#everything is funny at 1 am to be fair...

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters' Favorite Disney Movies

As sort of requested by anon. :)

Anon's request was more for favorite movies in general, but I ran a poll for something more specific, and "favorite Disney movies" won. So here is what characters' favorite Disney movies might be if they, you know, could watch Disney movies.

[WAT SPOILERS IN THE GAVINOR ENTRY ONLY]

1. Rlain: Snow White

Rlain: Personally, I just think that humans should all be named after their dominate emotion, just like those dwarves. Rlain: [Nods at Kaladin] "Stormy." Rlain: [Nods at Renarin] "Reflective." Rlain: [Nods at Lift] "Slippery." Renarin: ...Is "Slippery" an emotion? Rlain: Was "Sneezy"? Renarin: You have a point.

2. Siri: Beauty and the Best

Siri: I mean, it's just so romantic! Siri: Ending up locked inside a mysterious castle due to your dad's actions... Siri: Meeting a guy who seems like a scary beast at first... Siri: But then he turns out to just be a huge sweet nerd who likes books... Siri: Magical feasts... Susebron: Our life is a Disney movie? Siri: That's what I'm saying!

3. Gavinor: Lion King [WAT spoilers!!]

Gavinor: I don't like any movies. Gavinor: But at least the Lion King is realistic. Gavinor: First your dad dies. Gavinor: Then you grow up far away from home. Gavinor: Then you kill your uncle. Great uncle. Grandfather. Whatever. Gavinor: And I never even got a funny warthog.

4. Vivenna: Mulan

Vivenna: Girl with a sword. Vivenna: What's not to like?

5. Elhokar: The Emperor's New Groove

Elhokar: Somehow, watching that film, I thought... Elhokar: I am Kuzco. Elhokar: And Kuzco is me. Shallan: You looked WAY better in woman's clothes than he did, though. Elhokar: Too true.

6. Moash: A Bug's Life

Moash: Just saying. Moash: Quite the message in that film.

7. Vin: 101 Dalmatians

Vin: Disney moves are all so...bright and colorful that they're all pretty alien-seeming to me. Vin: At least this movie has something normal. Elend: Talking dogs? Vin: Talking dogs, yeah.

8. Syl: Little Mermaid

Syl: I mean, I literally did want to be where the people are... Syl: I wanted to see, see them dancing... Syl: Walking around on their (what do you call them?) feet... Kaladin: ...You know what feet are. Syl: Shhh, I'm doing a bit here!

9. Steris: Aladdin

Steris: I suppose I just understand that when a man appears who can take you flying, it's hard not to fall in love with him. Wax: Awww... Steris: Had I discovered that you were lying about everything, though, I would have divorced you immediately. Wax: As is only fair.

10. Tress: Princess and the Frog

Tress: I guess I just feel a kinship with Tiana! Tress: Hard work, cooking, your significant other turning into an animal... Charlie: But imagine if you were a rat too, though. Charlie: We would have been adorable. Tress: W-We could have sat in a teacup... Charlie: We could have sat in a teacup.

11. Nale: Pinnochio

Nale: I enjoy the magic world it creates. Nale: Where lying has immediate, visible consequences. Nale: And a man's conscience is a bug with a hat. Lift: ...You need help, man. Nale: How so?

12. Lift: Robin Hood

Lift: Not only is it a great message for kids about how stealing is awesome... Wyndle: [twitches] Lift: ...but I also think it's funny how everyone's an animal! Lift: Look! I drew all of us Radiants as animals too! Wyndle: ...Everyone is a crab? Lift: It's Roshar. Ain't got a lot to work with.

[diariesofamentallyillfangirl]

Always, Once More

Chapter 1: Lightning, Lingering, and Long Echoes

Bob Reynolds x Stark!Reader

TW: none I think? Light angst, lots of questions but little to no answers (it’s the first chapter tho so yk) mentions of Thanos, Tony’s death. Endgame spoilers?

Fem reader, not proofread, 1131 words.

Author’s Note: ok so this is the first fic I’ve actually ever published on here (we don’t talk about the monstrosities I made at 13 on Wattpad 😭) so yeah lmk how yall like it ig lol. Here you go and I hope you enjoy:

Tick… tick… tick…

You wake to the same sound every day now.

Tick… tick… tick…

A nightmare and that goddamn sound. The same ticking you’ve heard for years- but now somehow different. Not an alarm clock at the table at your bedside. Not seconds passing, but fate pacing. Not a lullaby from childhood- a much more sinister warning.

It’s gotten louder over the years. Faster. An inevitably now as opposed to something you could once shrug off or choose to try and ignore.

Inevitable.

A shiver runs down your spine as the word echoes through your mind- a bitterness in its symphony as it rings in tandem with the ticking. Nothing was inevitable- or so you once believed. Nothing was inevitable until something- someone finally was.

Seven years. Or was it six? It felt like hours some days if you were being honest. It felt like decades too. Everything and nothing all at once. Was that the grief speaking?

Grief.

That’s another funny little word isn’t it? You were grieving your father. Ask anyone and they’d say it was true. Even when you’d walk into a room with the biggest, brightest smile on your face, they’d all shake their heads and sigh. Whispers behind hands. “What a pity. Poor girl. Look at her. She’s so brave. She should be over it by now. So strong. She wasn’t strong enough.” A terrible cacophony of contradictions casted at her like stones every second of every day.

Pity.

Poor.

Inevitable.

Grief.

Tony. Dad.

Strong enough?

Tick… tick… tick…

A warm hand gently brushes against your shoulder as a soft voice says your name in a way that feels too much like home for someone who never had a real one. He’s awake now. Sitting up in bed and worried. “Honey? Are you okay?” Bob asks gently.

You almost smile. Bob does everything gently. His voice, his gaze, his smile, his hands, all of it. Bob was just simply that: gentle.

“Mm okay.” You grumble quietly.

He waits a moment in silence. Like he’s trying to decipher whether you’re lying or telling the truth. Then he huffs. Not quite a laugh- but not really a scoff either.

“You know… you’re usually the one helping me with nightmares. Not the other way around.” He teases gently- testing the waters as his tone tries not to waver too much.

This time you huff. “Am I not allowed to get nightmares?”

He leans in closer, resting his head in the crook of your neck so close he can feel the way he relaxes and smiles as shakes his head softly. “Nuh uh. Not anymore. Not while I’m around.”

“You’re stealing my lines.” You huff again. Not entirely humorous but not entirely humorless either. It’s a strange feeling these days. An inevitable in-between. Your own personal war zone in your head. A no man’s land of memories and what if’s that spin around in constant rotation without fair leaving only very few moments of peace or hope or relaxation or-

“Was it your dad?” Bob asks quietly. You stiffen beside him. “In the… in the dream. Was… was it… I’m sorry I should have asked. I shouldn’t have said anything I-“

“Shhh.” You say softly, turning to look at him. “It’s okay. I’m…” somehow the reassurance doesn’t come out as smoothly for yourself as it does for him. “I sh-shouldn’t have said anything. I-”

“Yes.” You say quietly.

Bob’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion and surprise. “Y-yes? Yes what?”

“It was him.”

“Do… do you-“

“Let’s go back to bed.” You suggest softly, already beginning to lay back down and gently pulling him down beside you, despite the soft rays of sun visible behind the light curtains in your room. Bob hesitated to lay back but soon succumbed to the idea of sleeping in with you. “O-okay.”

