#even if you sometimes like it or defend it

[moonsaver]

Imagine instead of 4ggravate being a kpop boy group and reader being the fangirl, its the other way around

4ggravate forms a groupchat particularly because of you, their bias, who is also the least recognized in your group and is often overshadowed by others, leading to a desperate convergence of your fans in finding out the itty bitty stuff about you that's all on blast when it comes to the other idols in your group. They're like detectives trying to figure out whether you liked the specific flavor of ice cream on a show you participated in with your group. Each of them keep tabs on any official updates about you, recording and clipping parts of your group's lives in the tidbits where you come in, and forming a wall trying to defend you from majority of the fandom when you get backlash from false rumors. That's just how the group came to be.

Kaveh is the oldest fan amongst them – he's been there since day 1. Claims he knows the most out of all of them and tries to prove it via quizzes and guessing games. Sometimes he wins, most times he doesn't. Also the poorest of the four. He spent so much on buying your specific merchandise he didn't plan for the future concert you group was holding in his area, and ever since then he's had to tearfully decide constantly between buying albums, your photocards, new lightstick versions, etc.. and your concert that may or may not even be held in the area.

In the rare chance that he does attend your concert – he tries to get the most out of it. Front row, headbands, fanchant at the top of his head, lightsticks in both hands. When you notice him and exchange a few words over the loud crowd, he swears he's going to pass out, looking up at your crouched figure on the stage makes you look almost like an angel to him, the light highlighting your figure perfectly. Suffice to say, he eventually made an impression on you at least.. because he passed out and the crowd had to surf him to a security guard. He's deeply embarassed about it, and can't really escape it now that he's become a bit of an inside joke in your fandom

Cyno is the second older fan. Like Kaveh, he prides himself over having a good amount of knowledge about you that's not exactly easy to find – old, old, old images of other kpop idols in which you appear for a fraction of a second, spotting the products you use in your lives and being able to find out the brands is his specialty. If Kaveh has the knowledge, Cyno at least has the detective skills. He has his own individually run fanpage where most other fanpages, even your group's fanpages, refer to as a trusted source. Has also managed to create several fancams of you that were incredibly hard to get ahold of. He's those fanpages on twitter who thoroughly collect evidence and manage to pinpoint future events you're going to take part in before they're announced, and he manages to predict it correctly almost all the time. He's well known within the fandom, but due to how busy he is in 4ggravate trying to form a cumulative plan almost all the time, rarely does he find the time to respond to other fans and fanpages, and most other admins don't usually approach him either.

If anything, at least he's got more resources and money than Kaveh. I imagine he actually also is in a lot of other groups besides 4ggravate.

Alhaitham, out of everyone, is the one who's actually talked to you the most. He was originally just interested in the music, didn't really care until he realized how less and less your lines became the more songs your group churned out. So in his mind, to "make up for" the lack of lines on your end, he decides to simply just pay extra attention to your solo activities. It's not soon before you become his bias. Unlike Kaveh, he was pretty strategic and managed to plan ahead for scheduled fancalls, fanmeetings, appearances in public, etc..

he leaves a lasting impression because.. he doesn't show his appearance. At all. There's many fans out there who get your attention by doing strange things with their appearance, but Alhaitham refuses to even take off his mask just to talk to you. In fancalls, he decides to cover the cameras, always wears hoodies that cover him completely when he meets you in public. At some point, the fandom falls in love with him instead (which drives Kaveh insane), and it's not soon before there's all sorts of rumors about you two. The rumors get more wild when he only ever takes his hoodie off once when you meet him face to face. Personality wise, he sticks out because of how easily he's able to spot changes in choreography, voice, pitch, writing style, etc.. and even more so, because of how upfront about it he is, without actually being creepy about it. He gives good advice without making it sound like unwelcome criticism.

Tighnari is actually the normal one. He just generally likes the music and likes your voice specifically because he thinks your voice suits the concept the best, but because of a few injustices (which he sarcastically comments on many fancams, to which also many fans agree), he finds himself doing something similar to Alhaitham. Albeit, less.. detailed? Is what he thinks. He's actually a bit of a keyboard warrior when it comes down to it – replying to group threads that intentionally leave you out, having the sassiest comebacks to mean or rude comments about you, piecing together timelines and locations to prove false rumors wrong, working especially close with Cyno in these kinds of cases. If there's a fancam of you, Tighnari is under it fighting some or the other hater, or just blatantly commenting on the event itself that intentionally disrespects you or your group.

He's probably the only one who actually leaves a long lasting impression on you. When your car drives by a bunch of your excited fans, he's the normal one who's looking on calmly and waving to you with a stoic face. Whenever he comes to fanmeetings with Alhaitham, or has fancalls with you – it's fun! His humor is easy to accustom to, conversation goes lightly, and overall he's the tamest out of everyone. He gives you some skincare advice which you gladly accept, and somehow, despite not being as incriminating as the others when it came to detail, they're salty about how he seems to be the one who's closest to you. It's not unnoticeable the way out of all four of them, you recognize him by a first name basis. Ohhh boy.

[ktgoodmorning]

Annoying

Aitana Bonmati x ADHD!reader

This is just my experience as someone with ADHD, I know it doesn't speak for everyone!

Masterlist

You were rushing around your house, trying to get ready for the day as fast as you possibly could, already borderline late for training as you ran around grabbing things. Aitana had gone early for media duties which left you to barely scrape yourself together in time, even though you had an extra hour to do so. Usually when she was around you could just match her morning routine in a way that made your own go much more smoothly. Without her, somehow no matter what you did or how much time you gave yourself, you always ended up running around like this, praying you didn’t forget anything. 

It wasn’t until you reached for your keys to leave that you noticed Aitana had left a sticky note on top of them for you:

"Phone, Bag, Boots, Change of clothes, Coffee, Take your meds

I love you, see you soon!  -A"

Her note made you pause momentarily, the first time you did since you left your bed this morning. You were beyond grateful for Aitana and the way she helped you out. You never asked her to, but over the course of your relationship she had learned the things you struggled with and slowly started to do things like this to try to help. Usually it worked. Sometimes you got too used to her notes and reminders that you started ignoring them and she had to find a new way to catch your attention, but she almost always managed to succeed. 

You read through her note quickly to double check everything. Your hand tapped your pocket, making sure you felt your phone. Your bag was on your shoulder which you partially unzipped to double check that your boots and clothes were there. The travel mug that Aitana had given you as a gift when you first started dating was in your free hand, but your meds. Of course you forgot your meds. Somehow after years of taking them you still forgot at times, instantly running back to grab one before heading to training. 

Your drive to the stadium worked to reset your mood, somehow dragging you out of the stressed and frantic state you had been in just moments earlier. The second you parked, you bound into the stadium with a kind of pep in your step that only you had. Your head was buried in your phone, doing who knows what, as you quickly made your way to the locker room, only stopping when you narrowly avoided running into Mapi. 

“Aye, watch where you’re going, amiga! What’s got you in such a rush?” 

“I don’t know, just in a good mood I guess! Excited to see Tana and for a good day of training. The weather’s beautiful out today, I think it’ll be a good day. Maybe after training I’ll just lay out in the sun for a while. Or maybe I’ll go on a walk or something with Tana. I don’t know, it’s just beautiful out, I’m so excited!”

The defender shook her head at you with a light laugh, very used to your chatty nature. She was probably your best friend on the team, after Aitana of course. At times, Mapi was the only one who could keep up with you. It made for the perfect double dates that allowed you and Mapi to talk each other’s ears off while your girlfriends could do some bonding of their own. Both Aitana and Ingrid loved to see the way you could match each other’s energy in ways that nobody else could. “Maybe you should back off the coffee, I feel like you get more and more hyper every time I see you.” 

“Maps, we both know that won’t help. The coffee barely does anything, it’s more just a habit at this point.” She nodded in agreement, knowing you were right. You’d tried coming off caffeine before and it never did a lot; the coffee just helped you regulate and get into your morning routine, something that you could desperately use the help with. 

As you pushed open the door to the locker room, you bounced right to your girlfriend to greet her with a hug. “Tana! Good morning! How was media?”

“It was okay.” she gave you a small shrug as she pulled away, “How was your morning? Did you get my note?” 

“Yes, I did! I definitely would have forgotten my meds without it, so thank you.” 

“Well I’m glad it helped! Your drive was okay?” 

“Oh my gosh yes! I found this new podcast I was listening to. It was so interesting you wouldn’t believe it.” You sat down next to her, starting to put on your boots and get ready for training as you continued talking, filling her in on all the details you found interesting while she just listened. Somehow Aitana never got tired of listening to you talk. She loved the way you got so excited about such random, seemingly small things, that most people wouldn’t care much about, even if she hardly understood what it was you were talking about. 

As you made your way out to start training for the day, you continued to speak eagerly, almost yelling unintentionally. Aitana was fully focused on you, while those around you half-listened, amazed by her ability to keep up with you. When you got excited about whatever you were talking about, you often gradually increased your volume as well as the speed you spoke at so it was always easy for everyone around you to hear, as long as they could keep up. 

.

After your outdoor team training session on the pitch, you all made your way inside and cleaned up a little to eat lunch. You sat at a table with Aitana, Mapi, Ingrid, Frido, and Esmee- your typical “family” on the team. The entire time you ate, your leg was bouncing relentlessly.

 As soon as she noticed it, Aitana laid a hand gently on your knee to get your attention so she could give you a questioning look as her way of seeing if you were okay. You responded with a short nod, but the anxiety was still clear on your face. 

Your girlfriend had mastered the art of leaning into your side in a way that let her talk to you more discreetly, “What’s wrong, mi tesoro?” 

You gave her a small shrug in response, not quite sure how to put it into words yourself. “I don’t know, I’m exhausted from this morning but also feel like I have so much energy I might explode so I can’t quite figure out how to fix it.” This feeling wasn’t all that uncommon for you, something everyone was quite used to seeing cause you frustration. 

“Want to go on a short walk or something? Get out your energy?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think that’ll do it. I feel like I need to do some sprints or something but I know that’s a bad idea after everything we did in training today, so I’ll just get over it. I’ll be fine.”

She looked unsure at you, knowing that after lunch you had a team meeting where you’d be sitting to watch film and talk game tactics. That long period of sitting and listening wasn’t going to be easy for you if you were full of pent up energy but she knew that you knew yourself better than she did. Pushing you never worked well and typically just filled you with more frustration so she decided to let it be and just help you out if you had any issues later.

.

The meeting started okay. You weren’t exactly paying close attention but you did when you needed to, and it worked just fine. It was about fifteen minutes into it that Aitana noticed you picking at your nails. It was a habit you had most of your life, and one you constantly claimed you were trying to quit, but just never could. The second she saw it, she placed your hand in yours, just to hold it. It was her way of stopping you from picking without actually calling it out, knowing that would bother you instantly if she did and only make you want to do it more. 

When you took her hand, you used your free one to play around with her fingers. You’d mess with her watch and her rings, just whatever she had on that you could mess with. The two of you had this routine for so long that the feeling of you playing with her hands was almost comforting in a way. She had gotten to a point where she always made sure she had something on that you could use to fidget, whether it was jewelry or even just a simple ponytail holder on her wrist.

But the longer the meeting dragged on, the less you were entertained by whatever was on her hands, eventually returning to destroying your nails. Once again, Aitana was more prepared than you ever realized. Before coming into the room, she had grabbed a random pen she found somewhere and put it in her pocket, knowing you’d have a hard time during this meeting. So the second your hands left hers, she silently passed it to you. 

All you could do was look at her with admiration. You couldn’t believe how good she was to you or how well she knew you. How did she always know exactly what you needed? The dark haired woman gave you a knowing smile before turning back to Jona to listen to him talk, something that encouraged you to do the same while you kept your hands busy with the pen. 

