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#everyone knows they're not doing it for the empire
air-mechanical · 1 year
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Consider all of the TIE fighters lost. Mark their captain for a citation.
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This is why Thrawn's people are so loyal to him. He'll deploy his troops when needed - he'll spend his resources without regret so long as something can be purchased with them - and will honour them if they don't return home. They will be remembered. This was important for his people and for Thrawn himself pre-exile. But for the critically low numbers currently aboard The Chimaera In Exile, it's critical.
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rhaenin-time · 4 months
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(usually) white people screaming at me that it's hypocritical to see the nuance in and appreciate Valyria and the Targs (which are always weirdly conflated) because I'm native is just as ridiculous as calling me a hypocrite for watching Magnificent Century or choosing to not (weirdly) single out the Ottoman empire as the one true evil above all other empires in the real world.
Excuse me? They didn't colonize me. YOU did!
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stairset · 1 year
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I also generally disagree with the idea some people seem to have that All Star Wars Should Be Like Andor Now cause like. I do like that Andor was different from the more traditional Star Wars feel cause that shows how varied this franchise can be. You can fit many types of stories with different tones into the Star Wars universe and that’s a big part of what makes it so great. So when people are like “every Star Wars thing should be like Andor” I just hear “they should take away the variety and make everything the same now” which would make the universe way less interesting. What works for one series doesn’t necessarily work for another, even if they’re part of the same franchise.
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 11 months
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okay so like two things about this particular line.
one: i like the irony in claude telling someone to trust more.
two: HOWEVER, dimitri has literally absolutely no reason whatsoever in the name of yeehaw fuckity to not trust claude. i hate the way the game tries to absolutely force the things gw/sb claude does into ag when it doesn't even exist at all in ag. he never made a single hint of planning to just betray/harm the kingdom and this is literally at their first war meeting. not just that, but claude chose to go to faerghus himself and didn't ask them to go to leicester (which he specifically states being the one to choose to go to faerghus), so there wasn't anything indicating he might be up to something at all.
then we've got this stupid nugget:
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each side lacks trust and is expecting foul play? the church expects foul play from the kingdom? from the alliance which has done nothing to them in this route, and that's bad enough... but the fucking kingdom too?
the kingdom and alliance watching for foul play even though they're allies and never had a history of being aggressive toward each other?
i know i've talked about it before but... i just hate how they tried to force this "claude is always scheming something terrible" plotline, even where it doesn't belong. then they also added in the dumb bit here about even the church not trusting the other armies, even though they've... literally been helping them, gratefully, this whole war. they also didn't have to fight but chose to out of gratitude for being sheltered.
suddenly after the timeskip they just... don't trust each other?
like i totally get just being in it to reclaim gm and go home and not really in it for someone else or anyone else, but the distrust is just an asspull to make the church seem BaD as usual.
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claude just walked in and wasn't trusted. they also keep hammering it in right through the whole second half of the route with lots of kingdom allies (including playable ones) not trusting him. even if they relatively trust the alliance and the soldiers helping them that were integrated into their army, they specifically do not trust claude at all and are apprehensive about him.
dimitri agrees here if they can't be trusted, but he doesn't mention just personally distrusting them a whole lot. he agrees that they should be cautious if what the others say is true, but he also just shrugs it off as "they'll be enough to deal with the alliance if so". he seems unsure at first and kinda goes back and forth, but by the end he's the only character who faithfully believes that claude isn't just fucking around and leading them on (which literally, right to the very very very end, every single character except him is still very vocally doubting claude).
but like... why? there's... just... nothing to distrust him because of in this route. man literally exists and the game wants us to believe he's untrustworthy.
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yeehaw wtf??? why would anything happen between the kingdom and alliance after the war? why would anything need to happen? even if you try to argue that claude is gonna try to uwu depose of the top church officials, if the church is watching the kingdom like hawks like dimitri is apparently aware of, why would the kingdom get involved? why would they care? clearly the church doesn't trust them all that much after all, or at least anymore since the timeskip for some unknown reason, and the kingdom has now, after this war, paid back any debt it owed the church.
so like, why would they suddenly rush to the church's aid and help them if the church doesn't trust them? if they were friendly/allied it would make sense if they still wanted to help, but if the church is expecting foul play from the kingdom, why would the kingdom even care what happens to the church? they could turn a blind eye and pretend they don't have the resources to aid them anymore and that their own territory is still busy recovering.
even if you argue what they discussed at the very beginning of the war, the church either A: didn't ask for aid in this second conflict, or B: even if they did, the above stands. i don't think there would be any riots or anything like that in those cases if the kingdom didn't help the church. it's one thing to help, but it's another to just fight at the back and call of another territory, which dimitri clearly expresses he won't do in gw because he puts the safety of his people first. no matter what his feelings are on the matter, he knows he's a king and that he has a responsibility to his people first and foremost, as would be expected of a king (to protect his own people first and foremost).
while i could see claude wanting to talk after the war and get things straight, and while i could see dimitri there as a mediator, there's just... literally no reason for bad blood after all this. even if they don't trust each other, there's just no reason - and that's aside from the fact that it's total bs that they all just don't trust each other.
