#ever since i had my own daughter ive been in shock that i had to grow up like that

[rowanisawriter]

saw a post that women historically haven’t been allowed to have leisure time and it reminded me of this one time when i was like 16 and my mom invited every tom dick and harry in our family to our apartment for evening tea. i spent the whole entire time brewing tea pouring tea bringing out glasses bringing them back into the kitchen passing out cookies passing out cakes cutting cakes throwing out wrappers refilling tea brewing more tea, near the end of the night one of my cousins told me to sit down. i sat. and i drank a little tea. and my mom looked at me through the crowd of cousins and uncles and her face was like. shocked? that i should sit and have some tea after all these hours looking after others and making sure they all had what they needed until someone told me to go sit down. what exactly did she want this event to teach me? all i learned that night was to just sit down

[songsofadelaide]

Hey!! just wanna say ive been obsessed w ur works and was wondering if u can do a hoshina drabble/ fic based on P1harmony’s Fall in Love Again (aaaaa pref if past/present can be soichiro & hoshina orrr narumi & hoshina) hust an idea that popped in my mind cause the song kept showing up in my fyp!! thank u so muchh!!

Anon you and your big brain! 🤩 I'll have you know I love the angst between the Hoshina brothers so I might as well! Since you've given me the idea. ✨

✧ Fall In Love Again - P1Harmony

candor — another side story to radiant point. | refulgence

There was a time when you thought of Soichiro as your first love. There was a time when you thought he would turn your way.

After being fed the fairy tale of true love time and again and having eaten of it until its flavours were bland in your mouth, you soon came to realise that all you were fed was false hope. Soichiro was his family's ultimate incarnation, while you were but a paltry offering by yours. Though paltry you were, you were all your family had. Your beauty was their pride and joy, but it certainly wasn't enough to win the heart of your supposed betrothed.

As you grew up alongside the Hoshina brothers, it became clearer to you that it would have made more sense to have been offered to the second son instead. Not only were you two closer in age, but you also shared a deeper friendship with him— the kind that made you forget all about the existence of his older brother, and what his existence meant for your own.

Soichiro did turn your way. Only you were too preoccupied to notice.

The older boy was evidently surprised at how you were able to hold yourself against him during one of your sparring sessions. It had only been a matter of months since you started swordsmanship training under your father but you had a mastery of the basics now and even had a certain flair for precision. But regardless of your exponential growth, you were still outclassed by him, and he toppled over you as easily as kicking a potted plant to the ground.

"Nice try, beggar princess. Let me tell ya somethin' while we're here," Soichiro stated as he turned his back on you. "You're leavin' yourself wide open in other areas, but other than that, your stance is perfect."

He didn't want to admit that there was a beauty in your ferocity, too. Not with his little brother watching you both so intently. He'll settle with berating you until you've had enough. It's not like you were going anywhere, anyway. As far as he knew, his family owned you now.

That time you thought of Soichiro as your first love was a joke.

It was only because you fed into your family's narrative that a daughter like you needed a husband like him. As you grew older, the prospects of him ever becoming a tolerable husband dimmed by the day. He acknowledged your skill now, but he was still an awful person at the end of the day. Awful in that he had no sense of delicacy at all, even when it came to you, who was supposed to be his wife in the future.

Now that you were sixteen, the fairy tale was over, or the curse had been lifted, and you finally decided for yourself that you wanted no part in Soichiro's plans for you in the future, whatever those may be.

So you did what he thought you would never have the courage to do.

"I thank you and your family for your kindness to me, and I apologise, oji-san, but I don't want to marry Soichiro-san," you stated as you prostrated yourself before the Hoshina patriarch. "As much as I would have loved to be part of your family, Soichiro-san's attitude leaves much to be desired."

Was he hearing things right? He was the one who had attitude problems?

Soichiro sat there in complete shock at your declaration, but Soshiro was even more surprised at it unfolding. Their father didn't look too nonplussed by your statement. He knew that his eldest son was a little devil who thrived in discouraging both you and his younger brother, only for you to show him results time and again.

He also knew that Soshiro challenged his older brother for your hand, not just once, but more times than he can remember. Perhaps he can turn you around once more by opening a simple possibility. "Is there nothing that can change your mind? Your family agreed to an engagement, after all."

"I..."

I want Soshiro.

But you couldn't say it. You were in no position to make any demands even if they were freely offered to you. And what would Soshiro say about that? He was more than happy to be your friend, but would he ever accept you as his bride?

No, you've done enough dreaming for the last ten years.

"I'm afraid not, oji-san."

It was only when you left their estate that the brothers spoke once more until it eventually evolved into another duel— like the wild beasts that they were.

"You should have said something back then!" Soichiro exclaimed between his slashes and parries. "Why didn't you ask her and tell her to stay? That you would have treated her better than I ever would? I mean, you already do, but—"

"Are you kidding?! You already ran her out of the family! She already made it clear that she wants nothing to do with us! What makes you think she'd want to stay here?!" Soshiro shot back at him, mirroring his speed and movements until they were all but a single blur of swords and wind.

This blockhead second son knew nothing, of course. Soichiro was annoyed beyond sense at how dense his little brother was. Was he the only one who saw the smile that lit your face every time Soshiro welcomed you to their estate? Was he the only one who noticed how sweet your laughter sounded when it was Soshiro at the other end of the joke? Or how you once said in confidence that you preferred Soshiro's presence over his own because he was unbearable to be with, even though it was all his doing?

Soichiro got his just deserts and it annoyed him to no end. Because once more, he faced the prospect of being second best to his little brother, who grew in strength and skill with each passing day and even managed to win your heart all the same.

"Hgk—!"

But it was his brother's blade on his neck now. Soshiro got the one-up against him without any handicaps this time. His usually boisterous little brother withdrew his sword and quietly stared down at him. Soshiro did not look at him with a sense of superiority, but that of revulsion. The very same emotion in your eyes when you bade him farewell that day.

"I'm going to ask for her in my own time. You better not get in my way when that happens."

Your promotion to Third Division Platoon Leader was met with quiet celebration. Many of your fellow team members rejoiced in the opportunity to work under you this time as their leader. You were known to give out measured and concise orders that allowed every single one of them to seamlessly weave through the field and get the job done with minimum risks and casualties.

When Captain Ashiro congratulated you and presented you with your badge in her office, she let you in on a little secret only she and a handful of other superior officers were aware of. "When you first took the exams, you received a commendation from Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division."

Huh. You heard her right once. "I did not know that."

Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division vouched for your skills. If this was his way of making amends for his terrible treatment of you in the past, it was a pretty gesture, but still far too late.

"In his recommendation, he detailed how your family was a close associate of theirs and how you learned swordsmanship alongside him and our Vice Captain."

"That's true, Captain. Much of my skill was honed under their roof."

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you suddenly shift from Kendo to Fencing?"

Your Captain's question elicited a small laugh from your lips. "You might think it a petty reason, Captain, but I changed sword arms just so I could be better than them at something."

You gently touched the shiny new badge clipped to the collar of your formal regalia. "Soshiro... I mean Vice Captain Hoshina is someone I looked up to very much when we were children. If I may be so bold to say that he inspired me to take up swordsmanship."

"Hmm. I see," came Mina's short but understanding reply to you. "Just as Hoshina is important to me on the battlefield, I'll also be counting on you to carve open a path for me and everyone else."

"Of course, Captain, ma'am!" You said resolutely, followed by a crisp salute that matched the sharpness of your outfit today.

"Will you marry me?"

Soshiro asked you that question in the dead quiet of the night as he held you close in his arms. The silence of your quarters and the stillness of the rest of the base made it feel like you were the only two people in the world.

"Yes," you said with a small swallow of saliva to wet your mouth. "As long as you aren't gonna be like your brother."

"I'm nothin' like him now, am I?" He chuckled at your assumption. "If I wanted to be like him, I would've chased you out of our home the moment I saw ya."

"Mm. I suppose you're right about that," you nodded at him. You contentedly sank into his touch when he moved to cup your warm cheek in his hand. "You're nothing like him at all."

"Good to know. That's high praise comin' from you."

As another comfortable silence lingered over your tired figures, a memory of the past crossed your mind. "Do you remember that time I told your father I didn't want to marry your brother?"

That day was one he would never forget any time soon. "As clear as day."

"I nearly begged for you instead," you told him with a soft laugh.

"You should have. I would've been there beggin' right next to ya!"

"In the end, everything worked out for this beggar princess," you said with a small sigh. "Gosh, I still can't imagine myself as your brother's wife. It kinda gives me the creeps."

A bout of tender laughter left Soshiro's lips this time. He raised your hand to his face and pressed a soft kiss on your palms, near the range of calluses you had from gripping your sabre. "You don't have to imagine anything other than our future together."

You mirrored his actions and planted a similarly gentle kiss on his cold knuckles, your breath blooming warmth into his fingers. He weaved his fingers into yours, as though sharing that little glow with you "Of course. For as long as we're fighting for it."

✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here

[tsumu]

Nightmares

Yui followed the specific instructions that was relayed to her from her father by Yuto.

Go to the disclosed location.

Go there alone.

Don’t carry any weapon.

With every step, her anxiety heightens. What’s going to happen? Will she be okay? Will tomorrow come for her? Yui was terrified and shaking nervously. She finally arrived at a quaint little house in the middle of nowhere. The roof was covered with the whitest snow her dark hazel eyes had ever laid upon on. The pathway towards the door had traces of footsteps which alarmed her because it was proof that her father was alive and merely inches away from her.

As she arrived at the door, Yui took a deep breathe and knocked on it.

“H-hello.. Is anyone home?” she said timidly.

The door swung open and right before her was an intimidating looking man. His figure towered Yui and his arms were decorated by alluring tattoos that signalled his previous membership in the Yakuza.

“Yui. I have been expecting you. Please come in.” the man spoke.

Yui froze.

“Aw come on, don’t worry I wont hurt you.” he motioned for to enter the house.

Talking off her shoes, she entered the house and was greeted by the smell of warm charcoal burning by the fireplace. It was a beautifully decorated traditional Japanese house. Nothing that one would expect from a former Yakuza boss.

The mysterious man led her to a room where she could see a large a garden that was blanketed in beautiful white snow.

It was beautiful and Yui was in awe. This is how she exactly pictured to be the house of her dreams.

“Beautiful view isn’t? It will be yours soon?” an unknown voice boomed.

Yui turned around and saw a frail old looking old man on a wheelchair. He had an IV drip beside him which indicates his declining health.

“Wont you come sit?” the old man gestured towards the floor cushion. Separating the two was a medium sized wooden table. Suddenly, more tough looking men came into the room with a cups, a pot of tea and some traditional Japanese snack.

Yui watched everything in awe.

“Please have a sip. I made sure to serve the finest blend since my only daughter is coming to visit me.” he said while smiling gently at Yui.

“Thank you.” Yui sheepishly replied.

“So I am assuming you are here because of your dreams right?”

Yui nodded.

“And that person, told you to kill me right?” the old man bluntly said.

Yui couldn’t hide her shock at those words.

“H-how do you know?” she asked.

“There has never been a moment in which I am not watching over you my dear daughter. From your first days of being able to walk and when you graduated university, I have witnessed everything. Being the daughter of a yakuza comes with many risks”

“I have always made sure that there were no obstacles in your life. That you lived an mundane but peaceful life.” he continued.

“That man you are seeing? Aki? He’s actually the grandson of a former ally of mine that I had to eliminate.”

“I suggest that you stop seeing him if you want to live the next day.” spoke the man calmly.

Yui’s eyes widened.

“But I understand that you might not even believe me because after all..” he paused and glanced at the scenery outside.

“I am a nothing but a terrible human and father who had abandon his own child.”

Soon tears were rolling down Yui’s cheeks.

“Did you dream of Yuko last night? The girl who looks like you but from the other universe?” the old man asked.

“Yuko?”

“Ah she never mentioned her name to you? Well her name is Yuko. Did you talk to her last night in her dreams?”

“No. She didn’t appear in my dreams last night.” Yui replied.

“Hmm. I guess they got her already. She’s probably going to be executed as we speak. She got caught by the supreme leader yesterday.”

Yui immediately stood up in horror and disbelief. Her tears were long gone, anger has fuel her every bone but she was still shaking.

“H-how do you know all this?” Yui asked suspiciously.

“I told you, I have been watching your every single move since you were born my dear. There is nothing that you know that I don’t.’’ the old man boasted. He immediately approached Yui in his wheelchair and placed a gun in her hand.

Yui immediately backed away and shook her head.

“W-what are you doing?” she nervously questioned.

“Well.. let’s end it everything right now, right her. Let’s liberate you from your suffering.” he said nonchalantly.

While holding Yui’s hand, he shifted the gun pointing towards his forehand.

“You have every right to end my life. My dear child I was the root of all your suffering.”

Yui’s eyes were trembling, unable to control her tears. She was feeling overwhelmed.

Her father knew that she was coming her all along. She didn’t know that the reason why her life was so boring was for her own safety. She didn’t know that her father was watching her from afar.

Is it really fair for her to kill her remaining blood-related relative? Will she really do it? If she doesn’t do it, Yuko will be dead. But that would also lead to her own father’s own death. In the midst of her troubling thoughts, Yui sob uncontrollably.

Suddenly, a loud sound pierced through their eyes. Almost, immediately the sound of a body collapsing raided echoed throughout the room.

Soon, the room was bathing in a velvet pool of blood.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw pedo, confusion, family.

sometimes i feel like my dad may be a pedo. not that i caught him with any porn of that sort, his stash was completely adult related when i used to see it scattered around the house and what not. i was hyper as a child and unfortunately viewed such things every time. he's never done anything to me that i know of, except once he roughly spanked me as a teen which i felt very violated from in a bad way type of touch feeling. i was pretty confused.. they also shamed me for being sexual (getting caught in school making jokes with a friend and drawing dicks n writing things about teachers) which they ended up seeing and ofc i felt guilt bc they were disappointed in me and shamed me, banned me from watching shows and what not. couldn't even have a phone bc they didn't trust me. this was up til 11 years old to 14.

ive been sexualised my whole life. shaming me for wearing clothes that expose my figure, I was only 14 when an uncle apparently commented on me saying how im dressed inappropriate bc he can see my shape.. mind you, i was fully clothed head to toe. i didn't know about this until my parents mentioned it in anger, implying its my fault basically. yeah u get the gist of it. my whole life ive felt uncomfortable. getting looks from people and even my own family.

i remember being in my early 20s my mom mentioned this to me bc I said how my dad would be harsh. she said its bc of ur actions, also holding what i drew and wrote in school still against me. i was only 11/12?? but what's even crazy, she said i wrote those things about my own dad. yes. my mind was shocked how she could even say such things. and yet she believed that even tho I said it wasn't even about anyone except a teacher. so, i know my mom holds jealously and resentment of this. probably thinking ill steal her man vibe, which is gross. I felt extremely gaslight, I always have with them.

since their messed up minds think that idk if that's why he behaves weird with me. i know he's a pervert but this is just. there was a show we would watch and he was very obsessed with the girl. (She was 17, same age as me) and i found that so bizarre. my mom simply didn't gaf. I even said its wrong but no one cares. his obsession was unhealthy, finding pics of her and searching up explicit scenes of her which I found on his search.

its like its so normalised. she's like the age of ur daughter wtf. ig since then its just been confusing for me bc I've been gaslight badly. idk if i ever got abused by him bc i don't really remember such happening. i only had a sexual dream with him once which was strange. he does take offguard pics of me which I hate and tell him to delete but he never does. he gives me weird looks and i hate dressing up bc of it. they make me feel ashamed of myself and disgusted. I feel like a whore, like im begging for this.

I'm glad I haven't had any weird touches or anything, but its still uncomfortable with the energy that lingers around. like im always reminded when they give me certain looks esp my mom. i feel like im going insane just thinking of everything. i wish things were normal but they really ain't are there

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through.

I can see how being shamed for being sexual or making sexual jokes may have influenced the way you view your own sexuality, especially at such a formative age. It's saddening and frustrating to hear that your family seems to normalize victim blaming. It's gross that your uncle made that comment, not only because you were a child, but because it implies he was looking to see your "shape". The comments that your mom made towards you are not okay either. The things that you found out about your dad are also quite disturbing and predatory.

Even if you dad hasn't touched you or anything like that, he still does some harmful things and it's valid to be upset or traumatized by that. I think a lot of this, especially with the example of your uncle, could count as sexual harassment.

