#except my dad isn’t a war criminal

[magicwithineleteo]

new zuko rebrand bc i feel like im in my zuko era (i am angry all the time due to my trauma)

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

If you're still doing things like this; AU where All Might fought AfO earlier, and in the aftermath, All Might finds his archnemisis' infant son, in a little crib crying his lungs out. He has a small amount of green hair and the brightest green eyes you've ever seen.

It's not even a choice, All Might takes the boy in, despite the HSPC telling him to kill the boy, to make sure nothing of All For One remains.

I actually had an au i never got to writing with basically this exact premise, except Izuku was a clone of AFO Toshinori rescued from a lab. I’m going to try and mix it up a little though.

Toshinori finds a secret door in the ruins of the villain lair he and a bunch of other heroes just busted. A baby room, complete with a toy box in the corner, animals painted on the walls, and a tiny crib in the middle. He immediately shifts from fight mode to rescue mode, cradling the tiny crying bundle. The raid started hours ago, who knows how long he was alone? He’s in denial at first, maybe this was a child of one of AFO’s lackies, or a baby they kidnapped and planned to experiment on. But examinations and further research of the site confirm that this is the son of All for One.

The HPSC won’t stoop so low as to order an infant killed, but they are very interested in using the child’s potential for their own benefit. And it’s best he’s raised in closely monitored captivity to contain him in the event he inherited his father’s affinity for violence. Toshinori believes that if the kid is raised under the assumption he’ll be a villain or weapon, that’s all he’ll ever be. But a stable home full of love would make him just like anyone else. And since he doesn’t trust anyone else not to be manipulated by the Commission, Toshinori takes on the responsibility himself.

In my original clone concept, Toshinori named him Izuku after the number 9 on his growth pod. In this, let’s say he just liked the name. And Izuku is by all accounts, a normal baby. He has only two significant abnormalities: an extra joint in his pinky toe, indicating quirklessness, and the fact that he hardly ever cries. Not when he’s hungry, not when he needs to be changed. The implication is that he was used to being left alone, in attended to. As a result, Toshinori has to watch him very closely. But this ends up being a brief episode, and Izuku quickly learns how to be clingy instead.

The clinginess continues as he gets older. As a compromise with the HPSC, Izuku isn’t allowed to attend normal school and needs to be homeschooled. As a result, he grows up very isolated and poorly socialized, with a desperate attachment to his dad, Toshinori. He’s also got a potent anxiety disorder that leaves him spiraling at even small changes in his life. It’s extremely unhealthy, and it’s only going to get worse if the HPSC gets their way to make him one of their private heroes. So Toshinori sneaks around the HPSC and makes a deal with UA to enroll him.

Once Izuku is in UA and clearly showing signs of All Might’s quirk after being tested for quirklessness, the HPSC threatens to denounce All Might and ruin his career. He counters that he has 15 years of documentation about their insistence of treating an innocent child like a war criminal. So it’s a stalemate. Izuku on the other hand has no idea. He’s just excited to be around kids his own age, even if he’s a little awkward with them. He grows especially close to Todoroki after the sports festival, bonding over their shared experience as the isolated children of big heroes they struggle to live up to. He doesn’t find out about his true father until much later.

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Hung Out to Dry

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

This is starting right after the last episode, so there’s no introductory conversation, alas.  Instead, the space in between reactions was filled with Jezebel ignoring me and then insisting I send her the link to the show despite it being RIGHT THE FRICK NEXT TO THE LAST EPISODE.  Hmph.  Problematic one.

Sir is both an asshole and manipulative

[Welp.  That’s a mood killer.]  Ma’am was in the neighborhood and thought she’d invade my reaction, I see.  [That.  Was not to you.  But actually kinda works.]

Oof.  Sir leaves the door unlocked but has no phone.  Unreachable except when he isn't, I see alkdsj

What are the chances he wasn’t already dead and that’s why his chute didn’t open?

"My dad's gonna kill me"  Welp.  Bit dark given the circumstances, but go off  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

Logan, please.  Wait, shit: *Tony, please

“It was a death rattle”  “You ever hear a death rattle?”  “I was using it as a trope.”  Dude, you’re a tool.

I mean… dead dude = pinata.  Checks out to me, Ducky

Guess the groan might rule out my already-dead hypothesis, but idk if I trust this kid’s judgement

"Why didn't he pull it" BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD

She's still needing to be told to put on gloves alskdjf

Tony and the frivolous photographs.  Max wouldn't take that kinda shit without bitching and you know it (but I love it, so, and I don’t care abt Max’s judgement anyway, so.)

THOSE BOOTS LOOK AWESOME; I'M JEALOUS

Tony, focus.

Tony is not focusing

"It's his anniversary"  "Which marriage"  Anniversary of a death, maybe?  Dead wife?

Oh dammit.  So much for that^.

Tony continues to not focus and I appreciate this

"We don't stop for casualties in war.  Nor do we in training" that's stupid [☠️☠️☠️☠️ military *sigh*  This is a spin off of Jag btw.]  Ah, I see.  [iirc Gibbs was in an ep of jag and people liked him so much he got his own show…. That’s still running] Damn

"I'm not calling my boss.  I'm calling yours"  Well, damn.

"Thumper" like the bunny rabbit? aslkdfj

IT IS THUMPER LIKE THE BUNNY RABBIT

“Was he dead when you reached him?”  NO HE WAS DEAD IN THE AIR; GUARANTEEEEEE  (I’m gonna cry if this is wrong; I’m so convinced about it at this point)

"Obviously his reaction time was too slow" or maybe he was DEAD

I spy with my little eye a scene from the intro

Dammit.  FINE, okay, guess he wasn’t dead when he fell.  Hmph.  Rude. (*cries*)

Okay, Tony and Abby and their art conversation are, at once, my beloveds

“Double your pleasure”  “Double your fun”  Please.  PLEASE.  These two are hilarious together

Poor Tony, stuck being the audience scapegoat since someone had to ask about opioids and obviously he’s stuck in that role 

Um.  An acid?  That’s.  That’s so specific.

Tony, why are you fiddling with the parachutes?  Someone’s gotta re-rig that now alksdfj

Oof, not the criminal recor- I’M SORRY, SHOPLIFTING AND DRUG POSSESSION??? THOSE ARE NOT REALLY THE MOST GATEWAY CRIMES TO MURDER

Okay, hair still isn’t regulation, and lab coats aren’t supposed to be open, but I appreciate the other PPE.  CSI doesn’t even use goggles most of the time.

I continue to love Abby

NOT TONY STILL HARPING ON THE ELECTRICAL TOOLS

Gibbs is still an ass, and the Alec-coded character continues to suffer the brunt of it.  But Jezebel has said that there’s an even more Max-coded character later, which will be.  Interesting.

Wait, I’m sorry.  Excuse me.  Nine of the sixteen chutes were sabotaged.  They’re randomly handed out.  The entire point of this information is that — unless more is learned — no one specific person was being targeted.  So saying “this person had a grudge against the dude who happened to die” is so illogical because they just spent the last five minutes pointing out repeatedly that it was a random chute assignment!?!??!  AHHHHH

Abby picking on Tony feels more affectionate, ngl.  I don’t hate it

Oh, no, not the epithelial analysis alksdfj

– – –

Did I forget the midpoint reaction again?  Mebbe.  But that’s a good sign because clearly I was just.  So absorbed.

ANYWAY.  Still enjoying it!  I’m kinda annoyed by the whole, you know, pick-on-Tony brigade (not as much with Abby because it feels like banter not picking, and those are different, but it still is a bit.  Hmm.) but otherwise, not bad!  I don’t know enough about the show to say if I like this episode better or worse than the pilot, but I’ll get more of a sense of that as the season progresses.  Abby, my beloved.  Alec Tony, my vaguely-idiot beloved.  (Yes, I am seeing him as an extension of Alec; what of it!?)

On we go.

– – –

“For every legal firewall, there is a way around it”  That’s not concerning at all

Not Tony knowing where Gibbs was going with the horse analogy; how many times you used that one, bud?

Y’all, please, this is twice now (once in the title, once in a quote) that y’all used “hung”.  It’s hangeddddd

“Scuttlebutt”  Tony, I appreciate you

Tony, stop rambling about Gibbs’ wife.  Ex-wife.  Whatever.

Can we please stop making Tony an idiot; this wasn’t in his character in episode 1 and it’s rude [Oooof. You. You may be in for an unpleasant surprise]  *sigh* Look.  As I said.  I’m viewing him as Alec 2.0.  I still like Alec better, but.  Yeah.  So I’m unhappy with this development

Poor kid (not sarcastic)

Being nice to the kid = way to ingratiate yourself with the grieving widow, I see

I, too, would ruin my outfit right before a funeral because I wanted to climb trees.  (I did that once, actually.  Went to a wedding wearing high heels and managed to strip the fabric off the heel because of how much running around playing tag I was doing.  I was a teenager.)

Not a bad salute, to my knowledge

Oh, no.  Tony, please be safe.

"Research for Abby"  Is that what they're calling it these days?

“How did you get into NCIS?”  Rude.

Y'all, I'm begging you.  If you have long hair.  TIE IT BACK.  Speaking as someone who has worked in an actual lab, this is killing me.

... Sergeant Nutt, huh?

THE SCUTTLEBUTT RETURNS

Y’all, please.  Once again.  Stop.  Acting.  Like this was targeted.  To “Thumper.”  The chutes were randomly assigned.

Leave Tony aloneeeeee

Poor Tony.  (They didn’t leave him alone.)  [Alas they typically don’t]

I am once again begging y’all to consider that this was a RANDOM ACT OF SABOTAGE

“With Gibbs you never know”  Yeah, buddy’s a bit enigmatic.

Cocaine = Motive!  Except!  Once again!  Apparently!  It!  Was!  Random!

Not the Significant Looks

Oh, no.  I thought the “Oh, no.  Tony, please be safe.” jump was bad enough.  This is.  Worse.

I'm sure it'll be made clear but how dare y'all stick him with a broken reserveeeee

NO THIS IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS  “No, 4’s unlucky in China”  “We’re not in China”

I’m vaguely annoyed that the drug possession apparently was the gateway crime to murder.  You couldn’t have given the guy an assault charge or something?  That feels a bit more in line with murder.

Did.  Did Tony just fall out of the plane.

I guess he's having a good time doing it, but.  sir.   This is not what I meant by "please be safe"

This kid is adorable, and I appreciate Gibbs helping with the treehouse.

THAT’S A WRAP!

– – – 

This episode may or may not have aggravated me.  A lot.  It would have been soooo easy to just leave off the whole “the chutes were given out randomly” bit if they wanted it to be targeted.  Or, if it were supposed to be random, then have one of the riggers be pissed for mistreatment from the whole unit, so it didn’t really matter who got sabotaged.  But now, there’s this glaring writing illogic that is.  Bugging me.

I still love Abby in all things.  Tony’s characterization feels iffy compared to last episode, but whatever; I still, currently, am okay with it.  Gibbs continues to be a bit of an ass.  Kate and he continue to be… complicated.  I like Ducky, but he wasn’t in that one much.

Still enjoying, though, so we’ll see what it’s like when the first episodes’ jitters work out!

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[ramblinseahorsey]

There’s so many people out there trying to give Greg’s parents the benefit of the doubt, saying they meant the best for him, or that Greg just didn’t do a good enough job explaining to them he was unhappy.  That Greg and Steven just need to talk to them, to reach out to them, and hope is a great thing.

But I knew the second I saw this shot that they didn’t love him. They didn’t answer his letters.  Never. Didn’t even read them.  Don’t try and tell me Greg didn’t try.  Don’t tell me he didn’t reach out.

Greg didn’t just say they just discouraged music or pushed him to do sports, this isn’t a Barbara kind of miscommunication.  He clearly said they forced him to do sports and music was off limits. He tried.  From the looks of it, he tried many years after he left too. 

Don’t try and tell me that parents that saw their kid constantly frowning or looking like they were gonna cry in their photos and did nothing about it loved their kid. 

The only picture we see Greg look happy in was his school photo.  Not the one they liked enough to frame.  It is possible there are happy pictures around here with him and his parents we just didn’t see, but I wouldn’t place any bets on it.

The only mistake Greg made in Mr. Universe was not being more tactful with how he explained all of this to Steven.

Greg never specified the lack of love, and therefore Steven just didn’t get it.  He saw all these pictures and trophies and baby items and thought, that’s love, right?  He doesn’t understand or know about the parents who obsess over nick knacks, doesn’t get that these weren’t treasured memories to them, they were collectibles.  Anybody who’d still keep the letters, but not open them, was clearly after the status of being parents, not the actual time with their kid.  They kept in view things from a time he was obedient.  But all Steven sees is the image of a pretty, normal family house, the image Greg’s parents were more obsessed with maintaining than communications with their actual kid.  

They wanted him in their life at first, sure, but only back when they still thought there was hope that he’s end up just like them.  Back when he would still go to the island, back when he couldn’t fight his hair getting cut, back when they thought he could be the cookie cutter clone of them that looked neat in family photos and would prevent them from having to explain to people what he did for a living or why he wasn’t going on vacation for them, yet again, using him as a part of their image, not their son.  

Greg wouldn’t have called all of that junk, when he’s been shown to love collecting and having random junk, failed to emotionally connect or get nostalgic about a single item there, if there had been any love or bonding attached to any of them. 

Greg is a loving, loving, forgiving man.  If there had been any good memories in that house, 

he wouldn’t have constantly looked miserable in it except when he was talking about when he escaped it.

Greg, unknowingly, and only trying to help, bless his heart, made a huge mistake with a single sentence.  

“Trust me, your better off than I was!”  OUch.

He pushed Steven away the second he made a comparison between their lives.  You just can’t play the comparison game with people who were traumatized. 

Was he right that Steven got to grow up with love Greg didn’t? Well, yes, but Steven doesn’t realize that.  All he hears is the man who grew up in a nice, warm, not corrupted gem attacked house, with a nice, normal, not training just in case someone was on their way to murder you education, in a calm, relaxed, not born a war criminal childhood.  And complaining about it!

Of course he got mad!! Even if Greg had specified he wasn’t loved, how could he dare use the word better to describe Steven’s life?  Greg meant nothing bad by it, but as far as Steven was concerned, Greg was telling him he had a wonderful childhood, a wonderful future ahead of him, “just like mom” did.

Greg couldn’t have just brought up a half alien baby wanted dead in a normal community, training with the gems, unstable parents or not, was necessary for his survival.  But in the heat of the moment, Steven doesn’t think of that, the way he talks in this scene, he really thinks he could’ve had that, that a normal childhood could’ve “fixed” him, and that his dad’s choice was the only thing that stopped him from having that.

And between that and the crash, that was the trigger needed for Steven to push his dad away.  The guilt for yet another person he thinks he’s a danger to, and the huge feelings of jealousy he was too ashamed yet still too angry to voice over his dad getting to grow up human.  Steven saw his yearbook pictures and nearly got choked up saying the words “more human” pausing with a frown he quickly gets rid of, yearning to be the human in Greg’s pictures.  

So many out here are trying to take sides, either saying Greg was wrong and Steven was right, or Greg was right and Steven was wrong, but in the end both are true.  Both had the right to be unhappy with what they were given, and both should have done a better job trying to understand and listen to the others plight. 

While Greg should have worded things much, much more tactfully, and definitely, even if accidentally, hurt his kid with his words, he meant no more harm than any of the other people who’ve tried to cheer him up, and was right about all he said.

Yet you can’t get mad at Steven either, because as far as he’s concerned, all he learned today is that his dad had it so much easier, less terrifying, and found an identity in a way that Steven couldn’t relate to, couldn’t use.

That his dad can’t help him anymore.

Edit:  I’m not saying redemption is impossible for his parents,(Steven Universe is all about second chances), I’m saying that I can’t see it happening.  If you wanna be technical about it, anyone can be redeemed.  But that’s the point isn’t it? Anyone can change, but they have to want to.  The only person I could see being less likely to want to change is Marty.  

While possibilities are endless, the people who can not love their own child while raising them don’t tend to be the kinds of people to have a turnaround.  Not saying it hasn’t happened before, just that it’s so very, very rare.