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lorenz just asks if shez has confidence in them. doesn't mention claude. shez though just... randomly is like oh yeah btw just not claude. totally unprompted.
lorenz distrusting claude has been part of his character since houses so his part of it is reasonable. normally i'd say it's really pushing things with claude not being trustworthy for someone to say they feel bad for shez/the kingdom army for the implication of having to deal with claude even as an ally, but the only reason i give this a pass is because it's an understandable and reasonable character who says it.
still though, it's like the game throws it in at every single possible opportunity for no reason at all. they don't give us any indication that claude is this big bad evil guy. he doesn't trust the church. like... that's it. he made that clear even in ag (even without the zaharas chapter), and that's just... it. the rest of this makes it seem like claude is going to just up and invade the kingdom after this war and try to unify fodlan (i.e. just go what edelgard's been doing this whole time).
it's just like... here, nobody trusts claude at all in this game just for simply existing. you don't even have to bring him up, because someone else will do it for you and shit talk him to remind you he's the biggest piece of shit the game can offer! meanwhile, we've got marianne who is concerned about edelgard (implication is her well being no less!) because the empire's army ain't doing so hot. poor indading aggressor! sure hope she's doing okay! fuck our leader though, he's the biggest steaming pile of bullshit garbage to ever exist (marianne didn't say that, but that's what the narrative is going for: poor edelgard, it's so sad that the invader is having it rough right now. anyway fuck claude he's literally as evil as tws).
i love ag but i'd say this is one of if not the worst hiccup in the writing. when it comes to faerghus itself and its characters, it's mostly fine and even great, but when it starts going into other territories/characters it ends up taking a nosedive in quality.
siiigh
#DCB Three Hopes Run#it's actually super ironic how ppl were lauding this after the trailers as#''it's gonna be the golden route game!'' like to begin with there was zero actual evidence of that#so idk why ppl just jumped to that conclusion based on snippets of in game events#but also like??? this game tore that apart like it was ripping up sensitive documents to be thrown out#literally straight up in every route went ''not a single territory trusts the other and they all secretly hate each other''#which. again. totally fucking stupid. but also hilarious that they went so far out of the golden route zone#and yet it's the game everyone was SO SURE would be the golden route#(even after they'd said they'd never make a golden route lmao)#but yeah the writing is just trash every single time they involve like anything outside of in-territory fighting#like the empire turmoil was fine. the writing wasn't really bad with the whole ludwig versus edelgard thing#and the stuff that was like leicester against almyra was fine. nader was even written well for that!#but once it gets into mingling territories however they're mingling be it fighting or allies#it gets so muddy and stupid and it's like what was even the point of doing that in EVERY route#hell by logic caspar would've been a recruitable character bc he'd see the bullshit going on in the empire and be like#wait this is fucked up nah im outta here i ain't fighting for this shit#but he just... stays??? bc he wants to fight for... edelgard??? who he is CLEARLY AWARE is not in charge anymore???#like if you were fighting for edelgard you would've fought against the ppl using her so... tws#even if you argue he didn't directly know it was thales and not ludwig at the helm caspar as he's supposed to be would never have#condoned what the empire was doing and would've left. if he thought it was ludwig in charge and hated what was going on he would've left#he's an idiot if he still thinks he's actually fighting /for/ edelgard at that point. his father even basically told him to get out of ther#but evidently once territories mingle in any way the writing just SKYDIVES out the window from the top floor of a skyscraper
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laststandx3 · 1 year
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Thomas-I've-been-redeemed-through-pain-Hartnell vs Cornelius-we've-literally-been-tortured-Hickey vs Magnus-It-hurts-Manson
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nostalgia-tblr · 11 months
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but i don't actually want to unlearn the lesson from watching dr who that aliens with seemingly magical powers who tell you that they're gods are almost certainly the baddies
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imwritesometimes · 1 year
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when other people in their 30s say they feel lost in their life/don't know what their purpose is/feel nervous abt life: ur gonna be fine babe I ❤️ you and you are fine this world is a hell hole and we are all doing our best you are fine you are valid ❤️
when I try to apply the same things to myself:
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#things are going good! they're great! and I am fine!#I think the worst part of all this is not actually having the ability to control like allllll this shit#like the shit happening in my life very much is also just kinda... happening to everyone.#wages are too low. impossibly low. hustle culture has rotted ppl's brains. healthcare is unattainable for real in this country.#but also like on my own personal end like this is so stupid but#not beingn able to actually write anything is kinda killing me#writing used to be what I'd turn to when I was so overwhelmed with it all#to have fun and decompress and not think abt that shit and how it feels like I'm living through the collapse of an empire#but now like. lmao besties. I opened my laptop last night for the first time in over a week#and besties. friends. countrymen. it did not go well.#I could not make myself focus on that shit for ANYTHING#I have lost 1000% my ability to write. and it fuckin KILLS me. it's KILLING ME. I am being KILLED.#like I sat there and could peck out a couple sentences and then my brain would be like#ok but no do something else now this doesn't sound good this isn't flowing right booo watch reruns#and I KNOW that the answer to this is oh focus anyway baby steps turn off the tv!#but the thing is I cannot write without the tv I can't it's NOT happening for a bevy of reasons#but also no matter how much I tell my brain like ok no focus now#it doesn't happen#do you know how much this is killing me#normally I can force myself to do shit. I forced myself to quit SMOKING.#I hate this shit it is making me severely unwell and insane and unstable and mad and depressed#and obv unhinged look at these tags#erin explains it all