He layed back turning on his side and draping an arm over your waist with a sense of familiarity that spanned much longer than you had known each other for- yet somehow not rushed.

You stayed on your back, eyes open looking up at the ceiling. Mind racing with thoughts; some good some bad but all of them deafening.

“You know…” Bob’s quiet voice began slowly, cutting through all the noise in your head. “You could… I mean you don’t ever have to-“

“Bob.” You whispered.

“I-I’m not trying to say that or you know anything like that… but… if you ever want to.”

“Bob.” A little louder but still gently.

“I just… you know I’d listen right? If you ever needed someone to talk to.”

You turned your head to look at him. His eyes were caring and earnest, but with a nervousness behind them too. The same eyes that you’d seen everyday watching you, always nearby and always caring and smiling sweetly. Those eyes that you’d seen in the few good dreams you’ve had before the ticking got louder. A soft smile twitched at your lips as you brought one hand over to intertwine with the hand thrown around your waist.

“I know.”

Relief seemed to wash over him as a calmness softened his gaze allowing him to rest his head back on the pillow. His eyes were still open and staring at you kindly. He was perhaps the only person who looked at you like that anymore: with kindness. But then again it found its way into your mind, overtaking every quiet moment of your life, akin to a ringing in your ears.

“I’m gonna have Max cancel any and all appointments I have scheduled this week.” I tell him with a small squeeze of my hand.

His brow furrows lightly. “W-why?”

I lean my head back against the pillow, inches from his as I smile softly at him. “So I have time to talk to you if I need to.”

A small, white lie.

But at the best price. It was more than enough to quell whatever questions were bouncing around in his brain and end his worries for now. How long the peace would last no one could tell. But for Bob, it was enough to lay his head on the pillow and close his eyes as his grip tightened on you. Not in a demanding or possessive way. It was grounding for him- a reminder that there you were, coupled with the almost promise that there you would stay. For the week at least.

You watched as his breathing evened out and how even as he slept that small sleepy smile seemed to soften but never fade. A warm and wonderful feeling fluttered in your stomach for a moment before you were reminded of why you couldn’t let yourself get fully lost in moments like these. Why you woke up in the first place.

Tick… tick… tick…

[project-deity]

10-foot tall bear chris was wayyy funnier in my head last night when i drew this but oh well

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[cat-soda]

ah :v a resounding unsuccess

[andivmg]

My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

[crystallilytarot02]

A little bit of 18+ MDNI

I wanted this to be compliments from your future partner. But these are more like messages. Bear with me, I am coming back to reading after a while. Hope you will still enjoy it!

Pile 1

Okay, I see a whole story. They know that you went through a lot, and they think you are so strong, but also feel bad because they weren't there for you in the past. But even if you are this strong, they will be there in the future, if you need them. They like your humor and the way your brain works. You will have some inner jokes together. You also have a passionate and playful side, and they will like that too. You can be as silly and joyful with them as you want. They will admire you. I feel balance too, you can be serious and funny too. And it's a good combination for them. Also your body feels balanced for them too, I mean just the right amount of everything, and also your bodies fit perfectly.

Pile 2

A little similar as pile 1. You had some hard things, but you were able to move on, start over, you are strong, ambitious. And you are still kind and have a big heart. Here are some signs of traveling or different cultures, this can resonate with some of you. You don't live in the past for so long, you are able to have an optimistic way to look forward to the future. You are also very talented. I think you have good intuition too. But you don't play dirty, even if you are competitive, you play fair. But your strong will and wisdom will always get you where you want to be. They will love your butt, your back, and if you have any kinks or fantasies, they will love it too. Your chemistry will be insane. You are a gem to them.

Pile 3

You are the sweetest soul in the world. You will be their literal sunshine. It's hard to see the messages, because all I see is deep love for each other. You are kind, but you can be passionate about things you like. Don't give up, you have so many gifts in you. You don't really fight with people but you still can be succesful. You don't have to be loud or very extroverted, you can succeed as you are. You still have a playful, joyful, positive side. You are like a perfect friend. Your smile is the most beautiful thing. You two will be always there for each other in bad and good times too. I feel passion, but it's sweet, gentle. It's a feeling like those cute older couples who still walking while holding each other's hands.

[luvergirl-535]

something like love

part - 1

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 4.1k

c/w - language

a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)

“Will you go out with me?”

When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.

“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.

Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”

“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”

“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”

“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”

Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”

“I’m for real.”

Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”

“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”

“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”

Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”

“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.

Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.

So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.

Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.

“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”

Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.

“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”

“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”

“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”

“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.

Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”

Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”

“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”

“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.

“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”

“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.

“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”

“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”

“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”

“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”

“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“

“I get it.”

Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”

“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”

Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.

“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”

This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.

“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.

“P, I don’t—“

“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”

Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.

“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”

“Yep.”

“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”

Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”

“And why should I help you?”

Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”

Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.

It sounds like hell.

Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.

Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”

She is so fucking gone for this girl.

————————————-

They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.

It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.

Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”

Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”

Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”

“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.

Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”

Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”

“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”

Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”

Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.

“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”

Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.

“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”

Every bone in Azzi’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”

Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”

“So…”

“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”

Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.

Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”

Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.

“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”

“…Okay?”

“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”

Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”

If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.

“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.

“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”

Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”

Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”

“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”

“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”

Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”

Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”

“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”

“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”

Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.

Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?

“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”

Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.

“I think that’s perfect.”

————————————

One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.

“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.

“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”

They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.

“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”

Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.

Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.

“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.

Almost.

Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.

Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?

Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”

This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.

“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”

It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.

If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.

“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.

“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.

“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?

“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.

Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”

Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?

Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”

KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”

“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”

“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.

“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.

“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”

“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”

“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.

During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”

“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”

At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”

“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”

“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”

Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”

Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?

“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”

Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.

“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.

“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”

Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”

For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.

This might be more complicated than she thought.

[ivyues]

Future Hyung-in-Law | 3 | ⋅ Seungmin

Seungmin x Lee Know's sister

As your relationship with Seungmin blossoms, your brother begrudgingly comes to accept it.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

It’s late, the room softly lit by the warm glow of a bedside lamp. You’re lying on your side, facing Seungmin, who’s stretched out beside you. The blanket is pulled up to your waists, and you can feel the comforting heat of his body close to yours. There’s a mix of quiet and unspoken melancholy in the air, though you both try to ignore it for now.

Seungmin is about to go on tour, and it's clear from the way he keeps glancing at his phone that he’s still trying to adjust to the reality of the upcoming months apart. His hand absentmindedly plays with your fingers, his touch gentle as if memorizing every curve and line.

“You know,” he starts, his voice low and steady, “I don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around the fact that I won’t see my girlfriend for months.”

You glance at him, a teasing grin spreading across your face. “Your what?” 

He blinks at you, caught off guard. “My girlfriend?” he repeats, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion.

“You know,” you say, propping yourself up on your elbow, “it’s funny how you skipped an important step there. I don’t recall anyone officially asking me to be their girlfriend.”

Seungmin’s ears turn pink as he sits up a little, caught. “Wait, what do you mean? I—” 

You cut him off with a laugh, “You asked my brother for my hand, remember? Which, first of all, is very outdated of you. But you never actually asked me.”

A sheepish smile spreads across his face. “That’s not fair. I didn’t think you’d care about the formality. I thought it was obvious by… everything we’ve been doing.” 

“Oh, it was obvious,” you say, pretending to sound unimpressed. “But still, kind of bold of you to think you could just skip that part.” 

He groans, flopping back onto the pillow dramatically. “Fine. I’ll do it right now, then.”

