#every interaction with her had potential to end up in this subject: her giving me anxiety and paranoia over something - anything

[girltomboy]

Well, forget about the peaceful Saturday I was daydreaming about. As it always happens with my mom, she did her best to rattle and unsettle my spirits.

I was watching instagram reels in bed to tag my bf in, when she came into my room and sat on the bed next to me. Her footsteps sounded so rushed when I heard her walking towards my room that I thought she had something important to tell me, but she just came to hang out. And I could feel that something terrible was coming by the way she was stroking my hair, forcefully or forced, idk how to describe it. Mechanically almost. And then she asked me what I usually do on Saturdays. I told her I just lie in bed until noon, have a meal, chill inside or go for walks if it's nice outside. She then asked me if I don't feel bad spending my time alone, and I said no, I like being alone. The truth is that I'm almost never alone, because most of the time I'm on video calls with my boyfriend, or hanging out with my coworker. But I didn't even get to say that, because she asked me "wouldn't you like to find a boyfriend in that city?" I was like...? Huh? What for? Well, just to spend time and hang out and go on walks with... And just have a boyfriend. :-) I said well, I have a boyfriend. She replied "but he doesn't live in that city!" oh, I need one for every city? She was like "for all you know he could have someone else in his own city too". I was so mad I started shaking, I asked her why she would say something like that to me when she doesn't know anything about him, us, or me for that matter. She doesn't know our relationship, she's never cared about it, now suddenly she's worrying about me and who I spend my time with in my city? How can she say that to my face so casually like a joke, then smile? That is truly psycho behaviour and I shut that shit down immediately. She apologized (well, not really, she just told me to not be mad at her and tried to change the topic) and told me to tell my bf to take care of me. Like thanks, he's really gonna appreciate that after you just implied that he's cheating on me and suggested I do the same. Anyway, after this she told me the story of how she discovered that my stepdad had a mistress and about how so many ppl tried to tell her about it but couldn't because of him. And how they had so many fights because of that. I wanted to tell her to not allow this betrayal to project her insecurities and bad experiences onto me, but I just couldn't find the words, and we had to whisper so as to not be heard by him. It's terrible, I know she skipped some details because she also told me this story via text, and there were some truly truly barbaric and mind-shattering aspects of it. But after our discussion from before I couldn't find it in me to feel as terrible for her as I should have, or to display the affection she might have needed. I just started tweezing my eyebrows 💀 like, she could just put her money where her mouth is and divorce him like she did with my cheating dad, but then her living/housing situation would just worsen. I mean, not tragically, but she would have to move back home with grandma, and the last time she had to do that she got super depressed. I know that because we shared a room 🙃 and, well, it would just be really sad. I get it. Plus, I don't think my stepdad is still fooling around, although you can never know. She told me "men are just like that" as a justification for why she said that hurtful thing, and while I know she was just projecting and she was also kinda right, I just don't feel like it's the thing to say about a relationship you know next to nothing about, your daughter's relationship at that.

[cherri-balms]

popular girl reader x sal? maybe they’re seeing each other secretly and she’s kinda mean lol

OMG!! Thank you so much for sending in your request for me! This is my first request so I'm a little nervous, but I'm excited too! I'm kind of going for a very free-form style for the time being while I get used to getting back into the swing of things! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I couldn't tell you why but I found this particular request very intriguing, I ended up taking a lot of creative liberty as I went going! I really hope you enjoy it!!! >v<

RAITING: G || EWC: 2K || READER GENDER: F ||

♥𝓢𝓪𝓵 𝓕𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓹𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵♥

♥Getting Together♥

♥〉〉 This kind of reserved, mean exterior is nothing new to Sal, at least after having to deal with Travis picking on him for most of his high school life. So needless to say he's gotten a bit of practice in this department! ♥〉〉 The difference between you and Travis that Sal hadn't dealt with yet (and made it just a tad rougher to get to know you), was that Travis was very clearly a confused kid without a healthy way to deal with his problems at home. You, on the other hand, were a bit more complicated to read.

♥〉〉 It seemed like you had everything a teenager would want. Every guy seemed to want to be with you, and every girl wanted to be you. You had lots of friends, good grades, a beautiful figure, and the most envious trait:

♥〉〉 A beautiful face.

♥〉〉 He couldn't understand why someone like you felt the need to be so stand-offish toward everyone. Maybe you really were just as stuck up and entitled as some of his friends Larry say you are?

♥〉〉 All this together should've made him stop, to pull his hand away from the fire before he got burned... but the temptation of the potential warm comfort outweighed that logic.

♥〉〉 He really became a moth in your light. Sal wanted to get to know you with each interaction, but not the intimidating [y/n] everyone had put up on a pedestal. Rather, he found you to be a rather tricky puzzle he couldn't put down until he solved it once and for all.

♥〉〉 Sal wasn't surprised his hardest challenge was just being able to get your attention. This was the other big difference between you and Travis: Where Travis went out of his way to get a rise out of Sal, you either blew off any attempt he made or one of your friends was quick to take your attention back.

♥〉〉 All while giving him that "Who do you think you are talking to someone like her" look he was all too familiar with throughout his life. It was also something that made him envious of your good looks even more...

♥〉〉 After an intervention from his friend group he was all but ready to give up until he finally got his moment alone with you.

♥〉〉 It was late in the afternoon when all the clubs were letting out and the sports teams were finishing up with practice. Typically, Sal wasn't the kind of guy to stay after school preferring instead to continue his ghost investigation in Addison Appartments.

♥〉〉 But, art was his weakest subject. With Larry and Ash busy getting tutoring from Todd for their own academic struggles he had to take it upon himself into putting in more elbow grease to bring his grades up with the teacher. As the sun began to set earlier during daylight savings, the nearby coast's storm clouds had moved in over Nockfell, making their presence known with the loud warnings of thunder before the inevitable wind and rain.

♥〉〉 Before Sal could worry about getting home, his cell vibrated with a text from Larry letting him know he and Lisa were on their way in place of his dad.

♥〉〉 When he headed up to the front entrance to wait for Lisa and Larry, he didn't expect to see you sitting up against the wall alone, looking down at your phone.

♥〉〉 "[Y/N]? I didn't expect to see you here so late.." His start at conversation only got him a quick glance, your appearance illuminated in the spotlight your phone gave in the dim lighting of the school after hours. Alright so far, not so good it seemed...

♥〉〉 Waiting a few moments to see if you would respond, he tries again, "Are you waiting for your ride? I'm waiting on mine right now, can I sit with you?" Same as before, silence. This time though you had scooted over just enough to let him sit next to you. Hey! That's progress!

♥〉〉 "That was what I was waiting on. I only stayed this late because I was going to dinner with my friends after they finished tennis practice, but they cleared out early when the weather got bad and forgot me. Well..." you move a little closer to show Sal the texts you were just having between your friends, and what he read made his stomach churn.

♥〉〉 The messages revealed they hadn't forgotten to come get you at all, rather they left you there on purpose as a sick joke knowing you had no way home. Sal didn't even try to hide his frustration, not even able to read the rest of the texts.

♥〉〉 "Don't make such a big deal out of this Sally Face. They just wanted to inconvenience me a little, we do stuff like this all the time."

♥〉〉 Seeing this happen to you hit especially close to home, as his "friends" back in Jersey had teased and messed with him in similar ways. It wasn't until he met Larry, Todd, and Ashley that he got to see what it was like to have a proper support system.

♥〉〉 He could also see a little further into your attitude now, it was almost like treating others and being treated with cruelty was just an expectation...

♥〉〉 Sal knew he wasn't going to be able to change your entire outlook with one conversation, but the least he could do was show you that same compassion his friends first showed him as bright headlights soon flooded the room from outside.

♥〉〉 "I'm gonna ask Lisa if it's alright to drop you off home too, it's way too dangerous to walk home at night- let alone in a storm like this."

♥〉〉 "The hell you aren't." The sudden blunt rejection was most certainly not what he was expecting, but neither was the light tint of pink your cheeks held. "Like I'm gonna let you of all people put me in a debt, I'll get home just fine. But, here-"

♥〉〉 You took out a pen from your bag and started scribbling something down on his hand, something he couldn't quite read in the lack of proper light. "This is just so I can let you know I got home safe, alright? Don't be a weirdo about this later." You didn't waste a second after that to leave the building (and him dumbfounded)

♥〉〉 Stepping outside himself, Sal finally got a good look at what you had written down on his hand.

♥〉〉 It was a phone number! Your number! An odd, and honestly quite crude way of giving him your number but hey, he wasn't upset.

♥〉〉 Once he finally got home he shot you a text letting you know who he was and that he was safe, finding himself glued to the screen until he got a reply back.

♥〉〉 Eventually his nerves were put to ease when he got the reply, and for some unexplainable reason, it made his heart skip a beat when he read it:

♥〉〉 > Hey Sally, lyk I'm alive. Drenched, but alive. > Sorry for leaving so suddenly, thank you for keeping me company

♥〉〉 Maybe you really were just a normal girl after all ♡

♥Being Together♥

♥〉〉 Getting into a relationship wound up going quicker than expected after your first proper encounter!

♥〉〉 Sal was quick to realize that you were never intentionally trying to be mean to him, not even really as a front for your friends. Rather, none of your snide remarks had any weight to them at all; the definition of hot air.

♥〉〉 Because of this your relationship was never really intended to be a secret in the start, rather you were still getting used to genuine communication and tended to revert to your typical ways in public. While Sal understood, both of your social circles just thought it was business as usual.

♥〉〉 Even when you had started transitioning into more romantic forms of affection, Sal was already not one for PDA so even your social status aside he wasn't really ready to venture into heavy romantics immediately.

♥〉〉 Which was something you found oddly sweet about your growing bond with him, because as one would expect you had been on many, many dates before Sal. You both had a dynamic where you were able to show the other a foreign kind of relationship you weren't used to.

♥〉〉 The problem arises when you do secretly date on purpose...

♥〉〉 See, Sal is wildly known to be an awful liar, and even worse when it came to keeping secrets.

♥〉〉 Between him turning down hangouts with his group, checking his phone a lot more often, and just in general having a different air to him everyone could tell he was hiding something. Larry most of all had been suspecting Sal had a romantic partner behind his back before anyone else though.

♥〉〉 Furthermore, you had slowly begun drifting away from your old friend group. Not only that, but you'd been rejecting date offers a lot more frequently.

♥〉〉 It finally took one specific day of repeated bad luck for Larry to finally get frustrated enough to say something. with a combination of a failed math quiz, a minor argument with his mom earlier in the morning, and the god-awful bologna to eat Larry was especially not in the mood to put up with Sal's distance in the conversation.

♥〉〉 "Sal, with all due respect can you PLEASE just reveal your secret date or pay attention to the conversation."

♥〉〉 Proceed to the dead silent, blank stares from everyone at the table. Yeah everyone suspected it (and had a feeling Larry was going to bring it up first) but no one thought he was going to go nuclear with it.

♥〉〉 "Ugh- haha Larry- what are you talking about I'm not dating-"

♥〉〉 "Don't even try that Sally Face we all know a man in love when we see it."

♥〉〉 For once Sal was kind of glad he had a prosthetic face. It made it very easy to hide embarrassment in times like these. Either way, the cat was out of the bag and he figured he had to introduce you to his friends eventually, so maybe this was an open opportunity for them to get to know you!

♥〉〉 "Hmmm... How about instead of me telling you, I introduce you guys to her. Is that fair?" The promise of actually getting to meet Sal's girlfriend already piqued the group's interest by far, so they didn't fight him when he left to go retrieve you.

♥〉〉 When Sal came back with you, however...

♥〉〉 Jaws were on the floor, Ashley may have gotten milk up her nose preventing a spit take, and Larry...

♥〉〉 "Break up with her." "LARRY-"

♥〉〉 Unfortunately here is where your previous treatment of Sal is going to bite you in the ass. The gang had a difficult time accepting Travis already, as a friend, but you as Sal's girlfriend is going to take a lot of work convincing you aren't just taking advantage of his kindness.

♥〉〉 It's actually because of this Travis is the first one you were able to befriend within the group- and actually got pretty close with. While in different contexts, Travis believed your claim of being influenced by toxic people in your life and genuinely meant no ill will to Sal. Hell, even outside of Sal's group you two hung out quite frequently.

♥〉〉 No one by far is surprised, but the hardest member to sway over was Larry, but also obtaining his blessing was something important to both you and Sal.

♥〉〉 Time is the only thing that will get his approval. If you stick with Sal long enough to prove you're serious about dating him then he'll know you're genuinely making an effort. ♥

[charles-simmons]

My "small" essays on why Sootcest has actual interesting ships, except I'm only writing this to piss off a friend who hates selfcest. I'll send it to her later

Episode 1: Ghostbur x Revivebur

This is probably the most famous Sootcest ship, which makes sense. They have almost opposite personalities and even opposite colors schemes (blue vs red). These are common characteristics in ships, because people love seeing character that could never get along together being together.

But besides from that, what makes the ship specially interesting is the fact they're technically the same person. Now, some people might disagree with that. They have different memories, opinions, and act differently from each other. There are multiple theories on why the ghosts don't act like their alive version, which is something I can talk about on a different analysis. The point is, they're kind of the same person, but not quite the same person.

There's one thing that needs to be clear for this analysis and that is: Wilbur wasn't murdered, his death was assisted suicide. He begged for his father to kill him and it was his decision to die.

With that in mind, it's hard to believe someone who wanted his own life to end would fall in love with himself, or, in this case, a version of himself.

Ghostbur is a version of Wilbur who (supposedly) has no bad memories. Our experiences and everything we went through is what shapes who we are. Since Ghostbur doesn't have many of Wilbur's bad memories, It's like he didn't even live these things, therefore, didn't became the person Wilbur did. So, to a level, Ghostbur is the person Wilbur could've been if it wasn't for all the trauma he went through - trauma that led to him losing his mind.

Let's talk about Revivebur specifically now, the man who wanted to end his existence, but had to endure 13 years in limbo. Canonically, for him to be revived, Dream had to kill Ghostbur. In the few moments where Ghostbur was mentioned to him, he expressed dislike towards him or avoided the subject, which is understandable. For some it must feel violating to have someone who looks like you walking around and interacting with the people you knew. Someone as proud as Wilbur would probably hate the idea of being impersonated (not that that was what Ghostbur did, but it seemed to have felt like it). There's also the fact that people seemed to like Ghostbur better than him.

With all of that I think I can say that neither of them seem to have a positive opinion about each other. Revivebur has shown discomfort when it comes to Ghostbur, and Ghostbur is simply too different from Wilbur to even aprove or understand some of his actions.

Even if it was possible for them to coexist and for Wilbur to be revived without Ghostbur dying, there's a high chance they would simply avoid each other and actually live their lifes as different people. The idea of them actually actually falling in love is unlikely, which is what makes it interesting. They would have to face a lot of discomfort to even be around each other, let alone start liking each other. There's too much guilt and self hatred coming from both of them, which makes me wonder how toxic a relationship like that would be. Ghostbur would probably have a "I can fix him" mindset, while Wilbur would probably be dry and cold most of times, then "compensate" by giving him attention every now and then. Maybe with time they would actually do some good to each other, or maybe not and it would end up being a bad thing.

Regardless of all of this, Ghostbur and Revivebur are both very complex characters, so we don't know for sure what or how it would happen. The fact this ship is even a thing is funny, but it does have potential to be an actual chance to understand more about these two characters and how they perceive themselves and their own worth, which is why I genuinely think this ship is interesting. And with that, I conclude this essay.

Thank you if you read all of this by the way. My next one will probably be about Argbur and Incelbur. This is way too fun to write, so even if no one reads it I'll probably write it anyway.

[danpuff-ao3]

2022 Standouts - Yet Another Rec List

Okay, LISTEN. There was lots of greatness to be had in 2022. This is not my fault. This is all of your faults. This is what you all get for having so much talent and passion for fandom!! Some of us are overly excitable and chatty and can't shut up!!

In fairness, one can never spread too much goodness and positivity. If I talk about the same fics, the same creators, and make new lists every other day, it's all born out of love and appreciation, which the world could use plenty of! And with that said, these are all my own opinions and preferences so please keep that in mind!

So...here we go?? Should I do a Top 22???? That seems fitting.

1.) Post Mortem [fic, Snarry, E, 17k] by @inarticulateimbecile. I'm still dying over how fabulous this is. The characterizations, the dynamic, the descriptions...chef's kiss, truly. This might be one of my new favorites. (Also this Snarry art they did as a runner up, though all of their art just does things to me.) (I really would have thought art would have been their mention on this list, but no, they had to go be a great writer, as well!! Rude of them, really.)

2.) Slipping [fic, Snarry, 11k] by @bluesundaycake are you kidding me???? This is fabulous. Gritty postwar story that is too real with our hero, Harry, not "living up" to his potential, and not having the happily ever after he so deserves with a bittersweet, hopeful ending. Just lovely.

3.) The Lover and the Boytoy [fic, Drucius, Snaco, Draco/Snape/Lucius, E, 10k] by @fleetingdesires. Why the heck are my friends so talented?? This is offensive. And like...I clicked it for the Malfoycest?? And I left with Snucius feels?? What the heck. Just ??? Brain melted, all I can say.

4.) Clip, Ravel, Cleave [fic, Andromeda/Bellatrix, Andromeda/Ted, E, 15k] by @vdoshu. It was hard to narrow it down to one doshu work because wow they've done the dang thing this year!!!! So much great variety, but this one really blew me away. However toxic and dark the sisters' relationship was, I was rooting for them and heartbroken for them. What a beautiful, dark, sad story.

5.) Wind and Cardamom [podfic, Angelina/Hermione, G, 5 minutes] by JocundaSykes (fic by Arsenic). All of Joc's podfics are truly so, so good. Her voice work is always amazing and I easily can (and have!) listened to her read all day. Nothing like having a good fic read to you while doing chores, let me tell you!

6.) Lover's Flight [poem, Snarry, T, 200] by PinaNaponi (@vulnerasanenturmyprince.) My dear Nina is another case of "stupidly talented friends" and "hard to narrow down", but since I've waxed poetic about some of her other works recently, and in other lists, I figured I'd shed some light on this lovely thing. It's an adaptation of Goethe's "Elf King."

7.) Compulsory Figures [fic, Snarry, 6] by @liladiurne. Listen, my lovely Lila has arguably "better" works, and more "literary" works, but...her smut speaks to me, okay? I read this and was like "Ooooh, Lila can be FILTHY." I'm obsessed with it. Even back when it was just an idea and she was brainstorming it, I was obsessed. In fact, I was grocery shopping with my partner and being useless because I couldn't stay away from our DMs talking about said idea! Then she actually wrote and posted the dang thing and !!!! Obsessed.

8.) Some morning cuddles and coffee [art, Linny] by @luendland. Lu's snarry art is great, but they also do other ships (and characters) too and equally as lovely!! This Linny one speaks to my heart. It's so warm and lovely and gives me all the feels. I do digging for it to fawn over fairly often!

9.) Alphard's Favourite [fic, Sirius/Peter, Sirius/Alphard, M, 4k] by @thistlecatfics. Another top tier fic from Blackcest Fest! Not a ship I ever had interest in but oh gosh. The complicated characterization of Peter, the screwy interactions between him and Sirius, the way Sirius acts out as a way of dealing with trauma. It's such difficult subject matter treated in such a realistic manner. Not "good", not "easy", not "romantic", just that gritty, awful realness of how trauma impacts us, and how we don't always handle it in perfect, ideal ways.

10.) Untitled Harrymort Art [art, Harrymort] by @mrviran. I have no words. This isn't even my ship. But good golly is this spicy hot!! The corset! The sweat! Voldemort's smug, amused, mischievous little grin! Those red eyes and the red string!!!! Wooooo boy.

11.) Death and the Snarry [art, Snarry] by @necromanticnoir. This is another case of "I expected one thing from this creator, but my top choice for them is another??" Great writer is Noir, but also artist???? Multi-talented folk are killing me, I stg. And like...I need more Snarry versions of Klimt works, truly. So gorgeous!

12.) even the stars admire you [art, Snarry] by @acydpop. Speaking of Snarry versions of Klimt, THIS GORGEOUS THING. I'm so obsessed. Look at those colors!! Look at that embrace!!! Oh geez, I'm having feelings.

13.) Tom Riddle: interview with @phantomato [podcast] by @fanficmaverickpodcast. ChaosBlue is a great host and listening to writer interviews is always such a treat! And hearing what Phantomato had to say here was super fascinating, and made me much more intrigued by the Tom Riddle/Voldemort character!

14.) Snape's Hungry for a Snaco...[podcast, Snaco] by @careofmagicalshippers. Every episode of this podcast is great. Megs and Nathan are charismatic, hilarious, passionate hosts and listening to them chat is always such a fun time. Even guest episodes, even when Megs or Nathan is out, they have such interesting people to talk to and such interesting ships to talk about. This Snaco episode in particular spoke to me! (Especially since they went into it intending to cover Snack, but moved onto Snaco fairly quickly...I don't blame them!)

15.) When the Rose and the Fire Are One [ficbinding, Snarry] by @witchyficbindery. The fic by perverse_idyll is just stunning, as all of her works are! I believe earlier this year I was chatting about how I'd love to have fics on my shelf and what I imagined they might look like. And I thought "this fic would have to be STUNNING, just visually stunning." And midway through this year, I saw this post about an actual ficbinding of this fic! And...I was correct. And completely blown away. This cover is more gorgeous than I could have imagined. All of witchyficbindery's bindings are so, so outstanding. I can't imagine how they do it! But this one is the clear standout to me.

16.) 22 femslash recs from 22 years [rec list] by @consistentsquash. Squash always has the best recs, I stg!! Writer crushes I've had, but reccer crushes?? Such good taste, and always such good things to say. And this list especially is great with lots of gems for wlw content!

17.) Traid/Threesome recs [rec list] by @sitp-recs. Liv is a Queen Reccer, truly! This one is especially nice with options for Drarry+ ships, and non-Drarry ships, and a few bonus moresome fics! Lots of good stuff on this list, and more for me to check out! (RIP my TBR, fr.)

18.) The Bravest Man [fan-comic, Snarry, T] by @ac1d6urn. Acid is such a very skilled creator, both as a writer and an artist! The story, the characterizations, the art...all so stunning and perfect!

19.) Snitches and Songs [fic, Snarry, E, 50k] by @lizzy0305. When I tell you how PUMPED I was to see when this story was posted. Lizzy fic? Check. Severus sings? Color me intrigued. 'Magical tattoos'? Sign me UP. Then...I spent ages waiting to read it because I'm weird and like to "save" things that I know are going to be good. And I was right to save it! (Also: I should have read it sooner!) (Please don't expect my brain to do logic, because it will not.) What a gorgeous and enjoyable love story this was! My plan is to give this one a reread soon, actually; with luck, in January! (And I'll have the time and energy to do so!)

20.) A Life Worth Remembering [Snarco, E, 22k] by @writcraft. When Writ first reached out to me, I had to be like "okay, self, be cool. Don't fangirl and scare them off, okay?" Turns out, Writ is a lovely human and hearing they were coming back to Snarry had me just plain ecstatic!! And while Snarco isn't always my jam, I did know how invested they were in writing it, and couldn't resist checking it out! And I'm so glad I did!! One, because Writ's work is always fantastic. Two, because...I was sold on Snarco???? Maybe???? Or as close as I get to being sold. Geez Louise. It's such an interesting tale of de-aged Snape, the memories he lost, the established Drarry, and how they all come together. Their dynamic as a triad, and the individual pairs that make it up (Drarry, Snarry, and Snaco), and the individual people are all so lovely and well done!!

21.) Obedience Lessons [Snarry, E, 7k] by @likelightinglass. Um, how many times have I read this story this year? Too many, probably. (Is there such a thing as too many? Who knows.) ANYWAY. A/B/O with Alpha Harry and Omega Snape???? Yes please and thank you. All the kink and spiciness that I love. 100% did it for me (multiple times.)

22.) The Afterlight [Snarry, E, WIP] by @perverse-idyll. Good golly. Can I tell you how overjoyed I was when PI first posted this???? New PI Snarry???? All of my hopes and dreams coming true, awesome. And it's only 4 chapters in (out of ????) and so far, so GREAT. Postwar, death themes, gritty realism, A+++ characterizations, dark and spicy Snarry dynamic!!!! I don't often read WIPs (my patience is nonexistent, and not knowing how things end is bad for my anxiety (let's please not talk about my undying love and need of spoilers)), but this is totally worth it. I'll wait forever and a day for this fic if I have to. PI has been among my favorite authors for YEARS and for good reason. Characterization and relationships always so on point and exactly what I want and need. Not to mention gorgeous, stunning, unforgettable prose. The words that strike right through the heart, and burrow in to live there forever. Genuinely, PI's work is always stellar, and I already feel in my bones this will be a favorite. It's already the WIP I most look forward to update emails for! (Not that I have many, in fairness.) (Again, I generally steer clear of WIPs; no offense WIP writers. It's for my own good, I swear!) Side note: PI is another excellent human who I so appreciate knowing. Thanks for always taking time to listen to my babbling, especially knowing how busy you always are!