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xian · 1 year
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been away from kpop social media for so long i forget how much i despise most of it
#in particular: the shortest memories + wanting to be the mean girl with hot takes soooo bad + hating anything new#+ complete absence of critical thinking skills + pretending to actually understand queer culture + being 'holier than thou'#did you know that every single time a new company announces a new group there will always be the flood of 'rip their old groups'#'pay attention to your existing groups!!!'#without fail since 2014 I have seen this firsthand#do y'all not realize that these are entertainment companies not parents foregoing birth control right#ofc they're gonna make new fucking groups#that's how business works?#and please give me empirical proof that they're 'mistreating' their older artists esp in the context where they're all just investments#and the nct takes omg#y'all hate cunty music sooooo much#everyone loves to hate sm so much like it's some sort of dysfunctional negligent parent#girl it's a company#one of the largest entertainment powers. actually has a good system of conceptual artistry. actual innovation#like i'm sorry one single modulation in a song will light your ass on fire#ppl are so concerned about songs being one single mood rather than an interesting journey#maybe that's my adhd talking but like normal song structures are so fuckin boring#e.g. compare exo's sweet lies vs like monsta x's nobody else#very similar vibes#but you know what makes sweet lies better#that fucking song structure. a good team of rnb producers. intricate vocals with good musicality#no hate to hyungwon ofc but nobody else is mostly vibes but sweet lies is INTERESTING.#also with riize lmaoooo#siren was so good? the rhythms and textures hello does anyone even care anyone#can't y'all let us have fun#did you see how much sauce they had#y'all realize musical records are more than just 'i need to be able to listen to this with earbuds while on a walk'#dancers djs and clubbers will beat your ass#y'all want riize to fail soooo bad
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pocketbelt · 9 months
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they announced one of the main writers for FFXIV: Dawntrail is the one who wrote the Shadowbringers trial series, "Sorrow of Werlyt", and the amount of people going "ew no that's the one that redeems Gaius" drives me kind of insane
That storyline takes Gaius and says "Behold this idiot, watch and be stunned as everything he ever said to anyone turned out to be fucking obviously wrong. Watch as the fascist imperialist philosophy he ingrained into his beloved children makes them run to their deaths, even as he pleads them not to, and they tell him to fuck himself and do it anyway. Marvel as he watches them die by your hand, you, who destroyed Gaius himself at the peak of his life, and he can do nothing to stop it", and that's a redemption arc to people
The only surviving kid only makes it because her brother acts to protect her, she doesn't make it because of any act of Gaius'
The entire story is literally "In case you somehow missed it in ARR and most of Stormblood, everything Gaius believed in was horseshit and there's no such thing as a 'noble general in the evil empire'". All his meritocracy bullshit vanished the second he was gone, no-one but his own children believed it or held onto it, and the empire put someone directly opposed to that belief into his old seat when he vanished. No-one cared, no-one else "believed", the Empire was never about that, it was only propped up in his own singular legion by him being there and the second he was gone the legion dumped it and moved on and only Gaius was too naive and stupid to see it.
I mean for fuck sake, the Empire digs up the chemical gas weapon he explicitly had sealed away and destroyed all record of after he's gone and if it wasn't for a particularly dedicated and enterprising catboy and his comedy crew of hardcore engineers, it would have caused the eighth apocalypse
Even the follow-up in patch 6.4, of the family portrait, isn't some "aw he good now" thing. The family portrait you help organise for him has to have four of its six members be projected onto the scene via a machine's reconstruction of them as normal people because they're dead, they threw their lives away because the ideology Gaius taught them meant they could only think to die fighting and nothing else. That's his loving family portrait: four ghosts stood at his back as his last living child smiles through her pain.
"well the people of Werlyt didn't kill him for conquering them" they let him clean up the mess he made (which meant watching his children be killed) and as "thanks" they're letting him stay there to live out the last third of his life or so attempting to atone by fixing the damage he did.
He's 56 at the time of ARR; the Empire he gave 3-4 decades of his life to is gone, it's a smouldering ruin, all but one of the people he loved is dead, his surviving daughter is scarred by the path he led her down, and what few friends he had are also dead. He learned that his beliefs were all horseshit and pretty much everyone around him except for himself knew it, he must live knowing that those beliefs got his children killed, all that he achieved that he once considered "good" was for nothing, he learned that the cool old emperor he idolised who had no magic but built an empire by pulling up his bootstraps and who told him that magic and gods were bad was actually an ancient incredibly magical sorceror attempting to resurrect his own god.
