#everything is something that I’m watching with other people or that has been canceled or that I just don’t care to watch | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fullybooked · 1 month

Text

What Are My Other Options?

Title: What are my other options? Pairing: Insomniac!PeterParker x Reader Word count: 9.6k Warnings: mentions of cheating (but Peter would never) Notes: F/T = favorite topping Summary: The reader has come to the conclusion that Peter is cheating on them. What else are they supposed to think when he’s always running off and constantly canceling their plans? That he’s Spider-Man?

It wasn’t often that you got a chance to dress up anymore. As a grad student, there was very little spare time to spend on your appearance, and when that kind of rare opportunity arose, you jumped at it. So you didn’t feel bad about spending the last hour in front of a mirror, tossing around outfits, and destroying the closet in the process.

The occasion? The New York Times Gala. You’d been working for the biggest news outlet in the state for your graduate program for investigative journalism, a spot you had fought tooth and nail for. Every News Outlet and invited celebrity would be there, the Daily Bugle, The Wallstreet Journal, USA Today, and you’d heard whispers of Tony Stark attending. You hadn’t even learned until last week that you would be allowed the attend as well. As nothing more than an intern, you hadn’t seen there being a reason.

But your boss had given you the news last Friday, and you’d practically skipped home to tell your boyfriend, Peter, about it. And that you had a plus one. He’d been almost as excited as you.

Which is why you were finding it hard to believe that he wasn’t home right now. He wasn’t getting ready with you, he wasn’t even answering your calls or texts. So while you were excited, there was a bubble of worry hiding underneath.

“Where is he?” You’re muttering to no one but yourself. The last touches of your outfit were going on, and the last train you could take would be at the station in 20 minutes. Your window was closing.

Looking down at your phone while adjusting your choice of red accessories, you start to wonder if something bad had happened to him. After all, New York was crawling with supervillains and regular villains alike. And Peter was equipped for any kind of fight he might’ve run into. Ever since you met him in your first year of college, he had been one of the most peaceful people you’d ever met.

Your red shoes rest by the door, and while pacing your living room, you decide to call his Aunt May. She would surely know if anything, bad or good, had stopped Peter from coming home on such an important night. You click on her contact, resisting the urge to bite your nails from nerves.

It’s only two rings before she answers, “(Y/N)!” she answers happily, “I’m a little shocked to be hearing from you so late, is everything alright? Isn’t tonight your Gala for work?”

Aunt May was nothing short of a saint. Kind and caring, traits she’d taught Peter as she raised him. You adored her, the two of you always got along great when you and Peter volunteered at FEAST or went over for dinner. You weren’t sure if the lack of concern in her voice should make you more worried or not.

“It is,” you tell her as you watch the clock tick on, “but I haven’t been able to get ahold of Peter all night. I’m starting to worry. Have you heard from him?”

There’s a hum of confusion on her end, “I’m afraid not, dear,” she says, “but I wouldn't start worrying just you. We both know how bad he is at keeping time.”

It was true. Peter was chronically late. Normally, it was funny, except for the few times he was an hour late to your date nights. But this was different. He knew how important this night was for you and your career as an investigative journalist.

“I know…” you agree with May, “It’s just…I can’t be late for this, and the last train is leaving in 15 minutes.”

Your phone buzzes in your hand as you speak to her, and you bring it away from your ear to glance at the screen. A photo of you and Peter in front of the Ferris wheel at Coney Island is on screen, his name appearing with heart emojis next to it. Relief floods your system.

“Oh!” you gasp and return to speaking with May, “that’s him! I’m so sorry for bugging you May!”

She chuckles, “don’t be, dear. You two have a good time!”

You hang up, immediately answering Peter’s call, “Pete! Where are you!? I’ve been calling you all night!”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry,” his voice sounds winded and tired, like he was running, “I just…got wrapped up in something at work, me and Doc were talking about his lab and…I’m really sorry!”

“Well, where are you?” You ask. There was no point in telling him it was okay, because it didn’t feel okay, “the last train is about to leave and we can’t be late–”

“(Y/N), I don’t think I’ll be able to make it,” his voice cuts you off before you can continue your nervous ramble, “Me and Doc are still wrapped up in this lab project and I won’t be able to make it back in time for the gala. I know how important this was to you and I promise I will make up for this tenfold for the next 20 years–”

You could hear the rushing wind of New York behind the phone as he continued on an apology that you didn’t feel in your chest. He sounded sorry, sure, but you could only feel disappointment in his words. Your shoes are on your feet, and you’re looking at the clock hanging next to a vacation photo of the two of you on the beach. Your lack of response is response enough to him, but you’re too busy deciding if you should be angry or not.

“(Y/N),” he says your name, “I can’t say I’m sorry enough, but you’ll do fantastic even if I’m not there.”

“Seriously?! Of all nights, Peter, you have to pick tonight to flake out on me? You know how important this is and you can’t even look at a clock for two hours?!”

You had 10 minutes to get to the train station from your apartment, a task that would surely try and ruin your hour of work on how you looked.

“I know, babe, I’m so–”

You click the end call button before he can finish. Fumbling with your keys, can feel your cheeks warming up in a rush of emotions. First, embarrassment. A couple of people in your office had been excited to meet Peter, and now you would show up alone. Stood up by your boyfriend of 4 years. The gala would go on without him, and you would have to put on a pretty smile to go along with it.

Which is exactly what you did, barely making it on time to walk with your boss into the decorated hall. Telling your coworkers that your boyfriend had eaten some bad takeout for dinner and was at home nursing himself back to health. Hoping nobody saw how your eye twitched whenever Peter texted you before turning your phone on do not disturb.

That night, you locked the bedroom door and left a pillow and blanket on the couch.

★★★★★★

Something you and Peter had in common was your love of pizza. Both of you had differing opinions on the best pizza place in New York, but you did agree that any pizza was better than no pizza. So when you two moved in together, it was an unspoken rule that at least one night a week, you scaped whatever money you had together and ordered a large pizza.

“It’s my week to pick,” you remind him as you sit cross-legged on the couch in your studio apartment, holding the phone of power in your hand, “and I say Benny’s.”

Peter is standing in the kitchen, pulling a can of soda from the fridge, “aw man,” he says, “but they don’t have the good pepperoni.”

“But they have the Italian sausage,” you remind him, already pulling up Doordash on your phone, “and it’s my night.”

Peter looks over his shoulder, a smile on his face that always makes you blush and look away like a teenager, “you’re lucky I love you,” he says, “and I’m willing to part with the good pepperoni.”

You giggle back, “Aren’t I the luckiest? So half sausage half (F/T)?”

“It’s your world, babe,” he says as he walks around the couch to sit beside you, “I’m just living in it.”

“That’s the answer I was looking for,” you look over at him with a grin.

These nights were the ones you loved the most. The two of you in pajamas, ordering your favorite food, waiting for the newest episode of Game of Thrones to air, in the quiet of the apartment. Where the noise and air of New York felt like it was miles away, and your little bubble couldn’t be disturbed.

Peter leans down, his eyes soft when he looks at you, and he kisses you slowly. Every kiss with him, deep or small, left you with fire in your veins. Whether it was innocent or lewd, at home or in the park, an apology kiss or a hello kiss, you always felt like you were walking on the hot air of a volcanic eruption. He pulls away, smiling like he was looking at the sun for the first time.

“Hm,” you gaze back at him, “I don’t care how much you kiss me, I won’t be swayed into Lenny’s.”

He gives a dramatically fake sigh, “There went the plan of seducing you into mushroom on half.”

“Well, I didn’t say that…” you roll your eyes, still smiling. You were always smiling with Peter. Or, most of the time you were.

His phone dings on the coffee table in front of you, the screen face down but illuminating the light-colored wood around it. It caught you off guard for a moment, that his screen is face down. And that he picked it up immediately. But you didn’t let it bother you for long, deciding to order the pizza while he checked whatever notification he had.

Just as you hit delivery, Peter stands up from the couch in too quick of a motion to be reassuring. You jump slightly at his speed, looking back at him in confusion. Tilting your head, you look as he shoves his phone into his back pocket.

“Pete?” you say in an unsure voice, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s great,” he says. The slight rise at the end of his sentence makes you narrow your eyes, “It’s just uh…Doc texted me and uh he says he’s had a breakthrough on this project, but he needs my help with it..”

You can’t hide the disappointment in your expression as he makes a reach for his keys hanging by the door, and for his bag by the couch.

“Oh…” you say, trying to mask the sound of defeat in your voice, “right now? It’s almost nine pm.”

“Yeah, it’s just…a really important project,” he insists as he pulls his shoes on hurriedly. You would think he’d just gotten a call from the police with how quickly he was moving, “and you know Doc, he’s always rushing through the numbers, so I should just make sure he’s got them all right before moving on.”

He was rambling. His voice was rising and falling. Every tell he had that he was lying, but you didn’t want to jump to that conclusion. What was there for him to lie about? What would have him running from the apartment so late? He did care a lot about the projects he and Doc had going at the lab, he was always doing some kind of numbers crunch for his boss.

Peter slows his pace when he takes note of your expression, avoiding his eyes, “I swear I’ll be right back,” he says as he walks back towards the couch where you sat, “30 minutes tops, I’ll be here before the pizza guy, I promise.”

So it wouldn’t be a long late night call by Doc, then. That makes you feel the tiniest bit better, and you give him a small half-hearted smile. What were you supposed to say? No, don’t go to your job that you’re so crazy passionate about? Don’t go help your boss on a project that could potentially change lives? You make no move to stop him.

“I promise,” Peter repeats when he doesn’t see a lift in your spirits. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours again, lighting you on fire from the inside, “don’t start the episode without me!”

You tried to take that as a sign that he meant it. Half an hour and he would be back with the pizza still hot in the box. So you kissed him goodbye and sat on the couch by yourself in the apartment. As soon as the episode started, you hit pause and texted Peter that you had done so, letting him know that every second you were away from Jon Snow would be counted towards your next pizza night.

20 minutes passed, and the pizza showed up with steam rising from the box. His half with sausage and mushroom was untouched as you grabbed a slice from your side. Just because he said to wait on the show didn’t mean you had to wait for dinner.

30 minutes, and you figured he was fighting the night rush on the train. He didn’t answer your text message, but he probably needed all of his attention on his work right now. You don’t make a fuss, keeping the show paused.

After an hour of no response, you get fed up of sitting with just your phone and decide to unpause the show. If he came in and mentioned it, you would tell him to watch it tomorrow night while you were at work. But he doesn’t come back. Even when the episode is over, you haven’t heard the jingle of the keys in the lock.

Two hours late, as you decide to pack it up for bed, your phone buzzes on the coffee table. From the kitchen, putting the box of pizza in the fridge, you heavily roll your eyes. Your disappointment was riddled with hints of anger, but there was also confusion. Peter had always been flakey, he’d always been late, he’d always been absent-minded and forgetful, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d put his phone face time when around you lately.

It could mean nothing. In fact, it probably did mean nothing, but there was a sense of dread in your gut. You weren’t sure you wanted to face the idea that was forming in the back of your head. Because you loved Peter, you loved him so much you weren’t sure what life had been like before you started loving him. He made you feel safe and seen and understood, he made you feel like someone important in a city where nobody mattered unless they were on the front page of a magazine.

And if there was one thing you were sure of anymore, it was that Peter Parker loved you too. Nothing had shaken that fact over the last four years, and you weren’t sure anything ever would.

But you could still be upset with him when he did things like this. Like bailing on your traditional date night, like standing you up on one of the most important nights of your rising career. You picked up your phone, reading the text from Peter that had come in two minutes ago. All the lights in the apartment were off, and you were ready to tuck yourself into bed.

His message read, “Baby I’m so sorry. I’m gonna be a little while still, please don’t be too mad at me.”

The words “I’m so sorry” were starting to grow old to you. You lock your phone and leave it in the living room with the screen facing up, no response, and your chest getting heavier and heavier as you sit in the empty apartment by yourself.

★★★★★★

He’s just late, you tell yourself, like always. He’s always late.

You couldn’t even tell yourself that he’d never been two hours late befor because he had. Sitting in the corner booth of Leo’s pizza, more dressed up than you should be for a place like this, you try to convince yourself that Peter was late for a good reason.

The train broke down, he’d had his phone stolen, sandman was on the loose again and he had to take the long way here.

But the news was mostly quiet, with no attacks, and he hadn’t even texted you. Again.

You stir the straw in your soda, watching the melting ice bump into the sides of the glass as your mind runs rampant. After Peter had bailed on your pizza and Game of Thrones night, you had been angry and hurt and unable to hide that from him. His apology? Take you out to Leo’s for dinner, your favorite pizza place of all time.

There was no way Peter would stand you up for your apology date. Not even he was the absent-minded, you were sure. You’d been talking about it just this morning over breakfast in the kitchen. He’d given you free rein of the toppings, and he would meet you here after work.

Looking at the clock, two hours had become three, and Leo’s would close in one more. Sitting back in your booth seat, you swallow the lump of emotions that wanted to burst out.

“That boy still not here?” Leo, the man behind the counter, asks you.

The burly Italian man had been witness to your guys’ relationship grow. From your first date to your anniversary dates to your celebration dates. He’d seen it all from behind the counter, and you were sure he would be witness to every other milestone. At least, you had been.

Sitting in the booth alone, you were beginning to wonder if there was anything beyond these four years with Pete.

“I wish I knew, Leo,” you admit and look down at your phone.

It buzzes as you’re looking at it. But when you see Pete’s name pop up, you don’t feel any sense of relief or anger or even sadness. Maybe you just didn’t want to feel it all at once in front of poor Leo. He didn’t need to witness that part of your relationship.

Pete had said, “Where are you at? Working late?”

You couldn’t help the scoff, “he forgot about me,” you say more to yourself than anyone else.

“What was that?” Leo asks when he catches a hint of your mumbling.

You look up from the phone, tucking it away into your pocket, and give the man a tight smile, “nothing, Leo. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Pushing yourself out of the booth, you wonder how you would go about this. Peter had been bailing on you more and more these past few months. With date the gala, with date night, and not to mention the countless nights he comes home so late you think he’s an intruder half the time. Had he always been like this and you were only noticing now that you lived together? Or had you just ignored it because of how much you loved him?

“Not a waste of time,” Leo assures you as you walk towards the door, “you and Peter will come back soon, I’m sure.”

He sounded confident. But you couldn’t even bring yourself to politely agree. You thanked him again. You texted Peter back while taking your time walking towards the train station.

“Well, I was at Leo’s,” you reply, “waiting for your amazing apology date.”

Not even a full minute goes by before his caller ID appears on your phone. You answer it out of pure curiosity, too tired to be angry at him anymore or even upset with him. He’s speaking before the phone can even fully reach your ear. Pete’s voice sounds frantic.

“I'm on my way!” He insists, “just give me two minutes and I’ll be there, I swear, (Y/N)!”

“Forget it, Peter,” you hope your voice doesn’t sound as strained as it feels, “I already left. Go back to work.”

“I wasn’t at work, I was…” He doesn’t seem to have a good answer for her, “Just give me two minutes, (Y/N) and I can still make this date happen, I promise!”

“Peter…” You weren’t sure you wanted to go back to the apartment and face the conclusion you were drawing, “all I’ve heard the past month are apologies and promises you don’t keep. It’s exhausting.”

“I know, I know, I’ve been a shit boyfriend but I’ll get it together, I know I will.”

“Even your apologies need apologies,” you sigh, rocks sitting in your chest and making you walk slower, “how many more nights are you going to stand me up this month alone?”

“None!” He insists, “It’s not gonna happen again, ever.”

“Why has it already happened six times then?” You shake your head as you reach the train station, your stomach rumbling as you regret not getting a slice of pizza to go, “and yes, I’ve counted. That’s just this month!”

There’s no immediate response on his end, and the silence makes the rocks in your chest grow to fill your stomach as well. It was like every conversation you had was giving you more reason to believe that suspicion that you wanted to forget about because it made no sense.

In the night air of New York, you can smell pizza and trash trucks littering the street. And somewhere in the distance, the sirens that were always going in this city. You weren’t sure if it was from your end or Peter’s

“(Y/N), when you get home I swear we’ll talk this out,” he finally breaks his stretch of silence, “I’ll be waiting for you, and you can yell at me for however long you need but–”

You close your eyes for a moment and grip the phone, “do not say you need to go.”

“I have to go…dammit,” he mutters the last word to himself, “I’ll meet you at home, (Y/N), I’ll be there and we can work this out.”

You shake your head, watching as a train approaches the boarding area. One that wouldn’t lead you to the apartment but to somewhere else. You step onto the nearly empty car, watching a few people shuffle out and pay you no mind.

“Don’t bother, Peter,” you say, “I’m staying with my parents tonight, okay? So just go back to whatever work is more important than I am.”

★★★★★★

A very common task given to you at work was getting coffee. Usually, it was the first thing you did in the mornings when your boss handed you a company card and a piece of paper with everyone's order on it. Sometimes throughout the day, you would be sent on other various food and drink runs, but only around meal times.

Sitting at your desk, you were looking over the files on your computer that contained a few of the articles being pitched to your boss that afternoon. Your task was the weed out the “boring” ones by trying to decide what he would deem boring in the first place. You weren’t expecting any kind of task before the meeting, so all of your attention was on the article on your screen.

“(Y/N)!” You jump nearly out of your desk chair when your boss yells your name from across the room, “We need a coffee run before this meeting!”

Your boss was not a man of patience, so you had a few seconds before he got annoyed with your lack of movement. Closing the tab on your computer, you grab a piece of loose paper and a pen and start across the room of office cubicles towards him.

“Your usual, sir?” You ask him in the fake professional voice you’d taken to using with him.

