#excuse the excessive reblogging

[honeyedmiller]

i finally made a tbr bookshelf blog 🫡

[fire-faerie-nineteen]

Excuse me while I brain dump.

For so much of my life, I've considered myself to be a swiftie. Taylor Swift is the reason I started playing guitar. Taylor Swift is the reason I got through many of my interpersonal struggles in middle and high school. Taylor Swift is, in small part, the reason I am the writer and musician and woman I am today.

The first time I stayed up for an album release was Midnights, and it was disappointing. The second time was 1989 TV, and I never liked 1989 to begin with. The third time was last night for TTPD and it was...underwhelming?

Like, everyone online is freaking out about it, swifites are losing their goddamn minds and I just don't understand. She's written better songs instrumentally. She's written better songs lyrically. I think she's become so comfortable in her fame and her fans that she's just stopped trying. Folklore was a hit. Why change the formula?

I don't like her ballads very much. I never have. And this whole album (all both of them) was ballad after ballad after ballad and I simply do not care!!! There is a reason Lover and Speak Now and Fearless are my faves. Why is this woman incapable of being happy? Why is the only upbeat song on the new album about a shitty guy and why does nobody like it????

I think as I've grown and gotten older, I've started listening to people who have better lyrics and instrumentation (The Crane Wives and Madds Buckley come to mind) and Swift just doesn't resonate like she used to. Which is weird since she's gotten older too, and you think her music would reflect that.

This isn't a goodbye to Swift altogether. I will always be excited for a new album even if I suspect I'll be disappointed. I hope the next one comes out five years later and Jack Antonoff has nothing to do with it. I hope it has a new sound. And I hope there's not a single breakup song on it because at 30-whatever, it's lost its charm.

[st4rbwrry]

𝒩𝒪𝒪𝒦𝐼𝐸.

⸝⸝ ౨ৎ :: getou isn’t fond of the new gardener you hired who’s clearly flirting with you when he’s not home.

warnings ౨ৎ 2.7k. fem!reader, lowercase intended, cunninglingus/face riding, cottage core au? + getou’s a farmer, missionary in da kitchen, praising ofc, exhibitionism, jealousy, possessiveness, getou’s kinda rude, sub / dom dynamic, established relationship, rough play, m oral, impact play, unprotected, pet names ex. [ baby, sweetheart ], minors aren’t welcomed! comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

getou doesn’t appreciate that you aren’t greeting him with his usual kisses after you raise on your tippy toes to smooch him after he comes home from a long day of churning butter and tending to livestock. it doesn’t make him happy to know that you’re not tending to his attention and rather giving it to another man after he strolls through your large kitchen, that he built for you, to head into the back of your farmhouse to find you giggling and conversing with the new gardener. a gardener that you personally hired that he had yet to meet.

he could smell the pan of shepherds pie and cornbread in the oven, ignoring the way his stomach growls hungrily and it quickly being consumed with irritation. you’re wearing your cute pink apron with tiny patterns of sunflowers and bunnies as you hold a woven basket of freshly picked strawberries the man before you tossed into. having a conversation about fucking strawberries. he didn’t expect this man to be. . . of your type. tall, nice smile, good hair, makes you laugh a little too fucking hard. what about fruits could possibly be so fucking funny, [♡]?

“what a surprise,” getou’s voice is laced with annoyance, deep and causing the two to go silent as he makes his way down the steps to stand directly next to you. you blink, knowing your husband very well and easily you could tell he’s off.

“hi, baby! this is matteo, he’s our new gardener! we were talking a lot about the new setup i plan on having!” the smile on your face is pure, looking back and forth between getou and your gardener. “he just started today.”

“hey, man. nice to meet you. your wife told me all about you,” matteo remains professional, extending his hand for a handshake. you roll your lips in, waiting for your husband to comply with respect. it’s silent as you stare between both men, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck rise from anxiousness.

“mhm,” is all getou can say, matteo taken aback by his approach. it’s extremely rude, and you blink excessively to keep your composure. taking a deep breath, you form a tight lipped smile towards your gardener.

“excuse me for a moment,” you speak, side eyeing getou before pulling him to the side, matteo continuing his job by picking juicy fruits from their stems.

“what’s your deal? that was fucking rude,” you denounce, gawking up at him with a raised brow. getou folds his bulky arms, not understanding how you’re acting dumb right now. you knew this would piss him off.

getou leans down to get closer to you, lips inches from your ear. “who told you to hire somebody like this?"

"hire somebody like what?" the man retaliates, overhearing getou’s weak attempt of whispering to you, taking offense. regardless, he spoke on his name when he was right there.

getou turns his face only an inch or so, barely giving the man full attention. you swallow, his face nearly touching your own possessively, like an animal protecting it’s mate. getou then switches his eyes fully, intensely staring at the man. "like someone she'd fuck."

his immature response causes you to step away from him with a look of disgust, brows pinched with anger. you couldn’t believe his mouth. you’re not sure what the fuck’s gotten into him, but it wasn’t cute. quite frankly, he looked stupid.