That's not a redemption arc, he's the most owned man still alive in XIV
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homunculus-argument · 7 months
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Random character dynamic: A ruler of a massive, mighty empire, and his pet wizard who foretells the future for him. The emperor has absolute, unwavering trust in the wizard's abilities, and never makes a desicion before consulting the wizard first. The emperor's wizard is of no noble birth nor formally educated, and the way they'll casually break courtly etiquette and speak like a peasant instead of a scholar is used to highlight their power - this is a true wizard, with powers natural born, not someone raised and trained to act like one.
Everyone knows the story of how the emperor encountered his wizard. The emperor's party was on a hunting trip in a distant region, and while going out to pursue some unusual game, they encountered a shepherd who warned them to not go this way, a storm will rise and kill the whole party. The emperor and his party ignored this warning and went after the beast they were hunting. A horrible storm came down on them and killed the whole party, save for the emperor.
As the sole survivor of this calamity that appeared out of nowhere, that nobody could have seen coming, the emperor suddenly remembered the shepherd, and realised that hold on, that strange hermit had foreseen this. Had we heeded their warning and not pursued the game, there would have been no storm. So he goes back to the village, finds the shepherd and goes holy shit are you a fucking wizard. And since only a true wizard would deny being a wizard, the emperor takes them with him.
Most of the things the emperor consults the wizard for are matters of common sense, that the wizard learns to weave into flattery - saying that the emperor's utterly idiotic idea would be a masterful move in any other time and place, but there is wisdom in knowing when to bide his time. Other members of the court and clergy start slipping the wizard requests of things that they should herd the emperor into doing, or not doing.
When the wizard admits to the other advisors that they don't actually have any kind of power of divination, they're told that the court already knows. This is how it has always been. The line of the emperors knows that the rulers who heed the warnings of their royal wizards tend to prosper, and the ones who ignore their sages or neglect to have one at all will fail.
This has been the case ever since the one emperor whose wizard had warned him to not let his wife drink so much while pregnant, or his heir's reign would be fated to be disastrous. The emperor ignored the warning and 30 years later, the aforementioned heir struggled to rule before being assasinated by his cousin, who took over the throne and whose line has ruled ever since, adamantly drilling it into every new generation to not ignore their wizards.
One might not be able to convince an emperor about things like "local peasants know how to predict the weather patterns of where they live" or "fetal alcohol syndrome is bad for your child", but they sure can believe in fate, and those with the power of divination.
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hypertextdog · 5 months
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YOU -- mm i want a fat man on me gaystyle but with clothes on
FURRY INCLINATION [Medium: Success] -- Any *animalline traits* to him, two-legs?
SENSATION -- That would do nicely, texturally speaking...
YOU -- not for now, but i'll keep that in mind.
POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- Yes. YES. It's the perfect emotion. Everyone wants -- even if not that. So generalize, blogsman. Ambiguate. With this, you can finally build your *viral empire.*
BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- With your crowd: three faves, and a flirtatious re-blog from some fur-fag. Eight if the bitcoinette or the not-lycanthrope touches it...
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Try again. We're *this* close to another "you have to let 'denny's parking lot at 3am' go."
YOU -- mm i want big men on me gaystyle #gay #mlm #lgbt #asexual
SENSATION [Medium: Success] -- But it's not about "big" -- "big" alone is nothing. Non descript. You crave *plasticity* -- you want to feel him pushing through, between your fingers...
FURRY INCLINATION -- Oh, yes. Sounds *sonft,* two-legs.
SENSATION -- *Really* sonft. If we must say it that way. And so *heavy* on our supine body, too. I almost wonder if we could...
New task: Administer the *auto-hand-job.*
SENSATION -- Yeah.
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- NEVER MIND THEM. Never mind any of that. You're almost there. Keep going, blogsman. *Earn* the U.R.L.
BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- Thirteen faves, four reblogs. None flirtatious -- none you think.
YOU -- what's missing?
BROAD APPEAL -- What do you think?
YOU [Impossible: Success] -- the *sapphic* factor.
BROAD APPEAL -- Exactly right. I *told* you I'm named this way for a reason...
HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Do it for Erin. And Michaela. I wonder if they're still...
BROAD INTUITION [Medium: Success] -- They're not.
YOU -- mm i want big men or women on me #lgbt #ambiguously queer
HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Ah-ah-ah.
BROAD APPEAL -- And about that word "big" ... you know what has to happen.
YOU -- but that's the core of it to me, kind of.
POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- And to the fur-fag sector.
BROAD APPEAL -- A sector is nothing. We want the *website* in our hands. Even the proponents of Astarion, and the proprietors of "best girls"...
YOU -- Yuck.
BROAD APPEAL -- I know. But they're the only way.
VANITY [Easy: Failure] -- God, we'll be on *Ellen.*
BROAD APPEAL -- Enough of that. She's out.
YOU [Impossible: Success] -- mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- STOP THERE. YOU'VE FOUND IT, BLOGSMAN. QUICKLY -- BEFORE WE BOTH FORGET -- TYPE IT UP AND POST.
BROAD APPEAL -- The known numbers don't go high enough. You've found a ticket out of here -- out of *Massachusetts.*
SHIVERS -- IN 2027, A METEOR THE SIZE OF A KLEAN KANTEEN WILL LAND IN THE CENTER OF ROXBURY AND LEVEL BOSTON WITH ITS ZETTA-JOULES OF IMPACT ENERGY. TOO SMALL AND TOO QUICK FOR EVEN M.I.T.'S OBSERVATORY-BOYS TO DETECT.