He nods his head and holds up the silver credit card for office expenses, “Yes, and an iced chai for Martha when she gets here, and a vanilla latte with soy for Marcus.”

You scribble down the other orders as you nod your head and take the card, “I’m on it, back in a jiff.”

“(Y/N)!” here it came, “can I get a lavender mocha?!”

Everyone would shout orders at you as you left when they heard a coffee run was being called. Normally, you tried to get out of there as quickly as possible before too many orders piled up. Because no one would offer to come with you to help carry them, and you could only carry so many steaming cups before you were destined to spill them on yourself.

The paper is filled before you’re in the elevator anyway, leaving you with 8 orders of coffee. You liked being at work because you hardly had time to think for yourself. Unless you were doing some kind of food or drink run, and then you had entirely too much time to yourself. And right now, you didn’t want to spend too much time in your head.

For the past three days, you had been staying overnight at your parent's place in Queens. During the day you would be at your apartment, getting ready for work or making your meals, because you knew Peter would be gone at the lab. You hadn’t come face to face with him since the morning he stood you up for his apology date, and it’s because you couldn't bear to look at him. Just the thought of confronting him with the truth made you nauseous. You weren’t sure you wanted him to say it out loud or not.

Your parents hadn’t minded when you showed up, near tears, telling them that you were at least 80% sure that Peter was cheating on you. They’d offered you their guest room and told you to think about things with a clear head. Your mother had been very adamant that you talk to him first.

But you’d been ignoring his calls and texts like the plague. Partly because you wanted him to know what it felt like to be ignored, and partly because you weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him yet. You knew you would talk to him when you were damn well ready, and you weren’t ready. Not this morning when he sent his usual “good morning” message and asked if you wanted to meet for lunch.

Maybe tonight you would talk to him. You would bite the bullet and get the truth, even if you didn’t like what it was.

As you stand and wait for your two coffee carriers, you look down at your phone and all of Peter’s unanswered texts and voicemails. He was persistent, especially when it came to your relationship. You love that about him.

Peter Parker didn’t do anything half-assed. Everything he did from school to work was 100%, and relationships had never been different. At least not until now. He’d loved you as much as you loved him, you had been sure of that until now. You just didn’t understand when that had changed. What had made him back away from you to the point of forgetting about you multiple times a month?

“(Y/N)!” You hear it called from up ahead. You look up from your phone, wondering if your order was done already. But you see a familiar face walking towards you in a grey sweater vest and a head of thinning brown hair with small glasses.

You smile and turn your body to face him, “Doctor Octavius!” You greet, “it’s been a while!”

“It has,” he agrees as he reaches out to shake your hand, “it’s so funny running into you here. I’m here every day for lunch but we’ve never run into each other.”

You shake your head politely, “this is an odd time for a coffee run for me,” you assure him, “so how are you? Things at the lab doing okay? Peter is so excited to be working with you.”

“And I’m happy to have him,” Dr. Octavius says, “he’s passionate about helping people, that boy,” he then waves a hand through the air to laugh, “if only he could be on time for once in his life! But I’m sure you know all about that.”

You give a pained smile, hoping it looked more real than it felt, “You have no idea,” you agree and then try to forget about the sore subject in your relationship, “but I’m sure he’s making up for it with all the late nights, he’s always thinking about your guys’ projects.”

Dr. Octavius laughs while pushing up his glasses, “Oh, I wish we could do late nights,” he tells you, and your heart begins to pound, “I’m afraid I don’t have the funding to keep workers past normal hours. But that’s not an issue for now, I’m glad Peter has some spare time to spend with you. You two remind me so much of me and my wife when were young…”

His word became muffled. No late nights. He didn’t have the funding for late nights. But Peter had been telling you that he was at work, with Dr. Octavius. He’d been telling you that for months. If he wasn’t there…where had he been going? Why had he been lying to you? What was the point of lying to you?

You’d never been the kind of person to tell Peter what he could and couldn’t do. It was his life, his choices, his spare time. Why did he feel the need to tell he was somewhere when he wasn’t? The weight in your chest stretched down to your stomach, and you wondered if anxiety-vomiting was a real thing. It felt like you were about to find out.

“Order for (Y/N)!” Your name breaks your trance as well as the conversation with Dr. Octavius, who was still speaking despite you not hearing it. You look up at the barista counter, where your 8 drinks are waiting for you to grab them.

“Oh, I’ll let you get back to work,” the doctor says as he hears your name as well, “I hope we run into each other again, (Y/N).”

“Me too, Doctor,” you tell him, hoping it sounded scincere, “good luck with your research, I can’t wait to hear about it!”

The doctor smiles, and he’s about to turn away when he looks back at you, “Oh, and (Y/N), great work on that Oscorp piece last week!”

Any other day, you would be ecstatic that someone had read you piece in the back of the paper and at the bottom of the website. Especially after all the work you put into gathering information on Oscorp’s underhanded carbon emissions from half of their facilities. But you didn’t feel that excitement, you hardly felt anything about it. But you thanked Dr. Octavius and grabbed your row of drinks off the counter.

Your brain was in another world entirely as you balanced everything on your hands. Peter had been lying to you for months. Maybe even longer than that. He was bailing on your dates, leaving you alone in the apartment at night to “work.” Still, you tied to put half of your focus on getting back to work in time for the meeting without spilling anything. You only took your eyes off the coffee to check your footing.

But the streets of New York were never kind, not even to those having a month full of bad days. With your eyes on the coffee, you fail to notice an incoming biker barreling down the sidewalk. There’s a ding of a bell that makes you look up, but it was to late to get out of his way without spilling anything.

What’s one more bad day, You think when you realize your situation, on top of all the others?

Still, you yelp as he barely swerves around you, your foot caught under his thin tire. When you jump from pain, your hands instinctually let go of the coffee trays. The smell of lavender and espresso douse your nice work clothes, and hot liquid burning the exposed skin it touches. You jump back from the biker, who was already whizzing past you and disappearing into the city. The edge of the sidewalk was right there, and your heel is already too close to the edge.

“Whoa! Watch out!” You hear someone calling down at you, but what were you supposed to do? You were already slipping into the road and watching as cars didn't bother to slow down.

There’s a burst of air at your side, a hand on your hip, and your feet are barely picked up off the ground before being sat back down a few feet further into the walkway. You saw the red and blue before you could process the entirety of what had just happened. Spider-Man, the walking legend of the New York streets. He was the small time hero whs ometimes got into big-time fights. Your boss absolutely loved him.

You’d never had a personal enounter with the hero before, and you didn’t think you would ever need to. But you’d heard plenty of stories from other people while working. He was a good man, someone who cared about the people of New York, even the small people like you who didn’t have their names on billboards.

“Are you okay?” He aks you.

His voice was a little distorted when you heard it, robitcally. It must be another way for him to protect his identity, you assume. Maybe his suit was more high tech than people realized. You look over at him, wide eyes, coffee all over you, your skin tinted red from the heat, and you say nothing at first. Taking in the situation. Taking in the information Octavius had given you, and the only conclusion you could draw from it.

Spider-Man tilts his head as he lets go of your waist, “Miss…are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Besides the burning coffee your arms an your throbbing foot, you shake your head. But you could feel the emotions you were pushing down starting to bubble over. A month of ignoring signs that the person you loved more than anything was cheating on you, hoping it was all some big misunderstanding. Your job piling more tasks on you because you could take it, with no breaks and hardly time to eat lunch. You just wanted a pizza night with Peter, with your favorite show and your favorite person right next to you. But he was, clearly, with someone else when he was supposed to be with you.

Your eyes start to burn.

“Okay, good,” Spider-Man says with a nod of hs red and blue mask, “that was almost bad. Do you need smeone to uh…walk you back to wherever you’re going?”

Why did he care? You were fine, just getting more upset by the second. Any minute the dams would burst and you didn’t need a superhero seeing you cry over spilled coffee. So you shake your head again, trying to wipe the coffee from your skin.

“That looks like it hurts,” Spider-Man comments when he sees the light burn on your arms, “we should get some ice on that. That coffee shop should have some,” he points to where you had just come from.

You shake your head again, “I’m fine.”

But even to you your voice sounded thick with emotions he woudln’t understand. Hell, you didn’t even fully understand them. What you understand is that Peter wasn’t going to be who you call anymore after a bad day. You wouldn’t go home to him tonight because he would be gone, tell you it was for work, and then turn his phone upside downwhen he got back.

“Alright miss, if you’re sure,” he says, “but some ice water might make it feel better. I’ve had few coffee burns before too.”

You weren’t sure what the final straw was, but you couldn't stop it anymore. The tears fell, and you drop your head into your hands to block it from anyone who walked by. But nobody in New York cared about people who cried in the street, you knew that. You just didn’t want to be the weirdo on this day who broke down in front of a coffee shop. Keeping you cries as internal as possible, you begin to turn towards the coffee shop once more.

“Whoa,” Spider-Man stops you, “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Why are you crying? It’s just a few cups of coffee, we can order more.”

This stranger sounded so much like Peter in his words that it made you cry a little bit harder. Peter was the go to for any kind of comfort. He spoke so calmly when you were loosing it that if made you feel more in control. You hated it right now because you weren’t in control of anything anymore.

Spider-Man places a covered hand on your shoulder that you’re too upset to brush away.

“It’s everything!” You sniffle on the street, people pushing around you without sparing your emotional break a glance, “I’m gonna be late to the meeting because i have to chage clothes, and now I have to get more coffee, and I think my boyfriend is cheating on me!”

Hearing the words out loud, you cries become harder to muffle and tears begin to fall onto your palms. Peter was cheating on you, you were sure of that. There was nothing else that explained his behavior and lies. Normally you wouldn’t wail about your problem to a stranger, but what could it hurt? It’s not like he knew you or Peter, and he would forget about this in an hour when he was pulling a kitten from a tree.

“Wait, why would you…” his voice sounded hurried at first before he stopped and corrected himself, “um why do you think that, Miss? That your boyfriend is cheating on you? I really doubt that’s the case, I mean I don’t know him but I think that’s way out there to assume, not that I know anything about your relationship–”

“What do you care?” You turn from the super hero and back towards the coffee shop, where you try to swallow down your cries and sniffles long enough to order your coffee for a second time.

★★★★★★

Your boss had not been happy to see you appear in coffee covered clothes with a slight limp. He’d been the slightest bit concerned when he also took note of your red eyes and ruined hair, but then told you to go home and change as quick as humanly possible.

But you didn’t move like you were in a rush. Actually, you drug your feet back to your apartment hoping that Peter would really be at work. You didn’t even want to walk into the home you shared with him knowing that he had been running around with someone else while you were there alone. But you had no where else to go and change that was within a one-train-ride distance.

You unlock the door, eyes still stinging at the corners, your clothes sticking to your body. And there was a slight sting in your skin where the coffee had hit. Maybe Spider-Man had been right about icing it. Maybe a cold shower would make you feel better physically and emotionally, but you doubted it.

You open the front door, dropping your keys in the tray by the door.

“(Y/N)! You’re home!” You nearly jumped out of your skin when Peter’s voice came from the living area, “please, we need to talk!”

You look at him as you shut the door behind you, and you wanted to start crying just seeing him. But you held it in and turned away from him.

“I don’t have time for this, Peter,” you tell him, “I’m late for a meeting and I have to shower before I go back.”

“Please, (Y/N) even just a two minute conversation, I swear,” he pushed, walking after you as you went towards the bedroom where you had a bathroom connected, “you don’t even have to talk, just listen.”

“I don’t have time for this!” You repeat, starting to get irritated in the sadness you felt when he spoke your name. You reach the bedroom and make a beeline for the bathroom, wondering if he would disappear before you got out. He follows you up until you close the bathroom door in his face. Your tears fall again under the cold water, and you hope he can’t hear it.

You showered, changed, and blow dried your hair. Not as quickly as you could’ve, but quick enough for your boss to think you moved as fast as you could. Part of you didn’t even want to go back in, but the other option was staying here and facing the music with your boyfriend.

Who was still there when you opened the bathroom door. Sitting on the bed you two shared. His side was strewn about from sleeping, his pillow crooked, the blanks tossed aside. But your side was untouched, even your half of the blankets pulled up. You were always the one to make the bed. He immediately stands up when he hears the door open, turning towards you.

His normally put together hair was frazzed. He ran his hands through it when he was upset. It was one of his tells when he was nervous and tried to hide it.

“Peter…” you sigh as he gets up to follow you from the bedroom, “please, not now. I have a lot to do at work, and I don’t need to be thinking about this while I’m there.”

“You won’t come home at night,” Peter says behind you as you reach for your shoes by the door. They still had coffee marks on them, “you only come back when you know I’m at work, I don’t know when we’ll be able to talk aside from showing up at your work. Which I have thought about, believe me.”

“Then just wait until I’m ready to talk,” you tell him, “what’s wrong with that option?”

“Because I really want us to go back to normal, (Y/N). I want you to come home, and I want to see you next to me in the mornings, and I want to hear about your day–”

“We can’t go back to normal, Peter,” it looks like you were doing this now. There was no way around it anymore. Part of you was relieved, “not after this. I don’t even think there can be an us to go back to.”

“Please don’t do this, (Y/N),” he pleas, approaching you but keeping enough distance between you that you didn’t feel trapped here, “I know…that…I know you think that I’ve been doing something, I know what you think and you have to know–”

“How would you know what I think, Peter?” You ask him, your throat threatening to close, “you’re not around to hear what I think anymore! You’re never here, you’re running out in the middle of the night, you’re lying about where you are!”

“I know that I’ve made some stupid mistakes this past month,” he insists, “but I can fix it all, I swear, and you’ll never have to deal with those problems again.”

Fix it all. He couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t fix the fact that you didn’t believe a single word he said now. Or that you would always wonder if he was looking at someone else when you went out on dates. But you still looked at him and you loved him because you knew what it felt like to be loved by him at one point. When had that changed? When had he stopped loving you? Was it so quick you only noticed now, or had it been so slowly you hadn’t noticed at all?

“Just…” you inhale deeply and try to keep your breathing steady, “tell me the truth…please. Are you cheating–”

“No,” he shakes his head before the question is even out.

“--on me? Are you seeing someone else?”

“No,” he repeats, “I am not, have never, and will never cheat on you, (Y/N), I promise.”

“I don’t believe your promises anymore, Peter.”

“I love you,” he takes a few steps to close to distance between you two so he’s standing directly in front of you. He reaches down for your shaking hands, like he wanted to steady to flurry of emotions you were feeling, “I love you so much, and that is a promise I have never broken. Why do you think that? Why would you ever think I would chose someone over you?”

You pull your hands away from his, sick at how at ease he could still make you feel when he spoke with such a calm voice. You didn’t want to be calm or sad. You wanted to be angry. But his brown eyes only left you feeling small and defeated.

“What else am I supposed to think?” you shake your head and take a step away from him, “what are my other options? Of course there’s someone else–”

“There’s no one,” he presses, “You’re the only person I’ve ever loved like this.”

“So you leave me at a table by myself at Leos?” You ask with a disbelieving headshake, “and tell me you’re at work when Dr. Octavius says he can’t keep you after hours? If you’re not cheating, Peter, then why all the lies? Give me the truth, or I don’t think I can handle being loved like this anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything. Your shoe are on, youre reaching for the doorhandle, and you don’t think he’s going to stop you. That hurts more than anything. Or mayb all of the hurt was piling up and you didn’t know what was the most painful anymore. You couldn’t look back at him for fear you would crack and beg for an answer.

Your hands on the door handle, you want him to stop you, but you refuse to beg him to choose you.

There’s a thwipp sound behind you, and then something cold has your hand pinned to the doorknob. Unable to turn it. You look down at it, and a pile of white spiderwebs is covered your hand entirely. Looking back at Peter, his hand is out and pointed in your direction. His eyes are wide, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing either.

“I-I’m sorry,” he says and takes his hands through his hair in distress, “I didn’t want you to find out like this, but I couldn’t let you walk away thinking that I had cheated on you.”

Your head was going a mile a minute, probably not even on Earth anymore, and you were staring down at the webs covering your hand. Your first coherent thought was that it was Peter you had cried in front of an hour ago, crying about your cheating boyfriend. The second thought was that this also made sense for all the lies and the leaving.

“I’m not gonna stop you from leaving me,” He’s rambling behind you, “even though I’m ready to get down on my hands and knees and grovel for one more chance, but if you need to walk away from me then please just know the truth when you do it. I love you, (Y/N), and that is the only thing I’m sure is true anymore.”

You sniffle, your tears having run dry, “Peter,” you say in a dull and emotionless voice, “can you come get this shit off my hand so I can go back to work?”

★★★★★★

Needless to say, you didn’t get anything productive done after that encounter with Peter. It wasn’t hard to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t cheating on you. You’d been looking for a reason to do that for a month now. But the fact that he was Spider-Man?

Your Peter, who hated violence, who was as peaceful as a butterfly, who didn’t even like watching MMA fights, was a crime fighting superhero? With powers? And you’d been living under the same room as him for a year and had never noticed?

Your brain was connecting the pieces of every time thing that had happened. Like when the sink handle had broken off one morning in Peter’s hand when you’d first moved into the apartment. You’d laughed about it, thinking about what a funny stroke of bad luck he’d had. Or when he’d come home bruises along his back and say he’d fallen while trying to get work on time. It had sounded true at the time, but Peter wasn’t the clumsy type. Now you knew why. He was coordinated enough to fight super villains.

None of what you needed to get done happened at work. You could hardly process any words you read, and any conversations went in one ear and out the other. Your boyfriend was Spider-Man, you were still grappling with that revelation by the time you got off.

You decided to go home. Now that you knew Peter wasn’t cheating on you, it felt like you could at least see the place again. However, on your walk to the train station, you were hyper aware of every se of sirens that went off somewhere in the distance. Which was every three seconds in New York, and the worry you felt knowing he could be at any crime scene was arguably as bad as the anxiety you’d felt all day.

