just walk around here now? without crossdressing? did they chicken out of a crossdressing plot in this game...............smh nintendo. i know it wasn't perfectly executed in the first game but they could have just tried again

FINALLY here is mattison...idk why i couldn't find her before the shroud lifted!!!

ok, i gotta take a break and do Chores, i'll figure out what i'm doing next later!!!

[dek-ubo]

In "Top Wing Big Swirl Games", Rocco is clearly skilled in skateboarding, but for some reason doesn't have a skateboard of his own. Filling out plotholes is my passion so I wrote a small oneshot about that, as you do.

"Do you think I should show my one-hand trick, or the tail one?" Rocco asked, going up and down on the skateboarding ramp.

"Oh, the tail one, definitely." Chomps answered. He was sitting underneath a tree next to the ramp, while its branches were occupied by two bats.

"Yeah, it's more unique!" Betty followed up.

"And no cadet can do it." Baddy added. Betty sent him a glare.

"What? I mean–"

He paused.

"No one else can, now that I think about it. Except for Chomps."

The mentioned reptile only hummed, since he wasn't actually that interested in skateboarding in the first place.

"Alright, tail it is then!" Rocco stated, doing said trick on the top of the ramp. 

"But, y'know, try to not take this competition too seriously." Betty said. "I know you rarely get to show off your skateboarding skills, but– this was literally organized today. I don't think anyone cares about it that much."

"I do." Baddy muttered out. "If you'll need any– y'know, help, I'll be around."

"You are not competing." His sister said coldly. "So we won't get involved. It's Rocco's contest."

Baddy groaned and leaned on the branch behind him, but didn't argue.

"Don't worry, I'm not worrying about it too much!" Rocco answered, jumping on the board. "I'm just there to have fun and show what I can do. I'm not there for the prize."

"Speaking of, what's the prize for this, anyway?" Chomps chimed in. "Is it something shiny? A treasure?"

"I dunno. Maybe a cup?" Rocco stopped on the top of the ramp, picking up his skateboard to a standing position and resting his chin on it. "Whatever Smurkturski can come up with in one day."

"Eugh, might as well be a lame souvenir, then." Chomps sighed. "Nothing worth anything."

"A souvenir would be nice, though! They're pretty. And cool sometimes." Rocco protested, remembering the souvenirs from the pearl-themed turtle train trips.

Chomps only shrugged with a slightly disapproving sound. Rocco decided to get back to skateboarding and put his board back on the ground before starting to go down the ramp. He was gaining speed, as expected, when suddenly–

The board catapulted him forward, leaving him to awkwardly fall into the bushes next to the ramp. Something else happened to the board, and he heard a cracking of some wood, but he couldn't see that from his position.

Next thing he heard was Baddy erupting into a short-lived laughter before getting lightly whacked by Betty while Chomps ran up to him and pulled him out of the bushes.

"Crap, are you okay?" He asked. "That was a hella weird fall."

"Yeah– Yeah, I'm fine! Don't worry about it." Rocco said, waving with his hand. 

"What happened to my board, though?"

"It's, uh… broken." Betty answered. Rocco looked back at the ramp, where both bats were standing over the spot where the accident happened. Betty was holding one half of his board, while the other one was stuck in a hole in the ramp made by a cracked wooden plank.

"The ramp must have been too weak in this spot, and it just– broke on you."

"And on your board."

Rocco walked up to them and held up both pieces together, trying to think of a solution.

"Is there…no way to fix this, or something?" He asked, turning towards Betty. She shook her head.

"Not really. It broke in the part that takes in the most pressure, so it'd be too unsafe."

"Ah." Rocco simply said, looking down at what was once his board.

"Well, what are you gonna do now?" Chomps asked. "Can't really compete with this."

"I don't know… I don't have an extra board, and I can't get a new one so fast…"

"You can steal one." Baddy shrugged. The rest of the crew looked at him. "You two stole worse things in the past, why would a board be a problem?"

Rocco hummed in response. He never really stole anything by himself, but…how hard would that be, anyway? Just take a board. Maybe give it back later.

