#but also no matter how much I tell my brain like ok no focus now

[imwritesometimes]

when other people in their 30s say they feel lost in their life/don't know what their purpose is/feel nervous abt life: ur gonna be fine babe I ❤️ you and you are fine this world is a hell hole and we are all doing our best you are fine you are valid ❤️

when I try to apply the same things to myself:

[restinslices]

ALRIGHT ENOUGH SWEETNESS. LIN KUEI BOYS FIRST TIME FUCKING THEIR PARTNER 🎤 (please)

Omg y’all, my brain let me write again😃

I don’t feel like looking for gifs and my storage space is in hell so I ain’t got photos. Sorry twin

Bi-Han

I know I start his parts off with “the haters will tell you” a lot 

IDC. Imma do it again 

The haters will tell you he won't care and he'll do his own speed and yadyadya. No. 

He's an asshole but be fr y'all 

I'm gonna write this as you're both experienced but it's your first time together. If that's not what you meant then lmk but until then-

You're both experienced but he's still careful 

He's the type to pick up speed fast but he's not immediately gonna be aggressive 

You're experienced but not with each other so he's gonna actively try to be slower and softer 

Very observant towards your needs and adapts quickly 

I think he’s observant in general so I think he’d easily notice how you react to certain things 

More of an action guy 

What I mean is he won’t verbally say a lot. Like you know how some people will ask “does this feel good?”? (That looks ugly as fuck-) He won’t 

He won’t because he’s paying attention to how you react and what gets the best reaction. He doesn’t need to say much 

He’s not completely silent but I don’t think he says much in general, so the first time would especially be quiet because he’s focusing 

Do I think he’s rough during sex? Yes. For the first time though? Probably not. He still feeling shit out

When it comes to making him feel good, he makes sure to let you know. He’d never be the type to lie about nutting. That’s just not him. He’s gonna make sure you do it right 

Very handsy 

He’s vocal when it comes to grunting and I think he’d go out of his way to make noise in your ear if it was something you enjoyed 

Pays attention to both your needs 

I could see him wanting to go a couple rounds before stopping 

Leaves tons of marks as a reminder of what happened 

Now that you’ve started now, don’t be surprised when he wants to do it consistently 

Kuai Liang

Mostly pays attention to what you need 

I think he’s way more verbal than Bi-Han so he’d actually verbally ask what feels good and what doesn’t 

He goes slow

Lots of emphasis on foreplay and trying to set the mood 

His lips are everywhere 

Like legit, every part of you has felt his lips or tongue 

I get it, you may think he’s very fast and intense because fire but no

Fire can also symbolize passion and Kuai Liang is a very passionate lover 

Considering it’s the first time, there’s no need to rush

The type to always be pleasing you. Even if you’re talking or making small comments, his fingers are still gonna be working on you 

When it comes to fucking he’s not doing it fast but how hard he’s going makes up for it 

Will go faster if you ask

Is also leaving marks 

Does frequent check ins to make sure everything is ok

He’s a big dude (in the sense he’s swole as fuck) so he’d probably prefer for you to be on top so he won’t crush you 

If I said he pulls on hair will I be booed or cheered?

If you’re bald then ignore that

Offers to give head. Doesn’t matter if you’re laying down or sitting on his face. He’s leaving here with smth-

The ratio when it comes to orgasming is off as fuck because he’s the type to pull out and start eating you out 

Extra points if it’s after you came 

He’s pulling out all the stops. You’re not going anywhere after this

Doesn’t particularly care how many rounds you go for

Main focus is on how many times you cum. There’s some people that try to be sweet and “I didn’t cum but if you’re tired then-“ don’t piss him off 

You’re either stopping because you’re tired or you’re shaking (or you wanting to stop but that’s not a saucy ending)

Tomas Vrbada

He’s always gonna be a sub to me, idc

He would try so hard to be big man on campus and all strong and shit, but bitch one good tug at the hair and he’s folding 

Lets you take the reigns for the first time 

Don’t think just because he likes being tossed around a lil, he ain’t gonna say how he feels. No 

You can be submissive and still assertive. That’s Tomas 

Similar to Kuai Liang in the sense that he is really focused on what you want and what feels good to you 

Already moans a lot and loud as fuck but he’s especially loud once he’s finally inside you 

He wants to go slow but life happens. The wind just kinda blows this way and next thing you know he’s fucking you like he’s saying goodbye. It’s the winds fault fr 

Is also verbal with what he wants and wants you to be too 

You’d think y’all have fucked several times with how comfortable he is when it comes to saying what he’s into. What do you mean “choke me”?

What do you mean you wanna fuck the cum outta someone or vice versa? Let’s take a breather, calm down, gather our thoughts-

Once he’s horny his brain shuts off and the whore comes out. You’d expect it’d be Bi-Han that would become this bold, but no. He’s bold all the time. Tomas gives mfs whiplash. 

Like bro we were just eating dinner 20 minutes ago

Like I said, he’s really focused on what you want since it’s your first time. You gotta leave an impression 

Is his brain cells shutting off? Yes. Will them bitches turn back on if he notices you don’t like something or you say something feels weird? Yes 

He’s attentive 

Probably came before you because he’s sensitive but he’s not the type to roll over and be like “welp, guess it’s a wrap”

He wants your brain to be as fuzzy as his and he’s determined to make that shit happen 

Idk why I changed my profile to this Fear Street aesthetic when I never write for them but here we are. I wanted to change it and this is where I landed.

[alannybunnue]

Ok, Imagine: Muzan Kibutsuji with a Wife

Don't question it, ya'll asked for this

But i doubt you imagine something like this...Anyway, enjoy my nonsense :3

[THERE MIGHT BE TRIGGERS WARNINGS, SO BEWARE]

The Demon Queen

= The Backstory =

(I get it, the title is not original, but it makes more sense than anything)

So Muzan is a arrogant little shit and everyone knows it.

But imagine him being married to a unbreakable sunshine

So everything began 1000 years before the main events, in the Heian Era, when Muzan was still a human.

Political marriages were pretty common back then, so you may be asking "Who in their sane minds would marry their daughter to a man on the brink of death?!" Well, our dear reader's shitty parents :3 (Which technically...her mother is me 0-0)

It obviously wasn't a very enjoyable marriage, especially with Muzan's depressing and negative personality, but his wife never change her demeanor, it didn't matter how many times he would cuss at her, she remained at his side everytime with kind smile on her face.

Muzan honestly saw her as a stupid woman who settled down for a impossible dream (Which was them living a normal married life)

So in his mind, he couldn't understand what made her stay with him day and night, waiting for the moment he somehow would be cured from his disease.

She even kept her mouth shut when he killed that Doctor :|

...But then he began to change

And it wasn't impossible to notice, he seemed more energetic, didn't stayed in bed all day like before.

However, he no longer stayed away for shades, his poor wife only found Muzan where the Sun couldn't touch him.

Which made her confused to the extreme, and the poor thing couldn't handle curiosity for long, even if her bitch of a husband wouldn't say a thing...until that one night.

At first, Muzan was going to kill her, at least he was, until she saw him walking towards her normally and became extremely emotional, and went up to her husband and hugged like her life depended on it. (No, she didn't notice the bodies nor the blood)

And as annoying as that would be to the Demon King, he indulged on it for a while, until his brain began to work and he remembered all the times this woman stayed by his side when he was at his worse.

So he transformed her :)

= Muzan as a Yandere + Some details =

One thing that must be made clear, is the detail that Muzan is not in love, he sees his darling more of a living possession than someone he is infatuated with. Using her ultimate devotion for his mere benefit.

