#even more with the way they keep pushing the buck eddie and chris are a family thing this season

[lover-of-mine]

"one of them leaving the other behind to get to chris"......... why would you put that thought in my head 😭😭😭

No, babe, cuz here's the thing, I've been thinking about Buck and Eddie trapped in a no win situation since the speculation about a disaster in the finale started and then i obviously fell down an ao3 hole and there only one thing that would make them leave the other behind and that's Christopher. But i was thinking something along the lines of "one of them is in mortal danger and trying to save them is gonna get them both killed and one of them has to go home for Chris" and I kept imagining Eddie having to leave Buck because the behind the scenes pics from Oliver and my fantasies of getting Eddie screaming "you're not doing this to me again" but the more i think about it the more i think the only thing that would make Eddie leave Buck behind is Christopher being in imminent danger. And i also keep coming back to Taylor and that damn emergency beacon. Why? Well, Eddie already lived through 2 natural disasters with no way of knowing if Chris is okay so what's to say that Eddie didn't give Chris an emergency beacon? So in my crazy theory dream right now we have Buck and Eddie trapped. Eddie is in better shape than Buck. Eddie can get out if he needs to but he can't get Buck out and he's refusing to leave him behind. They are fighting, Buck is telling Eddie to just get out because Christopher needs him. Eddie is saying Chris needs both of them. Their phones ring (because obviously Christopher's emergency beacon alerts both of them) and Eddie needs to leave Buck behind because he needs to get to Chris. Angst ensues.

[diazsdimples]

After the lightning, Buck downloads just about every weather app he can find. He doesn’t tell anyone - because he knows they’d immediately become concerned - he’s terrified of thunderstorms. If it’s forecast to be rainy, he’ll check, double check, and triple check that it’s only rain, and not a storm too. What he doesn’t know, is Eddie’s done the same thing.

The first storm happens a couple of months after Buck goes back to work, and he's ready for it. It's one of their nights off, so he gathers all the blankets in the loft, makes himself a little nest with his laptop, a hot water bottle, and some noise canceling headphones and he hunkers down for the night. He's just squeezed his eyes shut after the first flash of lightning when his phone rings. It's Eddie. Initially he doesn't want to answer, because he doesn't want to have anyone asking him how he is right now, but he also knows Eddie will just keep on ringing until he picks up. So he does.

Not once during that call does Eddie ask how Buck is. He immediately lauches into a long tale about Christopher's new crush, which turns into a story about the main characters on the telenovela he watches and "how the fuck have they not figure out they're in love yet", and finally they end up debating the pros and cons of having a smart fridge that shows you what's inside without having to open the door. Buck hangs up feeling a little confused, wondering what the occasion was for such a call, but the storm has passed and he didn't have a panic attack.

The next storm is in the dead of winter and Buck has been watching it brew for days, his anxiety mounting as it builds. He's planning on doing the same as last time, but then Eddie invites him over for dinner. It's not their usual night, and Chris is away with his grandparents in Texas, so Buck is a little confused but he says yes nonetheless. He's looking forward to some time with Eddie - the two of them have been toeing the line between friends and something more ever since the lightning, with long lingering touches and late night phone calls. When he gets there, Eddie has ordered them pizza, there's a case of beers on the coffee table, blankets on the couch, and a new sound system that looks like it could blow the windows out of the Sistine Chapel if given half a chance.

They have a really nice evening and Buck manages to ignore the way the clouds are churning outside, how the wind picks up and rain begins to splatter against the windowpanes. He's comfortable on the couch, with Eddie a warm line against his side from how closely they're pushed together. When the room lights up from the first strike of lightning, Buck jumps. He looks around wildly, just barely fighting the urge to clap his hands over his ears as the thunder booms. Eddie looks up from their movie, and turns up the sound on the TV until the thunder is inaudible. He places a hand on either one of Buck's shoulders and gently guides him down until he's settled against Eddie's chest. Eddie's arms wrap around Buck, holding him from behind and Buck can feel the fear slowly receeding.

"It's okay," Eddie whispers in his ear. "I've got you. You're safe."

The storm rages outside, but Buck doesn't panic. He's safe, in Eddie's arms, and though he might jump and his breathing might speed up every time there's a flash, Eddie strokes his arms and pets his hair and finally, almost nervously presses a kiss to Buck's forehead.

"Is- is this okay?" he asks Buck, so quietly that if it weren't for the fact that his lips were brushing Buck's ear, Buck wouldn't have heard it.

"Yeah," Buck replies, burrowing closer into Eddie's chest as his heart blooms with love, the warmth spreading down to his toes. "I'm safe."

[metalmonki]

50 Ways To Say Goodbye

911 x fem!reader

5k word count

Summary The 911 helps you escape your abusive ex but in true 118 dumb, dumb stile they create a bigger problem that Athena has to fix.

fluff, idiots

Warnings mention and description of death, domestic abuse and self-harm.

Note: I've been working on the next part of The Dating Oddessey while listening to some music. 50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train came on and gave me this idea. Didn't quite turn out how I wanted but its still pretty funny. Also you could take this to mean either Eddie or Buck has feelings for you. Not how I intended it but it's how it came out.

...

Today you had finally done it. You had finally worked up the courage to break up with your horrible excuse for a human ex Bradley. You made sure to break up with him while he was working so you had witnesses. The last thing you needed was him gaslighting you back into the relationship like last time. With witnesses, it was harder for him to say the breakup never happened. 

Today had been planned out for weeks. Your best friends, Eddie and Buck, had been helping you slowly remove your stuff from his house for the last month and taking it to your Dad's place. You did have much, after all, Bradley didn’t allow you to have much. He had to control everything from the furniture to the decorations and even the food kept in the house.

Outside Bradley's workplace Buck and Eddie were waiting for you in Eddie's truck. Your Dad, Bobby, was their boss and had given them the day off to play bodyguard for you. When you walked out the front door with Bradley storming after you both boys were fast to jump out of the truck and jog towards you. Eddie wasn’t going to let him hurt you anymore and Buck didn’t want what happened to his sister Maddie to happen to you for that reason Eddie had hidden a lot of what Bradley had done to you from all your friends and even your Dad. Eddies had been the house you would hide in for days at a time while waiting for bruises to heal. Eddie had been the person to give you that final push you needed to leave. 

“What if next time he kills you y/n? Did you think of that?” Eddie slammed his fist onto his kitchen counter as you held a bag of frozen peas to your soon-to-be black eye. “Do you have any idea what that would do to me? To Chris? Hell, think about your father and Athena. The rest of our friends. We all love you y/n and yet you keep allowing yourself to be treated like shit. You know what if you're going to go back to him this time then I don’t want you in my house, take your things and leave” Eddie had left the kitchen, leaving you standing there shocked to your core. It scared you. More than the beatings. You didn’t want to lose Eddie as your friend, you didn’t want to hurt him or Chris, your family, your friends. Eddie was right enough was enough. 

After that night you had come clean with everyone about what was happening. Athena was quick to offer up their spare room for you and Bobby wouldn’t take no for an answer. Eddie and Maddie had to keep Buck distracted at all times until your items were moved out of Bradley's house because he threatened to kill the guy if he laid eyes on him. So when Buck and Eddie saw him coming up fast behind you screaming at you Eddie made sure to direct Buck to get you out of the way. Buck was quick to slide an arm around your waist and guide you quickly to Eddie's truck. Eddie blocked Bradley from coming any closer to you. You couldn’t hear what was said between the two of them but whatever Eddie said had Bradley ducking back into his building quickly. Eddie waited until the building doors closed behind Bradley before walking back to the truck. He didn’t speak once he started the truck nor did he speak for the entire trip to your Dads. His white knuckles gripped the steering wheel the whole drive there. Their conversation was something that had pissed him off. Once at your Dad's, you excused yourself to go lay down. The day had left you physically and mentally exhausted. 

“It’s okay baby you go rest, your Dad wants to cook you something special for dinner so I’ll come get you when his home and cooking, okay” Athena gave you a loving smile. 

You made your way to the spare room and quickly made yourself comfortable on the bed. As you lay there you could hear Athena talking with Buck and Eddie. 

“She’ll be safe here, trust me if that guy comes anywhere near this house he can consider himself arrested” Athena said

“How long does it take for someone like him to just leave a person alone?” Buck asked 

“Some give up after a few days, some a few weeks, months, years, some never quit” Athena sighed “But this guy I’d say as soon as he has a new target he’ll leave her alone” 

“Athena…” Eddie was cut off by someone banging on the front door. Before anyone could move to open the door what could only be described as a stampede echoed through the house. Heavy boots took staircase steps 2 at a time until the fanfare came to an end in the kitchen where Athena, Eddie and Buck still stood in shock at the interruption.  Stood before them in full uniform fresh from a call were Bobby, Chimney, Hen and Ravi. 

“What in the world are you lot doing in my kitchen?” Athena asked frustration lacing her voice

“Did you get y/n?” Chimney ignored Athena looking straight at Eddie and Buck

“y/n is trying to rest which she won’t be able to do with you lot acting like a bunch of zoo animals” Athena crossed her arms over her chest looking at them all like a disappointed mother. 

“So what's the plan from here how do we keep her ex from intimidating her back into a relationship with him” Hen asked keeping her voice just above a whisper partly to keep from disturbing y/n but mostly to appease Athena. 

“Well, to start Maddie and I are going to take her out for the day tomorrow, take her mind off all this” Athena motioned around the room. 

“Then starting the day after I’ve adjusted our rosters so someone can be here with her around the clock in case he shows up here” Bobby spoke up

“Unfortunately, someone here invited him over for dinner so he knows exactly where we live” Athena threw an accusatory look at Bobby. 

“Maybe she should come to stay with me he has no idea where I live” Eddie offered up. 

“No she’s safer here with Athena” Bobby said “Any sign of trouble and Athena can have the entire LAPD on our doorstep” Bobby smiled at Athena. 

“A Mumma has to protect her babies” Athena smiled back at Bobby. “And besides, he knows all of us and he will likely stalk all of us to get to her”

“So what are we supposed to do just wait for him to lose interest” Buck spoke up frustrated with the situation “I mean you said it yourself Athena it could take years” 

“Or days or weeks or months, the only guaranteed way to get rid of him quick is if y/n died, it’s the only way I’ve seen his type leave their victim alone for good” Athena said. The 118 shared a look, a look of mischief, of a united thought on how to get rid of this threat to their family. Athena knew immediately what they were thinking and quickly began shaking her head and looking between them. 

“Don’t you even think about it” Athena pointed a stern finger at each person standing in her kitchen. “You’ll be causing more problems than what you’ll solve”

…

Despite Athena's warning the 118 decided as a family that if ‘the asshole’ as they affectionately dubbed him showed his face to any of them they would warn him to back off and if he wouldn’t listen they would tell him y/n was dead. It seemed like the perfect plan until it wasn’t. 

The first person to meet him face to face was Chimney. It was 4 days after Eddie and Buck had taken you to live with Bobby and Athena. It was Eddie's day off. He had taken you out for lunch, then you picked Christopher up from school before heading back to Eddies to hang out. Eddie asked if you wanted to stay for dinner and a movie. Christopher who overheard the offer from where he sat in the dining room doing his homework practically begged you to stay. You called Athena to let her know you were going to be out late with Eddie and that he was going to drive you back when the movie ended. Christopher was old enough after all to stay home alone for the 20 minutes it would take Eddie to drop you home. 

Because of this, it was Chimney who got stuck working late at the firehouse. He was the last to leave after finishing off all the small boring end-of-shift jobs like making sure all the dinner dishes were done and the ambulance restocked for the next shift. Bradley had been parked across the road from the station all day watching the team come and go. Your little stunt at his office had cost him his job. He was going to make you pay and he had all the time in the world to make it happen. He waited and counted off your friends as they left. He wanted to make sure that he followed the last person to leave because he knew if he risked following anyone else the rest of your friends would know and his plan would be ruined. He noticed after the first three calls of the shift that one of the guys he had seen you out the front of his office with wasn’t on shift today. He decided it was likely that guy's fault you left him. You’d probably been seeing him behind his back all along. He’d make him pay too. He counted them out one by one as they left the firehouse, first, it was the other guy he’d seen at his office and some Middle Eastern-looking dude. Then that black woman he’d seen you hang out with left. Next was your father. He almost forgot to wait to see him. He wanted to chase him down and run him over with his car but he held it together. He knew there was one more person left. The little Asian guy. When he hadn’t come out after 30 minutes he almost thought he went home earlier and he’d missed him. That was until Chimney walked out of the 118 firehouse almost 45 minutes after his shift had finished. He was talking away on his phone not paying attention to his surroundings creating the perfect situation for a stalker. 