These two made it very clear they didn’t want to, that they don’t want to.  It would be different If the letters were opened.  For a redemption/family reunion to work with these two, they’d have to make the first step.  Perhaps they’d get wind of Steven’s existence, and in a change of heart that came in old age, they’d get motivated to try getting back in touch even though they thought at this point it was too late.  Perhaps we’d get a shot of opened letters falling down not neat and tidy on the dresser.  

For it to work for me, Greg would have to receive a letter.

But i’m not holding my breath.

[ad1thi]

underrated stevetony fics rec list (P2)

this is ridiculously late and im so sorry, but here’s part 2 of this list!!

//

sweet lips on my lips (kiss like real people do).: @nethandrake

Frankly, if anyone told Tony that he’d be carried out of a burning building, well, he would’ve laughed in their faces. And if they were being extra mean about it, he probably would’ve even thrown them across the Atlantic.

After all, he’s Tony Stark. And Tony Stark always makes sure he has a safety net installed in his armor for emergencies, so it wouldn’t be out of commission before the building decided to collapse onto itself.

And yet, here he is, his armor out of commission, and being carried out of a burning building.

Carried out of a burning building by Steven Grant Rogers.

(In which Tony's from Civil War and Steve's from Infinity War. It's a problem.)

Rising: @withstarryeyes

Heat is licking up his sides and he groans, feeling his knees turn wobbly, and fumbles his way to the wall of the elevator. The metal is blessedly cool on his forehead and he sighs, eyes burning when he closes them. It’s still dark outside and every fiber of Tony’s being is telling him to go back to bed but he has work to do and plans to make and a blueprint open on his desk in the lab, Fury approved, and he can’t not do his job. So he musters all his strength and pushes off the wall when the elevator lands, ignoring his wet hacking as he moves.

He falls before he makes it to the bench, his top coated in sweat, and his eyes shutting to the whirling sensation that takes his breath away and leaves him panting in nauseated gasps. His hand shakes from where it’s planted on the ground, keeping him up.

the square root of infinity: @firebrands

steve and tony have their first fight. tony doesn't handle it well.

A Social Engagement: @finduilasclln

Written for the prompt: “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

Steve agrees to something without fully comprehending what it means. Modern times are confusing.

Wounds Without A Bandage: @gotthesilver

Tony burrows deeper in his blankets, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to forget the last year. Taking control of Stark Industries was one thing, even if it had been a shock to Obie and the rest of the board when Tony came of age and started dispensing of all his dad’s old cronies, but SI’s exploration team actually finding Steve? Tony deciding Steve should come live with him? Tony has regrets.

Well.

He has regrets this morning.

Before last night, the most Tony regretted in relation to Steve was not jumping him the moment it became clear all his faculties were intact and that Tony hadn’t defrosted a brain dead Captain America.

Love Like A Hunger: @gotthesilver

Pushing the door open to the bedroom, Steve pauses at what he sees. “Tony? I—”

“Surprise?”

“I—” Steve swallows, taking in the sight of Tony, blood instantly going to his cock as he looks him up and down. “You look—wow.”

Tony’s got on a damn Princess Leia outfit, gold curling around his chest and hips, with red fabric skimming over his crotch, and Steve’s brain feels like it’s shut down.

The Night Shift: @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

the james braincell: @starklysteve

“Right. How do we get them to admit they love each other?”

In front of him, Bucky brings out a metal flask and takes a swig out of it. “Hell if I know. You’re the genius who went to MIT.”

“I studied aerospace engineering,” Rhodey rolls his eyes, “not how to get two idiots to kiss.”

-------

Or, Bucky and Rhodey are the braincells.

In a desperate last ditch attempt, they set Steve and Tony up for a blind date.

Steve and Tony don't know that their date is each other. But they might have a braincell of their own. Might.

the good place (is next to you): @starklysteve

“I mean,” Tony tries his best shot at breaking the tension, “if you’re stuck with the wrong guy, at least I’m sexier than your real deal?”

Tony died and got sent to some sort of heaven, with Captain America as his soulmate. Except, they got the wrong Anthony Stark, and to stay in the Good Place, Tony must convince Steve to teach him how to be good.

-x-

(watching The Good Place is not necessary to understand this AU, but will help)

president captain america: @livingtheobsessedlife

He’s supposed to be campaigning to be elected as president of the United States, not pining over some billionaire he met at one of his campaign events. And yet, Steve can’t seem to get genius, philanthropist (and his newest big-time donor) Tony Stark out of his head.

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

Between Two Infinities: @/anonymous

The Titanic, 1946. Steven Grant Rogers did not think that going to war would end up with him being three times his normal size with superstrength and agility to boot, and... rich...but hey, he wasn’t complaining. Steve also didn’t expect to fall out of love- if it was even love in the first place- with the woman he was explicitly told to propose to, and instead fall for a formerly rich, formerly a playboy, still a genius, Tony Stark. Especially because, you know, it was a little tiny bit illegal, and he was supposed to be “America’s Golden Boy”, as Bucky put it.

All Tony expected out of the trip was to escape Europe with his best friend thanks to a lucky game of blackjack. He didn’t think he’d find himself having sex in the back of a car located in the cargo hold of the Titanic, or almost jumping off said ship. But that was just the life of a rogue Stark child, wasn’t it? At least Peggy was nice. Her dad, not so much.

A Thief Like Tony Stark: @dontholdthiswarinside

Tony is a high ranking criminal, known for his talent to disappear. Steve is a disillusioned soldier who needs some cash.

And some people will always be heroes, no matter what they do for a living.

The Things We Can’t Unsee: @/orphan-account

The mission was simple: get in, gather information, get out. Of course, Steve never really expected the enemy to follow this plan. One way or the other, something was bound to happen. They were the Avengers, after all. Nothing ever went easy for them.

What Steve didn’t expect was it going as far as it did; he didn’t expect having to make a decision that nobody should have to make.

Now Bucky’s lying there, bloody and dying all because of him, and Natasha’s poisonous words keep ringing in his head. Thinking about the ring he carries with him every day, Steve knows she’s right.

He’d never be able to make that call if it were Tony.

The Last Barman Poet: @nativemossy

Tony wasn't expecting anything more than dealing with a tequila-drunk Clint and a slightly wrinkled suit on this trip to Mexico. He got plenty more than he bargained for when he catches the eye of a handsome vacationer at the swim-up bar. Tipsy shenanigans ensue.

[transformezzzzzz]

Alright, looks like I’m back on a transformers binge so fluffy, nobody is dead au where oopsie doodle magic science shit happens and all the clones get to teleported to the transformers universe and get to hang out on Griffin Rock.

( for y’all that don’t know what the hell im taking about griffin rock is the town these 4 transformers are assuming to protect after they come out of stasis to find that their planet can no longer sustain life after their 4 million year war and their mission is to serve and protect the humans and learn from them now that their calling earth their new home and they live with a family of rescue workers, the show is called transformers rescue bots and it’s a really cute light fluffy show filled with adventure I think you all would like it, you can pirate it just about anywhere)

Reasons they should go there:

Ghosts

Dinosaur island

Mad scientists

The blob

Dream gremlins

Hella robots

Conspiracy theorist news reporter

A cross eyed lion

Expired bunker meat that turns people into Bigfoot

Realistic family and friend interactions

Mayor with a fake toupee

Teleportation via bugs

Weather machines

Time travel

Constant volcanic eruptions

A cat named Mr. pettypaws

Optimus Prime gets hunted for sport as a dinosaur

Meteorites

Twin shoplifting criminal masterminds

The main antagonist is from like, the 1920’s and is quite fruity and wears a monocle and he ends up walking into the sunset with Jules Verne

Local man who gets around via helicopter jet pack

Constant natural disasters

Robo babies

Bread Santa clause

Local grouchy old lady who believes in fairies

Spelunking

Multiple dooms day devices

Island of misfit tech

The liberty bells Lind lost cousin

The Bermuda Triangle

Space worm vampires

Sports car James Bond

Pirates

Virtual reality

FLYING LOBSTERS

Mark Hamill

Crazy uncle you only ever see once a year

Jungle tower

Helicopter that’s afraid of heights

Bulldozer that likes to pain with mashed up peas

Police car that would jail you for not using the cross walk

Fire truck with anger issues

SHRINK RAY

SERBO THE ROBO DOG

So Mr.Burns is the police chief and the father of the Burns family and he is a lot like plo Kloon and I really think y’all would love this show

but I think this would be a really great place for the clones to be safe in and relax, have some shenanigans. HELLA SHENANIGANS. But the 501st, the 212th, the 104th and the Coriscant guard are definitely in this, fuck it the alpha arcs are there too.

But I really want waxer and boil to interact with mr. petty paws the cat, and for whatever reason unbeknownst to the locals Ms.Neaderlander loves the two boys. Waxer: *picking up the cat and petting him* Boil: huh, that’s a funny looking loth cat.

Or the one kids nickname is Cody and I want a scene she his dad, Chief burns is trying to find him and yells “CODY” and commander cody who was near by just turns on his heels and is like “yes chief burns?” And the chief is like no not you, my son, thank you tho. And Cody’s like :( what am I chopped liver and chief just sighs.

Bolder trying to teach the clones how to pain and Dogma loves it. Dogma would also love Chase and not at all because they would talk about da rules, no no, I think they have that somewhat in common but Dogma would more find comfort in the fact that Chase isn’t very spontaneous, he’s calculated, trustworthy and likes to do things step by step and I think Dogma would vibe with that.

When Danny cooks everyone crys except Sinker because he will eat anything, I think he would also eat the expired bunker spam on purpose.

Oddball and the other pilots help Blades be less afraid of flying and teaching him different maneuvers.

The 501st getting lost in the tunnel system and accidentally end up walking all the way over to dinosaur island and get to see cool crystals and almost get eaten by the dinosaurs. Hardcase when he finds out the crystals are highly flammable: *explosion thoughts intensity*

Heatwave and Wolffe would get into a snark off contest.

I fell Alpha-17 might enjoy the trails that run through Griffin Rocks wilderness. He would maybe make friends with the local black bear population on accident because he didn’t know what they were and that they were not friendly and he walked into one on a hike and he was like🧍damn that’s a big ass dog, a funny looking fellow really, ay buddy do you want this cliff bar? And the bear is like 🧍wtf is this guy doing, should I eat him? But eventually 17 and the bear are buddies and he brings the bear back and is like “hey chief check out the dog I found “ and chief is like “how many times do I have to tell everyone no dogs-👁👄👁”

Wooley,soup, and toast would be fascinated with the bakery

They all participate in the Burn family tradition of game night weather they like it or not

Kix, Fives, Hardcase, Jesse, Hevy, Boost, Gree, Oddball, Gregor, Neyo, Thorn and Barcara would participate in helping test doc Greens weird little machines

Every Friday is disco and karaoke night at one of the local bars and they all go out and party. They also like going to the roller skating rink where they can also jam to 2011 type pop.

Rex, Monnk and Ponds enjoy chief Burns company and like going fishing with him and going out on the boat.

Pls I could go on and on but please feel free to add onto this, Griffin Rock is already so god damn weird so the sky is the limit go crazy

I know this is very much a crack au but It makes me so sad when the clones suffer and they deserve to be happy damn it, I apologize to my many followers who have no idea what the hell im talking about.

[serendipitous-magic]

Luke and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad 72 Hours

Imagine you’re a 19 year old working on a farm, and one day you buy some new animals from traveling merchants to help out around the farm - let’s say a goat and an ostrich. You’re cleaning them and getting them ready to work when you notice that the goat has a message tied around its neck. It sounds like the message might be intended for the kooky old guy who lives by himself out in the wilderness. You’ve met the guy a few times, you might even consider him a friend, but he’s mostly a mystery. You ask your uncle if he knows anything about it, but first he denies any knowledge and then he says the intended recipient of the message knew your dead father, and then he abruptly tells you to forget all about it.

Okay, weird???

That night, the goat runs away. The ostrich is freaking out about it. You go after it with the ostrich the next morning and find it making its way towards the old hermit’s house, but you’re attacked by a local gang and knocked tf out. When you wake up, the old hermit is there, and he takes you back to his place and drops the bomb on you that apparently your dead dad wasn’t who your family told you he was?? Apparently he wasn’t a navigator on a fishing boat, he was a pilot and a samurai warrior, and he was fucking murked by his samurai buddy??? And while that earth-shattering revelation is still fresh in your mind, Hermit Dude reads the rest of the Goat Message. Apparently it’s from a princess, and she’s asking Hermit Dude for help in a massive civil war that’s been going on. She says this goat is a Very Important Goat, and it’s carrying information that’s essential to the war effort that could restore prosperity to the entire world.

Hermit Dude then immediately sits back, looks you in the eye and without preamble says, “You’re going to have to learn how to be a samurai warrior if you’re gonna come with me to the big city and help this chick and save the war effort.” And you’re like “??? learn?? to be a samurai?? Big city?? What in the frick frack paddywack are you babbling about? Listen dude I got shit to do, I can’t just go off on this wild goat chase. But look, if it means so much to you I’ll give you a lift to the nearest town so you can go on your own.”

But on the way to town, you come across those traveling merchants you bought the goat and ostrich from - all dead, their caravan trashed. “This wasn’t the gang,” Hermit Dude says, “The government did this, and made it look like it was gang activity. They were looking for your Goat Message.” You race back home, only to find the smoldering remains of your farm, and the charred skeletons of your family laid out on the doorstep.

With nothing to do, nowhere else to call home, and a newfound revenge-driven fury in your chest, you return to Hermit Dude and say, “Make me a samurai like my apparently-murdered father, yo-yo master Hermit Dude. I’ll go help the war effort with you like the princess asked.”

So you all head off to this shady-ass small town run by crime lords. The government is already there, looking for the goat, and Hermit Dude hypnotizes these two military guys like it’s no big deal, sooooo apparently he can just do that? Okay, neat, neat, neat. Hermit Dude then chops somebody’s fucking arm off right in front of you in a bar fight (what the fuck), and long story short you end up selling your car so you can hitch a clandestine ride to the Big City in this fast-talking cowboy’s RV, which looks like it’s held together with spit and duct tape. Cowboy Guy’s best friend is this 7-foot-tall dude with so much hair and beard that he could probably hide weapons in it. The military arrives and you barely make it out of the parking garage, and you end up in a fucking car chase before you make it to the highway and get the hell outta dodge.

BUT THEN you finally arrive at the Big City, and it’s gone. There’s nothing there, just the ruined wasteland of nuclear rubble where the government dropped the bomb (which by the way was JUST invented). And as far as you know that’s??? Never happened before?? So, that’s terrifying. (Also keep in mind your home was razed and your family was brutally murdered like less than 24 hours ago so THAT’S still fresh.)

There’s one little government truck that sees you and takes off. Cowboy is like “Let’s shoot their tires out before they go report to somebody,” but there isn’t anybody around to report to. EXCEPT FOR THE CITY-SIZED BATTLE STATION ON WHEELS THAT ABDUCTS YOU, RV AND ALL. What the fuck is this? Since when did this exist??? They pull the RV into their parking garage, but you hide under the floor panels, surprise-attack some soldiers and steal their uniforms. You sneak into a control room, hoping to shut down the station’s power and escape, but while Hermit Dude goes to cut some power cords, you notice some records lying around. And, hey, what’s this? The princess that wrote the Goat Message? She’s here on Massive Battle Station? SCHEDULED TO BE EXECUTED??? Well, of course you can’t let that happen! Cowboy is grumpy about it but you manage to convince him.

Using your military disguises, you manage to find and save the princess from her cell, almost get crushed to death in a trash compactor while escaping from the prison section, and arrive back at the parking garage pursued by hordes of soldiers - only to witness Hermit Dude, your only remaining link to your home and your old life, get sliced in actual half right in front of you. 

There’s another one for Trauma Bingo!

(P.S. you’ve also now killed several government soldiers in your escape. You’ve now killed people. You’re a killer.)