You were glad it was just a random pen off the floor because you broke it just before the meeting wrapped up, something you did a lot. The second you both heard the quiet “snap” of the piece breaking off, Aitana gave you a pointed look while your face immediately turned suspicious, looking at her, somehow trying to feign as if you hadn’t just broken it. Both of you struggled to keep a straight face and hold in your giggles to do your best to keep paying attention and not be a distraction. It was hard to hold in your snickering as you now had two pieces of pen to mess with while the meeting finally came to a close before you could break anything else.

As you left the room, to return to the locker room to going home, your girlfriend giggled at you and your antics. “How do you always end up breaking whatever I give you?”

“I don’t think it’s my fault! I think you just find bad pens!” 

“You know, I don’t think it is! It happens every single time!”

“Tana, did you ever consider that maybe I’m just really strong so-“

“Aitana, how do you put up with this one and her yapping? Do you ever get any peace and quiet or does she talk like this through the night too?” Cata threw her arm around your girlfriend’s shoulders as she joined the two of you. 

You knew she didn’t mean anything by it but the words still made your heart drop. It was one of the things that made you insecure at times even though you were always unable to stop yourself. You annoyed yourself at times with all your talking and often had to work to suppress the voice in your head saying that everyone hated you for it. 

The second the words left her mouth, the rest of the conversation was mute to you, not hearing the way your girlfriend defended you and got harsher with Cata than she normally ever did. You were immediately stuck in a whirlwind of your own thoughts and insecurities which remained there as you showered and changed. 

Unless you had somewhere specific to be, you typically took your time getting ready to go home, stopping to talk to your friends or just getting lost scrolling on your phone. It was because of this that Aitana was shocked when she returned from the showers to see you and all your stuff already gone. Because you had driven separately that morning, she wasn’t worried about you leaving without her, more worried about how out of character this behavior was for you. So she immediately picked up her pace in hopes of getting home as quickly as possible to make sure you were okay.

Aitana noticed right away when you went quiet but wanted to give you some space. Sometimes if she prodded too much, it made you feel like she was parenting you more than being your girlfriend so she wanted to give it some time to see if you’d come to her or sort it out on your own before she pushed you. She hoped maybe your car ride home would work as a “reset” to your mood. 

When Aitana unlocked the door to your shared apartment, she was surprised to find you peacefully asleep on the couch. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought you’d been there for hours based on how comfortable you looked. You liked naps at times, especially when you didn’t feel like facing your emotions so she probably shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was. Deciding to join you, she grabbed a blanket to lay over you and sat down next to you with a book, doing her best not to wake you, even though she knew she would be doing so soon so that you’d have a hope of getting to sleep later that night. 

She let you sleep for about a half hour before gently running a hand over your face and playing with your hair lightly to bring you out of your nap. “Baby, I think you should wake up, otherwise you won’t be able to go to bed tonight.”

All you did was grumble and pull yourself closer to her, not in the mood to be awake and certainly not to be talking right now. “Why don’t you lay here for a few minutes to keep waking up, and I’ll go make you a snack?” 

“Thank you, Tana.” You mumbled with a lazy nod. You knew she was right, and were glad she was giving you the time you needed to get yourself awake, never in the mood to be talking after waking up from a nap. Knowing you didn’t wait for her after training today, it was clear she was going to ask you about it because of how unusual it was for you. You liked to be glued to your girlfriend’s side whenever you could be so it was obvious to her that something was wrong when you voluntarily left on your own. 

When she returned with your food, Aitana was surprised to see that you hadn’t fallen back asleep but were now sitting up, scrolling through your phone, much more awake than when she left a few minutes earlier. She had done this enough times before to know that beating around the bush would only grow your anxiety so as soon as she sat down next to you, she decided to ask. “Hey, what’s going on with you? You’ve been quiet since the end of training today.” 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “just tired I guess.” You both knew it was a lie and your lack of eye contact made it even more obvious, but you really weren’t good at opening up unless someone (Aitana) pushed you. 

“Come on, baby, we both know that’s not true, you've been too quiet. What's on your mind, sweetheart?” she gave your knee a reassuring squeeze as you picked around at your food. “Talk to me, you know I just want to help you. If you just want to rant, I’ll listen or if you want a solution to whatever it is, I’ll help you with that too. Just talk to me, please.”

You remained silent, stubbornly doing your best not to give in to her even though you knew you would soon, just biting your nails and avoiding eye contact. “Do you want me to call Mapi and you could talk to her about it? She would always listen if you want that. I just think you should talk about it, that always helps you clear your head and make sense of everything.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone else right now, I just want you.” You groaned dramatically at how good she was to you and how easily she broke down your walls."The stuff Cata said just kinda got to me earlier. Aita, I feel like I talk too much sometimes and it just feels like I’m so annoying to everyone else." You paused, clearly not telling her the entire story as your voice dropped to a whisper. “And sometimes I get nervous that you’ll realize how annoying I can be and leave.” 

Her face dropped as the words left your mouth, instantly heartbroken over the way you thought about yourself. The dark haired woman moved closer to you, bringing her hands to gently cup the sides of your face. "Love, it is when you go quiet, that I worry about you. It’s not annoying. I- It makes me happy to see you so happy. I love seeing how excited you get when you talk about things you like, it’s adorable. So please, don't ever think that. I would never do that to you, I promise.” 

“Do you promise you don’t get annoyed with me, though?” 

“I absolutely promise that. I love when you talk so fast I can’t keep up or when you accidentally end up yelling cause you’re so excited. I love when you’re bouncing around and giggling and when you talk to me until I fall asleep, or, even better, until you fall asleep and aren’t making sense anymore. I love everything about you, even if you don’t.”

“Thank you,” you leaned into her side, allowing her to wrap an arm around you and hold you close. “I love you, Tana.”

“I love you, baby. Now why don’t you eat some of this before it goes cold? Maybe we can watch a movie or something then.” 

“That sounds perfect… as long as I get to pick the movie?” She rolled your eyes at the hopeful look in your eyes, both knowing that she would instantly give into you and let you pick, before settling in next to you for your night of relaxing together, while you undoubtedly talked through most of the movie.

This one felt a little too real lmao. Wouldn't be surprised if I did some more in this universe. As always, requests and feedback are more than welcome!

Masterlist

[kayesfanfics]

Hi can I request a femreader/ nightcrawler story where the reader is shy and anxious, while Kurt misunderstands this as her thinking he’s a monster?

But in truth she’s been trying to confess her feelings to him but she always backs out last minute in fear?

Thank you!

A/N: The way I’ve probably imagined this scenario at 12 years old laying in bed at night. I also made the reader friends with Rogue, Jean and Ororo since she’s closer to their ages

“Sugah, yer lookin’ more nervous than a long-tailed pussy cat in a room full o’ rockin’ chairs!” Rogue tapped your shoulder as she walked into the lounging area, where you were having morning coffee with Jean and Ororo. “What’s gotcha all riled up, huh?”

“Kurt’s playing basketball with the others outside...in shorts.” Jean quipped before taking a sip of coffee, a playful grin on her face. Ororo chuckled at the embarrassed face you made, as if someone just walked in on you changing.

“Jean!” You whined, face turning redder when Rogue started laughing.

“Oh, Y/N! We’re just teasing!” Jean giggled as you pouted at all of them finding your embarrassment amusing.

“I just don’t see why you haven’t told him about her feelings yet!”

They all knew you’ve had the biggest crush on the fuzzy blue X-Man, Nightcrawler, ever since he joined the team a few months ago. He was always so nice to everyone, including you, and he seemed to always say the right thing at the right time. He even made your morning coffee sometimes when you got up late, knowing everyone’s coffee order by heart by now.

The boys were outside playing basketball with Jubilee and Roberto, showing the younger ones how it was done. You watched out the window at the court, seeing Gambit and Wolverine battling for the ball before Kurt teleported between them and snatched the ball from them, tossing it into the basket and laughing when they both started yelling about the “no powers” rule. You smiled before realizing you were staring, clearing your throat and turning to Rogue.

“You know I get too nervous around your brother, I can’t even ask him to pass the salt at dinner!”

“Yer always nervous, that’s fine! But y’know, he totally likes you too. I can tell.”

“No he doesn’t.” You shook your head in denial.

“Yes he does.” All three women said at the same time, side eyeing you or rolling their eyes.

“My dear, Kurt is a very charismatic man, but he goes out of his way to make you smile every chance he gets.” Ororo set her hand atop of yours. “I even see a flash of disappointment when you flee from his advances.”

“Really?” You asked, feeling a bit guilty about making him feel bad. You were a generally nervous person, but your anxiety sky rocketed around him, your heart always felt like it would explode out of your chest when he got close to you or touched you. It was difficult to hold eye contact with him, your nerves getting the best of you and looking down at the floor while you spoke to him. You’d give him a scared smile when he handed you things, your blood running cold when his hand brushed up against yours during those exchanges. You often found your eyes wandering to him when he wasn’t focused on you, it was easier to look at him when you knew he wasn’t aware of you checking him out. You loved the way his tail squashed playfully as he joked around with Morph, how his ear would twitch like a cats when he heard someone new enter the room, how his fangs gleamed when he smiled or how his bright yellow eyes sparked with mischief during a fight.

“Okay…you know what? Todays the day, today I need to confess to him! If I don’t today, I never will cause I’m a baby and will back out.” You stood up confidently.

“Yeah! Go get em, tiger!” Rogue cheered as you walked away, then lowered her voice. “She ain’t gonna.”

“I think Y/N can do things she sets her mind to.” Storm defended you.

“Wanna put ten bucks on it?” Rogue raised an eyebrow and cheekily grinned.

“…you’re on.” Storm nodded, shaking her hand as Jean spoke up, saying she’d bet alongside Storm that you could do it.

“You know I can still hear you all?” You crossed your arms from the window, getting a closer look and watching Kurt dodge Roberto’s lunge. Your friends all laughed as you shook your head, trying to get ahold of your nerves.

How were you supposed to tell the most handsome, heroic, sweetest, most amazing person ever you were in love with them? Kurt was genuinely the kindest person you’d ever met, giving you butterflies when you watched him comfort a mutant child during a fight, or how he helped his teammates so gently when they were injured. You couldn’t fathom how people were afraid or disgusted by him, he was the most gorgeous man in the world. How you could see a tinge of indigo under his blue fur when he blushed or bruised, how sculpted and chiseled he was yet also was so soft to look at. When he wore sweatpants and a tank top after training one day, you swore you would have a heart attack right then and there seeing how attractive he looked in the outfit. You adored sneaking peeks of him working out alone, his muscles bulging when he did push ups or pull ups on a bar, how flexible and agile he was and how effortless he made it look. You’d stand outside the door until you felt you would get caught staring, not wanting to seem like a creep.

You were suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when the door opened, Wolverine carrying Jubilee, pretending to be limp and passed out in his arms.

“What happened?” Jean asked as the girls all stood up from their little coffee and gossip session.

“She tripped and scraped her knee trying to get the ball from Logan!” Morph snickered as they all filed inside.

“I’ve been attacked! He pushed me and now I’m severely wounded!” Jubilee whined dramatically as Logan set her down on the counter. You waited for Kurt while you listened to Jubilee and Wolverine bicker about the seriousness of her cut knee, feeling your heart skip a beat when he finally walked in, chatting with Hank.

“Um…hey, Kurt?” You spoke quietly, but Kurt’s ear twitched and picked up your shy voice.

“Yes, Miss Y/N?” He asked, stopping and letting Hank go ahead of him.

“I…um…could you find a first aid kit, please?”

You blushed when you heard your friends laugh behind you and Storm and Jean handed Rogue money, knowing Kurt was looking past you at them, wondering what they were doing. You felt like a dork backing out of confessing and asking him to do something you could easily do, but you changed your mind at the last second that you weren’t ready yet.

“Sure.” He smiled, before bamfing off. You turned and glared at your friends, before walking walked over to Jubilee, seeing blood dripping down her shin and gravel from the court embedded inside of it.