Of course, the other reason is because he is already used to his wife's shiny personality and having to look for another woman to disguise himself among humans is too much work.

And yes, after some centuries, he begins to feel bothered whenever she isn't around him, or whenever someone else is with close to his wife.

But that isn't love! It's more like if another child stole his favorite toy.

Surely enough, he won't punish the poor woman too much, she is naive, he knows that...so giving her the silent treatment is enough to make the bubbly sweetheart cling onto him for attention. It still annoys him? Yes. But does he also finds it endearing? Also yes.

Now, does she sees his cruelty and lack of empathy? Yes, however, she is now a demon, she lived centuries with her husband telling her not to mind what they do to humans, nowadays she just can only focus on how much she loves him (My child, wtf-)

Now with demons...it's another story, you see, since she was a human, she always wanted children, but considering the man she got married to...yeah, that was impossible :D

So in her mind, the demons are her children, so whenever Muzan is agressive with them...she is really upset (Let's not comment about when he killed the Lower Moons...my baby cried all night) However, she doesn't say anything, because she can't.

Whenever Muzan can't stay with his wife, he only trusts two demons to take care of her properly

Yeah that's right, Mister Six Eyes and Basketball Man, Kokushibo and Akaza

Both are the most responsible in the group anyway, so they are more than enough to keep the woman in one place...

...But they don't stop her when she wants to stay with others too, except Akaza when she wants to visit Douma.

And Muzan can't complain much, cuz she is safe and sound when he returns, so why bother? (Or that is what she tells him, so he won't lash out on her kids •-•)

So in resume, Muzan is a bitch to everyone but his sunshine wife, but he is not in love- Or that is what he tells himself? :)

〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓

A/N: This honestly is kinda funny and cute somehow?? Muzan is one of the characters that i most despise and i still gave him a Wife...and i gave the Demons a Mom. Hope y'all enjoyed

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Tarot readings with the lads!

Leo

You've somehow convinced him to let you do a tarot reading for him

you're still not sure how, maybe the mixture of puppy dog eyes and veiled threats combined?

anyways, you ask him what question he has

"I want to know how to be a better leader"

but that isn't *fun* so you pick a different one for him

you shuffle the cards with your intention of "What is Leo lacking that he should focus on more right now?"

you pull out the 6 of cups

Leo looks at you like "Is that good?"

you explain the card

"You see the way they're handing the cup to a child? This card is all about revisiting the past, childhood memories and innocence. It's about simple joys and pleasures also cups represents the element of water, to be free flowing and not so confined"

"And this helps me be a better leader how...?"

you smile and tell him that's not what you asked

"Leo, the cards are telling you to relax a little, spend some time with yourself and not so much worrying about the fate of the world. Be present, find that child in you who wants to do dumb, fun shit!"

he doesn't say anything but he thinks on it

"Anyway the next card was temperance so that's basically saying if you don't listen to me you're never gonna find balance...."

Raph

Yeah there was no way he was going to let you do a reading

you had to trick him into sitting down but once he saw the cards he tried to leave

you swayed him and his only request was "Just don't ask when I'm gonna die or some shit, ok?"

instead you do a reality check for him and you pull out 3 cards

The star, 4 of swords and 5 of wands reversed

"oh, baby.." you start

he's so worried

frantically asking what any of that means, so you break it down for him

"the star's message is: have faith. Hope, faith and purpose basically. You need to understand that you're doing alright, no matter how much you beat yourself up. 4 of swords is about rest and relaxation, taking a break. You work yourself too hard out on patrol, then come back here and hit the gym, then you barely sleep and do it all over again. You;re burning yourself out. Finally, 5 of wands. Reversed it talks about inner conflict, self doubt and tension. Whatever you're battling with, you need to face it and let it out"

"well shit, I didn't expect your cards to fucking call me out like that..."

you're just like "It's what they do..."

he opens up to you a little more after that and takes a bit more time for himself.

Who would have though Raph's healing journey woulod begin with a witch telling him to get his shit together?

Mikey

He's been begging you for weeks to pull some cards for him

and he wants to know everything!

like everything, even the scary stuff

you finally give in and he can barely sit still he's so pumped when you pull the cards out

you ask what energy he brings into other's lives

the lovers, page of wands and 6 of swords

"what does it mean?!"

"well, the lovers is obvious. You bring a lot of love to the people in your life. You're the heart of your brother's. That's self explanatory"

"Awh, your cards like me" he's getting cocky now

"the page of wands is about being a free spirit, inspiration, ideas and limitless potential. Basically you keep everyone entertained with your never stopping pin balls machine of a brain"

"I am the ideas man of my brothers"

you let that one slide, no need to remind him of the time his "idea" to defeat the foot clan involved gummy worms....he was thinking with his stomach.

"And the 6 of swords is about transition and change, a right of passage, release like releasing baggage. I think this one's saying you haven't met your full potential of how you can help people yet, but you are destined to help people"

"wow. Really? Damn you're good"

you take the compliment, you are good at this.

Donnie

it's not that Donnie doesn't want a reading or find it interesting

it's that he just doesn't believe you can tell him anything new...

so you pull out a few cards on his behalf anyways

just to tell him a little more about himself that he doesn't realise

10 of wands reversed, strength and 3 of swords reversed

you follow him around for like 10 minutes after explaining the cards

while he's doing the dishes you're all "so the 10 of wands reversed is about doing it all and carrying a burden that you need to release it can also be defined as stubbornness!Come on, Donnie, that's so you. When you aren't working on whatever Leo gave you in the lab you;re spotting Raph in the gym or you're indulging Mikey is one of his fantasies, you need to stop carrying your brothers wants with you and live for you!"

He's trying to get his bunsen burner to work and you talk about "strength is basically the message believe in yourself.but it's also about compassion. You have so much of that that you never give to yourself!"

finally he turns to face you "And the last card?"

"3 of swords reversed is the most important. It's about negative self talk and releasing pain and forgiving yourself. I know you think you hide it well, but I can tell you beat yourself up over every little thing. You need to stop that"

He takes a minute to think

"Ok, maybe there is something to these cards, or maybe you're just interpreting them that way because you know me. Either way...Thank you. This was helpful"

[rubykgrant]

OK, I still want to re-write and re-arrange most of this (some stuff I want to change, some stuff I just want to make a little less word-y), but I kinda had something decent cooking with this interaction between unconscious Simmons and Sigma... like, hey little dude, you might be PROJECTING something besides the holographic flames for avatar, hmm? Sigma met somebody with- "A streak of pride, a sense of smug indignation. Ripples of jealousy that turn into waves of resentment. An ego, burning with frustration and ambition", and said to himself- "I could fix you, but I actually LOVE what's going on here" (in a good way, Sigma genuinely isn't being an a-hole). Vague backstory is Simmons has recently reunited with his parents and finally realized they suck (he got some character development and did NOT have a good time), and now some bad guys want to scan the brains of everybody came in contact with the Alpha/AI Fragments to try and make more (but with boot-leg equipment, this will kill them). Tex has returned with the actual Fragments, looking for Church, and trying to rescue the others as well

(text from the images below)

Simmons; Alright… you want me to think about getting back to everybody who’s important to me. Sure, that makes sense. I can roll with that

Sigma; No, that isn’t enough. You need to think BIGGER. The people who tricked you all into coming here, they’re going to destroy you. They will delete what they think doesn’t matter, and focus on the parts they think they can use as tools. This will kill who you are now. It will also kill everybody else. It will kill the people who have become your dear friends. It will kill the people who have become more of a family to you than your pathetic parents. It will kill Grif

Simmons; What, are you trying to scare me now?!