You manage to escape in the Duct Tape RV with Cowboy, Beard, Princess, Ostrich and Goat, but you’re followed by some government cars. You climb up on the roof to engage in an at-speed shootout with them, because after the last 36 hours, this is the least weird thing you’ve done. Firefight with government forces? Yeah, sure, what the hell. No big deal, honestly.

So now not only are you family-less and homeless, but you’re DEFINITELY on some sort of government list of known criminals. Guess there’s no going back now; you’re part of the rebels whether you want to be or not! Thankfully you’ve still got that grief-driven justice quest going on, doubly compounded by witnessing the murder of your mentor.

The RV makes it to the secret base where the rebels have been hiding. The Very Important Goat is finally delivered, and it coughs up plans for the gigantic battle station. So far, so good. Except, curses! The government tracked you here! Looks like the fight happens now. Game on, jackass government. Game on. “That’s impossible!” cries one pilot, to which you reply, “Nah, I basically did it all the time back home.” You sign up to fight: a pilot, like your dead samurai dad. 

Why was a 19 year old civilian with some bush-plane experience (??) allowed to sign up to fly a fighter plane? We’ll never know.

Also, the goat comes on the plane with you.

Cowboy collects his payment and takes off, which you’re not happy about, but at least you’re reunited with your BFF from back home. So at least you have one single connection to home left.

Until he dies. RIP.

You try blowing up the Enormous Battle Station the normal way, but the disembodied spirit of Hermit Dude appears in your head and tells you to use your Magical Samurai Powers. You do, and succeed in blowing up the Big-Ass Battle Station just as Cowboy arrives again to take out the Big Baddie who killed Hermit Dude. The Traveling Nuke Factory is destroyed, the evil government has taken a big blow, and you get a shiny medal in a ceremony with your new friends.

So, let’s recap. In the last, oh, 2.5 days or so, you’ve gone from living your everyday life to seeing everything you know and love destroyed, to becoming a traitor to the evil government and a rebel, to fighting in (and winning) an intense military battle thanks to your fledgling Magic Powers, to now being the poster child of the rebellion.

You need therapy.

But at least the goat’s okay.

[musicallisto]

Hi! Could you pls do a Harry Potter ship for me? Preferably from next gen era? I’m a heterosexual girl.

I’m a bookish Ravenpuff and have always been on the top of my class. However, I’m definitely an overachiever and along with my studies, I always have sports practice and I’d definitely be one of the best on the quidditch team. I also play guitar. I’m rather short and it can easily upset me when someone points it out but I’m sure to make a snide remark back at them. I absolutely love art and drawing and sketching is my favorite past times. I adore kidssss and would definitely date someon and joke around that I’m dating them only for spending more time with their younger sibling(s). I can get easily flustered but love teasing and flirting around someone I like. I would usually never admit my feelings cuz I’m too stubborn but we’d argue and compete and I’d add some flirting just to show that I enjoy the person’s company and to hint that I want something more. I also am very much obsessed with one direction and Taylor Swift and boybands and no boyfriend of mine would be loved more than I love 1d and Tay tho. I can also do the splits and love learning the most random things like juggling 🤹‍♀️ and solving Rubik’s cubes (so far I know how to solve six). Also I don’t swear unless I’m extreme angry and am overall just a smart, innocent and naive girl lol.

Ahh can’t wait to see what you come up with!

hi steph! here’s your vanilla milkshake, i hope you like it! also, you sound like a lot of fun in person, lol. i’m exactly the same way when it comes to being flustered/teasing around someone i like, but then everything that comes out of my mouth sounds like i’m flirting except that’s just,,, how i talk normally lmfao. anyway, this is not the topic. the topic today is your relationship with the formidable james sirius potter...

It’s a good thing that you love spending time with kids so much, because the Potter family is one close-knit entity, and you will spend quite some time hanging out with Albus and Lily when you’re visiting James.

(He’s relatively annoyed by it the first time he invites you to spend the holiday break at his place. He doesn’t need his lame little brother and obnoxious little sister embarrassing him in front of this girl he likes.)

(Bear with him, he’s probably like a fourteen-year-old boy in this scenario.)

But it’s quite the opposite, actually; you gape in awe at how supportive and loving the whole Potter family is. It’s probably a little bit of the Weasley in them.

And the younger siblings are a lot of fun, so you oftentimes tease James and tell him that his lame little brother and obnoxious little sister are actually much cooler than he is.

He’s terrified that you might actually mean it, though. How could you? How could they?? He’s cool and he’s got swagger (he has used the word swagger at some point he is gen z), this is a criminal offense.

No, really, it’s so much fun teasing James Sirius Potter.

Mostly because he’s a prankster himself - following a long line of mischief evidenced by his namesakes -, so he’s always down for stirring up some stuff with you...

... but you’ve got him so wrapped around your finger that he takes every little thing you tell him so personally, but not in the actually offended way, more like, “shut up Albus is not cooler than me” “yes he is” “NO HE ISN’T” way. And it’s so funny to see him get all up in arms about something as trivial as that.

He should have the genes to understand that the harder he tries to protest, the longer you will continue with the teasing, because it’s one of the funniest things in the world, but hey. For all their “effortless charm” and “dashing good looks” (his words not yours), both his dad and grandpa went completely dumb whenever a pretty girl approached them, so you can’t really blame him.

On another note, he’s totally enraptured by how smart you are.

It’s not enough that you’re top of the class in almost every single subject - you’re also good at Muggle stuff too? Come on, that’s unfair. No wizard in the history of ever had the patience to try their hand at Rubik’s cubes.

And he’s guilty of it, too - he tried to solve one to impress you one day, he really did, and got as far as completing an entire side... until he got lazy and frustrated and magically finished it with a flick of his wand.

(He could have lied and told you he did it all with his brain, but Albus was in the common room when that happened, and would never let him hear the end of it.)

(At least you laughed when Albus told the epic story of his complete failure. Maybe you were onto something when you said he was cooler than him.)

Also, SO MUCH QUIDDITCH RIVALRY!

James is a jock and that’s a straight-up fact. He has a legacy to uphold, you know? (or so he tries to justify. but he does love team sports and the speed and thrill of the chase.)

but when there’s a Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff and Gryffindor match? oh, boy, are the stakes high.

There’s no actual tension between the two of you before the game or on the field, but. so. many. snide. remarks.

All’s fair in love and war - and all’s fair in Quidditch to destabilize your opponent. Throw them off their game. Maybe even their broom.

And you’re both masters at finding the little comment that will help you secure the win.

“Ha! How does it feel to lose again?”

“Oh my god, Harry Styles is so dreamy. Don’t you think?”

“Wait, what-”

The Snitch flies past him.

Right between your fingers?

“Pfft. You’re not even a challenge.”

Curse you and all your wits and boybands.

Oh, but next time you will get what’s coming, and that’s a promise.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

[lucky-katebishop]

What I Read in July 2021

Oh, man, this is gonna be a long post. I bookmarked 33 fics, all of them Harry Potter related, with a few cross-overs.

Forget-Me-Not by Lomonaaeron *favorite*

Plot: Harry isn’t the Boy-Who-Lived, but his parents still died, and Albus Dumbledore, concerned that Death Eaters might seek the boy’s death, cast a powerful charm on him to make wizards ignore him before Harry was left with the Dursleys. Except, with the Elder Wand in play, the charm was far too powerful, and made others essentially forget Harry existed when not directly interacting with him. Sorted into Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, Harry lives a contented life with no one either loving or hating him…until the charm breaks on his seventeenth birthday, and he’s suddenly plunged directly into the middle of a living world at war.

Characters: Harry, Theo Nott, Dumbledore, Neville, Ollivander, Lupin, Rabastan Lestrange, Ron, Hermione, Draco, original non-human characters, Peter Pettigrew, Umbridge

Relationships: Harry Potter/Theo Nott

Warnings: none apply

Tags: ancient runes, socially awkward Harry Potter, Ravenclaw Harry Potter, Harry Potter is not the boy-who-lived, angst, romance, horcruxes, muggleborn registration commission, blood magic

My Notes: I inhaled this in one sitting and then cried for like 10 minutes afterwards, it’s so beautifully written, it became an instant favorite

*complete*

He Turned Around by ChipOfftheOldSoul *favorite*

Plot: When the Goblet of Fire spit out Harry's name that Halloween night, he was told to join the other champions. Instead, he turned around and walked away.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Victor Krum, Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Fred & George, Marcus Flint, Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis

Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter; Harry Potter & Severus Snape; Draco Malfoy & Severus Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, mentioned homophobia

Tags: book 4, good Severus Snape, good Draco Malfoy, good Slytherins, smart Harry Potter, Dumbledore bashing, manipulative Dumbledore, past child abuse, runes, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Slytherin Harry Potter, Hogwarts House re-sort, no Ron bashing but he’s not great for a while

My Notes: I’ve already read this twice in less than a week period and I cannot wait until it’s updated (hopefully it’ll be updated) and I absolutely love the way it’s written and Harry’s characterization. I also very much appreciate that there won’t be Ron bashing, I’ve read too many Ron bashing fics, but I am here for all of the Dumbledore bashing!

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

Stars by LilyIsAwesomerThanYou

Plot: When Snape discovers Harry's abusive past during an Occlumency lesson, Harry panics. Snape is forced to take care of him in the aftermath. Mentor/guardian fic. As always, no slash.

Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, depression

Tags: Severitus, angst, drama, past abuse, hurt/comfort, mentor Snape, guardian Snape, occlumency

My Notes: Snape is a dick in this one, and so far he has not gotten any better, just a warning, but there’s some great Harry angst going on here (that’s why I bookmarked it). Yeah, Snape is pretty evil in this one, there’s some victim blaming and just straight up verbal abuse from him.

*incomplete* [last updated 2018]

violet hill by rejectedreality

Plot: Where Harriet Potter is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes’ soulmate.

Fandoms: Harry Potter & MCU

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Harry Potter, Steve Rogers, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Harry Potter; Steve Rogers/Harry Potter; Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers; Bucky/Steve/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse

Tags: fem!Harry Potter, soulmate-identifying marks, age difference, angst with a happy ending, it gets worse before it gets better

My Notes: this is so, so, so fucking beautiful! I am straight up in love with this fic, and I am so sad that it hasn’t been updated for a few years because there was so much potential. There are some hints at underage couples, as Harry’s 15 while Bucky and Steve are adults, but nothing actually happens.

*incomplete* [last updated 2017]

trapped in a blue haze by MourningElegance

Plot: “And in that moment, Draco knows. He knows that all his deep-rooted suspicions about Harry’s childhood are terribly, horribly true.” As their relationship grows, so do Draco’s misgivings about Harry’s past.

Rating: Explicit!!!

Characters: Harry, Draco

Relationships: Harry/Draco

Warnings: explicit sexual content, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: established relationship, smut, porn with plot, explicit sexual content, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, cuddling, post-war, post-Hogwarts, auror Harry Potter, POV Draco, character study, sickfic, epilogue what epilogue, injury

*complete*

From the Dungeons by huntersg1rl

Plot: One conversation goes slightly differently. How much does it change? Features a caring Snape, supportive Malfoys, strong friendships, and Slytherin Harry.

Characters: Harry, Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Snape, Narcissa, Lucius, Sirius, Remus, Pomfrey, Dumbledore

Relationships: pre-Harry/Draco; Severus Snape & Harry Potter

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry Potter, Good Severus Snape, good Lucius Malfoy, good Narcissa Malfoy, manipulative Dumbledore, POC Harry, animagus transformation, wizengamot, politics and culture

My Notes: YA’LL! This one is so cool! It’s going under some major maintenance at the moment, so it’ll be a bit of a wait until it gets going again but I recommend reading it immediately before the changes get enacted. I don’t want to spoil anything, but Harry’s a BAMF in this series, especially when we get to book 3

*incomplete* [this is a series, first three parts are completed, last updated February 2021]

Fighting for Freedom by dreamsofmermaids

Plot: At the end of a horrific fourth year, Harry overhears something on the train back to London that sets in motion a series of events that will reveal truths, change decisions, and send Harry on a path to true freedom. But nothing comes without a fight.

Fandoms: Harry Potter & Criminal Minds

Characters: Harry, Snape, Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon, Emily Prentiss, Sirius Black, Voldemort

Relationships: to be announced (I know, I’m sorry, I hate this too)

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, major character death, attempted sexual assault, implied/referenced child abuse, suicide attempt, kidnapping

Tags: Dumbledore bashing, Weasley bashing, Hermione bashing, Harry runs away, Snape bashing, not so evil Voldemort, trouble magnet!Harry

My Notes: this one is really good and it features a Harry and Dobby friendship. I’m gonna spoil it right now, Hotchner is Harry’s dad, I hate it when it doesn’t state it in the tags

*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]

From Grace by silver_fish *favorite*

Plot: From the top of the Astronomy Tower, the stars always look brighter. Funny, how Harry can’t seem to find them at all anymore.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted suicide

Tags: set during Ootp, insomnia, nightmares, teenage angst, emotional hurt/comfort

*complete*

A Beautiful Lie by Panis_fluvium

Plot: Harry receives his letter while the Dursley's are on vacation. Harry takes it upon himself to find out if the letters he receives are true or if someone is playing a massive joke on him. What happens when he journey's to Diagon Alley alone? What happens when he finally gets to school? Will he finally fit in? Will he finally escape the abuse?

Characters: Harry, Draco, Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Blaise, Pansy, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Draco/Harry; Pansy/Blaise; Snape/?

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Severitus, Slytherin Harry, bullying, shy Harry, slight Ron bashing, fairly good Voldie, misunderstood darkside, manipulative Dumbledore

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

The heir of something or other by diregewithoutmusic

Plot: When kids in the Slytherin Common Room tossed jeers at the pudgy feet of Millicent Bulstrode, Harry rose up to do something about it. This Harry, now one of Snape’s own, got fewer House points lost but many more detentions– it had never been the colors on his hem that Severus hated. This was not wishing Harry an easy path. This was not wishing the boy a warm House. This was Harry, three weeks in, sleep deprived and considering running away and going back to Privet Drive. This was Harry in the back of Potions class, blank-faced under Snape’s disdain the way he’d perfected under the Dursleys’s torments. When Quirrell shouted “troll in the dungeons, thought you ought to know,” and Harry overheard that there was a girl in the bathroom crying, he still ran off to make sure she got out okay. He hesitated first, at the back of the little pack of Slytherin first years (at the back so that no one could get behind him)– he hesitated. And Millicent Bulstrode, who could never quite keep her tummy tucked in enough, could never brush all the cat hair off her robes, never quite keep her temper in check, hesitated, too.

Characters: Harry, Millicent, Colin Creevey, Hermione, Dennis Creevey, Luna, Ron, Draco, Astoria, Daphne, Pansy, Neville, Susan Bones

Relationships: gen

Warnings: major character death

Tags: Slytherin Harry, canon typical violence

My Notes: this made me cry. It like actually made me cry. I don’t cry when I read fanfiction, but this one actually made me cry, it’s been two weeks and I still feel like crying thinking about this fic, but that being said it’s written so beautifully.

*complete*

Conditionally by Lomonaaeren

Plot: Harry finds out that he's Snape's son. It goes as badly as possible.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Seamus, Umbridge, Rita, Neville, Voldemort

Relationships: minor Lily/Snape; Harry & Snape; Hermione & Ron & Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, suicidal thoughts, minor character death

Tags: Severitus, present tense, powerful Harry, Snape is Harry’s biological father, unhealthy coping mechanisms, independent Harry

My Notes: wow this one made me so mad for Harry. Sirius and Remus are not Harry’s friends, nor Dumbledore. Be warned, as good as this fic is, you will be very angry at all the adults in this fic. Snape isn’t a loving father type, and their relationship isn’t the greatest but it’s better than nothing by the end.

*complete*

Harry Potter and the Secrets Within by WhoWroteThis

Plot: Harry Potter is a very special, but very abused little boy. When a giant drags him into a world unknown, he'll need all the help he can get to understand his newfound belonging. Lucky for him, he has a snake, a dragon, and a horde of protective allies on his side.