It makes sense to be uncomfortable with the environment that your family creates. Your wish for things to be normal is completely understandable, and I'm sorry you've been having to put up with this. Please know that there's nothing you could've done to deserve being abused, and you don't deserve to be disgusted at yourself for things that aren't your fault.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Crimson Ties (Bela Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village

Rating: T for language and mild medical drama

Warnings: Typical Vampire shenanigans

Genre: Hurt + comfort

Summary: Bela is somewhat unprepared to deal with a soulmate who has no clue about her condition, her family, or any of the village's secrets. Thankfully, her sister Cassandra is more than willing to be a bad example. Also there's some fluff.

Notes: For reference, each of my soulmate stories take place in their own contained timeline, since they each involve different types of soulmates. So in this one, Cass doesn't currently have a soulmate.

Previous Chapters: 1: Stem the Flow

2: Tangled Strands

A gentle humming fills the space around you, as fingers slowly run through your hair. As far as you can tell you had fallen back asleep, for several hours, and you were just now waking back up. No longer holding you down, your soulmate is curled up next to you. There’s still a needle in your arm, much to your irritation, but now you can finally see what it’s connected to: An IV for a transfusion. Explains why I’m feeling so much better than before, you think. Then you’re turning your head to the other side, eager to finally get a good look at your soulmate. Instantly you’re blushing, tongue tying itself into a knot, because wow are you lucky.

“Feeling any better?” She asked, as soon as your gaze met hers. You try to stutter out a confirmation, but you’re too distracted by the soft curve of her smile to speak, and barely even manage a nod. That beautiful smile grows wider in response. “Good. I couldn’t stand the thought of you suffering more, after what you’ve already been through.” Now her smile fades, and she looks away for a few moments. Watching it makes your heart ache. So you swallow the lump in your throat, willing yourself to relax, before trying a little comforting of your own.

“I am safe now, am I not? Moreso, we have too much to talk about for us to dwell on the ill circumstances of our introduction. Let us cherish this time, in respite, with our hearts open wide to one another,” you said, donning your softest smile. Somehow your words fulfill their purpose, and your soulmate is once again grinning. Slowly she leans forward to rest her forehead against yours. Then she’s speaking, voice as smooth as the sheets you lay on.

“You are right, of course. I simply wish I could have saved you sooner,” she replied, tone betraying the sadness that her expression otherwise hid. Before you can protest, she continues talking, and you soon forget all about your qualms. “To think I don’t even know your name yet… nor you mine, I suppose. Let’s remedy that, yes? I am Bela Dimitrescu.” Something about her last name feels familiar to you, but not to the point of clear recognition. Instead of inquiring, you return her favor, giving her your own name. She repeats it back a few times, letting the syllables roll off her tongue, and you feel your heart skip a few beats. “A lovely name for a lovely soul, perfectly paired.”

A pause, followed by Bela reaching out to examine your IV. Following her gaze, you turn to the metal hook adjacent to the bed, where a blood bag hangs. Only a few drops remain inside. Just as when you first awoke, Bela gives a soft hum, then rises into a sitting position. Your first instinct is to copy the motion, and you’re relieved when (this time) she doesn’t push you back down. Both of you quietly inch your hands closer until they’re laid on top of each other.

“I wish I knew more about medicine, but unfortunately my family is more experienced in the creation of wounds than the treatment of them,” Bela said, scowling. Confused, you tilt your head at a slight angle, watching her with interest. Am I supposed to know who she’s referring to? My memories of the past couple days are still hazy, you think. “Do… do you remember how you ended up in the dungeon? I know you wanted to speak of happier things, and we can, soon. It’s just… Knowing how you arrived here may help me deal with the consequences of freeing you. Mother will be dreadfully upset that I’ve interrupted a draining, even if we are soulmates.”

“Wait, are you saying…? The intimidating giantess who strung me up and attempted to bleed me dry… is your mother?” You asked, jaw nearly dropping to the floor. This was an unexpected development, for sure.

“You didn’t know?” Bela replied, eyes going wide for a moment. Clearly she wouldn’t have said anything if she realized you weren’t already aware. Suddenly the tension in the room is palpable, with an uncomfortable silence overtaking the two of you. In the moment, you cannot even bring yourself to look at Bela, too stunned by this new knowledge. Eventually she breaks the silence, voice sounding unsure for once. “I realize that this is a lot to take in, if you need time to process it, I… I can go. But you need to understand that our situation is far more complicated than it might appear. We cannot survive without the blood of others- it is what sustains us when nothing else can.”

Now you’re staring at her like she’s crazy, and she’s standing up, moving to the other side of the room. She draws back a curtain, gazing out into the snow covered hills. Every muscle in your body is urging you to run while she’s distracted. Thread of fate be damned, this went far beyond anything you had ever imagined having to deal with. You come so close to ripping the IV right out of your arm. But a gentle tug on your soul string makes you pause, remembering all the times this bond gave you hope in dark times. Had she felt the same way, all these years? What had she gone through, in this absurd castle, on the very edges of civilization? You pull on the red thread, feeling a wave of composure wash over you.

“It appears there is much I need to learn. But is that not the very nature of our connection? We know, simply, that we are bound to each other, though we know not what shapes our souls take so that we might put them together, nor even what roles we must play. I cannot say that I understand your plight, my dear, but I will try, as is my obligation, and my honor,” you said, wishing you could hold her, and cursing your IV. As soon as the first word leaves your mouth, Bela is turning around, watching you with a bittersweet expression. Once you’re done she’s moving closer, as if reading your mind, extending a hand to cup your cheek. Then she leans forward to press a brief kiss to your forehead. “Oh, how I have longed for this- to be with you, to get to know you.”

“As did I,” she murmured. You can’t help but lean into her touch, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment. “Perhaps I should introduce you to my family? I imagine you’ll be needing breakfast anyway, and bringing human food back to my quarters would raise more suspicion than I’d like.” Well, the moment couldn’t last forever, could it?

“Only if you promise that your mother won’t suspend me by my wrists again. Or by any other part of me. Shall we simply put suspension off the table altogether?” You asked, half teasing. To be entirely honest, you were equally worried about Bela’s sisters. Well, the people you had heard other prisoners whispering about, who were the daughters of the giantess, and by connecting a few dots were also, presumably, Bela’s sisters. Apparently they preferred to play with their food. Unless, of course, Bela was one of the daughters you had heard about, and would have easily torn into you if not for your connection. Let’s not dwell on that concept, you think, glad to be distracted by your soulmate.

“I will not let anyone harm you anymore, my beloved. My mother would not stand so firmly in the way of my happiness,” Bela reassured, though you detected a hint of uncertainty in her tone. Still, there wasn’t much you could do other than trust her. “Now, let me take care of your bandages, then we’ll head downstairs…”

---------------------------------

“Who the fuck is this?” An unfamiliar voice asked, as you meandered down the corridor, arm around Bela for support. As soon as she hears the person speak, your soulmate is freezing in place, casting a worried glance over her shoulder. When you turn as well, you spot someone dressed almost identically to Bela. However, the woman wears a yellow pendant, as opposed to a red one, and her hair is a dark brown. It feels safe to assume that she’s one of the sisters you’ve heard about. Which understandably makes you nervous, to the point where you almost want to hide behind Bela. Instead, you stand tall, attempting to seem unfazed by either her presence or her vulgarity.

“Mind your manners, Cassandra,” Bela hissed, taking more of an aggressive stance than you had anticipated. “This, dear sister, is my soulmate. And if you even think about harming them, or getting in our way, I will tear you apart.” While you’re downright shocked at the intensity of Bela’s statement, her sister doesn’t look at all impressed, and eyes you with minimal interest. Better than looking at you with hatred, right? Apparently not, as Bela moves to stand between the two of you, eyes narrowed. There’s a clear stiffness in her posture that leaves you anxious. Cassandra seems to notice it as well, and laughs, before taking a few steps in your direction. Then your soulmate mimics the movement, forcing you to do so as well.

“They’re human,” Cassandra snapped, pausing to sniff the air and scowl. “Here I thought your soulmate would have to be special, if they’re to compare to your ego. You’re disappointed, aren’t you? Having to settle for this.” With that she shifts, flesh writhing, making your stomach churn as you watch her disintegrate into a cloud of… flies? What the hell is wrong with this family? Can Bela do that too? I hope not, you think. Soon you’re pulled from your thoughts, however, as the swarm circles around you, single insects occasionally surging forward to cut at your skin. But Bela is grabbing you by the sleeve and tugging you to her chest, moving against a wall so that her body shielded your own. Your eyes clamp shut as you shake in her arms. When the buzzing stops, it is quickly replaced with cruel laughter. “That fragile, hmm? I can’t wait to see what mother thinks. See you at breakfast, sister!”

Then the two of you are alone, still pressed against the wall, staying still until the sound of footsteps fade. You’re stunned, unsure of how to react. The fact that a few drops of blood roll down your cheek only makes things worse. Still, Bela managed to prevent you from getting too hurt, and the few wounds on your body are negligible. Ever filled with gratitude, you hold her close as you try to stutter out a few sentences.

“Is she always this hostile, or am I truly not what you had expected? No, pay me no mind, it hardly matters. Thank you for protecting me,” you whispered. In response, Bela gives you a little squeeze, then pulls back enough to wipe the blood from your face. There’s a hint of something odd in her expression, which you interpret to be related to her apparent ‘need for blood’. Thankfully, she is in perfect control, and does not frenzy the same way you had read about fictional vampires doing. But she does hesitate, words dying on her tongue, like there are a thousand things she wants to say, and no words to say them with. “It’s alright, my dear. Let’s just go to breakfast, like we planned, and hope your sister behaves better when supervised.”

Bela nods, quickly, before taking your hand in her own. Whatever awaited you in the dining room, the two of you would be ready. Hopefully.

[wyn-n-tonic]

Golden, Like Daylight -- Part IX

Word Count: 3,087 Warnings: PTSD. Children. Fluff. Angst. Emotions. Dialogue heavy bullshit. Author's Note: Welp... this is it, y'all. I posted the first chapter of this on March 4, 2021, and it's coming to a close today on April 5, 2021, and I'm... a goddamn mess. I'm not ready to let these characters go, both the TF boys and my own character in Leah. I really appreciate all your kindness and encouragement throughout writing this, my whole heart belongs to you. Thank you, I hope you love this as much as I love you.

MASTERLIST | PART: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX

Her room is painted like a sunrise. He remembers the first time he went up there, like it was the first breath he ever took. All rising pinks and melting blues.

He wanted her to feel that freedom from the beginning.

Leah’s hands climb his back, a kiss pressed to the hot skin between his shoulder blades as he dips to pluck his peaceful little girl out of slumber.

“Baby, let her sleep.”

But he’s shaking his head, careful with hers in his hand, “she can sleep later, I need her with me now.”

“Hmm,” she hums, turning him to guide him back to their bedroom, “keep that enthusiasm.”  

Their shuffle is quiet, Luna’s big eyes slipping back to sleep nestled into her fathers shoulder.

He’s been home for over half a year and as he crawls back into bed, baby and wife clinging to him, part of him still can’t believe it. That after everything he told her, she let him stay. That, like tonight, she’s soothed the new nightmares like the old. That he celebrated Christmas with them, Luna’s first.

That he watched her lift herself up and take her first steps. That after all he had done, those first steps were towards him.

That he helped blow out the candles that he helped light, on the cake he helped make for the little girl who has her daddy’s eyes. His dimple. His smile.

One hand splayed across each of their backs, he’s talking to Leah but directing it at Luna when her bright brown eyes open again to find his.

“Hi, baby,” he whispers, Leah’s soft hand falling on his under her small back, “I’m sorry that mama and papa woke you up.”

She reaches a tiny hand up to his face and he melts into the small touch of her, his heart swelling at the unbelievable luck he has in chances granted again and again when a little, “papa,” tumbles forward in the softly lit room.

He feels Leah jump and his eyes snap to hers before they both fall back to Luna, just over one year.

“She just sa—“

“Say it again, baby,” Leah coos, tears spilling over Frankie’s eyes.

She doesn’t understand but as she grabs for him, the small voice repeats, “papa,” and he didn’t know his heart could feel so full despite all the compounding moments of fullness she’s brought to him. That they both have.

He bites his lip while looking into Leah’s glassy eyes and knows that her heart is just as swollen in this moment and all the others.

“The next one’s first word will be mama,” his hand finds the small swell of her lower belly, “I promise.” —————

She presses a coffee cup into his hand before taking a seat across from him on the living room floor, baby toys and blankets strewn across the space between them.

“What happened?”  

He takes a deep breath, finding the words he spoke out loud to his team in Lorea’s mansion, “A serious fuck up.”

“I figured that much, Francisco, but what happened?”

So he tells her and she lets him.

He tells her about the seventeen grand of Santi’s own money. How he promised himself no live fire and let himself and his desperation to give her and Luna and himself the best lead him into shattering his soul again. Ripping it up as life drained from the eyes of his fellow human beings and how he didn’t even have the protection of a flag on his shoulder to ease a semblance of that pain. How even if they were bad guys, they weren’t his bad guys to worry about.

He tells her about the helicopter crash, the result of his own greed for the money and for a lack of conflict led to more loss and conflict. How he doesn’t know if he’s the one who fired first on that village but he knows he fired, an automatic weapon slung across his shoulders as easily as the diaper bag he carries through the grocery store for her.

He tells her about the crumbling mountainside, how all he saw at the bottom looking down was himself never coming home to his girls. How that’s when something within him finally snapped, when he and Will silently decided to take the reigns from Tom and Santi’s hands.

He tells her about the fire, burning hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep warm in the freezing air that wrapped around the Andes. About the gunfire that followed them through the rocks in the morning sun.

About standing over Tom’s dead body, the relief and guilt crashing inside him like a warm front meeting a cold one. How he thinks he’ll feel those both every day that he wakes because, unlike the survivor’s guilt easing through you on active duty at the knowledge that this just happens sometimes, this time was different.

He tells her that, after all of that, he threw millions of dollars down a snowy ravine in the middle of Peru where no one would ever see it again, not even his girls who needed it so much because he realized it wouldn’t be fucking worth it for them to have it if it meant not coming home.

He tells her how he almost shot that kid in the jungle. How he would’ve shot every kid standing between him and the boat to get home to his own.

He tells her that he thinks, at the end of it all, Santiago and his plan ended up doing more damage to that country than not.

She listens intently, focused wholly on him. Her face never breaks but he can see the cogs turning behind her eyes, trying to take it all in. Trying to understand.

“I understand if you want me to leave, if you never want to see me again,” he reaches out for her hand, a shiver of shock running through his spine when she doesn’t pull away from him.

Blinking as the words catch up with her, her head shakes, “I just got you back, Francisco, you promised me you wouldn’t leave again so why the fuck do you think I want you to go now?”

“Because what I did is unforgiv—“

“It’s not, there are terrible men in this world who do worse everyday,” he sees the slight sheen of tears coat her lashes, “and you helped stop one of them.”

“There will be others to take his place,” he says around a sip of his drink, his coffee gone cold in the spaces between all his words.

Her hand gives a squeeze to the one it holds, “there will always be others to take his place.”

His breathing evens out, anchored in his chest by a warmth he doesn’t deserve, “there's something else you need to know.”

He tells her about the five million dollars they were able to make it to the boat with, “we signed it all over to Molly and the girls. Will and Benny and I, we decided to do so while Santi was sleeping. We figured, ya know, at least we were coming home. It wasn’t really money we were losing since it was never ours to begin with, Tom’s family lost everything and they didn’t even know it.”

The tears do come now, streams running down his face, “I couldn’t stop thinking about how close you came to losing everything and not even knowing it too.”

His stunted words around the hiccups in his throat draw Luna’s attention, her babbles reaching out to him the way she tried to soothe Leah’s over the weeks prior. Their attention is on her now, eyes wide as she lifts herself with the couch for leverage.

She toddles one step towards his still shaking body before tumbling forward, his hands dropping the now empty coffee cup and Leah’s hand to catch her.

He pulls her small body close, hiding his face in the crook of her neck to inhale the scent of baby lotion. As she giggles in his ear, he looks up to Leah’s soft face, “the boys and I still took three hundred thousand.” —————

“You're fucking insane,” Deana doesn’t quite whisper into Leah’s ear, “a whole ass baby with another one barely even a year old, have you heard of a condom?”

“How many mimosas did you have already, D?”