[memoamp]

Vivian Tang (she/her) - UCI '23

Career Goal: Army Medical Officer/Physician

Major/Minor: Biological Sciences Major/Psychology Minor

Introduction: Hello! My name is Vivian, but everyone usually just calls me Viv! I recently graduated from UCI with a degree in Biological Sciences and am currently working as a phlebotomist as well as studying for the MCAT. I really, really love cats and spend a good chunk of my day either watching or making cat videos on TikTok with my lovely kitty Bao Bao! /ᐠ.ㅅ.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗ I am also a very active person and go to the gym almost every day, so if you have any questions regarding fitness or exercising, I’m more than happy to give you some advice or pointers for you! :’))

Involvements: During undergrad, I was involved in MEMO as Co-PR and Social Chair for two years! I was also a research assistant for the Rose Lab on campus which experiments on Drosophila melanogaster (fruit flies) and studies how aging and diet is correlated to one another. Since this lab is biology and film/media based, I had the chance to create educational documentary videos of our findings and present our data uniquely like a nature documentary instead of a presentation. Outside of school, I worked at a family clinic starting out as a front/back MA until I got my phlebotomy license to draw blood. I currently still work at the same family clinic but as a phlebotomist instead! Extracurriculars: My favorite extracurricular that I look forward to every week during school was MEMO gen meetings! This was a chance for me to interact with all of my friends and build new friendships with others who also show up! The big/little and family programs allow for you to build these connections and I highly recommend that you join them during the school year. Right now, I am currently studying for the MCAT, which is a long and arduous period for me since I'm diving deep into subjects and mentally preparing myself for this 7+ hour test. However, I know at the end of the day, everything will be worth it!

What kind of advice would you be giving? Get involved early no matter what it may be: organizations on campus or volunteering at your local hospital. Try to build connections with those you are surrounded with because this will be the best way for you to network between like-minded individuals! And most importantly, don't be afraid of the unknown! I joined MEMO my freshman year of college and didn't really have friends at the beginning. However, when you keep showing up to gen meetings or to social events, you will start to build these connections with those around you! Fast forward to today, I've met so many of my current friends through MEMO and hope that you can also do the same throughout your undergrad into post-grad years!

Best piece of advice you've received? This goes out to my Army doctor/mentor Dr. Flick. One time when we were having a conversation over the phone about the hardships of balancing Army med and civilian life, he told me "you can only blossom where you are planted." I thought that this was a beautiful representation of what my life would be like in the future because nothing is set when being on active duty. I could be in California one day and in another country the next. But no matter what, being adaptable and malleable in all circumstances allows for you to grow as an individual and blossom into your fullest potential.

Preferred method(s) of communication: Email, Facebook Messenger, Instagram

[lokiskitten]

Darling I loved adventurous trip soooo much - I thought that you maybe could do a second part where the deflowers the Reader? Or maybe he gives her first head? I am not sure you can choose 🥰 If not that’s also perfectly fine thank you

Tom Hiddleston | adventurous trippt2

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : ( refer to part 1 ) after the eventful afternoon you guys spent together, you decide to offer Tom your virginity. He therefore takes the initiative to drive until a motel where you two decide to spend the night.

warnings : smut, age gap, kissing, deflowering, unprotected sex, breeding kink, intra!ejaculation.

Wind brushed through your hair as Tom drove onto one of the many isolated roads of Britain, his hand gently resting onto your thigh whilst the other one kept a firm grip of the steering wheel. A small smile had progressively formed on his lips, his sunglasses gracefully resting on top of his nose as he hummed along the song which played on the radio. Your childish self playfully stared out of the window, watching the landscapes that passed by and disappeared at a rather fast pace whilst enjoying the warmth Tom’s palm offered your upper thigh.

“I don’t want to go home.” You suddenly affirmed, catching the grown man’s attention as he took half a second to shoot you a simple look. He then looked back at the road, thumb rubbing against your clothed flesh. “We don’t have to. We can stop somewhere else for the night.” He answered reassuringly, earning joy from your tormented soul. Now, this was one of the reasons to why you loved him : he was always willing to participate in your unexpected change of plans. “That’d be lovely.” You responded, your hand now landing on top of his in order to accentuate the physical contact you desperately craved for.

This upcoming event managed to strike some confidence within your heart. If you had behaved shyly at first, the accumulation of physical contact and interactions easily led you to crave for more. You wanted Tom to be the first. “I want you to be the first.” You announced, earning an eyebrow raise from the older man who also stood as your best friend. He seemed surprised to hear such a thing, yet his rational heart also felt flattered that you were willing to offer him all of your trust by giving yourself to him. “Well..” He spoke lowly, clearing his throat in order to offer himself some extra time to think about all of this.

“Is it really what you want?” He ended up asking on a rather serious tone, which allowed you to guess that he was nowhere near being joking. Now, this made you shift in your seat as a layer of anxiety now took over your formerly confident mindset. Tom had managed to make you doubt due to his cold words. “Umh.. yes?” You responded hesitantly, fearing that this would also reduce the chances you had for the older man to believe you. “Mmh.” Groaned Tom as his vehicle penetrated into a random Motel’s parking lot. He stopped his car into one of the emplacements before turning off the engine, his body then turning towards yours as he was now able to focus his entire attention on your saddened self.

Instead of speaking up, the man unexpectedly began to caress your hair before bringing a few loose strands behind your ear. His thumb and index finger took a gentle hold of your chin in order to move your face towards his, ocean blue eyes making contact with your rather turned off self. “Hey..” he began calmly, wanting to slowly dip you into the subject. “You don’t owe me anything. You know that, right?” Tom questioned, earning an understanding nod from you. Never once had you thought that you owed your friend something, but it was probably better for him to see and understand it with his own eyes. “Right.” Tom finished before turning back around and reaching for the door handle.

He opened the door of the vehicle before stepping out of the car, anxiously looking around and seeking for random people passing by which he thankfully didn’t spot. Tom had always enjoyed peace, but also remained aware that motels didn’t necessarily have a good reputation. The last thing he wished was to put you in danger. You got out of the car as well, slamming the door shut after yourself before beginning to follow the grown man until the motel’s reception desk. It didn’t take long for the two of you to book a room for the night, which Tom generously agreed to pay by himself, before being handed the key to your temporary apartment.

The room was petty, and so was the decoration and global hygiene. Yet the fact that you would get to spend an entire night with your friend managed to make you forget about all of those irrelevant details. Tom dropped his jacket onto one of the chairs after he had taken care of closing the door behind your agitated silhouette. His body turned towards yours, mind remembering about what you’ve previously told him in the car. His hands traveled up to your cheeks which he rubbed with his thumbs, the man taking steps forward in order to make you automatically back away towards the bed. Tom looked right into your soul, yet without ever appearing intrusive nor inappropriate. In contrary, it all felt amazingly right.

His lips ended up pressing against yours again, offering you another taste of his flesh for the first time since you had put an end to your first intercourse back in the car. You allowed yourself to shyly kiss back as the back of your legs collided with the dirty mattress, a sensation which managed to pull you back into reality. Pulling away, Tom watched in awe as you took the initiative to lie down on the bed yourself, your head soon colliding with the stiff pillows whilst your friend took care of patiently removing your shoes. He allowed himself to pull off your sock, his lips offering your ankle a delicate kiss whilst his ocean blue eyes continued to stare at your face.

A smile then appeared on his lips as the grown man began to lower his silhouette in order to get on top of you, your hands reaching out for his shoulders which you held in a needy manner. If you hadn’t hold yourself back, whimpers could’ve easily been escaping your lips by now. You were desperate to receive more of him. Again, his mouth came in contact with your open lips- tongue slipping inside of your mouth in order to get a taste of your saliva. You enjoyed this brand new, warm and moist physical contact. Tom’s hips soon began to grind against yours, his cock hardening within his pants at the thought of getting to intimately discover your body in a couple of minutes.

Though you were usually considered as an overthinker, this new position managed to make you forget about anything which didn’t regard the upcoming matter. You could feel genuine love and passion burning through every single of Tom’s kisses, his large hands roaming your waist as his hips continued to happily collide with yours. The scent which erupted from his neck and overall silhouette was quite intoxicating- the man having done a great job when it came to choosing the right cologne. An eager moan came out of your mouth, catching Tom off guard and leading him to chuckle playfully.

His body hovered above yours, arms now holding him up so that his blue eyes would be able to make proper eye contact with you. “What was that?” He questioned ironically, obviously looking forward to ease the ambiance by teasing you. You hid your face behind your palms, smile appearing on your lips as Tom used one of his hands to move your arms away from your pretty face. The eye contact the two of you now engaged managed to make your heart melt, nothing but pure honesty reflecting in Tom’s ocean blue orbs. Anyone with a good instinct was easily able to feel if a specific person possessed negative intentions, and you could genuinely tell that your friend neared none of those bad thoughts.

“You’re beautiful.” He affirmed calmly, earning a head tilt from your shy self. You never truly knew how to properly react face to receiving an unexpected compliment. After taking a few seconds waiting for an answer, Tom decided to break the silence by beginning to go down on you, his large hand trailing down your thigh until he was kneeling in between your legs. His hands began to unbutton your jeans, which were then removed in order to allow the older man to praise your bare flesh. He lifted your leg up to his face, lips spraying rough kisses and gentle bites onto your inner thigh- moves which sent chills down your spine. You tilted your head back as your hands took a firm hold of the bedsheets.

Face to your positive reaction, a smirk appeared on Tom’s lips as his eyes were directed towards your face, lips still pressed against your skin as he progressively made his way towards your crotch. If you once felt intimidated by the thought of such an interaction, you couldn’t help but now want things to accelerate and accentuate. A few extra shy moans came out of your mouth upon sensing Tom’s nose near your clothed cunt, your genitals throbbing and soaking up underneath the comfortable cotton panties. One of your hands reached down for his shoulder, leading the man to look up at your exhilarated self. You were pulling onto his shirt- either suggesting for him to take it off or make his way back up to your upper body.

Being torn apart by doubt, Tom sat back up on his knees before beginning to unbutton his fancy shirt he once took off for you in the back of his vehicle. His defined abdominals were revealed to you yet again, your eyes still as pleased by this satisfying view. Smiling down at you, the man tossed the article of clothing away before leaning back down, lips colliding with yours in order to form a passionate kiss. You were now easily able to feel his hardened cock and that even through his pants, a sensation you couldn’t potentially get enough off and which sent your own genitals crazy. You were now desperately gripping onto his hair, wishing to install a little bit of extra heat within this already eager intercourse.

Tom obviously understood your signals as one of his hands traveled down until his pants which he began to undo, the other forearm keeping his body up above yours and making sure not to accidentally crush your smaller self. You looked down at his hurried action, your hands resting against your own chest as your eyes admired his perfectly veiny hands. In order to remain active as well, you ended up sitting up to remove your shirt, leaving yourself in nothing but your bra and comfortable panties. This was an initiative which visibly pleased the older man who barely just got done with unbuttoning and sliding off his trousers. As soon as he managed to get rid of his pants, the British gentleman was back at it again, more eager than ever.

His lips now praised your neck, the scent of your pheromones driving his own senses absolutely crazy. One of his hands dared to begin to massage your breast, offering it exactly the perfect amount of attention it needed and craved for. Your breath was shivery, and so was his. Tom was soon to begin a well deserved dry humping session, his hips eagerly colliding against yours as if he wanted you to get used to the upcoming interaction before it had even started. You moaned as you felt his warmth against your crotch, clit and lips throbbing out of need and envy face to such inviting manners.

“More..” you begged silently, eyes opening only to end up making contact with his. Tom smiled down at you, appreciating the way you seemed to be feeling more confident about the overall situation. “My fierce little girl..” he praised happily, his lips then pressing a kiss to your forehead. One of Tom’s hands slid down until his underwear which he pulled down, revealing his stiff member which you didn’t even bare to look at for now. Then, the grown man took a few steps back in order to remove your own panties, which were then tossed to the side like most of the pieces of clothing you once wore. Falling back down between your legs, an unexpected shiver ran down your spine as his warm tip collided with your clit.

Again, it was a brand new feeling you would surely get accustomed to, and which you would probably soon be begging for more of. But for now, anxiety had managed to take over your organism again. “It might hurt a little at first. The best you can do is relax, breath.” Tom explained reassuringly, not wishing for this upcoming sensation to take you off guard and potentially scare you for good. One of the male’s hands took ahold of your thigh, lifting it up against his hip and keeping it there whilst he began to line up with your sensitive entrance. Meanwhile, you calmly rested where you’ve been lying for a couple of minutes now whilst waiting for Tom to finally penetrate your cunt.

His tip ended up pushing inside of you at a slow pace, allowing your entrance to take the time it needed in order to stretch and accustom to his rather prominent size. A guttural groan escaped Tom’s lips upon finally feeling his cockhead being wrapped in your wetness, this sensation sending shivers down his spine and tickles within his own genitals. On another hand, you couldn’t help but wince silently in order not to offend your friend, your hands taking ahold of his shoulders for both physical and mental support. Thomas waited a couple of seconds before beginning to push himself further in, his girth breaking through your hymen which thankfully didn’t hurt one bit. It only felt as if something was stretching you out, but pain lacked.

Once he had finally reached balls deep, the calm adult looked down at you in order to spot potential facial expressions which could’ve betrayed the fact that you felt uncomfortable. He would obviously wait until these had eased up before he could begin to thrust in and out of you. The warm sensation of his balls pressed against your ass managed to pull you out of your negative thoughts, as it was a small add up indeed but which still managed to bring joy to your lustful heart. Your cunt couldn’t help but unintentionally contract around his member, leading Tom to wince every time your walls squeezed and got tighter against your will. It was a pleasuring feeling, but which also made the man crave for more.

After waiting for a couple of long seconds, Tom took the initiative to move out of your tight self, earning fainted hisses from you which progressively faded away the more his hips thrusted against and away from your crotch. Thankfully for the two of you, the minor previous foreplay had managed to soak you up perfectly- which obviously made it less painful for you than it could’ve been. You were now fully able to enjoy the beginning intercourse, your arms wrapping around Tom’s neck and pulling him closer to your desperate silhouette. Your eyelids closed, your brain seeking for extra concentration through this sexual interaction. Never once you had thought it could feel that good, and even less with a man who was twice your age. To be frankly honest, you hadn’t truly questioned the matter until today.

Tom moaned against your ear, his gutteral groans sending chills down your spine and shockwaves of pleasure through your crotch. Your entrance continued to occasionally contract around his thick girth, making the overall interaction even more enjoyable for the older man who was seeking intense sensations. You absolutely loved feeling his warmth against yours, the way his smooth skin would rub against your flesh in such a nice manner. You absolutely didn’t regret trusting him through this scary process, and you were now rewarded for your boldness and courage. The bedhead rocked against the wall as Tom thrusted in and out of you, hips rolling against yours in divine manner. None of you could potentially care nor even think about the neighbors’ tranquility at the moment, as you were too intoxicated by the ongoing intercourse to pay attention to your surroundings.

Thomas unexpectedly bit down onto your neck, teeth taking a gentle hold of your flesh as if the man wished to make you his, to mate, tame and claim you as his. As primal as it could appear, you enjoyed it. Besides, your heart now irrevocably belonged to him, which left no room for another man, or woman, to steal your devoted attention. His thrusts were now getting sloppier, exhausted pants exiting Tom’s lips as his hands moved underneath your back before taking ahold of your shoulders- probably in order to keep you in place when he would finally come. Again, you managed to bump into this rather primal side of his through small details such as this one. However, before you could think any further, you suddenly and unexpectedly felt a warm substance fill up your hole, staining your walls with heat and lust. Had he just..?

Seemingly satisfied moans escaped Tom’s lips as his hips remained tightly pressed against yours, balls twitching as they sent warm sperme shooting through his sensitive urethra which remained locked with your cervix. If there was a chance for you not to get pregnant, your friend had just wiped it off the list. The grown man moved up, face looking down at your crotch as he pulled out of you. “Ohhh... fuck.” He moaned, cum soon beginning to flow out of your twitching entrance. Now, this was an extremely delicious sight to the man who had a breeding kink- and who enjoyed admiring his good work. His thumb traveled up to your clit which he began to rub and tease; once again sending shockwaves of pleasure through your crotch. Your entrance contracted unwillingly, leading more semen to squirt out of your exhausted and sweaty self.

And I am back 😏 I hope you guys enjoyed this! Lots of love for all of you!! Thank you so much for the support and for 700 followers!!

[thelargefrye]

YEARNING FOR YOU. kang yeosang (18+)

── summary. you’re just within reach and yet every time he tries to get to you, you vanish right before his eyes... again and again and again.

── roles. mage!yeosang + mage!f!reader (ft. poly!mage!ateez & other idols)

── genre. smut + one-shot + mages + magic shop + supernatural + mythology + historical to modern day + romance + eventual poly relationship + angst + drama + reincarnation (most of these are for the overall story not necessarily this one-shot)

── word count. 3.3k

── warnings. nightmares + language + sub!yeosang & dom!reader + kissing + little hair pulling + one moment of spanking + anal fingering + handjob + degrading + amazon position + y/n is mentioned to have tattoos 

── developer’s note. happy birthday @atiny-piratequeen​ !! this is just a small something that i’m working on that’s inspired by against the tide !! i figured that since i probably might not get the whole story done by your birthday bc i’ve already been working on it for two weeks and i’m only still doing world and backstory building rip then i would just share a small piece that included yeosang. i’m still working on characters and personalities so anything you read here is subject to change by the time i get the first official chapter out. 

when the door to the shop chimed, yeosang didn’t bother looking up from his book he was reading. he knew that usually customers – humans at least – would just look around before leaving or come up to mindlessly flirt with him. it was the same thing every time the bell dinged. 

he could hear the customer’s shoes, heels to be exact, softly thudding across the old wooden floors as they strolled around the small shop. his hearing could pick up where exactly in the shop they were, so when they finally started nearing the back to where he and register were, he assumed this customer just wanted to flirt with him like always. 

“um, excuse me,” yeosang’s head shot up immediately at the sound of the familiar voice. you stood in front of him also with a look of shock from how quickly yeosang moved and his eyes flickered down to the canvas in your arms. 

“o-oh, um, hi. how can i... how can i help you,” yeosang says as he tries his best to relax, but honestly he doesn’t think he can, not when you’re here in front of him and talking to him. 

you smile softly at him before handing over the canvas you had in your hands, “this is the painting hongjoong asked me to paint. he told me i could find him and the rest of you here. is he, um, is he here by any chance?”

“huh? oh, yeah is he, let me go get him!” yeosang had never moved so fast before as he practically jumped off his stool and ran to the back to get the group’s leader and tell him you’re here. 

“y/n’s here!” yeosang says probably a bit too loudly and maybe just a little too excitedly but he hasn’t seen you in centuries. he has a right to be happy to see his missing lover. 

hongjoong isn’t by himself in the back, all the others are basically here too, except for jongho and san who had gone out to get information on how to help you remember your first life.

“she is? why?” mingi asks, a look of shock drawn on his face knowing you’re here just in the other room. 

“she brought the painting hongjoong asked her to paint,” yeosang says and hongjoong is quick to go to the front and yeosang picks up on how hongjoong greets you with a cheery tone. 

at first yeosang thinks about staying in the back and letting you and hongjoong talk for a moment, but his need to see you again overcomes that he heads back to the front of the shop. he hears the others coming up behind him as he does and he figures the others couldn’t wait either. 

a wave of memories washes over him as he sees you and hongjoong interacting so closely. all the times he would see you and hongjoong interacting on the utopia, all the lingering stares and touches you thought no one else saw, but in reality everyone saw.

he misses you. they all miss you. 

“wow, y/n, this is beautiful,” hongjoong can’t take his eyes off the painting you gave him and you have a proud look on your face as your eyes flicker between the male and the painting before you slowly look up and over at where him and the others are. 

“oh, i didn’t know you all worked here as well!” you say and greeted them all with a smile. 

“i actually own this shop,” hongjoong says and you turn to look at him in shock. “my grandmother ran this shop before passing it down to me before she retired.” yeosang couldn’t help but slightly snicker at how hongjoong called hyuna a grandmother. 

“really? that’s so cool! i had actually never been in this shop before until today,” you offhandedly as you glance around the shop some more. “oh!” you say catching the six males off guard as they watched you dig through your bag before pulling out eight envelopes. “siyeon is throwing a party and wants me to invite you all!” you say handing each other an invitation before giving jongho and san’s to wooyoung. “i hope you all can make it!”

“of course! we’ll do our best to be there,” hongjoong says, but yeosang knows that all eight of them are definitely going especially since you’re going to be there. “also, thank you again for the painting, it really is beautiful.”

“oh, of course! i’m glad you like it, i always enjoy painting sea related stuff, so this was a blast to paint,” you explain with a small laugh. “well, i should be going! i promised siyeon i would help her with party decisions, so... i’ll see you all around,” you say bidding the males goodbye before turning on your heels and leaving the shop. 

yeah, yeosang and the other are gonna have to work fast.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

sometimes when yeosang misses you, he’ll find himself remembering the time when you all were together on the utopia. he’ll remember how you use to help him in the kitchen, acting as both a hand and taste-tester to him. 

all the heated gazes the two of you shared being the reason for his flushed face that he would blame on the heat in the kitchen when the others would question him. although he was sure the others didn’t believe because his magic dealt with fire, so some kitchen heat was nothing for him. 

but no matter what the same thought still comes to him. he just misses you. he thinks that over and over again until he falls asleep and you appear in his dreams. 

it’s silly he knows it, mainly using his magic in order to ensure that you appear to him. he has sweet dreams when you are with him and others all enjoying your time together; however, the moment he remembers that none of it is real and that you are living a completely different life without remembering them, without remembering him. it all turns into a nightmare. 

and its always the same. the same day he and the others are forced to remember and sometimes relive again and again for centuries. 

“yeosang, wake up!” 

his eyes snap open and he feels hot, his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat and his eyes are immediately trying to get used to the darkness of his bedroom.

that voice... he thinks as he brings his hands up to cover his face. huh? was he crying? 

“yeosang,” he hears it again and sounds so close to him. right next to him and he feels like he’s still dreaming. but he turns his head and his brown orbs meet your own worried eyes as you sit next to him in his bed. 

“y/n...?” he reaches out to touch your cheek, his hands caressing your face and he gasps when he realizes you’re real and next to him. 

“why are you crying, love?” you ask him watching as he sits up. you reach over to brush his tears away before he suddenly takes you in his arms. “did you have a bad dream, yeo?”

yeosang doesn’t trust his words so he just nods his head as he nuzzles his head into your neck. “it’s okay,” you say softly, rubbing his back in comfort, “i’m here and nothings going to happen while i’m here. i promise.”

yeosang has heard you say those words before and it only makes him cry harder. you said that to him the first time you woke him up from a nightmare. you would always take him into your arms and hold him and wipe away his tears and tell him it’s okay and it’s all in the past. 

when yeosang does finally calm down, tears no longer running down his face, he slowly pulls away from you to lay back down. you lay down right next to him, pulling the blanket up to your chins as you brush hair away from his face. 

“i love you,” he says as he feels himself slowly falling back to sleep. you smile sadly at him, a hand still running through his hair as his eyes finally close. 

𐂴𐂴𐂴 

seonghwa was jealous, yeosang was 100% sure of that. the ice mage’s glare could probably set someone ablaze if he had fire magic instead. and honestly, yeosang doesn’t blame his boyfriend for being jealous because he was as well. 

“and who the hell is that?” wooyoung was the one who spoke up, shocked like seonghwa and himself at the sight of you talking to this unknown male. 

well, unknown to them at least. you seemed to be pretty close to the male, too close if yeosang or any of the others could say anything. 

“do you think they’re...” mingi didn’t want to say it out loud, probably knowing how much chaos he would cause among them if he did. 

yeosang wanted to be upset. upset at you for potentially going and falling in love with someone that isn’t them, but he couldn’t. he couldn’t be upset at you because this you, the one standing not too far from him and his seven lovers, this you isn’t the same you he met all those centuries ago. 

you don’t remember the love you shared and it broke yeosang’s heart. 

his eyes flickered over to seonghwa noticing the furrow in his eyebrows before he looks over to hongjoong who is just staring at you with sadness. then his eyes go back to you and this male who are sitting closely next to each other. the guy looks at you with such a softness that it reminds the fire mage of how seonghwa looks at all of them, with love. 

the male plays with the ends of your hair, running it over your face in a teasing manner that makes you laugh and yeosang would be lying if he said your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter. 

yeosang misses you.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

yeosang can’t help but sigh as soon as his body hit his bedsheets. he felt clean and relaxed after a long day of working in the shop below them and dealing with both humans and supernatural creatures alike. 

while he was staring up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes and started to doze off. he’s not sure for how long his eyes were closed, but he only opens them when he feels his bed dip. 

looking over he was greeted by the sight of you in little to no clothing and a warm smile on your face. 