Characters: Harry, original animal characters, Snape, Draco, Lucius and Narcissa, Portrait Salazar Slytherin, Basilisk, Blaise, Hogwarts ghosts, Quirrell, Voldemort

Relationships: Harry & Voldemort; Harry & Draco; Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, implied/referenced alcohol abuse, suicide threats and thoughts

Tags: Harry Potter needs a hug, parseltongue, Harry Potter has a pet snake, powerful Harry, metamorphmagus Harry, good Malfoy family, Slytherin Harry, slow burn, Slytherin politics, Hagrid bashing, Hermione bashing, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, rituals, centaurs, dragons, cats, snakes

My Notes: I will literally never be trustworthy of the basilisk after reading Antithesis but I have to admit the basilisk in this fic is pretty great

*incomplete* [last updated August 2021]

The Tainted Blood of the Father by StarLight_Massacre *favorite*

Fandoms: Supernatural & Harry Potter

Plot: Harry has broken away from his chains after the Dursleys go too far. A simple desire to make a withdrawal from Gringotts leads to something much larger and exposes more than he ever knew about himself. A rushed, impulsive trip to America changes his entire life as he might have just found himself a true family to call his own.

Characters: Harry, John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted sexual assault

Tags: Awkward Winchesters trying to deal with Harry, cinnamon roll Harry

My Notes: The dynamic between Harry and the Winchesters shouldn’t work this well, but they absolutely do. Harry is a little Sam, he acts so much like him it’s so cute and everyone finds it so cute. Really great amount of angst and hurt/comfort. Doesn’t deal with the wizard side of things that much but I expect that’ll change in the upcoming chapters. Author has stated they don’t know if the Winchesters ever will find out that Harry’s a wizard, however, so keep that in mind

*incomplete* [last updated April 2021]

On a Pale Horse by Hyliian

Plot: When Dumbledore tried to summon a hero from another world to deal with their Dark Lord problem, this probably wasn't what he had in mind.

Characters: Harry, Death, Dumbledore, Hermione, Remus, Voldemort, Ron

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: none

Tags: master of death Harry, dimension travel, summoning rituals gone horribly wrong, godlike Harry, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, does major character death count as a tag when the major character is Death?

My Notes: so absolutely creepy, I love it so much, our Harry is not really all that much like Harry at all because he’s an immortal eldritch being of horror

*incomplete* [last updated 2018]

tell me whether he is dead by LullabyKnell *favorite*

Plot: Harry suffers a few side-effects of dying but not dying. “Hey, can someone help me with this? The mirror in the bedroom’s stopped working for me. “What do you mean ‘the mirror’s stopped working’?”

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Harry/Ron/Hermione

Warnings: none

Tags: post-canon, epilogue what epilogue, post-battle of Hogwarts, post-Deathly Hallows, haunting, implied/referenced character death, gen or pre-slash, fluff and angst, oblivious Harry, master of death Harry

My Notes: so fucking brilliant, this author literally never misses, the relationship between the golden trio is so fucking cute and I love them so much

*complete*

A New Place to Stay by DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan *favorite*

Plot: Harry Potter is called up to Dumbledore's office and told he was being moved elsewhere to keep him safe. He no longer has to stay at the Dursley's, but Dumbledore tells him he has to stay with Severus Snape. For a few days it seemed like a bad idea. Until Severus Snape uncovers the truth of who Harry Potter really is and what he's been through. Watch as Severus does as nobody else has done before him. He takes care of Harry. Watch him flourish into who he was meant to be, a boy with the heart of a Gryffindor and smarts of a Slytherin. The Dursley's, Umbridge and Dumbledore had better watch out Severus is out for revenge. Spy or no spy, Severus is not allowing anyone away with hurting Harry.

Characters: Snape, Harry, Dumbledore, Neville, Luna, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Severitus

My Notes: I’ve read so many of these types of fics that even though this is more than 300k words I can’t remember a single thing about this but it must’ve been good because I labelled it as favorite, so

*complete*

Silver Lining by BloodyRed_Queen

Plot: Harry has a disastrous Summer with the Dursleys and is brought to Hogwarts early. In order to protect him, drastic measures are taken and Harry finds himself living with one Severus Snape.

Characters: Harry, Blaise, Draco, Snape

Relationships: Harry/Blaise; Harry & Snape

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: animagus, father-son relationship, severitus, Snape adopts Harry, good Slytherins, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, therapy, manipulative Dumbledore

*complete*

truth’s like blood underneath your fingernails by Choices_We_Make, questionsthemselves

Plot: "Slytherin would do well, help you on the path to greatness," the hat seems to be coaxing him, but for something that can read his mind, it sure doesn't seem to know him very well. Harry doesn't want greatness. He doesn't need his name in lights and on everyone's lips. He wants meals, hot ones, whenever he wants, with people that he likes and that like him. Friends he can have adventures with, huddle under the blankets with at night and laugh with. People who might think… think he's worth something. In which Harry is sorted into Slytherin, and Snape deals with the fallout.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Theo, Blaise

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry, Severitus sort of, angst with a sort of hopeful ending, Snape discovers abuse

*complete* [part of a series, incomplete but first two parts are finished, last updated 2018]

Harry Potter and the Immortal’s Playground by May_May_o_o

Fandoms: MCU & Harry Potter

Plot: Living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be. Harry Potter learns the meaning of immortality when everyone he loves dies again and again after becoming the master of death. After millennia of love lost, Death sends him to "Elsewhere" in order to give his master something new and different. Harry emerges from ash in New Asgard. What's a man like Thor to do but offer the traveler a home?

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Death, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint, Natasha, Loki, Thor, Bruce, May Parker

Relationships: Harry/Ginny; Thor/Harry; Harry & Avengers

Warnings: PTSD, suicide attempts

Tags: master of death Harry, magically powerful Harry, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, post-snap

My Notes: I don’t usually like Harry paired with any of the Avengers other than Peter, but Thor and Harry are so soft and written beautifully, I love this author so much

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

Another Mind Game by May_May_o_o *favorite*

Plot: Harry’s occlumency reveals his disturbing home life which sets off a chain reaction that cannot be undone. Snape finds himself begrudgingly caring about the bespectacled boy, Harry discovers what it's like to have adults who care, and Hermione finds herself becoming an accidental crime lord. Draco Malfoy is very much along for the ride, in all senses of the word. A ridiculous blend of hilarity and tragedy, Another Mind Game is the multi-faceted fanfiction you didn't know you wanted but will absolutely adore. Featuring a sassy Harry Potter, good friends, and a great deal of sarcasm.

Characters: Harry, Neville, Hermione, George, Fred, Snape, Ron, Luna, McGonagall, Dumbledore, house elves

Relationships: Draco/Harry; Hermione/Ron; Snape & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; presumed suicidal (it makes sense when you read it)

Tags: mentor Snape, strong Harry, sassy Harry, slow burn, fluff and angst, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, Snape adopts Harry, protective Hogwarts, magically powerful Harry

My Notes: favorite, absolute favorite, read it three times already and it’s only been three weeks! The endnotes are so funny and add a lot of levity to the story

*complete* (unfortunately, I wish I could read more)

Not Just Pretty Words by LullabyKnell

Fandoms: Harry Potter & The Addams Family

Plot: On an unexpected holiday to America, Harry Potter meets a strange girl at a zoo, finds out that he's a witch, steals a snake, and is cordially invited to the Addams mansion for dinner.

Characters: Harry, Wednesday, Morticia, Gomez

Relationships: Gen; Addams Family & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Harry needs a hug, worldbuilding, happy ending, found family, light angst

*complete*

Bruised Words by starknjarvis

Plot: After Harry blows up Aunt Marge, Dumbledore decides it's not safe for Harry to spend the rest of the summer at the Leaky Cauldron, and instead sends him to stay at Spinner’s End with Professor Snape. It's tense, awkward, and teeming with misunderstandings...but it might be the best thing that's happened to either of them. They're both been without a family for a very long time.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: traumatized Harry, miscommunications, Snape adopts Harry, sickfic

*complete* [part of series, incomplete, last updated 2020]

The Freak Who Lived by DeviantHufflepuff, Zaharya

Plot: When Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, he is kicked out of Gryffindor Tower by those he thought of as friends. It isn't until Snape finds him that the truth comes out about The Boy Who Lived.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Pomfrey, McGonagall, Viktor Krum, Fleur, Cedric, Draco, Neville, Blaise

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; Harry & Snape; Harry/Blaise

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, PTSD, trauma induced age regression (not intense), suicidal thoughts

Tags: book 4, Severitus, Snape adopts Harry, panic attacks, seer Luna, Harry needs a hug, McGonagall is basically Harry’s mom, manipulative Dumbledore but he’s not evil, big brother Draco

My Notes: Snape is pretty cuddly in this one, he’s not shy with feelings and showing Harry that he’s loved which is nice and a nice change from other Severitus fics. Don’t be off-put by the age regression tag, it’s super low-key, there’s only a couple throw-away lines about it.

*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]

Dudley Dursley’s Most Unexpectedly Fortunate Flower by aTasteofCaramell

Plot: Dudley Dursley is leading a perfectly normal life, his contact with his odd cousin limited to Christmas cards and peculiar memories. Until his daughter sneezes and sets the curtains on fire.

Characters: Harry, Dudley, Dudley’s children, Petunia and Vernon Dursley

Relationships: Dudley & Harry; Harry/Ginny

Warnings: none

Tags: humor, Dudley has a magical child, redeemed Dudley, post-series, Petunia and Vernon still suck, Harry Potter Next Generation

*complete*

Unexpected Consequences by Siebenschlaefer

Plot: The Ministry letter after the Dementor attack has far greater consequences than everybody could have anticipated and at the start of his fifth year in Hogwarts Harry has to be sorted again. And this time there is no negotiating with the Sorting Hat.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Dumbledore, Hermione, Sirius, Lupin, Blaise, Ron

Relationships: Snape & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry, resorting

*incomplete* [last updated March 2021]

Stinging Nettle and Milking Pails by Oceanbreeze7 *favorite*

Plot: Are you a witch or / Are you a fairy? / Or are you the wife / of Michael Cleary? “The fairies will do wicked things sometimes,” Harry murmured gently, “Steal the milk when they get a chance, or skim the cream off the milk crocks.” “Do they ever steal anything more?” Luna asked him rhetorically. Harry couldn’t answer.

Characters: Harry, Luna, James, Lily

Warnings: author chose not to use warnings

Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Harry has a twin, dark fairy tale elements, fairy tale style, druids, fae and fairies, James and Lily live

My Notes: Oceanbreeze7 should straight up be a horror writer. This is the writer who wrote Antithesis, the fic that I was literally unable to finish because I was too heartbroken, and they did not disappoint with this one! It’s so good! It’s so horrific! It’s so heartbreaking!

*complete*

Sarcasm and Slytherin by orphan_account *favorite*

Plot: After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world. This isn't the Harry you think you know.

Characters: Harry, Theo, Blaise, OMC, Hermione, Ron, Neville, James Potter, Luna, Daphne, Snape, Dumbledore

Relationships: none

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Slytherin Harry, Harry has a twin, Slytherin politics, no pairings before 4th year, potential Dumbledore bashing, James bashing, potential Snape bashing, Draco’s still annoying

My Notes: I’m not sure why it’s now an orphan account or if it will ever be updated, but I’ve seen a lot of people on reddit compare this with Prince of Slytherin (a series I haven’t read because I chose this one over it) so be cautious of that. I straight up want to murder James Potter, though, so that’s a nice thought. I finally finished it! I started this back in early June and I miss it a lot, I spent many hours reading this.

*incomplete* [five parts, last updated 2019]

The ones that seek and find (six years in the relationship of harry and luna) by Terapsina

Plot: By chance of fate Harry Potter meets Luna Lovegood in his second year instead of his fifth. It doesn’t really change anything for the magical world at large but it changes quite a lot for the young witch and wizard themselves. Here are six glimpses into their relationship from the moment they meet until the end of the war.

Characters: Harry, Luna, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Luna/Harry; Harry & Ron & Hermione

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, canonical character death

Tags: fluff and angst, blood quill, angst with a happy ending, no character bashing, epilogue what epilogue

*complete*

Blame it on the Nargles by Pixiestick_cc

Plot: One kiss under the mistletoe changes everything for Harry and Luna.

Characters: Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Lavender Brown, Xenophilius Lovegood, Fred and George, Percy

Relationships: Luna/Harry

Warnings: none

Tags: fluff, romantic friendship, kissing, book 6

My Notes: this one is so cute, I’ve read it five times already, Harry’s able to see the creatures Luna can when he kisses her!

*complete*

Finders, Keepers by Magi_Silverwolf

Plot: “I’m here to kidnap you,” Luna said. “Will you be so kind as to get in this trunk, please?” “I’m fairly certain that kidnappers aren’t supposed to politely ask you to go with them.” “Duly noted,” Luna commented before gesturing to the trunk again. “Get in, Harry. We have a schedule to keep.”

Characters: Harry, Dumbledore, Luna

Relationships: Luna/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: book 5, fairy Luna, werewolf Remus, magically powerful Harry, manipulative Dumbledore

*complete*

Not Right For Him by JJ Rust

Plot: How will Hermione react when she learns Harry and Luna are together?

Characters: Hermione, Luna, Harry

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance, drama

*complete*

The dreamy one by Levi Snowfractal

Plot: Harry finds himself thinking about Luna Lovegood while in detention.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance

*complete*

She Made Him Feel Silly by ArtemisRoseShadow

Plot: The hero usually fell in love with the ever-so-loved princess. It still felt like that to Harry.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance, drama

*complete*

Oh thank god I finished that, that took three hours. Alright check out more of my recs, I have more! Thanks for reading, let me know if you read any of them :)

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART TWO OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC BOOK THAT TASTES LIKE MARVEL.

You know when you are reading a book and you feel like the story you are reading seems familiar but not really within the context you are reading it at the moment? If you can’t shake the wrong sense of familiarity you search for what it probably the biggest give away, the author.

Here it’s something like that; I have read other pieces of Chip Zdarsky’s work, namely Daredevil. While I could tell you the familiarity is there, in the subject of guilt after taking the life of another person, the reality is that this book doesn’t taste like Daredevil, it tastes like Marvel.

That can be either an excellent thing (because Marvel has amazing books) or something terrible (because DC isn’t Marvel and they don’t work the same way).

As of now I can’t really tell if this Red Hood story is going to be one or the other, but I can tell you that it feels out of place in the DC universe, or at least that’s how I see it. I will explore this particular thought later, I just thought this was a nice way to open this post.

If you would like to read the first post I made about this book I will leave the link here!

Now…let’s begin.

Part two picks up exactly where part one left off, we see Jason calling Oracle so she can bring the police to the place where Jason killed Andy a.ka. that gigantic piece of shit.

Jason is having some thoughts, ones that I think are important.

“I have taken lives before, a lot of them. I have killed guys knowing nothing about them except that they had guns and murder in their hearts. Those ones are easy; I don’t have to think of their mothers getting the news or of kids being...”

Jason is troubled. He is now in front of a reality that he never truly thought about but to be honest with you I strongly believe that nobody in the DC universe thinks beyond what happens in front of them, that’s just how fictional comic worlds are designed.

Anyway, there is a little something that bothers me in this inner monologue of his, like since when have “murderers” been Jason’s actual target? Like Joker was his target but he didn’t kill him, the base of Jason’s morals when it comes to killing has always been drugs, most importantly if you sell drugs to kids. So unless he is saying “murderers” because they were selling drugs that caused people (especially kids) to overdose then I don’t really get what is going on.

Another thing that I also talked about in the first post is that Jason hasn’t killed in a very long time, this man has been sticking to the Bats rule for so long that it’s actually unreal. Even when he shot the penguin and Batman proceeded to almost beat Jason to death the penguin hadn’t died. So once again I am thinking that Zdarsky has some info that he is not sharing right now or maybe he just didn’t read Lobdell's run (in which case, can you really blame him?)

Now let me talk about the other part of his monologue “…I don’t have to think of their mothers getting the news or of kids being...��� This is something that I haven’t seen in DC, direct consequences after a hero/vigilante does something, and let me tell you it feels out of place. Is it a good or bad thing? I don’t really know but I have some thoughts on the subject.