Kristyn struggles with her key in the door, a large bag in hand, “judging by the slight slur, I’m going with about three so far.”

“Fuck off, K,” she points, turning back to Leah, “I'm just saying that if that big goofy idiot husband of yours goes on another of his boy’s trips, I will kill him this time.”

Her fingers are still quoting around the air as the threat falls around them, Frankie’s attention at the other end of the room grabbed away from the pureed carrots of Luna’s lunch.

“Well,” Kristyn interjects, holding the bag forward, “that’s why I come bearing the gift of one Benjamin Miller, he couldn’t be here because of a boy’s trip.”

“What do you mean?”

Leah looks back at Frankie, his eyes now turned to the conversation. She sees the pain and confusion there, he didn’t know.

Kristyn follows Leah’s gaze before looking back at the older sister in front of her, “he promised me this was his last one and he’s sorry it had to take place during your baby shower but,“ she holds the bag out again, “he says you’ll like this one.”

“It's not a shower,” Leah rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kristyn interjects, “a sprinkle. Whatever.”

“It’s not even that since, ya know,” she looks down at the tiny bundle in her arms, “he's already here.”

“A birthday present then,” she beams, “Benny says he’ll set it up when he gets home.”

Frankie’s laughter finds them now, choking around the baby food he’s trying to convince his stubborn daughter of—she’s not and she’s learned how to voice that disgust with all thanks given to her Uncle Benny.

“Baby, it’s another military surveillance camera.”

Kristyn laughs, “yeah, our whole house is strung up with them at this point but they come in handy to watch the neighbors since I’m nosy.”

“When did they leave?” His voice is small, a slight worry behind it.

Kristyn lets out a breath, “about four hours ago, he made me promise not to tell you until he was gone.”

He just nods his head, a silent clock beginning to tick in his brain. —————

It’s been two weeks since he heard from Ben or Will.

The boys have been here day in and day out since they came home last year, always were before that and even more so now that all they truly had was each other and the families they were making with and around each other.

Benny ran through Kristyn’s apartment complex screaming her name so loud as he started to bang on her door that he was met with a baseball bat. Now that idiot was going to be his brother because the sight she was met with was one of Benjamin Miller on his knees with a ring in his hands.

They gave them space with the baby’s arrival, small and short visits until Leah felt ready to have them all over again. He spoke to them that morning as he shaved the night’s stubble away, they talked like they were coming by and how they couldn’t get enough of their new nephew. How they were getting him the best present.

Frankie runs his forefinger and thumb along his mustache now, the compromise of facial hair he settled on. He didn’t want his full and sparse beard but he also felt lighter at the way Leah laughed into him with every brush of his lips.

He’s pacing the living room, bouncing the baby as Leah and Luna nap upstairs. There's only silence and the soft gurgling of a newborn when the quiet knock comes.

Already close to the entryway, he closes the distance and whispers a silent prayer to himself. A prayer that this isn’t bad news. That this is Will or Benny, not using their keys out of courtesy to the newness of little life inside his home.

He opens the door and is met with the tired eyes of Santiago Garcia.

“Hey, Frank,” he says. All bravado of his being seeped from him and replaced with, what sounds like, apology.

He adjusts his son in his hold, ushering the shorter man in so the warmth of the house doesn’t keep seeping out, “I thought you were in Australia.”

“Yeah, well,” he turns to face Frankie again as the door closes, “I make some really shit decisions sometimes.”

Frankie scoffs, half a laugh hidden in the sound. He’s not wrong but he’s not exactly right either.

“Can I get you something to drink?” He’s walked through to the kitchen, the shorter man falling in pace beside him, “we’re a dry household right now with the baby and my therapy bu—“

“Nah, Fis-Frank,” he stutters, “just came to talk to you. And Leah. She around?”

“She’s resting but I can pass along a message if I like it.”

Santi reaches into the leather folder he always carries around and produces a booklet, the one from the lawyer in St. John’s.

But different, a different cover and date, a different name stamped across the front.

“The boys sent me to give you this alone, said we needed to talk about a few more things than just this. Said I needed to apologize to you and to your wife, that I owed you that for so much but especially roping you into that shit last year.”

“Water under the bridge,” Frankie replies softly, changing direction to move through to the living room, “I gave up on an apology a long time ago and Leah never expected one, but nobody’s mad at you.”

Frankie carries the bassinet into sight from the kitchen before walking back, “what is this, Pope?”

“It’s your cut, we went back.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re stupid and greedy and we fucked ourselves up getting it in the first place so we figured we’d go back and we figured we fucking owed you.”

Frankie squints at the shorter man, searching his eyes for the hint of a joke he’s not laughing at. There is none. His cold brown stare is dead serious.

“This is my apology to you, Fran—“

“Frankie,” Leah’s voice filters into the room, he can hear her sleepy shuffle as she pads across the carpet now, “did you feed Santiago while I was asleep or should I?”

“I fed him, baby,” he calls over his shoulder.

He looks back at the man who helped shape his life, tears welling in his eyes, and hears Leah talking about ordering Chinese for dinner as she crosses the threshold but he doesn’t hear her. He can’t hear anything over the squeeze around his midsection, Santi’s quiet strength taking all of his air and senses.

He lets go as quickly as he grabbed him, Leah’s presence heavy in the room now and he crosses the room to gather her in his arms, a kiss pressed to each cheek and then her hair. He’s careful not to hug as hard as he had Frankie, conscious of her still healing body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers between them, “for everything I’ve done and everything I wasn’t around for.”

She’s trying to catch her breath, trying not to cry herself, “it's oka—“

“I should’ve been here for you guys.”

Her small hand comes up to pat the curls, a little more gray than a year ago, “you are now.”

He pulls away from her, a hitch in his voice as he says, “can I hold him?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “but you gotta wash your face and hands, no tears or snot on my baby.”

He mumbles to himself about how that makes sense as he moves to the sink, fumbling over the soap in the holder as he shakes with nerves.

She makes her way across the kitchen, wrapping her still sleepy being around that of her wide awake husband. The low lying winter sun is filtering through the windows, bathing everything in soft, warm light.

She sees the golden cover of the booklet on the counter and taps it, “what's this?”

Daylight Family Trust is stamped across in big bold words.

“That was the boy’s trip,” he whispers, “that’s our cut.”

He watches her as she slowly reaches for the document, the one that explains how this all works and looks between the men.

“How much?”

Santi rips a paper towel from the roll, “about thirty-five million.”

Frankie holds her as her knees start to give out but she’s still looking at Santi, she’s still looking for the joke he never made.

“Daylight's your call sign, you know,” he says cooly, “all the wives get one too, did he ever tell you?”

She shakes her head, looking at her husband now and thinking of all the times that very word fell from his lips.

“On our last real deployment,” Pope continues, “he was flying as the sun was setting and the sky was pure gold over the desert—“

Frankie’s eyes never leave hers, arms tight around her now.

“—he said it reminded him of the way the gold flakes in your eyes reflect the sunlight back at him, he called you Daylight until he got home and shed the callsigns altogether.”

“Frankie?”

He presses his lips into her forehead, his hand a heavy weight on her lower back that says, I’m right here.

“Your daughter has the same golden flakes in her eyes, like you, Daylight.”

Frankie runs his thumb along the swell of her cheek, "all I wanted to do last year was get home to you both, all I wanted was to make it right and see that reflection of light back at me through you both again.”

He leans down to softly press his lips to hers before nuzzling his nose into her hair, “our son has them too, the same gold in his eyes, it was the first thing I said to Ben when I walked out of the delivery room.”

"It was the first thing they said to me," Santiago says, "when they got off the plane." 

“Like me?” Her voice is soft, the heaviness of sleep still clinging to her limbs.

“Mmhmm,” Frankie hums, “like Daylight.”

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[loxbbg]

The Lost Girl

Chapter 15

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

"Shit she went limp." Dick check for a pulse. Bruce went into batman mode as soon as his daughter passed out in Tonys arms.

"Master Bruce I don't think its that pressing she just hasn't eaten she needs something in her body. Jason get an Iv. Damian I need you to watch your sister call your father or her father if she wakes up when the I.V gets empty put a new one. Mr. Stark you and Master Bruce will talk about your situation but consider Skylers point of view in the case please." Alfred gave orders Jason took Skyler to her room Dick following behind him Damian went to the cave to get the supplies moving them to his sisters room. Tim went to the bat cave to see what he can do if what happened to his sister is in anyway directed to her powers. Bruce and Tony stood face to face in a glare down.

"For goodness sakes you are grown men, put what ever anger and resentment toward this whole  situation. Your daughter is probably really stressed trying to wrap her head around this. Her mother abandoned her and her biological father had no idea of her existence. You need to think of a way to fix this for your daughter. On top of that her mother hasn't done anything about the situation. So she needs both her fathers so please act like grown men for your own daughters sake." Alfred had gotten sick of the mens petty behavior. They acted ask if she was something to fight over rather than a person.

" Okay Alfred. Stark why don't we go into my office and talk about what's best for Skylers sake." Bruce and Tony began walking towards the office but Alfred had enough with Bruce not taking his daughter in consideration and dragging Tony who knew nothing about his own daughter and is trusting the person who knows her best as long as he gets to know her and spend some time with her.

"No! You don't decide what's best for her, you come up with things you can compromise with then you talk about it with her." The men stopped hand on the nob of the door.

"Okay Alfred I promise we'll keep everything into consideration." Tony said pushing Bruce into the room. When the door closed Alfred shook his head praying to whom ever was up there that they don't kill each other. He ran off to check on Skyler and Jason. He walked up the flight of stairs till he reached the third floor. He walked up down the hallway till he got to the last door of children's bedroom floor. He opened the door to see Jason sitting opposite of Skylers bed. Damian fixing the IV in Skyler and Peter who he didn't hear come in, sitting the opposite side of Damian holding her hand that looked extremely pale almost transparent.

"How is she doing?"

"Drake needs to bring the monster to see but she's breathing thankfully. But there no type of progress she's still limp and not responding to anything." Tim came rushing in with the monitor. Damian took it from his hands hooking it up to Skyler. Her heartbeat was constant every thing was ok with her.

"What do we do now Alfred?" Peter whispered.

"We just let her wake up. Her Fathers are currently talking what they would like to do."

Bruce and Tony talked about what they think Skyler should do.

"She should spend a week with me and then a week with you and she can trade off." Tony tried negotiating.

"Stark she's 16 it's not like she's a child switching her off on different weeks isn't going to help she's going to get sick of it.  She's my daughter she grew up with me as her father she stays here." Bruce was not going  to move that easily.

"But shes my daughter I want to know her. I've been deprived of knowing my own child Bruce can't you understand." Tony was frustrated.

"Tony I understand I didn't know about my youngest son till he was 10. But Skyler is my child. And also  we should let her decide what she wants.  She called you dad so you obviously mean something to her. I just think we should wait for her to get better." For the first time Bruce was nervous. He knows since Skyler finding out about her powers they were having a  rocky relationship but she's still his child ever since Wanda left her. So Tony coming back he feels threatened that he might take his place as her father. He doesn't even have multiple children he can give her more time, more attention and she would have a mother or a mother figure a better one than the woman Bruce brings. Paper would be there with Skyler and could relate on non superhero terms.

A ringing brought Bruce out of his thoughts. He looked at his phone.

"Sorry can I get this." He picked up the phone not looking at who called.

"Hello?"

"Is she ok?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Who is this?" He asked.

"It's Wanda. Is she ok?" Bruce was shocked he never expected her to call about Skyler.

"Yes she's okay she's upstairs.Why do you care now?" He was honestly mad why now is she calling.

'Who is it.' Tony mouthed. 'Wanda' Tony rolled his eyes.

"I felt what happened. Bruce she's not okay. Her powers haven't been used and she's weak.

"And what's gonna happen she could recover." By this point Bruce put her on speaker to be heard by who ever was in the room.

"She could die Bruce. I can help Just let me." He looked over at Tony to see if he should let her

"Okay."

[bakerolivias-archived]

i don't really contribute to debates of whether clarke was ooc in season seven because ive completely blocked it from my mind (except for the parts i liked about that season, which were octavia and echo and bad bitches kru, as well as memori), but the strange thing is how clarke and bellamy both turned on their families that season, bellamy for spiritual salvation and clarke killing bellamy to save her daughter, despite their season six arc having mainly been about repairing the damage they'd done in the name of protecting their families and "doing better."

yes, bellamy's had a tendency to join corrupt causes before when he was hurt or in pain (aka joining pike after gina's death, which is a bit racist to have a black man, a brown man, and an asian woman be the ringleaders of xenophobia and genocide in contrast to white people being the reasonable ones but we'll get into that some other time), but in season five his main motivation was family, even over the safety of his best friend (that he hasn't seen in six years) and her child. he fought like hell and betrayed clarke so spacekru could be together, and clarke in turn made the choice to leave him to die. they both had regrets about their choices that season. clarke wanted to make better choices in season six and was determined to stop the cycle of violence. bellamy regretted what he did in season three and hated himself so much he let his own sister beat him, and after that he did everything he could to redeem himself. even after everyone had forgiven him he still struggled to forgive himself and questioned whether he'd earned this forgiveness at all.

bellamy and clarke are both protectors, fighting and even killing for their families and the people they love. but they don't make these choices without remorse, even if these are what need to be done.

in the end, the question wasn't whether or not they were ooc. it was: what the hell has jason been doing this whole time? how did a cohesive six season storyline end with this? bellamy and clarke's character arcs were mainly about making new and better choices - which, if i may point out, octavia and echo did, when they chose forgiveness over violence and didn't physically punish clarke for her actions, despite their previously violent natures that softened into love once they themselves gained new families. bellamy shouldn't have betrayed clarke, madi, or spacekru, who he canonically refers to and thinks of as his family, and clarke shouldn't have pulled the trigger on him, as just one season earlier, she referred to him as her family too, and thanked him for saving her.

if they were ever truly best friends, clarke never would have shot him, instead listening to and understanding his views. bellamy would never have betrayed her or endangered madi, especially since he'd always agonized with how he'd raised octavia, the child he loved, and how in season one he accidentally led a child to commit murder.

after having family and loyalty being important to both of them, it's senseless to throw all of that away for a shocking ending. as jroth admitted himself, without bellamy, there is nothing. it was ooc for spacekru to simply move on from his death after how much he loved them and all they'd been through together, not to mention clarke after how she'd discussed him at length with her own daughter, and how her daughter had faith in bellamy coming back to earth (not spacekru. bellamy.)

the 100 season seven is a waste of characters, relationships, and potential arcs/plotlines. it was not a satisfying ending, and it was not the way everyone's arcs should have ended.

[never-enough-fanfiction]

Hey ive been swamped with ACT studying latley, i was wondering if you can do head canons on what Benimaru would be like as a dad (x mother wife) where the two of you have kids? Since he is a proto nationalist I totally see him wanting a big traditional family. How would he react to pregnancy news? What would he be like when his s/o is in labor, or his reaction to babys first steps or first word. So much fluff!!

If, while reading this, you get the feeling that it was wirtten by some caveman who doesn't know shiet about children or words, know that this caveman tried her best to make it as cute and fun as possible, and that really is the pinnacle of her abilities. Okay?

+ As always, sorry for delay, I know how nerve wracking can exams be (just finished my midterms) and I hope you will achieve the highest possible results. Unfortunately you asked an author who is what she is ... Please take these 1 500 words as compensation.

Enjoy!

News

Benimaru took the news of your first pregnancy in silence. In a silence so deaf and long that every passing second tightened the hoop around your heart tighter and tighter.

It took you three days to get ready to say it to his face, and yet the stress was still eating you from the inside. His lack of response as you fumbled the ends of your T-shirt in your hands did not make it easier nor better.

You looked up sharply, preferring to face his anger rather than spending another second in uncertainty, and you found that Benimaru was looking over your shoulder, present body, but definitely not mind.

After a few calls and waving in front of his face, Benimaru seemed to wake up and shifted his lost gaze to you.

"We will have a kid?"

"Yes, we will." You repeated, stressing each word, trying to get through to him this time. You expected many things, but not so much confusion.

"A kid." He repeated, and his crimson eyes lit up the glow. "A kid!"

Benimaru cuped your checks and kissed every inch of your face. Lips, checks, temples, forehead, nose, eyelids.

"A kid."

The next person to hear the happy news was Konro, and then the whole city somehow. The residents' mouths did not close for the next 9 months.