"Yeah, that's a good plan! I'll do that tomorrow."

"Yeah, it should be easy then with all the skateboards around!" Chomps stated before looking up at the sky. "But, eh, I think we should get going for today. It's getting dark."

The group agreed on that and split up, with Chomps and Rocco heading back to their vehicles while the bat siblings went who-knows-where. Even with the contest clearly being organized in a haste, all of them were looking forward to seeing the results of it the next day. 

[wildcatofgreen]

"Kinda... kinda wish you could stay, Lyli. I think... bein' without ya's gonna be harder than ever, now."

"Yeah, I... eugh. I don't wanna go, either.

"But... I still haven't learned anything. Not really. It's mostly getting down that old language."

"Yeah, I... can't imagine that'd be easy 'ta jus' learn. Lotta ways 'ta... pronounce stuff, I guess?"

"Not just that. I have to learn the written language, too. It's not even a little similar to Hanzi! Or even common!!! It feels like I'm doomed."

"Awh c'mon, I know my girl can get through it! Sierra, I'd help ya if I could. Soon as I figure out how 'ta use that damn gem 'ta my benefit...!"

She giggled, "Oh you don't have to! I'll be fine on my own. Besides, I'm not sure how much work I could get done with you around!"

"An' what's that's supposed 'ta mean? Can't handle the Carol for too long?"

"Kinda. Stones know you're gonna distract me until the Kingdom Stone's back."

"Wooooooow, I can not believe this is how you're treating your girl--

"...Uhm."

"...That's what we are now, right? We're... together?"

"I... think... so? R-Right? Like, it's... it's an open an' shut deal, r-right? W-We kissed an' everythin'!!!"

"Yeah. It's... Yeah."

"An' we'll like... visit each other, yeah? Like we ain't jus' gonna go back 'ta normal after this, right?"

"I... can't imagine why we would!"

The dragon wrapped her arms around the wildcat, giving her a tight embrace. The feline returned it in kind.

And, when they looked at each other again.

The wildcat snuck in a little peck on the dragon's lips.

"Stones, you're adorable."

"I AIN'T ADORABLE!!!" She broke hug and folded her arms against her chest.

"Go an' catch your flight or whatever!!! Don't be late--Iun't wanna hear about a dragon hangin' off the plane's wing."

"I'll be fine! Can't be much worse than a cat stealing the plane after all."

She blew a raspberry at the dragon, and the dragon blew one right back!

"I'll catch ya later, Carol!"

"Catch ya later, Lyli!!"

As the dragon curled up into a ball and released all of her energy into a boost to the opposite direction of the feline, the wildcat simply sighed.

She felt... giddy. Sure, there was some remorse in there, too, but... Hell, this is what she wanted. This is... what she always wanted.

The only thing missing out of this equation was the Battlesphere thing. Had her once chance and blew it entirely. Damn it.

But, stones, who knows what would've happened if she didn't take that chance. If she didn't decide on yesterday, along with her... her...

Stones it's hard to even think about it. It sounded impossible! Was it even real???

She grabbed at her scarf and sighed happily.

She was so lucky it was.

Lyli's her... girlfriend. And she can boast that to the high heavens, if she so wanted to.

Thank the stones for her luck. Thank the stones.

[ranhaitanisgf]

❝ mornings with ace trappola ‼ ❞

↪ otherwise read as: the various ways ace will make excuses to get close to you

[𖤐] hey twst nation .... how r we 2day !! my first work ever for twst! ive just been having too much ace brainrot okay, i needed to write this. i promise i'll get back on the tokyo revengers + nanbaka grind and finish all the reqs but JUST LET ME HAVE THIS OKAY. anyways. fellow ace luvers PLS ENJOY !! xoxoxo

masterlist

♡ i think out of all the twisted wonderland boys, ace is the one who is the most chaotic to wake up with in the morning. he's not very much of a morning person, but the consistent wake up call at heartslabyul has transformed him into a morning person, (quite against his will).