I think it's unfair to put a comic character in that situation or dilemma. Jason has basically three reactions to the same situation and they are all valid, but can this situation be handled by a fictional person in a fictional world? Because to be fair I could also ask about the criminals that are put in hospitals after they are beat up by heroes, what if they die in the hospital? Is the hero a killer or does it fall on the hospital? If a criminal cannot pay for the attention given to them in hospitals and they immediately go back to criminal activity to pay for those things, are heroes a good thing? If the Joker bombs a hospital for the third time in four months and Batman does the same thing (take joker to Arkham) only for Joker to escape and do it again, is Batman as guilty as the Joker for the deaths of innocent people or not?

As I wrote it and as I read it again I see that it is a crazy thought because you can simply add more depth to the characters decisions and the consequences that would ensue because of them, but Gotham is a fictional city created to establish that crime is off the charts and that they need Batman because no amount of resources will be able to fix this city’s problems. So putting Jason in this position is new to me…but only in DC (more of this particular thought below).

Going back to the comic in question, I feel like Jason had the answers and the ideas all in his head. In this issue alone he basically says that if the mother does not pull through the boy will be alone, but alone means going into the system (a horrible system that Jason does not trust and needs improvement), but also, Jason recognizes that if the mother died and the father was left alive then that man would have done horrendous stuff. I just simply wouldn't believe that a man that gave drugs to both his wife and son so they wouldn't bother him is just going to change after realizing that his wife died because of him. Even less believable is him becoming an amazing father.

In the big scheme of things, Jason has killed people who fitted very certain characteristics, never innocents (bye, Morrison). What happens after the killing is done? We don’t know because past stories have never focused on that (criminals in comics are by default one dimensional, villains are not)

But here is the thing, Zdarsky is a Marvel writer and Marvel has gone in depth within those situations (like what happens after heroes commit mistakes or kill someone) mostly with Civil War by Mark Millar and more recently in Daredevil written by Chip Zdarsky, but DC hasn't and DC has been plain for a long time, DC doesn't really explain how batman hurts people severely and nothing happens beyond that.

What I am trying to say is that Zdarsky is going for a different and unique route for Jason here but I think the story is out of place in the DC universe.

I promise I am done with those thoughts, they were really difficult to put on paper and to make them make sense, so I apologize if I only confused you, sorry!

Anyway! After the monologue is done we have a flashback where little Jason is being told by his mother to go buy bread (the only thing they can afford) but she is also making him leave so he doesn’t have to be present when Robby (a friend if you ask Jason’s mom, a drug dealer if you ask Jason) comes to the apartment to help her.

Sadly as Jason is leaving Robby is walking up the stairs, now not to copy little Jason but fuck Robby. Jason’s issues with drugs, drug dealing and overdosing is once again shown here but what is also shown is the violence that comes with it. Jason being terrified for himself (and his mother) as Robby pulls a knife on him broke my heart and as he is left there in the corridor to his apartment all we can see is a defeated little boy and that shit hurts a lot.

After that we jump back to the future with none other than Batgod…I mean Batman. Batman is following a man called Sydney and apparently he disappointed Batman because B told him to stop being a criminal, like come on man if I ask nicely or if I break both of your arms you will surely stop, right? Yeah, no.

I feel like I mentioned something about this while my brain decided that DC never usually explains what happens with criminals after they get caught or killed and now here we are. Consequences. Batman scares a man off of working for Scarecrow but the man still needs to work (does he have a family to provide for? We don’t know. Does he do it because it’s the only job he can get? We don’t know.)

This Batman intermission ends up with Oracle telling him that Jason might be in trouble.

So we find ourselves back with Jason and Tyler in his safe house, Zdarsky does not hesitate and first thing he does is give us a couple of very angsty panels.

I love the way it hurts.

Jason honey, my sweet chonky boy…what are you doing?

Well at least I am not the only one asking that because Jason is having a moment to reflect about what has happened, what is happening and what could happen in the future. In this monologue he says the following:

“Dammit, Jason, what the hell are you doing? You can’t take care of this kid! But you can’t put him in the system either! Just waiting for some obsessed militaristic billionaire to adopt him? Dammit. His dad was scum, he hurt Tyler, he hurt his mom. But if Tyler’s mom doesn’t pull through…I just made this kid an orphan. He is my responsibility, he is too young to really see what he’s gone through, he can still be saved…unlike…”

Yeah that’s some really angsty thoughts, he is really going through it and I understand it. He lost his cool after what that horrible human being said he did and killed him and now he has to face the consequences of his actions, he recognizes that if the boy is left truly alone he will have to step up…but here is the thing, does Jason really want that? It seems to me like Jason is deeply against the idea of children working as heroes, and here he is as an adult that is a vigilante with an impressionable child that sees the Red Hood as his hero, I don’t know, it looks like the perfect recipe for a disaster.

But we don’t get to see what Jason does right away because its flashback time.

Jason only moved from his spot in the corridor of his apartment door to get the bread but as Robby comes out of said door Jason is there waiting. Robby teases that he and Jason’s mom ended up sharing the “medicine” and that she will be sleeping for a long time, and that seems to be it for Jason because next thing you know Robby is falling down the stairs.

Aw, shit.

Jason from the future continues his monologue while he remembers what happened on those stairs.

“I never had a chance, not for one second. But he does, Tyler has a chance. I can help him, help him be okay. This doesn’t…what I did…what his parents did, it doesn’t have to define him.”

So Jason wants to make things right for Tyler so he doesn’t become like Jason. Now I don’t truly know what Zdarsky is going for but I will go for the unconscious route, little Jason pushed Robby (that fucker) down the stairs and he was left unconscious there.

In Jason’s eyes Tyler is still a good kid that deserves only the best (like you Jason, please don’t think so low about yourself) and that can be saved from a life of vengeance, justice and trauma. But whatever Jason was going to actually say to Tyler we don’t know because Tyler informs Jason that through the Red Hood mask there is someone telling him that Batman is coming.

Batman appears out of nowhere as he does and starts talking shit.

Honestly Batman what is with that “not my town” bullshit? Baby this isn’t the medieval times, you are not a king and as far as I know not only is Lucius Fox richer than you but so is Dick so sit your ass down and shut the fuck up.

Luckily Jason is giving the outstanding amount of zero fucks and tells Batman exactly what he needs to be told, sadly Jason’s big brain time doesn’t last long because he absolutely loses his cool and starts a fight. So you know what that means, monologue time!

“This was a mistake, but I can’t help myself, he gets under my skin. His sanctimony, he acts like he’s God, all knowing, all seeing when really…he’s just another failed parent.”

Amen. Jason knows many languages but he chose to speak facts.

As the monologue ends Batman is standing over Jason like he is about to murder him but no such thing happens because Tyler, who was quietly watching them fight, jumps in to protect Jason. Yep, there goes my heart, goodbye.

And this is it. The issue ends with Tyler putting an end to the fight and telling batman that he has to leave the Red Hood alone because he is a good guy. Jason of course is thankful and promises that everything is fine.

 I don’t know about you guys but so far I can’t say if I like the book or not. Both parts left me with mixed feelings. I obviously want to see how it ends but I honestly think that there is only one way this story can end with a happy ending, which I think it would be Tyler going back to his mom and Jason somehow working to help her with her drug addiction, maybe even have Dick involved so he can help them economically.

Things that I surely do not want to see are Jason backing down again and limiting himself to the Bats rules. I also absolutely don’t want Zdarsky to go all Geoff Johns on us and make Jason think that he should give up the Red Hood mantle.

Jason really needs to gain his confidence back, he was smart, calculated and strategic and now they have taken those things away to accentuate his “daddy issues” and “inferiority complex”. Why the quotation marks you ask? Oh, because those things are bullshit and there is no room for those things in Jason’s characterization other than to add more angst to the plot.

Let me know how you felt about the issue and my review! Are you excited about what the four next issues are going to bring to the story?

Also if you read Marvel, did this issue taste like Marvel to you too or am I going crazy?

[lassieposting]

Bit late and random but it's the anon you leave food out for here to give away I am also bi and I think exactly the same as you about bi val pretty much, every time Derek offers me representation my reaction is to slowly, hesitantly take it and say "thaaaaaaaaanks..." while rolling my eyes, in much the same way one accepts their least favourite flavour of sweet from an annoyingly enthusiastic uncle-type-individual. Ironically I feel I had more in common with her before the bi shit started up.

What I find really amusing is that Landy actually did reasonably well at representation when (and only when) he wasn’t trying. 

Oh god, this got long, anon, my ass rambled.

tldr; I'm glad actual bi people dislike bi val (or how Laundry handled bi val) as much as me, this will probably offend at least one person but i don't really care, Dirty Laundry wrote better rep when he didn't mean to write rep at all, and if he ever starts trying to "represent" groups I'm part of I'll take him out back like a dying horse and shoot him.

Like, yes. He had stupid and potentially offensive shit - I say potentially because what offends one member of a group won’t necessarily offend all of them. His attitude to mentally ill people is, frankly, disgusting. We’ve had “Skulduggery can’t be abused, he doesn’t have feelings”. We’ve had “eVeRyOnE iS bI eVeNtUaLlY”. We had Ping, who seemed to be pretty much universally offensive. And that's what's always going to happen when a straight, cis, white, wealthy, male author tries to write marginalised groups he doesn't know shit about, because inevitably he's going to fall back on stereotypes.

But we also had:

SEXUALITY REP: Phase One's nonstraight characters were treated like the straight ones, and like, isn't that the whole point? There was no need for a massive Coming Out Story TM to grab for those sweet sweet Woke Points, because sexuality isn't supposed to be important to mages. I never understood why Val needed that whole Coming Out Panic storyline. Like...Des and Melissa are ridiculously supportive, encouraging, loving parents. They accepted you dating a ~19 year old when you were ~16. They accepted you revealing you could do fucking magic and that you'd been lying to them for like seven years. They took your undead buddy in stride and the most pressing question your dad had was whether magic toilets exist. There is zero reason to think that "I'm bisexual" is gonna be the thing that makes them flip and throw you into the streets in disgrace, Valkyrie. Come on.

Tanith had girlfriends and it was just mentioned casually, because it's normal.

China had massive UST with Eliza. That was an opportunity right there to not only include a f/f relationship, but also to bring back one of the few precious surviving characters from Phase One, using characters and a relationship that already had several books' worth of setup and tension and interest from fans.

The Monster Hunters have a casual conversation about which one of the Dead Men they'd date.

Ghastly has a conversation with Fletcher about the pain he's been through being in love. He never uses any pronouns.

It was confirmed at one point re: the Dead Men that at this point, after 300-odd years, everyone's been with everyone else at some point.

Thrasher is gay, and while Scapegrace's...everything...is treated as a joke/comedic relief, Thrasher's love for him isn't. He's completely devoted to Scapegrace, and that in itself is not played for laughs, even though the rest of the scene usually is. Thrasher's description of their first meeting is essentially a love-at-first-sight situation for him.

"ABNORMAL" RELATIONSHIP REP: Age gap relationships are normal for mages. Off the top of my head, using only canon, canon-implied or almost-canon ships:

Ghastly/Tanith (~350 year age difference)

Tanith/Sanguine (~250+ year age difference)

Tanith/Saracen (~350 year age difference)

Caisson/Solace (~250 year age difference)

China/Gordon (~400 year age difference)

Kierre/Temper (~500+ year age difference)

If you include fan ships, there's also things like Mevolent/Serpine or my Mevolent/Vile, which are both ~600 year minimum age gaps based on the timeline, or Valdug (and its variations) which is ~400 years.

Now, whether you consider this kind of rep positive or negative is up to you, but it’s there.

MENTAL ILLNESS REP: more like "Which characters in this series don't have a mental illness or a personality disorder?" I have some of these issues, but not all of them, so this is just how I read it, but:

ADHD: Skulduggery

Dissociative Identity Disorder: Skulduggery & Vile

Dissociation: Skulduggery again, most notably in DD and DB

Schizophrenia (or similar): Valkyrie & Darquesse, Valkyrie "seeing" Darquesse's ghost thing in Phase Two

Impostor Syndrome: Reflectionie

Autism: Clarabelle

Trauma/PTSD/CPTSD: Skulduggery, Valkyrie, China, Ghastly, Erskine...pretty much everyone has a believable, understandable, morally grey trauma response in this series. People struggling with trauma are spoilt for choice of characters to see themselves in.

TRAUMA REP: This series is a trauma conga line, but everyone has a believable, understandable, morally grey trauma response in this series. I see little bits of myself in more than one Phase One character.

Childhood Abuse (of varying degrees & types): Skulduggery, Carol & Crystal, Omen, Fletcher, Ghastly, China, Bliss, Sanguine...

Estranged Family: Skulduggery abandoning his crest, Fergus & Gordon, China & Bliss

Bad Romantic Relationship: Skulduggery is also very clearly an abuse victim. He’s got a solid history of romantic attachments to women who manipulate, use and gaslight him for their own agendas.  There's a whole paragraph in SPX about how Abyssinia broke him down, isolated him from his friends and preyed on his desperate need to be loved, all classic abuse tactics.

And I’m personally a huge fan of this backstory for two reasons:

1) Society likes a plucky victim in media. The "My suffering made me stronger" type of victim. And it's not always like that in real life. Not all survivors come out of their abuse stronger or kinder or more understanding. Some of us come out cold and fucked up. Some of us end up as emotionally stunted, bloodied-nails-and-bared-teeth survivors, broken in ways that can't be fixed and sustained by enough rage to power a small sun. But society doesn't like to tell the story of that kind of survivor, because we're not usually a likeable protagonist. When we're shown in media, we're usually the sympathetic villain, or maybe the antihero. But Skug is someone who's done awful things and lost pretty much all his faith in humanity and been burned more times than he can count, and he still makes the conscious choice to try and be the good guy when he could so easily go Evil Supervillain on the world, and I don't know about any of y'all, but I've modelled myself on him in that. I've made the choice to do something good when all I really want to do is just become a horrible, shrivelled ball of nastiness and revenge. And that's because I saw him do it and realised that I could do that too.

Skug is an incredibly capable, strong, masculine Man's Man. He gets in fights all the time, and he usually wins. He's military, an industry that's Really Bad for stigmatizing weakness and mental illness, and he's right up at the top of the hierarchy. Almost everyone is afraid of him. He's a straight up cold-blooded killer. Skulduggery Pleasant is precisely the type of person who's not normally portrayed as a victim of anything. Nothing about him screams "victim" at all. But his abuse history is insidious. He's so conditioned to respond in a certain way to abuse from the women in his life, probably from a very young age, that despite all that strength and capability and stubbornness and ego, he just goes along with it. And it's an established pattern going back hundreds of years. He keeps going back to China, even though he knows she's bad for him and his friends keep telling him to stay away from her. Abyssinia latched onto him when he was traumatized and vulnerable and weaponized it against him to make him easier to control - and when she reappears, hundreds of years later, she jumps straight back into using, tmanipulating and gaslighting him and not only does he let her, he doesn't even seem to realise that behaviour is abusive. He thinks it's normal! That's how he's always been treated by his long-term girlfriends, with the notable exception of Wifey. Even when Val is being fucking nasty to him in the first couple books of Phase Two, sniping and lying and blaming him for everything under the sun, he just takes it. There's no attempt to tell her she's being unreasonable, no telling her to fuck right off and give her head a wobble, no defending himself even when she's bitching over something that isn't even his doing. And this is a man who has an absolutely gleaming steel spine the rest of the time; Skug has no problem saying no to anybody else, but he can't get past the way he's been taught to treat the important ladies in his life. Skug is a walking reminder that anyone can be a victim of abuse, even the ones who seem least likely to be susceptible.

GENDER REP: This one is the most iffy out of the bunch and definitely was not done very well in the eyes of the people who matter most, but I'll include it anyway because it mattered to some.

So there's Nye, who's...agender? Genderless? And uses "it" pronouns? Nye was generally considered horrible rep because it's also a war criminal and experiments on people and I've seen people say "Well I don't want to be seen like that" but? It's still possible to be a war criminal and also genderless. I never saw the two things as being related or relevant to each other.