You burst out laughing and swat his arm playfully. “Don’t be so lame, Seungmin. The moment’s already passed.” 

He catches your hand before you can pull it away, turning serious for just a moment. “Well, I don’t care if it’s lame. I want you to know how much you mean to me before I go.” His voice softens, and his thumb brushes over your knuckles. “I didn’t mean to skip anything, but I also don’t need to ask you for something we both already know.”

Your teasing falters as the sincerity of his words sinks in. You tuck yourself closer to him, burying your face in his chest to hide the smile you can’t seem to suppress. “Fine, fine,” you mumble into his shirt. “I guess I’ll let it slide this time.”

His laugh rumbles in his chest as he hugs you tighter. “Guess that means you really are my girlfriend then.”

“Guess so,” you reply softly, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence, savoring the last quiet moments before the distance comes between you.

As you settle back, Seungmin shifts slightly, looking down at you with a playful glint in his eyes. "By the way," he starts, his tone teasing, "don't even think about stealing one of my hoodies before I leave."  

You blink at him, feigning innocence. "Who said I was going to steal one?"  

He raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Oh, come on. You’ve been eyeing my navy hoodie all night like it’s already yours."  

You pout, trying to look affronted. "I was not! And besides, it’s only fair – boyfriends are supposed to let their girlfriends steal hoodies. It’s like an unwritten rule."  

Seungmin smirks, crossing his arms over his chest. "First of all, you’re not stealing it. Borrowing maybe, but stealing? No way. Second, I’m leaving for months. If I give it to you, what am I supposed to wear when I miss you?”  

The softness in his voice catches you off guard, and for a moment, you’re tempted to let it go. But the teasing glint in his eyes tells you he’s messing with you.  

You sit up, grabbing his arm and leaning closer. “Okay, let’s compromise. You keep the navy one, and I get the grey one. That way, we both have something.”  

He looks at you like he’s pretending to think it over. “Hmm. Tempting. But what’s stopping you from stealing both before I even leave?”  

“Nothing,” you admit with a mischievous grin.  

Seungmin sighs dramatically, leaning back into the pillows. “You’re impossible.”  

“And yet, you’re dating me,” you reply, already plotting your hoodie heist.  

“Unfortunately,” he mutters, though the way he pulls you closer betrays how much he doesn’t mean it. Later, when you do end up “borrowing” the grey hoodie, Seungmin only shakes his head, a fond smile playing at his lips.

-----

The tour bus hums softly as the members settle into their routines. Seungmin is tucked into a corner, his phone propped up against his knee. He’s quietly face-timing you, a soft smile playing on his lips as he listens to you talk. Every so often, he chuckles or murmurs a reply, his voice warm and gentle.

Across the bus, Lee Know watches with narrowed eyes. He’s not annoyed – more amused – but there’s a hint of exasperation as Seungmin’s fingers hover over his screen, typing furiously the second the call ends.

“Is he always like this now?” Lee Know mutters under his breath.

Changbin, who’s been lounging beside him, follows Lee Know’s gaze and grins. “You mean, texting his girlfriend every five seconds?”

Lee Know scoffs. “Girlfriend. They’re still in that sickening puppy love phase. It’s all cute and cuddly now, but I’m dreading the day they have their first fight.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because,” Lee Know says flatly, “I’m going to have to hear all about it. Seungmin will probably vent to me in the most annoyingly cryptic way possible, and then she’ll want to explain her side, and I’ll get dragged into it whether I want to or not.”

Changbin laughs, shaking his head. “You act like you’re some innocent bystander. If you want them to confide in you, maybe try acting a little less like... that.”

Lee Know turns to him, unimpressed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying,” Changbin teases, leaning back with a smug grin, “if you stop acting like a grumpy cat about their relationship, maybe they’ll trust you more when things actually get tough. Right now, you look like you’re plotting a way to sabotage their cute little love story.”

Lee Know rolls his eyes. “I’m not plotting anything.”

“Sure, sure,” Changbin says, patting his shoulder. “Just don’t be surprised when they go to me for advice instead of you. I’ll be the supportive older brother figure, while you sulk in the background.”

Lee Know sighs dramatically but doesn’t argue further, muttering something about how he’s only teasing because he cares. Changbin just grins, already imagining how Lee Know will handle it when the inevitable teasing turns into actual heartfelt support.

-----

After a whirlwind tour, they finally had a few days off to unwind. With the chaos of the road behind them, Lee Know decided it was the perfect time to visit his parents and catch up with his family. Seungmin, on the other hand, was tagging along – not just for the break but to finally introduce himself as your boyfriend and of course to see you again.

The drive was quiet for the first few minutes, but Lee Know couldn't resist breaking the silence with his usual teasing tone.

“So, ready to meet my parents?” Lee Know glanced at Seungmin, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

Seungmin shifted in his seat, his hands fidgeting nervously. “I’m not nervous.”

Lee Know shot him a skeptical look. “Uh-huh. Sure you’re not. I saw you turn pale when we passed the exit.”

Seungmin groaned, leaning back in the seat. “I just want it to go well, okay? I’m not just your bandmate anymore, hyung. This is different.”

Lee Know chuckled. “Relax. They already like you. Just don’t start blushing every time they ask you about your relationship with their daughter.”

Seungmin buried his face in his hands for a moment, muttering something incoherent. Lee Know laughed, clearly enjoying himself as the car neared their destination.

The car pulls into the driveway, and Seungmin exhales deeply as they step out. Before he can dwell on his nerves, the front door swings open, and you step outside, beaming.  

Without hesitation, you rush to Seungmin, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. He stiffens for a split second, surprised by the public affection, but quickly melts into your embrace, wrapping his arms around you.  

“Missed you,” you whisper, and he smiles softly.  

Lee Know, standing off to the side with his bag, raises an eyebrow. “Wow, okay. Not even an ‘hello’ for me?”  

From the doorway, Lee Know’s mom chimes in, her tone playful but firm. “Minho, don’t tease them. Bring the rest of the bags in before the food gets cold.”  

Lee Know pauses, momentarily taken aback, looking eyes with Seungmin, who was still hugging you, as he heads inside.  

Seungmin suppresses a grin, the earlier tension in his chest easing. If Lee Know’s mom was going to stop her son from teasing, maybe this wouldn’t feel like walking into the lion’s den after all.  

Dinner is lively and filled with warm chatter, your parents asking Seungmin questions that walk the line between teasing and genuinely interested. He answers with his usual charm, and you can tell how much your parents are enjoying this new addition to the family.  

Seungmin sits beside you, his arm occasionally brushing yours. Underneath the table, his fingers subtly graze your hand, and you glance at him with a knowing look. Smiling faintly, he finally lets his fingers slide between yours, holding your hand out of view of the table.  

You bite back a smile, warmth blooming in your chest. Across the table, Lee Know catches the movement. His eyes narrow slightly in mock disapproval as he watches you two, but he doesn’t say anything, letting the moment pass without interruption.  

The conversation flows around you, and you notice Lee Know giving you a slight shake of his head, as if to say, Really? Right here? You respond with an innocent shrug, but his lips twitch into an amused smirk before he looks away. 

Later that evening, the hum of conversation from the living room fades as you wander into the quiet kitchen, spotting Lee Know leaning against the counter with a glass of water in hand. He glances up at you but doesn’t say anything, just raises an eyebrow as if to ask, What now?

You step closer, leaning against the counter opposite him. “Hey,” you start softly, your tone a little hesitant. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Lee Know sips his water, watching you with mild curiosity. “I’ve had too many of those serious talks lately.”

