#every evening i tell myself im going to go to bed early and actually get sleep for my morning classes

[beremy-from-trigun]

song: yeah yeah yeah v2 by jack conte

[juanbodyswapstfs]

Being my Uncle John.

Every year, On the 1st day of the six month, 2 males in Jacks family switch bodies for a month. Unfortunate for Jack, he is a male. But fortunate enough for him, he has never been switched, but this year would be different.

1 day before.

“Aw cmon bud its not that bad.” “You have never been switched before anyways.” said my Dad. “I know but what if this year is different?” I said. “Like I said, Its not that bad.” “Unless your luck runs out and you get switched for many years in a row like your Uncle mark.” “But that’ll never happen ha.” said my dad with a unsure tone. “Yeah I guess your right.” “How have you switched with before dad?” I said. “Oh I switched many times haha, With your uncle Mark, your uncle Tom, and even your grandpa Joe! hahaha.” “But for some reason your uncle John has never switched, lucky son of a bastard.” Im really hoping I don’t get switced but something inside of me wants me too. Just the thought of being a real man, just feels so right. Now its time to go to Bed and wake up as myself or even one of my uncles, I really hope I switch with one of my Uncles it just feels right.

The next day,

As I woke up, I knew something wasn’t right, it felt like my cock and everything else has doubled in size, I mean WOW, this cock is really huge! I mean i like girls and all but im way more attracted to men. I stood up on the side of the bed and just admired the manly body im in, as i looked closer I realized im in the body of my uncle John, which has also never been switched.

I was having fun being in this big body, but then I realized im gonna have to be John, he has a life, job, and even husband! good thing his husband is on a business trip and gets back on the day we switch back. I decided to call my “nephew”. “Yo how ya doing bud?” I said with a grin. “Im doing great Uncle John!” “How do you like being a man?” said Uncle John. “Amazing, how do you like being a teenager again?” I said. “Ha you are exactly how I was when I was a teenager.” Uncle John said. “Ok now lets get serious, how do I become you?” I said. “Ok first thing off, I have a job at the gym as a trainer, they should know what to do just hype them up.” “My husband is on a business trip so he shouldn’t be a problem, pretty easy right?” Uncle John said. “Yeah not so bad after all.” I then tell Uncle John how to pass as me and we eventually hang up. I now got dressed and jerked off before I headed to the Gym. It was amazing how much this body can come and how big my balls are now.

At the Gym I got greeted by some muscular men, which I tried to hide my boner from. Turns out I was pretty good as a trainer, It was like I’ve been doing this my whole life! After my shift, I decided to go take a sneak peek at the locker room, I mean just a peak right? Then I saw a guy with his package out and couldn’t help get cum a little. I mean, if John didn’t have a husband I would totally help him out. I then headed home and took a hot warm bath and played with my cock. I then went to bed. It’s pretty fun being uncle John I wish I could be him forever.

The next day,

Its now the next day and I woke up with a huge morning wood. It was the weekend which means I didn’t have to go to work and had the whole day to myself! But then I got a call from my husband, “Hey John, im coming back early in the afternoon can we have some.. alone time?” said my husband Joseph. “Of course my love, anything for you.” I said. “How is your families swap going? Do you know who switched?” Joseph said. “Uh no actually.” I said. “Okay well get ready for when I come back!” “definitely” I said then hanged up. I know how bad it seems lying but I just wanna feel how this body would be during sex.

In the afternoon,

As I was getting ready for uncle Johns husband to come back I got a call from uncle John, “Hey “Uncle John” is Joseph coming from home from his trip early?” Said Uncle john. “No he hasn’t called me or anything why?” I said lying. “Just wondering, If he is, please don’t do anything with him please.” Uncle John said. “Gotcha nephew.” I said and then hanged up. I felt bad lying to Uncle John but I just wanna experience getting fucked in this big manly body. An hour later Joseph knocked on the door and greeted me. “Hey babe, I’ve missed you and your big manly ass.” Joseph said. “I missed you too and that big monster.” I said. I knew it was wrong what I was doing but it was natural for some reason. Joseph then proceeds to take of his shoes and puts his feet on the coffee table. “Babe you know what to do.”Joseph said in a stern voice. “Oh yes master.” I said obeying his orders. I get down on my knees and lick his big manly feet.

He then proceeded to Unbuckle his pants.

“Now suck my cock boy.” “Yes sir.” I started sucking my “husbands” cock and loved the feeling. I loved being commanded by a big man and obeying him, I could do this forever.

“Now roll over and let me fuck your ass.” He then fucked my ass and I could feel the hot cum. “Good boy, Now continue to lick my feet and my armpits.”

We continued for about 18 minutes, I really did love him and could live happily with him forever. If only I could stay in this body forever. Joseph then left the store and Uncle John called me. “Hey uncle the switch is almost over, and be honest, did you jerk off or have sex in my body its important beca-” “I jerked off in your body and had sex with your husband im sorry I didn’t mean to.” I said regretting everything I have done. “YOU DID WHAT. NOW WE CANT SWITCH BACK.” Said my nephew angrily. But then I realized that this means my “uncle” is now my nephew, so I had more authority over him and he should obey me. “I don’t know who your talking to young man, but that is not a way to talk to your uncle John.” “The closest thing you get to this body is me fucking your teenager ass.” I said with a stern voice. I then hanged up and jerked off to the fact that im now John. I admired every inch of my body until Joseph came back. When he comes back im not gonna be the servant, Im gonna fuck his ass and command him to suck my dick.

[shurisbathwater]

𝖥𝖤𝖤𝖫 𝖬𝖤 𝖨𝖨 . ☆

❝ 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗎𝗉 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗇𝖾, 𝗌𝗁𝗎𝗋𝗂. ❞

Toxic!shuri x black fem! Reader

W a r n i n g s

smut

X t r a s

Filler again as I work on sum

T a g s :

@letitias-fav

-𝐘𝐎𝐔 called Shuri for the millionth time, just for no answer back. You knew she was seeing it all as she declined most of them. After you guys made up last time, she would only come home when once every two weeks or so. It was draining for you, but you also knew that she was getting her pleasure somewhere else though she claimed she ended it. You just missed your lover.

You knew that Shuri can be a compulsive liar even when she was in the wrong. You looked at the lunch you got for her sitting on the kitchen island. You pick it up and grab your car keys. You unlock your door and head to the parking garage.

"Griot, text shuri please." You commanded the ai. "Of course y/n." The robot replied.

You

I picked up some lunch, im otw

Shuri

No need

I'm not hungry

You

I'm already on the way

Shuri

Then turn around tf?

I dont need any distractions rn.

Yeah, she was definitely hiding something. What's going on? Instead of turning around, you continue to drive to the laboratory.

You turned up there in less than ten minutes. You open the car and ask Griot to lock it. It does what its told and you enter the big area.

You took the escalator up to her lab and walked up to the big glass doors. You open the door and look around for Shuri.

There she was, Shuri was at her desk probably writing a formula and something. "Hey." You take a seat at the other side of the desk.

She looks up from her paper and gives you a dirty look. "What did I tell you about coming at unwanted times?" She rolls her eyes as she said it. "I know but..I just missed you." You pouted. She sighs and her opens her mouth to reply- but before she could say anything her phone started ringing.

The contact name was 'Lab partner' . Shuri doesn't have a lab partner, she always likes to work independently. "You never told me about a lab partner?" You furrow your brows. "Dont worry about it." She says as she flips the phone over to its backside. "Pick up the phone? If its your lab partner." You look her dead in the eye.

"Pick up the phone shuri."

She looked away, irritated. "I said don't worry about it." She replies. "I'll be home early." She says , trying to change the subject .

"Mmh." You mumble as you get up from her seat. You leave the lunch on the table and make your way out of here.

Somethings up.

And you need to figure out what it is.

ᘛ ᘚ

-𝐘𝐎𝐔 watched your phone that was charging on the night stand, contemplating if you should just call or maybe she was being truthful. It was about to go to midnight, and yet you were up waiting for her. You put your hands in your lap for a second, until you realised you couldn't have self control this one time.

You called again.

And again.

You sigh out of frustration as you call one more time. Third times a charm, right? True- because she answered this time. "I thought you were coming home early." You speak into the phone.

"I am. Gimme like an hour." She grunts. "I cant take it baby." Someone moaned in the background. Your eyes widen as you decline the call out of shock and blink back tears. Here she was, lying to you again and again. But the funny thing is that she knows you'll come back every single time. You called Your friend Riri and she answered in less than a second.

"Do you mind if I come over, Riri?" Your voice cracks.

"Are you okay love? Of course you can come."

You get up from your bed and rushed out of your bedroom. You grabbed your car keys and headed out again.

Once you reached Riri's apartment, you knocked on the door softly. She answers the door quickly. You bite your lip as she looks at you with sad eyes. "Cmere." She puts her arm around you and walks you to the living room.

"And then she..she told me it was over and I actually believed her. I cant believe id let myself be so gullible, Riri." Your voice trembled. You put your head on her shoulder and she wraps her arm around you.

To be honest, you and Riri had a friends with benefits situation. You both wanted eachother but she respected you and Shuris relationship.

She looks at you with sad eyes.

"I'm going to do something i regret, but I dont care." Her brown eyes darken.

ᘛ ᘚ

"Shit, Riri." You breathed out as she gave you sloppy kisses on your jaw, all the way down to your collarbone. She opened your legs and started to rub the spot between your legs. You gasped out of pleasure."Please, Riri." You moaned. Suddenly your phone started to vibrate, and to your surprise it was Shuri.