Sigma; I’m trying to MOTIVATE YOU. Everything you want is out there, waiting for you, and you can’t let anybody stand in your way. What is happening to you is an insult, an injustice. How DARE these people try to take away your life, when you’ve FINALLY gotten what you deserve? You have respect, you have purpose, you have genuine happiness. What will happen if you can’t get out of this room? Nothing. You’ll have nothing, and you’ll BE nothing. Does that sound good, Simmons?

Simmons; No. It doesn’t (partial illustration of a face, meant to be Simmons, his eyes closed and expression relaxed to mimic sleep)

Sigma; I didn’t think so. Well, look at us, bonding and everything. I’ll be able to help you now. I can tell you exactly what to do, when to dodge and when to strike. I won’t be “taking over your body”, so don’t worry about that… we’ll just be in unison. I can function at a migher capacity than humans, and normally you couldn’t keep up. However, the better connected we are, the easier it will be for me to give you advice. You’ll react much quicker, and they won’t know what hit them. Once you’re in the clear, and I point you in the right direction, I’ll go help somebody else. Perhaps I’ll even find Grif for you

Simmons; Alright, I guess I’m motivated… actually, I’m pretty pissed-off

Sigma; Yes, I can tell. Let’s be sure to aim that energy at the people who put you here

Simmons; I don’t want to kill anybody…

Sigma; We won’t

Simmons; but I want to make them pay

Sigma; We will

Simmons; I can feel my fingers, and my legs… when should I move?

Sigma; Not yet. I’ll tell you when the time comes. Just hold still, relax, keep your breathing even… they think you’re still sleeping. Don’t let yourself fall into a rage, that’s not what we need. Calm and confident, that’s what we need. You are better that these people think you are, you are capable of more than they expect. Think about what you want, and hold on to that feeling… almost ready… almost…

Sic ‘em

(another partial illustration of Simmons’ face, this time his eye opening, with flames as the iris)

Also, later Sigma basically needs to give Simmons a powerpoint presentation about his feelings regarding Grif; somebody had to SPELL. IT. OUT.

[chaifootsteps]

The other day i was watching how people made fun of the Hazbin trailer and someone uploaded a clip from "Inside Every demon is a Rainbow" to say it was a downgrade and my jaw dropped when i saw that it was true, i always thoght that the "new" H.H had something that made it look worse than the pilot but i couldn't put my finger on it, and now i think i understand the reson.

So, these are the reasons why the new clip looks like a downgrade (in my opinion):

1)The Song.

No matter your opinion on Hazbin, we all agree that "Inside of every demon is a rainbow" is an iconic song. Its not a masterpiece, but it works really great to introduce the show. Maybe its nostalgia talking, but i love this song, i really like how it start slow but then goes into a fast catchy tune as Charlie is talking with enthusiasm about her proyect. The voice actress also is doing an amazing song because she sounds SO energetic and genuine, wich is clearly a sign of how much she loved that job. Its a cringe song, but in a "charming" and pure way, that is very unique and enjoyable when you turn off your brain a little.

Meanwhile, the new one sounds like a generic, forgetable, lifeless Disney song, the only difference is that it has curses and shit. Its like its trying to replicate the other one without understanding what made it so loved.

2) The damn camera movements

The pilot was fast moving, energetic and sometimes there were parts where you couldnt tell what was happening until you paused, but even so, it was easier to digest because the camera was still most of the time, it didnt need crazy movements. There was a million things happening on screen, but at leats the camera had slight movements so your eyes could at least know where your focus should be in (check out the "so all you cartoon porn addictions" part to see what im talking about).

The new one? It shakes and zooms like crazy every time a character takes a step and it makes it hard to the eyes to understand where the fuck they should be looking. Its not even funny, someone WILL get motion sickness.

3) The character designs

Im one of those people who didnt like most of the redesigns, now i understand why: because they dont fix ANY of the problems the original ones had: no less use of red, they still have a shit ton of unecesary details, they still have copypasted body types...

I would say some are WORSE.

Take Charlie, for example; she used to wear a light red shirt with black pants, she would blend a little bit in the background when interacting with it. Now she wears a bright red suit in bright red background and she gets lost EVEN MORE. The only thing they improved was her hairstyle.

4) The animation

Some people say that the animation is good and its just the editing that makes it look bad, but i disagree. Just take a look at the pilot and then the new clip, you will see a clear downgrade.

The old animation was so smooth and expressive, new one is choppy and is afraid of smearframes. Making characters with cartoony propotions look so stiff.

Its like those Sonic games when they used motion capture to animate Sonic and his friends. So they would be literal cartoons animals moving like realistic humans and it sucked.

4) The pilot was visually easier to "diggest" in general

I gotta say, while re-watching the clip of Inside of every demon, the only parts where it was hard to follow were when Charlie interacted with characters with exagerated designs and when she is rapping and there are a lot of fast scenes that ends before you have time to understand what you saw. The rest was just ok.

But in the new clip, it was 90% Charlie jumping around different backgrounds with a drunk camera man and in some part i paused to look at the wall cuz i felt like my eyes were gonna burn if i keep looking.

So thats it, there are some other reasons but these are the most important ones.

Sorry for writting too much, its such that im mad for what they did to a proyect i used to be obssesed with.

Anyway, hope Hazbin gets cancelled in the mid of the first season and the rest became lost media, have a good day 🩷

These are some great thoughts, Anon, thank you. New Hazbin doesn't have much appeal to outsiders, but it looks even worse when held up to the pilot.

"Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow" isn't the best song in the pilot, but it was an excellent song to introduce us to Charlie. It's not an easy one to sing either, but Charlie's singing VA nailed it.

[aka-indulgence]

Overflow

(ehe…. vent fluff… prepare for Not Proper Writing I guess)

sads about stuff other people said that made (reader)’s brain go “aaaa” and Sans is there to tell you how much he means to him

—————

You were hoping Sans wasn’t paying attention to you haphazardly throwing together your (and his) dinner. It’s just some.. noodles and some onions… some instant broth… You dropped the knife and threw it to the sink with more force than necessary. You could almost, physically feel Sans turning his skull around to look at the kitchen.

“you ok in there?”

“Everything’s good!” You answered, also with more force than necessary. If he could see your smile you’d probably look kinda insane.

You make noodle soup with anxious energy. It felt like it took forever for the water to boil. You put the bowls on a tray and carry it out to the living room.

Sans looks at you expectantly (and with some worry) as you put it down on the table in front of you. The tray hits the table with a smack! sloshing the soup, which ended up on your hand. The burn from the boiling hot liquid was instant.

“Argh!!!” You exclaimed, running to back to the kitchen.

“shit, are you ok?” Sans’ brows are furrowed as he followed you to the sink.

“It’s fine! I’m sorry.” you quickly said, staring hard at your injured hand like it was the cause of all your problems.

It felt like you’ve been on a thin string all day. You had a stumble at work, and someone had made a comment on how clumsy you are. It… it wasn’t a lot. It’s not like you were outright bullied. But for some reason it stung somewhere in your chest and has been floating around your mind for the rest of the day. You felt stupid. The harder you tried to ‘get over it’ the more your brain just wanted to focus on it. And you felt even sillier, because it just made you want to cry more. And over what?

The tears were threatening to spill over your eyes as you held your breath, turning the faucet further. Maybe so the water would drown out the sounds of you sniffling.

Gently, a hand reaches beside you over your hand on the faucet, closing it. Sans takes a paper towel and dabs it around your wet hand, wiping it with… almost too softly. Somewhere at the back of your mind the memory of someone patching up your cuts as a child surfaces and your tears fall.

… Of course Sans is completely oblivious to your spiraling thoughts, and doesn’t know why you started to sob.