There's also Mantis, who's in exactly the same gender/pronouns boat as Nye and always seems to be forgotten about, which sucks because Mantis is a war hero. It fought for the Sanctuary during the War and they never lost a battle when it was in command. It's called out of retirement to fight for the Supreme Council in LSODM, ends up fighting alongside Skulduggery during the Battle of Roarhaven, and ultimately dies attempting a very brave, very risky strategy. Mantis is, unreservedly, one of the good guys. It was also my introduction to sentient beings using "it" pronouns, and did it in a way that felt natural, so when I met my first person online who used "it" pronouns and hated to be referred to as he/she, it was...weird, but not as weird as it would otherwise have been, because I was like, "Oh yeah, like the Crenga. Okay."

And then there's the Scapegrace sex change plotline, which...I might have an unpopular opinion on this one. From what I’ve seen, trans people don’t seem to think was handled well or with any sensitivity at all. I’m not trans, so if the trans community says he was being offensive to them, I’m not going to claim otherwise. But...I first read the Scapegrace plotline as a young teenager in a tiny rural school with zero diversity, going through a period of being deeply confused about my own gender identity. He was more or less my first introduction to the idea that genitals =/= gender. I was relieved, at that point in my life, to read someone having a lot of the same thoughts I was having about being in the wrong body. So while it may have been badly done and yeah, the series would probably have been better without it, it did make at least one kid suspecting she might not be cis go “Huh! So there are other people who feel like this.”

Thrasher is also implied to be legitimately trans/gender-questioning, and that's not played for laughs either.

So? Phase One, while it absolutely had faults and issues and things that were just "Oh god why", was actually full of rep, at least compared to the other series that I read as a child/teen. But? As soon as Dirty Laundry started trying to be woke? He fucking sucks ass at it. Aside from confirming Phase One's hints that Skug has a background of abusive relationships, every single attempt at shoehorning rep into Phase Two is Bad.

The painfully OOC, forced, badly-written awkwardness of Val suddenly being rabidly horny for women out of fucking nowhere. The stilted, forced cringiness between her and any of the women she's flirted with - contrast that with Sorrowscorn's interactions, full of natural chemistry that had us all like 👀 I mean, I never shipped Val/Melancholia, but I could always see why people did - they had miles more chemistry than Val/anyone in Phase Two.

The fucking mess that is v*litsa, because if someone says "I'm really not interested in friendships/relationships right now", clearly the route to true love is to bulldoze their boundaries and forcibly insert yourself into their life and proceed to treat them like a delicate soft uwu flower, completely ignoring the horrible things they've done, while gleefully damning their best friend as an irredeemable monster for the exact same things, which is. You know. Gonna affect your so-called love's self-confidence and self-esteem because she knows she's no different to him. Y'all know I love an angsty ship, an unhealthy ship, a ship with fucked power dynamics, but I literally cannot roll my eyes any further back in my head at this shit. I never read Demon Road, but from what I've heard from friends who did, it does seem like every time Laundry tries to write an f/f ship, he comes up with a cringey abusive/manipulative caricature and tries to call it rep, and he needs to Stop.

Val's Mental IllnessTM arc. It's funny how he wrote Skulduggery as a wonderfully complex character with deep-rooted psychological damage and long-lasting trauma, but believes he wrote a character with "no feelings" - but when he tries to delve into the damage the world of magic has done to Val, he turned her into a weak, whiny drug addict who treats everyone around her like garbage and is so selfish and dislikeable that I? Honestly can't even reconcile Phase Two val with Phase One val. They're two completely different people. He's shown on Twitter that he doesn't have any respect for mentally ill people, and it shows. Other mentally ill people might see it differently, but the whole thing just makes me go "yikes".

Never, who has no personality outside of being genderfluid, and whose pronouns make no sense. I'm sorry, I have never met an nb person who insists that you change from male to female pronouns multiple times in a sentence, every time you refer to them. It's confusing as fuck. Now I have been told that Never has apparently received some character development in the last couple books, and if so, fair play, but I quit reading after Midnight, and Never and the rest of the personality-less new characters introduced in Phase Two who just seemed to be 2D Stereotypes to snag Woke Points were a big part of why, so. Development too late, I'm afraid.

(Now, if anyone is looking for a well-written genderfluid character, I recommend the Tawny Man trilogy by Robin Hobb. I have a lot of issues with her as a writer, and unfortunately I hate her POV character which puts me off the series as a whole, but she wrote the Fool/Amber/Lord Golden and their gender identity/approach to sexuality with so much more respect and realism. That is the kind of rep nb people should be getting: 3D, complex, realistic characters whose gender is only a tiny fragment of their personality, not the be-all-and-end-all of their existence. You know. Like cis people get. Nobody wants to be represented by a 2D cardboard cutout stereotype.)

Anyway idk how much sense this makes it just really amuses me that Laundry would include all this rep completely unintentionally and then go on Twitter and remind us all that actually he's a massive asshole via insensitive/offensive tweets about the groups he'd actually done a fair job of including (i.e. Skulduggery has no feelings, mentally ill people should find another series to read, the bullshit about Val being "heteromantic bisexual" on Twitter and then spouting all the "the woman she loved uwu" shit in the books (proving he has no idea what he's talking about), eVeRyOnE iS bI eVeNtUaLlY. He can only write half-decent rep when he's not trying and he inevitably outs himself as having a really shitty attitude towards those people anyway, proving that ultimately it's all either unintentional rep or performative wokeness.

[kucherovv]

Character Motivations on the DreamSMP

I know I’m an ARG Wilbur account, but analyzing the DreamSMP has always been super interesting to me, so I’m gonna take a crack at it. Here are, from my perspective, the motivations and interests of each plot-relevant character. (PS: analyzing the DreamSMP is just like analyzing the ARG, except a lot less frustrating because we actually know things.)

Tommy: His motivations have always, always, been his friends, most notably Wilbur. Throughout everything, he never left Wilbur’s side despite everything Wil did. He followed L’Manberg because it was Wilbur’s dream, not his. He allows himself to be thrown around a little bit (”When I said you’re never gonna be president..,” The pit) to keep his friendships/his friends safe. Now, his motivation isn’t keeping L’Manberg safe, it’s staying with Tubbo Another interesting view of Tommy’s motivations is his hero complex- He just wants to be seen as the hero, and does everything in his power to do that. Either way, I feel like his motivations are going to be severely tested in the coming days.

Tubbo: I think Tubbo’s motivations are really interesting because there’s two. It used to be Tommy- which makes sense because they’re best friends- but it’s slowly warped to be L’Manberg. I think this mostly changed when Wilbur and Tommy were exiled and Tubbo was left in the Schlatt administration, and he realized that he needs to fight for L’Manberg in order to keep Tommy safe. This then shifted further to just protection of L’Manberg, to the point that now he’s willing to exile Tommy from the country to keep it safe from Dream.

Wilbur: One thing: Power. Everything he’s done has been to get, or keep, power. The Revolution was to have power over Dream in the form of their own country. He tried to rig the election in his favor by preventing everyone else from running to keep power, and when he was exiled he fought for L’Manberg so he could be President again. Even in the end, he blew up L’Manberg because he realized it would never be his again. This is where the “When I said you’re never gonna be President, I meant it.” quote comes back- Wilbur would do everything in his power to keep power over L’Manberg and its citizens- no matter who, or what, he hurts.

Techno: These are some of the most simply motivations on the SMP. Techno wants anarchy. He hates governments and wants to end them all. He joined Wilbur and Tommy because he wanted to take down the government, and ultimately betrayed Tommy in an attempt to end L’Manberg’s government. His motivations might be shifting towards Philza, but I’m not sure.

Philza: I think it’s a bit too early to tell these but I have two ideas. First, safety. Phil wants safety for him, his kids, and his friends. He goes out of his way to rescue people (See: him travelling hundreds of blocks to rescue Ranboo from lava) and performs rash actions to protect people/keep his kids happy (killing Wilbur..?). Another potential motivation is just his kids. He killed Wilbur to keep Wil happy, and wants to bring Wilbur back to life. His whole thing with Ghostbur and with Techno fits into this. His friendship with Fundy kind of does, too. Again, it’s way too early and there’s too little RP with Phil involved to truly tell his motivations.

Dream: Every single war has been caused by Dream. He wants chaos and control. He was the one behind the revolution, the disc wars, and every betrayal of L’Manberg, He even caused the election drama by allowing Schlatt back on the server, and provoked fighting by giving Tommy and Techno gear. Dream wants to be the one who causes chaos, in order to give himself full control over everyone. This recent arc is gonna build on- and potentially destroy- this motivation, as Dream is probably going to lose all of the support of his friends, and Tommy has realized that Dream doesn’t care and just wants to fuck with him.

Sapnap: I would definitely say that at the moment Sapnap is an anarchist with no true side. He has dual citizenship in L’Manberg and the SMP, and, though he might be willing to do things for both of them, he just wants to cause problems and kill peoples pets. Sapnap is literally the cause for the first war when he burned down Ponk’s lemon tree- he literally just wants to cause problems.

George: There are few motivations for George. He just wants peace, honestly, but won’t do anything to stop wars, so he just leaves. At first, he was a loyal, right-hand man to Dream, but became disillusioned with that when he became Quackity’s running-mate, and just stopped caring about anything. He just wants to live peacefully in his cottagecore mushroom house, but he keeps being dragged into things. I think that George just doesn’t really enjoy RPing but they keep writing him in, lol, but I am going to say that his motivations are that he wants to live a quiet life.

Schlatt: He just wanted what he believed is best for Manberg. IMO, he was never really the villain, and was rightfully elected, but no one realized that until Wilbur did. He realized that Wilbur and Tommy were pretty much war criminals who tried to rig the election, so he exiled them because that was what was best for the people, and then gave Tubbo a job so that he didn’t have to worry about leaving. Even the taxes were to improve Manberg. His policies and laws were not always the best, but he was doing everything he could (in his mind) to improve Manberg.

Quackity: Wilbur said that Quackity just wants a kinder, more peaceful world, and that’s definitely true. I tried not to base too much of this on Wilbur’s perceptions but this one is 100% accurate. Quackity ran for President to create a kinder world, and ended up leaving Schlatt to join Tommy and Niki after Vilbur happened. I think Mexican L’Manberg might end up changing this one, but I’m not sure.

Fundy: He just wants a dad. Everything he’s done has been for this, pretty much. Obviously, he followed Wilbur into the Revolution when he was a kid, and then wanted to be like him so he ran for President. After Wilbur’s exile, Fundy saw Schlatt as a kind-of father figure, but still spied for Manberg. The explosion was a wake-up call that made Fundy realize how shitty his dad was, and how much Wil doesn’t care about him. Fundy is unwilling to form a relationship with Ghostbur, instead attempting to be adopted by Eret and getting closer to his Grandfather. He’s realized that Ghostbur does not really remember Fundy for who he was, just that he was Wilbur’s son and Ghostbur should care about him because of that, so Fundy seeks out other people to be his father figures.

Eret: They had a huge swap in their motivation like.. halfway through the story. For the first half, Eret wanted power- so she betrayed L’Manberg. Dream promised him kingship in exchange for the betrayal, and that was all Eret really wanted- until Dream took it away from him. At this point, Eret realized that she really misses her friends, which is when she joined them in Pogtopia. TBH- I don’t really like these motivations and I think Eret’s character would be stronger if they stuck to one side, and at some points I think it was just to be involved in the RP again, but it kind of makes sense I guess.

Niki: First, she cared about Wilbur, joining him in L’Manberg and wanting to stay in Pogtopia with them. However, when Vilbur started, she realized that what she really cares about is L’Manberg, not Wilbur. The big shift could’ve also been when she saw the flag being burned. Either way, she realized that L’Manberg means more to her than Wilbur. 

BadBoyHalo: Bad’s motivations are my favorite. He wants chaos, just like Dream, but he’s planning to do it from the inside. He wants the Badlands to ally with everyone, only to spark infighting and create wars. This is why Sam is always the one to help people- he wants to gain everyones trust so the Badlands can incite chaos. This is an incredible arc and I really hope they go through with it because- unlike Dream- its not expected that they’ll be villains. Also, the speech where Bad explained this was so scary, he’s a great actor and I want to see him and the rest of the Badlands in RPs more.

[beybladefanboy]

Beyblade Seasons Ranked

Here is my personal ranking, from worst to best, of the seasons of Beyblade Metal Fight: Metal Fusion, Metal Masters, Metal Fury, and the awkward spin-off Shogun Steel. Yeah, let’s get into that:

4 Shogun Steel

Honestly even if I did like Shogun Steel for what it is, it would still be at the bottom just by default. It can barely be considered part of the Metal Saga. The main characters in the last three seasons are either absent or reduced to supporting roles in favour of new characters who aren’t nearly as interesting or likeable. It is by definition a spin off. It feels very disjointed from the rest of the series because of these factors along with the lighter tone, the changes to the Beyblade system, and even some continuity errors particularly with Fury. Bringing back Doji again was also the biggest leap in logic this whole series made and feels downright lazy. The whole story just feels like a watered down Fusion with many of the story beats being similar and some characters never growing past mere echoes of the old characters. Some of the bey battles are fun and Ren and Takanosuke are decent characters but there’s a reason this show doesn’t get much attention. It falls into the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy trap of being overly dependent on original series sucker punches for its appeal and not putting as much effort into the new stuff. So as a result, the new stuff, some of which has potential, isn’t as fleshed out as it should be. This show is honestly fine on its own but awful when compared to the Metal Saga and it is comparing itself to the Metal Saga. This show intentionally put itself in the Metal Saga’s shadow and seemed content with being just that: a shadow of greatness.

3 Metal Masters

Okay, this is where I’m gonna start pissing people off. Don’t get me wrong, Masters is great and I don’t think it’s clearly worse than the other two seasons or anything. I think the main three seasons are very close in quality and putting them in any kind of order was incredibly difficult. However, I do think Masters is slightly weaker than Fusion and Fury. First off, it introduces Masamune. I don’t like Masamune. I find his whole “I’m the number 1 blader” shtick incredibly obnoxious and he’s everything I don’t like in real Americans: self absorbed, disloyal, big mouthed, entitled, and just annoying in general. He did have good character development over the course of the season but I personally can’t stand him. The pacing of this season also isn’t the best. With the exception of the Dark Tsubasa arc (which I’ll get to!), the season is just a normal world tournament until they get to America, which I don’t find very interesting. Kenta is also criminally underused. In Fusion he was basically a second main character and there are some episodes specifically following him. Then in Masters, he’s pushed aside in favour of side characters. People say Fury underused characters, and I’ll get to that, but holy crap, Masters gave Kenta no room to grow. Aside from him though, the other characters are used really well. I particularly like how Kyoya and Ryuga are incorporated. This is actually the season where I grew attached to Ryuga during my viewing in December. I was starting to like him in Fusion but this season cemented my newfound attachment. This season also gave us the dark Tsubasa arc, which is one of my favourite plot points from the show overall. It’s a fascinating look into the mind of a character I already really liked and it allowed Tsubasa to develop a lot. I love the conclusion that you cannot drive out the darkness in yourself, you have to accept it as part of who you are in order to properly control it. It’s brilliant, and I can personally relate this message to my own life. The dark Tsubasa arc is probably the strongest part of the season overall as the rest of it until we get to the HD Academy conflict kind of drags for me. However, when we do finally get to the HD Academy conflict, it is very fun. The whole “spiral energy” thing was actually pretty creative and while brainwashing isn’t a new concept for this show, I think they went more in depth with it in this season and it was pretty interesting. So yeah, still a really good season.