"Answer." She commands as you grab your phone and answer.

"Where are you?" She asked. "I'm.." you bite your tongue to stiffle your moans. "What?" Riri starts to slip off your sweat pants slowly.

"I'll be home soon." You managed to get the sentence out.

A/n: ntm on the smut ik its ....Chile anyway hope u enjoyed!

[sophswritingthings]

ruin my life -- chapter 1

| warning(s): light swearing |

| a/n: modern mizu had such a grip on me, and now were here. |

| summary: an overlook into mizu's life before you enter it. |

| song rec: ruin my life -- zolita (for the story, in general) |

| word count: 776 words / 4,211 characters |

______________________________________________________________

mizu always kept to herself, she was never the loud type. always played a background role, even if people thought she should be in the spotlight.

never had she believed that before she met eiji.

eiji was an alumni at her school.. one of the many famous actors the school had produced. the amount of actors they had produced is why she really wanted to go to the school, in the first place.

and meeting him kind of changed her whole perception of her own talent, of her own mind. if someone who was so great could tell her all these great things about herself, they were true, surely.

"listen here, kid, nobody ever did anything by sitting on their ass and never getting anything done," he furrowed his eyebrows as they walked side by side, through the halls of the marbled school. "I know that better than anyone. you remind me of myself, when I went here."

she arched one eyebrow, "how come? im.. nothing like you, I mean.. you're this great actor and im just.. a college student who can barley pay their own tuition."

he gently gripped her shoulder, nodding, "exactly. do you think I was some great guy while I was in college? I didn't come from riches, kid, I could barley pay for this college when I was your age."

she adverted her gaze, a little sigh leaving her lips, "suppose that's true," mizu mumbled.

"and ive heard you do fencing," he tapped his cane against the ground, "as did i."

"oh--yeah. yeah, I know," a small smile crossed her lips. "its part of the reason I wanted to start. sort of, I guess."

"its a noble practice," he nodded, smiling a bit. "may I request to meet you, again, mizu? after your classes, tomorrow."

her eyes widened, gazing at him. someone as great as him, wanted anything to do with them?

"um, uh, yes." she stammered, "I'll meet you here."

and from then on, that's what they'd do. hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks that she would meet eiji for both fencing practice, and acting/college advice.

eiji was basically the father she had never had, someone to inspire her, push her forward.

her college life had improved, a little. not by much, but a little. she still lived in a small-ass college dorm with three other girls, sharing two sets of bunk beds in the room the size of a walk in closet.

"mizu? hey?" one of the girls, carrie, seemed to take an interest in her early. and of course, she had settled on the top bunk of mizu's bed. the girl popped down, swinging her head over mizu's bed. "you doin' anything tomorrow? me and some friends were going out and--"

mizu's head had almost immediately blocked out any word she said. she didn't want anything to do with this girl, nor what she was offering. she seemed to be the kind of girl to cling and never leave, and she was not about that. she'd come home crying over some new girl every week, she could guess, crying that they said she was "too clingy".

"uh--yeah. im working," mizu hissed, never looking up from her phone.

that wasn't a lie, actually, she had work at her average pay job as a barista. she had been working there ever since she got accepted into the college, how else would she pa her tuition?

not that it helped, much, it wasn't the best pay ever. and her tuition was more than 50,000 dollars a year--she was going to be in debt for more days than she thought she could count. but if she managed (and hopefully she would, with eijis help) to get a good gig, or few, she could pay it off in no time.

the coffee shop wasn't too bad, though. customers were usually quiet, besides the few that would come in every so often. she'd get okay tips, considering she tried to be as respectful as she could.

she had her friends. none of which attended the same school--they all had different majors. whom she considered her best friend, akemi, was in harvard law school miles away from them. taigen had gotten into law school, too, just not the same. (he definitely wasn't smart enough for harvard, that's for sure.) and ringo, the sweet culinary major she'd met going out for drinks, one night, with akemi. he was a mixologist, and despite his lack of hands--he was a wonderful one.

her life was calm. her life was quiet.

there was never anything absolutely interesting, about it.

that was--until you walked into it.

______________________________________________________________

[skunkes]

sorry if this is a silly question but do you like. sit down and talk with your ocs in your head? and they tell you about themselves? how do you get them to reveal information....i am begging mine to let me know them orz

I do! In several different ways ^_^ the trick is to think of yourself as a character in your brain theater... ill mostly be explaining thru examples and using silly language ^_^ and its more How I Do It vs a how to....

"Sitting down and talking to em" interrogation style only happens before they're fully formed. when talon still didnt have very many traits it was like we were in a white room with 2 chairs... although you COULD make a scenario out of this its usually the Before for me. final tweaks in the form of basic traits and info before sending em out for further development

the way i get ocs to tell me about themselves is more thru actions! with talon I "locked him in a room" with al in the form of imagining how they'd meet. because I set it in talon's decrepit home with no running water or electricity, there come questions like. would he be accommodating? would he explain the vampirism or just rely on flashing his fangs or hiding them until its time to bite? these arent questions i actually went into the scenario having, but as you Play Dolls its questions that get answered anyway, ykwim? (although you could also go into the simulation (lol) with questions you want answered!) And its your brain so you can do as many takes and tweaks as you want, and things develop as you imagine the same thing, or different things, which all inform a character.

Scenarios could be anything. Im a serial daydreamer so anything goes depending on how bored I am or what im doing... and just like with real people, every scenario is a way to learn more about somebody...! It's like improv in your brain as you think up how they'd react and respond to things, and what they'd say. But also, going with your oc to the grocery store or a restaurant or to slay a dragon could give you insight into their behavior but likely not any info about their trauma or whatever, just like real people (but it also depends on the person) (and the oc!)

I DO have "sit down and talk" scenarios once i feel ive learned enough standard, early level friendship stuff about em though. It's much fun if you set the scene in your mind to mimic a real life Deep Conversation session. Sitting in the backyard on those plastic chairs, or aimless car ride at night. right now the one I keep going back to is just. Loafed in bed when you're really sleepy and just starting to say anything about anything and maybe get a little sentimental. sometimes its just me talking but I obvs have the ability to imagine how he'd be interpreting that in his brain, ykwim?? You play several roles at once I guess. It's like the sims, switching back and forth between povs, but the level of immersion i get into never feels like I'm Making Them Say It, it just feels natural at that point because I've learned enough.

There's also information that's shared by you figuring out what they'd Think (as above) vs what they say which is also fun characterwise... AND ALSO while im daydreaming scenarios I do multiple takes to find their voice. Like, I'm an overexplainer, a detailed therapy-speak-er. Sometimes I catch myself giving ocs that Voice and I have to do a retake. Like hold on, Talon would NOT be introspective. He wouldn't share all that shit I just "made" him say even if it is true and now I know about it. He'd say something insanely vague and confusing if anything at all. Let's take it from the top. etc

It rlly is about immersion! You have to have fun with it! Sometimes it's so Real to me that I genuinely can't develop an oc further because I cant make something up for them and they wont "tell me", which means I just have to spend more time with em I guess! or maybe need to leave em alone for a bit. or maybe ill never know (<- which also tells me about em!) just like real people. treat the fake people like real people in your fake dollhouse brain theater sims lot puppet show simulation.... also i added more in the tags bc i didnt know where to put it in the main txt 😭

[elijahsvampylover]

i hope you got your happy ending p.2

Elijah mikealson x reader

Warnings- jealous!hayley

Summary- You and Elijah were lovers back in 1820. He left you one night because Mikeal was after them. You moved on, found a boyfriend and got pregnant of twingirls. He didnt want children so you stayed as an single mother. A few years later, you go on an small vacation with your girls. When your looking for an restaurant, you bump into an strange men, someone you expected never too see again.

PS : English is not my first language and im not the best writer, please be respectful and if you dont like this story leave.

thankyouu already xx me

''Elijah.''

As i have an shocked look on my face, i hear one of my daughters say. 'Mommy who is that?'' Aliyah asked. Elijah was still locking eyes with me. ''An old friend baby.'' I answer as her. ''Y/n'' He said, After that i looked away. "Mommy im hungry.'' Stormi said. ''Yes we'll get something to eat.'' When i turn away from her, i see that Elijah has sped away. I look around but he was gone. He left again, without saying a word.

As we eated, we walked back to the hotel. I couldn't get it off my mind, i saw him, he stood right in front of me. ''Mommy look, icecream!'' Aliyah yelled as she pointed happy to the little icecream store. ''Oh, you guys want an icecream?'' I asked them. ''Yes!'' Stormi said. I got them some and walked back to the hotel. it was 8 a'clock in the evening. I bathed them and washed their hair. Belcalis had texted me that she would'nt come home today. I sighed. 2 toddlers watching tv laying next to me in bed. As i looked at them i realised that they really are the light of my life. I am proud, proud on my babies.

I got tired, i was looking in the comments of my Instagram post. I posted 4 pictures of Stormi and Aliyah. They fell asleep hours ago. I couldn't sleep, it was too much. I layed my phone on the bedside table. And turned around facing my children. I smiled to myself as i hear Aliyah snore. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

mikealsons :

''Whats wrong Elijah, you look like you just got the biggest shock of your life." Rebekah asked as Elijah looked at Klaus. ''You'll never guess who i just bumped into.'' Klaus and Rebekah looked at eachother confused. "Whats happening here?'' Hayley walked into the room after putting 4 year old hope in bed. ''Who did you see Elijah?'' Rebekah asked. Elijah looked to the ground. ''Y/n.''

