#even when it hurts me

[ravenrambles6229]

Titanium Ninja actually kind of fucks, though

So I rewatched the last episode of season 3. A pretty mid season, right? Well that final episode fucks in all the ways that made my brain vibrate as a 12 year old. So let’s fucking go I need everyone to appreciate this episode.

First up, ninjas trapped in space. Alright. There’s already no solution to this that isn’t bullshit, so just make it cool. Well, I like that they had to use their abilities and knowledge to make the ship instead of tornado of creation-ing it. Really shows how much they’re capable of when they work together!

“How we holding up?” “Bubblegum and a wish!” As they fucking send it. What a legendary line. It burned itself into my brain for years to come and is a part of my standard lexicon.

“Hasn’t Ninjago suffered enough already?” She asks, on season 3 out of what is now 17.

Overlord’s face is kinda silly but the mech honestly kinda slaps.

“My heart has reached critical mass, it appears my unlimited energy is in fact limited!” “Critical mass? You mean it’s gonna blow up?” “Don’t worry about me!” AHJGHSJKG See kids, this is what we call foreshadowing.

Okay but seriously, now that they’re in the atmosphere, they use their elemental powers to shield themselves as they come in from from orbit like goddamn meteors. Is it bullshit? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely the fuck not.

Skales saying they can’t help the people of Ninjago then doing it anyway? Love him for that. Because he presumably sees the ninjas and is like “ugh these fuckers again. Well if they did it once-”

The city recognizing the ninja as they plummet towards the earth as multicolored meteors? There had better be folk songs about this. I’m surprised there isn’t a church. Saviors from the stars here to kill Satan.

Man, people still getting a haircut as the Overlord attacks. Frickin iconic. No wonder people handled season 9 so well.

Pixal on her lil bike.

Also the ninja being caught by their vehicles. Does it make sense? Not really. But the animation for it is cool so once again, I am fully on board.

“A few parachutes would have been nice!” “Friends and family make a good substitute!” Fuck, I love Kai so much.

City fortress. Cloaked in blacks and reds in a dusky sky. What a sick image.

The fact that they were prepared to throw hands with the Overlord even before Borg came to them with a solution. These lil heroes I love them so much.

Lloyd biking through a hole in a window while Cole just WHAM. I love them both so much.

“Go back, and our probability of making it to the temple exponentially diminishes!” “This isn’t about numbers, Zane! It’s about family!” AAAGH the fact that that line came from Kai! Also, foreshadowing!

Cole whooping even as he’s running from certain doom, what an icon.

Lol the ancient seal of the temple being helped by a convenient barrier.

“Let me get this straight, you want us to get close to a guy with armor that, with one touch, will make us toast, and you want us to give him a pill?” “Precisely!” Oh Borg, never change. Unironically my favorite side character, I love this genius idiot so much. He’s just like “well if anyone can do it, it’s you lunatics” and it still feels like pot calling kettle black.

Zane offering his armor to Pixal!!! I love him! Even though he’s so big on probability, he’s so willing to give up his own safety for others!

“I shall see you again.” AAGH

Magic armor toysets!!

The ninja ninja-ing over rooftops will never not make my brain whir.

Okay the golden spiderweb thing goes kinda hard as a villain aesthetic, though. Great way to make the normally heroic golden colors look all evil!

That shot of the ninja, these tiny lil dudes, against this giant evil robot kicks so much ass though.

“Then attack the people.” Holy SHIT Pythor! What a dick move! And the fact that its his former second-in-command that comes to offer the people refuge is so good!

“That was ALL YOU’VE GOT!?” It sure was, but these ninjas are the masters of asspulls so watch yourself.

Okay now we’re getting to the scene. The scene. One of the best scenes in the show, and I am prepared to die on this hill. Actually, I’m prepared to kill on this hill. Because this scene is just fantastic, and has stuck with me vividly for years, even after I fell off the show back around season seven. If you had come up to 16-year-old Raven and told her to quote this scene, she probably could have done so.

“Support me friends, for one last time.” Never does Zane ever think of this as anything less than a group effort. Even here, he’s asking for their support! And they do what little they can!

Then this GOAT just fuckin grabs the armor and demands “Let! My! Friends! Go!” His voice cracking, as the music swells! The way he’s writhing makes him look like he’s in genuine agony but pushing through it anyway!

“Go where, doomed ninja?”

Then they show his fucking heartbeat! It’s robotic, but also very much so a human pulse! Because Zane is as alive as anyone! Then his faceplate falls off!

And you can see the Overlord’s expression change here as he starts running calculations, getting worried!

“The golden weapons are too powerful for you to behold! Your survival chance is ZERO!” “This isn’t about numbers. It’s about family!” What can I even say about this exchange? First of all, the Overlord is appealing to Zane’s survival, rather than his chance of SUCCESS. In all likelihood, he KNOWS that Zane is a threat right now, because that robot is channeling the power of his own armor. But Zane is not swayed by his own chance of survival.

