#everything about her makes sense forever actually i get why she’s like that. because she killed herself ten billion times all at once to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

letorip · 2 months

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i heard your name [ii]

“i want you so, i can hardly let you go, please be mine for a time, now and forever”

===+++===

pairing: cairo sweet x reader

summary: after several weeks of trying to run in the opposite direction, you find you can no longer evade the magnetic pull yanking you towards her

warnings: explicit but gender neutral sexual content, being used both physically and emotionally, 'lover boy' is used ironic and is still considered gender neutral, implied teacher-student relationships

word count: 6.4k

A/N: definitely making another already because it’s kind of getting juicy. again inspired by pale fire and hot summer nights.

===+++===

You had always heard that people looked like their pets, but it had never occurred to you that someone could look like their house. Standing in front of Lovell Hill, it was impossible anyone else but Cairo Sweet lived there.

The building stood tall, with white towering ionic columns that reached to hold up the dark clay tile roofing like soft angelic hands lifted to the sky. Everything about the house was big, with a giant, wide cedar porch and a towering balcony that looked out over the small garden in front of its door.

You had figured Cairo was well off from her clothes and general overabundance of education, but this screamed a wealth so extreme it almost wasn’t computing in your brain. Not with your own tawdry house that had only been built two years ago and was about the size of Cairo’s home if you sliced it by a quarter.

You had seen homes like these in movies or on the home improvement channels. Most motels had the home improvement channels on the TV, and you had watched with a sense of awe, sitting on the mouldy carpet late at night with your mom asleep behind you, looking at the muted tours of the homes with a private envy.

Such grandeur was incomprehensible and didn’t exist beyond the screen and TV magic. Or, that’s what you thought until you stood at the end of her garden, with all its greenery and a few lines of flowers, looking up at the front door.

It was quite the dilemma, to knock or not to knock. You could turn around right now, save yourself a whole bunch of sleepless nights and half a brain if you just told her you felt sick and had to cancel. She’d be annoyed, sure, but maybe Cairo being angry was better than Cairo being hungry.

You weren’t all too sure you wouldn’t try to satiate her hunger, and that was a dangerous game to play. Since she had sat down beside you in class, fleeting had been slowly drifting away, and you found yourself clutching onto what little of it you had left, rebuking the witchcraft that seemed to tug you to her.

You were about to do that, walk away, but then the door to the balcony swung open, and out Cairo came, leaning over the railing with a smile, and you felt your own heart clutch to your ribs. She propped her head up on her palm, peering down at you.

“Are you coming in?” She asked, laughing. “You’ve been standing there for ten minutes.”

“I’m just looking. At the landscaping,” you called up to her, and it was mostly true, though Cairo laughed like you were being funny. You felt a blush rising to your cheeks. Fleeting, you idiot.

“It’s my parents’ house. I know it’s a bit much,” said Cairo, standing up straighter.

“A bit?” you said, the sarcasm worming its way into your voice. It was a lot much.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling at you again all bright. “A bit.” You smiled back, holding a hand up to cover your eyes so you could continue to stare at her on the balcony in the sun, like your own Juliet.

“Can I come inside?” You asked, taking a few steps forward into the shadow the roof of her house casted over the ground. Cairo seemed to find a playfulness with the question, and you were left there like a moron, wondering why she was laughing again.

“No, actually,” she said. “I invited you here to make you walk over here and then walk home.”

“Did you."

“I did,” she nodded, having fun. “I’ll be down in a minute when I’m done with something; the front door is unlocked."

"That seems unsafe," you said.

She raised her eyebrows at you. "Why, are you worried for my safety?"

You shrugged, deciding neutrality was the best policy. There wasn't anything wrong with saying you were worried about her as a friend, but you knew she would draw some strange entendre. "I would worry about random people wandering in, to be honest."

Cairo shook her head. "Not here in Tennessee. Now go inside. The longer you stall me the longer it takes me to finish what I'm doing." With that, she disappeared back inside, leaving you on her porch. You swallowed the lump in your throat and went inside.

Cairo Sweet's house was much like her soul, in grandeur and in wealth. Even in the foyer, which was where you found yourself, the walls seemed to reach up much like the pillars, raised towards the covered sky. A grand staircase led up to the second floor, and with the soft closing of the door behind you, Cairo called out from up the stairs.

"You can go into the kitchen, I left some wine out on the counter."

You blinked. "Wine?" You said back, making sure you were hearing correctly. Cairo's laugh floated down from the second floor.

"Yes, 'wine.'" You had never had anything like wine before, though the way she threw it out so casually made you think she was no stranger to the concept.

The kitchen was the room right off to the left of the foyer, with a large bay window and some checkered ceramic tiling on the floor. In the centre sat an old gas range stove, a similar shade of green as the walls. The brass handle curved down to the drawer on the bottom, and it looked like a droll little mouth underneath the knobs.

On the white marbled countertop that boxed the stove in was a set of two glasses and a bottle of reddish wine that was three quarters full. The entire room was immaculately clean, with the perfectly angled chairs sitting around the nook table in the corner and the utterly spotless surfaces, both floor and table.

It looked just like those staged houses on the home improvement channels, and you wandered over to peer into the glass hutch, which was piled up with books in stacks around it. The top cabinet held an array of glassware, some of them gathering dust. They were pretty, and you leaned in to the ceramic ones with antique designs etched into the sides. You wanted to own dishes like those, someday.

"The plates are pretty, aren't they? It’s a real shame about the led.” You spun around to find Cairo behind you. Your heart immediately started doing a backflip in your chest. Cairo was no longer in the soft shirt and shorts she had been wearing on her balcony— no. Instead, she was now in a silky cream-coloured dress, one that clung to the curves of her body and hung elegantly from her shoulders in a way that made the tips of your ears warm.

She walked right up to you as if there was no difference, staring at the plate you had been looking at with what couldn't possibly be a genuine curiosity. Up close it was clear she had put on some makeup, her lips glossy and pink and her eyes dark. She had to know she was playing you like a fiddle.

You watched her in laser focus as she nodded at the plate. "My parents bought that one from a village in the Swiss Alps."

"What?" you mumbled, clever as always.

"The plate," she said, like it was obvious. "Most of the plates in there are from Switzerland or China."

"Oh...cool."

Cairo brushed past it, gesturing back to the bottle that sat on the counter. "Would you like some?" she asked, clasping her hands behind her back.

"But what would your parents say?" you asked. Mostly you were looking for any excuse not to, but you were also filled with curiosity. Cairo Sweet hadn't just fallen out of a coconut tree— she was the product of whatever her parents were like and you desired to put two and two together, and for that to make it make sense.

"They're not here right now," she replied, walking right over to the bottle and pulling the cork straight out. You swallowed but followed her over, and Cairo grabbed a glass to pour it into.

"So you live here?" It was a genuine question, and part of you was still struggling to understand that this was just someone's everyday lifestyle. Cairo nodded.

"That's what Winnie asked me too, when she first saw it. People say my house is haunted."

"They do?"

"Yeah," she said. "Lovell Hill. It's famous, or at least around here it is."

"Well... is it true?"

Cairo shook her head. "Sorry to disappoint. Only thing that lives here is me."

"And your parents?"

Her mouth thinned into a line at the question, but she spoke quickly. "Yes, them too." Then Cairo held up a glass. "Would you like some?"

"Uh, no thanks. We should probably start on the assignment...," you trailed off. Cairo was staring you down with a certain glint in her eye. “What?”

"You've never drank before," she said. It wasn't a question, and you could feel heat going back to your face. To any other person, you'd have no problem saying no, but to her you felt your breath catch in your throat.

"Uh, I have, I just don't want any right now," you lied. And Cairo knew you were lying, judging from the smile she watched you with. But she only shrugged.

"You can have some of mine later, then," she said, straightening up and walking out of the kitchen. You followed her like a proper guest, like she was a tour guide helping you through the jungle. You warily tailed her out of there and up the stairs.

On the landing there were even more books, in large, towering stacks near the railing, ended on each side by potted plants and small floor decorations. You stopped, taking a thick paperback from off the top of one stack and turning it over to read the back. “Have you really read all of these?” You asked. Cairo turned.

“Not all of them, no. Most of them belong to my parents, so they’re cheesy spy thrillers and soapy romances.”

You nodded. “My mom reads those ones too.”

“Anyways, what do you read?” Cairo asked, walking over to you and taking the book from your hands to look at it herself. You shrugged.

“For a while there, anything I could get my hands on.”

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, just that my mother didn't take me to bookstores a lot," you said, having gotten comfortable with lying. In reality, you had mostly read travel books and magazines from gas stations, since those were really the only places you and your mother stopped often. You didn't start actually reading book-books until you were about ten, and your mom bought you a kindle for your birthday.

But giving Cairo the truth would mean telling her you were on the road a lot, which would mean telling her about why it was you moved so often, which would mean telling her you would probably be leaving soon, so you lied. It was typically a better idea to vanish without warning one day, off to another state like you had been one giant bad dream.

"Mm," she hummed it agreement, putting the book back down and leading the way into a door that stood at the far end of the hall. "My parents didn't either, when they realised I bought like ten or twelve at a time," she said, tugging you into her bedroom.

It was exactly like you could have imagined it, with a darker shade of green and ebony wainscoting that matched the grand bed in the middle of the room with fluffy, lush bedding and a near mountain of pillows in the centre.

"Well then," Cairo drawled. "Shall we?"

The smirk she was staring at you with sent a shiver down your spine. You gave her a cautious nod and pulled your backpack off of your back.

===+++===

You had your paper almost completely done within an hour of laying down on Cairo's bed to write it, though in the corner where Cairo sat typing hers, she seemed incredibly frustrated. You had only been observing her a little, watching her type what could've maybe been a few words and then immediately holding down the delete key until they were all gone.

You understood to a certain extent— windows were so unbelievably symbolic it was possible to go in millions of directions when writing your story. But you were almost done, and inspiration had hit you from the moment you knew what your symbol was meant to be.

You put the final finishing sentences in where they were meant to go, and put down your pen, sitting up to crack your fingers and stretch your back. Cairo looked up at you, eyes glaring.

"You're finished?" Her tone was sharp, and you looked around the room in surprise.

"Yeah?" You replied. Cairo narrowed her eyes at you.

"How," she demanded sitting up in her chair and slamming her laptop shut.

You shrugged. "I don't know, I kind of rushed it anyhow."

"Let me read it, (Y/n)," Cairo said, holding her hand out. You leaned forwards and tossed the paper to her, rolling over onto your back to stare up at the ceiling while she read it. She had one of those popcorn roofs, with bumps all over it, and you found yourself tracing a little path in your mind.

"This is..." she said after a few minutes. You turned your head to look at her sideways. "This is really good," said Cairo, but in a way that made your eyebrows furrow.

"Why'd you say it like that?" you asked, sitting up from where you had been laying.

"Like what?" She asked standing up from her chair and walking towards you, to lean on one of the bedposts. You swallowed.

"I... don't know," you muttered.

"Hm," she hummed. "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"The astronaut. The one who goes crazy in outer space from looking out the window on his solo mission. Is that supposed to be you?"

"Oh. No, he isn't. He's just a character I thought of," you shook your head. Cairo raised an eyebrow at you.

"But he is a lot like you, isn't he? Alone, I mean. That's why you lied to Winnie about lunch." She got you with that line. You stared at her, frowning. Your mind screamed LIE over and over, but you knew there was no point. Not when she was reading you like a book. She took another step towards you, until she was standing in between your legs where you sat. You hadn't realised there was any connection with the astronaut when you thought of him, but maybe he was?

"Are you lonely, (Y/n)?"

"No? I mean, I don't think I am." It came out in a whisper; you didn't need to speak loudly when Cairo was so close. You could feel her hot breath on your cheeks like a fan.

"I've been thinking of you, since you arrived," Cairo murmured. Her fingers crawled up your knee slowly, the pads of her fingers brushing the hem of your shorts. She looked down at the small space between you.

"Yeah?" You asked.

"You're captivating," she said. "It's annoying. Shrouded in mystery and answering to no one."

"Yeah?" Pink was flushing towards your cheeks.

She smiled, looking up at your face again. "Yeah. It would be less distracting if you didn't come with such nice eyes."

You swallowed. It felt like everywhere her fingers went she left behind a trail of pure fire, churning up your insides. Your mind was screaming at you to not be an idiot. You'd probably regret this in a month or two when your mom told you you would be leaving again. Stop, right now and save yourself so much sleep, you idiot. That would've been the smart thing to do.

Her hands came up slowly, skimming gently up your neck until they landed at the nape, and you were reminded of the lollipop she had plucked from your lips to place in her own for a moment.

"Cairo, what're we doing?" you managed. Cairo shrugged.

"You ask me that but I'm not entirely sure. I just know it feels nice," she whispered to you. "So shut up and let me feel nice," she said with a smile.

Within an instant, her lips pressed hard into your own. You pulled your head back in surprise but Cairo's soft palms held you firmly where you sat, and you found yourself melting at the feeling. It was messy and it wasn't graceful, but it spoke of the passion that bubbled under Cairo's removed exterior. She started to move against you then, and you against her.

You found yourself entranced at the sensation, and pulled away just to get a look at her face. She was breathing heavily, lips red and eyes wild, and you only came back wanting more, reconnecting the both of you, your hands moving to her waist and then up her back.

"Cairo..." you mumbled, her lips moving to your jaw and then hastily to your ear.

"Mm," she hummed.

"Cairo, I can't," you managed, trying to pull away but finding her still on you. Your mind was yelling at you horrible, horrible things, not only about yourself but about what you wanted to do to her.

"Mm," she sounded again, moving down your neck in a way that left you tingly.

"Really, I just—"

"Take my hands off of you, then," she challenged, in between peppering kisses and sucking on a spot directly over your pulse. You shivered.

"I can't."

"Well, I guess we're at a crossroads," she said. Her right hand slid down your chest to the hem of your shirt, sliding gently underneath and laying itself flat against your stomach. She smirked when she reconnected your lips, knowing she was winning.

"This is a really bad idea."

"You talk too much."

"No, because this is really a conflict of interest. We're supposed to uh..." you stammered, getting distracted by he hand on your stomach slowly getting lower and lower, creeping towards the top of your shorts. "We're supposed read each other's stuff and be honest."

Cairo stopped, pulling away, raising her eyebrows at you. "Are you serious? You don't want to have sex with me —when you've been practically eye-fucking me since we met— so that you can be an honest peer grader???"

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid."

"That's because it is stupid."

"I— I just can't do that with someone."

She scoffed. "Are you waiting until marriage or something?"

"No."

"Are you asexual?"

"No."

"Is it Winnie?"

"No."

"Do you like boys?"

"No!"

"Then why? I mean, come on. We both knew this would end one of two ways."

"We're better off as just classmates, trust me."

Cairo blinked at you for a moment, like you were the most confusing person she had ever met. Then she got up off of you. Your lap felt lighter, but also emptier, and you wanted to scream up at the stars for not being able to just indulge this one little desire.

"Fine," she said, and her tone caught you off guard. Most people would probably be upset or angry, but it just seemed like Cairo was challenged and endeared. Like she was going to work out your problem and get right back to this situation, only this time she'd get exactly as she wanted.

She wouldn't, you promised yourself. Never ever. The heartbreak wasn't worth it. Cairo checked her watch. "Could you come over tomorrow too? I'm not done with my story yet, and I want you to read it."

"Uh," you thought out loud. You didn't see why not. Maybe you wouldn't be lovers, but just innocent friends? You weren't so much a monster that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself if you hung out with her. Innocent friends were much easier to forget anyways. "Sure," you said, unknowingly giving her exactly what she wanted.

===+++===

You had gone to her house almost every night for the past week, laying on her bed while she sat in the corner in the same familiar chair, typing the same bloody story that she refused to be satisfied with. It was becoming a pattern, even an unconscious one. The next day had been entirely as awkward as expected, with you trying to act as unbothered as possible.

The friendship was going better than you had anticipated, and you were very pleased with your own self restraint. Winnie had come over too, once or twice, and you enjoyed existing within the context but still on the periphery of a friendship.

Cairo Sweet would hunt you down as her friend or as her whatever-you-were, so you figured giving into one would be the path of least resistance anyhow.

She must have been an insanely picky writer. She wrote every word with an overabundant caution, like she was trying so hard to craft perfection. It was like she wanted her keyboard to drip liquid gold onto the page, and the critics to all collectively clap when she finished a sentence.

"You're like George R. R. Martin with how slow you finish a story," you had said once, out of the blue. Cairo looked up at you, offended, and thrown a pillow in your direction that connected with your face.

"I'm trying to cultivate perfection of the written word," she said, and you rolled your eyes.

"God, writers are so pretentious," you wrinkled your nose. "The only people who like to read annoying writers' books are annoying people."

Cairo scoffed. "Yeah, what, you want to be surrounded by James Bond fans? Stephen King fanboys?"

"That's cool, though," you shrugged. "Gets the point across, isn't badly written, and makes a sometimes beautiful passage along the way."

"Oh, so your writing," she joked, smiling at you. It was an innocent smile, and one that so starkly contrasted the lustful one she had looked at you with only a few days ago. Even in memory, her eyes sent a shiver up your spine.

"Yeah, well, people seem to like it. I guess I’m doing something right," you said. Cairo frowned.

"I don't get it," she shook her head. "And you still won't let me read that first one you wrote."

"It's not exactly something I want to talk about to you."

"Why? Is it bad?" she asked, sitting up straight. You knew she meant 'tell me your dirty secrets' by that.

"I just don't want to."

"Hm," she grumbled, laying back in the chair. "And anyways, if what you say about that thing is true, I don't know why Miller liked it. His book is full of the flowery stuff you complain about."

"He wrote a book???" You were incredulous.

Cairo nodded. "A while ago. Apostrophes and Ampersands."

"Never heard of it."

Cairo shrugged. "It didn't exactly make massive waves. It was ingenious though. Grand and tragic."

"You read it then?" You asked, sitting up and turning towards her.

"Yes, I did," she replied nonchalantly. "I enjoyed it."

You looked out the window for a moment, then back to her. Friends should be friends. "Can I borrow your copy?"

===+++===

"God," you groaned, reading Mr. Miller's book with it held over your head, laying on your back. Cairo had given it to you two days ago and now you were slogging through it, waiting for it to get interesting. "'Human ruins of a madman's love,'" you mocked.

"It's gorgeous," Cairo said. She wasn't in her usual chair, she was sitting by the window with it cracked open, a cigarette in her hand.

"It's not— wait, are you smoking?" You asked, sitting up. Cairo rolled her eyes, grinning at you.

"No, I'm just sitting here with a cigarette lit in my fingers."

"God. Wine and a cigarette, what are you, thirty-four."

"Shut up," she said, putting the cigarette in between her lips and puffing out the window. "And anyways that quote is beautiful."

"Maybe," you challenged. "But what is it actually saying?"

"She means everything to him and he's going crazy for her," Cairo said, like it was obvious. You nodded.

"That's the thought and THAT'S what's good there. That's universal. He's losing the plot— getting lost in the sauce— of trying to sound like he's saying something, to the point where he's losing the entire meat of the message."

"Maybe," said Cairo. "But you said one of your books was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Not exactly the height of literature."

"And I stand by that," You said. "That's actually enjoyable. You don't enjoy reading this, you enjoy being clever enough to read this, when it's saying something you've heard a million times in a million more decipherable ways. And those ways end up being more beautiful, too.”

"Perhaps," she said. "Or maybe I think the writing is beautiful."

"Well then, I think you're crazy."

"You're welcome to do that," Cairo replied, smile still wide. "You probably will."

===+++===

You managed not to cave until a warmer day, about a week after that. Cairo Sweet had previously been a sweet exterior with absolutely nothing on the inside for you to feel a deep pull towards. Only now, after slowly becoming comfortable, was the magnetic pull becoming physically painful.

Winnie had been absolutely beside herself, miffed at Cairo coming down and swiping you for herself. For a friend or for something more, it didn't matter. You were indisputably hers. And after a life of belonging to no one, you thought maybe Cairo took some sort of glee over making you belong to her.

Class was boring, Mr. Miller was fine, your mom seemed to be doing better, and school seemed to drone on. So when you came back to Cairo's house like normal, you were entirely unaware of how quickly you would fail your mission.

You were barely in door before she was running down the stairs, and the look of worry and surprise in your face only worsened when she got so up close to you, just for a second, and then just as hungry and hurriedly as before, kissed you with a brutal ferocity.

You were taken aback. Something was off. You pulled your head away and Cairo's palms pressed to your cheeks, thumbs brushing against the side of your face. She pulled you back and you had to turn your head away. "Cairo, what—"

"Shut up for once, please. Just kiss me the way a girl wants to be kissed."

You could feel every neuron telling you to get away from her. This was exactly what you had said you didn't want. And then there was the other side of you. The one that wanted to take her right then and then. You swallowed.

"I can't do these kinds of connections, Cairo. I told you."

"That's fine," Cairo rushed, her hand resting on your shoulder blade now. "I need one thing from you, and that's it. I don't ask for much, but I really need this."

Your eyebrows furrowed at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You've said you don't want anything, and okay, that’s fine. At least give me your body for the night. No strings attached.”

You blinked. “What?”

“I don’t owe you anything, you don’t owe me. We just do whatever this is. You make me feel good, and that’s it.” Her fingers had slithered back up to your hair, scratching gently at your scalp in a way that pulled your focus.

It just took a final glance at her face, for the dam to break. Her cheeks were a dusty red, eyes dilated and staring at you, and though you cursed yourself and your idiot Cro-Magnon mind, your palms went to her legs, tugging her up harshly and wrapping her legs around your waist.

“Shit,” you muttered, highly aware this was probably a bad idea. Cairo wrapped her arms around your neck, kissing you with a smile, and then once that broke, a passionate fervour. It was so much but it was so good. You carried her like that, up the stairs to her room, throwing her down on the bed.

She flipped you over, sitting on your lap like she had been back when the both of you first tried this, and it was all too intoxicating. Cairo’s hands went to your shoulders, pushing you back against the mattress before she leaned over, kissing you softly for a moment until it grew into more.

“Wait—” You said, and Cairo sat up, glaring at you.

“You did not get me all the way up here just to back out now,” said Cairo, annoyed beyond belief. You shook your head, tugging her back onto you. Her hair fell around you like a shield to your little private moment.

“I’m not backing out,” you promised, whispering because you felt like you didn’t want to be too loud. “I mean I’ve never … before.”

Cairo smiled at you, looking into your eyes for a moment. “Me neither,” she whispered back.

“Really?” you asked. Cairo raised her eyebrows.

“Fuck you.”

“No,” you shook your head, hand reaching up to move some of her hair out of her face. That wasn’t how you meant it. “…Really?”

She paused, eyes boring into yours. Then she gently nodded, and lowered herself down onto you, placing her lips on yours for another divine moment. It was all too hot in there. She let out a gasp when you tugged down her skirt.

===+++===

It was about five weeks after you had arrived, and you had gone to Cairo's house almost every week day, to continue exactly what had latched around your throat and tugged you harshly towards her.

There, in the milky white lighting of Cairo's table lamp, with her body snugly laying back against you and her book out in front of her, you fell in love for the first time. Really, fell in love.

Not the kind of "love" that swirls around your head as a child and wraps around the leg of the pretty girl in your class who has shiny hair. That kind of “love” where you can't get out a real sentence while talking to her. In comparison to the heavy feeling growing in your chest like a tumour, that was a mild liking.

No, this was the real thing. Adults had always said cryptic things about love, like "when you know, you'll know," and it hadn't ever really made sense, until it did.

As you looked down to watch her nose scrunch from the Nabokov, those three little words took on a whole new meaning. Her dark hair tickled the bare skin of your chest where she laid. Unlike her you still hadn't put your shirt back on, and you shivered a bit, even from under her blanket and her body heat. Her eyes, dark and focused, scanned across the paper, before elegantly flipping past the page with her thumb.

It was one of those renaissance paintings people cried for, in the Louvre, only it was playing out right in front of your eyes. And with that sudden rush of messy emotion, came the dastardly realisation that you were truly fucked.

"You're staring," she said, pulling you from your thoughts. She looked up at you, curious eyes focusing on your own. "What're you staring for?"

You shrugged, the movement shaking her against you. "What's the book you're reading?" You asked. "You seem mad at it."

She hummed, leaving her finger as a bookmark and flipping the cover towards you. The cover read Pale Fire. "That's because it's mostly incoherent rambling," she said. "Makes no sense."

You raised your eyebrows at her. "You don't understand Pale Fire?"

She tilted her head back, challenging you. “And you do?" You nodded. You had written a report during the two months you were in Maine. "Of course you do,” Cairo groaned, rolling her eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked.

Cairo shook her head, patting the side of your leg with her free hand. “Nothing.”

You sat up. “No, seriously. What do you mean?”

She sighed, closing the book around her index finger to hold her page. Cairo shut her eyes for a second, choosing her words carefully. “I mean... you’re annoyingly clever at something you don’t really care about.”

You laughed. "Careful, Sweet. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous."

"Well, I am," said Cairo. "I care about writing so much, and here you come along with literally no passion for it, and you're out-writing me."

"Uh, sorry?" You said with a smile. But the frown you saw on her face told you she wasn't really joking. Cairo scoffed, sitting up and turning towards you.

"No, I'm serious. You barely even try and you spill some amazing few paragraphs, and Mr. Miller loves you like you're his favourite student," she lamented, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"I promise," you sighed, "that I really don't mean to. I don't get it either, so—"

"—See, but that's what's so frustrating!" She cut you off. "You don't mean to. You don't mean to get in my way, but you do because you're so unbelievably perfect at everything, and Mr. Miller loves you so much."