He followed Chimney from the firehouse to one of those 24-hour corner stores. He followed him in close behind, waiting until Chimney was alone in the back of the store. As luck would also have it there were no security cameras in sight. While Chimney was distracted looking at the small selection of diapers the store carried, he took his chance. Before Chimney could respond, he had grabbed him by the shoulder and had him pinned against the diaper shelves he was just looking at. 

“Where is she?” He asked aggressively.

“Who?” Chimney asked shocked but trying to remain calm. He knew exactly who he wanted. 

“Y/n” He held back from yelling in Chimney's face. 

“Y/n? You…you mean you haven’t heard?” Chimney tried his best at putting on a distraught face even willing a few tears to fall. 

“Heard what?” He loosed his grip on Chimney. 

“I’m sorry man, she… she's dead” Chimney said softly trying to lace his voice with sadness. 

“What no! What happened?” He aggressively slammed Chimney back against the shelves. 

“The night Eddie and Buck picked her up from your place she slit her wrists in Bobby and Athena's bathroom” Chimney made himself sob. 

Bradley shook his head in disbelief and ran from the shop. Once out of sight, Chimney let a massive grin break out on his face and he let out a proud chuckle. He grabbed diapers and practically skipped to the counter with them. He was so proud of himself and his lie. He knew if Bradley went looking to see if it was true he would see there had been a call out to Bobby and Athenas that night. It hadn’t been for you thought. Buck being the massive cluts that he is had managed to get his foot stuck in the bin beside the toilet while changing out a light bulb in the sconce above the sink which had stopped working while he was using the toilet. While trying to get the bin off his foot he slipped on the bath mat and fell smacking the back of his head with a loud yet hollow-sounding thunk on the sink, Luckly for Buck he has a thick skull and came out of it with a sore bum, ankle and head and a bruised ego. They still had him taken to the hospital because even though the injuries weren’t that bad he still needed to be cleared of any major head injury before returning to work. 

…

2 days later by chance, he ran into Hen. It was her day off and she was about to come pick you up to go out to the movies but first, she had to run some errands. Bobby wanted to have a barbecue at his place to celebrate family and new beginnings. She was grabbing a few things to take with her when he spotted her. She was about to walk into the supermarket when he walked out. Seeing Hen he decided to take the chance to confirm what Chimney had told him. He grabbed Hen who was distracted by the shopping list on her phone and pulled her to the side of the door. 

“What do you think you're doing? Get your hands off me!” Hen snapped. 

“I’m sorry I just want to talk” He sighed. 

“What do you want?” Hen asked crossing her arms over her chest,

“Is it true?” He asked. 

“Is what true?” Hen asked. 

“Is she dead?” 

“I’m afraid so” Hen dropped her head.

“No, no it can’t be” He looked at the ground. 

“If it means anything she didn’t suffer” Hen put a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up at her confused Hen was quick to drop her hand back by her side. “There was nothing anybody could do for her. I can assure you she died the second the car made contact with the semi, she wasn’t even aware of the fire” 

“A car accident?” He stumbled backwards. He ran away from Hen and made his way into the parking lot. The groceries he had brought were abandoned on the ground. Hen passed a confused look to the parking lot, shrugged and continued with her day. She knew if he went looking he would find a two-vehicle collision between a truck and a car. Y/n was nowhere near the accident but the 118 had responded to the accident so if he looked it up he wouldn’t be able to accuse them of lying. 

…

The very next day Ravi saw Bradley hanging out across the street watching the fire house. Ravi would have run off and grabbed Bobby but he was at home spending time with you. Ravi took a quick look around but couldn’t spot any other members of the 118 to alert. Ravi decided that he was going to have to do something about it himself. He jogged across the road and stood beside Bradley's car. He positioned himself in such a way that if anything should happen anyone watching on in the firehouse would be able to see both Ravi and Bradley in the car. Ravi through a look back at the firehouse and then turned his attention back to Bradley. 

“Any reason you're watching the firehouse?” Ravi asked faking a smile trying to pretend that he didn’t know who the man in the car was. “Are you interested in working for the LAFD? I could get you some information if you want to come inside” Ravi motioned towards the firehouse with an outstretched hand. 

“Oh no, I was just hoping someone could help me get some information on a friend” Bradley put a fake smile on his face. 

“No problem sir if you want to come inside I can set you up in the captain's office and we can all have a couple of officers down to help you” Ravi never once let the smile on his face falter. 

“I don’t want to be a bother” If he stepped foot in the firehouse he knew he would be recognised by the other members of the 118. “My friends' name is Y/n Nash I believe you know her, she’s the fire captain's daughter” 

“Oh y/n, yeah I knew her, um the captain is actually off today, I guess you’re here for the funeral?” Ravi let his smile drop. He tucked his hands into his pockets, rocked back on his heels and looked at the ground. “I could get you the funeral details if you want” 

“No, no it’s fine, when did she die? How did she die? I mean last time I saw her she was healthy, she seemed happy” Bradley knew he was baiting Ravi. He’d already been told two different things. Either your whole team was messing with him or you were messing with them. Either way, he was going to figure it out and track you down. And when he found you he was going to make you pay. 

“Uh she…she was involved in a hit and run, Cap had to decide to turn off her life support. The doctors said she had almost no chance of recovery any way” Ravi looked up to the sky knowing if he looked Bradley in the eyes he might break and smile. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, I was just in town and thought I would stop in for a minute but I wouldn’t want to be a burden, pass my condolences on to Bobby” Bradley gave Ravi a small smile and pulled away from the firehouse. When he was out of sight Ravi fist-bumped the air and jogged back into the firehouse. As far as Ravi was concerned that was the last time he thought any of you would hear from him. Bradley on the other hand had only gathered more evidence that the 118 was potentially lying to him. 

…

Early the next morning Bradley stalked Eddie to his usual running path. He waited until Eddie was on a particularly quiet portion of the track, hidden from the eyes of the public by bushes and trees. He blocked Eddie's path not allowing him to step around him. Eddie the second he laid eyes on Bradley wanted to punch his lights out but he held his composure. Eddie placed some distance between himself and Bradley before speaking up. 

“What the hell do you want?” Eddie said voice laced with anger. 

“I just want to know what happened to y/n” Bradley put his hands up in surrender. 

“You have no right to ask about her” Eddie snapped “She was so happy until you came along, you broke her down, you isolated her from us, you’re the reason…” Eddie choked on his words. A mixture of real and fake emotions was flowing through Eddie. He was so upset and caught off guard that he almost went off the script. “You’re the reason shes dead” 

“Now Edmundo I don’t believe that for a second” Bradley smirked at Eddie

“Look in my eyes and tell me I’m lying” Eddie growled, “I carried her lifeless body out of her parent's house after she blew her brains out with her mother's gun, I begged and pleaded with god and anyone who would listen to bring her back to me, to us.”

“No, no… you're lying!” Bradley yelled backing away from Eddie. 

“She killed herself because we wouldn’t let her go back to you, maybe we should have, maybe if we did she’d still be here” Eddie's gaze dropped to the ground. The next thing Eddie heard was the sound of someone running away from him. He looked up to see himself once again alone. A smile broke out on his face as he continued with his run. He couldn’t wait to finish up his run, get home, shower and get to work. The only thing that was going to top this was having dinner with you, Buck and Chris tonight. Bradley on the other hand was not so sure what was going on. He found himself confused. Everything Eddie said seemed so genuine. Maybe Bobby and Eddie had told the rest of the team different things to keep them from knowing what happened. He hadn’t seen you around since that day in the office not even with Eddie and Buck even though he knew you’d always run off to them in the past. Still, he had two more people to ask and he wasn’t going to stop until he got the truth. 

…

That afternoon he followed Bobby into a butcher as he looked for the perfect cuts of steak and his favourite burger patties for the weekend during some downtime between calls. He wanted this BBQ to be reminiscent of the BBQs that you had when you were a kid even though, Mum, Robbie and Brook weren’t here anymore and you’d felt like he had tried to replace them with Athena, May and Harry. You’d grown to love them like Bobby did and accepted them as your family. Bobbys plans came to a halt when Bradley grabbed him by the arm and spun him to look at him. Bobby went from shocked to furious in seconds. Bradley could tell immediately that Bobby was not impressed to see him. 

“I’m not trying to start anything” Bradley puts his hands up in defence “I just need to know…”

“Need to know what?” Bobby snaps crossing his arms across his chest making himself larger and more intimidating. 

“Is she dead?” He asked. 

“My daughter? My child who you destroyed so completely that she couldn’t see her self-worth. Yes, she’s dead and it's all your fault” Bobby was now shaking with anger, his arms hung limp at his side and his gaze had met the floor. “I had to scrape her brains off every surface of my guest room, all my children are now gone, I couldn’t save any of them, what kind of father can’t protect his children?” Bobby looked up to where Bradley had been standing to find that he at some point had run off. Bobby looked around the empty store and shrugged. Had he been a little overdramatic sure but he didn’t think he’d been that bad. With a smile plastered on his face, he went back to picking out the steaks for the weekend and hoped that would be the last time he would have to see Bradley. 

…

The next morning Buck found himself running late for his shift. Chris insisted on watching a movie with everyone the night before but fell asleep not 15 minutes into the film despite insisting to Eddie that he was not sleepy at all. Eddie carried Chris to bed and decided that since the movie had started you might as well watch it. It was one of your and Chris's favourites. Eddie was sick of watching the movie on repeat and Buck had somehow had the blessing of not being subject to FernGully until now. After the movie, Buck drove you home. This meant he didn’t get home until almost 11 pm and he had to be at the station at 7 am. Bradley had spotted Buck on his drive home and decided to camp out the front of Buck's apartment building for the night. When Buck stumbled out the front door in a rushed mess the next morning Bradley was there to greet him. 

“I’m not here to start a fight, I just need answers” He held his hands up in defence. 

“What the hell do you need answers for?” If looks could kill Bradley would be dead with how Buck looked at him.

“I just want to know if y/n is dead” Bradley moved further back from Buck out of fear of getting hit.

“Dead” Buck yelled and got so close to Bradley that their chests were almost touching “Why do think it’s any of your business to know what’s happening with y/n?” 

“I just heard rumours and wanted to know” Bradley flinched away from Buck. 

“You wanted to know? You wanted to know?” Buck looked away and scoffed “Yes she’s dead alright, she killed herself, you have no idea what it’s like to be called out to a scene where someone you love has killed themselves, to see their blood all over and know that nothing you can do will save them. To see them choking on their blood as it spills out of their open throat” 

Bradley had gone pale, so pale that Buck thought he was going to faint. For a split moment, Buck felt bad, made be he had been too harsh and taken things too far. Bradley quickly crossed back across the road to his car and took off before any more words could be exchanged. Buck shrugged and quickly made his way to work running even more late now. But that was normal for Buck so he knew no one would question him and he wouldn’t have to tell anyone about running into Bradley. 

…

Finally, Saturday rolled around 2 days later. You had been kept busy all morning by Athena who had you help put out her good wine glasses, set the table for lunch, and do other small tasks. Eddie, Christopher and Buck had shown up around 10 am because Chris was too impatient and excited to hang out with his favourite person. You were so distracted with Chris that before you knew it, the rest of the 118 had arrived. Bobby and Buck were manning the BBQ, Chris was off playing with Danny and Mara, Hen, Chimney, Ravi, Karen and Maddie were busy talking among themselves. Athena was busy drifting around the kitchen while Eddie stood outside next to you watching the kids play. 

“I’m glad you left him” Eddie broke the silence. 

“Me too” You smiled up at him “Thank you for knocking some sense into me”. 

“Okay everyone lunch is ready!” Bobby called bringing a tray of meat into the dining room. 

Everyone sat around the table. Athena had set the kids up at their table out in the yard which made them think they were the coolest kids ever. She even gave them their plastic wine glasses to drink juice from. You were in the middle of one of the greatest lunches you’d ever had when there was an overly aggressive knock on the door. Before Athena or Bobby could move to answer the door someone yelled through the front door.

“I know you're all in there, I want answers and I want them now!” Bradley screamed through the door. 

“What in the world?” Athena looked towards the landing where the front door was. 

“What’s he doing here?” Buck looked around the table. 

“I guess this means the plan didn’t work” Chimney looked between everyone. 

“What plan?” Athena looked at Chimney. 

“Uh, well, uh, Bobby do you want to explain it” Chimney looked to Bobby. 