Of course you could text him. But after ignoring him for three days, it felt only right to talk in person. You hoped you would be home when you arrived, but if not, you would have to wait. It would give you time to think of what you were going to say. Of how you wanted to go about things now that you knew the truth.

You unlocked the front door with anxiety running through your veins. On the other side, the remains of his webs from earlier were still hanging from the doorknob. He’d cut you free with his house keys, and you’d left before you could see the webs closely. When he wasn’t inside, you looked at them a little closer. They were as thin as real spider webs, but you’d felt how strong they were when holding your hand down. Peter was genius enough to make these himself, that’s for sure.

The apartment was empty. You didn’t hear any sign of Peter. So you place your keys in the tray by the door and take a seat on the couch, letting things slowly settle in your head.

You sent Peter a text, “I’m at home. We should talk.”

You honestly weren’t expecting a reply, so you set your phone down and decide to find something to eat. As you silently open the fridge, your options are slim. There’s one can of Dr. Pepper, left over pasta, and a container of uncooked mushrooms in the drawer. Peter clearly hadn’t been shopping while you were gone. You reach for the left over pasta, figuring it was your only option that required minimal cooking tonight.

“(Y/N),” your name makes you jump a mile in the air, a yelp leaving you. Spinning around, you see Peter.

He’s sitting on the edge of a newly opened window that led to your fire escape. In a familiar red and blue suit with a web design on it. The mask is crumpled in his hand, like he didn’t want you to panic when you saw him. His hair is a frizzed mess, and his eyes are staring at you like he was shocked to find you standing in the kitchen.

“You’re here,” he says as you place a hand on your chest to feel how hard your heart is hammering.

He steps into the living area, and you can see the suit in clear lighting. He came in so easily and with skill. Like he’d done it a million times before.

“That’s how you get in without setting off the alarm?!” You ask him in disbelief.

He looks back at the window for a second, and then back at you, “Yeah,” he confirms, “It doesn’t wake you up, and it’s less stairs.”

“Less stairs,” you repeat and nod your head, setting your cold pasta on the counter, “yeah, makes sense, sure.”

Peter puts the mask on the coffee table beside your phone, “you want to talk?” he asks, as if confirming it was you who sent the text message, “I wasn’t sure you were ever coming back, if I’m honest.”

“Well I did ask for the truth,” you tell him, leaning back against the, “I can’t be mad that I got it.”

There’s silence on his end. Like he wasn’t sure what to say next. But you weren’t either. A few things came to mind, but you didn’t know where to start. So you decided on the first thing that came up when you opened your mouth.

“I’m sorry,” you land on, “for thinking you were cheating.”

Peter looks up, eyes wide, clearly not having expected that, “what? Don’t apologize, I’m supposed to be apologzing.”

“Yeah, well, I figured I owe you one too.”

The space between you two felt like miles, but it was only feet. And the apartment felt cold, like you were both avoiding making the first move. You wanted him back at your side, as close to you as he could be. You wanted to sit on the couch with Peter as your peasonal heated blanket, listening to his heartbeat as you fell asleep.

“I owe you about a million more,” Peter shakes his head and finally breaks the distance separating you two, “I never should’ve even let you begin to think that I would pick someone else over you. I should’ve told you the truth years ago, I should’ve told you the moment I realized I loved you, I’m sorry.”

He’s maybe a foot away. He’d closed the distance up until now, and you decide to close the rest. Your hands reach out, the feeling of the suit alien under your fingers, but his warmth reminds you that its him. Pulling him forward, he practically melts into you as you wrap your arms around him. Burying your face into his neck, feeling his hair between your fingers. It was Peter, your loyal and loving Peter.

Peter holds you back. Now you know that the strength he’s holding back is because he doesn’t want to hurt you. How could Peter ever hurt you? He loved you, and you loved him. After too long thinking that that was a lie, it was a relief to know it was still true. Keeping this kind of secret couldn’t have been easy for him, just as it hadn’t been easy for you to think he was being unfaithful.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask him as he leans his body against yours, his face buried in your hair in relief, “it’s been years, Pete, you could’ve trusted me with this…”

He lifts his head, only enough so he could press his forehead to yours, “I do trust you,” he says, “but I also love you more than life itself, so I have to protect you above anything else. There’s a lot of people out there who wanna hurt me, and I will not let them use you to do it. I can’t do that to you.”

“Pete trusting me with something like this isn’t damning me to being a damsel in distress,” you inform him carefully, using your hands to gently swipe his messy hair from his eyes.

The apartment was dimly lit, something you’d always complained about, but you could see his face clear as day as he clung to you in the kitchen light. His brown eyes glossy with tears, the freckles dotting his cheeks that you counted when you couldn’t sleep. You though your knew everything about him, every part of him, but he had been hiding an entirely differen life from you. A life that couldn’t have been easy to shoulder all on his own. You couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him for hiding from you only to protect you.

“I couldn’t risk it,” he admits, his voice as soft as the light above you, “but I also couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking that I didn’t love you with every cell in my body. I needed you to know the truth even if you still left.”

You shake your head against his, “this isn’t going to drive me away, Pete,” you assure him, palms coming to a rest on his cheeks, “what’ll drive me away is the lies. Promise me no more lies, Pete, please.”

He’s nodding his head before you can even finish the sentence, “No more,” he says, “no more lies or secrets, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You believed him. Not just because you wanted to, but because you could feel that me meant it. Every doubt that you’d had in your head is flooded away as you make the first move to kiss him. His lips were as soft as they always were, his movements just as gentle. He was still your Peter, the same guy you fell in love with over Leo’s pizza. He leans forward, pinning you against the counter so he get a solid grip on your waist.

He hoists you up with one hand, and you can’t help but gasp as he lands your butt on the counter without blinking. He chuckles at your reaction, settling himself between your knees in your shock.

“You’ve been hiding this the whole time?” you ask, now more interested than anything else. You lock your legs around his hips, “Pete, we could’ve been having some real fun with this.”

Peter grins, “Trust me, I know, I’ve had a few dreams about it.”

179 notes · View notes

lovelettersforthedamned · 7 months

Note

hi hi hi hi i saw this post and i wanna see your take on it (with peter ofc like hurt/comfort) (https://www.tumblr.com/moonstruckme/730170525023862784/okay-hey-me-again-was-hoping-to-send-a-request?source=share) something similar happened to me a couple of weeks ago too.

So a couple of weeks ago i was planning like this whole big get together and was texting everyone and planning food, decorations and everything and the day of most people either canceled or just literally didnt show up and i didnt even get a text or anything, and i literally spent hours planning, like i went to TJMaxx, Marshalls and stuff like that to find cute decorations and everything, like i spent all of my own money on this. Since no one came i literally sat in my house all dolled up eating everything and watch tv cuz i was upset. THEN around like 11 at night i was on instagram (and im guessing one of them forgot to take me off their close friends) and i saw a story of basically everyone i invited to my party go to another persons party or something i wasnt invited to ig and none of them told me. Like if im being honest, if they couldnt come cuz of some other event i would have moved the date even tho i picked it first. but like, its so shitty cuz they are like my main friend group and its hard for me to mingle with people in general. I have been texting like dry responses and the group chat has been empty since and i have no idea what to do. - 🎀

That’s What Peter’s For

✮ tasm!peter parker x f!reader

✮ word count: 0.8k

✮ warnings: one forehead kiss, hurt/comfort, mentions of food, angst.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

main masterlist ⋆ peter parker masterlist

✮ gif by @spidey-stark

The TV in front of you flickered from frame to frame, each pixel reflecting a bright and blinding light into your dark living room. It’s late as you sit alone on the couch, eating the food you prepared for your friends going to waste due to your overplanning. Or maybe because they didn’t bother to show up.

As you mindlessly shovel food into your mouth, you think back on your trips to pick out decorations for this night. You went with Peter, and you spent too much, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friends to gawk at the effort you put in, you just wanted them to care.

When you were picking out an outfit for tonight, you tried on each variation, but to no avail, you weren’t satisfied. The bedroom looked like a warzone. Shirts and pants scattered along the floor, leaving little to no walking room. You couldn’t help but look forward to seeing everyone, the thought making you anxious for everyone to arrive.

Peter was out for the night doing his nightly activities, when the clock struck eight, signaling that your friends should be here at any moment. You were still perfecting some of the drinks when you checked the clock again, eight forty-five. Your eyes furrowed in confusion as you walked over to your phone to double-check the time and also look for any ‘running late, sorry’ messages. And to your surprise, the time was correct, and no one had texted you.

Taking a seat on the couch, you looked for the digital invite you’d sent everyone to double-check check you got the date right. Maybe I’m the wrong one? Once you found it, you took a deep breath. The date is right.

You tried to find answers as you scrolled through social media. One of the people invited to your party posted a video of themselves dancing in a dimly lit club, the camera panned over to the rest of the group. You can feel your heart sink into your stomach as you realize that everyone you’ve invited was in that video posted five minutes ago.

Now it’s almost midnight, and you haven’t moved besides turning on the TV and reaching for the snacks on your coffee table. Thick tears roll down your face, taking your makeup with you. You texted one of them a few hours ago, simply asking when they would arrive at your place. And of course, you didn’t receive a response.

Too in your mind, you don’t even hear the front door open, revealing Peter quickly shoving his suit in his backpack. He was assuming that there would be other people filling in his apartment, causing him to change in the alley and rush up to meet you. A smile is on his face until he’s met with the sound of silence along with the muffled noise from whatever you are watching.

Then his eyes land on you. Walking over he can’t see your tear-stained cheeks yet as he asks, “Where is everyone, bug?” You sniffle, before turning your head to look at him, instantly breaking down in tears. “Woah,” he instantly sits next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a hug, “tell me what happened.” His tone suddenly turns stern, as he worries.

You look up at him, your skin smudged with a thick smear of black from the mascara you delicately applied just hours before. “Th–They…never showed up,” you take a shaky breath, “everyone ditched me for something else, Pete. And n–no one told me.”

Peter’s worry turned into anger. He was there for you through all of the planning, all of the grocery trips, and all of the outfit changes, and none of them cared to show. He knew that you needed him in this moment. You needed a warm embrace to pour your heart out. And that you did.

You sat and cried with Peter until you fell asleep, exhaustion taking over your body. When Peter felt your breathing even out beside him, he turned off the TV and carried you to your shared bedroom. Placing you down on the mattress, he walked back into the kitchen, quietly packing everything up, and cleaning the space. The last thing you needed to see tomorrow morning was the events of tonight.

You didn’t stir until you felt a cold cloth on your face, softly wiping at your skin. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m just taking your makeup off,” he hushes, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead. You relax under him. The feeling of someone looking after you makes you melt further into the mattress.

With Peter everything was alright, and you knew that he would be right at your side through all of it. That includes texting your friends a lengthy paragraph about the value of friendship.

✮ author's note: oh 🎀 anon, im so sorry you had to deal with this. i've been through something like this a few years back, and it is such a shitty feeling. you don't deserve friends that will push you aside for something they think is better. friendships do not work like that. they should have communicated with you about not making it, but the fact that they just ghosted you completely and tried to cover it up??? shady as hell. i'm always here to listen!!

don't forget to like, comment, and reblog to support this if you liked it!! my asks/inbox is open, so send in requests if you'd like. ok, ily bye<333

#fluff #marvel #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x reader #andrew garfield peter parker #tasm!peter parker #spiderman #peter parker #peter parker hurt/comfort

134 notes · View notes

chelseachilly · 10 months

Text

when i'm feeling alone, you remind me of home

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: you're stranded at uni by yourself for christmas with no flights going to london, but your boyfriend has other ideas warnings: nothing but fluff ❄️🫶🏼 word count: 2.5k

author’s note: here's another holiday one-shot! hoping to write at least one more before christmas. also btw there is no regard for the actual chelsea december fixtures or club rules in this story lol. title from christmas tree farm by taylor 🎄

You’ve always loved snow.

You loved playing in it as a little kid, making snowmen with your parents and going sledding with friends. You loved watching it from your window your first year of uni, seeing the blanket of white make Edinburgh look even more magical. You love bundling up to go ice skating and drinking hot chocolate as the snow falls around you.

But right now, you absolutely hate it.

A massive snowstorm rolling through the UK has caused the cancellation all flights, including the one you were supposed to take from Edinburgh to London tonight. It’s your last year of university there, but you’ve never missed a Christmas at home with your family and your boyfriend.

Now, it’s two days until Christmas and you’re stranded alone in your little flat with absolutely no way of making it home.

“What? You can’t get a train?” Ben asks after you’ve explained your predicament to him sadly.

As much as you feel bad about missing the holiday with your parents, you feel really bad about not being able to see Ben. With your busy schedules, you’ve hardly seen him in months, and you even missed his birthday a couple days ago because you had an exam. Now, you were supposed to finally have an entire week with him in London.

You were going to go to Winter Wonderland and complain about tourists and end up going back to his to snuggle by the fireplace. You were going to have Christmas morning with your family and dinner with his, spending the whole day exchanging gifts and fond memories. You were going to watch his game on the 27th and bundle up in your warmest Chelsea gear to cheer your heart out for your man, which you’ve really missed doing lately.

You miss everything about him, really.

But instead, you’re going to be eating Indian takeaway leftovers and watching Love Actually to try to make yourself feel better.

“The trains are all full, I checked,” you sigh.

“Well, let me see if I can charter a plane-“

“Ben,” you cut him off before he gets ahead of myself. Although it’s quite extravagant for him to spend tens of thousands of dollars getting you there, you know he would do it in a heartbeat. “All flights are grounded, not just mine. It’s not possible.”

“But…there must be something.”

You can picture his disappointed face right now, and it brings tears to your eyes just thinking about it.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” you reply, sinking into your couch. “You know I would do anything to be there with you right now.”

“Don’t apologize to me, love, I can’t believe you’re going to spend Christmas alone,” Ben sighs. “This is so shit. I just wanna see you and hold you.”

“I know,” you exhale. “I miss you so much. The only thing that got me through exams was thinking about being home with you and playing with Oscar in the snow and baking cookies…”

You can feel yourself getting choked up, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks as you think about all you’ll be missing out on. You feel a bit silly, knowing there are people with far bigger problems in the world, but you’ve been working yourself to death for the past month to ace your finals and this trip home was the shining light at the end of the tunnel.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ben says sadly. “I miss you so much too. I wish there was something we could do.”

“Like control the weather?” you joke, trying to lighten the mood despite the tears running down your face.

“You know I would do it if I could,” he replies seriously. “I’m sorry this is happening, babe. Maybe the weather will clear up in a day or two and you’ll still be able to make it out for a few days, yeah?”

“Yeah, I suppose,” you breathe - some time with Ben and your family is better than nothing, but you’re still going to be alone for Christmas morning. “I should let you go, I don’t want to stop you from having a nice holiday too. Say hi to your mum and Alex for me when they get there, alright?”

“I will, baby,” Ben says. “I’ll text you later and call you in the morning, alright?”

“Alright,” you sniffle, wiping your tears away. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Bye, love.”

The moment Ben hangs up, you toss your cell onto the cushion beside you and bury your face in the pillow, groaning in frustration.

After feeling sorry for yourself for a bit, you reluctantly get up and go to turn up the heat and change into something warmer, as the temperatures outside continue to drop. You grab Ben’s hoodie from your closet, a cozy grey one you stole last time you were in London. It barely smells like him anymore, since that was over a month ago and you’ve worn and washed it several times, but it’s still a small comfort to wear something of his.

You heat up your dinner and put on the film, although the romantic scenes and the shots of London only seem to make you more homesick.

You text Ben during his favourite part, which is naturally Hugh Grant dancing around 10 Downing Street.

The annual Love Actually rewatch isn’t the same without you babe. Hope you’re having fun with the fam ❤️

He takes a while to respond, which you hope means he’s having a better time than you are and enjoying being with his family.

You’re just drifting off to sleep when his text finally comes in.

It’s not the same here without you either. Goodnight baby, talk in the morning 😘

You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing.

You briefly think it’s your alarm, but you don’t remember setting one, certainly not for 7AM, which is the current time according to your watch.

You blearily stretch your arms, a bit of a crick in your neck from falling asleep on the couch, and reach around haphazardly for your phone.

You see Ben’s name and contact photo on the screen and you quickly answer, worried something is wrong if he’s calling you at this time.

“Ben? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he assures you. “Can you go downstairs? There’s a delivery for you.”

“What?” you yawn, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “What on earth have you sent me at seven in the morning?”

“Just go check, I think you’ll like it,” Ben promises, and you can hear the smile tugging at his lips. “Quickly, babe. This is time sensitive.”

You roll your eyes fondly as you throw the blanket off yourself and slide on your slippers, leaving the warmth of your flat to go down the stairs and see what’s waiting for you outside the main doors. You can only imagine what ridiculous present your boyfriend had shipped to you overnight to try to make up for your failed Christmas.

You tighten Ben’s hoodie around your body to brace yourself for the cold before opening the door, your eyes on the ground where you’re expecting the package to be.

Instead, you see a familiar pair of Nikes - and your eyes trail up to see the very familiar man wearing them.

You’re not sure if you’re dreaming, so you blink a few times, only to be greeted with the same sight - your perfect, adorable boyfriend standing in front of you in his puffer jacket and hat, his cheeks red from the cold and his smile absolutely blinding.

“Ben?” you gasp. “Why are you - how are you here?”

“I couldn’t let you spend Christmas alone.”

You meet him halfway as he drops his bags to the ground and opens his arms for you to throw yourself at him. You hug him as tight as you can, burying your nose in his neck and inhaling his scent. You can’t believe this is really happening.

