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thornedrose44 · 3 years

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Ends of the Earth (Part 2)

Part One or read on AO3

“Lena?”

That was her first word, unsurprisingly, when she woke up after fending off the Children of the Earth. It was the only word she would ever speak as she drifted in and out of consciousness following her exposure to kryptonite over the course of three weeks. That in-and-out existence consisted of little more than fragmented memories of disjointed conversations and dodged questions overshadowed by the ever-present pain of her body healing itself after being pushed past its limits.

“Hey, hey, there… how are you feeling?” Alex soothed coming slowly into view as Kara’s eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the sunlamps for maybe the second or was it third… or maybe even fifth time...

“Thirsty…” Kara croaked out through dry lips. ��And… pain…” Kara admitted, everything aching in a way it never had before.

“Here.” A straw was gently pressed against her lips, and she felt blissful water coat her mouth and throat. Kara was pretty sure it was the greatest drink of water she had ever had.

“Lena? Where’s Lena?” Kara repeated, her voice stronger now.

“Just rest for now, okay?” Alex requested, plumping the pillows behind Kara before ducking her head and fiddling with the machine at the side of the bed to increase Kara’s dose of analgesic which was effective at rapidly lulling the kryptonian back to dreamless, painless sleep.

The day eventually came where Kara was awake longer than a couple of minutes, where the ache was more of a residual hum than anything else and Kara’s mind was sharp enough to push for answers instead of being deterred by Alex and Eliza’s methods of dodging.

When the day came and Kara was given the truth, she would reflect back fleetingly on those three weeks of constant pain and recovery where she had little grasp of her own reality and wish, wish with everything she had, to go back to that state of being. Because this… the pain Kara felt on that day when she was presented with her new reality obliterated every other pain she had ever experienced, rendering them little more than stubbed toes in comparison.

“The portal wasn’t stable… you know that the power stabilisers weren’t in place yet; it required active management to prevent it going critical.”

“She stayed behind… she kept the portal open so that we… Kara, I’m so sorry...”

“It was unstable, it's… it’s very likely the portal exploded and… It would have been quick...”

“She said… she said… to tell you to be happy… Kara, she also… she also said something about looking forward to a sunset... Kara?”

“Kara? Say something, please…”

“Kara?”

She stopped then. It was as if she ceased to exist.

How could she exist when she no longer had a heart in her chest?

Here she was on a whole new planet, and Kara couldn’t find the strength to get up and go see it.

She lived in her mind, going relentlessly over her memories of Lena, lost to a past she would do anything to change with absolutely no interest in building a future.

She would do things differently if she could. (So many things.)

Kara sometimes wondered if she counted - her regrets versus the choices she would make again - which way the scales would tip…

There was a reason she never counted.

Kara knew that she was rather young to have so many regrets, so much weight on her shoulders and experiences that would scar her for the rest of her life.

But, if she had to pick… if someone came to her and said there was one thing in her life she could change… it would be Lena.

The problem, however, was that she didn’t know what specific choice or moment to change… there were too many options. So many of her snap decisions and cowardly actions had inflicted wounds on the youngest Luthor that would haunt Kara far worse than any of her own trauma could ever hope to.

She’d seen the story play out differently thanks to Mxyzptlk - but she doubted those versions, especially now after seeing how the future was more liquid than solid, able to change, fluctuate and bend around your fingers with only the smallest shift. Mxyzptlk had shown her some potential outcomes of different choices but that didn’t make them the only outcomes.

The obvious history rewrite would be to have told Lena her true identity far earlier but if Kara was honest with herself as she tried to be in all matters related to Lena - because Kara refused to sully a single memory or thought she had of Lena with falsehoods - telling Lena about Supergirl wasn’t what Kara thought about most whilst she laid there in bed rejecting her new reality.

Her daydreams and fantasies didn’t centre around Supergirl.

Kara refused to boil everything between her and Lena down to Lena’s relationship with only a single strand of her identity. It was Kara Zor-El and Lena that mattered, everything else was just decoration atop that foundation.

The change Kara would enact, if given the chance, could have taken place at any time, during any one of her interactions with Lena.

If Kara could do everything again… she would make sure that this time around she told Lena that she loved her. (Explicitly stated it rather than hint around it with pretty words.)

Truly and deeply loved her.

That Kara’s heart hadn’t been beating correctly in her chest, didn’t know what its actual purpose was other than to pump blood through her veins, until she met Lena. That there were parts of herself that only Lena could access, parts of herself that only Lena would ever see.

She knew that declaring her love for Lena during their very first meeting would be too soon, too intense but she should have at least realised what the fluttering of her heart really meant, instead of presuming it was anxiety about meeting a Luthor. She should have known what was really happening and acted on it as her friendship with Lena blossomed, instead of assuming the butterflies in her stomach were nerves about lying. She should have seen Lena’s early romantic gestures (flowers and galas with potstickers) for what they really were, rather than running towards a man, that whilst good and kind, didn’t make her heart swell as it struggled to comprehend everything Lena made her feel.

By the time Kara actually realised what her heart had been screaming and begging for her to understand, she was trapped and tied up around a web of lies so thick and all consuming that she didn’t know how to get out from under them.

But then, inevitably, came the truth, (far, far, far too late) and the subsequent loss of Lena.

That hurt.

It wounded Kara in a way she’d never been wounded before. And with any injury you’d never experienced, Kara - likewise - didn't know how to treat it. Didn’t realise how she poked and prodded at it merely made it bleed even more fervently. She then tried to erase it, rid herself of the organ (her heart) in its entirety - the ‘villain’ serving as a scalpel designed to free herself of the wound that refused to heal.

When her heart returned to her, it was beaten, withdrawn, and Kara didn’t know how to accept it back, how to fit it back inside of her chest.

It was awkward between her and Lena now. In a way it had never been before.

It was Kelly that put it all into perspective, helped Kara see the damage wrought on her heart, helped slot it back into place, though it now had jagged edges that kept catching and digging with every movement. It was Kelly that explained abuse victims, how they sadly returned to their abusers, how Lena had done just that after finding out that her attempt at escape had merely led her back to the same pain the Luthors had inflicted over and over again. Lena’s second escape, second show of strength was incredible and should be admired, not punished.

Kara and the Superfriends had hung their heads in shame.

Brainy was the first to bridge the gap, him and Lena having always shared an understanding that no one else could touch. Two souls, told to fear themselves but constantly striving to prove themselves worthy.

Kara would hover nearby, struggling with the desire to reach out but the guilt of harm already inflicted keeping her away and then… then…

It was the end of the world and Kara told herself that everything else could wait.

That they could wait.

It never should have been soon, or later, or almost…

It should have been now…

This moment, right now!

Why did they keep fucking waiting?

All it did was result in missed opportunity after missed opportunity until there were no more ‘soon’s to come, and there would be no more ‘now’s to seize… all that was left was too late.

Too fucking late.

There were some memories that stood out more than others, the ones where they planned their future, the ones where Lena had bared herself to Kara in a way that made Kara feel so privileged, the ones where they had been so, so, so close to crossing that final gap between them and formally gifting each other their hearts wrapped lovingly and addressed solely to one another. It was those memories that Kara played on endless repeat as Alex shook her, screamed for her to come back, to snap out of her catatonic shell…

“On the coast.” Lena had replied when Kara had asked where she wanted to live when they arrived at their new home.

“I didn’t think you liked the beach?” Kara murmured, shuffling closer and closer until Lena’s back was pressed right against Kara’s front, Kara’s arms moving to wrap around Lena’s middle, just wanting to hold her close as she continued to work tirelessly.

“I didn’t say beach…” Lena hummed, glancing back over her shoulder with a teasing twinkle in her green eyes that had Kara bending her head down to bury her nose in long black hair that smelled of citrus - the generic shampoo that had been given out to everyone in the bunker. “I lived on the coast in Ireland…” Lena revealed, after a beat, her voice turning soft and sombre as it always did when she spoke of her mother and her life before the Luthors, causing Kara’s arms to gently squeeze Lena closer. “There were shingle beaches and cliffs… I just liked being able to hear the sound of the ocean. The waves hitting the shore… it was comforting.”

“Then a house on the coast you shall have.” Kara promised sincerely.

Lena laughed at that, “Oh, really? Are you going to build one for me?”

“No...” Kara replied, placing a quick kiss to the side of Lena’s head, “I’m going to build one for the both of us.” Lena stilled in her arms, her fingers moving away from the keyboard she had been typing on so that she could lay them over the top of Kara’s hands.

“Do you really want that?” Lena asked, quiet and disbelieving.

“Look at us, at this moment.” Kara requested, fingers flexing so that they interlaced with Lena’s easily. “I just want to be wherever you are.”

“Me too.” Lena replied, turning her head so that she could rest her forehead against Kara’s jaw, both of their eyes fluttering closed as they relished those rare few minutes that they could actually give solely to each other.

“It’s too much, sometimes…” Lena muttered, her hands shaking, after another long day, as she tried and failed to undo the buttons of her shirt so that she could finally slip into bed and sleep for a mere handful of hours before duty required her blood, sweat and tears all over again.

“I know.” Kara soothed, moving to kneel in front of Lena so that her own hands could reach out and gently take over the task. Kara’s fingers moved slowly, undoing each button with as much care as possible, her blue eyes politely averted as pale skin steadily became more and more visible.

“It shouldn’t be me.” Lena whispered into the stillness, green eyes boring into blue as Kara tucked her fingers underneath the shoulders of Lena’s crisp white shirt to push it off and down her arms. “I get that they need my mind and my intelligence, I get that, I do… but they are looking at me to…” Lena trailed off, gaze going distant.

“To?” Kara prompted, folding the shirt with precise movements before retrieving her soft Midvale High School shirt that Lena had taken to sleeping in, holding it up for Lena to push her arms tiredly through.

“Inspire…” Lena huffed as she pushed her head through the neck-hole. “Me. The most cynical person alive.”

“That’s not true.” Kara asserted earning her a disbelieving eyebrow raise that had her shaking her head ruefully. “Okay, it’s somewhat true.” Kara admitted earning her a giggle of amusement that warmed Kara’s heart as she shifted to lay down on her side of the cot, opening her arms for Lena to fall into.

“But it's not a bad thing. Not by a long shot.” Kara insisted seriously. “If it wasn’t for you, we would still be trying to fix the sun and billions of lives would have been lost whilst we accepted that we had to find another way. You’re not a cynic, though. I’ve watched you encounter stumbling block after stumbling block and you still…” Kara’s eyes roved over Lena’s fatigued, yet ever beautiful face, with wonder in her eyes. “Keep going… keep searching for a solution. A cynic wouldn’t do that. Couldn’t do that. You keep yourself grounded but you keep your eyes skywards. You inspire but you don’t lie. That’s what they did on Krypton, they liked sweet lies more than the harsh truth. You’re a balance of both.”

“Such tender words.” Lena remarked as a solitary index finger moved to tap affectionately against Kara’s lips.

“True words.” Kara corrected, puckering her lips to press something resembling a kiss to Lena’s finger, “If I was still leading... we would still be on the surface, my blind hope damning us all…”

Lena shook her head at that, harsh and firm, her hand moving to fully cup Kara’s face, “You’re wrong. So wrong.”

“How so?”

“Firstly, that’s not what it is…” Lena explained, her legs tangling with Kara’s as Kara pulled the blanket over the both of them, “blind hope...”

“What is it, then?”

Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully as the hand on Kara’s cheek moved to comb through blonde hair, “Faith.”

“Faith?” Kara repeated, signature crease appearing between her brows at the term.

“Yes and it's a beautiful thing.” Lena breathed reverently, “It's probably the best thing about you.”

“I thought that was my blue eyes and handsome good looks.” Kara smirked, knowing if she leant into the moment they had created (sincere and loving), she wouldn’t be able to wait anymore… that soon wasn’t going to cut it.

“That’s second and third place, respectively.” Lena shot back immediately, fingers stilling for only a second before continuing their endless movement through Kara’s hair.

“It’s still blind.” Kara said, returning to the topic, now more confident that she could rein in her desire for the time being. “Just as likely to lead to a miracle as it would off a cliff.”

“Maybe.” Lena agreed, “But faith, in the face of insurmountable odds, is when the impossible happens.” Lena countered as she settled further into Kara’s warm embrace, cold nose pressed against a spot just underneath Kara’s jaw. “I would have given up if it wasn’t for you, a long time ago.”

“I’m glad my ability to make the perfect coffee has paid off in some way.” Kara joked.

“Don’t do that. Don’t minimise yourself.” Lena said, tone hard and serious, making Kara tense for a fleeting moment. “The only reason I keep going after each stumbling block is because of you. Because you believe that I can do it.” Lena revealed, her voice rising an octave to keep back the sting of tears. “Your unshakeable faith in me, gives me the strength to make the impossible happen. Don’t you dare ridicule it. Because I need it, Kara.” Lena declared, lifting her head so that Kara could see the watery sheen magnifying vibrant green eyes. “I need you to have faith in me because most days it's the only thing keeping me going.”

Kara sat up for the first time then, head ringing with the memory of Lena’s words.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara just had to have faith. And if there was one thing that Kara had more faith in than anything else in the universe, it was Lena.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara whispered the mantra to herself over and over again as she staggered to her feet. Repeated it endlessly until it tattooed itself onto the walls of the empty chasm where her heart should be.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

The words fuelled her faith and her faith fuelled the words like an endless repeating cycle as she walked out of her room and got to work.

“Lena is alive and she’s waiting.” Kara declared to Brainy, who blinked at her rapidly in surprise at the statement and her unexpected appearance after being unresponsive for over a month.

“How can you be sure?” Brainy questioned, choosing to ignore the multitude of questions related to Kara’s sudden revival.

“I can’t, but I am.” Kara replied, falling into the chair opposite humanity’s new chief scientist. “How do we save her?”

Brainy pursed his lips and remained silent for a long time, clearly trying to decide if he should push back against Kara’s assertion before nodding once in acceptance. “Short answer, I don’t know.” Brainy answered honestly. “Long answer, another transmat portal.”

“Okay, then let’s build one.” Kara demanded, banging a clenched fist against an open palm.

“If only it was that easy.” Brainy laughed drily, shaking his head in resignation.

Kara’s jaw clenched in determination, “Tell me what the problems are.”

“Kara, I don’t think-” Brainy started softly, beginning the gentle deterrence and refusal that Kara was now intimately familiar with, having come straight from meeting the leaders of humanity (which had now formed an official government - The Terran Coalition).

“Now, Brainy.” Kara ordered coldly, her expression darkening.

Brainy flinched in shock at the tone and command, but recovered quickly, getting to his feet to write on a nearby whiteboard. The first word he wrote in big block capitals was ‘MATERIALS’.

“Firstly, we don’t have the materials to construct another transmat portal. We depleted our supply of a number of rare elements and compounds that were present on Earth but we don’t know if they are here on Terra Nova. If they’re not, we would need to fully re-design the portal from the ground up to take into consideration the impact of substitutions.”

“Which brings us onto the next issue.” Brainy continued, adding another word just below the first one, ‘KNOWLEDGE’. “Lena knew the portals better than anyone, the rest of us understood the particular portal design that we used and different parts of the underlying theory but it was only Lena that truly understood the full picture. I, and the scientists that worked closely with Lena, have now been allocated to separate projects.” Brainy explained, gesturing around the lab they were currently sat in that had only one or two familiar faces that Kara recognised from all the time she spent at Lena’s side. “Projects to ensure we can safely make Terra Nova our home, projects that serve the whole of humanity.” Brainy grimaced as he stated a truth Kara was acutely aware of from her lengthy discussion with the Coalition that had resulted in neither her nor them walking away happy. “The leaders won’t allow time and resources to be pulled away to work on this. They just won’t. But let’s say you can create an entirely new portal from scratch with only a shoe-string budget and support… you then reach the biggest issue… One that even Lena never got around to solving.”

“What?” Kara prompted, blue eyes narrowing at this.

“Precision.” Brainy wrote it out in big, block letters adding it to the list. “For the portals we used, we were just aiming for a planet, even just the general vicinity of space around the planet. We didn’t have to ensure the portals adjusted to remain in a fixed location on the other side, we just had to make them not overlap. We shot the transports through and then let them finish off the journey. To get back to Lena and save her… you would need absolute precision. You would need to open it up within the bunker. You would need it to adjust to remain in that location, which would massively increase the amount of energy required to open it. Opening it anywhere else could put you and anyone that goes through in massive danger and there would be no way to get to Lena without putting her in danger either.” Brainy hung his head, capping his marker pen and moved forward to squeeze Kara’s shoulder comfortingly, “I’m sorry, Kara. But even if-”

“Materials. Knowledge. Precision.” Kara repeated firmly, gaze fixed with steely determination on the words scrawled across the board. Three words stopping her from getting Lena back. Three herculean tasks that Kara was ready to dedicate herself to mind, body and soul.

Lena had told her once that she could make Kara an expert in ten years.

Kara intended to prove that wrong - she would do it quicker than that, she had to.

Whilst she might not have Lena to teach her, she did have one hell of an incentive.

Terra Nova was without a doubt a beautiful planet. Lush forests, snow peaked mountains, tropical jungles and enticing black-sand beaches. It lacked a desert but the majority of people weren't too disappointed to find that particular biome missing.

The first city of Terra Nova was named after humanity's saviour, as it should be. The Coalition had approached Kara about it, wise enough to know that any slight, accidental or otherwise, against the (presumed deceased) youngest Luthor would provoke the retired hero. They were originally planning something like Luthorton but Kara had shot that down, point blank telling them that if they wanted to honour Lena it should be Lena's name that was remembered and not the family that had betrayed her.

Lenacity (pronounced like tenacity) would forever be known as the first city of Terra Nova, to forever serve as a beacon of hope to humanity. There was even a statue in Lena's honour erected in the very centre of the city.

Not that Kara had ever seen it, nor did she attend the dedication ceremony; she barely even read the announcement proclaiming the city's name.

Humanity built itself a new home, creating infrastructure and cities. Rebuilding themselves anew and making this planet truly theirs in a far more sustainable manner than on Earth - they now knew the pitfalls of industrialization and the Coalition made sure to avoid them this time around with scientists like Briany serving as their guide.

Kara, though, only had a vague awareness of the world being built up around her. She moved from her bed in the makeshift hospital to a back-room in Brainy’s lab to, eventually, her own lab inside Lenacity University - the Coalition arranging her a workspace and position as a thank you for her service during the end of the Earth.

Kara had a purpose, a purpose driven by seven words that Kara would mutter under her breath whenever her head began to ache as she struggled her way through textbooks and theorems…

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara's life revolved around this one goal to the exclusion of all else. She barely ate and she only slept when her mind simply could not go on.

She was weaker here, on Terra Nova. And not just in the figurative sense (her soul and mind torn asunder at the loss of her heart). She still had her powers but they weren’t the same as they were on Earth. The atmosphere and Sun on Terra Nova was different to Earth so it wasn’t completely unexpected.

She was still stronger than a human being, could still lift a car but not a bus.

She was faster than a human being, but not faster than a bullet.

Her hearing was still enhanced; she could hear the heartbeats of people in the room but it took considerable concentration now, and anything more than a street away was near impossible.

Heat vision was still there but attenuated; she could still heat up a coffee after it had gone cold but she wasn’t going to be destroying a space-ship anytime soon.

Flight was the biggest loss. It was still there but it was tiring now. It used to be easy, seamless but flying a considerable distance was like running a half-marathon after only minimal prep.

There were other effects of her powers being diminished, her golden complexion and hair lost their sun-kissed experience - hair turning a darker blonde and skin slightly paler.

Whilst Kara never did anything physically demanding, nothing of interest on this planet to prompt her to move, at least in those early years (later years spent seeking the exact right materials for her plans exposed her to a number of wondrous sights that had little impact on the hero focused on her singular task), she was not taking care of herself.

She now understood what Lena went through during those two years, why it was so hard to get her to stop and just take care of herself.

Stopping to eat, sleep or relax in anyway required justification. Justifying time that could be spent helping someone else - saving someone else - on an activity that felt selfish.

It was probably something Kara should have experienced more of during her time as Supergirl, but she had never struggled to put distance between herself and that role. Had never really hesitated to accept invitations to karaoke and sister nights. It was different now, though, now Kara was no longer justifying the time delay to some unknown randomer who may or may not need saving… now she was justifying it to Lena.

Lena, who was trapped in a bleak bunker all alone.

Lena, who probably thought no one was coming to save her.

The weight fell off Kara, her muscles steadily eaten away, dark bags under her eyes becoming a permanent feature and her hair hastily cut short and jagged to minimise the care she had to give it.

The only thing that saved Kara from the damage she was slowly inflicting on herself was Alex.

That first year, Alex kept her distance - accepting Kara’s casual dismissals without push-back and her usual assertiveness. It wasn’t just Kara that had been changed by their permanent departure from Earth. The fire in Alex’s eyes had dimmed, her assertiveness tempered and her overall demeanour more quiet and withdrawn. Kara sympathised (distantly), knowing what it was like to leave her home behind but feeling that Kelly, Eliza and the other Superfriends would be a much more effective support system compared to anything Kara could offer at that time.

Alex would stop by every now and again, hands clasped behind her back, hovering timidly in the doorway, making her various pleas, “Kara, you need to eat.”

“I can’t right now, why don’t you go have lunch with Kelly?” That was Kara’s go to rejection, figuring it would at least encourage Alex to live her life, she deserved to. No point dragging Alex down with her.

Alex would nod once and hesitantly walk away, popping back up a week later with a plate of food in her hands that she would place in a rare empty space on Kara’s desk

“Hey-”, Alex would begin, seeking to break through Kara’s focus.

“Not now.” Kara would reply simply, no sharpness or venom to it, just a simple refusal.

Kara couldn’t be what Alex needed. She had no heart in her chest and she didn’t want to expose Alex to the coldness that now resided in the space it once occupied.

Kara had to get Lena back. Once she got Lena back, she could be herself again. Could feel and support like she always did before.

“Alex, just… leave me alone.” Kara requested before Alex even had a chance to say a word.

It was a year of this. Kara retreating further and further into herself and her work; Alex on the outside, uncertain of how to reach her. Tentative and nervous when her relationship with Kara had been the one she was most certain of.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology was new and managed to get Kara to cast a curious glance over her shoulder to see Alex, head dropped, red hair forming a barrier to her expression and hands curled into painful fists at her sides as she trembled in the doorway.

“Alex, I don’t really have time for this-” Kara began, already turning away when...

“I know you blame me…” Alex whispered, her voice cracking in a way that Kara had never heard before.

That jerked Kara back, brought her momentarily back to her own body, out of her half-life existence as she turned back round to actually look at her sister for the first time in… months. She looked distraught. Brown eyes broken and crying, lips bitten and raw, her complexion pale and her entire being exuding exhaustion.

“Blame you? Blame you for what?” Kara questioned in total confusion, moving towards her sister without conscious thought.

“For Lena.” Alex gasped, wrapping her arms tightly around own body protectively, “I… I failed her and I failed you.”