“y/n, what are you doing?” yeosang was more than surprised to see you in his room. he was quick to sit up with a shocked expression as he moved so he was sitting right across from you. 

“what do you mean, yeo? i’m visiting you of course!” you say cheerfully. 

yeosang looked over you and he noticed the familiar tattoos that decorated your right arm. “you’re not real, are you?” he asked as he bowed his head so you couldn’t see his face. 

one of your fingers reached under to tilt his chin up and you looked at him with a gaze, “i’m as real as you want me to be,” you say with a smile as you leaned over and kissed him. 

yeosang immediately allowed you to take the lead. your lips guiding his as you ran a hand threw his hair and gently tugged on it causing yeosang to moan into your mouth as your tongue explored his mouth and while also teasingly play with his own wet muscle. 

yeosang was melting into the kiss, his hands coming up to your waist to pull you closer to him with your chest flushed tightly against his. when you pulled away from the kiss, yeosang tried to follow after your lips making you let out a small laugh at how cute he was acting. 

yeosang only looked at you with slightly dazed eyes, still not fully believing you are here in front of him which allowed you to push at his shoulders, making him fall on his back and into the softness of the bed. 

“y/n... please,” he whines as you hover over him slightly, both your hands caging his head to the bed as you look down at him. 

“what yeo? what do you want me to do?” you ask with a teasing smile, god, he hasn’t seen this smile in centuries. 

“p-please, please fuck me,” he chokes out and your smile turns into a grin as you trail your finger down the center of his body before it stops at the towel he still had wrapped around his waist. 

“want me to take it off?” he nods without hesitation, “words.”

“yes!” and the towel was unwrapped from his hips and now he was completely bare to you. his cock was only semi-hard when you removed the towel and yeosang watched as your fingers ghosted over the tip, just barely grazing it. “please touch me, don’t tease me,” he begs and you hum before wrapping your hand around his cock and slowly began stroking it until it was fully hard and an angry red, his pre-cum only just slowly starting to appear at his tip. 

he let out a string of whines and curses as you began moving your hand suddenly at a fast pace without warning. yeosang’s back arched off the bed, but your free hand came down to hold him still to the bed before you suddenly stop stroking him. 

yeosang watches you as you move in between his legs before grabbing the underside of his thighs, giving them a good squeeze before hoisting them up to his chest. when you let go of his legs, yeosang immediately went to hold them in place as his face was flushed a bright red. 

you cooed at him as you leaned over his bent body and kissed him before pulling away to look at his ass that was now on full display for you. his hole tight and pink as you played with it, wiggling just the tip of your index into him before pulling out. 

“you’re so tight yeo, does none our boys fuck you open enough?” yeosang moaned at the degrading tone you had laced in your voice. “that’s okay though,” you begin adding a firm smack to both his asscheeks, “i can just fuck you open myself.”

yeosang wanted to come with there and then at your words, but he only settled for letting out a few moans instead. he knew the minute he came then it would all be over. he watched you quickly stand up and go over to his bedside table and dug through the draw before pulling out a bottle of lube. 

yeosang watched as you squeezed the clear liquid substance into your palm before he felt you apply it to his hole. he moaned at the cold feeling it gave him as you rubbed it around his puckered hole before applying more to your fingers. fuck, he couldn’t hold his excitement as he felt your index probe at him before slowly slipping inside him. 

“f-fuck– oh god, please!” he moaned out, throwing his head back as you eased him open. your movements were slow, almost too slow as if you were messing with him and he looked over to meet your eyes. 

when you finally entered a second finger he felt his eye roll back as you started to pick up the pace a bit in your thrusting. yeosang let out a broken fuck as you slowly started hitting his prostate before grabbing his dick with your free hand and stroked him in time to your fingers thrusting in and out of him. 

“does that feel good?” you ask and yeosang can only nod as his head fell back onto the bed. you frown at his nonverbal response and quickly stop both your hands making his whine as you remove your finger from him. “i asked a question yeosang, so answer it,” your voice sent a chill down his back as if it was seonghwa speaking to him. 

“it does, it feels good,” he says, face burning red, “b-but...”

“but what? what do you want?” 

“please, let m-me... let me be inside you,” he says and you coo once more at him before you lean over him once more. your nose brushing his from how close you are. 

“do you deserve to be inside me? you may have a nice dick, but do you think you can use it to pleasure me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and yeosang felt his dick twitch from between the two of you at you questioning tone. 

“p-please, y/n, please u-use me to pleasure you,” he says out of breath and you let out a small laugh as you sat up and slowly grind down on his dick. the fabric of your underwear slightly damp from your growing wetness and causes yeosang to moan at knowing how close he was actual to you. 

“do the others know how much of slut you are?” you ask with a small laugh, “i’m sure they know how much you like to be used. hm, don’t they?”

“t-they do,” yeosang stutters out as he watches you move off of him to take your underwear off and he feels a chill run down his spine as you hover back on top of him to take his dick in your hand a position it at your entrance. 

“is this what you want?”

“y-yes!” you smile as you sink down on his length with a moan. yeosang lets his mouth drop open as you start to bounce on his length, the sound of your skin meeting his joining the sound of his and your moans. 

“f-fuck, yeosang!” you moan as yeosang takes you all in. his eyes fall on your chest which was still covered and he lets his legs go for a moment in order to unclasp your bra. you take your bra off and throw to the side now allowing yeosang the ability to see you completely bare now. 

god, how he missed this sight and he was glad you were using his legs as support for yourself because this allowed him to roam his hands over your body.  

getting lost in his pleasure he accidentally thrusted up making you glare at him before stopping, “toys don’t move, so still or i won’t let you cum,” you say and yeosang nods letting out a quiet y-yes before you continued between bouncing and moving your hips in figure-eights. 

yeosang felt himself grow closer to his orgasm and you clenching around him doing nothing but bringing him closer. “i-i’m c-close! please y-y/n! let me–

he own choked moan cut him off as he felt you clench around him as you came with a loud moan and a whimper of his name. you coming was enough to finally send yeosang over the edge as he took in the sight of you climaxing, knowing you used him to reach your own pleasure. 

it took you a moment before you slid off of him and next to him. you were quick to get him to put his legs down which felt a little sore from the position he held for so long. 

while he caught his breath he felt you reach over and press different kisses all over his face making him smile. you pressed a final kiss to his lips before cleaning him up and helping him under the covers. 

“i love you, y/n, please don’t disappear,” he says as you hold him close to you under the covers of his bed. you remained silent, only slowly running a hand through his hair and lulling him to sleep.

eventually, yeosang closed his eyes welcoming sleep as he fell asleep in your arms. 

when he woke up the next morning he was greeted by an empty bed and yeosang can’t tell if what he experienced last night with you was even real or just a dream. with a sigh, he gets up and starts to get dressed before heading out of his room and to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself and the others.

“i love you, too.”

[cinnamonruts]

SUMMARY → when a bright and loud girl comes into the 1-A classroom many old repressed memories already arise. even though aizawa praises himself for being a clear and logical thinker, he knows it can’t be him even with how quirks have evolve. yet all that logical reasoning gets thrown out when she shows her clouds at the quirk appreciation test. in the same moment aizawa promises himself he will not let history repeat itself.

PAIRING → aizawa shouta x student!reader

GENRE → platonic!relationship, hurt/comfort

WARNING → none

WORD COUNT → 1.5 k

MASTERLIST → an assortment of other fics

A/N → i read this hc about a kid in 1-A with the same quirk as shirakumo and wanted to write a scenario for it, but for the life of me i can’t find the headcanon anymore. if you can, PLEASE tell me who wrote it so i can give them the proper credit they deserve!

WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED U.A. you thought it would be fun. Hard work but fun; studying how to be a hero. Learning and working under others that have already gone pro. Not to mention walking down the halls where most of your greatest inspirations and the current number one hero had walked and harnessed their quirks so many years before you.

Something you had not expected was the constant reprimanding; “Stupid Aizawa-sensei, stupid gross tables.” you grumble annoyed, as you continue to clean the desks in the 1-A classroom, while everyone else is happily enjoying their lunches. Trying to wipe away Kaminari his smug face as he got off scot-free, making you subconsciously scrub the table harder. 

What had happened wasn’t even big enough to warrant such punishment. You had put your shoes on your desk and instead of just telling you not to do it or to put your feet down, Aizawa-sensei gave you a blank stare and said; ‘if you can’t respect the desk, you should clean them.’ completely ignoring Kaminari, Tokoyami and Bakugou who had their feet on the table and where now silently putting them down.

To add to that it was not the only punishment you have gotten in the last few months, and most likely will not be the last. It started the first week of school. Laughing at Kaminari short-circling in class? Make a presentation about the benefits of laughing. 

Got below an 80 in English, a subject you could not seem comprehend as well as the others, but did not do too bad at. Get singed up for cram classes. You don’t even know how he knew, not to mention how you are in the top five and definitely did not need cram classes.

Which let you to now; the final bell ringing, Aizawa-sensei dismisses the class and let’s you all go on your marry way to the dorms. Slowly packing your stuff in Kaminari, Bakugou, Sero, Ashido and Kirishima stay at the door.

“We don’t have all day, dumbass.”

Making a small smile tuck up your lips that he still took the moment to wait for you even when he pretends like it’s such a burden, “Go a head, I still have to ask a question.”

“We can wait.”

“It’s okay.” you reassure, and with that last wave and a little hesitation they left the room. Leaving you with your teacher, “Aizawa-sensei.” you say uncharastically softly. Trying to gain your teachers attention that is fully focused on his desk work, “I’m busy.”

Ignoring his dismissive words, you take a deep breath, word vomiting your question out, “Do you hate me?”

Your question seem to make the man freeze in his state. Before he slowly looks up from his work, “No.” he says simply. Nodding slowly you let the answer sink in, yet it only makes more questions come up, “Then why do you always reprimand me?”

“I give punishment where I see fit.”

Making your stomach twist into a more confused and annoyed state then it already was, “Yesterday I got punishment for having my feet on the table while I wasn’t the only one.” you point out. Shaking your head at the lack of integrity, “Kaminari, Bakugou, and Tokoyami had theirs on the table. They always do, and the one time I do it I get cleaning duty.”

“I don’t care what they did, I gave you a punishment.”

Without even realising it a cloud came up above your head, “But you always do. It’s like your breathing down my neck, waiting for me to fail!”

The cloud above your head darkening from it’s usual pale white state to a dark grey, “I wasn’t even at Cameno, and I got lunch duty for not telling you what they had planned while the rest of the class got free off. You’re singling me out and you can’t even be honest about it.” you snap, your voice louder then you ment it to be, but in the heat of the moment you could not make yourself apologise for it.

“You have a lot of potential, (l/n), but if you don’t get the proper guidance you might never be able to show the world that.”

The sincerity in his voice and the unusual soft expression on his face that you had never seen before on your teachers face made you want to believe him, but then again he lied like it was breathing air. And each time you and your entire class fell for it again.

The dark cloud had faded into oblivion as you let out a deep breath, “Well, I asked Hatsume to help me figure out what type of support items might work for me. We found someone who had a quirk like mine and they used a staff for fighting. So, now we are developing one.”

“How do you develop a staff?

“We send in a sample of my hair with the design. That was it should be more durable and be able for me to manipulate into my clouds when necessary for the element of surprise. In the meanwhile I have a wooden one,” you tell him, making him hum as he turns back to his work.

Twiddling your fingers you turn your face away, “which you would have know if you were also in All Might’s face.” you mumble, quickly looking back to your teacher if he heard what you said, but by the way his face didn’t change he didn’t hear it.

“Your cleaning duty is over.”

As soon as you arrive at the dorms you got bombarded with questions from your friends; before Iida demanded you ( and the others who hadn’t either ) to go upstairs, change into your home clothes, and help prepare dinner.

It was something you all would do every Friday, while on any other day it was devided into groups to make it for everyone else. Instead of everyone making it separately. 

Soon dinner passed and it bleed into the evening as the sun went under, the blankets got pulled out as everyone went under them. Getting settled and ready for the weekly movie night; “We should watch Banana Fish, I heard it was super sad and that rocks.” Present Mic purposes.

“No, no, Dumb and Dumber, that is what the kids like…” All Might trails off, his suggestion dying on his tongue as he sees our unimpressed faces, “Right, Midoriya-shonen?” he asks the boy, trying to find anyone to agree with him… kinda a bad move to ask his super fan.

“Maybe, I don’t know- some kids like it… But, it is kind of old. We- we could watch your film.” he panics, vastly waving his arms around as his entire face blooms red.

Smiling at the sweet interactions. Ashido groans loudly, rolling her head onto your shoulder, “Just pick a movie.” she wines, “Dark Knight has always been a favourite of mine.” Tokoyami offers.

At the end Midnight offered a rom-com and it might have been the headache of listen to more suggestion and not knowing a better pick, but it got put on and it was moderiably enjoyable yet your attention was pulled outside.

Glancing outside your eyes quickly find a frame sitting alone in the dark. You quickly identify the frame as your moody teacher. Standing up for your position under the blankets you move away, “Where are you going?” Ashido mumbles.

“Just taking a breath of fresh air.”

Making a plate, you make your way out into the garden. Placing it infront of him, before taking a seat next to him. It stays quite for a moment as he takes a bite of the food you had plated. Letting the silence continue; “Why are you sitting out alone, sensei?” you ask softly, breaking the silence as he takes a sip of his drink, most likely a cup of coffee.

Glancing up at the cloudy night sky, you aren’t quite sure what you are suppose to see… Everything is just gray and very bleak, no star to be seen, “Like cloud watching?”

“It reminds me of a time I couldn’t help someone that needed me.”

“Well... my M.O. is whenever you screw up, you should just keep smiling like usual.” you tell him, making a small smile tuck up his lips as he takes another sip of his drink.

“Thank you, ( y/n ).”

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | TAGLIST → @tsukkisbae

[leamy-world]

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 9 & 10)

It’s been a while since i’ve last been on tumblr, but i got invested in this drama every week & the fandom’s analyses to not talk about it sometime! (Last time i was hooked, it was with Beyond Evil and i watched it by the time the finale already aired so i didn’t suffer from the weekly wait!)

So here i am, this is mainly self-indulgent with essay-long interpretations of some scenes in a totally random order, but i’d love to interact with whoever reads this if they want to react!

I’m sorry for the potential awkward phrasings, english is not my first language!

- The recap was nicely done and tied everything together, it made me realize so many things happened since the beginning! The repetition didn’t make me skip it, the narration was dynamic & fun.

- The ‘power display’ & threat Yohan showed to Soohyun (by lashing out at Juk Chang and strangling him, as proxy for Soohyun, in front of her while staring at her) were something …! She answered in the same fashion, passing by him saying she will ‘arrest Juk Chang’. I wonder how their next encounters will unfold.

- Many people already pointed this out, but Soohyun’s decision to leave Elijah, a minor, alone in her car (with its doors open, daring to tell her to stay there when she has no other choice anyway) + stop the gang alone and unannounced off duty was irresponsible. Anyways, i wonder if she will interact again with Elijah because they were adorable, i would miss it!

- The conversation between Soohyun & Gaon at his apartment (ep. 10) was interesting on both parts: 

It sounded casual, but Soohyun wanted to see where he stood in the Kang family and make sure he wasn’t in Yohan’s plans (i hope she didn’t seriously mean the ‘weird’ comment about Elijah, it’d be sad since Elijah enjoyed her company!).

Gaon was anxious professor Min told her about their last conversation (i think she’ll talk to him in the next eps). He also indirectly defended the Kangs by associating himself with them (« I’m pretty sure i’m just as weird ») and voiced his concern about Yohan, speaking more to himself than following the conversation at hand. 

When Soohyun changed the subject with the ‘i’m jealous’ bit, maybe it was to brighten the mood with a light-hearted comment, hoping Gaon would follow. And by the look of her pause right after, it seemed she was also expecting GO’s ‘positive’ reaction to her jealousy, giving in to the kind of teasing/flirt they have in their friendship. But deep down, it was also to voice her true unease about Gaon’s involvement with Yohan she had since the beginning and ep. 8. 

It’s obvious to us she meant she was jealous of Yohan. And GO could’ve understood it this way too, since she confessed to him multiple times and her feelings must be known to him (i think he takes it as a ‘joke’ given how many times she confessed and each time when he was crying, so maybe he thought, very reasonably, it was to cheer him up? I also guess he’s too absorbed by his current worries about the Kangs and her potential suspicion, to notice her attempts). 

But instead of that, he’s not in the same line of thoughts at all and picks up on the « rich », musing on what makes one’s existence rich, thinking Soohyun was envying Yohan’s position and life and proving her he’s indeed in a whole different world, empathizing with Yohan. 

She then looked like her face fell, until her eyes lit up again when he was about to admit she was precious to him along with his family.

By the way, this scene picks up right where we were left off in ep. 8, when Gaon tends to his plants:

« - Are you back for good? - Not really. They need some looking after. - You should come back, not drop by. This is where you live. - Someone there needs some taking care of too. - Take care of your own self, please. - What about me? I’m living a shamelessly comfortable life. Soohyun. - Yes? - What are you thinking about? - Nothing. By the way, Gaon … » (i wonder what she was going to say!)

Lost in thoughts, Gaon’s mixed emotions when he said Yohan was not rich (« he’s not rich. If you get to know him, Kang Yohan is really poor. ») were very well depicted by Jinyoung’s acting: the soft voice and the ghost of a smile that convey understanding and endearment, leaning on his counter in a relaxed stance, but also at the same time the stare lost in the space, maybe to all the memories tied to the Kangs and Yohan, and the tension in his left lip corner by the end of his sentence which betray his sadness and empathy with Yohan’s life. After this, when he became aware of Soohyun’s gaze, it’s like his bubble popped. He looked surprised with his eyes widening, and was fidgeting a little, then changed the subject to himself.

And « I have you, Soohyun » sounded truly grateful but also sad and conflicted, GO lets his worries show when she’s gone, maybe wondering if they would be bound to be against each other one day as he continues to side with Yohan, menacing to jeopardize their friendship to the point of no return. In these kinds of stories you expect these kinds of twists, but i grew fond of the cast send help

- I loved how Yohan’s confession to GO about his brother was filmed: the camera faced head-on his pain, slipping unbeknownst to him through the façade he always showed to protect himself. But this time, despite his (late) attempts to dismiss these feelings both for him and Gaon to regain composure (the hand gestures to hide his tears, pretending to be tough with the  « there’s no such things as innocent people », drinking away his sorrow with a bitter laugh that rings hollow), all this façade fades out in front of Gaon literally by being blurred out in the shot, as if he clearly sees his pain through (his silhouette appearing clear-cut between Yohan’s gestures). I know it’s a pretty classic shot but it fit well with this scene. He clenches his jaw in the next shot, moved by Yohan opening up. 

- The dinner scene was really moving …! Especially when you put the colder tones the kitchen had when we first saw Yohan have dinner by himself next to this scene, full of light in contrast! I wonder when the OST playing will be released, it was so beautiful and reminded me of My Mister’s OST (especially Rainbow!). I look forward to the lyrics, because most of the time the OST gives more layers & depth to the story and the characters! (please don’t let it be about Yohan’s budding feeling of a true ‘home’ ;;) I didn’t realize it upon my first watch, but Gaon really took the cutlery hostage, it cracked me up!

- The parallels in this show will be the end of me: Yohan went from the « i’m so sick of this place » (ep. 5) to asking K to drive him « home » with a delighted smile. 

- I liked the parallel of Yohan’s reaction to GO/Sun-Ah sitting in his office chair, impeding on his space (he reminds SA to stay out of it, the first time politely, the second time almost grimacing, his jaw clenched: « Just because you’re the head of the OSC doesn’t mean you can barge in like this (…) So please stop barging in like this. », while he says nothing to GO)

- At the beginning of ep. 10, we have Yohan saying he doesn’t like «  hanging out with people » & by the end of it, Soohyun saying « My childhood’s best friend is hanging out with a rich guy ».

- These two episodes gave more insight and nuance into Sun-Ah’s character, which was very nice ; and also Cha Kyung-Hee’s comeback (and her last confrontation with Sun-Ah!!!!)

- The people following Juk Chang also targeted sexual minorities according to the subs i had, i wonder if it will be addressed again sometime in the drama. 

- I loved Elijah’s « hacking » technique scene, i felt proud too! I always look forward to her scenes (and Kkomi’s too haha)! And her reaching out Gaon’s shoulder for the first time ;;

- The ‘humans lose their minds when they think they’ve lost what they have’ ……… repeated twice by YH ………… It will hit hard and all those lines will come right back at us viewers, but i’m not prepared haha! And also for the ‘if you want revenge, don’t hesitate’, i hope it doesn’t foreshadow a future revenge Gaon will execute without hesitation aaaaaa

Also, what lawyer Ko said about himself in ep. 8 may apply to Yohan’s case by the end, will he atone for what he did someday? (« I’m no longer a lawyer. I’m just a criminal. When all this comes to an end, I’ll pay for what i did. »)

- I really loved Yohan’s efforts to take into consideration both Elijah’s (he refrained himself from acting rashly like the last time she went out and listened to her) and Gaon’s feelings (stopping him from endangering himself recklessly, not forcing him onto the revenge path lest he’d regret it afterwards, and helping him to face the truth rationally). 

- « She’s hungry for affection. No matter how much you hate the world and the people in it, you can never live alone. You always need someone to rely on. As long as you’re a human being. » Many people commented on it, Gaon must speak from his own experience and empathizes with both Elijah and Yohan’s situation. These two episodes showed how Gaon cares for the Kangs more openly, and i live for it! 

- Give me that domestic scene where Gaon plays cards with YH, the nanny and Elijah! And also more K and lawyer Ko scenes!

- Jinjoo’s and Gaon’s intervention in the trial were gold! And Satie’s Gnossiennes rearrangement playing in the background during Juk Chang’s speech, it’s the cherry on the cake haha

- By the way, there was also an arrangement of Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2 during the first charity event Yohan went with Jinjoo in the earlier episodes, it was also beautiful!

- GO’s Awkward Smile. I have no words, it is now forever imprinted on my mind.

Have a nice week and take care!

[beccascribbles]

where atsumu is a notorious playboy and now he wants you

a/n - you won't believe how long i've been working on this and it's finally finished... anyway, just wanted to say a quick thank you for 700 followers! it means a lot! hope you enjoy this little atsumu fic

warnings - nsfw (sex, swearing), possibly a little angsty?, toxic relationship

word count - 4.1k

sequel ‘returning the favour’, where atsumu gets a taste of his own medicine

When your friends warned you away from him, you should have known he was bad news, should have known to avoid him, to shut down any conversation and walk away.

When a random girl approached you in the university library and warned you away from him, told you what he had done to her, how he ignored her feelings and hooked up with another girl in front of her, the alarm bells should have started to ring.

When the very thought of introducing him to your parents filled you with dread, you should have known any kind of relationship with him was impossible. Introducing a boyfriend to your parents was nerve-wracking, yes, but you had done it before and the most severe emotion you had felt then was nerves. It was nothing compared to the dread that curled in your belly at the mere thought of ever introducing him.

But Miya Atsumu pulled you in.

Despite all the warnings, you were blinded by his easy charm, the smirk that would pull at the corners of his lips as he teased you, how comfortable he looked in every situation, as if he knew the power he held over those around him. He attracted girls and boys like a moth to a flame. In fact, he burned so brightly it was inevitable that you would get hurt at some point, feel his scathing dismal like a punch to the chest.

Truthfully, you were not planning on falling for him, not even planning to interact with the new face in your lectures. He had attracted enough attention, and you, the ever focused and diligent student, could not afford the distraction. So, while others flocked to him, you initially kept a wide berth, hurrying from lectures with your books clutched to your chest to grab at seat at the library. It would be a lie to say he had not noticed you through the crowds. You were either the first to leave the lecture hall, or one of the only students to approach the professor after class to ask questions and gather some more information about the subject. He admired the dedication you had, your unwavering focus. At the same time, he wanted to be the reason that focus, that dedication, finally broke.

On the day he finally approached you, the weather had been unpleasant. Rain had attacked you the entire walk to class, the raincoat you had on a flimsy barrier. Coupled with the harsh wind that had been blowing, it was nearly impossible for the hood of your coat to cover your head, leaving you with the look of a drowned rat and a very disgruntled one at that. The rain had soaked through your backpack, leaving you with a dripping notebook. You had to be thankful that you had transferred all the sheets of paper you had written on into a binder that had kept the paper mercifully dry. So, as you had sought out a radiator to dry your things on, he had approached you, looking effortlessly handsome... and dry. 

