#every song that layers that over their music is so good for my brain

[transmechanicus]

If i had thought projecting telepathy i would never use my voice and would instead mentally project it with a 1950's radio mic effect

[jeon-ify]

- 𝘫𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘰 - 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 ! ⋆·˚ ༘ *

synopsis: in which the way you look after showering gets your husband worked up.

genre: romance, smut, 18+. mdni.

warnings: dilf yunho!!!!!! yunho is in his late 30s-early 40s here, nudity implied, kitchen sex, swearing, breast play, making out, female reader, big!dick yunho, hand kink, finger sucking (yunho AND reader!!) tit sucking, cervix fucking, choking kink, breeding kink, if i missed anything let me know ! :3

song for the chapter : into it - chase atlantic

happy reading !

the coconut and lime scent of your conditioner floods the first floor of your home, sending your husband into a faint distraction. the scent runs up his nostrils, up to his brain, and straight down his cock. the music you’re playing blares through your phone in the shower, your husband hearing it through to the second floor.

“I BEEN CATCHIN’ PLANES FOR THE FUN OF IT,”

you sing out extra loud, your husband pausing his speech to apologize for the background noise.

you took an everything shower today, so you already made dinner before showering— considering you’d be exhausted.

somehow, yunho put the pieces together, finishing dinner and making it the right way. you didn’t expect yunho to be so generous tonight— but here you are, standing over the stove and nibbling little pieces of the food while you waited for yunho to finish from a call he was wrapped up in.

you looked around the kitchen out of boredom, looking for things to do before you dived into the food. the way yunho’s shirt sat so pretty onto your body, riding up your thighs as your pink panties peak through the ends of the tee made your man so painfully distracted— holding himself back from fucking you over the piping hot stove.

yunho watched how the ends of your hair weren’t fully dried and how it dripped onto the back of your calves, dripping down your shiny legs. he also watched how your— his— tshirt rode up your legs anytime you reached up somewhere or bent to get something. his eyes did not leave your body.

you were still stood over the stovetop, taking little bites of the greens. you moan in how good the food is, a blend of paprika and garlic seasoning, along with the sweetness of the teriyaki sauce that yunho drizzled everywhere.

but even through the layers of seasonings he put into the food, your scent still broke through it all.

“yeah, sounds good. i’ll put in the CRA request like we mentioned previously, and i’ll email you the forums. just let me know when you need it. was there anything else i could assist you with today, mr. song?” the man on the computer responds and the call comes to an end.

you stare at how attractive he is when he’s working— all the business talk that made no fucking sense to you, but he understands it like his own language, and that in itself makes you weak.

“doll, what do you have on? it smells good.” he finally decides to speak after what felt like hours of him admiring from behind his computer screen.

a much older man admiring your hygiene is something you never thought you’d see, but yunho was drooling on the laptop beneath his fingertips.

“it’s your favorite lotion,” you look up at him through damp eyelashes and flushed cheeks, watching how his nostrils flare with every breath he takes.

it takes yunho everything in his body to not pick you up and throw you over the counter and pound a baby into your small belly. he’s much older than you are, but when he met you, he knew you’d be his companion.

“yu, this smells really yummy. you did a great job, baby.” you walk over to yunho on the other end of the table, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind him. he holds onto your hands and throws his head back onto your stomach, looking up at you.

“sweets, the last thing on my mind is dinner. let me taste you, little girl,” his soft and mature voice makes your legs quiver with excitement as yunho takes your hands in his, bringing your middle and ring finger to his mouth, sucking on the digits. you gasp in response, watching how desperate the middle aged man underneath your touch grows weak at your feet.

“i can never get enough of you. wanna fuck you all day.” he stands up to face you, bringing his lips to yours. he sucks and nibs at your bottom lip to gain quicker access to explore the rest of your mouth. you deepen the kiss, the faint taste of cigarettes cloud your small mouth, making you whimper in desperation. he slides a hand between your thighs, thumb rubbing against your clit. you’re not sure if your juices make a patch on your panties or if its from your shower. nonetheless, you are so fucking turned on right now that the last thing on your mind is dinner.

“what have you done to me, pretty girl?” he feels as though you’ve casted a spell on him. everything you do makes him feral; weak in the knees. but somehow, you make him a man.

“i’m just here, yunho. don’t give me all the credit,” you gasp at the feeling of his long fingers pushing into your tight wet cunt. he gasps in sarcasm, exploring your face as he uses your cunt to soak his fingers— bringing them up to your mouth.

you feel his fingers curl into a ‘come here’ motion, your breath hitching as he pushes against your walls. your eyes roll, grasping his forearm as he speeds up his motions. you cry out and beg for him to slow down, but he doesn’t listen.

“so pretty. look at these lips, let me kiss them.” he brings his lips to yours in an open mouthed makeout, gasping for air as he pulls away with a deep-dimpled smirk. your pussy convulses around his long fingers, as your husband groans in response.

your thighs clamp shut in an attempt to calm yourself down from how aggressively his fingers ruthlessly ravish your cunt. yunho, reaching your cervix from how long his fingers are, takes in a deep breath at how fast he’s been moving. “yu- ohh— fuck! please— i’m cumming, please i’m gonna cum!” you chant begs along with his name as if it were a mantra, feeling the way his hard cock presses into your backside.

“yeah, feels good, doesn’t it, baby? now let me feel you cum on my cock.” he brings his fingers up to his mouth, sucking himself dry of your juices. you whimper in need of him inside of you. he lines himself up with your entrance as you’re bent over the counter across from the stove.

he pushes into your soaked pussy deeper, feeling his dick throb ruthlessly inside of you already. lucky for him, he was able to hold himself for almost half an hour on end while he fucks you.

“s-sir, it’s so big! i don’t think i can take y-“ you pull away from his length, feeling like you’re being ripped in half by what feels like 12 inches. he runs his hand along your back from underneath the t-shirt, in an attempt to calm you down and keep you around him.

“tiny girl, you can take me. you’ve let me fuck my cum into you hundreds of times. what’s changed, dollface?” he almost makes you cum from his voice in itself, but you decide to push back while he stays still, waiting for you to adjust to his size for what feels like the millionth time throughout your relationship.

he begins pounding into you at a quicker pace, pulling and tugging at your bare nipples from underneath you. your mouth hangs open as yunho brings his large hand to your throat to wrap itself around it. you grit through your teeth, wishing you could just cum.

you don’t feel like you want to cum, you feel like you’re going to squirt all over his body. “talk to me, baby. what’s it feel like?”

he’s being so fucking annoying and making you focus on anything else other than your orgasm, but you only moan and cry in response.

“i— ‘s too much.” whimpering and shaking in a headlock, you grasp onto yunho’s arm to get a breath of air. from the way his muscular arm wraps itself around your throat makes you cum over, and over already.

yunho gets another quick scent of your lotion and conditioner, making his cock twitch in your cervix.

“i’m almost done baby, give me another one— fuck, you smell so good. the fuck are you doing to me, baby?”

he pounds into you again, harder this time— tugging at your panties to pull you back onto his hips, planting himself deeper in you.

“nngh, oh my god!”

“oh, but i’m the one making you cry like this. give it to me, fucking milk me dry. gonna spill all my cum into your tiny stomach. let me give you my babies, hm? how’s that sound?”

he bends over so his chest is against your back as he nips at your ear. his tongue licks up your tears, planting a kiss on the end of your right eyebrow. his thrusts slow down as he holds you in place to shoot his load right into your baby maker.

“oh my— fuck! yes, so good!”

you cry out in relief that you finally got to spill out your cum onto yunho’s still cock. he lands a sharp slap on your ass before pulling you back up and planting a kiss on your forehead.

“so pretty when you cry for me. should keep a picture in my wallet.”

yunho gets down on his knees before you, licking up your thighs where your juices dried. your fingers run through his pretty softly gelled black hair.

he licks up all of your juices near your heat, using his fingers to push back the cum that threatens to drip from your pussy. your eyes roll to the back of your head as yunho places a kiss on your lower stomach, traveling up beneath your shirt to suck a generous amount of skin on your tit.

“yun— you’re sucking too hard, fuck!” he sucks and bites your nipples as if you were his lifeline,

he slaps the area he sucked on, making you gasp out in surprise. “keep my cum in you until after dinner, i’ll fuck more into you.”

so you sat at the other end of the table with your thighs clenching and unable to think about anything other than your husband pounding a shit ton of babies into you.

————————

🌷🤍🎀

well? dilfyunho anyone?????

[utterentropy]

"(FUCK YOU YOU AQUAMARINE ANGRY LITTLE SHIT!)"

Atop the tall podium, rinsed in an iridescent, golden hue, a celestial rim washing down each corner; trimmed by a dusty silver, shivering with a pearly shine.

"[WHAT DID I DO, HUH? EXACTLY WHAT? DID I STAND WRONG? DID MY EYESIGHT MAKE YOU JEALOUS? AM I OFFENDING YOU WITH MY ABILITY TO SHUT UP?]"

The audience, cornered in the nooks of their seats, twitched and bowed at the rancorous uproar.

"(WELL IIIIIII'M SORRY, I HAD TO CARRY US ALLLLLL THE WAY HERE, YOU GODDAMN CUCK!)"

"Guys…" A well-heighted man, head the shape and hue of a noble planet. "You both won, you don't have to–"

"[WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'CARRY', YOU TURKEY-BRAINED BODY ODOUR-FRAGRANTED PURPLE MASS OF DEPRESSED RODENTS?]" Mind tightly roared from the crease of his lips, whipping his brand new sun trophy onto the podium; a hard, metallic clatter snapping into the flooring. "[IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE INFORMATION OUT THERE ABOUT OUR RIGHTS TO THIS SEAT!]"

"(ARE YOU KIDDING? EVERY CHONNY JASH FAN LOVES ME! I'VE GOT FUCKING APOLOGISTS! YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE WHO FRAME YOU AS THE NARRATIVE'S VILLAIN 'COS YOU SUCK THAT BAD!)"

"[YEAH, AND WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SET UP YOUR KEYBOARDS? AND TRANSLATED SHEET MUSIC INTO SOMETHING YOUR SORRY ASS COULD UNDERSTAND? AND–]"

"(SHUT–)"

"[AND FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET UP YOUR STUPID FUCKING AIR-CONDITIONER, BECAUSE–]"

"(I PAY FOR YOUR PAINKILLER PRESCRIPTION!)"

"['(OHHHHH, I CAN'T FOCUS IN THE HEAT! BUT I WEAR BAGGY HOODIES AND TWO-LAYERED PYJAMAS AND)–']"

"(AT LEAST I DON'T EAT MY GOLDFISHES!)"

"[AT LEAST I DON'T PLAY FNAF SONGS ON THE PIANO AT FOUR IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!]"

"(I WROTE THE BEST SONGS FOR OUR ALBUM! WITHOUT ME, OUR STORY OF HOW WE SUFFERED (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF YOU) WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN!)"

"[NAME ONE PERSON WHO USES GOOD DAY AS AUDIO!]"

Words torn from mouth and crashing into each timorous ear surrounding the two, pronounced in a very ired, Australian tongue.

Arms furiously stretched and swung and feet stamped to enunciate visible outrage.

"Yeesh, Moon… I always thought our relationship was bad, but it seems like sun and moons across the universe can get so much worse…" Sun shivered, a quick tug on his coarse yet metallic collar, punctuated by a swift glance to his lunar counterpart. "Over where we're from, we have to deal with living in a giant animatronic mall and occasionally the works of cross-dimensional madness. But over there, it seems to me they really need to learn a lesson about getting along!"

"I could take them in a fight with a small dresser tied to my dominant hand." Moon stared, unblinking, body as stiff as a long rock.

The other contestants watched as the words were rocked and tossed in a staggering hatred.

At one point, Heart's wings had enlarged to mimic that of a threatened bird inflating its stance to appear larger; Mind's chest hummed with the overwork of his fans.

Suns and moons from all sorts of solar systems stationed across the multiverse watched in horror.

Two of them were those guys from Nimona, but I don't know dick about shit about Nimona so you gotta use your imagination for that one.

"Right right, you two have your trophy, just…" The celestial staff member disarmingly motioned their hands, gazing down at the two halves. "What are you going to do with your prize money?"

"(Oh, I'm probably gonna use it on an invasive wildflower and a seven hundred AUD life-sized Lopunny plush.)"

"[To pay off my severe prescription zolmitriptan debt that I'm four months behind on because I spent half my yearly salary on a car that I ended up crashing because of a migraine.]"

Happy tiny niche fandom winning against FNaF and Nimona for all who celebrate

Reblogs > Likes

[blurredcolour]

Frostbite & Mistletoe

Summary: An extremely long shift at a Christmas tree lot brings an unexpected customer with an unusual request. Agreeing to help Austin Butler acquire a Christmas tree leads you down a path of rather unexpected events.

Pairing: Austin Butler x Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: Language, Holiday Fluff, Christmas Trees, Car Trouble, Cold, Snow, Exhaustion, Allusions to Mental Health Struggles, Mature/Explicit Themes [Hickeys/Love Bites, Oral – m/f receiving, Condoms, Lube, Manual Stimulation – m/f receiving, Penetrative Sex] – 18+ Only

Author’s Note: This is pure fantasy! While it’s fun to think of going home with a random celebrity, please try to be more circumspect in real life! Also - Thank you for your suspension of disbelief about the weather!

Word Count: 6179

Just twenty minutes more. In twenty minutes, you would be free of the longest day of your life.

Cincinnati, Ohio was certainly not the coldest place on earth but eight hours outside in an unprotected Christmas tree lot had chilled you to the bone. It was a tradition of yours, to volunteer for a few shifts and help raise money for the children’s hospital. It had proven to be one of those winter days where the temperature dropped by the hour and the person scheduled to take over for you never showed up.

Meanwhile, the weather had done nothing to deter the steady flow of customers. So as the sky clouded over, you had agreed to stay and help the next shift until closing at eight. Nineteen minutes to go. Walking down the aisles in your bright orange hi-vis vest, you were tidying and cataloguing the remaining trees. Yet another thing on the never-ending list of shortages and inflated prices. Demand was high as everyone was throwing themselves headlong into a holiday season with every cliché trimming. It was only day one and a third of the stock was already sold.

Over-sized, fluffy snowflakes had been gently falling for the past two hours; so light that they seemed to defy gravity, hanging in the air or some even floating back upwards. If one had to pick the best kind of snow, that would have to be it. The strains of Frank Sinatra’s Christmas Waltz reached your ears for what felt like the hundredth time that day, but you were practically euphoric at the prospect of going home in eighteen minutes and allowed your feet to shuffle across the snow-covered asphalt as you waltzed along to the music.

Frosted windowpanes

Candles gleaming inside

Painted candy canes

On the tree

Seventeen minutes. Spinning dramatically, you turned up the next aisle to continue tidying and collecting inventory.

It’s that time of year

“When the world falls in love, every song you hear…”

Your feet stumbled to an awkward stop as a rich, male voice joined in with Old Blue Eyes from right behind you. You turned quickly to see what you guessed was a long, lanky man bundled up in several layers including a baseball cap, hoodie, and peacoat. A man with azure eyes that were sparkling with mirth at having caught you waltzing to Christmas music in a tree lot.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you stop…it’s just such a good song…” He grinned, the movement drawing your eyes to his plush, pink lips framed by a golden-blonde goatee.

You hugged your clipboard to your chest as though it were armour that could protect you from your mortification.

“D…do you need any assistance?” You asked, forcing a professionally pleasant expression despite your embarrassment.

“Well…” He chuckled awkwardly, pulling at his lower lip with long, chilled-looking fingers. “I do have a bit of an odd request? I really, really want a tree, but I don’t have a car…Do you do delivery at all? I’d be happy to pay…”

You stared at him, brain struggling to process his request after such a long day.

“But…how did you get here?!” You blurted and winced as maybe that was not the best tone.

“Walked…” He grinned sheepishly. “I’m in town on business and pass by here every day with my driver. I came as soon as I could, but I don’t think I can carry a whole tree back to my rental…”

You swallowed thickly, closing the distance to an appropriate conversation proximity.

“How many blocks?” You asked, looking up at him. Definitely tall.

“Maybe ten?” He cocked an eyebrow, and you felt your throat tighten as you realized you had seen that face before. On a movie screen. On a tv screen. “Look I brought $200 to make it happen, happy to donate it to the cause…well causes. Your hospital and my sanity.” His laugh rang a little hollow.

Swallowing painfully, you managed to clear your throat.

“We close in…” You glanced at your watch. “Fifteen minutes. I have a roof-rack, I can help you.” You smiled softly, hoping to cheer him a little.

The way his eyes lit up…well, like a Christmas tree…brought warmth back into the chilled cheeks. His smile was infectious, and you felt the tired muscles of your face stretch to echo his grin. You took a moment to properly introduce yourself before getting back to business.

“So…what kind of tree are you looking for?” You asked.

He shrugged with an adorable, hopeless expression and shrug of his shoulders. You could not help the laugh that tumbled from your lips.

“Long needles or short?” You started simple.

“Short, like a fake tree but real.” He nodded authoritatively.

“Ok then, let’s walk away from these scotch pines.” You chuckled and led him over to the fir trees.

Working with his description of the space he wanted to fill, you helped him choose a six-foot douglas fir. You moved to pick it up, but he beat you to it, slinging the bundled tree over his shoulder. You paused a moment to appreciate the sheer physical presence of him before swallowing again tightly and leading him up to the cashier. He handed over his two one-hundred-dollar bills to the bewildered woman who, upon your explanation, beamed and tucked it into the cash box.

You handed in your inventory list to the site leader who thanked you for working a double with a great big hug. You shook your head warmly and promised to see him again next weekend, leading Austin over to your somewhat dated, compact SUV. The snow was falling thicker now, clinging to both of your outerwear, making everything dramatically whiter as you strapped the tree to your roof-rack.

“Do you know if your rental has a hacksaw?” You asked curiously.

“Yes! Yes, I checked that. There’s a tree stand, a whole box of decorations, and everything I need…except the tree.” He beamed proudly and you felt warmth emanating from your chest.

“And you’ve fixed that now too. Hop in.” You shook off some of the snow and slid into the driver’s seat as he did the same, sliding in across from you.

The vehicle seemed just as tired as you, the engine turning over sluggishly before it finally roared to life, and you found yourself able to exhale the breath you’d been holding. You cranked the heat before heading out into the rapidly accumulating snow.

“Well, I guess it’s fully winter now…” You muttered and followed his directions to a small home fairly close to downtown.

As your limbs began to thaw, a bone-deep ache of exhaustion bloomed throughout your body. You could not wait to crawl into the tub and stay there for hours, topping up the hot water as needed. You pulled into the driveway. Perched on the doorsills, the two of you worked together to untie the tree before you jumped down to help ease the tree to the ground as he slid it off the back. The angle cause all the accumulated snow on the tree to cascade onto your head and down the gap at the back of your collar. The pathetic gasp was completely involuntary, causing him to leap down and quickly take the tree, looking you over.

“Are you alright?!” He asked, resting the weight of it against his body and gently dusted the snow from your head and shoulders. “I’m so sorry…”

You smiled up at him wearily and shook your head.

“I should have seen that coming…” You sighed ruefully and carried the tree up to the porch.

Making sure the stand was ready in the living room, you held the tree as he cut a slice off the bottom of the trunk, under your instructions. You could tell he wasn’t the most natural handyman, but precision was not a huge concern here. Using the screws in the stand, you made sure the tree was standing up straight before filling the well with fresh water.

“You need to water it every day.” You instructed him as you ensured the heating vent behind the tree was closed. “And never leave the lights on when you’re not home.”

“Thank you.” He smiled as he saw you back out to your car. “Really, you have saved the holidays for me, thank you.” He repeatedly earnestly and held his arms open. “May I give you a hug?” He asked before sinking his teeth into his lower lip.

You regarded him with wide eyes for a moment before nodding shyly as you looked to the side and shuffled forward into those open arms. He wrapped them around you tightly, surrounding you in warmth and the heady scent of cinnamon and black pepper. Your exhaustion had you forgetting all sense of propriety as you leaned into his chest with a deep, contented sigh. You’d never fit so well into someone’s arms before…

With one last squeeze, he pulled back slightly.

“I should let you get home; you must be exhausted.” He smiled gently and you nodded, dumbstruck at how truly gorgeous this man was.

“I’m crawling into a hot bath and staying there until tomorrow.” You managed to murmur and tensed as you realized you were close enough to feel, as well as see, the warm puffs of air falling from his lips. “Have a good night.” You said quickly as you pulled back and waved somewhat awkwardly before climbing into the car.