You take a breath. “I just... I know this probably isn’t the situation you imagined or wanted. Honestly, it’s not what I thought would happen either. I didn’t think much of it when Seungmin and I first started texting. It was so casual, you know? No pressure. And maybe—” You pause, meeting his gaze. “Maybe that’s why it worked.”

He studies you for a moment, then shrugs, “I mean, what do you want me to say? It’s fine. Date him. Just leave me out of the details, yeah?” gesturing to where you had been holding hands earlier.

You can’t help but laugh lightly at his bluntness. “Noted. Don’t worry, you won’t be getting any sappy updates from us.”

Lee Know sets his glass down and looks at you with a glimmer of amusement. “Speaking of details I didn’t ask for, Seungmin called me hyung-in-law earlier.”

Your eyes widen for a moment before you smirk. “Well, maybe you brought that upon yourself after all.”

“How exactly?” Lee Know asks, crossing his arms.

You give him a knowing look but don’t answer directly. Instead, as you turn to leave the kitchen, you glance over your shoulder and say with a sly smile, “Thanks for forgetting your bag.”

-----

The teasing rivalry between Seungmin and Lee Know lived on as usual, reasing a peak during a recent group interview. As usual, the questions were light-hearted, but Seungmin’s answers were quick, witty, and sharp, often leaving Lee Know struggling to keep up. Each remark carried just enough bite to be playful without crossing the line, a delicate balance Seungmin seemed to master effortlessly.

Later, during practice, Seungmin’s energy was palpable. He moved through the routines with a focus that caught Lee Know’s attention. He couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that Seungmin was holding something back – something more than just the usual rivalry. It wasn’t defiance, but rather a quiet confidence, as if Seungmin was proving not just his place in the group but that he could meet Lee Know’s gaze as an equal.

At one point, during a break, Seungmin pulled off his hoodie, revealing just the T-shirt underneath. Lee Know, who had been sitting across the room, glanced up at the sound of Seungmin stretching, and that’s when he saw it: a faint mark at the base of Seungmin’s neck, normally hidden by the collar of his shirt. It was barely visible, but the shape and color were unmistakable – a bruise, a love bite, something far more intimate than what he had expected.

Lee Know’s breath caught in his throat as his gaze lingered for just a second too long. He quickly looked away, trying to pretend like he hadn’t seen it, but the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Seungmin and you... were definitely up to more than just hugging and holding hands. The playful rivalry, the extra effort – he understood now. There was something deeper between them.

Later that evening, after practice had ended, Seungmin’s phone buzzed with a message from you. He smiled at the text before sending his reply:

“By the way, you should not mark me if you want a boyfriend who is alive – Just a thought.”

pt.4 | pt.5 | masterlist

[softtdaisy]

venus / Aaron Hotchner

summary. you're begging your bodyguard to tell your code name, little do you know the meaning behind it

words count. 1 956

what to expect. sweet and flirty, brief angsty moment

a/n. @pastelpinkflowerlife i could never thank you enough for putting the idea in my head, i'm so happy to write more of reader and bodyguard!hotch and i hope you will all follow me in this fantasy 🤍

bodyguard masterlist | criminal minds masterlist | F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request

“Gorgeous?”

You heard Hotch’s amused sigh in your back. At least you made him laugh, and that meant a lot considering he wasn’t doing it very often. 

“Why would it be that?” he asked.

You turned around, putting your sunglasses on top of your head, to look at your bodyguard. Just like he did a minute ago, Hotch was still standing right behind you, his eyes hidden by his own aviator sunglasses. But you could swear he was looking straight in front of him. Which was sad, because there wasn’t much to look at.

You frowned and said, “Because I am gorgeous,” in a very obvious tone.

You couldn’t see his eyes going down on you, but you noticed the very subtle way his head tilted while doing so. He was a man, after all.

When you were looking for a new apartment to hide from your stalker, you had different requirements. If you had to spend more time there, at least you wanted to enjoy it. So as well as the privacy, the security system, or the natural light inside, you asked for a pool. 

And you got it. A rooftop pool barely used by your neighbors since most of them weren’t there during the day.

So there you were, lying on a deck chair, enjoying the sun in peace with your bodyguard watching over you. 

You loved the peace and the silence that came with being alone there. You could have easily spent the whole afternoon without speaking, just reading a book and swimming now and then. 

But there was something even more enjoyable in annoying the so-stoic Aaron Hotchner.

“No, it’s not your code name,” he replied. This time, he watched as you turned your head again, your ponytail flying in the air. The thought of grabbing it left as soon as it came to his mind.

It wasn’t easy for him to stay focused when you looked this good in your bikini.

You grabbed your book again, like you did after every refuted proposition you did. The thought came to you while reading this new romance everyone was talking about. The love interest had given the girl some cute Italian nickname that he only knew about.

That was when you realized it wasn’t fair that you didn’t know what your code name was. You were sure Hotch gave you one; it was the procedure. You were dying to find it.

You tilted your head back but not enough to see him. “The singer?”

“Too obvious,” he said with the very same tone.

You tried everything you could think of: something related to your appearance, from your hair to your height or your eye color, a song from yours, or even the city you were born in. But Hotch kept disproving them.

You put your book down again and got up. “The most amazing girl in the world?” you asked, standing in front of him. Even with your hands on your waist and squinting, you didn’t look that threatening. From outside, the situation must look funny with you in your bikini and Hotch in his all-black outfit—a t-shirt and shorts to bear with the weather.

You were quite obsessed with the way this color was good on him. Or how his crossed arms on his chest seemed so much bigger.

His enemies should be afraid of him.

Your body was very much attracted to him.

As for Hotch, he was surprised how you didn’t seem to get tired of this little game. “You realized this isn’t supposed to be that long?” 

You looked down on him before reaching his eyes again, with a little smirk. “Is that what women tell you when they get on their knees?” you said, fluttering your eyelashes. 

This time, Hotch couldn’t contain the smile that appeared on his lips. Of course he should have expected that from you. He wasn’t showing any type of reaction, just like he was taught to.

But the thought of you getting on your knee in front of him right now was somehow very tempting. Nobody around but the excitement that anybody could show up at any moment. Your eyes looking at him, your mouth on him, and his hand in your hair. Yes. Hotch could really experience that. 

This thought would probably stay with him the whole day.

After winking at him, you took the time to walk to the pool. He watched every single one of your movements. How your hips were moving in a silent rhythm only you could hear. The way your legs slowly disappeared in the water. How your arms reached for your hair to tie it higher. How the rest of the sunscreen on your body made your skin even more glowy. And then you dived, like a siren in the water. Maybe that could have been your code name, now that he thought about it.

The rest of the afternoon didn’t go as smoothly. You kept proposing other code names that he all said no to. You kept flirting with Hotch, and you will never know if the red on his cheek was from your comments or the sun—or both. 

Until you had to go back to your apartment because you had another meeting about your stalker. You hated those. Every week, you had to sit next to Hotch, listening to him and his team evaluate the situation. But there was nothing more to say when that asshole wasn’t sending a new threat, but you all knew he would strike at any moment.

These meetings were always some kind of blurry for you. You didn’t listen to most of it, your brain going somewhere else. You would rather focus on something else, pretending to follow the discussion when you were only physically present—not mentally. Most of the time you thought about some songs, sometimes even writing them. And you knew Hotch could tell you were the discreet type, but he never said anything.