Kara’s jaw dropped, her stomach sinking like lead through the floor as the realisation punched her squarely in the gut. Alex hadn’t been grieving for Earth, she had been punishing herself. Punishing herself for Lena and by extension what Kara had turned into.

“Alex… no… I don’t…” Kara stammered, reaching out with shy fingers that had forgotten what it was like to make contact with another being. “Is that what you think?”

“You can barely look at me.” Alex cried, cringing in shame and guilt… and that…

It’s awful to admit, but it was the first time Kara felt something other than hollow. After a year of deadened emotion, Kara remembered how to feel. Felt the barrier she had unknowingly crafted around herself cracking open just a slither. Just enough for her to remember her sister. Her solid ground and most trusted ally. The person who she could always depend on.

“I can barely look at myself.” Alex continued, unaware how her own breakdown was reviving her sister back from her empty shell. “You love her so much and I... I couldn’t save her for you. You’ve lost so much and I now understand a fraction of that, just a tiny fraction and… I should have saved her. She was my friend, too. And she… she didn’t even… she gave so much and I couldn’t…”

“Alex, oh Rao, no… no… no…” Kara murmured, finally stepping forward to wrap her arms around her sister that she had been hurting without realising. Everytime she had pushed Alex away in a bid to shield her from her emptiness, she had merely been reinforcing to Alex the misconception that she was to blame. “Come here. It wasn’t your fault, okay? It was mine. I left her side…”

“No! Kara!” Alex rejected loudly, even as her arms wrapped tightly around Kara in return. “No. You left her side because of me. Because I asked for Supergirl-”

“How long have you been carrying this?” Kara asked sadly, “How long?”

“Since we went through the portal.” Alex admitted, burying her face into Kara’s shoulder.

“Is that why… you thought I hated you?” Kara whispered as the sheer awfulness of it all threatened to overwhelm her.

“I would, if I was you…” Alex murmured.

“No, Alex never…” Kara refuted, not believing Alex’s statement in the slightest. She pulled back from the hug (the first hug Kara had since landing on Terra Nova), and wiped the tears off her sister’s cheeks with a brush of her thumb. “I love you, I just I… didn’t think… I didn’t think I could help you… I didn’t think I could give you what you needed…” Kara revealed, shaking her head dismally at her continued failures.

“I didn’t want you to give me anything… I just wanted my sister…” Alex confessed, causing the walls where Kara’s heart should be to clench reliving the phantom pain of being broken. “I’m sorry, too. You needed me as well.” Alex said softly, her gaze taking in Kara’s appearance.

“I’ve been busy,” Kara muttered, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot under the scrutiny.

“Kara, you’re not doing well.” Alex stated bluntly.

Kara knew that she had let certain things slide about herself but they were meaningless in the grand scheme of things. “I need to do this. Lena is alive and she’s waiting.”

“Kara-” Alex began gently.

“Don’t! Don’t tell me I’m wrong!” Kara demanded, stepping back and lifting her chin in defiance. “If you’re not going to help me, fine. But don’t say she’s dead. At least not to my face.”

“I wasn’t.” Alex replied, jaw dropping in shock at Kara’s sudden emotional shift which instead of scaring Alex away only made her brown eyes sharpen with even deeper concern. “I wasn’t, Kara. But you need to look after yourself.”

Kara’s gaze dropped to the floor, frowning harshly but holding her tongue, not wanting to inflict any further hurt on her sister.

“Listen… okay, listen to me.” Alex pleaded. It was her turn now to reach out to Kara, hands rubbing up and down Kara’s biceps to provide comfort, to bridge the gap between them. “You want to save Lena, right? How do you expect to do that if you’re not looking after yourself? You need to eat and sleep. You need to be at your best because that’s what she deserves.” Kara’s head tilted to the side at that, listening attentively. “You need to take time for yourself because… because when you save Lena… you should give her something strong and stable to lean onto, because she’ll need that. You need to look after yourself and your life so that when it's time... you can look after Lena.” Alex bent down catching clouded over blue eyes, deep in thought. “Okay?”

Kara didn’t reply for a long time, her mind whirring with this new perspective. She glanced at her hands that were trembling, remembered how Lena’s hands had shook under the insurmountable pressure and strain thrown on her. Lena deserved steady hands. Someone who didn’t swing from one emotional extreme to another. Someone who was ready for their heart to be returned.

“Okay… for Lena.” Kara breathed out.

Alex smiled at her, warm and tremulous, “Okay… Let’s get you something to eat.”

Kara became an oddity, something people whispered about with those pitiful gazes, like there was something wrong with her that could never be made right. She was a mascot, a joke, a piece of gossip shared and exaggerated, a tall tale told to children to warn them of the dangers of not letting go.

The students at the university would creep to the edge of her lab to get a glimpse of her like it was a rite of passage. Every citizen knew her story. Knew Kara Danvers and Supergirl were one and the same, Kara Zor-El. Knew of the love she held for their Saviour, Lena Luthor. Knew that her sacrifice had destroyed Supergirl and left behind a changed woman that spent her days chasing fairytales.

The kind ones called her eccentric, felt she had more than earned her time away from the spotlight and didn’t judge her for not donning her cape again - Terra Nova didn’t need superheroes anyway.

The cruel ones, who had never suffered hardship or had suffered far too much of it (it was always one extreme or the other) called her delusional and callous for leaving humanity to rebuild on their own without their red-blue hero.

She was no longer Supergirl. No longer Kara Danvers either. To everyone else, she was merely known as a woman trying to get back to Earth to save a ghost. A cautionary tale of a woman who had lost herself believing in something that was impossible.

The Tinman brought to life, seeking his heart that Dorothy had taken back to Kansas with her.

She left her lab now, after that first year of sheer self-destruction, understanding that in her pursuit of a ghost she couldn’t allow herself to become one either, because if Lena was there, waiting and Kara did manage to bring her home, then Kara wanted to have a home ready for her. She wanted to be ready for her.

So Kara leant into the support of her friends, ensured she was there for them, listened to them and gave them time and consideration. In turn, they didn’t pull her away from her work, planned around her experiments and happily came and sat in her lab, filling the air with conversation whilst Kara’s hands worked on pieces of equipment.

Kara’s years went by divided into three sectors, each uneven fraction dedicated to the tasks identified by Brainy at the very start. It took Kara two and a half years to get her knowledge to a decent enough level to truly comprehend the underpinning science and workings of the transmat portal technology. The largest chunk was next, five years on materials.

Whilst Kara’s knowledge had reached a basic level that meant she could stand shoulder to shoulder with Lena’s previous team; re-designing the portal to account for materials no longer accessible required Kara to become an expert and pioneer. No longer memorising the work of others but forging her own path.

Thankfully, her life wasn’t solely anchored by her scientific pursuits, in no small part due to Alex and the Superfriends.

The years were also hallmarked by Kara’s loved ones own lives and their achievements.

Alex and Kelly were married during that second year post arrival on Terra Nova. Alex had been delaying the event until her and Kara were back on the same page. Kara stood as Alex’s maid of honour, the couple were wed on a black sand beach that was as close to Midvale-esque as they were ever going to get.

Following the wedding, Alex, after spending a couple of years providing tactical support to the Coalition, decided to return to medicine in a research-based capacity. The change provided a simpler routine that was more conducive to building a family and Alex (after the loss of her home planet) wanted to feel like she was putting something positive into the world and not just removing the negatives.

The third year saw Brainy and Nia’s engagement. Yet again, Kara stood as maid of honour, for Nia this time - Brainy chose to stand alone, everyone knowing that it would have been Lena standing by his side in that moment and that any substitution would not have measured up to his best friend.

The fourth year was when Alex finally approached Kara about her living situation. There were plenty of houses now, people having settled into their own communities, having staked their claim on their own piece of land. Kara was rich, Lena having left her considerable wealth to Kara that had been translated into the Terra Novan Currency (TNC) - no one was going to deny the saviour their fortune. The Coalition had repeatedly made it clear that Kara would be granted approval for a residence more or less anywhere she pleased. She had yet to take them up on the offer.

She was happy with the small, barely used apartment near the university that she only visited whenever Alex came to inform her she was well overdue a shower.

“You need a home, Kara.” Alex had insisted, putting her foot down when Kara had yet again hosted sister’s night in her lab, having still not furnished her flat with anything resembling a couch. Kara had grumbled and groaned until Alex had pulled out her trump card. “Lena needs a home. When you bring her back, are you really going to make her crash in your lab?”

Kara applied for a piece of land near the coast, an hour’s journey from the city (only a twenty-five minute flight). Building a house there on the cliff where you could hear the water crashing against the rocks became a bonding activity amongst the Superfriends, an activity to bring them all together and away from their demanding jobs. It was the only time Kara felt something close to happiness… contentment. Sitting there on a bench, listening to the waves around a bonfire, sipping a beer with Alex, Kelly, Brainy and Nia (they were occasionally joined by Barry and Iris) talking about everything and nothing.

Lena was a topic that could only be approached when they could tell Kara was settled and hopeful, it was never something to talk about when Kara started to grow morose and restless. They all spoke about the sights they wanted to show Lena, all the stories they would tell her.

They would talk about what Lena might be upto in the bunker, how with all this time she had probably become fluent in nearly every language, mastered the violin, built herself a robot dog, finally got around to watching crappy reality television (that she had promised she would never watch). The suggestions were only ever light and happy. They were all aware that if Lena was alive down there, shut off from the light without hope of being saved, the psychological damage would be severe.

That was the other thing… if…

Kara knew it was only her that truly believed Lena was still alive. Alex was the next most convinced purely because Kara needed her to believe. Brainy and Nia were doubtful but too kind to openly declare their doubts. Kelly played her cards close to her chest, it was hard to tell what she actually believed when it came to Lena’s fate. Her main concern, without a doubt, was Kara’s mental health.

Kara had put all of herself into saving Lena. The only thing keeping her going was saving the youngest Luthor, the only thing that could make Kara look after herself was by linking it to Lena in some way.

Kara knew it wasn’t healthy, knew that if Lena wasn’t alive… she would most likely return to that catatonic state. It was just… she had lost so much… so, so, so much… and losing Lena was just the straw (entire barn of hay) that broke the camel’s back.

It was Kelly that picked Kara up once a week and frog-marched her to see a psychiatrist who was attempting to get Kara to steadily start living for herself and not just for Lena. It was in vain but Kara took onboard the lessons as much as she could.

By the end of the fifth year, Kara’s house (built for her and Lena) was complete. Kara forced herself to fly back there every night, wanting the place to feel warm and lived in and a home.

By the sixth year, Kelly was pregnant and Kara was set to be an aunt any day now.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” Kara reassured her sister for the fourth time. Alex was on speakerphone providing company from afar as Kara ran an experiment with some of the new materials she had recently collected to assess their suitability. They were having a distanced sister’s night, what with Alex wanting to stay at home to look after Kelly, who was set to go into labour any day now. Alex’s nervousness was manifesting itself in her over-preparedness, regularly checking that the route to the hospital was free of traffic every fifteen minutes, that their to-go bag was prepped and that Kara wasn’t running off anywhere on another materials expedition anytime soon.

“Thanks, Kara.” Alex breathed in relief.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Kara questioned.

“No,” Alex sighed defeatedly, “we keep going back and forth. I think we'll know when we meet her, you know? At least I hope so.”

“I’m sure you will.” Kara reassured, peering through a microscope, nimble fingers adjusting the magnification.

“Hey…” Alex said slowly, her tone shy and awkward enough that it earned Kara’s full attention.

“What?”

“Did you and Lena ever…” Alex began softly, her voice trailing off as if the rest of the sentence wasn’t necessary. Kara stayed quiet, eyeing the phone warily, waiting her sister out. She heard the inhale of breath her sister took as if to suck in courage as well as air for what she was about to say next, “Did you and Lena ever talk about kids?”

Kara pursed her lips, and crossed her arms, gaze dropping to the floor, “Lena and I weren’t together.”

“I know…” Alex murmured back, there was a beat, before a whisper, “but did you?”

Kara swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears and ease the phantom pain in her chest, “Yeah… yeah, we did.”

“Ugh… another five minutes.” Kara grumbled, pulling Lena, who was attempting to get up out of their small cot, closer into her body.

“See, I knew your chirpy morning personality was a lie.” Lena chuckled, and Kara’s slumbering heart ached at how exhausted she sounded before the day had even begun.

“You caught me.” Kara whispered, smiling as she nuzzled into Lena’s back. “Sleep is glorious and there is nothing that should interrupt it.”

Kara didn’t need to look at the youngest Luthor’s face to know she was rolling her eyes. “And here I thought you wanted children at some point in the future...”

“Children that respect the sanctity of a good night’s sleep.” Kara replied, letting out a sleepy huff that caused Lena to shiver.

“Good luck with that.” Lena teased, her hands moving to cover Kara’s that were wrapped around her waist. “Your children will be blue-eyed devils.”

“Luke and Lori.” Kara yawned without thinking.

“Hmm?”

“The blue-eyed devils.” Kara explained.

“You’ve already picked out the names?” Lena asked quietly, mildly surprised.

“Not hard, limited options.”

“How so?” Lena laughed, twisting round so that they were nose to nose.

Kara’s closed eyes fluttered upon feeling Lena’s warm breath against her face, she hid her reaction to it with a helpless shrug, “Had to both start with L.”

“L?” Lena scoffed, “Why would they-”

Lena’s voice cut out, realising the answer without needing to ask the question.

Kara opened one eye, catching sight of the shocked, awestruck expression on Lena’s face. “It’s tradition, isn’t it?” Kara murmured shyly.

“Yeah… yeah, it is.” Lena breathed, a tentative smile lighting up her face as she reached out to tuck a lock of golden hair behind Kara’s ear. “I like the names Lori and Luke.”

“You do?” Kara beamed, blue eyes opening fully and twinkling.

“Yeah, they’re the perfect names for our little blue-eyed devils.”

“I can do it.” Kara announced, landing hard and panting heavily causing her group of friends who were gathered around the bonfire outside Kara’s home to jump to their feet.

“Kara, what-” Alex began, holding little Amelia closer to her chest as the toddler reached out with grabby hands for her favourite aunt.

Kara ignored everyone and marched right up to Brainy, declaring wide-eyed and frantic, “I solved all three problems. I can save her.”

Brainy’s expression went slack, his eyes darting around the group which had fallen conspicuously silent. “Kara, I…” He began nervously.

“I know none of you believe me.” Kara said bluntly, finally pointing out the large elephant that was always in attendance whenever Kara interacted with them. “I know that.” Kara sighed, looking around her loved ones with a sad, understanding smile. “I especially know you’re afraid of what happens when that portal opens and I find out that Lena-” Kara shook her head - she had held onto her faith for over nine years now, she was not going to forsake it when she was in the final stretch. “I’m going, regardless. I can have the portal built in a month…” Kara revealed before looking back at Brainy pleadingly, “two weeks if you help me. I know you don’t believe me and I’m not going to ask you to. But I am going to ask you to help me.” Kara’s shoulders caved forwards, as she wrung her hands together on the precipice of actually begging. “Please, please help me…”

Brainy blinked once, let out a shuddering breath and then, “Okay…”

“We’ll all help…” Alex announced stepping forward to squeeze Kara’s shoulder.

“Is that-” Kara started to ask as Brainy stepped forward holding out a familiar red and blue outfit Kara hadn’t laid eyes on for years, hadn’t worn for even longer.

The portal was ready, they were just waiting for the Coalition to divert the required power supply they needed. The Coalition had originally refused to give Kara the increased power she required since they, and the rest of humanity, fully believed Lena to be dead and that Kara’s obsession could only result in disaster - Brainy and Eliza had been the ones to convince them, leveraging their positions as Chief Scientist and Chief Medical Officer to gain their agreement.

“I figured… it was a special occasion.” Brainy murmured, smiling wanely at her.

He and the rest of the Superfriends, including Eliza, had taken two weeks of holiday from their respective jobs so that they could help in whatever they could to get the portal active.

“Thanks, Brainy.” Kara replied sincerely, accepting the familiar outfit and going to get changed.

It didn’t fit as well as it used to.

She was thinner so it hung off in places, and the dark shadows to her face made the colours just that little bit less vibrant than Kara remembered them being. She was glad to be wearing it though. It was what she had worn the last day she had seen Lena over nine years ago. It felt right that she should be wearing it nine years later when they finally reunited.

“You have to promise me something.” Alex said as she stepped up to stand by Kara’s side as Brainy checked over the final calibrations Kara had made, before they turned the portal on. “If she’s… gone… you still need to come back, okay?” Alex demanded; Kara stared at her sister’s profile to see that her expression had hardened in an attempt to hold back a wave of emotion but the tremble to her bottom lip belied how futile the fight was. “I need my sister. I need you. So… no matter what you find… you come back and we’ll figure out the next step together.” Alex glanced over at Kara revealing watery brown eyes. “Promise me. I need you to say it.”

Kara hesitated for a long moment but the thought of inflicting the pain she had experienced after losing Lena on Alex… on little Amelia, gave her the strength to nod once, firm and sure. “I promise, no matter what I’ll come back through.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed out a shuddering breath before pulling Kara into a tight hug and muttering, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Kara replied, wrapping her arms tightly around her sister and knowing that in an hour or so, she would be different.

She would either have her heart back or know, without a doubt, that it had been lost forever.

When she stepped through the portal, a metal wire connecting her to her lab in Terra Nova, she waved once at her family and friends. None of them waved back, all just nodded mournfully.

They were all convinced that Kara would find nothing good on the other side. Convinced that they would lose this tinman version of Kara to something far worse.

They didn’t wave because... who waves at a funeral?

Kara, though, gripped tighter onto her faith.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

And now… now… she was literally mere steps away.

Absence supposedly makes the heart grow fonder, but that wasn’t true in Kara’s case. Her heart had been in stasis, countless lightyears away. Her love was paused. Ready to unfurl and grow the second her heart was returned to her.

“Okay, I got the angle slightly wrong…” Kara admitted with a wince, nowhere near as invincible as she used to be - kryptonite no longer required to inflict damage that a particularly powerful gun or explosion could do.

“You fell face first, didn’t you?” Alex’s voice sassed over the comms line as Kara let out a pained groan.

“Yep, face planted…” Kara lifted her head, disappointed to find herself staring down a dim corridor. She had forgotten how cold the concrete walls of the bunker were after all this time (the bunker had always been warm to Kara, mostly because of how close she always stood to Lena). It was then that Kara noticed the tiny marks carved into the concrete wall; they filled nearly all of the available wall space and ran down the length of the corridor.

“You know you can fly, right?” Alex reminded her, trying far too hard to keep their conversation light, to keep Kara light...

“I know I can fly but I wasn’t thinking about flying and didn’t react in time…” Kara huffed struggling to her knees; turning her head to see if the marks continued down the other side of the corridor, “and-”

The rest of her sentence died right there, turning to ash as she saw a figure at the other end of the corridor watching her.

“Kara, is everything okay? What’s happening?”

Kara knew the scenes in medical dramas where they shocked someone back to life were unrealistic and played for drama more than for accuracy, but… it was the closest description Kara could think of to explain what she went through in that moment.

Her heart was thrown back into her chest and shocked to life.

Lena was standing in front of her.

Lena was alive and she had been waiting.

She looked… looked like a miracle to Kara.

She was even paler now, no regular exposure to sunlight to keep a healthy complexion but other than that… she looked good. She was thinner but not in the same way as Kara. Her curves had receded to be replaced by muscles, her dark hair was still long but tied back in a practical ponytail, white hairs dotted here and there like stylish highlights rather than markers of growing old.

Her green eyes, however, were dimmed and her fingers kept tapping away awkwardly and uncoordinated in a blatant display of a nervous tic. She was wearing a heavily faded Midvale High School shirt, doc martens, worn-out jeans with a heavy duty belt from which various random tools and pieces of machinery were clipped to.

“You’re here… You’re really here…” Kara breathed out, her blue eyes drinking in the sight of Lena shifting shyly from foot to foot as she stroked the smooth metal surface of a piece of machinery standing as sentinel by her side for comfort.

“Lena?! She’s alive!”

Kara barely even registered the exclamation from her ear piece, her full focus entirely on the woman before her.

“Kara.” Lena murmured and oh, Rao… if hearing her name fall from Lena’s lips wasn’t the single greatest sound in the universe.

“Lena, you’re here…” Kara whispered totally awestruck, getting to her feet and taking slow, careful steps towards Lena, her fingers instinctively reaching out for the raven-haired woman.

“I don’t under-... this isn’t real… you’re not real… you can’t be real…” Lena stammered, shuffling backwards and away from Kara.

Kara couldn’t help the gasp of pain, her heart so close to being fully returned only to back away from her. It wasn’t even Lena putting space between them after so, so, so long apart… it was the fear and confusion in those green eyes that Kara had dreamt about every night that inflicted the true hurt.

The gasp of pain also came with the realisation that Lena wasn’t quite the same, that being alone and isolated had left its indelible mark… That Kara hadn’t saved all of her and that Lena hadn’t believed Kara would save her… and that… that broke Kara.

“Did I answer the knock? Is this a dream? Milo analyse the surroundings and conditions.” Lena ordered, dropping her gaze to her tablet as she tapped frantically against the screen, mumbling her every thought out loud. “Hallucination, most likely… potential causes… sleep deprivation? Unlikely, I have a set sleep schedule. Radioactivity has finally penetrated the bunker and has caused a multitude of health problems. Possible, though I take regular readings of-”

“Lena! Please, stop…” Kara cried, collapsing to her knees in front of Lena. “I’m here, okay? I’m really here!”

“No! No!” Lena shouted in return, “This isn’t real! Because… because… You’re meant to be married! You’re meant to be happy! You’re not meant to be here…” Lena’s breaths came out sharp and panicky, so obviously overwhelmed and Kara just wanted to soothe her.

If it was nine years ago Kara would know exactly how to do that. Back then Lena needed a grounding touch, needed to feel like she wasn’t alone, that someone was there to hold her and support her through it…

But would this Lena want that?

Would Lena jerk away from her touch?

Barbed wire had curled around Kara’s heart making her wary of getting too close until she had tenderly uncoiled every piece of twisted metal that had been threaded through it.

Here’s the thing though… The barbed wire hurt Kara to touch but Lena, her heart, was living with it, had endured the wire being inserted and had learnt to survive its constant barbs, now here Kara was disturbing it all. Anything Kara did would inevitably hurt Lena in some small way - confusion, panic and uncertainty - the very least she could do is hold Lena closer, if that's what she wanted, and share the pain.

Kara’s fingers reached out, and made gentle contact. It was the softest that Kara had ever touched anything, because this… Lena… deserved everything to be soft and tender and beautiful….

She wanted to pull Lena’s hands away from her face but she didn’t want to force Lena in any way, she just wanted her to know that Kara was really there and was not going anywhere.