“How the hell did you get here?” you ask as he squeezes your waist tightly and kisses the top of your head.

“I drove,” Ben murmurs.

You pull back to look at him, your eyes wide with disbelief.

“You drove? It’s, like, eight hours-“

“Twelve in a snowstorm, apparently,” Ben chuckles. “But definitely worth it for this.”

“You drove all night through a snowstorm for me?”

You can feel tears beginning to brim in your eyes once again, though these are tears of joy. You can’t believe how insanely lucky you are to have a man who loves you this much.

“Of course I did, I would do anything for you,” Ben says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, brushing his nose against yours. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s been a long night and I would really love a kiss.”

Without hesitation, you grab his face and kiss him passionately, sighing with joy at the feeling of being reunited with your boyfriend. You’re certain that this is the most romantic and wonderful thing anyone has ever done for you, and although you never expected the best kiss of your life to happen on your doorstep at 7am in a blizzard, this just might take the top spot.

“I love you so damn much,” you whisper against his lips when you finally pull away. “But I am also slightly mad at you for driving at night in poor conditions.”

Ben laughs and rolls his eyes a bit. “I promise I was safe, but can we go inside where it’s warmer before we argue about it?”

“Hmm, okay,” you grin, pecking his lips a few more times before helping him lug his bags up the stairs to your flat.

Once you’re inside and Ben’s taken off his shoes and coat, you waste no time in wrapping your arms around him and kissing him again.

“You’re freezing, sweetheart,” you murmur as his cold hands slide under your - his - hoodie to feel your skin. “Want a tea? Or do you want to go straight to bed? You must be exhausted.”

“A tea and a cuddle would be perfect,” Ben smiles, pecking your forehead.

You tell him to go get comfy on the couch while you make tea for both of you, and when you return, he’s waiting for you with open arms and a sleepy grin on his face.

You place both mugs on the coffee table and curl up next to him, your face in the crook of his neck and your arms and legs tangled.

You let out a content sigh as your bodies recalibrate after so much time apart. You knew you needed this, but you didn’t know quite how much until right now.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you murmur, kissing his jaw. “What about your mum and Alex, though?”

“I told them how sad you sounded on the phone and they encouraged me to go, though my mum was slightly nervous about me making the drive-“

“As she should be,” you scold gently.

“I told you, I was very careful, and there were hardly any cars on the roads,” Ben promises once again. “Anyways, they were all for it. They knew I would’ve been miserable without you there.”

You hug him a bit tighter, hooking your leg around his. “Wait, you have a game in three days. Did the club really sign off on this?”

“I managed to persuade Poch to give me today off to go see my girl, I think he’s a bit of a softie at heart,” Ben jokes. “And we have tomorrow and the day after off for Christmas anyways. We’ll just have to drive back on the 26th, the roads are supposed to clear by then. I know it’s not the same as Christmas in London with both our families, but this is better than being apart, right?”

“Ben,” you say sincerely, cupping his cheek with one hand. “This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. A cozy Christmas with just the two of us sounds absolutely perfect. Thank you, baby.”

Your lips meet in another sweet kiss, one that quickly escalates as you feel your boyfriend’s hands on your hips and thighs for the first time in a month. You moan into his mouth as he tugs you into his lap.

“I missed you so much,” you breathe between kisses, tugging his hat off to run your hands through his messy hair.

“I can tell, hoodie thief,” Ben teases, fiddling with the soft material. “You look unreal in that, by the way. And I missed you more.”

You smile into another kiss, getting completely lost in him and his scent and his touch. Even after years together, you’re completely addicted to him.

You’re ready to take it further and move to your bedroom, but you’re interrupted by a yawn from Ben. He tries to kiss you again afterward, but you laugh softly and hold his face.

“You need sleep, Benjamin.”

He pouts slightly in protest, but you kiss him again quickly and it goes away.

“Babe, you’re exhausted,” you murmur softly. “We can go cuddle in my bed and continue this later.”

Ben sighs and nods as you climb off him and extend your hand to help him up. He doesn’t let go of your hand, though, instead pulling you into another warm hug. He’s so sleepy and adorable that you could nearly cry as he nuzzles his face into your hair.

He’s always been a very tactile person, and you know that for every time you tell him how much you missed and love him, he will hold you a little bit longer or kiss your forehead to say the exact same thing.

When you finally pull apart, you take him by the hand and lead him into your bedroom. He strips down to his boxers, which is how he prefers to sleep even in the dead of winter. He says you run hot enough to keep him warm, though you’re not sure if that’s true or he just likes to maximize your skin-on-skin contact.

He’s much warmer now than when you found him on your doorstep, so it’s not a shock to your system when you climb into bed with him and he immediately pulls you into his chest.

“I promise once you’ve had a proper rest I’ll make the drive worth your while, baby,” you say with a slight smirk as you wrap your arm around him and nuzzle your face into his neck.

Ben just tightens his grip on you and closes his eyes, a content smile on his face.

“It was worth it the second you opened the door.”

As you watch your boyfriend drift off to sleep, feeling so full of love for him that you might burst, you make a mental note to make it extra worth it for him later just for that adorable comment.

After you’ve both slept a few hours and spent another few making up for lost time, you spend the rest of Christmas Eve watching films and baking cookies.

The next morning, you both wake up early and exchange presents in your festive pyjamas. It’s not the same as if you were in London with both your families, but it’s still perfect because you’re together.

And a year later, when you’ve graduated and you’re celebrating your first Christmas in your new home with a diamond ring on your finger, it’s even better.

i hope you enjoyed this story! and thank you for all your lovely comments on my last fic. if anyone wants to be added to a taglist for my ben fics in the future, please let me know! ❤️💚

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell x y/n #my fics

147 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

Note

AITA for wanting my mother to stop making so much noise in her own house when I’m staying here?

So me (22M) and my mother (62F) have a complicated relationship. She is very very toxic and always has been - she used to induce illness in me and make my pre-existing disorders worse so that she could keep me with her when she separated from my father, she never let me leave the house because she would tell me I would be harmed or something would happen to me if I was away from her, she would control everything I did and what I ate or drank, where I went, etc. The house she and I lived in was an incredibly bad environment for me. It’s not taken care of, it’s dirty and unhygienic, I was constantly ill and having allergies set off, she would try to feed me dirt-covered food I watched her pick up off the floor, the shower didn’t work and she wouldn’t let me go elsewhere to bathe. I kept talking about moving out, especially once I got into a serious relationship with my girlfriend (26F), but it would always devolve into an argument with her telling me I wasn’t going anywhere, that my girlfriend would leave me, that she’s the only person who’ll stick by me, and so on.

All of that is basically background context to counterbalance the (fair) preconceptions of “you’re guests you’re imposing on her you can just leave” etc you’re about to have.

So I finally moved out this year and in with my girlfriend and it was wonderful. However, my mother was blowing up BOTH of our phones 24/7 telling me to come back, and it reached the point she was contacting Other people (family, our friends) to get Them to tell me to move back in with her and asking where I was at all hours of the day, who I was with and what I was doing. I was ignoring her as best I could. Then a couple of weeks ago mine and my girlfriend’s house flooded after our upstairs neighbour burst a pipe in the building and water began fountaining through all our electrical sockets and lights and pouring from the ceiling. We had nowhere else to go except to stay with my mother until the house was repaired and made safe again, especially because so many of our belongings were ruined.

So we’ve been back here since. We’re forced to sleep on the couch together in the living room because in the time I was gone she somehow let bugs infest my old room and her cat pee all over the mattress of the bed.

Now, my girlfriend and I are both very non-confrontational and I’m usually super hard to annoy, but I’m also autistic and highly sensitive to noise. And my mother is. Very noisy. She blasts the TV at full volume all day even when she leaves the room and gets angry if you turn it off even if she’s not watching it, she’s a chainsmoker who’s constantly hack-coughing, she’ll have the radio playing OVER the TV, she shouts out the windows to her neighbours, she keeps all the windows and doors open, she’ll play music at full volume without headphones on, etc. I have noise-cancelling headphones from when I still lived here but she’s often so loud it doesn’t muffle it at all.

Recently it’s reached the point where she’ll wake up during the night, say 2-4am, come through to the room we’re sleeping in where the TV is, and just turn the TV on, turn the radio on, start singing along to music, slam doors, VACUUM. For the past 2 weeks she’s been waking me and my fiancée up every single night, often several times, and we’re at the end of our rope with it.

We can’t afford a hotel and have nowhere else to go, when we try to ask her to keep it down at LEAST during the night she says she can do whatever she wants because it’s her house and says we’re being ungrateful, and when we’ve offered to try to clean up my old room so we can sleep in there she snaps at us not to touch anything of ‘hers’ and gets mad because we’re implying her house isn’t clean, that we don’t want to be near her, that we must be telling everyone her house is shitty, etc.

Yesterday I got into an argument with her because I was having an extremely bad sensory day, my girlfriend said she had a migraine, and my mother responded by turning up the TV. When she saw I was holding onto my headphones and my girlfriend was near tears, she turned it up even louder and smirked at me. The argument basically ended in her screaming at me that if she was so bad we could leave, I impulsively said okay we would, and then she got physically aggressive and barred the doorway and told us I wasn’t going anywhere because she’d make sure of it.

It’s just. Exhausting! GF and I are constantly sleep-deprived, drained, grumpy, tired, and dealing with headaches on top of the stress of trying to financially recoup from the house flood and deal with getting everything fixed, and half of me is mad at my mother for not having even basic respect for us sleeping or our issues when half the time she is not even watching the damn TV or in the same room as it, while the other half of me feels conflicted because it’s her living room and we’re sleeping in the TV room and she’s putting us up when we have nowhere else.

AITA (/are we the assholes) for wanting her to accommodate us despite being guests?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

172 notes · View notes

morganski-19 · 27 days

Text

The One Where Nancy Goes on a Date

Nancy sits in her room, staring at her phone screen. Rereading through the conversations she’s been having with Ryan. The guy she met on a dating app. The one she downloaded when Robin stood her up for girl’s night. A perfectly normal reaction to everything.

And now she’s agreed to go on a date with a guy who seems perfectly fine. They’ve texted back and forth, Ryan being the one to initiate most of them. Stuff like asking how her day was going and commenting on the articles she’s written as they release.

In every other scenario, Nancy would be looking forward to the date. But she can’t get over the guilt in her stomach knowing the real reason why she’s trying to date again.

“I may have made a mistake,” she says when walking into the living room.

Steve and Eddie were in there watching something on the tv. They turn to her with confused faces. They motion for her to continue.

“So, I might have,” she winces. “Downloaded a dating app.”

Steve lets out a sigh. “Not again. I thought you swore them off after last time.”

“I did,” she exclaims. Walking over to the armchair and falling into it. “But I was desperate and sad, so I downloaded it and now I’m going on a date tonight.”

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Eddie says. “What’s so bad about Nancy getting on a dating app?”

Nancy groans. “Every time I download a dating app, my dates end up horrible. It’s always creeps or guys who have the complete opposite views then me. Or we just won’t work. Or they were just looking for sex and weren’t upfront about that.”

“There was the guy who brought his mom,” Steve starts to rattle off. “The guy who dashed before he could pay the bill, the guy who was upset about you being friends with multiple guys, the girl that got mad that you were friends with your exes that were guys, the guy that asked for a threesome the second you said you were bi.”

“Ew,” Eddie says, disgusted. “What is wrong with people?”

“So much,” Nancy sighs. “We haven’t even touched on some of the people Steve has dated.”

“Why are we bringing this back on me? We’re talking about your problem.”

Nancy sits up. “Right, sorry.” She unlocks her phone and pulls up Ryan’s profile. “Here’s the guy I’m going on a date with.”

Steve takes the phone, looking at it carefully. “He doesn’t look half bad.”

Eddie leans over to see. “No, he looks ok. Pictures of him and his dog, his friends, his family. Looks like a normal guy.”

“He seems like a normal guy, at least from his texts. Nothing really stood out that made me want to cancel it.”

“So, you want to go on the date?” Steve questions slowly.

Nancy shrugs. “I don’t really have a reason not to. I looked him up, we agree on a lot of things and his socials are pretty normal. From what I can tell, we might actually get along.”

“But,” Eddie leans his elbows on his knees. “You’re not feeling it.”

“It’s not that I’m not feeling it,” she stands up. Beginning to pace. “It’s just, not what I was looking for, exactly. But what I am looking for, is unavailable. And I need to get over it.”

Steve is doing nothing to hide the judgement on his face. “And you think jumping back into the dating world is going to fix everything?”

“I never said it was a good idea!”

Jonathan and Argyle choose this exact moment to walk through the door.

“What’s not a good idea?” Jonathan asks.

“Nancy’s going on a date tonight in hopes to finally get over Robin,” Eddie fills in. Steve hits him with the back of his hand. “Like they don’t already know.”

Nancy walks over and hands them her phone. “This is him.”

Argyle pulls out his phone and immediately starts to type. He goes to sit in the armchair, continuing to scroll on his phone.

“I mean, he looks normal,” Jonathan says while scrolling through his profile and their messages. “Nothing really stands out as bad from the messages.”

“That’s my problem. I can’t find a reason to cancel the date. From his profile, I should give this a chance.”

Eddie goes to the kitchen to grab something from the fridge. “But should and want are two very different things. You don’t need a reason to cancel a date if you’re not feeling it.”

Steve goes to stand behind Argyle, watching whatever he’s doing. “Jesus, how many tabs do you have open right now?”

“Enough to make me want a laptop.”

Nancy crosses her arms, leaning against the counter. “Maybe I am feeling it, a little bit. I don’t know. I’m just confused.”

“Well, are you attracted to him?” Eddie questions.

“Yeah.” Nancy bites at her lip nervously.

“And do you feel a connection enough to want to seek it out in person?”

Nancy shrugs. “I guess.”

“And have you made him send a very specific picture so you’re sure he’s not catfishing you,” Steve asks from the living room. “Like where he’s wearing a specific color shirt and holding something weird.

“Yeah, and he was really willing to do that too.”

“Then, I would say, don’t go on the date if you think you’re just going to lead him on,” Jonathan reasons, “If this is solely about getting over Robin, don’t go. But, if you think you might actually like this guy, then it doesn’t hurt to go.”

“I can’t find anything bad about this guy,” Argyle announces from the armchair. “Nothing weird on his socials, even his reddit is tame. He has good reviews about his job, and high praises from his employees. Doesn’t look like a weirdo or creep.”

“I know,” Nancy grips at the roots of her hair. “I talked to the person who does food columns at my job because they interviewed him when the place opened. He was kind and respectful, really passionate about his job. But I can’t help but feel guilty about wanting to go on this date.”

She stops, the words registering in her brain. The room quiets, all looking toward Nancy. Waiting for her to say something.

“I,” she stammers. “I want to go on this date.”

Jonathan puts a hand on her shoulder. “Then go. There’s no need to feel guilty about doing something you want to do.”

“Yeah, what he said.” Steve walks over from the living room. “Don’t get upset about how Robin is going to feel, that’s her own fault. If you genuinely want to give this guy a chance, do it. One date won’t hurt anything.”

“And you know you have us to come and scare the guy off if things turn bad,” Eddie adds.

Nancy sighs. Nodding slowly. “Ok, I’m going to go. I’m not going to cancel it.”

She goes to her room to get ready. Finding an outfit that’s nice but not overly formal. True to herself and one she feels confident in. They give her approval and promises to come pick her up if anything goes sour. Also, with the threat that they’ll go to the same restaurant to spy on them.

But she gets the notification that her uber is on the way and goes to leave. Not before turning around and getting a room full of thumbs ups and encouragements.

And the date goes surprisingly well. They get along great and both of them find conversation points after the previous one ended. No one talked more than the other and they shared anecdotes and things about themselves as if they were close friends. At the end of the night, there was no pressure for anything else. Ryan happy to go separate ways if that was what Nancy wanted.

She didn’t, and was the one to ask him on a second date. He agreed.

When Nancy gets back to her apartment, with a smile on her face, she can’t even get her keys out of her purse before the door behind her opens.

“Woah, you look nice,” Robin compliments. “Go somewhere special tonight?”

Nancy turns, feeling a blush start to form. But not because she feels caught, but because the smile on her face is so telling, it’s a little embarrassing. “I was on a date, actually.”

Robin takes a second to try and find her words. “A date. Wow, you haven’t gone on one of those in a while.”

“I know,” Nancy laughs.

“How’d it go?” There’s an expression on Robin’s face that Nancy can’t read. But right now, she doesn’t care.

“Really good, actually. I’m seeing him again next week.”

Robin looks caught off guard. But whatever she’s feeling melts off her face. A bright smile forming in support of her friend. “That’s good to hear. I’ll have to meet him sometime, give him my stamp of approval.”

Nancy laughs. “Same goes for the girl you’re seeing. I feel like I’m the only one who hasn’t met her yet.”

“Uh, yeah. Maybe I’ll bring her around the coffee house sometime, you can meet her there.”

“Same with my guy, once we make it past the second date mark. Can’t have him being scared off by the collective interrogation.”

Robin lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good. But uh,” she gestures to the bag of trash that’s at her side. “I’m going to go take this out. I’m glad your date went well. Have a good night.”

“You too,” Nancy says before slipping back into her apartment.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,

@thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady,

@apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic,

@fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging,

@potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @gregre369

@my2amgaythoughts, @ellietheasexylibrarian, @emmabubbles, @eriquin, @grtwdsmwhr

@croatoan-like-its-hot, @dreamercec

#morgan's friends au #don't be too mad at me #i swear it will get better #but it will get worse before that #oops #stranger things #stranger things au #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #eddie munson #jonathan byers #argyle stranger things #robin buckley #pre ronance #it still will be happening #but not all the couples can get together that easily #no upside down au #modern au #alternate universe

50 notes · View notes

valexformula1 · 1 year

Text

Electricity - DR3

Request: No

Summary: Reader and Daniel being fools for each other but not confessing after Daniel heard Lewis is gonna ask reader out

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x best friend!reader

Word Count: 1323

Warnings: little sad and fluff, house moving, Daniel and reader being a pair of fools for ice cream, cursing

Author’s Note: Inspired by the song electricity of Silk City, Dua Lipa. Don’t be a ghost reader, it took me a while to write in it.