"Okay, wait a minute," you said. "That's not fair."

"What's 'not fair' is me working my ass off until senior year to get to do what I've ALWAYS wanted to do, WRITE, and then you come along and pull all the praise and probably the recommendation letter too!"

You sat there for a moment, taking her words in, your mouth open in surprise. There had always been an inkling that Cairo was unhappy with having you in her class, but you had drowned the thought out with her lips on yours and treasuring every moment you made her smile with something stupid you said.

You cleared your throat and Cairo was already apologising. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," she said, reaching towards you. "It's just so important to me, I get really worked up..."

"It's fine," you rushed. You knew people screamed and said nasty stuff when they were mad. It's just how people were, and it made sense to you. Your mom was like that too, with the yelling and stuff. "Do you..." you mumbled, trying to figure out how to solve her problem. "Do you want me to stop trying?" You asked.

Cairo's eyes lit up within an instant at the idea. "That would be amazing," she breathed. "Thank you so much." She reached across the space between you, kissing with a softness that hadn't previously been there. It was sweet, just like she was, and you breathed a sigh of relief, with the confrontation being over.

You nodded. "Sure." Then your gaze went out the window, realising the sun was starting to set and rain clouds were starting to form. Your hand flew to your leg, having forgotten you were only in your underwear.

"You left it downstairs, remember?" Cairo said, almost playful. When the two of you had gotten to her house, her lips had been so firmly ravaging your neck that your pants hadn't even made it up the stairs before she tugged them off and flung them to the marble bust that stood nearby. You sighed.

"Do you know what time it is?" You asked, getting up from the bed and around to the other side to pick your shirt up off the floor. Cairo also got up, throwing the sheets off herself and walking right over to her closet.

"No, I left my phone at school on accident," she replied, opening the door and flicking through the hangers. You pulled the shirt on over your head and fixed the soft collar. On the opposite side of the room, Cairo pulled out the same cream-coloured dress she had been wearing when you first came to study with her. You paused.

"You're getting all fancy?" You asked, turning to her floor mirror and attempting to fix your absolutely messy hair in a way that it wouldn't be clear Cairo had run her hands through it and gripped on tight.

"Mhm," Cairo said. "Having a guest over tonight."

"Oh. They work with your parents or something?" You said, turning to watch her with curiosity over her answer. Cairo pulled off her shirt so that she was now completely naked. She turned back to you with a smile.

"Do you like what you see?" said Cairo, and it made you blush a bit. You nodded.

"You're absolutely beautiful," you said. If you weren't worried about getting home before dinner, you would have walked right over to her and tugged her back into her bed. Cairo waved you off.

"You're too kind," she said. "Now run on home, lover boy." Cairo disappeared into the bathroom with the dress in her hand, and you heard her rustling around with the sink, probably doing her makeup.

"I... I guess I'll see you, then," you said, left alone in the room.

"Mhm," she called from the bathroom. You frowned, but did a final scan for anything you needed to take before heading out her bedroom door and down the stairs, to where your jeans were clumsily thrown over the Roman statue's head. You tugged your phone and keys from the pocket.

"Fuck," you cursed. Only around thirty minutes to get the whole way across town to your house before your mom started worrying. You walked right over to the door... only to find it was also pouring down rain, now. Dammit. You tugged on your jacket from where it had been hanging on a steel coatrack by the door, pulling the hood up.

You walked out onto the porch, shut the door behind you, and took off running, going as fast as you could down the garden and then up the street into the woods. You got about a hundred metres from her house, that was, until you stopped.

Driving right past you, barely able to see him in the storm, was Mr. Miller. Driving right to Cairo's house in his little sedan. You froze, stopping dead in the rain to watch him go. Even after his license plate retreated in the distance, you felt a sickening sense of dread begin to pool in your gut, one that was already tarnishing your prior bliss.

===+++===

part three perhaps? i also have a tara carpenter one in the works and a lorraine day that's mostly done so hopefully i'll be updating more frequently

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #cairo sweet x reader #cairo sweet #miller's girl #letorip #jenna #jenna ortega imagine

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jaylver · 4 months

Text

ROCKLAND — P.SH

synopsis: almost like a nightmare, park sunghoon plagues your present just as much as your past regrets had done. however, this time around, you and him decided to right your wrongs one last time.

pairings: non-idol!sunghoon x afab!reader

genre: exes to lovers, miscommunications, angst, second chance romance

warning(s): profanities, brief mentions of smoking, drinking, partying and alcohol

wc: 8k

a/n: i'm BACK. this has been in the works for far too long because of the constant writer's block so i'm not sure if it's good or not, plus it's my first exes to lovers so please be nice <3 greatly inspired by gracie abram's "rockland", so do give it a listen too! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

If there was one thing you’d regret forever in this lifetime, it would be ending things with the love of your life.

You admit it, you’re selfish. Selfish for wanting to leave the town you grew to hate, selfish for prioritising yourself and chasing your dreams, choosing to leave the people you loved instead. Painted a villain in the eyes of many close to the person you once went home to and even the man himself. But, how could he fully blame you when he was equally selfish too?

Park Sunghoon thought keeping you in the cage of this small town was going to make him a happy man. He often fantasised about the possibility of you and his future together, completely pushing aside the thought of you leaving, until it actually happened.

He was angry. He let himself be consumed by his own feelings and mindlessly projecting his anger and blame on you, while you regretfully did the same.

Pools of tears and venomous words spewed out of impulse left you scarred and broken down. It was a bad ending that you’d see in movies coming to life. The moment you had everything packed and goodbyes said, you figured leaving was for the best, now that your ex hates you and his friends who probably felt the same.

It was a shame, though. Heading to somewhere far from home with a heavy heart knowing you didn’t have the chance to see him once more. Frankly, you were a coward, and so was he.

That explained why returning back home was the scariest thing you had to face in a while.

It was ironic, wasn't it? Coming back to the place you wished for years to escape and actually doing so, but eventually having to return after you dropped out of the college that you've been praying and praying to get into, only for it to be overwhelming and the city lights couldn't compare to the starry night of your hometown.

You suppose you got the thing you wanted, but it just wasn't what you imagined.

Freshly twenty-two and out of school, you figured home was what you needed in your next step before deciding if you should re enrol. However, you find yourself not having the guts to face your family and friends, not after the promises turned out to be empty.

"You should quit smoking,"

Yunjin, your cousin and practically your closest friend growing up, was just a distance away when you spotted her, leaning against her car with a cigarette in hand. You found it amusing how she didn't cave into vapes instead in this day and age.

"Y/N!" She pushed the bud of her half smoked cigarette into the wall, then started jogging towards you, her dress flowing in the wind and boots making obnoxious clicks against the ground. There was a sense of relief in her eyes, her usual smile that you missed graced your presence. "God, I missed you, things aren't the same without you here,"

In the span of a few seconds of her hug, you took the chance to digest her words. Did that mean the traditions you've upheld are now gone? Parties, trips to the beach, all those?

"What?"

Yunjin pulled away, still managing a small smile. "I don't think things were ever the same since you left … and after you broke up with Sunghoon,"

You blinked, looking away into the distance. "I don't think I'll be welcomed,"

Yunjin scoffed, slapping your arm and scurrying to get your bags. "Don't say that! So not true. Everyone in the family is waiting for you to be back—"

"And talk behind my back about my failure in graduating? Yeah, no,"

‘‘That’s not going to happen,” Yunjin sighed, struggling with your bags and declining your help, but you still forcefully grabbed some knowing she’d eventually crumble. “I think they’ll get it,”

Would they?

Once you are settled into the car, bags successfully loaded into the trunk, you let yourself melt into the comforts of Yunjin’s passenger seat, finally getting to close your eyes and drift away. You thought it was best before having to face everything and everyone once again.

“What’s your plan now, anyway?”

Without opening your eyes, you envisioned a distant image in your head. “Take my time off and see if I’d like to re enrol or not. If I don’t, I’ll just go plan B,”

“Which is?”

“Accept the job offer in London,”

Yunjin almost hit the brakes out of shock, the news that came from you felt like it had hit her in the face, but somehow, she managed to keep her cool and not get you both killed. “What?” she shrieked.

“What?” you questioned back, sounding nonchalant as if this was just another normal offer that didn’t seem particularly significant. But it was.

“You have a job offer in London and you’re coming back here,”

“I left the city for a reason, it’d be stupid to go to another one right after,”

Yunjin exhaled, blinking in stupor. “Right,”

“How’s … everyone?”

Yunjin knew you weren’t referring to your family. Of course you’d know how your own family was doing, that’s a no brainer. What you were trying to mean was your old friend group. You couldn’t blame them for being mad at you, after all you were only a part of it because of Sunghoon.

“Heeseung’s graduating soon,” this was the first update you’ve gotten from Yunjin after those years away. It took you every will not to ask her about them, but here you were now, finally giving in. “They’re still the same, nothing’s changed,”

“What about him?”

Yunjin seemed hesitant, obviously holding back something that she didn’t want you to know. “I’m not going to explode upon hearing, you know that, right?” you joked lightheartedly, but secretly dreading hearing about him.

“I think he’s seeing someone,”

“Good for him,”

Would it be a crime to admit that you still missed your ex? Something in you was wishing you could rekindle a connection again now that you’re back, but all that hope shattered. If he had already moved on, why couldn’t you? Even after knowing how he probably hated and resented you for doing what you did, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate him back.

“That’s all?”

“You want me to go full crazy ex mode? You’re insane,” you shook your head, smiling a little, hoping Yunjin didn’t notice the speck of sadness swimming in your irises. “Whoever she is, I’m sure that I would like her … if I were slightly nicer,”

She let out a ‘tch’ in response, though grinning. “What are you going to do with them around? There’s no way you’d be able to fully avoid them,”

“What can I do? I’ll just have to coexist.”

Coexist was a funny word. How were you able to do that when you couldn’t even fully get over Sunghoon in the first place? Thinking about meeting him in flesh already made you feel like doubling over and projectile vomit. That was how pathetic you were, what a shame.

Settling in was easy. It was natural to be back home, way better than being in the noisy city and constantly surrounded by a bunch of fake friends. The question of why you left in the first place started burning your mind as you tossed around trying to sleep, but it only persisted to bug you. Then came the thoughts of Sunghoon and the friends you left behind, which prompted you to be fully awake, sitting up in bed.

It wasn't the greatest idea to reach for your phone and search for his contact name, just to recall the day you deleted his number. Yet, your memory never failed you, remembering the digits like it was first instinct, fingers already typing his number. Your thumb hovered over the green call button, a haze in your mind.

Inevitably, you shut your phone and dug your head into your pillow. He would've laughed then, if he had seen this happen, the exact moment of you almost caving in and finally saying the sorry you never gave him.

The pictures you saw of him on social media here and there made you wonder how he was and if he had already forgotten about you. There were a few recurring appearances of a girl that seemed to linger by his side in group pictures that caught your eyes. Who took your bed when you left? Who laughed at everything that he said? Was it that girl?

Just like the time you first had a crush on Sunghoon, you stayed awake thinking about him, except this time around, you were filled with regret instead of hope.

"Heeseung asked me about you,"

Yunjin's random confession in the middle of the day had surprised you. Lee Heeseung, the best friend of your ex who you swore hated your guts, asked about you? Shocker.

"What did you say?"

"I said something along the lines of you figuring out life and just chilling here until the time comes," Yunjin shrugged, and you nodded slowly. "But there's something he said that made me a bit … confused?"

"What?"

"He said they wanted to see you again,"

You raised your eyebrows, a hint of scepticism flashed over your eyes. "They want to see me? Tell me a better joke next time, thanks,"

"I'm not joking! I mean, he did say excluding Sunghoon, but the other guys wanted to know how you were now that you're back," Yunjin winced a little at the mention of your ex, but you waved it off.

"Are they treating me to dinner or something?"

"Well … no. But Heeseung asked me to bring you to their next party, which is in a few days," Yunjin's gaze softened, hand patting your back. "You know you don't have to come if you don't want to. I mean, after all that happened with you and them and Sunghoon,"

You let out a small sigh, absentmindedly fidgeting your fingers. "It's all in the past now. I'm sure Sunghoon has moved on with another girl, and maybe—just maybe—the guys do hate me less."

You never went to that party Yunjin mentioned.

It was hard to admit but you knew, deep inside you, you were afraid, too cowardly to face the people you once knew. Instead, you chose to linger around like a lost soul in a town full of the ghosts of your past.

It didn't help that the party was also in Sunghoon's house. How did they expect you to go in the first place? You thought you'd never step foot in there after you broke it off with him, and you were adamant on keeping it that way, but your heart got the worst of you.

On the night of the party, you drove around the neighbourhood, eventually stopping across the street of his house. You didn't know what got to you to do so, but you guessed reminiscence and bright lights coming from the house were the reason. The music was loud, people were coming in and out of the house, and the only thing you could think of was him.

That thought alone was enough to have you drive away, leaving the house further and further away into the background just as the memories of him being pushed into the back of your mind.

Rotting in your bed wasn't how your early 20s were meant to be spent, and avoiding almost everyone most definitely wasn't the case either.

Your family and Yunjin were the only people you saw daily, as for the friends you once had, they were long forgotten or didn't even bother to reach out. Except for Heeseung and the others.

That, to you, was a really funny thing to think about. People who stuck by you after the break up and swore to be your closest friends didn't try contacting you once you moved back, knowing damn well word traveled fast in the town; whereas the friends you thought hated you were the first to reach out.

"I'll go to that party," you said to Yunjin on a sunny afternoon tanning session by the pool, sunglasses sitting on the bridge of your nose, hiding the apprehension in your eyes.

"Really?" Yunjin almost jumped out of her seat. It was a party she had brought up days ago, still persistent on taking you out. At least this time around, it wasn't in Sunghoon's house, but her friend Chaewon's. "That's great! Chaewon and the girls are super nice, you'll love them. Let's pick a nice outfit for you, okay?"

Yunjin was by far the most enthusiastic one between you and her. She was picking out dresses and tops, literally rummaging through your closet for anything, and you had to remind her it was just a college party. So, you settled for a skirt and a plain top.

"Will you be okay? I'll stick by you," Yunjin had her arms around you, standing by the front door of Chaewon's house, hearing the music blaring from the inside.

"I'm fine—I think I'll be fine—I just don't want to run away from everyone anymore," it was mostly true, you thought it was inevitable to hide all the time, that wasn't how you're going to spend your life living.

"If there's anything, tell me, okay? We'll leave if you're getting sick," Yunjin gave your arm a final squeeze of assurance before crossing the threshold.

It was the same as every party you've gone to. Loud music, drunk college kids, liquor and beers strayed around, it reeked of your nightmare in a nutshell there.

Yunjin's friends were all as lovely as she had promised. The host herself was wobbling on her feet but managed to grace you with her humour. There was Sakura and Kazuha that you learned were foreign students.

Throughout the night, you were stuck by Yunjin, going from circle to circle and introducing yourself or recognising some of your past school mates. But, almost inevitably so, Heeseung, Jay and Jake had made an appearance too.

"Y/N," Jay was the first to call your name, causing you to turn your head at the familiar voice.

Your thoughts during then were jumbled into a mess. The people you were fighting to avoid were standing in front of you, all of which were much different than the memories you had of them in mind.

Three of them had grown taller, gained some muscles and matured in many ways. Jay's hair was dyed pink, Heeseung got new piercings and Jake had a tattoo on his finger. It was strange to admit they're the same people you knew despite feeling the complete opposite of familiarity.

"Hey—" you were cut off by Jay closing in and pulling you into a hug, this for once was something you remembered about him.

"We're so glad you're back," he whispered into your hair, squeezing you tight. It reminded you then that you were friends with him and the guys before you even dated Sunghoon, that connection was deeper than it seemed, and for it to be severed just because of a breakup was gut wrenching to realise. "We're sorry, Y/N, we're so sorry,"

His apology was genuine, that's for sure. Once you pull away, you let both Heeseung and Jake take turns to hug you, whispering apologies into your ear. It was odd, to accept their apologies and having to start afresh. You held onto them, just taking it in. To forgive was a big step, but maybe it was your first step.

You sat there, catching up with them and slowly getting comfortable just like the old days. Heeseung graduated and got a good job offer, Jay and Jake were still studying, both of which were in the same university. You were relieved there was nothing too awkward between you and them, or else you would have regretted your choices.

The night continued on with a few small talks and eventually you had to excuse yourself to the toilet. You wondered how Chaewon's house was so big, with halls that seemed to never end, or it could just be the effects of alcohol.

Stumbling around, you held onto the walls, passing by rooms occupied by people probably doing something unspeakable. You thought your peace of mind would be intact until the end of the night, but you were wrong. Upon turning a corner, you froze.

It was Sunghoon. It was him.

Grief was a funny feeling, especially when it comes to someone you once knew. You stared at him and there he was, like a ghost from your past coming back to haunt you. He was the shell of the person you loved, and you couldn't help but grieve the person he once was. What was he like now?

Before you could even turn around and make a run for it, his wandering eyes landed on you. He had the same thought process as you. Realisation, panic, sadness, confusion all mixed into a heap of feelings.

Your feet started moving on its own, as you stepped back, he took a step forward. Your breath became ragged, heart thumping hard and blood pumping in your ears. He was nearing, and you were running away, it was the same as before.

"Y/N!" He called out, and all it took was him to say your name again to have you stop in your tracks. Gosh, you were pathetic.

He was standing before you now, closer than he was a moment ago. It was then you realised how much he had changed too.

He was taller, smile lines etched much deeper into his face, almost changing along the same wavelengths with the others. There was something different about the way he looked at you, however. From love in his eyes that eventually changed into hatred was now filled with longing and confusion.

"Y/N," he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice, as if he couldn't believe you were there.

"Sunghoon," you blinked, a frown unknowingly making its way to your face. You let a few beats of silence pass, conflicted and nervous. "I—I should leave,"

"No—!" his hand reached out for you, but you didn't feel his touch. He didn't dare to touch you, letting his hand linger before pulling it back to his side. "I mean, you don't have to leave,"

"I thought you hate me,"

Sunghoon's gaze fell to the floor, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. He met your eyes once more. "I should hate you, shouldn't I? But I don't think I do, I never did,"

You blinked, a little surprised, a little hurt. All along he had made you think he hated your guts but he actually didn't? "Oh," you seemed to have lost the ability to talk or to compute a proper sentence.

You thought of the things you wanted to ask him. If he was still angry at you or if things were working for him. But, what came out was the question you've stored in the back of your mind instead.

"Are you with someone new?"

You figured he didn't expect such a question from you, much as you didn't expect yourself saying it. It was an itching thought, one that made you look like a typical ex, but you couldn't help it.

"I'm not," he sounded almost exasperated, as if having to squash down this rumour for the thousandth time.

"Oh … oh," you didn't know what to say, averting your gaze away from him and finding comfort in the wall behind him.

Sunghoon paused, gaze following yours, looking reluctant whether or not to continue the conversation, but alas, he did. "How have you been?"

"Bad," you laughed a little, and Sunghoon's ears perked at the sound of it that he hasn't heard for ages. "You?"

"I quit skating,"

That was surprising. How could he have? Skating was his dream, his past, present and supposed future, but now, it came crashing down. You didn't know if you should feel sorry for him, as you have been a part of his journey, but one bit of you also seemed to have started mourning the changed Sunghoon that stood before you.

"Why?"

He shrugged, hands slipping into his pocket with a solemn look. "I lost interest. I'm into music now, I'm in a band with the guys,"

You heaved a breath, a deep one. Ironic it was that he was doing music now when he was the one criticising you in the past for wanting to pursue it. Who even was this person? With a new appearance came a new personality, he was much further away than you thought despite the physical distance.

"You've changed," you didn't know what prompted you to say that, maybe it was the disbelief or the denial that he was someone new, but whatever it was, neither of you could deny the fact that he did change. "I'm scared of the person you've become,"

A beat passed, an unreadable expression on Sunghoon's face that you couldn't distinguish even though by now you thought you'd know every one of them.

"And I'm scared you're still the same."

Seeing Sunghoon that night seemed to have altered something in your life. Somehow, he was everywhere you went.

Who was working at the register? Sunghoon. Who was at the park? Sunghoon. Who was at the party Yunjin managed to drag you to? Sunghoon.

It was haunting.

All those little encounters didn't mean you talked to him like normal, though. The awkward tension in the air still remained, seeing each other only reminded you and him both of your pasts, and you hated it. That explained why you were having a hard time seeing him at another party you were at.

Yunjin was much more of a party goer than you expected, and she successfully convinced you to go to all of them. It was fun until you got drunk and started being emotional. Your efforts of hiding from Sunghoon that night failed when he barged into the empty room you were sobbing in, whether it was accidental or not, you didn't know, you wished to not know.

"Y/N?"

His voice brought back the times he called your name. Both the good and bad ones. You stared up at him from the ground, tears welling your eyes. The person you were looking at was someone you thought was a soulmate, but now stood as someone closer to a stranger than a friend.

"W–what are you doing here? Why are you crying?"

The alcohol messing with your brain was processing his words, but what came out from your lips was the total opposite of an answer. "I'm sorry, Hoonie,"

Sunghoon's eyes widened at the nickname, the privilege that only you had. He kneeled down, taking a seat on the ground opposite you, a visible distance in between.

"I hate this—us—I feel like if we gave it one night, to talk, to just feel—you'd hate me less and make it alright," you choked back the sobs building up in your throat, the dizziness making you unaware of how Sunghoon reached out only to hesitate and pressed his hand back to his side. "Just wish that we could fight now, I'd hold you on the comedown …" your voice faltered, head leaning onto the wall.

"Y/N, you're drunk, we can talk this out another day," Sunghoon striped off his jacket and covered your exposed thighs with it. "Just … don't avoid me. I–I don't hate you, I just hope we can have a decent conversation without thinking about the past,"

He admitted it, how the two of you had secretly been thinking about the past, letting it be a big wall in between instead of growing from it. Yet, you could tell the unspoken anger and sadness still lingered, choosing to pour out gradually and unknowingly.

"Bet you wish you never even met me," you started slurring, hand gripping onto his jacket tightly. "I can't blame you, I broke your every heartbeat," your eyes were shut, images playing in your mind, not knowing the saddened look dawning on Sunghoon's face.

"Let's get you back."

In your sleep that night, you saw him. He was there, so far yet so close, and just like reality, he was hard to reach, harder to understand compared to before. He was a knife cutting deep, leaving a mark that constantly reminded you of the past.

How could you even make everything go back to the way it was?

Sunghoon was on your front door step the night everyone was out for dinner except you.

You hadn't expected him to turn up, thinking it'd be you that stood at his doorstep instead as you still had his jacket from that party (which you do not want to think about again).

"Sunghoon. Hey," the door was opened and you leaned against it, trying your best at hiding the hint of pining in your gaze.

"Oh, hey," he greeted back rather stiffly, dressed in a simple attire with the classic white Lacoste sneakers that he always wore. "I–I wanted to—"

"Take your … jacket?" You cut him off half way, nerves wrecking your brain.

A beat passed, Sunghoom visibly gulped. "Y–Yeah, my jacket,"

"I'll go grab it for you," you jerked your thumb over your shoulder, awkwardly scurrying back in to retrieve his jacket and coming back to see him chewing on his bottom lip, seemingly nervous. "Here. Thanks for it,"

"No problem," Sunghoon coughed, grabbing the jacket but absolutely paying no mind to it. His stare was straight at you.

"That's all, right?"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah," you echoed, hating the sudden rigidness between the two of you. "Bye then, Sunghoon,"

"Bye," Sunghoon said, looking dazed. Weird.

You saw him backing away and decided to close the door, but before you could even do so, a force had stopped you from closing it. Not a force, much rather a hand, his hand. The door was pushed open, and you physically jumped at the suddenness of it. Your eyes met Sunghoon's sorrowful ones.

"Don't push me away, Y/N, not again,"

"Sunghoon,"

He made his way in, closing the door behind him and you let him. Was this seriously happening?

"You said you wanted to give us one night to talk, so I'm here now. I didn't care about the jacket, I cared about you. I hate seeing us like this, it's like we're strangers," Sunghoon let out a frustrated huff, eyebrows furrowed.

"We can't just pretend nothing has happened between us,"

"So you want me to hate you instead? You're saying as if it's easy, Y/N, feelings don't work that way!"

"Then how do we go back to how it was? We can't, that's the truth. You're not the same person I used to know,"

"Cut the bullshit. I'm the same as I was, maybe just a little different than I was years ago, but that doesn't change anything. When does that ever stop you from loving?"

Were you too scared to love?

Sunghoon ran his hand across his face, wetting his lips. "You’re scared of change, and I don’t think that’s something new about you,”

Ouch.

“But I really wish you could let it all go. I don’t hate you, nor do I harbour any anger regarding the things that happened years ago. It hurts, it did, but seeing you now made me feel the opposite of all those emotions,” Sunghoon took a deep breath in, and you were holding yours. “I think about you a lot, actually. I regretted a lot of the things I said and done, and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there for you and giving you the support you needed. I should've fought for us and not leave, I–I—" Sunghoon choked, unable to hold in his overpowering emotions anymore.

You didn’t say anything, instinctively closing in and pulling him into your arms, letting his head lie on your shoulder, ignoring the feeling of his warm tears soaking the fabric of your shirt. "I'm sorry too, for leaving you so easily,"

You stood there with Sunghoon in your arms, inevitably crying along and sobbing out your own apologies, the ones you had owed him and hidden all these years. He held you tight just as you did, and it felt like the nights he had you in his arms whenever you cried. You eventually calmed down whereas Sunghoon was still composing himself, avoiding your gaze.