“You brought it up” Bobby motioned back to Athena. 

“What plan?” Athena stood up, crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. 

The 118 shared panicked glances while you, Maddie and Karen looked around the table confused. 

“Robert Wade Nash you better start speaking or so help me god you’ll be sleeping at the firehouse tonight” Athena levelled her attention on Bobby. 

“We might have told him y/n was dead” Bobby said 

“Dead” Athena looked around the table “After I told you not to tell him that you went and did it anyway” 

“Well in all fairness Athena I was the one who told him she was dead” Buck admitted looking at his plate. 

“You? No, I told him” Chimney jumped in. 

“Wait but I told him she was dead like a week ago” Hen added. “Oh god what have we done” 

“One at a time, how did you all say she died” Athena asked the table. 

“Slit her wrists,” Chimney said

“Hit and Run,” Ravi said

“Car accident,” Hen said

 “Shot herself with your gun,” Bobby said

“Slit her throat,” Buck said

“Same as Bobby,” Eddie said

You, Maddie and Karen, were trying to hold it together despite all having a bad case of the giggles. Athena was done with the entire 118 at this point and it was clear from the look on Bobbys face he was already trying to decide who would let him crash on their lounge tonight. 

“If you weren’t going to listen couldn’t you all have at least agreed on how she died” Athena sighed. 

“I’ll go deal with” Bobby went to stand up. 

“No you’ve done enough damage” Athena left the table. 

Athena went to open the door while everyone else quietly got up from the table and came to peak around the corner. Bradley was still furiously banging on the door when Athena answered it. 

“What do you want?” Athena asked angrily.

“I need the truth, I’ve been told so many different things over the last week,” Bradley said “Tell me the truth and I’ll leave you alone” 

“Yes y/n is dead, yes she killed herself with my gun, no we haven’t told everyone, now if you don’t mind we’re currently having her wake” Athena crossed her arms. 

“I’m so sorry” Bradley quickly turned on his heels and ran off up the driveway out of sight. 

Athena took a deep breath and closed the door. 

“When I turn around you all best be at that table eating” 

[whump-imagines]

Meeting the Firefam

Eddie x reader

~1600 words

Warnings: epileptic reader. Hopefully accurately portrayed.

You parked in front of the station and turned off the ignition. Taking one final deep breath, you pushed the door open and stepped out. You didn't know why you were so nervous. Meeting Eddie’s coworkers shouldn't seem so frightening.

What if they hated you? What if they told him to break up with you? You knew they were more like family to him than just coworkers. Their opinions mattered a lot. You had only been dating him a little over a month but you had fallen hard. You really couldn't imagine your life without him and Chris and even Carla.

You needed them to like you.

Making your way inside, you quickly spotted Eddie as he approached. You greeted him with a kiss before he pulled you into a hug.

“Hey, you. How was traffic?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Normal. Slow.” Eddie knew it was your least favorite part about LA.

“I think lunch is almost ready. You ready to meet everyone?”

“No.” You wrapped your hands around his bicep as he started walking toward the trucks.

He leaned over and kissed your temple. “I told you they’re going to love you. You have nothing to worry about.” He pulled you along with him towards Buck and another firefighter beside the truck.

Buck smiled when he spotted you. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you finally decided to come have lunch with us.”

“Hi, Buck. Someone has been persistent.” You looked at Eddie just in time to catch his shrug.

“Y/N, this is Ravi.” Eddie introduced.

Ravi lifted his hand for you to shake. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You too.”

Eddie pulled you away towards the stairs that led to the loft. You couldn't help but look around at everything. “This is a beautiful building.”

Eddie nodded. “I agree. It's my favorite station in the city.”

You had barely made it to the top of the stairs before you were being engulfed in hugs. “Oh, uh, hi.”

Eddie chuckled. “This is Hen and Chimney.”

“We are so excited to finally meet you. Eddie here won't shut up about you,” Chimney said.

You glanced at Eddie, catching him trying to hide his blush. “I don't talk about her that much,” he argued.

“Constantly,” Hen mouthed at you with a grin.

Next, Eddie led you over to the kitchen. “And this is Cap.”

The man in front of the stove wiped his hands on a dish towel before reaching out for a handshake. “It's Bobby.”

“Nice to meet you. It smells amazing in here.”

Bobby smiled. “Well, thank you. This will be done in a few minutes. Eddie, can you grab everyone down stairs?”

“On it.” Eddie pointed to the couches. “You can make yourself comfortable over there.”

Within ten minutes, everyone was getting settled at the table. Eddie took your hand to pull you up from the couch. As he pulled out a chair for you, you suddenly felt your left arm go numb.

“Oh no.” You mumbled. You reached out towards Eddie as your knees buckled and the world around you disappeared.

Eddie was quick to catch you before you could hit the ground. “Woah. Y/N?” When you didn't open your eyes he slowly lowered you to the floor. Seconds later you were convulsing violently. Eddie couldn't help but to just stare at you in shock.

Chim was on the floor beside Eddie a second later. “Eddie, we got her.”

“I'll grab a med kit,” Hen announced as she ran for the stairs.

Chimney kept you rolled on your side. Bobby stepped closer to pull Eddie away. “They need room to work.”

Eddie tried to resist. “I should help.”

Buck stepped beside his best friend to keep him out of the way.

Bobby stepped towards you and grabbed your foot, pulling off your shoe. “Medical alert. Epilepsy.” He pointed at the shoelace tag as he looked towards Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. “I didn't know. Why didn't she tell me?”

Hen returned with a monitor and med kit and Chim filled her in. “Epilepsy. Let's just give it a minute.”

Eddie pushes past Buck and sat down on the ground by your head. He whispered soft reassurances in case you could hear him.

Chim pulled a pulse ox monitor out of the med kit and clipped it on your finger.

“She's barely breathing,” Eddie pointed out. He knew that was common with seizures but still couldn't help the mild panic he felt.

“That's normal,” Hen reminded him. She started to attach an oxygen mask to the tank she’d carried upstairs just in case.

Next, Chim started to attach cardiac leads to your chest. Once he'd finished, they waited for the seizure to stop.

“That's five minutes,” Bobby pointed out.

Hen and Chim sighed as they locked eyes with each other. “Alright, let's push Ativan,” Chim said.

“I'll start an IV,” Hen announced. “Eddie can you hold her arm?” He did as asked, trying to hold your arm as still as possible without hurting you. “I'm in.”

Chim pushed the meds he'd drawn up as soon as IV was secured. It took about another twenty seconds for the seizure to finally stop.

Everyone let out a relieved breath. Eddie pushed some hair back behind your ear.

“Let's get her loaded up and to the hospital,” Chimney broke the momentary silence.

Hen nodded. “I'll go radio dispatch and get ready.”

Within five minutes you were loaded into the ambulance with Eddie and Chim beside you as Hen shifted into drive.

“Ugh.” You groaned a few minutes later. “N-no hospital,” you mumbled out fighting your grogginess.

Eddie ran his hand over your head. “Yes, hospital.”

You huffed, frustrated you can't get the words out to explain. “E-epi–”

“We know about your epilepsy, we found your alert tag,” Eddie interrupted. “Sweetheart, your seizure lasted almost six minutes. Hen and Chim had to push meds to stop it. You have to go in.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. Suddenly you were glad you'd been with them for lunch and not alone at home. You knew he was right and allowed yourself to relax. “Tired.”

Eddie pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “That's the medicine. You can sleep.”

You nodded as your eyes drifted closed. You weren't sure you could have stayed awake even if you'd tried.

A few hours later, you were finally settled into a room after being poked and prodded. They had run all kinds of tests trying to figure out what might have caused the long seizure.

“Anything I can get for you?” the nurse asked.

You shook your head as you shifted in an attempt to find a comfortable position. Every muscle was sore.

“Okay. I'll let your visitors know they can come in now, if that's alright with you,” the nurse says as she walks toward the door.

“Visitors? Plural?” You ask surprised.

“You have a whole herd of firefighters waiting out there for you,” she explains.

“Oh, wow. Could you just send Eddie in for now?”

She smiles kindly. “Of course, honey.”

Eddie pushes the door open not five minutes later. He pulls up a chair and takes your hand in his, careful to avoid your IV line.

“Hi,” you greeted

“Hi. How ya feeling?” He asked.

“Kinda like someone put me through a blender.”

He chuckled and nodded. “You scared me. I'm just glad Bobby noticed your medical alert tag.”

“I'm sorry,” you sighed. “This is definitely not how I planned to tell you about my epilepsy.”

He locks eyes with you. “So you were planning to tell me.” He looks annoyed or maybe hurt that you hadn't already told him.

“Eventually.” You drop your gaze to the bed. “It's not exactly an easy conversation. It's caused a few break ups over the years.”

“What do you mean?” He looks genuinely confused.

“I'm too much to deal with. No one wants to deal with seizures,” you try to explain. “And you already have to deal with sick people all day at work. I'm sure the last thing you want to do is deal with the same at home.” You sniffle. “I'll understand if you want out now.”

“Y/N,” Eddie said, placing a finger under your chin to make you look at him. “I love you. This could never change that. Any guy who dumped you because of this is an asshole.”

Tears rolled down your face before you were suddenly sobbing, relief washing over you in waves.

Eddie moved quickly to sit beside you on the bed. Pulling you into his side and shishing you softly.

You had been so worried about telling him for so long. “I-I'm sorry. I should have told you.” You sniffled harshly. “I should have known you'd accept this part of me.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know now. That's all that matters.”

Eventually you calmed down but you were beyond exhausted. “Hey, isn't everyone still out there waiting?”

“Yeah.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I'll text them that you're okay and let them know they can head home.”

Placing a hand over his screen, you shook your head. “No. I want to see them.”

“You need to rest,” he argued. “They can come back tomorrow or we can go to the station if you're discharged.”

“Just a quick visit. Please? Fifteen minutes.”

Sighing, he stood from where he was still perched on the bed. “Ten.”

“Deal.”

[semperama]

#38 Buddie 😊😊😊

I got multiple requests for this one! Hope you enjoy! <3

"I like your laugh."

----

Eddie leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, filtering out everything but the sound of Buck’s voice in the next room.

“They said you had a weird laugh?” Buck is saying. Eddie is just out of sight in the hallway, the door cracked open so he can hear. “You don’t have a weird laugh, bud. I love your laugh.” A pause, a snort from Chris. “I mean it. It reminds me of your dad’s.”

“Dad almost never laughs,” Christopher says. Eddie’s heart seizes in his chest.

“Nuh-uh. I told an excellent bee pun at work earlier, and he was practically rolling on the floor.” The bed springs creak, and Eddie imagines Buck jostling Chris’s shoulder, ruffling his hair. “Also he loves to make you laugh.”

The first part might be an exaggeration, but the second part is true. Eddie remembers those early days after Shannon left, where every day felt like pushing a boulder up a hill. Being a father never came naturally to him, but when he made a funny face or a silly joke and Christopher threw his head back and giggled, it was like all the turmoil inside him went quiet for a while. It made him feel like less of a fuck-up.

“How do I stop the other guys from making fun of me though?” Chris asks.

Buck blows out a long breath. “You probably can’t,” he says, “and I know that sucks, but unfortunately kids are mean. Teenagers especially.” Eddie bites his lip, listening intently. “It just would suck more if you let a bunch of jerks keep you from being happy, right? If anything, you should laugh more. And louder. Really piss them off.” Buck lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “Don’t tell your dad I said that last part.”

And Chris does laugh, now. Eddie does too, his shoulders shaking silently. He has no idea what he did to deserve Buck, but he’s thankful for it every damn day.

“Now. Homework?” Buck asks.

“Finished,” Chris answers.

“Hmm, I’ll let Dad verify that one.” Eddie’s stomach flips at that, Buck calling him “Dad” like they’re—like they— “Love you, kid,” Buck says, and Eddie barely has time to pull himself together before Buck is there, stepping out into the hall with a satisfied grin on his face.

Eddie puts a finger to his lips and tilts his head toward the kitchen, and Buck rolls his eyes but follows after him. It takes that long for Eddie to breath through the wobbly feeling in his chest anyway, to be able to speak without his voice coming out rough with emotion.

“Thanks, man,” he says. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t talk to me.”

The wounds from the summer are still fresh—Chris’s firmly shut door, the way he wouldn’t even look at Eddie before he left, the weeks of radio silence. Some days, Eddie’s not sure if things will ever go back to normal, if Christopher will ever really trust him again. It seems like they’re healing, but then there are days like today, where it’s one step forward, two steps back.