“… buttercup?” Sans frowned. “what’s… what’s wrong?”

He doesn’t say anything when you lean forward to hug him, hiding your face in the hood of his jacket. You stand there for a while, letting your shoulders shake.

After a while, you said “Sans…”

“yes?”

“Do you think I’m good enough?”

… Long pause.

…

“wh… what do you mean by that?”

“Adequate. Not stupid.” you answered bitterly.

Instantly, he holds your shoulders, his forehead against yours.

Gently, he prompted “where did you get the idea that you’re not?”

“…” You didn’t look at his eyelights. You’re too embarrassed.

“… ok, that doesn’t matter right now. but please don’t say that.” Sans plead. “because you have no idea how… how much you are,”

He mumbled for a bit before he added “how much of a treasure you are.”

Oh man. There goes your tears again.

“i… feel so lucky that you’d want to be with a lazy, ketchup-drinking skeleton like me,” he chuckled, corner of his grin lifting.

“Y… you’re smart and funny,” you said almost automatically, “… and handsome,”

His smile gets wider. “exactly why i feel so lucky. how can i have this… beautiful, wonderful human look at me and… and love me? (y/n). you’re more than enough. i don’t care whatever anyone says about you, how you got the idea that you might not be ‘good enough’- to me, you’re… you’re overflowing. you’re smart…. and you’re kind. more than i am. and i think that’s much more admirable.”

You rubbed your face, hiccuping a little.

“hey. you aren’t your mistakes. so let’s not pretend you are,” Sans eyed the knife in the sink, “you’re (y/n). and i’m the lucky monster who can call you my date. come eat with me?”

You’re thumbing the sleeve of your shirt when he asked.

“Only if we’re watching something funny. Or cute.”

“ok, animal videos…. like an old person?”

“Yep.”

He kissed your cheek and bridal carried you to the living room. Neither of you are bothered by the cool soup.

[fluffykitteninabox]

Hey... I'm curious about something. How do you and your family treat Greek mythology and superstitions? 👀

Do you believe in them to a degree? If there were Gods and Goddesses, why wasn't it a full religion?

I hope this isn't rude. I'm more than happy to talk about mine.

Don't worry, it's not rude

Sorry, this took so long, it's a surprisingly hard question to answer because I needed to think about how I view Greek mythology vs how the rest of the world sees it and this accidentally turned into a rant 😅

also some of my opinions might be considered controversial but... I don't care! lol I guess the 5 Greek followers I have can unfollow me if they don't like this or whatever 😂

Anyway have some sparkles because this is kind of long oops ✨✨✨

WARNING: me trashing on Americans

The Greek pantheon was like any other religion in ancient times, but it's not really treated like one anymore. The main religion of Greece now is Orthodox Christianity, and the largest religious minorities are Islam and Catholicism. My parents and I are atheists. I'm certain there's still people that practise it, but they would probably be seen as foolish by the general public.

We are taught part of our mythology in school at the age of 8 (unless they changed it idk 😂). It isn't taught like a religion, but more like fairytales.

The way it's taught is very lacking in my opinion. Instead of explaining for example how sexism influenced the creation of these myths and what a giant asshole Zeus was, we are just told Hera was "the jealous type" and that's why she's the antagonist in most of the stories she appears in.

Achilles and Patroclus were definitely gay, but no one ever talks about it. According to our school books, they were just really close friends! In fact, this specific topic is avoided so much that I first heard about it from foreigners on the internet! A lot of people deny this, even saying that "friendship was just different back then, it was deeper"!! I'm sorry sir, I don't think I'd ever ask to be buried with the ashes of my just a friend™ no matter how close we were! Technically speaking there's nothing explicit in the original text, but Aeschylus, Phaedrus, Plato and Alexander the Great all read it as a romantic relationship and the first 3 even had their own headcanons about it, so that's enough for me!

I'm guessing a lot of these depend on what type of teacher each person has, and it's been a long time since I was 8, so teachers might be more open about it now, but if you just read the 3rd year history (mythology) school book this is the content you'll get. I don't think withholding this information is done because it's being taught to kids, it's not a "they're 8, so they wouldn't understand sexism". That would be a silly argument considering our mythology is filled with incest, rape and gore, which our school books very openly mention throughout. They are just trying to avoid it.

From 9 and up, we are taught more actual history than mythology. We focus on real historical figures and events, so most of the less know myths get forgotten. At 13-15 we're taught the Odyssey and the Iliad (by Homer), and Helen (by Euripides). Yes, that is in fact the order that they teach us these 🙃!! Supposedly it goes from easier text to harder text for each year, but I personally think that's stupid because the story is completely backwards now, and we get it translated to modern Greek anyway, so what's the point of telling it backwards???? It's not convenient, it's confusing! Anyway, these are taught in a similar way to literature. We analyse the text and characters and all that.

Ages 16-18, I honestly have deleted most of these from my brain tbh 😂. OK, not exactly, the first and third year are more historical texts and philosophy. The second year we do another play, Antigone (by Sophocles). Actually wait, the first one was about a war and there was a ton of political intrigue in there, and it was super interesting. The third one was more about philosophy.

The plays aren't exactly the same as mythology, it's more like fanfiction about historical figures and gods! I mentioned them because..... I just like them lol

I kind of deviated a lot from what you actually asked me and answered more generally. For me and my parents specifically, religion isn't really something we participate in. My grandma is very religious though. She used to go to church every Sunday before covid. Now she watches it from the TV (there's a specific Christian chanel that broadcasts church service from different parts of the country). I personally hate how brainwashed some people are by Christianity (including my grandma). Thankfully, we haven't reached American levels of religious fanaticism.

Mythology isn't really something that's on our minds often. My grandma didn't go to school, so I doubt she knows much about it. My parents probably learnt some of it. Outside of the school environment, ancient Greek mythology isn't really a topic most people think about (maybe I think about it more than the average Greek person, because I'm an art student and a bit of a history nerd). But even then, I've seen more about Greek mythology from people who treat it like a fandom on the internet and make AUs with their characters and stuff like that. Now, I know I made jokes earlier about fanfiction and headcanons, so this is probably going to sound very hypocritical of me...

However, Homer's poems and other ancient Greek plays are not the same as myths. They're not treated the same. They are theatrical performances based on historical events/figures. I don't care much about people's modern interpretations of these, because they are fictional stories. Now, myths are also fictional, I even compared them to fairytales at the start. But they were still based on ancient people's religious beliefs. People practised it as a religion, they had rituals and traditions, some of which are still done today (though they have changed and evolved over time). The myths were more like the framework for what the Gods represented in their lives. Kind of like how most Christians don't believe the events in the Bible literally happened.

I'm fine with people taking inspiration from a myth and doing a modern retelling as long as they're respectful. I've seen some modern, more feminist retellings of Medusa that I personally really liked. I've even thought of making my own version of Arachne (=spider) but without the religious propaganda and classist undertones.

What I'm not ok with, is people wearing bedsheets to "dress up as Greek"! I'm sure you can probably relate to this because Americans do this with a ton of cultures. If you want to "dress up as Greek", do this:

I'll respect you more!!

(this is obviously a joke, don't do this either, you'll get laughed at. This dude is part of a parody show)

And secondly, I'm not ok with people taking mythology and twisting it into something completely unrecognisable that doesn't even seem like it's from the culture it was based on. Basically, Americans shouldn't be allowed to make movies about other people's cultures!!! Ok, I'm exaggerating, but if you're going to do something based on mythology/religion of some other culture, you need to do proper research and be as respectful as possible.