Thankfully, miraculously… Lena leaned into her rather than away and Kara was gifted the scent of citrus with a hint of oil as Lena rested her forehead on Kara’s shoulder, accepting Kara’s support.

Her Lena was definitely still there and the barbed wire was not as copious as Kara had initially feared.

“Lena, how could I be happy without you?” Kara whispered, her fingers moving ever so carefully from Lena’s biceps, round to her back… so tenderly wrapping Lena up in her arms, finally, finally able to breathe after years of holding her breath. “Let me take you home, please, please Lena… let me take you away from here, please…” Kara begged, pressing featherlight lips against Lena’s forehead. “Let’s go see that sunset, yeah?”

Lena pulled away and before Kara had a chance to feel hurt about the distance, the kryptonian felt calloused, wonderful palms cupping her face and wiping away the tears that Kara hadn’t even realised she was shedding until Lena’s thumbs wiped them away. “You still want to? Even after all this time?”

Kara barely resisted the urge to laugh at the sheer preposterousness of the question.

“It’s all I’ve thought about.” Kara confessed and she felt her face ache with the size of the smile trying to take over her face.

And if Kara thought that seeing Lena, being reunited with her heart, couldn’t get any better she was about to be proven totally wrong because green eyes dipped down and honed in with intent. For the first time in nearly a decade Kara’s stomach swooped with that heady mixture of arousal and nerves that only Lena could evoke.

Kara breathed in sharply and leaned forward when-

“Sha-la-la-la-la-la, music play, do what the music say, you wanna kiss the girl.” Kara’s head whipped around to see a… a… robot dog singing????

Kara’s eyebrows shot up as the greyhound-shaped piece of metal with glowing green LED eyes, banged its tail excitedly on the floor as it moved its shiny head from Lena to Kara and back again.

“Thanks, Milo.” Lena chuckled wetly; Kara had forgotten what Lena’s throaty laugh sounded like and she could feel her whole body lighten up after hearing it that she had to will herself not to start hovering off the floor. “I have a robot dog, now.” Lena explained needlessly, cheeks turning an embarrassed pink that made Kara truly have faith that everything would be okay between them regardless of whatever came next.

“I can see that.” Kara replied with a laugh, her hand reaching out to brush through Lena’s dark hair, as she asked her voice brimming with hope, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am…” Lena admitted with a fervent nod of her head before pressing a delicate kiss to Kara’s cheek. “I want to see that sunset.”

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #ends of the earth #end of the world AU #posting this now because i've nearly finished the other parts of this story #yes i said other parts #i may have got carried away

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slunatic · 3 years

Link

Also to be found on FFN: More than Enough chapter 3.

Summary: Alex and Lena’s lives were thrown for a loop when Kara left for Argo City. They got close, helped stabilize each other, and started dating. Now, Kara’s back and all of their lives are flipped upside down once more. Updated Tuesdays.

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Relationship: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor

Characters: Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers, Eliza Danvers

Additional Tags: Angst, Drama, Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Romance, Returning Home, Time Shenanigans, Reunions, Day At The Beach, Shower Sex, Sexual ContentLesbian Sex, Soul-Searching, Talking, Relationship Discussions, Worry, Sisters, Best Friends

Language: English

Preview:

There was a mountain of food on the table and Kara looked so pleased, mouth full of mango curry. Instead of sitting in a chair, Kara floated with her legs crossed. It was something she missed while she was in Argo City. She thought she would enjoy not having her powers, just being normal, but she had gotten so used to them that there were two weeks where she kept trying to use her powers.

“In completely inappropriate ways, I’m sure,” Alex said from her spot to the right of Kara.

Kara blushed. “Of course not! I just wasn’t used to not using the powers anymore. People thought I was crazy, even though they know the yellow sun interacts without bodies differently than the light of the red sun. So many weird looks every time I tried. But, yeah, this is nice.” She tilted back a little and then shoved more curry in her face...

#fanfiction #fanfic #f/f #f/f romance #f/f fanfic #supergirl #agentcorp #alex danvers #lena luthor #kara danvers #friendship #lesbian relationship #lesbian characters #reunion #home #sisters

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darthkvznblogs · 3 years

Note

Happy Mother's Day! Hope you're spending time with your mom! BTW, how would your characters celebrate the holiday?

Thank you! Mother’s Day in México is actually May 10th every year, but we still had a really nice sunday - made some delicious carne asada with her, actually - and there should be some cake and such tonight.

That’s a big ask, so it took a bit longer! Here goes (and it’s only the main characters, if you want specific ones beside them feel free to hit me with another ask)

-Mother’s Day for Luz is something of a subdued affair; traditional Dominican celebrations involve multiple generations of the family getting together, but Luz and Camila’s extended family lives too far for them to visit anytime other than the holidays. Instead, Luz and her mother splurge a little bit on a nice homemade dinner based on family recipes, just for the two of them, Unfortunately, in recent years, Camila has been too swamped with work for something like this, which only contributes to their strained relationship.

-Kara, of course, celebrates Eliza Danvers on Mother’s Day, but she also pays her respects to her biological mother in a more Kryptonian way. She burns offerings of food and drink she thinks Alura would’ve liked (in lieu of Kryptonian food) at sunset, representing Rao plunging through the horizon and into the underworld. The small ceremony is actually a funerary rite - biological motherhood was almost unheard of by the time of Krypton’s destruction, let alone celebrated, the House of El being one of a handful of families still permitted to produce children.

-Ben texts his mother, and it usually goes unanswered. There was this one time she had him flown to DC for a photo op, but they had so much trouble looking genuinely happy to be in the same frame that she hasn’t done it since. It wasn’t always that way, of course. Before Sandra dove headfirst into politics, the Tennysons would have a nice picnic or cookout in the city park.

-Chloé hates her mother with the burning passion of a thousand suns. She’s especially prickly on Mother’s Day, so everyone knows not to even interact with her that day.

-Even if Nico (and Bianca) had celebrated Mother’s Day before, their stay in the Lotus Hotel has erased those memories. Nico and Persephone do have a good relationship though, so he’ll try to awkwardly give her a little gift he might’ve picked from his travels - and if said travels just happen to bring him by Maria di Angelo’s grave to pay his respects, well, that’s just a happy coincidence.

-The closest thing to a mother Danielle ever had was the AI in the shape of Maddie Fenton that Vlad created, like the total creep he was. Ellie doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day - and her relationship with the Fentons is...complicated (A/N: and spoilery), so you might catch her trying to distract herself as best she can on that date.

-Pidge and her mother have always been a bit distant, but Mother’s Day had always been celebrated in a pretty normal way in the Holt household, before the Kerberos mission. She ran away shortly afterwards, and her mother believes her to be dead, so...it’ll be awkward, to say the least, whenever the family is reunited.

-The Saiyan concept of motherhood is...not exactly nurturing to begin with. The vast majority of Saiyan children are taken after birth, either to boost their potential if it’s lacking, or cultivate it in training camps if it’s good enough. All of this is to say, even living on Xandar, Bardock and Gine’s family don’t have an equivalent Mother’s Day celebration. Kale never knew her mother on top of all that, due to her and Broly’s unique upbringing on Sakaar.

-Dipper and Mabel are all about going all out on Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day), with gifts, poorly cooked home meals and baking, etc. Tulip, on the other hand, finds both celebrations a little bittersweet. Her parents never even considered fixing their relationship in any way, and though they do their best to be available for her, it’s hard to be happy when at any moment bringing up the other parent might devolve into a negative conversation. I think she’d much prefer celebrating with the twins going forth.

WHEW that was a big one. Hope you enjoyed @the-literary-lord and happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate it!

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myrandomfandomramblings · 3 years

Text

Arrowverse Science Fair AU

~2004 National Highschool (Gr. 8-12) Science Fair

Projects:

Felicity Smoak (Gr. 9) – Computer software to detect card counters. She may or may not have hacked into online card games to test it (this wasn’t included in/on her project.)

Cisco Ramon (Gr. 8 or 9) – Piano playing robot. He thought it played better than Dante. His parents didn’t agree.

Caitlin Snow (Gr. 9) – Analysis of physiological response to various stimuli. She wanted to find stimuli that would help kids cope with traumatic experiences (say crashing their bike or losing their father.) If she was able to find something that made her mom show some/any emotion that would be a bonus.

Barry Allen (Gr. 9) – Growing crystals (lots of different and cool ones). His project started out as an attempt to make something special for Iris for her birthday but turned into an elaborate project. It ended up being a good choice because 1) it reminded Barry of his parents (the first science experiment they did together was grow Borax crystals on pipecleaner and 2) it followed Joe’s ‘your science fair project must make, not destroy things’ rule instated after Barry’s Gr. 6 project.

Alex (Gr. 9) and Kara (Gr. 8) Danvers – Birds in my Backyard. Eliza had insisted on Alex getting Kara involved in her science fair project this year. Alex was excited to show Kara the science fair experience she enjoyed but wanted to pick a topic she knew more about that Kara (her knowledge of math and science was intimidating enough without the superpowers). Seeing Kara’s interest in birds they decided to study birds in their backyard. With Alex’s design and Kara’s powers they built tall post’s and attached bird houses and feeders with differing properties. They then monitored which kinds of birds built nests and ate from where (with some help from Kara’s flight and X-ray vision). Alex also picked 5 nests from different species to chronicle the embryo and chick development. Kara enjoyed doing the project and learning about birds from Alex. The actual science fairs, not so much but those were Alex’s favourite part. Note: Streaky was locked in the house for the duration of the project so he wouldn’t eat any of the birds.

Winn Schott (Gr. 11) – Pop-up room/ room in a suitcase. Being in the foster system for the last couple years inspired Winn to design a room that collapsed to the size of a suitcase for easy transport but could expand in less than a minute into a nice-sized, fully-furnished, sound-proof room, so no matter how many times a foster kid was moved around they always had their own space and stuff. Also good for camping, travel and special short-term events (like waiting in line at conventions).

Lena Luthor (Gr. 5) – Oxygen absorbing/releasing crystal that could allow breathing underwater. After her Mum drown when Lena was four, she was determined to develop a simple way for people to breath under water. She was able to do just that by synthesizing a substance that absorbed and stored large amounts of oxygen then released it slowly (so if someone held in in their mouth, they could breathe underwater). She was happy and excited that her mom and older brother were interested in her project but a little frustrated and concerned that they were so focused on its ability to absorb all the oxygen from a room (in a big enough amount). Although she supposed it could be used in that capacity to control/extinguish fires. Note: although in elementary school, Lena got to compete against the high schoolers since her project was so advanced for her age.

Sara Lance (Gr. 11) – The Biomechanics of Dance and Martial Arts. As punishment for skipping classes, then sassing her teacher and principal when they tried to discipline her for skipping classes, Sara had to complete a science fair project. To make the best of it Sara chose something that interested her. In hindsight she wished she hadn’t. Her project was so good she was chosen to represent her school at the state and national science fair.

Ronnie Raymond (Gr. 9-12?)- Structural design to minimize Superman related damage in Metropolis. Ronnie was proud of his project and had enjoyed analyzing the powers of Metropolis’ hero, but he lost any chance he had at winning when he decided to leave his project to go flirt with Caitlin. At least Kara, whose project was next to his, seemed interested.

Hartley Rathaway – something to do with sound waves

Lily Stein (Gr. 11) – designing and comparing different miniaturized forms of renewable energy sources. She had some help from her dad.

Patty Spivot – Recreation of crime scene evidence using food models. A bunch of her friends (her whole cabin actually) from her summer camp for those interested in law enforcement came to support her.

- Maggie Sawyer – seemed really interested in the bird project

- Ralph Dibny – found every project that said it was OK to touch. His favourite was slime. To Patty’s surprise he didn’t break anything.

- Dinah Drake – hung out with Patty most of the time. Talked to Hartley, beside her, about his project on sound waves for a bit (seemed kinda interested). Patty joined her when she got into a conversation with Sara, across the way, and Laurel about the implications of her biomechanics project in fighting and self-defence. The rest of the time they talked about that Vince guy from camp Dinah thought was cute.

- Eddie Thawne – he hung out with Patty most of the time too but did do a lap of the fair with Iris, who was there supporting Barry, when she accepted his offer to buy her something at the concession.

Notable events:

- Clark came to see Alex and Kara’s project and brought James and Lois with him. Kara and Clark (very subtly) tested the models on the project beside them that had been abandoned and were said to be superman proof/resistant. They were very impressed to discover the models did indeed stand-up to heat vison, freeze breath and super-strength leading Clark to believe the student had a bright future. James spent most of his time talking to Winn about his pop-up room project because, “Don’t you think these would be way better than cubicles, the Daily Planet should definitely purchase some.”

- Cat Grant, a young reporter from the National City Tribune pushing a stroller, came around and interviewed all the contestants because, “What better place to find the next world changing innovator or innovation” as she put it when she stopped to talk to Clark (more like flirt Kara thought). Alex used Clark distracting Cat as an opportunity to play with the baby in the stroller. This was the only time during the entire science fair Alex was distracted, except maybe when Maggie had come, but they mainly talked about the project like Alex did with everyone, which left Alex wondering why it felt different. During their entire interview Cat called Kara Kira, much to her annoyance. At least the baby seemed to like her. This interview sparked a conversation between Kara, Lois and Clark about journalism which Iris overhead while she was visiting Barry and joined in.

- Graduate students Ray Palmer and Curtis Holt were volunteer judges and ticket takers. Curtis wore a varsity jacket over his shirt and tie which covered his name tag, but at every project he judged he would describe every aspect as terrific, so the contestants started calling him Mr. Terrific. While judging Barry’s project they began a discussion about their favourite elements/minerals/gems. Barry couldn’t decide so joked he liked Barium. Ray shared his love for dwarf star alloy with a ‘quick’ lecture about its rumoured properties and potential uses. Curtis listed at least 10 compounds essential for modern tech as he flip-flopped back and forth trying to decide a favourite and Lex Luthor who was visiting his sister’s project beside them interjected that he favoured kryptonite. While taking tickets Curtis witnessed the following interaction. He asked Damian Darhk, who was carrying baby Nora, what brought him to the science fair. He responded with “These are the brightest young minds in the country and being young means they are malleable. So, there is nowhere better to recruit future talent for my enterprise.” Malcolm Merlyn, who was behind, him added “I know exactly what you mean with what the world’s coming to we’re going to need a bright mind to save it.” This led Tommy, who was accompanying him, to say “I thought we were just here to support the Queen’s.” Then one of the other judges, Dr. Harrison Wells aka Eobard Thawne in disguise, added “No your Dad is right. This world’s next HERO could be in this very room. I’ve already made a list of students to keep my eye on.” He pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. On it Curtis saw four names: Hartley Rathaway, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow and Ronnie Raymond. This led to a long conversation between the three men about numerous threats to society, the country and the world and the possible drastic solutions that would need to be employed to stop them. When they left Curtis turned to Ray and asked, “Was it just me or were those Doomsday Dudes really creepy?” “What” Ray replied his attention clearly being pulled from elsewhere. But before Curtis could answer a voice behind him said “Doomsday Dudes is a terrible nickname you should call them the Legion of Doom.” Curtis turned to find Cisco. “Just saying,” he continued, “anyway I heard there’s free Big Belly Burger for the contestants. When’s that coming?” Ray had missed the entire conversation Curtis was asking about because he had been making funny faces at baby Nora the whole time hoping to make her smile or laugh but she had just stared at him with her big blue eyes.

- Queen consolidated gave out a $1500 scholarship and a summer internship at the applied sciences division. This year Moira and Robert had made Oliver come and brought 9-year-old Thea. Oliver was tasked with watching Thea who ran around the entire science fair wanting to look at and touch all the projects even the ones with big ‘Do Not Touch’ signs on them. She spent at least an hour trying to get everybody around the robot pianist to sing and dance with her. Most people ignored her although she was able to get Cisco, Winn, Stein, Joe, Kara (who kept trying to get Alex to join) and to Oliver’s surprise Malcolm Merlyn all to sing with her and they were all surprisingly good. She also got many people to dance including the Lance girls. She even convinced Cisco to make the robot play some of her favourite songs from Disney movies. Barry was very happy that he was able to convince Iris to dance with him for a couple songs with just a little encouragement from Thea and despite Kara’s constant encouragement Alex only agreed to dance when Maggie asked. Oliver had to present his family’s award which went to Felicity. When her name was announced Donna yelled “Woohoo, that’s my daughter! Way to go sweetie!” which earned a whispered “Mom, ssshh” and accompanied eye roll from Felicity as she headed to the stage with her head down and cheeks flushed. When she got onstage Oliver presented her with her award and Felicity began to babble, “Thanks. This is so cool. I’m such a big fan of yours… well not yours… your company… your family’s company. But uh you seem cool too. I could be a fan of yours, but not like a creepy stalker fan just like a normal supportive fan, ya know. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, it’s just, I don’t know what to say. Your very handsome… and I just said that out loud. I’m so sorry.” She stops and whispers “come on Smoak, pull yourself together,” then takes a deep breath before addressing Oliver again, “Thank-you again for the award and I look forward to working with you, or for you. I’m just gonna go now.” Oliver couldn’t help smiling as she left and thinking that just maybe if she had been around when Thea was partnering everyone up to dance he may have just participated.

- Kara quickly got bored of standing by her project and started wandering around to talk to the other contestants. She spent a good chunk of time talking to Barry. Tried to join in on a heated debate between Felicity, Cisco and Winn about the best language to code in but quickly left when she had no idea what they were talking about. She ended up spending most of her time with Lena. They talked about their projects, their lives and interests and about dealing with new and scary situations especially when you feel different from everyone else and learnt that they were both adopted. However, the whole time they were talking Lena’s eyes kept scanning the room as if waiting for something to jump out and scare her. Kara learnt why when a woman Kara thought must be Lena’s mother showed up and menacingly questioned why she was distracting her daughter.

- J’onn came in disguise to check out the Danvers sister’s project

#arrrowverse #this got way out of hand #supergirl #legends of tomorrow #the flash #arrow

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ravenforce · 4 years

Text

Ithaca Pt. 3

Word Count: 4126

Warning/s: None

A/N: Hey loves, sorry it took a while. Writing Natasha comes easy to me. The truth is I finished the first draft of this, weeks ago but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me. I searched for it for weeks but ultimately decided to trash the whole thing and start again. I didn’t mean it to come to 4k words but apparently, it’s fun writing Carol too.

This is the last POV I’m writing for Ithaca. Next chapter we go back to you, dear Reader. I hope you like this, please let me know what you think of it. xx

PS. If there are any grammatical mistakes I’ve still overlooked, I apologize.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 4 | 5

***

5:00 AM

Carol woke up to the continuous vibration of her phone under her pillow. She let out a quiet groan before reaching under and hitting the snooze button. She knew, even with her sleep-addled brain, that going back to sleep is futile. So, slowly, Carol rolled on her back and opened her eyes to see the glow in the dark stars she and Natasha put up in her ceiling when they were ten. Carol has always been an early riser too, even before she moved to Ithaca.

Carol’s parents are both pilots for the air force. They used to live in the base, and sleeping to the sounds of fighter jets warming up or speeding on a nearby runway made Carol a light sleeper. She tried a handful of times to sleep through all the ruckus but failed. So instead of wasting her time trying to get some more sleep, Carol learned how to used the early start to her advantage. Either she would be found training basic self-defense with her mom at the gym, or she’s out flying with her dad in morning flying drills.

When both her parents died on a mission, Carol was to be put into a foster home before the Danvers’ came and adopted her. Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers both used to work at the base and are close friends with her parents. When they found out Carol’s an orphan, they both decided to come back and talk to Carol if she would like to live with them instead. Carol agreed reluctantly but she found the prospect of being with Eliza and Jeremiah better than being with complete strangers. She was hesitant though because the Danvers already have two children, Alex and Kara.

Carol dreaded moving to Ithaca because she never knew how to interact with other children and suddenly she would be living with not just one but two adolescents. Fortunately for her, Alex and Kara are amazing sisters. Kara’s clumsy, funny, and sweet while Alex is a bit reserved but fiercely loyal and protective of her and Kara. And even though, Kara and Alex both work and live in National City now, she’s still very close to both of them. Carol didn’t think she’d ever recover with the death of her parents but Ithaca gave her not just the Danvers’ but also the Avengers.

Carol smiled at the fake stars on her ceiling as she remembers the first time she met them.

In a small town like Ithaca, everyone seems to know everyone. As the only new face in school, Carol was an easy target for bullies. On her first day in school, an older boy named Yonn shoved Carol off causing her to fall to the side. Thankfully, someone caught her. Carol looked up and saw a petite girl with red hair and the greenest eyes she’s ever laid eyes on, frowning at the boy who shoved her.

“Apologize to her Yonn,” the redhead said calmly as Carol tries to straighten her school uniform.

“And why would I do that? She’s in my way, Natasha,” Yonn answered smugly.

Carol watched silently as the two stared down one another. She focuses more on the girl named Natasha because even though she’s clearly smaller than the boy, she doesn’t seem afraid.

“Apologize. Now,” Natasha repeated seriously. Her melodic voice clearly held a degree of authority that Yonn and everyone in the vicinity can recognize.

Yonn sneered before apologizing through his teeth.

“What was that? Say it again,” Natasha said smiling. Carol, in an instant, was captivated.

Yonn sneered again before taking a menacing step forward and towards Natasha but a group of young boys stepped between the two.

“Is there a problem here?” A boy with clean-cut hair and boy-next-door face asked, seizing up Yonn.

“Natasha?” A handsome boy with long blonde hair asked.

“Yonn’s just apologizing for shoving my friend, Thor,” Natasha answered without hesitation.

Carol’s heart fluttered wildly in her chest. The boys looked at Carol for a second before turning towards Yonn again.

“Shove her again, and you’ll find yourself kissing the ground she’s standing on,” Thor said seriously.

Carol watched in awe at how these kids can be so intimidating at eight years old.

“I think you broke him, guys. Yonn, nod if you agree,” a boy holding some sort of tech on his hand says before Yonn deftly nodded his head.

“Now, scram,” a boy with long black hair said, which prompted Yonn out of his trance and power walked to the opposite side of the building.

When Yonn was out of sight, the hallway seems to have released a collective breath that they’re holding. The girl named Natasha adjusted her school bag before turning towards Carol. Toe-to-toe with Natasha, Carol realized how tiny she is. Carol couldn’t help the small smile on her face. Carol tried not to squirm at how Natasha was looking at her.

“You appear to be physically fine,” Natasha assessed. “But are you alright?”

“You broke my fall. Thank you, by the way,” Carol said sincerely. Sure, she could take Yonn by herself but Natasha coming to her rescue is still very much appreciated.

“You’re welcome. I’m Natasha,” Natasha introduced herself before extending her hand. Carol didn’t hesitate when she reached out and shook it. Natasha smiled at her again.

“I’m Carol, Carol Danvers.” Then someone coughed behind them, Natasha rolled her eyes.

“And these are my friends. This is Steve, Thor, Thor’s brother Loki, Clint, and Tony,” Natasha introduced everyone. Carol thanked all of them for stepping up for her.