As that sluggish, shuddering sound emanated from your engine once more, your initial reaction was denial. It worked last time, you just needed to try again. And again. And…and then it wasn’t even making a sound at all. You pressed your forehead to the steering wheel, taking deep calming breaths as the temptation to just cry was overwhelming. Thankfully you remembered your AAA membership and quickly dug out your phone and membership card.

Austin knocked on your window and you rolled it down.

“I’m gonna call for a boost…” You sighed and dialed the number on the back of the card.

“Come inside before you get frostbite…” He insisted, opening your door. You sighed as the recorded voice assured you ‘your call is important to us’ and followed him in without argument. It was nowhere near cold enough for frostbite, but his concern was genuine and touching.

You sat at the kitchen island and quietly watched him get a kettle boiling as the overly cheerful hold music played in your ear. As he shucked off his winter coat and pulled off his hoodie, you gulped audibly at the peek of his tanned, toned abdomen as his white t-shirt caught on the fabric.

“Put it on speaker, I don’t mind. Let me take your coat so you can warm up properly.” He smiled and held out his hand as you quietly obeyed. You could not help but watch the way his bicep bunched at the weight of your sodden jacket.

“Hello this is John speaking, how may I help you?” A human voice suddenly filled the room and you fumbled with the phone to answer as he took your coat to hang it up to dry.

“Six hours?!” You cried out incredulously at the service estimate and the agent issued a litany of apologies. You were furious and seriously questioning why you paid for this service, but poor John sounded just as tired as you felt, and you knew it wasn’t his fault. “Ok, thanks.” You ended the call and looked to Austin pathetically as he filled two mugs with tea bags and boiling water.

“Must be the cold and all the snow out there…” He murmured sympathetically.

“Yeah, I guess. I’ll get a cab or something and come back when they call.” You opened your ride share app and gasped at the wait times. Your last-ditch effort was the taxi app, but the fare estimate was murder.

Sliding a mug of tea to you, Austin leaned in.

“This is entirely my fault, please. Please just stay here until they can come.” He looked up at you pleading through his lashes. “There isn’t a tub but there’s a shower and I can get your clothes dry and…”

You blinked back tears of frustration yet again and took a shaky breath. The snow dump that had covered you had now melted in the warmth of his rental and had water dripping from the ends of your hair onto your shirt. Completely disarmed by cold and fatigue, you were helpless against that look. That pleading.

“Ok…” You breathed meekly and sniffed. “Sorry, it’s just been a hell of a day…” You apologized, gesturing at tears that had snuck into your eyes despite your best efforts.

He pulled you in for another reassuring hug and you sighed warmly.

“No apologies” He smiled and stepped back, holding out his hand. “C’mon, shower’s this way.”

You took it slowly with yours, marveling at the way his warm skin completely enveloped yours, making you shiver deeply.

“You’re freezing…” He frowned and tugged you to your feet before leading you quickly down the hall, past the stairs. “Robe for you to wear, stay as long as you like. Lock on the door too.” He touched the items as he mentioned them before stepping out to leave you in peace.

Stripping off your wet clothes, you stepped into the warm spray of the shower with a deep moan, not being mindful of your volume at all. It just felt far too good. You shuffled back to sit on the shower bench and let your skin soak in the warm water. After a good ten minutes you finally felt the ache and tension leave your muscles. Coming to your feet, you borrowed whatever was in the shower to wash your hair and body before you turned off the water. Stepping out in a cloud of steam, you towelled off before pulling your underclothes back on, putting the robe on top.

Carrying your damp clothes, you rejoined him in the kitchen, smiling softly to see him ladling hot soup into bowls.

“That was a lot shorter than I thought you’d be.” He smiled. “But I’ve got dinner ready!”

“Truly, this is beyond generous, thank you very, very much.” You shook your head in awe.

“Here let me put those in the dryer really quick. You eat.” He set a bowl and spoon on the counter and snagged your clothes before disappearing downstairs.

Sitting down, you dug in happily, groaning a little a how hungry you suddenly realized you were. You’d eaten nearly half before he reappeared to join you, chuckling and giving you a few pieces of bread to mop up every last drop. He sat beside you, eating his own bowl as you leaned heavily on the counter, making small talk about the weather or something. Honestly, now that you were fed and warm, you found it quite difficult to keep your eyes open.

“Why don’t we go sit on the couch…” He offered generously and you nodded, shuffling after him.

You grabbed the thick, cozy blanket that was draped over the back of it and wrapped it around your legs before sitting down carefully. Through your drooping eyelids as you watched him turn on the gas fireplace.

“So how long do I have to wait to decorate again?” He asked as he sat down at the other end of the couch.

Inhaling through your nose while rolling your shoulders back, you tried to wake yourself.

“A couple of hours. The branches will relax, and you’ll smell the pine when it’s ready.” You nodded before giving in to the temptation to rest your head back against the couch. You briefly felt a surge of guilt as you had a fleeting recognition that you were falling asleep but were too far gone to do a thing about it.

The sound of soft curses, muttered under Austin’s breath, sunk into your consciousness and your eyes flashed open. You were fully curled up on the couch, tucked under the blanket, and Austin was fighting with a tangled string of tree lights on the floor before you.

“Shit, I’m so sorry…” You hastily apologized and sat up.  “How long was I asleep?”

He glanced at you before clearing his throat and looking back to the task before him. You glanced down at the gaping robe and quickly covered yourself, pulling the belt tight again.

“A couple. Don’t worry about it, I had some work to do. But now, now it’s time to decorate this tree. As long as I can get these untangled.” He muttered bitterly and you carefully slid to your knees on the floor across from him.

“Let me help.” You smiled softly and worked patiently at the various snags until all the lights were stretched out and ready to wrap the tree.

You looked over to it, smiling as it did indeed look perfectly ready to decorate.

“You picked a very nice one.” You carried the first string over to begin weaving the lights through the branches.

He beamed brightly and you were grateful that the tree bore the brunt of that blinding smile. For two people who had only met a few hours before, there was remarkably no sniping, and no heated comments as you worked together on a typically frustrating task. You were about halfway up the tree, and thus far your soundtrack had been Austin humming snippets of an assortment of holiday songs. The brief contact of his fingers against yours as you handed off the string of lights caused shivers of electricity to flash across your skin. You snuck glances at his profile while he was busily weaving the lights on his side of the tree, and felt, more than saw, him doing the same – the heat of his gaze tingling along your skin. He always looked away when you raised your head, however. That is until his eyes deliberately sought yours through the curtain of pine needles.

“May I ask you a question?” He asked solemnly.

His tone of voice was so serious it made you hesitate, uncertain if you were honestly awake enough to engage in a meaningful conversation while half-inserted into a tree. Straightening your back, you nodded, trying to convince yourself that there was little he could ask that would be truly catastrophic.

“Sure” You nodded, hoping your tone registered as light and care-free.

“Do you consider Die Hard to be a Christmas movie?” He continued in that serious tone but that spark of mischief was back in those sapphire eyes.

You stared at him, jaw slack, stunned. Leaning around the tree, trying to read if this was a joke of not, you saw his lips trembling with the effort not to smirk.

“I was fully prepared for you to ask me something….I don’t know, sensitive?!” You exclaimed with a guffaw of laughter.

“Some people find this a very sensitive topic!” He countered before losing control of his face and breaking out into giggles.

You could not help but join in, letting your head fall back as your laughter came from deep inside you, somehow erasing a large portion of your disgruntlement over the events of your no-good, terrible day. Eventually you were able to contain yourself and you cleared your throat before answering.

“Absolutely. It takes place during a Christmas party, features Christmas music, and Hans Gruber even says ‘ho ho ho’” You nodded emphatically.

“Ho, ho, ho” He grinned as he delivered a very convincing impersonation of Alan Rickman’s German accent.

After the laughter subsided you tilted your head.

“In that same vein….Is Hallelujah a Christmas song?” The lights were winding higher and it was a bit of a stretch for you….not for him though.

“Absolutely not.” He replied firmly, lips drawing into a thin line as he shook his head. “It’s literally about an intense and painful relationship. Nothing festive. Not even in the same orbit as the holidays.”

You nodded in agreement.

“This tree-decorating partnership can continue.” You grinned. “Though, I might just be support at this point.” You commented as he easily wrapped the lights all the way to the top before plugging the string into the star.

“Now we see how it looks!” He said excitedly, turning off the overhead light before plugging in the tree.

The glow of the multi-coloured lights was a comforting as a hug from each one of your holiday memories delivered directly to your heart.

“Incredible…” He sighed contentedly and you nodded, somewhat speechless.

You turned to look up at him, recalling that sense of heavy sadness he’d had when discussing his sanity back in the tree lot, and swallowed to see hit tanned face lit by both the tree and the firelight. He was a work of art come to life before your very eyes. The lines of worry had also eased across his features, leaving an adorable exuberance. You had a feeling that the duality of this man could easily obsess scholars for centuries…

So deep in your own thoughts you were, that you did not notice that his own eyes were tracing your features in turn, a contemplative expression falling over his face.

“Are you up to some more decorating?” He asked softly and you watched the way his lips caressed the words he spoke.

“Mmmmhm” You intoned, biting your lip at the hum of desire in your lower abdomen.

The glare of passing headlights beaming through the front window jarred you from your state and you cleared your throat, quickly kneeling to unpack the rest of the decorations from the box. You had already thrown caution to the wind and put yourself in a very vulnerable position with a total, albeit famous, stranger. There was no need to make it more complicated…despite the throb between your thighs.

“Definitely a coordinated person’s decorations…” You chuckled softly as you pulled eight boxes of matching Christmas ornaments in neutral shades.

Kneeling down across you he chuckled softly.

“Given how they decorated the rest of the house, this does not surprise me at all.” He hung a couple of them on his fingers before taking them to the tree to continue decorating.

Collecting your own assortment, you focused on the lower branches, being sure to reach in and hang some closer to the trunk to give the tree dimension. You did not notice the way the branches of the tree pulled at the robe, loosening it once more. Nor the way that it slipped off your shoulder as you knelt over the remaining boxes of ornaments, opening them up for ease of access. That is, until he knelt beside you, tracing the backs of his fingers across your shoulder and down your bicep. You shivered softly as his touch raised goosebumps in its wake.

“Mmmm sorry…” He murmured and leaned in to press an apologetic kiss to your skin with lips that felt just as soft as you had imagined. “Your skin just looks so soft…” He whispered, the tickle of his facial hair making you gasp raggedly.

As his eyes snapped to yours at that sound, a thrill of heat ran through you at their noticeably darker appearance. His lips stretched into something markedly predatory as he raised an eyebrow before slowly raising his eyes to the ceiling above you. You hesitated a moment before tilting your head back to follow his gaze, your entire body freezing at the sight of a swag of artificial mistletoe hanging from the light fixture. Leaning in, you felt his goatee tickle against your ear.

“Caught you…” He murmured.

The way his lips and warm breath caressed your skin made you tremble from head to toe. A choked-off sigh fell from his lips, and you turned your face towards his, noses brushing due to his proximity. Your eyes flicked up to his before falling back to his lips. You’d done the ‘right’ thing all damn day and it had led to an accidental double and a dead car. Now? Now you were going to do what you wanted.

“Better kiss me…don’t want any more bad luck…” You breathed shakily.

“Very true…” He whispered in return, hands rising to frame your face as he leaned in to close the last few inches of distance between you.

With a tilt of his head, he fit his lips firmly against yours. Your eyelids fluttered closed at the silky warmth of his mouth, your body turning towards his full as you reached up to cup his cheeks in return. He pulled back a little, looking over your face as your heavy breaths mingled in the space between you. You glanced up at his eyes briefly before pulling his lips back against yours, sighing happily. Licking at the seam of his lips, your tongue begged entrance.

He grunted happily and hungrily greeted your tongue with his, one hand traveling down your throat and over your shoulder to press against the flesh of your back beneath the robe, pulling you closer. You raised up on your knees to correct the height differential and raked your hands through his carefully tousled hair. You delighted in carding your hands through it, disordering it completely. A mutual need for air had your lips parting and you quickly pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses along his sharp jawline and down his neck to lap at the hollow of his throat.

With a soft growl, and eager arch of his neck, his hands moved to grasp the backs of your thighs and haul you up to straddle his lap. You whimpered against his damp skin and licked a wide stripe up along his adam’s apple back towards his lips. He caught your lips in a searing kiss, tongue pressing into your mouth eagerly, making you both hum happily at the delicious feeling of his wet muscle sliding against yours.

Wriggling a little, you encouraged the robe to gape open completely, allowing you to settle fully against the growing bulge in his jeans. His fingers slid up under the edges of the robe to grip at the skin of your hips, chest rumbling eagerly as you undulated against him. Pulling back, your chest heaved as you mewled at the feel of his teeth nibbling at your lower lip. Gripping at his shoulders, you ground against him with more intent, shivering as you felt his hands yanking at the knot in the robe’s sash. You dropped your hands to help him slide it completely from your body.

Supporting your spine with his forearm, he swept the ornament boxes to the side and lay you back on the plush rug. You stared up at him in awe as the glow of the fire caressed his features from behind you while the Christmas lights painted a riot of colour onto him from the side.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous…” You let the thoughts tumble from your lips without even trying to hold back.

You watched as he drank in your figure, only your underclothes obscuring his view, thumb and forefinger pinching and pulling at his lower lip.

“Bold words from a heavenly creature like yourself…” He whispered in a hushed sort of awe before covering your body with his, suckling your collarbone as his free hand traced along the planes of your chest and abdomen.

Arching into his touch needily, you began to gather the back of his t-shirt into your fists, pulling the hem higher before you tugged it up to his shoulders. He rose up briefly to shed the interfering cotton before quickly divesting you of your underclothes, baring you completely to his heated gaze.

“To think I got to unwrap you under my Christmas tree.” He grinned lopsidedly, eyes twinkling with that mischief as you rolled your own playfully at his seasonal corniness.

Chuckling to himself, he dragged his lips along your collarbone before kissing down your sternum. He briefly diverted to flick his tongue across each of your nipples before he continued his journey down your body. The muscles of your abdomen flinched at the tickle of his facial hair, making you chuckle breathlessly. His eyes, now nearly black as his pupils had devoured the blue of his irises, watched your face intently as he skipped over the desperate place that wanted his touch the most before pressing his lips to your right knee cap. His long fingers wrapped around the outside of your thighs and gently, yet insistently, parted your legs.

Sealing his lips around the tender flesh of your inner thigh, he sucked at your skin eagerly, drawing a shuddering gasp from beneath your breastbone.

“Austin…” You exhaled the extra oxygen that had brought into your lungs, fingers once again twining into his sandy locks.

He fairly purred against you before pulling back, licking his lips as he turned his head to treat your other thigh to the same, if only a little closer to where you really wanted his mouth. His fingers massaged your outer thighs as he sucked a series of deep purple marks higher and higher on your inner thighs until you were quivering with need.

“Please…” You keened and tugged on his hair as you felt his hot, damp exhales against the source of your pleasure, back arching and hips squirming as you ached for his mouth.

“Who am I to deny you…” He replied, voice roughened by desire before he, at last, lay his mouth against you.

Your anguished moan echoed through the room as you clenched your eyes shut tightly, chest heaving, breaths harsh. His hands wrapped around your hips, holding them down as they were bucking against his face needily. The familiar tingling began to blossom at the base of your spine, making your toes curl and heels dig into the rug.

“I’…I’m close…Austin!” You gasped out and then whimpered as he pulled his mouth away, eyes flashing open to watch him lick at his goatee-framed lips.

“Just wait right here…” He rasped; voice notably deeper.

He pressed a brief but fierce kiss to your lips before rising to his feet. You gnawed on your lower lip at the distinct outline of his cock in his jeans before he disappeared up the stairs. He was not gone a full minute before he returned with a bottle of lube at the telltale foil packet of a condom.  Pushing yourself up with unsteady arms, you reached out to take said items from him to free up his hands. Setting them aside you waited until he stretched out on the rug beside you before pushing him to his back, pining him by straddling his hips as you kissed him hungrily.

He groaned hungrily into kiss as you ground along the length of him through his jeans before sliding back onto his thighs and working his belt and fly open. Inserting your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you raised up to strip him entirely in one greedy motion, tossing the clothing aside as you settled back onto his thighs. Drinking in the sight of his needy cock, you picked up the bottle of lube, delighting in the way his length twitched as you drizzled it with the slick substance.

Your name fell from his lips needily as he gripped your thighs, hips straining towards you, raised from the rug. You swallowed thickly as you wrapped your hand around his girth, rutting against his thighs at the noise of pure sin that emanated from his throat. You could not get enough of the way expressions of pleasure flitted across his features as you traced his tip with your thumb before sliding your fist up and down the length of him torturously slow. His breathing was beginning to shallow, abdominal muscles trembling when you pulled your hand back. A taste of his own medicine while also ensuring he would last long enough to put that impressive cock inside you.

His eyes flashed open with a slight glare, but he sat up and grabbed the sides of your jaw, pulling you close for a sloppy kiss full of teeth and tongues. Groping blindly, you managed to locate a pillow on the couch and pulled it down to set it on the ground beside him, pulling back to stretch out on your front, hips propped up on said pillow as you looked at him meaningfully.

He did not need any further instruction, taking the lube in hand as he coated his fingers before easing them into your entrance with thoughtful patience.

“Fuck, look at you all needy and on offer for me…” He groaned and you pressed your forehead into the rug, shuddering with a groan of your own as he worked you open, preparing you for his sizeable length.

He pulled his fingers from you, and you canted your hips back, chasing the feeling as you glanced back at him over your shoulder. You watched with hooded eyes as he carefully rolled the protective latex over his cock, pumping it a few times indulgently, before stretching out over your body. Sinking into you slowly, inch by inch, you moan deeply at the stretch and fullness of him.

“Oh Austin!” You cried out, curling your fingers into rug.

“I know, oh fuck, I know” He panted, hands pressing into the backs of yours, fingers sliding between yours once he was seated inside you fully.

You felt his nose nuzzling against the nape of your neck, hips rocking against yours and, in turn, rocking the source of your pleasure into the pillow. You felt that same sucking pressure now against the back of your neck as he slowly slid out before quickly sliding back into you, leaving yet another mark on your body. Keeping your legs tightly together by squeezing them between his knees, he made sure you felt every single ridge and bulging vein of him as his rhythmic thrusts drove you both closer and closer toward release.

Each snap of his hips against yours had your body rocking forward, the rug applying delicious friction to your nipples, ripping pathetic whimpers and keens from you as your thighs between to quiver between his knees.

“You’re…going to…?” He panted against the damp mark on your neck, letting his teeth graze the sensitive skin.

“S’close.” You slurred in the plush fabric beneath you, arching back tightly against his torso.

“Oh yes…please…please…cum…for me….”He rambled, punctuating every few words with an insistent thrust of his hips that had your legs drumming against the floor as your release broke over you in waves of shimmering colour behind your eyelids and a nonsensical wail that ripped from your throat.

Pressing his face into the crook of your shoulder, his thrusts became erratic and sharper until he came with a hoarse cry of your name, rutting against you as he filled the condom. You could feel him trembling from head to toe above you, yet he still managed to carefully pull out and roll to the side before collapsing on the rug between you and the tree.

Resting your cheek against the rug, you drank in his debauched form, painted in ethereal, multicoloured light. Extracting the destroyed pillow from beneath you, you tossed it aside and shuffled to lay on your side next to him. Gently, you freed him from the condom, tying it closed and struggling to your feet to dispose of it in the washroom. Grabbing the blanket from the couch on your return, you cuddled up next to him, wrapping your still-trembling bodies in warmth.

He grinned at you warmly, kissing your forehead. You thought he might fall asleep, but instead he began asking you questions about your life in Cincinnati – job, friends, family, holiday traditions… You grinned a little as you were definitely doing this get-to-know-you thing in the wrong order, but you were happy to answer and ask him questions in kind. You ended up talking for hours in the low light, his fingers tracing the features of your face endlessly. Whenever his fingertips neared your lips, you would press a soft kiss to them. You did not notice who fell asleep first, though it was most likely you. The sounds of your phone ringing, however, jarred you both away in the deep, pre-dawn darkness. You struggled a little to answer it, blinking your brain into focus as a voice on the other end was saying something about your service call arriving soon…Groggily, you asked them to repeat the message before it clicked.

“Oh!” You exclaimed at the sudden return of cognitive function.

Looking down at the drowsy man beside you, his fingers stroking along your arm warmly, you swallowed and shook your head before remembering you needed to speak to communicate during a phone call.

“No longer needed, sorry I didn’t call sooner…no not at all…thank you…” You ended the call and turned to Austin as he sat up and kissed your shoulder warmly. “Bed?” You asked and he nodded quickly, helping you to your feet. You turned off the tree and the fireplace, before the pair of you headed up the stairs where you remained for the next twelve hours.