“I think he’s just at that age where it’s really uncool to open up to your parents about anything,” Buck says with a shrug. “I’m like, the older friend or fun uncle or whatever. Less threatening.”

Buck shoots him a tight smile and starts to move past him toward the fridge, but Eddie gets a hand around his bicep, stopping him. “That’s not what you are, Buck,” he says. His breath catches in his throat, and he has to swallow hard to clear it. “You know that, right?”

Judging by the way he looks down at the floor, he doesn’t know it. And that’s just—that’s not acceptable. Eddie has been trying to tell him for years. After the tsunami. After the shooting. And all these little moments too—family dinners and outings and Buck always, always being the first one either of them calls when something goes wrong. He’s not just their friend—his and Chris's. He’s their rock.

“Eddie,” Buck says, but Eddie hooks a thumb under his chin, makes him look up again.

“That’s not what you are,” he says, then presses his mouth to Buck’s before he can argue.

It’s the most terrifying moment of Eddie’s life for about three seconds, Bucks’s sharp intake of breath and tense shoulders, Buck grip tight on his waist. But then, just as Eddie’s about to jerk away and apologize, Buck sinks into it, softening, arm curling around Eddie’s shoulders to pull him closer.

Eddie makes an embarrassing sound, relief and desire and gratitude all rolled up into one. Buck’s soft mouth and strong arms, his comforting presence in this house and in their lives, his infinite capacity to care for others—it’s more than Eddie thought he’d ever get to have for himself, but he knew he wouldn’t find it anywhere else either. To have it now, pouring into his outstretched hands—he almost stops breathing. He’s so happy, so fucking in love with him.

“Gross,” says a voice from behind Buck, and they jump apart, startled, wheeling around to see Chris grinning at them from the doorway. “Get a room.��

“Uh,” Buck says eloquently.

“Christopher,” Eddie says, not much better. His mouth is tingling and he wants to lift his hand to it, touch it to make sure this is all really happening.

“Can we get pizza tonight?” Chris asks, and it’s a blatant ploy to take advantage of the situation—they had pizza two nights ago, and Eddie tries to care a little more about his nutrition than that—but Eddie looks at Buck, and Buck shrugs, and Eddie shrugs back, and they say, “Sure,” in unison.

“Great,” Chris says, and then disappears again.

Eddie stands stunned for a long moment, but when he looks at Buck again, Buck is laughing, his body quaking silently, his hand half-covering his face. I love your laugh too, Eddie thinks. Buck collapses back against the fridge like he needs it to hold him up, and Eddie moves into his space again, hand settling on his hip, grin creeping across his mouth.

“Still think you’re the fun uncle?” he asks, and Buck looks up at the ceiling and groans, “Oh my God.”

Eddie kisses his jaw, his cheek, cranes his neck to brush his lips over Buck’s birthmark. “I was going to ask you to stay for dinner anyway,” he says, cradling Buck’s face in his palm and sweeping his thumb across his cheekbone. “But now I think you should just stay forever.”

“Oh yeah?” Buck asks with obvious delight.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, and kisses him again. This, here, is where Buck belongs.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Grease Lightning

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: This has been in my box for forever and I’m sorry it took so long to write

Warnings: A panic attack is implied

Every day since the accident you’ve watched Buck like a hawk. 

You stare at him while he eats his cereal, telling you how excited he is to see Eddie like a kid going to school to see their best friend. 

You stare when he’s on the couch playing games with Chris and Eddie has his arms around you because he’s staring for the same reason. 

And you stare when he’s lying in bed next to you, staring right back into your eyes. He reaches out, pushing a piece of hair out of your face, giving you a little smile. 

“I’m okay” He whispers every night, his heart crumbling when he watches little tears flow down your cheeks as you nod slowly. 

It’s funny because you’ve gotten better, he used to have to hold you until you cried yourself to sleep, you’d wake up every morning and he’d be practically lying on top of you, just so you could feel the warmth of his body, the beating of his heart. So you knew he was alive as soon as you woke up. He didn’t mind the extra pampering, because he knew you needed it. You packed his stupid paw patrol lunch box every day with his snacks because you knew Bobby had every meal covered. You drove him to work now, usually, you’d take your bike places but it was Buck who suggested you bring him to work to spend more time together and so you’d have a car all day, he didn’t mind not having it. 

It was all honestly mostly so he could keep an eye on you too. Eddie would ask in hushed tones how you were doing and Buck would nearly crumble each time because he was just so worried about you. 

You weren’t even sure the last time you’d had a nightmare about what had happened, therapy had been a huge help, teaching you ways to cope with the intense anxiety that something that freaking rare could happen again. Final destination your ass. But you already knew tonight was going to be kind of shitty. You’d woken up that morning, turning over and reaching for him to steal his body heat, when your hand was met with nothing but sheets, cool to the touch. Your eyes shot open, his phone wasn’t on the nightstand. 

“Buck?” You say quietly, your heart beating wildly in your chest. You scramble out of bed, and hurry down the stairs, looking around the apartment. 

“Buck?? Evan??” You call out louder, and there’s still no answer. The logical thing would be to just call him. But rationality doesn’t always come when we need it to. 

You wrap your arms around yourself, slowly sinking to the floor. Your hands are shaking way too much to even dial his number in the first place. You can feel the edges of your mind slowly fraying, your heartbeat seems to be slowing down, it’s like you can’t feel anything at all. What if he didn’t even answer you? What if he couldn’t answer you?

“C-call Eddie” You managed to choke out as you sank further and further into yourself and into this strange black hole. The phone rings and rings and rings and you’re not even sure when he answered but you can just barely hear him calling your name. He calls out your name again and you’re still not answering him. But he can hear you, he can hear the hyperventilating. You think he tells you they’ll be home as soon as they can and that it’s gonna be okay and he’s going to stay on the line with you and you just shrug in response to him because talking is not a thing you’re capable of right now. 

The front door slams open and Buck comes running over. He pulls you into his arms and kisses your head, holding you as tightly to his chest as you can stand it. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay now I’m here, just breathe baby I’m here” He strokes your hair as Eddie comes over, sitting down on the floor a little ways away from you two. He puts his head in his hands and sighs before looking up. Buck adjusts you in his lap and rubs your thigh slowly. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asks quietly and you shake your head, your body relaxing against his? 

“I have an idea,” Eddie says quietly and you bury your face further into his chest as Buck looks over at him. 

“You’re not really here” 

Suddenly you’re on the floor, no longer in his arms. You look around you, and Eddie is standing over you, with Buck’s limp body in his arms. 

“I’m sorry” He choked out as he fell to his knees “I-I’m so- I’m so sorry” 

“No, no please no Buck no” Your voice cracks as you scramble over to his body, hugging him to your chest “Buck please!” You sob “Evan please I love you, please” 

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N come on wake up” You slam forward in the bed and Buck shrieks, throwing his hands up in little fake karate motions. 

“What are you doing?!” You gesture at him wildly and he scoffs 

“What am I doing?? What are you doing?!! You- You were crying for me” He sighs softly, putting his hands down. “ You were crying and telling me you loved me” 

He sits back down next to you, fixing the covers around his waist, and sighs, running his hands through his hair and looking over at you.

“Another bad dream?” He asks quietly and you nod. He opens his arms and you crawl into his lap, clinging to his arm. He wraps them around you, kisses your head, and sets his chin down on it.

“Haven’t had one in a while… Almost thought you weren’t worried about me anymore, thought there was another man” 

You snort and pinch his arm and he bats your hand away.

“I’m for real life! What if you found another super sexy ultra mega hottie firefighter boyfriend?”

“Ultra mega hottie?” You giggle into his chest and he smacks your butt. You yelp and he snickers again.

“Hell yeah!…who else would you want to get engaged to?” He says the last part so quietly you almost question if you even heard it. You look up at him and he reaches over into the nightstand and pulls out a small velvet box. 

“I will always be here to save you, Y/N… You’ll never be able to get rid of me. Even lightning couldn’t do it!!” 

You laugh a little through the tears and he helps out sit up, opening the little box.

“This is not exactly the proposal I had in mind… actually Eddie is helping me set it up so you gotta pretend to be surprised okay?”

“Okay,” you nod slowly, gulping quietly and now crying for a completely different reason. The ring is gorgeous. It’s everything you’d wanted and you knew he had definitely been sneaking around on your Pinterest boards. He slips it on your finger and you stare at it, your heart pounding in your ears. 

“I love you, Y/N” He tilts your chin up and you smile, your heart no longer aching with the pain of imagining him gone. Because he’s here, right now at this moment your Buck is here and he’s alive and he’s beautiful and he’s here.

“I love you too” 

He leans in brushing his lips softly against yours and nuzzling your nose, grinning when you giggle. He cups your face, trailing his thumb over your cheekbone before planting a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. He exhales slowly and you smile, moving your lips against his. He closes the box and puts it back on his nightstand before pushing you back slowly with his body, never parting from the kiss. Your legs open to welcome him and he settles down between them, growling playfully. 

“Why future Mrs. Buckley” He pulls away a little to look at you “Are you propositioning me?” 

“Oh shut up!” You squeal laughing as he pulls your oversized shirt up and crawls under it

[princessamericachavez]

There’s really not much to talk about after Chris brings up Shannon. Buck wants to say something more, to ease the kid’s pain, to reassure him that people who love him won’t always leave, but he’s still a little shaky on that department himself and doesn’t want to be hypocritical about it. So they deflect, change the subject, and a couple minutes later he lets Chris to his homework.

Eddie, of course, was listening. Buck knows. He almost expects to find him waiting by the door as he steps out of the room, but he’s not in the hallway, or in his room. Finally, he finds his best friend standing in the kitchen with a sour look and two unopened beers.

Buck opens one beer with another (a trick he’s used many times to impress dates) and settles for a bottle opener for the second one. Eddie accepts the drink and all but collapses on a seat by the kitchen island.

“He’s mad at her,” Eddie whispers into the bottle’s neck after two long gulps.

Buck tries desperately to find words of comfort but fails once more. His eyes fixate in his own hands instead. Waiting.

“I- I was so angry, too, but I thought maybe he could… I thought I could protect him from it.”

“You’ve done so much for him, for her,” Buck offers. “You’ve kept her memory alive.”

“It’s not enough.”

“It’s better than the alternative, trust me,” he says, thinking of the brother he only just started mourning. “Christopher loves his mom, and he knows she loved him. Even if… if the other stuff hurts, it was also part of her.”

“I don’t want him to judge her harshly.”

“Maybe you couldn’t help it.”

Eddie’s eyes snap towards him, pinning him with something defensive that could be mistaken for anger. But Buck doesn’t let himself flinch away.

“Eddie, Shannon was a person. A whole person. With her… mistakes, too. You can’t really love someone who is just a pretty picture. Chris can’t think his mom was just… just a perfect mom. She was more than that, the way you are more than a perfect dad.”

“In far from perfect,” Eddie scoffs, shaking his head.

“Not arguing with you there,” Buck huffs, teasingly, hoping to ease the tension. “But you’re a pretty damn good one, and you’re doing your best. And that’s what Chris knows, and that’s why he loves you.”

“Shannon was trying her best too.”

“I know. And… I think Chris knows it too. But he also gets to be a little angry about the not so perfect parts.”

Eddie puts the beer down. For an instant, like a flash, Buck is afraid of having pushed too far. Even with all the years and the trust between them, he will never truly shake the fear of one day crossing a line he can’t walk back and lose his best friend like everyone else in his life. But he has grown enough to not let that fear hold him back. Not with Eddie. Never with him.

“I’m kinda lost here, Buck. I feel like I screwed up somehow.”

“You didn’t.”

“How do I fix it.”

“You taught me that’s not always the answer, Eds.”

But Eddie looks at him with those big pleading eyes and, dammit, Buck wants to help him fix this too.

“Okay, so… if Chris was mad at you, what would you do?”

“Give him some time to cool off,” Eddie replies almost immediately. “Then try to talk to him, explain myself, see each other’s side of things.”

“Right,” Buck frowns. “Though I guess that’s…. Not a possibility with Shannon.”

“No,” Eddie rubs a hand over his face, “it’s not. Unless-“

His gesture freezes. He’s had an idea.

“Oh, Buck you’re a genius!”

“I am?”

“Yes! No. Yes… I- okay I think I have an idea. Maybe. I gotta think about it.”

Buck is eager to know the plan, but the way Eddie’s words are bouncing around it makes him feel like it’s a complicated topic. Or at least one his friend isn’t ready to voice yet.

