#except he doesn't have a mom

[harbingersecho]

they had to pause their morning workout to drive wash to the ER at 7 am bc he somehow got hit by a car while getting mail. there's traffic. maine fiddles with the radio and carolina is imagining herself parkouring over the other cars

[thebrainrotsreal]

Thinking about de-aged Bruce via magical shenanigans being a bit of a menace. He will bite you if given the chance, and will draw blood. Slippery as an eel to catch. Don't even think you can corner him in his own home, he knows every single secret room and deep tunnel in the manor. Your eyes are scratch-able to him. Try telling he's the future and he's demanding you tell him who killed his parents. Can't tell him? Alright then, you're lying. He would've found out by now if this really the future.

[egophiliac]

Have you seen Lilia's vignette yet? Our insight into his initial parenting skills sure was, something.

HA HA YEP, Lilia's. questionable parenting has come up a few times and it's always, like, he read Baby Instructions 101 and went "ooh, I like red, I'll do those ones :)". he has Dad Instincts, but unfortunately they are Stereotypical '90s Sitcom Dad Instincts.

it was, however, worth it to see Sebek (watching Lilia gleefully dunking a bat into a coffee cup) just slowly turn to Silver and go "how the fuck are you alive".

[cinderpaw11]

I'm sick of DILFs. what about DILAM (dads I'd like to adopt me).

[nexus-nebulae]

another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie

[blujayonthewing]

well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'

[tittyinfinity]

I'm thinking about becoming a foster parent once I have permanent, stable housing....

[beep-beep-imma-sheep]

One of these days I had my powerful 3-whole-hours of sleep. My dear littlest cousin decided, then, to show me a ... Skibidy Toilet (I think that's what it's called) video.

I did not understand a single thing he showed me as I was sitting there, nodding and musing the best smile I could as I was a blink away of plop into the ground.

I just know that I feel so privileged... This little kid trusts me enough to show me something he enjoys. He wanted to enjoy something he likes with me.

I can't possibly imagine myself doing that with any of my older cousins nor siblings because they would, FOR SURE, make fun of every aspect of it. Has happened already, comedy.

It can be the "cringest cringe to ever cringe" for all I care, he can ramble about it for hours if he wants, I'm here to listen. I'll ask questions and very much enjoy the entire conversation.

Come one, everyone had a "cringe" phase.

(I die everytime I remember what I did when I was younger).

People still consider fandoms, fics and shipping characters as cringe-. I have absolutely no right to criticize here.

And.

Again.

He's a kid. He's happy, having fun, and no one's getting hurt. Let's keep it that way.

But, for the love of God, can someone explain to me what is going on-?. I genuinely don't get it.

Btw I think I ended up venting in the tags-lmao.

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

bro, this took like three days 😅

EDIT: updated "1997" to "1994" and tweaked face a little bit AND added a little scar ref/notes

I'm not posting TJ's dick on tumblr but it is also tattooed (the pac-man tattoo is on the underside and the magic wand is on the top side)

These tattoos are, as mentioned on the drawing, a mix of DIY and professional or semi-professional work, with most but not all of the pro work done later on (post-costume update in my head but idk exact dates necessarily since I don't have a real story for TJ atm...)

So some of them suck more than others 😂 The real challenge is making them look bad in a way that looks good... lol

anyway closeups of some of the tattoos under the cut:

these are mostly the DIY stick and pokes and I tried to make some of them look like the ink bled a little (hopefully successful) — It's just random stuff, some of it TJ did himself (and that's why some of his tattoos are upside down or sideways lol) and some of it probably by friends or ex-girlfriends or tattoo apprentices who suck.

He does have a little chunk missing from his left butt cheek, yes, btw.

the masterful tiger was probably a $50 job from someone with a tattoo gun rather than stick and poke, though... like an apprentice... or someone who just can't draw tigers...

Left wrist is a flower done professionally and the right is that alien stick and poke.

Palm scars are from Snack Incidents (knife slipping while cutting various foods)

in my notes TJ lives alone with his dad, and his mom is dead, so the intent with the flowers tattoos here is that this is one of TJ's first actually professionally done tattoos that he actually spent money on to memorialize his mom.

and then as time passes he gets a full sleeve done that's also pretty good quality in stark contrast to most of his tattoos.