[heymeowmao]

2024.06.28 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325050344135590145

bgm: 唯一的回答 (No Matter), Men in Love OST

LYN: It’s lagging? If it’s lagging, close the window then come back in. It’ll probably be fixed, then. LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome! LYN: Long time no see. I haven’t streamed for a long time, right? Actually I am a little tired today, but I still wanted to come stream, more or less, and to give you some comfort. 

C: Have you recovered from your cold yet? LYN: I was over it a long time ago! I was sick a while ago, but I’m fine now. Is the nasal tone too heavy? I’m just a little tired, but it’s okay. I’ve come to play. LYN: I need to keep up my KPI, otherwise I won’t have streamed all month. That’s a little inexcusable. I still have to stream. Just because I’m an actor and singer now, doesn’t mean that I can give up on streaming. I should at least keep my quota. LYN: I’m afraid that when the time comes Weibo won’t give me my Livestream King title. I’ll ask them, “Why was I passed up for the title of Livestream King this year?” and they will tell me, “You didn’t stream for the month of June.” There’d be nothing I could say to contest. So, since this title is mine, no one else should think of taking it away from me. ~There will come a day when I take back what’s mine. That’s right- the 2024 Weibo Livestream King (award)!”

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 (I Only Wish to Face the Light), BYOL OST

C: Is it raining daily in Hengdian? LYN: Not every day, but it’s the season for it so it starts to pour every so often. Lately I’ve been filming when it’s pouring rain, though. It comes and goes and comes and goes. It’s quite humid. C: Is it hot? LYN: Of course it is. Shooting a guzhuang drama in the summer is asking for punishment. Hot is one thing, but it’s also stuffy and humid. If you’re standing outside in those clothes, I guarantee that not even a minute later you’ll have sweated through the under layers. It’s that hot.

C: Lao-da, I’m still watching KSTLB. LYN: Ok. I took some time while I was eating to take a look, because I always watch the variety shows that I’ve taken part in. LYN: Friends- don’t spoil it! I’m sure there are quite a few who are watching my stream that still haven’t watched the 9th episode yet. You can’t expose my identity! Wouldn’t that negatively influence everyone’s viewing experience? If they haven’t finished watching or haven’t started yet, but already know the result, that will influence their enjoyment. It won’t be “fresh”. If you aren’t watching (or reading the spoiler comments) it’s okay.

C: I’m listening to YOLO. LYN: Very nice. Listen to what you want to listen to.

C: Pick up another variety show for later. LYN: It should be a music variety. I have a music variety for later, so I will still have a show. It’s about time for me to pick up a music variety, so.. Let’s just wait. LYN: I feel like I don’t have enough experience anymore. When I first debuted I was young(er) and full of energy. I didn’t care about a lot of things. But now I feel like my body can’t keep up. I can’t keep up, mentally. My brain is working much slower than it used to. I keep wondering- did I get dumber after having contracted Covid? I keep trying to find excuses for myself. After I got Covid, I became stupider and it feels like I can never get enough sleep. It’s been a long time since I recovered from it, but I still feel slow. C: You’re getting older. LYN: Did you think that could hurt me? Let me tell you- I am hurt. /laughs/ No, I’m sure it has something to do with my age. Your Ning-ge- /coughs, old man mode activated/- Your Ning-ge is getting old. I’m not the young boy I used to be. I’m not the young man who debuted in 2018, full of youthful energy anymore.

- /singing along to his OST, but coughs from the effort/ LYN: I was originally planning to come here and sing some songs, but I’ve found that my voice is not in the best condition for it. 

C: Lao-da, make a heart if you see me. LYN: I can’t stand the people that come into my stream and try to exchange signals. My stream is for the general public, not for you alone. If you want to imagine that my stream is a one-on-one service, that’s okay, but don’t make me send you any signals. 

C: Ning-ge, will your drama air in the second half of the year? LYN: I don’t know. When it all comes down, I’m just an actor. The broadcast schedule of a drama is not something I can determine, and it’s not something I am worthy of knowing. It sounds a bit cruel, but it’s the truth. Often times the actors don’t even know if or when their drama will air. We might only be notified a few days in advance, and told to record some promo video to post. We don’t normally get much advance notice. So.. wait. LYN: There’s that methodology isn’t there: “Your only job is to keep working hard, and the rest is up to Heaven’s will.” Was that cheesy? But the logic is that you just keep on shooting dramas, and people are bound to like one of them. 

C: I’ve been in the midst of “archeology.” (looking up LYN’s past history) LYN: Ok. You can… but the workload is a lot. Jiayou. You work hard.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll see my test results the day after tomorrow. Can you wish me well? LYN: Of course, I hope that you will get a good score. I hope that your scores are high. Jiayou. I hope you can go to the school of your choice and that you can achieve everything you wanted. Jiayou. (x2)

C: Can you say something in English? LYN: OK. How is it? Didn’t that sound perfect? O-K. LYN: Very good. You are so beautiful. Very good.

C: What does that mutual stabbing in SJYM mean? LYN: What does it mean? It means that- what’s it to you? You can watch it when the drama airs. Are you expecting me to give you drama spoilers?? Ask, ask, ask. Do you think that’s something you should be asking?? You think I look forward to seeing a headline that reads, “LYN reveals the whole SYJM script online”?? How could I do that?! C: You’re so mean. LYN: Sorry. When people are tired and have low blood sugar they might tend to be more explosive. Excuse me. Allow me to reply to that question again. Someone asked, “What’s up with the three of you stabbing each other? Can you tell us about it?” My reply was perhaps a little abrasive, when I said, “What’s it to you?”. Let me reply properly, now… - /prepares/ LYN: What business is it of yours? :) LYN: Look, I’m asking with a smile. How gentle. LYN: What business is it of yours? If it doesn’t concern you, please don’t ask. C: Isn’t it the same??

C: Release more pictures. LYN: I rarely take selfies anymore, so there’s nothing in the storage to post. Let’s revisit this when I have an opportunity to save up some more photos.

C: Ning-ge, you were touched at the airport? LYN: Last time I went to Changsha to shoot for a show, and a fan at the airport touched me, a little. It’s okay. I’m a grown man, a small touch would not lose me a piece of meat. But my “it’s okay” does not mean “it’s okay to touch me”. That is, try your best not to make contact. No, not “try your best not to” but “don’t attempt it at all.” What I meant by “it’s okay” was that the incident has passed, so I’ll let bygones be bygones. I don’t need to find out who that person is, in order to attack them. LYN: I was thinking about it on the way home and I came to a conclusion. I really don’t like people touching me; I don���t think it’s very resepctful. But I was thinking that maybe when I walked in front of her something else floated by. My hand”some”ness. So this person smelled (?) my handsomeness and couldn’t help themselves. That’s what I was thinking when I was home and lying in bed. That’s what I was thinking, so I have forgiven that friend. Because it’s because of me, that they could not control themselves. So I’ll let it go, but give a strict reminder when I’m streaming. LYN: I’m joking, joking. But I hope that the next time we see each other, we can communicate with manners. Okay? Don’t touch me. If you touch me next time, I’ll report you. 

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C: Wish me a Happy Birthday! LYN: Many of you are celebrating your birthday today, yeah? Ok, then Happy- Let me record a voice message for you. Let me close the captions. You can turn on your screen capturing program now and record this video message. You can save it to your phone so that when you’re celebrating a birthday you can just play it. Today, for all of you in the stream, I will record my well wishes. I’ve already turned off the on-screen captions. Let me fix my hair- oh, it’s even uglier. /fixes it again/ Okay. Let’s go. LYN: Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. I’d like to wish the friend in front of me a Happy Birthday, and I hope you can be happy every day and that all goes smoothly. LYN: Was that okay, friends? C: No, it wasn’t personal enough. LYN: Is that so? Then, I’ll record all the other versions too. “Hello, I am LYN. I’d like to wish-” /moving his mouth/ I’ll make the shapes with my mouth and then you can go and dub it yourself. “- a Happy Birthday!” Okay? 3, 2, 1. Start! - /Birthday Wish Video Message V2 (fill in the name ver.)/ C: It was too fast! LYN: What do you mean “it was too fast”! Is your name four to five characters long? My mouth moved four times, that should be about enough! C: It went too fast, I could’t record it in time. LYN: There’s the playback. When we’re done you can go back to find it. - LYN: Friends, let me also record a wedding one for you to use when you get married, because many of you aren’t yet. Okay, ready? 3, 2, 1. Record. LYN: Hello everyone, I am Liu Yuning. I’d like to congratulate ZZZ and YYY on their wedding. I hope you are blessed with children soon and may you live a long and happy life together. LYN: Perfect. - LYN:  Look at that. Usually when you want a video like this from an artist, you have to rely on your connections to get you a chance but here I just give it to you directly. When you get married, you can play this clip from me and tell people, “This is my friend.”

C: Ning-ge, can you record one for my successful grand opening (of a business)? LYN: Friends, it’s like this. Many people will ask me for such video messages, but most of the time I don’t record one. Especially for businesses, I pretty much never agree to record one, because I don’t think that these messages should be used for marketing. A message for your grand opening would turn this into business. In that case, we’d need to discuss collaboration and a contract. LYN: We don’t do business messages here. But if it’s for something between friends like a birthday or wedding, that’s okay. If it’s for business then at the very least you should be transferring me 200rmb before I’ll record one for you.

C: Record a wake-up call. LYN: … I think I have, before? I think I went on some show and they asked me to record a wake-up call for my fans. I’ve done this before.

C: Then just record another one! I don’t want the old one, nor do I want to try to find it. LYN: How lazy you are! You just want everything handed to you. You want too many things.

C: Are we making video messages today? LYN: No, someone earlier is celebrating their birthday. I won’t joke anymore. LYN: I wish everyone present in my stream- if you’re celebrating a birthday today- that you can be happy every day. Also, you’re one year older now, so… learn something. LYN: I meant that in a good way!

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bgm: 陽光總在風雨後 (Sunshine After the Rain) > 热辣滚烫 (YOLO), YOLO Movie OST

C: Have you decided on your next drama? LYN: Why did you have to bring up such a sensitive topic? Well, it’s not that sensitive, because I have been seeing what people are posting so I did want to talk about this the next time I streamed. But then I couldn’t figure out how to say what I wanted to say. Sometimes when I need to say something relatively stricter, I always think about how I should say it. I want to make sure I’ve thought it through first. Usually when I touch upon a topic, I’ve already thought of about 70% of what I want to say. LYN: Sometimes people take my content out of context. Maybe if you spend ten minutes listening to me talk about the same topic, you wouldn’t misinterpret what I’m trying to say. But just one wrong word can trigger something which makes the whole thing sensitive. Do you get what I’m saying? You only focus on the few seconds, but don’t get the concept of what I’ve spent ten minutes to explain. It creates ambiguity. So that’s why… when I haven’t thought something through all the way I don’t particularly want to talk about it.

LYN: But since we’re on the topic, let me share my thoughts. What I’m saying now has nothing to do with other artists, and it is especially not directed anyone else’s fans. Right now, I am speaking to my own fans. In reference to what dramas I will pick up: I won’t say, “I’ll pick up what I want to, you don’t have to worry about it.” That’s not what I mean. But I do want to say that I am a 30+ year old grown adult- approaching 40. Every decision I make in my life in regards to my work has undergone careful thought or there are reasons behind my choices that you are unaware of and I cannot tell you. It might not be the ideal choice you want me to make, but they are choices that I’ve made after careful deliberation and reflection. Also, I’m sure that I would understand better than about 90% of you watching- how to be an artist. You have to admit that, right? I used to just be a street busker, who somehow went viral, established himself as a singer, and is now an actor. Right? I’m sure that I know better than 90% of you what things I should be doing and what dramas I should be accepting. Before, too, many of you wouldn’t acknowledge the decisions I made. When you look back you should realize that there must have been a reason I had made my decision. LYN: You need to trust me. Of course, there were times that my choices were a mistake- that’s a given. Rather than a “mistake”, they were the best choice I could make at the time. Looking back on those decisions now might leave you with regrets, but they were the best choice could have made at the time. They were choices I made after consideration of my position at the time. You just need to trust me. No one can tell what the results will be, but I have my reasons for making the decisions I do. That’s what I wanted to share with you.

LYN: Also, I won’t… how do I say this… I won’t just numbly do something without considering it first. I’m getting older, so there’s no way I would blindly do something. Every variety show I participate in, every song I release, my concert, and the dramas I accept- all decisions are made after making careful considerations. I won’t accept something just because it pays me more. Honestly, a few years ago when I was marketing, I made a lot more than I do now. But I don’t do that anymore. If there’s one thing you can trust me for, it’s that I will never make my decisions based on profit.

C: Got it, Ning-ge. I understand. Ning-ge is someone who “considers money as trash”! LYN: Are you trying to kill me? That’s anti-fan talk, right there. What artist in this world would dare to say that “money is no object to me.” Who dares?? Stop putting labels on me. LYN: I’ve said before, that I don’t think of money as money. I think of it as my life. If it’s supposed to be mine, then it’s mine. If it’s not mine to make, then so be it.

C: Ning-ge, you’re right. Looking back, 90% of your choices were the right one. LYN: They’re… not necessarily “right.” I just feel like… when I am looking at projects… I’ll filter it through a bunch of miscellaneous thoughts before I make my decision. When I receive a project, of course I am honored to have received notice of it in the first place. Secondly, I will look at it from different angles: 1. The Script, 2. The Production Company, 3. The Platform, 4. [???] - there’s no ranking to this!- 5. Director, 6. Actors. I will consider all these factors to look at the project comprehensively before making a decision. I don’t only look a the script, think it’s good, and make my decision. Or think, “Wow, this actor is a big name. I should collaborate with them.” or “This Director is amazing, I should accept.” I don’t only look at one factor, but look at the project collectively. 

C: You’re really talking in depth about it. LYN: I won’t anymore. It’s just something that I wanted to share. My decisions aren’t made in jest. There’s a reason behind the choice I make for the work I choose to do. I choose it for a reason. I hope that you can… respect- no, trust me. I don’t think I can ask for your respect, but at least trust me. Trust in my choices and we’ll be ok. LYN: Additionally, don’t tear down anyone I work with. This is something I keep repeating. Don’t fight about anyone I’ve worked or collaborated with. At this point I have a clear understanding of the tricks of “how to be an artist”, but I don’t want to use them and I don’t advise any of my fans to implement them either. I hope you can do that for me. Let’s just play among ourselves. C: What if other people come to start fights with us? LYN: Just… don’t fight back. This is the nature of fighting. You can… How do I say this? When you fight back, that’s when we start hurting each other. Do you get it? At first it’s a favorable condition, but once you start fighting back then you’re just mutually hurting one another. It’s that simple. LYN: I don’t know. Let’s not talk about such a sensitive topic anymore. LYN: Just block them. Pretend you didn’t see anything and block them. If you see something you don’t like, just mark the post as “not of interest” and leave it at that.

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LYN: Also, I see that a lot of you care a lot about me- a bit like my mother. 1. Like my mother, and 2. Like my manager. You’ll say, “Your wig, Ning-ge! The wig is too low! What’s wrong with your drama crew? Can’t they see that they’ve put your bangs too low?? If you keep on like this, it won’t do at all.” “You don’t respect Ning-ge! How could you put his wig on so low???” /sigh/ I’ve seen those posts, and that you’ve even tagged the director in them. I really don’t know where you learned this behavior. You can’t learn the good things, but you sure can pick up this type of thing quickly, one after another! You’re either attacking wardrobe saying, “The clothes you made for my idol don’t look good. They’re too ugly! What the hell is that?? What’s with the texture? Why is the color like tomatoes and eggs?” or “This wig is on too low, why don’t you just start it at his nose??” Actor-fans can’t learn one good thing, but they sure can learn the bad without missing a beat!

LYN: I want to tell you something, my friends. In regard to my wig being too low: you shouldn’t judge whether the wig is low or not just based on leaked photos. This thing (the placement of the wig) is based on where the camera is stationed. First of all, we’re not recording from an angle that looks like we’re filming sneakily. If you’re looking at it from where the paparazzi are- they’re either very high or very low, or in some weird place trying to catch a glimpse of us as we spend our days filming. The angles at which they are taking these pictures are quite strange and deceiving. DO YOU KNOW?? They aren’t shooting at the right angles because 1. since they’re not close enough the dimensions get skewed and 2. if I’m shooting at ground level and they’re 10m up, looking down at me- do you think the angle of that sneakily taken picture will come out well?? That’s why I want to say, that the high or lowness of my wig and whether it looks good or not depends solely on where the camera is. Because in the end it’s going to be recorded, edited, and turned into a drama for your viewing based on the location of the main camera.  LYN: Let me tell you about it from a different angle: you can’t tell with your eyes whether the wig is on high or low. You might think that the placement is just right when looking with your eyes, but through the monitor it’s higher or lower. Everything- low or high, makeup, wardrobe, color, texture- all of it is based on how well it appears on the monitor. Friends, that’s the way it is.

C: You’re getting worked up? LYN: No- this is not how I act when I’m agitated. This is a purposeful performance persona that I’m using to tell you about these things, so that you don’t think I’m actually angry about it. I’m executing this as a performance, to tell you about it so that you find it interesting. C: Do you have other personas? LYN: What type of persona do you want to see? 🙂

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LYN: Of course, there could be times where you sometimes pretend that you understand the visual of the historical drama wig. You could understand it, you could know, and you could THINK that you know. You can pose it as a question- “Do you think Ning-ge’s wig looks a little low?”- and share it with others, but don’t just directly start pointing fingers at the hair and makeup artists and demanding, “Do you know how to do your job??” This is their profession, so I’m sure that they know better. What I’m trying to say is: try not to create friction. In the end all of these elements are optimized to look best based on the final recording and how it looks in the monitor. Right? Otherwise why would the phrase “on camera” exist? If everything were made to be seen with your naked eyes or in a photo, then we wouldn’t be having this discussion. The standards are made for the main camera, okay? Listen to me.

C: The YNGS wig was low. LYN: Honestly, I’ll admit to that. That was a tiring drama to film- we had some very long days of shooting. Once you move or sweat, the seal releases and the wig starts moving. If we’re still in the middle of filming, all they can do is glue it back down so that you can continue. The more times they glue it back down again, the lower it becomes. If you put it too high to begin with, the whole thing will just slide off the back. It’s true that in YNGS, you’ll discover that some scenes are very good but others are low. It’s because we took many shots that day. Whenever the seal starts to open, we’ll pull and glue it back down. The more we pulled, the further down it ended up.

LYN: This time though, we’re quite strict about it. This time, there’s a standard of measurement for the positioning of my wig, too. That is, I’ll use my beads to measure the length. This is how I do it- I’ll take this strand, start at my hairline, and count the number between my hairline and the point of my nose. It’s twenty beads. I start to count… “1, 2, 3, …. 19, 20. 21?!” “No, this won’t do, laoshi. It needs to be twenty. Look.” - /puts the beads back to his hairline, counts, and tells them where it needs to be/ LYN: “This is the highest it should be. Okay, nice!”

LYN: That’s what I do, now. Why did I start to play with beads? It’s because it’s a string of beads- it may look like a stress relieving tool, but it has another function as a measuring tool for the height of my wig. C: Ning-ge, but what if you have a jingang bodhi today, but fengyan tomorrow? LYN: On a fengyan, it’s 18 beads. I have a standard of measurement for every strand I own. // Xinyue bodhis are 28 beads, because they’re smaller in size. LYN: I carry these beads around everyday, but it’s not a sure thing what I’ll use them for. So friends, you don’t have to worry. My wig is placed at the same height every day. You might think it’s high today, but by tomorrow you won’t think it’s low. [??] The logic is that I’ve used these beads to measure. I’m not kidding. C: I can’t believe people are buying this. LYN: I’m being serious. /unconvincingly/ I’m being serious about this, at least. This one is really true. C: /doesn’t believe him/ LYN: You think I’m bluffing and joking?? I’m being serious~!! FOR REAL!! LYN: I’m saying that we do measure it, but we don’t use the beads to do it. Friends, honestly, we use a measuring tape. That’s strict enough, isn’t it?

C: Ning-ge, when you measure it tomorrow take a picture as proof. LYN: …? You- /laughs/ There are two angles to this. 1. Why should I take a picture, just because you told me to? And 2. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you find the proof? How is it that you don’t believe I use a measuring tape, and you want me to prove that I do? I have to provide the evidence myself?? Fine then, when I’m finished with makeup tomorrow I’ll grab the measuring tape and snap a photo for you. 