“Well, I’m glad I could be of some help. Since my attempts at keeping Chris from turning into a little Buck 1.0 kinda failed,” he offers instead, as a change of topic.

It works. Eddie startles with a laugh that makes the kitchen feel five times lighter.

“You did alright, Buck. I really appreciate your help.”

And he means it. Buck can tell by the way their eyes meet, with an electric intensity, like they did before at the changing room. The ghost of Eddie’s hand on his shoulder lingers like static over his collarbone.

“Maybe you can ask Marisol to try next. You know, get some female wisdom in there.”

Buck doesn’t know why he says it, wants to kick himself in the teeth immediately, but then Eddie’s reaction fills him with relief. He looks appalled by the idea. Buck tries not to think too hard about why that reactions feels so good, tells himself not to let it go to his head.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” he laughs nervously. “I mean, she’s great! But I don’t think we are there yet.”

Yet. Yet, yet, yet. Not yet, but some day. Soon, probably. Buck has been quietly living with that dread for weeks now. Knowing his days of… this are counted. That some day, soon, Eddie will have someone else to rely on for this. That the day is approaching when Eddie will sit him down to talk about his will again, to let him know he’s changed it all over again. For a better choice. A more permanent one.

“Better not to rush into things this time,” Eddie keeps talking.

“Right. Yeah. Yeah… no rush,” Buck barely remembers to smile.

Eddie sighs, takes a sip. Buck mirrors him.

“So, anyway,” Eddie stretches on his chair, “you got time?”

Barely enough.

“Always.”

As much as he has left.

“Cool,” Eddie smiles, “because I do believe I promised Chinese in exchange for this.”

“Really, Eddie, it was no favor. You know I’m happy to help with Chris.”

“I know, I know,” he rolls his eyes, standing up. “Just bare with me, okay? Will make me feel less like a failure tonight.”

“You’re not a failure, Eddie. Don’t say that.”

Eddie pauses on his way out. Puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Buck. Seriously.”

The touch is almost as electric as lightning. Buck ducks his head, feeling his heart stop and restart all over again.

“Anytime, Eddie. Now, about that Chinese…”

“Right, Chinese,” Eddie perks up. “Your usual?”

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Buck is obviously pissed at Gerrard in those stills.

Eddie is telling him to cut it out.

So, bear with me here...

What if....

Buck is furious for some reason and Eddie sees him about to go off. Those two are martyrs when it comes to each other. So, Eddie is using a hand to push Buck back or hold him back, but Gerrard doesn't let up. Eddie sees Buck about to lash out.

Keep in mind the end of season 7 showed us an Eddie who is not stable. Eddie is not thinking clearly, in case the whole Kim situation didn't make that obvious.

Eddie, not quite in the right frame of mind, reacts. Instead of letting Buck ruin his career and life, Eddie, who thinks he has already lost everything that matters, throws a punch. If Eddie feels like he has nothing to lose, in his mind, it would make sense. He protects Buck, who is not expendable, who he trusts with Chris more than anyone else.

Some people will say Eddie wouldn't do anything which could jeopardize his livelihood because of Christopher. A clear-thinking Eddie Diaz who isn't lost and without his son would never. This guy? We don't know much about him. Hell, Eddie Diaz doesn't know much about him!

That could lead to Buck demanding to know why Eddie would do something so stupid and Eddie being forced to examine his whole life to look for the answer because he genuinely doesn't know. All he knows is that he lost his son, his best friend is slipping away, in his mind, and he subconsciously feels he has nothing to lose, so why not take care of those he loves, even if it means sacrificing himself.

What if someone points out best friends aren't like Buck and Eddie and maybe he needs to ask himself why he reacts the way he does when it's Buck. My bet would be on Hen telling Eddie and Maddie telling Buck the same thing: Their friendship isn't typical.

Couldn't that trigger a self-discovery arc? Which could lead to answers Eddie isn't ready to face. Truths he must run from and hide from. But at some point, you run out of steam and places to hide. Eventually, the truth tends to come out.

PS: It may or may not ever become canon, but if I get enough free time, I will work on making it fanon.

[chronicowboy]

things from the tsunami arc that altered my brain chemistry irrevocably and eternally:

buck's hand twisted in christopher's shirt pre-wave

you're gonna be okay, kid and the hand on buck's face

the way buck cups christopher's head when he's finally got him in his arms

and the way he clings to christopher as soon as they're up on the fire truck for the rest of the episodes, always keeping chris nestled against his side or tucked under his chin whenever he's not saving people

how he freezes when he hears christopher fall in and just Knows its chris

buck finding christopher's glasses

the fact that we see the moment buck cuts himself and he doesn't even react because he's too heartbroken to feel anything else besides the grief

do i even need to mention buck carrying himself through most of LA on willpower alone?

or the black tent?

or buck calling maddie and not even worrying about telling eddie, just worrying about christopher, until he sees him at the VA hospital?

or how eddie nods as buck stammers through his explanation like he believes that its not buck's fault even as his heart is breaking over losing his child?

or the way buck hands eddie christopher's glasses?

or he was looking for buck?

how about the way eddie presses his forehead to christopher's temple?

and the Look between buck and eddie? buck, disbelieving, relieved, just utterly and completely relieved because whatever happens next, even if he never gets to see his diaz boys again, at least christopher is alive. and eddie, disbelieving, relieved, entirely and wondrously in awe of the man that kept his son safe and alive despite a tsunami.

and buck collapsing because finally, finally his job is done. nothing else matters now.

not to mention!!! the After

wait for me to come home my beloved <3

buck's whole voiceover

the way chris walks into the loft and rests his head against buck's stomach, trusting him to wrap him in a hug, and the way buck hesitates like he's not sure he's allowed

eddie pushing in, eddie, the strong silent type, filling the silence that buck would usually to try to drown (poor choice of words, i admit) out whatever thoughts are going through buck's head as he tries to object to being left alone

eddie's instantaneous, easy switch from nonchalant teasing to serious reassuring

two men five centimetres apart because they are gay!

eddie's hand on buck's shoulder and the fucking thumb on his neck... kill me :D

eddie being honest and vulnerable about his parenting

i love him enough to never stop trying and i know you do too because of course eddie has just had more than enough evidence of that, and not just evidence but tsunami-proof evidence that buck would quite literally go to the ends of the earth for christopher, but this quote, buddie or not, links buck to christopher, to that co-parent role, indefinitely and irrefutably

eddie's little comment about buck losing weight (sir... why are you paying so much attention 🤨)

and FUCK, perhaps the worst of them all, eddie pausing in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe, eyes down as he says buck's name and that little moment of hesitation before he looks up and says thank you. for not giving up.

[fromxxthexxashes]

Okay, this is kind of long, but just hear me out:

I keep seeing people say Eddie saying he ‘moves too fast’ seems out of character, but I don’t think I agree.

For one, he proposed to Shanon after she got pregnant, and when she came back in his life he immediately started sleeping with her and immediately moved to re-propose when he thought she was pregnant again.

With Ana, he did take things slower at first, but he did introduce her to Chris pretty quickly (at least I think so). Though, I will admit he didn’t introduce her without thinking about it because he did go to Bobby and Athena for advice. However, after he introduced Ana to Chris, they seemed to get a lot more serious fairly quickly. They hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ before Ana was stepping into this sort of ‘motherly’ role. After all, she was over at Eddie’s house cooking meals (ex: the dinner with/ Carla) and she looked after Chris for days during the blackout, when Abuela or Pepa could have helped out. Eddie described it as a “ready-made family”, which for me translates to ‘things went too fast and got way too serious before I knew it’. When he realized just how serious things were getting, he started panicking. She was enveloped enough in their life that Chris thought they would get married someday. And when the reality caught up to him that he was building this family unit with a woman he didn’t love, couldn’t love, it scared him and he broke it off.

Then he rushed things with M*risol and he freaked out again. The whole (admittedly stupid) nun storyline was there to show us that Eddie didn’t know anything about this woman (and that he has catholic guilt), yet he asked her to move in before he even said I love you. Why? Well, it goes back to Eddie’s age-old enemy: obligation.

For one, he feels obligated to have this permanent mother figure in Christopher’s life (and someone on here made a great post about how Eddie’s decision to ask M*risol to move in tied back to Chris’s storyline in 7x01 which I agree with with 100%). I also know that Eddie has never had a healthy romantic relationship in his life. He has never gotten with a woman without something pushing him to do it. With Shannon, it was a teen pregnancy and the church. With Ana, it was his (well-meaning) friends who pushed him to move on from Shannon. With M*risol, it was Pepa (with good intentions) who pushed him to start dating again, otherwise he might end up alone.

Marrying someone is something one does because one loves someone. Eddie proposed because he was afraid of what the church would think. Letting someone step into a mother-like role in a child’s life is something one does when one loves someone. Eddie did it because he was afraid he and Christopher were never going to be able to move on from Shannon. One asks someone to move in because they love them. Eddie did it because he was scared of having someone else walk out of his and Chris’s life.

Eddie has never followed his heart when it comes to his relationships with women. He has never dated someone casually before. He always tries to commit way before his heart is in it. He goes through these really long stints of being single, followed by relationships that do, admittedly, move really fast. He thinks he’s following his gut, but in truth, he’s following his misguided sense of duty.

The only time Eddie has made a serious commitment that wasn’t born out of obligation, was when he wrote Buck into his will. No one told him to do that. He did that because he wanted the best for Chris, sure, but more so because Eddie doesn’t trust anyone as much as he trusts Buck. And he did that knowing that his parents would disapprove. He did it despite his obligations to his blood family. Eddie followed his heart and tied himself and his son to Buck for the rest of their lives. (And notice how Buck has been a borderline co-parent to Chris for years, and that has never freaked Eddie out before)

So, yeah, I think he does move too fast in his relationships with women because he always takes serious steps before he develops serious feelings for these women. And he probably knows, deep down, that he’ll never be able to develop serious, romantic feelings for women. This is why he jumps into the deep end, because if he doesn’t, then he’ll never get there.

He has wants. He’s just not ready to acknowledge them yet. So, for now, he’ll just keep on doing what he feels he’s obligated to do.

[lover-of-mine]

I know I wrote a whole essay on why Eddie fell first and how you can track down some level of awareness all the way back to the tsunami if you try and all that, but I'm having let's recontextualize season 3 and 4 thoughts so... Here's the thing, Eddie's relationship with Shannon was defined by Christopher (and hypothetical child #2), right? He proposed because she got pregnant, he wanted to propose again when he thought she was pregnant again, he brought her back into his life because Chris needed something from her even though they had been living in the same city for a while and he had never tried to contact her for himself, he uses bringing Shannon back into Chris' life as a statement about their marriage until Shannon pushed him into the corner again asking what they're doing. So the one relationship ever had at that point in his life was defined by Christopher. And the way we witness Eddie struggle to trust Shannon adds to things. They're married, she's Christopher's mother but he's not all the way in unless when he's pushed into the corner. So when you look at all that, and the choice Eddie makes of looking Buck in the eye and say "there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" means a lot given the circumstances. Christopher almost died while on Buck's watch. No one in their right mind would blame Eddie for being cautious. But not trusting Buck doesn't occur to him. So he makes a very definitive statement about the space Buck has in his life using Christopher. I hate making the explicit comparison because a lot of the way Eddie doesn't trust Shannon comes from the fact she didn't choose to come back while Buck keeps barreling his way in, but he tells a Shannon begging for forgiveness that he's not sure he can trust her and then he turns around and pushes his way in to make sure Buck knows he still trusts him. Eddie might not understand all the implications of the way he still trusts Buck that much, but the implications are there. Then we have the lawsuit of it all. The lawsuit is categorically NOT about Eddie. But Eddie makes it about himself because he can't understand the way Buck wouldn't consider him while deciding he didn't have the 118 anymore when he thought he was being clear about what Buck means to him. Buck made it legally impossible for Eddie to talk to him and Eddie does not know what to do with not being able to talk to the one person he relies on even more with the way Chris is also struggling. So dude makes a statement about his relationship with Buck using Christopher yet again. "Do you have any idea how much Christopher misses you? How could you? You're not around." We don't know that for sure but I think it is safe to assume that Eddie did not find out about the lawsuit directly from Buck so all of a sudden, he was not allowed to talk to Buck and he took that very personally, but he uses Christopher as a shield for how the thing makes him feel, but he's still very much talking about himself because the second Buck offers a solution so he can see Chris, he turns around with "it prevents me from reaching out to you, I couldn't even call you to bail me out of jail," so even though Eddie is hiding behind Chris, everything is very obviously about their partnership. But it's Buck who forces him to talk about them. And Eddie let it go because he wanted Buck to consider him and Buck basically promises he will from then on and he keeps that. The thing is, Eddie is in therapy at this point and while Eddie is good at repression, it's not like the dude is unable to name the shit he's repressing. That man has to have thought about why Buck leaving him made him that angry. He has to have thought about why one of the fights he starts is with Buck. He might've not connected the dots, but he has to have realized there are dots to connect. Even more, considering the way Eddie shuts down Buck's attempt to get him to open up about why he was so angry. He's all things got out of hand, let's not think about it because he does not want to open that can of worms.