You took the opportunity to hug him again, tighter and firmer this time, as if trying to stop him from running away.

"Can we start over? I don't want us to be strangers,"

You heard a sniffle, then a shaky breath of relief. "I'd love to,"

Pulling away, you locked eyes with him. They were twinkling brighter than the stars in the skies outside, filled with a spark of hope. "I'll make us some hot tea. Do you want to … stay over?"

"Can I?"

"I really want you to."

It didn't take more to convince Sunghoon to stay, all you had to do was ask and he'd listen.

That night, you and him hid in your room, talking for the whole night until the break of dawn. Nothing about the way he talked had changed, nor his laughter or the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He told you about the band and some side gigs, offering to bring you to some too.

You laid there in bed laughing all night, occasionally peeking over the side of your bed to check up on him who slept on the extra mattress, only to meet his eyes and freeze.

The red string of fate tying you and him together was beginning to reform.

Not feeling dread every time you saw Sunghoon was a new start for you. In fact, you were glad to see him.

The misunderstandings and complexity built up over the years were finally addressed, leaving you to peace and a small hope of rebuilding what you had with him. But you kept that thought away for now, holding onto the pieces you had at the moment.

"Come to one of my gigs," Sunghoon made a trip to your house on a random afternoon, a box of your favourite chocolate covered strawberries in his hand. He never forgot anything about you, didn't he?

"Are you bribing me or asking me?" You said despite accepting the box, your heart squeezing at the thought of him remembering the littlest details about you.

"I'm asking you but also offering a gift," he let himself in, almost like always, and you didn't even notice, just letting him do so. "I saw it and I thought of you so I got it,"

"Thanks," you waved the box a little, setting it down on the table and leaning slightly against it. "You still remember,"

His gaze softened. "Of course I do," his hand by his side was itching to reach out, but it never did, instead, he played it off by giving you a smile. "So, what do you say? This Saturday, watch our gig at the pub,"

"Are you singing?"

"I wish I did," he laughed, and you momentarily recalled the times you had karaoke sessions with him. Curse reminiscence. "I play the bass, Heeseung's the front man,"

You nodded slowly, picturing them as a band and smiling slowly. You've missed them, and it was then when you realised it. "I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Obviously, do you want me to say no?"

"Well, no," Sunghoon chuckled, quite literally unable to hide his excitement from the way he's grinning widely. "I'm just … glad, and surprised, and happy,"

You bit back a smile, shaking your head at him. "Text me the details, will you? I don't want to miss it."

Saturday rolled around quickly. You and Yunjin were sitting in a corner of the pub, beers on the table and whispering gossip about some of your high school classmates. High school might've ended years ago but gossip never stopped.

"Alright, folks, the next act is someone you already know, they are not strangers," the manager of the pub stepped onto the small stage, announcing Sunghoon and the guy's band. "Please welcome … April Nights!"

April?

You bit your tongue, an odd feeling boiling in your stomach. April was the month you broke up with Sunghoon and left for university, it was more than just a coincidence for him and his band to have 'April' in their name. All you knew was the sinking feeling never went away.

"You alright?" Yunjin noticed your silence, casting a worried glance at you.

"April …" you mumbled, eyes staring straight ahead at Sunghoon who was setting up his bass on stage. "There must be something behind it,"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

You shook away that feeling currently eating up and put your focus on Sunghoon instead. It wasn't your first time watching him perform. It has always been him on ice in a big arena, but now it was him on a small stage at a dingy pub.

Sunghoon's eyes wandered all over the room, finally landing on you, a smile spreading on his pretty face. You managed a small smile, waving a little to let him know you're there, you're actually there and not a figment of his imagination, a dream that he has been wishing on for far too long.

The first song they played was an ABBA song. To be specific, it was your favourite ABBA song that you would listen to with Sunghoon in the past. Was it a coincidence?

You knew Heeseung had a vocal of stars, but to hear it for the first time in years was sending you into heaven. However, you failed to keep your focus on him, redirecting it to the bassist. You couldn't stop looking at Sunghoon, and his gaze wouldn't leave yours either.

The second song soon came by, and at that point onwards, you knew it wasn't a coincidence. It only took two songs for you to realise that Sunghoon had prepared a set list of your favourite songs. The band was currently playing Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, a song you had loved ever since forever.

You shouldn't be feeling light headed, but you were.

The set ended almost a few hours later. It was filled with your favourite songs, undoubtedly. The whole time, you were truly holding your breath, especially when Sunghoon was holding your gaze.

While people were filing in and out of the pub gradually, you stayed. It was well past midnight and Yunjin's cheeks were pink from the alcohol, wandering off to join Heeseung and the others. You, on the other hand, were sober as hell, waiting for Sunghoon with nerve wrecking anticipation.

"Hey, hey, hey. How did we do?" Sunghoon slid into a seat like an apparition appearing out of thin air. You jumped a little, but melted into a smile at the sight of him.

"You guys were great," it was genuine, because they did do amazing, probably more than just amazing. "'April nights', an interesting name,"

Realisation dawned on Sunghoon's face, he swallowed thickly. "I—yeah. April was an interesting month,"

"The set list …"

"Right, the set list," he chuckled, shifting on his feet a little nervously and stiffly. "I figured since you're here I'll play some of your favourite songs,"

"Oh," you let out softly, not knowing what else to say, this was something you found yourself acting around Sunghoon now. "That's … nice,"

Sunghoon gouged your expressions and the tone of your voice, a slow frown etching onto his tired face. "Did you not … like it? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,"

"No, it's not that! I'm just—" you paused, thinking of an appropriate word to describe how you felt. Frankly, you didn't know your exact feelings. "—surprised and … confused?"

"Confused?"

"Sunghoon, we're exes, and you pulling this isn't exactly helping—this—" you gestured to the space between you and him. "Us,"

Sunghoon was silent for a moment, occasionally opening his mouth to say something just to close it before he could. "I—maybe I read it all wrong, I thought—you know what, forget it,"

"Don't. Just tell me," you reached over for him, but didn't touch his hand. "What are we? We're not exactly best friends nor are we enemies. I don't want any tension between us and I don't want you to think you have zero chance at all," you breathed, searching for his eyes. "I would want us to work out again, if that's what you want too,"

Sunghoon's eyes glistened with a spark of hope, relief washing over his face. It was an answer to his question. "I want us to work out. I want us to have another chance," his hand reached out for yours the first time since you've seen each other, feeling the warmth of his touch that you were no stranger to. He carefully and gently intertwined his hand with yours.

"We'll always find our way back to each other."

It was odd but comforting to know that nothing has changed when it came to you and Sunghoon.

Sunghoon brought you to your favourite places, ate your favourite dishes, did your favourite activities as an attempt to rekindle everything back. Safe to say it was working.

Just like the first dates you had together, you felt yourself having the same bubbly feeling internally, the same giggles you caught yourself having after a stupid joke he made. Despite all that, over the course of a few weeks, it had you wondering about your relationship with him.

"Will you date him again?" Yunjin could tell you were struggling, even if you didn't say it, it was still quite evident.

"What's with the sudden question?"

"Well, considering he has taken you out on so many dates and still hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend again, I could tell you're troubled,"

"Okay, mind reader," you grumbled and shifted in your seat, hating how right she was. "He said he wanted to give us a chance again, so I was expecting that—you know—we'd get back together soon,"

"Your 'soon' seems a bit urgent, but I don't blame you," Yunjin shrugged, gaze softening at your words. "I can tell how much love there still is between the two of you. It's natural to gravitate towards each other, but time, time is what you need to heal the scars, Y/N. It's been years, give yourself time."

You suppose giving yourself time truly was what you needed. But when you mentally said you needed space, you didn't mean wanting Sunghoon to ignore you.

That's right. He was ignoring you.

How did you know? Apparently, the hard way.

Calls, messages were all brushed aside. You didn't even see him physically. At one point, you considered him dead, but seeing him at a party proved to you that he wasn't.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Cornering him was a challenge, but being headstrong and slightly buzzed, nothing could possibly stop you.

"Y/N?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you remember my name," you seethed, almost stumbling forward and throwing a punch at him. "So, we're playing the game where you get back at me and ghost me after all that we've been through lately? Sweet! Could've given me a head's up though,"

"What? You're the one who's planning to abandon me just like before!"

"What are you even saying?"

"Your email, Y/N. I saw your email. How you have a big job in London and you just can't wait to join, throwing me away like a summer's fling right before you leave,"

"You're not making any sense, I'm not accepting that role!" You were heaving at anger at this point, matching the fumes emitting from Sunghoon's ears. "You dickhead! I'm literally throwing my dreams away and you're here thinking I'm leaving you again? Is that what you thought of first? Oh, maybe you could've just asked me, but you didn't, just like the past,"

Bringing up the past had triggered something not only in you but him. He blinked, keeping silent but chewing anxiously on the inside of his cheek.

"You never changed, huh?"

You heaved a deep breath, shaking your head a little, not to answer his question, but at him.

"Well I guess that makes the both of us."

"I fucked it up, didn't I?"

The night after the confrontation, you woke up on Yunjin's couch with a hangover thanks to your habit of drinking your problems away. Remembering Sunghoon's face and the feelings you felt literally had you shrivelling back into the couch, a deep frown etched on your face.

"Partly, yes, but mostly, no," you felt the couch dip beneath Yunjin's weight as she joined your side, a warm cup of coffee in her hand. "He fucked up first, but I think it's all just a big misunderstanding,"

"I don't we've healed from it," you took the cup from her and drank from it. "He's scared of me leaving and I was considering leaving again. Maybe we're just not meant to be,"

Yunjin sighed, moving her body closer to you and placing a comforting hand on yours. "If you're not leaving, that means you're staying, which also means you get to make it right. You get to have time to mend it all unlike the last time,"

"I have to make it right, don't I?"

A nod of confirmation from Yunjin was all you needed to know your next step. So, you decided to show up at his gig in the same exact pub without thinking through it twice.

"He's not here tonight," Heeseung looked thoroughly puzzled by your sudden appearance, and it seemed none of them knew about the small altercation you had with Sunghoon.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's been acting a bit … off. We asked him to take a night off, maybe you should give him a call."

If only it was that easy.

Walking back home with a dejected heart was not the plan you had in mind. A part of you even thought this was truly the end, maybe he reached the conclusion of going no contact and you have no choice but to accept it. Was this karma?

It didn't help that you walked past the park that you and Sunghoon used to run off to back in the past. The exact bench which you and him sat on still resided there. Your curious mind led your legs towards it, taking a seat and remembering all the memories you shared with him.

Being alone under the night sky and getting accompanied by the dim light coming from the street lamp had given you a chance to rethink your choices about coming back home, whether it was worth it to see Sunghoon once again and try for the closure you never got. Well, look where it got you now.

The ruffles of the leaves got you snapping your head towards the direction of the noise, but it only landed on a figure.

"Y/N?"

You squinted, waiting until the figure walked under the streetlamp to distinguish that it was … Sunghoon. You should be feeling glad now that he was there in front you, but why were you feeling the exact opposite?

"Sunghoon? W–what are you doing here?" You stood up, watching him getting closer, the anguish in his face was clear.

"I–I … I went to look for you," he started, carefully and slowly inching closer until there's a comfortable distance between you both. "You weren't home and I thought … that was it,"

That was a fatal flaw you and him shared, wasn't it?

"I went to the pub to look for you too," your voice came out in a hushed whisper, breathing becoming ragged. "And you weren't there, so I thought … I thought it was the end too,"

"Fuck's sake, I know I said this many times but I'm sorry, Y/N," he sounded desperate, apologetic and almost exasperated. "I'm sorry for assuming things and ignoring you, I guess I never really got rid of the avoiding thing. I'm just … scared of you leaving me and I can't accept it again,"

"I'm not leaving, Hoonie," you were the first to reach out, to touch him and pull him into your embrace. "I didn't think you'd see that email so I never said anything about it. But I'm not leaving, okay? Not this time, never again. I'm here and I'm staying,"

You heard Sunghoon's quiet breathing next to your ear, his calming heartbeat thrumming against your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I really am, Y/N. I said I wanted to make this right but why does it feel like I'm fucking it all up?"

"You're not, Hoon, trust me. If I have to be honest here, both of us have past scars that aren't healed yet. It takes time, one step at a time, and that was what I learned. I think we're not fully healed from the past," you held onto him tighter, spilling all your hidden truths. "We can make it right, but first, we have to forgive ourselves, forgive each other and move on,"

Sunghoon pulled away a little, but his arms still remained around you. It was the first time you were ever so close to him since the split, wholly vulnerable and showing him your truest emotions.

"I forgive you," he whispered, pearly tears threatening to spill from the edge of his eyes. "And I'm sorry again,"

"I forgive you too," your grip on his jacket tightened, a small comforting smile appearing on your lips, one that Sunghoon reciprocated.

"I don't think I'll ever stop loving you," he confessed, a little out of the blue, but it was something he needed to get out of his system before he burst. "Those years when you were away, I see you in everyone else, I don't think anyone could ever compare. I still love you even after this long,"

Your mind was in a haze upon hearing his confession, sincerity and longing hidden in his words but evident in his eyed. For a moment, you thought of what you could say, but nothing came to mind, so you did the first thing your body told you to. You kissed him. Actually, it was more of a peck, a simple quick peck that was enough to shock both him and you.

"I'm sorry!" You saw his wide eyes and wondered if it was a good time to have even done that.

Sunghoon melted into an expression of adoration, a wide smile etched on his lips, as if in both disbelief and relief that you kissed him. "Don't be sorry," he stepped closer, only an inch measured the distance between you and him. The space became smaller when he leaned down, eyes flickering down to your lips. "Can I?"

Was this happening? "Yeah,"

Sunghoon didn't waste any moment in meeting your lips with his. It was natural, easy, for you to kiss him just like first instinct. The amount of desperation, sadness, anger and love were poured into the way he kissed you. There wasn't any urgency, but it spoke louder than intended.

It was short, but it was enough to let the both you know the true feelings you harboured for each other. By the time you pulled away from him, you felt his eyes on you, a giggle erupted from you unexpectedly, and he started joining in.

You really looked like a lovesick fool standing under the streetlamp with your lover.

"Do you want to stop by that old spot we used to go to?" Sunghoon suggested, a little shyly this time.

"The one nearby?"

"That one,"

"Let's go then." you nodded, casting him a soft smile.

Sunghoon didn't say much, but his hand did the talking by reaching for yours. He held onto it tightly, intertwining his fingers with yours and swinging your interlocked hands as you walked. He might've not said much, but you could tell how he felt.

Feelings might be complicated, and making amends with the history behind a broken relationship was equally challenging, but what mattered most was getting back with the one who you called your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog @eleanorheartschishiya @nanabbg @letwiiparkjay @teddywonss @classicroyalty @run2x @yannnnaj @jakesfurry @gyuwooboozle @nylajp24 @usedto-me @vernonburger

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11vr1 · 1 year

Text

Still Yours ⭒ Miles Morales

Part one: Been Away

Synopsis › You’re still his. You just need a little reminder.

Pairing › Earth-42! Miles Morales x Reader

Inspo › “Still Yours (feat. Big Sean)” - Bryson Tiller, Big Sean

Includes › ATSV SPOILERS, angst, fluff, swearing, Spanish, toxicity, going back to your ex, man has a staring problem, stalking, mentions of violence, manhandling i think?, kissing, terrible grammar, maybe some continuity errors (don’t think about it too hard)

P.S. › I had to write this part on my phone because my house has no wi-fi. Forgive me.

You were a vision as your head threw back in laughter at something your friend said. Absolute perfection in the way your uniform fits in all the right places and the gentle swoop of your edges framing your glowing skin in the harsh fluorescent lighting. It was aggravating. “When did she get that?” Miles’ rich eyes narrowed at you and your group of friends.

His best friend looked up from his phone in your direction. He didn’t need to ask who she was. “Get what?” he sighed, already sensing where this conversation was headed.

“Her lipgloss.” He tilted his head. “It’s Fenty.”

Ganke couldn’t remember when Miles became a makeup enthusiast, but he knew he was a Y/n expert. “And how do you know that?” he asked in disbelief. Their lunch periods had turned into a sort of Y/n watching session since your mysterious separation. He was over it and tired of watching his friend not-so-subtly stare at his not-ex-girlfriend. It was sad and getting a little creepy.

“It’s her favorite brand, but the shade’s darker. She’s never worn it before.” Miles’ food was left untouched, too preoccupied with the sight of you. You must’ve been doing this on purpose, he thought. Sitting directly in his eye line with your annoying ass group of friends. And Drew Harris, Brooklyn Vision’s resident dickhead jock, sat a little too close to you.

Ganke shrugged, turning back to his game. “I don’t know, man. It looks like the one she always wears.”

Miles tore his gaze away to face Ganke. His eyes hardened to an icy glare. “Why do you know what color she usually wears?”

“Chill, dude,” he rolled his eyes. “This break up is actually making you go insane.”

“We didn’t break up,” he snapped, but who was he fooling? Ganke was spot on. Miles was increasingly on edge, waiting. He’d texted and called multiple times since last weekend when finally spoke to you for the first time in weeks. But you didn’t respond or pick up. At this rate you were going to block him…again. Just when he thought everything was piecing itself back together, you slipped away out of his reach.

Ganke stood up with his trash. He had better things to do than watch his best friend run himself to the ground over a girl who obviously wanted nothing to do with him. “Broken up or taking a break, either way you’re miserable. You need to figure your shit out or move on before you burn a hole in the side of her head.”

Miles waved him off, not showing his words struck a chord. Moving on wasn’t an option. You were on his mind twenty four hours a day, seven days a week without fail. The thought of you waiting for him safe and sound kept him alive while he committed every crime in the book. Everything he did was for you, to keep you protected in this twisted city. Nothing was going to ruin his forever, not even you.

⋆

“Why not Drew?” Ellie suddenly asked while they walked the halls away from the cafeteria. You could tell she was enjoying having you back with their friends. “He’s all over you. You guys would be perfect,” she gushed, practically skipping across the tile.

You gave her a stern look, “Ellie.” You hated to burst her bubble, but she was too eager for you to be single. “I’m not interested in Drew Harris.”

“Okay, picky,” she hummed in thought for a moment. “Erik Falls? He’s on the basketball team and I heard he thinks you’re gorgeous,” she tried again. You stopped at Ellie’s locker. You weren’t going to ask where she heard such a rumor or why it seemed she had a mental list of the single male population.

You shook your head. A new relationship was the last thing on your mind. Miles was it for you, the one who made your heart sing, the man who made you believe you could be loved like in the stories. No one could compare, especially not a couple of immature jocks who would eventually become mere blimps in the timeline of your life. If only there wasn't a plot twist. “Despite what you think, I am more than happy being single. A new man is not on my list of priorities.”

“If you say so. You’ve just been so down since…” Ellie’s wide eyes briefly glanced over your shoulder. “I thought you and Miles weren’t together anymore?” her voice lowered to a sharp whisper.

Your response stalled, caught off guard by the question. Did Ellie know you and Miles had spoken? You didn’t want to imagine what kind of hell would be unleashed if she found out. “Of course not,” you forced a laugh. “Why?”

“Don’t look, but he’s at your locker!” she scowled, tossing her books back into her locker. “Don’t worry, girl. I got this.” Ellie pulled the earrings from her lobes along with her stack of bracelets, mumbling something about the “little creep.” She never hid her distaste for Miles, the two bumping heads more than once the duration of your relationship.

Against your better judgment, you looked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. Miles Morales leaned against your locker like he owned it. With his shirt untucked and tie loosened, he never failed to make the butterflies in your stomach flutter.

You stopped her before she stalked off in a fury. “Hold on, let me talk to him. I’m sure it’s nothing.” You didn’t even sound convincing to yourself.

Ellie drummed her fingers, lips pursed as she looked between you and the boy over your shoulder, skepticism written all over her face. “Fine, go ahead, Y/n. But I swear if he tries anything, I’m coming for his ass,” she pointed, making sure to shoot him a steely glower.

“I’ll be alright,” you assured her, already walking away.

You finally approached Miles, rolling your eyes at the enigmatic smirk on his lips. “You ignoring me, ma?” He asked, his gaze never leaving your face as you fiddled with the combination on your locker. “I thought we was good.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you, Miles. I just…” you struggled to explain without sounding like you were in fact avoiding him. Did he really think cornering you in an alley would fix everything? “I still needed a bit of space.”

He was clearly unsatisfied, but held his tongue. Instead he nodded his head. “Let’s take a walk, princesa.”

“I can’t,” you stuttered out, unable to trust yourself around Miles. Ignoring his messages took everything in you, so used to spending hours of your day spamming him with the most trivial things when you weren’t together.

“Yes you can. You have a free period.” Of course he had your schedule memorized. Nothing could get past Miles. He entwined your fingers in his, enveloping you with the rough calluses of his palms and dragging you through the halls without care for the curious stares directed your way.

The usual commotion of the city hit your ears as Miles swung open the rooftop door. Fond memories of your favorite meet up spot came flooding back, the late nights Miles would help you study for a Spanish test or when he simply wanted to sit in silence and bask in your presence. You’d fallen in love here over and over again, the stars and city skyline your only witness.

Miles had yet to release you from his hold, savoring your touch after being starved for so long.

He wasn’t going to let you go, not when you were finally where you belonged. “We need to talk.”

“We’re talking now, aren’t we?” No one wanted to hear those dreaded four words.

Your attempt at humor was not appreciated. His grip squeezed your hands in a gentle, but firm warning. “I’m done playin’ your little games, mami. This back and forth shit ain’t gon’ work. I need you to be straight with me.”

The impending weight of the conversation began to settle on your shoulders. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Miles. That I’m totally fine with you being the Prowler and everything can go back to normal?” You avoided his gaze, choosing the cerulean sky knowing his gaze could pull whatever he wanted from you if you dared to stare too long. “You lied to me for the better part of our relationship. Where you go, what you’re doing, who you are and if you’re okay, like really okay. I can’t trust you!”

Too much had been broken for you to go back. And you tried! Lord knows you fucking tried. You hid your tears when Miles missed a date, coming up with some lame excuse. Or the days he’d return and couldn’t bear to look you in the eye. Your mind turned to the worst. Doubt festered where trust should have been. But you held on just as fast as Miles held onto you now.

Now you know the reality and it scared you more than any possibility you came up with.

Miles listened to the cracks in your pretty voice, seeing the damage he caused. He never hated himself more. Ripping out throats and cracking skulls he could stand, but the sight of those crystal tears nearly broke him. “Mi corazón...” A large pad tenderly wiped a droplet from the smoothness of your cheeks. “Lo siento.”

“Say what you have to say, Morales. You can’t keep wasting my time.” You forced yourselves apart to furiously rid the traitorous tears. He didn’t deserve them.

“‘A waste of time?’” he repeated incredulously. Miles grabbed your left wrist, tugging down the sleeves of your navy blazer to reveal the golden bracelet you wore and its various charms. The cursive “M” dangled in your face, mocking you and your devotion to him. “Is that what this is?” He fished the delicate chain from beneath his own uniform where he wore your name closest to his heart. “Are you done with me? Was all this pointless to you, Y/n?” he nearly shouted, doing his best to keep what little composure he had left.

The answer had never been more simple. “No, of course not,” you said. “I don’t regret loving you. I just can’t keep loving half of you when you already have all of me.”

Shock filled the silence between you. “You love me?”

“Yes, dumbass!” You pushed against his chest. He didn’t budge, too stunned to breathe properly. “I know you won’t say it back but I don’t care. You should already know.”

Miles cradled your head and leaned down, your noses touching, sharing the same air. “Say it again,” he ghosted your lips.

Your knees weakened, his heat creating a haze of solely him in your mind. You studied the gentle contours of his face, the fullness of his lips, the healed scar on the edge of his right brow, someone only as close as you could see. An inch was all you needed to think, but you were snatched back. “Miles,” you gasped in surprise, steadying yourself in his arms. Through layers of fabric, you felt the rapid rhythm of Miles' heart and you were positive he could feel yours.

“Dilo de nuevo,” he commanded, pressing your body against his in a vice and yet you were still too far. “Por favor, para mi.”

“I love you,” you began, but Miles cut you off as he eradicated the damned space between you. Your mouth parted, the taste of spice and uniquely him familiar, like loving Miles was a reflex you’d always succumb to.

You relented to your need to breathe, still cradling Miles’ face in your hands. “Te amo también, mi corazón.” You never thought he would return the words and you’ve never been happier to be wrong. “Let me do it right this time. Be mine again. No more secrets, no more lies. Prometo.”

One chance was all Miles needed to gain access to your heart. You should have kept his number blocked, called the police like you threatened to do, but his determination was endless. He wanted you and here you were in his embrace saying, “I’ll always be yours, Miles.” You reached on your toes to steal another kiss, consuming as much of him as you desired. The pink of his tongue peeked out as he licked the sticky glitter from his lips. You moved to wipe the remaining gloss about to apologize before he took your mouth again, his teeth teasing the delicate skin.

“It is new.”

#iivri writes ˚·⊹ ⟢˖∿#Spotify #marvel #spider man: across the spider verse #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x reader #prowler miles #earth 42 miles morales x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman fluff #spiderman #fanfic #angst #fluff

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supernovafics · 8 months

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 2.7k words

summary: in which a moment at a party that led to a drunken kiss and a heartfelt admission pushes you and your best friend away from each other. after nearly a week of silence, it’s still hard to find the right words to say to steve and to find the right way to mend what feels as if it has been permanently broken. until you’re drunk at a bar and he is the one to come and get you.

warnings: bestfriend!steve, explicit language, underage alcohol consumption, angst with a happy ending<33

author’s note: this was sitting in the drafts for a veryvery long time and i’ve finally decided to let it see the light of day🫶🏾 (full “folklore” album series masterlist here)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“i didn't know if you'd care if i came back, i have a lot of regrets about that.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The bar was comforting in a weird kind of way.