♡ before his antics though, obviously, the first thing he will do is admire your sleeping figure beside him, treasuring all the details of your face while you rest. he swears, it's not in a creepy way! he just gets a fuzzy feeling in his chest when he looks at you, and this is the only time he can unabashedly stare at you without judgement from anyone, (deuce already gets on his case for being so flirty with you, so he doesn't need anymore of that).

♡ however, once he's finished admiring you, he will immediately try to wake you up. he'll start off small, whispering your name in your ear, then slowly increasing his voice in volume. if that doesn't wake you up, he'll proceed to stick fingers into your ear, nostrils, and even your mouth. if that doesn't wake you up, then his last resort will be roll over onto you, his full weight never failing to wake you up lest you get crushed by him.

"a-ace, can't breathe..." "finally, you took so long!"

♡ (although he will never admit it, the reason he goes to such lengths to wake you up is because he misses hearing your voice and seeing your eyes; he also loves seeing the various expressions you make in response to whatever is going on around you at the moment. put shortly, he's impatient. he doesn't want to wait for you to wake up on your own).

♡ he will often sneak out of his dorm and make his way over to ramshackle, calling you in the middle of the night to come and open the door, greeting you with a mischievous grin, (despite your grumbling and sighing about him invading your dorm, you know that you'll let him in every single time).

♡ there are exceptions to ace's antics, however; even he knows that it would be cruel to wake you up early after you've had a rough day, and especially when you've been studying late or when you've had exams. he likes to tease you, but he's not heartless after all! on these mornings, he will brush his lips against your forehead, admiring you for a moment before heading downstairs, doing his damndest to keep quiet, (it is very hard with how creaky ramshackle is). he'll do his best to make breakfast; it won't be anything fancy, but the cute grin on his face as he hands you a plate will be more than enough.

♡ spending the morning with ace will never not feel domestic; the two of you will banter playfully as you eat, ace cutting off your words with kisses, (multiple times, and no, he will never ever get tired of it). grim will eventually wake up as well, joining the two of you in breakfast and making a disgusted face every time the two of you do anything remotely romantic.

"eugh, don't go kissin' my henchman so casually! hands offa them!" "oi, (y/n)'s mine, cat! go get your own!"

♡ when you're getting ready for the day, ace will scoff at the way you tie your tie, getting closer as he teases you for not being able to tie it right, (even if you tied it perfectly fine). he'll undo the knot, flipping your collar up and adjusting everything properly before he redoes the knot, claiming that it's a million times better than how you did it, (it's an excuse. an excuse for him to get closer to you without you making fun of him).

"there! now you look like an actual student!" "ace, it was fine before-" "nope! i perfected it! riddle making us practice those knots was actually worth doing!

♡ sometimes, he'll pull you in by your tie when he's done with it, his lips crashing into yours for a few moments, then abruptly pulling away with a proud smirk on his face. he'll walk away after that and pretend like nothing happened, telling you to hurry up or you two are going to be late for class.

♡ if the two of you have enough time, he might just let you attempt to do his heart makeup. however, he will absolutely insist that you have to sit on his lap, saying something about how you have to have a good angle to apply it, (it's complete bullshit; he just wants to to be close to him without actually saying it. you'll always let it slide, after a little bit of teasing).

♡ if you ask him, he'll also do his own makeup on you so that the two of you can match! (it makes him a bit more flustered than he will ever care to admit, especially when he sees the giddy grin on your face, simply because the two of you are matching). deuce will give the two of you so much shit for it later, but ace will just make fun of him for being single.

♡ of course, every time he spends the night at ramshackle, he is bound to get an earful from riddle. he tries not to make a habit of it, only coming around once a month in the beginning of your relationship. after a couple of months though, his visits will increase until he's coming by once a week, if not more (he's turned it into a habit despite telling himself he wouldn't). sure, he sees you during classes and after school, but there's something about being with you while you're sleeping that makes him sleep so much easier, (he knows that you're right there in his arms, safe and sound). if he's ever asked though, he will immediately say that he only does it because of deuce's snoring waking him up.

♡ he's just a big softie who loves you so much, (also a big tsundere though...)