Sometimes he was the one you focused on during these meetings. Like today, mesmerized by the subtle tan the sun left on his thighs and arms, the way the hair on his arms seemed to fade with his skin more. By the little redness on his nose that gave him some freckles. Or by his dark hair, messy on his head, that gave you crazier thoughts.

No. You didn’t follow most of the meeting, but you could sing another song about your bodyguard.

Yet, once it was over, you needed to find some comfort. Especially since you found yourself alone in the living room after Hotch left to his own room—still crazy to you that this man was sleeping at the same place as you. 

So you ended up making yourself a bowl of ice cream with your favorite flavors. It has always been some kind of guilty pleasure of yours, doing it on tour when you felt homesick and at home when you felt toursick. And more these days after learning your life was threatened.

You didn’t get to hesitate before making one for Hotch too, with his own favorite flavors.

You had a discussion about this not long after he started working for you. One night when you didn’t flirt with him but were anxious, you ate ice cream on your balcony, and he joined you. Hotch being Hotch, he didn’t reassure you much with words, but his presence was safe enough to comfort you. 

“It might sound so childish,” you explained, with a spoonful of ice cream. “But it’s comforting to eat something you know you like and can’t disappoint you. And ice cream does that to me.” 

You didn’t expect him to understand. But he did. And he told you about what he loved too.

This explained why you ended up knocking on his door with a fresh bowl in hand. When you opened the door, he was sitting on the desk that had been installed for him. You didn’t hear him shower, but you noticed his wet hair and the little drop falling on his neck. You found it funny how he only put on his glasses when he was alone in this room. 

Maybe some part of him thought he looked less threatening with them.

You actually found him just as hot.

“I thought you might need one too,” you offered, putting the bowl on the desk next to his computer.

Hotch’s eyes went down your body, again, from your naked legs to your comfy dress so light it would be easy for him to put a hand underneath. “Thank you,” he replied with a hoarse voice, trying to find composure next to you. 

Sometimes you wished you could sit there and stay with him, chatting about everything and anything. But Aaron Hotchner wasn’t your real friend. You couldn’t pretend he was. Even if you loved teasing him and wished your flirting would give you what you wanted from him.

So instead you simply smiled at him and went to the door just as fast as you came in. 

“Venus.”

You stopped midway. Unsure to have heard right. 

But when you turned around to look at Hotch, his eyes were on you. Still on you. But this time, he was expecting an answer. 

When he noticed the confusion on your face, he added, “Your code name is Venus.”

You couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped your mouth. “The planet?” you asked, leaning against the door. You didn’t know much about astronomy apart from what you learned from school. You tried to search through your memory and your knowledge but couldn’t point out why you would be Venus. Maybe it was their thing in his agency. 

“The goddess” of love and beauty, he didn’t add.

Hotch had been the one to find the name. And the truth was, you didn’t technically need one since he was with you almost all the time—the very few hours spent away were when he had no other choice and someone else was replacing him. He was doing most of the meetings at your place. Sure, it was better for you to have a code name in case of.

His team made fun of him for being incapable of finding you a name. And it was during an event he had to keep an eye on you that he found it. Venus.

You were undeniably one of the most gorgeous women he had ever met in his life—that, he could admit. And Hotch had been working with many, many people in his life. But you. You. It was above beauty; it was your whole charisma. You were charming everyone in each room you came into, and he had a hard time resisting you. Your face was painted in black ink under his eyelid, seeing you in all his dreams. And he knew he wasn’t the only one.

As for the love, Hotch couldn’t deny that you had been nothing but affectionate with him. Sure, sometimes he couldn’t point out if you were nice only to flirt and get him in your bed or if you were being honest. Or both, maybe. 

He had given up on love a long time ago when he started this job. And never in all these years had he ever regretted it or thought about falling in someone else's arms again for something other than pure lust. 

But you. Aaron already knew that a part of him would miss you the day this mission would end. Your beauty, your smile, your touch, your love for him even if he was just the bodyguard protecting you.

So Venus, you were. 

The goddess of beauty and love. 

And desire. He sure had a lot of desire for you too.

Tag List: @kiwriteswords @monzabee @raysmayhem-72 (if you want to be in it, ask me and I’ll be happy to add you x)

[monster-disaster]

I am fully obsessed with Diman the dragon and saw that requests are open so I thought I'd shoot my shot and ask for more of him!!

I love the smut but I also love how domestic he is with the reader <3

I think it'd be so funny if he were all disappointed that the reader didn't lay any eggs after their sex marathon and she's like "diman, babe, light of my life, man/dragon of my dreams, humans don't lay eggs, they get pregnant"

Their dragon hybrid kids would be the cutest I know for sure that poor girlie would get knocked up with triplets lmfao

dragon!Diman x human!Reader Good to know: pregnancy

Previously: [dragon] Diman [dragon] Diman +1 [dragon] Diman + NSFW Alphabet

"Don’t stare at me." Your voice comes out sharper than you intended, laced with a frustration that isn't entirely fair. You can't explain it entirely either.

"Sorry, love," Diman replies immediately, but the weight of his gaze remains. His steady attention presses against your skin, warming you up from the inside out.

"Diman!"

You hear the rustling of the nest as he shifts. His claws scrape against the rough stone ground, and you can feel the weight of his steps underneath you.

"Yes, love?" he asks, amused. He nudges your back gently. His exhale ghosts over your neck, raising goosebumps along your spine. As an answer, his child stirs inside you. Your hand snaps to your swollen belly with a gasp, feeling them kick and stretch.

"Oh," you breathe, eyes widening as another little nudge ripples beneath your skin. "They are awake."

Diman hums. The deep, rumbling sound makes the air vibrate around you. His massive form leans over you, casting a shadow that dims the firelight in front of you. Then, with all the tenderness of a devoted mate, he nuzzles into your belly where his child moves.

A deep purr breaks free from his chest, seeping into your bones. "Mummy is too hungry, huh?" he teases. "Can’t sleep next to that grumbling stomach."

"Hey!" You gasp, scooting away slightly with a glare. "I can’t help it! The midwife’s visit lasted longer than I thought!"

Ever since your pregnancy became obvious, Diman has had no trouble tracking down people; old friends, acquaintances, or those who owe him favors, to ensure your comfort. The midwife’s visit today was the final one before you give birth, a last check to confirm that you and the baby are healthy and that everything is ready. She was thorough, taking her time to examine you, ask questions, and reassure you with a gentle smile. By the time she finally left, after Diman's endless questions, you were tired and hungry.

"That’s a good thing," your dragon reasons. "It means she is thorough."

He is not wrong. The midwife knows exactly how to handle him, wherever they first met, she is not the least bit intimidated by his size, his growling, or his endless barrage of questions. If he gets too overbearing, she puts him in his place with a sharp tongue and a firm hand, something you are more than grateful for. Diman can be a lot, especially now that you are so close to the finish line.

"I know," you sigh, giving the stew one final stir before pouring yourself a generous portion. The rich scent of spices and freshly baked bread fills your nose, making your mouth water and your stomach give another impatient growl.

Without hesitation, you scoop up a steaming spoonful, then groan with satisfaction. "So good!"

You don’t have many cravings, but red meat has become your weakness, something you’d almost be willing to kill for. Well, not you, but Diman. The dragon has taken it upon himself to go out every few days, hunting and bringing back anything that can make you and your baby more comfortable. You are spoiled. Utterly, shamelessly pampered in a way you have never been before, and while you hate to complain, sometimes, it’s a bit much.