It was pretty dark and empty for the most part, which partly made sense since it was ten o’clock on a random Wednesday night. You didn’t mind the music softly playing and the stool you were sitting on actually felt comfortable, or maybe it was the alcohol making you believe that.

Somehow even with the number of drinks you’d had in the past hour, it still didn’t manage to effectively push your thoughts far away from Steve and what happened at Robin’s birthday party.

You couldn’t not think about the kiss with him, which you had abruptly and drunkenly initiated; it was a kiss that felt simultaneously wrong and right. And his words that followed the kiss played on what felt like an endless loop in your mind too.

“I’ve wanted this, I’ve wanted us, for practically forever. Ever since that moment our mom’s forced us to meet at that county fair thing when we were ten, I think I knew it was you.”

It was hard to think about what you did in response to that, but still the quick, “I’m sorry, I can’t,” you managed to stutter out before basically running away from him played on equal loop in your head.

The two of you hadn’t spoken since that Saturday night, with you returning back to your college that was two hours away from Hawkins early the next morning. And you were unsure if it was you leading this dance or if both of you were equally avoiding each other because the phone calls that would happen practically daily were reduced to nothing. It had barely been a week, but it was long enough for everything in your life to feel shifted; to feel a little emptier.

“You look like you need to talk to someone,” The bartender, a woman who you were certain couldn’t be older than thirty, said as she slid you the latest drink you’d ordered.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just…” You trailed off with a small sigh before taking a sip from the cold glass. “I did something stupid this past weekend and I regret it, but I also think it might have been the right thing to do.” You were unsure if you were referring to the kissing Steve part or the running away from him part. “I don’t know, I just wish that entire night hadn’t happened, actually.”

You knew that it wasn’t solely your inebriation that made your words seem as if they didn’t make any sense, because everything going through your head was so damn confusing even when you were completely sober. None of it, the emotions you were feeling or the situation itself, fully made sense to you and you forced yourself to not think about any of it by solely consuming yourself with your schoolwork for the last few days. And when doing that was no longer enough to silence your thoughts, you decided to come to this bar.

It was dumb and probably only making things worse, you knew that, but it also felt so much easier.

“Okay,” The woman said. “Can I have a lot more context?”

You were unsure why you had the immediate urge to tell her everything. Maybe it was the alcohol, or perhaps because it was just always so easy for anyone to pour their heart out to a stranger.

“My friend— my best friend, we’ve known each other since we were ten— me and him were at a party. It was actually our other friend’s birthday and she just turned eighteen, so of course, we had to make it a huge thing for her, and we did it at Steve’s house; my best friend, that’s his name. Anyway, it’s about two hours into the party and we’re all pretty drunk. Me and Steve are in his backyard sitting on one of his old patio chairs, and then I don’t know why, I blame it on my drunkenness and how close we were in that moment, but I kissed him. I pulled away almost immediately, but then he said that he has wanted this, wanted us, to happen for so long, and I didn’t know what to say to any of that. So, I just mumbled out a stupid “I’m sorry,” and then left.”

You had barely taken a breath as you spoke, spitting out what happened that night in one rushed go. Finally saying all of it out loud— recounting the story in pretty much its entirety— made you feel a little better. Everything was still a complete mess, but you felt like you could breathe the tiniest bit easier.

“Why did you leave?”

A part of you expected her to ask that question, and at this point, you should’ve had an answer to it that felt certain, but you didn’t.

“It just… It felt like the right thing to do, I think.”

The thought of anything more happening with Steve hadn’t ever crossed your mind, at least not consciously, and even now you still refused to think more about it. Because it wasn't just about Steve. You didn’t want anything more with anyone; you didn’t want feelings, a relationship, any of it.

It wasn’t that you hated love or the thought of it, it was more so that you had been burned because of it so many times that you refused to fall into it so easily again. Falling for boys that you thought actually liked you only to be proven wrong and left heartbroken.

“I get it,” The bartender ultimately said, her voice soft. “You guys have been friends for practically forever and if you started dating and then broke up it would probably change everything between you two.”

We would never break up.

The thought hit you so abruptly that it actually managed to surprise you.

The woman looked at you, confused. “Okay… So, then what’s the problem?”

“What?”

“You said that you and him would never break up, so what’s the problem?”

You hadn’t realized you said the thought out loud, and you couldn’t even feel embarrassed about accidentally saying it because all you could think about was how completely true it was. You and Steve would work so well together, you pretty much already did. You knew the ins and outs of each other; everything little that was annoying but also so endearing. It was what you loved about him— as a friend and as more.

But still, it was so fucking hard to admit that out loud, and you wanted to forget about the entire realization.

“I– I don’t know,” You finally answered before folding your arms against the countertop and then putting your head down. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that that action would be enough to will away the tears that you could now feel threatening to spill out.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and i ended up here. pouring out my heart to a stranger.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Hey, you okay?”

The voice was soft and immediately comforting and oh so familiar. It was enough to put a smile on your face, but your head was starting to pound so you couldn’t bear to do anything but groan.

You lifted your head and mumbled out a soft, “Steve?”

You only vaguely remembered the bartender, whose name you eventually learned was Chelsea, asking for a phone number of someone that could pick you up. And although you should’ve given her your roommate’s number, you instead gave her Steve’s.

“I never thought I’d be the one picking you up from a bar,” Steve said as he sat down next to you. “I always thought it would be the other way around.”

“Y’know what they say about college, it changes people,” You told him with a nonchalant shrug. The two of you hadn’t talked in days, but it still felt like second nature to fall back into the joking cadence you had with him. “I’m a total badass now.”

Steve laughed a bit and looked at you amusingly. “Mhm, yeah, sure you are.”

You weren’t as drunk anymore but you were entering the early stages of a hangover that would be a bitch, and you already knew that there was no way you’d be going to your eleven o’clock Statistics class.

“I can’t believe you drove two hours to pick me up,” You said as you settled yourself in the passenger seat of Steve’s car after you paid your pricey tab and goodbyes were said to Chelsea.

Steve offered you a small smile. “What else are best friends for?”

You couldn’t help but look away from him as you mumbled out a soft, “I didn’t know we were still that.”

“We’ll always be that.”

There was so much certainty in his voice that it actually managed to soothe something inside of you. Only for a second, though, because then you were back in your head again.

The drive back to your dorm was quiet with only the soft sounds of the radio to fill the silence. It was a short ride, only about ten minutes, and the entire time you could only focus on your dull headache and what you wanted to say to Steve because you knew that you had to say something. Although you didn’t want to, that night needed to finally be talked about.

When he was parked in front of your building, you still didn’t know exactly what to say, but you decided to start with something. “Listen, about Robin’s party–”

“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it. Let’s just pretend it never happened,” Steve interrupted you. He pushed a hand through his hair and then met your gaze. “It was really dumb of me to say all of that stuff, and I partially blame it on all the drinks we had— definitely way too many. We’re just friends, I know that. And your life is here now, for the most part, and mine is back in Hawkins, so yeah…” He trailed off with a small shrug.

You suddenly felt nauseous and you knew it had nothing to do with the alcohol. He was saying everything that you fully thought you wanted to hear— what happened at the party should’ve never happened, you two were just friends— so why did it feel so wrong?

Things became quiet and Steve was looking at you expectantly, and you were unsure how long you’d been silent for.

“Um, yeah, exactly,” You finally said as you unbuckled your seatbelt. Before you opened the passenger door to leave his car, you reached over and pulled Steve in for a hug. “Drive safe.”

“Thanks,” He said as his arms circled around you.

For some reason, there was a huge part of you that wanted to say “I’m sorry” in that moment, but you didn’t entirely know why, so instead you said nothing and simply got out of his car.

You headed to the entrance of your dorm building and then turned around, giving Steve a final wave before he drove away.

It was then— as he headed down the street and after a few moments his car became completely out of your view— that you wished you’d been honest; with yourself and with him.

Because it was in that moment of you yearning for him to turn around mixed with you sincerely wanting to go after him that essentially sealed it for you.

Steve was different and he always would be.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and maybe i don't quite know what to say, but i'm here in your doorway.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You felt slightly lucky that you only had two classes on Thursdays because when you woke up after sleeping through your Statistics class, you knew that you wouldn’t be going to your Psychology class that started at three. And the reasoning actually had nothing to do with your hangover.

Aside from the slight headache, you woke up with your mind feeling completely clear for the first time in a long time. You knew exactly what you wanted and what you wanted to do, and before that feeling could go away, or you could convince yourself to push it away, you were in your car an hour before your class was supposed to start and driving to Hawkins. You were pretty much running off of impulse and hope.

The weather was terrible and you hated driving in the rain, but it didn’t matter to you right then because you needed to see Steve.

You had two long hours of driving in terrible rain to figure out what exactly you wanted to say to him, yet you still couldn’t form a coherent set of sentences in your head. But, similar to the rain, that didn’t stop you from ringing his doorbell.

In hindsight, it probably would’ve been smart to bring an umbrella because it was still pouring and from the short walk from your car to his front door, your clothes managed to become effectively soaked, but it didn’t bother you.

“Hey,” He said when he opened the door, it was easy to tell that he was surprised to see you. “Did you drive all the way here?”

You quickly nodded at his question. “Yes.”

“You hate driving in rain.”

“Yeah, but I… I just really wanted to talk to you, and didn’t wanna do it over the phone.”

“Come inside,” Steve said, pushing the door open wider so that you could step in.

You almost followed him but then stopped. “No, wait… I kinda just wanna say this here.”

Steve looked at you confused, but ultimately nodded. “Okay.” He then stepped out of his house and closed the door behind him; his clothes immediately got wet. “It feels wrong that you’re the only one getting hit by the rain.”

You laughed a bit. “Thank you. That’s very considerate.”

Things got quiet for a second and you suddenly felt nervous, but you pushed that feeling to the side.

“I know you said that we don’t need to talk about the party and we should pretend that it never happened. And although that’s exactly what I’d been doing for the past few days, I don’t wanna do that anymore.” It actually didn’t feel too hard to let all of this out; verbalizing exactly what had been going on in your head. In a way, it felt like a relief. “I think I kissed you that night because deep down I know that it’s you too. And that it’s always been you… Which is actually so scary to think about because we’ve known each other for so long and you’re the one person in my life that has been the biggest constant. You’ve seen every part of my very horrific love life and I don’t want us to end up like any of the stupid relationships I had before, and I think that’s why I ran away that night, which I do really regret.” You pulled your eyes away from his for a second. “But, what we have is different, and I want to try. I want us to try.”

You let out a long breath. “Okay, that’s it.”

Steve didn’t say anything for a few moments, and it was then that you realized how loud the rain was, and somehow it was actually a bit calming to hear the sounds of the heavy drops hitting the ground.

You searched his eyes to see if you could decipher what he was thinking, but before you could get a clear read on anything, he was closing the small bit of distance between you both and reaching up to cup your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you.

The abruptness of the action slightly startled you, but you were completely okay with this nonverbal response to you pouring your heart out. You were kissing him back almost immediately and suddenly the sound of the rain was gone and instead all you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

The kiss felt perfectly new but also so insanely familiar; even though this was the first time this was happening sober. And so many things were running through your mind, but it was also effectively blank and you knew you wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence even if you tried.

Most of all, though, everything happening right then— the way your hands fisted themselves in his rain soaked t-shirt to pull him impossibly closer to you, and how his thumb stroked your cheek so tenderly— it all felt so certain and sure and right; there wasn’t an ounce of doubt lingering in the air around you both or lacing its way within the kiss.

When you pulled away to catch your breath and smiled up at him, a smile that Steve immediately matched with an elated grin of his own, it slightly killed you that all of this hadn't happened sooner.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

��i just wanted you to know that this is me trying.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fluff #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington

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99thpercentile · 8 months

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I get the feeling that I'm in the minority here, but I posit that GLaDOS actually is Caroline, and only "not the same person" in the sense that you'd look at your younger self and be like "that bitch ain't me." I think you actually have to go out of your way to interpret them as two separate people.

evidence:

voiced by the same person (I know the initial reasoning was that Valve didn't want to hire another voice actor for a few lines, but in casting Ellen McLain as Caroline, they incorporated her being the same person into the story).

GLaDOS automatically joins in saying "Yes sir, Mister Johnson" like saying it is permanently ingrained in her. you can interpret this as Caroline taking over, but she says "Why did I just—" immediately afterwards.

when GLaDOS talks about hearing the voice of a conscience, she says "for the first time it's MY voice." I don't think she means that she's hearing the woman she gets her literal voice from. she highlights it as distinctly DIFFERENT from hearing the voices of the cores, and I imagine if Caroline were a foreign entity whispering in her ear, the effect would've been much the same.

the GLaDOS project was originally started because Cave was dying and wanted his consciousness uploaded to a computer. the intent was always for the upload to be the same person. he said if he died first, he wanted Caroline to run the place, to be put in his computer. and that's exactly what happened.

GLaDOS not remembering she's Caroline until old Aperture always made sense to me as the result of a deliberate choice on the part of the scientists. Caroline didn't want to be uploaded, and as soon as they switched GLaDOS on, she tried to kill everyone. it's logical for the scientists to think that if they suppressed her memories, she'd have no reason to try to kill them (but instead, she was just filled with murderous rage and no longer knew why).

the story just doesn't have the same impact otherwise. GLaDOS's reactions to rediscovering old Aperture make more sense if it's her past she's rediscovering, rather than the past of...a human that was shoved into the chassis with her. if it were the second one, I think she would just feel violated, not have any major revelations.

counter-evidence:

"now little Caroline is in here too" lyric from Want You Gone

GLaDOS says she found out "where Caroline lives in [her] brain" and deleted her, like she's a separate entity

but GLaDOS is a habitual liar. she acts like deleting Caroline means she's fully back to her old self and has gotten rid of the part of her that made her want to save Chell's life, but there's...lots of evidence that she still cares about Chell after the fact (letting her go anyway, the companion cube, the turret opera if you think GLaDOS arranged that, talking to the co-op bots about Chell like she's an ex she's still heartbroken over...). I also think GLaDOS would like to imagine her and Caroline as two separate entities, in the same way you might find your younger self embarrassing and want to distance yourself from that person. I think it's notable that both instances where she refers to Caroline as a separate entity are at the end of the game, after Chell has been passed out a while and she's had time to process everything and compartmentalize. her instinct when the revelations are first happening is to refer to Caroline as if she is her.

now I don't like stories where a robot has to become or be seen as more human in some way for them to be sympathetic. but I think Portal 2 is an excellent subversion of this trope, because GLaDOS is a robot that learns she used to be human and then discards that humanity (symbolically if not literally). Caroline may not have wanted to be uploaded, but from the Want You Gone lyrics "one day they woke me up / so I could live forever / it's such a shame the same will never happen to you" I think we can say that GLaDOS definitely prefers being a robot now that she is one.

anyway this post was supposed to be much shorter than this, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#GLaDOS #Caroline #Portal #Portal 2 #original #wall of text

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 2 months

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To continue riffing on the marriage/tradition stuff because that’s one of the themes I’m obsessed with in her discography, it’s fascinating because it would be easy to reduce it to, “she’s adhering to patriarchal societal norms in chasing the traditional nuclear family and that’s why she throws herself into these relationships,” but it’s just so reductive to well, how human beings exist in the world. Just because it’s a societal pressure doesn’t mean some people don’t genuinely want to get married or have families.

Yes, she’s been singing about it right back to her first album when she as 16. Yes, her view on it has evolved, from marrying the sweet neighbor boy to the princess fairytale early on (debut/fearless), to the disillusionment that increasingly pushed it out of the narrative (speak now/red/1989), to slowly letting herself believe in forever again (rep), to seemingly actually committed (lover), to questioning what that means (folklore/evermore) to trying to reconcile what it means for her current life (midnights). Every relationship she experienced throughout those periods informed those views and how *she* pursued it.

I think what makes it so interesting on TTPD is that it is EVERYWHERE, as I mentioned in my previous post about it. And it’s unsettling because it’s not just in the setting we expect it to be — e.g. a long term partner she’d previously indicated she was ready to marry — but also in songs about a man who swooped in to save her when she was low only to break her apart, in thinly-veiled fantasies about strange bedfellow neighbours, another thinly-veiled story about marrying the person you want consequences be damned, in taunting your on again/off again partner in a bar (e.g. i want to smash your bike or be your wife).

And it’d be easy to chalk it up to, well she’s in her 30s and the clock is ticking, she’s just obsessive! And there’s a nugget there about women and their bodies and both the lauding and weaponization thereof and everything that personally I’m dying to talk about at some point. But when it comes down to it, I’m willing to bet that the reason why it’s everywhere is because THAT WAS HER LIFE. That was the plan she’d taken for granted for so long — and I don’t just mean in a general sense as a girl in the world — but in the very real, very tangible way she was living her life and in the circumstances that led to what would be written about in TTPD. By working out all these scenarios through her songs (and tbh in whatever she was doing IRL that inspired them), she was grappling with and grieving the loss of the life she thought was ahead of her. We’ve talked about how pervasive grief has been on her recent albums, in all kinds of forms, and I think this is kind of the culmination of all of those worries.

She’s not the girl with the paper ring and all’s well did not end well to end up with him. She’s not the girl who has his midnights after cleaning up bottles on New Year’s Day. She couldn’t give him her wild or a child because it wasn’t enough. She may have even been the self-fulfilling prophecy of the girl who is fucked in the head, but feels more like the one left out on the landing.

So in TTPD, she is all of these things. She’s the neglected wife whose husband cheats on her so she runs off with an old flame. She’s the one who gets the jewel on her ring finger and talks about babies because he says it’s love. She’s the woman whose partner once made a promise but never followed through. She’s the hell-raiser who follows love in a different kind of getaway car while the town calls her mad, consequences be damned, but joke’s on them because she gets the wedding in the end anyway. She’s the wife who feeds her cheating husband to the swamps of Florida. She gets swept off her feet by an old flame to run down the aisle. SHE’S the one who gets to decide if she’s gonna marry him or decimate him (be his wife or smash his bike). She’s the girl who didn’t become the wife while she watches the one that got away marry his. She’s the woman scorned who has to call the whole thing off. She’s the saucy girl who bets her new lover is gonna marry her for real. She’s sold off as chattel to the highest bidder in an arranged marriage. She’s the young girl starry-eyed with the dreams she grew up with only to have them go up in flames, leaving only her pen behind to turn it into art.

She navigates all these scenarios because in the end, she isn’t any of them and she is all of them. She’s mourning what she gave up, mourning what she’s already lost, mourning the time she feels she wasted and could have started over. She’s mourning any number of women she could have been if she’d just tried something else, but also mourning that ultimately much of this was out of her hands. She’s grappling with a past that can’t change and a future that doesn’t exist. Every one of these scenarios is a way her life could have gone with any number of different decisions, but in the end, none of that matters, because she is who she is and what happened happened.

Obviously there’s a lot more going on in the album; she’s not just processing the end of relationships, she’s processing her fame and career and health and harassment and trauma and struggles and misogyny and any number of things in frankly shocking ways. But, I think there’s also no denying that this very important thing — the step many young adults expect to take in their lives — precipitated a whole lot of what went on, and may have even had a domino effect on all the other issues explored. It’s raw and vulnerable and ugly and funny and human.

Anyway apparently I’m back and thinking.

#maybe i should not sleep more often #the tortured poets department #writing letters addressed to the fire

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nyuuronfly · 8 months

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On Rain World lore and it's implementation within the game.

This is kindof a random ramble I went on in a Discord chat and just feel like sharing elsewhere. (also note this is all primarily in reference to the original game, Survivor's story.)

I honestly think too many miss the forest for the trees a bit with RW, in terms of how important the lore is, if that makes sense. I talked with somebody about first-time experiences with the game and they said they'd watched a number of lore explanation videos on YT before starting, because of some reason along the lines of "I didn't trust the game to deliver its own story properly." To me this is almost saddening to hear because I really feel that misses the point of why the game has it's lore to begin with.

To me, while playing, any tidbits i learned about history or other information contributed to a feeling like the world I was navigating had a very real history that saturated it, yet one that I would be unable to grasp fully. It is an illusory feeling of realness, given how it is experienced. The game is mechanically not designed to incentivize collecting many information pearls, especially when in the original game you can literally just drop them off a cliff and lose them forever. You get the feeling often like you are bound to never be able to get everything, nor would you even probably want to put in the effort, so the illusion actually stays stronger because of that. Your mind wanders speculating about every little detail, whether intention truly existed behind it or not, because it feels like it did. You learned that it might have. Maintaining that illusion while playing I think is the primary reason they were included, not actually the experience of "knowing" the history. Rain World in general seems to have a thematic fixation on the simple idea that individuals have limited perspectives. Joar Jakobsson has said that one of the core ideas behind Rain World was to recreate the life of a "rat in Manhattan." That is to say, a creature that understands how to find food, hide, and live in a complex man-made structure, that cannot understand it's structuring purpose or why it was built. The very core issue of the iterators, is that the solution to the "great problem" intrinsically has to lie with knowledge that could only be obtained from "the other side." They are corporeal beings trying to know something that pertains to something outside corporeal reality. Yet pursuit of knowledge is very important to creatures like ourselves. Collecting any individual pearl is mostly an exercise in doing a lot just for little bits of knowledge. There is a lot of understanding of just how significant wanting to know more is, even something unimportant, when you are left in the dark the way you are in the game. Most information pearls you deliver are literally completely useless to know about, but they feel personally important, especially in how finding them relates to your connection to the iterators. My primary motivation to find pearls in my first play was to spend more time with Moon. On a very real emotional level, Moon felt like my only friend in the world while I played. On a mechanical level, she does literally nothing. But Rain World manages to operate on a very emotional, even instinctual level with how it's designed. I wanted to be in her company and have something to give her. Because I am alone, and lost. So something along those lines is why I felt saddened to hear the sentiment like Rain World somehow "fails" to deliver it's "story." The purpose of the game is not to find pearls and hear about some grand narrative. At it's core, Rain World is a game that's design was inspired by nature, and it's use of history within the world relates to us as a player the way history relates to us as people. It is relayed through people reading from records created by parties with their own perspectives, and connects us abstractly to a sensation that there is more out there than our own lives. That is a feeling you have as a player, and ultimately the true story that Rain World tells is the memories you have playing it. What you did, saw, and felt. The same as how our story is that of our own lives. That is the purpose of the game.

#rain world #just rambling

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pandoraslxna · 7 months

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Sweet like Cherry – Chapter 4

Miles Quaritch x female human reader

Words: 6.2k

Summary: Miles has a secret admirer and apparently, she has a thing for photography.

Warnings: explicit smut, Miles pov, conflicted emotions, dirty talk, praise & degradation, rough oral (m receiving), thigh fucking, begging, virgin reader, obsession, authority kink, power play, corruption kink, brief mentions of blood from biting, (angst?)

Notes: this took me forever and idek if I like it or not🧍🏻‍♀️

Good has always pined for evil.

Ironic, because Quaritch knows what being good meant. Or, what being a good soldier meant. He couldn't tell when exactly this happened, but the knowledge came and stayed. He killed people. Of course, when there's an attack you fight back. He killed people on command, too. Sure, there are superiors who sit higher and see farther and they get the whole picture, so no command is mindless or unjustified.

Being a good soldier meant turning your common sense the fuck off, and following commands not doubting it for a second. Not thinking about why you attack instead of fighting back, or what is the reasoning behind missions involving sudden and bloody invasions. At one point, he also became said superior himself. Gave the commands to kill. Had blood on his hands without staining them, because those weren’t actually his hands that did it.

A good soldier is a thoughtless machine, and there is some fucked up irony in not using actual machines instead of human sources in military, he thinks. They want you to be a robot, but they need you to be a human. Or whatever is close to a human. Funny, now that he thinks about it.

He didn't think that working for Ardmore was much better or more sensible than being in the U.S. Army, or even working for Parker. The only difference was wielding more information. Not that he was sure that she shared everything she knew.

So in the end, he’s a good soldier, but that ultimately makes him a bad person. Not if you would ask him, no, there’s not even a spark of regret inside him. But to people like you, to you he must’ve been the devil himself.

And you know how that saying goes? Opposite attracts. And now Quaritch wonders, what does that make you? His antithesis in every way? Yes and no.

Because, turns out, sweet Cherry is everything Miles parents had tried to condition him to want in a person when he was young. A good person.

You’re driven to succeed, he thinks, every time he so coincidentally walks past the labs and you’re there, always working, day and night it seems, not so different from himself. You’re clean, he muses whenever he sees you in ironed clothes, seams sharp and not a hair out of place. You’re polite, he's reminded every time you drop "sir" and "ma'am" like it's second nature to you. You’re overly respectful, he realizes, always watching the way your spine straightens and gaze drops to your shoes whenever a person of authority steps into your space. And you’re pure, he knows it, innocent enough that his strictly christian mother would’ve approved of you, and yet, behind that façade, you’re not so innocent as it seems. So much so, that his father would’ve given him a proud clasp on the shoulder, murmuring something inappropriate while handing him a beer that would remind him why he’s never bought any women home to meet his parents. You care for others, for your environment. You’re empathic. And you’re good, in any way that matters.

And he hates it.