It's not like a super complicated, extensive one because I'm terrible at coming up with ideas to fill out sleeves like that, but he can probably add on to it later. I figure this one is at least partially done with actual dotwork, vs the DIY stick and poke stuff or cheap tattoo guns.

the firework on his elbow probably technically qualifies as either a coverup or an expansion since it's going off the smaller one he already had there and making it look much nicer.

I also decided that he has a cigarette burn scar inside of that little sun, not as a cover-up necessarily, it's just a dumb scar he got from a dumb bet (which he won) lol but I figured that would be as good a place as any to put it

and...

also these lol. obv the 10 cent ride is above his dick, and probably hidden under his underwear or pants most days... and the Pac-Man tattoo, like I mentioned before, is on the underside of his dick. You know, for presentation. Also because I didn't want to deal with trying to figure out how it would look squashed together when he doesn't have a boner LOL

the magic wand is on the top of course but like I said, I'm not putting that on tumblr, even if it's not sexually explicit or whatever.

and yes he has a pubic piercing, a dydoe, and matching prince albert with a curved barbell specifically for the Pac-Man joke 😂

TJ has most of his tattoos because he's kind of a masochist and he likes it, but he also has a sense of humor more than being a particularly edgy guy, and he likes to have fun, so I figure he would get a kick out of going to hook up with someone and waiting for them to start laughing once they get his pants off.

...wait, does that count as a humiliation kink?

obviously plenty of girls would be unimpressed by this and other times it probably just derails the whole "sex" thing because "Oh my God, didn't that hurt?!" but... I think it adds character even if I'll probably never draw it again lol

If you really want to see his dick I have a separate bluesky account where I post nsfw or suggestive art so my mom doesn't see it (lol) which you can find by searching for the username "hornygoldenirises" LOL

oh here's a bonus just showing his build side by side before and after doing lots of REfactor stuff and working out to impress-slash-fistfight a cute girl:

[plexiglasscoffin]

I'm taking care of Huxley for a month starting tonight :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

[para-psych-doodles]

2 different flavors of mommy issues

i haven't been posting much bc i've been too busy WRITING abt these mfs!!!! also i was really depressed

anyway here's a little sampling of their dynamic. or something. idk i don't usually draw stuff like this so i hope it gets the point across lol

[heartshattering]

Feeling like I want to give up again...

[dredshirtroberts]

people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????

it's more likely than i think, apparently.

[polyamquackity]

.

[airenyah]

sometimes i feel like i missed out on a lot of "italian-ness" bc we stopped going there on a regular basis when i was 9 and i hardly ever saw that side of the family but then i come across a video on youtube titled "southern italians arguing" and it's just a civil (but lively) discussion about a card game the men were in the middle of playing and i'm getting flashes of what it sounds like when my sicilian dad gets real angry and it reminds me of that one time last year when i was working as an intern at a theater (in austria) and one of my tasks was to feed the actors their lines during rehearsals and one time the lead actor came up to me saying "i'm sorry that i'm always so snappy and impatient when i ask for my lines" and i went "this is nothing?? no offense taken"

or this other time, i can't remember if it was at that theater as well or if it was a different context (still in austria) but one time someone got a little loud with me (bc they were irritable and it didn't have anything to do with me or anything that i'd done) and afterwards those who were witnessing the situation were telling me "you do know you don't have to let yourself be treated like that and that you can tell them off, right?" and i was just there like ".......wait i was getting yelled at just now????"

i'm so used to my sicilian dad (and my half-sicilian brother) getting loud at any random minor inconvenience that it for real didn't even register that this person was "yelling" at me for austrian standards, ESPECIALLY since i knew i hadn't done anything wrong and it was all them and their bad mood at the time. and while i did realize that this person wasn't having the best of times in that moment, the fact that they were getting loud at me just simply didn't register. my brain honest to god just went "ah yes this is a completely Normal volume for this level of bad mood, cool cool" and i just kept chilling while everyone around me went "the audacity?? how could they be so rude to you?? are you okay??"

[deadrocks]

My controversial BG3 opinion is that I believe Gale had enjoyable sexual (and even emotional) relationships with various other mortals before becoming Mystra's Chosen/lover.