Each time he took it better and better. Each time he almost went out of his skin showering you with kisses or dancing around the room with you in his arms. Only this first stage of the shock was shortened.

Pregnancy

Benimaru didn't know at first what a pregnant woman could and couldn't do, so it was best if you didn't do anything. After long interpretations from the midwife, the range of your allowable activities extended beyond sitting and breathing, but there was no question of any use of force.

After a while, you even stopped trying to lift anything above the bowl of rice. Every time Benimaru saw that you were carrying a package, you happened to get the slightest rebuke. It was worse for all Hikeshi within 100 meters for not-helping. After that, you didn't want to trouble the innocent firefighters anymore.

As you can't even look at sake, your evening drinking has turned into making up names over tea. (Not that Shinmon suddenly stopped drinking. He doesn't want to drink in front of you when you couldn't, and after every news of the next baby, the alcohol flows in streams, so he can't complain about abstinence.) He loves holding you in his arms, with one hand for growing belly. Once he felt a kick, he literally melted.

With time, as the family began to grow, it was his duty to make sure that the older children did not tire you and find them to do something.

Childbirth

The first time he had no idea what to do. He literally turned to Konro saying:

"Konro, [Y / N], labor, what do I do ?!" Sould he wreck some buildings?

Konro, as a loving friend aware that there was no time to explain it to him with words, kicked his composite ass to the hospital.

While the whole city was celebrating the birth of another Shinmon, Benimaru was sitting next to you, holding a small bundle in his stiff hands.

"You can hug them, you know?"

"They are too tiny!" he muttered, afraid to raise his voice so as not to wake the sleeping figure.

“They are stronger than you think, Love. They're Shinmon after all, ”you recalled with a chuckle.

Since then, every time the inhabitants of the viewer of Benimaru running to the hospital (have you ever seen Benimaru running? Me neither.), they immediately reach for alcohol.

Begginings

Benimaru has experience and no major problems in taking care of children, especially since they are his. In his time off work, you can see him sitting in front of the Guardhouse, giving his toothless child to chew on his forearms, and sometimes making a tour around the city together, to the joy of all the residents. Other times, he will sit in front of the little one trying to teach him the first words.

*

"C’mon kid, da-d." Benimaru tried to keep the child's attention who was much more interested in chewing a wooden puppet.

"Daaa ~"

"Close enough, da-d." Some time ago he made a bet with [Y/N] that their first word would be dad, and the rules did not exclude support. "Da-d."

"Maaa ~"

"No, DA-D." He sighed softly and looked up sharply for the approaching steps.

Konro stepped into the yard, gloomy, looking around until he found the Captain.

“Oi Waka, have you seen Hika and Hina? I can’t find them anywhere. "

The red-eyed man shrugged, pointing to the street.

"Maybe they are terrorizing the candy seller again."

Konro sighed heavily and disappeared behind the building, leaving them alone again, and Benimaru returned his attention to the child, already scrambling onto his lap.

"Wanna sleep?" He helped them climb a little higher and leaned in as they held out a small hand at him. He was expecting an awkward slap on the nose, but instead got a tug on his hair almost to the floor. "Ack! What the… "

"Waka ~"

"What?" He froze as he tried to untangle the strands from his impossibly grasping fingers.

“Waka ~” The child repeated, tugging again, and giggled smugly.

Waka? Does it count as a dad? Did he win?

The next achievement was to make sure they didn't repeat all those curses after him, or at least so [Y/N] wouldn't hear.

Beni with big family

You probably expected that just as with twins, the whole Guardhouse will look after them ? Hah, ya wrong.

ENTIRE CITIES WATCH OVER THE MINI MIXES OF BENI-CHAN WITH [Y/N] -CHAN. They are so spoiled that sometimes it feels like only you and Benimaru have any rules. On the other hand, there are no problems with finding your children, just call them by name and half the street will indicate their whereabouts.

• Maybe you can't see it, but Benimaru doesn't know what to do with himself out of happiness. Even when he comes home in the evenings after a really long day, the sight of all those faces looking at him as the center of the world makes him smile. At such moments, he will always find some strength to play.

• The fun begins when they are old enough to help him with his work, not putting the Infernals to rest or blowing up houses, but just making a errands around the city where he can show them what Hikeshi's job is and teach them about his core beliefs.

He doesn't always succeed, but he knows he can rely on you and your ability to use words if he does.

• Benimaru has no problem with cases when one of his children doesn't want to follow in his footsteps, he knows that he has raised them well and that when he is gone, they will take care of his city regardless of his position or profession.

• BUT NOTHING RELATED TO THE EMPIRE!

You had to use force to stop him from throwing your daughter's boyfriend out the door when he heard he was with the empire.

Play time

Benimaru's favorite form of spending time together is, of course, teaching his children everything he can. Regardless of their gender, they all have inherited above-average amounts of fire power and a love to destruction.

After several dozen problems with stopping his own children from killing their siblings, Benimaru created a game called: "dad agains everyone"

It’s fun to watch Benimaru surroded by figures half his height, who try to collapse him to the ground.

Rest of the family

Grandpa Konro

This man survived small Benimaru and the Twins. There is nothing this man haven’t seen. Which makes him the best grandfather in the empire. At this stage, Koro already has a separate locker for everything from his numerous grandchildren.

He is also your kids safe place when the parent's fury rages outside.

Aunt Hika and Hina

There were times when you had to entrust your older children to the care of twins (if your children were several years old, Hika and Hina were also older, don’t get me wrong). The girls made sure that the younger members of the family learned everything they needed to know about Asakusa, the inhabitants and their usual behavior.

In fact, at some point they were considered to be part of their siblings, and so were treated like ones (read: regular bloodshed).

Nevertheless, every time one of the stepsiblings messed up with someone they shouldn't (manga readers know perfectly well that kids have it after their dad), the two fire foxes turned into two bloodthirsty beasts, ready to chase away any problematic individual.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 8

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,175ish

Summary: Your roommates are annoyed and Gamora is determined to make you jump through hoops.

Notes: This is based off of Grey’s Anatomy 1x07. I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.

When your alarm went off, you were naked in your bed. With a naked Steve beside you. A small groan passing between his lips, Steve reached around you to turn off the alarm clock and then cuddled into you.

“Hmmm,” you hummed, enjoying his arms around you way too much. “You have to get up now.”

“What?” Steve mumbled, half asleep. “What time is it?”

You smirked, rolling on top of him. “It’s 5:20, and I have pre-rounds. And you,” you booped his nose, “have to leave before they see you.”

You gave him a small kiss before rolling off of him.

“Oh, come on, now,” Steve grumbled. “Why don’t you just let them see?” He quickly rolled on top of you, pinning you down.

“No!”

“Please!”

“No! No!”

He began placing kisses all over you. Saying, ‘please’, between eat kiss.

“Steve!” You squealed. “St-stoppp!

~~~

“You two get any sleep?” Scott asked, walking into the kitchen where Val and Clint were eating.

“Oh, she could oil the bedsprings as a courtesy or at least buy a padded headboard,” Val complained.

“So, uh, who’s the guy?” Clint asked.

“You think it was just one guy doing all that work?”

“Yeah, do you mind if I don’t think about that?”

“Oh, you jealous, Barton?” Scott teased.

“I’m not jealous.”

“Well, I am,” Val responded. “But at least I know she’ll be having a long day at work.”

They all froze when they heard a floor board near the top of the stairs squeak. The three of them rushed over to the doorway, wanting to see who was coming down the stairs. Steve snuck down the stairs and out the door, seen by Val, Clint, and Scott.

“Well, at least we know that brain surgery isn’t his only skill,” Val commented, going to get more coffee.

“They—they can’t be…” Clint stared at the front door in shock. “He’s… he’s our boss.”

“Yep,” Scott replied, glancing at his watch. “We’re late. You know, she has been scrubbing in a lot lately on his surgeries.”

“No, Y/N wouldn’t sleep with him just to… no.”

“Well, if she’s not ashamed of it, why is she keeping it a secret?” Val wondered.

“Maybe she didn’t. Maybe it just happened. You know, spontaneously, last night.”

“Good morning,” you greeted, entering the kitchen.

“Morning,” Val and Scott responded.

“So…” Val started, “it sounded like you were having some pretty radical sex last night, all night long. Who was the guy?”

“No one you know,” you lied with a shrug.

Clint, Scott, and Val all gave each other a look.

“We’re late,” Scott said. “Let’s go.”

~~~

“I’m gonna beed a major rush to make it through this day,” Clint said in the locker room. “I need a kick-ass surgery.”

“Ooh, you a bad boy last night, Clint?” Peter taunted.

“No,” Val answered for him. “That would be Y/N.”

“You a bad boy, Y/N?”

“Do tell,” Natasha urged.

“Nothing to tell,” you shrugged.

“That says it all, huh?”

Val slammed her locker door shut, annoyed at your lies.

“Sorry, I have a sex life,” you apologized.

“Don’t apologize,” Peter said. “Embrace it. Share it. Count me in.”

“Yeah, next time, just let me know if I need to go to a hotel so I can get some sleep,” Val said.

“Am I missing something?” You asked.

“You were just a little loud,” Scott replied.

Everyone left except you and Natasha.

“Do they know it’s Captain McDreamy keeping them up all night?” Natasha asked.

“I hope not,” you answered. “I already have Gamora riding me, I don’t need my roommates thinking I’m getting special treatment.”

~~~

You yawned as you and Natasha met up with the other interns and Dr. Gamora. You just hoped that you didn’t look as tired as you felt.

“Barton, Romanoff, Lang, Quill, go on to the clinic,” Gamora ordered. She looked up, catching Clint watch Steve through a window. Steve was putting in eye drops. “Barton, patients are waiting.” Clint scurried off. “You two,” Gamora motioned to you and Val, “come with me. Val, you’re hanging with me today.” Steve walked over. “Good morning, Dr. Rogers.”

“Dr. Gamora,” he replied as you yawned. “Late night, L/N?”

“No,” you responded, “caffeine just hasn’t kicked in yet.”

“If you’re at all religious, you would want to start praying it kicks in soon,” Gamora retorted. “There’s a consult in the pit. Girl with a fever and abdominal pain. After that, Lee in 3311 needs his meds. Mr. Jackson’s IV fell out, and he’s a hard stick. Post-ops in 1337, 3342, 3363, and 2381.”

You had nodded along, trying to get your tired brain to understand what she was saying. “3381, 3342, 3363,” you repeated, “and 23… 81?” 

Gamora simply glared at you instead of answering what you needed. “Why are you still standing in front of me?”

You quickly hurried down to the pit, not wanting to get on Gamora’s bad side anymore than you already were. You started your consultation with an eighteen year old girl named Jessie Todd. Her mother and father were both accompanying her. Jessie seemed nervous, biting her nails.

“I think she got some bug on her trip to Mexico with her friends,” Mrs. Todd said. “I told her not to go to a third-world country, but does she ever listen?”

“She’s been weak ever since and she’s lost weight,” Mr. Todd worried.

“Barely,” Jessie mumbled.

“And this morning, she passed out in the shower.”

“When was the trip?” You asked.

“A couple weeks ago,” Jessie answered. “I’m really fine. I just have a fever.”

“Okay, well, will you lie back for an exam for me?”

“No, please, I don’t need an exam. Just give me some antibiotics and send me home.”

“Well, maybe it is just a fever, but they called down for a surgeon, so I have to give the ok to let you go. So just let me do the exam.”

“Do the exam,” Mr. Todd urged.

“No. This is crazy. I’m fine.”

“For God's sake, Jessie, I don't want to spend my entire day here,” Mrs. Todd exclaimed.

“You know, actually, Mrs. Todd, this might be easier if we had some privacy,” you told the parents, sensing that Jessie was worried about their reactions to whatever was going on. “So would you two mind leaving the room?”

“That’s fine,” Mr. Todd said, guiding his wife away.

Jessie lied down and you began to push at her stomach.

“Ow,” Jessie complained. “Don’t push so hard.”

“Can you lift your shirt so I can examine your stomach?” You requested. With a sigh, Jessie slowly lifted her shift, revealing pink scars. “Where did you get these? Jessie… you've had surgery recently. These scars are still pink.”

“Don’t tell my parents.”

“You did this in Mexico so your parents wouldn't know? What did you have done?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Jessie—“

“I can’t!”

With a sigh, you walked away, ordering a CT for Jessie before heading to help the other patients that Gamora had for you.

~~~

You at just finished Gamora’s last job for you when she paged. You were quickly to go find her.

“You paged?” You questioned, finding her near a nurses station.

“Where are we?” She asked.

“I did the consult, did the IV, the meds, the Post-ops, everything.”

“How is your pit patient?”

“She’s febrile and has peritoneal signs.”

Both you and Gamora’s attentions go to Natasha, who is walking by looking ill.

“You alright, Romanoff?” Gamora wondered, not caring all that much.

“Fine,” Natasha responded, waving it off as she kept going. “On my way back to the clinic.”

“Anyway, about the pit patient.”

“I think she had some sort of illegal surgery done in Mexico,” you stated.

“Botched abortion?”

“No. She has four laparoscopic scars on her abdomen and won't say what they're from, the parents are clueless.”

“She’s a minor.”

“Seventeen. Freshman in college.”

“You order up for a CT?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“So while she's there, the nurses couldn't get a Foley on Mr. Garay. He may need a Coude cath if you can't get a normal one in there. Write up post-op notes on all surgical-floor patients that had surgery within the last 24 hours. Be sure to document their EKG's and x-rays. Hunt them down if you can't find them.”

“Right away.”

~~~

You were exhausted by the time Jessie’s CT scans came back. Gamora was really working you to the bone. Of course, it didn’t help that you had spent most of the night up with Steve, having some of the most enjoyable sex you’ve ever had. But that wasn’t the point. Scans in hand, you found Gamora at the nurses station near the lobby.

“Dr. Gamora?” You walked up to her. “Jessie Todd’s abdominal CTs.” You handed her the scans.

She took them, holding them up to study them. “Is this girl fat?”

“Not at all,” you shook your head. “She’s a normal college kid.”

“So,” she handed the scans back to you, “what do you see?”

You took them back and studied them yourself. “Her stomach’s stapled. She’s had a gastric bypass.”

“And a bad one at, at that.”

Jessie Todd was moved into a patient room. So you and Gamora requested to speak to her parents outside of the hallway. You were tasked to explain to them what at happened.

“Gastric bypass is a procedure normally done on obese patients to help them lose weight,” you stated, after telling them what their daughter had done.

“Jessie?” Mr. Todd questioned. “She doesn’t need to lose weight.”

“Are you kidding?” Mrs. Todd responded. “This means the world to her. But it is so typical of this girl to take the easy way out. She's done it with everything since she was a little kid.”

“Mrs, Todd, nothing about this is gonna be easy,” Gamora said. “She's gonna face a lifelong struggle with malnutrition unless she has surgery to reverse the procedure.”

“Do the surgery,” Mrs. Todd ordered before turning to her husband. “I told her to watch the freshman 15. Don't eat junk, exercise. But when she came home Christmas, who had to take her out and buy her a brand new pair of size 6 jeans because she couldn't get in the ones I got her last summer?”

“Chrissy, you know, she tries so hard,” Mr. Todd retorted. “She does. She gets good grades. She gets A’s.”

“She had illegal surgery in Mexico.”

“Unfortunately, there were complications with the bypass,” Gamora stated.

“What do you mean?” Mr. Todd asked.

“She has what looks like an abscess under her diaphragm, and edema, which is a swelling of the bowel wall. I can't say for certain she'll recover completely.”

“Just do whatever you have to do to make her well, ok?”

“Of course, sir.”

Gamora walked away, and you stayed to check up on Jessie. It was then that Mrs. Todd entered Jessie’s room, angrily.

“Before you guys start,” Jessie quickly said, “I know you’re mad.”

“Disbelief, Jessie,” Mrs. Todd exclaimed. “Just disbelief.”

“I’m just concerned,” Mr. Todd added, much more calmly than his wife. “Where did you get the idea to do this?”

“The internet,” Jessie answered quietly.

“But, honey, there is a healthy way to lose weight,” Mrs. Todd said.

“Yeah, I tried that, but...it doesn't work for me like it does for you.”

“Hey,” Mr. Todd said, putting a hand on his daughter’s leg, “you don’t need to lose weight.”

“What are you eating?” Mrs. Todd quickly wondered. “And how much have you been working out? I mean, you know, most of the time, when people hit their target weight, they have to work to stay there.”

“Everyone gains weight in college, Mom,” Jessie responded. “It’s—it’s stressful. There’s... there's not enough time for exercise. I just thought if I wasn't worried about my diet, then… I could focus more on my studies.”

“So you took yet another shortcut? Life doesn’t work that way, Jessie.”

“Chrissy!” Mr. Todd exclaimed.

“What? You want to argue this?”

Huffing at his wife, Mr. Todd turned to you. “She has so much potential, if she would just apply herself—”

“Okay, okay,” you interrupted, having heard enough. “I think we should focus on taking care of your daughter. And, Jessie, your parents agree, the best thing to do is to reverse the bypass.”

“No!” Jessie shouted. “No, it's my body. I do not want surgery again. Please?”

“There were serious complications. And this is about your health.”

“But I’d rather be thin.”

“Well, I’m afraid the choice isn’t up to you,” Mrs. Todd responded.