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- More important things than that are happening -- and sooner, too. Type it up, blogsman. This is the easy part...
YOU -- You type: "mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual."
SENSATION [Hard: Success] -- Stop. Go back. It's dishonest.
BROAD APPEAL -- This was never about you -- you were only ever the basis on which *this* could be constructed. If that...
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Post it, blogsman. Make the world relate to you.
YOU -- You hit: "post."
YOU -- The progress bar reaches -- reaches -- completes. A green light indicates success.
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- YES. YES... Oh, I suppose we should have waited for *optimum posting hours.* It doesn't matter now. It's done -- and the onslaught faves will begin rolling in catastrophically in three... two...
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- In three... two...
Thought gained: Any day now...
POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Don't worry, blogsman. Just keep checking your phone -- the *wi-fi* here is *bunk,* anyway.
VANITY -- And once it does -- Ellen.
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aenramsden · 6 months
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The following is not my idea; it was the original brainchild of a friend of mine named Omicron, with help from various others including EarthScorpion, TenfoldShields, @havocfett and ShintheNinja:
So, you know what I want to do one day? Run (or play in) a D&D campaign in which the Big Bad Super Dragon that is fuckoff ancient and unfathomably powerful and whose actions have shaped history and bent the course of nations and had repercussions on the whole culture and society in the region where it's set; the Bonus Special Boss for some endgame optional quest after you defeat the direct BBEG and win the campaign...
... is a white dragon.
To explain this for people not deep into 5e monster lore; D&D dragons are sapient beings, and known for their instincts and tendencies, and whenever you meet an big evil dragon that's really old it's usually this ancient creature of terrible intellect Smaug-ing it up all over the place.
Except white dragons are fucking stupid. Like, they're still capable of speech and thought! They're just… feral, hungry morons. And you almost never see them portrayed as ancient wyrms for that reason; they lack majesty. Critical Role did it, yes, but even then, Vorugal is explicitly the most bestial member of the Chroma Conclave, and the others are the more intelligent planners and long-term threats. An ancient white as a nation-defining endboss, though; not a thug for a smarter master but as the strongest and biggest threat around is just not the sort of thing you tend to see.
Adventurers: "Oh wise Therunax the Munificent, gold dragon of Law and Good, what can you tell us adventurers of the evil dragons which rule this land?" Therunax the Munificent, 500-year old Gold Dragon: "Good adventurers, know this: this land is torn apart by the evil of Tiamat's spawn. The eastern marches are the dwelling of Furinar the Plague-Bringer, black dragoness whose hoard is a thousand sicknesses contained in the body of her tributes. The southern volcanic mountains are the roosting of Angrar the Wrathful, the fiery red dragon, who brings magmatic fury on all who do not worship him. And the northern peaks are home to Face-Biter Mike, the oldest and most powerful of all, of whom I dread to speak." Adventurers: "F-Face-Biter Mike???" Therunax: "Oh yes, verily indeed; two thousand years has Mike lived, and his eyes have seen the rise and fall of five empires, and a hundred and score champions have sought to slay him; and each and every one he bit their fucking face off."
Like... I want to see a campaign where Face-Biter Mike is genuinely the most powerful dragon in the region, if not the entire world. Where sometimes he descends on a city to grab himself some meatsicles and causes a localised ice age by the beat of his vast wings and the frigid wastes of his mighty breath and by the chill his mere presence brings to everything for miles around him, and everyone just has to deal with that for the next decade. An entire era of civilization comes to an end, an empire falls, tens of thousands starve in the winter, all because Mike wanted a snack. Where his hoard is an unfathomably vast mass of jewels and artefacts and precious stones frozen in an unmelting glacier, except he is a nouveau riche idiot with fuckall appraising skill, so half of his hoard is coloured glass or worthless knicknacks, and he doesn't give a shit.
"Your Draconic Majesty, this crown is… It's pyrite." "Yeah, well, it's brighter than this dusty old thing made out of real gold, it's my new best treasure. Throw the other one away." "…throw the Burnished Tiara of Bahamut, forged in the First Age of Man, your majesty???" "See? I can't even remember its fucking name." "But my lord-" "DO YOU WANT TO BE A MEATSICLE" "…I will fetch a trash bag, your majesty."
But at the same time, he's not stupid, he's just simple, and in some ways that makes him more dangerous than the usual kinds of scheming Big Bad you see in these things, while simultaneously justifying why Orcus remains on his throne (because he's lazy). Face-Biter Mike doesn't make convoluted plans or run labyrinthine schemes; he just has a talent for violence and a pragmatic, straightforward approach to turning any kind of problem he struggles with into a problem that can be resolved with violence. Face-Biter Mike has one talent and it's horrifying physical power, so his approach to any complicated problem is "how do I turn this into a situation where I can fly down and bite this dude's face off?" with absolutely no regard for the collateral damage or consequences of doing so, because those are also things he can turn into face-bitable problems.