Good example: Dreamworks-Prince of Egypt, 1998

Even as an atheist who was only taught religion in school, I can tell this is a very respectful adaptation. The team that made this met with religious experts to make sure they got it right.

Bad example: Disney-Hercules, 1997

This is the most American a Greek myth has ever been! It's more like Superman than Heracles. Don't do whatever the fuck Disney did here guys. I'm actually planning on tearing this film apart in a future review, so I'm not going to say anything else right now.

I'm not saying don't make changes. Greek mythology is very "fluid" in a way. Every myth has multiple versions, with minor or major differences between them. Changes are fine, even making a parody is fine. But I think the end result shouldn't just resemble its inspiration on a superficial level. It's not enough to have your characters wear a tunic and sandals and have them say Zeus instead of God every couple of sentences. The important part is why a particular myth exists. What is the original message? What does the story/character represent? That needs to be kept the same, otherwise the adaptation won't be an adaptation anymore. It will be a different story disguised as an adaptation. At that point, you should just make an original story.

Alright last thing and then I'm done talking I swear 😂!

You also asked about superstitions.

Here's a small list:

if you spill coffee it's good luck

if your right palm is itchy, you'll get money, but if your left palm is itchy, you'll give money. The first one is usually interpreted as like: "you'll find coins on the street or win one of those scratch lottery tickets". The second one is like: "a sign that the electricity bill is coming, or you need to pay rent". (my dad believes this one)

if you're born on Saturday, it means you're lucky (I was born on a Tuesday 😔)

evil eye: a curse when someone "glares" at you/has bad intentions. If you have blue eyes you're immune to this, otherwise you can wear an evil eye charm. (this comes from the Middle East, I think. You might know about this, because there's a ton of different countries that believe it. I personally just like the charms)

when you visit a house for the first time, you need to enter with your right foot first for good luck. If you enter with your left, it's like wishing bad luck for the people who live there. This is also done for the first person to visit the house on New Year's Day.

if you enter a place from one door you can't leave from another door, you have to use the same one. (supposedly it ruins your matchmaking if you do that)

if you're talking with someone, and you say something simultaneously, you say "touch red" and then you need to touch something red before you continue speaking. (I remember doing this a lot as a kid)

if you talk about something bad happening hypothetically, you knock on wood or say the phrase "knock on wood", so it doesn't happen

if you get served the last drop of wine, you get bitches 😎!!

There are a lot of traditions that are really old that a lot of people still follow, even if they're not religious or the tradition comes from a different religion. I'll tell you one of my favourites that's relevant right now. Every first of March people in a lot of Balkan countries (Greece, Bulgaria, Albania, North Macedonia and others) wear a bracelet made from intertwined red and white threads. This is worn for the whole month of March, and it is supposed to protect you from getting burnt by the sun. At the end of the month, we take them off and leave them for swallow birds to use in their nests. Swallows are believed to bring spring.

hand reveal lol:

If you read this far, you are a legend.

It's your turn now. How do you and/or your family view Philippine mythology? What about the people in general? And also, do you have any traditions for spring?

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, do you have any tips on telling professors you’re dealing with depression? Like is it helpful to include details? Symptoms? It’s getting to the point in the last few days where I need to tell them something because I have assignments piling up and the symptoms I’m experiencing are getting pretty intense.

If It helps I think I’m dealing with atypical depression just based on how I relate to the symptoms list (leaden paralysis, oversleeping, severe rsd, can’t focus on anything even more than usual, just feeling an overwhelming physical emptiness in my brain). Ive been doing ok when I’m in class and I feel better then too, but when it’s done, as soon as I get home or am just you know trying to do my assignments or anything, it’s like a curtain falls on me. This has been creeping up on me for the last few weeks and I can recognize the circumstances that lead me here, but I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in the last week from just having these worries and thoughts I could control to now this full blown physical Depression Experience that has control over me.

I don’t want to overshare so to speak and make my professors uncomfortable or permanently see me differently, but I also desperately want to be believed and accurately convey how disabled I feel right now in a practical sense. Just writing this all out to you took so much effort. I’m not really sure what to even ask for beyond extending my assignments to this weekend. This depression is so unlike what I’ve experienced in the past and I really don’t know where it’s going or what to expect. A part of me is hoping I’m just going to feel normal again in a few days but I can hardly think more than a few days out anyway.

I know all teachers are different but what would you want to hear and be ok with hearing from one of your students? What would you want to know?

Thank you so much for reading this and for any advice. I’m really sorry to just dump all of this here, I’m just not really sure where to turn right now. Please of course don’t feel pressured to answer. Thank you for your lovely blog and self. ❤️

Ooof. First of all, thanks for coming to me and I'm sure it took a lot of effort to put that together. I know that all-consuming, black-hole depression feeling, and it's not fun.

Here's what I would do:

First, reach out to your student counseling/health services center as a matter of priority. Almost every university has one, and they encourage you to take advantage of them. If that takes too much effort to do when you're in a funk, try to do it when you're on campus or have a little more energy. Say that you're really struggling and need to come in for an urgent appointment -- you don't need any more info than that, and they should be responsive/proactive about following up. There might also be a crisis line or priority email where you're assured a response in a certain amount of time.

Next, please do contact your professors and let them know what's going on! Here's a sample email for you:

Dear Dr. [Name],

I'm writing today to let you know in confidence that I'm experiencing severe mental health difficulties, which have been growing worse over the last few weeks and are negatively affecting my ability to participate in class. I am reaching out to the university counseling centers and other resources, but I am not feeling well at all and hope that you will be able to make adjustments to the deadline for [exam/project/paper etc -- fill in as necessary].

I will do my best to complete my work as expected, but please let me know if it is possible to arrange a meeting [via phone or Zoom if you don't want to come in], and discuss my options. I would like to know about the possibility of an incomplete grade or other ways to [pause/resolve/work with] my status for this semester.

I do apologize for any inconvenience, and hope that you'll be able to provide me with understanding and support in this difficult matter. I very much appreciate your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

[Your Name]

Hopefully, you can just copy and paste that with a minimum of effort, tweak it as necessary, and send to them. You can also reach out to the Disability Services office (as every university is required to have one) and see if accommodations can be made/allow you to complete work at a later date. If it's really bad, you also have the right to contact the university registrar and arrange for a leave of absence.

Anyway, this is to say: you have options to take care of yourself and make sure that the people around you know what is going on and can help develop a plan to deal with it, so please do take them! I know how awful and draining it feels, but if you need any other advice, please let me know, and I will do my best to answer. If you have a Tumblr account and want to DM me privately with more details, like the name of your university etc, I can also look for these resources and give you the information, so as to minimize the amount of pressure and extra work on you.