Then we have the Christmas and the way Buck adjacently fixes a problem by helping organize the party and making so Chris can be with Eddie and the skateboard incident where again, Buck is part of the solution. Those are situations that show that Buck and Eddie have similar parenting styles. And all of that leads us to the well. Eddie's I need to keep fighting montage is very interesting because of the amount of Buck in it, so Buck is in his mind. But also because the well prompts Eddie to change his will. Something became clearer while he was down there because it's not like Chris wouldn't be well taken care of by his parents and he has sisters, he has a lot of blood relatives who would make sure Chris was cared for. He's known Buck for what? A year and a half? And this is maybe 6 months after the lawsuit? And the guy is like "yeah, I'm gonna make this dude responsible for my kid and I am absolutely certain he'll do everything he can for me like I would" after almost dying. Mr defines relationships using his kid gives his kid to someone after the type of experience that makes a human take a deeper look into their lives and I need to believe Eddie doesn't know? He might've not named it in his head. He might've not looked at it head-on and accepted what it truly means. But he has to know something. There's no way that man thinks that what he has with Buck is just a regular friendship. Especially because he hides it. He could've asked Buck, taken Buck with him to talk with his attorney, Buck would've said yes. But he hid it because he didn't want to answer the "why me" question because even during the will reveal my man is in deflection mode and does not fully answer why he did it, he just answers the "why are you telling me" question. He needs Buck to understand he matters and he pulls the will out of his pocket. He goes "here's a reminder you're loved" with something that's one hell of a statement for Eddie. It's the thing Shannon asks for as a statement about their marriage that he couldn't give until he was pushed to it. The idea that he doesn't have some level of awareness he's in love with Buck is... He has to know and just have accepted he is gonna take that to the grave because Buck doesn't want him like that because the way he acts is very specific for me to believe it's fully unconscious. Dude repressed the shit out of it, but he knows what he's repressing, there's no way.

[exhuastedpigeon]

Eddie Begins Again where the flashbacks are obviously still to Eddie's life pre-L.A. but they're more than just how he felt like he was a disappointment to his parents and Shannon and to Chris.

This time the flashbacks are about his repression and religious trauma and how he pushed parts of himself down, put them away, to keep himself safe.

Him going to Catholic school and how traumatizing he was for him, even if he didn't realize it at the time.

Church and the priest talking about how being gay is a sin

Him clearly being infatuated/having a crush on a male friend.

Getting together with Shannon because she was his friend and he trusted her and he was so scared of what his feelings for his male best friend meant.

His extremely close male friendships in the Army. They never crossed any lines because Eddie was married, but he wonders if maybe he would have crossed those lines if he hadn't been.

After he came back from his final tour and after Shannon left him working three jobs and struggling to get by - too deep in his own head that he doesn't have time for anything outside of work and Christopher.

And then him meeting the 118 - meeting Buck - through Eddie's eyes.

Everything with Buck through Eddie's eyes - Buck golden and glowing. Buck and Chris as the light at the end of the tunnel when he was at his lowest.

The episode would end would Eddie walking about of his therapists office and calling someone asking if he could come over to talk. You find out the next episode that what we all assumed to be true was true, he called Buck. He followed the light all the way home.

[buddie-buddie]

be the lightning in me (strike relentless)

co-writer: @princessfbi 6x12 coda - 1.3k - g - read on ao3

“You died, Buck. You’re gonna feel a lot of different ways about that. Sometimes all at the same time. I found the best way to process it is to… allow yourself to feel it.”

“How do you feel about that?” The question’s been burning at the tip of Buck’s tongue since he first woke up, since he came out of the coma. Since he first saw the darkness hiding beneath Eddie’s relieved smile– lingering in his features, clinging to the shadows beneath his eyes and the stubble across his jaw. 

Ever since, the question’s been swimming in his mind, itching at his skin, begging to be asked. To be answered. 

Eddie sighs, suddenly very much occupied with trimming the crusts off of Christopher’s sandwich. “Buck–”

“No, I– I’m serious,” Buck presses. He has to know. He can’t bear it any longer. “E-Everyone keeps asking me how I feel. But who’s asking you?”

Eddie sets the knife down on the counter with a small huff. He walks over to the fridge, completely dodging the question. “You think Chris would rather have blueberries or grapes?”

“Grapes,” Buck doesn’t miss a beat. “Eddie.” Buck pushes because Eddie is the one person who pushes back and Buck doesn’t know why Eddie won’t even look at him. 

“Don’t ask me that, Buck.” 

It isn’t a request. 

Buck’s breath hitches, trapped somewhere in the back of his throat because it isn’t a request. It isn’t a command. It isn’t anything more than a raw, unfiltered plea from somewhere deep in Eddie’s chest. 

Buck doesn’t move. Moving feels dangerous. Like he’s waiting for lightning to strike again, but instead of him, it’s Eddie up on that ladder. 

But he needs Eddie to push back. How else is Buck supposed to remember that any of this is real? 

“Why not?” He asks, just as raw. Just as much of a plea. Maybe even a little more desperate.  

There’s something unreadable in Eddie’s expression. His voice is quiet when he speaks, rough in a way it only ever gets when thick with emotion. “Because I don’t want to lie to you.”

“Then don’t.” He swallows around the dryness that’s suddenly appeared in his throat. “I died.” Saying it out loud, saying it seriously , for the first time makes his heart slam into his ribcage. 

“Yeah.” Eddie draws in a long, shaky breath, He scrubs his hand over his face, his chest rising and falling slowly. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. A moment Buck clings to because he’s starting to understand just how much can be missed in a moment. Eddie braces himself against the countertop, fists clenching so tight his knuckles turn white. “It felt like a part of me died, too.”

The push. Buck feels it as the words nudge against his chest and find their way in between his ribs. The words are frank, strong. But they feel like they could shatter any second anyway.  

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Buck holds his breath. “Pretend I don’t.”

“Because when your heart stopped so did mine.” Eddie says, brave and heartbroken all at once. His gaze cuts to Buck and it’s like being struck by lightning all over again. “I love you.”

Eddie’s never said that before. Not without man or dude tacked onto the end of it. And never with such a softness to it. Never with the words dripping with reverence. Never like this. It sends Buck into a tailspin, his chest squeezing and his heart pounding as he replays the three words over in his mind. His pulse hammers in his ears. 

“Eddie,” he breathes. 

Eddie’s chin trembles before he bites his cheek and looks away. “You were just hanging there and I– I couldn’t pull you up.” His voice breaks.

“I’m sorry.” The shaky edge to Buck’s voice wasn’t there a minute ago. 

The sound Eddie barks out is harsh and catches in his nose as he shakes his head. “You don’t—”

He stops himself with a hand to his mouth, pushing away the bite of his words. Eddie curls his arms around himself like he’s trying to hold himself from splitting in two and it makes something in Buck ache. 

“You don’t have to apologize for being struck by lightning, Buck,” Eddie says, softer, gentler but just as certain. There’s forgiveness in his eyes all the same. 

Buck rises from his barstool, walking around the island until he’s closed the distance between them. He reaches for Eddie’s hands, taking them in his own as he meets Eddie’s eyes. “And you don’t have to blame yourself for what happened to me.”

Eddie’s gaze drops and Buck knows what Eddie’s instincts were telling him. He knows because his own are screaming at him to do the same, begging himself to stop exposing the throbbing live wire of a nerve they’d bandaged and pretended wasn’t hurting. 

Eddie barely gets the space to swerve before Buck is grabbing onto the first thing he can reach. Eddie’s hips are warm and soft beneath the harsh fabric of his jeans, giving to the slight pressure of Buck’s fingertips as he holds on. 

Eddie swallows, trying to back away, but Buck follows because if he doesn’t, he doesn’t think he would be able to find this moment again. The counter keeps them pinned and Buck dips down to catch Eddie’s eyes again. 

“Eddie,” he breathes. He’s too close. Close enough that he can count the number of endless lashes framing those hazel eyes. Close enough he can see the heartache swimming behind them. The hope, too. “I’m right here.”

Eddie’s mouth trembles. “But you weren’t.”

“I know,” Buck says. He has the sore chest and the bruises and the lightning branded into his skin to prove it. 

“Three minutes, Buck,” Eddie says, his words wet and thick with emotion fighting to break free from his resolve. “For three minutes you weren’t here. And I-I-I can’t…”

“I love you,” Buck says. Pushes because maybe that’s what they both need. Eddie’s eyes flutter closed as he exhales and Buck pushes again. “I love you, too.” The words roll off his tongue effortlessly, like they’ve been waiting a lifetime for the chance. Maybe they have been.

Eddie’s face twitches before he opens his eyes again. Strong, shaky fingers tangle in his t-shirt, holding him there like Eddie doesn’t want Buck to float away. 

Not even a hurricane could’ve made Buck move then. 

Eddie’s eyes shine as his fingers brush against Buck’s cheek. He touches him like he’s special, not like he’s fragile. Like he’s something precious. 

Buck presses his forehead against Eddie’s and a small breath from Eddie ghosts across Buck’s lips. The moment stretches between them like infinity and Buck breathes through the tension of it. 

“Please,” Buck manages, the word hanging between them in the space between their lips. 

Eddie kisses him and everything settles. The uncertainty snapping like static at the base of his spine softens and the low hum that’s been buzzing beneath Buck’s skin goes quiet. 

His blood sings as he melts into Eddie’s touch. 

A low sigh escapes his lips as Eddie pulls away too soon and Buck can’t help but chase after him. 

“I love you,” Buck murmurs. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of saying it, doesn’t think he’ll ever lose sight of the wonder that comes from being in love with Eddie and from being loved by Eddie in return. 

Eddie kisses him again and Buck’s breath hitches, warmth exploding behind his chest. He makes a tiny, contented noise in the back of his throat. He’s never felt more alive. 

Buck was dead, but Eddie brought him back. In more ways than one. 

Eddie breathes life into him in a way he hadn’t realized he so desperately needed, clinging to the inside of his lungs and permeating his soul on the deepest level. They’re two halves of one whole. 

Eddie brings their joined hands to his lips and lets his lips ghost across Buck’s knuckles. And with that, the last of the ache in Buck’s chest ebbs away like the tide beneath a full moon, his heart called home to Eddie’s like waves to the sea.

[callsign-dexter]

Runaway

Summary: Buck gets into a fight with Baby Buckley-Diaz. She runs away to the only person (s) she trusts.

Pairings: Eddie Diaz x Daughter!Reader, Evan Buckley x Daughter!Reader, Eddie Diaz x Evan Buckley

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, twisted ankle, scarped knee, blood

Masterlist

The Firehouse Miracle

Honestly, it was a stupid petty fight that had Y/N running away from her house and to Atheha and Bobby. Some very hurtful things were said on both ends and Eddie was there trying to defuse the situation. Neither of the fathers thought their 10-year-old daughter would run away from home at 10 PM on a Friday.

Everyone was stressed for many different reasons. Chris wasn't but he's always in good spirits. Eddie was too but he tried to keep his cool for his kid's sake. Buck and Y/N are very similar in many ways than one can think even if they aren't biologically related. They got stressed easily and were the ones to show it more. Buck and Y/N both had a hot-tempered attitude. They also shared the same expressions and handled certain ways the same. Even though she was like Buck she was a lot like Eddie too. Eddie and his daughter could think quickly on their feet and they handled certain situations the same too but if it got too much then forget about it.

So when the fight broke out she tried to stay calm she really did but her temper was quickly rising. The fight was about how she wanted to go out to a friend's house, who was having a party. Both parents had said no but she really wanted to go so she kept pushing until it got too much and Buck exploded in anger and so did she.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

When they went and picked her up from school Friday afternoon is when the asking to go started. Both Eddie and Buck were already stressed from the all-day stressful calls they were getting. Chris had already been picked up from school by Carla and now they were picking her up. Eddie parked the truck as Buck got out and went into the school to get her.