"My lord, the dread necromancer Nikodemion is using his undead dragons to attempt a conquest of the eastern kingdom; his agents are everywhere, his plans are centuries in the making, what can we do against such a mastermind?" "I'm gonna fly over the capital and eat the eastern king." "M-my lord???" "The kingdom will collapse without leadership, Nikodemion will win his war, he'll take the capital and crown himself king." "And that helps us… how?" "Once he does I'll fly over to the capital and eat him." "…" "This is why you advisors all suck. You're all about convoluted plans when the only thing I need to win is know where my enemy is so I can fly down there and eat him. Stop overthinking things."
And, like, yeah, it's a simplistic plan, but when you're several hundred tons of nigh invincible magical death, you don't need brilliant strategy; the smartest way to win a war is, in this case, the simplest. He's not even all that clever at figuring out the consequences of face-biting, he's just memorised the common consequences of doing so.
(If you want to go all in on Mike being the major mover and shaker in the region; Nikodemion only even has a pet zombie dragon because Mike killed the last dragon to show up and contest his turf but wasn't going to eat a whole dragon by himself. Nikodemion got to stick around and amass that much power because Mike ate the Hero of the Realm while he was adventuring because he figured the Hero would come and try to slay him at some point. Nikodemion got started because Mike ate half the leadership of the Academy of High Magic who typically keep evil wizards and necromancers in check. And then eventually this product of Mike's casual, careless actions becomes a big enough problem to bother Mike personally, at which point Mike eats him too.)
He doesn't even really fail upwards, either! He is regularly reduced to nothing but the glacier he stores his hoard in, but he's Face-Biter Mike so nobody wants to commit to actually ending him forever lest they get their faces bitten the fuck off. And his hoard's in a huge-ass magical glacier so nobody can get to it without running into the Invading Russia problem; it's hard to wage war when everything is frozen over and you're both starving and freezing to death. Once he's been beaten back to his central lair and has lost all his holdings… I mean, he's still a problem, but he's a far away problem. So he loses his assets and spends a decade in a cave brooding it up while no one dares risk trying to actually kill him, and then a generation or two later he flies down to a kobold colony and gets himself some minions, or a dragon-worshipping mage comes to offer his service against a pittance from his hoard, or a particularly stupid cult starts thinking they can get in good with him and leech off his power, and then he's (hah) snowballing again.
He's also got a very… well, the kind of weird Charisma that Grineer bosses do. Like Sargas Ruk, who's a malformed idiot, but oddly charismatic. As he's a dragon, that makes him a natural sorcerer and thus Charisma is all he needs. He's pretty relaxed when he isn't in a face-biting mood, and he's kind of infectiously optimistic, because his life has taught him that he will succeed as long as he perseveres. So he just believes it.
And sometimes that's really refreshing to work for, as an evil minion of darkness! It's like, you're coming to your Evil Dragon Lord with terrible news; you've worked for evil overlords before, you know how it goes. You fall to your knees weeping and tell him that you've failed to seize the incredibly powerful magical artifact, you think your life is forfeit. And he's just like "Eh, it's okay, these things are all over the place. Better luck next time. You remember the guy who took it, right?" and you go "Y-yes, oh great lord!" and he's like "Sweet tell me his name later and I'll grab it" and then eats a frozen adventurer he kept around as a snack.
His followers tend to quickly realise that if they fail him, bringing some temple's silver or a sack of brightly coloured beads or a couple of dead cows means he's super forgiving because at least he's got something out of the day. "Oh boy, cows? It's been forever since I had those, ever since the Orc Steppe Nomads took over it's all about goats and onions. Today is a good day." He's a master of delegation by dragon standards, in that he just tells you "Just go get it done, I don't care how" rather than micromanaging you and constantly appearing as an image in smoke or taking over your campfire.
The key part of Face-Biter Mike as a threat to players (because he exists in the context of a D&D campaign) works well in that you can rely on several known quantities:
He will not pull sneaky shit that you don't see coming
He will not make convoluted plans that you must work to unravel
He will consistently attempt to come down and wreck you personally if he finds the opportunity and you are a threat to him
You cannot fight him head-on (at least not until the last leg of the campaign, and ideally as an optional boss rather than mandatory)
So as long as you are good at staying under the radar, thwarting his minions (whom he gives broad orders to with almost zero oversight) and not putting yourself in face-biting range, you can deal with him. If you succeed, it won't be the first time Mike has lost his assets and had to go brood in his glacier for a decade or two before rebuilding. It happens; he can deal with it. And that's a win for you within the context of a single campaign, so take the win.
And if you're not going to use him as an enemy, he works pretty well as a quest-giver, too! The costs for failure are obvious and straightforward, and "do whatever, just get me mine" means that players have a lot of freedom in accomplishing their goals. As far as evil overlords go he is actually one of the least dangerous to work for; his pride is relatively subdued by draconic standards, his goals are simple and typically achievable, and he is easily pleased.
(There's also a good chance he is the forefather of any draconic sorcerer in your party, because Face Biter Mike is a deadbeat dad.)