Like right now.

"You are still staring," you grumble between bites.

Diman doesn’t even flinch at the accusation. If anything, his eyes gleam with even more warmth. He can't help it. There’s something mesmerizing about the way you sit curled up by the fire, bathed in its golden light, wearing one of those flimsy but comfortable dresses that drape loosely over your form. You can’t sit still, not with the constant ache in your back, but the moment you take that first bite, tension melts from your body. Your shoulders loosen, and Diman watches, utterly transfixed.

"Sorry," he murmurs, though you both know it’s a lie. He isn't sorry. Not in the slightest.

Something primal and urgent stirs in his chest. Seeing you like this, comfortable, warm, and well-fed, ignites something deeper than just affection. It’s instinct. He needs to do more. He has to hunt again, bring back more food, and find the midwife because what if she missed something and-and-and-

"Diman." Your voice cuts through his spiraling thoughts. "I need you here," you groan, reaching behind yourself in an attempt to straighten your aching back. Your already half-empty plate is in your other hand.

"Of course, love." His words are followed by a rustle of movement. His scales drag over the floor, and after a second, you feel his long tail curl around you, pressing firm and warm against your back. It holds you steady, supporting you exactly where you need it. "Anytime," he adds with a hum, settling down beside you. He positions his body just the right way to keep himself between you and the entrance of the cave, even though nobody could take a step inside the mountain without his knowledge.

Silence settles between you, thick with warmth from the quiet crackle of the fire. As you finish your meal, you let yourself sink back against Diman, his body a steady wall of strength behind you. One hand rests on your stomach, fingers tracing slow, soothing circles over the swell of your belly. Any irritation from before has long since faded, replaced by the deep, steady comfort of his presence.

"What?" you ask, a smile tugging at your lips as you watch him still watching you.

Diman exhales, and for once, there is no teasing in his voice, no playful remark. Just raw honesty. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me," he murmurs. "You and the little one."

The words land deep. Your breath catches, and before you can stop them, tears spill down your cheeks in hot streaks.

Your throat tightens as you let out a shaky sniff. "Now you did it! Who knows when I will stop crying again!"

Diman grins, unbothered by your outburst. He nudges your leg with his snout, both affectionate and teasing. "It's fine. I better get used to all the crying before the baby arrives."

"Oh, shut up." If it weren’t for the way your voice breaks, you are sure you would sound more annoyed, but instead, the words come out soft. Fond. Completely ruined by your love for the oversized lizard next to you, all around you.

[somecallmegin]

"The first inkling Kakashi had that something might be wrong with his kids was when he arrived at the academy 3 hours late to find the pink-haired civilian girl systematically dipping senbon in various liquids that he assumed had to be poison, chatting amicably with the two boys, and the loner-revenger-flight-risk was leaning against Naruto’s legs, head practically in the blond boy’s lap while Naruto deftly braided and unbraided the Uchiha’s hair."

Here's the colored version of the fanart sketch I did based on @themidnightguardian 's fanfic called "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me" (chapter 1, first scene specifically). It's a short, funny and slightly unhinged time travel AU I love to read again and again, it always cheers me up.

I honestly wasn't planning on ever rendering the sketch any further, and really thought that I might get out of my yearly Naruto phase soon, but 10 hours on Clip Studio Paint later and here I am. And to be fair, despite everything that still makes me sigh (a desk went missing at some point I think?), I have to admit I'm quite happy with the general feeling & even managed to fix Sakura's face which had been bugging me. Apparently my idea of "poison container" is very much stuck in the cartoon/DnD corner. The text on the posters is absolute gibberish of course.

[welldrawnfish]

So these last few days has been.. Turbulent. DIFFERENT

I think I may be a System? Infact I KNOW I am a system at this point, but Im also not ready to accept that. Well a part of me isnt, and the other parts of me are like… uh duh of course you are. 

*A system in this context refers to the collective consciousness under the DID / OSDD Umbrella, I dont know the correct terminology in all of this, so im so sorry If i I mess up. I don’t necessarily want to give myself a label, there's .. brain scans and stuff I can get to prove it. And I need those, thats the only way I know this is real. But for now, for my own mental health I am treating it as if it were.. “real “ And I dont really know… what to expect…? I want to find something, ANYTHING, on I guess.. Systems waking up? But I cant find it. So I’ll just do this here Im gonna dump out all our thoughts onto some comic pages and we will figure it out.  I had a bit of an awakening roughly.. 5 days ago, and for the sake of convenience gonna use Plural/System terminology - There are alters, I have met them, the have names and personalities and some of them are really fuckin annoying i just want to punch him in his TEETH

Anyways, since the alter awakening moment, my brain has been in TURMOIL parts of me accept this, parts of me dont, i keep feeling like my face is like shifted 2 inches to the right and everything gets fuzzy in the real world. Not that these alters have names like.. Files are getting sorted  into these proper figures and everything is getting explained and figured out. And its making me feel like I'm not me anymore?

Like I always would argue and barter and fight with my own thoughts, but that's the thing, they wer thoughts, voices in my head with just like, distinct personalities. I just saw it as a different part of me?? Figured that was normal.

But now they are.. stronger ? OR maybe because i'm more aware of them and the personalities I can tell whos out now and like.. Obviously they are happy to get some facetime with the world properly?? But like.. Am *I* just aware of it, aware of them now, aware that it is not just *I* but *We* and so noticing it more, I'm resisting even harder? We feel more fractured than ever.

I have a good friend helping me out, another system, I owe them everything, maybe my life. (PLEASE FOLLOW @transpanda-1 BTW THEY DESERVE IT) They had a few amazing tips, but I cant keep bugging them about every anxiety on my mind thats not fair, so I’ll ask the whole community.

I guess what I want to know is.. Like is this normal? Do all systems go through this? What should I expect in the future and how do I make this more streamlined and stop.. Fighting it? I guess?

I thought I finally had myself figured out, just be the girl who makes the funny relatable trans comics… it was simple.

[flaticeball]

a jew review of: nhl team happy hanukkah posts

good evening and chag sameach to my hanukkah-celebrating pals out there on hockeyblr. today i bring you: a non-comprehensive and entirely subjective review from one (1) jewish hockey fan of the graphics posted by various nhl teams in celebration of the first night tonight. i definitely missed some, and some teams didn't post any at all, so it's a bit patchwork. here we go.

vancouver canucks: this is an extremely serviceable graphic. love the blurred dreidels to give the effect that they are spinning. very funny. props for the detail that there is a shadow of the menorah on the ice. straightforward. icemenorah is a themeTM but some did it better than others and this is a classic. 7/10

post continues under the cut for the sake of your dash and mine.

carolina hurricanes: obsessed with what the canes have done here though i cannot comprehend it. the weird techno style textured background. the out of focus magen david around. THE HURRICANES. IN HEBREW. WITH THE LITTLE CANES LOGO THING I FORGET THE NAME OF ON THE HEI? INCREDIBLE. points for creativity. overall baffling vibes. 6/10.

pittsburgh penguins: this is just adorable. you hired someone to draw this. spectacular work, guys. it's giving a bit of 'we browsed the target hanukkah deco section for inspo' but it's too adorable for me to care. it's team themed, it's hockey themed, it's holiday appropriate. love everything going on here. they get points for doing what very few other teams are doing and remembering this is night one, so only one candle is lit. most everyone else is getting a bit a head of themselves. 9/10.