Rebekah and Klaus looked shocked, you were their bestfriend. "How?'' Were the only words that Rebekah could possibly think of. ''I was running, i bumped into an woman who was carrying an buggy with two little girls in it. When i turned around to say excuse me, i looked at the woman as she looked back, and then i saw her, her face.'' Elijah spoke as he looked to his shoes. ''What did you do after that?'' Hayley spoke. ''I...sped away.'' Elijah said having a guilty look on his face. ''Who is she actually?'' Hayley questioned. Before elijah could answer by his self, Klaus spoke. " Elijah's old lover, Y/n.''

''Mommy, wake up.'' I hear Stormi say as she sat on the bed. I opened my eyes and looked at her, i opened my arms as she jumped in them. laying next to me as i prepper her face with kisses, i looked over her head and saw that Aliyah laid there peaceful in sleep. i look on the clock and saw it was still early. 8AM. ''what are we gonna do today?'' She asked me when i was thinking. Memories from yesterday floating my mind. I sighed trying to forget it as i think of what we are going to do today. '' I dont know yet baby, but first we have to make us ready, and its a little early so we are gonna let Aliyah sleep for an little hour, then i'll dress you guys up, and after that were going to eat some breakfast.'' she nodded. ''Can we watch trolls?'' she asked, its her favorite movie. she watches it atleast every week once. ''Sure, but mommy is going to shower and dress up okay? then we can leave sooner.'' I tell her.

As stormi was watching trolls on the bed, i jumped in the shower. As i felt the warm water flow over my back, i thought about Elijah. Did he miss me? Thought about me? Those questions are already over 190 years in my mind. A part of me hoped i would bump into him again. A different part of me was scared to see him again.

I got out of the shower, burshed my teeth, curled my hair, and did my make-up. At the time i came out of the bathroom they were both awake. ''hi mommy.'' Aly said. 'Hi baby.'' i laughed back. I wore a beige top with matching heels and pants. I dressed the children in shorts with a white top above with some cute sneakers. We left the room and got at the coffeeshop around the corner some breakfast.

rebekah's pov:

I couldn't sleep last night, it was too much. I just cant believe that Y/n is here. As i walk trough town shopping some clothes, i see 2 little girls in shorts and tops, they look so cute. I wish i could have children. The girls are sitting on an bench at an small coffeeshop, they are playing together. I see that there is also a woman with them, probably the mother. But when i look at the beautiful woman, i see it. Elijah was right, Its Y/n.

I walk towards her. When she turns around she stares at me in shock. ''Rebekah?'' she says quietly, ''Y/n.'' i say as i throw my arms around her. It takes a second before she hugs me back. ''I missed you so much.'' she says. God only if she knew how much i missed her. ''I missed you too, more then you can think.'' When we let go, she introduces me at the two girls. '' this is stormi, and Aliyah.'' I say as i smile to my children. ''Hi cuties.'' Rebekah said to them as she smiled at them.

She sat down with us, I told her about how stormi and Aliyah are vampires, and that i walked into Elijah yesterday evening. ''Yes, he told us that he bumped into you...'' After that it became silent until Stormi asked Aliyah something about the coloring page that she was making. ''I know that you dont want this Y/n, but you should come with me. We all missed you more then you could possibly think of. Especially Elijah, Y/n.'' I looked at her. ''If he really did miss, why did he leave? You know how long i have suffered just because of sadness?.'' she looked away. ''He didn't want to leave you, we didn't have a choice y/n. Mikeal was after us, But please come with me... I beg u.'' i thought of it, i didnt have plans and i secretly missed them. '' you know what, fine. I dont really have plans anyways.'' She smiled, ''well, lets go then.'' i stood up. Payed our food, and went with rebekah.

We walked for around 15 minutes, when we entered a mansion. Aliyah and Stormi were holding my hands. I was nervous, very. "Klaus, we have guests!'' Rebekah screamed. ''Ah rebekah, who did you broug-'' Klaus looked at you, "Y/n.'' He said shocked. ''Klaus.'' He walked slow to you, a tear running down his cheek. He hugged you, for a good minute. ''Im glad your'e back, sister. I missed you my buddy.'' you let go, smilling at him. He looked at the 2 girls standing behind you. ''Girls this is my old friend Klaus, Klaus these are my daughters Stormi and Aliyah.'' he smiled and kneeled down. ''Hi girls.'' ''hi, Sir.'' they replaid shyly. ''Niklaus!'' Elijah screamed as He stormed in with an girl.'' He stopped walking when he say you. "Y/n..'' You looked at him. ''Mommy is that the man we bumped into yesterday?'' Stormi asked as i picked her up. ''Yes Baby, thats him.'' Aliyah took my hand. ''Mommy, i wanna go.'' She told me as she looked up. " yes, we are gonna go in a few baby.''

The strange girl who stood beside him, looked confused. ''Elijah, who is this?'' She asked him pointing at u. Before he could answer by his self, by suprise Stormi answered. ''This is my mommy, Y/n Y/l/n.'' Because of the cuteness, you bursted out of laughing. '' Im sorry, but she's right. Im Y/n.'' You said. '' And these are my 2 daughters, Aliyah and Stormi.'' As you kissed both of them on the cheeks. "well what are you doing here?'' She asked in a bitchy tone. ''Listen you bitch, if you're ass thinks you can be brutal too me, your wrong. I am here because they are old friends of me, And if you didn't knew it yet. I am Elijahs ex.'' She was stunned, nobody ever spoke to her like that.

too break the Akwardness in the room, Rebekah spoke up. '' Well, do you want something to drink.'' You looked away from Hayley. ''No thankyou, they wanna go. And i have to pick up Belcalis. She is at some boys house she met online.'' Rebekah looked at me with widen eyes. ''You guys are still friends?'' She asked as she looked at klaus. Klaus looked impressed. '' Yes we are.'' I say proudly. ''Anyways, how long are you still in New Orleans before you go back to New York?'' Bekah asked. ''8 Days.'' She looked at her feet. "Before i go we could meet up, what is your phone number?'' I asked her. She smiled, and gave her number.

''Well then, it was very nice seeing you Klaus, hope you live an good life. Rebekah, i'll see you on monday then.'' They nodded. ''Y/n, i would love it if you would come by again before you leave, i also have a daughter around they're age. Maybe they could meet.'' Wauw, Klaus mikealson, a father? i thought. ''Sure, that would be lovely.'' As i walk too the door and everyone is gone. I hear a voice behind me calling my name.

"Y/n..''

[madstronaut]

baby's first soap fic (redux)

re-wrote this with the wrath of a thousand suns burning out after discovering my original post somehow disappeared/got deleted (even though the link was still in my masterpost? smh)

Reading: love you from afar by @roosterr

i found this while first tiptoeing into the depths of cod fandom on tumblr after huffing the gateway drug of simping for COD men (ghost fanart/fics) and the way johnny is portrayed here is what made me start looking up soap fics <3

once again so many absolutely delicious tropes here, key being clueless reader - though i vibe with reader being like "oh i guess im the person to leave a little treat for myself to find after a long day like my favorite choco on my bed" big mood reader, big mood - i aspire to your imaginary self-care standards

also johnny willing to bridal carry you after getting hurt and willing to stay with you at the docs? keep these kind of friends close <3

not me running to google language/meaning of flowers after roosty mentioned they were gardenias

i was late to the soap is canonically an artist/kept a journal game and freaking love it when writers incorporate it into their fics <3 also really brings to mind the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" - i have drawn/been drawn by friends and etc. and truly so touching to see how your love ones see you through their art <3

i also love that soap panics when his little secret project gets outed to gaz and co. who already know about his crush - i fucking love having wholesome little secrets with the intent to commit random acts of love/kindness/chaotic good/etc. etc.

"someone went in your room while you were gone?" ghost's low voice caught your attention, "bit creepy, innit," he grumbled, his gaze darting between you and somewhere next to you.

"christ…" ghost mutters, shaking his head in exasperation.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA GHOST YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CHILL

"could be a good bonding exercise," price had the same entertained tone in his voice as he looked between the four of you, "any thoughts, soap?"

please god i would commit crime to read teh side group chat where they absolutely roast soap for his antics...and reader for how fucking clueless she is

i vibrated out of my seat at excitement of plot twist of fake!admirer sending a fake note and wanting to meet reader, 10/10 storytelling *chefs kisses*

also "hey sarge" to reader? yes we love a girlboss (is this still a pc term? idk someone correct me if its not, still catching up to the barbification of slang words and reclaiming of feminine power with 'girlmath' and 'girldinner' etc etc)

"in fact, i don't actually know you at all. i couldn't recall your name even if you held a gun to my head." FUCK YES MY QUEEN FUCKING GET HIM FUCKING STEP ON HIM *sry busy morphing into that rabid dog barking gif to hype reader up*

when johnny says your name in that deep, gravelly tone, your heart skips a beat and your eyes snap to meet his. "who was it." he asks, but it's not a question anymore, and every fibre of your being is telling you to just give in to him.

my god when the quiet/sweet/always happy-go-lucky ones get angry it is so hot terrifying

and UNF THE LETTER!!!!!! THE LETTER. Every single fucking thing about the letter is pure perfection and sunlight "you're my person" 🥺🥺🥺 THE STRAIGHT-UP I LOVE YOU *claps johnny on back for saying it straight*🥺🥺🥺 signing off with "your heart" 🥺🥺🥺

i love how reader immediately takes off running, fucking yes queen GO GET YOUR MANS??? HURRY THE FUCK UP???

the two of you stay like that for moments that feel like hours in each other's embrace, only pulling away when your lungs are burning and your lips are swollen. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

"yer stayin' with me tonight, non negotiable." he murmurs, running a hand up and down the length of your spine. lmao negotiable?? sir??? reader did not even stand a chance??? who could tbh

last but not least, i learned the meaning of bawbag by googling it via reading this fic so once again, another absolute banger of a fic for cod fandom, ty for filling my heart soul ovaries brain with some much needed and at times completely useless light love and lore <3

[alba8688]

Our secret

Chapter 6

Word count:4420

Warnings!!!! 18+ ,p n v ,hand job .