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maplesyrupsainz · 8 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙ like a feather 🪶 | CL16 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none just fluff as per
summary: in which you're his celebrity crush and he eventually becomes yours too
a/n: me doing research to write this fic 🤓 (watching the feather mv)
request!!!: Hi, how are you? sooo i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is dating a singer and he's playing the guy who Milo was (in Sabrina Carpenter's Feather music video) and this breaks the internet and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush like Taylor and Travis's relationship. Sabrina Carpenter as a face claim if this okay and thank you.
fc: sabrina carpenter
my masterlist
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, dualipa, and 1,023,821 others
yourusername virtual postcards 💋
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gracieabrams wow wow wow
yourusername blushingg
user1 omg mother
user2 ilysm
user3 she is so insane
yourbff wow i love u
yourusername i love u more
user4 im in love
dualipa beautiful as always 💋
liked by yourusername
user5 anyone else peep charles leclerc in the likes?? anyone? just me
user6 is y/n his next victim
user7 i would never allow it
interview ->
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twitter ->
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messages ->
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/
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 991,284 others
user12 urm yn??
user13 what does this mean
user14 Y/N???
user15 IS THIS A CHARLES LECLERC REFERENCE
yourbff ur gonna send ppl crazy with this
yourusername hehehehe
interview ->
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liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc, and 1,827,023 others
yourusername the feather music video is urs now !!! <333 tysm for all the love on this track & to everyone who helped out with the making of the mv, u might notice a certain someone starring!!!! thank u to our mr ferrari , charles leclerc🙏🪶❤️
view all 31,294 comments
charles_leclerc thanks so much for having me, y/n! it was so much fun
yourusername tysm for being soo cooperative it was the most fun ever!!!! sorry if it was too crazy
charles_leclerc never too crazy
user20 omg 🥲🥲🥲
user21 OH MY GOD
user22 omg they are so hot
user23 THE CROSS OVER
user24 this mv is my new roman empire
user25 they srsly need to date
yourbff wow congrats gorgeous girl !!
liked by yourusername
twitter ->
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charles_leclerc posted a story
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liked by yourbff, carlossainz55, and 398,183 others
user33 CHARLES????!!!!!! AND Y/N?
user34 hard launch or friends
maxverstappen1 wow wait a minute
pierregasly hello?
user35 they're dating i know it
user36 IS SHE UR GF CHARLES
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 809,841 others
charles_leclerc ✈️
view all 27,283 comments
user37 omg...
user38 ok. im speechless
user39 this looks a lot like a hard launch
alex_albon go off
liked by yourusername
gracieabrams love love loveee
charles_leclerc ❤️
yourbff omg
liked by charles_leclerc
user40 HARD LAUNCH??!
user41 omg we've come so far
user42 "she doesnt know who i am" 😭😭😭
francisca.cgomes omg please introduce me
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername
interview ->
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,087,918 others
yourusername well, sure and well, my cat loves him
view all 33,293 comments
user50 NOT THE INTERVIEW QUOTEEEE
maxverstappen1 this has been amazing to watch, so thank you y/n
charles_leclerc i hate you
yourusername hahahah
yourbff i just knew this would happen
pierregasly you're not the only one
user51 everything about this is amazing
user52 most iconic crossover ever
user53 the 2024 season in the ferrari garage is going to go OFF with y/n there
liked by charles_leclerc
user54 fast times? no, fast cars
user55 charles piano feature on a y/n track when
yourusername 👀
user56 OMG
charles_leclerc i feel so lucky
yourusername you're my celebrity crush 🫶
user57 omg
user58 i screamed
THE END ❤️
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Text
I keep rewatching that epilogue scene and, the way Hunter and Omega talk about her joining the Rebellion... You can tell this is not the first time they're having this conversation. And I just can't help but wonder what the previous one(s) must have looked like.
Because something tells me it wasn't peaceful.
I just can't imagine Hunter having any other reaction than an immediate, definitive "absolutely not" the first time he hears about Omega wanting to join the Rebellion. Just like I can't imagine Omega being okay with that reaction.
Were they arguing about it? Were they butting heads and not backing down from their respective points? Because they would. Absolutely, they would.
Did their brothers have conversations with both of them separately? Did Wrecker tell Omega to give Hunter a break because he's old and worried? Did Crosshair convince Hunter that he can't keep a grown woman grounded just because he's scared about her? Did Echo tell him that if this is Omega's calling, he has to let her do her thing?
She tried to sneak off. As if she didn't want to go through this again. As if she thought leaving without a goodbye would be easier on everyone and this way no one can stop her. After all, she made up her mind. She's going. But when she turns the light on and spots Hunter sitting there, she's not even surprised. She nods to herself like of course. Of course he's here.
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This literally sounds like they've been over this before. But this time the conversation is surely more peaceful. They both have the other's perspective in their minds now.
This is my choice and I know it scares you but I need you to understand.
I know I won't change your mind but I don't want you to go, I want you to be safe.
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This must have been said before as well. Maybe in anger. Maybe in pleading. Or desperation. I wouldn't be surprised if Omega got very frustrated with Hunter for treating her like she's still a kid. Nor would I be shocked if Hunter had trouble articulating his point of view in all his worry and panic. But here, it's a confession. It's very vulnerable. It's the truth Hunter doesn't want to hear and gives a reason why.