“you’re making a fucking fool of yourself,” you spat, eyes burning. knocking your head back in the sweet gardeners direction, you hold your hand over your heart apologetically. “i am truly sorry for my husband’s rudeness. please forgive me for this, but i think it’s best if you go. i will give you a call tomorrow. i’m sorry again.”

the man nods only once, keeping his focus solely on you, not even bothering to glance in your husband’s direction. his possessiveness a black cloud over the party. “it’s not a problem at all. have a great rest of your day, ma’am.”

the minute your gardener is out of view, that’s when you give getou an irritated snarl, looking him up and down as if the man had no shame. which he didn’t, and that was the problem. “what is wrong with you?!”

getou intakes air as you strut away angrily, heading back into your kitchen to adapt into the ignoring him bubble and completely tuning into your dinner prepping. since you have freshly picked strawberries, you decided to start a mixture for muffins you could sell to the neighborhood tomorrow morning. a festival was being held at the ranch a few blocks down, already promising a few ladies you’d whip something up sweet.

getou follows behind, studying as you huff and puff to yourself while gathering eggs, milk and other things you needed.

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“because it’s fucking stupid. why’d i hire someone to help me out? oh my god, such a mystery.”

“you’re being immature.”

that causes you to stop all movements. holding onto the edges of the island and staring at him with disbelief, mouth actually drawn open as you scoff. “i’m immature? because you didn’t just disrespect that man for no reason. you know him or sum?”

“don’t act slow. you hired that man ‘cause he’s someone you can eye fuck when i’m not home. don’t pretend you don’t find him attractive,” getou grits his teeth.

you roll your eyes. “ohh, so it’s jealousy! why would i want to cheat on someone i’m in love with? you’re being extremely distrustful. take that shit out of my kitchen, suguru.”

“say that again,” he’s approaching you now, getou observing as you cross your arms and pretend to be unfazed by how much bigger he was compared to you. his bare feet thumps along the floor as he nears you, hands in the pockets of his dark washed jeans, shoulders broad as he stared down at you darkly. now your body’s pressed up against the kitchen counter, turning your head the opposite way to avoid eye contact.

“suguru,” you stand on what you say, uncaring. your husband deviously grins.

getou kisses his teeth smugly. you practically moan when his hand grips your jaw to bring your attention back, fingers denting into your cheeks to make your lips pout, head tilted back. “watch that mouth of yours. there’s no need to be bratty.”

teeth sinks into your lips he gawks at for a split second before meeting your eyes again. a feeble noise comes from you as he swiftly pulls up your white sundress, hands on the backs of your thighs to spread you open, fingers pulling your pussy open. not surprised to see you weren't wearing underwear. really, that pisses him off even further. it’s windy out and you were engaging in conversation with that man knowing your pussy was bare. he wants to laugh, seeing how wet you are already. fucking nympho. even though you’re mad, you can’t ignore how hot his touch makes you. you gulp, holding onto the edge of the counter as your gut flips after he crouched on one knee.

his breath hits your clit, and instantly your thighs tremble, getou slowly sticking his tongue out his mouth, wide, long, and slick with saliva. it hovers over your clit, barely touching it. part of you wants to grab his hair and shove him down, but the look in his eyes says not to try it. his fingers come up to your face, extending two of the long digits inside of your mouth. you suck obediently, moaning around them while rolling forward towards his, aching for it. his free hand smacks your inner thigh causing you to release his fingers and whimper, getou wasting zero time and curling them deep into you, shaking them frivolously as his lips suction on your clit, kissing your pussy deeply, using so much saliva.

his stare is hard on you the entire time, wrist moving instantaneously as he fucks you with them. he’s having a ball watching you wither and roll your hips, squealing and raising your thighs higher to your chest, listening to his fingers slam into you, that gushing sound of your pussy coating his fingers.

"c-can’t. . .”

"shut up," briskly, he pulls his fingers out and spanks your clit with them, standing to his feet, towering over you. you rest your head back against the wall by the window, shifting your body since your ass hurt a little from being on a granite countertop.

most of his words are blocked out as you watch the sexually pent-up man drag his pants down until they sit at his waist, pussy clenching at the dark pubic hairs sticking out, lust in your eyes as his veiny, big hand fists his cock. the thick vein leading up to the crown leaking precum makes you smile hazily.

"look at me when i’m talking to you."

you're too fucking mesmerized by him. his slightly dirty white tshirt is hiked up now, godly sculpted abs enticing you to run your fingers over them with a giddy laugh. getou tilts his head to the side, clenching his jaw.