washington capitals: and here we have another edition of the icemenorah, with a minimalist twist. this graphic screams 'oh fuck wait is that tonight' which to be fair is also how i, a jew, felt about realizing tonight was the first night of hanukkah. could'a done more, but it's perfectly fine. 6/10.

new jersey devils: this fucks. it's got devils themes. it's got a cool style. it's got vibes. it's got: more hockey stick menorahs which i am always excited about. that shamash candle is a graphic design nightmare but other than that i am all on board. 8/10

vegas golden knights: i love the gold foil effect and that you remembered there was more to hanukkah than candles, that's nice, as is involving the other affiliates! however. where are the vibes. this is not the vgk wishes you a chag sameach, this is a greeting card i got on etsy. 6/10 just bc i KNOW you can do better. where's the neon, babes.

los angeles kings: oh this is fun. it's icemenorah: WITH A TWIST. the art style is cute, it's got plenty of hockey theme, it's also very obviously LA-y, i'm giving them points for this one. the shadow is insane but that's okay, it's ~stylistic. it's cute. 7/10. UPDATE: definitely AI. boo hiss. 0/10.

montréal canadiens: this is probably my favourite for sheer vibes. you got: levitating icemenorah. you got: action-shot candle lighting. you got: remembering this is night ONE. you got: the implication that the torch is the shamash candle????? you got: JOYEUSE HANOUKKA!!!!!!!! (and like happy hanukkah or whatever i guess). obsessed. it's so funny. it's amazing. 9/10.

[gurggggleburgle]

I think transmale sqh is very funny because you can write it one of three ways + 8 million layers nuance and nonsense

1) holy shit Amab body transmigration. Its not my preferred specs and I would have liked to be taller but hot dog I have weenis, no tits, and depending on circumstances and genetics maybe even grow half mustache before giving up entirely. Now if only the world I was put in wasn't so shit then maybe I could actually enjoy it for a change instead of screaming into the void and begging for people not to kill me. I'm socially male now in every capacity but I'm still having to cry pathetically just so I can be taken seriously and it's not fair man! Can't people just actually respect me, I thought I'd become less pathetic once I got on T not more

2) I transmigrated into my own shitty novel with a cast that I didn't even headcannon anyone as trans as and I still have to get on hormones. Do we even have testosterone? For fucks sake if I have to invent my own hrt because there isn't some bullshit artifacts laying around to fix this I'm gonna scream. Wdym I'm being OOC for not being bio male! System you're the one who put me in here and didn't even do it correctly!!! This isn't fair. I'm literally god and I have to pay to get my tits removed because right now they're as big as my king's!

3) hey system thanks for the amab body but I actually wanted to keep the downstairs plumbing. What am I supposed to do with this? I mean it's great just I kinda wanted an innie not an outy. Hmm I mean I guess I can try topping.

Secret 4th thing) cis male sqh transmigrates looks at himself in the mirror sees afab shit. Looks at system in confusion before asking, 'like are you trying to tell me something because if so it's a weird way to tell me' and then just proceeds to do hrt and it's just another one of the wtfisms he's learned ti live with

I lied here's the 5th) wakes up in ABO from a not ABO universe and sighs because mannnnn gender was hard enough where there were only like what 8 and half answers he was considering. Did you have to double it with all this other bs? Am I just trans masc or am trans alpha? Like what is this? I don't even remember this being an ABO in the OG draft?????

6) was actually afab writing this pretending to be a guy woke up as SQH in a dude bod and kinda just decided to roll with it and hasn't put the braincells together to realize there's a cracked egg on his plate. Cucumber bro asks him one day why he knows so much about girl shit and tampons because he had sister so it makes sense and Airplane just goes oh wait didn't I tell you? I was a girl before coming here and that sets Shen Qingqiu off because he's like you wrote misogynistic male fantasy drivel and you don't even have the excuse of never having spoken to a girl!!!!!!!!! And airplane is just like 'it's called market pandering and women also hate women too bro.'

Honestly the possibilities are endless and very funny because no matter what the gender euphoria/dysphoria/everything else is always outweighed by the deep burning hatred of paperwork

[superhellstiel]

The Season 8 Destiel Meta Post Nobody Asked For (and why I think the writers had a Destiel endgame option in mind for season 8)

Okay, so here's the long version of this post that almost nobody wanted, but I'm writing it anyway. This is LONG. I'm sorry. And I want to start with it seems like s8 is polarizing, but I rather liked it, and I think it's because I live in the (delusion?) truth of this theory. Stay with me if you want to Believe too. I think Season 8 was written with two possible outcomes in mind; and with an endgame Destiel being the more likely of the two that the writers anticipated. Sounds insane, I am aware. You will need to stick with me here and extend some trust, but I promise I can show my work.

We need to set the scene: It's 2012. We are launching headfirst into the height years of tumblr fan culture. Gangnam Style grips the nation. Destiel is huge in fanfiction & tumblr land. However, interestingly, we're about two years past show's peak. Already once SPN was slated to end with S5's natural arc conclusion, but it didn't-- it was renewed because it was making the CW money, simple as. They have pushed on into the Sera Gamble era with Seasons 6 and 7, which have their respective flashes of brilliance, but all-in-all generally struggled to find footing in the post-Apocalypse Supernatural verse that was never actually planned for. It's pretty evident that the writing and plotting isn't nearly as tight as S1-5, simply because 1-5 was all mapped out from the get go.

It's been interesting returning to the fandom after a decade, because I'm finding a lot of people now who really liked Season 7. No hate, to each their own, and maybe it was just the circles I was in at the time, but in the moment S7 wasn't received well at all. It felt like they kept inflating the "big bad" to heights that sometimes struggled to get fully fleshed out (which, to be fair, continues to be a writing problem going forward). And while watching S7 in Netflix binge-mode it doesn't feel quite so bad, at the time having a year's worth of your fave TV show where Sam and Dean are systematically and pointlessly stripped of everything that gave the show its signature personality was nothing short of torture (killing Cas, the Impala, torching Bobby's place, killing Bobby), all in the name of more man-pain. All of that punctuated with a lot of filler episodes that felt like more misses than hits, the absolutely insufferable Amy Pond plot, and dick jokes just because the writers thought it was funny.

Everyone's opinions on S6-7 aside, though, Supernatural wasn't landing financially for the CW either. Season 5 aired on Thursday nights, which is a fairly well respected time slot for established and successful shows, but with Season 6 and 7 we see a demotion to Friday night, 9 PM ET. This is basically the kiss of death for a cable TV show. You sent your shows to Friday night to die. The CW was looking to the future with newer shows and the writing was on the walls that this circus was probably wrapping up soon.

However, in true Supernatural fashion, it wouldn't fucking die. Honestly, and I can only speculate here, I imagine such a die-hard and still-growing fanbase coinciding with a huge spike in social media + ease of access to fan spaces with the surge in commonplace smart phones/laptop computers is probably what kept performing CPR on this show.

So along comes season 8. The show is being passed to Jeremy Carver and Ben Edlund as a returning writer to head up the show. Other people have discussed the Sera Gamble era in depth, but what you need to know here, basically, is that the Carver/Edlund mind are ones that a) have not shied away from queer themes and b) are a lot of those Destiel classics. We're talking Ghostfacers, The End, My Bloody Valentine, On the Head of a Pin, The Man Who Would Be King (Carver), and Free to Be You and Me, Point of No Return (Edlund). Essentially, Sera's philosophy tended to be "strip it back to just the Winchester brothers" and Carver & Edlund were generally more open to having the surrounding cast of supporting characters. And these two definitely don't shy away from Dean & Castiel's relationship.

Here is where my theory gets a little speculative: I believe this is the point where where SPN was given one last hail mary by the CW. New writers and a Wednesday night slot, you have one more chance to make this work, otherwise you're getting the axe. It was renewed pretty late, in early May of 2012 (compare to S6 being announced Feb 2010). S7 had barely scraped its renewal in late April the year prior, too.

Okay, so let's put ourselves in that position for a moment as showrunners sitting down in the Supernatural writer's room in May of 2012. There are two things that might happen: 1) you just might pull it off, and you do such a good job you pull the show from the proverbial grave or 2) you don't pull it off, and you need to make sure the show ends on a satisfying note that wraps things up neatly. And you need to write and film a season that, until you get the yes or no from the CW, can do either and both or neither, and you may need to pivot in one direction or the other pretty quickly while you're filming the back half of your season.

Enter the Destiel endgame theory, which I believe was their scenario 2. Time to introduce the exhibits from the season.

General: Flashbacks. I wish they'd explored Purgatory more too, but it would've taken up too much time if they might have to fast-track a series finale later. (Also Amelia should've been all made up in Sam's head to cope with losing Dean but again, different post. Maybe it became a time constraint to explore too much too, if they thought the show might be ending.)

The evidence:

8x01 We Need to Talk About Kevin & 8x02 - & What's Up Tiger Mommy? We get flashbacks of Dean tearing Purgatory apart to find Castiel. When he finds him, he makes it clear he's coming back to Earth with him.

8x03 - Heartache- This episode focuses on the love between an immortal being and a human.

8x05 - Blood Brother - Benny/Queer Dean discourse deserves its own post. You can take or leave this one for this post's theory.

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin - 1) Dean is clearly hiding a boner when Cas gets out of the shower? 2) We introduce that Dean is deeply upset that Castiel didn't make it through the portal-- to the degree he's faked an entire memory because he'd rather it be his fault Cas is gone than have been abandoned by him

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici - Castiel wants to join Dean as a hunter; we're beginning to establish Castiel's genuine desire to spend his life with the Winchesters. This is then juxtaposed when Naomi forces him to stay away at the end of the episode, further telling us this is Cas' desire vs. Heaven's.

8x11 - Larp and the Real Girl - This is mostly a fun episode, but it's an example of queerness being gently nudged to the forefront of plots without immediate dismissal or being the butt of a joke-- rare for SPN at the time.

8x13 - Everybody Hates Hitler - Ah, the Aaron "He was my Gay Thing" moment. Dean leans all the way into the flirting. Does not give the "don't swing that way" speech, gets flustered, is at a loss for words. He appears disappointed later when he was wrong. This has little precedent on the show when Dean's been perceived as gay, he usually dismisses it very quickly.

February 11, 2013: Supernatural is renewed for season 9, a week after Everybody Hates Hitler airs.

Per these estimates, 8x18 is the next episode to be filmed post-announcement, beginning 2/12.

8x16 - Remember the Titans - A Forbidden Love plot. You can take or leave this one for this theory.

8x17 - Goodbye Stranger - OK, here is our inflection point for editing, in my opinion. The last month of eps, more or less, have been pretty trials-centric or one-off. This episode airs 3/20/2013. At this point, we know we're getting a season 9, but we've been building with all of the above, and this ep was filmed pre-S9 announcement... so much so that we have an "I love you" in the original script for the infamous crypt scene. I fully believe it was filmed and edited out in post.

Second, Castiel turns the walls of Naomi's office/lobotomy lounge the bi pride colors during the crypt scene. Someone on the crew at Supernatural literally tweeted that morning to be on the lookout for special choices in Naomi's office. It was very intentional. Why else pick these colors and declare they're intentional? (I have searched up and down for this tweet but it was rare i was there i remember it [the tweet] all too well please trust me)

UPDATE: Tumblr hive mind found it and it was Jerry Wanek saying they were… crosses? In the intersecting lines in the windows? (that's how lines work? lol) And it was amidst a spell of saying fans were reaching in their analyses, and though some of his replies have that tinge, it's not direct about the color commentary. I never saw the back half of that saga or forgot about it, didn’t mean to misrepresent anything! Either way I’ve been corrected but that office is still bisexual and you can’t tell me otherwise

And don't get me started on the "unicorn" stuff, that one person you'd throw everything away for (but I understand this can be interpreted in many ways) However, the season is renewed, we've picked the path they never thought they'd actually pull off-- now we've got to backpedal this Destiel just enough to not impact our precious CW bottom lines, but not piss off our faction of fangirls who watch to ship.

8x20 - Pac Man Fever - Charlie tells Dean she thinks Castiel seems "dreamy". Charlie is very gay and would only say this to elicit a reaction from Dean, we don't really get much of one. Again, lack of a "speech" on his sexuality.

*Note 8x18 Freaks & Geeks and 8x20 Pac Man Fever are filler eps, I think they could've been pulled if we needed the extra time to sprint toward a series finale*

8x21 - The Great Escapist - 8x23 Sacrifice- We hit a real fast escalation toward the season finale from here. I actually think this overarching plot was more or less always the idea for the ending, but how exactly it was executed depended on the renewal status.

The Alternate Series Finale Ending (That I believe they thought they'd have to do when they wrote it): If they hadn't gotten renewed, we are set up for Sam to close the gates of Hell and Metatron to use a spell to close Heaven using the heart of a nephilim (product of human + angel love), the bow a cupid (an angel that arranges love in humans), and the grace of an angel in love with a human. Hell and Heaven shutter up, Sam dies, and Dean is left with a human Castiel who has, for the better part of the season, already been "testing out" being a hunter alongside Dean and has literally moved heaven and earth to have this. He will not have to be the immortal doomed to love a human, as in 8x03, or have the forbidden love of 8x16; we receive resolution on those subjects for our heroes that the monster-of-the-week characters did not. They resolve their feelings for each other, because if we kept Dean's crypt "I love you" and we establish Castiel's grace was in love with a human... well, what else is there to say? (Oh, yes, and they did exactly this and pulled the Destiel trigger in S15 when it was all ending.)

The Actual Ending (That I think they got surprised about the renewal and had to do): Backpedal. Edit. Only drop little subtext again. We just need Castiel's Regular Grace TM for this spell. We can keep selling merch and con tickets and get views if we appeal to the widest audience possible, and we're not taking risks now that we've performed a literal miracle rescue from a Friday night 9 PM slot.

And once we start Season 9, we get a LOT of being hit over the head with Castiel & Dean's Heterosexuality TM, so much so it's awkward and even out of character. (Human Cas sighing about boobs in early s9? Like please. Get real.) It's a HARD left turn, but it makes more sense if you consider it all in the context above. I just don't think they'd have gone in so hard on the bullet points I listed if they had thought Season 9 was in the bag.

TL;DR: I think we might've had Destiel in 2013, but if we had, we wouldn't have also had the rest of the seasons. Whether or not that's a good thing is up to you, but I think it was a combination of a lot of external factors, capitalism, and, well, it being 2013, sadly. I think they were cowards about it, but at the same time, even the writers probably weren't pulling every string, they also needed to answer to other agendas. Television is a medium that is rife with the push and pulls of a thousand factors that aren't the pure story. Idk how to really wrap this, but this has been over ten years in the making so enjoy the fruits of my brain rot.