As soon as I arrive home I went into the shower I wanted to be clean and smelling good for Dani this was the first time we were gonna be alone after months ,I mean I did shower before but not like everyday but now since I met Dani I shower every freaking day and put so much cologne on and I do it just for her .

I wonder if she noticed the new cologne I had gotten just for her ?

Uncle Wayne will make fun of me and ask me who was the lucky girl who got me to shower every day. It was so hilarious to him but not to me he better not mention that to Dani whenever she meets him.

Will she ever meet him?

When I got out of the shower I

I wrapped the towel around my waist. I went to my room and to my closet to decide what to wear for tonight. I didn't like anything. I never cared what I wore. I never even went on a date with a girl well if a one night stand counts but other than that never .

What the fuck do I wear ?

Was this a date ?

I was nervous as fuck .

What if it wasn’t a date ?She did say she wanted to talk alone in her apartment, just her and I ..

What could that mean ?I asked myself

That she wanted to talk without being caught ..I answer my own question .

Everything was driving me crazy .. I really need advice from a girl. I need a girl best friend. Well, I did have one but It didn't end up good.

But story for another time .

Ok ,ok Eddie chill everything is fine .We are just gonna talk, nothing else .

I decided to go with black jeans not ripped with a black Led Zeppelin shirt and my usual leather jacket and jean vest .

I sprayed some cologne on me that uncle Wayne had given me for Christmas. I never really used it, never had any occasion for it. I just started using it when I met Dani.I looked at the time and it was barely 7:00 .

Damn It's still too early ,I sat down in my bed putting the address on my phone's GPS. Her apartment was by Family video apparently new apts/lofts that were built a year ago .

I always pass by them on my way home from School .

I grabbed my keys and decided to stop at the store to buy Dani some flowers then headed back home . When I saw that it was 7:50pm I checked that I had everything in my pocket and my wallet .I glanced at the box of condoms on my side table and was undecided if I should put one on my wallet but like I said we are just talking and that's all .

So I hesitated looking at the box of condoms then at my wallet but decided against it .

I walked out of my room then I heard some slight knocking on the door barely hearable .

Fuck I wonder who it is ?And they decided to come when I'm about to leave .

I open the door to see Chrissy standing on the front doorstep .

"Chrissy ?"

"Eddie can we talk ?" Chrissy what fuck were you doing here? I thought we were done with that stupid deal we had. That's what I wanted to tell her but I didn't have the heart .

"Chrissy, this is a bad time. I'm about to head out ,can we leave this for another time ?" I told her in the most polite way I really wanted to leave and be with Dani already .

I don't know why I agreed with Chrissy on this fake relationship. It's not like I still like her. Part of me probably did it to make Dani jealous and it works now. I'm going to her house to talk about us. I think maybe I don't know, hopefully it was about us .

"I just want to tell you something fast ." She says softly, getting me out of my thoughts .

Jesus fucking Christ Chrissy !!I said in my head forgetting she was standing in front of me .

Dani does this shit to me thinking about her makes me forget about everything else. I'm 💯 percent sure she put some kind of spell on me cause I have never been this idiotic for a girl .

"Yeah sure what is it ?"I say closing the door behind me and stepping into the small porch

"I know we agreed this was only gonna be for two weeks but I was wondering if we could extend it to another week ?"

"Jesus Christ Chrissy I don't know about that ,I-im actually going to go meet the girl I like, remember I told you about her ." I scratch the back of my neck while telling her

"Oh ok,and yes I do ,all I'm asking for is one week please Eddie ." Chrissy ask in the most sweetest way and you know me can't say no

"Ok just one week Chrissy and I'm sorry I have to go ." I get the keys out of my jacket and head to my van.leaving Chrissy standing on my front porch.

I got in my van and watch chrissy walk towards her car and drive away .On my way to Dani's I was practicing what to say to her when I saw her but everything sounded so stupid .and I look stupid talking to myself and smiling at nothing .if people thought I was weird now they had something to talk about .

I arrived at Dani's apartment just in time, well 8:10 pm. The nerves were killing me already. My hands started to get sweaty. I felt like I was inside a sauna ,maybe it was just me or probably I was having a panic attack.I took my seat belt off and reached over the roses I had gotten for Dani.

I decided to park the farthest away from her apartment building in case someone recognizes my van .We wouldn't want no one recognizing my van because we all know that everyone knows my van.

I stayed inside for a while . I wanted to smoke a joint to relax but I also wanted to be in my 5 senses while talking to her. Maybe just one won't kill me, maybe it won't make me act stupid ,maybe it is not a good idea she didn't know I did that I would rather keep it like that .

A black BMW parked next to me and right away I recognized the car as Dani's . A big stupid smile grew on my face .

Why was I smiling like an idiot ?

Jesus Christ I hated this part of me. It made me seem weak. She made me weak .

Jesus Christ !!

But wait a minute ,why would she park all the way over here if her building was up ahead .

She lowered down the window and smiled at me. She looks beautiful like always. I don't know why but I blushed so hard when she smiled at me I tried to keep my cool .In reality I was dying from the inside .

She put the window up again and turned her car off and got down .

I turned off my van and got down trying my best not to be nervous but somehow nothing would help now even seeing Dani in that skirt I got so used to seeing her with her normal school clothes .

Right now there's different images running through my perverted brain of mine of the things I would do to her .

My fucking dick was betraying me right now .I felt so embarrassed of myself I never got like these for a girl and just by looking at her it Gets me hard .

Jesus Christ, relax your strong Eddie .

I fixed my boner up my waistline and fixed my pants before following Dani to her apartment .

"Eddie you coming?" She ask

"Eddie ?"

"Isn't that your name ?" She ask teasingly

"Yeah but I was so used to Edward ."

" Would you rather me call you Edward ?" She ask

"I mean I don't know ." I scratch the back of my head nervously I was blushing like an idiot

"We'll come on ." Dani says and I follow her like a duck following the mom.

I watched her walk in front of me. I don't know if she was doing it on purpose but she was moving her hips in the sexiest way and that wasn't helping me either with the big boner I had at the moment and especially walking with it .

"Can you help me with these?" She asks handing me two groceries bags

I grab them and follow her to her apartment and to my surprise her apartment is upstairs now I have to watch her walk upstairs with that tiny skirt she is wearing.

While going up the stairs I kept my face down not trying to look up her skirt. I'm trying to be respectful as possible .I'm a gentleman, I keep telling myself .

We stop at the first door to our right. She takes her keys out and opens the door to her apartment .

She walks in first and I follow her. She has a pretty cozy apartment.

As you walk-in you walk into the kitchen and the living room. I raised my brow when I saw the Christmas tree already up and it's the last week of October .

"Christmas tree?" I ask her

"Yeah, that makes me happy ." She smiles

I close the door behind me then go set the bags down in her counter

"Hey there ." She says reclining in the counter

"Hey ,I-I've been thinking about you a lot lately ." I tell her

"You have ?" She smiles .

"Yup."i saying popping the P

"Do you want something to drink ?" She ask grabbing a beer from the fridge

"You ,Miss.Henderson is offering me a beer?" I say playfully

"Just grab it Munson ." She says handing me the beer .

"So we are back to last names ?" I tease her

"Oh shut up ." She laughs.Her laugh Jesus Christ I love her laugh.

I watch her go sit on the sofa and take a sip of her beer. She turns to look at me and signals for me to go sit next to her .

Like an idiot I go following her instructions .

I sat down next to her slouching back on the couch .

"Eddie?"

"Yeah ."

"How does it feel when we are together?" She ask

It feels fucking amazing i feel like the happiest man in the world ive never felt like these for anyone that's what I wanted to say but I didn't because I was afraid to scare her away .

"Good, it feels right ." I reply

She looks at me and gives me a weak smile and opens her mouth but then closes it again.

She bites her bottom lip and reclines back into the sofa putting her hands over her face ,she takes her beanie off and throws it on the coffee table. She seemed frustrated, like something was bothering her. I wanted to ask her what was wrong.

She takes her hands from her face and turns to look at me .

"I want to be with you ,I want to hang out at The hideout ,introduce you to my friends ,share a milkshake in a diner like everyone else ,b-but I don't know if w-we could ever Do that !!" She tells me I felt a smile growing in my face and she was right we couldn't do that and it made me feel like shit cause I wanted to show her off to everyone.

I sit up straight and grab both of her hands in mine and look at her.

"Eddie, when I'm With you I don't care about anyone else ." She chuckles

What was she trying to tell me? Did she want this? Was she gonna risk her job to be with me?

"So are you talking yourself into this or out of it ?" I can't believe I repeated myself I was nervous

"Umm yes umm no umm maybe !!." She says

"So what does it mean ?" I ask

She leans closer to me, putting her hand on my chest.

"Look We are here now and it is just the two of us and it feels good so let's not care together ." She says before pressing her lips on mine

She pulls away and rests her forehead on mine.