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C: Can you talk about 618? LYN: They day that I sang? 618 is a Hunan Satellite TV event. Actually, when I’m already in a drama crew I will rarely accept invitations to events like these because I feel like it would split my attention. I’ll be focusing on shooting the drama when they want me to stop and do something else. What I mean by that is that I have limits- my mental capacity has a limit and I don’t really like to go out. But sometimes when I’ve been in the drama crew for too long, there are moments when I do want to get out and wander around and take a breather. Even if that’s going to the market and eating some crayfish. It’s still feels relaxing. You need that balance between work and rest. So I went to Changsha.

LYN: At the start they had asked me if I would do a set of songs. I asked which ones, and they mentioned three. I said, “Okay, but the problem is… these songs are all from last year or two years ago.” I was thinking that they’re making it seem as if I’m not prolific enough- that’s what I was thinking! They found my best OSTs from the previous years. But I was- :(. I CAN do it, since they’re songs that people have acknowledged, but the fact that I would be singing songs from previous years and not this one gives me the feeling like I haven’t done much this year. I feel like I am being eliminated by time. So I didn’t want to sing them, since it made it seem as if I hadn’t made any breakthroughs this year. But there’s YOLO- it counts as this year, right? and Offer- even though it’s from last year, but it’s special to me. 1. It was my first lead role and 2. I sang it. It means a lot to me. So we agreed on these two songs, and I went.

LYN: Six days before I was set to go, I started catching a cold. Those days I was wearing the armor, with the mask and hat- you know the look. We were shooting fight scenes, and after I would be soaked with sweat- you know how hot Hengdian was- and I would head straight for the air conditioning in that state. At first I thought I was fine- it just felt really great. When I was standing under the AC I would think, “OMG, this feels great~” I thought I was going to die, I couldn’t catch my breath, but the AC felt great. And then I got sick. I gave myself a cold. LYN: I felt terrible. Because normally I rarely get sick during the year- maybe only once or twice. But this time I got sick. If you look at the leaked photos, you can see me blowing my nose. I was blowing my nose or sneezing every other minute. I was in it. But the weird thing about this cold was that even after a week I still hadn’t recovered. Because I knew that a week later, I would have to attend this event. In my recollection, if you’re not well in three days, you be well in four. If you’re not well in four days, you should be more than fine by five. But it was seven days and I was not fine yet. It was getting to the deadline and I was dumbfounded. LYN: I couldn’t speak without sniffling, and I had this event to attend. As a singer I hold myself to a standard that I must sing live. If I went, I’d need to sing live, but I was sick. Also, it seems that audiences have higher standards for singers. Because of a certain variety show, now audiences have high standards for singers. Because they like to take the singer’s raw vocals and put it through some software to see how accurately they’re singing the notes. It’s not as if I was afraid of singing live- I like it. I enjoy singing live, and it’s when I’m recording that I don’t feel anything. But I was thinking, “I’m done for.” I- Liu Yuning- have spent the past month and a half shooting a drama and finally got the opportunity to go out and attend and event to show my face, take some nice pictures, and look handsome. To go on stage and sing some songs that myself and everyone else likes- my own songs- so that I can leave behind a wonderful stage and beautiful image. How nice is that? But I was sick.

LYN: I felt terrible. Deeply pained. What could I do?? What if the time came and my voice cracked? I would be trending at No.1 with the topic “LYN_SoundsTerrible”. It would be the end of me. What do you think would happen- do you think I would still be able to keep business in the OST industry? How was I going to keep getting jobs? Would I still be the “Bodyguard of Love”? I started thinking all sorts of things. I was terrified. I’d arrive in Changsha on 6/16 and perform on the 17th. I woke up at 8am on the 16th, went into makeup and shot a whole day of scenes. After that I headed straight for the airport, flew to Changsha, and went straight for rehearsal as soon as I landed. And then… - /preps/ LYN: Normally, everyone has to go rehearse. The first thing you do is to test the mic- you have to listen to the ration between the in-ears and vocals, because you’re singing live. It needs to be tested. I went like this- -- 奉上 (purposefully singing poorly every once in a while) LYN: That’s how I sounded during rehearsal. Because first, I was sick and second, I was up all night so my condition was the worst it could be. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control the high notes, but I had to pretend that I could handle it. I said, “Sorry, laoshi”- I used the mic to tell them- “Sorry”- I was giving myself an out- “Let me try again. Maybe I haven’t been on stage in too long. Let me try that again. /coughs/.” I purposefully coughed so the mic would pick it up. /coughs/ To secretly tell them that I was sick. “This is not reflective of LYN’s actual skill. Please don’t regret inviting me.” So the first rehearsal was done. The second time around director came and asked me if I wanted to do another run, and I said yes. “I want to try that again. /cough/.” Ok- LYN: The second time I only had five words in my head: pretend it’s the real performance. I had to do it seriously this time, because honestly the first time I wasn’t trying that hard. Because the purpose of it was to test the mic levels, to make sure the audience is hearing well and that my in-ears are working right. The second time around I have to give it my all. “Even if I ruin my voice, I will not crack this second time.” I’m sure that there are fans in the audience who spent money to get a seat. Every time I rehearse, there are always these fans who use alternative means to get through the back door. If they hear me sing badly, they’re going to stop being my fan. Usually, the people who can afford to spend money to get into the venue- even though as artists we do not condone this behavior of using improper means- it proves one thing: they either have money or have connections. They’re fans with a different type of skill. Of course, all of my fans are important to me! I’m just afraid that you’ll think, “Ning-ge sound like THIS live? Forget it. UNSTANNED!” So for the second time I was thinking that even if I ruin my voice tonight and I can’t speak tomorrow, I still have to sing properly. Let’s do it. -- 奉上 (take 2) LYN: /interrupts himself to say/ I think I was wearing this exactly, that day. This hat and these shades.

LYN: People need to find their confidence. After the first high note, I was much more relaxed for the rest of the song. After that I didn’t crack too terribly. But honestly, I wasn’t the best. I was thinking the next day I wouldn’t do ANYTHING. I would go home, shower, and just lie on the bed and have a good sleep. I needed to sing live for the performance, and I didn’t want to be laughed off the stage. It wasn’t worth it. I had enough ridicule as a singer five years ago. Maybe three years ago. But in the recent three years very few people have attacked me for being a singer. This is the truth. Five years ago, everyone just thought I was “internet famous” so when I was singing and called myself a singer they said, “What “singer”?? You’re just internet famous is all.” But in the recent three years very few people have questioned my identity as a singer. Because they’re rejecting my identity as an actor instead. So I don’t want to sing this song poorly and destroy my image as an actor- I mean- as a singer. Because I’m on the “actor” stage of my life now. If you take away my identity as a singer, the next thing they’ll be saying is, “LYN, you aren’t worthy to be a streamer.” They won’t even let me stream. They don’t think I’m worthy enough to be anything. 

LYN: I wasn’t quite satisfied with my performance that night, because I didn’t sing well. In Offer, the first two high notes of the chorus weren’t very stable and I was noticeably off-key for one of them. There were a few places I was outrageously off key. For YOLO, it was my first time singing it live. I really was nervous that day. Usually I’m not nervous when attending these types of events. But I was really nervous that day, because I knew that I wasn’t in the best condition. I knew that I didn’t sing the first song as stably as I could have. I didn’t sing it well. So then for the second song, I wanted to find that stability back. I tried. And then- I started the song too early. I started the song a beat too early. - /plays the song/ LYN: In this part (the vocalization) I was supposed to be melancholy. I was supposed to be walking towards the rear of the stage, because they had told me “Ning-ge. When you finish Offer, walk back towards the stage.” I was planning it all out. I would walk, and when it reached the end I would open up my arms as if I were embracing the light and embracing the future. I was thinking that since I didn’t sing my first song well enough, I should at least pull off the second. The arrangement started and it went to my head. - /playing it out again/ LYN: I jumped in too early. /holds a not to get back on beat/ I was dazed. I was thinking “It’s over.” I made myself look cool for nothing!! I messed up and it’s a flop. I entered the song too early. That’s such a basic thing, too!! So I was wondering how I could make up for the slip and pretended it was okay. In the later part of the verse I purposefully dragged it, to see if I could trick the viewers. Only the viewers watching live- I can’t trick anyone watching the playback later. /reenacts/ I forgot exactly what I did, but I was thinking that since I came in too early, I would drag out the end and it would look like that was all part of the plan. It would only work to trick anyone who was watching the performance at the time, but not for anyone watching the playback. 

C: Ning-ge, I thought you forgot the lyrics. LYN: I didn’t forget the lyrics. I was just too excited, that day.  Excited, nervous, and most importantly because I knew that my condition wasn’t the best because I was sick. I was really afraid of cracking, so I wasn’t relaxed. But from the moment I made my first mistake I started relaxing because I knew it couldn’t get any worse than it already was. From the moment I entered too early, it took me 3-5 seconds of nerves before I just let go completely and finished off the song.

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C: How was the fan support? LYN: It was nice. But maybe it’s because lately I’ve just been shooting in the crew and haven’t gone out much, but you shouted so loud you gave me tinnitus. I was thinking it was a but too loud. You all were shouting too fiercely. I usually finish up my business and come out side to greet you, right? But this time when I went out your shouting gave me tinnitus. When I got on my car I felt like my ears were ringing. 

C: Were you afraid? LYN: Afraid? What’s there to be afraid of? No, why would I be?? If I were walking along and you quietly came and held out a letter to me, then I would be afraid. You’re very welcoming, so there’s no need for me to be afraid. 

C: Ning-ge, you sang the wrong lyrics at 618. LYN: You just came in didn’t you, kid? Did you just arrive now? I already spent about 15 minutes talking about my experience at the 618 event. I talked about the whole process and what I was thinking. I already finished talking about it, and NOW you come in to tell me that I missed some lyrics?? You came late. You can watch the playback later.

C: When are you streaming until? LYN: I’ll stream for a while then leave because I’ve got a day of filming tomorrow and I have to go over my scenes. I have quite a lot of them in this drama. Every one of them is a challenge to shoot. It’s very complicated. But of course, I believe that- as with everything- as long as you put in enough hard work you will be rewarded. How much is unknown, but there is a reward. So that’s why even if it’s tiring to shoot this drama, I still think it’s okay. 

C: Ning-ge, when will Cicada Girl air? LYN: They’ve asked me to go do the voiceover recently. I don’t know where it is in the censorship process, but they’ve asked me to supplement the voiceover. From the actor’s perspective, I’ve been asked to redo lines that weren’t executed well or need to be changed. I really don’t have a lot of scenes in this drama. Maybe only 200 or so. It only took be a month and a half to finish all my scenes. I have very little scenes, and the whole show only has 24 episodes. All you need to do is watch and support it when it airs. LYN: A couple days ago when Ziwen-jie was doing her voiceover, she sent me a message. She asked me if I had done my part yet, and I told her that I received the notice but haven’t gone to the studio yet. She said, “It’s good! I almost laughed myself to death, it’s very amuding.” I replied, “Is that so? How is it- my acting?” She’s seeing the edited parts already, since she needs to do her lines, so I just asked her how my acting came out. “Is it okay?” She said, “Uh- okay. Let’s talk later! I need to finish my lines!” XD LYN: I’m joking. Don’t take that seriously. The content of my stream is a joke. Please don’t take it seriously. LYN: I asked her, “How’s my acting?” and she replied, “It was very good. I think it’s very amusing and it was funny when we were filming it, too.” She meant that it was fun even while we were shooting it. I let her go, since she needed to finish her lines. I’ll see it in any case, when I go to record mine.

C: I’m not a fan, I just happened to scroll by. LYN: It’s fate that brough you here. Everyone is a guest. With so many people in China, among the vast sea of people the fact that you and I are able to meet is fate. An encounter is centuries in the making, and millenium makes a marriage. In a decem-millenium (10,000 years) you scroll across my weibo. Think about how cruel fate is. You can only come across my weibo after 10,000 years! That’s fate. So, if you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. Thank you. - [t/n: the original quote is decade & century. 十年修得同船渡,百年修得共枕眠]

C: I’m your antifan. LYN: You’re here to turn yourself in? That’s great. Antifans are… Forget it- I feel like if I say the same thing I did the last time it won’t have any meaning. There’s a promise I made with my antifans in my last stream- you can go watch it. C: The 30-year promise. LYN: Right. I said in my last stream that as long as an antifan can continue to do so, within 30 years there will come a day where they realize they actually love me. Believe it. Let’s wait and see.

C: Lao-da, you’re trending. LYN: It’s not a hate-topic is it? I didn’t say anything! D: I didn’t say anything wrong today, did I? bgm: 世世 (Lifetime) - Legend of Shen Li OST LYN: Friends, you said- There’s a problem, which is- do you know why it’s taking me so long to look? Because I can’t find any trending topic. LYN: /is sad/  bgm: JVKE - Golden Hour LYN: /singing & “sobbing”/ LYN: See friends, people always say that LYN has ulterior motives. He’s so conniving- all of his projects are gained by drinking and chatting with people. Look at me now, though. I can even be tricked by netizens in my own stream. I’m someone who’s easily tricked by scammers. The phone scams can even trick me sometimes. So how could I have the brains to pull myself resources and work?? That’s why, you should never try to understand a person based on what others say about them. How should you understand them? From the heart. Use your heart to understand them. LYN: I had a line that went: “If you want to understand a person, don’t use your eyes.” No- the line went, “Let me tell you. If you really want to understand a person, don’t use your ears. Use your eyes.” … But I don’t think that’s accurate either. You should use your heart. Because what you see might not be the truth.

LYN: My shoulders are a little sore. I’m just exercising my back so I can relax the muscles. bgm: 万物盛开法则 (The Law of All Things in Bloom) - Zhang Dawei

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C: When will you release your album? LYN: I don’t want to discuss this topic. /sigh/ An album is really hard to make. It’s really not easy… Let’s not rush it! You ask me, “When will you release your album?” and I shall reply, “Let’s not rush it.” - [t/n: In Chinese, it rhymes: 专辑  (album - zhuānjí) & 着急 (worry/feel anxious - zháojí)]

C: You still won’t release it yet? LYN: I haven’t completed it yet. Honestly, a bunch of songs were done 2-3 years ago but I never released it because I don’t have enough. I want to release the album when I’ve collected 10 songs. I haven’t collected enough. When I listen to songs now, I kind of want to puke. I’m talking about the demos. There are just too many, and I can’t pick out which ones I like. It’s nothing to do with my style, it’s just that I’ve heard too many and now I’m numb. (recites lyrics to Jay Chou’s 世界末日 (End of the World))

C: If you don’t release one, it’ll be expired. LYN: You’re not wrong. /sigh/ I really want to let you hear some of it. Because once you do you’ll know that these songs are timeless. What I mean is that they are not bound to this era, so they won’t “expire.” C: Let’s hear some. LYN: There’s no way I would let you hear it. If I were to release it tomorrow or the day after, I would let you hear the starting rhythm or something. But you want me to play my album during my stream?! Then, who would buy it?

LYN: There’s someone in the chat who is constantly spamming what number topic I’m trending at. If you continue, and I find out you’re tricking me, I’m going to kick you out. The logic is that I can do without trending, I can just muddle my way through. But you can’t trick me. Okay? Don’t trick me. I don’t need to be popular, but I need you not to trick me.

C: Ning-ge, release a few more copies of your album, otherwise I’m afraid I won’t be able to get one. LYN: I don’t have any plans to make a physical one right now. My plan is to make a vinyl later, though like I did for my previous album. Just listening though, there’s no way you’ll need to pay- it’s going to be free. I made a promise to you before, that you would always get to listen to my music for free. My album will be free, so all you have to do is listen to it. If I do end up releasing a vinyl later, you can go buy that. But honestly, I’m not counting on it to make a profit. I don’t need it to. I haven’t reached that point. Otherwise- nevermind. I’m just not relying on these things to make money, is all. C: Can you not release a limited number of vinyls? LYN: We’ll see. It’s- if it’s not a limited number, then we have to predict how many to make in the first place. It’s actually not that much different from having a limit. 

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C: Lao-da, why won’t you talk to us at the airport? LYN: I did, didn’t I? “Move to the side.” (x3) /laughs/ Didn’t I tell you to move to the sides? I’m kidding! I was saying, “Don’t squeeze. Okay, I know. Don’t squeeze!!” I did talk to you! Wasn’t I very sincere? I was saying it from the heart: “Please, don’t squeeze.” How many other artists can talk to you sincerely like that, using their heart to tell you the truth? How many can do that? I can. I said, “Don’t squeeze anymore. D:” It was truly words from the heart. No airs- just a shout from my soul. “Stop squeezing!”

LYN: Because right now I’m spending most of my time in the drama crew. If I wrap up the day at 12a, and I have to go attend some even the next day, I still have to wake up early. I have to get into hair and makeup early, and shoot a day of scenes. It’s a lot different from how you would go about a company job. I shouldn’t say that. That’s just how /I/ work. If I am shooting some scenes tomorrow, then I have to do some homework the night before. I’ll go early to get my hair and makeup done, then start filming. You need to be focused on the drama during this part. After that, I turn in to wash up and then head for the airport. Why do I always use the VIP route when I fly places? It’s not because I have money or that I’m trying to show off. It’s that I really want to use that time to take a nap. Because as soon as I’m off the plane I need to go to rehearsals. I’ll wake up and start makeup at 12p the next day- very early. Because we need to snap the promo photos that you see my studio post. I’ll wake up two hours earlier to get get made up and shoot those photos so that they’re ready before the event. Later in the evening, it’s time for me to perform. Most of the time as soon as I’m done, I catch a flight back to Hengdian and it’ll land around 2-3 in the morning. I’ll be working again the next day.

LYN: I’m not saying this to tell you that I’m tired. I’m not afraid of being tired. I AM afraid of not being in the best condition I could be, and going to shoot my drama. This face of mine has to face the camera, and it was ugly enough to begin with. I’m already just average-looking. If I wake up the next day looking haggard and messing up my lines, then that would agonize me. (He doesn’t want to delay the filming because of his personal reasons.) LYN: That’s why I want to get a good rest on the road. I’ll sleep on the car, get to the airport drowsy, take a nap on the plane, then get off my flight and be ready to go to rehearsal. I’m giving myself a period of rest.

----- Break #1 LYN: I’m back. They (the neighbors) weren’t fighting. They were watching TXJ. - /thanking all the fans who make content for him: video edits, fanart, etc./ LYN: There are people who draw for me- I won’t comment on whether they draw well or not- it’s all good to me, because I can’t draw. But there are some people who are constantly making content. For example, right now. I’m streaming now but by the time I’ve finished they will have posted a drawing of me already. It doesn’t matter if it’s cartoon, sketch, manhua, or whatever style. Most of the time when I’m streaming, by the time I’m done that art is already posted. It’s nice. I just think that every drawing is- - /sets up his bgm > ​내 마음 들리나요 (Can you Hear My Heart)/ LYN: - is full of love. Every video is full of interest ans respect. So right now I’d like to thank every good friend who creates content for me. You’ve worked hard. LYN: What is this? When someone is willing to put in so much effort for you- what is that called? I think this feeling can only be described in two words: team spirit. 

C: Are you logging off now? LYN: You wish. On a night when I appear like this, how could I so easily let you go to sleep? Stay up!

C: Xiao Ning, being loved by so many people, you must move forward carrying a heavy burden. LYN: I suddenly realize that I have a long way to go in my future. I’m carrying so many people’s hopes… and disappointments. So I do not feel like I am alone. Right now, it’s possible that I am carrying many of my fans, or those of you who are watching whose wish was to become a celebrity’s dreams. Right now I represent all the hopes for the future you had when you were young. And I will continue to carry that heavy burden and move forward. C: I’m on the heavier side. LYN: And you still have the nerve to say so? That’s why it’s called “负重前行” (fu zhong qian xing), because I have to “扶” (fu = support) you in walking forward. C: Ning-ge, I am a 100+ kg soul. LYN: Your soul alone is 100+ kg? And what about your physical body? It’s okay. A girl like you is... stable.

C: When did you start? LYN: The stream? Around 9p. It’s been about an hour and a half now, let me look at my timer. I’ve been streaming for 1h, 43m. What’s wrong- you missed it, didn’t you? :) That’s why. If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I don’t always announce when I’m going to stream. Sometimes I do it when I wrap up work early. After today though… it’s probably going to be a while before I stream next. Because as of now I still owe: 5 OSTs and the supplemental voiceover for Cicada Girls. If I finish work early in the next weeks, that will be the work I have to make up for.

LYN: I forgot something earlier- That’s right. You are now listening to the drama Follow Your Heart (YXJ) OST opening theme song, called 心悠悠 (Longing Heart). Oh- excuse me- I misspoke! It’s not the opening theme- it’s the interlude! Sorry. Let me say that again. - /repeats himself, but correctly/ -- 心悠悠 (Longing Heart) - Follow Your Heart OST - /singing along, but not syncing up/ LYN: Friends, it’s like this- it’s not that I am unfamiliar with the song, but that in the recent year, this is the most mysterious OST I’ve sung. The three chorus verses are all different. I can’t remember which melody comes first. If there are detailed friends tuning in, you can focus on that- the three choruses are all different. So I’m a little confused. Let me re-familiarize myself.