“Ouch, let me clean that for you.” You said and wet a paper towel, ignoring Logan saying how she was fine and it was part of growing up and being a kid. You kneeled down and patted down Jubilee’s injury, soaking up the blood and wiping out any gravel from the wound.

“Here you are, Y/N.” You heard a familiar sweet, velvety voice beside you. You looked over and saw Nightcrawler holding out a first aid kit from the nearest bathroom, a charming grin on his face.

“Oh, um, thank you Kurt.” You smiled at him shyly, before quickly turning your attention to Jubilee. You didn’t see the look of rejection in his yellow eyes as the irritated twitch of his tail at that, before he sighed and bamfed off again.

*a couple hours later*

“Mein Gott!” The mutant shouted in surprise, also not paying attention to where he was going before tumbling backwards at the collision. You were on your way to training, focusing on wrapping up your hands to look where you were going. Now, you knocked down the last person you wanted to. You felt bad seeing the gorgeous man on the floor because of you.

“Kurt! I’m so sorry! Here, let me help!” You held a hand out to him, but he got up himself.

“It is fine.” He said simply before walking past you, then suddenly pausing and turning to you. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.” You fidgeted with your hands nervously, anxious for the question.

“Do you…have I offended you in some way?” He asked, his eyes flashing with a bit of sadness.

“What? No? Why would you think that?” You asked, worried your timid behavior had finally kicked you in the ass.

“You tend to just brush me off, I’ve noticed. Lately you don’t really look at me, you respond with few words to me. I just thought…maybe I did something to scare you? Disgust you? Perhaps I…you think I’m a monster?”

You stared at him in the hallway, shock freezing your thoughts for a moment. How could he ever think your awkwardness around him could be because you thought he was disgusting? That he thought you found him frightening? You hadn’t realized how not making eye contact or responding curtly would come across to him, a man who’s been persecuted and attacked his whole life for how he looked. He was the most admirable, amazing person you’d ever met and you made him feel like a monster.

“Kurt, no! Not at all! I just…I do like you, I do! You just…make me very nervous. More so than I usually am…”

“How? Do I intimidate you?” He tilted his head in confusion. “I do not mean to-“

“It’s not that, really. I uh…I just really admire you, I guess. You make me more nervous than the others because…because I really like you…a lot.” You looked down at the floor, shyly looking up into his eyes. His face relaxed when he finally understood what you meant.

“Oh…I apologize for thinking so little of your actions. You are understanding and non judge mental, I should never have assumed what I did about you. How about I take you out to apologize for my ignorance?” He flashed his fangs at you in a charming smile, slowly approaching you before he was close enough to hold out a hand to you.

“I-I…okay.” You took his hand and sheepishly smiled up at him, allowing him to guide you down the hall. “I’m really sorry I made you feel like I-“

“No apology necessary, Y/N, really. I’m just glad we’ve come to…an understanding.” He grinned, bringing your hand up to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. You blushed and giggled at the action

[songsbygumi]

Glass in the park

| Megumi x reader

Summary- "Who needs sleep when you're with your crush, watching reaction videos to bad movies?"

Warnings - English it's not my first language, no mentions of readers name, non proofread and I think that's all

A/N- This is part of the universe of 'Suck It and See' inspired by Arctic Monkeys' album and Alex Turner's 'Submarine' EP but can be read as a standalone.

Late nights are like old friends to you. While everyone else is catching a good sleep, you're up and about, binge-watching YouTube, diving into a good read, or maybe even handling some homework you definitely didn't procrastinate on.

So, hitting up the kitchen for a midnight snack isn't exactly uncharted territory for you. It's two in the morning, and the only sound echoing through the school halls is the soft shuffle of your bunny slippers on the floor.

With one hand wrapped in your trusty blanket and the other clutching your cellphone and headphones (because what's a snack without some entertainment, right?), you make your way to the kitchen. You snag some cookies and a bag of chips, figuring Toge won't mind. Just as you're about to make your exit, you spot a looming figure by the microwave— a sudden jolt of fear seizes you, causing an involuntary scream to slip from your lips.

"Shhh, you'll wake up the whole school" Megumi's hand covers your mouth.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack! What are you doing up?" Megumi's gaze bores into yours; you know gather information from him is like pulling teeth—he shares what he wants, and getting more has always proven to be a challenge.

"Was finishing up some homework" he replies, and you realize that's probably all you'll get from him. But he doesn't move, so you hold your ground, giving him an opportunity to continue. "Are you always eating at night?"

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You spend most nights awake, tired of the monotony of your room, opting instead to explore the school or watch movies in the common room. You always thought you were quiet enough to avoid notice.

"No," you defend yourself, feeling a pang of self-consciousness. "Sometimes I read in the common room."

"I see" chatting with Megumi always prompts you to speak up. You haven't been friends for too long, so initially, you attributed the silence to your status as a relative stranger.

But ever since Panda stood both of you up at the cinema a few months ago for some lame excuse you can't even remember, you've realized that Megumi isn't exactly chatty. Occasionally, he'll launch into rants about his dislikes—he's quite the hater, you've noticed—but more often than not, he'll quietly listen as you ramble on about your interests.

"I didn’t realize I was being loud. Sorry if I woke you up" you apologize, a slight pout forming on your face. Megumi's gaze softens.

"It's okay. I'm usually awake anyway, so it doesn’t matter" he replies, though in truth, he's often awakened from sleep by your nocturnal activities. He's a light sleeper, but he keeps that to himself; he doesn't want to upset you.

You both linger in silence for a moment, neither quite ready to part ways. Your mind races, weighing the options. You could retreat to your room and bore yourself to death until sleep finally claims you, or you could spend the night with your biggest crush. Before you know it, the words tumble out.

“Would you like to watch some YouTube with me?” you suggest, your heart racing at the thought of spending time with him.

Of course, he wants to watch videos with you. Despite his exhaustion, he'll never turn down an opportunity to spend time with you. Even if he won't admit it, not even to himself, he's a sucker for your hopeful puppy-dog eyes.

"Yeah, sure" he responds, clearing his throat in an attempt to maintain his usual unimpressed demeanor. He steps away from the kitchen door, taking the items you've been holding with him.

Neither of you thought this through very well, because now you're both staring at the common room couch, trying to figure out how to sit so you can share headphones and watch the screen without it getting awkward.

“Maybe we can put the cellphone in the middle of us” he suggests tentatively, and you nod in agreement.

You position the phone in the middle leaning against one of your slippers and pass a headphone to Megumi. You both sit incredibly straight, hands glued to your sides, trying not to make each other uncomfortable. You're so focused on your proximity to Megumi that you hardly pay attention to the YouTuber reacting to a bad movie.

“How is this movie even real?” you chuckle at his incredulous expression.

“What are you talking about? It's the funniest thing ever” you retort, barely containing your laughter.

“It's supposed to be a romance” he argues back, and you can't help but laugh.

“Sure, but it's way funnier if you pretend it's a comedy” you reply, finally allowing yourself to relax, leaning back on your side of the couch and putting your feet up.

“Either way, it's bad” Megumi scoffs, rolling his eyes at you.

You laugh even more, and his chest swells with pride because he's the one making you laugh. Oh, how he loves hearing your laughter—it's enough to brighten his entire day.

After an hour of watching silly reaction videos to the worst movies Megumi has ever seen, the clock strikes three thirty in the morning. The bag of chips lies empty on the coffee table, and there are cookie crumbs scattered everywhere. Your shoulders and knees are touching, and he notices you trying to stifle your third yawn in the last five minutes from the corner of his eye. Your eyes water a little, and you scrunch your nose afterward. He can't help but smile at how cute you are.

He knows you should go to sleep, but you're already selecting another video for him to watch, and you rest your head on his shoulder, not thinking clearly from exhaustion. He allows it because it's you.

"Are you falling asleep on me?" he teases.

“Not a little" you respond, denying his accusation with a sleepy voice, and he chuckles.

"Sure, you're not" he continues to tease, and you agree with him, knowing he's just joking around.

The next time you regain consciousness, your eyes are still closed, but you can sense the brightness outside. It takes a moment for you to grasp your surroundings. Slowly becoming aware of your environment, you feel something under your hand. You move it slightly punch it a little, and it's met with a groan. What the...? Your eyes snap open, and you find yourself staring at a chest—specifically, Megumi's chest.

You slept on the common room couch with Megumi beneath you. Your legs are tangled with his, and your head rests beside your hand on his chest. Carefully, you rise, trying not to disturb him. You gather the trash and your belongings, leaving him the blanket and ensuring he's covered before exiting the room.

Megumi opens his eyes after you slip out the door, a smile playing on his lips. He gets up and folds the blanket, meeting Itadori on his way back from a shower.

"Fushiguro, are you smiling?" the pink-haired boy asks, confused.

"Go away," he replies, shutting the door to his room.

++

Bonus

“You look tired. What time did you go to sleep last night?” Maki asks, eyeing your under-eye bags.

“Uhm, can’t remember,” you reply, struggling to keep your eyes open but dozing off with your head on the table.

"Tuna Mayo," Inumaki says, and Maki turns her head to see a very tired Fushiguro walking through the hall, barely awake and not listening to a word Kugisaki is saying.

Kugisaki's gaze meets Maki's, then she notices you asleep at your desk. Returning her gaze to Maki and Inumaki, she smiles knowingly.

[seriousbrat]

Hi ! I don’t understand why people say Severus was bullied , I don’t think he was because there wasn’t a power imbalance between him and James, and he defended himself didn’t he? He created Sectumsempra for his enemies *aka The Marauders* so he doesn’t look like a victim to me😅! What do you think?

Did we read the same book? haha. Joking aside, I think there are some serious misunderstandings here about bullying. Sev was definitely bullied by James and Sirius. That's just objectively and undeniably true.

First of all, I know I've talked about this recently but there was absolutely a power imbalance between James and Severus. I think you're taking 'power imbalance' to mean 'difference in skill level' perhaps but that isn't what it means necessarily. The power imbalance between them is social. James was a very popular student, Severus was very unpopular. James came from wealth, Sev came from a poor working-class family. James was pureblood, Sev was halfblood. I think the first of these differences is probably the most relevant, but all of them are at play in the dynamic.

Sometimes 'power imbalances' in situations of abuse or mistreatment aren't as clear cut as you'd think. It might be as simple as who's stronger physically, or it might just be about who is more afraid of the other or who has more emotional influence over the other rather than such clearly defined social differences. In the case of James and Severus, however, it's pretty obvious.

Victims of bullying often defend themselves. That's extremely normal, and it's pretty much victim blaming to suggest that a victim is no longer a victim if they can or do defend themselves. Similarly, victims can do bad stuff themselves, and still be victims. Victims are rarely, if ever, "perfect" in the way they respond to abuse or bullying (or in general), and the expectation that they have to be in order to be considered victims contributes to "the myth of the perfect victim", which I encourage you to read further about! Victims often don't "look like" victims when socially we expect them to be meek and harmless and well-behaved. Few people are truly meek and harmless and well-behaved 100% of the time, especially when subject to abuse, bullying, or mistreatment.

Sectumsempra was a horrible spell but that literally doesn't change the fact that Snape was a victim of bullying. Even Snape being a bully years later to Harry and Neville doesn't change the fact that he was once bullied.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 18

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n thanks again for 1k followers! also, taglists are sort of working again, if you're someone that only comes here when you get a tag, you've probably missed a few chapters

previous | masterlist | next

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The airport is a crush of bodies and phones and flashing cameras, staring you down as you follow Seungmin's back through the glass doors and try not to stutter under the weight of so many eyes on you at once.

It happens fast and yet also so very, very slow, every second dripping past so discernibly that you swear you can feel time moving around you. Every breath hitches in your lungs as you walk, every blink of your eyes blinded by the halogen lights overhead or the lense of another camera, searching for the face a manager has tried to hide for you under cap and hood and mask. The clothing is hot and stifling, the collar of your shirt suffocating where it is tucked into the black hoodie, the ends of your hair scratching at the back of your neck, but you're too scared to pull it down or to even look up, your eyes fixed on Seungmin's heels and the tails of the loose shirt he's pulled on just for this walk through the line of fire.