"This is so wrong but it feels so right ." She whispers and presses her lips back on mine again but this time the kiss was more hungry. Her hands wrapped around my neck and my hands wrapped around her waist and she pushes me back to the sofa and places her knees on both sides of my thighs .

She was on top of me straddling me ,shit !and I was getting hard. I was afraid she was gonna feel it .

She pulls away from the kiss and stands up adjusting her skirt and walks towards the kitchen counter .

"Are you hungry ?" Is she fucking serious!!! she just fucking stood up like nothing happen and ask me if I was hungry .No fucking shit she is not leaving me like this after she was the one that started .

I don't reply back but I walk towards her while she is getting the food out of the plastic bag .

"Dani ." I said in a low voice she immediately turned around and I picked her up from the waist and carried her to her room. I was guessing it was the room because it was the only room in the apartment .

Our lips crashed again hungrily I grabbed her by her ass so she wouldn't fall off .

"Where's the bed ?" I ask while still

Kissing her.

She signals me with her hand and I lay her down slowly and I crawl on top of her pressing my lips back onto hers .

Her hands go down to my pants fighting to unbuckled them so I help her by taking them off and sending them flying somewhere in her room .

The chains on my jeans crashed when it hit the ground .

I was left with my boxers and my shirt and jacket.

I took off my jacket and jean vest and threw it in the ground as well .

Dani pulls the hem of my shirt and I pick up my arms for her to take my shirt off leaving me in my boxers .

I watch her undress in the sexiest way ever or maybe it was just me that I saw everything she did sexy. She has some kind of spell on me .

She pulls me down to her by my neck and kisses my lips, slipping her tongue into my mouth. Her lips taste too sweet and she smells like vanilla .

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I want to stay in this moment forever .

Right here I forgot she was my teacher and I was her student and I didn't care about anyone or anything .

This was perfect .

She wrapped her legs around my hips and slid them down my waist bringing my boxers down .

My erection popped out ,her legs went back to my hips and she arched her hips up making me enter her in a slow agonizing pace, feeling how wet she already was for me .

She caught me by surprise and a moan escaped my mouth. I looked down to her and she had a big smile on her face .I leaned down to kiss her lips while i thrusted slowly in and out .

This time wasn't like the last time we had sex it was different. It wasn't rough. I wanted to be gentle with her and enjoy every part of her treating her like she would break if I went any harder .

Her lips never left mine, not even to catch our breaths. I could have died right now and I would die happy with no care in the world.

There was something about Dani that drove me out of my mind .

"Eddie." She said breathlessly

"Yes." I looked down at her; it was the perfect view I could have asked for .

She gave me a mischievous grin and flip me around with her being on top of me and sliding down my Erection. She knew exactly what she was doin to me and I didn't care I was all hers and only hers .

“Jesus Christ fucking ninja move !!” I gasped, crashing my lips on hers. She was my Goddess.

She pulled away and positioned herself then placed her hand on my chest and started moving slowly back and forth. Her eyes rolled back to the back of her head. She bit her lip to try to contain the moans she was holding in.

But I wanted to hear her. I wanted to know how good I made her feel .I wanted the world to hear her .

I placed my hands on her hips guiding her up and down my erection. I could feel how wet she was and it was driving me crazy. I could cum any minute now of how Good she felt around me.

"You're so beautiful ." I groaned

"You're my pretty boy ." She smiles and leans down to kiss my lips .

Moans and cries fell from her lips as I helped her move up and down .

"I'm almost there." She said through heavy breathing

I could feel her walls tightening around me making my cock twitch inside of her.

She was so fucking tight she was perfect so damn perfect it’s like she was made for me ,just for me and no one else .

My lips went to her neck attacking with kisses then kissing her weak spot then back to her lips, our lips attached together moaning into each other's mouth while we both came undone.

I wasn't trying to overreact but this was the best orgasm I had ever had and best sex ever .

"Shit!!" I immediately freaked out after the moment of bliss was gone .

"What ?" She ask confused

"I came inside of you ?" I say panicked eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights .

She giggles while still on top of me and leans down to kiss my lips .

"Pretty, pretty boy ." She says in my lips still giggling

She stands up slowly from my softening cock leaving me empty without her .

"What's so funny ?" I ask, still confused ,why she giggle when I said I came inside of her ?

"I'm wearing a contraceptive implant on my arm." She says pointing to her right arm

What the fuck does that mean ?

"A contra What?" I ask standing up and following her to her bathroom bare naked.

I watch her as she prepares the bath, checking the water .

"It's a small plastic thing that prevents me from getting pregnant ." She says getting in the tub

"Oh"I said, "That's something new.I stood there standing looking at Dani get in the tub. She was beautiful as she was carved by the Gods themselves.

"Are you coming in ?Or are you gonna keep on gawking ?"she says looking at me and signaling to get in .

She wasn't gonna tell me twice I got in sitting on the back of her with my legs open so she could sit in between me. She leaned her head back to my chest looking up at me and smiling .

"Dani ." I said almost as a whisper

"Yes ." She responded while laying on my chest with her eyes clothes

"Would you be my girlfriend ?" My heart started beating faster in My chest. I think she could feel how hard it was beating .

She opens her eyes and turns her head slightly to look back at me and smile .

"Yes Eddie ."

"Yes?" I asked her again, still unsure of her answer. I wanted to double check just to make sure I wasn’t hearing things .

"Yes Eddie, I'll be your girlfriend." She giggles and kisses me .After out bath we laid down in bed again talking about us and how it was going to be hard not to be able to be together in public and then from there we had sex again and again

Never getting tired of each other .

I don't know how many times we made love last night but I didn't care my dick never failed me, it was always ready for her .Until we fell asleep in each other's arms .In the middle of the night we were rudely awakened by a cell phone ringing.

I answered it thinking it was mine .

"Hello." I said groggily

"Dani?" I male voice says

Shit!!I answer Dani's phone shit!!! What should I do?But wait, it's a guy ..I think to myself ..what if it’s a lost boyfriend or worse husband !!!

I put the phone on mute and tried my best not to panic.I called Dani’s name softly not to scare her. I tried several times but she wouldn’t wake up. I move her gently and try to wake her up. I could still hear the male calling out Dani's name. He sounded drunk .

"Sweetheart there's someone for you on the phone ." I said softly

She opens her eyes slightly and smiles at me and places a kiss on my lips then I hand her her phone .

"Hello ." She answered sleepily taking the phone off of mute

"Liam?" She says sitting up in bed with a shocked face

Who the fuck was Liam? And why did she get like that ?

She gets up from bed and starts pacing around the room talking to this Liam guy .Ok I’m not trying to be a jealous boyfriend.

Huh,boyfriend I like that .

But wait no I don’t want to be jealous guy but iam right now .Why the fuck was he calling he her in the of the night.

"It’s none of your business who answers my phone !!" She shouted to the guy on the other side of the phone .

She seems mad to whoever was on the line

I wouldn't want to be that Liam guy.

"Yes he is my boyfriend ." I felt my ego go way up when she called me her boyfriend. I really like the sound of that .

She finally hung up and came back to bed .Throwing the phone to our pile of clothes on the floor.

I checked the time on my phone and it was 4am. I wonder who was calling her this early or late. I don't know how that works .

She lays down her head on my chest and I wrap my arm around her .

She yawns "you're so warm ." She says cuddling me

"I could be your own personal heater ." I tell her kissing the top of her head

"I like that, maybe you should spend the night more often ." She wants me to spend the night more often?

Fuck yeah !!

"You do?" I ask

"Yes ." She says sleepily

I close my eyes thinking we were going to go back to sleep but I guess Dani had other

Plans her hand slowly slid down my boxers gently started stroking my cock.I mean I don't mind going again for another round .

There was something about Dani that drove me insane and maybe I was thinking it's love but no! It's too soon, maybe it is the fact that we can't be together that makes me want her more .

But it is ok this will be OUR SECRET.

Back to Dani'spov

I honestly don't know what I was doing. I had accepted to be Eddie's girlfriend even knowing he was my student .I don’t even think I was thinking straight right now .I don’t know what I am gonna do when I see him in public but right now all that matters is this moment.

Right now I don't care about the consequences of dating my student. I mean he is 20 and I'm 22 but still doesn't make a difference. He is my student and I'm his teacher. In no world is that right .

But right now being with him in bed felt right, the warmness of his body on mine. I love how that felt .

His arms around me made me feel so safe and secure and I've never felt like this for anyone, not even for Liam, my ex boyfriend who broke my heart into a million pieces the reason I moved back to Hawkins .

Liam and I had been together since high school we were on and off for longest time but eventually stay together two years ago at first it was all nice and mushy then it got to the point where he would get mad because I was just studying or a few months ago when I kept studying for my finals .Or when we lost him is when he got worse and the cheating started.

He would always tell me I never had time for him and there was no reason for me to be in college. I knew that he could give me everything and one day we would get married .

But I didn't want that I wanted to be a teacher, that was my dream but he wanted to take that away from me just because he was born into a rich family .

His family own a big business. I don't know what they did but they had shit load of money and Liam was supposed to take over the company and eventually he did .

But that wasn't the life for me. I mean I did love him or at least I thought I did but I wasn't ready to get married then .

But then I met Eddie who changed my way of thinking and if he were to ask me to marry him right now I would say yes I don't know what was wrong with me when I just met this boy and he was driving me crazy. I felt like a high school girl in love .

But was I in love?It couldn't be love when I just met him .