“Want to borrow some paper, sweetheart?” he asked, waving his dry notebook at you, his lips upturned in a grin. His stance was casual, but the way he angled his body blocked the class from your view and also cut off your potential escape route. Though the vocative grated at you, your parents had taught you to be polite. Despite the annoyance in the lines of your body, you managed to smile back at him.

“Actually, yes,” you replied, turning back to the radiator to begin draping your wet items on the heated surface. “That would be great. Thank you.”

With your back to him, you missed the way his mouth twisted into a smirk, a playful glint appearing in his eyes. You heard the rip of paper being pulled from a notebook, then felt his warm fingers circle your wrist. You turned to face him, momentarily stunned by the lack of distance between you. His warmth, coupled with the radiator at your back, heated up your body, dispelling the cold bite the rain had left behind.

“And your payment?”he questioned running the tip of his finger along your inner wrist. The feel of his rough skin tracing the soft surface sent a tingle running through you, a traitorous flare of heat to your cheeks.

“Payment?” you scoffed, reaching for the proffered paper. He released it without a struggle, but remained close to you. It would have been so simple to trace the planes of your face, to feel the heat on your cheeks build because of his touch. Instead, he sent a lazy smirk in your direction. It should have irked you, but you found it oddly attractive, the little quirk to his lips, the intensity in has honey brown gaze. “For some paper?”

“Nothing is free these days,” he stated, reaching behind him to pull his phone from his back pocket. It dangled nonchalantly from his grip as he held it out to you. You glanced at the phone, then up at him, at his lazy expression. The way he looked at you showed he tended to get his way. There was no possibility in his mind where you returned to your seat without typing his number into your phone. “Give me your number and I’ll message you when I want to collect. I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as me.”

He pressed the phone into your hand. It was already unlocked and opened on a contact page. Instead of immediately typing your contact information into his phone like he assumed you would, you glanced down at the phone screen and then up at him. "Sorry, but my phone number comes at a cost as well."

He let out a low hum, leaning in closer, close enough that your noses almost touched. His eyes stared into yours, appearing to commit the colour to memory. "And what cost is that?"

“If you let me return to my seat, you might find out,” you stated, peeking over his shoulder to see that the professor was powering up the slide show. You pushed against his shoulder, creating enough space for you to walk past. As you stepped around him, you slipped his phone into his trouser pocket. He turned to watch you walk away, the smirk still present on his face.

The next time he approached you, he had orchestrated it with an obsessive perfection. With the knowledge that you always rushed to the library after class finished, he had instructed a member of the class, one of his fangirls, to deliberately bump into you as you tried to make your exit. It was amusing in a sick way how easily the girl had bent to his will. One kiss and she was weak at the knees, begging him for more. The more he had promised would be done once she completed this small task for him.

So, it was with an almost sadistic smirk on his face that he watched as the girl shouldered into you roughly, causing you to stumble and scatter your belongings across the floor. If you had only got into the habit of packing your stuff away into your backpack before leaving, you could have avoided the smirking blonde, able to quickly right yourself and continue on your way. As fate would have it, it was the muscular arms of the blonde that steadied you, his fingers gripping greedily at your waist. Offering him a quick thank you, you pulled yourself from his grip, bending down to gather the items you had dropped. Just as he had planned, you were distracted and desperate to leave, so distracted you did not notice as he took your notebook from the floor and slipped it into the open bag hanging from his shoulder. And, like he presumed, you hurried from the room without sparing him a glance. 

When he decided to ambush you, you were digging through your bag, mumbling quietly under your breath as you attempted to find your notebook. It had all your class notes in it that you needed to begin your essay. Letting out a huff, you shoved your bag away from you.

"Looking for this?" asked Atsumu, notebook dangling from his fingertips as he took in your distressed form. Leaning forward, you pulled it from his grip, flicking through the pages to confirm that this was indeed your notebook.

"Where did you find it?" you asked, placing it down on the table and resting your arms on top of it as you looked up at him.

"Is that any way to thank the person who returned your class notes?"

You gave him an exaggerated, friendly smile. "Thank you. Now where did you find it?"

"The floor," he stated, a smirk tugging at his lips with his next words. "After your fall, that's where all your belongings ended up."

"I know," you snapped before turning back to the work you had been in the process of beginning. Atsumu's tall figure still loomed over the desk, his hands gripping at the edge of the table as he leaned forward to force himself into your line of sight. Your eyes narrowed into a glare. "What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"I want to take you out." The words were simple, but said in such a pleasing honeyed tone that you felt the heat rush to your cheeks. He held your gaze, awaited your reply eagerly. He knew the effect he had on you, could see it working on you right before his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that you would say yes.

"Take me out where?" you questioned, voice coming out whisper. Your warm breath fanned against his face, made him crave a sudden closing of space between you and the parting of your lips as he pressed his against them. Truth be told, he wanted to see you come undone.

His usual method would not work on you, that much he was certain of. If he proposed a club or a bar, you would likely scoff, pull away from him, refuse his offer to take you out on a date. A restaurant however, one with a fine wine menu coupled with good food would work quite well.

"A restaurant," he said. You raised an eyebrow at his lacklustre response, expecting a more surprising proposal from the young man. "One where I can fine dine and wine the shit out of you."

“Okay,” you shrugged, feigning some level of disinterest as you pushed him lightly by the shoulder to move him out of your personal bubble. You bent to reach for a pen as you spoke. “Tell me a time and place, and I’ll meet you there.”

Atsumu blinked, unsure if he had heard you correctly. Had you just said you wanted to meet at the restaurant? That would be difficult considering he had yet to decide on one, having made a mental note to ask Osamu for recommendations later on. Trying to hide his sudden unease, he gave you a smooth grin. “Why don’t you let me pick you up, sweetheart?”

That caused you to pause, your breath to catch in your throat, your heart to stutter. The way he spoke, that soft drawl, the smooth dulcet tone of voice, made you weak at the knees. If he addressed you with the same tone each time he spoke, you would have been putty in his hands by now. You swallowed, avoiding eye contact as you tapped your pen on the table, the motion more to soothe you, though it aggravated the others in the library to no end. “Fine.”

You ripped a page from your notebook, hurriedly scribbling down your address. You held out the paper to him, finally meeting his eyes again. “When were you thinking?”

“Friday at 8?”

“Sure,” you nodded. “See you then.”

And, that Friday, you found yourself holding up various outfits to yourself in the mirror only to discard them a moment later. They were never perfect, either too sultry or too innocent, too girly or too geared towards comfort. It was so dire you had reached the point of wishing that you had ordered those dresses you had browsed after agreeing to meet with him. Next day delivery would have meant they would have arrived on time, and you would have felt confident in them. However, you had talked yourself out of it, convincing yourself you had dresses worthy of a dinner with Atsumu. With a sigh, you picked up a dress you had discarded earlier. It was the best out of a bad bunch, and unfortunately the only one you thought you could get away with. Distantly, you wondered why you were trying so hard. That was just you trying to convince yourself you didn’t care. It would be foolish to lie to yourself. You cared because you were attracted to him, to his easy charm, his good looks.

Glancing in the mirror one more time, you smoothed down the material of the dress. It complimented you well, was a trusted favourite. It hugged your body in all the right ways, emphasising your shape in a way that was pleasing to the eye. You allowed yourself a small smile. You felt confident. It was a bonus that you figured Atsumu would enjoy the view.

Hearing the knock on your door, you grabbed your bag from the desk, checking it had everything you needed. Phone, keys and purse were all present inside. Then you went over to open the door. Framed by the dark word, dressed in a dark shirt and black jeans, Atsumu looked hot. His hair had been perfectly styled, a far cry from the messier style he favoured at university. His eyes ran up and down your body, lazily, as if he was stripping you with his eyes. He drawled, “Well, don’t you clean up nice. Makes me want to stay in instead of taking you out."

You gave him a playful glare, pushing against his chest lightly. He stepped backwards, you following him into the hallway. Turning away from him, you faced the door, locking it. Over your shoulder, you quipped, "If you think this date is ending in sex, you are very much mistaken."

Little did you know how wrong your statement was. You could blame it on the buzz of alcohol in your system from the wine but, to be honest, you were weak to Atsumu's charm. The way he purred your name had you weak. The feel of his fingers grazing your bare skin made you shiver. The feel of his lips moving languidly against your own sent jolts of pleasure through you.

"I'm going to ruin you," he breathed, breath hot against your ear as he nipped gently at the lobe, fingers teasing at the hem of your dress, slipping under the material. Those words, along with his actions, were your undoing.

Your hands tangled into his hair, gently tugging as you reconnected your lips, the kiss far more passionate, a bit more messy. It was easy for him to push you onto the bed, for you to instinctively hook your legs around his waist, holding him close to you. A low moan escaped your lips as he rolled his hips into you, feeling the hardness of his cock through the layers. Your dress was hiked up past your hips, the lace of your panties on full display. He pulled away to admire you, unhooking your legs from around his waist, spreading them open for him to admire the view. He let out an appreciative whistle. "Look at you. So desperate for me, sweetheart. Do you want me to fuck you? Do you want to feel my cock filling you up?"

You let out a soft moan. Your cheeks were flushed, breathing slightly laboured as you looked up at him. You were desperate for him. He could see all this, watched with smug satisfaction as your hand slipped into your wet panties and you began to play with yourself. "Why don't you take those off for me?"

Too lost in your need, you began to slip the fabric down your legs, slowly, teasingly. Atsumu watched with a playful glint in his eyes, hand moving to palm at his cock through his trousers. Not needing him to direct you, with the lace no longer blocking his view, you resumed your previous action, fingers circling your clit. As he watched, you pushed a finger into your wet entrance, watching as his eyes darkened. While you continued to pleasure yourself, he slipped his trousers off, then began to teasingly lower his boxes, watching your reaction. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of his hardened cock, slit wet with pre-cum. With you watching, he wrapped his fists around it, beginning to stroke it. His head tilted back and a low groan escaped his throat. You moaned in response, inserting another finger inside, stretching yourself out for him.

"Fuck, y/n," he moaned. "Are you ready? Do you want my cock inside of you? Do you want to feel me thrusting into you? Because I want to feel you clench around me, for you to cum as I fuck you."

"Yes," you breathed, thumb rubbing harshly against your clit as you continued to push your fingers inside you harder, faster. "Please fuck me."

"Get on your hands and knees then, sweetheart," he commanded, watching as you removed your fingers from inside of you. And what a sight you were, back curved to provide him with the best view. He ran his hands appreciatively along the slope of your ass cheeks, giving them a playful slap. He leant over you, fingers finding the zip of your dress, his cock brushing against you. Now wasn't the time to tease you. He yanked the zipper down, the dress falling off your body, leaving you naked apart from your bra.

"Please just fuck me," you begged, pushing back against him as his fingers brushed the tops of your erect nipples hidden by your bra.

"So impatient," he said, voice low, a gruff edge to it that made you suck in a breath. The tip of his cock brushed against your clit, hands gripping your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh. Teasingly, he waited, his cock head resting against your wet entrance. Each time you pushed back, he would pull slightly away, leaving you a whining mess. Just as you were about to beg, he pushed into you, his cock brushing against your inner walls as he slowly entered you. With a low groan, he sheathed himself fully inside you, his pelvis pressed against you.

Slowly at first, he began to rock into you, pulling out slightly before thrusting back in, working your pussy, getting you used to taking his cock. Each slow thrust caused you to moan, fingers clutching at the duvet.

"More," you whined, hips pushing back into him. He stilled, holding you close to him. You moved along his cock, grinding back against him as his hands tightened on you, stilling your movements.

"What was that?" he questioned, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of your neck. "You want me to fuck you into the mattress, is that it?"

"Yes," you declared, voice breathy as you let yourself droop forward, head resting against the soft material of the duvet. He pulled fully out of you, hand curling in the hair at the nape of your neck and pulling you upwards. Your back was flush against his chest, his other arm wrapped around you, fingers teasing at your clit as he thrust upwards into you again.

The sudden harsh thrust caused you to choke, head lolling against his shoulder. You were weak to him as he continued to thrust into you, losing yourself in the feeling of pleasure. The stimulation of your clit, coupled with the harsh thrusting, had you chasing your orgasm far sooner than you had expected, the pleasure slowly building up, a dam waiting to explode.

"Shit," you gasped as he pushed you forward onto the mattress, the position allowing him to push into you with more ease, the slap of his hips against your ass and your laboured breathing the only sound in the room. "Atsumu... I-I think I'm going to cum."

"Don't hold back," he grunted, feeling himself drawing closer. "Cum for me, sweetheart. Want to feel your walls fluttering around my cock."

"A-Atsumu."

His name was the only word able to escape your lips as a wave of pleasure hit you, finally sending you over the edge. He let out a pleased hum at the feel of your walls clenching around him, continuing to thrust into you as he chased his own release. He came with a low groan, releasing his hot seed into you, coating your walls. Slowly, he rocked gently into you before pulling out his slowly softening cock. You let out a low whine at the sudden feeling of emptiness, turning to face him with a small pout. He let out a soft chuckle, grabbing you by the chin and pulling you in for a long kiss, tongue tracing the inside of your mouth. Against your lips, he said, "I'm always up for round two."

You should have know one night wouldn't be enough to satiate your hunger for each other. Despite only having a sexual relationship, the two of you formed a friendship, if constant sexual teasing could be considered friendship. In the library, in class. Atsumu was insistent, his hands rarely kept to himself when he could so easily slip them into your warm panties. Occasionally, you would return the favour, palming him through his jeans. On a day when you had been feeling particularly adventurous, you had sucked him off in the library, relishing in the soft moans he would release, the way his hips would buck upwards as he attempted to push you down onto his cock further.

One day, he had turned to you, a completely innocent look on his face and stated, "You're the only girl I ever fuck now."

You had looked at him blankly as he had pulled you towards him, placing you on his lap, urging you to straddle him. His hands rested against the bare skin of your sides. "And?"

"I'd say we're pretty much exclusive."

Those words gave you some indication of where his train of thought was heading. Though you couldn't deny wanting to be in a relationship with him, you could hardly define what you did now as dating. You felt he was just using you and that had been the truth for as long as he had begun pursuing you.

"We're not even dating, Atsumu," you sighed. Just last week, he had gone on a date with another girl only to arrive at your dorm at the end of the night to fuck you instead of her.

"Why don't we change that?" he hummed, placing kisses along your jaw before connecting your lips in a searing kiss. His thumbs brushed against your rib cage as he kissed you harder. He was close enough to feel the way your heart picked up the pace, hammering against your chest. You pulled away slightly to look at him, to see the sincerity in his brown eyes.

"Okay," you agreed. "Let's change that."

Years later, you would look back on certain moments in your relationship with nothing but anger, mainly at yourself. The signs were clear from the moment you became official. Atsumu was a person who refused to be tied down. As soon as your relationship was defined, he lost interest, pulling away from you, treating you as nothing more than a means for pleasure. But, through it all, you still felt love for him, needing to be the thing that brought him that pleasure. That illusion shattered the moment you saw him with another girl, her legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed her with the passion he used to kiss you.

Though the illusion shattered, the desire for him did not. You would still open your door for him, still let him use you as you told yourself you were using him. You accepted the empty 'I love you' he would whisper as you fell asleep only to wake up to an empty bed.

You were a fool. But he must have known that. After all, only a fool could ever love him like you did.

[tossawary]

Chapter 26 “ What You Want” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

Oh, this got so long, though. I was like, “An opportunity to wax poetic about Moshang dynamics and characterization? An opportunity to talk about why my interpretations of Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua are Like That? SIGN ME UP.” 

-

【Beginning next mission stage.】

【Death of the Author - Part 2: The Secret Basement of Shang Qinghua.】  

【Mission objective: place the Weeper’s Eye on the pedestal.】

Shang Qinghua slowly sits up on his sofa. He stares at the pop-up window for however long it takes his brain to roll over completely.

“I don’t have a fucking basement?” he says finally.

- 

AN: I have been waiting to use “I don’t have a fucking basement?” for months. Also, it’s been years for him, so Shang Qinghua is a little oblivious, BUT I would like to point readers all the way back to some paragraphs from Chapter 2. 

Excerpt from Chapter 2: “A Horseshoe Nail”:  

Shang Qinghua considers the point loss. What are his excuses character motivations here? Why is his unmerciful System not completely skewering him for this?

He is the servant of a demon lord, Mobei-Jun, the future Northern King, so he has a greater investment than most cultivators in the future of the Demon Realm, so it’s not unreasonable for him to seek out any bastards of Tianlang-Jun without handing the demon baby over to a righteous sect. He’s also a Peak Lord of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, so it’s not unreasonable for him to be interested in any rumors of the whereabouts of Su Xiyan or what happened to her, for political leverage or whatever. The character of Shang Qinghua originally was and still is a spy - on top of being a shameless coward willing to cling to anyone’s thighs and then stab them in the back, in order to stay alive or advance himself.

There are plenty of magical artifacts in this world that might give a power-grubbing weakling like Shang Qinghua an insight into the future. As Peak Lord of An Ding, Shang Qinghua is, in fact, in a pretty good place to get his greedy hands on one of these magical artifacts. Isn’t that what a good spy and overall ambitious snake would do?

 Especially a spy serving a demon lord extremely likely to get fed up with him and kill him at some point? While also serving a righteous cultivation sect extremely likely to execute him for eventually betraying them? Of course Shang Qinghua would obviously want to know how to save his own ass from these ticking time-bombs! And how better to save his own ass than shamelessly clinging to the golden thighs of the protagonist, who will one day conquer every other demon lord and all righteous sects?

Following Luo Binghe means being on the endgame winning team!

Shang Qinghua looks over the pop-up window’s numbers over again, in regards to the loss of points. True, how exactly he tracked down Su Xiyan’s half-demon baby when the Huan Hua Palace Master failed is a bit of a plot-hole, but the rest can be easily explained away with a bit of creativity!

Oh, the rest of the cultivation world didn’t know Su Xiyan was pregnant? Well, Shang Qinghua is a slimy, sneaky spy, who would of course guess that a female cultivator might suddenly disappear like that for months-on-end due to a secret pregnancy! And given that Su Xiyan’s reputation had been linked to a passionately self-destructive Tianlang-Jun… Okay, he can feel the anti-fan rage at that mildly sexist line of thinking, but it stands! It stands!

Now, Shang Qinghua just has to… actually decide… whether or not he wants to take the point loss, in order to save the life of his protagonist son’s adoptive mother, Luo Jiahui. 

Shang Qinghua, my darling fool of an Author God, your System is listening to the things you say and think. 

I have been WORKING here to foreshadow where I’m going with this story. I’m pretty sure that every single endgame plot point has shown up and is now in play in PINTWILF. Shang Qinghua, due to situational awareness, is dealing with too much in-world shit to narrow things down easily, but it’s all there! It will hopefully not seem as though I’m pulling things out of nowhere in the next and final part (Part 4) of this fic. 

-

“This makes me look crazy, bro,” Shang Qinghua  complains to the System. “It really does. I already have to be careful about talking to the secret, world-controlling system that lives in my head and this? This is not making me look any more stable! Where did this come from? Where the fuck did I even get it?! ”

Oh, things are coming together in Shang Qinghua’s head and he doesn’t know if he really likes the picture. On one hand, it’s always nice to actually have someone or something to blame for things beyond the fucking System. On the other hand, he really doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to sleep at night with a full-length, polished silver mirror with an ornate golden frame under his house. 

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua, have you noticed that you’ve stopped losing points for continuity errors and plot holes? Shang Qinghua, you know that the people in your life have noticed that you know too much. They’ve just decided not to question you about it because you always look like you’re going to faint when they do, then you laugh and change the subject. 

But now Shen Qingqiu is on to you and he’s not so easy to shake. 

(Plus Shen Yuan! They’re terriers, SQH!) 

- 

He turns away from the mirror, only for a second System window to pop up in front of him. Only… the design of this one is different. Familiar, though! It takes Shang Qinghua a second to place it as Peerless Cucumber- as Shen Yuan’s Transmigration System.

 【 Users cannot be injured, killed, or trapped inside the looking-glass! The user will not be able to touch or be touched by anything inside the looking-glass! The user will be returned from the looking-glass within thirty minutes, unharmed! A substantial point reward is attached to this bonus mission. 】

“Right,” Shang Qinghua says.

This second pop-up window then shifts colors and is ruthlessly closed before his eyes. Ah, wow, Shang Qinghua kind of feels like he just saw someone get murdered here.

“...How many points?” he asks finally, reluctantly curious.

- 

AN: Having the Systems fight is so much fun. My setup here in PINTWILF has it so that there’s a main Worldbuilding System that does its best to maintain the world, then each transmigrator has their own personal Transmigration System managing their case. 

This is so the Worldbuilding System can maintain the world without the presence of transmigrators, and so the personal Systems can potentially follow their transmigrators into another world. All the Systems interact with each other in order to try to manage things and there are... issues.  

Look, the thing about simulated (or managed) realities for me is... someone coded the thing (or did some equivalent of coding the thing), and whether or not this thing in question is the world or just the System, if there are multiple entities trying to manage things, there’s going to be fuck-ups. You can’t have two cooks in the kitchen without points where the two cooks get in each other’s way at least a little bit. If there are multiple Systems, then you’re going to have friction, and that friction can be funny. 

Inspired by me trying to run two heavy art programs on my computer at once and being like, “Oh, boy, please don’t burst into flames while duking it out in there. Oh, man, you two were NOT made to operate together, huh?” 

- 

He knows he’s right when he walks away from some kind of important-looking procession, stepping into the next room at the same time as someone else, who looks directly at him and doesn’t look away. Shang Qinghua freezes in the doorway and doesn’t let himself stare so much as he can’t stop himself.

 “Oh, no,” Shang Qinghua thinks.

There’s a man standing in front of him, tall and broad-shouldered, with an ageless youth, but a sharp gaze and no youthful roundness to his features. His curly black hair has been cursorily held back from his face by a golden ornament, but is otherwise loose, and he wears his ornate red and black robes well and correctly, but like a man with a hundred more.

The man flicks a strong hand at the doors behind Shang Qinghua, which slam shut with a bang, like he’s done this a thousand times before.

He smiles unkindly. “Shang-Shishu,” he says, like he’s tasting the title, considering tearing it apart with his teeth. “So it's true. How curious.”

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen this face before, but he’s never seen it like this. The man looks like an emperor. He looks like a god. The red mark of the Heavenly Demons burns like a crown in the middle of his forehead.

Shang Qinghua takes an unwilling step back.

“What are you afraid of?” the original Luo Binghe says, still smiling. “We’re only talking.”

- 

AN: I tried to make this meeting mirror Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe’s first scene in Part 3 of the fic, in which we finally meet the Luo Binghe (Shang Qinghua’s nephew) who is going to interact with the PIDW plot. 

Excerpt from Chapter 18: “The Inevitable Plot”: 

The restaurant is closed when Shang Qinghua lets himself in. The tables in the dining room are still packed up, lit by dim light through shuttered windows, and the only sign of another person are the chopping sounds coming from the brightness of the kitchen. Shang Qinghua stops in the doorway and lets himself stare.

There’s a young teenage boy standing at the counter, thirteen going on fourteen, still not yet near his adult height (taller than Shang Qinghua, a fact he's still not prepared to face), still carrying a youthful roundness to his features. Shang Qinghua has seen him like this a hundred times before: curly black hair tied back, a kerchief covering his head to keep it out of his eyes, a slightly yellowed matching apron neatly tied just the way his mother taught him, and intent on the work in front of him. His hands are quick, the knife sharp and sure, and the movements of food preparation work slide right into each other like he’s done this a thousand times before.

When did the boy get so big? It didn’t happen all at once; it snuck up on them, hiding dastardly in plain sight! Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew barely came up to his waist. Fuck, Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew couldn’t walk. What is this? Who allowed time to pass like this?

Luo Binghe scrapes the chopped vegetables off the board and into the basket beside him, before putting down the knife and turning around. He smiles.

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen that before.

“Uncle,” the protagonist says fondly. “You’re here.”

- 

“Let’s talk,” Luo Binghe calls out, cajoling now. “Stop running and speak to me and perhaps old hurts can be forgiven. All that condonation and betrayal is so far in the past now. This lord can be merciful, Shang Qinghua. Just speak: how many things have you been hiding...?”

- 

AN: This is PIDW Luo Binghe, by the way. 

Once I realized I was going to have a room full of fortune-telling devices, I was like... “Ooh! Bing-Ge scene! I should have a Bing-Ge scene!” Because, like, that’s the curse of SVSSS transmigrator protagonists who trip into caring about Luo Binghe, baby! 

- 

Shang Qinghua takes some deep breaths to calm his poor, weak heart, and nearly falls to the floor anyway! But he catches himself!

And then a large, cold hand wraps around his arm to steady him. It’s the cold that keeps him from lashing out and probably breaking his own hand. Instead, he looks up, heart still pounding in his ears, into the frowning face of Mobei-Jun.