2 Metal Fusion

If I was ranking based on nostalgia, this would be number one. In fact, it probably deserves to be number one. However, I do have a few problems with this season that hold it back and it’s not the pacing. Actually, out of all the seasons, Fusion probably has the best pacing. The main villains, Doji and Ryuga, are introduced early in the season and all the characters are developed throughout the season, building up to the final tournament: Battle Bladers, which is also set up fairly early. The story is predictable but very well-structured. My biggest problem with this season is the plot twist with Gingka’s dad. Not only is it painfully obvious, but the reveal of the twist drags the plot to a screeching halt for nearly an entire episode, hurting the pacing and making an entire episode an exposition dump. It also made Gingka’s dad a terrible character. You can argue that him abandoning his teenage son and making him believe he was dead was for the greater good, although I personally still think it’s messed up, but breaking Gingka’s point counter like that was a step way too far. That moment serves to further the story by forcing Gingka to work harder to get into Battle Bladers. But did it have to be his dad who broke the point counter? I argue it didn’t. Gingka’s dad was flat out abusive to his son on that occasion and was pretty cold to him in general as Phoenix and yet the plot and even some of the characters praise Ryo for doing this. Why?! The way the story is structured puts Ryo in the right for abusing his son which disgusts me. That is my biggest problem with this season and possibly the whole series to be honest. I hate it that much. However, apart from that and those random filler episodes with Sora that in my opinion were boring, this season was really solid. Like I said, the story is told well and the characters are all introduced and developed well. Battle Bladers is definitely the highlight of this season, having the most intense battles and hardest hitting moments. Those episodes are exhausting to watch, because of Reiji and Ryuga. Reiji was randomly introduced in Battle Bladers and decided to try and rival Ryuga in how much he could traumatize the characters (and younger me). I have no idea why they decided to do that, but it worked. Ryuga in this season is the best villain in the whole series. He has such a presence to him: his (dubbed) voice, his sadistic expressions, his abilities, the music that plays when he’s onescreen. He’s over the top but in my opinion, Ryuga is the perfect balance between entertaining and intimidating. He’s even slightly sympathetic by the end of the season when he gets taken over by dark power and is seen trying to fight its control. They managed to both make Ryuga an irredeemable psychopath and found a believable way to redeem him. I love that in the end, Gingka isn’t fighting to defeat Ryuga, he’s fighting to defeat the dark power, which came from the greed and hatred of humans. Basically, the problem isn’t humanity, it’s humanity’s greed/hatred and being consumed by these feelings lead to evil. That is genius. This season also had two of my favourite battles in the entire series: Kyoya vs Ryuga, and Gingka vs Ryuga.

1 Metal Fury

Yeah, I said it. Fury is my personal favourite season. It probably has more wrong with it than Masters and Fusion but honestly, Fury’s strengths more than make up for its weaker parts for me. The only problem I have with Fury that actively hinders my enjoyment is Kyoya’s poorly handled arc, which I’ve been over multiple times and wrote a whole fanfiction rectifying. To sum it up briefly: it was rushed and weakened Kyoya’s character when it had the chance to develop him. I will admit this season also had too few episodes. I don’t think it was rushed per say, it just feels like parts are missing. There should’ve been more leading up to Nemesis’ revival and an actual epilogue episode because as it stands now, Fury ends really suddenly without much actual confirmation of where the characters we know and love ended up. It’s kind of jarring. Overall however, I really love Fury. I love the adventure style story and there's so much variety to the bey battles this time around, both in terms of the beys themselves and the stadiums. It’s just more interesting to watch. It also did a great job giving all the major characters victories, not just Gingka. This is something Masters also did well and a gripe I have with Fusion: Gingka gets all the major victories in Metal Fusion and pushes the other characters to the wayside. Well, Masters and Fury fixed this issue in my opinion. The very final fight of Fury against the shadow Nemesis could’ve been executed better in my opinion. However, it hits all the right emotional beats for a final battle and still grabs my attention rewatching it, so I can put aside my criticisms of it while watching it. Also, I like that “destiny” is something these characters are controlling themselves and can go either way rather than being some unstoppable force that they will all give in to eventually otherwise they’re villains. Because that’s how Yugioh does it and it’s probably my biggest problem with that show. In that series, it feels like the characters are all just blindly accepting “destiny” and those that don’t, Kaiba and Marik most notably, are deemed villains for wanting to take control over their lives and not be governed by some invisible force. Yes, I know Marik went to some horrible extremes using this logic but it still bothers me that the only characters in that show that don’t throw their lives away blindly following someone else’s whims are deemed villains. It’s just kind of messed up. Fury thankfully subverts this. “Destiny” is not an unstoppable force in Beyblade, it’s the will of the characters and those characters are allowed to make their own choices. It makes the story more interesting and the characters more likeable because the characters are the ones driving the story, which feels so much more natural. Yeah, I really like the characters in Fury. Honestly, I’m more attached to Yuki, King, and Chris than anyone introduced in Masters and the other legendary blader characters all bring something different and interesting to the table that I don’t think older characters could have. I also like how the old characters are used. Sure, Tsubasa and Yu are underused this season. But guess who also got a lot of focus last season? Tsubasa and Yu. And some of the characters who were underused in Masters, Kyoya and Kenta, get more focus in this season. They did mess up Kyoya’s arc in my opinion but the effort is there and I appreciate his presence before and after that. Kenta especially was severely underused in Masters so this season decided to make him relevant again and they did it in such an endearing way. You all know how much I love Ryuga and Kenta’s friendship. It’s one of the things that should have gotten more focus but what we do get is good enough build up. This season was the one that drew the most emotion out of me during my most recent viewing and that was because of Ryuga and Kenta. I was devastated by Ryuga’s death (even if he may not actually be dead, that’s certainly what it felt like in the moment) and the scene where he gives Kenta his power was the most touching moment in the entire show for me.

Well, that ranking probably pissed some people off. Again, I love the classic three seasons. (I’m not a fan of Shogun Steel but it has its moments.) Choosing between the three of them like that was incredibly difficult, especially Fusion and Fury. In the end, I just had to go with my gut.

[royalblue-star]

the boiling rock- zuko

Y’all this turned out to be a lot longer than I excepted, but I couldn’t help myself. Thank you if you read through the whole thing:)) 

Pairing: Zuko x Firebender! Reader

Summary: When the reader arrives at the Boiling Rock, she quickly becomes part of an elaborate plan to escape. And reunites with an old friend.

(Not my gif)

The gondola ride to the Boiling Rock was so tense that you could cut through it with a knife. You stood in the corner of the machine surround by criminals of the Fire Nation and the leader of the most recent invasion, Hakoda. You glanced over at the guards stationed by the entrance to the gondola. They were deep in their own conversation, perfect.

"Sir," you whispered to Hakoda.

After a moment of silence, you gathered that he was blatantly ignoring you. So, you tried again.

"Sir, please."

"What?" He whispered harshly back.

You should've excepted the ferocity of his tone because you were from the Fire Nation, but it hurt none the less.

"I just, uh, wanted to say that your plan to invade the Fire Nation was brilliant, and... I'm sorry that it failed." You paused, taking a deep breath. 'I was rooting for you."

This caught Hakoda's attention. You? Clearly, someone from the Fire Nation, hoping the invasion of your own nation succeeded? The man looked at you firmly, trying to understand you. You looked out of place among the other prisoners. So, how did you get there?

"Who are you?" He asked.

"(Y/N), sir. I was on Ozai's war council, one of his best battle strategists. I tried to convince the other council members that there wasn't an invasion, but Azula had found out about it as well."

"You were trying to let the invasion happen?"

"Yes, sir."

Hakoda looked bewildered. First by the fact that Ozai would let someone as young as you on his council. And second by how willing you were to betray your nation.

"Why?"

"Oh, so many reasons." You grimaced. "The Fire Lord is a monster."

You glanced over at the guards again, they were still deep in conversation, but you were approaching the prison quickly. You had to shoot your shot. Hakoda was probably the only person at the prison who could help you.

"Sir, I'm trying to come up with an escape plan, and I understand if you don't trust me-"

"(Y/N)," He cut you off. "I'll make sure you get out of here safely."

Letting out a sigh of relief, you replied, "Thank you."

Suddenly the gondola stopped, and the doors opened. Outside in the yard, the Warden and a few guards stood waiting for your arrival.

~

Across the yard, Sokka, Suki, and Zuko stood anxiously waiting for the new prisoners to arrive.

"Who's that?" questioned Suki. She was pointing at you as you were pushed out of the gondola and into line with the other prisoners. Your head was down, making you look even smaller among the rest of the group. Zuko followed Suki's line of sight and gasped when he laid eyes on you.

"That's (Y/N)."

"Who?" Suki inquired further.

"She's the one who helped me escape on the day of the invasion! My father must've found out that she played a part in it." He watched as you were roughly led away from the Warden and towards the inside of the building. "We have to get her out with us."

"What! Why!" Exclaimed Sokka, who was confused as to why they would have to add another person into their escape plan. "You might've changed, but she might not have!"

"You don't know her, not like I do. I offered to take her with me, but she refused. She said, 'You need an ally on the inside, Zuko. I'll be working from within.'"

"But-"

"She's coming with us."

~

You grunted as your body connected with the stone floor of your cell. Laughter from the guards that had led you there came from up behind you.

"You used to be one of the brightest minds in the Fire Nation. The Warden even admired your war tactics. Now, look at you. You're here, washed up and broken. It's sad." One of the guards sneered.

The door slammed shut, and you were left in the dark of the cell. A hot tear rolled silently down your face. 'You did the right thing by helping Zuko. You chose to pay for this price.' You thought, wiping the tear away.

Zuko and your relationship were always special. The two fo you were practically inseparable when you were young. The prince would steal you away from Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee so he could play with you. You didn't mind, he was more fun to be around anyways. But as the two of you grew older, it became harder to find time for one another.

Zuko was the Fire Lord's heir, and you were a general's daughter. While he was learning how to rule, you were learning the ins and outs of war. The two fo you did, however, learn to firebend together, but that was only for a short period each day. So, the two of you agreed to meet in secret during the night. Over time you developed a crush on the prince, and soon the crush turned into love. And love quickly became a secret.

Outside your door stood a nervous Sokka. Zuko and surprisingly, his father, had made it clear that you were to be involved in their escape. But he was skeptical due to your previous position in the Fire Nation. Reluctantly, he pushed the door to the cell open and quietly slipped inside.

You shot up from your place on the floor at the sight of him. But, there was something off about this guard. He came off as a new recruit, but that was obviously not the truth.  

"What do you want?" You growled, stepping back into an offensive stance.

"Uh, are you (Y/N)?"

This caught you off guard. It became clear that this "guard" was in fact, not a guard. There was something else at play here.

"Who's asking?" It was meant to come out as a question but ended up being more aggressive.

"My dad told me that you were escaping with us. I'm Sokka." He left out Zuko's name on purpose. He wanted to see your reaction. He wanted to see if you'd still help them without the prince.

"You're Hakoda's son?"

"Yeah.."

"He came up with a plan fast." You remarked, impressed by the older man. "What is it?"

A small smile grew on the Watertribe boy's face, and he began to fill you in on the details. Occasionally you would ask questions or drop in suggestions to improve things, but mostly you let him talk. He seemed to be like you in a sense that he had a mind for strategies. He was very clearly a diamond in the rough, but he was finding his shine. The two of you didn't have as much time as you would've liked to discuss the plan.

"Look for me in the yard once everyone is let out." He rose from his place on the ground and reached over to open the door and leave.

"Wait!" You said suddenly, jumping up from the ground. Sokka stopped and turned to look at you. It's a good plan, I think it just might work. You did a good job, thank you."

He wasn't able to hide the shock on his face, and instead of thanking you, he just nodded.

~

Once the door to your cell flew open, you were out of there in a flash. You bolted to the courtyard, pushing through all the hundreds of other prisoners. There were so many of them, how were you ever going to find Hakoda or Sokka? As you navigated through the growing crowd, you heard your name being faintly called. You turned to see Hakoda waving you over to where the rest of the group was.

"Hey," You said, running over to them. There was a girl that you hadn't met standing with them, but she looked familiar. Then it clicked. "Are you one of the Kyoshi warriors?"

She looked taken aback, "Yes, I'm the leader, Suki"

"That's so cool! I love your group, I think what you all do is amazing!" You marveled. She smiled at you as a form of gratitude, and the two of you quickly developed a mutual understanding of one another.

"This is it!" Called Sokka as he ran up to us. "We have to start a riot."

"Okay, but how do we do that."

Your eyes widened. This was a basic detail, and they forgot it. You bit your tongue to hold back the remarks that were threatening to spill.

"I'll show you." Smirked Hakoda. The older man made his way over to another prisoner and shoved him. And it failed, obviously.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed, you were going to have to think quick.

"This isn't working," Sokka stressed.

"Yeah, no kidding." You grumbled.

"Do you have any better ideas!"

"Planning things was my job, of course, I do!" You retorted. You turned around to survey the courtyard. These were mostly Fire Nation prisoners, and the good majority were probably firebenders. And that meant one thing: Pent up anger. It was a known fact that the Warden didn't treat anyone here with any respect, so that was a common source for revenge among the prisoners. And to add fuel to the fire, everyone here must be incredibly bored. So, it would only take one simple action to set everyone off. The trick was figuring out what that action would be.

'Hey, you!" Called a new voice. "You're lucky I didn't rat you out. But my generosity comes with a price. I know you're planning another escape attempt, and I want in."

'Oh, he's perfect.' You thought, a lightbulb going off overhead.

"You," You directed, pointing at the new person. "We need a riot. Do me a favor and just go over there and have fun."

"I like your style." He smirked before following my instructions. Next, you turned to Suki and tilted your head slightly, indicating her to go ahead of us when she got a chance. She was a Kyoshi warrior, why not let her have fun.

'Impressive," remarked Hakoda as the courtyard erupted into chaos. "How did you get that idea?"

"As I said, it's my job to plan things."

"Oh, good Zuko! We're all here." Sokka exclaimed. Your heart just about stopped. Zuko was here?

You turned to see hair dark hair whipping around wildly as he ran towards the group. You just about melted as your gaze made contact with his golden orbs.

"Zuko." You whispered in disbelief.

The prince stopped dead in his tracks. "(Y/N)?"

Without another second passing, you jumped into his arms. Your arms locked around his neck and your legs went around his waist. He gripped your waist tightly while bringing one hand up and into your hair.

"You're okay." He breathed. "I've been worried ever since I left."

Sokka cleared his throat from behind us, full knowing that he was going to tease Zuko for this later. "I hate to break up the moment, but we need to get the Warden."

"Suki's on it," you replied as you untangled yourself from Zuko.

"Yeah, your girlfriend's taking care of it." We all turned to see Suki scaling the wall headed towards the Warden.

Intertwining you and Zuko's hand together you said, "Why are we still standing here? Let's go!"

By the time everyone caught up to the Kyoshi warrior, the Warden was officially our prisoner.

"How do you like my tactics now?" You questioned the Warden as Suki handed him off. He only glared at you, so you smirked triumphantly.

The path to the gondola was riddled with guards, but you were met with a group of them as you approached your method of escape. One of them fired a blast of fire at Sokka, but Zuko stepped in front of him and deflected it. You moved up next to Zuko and shot two equally powerful balls of fire towards the guards, forcing them back.

"Back off! We've got the Warden!" Zuko demanded and the guards reluctantly backed down.

You all crossed the bridge cautiously and you threw the gondola doors open. "Everyone get in!"

Once everyone was inside, Zuko shut the door and raced over to a lever. Where he proceeded to pull it and bash it, sending the gondola moving. You happened to look out the window just in time to see Zuko dodging fire blasts while jumping towards the gondola.

Once Sokka had pulled the prince safely inside the gondola, you an over to him and smacked his chest. "You absolute idiot! What on earth were you thinking?"

"I was making it so that the guards couldn't stop us."

"Shut up! I'm supposed to be the smart one!"

He laughed and moved some loose hair from your face. "You still are."

Your arms made their way around his torso as a sigh escaped your lips. It had been a while since the two of you had even had a moment of peace together. Even upon his return to the Fire Nation, the two of you scarcely saw each other. So, moments like these, with the two of you locked in each other's embrace, were treasured.

"I missed you, Zu."

"I missed you too."

Across the gondola, Hakoda leaned out of one of the windows and shouted, "Wait, who's that?"

He was pointing at the figures of Azula and Ty Lee racing up the cable towards the machine.