1996

At your 7 years you got to move from your country because your father got a job offer at Perth, Australia, you got to admin it was scary at first, moving from Peru to Australia was not easy especially when it was a different idiom, people, school, basically everything. Your mother died when you were 4, so it has been you and your dad only until you meet him.

Your dad was a mechanic engineer, and he was working at the Australia track when you meet him.

It was a very hotness Wednesday when you were looking around for your dad since you got lost looking the other cars when suddenly him bumped you, a pretty boy with big brown eyes and a cheeky smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t see where I was going”

“Sorry too, are you okey? ” he said cheking on you to see if you were fine

“Yep, I’m y/n by the way”

“I’m Daniel, nice to meet you” he said shaking hands with you “Come on, let’s go for some ice cream”

Before you could answer he was already running and holding your hand, so you could follow him.

Since that you and him start to hang more and more becoming best friends, you attending to his races and him been for you in every broken heart.

2011

When I'm with you

Ooh, baby

Giving up my ghost for you

“Gosh Daniel, I’m so proud of you debuting for F1” you said

“What you think about the race?” he replied

“That someone is getting an F1 seat soon”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely, you’ll see”

“Thanks, changing theme” he said looking behind you “where is Michael?”

“He isn’t coming, actually he isn’t coming anymore we split out, think it wasn’t meant to be”

“What? Why? You okey?”

“Yep, we just wanted different things” you said trying to recover the reality “come on let’s go for some ice cream” you said grabbing his hand.

The truth was that Micheal want to call it quits since he saw how much time you spend with Daniel and you attending to the race and cancelling your date 3 days before was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He told you that it was clear you and Daniel were in love, so he broke up with you, you didn’t agree with him saying that you got a thing for Daniel when it wasn’t he was your best friend that was all.

2021

All I see is you, lately

Wide awake and in my dreams

I see your face so vividly

I don't know what I'd do

Ooh, baby

If you only saw a friend in me

I'd be bittersweet

That casual kiss on my cheek would have meant nothing up until recently, every time that you saw, hug or touch Daniel there was a feeling, a feeling in your stomach.

This started to happen since that GP 2 years ago when he wins, you watch him get off the stage to hug you and since then you could stop thinking about him.

Now you weren’t dumb you knew what it meant, but it didn’t matter, today you decided to give it a shot and tell him after the race.

“Hey Dan, congrats on p4” you said after entering on his driver's room

“Thanks y/n” okey it was now or never

“So, I want to tell you something” said both of you

“Go ahead” he said

“No, you” you said thinking he would say what you think it was, was it that he felt the same? He also likes you ?

“Well, I meet this pretty girl yesterday and I ask her to go on a date tomorrow” he said smiling

After that you learn that online date apps were not that bad at all.

2022

I know you've been treating, treating yourself wrong

So let me care for you

Ooh, baby

I'ma love you differently

I'll give you electricity

“Hey, you wanna grab some ice cream?” you said to him after he opens the door of the hotel

Everybody knew Daniel wasn’t having the time of his life this season with Mclaren treating him like shit.

“Thank but not in the mood” he says a little sad

“What’s wrong?” you could feel something was not fine

“Imleavingmclaren” he whispered

“What?” you replied confused

“I’m leaving Mclaren y/n” he said more loud this time with tears in his eyes

This past few weeks Daniel was the center of attention on the paddock but not for a good reason, everyone wanted to know where he was going to go or do after the news. Daniel started to push everyone, fake smiling all the time, there wasn’t that smile that you saw years ago anymore, he started to lose weight and cancelled to your friend dates.

“Daniel, talk to me” you beg, this week you found out Daniel wasn’t eating

“I am fine”

“No you’re not, you being skipping foods”

“Just wasn’t hungry, that’s all”

“What about our Wednesdays of ice cream that you seem to skip now” you replied a little angry now

“Busy”

“Daniel Joseph Ricciardo stop it, I know you since we were 7, and I know you are not fine, and it’s okey not being fine sometimes” you said now hugging him

“It’s just too much for me right now, I feel like my life doesn’t matter anymore, I feel lost” he cried

“You’re going to be fine, let me care for you ”

2023

I feel electric, baby

So electric, baby

Wanna let you know, let you know

I think I'm ready, baby

I think I'm ready, now

It was the Australia GP and you decided to go see it with Daniel, that night at the hotel he started to feel better, it has been a tough way, but now he was the third driver of Red Bull Racing, and he had enough time for Wednesdays of Ice cream.

“Hey Seb, how retiring treating you?”

“Very good, where is your lovebird?”

“Not my lovebird”

“Come on y/n, you two are bound to one another, you always have been, and I know he feels the same”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think he feels the same way” you replied

“Who? Daniel?” said Hanna joining the conversation “he is a fool for you”

“Yep but y/n says he is not” Seb said telling his wife the context

“I even thought you were dating, there is no way he doesn’t” she said

“Yeah, well he doesn’t” you said

Max has won the Australia GP, and you’re at the hotel getting ready for the party when you heard a knock.

“Hi Dan” you said opening the door

“So I heard Lewis want to ask you out” he says while entering to the room.

What? Lewis? I mean he was cute, well hot, but you were more into a certain Australian “Really? Who you kn..” you couldn’t finish because you feel his lips against you.

“Before you said anything I just want you to know I’ve always liked you, from the first moment I saw you at that Wednesday when we went to eat ice cream, and you order vanilla, and ever since that day I have hidden my feelings because I didn’t want to lose you, but now I heard Lewis want to ask you out, so I have to risk now because I know him, and I know that if you say yes to that date I will lose you forever so here I’m telling you everything and hoping you feel the same way y/n” he lower his head as he finishes saying that, not wanting to look your reaction but instead of a push he feels your lips again.

“That means you like me too?”

“Of course you fool”

He started to smile, grab your hand and run while yelled “Come on, let’s grab some ice cream to commemorate this moment”

#daniel ricciardo imagine #danny ric #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x you #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine

304 notes · View notes

artiststarme · 1 year

Text

Win Some, Lose Some

Based on a prompt from @mysticcrownshipper. Thank you and I hope it meets your expectations! Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

~*~*~*~

Steve was pretty sure he was unlovable. It was the only reason that made sense as to why everyone always treated him like this. What about him made people feel the need to put him down in every conversation or ignore him completely? Neglect wasn’t a new feeling to Steve. No, he was all too used to being uncared for and left alone. He had been since his parents started leaving him for weeks at a time to go on business trips and vacations when he was nine. Neglect wasn’t new to him nor was the underappreciation and ignorance that was constantly present in the Party. Every person he talked to made him feel like an inconvenience and he was sick of it.

Robin was supposed to be his best friend, his platonic soulmate with a capital P, his ride or die. So why was she belittling him and downplaying his feelings every chance she could? Any time Steve wanted to vent about Eddie or talk about his feelings, she would shut it down. She’d tell him that Eddie was just new to relationships and that his feelings were misplaced. She made him feel the worst out of everyone in the Party because she was the one he expected to be on his side the most. Steve ignored it mostly because what else could he do? Call her on it and risk losing her completely? No, it was best to push down his ‘misplaced feelings’ and pretend to laugh when she put him down. It’s not like he didn’t have the practice.

The kids were just as awful as they always were, completely taking him for granted. They expected Steve to give up everything without giving anything back. He has a date with Eddie that night? They want him to drop it and give them a ride to the pool. He has a headache and doesn’t feel like doing anything? Who cares, they need him to watch their DnD campaign. Oh, he doesn’t have enough money for groceries that week? He has to have enough to give them some for the arcade though, right?

Eddie certainly wasn’t helping either. He was constantly neglecting their relationship and placing it as his lowest priority. Steve would go out of his way to make plans with him only for him to cancel last minute or neglect to show at all. He’d go without calling Steve for days, blow him off when he did something nice for him, and poke fun at Steve’s expense to make the others laugh. It was to the point where it wasn’t making just Steve uncomfortable but the Corroded Coffin boys as well.

He thought he was hiding his hurt feelings pretty well but when Eddie said a comment that hit a little too close to home for him, Steve ducked out of his own dining room to smoke a cigarette he definitely didn’t need. When he heard his sliding door inch open, he hoped that it would be Eddie coming to apologize but it turned out to be a worried Jeff instead.

“Hey man, you alright?” He asked him, his eyes glimmering in concern.

“Yeah, man,” Steve nodded before taking a long drag. “It’s fine, he does that all the time. It’s cool.”

Jeff didn’t look convinced and narrowed his eyes at the half-burnt cigarette. “It’s not cool at all. Why are you smoking, I thought you quit?”

Steve sighed, “yeah well, I couldn’t kick it completely. It makes a good excuse for when I need a break. Plus, Wayne is a really bad role model and keeps buying an extra pack for me when he gets his. I don’t have the heart to tell him I’m thinking of quitting, he’d be crushed.”

“I get it.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of them when Jeff spoke again. “Hey, you want to hang out at band practice with the guys and I on Monday? Eddie won’t be there but you could just hang with us.”

“You want to hang out with me without Eddie? You guys don’t even like me.” Steve told him deadpan.

“What? Yes we do! We think you’re cool and if you ever want to swing by, we’d love to have you. We need an unbiased judge for our music.”

Steve hummed, “okay, what time on Monday?”

“Um, I think eleven. AM, not PM. Just come and hang out with us in Gareth’s garage. His mom is making tuna salad for us,” Jeff added.

“Well how could I ever resist tuna salad?” Steve laughed, it felt like a long time since he’s done that.

Jeff pointed at him, “that’s what I’m saying! And ditch the cigarettes, you won’t need a break with us. We won’t treat you like that.”

Steve nodded as Jeff went back inside. It was nice to be invited somewhere without an ulterior motive. Steve found himself looking forward to Monday so he could just relax without having to fake a part. He was excited and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt that way.

~*~*~*~

Word must have spread after that because suddenly, everyone outside of the main Party members wanted to hang out. The Corroded Coffin boys were teaching him how to play guitar and making him sing choruses alongside Jeff. Nancy was inviting Steve over for girl’s night to talk shit about Eddie and Robin. Murray was luring Steve to his bunker with promises of authentic Russian vodka and “sticking it to the man”, Steve didn’t accept that offer but he did appreciate it. Even Hopper and Joyce were inviting him out for milkshakes and basketball practice.

Steve was having the most fun though with Phil and his new boyfriend Dio. Dio was a goth, twenty something with a sarcastic personality and a stupid sense of humor that complemented Phil’s. Just looking at him, Steve could tell that he and Phil shared a type (a fact often laughed at by Dio). It seemed they both went for alternative guys with shitty tastes in music. When Phil had first introduced the two, they had both been wary of one another; Steve because the guy looked like the type to stab his enemies and Dio because this preppy jock could out him and ruin his life. They soon found common ground however over their love of horror movies and Queen music. Now, Steve saw Dio as another older brother of sorts and couldn’t picture Phil with anyone else.

They invited him over biweekly for dinner and movie nights with horror films that left Steve itching with anxiety. But he was finally having fun. With all of the unexpected invites, he didn’t have any time to spend with the Party. Soon, he found out that that was intentional.

He made a comment to Phil and Dio at one of their dinners that he hadn’t seen any of the Party in a while and that it almost seemed like he was avoiding them to hang out with other people. They both just looked at him blankly and Phil told him deadpan, “Well, duh. We made a plan to keep them away from you, we’re not going to make it easy on them. Now eat your green beans before they go cold.”

Steve just blinked at him. “What do you mean you made a plan? I’m confused.”

Dio gave Phil the side-eye and smiled a strained smile at Steve. “Alright look, we heard from your band friend that your other friends were being dumbasses and decided that they needed a time out. But you didn’t deserve to suffer so we made plans with you to keep you busy and to keep them away. Got it?”

No, Steve did not ‘get it’.

“Why would you do that? That’s just how they are.”

Phil whipped his head up and almost knocked over his glass of chocolate milk in his haste to point a finger at Steve. “Excuse me?! They’ve been this way the whole time? Then why the hell are you friends with them?”

Steve blinked. “Because they want to be friends with me. It’s not like many people want to.”

Both Phil and Dio stared at him in sadness. They clearly didn’t see that coming. They looked at each other, back at Steve, then back at each other before Dio spoke.

“We have to step it up then and really make them suffer. Here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to make them jealous. If they haven’t realized that we’re trying to steal you already, they will soon enough. I’ll make the calls and we can really escalate things.”

“What the hell, um no. Let’s not do that? I just- what?” Steve stammered.

“No, just trust me. We can make them really jealous with this plan. I’ve done it before, I’m a pro at getting revenge,” Dio smirked at him.

Steve just stared at him and Phil nodded in agreement.

“That’s true,” he said through a mouthful of green beans. “He’s gay and vengeful, that’s the worst kind. But remember, I’m an officer of the law so you have to keep it legal this time.”

“This time?!”

~*~*~*~

Dio wasn’t kidding about his revenge plan. He started coming around to Family Video on his lunch breaks in an attempt to confuse Eddie. He had the Corroded Coffin boys inviting Steve over almost daily and even Uncle Wayne taking him out for coffee and donuts. It was all Steve had ever wanted and deep down, he was a little sad that it had to be an act.

Three weeks in though, the Party started to notice and it was all worth it. The kids came in to glare at the random goth weirdo that was monopolizing his time at work and complained to each other that their calls to the Harrington house were going unanswered.

Robin was stuck working with Keith when Steve switched his shifts and her attempts to brag about Vickie went unanswered on the walkie. She couldn’t help but wonder where her best friend had gone or what had caused his absence.

Eddie kept seeing Steve leave Gareth’s garage right as he got there and whenever he asked the guys, he got a disinterested, “yeah, we’re teaching him how to play the guitar. He was just stopping by.”

He reached a breaking point when he walked into Family Video to see a goth standing shoulder to shoulder with Steve in the horror section. Steve was smiling and nodding along to whatever the guy was saying and Eddie had had enough.

“Hey! Who are you? Why are you standing so close to him huh? He’s taken!”

Steve just looked at him unimpressed. “Oh, are we still dating? I wasn’t sure considering you haven’t talked to me in three weeks.”

“What, three weeks? It hasn’t been that long. Even still, you’re going to go after a goth? What the fuck, Steve?” Eddie shook his head at him like Steve was in the wrong.

“This is my brother’s boyfriend, Dio. We’re trying to pick out a movie that’s going to scare Phil. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Oh, um. Can we talk?” Eddie murmured, chagrined.

“No, I don’t think we should. There’s literally nothing you could say to make me forgive any of you. You, Robin, and the kids have ignored me for weeks and I didn’t even do anything wrong. And now you’re jealous because I’m talking to a guy that’s not you? No.”

Eddie’s face dropped. “Are you, are you breaking up with me?”

Steve’s mouth twisted, this hadn’t been part of the original plan but it did feel right. “Yeah, I am.”

“Um, okay. I’m gonna, I'm gonna go,” Eddie whispered before darting out of the store.

Steve sadly watched him leave as Dio just looked between him and the door. “Well goddamn, you broke up with him? The whole plan was for everyone to make him jealous so he treated you better. I didn’t know that you wanted to dump him.”

“I didn’t either. But these past few weeks have taught me that the Party really aren’t great friends to have. And Eddie isn’t really a good boyfriend. I don’t want to go back to how it was,” Steve murmured. His chest felt heavy with loss and he could feel a tension headache creeping in.

“Hey, look at me,” Dio met his eyes and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You have to do what’s right for you and if that means cutting ties with toxic people, that’s what you have to do. There’s no shame in that.”

Steve nodded at him and broke away from his hold to get back to work. It was going to take some adjusting to losing the Party but it was the best thing for now. He’d been put down and mistreated too much by them to let them so easily off the hook once again. It was about time he put himself first, even if it meant losing the friends he’d thought he’d never lose.

My Permanent Tag List: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @straight4joekeery @carlyv @pyrohonk @ksherlock15 @conversesweetheart @estrellami-1 @suddenlyinlove @yikes-a-bee @swimmingbirdrunningrock @perseus-notjackson @anaibis @merricatty @maya-custodios-dionach @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @lumoschildextra @goodolefashionedloverboi @mentallyundone @awkwardgravity1 @anzelsilver @jestyzesty @gregre369 @mysticcrownshipper @disasterlia @lillys-weird-world @messrs-weasley @gay-stranger-things @pnk-lemonades @coolestjoy30 @awkotaco24

@strangerthingfanfic @dangdirtydemons @bookworm0690 @hannahhook7744 @dreamlandforever @marsbars97 @precursorandthedragon @romanticdestruction @5ammi90 @death-thee-nervousqueer @panicatthediaz @justforthedead89 @futuristicnachostranger

#Steve gets back together with Eddie after a few months because sharing Uncle Wayne like a divorced couple is too difficult #he forgives the Party eventually but things will never go back to how they were #Nancy takes Robin's spot as Steve's best friend and she never finds another platonic soulmate #hopefully this doesn't seem too rushed #stranger things #steddie #ish #steve harrington #eddie munson #fanfic #robin buckley #dustin henderson #phil callahan #Phil Callahan is Steve's brother

385 notes · View notes

vodika-vibes · 8 months

Note

Vodika, my beloved, I'm so sorry I didn't drop this in when you first opened your event, but yesterday was probably the craziest day I have had at work in a long time, then I had obligations in the evening, and I didn't get home until 11pm which was already way past my bedtime 😂

I digress... I am here now to congratulate you on your 400 followers!!! They're all so well-deserved. I get a little teary-eyed just thinking about when you first started out 🥹 Then you wrote that Alpha-17 fic request, and you sky-rocketed into the atmosphere! I'm so proud of you, darling 💚💚💚

Without further ado, my request goes a little something like this... For my bouquet, may I have Purple Lilacs and Calla Lillies wrapped in a beautiful pink ribbon? And for my pairing, perhaps a Five x Fem!Reader where Fives has fallen head over heels for the reader and wants to impress her?