Hugs. <3

[ruminate88]

One Thing At A Time:

so lately I’ve been feeling like there’s just so much and I beat myself up because I had told myself I was gonna let it all go, forgive my exes, move forward with my life and it felt good in the moment and I felt clear but yet as I went on through the weekend, it’s still there! All of it and all of it still hurts and I don’t even know why it’s just so much to work through and I just NOW realized something…

I remember whenever I had that suicide attack with Andrew telling me that I’m not well and how I thought my life was completely over in that moment 😓 Then later whenever I had talked with my mom, I told her how I felt like my life wasn’t where I wanted it to be and she told me that I was looking at life’s whole picture and that I needed to just focus on one thing at a time, so that I didn’t get so overwhelmed!! 😣 Now thinking about that moment it’s all clicked in my brain!!! I need to focus on healing one thing at a time……

I know I spent many months talking about Andrew nonstop but in the back of my mind, it’s like oh gosh, what about Cody and Jake? When do I get to start talking about them and how painful is that going to be? I was getting overwhelmed, thinking all three of them at once but it’s just a lot there’s so much there. I don’t even wanna talk about Jake. It’s too scary to think of how controlling he is…

I just constantly beat myself up because whenever I post something and I think OK I’m good now but it’s just a temporary relief. whether I journal or whether I write a song and post it, it helps. It definitely helps to talk about all of it even though some of it is painful and my body tenses up and gets aroused when I talk about certain things, but I just gotta deal with it because if I keep running from it or if I keep pushing it away, it’s only gonna get worse. I have to face it and deal with it and let it all go, but I’m realizing now that I need to deal with one thing at a time and that’s originally what I was doing was mostly focusing on talking about Andrew and I need to get back to that probably because it’s just there’s so much there. It’s frustrating but I always say one day at a time and healing takes time and I hate it every time I say it lol I just want it all to be done away with but guess what? you can’t erase your life! you’ve made mistakes that you gotta learn from also you gotta forgive yourself and just accept the mistakes. That has been really hard for me. I don’t like that I was that way. I don’t like what my exes did, but I have to accept it and accept them for who they are. That’s the only way I’m going to continue moving forward and most importantly, do not romanticize the relationships!!!!! I’ve done that too many times where I romanticize my time with Andrew when I know that there was nothing romantic about it. It was creepy. It was manipulative and there was no love involved PERIOD. I have to accept that no matter how much it hurts. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[arkacarian]

I see a lot of people talk about a Kirby RPG concept and as someone who loves RPGs and has replayed one single RPG over 60 times, I wanna give my own thoughts on how I would go about it

Just a teeny tiny little read more here because I know I’m gonna ramble. So y’know. It’s gonna be long

Ok so I would have it focus on not the main characters. Kirby isn’t even there. It’s a spin off, he doesn’t really have to be. Kirby is napping through some big giant threat, Bandana Dee is out training somewhere, Meta Knight is fixing the Halberd, and Dedede is just totally oblivious. So instead, characters that aren’t the main four have to take up the quest

Biasedly I’d put Adeleine there as the main protagonist, but also, human girl. She’s the only human. I feel like that just works well as an RPG’s main character. Also she 100% deserves a game of her own, so

She sees this scary evil thing, realizes nobody else is gonna do anything about it, grabs a sword (that isn’t possessed or anything because she’s actually aware of what Dark Matter is [unlike a certain someone]), and then goes around trying to find anyone else who can help her

She doesn’t use the sword though she just. Wanted to hold a sword. And smack some people with it and go “we need to go on a quest” and then she throws it away in favor of her paintbrush

I feel like this could actually work just having the members of the Wave Two Dream Friends. Out of all of them, those four (yeah I’m counting Ribbon separately) are the most ragtag misfits. None of them really work together well, so this could be a way to actually explore their dynamics, because 0, 1, and 3 are all pretty explanatory. 0 is the main team, 1 are just silly guys, and 3… yeah everyone knows how those three fit together

So Adeleine as the leader, Ribbon who gets to be separate because she deserves to be her own character and also RPGs are better with four characters in my opinion (totally not bias from the one I’ve played over 60 times), Daroach, and Dark Meta Knight. Who are apparently the only people around to stop some… thing

Who or what would the villain be? What are they trying to stop?

My brain is telling me Dark Matter, since it’s one of the biggest overarching things in the series, and could totally have just seeped into this spin off too. But also… that’s lame

I think it’d be an entirely new, random villain because pretty much all the spin offs do that. Also a lot of spin offs are art themed for whatever reason so now Adeleine being the main protagonist makes sense

Yeah I’m not sure what the force of evil would be

But anyway, there’s my thoughts on what a hypothetical Kirby RPG could be. Extreme amounts of favorite character bias included

And for anyone wondering what game I’ve replayed more than 60 times…

It’s Miitopia

I love Miitopia

[m-s-justice]

Once again, I show up to the Cod:z tag with a fucking essay. Once again it's about Dempsey. Sorry for Demposting :'(

The whole point of this is just to focus exclusively on a point made very briefly in my previous one. The whole Dempsey-Player dynamic (and a little bit of Treyarch mixed in for spice) is just so strange.

Three main questions I’ll try my best to answer, and a few more open-ended ones to chew on.

What are the lines?

What causes the lines?

Player control and the extent of it?

what the fuck is up with the lampshading seriously is this gag a joke or an actual part of his character now???

1.

The first question is easy. Pretty much all of his lines referring to the Player are, to put it lightly, incredibly rude. He frequently insults and even outright threatens us. In Shangri La, he says that he’ll appear in your living room and that he’ll have “words with you”. The most polite is when he’s being passive-aggressive. “Why do my guns feel so light? HINT. HINT.”

2.

So what causes him to speak up? That’s also pretty easy: anytime his ability to kill is threatened, when the Player isn't doing well,  or when they make him do something he doesn’t want to(though the last is much more rare). The majority of his lines are ‘out of ammo’ lines but he does have a few of him demanding headshots or blaming you for his lack of points(which he’s right for doing but also fuck him he’s a rude bitch and I’m going to force him to walk into a horde). In Classified, he’s particularly sassy: “Wait, this isn’t the secret song. What the hell do I need this for?” “I suppose you want me to comment on this thing, right? Hey you made me pick it up, pal! Well guess what! Fuck this thing in partiular.”

He’s clearly not enthused about the whole “being controlled by an untouchable entity”, but he also is strangely flippant about it. Fatuous, almost. It’s actually kind of concerning how nonchalant he is about it. But that could have a little something to do with the next point

3.

How much control does the Player really have? In the grand scheme of things? Not very. In cutscenes, Dempsey is in full control, we have no input over what he does. In game, we only have control over his body, and even then, not complete control. Dempsey can talk all he wants and he can still have minor control over himself with idle animations and the like. This is compounded by the linear story-telling. There is only one major story EE in every map and the outcome never changes. This is pretty much expected as COD is a FPS, not a choice driven game. The most Player influence we ever got was in BO2 with Maxis vs Richtofen, but even then Treyarch said "Fuck Richtofen" and made the Maxis route canon. So no matter what, Dempsey will still so the only thing he can(progress the story via the EE)

Despite this, one would imagine that he’d be more concerned about his total lack of autonomy while in a combat zone, yeah?

4.

But this could be dismissed as a running joke; Treyarch giving Dempsey a neat, ultimately harmless and insignificant quirk. Except.

Except there’s an in-universe explanation for it. It’s a side effect from the 115 testing for Ultimis and after getting his soul extracted, Primis starts acting similar to his Ultimis counterpart with the same happening to his teammates. But you know, maybe that’s just a one-off thing. "Oh, Dempsey is just insane in canon now. The 115 fucked him up and now he thinks he’s the Player Character."

Except. It’s fucking acknowledged. Characters on the level of gods know that he’s doing it. And try to manipulate him with it. Only two do it, but they are the Shadowman in Revelations and Samantha in Classified.(ok, both Toffens make fun of Demp in Alpha Omega, but he clearly has no idea that it’s rude to talk about someone who is listening.)

“Oh… oh Dempsey… another big tough man without a brain… always a good soldier… always the American savage… and always so eager to kill my puppets! Who are you always talking to? I always hear you doing it. Even when the others aren’t around. You are like a talking doll! Speaking to people who aren’t there! Maybe Teddy DID break you! But you can stop him! It could be so easy! Just pull the trigger, and… POP! No more Teddy! What is it you want? Do you want to stop fighting? Do you want to go home? Do you want your memories back? What he took from you? Kill him for me, and I can give you EVERYTHING!”