“Oh, you have the worst timing,” Shang Qinghua breathes.

Mobei-Jun’s expression twitches and he lets go.

“No!” Shang Qinghua chases the hand with his own, catching it before the man can get too far. “My king, I’m so glad to see you! Thank you for finally coming! I have so much to say,” he says quickly. “I-”

Before he realizes that he’s essentially holding Mobei-Jun’s hand for no reason now - ah, now that’s something he never would have dared to do like twenty years ago - and carefully drops it. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm the panic still racing through his veins. And then promptly realizes that Mobei-Jun is here. The demon lord is here in this secret basement.

- 

AN: Moshang in this fic is... hmmm... a little weird sometimes, because a lot of it has been happening in the background. A lot of it has been unspoken until Shang Qinghua’s breakdown and until now. 

Shang Qinghua isn’t actually as scared of Mobei-Jun in this fic as he is in SVSSS, and I hope that comes across. When he had his breakdown, part of it was fear, but a large part of it was also actually anger. Shang Qinghua was afraid of how the System had changed his life, but he was also angry about this loss of control. Yes, he was terrified of Mobei-Jun because he didn’t know if it was still his Mobei-Jun, which brought lots of old memories and old anger to the surface, in which Shang Qinghua was kind of like, “How dare you think you get to freely touch me after the things you did and never apologized for?” 

BUT the status quo in this world, before the World Update, is one in which Mobei-Jun touches Shang Qinghua’s hip without SQH flinching. It’s one in which SQH and MBJ drink and relax together. It’s one in which SQH isn’t afraid to reach out and grab MBJ’s hand, because he misses MBJ. 

They’re so close, they just need to actually talk it out. 

- 

Shang Qinghua glances at the ladder and the open hole in the floor. “Ah, my king, did you… climb down here looking for me?”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun answers, looking around with sharp eyes. He doesn’t seem to be very impressed with what he’s seeing. “...What is this place?”

“My, ah, my basement,” Shang Qinghua answers, leaving out the part where he didn’t even know he had one until about an hour ago. The System is determined to make him look like a bit of a madman, huh? “It’s just… just some artifacts and tools. I don’t… I don’t really come down here a lot…”

Mobei-Jun finishes studying the room, then stares at him again, his gaze more piercing than ever.

“The future concerns you this much?” he says.

Shang Qinghua is totally prepared to deny everything, but the phrasing of that cuts off every story he might try to tell. He glances around the room, full of these broken, desperate, stolen things. It’s… reflecting.

“...Yes,” he admits, hoarsely. Then coughs. “I… my king, we should… talk.”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun agrees.

“But, ah, not here? I don’t… like it here.”

“Yes.”

-

AN: Mobei-Jun is one of the people who has noticed that Shang Qinghua knows more than he should. And now, thanks to this secret basement, Mobei-Jun has an explanation for why Shang Qinghua knows more than he should! 

If you don’t know about the System element, then this basement is actually pretty in-character for the new Shang Qinghua of PINTWILF. 

He is so scared of the future. He’s invested in the story now. 

- 

Shang Qinghua isn’t surprised at all when the special item speaks again as soon as it’s back in his hand.

Why would it shut up now, after all?

 “He has no name but the position he has been promised to, which he may not live to see,” the Weeper’s Eye says, which pulls Shang Qinghua’s gaze back to the demon lord waiting for him. “His father uses him as a tool. His mother is long departed. His uncle wants him dead. He has long known that these broken promises cannot be undone… but he knows new promises may yet be made.”

Mobei-Jun is frowning at the crystal eye in Shang Qinghua’s hand, looking between it and Shang Qinghua’s own eyes.

He’s not dressed-up the same way he was the last time Shang Qinghua saw him - no especially fancy robes or ornaments or jewelry. He looks like himself this time.  

 “If these ones are not kept, there will be nothing for the nameless man who will be king.”

Shang Qinghua doesn’t move.

- 

AN: I mentioned exploring Mobei-Jun not having a name in the commentary on the previous chapter. I guess that’s my take on PIDW Mobei-Jun... that the man doesn’t really have anything outside of his position. He’s a king, in service to a tyrant, and he’s never going to let anyone in. He’s just... cold... the whole way through. PIDW Mobei-Jun has an icy throne and nothing else. 

PINTWILF (and SVSSS) Mobei-Jun has the Airplane version of Shang Qinghua. When Airplane saved MBJ’s life, the System wasn’t making him do it, he made that choice for himself. The System was willing to let MBJ die (and, in my headcanon, be replaced by some ice demon cousin or LGJ). So, MBJ turns around and chooses Shang Qinghua for himself. 

Shang Qinghua was like, “No! This character can’t be replaced! You can’t just dress someone else up as Mobei-Jun! You can’t just let the character die! It has to be this man in that role! No one else!” 

When Mobei-Jun is coming to talk to Shang Qinghua in this fic, in this moment, he is making this choice for himself, the nameless man who has been promised a position he might not live to see. That’s what the Weeper’s Eye is getting at. If Shang Qinghua doesn’t want to hear the promises Mobei-Jun is will to make him, there might as well not be anything in Mobei-Jun’s future to make him an individual, more than a cold figure acting out a part. 

- 

“...Shang Qinghua,” Mobei-Jun says finally. “I will not hurt you.”

Shang Qinghua’s gaze snaps from the crystal eye in his hand, back to the demon lord standing by the exit to this secret basement.

“We will speak,” Mobei-Jun says solemnly, slowly, like someone repeating the lines of a script. “I wish to be understood by you. I have not known how. Yet I must try now… in my own words… and you must listen.”

Shang Qinghua swallows.

The anger - the frustration - breaking through at the end there sounds more like the man he knows. He’s pretty sure that’s meant to be a request, but it sounds like an order.

-

AN: After their last conversation, Mobei-Jun had a lot of soul-searching to do, and one of the conclusions he came to is that he can’t take anything for granted. He has to made explicitly clear, using words, which is apparently what matters with humans and with this human in particular, everything he feels. He can’t take the risk of continuing to hurt Shang Qinghua by letting the man think that he doesn’t regret hurting him or may hurt him again someday. 

-

He puts the Weeper’s Eye down.

He’s really sick of this thing. He doesn't want to carry it around all the time.

It only tells him things he knows, anyway.

- 

AN: We’ll get into the Weeper’s Eye in future chapters, but it’s... it’s not really a mind-reading device. It kind of is. It is a little bit. But part of the reason it’s so informative here is that Shang Qinghua is holding it and Shang Qinghua actually knows a lot about his characters and the people in his life. 

Even the original characters, like Fanli, he knows well. She’s his family. He’s privy to Fanli’s problems through Jiahui and Liu Qingge if nothing else. 

With Shen Yuan, he doesn’t know the kid well yet, but his fellow transmigrator isn’t that difficult to read and he’s been where Shen Yuan is. 

Shang Qinghua putting the Weeper’s Eye down here is a show of trust of sorts. It’s a way of telling himself to get out of his own head, away from character roles and exaggerated panic, and put himself in the moment with someone he knows and... well... trusts and wants to trust even more. 

- 

Shang Qinghua follows Mobei-Jun out of the basement, removing the spiritual seal from the wall, which makes the creepy basement entrance disappear, then replacing the flower that covered it. He hesitantly follows the demon lord back to the main room of his Leisure House. He has no idea how to stand, suddenly, or where to stand.

Mobei-Jun looks very determined.

“So, ah, should we… sit?”

“No,” Mobei-Jun replies, then abruptly says, “Shang Qinghua, you do not have to fear me. I do not wish to cause you any pain. Now or in the future.”

Shang Qinghua stares, wide-eyed.

That’s not… something he ever expected to hear explicitly.

Good! It's good, though! Very good.

It's great, really.

“...Thank you,” he says, stunned. “I don’t want to cause you pain either?”

“You have shown as much. Many times.”

This is probably not the time for an “Yes, I did tell you so” in any form!

Instead, trying to remember all the speeches he prepared while waiting, Shang Qinghua says, “You have too! In your own way! I just… my king, last time you visited was a… it was a very bad day for me. I apologize for my behavior! I was speaking from a place of-”

“Fear,” Mobei-Jun interrupts darkly. “Well-deserved.”

“Ah, well…”

“You believed that I would hurt you, in your state,” Mobei-Jun says.

“I was… it was very a bad and confused state, my king.”

“...You do not trust me.”

Shang Qinghua’s voice dries up on him. He wouldn’t put it that way, exactly! That sounds pretty terrible when said in such a blunt way. They’ve moved past that, haven’t they? It’s more that he trusts different people with different things! He trusts Luo Jiahui to be Luo Jiahui, and Liu Qingge to be Liu Qingge, and Mobei-Jun… to be Mobei-Jun.

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun got really far without explicitly talking about things, but at some point that stopped cutting it. 

- 

“I have hurt you before,” Mobei-Jun says, looking at him directly. “From a place of fear… of anger… of… misunderstanding. I am… sorry for this. I will not do so again. I was wrong to treat you in such a way.”

Shang Qinghua takes in a deep breath… and out again.

Fuck, it feels like his eyes are burning.

“You have my respect,” Mobei-Jun says quietly, urgently, not letting up on getting all of these words out into the open. “You have my regard. You have my trust. Yet I have not shown this in a way that you have understood, so you could not share this. I have demanded your loyalty without being deserving of it.”

“My king,” Shang Qinghua protests, taking a step forward. “I was- I should have said-”

“You did. Many times. In many ways. I did not understand.”

“I wasn’t very clear either-”

“It was my responsibility to be clear. I must be clear now.”

“You’re being very clear now,” Shang Qinghua agrees quickly. If things get any clearer here, if any more of the things they’ve left unspoken get said, his heart won’t be able to take it. “Thank you, my king. It means- thank you."

Mobei-Jun nods. He looks relieved.

-

AN: I wanted to write a version of Moshang that felt... a little more mature? Shang Qinghua has developed a lot in this fic. He has grown as a person. And Mobei-Jun has seen this growth over the years. 

Mobei-Jun has also been able to see into this Shang Qinghua in a way that wasn’t available in SVSSS canon. I think that SVSSS Shang Qinghua was locked the fuck down. I think he was almost completely inaccessible and offered very, very few openings for connection. 

But in this universe, Mobei-Jun actually knows a lot more about Shang Qinghua. He knows what motivates Shang Qinghua. He knows that Shang Qinghua is a doting uncle and a doting older brother. He knows that Shang Qinghua has come to care for his sect. He knows that Shang Qinghua is intelligent and resourceful and funny. They drink together and talk politics! Mobei-Jun knows that Shang Qinghua is loyal and tired and trustworthy. 

So... there was an opening here that didn’t exist in SVSSS canon. 

And Mobei-Jun took it. 

- 

Shang Qinghua knows that cultural differences are a hell of a thing here, but everything being understandable in hindsight didn't make it not fucking hurt. It still hurts, even finally having the apology he never thought he'd get.

"...We’ve been pretty bad at understanding each other, huh?”

“It has often seemed as though we were not meant to meet,” the demon lord says softly.

Shang Qinghua, who can't imagine getting through his transmigration experience without meeting this man, thinks over all the unknowing irony in that statement.

"...Maybe."

“The differences are… significant.”

Shang Qinghua laughs, almost disbelieving. “That’s a word for it!”

"But not impassable."

"Ah… I… hope not."

- 

AN: I’ll probably make a separate post for this, but I love Moshang transmigrator reveals. Bingqiu transmigrator reveals are mostly about the Abyss, which is great, because that needs clearing up. MOSHANG transmigrator reveals are like, “My weak human husband is a god???” 

Also love it when MBJ is like, “Yes, this makes sense.” 

- 

“I have never known what you have wanted from me,” Mobei-Jun says next, like a confession. “Your life, you have said, time and time again. Though I am only alive by your grace. You demand none of what you deserve of me.”

“...I don’t think ‘deserve’ is a good word for this,” Shang Qinghua says, which probably isn’t the right thing to say, but he’s really too stunned to come up with anything better. He really didn’t prepare for the right conversation here. “Aha, sorry, my king. It’s just… I don’t think I like to think about it in terms of ‘owing’ anymore. Between us. At least… not like some sort of strict balance? I do something nice for you, you owe me. You do something bad to me, I get to hurt you. Not… not like that.”

Mobei-Jun thinks about it.

“Sorry, I don’t really know what I’m saying-”

“You are deserving of better than what I have given you,” Mobei-Jun insists, determinedly. “I do not understand you. I have never understood you.”

Shang Qinghua feels the same way.

“But I would like to,” Mobei-Jun says next. “I would if you would allow it.”

- 

AN: Mobei-Jun is only alive because Shang Qinghua saved him and he knows it! And Shang Qinghua has never made the demands he should have made, having that kind of leverage over Mobei-Jun! 

I’ve always wondered if this is deeply romantic by demon standards. Like, not inherently romantic. But I would bet that Mobei-Jun really likes the idea of a relationship where no one is keeping score... no one is granting favors to use like a leash of obligation... no one owes the other things they don’t want to give. I would bet that Mobei-Jun really, really likes the idea of a relationship where affection is freely given because the people in it want to give it. 

He does feel as though he owes Shang Qinghua, but I think Mobei-Jun likes the idea that his favor is his to give just because he wants to give it. 

-

Mobei-Jun lifts a hand, slowly, and holds it out.

Shang Qinghua thinks about it.

He thinks about it again.

He reaches back and puts his hand in Mobei-Jun’s own, which is as cool to the touch as always, and moves over his skin carefully. His hold is so light that Shang Qinghua could break it without any issue at all.

They stay there, like that, looking at each other.

Looking at their hands, holding without hurting, after everything. It's such a small gesture.

It feels kind of like a miracle.

-

AN: I am... a huge fucking sucker for Mobei-Jun holding Shang Qinghua waaaaay too lightly because he won’t risk hurting Shang Qinghua again. Like, this man is going to take it from the top. No more assumptions. 

- 

“What do you want, Shang Qinghua?” Mobei-Jun says, voice turning up at the end, in the closest thing that the man might ever come to helplessness. “What do you want from this?”

“I…” Shang Qinghua wipes at his burning eyes with his free hand. This is kind of pitiful. “Fuck.”

Mobei-Jun lifts his free hand and uses his own sleeve to wipe at Shang Qinghua’s tears, like his robes aren’t important to him at all. “Ask,” the man says, in the tone of a promise. “You do not have to fear the future. Anything I have to give is yours.”

Shang Qinghua gives up on trying to speak and just moves forward to bury his face in Mobei-Jun’s chest. Fuck it. The demon lord who was supposed to kill his character lets him do it. Mobei-Jun holds on to him, arms heavy but still so careful, the man’s chest moving in a sigh that sounds like relief.

This really was too many unspoken things to finally say aloud all at once.

- 

AN: So, yeah! That’s what I’m been building up to with the Jiahui/Qingge marriage and the Qijiu fights and makeup, getting Shang Qinghua to think about what he wants from his relationship with Mobei-Jun. Luo Jiahui and Shen Qingqiu have basically been throwing the question at him repeatedly: “What do you want from this life, Shang Qinghua?” 

Because it can’t all be plot! You’ve taken your family for yourself, but you can have more than that! You’ve made so many choices already... you can take this last step and make this choice too. Let Mobei-Jun in. 

A lot of Moshang plots end up being “Shang Qinghua’s inability to communicate versus Mobei-Jun’s inability to communicate”. Which is great! That’s Moshang! And some external issue (a rival demon lord, Linguang-Jun, etc.) will end up being the secondary plot which acts as a scenario pusher for the primary plot of the Moshang relationship. Again, great stuff! 

But since the romance isn’t the focus of this fic, I decided it would be fun to have a more “Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun versus the problem” take. (Which also shows up in lots of Moshang fics! Definitely not exclusive to this fic at all!) I’m looking forward to having Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun actually try and tackle problems together, as a couple, inside the main “Family of Choice” plot. 

Which isn’t to say that Moshang have totally worked out their relationship here. They have only just gotten together. Mobei-Jun still has issues. Shang Qinghua still has many issues. They’ve got a lot to work out together. They’ve never been in a relationship like this before and there’s a lot of people out there who would object to their relationship! Their relationship is going to continue to grow as the fic continues. They’re going to have a few bumps in the road. 

But I really like the idea of Mobei-Jun being Shang Qinghua’s rock in this fic. This man has been so stressed. He needs a hug from his ice demon boyfriend who can soothe headaches with a hand. 

-

When Shang Qinghua feels like he has himself more under control, he draws back just far enough to say, “My king, will you kiss me?”

Mobei-Jun’s expression is already soft, at least by his standards. His gaze turns hooded before he leans down as Shang Qinghua leans up. Shang Qinghua takes the man’s face between his hands to kiss him. It feels nice, if uncertain, with the hunger of something a long time coming at the end of it. There's years worth of wanting in this.

It has been so fucking long since Shang Qinghua kissed anyone.

He breaks the kiss and has to stifle laughter, clinging to the front of Mobei-Jun’s robes, which the man never closes properly, so now Shang Qinghua is never going to be able to not thinking about touching it. It’s a very nice chest to touch. He knew it would be.

Mobei-Jun’s brow furrows slightly, his hands staying on Shang Qinghua’s hips.

“What?”

Ah, sorry! Sorry, my king! It’s just- this is such a ridiculous detail to get stuck on, but your lips are kind of cold? I’ve, ah, I’ve always kind of wondered,” Shang Qinghua confesses quietly, without really meaning to actually say it. Holy shit, he’s going to blame saying something like this after that on the fact that he’s had a very long and very weird day. “Sorry. I'm really tired. It's fine. It's good.”

Mobei-Jun snorts and kisses him again, as if to say, “Deal with it.”

- 

AN: Cute! Mobei-Jun likes it when Shang Qinghua laughs. I stand by this.

[saphirered]

I love the way you write Lucien, and was wondering, if you aren't too busy (and don't mind a second request from the same person), could I request a part two wherein the reader and Lucien make it to the bedroom (no explicit details, or anything) when he and the Tomb Takes are invited into Widogast Tower?

Thank you! Lucien's such an interesting character to write. So much is revealed about his character by paying attention to the details. I tried to play into those things so I hope you like the way this turned out! 😘

Caleb goes through his usual ritual of summoning the tower. The Tombtakers wait watching him closely but one in particular keeps a very close eye on him; Lucien. He’s still very much uneasy around spellcasters of this caliber and with what the wizard had already displayed he knew better than to underestimate your little group. You’re a danger and have already proven you could be much more than a hurdle in his way. He’s looking forward to the challenge.

But there your stand bouncing on your feet stretching and curling your fingers to preserve any warmth now you’ve stopped moving, patiently awaiting the familiar door to appear. Lucien finds himself at your side just slightly behind you. You don’t have to look over your shoulder to know it’s him. He already radiates enough of a presence you’re constantly aware of where he places himself.

“If you’re still cold, love, how about we test those perks of the infernal bloodline?” The whisper is barely loud enough to hear so you’re confident the others hadn’t heard the words but the little too short distance between the two of you is compromising enough should anyone turn around and see.

“Depends. Are you offering?” You keep your eyes on the mid-spell wizard. There’s no change in your voice. Just neutrality and indifference to the offer made. You know better than give Lucien the pleasure of any kind of response your friends might catch onto just to get a rise out of them. He’s a selfish man and loves causing conflict but he won’t tear you away from your friends even if that means he’ll have to dispose of you and your Mighty Nein at the end of the road. His goals come before everything and everyone no matter how much he might prefer to keep you around. He knows better than to attempt to keep around someone who will grow to have a vendetta against him after his task is completed no matter what he offers you. He knows where your loyalties lie and there’s nothing he can do about that but hope maybe your interests in him change into an emotional attachment enough to take you off the playing field all together. Slim chances but never impossible.

“Funny.” Lucien offers a brief chuckle as the iridescent doorway appears. Caleb turns around allowing everyone to enter. His eyes fall on you just as Lucien leans in a little closer to your ear.

“Perhaps I am.” He pulls away and steps past you usual smirk on his face as he approaches the wizard. While Caleb keeps his opinions to himself you’re aware despite your explanation of the actions Fjord witnessed you have more explaining to do.

A brief tour later and sleeping arrangements for the Tombtakers set up, you’re pulled aside by Fjord at the dinner table. You knew this moment was coming and under the cover of Jester and Veth keeping the Tombtakers busy and Beau annoying Lucien to death you have a chance at a private conversation among company. You’re aware that the moment you set out for a side bar Lucien will notice and spy on your conversation. He’s not stupid enough to know such action is rooted in potential conflict be that between you and your friends or your group and his and he’s not about to be blindsided.

Fjord offers the seat next to him between himself and Caleb who’s already dug into his dinner. Thank the gods Fjord does because at least that lowers any suspicion. With a smile you accept and sit down between the half orc and wizard, filling a plate of your own. You notice Lucien glance over to you before Beau compels him to return his attention to her. Okay now it’s clear the others are in on this game. Good to know the Mighty Nein hasn’t lost their touch. You’re all going to need it and you feel as if it’s going to be sooner rather than later.

You begin with small talk but thread off into a conversation steered by hints, dancing with words to get across what you’ve been able to gleam from Lucien in your most recent interactions. You’re fully aware Lucien is using your interactions for the same purposes so you feel it’s only fair. He can’t deny the fact that’s exactly what he’s been doing regardless of the fact that you both enjoy your interactions and engaging exactly in what your mutual attraction persuades you to do.

Fjord chokes on the waffle he was eating when you let it slip what Lucien had offered you while Caleb summoned the tower earlier. Things clear up for Caleb and he’s clever enough to know your pleasantries with Fjord are more than just that. He gets what you’re really talking about. It’s good to know he doesn’t have to mistrust your loyalties entirely but he worries still. He knows what people like Lucien are capable of and he knows what it takes to be a spy, but the question is; do you really have the guts to do what’s necessary at the end of the day? He hopes still and he’ll trust the advantages and insights you’ve been providing over the lack of clarity and selective honesty Lucien himself has provided.

“I’m sorry. He said what?” Fjord coughs as you pat his back and offer him his cup, playing it off your friend simply took a wrong bite like the tentative soul you are.

“Do you really need me to repeat that?” You glare at the half orc. He does not need you to repeat those words. You know how flustered Fjord gets at the mentions of intimacy and you can’t really afford going into details right now or he might expose your little sidebar.

“Are you going to accept?” Caleb asks. He doesn’t make eye contact and stays focussed on his food keeping up the illusion he’s not part of this and has been distancing himself ever since he caught onto Lucien’s advances earlier.

“Do you need the distraction?” You’d already made up your mind and you’re going to take it but that doesn’t mean no one else can benefit from the distracted Nonagon. Caleb knows how to play this game so you’ll take his opinions over those of the others.

“If you think you can handle it.” Caleb knows some people would be fine with sleeping with someone for the benefits it achieves but in the majority of those cases the feelings are one-sided or nonexistent. He knows well enough your previous flirtations indicate feelings are very much involved on both sides and that might just not bode well for anyone if you slip up. If Lucien slips up, there’s plenty of advantages of be gained.

“I guess I know what I’ll be doing after dinner. Don’t waste this opportunity.” You say intensely putting a look of anger and annoyance on your face as you get up from your seat pushing Caleb’s shoulder as you do so. Caleb sends you a similar expression, grasps your arm but you pull it free and leave. Game on. You planted the seeds of doubt, clear for the Tombtakers to see. Best to pretend there’s some infighting and solidify your own position.

“Beau, could you do me a favour and convince Caleb my life’s choices are none of his business. You seem to have much better luck getting anything through that thick skull of his.” You smile exasperated and Beau gives you a confused look as you move your eyes in the direction of the wizard. Beau takes the hint and with one last witty remark she leaves you with Lucien.

“Everything alright, love?” Lucien leans back in his chair studying your every move corner of his lips turned up as he watches the latest bane of his existence settle with the wizard. Oh, how he’ll love to just squeeze the life out of that one. She’s too much to bear in his opinion and he doesn’t know how you put up with the monk.

“Don’t start.” You warn. Lucien lifts his hands in surrender not pushing the subject further. Any elaboration in your end would be directly deceptive right now and you do not feel confident enough in your skill to pull that off.

“You look like you could use a break, or a distraction. Why don’t you show me around?” Not needing to be told twice you take Lucien’s hand. You will yourself to float up and the tiefling follows after speaking the word. While he’s paying attention to your destination you quickly look down over your shoulder. Caleb offers you a single curt nod. You don’t return it but he knows message received as they finish up dinner.

“So where to first?” Lucien asks once the iris beneath you closes cutting off visual on the others beneath.

“Well, since you’ve already seen the floors below and where you and your companions will be staying I would offer to show you the laboratory and study, though, I doubt you’d be interested.” You don’t look at him as you glance up hoping Caleb would have changed your room enough to a nondescript one because with Lucien you don’t know what tiny detail might give him leverage you wouldn’t want him to have.