You'd looked for Chan when you'd gotten out of the car, gravitating naturally towards the leader (the one that had defended you online, the one that could look you in the eyes and tell you the truth and went out of his way to prove it the moment he had an opportunity), but he'd fallen back and you'd been steered towards the centre of the group, sticking to Seungmin's side instead. Seungmin was dependable too, like Changbin; unafraid of the crowds that pushed and pulled at each other and tried to lean in close as security shove their way through, and fiercely loyal when the situation called for it.

Seungmin doesn't look back though. He doesn't have time, when the hands to either side are reaching for him just as much as they do to shove you, when hired bodies keep nearly separating you as they move in circles around you, carrying out their job. You're not sure how you could feel so small and alone in such a large crowd of people, seen by so many eyes, but for a moment you do, and then-

An arm lands across the back of your neck, a hand resting casually over your shoulder, pulling you into someone's side. Felix, recogniseable by the soft blue jumper he's wearing and the blonde hair that pokes out from underneath his beanie. You have a feeling he's not supposed to do it, from the wicked gleam in his eye when he glances at you and the way that he marches onward, feet placed deliberately beside yours as if to challenge anyone to tear him away, but you can't find it in yourself to make an excuse and pull back, to walk on your own two feet. 

You were scared, after all; you are scared, even with the reassurance of the weight of his arm around your shoulders and the angle of his body blocking some of the cameras that angle and click and glare at you like if they stare hard enough, you might freely divulge your secrets. You've never seen a crowd like this before, so close and so...mob-like, uncontrolled and ready to roll over each other if it means getting their two seconds of fame, their photo that's unlike any other.

"I get scared too sometimes," Felix says, close enough to your ear that you can hear him over the mayhem. "Just keep walking. The faster we get there, the quicker it'll be over."

"Thanks, Felix," you say in return, but you don't think he can hear you over the crowd. 

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids

@hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts

@puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night

@d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk

@minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification

@starssongs98 @weirdhumanbeinglol @morinuu @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @bokkiesplace

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @skzstaykatsy @blackhairandbangs @jungkookies1002

@hyuuukais @imsiriuslyreal @thatonedemigodfromseoul @gini143 @mercurywritesstuff

@splat00z @filmbypsh @palindrome969 @crabrangoongirl25 @enzos-shit

@jabmastersupriseee @kayleefriedchicken @hynjinswrld @duhgurl @cheshireshiya

@keepswingin

[fumifooms]

"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separated the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting it to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

 Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐓𝐰𝐨-𝐁𝐢𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ notes: tagging @orinscrivellos who motivated me to write this. i really enjoyed doing it

↳ warnings: slight implications of transhobia. nothing directly mentioned

↳ song: a little less conversation—elvis presley

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• Two-Bit thinks you’re super kickass for being out and open about yourself in the way you are. It is the sixties after all, and along with living on the East side of town, you aren’t exactly getting treated the best

• But that doesn’t really matter to you. As long as the gang, and most importantly Two-Bit, likes you, then you couldn’t care less

• So yeah, Two-Bit thinks you’re brave. Probably calls you his ‘fearless knight,’ and treats you poshly for a good laugh sometimes. Or about as posh as he can pretend to get. He’s never been really good at playing a rich character despite his improvisation skills. You suppose it’s the way he was raised, the way all of you were raised, that makes it difficult

• Is loud and proud about you being his partner. Unless you want him keeping it under wraps, Two-Bit will pretty much scream it from the mountain tops about how much he loves his boyfriend. Consequences be damned

• “Golly, Two, you just don’t stop talking about him do you?” Ponyboy ogles at his friend as they make their way down the street, heading to meet you for a night out at the Nightly Double. He was in disbelief that anyone could ever talk so much and for so long, much less about the same thing. Even Soda didn’t use to talk about Sandy this much

• “Nope!” Two-Bit pops his ‘p’ loudly, grinning like a shark as he continues on with his train of thought. Pony just shook his head in a mix of awe and horror, already regretting that he had thought to ask Two-Bit how you had been doing. And that was over ten minutes ago!

• Two-Bit has definitely gotten into fights to ‘defend your honor,’ as he likes to put it—most of the time he can hear people at his school bad mouthing you, which any one of you can handle. You don’t live the greaser life without getting your name dragged through the mud after all—but when they start throwing out those names about you, he’ll start a fight quicker than you could blink

• “Oh glory.” You stare at Two-Bit unblinking one afternoon. Two shiny new black eyes peer back, accompanied by a split lip, and you have to resist the urge to drag a hand down your face in exhaustion.All you had wanted to do is come pick him up from his house, and you were met with this mess

• “What? I’ve been trying on a new look. What do you think baby?“

• “I think you’re stupid.” You don't even have to ask how he got those, you already know. A part of you swells with affection at the thought of him caring about you enough to do that, but the more responsible part of you pushed it down in order to sigh

• “But you love me.” Two-Bit retorts with a gleeful laugh, sounding like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Which he doesn’t. In his eyes, he’s got all he ever needs. A mom that loves him, a sister that adores his jokes, friends that have his back, and a handsome boyfriend. What more could a greaser like him want?

• If you come out and then transition, in that order, Two-Bit and everyone would definitely help you with your new style. They’ve spent their entire lives in boys clothes, so they have plenty of fashion tips, if you can even call them that, and materials to spare

• if you wear a bigger size, or want baggier clothing, Dallas and Two-Bit with go and nab pretty much anything you want from the nearby corner store. If you like tighter fitting clothing, or run a little gangly, you are always welcome to borrow one of Pony or Johnny’s outfits. They’d give them to you in a heartbeat if you asked

• Hair greasing lessons! They’ll teach you how to grease your hair up nice so you’ll look tuff, until eventually you’ve learned to do it all by yourself. Two-Bit always smiles the biggest when you come out of the bathroom with your hair slicked back. He likes to think he’s got the best looking partner this side of the railroad tracks

• It doesn’t matter what kind of body you have or want. Two-Bit will support you all the way. It’s not like you can really afford testosterone or major surgery considering you live in the slums of Tulsa with everyone else, and those services aren’t exactly offered to the public thanks to laws at the time, but if you manage to get our hands on any of that stuff, the gang will support your recovery/shot sessions all the way; bringing you whatever you need in the moment and all that jazz, even if Dallas or Steve gripe about running errands

• “Here’s your stupid bandaids.” Dally threw a small cardboard box onto the foot of the couch you were sitting on with a slight rattle. You look up to thank him, and he just blows out a bit of smoke from his mouth. You had half a mind to ask him for a drag of his cigarette, but knew Darry would kill you if he caught you smoking after administering testosterone. He was already nervous enough about you constantly taking shots, so you didn’t want to worry him anymore

• “No problem.” Dallas’ gaze drifted over to Two-Bit, who was sitting next to you, and he smiled lazily

• “Hey Two? If the two of you are banging, does that make you gay, or straight?”

• Dally walked away from that conversation that day with a bruise on his arm and a big laugh tumbling from his lips

[pinkandpurple360]

New happy ending for the Full Moon episode! So Stol/tz ‘breakup’ happens, Blitzo goes back to his apartment, upset and worn out. He gets a text from Fizz asking how it went (since Fizz lent him the sex toys or whatever) and goes over to Fizz’s place to return whatever it was he borrowed and didn’t use.

Fizz notices he’s upset and they talk. Now Fizz is feeling less insecure about his own relationship with Ozzie he doesn’t project the whole ‘you just hate him for being rich’ thing onto Blitzo this time and instead he just. Listens. He realizes in like a microsecond that Stolas is nothing like Ozzie - Ozzie cares about his comfort and his consent. Stolas cared about using Blitzo to get off, then blamed him for feeling used once he decided he wanted something real. He’s horrified and gives Blitzo a much needed hug, apologizing for making Blitzo feel like he was going crazy thinking something was wrong between him and Stolas.

Blitzo chuckles and says something else that makes Fizz’s blood run cold: Stolas is the noble Buckzo sold him to that day all those years ago and ever since it's been like he can't escape him. If only he hadn't gotten caught stealing that book... But Fizz doesn’t have much time to compute that before Blitzo follows up with: ‘but you’ve always been my real childhood friend. The whole time I just wished I was playing with you. I always wished I was with you.’ They both realize Blitzo has just said ‘I love you’ without saying it and Blitzo gets up to try to leave, panicked

For a second Fizz just watches him and Blitzo thinks he’s lost him for good & is juuuust about to start tearing up when Fizz's mechanical arm winds around Blitzo’s hand, stopping him.

Fizz tells him ‘you know… I bet Ozzie and I can make room for one more’. Blitzo turns back, now openly crying. Fizz pulls him in for another hug

Cut to Blitzo snuggled up between the two of them in the big love heart bed, post 'breakup' ice cream bowl in hand as the two of them just let him eat ice cream, cry and spill his guts about how awful the whole arrangement was until he’s feeling safer and happier

/end scene

Fuck that hits heavy

Imagine the character growth of fizz not being such a pushover for royals, Blitzø being the one to really get him to that point because of what happened with Mammon. Blitzø apologises for implying Ozzie was treating fizz some kind of way. But he still knew fizz was off. Saying things defensively in a way he never used to, defending abusive people out of his own insecurity, his denial that mammon was abusing him because sometimes you just want someone to be better than they are.

Blitzø shows him bruising on his scarred side where stolas likes to yank at his face whenever he got angry or got mad at Blitzø for being “too mouthy” or doing something uncouth. Which was often. Fizz says mammon always did that too, but always mixed it with compliments and nice sounding words. Causing confusion. Exactly like stolas calling Blitzø ‘darling’ before glaring at him with those terrifying, manic, glowing red eyes, so full of disdain.

They both promise not to call each other ‘fizzy’ or ‘Blitzy’ , so happy to not have to ‘perform’ monthly or annually in bed or on stage for nasty royal demons whims. It’s finally over.

Asmodeus actually is the jealous type. Very jealous. A third would have to be someone really special, who he trusts. And he really does trust. When he sees them curled up together though, he doesn’t feel mad, he sees fizz in a calmer state than he’s ever been, this Blitzø is someone Ozzie has always known was important to fizz. He never shuts up about him. Now he knows their love for each other is even older than his own and he respects that. They’re both just so darn cute. And they’re both so happy he helped them reunite. With the three of them together that big bed doesn’t feel so big anymore, and it’s twice as warm as it used to be ❤️💚💙

[thepenultimateword]

Too Tall Part Six

I missed my awkward space babies

||Part One||Part Two||Part Three||Part Four||Part Five||

Antolin held a hair tie in his teeth as he gathered his hair into a half-knot. His face was still pale, and his leg throbbed like hell, but he finally had the energy for an outing. Though, conscious to preserve that energy, he currently sat on the end of his bed, the wall mirror taken down and propped haphazardly in an open dresser drawer.

He turned his reflection from side to side as he ran his fingers through the top layer of tangles, scrutinizing the deep blue cross-wrap shirt from all angles. It had been a rather long time since he'd been on shore leave, so It had taken forever to find an outfit that wasn't a uniform or lounge clothes. The shirt's neck plunged a little low for comfort. It looked strange. Was that out of unfamiliarity or because it actually looked bad? He hadn't minded the look before, but now after several years of tight, high collars, he felt almost indecently exposed.

“You can’t be serious.”

Antolin briefly met Zae’s glaring eyes in the mirror. “What?" He took the hair tie in his hand and pulled the tail through two and a half times. "It’s just a walk.”

“You aren’t actually interested in that bloodmonger, are you?”