He hates the fact you’re everything he wants in a person, when he really shouldn’t. Because Miles fucking Quaritch, fifthy years of age, should not fool around with such a young little thing in her twenties, fragile like porcelain and pure like a flower that grew under a glass dome. Too naïve to even realize what you’re getting yourself into. It’s not like Miles has ever cared about the wrongs and rights in life, let alone what’s morally correct. But there’s something about you that makes him… hesitate.

In the grand scale of how much things in his life had changed recently, the Polaroids were just a detail. But he found himself attached to them like he’s never been attached to anything. Found himself holding the comically small photos in his big, blue hands every night like they’re a treasure.

It still shocks him to think that this is the same woman that he had met around a month ago. Pure little cherry. He scoffs because the thought of your shaking frame, big innocent eyes not able to meet his gaze, while nervously fiddling with your lab coat, is the same one he’s looking at right now on said Polaroids. It’s ridiculous.

Shocks him more that he likes this version of you way more than he would ever openly admit. That he wishes you would’ve captured your rosy cheeks on those photos, the way you blush and tremble and shy away. How you stutter when he makes you nervous. How your breath hitches. Wishes you would include videos next time, of you begging, calling him sir, saying please, please, please may I come? So sweet, it makes his teeth rot.

He wants to watch these soft lips moving as they say all those filthy words, with that tone in your voice like it’s the first time you’ve ever said them out loud.

Staring at those plush thighs as their spread wide open on your bed, Miles realizes he never wanted to dig his teeth into something more. There’s this desire to bite you, to mark you. Somewhere, it didn’t matter, just as long as he could see it. He wants to nip at your inner thigh, or maybe your bottom lip, your throat, your cute little ass. Wants to bite and suck and kiss until it bleeds and then gently, lovingly lick away the blood, simply because he knows you would allow him to do this. Because he likes the taste of you. Because he knows it would undoubtedly make you more wet. Because it would cause your snug little pussy to hug him even tighter.

Lately, these thoughts have become a vicious circle he can’t seem to break out of. Because no matter the scenario that plays in his head, all his thoughts ultimately lead to the image of him sinking his cock into your tight little hole. Something he doubts is even physically possible, starting from the difference in size between you and him. And there’s also this tiny issue, the fact that you’ve never actually done it before. That no one has ever popped your little cherry.

But it’s an ache he has, to pin you down and make you scream his name from the top of your lungs, let all of bridgehead hear who’s pounding your cute human pussy.

And that’s really the problem, isn’t it? You’re a human. Small, tiny, fragile human. And he’s not– not anymore. What a fucked up joke from the universe, huh? Not the price he expected to pay when he signed up for the phoenix program, when he decided to direct his whole life to becoming a damn good soldier.

But there were things that did help to numb that ache, besides staring at your Polaroids, receiving new ones every couple of days to which he jerked off until his cock felt raw and hypersensitive.

Quaritch was working: doing his job, going on missions, working overtime, crawling into Ardmores ass to exchange informations, forcing his mind to block out every other thought, occupy it with what others would describe as an obsession with finding Sully. But also going to the gym and exercising with the Squad until black spots blocked his view.

Though no matter how hard he tried, that ache never really disappeared. So he decided that it was time to finally do something about this, even if it was just a temporary relief that didn’t include his own hands. Not when yours could work perfectly fine, too.

It’s been a while since he had last seen you, Quaritch realizes as he walks past the labs to find them empty.

Considering the time, it’s not unusual to find them empty, so he goes straight to your room. He doesn’t even know why, doesn’t know why it bothers him so much that you’re not opening the door, that he can’t find you in the cafeteria either, why he doesn’t just take a cold shower and go to bed, why he couldn’t sleep even if he tried. Miles doesn’t know why. It’s not like he can just bend you over and truly ruin you, stain your purity forever once he’s found you. Fuck you long and hard and good and let that fire inside him cool off for a good while.

He wants to, yeah sure, but he can’t. And he doesn’t know why it drives him so insane.

Apart from the whole logistics of being almost three times the size of you, Miles has never been one to fuck around with women like you. Women, that don’t know what they’re doing. He doesn’t know why it makes him feel the way it does when you act all shy, trembling limbs and teary eyes when he touches you, greedily asking for more because it feels new and good so you just can’t help but beg for it– for him.

He’s not a teacher for fucks sake, he just wants to fuck. Release some stress. He wants to feel good, get a pretty girl on her knees after a long day at work and then make her ride him like she’s good for nothing else. Miles doesn’t want to show you how it’s done, to waste his time teaching you what most freshly eighteen year olds already know. Not his fault you’re such a social butterfly, sticking your nose into books and studying weird plants and what not, rather than to go out, get drunk and get laid. Fucking hell, who even are you to put such a pressure on him?

But god damn, don’t you look like a tasty little treat, running on that treadmill, with that absolute peach of an ass stuffed into a pair of sport tights that hug your curves just right.

Quaritch can’t help but watch once he’s finally found you. And he has a phenomenal view, leaning against the door frame of the common gym, arms crossed over his chest while his eyes scan you up and down.

Instead of cursing you for not spreading your legs for any other guy to spare him of the misery he was now trapped in, he dedicated his mindspace to mapping out all of the dips and curves of your body. The way your breasts bounced with every step, chest heaving, the flex of your thighs and the sweat beading at your temples.

The distant sound of music reached his ear, as he stood there in the doorway. Your headphones ensuring that no thoughts had any chance to form in your head, drowning out the silence of the gym at night.

With a scoff, Quaritch then finally decides to walk over to you. There’s a prickling feeling under his skin as he approaches you, still oblivious that you weren’t alone anymore, up until to the point where he pulls on the cords of your headphones and the music suddenly stops.

"Didn’t count you as a little gym bunny", he says, grinning. His fangs poke out from under his lip as he watches your eyes widen, immediately hitting the stop button to make the treadmill come to an halt.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me", you pant, clutching your chest. A little overdramatic, he thinks, raising one of his brows at the curse words falling so easily from your lips. He tilts his head slightly, looking directly at you, and you don’t even bother trying not to squirm under his gaze.

"Sorry, sir", you mumble and Quaritch doesn’t know if his eyes were just playing tricks on him, but it almost looked like you were rolling your eyes at him.

"You shouldn’t work out with your music on full blast when you’re all alone", he tells you, his eyes boring into yours like he had any right to tell you what to do. At least it felt like he did. "If I were less than a man, I could’ve taken advantage of that."

His grin widens for a brief second, but then you exhale a dry laugh, and now he’s almost certain you just rolled your eyes at him.

"Sure, I’ll keep that in mind for next time."

Feisty, he remarks, licking his lips. There’s something up with you, you’ve made that much clear. And maybe you’re not so much different from him than he originally thought. You and him, you might as well just be two sides of the same coin.

"What are you doing here in the middle of the night, kid?", Quaritch asks. If you want to act like one, might as well treat you like one. He straightens up, towering over you with his arms crossing over his chest like you owe him an explanation.

"Oh, I usually don’t work out, not like, like you guys. You look like you live here." You cross and uncross your own arms, failing to mimic his confidence stance, instead tugging at the hem of your shirt. "I couldn’t sleep, so i thought i could somehow tire me out." You shrug.

"Tire yourself out, huh?" Now that piques his interest, a half smirk tugging on his lips. "You know, I came here looking for you for the exact same reason."

The way you bite your lip and advert your gaze tells him more than words ever could. His tail sways in anticipation, feeling like a cat that just trapped a helpless little mouse. Miles leans forward slightly, lips close to your ear now before he whispers lowly, "You look pretty fucking good in these gym thighs, cherry."

Quaritch has definitely been fucked with to some degree, but your response freaks him out more than straight-up mockery would, somehow.

"Aha." Oh?

His brows rise. It’s not even a response, it’s just a noise you make. But that little noise holds so much attitude, so many emotions. Quaritch can’t help but scoff. He had to give you that, you really had some nerves for someone who normally couldn’t even get a coherent sentence out when he’s around. And that newly found boldness makes him want to dig his fingers into your hips, make your little cherry tattoo turn into a bruised plump, spin you around and bend you over his knee just how you deserve for that.

"Alright", he exhales, trying to calm his nerves, "you got a lot of pent up frustration for such a little thing, so what’s with that attitude today, huh?"

You look at him like a lost puppy and now he’s the one who wants to roll his eyes, wondering why he even keeps up with this childish bullshit. If you were any other person, Quaritch would’ve loved to show you just how far that disrespectful tone gets you with him. But you’re not just any other person.

"You didn’t…" The words hadn’t even fully left you, and your eyes were already adverting to your shoes and your lips pursed into a thin line. Before you could finish however, Quaritch lets out a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance, already knowing what’s about to come. "Listen, kid", he starts and if you were any close to Na‘vi, avatar, recom or whatever, your ears would’ve pinned back against your head. Instead, your shoulders slump, your whole body language suggesting that you were mentally preparing yourself to get lectured, because you knew the answer to this already.

"I don’t know what you were hoping you would get out of this, but if you’re looking for someone to be your first, that ain’t gon' be me."

His voice had grown a tad louder, accent heavier, and he halfway expected you to flinch or even tear up. Instead, you straighten up. Your hands may be trembling, but you hide it by balling your fists. Pushing out your chest, you gather all confidence that was left in you to snap back, "Why not?"

"Why not?", Quaritch laughs. He laughs because it’s funny, really. Because he can’t believe it, can’t help but wonder where all that is suddenly coming from. He laughs because if he wouldn’t, he would make you regret this. "I already told you. It’s not going to fit."

"What if I—"

"Cherry." It comes out as a warning. Your stance falters for a second, those big, puppy eyes returning to your face where just seconds before was such a fierce expression that it undoubtedly made him want to push you further, see how feisty you could actually get. But at the same time, Miles had just discovered just how easily you could get on his last nerves like this.

"I‘ll prove it. I can take it, just let me—"

A hand grabs at your lower face, thumb pressing into your cheek and four fingers digging into the other side, with his palm closing tight over your mouth and nose, keeping it shut. Quaritch yanks you forward, forces you on your very tiptoes to get your full attention.

"Will you stop acting like a desperate little brat, jesus christ." They were harsh, bitter words, drenched with equal parts lust and anger. They were meant to scare you off, yet you looked anything but scared. You looked aroused. Tempted.

To his surprise, words were muffled against his palm, refusing to keep quiet even with a big, blue hand halfway covering your face.

Rolling his eyes, he allows you to swat his hand away.

"You… You said you also came here to tire yourself out", you say, panting slightly once you’re able to speak and breathe freely. "I‘ll help you."

There it is. That side of you that’s so hidden from the rest of the world, it’s hard to believe it’s coming from the same person.

You see, Miles figured he loves the feeling of two opposites coming together. It causes friction.

His kiss is ravenous, the force of it tilting your body to bend backwards once he had dragged you into the communal showers at the gym. He feels your legs go weak, so his arm around your middle flexes, effectively supporting your weight as he pushes you against the tiled wall. His lips coax yours open with little effort as you're hardly putting up any resistance. The flavor of whatever gum you must’ve chewed a while ago is still rich on your tongue, sweet as ever and he groans into the kiss.

Quaritch explores your mouth determinedly, taking what he believes to be his, and he doesn’t even realize that this is the first time he had put his lips against yours. Long strokes of his tongue against yours, teeth catching your lips in bites, groans and moans caught in one another's mouth and swallowed up. His thumb runs up and down your jaw, occasionally applying pressure to adjust the tilt of your head as he changes the angle of the kiss, feels your hair tickle his forehead. Noses bump and brush, he inhales your scent, groans when it’s just as sweet as you taste.

His kiss is powerful. It commands. Look at me. Touch me. Feel me. Only me. It leads you, your movements, the pace. But yours is soft, pleading and submissive. Obedient.

It drives him to near madness, teetering him on the brink of sanity.

He presses himself harder against you, towers over you like a mountain. Your hands are small, and they claw at his arms, his biceps, his neck. They pull and pull, yet he doesn’t budge, doesn’t move unless he wants to. You make a whiny sort of noise in protest and he grins. His forearm rests against the wall, tiles cool against his burning skin as he watches you with half lidded eyes.

The same red that paints his new favorite fruit taints your cheeks crimson, as you hesitantly lower yourself to your knees.

A pleased rumble left him, and his smirk curled further, hints of too-sharp teeth peeking from behind his lips, "You did that before?" He wonders out loud. There’s a suffocating tightness underneath his briefs that only gets worse once you answer him with a quick shake of your head. No, of course not. He scoffs, equally amused as he is excited.

With trembling fingers and unsteady breath, you move your hands around to unbuckle his belt. Letting it hang open, you move to the button and zipper on the fatigues, a little clumsy as you tried once, twice, three times to get the damned thing open. Miles couldn’t help but chuckle.

You looked even smaller on your knees in front of him, pulling on the waistband of his pants to get his cock out. He could just stand there and watch, torture the little thing by letting her struggle, but his impatience has grown rapidly in those past few minutes so he swats your hands away and pulls his pants down just enough.

You hold your breath, waiting. Watching. The nervous tension makes a shudder run up your spine and he smirks, once you finally catch sight of his cock.

The way your eyes widen makes him remember the first time he had stared at himself in the mirror. The first time he was alone with this new body of his, the mirrored image of what he despised most. Alien, that’s what he looked like. What he must’ve looked like to you. Blue skin and faint purple tip, small bumps and ridges around the crown, littered in those glowing freckles that made him look like a damn toy, was what he had first thought when he saw himself. And there was also his size. The root of this whole situation, the reason neither of you could get what you so desperately wanted.

It’s a lot to take in, literally, and he enjoys the fact that not even a polite woman like you could stop herself from staring at him.

A shaky exhale of air then brushes over his tip, your throat bobbing as you swallow thickly and Quaritch tilts his head and chuckles. "What’s wrong? Where did all that attitude go, hm? I thought you wanted to help me out."

Your hands are still firmly planted on your own thighs, but he sees the subconscious little twitch of your fingertips. They want to move, but you don’t dare just yet.

"It’s- no it’s just, I’m, I—"

"You didn’t thought I was lyin‘, did you? I told you it’s—"

"I know", you cut him off, your cheeks blushing, "I- I know. And I still want to…"

The grin that tugs on his lips his dangerous and his tongue darts out to lick over his pointy canine, while he gives himself a slow tug. A small drop of clear, sticky pre-cum beads at his tip.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go on", he purrs lowly, "Touch me."

You’re hesitant at first, taking his length into your delicate hands. They’re warm and soft and he hums at the touch. You can’t even close your fingers entirely around his girth, but you try your best to give him an experimental stroke, feeling his weight and the texture of his skin.

"C‘mon, Cherry", he tells you, his hand brushing through your hair at the back of your head, before giving you a guiding little push. "Use your mouth. Get it wet for me."

Not so bold now, he thinks to himself as he watches you lick your lips and shuffle a little closer on your knees. Like this, it almost looks like you’re worshiping him. It gets him even harder than he already was before, makes his cock throb, feeds his god complex in just the right way. But then you place your lips against the mushroom-like head of his cock, plants a kiss right there on its slit almost tenderly, and Miles can’t stop the groan from escaping him.

Your big doe eyes are staring up at him, piercing right through his soul, before you give a little kitten lick to his length.

"I said use your mouth, not just your tongue", he says, albeit a little breathlessly. He ain’t got time for any of this practice shit today. You offered to suck his cock, might as well do it right then.

His hips buck forward, the head of his cock nudging against your kiss swollen lips and you part them dutifully. The tip is an easy fit, tight but manageable.

You’re timid at first, barely moving further down, but your tongue is practically dancing against him, so it's not all that bad. "There you go", Quaritch groans, the hand on the back of your head holding you still, makes you take him a little deeper. A little more. Your nostrils flare wide as you struggle to breathe and you close your eyes for a brief moment. Your cheeks hollow inward as you suck him. Just a few inches, and he can already feel some resistance on the back of your throat. It’s tight and you tear up, instinctively pulling away.

He clicks his tongue, but you’re quick to put him back into your mouth, warm wetness enveloping not even half of his throbbing cock once again.

Miles fingers have formed into claws, digging them into his own palm as one arm rests against the wall, the other fisted into your hair. It takes every fiber of will within him not to grab you and just force you down onto his cock, to make you choke on it while he thrusts deep into your throat. He’s filled with the sudden, perverse desire to break you, to stain you, make you as filthy as himself. It’s only fortunate that you can’t see the way his features have twisted through the tears in your eyes, from lazy pleasure into something animalistic.

Your mouth moves slowly over his cock, sloppy and uncoordinated. Barely enough of him fits inside your mouth to bring him pleasure, more than just a teasing swirl of your tongue. There’s drool running down your chin, your jaw opened as wide as possible as you sucked and slurped on his length. But he needed more if you planned to get him off properly, needed you to take him deeper.

The hand that had been brushing through your hair grips tighter, and then he slowly moves your head up and down on his cock, using your throat like you’re his personal little fleshlight. Just a couple of thrusts, merely a few inches more, already have him in the back of your throat, and he feels your muscles constrict around him. Helpless little gags fill his ears, followed by tears running down your cheeks.

The hands that had been clawing at his thighs like he was your lifeline had began to tug on his pants, while you whimpered and whined around his length, signaling him that you needed to come up for air.

"C‘mon Cherry, how are you supposed to take all of me when you can’t even suck me off properly?" His voice is taunting, a low growl as he pulls you off of him with a wet pop. You gasp for air, panting, chest heaving and he allows you a moment to catch your breath, before he pushes you back down. He’s careful not to actually hurt you in the process, but he’s also determined to get more of him inside your mouth.  Either you didn’t hear him, or your were pointedly ignoring him. Regardless, the result is the same. You’re struggling, gagging and whining and he knows you’re trying, but it’s been fifteen minutes and you’re not making any process.

Quaritch tsks, "Yeah, no, that’s not going to work. Get up here."

You make a small sound of protest when he pulls you off of him again, and then yelp in surprise when he grabs your arm and yanks you up to your feet. Miles stares at you for a moment, breathing heavily. Takes notice of your lips, swollen, gleaming with saliva and pre-cum. You look so utterly vulnerable. And that's exactly how he wants you.

His hand still holds your upper arm firmly, and he spins you around so sudden that you had to brace yourself against the wall in order not to fall. There’s a split second in which he ponders if ripping your leggings would be a good idea, considering that he didn’t know if you had any spare clothes with you in the gym. He decides against it, barely able to think logically with all the blood rushing from his head to his cock.

Hooking his thumbs underneath the tight waistband, he drags your pants down quickly, and your underwear with them. A pleasant hum leaves his lips when he finds you soaking wet, tiny hole clenching around nothing, all too eager to be filled. Miles gives a firm slap to your ass that makes you try and fail to stifle a gasp.

"P-Please", you mutter quietly, arching your back some more.

"Don’t get too excited", he leans in to whisper against the shell of your ear, chuckling. "Close your legs." Glancing at him from over your shoulder, there’s a look of utter confusion, mixed with disappointment on your face, yet you comply to his orders without a complain. And the feeling of knowing you would do anything he says, follow every one of his orders despite what you wanted, is simply indescribable to him.

Quaritch doesn’t take it slow now that he has you like this. His cock is still lubed with spit so it’s an easy glide as he positions himself behind you and pushes forward between the soft flesh of your thighs. You gasp, feeling the smooth length of his cock drag against your sensitive folds.

"That’s much better", Miles groans lowly into your ear as he begins to thrust back and forth.

It felt heavenly— the warmth of your skin enveloping his length in the same way a tight pussy would. He could feel your slick covered lips pressed against him, your arousal smearing between your thighs and his cock adding further to the impression of being inside you.

With an increasing pace, he begins to actually fuck the space between your legs. His cock bumps against your clit over and over again, which causes you to moan along to the filthy sound of flesh against flesh.

"Fuuckin‘ hell, that’s it." His hands on your hips had began to pull you back against his thrusts, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to bruise, as he used your body for his own pleasure. More arousal oozes out of you and both of you make a pleasant sound of acknowledgment at that. "Hmm, can feel you dripping all over my cock, cherry. You like it that much when I fuck your thighs, huh?"

"Y-Yes, f-fuck, yes!" His ears perked at the sweet little whine that trickled out of you when he snapped against the back of your thighs just a little harder. There grows a force behind his thrusts, one that makes it hard for you to stay still and let him use you, he can tell. Your legs are trembling, wanton little pleas falling from your parted lips. "Please, I- I need more! Miles, c‘mon…" You push back against, rising to your tip toes in an attempt to catch his tip against your entrance. "Please!"

He could come so easily like that, rocking back and forth, his cock trapped between the plush of your soft thighs, your slickness lubing his length enough to make his movements more fluid. Yet you were nowhere near close to your own release. His touch was just barely enough to keep you on edge, but not enough to get you anywhere. Poor little thing, Miles thinks to himself with a grin he doesn’t even bother to hide.

The sound of his cock sliding between your wet thighs was downright obscene and he could practically feel your neglected clit aching for attention, warmth slowly pooling into the pit of his stomach. And with that, he angles his hips to put more force behind his trusts, his length gliding through your folds, the tip of it pressed snugly against your clit, bumping against the little nub with every stroke.

Pleading mewls soon turn into desperate moans the harder he fucks your thighs. "Mmnh– need you, need you in- inside", you begin to brabble, staring up at him from over your shoulder. "Please, Mil– sir!"

"Christ, cherry", he curses against your neck, letting the heady vibrations of his rumbling growl pierce through your neck, letting you feel his words in the most primal way. Your thighs press together. "Do you ever shut up?"

Miles feels you press back against him weakly, nowhere near strong enough to get him anywhere. "I– I can do it, just let me…"

His annoyed groan is quick to cut you off. Whatever complain bubbled up your throat was shushes with a hand clasped over your mouth before it could even come past your lips. You make a muffled sound against his palm, your eyes continue to plead for him, but he’s determined to keep you just like this.

"Don’t be so goddamn stubborn", he grits out, teeth grazing the lobe of your ear and he feels the way your whole body tense as he bites down on it. "You got a lot of learning to do if you want to be good for your Colonel."

The smack of his hips against your backside makes punched out little huffs of air escape through your nose, and it’s almost adorable.

Meanwhile you could barely form a thought over the constant throbbing between your thighs, the slaps of skin hitting skin, the whining of your body being squeezed under an intense force and hands gripping your hips and keeping your mouth shut. You couldn’t even hear the heavy grunts of the gruff man behind you as he bit the shell of your ear, whispering sweet nothings of how good you felt around him.

Fingers dug deeper into your cheeks and hips, his cock almost rubbing you raw with how fast he fucked your thighs. The cock that still rutted between your silky legs was drenched in slick and Miles felt the way you tried to angle your hips and squeezed your legs to put more pressure on your clit.

Fuck, he was so close he could hardly hold himself back.

"You want to come?", he whispers into your ear. A pleasant shiver runs up your spine that even he could feel. Your response comes as nothing more than a muffled "Mhm! Mhm!" against his palm.

"Will you be a good girl for me now? Stop with all that whining bullshit and be a little grateful for what I do to you?"

"Mhm, mhm!" Your frantic nodding makes him thrust against you harder, and he relishes in the needy sounds you make.

"There you go, sweetheart", he chuckles, "That wasn’t so hard now, was it?"

The heat from his chest begins to pool in the pit of his stomach, coiling together in a painful knot that could only mean one thing. Miles groans against your shoulder, biting particularly hard as his hips start to stutter, the grip on your waist tightening once more, leaving definite blue bruises that wouldn’t leave any time soon.

He then shoves his fingers between your thighs, tips pushing and rubbing against the twitching little nub between your folds so hard it felt like he shifted it from its original position. You wailed against his palm like a banshee as you finally came, the sudden spark of pleasure aimed just at the right place sending you over the edge as tears spilt down your cheeks, rolling over the hand that’s still pressed against your mouth.

Your legs clamped shut tighter than before, squeezing his cock that was still thrusting in and out between your soft, wet flesh.

"Jesus, fuck", he grunts, breathing heavily, "good girl, good fuckin‘ girl."

Quaritch soon comes after you, biting again, until he left a giant bruise on your shoulder. He was drinking up every sweet little moan and gasp he elicited out of you like this, groaning and lapping his tongue against your skin while he pumped his seed through the space of your legs as it spurted from his throbbing cock.

Your eyes were still heavy with tears as you blinked to clear your vision, the bruising grip he had on your hips slowly loosening as he comes down from the high of his orgasm, but then tightening again, for just a split second that makes you tense up and flinch.

Miles is almost certain that that piercing pain he suddenly felt in his chest was some sort of cramp, some fucked up symptom of ptsd or his psyche struggling to adjust to this body that still wasn’t entirely his. But then that picture perfect doll face glances up at him from over your shoulder. Your eyebrows are pinched together, hair sticking to your forehead, cheeks flushed red and glistening in a thin layer of sweat, lips all swollen red and bitten raw.

And now he’s not so sure anymore where that piercing pain in his chest really comes from…

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littlemisssatanist · 3 months

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my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

#anti rhysand #anti sjm #anti inner circle #anti acotar #rhysand critical #inner circle critical #acotar #acotar critical #pro nesta #anti nessian #pro eris vanserra #anti mor #this might be a controversial one

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shiftingconfessions · 3 months

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I will be pulling a wild one here

I am shifter before shiftok and shifting tumbler and so on, I was part of the firsts shifting plataforms to ever exist, the work of my friends and colleagues are diluted and changed in many methods the community still using today, or use and not yet know about it.

Shiftok is a lie. It is straight up a lie, more than half of accounts in there are lying, take the big 10 accounts all around the globe and you will see how deeply unsettling and ego blinded these ppl are.