Killing the moment a bit, looks like Zane is programmed in some wacky ass C++. Wonder if Dr. Julien could help me with my Arduino homework. Never was good with stepper motors. Anyway back to drama.

Then the ninja desperately wondering why Zane isn’t letting go, but Wu realizes. “He’s protecting us!”

“I! Am! A Nindroid! And Ninja! Never quit! Go ninja, Go!” There’s so much here. It’s like when he found his true potential on an infinitely larger scale. The Overlord will not hurt his friends, because he knows who he is: A nindroid that never quits, built to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

Also, “Go ninja, go!” Amazing how the addition of one extra “go” completely changes the mood. It sounds desperate, like he’s telling himself to go, to take the plunge, to give everything up, and he DOES that.

Then he just. Fuckin. Goes. What I imagine is happening here is that he is directly powering himself with the golden armor, channeling the Overlord’s golden power THROUGH his heart to boost his own elemental power. Completely frying himself in the process, but able to literally produce the power to kill Satan. 

“No Zane! No!” It being Jay, the one often considered the meek one, to be the first to run after Zane. As Wu has to force them all away, because he can’t lose all his ninja.

Then. The music change. The MUSIC CHANGE. This song. Let me tell you something. I just recently got back into Ninjago. And I was getting caught up on what I missed. Well, I was listening to a music compilation, and suddenly, this song started playing. I Ratatouilled so hard, y’all. I had a flashback to Zane having flashbacks, because this music is absolutely stunning.

His heartbeat plays over the music. The sounds of the fight fade away. As he recounts his time with his brothers. His time meeting his father again, even if it was for only a few short months.

“There’s something special about you Zane.” Cut to Pixal. Then cut to him smiling.

“I know who I am!”

“You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves.” That’s it. That is the microcosm of Zane’s character. He protects people. He protects his family. And Zane can die happily if it means he has fulfilled that directive.

As he flatlines. Holy hell. I cannot stress enough the impact this had on me as a child.

One final (for now) NOOOOO from the Overlord, then it’s all quiet. The tower light goes out. The manhole freezes over. The robots break. It’s eerily soft compared to what was just happening. Like a single, soft exhale of breath.

Kai looks at a damaged “New Ninjago City” sign. This is symbolism.

And Cole finds a piece of Zane’s body! Is this the only surviving piece? It must be, and that’s devastating! Granted, a kids show probably can’t show what is essentially a corpse, but they don’t even have anything to bury!

Him comforting Nya as she starts to sob. Jay just looking away softly. And Borg. “I used to think technology would be the answer to all of our problems.”

Then it cuts to the memorial.

“Then I saw technology invent new problems. Devastating problems. And then, a Nindroid named Zane saved us all. He was the perfect balance between us and technology.” And nothing encapsulates that better than the heartbeat from a few seconds ago. The heartbeat of a human contained in a machine.

“Technology can improve our lives, but so can people.” The fact that they don’t fully demonize technology, which would be hypocritical seeing as Zane is technology. Instead, it’s all about balance!

“Our city will find its way again, but this time, with Zane as our compass.” Couple things here. First off. That this takes place in a park rather than an urban sprawl. Second, that the photo of Zane is of his season 1 outfit is nice! And that they’re going to look to Zane as an example of what technology should be.

And Zane gets a statue! I love this a lot. I love that it shows up in later seasons. Later on, Zane says he doesn’t need a statue. But it’s not even just about Zane, it’s for the people to remember Zane and his sacrifice by. To remember the mistakes that he fixed so that they don’t repeat them. The Titanium Ninja, a strong metal to act as a foundation for their future. It’s not complex symbolism, but it’s still extremely effective! No wonder I lost my mind at age 12.

Then his falcon sits on his shoulder, with the leitmotif playing! Agh! Just stab me in the heart already, show!

“So, what happens after this?” “I don’t know.” “And I don’t care. Today’s about Zane.” I have a lot of thoughts about this. First up, Jay completely not acknowledging the love triangle right now. He doesn’t care about that, because today IS about Zane. It’s so humanizing. And next up, we know what happens after this. In their grief, the ninja fracture. It’s tragic, but they’re all so devastated by their grief that they don’t know how to carry on together. This is a recurring thing in the show. When Nya becomes the sea, the team splits up. When Lloyd thought his friends died in Sons of Garmadon, he nearly gave up everything. For better or worse, these ninja need each other, they are a very tight-knit family. I wonder if the new series can touch on how they deal with being separated from each other on longer terms. Either way, this family loves each other so much, and I love that,

Kai being the one to give a eulogy. Literally I could type out that entire speech and point to line after line just being like Look! Look at this line! It’s amazingly eloquent, especially coming from Kai. Out of all the ninja, he’s always been the most family-oriented. He’s powered by brotherhood, and Zane continues to power him. We see this in season 4, when he visits Zane’s statue, that he still thinks about Zane every single day, still looking to him for guidance. He has so much love and respect for his family, but also can’t cope with yet another loss in his life.