[alligatorpawnshop]

Rapture - Chapter 2

word count: 2597

rating: mature

read on ao3

previous chapter

- ☉ -

The rest of the weekend passed easily, moved along by beer and TV. Miami Vice had come to the Family Video on VHS, and Robin and Steve had spent the better part of the weekend watching it. Robin loved the way the characters dressed in that show. If only she could get her hands on some of their colorful suits.

Sadly, instead, she was now donning the new uniform required of them at the Party Palace. A polo shirt covered in baby pinks and blues, the back boasting the place's logo. It was cute, Robin supposed—a big silvery castle with the dragon, unicorn, and lion mascots smiling big in front of it. The same logo was advertised on the breast of the shirt. Robin turned around in the mirror and grimaced. Do it for the two bucks, Robin.

"Breakfast's ready, Rob!" Steve's voice came from the kitchen, gliding along on the rich smell of some good cookin'. "Hurry up, I don't want you eating in the car again and getting syrup everywhere!"

"That was one time, Harrington!" Robin gave herself one more rushed look in the beat-up vanity she'd found sat out on the side of the road weeks prior. Mascara's fine, eyeliner's fine. The rest? Eh. There was no use fretting over trivial things like appearance when she was clad in the Party Palace's finest, anyway. The act of putting on makeup was a feat for Robin.

Steve was sitting in the armchair, poking at a plain pancake without much interest. A plate was already set out for her, two pancakes and a bunch of scrambled eggs piled together and covered in syrup. After moving in together, her best friend quickly learned what Robin's favorite breakfast was and made it whenever he felt it essential enough to or felt like practicing his pancake shapes. Today, they were almost hearts. Almost. "Thanks, Stevie," She said as she picked up the plate and went to sit on the couch. They really needed to get some stools for the kitchen island, small as it was.

"Ready for work?" Steve asked as Robin began cutting up her food, swirling his pancake around on his plate.

"I dunno," shrugged the other. "I mean, look at these uniforms," She motioned to herself, then to Steve, who was dressed in the same getup as her. He was rocking it ever so slightly more than her; a common problem.

"I know," Steve laughed. "And I mean…those robots, man. I don't know how long I'm gonna last."

"Gross."

"Eugh, not that way, weirdo," Steve scrunched up his face. "I mean, like, they're creepy as shit."

"Whatever you say," Robin shoveled some pancake into her mouth, then waved her fork at him. "I mean, we've faced down literal wizard Satan, Steve. You can put your big boy pants on for some robots."

"You can't tell me those animatronic things aren't freaky," Steve huffed. 

"Okay, sure, I'll admit that wittle Stevie thinks the wobots are scawy."

He wasn't wrong , but boy, did Robin love giving Steve shit for stupid things. The Party Palace had somehow thought it a great idea to bring in three show animatronics to fit its new fantasy theme, which was a bold choice in itself after the whole Hellfire scandal just a few months ago. The robots were the mascots; a big red dragon, a crowned lion, and a near-sickeningly feminine unicorn. They weren't pleasant to look at—Robin had gotten a good look at them when she and Steve went in for their interviews, and she really couldn't wrap her head around why any kid would enjoy them. Their plastic faces, pelt-over-skeleton bodies, and sightless eyes weren't too appealing. Maybe they reminded kids of Disneyland or something. Robin had never been.

The haven for Robin and Steve's kids had been turned into some Medieval Times/Showbiz hybrid—some of the arcade machines and cabinets had been cleared to make room for tables suited for big parties, even a few booths for smaller groups. The arcade games themselves had mostly been replaced with more kiddie-style ones, and a big stage had been constructed to house the three big robots. Said robots watched over all patrons of the fine establishment, their blank faces seeing all. The decor had become that of a fairy tale castle, with big murals depicting shiny castles with princesses and knights fighting dragons, all with weird arcade motifs intertwined. Robin found herself staring at these murals half an hour after breakfast as she and Steve waited for their boss to come and tell them what to do.

"You think we're just supposed to figure it out for ourselves?" Robin leaned in and muttered to her best friend.