C: Stop swaying. I’m dizzy. C: You’re singing this song with a strong sense of thievery. (KSTLB2 reference, bc he was rubbing his hands together) LYN: Friends- let me explain the “dizzy” thing later. First, if you don’t have any drama to watch lately you can check this one out. It’s called Follow Your Heart and there are some friends of mine in it. Including LYX-laoshi, who I’ve worked with (sung OSTs for his dramas) a few times already. The drama is pretty interesting; I’ve watched a bit. Wang Chengsi (ZY, SJYM) has also cameo-d in a couple episodes. I thought it was quite a good watch. So if you have some time you can go watch this new drama, okay? Please support it. LYN: Now let me tell you why you might have been a bit dizzy earlier. Some people just have that disposition- like carsickness. Some girls might have a weaker disposition, and when they’re on the subway or if they see something that is shaking too much they can get a sense of vertigo. But let me teach you what to do when I’m singing. - C: Once I get carsick, I’m vomiting enough to fill the car. LYN: … How much you vomit doesn’t have to do with being dizzy, but with how much you’ve eaten. If you don’t eat for a day, I’m sure you won’t have enough vomit to fill the car. It’d just be a puddle, probably. You must have eaten too much and thrown up as a result. That’s not to do with carsickness. Just eat less and you won’t vomit enough to fill the car. Maybe just half the car. Also, I don’t think you’re throwing up at just the slightest jiggle or sway of the car, right? Just eat a little less. LYN: Are you that friend from earlier who had a soul that was 100+ kg? - LYN: Anyway, what I wanted to say was- I’ll sing another song in a bit to let you test it- but sway along! If you don’t trust me, then try. Hold your phone and sway as you watch. You won’t be dizzy. If you don’t trust me then just try it. You have to follow my rhythm and sway with me. Then you won’t feel sick. Okay? And now I will sing. Let me see which song will make you move.

- /vocal fry/ LYN: Suddenly, a vocal fry register. (气泡音 - qìpào yīn) * [Vocal fry is the lowest register (tone) of your voice characterized by its deep, creaky, breathy sound] LYN: What do you mean~ I should sing a song now~ How about~~~ LYN: /laughs/ I saw a comment once that read, “What’s so good about LYN’s streams? One time I happened to click in and found he was speaking with the vocal fry register. How greasy!” LYN: Don’t you think… How could this be greasy? Don’t you think- it sounds very nice?

LYN: Someone wants to hear “一个人的北京.” I won’t be singing that. What should I sing… how about… I haven’t actually found one. C: 传承 (Inheritance) LYN: I’m really just afraid of cracking, because I know I’m not in the best condition. I don’t want it to influence any future work. I still have five OSTs I haven’t recorded yet. What if a producer or director is watching my stream and they watch me crack while singing a song and then think, “We don’t need LYN anymore.” “We don’t want you to sing this song anymore. If there’s a chance to work together next time, we’ll talk.” It might influence my future development and income. 

LYN: There’s a song called… what’s “等风来”? Oh, the song is called “天空之外” (Beyond the Sky), right? I heard this song recently, and I quite liked it. // Is there an arrangement for the male key? No? -- 天空之外 (Beyond the Sky) - Gank Your Heart OST LYN: Songs are so hard to find! Why is it so complicated. Hold on, let me check my “arrangement warehouse.” 

LYN: Oh, this I haven’t sung in a long time! -- 乞丐 (Beggar) LYN: Hold on- it’s been a long time since I last sang this and I’ve forgotten how. Sorry. I always sing this at my concert, though. C: It lagged. LYN: It didn’t lag, the mic broke. There was a small problem with it. It’s okay. // It’s not broken. // Oh, you lagged? What a coincidence. The microphone forgot the lyrics, lol.

LYN: Oh, 熬夜 (Stay Up All Night)... I will sing this song for everyone tuning in, and you who are currently staying up tonight. - /missed the timing to start singing/ LYN: What do you think? You, who are currently staying up at night- this song 熬夜 is for you. Let’s stay up together. I don’t know how the sound equipment is working tonight, but let’s just sing. If you start to feel dizzy, remember to sway with me. -- 熬夜 (Stay Up All Night) LYN: That’s about enough. I don’t have any strength left. Thank you. LYN: I’ll open another bottle of water. It feels a bit hoarse. Excuse me, sorry. 

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bgm: 莫问前程 (Don’t Ask About the Future) - White Cat Legend OST LYN: I won’t sing anymore, let’s just chat. I don’t have enough strength left.

C: Ning-ge, why hasn’t Daimi been to work for four days? LYN: She’s been in Hangzhou for a few days. We’re had her get a check-up, because she hasn’t been feeling well lately. But we found out it was nothing big, so she came back. Today she was at work on time.

C: Is she pregnant? LYN: No!

LYN: /to Daimi/ Daimi! Come here. Your fans want to see you. LYN: ?! You stepped on my headphones, hey! [t/n: OMG, I almost thought he said something… different. >.>] LYN: Hold on. Let me find some appropriate bgm for you. Alright? Wait a bit. bgm: Neon Sweetheart LYN: Okay. Say hello to all the brothers, sisters, uncles and aunties out there. They’ve been thinking of you the whole time.

C: Daimi plays with beads, too? LYN: No, I put it on her so she can play it for me. Because her oils and fur are suited for polishing them. Also, as an artist you have to have something special, right? You’ve seen dogs sit and dance, but have you ever seen a dog polishing beads? You haven’t right? So if we want to make some space for ourselves in this vast world, you have to be unique. I’m sure no one’s ever seen a dog polishing beads. So I’ve given her this image.

LYN: Look- she’s gotten so chubby. I’m just having her stand on my leg for a big, but she already can’t keep herself up. She’s panting. Listen- She’s so fat she can’t even sit!

LYN: I’m going to recite the spell now. Friends, you can observe how her modd changes. How- about- a sausage? C: There’s no reaction. LYN: No- can’t you see that she keeps licking her lips?? She’s already imagining what it will be like when she eats it. Let’s go. Hold on a sec while I get her one.

C: Ning-ge, I want to watch you feed her. LYN: My dog can’t do much else, but if you give her a whole sausage she can peel it herself. I don’t need to serve her. C: Show us. LYN: What, you even want a performance? Hold on, friends. - /shows off all the peels/ LYN: She ate all of those.

C: Ning-ge, are you sure you didn’t eat them? LYN: I… wouldn’t. Because this is a sausage for pets.

C: She didn’t peel it today? LYN: No- she’s over in her house. When she’s done eating it she’ll leave the peel there. That was probably two or three day’s worth. She eats 5-6 sticks in a day. LYN: Every morning she goes to the makeup room- she’s in a rush every morning. As soon as I wake up and start washing my face, she’s already waiting by the door. I’m washing my face, and she’s already waiting to go. She plans on just running out and onto the elevator as soon as I open the door. When we’re at the makeup room, the first thing my makeup artist does is give her a sausage. She won’t eat this first one, but hide it instead; because I have my own room. Then she’ll go to the bigger makeup room and do her rounds. She’ll come back with an egg and some bread. Then come back and eat them all together. That’s her breakfast. LYN: Most of the time she won’t eat that first sausage yet, and go fishing for bread. Sometimes there’s an egg, and she’ll eat that on the spot. If there’s no egg, she’ll bring some bread back. Then she’ll eat them together.

-----

- /smacks a mosquito and shows it off/

C: Ning-ge, the Shanghai subgroup of fans is meeting, will you come? LYN: I won’t be attending, thanks. You eat and play amongst yourselves. I know a lot of locations are gathering for a group dinner. It’s quite fun and happy to be together. I won’t be going because I don’t want to have to pay for the meal. If I had the money, I could just buy something to eat at home. But you all have fun. I won’t be going.  LYN: Jilin is also gathering, is that right? Dalian as well? Nice, have fun together. 

C: Ning-ge, if you come you’ll eat for free. LYN: For example, there’s a place where my fans are gathering and they’ve bought out a restaurant to hang out. If you invite me and I go, then that means I don’t have to pay for my share, is that it? Erm… I’m not someone who’s greedy to take advantage of such situations. The reason I’m not going is really because I don’t want to take advantage, not because I don’t want to go. I really do want to go, but I don’t want to take advantage. So I won’t be going.

C: Then come to foot the bill. LYN: I could. That’s no problem. You all know that Ning-ge is not stingy when it comes to these things. I treat my fans well. But I won’t be going. I don’t even want to go when it’s a free meal, let alone go when I have to pay the bill. What do you think I am? Many friends call me “Ning-bao” don’t they? Now you want me to go make payments- do you think I’m Alipay (zhifubao)? 

C Ning-ge, where’s your team spirit?? LYN: /laughs/ I could chat about “team spirit” with you on a normal basis but once it comes to fan-gatherings this “team spirit” disappears. Is that what you mean to say?? Are you provoking me? You’re calling me out?! LYN: This trick is called “moral kidnapping”. It’s okay- when it’s about treating fans to meals I’ve already given up on my morals.

C: You sure are stingy. LYN: This isn’t being stingy. This has nothing to do with money. It’s my life on the line. LOL, no. Let’s make an example: I go to any random fan-gathering, let’s say Beijing. They say, “Ning-ge, we’re having a fan-gathering!” and I go, “You’re meeting up? Okay- the bill’s on me. Ning-ge will treat you.” At this time, Shenyang’s group is calling it quits. “What’s the meaning of this, Ning-ge? Fans in Beijing are fans, but us in Shenyang aren’t?” So I say, “Okay. Liu-gongzi will pay the tab in Shenyang.“ After that, the Dandong fans are calling it quits. If it continues on like that, it would be fairer for everyone if I don’t pay for anyone. You all can pick up your own tabs. 

LYN: Sometimes it’s hard to be fair, but I’m trying hard to keep it even. One time I wanted to do something fun for my stream- I was thinking I could connect with fans. Because I needed content, but also because I thought I had the ability to communicate. Even if the person I connected with happened to be an antifan. If I randomly pick a user today to connect with, and they end up being an antifan. If they come in cursing, then I would kick them out immediately. But if they came in wanting to debate, I have the confidence I would be able the go for half an hour (or longer) and ultimately turn them into my fan. I’m confident I can do that. LYN: The problem is that I’ve thought about connecting with fans, but then you all complain and tell me not to. Why? Because I’m connecting with someone that’s not you. Now they’re unhappy. For example, I’ll connect with Fan A, and now Fan B is upset. “Lao-da, I’m telling you. I bought four cases of yogurt because of you. What? Is that not enough to be a fan?” Fan C didn’t get to connect either, so they say, “Yeah, Lao-da. I bought a Pomellato necklace. What is this, favoritism? Okay. I won’t be buying any more.” There’s this sense of rebellion, so I want to be fair: I won’t connect with anyone. If there comes a day when this sense of revolt can lessen, then I would select a few lucky guests and chat with them during my streams. LYN: We can chat about anything like if you need life advice, or if you have any opinions/suggestions that I should take, or your thoughts. We really can talk about it. It could be fun!

LYN: I think even with streaming or- if you are an artist- not yet a celebrity, but at least someone in this industry: singer, actor, it doesn’t matter- I always think that you should always love what you do. I even remade my streaming room- the next time I stream, if it’s all set up, you’ll see how serious I am about streaming. There’ll be new room. But I want to make the content fun as well. So I think of connecting because interaction is the charm of livestreaming. I think I can do it. C: I want to interact. LYN: See? There’s someone who’s posted that they want to interact. At this time, they are very excited to be chosen to interact with. But if I don’t choose them, do you think that they would be extremely disappointed? Would they be sad? Because of this, would they stop being my fan and start destroying me instead? In the entertainment circle there’s a methodology: it doesn’t matter which artist, if they start doing well the fans wil stop being fans and start tearing you down instead. Let me tell you, there is not one artist in this circle who isn’t afraid of this happening to them. It doesn’t matter how big of a celebrity you are, or whether you’re an actor or singer. Everyone is afraid of this technique. 

LYN: Let’s not talk about anyone else but use myself as an example. When I am shooting a drama, there are people taking sneaky pictures of me and selling them online. Let’s say they’re sold at 10rmb per photo, and someone spends 100rmb to buy ten photos. Let’s say it’s 2024.06.28- and they like LYN. When they’re looking at the photos it’s under the filter of beng a fan. They can PS or use some filter to make the photos look nice and pretty. White and shining. Young and handsome. They post those edited photos online or onto some short video platform. Okay. LYN: Let’s say on 06.29- or- today, I am looking for five fans to connect with on my stream, and I do not end up choosing the girl who bought ten photos of me. She gets angry. “I want to connect with LYN, because I have so much I want to say to him!” Of the five fans I choose, I don’t choose her. Tomorrow, on 06.29, there will be 10 raw (unedited) photos released. Maybe super unedited. She’ll put the edited and unedited photos next to each other and post, “This is the LYN you all know.” It’s not worth it. C: The unedited photos also look good! LYN: That’s why I’m saying, you have the fan-goggles on. Let me tell you something- in this industry there is not one artist who doesn’t have ugly photos. Name one. Let’s say you have a name in your head, and you’re thinking, “This person is so good-looking!” then you search this person’s name with “___ ugly photo” at the end. See what the results are. You don’t need to type people’s names into my chat! Just think of a name and search it yourself. There’s not one person who doesn’t have them. That’s why when fans tell me that they think I’m handsome I want to reply that it’s because of the fan-goggles. I’m not handsome. I’m afraid, too. So let’s not connect next time. 

LYN: I hope, though, that those of you who are watching my stream right now- most of you, about 80% are my fans. 80% of you are my fans, so starting today could we swear a sacred oath (歃血为盟 - smear the lips with blood when taking an oath)? If one day you stop being my fan, could you not destroy me on your way out? Can you promise me that? Let’s sign an agreement today June 28, 2024, that one day if you stop being my fan you won’t step on me on the way out. Can you do that? You can leave, but not at my expense. Can you? LYN: I have blood on my hand- it’s mosquito blood. The scared oath. I’ve got the blood. LYN: That’s the first thing, not to step on me on your way out. The second is, many of you probably go online to buy leaked photos. If one day you stop being my fan, could you format your storage disk? Format your storage disk for me. Can you do it? Promise me. Thank you. You can do it. LYN: It’s a gentleman’s agreement.

C: Ning-ge, where can I buy leaked news and photos? LYN: The fact that you’re even asking me this question now means that you should never go to buy them. I see you typing those words from through the monitor and can see your innocent eyes! If you go outside, you’re likely to get scammed by others!! Don’t go online trying to buy these things and end up getting scammed! I can tell how innocent you are from the fact that you’ve typed that questions. Your eyes still shine with light and you can see the word “INNOCENT” in them. Don’t even think about it. If you’re scrolling your phone and come across what others have bought and posted, you can look. But don’t even think about purchasing them for yourself. You don’t need to spend your own money for it. There’s no need.

C: Ning-ge, if I had bad photos of you I wouldn’t erase them. I’ll sell them to you. LYN: That’s a little bit illegal. Are you a criminal? Are you blackmailing me?? “Ning-ge, I have a BUNCH of ugly photos of you. Send me 200rmb immediately or I’ll post them all online.”

C: Ning-ge, will you still stream in ten years? LYN: I don’t think I would still be acting in ten years, but I’m sure that in ten years I will still be streaming. Whether as an actor or a singer, there will always come the possibility that you will be struck out or replaced over time. But streaming is something that I personally want to do. It is not influenced by outside factors. As long as you give me a platform, as long as Weibo allows me to stream, I will keep streaming. That’s all there is to it. I only need a platform and I will stream willingly. But for acting, it’s other people who find me to act- it’s passive. 

C: Do a few magazine shoots. LYN: Magazines… I don’t have the time to do them. I also think… I’m too ugly and I’m not worthy to be in magazines. [t/n: He’s also said before that he doesn’t want people to pay for something like a MAGAZINE, just because he’s in it. He wants people to spend money on things that can be of use.]

C: Do you want to be Weibo Livestream King for 10 consecutive years?? LYN: Livestream King is a great honor to me. I’ll try hard to make it happen. I’ll do my best. C: Start a live-streaming industry. LYN: No, I should just do my own stream well. I can’t be involved in any sort of industry.

C: Ning-ge, in ten years become a streaming-type yxh. LYN: …? For what?? I already said that when I was 60- was it 60 or 70? I forgot.- that I would share everything I’ve encountered in this entertainment industry with you. LYN: Was it 60? Then when I’m 60.

C: Lao-da, could I take your raw photos and trade them for an autographed one? LYN: … LYN: “Ning-ge, in this card I have 10 unedited photos of you. Could I trade them for a personalized autographed photo? Okay? I hope that you can write: “___ is the most beautiful.”” LYN: The way they’ve done this has avoided punishment under law. Because it’s true that they’re not doing it for profit or anything, not that I understand it very much. That is- I don’t think it’s worth suing you over… But this underhanded tactic does make me a little uncomfortable. LYN: But let me tell you- everyone’s words can create an image of your face. Through the words you’ve typed, I can imagine your face and the tone of your voice. For example, for the person earlier I’ve already described their face: two big round eyes, full of clarity. “Ning-ge, where can I buy leaked news and photos?” They were like that- I’m sure they’re as I imitated just now. Now this person, I’m sure, looks like this: “Xiao Ning-ah.. If I were to have your unedited photos and I wanted to exchange them for a personalized autograph… Can I?” They must be like that! Cunning and wicked. Friends, I’m sure they’re like that. How terrifying! LYN: The friend who asked this question, you can go look in the mirror. Tell me I didn’t look just like you.

C: Ning-ge, you’re on my glasses case and my teacher saw it. Should I cower? LYN: Through this comment, this friend has already got me figuring out what they look like and how they speak. /repeats the question/ You must look like this- /puts on a pair of round frames and makes himself a little… nerdy looking and innocent, I guess/. Go look in the mirror, do you look like this? It’s… innocent, but sincere. Sincere, but also a little cute and naive. That’s you. Go look in the mirror.

C: Ning-ge, why don’t you go on Call Me by Fire? LYN: /laughs/ CMBF is… is that the sisters or the brothers? The brothers, right? The thing is, a while ago Yizhe was (going to be) on it. I think he was on it. That’s what I heard- or rather, he had sent me a message. If I call him Yizhe, you might not know- it’s Qian Zhao (YNGS). If I am NYZ, he is QZ. You get it if I put it that way, right? So, QZ went to attend CMBF, I think. He wanted me to record a short video for him, to cheer him on. I asked him, “What am I supposed to say?” and he said, “Just cheer me on. We’re friends, right? So you can say, “I heard WYZ is going to be on this show, and I hope he gets a good ranking.” It’s just like supporting you for the gaokao. LYN: But I was thinking- If I’m going to record a message for him, I want to be different from the others. I need to record something like, “Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. In CMBF, I hope my good friend Yizhe can show off his charms, get a good ranking, and debut in the final group!” That’s standard, right? But I wanted to be different. I wanted to record something that would make people remember WYZ and remember LYN. Maybe even hate me. Because I also have a good friend called Fang Yilun- that is, Yu Shisan (YNGS). I’m saying it this way so you can better put a face to the name. YSS. He was on CMBF last year (actually, 2022), but he only went for one round. (一轮 - yī lún). So… his name was not very auspicious. Fang Yilun, who was only on the show for one round (yī lún). I was thinking of recording one for WYZ, “Hello, everyone. I am Liu Yuning. I’m YZ’s friend and heard he would be attending CMBF. We have a good friend in common, FYL, but he came back after the first round. Therefore, since your name is Wang Yizhe, you- might only be there for one part.” But I was thinking about it and came to the conclusion that wasn’t quite appropriate. One’s Yilun and the other’s Yizhe… that’s not good! So later I thought this joke wouldn’t fly. My friends would have a falling out! So then I just recorded a standard one for him. LYN: I just shouldn’t have thought in that direction in the first place. I don’t know how the competition is going, and I don’t dare to ask him. Of course, I don’t mean to belittle him! When I was on Singer 2019, I came back after one round too, didn’t I. That’s why I’m called… Liu Yining (一宁). I went and very obediently, very serenely (宁静) came back. I went, kept introducing myself- “I am Liu Yining” and came back. Only one round. It’s the same. We’re all the same. Our names just aren’t auspicious. We aren’t suited for competitions.

LYN: Alright friends, it’s about time. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you enjoyed yourself. Let’s meet again in the next stream! If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. I hope we can meet again in the next stream. LYN: I’ll go wash up quickly and review my scenes for tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone!