“And here I thought you’d offered to open up your bed to me.” Lucien jokes. You step up close and put your finger right under his chin.

“I offered to fuck you. I didn’t offer to share my sleeping arrangements for anything other than that. That you’ll have to earn, love.” You take a step back dropping your finger and begin floating up once more.

“Is that the game we’re playing? If so, challenge accepted.” Lucien gives you one of his devilish grins and floats after you until the two of you reach the right floor. You don’t make a grand ceremony about showing him around but instead enter your chambers. You’re very glad to see a very nondescript furnishing, a stained glass display that only shows you and the Nein and your connection to Mollymauk in more detail. Nothing Lucien could read anything off himself outside of things he already knew.

“Oh, I thought you said you were done playing games?” You tilt your head innocently as he enters the room, the door closing behind him. You lean against the back of the couch behind you crossing your arms waiting, watching every move just as he is. You because you’re trying to read whatever you can from him. He because he has half the mind to expect this to be some sort of trap but that won’t prevent him from engaging in whatever happens next.

“New game. New challenges. New rules.” He steps close. Some might expect Lucien to act in a predator and prey-like manner but no. You got clear insights he’s much more akin to an insatiable curiosity and playfulness, never satisfied, not even if he’d own the world. It will never be enough. It shows you the risks of the game more so than before. One wrong move and you’re gonna get burned. Then again, you know the feeling. The only difference here is you know satisfaction well enough you won’t let it be your own undoing nor will you ever let pride get in your way and Lucien’s ego and overconfidence certainly is his.

Fingers curl up the side of your neck until they find the back of your neck. Unaffected you keep your eyes locked on the bright red ones right in front of you. You feel another arm wrap around your waist, sliding down around your back and over to your behind. In a swift motion you’re lifted until you’re sitting on the back of the couch. Lucien steps in between your legs. Still you remain unfazed.

“Is that all you got? I expected more from you.” You tease. You know how to push these buttons. Moving your hair out of the way he softly begins trailing kisses up and down your neck, leaving little bites here and there. There’s a gentleness you didn’t expect him to be capable of.

“Challenge accepted.” Lucien’s lips find yours and you’re pulled into a deep kiss feeling wandering hands caress your body as they go. That’s more like it.

————

“Perhaps we should do this more often.” Lucien lays sprawled out on your bed one arm behind his head staring at you as you put on a shirt, making no effort to remove himself from your bedroom just yet. What can he say, the place and company are much preferred to that of any other travel company currently available.

“Told you getting it out of your system wouldn’t fix a damn thing.” An hand grasps your shoulder and pulls you back onto the bed. Lack of surprise and neutrality has been a good tool in persuading Lucien to respond to anything so you’ll keep it going.

“It provided clarity. But just because I like to see that smile of yours, I won’t deny I could get used to this.” Your legs on either side of him, Lucien plays with your fingers. It does make you smile and he seems very satisfied with himself. Letting go of one hand he brushes his fingers up your hip and underneath the shirt you just put on.

“Careful. Is that affection I hear speaking? What will your Eyes of Nine think?” You gasp grazing your nails over the one on his chest.

“For now? They can go fuck themselves. Let them wait a little longer.” Satisfied with the answer you lean in and kiss Lucien. You just hope the Nein’s using this time wisely.

“Let your overlords wait while you fuck me? How appropriate.” You joke between kisses.

“Good thing they need me more than I need them.”

“And yet you run after their every whim. I don’t know if that makes you the dog or them since you seem to be the hand that feeds them.” There comes the ego again. The nefarious smirk is enough to tell you you’re right. He’s playing much bigger of a game he’s letting on, to anyone and he’s holding all the cards in his hands. The realisation hits that Lucien is not the pawn in the game the Eyes of Nine are playing, no he’s the one playing them. The others need more time and you need to buy it for them now more than ever. Though, that doesn’t mean you’re not enjoying any of it. You’d have done so regardless. Perhaps it just makes you feel more justified in sleeping with the literal enemy you see Lucien become in the future.

“Those sound like fighting words, love. You might want to watch your tongue.” You lean in close but just far away enough to prevent your lips from touching.

“What are you going to do about it?” With that you’re flipped over onto your back. Satisfied with your action and Lucien’s response you close the distance wrapping your legs around him. Time for round two.

[jwxei]

˗ˏˋ achilles' heel - chapter two ˎˊ˗

// eyes red, vast and volcanic //

You wish you could say the same thing when you struck up conversation with him. To say he was anything but a brute was naive of you, and the nagging voice in your mind was lecturing you for thinking that way. To be honest, you weren't really sure what to do when he lashed out at you so suddenly. All you were trying to do was get to your seat, nothing else. But the hot headed autocrat had other plans.

Apparently you were in his way. And after he had stated that fact he went off on a mini speech about how great he was and how everyone else wasn't.

"Out of my way extras," he would harshly declare, "If you're going to act so useless, at least be stones I can step off to reach my victory."

To you, he just sounded like an egotistical boy who takes pleasure in pushing others around. But surprisingly no one seemed to question his actions. As absurd as he was, it really seemed to affect most people. You could see the glinting fear in their eyes when he crouched to meet their gaze. When he gave that jagged smirk, satisfied with the dominance created. But what ticked you off most was the way he looked down on others. How he held his head slightly higher than everyone else's and loved to poke holes into every mistake made. There was a clear difference between confidence and arrogance, and he was an excellent example of what not to become.

The odd thing was that people still tried to befriend him, despite his threatening attitude. You could see an eccentric haired red-head approach him everyday, constantly wearing the same carefree expression. Without fail, he would flash him a welcoming smile and make his way over. It irritated you, to say the least. You couldn't see why anyone would ever want to befriend someone who was plain crude. But then again, you weren't someone who would go out of their way to desperately make friends. You enrolled to U.A for one purpose only; it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

But still, you couldn't help but observe as the energetic boy beamed at the proud dictator, polar opposites at their best. You could swear you saw rays coming from his smile. And the bright radiance he gave made you feel safe, comforted and soothed. For a while, you would find yourself to bask in his joyful tendencies, the whole atmosphere lightening up when he walked into the room. It puzzled you as to why someone so pure and great as him would want to stoop down to someone which no respect for anyone else but himself.

Bakugo didn't seem to appreciate the hospitality shown to him, though. Whenever the lively boy (who you now came to know as Eijiro Kirishima) would try to spark a conversation, all he would do is yank his head the opposite direction. The only responses given were silent glares that bore through you, or rough grunts if he was in a good mood. Another admirable trait of Kirishima was that he never faltered. Even when Bakugo gave him the harshest of glares, which would strike fear into most, the red-head did not feel threatened.

He was praiseworthy, you could give him that. Although, it didn't mean that he could escape the insults Bakugo carelessly threw around. Kirishima had coined the name 'Shitty Hair' from him because of his bright red tufts that were styled into spikes that shot above. However he didn't seem to take the nickname too heavily. And he snapped back with an offhand comment about how their hairstyles were similar. It impressed you. How he could put up with Bakugo's stand-off attitude. But then again, you lacked something Kirishima seemed to have an abundance of; patience.

You remember the first time that it happened. The ticking torment that Bakugo first released upon you. All you were trying to do was get to your seat. You didn't want any unnecessary attention, and he was more than you had bargained for at U.A. As you weaved your way through the maze of pristine desks, a rough grip caught you off balance and nearly yanked you to the ground. You whipped your head in fury to see who it was, only to meet a pair of blazing red eyes. They glowered at your form, you gladly returning the favour. A gruff voice, one that sounded like coarse asphalt, spit at you.

"The hell is a weakling like you doing here?" An athletically built boy had both his feet crossed onto his desk. His forest green pants sagged and hung loosely around his waist, revealing a peek of his-. No. You scolded yourself and tugged your mind out of the gutter. The frustration that brimmed inside you was more overpowering. How dare this obnoxious man speak to you like you were some sort of lesser specimen? A sever urge to wreck this man's ego and put him in his place highly tempted you. But unlike him, you weren't looking for a fight.

You tugged away from his grip and gave him a bitter glance. His lips curled into a cruel smirk in response before running his hands through ash blond locks. You knew you hated him the minute he flashed you that smile. Indulging in the fantasy of humbling him helped satisfy your need to square him right in his cocky, perfect face. Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself and bluffed an unbothered attitude.

"That is none of your business." You replied through gritted teeth. "Now I suggest you go bother someone else before I report you for harassment." You tilted your head innocently, and cracked a forced grin at him. Bakugo's sneer disappeared from view and he scoffed coldly. He faced away before going back to his own business. Taking it as a success, you made your way back to your desk, plopping down to take you study materials out.

A bubbly brunette to your right whispered to a frog-like classmate. Their hushed conversation consisted of panicked murmurs and what sounded to be a frog-like noise. You fiddled with the stationary placed upon your desk, twirling the mechanical pencil between your fingers seamlessly. You could pick up on their little discussion if it proved necessary, but didn't bother to. The last thing you needed was another headache. After a few more minutes, the brown-haired girl seen speaking before tapped your shoulder.

"You're L/N Y/N right?" You looked up, taken aback by the sudden interaction. She looked at you with wide eyes the shades of dark honey. She was so close to your face that you could see the black lines that traced in and out of her iris. Her frame was small, but not frail, and she had her arms crossed behind her. The frog girl had now returned to her previous business. She appeared uninterested in the topic but occasionally glanced back ever now and then. You answered the girl before you.

"Uh, yeah. That's me!" A smile shone from your features, this time it came naturally. She exhaled out a little before rubbing her hands together. The odd thing was that her fingers never touched.

"Wow! Well I gotta give it to you for holding your ground against that hot head over there!" She pointed her thumb in Bakugo's direction. You noticed how her fingertips had a slightly darker shade that appeared in a circular pattern. The boy subject to the attention caught her pointing, and gave her a teething snarl. You sheepishly laughed and thanked her. She also giggled with a playful tone before leaning in to whisper in your ear. "To be honest I thought that you were gonna get blown to pieces! We all thought a villain was in the making. Anyways, I'm Ochako Uraraka. Nice to meet you."

You laughed along with her, but this time it was more forced. It's not like she was wrong; there were aspects of Bakugo that could be seen as villainous. But something about him being a villain didn't sit right with you. It did not make sense to even yourself, as to why you would think that. Perhaps you thought he had potential to be better. Yeah, you mocked your own thought. Like that would happen anytime soon.

You only proved yourself right as the days went by. The relentless blonde showed great interest in afflicting annoyance and pain into you. For weeks on end, he would belittle you with insults and comparisons. Sometimes he would even take your things and hide them in the smallest and inconvenient places. One time, he had taken your whole backpack and swung it to the top of a tree to hang there overnight. Explaining to Aizawa Sensei why you didn't have your school supplies with you the next day was a complete nightmare, him staring you down with bloodshot eyes the whole time.

Granted, there were some days where he completely ignored you. When you would make eye contact in the hallways, he would always shove his gaze somewhere else and stuff his hands in his pockets. You were thankful for these times, if you were being honest, but they only came once in a blue moon. It was insufferable; trying to predict how he would treat you was maddening and drove you up the wall. Your patience was thinning fast, and every mishap that involved him only boiled your fiery blood even more.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

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[yandere-wishes]

How the Original Villains Act With Their Twisted Wonderland Counterparts

Anon asked: Can the Twisted Wonderland dorm leaders interact with their Disney villain counterparts? I feel like it'd be really funny.

Anon you picked the worst freaking person on earth to send this ask too! Literally, the only thing I've been thinking about (okay not the only thing but you get the idea) since twisted wonderland came out has been "What if they meet their Disney counterparts??" And oh god the situation's I've come up with. Bear with me most of these are angst and fluff with yandere themes sprinkled in there. 

I feel like the villains would see themselves in their TW counterparts and become oddly passive over them wanting to give them the lives they were robbed of! They may be evil, but they feel genuine sympathy for these poor children where cursed from the day they were born! What sin have they committed to be given a life as rotten as this? No matter which villain it is they will try desperately to protect their counterparts from any and everything!

The queen of hearts isn't the best at this "motherly" role that she's tried to take up. She knows from horrific personal experiences just how traumatizing parents can be and how their views of the child can bleed into the poor kid's brain. This is the main reason she tries so dame hard not to lose his hair-thin patience with Riddle and to her surprise, the young redhead seems to be the only person to understand her, the only person that realizes just how important her rules are! He's the perfect child in her opinion, heck the perfect person! Riddle can practically finish her sentences! In a twisted (get it?) turn of events, The queen of hearts starts to morph into such a supportive soccer mom. Riddle gets a low grade on a test? Well, it's off with that obtuse professor's head! Riddle falls in love with someone? Well, she'll personally ask them out on a date for her "son". Riddle becomes obsessed with a cute little darling? Oh, how fun it'll be to stay up all night and plan the perfect kidnapping with her beloved child! From an outside perspective, it may seem like the queen is suffocating Riddle but really she's letting him be who he is, a better him even and most importantly she's supporting him! I just feel bad for Riddle's future darling cause not only will she have the aggressive Rosehearts to deal with but also a tyrannical "mother in law" too. 

Now Scar (imagine him as a human with animal features) is a rather complex character when you dive into the roots of his personality. Sure we're all meant to think he's a backstabbing murderer but there's something more to him than that. More then anything in the goddamn world Scar wants to fit in with people who understand his pain, who understand his motives. People he can bond with and maybe even have an intellectual conversation with! Leona fits that description to a tee. Not only has the boy gone through every inch of pain that Scar has, from being shunned and detested just for being born the way he was to have what's rightfully yours stripped from your time and time again! As an added bonus Leona is smart, unmotivated, and shares Scar's determination in the very view things he sees worth his time. He's like the son Scar never had! In time Scar might even warm up to both Ruggie and Jack, sure the hyena boy reminds him of his murderers and the Jackal (wolf idk) is far too headstrong but there is a certain potential inside the two young carnivorous. In due time Scar will become the most overprotective Father for his three "sons". Okay maybe not overprotective, I doubt he would care if either of the three failed a subject or got expelled or anything like that. But if they got hurt during a fight or maybe fell in love with an oblivious little herbivore? Well, then Scar is going to actually leave behind his meal and forget about his afternoon nap and find some way to help.  It can be as simple as beating up whoever hurt one of his sons or it could be teaching his kids how to stalk their little “prey”.

Okay so right off the bat Ursula is going to be super impressed with everything Azul has done. Signing contracts to take people's powers? Owning two successful businesses? What more could a mother ask for from her son? Ursula will no doubt be that parent that cancels plans just to spend "mother-son" time and who knows every little thing that's going on with her child.  She knows who Azul has a crush on, who he's dating, heck Ursula probably tricked Azul's darling into signing a contract that was really a marriage certificate. Also in a way she even subconsciously adopts the twins and ends up having to constantly get Floyd out for trouble with his professors!

Do you know that mom that's basically a teenage girl at heart, knows all the latest gossips and never shuts up about how proud she is of her son? Yeah, that's the evil queen. She and Vil are as close as anyone could get! They constantly go out shopping, go to beauty parlors and nail salons, they're always gossiping and spreading rumors about everyone! Not to mention that when she with the other OG Villains (*cough* turned parents *cough*) she's constantly bragging about how "her Vil got all A+'s on his chemistry finals!" Or how "Vil made an apple based skin moisturizer that eliminates wrinkles!" if the villains ever had meetings 90% of the time would be spent on the evil queen gloating about her new "son". Now her relationship with Rook and Epel is a bit strained, the evil queen disapproves of Epel trying to act tough and rowdy but lets it slip since "he's still just a little boy". She even takes time out of her "busy" schedule to do some apple carving with her youngest son. Secretly she and Eple have carvings of Rook, Vil, and themselves which the evil queen keeps on a shelf in her room. Now the queen and Rook's relationship can be summed up like this.

Rook, T-posing in the hallways: Good morning your majesty

The evil queen, not even looking up from her hand mirror: Good morning, problem child.

The worst part about having the evil queen as a mother is that, no one is good enough for her children. She has to personally pick out her children's darlings. They must be the most beautiful people, whose beauty pales in comparison to hers and Vil's.

This is a topic that I love talking about! And really wish others would part take in the discussion! Let me know what you guys think, would the og villains be good parents, bad parents, maybe they wouldn't even like their counterparts. And totally let me know if you have any ideas for the other three dorm leaders!

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 5 | S.R.)

Summary: Reader (accidentally) blows off a text from Spencer for another guy. Later, Spencer takes her for a second date.   A/N: By the way, when you get to the adorable dance scene, the two songs that inspired me most were “Stardust” by Lyambiko and “We Might as Well Dance” by Madeleine Peyroux (Try not to read into the lyrics, I dare you). Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW 18+) Content Warning: Unprotected sex, dirty talk, jealousy, degradation, penetrative sex Word Count: 10k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

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I had never envisioned that my life would end up quite like this. That wasn't to say that it was disappointing or regrettable, although in that moment it felt like I had miscalculated a number of things. There was no other way to describe a Saturday night spent laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling of my friend's apartment as if I could manipulate myself into believing it was Spencer's.

It wasn't anyone's fault that it couldn't be his, instead. The stupid, gorgeous bastard wasn't ignoring me; he was just out of town for the weekend.

Truthfully, I should have been a little more considerate. It wasn't his fault he had to work. But I also couldn't help but be disappointed that he was always working. I hadn't seen him in almost two weeks and it was killing me. The last time I'd seen him was the morning after our first 'date,' and it was a brief enough interaction that I had already run out of ways to overthink it.

Spencer had gotten a restful night of sleep that night. Despite his little impromptu confession, he slept as though he'd never been more peaceful in his life. I had not. I'd had the pleasure of staying up for hours, playing his words through my head on loop and trying to figure out what the fuck had happened.

It didn't amount to anything though. The morning came, and he had long forgotten the words half mumbled through a sleepy daze. I'd told him that he had been mumbling in his sleep, and he asked me if he'd said anything embarrassing. I told him no. He hadn't pressed any further, simply stating that he must've been dreaming.

I almost thought it had been a challenge; a way to test if I'd gotten too close. But then I realized that I was probably just an idiot, and I was wanting it to mean more than it actually did.

So much for having run out of ways to overthink it.

Regardless, his aloofness had returned my heart to the broken, hurting mess it had been before he uttered the words that forever altered my universe.

That wasn't his fault, either. I was the one who'd set myself up for failure by ever imagining that we could be something more. I'd known he wasn't the most emotionally available suitor since the moment I met him. At least, not for me. I'd never actually seen him anyone else.

I didn't really want to think about that, though. I really didn't want to think about that.

"Hey, get your lazy ass up so I can sit down."

The order drew me from my reverie  — rather unpleasantly, might I add. Because when I turned to face my friend standing in front of me, I came face to face with his crotch.

"Dude, I don't want any of that in my face," I laughed to the unfortunately familiar sight. "Back up before I punch you in the dick."

Somewhat surprisingly, he obeyed. He took a step back and waited patiently for me to sit up and scoot over to give him room beside me on the couch. Completely unsuprisingly, however, he did not take advantage of any of the space available. He chose to sit close enough to touch me.

"Some women would do anything to have that privilege," he lied through his teeth.

"Who are these women? And how can I help them avoid this tragic fate?"

He smiled back, having already grown used to me rebuffing all of his advances years before. We had known each other for what felt like forever, but he still tried every chance he'd gotten. That moment was no exception, and it took him very little time to stretch his arm behind me on the couch. I leaned forward, glancing back at the arm that I would continue to avoid despite his best efforts.

I narrowed my eyes in a challenge when he did nothing to remedy the situation. He did not take the humble way out, so my only other option was to do the humbling for him.

"There are three whole couches in this room and you pick the seat directly next to me?"

"You're warm and it's 50 degrees in here," he joked while lifting his other hand to poke me on the nose.

I recoiled in disgust, grabbing the pillow beside me and hitting him in the face with it as hard as humanly possible.

"Then turn up the heat or grab a blanket, jackass," I grumbled, "I'm not giving you my precious body heat."

Once again, he conceded immediately. He held his hands in defeat and scooted just a few inches further away from me. I watched him for a second until he got far enough away, and then returned my attention to my phone, which I had been religiously checking for any news about the vastly more interesting man in my life.

"What are you looking at?"

"My friend. He's supposed to have landed a couple hours ago..."

Seeing that I had no new messages, though, I slumped over onto myself and rested my elbow on my knee. Continuing to ignore the boy trying to get my attention, I favored the one that was possibly ignoring me and endlessly scrolled through our previous conversations.

"Is that the cop? Your boyfriend?" he teased.

"He's not a cop," I corrected with a roll of the eyes.

Although not keen about the thought of the two of them meeting, I did wonder what kind of rant Spencer would've gone into to describe the different types of law enforcement agents. He would learn so much about government job descriptions. But that wasn't the part of the sentence that my friend had stressed, and I felt compelled to answer.

Didn't mean I had to be loud or excited about it, though.

"And he's not my boyfriend," I mumbled into my palm. I hated how pathetic it felt; how forlorn I could be over a man not giving me enough attention. He was still just a man.

A very cute, sweet, and drop-dead gorgeous one. But a man, nonetheless. Destined to be disappointing. During my daydreams and hopeful, lovesick thoughts, my friend had come to another, different conclusion about the type of man Spencer was.

"He carries a gun and can arrest people. He's a cop."

"Whatever," I said with a heavy sigh. Wasn't worth it to fight, so I admitted to my childish infatuation with an equally pitiful, "Yeah, it's Spencer. I was hoping he'd want to see me."

I turned the volume on my phone before finally setting it down, but continued to eye the screen until it went dark.

"It's not like you to chase after a dude," he so helpfully commented.

To his credit, he was right. It wasn't like me. But Spencer wasn't like other guys I'd met, and while it was true that Spencer was ten years older than me, I could tell that age wasn't the only thing setting him apart. It wasn't even necessarily something about him in particular, although he certainly was extraordinary.

It was more like... the way he looked at me. The way I never felt like anything even remotely close to lackluster. He looked at me like the stares shone through my eyes, and the blindness was worth witnessing the unfiltered eclipse.

"I'm not chasing him. We just like spending time with each other," I explained before sitting up straighter and placing a gentle hand to my chest in feigned pride. "I'm a very interesting person."

But then he responded with the last question I wanted to hear, or even think about potentially considering in that moment. The one that had been weighing on my mind no matter how hard I tried to suppress it.

"So... why isn't he your boyfriend, then?"

I hadn't wanted to hear it because I didn't have an answer. And no matter how hard I inspected my cuticles, they likewise produced no excuse worth saying.

The man to my right was twisting his body as he settled into the seat. He kept his chest open to me in some display of fragile masculinity that was very easy to ignore.

"Is he like, ashamed of you or something?" he suggested.

That was less easy to ignore.

"No..." I wanted it to sound more certain than it did. As it stood, it was downright pathetic. Especially compared to his much more confident reply of, "Then what's his excuse?"

I sighed again, that time pulling my legs up on the couch in my unending quest to find some semblance of comfort while being interrogated on the most irritating subject of all time.

"He doesn't need an excuse. We both agreed it's better to just be friends."

He moved closer to me again, and I didn't have the energy to tell him to stop. Not like he would have listened, anyway. Egotistical prick with absolutely nothing to substantiate his inflated sense of self.

"You deserve better than that, (y/n)."

While his words were soft in volume, everything else about him remained gruff and uninviting. Nothing at all like the way Spencer could shift and turn into something completely different. My friend could act like his feigned tenderness was meaningful, but I knew that he liked the thought of me more than who I actually was.

"Yeah, right. With who? You?" I droned, wishing that my words could actually be laced with venom. Maybe then he'd have abandoned this foolhardy quest to win my affections.

"I mean I'm not gonna turn you down if you're offering," he joked.

It was that lightness that was his main redeeming feature; the reason I could keep him around even when his fingers tapped against my opposite shoulder. I laughed at both the sensation and suggestion, refusing by lifting his arm off my shoulders before excusing myself from the couch altogether.

"Piss off. I'm running down to the basement. You want anything?"

"Just for you to come back quick," was his immediate, not-at-all charming reply.

"You're a fucking idiot," was mine.

It wasn't until I was already on my way back up after grabbing a blanket and a drink that I had actually managed to forget about my phone for at least a few minutes.

Then, the terror came. The worry that Spencer had called me, and I'd failed to answer. The possibility that he might've hit my number on a list and already moved on to the next. It had only been like five minutes but still. He talked so damn fast, he could've torn through 5 phone calls in that time.

A little faster, I made my way back to the living room, shouting from down the hall, "Hey, did I leave my phone up here?"

He didn't answer immediately, but then eventually slurred, "Uhh. Yep. Sure did."

When I rounded the corner, I found the gremlin going through my phone. As I already started to plan the new pass code now that he'd gone and figured it out, I ran over, half-tackling him on the couch as I screeched, "Give it back, you dick!"