“It’s nothing, Yonn is annoying,” Tony said after closing the tech on his hand.

“And I believe it’s high time, Natasha gets a girl friend,” Loki said, voice teasing.

Carol understood that Loki meant a female friend but Loki’s teasing got the better of her and she started blushing. Natasha saw this and smirked at her before linking their arms together and tugging Carol to the direction of the cafeteria.

“Welcome to the Avengers,” Natasha whispered.

Carol blinked back to the present when she saw the light on Natasha’s bedroom flickered from across the street. Today’s the day, Natasha will giving the transfer student the grounds tour. In true Natasha fashion, she’s up even before the sun could come up to make sure she never misses ballet practice. Even though, they’re not extremely close anymore due to conflict of school schedules, and people constantly being adopted to their group, Carol would be caught dead before she let Natasha roam the streets at such an early hour alone. Ironic though because Natasha’s a founding family child, which means she knows the town like the back of her own hand and no one in their right mind would so much as think of touching a hair on her head.

6:00 AM

Carol watched as Mrs. Miller made polite small talk with Natasha before waving her inside the studio. Mrs. Miller then turned to look directly at the huge plant box she knew Carol was hiding behind. Carol stepped out of the shadow before walking towards the guard post.

“Good morning, Carol,” Mrs. Miller greeted quietly as not to alert Natasha of the blonde’s presence outside.

“Good morning, ma’am,” Carol whispered back before pulling out a thermos of hot coffee she brewed at home.

Mrs. Miller has been stationed guard at the studio for almost two decades, and she’s been holding on to Carol’s secret for just as long now. Carol’s popularity is hugely based on her very charming personality but a part of it was from her reputation as a philanderer. As a serial heart breaker, Carol’s not known to be soft, romantic, and never one to get attached to anyone. She’s the hot soccer team captain who gets any girl she likes, and bolt comes the early morning light. No one has ever known Carol to stay the night but Mrs. Miller - basically a stranger - knows something no one does.

“If you’ve only been as tenacious as you have as protecting her,” Mrs. Miller started but Carol cut her off with a soft sigh.

“There’s no point,” Carol said dejectedly before the clock tower interrupted her.

“Thank you for the coffee, Carol,” Mrs. Miller said sincerely. She knew it’s time for Carol to go.

“Thank you for looking after us,” Carol answered as solemnly before shouldering her backpack and walking towards the soccer field.

***

Popularity can be blinding, Carol and Natasha thought so a long time ago. So to both stay grounded they both train at their respective choice of activity every other morning, with one as a lookout for the other. Clearly, they both carried on with the tradition but separately. They did it for ten years, and then they don’t. Somewhere between then and now, Carol and Natasha fell off the cracks.

Sure, they still belong to the same group, eats at the same table, hang out at the same places but they both know they lost each other in a more meaningful way. Carol arrived at the field but suddenly she wasn’t in the mood to kick some balls. So, instead, she dropped her bag on the grass and used it as a pillow. The sky is still dark, the sounds of crickets and cicadas are still there if she focuses long enough. Something about Mrs. Miller’s words put Carol in a somber mood.

In the silence of the early morning, Carol closed her eyes and released everything she’s been holding to in a sigh. “I miss you,” she whispered like a prayer to the universe. Without hope or anything that it would be heard by the person, she wanted to say it to. When she opened her eyes, the sky has turned a beautiful shade of light blue.

“Burning the morning oil, Captain,” Valkyrie’s confident voice floated from above her head. Just like that Carol's time is over, just like that Carol’s mask is up again. She sat up, composed herself before turning towards her friend and smiled.

“Good morning to you too, Val,” Carol teased before hauling herself to her feet.

“Crew’s at the Applebee’s for breakfast. Walk with me? Since you’re clearly not practicing anyway.”

Carol let out an adulterated laugh, and Valkyrie, try as she might, she couldn’t help the blush that dusted her perfectly brown skin after hearing that melodic laugh and knowing that she caused it. Of course, Carol noticed but even though she knows that the other woman is attracted to her, Carol had resolved never to engage except for very light flirting. She couldn’t really handle one more complicated friendship, after all.

7:00 AM

Applebee’s was buzzing with the morning rush but when Val and Carol stepped inside the establishment, they can immediately pinpoint the location of their friends by the sheer commanding voice of Thor booming around the restaurant.

“Must you boys be so loud?” Carol teased before flopping down between Maria and Loki.

“Oh, Carol. We’re just relishing a morning without Natasha’s grumpy ass,” Steve answered teasing. Carol frowned, clearly not appreciating the joke.

Maria, ever the intuitive one, looked up from her textbook to look at Carol and offer her an assuring smile, which helped diffuse Carol’s rising foul mood.

“I’ll make sure Nat knows you called her a grumpy ass, Steve,” Wanda mock threatened the jock before joining the table.

Steve gasped before the table erupted in laughter. Every Avenger is popular and badass by their own merit but no one, absolutely no one would ever dare go against or speak ill of Natasha. She’s a force of nature on her own, everyone else is just glitter; at least that’s how Carol thinks so.

Carol tore a piece of bread and threw it on Steve’s face, which earned more giggles. “Oh! You’ll be in trouble, Steven,” Carol teased and grinned before taking a bite off her bagel sandwich.

Steve stuck his tongue out like a child. “Speaking of which, where’s Natasha, anyway?” he asked trying to diffuse the situation off.

“I believe she’s off giving Maria and Tony’s friend, the transfer student, the ground tours,” Thor answered before leaning back on his chair and sipping his tall glass of orange juice.

“Oh!” Steve exclaimed. “That’s today? I can’t wait to meet the girl who bested the Tony Stark on his own company.”

“Haha. Very funny, Steven,” Tony quipped sarcastically without looking up from the tech he’s been fixing all morning.

“I heard she’s pretty,” Loki said, clearly intrigued by the newcomer who he knows will be added in the mix if her reputation as beautiful and genius precedes her.

Wanda hurriedly chewed down her pancakes before clapping her hands in excitement. “She is! I was able to persuade Maria to show me a picture, and man, she’s stunning.”

Carol watched her friends interact quietly and wonder how this new girl would par in terms of getting along and fitting in their own crazy little group. Will she fall with the silent types along with Natasha, Clint, Loki, and Maria? Or would she fit better with the extroverts like Steve, Thor, and Valkyrie?

“I’m excited to meet her. Mar, please tell me you invited her to lunch?” Thor asked excitedly.

Maria only smiled and shrugged before going back to her assigned reading.

“What’s the fuss? No one can be that perfect,” Valkyrie said matter-of-factly, which halted the conversation in the table almost immediately.

Carol quickly glanced at Maria. If Valkyrie was baiting for a fight early in the morning, she’s surely not getting it because getting a rise out of Maria is like getting Natasha to be responsive.

“The first mistake you can make before meeting Y/N is to think that she’s perfect. She’s not; she’s scarred and flawed but she’s special,” Tony said seriously before Maria can say anything else.

Carol cleared her throat to diffuse the tension in the air. “You’re right, T. We shouldn’t put the girl on a box.” Carol started seriously before breaking into a grin. “Besides, we all know, only Tasha’s that perfect.”

Carol looked smug. Steve nodded, Tony just shrugged, Wanda giggled, Valkyrie rolled her eyes while the Odinson brothers just smiled. And just like that, the bad air is gone.

8:30 AM

In the end, Natasha didn’t show up for breakfast, which was odd because everyone knows that she hates doing Clint’s job and giving grounds tour. Only Carol and Maria has a 9 AM class, so Carol drove them back to school in her motorcycle. Carol intentionally slowed her movement the moment Maria hopped off her bike and handed her the extra helmet Carol lent her.

“You know you’re gonna be late for class again, right?” Maria said after fixing her braided hair.

Carol smiled before locking her bike up. “I know but can you blame me? Bruce’s class is capital b-o-r-i-n-g,” Carol defended.

Maria shook her head and smiled. “Sure but I know what you’re doing,” Maria said before walking towards the school.

Carol squinted before jogging up to catch up to Maria.

“You should stop trying to get a rise out of Nat. It’s not helping your cause,” Maria said smiling.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Carol denied but Maria knows from the smile on her face that Carol knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Maria was thirteen when she moved to Ithaca and joined the Avengers. She wasn’t privy to their childhood and Maria wasn’t one to gossip but she knows that Carol was Natasha’s best friend since they were eight. Along the way, the two went on a rough patch that they seem to be still recovering from. It doesn’t help that Carol likes teasing and deliberately doing the things she knows Natasha would hate.

The two engaged in small talk until they arrived at Maria’s classroom. “See you later, Danvers,” Maria said before putting her hand for a high-five. Carol immediately indulged her.

***

Carol grimaced at the watch as she reads the time. She still hasn’t seen Natasha since she left her at the studio but she didn’t want to give the other the satisfaction by texting to know where the hell she is.

‘Tasha’s a grown woman,’ Carol thought to herself before looking up and seeing Minerva a few feet away.

Carol looked at her reflection on the glass adjacent to her before flashing an all too big, all too fake smile. She walked the small distance between her and Minerva, who is talking to a boy Carol doesn’t know.

“Hey,” Carol greeted from behind Minerva.

“Danvers,” Minerva answered without facing her. The boy looked between the two before quickly excusing himself.

Minerva turned on the spot to look at Carol. “Aren’t you late for class?”

“Yes. So, why bother? Besides, don’t you miss me?” Carol asked batting her long eyelashes and pouting.

Minerva looked at her from head to toe before smirking. “It’s too early for a booty call, Danvers.”

Carol let out an unadulterated laugh. “Fair enough but how about later after school?” Carol asked, stepping inside Minerva’s personal space. In one stride, Carol has closed the gap between them and has the other woman pressed against her toned body and the locker behind her.

“Danvers!” A voice Carol would know anywhere growled a few feet away.

Carol groaned in fake exasperation but internally she’s smiling from ear to ear. “Tasha,” she said sweetly without stepping away from Minerva. Natasha, as expected, didn’t smile back. She only grimaced and glared until Minerva pushed Carol away.

“This again?” Minerva murmured as she rounded Carol to get to her classroom but the blonde girl couldn’t hear or see anything else. She’s laser-focused on Natasha and Natasha alone.

“You’re ten minutes late already,” Nat started when she’s alone in the hallway with Carol. “And your class is on the other side of the campus.”

Carol ignored the fact that Natasha still knows her schedule. She walked towards the redhead until she’s toe to toe with Natasha. Natasha didn’t step back, she’s used to Carol always invading her personal space.

“I got that class in the bag, Tasha. Relax,” Carol whispered before leaning in, kissing Natasha close to her mouth, and running away.

***

Carol’s grinning from ear to ear as she floats all the way to the other side of the campus. She’s still thinking of how Natasha’s face has turned a good shade of tomato just before Carol sprinted away. Carol’s pretty sure it’s a combination of a blush and Natasha’s rising anger. She couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, just as she enters Bruce’s classroom. Bruce stops mid-discussion after Carol not so silently barged into class.

“Ah! Miss Danvers, glad you’re able to join us today,” Bruce said. “And only twenty minutes late.”

Carol was ripped from her high as everyone’s laughter reached her ears.

She refused to be made to feel bad about a decision she deliberately made. So, she joined in the laughter before looking at her teacher.

“Sorry, Mr. Banner but it’s the meet season,” Carol half-lied before quickly scanning the room for an empty seat. Her eyes landed on the empty seat next to the only face she doesn’t know in class. Carol was completely caught off-guard. They just talked about how Maria’s friend, the transfer student’s pretty but Carol thought as she stood there that ‘pretty’ is an understatement.

“Get it together, Danvers and sit already,” Bruce sighed. Carol blinked back to reality before smiling at Bruce and sprinting up the stairs to her seat.

“Hi, I’m Carol. Carol Danvers,” she introduced herself with a genuine smile.

“Hi, Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N,” she whispered, eyes still trained upfront.

Carol docked her head to hide the smile on her face as she finds Y/N pretending to be listening to Bruce really adorable.

“Nice to meet you,” Carol tried to whisper back

Y/N threw her a side glance to acknowledge her but quickly turned back to the lesson. Or at least, try because Carol was adamant about talking to her. The moment their eyes met, Carol decided she wants to get to know her outside of Maria and Tony’s stories.

“Maria can’t stop talking about you,” Carol tried to get Y/N’s attention again.

This time, it worked. “You know Maria?” Y/N asked quietly.

Carol smiled but before she could utter another word, Bruce shut the book on his hand loudly. Y/N turned her eyes and body forward as fast as she could, Carol didn’t take her eyes off the girl.

“Care to include us in your discussion, girls?” Bruce said all the way down from the podium.

Carol smiled as she watches Y/N try to shrink herself on her seat to avoid Bruce's wrath. Carol on the other hand just kept smiling like an idiot.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Banner but I just couldn’t believe I’m sitting next to a MENSA student,” Carol said.

The room was filled with the murmur of approval.

“Why do you sound so impressed Carol?”

“Yeah, you’re friends with Tony Stark. Isn’t he a MENSA student too?”

A few kids in the class asked aloud but Carol ignored them. Carol finally turned her head to look at Bruce. He didn’t look impressed, his mouth is set on a thin line. Carol held the laugh that tried to escape her. The face Bruce makes every time he gets angry rarely gets the class in line. Natasha’s daily poker face gets better results on striking fear in the heart of people than Bruce at his most angry.

“I know that she’s Mensa, Carol that’s why I left that seat for you. So you can, maybe draw some inspiration and put an effort into this class,” Bruce deadpanned, which only made the classroom roar again with laughter.

“Well,” she started before blatantly checking Y/N out. “I can already feel the inspiration coming.”

The laughter was instantly replaced by groaning. Bruce literally facepalmed himself while Y/N blushed profusely on her seat and avoiding eye contact.

See, Carol is known to be a notorious flirt but at that moment, she wasn’t trying to bait Y/N. She meant it as a genuine compliment.

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Ok, this is gonna be random but I wanna see what your thoughts on it are. If the Arrow-Verse and MCU was set in the same world and the characters interacted with each other, who would be friends? Rivals? Would anyone hate each other but deal with it and just work together because that's what's needed? Stuff like that. What are their relationships (non-romantic/non-sexual as I'm still seeing your main ships being a thing) like?

Carol Danvers and Kara Danvers are absolutely family. Maybe Carol is like... Eliza’s sister, who was working on aliens and with Mar-Vell and an accident gave her the Captain Marvel powers then. Protective aunt. Gives grade A shovel talks.

Clint Barton has a one-sided rivalry with Oliver Queen, who has no fucks to give about that to be quite frank. Like, he acknowledges that Clint is a good archer, but Oliver’s never really felt the need to... one up any of the maaany archers he has met.

However, Oliver absolutely has a puffing-out-his-chest type of low-key rivalry with Steve Rogers. We saw how he was when he met Clark Kent for the first time, after all. He literally puffed out his chest.

I don’t think Natasha would get along with Clark or Kara though, because those Supers are just inherently pure and honest and good and it’d weird the spy out a lot. She can’t believe people really are this genuinely good.

Felicity Smoak, Winn Schott, Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow join the Science Squad (meaning: Tony Stark, Hope van Dyne, Bruce Banner and Jane Foster). Caitlin and Bruce get along like a house on fire, because they both know what it’s like to have another person inside their mind. Lynn Steward doesn’t necessarily join the Science Squad because too many people and too many people who take it for fun, but she absolutely does science with Bruce Banner and maybe also with Caitlin. Also, the Arrowverse has way too many genius scientists and doctors so like I probably forgot two thirds or so.

Ray Palmer would totally fanboy about Tony Stark, that is a given. Tony would joke a lot about filing a copyright claim against Ray. But it’s all jokes.

John Constantine and Stephen Strange hate each other. Stephen in that mild distaste not showing more way and John just cusses up a storm at every given opportunity, to be honest.

Sara Lance and Natasha Romanova fuck. They don’t start a relationship. But they fuck. I love Sara just banging her way through history, it is one of the things I miss ever since Ava and her became a couple because there was so much hilarity in it and I also really liked just the casual wlw hook-ups like between Sara and Alex.

Thor loves the Pierce family. He just loves them. He is so fascinated by them and also by Barry for being able to throw lightning.

I don’t know, that’s all I got to be honest.

(Also I now really want aunt!Carol to be canon, tbh)

#Marvel #MCU #DC Comics #Arrowverse #elements1999

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team-science-mega-nerds · 5 years

Text

Fictober Prompt #1: “It will be fun, trust me.”

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Danvarias (Sam x Alex)

Warnings: None

Sam has grown on Alex. After a year’s worth of game nights, two drunk calls, and an entire season of rec league soccer with Ruby, Alex realizes that she might have a new friend after all. So when it’s time for the annual Danvers family camping trip at Big Bear, Sam is the first person Alex asks. The surprise on Sam’s face is obvious and that leads to a scramble of if you wants and maybe next years but Sam is happy. Thrilled that Alex even thought of her.

It isn’t until they’re all there, opening the cabin windows and setting their weekend bags down on the couch in the common room, that Alex starts to feel a bit uneasy. For one, Eliza is drunk on excitement. Which is the typical reaction she has to spending more than one day with her daughters. But Eliza appears especially enamored by Sam and Ruby’s presence. “I’ve been waiting years to play grandma,” Eliza tells Ruby, not so discreetly. Alex cocks her head to the side but regards the comment as nothing more than what it is, Eliza spoiling a very worthy and lovable kid.

When Kara tells them that she’s going to gather some wood and tugs Lena along, Alex starts to wonder. Is it strange that Kara brought her girlfriend and Alex brought Sam? It was normal, right? They were friends and just because James and Brainy backed out that didn’t mean this was some kind of couples retreat. “Should we go look at the lake?” Sam suggests.

“That sounds like a great idea! I can get things settled in the kitchen, while you three take a stroll.” At the mention of the kitchen, Ruby seems to perk up.

“Actually, can I stay with you Ms. Danvers? I’m in a cooking class, I can help.” Eliza looks delighted and Sam looks proud. Alex is still overthinking everything, so she’s resigned to trudging behind Sam. At least the pathway is marked which makes it much easier for Alex to run through every single interaction she’s ever had with Sam without tripping over her feet.

“You’re quiet.”

“I am? Sorry.” Sam ties her hair up into a ponytail.

“It seems like...did I do something wrong?” Alex stops sulking and looks to Sam. This is the last thing she wants, for Sam to feel like it’s her fault. “When you asked me, I thought...well, good things.”

“You didn’t do anything. I just realized that Kara’s here with Lena and I’m here with...you.” Alex hopes her words speak for themselves. Sam still looks very uncertain. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“We’re all here together,” Sam insists. They arrive at a clearing that overlooks the lake. It’s gorgeous and quiet. Sitting at a small dock are small pedal boats. Sam is practically bouncing on her toes. “Oh my god! I haven’t been on one of those in like fifty years.” Sam isn’t quite jogging but her long legs carry her there fairly fast.

“Well...have fun!” Alex shouts from where she’s standing twenty feet away. Sam stops climbing into the boat and looks at Alex with a frown.

“You’re not coming with me?”

“I don’t...I don’t like water.” Sam laughs and then quickly covers her mouth. “Jerk.”

“Sorry, it’s just...you’re so badass.” Sam approaches her and grabs both of Alex’s hands. “It will be fun, trust me.” She smiles wide as Alex slowly starts to follow guided by the warmth of Sam’s touch and an eager need to see Sam smile like this always. “I’ll protect you.” Alex closes her eyes and nods because of course, she does.

As a rule, Alex avoids large bodies of water. Even baths give her a bit of the creeps. But Sam's hand is like an anchor. Stable and holding her nerves down. The boat itself doesn’t seem that terrifying and the silence, which should feel daunting, only leaves room for Alex to hear the airiness of Sam’s laughter as they go. “You have to move your legs.”

“I said I’d come, I didn’t say I’d do anything.”

“Fine. Close your eyes, relax...I’ll do everything.” Sam nudges Alex’s side. “If I was your girlfriend, I wouldn’t let you just sit there, by the way.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Alex keeps her eyes closed but pedals a little bit. “That’s more like it.” Sam dips her hand down into the water and splashes Alex just to get Alex to open her eyes. “Now...what other things are you scared of? I quite like being the brave one.”

“Plenty, I guess.”

“Not me, I hope?” Sam grabs hold of Alex’s hand as they float out there in the middle of the lake.

“No. Definitely not you.”

#fictober2019 #danvarias #agentreign #sam arias #alex danvers #samantha arias #supergirl #also someone needs to write a fic where sam tries to take lena camping but it's literally glamping and taking cute pictures together #fictober19

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ithinkthingsaboutstuff · 4 years

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what would Kara be like if her pod had landed on Colu?

I was debating a lot on this one,

I think that depending when she landed and for the sake of argument lets say 31st century (because of course)

first off I think that there would be a big grieving period as unlike canon all of her family is gone and they are just completely gone from space and time (for a 1000 years)

so i think that would lead to the Colu’s being intrigued by her as shes from a dead civilisation with info and history no one else has, so they would be really want to keep her safe and looked after.

for unique knowledge (that is unknown to them) is not something that they came across all that often.(plus Kara is a super smart and learns quick so that helps to)

but she is also a child

so taking her seriously but not understanding that she can’t process what just happened to her logically alone

and Colu being not so emotion orientated they would have no idea what to do with her (as a person)

(side-bar: I have always had a head-canon that Clouan’s emotions are different to humans in that, they feel through expressing idea’s and discord like e.g if someone likes you they would research you fav thing and then come up with a new theory or invention to show you or talk about, and anger/unapproval is shown through silents cause if they have no words for you than your not ‘worth’ their time)

so they would give her to the government to raise and because they are super efficient (and i also subscribe to the Headcanon that Coluans have every few kids and even less orphans)

she would end up in the same house (or neighbourhood) as a another orphan Coluan with his nanny bots.

I think this would be so fun of a set up,

1) as Brainy would be a social outcast but also not shy about it, if that make sense.

2) he has been alone for so long he as zero reason to hide anything, as he is often ignored whenever he dose express anything.

3) he would be rude and weird all the time, because he has zero concept of being around other people in general let alone in a private sharing area

4) the nanny bots would be way more involved then Kara is used to so she would be like WTF at then half the time

5) now i can’t remember if colu has a red or yellow sun (or something else) but i’m going to say yellow cause that’s more fun, so Kara might end up smashing a nanny bot of accident, or if we want to be angsty she might hit her breaking point with Coluan ‘hospitality’ and end up hurting Brainy that leads to an oh so painful line of

‘Your not the first to hurt me like this’

and oh, that hurts

6) if is dose have her powers the people of Colu might see her as a not a danger but a tool, like for science and expansion so they might try and build there planet up more, (But Kara has other idea’s, i’ll get to that later)

7) since she can’t hide how different she is, people would be asking her questions all the time and with her new hearing its a bit to much so Brainy makes her something.