But I needed to take things slow with him I really wanted to make things work with him but first he had to graduate so we can be able to be together

For now our relationship will be OUR SECRET .

Next chapter

Dani’s apartment and her outfit pics from Pinterest

[squishmallow36]

Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Twenty-nine

Word count: 2.8k

Tw: unnamed homophobic human

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-floppy-frog @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @books-over-boys @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @cotyledon-tomentosa @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees

On Ao3 or below the cut!

    “Lovise,” I call, even though I know she can easily hear me if I speak normally. Or whisper. I tested it one day. 

    “Yeah?” she asks, poking her head in the door.

    “How would you feel about going to the Forbidden Cities?”

    Cue the longest sigh in recorded history.

    “What now?” she asks tiredly. 

    “I’ve got to go talk to Amy about something I sent her. Yes, I know I could just keep messaging her, and you know how I’m not exactly the biggest fan of hails.” 

    “Is it about Keefe?”

    “Actually, it is not. I sent her the Tinker thing just because I knew she wouldn’t have any preconceived opinions because they’ve never met, so she wouldn’t have any bias in her analysis.”

    “You could have asked me before you did that,” Lovise argues. 

    “I didn’t realize I needed permission to text my friends.”

    Her mouth formed several words before settling on, “I think you and I both know that you’re going to go with or without me, so just please make sure you do whatever techy things you can to avoid any issues. And by issues I mean the Neverseen. It’s been almost three weeks since Sophie burned down their wearhouse, and there haven’t been any obvious counter moves.”

    “I wouldn’t go without you. You remember how hard it was to get away when I first met with Tinker. And I already have a program to loop my registry pendant to make it look like I’m staying in my room. It’ll only hold up for as long as I can plausibly go without food, though. Or if the mods notice, but I doubt they’ll look that closely.”

    “And what if they do?”

    “Absolute worst case scenario, they’re undercover Neverseen agents, figure out where we are, and then ambush us. But that’s exactly why you’re stuck dealing with me, no?”  

    “Just try to keep it short. If you can manage to not go off on a tangent about anything, it would be greatly appreciated,” Lovise concedes. 

    “You know I’m going to go off on a tangent. The tangent will probably be more of the conversation than the actual reason for the conversation in the first place.”

    “I know. Just try.”

    “Do or do not, there is no try.”

    She clearly recognizes my Star Wars reference— which makes me very proud of myself. Giving me an unamused look, she says, “Then do.” 

    With that, she heads back outside my room, leaving me to my thoughts again. 

    Yeah, I don’t vibe with that right now. 

    I distract myself until I get tired by playing more Portal for a little while, followed by some Minecraft. 

    The next morning is nothing special, well, at least in reference to other mornings when I get woken up at way-too-freaking-early o’clock. 

    I spend the beginning of the day watching the first two movies in the MCU by order of release, Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk.

     After I’ve successfully wasted most of the day, I realise that it makes my registry pendant loop more believable, so I have been productive today. 

    I also tracked down Amy’s coordinates so that I can make a temporary leaping crystal so I can actually get there. 

     That’s just a little helpful.

    I get dust all over my bed in the process, but at this point there’s so many crumbs it doesn’t even matter. 

    Every now and then I even find what I think is sand from the Shores of Solace. I went outside, like, once! And there’s still sand!

     After triple checking the time conversions, I give Amy a few minutes to get home before leaping there.

    I immediately message, Let me know when and where you want to meet.

    Im still at school so if ur willing to wander over here we could tell my parents that were working on some school project…again

     What’s its name? I need to plug it into Google Maps, I reply.

    I give Lovise my Obscurer—which is definitely not one of the ones I’ve messed with recently—and Amy answers, Allen At Steinbeck. 

   I reply, Thanks!, and type it into Google Maps, and, thankfully, it’s only a couple of blocks away.

    When I get close, I tell Amy, I made it over here. Where are you?

    Hold on ill find u whats around u

    I think I’m near the front door. I’m pretty sure that I can see a sign with the school’s name on it. Just know I could still be in the Obscurer’s field, so I may or may not be visible. 

    Whyd u bring it then

    Goblins. Specifically Lovise. 

    Makes sense

    I watch what I’ve decided to call the front door, and there’s a decent amount of kids still walking out even though it’s nearly twenty minutes after school ended. 

    When Amy comes out, I start walking towards her, still looking at my Imparter to help deter potential other humans from talking to me. I perfected this method at Foxfire, and it’s nice to know that it works for more than one species.

     “Hey. Found you.” Amy says, once I’m within normal speaking range. 

     “Hi,” I reply, putting my Imparter back in my pocket. 

    “Can you give me a sec? I have to ask my parents if I can go to Starbucks with some friends.”

    “Yep. Do you maybe want to pull over? Texting in the middle of the sidewalk doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

    “Nah. I do this all the time. Haven’t died yet.”

    She puts her phone away after a few seconds and asks, “So you’ve you been? What’d you break since we last saw each other?”

    “It’s actually a pretty extensive list.”

    “Why is that not surprising?”

    “Because Sophie is very good at breaking things.”

    “Pretty sure all of you elves are good at breaking things.”

    “Aren’t you worried about someone hearing you?”

    “About what? I doubt they’re listening and even if they aren’t they’ll think we’re a little crazy. It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve heard while walking down a street.”

    At some point we started walking in the same direction I already was today.

    “This would have been easier if you had just told me to go here.”

    “Yes, I’d love to have to navigate you through a mall,” she replies sarcastically. “Relax. There won’t be too many people there. We can talk about your conspiracy theory.”

    “But what about Lovise? The Obscurer won’t work very well in an enclosed space.”

    “I’ll run in and get something to cover our story and also because I’m hungry, and we can talk outside. Does that work?”

    It takes less than five minutes to get over there, and I claim a table while Amy heads in to get something. I pull out my Imparter again, and before I realize, she’s back with some sort of coffee if I had to guess and two muffins. 

    “They’re just blueberry, so you’re probably going to be disappointed. Once you try Mallowmelt, nothing else measures up.”

    “Well, I have to argue with that. Fitz did make these cinnamon Ripplefluffs, and I would kill for them.”

    “Just knowing that they’re Elvin, I would too.”

    She takes a sip from her coffee, and I say, “I promised Lovise I wouldn’t go off on too many tangents, so, if you’re willing, it’s conspiracy time.”

    “I’m always ready for conspiracy time. What did you put together from the stuff you sent me?”

    “I don’t know how accurate any of this is, but I’m fairly convinced that Tinker is part of the Neverseen.”

    “Yeah. But that’s not the fun part.”

    “By the fun part are you referring to the Lesbian flag on one of the pages? Wait, did I even add that page of the notebook? Whatever.”

    “You recognized that? Three weeks ago you totally silently nerded out because I came out.”

    “I’ve been doing some research. Too much, most would say. People have been coming out ever since you did. I can think of five and probably another two, not even including you or your girlfriend, without trying. Three weeks ago, that number was exactly zero.”

    Her eyes widen. 

    “I don’t want to make anything weird with people, so I’m not going to list them.”

    “Makes sense. Are you thinking Tinker’s trans or that other file, the non-pyro one, you sent me was just a cover like one of the Fork man’s disguises?”

    “I actually hadn’t thought about the latter option. I just knew that they mostly go by Tinker, to the point that Mr. Forkle doesn’t know her real identity. I was thinking that it had some parallels with the idea of a chosen name, but mostly I just thought the picture looked similar.”

    “Do you happen to have a picture of Tinker?”

    “That would be helpful,” I reply, beginning the long search through my camera roll. I haven’t taken a direct picture, but I’m hoping that they’re in the background at least once.

    I smile when I find them, so I show it to Amy, saying, “Sorry it’s a little blurry. And far away. And not facing forward. I can try to find another one—.”

    “It’s good enough. You know her better than I do, so if you think the two look similar enough, then it might be a possibility.”

    “I guess so. But something still feels off. I guess we probably shouldn’t be digging into their files like this. On the other hand, the Neverseen thing is kinda important.”

    “Yeah, the subtext in the journal definitely felt more like an ‘I can’t escape an evil organization’ than what I’ve heard about the Black Swan. But I agree with your other point too. It feels like we’ve accidentally uncovered something we probably shouldn’t’ve.”

    “It’s just difficult because I showed this to Fitz yesterday and he needed an explanation of ‘LGBTQ’, so this is all one tangled mess.”

    “Fun. I don’t think it’s all a black and white issue, so just because she might be part of a terrorist organization, it doesn’t mean she’s a terrible person.”

    “Of course it’s not black and white. We left that behind when everyone started coming out of the closet.”

    She laughs. “That’s great.” 

    Last night I made the decision to come out to Amy, and I know that’s the best segway into that kind of conversation I’m going to get organically. It’s just getting the nerve to do it before this conversation takes a different turn. 

    Hands probably shaking, but too preoccupied to check, I take a shuddering breath.

    “Speaking of coming out of the closet...”

    I stop, trying to find the right words. 

    “I don’t know exactly what’s going on in my brain, but I know for a fact that I’m not straight.”

    “I knew it.”

    I’m not sure whether to be relieved or extra worried. 

    “What?”

    “Oh please. Like I believed you were straight for half a second. That whole energy of the crush on your cousin was not straight if you ask me. And like, you definitely have the vibe of gay best friend, whether you like it or not. ”

    “First of all, I’m not totally convinced that my crush on Sophie was just my brain’s pathetic attempt at liking a girl, and, second of all, how dare you know I’m not straight before I did!”