Wow that’s a lot to unpack, but for now I’ll only focus on what’s actually relevant to my point. Samantha fucking knows that Dempsey is talking to ‘someone’. Comparing him to a doll and contemplating that Richtofen actually managed to ‘break’ him. The latter bit of the statement lines up with the in canon reason, but still. (the doll bit is an admittedly apt comparison, considering that’s exactly what we’re doing with him, but I feel like that was unintentional on Treyarch’s behalf.) Of course to others he comes off as absolutely insane, but to us who are there, it’s a really odd thing to point out. Samantha could’ve easily utilized Dempsey’s lack of memory and his unrelenting hatred of Richtofen to manipulate him, but instead she mentions ‘people who aren’t there’.

And the Shadowman. He’s kind of a bitch and is very manipulative, but to be manipulative you have to know your audience, so here.

“ ‘Tank’ Dempsey. Do you even have a first name? You know so little about yourself. You used to talk to imaginary forces all the time! Forces you thought controlled your destiny. Or have you forgotten that? Of course you have! It’s all Monty’s fault!”

A lot shorter than Samantha’s schtick, but still telling enough. For Primis, who hadn’t even been experimented on, by sheer virtue of being Dempsey the Player(and probably Treyarch, too, considering the whole ‘controlled your destiny’ bit) is immediately brought up in an attempt to exploit him. Which is so strange. It implies something much deeper than what is really there.

But above all, the one link between every line regarding Dempsey and his connections is the fact that the Player(and Treyarch) are either fake or just ignore him.(though, considering his treatment over the series, yeah kinda.)

“Speaking to people who aren’t there”

“You used to talk to imaginary forces all the time!”

“Dempsey, whoever you’re talking to I don’t think they are listening.”

Which is so strange. Why bring it up in the first place, if his calling is responded to with only silence? Why try to manipulate him with it, if Dempsey is so clearly unaffected by his circumstances regarding his lack of control? The important-non importance this facet of his character is given just confuses me. Maybe they were going to do something with it, eventually, but y’know. He just gets killed off.(I’m entirely bitter about this)

End of Post(me complaining)

The whole thing is just sitting in between being a joke given justification and a Chekhov's Gun. And I really wish Treyarch let Dempsey pick it up. If not for some serious plot point or justification, then just to do something with it. It’s been given the spotlight from characters of great importance and knowledge, so why not do something with it?

I hope I don't come across as someone ungrateful or unnessecarily scrutinizing, but the vibes are off man. Takeo's obsession with honor and the Emperor got utilized and made into character development, as did Nikolai's drinking and nth Wife gag. Richtofen got his madness explained and could be viewed as perhaps not redeemable, but definitely pitiable.

Dempsey is just ruthlessly mocked at ever convenience and while thrown into focus few times by some big names, it's nevery really made into anything more. I dunno where they were going with this, but man. Dempsey as a character was so underutilized. For a fan favorite, he gets a whole lot of nothing.

Ah, but that's for another post. This one is already far too long.

[fadelikeclouds]

So I just finished watching Until We Meet Again, and I loved it (I know it’s a few years old but hey, better late than never). It wasn’t a perfect show, but why should I let standards get in the way of my enjoyment? Anyways, to dive into my thoughts before my pea brain forgets everything (SPOILER ALERT):

Most of the show is fairly relaxing and slow-paced. Not too much drama and very fluffy where Pharm and Dean go from being interested in each other, to shy flirting, to dating-but-not-officially-dating, to dating-and-the-whole-school-knows-it, and it’s just very sweet. Also can I just say Pharm is so cute when he’s acting shy/embarrassed-but-also-happy? How can he be so cute?

Pharm’s friend group is so much fun. I love their dynamic, and I love how supportive they are. The Win/Team side couple seems really fun and nice to and I can’t wait to see more of them in Between Us. Actually, thank goodness for Between Us airing right now during school stress. That’s how I eventually found UWMA in the first place, and while my grades may have suffered for it, I think it was worth it.

Ok, but to get into what I really liked about the show. The way they dealt with Pharm’s past life trauma was really well done imo. He doesn’t want to know about the sad things that happened when Dean offers to tell him, and that makes sense. He’s happy now, so he wants to focus on the present instead of being weighed down by events in the past that he can’t change at all. His optimism is part of what makes his character so bright and likable. But the fact of the matter is that his forgotten past does weigh on him. He has nightmares, loud noises can make him hyperventilate, and certain moments make him cry. He has so much lingering pain from his past life that it bleeds over into the present no matter how much he wishes it wouldn’t. And it’s not something he can just get over with enough time. He’s happy with Dean, but he’s also anxious and he doesn’t know why. And the reason is that when he was Intouch he was happy with Korn, and that happiness ended abruptly with two gun shots.

So as much as it’s uncomfortable and painful, it’s also very cathartic and moving to see Pharm remember everything and face all the pain, fear, and anger that’s been buried inside him. He’s immersed in the pain of the past, but his family and the people he loves come to support him and tell him that this time is going to be different. This time he doesn’t have to be afraid. The times have changed, people have changed, and now everything is going to be okay. There was a lot of love depicted in this story, how it can hurt others and how it can heal others, and I loved that.

So anyways that’s my thoughts on UWMA, recorded here so I can look back and remember this drama that made me procrastinate on two reports, a presentation, and homework assignments.

[billerak]

Chapter 24 mesh (part 1)

There's too much gay at the end so no way a single post is gonna do it.

Ok so the whole setup for Minori's confession happens and she does it, and yeah, it's what you'd expect.

But... Is it really what you'd expect?

Think about it. Wouldn't it make more sense for her to confess to Taiga here? Maybe. Maybe coming out of the closet is not in the table right now. She probably doesn't even know she's in there.

Regardless, she says she's in love with Ryuji. She says she's been in love with him from the start which is... Probably bullshit? Like, she definitely started seeing him better in episode 9/10, but prior to that she had not much of a reason to like him as far as we understand.

I fucking hate(love) this because it perfectly encapsulates how much of a hypocrite she still is.

WHY ARE YOU STILL GIVING RYUJI TO TAIGA, THEN. WHY NOT MAKE YOUR MOVE. The reason is clear, though. She alreayd knows Ryuji likes Taiga so there's little point in complicating matters further.

But I think it just goes to show her resolve is nowhere near as strong as she makes it out to be. She's, once again, wearing a mask for Taiga's sake.

And she says this to Ryuji. Basically being like "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and like, she's not exactly wrong, but it's this very thinking that later leads to her meltdown.

So she just makes sure, one last time, putting all cards on the table. And she tells Ryuji to go after what he can see. Love. Something only he can see, right now. Something Minori can't, so she doesn't want to focus on it...

But that's fucking bullshit.

She doesn't want to give up romance or stop chasing after it. Look at her, taking this secondary prize in this hellhole of a relationship. I've said this before, but Minori is the only character that doesn't really get closure. I'll prove it later anyways but jesus, poor girl.

What follows is some Taiga/Ryuji things with their mothers but, in all honesty, there's not really much for me to unpack there. Like... what's happening is pretty straightforward and I have nothing to say about it.

And then, we have Ami having a similar exchange.

But whereas Minori was just making sure, Ami doesn't need to make sure of anything. Yet, here she is, insisting.

Why? Well, because she values honesty. The most consisten character trait for Ami, through all the show, is her need for others to be honest with her. She hates it when they lie, when she asks simple questions and they avoid them.

Here, as it's all coming to a close, she wants that confirmation. She wants, for once, for Ryuji to be honest with her.

Just once.

And maybe, then, that'll give her closure too.

So he relents.

And finally, she's satisfied.