Wu blinking rapidly as he ducks his head!! Dude is holding back tears big time.

.Dareth sobbing! He loves those funky ninjas too!

“Ninja never quit, and ninja will never be forgotten! Wherever you are Zane, you’ll always be one of us.” As it STARTS TO SNOW! AGH! This is so good!

All of Zane’s flashbacks before it’s revealed that he lived on in the Digiverse! At least before Ronin stole him, lol. Well either way, Pixal moving from grief to hope as she realizes he’s alive! Holy shit! I’d like to draw attention to her speech from crystallized. “Long ago, in a different battle, you gave up half your power source to save my life. Ever since that moment, I felt things I’ve never felt before. I felt love. For you.” Pairing these two moments together just... It hits so hard.

Then the fucking MUSIC. The FUCKING MUSIC! It is triumphant and glorious and a CELEBRATION.

“Are we compatible now?” Holy hell, what an ending.

No wonder this did irreparable damage to my brain chemistry. No wonder I was never normal again. This absolutely DESTROYED me as a kid, and I think it still holds up as one of the most emotionally impactful series of scenes in the show. The beginning is really awesome, the fights are fun, the characterization is stellar, and the death scene is damn near flawless. Is the episode nonsensical and a bit meandering at times? Well, yes, it is. The entire season is all over the place. But this episode still works SO well. I’d say it’s probably top five, easy.

It was something I never considered possible, as a kid. This is coming off season 2, which was pretty Lloyd-centric. I never thought we’d get such an amazing tribute to my, at the time, favorite character. I never thought he’d get such a moment in the spotlight to be as amazing as he was. Granted, he’s since had PLENTY of deaths to call his own, but this one remains the most impactful to me. This was the first death to REALLY be a death and to REALLY hit home. The only deaths that I’d say even come close are Nya’s death in Skybound (since she didn’t really die in Seabound) and Morro’s death for how brutal it is. Nya becoming the sea was also really good, though, with a beautiful funeral. But this one just...

The Titanium Ninja was a revolution for me as a kid. I had adored this show since the pilot. I had kept up religiously since the pilot. But this was the moment that the show went to a whole different level. And honestly, I think it holds up. Ninjago has a list of issues a mile long. But I just want to celebrate for a moment this episode, and everything it does so, so well.

Anyway, that’s my rant about an episode that I really love. I may do this again with episodes like Son of Lily. Because I love this stupid little show so much, guys. I grew up with it, and its always been a big part of my life. Episode 7, Tick Tock, was like, the biggest plot twist of the universe to me as a kid. It was what made Zane my favorite character, and got me so invested in him in the first place. To see Ninjago use that to make a genuinely fantastic character arc, then to use that as the foundation for the fourth season, was absolutely brilliant, and my life is genuinely better for having gotten to enjoy such a show as a kid and now as an adult. This show isn’t some life-changing revolution, but it makes me so happy, and I hope this rant helps illuminate a little bit of why.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[queerwhohatesithere]

everyone said don’t go that way so of course to that i said i think i’ll go that way

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[s0fter-sin]

something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line

“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”

“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"

but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.

he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.

his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.

ghost doesn't let him.

"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."

soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.

he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."

the ice in soap's eyes fractures.

ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.

“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

[skunkes]

[turtleblogatlast]

Imagine little Turtle Tot Leo practicing his best Lou Jitsu grin in the mirror during the nights he can’t sleep. He’s gotta be just like his idol, after all! So he masters the art of the cocky grin, slowly perfecting his imitation.

Eventually that confident grin becomes his default one, and the quiet, happy smile that he’s born with, the one that he first greets his father with, that one is the rarity.

Until the invasion happens. Until he throws himself into the Prison Dimension. Until he’s beaten within an inch of his life and he’s holding onto his last remnant of his family through sheer willpower alone.

In that moment, looking at the photo of the ones he loves, that quiet smile comes back.

[sysig]

Chewtoy (Patreon)

[mmmairon]

Hi mairon! I love the self insert comfort you did it was so cute! Would you be able to make some more? Possibly diluc taking care of someone like the girl you did in the last one — maybe putting them to bed because I’m suffering w my insomnia right now 😅 if you can’t dw!

oh, to be tucked snugly into bed by Diluc Ragnvindr

[kittyandco]

does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[seance]

the power is on, the guillotine hums / my back's to the wall - go on, let it fall

[haunted-xander]

Wholeheartedly