~~~

With a sigh, you found yourself pushed up against the wall in the stairwell. You were tired and so over Mrs. Todd.

“Long day?” Tony’s voice came closer.

You opened your eyes to see him walking up the stairs. “You could say that,” you responded. “How’s trying to get a date with Dr. Potts going?”

“Not so well,” he sighed, coming to leaning against the wall beside you. “I’ve been bringing her coffee or tea every morning though. I’m trying.”

“You really screwed up,” you giggled.

“You’re telling me. How are you and Steve?”

“We’re… fine.”

“He told me you were up all last night.”

“What?!”

“Okay, he didn’t tell me. But I can see how tired both of you are. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

“It’s that obvious? Tony, are you serious? This could totally ruin—“

“Woah, woah, woah. Calm down there, Y/N. I’m just playing with you. Gosh, you need to take a chill pill or something.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just… I know we shouldn’t be doing what we are doing.”

“But you enjoy it too much to stop. I get it… I just wish I was getting some too.”

~~~

Natasha was standing in the hall looking nauseous.

“Romanoff!” Clint called, excitedly hurrying up to her. “I’m scrubbing in on a hemispherectomy with Rogers.”

“Get out!” She responded. “I would kill for that.”

“We're gonna cut out half a girl's brain and it's going to work. It's outrageous. Almost makes it hard to hate him.”

“Why do you hate him?”

“Oh, no reason.”

“You know about him and Y/N, don’t you?”

“You know?”

“When are you gonna figure out that I know everything?”

Noticing Val walking up from behind, Clint pointed at Natasha. “She knows.”

“What?” Val questioned. “About Y/N and the Captain?”

“It’s been going on for, like ever,” Natasha commented.

“Seriously?”

“And you didn’t tell us?” Clint wondered.

“Ooh, you’re a gossip, huh?” Natasha responded.

“I am not!”

“I am,” Val said.

“He’s about to go into major brain surgery on no sleep? Not very responsible.”

“Jealous much?” Natasha chuckled. “Sex all night isn't about being responsible.”

“No,” Val agreed, “it’s about sex all night. I can't believe you're not more pissed off about this, you of all people.”

“Well, Y/N works hard all day. She’s good at her job. Why should you care how she unwinds? I mean, you like to bake all night. Some people like to drink. Others like an occasional screaming orgasm.”

~~~

Gamora and you were carefully operating on Jessie in the OR. Gamora was letting you help with more than you thought she would.

“Handle with care,” Gamora advised as she handed you Jessie’s bowel. “This things—“

“Full of gunk,” you responded. “I know.”

“We need to free the bowel from the adhesions caused from the abscess. This poor girl. What was she thinking?”

“She wants her mother's approval. She wanted to please her.”

“And this damage is the result? Here, resect that.”

“Needle-tip Bovie, please,” you requested, handing the bowel back to Gamora.

“When you’re done here, you have post-ops waiting.”

“I know, Dr. Gamora.”

“Natasha also has the flu. So, you need to pick up the slack in the clinic as well.”

“Look, I’ll mop the floors, okay?” That earned you a glare from Gamora. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.”

“It's not the only thing that's inappropriate. While we're on the subject, you care to tell me what you think you're doing?”

“Look, I'll jump through hoops if you want me to. But what I do what I leave this hospital is my business.”

“Half this hospital knows your business. Flu isn't the only virus spreading around here.”

“I made a choice, and I know you don't respect me for that choice. But I'll live with the consequences.”

“Then I'll have lots of hoops for you to jump through.”

“I've done everything you've asked me to do. I may not do it your way but it gets done. So whatever else you got, bring it on.” 

Suddenly, Jessie’s bowel burst. Spraying you with toxic waste. You could hear the people watching in the gallery go, ‘ew’.

“Okay, Dr. L/N, now that you’ve drained the organ, we can attempt to repair it,” Gamora said.

“Now my day is perfect,” you muttered.

The nurses tried to clean you up the best they could as you operated. Though they seemed to only make it worse. After the surgery, you and Gamora headed out into the hallway together.

“I need a shower,” you commented.

“No, I need a shower,” Gamora retorted. “You need to go tell that girl's parents what kind of kid they're getting back.”

“You're not gonna let me shower first?”

“That would be a hoop, would it not?”

“It would qualify.”

“Shower first, then.”

You rushed to the locker room. Val and Natasha were already there.

“Ew, what smells?” Val asked as you passed her.

“That would be me,” you answered, "or more specifically, my patient's insides all over me.”

“That makes me strangely happy.”

“Oh, Y/N,” Natasha grimaced, “you smell like—“

“Karma.”

“What?” You asked Val.

“Nothing.”

“Something vile is stuck in your hair,” Natasha told you, pointing to your hairline. “You know, just go stand over there, please.” She shooed you to the other side of the aisle.

“Ugh, how much do I love being a surgeon right now?” You mumbled.

“Karma,” Val laughed.

“What does karma have to do with anything?”

“I'm just saying, you've been given all the best surgeries. And now you smell like putrid goo. And you're giving off a stench. Karma's a bitch.”

Gamora walked into the locker room. “Dr. Rogers needs an intern in surgery,” she stated. “Which one of you is clear?”

“I’m good!” Natasha raised her hand. She was still looking pale. “Where do you want me?”

“You need to lie down somewhere.”

“I’m fine, I’m completely healthy.”

“L/N?” 

“Of course,” Val grumbled.

“What is your problem?” You asked Val, annoyed.

“Um, you! Cause apparently you can help Captain McDreamy in ways the rest of us can’t.”

“You did not just say th—“

“Yes, I did!”

“Hey!” Gamora called out. “Natasha, hemispherectomy in OR 1 with Dr. Shepherd. Go.”

Natasha nodded and hurried away. Val marched off as well.

“Apparently, I’m not the only one with hoops,” Gamora smirked.

~~~

After showering, you found Mrs. and Mr. Todd in the lobby. As you walked, you explained to them what had gone on in surgery.

“We were able to reverse the gastric bypass, but we did lose a significant portion of her bowel,” you told them. “And because of the short gut syndrome, Jessie will never eat normally again.”

“Ok, wait, do…” Mr. Todd tried to put his thoughts together. “How do we help her here?”

“Well, getting proper nutrition will be a lifelong problem for Jessie.”

“Great,” Mrs. Todd murmured, annoyed, “as if we already don't have our hands full with her.”

“She gets good grades. She stays out of trouble. She's smart. I just think she feels like nothing she does is good enough for you.”

“If you somehow think that I'm responsible for this…”

“I think Jessie is killing herself to please you.”

“Oh, please. You have no idea what's going on in that girl's mind.”

“You're her mother. She worships the ground you walk on. She didn't do this for herself.”

“I think that this situation is completely—“

“Chrissy, shut up,” Mr. Todd interrupted.

Both you and Mrs. Todd looked shocked as Mr. Todd walked faster to Jessie’s room.

~~~

Clint had had an interesting day, to say the least. He had discovered that the anesthesiologist in Steve’s surgery was drunk. Bringing up to Dr. Rogers, both the anesthesiologist and Dr. Rogers got mad, throwing him out of the surgery. Which is why he needed another intern.

Durning the surgery, Natasha and Dr. Rogers quickly realized that Clint had been right. Allowing Natasha and another doctor to close, Steve requested Clint to met him outside of the OR.

“Let me explain,” Steve began.

“It’s fine,” Clint responded.

“No, there is a code among doctors. We're not supposed to ask each other questions, not within the walls of this hospital.”

“Okay, so, I was out of line.”

“No, you weren't. I was. I was out of line. Somebody should have taken responsibility. It should have been the guy doing the cutting. It should have been me. You didn't deserve what happened to you today. You did the right thing code or no code.” Steve held out his hand for Clint to shake. Hesitantly, Clint shook it. “You saw me leave the house this morning, didn’t you?”

Clint pulled his hand away. “Oh, was that you?”

“Hmm. I’m not using her. And I don’t favor her.”

“She’s pretty great, you know.”

“Mm-hmm. I know.”

~~~

You went to Jessie, getting her into a wheel chair so that you can walk her around while talking to her alone. You had made a phone call, and you needed to tell her about it.

“Did you fix me?” Jessie asked, after the two of you walked in silence for awhile. 

“No, not completely,” you responded.

“So, I won’t get fat?”

“No.”

“Oh. That’s awesome.”

“Jessie, I’ve asked social services to contact your parents.”

“What? Why?”

“They can help you.”

“With what?”

“You don't know this yet, but life isn't supposed to be like this. It's not supposed to be this hard. And your mom… she isn’t suppose to treat you this way.”

~~~

You were so extremely grateful when you were finally allowed to go home. It was late, so you were expecting your roommates to be asleep. When you entered the kitchen, you found Val frosting a cake.

“I thought you’d be asleep by now,” you commented, searching for food.

“Yeah, well, I’m not,” Val retorted. “If you wait a few minutes, you can have a piece of cake. Baked it chock-full of love. Actually, chock-full of unrelenting, all consuming rage and hostility, but it's still tasty.”

“So you know?”

“I know.”

“Well, do you want the long, sordid version, or do you want the short version, where I started sleeping with a guy who turned out to be my boss?”

“Neither.”

“Val, cut me some slack here.”

“No. You went to Dartmouth. Your parents— don’t get me started on that. I know you’re trying to hide who your parents are. But I know. You grew up— look at this house! You know, you walk into the OR, and there isn’t anyone who doubts that yo should be there. I… I grew up in a trailer park. I went to state school. I put myself through med school by posing in my underwear. You know, I walk into the OR, and everyone hopes I'm the nurse. Y-you have their respect without even trying, and you're throwing it away for...what? A few good surgeries?”

“No. It's not about the surgeries. It's not about getting ahead.”

“Then what? A little hot sex? You're willing to ruin your credibility over that? I mean, Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” You huffed, shaking your head. “Oh, my… you’re falling for him.”

“I am not.”

“Oh, you so are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You so are. Damn it, you poor girl.”

“You know, it's just that he's just so… And I'm just… I'm having a hard time.”

"Wow, you're all, uh, mushy and… warm and full of secret feelings.” Val handed you a piece of cake.

“I hate you!” You snatched the cake from her. “And your cake.”

“My cake is good. So, um, how hot is the sex?”

“Val.”