Before Steve could respond, a tall, skinny man strolled in from the back. He looked kind of like a Hawkins Brian May—he had big, black, curly hair tumbling down to his shoulders, framing a gruff face with kind brown eyes, and was dressed in similar garb as them. The only real difference was the name tag fastened to his shirt that read Derek Quest - Owner . "Hey, dudes!" said the man, a big grin flashing across his face. "Welcome to your first day at the Party Palace."

"Thanks," Steve said, and Robin nodded in agreement. 

"No problemo," Derek reached into his pocket and then retrieved a name tag with a flourish. He slid it in between his fingers to reveal that it was actually two, each one bearing one of their names with the subtitle Party Person printed in an ostentatious old-timey font. "Welcome to the team, Party People. I'll be doing your tour, since no one else is gonna be here for another hour and a half when we actually begin opening."

Derek let the pair follow him to the market stall-esque register and prize counter, where he enthusiastically explained the ticket prices for various shit-quality toys and candy along with the dollar-to-token ratio. Manning the counter would be the majority of their job, he said. However, they still had to see the whole deal, so he then led them to the show stage, as he called it, where he discussed the animatronics with even more enthusiasm.

"These here, they're the main attraction, my friends," Derek said, wonder seeping into his voice as he approached the show stage, leading them up a short, roped-off stairway and through drawn curtains to stand level with the robots.

The robots were a lot taller than Robin thought they'd be—they were partially obscured by the tacky castle-y decor cluttering the stage, so it was hard to make out their true size. The things stood at least five and three-quarters feet. It was kind of freaky to stand next to such large, humanoid things that were just…standing there lifelessly, but they seemed kind of cool, in a fucked up way. It was strange to see something like this in Hawkins. It piqued Robin's curiosity for sure.

"So, this is King the Lion, Diana the Unicorn, and Rex the Dragon," Derek motioned to each as he fondly introduced them like he'd introduce a close friend. The machines were set up in a triangle formation, with the lion in the center flanked by the dragon on its left and the unicorn on its right. Each held a prop—the lion held an ornate scepter, the unicorn a lute, and the dragon a horn. "They're great, right?" He said, grinning.

"They're really something," Steve said, obviously unnerved, but Robin was already taking a few steps around the animatronics to survey them.

Upon initial inspection, it seemed like the robots were just fur suits draped over some kind of machinery, judging by their skin-and-bones appearance up close. Their feet didn't appear to be mechanized, but it looked like their torsos, arms, and head could move around. It was interesting to look at—it was like a big Halloween costume, but stranger, with more pieces hiding beneath the disguise. "Did you build these yourself?"

Robin was still inspecting the animatronics, but she could practically hear Derek light up when asked. "I did! It took years to finalize their designs, but I think I finally got it down…they look good, don't they? I wanted to make them look like the mascot costumes kids like, but able to operate on their own, and perform a pre-recorded number. And you wanna know the best part?" 

She turned to him and nodded, withholding a smirk as Steve shook his head at her behind the other man, who was oblivious to his discomfort. She found the man's excitement almost endearing, in a weird way. She often got excited about things people weren't very interested in or thought were odd, as did a lot of her kids. There were stranger things going on than a man who spent his life trying to build the ultimate children's entertainment robot, after all. At least he had a somewhat wholesome goal.

Derek's grin widened and he took a step toward the closest machine, the unicorn, Diana. "I named her after the princess, you know. Thought it was a royal name, and Princess Diana's kind of hot," He commented with a chuckle as he pulled apart the back of the unicorn's fur coating, tearing apart metal button clasps to reveal the mess of wires and metal rods within it. It felt wrong; like he was disrobing it. "This here's the endoskeleton. It's what gives her structure and lets her move. It's like our bones, hence the name," He said happily, pulling at parts of the thing's inner workings. Robin and Steve watched as the unicorn's arms fell slack and loose, as did its neck, its heavy head lolling to its chest. Derek withdrew two mechanical bone arms and what looked a little like a spine. "All three of the animatronics have removable spines and arms so that they can be operated as puppets. I want to eventually make them wearable, you know, like full suits that can have their whole skeletons taken out and put back in whenever," As an example, he stuck his own arms into the now empty suit arms, moving its hands to wave and give an energetic thumbs up.