Omega is a grown woman now. Skilled, capable, brave. Hunter doesn't doubt that. But to him, she's always going to be his little girl no matter how old she is and I am still speechless at the fact that we actually see him not only struggling with it but also admitting to it.
Back on Pabu, after they escaped Tantiss, Hunter told her: "We've all fought enough battles for one lifetime." And now, years later, Omega echoes this back to him. "You've all fought enough." Almost like she's reading Hunter's mind and knows that if he can't stop her, he's going to want to join her.
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The way he wants to reach after her here when she gets up. Like he wants to say wait, no, don't go yet!
But this is her fight, just like she says. She's never been able to sit still, we know that, we've seen that. Just like Echo back in season 2, she can't stand the thought of staying down and doing nothing when there are people out there fighting for freedom. People she can help. She's a skilled pilot now (I can bet she'll become most famous in the Rebellion for her flawless Tech-Turn), she has absorbed everything her brothers have taught her over the years like a sponge and now she wants to use that. After years of living away from the fight, she's finally ready to get back out there and make a difference in the galaxy. Fight for peace because that is her calling.
She's ready, but Hunter is not.
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You can tell it's literally tearing him apart to watch her go. That's his baby, the whole reason he's living the life he has now. He gave his blood, sweat and tears so she could grow up safe and happy and away from the Empire's clutches. And now she's going back right into them, willingly.
But she's all grown up. And he has no choice but to let her go do her thing. So he holds her close and I don't doubt sends out a prayer that she comes back to him safe and in one piece. He closes his eyes and commits the feeling to memory because who knows when will be the next time he gets to do this?
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And it might be destroying him inside but he's so damn proud. And he knows she's got this. She doesn't need her old man to watch her back anymore.
And yet still this old man, with gray in his hair and beard, this old man whose posture is hunched and who is moving slowly and having difficulty standing up because of his accelerated age, is telling his very grown up and very capable daughter that if she needs him, he's going to pick up his blaster, don the armor and join her in the fight.
Because that's what fathers do.
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galactic-rhea · 2 months
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If I ever write a "Anakin doesn't fall to the dark side and Padmé doesn't die" you bet is going to be anything but a fix it AU, because the only thing fixed is that there's not Vader, but I'm still going to put these characters through some awful damn stuff.
Like, literal persecution, literal spending one night in a moon and the next day running for the lives. Stuff like Padmé having to leave a wounded Anakin behind as she runs with the twins. And then it's days before they reunite again.
Like Padmé didn't die, good. Anakin is still Anakin and he still has an incredible godawful amount of C-PTSD and unhealthy coping mechanisms and he was constantly in battle 3 days ago, he might react badly by punching someone until his hands are bloody just because someone used a whistle that sounded a bit like a battle droid. He doesn't sleep, he literally stands guard with his lightsaber in hand unable to sleep while the babies and Padmé get some sleep on the floor of some abbandonned shack in the middle of nowhere in non-described planet number 4th of the week.
Stuff like Anakin being torn with the "who will you save" (again) between staying with his family VS learning that Obi-Wan was captured (is even true, is that information true, how are you so sure).
Stuff like Padmé having to watch how the Empire records in live Holo-TV how her family is captured and being taken prisoners to try and rat them out, because they're getting on Palpatine's nerves.
Anakin losing his mind because he knows he was this close to, you know, killing everyone. And fearing he might as well still do it if the pressure skyrockets again because now isn't only Padmé, is her, and the twins.
Stuff like Anakin still somehow getting terribly injured and burned because it was written for him, apparently.
Stuff like yay, they're on the rebellion now, yay it's...it's still hell, there's not peace. Stuff like "Hey, Anakin, Padmé, have you thought that maybe is safer if the twins grow up somewhere else away from all of this, and you know, some stability?"
That kind of stuff.
I have so many ideas and only 700 words of it written somewhere on my phone 😩
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stealingpotatoes · 4 months
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Hey! I absolutely love the cute merrical bbs!! Do you have any headcannons for them?
yes omg so many!!! here're some
the kids are like 1-2 years apart and Cece was born around RotJ so ya know that might've been Merrical's way of celebrating the fall of the empire LOL
the entirety of Koboh would literally do anything for these children. anything.
Greez was initially insistent the kids would have to call him Uncle Greez, not Grandpa (he didn't want to sound old) -- that is until they were born and any cares of being old immediately flew out the window THOSE CAN BE HIS GRANDBABIES
Cece is more like her mum (guarded and quiet at first), Lua is more like her dad (gives everyone her full government name upon meeting them)
BD has been banned from babysitting
sometimes merrical have to just take a Moment bc after everything they've been through they just. have kids!! there's peace!! they're not just surviving, they're living!! there's a future!!
they're both trained as nightsister-jedi, which is another way of saying theyre incredibly annoying to keep under control for anyone that isnt their parents
Lua has a fixation w getting to use Cal's lightsaber (which gives me a great reason to post the one unposted merricalkid art i have) but Cal won't let her bc despite being a former child soldier & child scrapper, he has learnt some child safety since <3
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