    “Am I allowed to know who your gay awakening is? Hot elf boy or other hot elf boy or is there another other hot elf boy that I don’t know?”

    “I don’t know which one is which so I don’t know how to answer that.”

    “The blond one, the teal-eyed one, or neither of the above?”

    “I feel like you’re going to blackmail me if I answer that,” I reply.

    “So that means it’s down to my two given options,” notes Amy.

    I blush, and I know that’s all she needs to confirm her hypothesis. 

    “Please? I won’t tell anyone that you know. It’s contained in the unwritten gay-lesbian solidarity rules.” 

    Amy’s gaze focuses on something behind me, and I turn around to see what she’s seeing. 

    “Give me a minute.” Amy stands up and stalks toward a man that has a very similar build to an ogre. 

    “What did you just say?” she demands. 

    He snorts. “I knew you queers were sensitive, but, by God, you’re a bunch of special snowflakes.”

    “When, exactly, did ‘special snowflake’ become synonymous with ‘standing up for yourself because some jerk just walked past you and your friend and muttered about how we’re going to hell’?” she argues. 

    “Just stating a fact. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to actually do things with my life, unlike you abominations.” 

   Amy seems to realize that he’s not worth her time, or maybe that murder is illegal, and sits back down at our table, teeth still clenched. 

    “I’ve had enough of people like him for a lifetime.” Taking a calming breath, she asks, “You elves don’t have prejudices like the humans do. When can I live there? I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”

    “Uh, funny story. Thanks to the Matchmaking system, nobody even knows there’s anything beyond straight relationships,” I gave an awkward double thumbs up that did nothing but make everything even cringier. 

    “That sounds…very bad. At least a good chunk of people here are either accepting or indifferent. And, from what I’ve heard, elves aren’t good with the unexpected.”

    “That’s an understatement,” I reply, barely containing a snort. 

    “On the other hand, there are still a few countries here where being gay results in capital punishment.”

    “That’s…” I can’t form words. I’ve gotten acquainted with the idea that humans can be violent creatures, but that is steps too far. And by steps I mean we left what might be considered okay a few miles back. 

    How dare they punish someone for existing? I can’t help it that I have a crush on Wonderboy, it just kind of happened.

    “And a whole bunch more that result in imprisonment,” Amy adds cheerfully. “Maybe you should get to work on your Elvin gay rights campaign sooner than later. You’re even more stubborn than we are.”

    Oh stars I can see the council taking that route. 

    “Great.” It takes every effort I have to not swear.

    “Exactly.”

    “That’s the kind of wonderful information that I’d rather not know.”

    “Welcome to the land of the LGBTQ. It’s a fun place, if you can’t tell.”

    “Sounds like it.” 

    “It’s not all horrible. Sometimes it is pretty damn fun arguing with homophobic donkeys. Especially during pride month.”

    “Is it sad that I’m proud of myself for knowing what that is?”

    “Very,” she replies, smiling. 

    Amy takes a sip from her coffee, mostly sucking air through her straw. 

    She says, “You probably have some elfy thing you’ve gotta do today, so I just want to leave you with one final thing, lovingly cultivated from way too much time spent on the internet. No matter how many times you change your label, no matter how long you’ve spent with a certain label, no matter what your labels are, you are valid. Remember that. I’m almost certain that someone, at some point, especially in the near future while you’re still questioning, will make you doubt that. And feel free to text me whenever you want. I’ll respond as soon as I see it…which may be a few days if my phone gets taken away again.”

    “Back at you. If you have anything you need to ask me for some reason, I’ll respond at the same rate. Although it’ll either be immediate or a few hours because I was actually focused on something.”

    Somehow, as we start walking back to Amy’s house, the conversation turns to Disney movies. I think there was something about gay Disney princes in there. 

    I know her parents will ask a whole bunch of questions about why she was walking home with some random kid they’ve never met, so we say our goodbyes a little more than a block away from her house. 

    Once she’s out of earshot, I turn around and ask, “Lovise? Where are you?”

    She comes to me because trying to answer would be just a little difficult without using sight or sound. 

    When I’m within the range of the Obscurer, she lectures, “You really shouldn’t have let Amy walk up to that guy. It could have very easily gone badly, and I might have had to step in.”

    “I think she could have handled herself, but I see your point. I doubt I could have stopped her though. She seemed ready to tear his head off and I’d rather not stand in the way of that.”

    “Fair point. Getting your charge seriously injured is a big bodyguarding no-no.”

   “You’ve spent too much time with Ro.”

   “You’ve spent too much time with Keefe to be healthy, so…”

    That’s not going to be easily argued against, so I cut my losses and leap us back home. 

[milo-is-rambling]

Don't want to sleep bc when I woke up this morning it was too early so I went back to bed and spent like two hours falling in and out of sleep and in and out of a dream about my dad where he was alive again (weird as fuck to say that cause it still has not actually clicked in my brain that my dad is dead) and he kept trying to do things in the dream like go to sleep or go into a different room and I was like talking him out of it and I kept my eye on him constantly so he couldn't leave and it was like he got away from me and went to bed or something and the second he walked out of the room we were in I woke up and then I just kind of stared at my ceiling feeling bad for like an hour and it fucking sucked and my mom wasn't home when I got up again cause it was like noon and she had a work lunch today and left at 11 so I was home alone with my dog and I had that dream and then felt really truly alone and I realized that my dad dying fucked with my already bad abandonment issues and like I know that he didn't die and leave me on purpose obviously but like he's missing from my life now and he's not gonna be with me through all these future experiences I imagined having him there for like I'm not dating anyone and haven't dated anyone like long term serious recently so he's not gonna be able to ever meet the person I truly fall in love with or like be at my wedding and he's never gonna be able to have a Christmas together with me and my future family or even have grandkids and my dad loves kids and my neighbor (his best friend) has grandkids who knew my dad and like I played with them in the pool and we hung out a lot this last year and there's one kid who has the same name as my dad so they always said little bill and big bill for my dad and his friends grandkid and next time they come to visit we have to tell them something happened to big bill and he's not gonna be around anymore and it just fucking sucks. Death sucks Greif sucks I keep saying y'know "love doesn't go anywhere" "the pain of grief is just all the love you have to give still" "blah blah blah you're supposed to cry" but like I can say it as many times as I want I am still definitely not dealing with this at all. I barely legitimately cry about it like I'll drop like three tears when a specific song comes on Spotify shuffle but I haven't cried hard really and I avoid looking at pictures of him or anything or letting myself have any emotion about it and I think it's bc of this big huge shame monster I have in my chest that I call my heart but it truly does not let me experience emotions around other people like god damn I didn't realize how bad it was like I thought I had more control over it and I was just being edgy or whatever but I legitimately cannot handle crying in front of another person even my mom who I am the closest with out of anyone in my life like it's just me and my mom and millie and that's my whole fucking world and even with them I just can't let myself cry or feel actual emotion and the second I start crying I immediately lose all sadness I had cause my body just turns it off like someone fucking turned off a faucet like I cry a little bit completely alone when im driving and I can't really fully let it out cause I need to focus on driving that's the only way I can cry anymore cause even completely alone I am judging myself from my head and won't let myself cry and I keep trying and trying and I just do not know how to let myself cry and I feel like I have this giant inflatable swimming pool filling with so much water that it actually rips the plastic and explodes that's what I feel behind my eyes and nose at all times it's one big emotion blob right there and I can't fucking let it explode no matter how hard I try and I've been fucking trying. I rewatched all my crying shit and haven't been able to get an actual breakdown started at all it's pissing me off I want to just feel my feelings so I can work thru them but also every time I cry I feel so much shame like how do u fix that so I can cry really hard for like two months straight

[aamethyst000]

Nov 1, 22 3:10pm

our internet has been out for 3 days now, my little brother is getting impatient and I am starting to feel bored. I am reading my books but it doesn't feel the same as I am on my phone. i am also listening to music a lot more that I normally do, and I am getting bored from that. I almost want to take a nap but I don't want to. I am just bored and u just may have to put up with it for now. the wiring is broken somewhere in the waters. I found out from the lady at the front desk (clinic) and they are waiting for some dude to come up from Vancouver to fix the thing. so it may be longer than we all like. oh well, I think I just may nap anyway. gor stuff to do but I can't seem to get up and do them.

I noticed I seem to put myself on a time limit when it comes to my own chores. I have to remind myself every now and again when I do realize this.

3:25pm - we are just having a toke, I almost had a nap. and hoo boi is it ever chilly in the house. on my second cup of coffee, I think coffee is starting to make me sleepy, however, I get a headache if I don't drink my usual amount of coffee. I may have to think about slowing down a bit before picking back up again. oh, yeah, and I woke up really late this morning. I woke up at 11am, lately, I have been waking up late. yet, I have been going to bed at like 1-2am and my alarm clocks are L O U D man. my phone is even on my bed, I mean, cmon. I wanna know what is going on.

5:35pm - I. am. bored. I know what I can do, but idk if I can find the energy to do so. I also have to cook dinner, so, there's that. u was very tempted to take a nap, I was tired enough and I was not doing anything. as you can tell. I did not, in fact, take a fckn nap. I'm thinking I should go make another pot of coffee in a bit. just so I can keep myself awake. it has been very quiet in the house, quite fascinating when you are experiencing it. my cat has been napping by me all day today, I have been listening to music nonstop. been feeling really fidgety too, I think that is why I want to nap.