He picked up a hairpin with dangling blue glass beads and paused. Interested? Unai had been interesting since the moment she arrived on-station. But Zae was talking romantically, wasn't she? That was a much harder question. Antolin had always planned on having a relationship with another human--if his job ever gave him the time that was. Unai was about the furthest thing from a typical future that he could imagine. The culture, the planet...the height. Not bad...but complicated. Different. However, he had grown used to her presence. And the idea of going out to do something un-work related did make his heart speed a little fast. Not that any of that was enough to make sense of.

“I don’t know," he said. "Admittedly, it is a little strange. But I do like her. To what extent I’m still not sure. In any case, we're friends."

Zae frowned deeper, folding her long, slender arms. "She’s arrogant."

Antolin offered a half-shrug as he slid the pin into his bun. “She’s arrogant because she has a right to be. She does her job with a proficiency and vigor I’ve rarely seen.”

“Only because she’s trying to impress you. I swear, the rumors I've heard around the station since she's arrived. Does she have no shame?"

Rumors? He'd have to probe around about that once he was up and able again.

“I highly doubt she would have reached the rank of captain without a good work ethic.”

“Alright, but that doesn’t change that she's Ke'turian--an incredibly violent species. They take whatever they want by force. And you're human."

Antolin frowned at the implication. Did everyone see him as weak? He'd proven himself multiple times on the Zenith, enough times to get this position. Yet, sometimes, he had the impression that everyone was simply humoring him. His stripes held the threat of federal discipline, so they did as they were told. But they didn't actually respect him. Obviously whoever was letting in their enemies found him an easy target. And now Zae felt the need to fret over him as if he were a child. He even doubted his own abilities after that terrible fight with the Lasters.

But then there was Unai. She had said she'd battle alongside him. Surely a Ke'turian would know best about battle. It hadn't felt like a lie, even with her abrupt retreat after saying it.

He drew himself up in his seat. "I'm quite capable of defending myself against any threat. Ke'turians included." The cold tone clearly struck Zae because she immediately dropped her gaze. Satisfied, he allowed a little warmth back into his words as turned away from the mirror to face her head-on. "But I can hardly picture Captain Unai attacking me."

Zae remet his eyes, clearly unconvinced. "Be careful."

He rolled his eyes. "I will. Promise. Now," he grasped his crutch, shoving himself to his feet and limping a couple feet out from the bed. "How do I look?"

Zae sighed. "Like you think you're going on a date."

***

Unai's long stride had brought her to Hayes's door too quickly. She was at least 15 clicks too early. Knocking on the door now would be an embarrassment, another overeager display of her one-sided affections. That was...if they were one-sided. Because this was a date. Right? She'd at least intended it to be when she originally asked--or tried to ask. She wasn't certain what it was now that Hayes had taken ownership of the excursion.

Unai leaned back against the metal wall. She shouldn't ask. If Hayes hadn't intended anything by proposing a walk--which he probably hadn't--it would be uncomfortable to bring it up. Not to mention the recent gossip on the topic. She'd never been subtle, but it was a little ridiculous that her connection to Hayes was being so blown out of proportion now. She really hoped Hayes hadn't caught wind of any of it. She'd specifically left mention of it out of their conversations in case the bother affected his health or his opinion of her.

She checked her communicator's clock function. Still 13 clicks early. Maybe it was alright to be at least 5 clicks early. Punctuality was a virtue. So that only left 8 to go. Manageable.

She smoothed the front of her plain black tunic for probably the fifth time since putting it on. The collar settled comfortably just below her throat, only a little lower than that of her uniform, but the sleeveless nature of the garment had her a little uneasy. On Ke'tukar, bared arms to a potential mate were as obvious a signal for courtship as shouting it aloud; she doubted Hayes knew that, but it hadn't stopped her from wanting to do so anyway, just as her own personal declaration.

Another glance at her communicator. 5 more clicks. Well, maybe 10 clicks early would actually be fine.

Unai raised her hands to the door and hesitated. She'd been letting herself in these past weeks anyway. And Hayes didn't always hear the knock. Maybe she should simply enter as usual. That might even let Hayes know the stooping level of her expectations.

She pressed the door button, moving forward as the door slid open. And nearly ran into Lt. Zae in the process.

Unai backed up quickly as the Lieutenant's initial surprise faded, and she stepped into the hall, punching the door button back to closed as she did so.

"Captain." Her address was chilled as usual, and her silver eyes roamed up and down Unai's frame with an almost sick regard.

"Lieutenant," Unai returned through gritted teeth.

"Subtle are we?"

"Forgive me, Lieutenant, but I don't understand what you're implying."

Lt. Zae nodded at one of Unai's arms. "Ke'turian females woo the males by exposing their arms. A show of the strength you have to offer. I hope you are not expecting Commander Hayes to fall prey to such a spectacle."

Unai fought down the flutter of her collar and set her jaw.

"My clothing has no intention outside of its flattering fit, and even if it did, I don't see how it's any of your business."

Lt. Zae rose up to her full stringy height--a little higher than midchest--the already pinkish hue of her skin darkening with contempt. "Commander Hayes is my longtime colleague, commander, and friend. You expect me to be delighted at his dalliances with a Ke'turian military officer?"

Unai wished she could roar in the face of this disrespect. Bare her fangs, raise her collar, and challenge Lt. Zae to a combat of honor. But that would only upset Hayes and satisfy the Lieutenant's bad opinion of her. Instead, she let her fangs only show slightly. "Xersians and Ke'turians may have differing ideals, but I never knew a Xersian to be openly prejudiced toward an entire species."

"It's not the Ke'turian species trying to initiate courtship with Antolin. It is only one."

Unai knew it shouldn't matter, but that casual first name drop made her insides twinge. Lt. Zae really was on closer terms with Hayes. But that still did not excuse whatever she was being accused of. "Am I missing something, Lieutenant?"

"You Ke'turian’s are as aggressive when courting as you are when fighting. You expect me to trust a species that takes their mates by force?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent; I've read up on Ke'turian customs. Fighting other females to the death. Taking the males to husband--sometimes by physical force--without allowing any sort of choice. It's disgusting."

“What?” Unai cried, her collar flapping up irritatedly. “Maybe a few centuries ago! Where did you read that, a history book?"

"It was a modern study on various species' courting rituals."

"Written by who? A Xersian?"

"The libraries on Xersa have an extensive collection of research. All of which is heavily peer-reviewed and fact checked."

"Sounds like your libraries are trash, if that counts as heavily fact-checked. Ke'turian courtships are consensual. If I am denied, I will give up my pursuit entirely." It hurt to say aloud, like a rock sinking to the bottom of her stomach. But it was true. Her advances only went as far as Hayes accepted them. Maybe that was another reason she wasn't being totally forward. Once she received the official no, it was done. She'd rather bide her time in hopes of a one-day yes.

Lt. Zae blinked a few times. Taking in the offense and the claim all at once. Her face contorted from enraged, to considering, to flat. "I...will check a few more sources. However, my current trust remains nonexistent. If I hear of anything unsavory occurring on this 'walk', I will use my current commanding power to dismiss you from the station. Clear?"

"Perfectly," Unai growled. She maneuvered around the Xersian, pressing the door button with a large, intentional gesture. As it slid back, she stepped into Hayes' quarters without a second glance at the eyes piercing her back.

Hayes hastily pushed himself up on his crutch as she entered. "Captain Unai!"

"Commander!" she returned, nearly on choking the greeting. He wore a blue tunic-style shirt that cross-wrapped over his chest, but not before dipping just below his clavicle.

No. No. She was not going to be accused of ogling again.

Unai forced her gaze away from his elegant neck and the peeking portion of--despite his months in bed--a toned chest. She didn't know why she had expected him to be in uniform today. Maybe because besides the sleep clothing he wore in his quarters, she'd never seen him in anything else. He seemed like the type who would sleep in his uniform if it weren't for the discomfort and possible damage to the material.

It turned out averting her eyes from the outfit did nothing to save her. Haye's long, dark hair, fell in full curls over his shoulder, and the little tendrils that were too small to be pulled into his half bun framed his face in a messy, tousled sort of way. His eyes, as dark and deep as ever, studied her intensely.

She looked down at the floor before he could see the full extent of her admiration.

You mean attraction, she corrected internally. Who do you think you're kidding?

Well, if this wasn't a date, hopefully Hayes.

After a few moments, when no reproach or teasing remarks came, Unai forced her gaze back up. Hayes was still staring at her. Not the piercing, soul-exposing way he usually looked at her, but like...like he was caught up in a thought.

"Hayes?"

Hayes jolted and cleared his throat. "You, uh, look nice."

Unai mustered every bit of her strength to keep her collar pinned taughtly against her neck. "Thank you. So do you." She awkwardly extended her arm. "Shall we?"

Hayes limped forward and took gentle hold of the crook of her arm with his free hand. He smiled briefly up at her with what seemed like...nerves? No, it was probably just uneasiness about going out for the first time. His leg was probably pretty sore.

"So, Captain, what did you have planned?"

[uriekukistan]

alright i've been seeing so much megumi hate recently, and especially after the new chapter (not on here, mostly twitter youtube and tiktok), so as president of the megumi defense squad, here is my dissertation defending him against the bum allegations.

i've seen a lot of people comparing megumi's situation to yuuji in shibuya, and saying that megumi should be able to "just get up and keep fighting," so i'm going to tell you why this is not a fair comparison, and give some context on yuuji's "recovery" from shibuya that i feel people are missing when they say this. this is quite lengthy, sorry in advance

i. fundamental differences in the ways in which yuuji & megumi view saving people

yuuji wants to save everyone. he wants to save as many people as he can because of what his grandfather said to him on his deathbed. this is what kickstarted the events of jjk. if yuuji hadn't felt this way, he never would have eaten that finger to say some guy he met an hour ago, which is another point. yuuji cares for people easily. he threw his life on the line to save megumi immediately after meeting him. he mourned junpei, who he spent all of a few hours with in total like he had known him for years.

this is very different from megumi, who both does not get attached to people easily, and does not care to save everyone. he only cares to save people he deems worthy, and as far as we know, this list consists of only tsumiki and yuuji. its even unclear if he feels this way about nobara or gojo, despite them also being relatively important in his life. as you can see, when he thinks about saving people by his conscience, the only two characters shown are tsumiki and yuuji.

this is why he sometimes gets some criticism for not doing a half-assed job as a sorcerer, but i think its important to remember that he does not actually want to be a sorcerer, only doing it out of necessity to keep tsumiki from the zen'in clan. the times where we do see him taking things seriously are when yuuji and/or tsumiki's lives are what's at stake.

so in shibuya, after watching his own hands slaughter innocent people, and watching nanami and nobara die, yuuji is able to keep going because there are still more people who need to be saved, and he wants to save everyone. in contrast, megumi has watched his own hands kill one of the two people that he cares about saving, and severely maim the other one, so what is there to keep fighting for, given the way he views the world?

and i think it's also important to note that megumi has not been aware of his surroundings since sukuna v yorozu, so saying that he should get up now to save yuuji is not reasonable because he doesn't even know yuuji is there.

ii. the environment yuuji was in in shibuya vs the environment megumi is in right now

now none of that is to say that yuuji did not also break down and want to give up in shibuya, because he absolutely did (actually, im not sure if this is canon or just my theory, but the reason he did not switch back with sukuna at the detention center was because he wanted to give up), but the circumstances were way different

within minutes of watching nanami and nobara die, todo & nitta were there to encourage him and get him back on his feet (most of that was due to todo, but nitta was also telling yuuji not to lose hope).

meanwhile, megumi has been alone for over a month now, save the few seconds in 251 where i'm pretty sure he didn't even know yuuji was there, with nothing but his own misery to keep him company. sukuna took over his body and killed tsumiki with megumi's technique on november 16th. the shinjuku showdown takes place on december 24th. that's over a month stewing in guilt and mourning with no one to support him at all. that makes it a lot more difficult to bounce back quickly like that.

iii. more context on yuuji

even after todo's little pep talk that gave him the strength to get up and finish mahito off, yuuji didn't just "bounce back" and stand up to keep fighting in the way people think he did. in the days following the shibuya incident, he was really directionless, probably a bit reckless, because he genuinely didn't know what to do with himself, and didn't know if he even deserved to be alive. in my personal interpretation of yuuji immediately post-shibuya, if it weren't for choso, he would have likely lost his life, as he just showed a lack of self-regard in those days following. just one example:

it's not until megumi shows up again that yuuji finds a direction to go, and even then, he's operating with the mindset that once everything is over, megumi and tsumiki are safe, and gojo is unsealed, he will die and stop causing trouble for everyone.

so again, i think the megumi/yuuji comparison as a way to hate on megumi is not fair, both because there are important differences in the way they think and their situations, and because yuuji's reaction post shibuya isn't quite as resolved and strong as people make it out to be. this is not to say that yuuji is not strong! he absolutely is, just to point out that he, like megumi, was/is also lacking the will to live, and there's nothing wrong with that! wanting to give up is a completely reasonable reaction to being in this situation as an ADULT, let alone at 15 years old.

if you've made it this far, thank you for listening to me ramble 🙏 pls let me know any of your thoughts as well, i'd love to chat about this!