I'm thinking sweet, soft, and romantic vibes, with just a hint of nerves, a dash of overthinking, and a pinch of embarrassment.

I'm so excited and can't wait to see what you come up with!!! I know it will be wonderful and amazing, just like you 😘

Please and thank you, with love,

@the-bad-batch-baroness

It Could Be Love

Summary: You are going on your first date with Fives

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x F!Reader

Word Count: 1035

Warnings: Fluff. Like cotton candy levels of fluff

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

Prompts: Calla Lilies - Beauty and Magnificence; Purple Lilacs - first love

A/N: 🥺BAABE! You say that nicest things to me! I'm so glad that you sent a request! That you always send requests! Especially since I started writing fics in the first place because of how kind you were to me at that beginning! ❤️❤️❤️I hope you enjoy your Fives fluff!

Nervously you card your fingers through your hair as you watch yourself in the mirror. You twist this way and that, looking for any flaws and imperfections with your outfit, before you exhale and smooth your skirt.

You have a date.

No. To be more specific. You have a date with the most attractive man you’ve ever met in your life, and you’re incredibly anxious about it.

Fives is handsome and confident, with a natural charisma that is insanely attractive, and you still can’t really believe that he asked you, of all people, out.

What if you say the wrong thing? What if Fives doesn’t like your outfit? What if your reservation is canceled? What if he’s not that interested-?

No. No, you’re borrowing trouble.

If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have asked you out.

You’re just overthinking everything.

You take a deep steadying breath, and look over your outfit one more time. A white sundress with a pink sash, and a matching pink ribbon braided through your hair and matching pink sandals.

It’s a cute ensemble, casual enough that you’re comfortable in it, but class enough that you can get away with wearing it at all but the most high end restaurants.

You glance at your chrono, and your stomach flips with anxious excitement.

Fives should be here shortly.

You slip out of your bedroom, and head to the front door to slide your sandals on, just as the doorbell rings.

You take a moment, just a moment, to take a deep breath to settle your nerves, and then you hit the button next to the door. And then you favor the man on the other side of the door with a bright smile, “Fives! You’re early.”

He is, by about fifteen minutes. But you don’t mind, the more time you spend with him the happier you’ll be, after all.

He laughs, and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, sorry. I’ve actually been waiting outside for about thirty minutes.” Fives admits. “I’m a little…eager.��

You move to the side and silently invite him in, “You didn’t have to wait outside, Fives. I would have been more than happy to let you wait inside.” You say warmly, “But it is nice to know that I’m not the only one eager.”

He flashes a grin at you, and you feel your heart skip a beat. It really isn’t fair how handsome he is.

“You look beautiful, Mesh’la.” Fives says then, lifting his hand to lightly brush his fingers against the pale pink ribbon in your hair, “I feel underdressed now.”

Your face heats at his compliment, “Thank you. I bought the whole outfit specifically for this date. Is it too much, do you think?”

“No. No, it’s perfect.” He says immediately, and then a sly grin crosses his face, “You bought a whole outfit, just to show off for me?”

“When you say it like that it sounds weird,” You say sheepishly.

“I’m flattered. You didn’t have to. You would have been just as stunning in jeans and a tee shirt…or a burlap sack.” Fives says cheerfully, “I would have looked underdressed either way.”

“I think you look very nice,” You say with a shake of your head. And he does. Somehow he managed to get his hands on a set of civilian clothes, and is wearing a nice dark blue button down shirt, and black slacks. He looks amazing, actually.

“Thanks. They were a gift. From Senator Amidala and General Skywalker.”

You shoot him an odd look, “I wasn’t aware you were so close to Senator Amidala.” You finish sliding your sandals on, and then smile up at him.

“Yeah, I didn’t either. But apparently my brothers have loud mouths, and she found out about this date from General Skywalker.” He pushes his fingers through his curls, “Imagine my surprise when I got woken up this morning because Senator Amidala and her Handmaidens were giving me a makeover.”

You giggle, “Well, you look amazing.”

“I now have more clothes than I know what to do with.” Fives says with a sigh, though there’s an amused glimmer in his eyes, “At least I’ll be able to stand next to you without embarrassing you.”

“I would never,” You reply, “You’re…” You falter as you try to think of the right word, “Magnificent.”

A startled laugh falls from his lips, “Is that right?”

Your face heats again, “That’s a weird compliment, isn’t it?”

He grins at you and offers you his hand, “No, beautiful. A little surprising, maybe, but I’m glad you think so highly of me.”

You take his hand and Fives grins at you as he gently twirls you, “Beautiful.”

“Me or the dress?”

“You, of course. The dress only enhances what’s already there.” Fives spins you again, “You know, we still have a bit of time before our reservation-”

“I know, I tried to get an earlier one-”

He shushes you with a press of his finger against your lips, “I’m not complaining, beautiful.” Fives reassures you with a gentle smile, “I’m wondering if you might be interested in dancing with me?”

You stare at him, startled, and then you duck your head, “I’d really like that.” You whisper shyly, before you glance up at his face.

Fives’ smile is soft, and he’s looking at you like he’s never seen anyone quite like you before. Slowly you reach up and slide your fingers against his cheek and his eyes slide shut.

“Fives?” You whisper.

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper in your quiet apartment.

“I’d like that a lot,” He replies, his voice just as soft.

You push up to stand on your toes, and he ducks his head just a little bit, and your lips ghost against his.

It’s a soft kiss. Shy and gentle, almost.

It ends as quickly as it begins, but Fives keeps his lips hovering just over yours. “You know,” He murmurs, “I could love you, if you let me.”

You smile at him, soft and loving, “Funny,” You whisper, “I was thinking the same exact thing.”

And then his lips are against yours again as he walks you deeper into your apartment.

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes follower event #arc trooper fives x reader #fives x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #F!reader fic #answered asks

63 notes · View notes

cloudlessly-light · 3 months

Note

I’m likely on Twitter way too much but I’ve been inspired by the “railed in a sundress” tweets to try and inspire you. So, request for a hotchniss “railed in a sundress” fic? Ily

Title: Love like mine (4/11) Chapter title: I'll make you scream and I'll make you want it Summary: He wasn’t a cheater. Until her. Word count: 3,5k Rating: Explicit Warnings (for this chapter): Smut, dirty talk, anal play, cheating, a tiny hint of feelings, a tiny bit of angst

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

They stand in silence as the elevator makes its way up to their floor, side by side. His fingers are grazing hers, a gentle touch, something small and she forces a smile away.

“Had a good weekend?” She keeps looking straight ahead, watches as people get off and on the elevator.

“Yes, thank you.” He uses the fact that it gets more crowded to his advantage as she moves a little closer to him. “What about you?”

“It was fine.” When his hand grabs her ass she bites her bottom lip, can see the amusement he’s clearly trying to hide in her peripheral.

“Good.” The ding of the elevator forces them to part as they make their way out and walk towards the glass doors. “Can I see you in my office after the morning briefing?”

“Of course, sir.”

The glint in his eye caused her to smirk knowingly.

They’re in Montana, the case brutal, videos and torture devices in the unsubs house making her feel nauseous. She usually wasn’t fazed, but this case took a toll on all of them and she wanted to forget, just for an hour, about the horror they had witnessed. They never spent the night together on cases, but she needed something to get rid of the disgust she felt, needed to feel something other than rage.

“Can you come to my room tonight?” She asks quietly after finding him alone in the police station. He gives her a questioning look as he sorts through papers.

“I thought we had an agreement.” He can see the tension in her shoulders, hates the world for a moment because the women all looked like her.

“I know. I just… never mind.” She shakes her head quickly and chuckles dryly. “Forget it.”

He’s knocking on her door that same night and she opens wearing loose shorts and a tank, less put together than she normally shows herself, but he finds that he likes it.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” She lets him in and leans back against the door as he gets his tie and suit jacket off.

“I couldn’t stay away.”

Neither of them talk about the fact that they don’t have sex that night.

The tension is thick in the car, another argument, another day with clipped words and icy tones. Fights had almost become normal in their home. They didn’t used to be like this, but if Aaron was completely honest they had ignored their problems for a long time. It started before she got pregnant with Jack, her irritation at his work hours and unpredictable schedule something that he knew he could easily fix but wouldn’t. He thinks that’s what has hurt her the most, the fact that he wouldn’t change his job for her, not even after they had a child.

It's the fourth of July, it’s unbearably hot and for once they aren’t working. It was Penelope’s idea to have a celebration, Derek’s idea to have a barbeque in the backyard of one of the houses he’s just finished renovating. And Haley is angry with him. He had gotten home late, tired from another long day, coming home to a wife that wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. It shouldn’t have made him mad, he knows he should be more appreciative of everything she does for him, for their child.

And yet he can’t help the way annoyance itches on his skin as she complains that he missed another milestone in Jack’s life, doesn’t seem to be able to stop the words that come out harsher than he means to. And now they’re at a standstill, too late to cancel going to Derek’s but nowhere near having solved the ongoing fight.

Emily would be there, that realization hitting him just as he walked through the front door the night before. Emily would be there, would be sharing a space with his wife for the first time since the bar, that night seeming like a lifetime ago when she had him pressed against a wall, confidence and alcohol on her tongue as she asked if he was happy with Haley.

He was. He was happy, for the most part he thinks. But that was a part of marriage, you went through ups and downs. Aaron wonders what down causes him to cheat on his wife, knows that there’s no answer good enough.

And now he was going to watch as his wife interacted with his mistress.

“Honey?” He says softly as he parks the car, dares to put his hand on her thigh and when she doesn’t move he takes that as a good sign. “I’ll try more. I promise.”

She smiles at him, a sad smile that he knows she thinks is reassuring but is anything but.

“You know you can’t promise that. Not as long as you’re working within the BAU.” Still, she rests her hand on top off his. “We can talk more tonight, I just want us to enjoy today.” She reaches over the center console and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Okay.” He agrees and they both get out of the car. He gets Jack out of the car seat, the toddler happily babbling as they walk around the house to the front yard where everyone had already arrived.

“Hotch!” Derek greets him happily as he stands by the grill with Penelope beside him. “Finally, we thought you weren’t going to make it.” He hugs Haley and Penelope does the same.

“We had a cranky toddler.” Haley lies and it works, the attention quickly switching from them to Jack. “Sorry we’re late.”

“It’s alright, anything for my main man Jack.” Derek takes him from Aaron and puts him on his shoulders and Jack laughs.

“Please be careful.” Penelope warns, eyes wide as she watches them and Derek chuckles at the worried tone of his friend, Haley joining him.

“It’s fine Penelope, he loves it.” She smiles and Aaron nods along just as JJ and Spencer walks towards them, greeting them with smiles and hugs and then Dave walks out from the house carrying a bowl filled with salad.

He’s about to make his way toward the older man and then he sees her.

Emily is behind Dave, carrying two bottles of wine and dressed in a white dress, thin straps and knee length, small blue flowers on the fabric. He’s seen her naked, seen her in lingerie and yet, he’s close to stunned as he lets his eyes move over her slowly. She notices, but covers just as quickly when she sees Haley behind him.

She had known Haley would be there, had forced any feeling of unease away and yet her stomach twisted nervously for a moment when she saw them. But she forced a smile as her eyes met the other woman’s.

“Haley, it’s nice to see you again.” She greets them as Haley comes to stand beside Aaron while she puts the wine bottles down.

“Nice to see you too.” Haley’s smile seems stiff, the ease of how she had spoken to Emily the last time they saw each other gone and she wonders if maybe Haley knows more than she lets on. “That’s such a cute dress.” She continues and Emily smiles.

“Thank you.” She can tell Aaron isn’t used to seeing her this way, isn’t used to her simply being Emily and not Prentiss or the thrill hidden inside the walls of her apartment. His eyes seemed glued to her and everything in her wants to tell him to stop, because that’s the look that gets her naked, the look that makes her undress in his office as he presses a gun to her skin. “I just got this actually.” She continues just as Jack starts to whine, thankfully catching Haley’s attention.

“Excuse me.” She turns to walk towards the rest of the group and Emily gives Aaron a warning look.

“Stop it.” She mutters as she opens the first wine bottle and then pours herself a glass before continuing to pour wine into the rest of the glasses.

“Stop what?” He asks quietly and grabs the other bottle to open.

“Stop staring at me like that.”

He doesn’t get the chance to reply, JJ and Penelope coming over to grab their own glasses and quickly whisking her away with conversations about Penelope’s latest date.

All things considered, it goes better than she had thought. Haley seems to loosen up and Aaron is keeping a safe distance from her. It’s a beautiful day and they get to relax in each other’s company, something they hadn’t done in months. It’s a good day and yet she can’t keep herself from lusting after him. She doesn’t do anything about it, his child and wife are there, they’re surrounded by their friends and coworkers, and yet, she wants him.

And he wants her too. He might be staying away, but his eyes seem to linger on her, dark eyes following her movements and she knows that they’re walking a thin line.

He finds her alone in the kitchen as she rinses off plates, Spencer having left her just moments before to collect some of the trash.

“I told you to stop.” She doesn’t turn to look at him, doesn’t need to when she feels his presence behind her, not close enough to touch, but close enough for the hairs at the back of her neck to rise.

“You look beautiful.” He whispers and after making sure no one is around he takes a step closer, close enough to smell her perfume as he lets one finger drag slowly up her arm, and when she shivers he smiles.

“Please don’t.” She almost drops the plate in her hand, stops to lean against the counter to try to keep some resemblance of control.

“Why?” He husks, somehow unable to keep away from her even now.

“Your wife is outside. With your child. And if you don’t-” She starts but then he pushes up fully behind her and she feels him, strong chest and warm hands, the bulge of him in his jeans.

“If I don’t what?” He knows that he needs to walk away, that this was beyond reckless. It was stupid. But then she made a low sound, a mewl, a sound he recognized as desperation and he couldn’t seem to stop.

“We can’t… not here.”

The sound of footsteps forces him to step away, Penelope’s heels loud against the hardwood floors.

“Do you guys need any help in here?” She asks, all smiles and bright eyes.

“No just finishing up, we’ll be out in a minute.” Aaron tells her and she walks back outside, gone as quickly as she came. For a moment he’s happy that she wasn’t a profiler, that she didn’t think about things the way the rest of them did. When he turns to look at Emily her pupils are dilated, her tongue sneaking out to wet her bottom lip and he knows that what he’s about to do is madness, but in that moment he does not care about the repercussions. “Meet me upstairs in fifteen minutes.”

She looks at him for a moment, debates with herself about how far is actually too far. But when she meets his eye she can’t seem to stop herself from nodding.

“Okay.”

He was her addiction, and she wasn’t going to quit.

Aaron walks outside and is immediately met by Haley who’s holding Jack in her arms.

“I was just about to put him down for nap.” She says and he takes him from her.

“I’ll do it, go enjoy yourself.” He smiles at her and only feels the slight pang of guilt for lying to her, feels a little more guilt for using his own son to get away from the rest of the team. But Haley smiles and nods, kisses his cheek quickly and turns back to JJ and Dave who were seated at the table talking to each other.

“Where’s Prentiss?” He hears Derek ask just as he turns to walk back inside the house, meeting Emily in the doorway with a look.

“Right here.” She gets the attention of the other man but give Aaron a subtle nod as they pass each other. It’s beyond reckless, but she couldn’t stay away.

She’s never been so happy for her upbringing as she was that day, that she could focus on the conversations around her even as excitement flows in her veins. The minutes drag on slowly, even with Derek’s jokes and Rossi’s stories. He was still new to the team, someone she didn’t know well yet, didn’t trust him like she trusted the rest, but he was warming up to them, and she to him.

“I have to use the bathroom.” She excuses herself after close to fifteen minutes had passed and she stands.

“The downstairs one is still a mess, go upstairs and it’s the second door to the right.” Derek tells her and she smiles her thanks. Perfect.

She finds him upstairs, just coming out of a bedroom with a baby monitor in hand. When he sees her, he stops and looks at her, a cross between want and doubt on his face.

“We’re being stupid.” She says for him, knows that’s what he’s thinking. To her surprise he walks towards her until he can take her hand and drag her into another bedroom.

“We are.” He tells her and puts the baby monitor down before pushing her up against the wall behind her. “We have to be quick.” His warm hand moves under her dress until he reaches the apex of her thighs.

“You’re sure?” Her voice comes out only slightly shaky and then his fingers drag along the seam of her underwear, feeling her wetness through the silk and she bites back a moan.

“Yes.” He claims her lips in a kiss at the same time he moves her underwear to the side to press two fingers inside of her, making sure she was ready. When he finds her wet and hot he bites her bottom lip. “You have to be quiet.” He mumbles as she drags his zipper down and then pushes his jeans and boxers down enough for him to feel the air on his heated shaft.

“So do you.” She smirks, her hand around him and when he hisses she feels a sense of accomplishment. Her legs wrap around his hip and his hand wraps under her thigh, keeping her steady as he pushes her harder against the wall. When he pushes inside of her it’s with a rough thrust, and the feeling pushing the air from her lungs.

He exhales sharply, the feeling of her always amazing and he gives them a moment before he starts to move. They don’t have time to waste so they don’t, his movements hard and fast as Emily’s fingers dig into his shirt, her head thrown back and her lip between her teeth in an effort to stay as quiet as possible.