8) the two of them realising that they are both so alone, as Kara is getting the attention he has always wanted, but brainy ‘belongs’ with the people more and is ‘free’ to do what ever he wants. where Kara is being asked questions all the time about her home (as a dead civilisation and only logical stuff like buildings, water mains ect so that is super unsettling to her) and is being tested on her ability’s to do simple or science based tasks so she is never left to do what she wants (nor is she asked).

now to get to the question What would Kara be like,

to answer this I had to look at what parts of Kara came from humanity and the earth as a whole and removing it from what was always there (that’s why this took so long)

to me I think most of Kara’s value's were set in by the time he was put in that pod, Stronger together, and all that good jazz.

so i think it comes down to her human inference's mainly Eliza, Alex and Kenny

what impacted have they had that made her the way she is and what would their abuses bring in its place

Elisa- her momma, her rock and strong guide as a single mother who lost her husbanded, and staying compassionate and calm and patient with her teen girls, so Kara got a lot of calm from her as she was Kara’s ‘eye of the storm’ growing up. so to have that removed would make a really big difference especially if it was replaced with less emotionally driven people.

so Kara may not have felt she could have expressed herself in a way that is the most beneficial to her (emotionally)

so i think this would make her have a quicker temper and she might be more argumentative as a result as she is always trying to be heard probably.

Alex- her sister, her rival, her biggest supporter, her protector and her equal.

without her Kara may not have been ‘put in check’ as much as she was with her new abilities as she was comparative (the gym scene in the Midvile ep) so Kara as a teen was not about using her skills to all of there advantages. And with Alex always butting heads with her, Kara was able to develop an understanding of alternative points of view and how others peoples feelings might impact there decision making.

so replacing that with Brainy, as her closest connection may lead to some different out comes

as mentioned Brainy has limited if not unexciting social ties, so there relationship would be filled with misunderstandings and over analysis, so her teaching that her feelings are different to his and him being a kind of guide to existing on Colu makes there dynamic go back and forth between who is the mentor and who is the student.

so this might make Kara more of a teacher and a leader then she is now as Alex is the one in charge (most of the time)

so Kara being a little more of a strong headed teacher type who is very empathetic to the people situations as she understands they don’t feel or show emotions the way she dose

Kenny-

Kenny her friend and first admirer, Kenny was a lot of things but for the sake of this question i’m looking at his overall impact on her as a person.

Kenny liked and admired Kara not supergirl but Kara was forced to keep her distance but learned later that he knew who and what she was all along. Kenny was Kara’s first hand look at how people see her from the outside.

and thus compelled Kara to be closer to the people of earth no matter how small her interaction with them is e.g saving snakes from trees, talking to people before (asking permission) and after (causal talk) she saves them and looking at things from a ‘ground level’ not just about saving the planet like Clark (what she knew Clark to be anyway)

so without that I think Kara would have a hard time connecting with the coluan people as they aren’t emotion base but they do have feelings so having that learning carve might be an issue (at first)

plus with the rest of Colu ‘putting her on a pedestal’ as a powerful and a uniquely knowledgeable being, this might lead to some impostor syndrome, and since Clark is not there to ‘measure’ herself against she might feel like the whole planet rest on her more and she might have problems finding common ground with people.

So to sum up if Kara had landed on Colu she would be

1) smarter, in that she uses her knowledge to solve more of her problems

2) she is quick to temper but has good intentions

3) is more of a leader and is willing and very able to tech any Coluan a thing or two about her

4) has a lot more self doubt and feels all alone sometimes

5) is every well spoken as she would be explaining things to very intelligent people all the time

But a few other things to add

I think she would totally do the superhero thing after she learnt to deal with her powers (with Brainy’s help and assistants) The gov would not be to happy at first as they don’t see the long term value in what she is doing.

I think after her and Brainy’s rough start they figure each other out become really close as they realise they are both outcast and they want to stick together, to a point where they are almost inseparable

Brainy would get inspired by her and do the same (making his ring and belt prototype) so he could do it with her

when the legion is formed they head to earth together to be apart of it, only to find that plot twist Superman her Kal el has been there and remembered by history and she cry's learning about the man he become.

and i made my self sad, thank you,

this is a really fun AU idea.

#supergirl #karadox #kara zol el #kara danvers #brainiac 5 #brainy #querl dox #this was fun #it took longer then i thought #could be a fun AU #might revisit #like this was a fun little deep dive into kara #and how the people around her shaped her #so that fun #thanks for the question #plus i didn't even get to the brainiac relationships #and my brain did not allow me to go there

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clexaisheretostay · 5 years

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How Can I Be With You?

Kara is an angel, one in charge of fighting against demons walking amongst humans and causing evil to spread in both subtle and sometimes blatant ways. Her brother in arms, Kal-El had been fighting against the most notoriously influential demons known as the Luthors for years as they disguised themselves as a wealthy family on earth. Lex Luthor, in particular, hated him and made it his mission to cause as much chaos and havoc as possible. He had even gone out of his way to attack Kal-El in an attempt to kill him many times over. Things had been tense between the forces of Heaven and the demons of Hell for centuries, but more recently the contention and clashing caused even earth’s humans to notice something was wrong.

If that weren’t bad enough, Kara met Lionel Luthor’s hidden half demon daughter, Lena, at some point on her travels and hadn’t noticed her demon aura since she had been raised amongst humans with her human mother before her death. After her mother died, Lionel took her in and she didn’t even realize that she was a half demon until Kara came into her life but angels and demons aren’t really meant to live together and just what can Kara do when she finds herself drawn to the half demoness? No one in Heaven would ever understand her fascination with the half demon woman.

Chapter 1

So Beautiful To Me

Amongst all of the classes of angels, Kara was a special case. Not only was she one of the strongest amongst the angels, she was able to interact with humans for the sole purpose of helping them find their soulmates. And no, she was not cupid. Not really. She was more like … a guiding force for people bound to each other by the red string of fate. The Chinese got that part right about their belief in the heavens and what happens in the after life when it comes to certain roles of angelic beings. Kara was sunshine, happiness, effervescence, and she was the very definition of light incarnate, she was effusively happy. Everyone who knew her, well every angel, who knew here thought of her as one of earth’s more adorable creatures: a puppy. The angel she was closest to was definitely Alex, her sister figure, and they were thick as thieves. Any time they had something important to do with any sign of danger, one could not be found without the other and they always had each other’s backs.

James, J’onn, Winn, Lucy, Eliza, and M’gann were also like her family amongst the angels she knew in heaven, but no one was as close to her as Alex was. They were each other’s sisters in arms when they had to fight against any demons causing too much chaos, destruction, or tried to rise up to fight them. Any time a demon insurrection was a possibility they were one of the many chosen to take care of it before it grew to the point of losing too many angels in the fight. It hadn’t happened very frequently, but one of the prominent figures in the demon world currently was the wealthy Luthors. They hid in plain sight amongst humans because they were such high-level, powerful demons they could control their less than human appearance. Not only were they strong demons, one of the strongest demons masquerading as powerful, influential humans, they were extremely wealthy. Currently, they were one of three known demons with CEO status over companies in National City. Their own angel, Cat Grant as her human name was, had CatCo Worldwide Media as a way to keep an eye on their activities without them knowing she was one of them, though her blonde hair shining a certain way in sunlight wasn’t exactly human but her brisk demeanor wasn’t much what most people would think of angels. No, her employees probably thought she was a she-devil with how mean she was. She was good enough to fool demons into thinking she wasn’t an angelic being. Cat Grant appeared as human as could be.

Right now, Maxwell Lord, Morgan Edge, and Lex Luthor were known for being the big players but Lena Luthor had stepped into the game in National City while her brother relocated to Metropolis instead, where Clark Kent, a renowned reporter had been planted to keep an eye on his movement. For now, neither Cat Grant nor Clark Kent had given away to the fact that they were actually angels amongst humans keeping an eye on the demons yet. It wasn’t hard to make identities for angels since they had agents of their own for that very purpose just as the demons did. The angels did everything by the book though to make sure they didn’t just come out of nowhere and were found out by the demons they were watching unlike the demons and their seemingly abrupt rise to power. No one really expected demons to do any better than these underhanded methods to get ahead after all. It was expected with their nature. But heaven had its own system and would never stoop that low. No, they played by the rules and made sure that every transition was seamless.

Kara was chatting with Alex about the state of things where they were up above the clouds where most angels went to relax when they didn’t have an assignment or special mission. Of course, there were patches of heaven they could say was their personal space like a home but it was whatever made them happiest. And time didn’t pass up here, not like it did in the human world. For an angelic being, an hour in heaven was a day on earth and so time moved slowly for them. A single day in heaven was nearly a month for humans and for them, thousands of years had passed and still they were no older than the day they came into existence. Time moved so slowly for them that mere seconds were hours on earth and sometimes that was a blessing and for Kara it was sometimes a curse instead.

“I’m so bored, Alex,” Kara whined, pouting at the other angel who laughed at her, amusement causing her lips to quirk up. Being that she was a warrior angel, Alex was more prone to brooding and sarcasm since the warrior angels were more along the stoic type of angels, Kara being an exception since she also handled cases of love. She tended to help guide people towards love so it wouldn’t make sense for her to be a dark stranger approaching someone about being brave and just going for it. Now that would have them running for the hills screaming in terror. Well, that was how Kara imagined things going if she approached humans with Alex’s special brand of broody badass warrior angel of freaking heaven. Alex had merely scowled at her and Kara had laughed.

“That sounds more like a you problem than an us problem, Kara. I don’t know what you expect me to do about you being bored when you could be making people fall in love with their soulmates instead on earth.” Alex even rolled her eyes at Kara. She rolled her eyes! That was such a human thing to do honestly!

“I think you’ve been hanging around humans too much, Alex! You even roll your eyes like human teenagers do to authority figures in their lives when they’re told to do something!” Kara said with far too much enthusiasm for Alex.

“And you are far too chipper even if you are an angel of love.” Kara pouted at her and Alex smirked in response at her pouting lower lip. “What? You know it’s true, Kara.”

Kara resisted the temptation to copy Alex and roll her eyes too. “Whatever.” And then Kara made a face, crinkle that everyone loved to tease her about appearing in between her furrowed brows, “oh! I feel a ping for help coming in! See you in a few seconds!” Every angel felt a different sensation for when they were being called upon by their charges for help. Kara called it a ping because she liked to think of it as a sort of pulling sensation. So, ping for short. Alex referred to her as more of a tug or demand for help because she was in charge of fighting off demons. Particularly, she dealt with lower level demons usually. There were certain areas on earth considered neutral territory that both angels and demons frequented when half demons and partial demons who wanted nothing to do with their other side went. Often, those demons were considered lower level demons anyways and the establishment was actually run by a half demon, half human and their half angel, half human partner. They didn’t allow disputes between any angels or demons who frequented regardless of how pure or impure their blood because it was neutral ground. Those who fought were kicked out for the night and made to pay for each other’s drinks as their penance. Kara would sometimes go there and drink things acceptable for angels that the half angel, Maggie Sawyer, would make. Alex also had a thing for her even if she wouldn’t admit it despite how many times she’d managed to make Maggie think she didn’t like her with her mysterious silence when Maggie tried talking to her when she came in with Kara or as a group with their friends. Samantha Arias was the other owner and had been friends with Maggie for a long time.

It made Kara a little curious that she was being directed to the bar. Of course, the place was made so that no purely human being could enter the establishment, but that didn’t mean that outliers could exist. Someone who had even a single drop of non-human blood should not be able to cross the threshold, however, there was the possibility of someone with just enough blood for it to consider them non-human enough to enter even if they had no idea that they weren’t anything but human. Things like that did happen on occasion and memories were erased more often than not in those cases and they were specifically specially marked as human afterwards for their own protection as a precaution. Kara had no power over those who had any blood that caused them to not be fully human, so her being pinged towards the bar was extremely odd. It made no sense. She could not guide non-humans into meeting soulmates. In fact, Kara wasn’t sure if all half demons had souls. Most did but rejected their souls and half humans sides in order to fully become a demon. Those who didn’t reject their half human side retained a soul from their human halves.

Walking into the establishment she saw both women hard at work and greeted them both warmly. “Hi Maggie, hello Sam! I see you’re both hard at work already even though it looks like it might be afternoon in the human world from how bright it is outside. Though, we all know I’m not the best judge of earth time since it’s so hard for me to keep track!” Kara gave them an almost conspiratorial look, even winking at them with some exaggeration.

“Yes, that we do know,” Maggie said with amusement showing clearly on her face.

Sam interjected with a friendly inquiry, “so, what brings you here today? Is something wrong or are you here for … cupid business,” and Kara pouted at being called cupid.

“No! I am not cupid because that little cherub, as cute as they are, is not the proper representation of someone with my profession! We do not carry heart shaped arrows for goodness’ sake and how painful would it be if I went around terrorizing poor humans who cannot see me unless I make myself corporeal for them? They’d wonder why someone was going around shooting those sharp arrows at their behinds!”

Outright laughing, Sam cleared her throat after a moment, completely immune to Kara’s pout. “And this is exactly why I call you a cupid on purpose and you never fail to deliver. Honestly, it never becomes less amusing,” and this time she elbowed Maggie who wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding her own amusement. They teamed up on her all of the time, only made worse when Alex was also around to join in with some smart quip that never failed to make Maggie give her a look. No matter how much Maggie flirted, Alex denied her possible interest with well placed comments about how she was half angel and was nice to everyone and possibly flirted with many people because she was also half human. And no, she wasn’t flirting with Alex even if Kara was convinced she was.

“Well, whatever. I don’t know why, but I was pinged and felt it from somewhere in here even though I can’t influence either demons or humans. Speaking of, we angels don’t even have red strings attached to us. How did I receive a ping here if I can’t influence any angels or demons of any sort? I’m not sure if someone who is a quarter can be effected by me or not because I’ve never had a call for them either.” Kara looked around, trying to spot the target.

“It could be because my very human father has brought my half sister around and she is very human. She’s actually sitting at that table over there because she’s been making some googly eyes at the one half demon that way since she came in to have a quick drink. They mostly came in to say hi but now she’s turned it into looking at him because he is definitely her type. She hasn’t had the courage to say a word to him yet.” Maggie smirked and Kara knew what was going to come out of her mouth before it even happened. “Go do your job cupid and shoot that dangerously sharp arrow, Kara.”

Scowling but taking the out given anyways, Kara made her way over and smiled as she made herself invisible to humans but other angels, even ones with slightly diluted blood, could still see her somewhat though demons, no matter how diluted their blood, wouldn’t be able to see her or sense her if she was trying to completely conceal herself. Mostly demons with strength near the level of high demons would be able to sense her presence in this state. Some angels had been killed for recon missions because of that fact.

Approaching the woman, Kara was sure she looked like a beam of bright light to Maggie because of her class of angel, Kara sent out waves of energy towards the woman, encouraging her to approach the tall half demon who seemed the quiet, strong type. Octavia seemed to bolster from Kara’s energy and nodded to herself before approaching the man and introducing herself. With her assignment completed, she walked back over to the two women. “Look at that, ladies! I got them talking and I think they’re going to be in love faster than you can say Kara is an awesome Angel of the Red String of Fate instead of that other, silly word, that doesn’t describe me … at all!”

They both burst out laughing, unable to contain themselves in the face of Kara being so freaking extra. “Yeah, okay,” Sam said sardonically, barely managing through her chuckling. “Making people fall in love or rather get on the path to falling in love isn’t your job. Nope, I must be thinking about someone else’s work like … a dating website!” Leave it to Sam to be just as extra when it came to her teasing Kara.

Even angels could be sarcastic, if Alex was anything to go by, “oh, look at you! Having a laugh at my expense,” Kara rolled her eyes. “If there are days I ever wonder if you’re a half demon, well, today’s one of those days I don’t need to wonder when you have that flair up for the dramatics and tease me.”

Sam laughed at that good naturedly, used to Kara’s gentle teasing back at her. “Well, I never need to wonder when the Angel of Love is going to be around!” Maggie high fived Sam for that one, both of them tag teaming her not an unusual thing much to her slight chagrin. However, she wouldn’t change her friendship with either woman for anything because not only did they amuse her endlessly, they were kind above all else and they didn’t let their other halves control their fates or outlook on life either.

Most with mixed blood were treated poorly in some way. Those with half angel blood weren’t necessarily shunned, but looked upon with pity by those who were fully angelic beings for not being able to join them up in heaven because they were still partially human. Humans needed to have their souls brought up to be part of the cycle of reincarnation. Being half human meant that they had to live their extensively longer lives before they were allowed into the fold as an angel or be part of the process of reincarnation based on the lives they lead before their deaths. As for half demons … there were not accepted by most demons. Some humans were ignorant of the world of angels and demons and wouldn’t even bat an eye at the half demons living amongst them. And there were some humans with the power of having a sixth sense to detect when they were in the presence of either evil or great good and could detect even half demons despite their human half’s presence. They were wary of those presences though not all rejected them entirely

It was a lonely and hard existence to not have the acceptance of the half of family that caused the disdain in the first place or only being accepted by very few members depending on whether they chose to shed their human half and become fully demon instead. Sam wanted to change that stigma. After having met Maggie because they were both wayward souls amongst their families in a way, they came up with the idea of the bar being a perfect safe haven for both of their common status as halflings. Thus, Halfway to Heaven and Hell was born. And as word spread about the neutral territory to mingle and find camaraderie in other wayward souls who experienced similar rejection and pain came to be. Now it was the hotspot for almost all of the halflings to gather to commiserate in their miseries and triumphs without having to hide who they were and to find solace in others just like them. The half angel, half humans started to join in after also catching wind of the place being run by one such as them and they found a harmony and understanding in the misunderstood half demons who gathered there. It became cathartic for both halves to interact. And now the bar was never short of customers and sometimes there was a need for a third bartender and a few waitresses extra to come in to help out on the busy weekends. Neither women could be prouder of what they had achieved with their safe haven for others like them. It was an amazing thing to see from the start until the expansion of now with slightly more floor space after a quick renovation with the bar made larger to accommodate the increase in business as well as a kitchen being added to add some food to the menu for those who were drinking too much. The menu was made with food that would soak up some of the effects of alcohol, lean meats as well as heavy in carbs as needed. Even the food was well liked by the patrons, including exotic items from the demon world.

Kara loved coming here to see the two women going on strong. She also enjoyed seeing Alex’s lame attempts at indifference towards her obvious attraction to Maggie and how flustered she’d get when those dangerous dimples were flashing at her. Yeah, Kara loved this bar and its two amazing owners so much. Even when they teased her relentlessly. “One of these days you’re going to get tired of teasing me. I swear. Being half angel, you’d think your angelic side would tell you not to be so mean to me,” Kara said over dramatically, looking at Sam with the worst attempt at affront Maggie had ever seen in her life.

“Yeah, yeah. Like I always tell you, if you really hated it so much you’d stop coming by when you don’t have some kind of mission going on. Just admit it, Kara. You love us and how much crap we give you and don’t deny it! I mean, you do choose to come back every time without fail.” And Maggie wasn’t wrong. Kara was a frequent flyer there even if she couldn’t really pay for drinks with actual currency since angels didn’t exactly have paying jobs. Maggie and Sam didn’t mind giving the angels who visited free non-alcoholic beverages though. More than anything, the angels came for the novelty since they didn’t actually need to eat or drink to survive. The angels who had missions in the human world were able to eat and drink for the sole purpose of appearances and not raising suspicion that they were anything other than human. It was a strange concept, but they at least didn’t eat or drink much and bought the bare minimum and only kept their fridge sparsely filled with food and drinks. No need to waste things and resources when there were hungry, homeless humans out there on the streets. In fact, most angels used the salaries that they earned while on their missions to feed the homeless or provide some kind of shelter or comfort for them. This was their nature. Healing, comfort, encouragement, and being pillars of strength to humans. It was what they were driven to do.

“Okay, okay, so maybe I do enjoy your gross abuse of your human halves right to abuse me out of love and the fondness you have for me in your golden hearts.” Sometimes Kara was a sarcastic angel. It was either Alex’s influence or the fact that she was indeed a warrior angel as well despite her entirely too cheerful demeanor being an angel of love as well. Either way, she had her moments of extreme sarcasm however unexpected it was every time she let it out like she did just now.

“Right, well it looks like you really got my sister’s love meter hyped up,” Maggie said, eyeing the way her sister was practically inhaling that guy’s breath with how close their faces were despite the incredible height difference between them. He was a giant. Nearly a foot taller than Octavia.

“Would you look at that? My encouragement for them is blossoming beautifully! Speaking of blossoming love, I feel another person seeking my presence but this one doesn’t seem to be a human related ping. It was nice seeing you two! You know I’ll be back for that delicious human drink you call ‘apple cider’ meant for fall weather!” Kara had a particular sweet tooth despite not having to consume any food or beverages as an angel. However, she had grown fond of the various drinks that Maggie metered out as safe for angelic consumption since alcohol was not only forbidden but harmful for angels to drink. Something about them were toxic for angels and caused them to feel severe weakness and pain. It could even kill them if they consumed a high enough dosage. That was a discovery by an undercover angel trying to gather information from some lower level demons while pretending to be human and had been severely affected by a glass not cleaned out properly for all traces of alcohol and had quickly gone to throw up in the bathroom and discovering this weakness amongst their kind. Some demons had gotten wind of that, though it wasn’t widely spread knowledge amongst the demon world, and it was now more dangerous for angels parading as humans. One sip was all it took for them to figure out which seemingly human beings were truly angels amongst them.

Kara gave a cheery wave goodbye and left with a flourish, red hearts appearing for several seconds in the wake of her movement where she was currently needed. Every angel had varying aftereffects of them moving where they were needed depending on their roles. Warrior angels were more of a flash of light when they showed themselves to trustworthy people. The angels in charge of individuals or whole family’s had more of a sunny, warm glow. Angels charged with children tended to have a rather bubbly type of entrance, showing effervescence and hope in how they moved around. The angels like Kara tended to have more of a range of pink to red hearts left in the wake of their departure and entrance but in Kara’s case it only happened when she was on a more amorous mission than if she was completing a mission as a warrior angel instead. During those types of mission, she crackled like thunder and flashed like lightning because of how strong and powerful she was even amongst other warrior angels. She had been likened to Gabriel in terms of her prowess before. Kara was very nearly indestructible even. The most powerful angel in a long time.

Upon arriving where she felt her ping, she was more than surprised to see Cat waiting for her in her human appearance as the Media Queen Cat Grant. “Ah, Kara. I know that you are quite busy as bees as humans would say, but I have been tasked with keeping an eye on Lena Luthor from my perch as a human media mogul, as you know, but she is … rather elusive.”

“Yes, of course, Cat. I do remember that Clark has been watching Lex and you have been watching Lena individually.” Kara nodded, confirming what she currently knew of the situation.