[sitp-recs]

Hello heart ! I love your rescs and was thinking of ordering something! Currently I have already finished reading your 4 voolumenes (possibly have a session for this couple) the fact is that I am looking for something specific. I adore dramatic declrations! I was wondering if you had any fanfic in mind with anything related! I love it when Darry surprises everyone! It also works if they are declarations of marriage or even declarations of change of sides in the war! Anything drarry that surprises the world!

Hello hello! Oh that’s a really interesting ask, I love that concept! I have a reclist for dramatic love confessions here, but I think you might also enjoy these fics. This reclist clearly got a bit out of hand (as per lol) so I’ve shortened the summaries to keep it clean, hope that’s ok!

I, Ferret by curiouslyfic (T, 2k)

Draco's embraced his inner Ferret. Now it's Harry's turn. Starring Veela!Draco, mpreg, an old wives' tale, and a Weddiwizard.

Game On by @pennygalleon (T, 5k)

Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.

(Un)Calculated Risk by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 7k)

He thought about the way Harry looked at him, smiled at him; about the way Draco’s head was nearly always full of him, all day every day, and about the way Draco sometimes deliberately went to bed still smelling of him, refusing to acknowledge what it meant.

Gravity Centered by carpemermaid (E, 7k)

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are two of the best flyers in the International Professional Broom Racing League.

Silence series by RurouniHime (E, 10k)

It was his battle, yet he never hurt me, and he could have.

A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)

Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.

I'll never be your chosen one by @andithiel (E, 15k)

Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.

Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)

Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person.

Reparatio by astolat (E, 17k)

Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”

Touch Me Fall by @lqtraintracks (E, 23k)

Malfoy was such a ponce. And he was a complete snob. And he was so fucking fit Harry wanted to jump him where he sat. It would be too easy to forget his objective tonight: to really, really, really get Malfoy out of his system.

Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)

As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

The Wand Slipped by @unmistakablyoatmeal (E, 35k)

After a messy, public divorce and a disgraceful exit from the Auror Department, Harry is trying to rebuild his life as a private investigator.

Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by @sleepstxtic (E, 42k)

A story of love and loss that grew amidst the most infamous rivalry in Formula One history: the story of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

The Greatest Game by @sleepstxtic (E, 45k)

The Greatest Game is something more. The drama, the tension, the narrative that the other games lack. There is a story here. Two rivals with a history spanning years; the oldest, most illustrious prize to be won.

Knockturn Soulmates series by @xanthippe74 (M, 60k)

Fate brought them together. Now the real work begins, as Harry and Draco try to merge their starkly different lives without being torn away from everything they hold dear.

The Compact by astolat (E, 64k)

Hermione frowned. “The real question is why the magic of Britain would be failing now, in fact.”. “That is not the real question!” Ron said loudly. “The real question is, how do we fix it?”

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 104k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)

Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 139k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Things Worth Knowing by Femme and noeon (E, 164k)

After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors.

[firemenenthusiast]

—“let it grow”

jann mardenborough x fem! reader

summary: nothing left to do when jann finally gets a new haircut except going absolutely feral

content warnings: 18+, smut, porn with plot, fluff, sub! jann, soft jann, whiny whimpery jann, restraint (?) jann being tied up, oral fixation, p in v (wrap it bro), f! masturbation (reader putting on a show for jann), cum eating, cumshots, pussy job, slight size kink

a/n: @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha had me promise to write some smut so yall have them to thank

looking at the last couple of years it can be said that there’s a surge in the sport’s popularity. not that it wasn’t ever popular but recently there are newcomers to the car racing fanclub. it attracts new big companies to invest and offer sponsorships to the label making jann busier than ever.

-especially it being almost the starting of a new season and all. sometimes he’s too caught up with work that you cant help but feeling left behind. he’d be out at the most random times of the day sometimes even when you’re getting ready for bed. that’s the norm you have to accept knowing your boyfriend does not have a fixed working schedule. when danny manages to slide them in for a meeting with a new client, he needs to be there. he’s become too busy that he doesn’t even have time to get his hair cut. his adorable undercut has now fully grown to the same length of the rest of his hair.

you dont really mind his grown hair because you get to enjoy watching him getting ready, putting products into his curls. one of the things you find him adorable for is the fact that he takes good care of his hair so eventho its grown, he keeps it neat and healthy. you can sit and watch him for hours on end, especially after he had left for a particularly long period where he doesn’t really have time for all the products. so when he comes home, you both will spend the free time just talking and enjoying each other’s presence while he grooms himself. sometimes you’d even help getting the back of his hair where he couldn’t see or reach. or when he got tired from doing the rest

“but its getting too long babe, i need to keep it short for the balaclava” he defends himself. he’s been complaining about how his hair’s getting into his face when he wears the helmet and how uncomfortable its becoming. you pout at his reasoning, not wanting him to cut his hair. “nooo please keep ittt,, you’ve never let it grow ever. plus you look-“ you trail off from your sentence, turning your head to a different direction. too shy to admit it. he searches into your face, raising his arms. “i look…?” you turn your head even further as he follows, chasing your face. “-hot.” you say under your breath. his cheeks heat up at your words before deciding to tease you

“come again ?”

“no”

he let out a laugh as he pulls you in for a back hug, his large arms squeezing your sides. he rests his head on top of yours, swaying the both of you. “im sorry baby but i need to, okay?” you purse your lips shut, pouting. you keep quiet as you give him a look. “i’ll take that as a yes ?” he quickly give you a kiss before planting a peck on your forehead, reaching for his jacket from the couch. standing beside the doorframe, you watch him as he gets into his porsche. you wave at him, smiling as he drives off, thinking about how he’s probably gonna get a haircut.

his first race of the season is this weekend so you have to leave for the airport tomorrow. as you’re packing his and your stuff into the luggage your hear the front door being unlocked. he’s back. you continue arranging the clothes so they can all fit, subconsciously anticipating for the suprise of seeing his new haircut. you hear him calling for you from downstairs before his voice’s getting nearer. the door to your bedroom swings open to reveal an excited, jumpy jann with a huge smile across his face. “honey, im homeee” he jokes, acting like a husband who just got back from his 9-5 job. this is the jann you’d get called a liar for when telling his team about his behaviour. they dont believe that he actually acts like this around you. but jack does, he knows how jann actually is. you turn to face him as you’re being met with the fresh haircut, making him almost unrecognizable. it reminds you of when you first met him years ago. when he just got into racing, back when he was so shy to people and to you. especially you. if you could comically describe the feeling you’re feeling rn, it is as if your heart just got shot by cupids arrow. awestruck. it’s like having a crush on him for the second time. not like you’re not crushing on him every other day but the haircut makes you want to do things to him. you feel heat creeping across your cheek before rushing to your core.

seeing you quiet and not returning any reaction panics him. every possible scenario of you breaking up with him because of that haircut plays into his mind. “baby..?” he steps closer, slowly walking towards you. “hey look, if you dont like it i can- um, i can wear my durag all the time. you like it when i do, right ?” he offers, him internally panicking shows the most adorable side of him. not in a million years does he want to do anything you dont like. you get up from the floor just as you finish up on packing. “lemme- let me get that,,” he quickly reach for the luggage to help you zip them up. you walk to your bed, footsteps heavy as he follows from behind like a lost puppy. he’s worrying hard that you’re being quiet. as you lay your butt on the soft material he kneels before you, looking up at you with eyes filled with panic and worry. “please say something baby” you look down at him rubbing at your legs before reaching down to cup his face, smoothing over his also newly shaved skin. gosh he looks so cute

you trail your fingers from his cheek to his mouth, feeling his plump lips before pushing your fingers past them. he closes his lips around your fingers, sucking at them as you push down on his tongue. “you’re funny, jann” he blinks, listening attentively before you continue,

“you’re funny if you think you can look like this and expect me to not fuck you”

he shakes his head thinking you’d want him to deny it. your pull your fingers out, strings of saliva attached to it as you wipe it on his cheek. you tsk at him being silent. “do you remember when we first started dating ?” a smile creeps onto his face as the memories slip into his mind. he nods. “-you looked exactly like you do right now.” his smile grows wider. a lot about him has changed but one thing that wont, is how he’s willing to let you fuck him dumb anytime. especially when he deserves it. wasting no time, you lean down to crash your lips onto his as you fingers rake up the fresh undercut he just got. a shiver goes down his spine feeling the tips of your fingers graze the back of his head before they pull at the strands at the top. your noses bump against each other as you suck on his bottom lips hungrily. the haircut’s really making you go feral.

you get up from the bed ushering him to do the same. the kiss got interrupted for a second before you pull him down by his crewneck, making him lean down. he returns your kiss sloppily, spit getting smeared all over your mouths before you pull away to take a breath. his mouth chases yours, not wanting to stop kissing your lips ever if he could. he begins to suck at your tongue as his lips continue lapping at yours like a starved animal. just as you pull away he let out a whine in protest. his eyes droopy, lips shiny as he steps back, obeying your hand on his chest before you push him onto the bed. as soon as he’s settled he’s quick to take off his sweater earning a giggle from you. as his hand move to reach the hem of his sweatpants next you stop him, “ah-ah” while grabbing his hand. he smiles sheepishly as he obeys, settling his hands on his sides instead. you get off the bed to pick up something off the floor hidden by the luggage, holding it carefully to not let jann see what it is. you climb back onto the bed, straddling him before you grind teasingly against his prominent bulge. he lets out a soft moan thinking you’re gonna make him cum soon. you chuckle at his response before grabbing both his hands and bringing them to his back before tying them together with his tie that you just picked off the floor. you didn’t tie it tight but he knows not to break the knot. he’s learned his lesson the hard way. you climb off the bed before taking off all your clothes at the edge of it, making sure he’s watching

“my sweet jann, i always miss you dearly when you’re busy” you tell him dramatically. its true tho, you do. he watches your ass bounce closely as you’re walking towards the wardrobe, glancing at him behind your shoulder. you search into the wardrobe before reaching just the thing you need before slipping it through your head. his gt academy t-shirt. the size of the shirt is just enough to slightly cover your bare pussy. you turn to look at him as he throws his head back, cursing under his breath. “fuck- is that..?” he blinks a few times, making sure he’s seeing the right thing

“yes” you confirm, before continuing

“it gets lonely, so this shirt will have to do” you say as you take a deep whiff of the scent on his shirt.

his chest is heaving hard, nervous as to find out what you’re planning on doing

“you wanna know what i do when you’re not there to help me ?” he watches closely as you walk towards the edge of the bed, climbing onto it. you start roaming your hands across your stomach before reaching up, the shirt caught together with your arm as you play with your nipples. starting off slow, you graze your nails across them before groping at your tits, putting on a show for him. you notice his cock twitching in his pants, forming a small dark patch at the tip. his mouth is slightly agape as his eyebrows furrow. “oh- fuck” he throws his head back, barely able to handle seeing you like this.