“What? Come on, my girlfriend broke up with me, I’m not getting any. Help a girl out with a few details.”

~~~

Steve showed up at your door an hour later, exhausted as well. You two headed up to your bedroom. You were both on either side of the bed, pulling back the covers.

“You know,” Steve slurred, “we could just…”

“Sleep?” You finished.

“We could, yeah, if… if you want to.”

“Yeah?”

You both crawled into bed. You turned off the lamp beside you before cuddling into Steve’s side. He reached over and turned off the lamp at his side.

“I could get used to this,” you whispered, falling asleep.

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Zuko x female reader series: Part One

Imagine being General Zhao’s daughter and the rebellious childhood best friend of Prince Zuko. You haven’t seen him since he was banished but come across his ship at sea and are reunited. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen Zuko’s scar and he’s worried what you’ll think of it.  Zuko’s particularly worried because despite being just friends your opinion matters a lot to him, because he’s just a bit (a lot) in love with you.

Part two here

Part three here

Part four here

Part Five here

Part Six here

Zuko’s POV

As soon as an admiral took over Zuko’s ship anger took over his body but then when he realised it was Zhao his anger faded. If Zhao was here that might mean you were too....with this in mind Zuko held his temper as Zhao swaned onto his ship and started giving his crew orders. Zuko searched all of Zhao’s crew mates but he couldn’t see you. He was barely listening to what Zhao was saying so eager to just see you, it’d been 3 long years and Zuko just wondered how you’d changed. When you didn’t appear Zuko sighed in defeat, he was itching to ask, to request to see you but he knew he couldn’t. Banishment forbid Zuko from contacting any one in any form, if he was to see you it’d have to be by chance and there was no way your father would let that happen. A fact made even more apparent as Zhao stood there smirking at the banished prince of the firenation, almost daring Zuko to dare mention your name. Iroh knew what Zuko wanted to ask, he’d seen his change in body language the second your father’s name was mentioned and he’d hoped you’d appear to lift his nephews spirits but you didn’t. He knew Zuko missed you but he also knew Zuko cared too much about you to risk dragging your name down with him. If it got out he’d been asking about you he could get you into trouble. So Zuko couldn’t ask about you but that didn’t mean Iroh couldn’t. “And where is your lovely daughter admiral? I heard she’s got a fleet just like yours”. Zuko tensed shocked and Zhao narrowed his eyes looking from Iroh to Zuko. Zuko’s eyes grew wide but he managed not to show any more emotion as held his breath, waiting for Zhao’s reply. “She’s not here” Zhao said smugly as he saw the prince’s posture slump, it was a micromovement but still Zhao noticed and smiled. “I sent her and her naval fleet to guard the fire nation borders”. “Aw that’s a shame” Iroh smiled sadly but he saw the look in Zhao’s eyes. The man was lying, you were here and he was going to buy Zuko some time with you. “How about a tour of your fleet Admiral?” he grinned at Zhao “one does not see a fleet as impressive as this every day”. Zhao smiled his ego stroked and nodded “of course, will the prince be joining us?”. Zuko glared and Iroh smiled “you stay here then, keep an eye on things” he smirked but his hint went right over Zuko’s head. The thought of seeing you had excited him but of course you weren’t here...nothing ever worked out for him. Zuko grunted and retreated to his room to sulk. Iroh scanned the horizon, he hoped you found Zuko and quickly, he would like to see his nephew smile again.

Your POV

You watched your father leave Zuko’s boat and smirked to only see Iroh with him, if you were a betting woman (and you were) you’d bet Zuko was still on the ship, probably sulking inside. You father tried to keep it a secret from you Zuko's boat was here but you had many eyes and ears throughout the fleet, mainly belonging to the workers who liked you because you didn’t threaten to burn them over any inconvenience unlike your father. The workers had whispered it to you and you discreetly made your way to the front of the fleet and boarded Zuko’s boat the second it was safe to. The crew apparently were expecting you, you suspected that was Iroh’s doing, and let you into Zuko’s quarters easily. You pushed open his door and smirked to see the familiar broad swords and belongings you’d forgotten about. Zuko was hunched over a desk in semi darkness and didn’t even look up when you entered. “I said I didn’t want to come on the tour uncle” he snapped and you smirked leaning against the door frame. “Well fine then guess I’ll go back to my own ship”. Zuko’s head snapped around so quickly you worried he’d get whip lash. “Y/n” he cried and rushed onto his feet. "The one and only" you smiled and walked forwards. It was weird neither of you were particularly sentimental but seeing each other again after 3 years you rushed to each other and just crumpled into one another. You only even hugged Zuko to embarass him but this was a serious hug. You clutched one another and held onto each other so tightly it hurt before seperating both grinning. "Zuko" you smiled and Zuko grinned back at you "it’s so good to see you but how...your father said you weren’t here". "So i figured" you rolled your eyes "now your reputation is questionable we wants to stop me associating with you, like him telling me that would stop me" you commented and Zuko’s grin got bigger. God you’d missed seeing that smile. "Still as headstrong as ever I see” Zuko smirked “the fire nation academy for girls hasn’t managed to change that?". You snorted "they tried but i’m pretty high ranking you know" you joked and Zuko laughed. You’d missed that laugh even more than the smile. Just happy to be in Zuko’s presence you just stared at him taking in everything detail of your best friend’s face before your eyes wandered to his scar. You hadn’t seen the scar before. You were away on a naval trip when Zuko was banished so this was the first time you’d seen it and you couldn’t help focusing on it. Zuko noticed you staring and went to turn that side of his face away self conscious and you winced “Zuko don’t!". Zuko paused and hesitated but obediently moved his head back so he was facing you, touching his scar awkwardly. "I forget you haven’t seen it before" he said quietly “that you weren’t there...”. You always felt guilty for not being there when Zuko was banished, you might’ve been able to stop it or atleast could’ve endured his punishment with him, so he didn’t have to face it alone. But you were at sea and didn’t even get back in time to say goodbye as your best friend was sent away for virtually forever. "What’s the verdict?” Zuko asked in an effort to fill the awkwardness “you were never one to lie to spare feelings so honestly how ugly does it look?". Zuko looked so sad, so beaten it broke you. Sure he’d never been particularly cheery but he’d never looked this sad before. An idea formed in your head and you smirked inwardly. "Honestly?" you asked wincing pretending to inspect his face and Zuko nodded staring at the ground. You smiled "well you were never a looker as a kid Zuko and i’m just saying that as your best friend okay! But you've grown up handsome scar and all" you grinned "if anything it makes you look dangerous, very attractive". Zuko blushed, grinned and looked away all at once. You smiled to see he no longer looked sad. "Shut up" Zuko managed to mutter and your smirk rose "i will not! I will tell everyone who will listen back at the palace how hot you’ve become". Zuko’s cheeks were almost as red as his scar as he put a hand infront of his face to hide it making you laugh. “I’ll be sure to say it infront of Mai in particular” you grinned bumping him with your elbow and Zuko’s blush grew. You took that to be because Zuko liked Mai but couldn’t be more wrong. Yes Zuko had been fond of Mai and he liked being around her but he always liked being around you more. When it became obvious you didn’t like him as anything more than a friend Zuko was heartbroken and started looking around for other options. Mai was one of those options and she was a good option, she was smart, beautiful, high ranking and they got along. Zuko had enjoyed dating her but it was never as good as it was just hanging out with you and that thought flooded back to Zuko the moment he saw you. He liked Mai but he was in love with you and nothing would ever change that. You took Zuko’s silence as him being shy and smiled grabbing onto his arm “awww look I made the prince blush”. “Stop it” Zuko said trying to get out of your grip but you only hugged him harder. “I will not! As your best friend it’s my job to tease you and I really am going to go tell Mai how ruggedly handsome you’ve grown, ponytail and all” you smirked twirling his hair with your fingers. Zuko managed to break out of your embrace and you laughed. “You see Mai often at the palace?” Zuko asked and you nodded flopping into one of his chairs. “Yeah we hang out some times” you explained and smiled to see Zuko’s shocked expression. “Suprisingly we get along rather well when you're not around, guess it’s cus we forget how gorgeous you are so can stop fighting over you for two minutes and talk" you said dramatically and Zuko blushed. Zuko remembered well the tension between you and Mai. Mai hadn’t trusted how close the two of you were, Mai thought Zuko liked you and she wasn’t wrong Zuko realised. Sure this banishment had made him realise how much he cared for you but it had always been there, he’d always cared about you more than anyone else since you were kids. "I forgot how embarassing you are" Zuko commented and you grinned at him. Zuko took the chance to examine your face and noticed all the ways it had changed in the years you’d been seperated. To Zuko’s eyes you’d only grown more beautiful but he knew that would be the case. Silence settled and Zuko’s face went all serious which you knew meant he wanted to tell you something. "It’s really good to see you” Zuko said into the floor “I’ve missed you a lot y/n" and you looked up at him suprised, Zuko never spoke about his emotions, atleast not so openly, you usually had to force them out of him. "Ive missed you too" you smiled taking his hand "when i got back and you were gone and when I heard your ridiculous mission...I worried I’d never see you again” you trailed off and tears filled your eyes. Zuko blinked shocked to see you so serious when you always had a smile or chip on your shoulder. But soon enough you shook your head and smiled again “so hurry up and capture the avatar so you can come home yeah?". Zuko laughed and nodded squeezing your hand “trust me I’m trying”. “Any way I can help, no matter how big, just tell me” you told him “I’ll do it and won’t tell a soul, I just need you back Zuko, you know I’m always thinking of you don’t you?”.”You haven’t forgotten me?” Zuko asked bashfully and you scoffed. “How could I forget my best friend! The person who made growing up in that hell hole bareable! The person who’d sneak me into the palace to get at the fancy food and then bail me out when I got caught. The person who gave me this scar” you smirked pointing to the large one on your arm “because he was so bad at sheathing his knives! Or the boy who gave me a turtle duck for my birthday when I was 8 because he knew I liked them but we didn’t have a pond”. Zuko smiled “you named it Jeremiah...how is he?”. “Good” you grinned “the point is i’ll never forget you, ever Zuko and soon enough you’ll be home again but until then I’ll keep your memory alive”. Zuko felt more emotion in these minutes then he’d felt in years. He knew he loved you, no matter all the times he’d tried to convince himself it wasn’t that serious, and was just overcome with the urge to tell you. He’d been terrified to admit his feelings to you for years but now he didn’t know if or when he’d next see you. What did he have to lose? “Y/n...” he started sitting forward “there’s something I’ve got to tell you...I’ve known for years but was too scared to....” when the door was thrown open. “Y/n” Zhao yelled storming into the room, Iroh close behind him “what are you doing in here?”. You rolled your eyes “seeing an old friend dad what does it look like?”. Your father looked furious but you were used to it now. “I told you to stay on your ship” your father glared and Zuko got angry at his tone. “It was my fault I asked her to come”. You shot Zuko a grin, he was always trying to cover for you but not this time. “No he didn’t, I found him, you had no buisness keeping this from me, Zuko’s my friend you know I’d do anything to see him”. Your father looked from you to Zuko and nodded, he had no doubt about that. He’d known the prince was in love with you for a while and back when he was an actual prince that had been good, now we was a rejected prince there was no way he’d encourage that. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get us in for this! You know you’re not allowed any contact with the traitor!” you dad yelled. You felt Zuko tense and stood infront of him blocking him from your father’s view. “Zuko’s not in the fire nation and neither are we, there’s no rule about avoiding him if our ships come close to one another and it’s not like I was here long”. “Still” Zhao glared “Ozai won’t like it! His punishment doesn’t include chats with friends”. You rolled your eyes “Zuko’s dad will never find out, who’s going to tell him?”. “I won’t” Iroh said helpfully and you nodded to your dad “see”. Your dad glared “fine but I want you out of here now! We are not risking falling out of favour just so you could see that excuse of a boy”.You rolled your eyes “whatever but let me say goodbye atleast”. Your dad went to object but you spun to face Zuko ignoring him. “Zuko i’m sorry whatever you had to say will have to wait till the next time I see you”. “whenever that is” Zuko muttered and you frowned. “Don’t talk like that” you commanded “I’ll see you again soon Zuko”. Zuko didn’t look convinced so you forced him to look at you closely. “Have I ever lied to you before? ever?”. “Many times” Zuko replied and you rolled your eyes “no about something as serious as this?”. “No” Zuko admitted and you smiled “see, so i’m telling the truth, i’ll see you soon enough, it won’t be that long, if anyone can do this mission it’s you, I know it!”. Zuko blushed and your father coughed “y/n now!”. “I’m coming” you snapped before you smiled at Zuko and hugged him tightly. Your father made an angry noise and Zuko blushed feeling his glares, he was hyper away many people were watching but hugged you back anyway. “I’ll miss you Zuko but nothing will ever stop you being my best friend”. Zuko blushed and nodded “I know”. “Y/n” your dad snapped and you nodded. “I love you Zuko” you smiled and his blush skyrocketed. He knew you didn’t mean it like he did but still hearing you say that... Zuko was aware of what a spectacle you were causing but it only made him smile more. You were always one to cause a scene, constantly over the top so he knew you were doing this to embarass him one last time before you left. He didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of winning so just replied honestly. ”I love you too” Zuko said and you grinned suprised he’d actually said it back as your father came and grabbed your arm “that’s enough”. You glared at him but squeezed Zuko’s hand “goodbye Zuko”. “Goodbye Y/n, i’ll be home soon, just you wait and see” and you grinned at him one last time before letting your father drag you out.

Zuko’s POV

Zuko watched you go ignoring the way his uncle was smirking at him or the way his chest now felt empty again. He would do everything and anything to capture the avatar so he could get back to the firenation. Not for his father, not for his reputation, not even to regain his honour but for you. Zuko would do anything necessary to get back to you, nothing not even an impossible mission would get in his way.

[doc-pickles]

anywhere i want (just not home)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

For the love of my life, the inspiration behind TS week, the wind in my sails… Happy later birthday @odd-birds-and-booksellers I hope you enjoy this

Always, Your Computer Wife,

Nina

+

We gather here, we line up

Weepin' in a sunlit room, and

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

The pain in her cheek is still stinging as she struggles to open her eyes. There’s the faintest hint of sunlight filtering through the large window of her bedroom, a new day just beginning only hours after she’d finally been left alone long enough to find some peace.

The bed next to her is cold and empty, Paul having left for work while she was still crying and groaning in pain. He hadn’t spared her a second glance as he’d gotten dressed for the day, stepping over the puddle of blood that had collected on the floor where she’d laid for hours as he kicked her mercilessly, hurling harsh blows and leering insults as she’d tried to protect herself.

She pulls herself up and drags her barely conscious body to the shower, rinsing off the dried blood and sweat as she tends to the wounds she can see. She already knows she has at least one bruised rib and a sprained ankle, but she can’t do much about it now. For now all she can do is rinse off, lay in bed and hope that tonight doesn’t bring more of the same.

+

Jo bolts upright in bed, hand pressed to her chest as she attempts to slow her breathing down. The dream echoes in the back of her head, the painful memories replaying themselves in vivid technicolor right before her eyes.

She knows why they’re haunting her again, knows that he’s looking for her right now and that he won’t stop until he’s found her. Paul has made that much clear with his texts and letters, little signs to make it clear that they’re not done yet.

A hand closes over hers and she almost jumps before she remembers where she is. Jo squeezes Alex’s hand back, letting him pull her back down and into his embrace. As soon as his arms circle around her she can feel her body begin to calm down.

“It’s not even 2 AM, try and get some sleep, you need it,” Alex’s voice in her ears convinces her to close her eyes, even if sleep is far off the feeling of him so close helps to relax her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

It’s later that same day when Jo receives another text, the ping stopping her during rounds and prompting her to make a flimsy excuse to Meredith as she rushes to the nearest bathroom.

Can’t wait to see you soon, both of you.

The text lingers in her mind as her breakfast reappears, tears flowing as she tries to drown out the overwhelming noise in her mind. Paul didn’t make empty threats, that’s one thing she knew for sure. The texts she was receiving were just the tip of the iceberg for whatever he had in store for her.

“Jo? You in here?”

She can barely respond to Alex in between crying and being sick, her body overwhelmed as she tries to keep herself calm. Jo can hear Alex saying something incomprehensible as she begins to hyperventilate, his voice growing further away as her breathing became more ragged.

The last thing Jo registers before everything goes black is Alex holding her against his chest, his fingers threading through her hair in an attempt to calm her as his heartbeat echoed unsteadily in her ears.

When she comes back around Jo’s not shocked to find herself laying in a hospital bed, an IV and monitoring wires hooked up to her pale skin. Before she has a chance to overthink anything though Alex is in front of her, his hands running down her cheeks and wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized had collected there.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you,” Alex’s voice is soft as she meets his eyes, his gaze causing her to melt into another round of tears. “Oh Jo, it’s okay.”

“It’s not! He’s going to kill me, he already knows where I am and this time he’s going to make sure I don’t survive,” Jo chokes the words out, her fingers ghosting over her protruding stomach. “Alex, he's not going to leave me alone until both of us are dead. I can’t put our baby at risk like that.”

The thought almost makes her sick again, her daughter kicking against her hand as she draws in a deep breath. Of all the wild and unexpected things her and Alex had been through, their daughter was by far her favorite. Even with a few weeks left until she arrived Jo already felt a fierce instinct to protect the little girl growing in her womb.

“I’m not going to let him get anywhere near the two of you, I promise,” Alex brushes back a few strands of hair lingering on her forehead, pressing a kiss to the cool skin as he settles into the bed next to her. “You’re safe with me Jo, both of you are.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Jo wants to believe Alex, she really does. Since her breakdown over Paul’s threats he had been by her side whenever he could. His presence was comforting but it did little to calm the raging mental battle she was fighting inside her head.

Now though, as she stares down at her daughter sleeping peacefully in her arms, she knows that she made the right decision. She just hopes Alex agrees with her.

“She's perfect, you did so good,” Alex had repeated the words over and over since Isla had made her appearance almost six hours ago, but they still prompt a smile on Jo’s face. “I love you two so much.”

“I love you, we both do,” Jo leans up and captures his lips with her own, lingering a little longer than she normally would as Alex’s fingers trace her cheek delicately. “Would you do me a big favor? I left my robe at home and it’s freezing in here. Could you go home real quick and grab it?”

Alex nods, a grin on his face as he stands from the chair at her bedside and gathers his keys and wallet. Jo watches him intently, memorizing every movement and expression that makes him exactly the man she fell in love with. He leans down to press one more kiss to her forehead then Isla’s before promising to be back soon.