I will share a lil secret to shifting on tumbler, most influencers KNOW that they are talking shit nowadays. The so proclaimed creators of shittok vanglorizes themselves for creating it, but deep down one was a absolute baby shifter and the other one knew her stuff but was caught in drama.

They both are part of the first shifting community ever, started on 2017, they were warned to use their voice to spread information but they decided to blind themselves and continue their fights and dramas.

Besides that, the modern Mainstream Shiftok is around money. TikTok monetizes creators and for these creators to have a base, they need people to watch their videos

Information is freedom, and there is no way to get the proper amount of needed information on shiftok, it is a short video app, we are discussing a experimental practice on reality switching.

Besides that, people now want to make you pay for shifting info, or manifestions courses, and so on

Let me tell a thing that sadly will make sense in the future: Shifting is free, shifting has always been free and those people do not have authority on the matter to even teach it

While the community has been improving, there is a lack on the shifter vanguard, on ACTUAL new stuff and an actual understanding behind shifting. Some people shift by oversimplifying things, others by hard looking into why's and hows, both are valid but they need to correspond to each other. If a community is too complex shifting becomes too hard, if a community is too simple shifting becomes a myth.

That is the state of the community, anyones out there who wants to understand why's and how's can't even find good bases since everything is gatekept and even the so called shifters from shiftok can't even understand it or desire to share it.

Therefore creating a community that is constantly a lie, people tell experiences that don't match when being re-telled and either make sense, many have been spotted doing so. Shifting changes someone, it is a trace marked on their minds forever, to fully shift is to be forever changed. Most people are either LDs or having false awakenings and calling it a day.

Besides all that people are fighting for stupid ideas. Being taboo, race changing was never a topic in our community before it began on shiftok. You know why? Because everyone knew that infinity selfs does not mean that you are equally in all realities, we all playing roles, if I am certain race in my Dr that is not the one I am in this reality, then I won't act like I am part of the minority in this reality.

As for the hypocrisies of these people, most accounts that moved this debate was being xenophobic on Portuguese and Spanish communities.

As an extra information, If you know Sunni Method, you should know that sunni was one of the first shifters (on our understanding of DR, WR and scripting) that created and sourced so many different shifting practices and helped the first gen of the community to understand the practice. She did not only proved shifting to the subliminal communities as well define a work that would be still being used today, the Sunni method is the basic for every method. And she is afro American, and for today terms, she would be changing her race depending on the reality.

For the people that keep making futile problematization on this topic, it shows that you never fully understood shifting and created fake scenarios on your mind to source a point that was never a actual point. Minorities need support on day to day life, not whatever people are believing on determined practice.

tw: mention on self harm

As for respawning, anti-respawing are a bunch of ungrateful. Respawning made the very much bases of modern shifting. And for the respawners that belief that it should end on self harm, you do not understand how respawning work and how delicate are the structured you about to mess. If you are suffering from any mental difficulties, search professional help and not spiritual help that often leads to bad escapism.

Going back

The individual journey of someone starts on the seed planted by the community they find shifting, the hard truth is that shifting isn't only a personal experience but a collective one. In another words the community state you get, is the seed of your journey. Before 2018 people had a hard time shifting because they could not understand what it was, a few years later the community achieved a gold state with sharing knowledge and methods (which the English community would constantly gatekeek to their siblings communities btw) and after the mainstreaming on TikTok shifting went down to a stone age.

People are debating either if they can or cannot do things. In shifting. The. Belief. Of. Infinity.

I can understand why baby shifters do these questions, but I see people on this community since 2020 and the ones from 2019 who end up on the wasteland of other social platforms, asking questions that are so OBVIOUS

You don't need to know everything, but for star sakes you NEED to understand the basics of the thing you are doing, what a script is and how to write one, a few methods and your own cosmological view settled down.

Shifting allows you to mix and match beliefs like a Lego set, do it for your personal journeys using what other have found in the past.

While people are degrating the community and locking good stuff a way, shifting gets every day harder and harder, becoming everytime a godfied event and a hard and thought task that only a few can achieve, that is the mindset that is being grown on the community.

Why the hell the overall community nowadays have less and less actual experiences that the community a few years ago?

For the future, I am not sure but I bet on the end of the practice in a few years, when outsiders "grow out of it". Some will shift, others will just move on with their spiritual journey and so on, the community slowly fading.

I am not here to bring a salvation message, I am so tired, I have been making so much for the last 5 years, trying so hard to archive, share and teach people about shifting, in a way that was forgotten and locked down.

I am permashifting soon, and I am posting what I know on the community where I learned shifting in my native language, this end up more in a vent and a warning to what is happening. Do not believe me if you do not want to.

As for the people that want to understand more, I really recommend for you to dig in the past, a hint is that shifting started on amino. ik it is a bad app but sometimes gems appears. Shifting predecessors (quantum immortality and dimensional jumping) are available on Reddit to be studied (see the archives version of D.J) but they don't fully translate to shifting. (do not use the reality shifting subreddit)

And leave the damned app that is TikTok, you may be laughing for 3 seconds with some random girl talking about draco, but would be way better to be in your dr. why would you let your mind rot?

Shifting is a spiritual practice sourced on scientific facts and theories, both may be fighting a lot but a thing that they have in common is digging stuff, dig and search like never before, the community and it's beliefs are open on the internet, sometimes all you need is to answer a few questions and you will be able to find a good plataform

Your journey will be good no matter what.

Happy shifting.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting realities #desired reality #shifting community #shifting #shiftcourse

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cameronspecial · 1 month

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Could you make a one shot where the reader grew up with a very loving family (especially her dad) and rafe surprises her with gifts, activities and acts of service that she loves. She gets confused and asks him what’s with the stuff. He says that he’s recently been spending lots of time with her parents and always asks them what reader likes to show that he can meet the bar her dad has set. (And maybe slip in something on how he’ll set his bar with their future daughters and their boyfriends 😈🥹). I always look forward to reading ur work and I just wanted to finally ask cuz you write everyone’s requests so well!!

Setting The Standards

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K

Masterlist

Y/N loves that Rafe likes to spend time with her parents without her. She finds it sweet that he takes time out of his day to get to know the other people she loves and thinks it is good for him to be around a family that actually treats him with love and attention. Every time Rafe visits her parents, she notices he gives her a gift and does one more chore around the house the way she likes it. A part of her feels like he is trying to condition her, but it wouldn’t really make sense because he is the one doing the visiting.

One day, she decides to ask him about it. Her parents spent the day with Rafe at her and his shared house while she was at work. They had to leave before she got home because they had to get to her brother’s house to babysit her niece. She places her purse on the side table and pads to the living room. She isn’t surprised to find a box wrapped in flower-patterned wrapping paper and a bow. She approaches it with a smile, tearing into it as soon as she is within arms reach of it. Her instinct to wait for Rafe goes out the window. She didn’t expect to find ketchup chips in the box. Her parents must have told him about how she became obsessed with the snack when they vacationed in Canada a few years ago. Her hands eagerly reach for the bag and pull it open, shoving the red potato slices into her mouth. She moans at the sweet taste that reaches her taste buds. Rafe enters the room with a chuckle, “I see you like the snack I got you.” His feet take him behind her and he reaches into the bag to pop a chip into his mouth. She stares up at him with a smile. “I did. Thank you. What were you doing?”

“I was switching out your winter clothes with your summer ones. The weather is getting warmer so it’s time for flower patterns and shorts, Bumblebee.” He kisses her cheek with his arms around her waist. Butterfly erupts in her stomach. She hates changing between her closets. It takes forever and is so tedious.

“Aww, thank you, Baby. It means a lot that you do all this for me.” She rests her hands on his and they sway for a little until she gets the courage to ask what she has been wanting to ask. “So… I have noticed that whenever you are with my parents, I get gifts and your acts of service are more tailored towards me. I was wondering why.”

They freeze and he caresses her forearms. “One reason why I love spending time with your parents is that I get to learn small stuff about you that you may not see as important to me. It helps me make you happy and that’s my mission in life.”

She awws and kisses his cheek, “That’s so sweet, Baby. I wish I could do those things for you.” He brings his hand up to her cheek as a reassurance. “You may not know it, but just being here for me is enough, Bumblebee. Plus, how am I supposed to show our daughter how she should be treated if I don’t lead by example? Because both of you are meant to be treated like queens. I’m just setting the standards.” A heat spreads over her cheeks at the mention of their possible future. It solidifies her belief that he will make a great father one day. “You are going to set the standards so high for her that she will recognize that she only deserves to be married to a king,” Y/N adds. “Thank you for everything that you do for me.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

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crushedsweets · 10 months

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Would you ever consider including nurse ann in more of your art/ stories? She's one of my favorite characters and I think your design for her is amazing lmao- I'd also sort of like to know what her relationship with the others would be like

yes. actually. i would love to . ok i have some vague ideas for how shed fit into the lore so thatll be under the cut !! i also start rambling about lulus lore too cuz i decided theyre friends.

ok so, again, my au is based around slenders forest being like... some sort of magnet for the paranormal. slenderman wants to keep all of these cryptids within the forest.

since its in a fictionalized forest in tuscaloosa, where marble hornets was filmed, i decided to move the abanonded hospital they visited up north of the tuscaloosa lake. she roams there.

SOOOOO nurse ann is just... a demon. slenders forest is sort of like limbo for a lot of the cryptids and kinda puts them in like.. a long daze and loops unless they're consistently leaving or being grounded by humans.

i dont EXACTLY know why/how she's in that specfic hospital, especially since i dont believe she has an official origin? maybe when the hospital shut down, she was let go and wasn't transferred to work in a new hospital, so she lost her shit and preformed some crazy rituals that ended up making her an undead nurse ? now she's forever roaming the hospital. or maybe she was killing patients when she was a human and kept doing weird demon shit with their bodies and the operator/zalgo fed off of her bad vibes. LOL IDK.

now about lulu cuz i drew her too.

i used to be sooo fond of lulu. and i originally said she was just going to be another ghost roaming the forest pointlessly, mourning everything and being incapable of interacting with humans, BUUUUUT. she is 24 and NOT A GHOST?!?!??!?! IDK WHY ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A GHOST WHO AGES CUZ YK HOW CHIBIWORKS STUFF WAS BACK THEN LOL... i def am tired of little kids being tortured and all these children ghosts tho so im kinda glad to have smth new to write. anyway. so im thinking lulus just another little demon thing... i'm thinking her story goes.

she was in strict private schools all of k-12, and went to uni on her own in tuscaloosa. she wanted to branch out, have a little rebelious phase, make friends, etc. tried to join a co-ed frat. she experienced an absolutely horrific hazing when she was like 19, the frat fully believed they killed her by accident and in their panic, tried to bury her in slenders forest, and some demonic entity in the forest infected her before she was buried fully. she ends up climbing out of her shallow grave, never having died. perhaps the operator did it, perhaps zalgo like in her og lore ? PERHAPS ANN CUZ SHES A DEMON HERSELF?

anywaaayyyyy :3 l think theyd be cute friends. they just look really cute together and i could see good chemistry so i totally would love to expand on them and make them friends. maybe expand more on the type of species they are, what kind of powers they have(esp if i make ann the demon who infects lulu).

BUUUUT ALSO this made me realize i should totally look into adding zalgo to my lore. cuz it doesnt make sense for the operator to make anyone a demon, thats not really what he does.... and i dont want him to do that i just dont like the vibes. so mmm yes.

anyway in terms of relationships..

lulu and her are cool good besties beautiful they would take selfies and do tiktok dances together.

masky and hoody are incredibly indifferent to her, because they dont have to worry/visit her often. she stays in the hospital thats in the forest, and thats exactly where slenderman wants her, so theyre content. theyre kinda grateful she keeps lulu in the hospital too, cuz lulu actually freaks them out bc she'll be jumping at them and shit talking about their eyes.

tobys EXTREMELY scared of ghosts (bc of his hallucinations of his sisters ghost . . ). he eventually gets over it(kinda?) with sally, but he keeps accusing ann and lulu and the sort of being ghosts cuz they just.. kinda pop in and out. at least jack has to walk into the room to show up. so he doesnt like them

mmm jack wouldnt like her IF he knows that she kinda turned herself into a demon through like, a ritual or smth. he'd be beyond pissed to know someone CHOSE to be what he is. if he doesnt know, he doesnt care for her. he kinda jokes about 'well why dont YOU be their medic' and shes like 'dont fuckin wanna be'.

jane and liu and kate prob dont know her... kate might but wouldnt care.

jeff would prob think shes hot or some bullshit and nina would be beyond pissed. at first ninas like AHHH SHES SO COOL cuz shes a fangirl at heart, but the second she hears a single 'goddamn' from jeff shes livid.

ben prob wouldnt care much for her... hes so uninterested in demons idk why i just feel like he doesnt care.

clockwork would LOVE HER. she'd think she's so fucking cool. she'd try talking to her all the time but ann prob wouldnt be interested in clocky at all...

ofc the proxies purposefully come into contact with the paranormal the most because thats their job, so i wrote the most for them, but that doesn't mean theyre the closest or anything.

ok thank u anon you did smth to my brain that benefitted my mental health cuz i love writing this shit for the creeps thank u sm .

#asks #creeped #hcs #sweetart #creepypasta #nurse ann #lulu creepypasta #creepypasta art #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta headcanons #ticci toby #masky #tim wright #aaahhhgghg #i love doing these so much seriously #heals me #toby rogers #Lucille-Tiffany Greatfeild

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mandy-asimp · 1 year

Text

Winter Getaway

summary: Y/n and Larissa Weems have never interacted unless needed. Which was almost everyday as Y/n had to explain why a random plant or tree had appeared in the courtyard. So when a friend convinces Y/n out of the comfort zone at the school getaway, many things happen.

pairings: Larissa Weems x Teacher!reader

warnings: cursing, smut, pet names, virgin! reader, don/sub dynamics, mommy kink, dumbifiation(?), so much teasing that it dragged this on.

note: this idea has been lingering in my head so i'm finally going to write it. it's also like kinda long? It does have length to it so. also if this doesn't make sense at some points its because i went back a lot

"Dr. L/n, what's the excuse this time?" Her tone was colder than usual. Had you done something? Or was it someone else? "Dr. L/n?"

You didn't notice you stayed silent. Soon being trapped in her gaze as she looked up to figure out your silence. She looked at you weird. Your mind started fumbling trying to get a sentence out to answer her.

She gave a heavy sigh. "If you don't have a sentence or even an excuse you're free to leave. I'll just write it down as a class project." She pulled out the file where she started putting all your class accidents. "One thing, are you joining the school on the Winter Getaway?"

With the topic changing, you felt less pressure. "I...I don't think I will. I was just gonna give my secret Santa their gift before everyone left." You explained softly. Your voice being so quiet.

"But you've never attended one? You've been her for almost five years." She furrowed her brows. And all you could focus on was how her eyes held some sense of sadness and worry. "Everyone usually has a lot of fun on the trip. We fly down to Florida, stay at a nice hotel for a week, then we take the next week and cruise. You'll really enjoy it."

You stood frozen, never noticing her walking towards you. You never even noticed when she got up. Her figure towered you. To meet her eyes, you had to fully look up or stand on a chair. Your breathing quickened.

The moment would've lasted if vines didn't start growing out of her plants. You stepped back, diverting your gaze away from her.

"Enjoy your getaway, Principal Weems." You spat before quickly leaving the room.

Before heading back to your room, you did your rounds. Checking that all your students were packed and ready to leave in the morning. Then you went to your own room.

Smiling when you saw Lizzie in your kitchen. She was your best friend forever. You two grew up next to each other and mostly told each other everything,

"Your bag is already packed." She pushed over your glass of wine. "You're coming this year and if you don't I will drag you with."

"Liz, no. You know I always get homesick on long trips. Plus, I don't have any actual clothes for this trip. I only own baggy jeans and baggy shirts." You took the glass, sipping it as you went to look at the bag. "What's even in here?"

"I went and bought you an entire wardrobe for two weeks. You forget I know all your measurements." She teased. "There's a lot that's still in your comfort zone. I kept it baggy shirts, but I got you shorts."

Your eyes widened. Realzing that Weems would finally see the leg tattoos you had. Everyone else had seen them, but she hadn’t. She never was at the staff parties.

You got your tattoo after your grandfather. He got his tattoo to look soft and not as manly. Growing up you adored his. You and him were strongly bonded when you were born. That's why most of your family thinks you got plants. His inspired yours.

Your legs were vines that had all sorts of plants, but it went all the way up to end behind your ear. His favorite flower ending the entire things.

"Liz. You know I don't like that idea." You frowned. Dragging the bag to your room to see what she actually got you.

She scoffed at your words. "I know you don't, but you're literally a goddess who doesn't know how to take a compliment."

She was right about the compliment part. "What if everyone stares? But not in the way that's good." Your brought up, pulling out clothes. Staring at everything. "Lizzie, it's too much."

"It's not enough. Also, everyone’s already seen them. You're going to spend two weeks in warm weather. With how badass you'll look, you could probably find a lover. But he better treat you right." The blonde smirked from her spot.

You stayed silent. It was something you tended to do when hiding something or nervous. Lizzie was no newbie to this sign. "You're hiding something aren't you?" You just gave a nod. "Do you already have a man? Is it Alex?! You two are always talking!"

"Liz." You cut her from going on. You looked in her eyes and raised your right hand. She was confused and mimicked you. So when your wrist fell limp, hers did to. And her brown eyes almost fell out.

"Are you serious?!" She yelled. "You've never told me why?!"

You shrugged, "I was never certain but then a few years ago, I became slightly more certain, then this year I was certain"

She squinted at you, knowing there was something, or someone who made you certain. And her next guess was wild, but she wanted to know. "It's Weems, isn't it?"

You immediately left the room. Listening to her squeal so loud that you almost missed the knock on your door. You opened it not knowing that Lizzie would come running into the room shouting.

"You have a crush on Weems!" She screamed in excitement.

Never have you felt more heat on you than this moment. You wanted to be pulled into the ground by the plants. You knew vines were about to start invading your room.

Lizzie came up behind you to see who was at the door. When she did, her smile dropped quicker than you could think. You walked away from the door without another word. Locking yourself in your room.

The two just stood by the door stunned. Jumping as they heard your piercing scream. Watching as the plants all over started to grow. The room shook for a brief moment.

You walked out then. Nothing happened. You went to stand in front of Lizzie in the doorway. "Principal Weems, what can I help you with?" Your voice wasn't stable but you wanted to end this night conversation now.

"I just was told about a lot of shouting and wanted to make sure everything was ok." She answered. Her mind wanted to think about what she now knew, but her eyes searched yours for any sign of anything really. "So, is everything ok?"

"Just wonderful. Professor Boris was just telling me why I'm going on the trip." You answered sweetly. "She just got a bit excited when I caved."

Weems jumped between you and Lizzie. "Right, then I shall see you both in the morning, please try and keep it down."

"Goodnight, Principal Weems." You smiled softly as she walked away. You closed the door with the same softness of your smile. Turning and ready to lecture the life out of Lizzie.

Her arms were up, ready to hold you back. "I didn't know she was at the door!" She defended. You opened your mouth and let it shut instantly. Shaking your hands in anger at her while you went to repack. "But! You're coming with!"

~T.S~

The morning came and when you were doing your head count of your students, you could hardly look at Weems. Yet you could feel her icy eyes staring you down.

Your group was set to start boarding the bus to the airport. The kids all swarming to sit next to their friends and start eagerly talking.

You took a window seat near the front and pulled out your book and sketch book. You would assume that Lizzie would come sit next to you as her group was on the same bus.

You let yourself get lost in the words and pages. Even though the book was about things you already knew. Plants. As your eyes scanned over every letter, your free hand was subconsciously drawing what the plant looked like.

The habit was something that kept you calm over the years. It kept you distracted from the noise of the kids.

You were so lost you didn't acknowledge the person sit down next to you.

"So you also draw plants?" A familiar voice hummed. Breaking your silence. You looked over and smiled at the man. It was Alex.

You gave a soft hum. "It keeps me distracted. I didn't know your group was on this bus?"

"It got changed that each bus could hold four groups. I guess I got lucky to be on the same bus as you. So what plant is that?" He went back to your drawing. Secretly loving the way you would ramble on about them.

And that's exactly what you did. Telling him all sorts of facts about plants. At first it was one plant, then two, then three, and before you really knew it, you were at the airport getting off. A sheepish smile on your face as you realized you talked his ear off.

"I didn't mean to talk the entire time. I'm sorry," You were quick to apologize. Standing on the side as all your kids got off the bus.

He chuckled, "If I didn't want you to keep talking I would've stopped you. But you're really passionate about plants. I have to go do head count, but hopefully on the plane ride you can tell me more?"

You smiled and just nodded, watching him leave your side. Going back on to make sure everyone had everything. Collecting a few pairs of headphones and cases. You made it to the back and then finally turned around. Jumping at the woman who stared at you.

"Principal Weems! Y-You scared me! What can I do for you?" You felt the distance between you wasn't enough. It was too small. There was no space for you anymore. You needed to feel the cold air on your skin before vines started to appear.

"I was just checking to make sure everything was picked up, but it seems you beat me to it!" She laughed. It was such a delicate sound. One you could always listen to. One you wish you could cause. How you wished you could be the cause of that sound. "Dr. L/n? Are you with me?"

A distant hum brought you back. "Right sorry! Um, I just found a few headphones and their cases. Everything else has been taken." You spat out.

You knew from the moment she started walking towards you, vines would start coming from somewhere. They would come in and drag you out. Only taking you and causing no harm. She was getting closer and there were no vines in sight.

Every step she took towards you, you took one back. The racing thought of how much space you actually had left was screaming. You needed to get out.

Your back hit a wall finally. Your breathing was intense. Your eyes were searching her entire face. Your mind was just a big jumble. Your body frozen.

There was something that made you want to stay here. That the vines wouldn't show up. That there was something else you could do.

Suddenly, your brain went silent. Weems was talking, but you couldn't hear anything. Instead you raised your hands. Holding them together and focusing the nervousness into them.

You looked down at them. Weems following. There was a chocolate cosmos in your hands.

You blinked a few times before pushing it to Weems. For a split second, her fingers touched yours. She took the flower carefully and watched you rush past her.

Lizzie waved you over as you rushed into the building. She looked worried at how quiet and pale you looked.

Before she asked you started speaking. "When I get too nervous vines usually start to grow from somewhere and come for me. They'll pull me away into safety. We were on the bus and she was really close and instead of vines, a flower appeared in my hand. Not a simple daisy, no I mean one that I've never seen in real life. I was drawing it on the bus earlier and then it was in my hands."

"You gave her a flower?!" Lizzie whispered loudly. Her eyes trained ahead of her.

"I was panicking! It felt different. When the vines come, the feeling that rushes through me is shaky, unstable. But this...it was the most stable I felt. It was like those fireworks they describe when you kiss your crush of a million years. When you open the gift you wanted. Like when you met Rob. That type of stable." You were rambling. Your eyes looked behind you and met hers.

She was holding her bags and still had the flower in her hand. She raised it to her nose and deeply inhaled. You could feel her inhale almost. When she exhaled, you could actually feel it behind your ear.

You looked away and held behind your ear.

"What's going on with you?" Lizzie finally looked to you. She became worried with how concentrated and confused you were. "You look like you're about to die."

"I think I'm one with the plants. I have all sorts of my favorite flowers tattooed on my body. My grandpa's favorite is tattooed behind my ear. She smelt the flower and I could feel her breath. Either I'm evolving like some Pokémon, or I'm going insane." You gave a dry laugh.

Lizzie was trying to think of some plan to test it out. "Can you conjure up another one that's on you?" She asked.

You thought about the feeling you felt earlier and closed your eyes. Knowing that doing this in public would be risky if you got caught.

You knew on your left calf there was a juliet rose. You thought of it and the feeling Weems gave you. And surely enough, there was a flower in your hand. Giving it over to Lizzie, she smelt it. Then her exhale was on your calf.

Your eyes widen and so did hers. "You're one with the plants that are on you?! Is that why the vines were so persistent?!" Lizzie was excited for you.

"I can literally feel plants!" your body began to shake with happiness. It's always been a skill you had heard and wanted. You always thought it was fake. But here you were.

The only downfall you now faced: Larissa Weems had a flower from you.

Your actions ceased. You turned around to her again. Her hand started to reach for the petals, about to start caressing them.

"Liz, she has a flower. Her flower is right behind my ear. A chocolate cosmos. Liz, she can't have that flower." You began to panic.

"Then go get it. This trip is outside of your comfort zone and you're discovering things, so go discover a way to get it. We're not teenagers where I was the messenger." Liz shook her head. Knowing your next words would be asking her. "And before you ask me, what do I say, I'm telling you now, just ramble." She smiled at you. "And finally! If it goes wrong and you get too stressed, just know, we're taking edibles before we get to TSA. I know you too well for that."

"Is that why you forced me to eat breakfast this morning? To get me high?" You laughed.

Lizzie only beamed wider. "I plan too keep you from sober for the next two weeks. Now go! Get your flower."

You gave a stiff nod and turned to the tall beauty. Her blue eyes already on you. The urge to run away was strong, but you needed that flower back.

So you stepped away from where Liz was, moving towards her. Never once breaking eye contact. Your hands were fidgeting at your sides. You didn't know how to approach this at all and your mind was hectic once more.

Your feet felt so heavy. Had they always been this heavy? They couldn't have been. You were sure you would've noticed. But then again, would you? Why is this what you're worrying about? How are you getting that flower? Are you going to tell her that you can feel everything she does?