“its nothing compared to your fingers but-“ you sigh, purposely not finishing the sentence as you start rubbing your clit slowly. you look down, your fingers collecting the wetness as you spread your folds. you inch your knees forward closer to him, to really let him have a good look. “m’so wet for you jann,,” you tease, as he licks his lips, not knowing to look at your face or your hand while you play with your clit. as you start rubbing your fingers through your folds he shuts his eyes closed. he swears he almost came when you start letting out noises, the pretty little noises that could be the death of him.

fucking yourself on your fingers while wearing his shirt infront of him, you let out a moan as you call out his name in a high pitched whine. your fingers move rapidly as you feel your orgasm approaching. “m’so close jann, fuck-“ you manage to let out before the waves come crashing down, your knees growing weak. jann struggles to hold himself back from coming undone in his pants while he forces his hips down from buckling upwards. “please…,,you’re gonna-” he starts to plead before you shut him up by stuffing your fingers that were collecting your cum into his mouth. he hums at the taste, closing his eyes savouring it. you feel his tongue swirl around your fingers before you pull them out. “good boy” more precum seeps out of his hard cock as he feels himself growing harder. you lean in to kiss him, your fingers sprawled across the side of his face. he tries to prop himself up better so he can return your kiss harder but fails. trailing your kisses from his mouth to his neck, you make sure to bite and suck at the skin, gaining moans from him.

reaching behind him to untie the restraint, he looks up at you as soon as his hands are free. his eyes search into yours for permission, “can i-?” you nod at him before saying,

“fuck me jann, fuck me like you miss me”

he wastes no time flipping you over, taking the gt shirt off before pinning you down, earning a yelp from you. its now his turn to kiss at your neck, his kisses sloppy and wet. he’s sucking and biting at the skin that will surely leave marks. his hands roam uncontrollably all over your body, after being deprived of touching you. he wanted to touch you so bad but he patiently waited. he knows if he’s good you’re gonna award him. his patience earlier proved its worth now that he gets to fuck you. your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer as his hand works the hem of his sweatpants. his thick hard cock grazes your pussy before slapping at his lower stomach. you look down at his happy trail below his navel, covered by the size of his length. his hot mouth is now settled on one of your tits, tongue lapping at the nipple before sucking at it. he greedily attempts on putting the whole of your breast into his mouth, covering them all with spit.

“fuck- mhmfh,, fuck” he curses as his hand strokes his throbbing wet cock, getting it ready for your pussy, momentarily pulling away from stuffing his face in between your breasts. he decides to tease you by rubbing his length betwen your folds, spreading your wetness all over it. he grabs his cock before tapping the tip on your clit, grinning at you as he does so. your faces inches away from each other, you could feel his hot breath fanning over your face. he has one elbow propped beside your face, his eyes eyes directly boring into yours. theres a slight glint in them, making you lose yourself in his eyes. he prods his cock at your entrance before bottoming out, earning a high pitched moan from you while he let out a low groan. he rests his head beside yours for a moment before looking at you for green light.

you reach up to kiss him as you nod. he winces at the tight fit of your pussy, the warmth engulfing him, making him lost in the pleasure. your pussy always feels so good for him, always a perfect fit for his thick cock. “ahh- mfhm,, so nice- s’warm”he says as he starts moving, it didn’t take long until he starts properly fucking you. moving his hips rapidly as the sound skin slapping and a mix of you and his moans fill the room. he whines as he feel his tip nudging your wet walls, making squelching sounds. he looks down at his cock splittling your pussy open, “fffuck-!” shaking his head, the view messing with his mind. it’s all so hot to him. as he feel your walls clench around him, his free hand reaches down to rub at your clit, occasionally pressing down to add onto the pressure. your fingers graze across his broad shoulders, your nails slightly digging into his skin earning a whimper from him. his head is resting at the crook of your neck, you can hear the small whimpers escaping his lips every now and then.

his cock buried deep, fucking into your pussy as you can feel his thrusts getting sloppier. he raises his head to start kissing at your tits again, before looking up at you, putting on his pleading eyes.

“what do you need baby ?”

“can i- fuck” he gets interrupted by your walls clenching around him

“can i cum on your tits-? these- these pretty tits,,” he mumbles the last bit of his sentences as he continues lapping at your nipples. throwing your head back, you almost can’t register what he’s saying from the pleasure as you just nod. he’s been so good, he deserves whatever he wants. you let out a dragged out whine as he pulls out, hands stroking his cock rapidly as he aims at your tits. you feel his warm seed landing on your breasts as you watch him shoot thick ropes of his cum onto you, some getting on your stomach. you reach your hand to your chest, collecting some of it before sucking your fingers clean.

he looks down at your body glistening with sweat and his cum, chest heaving trying to catch his breath. he runs his hand on his forehead, just below his new haircut. “fuck” he curses, before leaning down to kiss you, resting his forehead against yours. you let a smile rip on your face, before asking, “you okay ?” he nods, “never better” you let out a small laugh as he joins you

“i should get haircuts more often”

taglist: @june-ebgert @radioloom @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @themoonchildwhofell @love-me-pls @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha

[yanderes-galore]

I've been waiting for this! Darling almost gets caught by the Unknown before the fog gets them. Darling thinks she's "safe" (away from the Unknown) before going on trial and seeing it again. I think Unknown would be happy to see a previous almost victim.

I was originally going to make this a concept but I don't think that would do it justice. So, here's a one shot :) The cool thing about this killer is I don't have to do much research since you're meant to not know anything about it.

Gender is Gender-Neutral as I just... Never said any pronouns- I got too focused on the spooky.

I got really into this, sorry it isn't fully spell checked 😅 I am my only editor, lol.

Reoccurring Nightmare

"Yandere!" The Unknown Story

Pairing: Dubious intentions

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, "Obsession", Stalking, Kidnapping (Technically), Grotesque descriptions, Primarily just horror themes, Violence, Dubious intentions.

Sometimes people get into things they shouldn't. Sometimes you come across something that you shouldn't have known about. Unfortunately, accident or not, there is still consequences.

Poor you probably didn't even mean to get involved with The Fog or The Unknown. If anything, you just wanted to know what happened to your lost friends. Mikaela and Sable have been gone for a long time now....

The search for your friends accidentally got you involved in a darker scheme than you thought. Unbeknownst to you, simply searching got you caught in the crosshairs of something... otherworldly. You had no clue until it decided to strike.

It started with an uneasy feeling. The constant feeling of being watched. Perhaps that was just you being anxious... You are worried about your friends, after all.

But as your research and leads got deeper and deeper... You began to realize you were too deep in this web. You kept finding research and articles about strange phenomenon. Things like dark fog and cryptid sightings.

The entire time the feeling only ever got worse.

Days turned to weeks as you looked over the information you had. The police never bothered to help and you kept finding rabbit holes. No matter how much calming teas or meds you take, you can't shake your anxiety.

Are you being followed...?

Are you insane?

In the middle of the night you hear noises. Things like skittering or... voices. You swear you see silhouettes pass your window or banging across your walls.

You haven't gotten enough sleep... Maybe you're just hallucinating?

Your fears kept getting worse as you continued on. You kept thinking you heard the voices of your friends outside. Yet there was nothing ever there.

Your mind felt coated in a mental fog. You just couldn't think straight. Why did it feel like you were seeing things?

One night marked the conclusion of your fears....

Late at night you kept scrolling through research. At this point you were too far gone into this rabbit hole. There had to be something that took them... right?

"H-Hell..o?"

You freeze when you hear something speak. You look around, yet once again nothing's there. The voice sounds corrupted... inhuman... you can't read it.

"H-Help...!"

The voice croaks again, sounding oddly familiar. You shoot up from your seat and look around. However... You begin to breathe heavily when there's nothing...

Except for a sudden bang.

Your gaze shoots to your window, seeing something skitter off. The brief glance you got wasn't enough to tell you what it is. Yet you can tell it's playing with you...

It's taunting you....

You quickly run through your house in search of a weapon. Something... Wasn't right. With the amount of research you've done, you have your suspicions on what's wrong.

But you're still unable to comprehend it...

Let alone what it wants.

"S-Scar...ed?"

The voice croaks from outside, thumping hitting your walls. It's trying to find a way in. Your heart won't stop racing.

You grit your teeth, grabbing a knife from the kitchen to defend yourself. It's all you've got right now.... However, if this is what you think it is...

It doesn't really matter....

"Cu...te...!"

You grimace at the voice, the gender swapping between a distorted male and female. You can't decipher it. It's all a threat you can't fight....

With a loud crash, an axe smashes through your window. You jump back to keep your distance. Although... You freeze when something crawls through the broken glass.

It looks... Twisted. The cracking of bones fills the room, leaving you unnerved. The...Creature twitches and cracks around until it goes from all fours to on its twisted legs.

You feel bile bubble within you at the sight. You don't even dare look at its face. It's a twisted mimic of some sort of man.

That thing isn't human, however...

Nowhere close to it.

"I-I have... something... for you...!"

You brandish the knife as if it would do anything against it. Even if you had a gun, you doubt it would kill it. Black smoke pours into the room as the creature snaps and twitches closer to you.

"S-Stay... still...!"

The creature echoes before swinging the fire axe. You dodge it but the weapon manages to snag your knife. You curse to yourself as you dodge.

Not like it would've helped you anyways.

The creature turns around to look at you, a twisted grin never leaving its face. Your fear excited it. Such wonderful prey.

However, as you both plot your next move, the fog continues to fill the room until there was nothing but darkness.

You panic, having only vague ideas of what this meant for you. However... When you awoke, your adrenaline began to settle. You were left in a forest...

With nothing but a campfire in front of you...

Along with your two missing friends.

The two are filled with surprise when they see your shaking form on the ground. You stare back at them in confusion. Then...

You begin to cry.

Mikaela and Sable quickly run over to you and embrace you. You sob into them, calming down from your near death experience. Such a thing Mikaela and Sable have grown used to by this point.

They comfort you, rambling about how they didn't expect to see you again. They express concern and worry. After all... No one tries to get here on purpose.

You were happy to find them, even if it isn't safe here. All that mattered to you was the fact you were away from the creature. You never had to see it again...

Even if you had other issues to deal with...

But you could face those with your newly found friends by your side, right?

---

By this point you've gotten used to these new trials. These loops of death and illusions of escape was supposedly what Mikaela and Sable had been going through the entire time you've been looking from them. You were sent from one hell to another....

Yet you were quickly beginning to adapt.

Perhaps you were always meant to come here. If you stopped looking for your friends, would it still happen? You aren't sure... But does it matter anymore?

All you know is death now.

However, with Mikaela and Sable you could get used to the cycles. With them... You felt you could get through this. At least here... you could comprehend most horrors.

Every trial seemed to blend together eventually...

Then you saw it again.

You could never forget the twisted body and unnerving aura. You nearly freeze again in the middle of a generator when you see it shambling around that decrepit movie theater. You fidget with the wires as best you can but you're soon thrown off.

Upon roiling across the dingy movie carpet, you look up to see the very same creature you thought you escaped. It crawls on all fours towards you with that same cracking sound. Your memories flash before you...

Aren't you used to death at this point?

"Fo~und... y~ou~!"

The creature coos in a distorted voice... Shuffling closer in a rapid pace.

Your scream to echoes through the trial as it advances, your mind flashing a reminder that whatever happens... There's no escaping it now.