As the door to her hospital room shuts, Jo looks down at her daughter, tears splashing onto the newborn's cheeks as her mother watches her, “Your daddy loves you very much, don’t you ever forget that.”

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

“Alex, are you coming to work today? It’s been a week,” Meredith’s voice rings out from the doorway of the loft, but Alex can’t bring himself to answer her. She’d been by everyday since he’d come home, her voice prodding at him the only sound in the loft.

He’d gone home to get Jo’s robe like she’d asked, finally finding it tucked away at the very back of the closet instead of hanging in the bathroom like it usually was. On his way back to her room, he’d stopped in the hospital gift shop and grabbed the fluffiest pink and white teddy bear sitting in the window. He had told the cashier that his daughter had just been born and showed off the photo of Jo and Isla that was already his phone lock screen.

And then he’d gone upstairs, the missing robe and teddy bear tumbling from his hands as he found an empty bed and bassinet, Jo and Isla’s bags gone from the room that they’d occupied not even an hour before when he’d left. He’d asked every nurse and doctor on shift but no one had an answer for him. When he finally made it back to the room, he saw the note hastily scribbled across a spare piece of paper, his knees giving way as he read the words printed in Jo’s recognizable script.

I couldn’t let him find us, I’m so sorry. Please don’t worry, we’re safe.

Love you always.

J & I

He’d sat on the floor of the hospital room until Meredith had come to collect him at the bidding of the nurses on the floor. She’d given him a sympathetic look and held him as he cried, only letting his guard down for his closest friend.

The reality hadn’t truly sunk in until he came home later that night to an empty loft filled with baby gear and the scent of Jo lingering on every surface. He’d screamed then, throwing pillows and couch cushions and anything he could find in an attempt to get some of his emotions out in the open.

It hadn’t helped though, the sadness he’d felt morphing into feelings of anger and helplessness. Alex knew that Jo was acting out of desperation, doing what she truly thought was right, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. No, his anger was directed at the man that had pushed her to that point, had scared her and haunted her every move so horribly that she’d fled Seattle with their newborn daughter in tow.

As he ignores Meredith for yet another day, Alex let his mind wander to Jo and Isla for a moment. He knows Jo would never run with their daughter if she didn’t have a plan to keep her safe, but just the knowledge that they were out there without him broke his heart.

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

His fingers press down the collar of the light blue button up once more before sliding the black suit jacket over it. He examines himself in the mirror of the hotel room one last time before turning to leave. He’d only been to Seattle once before for a medical conference, but this trip held a much more important air to it.

Brooke, his Brooke, was close. Closer than she’d ever been before and he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was delighted when he’d found her again, even more so when he found out that she was a doctor giving him the perfect opportunity to drop in on her. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he saw her.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

When Alex finally makes it back to work he’s met with an abundance of pitying looks and unhelpful comments. He knows most of his coworkers have good intentions but he’s in the verge of screaming at the next person who interacts with him. All he wants to do is work and try and forget that his daughter and the love of his life aren’t waiting for him at home like they should be.

“Alex! I have someone I want you to meet,” Arizona’s bubbly voice almost makes Alex roll his eyes, the blonde not doing much to improve his demeanor since he was in no mood to meet anyone new. “This is Doctor Paul Stadler, he’s an expert on laparoscopic surgery techniques which is always helpful when we have tiny humans to save.”

Alex can feel his blood run cold as he turns towards Arizona and the man standing next to her. Whatever picture he had painted in his head fades as he stares at the man in front of him. Despite his bright grin Alex knows exactly what Paul is capable of, what he had done and threatened to do to Jo.

“While I’d love to meet your whole team Doctor Robbins, I’m not here on business today. I’m looking for Doctor Wilson actually.”

“Oh,” Arizona’s face falls, gaze turning to Alex as his jaw tightens. “Actually she’s-“

“She’s gone, she left,” Alex’s voice has an edge that makes even him flinch at how harsh and cold it is.

Paul eyes Alex for a moment, looking him over before speaking again, “That’s unfortunate. Would you happen to know where she is? I’d love to speak with her.”

“Well get in line then because I've been waiting for her to come home for the past three weeks,” Alex slams the iPad in his hands onto the counter of the nurses station, eyes ablaze as he stares Paul down. “You harassed her for months on end and scared her so much that she ran away with our daughter hours after giving birth.”

Paul attempts to conceal the smirk on his face but fails, causing Alex to step towards him with clenched fists. Arizona steps between the two men, fixing Alex with a hard stare.

“Back up Alex. I know that you’re upset about Jo but-“

“But nothing! He’s the reason my girlfriend and daughter are gone!”

“Okay why don’t you take the rest of the day off,” Arizona’s hands squeezing his shoulders finally breaks Alex’s gaze away from Paul whose face has broken into a full on shit eating grin. Arizona and Alex exchange a look and he can tell she’s holding back her anger now as well. “Alex, go home.”

How can I when they’re not there?

The question echoes in his mind the whole drive back to the loft, Alex’s heart constricting as he sat on the edge of his and Jo’s bed. The loft was still empty, sounds still echoing off the walls as he sat alone. His mind brings up the image of Jo and Isla sitting in their hospital room as he walked away, not knowing that was the last time he’d see them.

He leans forward, reaching into his dresser and rummages around his sock drawer for a minute before pulling out a velvet box. When Jo had told him she was pregnant he’d immediately gone out and bought the ring. Not because of Isla, but because starting a family with Jo was all the confirmation he needed that she was it for him. Now the box sat collecting dust in his drawer, it’s future uncertain as he wondered exactly where Jo was.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

“And this is your daddy and your Auntie Meredith. They love you so much,” despite knowing that the infant couldn’t understand what she said or even clearly see the photo she had pulled up on her phone, Jo made sure that Isla knew about all of the people they loved in Seattle. “Your daddy misses you so much, baby girl. I’m sorry I took you away from him, I know that makes me a crappy mom.”

“You’re not a crappy mom,” Jo looks from Isla to the man sitting next to her, his hand settling on her shoulder as he fixes her with a knowing look. “You did what you had to do.”

“Some days it doesn’t feel like that,” Jo sighs, her head falling to his shoulder as she fights back tears. “I took her from her dad! I took her away from the only family she’ll ever have, Link. And why? Because I’m scared?”

Link pulls back from Jo, meeting her eyes as he speaks, “You had every reason to run, you know that. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, I wouldn’t want to worry about that all the time if I were you. Especially with a newborn, I get it. So don’t feel too bad for yourself, I think you made the right choice.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

“Jo?”

The lights in the loft are off but Jo’s car is parked out front. When he switches the lights on Alex sees Jo shoving clothes into a tote bag, tear stains tracking down her cheeks.

“Jo what are you doing?”

"I'm going to Stephanie’s for a few nights, just until I can figure things out.”

Jo’s voice is nervous and she's talking a mile a minute. She still hasn't looked up at Alex but he can see the bright red hives cropping up on her neck already.

"I'm sorry it was an accident but I’m going to

fix it. It's my fault, I'll fix it!”

"What are you talking about,” despite the fact that he's spoken up more than once Jo seems to be in a world of her own.

“Don't worry about it, you don't need more stress,” Jo’s hands are shaking as she closes the bag she's holding. "It's still early, it'll be an easy fix. I'm going to fix it, I have an appointment scheduled."

It clicks for Alex then just exactly what Jo is talking about. He sinks to his knees next to her tilting her chin up so she’ll finally look at him.

“Are you pregnant?”

"I'm sorry, I missed my birth control it was an accident," Jo’s tone is frantic now as more tears begin to fall. "I have an appointment, I'm going to fix it-“

"Jo slow down, I'm not mad so stop apologizing,” Alex wiped at the tears that had collected on Jo’s cheeks. "You don't want our baby?”

Jo blinked up at Alex as if nothing he was saying was making sense to her.

“What's actually the matter Jo? Why were you so scared to tell me?"

“I… I'm married."

“What?"

“I'm married to a guy who nearly beat me to death. And when I got pregnant I thought he'd

be happy and maybe he'd let up, instead he yelled and screamed and then he,” Jo pauses, eyes downcast as she looks down at her hands. “When he was done with me for the night I wasn't pregnant anymore.

“He wouldn't let me get birth control though so the next time I just solved the problem quietly. And when it happened a third time I ran. I ran and changed my name and never turned back,” Jo finally looks up and meets Alex’s gaze, eyes watery still as he watches her. “I had a miscarraige that time, probably because of how banged up I was. But it got me out of there. So when I started having the same symptoms again I freaked out.”

“Oh Jo…”

“Alex, I’m terrified of my past and of losing you and losing this baby… I’ve already lost far too much. I don’t want to lose any more.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m all in with you even if it means we never get married. You and this baby mean everything to me. That is if you want it.”

“Of course I do, I want this more than anything. I want kids with you, I really do but…”

“Okay then we’ll do it.”

“Really? You dont think I’m too damaged or crazy?”

“Yes Jo, I want all of that,” Alex pulled Jo into his lap, placing a hand over her stomach as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you and you’re just about the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

The room is spinning when she pries her eyes open, dried blood making the task difficult. She tries to sit up, but the pain radiating from her stomach keeps her down. She knows if she moves she’ll make it worse, but her body is in pain and she can’t lay in this position much longer.

As soon as she makes a move, the pain is back. She thinks it’s his foot that’s making contact with her ribs now, digging into her back as her body curls in on itself.

“Stop! Please!”

The cries are useless, they always are, but she hopes that maybe they’ll convince him to end her suffering sooner or throw the next punch a little softer.

“Please stop! Stop!”

Her shoulders are shaking as she blinks her eyes open again, a pair of blue eyes staring down at her in concern.

“It was just a nightmare, you’re okay and you’re safe,” Link’s words help to steady her heartbeat a little, her eyes moving to Isla who's peacefully sleeping in his arms. “I woke you up because I just turned the news on. Take a look.”

“Former Harvard University professor Paul Stadler was arrested early yesterday morning on charges of battery and assault against his girlfriend, who is still being treated for her injuries at Massachusetts General Hospital. Since his arrest, three more women have come forward with allegations against Stadler ranging from ongoing harassment to physical violence and sexual assault. Boston PD is asking any other victims to contact them at this time.”

Jo stares blankly at the television in front of her, eyes welling with tears as the news footage continues to roll. She wasn’t alone and she was so close to being free from Paul’s hold on her.

“You have to go to Boston, your testimony could put him away,” Link’s voice snaps her out of her reverie, eyes moving from the television to him. “Jo, he’s going to prison. You can finally be free.”

The hope that had ignited her heart just moments earlier was crushed as she played through the possibilities before her. What if she testified and Paul wasn’t put in prison? What if he continued to harass her? What if he hurt Isla? Or Alex?

“I can’t. I can’t face him again… There's too much on the line,” Jo looks away from Link, her tears finally falling. “I have too much to lose.”

“And you’ll be stuck right here if you don’t do anything!”

“At least I’ll be safe then.”

“And what about Alex? You’re okay never seeing him again? Never letting Isla see him?”

Jo stands suddenly, facing Link with an angry expression, “You don’t get to make the calls here Link! I appreciate everything you’ve done for us but I can’t risk everything when there’s not a guarantee that it’ll end up well.”

Jo storms out of the room then, complex emotions overwhelming her as she sinks into her bed. She wishes things were easier, were more black and white instead of the fuzzy grey she’d become so accustomed to. But they aren’t, they never would be with Paul and now she’d dragged Alex and Isla and even Link into the pools of grey she’d spent so long trying to avoid.

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

Alex watched his phone ring for a moment, debating on picking up at all. He doesn’t recognize the number and he doesn’t know anyone from California. But he still clicks the green accept button, hoping whoever it was wasn’t going to waste his time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m so glad you picked up.”

Alex freezes, stares at his phone for a moment, then brings it back up to his ear, “Jo? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” there’s a long pause and Alex almost thinks she’s hung up before she begins to cry. “I’m so sorry Alex. I’m so sorry we left you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know, I get why you left. I hate it but I understand,” a sigh leaves him as he rests his head against the wall next to him, tears forming in his eyes as well, “Are you okay?”

“Yes we’re both fine, I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have somewhere safe to run to,” Jo sucks in a breath, as if her next words are taking everything out of her. “Paul is going to prison.”

“I know, I saw. Are you going to testify?”

“I don’t know. I want to but… There's too much at risk. I don’t want him to hurt you or Isla.”

Just the sound of his daughter's name tugs at Alex’s heart, the tears that had been welling in his eyes spilling onto his cheeks.

“If you don’t go you’re going to be living in fear for the rest of your life. But if you do, you can get closure. And you can save more people from getting hurt by Paul.”

She lets his words sink in for a moment before he hears her voice again, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, you and Isla both,” Alex can hear shuffling in the background, a deep voice and then a small cry.

“I have to go, Alex.”

“Wait Jo-”

“I love you. We both do.”

“I love you too.”

The line goes dead then and Alex can’t help the sob that breaks from his chest. He misses Jo, misses Isla, misses the feeling of wholeness that came to him when he would climb into bed with Jo at the end of every day.

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

Alex doesn't know what drives him to fly to Boston, but he feels a small sense of relief when he sees Paul Stadler in the defendant's seat. A sick feeling makes itself at home in the pit of his stomach as he watches half a dozen women testify to the horrors that Paul had put them through, detailing the ways he had tormented them. Jo had never gone into detail to him but if what she went through was even half as bad as what he was hearing then he understood why she had gone to such extremes to hide from Paul.

He watches as the final woman testifies and finds her seat again, the courtroom silent except for the prosecuting attorneys whispering among themselves. Finally, one of the lawyers stands and addresses the courtroom, “Your honor, we’d like to call our final witness. The prosecution calls Brooke Elizabeth Stadler, now Josephine Alice Wilson, to the stand.”

Alex feels the air leave his lungs as he watches Jo approach the bench. Her hair is shorter and a dirty blonde color but she’s still the same woman he knows so well. The dark blue dress she’s wearing sways lightly as she takes the stand, stating her name and swearing in before she begins to give her testimony. Jo explains how she and Paul met, how they married, and then she goes into the abuse she endured. Alex listens to the detailed accounts she gives, accompanied by the numerous hospital reports.

“And then one day I got sick of it and I ran. I knew Paul would find me though so I fled the state and changed my name. I started a new life and I have a beautiful daughter,” Jo finally meets Alex’s gaze and he gets the overwhelming urge to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close. “But Paul found me again and he was threatening me so as soon as my daughter was born I ran again. I left behind my new life, the only place I’ve ever felt safe because I knew he would find me again and I couldn’t risk him hurting my daughter.”

The air in the courtroom is thick as Jo’s words sink in. Alex knows he’s not the only one who’s been affected by her testimony and the words of everyone that went before her. The prosecutor thanks Jo, the defending attorney waiving their right to question her. As she steps down from the stand she meets Alex’s gaze for a moment before turning away and going back to her seat.

And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

“Jurors, have you come to a decision?”

“We have your honor,” there’s a tense silence in the courtroom as the decision is handed off to the judge. “We find the defendant Paul Stadler guilty on all charges.” A breath of relief leaves Alex as he turns to look at Jo. There’s tears streaming down her face and the slightest hint of a smile as she looks at him. Before he can get up and go to her though she's surrounded by the other women who had testified, all of them crying in relief.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

She sees him about fifty feet in front of her, his back to her as he stands almost perfectly still. She watches him for a moment, his slumped shoulders and overall defeated attitude and for a moment she feels guilty for what she’s put him through in the past three months. Before she can dwell on the feeling for too long Alex is turning towards her, looking over her with that same sad expression he’d been wearing in the courtroom.

There’s a moment where all Jo and Alex do is stare at each other before she finds herself rushing forward and launching herself into his embrace. His arms are holding her tightly, refusing to let go even as she begins to cry into his chest.

This moment, the feeling of being in Alex’s arms again, is all Jo has wanted since she’d left Seattle.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

“Alex, I’m so-”

“Stop, you don't need to apologize to me,” Alex pulls back from Jo, one hand coming to cup her cheek. “I get it, I understand where you’re coming from. I know why you ran so don’t ever think of apologizing to me. I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

A fresh round of tears springs to Jo’s eyes as she looks up at Alex, “I don’t deserve you. I’ve put you through so much.” Alex blinks down at Jo, not believing what he’s hearing. Their relationship had never been one sided, they’d both supported each through tough situations and had come out stronger at the end. In his eyes this was nothing more than another speed bump.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you back Jo. I love you and all of this? None of it changes how I feel about you,” Alex leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Jo’s lips. “I love you and I’m glad you’re back in my arms.”

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

“Hey! I just heard the verdict!”

Jo turns at the sound of Link’s voice, a wide smile spreading across her face as her best friend comes into view. It’s not so much the blonde man’s presence that makes her grin as it is the infant in his arms. Isla is wide eyed as she looks at Jo, the three month old blinking up at her mother with a sense of wonder.

“Hi baby girl, I have someone who’s very excited to see you,” Jo eagerly takes her daughter from Link before turning and looking at Alex. “Isla say hi to daddy, he missed you sooo much.”

The look on Alex’s face as he takes Isla from Jo’s arms is priceless, tears welling in his eyes as he lets out a watery laugh. The little girl snuggles comfortably into his arms, as if she had done it a hundred times before and Jo can’t help her own tears as they leak onto her cheeks.

“You three get together, I think this moment needs to be remembered.” Alex and Jo both heed Link’s instruction and wipe their tears away to boast wide grins. The photo of the three of them squeezed together after a grueling ordeal graces their family mantle for years to come. Even when there are dozens of other family photos, pictures from Alex and Jo’s wedding, and the birth of their second daughter, the photo of Jo, Alex, and Isla standing in front of the courthouse in Boston remains the centerpiece of their living room as a reminder of the sacrifices they all made to keep their family together.