"That's a problem." Zuko groaned, his arm moving from the previous hug to gripped your waist. "It's my sister and her friend."

"This is the rematch I've been waiting for." Suki snarled, cracking her knuckles.

"You have no idea."

You, Sokka, Suki, and Zuko all climbed out of the gondola and onto the roof, ready to face the princess and her acrobatic friend. You stood up, taking an offensive position next to Zuko while Zula pulled herself up onto the roof. The prince's arm flew out in front of you as if to protect you, not that you needed it, but anything is possible with Azula.

"Oh, how cute." Azula sneered. "The two traitors protecting each other."

She delivered a flawless kick which sent a blast of blue fire towards us. Zuko managed to block the first two blasts, but when Azula sent a surprisingly big blast, he was thrown back. It took everything in you not to check on him and focus on your opponent. He would be alright, and you knew that.

Wasting no time, you jumped into a front ariel, dodging Azula's next blast and sending your own towards her. Landing in a crouched position, you glowered at her. "You just had to ruin everything, didn't you?"

"Now, why would I let you and Zuzu have all the fun?" Two more quick shots of blue fire were sent at you, and you bearly managed to block them from the ground. Backbending back, you shot more fire from your feet at the princess in an attempt to throw her off guard.

"You know," she mused. "You could come back. Regain your rank on the council, and have your name cleared. We could forget this ever happened."

"Why would I do that?" It was rhetorical, but Azula answered anyways.

"Maybe then your family wouldn't get hurt."

Your guard instantly went down. You had completely forgotten to ensure your family's safety. The events of your arrest had happened so fast that you didn't think up a way to protect them.

Azula saw her chance. Your guard was down, and you were vulnerable. The princess sent a bolt of lightening square into your shoulder, and you were thrown into the metal hold of the gondola.

Your ears started to ring, and your shoulder felt as if it had been lit on fire. Slowly, your senses started to fade. Azula was standing over you, talking, but you couldn't make out what she was saying. All you could focus on was the growing, hot pain in your shoulder. The last clear thing you saw before your vision blurred was Azula holding out her fingers, preparing to fire again.

You blinked, and suddenly Zuko was standing over you, forcing his sister back.

You blinked again, attempting to keep your mind from completely fogging. But the pain was so intense. The last thing you felt before losing complete consciousness was you being lifted up off the ground and handed off like a rag doll.

~

Later that night, everyone was sound asleep on the airship they had stolen from Azula. Well, everyone except for Zuko. He hadn't left your side since they had taken off. Worry practically radiated off of him ad he clutched your limp hand for dear life. He had only just gotten you back, and now you might be taken away from him again.

"You idiot." He mumbled to your unconscious form. "Why did you try to take Azula on your own. You're supposed to be the smart one."

He knew that that wasn't fair, but he couldn't help it. You had always been able to hold your own, even as kids. But he couldn't help but feel protective over you. You were the one thing in his life that had remained consistent. You never gave up on him, you were always there for him, and you always forgave him. He had already lost Iroh, he couldn't lose you too.

"You love her, don't you?" Sokka remarked, coming up from behind the prince.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Don't avoid my question."

Zuko turned back to gaze down at your fragile form. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"She's a lucky girl to have someone who cares so much." He patted Zuko's shoulder reassuringly. "She'll be okay."

Moments after Sokka had walked away, Zuko felt your hand shift. His head shot up as you groaned.

"Zuko..?" Your voice was scratchy, but it was the most beautiful sound that he had ever heard.

You tried to sit up, only for Zuko to gently place his hands around you and move you to a sitting position.

"Easy, (Y/N), you were just struck by lightning."

"Is that so?" you grumbled sarcastically. "I take back what I said to Sokka, your friends are bad at battle strategies."

"I know." He said laughing lightly. But after a moment he grew serious and asked, "How did you end up in the Boiling Rock?"

"Your father found out that I helped plan your escape, and that I knew about the invasion on the day of the eclipse. Obviously, I forgot to inform him about either so he sent me there. He thought that by my being at the Boiling Rock, he would still have access to my skills if needed."

You watched as the guilt flooded into Zuko's golden eyes. "It's my fault you were put there. I'm so sorry about everything. You've done everything, risked everything for me, and this is how I repay you."

"Zuko, I made those decisions on my own. I wouldn't have helped you if I didn't think it was right. I will always be by your side. And I will always support whatever crazy choices you make."

"Thank you so much, I don't think I've said that to you enough. Thank you. Where would I be without you?"

"Probably lost in a tunnel." A smile spread across both of your faces.

"Zuko I-"

"(Y/N) I-"

"Oh! I'm sorry-"

"Sorry I-" Our words overlapped each other.

"Wait," You weakly held you a hand. "You first, Prince Zuko."

"But-"

"Go."

Zuko's heart started to beat so loud that he was sure you could hear it. "(Y/N), I just wanted to say that I... I like you. More than a friend! Spirits, I might even love you! I've never felt this way about anyone before and I- I don't know what to do. You make me feel safe and loved and free, all at the same time! I can always be myself around you! We've been through so much together and I.." He trailed off. "I hope you feel the same."

He began to grow nervous as the seconds of silence ticked by. Did he overstep by confessing everything to you? Suddenly. you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, cutting off his anxious thoughts. Zuko began to relax into it and kissed you back deeper. Once the kiss broke, you pressed your forehead to his and brought your hand to the side of his face.

"I love you too, stupid."

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 3-4

- a shot-put ball, according to my cursory research, weighs in the neighborhood of 6-16 pounds. leila howland expects me to believe that princess “hoisted an adult woman 70 ft into the air on the daily with nothing but a pulley and raw upper body strength” rapunzel has a hard time picking up a shot.

anyways

- rapunzel thinks about how she used to talk to herself in her tower when she was isolated (and lonely) but stopped once she came to corona, and this girl looked like she was talking to herself, and it gave rapunzel this weird sense of familiarity! now what in the world could that mean? its so subtle i can’t quite put my finger on it.

again, romance novel.

less sardonically - i will say that tts cass has never struck me as an especially lonely person. yes, rapunzel is quite possibly her first ever close friend, but cass also appears to be on pleasant terms with her coworkers and has at least one or two friendships or mentor-type relationships among the guards (stan and pete). animals in tts are anthropomorphized enough to qualify as humans, and cassandra is unequivocally friends with owl and fidella. she is friendly if not friends with at least one coronan citizen (monty). she’s utterly unfazed by crowley’s crabbiness. she’s able to get along with the pub thugs. in vardaros she befriends vex with ease and makes herself right at home among the citizenry at large. there is zero friction between her and lance - at most she rolls her eyes when he’s being ridiculous. and out of the main cast, cassandra is the one who seems closest to varian in s1 - like, she has actual bonding moments with him. 

THE POINT BEING, cassandra may not have a lot of close friends, but she is nevertheless personable and demonstrates the ability to adapt herself to suit a variety of social environments. maybe i’m projecting here - i have very few close offline friends because my preference for in-person socialization is for it to be very casual - but taken together this doesn’t scream ‘lonely person’ to me. it instead says ‘person who finds social fulfillment in a wide net of friendly acquaintanceships’ and possibly also ‘person who finds close, emotionally intimate relationships worthwhile but very demanding to maintain, and so seldom or never seeks them out.’

this, absolutely, a very subjective reading of her character - it is just as plausible for cass to be someone who is socially competent but feels inwardly unfulfilled until rapunzel comes along. but even in that reading, this implication that cassandra is as deeply lonely, as thoroughly isolated in corona as rapunzel was in her tower is baldly absurd.

- i think i will have more thoughts about how arianna is characterized and the relationship she and rapunzel have with each other later in the story. for now it feels rather mechanical, and like arianna exists in the story to facilitate cassunzel happening.

- cassandra comes across to me like she has an anxiety disorder written by someone who doesn’t quite know how to convey how that feels? she catastrophizes: what if rapunzel thinks cass attacked her? will she get in trouble? but then she stops to make snide comments about rapunzel’s security detail ‘[falling] down on the job’ and concludes with an impressive amount of certainty that rapunzel isn’t going to make a big deal of it, after all. that… isn’t how anxiety works?

then, immediately, she finds a note from her father scolding her for slacking off—making it clear that she is indeed in trouble, like she feared—and her response is to scoff and throw it away. zero concern about being in trouble. zero worry about the consequences she might face for refusing the pointed “offer” of being rapunzel’s lady-in-waiting. like… this isn’t anxiety. i’m positive it’s meant to convey anxiety, but it comes across as cassandra just being… melodramatic and rude and grumpy. like a teenager. it’s unpleasant. and it bears very little resemblance to tts cass, who expresses a clear and consistent anxiety regarding the security of her job and the looming threat of a convent.

- secondly: “Friedborg reported that you missed your afternoon duties AGAIN. Please be advised that this is unacceptable. The queen is looking for a lady-in-waiting to serve Princess Rapunzel. It would be a great opportunity for you, and you must show the queen how prepared you are to train her in the ways of the court.” i am 100% convinced that howland thought cass was rapunzel’s age or younger. if friedborg is effectively cassandra’s direct supervisor, and she is reporting absences to cassandra’s father instead of addressing this with cassandra directly, the only explanation that makes sense is that cassandra is not of legal age.

- “Ladies don’t wield weapons, lead military strategy meetings, or race on horseback. Ladies do needlework, flower arranging, and hairstyling.”

sighs.

i am not going to argue that corona, in any incarnation, isn’t culturally sexist. it is. there are no women in the guard, no women in trades, no female business owners in the vein of monty or xavier or feldspar. besides rapunzel and arianna - who as the monarch’s spouse has very little in the way of actual political power - there are no women in the upper echelons of the government. besides cassandra, the only gnc women around are criminals. cass is denied even a chance to join the guard for no evident reason, even though her father allows eugene - a man he openly despises - to take the tests and then begrudgingly hires him when he passes. no one sees an issue with this, even though cassandra is demonstrably overqualified.

however.

howland makes this cultural sexism explicit text, and she does so in such a way that it implies something pretty horrifying about the already pretty horrifying corona-saporia unification backstory.

i am talking, of course, about general shampanier. you know, the female saporian general whom herz der sonne married when the two kingdoms were unified. the female saporian general who personally dueled der sonne for hours, according to under raps. the female saporian general who, forget military strategy meetings, led an entire goddamn army. i will accept the possibility that shampanier did not ride horses, because rapunzel’s return suggests that saporians have some sort of cultural objection to that. but this book predates rapunzel’s return by a large margin, and it isn’t canon anyway, so odds are the general shampanier of this story rode a warhorse at some point or another in her illustrious career of being the general of an army!!!

this woman - general shampanier - became the queen, the wife of arguably corona’s most historically important king, at a defining moment in coronan political and cultural history. tts and lost lagoon would both have us believe that this was a romantic, peaceful union between two people and two nations, but a few hundred years later - this. ladies don’t fight. ladies don’t belong in the war tent. ladies don’t ride horses. cass takes these things for granted as facts of life. but general shampanier did all of those things, and she did them extremely well, and she became corona’s queen.

WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT HAPPENED TO SHAMPANIER’S LEGACY?

how did corona go from a warrior-queen to this, in just a few hundred years? the most plausible answer is that the background radiation of sexism and, perhaps, anti-saporian bias was powerful enough to unravel any cultural impact she may have otherwise had, deep enough to render her an outlier, an aberration, an exception to the rule that women do not act like that.

even arguing here that ‘lady’ specifically means ‘noblewoman’ doesn’t add up - because, again, general shampanier became THE QUEEN. you don’t get more noblewoman than that!

it feels unfair to judge this book with details added in season 3—such as the fact that shampanier is evidently not buried with herz der sonne—but this total lack of a cultural impact from general shampanier, queen of corona, feels very telling even without taking those tidbits of extra-textual information into consideration.

and good god, saporia hasn’t even properly entered the narrative yet! this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg!

*deep breath*

moving. on.

- continuing the theme of cass being a child larping as a guard recruit: she has a closetful of weapons which she maintains to the exacting standards of the handbook, but skips out on her job to “train” in secret because evidently she’ll do ANYTHING to get on the guard except, you know, demonstrate a modicum of responsibility with the job she has now.

- moreover while i think cartography is a neat hobby for cassandra to have, it… doesn’t make a lot of sense if it’s part of some nebulous plan to ~prove herself worthy~ of being on the guard. like, cartography straight up isn’t a relevant skill, and while knowing the countryside could certainly be helpful for guard work in the event a criminal goes to ground in the wilderness, it’s like… it’s like if i applied for my current job, which is in software/tech support, by focusing an intensive amount of energy on teaching myself spanish. fluency in spanish is a useful skill and one that i could turn into an asset within the bounds of my current job, and it might be the deciding factor in me getting hired over someone else with equivalent experience and skill in computing and tech support (which is what the job involves) because, yes, some of our clients are ESL spanish-speakers. but it’s—there’s a disconnect. if i were in a tight competition to get this job i would be pouring my time into sharpening my programming skill and polishing up a portfolio of relevant work. i wouldn’t be devoting hours upon hours to learning spanish. right?

on the other hand—if cartography is a hobby cassandra is passionate about, and she’s 16 or 17 or 18 and she really likes the idea of being on the guard and really feels like she can do it and is bored with her dumb teenager job and desperate to get her dad to make her a guard without actually grasping what being a guard entails or the kind of work it involves or what she actually, realistically needs to do to have a shot, then… yeah, skipping work to play pretend with her weapons and convincing herself that her favorite hobby is totally going to prove to her dad that she’s ready to be a guard!!! makes perfect sense. it’s no different from tts varian tunnel visioning so hard on this fantasy of ‘i’ll surprise my whole village with hot running water and then my dad will be proud of me!!!’ that he neglects basic safety measures and accidentally blows the whole system up. it’s not realistic. it’s a fantasy. it’s play.

- the only time cassandra brings up eugene’s criminal past in tts is to mock him for being a loser. like. literally. the plot of fitzherbert pi kicks off when she calls him a “two-bit hood” and then when he fires back that flynn rider was a LEGEND!!! she fires back “key word being was. and… what is it you do now?” and that’s the only time she brings it up. granted this is 6-7 months into their relationship but… still, frankly i never got the impression that “former thief” was anywhere close to the top of cassandra’s list of reasons for hating eugene. he’s just a dick. she doesn’t like him because he’s a huge selfish jerk and she warms up to him after her starts behaving better.

- rapunzel goes to the ty lee school of flirting. just… laugh really hard at everything your crush says even if it’s not funny.

- despite my… intense and rapidly growing dislike for how cassandra is characterized in this book, her experiencing an actual physical reaction when rapunzel enters her space without permission is good. it’s about the boundaries. it has always been about the boundaries, and rapunzel crossing them, and the intractable messiness that arises from that.

- in fact: how many times does rapunzel cross boundaries in just this one little scene? oh, let me count the ways!

1 - when cassandra goes to shut the door, rapunzel ducks under her arm to enter the room. (eugene attempts to enter as well, but cass succeeds in blocking him.)

2 - missing or ignoring cassandra’s first “go away” hint about only playing individual sports.

3 - missing or ignoring cassandra’s second “go away” hint (“I let the silence get awkward.”)

4 - arranging cassandra’s invitation to the feast of elodie the great with the captain beforehand, so cass can’t use him as an excuse to decline.

5 - missing or ignoring cassandra’s obvious discomfort with this news, taking cassandra’s attendance at the feast as a done deal, and skipping straight to asking cassandra to sit next to her.

6 - in response to cassandra’s very diplomatic signal of not wanting to do that (“I sit wherever I’m assigned”), she declares that she’ll make sure cassandra is assigned to sit next to her.

7 - touching without permission, which makes cassandra flinch.

all of which results in cassandra making what she considers to be a “tactical surrender.” and then shutting and locking her door, because she feels so rattled. as i recall, lagoon is actually a lot mellower on the boundary violations front - and rapunzel actually learns better over the course of the story, which is probably the biggest reason that lost lagoon is not canon and cannot be canon to tts - but it feels worth writing this sort of thing out because, well. it is one of the dead horses i keep clobbering.