Cat nodded her head, “right, but I’ve been having trouble keeping an eye on her because she is … rather difficult to meet with. I want you to pose as a junior reporter or at the very least try to see if you can get a job as her assistant instead somehow. We can’t keep an eye on her if we can’t even get close to her to see what is going on in her office. So far, I haven’t managed to do much of anything with her. Lena is … rather problematic to get into touch with even with my army of reporters. Getting her to grant interviews has been harder than me being mean to my employees Kara.” Being angels did make it rather trying when attempting any type of unkind actions towards those who were considered their charges whether they were personally responsible for them or not.

Kara gave Cat a calculating look, “do you think she suspects you at all?”

Shaking her head, Cat replied, “no, I know it’s not that, Kara. Rather, it is just her nature to be camera shy, I believe. Even before her take over as the CEO of L-Corp for her branch she wasn’t one to be in the spotlight or interviewed for any reason. She doesn’t really use most social media accounts and only recently started using both Twitter and Instagram but only for promotions for her products and release dates for her products. Those social media accounts are as old as how long she has been in office so … just about two months now. In all of that time I haven’t been granted a single interview from her. And in all fairness, no one else has been able to snag an interview with her.” Cat looked calculating as she looked at Kara. “I’m thinking that if Clark and you posed as cousins and both request to interview her … or at least have Clark interview her since you won’t know what to do being new to the journalism world, she won’t be able to refuse a well-known reporter like him.”

“So … what you’re saying is you want me to work under you and try to get close to Lena?” Kara asked, putting the pieces of what Cat was asking of her.

Giving Kara a grave look, Cat nodded. “Yes, I have already asked the Creator for permission. It was granted and the choice is yours, so will you help me Kara?” Kara nodded her assent and not long after she found herself standing right in front of Lena Luthor with her supposed cousin, Clark Kent, as the human named Kara Danvers. And goodness gracious, she was not prepared for how absolutely stunning the woman was. Being an angel meant that Kara had seen many beautiful things in her life but Lena absolutely was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her existence and she had seen some of the most beautiful humans ever created. Lena was another level of gorgeous, so visually stunning Kara stuttered, became tongue-tied, when she was asked who she was by the ethereal woman.

“And who, exactly, are you?” she asked, moving around her desk to sit down in her chair elegantly. Even the way she moved flawlessly spoke of how graceful she was. Kara had never felt this way before in her entire existence and that had been quite a few centuries going towards a millennia now.

“Um, uh, I’m uh, Kara Danvers. I’m not exactly a reporter but I’m with CatCo Media,” she’d answered with as little grace as possible seeing as Lena possessed all of it, it seemed from this little interaction alone.

Clark gave her a strange look and Kara decisively ignored him as Lena responded to her. “CatCo Media? Aren’t they more of a … fashion outlet than a real news source these days?” she asked, looking slightly put-off by where Kara was currently employed.

“Well, I’m just really here to observe so … um, I’m not really going to write anything anyways,” Kara muttered.

“Anyways, isn’t it convenient that when the Venture was going down, you weren’t on that flight?” Clark asked, his question leading and unlike what a journalist would ask.

“Luckily, Superman was there to save the day,” Lena replied to him easily as Clark continued to give her a measuring look.

“Yes, quite lucky indeed,” he responded.

“Just ask me what you want to ask me because I’m quite busy with running my company, Mr. Kent,” Lena requested briskly, opening her notebook containing many notes.

“Were you involved in what happened, the part’s failure seeing as it came from one of your manufacturers?” he asked.

“Are you asking because of my last name or because it was one of my subsidiaries that made the part that failed?” she asked with a calculating look.

He rolled his eyes at her. “I’m a reporter and I’m just trying to do my job by asking you these questions.” Clark had really gotten into his role as a reporter. He had been doing this for quite some time after all, but still, he was quite efficient in his role. For a brief moment, Kara wondered if angels were in charge of aliens and metahumans on this planet as well. Obviously, some of her fellow angels helped guide other species in the galaxy far and wide, but aliens were a bit of a gray area in her opinion. Some species just didn’t seem to gel with angelic guidance. Daxamites and Kryptonians being two examples. With the Daxamites, they were resistant towards guidance. Kryptonians thought that their form of justice had been perfected because no one was killed nor would they suffer in Fort Rozz in the Phantom Zone where no time passed. It was impractical to try to influence or direct a species like that into certain decisions. Some angels still tried as was tasked of them in spite of the difficulty. It was in their nature to help others after all.

Lena gave them a sad smile, “even so, not all of us are the same just because of who our family is. I may be my brother’s sister and my father’s daughter, but I wasn’t always their family. My father didn’t even take me in, claim me as his child, until he adopted me when I was ten. He didn’t want to admit to what he did so now here I am, defending myself to reporters because of my brother’s behavior rather than my own merits.” She paused as she looked at them both, “I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself, can you understand that,” she asked, looking almost vulnerably.

Kara answered her, looking at her with understanding, “yes, I can understand that,” Kara said, looking at her with compassion.

The look Clark gave her showed he didn’t share her sentiments on the matter. “Okay, well, I’ve got an article to write and you seem like a busy woman,” he said, giving her a tight smile. As soon as they left the office, he rounded on Kara, “you’re not supposed to sympathize with demons, half blood or not.”

Kara scoffed, “we’re also not supposed to judge them before they’ve even done anything to warrant suspicion either!”

“Okay, we have things to do and appearances to make. We’re supposed to be cousins on earth so let’s keep that charade going for now, Kara.” She was offended that he was supposed to be above judgment since that was the Creator’s role and not theirs as angels. They only guided and helped humans as well as other creatures of the universe. Both of the Kryptonians on this planet were forces of good and did so without prompt. They were doing just fine on their own. Kara sighed. She wasn’t sure how everything was going to turn out, but she had her mission already laid out for her.

So, first chapter here! Hope everyone is interested about where this is going after reading this new concept! The next chapter is available here as well as my other works at: https://ko-fi.com/post/How-Can-I-Be-With-You-V7V714FLW

姫宮光る

#supercorp #fanfic #au #angel kara #half demon half human lena #angst #badass lena #badass kara #lena luthor needs a hug #kara x lena #sad kara danvers #sad lena luthor #kara needs a hug #alex danvers

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darkmasterkattsvault-arc · 4 years

Text

Kieran Winslow Jack Danvers-Luthor (Danel)

FC: Toby Regbo Age: 18+ Pronouns: They/Them Occupation: Time Traveler & Superhero Basics: Is the time travelling child of Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers. Has a twin sister named Eliza. Uses the last name Danel in the past to keep their true identity secret, considers it a play on Danvers and Zor-El. Wears a power dampening bracelet that has the House of El crest on it, plays it off as being a big Superman fan and cringes every time. More Info: Here

Is queer.

Sexual interactions are 18+ || Romantic interactions are 18+

#my idiots #bio: kieran

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gveret-fic · 6 years

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Prompt: Kara and Lena take their first vacation together

Lena had always imagined their first vacation to be to Cairo, or Rome, or even Istanbul. Somewhere with a deep history or unique architecture. But she supposed, to Kara, who measured travel by light years rather than miles, there was little difference between Shanghai and Midvale.

But, oh, it was fine. Rather than a relaxing, romantic experience somewhere faraway where her face was less recognizable, Lena was going to meet her lover’s foster parent. Which was just fine with her, of course. If there was ever a thing Lena had a perfect track record with, it was mother figures.

“Lena.” Kara placed her hand on Lena’s thigh. “She’s going to love you.” She squeezed. “And if she doesn’t love you, she’ll at least tolerate you.”

Lena let out a laugh. “Thank you for the reassurance.”

“Cuz I love you,” Kara continued. She took away her hand and swung one leg over Lena’s thighs to replace it.

Lena pulled on Kara’s hip to tug her halfway into her lap, rearranging her in a way that was sure to cause Lena’s legs and ass to fall asleep within the hour, but it made Kara giggle, so screw the consequences.

She wrapped her arms securely around Kara and settled in for the rest of their train ride.

If Kara had gone by herself she could probably have flown. But Supergirl carrying Kara Danvers’ girlfriend all the way to Kara Danvers’ home town might have been a tad suspicious.

By the time they reached Eliza’s home, Lena’s entire lower body had indeed descended into pins and needles. She tried to discreetly rub feeling back into the back of her thighs as Kara knocked on the door.

The door swung open abruptly, and Lena rushed to remove her hands from her ass. Feeling caught out, she crossed her arms over her chest, then immediately uncrossed them, struggling to recall the basics of body language.

Meanwhile, Kara exclaimed and jumped to embrace Eliza tightly.

“It’s so good to see you,” came Kara’s hug-muffled voice.

“It’s been far too long,” Eliza agreed.

Kara stepped back and touched Lena’s elbow. “Lena, my foster mom, Eliza.” She turned to Eliza and said, surprisingly formal, “Eliza, um, please meet the woman I love.”

Lena had to cough to clear the inopportune lump in her throat at those words.

“Hello, Lena,” said Eliza, and moved to step forward.

Hug or handshake? Hug or handshake?

Be cool, Lena told herself frantically.

“Lena Luthor. Pleasure.” She held out her hand.

Miscalculation. Eliza was clearly going for the hug.

They engaged in an awkward dance that resolved in a contorted sort of mutual pat on the back. Two minutes into the encounter, and Lena was ready to sink into bed with a face mask and headphones and the resolution to never have another interpersonal interaction again.

“Please, come in,” Eliza said, as if Lena hadn’t just irrevocably lost her right to be welcomed into anyone’s home ever.

Kara pinched her waist. “Relax,” she mouthed. Lena could only give her a helpless shrug.

Eliza showed them to the living room, where a number of chairs faced a long sofa.

Now what? Should she sit? Is the ability to stand up for prolonged periods of time a desirable trait in a daughter’s significant other? If so, Lena is already failing.

“Kara, could you get us some drinks?” said Eliza. “I’ll give Lena the tour.”

Kara waved to Lena cheerfully and went into the kitchen. Lena sifted desperately through memories of Luthor networking lessons as she followed after Eliza.

Eliza’s home was generic to the point of being literally unremarkable. “You have a lovely home, Dr. Danvers,” Lena brazenly lied. Grasping for a polite comment to make, she gestured at the windows. “I, uh, love your drapes.”

“Oh? I don’t really care about decor and all that,” Eliza said dismissively.

Lena privately noted that she had made no comment about Lena’s use of the honorific. Message received, she thought, straightening her back until she felt a slight twinge.

This was going well.

“This was Alex’s old room,” Eliza was saying. “You know Alex?”

“I do.”

“What do you think of her?”

Lena exhaled. Finally, a subject she could compliment sincerely. “Loyal to a fault,” was the first thing that sprang to mind. “Determined, caring, overly self effacing perhaps. It’s clear that awkward charm and selflessness run in the family.”

Eliza snorted. “Never thought of Alex as selfless,” she said. “Well. It’s good you get along, I suppose.”

Lena felt herself bristle. Certainly more selfless than you or I, she wanted to say. But normal families liked to tease each other harmlessly, didn’t they? Not every unflattering comment was meant to belittle or control.

They finished the house tour and joined Kara in the kitchen and accepted mugs of hot cocoa. Trust Kara to make the best possible choice when asked for unspecified drinks.

“So, Dr. Danvers, I heard from Kara that you’ve been developing a multipurpose vaccine with extraterrestrial immune systems in mind,” Lena tried. “We’re introducing a new alien-safe hypodermic needle next quarter, if you’d be interested in a—”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do business together,” Eliza interrupted bluntly.

Lena swallowed her instinctive retort. Kara was nodding as if this made perfect sense to her, so Lena tried not to jump to conclusions.

Kara took it upon herself to carry the conversation for the next several minutes, and Lena silently sipped her cocoa and tried to find an appropriate place to join the discussion. Every time she gathered the will to speak up, however, the conversation had already moved on.

“Lena,” Eliza said abruptly after a four minute dissertation by Kara on the superiority of mutts. “A word, please.”

Lena glanced at Kara, who held up two thumbs and mouthed You got this but offered no helpful objection. Her jaw worked.

“Of course.”

Eliza herded her into her office. “In here. You can sit in my chair.”

My chair needed no clarification; there was only the one. Lena worked very hard on refraining from clenching her jaw as she sat, looking up at a very much still standing Dr. Danvers, Alien Girlfriend’s Foster Mom.

“You seemed nervous today,” Eliza observed neutrally.

“Oh, I—uh—” Lena immediately regretted opening her mouth. “Sorry.”

“Hm,” said Eliza.

“I don’t mean to—You seem perfectly nice,” Lena blabbered. “I assure you, my intentions toward Kara—”

Eliza waved her hand. “I don’t care about that. Kara’s an adult. If she gets her heart broken, that’s a part of life. She would live, and grow to exceed you in every way.”

Eliza’s gaze was calm and unwavering, and Lena found herself unable to look away. She felt observed, assessed, without any idea as to the results.

“I agree,” she said quietly.

Eliza nodded. “Likewise, I don’t care about your politics, or your media presence, or your taste in interior design,” she continued. “I care about one thing. Do you know what it is?”

“Whether—whether I can make Kara happy?”

Eliza made a noncommittal sound. “I’ll trust you with that,” she said, not sounding entirely convinced.

“Then—?”

“Kara loves you,” said Eliza. Lena knew this, of course, but the matter-of-fact words were jarring somehow, coming from her. “This is why she brought you here. She wants you to be part of our family. Do you want the same thing?”

Did Lena want the same thing? To be linked to Kara in the way most profound to her, to have a family that she can be unreservedly proud of, to be part of something beautiful?

“Yes,” Lena said, trying not to make the unspoken duh too conspicuous.

“Then you are,” Eliza said simply. “Go help Kara set the table. And don’t call me Dr. Danvers ever again. You’ll both be here for Passover, won’t you? Bring some appetizers. Grain-free, you remember.”

Before she quite realized what she was doing, Lena was out of the chair and on the tip of her toes, arms around Eliza Danvers. Eliza reciprocated easily, without a hint of hesitation, her grip tight and steady. Another thing that seemed to run in the family.

“Oh, I thought you might just be a standoffish ass,” Eliza observed over Lena’s shoulder. “Now I’ll have to reevaluate my analysis.”

Lena let out a slightly wet laugh. “Thank you.” She was aiming for sardonic and accidentally landed on sincere.

Eliza pulled away with the classic shoulder squeeze and eyed Lena like she knew every one of her secrets. “We should get back before Kara suspects me of assassinating the woman she loves.” Her approximation of Kara’s dreamy, painfully earnest tone was quite good, really.

Lena decided to file her away as mom who enjoys affectionately making fun of her kids. Also under gives good hugs and does not observe small talk etiquette.

Not altogether an uncharming person, in all honesty.

Back in the kitchen, Kara was humming to herself and munching on a bag of dry granola. Kara feeling at home was truly the most absurd, emotionally fulfilling sight.

Lena surreptitiously wiped at her eyes and sidled up to her. “Eliza enlisted me to set the table for dinner.”

Kara turned to her. “Are you crying?” she whispered loudly.

“No,” Lena told her. And sniffled.

Kara wrapped an arm around Lena’s hip, hand dipping down to give her ass a firm squeeze. Lena laughed breathlessly.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kara murmured, putting down the granola and handing Lena a stack of very ugly placemats.

Lena glanced from the placemats to the fridge, littered with Nature magazine clippings, precariously magnetized stacks of bills, and a single tiny cut off photo booth picture of teenaged Alex and Kara making silly faces.

Nevermind Cairo or Rome or Istanbul. There was truly no other place she’d rather be.

#supercorp #my fic #thanks anon!#i took this in a different direction hope you don't mind #anonymous

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lydia-yougowith-stiles · 5 years

Text

My Top Ships 2018

I really enjoyed writing this article last year. So here we go again. Check out my favorite ships from movies and TV this year.

12. The Goldbergs-Erica and Geoff

The Goldbergs has been one of my favorite sitcoms for a couple of years now and I have loved watching the development of Erica and Geoff’s relationship from a simple high school crush, to Erica discovering her feelings, to them now in the current season feeling like an old married couple at times. While they may still have their ups and downs I love how they are always there for one another and they are just adorable. Hope they’re in it for the long run like Geoff assumes they will be!

11. Throne of Glass-Chaol and Celaena

At the beginning of 2018 I started reading Sarah J. Maas’ fantasy novel Throne of Glass. Instantly I could see the love triangle emerge between the assassin Celaena, the crown prince Dorian and the head of the king’s guard Chaol. While book one looked more like Celaena and Dorian would be together I always held out hope for the latter. And then I read Crown of Midnight! That book was one of my overall favorites and I got to watch this relationship form. It was beautiful and then everything blew up. I started the third book in the series and was instantly disappointed because it felt like an entirely new series. So while I have stopped reading it since then Chaol and Celaena will forever be one of my favorite ships.

10. Supergirl-Kara and Mon-El

Mon-El returned to Supergirl last season and while Karamel was apart for the majority of the season viewers got to see a more mature Mon-El. There has always been much debate over his character as well as his relationship with Kara, but I have always been a fan of the Daxamite. In this season he returned to the present from the future where he was a part of the Legion of Superheroes and he was married. Kara, still recovering from the aftermath of season two, was thrilled to see him, but much had changed. While moments of this season were aggravating the two still had some great chemistry on screen. It was still very clear of their feelings for one another, but yet again Mon-El had to leave. This time taking Winn with him (which is a rant for another day). So while they might not have a future this is another ship that will always be one of my favorites.

9. Victoria-Lord Alfred and Drummond

This ship instantly pulled my heart strings and ultimately (SPOILER ALERT) crushed my soul. Lord Alfred and Edward Drummond’s relationship started in season one of Victoria, but truly got its own story line in season 2. As expected in this masterpiece drama there were twists and turns that kept this couple part. Given the time period two men could not be together and Drummond was engaged to be married to a woman. But what none of us saw coming was his death. I still cannot believe it. He will be truly missed in the newest season which will air in the new year.

8. Anne with an E-Anne and Gilbert

Netflix’s Anne with an E returned with a second season this year and we were blessed with more Shirbert moments between Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe. While the beginning of this season saw Gilbert at sea (going off from L.M. Montgomery’s novel), there were still some great moments between the two characters from Anne writing him letters about the “gold,” to Gilbert not noticing her hair and letting her know it was good to see her. And who could forget this important moment (above) from the finale. Fortunately for us the series has just gotten picked up for a third season. I cannot wait to see what’s in store next!

7. Daredevil-Matt and Karen

While against popular ships I found myself shipping Matt Murdock and Karen Page hard as I began season 1 of Daredevil this past spring. In season 1 I took every moment I could get between the two of them and then I was a little too excited when they got “together” in season 2. While it didn’t end well for the two of them there were some really great moments I find myself reliving on YouTube. I have not watched season 3 yet (mainly because I want to continue to watch the Marvel Netflix shows in order and I have only just finished The Defenders). With the recent news of the show being cancelled I can only hope these two end on good terms. (Even if it is not romantically as I may hope. Please no spoilers.)

6. Set it Up-Harper and Charlie

This romantic comedy quickly made its way into my heart and into my top 10 favorite movies (I KNOW). This is all thanks to its lead characters Harper and Charlie. These two assistants were witty, relatable and just had an overall great chemistry that I am upset they are not together in real life. I have honestly watched this movie far too many times and each time my love for this ship gets stronger. I feel like the movie ends too quick because I want to know more about what happens to them. It might ruin it but would it be too much to ask for a sequel, Netflix??

5. Legacies-All of them

Okay, so by saying ALL OF THEM I don’t think I’m necessarily cheating. This show is still in its beginning and still establishing itself. They are still finding their ships and we are discovering the characters. But I have to say I like so many of them that it’s hard to choose just one pairing. Julie Plec has done a FANTASTIC job of having a lot of her major cast interact with one another and they each bring out something different in one another’s characters. One day I’m shipping Hope and Josie and the next I like Hope and Raphael. You can really tell good writing and characters when you can like so many different combinations and not feel mad about it. If you aren’t watching Legacies make sure to tune into the CW because you are missing out.

4. The Originals-Klaus and Caroline

Yes, you did see this ship on my list from last year and that is because Klaus and Caroline are one of my top OTPs. I was excited to see Klaus on the Vampire Diaries so it is no surprise that I was beyond excited to hear of Caroline coming to the Originals in its final season. It was great to see the pair in the same room again. They were both parents now and had grown so much. Every time they recognized that in each other I got chills. So [SPOILER ALERT] while Klaus “had to die” I am extremely glad that he and Caroline got closure for their ship. In a way they were endgame and as a Klaroline fan, always and forever, that’s all a girl could ask for.

3. Dawson’s Creek-Pacey and Joey

Dawson’s Creek was my summer binge this year. I wanted something “retro” that was just about regular teens (no superhero powers or magic). Going into this show I obviously knew a good amount of spoilers seeing as how it started in the late 90s, so I knew that Pacey Witter and Joey Potter would eventually become a couple. I now just had to wait for the when...and while at times it might have felt excruciating, I took any and all moments between the two characters (even before season 3 when things really get set into motion). There is just something so great about a ship between two characters who “hated” each others guts and tease each other constantly. It was well worth the wait because these two have become one of my favorite all time ships. While I am permanently paused on season four (pre their first break up) I have watched a bunch of spoiler videos to know that these two wind up together, which warms the heart.

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine-Amy and Jake

While looking for a new TV show to watch earlier this year it was suggested to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. (Only once I started binge-watching the show did it get cancelled and then thankfully renewed by NBC.) What a great choice it was to start watching this show. The void that was left by The Office and Parks and Rec was instantly filled by this sitcom. The characters and story-lines were hilarious and of course I couldn’t help but fall in love with the slow-burn of Amy and Jake. Again due to spoilers of coming into a show that already exists I knew the two would wind up together, but it was still so great to be a part of. The two are adorable and while the story line does not always revolve around their relationship you know they are still together by a quick line they say in a scene or two. They are just so right for each other. Right now I am catching up on season 5 (about mid-way right now) and I cannot wait to watch the next season premiering in January. So excited to see where their relationship is headed.

AND NUMBER 1 FOR 2018 GOES TO.....

1. THE 100-Bellamy and Clarke

That’s right last year’s number 2 became my number 1 in 2018! While separated for 6 years with Clarke on the ground and Bellamy in the sky the two found their way back to one another. You could definitely feel the tension between the two, which made complete sense after all their time apart but there was still something that brought them back together. My heart still melts when Bellamy finds out that Clarke is alive from Madi and seeing Clarke’s face when Bellamy tells Diyoza that she matters. This ship is the slowest burn of my life and while Jason Rothenberg may still claim that the two will never be (and that we should read the books for that) this latest season gave us Bellarke fans a reason to hope. From Octavia calling out Bellamy’s feelings and saving the traitor who he loves (OMG) to Clarke’s looks every time Bellamy and Echo were embracing. They are the first two to wake up out of the pods and meet Harper and Monty’s son. They are deeply connected and I can only hope for moments like this next season. For now I’ll just re-watch my favorite to hold me over (and that includes Bob and Eliza’s SDCC interviews which were adorable).

Here’s to another year. Cannot wait to see what is in store for 2019!!