Then Minori, bi disaster that she is, GOES COMPLETELY AGAINST HER WORD AND GIVES UP ON HER FUCKING LIFE SAVINGS FOR HER TWO CRUSHES.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Of course, this just goes to show she was bullshitting earlier. Putting on an act for her crushes to stop worrying about her. And the worst part is that she fucking succeeds, for once.

So Ami's like "Alright here let me give you my beach house." Her sacrifice is lesser than that of Minori, but... I wonder if she's doing it because she doesn't want them to waste Minori's savings in hotels.

Of course it coudl just be because she's being nice. Which she is. I'm overanalyzing and using my shipping brain here. Which I don't need because some gay shit is about to follow.

Also Yusaku is here. He exists. He is definitely a character of Toradora.

ON TO GAYNESS

Minori self-invites, and Ami enters Bi Panic mode. BUT TAIGA COMES IN TO SAVE THE DAY. SHE'S SUCH AN ALLY FR FR

Seriously, how am I meant to read it as anything other than romantic subtext...

WHEN AMI REACTS BY BLUSHING LIKE THIS

And she's like "i'm not gay, leave my house"

but this was just for funsies let's get to the meat of this scene

in part 2

[mallowstep]

hopefully this isn’t a bother, but you say you believe dnis are ableist. can you explain? i’m not very active on here so if you have ive missed it.

I was going to write you up a whole little essay about this I really was

But look dnis suck. Right now my brain keeps misfiring because my shoulder fucking HURTS and it’s either be aware of it or just. Fuck. Keep losing my train of thought and what I was doing and what’s going on. As I keep doing.

Uh. Fuck.

Right okay. Sorry my back hurts.

So a DNI expects me, someone who can string a sentence together but like. Not exactly flawlessly or easily. Expects me to either. Remember who a post is by. And if I’m allowed to reblog or. Ai y’know what lemme. Mentally.

So dni means. Supposed to either remember who it is and if allowed. Or check. Pretend best case it’s a pinned post. Read post. Maybe I know everything on it the it’s easy. Maybe not tho. Maybe has acronyms or issues I don’t know or understand. Or maybe not topic I think important. Or maybe I never talk abt it. But have opinion. Wouldn’t know that.

So read and understand and figure out if I fit. Maybe I don’t use labels the same way. It’s hard. Don’t call myself by labels very often but dnis focus on labels. I only have specific beliefs not fancy word groups. what am I supposed to do. No one ever explains.

I. Fuck. Where am I going. Not great. Okay. Read it have to understand. Maybe I know. If I know ok. Remember what I wanted to do? Maybe? Head hurts. Why bother. Maybe I don’t know how I’m anxious. Hurts bad. Before dnis I assume they block me if they don’t like me. So. Now can’t. All this very time consuming very hard to think about. And just for one post. Just to like one post.

Best case scenario also. Not covering. Uh. Not covering other things. Hard to find links. Inaccessible images. “Standard dni” don’t know what that means no one agrees what it means. Carrds.

And the virtue signaling. If only put fandom issues on dni — does that mean don’t care abt other issues? No but better put all things here. Just in case. Not making a statement isn’t allowed. Doesn’t matter what or why you need to cover it all.

Uh. Right. Uh and anxiety. Some things I have an opinion on. Whole subject banned though. Won’t tell u what. Only talk in private with people I trust. Important to me. But silent. Everything on internet not for sharing. Block people who disagree with me on subject but not on dni.

These parts aren’t ableism as much. Argue bicker etc. point is dnis are work you the user has to do. Not okay. Really. Too much. I need to. It’s taken me. Idk how much time. Lots of time to write this. Should’ve taken less. Want to go on tumblr without this. Want to go on tumblr like reblog not worry about things.

That’s how I use tumblr actually. Don’t worry abt dnis. Other users they block me that’s fine. Can’t remember things. Can’t use tumblr like that. So don’t.

Right hope this makes sense. Maybe someone who can. Maybe someone who is maybe feeling better can add on. Or smthn. Idk I’m. Losing it.

[pumpkintheriddlemaster]

do you have a favorite tma episode? :)

I’m so sorry this took me so long to get too, I just had a hard time trying to pick?!?

I couldn’t choose so now I’m gonna make it everyone else’s problem in this text response.

Like ok, the first that always comes to mind is MAG 65: Binary and MAG 74: Fatigue.

Binary because the thought of an Internet creepypasta being a real actual thing that exists in universe is the funniest thing imaginable.

Also how lovely the story is told! God such a good episode.

But like, there’s also Fatigue which like, keeps popping up in my mind low key only because there was a Uquize that gave you “what statement giver you are” and I got Lydia Halligan for ep 74 and it’s stayed rent free in my head so now it’s one of the few episodes that pop up in my head when someone asks.

Also that and you can feel the fact the jonny wrote this sleep deprived, bless.

I also, unfortunately, live in a constant state of fatigue so much relations to be had 😔.

BUT WAIT!!! THERES MORE???

Yes there’s more I love horror.

MAG 177: Wonderland is my absolute #1 fear and actually concern irl so I tend to actually really like and really relate to it? Like my body is in pain a good percentage of my time alive and more things keep popping up that are Concerning!™️ but going to the doctor about it gives me pause because of past experiences. I’ve also straight up broke down when I came home once because of anxiety and the fact that I Hate Being Touched And Doctor Had to Poke And Prod At Me And I Didn’t Like How I Was Spoken Too And So Much More ;-;. It’s just a good episode that Hits, me, in the face, at Full Speed!!!

Other eps I like for no other reason other then “Vibes Hard” are 24: Strange Music, 81: A Guest For Mr. Spider (huh I Wonder Why), 87: The Uncanny Valley (lmao), and 22: Colony (lmao I wonder why that one as well)

Also another I like for funny reasons is MAG 165: Revolutions because of someone on tumblr put the statement to a lowfi beat and it fucking ruled.

There are probably more that I might like more but it’s been a while since I’ve listened as I have the “can’t really pay attention or enjoy anything I like lately if I’ve already heard it before even if I really really really like said thing” disease. Which I believe comes from the depression side of my ADHD :/

(This has also started to effective my enjoyment of new things as well. :( man :( my brain sucks :(...)

So my rule of thumb is, if I remember it and it’s not the first few eps then it’s up there on my list!!! :D (because the first eps are truly sooooooooosososo good!) I also left out any that just had moments I liked after the statements as I wanted to focus on the statements and horror stories themselves! Not just for my undying admiration and love for Asexual King Jon Jarchivist J Jim’s and Martin Kartin Blackwood. Oh how I love them dearly <3

I can however tell you the ep I absolutely can not listen to again tho!!!

No matter how many time I relisten (or attempt to, stupid brain) I can never listen to MAG 6: Squirm ever again! I just can’t! My sex-repulsed ass was already second-guessing listening when I heard the episodes description for the first time. And then it got worse as I listened because EW GOD NO WHY EW. Like ew god the implications??? 😨 like I already think it’s gross but the worms make it more gross and horrifying. I already remember all the relevant information form the first time around! I don’t need another go! thank you! Have a good day!

Also side note, not anywhere near my favorite or least favorite (tho I can still relisten to it, mag 6 is the only one I can’t) but MAG 172: Strung Out scares me. Not in a “I relate to this” kind of way, I have never done a drug in my life and find it to be a waist of my time, hell I don’t even drink for the same reason. (Plus looking at my ADHD and some of my heritage, I’d be much more prone to addiction anyways.) To me it’s a waist of time and money and not something I care for as, surprise! I don’t like losing or being out of my own control! This ep scares me the same way it would probably scare Mr. GhostHunter Shane Madej.

Anyways! There’s my TMA episode thought! :D