"Oh, jeez, that's really cool," Robin said, and she kind of meant it. It was cool to see the crazy things other people got up to, and it was nice to know her now-boss seemed to be passionate about the whole deal instead of just being in it for the money. Unlike her and Steve, who was looking rather disgusted at the sight of this man ripping the bones out of the fuzzy mascots.

"Isn't it?" Derek smiled. "I feel like it's such a cool concept that places like Showbiz haven't really explored. I mean, the suits and the animatronics are just always separate. It's a waste of material and money, really."

Robin nodded along as the man continued enthusing about his creations, but Steve eventually butted in, "So, are we going to have to…operate the puppet parts? Or even do repairs on these things?"

"Oh, no, no, no," Derek shook his head with an entertained smile. "I'm the only one I trust to work on these machines right now. And until the place gets more attention and I can afford to hire more folks, you'll have to be on the floor, not up here. I may eventually need you to do some maintenance, but that won't be for a while, and you'll need some extensive training beforehand."

Steve deflated with relief and Robin chuckled. Derek motioned for them to follow once more and led them to the back, where they were shown the snack bar-turned-kitchen (of course, they wouldn't be cooking, but it was good to see the lay of the land), the break room, and, lastly, the storage room.

The storage room was a weird place—it seemingly doubled as Derek's workshop, with a few folding tables full of toolboxes and animatronic parts hidden within a maze of boxes, extra chairs, and retired arcade cabinets. "I know it's a bit messy, but I sadly don't have room in my apartment for all my tinkering, so I've set up shop here, for now," The older man shrugged. "Those boxes over there labeled ‘STUFF' are all the extra merchandise, and these ones called ‘FLOOR STUFF' are things for the floor area, like tablecloths and napkin replacements and stuff like that. The ones labeled ‘SHIT' are actually cleaning supplies."

"Good system," Robin remarked, and Derek laughed. 

"Oh, before I forget!" The older man went and reached into one of the ‘STUFF' boxes and withdrew two paper crowns, the laminate made shiny to take on the appearance of gold. They were kind of like Burger King crowns but instead bore the castle logo of the Party Palace. "The last part of your uniform."

"Oh, man," Steve said with false excitement, and Robin almost snorted. No, no, she had to be the good one, as she always was in every job she worked with Steve. Always the straight man, ironic as that was.

- ↻ ⧖ ↺ -

After receiving their crowns, the brand-new employees of the Party Palace Pizza Place were dropped by the counter by Derek and left to their own devices to figure out the registers and read through the prize catalog for the last fifteen minutes before the place opened right at 11:30.

Robin was pressing buttons on the register and making receipts just to see how fast it would take to print them (the Family Video register took way too long to print receipts) as Steve got the lay of all the prizes set out above and beneath the counter. Derek had retreated to the back, saying he needed to unlock it to let the kitchen staff in, so they were on their own in the empty arcade.

She could see Steve scan the large room for him before leaning over and incredulously whispering, "Were you really interested in those crazy robots, or just humoring him?" 

"Is it so bad that I admire a man with hobbies?" Robin didn't look up from the register, typing BOOBS out with 8s and 0s.

"Bullshit. You admire no man, Buckley."

She turned to glare at him. He'd been good about not telling anyone about her little secret, but boy, did he make her nervous when he commented on it, even when no one was around. Habit, she guessed. "I mean, I just think it's fun for people to have weird hobbies, you know? Just like the kids and their D&D."

"I guess, but that's just a board game. This is like, this guy's making whole robot things," Steve said conspiratorially. 

"Oh, come on, if you hated it so much, why'd you decide to work here?"

"It's two more bucks an hour," Steve replied quickly. "And once you left, Keith would have had my ass anyway."

"True," Robin nodded, then bumped her friend with her shoulder. "But come on, get over yourself, Harrington. They're just a bunch of machines, just like cars and toasters are."

"Cars and toasters don't have blank, unseeing eyes," Steve said lightly.

"I think they're kind of cute, in a fucked up way," Robin shrugged. "Kind of like Gremlins."