“You like this?” He whispers against her ear, ragged breath and breathy words. “You fucking love it.”

“Y-yes.” She gasps and his eyes darken just slightly. It was wrong, so unbelievably wrong, and it only seemed to spur her on, being close to getting caught, knowing that he chose to come to her even with his wife just downstairs, it was thrilling, something she shouldn’t find arousing but did. Her fingers dug harder into his shoulder as he moved with quicker strokes and he quickly grabbed both her wrists and pinned them above her head.

“No marks.” He growled in her ear, dark and low and she let her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud.

“Fuck Aaron, harder.” She pulled him against her using her leg, forcing him as deep inside of her as possible and the low moan that left her lips caused him to quickly let go of her wrists to cover her mouth.

“Shh, quiet.” He stares her down as he continues to move, keeps his hand over her mouth when she starts to tremble. “Think you can keep quiet sweetheart? Think you can keep from screaming?”

She nodded against his hold, the smugness only getting her closer and she made a mental note to get him back at some other time. But then he changes the angle and only a few seconds later she comes, her orgasm rushing through her so fast she goes lightheaded. Her leg buckles and if he hadn’t expected it she would have fallen, but he’s there, keeping her against the wall as the pleasure washes over her.

He doesn’t move away until he knows she can stand, and carefully sets her leg down then turns her around. He’s back inside of her in moments, buries his face in junction of her neck and shoulder to keep his own groan down.

“Gorgeous thing, all mine.” He lets one hand move around her body until he’s wrapping it around her throat, squeezing loosely, the other moves down to hold her dress up enough to watch the way her body takes him.

“Yours, jesus Aaron.” She bites her hand to keep from moaning, the pleasure of him close to maddening as he keeps fucking her with even strokes. Then she feels his hand move over her hip, toward her ass until he gently presses his thumb against her other hole.

“Have you ever?” He pants, eyes fastened on the way her hole tightens as he presses the pad of his thumb against it, but she doesn’t tense up or move away from him.

“No. Never.” She expects him to try and push his thumb in there, but he doesn’t. Instead he grabs her hip and pulls her back hard against him as his hand tightens around her throat.

“Maybe some other time.” He groans quietly, the thought of being her first getting him to the edge in record time. She must feel it, because she moves back against him as his hips stutter, her walls squeezing his shaft until his jaw clenches and he bites back a groan as he comes inside of her. He can hear her low whimper through the ringing in his ears, the sound breathy and low even as his hand stays wrapped around her throat. His legs tremble as the pleasure overtakes him and only when he feels like he can breathe again, does he move away from her.

Emily quickly fixes her underwear and pulls her dress down, her hands moving to brush through her dark hair and she smiles at him.

“Can you come over soon?” She asks as he puts himself back together too.

“I’ll try.” He promises, and that’s enough for her.

She walks down first and when he joins them a couple of minutes later he notices the look Dave sends him. But he doesn’t say anything and before he can ask the older man what’s wrong Haley comes up to him.

“You were gone a while.”

“Sorry it took a while to get Jack down.” He lies, silently wondering when his life became this mess.

They keep fighting, fight until he’s not even sure what they’re fighting about. Haley rarely raises her voice, but when she does he knows that she’s moments away from saying something she’ll regret later. And then it comes.

“You put everything before us, before Jack. Every single day. It’s like you don’t want to be here at all.”

“You know that’s not true Haley.” He can feel his own anger, simmering, barely contained. There was some truth to her words, that’s why he’s angry, he would never wish something else for his life, couldn’t imagine a life without Jack. But the facts were that he spent more nights than he cared to admit in another woman’s apartment.

“Isn’t it?” Her nails are digging into her upper arms, rage she doesn’t want to show making her body shake. “You chose your job every day. You could have a normal job and-”

“And what?!” His voice is louder than he means it, and he can tell that it startles her. “Be miserable? Is that what you want?”

“Bottom line is, we aren’t enough for you.” Her words make him furious and he slams a cabinet loud enough for the wood to crack slightly. The sudden bang wakes Jack up, his cries cutting through their fury for a moment.

“I’ll go.” She says, her voice suddenly soft and tired, like all the fight drained out of her. “I’m not going to live like this Aaron. I’m done.”

Aaron watches her as she goes. He never thought his life would turn out like this.

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotch x emily #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut

41 notes · View notes

polyamzeal · 3 months

Note

I’m struggling hard with comparing myself and projecting.

My partner decided to start dating again after several years in what was a really rough place in my life. I was starting a new job that had all these plans to grow and expand our relationship pinned to it. She decided to start dating the week before I got paid the first time and could implement any of these plans. It also happened to be a week after my dog of 10 years was put down for on going cancer and seizures. After a couple of bad communication moments and some struggles to emotionally catch up I ask if she could slow down some. Not because she didn’t have the right or needed my permission, but because I was really struggling to catch up and she was moving quickly. From the first day of “I think I need to make more connection with people” to three days later being told she has four dates set up the next week. During which she forgot to lock in our long standing dates and had to rearrange so we could have that date. Then I’m told I have to leave early on my date because the guy she has seen twice in the week since this all started is coming over. I was feeling so cast aside and not considered at all. The entire time she is holding my hand and telling me it’s all okay.

I canceled the date and let her have her date with the new guy but asked to have a long talk about communication and being avoidant with information. She agreed to help me that she would slow down some and said she was sorry for being thoughtless when it came to scheduling. Since she wasn’t going to be able to see new guy for another week due to his schedule. So I decided to not come over and deal with the choice of “get okay real fast with new guy or bail out as fast as I can after work” I hated being backed into a corner like that without discussing it with me first. So, we agreed to help me along through my hard time she would slow down. Next night comes along. I’m already feeling hurt that we canceled the date for some guy she has known less than 2 weeks and he tried to cancel because of something with his dog. So she packs up her stuff goes over and has a topless make out session with him. Which we discussed after as definitely “not slowing down” and that this is her choice but she agreed to help me she would so I’m struggling to believe her when she says sweet or kind things to me because I think she is telling me what I want to hear.

I skip forward and I’m saying okay let’s meet this guy. Anytime I have been anxious about my wife dating when I have met the person I have been disarmed and more comfortable. So we meet. I wore a button up and some slacks. He wore sweatpants and no underwear which left nothing to the imagination. He is about 7 inches taller than me and built. He is literally everything social media and society tells me women want. I can’t be literally any of the things he can and it scares me to death that I’m just going to be set aside.

What is worse and makes it so hard is I struggled so much to make conversation or find him comfortable. This has ALWAYS happened with my other previous metas. It makes it so much scarier.

When this first started my partner and I did this sexual bucket list of thing we wanted from each other and now I can stop picturing her doing this with someone else and being left at home like my wants don’t matter. The hardest part is my partner and I have almost the exact same bucket lists and I was so blown away by someone who wanted these thing with me but now I’m scared I’ll never get those things and I’ll have to watch her have them with other people.

My partner is being kind and helpful but I’m having so much trouble not feeling hurt by her even when she hasn’t done anything wrong and it’s scaring me that I feel so guarded with her right now.

As you can see I’m overwhelmed by my insecurities right now.

It sounds like you are doing lots of things right. You are having lots of communication and clearly asking for what you need but not being pushy about it. Honestly it sounds like the biggest thing is just working on what is causing your insecurities. Fear can make us a bit crazy at times and blow everything out of proportions. I am always saying that PolySecure by Jessica Fern is an overrated book but I think this is the exact perfect situration to recommend the book.

Personally I think that while it is reasonable to ask her to slow down a bit for you the more important conversation should be about re-establishing what you mean to her. No good-looking guy should be able to shatter your self-confidence in yourself and your relationship if you are secure in knowing that what you bring to your relationship is unique and special. Focus on what is in your relationship instead of what isn't and what her other relationships might have.

#polyamzeal answers #anon ask

23 notes · View notes

animentality · 10 months

Note

the fun thing about durgetash for me as far as definitely toxic ships go, is that gortash and durge, as individuals, are toxic. but the ship itself? not toxic at all in my take. because as horrible as they are as people, the love they have for each other is actually very genuine. everyone else in the world is dust under their boots except for each other. they truly respect each other and get along frighteningly well and listen to each other and support each other’s atrocities and so, if you ignore the screaming of their victims in the background, their relationship is actually kind of healthy.

to be fair: this is with my version of them in mind lol i know other people have spicer takes where they ARE actively toxic to each other and such, and those are fun too but ive gotten so into the version of them where they both just exude toxicity to everyone in their lives EXCEPT each other. it’s already a trope im very weak to but its especially crazy with them. its like they cancel each other out somehow lol

like i think it takes a while to get to that point of course, to build up actual trust enough to feel even slightly safe around each other, but once they open up to each other the affection-starvation just jumps out. and then despite everything they manage to actually be gentle with each other. and neither of them deserves gentleness of any sort, but they get it anyway, from each other.

so for me durgetash is “toxic” only by virtue of the individuals involved being horrible terrible people, and because they gleefully support each other’s evil plans, and not because of how they actually treat each other, which is actually the closest thing to “normal” either of them will ever experience (and it is still so, so far from “normal” lol)

but it’s still also nice to be in a ship where the discourse is so obvious we don’t even bother lol. yes gortash has a list of human rights abuses longer than he is tall. yes he’s gonna have an evil cuddle with his evil partner-in-crime in their evil bedroom after a long, hard day of being evil. and i’m gonna be thinking about it <3

Anon, you get me.

I think durgetash just works because...they are so blatantly evil.

Gortash tortured a bunch of people trying to figure out how tadpoles worked, and the evidence of his crimes is in the mindflayer colony beneath Moonrise and in the Steel Watch Foundry. His Steel Watch guards literally kill children and innocent families.

The Dark Urge mentions killing (eating?) a BABY. They have killed thousands. They eat human meat. They torture people.

They both started the entire plot by being total pieces of shit.

So what are you going to do?

Cancel them???

The game cancels them.

Gortash literally got cancelled so hard his brain popped.

The Dark Urge dies in most playthroughs. They only become redeemable by literally dying and becoming a new person. Plus their life is so fucking awful, that it almost cancels out how bad they are, because they're a vessel of Bhaal, who can either choose obedience or death.

They are both so outrageously evil, you can't even be outraged.

No one on the entire planet is defending either of them.

It almost defeats itself as an argument, like, you say Gortash is horrible, and I say yeah, man. You say, the Dark Urge is evil, and I say absolutely.

But that's kind of why...a relationship between the two of them IS so good, though.

Sure, there have always been villainous ships, but...something about these jagged creatures having a soft spot for one another...

It just works.

It's...it's taking two wretched beasts, and giving them something human to hold between their claws.

How can you support them being together, but how could you deny them this?

They're so horrible, they don't deserve love, but at the same time, seeing profoundly evil people are still capable of love, and humanity is inescapable, no matter how inhuman you are...

Hmmmm.

Yes.

The worse Dark Urge and Enver are, the better Durgetash comes.

That's the wonderful conundrum.

It's honestly such a SHIP, anon.

THE Ship.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #durgetash #dark urge #enver gortash

84 notes · View notes

luke-hughes43 · 1 year

Text

Just Friends | edwards x Luke!twin | Part 2

Here is part 2 of the Ethan fic, hope you enjoy!

Part 1 | Insta Edit

~You are Luke Hughes’s twin sister and play hockey and softball at the University of Michigan. You’re very close with Luke given that you’re twins. You are best friends with teammate, Ethan Edwards. You and Ethan were always flirty with each other but strictly friends. Since returning to campus for your second year, things between you and Ethan have been a little too flirty. One day, everything changes.~

This is Part 2. Takes place sophomore year.

September, 2022

Morgan’s POV

So today is September 9. It’s mine and Luke’s birthday. I woke up super early and jogged over to his room and knocked on it. He opens it and smiles, “Happy birthday twin!”

“Happy Birthday twin!” He gives me the biggest hug before dragging me inside. Me and him have a thing where we always want to be the first one to say happy birthday to each other on our birthday.

We check our phones and find the happy birthday texts from mom, dad, jack, Quinn, and both teams. There’s 50 texts for both of us to go through. But there’s one in the hockey chat that catches both of our eyes:

j bone🦴🏒: party tonight at the house for the Hughes’s.

grano🏒: party starts at 9, the birthday kiddos don’t have to bring their own booze

keato🏒: so the rest of you idiots make sure you chip in enough booze to get both of them drunk as fuck. coach cancelled morning lift so we can get hammered tonight

moyle🏒: I do need like 3 or 4 volunteers to stay sober and keep an eye on everyone and make sure people get home safe.

chic🐥🏒: and invite all the girls that you know and have them spread the word. I don’t wanna look at you ugly fucks all night long. (except you morg)

Me and Luke both audibly laugh out loud at that text chain. So looks like I know what I’m doing tonight. I text the girls on the team about the party and tell them that they can all come, even if most of them hate me. Luke then hands me a bag and says, “Here. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks. Here’s your present. Open them together. One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

We open our presents at the same time. I gave Luke a new watch with “born together, die together” engraved on the band and a huge block M in the middle of it. I can tell he loved it because he had a huge smile on his face. I open his gift and it’s a ring. There’s two birds on it and the band has the same thing engraved in it. I slide it on my finger and it fits perfectly. He probably asked mom for my size. I say, “Luke, this is beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He says and we hug. Dylan finally gets up and says happy birthday giving us both hugs. I say, “I gotta go. I have lift in an hour. I’ll see you tonight.”

*Later on that night*

I’m at the house for the party that J Bone, Keato, Grano, and Moyle are throwing me and Luke. Surprisingly, my teammates came. I made sure to hide any alcohol I drank just in case. I don’t trust them to not tell coach. And I’m good at playing off being drunk if I have to.

I finally see Ethan for the first time today. He hugs me and says, “Happy birthday beautiful.” That’s the first time he’s ever called me beautiful. It was nice. He whispers in my ear, “I got you something. But I left it at the house so I’ll give it to you later.” I giggle and just nod. I whisper back to him, “I’m a little tipsy but trying to hide it from my teammates. Can we dance so I can let loose a little bit?”

“Of course. Anything for the birthday girl.” He smiles and takes my hand leading me to the dance floor. As far as I know, Ethan is also drunk. I mean I smelt the beer on his breath. He’s behind me with his hands on my hips guiding them to the music. I look up at him and he looks so hot.

I started admitting to myself a few months back that I have feelings for him. I refuse to say anything because of the team and he’s my best friend. I don’t wanna ruin that. But there’s a mysterious confidence that takes over and says, “You look hot.”

“Not as hot as you morg.”

“Stop flirting and kiss me Edwards.” He leans in and kisses me. Everybody cheers around us and goes back to doing whatever. Sparks fucking flew when he kissed me. I might be tipsy but when sparks fly, you notice and you remember. I’m glad it was Ethan kissing me and not some random guy. Everything with Ethan felt right though. He’s my best friend, but that’s all he ever will be.

January, 2023

Morgan’s POV

It was currently 7:30 in the morning. I just got out of lift and was heading to my car when I see none other than my best friend, Ethan Edwards, leaning against my door. I smile and just keep walking without saying anything. As I get closer, I see the long look on his face. Something’s up. I ask, “Ethan, what’s going on?”

“We need to talk morg.”

“Ok. Can it wait? I have class at 8 and need coffee.”

“I put a coffee in your car, and a bagel with cream cheese so that you eat. You left it unlocked and no it can’t wait. But I’ll be quick since you have class.”

“Ok, what’s going on then?”

“I can’t keep doing this anymore morg.”

I say very confused, “Doing what?”

“Pretending.” He says looking up at me.

“Ethan, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t keep pretending that what happened the night of your birthday didn’t mean anything.” He says looking kinda sad. Maybe ashamed? I can’t get a read on his emotions. “Ethan, we were drunk. It didn’t mean anything. We’re just friends. Now can you move? I have class in 25 minutes and need to change.”

He says trying to get me to stop, “I’m not done.”

“Well I have class Ethan. Can you move so I can go? We can talk after.”

I push him off my car and out of my way before driving to class. What the hell is his problem? Showing up at the end of my lift trying to tell me something important knowing that I have class directly after. Like who the hell does he think he is? The only reason I’m not upset is because he bought me coffee. That boy truly knows the way to my heart, that’s for sure.

*After class*

I get out of class and see Ethan waiting for me outside. I roll eyes and scoff as I walk by him. I hear him come after me. He says, “Morgs, wait. Please?”

“What Ethan? I’m exhausted and trying to go get my bats from your house because I left them there and I need to get cage work in. What is so fucking important Ethan?” I snap at him as I keeping walking to my car. He grabs my hand to stop me, “I can’t keep pretending that your birthday meant nothing to me morgs.”

“Ethan, let go of me. I’m not doing this with you today. I have to be at the cage with Hutch in 45 minutes and I need my bats from the house. Let go and we can talk later.”

“When is later gonna be?”

“Maybe when I’m not so overwhelmed that I want to cry all the fucking time from my six classes and two workouts and practices everyday. How’s that?”

“Morgs…”

“Don’t Ethan. I don’t have time for this right now. I’ll see you at practice.” I push by him and get in my car and drive towards the house that I live at with Ethan. I let the music take over my brain as I drive. When I get to the house, I see that Ethan is there. I mean I figured he’d go home since he lives there. He tries talking to me again though, “Morgs, please. Just give me five minutes.”

“Ethan, no. I already told you that I’m not doing this right now.” I say as I go upstairs to grab the bats that I left in my room. Luke, Dylan, Mackie, and Mark are home and watching this whole thing go down like it’s a movie. I come back downstairs and he’s standing there waiting for me.

He says desperately, “I just need five minutes. It takes fifteen minutes to get from here to the cages and you speed so I know that you have time to spare to just listen to me.”