He walked in and to the desk and the receptionist was already looking up and calling on her phone. They talked small talk and then she walked in.

"Hi, Daddy." She said and hugged him and he hugged her back embracing the warm and calming feeling she lets off.

"Hey, Baby. How was your day?" He asked as he let her go and shouldered her backpack.

"It was good! Jordan has a birthday party this weekend and I was wondering if I could go." She asked hopefully usually they let her go to things like that but they weren't feeling particularly well at the moment.

"I don't know, Baby. We'll have to see what your father says. I think we already made plans." He told her and watched her face fall.

"Oh ok." She said and they walked in silence to the black truck that is her other dad's. When they got there Buck helped her into the truck and buckled her up. Eddie looked at her face and noticed she wasn't her usually smiling self.

"Hey, Princesa. How was school?" He asked and she just shrugged her shoulders as Buck got into the passenger side of the truck. Eddie frowned "Everything ok?" He asked both of them. She was silent.

"Jordan is having a birthday this weekend at her house and I wanted to go." She said quietly looking down. Eddie sighed and looked at Buck and they seemed to have silent conversation with each other.

"Princesa, we have some things planned this weekend. You're not going to be able to go." He said calmly and she nodded and looked down. The question was dropped as they rode home. She knew not to test them but she really wanted to go but she dropped it for now and decided to ask again later, maybe they would forget that she asked beforehand.

When they got home everyone got out of the truck and walked inside. Chris greeted them happily and they all smiled. He was such a happy kid. Y/N sat at the table and started her homework, which wasn't much. Buck and Eddie were working on dinner since they got home around 5 PM and they usually eat supper at 6:30 PM.

"Papa, Daddy?" She asked addressing both of them.

"Yes, Princesa?" Eddie asked

"Yes, Baby?" Buck asked at the same time.

"Can I go to Jordan's birthday party?" She asked them and looked up and they sighed.

"We've already been over this, Princesa. We already have some plans for the weekend." Eddie said and she pouted but wasn't about to give up.

"Please?" She asked giving them puppy dog eyes. Buck's temper was slowly rising they'd already said no but her stubbornness, which she got from Buck, wasn't going to let her stop.

"No. End of discussion. Now clear the table dinner is ready." Buck said sternly. She groaned but did what she was told. She wasn't happy about it.

Dinner was tense and Chris could feel it and tried to make it less tense and it helped but it wasn't for very long. "Hey, Dad. What are we doing this weekend?" Chris asked.

"We have a firehouse event we have to attend to." Eddie said and that made Y/N frown.

"Do I have to go to it?" She asked really wanting to go to Jordan's birthday party.

"Yes, you have to. We already said everyone was going to be there." Buck said temper running high as they all finished their food and started collecting plates. It was dark now and had started raining. She followed them to the kitchen carrying her plate and sat it on the counter.

"But daddy." She began pouting and Buck looked at her.

"No means no Y/N. You're not going and that's final." He said turning around. Eddie was getting mad that she kept asking but why have both parents fight? It would just cause more tension.

"You always say no though." She said temper rising.

"You're not going and that is final." Buck said turning around to look at her.

"Please." She tried pleading one more time and saw the look on his face. "You never let me have fun." She said crossing her arms.

"We're trying to keep you safe. We've seen how crazy parties get." Buck said while wiping down dishes and putting them in the drying rack.

"So? It won't happen there." She said starting to get sassy.

"You don't know that. You're not going and that is final. Now get ready for bed." Buck said.

"Papa." She said whining. He knew he was going to get roped into this he calmly turned to her.

"Princesa, you can't go. We've already made plans for the firehouse event." Eddie said

"It's only one event I'll be missing. It's not a big deal." She said angrily.

"Yes it is a big. We told you no and that's final. Now stop asking." Buck butted in and that's when her temper exploded.

"I hate you." She said turning to walk away.

"Yea well, I hate you right now too." Buck said and she stopped and tears filled her eyes.

"Buck." Eddie said not mad anymore at her but at him. She turned to them and said something that would crush any parents heart.

"I wish I wasn't born. I wish you would've just let me die in that car accident." She said. They never kept her from the truth when she asked why she didn't have a mother.

"Yea? So do I. Right now you're acting like a little spoiled brat." Buck said out of anger. Eddie looked at him shocked and then anger.

"Evan Buckley." He said and then turned towards their daughter.

"Princesa, he didn't mean it." Walking over to her but she was already out the door and taking off running. He turned towards Buck. "If she gets hurt and worse. It's on you." He said Buck had a look of regret on his face.

"I didn't mean it but she was acting out." Buck said now starting to worry.

"I get that but so were you. I get that we are stressed but we never ever take it out on our children. We made that promise." Eddie said angrily.

"I know ok. I know. I didn't mean it. It was stupid. I wish I could take it back." Buck said just as Chris walked into the room.

"What's going on?" He asked

"Y/N and Buck had a fight and she took off. Are you ok here alone while we go look for her?" Eddie said and Chris nodded.

"Yes. Bring my sister back home." He said and Eddie nodded and then looked at Buck.

"Are you coming?" He said a little irritated at him.

"Yes of course. Why wouldn't I?" He asked.

"I don't know Buck maybe because you did say you wished she wasn't born or that wished that we didn't save her. Start calling her friends and we'll go to some of their houses." Eddie said and Buck nodded doing just that he didn't say a word. The words he said hit him like a ton of bricks.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

When Y/N had run out of the house she didn't think about grabbing a rain jacket. She just took off. She had turned off her tracker. While she was running she had slipped on the wet asphalt and twisted her ankle when she slammed into a stop sign cutting her.

When she was far enough away from the house she called her Aunt Maddie and Uncle Chimney. She was hoping they were home.

"Hello?" Maddie asked tiredly

"Aunt Maddie." Y/N began crying

"Honey, are you ok?" She asked

"I'm sorry for bothering you. It sounds like I woke you up." Y/N said, "I'll let you go." She finished.

"No Honey. Where are you it sounds like it's raining." She said

"Dad and I fought. I ran away. Are you home?" She asked and she heard her sigh.

"No, Honey. We're not. We took a little trip out of the city." Maddie said.

"Are you ok?" Chimney asked the youngest Buckley-Diaz.

"No. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll leave you guys alone. I love you." Y/N said sniffling.

"Y/N/N wait." Maddie began but Y/N had already ended the call.

She started to limp off in the direction of another house she knew the way to very well. She went off onto a beaten path and as she was climbing a hill she slipped and got mud all over her while twisting her knee in the process and she just started crying harder.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buck and Eddie had stopped at Y/N's best friend's, Liz, house. They parked the car and went up to the door and knocked. They waited for a second until it opened.

"Hey Eddie, Buck. What can I do for you?" Mrs. Waters asked.

"Y/N and I had a fight and ran out. We were wondering if she came here." Buck said

"No. I'm sorry. If she does turn up I'll give you a call." She said and they nodded.

"Thank you. We appreciate it. Sorry to bother you." Eddie said

"It's not a problem. Have a goodnight boys." She said

"You too." Buck said and they walked off and got into the truck and headed off. Eddie pulled off the side of the road and they began talking.

"Ok so she's not there or any other of her friends. Maddie is out of town. Do you think she would go to Hen?" Buck asked

"It's worth a shot." Eddie said and so they took towards her place. They drove to Hen's place and parked in her driveway. They walked up and knocked on the door. It didn't take long for her and Karen to answer the door.

"Eddie? Buck? Everything ok?" She asked

"No Buck and and Y/N fought some words were said and she took off. We've been trying to find her. Thought she would come here." Eddie said.

"Why don't you come in and we'll figure this out together." Karen said worried for the couple and their daughter. They walked in and sat down on the couch and they began trying to figure it out.

As they sat down Buck had gotten a call from his very angry sister. He got up and walked into the kitchen away from the others for privacy.

"Evan Buckley, explain to me why my niece calls me crying and what sounded like she was standing out in the pouring rain. You know how she deals with stress. She's too much like you." Maddie said any tiredness gone from her voice.

"Maddie it was a big misunderstanding. We had a fight and somethings were said." Buck said trying to justify himself.

"Why was so in the pouring rain?" She asked at the same time as Chimney asked the same question.

"She ran away and we can't find her." Buck said

"You better find her." She said and hung up.

Buck walked back into the living room "Maddie and Chim just chewed me out."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

When Y/N reached Athena and Bobby's she soaking wet and shivering. She was also limping and bleeding. She had year tracks going down her face but you could hardly tell with the rain. She limped her way to the door and rang the doorbell. She waited and waited she turned around and was about to limp her way back home when the door opened.

"Y/N?" Bobby said and she turned around but almost fell. He was in his sleepwear.

"I didn't know where else to go." She said and started sobbing. He looked her over and noticed some bleeding from under her right eyebrow and running into her eye.

"Come on get out of the rain." He said and helped her into the house and down the stairs. About that time Athena had walked in.

"Bobby? What's going on?" She asked but then saw him with her. "What happened, Sweetheart?" She asked coming over to the young girl. They guided her to the couch and sat her down.

"Dad and I fought he said that he wished that you guys never saved me. I also said that I wished I was never born." She said and they looked at her.

"What brought this on?" Bobby asked

"I wanted to go to Jordan's birthday party this weekend but Papa and Dad said that we already had plans. Plans for an event for the firehouse. They said I wasn't allowed to miss it." She said taking a breath "So I ran away. I tried to call Maddie and Chim but they went out of the city. I slipped on the asphalt and hit a stop sign and twisted my ankle. Then as I was climbing a hill I slipped and fell in the mud and hurt my knee." She finished with fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I take they don't know you're here." Bobby said and she shook her head.

"No." She said quietly

"I'm gonna go get you some dry clothes and then we're going to clean you up and check out that ankle and knee." Athena said and went into May's room and got some clothes she left that she didn't want or fit into then came out. Athena helped her change and then went out to where Bobby had the first aid kit.

Bobby started dabbing at the cut and she flinched but didn't make a sound. Athena took your clothes and threw them in the washer. "You know we're going to have to call them right?" He asked her and she nodded. "Well, good news is that you don't need stitches." He said and then went on examining her knee and ankle, which were both swollen. "Looks to be just twisted and sprained." He said and she nodded and yawned.

"Why don't you lay down on the couch and we'll call your parents." Athena said and Y/N nodded and laid down. Bobby threw a blanket over her. They walked into the kitchen and talked in a hushed whisper. Bobby got his phone out and called Eddie.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Eddie and Buck were still at Hen's and Karen's. "We tried her friends. We went to her favorite places. We can't find her anywhere." Eddie said.

"She couldn't have gone far. Do you have the find my family app?" Karen asked and they nodded.

"But she turned it off." Buck said and before anyone could speak Eddie's phone rang.

"Hey its Bobby." He said confused

"Hey, Bobby. What's up" Eddie asked

"Y/N showed up at our place soaking wet, shivering, covered in mud, sprained ankle, a twisted knee, and cut above her right eyebrow. She said that her and Buck got into a fight." He said and Eddie sighed and put him on speaker.

"She's telling the truth. She ran away when some hurtful things were said on both sides.

"She's sleeping on the couch as we speak. Athena is with her." Bobby said.

"Thank you, Bobby. We're on our way." Eddie said

"Be safe, it is still pouring down rain." Bobby said

"We will be." Eddie said and they hung up.

Buck and Eddie bid Karen and Hen a goodbye and they gave each other a hug and they were on their way to get their little girl.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

When Eddie and Buck got to Bobby's and Athena's it had stopped raining. Eddie parked the truck and they walked to the door at 10 PM. Buck knocked on the door and Bobby answered the door. He let them in and took them to Y/N. Their hearts broke at the sight of their little girl, she was curled up and looking so small.

"She's ok. She doesn't need stitches. Her clothes are in the washer. I'll bring them to our next shift." Bobby said and they nodded and he walked away letting them deal with their little girl. Athena got up and joined her husband. They bent down in front of her and Eddie ran a hand on top of her head. She slowly stirred and opened her eyes.

"Papa?" She asked and he nodded and then she looked over at Buck and tensed and her eyes went wide and she sat up.

"Hey it's ok." Buck said and reached out to put a hair behind her ears. "Y/N, I'm sorry I said those things. I didn't mean it. You're one of the best things to happen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Buck said and she relaxed and looked at him.

"I'm sorry too for running out and saying I hate you." She said in a small voice.

"Are you ready to go home?" Eddie asked and she nodded.

"Yea." She said with a yawn. Bobby and Athena walked in.

"Thank you guys." Buck said standing up at the same time as Eddie.