"Y/n!" Alex. He pulled you from your drowning questions. "Are you alright?"

"Oh! Yeah! I just had to talk to Weems before TSA." You answered.

You could tell you were close enough for her to hear and read your lips.

"About?" He questioned. Wanting to know further. "Is it about the flower she found?"

How oblivious he is.

"Yeah! Actually it's really strange. Being one with plants, uhhh, it allows me to feel anything they feel. And she has a flower I've never seen and I just wanted to ask her about it. But I can feel it's life draining and I want to nurse it back to health." You partly lied and partly told the truth.

Weems' eyebrow raised when she hear you could feel what the flower felt. But she wanted to test it. So she smelt it again. Blowing out this time. Watching how your eyes jumped to her as your hand felt behind your ear. That wasn't enough though. She wanted to push you.

The flower, the dark colors, were brought up to her vibrant red lips. Soft kisses started to appear behind your ear.

You took a sharp inhale. Once again jumping to look at her. A devilish smirk on her face.

"I'll see you on the plane though?" You looked back to Alex. Your classic soft smile being given for comfort.

He left you once again and you almost instantly locked eyes with Weems. Continuing your path to her.

"Dr. L/n."

"Principal Weems. That flower...I um," you started becoming short of breath. Your eyes fell to the flower in her hand then back up to her. Your eyes began to flutter. The feeling was being too much and you needed to let it out before vines started to show up.

And without thinking you grabbed her hands. Wrapping them around your as you felt flower petals form. You were learning so much about yourself.

"Dr. L/n are you okay?" She frowned, not understanding why she was covering your hands.

You knew the petals were to some flowers on your body and feeling her hands just resting on the petals was then on your body. And she didn't mean to squeeze, but she was trying to get you to open your eyes and look at her.

The smallest whimper left your mouth at the squeeze. You nodded your head. Not daring to acknowledge the redness of your face.

You opened your hands and eyes. Laughing weakly at how many different petals were in her hands. You could pick out which flower they all belonged to.

Finally coming back to reality, you went to start grabbing them, but Weems pulled her hands away. You furrowed your brows at the new absence. Craning your head to see her eyes.

"Principal Weems?" You whispered her name. Childishly reaching for her hands again.

You watched in awe as she put all the petals in one hand and used the other to carefully run over them. Sending shivers all over your body. The feeling was all to much for you.

You stepped closer to her, needing her to free you of the feeling. "Please..." you stared up at her with glistening eyes. Surely, you felt your body come back and your feelings dial down.

"I'm going to have so much fun with these." She matched your volume. "I'm going to find out which one makes you squirm."

"Principal Weems, I don't think that such a good idea." You shook your head.

You didn't have to think, you knew it was a bad idea. Too much could make you do something you won't be able to control. It genuinely scared you about these new found abilities.

"And why is that, darling?" She hummed.

You didn't get to answer as your phone went off. You backed up, knowing that it was Liz who texted you.

Then you left the woman. Finding your way right next to Lizzie. She could sense your defeat. Which is why she handed over the brownie. Waiting impatiently for it to finally kick in.

~T.S~

Sitting on the plane was fine. Well, it was fine.

Lizzie sat in the window seat, you in the middle, and you had an open seat. Knowing Alex would probably take it.

"Bro, imagine if Weems was high." Lizzie looked over to you. Her eyes barely open.

You stifled the loud laughter in you. "Do you think she would still be able to function as the giant goddess she is?"

"Dude, imagine we give her the last bit." She laughed. It was that stupid high laugh she always had, which would make you laugh more.

And for a solid five minutes you two just laughed at nothing. Trying to collect yourself when someone walked up to the open seat. Without thinking you greeted the person, still thinking Alex was taking the seat with you. "Hey, Alex." You got out between your panting.

Alex would've known why you guys were laughing. And when you reached for the last part of the brownie to hand over to him, you froze when you realized it wasn't him.

Your hand immediately came back to you, and you felt the adrenaline cancel out everything. You elbowed Liz, signaling for her to look and act normal.

"Principal Weems!" You blinked. Still feeling the laughter trying to escape. You didn't feel like your normal antsy self in front of her. Instead, after realizing who it was, you calmed down. Like you weren't talking to Weems, but to Larissa. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if this seat was taken?" She question, gesturing to the blue seat.

"Oh! Please sit!" Liz answered before you could. "Would you like the last of Y/n's brownie?" She offered, motioning to the brownie in hand.

You glanced at her. Mouthing are you sure? Knowing exactly what plan she had. Lizzie nodded and focus back to Weems. You followed soon after. "Yeah, I made them earlier this week. They're plant based!" Lizzie laughed while you tried to keep you cool. Weems, however, wasn't even laughing.

"I hope that two of my staff members aren't high before we even left state?" She stared at you both.

"Principal Weems, if we see those two, we'll for sure report them to you!" Lizzie stupidly joked. Causing you to finally crack.

You had to force yourself to be sober. "Larissa, it's because I get anxious on take off and landing. Lizzie just takes one with me so I'm not alone." You spoke without processing the names you said. "By the time we land, both of us will be fine. Liz falls asleep ten minutes into the ride."

Your eyes traveled up her entire body, finally taking in her outfit. She wasn't in her usual heels and dress. Instead she had on grey sweats and a Nevermore crewneck. And finally, your eyes met hers.

Those piercing blues. You felt your breath catch. She was staring back at you. Almost like she was waiting for you to tell her to sit. Words seemed to fail you(not the first time) so you just bobbed your head.

The seconds that passed from her standing to her sitting where in slow motion. You couldn't tear away from her every move and how elegant she looked doing it all. Then when she sat, she was still taller than you.

Time froze. You've had slight physical touches with her. But the burning feeling you were feelings.

Her thigh pressed against yours.

You were doomed.

How does one go through an entire plane ride with a stunningly indescribable woman near?!

Luckily, you didn't get to think long as the plane was getting ready to take off. You had missed the entire build up and now you were worried.

Your leg started to bounce, the one the was pressed against Larissa's. She had noticed but didn't mind. After all, you were just nervous. Yet, when the plane starts to build speed and your hand grabs hers, you close your eyes.

Larissa jumped at the sudden contact. Her mind didn't have to think twice. She just held yours back and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

~T.S~

Your eyes slowly peeled open. You vision was on a tilt, confusing you. Your head rolled to look up at the thing your head was against.

"Well, good morning," Larissa hummed. "So you're a cuddler?"

Your brows furrowed together before realizing. You had the woman's arm in yours and legs over hers. How were you even comfortable?

You began to detangle yourself, "Principal Weems I am so sorry!"

"Oh, don't be darling. I hope you're well rested." She beamed down at you. Letting the smile grow at your blush. Had you always blushed around her like that? Why had she never noticed? Why did you look even cuter?

Just then, the person in front of you turned around. Alex. He was smiling down at you, and you couldn't help the smile that appeared.

"When we land, and get settled in, do you want to combine our groups and get dinner together?" He questioned. His brown eyes had this sparkle of hope.

"So, what if I told you, that I don't even know where we're staying?" You couldn't help the small laugh that fell from your mouth. "I literally was given my group this morning without a single detail. Liz had planned me going when the trip was announced."

"I'm just that great of a friend. I have three given gifts...find Y/n love, let Y/n rant when needed, and drag Y/n on unwanted adventures." The brunette popped into the topic. "We're all given schedules based on our groups for a reason Alex. Reservations were impossible to make for so many hungry teens. Y/n is at the Rainforest Café for dinner tonight."

You knew easily Lizzie was up to something. She didn't care about reservations and following them. But whatever she had planned, you were trusting her.

"So, I am warning you Alexander Smith. You fuck up my hard work of making reservations, and it. Is. War." Liz pointed a stiff finger at him. Making his smile fade slightly.

"Don't worry, Smith. We still have the Secret Santa exchange." You brightened the mood. "Whenever that actually is."

"Tonight, by the pool." Liz cut in once more.

"Then tonight we'll see each other!" You shrugged. Trying your absolute best to ignore the hand creeping on your thigh. "Who, um, who'd you get anyways?" You tried to carry the conversation longer.

"Oh, I got Cawthon. I just got him a really nice cologne and his favorite brand of hoodies." He openly answered. "What about you? Who was yours?"

You frowned knowing you couldn't actually say. Seeing as her hand was literally on you trying to find some reaction. "I would say but they're too close and if they heard."

He playfully glared at you. "I always forget you never trade a secret for a secret. You're sneaky, ya' know that?"

Shooting him a wink, "I don't do that! Liz knows all my secrets, and I know hers. So therefore, I do trade. Just has to be a good one." He slumped into his seat mumbling silly things. You knew he was laughing just as much as you. You leaned forward to whisper. "Don't be so easy to fool next time Smith."

"Ha-ha, you're so wise!" He whispered back. "Did Liz plan everything?"

"She got the torch passed once Greene left. She's planned everything before anyone could even ask.. I'm still trying to figure out how she got me to pay?"

Lizzie leaned forward, "I took your card and went to get the money. You need to use your card more. You never buy anything. So much money."

"Nosey fucker!" You scolded her. Taking both back with your language. They hardly heard you curse, so when you did it was a big deal. "I hate you both."

You returned to sitting normally. Finally acknowledging the white haired woman. First her hand and how high it had gotten on your leg, then on her face. Mostly those eyes.

They never were on your face, no, but on her hand as well. There was this darkness to her eyes. One you've never seen on anyone.

A gasp so quiet it was only heard by one person. Larissa had moved her hand to your hip bone. Tracing circles over it.

Letting your hand carefully move up to her face to bring her eyes to yours. You could only stare at her. Taking it in. Drinking her like she was expensive wine.

You began to lean in, and so did she. You were so close. So close you could feel her breath on you face.

You eyes fluttered open. You glanced over to Larissa. Then to Lizzie, who was still out, and back to Larissa. She was now focused on you and how scattered you seemed.

"Are you alright?" She kept her voice hushed. "You seem a bit confused. Did you have a dream of some sorts?" You could only nod, words just not seems.

"Was it scary?"

You shook your head.

"Was it with someone?" You stayed still. "Oh so it was. Who was it with? Some secret crush?"

You slowly met her gaze. Brows laced together. "Have you ever been in love?" You spat out.

Larissa was taken aback. Obviously she had been, but that was forever ago and it never ended pretty.

"Once. Many years ago. When I was a student, I was in love with my roommate. We got into an argument and I switched rooms." She simply explained.

You could only giggle. "Morticia Addams? Is that why you would have such a thing against her?"

Now she was gobsmacked. "How did you know?"

"I'm the student who had done the research project on alumni from Nevermore. I had sent you and email asking to interview you but never got a response, but Morticia was more than happy to be the center of attention." You didn't realize what you were saying, still feeling hazy from waking up. "Anyone could've seen it."

"You were the one who's paper went world known?" She had never once noticed you. "You're so smart, I would've known you."

"Not really. You were graduated by the time I started. And I figured if I couldn't have the one I wanted to meet for so long, I would pick her second best." You sighed.

Larissa didn't get time to respond as the plane began to land. She grabbed your hand before you could search for hers.

Your eyes screwed shut and it was over before you could catch up to the situation.

Once you were positive you were safe, you let out a airy 'thank you’ but didn't remove your hand. Keeping hers in yours. Even when getting ready to get off, you and her stepped out of your seats to let Lizzie out. And you didn't realize how you pressed back into her. You also failed to acknowledge her sharp intake.

Her only thought was what a little tease.

Your hands finally let go as you had to do head count.

And you two didn't see each other for the rest of the rides.

~T.S~

You knocked on the door to your groups room. Thankful when they had connected rooms and were all in one.

"Perfect! Dinner is at eight, but be ready earlier so you can do some shopping before hand." You waltzed in. Beginning on water the plants that were around their room.

"Tell us about you and Weems!" Someone asked.

You turned around and narrowed it down to Ajax. "What do you mean?" You laughed off.

"Oh come on! You two on the entire trip here?! There's an entire group chat dedicated to you two! You were literally cuddled up on the plane!" Bianca walked into the room. "Plus, words in. Weems is in room 2140. And I'm pretty sure that is also your room."

"Nothing is going on between us! Yes maybe there's been something happening but nothing more. She's my boss." You sighed in defeat.

The room was curious now. "What's been happening?" Enid tilted her head at you. You were going to say nothing, but once you turned, you saw those damn puppy eyes. Leading you to cave and telling the small group everything.

After an hour of fan girling about your crush, you finally left to get ready. Walking in, you only saw one door, meaning one bedroom. You knew you were sharing and were already content with taking either or, but for now you settled with the bed.

Hoisting your bag onto covers. Unzipping it and grabbing what Lizzie said was your first dinner outfits. She even texted you to remind you.

You folded it, along with fresh undergarments. Smiling when she even packed your wooly green cardigan.

You spun around, ready to shower away your travel. Jumping at the sight of your roommate.

"Larissa!" You screamed. "Scared the soul out of me!"

She could only hum at that. "I take it your my roommate?"

You nodded, "I can take the couch. It doesn't bother me."

"Nonsense, you can get the bed." Larissa shook her head.

Her silver hair was up but you could only imagine it down and blowing in the wind. Which is no different from how she wished she could see your hair down and free.

You were stubborn at times. This being one of them. "No, I promise I'll be ok out there. It even has a better view of the mini forest. Take the bed, I'll be fine. Now, I'm gonna shower to head to dinner."

You walked off, leaving the white haired goddess behind. She was still stunned by how sweet your voice sounded saying her name. Which made her wonder how it would sound being a moan. Ever since she found out of your crush, she couldn't help but want to tease you. To constantly have her hands on you.

Larissa Weems wanted to destroy you.

And you wanted her to.

You didn't even think twice when you picked up your phone. Texting Liz that you needed her help to get the woman to go insane for you.

Her plan being the outfit she planned for you. It was still in your suitcase on the bottom. Meaning you would have to go out there naked to get it. Only for Liz to tell you to let the towel hang loosely.

You liked the plan. You were somewhat confident that you could pull it off. But that was till you saw the woman sitting in a corner chair with her legs spread. Her position killed you on spot.

No. I'm doing this. You thought loudly. Larissa watched your every move. Taking in how you didn't look at her again. But rather ignored her. Giving it all to searching your bag for an outfit. Pulling out a pile of clothes and setting them aside.

You climbed onto the bed and put your back to her. Legs spread apart slightly, you let the towel fall. Then taking the clip out your hair. It falling down your back and a bit in front.

You reached towards your open bag and grabbed your skin care. Following it simply but your hips kept wiggling. An attempt of seeing how long she could hold off.

It wasn't until you crawled off the bed and slipped on new underwear, that you finally earned a grunt.

"Are you ok over there Larissa?" You almost moaned her name. Saying it with more breath that normal. "That chair getting uncomfortable?"

"You wouldn't believe it." She huffed out. You grabbed the dress, getting ready to slip it on. "No bra?"

"Not that type of dress." You laughed. Pulling it down just pass your ass. Landing mid-thigh. You spun around. Smiling to yourself at how dark her eyes were. "Do you think Alex would like it?"

"And when exactly will he have the pleasure to see it?" She gritted her teeth. She knew you were playing a game now. Seeing how long she could hold out for. But if that was the case, then you better believe she would be winning. Her prize being you. "I do believe he'll only be seeing you at the staff Secret Santa tonight. The one down by the pool side."

You hummed. Making your way closer so she could see how short it really was. Along with how well it clung to you. Showing you off in every single way.

She could sense how confident you suddenly were feeling, yet it didn't prepare her for your next move.

You swung an exposed leg over her, then the other. Straddling her as you sat taller now. Looking down at her for once as your hands cupped her face. Your left thumb running over her lips and dragging the bottom one down.

"Well, someone's gonna be taking it off of me before then." You nipped at her ear lobe.

That was it. How dare you tease her like that?! To even consider letting someone other than her touch you? Had you gone mad?!

Her hands gripped at your thighs, then clawed to your hips. Pulling yours to be against hers. She held you still for a second. Soon to be rubbed against her.

Your eyes widen at the feeling under you. "Rissa..." you hummed again. Her name sounded filthy with how you said it.

"Keep up your game, darling. Just don't forget who you're playing with." She pushed you off her. Standing up with a bulge in her pants. Leaving you to figure out if she had this planned all along.

You let out a heavy breath and finished getting ready.

~T.S~

Just as you were about to leave you saw her. Mouth dropping open at the sight before you.

With a white silk shirt and black flowy pants. It was far from her everyday attire. You were expecting some form of a dress. All your thoughts were gone at the sight of the first few buttons undone. Almost showing you cleavage. Then you realize, she was braless.

She had an untied tie around her. "Darling, do you know how to tie a tie?" She questioned. Taking in the large gulp you took as you nodded. "Wonderful, come help me then?"

Your legs moved without being told, you stood before her. About to reach for the tie, but she stepped back. It stayed that way till you started to grow annoyed.

You glared at the woman. Turning to leave her to tie her own tie. You had a hand on the doorknob. Except the door had an opposing force. You turned around. Eyes meeting the silk shirt.

You figured it was time for your move again. Your hand collecting the tie and bringing her closer to you. "Keep up your game, darling. Just don't forget who you're playing with." You mocked her. Pushing her off you as you opened the door.

She was baffled. Why were you never this confident before? Where did it all of a sudden come from? And most of all, how were you this good at being a tease?!

You on the other hand, were going to your groups room. Knocking on what you knew to be the girl's room. When the door opened they immediately pulled you in and started redoing your hair and makeup. Pleased to see you comply so easily for them.

"So?" Bianca started. Everyone was waiting for your explanation.

"I think I'm in love with Weems." You finally confessed. Listening to the uproar of cheers.

"Is that who you're all dressed up for?" Enid was applying makeup. She chose a soft brown and green look. Claiming it to be 'earthy' and 'so you'.

"A lot happened to get me this dressed up." You scoffed.

They pried at you to tell, but you couldn't. And the bickering went for awhile. Even as it became dinner. Only to stop when you saw who's group was with you.

Enid was the first to say something about it. "We have dinner with Weems' group?! This is so great we'll be able to witness it first hand!"

You shook your head and let them all run off to the tables. You followed with such, but to a table that hosted Larissa. Her sharp eyes making you feel more aware of the stunt you're playing.

Sitting in the booth across of her. She smiled like a sly fox and maybe she was. The way she has you longing for her. Like she's won and just rubbing it in. She had a plan and you could tell. Not that you didn't have one of your own, cause you do. You think you do at least.

Situating well, you realize how isolated your table really was. "Weems." You smiled carelessly. Larissa could swear, that the smile you owned, was enough to murder. Enough to make other people murder just for you. "Fancy seeing you her."

"Likewise. Thought you would be off with Mr. Smith." Her voice held something to it. You struggled to figure out what it was. "You look ravishing tonight."

"And you look divine. I'm so used to seeing you in dresses and skirts." You returned the compliment. "Have any plans after? The Secret Santa isn't till midnight from what I've heard."

"Oh, so many plans. What about you, darling? Any plans?" Her voice was suggestive now. Her plans were you.

"Can I get you two anything to start? Drinks? Appetizers?" The young girl had rosy cheeks. You couldn't tell if it was the intimidating stare of Larissa or your kind smile.

"A bottle of red, please?" You were first to order. Sensing the rise in Larissa's sharp brows. The girl rushed off. "You scared her away, Rissa."

"Me?"

"Mhmm, with that intimidating stare. Could cause trouble just to see it." You teased.

Larissa was so confused. Earlier you could barely be near her, and now you were so bold. "What is going on in that pretty head of yours?" She squinted her eyes at you, trying to read you.

You just beamed innocently as the wine was placed down. Thanking the waitress and sending her off. "A few more minutes hun," you said.

You felt bad for teasing her. But at the minute, all you could do was feel tingly for the woman across from you. You wanted to push every damn button you could on her. Find everything that makes her want to paralyze you. Not literally but, just till it was too much.

"L/n? Are you feeling ok?" Larissa snapped you back to reality. Your eyes had trained to her hands. How they held the wine glass. You wished you were a wine glass.

Coming back to it, you just hummed again. Slowly coming out of your trance and acting like it didn't happen. Continuing dinner with delightful conversation.

By the end, you were just slightly wine drunk. Standing as close as you could to Larissa to save you from the cold. You were covered by the cardigan, but you really just wanted an excuse to be close.

It was that way till you got to the hotel. Going a different way from her. "Darling? Where are you going?" Weems knitted her brows. "The room is this was."

"Liz has my bathing suit. She said it has to be the last minute surprise. I'll see you later though, at the pool party. I heard they wanted to have a volleyball and chicken competition. I was named a judge for the night." You answered. Continuing to walk the opposite way.

Breathing out heavily when out of sight. Rushing into Liz's room.

~T.S~

"Liz! This is so out of me!" You complained. You were on full display. "What even is your plan with this?!"

Liz came out, throwing a shirt at you. It was some plant shirt you never seen. "It's Weems'. Now, put it on so we can go get drunk with everyone. Tomorrow the kids are doing there own thing at the theme parks."

"What do you mean it's Weems'?! Did you take her shirt?!" You gasped. How did she even get it? "I don't know, Liz. Maybe I should just...lay low? This whole confident thing, yes it was fun and got me into a sexual game, but I don't know...I just feel wrong about doing it?"

"If you don't want to, you don't even have to take off the shirt. And the whole confident thing was all you, and that dress. I knew you would feel confident." Liz stepped out, her swimsuit being more covering. "The entire time, you can stay by me and Rob. I know Alex will be there, so you'll have a familiar face and won't third wheel alone. At any time, if you want to leave, just let me know. I won't make you stay and be uncomfortable."

You huffed, knowing you were trapped in going. But you knew you would regret if you didn't.

You trailed behind them on your phone the walk there. Already being later than what you wanted. Deep breaths could be heard from you, catching Lizzie's attention.

"Rob, you go ahead and find Alex." She sent her husband in. Turning to face you. "Hey. I am really proud that you've stepped out and are trying new things. It's a huge step into expanding your socialness while you're sober-ish. And if you want, tonight will be the last that I pressure you into something insane."

From all the years that you were friends, you began to pick up on how Liz can sense your emotions. She knew how you felt from usually one look. Then again, you tended to wear your emotions.

"I'll watch over you, pinky promise flower." She embraced you. Holding on tight to you until you felt ready. "Now lets go get drunk."

"God, is that all you think of?" You laughed, opening the gate to the pool. Your mood instantly lifting at how lively the party had become. You could pick out who've been drinking and getting ready for the volleyball game. "Do I have to be drunk to judge this game?"

"Oh absolutely!" Derek and Ro came up to you. "That's the whole point of giving the kids free range. We get shitfaced, most of us get laid, and then hangover!"

"I mean, I even think Weems is planning on getting drunk." Ro nodded towards her. Everyone soon glancing over. "I actually doubt that. The most I've ever seen her drink was like a few glasses of wine. She's always so responsible. Would hate to have to room with her. Probably have to be asleep by nine."

"Well, I have two weeks in the same room as her." You couldn't bring your eyes back to the group. "I mean, surely it can't be that bad?"

"Oh, Liz. You are a match maker!" Ro jumped with joy at the new found information. "See when you two first started beating around the bush, I thought it was hopeless! I mean, everyone did! But then recently?! It's like the only three that don't know are you, her, and Alex!"

"No, she knows!" Liz cut it. Making Derek laugh loudly at it. "It's literally just Alex who doesn't get it."

"Doesn't get what?" He came up to the four. Rob following close behind.

You knew it was inevitable now. "About the whole thing going on between Weems and Y/n. They really just need to fuck and get it out their systems." Derek spewed without a second thought. "It's insufferable watching."

He looked at you, and you could see the hurt in his eyes. "I would've never guessed...Shots?"

"God, yes please!" You broke away from the group. Ordering one for everyone and then rejoining them. Clinking the small glasses and starting your night strong.

And seven shots and a mix of drinks in between later, you were feeling more than drunk. Words just slightly slurring and your skin was flushed. You sat on the edge, having a simple conversation with one of the math teacher's. Rambling on about a flower they asked about, you missed how they started backing away. Also missing the appearing shadows. Ending up letting out a scream as you fell into the pool.

You quickly scrambled to attack at your friends. The weight of the now soaked shirt halting your actions. You let your eyes find the group laughing and so was everyone else. Lifting your spirit at the antics. Your hazy eyes found the blurb that was Larissa. Giving you a great idea.

She had yet to get in the water.

The attention was finally off you as your friends came closer. "I have a terrible idea." You giggled while stripping of your shirt. Now in the bathing suit. Without a care in the world, you skipped over to the goddess. A cheeky smile never leaving your face. "Can you get the hair tie out for me?" You looked so sweet now. Like someone who's never been drunk or even tipsy experiencing it for the first time.

You turned so she could have easier access. "That shirt you had on...where'd you get it?" She questioned. Hoping that in your drunken state you'd say something so damn cute she'd want to take you for her own.

She handed you the hair tie. "Come meet my friends...well...your staff!" You became all giddy. She was stricken for a second, but she wish she hadn't fallen for your trick.

As she was in a moment of vulnerability, you took it as your chance. Dragging her close to the deep end. And then a splash brought her back. She surfaced to you laughing while everyone stifled theirs. Reaching a hand out, implying she wanted your help, and once you took it, she pulled you in.

It was her turn to laugh as you had to tread water to stay afloat. Pulling you towards the side as you became tired quickly. She was going to say something, but you were already out and gone. Grabbing another drink when they started bringing out the net.

Larissa was confused. You turned away from her, but when Rob started to explain, she wasn't anymore. That's why you were so drunk. Everyone there knew how you acted drunk. Liz had dragged you to more than you had ever wanted.