"Not at all like Gremlins," Steve said, and the clock reached 11:30. Open time. 

Robin watched him switch on the open sign and gave him a two-finger salute. "To our first day in the Robot Gremlin Kingdom."

"To our first day in the Crazy Robot Place," Steve rolled his eyes, moving back behind the counter, where they stood at attention, heralds of Party Palace fun!

[shoekinn]

talking in the tags 💯

[fuckmymunson]

🔮 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭: Send me a character + a kink, and I'll write a drabble about it!

Remus & squirting 😀

oeoqeiljsuqjdnqkzlxoqpq— I'm— eugh— 😵‍💫🤲🏻♡♡♡, thank you for the ask!

18+, smut, cheating, Remus being a softdom ♡

"What the hell is your problem?" You asked, locking the door of the empty classroom behind you. Remus leaned on a desk, titling his head with a curious look on his amber eyes.

"Explain?" He simply answered.

"Wha—, I mean why the fuck did you said that to him?" You hated when he acted this smug, but it was lowkey hot.

"Because it's the truth." Crossing his arms, he walked closer, making you step back, until your back was flat against the door. "He can't make you cum, at least not like I can."

"Are you jealous?" You asked, and the silence that followed your question was your indubitable answer. "Oh my god, you are jealous."

"What if I am?" He finally spoke, caging you against the wall, one hand on top of you head, the other on your hip. "What if I want to be the one holding your hand and kissing you in front of everyone?"

"Remus." You sighed, cupping his cheek. "I know, I know, but I—"

"Break up with him."

The determination and adoration in his eyes were breathtaking. He was breathtaking. You stood there, in silence, gaze fixated in his freckles face, your thumb traced the scars in his cheek, goddess, he was so handsome. He was yours.

"Fine." You said, after what felt like a million years. "I'll break up with him."

Remus smirked, and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was soft, but he still took control of it and pinned your hands in top of your head, gently as he always did.

"Can't you wait until we are in your dorm?" You asked, giggling when he started tracing patterns on the skin below your skirt with his free hand.

"I want you now." It wasn't a statement, or a request, it was an order.

Picking you up, Remus placed you on top of the desk, opening your legs and flipping up your skirt, tracing your sweet cunt on top of the cotton fabric of your baby blue panties. He loved those, with the little bow on the middle of the elastic.

He kneeled in front of you, and you knew you were in for a treat. He started licking your clit from atop the fabric, making you squirm and forcing you to grab a fistful of his honey locks with your delicate fingers. Remus continued with the little kisses and licks until he was satisfied with the growing wet patch in your panties. Sliding them off your legs, he used his thumbs to spread your slick pussy and dive in, swirling his tongue in and out, devouring you in every single lick.

You moaned, not loudly enough but the sound itself made him groan against your aching core. He slid two fingers, curling them as he attached his lips to your puffy clit, giving the little bud all the attention it needed.

"F—Fuck, Remus, stop." You whined, he just giggled and added a third finger, stretching you out a bit more, at goddess did it burned so good.

You were about to cum, he knew it, Remus knew your body better than anyone. But, this time was different. Perhaps it was the way he was curling his fingers, pressing them mercilessly against that spongy spot or the way he delivered bit your clit not so gently, making you jolt and cry.

Whatever he was doing this time, it was working, because you felt the knot in your stomach tighter than ever, it was exhausting, and you felt your whole body shaking at his ministrations. The gushing sounds of your dripping pussy, your moans and weak whines of his name and how he occasionally groaned at the taste of your sweet pussy were too much.

"Remmy." You moaned, trying to warn him of what was about to happen. "It feels w—weird, please, I—"

"Let go, princess, let me make you feel good." And with that, you squirted in his face and fingers. You almost yelled, closing your eyes and panting heavily.

Blinking a few times to push away the dizziness, you lowered your gaze, where Remus was smiling proudly and literally had heart-shaped eyes. His lower face was glistening with his spit and your release, making your heart fluttering.

"Good girl." He praised giving your clit a small kiss, helping you with your underwear and rubbing your thighs waiting for you to catch your breath. "Love you."