"Anytime guys. Y/N get better soon." Bobby said and she nodded and tried to stand up but winced.

"I'll carry you." Buck said and picked her up and she snuggled into him. Eddie opened the door for them all and they walked out. Eddie opened the passenger side of the truck and Buck gently put her in.

Eddie and Buck got in and started their drive back home. While at a stoplight they looked back and saw Y/N asleep. They smiled at their little girl. Yes hurtful things were said and she may have ran away but she ran to people she trusted. Running away was not the smartest but it was in the heat of the moement.

They got home and but got her out of the truck once it was parked and they headed inside Chris was already in bed and asleep. "I'll go tuck her in." Buck said and Eddie nodded. When he didn't come back after 5 minutes he went and looked in on them. What he found was Buck cuddling their little girl fast asleep and her gripping his shirt like her life depended on it. He walked in and planted a kiss on both of their foreheads

"Goodnight you two. I love you both." He said and covered them up and left the room. He went to check on Chris who woke up when his door cracked.

"Did you find Y/N?" He asked sleepily and Eddie nodded smiling. He walked into the room and sat on his bed.

"We did. She and Buck are fast asleep in her room. Go back to sleep bud." Eddie said to him and he nodded and rolled over and went to sleep. He kissed his forehead and left the room.

Eddie got ready for bed. He didn't like sleeping alone but knew that Buck needed this and let them be. They were both stressed and it could've been handled better but everyone was safe. Their safety is all that he cared about as he rolled over and went to sleep. Their family was complete again and nothing was going to change that.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

[hippolotamus]

WIP Wednesday ☀️

Tagged by the lovely and talented @tizniz @wikiangela @daffi-990 @theotherbuckley @bidisasterbuckdiaz @wildlife4life @thekristen999 (can't wait to get to all your posted fics and snippets!)

This is not at all what I thought I'd be posting today. But in the course of visiting WIPs through asks the last few days, this one really grabbed me again. Here's the last snippet (and master tag list). It made me cry so now I'm making it your problem, too.

Evan’s voice is shy this time, relieved. Eddie can picture the way he’s cradling his phone, his elbow resting on his other arm wrapped around his middle. The way he’s ducking his chin and his cheeks are probably painted in a rosy blush. It loosens the knot in Eddie’s chest, just the tiniest bit. Enough to ease the mess that’s been tangling together for nearly five years now. “How have you been?” Eddie asks.  “Oh, y’know. Okay. I’m in Arizona now. About eight hours from Tucson.” “Arizona? Wow, you, uh, probably aren’t worried about snow storms then.” “Nope.” Evan pops the ‘p’ and gives a small chuckle. “Can’t say that even breaks the top ten. Haboobs on the other hand… well those are a whole other thing.” Eddie’s just about to ask what the hell a haboob is when Christopher’s piercing shriek fills the air. Eddie whips his head around to look. He rushes over to his son who is a pouting mess of tears and flailing limbs, and pulls him into his arms while still holding the phone between his ear and shoulder. “Sorry about that,” Eddie says once he’s got Chris settled in his arms. He looks over his tiny body for any obvious injuries, and feels along his head and spine, not even sure what exactly he’s looking for. The outburst had been so sudden and Chris hadn’t even been so much as toppled over. But then, as quickly as it started, it recedes again as Chris pops his thumb in his mouth and nuzzles into the crook of Eddie’s neck.  “Is that-” Evan sucks in a shaky breath, cutting himself off.  Eddie’s throat and chest grow tight as realization dawns on him. The reminder of every mistake he’s made – even the ones that gave him his perfect son – sticking like daggers in his heart. Because Evan’s never heard- he doesn’t know. Because he left and was gone. Because Eddie pushed him away and couldn’t be what Evan wanted or needed.  “Christopher,” Eddie says, barely able to keep his voice from breaking. “He’s four now. Almost five.”  “Christopher,” Evan repeats.  An unbearably heavy silence stretches between them, so loud in its intensity that Eddie wishes it would just swallow him whole already. He doesn’t know how much time passes before there’s the sound of shifting and crackling on the other end. “I should, uh, I should go,” Evan rushes out. “It was nice to hear from you again.” “No, Evan, wait-” Eddie pleads, only to be met with more silence as he realizes the call’s been disconnected. Evan’s gone. Again.  In a haze, he lets his phone drop to the floor. He rearranges a now dozing Chris as he numbly settles on the recliner, gently rocking them back and forth. Silently, tears begin to stream down his face and he rocks them faster as if it’ll keep him from shattering and breaking apart completely.

np tagging @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @actuallyitsellie @filet-o-feelings @queerbuckleys @bi-buckrights @chaosandwolves @diazsdimples @elvensorceress @epicbuddieficrecs @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @saybiwithme @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @lizzie-bennetdarcy @loserdiaz @loveyouanyway @monsterrae1 @rmd-writes @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @statueinthestone @steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @weewootruck @welcometololaland @your-catfish-friend @slightlyobsessedwitheverything and anyone else who wants to 😘

[princessamericachavez]

Say Don’t Go | 911 7x10 spec

Based on the stills and my brain not shutting up

“I hate you!”

Christopher’s voice resonates through the hallway until his door slamming cuts it off. Eddie flinches and Buck’s heart breaks.

“Chris-“

Eddie moves half a step forward and Buck stops him by the shoulder before he can go after his son. It’s not going to help. If he knows anything about angry teenagers (having been one particularly angry himself) is that Chris needs a moment away from his dad.

The problem are those big brown eyes. Because when Eddie looks back at him, so lost and heartbroken and desperate, Buck knows he has to do something. Because this is wrong, it’s just wrong, and Buck knows he cannot fix everything for the people he loves but he cannot —will not— stop trying no matter how impossible it feels.

“Let- let me try and talk to him,” Buck asks.

“What?”

Helena and Ramon both turn to him with equal disbelief, but Buck doesn’t even bother looking at them. They’ve been so ready to take this opportunity to rip Chris away from Eddie. And, sure, they are worried and Eddie should’ve handled this a lot better, but they aren’t even giving him the chance. So he doesn’t look at them, he keeps his eyes on Eddie who gives him the smallest, pleading, nod.

That’s all Buck needs. With one final squeeze, he lets go of Eddie and moves across the living room with long strides before the Diaz’s can stop him.

Who does he think he is? What gives him the right to intervene? How dare he even be here? Whatever they are thinking, comes second to Chris and Eddie.

Buck knocks gently on the door.

“Go away!”

“H-hey, buddy, it’s me. Can I come in?”

There’s a long terrifying pause that nearly shatters what’s left of Buck’s heart before the reluctant “okay.”

With a relieved sigh, he pushes in.

Christopher is sitting on the edge of his bed, a packed backpack by his side. For a second, Buck thinks of another day, years ago, when he found him just like this. Back then, Buck’s biggest fear was that Eddie’s heart would stop. Today, he’s terrified it will break beyond repair.

“Hey, Chris.”

“Hey, Buck,” he says, looking down at his hands.

Awkwardly, Buck makes his way to the bed and sits on the edge next to the boy. He’s so big now, older and taller, but he can still see the same child that had to comfort him after the shooting.

“Chris, are you sure about this? Leaving your dad, even if it’s just for a while… that’s not going to fix things between you.”

“I don’t want to fix them,” Chris snaps, sharply. “He lied to me! He lied to Marisol, to you, he lied to everyone!”

And that’s not something Buck can argue.

“Yeah, he- he screwed up, Chris, but you need to understand.”

“I understand! Why would he that! He’s- he always told me to tell the truth and to be good but he was a liar.”

“Hey, hey, that’s- that’s not fair. One mistake doesn’t make him a liar. He just- listen, Chris, you know your dad loves you more than anything in the whole world, right?”

He’s met with silence.

“Right?”

Chris gives a noncommittal shrug.

“Right,” Buck nods. “Because he does. And he would never, ever, do anything to hurt you.”

“But he did! It hurt! Seeing her and thinking it was her… it hurt, Buck.”

“I know, buddy… I do. I just- I meant, he would never hurt you on purpose.”

“He had to know it would hurt.”

“He did. Which is why he lied…”

Christopher huffs and Buck has the horrible feeling he’s not being as helpful as he hoped. What was he thinking? Just because he loves Chris with his whole heart it doesn’t mean he knows the first thing about being a parent. He only knows what Eddie taught him.

The memory hits home like a wave. Sunlight, a warm hand on his shoulder, his heart twisting from guilt to relief and to something bigger he couldn’t name.

“You know, your dad isn’t perfect.”

“No, he isn’t,” Chris scoffs.

“He isn’t perfect,” Buck repeats, tone pleading Chris to let him finish, “and he knows it. He told me once himself, that he’s failed many times as your dad. But he also said that he loves you enough to never give up, to never stop trying to be better… for you.”

Chris is quiet, but by the way his shoulders hunch and his head tilts, Buck thinks he might be getting to him. So he pushes on.

“And- and the thing is, Christopher, your dad is very hurt right now. It’s- it’s nothing like the time he was shot… it’s something… deeper, older. Because, you see, when Shannon- when your mom died, it really hurt your dad. He loved her so much… and I don’t think he ever healed from it, not really. I think that’s why he did all this. Because he’s in pain…”

Christopher peers at Buck from under his curly fringe, reluctantly making eye contact.

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“No, it doesn’t. But- but I think your dad really needs us right now. He- he needs you,” he corrects quickly. “This time, I think your dad needs you not to give up on him.”

“But I’m still mad.”

“And- and that’s okay. You can be mad. You get to be angry or sad or confused, I just- I just hope you can fight for your dad, like he does for you. Because, Chris, if he loses you… I think the pain will be too much this time.”

Chris is quiet. And Buck is exhausted.

“I don’t wanna make you feel responsible for him, Christopher. I promise, whatever you choose, I’ll have his back and make sure he is okay. I just- I think he needs both of us right now.”

“Why are you defending him? Aren’t you mad too? He lied to you too.”

“I- yeah, he did. But he’s my best friend, and I love him. I’m not quitting on him, he’s never given up on me.”

“Hmmm.”

It takes a couple minutes before Chris decides to get back up. Buck stays only because he isn’t asked to leave and, only when he sees the boy step outside does he dare follow cautiously.

In the living room, whatever Eddie was talking in hushed tones with his parents dies down immediately. He only has eyes for his son as he approaches.

“Mijo-“

“You have to promise that it won’t happen again,” Christopher demands, voice shaky. “You need to try to do better and you have to promise that you won’t lie to me again.”

Eddie walks towards his son like he is in a dream, eyes tearful. Buck can see him trembling even from afar, where he’s found a corner to tuck himself into and disappear.

“Christopher,” Eddie says, kneeling before his son and gently holding him, “I swear- te lo juro por mi vida. I will do better. I will- I will be better for both of us. I will spend every day trying to be a better father for you.”

“Okay,” Chris says.

“Okay?”

“I’m staying.”

Eddie leans forward to hug his son, but is met with a gentle push back.

“I’m still mad at you, dad.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course,” Eddie mumbles, but the relief in his voice is still palpable.

Eddie looks past Chris’s shoulder and his eyes find Buck. The look in his face… Buck knows Eddie like the back of his hand but he cannot quite place what it is. Thankfulness and relief and hope… but there’s something else behind it that makes Buck’s heart twist painfully.

So Buck looks away, tries to find something —anything— else to focus on and lands on the Diaz’s faces. Eddie’s parents look at him with… well, it isn’t quite anger, but there’s a confusion there and a bewilderment that somehow makes Buck even more uncomfortable. He ducks his head and beelines for the kitchen. He should let them be alone…

“Buck!” Eddie is rushing after him before he can get to the door.

When he turns around, he finds Eddie standing there, shaking and shocked. Buck waits, but Eddie doesn’t seem to have any more idea than he does about what he planned to say next.

“Sorry, I- I should probably go.”

Eddie takes a step forward, with that look still on his face.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Buck goes on. “Just- just be with your son tonight.”

“You sure? You could stay.” Eddie steps closer.

“No, it’s- it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to intrude, with your family-“

“Buck-“

“And Tommy is waiting at my place, so…”

Eddie stops. He blinks.

“Right, yeah. Of course. Just- I- Thank you.”

Buck smiles, even if the air between them still feels charged.

“I have your back, Eddie. Always.”

And before anything else can get his head spinning he steps out the back door. Only once outside does he stop and finally breathe. That was… that felt like… but it cannot be. It wasn’t. Even if Eddie looked like he wanted to-

No, of course not. Better get going, before his heart can manage to fool itself once again.