“I can’t do this right now. I’m way too stressed to deal with this. I promise we can talk later.” I say as I grab 3 red bulls and head towards the door brushing by him. He yells after me as I approach the door, “Morgs, I’m trying to tell you that I’m fucking in love with you.”

Everybody in the house stops what they are doing, including me.

“I’ve been trying to tell you for a while. I’ve known since we kissed on your birthday. Actually, I think I knew before that. None of that matters now, morgs I’m in love with you.”

“Ethan, you can’t just drop that bomb on me when I’m walking out the door because you feel like it. That’s not fair.”

Ethan exclaims, “Oh no, don’t throw this on me. You don’t get to do that. I’ve been trying to tell you all fucking day. I’ve been trying to tell you for like a month. You’ve been blowing me off.”

“Ethan there’s a reason for that. I’m a two sport athlete trying to juggle preseason training, mid-season training, practice, games, and a heavy course load so I’m sorry that I’ve been a little flakey lately.” I sigh after I get that out.

“Did you even hear what I said? Do you even care?”

I yell back, “Of course I fucking care Ethan. I’ve been a little stressed lately so excuse me that being in love with my best friend is on the back burner and isn’t my first priority right now.”

“Are you even listening to yourself right now? I don’t care that you have class, and practice, and workouts that take up most of your time. I don’t care about anything of that because I get it. You forget that I’m an athlete too, sorry not all of us are two sport athletes Morgan.” He snaps, like actually snaps.

I hear Luke mutter, “oh fuck.” I look at Ethan with daggers. I take a deep breath so that I don’t actually kill him. “I’m not doing this Ethan, especially not if we’re just gonna scream at each other. I have stuff to do. I’m not talking to you until we’ve both cooled down so that neither of us say something we regret.” I say and walk out not giving him a chance to say anything. I sit in my car and cry for a few minutes before going to my cage session.

*At the Cages*

I’m taking my frustration out at the cages with Hutch. This is the only time of day that I get to hit since we have afternoon hockey practice and I have class in the morning. I confide in this woman like no other. She knows all about hockey and everything with Ethan. She takes notice that I’m hitting everything a lot harder than usual. She asks, “What’s going on kiddo?”

“Nothing. I’m just exhausted. I forgot what preseason is like.”

“Morg, I know something is wrong. We’ve been at this for an hour so let’s take a break ok?”

“I’m fine coach. I don’t need a break. This is the only time of day I have to work on softball so can we please just hit?”

“If you think I’m gonna let you practice like this then your crazy. I know something is wrong. So sit and talk. Now.”

I take a breath and sit down on a bucket with her. I take this time to catch my breath since I was definitely overexerting myself. She asks, “morgs, honey, what’s going on?”

“Me and Ethan kinda blew up at each other today. Badly. We’ve never done that before. And I’ve been flakey with him for like a month too.”

“What’s going on with you and Ethan?”

“He told me that he’s in love with me.”

“Oh. Morg, you’ve been in love that boy for a very long time, why did you get upset at him telling you?”

“How much time you got?” I say and we both laugh. She chuckles saying, “More than you.” That causes us to laugh even more knowing that she’s right. I ask, “Do you really wanna know?”

“I just want you to be ok. Or as ok as a two sport collegiate athlete can be. If that means sitting on a bucket and talking about the boy that you’ve loved for a long time then yea I wanna know.”

“He showed up after lift this morning. Saying how he couldn’t keep pretending that what happened the night of my birthday meant nothing to him.”

“What happened?”

“We kissed. We were drunk, but I didn’t tell you that, and we just kissed. We both had blamed it on the alcohol not wanting to ruin the friendship or anything. And yea I was a little heartbroken but I knew that’s what needed to be done so it was whatever. I brushed him off and told him that we could talk later because I needed to get to campus because I had class.”

“Good. I always tell you girls, never let a boy get in the way of your studies or your softball.”

“Trust me, Ethan won’t, and he knows that. Anyways, when I get done with class he’s waiting for me outside the building. And tries talking to me again. I would’ve been able to avoid talking to him but I left my bats at the house like an idiot.”

“Why were they at his house?”

I explain, “I live there too. None of the girls wanted me at the softball houses so I live with my brother and his friends. I wanted to live with Luke anyways.”

“Fair enough. I take you ran into him at the house?”

“That’s an understatement. Like I knew he would be there because he lives there too but I figured he would drop it because I was very adamant that I didn’t wanna talk to him at the moment. He dropped the bomb as I walking out the door. And I guess I just lost it.”

“What do you mean lost it?”

I smile, “I basically screamed at him. I was so mad, he literally yelled that he was in love with me in front of the whole house as I was walking out the door to come here. He said that he had been trying to tell me for a while or something. So I snapped back at him about how he can’t just drop a bomb on me like that when I’m walking out the door. And how it wasn’t fair.”

“I‘m gonna go out on a limb and say that it didn’t sit well with him?” She said. I chuckles and shake my head no. I say, “God no. That made it worse I think. He yelled back how I don’t get to turn it around on him since he’s been trying to tell me for a month but that I’ve been blowing him off.”

“Well, have you been blowing him off?” She inquires.

I say, “Well yea, but not because of that. I’m two sport athlete and I’m trying to juggle training for two teams, a heavy course load, and hockey games. Plus I’m on track to graduate early from my high school AP credits so there’s just a lot on my mind. It’s not that I want to blow him off and be flakey towards him, I’m just overwhelmed with everything right now. He accused me of not caring Hutch. Like how do I not care? If anything, I care too much.”

“I know. And I’m sure he knows too. It’s Ethan Edwards we’re talking about. He knows you care. He knows you better than Luke does. He knows you better than you know yourself. He probably just said it in the heat of the moment with emotions running high.”

“I mean yea but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Like, I’m obviously in love with him but with everything else going on in my life, being in love with my best friend is on the back burner. I just haven’t had the time or energy to think about it. Especially because even though I was drafted with Luke, I want my degree before going pro. I want both of them. Because I want a masters in athletic training. So I need to think about grad school now too. There’s just so much on my plate and he’s just not a priority anymore.” I say letting the stress prevail in my tone.

“Maybe that’s why your so stressed.” She says.

“What do you mean?”

Coach explains, “Last season, even with all the drama, you were the happiest I’ve seen you. And I think that it had a direct correlation to Ethan. I had Alex keeping me in the loop last year, and this year McKenna. Anytime you were pissed at Ethan your general mood and attitude were different. Even your game was different. You had some of your best games when you and Ethan were on good terms. You need him Morg. More than you want to admit, and I know that it’s scary, but you need that boy in your life.”

“I know, but it’s so hard. And he called me Morgan coach.”

Her face drops, “Oh.”

“Yea. He’s never, ever called me Morgan. Luke doesn’t even call me Morgan. So now I don’t know what to do.”

“Ok, I’m calling it for the day.” She says standing up.

“What? Why?”

“Because you are in no condition for this and that’s ok. Go home, talk to him, and get your mind right. The only way you’re going to succeed on the ice, on the field, and in the classroom is if you talk to him and get your head on straight. I’m serious go home and talk to him.”

“Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow morning for lift.” She smiles and nods and we just pick up the balls in peace. I grab my stuff and get in my car driving off towards my brothers house. I text Luke:

me: is he home?

moose🫎: yea.

moose🫎: morgy, what the hell happened?

moose🫎: I mean I was there and witnessed it but what the hell happened?

moose🫎: and are you ok?

me: honestly Lukey, I have no clue what happened.

me: is he ok?

moose🫎: no. he hasn’t left his room.

moose🫎: scratch that. he just came down for food. pls fix this

me: I’m on my way to do that. pls stall him.

I drive to their house as fast as I can. I’m definitely driving too fast but that’s fine. It’s not important right now. I take a deep breath before getting out of the car and then take another deep breath before going inside. I see Ethan in the kitchen talking to Luke. I say to Ethan, “Can I talk to you?”

“Are you just gonna yell at me? Because if you are then no. I’m not just gonna be your punching bag because your stressed, that’s not fair to me.”

“I’m not gonna yell at you.”

“Then yea, we can talk.”

Luke excuses himself and goes to the living room where the rest of the house is. They’re probably there to watch this train wreck go down. My hands are definitely shaking right now. Ethan takes my hand to stop the shaking, “hey, what’s going on?”

“Ethan I’m so sorry about earlier.”

“It’s ok, morgs. I said some things that I probably shouldn’t have too.” He squeezes my hand.

“No it’s not Ethan. I shouldn’t have said any of what I did. I shouldn’t have accused you of just dropping it on me like that when I know it’s not true. And I’m sorry that I’ve been flaking out and blowing you off recently.”

He pushes the hair out of my face and says, “Hey, it’s ok. I know that you have a lot on your plate. I’m sorry for saying that you don’t care. I know that you care, it was a heat of the moment thing and I didn’t mean it at all.”

“No, it’s not ok Ethan. Just because I have a lot going doesn’t mean I get to blow my best friend off and take all the stress out on you. I’m sorry for that. I need you, Ethan. I need you and I don’t wanna push you away.” I say crying at this point.

Ethan pulls me in for a hug and lets me cry into his chest. He pulls away and wipes my tears. He looks in my eyes and says, “You could never push me away. I need you too. Ok? And I love you. So much.”

“I love you too Ethan.”

He leans down and kisses me. I feel the same sparks that I did 4 months ago on my birthday. They’re obviously good sparks. We kiss for what feels like forever before we both hear Luke say, “Alright, alright. That’s enough. I get that you guys are in love but that’s still my twin.”

“And you’re afraid of her, I’m not.” Ethan shoots back with a raised eyebrow. I giggle and Ethan pulls me into him. I hug him and he holds me like that. Ethan looks at his phone and then says, “Ok, we’ll be upstairs. See you losers later.”

“Door open Edwards. I’m too young to be an uncle.”

“I’ll be sure to relay the information to McKenna that your too young to be a dad so you don’t wanna have sex with her.”

“At least wear protection.”

“Gross dude.” Ethan says pulling up the stairs. He leads me into his room and closes the door behind him. I giggle at that, knowing Luke is gonna go crazy. Ethan lays on his bed and pulls me with him. Once we both get comfortable he says, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Why you are so stressed that you’re pushing me away?”

“Ethan…” I say trailing off.

“Baby, I knew you were getting stressed but I was trying to let you deal with it. The guys noticed too. What’s going inside your pretty little head?”

“Between preseason softball workouts, midseason hockey stuff, school shit, games, having to practice on my own for softball, all that drama within itself. And I’ve been thinking about grad school too. There’s just so much going on.”

“Instead of pushing me away, put some of that on me.”

“I can’t do that Ethan.”

“I’m asking you too morgs. At least the stress from hockey. Let me deal with that to lighten your load a little bit. Please baby, I’m worried about you.” Ethan says with a sigh. He rubs circles on my back too. I have to say, I missed this. I missed him. I missed us. I give into him, “Fine. But only hockey.”

“Good. And I’m sorry for calling you Morgan.”

“It’s ok.”

“Hey morgs?”

“Yea?”

“Does this mean that you’re my girlfriend now?”

“Do you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Do bears shit in the woods?”

I giggle, “then yes. I’m your girlfriend.” He smiles and kisses me, like million times. It’s cute how excited he is. Like a kid in a candy store. He pulls me on top of him into a bear hug. He rolls us over so that he’s on top and then kisses me passionately. He smiles, “Now I get to show you off to the whole world as my girlfriend.”

“Well, Ethan Edwards my boyfriend, has a much better ring to it than oh we’re just friends.”

“Good. Now about the team?”

“Um, I don’t care. I mean our whole class knows that we’re together now so it really doesn’t matter. And I’m sure coach has had his suspicions for a while so it doesn’t matter.”

“Ok.” He said and kissed me again. We stay cuddling in his bed until practice.

May 2023

Today was the day we were playing UCF in the regional final in Florida for the NCAA tournament. To say that you were nervous was an understatement. Since both the Devils and the Canucks weren't in the playoffs, my whole family was here. Mom, dad, Quinn, Jack, and Luke. I mean, Luke was gonna come regardless, he’s my twin so obviously he’d be here.

Today could be the last game of the season if we lose. I obviously don’t want to lose. The whole team pulled up to Orlando for this, making a headline on ESPN. Straight up. The headline was: “Michigan ice hockey team seen getting rowdy in support of their female teammate who is also a member of Michigan softball at the NCAA Regional Tournament down in Orlando.” Apparently they interviewed like Luke, and Nolan, and Ethan, some of the guys. It was kinda cool. I was glad to have them because they keep me calm, cool, and collected.

Especially Ethan. Ever since we started officially dating in January, everything has been smooth sailing. Which I’m happy about, especially since Luke isn’t going back to AA next fall. He’s signed a rookie contract with the Devils and is moving in with Jack. Good luck to Luke on that.

Anyways, back to the game. Today is do or die. I’m catching and batting third. Like I have done all season as long as I was healthy. I had some back issues and knee issues flare up while I was playing both hockey and softball at the same time. But I’ve been relatively fine since hockey ended. I was probably over working myself.

It’s the like 5th inning or something and I’m up to bat. I hit a hard line drive to the outfield and run to first. I turn to go to second when I feel something click in my knee and it buckles. I instantly fall in pain but crawl back to first. I’m not costing us an out. We call time and the trainer gets me up and off the field.

“What happened?”

“I rounded first and there was a click, it buckled, and then there was a lot of pain.” I say trying not to cry. The trainer says a bunch of things but I’m not listening. I do hear him say, “it could be ACL. Not gonna know the full story until you get back to michigan and get an MRI. For now, here’s a brace and crutches. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“Just my phone and maybe some gatorade please?”

“Yea.” He leaves the room and comes back five minutes later with my phone and some gatorade for me. “Unfortunately, since this isn’t our facility, I can’t let anyone down here to be with you right now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Thank you.” He nods and walks out of the room. I immediately let my tears flow. It hurts a lot. Almost as much as when I blocked my brother’s slap shot with my chest and couldn’t breathe. I open my phone and text Ethan:

me: I need you to walk away from my family, more importantly my brothers, and call me. please Ethan!

eddy❤️: ok.

After about two minutes, I get a FaceTime from Ethan. I answer it and he immediately asks, “Are you ok baby?”

I shake my head no, “No. It’s my knee.”

“I figured. Do you know what’s wrong?”

“No, he said that we aren’t gonna know anything until we get back home. How is everyone?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“Freaking out. That’s not important, how are you?”

“Not good. I’m scared and in pain.”

“I’m sorry beautiful. They can’t let me down there can they?”

“No. Since it’s not Michigan facilities they can’t even let my parents down here. It sucks. Because they are still playing so I’m all alone.”

“I’m here. I know I’m not physically with you but I’m right here. Do you want me to get Luke?”

“God no. I just need you Ethan.” I say and start crying. I can’t be alone right now and I wish he could be here. God I need my boyfriend right now. He says, “Hey, morgs it’s ok. You’re gonna be ok. Baby, look at me.” I look at him through the phone and he says, “I need you to breathe for me. Just take slow, deep breaths. Like the ones I make you do before State games. You’re ok.”

I take the deep breaths like he tells me to and I feel a little better. At this point the trainer came back in with Hutch. I say to Ethan, “I got to go Ethan. The trainer and my coach wanna talk. I’ll see you and don’t tell anyone you talked to me.”

“Ok, I love you and you’re gonna be fine.” He smiles and winks. He hangs up before I get to say that I love him too. Hutch and the trainer smile when they realize I was on the phone with Ethan. Hutch says, “We lost 9-4. I’m sorry kid. The season is over. We’re heading back to school tonight. I know that you’re family is here, so you own’t have to return with us if you don’t want.”

“I’m gonna talk to my mom first.”

“Ok. I understand. And I understand if you want to go home with your family. Hey, it’s gonna be ok kid. We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks Coach. And thanks for a great season.” She nods and pats my back before heading out. She knows that I don’t want any of the girls in here. I can’t deal with all of that right now. The trainer says, “I talked to the UCF staff. They said I can let 3 people down here. Who do you want me to get?”

“My mom, Luke, and Ethan.” He nods and walks out of the training room. I focusing on breathing and calming myself for when they come in. After like 10 minutes my mom, Luke, and Ethan come walking in. My mom instantly hugs me. And then Luke, and then Ethan. He probably holds me the longest.

My mom asks, “Ok, what did the trainer say?”

“He said that he doesn’t really know what it could be and that I need to get it looked at back home.” I say with a half smile. My mom takes a deep breath and says, “Ok. Our flight back leaves tonight, so I don’t know when the team is leaving but we can get you a ticket and figure something out.”

“The team is also leaving tonight so I’ll just go with them.” She nods and says, “I’ll give you guys a few minutes. Feel better honey and let me know about the flight and stuff.” I nod and then Ethan comes over and really hugs me after. Like a bone crushing hug. But it’s fine because I started crying when he hugged me so this hug is hiding my tears.

He pulls away and wipes my tears. He smiles and says, “We’re gonna figure this out baby. I promise. Together.” I nod and pull him back in to hug him. He lets go and moves so that Luke can hug me again. Luke says, “Hey, it’s ok. I got your back. We got this, together. You’re my twin, and the Hughes Twins are tough as nails. Born together?”

“Die together. Thank you Luke. I love you.”

“I love you too morgy. Let’s get you home yea?” I nod and then we head out. Ethan helps me carry everything to the team bus and stuff. He hugs me and says, “I’ll see you in Michigan, I love you baby.”

“I love you too Ethan.” I kiss him before getting on the bus with the team. I put my headphones in and close my eyes and drift off to my own little world. This is about to be the worst summer ever, possibly longer.

#umich hockey #ethan edwards #new jersey devils #ethan edwards imagine #ethan edwards x reader #ethan edwards x luke!twin #hockey

79 notes · View notes