It was no use. He held it just outside my reach, laughing at the way I scrambled over him to try and grab it.

"Not unless you promise not to check it until after the movie."

Sighing with resignation, I plopped down next to him, my arms crossed and eyes rolled as I convinced myself it was unlikely Spencer would text me within the next hour and a half if he hadn't already.

It was pretty late. Maybe he had already gone to bed and just forgotten to let me know he got home. Besides, I owed my friend as much for managing to get me to forget to check it for this long, no?

"Fine. I promise," I groaned.

I tried not to let the thought ruin my night. The next two hours were like they usually were. He kept trying to cuddle with me, and I kept pushing him away until I eventually didn't. I gave into the general familiarity with the guy I'd known for basically half of all my memories, stopping every few seconds to wonder if I should have felt guilty.

Then I felt guilty for having asked myself at all.

Once the credits began to roll, I held my hand out with zero hesitation. I (im)patiently for him to deposit my phone, which he did, to his credit. However, what I found struck me to my core. My hands immediately began to shake hard enough that the LED blurred in my vision.

"Uhhh, what the fuck is this?"

"What?"

I held up my phone, displaying a text message that had been sent from my phone a couple hours earlier. On the screen, clear as day, me and him from earlier in the day. A painfully domestic snapshot of the two of us running errands together.

The picture shown, though, was one that I swore I'd deleted from my phone. It was him with his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest while I laughed. It wasn't a bad picture, but the context was entirely absent. For example, the fact that I'd almost bruised his chest hitting him right after the photo was taken.

"Why did you send this picture?!" I yelled, desperately swiping at the time stamp. "Two hours ago?!"

He was much too quiet for what was happening. In my haste, I hadn't even notice the accompanying text above the picture, which read 'Sorry man, she's all mine tonight.' Spencer didn't reply.

"Why didn't you tell me that he texted me?!"

My frustration had peaked, and I stood up, pacing somewhat unproductively as I tried to collect my things.

"Because I knew you'd try to leave, and I haven't seen you in fucking ages," he whined, as if I was overreacting.

But I wasn't. This contrived bullshit was entirely his fault, and entirely fucking ridiculous.

"Are you fucking kidding me, dude?" I shouted, finally finding my bag and shoving my stuff inside of it angrily. I didn't even finish, with a few loose coins angrily clambering to the floor as the soundtrack to my farewell.

"Well, now I'm definitely leaving, so kiss my ass!"

Before I could actually leave, I held up my middle finger in the furthest thing from a joke.

"Wait, (y/n), it was a joke!" he called back but didn't try to follow me.

He'd known it wouldn't work. I was too mad.

"You're not fucking funny!"

I slammed the door to my car loud enough to wake the neighbors, but I couldn't care even a little bit. My hands were shaking so hard, that it was a struggle just to click my phone. But I did, fervently pressing Spencer's name until the stupid, traitorous phone could figure out what I wanted it to do.

It rang for 15 whole seconds before I grieved the reality that he wasn't going to pick up. I sighed, lowering my phone to hang up before he could ignore the call or I was given the choice to leave a voicemail. It had been my own fault, anyway.

But just before I hit the button, I heard a tired, crackly voice coming from the other side of the line.

"(Y/n)?"

Oh my god, he picked up.

Then, all at once, the words poured out of me.

"Spencer? I'm so sorry I didn't text you back! Please ignore my friend. He's a fucking idiot."

I could tell from the silence that Spencer was replaying them in his head to try to make sense of the frantic, slurred speech in his own sleepy state. Once he had gotten the gist of my panic, he started to laugh through a yawn.

"It's fine. You looked like you were having fun."

I couldn't tell if it was jealousy in his voice or something else. Either way, it felt terrible. My insecurities crept through my throat and came out with dramatic overcompensation.

"Yeah right. He held my phone hostage. I was waiting to hear from you and he got jealous or something."

There was an awkward silence on the other side of the phone, and so I continued with only a little tremor in my voice, "I'm glad to see that you got home alright."

Another few seconds of silence followed, but then it was the Spencer I was used to again.

"Yeah. It's less fun without you here, though."

That wasn't supposed to be as romantic as it seemed, I reminded myself. He was just flirting. Typical fuckboy nonsense, uttered to get a rise out of me one way or another. He didn't actually mean to imply that he'd already considered what it might be like for me to have joined him.

Right?

"I can still come if you want," I rushed, looking down at the clock in my car for the first time and grimacing at the revelation that the 'something else' in his tone had, in fact, been exhaustion.

"Although... I'm just now realizing its 2am and I definitely woke you up..."

"Typical," he joked, "you being out late, trying to make me jealous with age-appropriate boys."

My laugh bounced back at me from the walls of the car, and I covered my mouth once I remembered that I was still in a public area.

It was weird to me how whenever I talked to Spencer, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. I'd never felt that way with another person before. Those cheesy romcoms were all starting to make sense, and I hated how powerless that made me feel.

"I was not! Trust me, if I wanted to make you jealous, I could do much better," I humbly stated. It was only a little bit of a threat. "I just don't know why he did that. And of course, that picture, which I had deleted, by the way. He seriously had to get it from another folder. He just likes to torture me, I guess."

Spencer cleared his throat from the other side of the phone, readjusting before he clearly enunciated, "He likes you."

The statement wasn't shocking. Anyone who'd spent more than five minutes with the two of us knew that he probably liked me. I'd even considered exploring it at one point before smacking myself in the face and reminding myself of my standards.

But still, to have Spencer know that felt a little bit weird. After all, most 20-something boys would do anything to torture their friends. Even the girl ones. Especially the girl ones.

Then something else began to brew in my chest; a twisted sort of pleasure derived from the sharpness that had formed on Spencer's tongue. The jealousy creeping through the crackling static and wrapping its talons around my heart.

"... I don't know," I absently said.

He sensed the hesitancy in my voice, and asked back with a strange inflection, "Do you like him?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, closing my eyes as I dropped my head back against the headrest. I didn't want to answer that question honestly. I felt like nothing I said could be right. So, I just chose the closest thing to the truth.

"No, not really."

We were back in one of those awkward silences. The kind where we both wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I turned my car on when the stale, stagnant air became too suffocating. The sound alerted him to enough information for him to speak again.

"Are you heading home?"

I switched my phone to the other hand, trying to delay giving my answer by sounding busy. I didn't really have a reason, I just hadn't wanted to hang up yet.I wanted to stall him and selfishly keep him around just a little bit longer.

"Yeah, I guess."

Super smooth. I could still salvage it though.

"...Unless you've changed your mind and would like a personal space heater in bed with you."

Spencer's laughter would have been offensive if it wasn't so adorable.

"Yeah right, your feet are freezing. I don't even know how you still have toes."

That checked out, and also gave me an escape from the terrifying prospect of ending the call.

"I'll wear socks!" I offered with the utmost enthusiasm, "I actually own thigh highs, you know. If you're into that, Professor."

It had been a few weeks since our tryst, but I had hardly ever stopped thinking about it. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I'd traced the marks he'd left behind with an ungodly powerful nostalgia.

His laughter turned to frustrated groans as he mumbled, "Are you trying to torture me?"

Once our ruckus died back down, the silence was more serious than strange. I felt the urge to apologize again. I needed him to hear the sincerity behind what were so often empty words.

"I'm really sorry I missed your message, Spencer."

My voice was quiet, unsure, and scared. I didn't want to lose him, and I knew an extreme on either side of the emotional spectrum would let him slip away so easily.

It was exhausting being emotionally lukewarm, but some part of me wanted to believe that it would be worth it with him. That patience was all it would take to show him why he had nothing to be afraid of.

But where I showed mercy, he showed himself to lack it in any sense of the word.

"It's fine, (y/n). I'm not your boyfriend. If I really want the company, I can find it."

That wasn't why I was sorry, and what he'd said only made it worse. The ugly, resentful part of myself was convinced that was why he'd said it at all.

We both knew I didn't want him to find it with someone else. That was the entire reason I was sorry I missed it. If I missed his call, nothing was stopping him from making another one. I hadn't ever asked if there were other girls in his life, but I definitely didn't want to find out like that.

"I missed you the past couple weeks. I still do."

The genuineness in my voice scared me. I hated being vulnerable; especially when he was already so apprehensive about me. I wished I knew why he was. But at that moment, he was being his usual playful self, not willing to give me any hint of an answer in exchange for my candor.

No, just: "You're so good at whining."

I pouted like he would be able to see it.

"I just want some cuddles. Is that too much to ask?"

"Go ask your boyfriend, I'm sure he would be more than happy to oblige," he quipped.

"He's not as good at it as you are," I deflected, playing off the suddenly obvious jealousy in his tone. Before I could rub my quick wit in his face, however, Spencer raised a white flag that I'd never seen coming.

"Fine. I'll wait up."

That was when I realized that he had been more jealous than I'd thought, and I still had a startling amount of power to play with.

But I was still unable to comprehend it, and with a graceless gasp, I chirped, "Wait really? I can come over?"

An unsure laugh and an almost audible shrug later, he responded, "Sure, I figure it'll get me to bed faster somehow, as opposed to staying on this call."

I didn't hesitate to start to pull my car out of the spot, happily singing into the phone, "Okay! I'm on my way! Bye Spencer!"

"See you soon."

—————————————————

As I was old enough to be able to tell time, and aware enough to recognize that it was incredibly too late to be knocking on an apartment door, I tried to do so softly. I halfway succeeded, stifling the noise enough that he could still hear it, but his neighbors wouldn't. They would remain unaware of the girl bouncing on her toes outside of his door, squealing the second she heard shuffling feet on the other side.

Jesus Christ, I sound like a teenager, the more sensible side of me noted.

I might've felt shame, had he not opened the door in that very moment to reveal himself, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and pajamas on that were big enough they his half his hands.

He was... in a word, adorable.

"Hey sleepyhead," I cooed.

Spencer remained silent, but offered his arm in a halfhearted invitation for a hug. The blanket hung like a wing that I very much wanted to wrap myself in, and he was all too happy to allow. I actually giggled as I lunged towards him. I wrapped both arms around him and breathed in the clean scent of laundry detergent and soap.

"I'm sleepy, too," I said with a relieved sigh. The air was quickly replaced with that which smelled of him. So, too, the silence filled with a soft chuckle as he pulled me close to him and rested his chin on the top of my head.

Like a man from a fairy tale, he started to sway, slowly turning us around until we were headed in the right direction. The right one, of course being the one that would lead to us falling in bed together again.

"Alright, little girl, you can come crawl into bed with me tonight."

The words were like music to my ears, and I felt like I was floating. I was glowing, my skin flushed with warmth like a wood fire on a cold Winter night, and my eyes fell half lidded from some mixture of tired and pleased.

"Thank you, sir," I slurred through a smile. It grew wider as he took my hands, prying me away from him to lead me back to his room with more purpose.

Once we finally padded over, I dropped my overnight bag on the floor and began to strip off my shirt. He eyed the bag on the floor with a feeling I could almost place.

"Were you planning on staying with him?"

I felt a pain through my chest as he asked, because I knew the answer. I had been, but only because I'd done it so many times before. Our mutual friend wasn't in the house, so I knew I could use his bed. But saying I was planning on staying there alone sounded even more suspicious.

"Yeah. I've stayed there before. Always in a different room. We've been friends a long time."

There was something about the way he looked at me that made my stomach flip in a delicious way. A feeling that could only be described as dangerous and exhilarating. But then it was gone, replaced by the apathy he usually tried to display. I continued to strip, nonetheless, slowly peeling my leggings down and stepping out of them. I could feel his eyes on me.

I twisted by body in the hope that the movement would distract him from the conversation I hadn't really wanted to have. Jealousy, while a fun tool for the consenting, had a tendency to grow old quickly. It was a beast that did not like to be controlled; especially when taken by surprise.

But he had no reason to be jealous. I had all but begged him to come over, and I was currently naked in his bedroom. I didn't even look up at him before sliding under the covers. I was too scared for what I might find, and opted for enjoying the lingering body heat and smell of Spencer on the sheet, instead.

"I don't want to know how good you are when you're trying," he warned.

I looked up at him with guilty eyes, recognizing this was his gentle way of telling me he was jealous. But he'd said it himself... He wasn't my boyfriend.

"Come here," I pleaded while running my arms along the empty space where he belonged. "I'll show you why you shouldn't be jealous."

Spencer licked his lips as he looked at my exposed chest, pulling off his pajamas and slinking under the covers with me. Facing each other, my hands quickly found his erection, pumping it softly as he immediately rewarded me with a soft moan.

"I missed this," I whispered, closing the gap between our faces.

He responded in kind, taking his time to lay a lazy kiss against my mouth while he groaned, "I missed your hands. Among other parts."

As he spoke, his hand was traveling down my side to my center. My breathing picked up as he got closer, but he diverted, running his fingers up and down my arms that continued to work his length. The soft whimper that escaped my mouth entertained him, and he brought his hand back down.

"Say please, (y/n)."

I couldn't talk though. I was biting down on my lip to stop myself from telling him I fucking hated him for teasing me. With big puppy dog eyes, I watched him while I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Stop biting on that lip or I'll do it for you. I don't care how cute you are."

His hand now ghosted over exactly where I wanted them, and he used the very tip of his finger to collect the wetness forming there. My hands stopped as he made contact, my grip tightening for a second.

"Say please."

He wanted me to beg for him to touch me, but I didn't want his hand. It was almost 3 AM and I was exhausted and needed him. All of him, immediately. Badly enough that

"Fuck me, sir," the words spilled out of my mouth. "Please, fuck me."

A content humming came from him as he brought a hand to my hair. But the pleased sound lulled me into a false sense of security, which was shattered seconds later when he pulled my head back to look him in the eyes.

From there, I could see that look in his eyes again. That dark, possessive stare that made me long for the shadows to consume me if it meant more time with him.

"I p-promise," I stuttered as one of his fingers teased at my folds.

He raised his eyebrows as he waited for me to finish my thought.

With a cruel, sadistic smile, I continued, "I promise I won't think of anyone else."

That playful characteristic snark that has originally driven him to me had returned, and he pretended to be disappointed. He liked it, though. He wouldn't admit it, but the way I read the secret, hidden thoughts in his mind like he could read one of his book clearly drove him insane.

He guided me by his hold on my hair, lifting me off the pillow and not taking a minute to consider the repercussions before growling in my ear, "Turn around."

I obeyed, happily pressing up against his crotch as I settled into my position as his little spoon. I noticed a distinct lack of a pause this time, and gears began to click together as I felt him rub the bare head of his cock in the slickness pooling around my thighs.

"I have some questions for you, little girl."

He was pissed.

"When was the last time you got tested?"

I could hardly think straight as I realized where this was going. I tried to gather my thoughts and enough control to stutter back, "L-last week. I-I haven't... haven't slept with anyone else. Not since you."

My answer earned me a tender kiss on the neck, but it wasn't enough. I was trying to still my hips from knocking back against him. I couldn't completely stop myself, though, and I knew it made him feel even more confident about his decision.

"Good. Me neither," he replied.

I sighed with relief, happy to at least answer that question. I'd barely had any time to recover, though, before he continued, "Is there any way you could get pregnant right now?"

I shook my head no. He stopped my head with one hand on my chin from behind.

"Use your words."

"No!" I half shouted, realizing I just sounded like a brat. "No, no I can't. I'm on birth control. I won't get pregnant. Promise. You can..."

My breath matched pace with my heart, and I swore I was already lightheaded. Still, I forced the last few words through the heavy panting to earn my next, far more enticing prize. The magic words he had been waiting for:

"You can do whatever you want to me."

When he released my hair, my head fell forward just for a second, because soon my entire back arched in response to the way he began to push inside of me.

"Good," was all he'd said.

With that, he fully sheathed himself inside of me, and I cried out as I felt the way he stretched me. His hand swiftly covered my mouth before he began to pound into me from behind. One of my hands tried to keep me in place on the bed, while the other flew up to his hand over my mouth, holding it without trying to remove it.

I was calling his name underneath him, and he responded by making shorter, deeper thrusts.

Through it all, he chuckled in my ear, "It's always funny how fast you stop acting like a brat after I put it in you."

My eyes rolled back at his words, breath shuddering against his hand. He slid all the way out of me, and then applied enough force to push me up in the bed.

"Have you ever had someone finish inside you before?" he asked too sweetly for the provocative words. He moved his hand from my mouth and dragged it to move the hair that had fallen in front of my face.

I went to shake my head but remembered his instruction. Instead, I cried, "N-no."

"Good," he responded again, and my toes curled at the pride he felt in claiming this body as his own. He took my hand in his, pulling it down to feel the small bump forming in my abdomen each time he slammed into me. The next time it appeared, he halted, holding me in position against him. "I'm going to fuck you so hard that the next time anyone even thinks about touching you, all they'll taste on you is me."

He pulled out slowly before pounding into me again. With more violence in his motions and venom on his tongue, he spat, "and if you want them you can explain to them how you begged for me to come inside your tight little cunt."

I was in a state of shock, unable to comprehend how he was capable of making such cruel, licentious words. Each one made my body shake, and he kept himself inside me longer with each motion to extend the feeling. I ached at the way he filled me, desperately clinging to my own stomach where I could feel him.

"Good luck thinking about anyone else while I run down your thighs," he said before punctuating it with a firm, unforgiving, "you fucking bitch."

With that, he finally moved his hand, but it was not a merciful action. His fingers rubbed in the mess of our bodies, then dragged the wetness back to my clit, pressing harder than he ever had before. My head was still swimming from his language, and I thankfully didn't have to use my words. He was very capable of figuring out my body language himself.

I could feel the way the heat coiled in my stomach, the tension building as his mouth ran along my neck. Once he attached himself to one spot, driving into me at a brutal pace, I felt the energy shift and begin to blossom. Feeling the way my muscles quivered around him, he stopped his kisses, groaning loudly in my ear.

"Fuck, little girl," he continued to moan, his thrusts faltering as I tried to coax his orgasm out of him. It seemed to be what he was waiting for. Unable to contain the shrill cry that tore from my chest as his arousal filled me, I tried to pull away from him. But I couldn't, his hands holding me down and his hips rocking as deep as they could possibly move inside of me.

Exhausted, I tried to move away from him once his movements stilled. However, in another surprising move he slid out just to slam back into me again.

I whimpered from the overstimulation, doubling forward as he gave a few more deep, rough thrusts before pulling out entirely.

I had no idea how, but Spencer immediately got out of bed. He left me a sweaty, desperate mess on his bed. Thankfully, he tossed me a towel to help me clean up so I wouldn't have to sleep in the puddle dripping slowly down my legs. Shaky but satisfied, I somehow managed to make it to the bathroom and clean up.

When I returned, he was still awake. He was silent, sitting up in the bed with his eyes closed and contemplative. As I shut the door, he finally noticed my presence. He turned to look at me with an awkward smile until he pat my spot on the bed.

"Come here, little girl."

A little too excited, I shuffled over with a bounce in my step. Not satisfied with simply lying next to him, I curled into his side, wrapping my arm around his waist and nuzzling my face to his chest. From there, I listened to the way his heartbeat seemed to slow down with my touch. How his muscles relaxed under me, like he had been anxiously awaiting my return the same way I had been waiting to return to him.

"You're not really a bitch," he mumbled in a quiet, sleepy voice.

I couldn't help but laugh, tilting my head up to glance at him from my position on his chest.

"I mean, I am a little bit. But I know what you mean."

He wrapped a tight arm around me, using his hand to run softly through my hair. Leaning down, he gave the top of my head a small peck. I smiled against his skin, loving the way it felt to be surrounded by him. To be safe and cared for despite all else.

"Thank you for coming here with me tonight," he said in a low volume, like the words might spook me. "You're a very special girl. I hope you know that."

I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed frozen in place. I waited to hear the rest of what he wanted to say. People have always said we're most honest at night. I wanted it to be true, to give more meaning to loaded words.

"I'm really glad I met you," was what he said.

I closed my eyes, breathing in the words that felt like a balm on my aching soul. Unable to come up with a response that wasn't terrifying, though, I sat up and crawled to him. It was my turn to return a tender kiss, this time to his lips. As we pulled apart, he still looked at me like the answers to the universe were written on my skin.

I went to kiss him again, but he stopped me with a hand on my face.

"Don't..." he instructed, breaking my heart with just one command.

But I saw the fear reflected in our eyes, the kind that was deeper than a simple rejection. It was not the fear that we might not love one another. It was the fear that we very well might one day.

Spencer said none of that, though. He left me to forever wonder if it was just me who felt it. Instead, he surrendered with a simpler, safer explanation.

"If you kiss me like that again, I won't be able to stop myself."

I didn't ask what he was stopping himself from doing. No matter how badly I wanted to. Instead, I ran the back of my fingers against his cheek and whispered in the space between us, "Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again."

My desired outcome came true, but not quite how I wanted. He didn't kiss me deep or passionately. He kissed me soft, like my lips were made of glass. He kissed me like he was protecting me from the terrors of his mind.

"Go to sleep, little girl," he instructed gently, coaxing me back to my position on his chest as we both sunk down to lay flat on the bed. "Picard can wait."

Laying there, next to what I was convinced was an actual human angel, I gave myself permission to drift off into sleep, hoping that my dreams could be half as good as reality.

That didn't happen.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I woke up, but it was still dark outside, so it couldn't have been too long after we'd fallen asleep. Spencer had turned away from me at some point. That wasn't strange or entirely surprising, but I noticed a strange sound from his side of the bed that made my hair stand on edge and my stomach churn.

It was... crying.

"Spencer?" I asked as quiet as I could. When he didn't respond, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder in the hope that it would be an easier transition to the waking word.

But his body still jerked under my touch, and he sat up much too quickly before grabbing his face in both hands. It wasn't until then that he noticed, drawing his hands back slowly and inspecting the wetness he found on his fingertips.

"Hey, Spencer, are you okay?"

He didn't answer.

Suddenly extremely worried, I brought both of my hands to his arms and pulled him closer to me.

He still didn't answer.

"Were you having a nightmare?"

So many red flags were burning through my brain, and I didn't know what to do with the information in front of me. I just wanted to help him.

"I... I must have been. I'm sorry," he said when he finally spoke. He wiped at his tears like he could erase what I had already seen. Moving his hands away, careful to keep my touch as non-threatening as possible, I wiped his still falling tears away with my thumb.

"Why are you sorry, Spencer?"

"I... don't know."

It was an honest, but terrifying answer. A quickly completed checklist of a horror I was deeply familiar with. A reality that I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world. Especially not him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied with a force so strong I thought the word was physically painful for him to say.

"Okay," I reassured him, "We don't have to."

He wasn't laying back down. He wasn't moving at all. It was like he was somewhere else entirely.

I moved closer to him, placing a hand on his back to gently rub circles and another on his lap. I offered the only thing I could think to help him in that moment.

"Do you want me to hold you?"

His eyes were fixated on my hand on his lap, his breathing slowly regulating the longer we sat like this.

Still, he halfway refused, "It's okay."

Raising my hand again, I ran it through his hair before guiding him to look at me with a tentative smile.

"You're not a burden, Spencer. I want to."

The tears were falling again, albeit slower and with his mouth curved ever so slightly. I tried to give him the calmest reassurance I could. A soft glow in my eyes that burned with the affection and comfort I desperately  wanted to provide.

"Come here, love," I said as I motioned to me.

Spencer dutifully followed. Soon his head was on my chest, my hand curling his hair around my fingers. He hugged my waist like I was the only thing keeping him here.

And I laid there with him, trying not to think about the way his tears wet my skin. Hoping that, for now, it would be enough for him to get some sleep.

A mop of curly brown hair was the first thing I saw when I woke up to the shine of the sun through the curtains. I smiled, but only until I remembered why he was on my chest.

It was obvious that he had barely slept, his muscles continuing to persistently twitch in their paranoid state. When I went to pet his head again, he stirred under me, pulling himself closer to me the same way he had before.

I didn't want to think about what had happened, but I knew I had to. Normal people don't wake up crying from a nightmare, and they certainly don't get painfully defensive when it happens.

I hadn't known practically anything about his life before. What he had been through, or whether he'd told anyone at all. I hadn't even known if he'd anyone to tell.

I was painfully reminded that he was not the superhero I made him out to be in my head. He was just a man, trying his hardest to do more good in the world than all the evil combined. That was an impossible task, though. He was doomed to fail.

His ears must have been burning, because the longer I thought about it, the more he woke up. Eventually he was entirely alert, sitting up and removing himself from the position we'd assumed for the past several hours.

I was surprised to remember what it felt like to be able to breathe without the weight of him on top of me. I was even more surprised to feel my chest felt heavier in his absence.

"Good morning," I mumbled, watching as he effortlessly got out of bed and began to get ready.

He seemed embarrassed, but he really shouldn't have been.

"Did you get any sleep?"I asked.

Spencer ran his hands through his hair before he turned back to me, a smile on his face like nothing was wrong.