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ratherashleigh · 5 years

Text

supergirl 420 stuff in a list by me

this episode was not lit

i’m sorry, this episode was like 80% the absolute worst

BUT THEN KARA TREMBLED LIKE AN ACTUAL LEAF

AND SET RED DAUGHTER’S SUPERCORP SHIPPER BEDROOM ON FIRE

AND THEN KARA GAVE LENA HER TAPE RECORDER AND IT SAVED LENA FROM GETTING STABBED

AND THEN I’M SO SORRY I LEFT YOU ALONE BACK THERE, PUT YOU IN DANGER.

THAT EXPLOSION COULD HAVE KILLED YOU.

IT. IT WOULDN’T HAVE.

LENA....

I DON’T LET MY GUARD DOWN EVER AND I DID WITH EVE AND SHE BETRAYED ME. I LET HER IN AND SHE LIED TO ME EVERY DAY, TO MY FACE, ABOUT WHO SHE WAS.

AND THAT’S WHAT HURTS.

I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL EVER RECOVER FROM IT, BUT I KNOW THERE’S NO WAY I COULD EVER TRUST ANYONE EVER AGAIN IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU FRIENDSHIP AND YOUR INTEGRITY. IT JUST... IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME, KARA.

I’M ALWAYS GONNA BE THERE FOR YOU

this is some of the clunkiest dialogue in the history of this show (but somehow not the worst of this episode*) and yet katie mcgrath reached through my tv screen and grabbed me by the collar and screamed “FEEL MY PAIN, BENCH.” and i did.

asjdhkjdfh.

some other stuff

*that prize onces again goes to the intersection of every time alex talks about being a mother and every interaction between alex and kelly. holy fuck you guys i love kidfic and i love awkward falling in love in weird circumstances and i hate everything about how badly this is being executed. someone help them do this better, please i’m begging you, this story was written for me and i hate it.

kelly’s “do you hear yourself?” was the first time these two didn’t feel like robots, so that was nice

alex talking about her relationship with eliza, and it being so blatantly warped by her mindwipe HURT ME IN ALL THE WAYS

cat grant lives!

brainy’s little helmet!

kara and james hanging was a nice touch of recognition that james is one of the few people left who knows kara is supergirl.

literally expected the president to rip off his face and reveal lex under there. disappointed that didn’t happen.

OH YEAH ALSO THAT TIME LENA AND EVE HAD A SWORD FIGHT 🌈

#stuff in a list by me #supergirl spoilers

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broodyjc · 5 years

Text

Six Degrees Of Separation

First, you think the worst is a broken heart What's gonna kill you is the second part And the third, is when your world splits down the middle And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself Fifth, you see them out with someone else And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little

Alex and Maggie break up, but Sam is there when she still needs to heal on her own

Also here on AO3

First, You Think The Worst Is The Broken Heart

Liberosis.

The desire to care less about things.

Alex was used to pain and its multiple facets. Physical, mental, emotional. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less when it happens again, and again, and again. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t lose her breath, that her eyes don’t burn, that her heart doesn’t clench in her chest as if anchoring itself to whatever it can grab to prevent itself from leaving for good.

To stop caring. To stop hurting.

It would be too easy. Too easy makes no sense in the real world. Too easy is not a reality.

So, it hurts. More and more each passing time. Or, maybe, it hurts less and she just couldn’t compare each loss, each moment. They all have taken their fair share from Alex, from her kindness, from her happiness, from herself.

Losing her father came first. Perhaps, the loss itself wasn’t what hurt most, maybe it wasn’t the realization that her family was smaller then. Perhaps, the most painful memory was having to stare at her mother’s eyes, and listen to the words delivered by someone who was supposed to protect her from everything, from someone who should never be the one to inflict pain.

But it had come from Eliza. And her father never came back.

Until a year ago, Alex had hoped her father would someday come through the front door, first from her mother’s house, then from the dorm she had shared through all the years she spent at college, then from her apartment. None of that happened. Logically, Alex knew it would never happen. But it did. And Alex wished it hadn’t.

The pain was bigger than she had imagined. It was more than she could handle. And it became just another one of those things she compartmentalized, something she knew she someday would have to deal with but, at the moment, wasn’t so important. Until it came a day where it just wasn’t all that important anymore. Like that, it was forgotten.

(Maybe, if she didn’t cope like this, her love life would’ve been way easier.)

Of course, becoming an agent was next. Pain became familiar, a feeling she never thought she could handle became a constant to look forward to everyday. Physical pain meant nothing, physical pain was momentary, a winter breeze that pierced through her skin to go away seconds later.

Alex would take physical pain over any other without a second of hesitation.

Seeing her sister get hurt stirred something inside her she never thought she would feel. It left a bad taste in her mouth, a sinking feeling in her stomach, her limbs aching to do anything, everything to keep Kara away. To keep Kara safe. It was instinct, to protect a loved one, to be able to take all their pain and pour into oneself.

She could only watch. And hope. Growing frustration deep inside her, clenched fists and tears she refused to acknowledge. Pain built from frustration was, by far, the worse. Nothing could compare to the inability to not be able to help, to protect.

Heartbreak was introduced to her shortly after.

Because heartbreak came in form of dazzlingly smile and defined dimples. It came in form of shared laughter, light banter, late nights, passion, love. Love.

Heartbreak came in form of Maggie Sawyer and beautiful, pleading eyes, charm exhaling from every gesture, every word.

Alex lost herself. There was no other definition to explain what had happened. Alex had taken her heart out and handed it willingly, no matter the consequences. As Maggie took it, in trembling hands and hesitant grasp, Alex believed her, believed them, believed it could work.

Heartbreak hurt so much because she was left with her heart back in her hands, a heart that had been under someone else’s care, someone who would look after it, but the heartbreak came with an explanation. Their care was not the same, the way they cared wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same energy Alex had put into it, and that was were the pain laid. That was the source of a heartbreak.

Her heart was given back to her, a little rough on the edges, a little darker, less vivid, less open.

(A little broken.

A lot broken.)

Alex had thought, Alex was sure, that after so much pain she went through, this time would be just like it.

Was she wrong.

Because she had a piece of herself back but not like the shape it had when it left. It was fitting a ball into a cube-shaped box. Some part of Alex was lost, a part she had given to someone else, in hope they would keep it and care for it.

Because Alex could have her heart back, but it didn’t mean she had herself back. From getting a piece of herself from the past, it didn’t mean she, herself, would go back to that place. It took time. Adjustment. Pain.

So much pain.

Heartbreaks were the worse.

Maggie, big, brown eyes stares at her apologetically, eyes saying the words her mind though but her mouth wouldn’t produce, both their hands closed around the confirmation of the end.

(Alex’s heart.)

As Maggie leaves, Alex has to keep standing, arm stretched out, small piece of metal burning in her hand and a big hole on her chest aching to get what it had relinquished so many months ago.

See you around, Danvers.

She wishes she cared less about thing, so maybe, just maybe, the ache on her chest would be a little weaker, that her heart would heal faster. It didn’t worked that way. Alex cared, too much for her own good.

(Alex finds out the hole where her heart used to beat could be filled by cheap alcohol as her heart healed on the outside, shaping itself back into the form it had before, to be able to go back and complete Alex once more.

Healthy coping was never one of her best skills.)

What’s Gonna Kill You Is The Second Part

Énouement.

The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

“You okay?”

At what level?

There is a fairly high number of ways she could answer it in the end, the question just wide-ranging enough to enable a variety to the deepness of the response. The intonation of the question, the delicacy of how it’s delivered, the deep care laced through every syllable.

The numerous ways she could, she should, she was expected to, answer tied intimately to how it was delivered.

You okay?

Most of the times, she would lie. Compartmentalize, store it away so she could deal with her feelings some other time, until some other time never came. It was what was expected, after all.

It was how adult interaction went anyways. No one cared enough to listen, to really listen, even when all they got was a lie. The question and, subsequently, all of its variations were something we were trained from the very beginning to share the words the other person was expecting to hear.

Never the truth. The truth was painful, the truth brought obstacles, the truth was a break from the norm. No one wanted that.

And lying was easy, because they never cared enough to press. Like that, no matter how many times a day she heard it, it never bothered. Not in the slightest. Because she wasn’t expected to share the beautifully harsh truth.

You okay?

And maybe, there was a possibility there would be a crack in her willpower, when the question would come too early and she hadn’t had a chance to put her feelings away yet.

In a moment of inattention, her mouth would betray her brain, her tongue curling around a single word that would bring worry, pity, to someone’s eyes and it wouldn’t matter how genuine the emotion was, it would be there and she would need a way to cover it up.

Over the years, she had mastered the tight smiles, just convincing enough to make even the most stubborn ones drop whatever it was. Over the years, Alex became good in showing nothing but what she wanted other people to see, all of the potential cracks being reinforced.

So far, it had gotten her really far, avoiding conversations she wasn’t ready for yet and, most likely, wouldn’t be ready for a very long time.

You okay?

And, perhaps, it was how soft the voice sounded, how open brown eyes were as if they saw her, as if they cared in the middle of all the confusion and madness that surrounded them they had the time to settle into Alex, realized she hadn’t been her usual self and cared enough to ask about it.

It was something Alex couldn’t quite place her head around.

Call it a motherly instinct, developed once she was supposed to understand and predict every need of a completely dependable human being.

Call it a Sam Arias thing, a person Alex could not have shared more than twenty words with and yet went out of her way to make sure things were alright. Genuine care. What a foreign concept.

Call it a blurry vision, an aching chest, half a bottle of scotch poured into her glass through the night, a numb, constant feeling settling deep in her bones, her need to let go of some things before they consumed her.

Taking the rest of her drink in one go, her eyes settle on Sam (more like, Sam’s general direction), light brown hair falling in waves around her shoulders, arms wrapped around her torso, fingers tucked inside the sleeves of her sweater.

She laughs and it’s bitter, it’s low, it makes the worry grow right in front of her. Sam approaches, head tilted to the side and eyes following Alex’s drunken movements, how her hand comes up to rub at her eyes, until it settles at the back of her neck.

Alex never thought she could break. But the burning in her eyes were proof enough all it took was a little caring, a little effort. A little Sam.

“Maggie stopped by at the apartment today.”

The apartment, not mine. Impersonal. Trying to detach herself from the event. As if, sharing it with Maggie once, making it theirs for a while had ended every possibility of it becoming hers again someday.

And she thinks she already shared too much, because apart from saying things were over, she never got into much detail. There was no need for such thing. Because if it was over what good would it do to go over and over something that would only hurt her in the end?

Compartmentalize.

Or, maybe, not saying anything was what kept her together for so long and, that, she didn’t want to change. Problem is, sometimes feelings were gathered for so long all it takes is a feather to make it spill.

Maggie leaving, Maggie coming back, Maggie so close to her but not hers was not a feather. It was a brick wall. And Alex, god, Alex was so close already to spilling that, when it came, it broke her completely.

Later, Alex would blame everything that happened on her inability of keeping her mouth shut. The idealistic idea of opening up to a complete stranger, to shout your problems to a face she would never see again, to someone who she wasn’t close to, to someone who wasn’t supposed to care. The glasses and more glasses of scotch, making her tongue loose, and her filter wider. The need to let it all out, so she could find more space to bottle everything up again.

(The need to be validated, the need to share, the need to be vulnerable after being the strong one for years to end.)

“She still had some things back there and she just showed up, you know? She called, said she was in town for the job and asked, I didn’t know how to say no. And she was just trying to act like we were in the beginning, as friends, like she didn’t break my heart, it was all too much. Seeing her leave again… no one tells you how it hurts more than the first time.”

Alex doesn’t know when Sam got so close to her, how her warmth moves through the small space shared between them, enveloping Alex in an atmosphere she isn’t actually sure she knows how to breath. She finds she doesn’t mind. It’s hard not to feel safe, not to feel like she can be vulnerable when there’s something so comforting next to her, inciting her to let go, to continue, to share. Because she is going to be there to keep her from hurting further.

“When I met her, I knew she was going to” Sam’s hand lurches forward, wrapping ever so gently around her forearm, the same one which its hand is holding the empty glass, and it is probably the longest Alex went without drinking for the past two months. “she was… everything. Am I bad for wishing I could tell my old self how it turns out? So I could do things differently, to hurt less?”

“No, it makes you human, but we have to accept that there are things we cannot prevent.” Her free hand comes up, thumb brushing against her cheek, retracting the tear Alex refused to acknowledge, and Sam smiles. It’s the first smile she has ever seen on her face and, even if it’s a sad, knowing one, it’s beautiful. Like her. “But I also think that once it happens and it’s over, we have to take our time to understand that they weren’t our book. Just a few chapters.”

The intensity of her gaze makes Alex’s head spin and she has to ground herself to the place they are. The small balcony of Kara’s apartment. Her eyes set into the floor, refusing to look up. Because she doesn’t feel creaks anymore, she feels holes spouting whatever it was inside for so long. It’s scary. It’s the scariest.

There’s a loud crash from somewhere inside the apartment, followed by laughter mixed with concerned words. Sam whips her head around to the source of the noise, her hand leaves its place against Alex’s arm and cheek, the contact being missed the moment it’s gone, and whatever bubble they inserted themselves into is over.

Fragile like that.

Sam only throws Alex one apologetic smile before going back inside, leaving her to watch her retracting form with a burning sensation in her face, one that Alex’s tries and tries to convince herself was not because of a tender hand.

“Fuck.” Alex mutters to the empty balcony, cold air blowing against her face.

She wants another drink.

And The Third, Is When Your World Splits Down The Middle

Kenopsia.

The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

On some rare times, Alex wished to have Kara’s invulnerability. The way her muscles ached after training was not something she wanted to give up on any time soon, but she envies her sister on some instances.

She too would like to punch holes through concrete blocks when she was frustrated, or fucking pissed, which was an emotion she’s been feeling a lot lately. Self control, in that moments, was not something she actually had, a notion that went against everything she had ever learned.

Rationally she knew it was nothing but an aggravation of a feeling, but pissed was too light for what she felt, so it needed more. There were no words to put what she felt in, she could only feel and never be able to explain, to rationalize and move on, not that she ever wanted. Because she was finding out that being pissed, being angry, was an easier way to deal with the world, to deal with her emotions.

Fucking pissed, and it only hurt her physically, the lack of self control growing and the rage threatening to combust.

Alex stares at her recently bruised knuckles, the wounds still fresh and red, open. Bleeding. She doesn’t feel them now, but she knows, even with all the alcohol running through her veins, that it’s only a matter of time. Tomorrow. It is going to be a bitch. Tomorrow, as of today, she is going to wish she had Kara’s invulnerability, so she could physically do what her emotions couldn’t. Like punch a wall at two in the morning, drunker than she’s ever been.

She brings the bottle of whiskey to her lips only to realize it is empty, for how long she doesn’t know, maybe for as long as she’s been sitting at her couch, ever since she got hurt in a desperate act of frustration.

A little spill. Of anger and pent up rage.

Another little spill, and the bottle is thrown across the living room, crashing against the wall into an infinity of smaller pieces. What a poetic way of representing her heart in the real world.

Empty. An insult of an inanimate object that represented the place she lived in right now. Or the place she spent her nights in, because even though less than half of the things were taken away, all the life went with it.

Because there was only one toothbrush at the sink, because the small couch felt too big, because the wardrobe had more than enough space for her clothes, because there were only three framed pictures instead of five.

Because Maggie left and the place that was nothing but life, died. And Alex was left to pretend the world around her, the world she lived in, wasn’t burning to the ground, in a place full of memories of them and not enough memories of her.

Because Maggie left, and Alex was still there, in the middle of the flames, trying to find a way to extinguish them, as well as rebuilt her broken heart and move on. And Alex was alone with the ghosts that haunted her at any time of the day, trying to learn how to deal with the shadow of happiness breathing down her neck.

Learning how to live alone in the world she built for two.

She gets up to grab another drink.

And Fourth, You’re Gonna Think That You Fixed Yourself

Opia.

The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

“Please, tell me I didn’t read this wrong.”

Alex takes more than she would ever admit to anyone to gather her thoughts. There are so many thing she could focus on instead of talking, and her brain has decided to do just so.

Rhythmical breathing hitting her flushed cheek, goosebumps erupting through the length of her arms because of it, the sound of her heavy breathing, her blood pumping through her veins so loudly she felt it in her ears.

Lips tingling, as if every nerve ending trembled from the reminder of what just happened, as if they had a mind of their own and knew what they wanted to do, what they had to do, what they craved to do.

Warmth coursing through her skin, heating every inch of her body, a warmth she had forgotten what felt like. Something so good she felt for the first time in months, being the cause of shaking hands and unsteady breathing.

She opens her eyes and stares, jaw dropping barely an inch, eyes locked, Sam’s fingers tangled in the hair at the top of her neck. She doesn’t know how they ended here, she doesn’t care that much right now. Because every cell of her body screams for her to spring into action, to stop being rational, to give herself once more. Her stunning is stronger, her cells begging for something her atoms could not comply.

“Otherwise this is going to be really awkward.”

Alex just stares, thinks of all the things that led them to this moment.

(An earthshaking kiss that stole Alex’s rational thinking and threatened to shred the thin layer of protection she managed to weave above the hole where her heart used to lie.)

Inconclusive tests, two or three shared glasses of whiskey, most likely not more than four, at Sam’s house, the absence of Ruby fully noted, an afternoon wasted on finding out what they already knew: there was nothing wrong with Sam. Not physically, at least.

Despair, perhaps, of not knowing what was happening, not the full lengths of it, anyways, and the need to be in control of at least one thing in their lives. Desperation from the missing hours, the ineptitude of making the events come back to life in her mind, the absolute despair of having to make one aspect of her life to appear normal, for pretense only.

Neediness. For human touch. To feel something other than pain and worry and sadness. To forget. To have something easy that wouldn’t hurt her when it eventually ended, like most things.

Starving. Emotionally and physically. Mentally.

“You didn’t.” Words come easily once she looks at Sam, her hands come up to grasp at her hips, trying to bring her closer, to flush their bodies together in confirmation that this wouldn’t slip through her fingers. “It’s just-”

“I know.” Yet, she doesn’t let go, she doesn’t try to put distance between them. Yet, Sam looks at her like she has all the answers even when both of them know otherwise, that things aren’t that simple. Yet, Sam pleads. “And I’m not asking something of you.”

“Because of what’s happening now, and there’s Ruby and...”

But Alex slides her hands up, to a slim waist until they stopped just shy of the side of Sam’s breasts, eyes trained on any response she managed to elicit. Blown wide pupils, change in breathing, dropping eyes to a line of sight dangerously close to the one that contained her mouth.

“You’re still healing and we don’t want you to start something to be an emotional crutch. I just thought that, maybe, if we acknowledge the fact that there’s something here, it wouldn’t hold too much power over us.”

“Now that we’ve done that” Alex’s right hand find Sam’s cheek, fingers easing a strand of hair to be held behind her ear, a beautiful blush coloring its tip “fuck it.”

It’s the easiest decision she made in the entire year.

Because the feeling of Sam’s lips against hers lights a fire behind her eyelids she was afraid she would never experience again. Because it should be frightening, how open she apparently was to the potential of getting hurt, or maybe at the prospect of feeling without all the undertones that came with it.

Convincing herself to urge Sam up, longs legs wrapping tightly around her middle, frantic whimpers leaving to wrap themselves around the minimal space between their bodies, is easier than she ever imagined.

Taking Sam then and there, hard, fast and messy against the wall two feet away from Sam’s front door, slickness covering her fingers, hands desperately grasping at her neck as hips ground down to find Alex’s fingers at every thrust, raspy moans spurring Alex to go deeper, harder, until Sam breaks.

What a lovely sight it is.

Sam’s head thrown back, a thin layer of sweat covering her forehead and the skin displayed by her cleavage, mouth open letting out a sound that would haunt Alex for the rest of her days, hair disheveled, neck exposed, pleading to be touched, kissed, marked.

So much skin yet to unravel, clothes still standing in the way of the one thing Alex craved the most.

(Intimacy.)

“Alex.”

It’s soft, breathless, a hushed affection against her ear, and her hands untangle from where they were place so firmly, easing its grip to a caress, resting, finally, against her shoulder. They kiss, slower, softer, much like their first, and it doesn’t take much for Alex to start moving again.

Sam whispers the directions to her, hands too busy working on discarding any article of clothing she managed to land them on, and Sam is thrown into her mattress wearing nothing but an unbuttoned pair of tight black jeans.

Vulnerable. Such an exquisite concept.

Vulnerable. The one thing you are taught from the very beginning to not be, or the world will eat you alive.

Vulnerable. And people cannot know what makes you weak or they will use it against you.

Yet, she is met with vulnerability in brown eyes, one thing she should never look for. It feels like invading on something she was never allowed to in the first place. Privacy. Personal space. The past.

But Sam urges her forward, working on both their jeans, eyes never leaving each others. Feels wrong then, not to look, not to trust. To deny herself from it feels way wronger than the duality of her own personal struggle over all the implications of it.

Alex lowers herself on top of Sam, their bodies fit together in a way Alex stores in the back of her mind, something to analyze later (later), something to freak out about later. Sam opens up to her, and it doesn’t feel like a one time thing.

Doesn’t feel like relieving pent up stress. Doesn’t feel like nothing.

Feels like a promise, feels like moving on, feels like being whole. (Compartmentalize.)

Nails dig at the skin of her back, the hand that wasn’t preoccupied by marking her rests gently against her cheek and it’s enough to make the pace of her wrist falter. They look at each other and she slows down, down, down. Foreheads touch each other’s, breath mingling in their need to not break whatever was happening.

Vulnerable. Such an exquisite concept. Yet, here Alex was, letting Sam see her, no layers covering her, choosing to be seen. Giving herself the possibility of being hurt again.

Sam wraps her arms around her neck, pulls her down and the charged electricity they shared is still there, it just doesn’t feel as heavy once the gaze is broken. Alex finds haven by resting her forehead against Sam’s shoulders and she listens.

Sam is a masterpiece.

She commits every sound, from the tiniest of whimpers to the longest drawn-out moans, to memory. Sam comes (beautifully, magnificently, perfectly), arching her back out of the bed, dragging Alex up with her, sheets wrapped in a death grip, the plane of her stomach too stunning not to be kissed.

The second orgasm is longer, not, in the slightest, less mind-blowing, if anything, is way more. The second orgasm seems like a series of smaller, less intense ones, bundled together in what feels like hours passing.

“Hey there.” She says softly, brings a hand up to brush Sam’s hair out of her face.

“Don’t look so smug.”

But it’s easier said than done, Sam’s voice cracks at every word, it’s deeper, weaker, as if it was produced by more effort than she would admit.

“I could always go again until you let me be as smug as I want about it.”

Sam laughs lowly, a breath of hair leaving her lungs, much alike so many others Alex had seen so many times already. But this one settles against the pit of her stomach and she is reminded of what happened. The intensity. The vulnerability.

(Intimacy.)

Alex kisses her again.

Fifth, You See Them Out With Someone Else

Sonder.

The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as yours.