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e7 rewatch notes

Forks. Here we go...

Enters with Syd doing menu R&D with Coach K's interview layered on.

I'm going to be honest and say I hate inspirational sports narratives - years ago my husband used to work for a huge sports conglomerate, and I'm still finding and disposing of "TEAMS GO HARD - THERE ARE NO APOLOGIES" motivational-type swag to this day.

That being said, the interview is highly relative to Syd, foreshadows Richie's arc apex, Carmy's choice/fall/probable redemption, the teams learning curves, the restaurant's impending ebb and flow, so I've transcribed it for posterity:

So as you've been coaching over the years, what would you say are the most important lessons of leadership that you've learned?

The very first thing is that in order to get better you change limits. And when you change limits, you're going to look bad and you're going to fail. And at West Point I learned that failure was never a destination. In other words, when you are knocked back, you know, figure out why, then change.

The other thing is that you're not going to get there alone. You know, be on a team. You know, surround yourself with good people and learn how to listen. You're not going to learn with you just talking. And when you do talk, converse - don't make excuses. Figure out the solution. And you don't have to figure it out yourself.

I always wanted to be part of a team and obviously I wanted to lead that team. You know, what an interesting life it is to be a leader.

"That's something" Syd murmurs. The whole talk is the glue that holds her to RIchie and co. without Carmy in e10.

I do appreciate how they portray (with the aid of spooky music) Richie's wake-up, the city of Chicago, and the modernist restaurant as bathed in grey/blue hues and basically haunted at the jump. Richie as a shell, an angry ghost, terrified of his perceived lack of agency, his irrelevance, and whatever future fate Carmy has in store for him.'

"Chef Terry is always watching" contrasted with the initial starkness of "Every Second Counts" without context - so much has already been reported on this episode re: ritual/purpose, but I just relish watching Richie be in jail the first portion of this episode.

And don't worry, I'm not going to make any "OMG a fork! Remember when...." observations, this isn't the Reddit sub.

I do like the use of David Byrne's "Glass, Concrete & Stone" as Richie tucks into day two and three of his stage.

"Now, I'm wakin' at the crack of dawn, to send a little money home, from here to the moon...."

I mean, his conscious mind is screaming "I have to do this so Carmy will pay me", but some part of his lizard brain has to be cluing in at this point that this whole exercise/path might lead to a more lucrative life - so he can support the family he doesn't possess anymore.

Carmy, Syd, Tina, Marcus and Natalie are thrown into a restaurant montage overlapping RIchie's scene while the song continues to play out - it doesn't play in this lyrical order, so you know every note is intentionally directed at one/all:

Lookin' at happiness

Keepin' my flavor fresh

Nobody knows I guess

How far I'll go, I know

So I'm leavin' at Six O' Clock

Meet in a parkin' lot

Harriet Hendershot

Sunglasses on, she waits by this

Glass and concrete and stone

It is just a house, not a home.

And my head is fifty feet high

Let my body and soul be my guide

There's too many dual meanings /applications for these lyrics to even sift through here. Bravo, Christopher Storer.

In my last recap of Fishes, I had said a bit about how all the men in the Berzatto orbit can be ground down to a pulp by men they perceive as an authority/threat.

Garrett represents a beta-persona to Richie, someone he could easily go off on (with a "G or R" comment casually thrown in) when he starts lecturing him in the alley about his commitment/work ethic, but Garrett is so assured of his work, and more importantly assured of his mother-fucking purpose.

The obvious layer of this is that Richie's seeking his purpose, so it's a crystalizing moment. The secondary layer is that it reveals the kryptonite of the Berzatto(ish) men - people who have and are assured by their purpose, and who lead with that instead of myths and bluster.

This explains Carmy's early "othering" by the family, for better and for worse - he's not assured of that purpose because of all his enmeshment and hang-ups, but they caught a whiff of what it could lead to, and it brews a curiosity, mocking and quiet disdain.

It also explains Richie's bonkers hatred of Syd in season 1 (reciprocated in kind), as Sydney comes rushing out of the gate with assurance and purpose. It also explains the immediate tune-up their relationship undergoes as soon as Richie wanders back to The Bear. Same goes for Richie and Natalie's repair/sudden appreciation for one another by e8.

Re: the teachers who had saved up for a fancy dinner at the pre-service meeting:

"I want to go above and beyond tonight. Every supplement and caviar, a tour of the kitchen, a champagne tour in the gallery as well. And, guys, we're not going to let these people spend a dollar. Do not drop a check. I wanna blow their fuckin' minds."

I will cop to shedding a happy tear the first time I saw this. I really hope it changed some mid-American perspectives on what service work and hospitality can mean (across the board, but especially in its upper echelons), by what metrics they assess it, how they value the people who work purposefully to take care of them. So good! I'm glad it hit Richie like a ton of bricks.

It looks like Tiff's been crying before she calls Richie in preparation. It's really sweet that Richie's first thought is obviously a worry about her health or something when she says she needs to tell him something, followed quickly by relief. I didn't question that there wasn't real love there, but it's nice to see it linger between the two of them in the aftermath....Ebon and GIllian both played this scene so sincerely.

As he re-enters the kitchen, Richie is watching the careful food prep and the FOH interactions with such a childlike intensity/wonder. I didn't realize that the "rebirth of Richie" happened in a day, not a week (which I felt was too fast already) but I actually find myself resenting it less at this clip. Basically all the things he held dear (being Van Halen, potential reconciliation with Tiff, the dishonesty of white collar life and dining/fraud Carmy) were obliterated in a single day, but a life that requires "someone who's good with people" has presented itself in tandem. (I...god....its a fork in the fucking road, ok? ugh.)

Just taking a beat to marvel over the Chicago cinematography in this episode. My God, the colors they were able to coax out of trains and the skyline at night, it's truly magnificent.

Some reddit gals were pointing out that Chef Jess' gold 'X' earrings are the exact same as Claire's, which indicated that she's marked as a love interest for Richie the same way Claire is marked for Carmy, everything being intentional and all that.

While I leave a slight amount of room to believe that a show about a group of kitchen rats doesn't have an overly-extensive jewelry collection to pull from in the wardrobe department, if it was intentional I think it says more about Richie's motivations than it does Carmy's.

Richie really wanted a Claire. Someone available, interested, someone he could regard as a "high-calibre woman" (I am not going to include any of the dialogue from Fishes, don't worry). I think the "X" could signify women who are emotionally open and available. What the men do with that is up to them - I don't think The Bear is going to fuck around with fatalistic narratives when it's actively trying to dispel them elsewhere.

I really love the sense of play as the staff gather around the perquod's pizza as the chef is preparing it - taking a minute to delight in it without it disrupting the urgency of the kitchen at rush. I can't wait until The Bear gains its sea legs and we see everyone BOH being afforded moments like this.

Deep dish is not "magic pizza" though. Far from it.

When Richie identifies the apple cider gastrique and Garrett cries "THATS MY FUCKING BOY RIGHT THERE!!" -

I mean, it's bro movie shit, and this would never happen in a week....but it is a truly charming context switch. The Taylor Swift bit was way too cloying for me, but I'm relieved to see Richie smile and Ebon really sells it all.

Shout out to the shot of Ceres.

It's been discussed, but Garrett's sobriety story re: acts of service for recovery/hospital-ity is a poignant add-on.

Every character featured on the show is tasked with providing service and taking care of people in either a hospital or hospitality setting, and it's the key to maintaining (or regaining) control of their lives.

Richie is a baby who's learning, we know this. This seems more like a direct shot across the bow at Carmy - even with the example of a girlfriend who's a doctor, he's negating taking care of people and providing acts of service for them to provide for himself (thinking it'll make him better at it). Carmy has dodged alcoholism through abstinence, but he's exhibiting addict behavior by abdicating his responsibilities to others in order to chase sensations. He dodges his AA meetings, neglects service to others, and ends up losing control of his life.

Aaannnd we're back to Berzatto patterns with Richie feeling like Carmy owns and controls him, once it's reinforced that Garrett/Chef Terry defer to Carmy re: Richie's working life. We all know Carmy would never deny him the opportunity to move on to another stellar job, which makes his call to him so annoying.

I like that the next morning Richie is shown to be 50% less self-destructive. He's bloodshot again and staring at Mikey's prayer card in the mirror, but he's also up in a flash, organizing Eva's crayons, cleaning the counters etc. instead of just fully dirt-bagging it out the door. He's not perfect, but he's changed.

Hmmm - Richie reveals to Chef Terry that he was a military brat.If he moved around a lot as the sole child (it's been established that his parents were shit), it definitely explains why he would gravitate towards Mikey's very rooted family to have an established sense of place, no matter how dysfunctional it is. He also seems to take it very personally that their dad was a deadbeat - I wonder if that was a secondary abandonment for him too.

Chef Terry - "I tried to open a place years ago. I had all these accolades, I was younger, I was on fire. I was arrogant and I tried to move too fast and I couldn't keep the place open, and the market crashed and I got killed.[......] the most public wipe-out.

Yikes. Followed by the story of her current place:

"That was on my 38th birthday. I was out walking all night, unemployed, angry, depressed - blaming everyone else for all the time I'd lost and all the money I'd lost, all of it. And it was raining - and I was walking through Lincoln Park - and my phone died. And so I stood under this awning waiting for the rain to stop - and I just stood there and stared - and then the sun came up, and it turns out I was right there.

And then I walked 'round to the front and I saw the sign. It was an actual sign. It was a restaurant for lease sign."

Richie - "Like a, uh, never too late...."

"Yeah. Never too late to start over."

Again, the meaning as it applies to Richie is pretty overt and obvious, but I wonder how they're going to tether this more to Syd or Carmy next season (or just rail them both equally with it, along with the fate of The Bear). There are also parallels of it being a family business, and the death of a family member that she didn't get the opportunity to know as well as she should have.

"He believes in you. He told me" - Aw, Carmy ❤️ I'll be mad at you again tomorrow.

This ended up being more enjoyable than I remembered. I think Pop and Fishes just did a number on me.

[erinelizabethh]

Time Slip | Chai x Reader (1/?)

Summary: Chai, ambassador of Vandelay Technologies, certainly has his ways of communication. You, living in the suburbs outside the campus, don't even have a cell phone. You know what they say about relationships...

“I think I’m in love…”

He thinks so, teetering towards knowing so, and his hands are a layer of protection against a pillow soft as silk. His heart beats to a love song from the eighties, the strum of a guitar following drums mellow and soft; “Chai,” a voice calls, yet Chai himself hums along and brushes the hair upon the back of his neck with every tap… tap… tap. The world matches his frequency, down to the radio that follows his movements and the lamp by his bedside that flickers with the seconds that pass by. When he recalls of lips on his, the tempo gains momentum and he feels his heart bursting from his chest like the night before. His head nods, high-tops shaken off his feet and to the floor, and he wiggles one foot back and forth counting the beats per minute.

“She kissed me—” Chai sighs like his roommate, although hers is akin to an exhale of exasperation, “and her lips were like, really soft. She also digs some of my music, y’know, and—”

Peppermint sits up with a huff and a groan of his name, ribs leaning over crossed legs to retrieve her laptop from the foot of her bed. Her taps are rapid, in search for answers, and her eyes catch at her peripheral cheeks a brush of crimson. With a roll of her eyes, Chai’s muse is but a name inside a search bar, mundane like Peppermint expects her to be. Not a Vandelay, of course, because Peppermint’s got that covered. Not anyone to note, really; in fact there is nothing to be found about you. All over the internet lacks memories of you, selfies to possibly attribute you to a trait, or even a page that doesn’t draw a, “So you… weren’t catfished?” out of her mouth.

She might have to blow off the dust of her mother’s Yellow Pages for this one.

“Oh no no no no, my dear Peppermint. She is very much real.” Peppermint will remember that. “Oh yeah, so real that we’re actually going out on another date tomorrow!”

When your lips pulled from his, your eyes were eager to meet his own. His lips were really soft, you noted, except you didn’t taste a hint of balm. Would he agree with you if you said they fit perfectly against yours? Perhaps, if he did, you would be the one submitting to him the second time. Upon lowering your gaze, you found his fingers metal and flesh alike fidgeting as the spark on his lips lingered. You shared the sentiment, your body aflame from seconds before yet itching to experience it once more. Again, you looked up past the blush upon his cheeks and into eyes of chestnut hues in search of an answer.

He could not meet your gaze this time, shuffling away from the sight to behold before him for inanimate objects that didn’t increase his heart rate to insane levels. The daisies placed aside on your third stair, for example, yeah, that was a good one… except your chosen scent definitely resembled that of the flower. Chai, at that moment, was meek in his reaction and unlike the guy that delivered the one-liner that brought him to your doorstep. His brain was failing him, lagging behind his heart rapid in its beats. The rhythm inconsistent, whatever love song he once heard in passing was taking over him.

The heart wants what it wants, he noted, his justification meant to halt the trembling of the rest of his body. “I— I, uh… can we run that back?”

Inching closer to him to oblige his request, Chai followed your movements before he raised his wrist to his face and said: “Oh crap!” His watch, gifted to him by a friend of his of gentle nature and reading well past his allotted time, were reflecting eyes wide in his failure to check like he was told to multiple times by multiple people. Until his gaze found yours, his watch had the pleasure of analyzing the panic on his face; however, he then couldn’t help but mimic the frown tugging on your lips. “I really gotta’ go… but– but I’m free all day Thursday! Do you maybe… wanna do this again? Please?” Snapping his fingers, he then takes one step down your stairs as if approaching an idea. “There’s a concert! I’ll snag two tickets! Seven sound good?”

The man was already dashing past people down your block, past boomboxes that live to his rhythm. “It’s a date,” you called to him, eyeing his figure shrink in the distance as your breathing slowed.

A groan, then a smack to your forehead. You really need to get yourself a cell phone.

[sadgirlautumn]

Your last set of tags...100% agree. I just wish it stayed about the music (and tour), y'know? I honestly am not super interested in TK, he seems nice, that's nice. Good luck to them. And genuinely the songs could be about whoever, I'm just interested in the way they sound and how they're crafted. Sometimes people's reactions just veer too far into gossip fodder for my taste. I like Taylor, I think she's talented, I love how her brain works to make these songs, but I'm not interesting in analysing her every move and analysing her every move like a character in a tv show.

You said it so well! We have so much to talk about but it always seems to circle back to her current or previous relationships. Don’t get me wrong her and TK have their cute moments but it’s weird that some people have to analyze every part of his life too now that he’s dating her. It just feels like an invasion of privacy even if the stuff that they are looking into is technically “public” that doesn’t mean that it needs to be over analyzed to see if he’s hiding a ring shaped box in his pocket or something. 😭

I remember I saw someone say a few months ago that “newer swifties wouldn’t have been able to handle Taylor’s relationships prior to Joe” and I feel like that is true for me because I joined tumblr during the drought right when Taylor and Joe had started dating and as I said since he was so private he wasn’t constantly giving the fans new things to talk about so I never realized how intense this fandom could be about her relationships until I got a little sampling of it with how people treated Jake during red tv and now with everything that happened in 2023.

I think why it’s been getting to me so much recently is i didn’t realize how much I didn’t like gossiping about this stuff until this past year because it didn’t seem like a big part of swiftie culture since when I joined it was just an occasional joke about a guy she dated a few years ago. I miss when we had silly little nights playing games (which we still do occasionally) and when people would write essays about a single song lyric. It just makes me sad to see some people I follow not be as active because the gossip gets too much. Myself included, i purposely tried to keep myself busy on Sundays so I wouldn’t get annoyed at people for having fun on tumblr dot com. (Which is another thing: I really see both sides to this because the people who want to talk about TK want to have fun and so do the people who don’t want to talk to him. I also think people are trying too hard to label people who agree or disagree with talking too in depth about it but everyone’s different so it winds up just being something to make people who already agree with you feel better rather than solve an actual problem that’s sort of unsolvable.)

To summarize: certain aspects of her personal life are always going to be relevant to the art she creates and can add layers or change perspectives by knowing certain things. But to dwell on them and act like the only interesting thing about her is her relationships just makes me sad.

[virtuacore]

Knock (노크) 못참겠네 (Moschamgess-ne; I Can't Stand It) (1997) periodical old kpop power hour of power (POKPHOP) 1집

what better way to start off this series than with my favorite song from this era ever. the obscurant one-and-done group Knock's "못참겠네" (Moschamgess-ne; I Can't Stand It) is a profoundly strange, groovy banger that's like... you ever hear something and then never stop thinking about it for like, two-plus years? yeah, this is that. it's riding a crazy, pointillistic disco-house flow somewhere between Deavid Soul and Akufen, Cassius trading their vinyl for ROMplers, maximalist microhouse: as skeletal as it is stuffed with little details, spangles and accents, filter sweeps and microsamples. it's things like the molecular reduction of "That's the Way (I Like It)" in the intro, the track snapping into a nocturnal, jazzy hustle, the thumping kick and its accompanying squirrely bassline bending itself into a möbius strip, multiple hard-panned samples jumping out of the mix at the same time, or the digi-horns, space drums, pulses, beeps, whirls, pagers and phones all going off in parallel, and god knows what else (there's a lot more!). and the trio dovetail with and riff on all this racket perfectly, ooh-la-la harmonies colliding with angular co-ed rap geometry, sweetened sing-song into a perfect hook as sassy as it is yearning. and the breakdown after the first chorus is pure madness, a couple bars at a jagged clip and then "it's about that time I put you back on track!" in the center channel and "it's disco time, baby!" out of the left before devolving into gang chants and scream-raps. then it gets itself together and locks back on to that hellacious groove. totally devious.

it's a small thing, too, but I greatly appreciate this song knowing how good its hook is and beating the hell out of it as such. so many hits (and not-hits) of the time just sorta end, you know? here they drop the drums a second, bring them back and then hammer the hook into your brain over and over, layering the intro rap and a bunch more of those laser pulses on top. anyway... this song fuckin' rules so hard. what also fuckin' rules? this song's video!

the MV is so, so, sooooo good. a low-budget urban daydream of 90s street scenes (shout out to Freetel!), passing trains, underpass dance rituals and rain-slicked parking lots, all lit by colorful strobes and fogged-out flood lights, absolutely killer fashion (and at least two killer wigs), crazy fresh dance moves, just a bunch of grooving and messing about with friends on the street corner with a tinge of X-Files and Jet Set Radio, all linked together by an unimpeachable sense of cool. the image of the group just vibing on top of those cars while shrouded in fog and light? simply iconic. the video's mysterious nocturnal energy and heady, kinetic rhythm is the perfect match for the music, and the combination is a revelation.

the rest of Knock's sole album also rules, even if none of the other songs quite rise to the level of revelation that the title track does. every song is a keeper, whether the off-axis G-funk of "YAMMA" and "Bad Girl", the cartoonish lilt of "오리", or the infectious duo of "Miss Miss" and "너 친구맞니?!", which both utilize the structure of a four-on-the-floor hook juxtaposed with a funky syncopated rhythm for the verses. "연습게임" is mystical and subterranean, and even the requisite album-closing ballad "I feel in your eyes" is a jammer: slow-and-low, spare yet lush, unpretentious and memorable. the whole record's united by the same off-kilter soundworld that animates the title track—the same ROMpler full of samples bouncing every which way, instruments all over the place, bits and pieces of voice and sound accenting everything, almost like a fourth vocalist. it's full of hooks, microhooks and grooves, all anchored to a mad sense of rhythm and space. all these joints have been stuck in my head for ages, basically! it's always it's the weirdest, galaxy-brain tunes that go nowhere and are doomed to obscurity, ain't it.

download in FLAC or V0 (ripped from my CD... scanned, too!)

bonus fun fact #1: the female rapper with the buzz-cut is named Z-E (지이)—after Knock fizzled out, she linked up with a rapper by the name of Turtleman to form the trio Turtles (거북이), who scored hit after hit until Turtleman's tragic passing in 2008. Turtles were a universally beloved trio, and deservedly so—they also absolutely rule.

bonus fun fact #2 and #3: "못참겠네" (plus "YAMMA" and "Bad Girl") was arranged by one Jegal Min (제갈민), one of the unsung heroes (see also: Shin Young-sub (신영섭)) of the original 1992-1994 "rap dance" craze that was dominated by Seo Taiji, Hyun Jin-young, DEUX and others. like many a failed pop star, he then found far more success in production and management. one of his backup dancers, Kim Jung-nam, later found stardom as half of the legendary Turbo (터보).

bonus fun fact #4: future entries in this series will absolutely not go on this long. i just really love this song, yeah?

tumblr exclusive bonus fun fact #5: periodical old kpop power hour of power (POKPHOP) is a series i've started on my cohost page but to a certain extent this tumblr has been on a POKPHOP for seven whole years now

hat tip: Old Kpop추억의뮤비 and 58RNA3QD

[ashleywool]

Hello! Saw the show on Sunday and loved every second! I'm also a non-union performer who is neurodivergent (ADHD with anxiety comorbidity though I suspect it could be something more) and I've lately been struggling with navigating the audition process and its characteristics (loud waiting rooms, disruption of routine, long travel days, over stimulation of NYC itself) with my how my brain works.