"No," he sighed, "This brat woke me up at 2 AM and insisted I sleep with her."

It was nice to know he was still capable of joking but concerning to see that he was so good at compartmentalizing. I laughed along with him, nonetheless, sliding out of the bed to join him in getting dressed.

"What a bitch," I said with a smirk.

As hard as it was to pretend like the night before hadn't happened, I knew that he wasn't ready to talk about it. Heaven knew it would have been much worse to burn the bridge then. At least if I built the trust now, he might be willing to talk about it later.

"You know, I wasn't actually going to tell you to come over last night," Spencer announced.

The 360 of the conversation took me by surprise, and I blinked rapidly to try and reorient myself.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm glad you did. But I was actually going to ask you if you're free tonight."

Spencer was nothing if not an emotional rollercoaster demanding passengers before 10AM. Ready to roll bright and fuckin' early.

"Yeah, I am. If you're still wondering," I answered in place of the multitude of questions I hadn't been ready to ask yet. Questions like, why was he wondering? Why did he need to schedule this? Was this another 'not-a-date' date?

"I wanted to take you somewhere," he mentioned casually, finally fully dressed while I still struggled to put on my clothes.

"Where?"

"It's a surprise," he said with raised eyebrows, like he was so very proud of himself.

I'd let him have that one, but only because he was so damn cute.

"Fine. That means I have to go home to get cleaned up first, then."

He seemed only a little disappointed by that, but overall acquiesced. I was a little sad about it, too, but remained confident in the old adage that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Besides, I wanted to look cute for my surprise.

We hadn't talked much before I left. I could tell he was still struggling with coming to terms with what he'd accidentally revealed to me in the middle of the night.

Honestly, it was a good thing I left. The desire to talk about it was overwhelming, and some things are better left unsaid...

For now, I promised myself. Just for now.

—————————————————

Spencer came to pick me up without a hitch. When I climbed into his car, I fully expected him to not tell me where we were going. I was right; he didn't. Of course, after about 30 minutes I recognized the route we were going. When I'd graciously pointed it out to him with increasingly less subtle suggestions, he still refused to give me a single hint.

That was, until we pulled into Observatory parking lot.

"I've never been here before!" I squeaked. My excitement had been obvious enough with the embarrassing crack, and Spencer's interest in my enthusiasm only grew.

He was looking at me with that soft, slightly saccharine smile.

"I figured. You aren't nerdy enough to go by yourself," he chuckled. The genuineness behind the sound made the already excited butterflies in my stomach begin to swarm.

"Hey, I can be cultured too, you know," I still corrected with the worst posh accent you've ever heard.

With a teasing smile on his face, the stupid man chose to look away rather than to admit his honest reaction to the statement.

Asshole, I thought, only to be proven wrong seconds later.  Forever a gentleman, Spencer joined me on my side of the car and took utmost care and attention to help me out from my seat.

It felt strange, to adorn his arm like something beautiful as we gazed at the stars together. I tried not to think about it, but wondered just how far he was willing to risk being seen with me in an undoubtedly romantic setting.

"Isn't this place usually closed to the public? I know they have limited general admission days," I asked, despite already knowing the answer. I just wanted to see if my hunch was correct.

"Yeah, I might have called in a favor or two."

Fuck, was my first thought. The next twelve thoughts, however, were all reiterations of 'Don't get your hopes up.'

My grip on his arm tightened, but he didn't seem to mind. I'd guessed that his nonchalance was entirely due to the private nature of the excursion, but I wasn't going to ask, and I certainly wouldn't complain. I was happy enough that he'd brought me, even if he wasn't ready to admit why. I could be patient. Sometimes.

Once inside, Spencer knew exactly where to go. I watched in awe at how many people knew who he was, and how much they looked up to him. While I had also always been impressed by him, it'd become easy to forget just how impressive he was when all the time we'd spent together was so far away from the rest of the world.

But Spencer's quiet humility certainly wasn't an issue that night. He spent nearly two hours walking me through what ended up being essentially all the stars in the sky. Much like the museum, it consisted of me adoring both the content of his words and the man himself.

He told me the story of the vain Queen Cassiopeia and her doting husband Cepheus, still holding each other in the stars millennia later. He spoke enthusiastically and with no sense of pacing. Half the time my eyes left the telescope, turning instead to marvel at the way he moved his hands and fidgeted with his hair as his voice tumbled out of him like it couldn't be contained.

It was just the two of us in the room when he finished, the dim lights and quiet ambiance catching up with me as I stared at him with all the reverence in the universe above us. He eventually finished his thoughts on Perseus and Andromeda, and I could tell by the look on his face that their love story meant something to him.

"You're quite the romantic, Dr. Reid."

He seemed surprised by the sentiment, like it was something he'd never heard before, and now he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. So, he simply laughed awkwardly and moved closer to peer into the telescope.

Whether it was because he felt a stronger connection to the extraterrestrial, or because he simply didn't want me to see that he was blushing, I didn't mind either way. A few less seconds under the scrutiny of his gaze would do my heart well.

"Not sure many people would use that word," he said under his breath when he worked up the courage to speak.

"Well, I did," I replied much more confidently.

He was smiling but trying to hide it the same as the pink hue to his cheeks.

"You said you were 14 when you went to college, right?" I said with narrow eyes, trying to read him from under the large machine.

"Yeah," he responded with an equal dose of caution, "... why?"

"Probably didn't go to prom then, huh?"

His answer was obvious from the way his entire body jumped. Knocking his head on the telescope as he rushed to give an answer, all his mouth would produced was a long, dumb, "Uhhh."

I knew he was about to try to run away. Before he could, I stopped him. With both hands on his arm, I kept him close. Eventually, his muscles gave in and accepted my embrace.

"Come on; dance with me," I begged.

He looked around the room for an excuse. There was no one there, just the two of us on arguably the most heartwarming date I've ever been on in my life.

"There's no music," he scrambled, eventually admitting, "aaand I can't dance."

Ignoring the pitter-pattering of a childish, lovesick heart, I laughed.

"I can teach you, Dr. Reid."

We both knew he wasn't getting out of this one. As I hopped down from the stool, I revealed my secret weapon from my pocket. I pulled up a playlist that I knew would suit him and the setting, and I held out my hand in an invitation that couldn't be refused.

"I have all the world of music at my fingertips. Now I just need you. "

Spencer groaned, but behind it all I saw an undeniable happiness. When he put his hand in mine, it too felt like warmth and safety. I took it with an even brighter grin, immediately bringing him closer to sway slowly to the music coming from my phone now seated on the stool.

The acoustics of the room let the music flow through, and within moments we had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. My cheek rested against his chest and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You lied to me, Dr. Reid. You definitely know how to dance."

"Okay, but does it really count if you've only ever done it with your mom?" he asked.

I threw my head back as I laughed, and he joined me. The two of us shamelessly filled the large room with a warmth not entirely unlike a far away star.

"Don't laugh at me!" he pouted, but I think he actually enjoyed the sound.

"I'm sorry," I whined, "you're just so fucking cute I don't know how to handle it."

Finally able to stifle the joyous sounds, I looked up at him with even more fascination than I'd showed the stars. I'm not sure what I had expected, but it wasn't what I'd found. Because Spencer's eyes were like mirrors facing the sun; reflecting the passions I spewed so carelessly right back at me.

"There are over a million words in the English language, and I still can't think of a single combination to explain how I feel about you."

Just like that, he'd stolen my breath and my sense. My smile fell into a look of smitten shock, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince my heart to fall back into its rhythm.

"I-I'm surprised you don't know the exact number," I said with an awkward chuckle.

"Well, some estimate that it's 1,025,109, but new words are created constantly, and it would depend on what actually counts as a new word. Not to mention the different dialects, words that have fallen out of common use, or words that may be used for entirely different purposes despite being the same."

I raised my eyebrows, not at all surprised that he had an answer, but excited to hear it, nonetheless.

"But it doesn't matter," he whispered, impervious to just how much he was breaking my heart. "Because no matter the number, I know it won't be enough."

My eyes lit up like the stars we had just spent hours staring at, and I wondered if he could tell. He must have. Because his hand on my hip pulled me closer, and our hands intertwined as our pace slowed to a stop. Our breath was unsteady as he came closer to me, pausing just before our lips touched.

We shared the oxygen between us, daring the other to do what we both know we shouldn't.

So I did, leaning up to kiss him as my hand slid up his arm and around his neck. His hesitation melted into the embrace, our tongues gently sharing space in an entirely new way.

I thought to the millions of stars in the sky, realizing that I shared Spencer's skepticism of an unknown number. Because no matter how many stars there were, I knew there would never be enough to outshine that moment between the two of us.

It was not a hurried or excited kiss. It was an amorous, amazing promise of a kiss. It was the kind of kiss that they wrote about in Corinthians. It was patient and kind. It was not proud nor self-seeking. Spencer's free hand held my face against his; the way they wrote that love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.

Did he feel the way he was kissing me? Because I had.

I felt it like a storm, the breeze blowing the air from my lungs and breaking down the walls around me. I held onto him and this moment, scared of what this meant for us. How could I pretend like we were just friends when I shook for days at his touch?

That was why I was the one to end the kiss, looking down away from him as I did. A soft, defeated chuckle as I took a deep breath. When our eyes met again, I lowered my arms to his chest, listening to the soft tunes still floating through the room.

"We should go home now," I whispered.

He was reading my reactions; I could feel it. And in doing so, he had lowered his own walls too far. I could see them behind his eyes.

My voice shook as I continued, "... before you do something else to try and make me fall in love with you."

Spencer didn't look scared as he replied with a cheeky little grin, "Why, is it working?"

I almost passed out at the way his eyes softened at my goofy smile.

"I'm kidding," he immediately followed.

I rolled my eyes at the absolute bullshit of a lie. I tried to play it off like it was nothing, but my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest. I tried not to think about it too hard as we made our way back to the car.

As he helped me in, I realized that we were really going to continue acting like none of that just happened. I tried to think of how that kiss we shared could be written off, but I couldn't. That was not the kind of kiss between friends. It was not the kind of kiss between strangers.

It was a kiss of the kind we both implicitly promised not to talk about.

Once the trip home had begun, I gathered the courage to tread lightly.

"So, what was the fantasy for tonight?" I innocently asked.

A little confused, he glanced over at me, careful not to take his eyes off the road.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've found each time we're together there's some sexual component," I chuckled. "This is pretty far from home, and you seemed very into it. I was just wondering what inspired this trip."

I was trying to avoid obviously ogling his reactions by shifting my eyes from him every few seconds. I had leaned against the door, surprised by just how tired I really was. He was doing that thing where he weighed his words again.

Eventually, he shrugged. That softness returning to his features from before, he began, "To be honest, (y/n)..."

Please, don't break my heart, I begged to that beautiful man.

Actually turning his head entirely to me, he spoke through a delicate smile, "I just wanted to look at the stars with you."

Goddammit.

The stars returned to my eyes, and I could see them reflected in his. My heart sped up to prepare for the panic as I realized that it was definitely too late for us. Because his efforts were working. They had been working all along, and I never tried to stop them.

As I drifted off to sleep in the comfortable silence of our company, I couldn't ignore the obvious:

I think I'm in love with Spencer Reid and I think he's starting to love me, too.

But we couldn't just love each other in isolation, and I wasn't sure he was ready to make that leap with me. In fact, I knew he wasn't. I still knew basically nothing about him, and he knew virtually nothing about me. How could it be then, that our souls felt so at home with each other?

Which would hurt more? Finding out he didn't love me, or that he did... and just wishes he didn't?

—————————————————

| Part 6 |

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Eda's Requiem" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

...

...

...HOW IS SEASON TWO SO GOOD?! WE'VE HAD SEVEN EPISODES SO FAR, AND EACH ONE OF THEM WAS A HIT!

Take "Eda's Requiem," for example. It's yet another episode where I have NOTHING bad to say about it! That's two weeks in a row where that happened! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

HOW!

HOW!

...But anyways, "Eda's Requiem." It's another fantastic episode, and I'm about to dive into explaining how and why. Just keep in mind, it's gonna require spoilers to do so, so be wary of that as you keep reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Eda’s Checklist and Grom Photo: Within the first second, "Eda's Requiem" perfectly sets up Eda's central conflict in the episode. Despite spending years being on her own and looking after herself, she now has two kids that she's constantly caring over. Eda can try all she wants to say that she doesn't care, and I bet she has in the past. But given the hard work she's putting into getting King and Luz what they need and having a grom photo of the three of them together pinned in her mirror, it's pretty clear that those two knuckleheads wormed their way into her heart and are never getting out.

Eda’s Worried About King and Luz Leaving: And thus, that's precisely why something like this bothers her so much. Eda inadvertently adopted two rambunctious rapscallions (Yeah, I know. I'll get to it), so the idea of them not being around her anymore is going to be terrifying. That is a situation most parents, especially mothers, can identify with. It’s called empty nest syndrome and it proves just how much Eda loves Luz and King that she can't stand the thought of her babies leaving the nest. It's yet another well-made, wholesome, found-family moment that this series continues to excel at each week, making me extra excited for more like it to come...while also readying myself for heartbreak when one of them eventually does leave Eda.

Eda and Raine’s Music: Ok, I don't know the exact instruments that were played during this episode, but I also don't care because it was all (for lack of a better term) music to my ears. Every time Eda and Raine played resulted in melodies that are so beautiful and filled with so much emotion and feeling that I'm honestly tempted to listen to them again, multiple times, on repeat. Shows rarely do that for me, as background music doesn't always draw me in as much as lyrical songs do. Usually, it takes something so extraordinarily composed to give me the desire to listen again, and that's the case here. So huge congrats to Brad Breek for doing so. Seriously, the man's been killing it this season.

Eda’s Bard Magic Causing Things to Turn to Ash: This was assuredly a surprise side-effect of the curse. The fact that Eda can sort of do magic at all was its own shock. To then reveal that a specific type can do dangerous things to people and environments is...Well, it definitely brings up its own fair share of questions. Like, how can she do this? Will she do it again, one day? And are there other types of spells that can be negatively affected by Eda's curse? We don't get answers for any of these questions, and odds are, we never will. But that's alright with me. Because if a show makes me consider these many possibilities after a brief amount of time, it is a show that has to be doing something right. Even if I don't get the answers I want, the fact that it caused such a reaction makes me less willing to care.

Raine Whispers: Hey, would you look at that. Another fun, interesting, and compelling character added to the list of this shows' other fun, interesting, and compelling characters...how is this series so good at this!?

Joking aside, Raine's pretty good. I like Raine. They could have been this super serious leader who lost all their fun after years apart from Eda, but I'm glad that they're not. There are moments when Raine takes their job as leader of the BATs seriously, as one would, but I still prefer the fact that they kept a jovial nature despite how grim their situation is. It's an admirable trait to have, and it avoids the trope of making leader characters boring just because they're the ones who have to take things seriously.

Oh, and also, Raine's Disney's first non-binary character who has a stake in the plot. This is a tremendous deal, as you don't usually see that many non-binary characters in children's animation, let alone ones that hold importance to the story. So it's pretty cool for the writers to feature Raine, as it helps several kids feel as though they're finally seen and respected. And the fact that Disney of all companies gave the thumbs up is even more impressive. I hear people say that Dana Terrace should have pitched The Owl House to more progressive networks to avoid pushback, and while I absolutely see your point, I'll have to respectfully disagree. Disney is the largest entertainment industry of all time, so if you want to make LGBTQA+ representation normalized, you gotta stop making splashes and start making waves. Because if the same company that made three racist cats in the span of a few years manages to say that being gay is a-ok, then you know there's something wrong with you. Yes, Disney ended up screwing over the show anyway. But for that one moment, when kids felt pride after seeing a character like Raine, then, in the end, it's kind of worth it.

Also, if you're still having issues with more representation like this popping up in kids' shows, then allow me to redirect you to the complaint department.

...I made that post earlier today for this bit. YOU HAVE BETTER APPRECIATED IT!

Day of Unity is meant to be a Secret: At least, that's what I got when Raine stumbled over their own words. So if it's true, then I wonder why? Why does Belos want to keep the most critical change in the Boiling Isles a secret? Does he want to make it a surprise for his grateful subjects, or does he not want to spread worry and fear amongst the wild witches? It has to be something big if he doesn't want his followers to even say the words "Day of Unity." Whatever reason he has, we most likely won't know until the future. A future that I grow more and more afraid of each week.

Hooty Eating Echo Mouse: My heart sank in that brief moment when I thought that Hooty intensely screwed Luz over in getting back home. But looking back...it is pretty funny.

Just the suddenness of Hooty eating the poor creature that Luz desperately tried to earn its trust is priceless in how shocking it was. And also, Luz's expression.

That was the look of a young girl who immediately shoved her hand down an owl demon's throat the second the scene cut away. The Owl House may not always be a hit in the comedy department, but scenes like this prove that when it's funny, it is hilarious.

Luz and King Entering the Grand Prix: Not much to discuss here. It's just a cute subplot that adds frivolity to the intensity of what's going on through Eda and Raine's story. But I will say that I love how both stories occasionally interconnect with each other through the many moments of Eda being worried about King wanting to leave to find his father and avoiding any conversation about it. It helps both plotlines feel like they belong together, without being something like "Through the Looking Glass Ruins," whereas both stories could have been in their own episode. Which is neat.

How Bard Magic Works: I really love how this season is diving into how the other magic types work. More specifically, the ones that seem a little vague. I mean, stuff like healing, potions, and plants are easy to figure out, but what does it mean when a witch's talents are construction, beast keeping, and bard magic? We've been getting a lot of clearing up lately, with bard magic looking like a witch can control their environments and enemies through the power of music. Which is fair. Music is pretty powerful in the metaphorical sense, and I actually love that it's powerful in the literal sense when in the Boiling Isles.

The BATs: Not much to comment on these three either. The BATs have the potential to have an entertaining dynamic, but they do very little in this episode that I can't say much other than I hope they make a return in the future. But I will make this claim: Amber is my favorite. I'm sorry, but her screaming "You're not our mom!" to then go, "Bye, mommy Eda" is just too precious for me not to love.

I'm a simple man who falls for cute s**t. Leave me alone.

Raeda (RainexEda): Well, EdaxCamila, you were a fun crack ship while it lasted, but I'm afraid that this is now goodbye. The current canon has provided an incredibly adorable and believable relationship that I would be a monster not to support with my whole bi-heart. It's been real.

Ok, back in serious mode: I love these two together. Eda and Raine are grown-ups, and they still act all flustered near each other as if they were still Luz and Amity's age. It's definitive proof that you're never too old to get flustered near a crush, and seeing them interact adds a sense of wholesomeness when seeing them together as well as heartbreak when they're forced apart. Plus, we get confirmation that Eda's LGBTQA+! Whether she's bi, pan, or whatever, now that we know Eda can catch feelings for someone like Raine, it's yet another case that The Owl House is the most important series to the community. Because having the main character be queer is fantastic in its own right. But having the same apply to the motherly mentor figure? That's is an extra bit of normalization that anybody would be willing to appreciate.

Unique Guard Designs: Not many fans are going to appreciate this, primarily compared to everything else this episode does perfectly. For me, I actually like that you see a few Coven Guards looking differently from the others, as it helps make them less like clones and makes it seem like anybody of any body type could be a part of the coven.

Gus Looking Uninterested when Presenting Grand Prix with his Dad: I am positive that you didn't notice this (I didn't even notice it until someone else pointed it out), but there's something to dissect here. It hints that perhaps Gus isn't as interested in his father's field of work as one might think. If he did, he would look a lot less bored and much more excited to be helping Perry Porter present the race. It could just be the race itself, but judging from Gus' expression, it really seems like the kid would prefer to be anywhere but there. And why would he have that reaction to a race that his best friend is competing in? To me, this seems like an inkling of what Gus' relationship with Perry could be, which may not actually get time to shine, what with how little wiggle room the series has now (Thanks Disney). Regardless, it is interesting to notice, and it will certainly have fans thinking for a while.

Bump Being Smug of Luz Being in the Lead: That's it. Principal Bump looking smug as his human student is beating the students of his rivals is yet another moment that proves why Bump is easily the best cartoon principal.

Darius: First of all, this guy is f**king fabulous, and I love him. *Snaps*

Second, he is definitive proof that you do NOT want to f**k around with Coven Leaders. Lilith may have had her intimidating moments, but none of them compare to the guy who can turn himself into an abomination monster where only magic that hasn't existed before can take him down. It's genuinely scary to see Darius lose control, and I fear for the day when Luz inevitably ends up in his crosshairs.

With that said, Darius' still a ton of fun! He may be threatening, but he's just a flamboyant guy that hates the idea of getting his outfit the tiniest bit dirty. And I love that. I love that these Coven Heads have actual personalities instead of being generically evil. I consider it preferable to make villains entertaining rather than blatantly scary as I'll remember the personalities first and the villainous acts last.

Eberwolf: But this one's my favorite. I told you: I'm a simple man who gets easily swayed by cute s**t. And Eber? I mean, just look at her:

She's just a cute widdle rascal! I just want to pinch her cheeks, give her a belly rub, and--

...Eberwolf is not a cute widdle rascal. She is a strong, independent woman, and I will respect her as such from this moment forward...lest I feel her wrath.

That is all. Let's move on.

Eda and Raine Attempting a Final Performance: This was the best scene of the episode. It looked gorgeous, it shows the dedication Eda and Raine have for stopping Belos, and it says so much through so little. Go back and look at how Eda and Raine regard one another when performing Eda's requiem. Through their expressions and a few short words, you know they understand that if they complete the song/spell, they probably won't make it in the end. And yet, they don't care. They both know bad stuff will happen if Belos wins, so Eda and Raine put everything to the side, both their feelings for one another and the people they leave behind if it means putting an end to a tyrant. That level of dedication...Words can't fully describe how powerful that is.

Raine Sacrificing Themselves Instead: But in the end, Raine can't do it. Not when they know the life that Eda has and the people she'll be leaving behind. It's an extra bit of nobleness to the character seeing that Raine refuses to take away a woman from two kids who need her the most. A tad bit selfish, sure, knowing what Belos has planned. But when it comes to love, the romantic, familial, or platonic, the best decisions aren't always the logical ones.

Eda Crying: Luz crying tears me up, but seeing Eda cry is a whole different level of heartbreak. Like Lilith, Eda has her emotions locked up tight, with the closest she came to weeping were those two tears in "Young Blood, Old Souls." In "Eda's Requiem," she cries but almost quickly stops herself. As if she knows that doing so isn't going to save Raine. That is...even worse than seeing Luz break down after losing Eda. The fact that Eda refuses to give herself time to mourn losing someone she loved is tragic because crying is the most natural way of showing grief. Turning that off isn't healthy, and seeing her do it with little resistance is sad to me. It's sad to see a character I love can easily shut off all emotions despite how badly she may want to embrace them. It's one of those moments that, again, by doing so little, it shows so much.

“No one watches Crystal Balls anymore. It’s all about streaming.”: Oof. Even I felt that burn towards cable.

King’s Message: King's message was the pick-me-up I needed after the heart-wrenching sadness this episode put me through a few minutes ago. Seeing King say who he is and listing all the things he loves is nothing short of adorable. On top of that, I adore that Eda willingly recorded the whole thing. She may not want King to leave, but that doesn't mean she'll sabotage the one thing he wants. Especially not after Raine gave up everything so Eda could be with her kids. The opening scene may prove how much Eda cares about a rascal like King, but this heartwarmingly sweet moment reveals just how far she'll go to make him happy.

King’s Dad Reveal: ...ok, I'll be honest, I did not think we'd get that reveal this soon. Dumb of me to say, considering the number of times I've said that these writers don't waste time getting to the s**t, I know. But still, it's pretty cool knowing that King's dad is alive and well, added with the fact that we've got a fair idea of what he looks like. At this point, it's only a matter of time before we see him figure out where the Clawthorne residence is and witness the tear-jerking moments that will follow.

King Changing his Name to King Clawthorne: Not the official adoption I was expecting Eda to make...but DANG IT, is it still diabetes-inducing levels of sweetness!

Personally, I feel like the main reason why Eda breaks down this time is not only because she shouldn't be worried about King leaving her life, but also because Raine's sacrifice wasn't in vain. Her kids really do need Eda because no matter how far apart they'll be, she will always be a part of their life...dang it, I'm going to cry too!

What those Coven patches really do: Well...that was horrifying to see.

...Writers, if you kill off the best non-binary character in animation (it's a short list, I know), we are going to have PROBLEMS!

IN CONCLUSION

"Eda's Requiem" is--surprise surprise--another A+. The emotions hit hard, the representation hits harder, Raine is a fantastic addition to the cast, and it was all surprisingly cute at times. Season Two is currently on a hot streak, constantly winning with every episode that's come out so far. When a bad episode does eventually show up (IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!), I'll be sure to sing my requiem then. For now, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride.