#everything is over anakin’s dumbass

[hore4women]

Obi-Wan: When aren’t you making another stupid decision?

Anakin: I’m not stupid, I’m dumb. There is a complete difference, Master.

Obi-Wan:

Ahsoka:

Padmé:

Rex:

Cody:

Windu:

Yoda:

The entire Jedi order:

His unborn children:

Count Dooku:

Qui-Gon Jinn:

Palpatine: Why did I even spend THIS much time to try and turn him again?

[sswiftiestars]

Professor!anakin aaaaaaa

professor!Anakin X fem! reader

warnings: SMUT. kinda big age gap (12 years. ani is 32 you’re 20), more of a jerking off headcanon, sexting, dilf! anakin is mentioned, padmes death at birth mentioned.

a/n: idk how college works so if it doesn’t makes sense, that’s why. sorry babes :). also, i imagine him to look like a mix of clay beresford and Stephen glass in this.

not proofread

You sit in your english class, in your sophomore year of college, as your teacher, Mr. Skywalker, was speaking in the head of your class.

you often found yourself staring at his dirty brown curls a lot, instead of listening to whatever dumbass lecture he was babbling about.

You’d also think about how it’d feel if his hands were knuckle deep inside your pussy, but, you also thought about what it’d be like for his hopefully huge cock to be down your throat. you thought about it as you endlessly fucked your self with your slim fingers, whining to yourself because it wasn’t enough.

and..little did you know, so did he.

..Anakin isn’t a…romantic guy, that’s for sure. during sex, i mean. he takes what he wants. Anakin would rather face fuck a girl till she cries, rather than taking it slow and placing soft kisses on her neck.

Sure, he can do that, but he doesn’t like to.

Anakin often stayed up late at night, fucking his fist like there was no tomorrow. he usually thought of his late wife, Padme, who unfortunately passed during child birth.

but..that changed. ever since he saw you for the first time in his class..everything changed.

“y/n, are you listening to me?” your professor asked you, your class all turning their heads at you.

you felt anxiety bubble up in your head, and chest.

you clear your throat, “yes sir.” you murmur out. Anakin nodded back at you with a slight smirk before returning back to his lecture.

Your best friend smirked at you from across the room. She knew how infatuated with him you were, because you’d tell her all your unhinged thoughts about him. you rolled your eyes jokingly in response, but deep down, you knew you’d be fucking yourself thinking about that stupid smirk of his later.

When the bell rings, you pick up your stuff and right as you’re about to leave the classroom, Anakin calls out to you.

“Not so fast, Y/n. cmere.” anakin says with a slight grin on his tan and freckled face. you wasted no time and walked over to his desk and tilted your head slightly out of curiosity.

“Listen, y/n, your grades are slipping.” he reminded you, anakins face turning serious.

“I- yeah, i know..” you mutter back in response, your face turning a bit red out of embarrassment.

“Do you need to start staying after class?” Anakin cleared his throat and leaned closer to you.

“Yeah, maybe.” you said, your breath hitching ever so slightly at his request, “—but not today, i have some things i have to do.” you lied, to tell the truth, you really needed to get to your room as soon as possible so you could fuck your self silly.

he smiled, “Alright. sounds like a plan.” Anakin nodded, “i know this isn’t the most professional thing to do, but here’s my number so we can schedule a tutoring session.” he murmured with a chuckle as he handed you a post it note with his number on it.

You quickly took the post it and nodded, “Thank you, Sir.” you said as you walked out of the classroom.

Later that day, well, night now.. it was around 8:00pm when you texted your professor,“Hey! it’s y/n, just letting you know this is me, text me when you think of a day we can schedule a tutoring session next week!”

he wasted no time at all with a quick response:

“hello, y/n! i’ll make sure to let you know. Side note; start paying attention in class instead of daydreaming. it might help you out a bit.”

you rolled your eyes to yourself, “I don’t daydream. not at all.” you text back teasingly, but making sure to keep everything as normal as possible, since he was your professor, and all.

“keep talking to me like that and you’ll see what happens.”

oh.

Oh.

“is this fucker flirting with me, or am i delusional?” you say to yourself.

“i’ll talk to you however i want. over text, at least.” you respond, hoping you’d get a bold text back.

well, your dreams came true.

“I think that mouth has better uses then talking,y/n”

“Oh?” you replied, not expecting his response like that at all, “andddd what would those better uses be?” you added.

“Probably sucking my cock.” Anakin texted you, trying to ignore the absolutely huge hard on that was straining his sweatpants.

your jaw dropped to the floor and you turned bright red. why would he say that? he’s your teacher, not your boyfriend.

“that’s not very appropriate.”

“I don’t care if it’s not “appropriate”, sweetheart. You want me and i want you too.” Anakin texts you, and starts to pull his hard cock out. Before you really get the chance to reply, he sends you a photo of him palming his hard cock, leaking pre-cum from the pretty tip.

You bite your lip when you look at the photo, feeling yourself grow wet at the sight of his huge length.

“See how bad i want you?” Anakin taunts over text message.

You waste no time to quickly take off your clothes, leaving yourself in your lace bra and underwear. you take a photo of your tits and some of your hips.

You send the photo to him, and the second he sees it, Anakin immediately starts to pump his cock.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck-“ he moans, as he looks at the photo. “Gonna’ cum all over your tits-“ Anakin mutters to himself, and let’s out a little whimper. Anakin continues s to fuck his fist and after a couple more minutes, he cums on his phone screen, onto your tits.

He quickly realizes what he’s gotten himself into, and a wave of guilt washes over him.

“Fuck. i’m gonna get fired for this.”

[gffa]

Character Ask Game: Obi-Wan Kenobi, 4 8 &12

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? Obi-Wan is one of those characters that probably has been in all those other media and, of course, I always want more of him, but I think if you offered me the chance to have one new Obi-Wan project, it would be: A Star Wars Holiday Special: Obi-Wan & Anakin, where they get Ewan and Hayden to do a 45 minute special about their time as Force Ghosts, as they look on over Luke working to find Jedi artifacts, talking with him when they have the spiritual energy to pull together for it, while they look on over Ahsoka trying to process her feelings about Anakin even after all these years, while they watch over Grogu as best they can while he tries to find his path in this world without the Jedi. It would be half-serious, talking about Anakin's choices and how he had to learn to let go, that that's what it means to be a Force Ghost, you have to let go of all the hate and the rage and the fear and the guilt, that it's not about blame, but about delving into Anakin's mindset, about delving into Obi-Wan's mindset, how they both had to learn to let go of everything they were carrying around before they could move on. Obi-Wan had to do that during the series of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin had to do that during Return of the Jedi, and I'd love to see them have a conversation about how they want to help Ahsoka do the same thing. Bonus points for filming a scene of Obi-Wan watching as Vader threw Sidious down the reactor shaft and the light dawning on his face that, oh, his Padawan is coming back, that he can reach out his hand as Anakin dies, with a genuine smile and say, "Hello again, old friend. Let me help you over." But then it would be half-silly antics where they're basically Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo just roasting the hell out of all the dumbass shit they have to put up with in this galaxy. Bonus points for Anakin giving Obi-Wan the once over after they see Luke at the party on Endor's moon: "Wait, why do you look like that? Why aren't--" "I appear as the person remembers me, as they most need me to appear." "....so are you saying that everyone NEEDS me to look like the hottest holonet star on--" "[dryly] Apparently so." 8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? Taking away his love for and belief in the Jedi ways. Obi-Wan's entire ultimate purpose is to be the contrast to Anakin's character, to be the wise Jedi mentor who doesn't have to be perfect, but is generally correct, that his purpose is to show the path that Anakin should have been on. But also, just straight up as a character, Obi-Wan loves the Jedi, that's his culture, his family, his people, he believes in the methods of the Jedi, he believes in the philosophy of the Jedi, he lives and breathes as a Jedi. And it's made him the person he is, he cherishes that, that he can regret that there isn't room for other paths in life, but that he doesn't regret the path he's on as a Jedi, that even when he considered other paths, it was with the full respect for what being a Jedi means. Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Jedi, and even if he might choose another path for himself, he always, always believes in what it means to be a Jedi, he believes that path is valuable and sacred. Taking that away from his character just fundamentally is not who he is imo.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character? Obi-Wan Kenobi is an absolute monster when it comes to playing cards. He has perfected his bland, unreadable face and sleight of hand, so you can suspect he's a dirty rotten cheater at cards, but you can never prove it. He will absolutely murder anyone and everyone at sabacc and never give away the game, he'll just blandly look at you and pretend to be losing, all until he's lulled you into a false sense of security and then he'll rob you blind and probably leave the winnings in the pocket of someone asking for change on the street. He's an absolute bastard to play cards with and Quinlan and Anakin both straight up refuse to do it anymore because it's so infuriating.

[anakinsgirlfriendreal]

Parts Of The Truth

Masterlist

Chapter Seven

Warnings:18+ mentions of drug abuse, reader has family issues, mature discussions, smut, foul language, infidelity.

It had been a calm couple of weeks; your friendship with Padme was going rather well, you actually looked forward to conversations with her, it scared you how easy lying had become. However, you quelled your conscience by taking comfort in the fact that not everything was a lie; you were just telling her parts of the truth, yeah that's better than nothing you told yourself.

"Okay baby, but no sweets alright and be good for your grandma you copy?" You speak into the phone, Darcy had asked to sleep over at her grandmother's house since two of your younger cousins were staying there, she wanted to play and you were worried about spending the night alone.

Exiting your car, your eyes fall on the figure seated on the steps Infront your house, "baby, mama has to go okay love you." You hung up making your way closer, a worried smile formed on your face, as you register the person to be your sister.

"Grace- I you're out," you took in her appearance, the DOC hoodie proof that at least she didn't escape. She had gone away for seven years on drug charges and every day of those seven you had promised yourself you would go see her; a lie.

She smiled, "yeah...I'm- I'm free."

You smile, "you look really good Grace"

"I feel good, you know...listen when I got released, mom said to give my parole officer this address, it's here or a shelter." She plays with her fingers, a nervous habit you both had.

You took a deep breath, unsure of whether to trust her and also angry that your mother would just volunteer you to babysit your big sister, like your life wasn't stressful enough. You sat next to her on the steps, "Grace- the last time you said you felt good and that you were gonna get better; I found you passed out and in your own vomit on the bathroom floor-"

She cuts you off, "Yeah but this is different, I joined a group, I got a PO- I don't wanna go back to prison okay, you got nothing to worry about."

Running a hand over your face you sigh, "Okay look, I have a life alright, I have a job and a baby- if you fuck this up you're out"

"I know, mom told me, she showed me pictures when she came to visit, Darcy right? She's beautiful." She looked at you, "...I promise, this time is different."

You rest your hand on hers, desperate to believe her, she was troubled yes but she was your sister and she got the shorter end of the stick growing up and you'd always felt guilty about how her life turned out. "Okay. Let's go inside." She leans into you, her head resting on your shoulder for a moment, just like old times.

"You can stay in the guest bedroom, it's the last door down the hall." You shrug your coat off leaving it on the back of the couch.

Grace nods, looking around "This place is amazing, that job must pay well huh"

"Something like that" you give her a tight smile, getting yourself a glass of water, she sits on a stool at the kitchen counter.

"Mom said that you're seeing some rich guy, Darcy's father." She gives you a curious look. Of course your mother would happily air out your business, "who is he?" She looks amused.

You smile, contemplating on whether to tell her, "Uh, his name is Anakin."

Her eyes go wide, "like Skywalker Anakin? Like the one responsible for all those energy plants?"

Your brows furrow, "You know him?"

She scoffs, "The guys like a millionaire and plus we have tv in prison dumbass"

You chuckle, "right."

"So a business man hm? Nice" she raises her brows.

You take a deep breath, "yeah well, we'll see about that."

"What does that mean?"

You hesitate, she tilts her head, "oh come on, you can tell me. I'm your sister"

You sigh, "he's...married"

Her eyes widen and she laughs, "fuck out of here? Are you kidding?" Her eyes scan your face for a hint that you're joking.

"Holy shit" she laughs, sitting back against the stool and folding her arms.

You roll your eyes yet you can't help but smile.

"You know, you were always the luckier one between us, everyone likes you more, our mom, guys, everyone. You're prettier and you're smart, you always were. Now here you are; miss fancy pants."

You look at her, that guilty feeling rising again, she was right. Life had been kinder to you than it was to her, but you figured; she chose the life she was living, she chose to drop out of school, to follow her junkie boyfriend and his friends but then again, like she said; nobody had really cared for her or sheltered her like they did you, she was left on her own and forced to grow up.

"I'm sorry Grace," you mean it.

She breathes in, looking around again, her teasing demeanor returning. "So your oil daddy Anakin, he must love you a shit ton."

You burst out laughing, "Oil daddy??"

She shrugs smiling, "It's true though right? I saw some press conference he did...a few of the COs in prison have the hots for him, he has that kind of educated, smooth charm. So oil daddy is suitable."

You shake your head smiling.

"So the wife, you know her?" She waits for an answer and when you don't give it to her, she dramatically drops her head on the counter and laughs. "Don't tell me you're friends." Of course she knew, she could always read you, since you were both little.

"Alright enough" you wave her off.

She gets up heading towards the guest room, she stops, turning back to you for a moment, "You know I kinda always thought that between the two of us, I'd end up being the one knocked up with no ring."

Her words were harsh yet not surprising. You had expected her to harbour some bitter feelings towards you, whether she said it or not, she felt like you owed her, for stealing a life that might have been better were you not born at all.

An hour later Anakin stopped by, not to check on Darcy but you, he knew she was at her grandma's and he just wanted to make sure you were alone no undesired company. You watched as he looked around the house, an annoyed expression on your face. "What you worried I'll cheat on you? Wonder where that fear came from."

He chuckles, "That's funny. Who's ove-"

"Ah, I thought I heard voices" your sister interrupts, you watch as she introduces herself to him, wearing your clothes; your tank top and your shorts, she smiles at him. "You're a lot more handsome in person than on tv"

Your brows furrow, your tongue poking your cheek, thumb squeezed in your palm, what is she trying to do right now, you think. He looks at her, that stupid smirk on his lips, "You're too sweet" he smiles, the same smile he gives you when he's trying to charm his way into your pants for the millionth time. You resist the urge to slap him across the face; why are you even jealous right now? Like he wasn't married when you met him.

You watched as he entertained her for the next hour, the way she practically threw herself at him, laughing at his jokes which you could bet your life she didn't get, the way she leaned in, 'intrigued' as he went on about business. When she decided to call it a night and head to bed, you stomped to your bedroom like a spoilt child. Stripping down and getting into your pjs you try to slam in the dresser drawers but the damn rollers had other plans. You huff climbing into bed not saying anything to him for a moment, you roll over looking at him, he was all smug, leaning against the doorway, brows raised, clearly amused by your antics. "You look like an idiot," mentally you ridicule yourself for the weak insult, he chuckles, walking towards the bed, he shrugs off the jacket of his suit, and lays next to you, kissing your cheek. You push his face away turning your back to him.

"why don't you go kiss her and built her a house and get her pregnant and control her life" you realize how stupid and jealous you were being but it doesn't stop you. He laughs, pulling you on your back, positioning himself over you.

He shrugs, "I don't know, she not really my type." You see the amusement in his eyes, a small smile forming on your lips.

"You're an ass"

He nods, "so people keep saying." He's quiet for a moment, his hand coming to brush stray hairs from your face, tucking them behind your ear. "I'm not interested in your sister." He undoes he first button of your pajama top, placing a kiss between the valley of your breast.

"Well she's interested in you" you say, testing him. You were almost certain you weren't his only, and you hate to say the word but mistress.

"I don't care," he undoes another button and another. "It's you for me," he kisses over your breast.

"And Padme?" You ask.

He bites the top of your breast a bit hard and you gasp, swatting him away.

"I don't wanna talk about her, not right now, not when I'm with you." He kisses your lips, hungrily, pressing himself into you, he dips his head down, pressing a kiss to your neck, inhaling the scent of your perfume mixed with your lotion. "Not when you're so beautiful," he whispers, his hand creeping into your shorts pulling them down and pushing your panties aside, you moan when his finger grazes over your soaked cunt. "Not when you're so wet, so ready for me. Always ready for me," he kisses you again, his finger dipping past your folds, pumping into you slowly before he adds another, your eyes flutter shut, a needy moan leaving your lips. He trails kisses down your body, sucking hickies on your breasts and down your stomach. He plants kisses on your thighs, slowly making his way to where you needed him most, he looks up at you, his eyes soft, a mischievous glint in them, just as his lips ghost your glistening your heat, his phone rings. You groan throwing your head back.

"you have to be fucking kidding me."

He pulls away, and you whine. He presses the phone to his ear. "Hey honey." Of course it's Padme, his voice is calm and steady like he wasn't just about to bury his face in your pussy. You watch in horror as he adjusts his shirt, fixing his tie and putting his jacket back on. "I'm sorry sweetie, it completely slipped me, I'm on my way." He hangs up.

You look at him, mouth opened about to protest, "what? No where are you going?"

"I'm sorry baby, Padme and I were supposed to have dinner with friends, and I'm late." He kisses your head. "I'll make it up later"

You watch as he exits the bedroom, groaning into the pillow when you hear the front door downstairs slam.

"I see why you like him." Grace's voice fills your ears, she standing in your doorway. You look at her, puzzled; what's that supposed to mean.

"Sucks he has a wife," She retreats down the hall and into your guest room.

You take a deep breath, think about her words. There's no way, she'd try to get with him, there's no way she'd sabotage you right; tell Padme? No she doesn't even know her.

Pulling the covers to your chest, you roll on your side, closing your eyes you tell yourself that your sister would never hurt you, because that was the only way you'd get any sleep.

[hannibalzero]

Gardener Obi-Wan and Ex-convict Anakin actually have my ENTIRE HEART please tell me more about them

Oh geez this was just a Tictok meme that I thought fit.

So forgive me if this is a little fast and messy. ❤️🐰❤️🐰

It started so innocently!

Obi-Wan joined a volunteer group that became penpals with people overseas, incarcerated and elderly. Just emails you know?

Volunteer work was just something to keep Obi-Wan busy, felt like he was helping people. Between working at the library and his garden, there was still a lot of time to fill since Qui-gon-jinn his now ex-boyfriend wandered off being the free sprit he is.

So emailing Anakin was a nice distraction.

Anakin was charming, funny and interested in Obi-Wan’s simple life. Anakin talked about his mother, his love of tinkering and maybe a few clever ideas for Obi-Wans garden!

Hydroponics, how cleaver and the koi fish where lovely!

They talked about everything, Anakin explained what his crime was and how it was never proven. How much he wanted to meet Obi-Wan.

It got more romantic and Anakin asked randomly asked to marry Obi-wan over the phone.

Obi-Wan laughed and agreed, why not? It would put a end to everyone trying to set Obi-Wan up. It would stop all the questions about marriage and children, Obi-Wan would be left alone and be able to enjoy talking with Anakin.

It's not like Anakin would ever been released….

He visited Anakin a few times but they where between glass, those gold eyes were so…trianed on Obi-wan like he was actually beautiful. Anakin was very handsome too.

But Anakin wasn't allowed any physical visitation if you get my meaning.

It would be their two year wedding anniversary in a week, and Obi-Wan plans on visiting Anakin. maybe bring the man a gift too?

Not realizing that Palatine finally balled his favorite “son” out of the penitentiary. (aka don't get caught dumbass)

Anakin wanted to surprise his sweet little wife, pulling up to the nice home in a country. Behind the wheel of ‘Vader’ of course. 

Now we pick back up where I left off originally, Obi-Wan looking up in shock at his ex-convict husband. Walking into his garden, face to face.

Shock, panic, joy and lust all making Obi-Wan confused on what to do. He should keep away, no way should be allow Anakin here. What was he doing free?

All thoughts ended when Anakin kissed him…..

Anakin was more than ready for his honeymoon!

[thecleverqueer]

Random Thoughts during the last two episodes of “The Wrong Jedi” Arc from “The Clone Wars”:

•Part three- Random thoughts during The Clone Wars S5:E19 “To Catch a Jedi”:

*Plo Koon knows that his baby daughter Ahsoka isn’t guilty.

*I get why Yoda chose Plo Koon and Anakin to go down to the lower depths to find Ahsoka; they would be the most likely candidates to talk her down from the ledge, but it still feels kind of underhanded.

*Ahsoka’s wanted poster is fierce AF. Just sayin’. Fierce AF.

*Notice that the first person Ahsoka thinks to call after the smoke clears is Barriss. Barriss seems legitimately concerned about Ahsoka’s safety. Don’t use the Jedi-com, Ahsoka. They’re watching.

*Oh Ahsoka, that cloak is not a great disguise. Your montails are literally sticking out of it. It’s adorable, but honestly… you’re not going to fool anybody.

*Ahsoka is a master of parkour.

*To hell with the bootlicking jerk on the train… Ahsoka is running from the cops because she’s being accused of a crime that she did not commit, and this dude is butting his nose in affairs that don’t concern him. Stay TF out of it.

*One should feel bad for Ahsoka at this point. She’s not thinking clearly at all. She’s cutting a hole in the roof of that elevator, and that Twi-lek kid is like, “um, use the button to stop it, dumbass.”

*Here come Ahsoka’s brothers again!

*Did Ahsoka get Ventress that pardon? That was a bold promise. I don’t think Ventress really cared. She felt bad for Ahsoka. It’s that gray coming through.

*Those looks that Ahsoka and Barriss give each other on that holo call. My god… the angst… It’s like they’re going to reach through the video somehow and kiss each other. I mean, look… look and give me one heterosexual explanation. I’ll wait:

It’s so gay, it’s ridiculous. Side note: Barriss has really f*^%ed up here. She’s still trying to save Ahsoka’s ass, but she sucks so badly at improvising that she has only succeeded in making everything monumentally worse for her.

*The hand-to-hand combat between Ahsoka and Ventress versus the Clones is so badass. Ventress goes straight feral. That move she does after Wolfe grabs her from behind…holy shit! She just growls, kicks the shit out of two clones and head butts Wolfe. Epic. “See? Didn’t kill a one. It’s the new me.”

*Barriss knocking Ventress out with the pipe to the head was savage. I still can’t tell if she’s trying to frame Ventress up as the mastermind behind the bombing, or if she thinks Ahsoka and Ventress are boning and she has decided to kick both their asses for it.

*Ahsoka has fought Ventress before. I think it’s odd that she doesn’t realize it’s not Ventress here even if Barriss is trying to mimic Ventress’s fighting style. Ventress does not stop talking shit when she duels someone. Barriss is silent.

*This is honestly a brutal ass-beating. It’s Barriss’s kicking Ahsoka into the wall over and over again for me. Ahsoka is clearly tired or something and is not fighting her best fight. Give her a break!

*Uh. It’s painful… Ahsoka just doesn’t know when to stop. She keeps getting up. Sometimes, I wish she would just stay down for a minute to recuperate.

*Aaaannnddd, Ahsoka falls right into the nano-droids. Barriss runs off as the Clones come to collect Ahsoka. *Face-palm* So either…

A.) Barriss loses her nerve, is afraid that she’s going to get caught and runs off leaving her girlfriend in an even worse predicament… because she is the worst improviser ever. Or…

B.) She’s convinced that Ahsoka is cheating with Ventress and has left her to rot. Either way, damn.

*Wolfe isn’t going to let you explain. Ahsoka is screwed.

•Part four- Random thoughts during The Clone Wars S5:E20 “The Wrong Jedi”:

*Padawan Tano is not going to get a fair trial. You heard it here first.

*Tarkin is truly awful. He has honestly had a problem with Ahsoka since The Citadel arc, and I know he’s loving all of this. F*^%ing fascist asshole.

*God, the Jedi council pisses me off here… I suppose it shouldn’t though. On the one hand, they are kowtowing to the senate. But, on the other, I mean, their hands really are tied. If it had just been the video recording of Ahsoka supposedly choking Letta, they may have been able to swing something, but between Barriss’s questionable improvising, and Ahsoka’s running, Ahsoka does look guilty AF.

*I tend to think Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Plo voted in Ahsoka’s favor.

*Ahsoka’s eyes are so sad. You can feel her stomachs drop. I don’t know why the temple guards had to be so rough yanking her padawan silka beads off either. Someone just please give her a hug and tell her that everything is going to be okay, even if you don’t believe it.

*Anakin having another Vader moment with Ventress.

*Anakin: How dare you compare yourself to Ahsoka!

Ventress: It’s true! My master abandoned me, and that’s exactly what you did to her… you and your precious Jedi Order.

Anakin: *Looking around like there are no lies detected in Ventress’s statement. Feeling that slippery slope.*

*Tarkin is aiming for the death penalty in this trial, and Ahsoka is only 17! He’s trying to put a kid to death for sedition. What a dick!

*You can tell Anakin is pissed when he gets to Barriss’s door. I’m surprised that he doesn’t kick it in, and force choke a confession out of her. He probably warned her before she and Ahsoka started dating. “Hurt her and I’ll end you.” Well, here we are.

*You are in trouble, Barriss.

*I love how Barriss is still trying to cast the blame back on Ventress. Like, no, baby, the gig is up.

*Anakin: *growling* Ahsoka trusted you and you betrayed her!

Barriss: I’ve learned that trust is overrated. The only thing the Jedi council believes in is violence.

That line… was it the cheating thing!? I’m so confused by that line. One thing that I do know about Jedi is that if they did decide to get into a forbidden relationship, they’d definitely be too autistic to cheat. Ahsoka is no exception.

*Barriss doesn’t fight with the same brutality against Anakin as she did with Ahsoka. It was almost as if she was toying with Ahsoka, and now she’s trying to save her own ass against Anakin.

*”Cease hostilities.” Oh Barriss, no.

*The end of the fight between Anakin and Barriss is my favorite part. It’s like Anakin grows tired of her bullshit, and starts raging. Like, the ONLY reason that he did not end her right there is because he needed her to go and confess to the crimes in front of the senate. You were warned, Barriss. You know you got that shovel talk.

*Anakin walks in right before that guilty verdict was handed down, and Ahsoka’s like, “Thank the force…”

*But…. It’s immediately doused with the realization that it’s…. “Barriss!? Oh shit!!”

*Someone help scrape Ahsoka’s jaw off the floor.

*Obi-Wan gives Barriss a death stare. He’s up in the peanut gallery thinking, “you stupid f*^%ing bitch.” Oh Barriss, you’ve officially lost the in-laws.

*You can tell Barriss is sorry immediately. The look she shoots Ahsoka *grits teeth*. Ahsoka is going to grow up to be the hottest lesbian in the Galaxy, and Barriss just fumbled their whole relationship. Ouch.

*Ugh, and you can tell Barriss just broke Ahsoka’s heart... I mean, look at her… she can’t even find joy in her exoneration:

This is the face of someone whose heart was just shattered into a million pieces.

*Ahsoka isn’t buying the Jedi council’s bullshit. I’m not confident that they’re knighting her here, but they did say that this was her great trial. Ahsoka doesn’t care. Ahsoka’s emotions are on 15.

*The moment Ahsoka “nopes” the return to the Jedi order still punches me in the gut. I’ve watch this arc half a dozen times, and it still hits. Jeeze. “I’m sorry master, but I’m not coming back.”

*Obi-Wan feels compelled to chase Anakin and Ahsoka down, but is stopped by Plo Koon. Oh, the emotion that Obi-Wan, Anakin AND Ahsoka would have had… knowing the three of them have zero control over their emotions combined would have been something else entirely.

*The look on Yoda’s face is brilliant, too. Yeah. He knows he has f*^%ed up royally. This is all going to end badly.

*I tend to think Ahsoka’s completely unchecked feelings are why she couldn’t remain at the temple as a Jedi. She had enough clairvoyance to know that she couldn’t stay because her emotions were completely off the charts. Not only did the Jedi council not trust her, her girlfriend betrayed her, and she’s feeling all kinds of negative feels in that moment. “I can’t stay here any longer….not now.”

*Also, Ahsoka knew about Anakin and Padme. It is confirmed here with this…

Anakin: I understand. More than you realize. I understand wanting to walk away from the order.

Ahsoka: … I know.

*Oh, Ahsoka’s tears as she walks down the temple steps towards the sunset with that music playing… Damn. Damn. Damn. 😭

*Then, you hear Ahsoka’s theme and that’s it… you don’t see her again until Season 7… where she’s smuggling drugs with her rebound girlfriend and Barriss is still living rent-free in her head. It’s art! Dammit! Art!!!

[bylightofdawn]

Gods help me I have another fic idea.

Also add another fic idea to the pile. I've been wanting to write a Mace Windu/Commander Fox fic FOREVER because I feel like the 'They're tired of everyone's bullshit but have seen it all, and nothing phases them any more' Energy works so well together. Anakin Skywalker features A LOT in said bitch sessions. I knew I wanted it to be them doing silly coffee dates in everything but name, which was pretty much just them getting together to bitch and swap who is the biggest dumbass of the week stories together because if anyone is going to sympathize, it's gonna be them.

So I've had that in my brain for forever as what I wanted for the framework. And I knew of COURSE through the course of this friendship Palpabitch's perfidy would be revealed, Fox (or maybe Mace) would get to kill him as a special treat and they save the universe.

But tonight I had the brainblast that maybe their weekly coffee dates end up getting leaked somehow. Prolly a Corrie guard spots them on patrol or something like that and Fox's people start acting a little strange around him. Because clones gossip like no one's business.

And Fox finally brings it up to Mace being all "They're acting so weird, I can't figure out why."

"They probably think we're dating. I know my people do" Mace is just so....blase and matter of fact about dropping this truthbomb and poor Fox's brain is going to BSOD over the whole thing. He'll prolly have a minor mental health breakdown and spend the next week just overanalyzing E V E R Y T H I N G and dissecting everything Mace said, did etc. etc.

I don't know if that will be enough to tip it from friendship to relationship territory or not. A part of me can totally see them graduating from coffee dates to a sort of friends with benefits where they have lots of great stress-relieving sex and then have their customary bitch sessions in bed instead of over coffee. Also can you imagine Ponds (depending on where in the timeline this plays out) or Neyo’s horrified reaction when realizing Fox is knocking boots with their General. Someone get out the Victorian fainting couch and smelling salts. Or take Neyo’s guns away from him.

I dunno but I definitely now have enough of an idea of where I want this to go that I'm going to start working on it at some time.

[idkaguyorsomething]

Why you should read Darths and Droids:

Are you a fan of Star Wars or tabletop RPGs? Do you wish that the Star Wars movies had a more consistent quality of writing? Have you ever wanted to read a story where Qui-Gon Jinn was a crackhead crazy-as-shit dumbass who orchestrates the most hilariously convoluted terrible plans, Anakin Skywalker was a menacing manipulator who makes the most influential people in the galaxy dance like puppets to his tune, and Jar Jar Binks was a genuinely helpful badass? Well have I got the webcomic for you!

What It’s About: Darths and Droids is a retelling of the Star Wars movies where the story is reframed as an ongoing campaign between a group of friends who keep derailing their poor GM’s plans with their shenanigans. By taking screenshots from the movies and adding different dialogue, it manages to tell a completely different story that weaves in a lot of familiar elements but manages to turn a lot of them completely on their head. The story of the various player’s lives outside of the game and the drama they experience is also added into the narrative, creating two different layers of story that are both interesting in different ways and allows for humor and heart to be integrated with intrigue and adventure.

Why You Should Read It: This comic has some seriously clever writing, you guys. It starts out as a simple parody of a lot of the goofier elements of Star Wars, but as it goes on it whips out some quite impressive Chekhov’s Guns, deconstructs various themes and elements of the Star Wars universe thoroughly, and offers rich new storylines in its place. What it means to balance the Light and Dark when there is a prophecy fortelling one who will even its scales, for example, as well as exploring cool concepts that the movies never quite took advantage of, like the existence of shapeshifters, clones, and the ability to upload one’s consciousness into other vessels. Framing it as a tabletop game also does wonders for clearing up plot holes, and the script is so tight that you’d have a hard time picking out any continuity errors if you tried. Rereads and attention to detail is incredibly rewarding, as you get to see a huge amount of setup pay off, and it’s really nice to see the players grow up and watch their lives change over the course of several years. Also, for the visually impaired, each episode comes with a handy transcript that makes it easily accessible, as well as some nice food for thought from the writers about game design.

Why You Might Want To Avoid: First and foremost, this is a long comic. It’s been updating three times a week for nearly two decades, and at a glance the archives reveals it to be quite a binge (though there are a couple of recorded play versions of the first arc that might take you less time to get through). Some arcs can also drag significantly more than others, since the better Star Wars movies tend to provide less material for satire or plot holes to cover, though they still contain some pretty juicy drama and entertaining jokes. However, if you’re here for the characters from Star Wars that you know and love, you will not find them here. This is a game played between a group of friends, and the versions of every character they encounter are very different from canon. Not to mention that, if you’re unfamiliar with tabletop RPGs, then a lot of the jokes and references will probably confuse you, though the writer’s commentary does a good job of explaining everything to the uninitiated. Still, it was a pretty influential comic back in the day for a reason. It really elevated a lot of the ideas another webcomic with a similar concept, DM of the Rings, first came up with, and by extension, a lot of the ideas in Star Wars.

TL;DR Darths and Droids is a fantastic cleverly written webcomic that combines tabletop gaming and Star Wars to excellent effect and manages to tell a funny, memorable story with tight action, knotty intrigue, and witty plotting. It’s super bingeable and you’ll never be able to look at Star Wars the same way after reading it.

[shadowmaat]

AU where Artoo has had enough of this BS. When Leia sends him down to Tatooine and he finds Luke he just flat-out tells him exactly who he is, who his father is/was, and that it's time to put on his big boy pants and go kill some Sith.

Threepio is the unfortunate translater who keeps scolding Artoo for telling such obvious lies, but AHA! Artoo has some secret memory chip with a holoclip of Anakin.

They do go and gather Obi-Wan as well, but it's clear Artoo is running the show. He reads Obi-Wan the riot act over, well, everything, and they set off for Mos Eisley to find a ride.

Owen and Beru don't die because Artoo tells them shit is about to hit the fan and he knows enough details he shouldn't actually know to convince them. Luke can leave knowing he still has family to fight for and protect. He still has people who love him.

Obi-Wan is forced to survive his duel with Vader because Artoo is damned if he's gonna let that happen. "I didn't save your obsolete old ass just for you to up and die on me NOW!" Dumbass organics and their refusal to make backups. Tch!

[twilightofthe]

Obi Wan Kenobi Show Liveblog: Part II

ok ok ok ok ok we gettin’ back to it let’s fucking gooooooooooo

aight so i’m re-listening to the obi wan theme but i’m gonna need to pull it all up once everything’s over and give it my full attention

characters like obi wan kenobi and din djarin having to take commercial air travel and deal with customs makes me laugh a lot

so i’m LOVING the neon aesthetic of Daiyu

wait motherfuck this is obi wan’s FIRST TIME OFF TATOOINE IN TEN YEARS HOW IS HE COPING

slkdfjsdlk saying this is qui gon’s kind of mess apparently

MOTHERFUCK IS THAT A CLONE

THAT’S A CLONE MR MORRISON WHY DID YOU COME BACK JUST TO HURT ME HEY

and obi wan’s giving him coins and looking like his heart is breaking fucking help me

ahaha go home and rethink your life kiddo

“MY DAUGHTER”

FUCK EVERYTHING

FUCK EVERYTHING

oh ANOTHER jedi huh?

ehhhh i don’t believe it

ah hello kumail nanjiani

oh fuck he actually did the force summon thing

hmmm still don’t know if i trust

like he did say he was a scam character

he’s giving me Hondo vibes

yeah MAJOR Hondo vibes

pffff i knew it was a scam

ohohoho obi wan’s gonna fuck with this dude big time i know it

Get his ass Obes get him

“of course” ohohoho that’s obi wan’s Danger Voice sexy ehehe

HAHAHA IT WAS A MAGNET AND NOW OBES HAS A GUN GET HIS ASS

THE GUN AND THE ANGRY VOICE IS STILL VERY HOT I’M SORRY I KNOW IT’S UNCIVILIZED OK OK OK I’LL SHUT UP

BUT IT’S HOT

SHHHH OK BACK TO WATCHING

heeheeheehee he’s STROKING HIS BEARD

PENSIVELY

fuuuuuuck

i am so obnoxious i’m sorry but also not

yes he still makes a gas mask look hot

ok wow i guess the entire first episode with me crying was me too distracted by my emotions to be drooling over obes but now the dam has burst

HELL YES BABE YOU DESTROY THAT BREAKING BAD LAB

HOOHOOHOOHOOOOOO HE BRAWLIN HE BRAWLION THAT’S STILL HOT

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

stop fucking hitting him u bitch ur just jealous he’s hot and you’re not

HELL YEAH SMOKEBOMB

I love this man so much y’all have no clue

AHAHAHA LEIA’S FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH OBI WAN AND SHE ATTACKS HIM I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

obiwanandleiaobiwanandleiaobiwanandleiaobiwanandleia

motherFUCK THE DISGUISE HE GIVES HER LOOKS LIKE PADME’S HANDMAIDEN DISGUISE I’M GONNA FUCKING SOB

AND SHE SPENDS HER ENTIRE TIME CALLING HIM OLD AND GIVING HIM A CORONARY I LOVE THIS SO SO SO VERY MUCH

ohoho so i think Reva IS trying to please Vader

fuck offffffff G. Quizzy Reva’s so much prettier than u

SO YOU DO ADMIT THAT KENOBI’S STILL ALIVE DON’T TAKE CREDIT FOR WHAT SHE’S DONE YOU BITCH

WE ALL WANNA SQUEEZE HIM BITCH YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL

obi wan hon u do realize that y’all took off your disguises and are now walking around barefaced right

oh ok ok he’s getting her new clothes good

FASHION ICON LIKE HER MOTHER

“GRANDDAUGHTER MAYBE” LEIA ORGANA I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING

HE’S USING HIS ANNOYED ANAKIN VOICE ON HER I LOVE HIM I LOVE HER SO VERY VERY MUCH

fuuuuuck he’s hot when he punches people

“my droid is fucking dead :(” “good” OBI WAN

don’t jinx it you bitch did you learn ANYTHING obi wan from like ur entire life

NO DUMBASS DON’T LEAVE HER ALONE

ahhhh she’s suspicious oh dear and here we go

OOOOH HE’S GONNA CATCH A BLASTER BOLT WITH THE FORCE TO PROTECT HER OR SOMETHING

Reva you’re such a dramatic bitch i love you can’t u jump off a building like a normal force user

nah he’s gonna float her

yep!

Skywalker requirement: MUST nearly give Obi Wan a heart attack after being in his presence for ten minutes

“IS IT THAT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE FRIENDS” LEIA

“we gotta take the free help dumbass” this is giving me big Padme vibes

OBI WAN THINKS SO TOO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Reva you dramatic-ass theatre kid I love you

“I’ll be right behind you” lmaoooooo Obi Wan just said the magic words that means he DEFINITELY WON’T AHAHAHA

so she IS trying to capture him for Vader

ahahahahahaha his EYES LOOK AT THE PAIN AND TERROR

wait wait wait what the fuck WHY DOES SHE KNOW HE’S ANAKIN

oh fuck wait a minute did she actually stab G. Quizzy?

So is he NOT the same one from Rebels?

AHAHAHA ANYWAY BACK TO OBI WAN’S BREAKDOWN HEEHEEHOOHOO

heeeheeehee he’s crying

OH THERE YOU ARE YOU BROODY BURNT BITCH

NOW THE PARTY’S STARTED

NOW THE ANGST IS HERE

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[inferior-fairy]

I posted 6,659 times in 2022

36 posts created (1%)

6,623 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@binaryeclipse

@ragnarlothcat

@intermundia

@bi-wan

@tennessoui

I tagged 2,235 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 1,060 posts

#art - 954 posts

#anakin skywalker - 594 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 552 posts

#obikin - 435 posts

#video - 233 posts

#ficlet - 128 posts

#tennessoui - 101 posts

#ahsoka tano - 76 posts

#fic rec - 64 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#first glimpse at the stalker!! and i'm just kinda like 👀👀 because i was hoping there'd be a wild hint but yeah no there's not

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Are you currently working on a new story? If you do can you tell us more?

I am a big fan of your writing!

You sent this at the right time, anon! I just posted the wips I have open on my computer (here) but the one I'm working on rn is a follow up to this bitching fic! Here's an excerpt below if you'd like to read it:

“Are you ready, dear one?” Obi-Wan asked for the third time, running a hand down Anakin’s bare side. His mate was spread out before him, his own hands tracing Obi-Wan’s neck, shoulders, and upper arms.

Anakin rolled his eyes, though they were too bright for Obi-Wan to truly think he was annoyed. Just impatient. “I’ve already said yes a million times.”

Obi-Wan hummed and pressed down against his lover, covering Anakin with his own scent. He buried his face in Anakin’s neck, nipping at his scent glands and scarred-over mating bite. He smelled wonderful, like springtime and berries and bonfires, and when Obi-Wan rolled his cock against his hip, Anakin only moaned and spread his legs.

They hadn’t been able to do this before Anakin transitioned, this lazy grinding and sweet moments. Everything had been a battle of wills, of one of them wrestling the other down onto the bed and preparing them, fucking while fighting all the while. Sex couldn’t be calm, not with thier instincts pushing them to snap at and dominate each other. They found their moments elsewhere, curled up together in bed or watching one of Anakin’s holodramas.

Now, though… Obi-Wan’s hand wandered down Anakin’s side to his hip to his thigh, hiking it up around his waist and continuing to touch. He couldn’t get enough of Anakin’s skin bared to him, no ropes, no ties, no gags, just them.

5 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#4

okay i gotta know about "Dumbass Dildo Anakin" 🤣

Alright 😂 so, this is actually a prompt from a server I'm in, but:

Most Padawans go to their masters for sex ed before it's too late. Obi-Wan should have known Anakin is a moron, but when the other approaches him as a blushing clearly fucked mess and whispers that he got some makeshift dildo stuck up his ass of course Obi-Wan does the duty of being a master and helps him. Even if it means fisting his padawan to get the offending thing out.

To make matters worse Obi-Wan has more than innocent thoughts and Anakin is moaning like a whore at being properly opened up.

His padawan is gonna be the death of him.

And that's the story! I have been writing it for so long zzkfzf

Here's a snippet:

“Master, please,” Anakin begged, voice hitching as a tear rolled down his cheek. Obi-Wan was entranced by it. He wanted to wipe it off and lick the salt from his skin, then make him cry even more.

Obi-Wan made a strangled sound as his cock thickened in his trousers. He coughed, a sudden lump caught in his throat, before nodding once. “Bend over the table.”

Anakin bit his lip and shuffled over to the table. He shot a nervous glance back at Obi-Wan and looked away just as quickly, unbuckling his belt and taking off his tabards. He dropped them on the ground beside him, pushing his leggings down quickly and bracing himself against the table. His tunics fell down his body, covering the swell of his ass and only exposing the crease of his thighs. His trembling was more clear now without any clothing to cover him.

Obi-Wan approached Anakin slowly, releasing a swell of lust into the Force. “Is this alright?” he asked quietly as he reached for the hem. Anakin made a muffled sound of approval, but still Obi-Wan hesitated. “You can tell me to stop at any time.”

“Master-” Anakin started, but cut himself off. “Please,” was all that he said. Obi-Wan took a steadying breath and braced himself before pushing Anakin’s tunics up his body. It hissed out again as he took in the sight of Anakin’s perfectly rounded ass before him. Obi-Wan felt entranced as he reached out to cup each cheek in his hand before spreading them.

Anakin’s hole was red and wet, clenching around nothing as Obi-Wan stared at it. He made a half-embarrassed, half-aroused noise when Obi-Wan reached out a finger to prod at it, hips jerking away from Obi-Wan.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said reproachfully, settling a hand on Anakin’s lower back to keep him still. It felt like a dream, having Anakin here before him like this, but Obi-Wan had to remember that it wasn’t as if Anakin was here by choice. He’d gone to his master for help, not to be thought of like that. Force, Anakin was his padawan, he shouldn’t be taking pleasure in this at all. He had to be better.

6 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#3

WIP Title Tag

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Thanks for the tags @elysian-prince and @binaryeclipse! If anyone else tagged me, I’m sorry, my @’s are a mess right now

As for no pressure tagging people: @obiwanobi @anakinspraisekink @maragny @gay-cheerios @disast3rtransp0rt and anyone that’d like to do this!

Currently open in my tabs:

Bitching Follow Up

Savagakin Breeding Follow Up

but a right/ will bring you right back here to me

Accidental Baby Acquisition (a/b/o)

war prizes decorate your room

Clockwork Dragon/Heart/Ticking

DnD Sad Au

Dumbass Dildo Anakin

Anakin/Savage rut

Other WIPs (under a read more because,,, dang there’s A Few):

Anakin and the Fancy Underwear

Countdisaster Rare Pairs Fic

Good Vibrations “Alternatively...”

Jedi Consort for King WIP

Lemon.

Milk Fic

Morning Somno

OFaF AU- Storetime Fun

Omega Catboy Anakin/Mob Boss Obi-Wan

piss kink?? I guess??

Propositioned

Sephir - Whump time, baby!- its not even whump anymore (rip)

Sex Toy Fun Lol

Thanksgiving is a Challenge (I Will Conquer) + Shorts

That One Gif

See the full post

6 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#2

I always forget how weird April weather is

So far we've had:

Snow

Sunny and 65°F/18°C

Breezy

Cloudy

Rain

Thunderstorms

Tornado warning

7 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Reverse Unpopular Opinion Meme: Sheev Palpatine

Why do you do this to me 😂😭

Serious Answer: He's a really good villain. I hate his guts, but you have to be incredibly smart and have a lot of patience to manipulate people and events for decades the way he did. He might not be the most powerful person in Star Wars but he's definitely one of the most cunning

Not-So-Serious Answer: hot young sheev

10 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[maemil]

Other highlights of this chunk of episodes (s2 e4-9) include:

Constant comments about what good friends Padmé and Clovis were. Yeah yeah we get it they've fucked.

Padmé getting Anakin's ass about duty coming over everything in wartime.

"Good thing those bugs can't aim" *entire ship is immediately blown up*

Waxer! Boil! Here for like half a second, but I love them anyway.

Anakin and Ahsoka's kill count competition getting absolutely wrecked by Ki-Adi-Mundi

Fucked up brain worm zombies that scared the hell out of me as a kid

Anakin force choking a bitch while Vader's theme plays

Grievous and Obi-Wan enemy!flirting

Clone vs Grievous dogpile (extremely hilarious but dumbass decision fellas)

Cody catching Obi-Wan when they're all getting sucked out into space (honestly whenever Cody does like anything I cheer)

The first clone to get zombified being called Scythe. Okay you edgy thematically appropriate bastard.

Ahsoka staring over at Barriss when she can't sleep

Clone zombies getting zombified: also creepy

Barriss and Ahsoka's whole conversation in the mess

"You might find some of [Anakin's] thoughts on the future a bit radical." me when my bestie's a fascist.

Ahsoka's getting-other-people-to-resist-mind-control-for-me powers coming in clutch

Ahsoka asking Anakin for advice about attachments...

[gffa]

As an update, I have gotten some sleep, I spent some time with family, I talked with a lot of people, I opened some windows for some fresh air, I spent some time tooling around on the internet, I even put the clothes in the dryer (UGH!!!), and I'm feeling a lot better. I want to say that I really appreciated how many people were angry with me (you guys should have seen the nuclear option response I wrote and how poor Moss had to talk me down off the ledge of it, because she knew of course I'd regret it later!), but even more I appreciate that you guys were kind and offered me connection and sympathy. More than anything, what helped me is remembering that there's so much good in this world through people saying you were thinking of me. It would have felt really good to sic a bunch of people on someone who was cruel to me, believe me, there's a part of me that would have loved it because of course I wanted to lash back out at her. So, I understand that urge, I appreciate the protective place that it's coming from! But ultimately I needed to handle this my own way, even if it was making a post about her that wasn't a call-out per se, but an exploration of my own boundaries. And ultimately I have to stick to my morals about how I can't sic people on someone, that's not what friends and fellow fans are for. I don't want to fight more with her, I want to go back to ignoring that she exists. When I'm grieving, this is not how I want to spend my day, no matter what she does or doesn't deserve, I deserve to have the space to process my grief instead of having to deal with her in my most painful moments. So, I appreciate everyone who wanted to march over to her and give her a piece of your minds, that anger helped soothe the hurt in me, but in this instance, I wanted peace even more, not a fight with whatever nonsense she would have thrown back. And because of that, tonight I feel a lot steadier and more stable again, I feel warmly connected to all of you, and ready to read some Star Wars comics and yell about deep diving into the obscure stuff again because I love that shit and I love happily yelling about it with you guys, if you want to wander by and read it. Or just laugh about how Anakin is The Most Character Ever, can you guys BELIEVE how lucky we are to be in a fandom of a story that centers around THAT guy? The one who is the most terrifying murder cyborg ever, but is also the sweetest boy ever, but is also the most dumbass genius you've ever met, but is also a genuinely complex and interesting character?? Guys, how can I stay down for too long when we get to talk about Anakin Skywalker's EVERYTHING???

[commanderfoxdeservesbetter]

📓 what do you think Rex bitches about constantly?

😂😂 I’m sorry I made myself laugh while writing this so this is what I think he would bitch about + a side plot that I honestly thought was pretty funny

Anakin when he’s being a dumbass

Fives when he makes crude jokes on the battlefield

Echo when he enables Fives’ jokes

Fives and Echo’s prank wars (though most of it’s for show)

Keeli and Howzer (if only so he can remember his batchmates; he also bitches to them about everything so it’s a 50/50 on if they’ll get gossip or insulted)

Anakin when he comes up with a reckless plan that somehow works

Ahsoka when she hit him in the face with her lightsabers

Obi-Wan if only because Cody constantly bitches about him not sleeping

Jesse and Hardcase (there is no need for an explanation here)

Kix when he tries to use his CMO voice to keep him in the medbay for longer than needed

Ahsoka when she does something reckless on the battlefield that could have gotten her killed

Boil and Waxer for teaching Fives more jokes

Anakin when he basically implied to Hunter they were in a relationship because of his horrible communication skills

Wolffe because he bit him when he was a cadet and he still isn’t over it

Fox because honestly, it’s just kind of funny watching Fox’s eyebrow tick up

Bly because of his stupid crush on Aayla

Kix for sneaking a sedative in his food on three separate occasions

Cody because he put itching powder in his blacks on a day when they were sent out into the field

Jesse because he caught the whole thing on video

Ponds for almost dying

Anakin when he uses the Force to throw him in the air

Bly again because he pines over Aayla but won’t do shit about it

Wolffe because Ahsoka told him once that she thinks he’s cool because he works with Plo

Ponds for bringing Boba back with him and now they have the feisty Fett son who bites just like Wolffe

Boba for hijacking his datapad

Fox because he didn’t kill the Chancellor earlier

Anakin because he tried to help Palpatine

Fox because he didn’t tell them about Palpatine and so now Rex has to make up all the hugs and time they almost lost

Anakin because the only reason he didn’t follow Palpatine was because he got into an argument with Fox

Fox because he got into an argument with a Jedi who was almost about to fall

Quinlan

Crosshair for flicking his toothpick in his face

Fives for making another stupid joke when they finally found Echo

Echo for laughing at the joke

Anakin for not telling anyone else that he was married

Anakin for being Rex’s friend and making him lie to save his ass

The Jedi Council because they apparently knew about his marriage and was wanting for him to come clean

Anakin because he’s still denying it

Mace who asked the question on who he was seeing

Anakin for saying It’s him 😤 (on god, he could have warned Rex)

The Jedi Council for now staring at him and waiting for him to crack

Himself because he’s a shit liar

Himself again because he can’t help but dig a deeper hole and agree with Anakin’s statement

Anakin for being shocked that he’s covering his ass still (if you want to make this believable, just go with it!)

Hunter for the credits he sees exchanged with Fives

Fives for betting on him (on choosing the wrong bet)

Cody, Wolffe, Fox, Bly, Ponds and Gree for all snickering

Gree who made a loud comment about Rex being into recklessness

Anakin who snickered at that

Anakin for shrugging at his glare and saying he could see it

Obi-wan for congratulating their (fake!) relationship

Mace for coming up with the idea that if a Anakin married Rex, they could gain clone citizenship for all clones due to marriage within the Jedi Council (if the Senate won’t pass a bill soon)

Anakin who’s now backing out saying he can’t (which Rex knows he can’t; he’s married)

Plo for asking why Anakin can’t instead of dropping it

Anakin for,instead of saying something reasonable, states that they already got married

Echo for exchanging credits with Tech and not withering under his glare

Yoda for asking him if this is true

Everyone in the goddamn room staring at him

Anakin because he’s a shit best friend and he honestly should have never become friends with his General, especially one who has a secret marriage (even if Rex was never told explicitly but he’s not a dumbass; he’s pretty sure Anakin and Padme are married)

Himself because now he’s doubting whether Anakin actually is married and if he’s not, Rex is gonna look like a real dumbass

Anakin because he’s doing the eye nod thing again and Rex doesn’t know what up side up down means!!

Himself for indulging in the silent motions and now they’re having a silent conversation while everyone’s staring

Fox for interrupting their conversation before they could come to a decision

Anakin because why did he have to be Rex’s best friend? (He should have let Anakin fall; he wouldn’t be in this position if Anakin was a Sith)

Himself for thinking that because knowing Anakin, he probably would be in the same position regardless if Anakin was still a Jedi or a Sith

Himself for saying yes to Yoda’s question

Cody for exchanging credits with Ponds

Yea that’s about it; it’s mainly Anakin that Rex bitches constantly about

[phoenixyfriend]

Following from Post-O66 main cast dropped into HP & the Order of the Phoenix.

So! I had more thoughts. Wider cast. The whole shebang.

I keep imagining that Various Others show up in Wizarding England, mostly around Hogwarts, for reasons nobody can really figure out. They just pop into existence, unexplained, dragged from the wider galaxy to A Weird Magic Castle.

This starts off with Boba. Ahsoka and Rex immediately hustle him off--he's in a prison uniform and covered in blood, with a stolen blaster and the pissed-off look of a Fett in a fight--explain what's going on and where they are, and contact Obi-Wan because Fuck It, Let's Ask Dad.

Various discussions, they decide to let Boba stay at Hogwarts with Ahsoka and Rex. This is because Rex knows Boba, if from a distance, and knows intimately how Boba grew up on Kamino, so everyone figures he's got the best chance at understanding/predicting Boba. Ahsoka is also a lot closer in age, so that's a plus. Padme also does not want Boba around the babies, mostly because she's sure that he might pick a fight with Anakin or Obi-Wan, if only verbally, and the twins are hard enough to put down for a nap without regular shouting matches.

Some time passes. Boba and Rex do Mandalorian hand to hand forms together, practice shooting, bitch each other out about What They're Doing Incorrectly, and Ahsoka drags Boba into spars regularly to tire him out so he's less inclined to start trouble. A wizard kid tries to make fun of him and/or shoulder checks or otherwise gets in his face, and Ahsoka has to keep Boba from eviscerating a civilian teenager.

And then there's another incident! Big zap, sudden people, we still don't know how or why the heck they're here, but they are!

It's Echo and Omega.

Echo's in... Not Great Shape, because the magic is quickly impacting his electronic prostheses (maybe half an hour on the outside before they start glitching), but it's fine because Rex is rushing over and shouting his name and looking him over for Injuries, while Boba shouted "Meg!" and ran over to his... sister? Unclear. There's a dynamic there and it looks a lot like Fussing Mother Hen. Omega isn't injured or anything, but Boba's glaring off anyone who gets too close.

Echo has to go to the Jedi house, because Hogwarts is going to render three of his limbs inoperable, and he's not down with that. Omega is torn between sticking with Boba and sticking with Echo, but she decides to spend the week at the school and the weekend with Echo, and Everything Is Fine, Okay?

Someone also tries to bully/shoulder check her, like they did Boba. More people, even, because she's small. Possibly it's a sixth or seventh year. Omega asks if she's allowed to defend herself if someone gets physically rough with her, and then does some Mando judo flip to the next person to try something. She is henceforth avoided.

AND THEN IT IS TIME FOR VENTRESS AND QUINLAN

Both bleeding heavily, Ventress no longer a Sith but risking a slip with how disoriented and feral she feels, Quinlan possibly unconscious, both in urgent need of medical help.

Ahsoka's busy trying to keep Quinlan's blood on the inside, Omega and Boba are trying to help Ventress--Omega has some medical training, but Ventress keeps trying to push them away with a saber because clones are dangerous to anyone with the Force that isn't already Sidious's--and Rex has decided 'fuck this, actually' and commed Obi-Wan.

In come Obi and Anakin! They talk down Ventress. They get her and Quinlan to the hospital wing, because the actual hospital isn't an option. Quinlan wakes up to Obi-Wan by his bedside. He asks if he's dead. Things are feelsy. Something something obiquintress

At some point Maul shows up and Ahsoka has to bully him into going outside for a fight instead of doing it indoors and she keeps him busy while Rex comms Obi-Wan and tells him to come to the school, your dumbass is back.

Ahsoka and Maul's fight is almost playful but then Obi-Wan is there and it is UNHINGED SCREAMING TIME.

IDK at some point the Jedi rebellion out in the actual main part of the gffa, run by Mace, finally comes to fruition and they get Anakin's emergency beacon with The Secret Codes, and come pick their people up.

The Dursleys are horrified to find out that the Foreign Woman they were consistently kinda racist towards is actually the highest ranking person on the planet and the elected representative of hundreds of billions of sentient beings

Anyway the main interest the new republic (with Bail as chancellor because we gotta) has in Earth is the anthropological record, because they've been trying to find out humanity's home planet for a long time, and this is the only planet so far with an actual evolutionary paleontological record for how humans happened.

They don't actually want anything else from Earth, including joining the Republic, because Earth is very war-monger-y and racist and species-first etc.

But those fossils and remains of homo erectus...

[incorrectdisasterlineage]

anakin: i know these guys, i know everything about them.

mace: you’re a poor Jedi if you think people can’t surprise you.

anakin: not these people. here, watch this, i know what everyone’s gonna do tonight. it’s thursday, so ahsoka’s gonna leave early to practice with her padawan ‘saber group. they’re the nightmares of the temple. padme’s gonna be going over her new bill proposal. and rex will be running a “how to handle your jedi” seminar—

rex: tonight’s topic: dumbasses losing their lightsabers

anakin: and if i run and leap at obi-wan, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. coming in!

obi-wan: no! i’m holding tea—!