I also live a bit far from the city so I usually need to weigh pros and cons when deciding what to go out for. And I find I'm constantly weighing the effects on my mental state against the opportunities it could give me. Are their things you or your cast mates do to help accommodate during situations like that? Do you think their are accommodations that the theatre community could put in place in audition spaces to better include neurodiverse talent?

To be clear, the actual audition part of it never bothers me it's always the easiest part. I just find I feel completely fried by the time I get in the room because of what it took mentally to get myself there.

Either way How to Dance in Ohio is such a breath of fresh air and I hope it manages to find life after Broadway either on tour or in schools or maybe a spot off-broadway. It has so much more good to give.

Ooooof. I feel this. All of it. I'm originally from northern Westchester and I spent many exhausting commutes doing exactly this.

I would honestly say the best thing you can do for yourself is to join Equity if you are eligible. It's a better audition experience all around, you can sign up for appointments in advance on the member portal and view projects that accept self-tapes, AND it will get you in the room for better jobs.

If you aren't eligible yet or just don't feel ready to compete on that level yet, I'd recommend focusing more on local projects over the big NYC cattle calls. I don't know exactly where you live or what your regional/community theatre scene is like, but I do know that those theaters are the ones that are struggling the most right now and could use people who are passionate and want to build their resumes. It's a lot easier to get seen and get cast, you'll be able to keep your day job and not tunnel-vision your life around waiting on line for crappy nonunion tours that charge Broadway prices but pay minimum wage, AND you will likely meet a lot of people who will get to know you much better and more personally than a casting director ever could in a 2-minute window.

Keep in mind, also, that when you walk into a professional audition and a casting director looks at your resume, they don't care how much you were paid for a job or what kind of contract you were on. And they don't care how you got your Equity card. The only people who care about that stuff are bitter judgmental actors who need the gatekeeping to feel better about themselves (and no matter what your answer is, they won't like you anyway). The people who actually matter only care that you're on time, prepared, friendly, open to direction, and right for the role they need.

As for actually doing the professional NYC audition grind, here are some pro-tips:

-Opt for appointments and self-tapes over "open calls" whenever possible.

-CONTINUE being selective about the projects you go out for. Trust me, I did many years of the "throw all the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks" method, and it doesn't work, and it will only burn you out more.

-Don't overthink your audition material. You don't need exact 16-bar cuts of ten different in your book for every style of musical theatre. You can do the "overdone" songs and monologues if they fit who you are and the roles you can conceivably play. It's New York. Everything is overdone. YOU are not overdone.

-Dress comfortably. Sounds obvious, but it took me way too long to realize that no, really, I do not have to wear heels to an audition. Be strategic with layers.

-Get a rolling suitcase over a backpack. Way less strain.

-Noise. Cancelling. Headphones. Also, make playlists of your "comfort" songs and your "motivation" songs and your "wind-down" songs and your "zone-out" songs so you have predictable, appropriate background noise to whatever you're doing--commuting, waiting in the holding room, eating lunch, etc. Preferably songs that are not from musicals and have nothing to do with whatever shows you're auditioning for. Auditioning is a job and you need a work-life balance there too.

-Do something else in the city unrelated to auditioning or performing. Go to a museum or a park or just a cute coffee shop where you can just EXIST and not perform.

I hope these help <3

[kimmkitsuragi]

the fame monster (2009) - my commentary edition

this is so fun, we started doing album commentary with a mutual!! anyone who wants in can join and add their thoughts too <3

BAD ROMANCE - THEEEE SONG OF ALL TIME TBH. excuse me i will literally write an essay on this. first of all: this changed the trajectory of pop music at that time. it really did. i dont want any further comments on this.

second of all, i knowww this is probably the most popular gaga song and everyone has heard it so many times in their lives (especially on the radio in early 2010s lol) BUT! i want everyone to hear it again and again and again. because they just dont make songs like this anymore!!! the production valueeeee are u hearing this????? the vocals??? the lyrics??? the POWER absolute power of this song. oh my god.

also, rah rah bitch. gaga ooh lala even.

last of all, when she said i dont wanna be friends french and THEN started speaking french??? 😭☝ i FEEL that lady gaga

ALEJANDRO - okay this CHANGED ME as a person. im not even kidding. i watched the music video, i was like 10, and it awakened something in me.

this song was also such a hit, and to be honest, it is simply insane to me that we were listening to this on the radio. like?? are u hearing this BEAT??? with that intro?? the hook???? that buildup??? please. this is pop perfection right here.

DONT CALL MY NAME ROBERTO 😔

MONSTER - i love this one so much. that boy is a monster mo mo monster, so fucking true! one thing i really like about a lot of her music is that the songs are jams and sound really fun, but then when u listen to the lyrics, it gets really really sad. this is a good example of this. she does that a lot starting from this album especially

also that little just dance reference hehe queen of intertextuality and self referentiality (i will say this every time she references her own songs and she does that A LOT i realized lol)

SPEECHLESS - the best gaga ballad!!! TO ME!! it's soooo good. her voice is so captivating (vocal queen always foreverrrr). the lyrics are so 😭😭 the production and instrumentals!! pleaseeee

side note: interesting how her trash father inspired so many of her best works 🤔 when i listen to this song i lose myself in it every time and then i think: QUEEN how could u possibly write this about your dad and how it can be soooo good???

DANCE IN THE DARK - one of her most underrated songs!!! definitely!!! THAT BRIDGE!!!!! marilyn, judy, sylvia tell em how you feel girls 🗣🗣🗣

i love this one so much. sooo much. how do the kids say nowadays, she is really mothering in this one, okay?

ooh and did u know that there is a rina sawayama cover of this song?? i love that as well.

TELEPHONE - oh my godddd the way i would try to do the dance of this but never could 😭 it was too much for little me...

okay this one is absolutely ICONIQUE as one would say. the music video??? that's poetic cinema. they left us with "to be continued" for over a decade now lmao 😭 i wish we could see them together again pleaseeee

what can i say, it's a hit!! another song that no one could escape from in early 2010s lol she's quite the hit-maker isnt she :)

SO HAPPY I COULD DIE - what a layered song. first of all, the lyricism of this song (this album in general tbh) really transcends. the way this can be sexual, or it can be about addiction at the same time. i really dont have the brain power to write abt it in depth but i just love the lyrics of this one sooo much

"i am as vain as i allow" this is so gaga.

TEETH - 😳😳😳 okay... this one is one of her hottest songs imo what does it say abt me lmao

i LOVE this like that beat... and it has such a musical theater vibe to it, it's so so good. has some really fun vocal moments too <3 really what a closer to this incredible album!!

(BONUS SONG) RETRO, DANCE, FREAK -

okay this one is a bonus song (technically for "The Fame" album, but released with the international deluxe edition of "The Fame Monster". so im putting it here as a bonus song lol)

this one is soooo fun for me. i wish this was in the original tracklist of The Fame instead of Disco Heaven tbh. it's fun, it fits the energy and vibe of the album so well. it would be a better closer imo :<

general comments - this album is POP PERFECTION in the literal sense im not even kidding. it's her shortest, but probably the most impactful work.

in terms of production, it has such a CLARITY that is really hard to see in many albums. the art direction and music meets the production perfectly. The Fame is an iconic album, sure. but The Fame Monster really takes a huge step ahead from that if you ask me. which says a LOT about the quality of this album

i want to say, the lyrics in this album is probably my favorite from her works. it just!!!! so good, so powerful!!! the dark side of fame may seem like an overdone concept, but she does it so well here

i would say this is her best album if i didnt know what will come later in her career lmao. it's just so good, so clean, so inspirational, i would just think "okay how will she top this cmon now"... but she does she really does that's really impressive on its own

ranking for now: the fame monster >> the fame

(the ranking may get Messy in the next album commentaries lmao but im just trying 🤷‍♂️)

[tessmontyart]

🎉🎉COCO MOON DAY! 🎉🎉

To celebrate I made some owl cupcakes 😁 Those who remember my rockcandypassion days will be familiar ;) (just like my old profile pic! Nostalgia)

We listened to the album for the first time while munching on these, and I wrote down my thoughts while I was listening 💕 so here we go! (I’m no writer so bear with me lol!)

Adam, Check Please

When this first came out, I absolutely adored it. I couldn’t get over all the different layers it has, and it uses all my favourite classic Owl City synths and orchestral sounds. At first I wasn’t keen on the lyrics, but it’s definitely grown on me!

It’s reminiscent of Fiji Water, in the similar story-time style about a moment in Adams life that, even though it was kinda strange, he’s forever grateful for the experience.

I love that crazy sound effect that happens after he says “feeling kinda small” xD It doesn’t happen again. What is it?

The “Adam check please” “help is on the way” layered vocal section is really soothing and gives my brain a lot of happy chemicals.

Such creative little rhythmic embellishments, and orchestral elements peppered throughout which elevate the song to new heights.

The funky guitar strumming during the chorus is just so catchy, I love it. And that synth solo!!! It gives me life.

It’s turns from a storytime song to a very inspiring and uplifting song towards the end; “Put in the work until your signature becomes an autograph” is such a good line!

And yes please, absolutely adore when a song ends with an outro of layered Adam vocals, like Can’t Live Without You 💕

Under the Circus Lights

Wait - from the land down under!? 😮That’s me! 🐨

I’m reminded of of Super Honeymoon, the way he’s captivated by this girl - and in turn I'm absolutely captivated by this song!

The classic Owl City lyric style that I've missed so much … very Of June / Maybe I'm Dreaming / Sky Sailing-esque style storytelling. I’m absolutely head over heels in love with this song already. Instant favourite for sure!!

I love the time signature change to a 3/4 swing, similar to Plant Life ❤️

“That girl was raised by a butterfly” what an adorable line 💖

It really does remind me of an alternate Super Honeymoon with hints of Ultraviolet and Cinematic sounds 😮

The part with the applause and Adam yelling “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most spectacular show on earth!!" Hoo boy I cannot WAIT to hear this live!!!

This song is taking my breath away, it’s simply absolutely everything I love about Owl City, but still brand new with new twists and sounds.

Adams falsetto is absolutely heavenly!!

Such a wonderful outro of Owl City-esque circus music and sound effects, you feel like you're there 💖

Kelly Time:

I was very intrigued when this came out, it's such a treat to listen to and I was incredibly curious to know what the lyrics were about because it was so oddly specific. Turns out it's from the perspective of a beach volleyball from the movie Castaway! 🏐🏝 I need to watch that now for context! xD

The storytelling style continues, and definitely seems to be a theme for this album. I'm here for it, I've missed it so much.

Every time he yells “I’m sorry”, I feel it with every fibre of my being.

I really love the length of this song as well. I appreciate being able to “live” in songs a little longer.

The Adam Young Scores-esque orchestral embellishments add so much to it as well, it's one of my favourite features to 'modern' Owl City :)

More classic Owl City Dadadas as well as Doodoodoos :D

I feel the 2nd “I'm SOOOORRY” with my whole soul

I can't think of many Owl City songs that use a lot of acoustic guitar, so the combination of acoustic guitar with all the cute synths and piano is absolutely perfect!

Field Notes

The orchestral elements are very reminiscent of All Things Bright and Beautiful.

That dang dog :P

I love the way he says lickety split, such a fun phrase to say hehe :D Again, adoring the storytelling theme of this whole album.

The chords are so unique here! And the gorgeous plucked strings aid the excitement and push the story forward. Then all these beautiful shimmers and sparkles combined with the violins and piano is heavenly to hear .. ahhhhh ✨✨✨

“Theres a couple of things worth more precious than gold, one is your heart and one is your soul” What a beautiful line 💖

I thought it ended, now it’s getting more exciting! :0

Goodness gracious this man !!NEEDS!! to score a movie, this is incredible, I can see everything unfolding in my head!

And a synth solo accompanied by an orchestra, what a perfect combination!

Sons of Thunder

The reverse synths combined with the sparkly synths are absolutely beautiful and tickling my brain 💖

These lyrics convey such rich imagery! And I really like the line “We’ll be the odd music makers”

Oh! Suddenly it's rock time!! This is so powerful, I'm loving it. 🎸

"We'll flyyyyy" sounds similar to “I'm soooorry” in Kelly Time, this must be a Coco Moon recurring motif :D

Is that Abbey singing!? :D :D

This song sounds like all of Owl City's eras mixed into one, it's spectacular! ✨ Particularly Bird with a Broken Wing 🎶

I'm having a religious experience listening to this, despite not being religious, that's just how powerful and uplifting this song is! 😅

The Tornado

Beautiful piano accompanying Adam's lovely soft voice is always a lovely way to start a song 💖 His soft singing gives me life.

“The sky turned like a cauldron” - what a cool line! And the thunder sound effects really set the mood.

The tornado starts and sounds exactly as intense and horrifying as one would if it was a song! His orchestral skills are absolutely mind-blowing, It’s genuinely scary and thrilling to listen to, I have goosebumps allover!

Wow .. I've never heard Adam yell that hard, and the distortion adds to the terror he's experiencing. I'm genuinely scared for him and honestly hoping it's just a story and not based on a real experience ... 😰

Kelly time vibes again around 3:50, the synth sounding like “I'm soooorry” - a recurring motif, a thread that links Coco Moon songs 💕

A very well crafted, beautiful, philosophical and thought-provoking song. It's powerful and genuinely terrifying, but the lyrics still uplift as you are grateful for being alive. The outro becomes so optimistic with sweet and happy synths, but still ends with a loud terrifying BANG 😰

Vitamin Sea

This is the first of the new songs I've already learned most of the lyrics to xD it's just so silly and catchy, I love it! The music video of him playing around in the snow just makes it even more fun 😄 I hope he has more music videos up his sleeve!

Who is Nancy anyway? xD

The heavy guitar in the chorus rocks, and it's honestly hard not to headbang and sing along with Abbey and Adam 💖

The synths mixed with the marimba give a cute tropical vibe that elevates the beachy Hawaiian vibes 🏖

No classic dadadas, but an adorable dododoo ooh ooh 💕

All these songs are gonna have the most epic synth solo aren't they *aggressive head-banging* 🎶🎶🎶

Definitely the catchiest so far, my favourite part is “And I think I'm gonna stay forever” - each syllable so quick and perfectly synched with the music and so satisfying to hear and sing along to.

Wait there ARE Dadadadadadadadas! YES!!! 💕 💕 💕

Dinosaur Park

Both my partner and I are really looking forward to this one, he's studying to become a Palaeontologist, volunteers at a museum and works with fossils, and we both just love Dinosaurs in general 💖

It starts off beautifully, the cricket sound effects and soft instruments setting the atmosphere of a sparkling starry night. Very nice lo-fi beats.

When he says "starry night", you can see it clearly with the gorgeous twinkling sounds that all work together to make it sound like you're under the moonlight.

Orchestral Wolf Bite melody :D

Magical dinosaurs ... is definitely my jam. What an adorable concept. Very evocative of childhood wonder for dinosaurs ✨

The little orchestral break using a cricket's chirp as a beat? Genius. 💕

Such a long beautiful song!! 6 minutes, what a gift. I am loving everything about it. This is definitely a fav too! 💖

“What do dinosaurs talk about when they're alone?” 💖 So cute!!! I think they talk about how great leaves are :P

Such a beautiful magical song. I feel like I'm listening to a classic Owl City song yet there's so many brand new sounds at the same time.

I love all the different sections! Rather than just Verse Chorus Verse Chorus, It's more like: Intro, Verse, Bridge, Chorus, Verse, Bridge, Chorus A, Break, Chorus B, New bridge + build up, Chorus A, another new build up, Chorus B, Outro 😮 (forgive me if my terminology isn't completely correct 😅)

Such an interesting and fresh structure for Owl City!

My partner: Our future Owl City roadtrip just got longer 😄

Learn How To Surf

The opening chords and record scratching gives it such nostalgic 90's vibes, I love it already!! 😎

Adam's love for blondes strikes again 😜 I already want to draw this girl with quirky tattoos!

This is so fun and really reminds me of the Live it Up and Clap Your Hands Owl City era of the mid 2010's.

THE KING OF SYNTH STRIKES AGAIN 🎹🎵

This is so catchy, definitely another favourite!

The shortest song on the album at 3:40 mins (the rest are over 5 mins!) while still being incredibly fulfilling and awesome.

I'm absolutely loving how the synth is almost saxophone-like and distorted to make it sound even more epic than a normal synth 🎷

I actually loved this song way more than I expected to! 💖 I had heard a snippet of the chorus before and thought it was literally an instructional song on how to surf lol, but in context it's actually SO GOOD 💕

The Meadow Lark

This Isn’t The End vibes straight away ... also the same melody as Country Hymn! 😮

The oohs are really gorgeous 💕 I like the imagery of this lovely Meadow Lark singing between the two soldiers.

It sounds like a Mobile Orchestra song in the new Owl City Era 😮

Unfortunately I'm not too into the lyrics, but the music is still really beautiful.

I love how even though the chord progression stays the same and keeps repeating, the instruments that play those chords keep changing as the piece goes on.

The bird sound effects really elevate the song as well.

Unfortunately I'm not religious or comfortable with war, so this one didn't grab me much lyrically, but I'm sure it is beautiful and moving for my religious friends, so I'm keen to hear their thoughts on this one 💖

My Muse

Ahhh precious boy singing about Abbey again 💕 I love that we get to hear more about that fateful day, and more little tidbits - I love their relationship and I'm relieved they’re still together. I wasn’t sure for a while!

Oh

My GOD

They did marry!!! AAahhh 💖

As soon as I heard “The Altar” I seriously just looked at my partner all “!!!!!!!!!!!” Then started sobbing happy tears 😭

Hearing him describe everything he loves about Abbey is absolutely beautiful and heartwarming. Definitely need tissues for this song!

The accompanying music is fairly simple so you can just focus on the absolutely gorgeous lyrics. Usually Adam's vocal + piano songs are quite sad like Silhouette and Lonely Lullaby, this one is the total opposite emotion 😭💖

Such a beautiful contrast to Lonely Lullaby.

I have never cried over a song before. I’m speechless and sobbing, and can't even think of more words. That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us, Adam! 😭

🎉🎉FINAL THOUGHTS 🎉🎉

So overall, the production quality is absolutely mind-blowing, the best he’s ever done by a landslide! I love the storytelling style of lyrics, that has always been my favourite part of Owl City. 💖 There's a lot of whimsical songs, catchy songs, powerful and beautiful songs. There's something for everyone! The religious songs are very powerful and gorgeous without making non-religious listeners feeling left out.

I'm so pleased with how long each song is, most being over 5 minutes and having so many different sections to them, rather than just verse chorus verse chorus. Each song is a highly meticulously crafted work of art. So much richness and variety and passion is packed into each and every song, and you can tell each one would have taken months to perfect.

I just wish there were more tracks 😭 Even though they are longer than the average track, I still felt that “oh, we’re on the last song already?” feeling at the end. I think it needed 2 more songs at the very least, or even 4 to bring it up to 15. But I digress.

Overall, absolutely amazing album, I think it may be my favourite, or a very very VERY close second. I will need to listen to it more to fully decide whether it beats All Things Bright and Beautiful or not, but it comes pretty damn close!

I'm honestly so happy, over the moon for this amazing gift Adam has worked so hard to create for us all. This is peak Owl City, there’s something for fans of all his different eras, with unique new fresh sounds, structures and concepts. I could hear a lot of Cinematic, All Things Bright And Beautiful and Ultraviolet, even some Of June sprinkled in, but it definitely has it's own unique flavour too, a sort of theatrical breathtaking storybook universe of wonder and beauty. 💖

Favourite tracks: Under the Circus Lights, Dinosaur Park, Learn to Surf and My Muse 💕

[birdhaslostit]

Okay,

top Ghost songs in no particular order: a review

New fan here, and I’m trying to learn everything i can about these guys. I first heard them on TikTok, but it actually wasn’t Mary On a Cross. Most people seem to have found them through that. (There’s no shame in it though, that song kicks ass.) I don’t remember the first Ghost song I ever heard, but I do remember hearing about them every once in a while.

Cirice (Ceremony and Devotion ver.)