Look at how my tears ricochet

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[yourstrulylightstar283]

I’m Sorry I Couldn’t Keep You Safe

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Mrs. Michelle Moreno (My OFC (Original female character), Marcus’ second wife, Missy’s stepmom and Anita’s second daughter-in-law)

This fic contains:

· Marcus Moreno whump (Both physical and emotional one)

· Violence

· Blood

· Injuries

· Threats

· Deaths

· Hospital

· Angst

· Sadness

· Grief

· Loss

· Guilt

· Sad ending with some hurt/comfort

Author’s Note 1: mishasminion360, thank you very much for your help, I really appreciate it. ^^

Author’s Note 2: This fic has Marcus Moreno’s point-of-view.

Author’s Note 3: This fic is also setting in an alternate universe where Marcus has no superpowers but is still a master swordsman, martial artist and hand-to-hand combatant.

Author’s Note 4: The song recommendation for this fic – Hurts Likes Hell by Fleurie

Taglist: @mishasminion360 @pascalpanic @fentimochi @moralesispunk @bison-writes @honestly-shite @javi-djarins @waywardimpalawriter @tobealostwanderer @radiowallet @metalarmsandmanbuns @novemberrain221 @mudhorn-djarin19 @honey-dewey @littlemisspascal @poenariuniverse @nobodys-baby-now

Disclaimer:

I don’t own Marcus, Missy, Anita (Marcus’ mom) and We Can Be Heroes.

The fic, the concept of the fic and Mrs. Michelle Moreno (My OFC) (c) bat25wonder32super (Me)

Hurts Like Hell © Fleurie

I’m having a difficult battle against my enemy (My enemy doesn’t have any superpowers but she is a deadly martial artist, hand-to-hand combatant and knife fighter). I fight the best I can but my enemy manages to overpower me and kick me viciously in left side of my ribs, bruising and breaking two ribs in left side of my ribs. I cough up red blood and try to push myself up shakily as I groan in pain but I don’t have enough strength to.

I have bruises and cuts all over my face and body with one of my cheeks being swollen with a cut on it and one of my eyes being bruised and swollen half closed with my lips split and bleeding. Luckily, my nose and teeth are not broken. She prepares to finish me off with her knife, but my beloved, precious second wife and the second love of my life Michelle (Who witnessed my fight with worry, shock and horror) comes to save me and manages to beat her with a few punches and kicks. Michelle rushes to my side out of concern for me. Unfazed by her injuries, my enemy is ready to kill me with her knife again but Michelle bravely stands in front of her.

My enemy sadistically threatens Michelle. “Stay out of my way, if you don’t want to die painfully.” “I won’t let you hurt my precious, beloved husband anymore!” Michelle courageously stands up to her. Then Michelle turns to me and says with a sad smile, “Marcus, I love you so much. You, Missy and your mom were the best presents I had. Take care of Missy and your mom for me.” Then Michelle closes her eyes and my enemy stabs Michelle in the heart with her knife, killing her instantly, much to my shock, horror and grief.

“Michelle, no!” I scream Michelle’s name in grief. With the little strength I can muster, I get up and stab my enemy in the heart with one of my dual katanas, killing her. Then I collapse and crawl to Michelle and hold her hand. “M-Michelle, please don’t leave me… I love you… Please wake up, please come back…” I say tearfully to her with tears falling down my cheeks but she’s already dead. “A-After we married each other, we spent a wonderful time. You were kind, sweet, loving, cheerful and caring. You were also protective of me and you were always worried and afraid of losing me. Whenever I get hurt, you always took care of me and you were the best nurse to me. We made pizza with Missy and had it for dinner together. After that, we had our homemade brownies with ice cream on the top. We shared our love for flowers and you loved both healthy and unhealthy foods and were a sweet tooth who also loved cooking and baking. You liked your coffee sweet consisting a regular coffee with extra cream and extra sugar. My first wife and Missy’s first mom holds a special place in my heart and she always does. But she would’ve wanted me, Missy and my mom to move on. You came into our lives and made it the best one. But now you’re gone. You’re not coming back. Now I can’t see your kind and pretty eyes again, I can’t see your warm and beautiful smile again, I can’t hear your loving and sweet voice again and I-I even can’t fall asleep next to you ever again, it hurts so much and it’s all my fault, I’m sorry… I-I’m going to miss you so much… I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe… I’m sorry I couldn’t you keep you safe just like I couldn’t keep my first wife safe… I-I love you… I’m so sorry…” I continue to say tearfully as I cry softly. After saying these, I sob softly until I fall unconscious as help finally arrive and I’m rushed to the regular hospital where Michelle worked that is closed to the Heroics HQ while the coroners mournfully cover Michelle’s dead body with a white sheet and take her to the same hospital.

It’s been four days since I’m hospitalized. Even though the wounds are still here and there on my face and body, they’re mended and healing and even my bruised and broken two ribs are healing. I’m wearing nasal cannula under my nose to make myself to breathe easier, an IV on one of my forearms and the wires on my body.

I’m still grieving Michelle and I’m still feeling guilty for her death. My daughter Missy, despite her eyes being filled with tears, gently hug me with my mom hugging me gently too with both of them being careful not to hug him too tightly, knowing that I would still be hurt.

“Dad, I miss my moms both too and I’ll always miss them. But it’s not your fault and both of my moms wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” Missy reassures me with a kind voice.

“Missy’s right, dear. I miss them and I’ll always miss them too. But you shouldn’t blame yourself because it’s not your fault. It’s okay to miss them, it’s okay to cry. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” My mom gently comforts me.

“But it hurts, it hurts so much.” I tearfully confess with full of the emotional pain in my voice.

“We know, Marcus, dear. It’s okay to let it out.” My mom warmly says with patting my head gently.

I finally allow myself to shed silent tears as they fall down my cheeks and I let my feelings come out as I hug them back softly.

“You still have both of us, dad. You don’t have to face anything alone. We love you.” Missy whispers to me quietly but warmly.

All I can do is to say a quiet but tearful whisper, “Thank you, Missy, mom, I love you both too.”

I miss you, Michelle. I’m gonna take care of Missy and my mom for you, I promise. I love you.

The End.

[glycerine1122]

I fell asleep just now and I don’t know why. I slept a long time last night. But I guess the stress and mental exhaustion is unavoidable, even if it’s unnecessary, because it’s very likely that nothing that I think is actually real. I fell asleep and I dreamt that wild animals were chasing me and I was running and they were like programmed AI animals that were created to kill. They were chasing me down the gravel road in green castle that my dads house is on… I almost made it to the yard and then they caught me and they start ripping me apart. It was terrifying. I keep wondering what it was supposed to mean,

I know I’m going crazy. Probably..

It’s either I’m legit crazy or literally the most important people in my life know something that I don’t and are keeping the truth from me even at the expense of my sanity.

So I’m 99% sure I’m just crazy.

But I know that most likely if I’m not crazy then it must be pretty bad? I know the only reason it would be kept from me would have to be that the truth will damage me, more than even going crazy trying to figure out the truth is will.

So that’s got to be pretty bad… because I’m like dying over here.

In all seriousness, I’m dying.

Im starting to remind myself of my dad before he died. He got to a point where i was afraid he was going to die. I didn’t think it would ever be by his own hand.. but he was just so afflicted and mentally sick. He was destroying himself and he hated himrself for it. It broke my heart and I tried to help i tried to stop him... but I guess not hard enough.

It’s my karma, I think.

For letting my dad die.

He died alone. Just like how he lived.

I should have been there. I should have been a better daughter...I should have been a much better mother. Im so, so so sorry to all my loved ones. Im not giving up, I’m gong to fight it like Hell til the bitter end. I just don’t feel like that’s too long from now.

I really am going crazy and my family hates me. They really do and I think I am starting to hate them too.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom very much. Iv always had been closest with my dad growing up though. Sense hes gone I’ve been alone. I dont have family. They dont like me, they dont love me, they blame me for things that break my heart.

I’m around people, I can’t actually be my true self (or I’d always be just sitting and crying at corner) but because Im able to camouflage, I convince everyone it is okay and I’ll almost convince myself of that too....But it’s not ok. Im NOT okay. Following my dads suicide i think I forgot a lot. Maybe it’s some sort of defense mechanism in my brain but since I’ll be reminded of something really horrific or even somewhat horrific but enough to shock my fragile brain and I realize forget completely about what should be a pretty big deal.

I wonder how much else I have forgotten.

I wish I could make sense of it all, just so I had some sort of bearing of where I want to go from here. So i can decide for myself what would be good for me as person and also good for everyone around me.

The animals in my dreams are real.

But I don’t know if I am….

And I think the only thing I can do is be okay with that.

….And try not to miss him so much.

[toomuchtv95]

Life Saver

Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Wife!Reader

Warning/s: Poorly writing medical talk, Pregnancy, Fluff 

Word Count: 2.4k+ 

Request:  Hey can you do a reader wife x Jay halstead where she had gone to check on Pat halstead when the fire happened and she somehow manages to save him and take him med but due smoke inhalation she falls into coma and the test also show that she pregnant.

A/N: I hope you do mind that I changed up the request slightly and I also did change up the plot of the episode just because it made sense of how I writing this. 

Masterlist  Mobile Masterlist

Wednesday mornings were always a little hectic in the Halstead household. Wednesday mornings you usually head over to your father in-law’s apartment to do your weekly check-in with him since Jay and his father since still aren’t talking unless it involved yelling at each other. You and Pat had been doing these weekly meetups since you and Jay had started your relationship. Pat was welcoming to you which shocked both brothers considering he didn’t even get alone with his own sons.

“Morning.” You walked into the kitchen to see your husband pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Morning, beautiful.” Jay looked up at you with a smile on his face. A soft smile spread across your face as you placed a hand on his upper arm before leaning in and giving him a soft kiss. “Want something to eat?”

“No, I’m good. I’m grabbing bagels and coffee on the way to your dad's.” You kissed his cheek as you walked over to the kitchen table to grab your gun and badge, but your work phone was missing which was weird cause that was you left it last night. “Have you seen my-” You turned around to see Jay standing next to you with your phone in his hand.

“Right, today’s Wednesday.” Jay handed you your phone before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, it usually comes after Tuesday.” You smiled at him while shoving your phone in your pocket, before clipping both your gun and badge to your waistband.

“Are you-”

“Don’t start with me.” You leaned forward and kissed his cheek before turning and leaving the kitchen with Jay close on your tail. Walking towards the front door, you grabbed your coat from the coat rack and turned around to see Jay leaning against the railing of the stairs leading upstairs. “I gotta go.” You stepped closer to Jay before leaning forward and connecting your lips to his. Jay placed his free hand on your upper arm pulling you as close as he can to him.

After a moment, Jay pulled away and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You peaked his lips one last time before pulling back. “Okay, I need to go now.” You grabbed your keys off the table near the front door before opening the door to leave.

“Be safe out there.”

“Right back at you.” You turn around with a smile on your face.

“I don’t understand.” Jay stood outside of your hospital room with his brother Will, who was trying to explain to his brother your condition.

“Because of all the smoke she took in, it caused some inflammation around her airway and lungs. When they brought her in, she was already struggling to breathe.” Will reached over to place a hand on his brother's shoulder for comfort. “The only way to help her heal and breath was to put her in medically induce a coma.”

“A coma?” Jay was still confused about what was happening. “Is she going to wake up?” Tears formed in his eyes as he glanced over at your body that had wires connected to machines and a tube down your throat to help you breathe.

“She needs time for the swelling to go down around her airway before we can wake her up. She on a bunch of medicine to help. We are hoping that it’s no longer than a week.” Will looked at Jay who was on the verge of a breakdown and the other new he had to share he wasn’t sure how he would take it. “There’s more.”

“What do you mean there’s more?” Jay was aggravated not at his brother, not at you, just at the situation. He never imagined that this could happen. Sure, you’ve been shot at, broke bones, consciousness, and everything else the job came with, but never this.

“There is some good news out of this.” Will looked over at your body with a small smile on his face. “Her blood work came back, and everything came back in range for her condition except for one thing.” Jay looked at his brother waiting for the shoe to drop. What else could he possibly have to say to make this better? “Y/N is pregnant. She’s about 6 weeks along.”

“Wait what?” Jay was in complete shock because the two of you weren’t even trying for kids at least not anytime soon. Sure, the two of talked about kids and you both wanted them but the two you just got married within the last years and still were enjoying being married and just the two of you.

“You’re going to be a father, Jay.”

Jay couldn’t even wrap his head around what was happening, and once Jay turned to look at his wife, it hit him. “I’m going to be a father,” Jay whispered. “Wait, if she’s in a coma and-”

“The pregnancy is early enough to where the smoke inhalation didn’t do any damage to the baby. And for her being in a coma, it won’t do any harm to the baby either.” With that said, Will’s pager went off, notifying him he was needed back in the ED. “She got all those people off that floor, including dad. And before you go on a rampage, know that no matter who was on that floor she would have done it regardless. It’s her job as the first responder to jump into action.” Before leaving Will pulled Jay into a hug before letting him know that he would be back later to check on her.

Taking a deep breath, Jay walked into your room and stared at your lifeless body. Grabbing the chair, he pulled it over to the side of the bed and took your hand. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but Will says that you might.” He closed his eyes as he tried to hold back his tears. “I love you so much and need you to pull through this. I need you. You are my lifesaver. If it weren’t for you, I would still be in that dark hole that I was digging myself into.” His chest heaved with a quiet sob, and tears welled up behind his eyelids, slipping down his cheeks without resistance.

“On the bright side of all of this, Will did deliver some shocking yet good news.” Jay squeezed your hand tighter. “It looks like it’s not just gonna be the two of us anymore.” A small smile formed on his face as he thought about becoming a father. “So, you need to make it out of this because I can’t do this alone.”

It’s been almost a week since you were brought into Med and you were still in a coma, but Will assured Jay that things are moving in the right direction. A couple of days ago, they had taken the breathing tube out, because the swelling around your airway had gone down enough to were you were breathing on your own. There was still some swelling around your lungs, but the medication you were on was helping and it was going to take some time for it to heal. On a positive note, today was the day they were going to wake you up because of all your vital signs where they were needed to be to wake you. They had a few hours until they were going to wake up, so Jay decided to run around and get some errands done.

“Here again, pops?” Will walked into your room to check on you when he saw his father sitting in the chair next to your bed. Ever since you been in the hospital, Pat had to visit you every day and just sat there with you. Since the fire Jay and his father have gotten along a lot better than they used to. Pat was thrilled to learn that he was going to a grandfather and being trapped in that fire, just made him realize that life is to short to be picking stupid fights with his sons.

“Well, I wanted to be here when they woke her up.” Pat placed the newspaper he was reading down on the table near the bed before looking up at his son.

“It’s gonna be a couple of hours.” Will walked over to the machines to record your vitals.

“I don’t mind,” with that said, Will mentioned to his father that Jay should be here in a little bit before disappearing to treat his other patients. Pat looked over at you with a small smile on his face. “I know I’ve never said this before but I’m glad you came into Jay’s life when you did. If it weren’t for you, he would still be in a dark place. When he returned from the war he was in a dark place and then you came around and his whole world was flipped around. I’m just glad that he manned up and told you how he felt.” Pat let out a dry chuckle at the last part. “I’m glad I have you as a daughter and I couldn’t be more thrilled to become a grandfather.”

Hours passed and it was finally time to wake you up and Jay was more than ready. “Once we lighten the sedation, she may or may not wake up right away, it’s perfectly normal. It could take a while.” Will handed Jay the paper for his consent. Once Jay signed the papers, Will motions for the nurse to inject the medicine into your IV. “I’m going to go find dad. He wanted to hear when she woke up. Give it time. She will wake up.” Will patted his shoulder as he left Jay alone with his wife.

20mins passed and you were still not awake, but Jay was staying positive. Jay was staring out the window with his arms folded against his chest. “Jay…” Jay snapped his head in your direction and when he saw that you were awake, he sprinted over to you. You glanced over at the water on the bedside table which Jay took as his cue to give you some water.

After taking a few sips of water, Jay put the cup back on the table and stood by your bedside while stroking your hair. “What happened?” You spoke in a low tone almost a whisper.

“You’re at med.” Jay sat on the edge of your bed holding your hand. “Do you remember what happen?”

“I remember I was having breakfast with your dad and then there was a fire.” You let out a soft cough which caused your throat to ache. “Then I remember the ambulance ride to med, but that’s about it. How long was I out for?”

“Sweetheart,” Jay's face softened, and you knew Jay too well to know that something was wrong.

“What is it, Jay?”

“There’s no easy way to tell you this,” Jay took a deep into your eyes before continuing. “Because of the smoke you took it, both your airway and lungs were inflamed. You were struggling to breathe when you came into the ED and the only way to help you breathe and heal was to put you in a medically induced coma.”

A coma? How long have you been out for then? “Jay, how long?” You weren’t sure you wanted to know, but you knew you had to know.

“A week,” you were in complete shock. You struggled to sit up on your own, so Jay lightly grabbed your one arm and used his other arm to place behind your back to gently move you to sit up.

“How’s your dad? Is he okay?” Jay gave you a soft small, knowing that was going to be your first question. You always put other people’s needs before you, which was one of the reasons why fell in love with you all those years ago.

“He’s fine. Suffered a little smoke inhalation. He was here every day for the last week, sitting here with you.” Jay reached over and stroked your cheek with his thumb before moving a strand of hair behind your ear. “When I heard about the fire at dad’s apartment building, I got really worried. I thought I was going to lose you.” You could sense that Jay was holding back something else and just as you about to ask, Jay spoke up. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

“Jay whatever it-”

“We are going to be parents sooner then we planned.” You looked at Jay with confusion. “Your about 7 weeks along. And before you started panicking about the health of the baby because of the smoke, Will said that the baby is perfectly healthy.”

As you sat there, tears formed in your eyes not out of sadness but out of joy. You looked up at Jay and all you could do was use whatever strength you had in you to pull Jay in for a passionate kiss. Jay returns the kiss with everything he had. After a moment, Jay pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against yours.

“We are going to be a family.” You rested your hand on his cheek before planted another soft kiss on lips. “I love you, Jay.”

“I love you, more.”