"Y/n is our ref for the night. And when absolutely wasted, it can get pretty intense. Always keeps us on our toes. Are you playing with us, cause if so, you're on our team." Ro tied up her hair. Getting ready to kick ass.

"No way! If you get Weems, then you're bound to win! I think she shouldn't get to play," Ashton, a science teacher, mentioned.

"And why would we win?" Ro playfully glared. "Scared of loosing to the undefeated?"

"No, no, he makes a point! With how infatuated Y/n is with Weems, points are bound to be given. Same reason we don't let Liz play." Derek agreed.

"Dude! You're on our team!" Ro smacked his chest. "Fine, why don't we ask Y/n if both Liz and Weems should play!"

With your name being said, you spun around, mouth attached to a straw. Eyes in nothing but a cloud of haze. You walked closer and sat in you spot. The whistle of honor being given to you.

"Thank you Dan, but! They make a strong point. I'm very infatuated with Weems, and Liz is literally my best friend. And if you let the best friend and the goddess, then you at least have to pick new teams. Only fair to mix it up!" You shrugged, not even hearing your words.

Liz was so happy she planned this out perfectly. "Well, if it means I finally get to be in the volleyball games, I say lets pick new teams."

Your whistle blew, "Line up please!" You beamed.

"I thought we were picking teams?" Larissa followed with the order anyways. Adoring how cute you looked taking control.

"We are, this is how it happens." Dan informed. Going to blindfold you.

You had your back faced to them now, doing a little sway in your spot. "Mix!" You hiccupped. Listening to the sound of shuffling. Then you were facing them again, somehow pointing at people and placing them. Until there was no one left and teams were evened. You took off the fabric blinding you and were proud.

Nodding in approval you blew your whistle again. "Let the games begin! You cheered, taking you ref spot.

The calls you were making were absurd. People were arguing where it landed, and you let them defend themselves. Best case got the point. Then it came down to the two you'd never want to have to face.

"Dude! You're telling me I have to pick between the best friend and the goddess? Guys...like on game point as well? Ok! Ummmm, Liz, you first." You pointed.

Liz stood tall, hands folded in front of her. "Your honor, the ball fell out of the lines, not to forget that when she blocked it, it fell outside the line, making her the last person to touch it."

You hummed and nodded, then focus to Larissa. "Rissa?"

"There are no lines in the pool water your honor. I was told, the only way that the ball is out of lines, is if it hits the solid grown and rolls away." She reminded you of your own rules that you gave, yet you couldn't remember giving rules. Which was nothing new. It's why nobody defended with the rules.

You bobbed your head and looked between the two, getting ready to raise your hand to signal who won. And with closed eyes you hear your crush's team. A clatter of what's erupting from the other.

"Y/n! You have never given someone who defends with rules the point!" Ro shouted. She was so competitive about the game.

"You were the one that wanted Weems to play! You're just mad it didn't work in your favor!" Derek taunted. Making you laugh at their bickering.

"Is it time for the chicken tournament now?" You tilted your head. Changing the topic before it carried on any longer. "And honestly, if we're gonna get it done, Liz and Rissa can't play. I never want to make that choice again."

"It depends, how straight of a line can you walk?" Ashton came over and helped you up. Guiding you away from the pool's edge. The groups watched as you tried.

They shared a quick silent discussion. One Larissa wasn't in on. "Y/n you think you could do two more shots and not make an entire flower bouquet?" Liz asked you. "You know you're free to- oh yup! There she goes!"

You had downed the two shots, completely stumbling back. "I want it nice and clean! But first! I want that one over here!" You pointed towards Larissa. Her eyes growing at the attention.

"Move it! You heard the ref! You're over there!" Liz nudged the frozen Weems. "Never tell the ref no."

Larissa didn't keep you waiting. Now standing between your legs, you spun her so she could watch and wrapped your arms and legs around her. Trapping her with you until it was over.

Letting the groups battle it out as thumbs rubbed your thighs. You couldn't help but get distracted. Your head fell to rest near her ear. Eyes still staring at the game.

"Did you know, that the dress and the whole thing I was doing, was because, and you might not know this, but I really REALLY like you. And I know Liz set it up so we could be together cause I truly think she's always known. So I really don't know why she acted so surprise the night I told her, then she unintentionally told you. Oh my God! You've known?" You came to realize the already known.

Someone fell and the competition was over. Meaning it was time for you to thrown your ultimate winner for the night.

You had everyone gather around, knowing this would be the ending of the night. "Right! I can't even like see, but! Tonight we had an insane amount of twists! Our night only get one winner though! And...it is...." You didn't finish before Ro cut you off.

"I swear on my life, if you say Weems." She pointed, knowing that's exactly who you were about to say.

You looked offended. "Well! It was gonna be you, but someone wanted to assume!" You turned away from her. "I declare the MVP of the night to...Ashton!" You pulled out a blown up crown and handed it over. "Congratulations!"

Everyone cheered before starting their goodbyes. You were by Ro and Derek while Liz walked up to Larissa.

Signaling for her to follow her to the other side. "Look, I know you're probably a wonderful person, but I swear on my grave. If one text comes to me or she shows up in my room and just is the slightest bit of sad, you'll be the first person I look at. And tonight, she will just sleep on the couch, I know she will, but at least get her in pajamas. Y/n...Y/n is extremely fragile but will never show it. And when I say fragile, Larissa I seriously mean when she try's to get you to fuck her, you have to do everything to tell her no. But be nice about it, ok?"

The sly fox nodded. What had happened that you were considered fragile?

You saw Larissa come back with Liz. Not sure why the two would've snuck off. Where they talking about you?! Now you were curious to find out.

You had Rob holding you up as you both walked to your roommates. You were handed off to Larissa. A towel was wrapped around, keeping you as warm as possible.

Liz came up to you, grabbing your slightly warm cheeks and making you look at her. "When you get to your room, Larissa is gonna help you change. Then you're going to go to sleep. No funny business, ok?"

You got closer to her. "Did you know she knew I liked her?" You furrowed your brows. Getting a nod and a laugh. "And you never told me?!"

"You were there. Now goodnight Y/n." Liz kissed your forehead. "Seriously, no funny business."

"No funny business, got it! Nighty night Liz." You hummed. Feeling your body get scooped up and held against some source of heat. You felt so comfortable.

In that moment, Larissa didn't believe what your friend said. You look so angelic in her arms. That you could do no harm nor wrong. You were just an innocent thing that needed protection.

She walked you both back in silence. The most noise being the sounds of the resort at night. Soft music playing, crickets singing, and leaves rustling.

Only to set you down when she needed to open the door. Letting you waddle your way to the couch. Missing it completely and falling onto the floor with a thud.

Larissa, had lightly laughed but went to get one of her shirts for you. When she came back to find you, she couldn't. "Y/n, darling?" She called out your name. Getting a distant hum from the bathroom. Lost with how you made it past her. She took in how you were curled up around the toilet already. "What are you doing?"

You simply pointed to the bowl. Knowing she got the message when she knelt down you and sat you up. "Oh, you poor thing. Do you always drink that much to ref?" You nodded. "So you're a social drunk, but when sober a nervous wreck?" You nodded again, this time with a frown. "Well, I'm gonna help you change then it's off to bed."

~T.S~

The morning came. You woke to your name being said over and over. You slowly took in your surroundings. You were laying in the bathtub with a indoor plant being spilled all over you.

Shit. You knew exactly what went down. "Rissa?" You called out hoarsely. A faint smile gracing your lips when she came in. Her hair down and free. The silver waves were everything you expected and all you wanted to do was run your hands through it.

"How'd you even get that plants in there?" She took in the amount fo dirt covering you. "Did you put it in there yourself?"

"God, no. It was probably the vines." You whispered. Scared of talking to loud and hurting your own ears.

Larissa couldn't lie. You looked beyond adorable covered in dirt. And with that fuzzy look in your eyes that was just the hangover. "The vines?"

"When I get nervous, or in this case too drunk, I loose most control over the plants in close areas. And the relationship I have with vines is insane. They love to show up on their own will sometimes. I need you to tell me what happened last night once we got back to the room." You sat up. Moving slowly to get out from under the plant.

Larissa just blushed at you. A small smile forming on her lips. You looked confused at her. "What happened?"

"We got back and you completely blacked out on the floor. You did aim for the couch though. Then you managed your way to the bathroom to throw everything you drank up. Then you blacked out again and I carried you to the bed. Your friend made it seem like you were going to be impossible to handle." The blonde answered.

You stood up fully now, brushing the dirt off you before stepping out. "What do you mean? Lizzie?" You wobbled a bit touching the cold tiles.

Larissa let her hands fall to your waist to steady you while you walked to brush your teeth. "She made it seem like you would try and get me to..."

"Oh! God! No! She does that every time! There's a whole story behind that. No, I don't drunkenly throw myself at people. I don't even do that sober." You shook your head. Shoving the tooth brush into your mouth.

There was some form of a domestic feeling. Larissa behind you in the morning. Her tall figure watching over you. Her hands still on you and holding you steady.

You knew she knew what she was doing. She wanted a reaction from you. But you had better plans. You were going to spend the entire day just teasing this woman.

You finished brushing your teeth, then spinning in her arms. Looking up through your lashes. "We should go to the theme park today."

"Is that what you want to do?" Weems furrowed her brows. "You don't want to go do something else?"

"I got dragged onto this trip, might as well go adventure out with it." You hummed. You lifted yourself onto the counter. Now having the goddess between your legs. Still staring up at her innocently. You were wearing your plan on your face.

Larissa had picked up on the look as well. "What is going on in that little head of yours?" She tilted her head. Coming closer to you.

Fuck. You had no winning chance. No dress to give you confidence, no phone to ask Lizzie for help, it was just you. You and your failing plan because she makes you so nervous and she knows she has so much power. You were going to drag this for as long as you could though.

Your final plan was to have Larissa Weems struggling to keep her hands off you. It was a matter of your next move though. You honestly had to summon the mindset of being drunk. Care free. Not even thinking of your next moves.

With Larissa already leaning in close to you, you figured being closer wouldn't be anymore harm. So you let your arms reach to grab the back of her neck. Pulling her head down closer to yours. Feeling ehr breathing hit your face.

"So much..." You whispered. Your eyes jumping all over her face, lingering on her lips the longest. "Are we going to the parks or no?"

Larissa felt dumbfound with how you left her. She also felt completely flustered. She wanted to have you close again. To feel your warmth radiate onto her. All she could do was watch you walk away.

Although, she was enjoying the unexpected from you. After the many years she's worked with you, you've never been anything other than quiet and kept to yourself. So seeing you finally break that shell was such a relief.

"You're not going to clean up the plant or anything?" She joked. Making you pop in to help the plant back to where it belongs.

She was stuck in a trance at how quickly you worked with plants to get them to look perfect.

Speaking of plants...Larissa came to remember about the petals and flower she had wrapped up and put in her bag. Knowing it would be an adventure with you in the parks now.

You, on the other hand, had already thought ahead of her. You had put the pot back in the living room with a cheeky smile.

When you walked back into the bedroom, you watched the woman search her bag. "Are you missing something?" You faked your innocence. You stood by your bag, pulling out all sorts of outfits.

"Did you-," She spun to face you. Her sentence falling short as you began to fiddle with the hem of the shirt. Pulling it up higher and higher.

You furrowed your brows at her. "Did I do what?" You frowned. You had put your outfit out of your bag and moved closer to her. Peeking into her bag to try and see if you saw anything out of place. "Is everything alright?"

"You are such a different person," she stared at you. "Did you happen to see a white tissue anywhere? It held something rather important."

Giving a shrug, you started to leave her again. "Nope, I've been in the bath tub all morning. What was the such important thing?"

Larissa opened her mouth, but soon it just hung open. You had your back to her as you complete ridded of the shirt. Your bare back on full display for her to take in.

She couldn't help but stare at the ink on you. How it all wrapped around you. Meaning that there had to be more on your front.

Your body moved quickly to get to the bathroom. Robbing Larissa of the sight. And if you stayed around longer, you would've heard her groan of frustration.

You were getting to her faster than she wanted to admit.

In all honesty, you were surprised she hadn't caught onto your little game for the day. Then again, the day only just began.

You did what you needed in the bathroom quickly, eager almost to continue to tease her. The thought made you pause for a second though. Where was this Y/n all that time at Nevermore?

You let the question float to the back of your brain as you stepped out in a towel once more. Your eyes scanning and searching the room for your crush.

Freezing when you finally found her. She stood in front of the glass door. The light giving her an angelic halo. You felt stunned to see her in such a way.

Suddenly your plan didn't seem important. You could only think about worshiping her entirely and not thinking of anyone else. In that moment you had a decision to make.

Get the woman and cave.

or,

Keep playing the game.

Then, a third option came to your mind. Get the woman and keep playing the game.

You moved over to her. Not caring if the towel was the only thing covering you. You stood in front of her and stared in awe. Your hand carefully reaching out to touch her torso. You met her pure blue eyes. Before she could ask what the look was for, you descend to your knees.

Eyes never leaving hers, "I want to worship you with everything I have. My goddess from above. The celestial creature you are. How you have trapped me with your living breath. How you stun me with just being near. How you are unbeatable and have no real competition for my ever giving adoration. But, I cannot cave into the wanting that is you. I kneel before you to show you how ready I am to make you cave for me."

You got back up, lingering hands on her. You backed away with a bowed head. Taking the outfit you had left on the bed and putting it on. Trying to let the fact of Larissa only behind you go.

You finished getting dressed and started working on the small bag you were bringing with.

Larissa had watched you. Watched how you fiddled with small things while thinking. Watching how you completely dropped to your knees in front of her and then played like nothing happened. Watching you as her stomach was twisting in all sorts of ways. Watching you like prey.

You were oblivious to this stare. You wanted nothing more than to hide from her after that. After saying you were willing to deny yourself just to have her begging for you.

But now you put her in a new position. Was Larissa Weems willing to throw out everything she's stood for just to have you? Or was she going to drag it so long that you had to come to her?

~T.S~

After the next three days of teasing went on, everyone could sense the tension you radiated. Every dinner you had with other members of the staff. Everyone could feel it.

"Ok. Y/n, I adore you, you obviously know this, but if you don't just fuck that woman. Because we are walking in this theme park and you two are just teasing each other at every given chance. You're even texting when she's literally three steps behind us. And I know you have no experience cause that's not what you focused on in school, but for the love of god, just fuck her tonight." Lizzie finally said. After you had just looked after your phone for the umptieth time.

You frowned at the last part. You have no experience. "How am I even supposed to ask her? Just like, 'hey we've been teasing each other let's just have sex!' I can't. I dug myself deep into it."

Lizzie laughed at how clueless you were. "Do exactly what you told me you did the other day. But keep it going. You've been playing this game far to long and now you're both suffering. I mean, look at her! She has not stopped that look of she's going to fuck you dumb."

"How do you know that?" You frowned, glancing back to the tall woman who was staring back at you. You blushed and looked away.

"Hun, this is what you're going to do. Tomorrow is either a shopping day or lounge day, its a free day. And so in you're suitcase, I packed you this really cute lingerie. It's white with flowers all over it, you'll love it. So when you go back to the hotel tonight, I'll stall her while you run ahead and change into it. Leave your hair down and use that innocent bare face. And to finally get into ready, sit on your knees on the edge of the bed. She'll be on you in no time." Lizzie planned out for you. Her eyes trained to the ride that you were about to get on.

Which is then how you realized how much you hated the idea of roller coasters. Rob came up and took the seat next to his wife, leaving you to sit with Larissa.

"So what were you and Lizzie talking about?" She leaned close. When you looked back, it gave her some idea of the conversation.

You only shrugged though, feeling vulnerable to the point you couldn't make eye contact like normal. The gates to the ride opened for you to get on. Hands beginning to shake at the anticipation. Tears even began to fill your eyes.

"Darling? You're shaking?" Larissa hummed. You and her sat in the back of the cart that way you would be blocked in the picture.

"Y/n hates rollercoasters." Lizzie laughed.

There was no more conversation as the ride launched. You were screaming through the fear. Lizzie and Rob were laughing in front of you. Larissa was next to you holding your leg that was shaking uncontrollably.

What made it the worse, is that it was in the dark with a few flashing lights. The worst type of rollercoaster.

Finally breathing again once it came to an end. You were quick to stumble off the ride, wanting to get off as quick as possible. The action making everyone around you laugh. Only to increase from the married couple when you turned around and had tears streaming down your face.

"It wasn't even that bad Y/n!" Lizzie got out between laughs. "You've been on worse."

Larissa held her arms open and you hid your face in her. Her hand stroking your hair and rubbing your back. Feeling you shake slightly.

"Ok, why don't we call it a day? We've been putting you through ride after ride. I'm sure most of the kids are either at dinner or at the hotel." Lizzie suggested, watching you nod stiffly.

~T.S~

You had done what Liz had suggested. You were sat on the bed in the white lingerie. Your hands were shaking at the thought.

You heard the door open, then it closed. Everything was moving incredibly slower. Even the sound of all the bags Larissa had falling to the couch sounded slow.

It was slow when you saw the room door opened and Larissa walk in.

The way her eyes took you in. How she stood there and was ready to devour you.

"And what to I owe this?" She raised her brow. "Come here darling."

You did as she said, getting up and stopping in front of her. Head hung low and bowed to her. "My goddess, you owe absolutely nothing. But please let me be yours tonight,' You began to have a whiny tone. Hands reaching out to fist her clothing.

"Oh is the pretty thing finally caving?" Larissa teased you. Hand coming to your face to get you to look at her. Bringing her lips down t your ear, "I like when you talk like that, it makes me want to destroy you."

She pulled her head back and crashed her lips to yours. Moaning at the sweet taste of the ice cream you ate earlier. Loving how it tasted off of you.

She tapped your waist, signaling for you to jump as she would catch your legs. Wrapping them around her waist as she carried you to the bed and sitting down with you in her lap. Kissing hungrily down your next. Leaving all hints and obvious clues that you were hers now.

"My god, darling. You taste better than I've ever expected." She hummed on your pulse point, drawing out a airy moan.

"Thank you..." You couldn't finish as she hummed again on your next. This time sucking hard and making you shake with need.

Your hips shifted, in need for some relief. And Larissa couldn't deny you any longer. She held your waist with a bruising grip and helped you get yourself off.

"You look so pretty dear. Making a mess of yourself on my lap when I've hardly touched you. Tell me, were you that desperate for me?" She whispered close to your ear. Making you cry out in want. "Uh-uh, I want you to use your words. Tell me how good I make you feel."

"Please! God, I need you so bad. Please, please, please," you were mumbling pleads over and over. You were so close already. The knot so tight you thought you might die.

But then all pleasure stopped. You let out a cry, only to be shushed. "Oh don't worry. You'll get your release, but it's going to have to be earned."

You didn't process much when she flipped you over on the bed. Hovering over you now almost completely bare. You let your hand lightly run over her skin. Becoming more desperate knowing how soft it was. Your hips bucked up to hers, moaning at the unexpected feeling.

You looked between you two, drooling at the faux cock that hanged from her hips. Never had you had anything up there, only one person and ever even eaten you out.

Larissa had noticed the shift in your eyes. Picking up the clues instantly and knowing now she would be your first. "If it's too much Y/n we can stop."

"No, fuck no," you panted breathlessly. "Please, I'm positive about this."

"If it hurts, just tell me and we can stop, ok?" She had a whole new aura. The care that radiated off of her instead of the lust. You gave a nod before pulling her into a kiss. "As cute and innocent as you look in this, I think it'd be better to get rid of it before I tear it off you. Or would you like it that way instead?"

"Please, wanna be close to you..." you whispered. Moaning as you instantly felt the fabric rip off your body. The cold air of the room running over your body.

"You're even prettier than I thought you'd be. Do you even know what you do to me? The things you make me want to do to you? You make me insane, Y/n." Her words were bringing you so close alone. "And having you like this right now, god. I'm going to fuck you so dumb, baby. I'll be the only one you can think of. The only name you can even get out of those pretty lips. The one you think who just fucked you so good." She just kept going. Her voice being so attractive to you. "I'm gonna fuck you so good I promise, baby."

She lined up with your core. Collecting your slick as she ran the cock up and down your folds. Stopping at your dripping hole. "So fucking wet for me." She mumbled loud enough for you to hear, but mostly for herself. She finally had you under her and ready for absolute destruction.

Slowly she began to fuck her way deeper. Going in and out constantly until she bottomed out entirely. Both your breathings being heavy. Larissa had her eyes closed. Looking down once she opened them to see the bulge in your stomach now. "Look pretty girl. Look how deep I am in you."

She watched your face as you saw what she was gawking at. You wiggled your hips ever so slightly and moaned loudly. You could feel how deep she was in you. How your walls fluttered around the toy continously.

"Please..." You felt the feeling begin to take over your brain. Feeling that fuzzy state wash over you.

Larissa couldn't help the love that took over her face at this sight. And she wanted to see more. Her hips drew all the way back and then snapped forward. The thrust being deep and hard. You practically screamed. Being silenced with a kiss.

"I know princess, but it'll feel so good once we get going. You'll be so dumb for me. I've always wanted you like this. Since the interview. To be so deep and fucking you like a wild animal. And all the things and stunts you had up that sleeve of yours." Her pace began to pick up at the thoughts. "How you teased me without even trying." She went faster. "Those looks." Faster and deeper. She picked up your legs, giving her a new angle. "The way you complimented me while drunk." The feeling was brutal.

"Please! Fuck mommy!" You cried without even thinking. You had finally given in to the dumb.

The name made Larissa slam into you and hit your sweet spot. "And that name. You wanted to be mommy's little fuck toy didn't you?"

"Yes, yes, your fuck toy." You babbled. "Please mommy, 'm so close!"

"Oh darling, hold out a little longer." She hummed before pulling out completely. Leaving you whimpering at the sudden loss. "Shh, shh you're ok."

Your hips still moved in search for the toy again. "Mommy wants to feel you coming on her cock, is that alright angel?"

"Please, want you." You stared with teary eyes. Not knowing what she really meant until you felt a real cock slip into you. The feeling before having nothing on right now. You cried out for her.

Larissa was still over your body. Moaning in your ear as you squeezed around her. "Fuck baby, you're so tight. Squeezing around me like that." It wasn't long before she began to pound into you again. Slamming her hips to yours. She watched as you began to shake.

"Please...mommy I...I can't," You panted out. Gasping when pressure was added to your clit.

"Come all over me darling, go ahead." She granted. Feeling how you grasped at her shoulders and shook. Holding her so close for grounding. She wasn't far behind you, fucking her warmth into you.

Giving you both a second to breath while she slowly rocked her hips. But then slowly became quickly, and before you knew it she was going for another round. Kissing your collar bone as you dug into her back. Pulling her closer to you with your legs and trapping her in you.

You couldn't even get out that you were close. Crying into her as your body tensed and then fell apart. Letting you become mush in her arms.

"You're doing so good for mommy. I'm so close dear. I'm gonna fuck a baby into you one day, I swear. I'm gonna treat you so well." She straightened up. Moving you both to the end of the bed giving her more force. She stood to her word. Fucking you so dumb you could only say her name. Multiple 'mommy's fell from your lips as she filled you up.

You swore at this point you had blacked out. Listening to your name be called over and over. "Darling you did absolutely amazing." You could hear Larissa quietly praise you.

And for a fool's second, you thought you were done. Until you felt her tongue run up you.

You tried to push her away or yourself away, but you couldn't. Your body wanted her. And as her arms held you down, she devoured you. Tasting the mixture of you both oozing out of you. Bringing you to one more high for the night.

The next thing you knew, Larissa was cleaning you up and climbing into the bed with you. Whispering sweet nothings into your hair line with kisses after each one. Her arms pulling you so impossibly close.

You could feel the twitching cock still. She had one more left in her and you were destined to satisfy her. Even tired to the point you thought you would die, you still shifted onto her.

"You still have more in you," you whispered, Trying to lower yourself onto her. "Wanna make mommy feel good."

"Aren't you just the sweetest, but we've done enough. You're practically about to fall asleep." She chuckled softly. Her hands were resting on your hips as you had managed to slip her back in you. A heavy groan leaving her and a whimper from you.

"Use me, please." You shifted your hips once more. Larissa couldn't tell, but you were spelling things out on her. sucking on her boob at the same time.

She started taking control eventually. Snapping up to meet you in the middle. And it wasn't long again. This time she pulled out and just held you so so close to her.

"Thank you so much angel. You were so good for me tonight." She combed through your hair, lulling you to sleep.

~T.S~

the next morning you woke up second. Looking to meet Larissa's gaze and smiling. "Well, good morning." She kissed your forehead. "Thought you would never wake up."

You hummed and just stared into her eyes. Searching for any regret of last night and finding nothing from her. Making your smile grow ten times.

"Y/n?" Larissa whispered.

"I think I love you?" You had managed. Crawling to straddle her lap. "Yeah, I do. I mean, you've always made me have a hard time not loving you."

Larissa was silent while staring. How could you be so certain? And she weas going to ask, but the kiss you gave her told her everything. So much so that she began crying. The feeling well returned.

"Be mine forever, Y/n." She begged so quiet you swear she would start sobbing.

"Of course, Larissa. You are nothing short of an earthal being I want to worship every single day." You confessed. Kissing away her salty tears. "I'll love you with everything I have because you deserve it all and more."

She laughed at that. "You and your worshipping words, Y/n. Wherever did someone like you learn it all? You're so young."

"It's all to impress the goddess you are." You placed one last lingering kiss to her lips. Only to have your morning rudely interrupted by a knock at the door.

Making you both laugh as you had checkout so soon.

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