[seriousbrat]

I'm extremely unfair to Remus on this blog, the truth is fanon remus is personally offensive to me on many levels so I'm loath to give him protagonism of any kind lol. But that's not fair at all to a character that actually, when all's said and done, I do love. perhaps the marauder I'm least interested in (lol) but he still rates high on my list of fave hp characters and I honestly find him a very pleasant perspective to write from. he's just like some guy. his big crime is negligence/avoidance and I love that for him. to be honest I think his position is a difficult one to fully understand, he is a character that I'm able to muster up a lot of empathy for because of that. like can any of us irl understand what it's like to turn into a literal monster every month since childhood, the point-blank rejection and hatred from society, and what effect that might have on someone's psyche? it's interesting!!!

moony's worst hits, lets go:

remus tolerating the marauders' bullying: obv this was wrong. he was the only one who recognised it was wrong, and he tolerated it. he 'made them feel ashamed of themselves' sometimes per sirius, but honestly I can understand why he never spoke up. I don't think we should underestimate how rare the marauders' tolerance, not only tolerance but the lengths they went to to help remus with his condition was. for a teenager? I can only imagine how that must have felt tbh. he likely thought that he barely deserved their friendship and loyalty and that he was lucky to have it so why would he do anything to ruin that

remus not telling anyone about sirius being an animagus: bad lol, his worst moment probably. again, though, I can understand it even though I don't justify it. the trust dumbledore had placed in him, first to accept him at hogwarts and then again as a professor (we know how difficult it is for werewolves to find employment of any kind) and he just couldn't face betraying that trust. Luckily for Remus it turned out ok but it is kind of insane that he didn't tell dumbledore tbh.

remus not writing to harry: idc about this personally lol but to me it ties into remus's inferiority complex. he doesnt, and will never, see himself as anything like a father figure to harry the way sirius does. he barely sees himself as a worthy father to his own kid let alone the complex case that is harry. is that unfair to harry and unempathetic? yeah probs but also it makes sense to me even beyond the reason Remus gives in canon for not writing. He put Harry in terrible danger in PoA and given Remus's self-hatred he probably feels guilty about that lol.

walking out on Tonks: his other worst hit. But I can understand him, even though I think Harry was 100% right to tell him off. Again we've got this man's crippling inferiority complex, from what he says he thinks he's a burden and a curse to both Tonks and Teddy-- and you know what, society isn't exactly contradicting this belief. Obviously Tonks doesn't agree and that should be all that matters, but sometimes it doesn't seem that way. There's avoidance here (Remus's big flaw) and I legit think he thought he was doing Tonks a favour by disappearing on some quest with Harry and likely dying in the process. Interesting stuff but also very sad.

all this to say, I don't believe in "defending" characters, just understanding them, and even though I barely post about him I do find Remus very interesting, worthy of empathy in many ways. I'll admit the werewolf thing leads me to give him more of a pass than other characters just because I find that so horrible lol and feel so sorry for him but anyway. a good character in my opinion.

[e-dubbc11]

Kill or Be Killed

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Violence, swear words, mentions of abuse, death, sexual reference but PG-13, little fluff

Word Count: 2K-ish

Summary: Billy helps you get rid of a problem

A/N: This a little over the top, I’ll admit it. But whatever, I do what I want 🤣

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Bright red blood slowly trickled down the blade and dripped onto the floor as you stood over him and watched life leave his body. There was a feeling of satisfaction when the light faded from his sad, pitiful eyes but you found it difficult to control your breathing. The shallow movements of your chest expanded and retracted rapidly with every sharp inhale and exhale.

It had been easier than you thought it was going to be. The blade had basically done the hard work for you as it penetrated his skin like it was warm butter. Billy showed you where to stab Cole if he ever came after you again and, if you were able to, twist it so the wound wouldn’t close.

“His lungs will fill up with blood, cutting off the oxygen he needs to breathe.” He had said, all with a sly smile across his lips. “He’ll be gasping for air like a dying fucking fish.”

Billy loved showing you how to defend yourself and the desire you had to learn his ways, turned him on. It made him hard watching you practice self-defense moves or with his Ka-Bar. Billy’s skills were unmatched in hand-to-hand combat, you were learning from the best and no one would ever put their hands on you again. And if they did, they’d pay dearly for it.

The look in Cole’s eyes silently said he regretted stalking you, threatening you and, underestimating you. The words he had hissed into your ear the last time he saw you played over and over again in your head…”You don’t have the guts to kill me! You’re too weak!” And as he lay there wide eyed and dying on your bedroom floor, he knew he had made a big mistake and that you weren’t afraid of him anymore.

The meek and mild girl was gone and replaced with someone he didn’t recognize.

The heart beating inside his chest had been waiting to be silenced. You knew it wasn’t possible but you swore those quick heartbeats of his was the noise you heard thumping loudly in your ears, egging you on and taunting you into smothering the sound of it echoing inside the room.

“Are you weak like he said, sweet girl? Hmmm?” Billy had asked you sharply, his onyx colored eyes narrowed but didn't break eye contact.

In his slight New York accent, his voice was soft and harsh at the same time. You should have been frightened but Billy would never hurt you…he loved you.

Vigorously shaking your head, you replied, “No…I’m not weak, Billy. I’m not!”

“Then show me, baby.” He said, handing you the knife as his lips curled back away from his gnashed teeth.

Billy had you practice day after day, cutting up the dummies and slicing them where it would do the most damage, the places where a real person would bleed out in minutes.

“Ya know what a sharp blade feels like slicing your flesh, y/n? It feels as if the metal has been heated by a torch, almost like the skin is burning even though it’s not. That’s what he’s gonna feel. It’s easy to shoot someone but to actually puncture their flesh, to feel the knife go in, and then to smell the blood on the blade when you pull it out, it’s a high I can’t put into words, exactly.” He had said in a sinister tone.

Billy’s words sent restless shivers down your spine, his handsome features contorted with rage, and you knew you couldn’t live your life the way you had been anymore…on edge. The marks and bruises weren’t physically there but you still saw them sometimes when you looked at your reflection in the mirror. “Teach me,” you had said to Billy.

You didn’t want to be scared of a crazy ex-boyfriend that could be waiting around every corner for you or at the end of a dark alleyway.

Cole had made a promise to you. With his hands firmly around your throat, he promised you would die before anyone else could have you and you would have to kill him if you wanted to stop him. Those were his last words before you plunged the Ka-Bar right into his chest, puncturing his lung just like Billy said it would.

The strong copper scent of Cole’s blood on your knife flooded your sense of smell after you removed it from his chest and your taste buds were picking up the metallic taste of the blood particles in the air.

You weren’t left with any other choice. A restraining order was just a piece of paper; it didn’t stop him from breaking into your home or when he tried to strangle you while you slept. The only thing that would stop him was a hole through his chest.

“Still think I’m weak, asshole?” You had asked Cole curtly through gritted teeth as he clutched his chest, choking on his own blood and unable to breathe.

Billy was used to the kill. He was a scout sniper in the marines and it wasn’t very often but, even now, he still had to take a life when it was necessary, but this was your first time taking someone’s life.

You didn’t want to but Cole wasn’t going to stop, there wasn’t another way out of this except with someone’s death and it wasn’t going to be yours.

You had to beg Billy to let you do this yourself and deep down he knew you could get the job done but it didn’t mean he liked it.

“That’s why you have me! I’m here to protect you!" Shouted Billy.

You brushed his beard gently with your thumbs. “I know you are baby, but I CAN do this and it’s because you showed me how.”

And you made Cole pay. For every horrible thing he had ever done to you, you made him pay with his life. The loud rolls of thunder muffled his raw screams of pain as you pulled the knife from his chest and he fell onto the floor.

You posed the question, “You still think I don’t have the guts to kill you, Cole?” And right on cue, you heard a deafening boom of thunder overhead and saw a bright flash of lightning. It was like a scene right out of a movie where the heroine saves herself from being tormented by the big bad villain.

As you watched Cole’s life fade away into nothing, you tried to stop the devilish smile from stretching across your lips so you just let it happen.

He wouldn’t be able to hurt you ever again, he was gone, lying dead at your feet and you had done that. Your sinister laugh quickly shifted into fresh sobs while you still gripped the blade tightly in your hand.

The rain began to hammer against the window after a loud clap of thunder split the air. Cole’s blood pooled underneath him, spread along the wood floor and stained the white t-shirt he was wearing. You loomed above him with tears streaming down your cheeks, trying to stop your hands from shaking.

With your free hand, you balled it into a fist, clenching it until your nails were digging hard into your skin, leaving marks on your palm while you took a deep breath and forcefully exhaled.

But your heart began to race once again when you heard him call out your name. It was coming from the front door.

“Y/N! Tell me where you are baby, NOW!” Shouted Billy.

The tension in your back and shoulders eased when you heard his voice. And you knew he would stay close by no matter how many times you said you could do this on your own.

“I’m in the bedroom, Billy!” You choked out.

You saw the barrel of a gun pointing into your bedroom, his long agile fingers wrapped tightly around it followed by the rest of his body and very relieved to see his handsome face.

Billy looked at you, down at the floor where Cole was, and then at the knife in your hand. With relief in his eyes, he quickly holstered his gun and hurried over to you.

Your shirt was covered in blood, Cole’s blood but Billy didn’t care, he pulled you flush with his chest anyway to try and soothe you.

“It’s alright, sweet girl. I’m here, ssshhh. He’s gone.” He whispered into your ear.

“I killed him, Billy!” You sobbed into his shirt.

Billy grabbed the sides of your face and tilted it up to look at him.

“You listen to me! He didn’t give you a choice! He wouldn’t have stopped until he took you away from me! The police didn’t give you a choice! What did they give you? Huh? A piece of fucking paper!!” He yelled.

His intense brown eyes appeared darker than you had ever seen them, full of concern and relief at the same time. Those eyes were filled with…love and love only for you. Billy then carefully looked at the marks Cole left on your neck, making sure he wasn’t hurting you.

In barely more than a whisper, you looked down at Cole and said, “I know I shouldn’t say this but I’m glad he’s dead.”

Your own words caused goosebumps to erupt across your skin. You never thought you would say that about anyone because you were brought up to believe that there has to be good in everyone, right?

But you found out the hard way that that wasn’t true. There are people out there who are just pure evil. Billy knew that from the way he grew up and everything he had gone through in his life. He was hardened by life, that’s why it was easier for him to kill.

“I watched him die, Billy. There was a brief moment where I understood what you meant about the high you get from the scent of someone else’s blood that you’ve killed. I couldn’t help but smile, almost like I enjoyed it…but then I broke down.” You said softly.

Billy’s fingers danced up and down your spine as he said, “You’re not like me, sweet girl. You’re the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. You’re not broken and soulless, that’s why it’s easier for me. I feel nothing when I kill.”

“That’s not all that you are, Billy. I wouldn’t be with someone I didn’t think had a soul. I know they were all bad people.” You said with a slight smile against his chest.

“And so was Cole, my love.” Said Billy, kissing the top of your head like he always did.

The late night sky was vengeful tonight just as you had been. The rage burned like white hot fire inside as you felt yourself use whatever strength you had left to fight Cole off and stay alive.

Billy held you in silence with nothing but the pinging of the rain against the windows and you squeezed him back, thanking him for being there, for teaching you, and for loving you.

“I love you, Billy. And you are a good man. You’ve always been good to me.” You whispered against his chest.

You could feel him smile against the top of your head as he replied, “I always will be, baby. I love you too.” Billy paused for a minute before he said, “You know what you have to do now.”

Feeling his cool, damp shirt against your cheek, you nodded, pulled away and picked your phone up off of the bed.

A voice on the other end of the phone answered, “9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

You opened your mouth but no words or even sounds came out. The inside of your mouth was dry as a cold spike of fear washed over you and tension tightly gripped your body. With a nod, Billy’s lips curled into a reassuring smile as if to say “Everything’s gonna be alright, sweet girl.”

The voice on the other end of the phone spoke again, “Hello? Are you there?”

As you closed your eyes, you inhaled deeply and let out a long exhale before answering them.

“Yes, I’m still here. I need help. I just…killed an intruder.”

You will be safe from now on.

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