Reign has gone rogue.

Sam has gone rogue.

It confusing, but it takes her two minutes to understand that it’s not. Because it’s Kara and Supergirl all over again, two different personalities, with their mannerisms, their own agendas sharing one living body. One living indestructible body.

Except that Sam cannot control it and Reign is evil and learning to take over for longer each time. Apparently, Reign took over for good.

It’s been two days, two whole days since Sam came back and it’s the longest she’s gone through, the worry digging its way into her chest until there was no other place for it to plant its roots. Her worry was cursing through her veins, it was Sam, it was Sam out there, getting hurt, blaming herself for what was happening. Sam, caring, beautiful, breathtakingly kind Sam. And there was nothing Alex could do.

She stands high at the DEO, arms crossed in front of her chest to keep her hands away from running through her hair, jaw clenched to prevent her teeth from biting her lip, eyes unfocused to prevent herself from crying.

It’s Sam and it hurts more than it should.

Alex was used to pain, that was something she could handle. That’s the thing. She could handle the pain. She couldn’t handle the people that she loved (Sam? Sam.) being hurt.

(The scars of her heartbreak were still too fresh and too recent, but she had gone through it, she had made it. Not in the healthiest of ways but it was over now, no need to mull over it.)

She wishes she was the one out there, because she could deal with the pain, she could handle the harmful thoughts, she could deal with whatever consequences of being Reign caused her. What she couldn’t do was stand back and wait for things to unfold.

It felt like watching her sister all over again, waiting and waiting, hoping she would be okay no matter what.

Right now, on top of Kara, invulnerable Kara, finding someone stronger, faster, dirtier, and still flying face first into danger to protect, she still had to worry for Sam. She couldn’t pick a side, because she couldn’t lose any of them.

“Alex!”

The tone is rushed, the timber of the voice one that she hasn’t thought she would hear again so close to her, unless through a phone. Before she can second guess her gut, she raises her hand, stopping the agents running behind Maggie, her eyes taking her in.

She hasn’t changed, Alex doubts she can. There would always be a warmth associated with Maggie, it was in the way she looked at her, trusting eyes and crooked smile, begging Alex to open up.

The shock leaves as fast as it comes, she has more important things to worry about, even if things are brought to the surface with Maggie back, emotions she worked so hard on pushing down clawing back, ripping apart the sensitive, thin skin covering her wounds, making her bleed.

Funny thing, once you reopen it, it bleeds less. It hurts less. Because if the surface is sealed, it meas that some part deep in the flesh has healed, and once opened again, that part doesn’t bleed. Only what’s above.

Feels like it right now.

It bleeds, it hurts, but it’s not the same. Alex can breath, Alex can look at Maggie and not ache for contact, not beg for attention and love, she’s past that. She’s healing.

“Maggie.”

“I heard about Reign.”

“So you rushed all the way from Gotham to help?” Eyebrow raised, amusement on her eyes, small smile on her lips. Teasing feels light, teasing feels like reaching out for a possible friend.

(Teasing means distracting her mind from all the injuries Kara and Sam might sport once they manage to get them back.

Hopefully only injuries.)

“You know me.” She shrugs, smile imitating Alex’s and the subject is over.

It’s not painful, understanding they have nothing to talk about anymore. Or maybe they have, but this isn’t the moment.

When Alex looks above her shoulder she sees the monitors tuning in on one of Reign’s footage, flying above the city, exuding a power she was yet to see. Her body turns towards it instinctively, eyes softening at the sight of Sam. Not Sam.

Not Sam.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Alex doesn’t look at her. She can’t. Because her heart is back in her chest for the first time in what feels like forever, and she feels it rooting its place back, to the same shape it was to begin with. She feels herself going back to being complete, veins connecting, heart pulsing, blood pumping.

She doesn’t need it to hurt again. She can’t make it hurt again. It’s still too soon to confront it, but, maybe, the day is getting closer.

Just a few chapters indeed.

“Go home.”

The lightning of the screen of Maggie’s phone draws her attention, eyes settling against it before she can decline the call. She feels her heart pulsing rhythmically, growing stronger by the second, threatening to flee from its place and back to Maggie’s hand.

It doesn’t. Because it calms itself down a minute later.

The understanding that people around her have complex’s lives, much like their own, and they are allowed to just be. Because as much as her life felt like the center of the world, the rock that everyone could lean into, that was just her universe. Everyone had one, just as consuming.

Maggie wasn’t different. Just because she was once part of Alex’s doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own, where her own people would be part of it as well. Her own friendships, her own family, her own problems, her own job, her own love.

“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

She stops, eyes fixed on the face that would haunt a lot of dreams, black mask, black lipstick, black suit. A heart of gold. Reign hoovers above CatCo, fear installed around her, but not for Alex. The only fear she feels is for Sam.

The memories are easy to come back. Ruby. Sam’s hand against her cheek, Sam’s smile at her silly jokes, Sam’s kindness towards her when she wasn’t feeling worthy of any, Sam’s caring when Alex’s wasn’t so lovable.

(Sam’s hands clawing at her back, the feeling of their skin touching, Sam’s moans against her hear, the breathy whimpers, her kisses, her eyes, the way Sam looked at her, Sam’s laughter against her neck every time she forced a curse out of Alex’s mouth.

Sam.

Just that simple.)

“I have to get her back.”

(Alex stands close when she’s brought back unconscious into the DEO; she sits on the floor by the cage, and her heart bleeds at the thought of cage, that’s restraining her; she listens to everything Reign says, her threats, her curses, her story; she cries at the thought of Sam being long gone, nothing but Reign in the body she desperately wants to have back; and she holds her hand and doesn’t let go when Sam comes back almost two months later, and Reign is dead.)

And The Sixth, Is When You Admit That You May Have Fucked Up A Little

Altschmerz.

Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Over. Seven months of terror ended rather peacefully. It’s actually a very hard idea to wrap her head around, it’s over, Reign is gone and the threats are nothing they couldn’t handle without breaking a sweat.

Reign is gone and there is nothing to worry about, because they are safe. Kara is alright, nothing but a few well placed bruises that healed in a couple of hours, her sister was alive and completely fine, and the energy Alex was spending on keeping her anxiety radiating from her skin had to move somewhere else.

Reign is gone. And so is Sam.

Because Sam needs to heal. Physically she got out of it better than even the most optimistic ones in the team would ever imagine, the powers she developed seeming to numb once more and, therefore, there was no reason to keep her here. There wasn’t a development in her condition and Alex couldn’t keep her locked up.

There was a discussion around the topic, one that ended with Alex’s glare at any suggestion to inflict even the slightest pain on Sam.

Physically, Sam was better than ever. No one but her knew the damage of having a Worldkiller inside her mind, sharing her body, her actions, her intentions.

Alex tries not to think about what Sam told her, about how it felt when Reign took over for good, how it was like seeing things from the driver’s seat but not having the strength to change any of the actions.

Sam is the only one who can carry the burden of what Reign has done, that type of healing took longer, took distance, took hurting too much before getting herself back together. Alex would be the biggest hypocrite if she didn’t let Sam go. Knowing the right course of action didn’t mean it made it hurt any less.

As much as she would love to deny it, it felt like opening up every wound she’s ever had, and it wasn’t enough. It felt like ripping them apart, forcing the cuts deeper and wider, because she didn’t want to lose Sam. Not when she just got her back.

Her legs stop, even when her brain urges her forward, to end this before she hurt too much. Self preservation was never her best.

Sam looks over her shoulder, she whispers something in Ruby’s ear and the teenager barely nods before going inside the car parked in front of Sam’s house. Sam’s old house. The one that stands behind them, which used to be a home and now it was nothing but a congeries of bricks and steel, huddled together.

A house but not a home. Bare walls, empty hallways, the absence of sounds around the house, the proof that the place was lived in, gone. Gone, just like Reign is and how Sam is going to be.

The hold she has on the suitcases loosen up, and she is met with the reality that Sam is actually leaving. That, at the moment, Ruby is inside their car, the moving truck having already left earlier that morning, and Sam stands three steps down, the three steps that lead her to the porch. To staying.

Three steps that mark the end of a year. She is leaving, and, with her, the undertones of a possibility of them, and Alex is not ready to let got.

“I really want to be selfish right now.” Sam steps up, the soft light of National City shines against her hair, a golden aura wrapping around her figure. It only brings a tightening on Alex’s stomach, a pressure she knows all too well. “Ask you to stay.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

A look over her shoulder is all Alex needs. If it’s being too much for Sam, strong, independent Sam, she can’t even begin to imagine what the whole ordeal took on Ruby. If Sam was the one who experienced it, Ruby was sitting on the passenger's seat for the whole drive.

They have a relationship to rebuild, Alex can understand that. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Rationally, of course I do.”

Sam’s too close, yet, not hers. Hands rest against her shoulders, pulling Alex forward so they’re touching. It’s the closest they got ever since Alex dared to dream she could have her, there’s too much to think, too much to focus.

How Sam’s bare legs are inches from her hands, how Sam’s smile is still the brightest, how Sam’s eyes till seem to see her, much like the very first night, standing in a small balcony and a label of nothing but acquaintances between them.

Compartmentalizing was never a good tact once it came to Samantha Arias. Because Sam had a way of making Alex lose her willpower, her feelings spill and her need crawl up her skin. Compartmentalizing never worked on Alex’s feelings for Sam, because it was something Alex didn’t want to store for later, she wanted to face them. Consequences be damned.

She leans her head down, forehead resting against Sam’s shoulder, face finding shelter against her neck. Alex pulls her closer by the waist, tries to control her breathing, tries to ignore the sinking she feels and knows all too well.

“Feels like I’m scaring you away before we even got a chance to understand.” Her voice sounds hoarse, strange to her ears, even in the low whisper that delivers the words, terrified of showing her emotions too loudly. “The truth is, I fucked up. With Maggie.”

Her grip tightens around Sam’s waist, a way of saying she couldn’t do this, she wouldn’t be able to continue if she had Sam looking at her. Sam lets her, the realization that Sam knows her needs without Alex having to voice them confuses her further. Eventually, she would have to face them. Eventually, because she would have way too much time now that Sam was leaving.

“I did. I rushed things, I asked for too much too fast, and I brought too much of my own shit into our relationship. I fucked up, big time. And I can’t, I just can’t shake the feeling that I did the same with you.”

With us.

“Hey, don’t. Look at me.” Her finger are soft, they leave a trail of fire against every single inch they touch until they settle on her cheeks, urging their eyes to meet. She doesn’t mention how her eyes shine, doesn’t mention unwashed tears. Acknowledging them would only make things harder, it would be the understanding that Sam is hurting as much as Alex. That she cares as much as Alex, even though that was something she knew from the beginning, because Sam never hid. “You are allowed to want things. Your needs are valid.”

“No, I-”

“Alex.”

Sam kisses her. Sam kisses her and, suddenly, she isn’t leaving anymore, they aren’t standing in the porch of what used to be the Arias’ residence, they aren’t kissing fifteen feet away from Sam’s daughter, a girl Alex loved with all her heart, even when it wasn’t on her chest.

Sam kisses her, and it feels like things are easier than they are. A Sam Arias’ thing, of course. And it’s long, sweet, lacking the urge of their first kisses, as if they had all the time of the world.

They didn’t.

When Sam rests their foreheads together, she sees the tears, it’s one of those things she quite doesn’t understand fully, but feels right. There’s no need to question it.

“It’s not your fault. There are divergences we cannot ignore and they are enough to end something good. And learn and grow from there. And it’s okay if you fucked up, because it’s what we do, we fuck things up. But we do better next time.”

Alex presses their lips together, it’s way faster this time, when Sam stars pulling away, putting distance between them. Physically forcing herself away before she gave too much of herself and turning back felt impossible. Alex definitely felt that.

Alex felt like losing herself, like giving herself up all over again. Like jumping of a cliff before knowing what was below the edge. Water or ground. She understands, then, the necessity of leaving, of looking over what was waiting for them before going forward, before leaping.

One foot. Sam stands one foot out of her reach, a sad smile on her lips and visible tear streams on both sides of her face.

“About us? I think we still have to heal, even if it’s easier with someone along the way. There are some parts of ourselves we have to mend on our own, and we can’t let other people do that for us before we can fully move forward, to what we want but cannot have at the moment. Otherwise, how can we learn?”

Feels like delaying the inevitable. Alex is okay with that. Still, her insecurities get the best of her, and the words leave her mouth in a barely audible whisper but Sam catches. Alex is sure, then, that Sam would always be there to catch her.

“Was I just a chapter?”

“You are my whole damn book, Alex.” Her smile grows, she takes the suitcase Alex carried outside. “I’ll see you around, Danvers.”

The words sting, they do because they hit too close to home, because they were the final stop of what she had built before. Maybe it’s just the confirmation Alex needed to understand she still had some work to do on herself, after all.

Maybe the day she is able to move on completely is way closer than she thinks.

“I’ll see you, Arias.” Not a goodbye, but it surely feels like one.

She leaves. Sam leaves and Alex forces her heart to stay rooted in its place, to stop its endless pursuit for things she could not have at the moment.

She goes to Kara, because there’s no one else in the entire world she ought to share everything with. She goes to Kara because she is spilling and, now, seeing things clearly, she feels foolish for not going earlier, for not relying on her sister as much as she should’ve.

And Kara listens, like she always does. And hugs her when her voice cracks at the first mention of Sam. And holds her when she eventually breaks, the weight of losing, not only Maggie all those months back, but also Winn, Ruby, Sam.

She goes to Kara, because Kara is her sister and the healing she has to do by herself starts with rebuilding the relationship she neglected the past couple of years.

Recovery is a bitch. A necessary one, but a bitch nevertheless.

Seventh? You Learn To Move On

Jouska.

A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

It takes Alex one hour twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds to finally let go and she feels her last scar molding back into unmarked skin. She feels the skin of her chest smooth, no bump or trepidation.

No scars. She is complete.

There are some parts of ourselves we have to mend on our own. And she stands tall in front of the ocean, watching as the waves rhythmically crashed against the shore before being pulled back, each time taking the ring further and further away from Alex.

Free. She is finally free. Not from the memories, no, those were carefully locked away in a part of her brain and of her heart she had reserved especially for that. To remember and to feel, to smile at what she had gone through and to look back at it and be able to say she grew from the experience. She is free, from the pain and hurt she carried for so long, the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one.

To appreciate what she had gone through and to thank for the lesson her older self needed, but to understand her present self didn’t. It’s letting go from everything, but keeping a souvenir from the ride, as a reminder, to cherish and care for.

Her souvenir were the memories. They were something impossible to let go, because they were happy, they played an important role on molding her into the woman she was today. The woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it and was not going to let go this time, because it could work. It should work.

She spends the three-hour drive back to her apartment reliving. And it doesn’t hurt. Her heart is beating peacefully on her chest, a quiet reminder that it’s over and she turned out okay, as the past moments come and go.

Their shared Valentine’s Day, as they danced, foreheads touching, and the love that spread through her chest, the realization that this could be it. The shared morning afters, all of the awkwardness giving space to stolen kisses and playful banter. The words they shared in red anger and the differences in viewing the world, things they could not ignore and that pulled them further and further away from each other until they were already too far gone.

Everything. Alex found out she was glad for everything.

With a smile, calmness washing through her, Alex takes off her helmet, leaves it at the bike’s compartment, and heads towards the entrance of her building. The door closing behind her feels like the metaphorical ending to the real one.

It’s not until she is inside the elevator, red number changing as she goes up, hands fidgeting with her unlocked cellphone, that reality finally crashes with her.

Reality being, she knows what she wanted, for months now she did, and she got to that point after too long. She was ready. What she wanted, though, didn’t depend only on herself and her ability to heal.

Sam. A thought that hasn’t left her mind ever since the last kiss they shared, sunlight lighting her eyes, black spots blurring her vision, or maybe the thought hasn’t left her mind since the moment Sam kissed her, hushed and sweet. Sam, and the never-ending possibilities they have once they are both on the same page. Sam, and the dark limbo she was left in when she left, not a single second of communication since then, apart from sporadic texts with Ruby, knowing that there would be a someday and not knowing when.

Alex’s fingers hoover over her contact info and she knows that if she had a single drop of alcohol at the moment, she would’ve called without a second of hesitation. The need to hear her voice was something that had happened too many times already, and always left Alex with a bad taste on her mouth once she decided against it.

Space. Sam had asked for nothing but space to pull herself back into something that resembled the Sam before everything happened and Alex had to give it to her. So she waited for Sam to reach out, and hoped that one day she would.

Sam never did.

The doors of the elevator are already closing when she snaps out of it, rushing out before she is led to a floor that isn’t hers, tucking the phone into her pocket. She freezes, she freezes standing a handful of yards away from her apartment because Sam stands in front of her door, fist raised in the air.

Sam is more beautiful than ever, or as beautiful as ever and Alex was letting the time speak louder than ever before, to allow herself the longing she tried so hard to convince she was not feeling. Sam is as beautiful as ever.

The tips of her hair barely touching her shoulder, her profile accentuating the definition of her jaw and Alex can’t help but stare. She can’t remember how to breathe, the beauty standing in front of her taking all of her focus and Alex would gladly die from it.

Four months. It’s been four months without contact, no call, no text, only memories in the late nights as she laid down on a bed deemed too big for one and sleep came in waves, crashing then retreating.

Minutes of peace succumbing to restless awaking. Sam on her mind. Sam always there.

Four months and the first thing Alex wants to do is touch her, to make sure the feeling she committed to memory makes justice to how it actually is. She doesn’t think so. Because touching Sam is a different experience each time, it races Alex’s heart into a different tune every time it happens.

But Sam brings her fist down, shakes her head and turn around, arms crossing in front of her chest. She sees her. They see each other and the words Alex practiced over and over on her head, the way she always thought their conversation would go once they were finally at the same place again, are gone.

The conversation she ached for so long to have and the one she had planned and rehearsed gets lost, because Sam is here and no amount of time could’ve prepared Alex for it.

“Were you leaving without even saying ‘hey’?”

Sam laughs, Alex laughs with her, and the tension she hadn’t even noticed dissipates. They get closer, not touching, because Alex is afraid that once she starts she won’t be able to stop.

Unfortunately, before anything happens, there are words that need to be shared. Four months worthy of words.

“When did you get here? How did, I mean, how long are you staying?”

“This morning. Lena picked me and Ruby up from the airport and she insisted on letting us stay at hers until our apartment is free to moving in.” Her fingers come up, brush a wild strand of hair from out of her face and to the back of her ear, a burning growing in Alex’s hand from knowing she wanted to be the one responsible for doing that. “She’s also staying with Ruby tonight so I could come get some, her words not mine.”

Mischief shine in her eyes, the hairs in the back of Alex’s neck rising at the promise, at the bluntness of the statement. Not that it made it any less real. It was inevitable.

“Come get some means never knocking?”

“I had a whole speech planned, in which I would confess everything, but you’re here and… I was scared.” Sam admits in a whisper and the atmosphere around them becomes charged with the soft admission in three words.

Vulnerability, a concept Alex was very unaware of for too long and now was a routine when it came to Sam.

“Of what?” Her tone matches it, a low exhale in an even lower voice, afraid of breaking the shared confession they were getting into.

Sam’s hand rests against her chest, their eyes meet, a long gaze in which no words were needed because Alex understands. They understand. But Sam continues and her voice breaks, but the words are out and a choice is to be made.

“That even after so long I still feel too much for you. That I want you but it’d be too late."

It’s enough for now.

Alex kisses her, hard and numbing, way different than all the kisses they had already shared, because this one conveys months of pent up emotion Alex was never able to keep from Sam. This one, a couple of minutes long, is made to pour every single emotion she had on the months when Sam was all that went through her head.

Alex kisses her, and Sam’s mouth opens for her, as if she had been waiting for it since she stepped into the building. Their tongues meet and Alex feels strong and weak all together, a feeling she could only describe as Sam Arias. None of the simulations comes close to how it turns out, not even in the most optimistic ones.

They kiss and it’s electric, heart racing, toes curling, breath taking, everything Alex knew that was entirely attached to Sam. And they still had a lot to talk about, but it could wait until later.

Way later.

Because Sam’s hands were already under her shirt, resting against the skin of her hipbones, drawing small circles in it, and Alex was painfully aware of the growing slickness between her legs, the tightening in her chest that Sam is back for good, that Sam wants her.

When she comes back for air, the smile she is met with is bright, lovely, and it makes her want to rip her heart out and hand it to Sam. But she grew and learned that she didn’t have to do that for Sam to know Alex was hers. Completely.

Her thumb brushed against Sam’s lips, still not believing she was here, even after being able to kiss her, to hold her.

“I loved the hair, by the way. Very hot.”

Alex laughs, runs her fingers through the length of it, still unused to the feeling of the shorter parts.

“I have to say the same. But you mentioned that you are free for the night?” A nod is all she gets before she kisses Sam’s cheek, lips dragging until they press against the shell of her ear, she smirks at the gasp it elicits. “Wanna go to my place?”

They don’t talk, they don’t need to. Because they have time.

Time.

She wakes up in the middle of the night to an empty cold bed, crumpled sheets and the absence of clothing, every piece that she finds thrown in a path leading to her bed, the only indications that it wasn’t just a dream. That Sam is back. To stay.

Her window is still closed, no light coming from the outside, too deep into dawn to shed any light through the glass. It’s were she finds Sam, sitting in her naked glory at a chair probably dragged from the dining table, eyes fixed on the night ahead of her, the quietness provided by the lack of threats, something she never thought she would find strange.

She doesn’t have to think twice before going to Sam, crouching down in front of her, taking the hands resting on her lap into her own. Offering comfort, a thing Sam was more than willing to receive.

“Come back to bed.” She whispers, come back to me.

Even in the dark she sees her smile, because it’s Sam and it didn’t matter how far they were, how dark it was, Alex would always see her. It’s Sam, it’s enough of an explanation.

“I remember everything.” She doesn’t need to clarify, because it is the one topic they would never talk about in daylight, something too painful to taint the beautiful light they shared and something way easier to say when they didn’t have to look at each other. “I can’t sleep.”

“I’ll stay with you.”

Sam nods and allows herself to be pulled up from the chair, allows herself to be kissed and led to bed, allows herself to be dragged under sheets and tucked under Alex’s chin.

They fit, easily even. Sam holds her tight, close, every inch of uncovered skin touching as if she is afraid this could end, that this isn’t real. They aren’t real. She breathes raggedly until Alex reaches out, lets her fingers graze against the expanse of her back, goosebumps erupting with each passing second.

They fit, and Sam calms down. Sam allows herself to be loved, to be cared for, physically matching the feeling inside, melting against Alex’s touch.

Alex lets go of a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding, leaves a kiss on her temple. Sam feels like coming home.

A whole damn book, indeed.

#danvarias #danvarias fanfic #agentreign fanfic #AgentReign #that was a ride #now i'm gonna go cry at a corner #then watch runaways #if you'll excuse me #supergirl #supergirl fanfic #my work

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