10:22pm - managed to stay up to cook. we had BBQ chicken and rice! it was so fckn yummy~ I am just now piling the dishes to clean and put away tomorrow. assuming that the internet won't go back on until who knows when. so I'll be finding ways to keep myself busy until the internet is back on. I am on my fourth cup of coffee, over my limit on coffee intake. oh well, needed it for tonight. I have been listening to music all fckn day just to keep my thoughts somewhat calm, I was gonna say in line but that felt wrong to say lol so, yeah. that has been my day today. slow and boring. I actually had to deal with my boredom and I didn't like that at all. no wonder we as humans get really upset when we are not kept busy. like damn, my brain cannot rest for shit.

1:40am - welp, I thought I was going to go to bed early, apparently not. Danny was late going to bed, only because we ate pretty late. I get the feeling danny snooped around in my room again for my stash. he is not going be my roommate if he keeps this up. the citywest website says the estimated time it'll be fixed is sometime after 2pm, im thinking it'll go back on late at night again. I wonder what the damage was after the literal storm we had a few days ago. and it's only Wednesday for crying out loud lmao

[cherishedingenue]

conversation with myself:

if half my thoughts are about my appearance or how to improve it, thats fine. its whats expected of me and it makes my life easier to be beautiful. i make more friends, people listen to me more, give me more respect, are happier to see me. art and beauty is the meaning of life and that goes for my physical form as well.

but life is meant to be experienced. you should look out your eyes at the world rather than at yourself from the perspective of the world. this is no way to be alive, and you are not fully appreciating this insane unique gift if this is what you choose to focus on

but having a good time is the same as looking good to me. feeling beautiful around people, especially people who can appreciate it is my idea of a good time. this city is perfect for that too because there are so many beautiful people who i want to impress. and i feel so much more connected to and excited about the world when i know it thinks im beautiful. pretty girls on the street at night, or in a group or when high or drunk have a bond. its a conversation starter, it gives people something to appreciate before ever actually talking to you

but why would i want to build connections off of something that comes in waves that i cant control. if someone is only friends with me or respects me because they think im pretty then what happens when i have an off day? acne or no sleep or bad hair because its humid or bloated or just so many other things. sometimes my face doesnt look right for a day or days. it makes me stress so much when i need to wake up early or go to bed late, not for functioning or mood reasons but for beauty. although its still good to try to avoid things like that in general. sometimes beauty is a good motivator to take care of myself, it just has the potential to get obsessive. and is not rooted in love for myself

you want to be beautiful. its in your nature, its always pleasing to you. when you feel bad, if you look good i feel less bad. your pretty crying face is your consolation for crying. you have a need to be attractive to people, and it makes sense from a very primal perspective. we are all wired to make babies, people will want to make babies with someone only if they are beautiful. a beautiful trait is a marker of good health, a signal to other people. and even from a modern perspective, and taking into account the fact that a gaunt smokers face is beautiful to you, your appearance tells people about you. how cool you are. this is why you like to dress the way you do, to send a message, be perceived as you are inside. and you are beautiful inside

you can dress however you want without worrying about your body or face. you can show your inner beauty by smiling. you dont have to be actively appreciating your beauty to be beautiful. you dont have to be perceiving yourself, watching yourself and imagining what other people are seeing. others can still see you, and they can see that youre happy and comfortable, and that is something that cant be replicated. you are not prettier by looking awkward and insecure, or unsure of your worth. posing your body to look less awkward is actually more awkward. do you realize you are still pretty when you arent thinking about how pretty you are.

your point still comes back to beauty and appreciates the inherent value of being beautiful

because we live in a society

so the answer is to still curate your look and represent your little subcultures, thats something you genuinely value in life, but not spend every waking second worrying. fix your hair and trust that its fixed. part of your experience is living as a human, and wanting validation is part of that. i dont know what you think consciousness "should" be. you can not appreciate every aspect of life all the time. you will have moments of love for being alive and moments you wish you were dead. let all the experiences of emotion wash over you or you will suffer more. if you stopped obsessing about your appearance wouldnt it just be something else? this resistance is causing you more distress than just participating. or allowing the discomfort that comes when you dont feel beautiful and moving on. very few things in life should take so much effort. enjoy being a person and receiving approval from other people and then deal with the changes as you age. and then die and thats fine, its all part of it

[traumatixx]

lol at me seeing angel numbers everywhere on all my tumblr notifs & opening tumblr to a random notif and it immediately reminds me of my little angel girl always telling me every detail to the entire show even though we’ve been watching it together from the beginning but she always would research every single thing about the show way far into it like usually allll the way to the end of the show and of course she has to watch ahead sometimes aha & I’d still be early in the show not knowing what’s going to happen & then she tells me literally everything that happens and “spoils” the ending! But even with all of her give aways of our shows like 90 day fiancé before the 90 days or You or avatar, i still always enjoyed everything about watching them, if not i enjoyed it more with all of her juicy details & tidbits of extra knowledge sprinkled in and of course allll of her opinions about every character and every detail. like she always noticed details about *everything* in life that most are oblivious to. through her i was able to view life through fresh eyes.. Watching tv was never *just* watching tv with my sugar plum gal pal. It was so much more. It was gal pal gurly gossip time. It was snug bug time. It was snowflake kisses<3 it was let’s smoke a blunt and maybe a bowl it was let’s have a snack turned into im actually pretty hungry let’s cook dinner(: It was chitter chatter about about whatever was happening in the show turned into hours long in depth conversations going deeper than anything found on any silly tv show. everything with her was so much deeper than anything mundane. deeper let’s go deeper and deeper until we are lost souls floating through time of time is even real. let me pick ur brain while you get lost in my eyes & play with my hair. all of a sudden it’s the middle of the night it felt like it was only an hour ago that we lay down to put 90 day finance:p on yeah let’s draw a bath pretty gurl(: let’s light the candles and get the bubbles all bubbley for you. gotta make sure the water is hotter than hot basically sculding hot like I’m trying to boil u alive and then still not hot enough just a little bit hotter. after our bath let me dry you off and dress you in jammies. only for you to get into bed and strip down. ugh i miss u. i hope u like it in heaven. I hope u have a blanket made of stars, soft and fluffy like the milkyway. maybe even the northern lights as ur colorful night light(,: i don’t think u can switch the color of that night light with the flick of a lost remote tho hah i hope u feel all my love from way up there. I I love u every second of every day I love u in the those life long lasting moments between seconds those are times we spent falling in love we spent hot sticky summer nights falling in love under the stars in the back of Cinderella. and the golf course under the full moon. and the long walks around loops in my neighborhood. and of course in the woods. under the trees laying in tall thick grass. laying on blankets or yoga mats by the fire. fire flies dancing around doing a tango with the sparks from the fire. bugs and big spiders that would normally scare both of us enough to leave and never come back but none of that was enough to scatter us. we were stuck together. a parasite latched on to its host, in the most magnetic way. but instead it was both of us latched for life. u clung to me and i wrapped myself in and around you. we both needed each other in a way that nothing mattered if we didn’t have each other. & now i am stuck here on this silly revolving sphere and absolutely nothing has any meaning, not that feels fulfilling at least. my world is empty without u my dear. everything is black and white now. the world is grey. it’s so very dull without your luminous laughter radiating throughout. & your sparky sass and soft kisses. & your yearning to learn & live to the fullest in every moment. & your divine passion for life.

I hope u feel my love for u sweet angel girl. I love u with every breath I take, every beat of my tired tattered heart still beats for u. i miss u tremendously my dear angel girl. sleep tight princess<3 i know i feel your love in every breathtaking sunset, in all the extra bright like I’ve never seen before shooting stars that I’ve seen only since u’ve been gone, in the sweeping wind brushing through my hair just like when u would run ur long fingers through my blonde untamed hair…. i miss u more every day my dear angel girl. sleep tight pretty girl I love you<3

[lotus-flowerz]

hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa

AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<

i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3

TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES

SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS

KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS

The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.

It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.

These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.

You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"

You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.

"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."

His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.

One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.

He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

"Kazuha, it's not-"

"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kazuha."

You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.

Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.

It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.

Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.

Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.

Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.

"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"

The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.

"Alright doll, what happened just now?"

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"

Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.

"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."

"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.

You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.

"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.

You laughed. "Yeah, let's."

Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.

You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.

Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.

In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.

He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.

"You're scared of me."

"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"

"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."

"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"

"I'm listening."

You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.

"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."

"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."

He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.

"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."

You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.

"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."

"Night, prince/ess."

You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.

Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.

You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.

He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled/

You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Did he hit you??"

"I, um, didn't want to worry you."

"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."

Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.

"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"

"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."

"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."

"I don't want to cause trouble.."

"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."

"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[glassartpeasants]

That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️

The One That Got Away

Shigaraki x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cheating, death

A/N: Don’t threaten Bob

~~~

The bed felt different after that night.

2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.

*flashback*

“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.

“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?

“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.

“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.

“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.

He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.

Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.

*flashback over*

Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.

Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you. 

“Oh hey Dabi.”

“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”

“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.

“Oh? Did crusty do something?  Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.

“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.

“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.

“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.

You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.

~~~

You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.

“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.

“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”

“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”

“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.

“Hey....”

“.....”

“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.

You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.

You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one. 

“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short. 

“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.

“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”

“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”

“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”

“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”

“I-”

“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.

“.....”

“TELL ME DAMNIT!”

“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?

“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.

“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”

“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”

“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.

“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.

“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active. 

Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive. 

The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.

All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.

~~~

A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.

“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.

“Yes did something happen?!”

“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”

“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.

“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up. 

Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.

I guess you took your words seriously.