If it isn't the live version, I don't want it. You can feel the electricity of the crowd. The chanting and yelling, you can practically see people reaching out, clawing to touch the stage. The guitars are especially ominous and twangy in this version. Papa's little additions of "can you?" and "I wanna know" make me want to scream back like I'm actually there. The way he ends it on a HOWL of a note, with the added reverb of it being played live? I've left my body, I am no longer alive. My ex-catholic ass has never felt closer to god than I have while listening to the lyrics "can't you see that you're lost? Can't you see that you're lost without me?" Also, Terzo specifically playing this live? I've seen the videos. Absolute filth. Incredible. I would shit my pants if I saw it in person. Can I hear the rumble that's calling? Absolutely I can. It's shaking my floorboards from all the bass.

Jesus He Knows Me

I just need to start by saying that this music video is the filthiest thing I've ever seen. And. I. Love. It. I didn't even catch the Defroque pun until a few days later. This song and this video absolutely gut scummy televangelists, and it's the greatest thing I've seen in years. It was one of the first Ghost music videos I ever watched, if not the first. All over TikTok, I saw video after video of people going "don't watch this, it's terrible, it's insane, it's so disrespectful, it's so gross." And of course, I had to see it after seeing so many people tell me how gnarly it was. I knew I'd definitely seen worse, and I had to see it for myself. It was, in the biblical sense, Eve grasping for the fruit of the tree. I logged into Youtube, and my jaw was on the ground. I could talk about it for days. It ran through my head on loop afterwards, and just would not go away. I was absolutely shocked and amazed at the balls on these people to put it all out in the open like that, and to not only get away with it, but to make a poignant statement while doing it. They didn't just do this for the shock value, they did it because it's the truth. This thing fucking rules.

Rats

Oh my god, it's spooky Def Leppard! I love spooky Def Leppard! That guitar solo! Just listen to those layered harmonies on each "oh woah-oh." The music video? Exceptional in every way. It's like I'm watching an 80s MTV spectacle. The choreography is burned into my brain like I've stared at the sun for too long. It is extravagant in every way, and I love it.

Con Clavi Con Dio (Ceremony and Devotion ver.)

Again, if it isn't the live version, I don't want it. It hits infinitely different than it does in the studio version. Hearing the reverb of the vocals bouncing around the stadium, and everyone staying silent to listen to it like it's gospel... Outrageous. Hearing that first "Lucifer?" The Italian sections? I'm getting flashbacks of going to church, but instead I'm actually having a good time.

He Is

Now, as an ex-catholic, I wasn't really raised on the typical evangelical/protestant 'youth group Jesus rock.' My church was all old people, so it was mostly the traditional stuff. But I definitely have heard the genre enough to know it when I hear it, and this is it— but not shitty, and not about Jesus. If I heard this at a church during a vulnerable time in my life as a teen, I would've totally been on board. And the inherent layers to that fact cannot be understated. It's a perfect critique/parody, no notes.

Life Eternal

This hits me like a half-and-half blend between Cirice and He Is. It's got that yearning, reaching, almost loving feel to it that Cirice has, but the sugar-sweet churchy vibe of He Is that makes you forget the fact that it's being sung by the devil's favorite band. It also gives me almost Journey vibes? Like, listen to Open Arms, and then listen to this. I can't be the only one.

I Believe

I genuinely did not know this was a cover until like 5 minutes ago. This shit is so ethereal. Like, almost Enya-esque? There are so many layers to it, so many different parts you could focus on, so many different sounds blending into one gorgeous whole. How is it so heavenly even though it's being sung by a satanic pope? I'm levitating. I'm contemplating my existence in this universe. The original is not bad by any means, but I love this version 100 times more. This isn't just a cover, honestly. The song has been totally transformed. The atmospheres of the two versions are so vastly different that calling it 'just a cover' is doing it a disservice.

Darkness At The Heart Of My Love

The little guitar bit at the very start really surprised me, honestly. At first it sounded like... Renaissance fair-y? And then the vocals started. Ghost really keeps you on your toes. This is truly a pseudo-love ballad I can get into. If I was driving a car while this was playing, I would accidentally start speeding during the chorus. Again, strong 80s rock band vibes with this one. I keep thinking Keep on Loving You by REO Speedwagon. And the whispered parts that I had to google because I couldn't understand what they were saying? Once I found out, I was sold.

Square Hammer (Ceremony and Devotion ver.)

The reversed vocals at the start? That Scooby Doo-ass intro with the 60s-style organ? Again, I'm telling you, spooky Def Leppard! I love it! The live version of this is just incomparable to the studio version. The booming power behind this recording is nuts. It's like thunder and lightning, I've got chills. Am I on the square? Am I on the level? Fuck yes I am. Am I ready to swear right here, right now, before the devil? Give me a knife and point me to the nearest sacrificial goat.

Dance Macabre

Spooky stripper music. It's got a late 60s/early 70s vibe to it in a way that I can't fully explain. It might be the organ, it might be the vocal style, it might be the hook. The hook for sure sounds like something a boy band might pull, in a good way. Nothing occult enough to make the parents throw away all of their records, but enough to make your religious dad turn his nose up at it.

Kiss the Go-Goat

Jim Morrison, is that you? "You've been daddied by all the dudes that wanna dad / And all those dads never gave you the things you should've had" is the most insane line in this whole thing. He had no right. That's like a quadruple entendre. The balls on this man. And you already know I love a good blasphemous Latin section. With the smooches at the end? Be still, my heart. I just know people in 1969 were screaming and throwing panties onstage. It's just a fact.

Bonus list of songs I would shit my pants if they covered:

Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Specifically the Holier Than Thou Approach with Francois Kevorkian. Like what the fuck else would they do? It's like asking a fish to breathe water. It would be stupid if they didn't. Do it, cowards.

The Hairstyle of the Devil by Momus

I love New Wave. I just do. And I think that Ghost could really transform it into something spectacular in their own style. The lyrics are fascinating: "And when you meet me finally your horns will lock with mine / For the beast rules with rivalry / As the clock rules with time / Pleased to meet you, hope you've guessed my name." They could do so much with this.

Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga

A pretty obvious pick, I know, but you have to admit it would be incredible.

Talking In Your Sleep by The Romantics

They could make this so slutty and so spooky, y'all. Listen to the lyrics and tell me they wouldn't.

Pet Sematary by The Ramones

Again, on-brand.

The Stroke by Billy Squier

I mean, come on.

Fortune and Fame by Naked Eyes

I can't tell you why, but in my mind, it really fits.

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

The annual pre-show quick-fire "reviews"

Guess who procrastinated for a month and a half on this post!

Albania An Albanian song starting with a woman going "AaAaAAaaaAAAAA"? Groundbreaking. Duje is a very run-of-the-mill Albanian folk power ballad and at this point, I'm kinda tired of these.

Armenia Music good, lyrics clunky.

Australia It is, dare I say, alright.

Austria A song that everyone thought is gonna be a musical shitpost turned out to be an absolute fucking banger, god bless.

Azerbaijan I'm not sure whether I actually like it a bit or it's just me being happy that Azerbaijan has finally let local artists write their song. Now wait until the twins flop and Azerbaijan goes back to swedes-for-hire next year.

Belgium It's fine.

Croatia Is it weird that I don't have much to say about a song like this? Mama ŠČ is shocking the first time you experience it, and I do like the layers of interpretation, but it's not something I want to return to after a couple listens.

Cyprus Imagine Dragons-ass production, ugh.

Czech Republic It's pretty good but I can't fully enjoy it because of the fucking controversy. Look, I think that the girls had the best intentions in mind when writing My Sister's Crown but didn't realize that singing about Slavic unity and "choose love over power" while having a russian member might come off as problematic. Classic ignorance over malice. Still, I wish they had someone Ukrainian-speaking in the band, at least temporarily for ESC.

Denmark This type of "uwu cute softboy" music is not my thing, but eh, it's fine, I'll let zoomer kids have this one.

Estonia Well someone had to fill the ballad quota this year.

Finland It's crazy, it's party, I'm going to throw hands if it doesn't win the televote.

France Fulenn flopped so now we're back to being aggressively French. Evidemment is a bop, I like it.

Georgia It feels like they had a song that made sense in Georgian and then asked a third-grader to translate it. I'm not opposed to silly lyrics in general, but Echo is clearly trying to be meaningful but then fails at basic english grammar.

Germany "We have Rammstein at home". Blood and Glitter is fine but, I dunno, it feels a bit too "smoothed out". It just doesn't go hard enough (bold words from a Slovenia stan, I know).

Greece The most remarkable thing about this entry for me is that I've been watching Eurovision for longer than Victor has been alive.

Iceland Wish Diljá stuck with the Icelandic version.

Ireland I didn't mind We Are One at first but with every listen it just kept getting worse. This is such a formulaic, cliche, cheesy love-love-peace-peace wet napkin of a song. I've already complained about Portion Boys making a generic "eurovision unity anthem" for UMK but at least they tried to be funny. This one feels like a lazy attempt to game the system WITHOUT KNOWING HOW THAT SYSTEM ACTUALLY WORKS.

Israel My god, so much hype before the song's release and we got this? There are so many parts in this song but somehow forgot to put in a proper chorus, it's like Sekret all over again.

Italy L'essenziale is the one Italian ESC song that I always forget about. And now Due Vite is bound to join it. Eh, at least my mom loves it.

Latvia Didn't care about it when the Supernova songs first dropped, but now I'm vibing with it so much.

Lithuania It's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The "Čiūto tūto"s saved it from being totally forgettable.

Malta Somehow they've managed to find a half-decent song in the pile of garbage that was MESC. It's alright but I wish that I liked it more.

Moldova So "token pagan rave song of the year" is a thing now, huh? Glad to see Pasha's back.

The Netherlands It starts off really boring, but picks up around the second verse and becomes pretty good by the end.

Norway I think I like it but for some reason, my brain doesn't register it as a song??? It's hard to explain, but I don't see Queen of Kings as something you would listen to without some kind of visuals.

Poland Ughhhh. It's basically impossible to judge Solo on its own merit, but I'll try. And my impartial judgment is: I don't like it. Rigged selection or not, I just hate this kind of songs in general.

Portugal One of those songs that I like a lot but don't have anything specific to say about.

Romania The song's okay, and the vocals are good, but the staging is just beyond tacky. Dude, you can't pull off this type of cool, sexy image while looking like a wimpy history major freshman who barely ever shows up to class.

San Marino ... I'm a Piqued Jacks apologist now. Yeah, the lyrics are cringe, but the music? I enjoy it absolutely unironically.

Serbia "I just wanna close my eyes And just get it over with"

Yeah, dude, me too. The most relatable song of the year.

Slovenia I've jumped on the Joker Out hype train as soon as they were announced as Slovenia's participants and I'm riding that train all the way to Liverpool. Favorite song of the year.

Spain Hey, spaniards have finally gotten an artsy song about motherhood as their ESC entry! I have similar feelings about Eaea as I did about In Corpore Sano last year: absolutely mesmerizing on stage, but not something I would listen to casually.

Sweden She's gonna win, ain't she? I mean, Tattoo is fine, and the staging elevates it immensely, but it's such a predictable winner. I want more INTRIGUE, okay?

Switzerland Oh wow, boring AND tone-deaf? Switzerland is breaking new ground this year. I initially placed Watergun 31st but since then it sunk to the very bottom. Like, someone wrote this song, sat on it for several years, and decided that NOW is the best time to send it to Eurovision. Nothing against Remo, but "war bad, i don't want to go to war :c" is uhhh, rich coming from someone living in fucking Switzerland.

Ukraine I can't shake the thought that they first came up with a standard "I'm so cool, you can't hurt me, idgaf" song and then retroactively tried to give it a deeper meaning.

United Kingdom I don't even think it's a bad song and yet I lowkey hate it. It's the beat, it's driving me nuts for some reason. People hate the spoken word part, but I like it because you don't hear that bloody "dun-da-da-dun" for once.

[alexenglish]

SKZ REPLAY (new songs) LISTEN THROUGH 💛💫📣💫💛

CONNECTED - this is SUUUUCH A CHAN SONG. WE’RE CONNECTED IN WAYS THAT ARE UNDENIABLE [EDM NOISES] WE’RE HORNY AND HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER [MORE EDM NOISES] obsessed with this, i need this on a festival setlist IMMEDIATELY. you know how many rave babes would lose their mind of WE’RE CONNECTED [DANCE DROP] the song structure is perfect to me. the way the funky percussion in the beginning keeps popping up. CHAN MAKE AN EDM SOLO MIXTAPE PLEASE I NEED IT MY FUNKY LIL RAVE BOY

LIMBO - joining the ranks of break up songs that are actually about when your best friend dies at a young age and you thought you had a forever of friendship ahead of you and you have to reconcile with all the things you never told her, all the ways you were distant when you shouldn’t have been, the ways you can never make it up to her because she’s gone. i love the way the chorus is so shouty and the drums are SO energetic. the contrast between the chorus and the verses is striking!! the prechorus building to the volume of the chorus is soooo [chef’s kiss] GET INTO IT SONG STRUCTURE.

DOODLE - SHOVES IT IN MY FUCKING MOUTH I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE HOW THIS IS GUNNA SOUND ON MY SUBS. THE PRODUCTION I’LL LITERALLY FUCKING LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND WHO DOES IT LIKE SEO CHANGBIN!!!! creating a playlist in my mind that’s like uhhh bewhy’s the mainland & the greatest into skz 3racha into changbin doodle, there’s like fucking little vibrating zipperY rumbly noise that is SOOOOO sexy. THE FUCKING SEESAWING HIGH NOISE, THE MARKER SCRATCHES, THE WAY CHANGBIN RIDES THE BEAT. WHEN THE SONG CRASHES LIKE ALL A BOX OF MARKERS IS POURING OUT ONTO A TABLE/FLOOR AND IT CHANGES COMPLETELY HE STARTS GOING FUCKING CRAZZZZY OVER THE TOP AND THEN IT GOES BACK !!! THE FACT THAT HE DREW OUT THE CHORUS A FEW MORE LINES AT THE END IS FUCKING PERFECT I’LL KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH SEO CHANGBIN

LOVE UNTOLD - I’ll fucking lose my mind, I’ll lose my GODDAMN ENTIRE MIND. the fact that love untold has lyric parallels to wish you back is ENOUGH but the fact that the fucking melody and production and structure is SOOOO similar is also FUCKING CRAZYMAKING. imagine you listen to love untold and wish you back one after another three times in a row like i just did and LOSE YOUR ENTIRE BRAIN PAN like i just did. hyunsung!!!!!!!!! are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!! AFTER BECOMING SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU, I’M BECOMING SOMEONE WHO LOVES MYSELF.

RUN - i love how run fits with connected, like they could both be on chan’s edm mixtape and i support that. i love how old the song is, i love how jisung said in 2019 he was someone who wanted to run away and now he’s someone who wants to run towards. what a little vibey baby!! this is gunna sound sooooo good in my car.

DEEP END - i’m like SOOOOO obsessed with the way this song is so perfectly felix. the way it’s so self-contained outside the sound of the album, like it has SUCH a strong sense of identity. some parts of this are so billie eilish, the vocal layering and reverb, so isn’t it lovely. he’s showing VOCAL RANGE. my fave is his midrange, especially singing. in like...every song, i can mostly always do without falsetto (unless it’s like...zayn tbh) but that’s personal preference, i’m OBSESSED with the way he slides so effortlessly between depths. high to low and everything in between. his voice is so unique and flexible and he sings with SUCH expression. INDULGE THIS MORE. GIVE HIM MORE LINES.

STARS AND RAINDROPS - you beautiful talented bitch. i LOVE the tempo of this song. it’s a VIBE. HIS VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY. he has it ALL. energy! brightness! line delivery! a vibe! a bop!!! kim seungmin!!! [dog dancing] THE FUCKING CHORDS TRAILING OFF AT THE END ARE SOOOO EARLY 00S ALT ROCK GUITAR MUSIC I’M GUNNA BITE SOME ONE

HUG ME - iyenie you are sooooo fucking iyenie, he said y’all are singing about ROMANCE? COUNT ME OUT? LET’S HAVE A HUG. god how much ammunition did he just give all his ‘desperate for jeongin skinship’ members. i can HEAR hyunjin’s voice saying ‘I GIVE YOU A HUG OH BABY’ and latching onto that bread while jeongin regrets his entire life. ANYWAY I LOVE THE LIL BASS(?) MELODY LINE THAT RUNS THROUGH THIS. REPLICATED IT ON A DOUBLE BASS, GIVE THIS A BRASS COVER. i love how vocalracha are so in sync. you could just smack this and stars n raindrops and can’t stop all on the same playlist and the vibes will vibe.

doodle is my fave.

okay now i’m going to listen to i got it on repeat for the foreseeable future BLESS.

[maxwell-grant]

 🎶✨ When you get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. Then, send this ask/tag 10 of your favourite followers ✨🎶

tagged by @artbyblastweave. Thanks! Well now I have to curate my playlists for this so I don’t look like some kind of dweeb plugged into videogame music and Youtube instrumental-only recs 24/7, what would the neighbors say?

Rejoice by Devin Townsend

I’ve been paying more attention to the rest of Townsend’s discography and I’ve been really loving it, been listening to Z² a bit lately and I’m highlighting Rejoice in particular. I got a new job recently, and it’s a really good job, I really really need the money, but it also takes 2-3 hours of subway/bus surfing to get to, which involves a lot of walking, which I usually enjoy doing except I'm usually racing on a schedule, and ever since I twisted my ankle a couple years ago I’ve been dealing with chronic pain that's gotten so much fucking worse since I took this job, feels like daggers stuck in both of my feet all day, so that part of the chorus that goes “IT HURTS, SO MUCH” tends to be pretty cathartic to listen to in the ride. Because yeah, it fucking hurts Mr Ziltoid, thank you for screaming that with a cool backing track, limping home feels way less shitty with cool music as added fuel.

-O U T - O F - I D E A S - by Dankmus

Good YTPMVs just scratch an itch nothing else does. Generally the better YTPMVs come from sickos who painstakingly sample and edit every little scrap of sound the source material gives them, like iteachvader who goes through the most batshit lengths to cannibalize ASotH into a uniquely consistent musical soundboard, but Dankmus is closer to those that use the source as added spice for a whole new instrumentation, which is usually less fun, but he’s doing on such an absurd level of quality. He makes the most hypnotically catchy music with Simpsons meme soundbits intertwined inseparably and it works so marvelously. The vocals and synth of this one in particular get stuck in my head a lot.

Iron Horse / No Man’s Land by Mean Mary, couldn’t pick one

Stumbled onto these by sheer accident looking for songs to match WIP-specific keywords. Banjos tend to be associated so frequently as a comedy instrument but every now and then something like this knocks you over with sheer skill and mood alone. Really love her voice and enunciation, her songs are wonderful instrumentals even without it but her voice is so great, so full of character, so dramatic. She’s very quickly become one of my favorite vocalists to listen to.

Confessions Part II (feat Colin Stetson) by BADBADNOTGOOD

Some of the punchier tracks of BBNG are music for when you need to absolutely and completely need to get your brain hotwired enough to willpower through sewage. They play the soundtracks that manifest when you need to groove while your eyeballs are twiching and sparks fly off your temples and your hands grip the desk and the work is just not gonna fucking end anytime soon but you’re not quitting now, and then when the saxophones start blaring nonstop it’s like they’re screaming and roaring and raving the way you wish you could do right now, and then they hit you with a nice spitzy beat that makes it a little easier to put up with the next minutes or so (is spitzy even a term? Probably not, but it feels right for them), and the music dips into one layered intensity after another and then it grabs your head and shakes it loose and makes it feel like any second now your spine is gonna spring out of your neck like a snake nut can and somehow, it feels like that would be a nice thing to happen that might even fix your back and hey, I feel better now.

Boi Luzeiro por Cordel do Fogo Encantado

Putting links to both the audio as well as a live performance, audio quality’s different but watching the performers go wild on drums and one vocalist taking center shmooving with a pandero at hand is indispensable (to not spoil the ending as well). I’ve been trying lately to branch out tastes and listen to more Brazilian music and I really enjoy northeastern Brazil styles, feels like rediscovering something I always liked and never really had any reason to not listen to more. Not sure it translates too well into English but I really love the song’s concept and lyrics, love the cordel theme the band uses, love the drums and beat ramping up intensity, love the vocals, love the progression, VEM TACAR FOGO NO MUNDO, EI HEI-EI HEI - QUANDO O DIA NASCER E MORRER, EI HEI-EI HEI, QUANDO O DIA NASCER E MORREEEER. Maracatu music just hits differently and I’ve been missing out big time.

tagging @krinsbez, @jcogginsa, @deathchrist2000, @zoanzon, @mirrorfalls, @irregularjohnnywiggins, @about-faces, @totallynotagentphilcoulson, @khancrackers, @thedeathalchemist