"hey," he calls to you, snapping his fingers twice in your face, voice deeper than usual. you can see that he's not up for bullshit. he’s arched over you, hair sticking to his forehead as he places his right hand on your lower back, arching into him until your chest presses against his. "listen to me when i talk to you, woman.”

the smell of his skin is intoxicating, reaching your hands behind him to claw at his ass, open mouth on his chin, moaning as he slides deep into you, looking down at you with a groan escaping his throat, furrowing his thick brows. getou tries not to lose it, because despite his frustration, there's no way he could deny just how fucking good you felt pulling him deep right now. you hold tight, eyes hazy as he pounds into you without another word, arm stretching over to press his palm on the cabinet above, balancing himself and dragging you to meet him thrust for thrust.

"pussy so needy for me. it fuckin’ better be,” please shut up, is what you think. his voice is too damn addictive, and the way he fucks you, virulently, like he fucking despised you . . . you didn't know if you could take much more. the other half of your brain is the opposite, thanking him over and over.

"oh, look, princess. there’s your favorite man,” it doesn't register that the two of you are legit fucking near an open window where anyone could see. “let’s say hi, baby."

unsure why he came back, it only takes ten seconds for your sweet gardener to immediately be swept with trauma, catching a glimpse at the two of you, getou’s dark eyes burning into him while yours are shut to hide the embarrassment, stomach still flipping with rouse. his fingers has your jaw locked still to keep your fucked out face in the direction of the man who’s nothing short of unimpressed. tasteless, he thinks. wasting no time and turning away to hop back inside of his truck, only coming because he forgot to give you back the key to your garage. his lips are by your ear now. "looks like we’ll have to hire someone else.”

"you’re s-so . . . mean,” it’s the only thing you can think of, trembling and yanking your face out of his grasp. you wanna say you hate him, but deep down you knew this is what you've been craving all along. he’s exactly how you wanted him to be; lecherous. "fuck, can’t stand you.”

"you love me, sweetheart,” he coed, you hiccup. sobbing as he throws one of your legs over his arm, angling his hips slightly to the right and hitting into you faster, rolling your neck back, listening to how viscous his skin claps with your own, and his breath fans over your face.

"awe," he pouts, giving your forehead a chaste kiss. "y‘not gonna say it back?”

“d’nt deserve it,” you’re slurring your words and it pisses you off how dumb he makes you. his hand is around your neck now, choking you until you feel the blood rushing to your skull, luring the back of your own hand to your lips, using it as some sort of blockage for how loud you were being. louder than usual.

inching his lips towards yours, he studies how desperate you are to latch your lips with his, only for him to snatch them away. “then you don’t deserve my kiss.”

a frustrated whine leaves your throat, getou humming tauntingly, delicately skimming his bitten red lips over yours with a moan following along with a whispered ‘no’. tightening his lock around your neck, he rolls his hips deeper, your hand clutching his wrist with tears in your eyes. “not until you tell me you love me.”

you gently sink your teeth into the back of your hand, getou leaning closer before sloppily kissing at your palm where your lips rested, an evil stare painted his expression. he sucks, licks, and moans on your hand, knowing you were wishing he'd do that to your mouth instead. fuck, that was enough to get you to the breaking point. thighs trembling as you drop your mouth open, nothing coming out.

"wait, are you gonna cum?" his mouth upturns as he widens his eyes and mouth with fake surprise. "you’re cumming, aren't you? don’t cum. if you cum, i’ll stop."

"suguru, fucking stop—"

"stop what, huh? why you talkin' back?" shoving his thumb in your mouth, he fucks you harder, body jolting as your eyes roll back and your mouth drools, clutching his wrist harder to keep him there. "weren't you gonna cum?"

"yessss!" you wail, tears falling down your eyes. that coil in the pit of your stomach is ready to snap, getou’s sadistic voice ringing in your ears as he praises you, hips ramming harder to get you to break, clutching the back of his neck and screaming into his chest, giving him the answer he wants, riding the wave. "love you. love you.”

“good girl, good girl,” he proceeds to fuck you through it, just enough until you're pushing at his stomach to stop, kissing up the side of his neck drunkenly. getou slides out of you, holding back a moan before he's grabbing your hand and pulling you off the counter, holding your waist so you don't fall over.

"knees, now."

you're more than happy to lower to your knees, already knowing what to prepare for, lulled, teary eyes focusing on him and the slick coated cock stretching over your face. you hold onto the back of his thighs, widening your mouth and sticking your tongue out, getou holding your head still before gliding his dick inside the cave of heat now inundating him, jaw dropping, using the other hand to hold the cabinet once more and mercilessly fucking your throat. his moans are coarse, grunting and throwing his head back, hips stuttering as he holds you still and shoots deep in your mouth, cursing thousands of times he nearly filled the dictionary.

"swallow it and show me," and you do, without hesitation, sticking your tongue out proudly and it makes getou even prouder. "that’s my girl."

"whatever," you wipe the side of your mouth, getou lifting you off the floor, legs still too weak to function.

“there’s that mouth again, sweetheart. cut it short before i fuck you harder,” oh, he’s serious. that darkness in his eyes telling you not to try it again.

“s-sorry, baby. love you,” you give him those pretty doe eyes he falls weak to, rubbing your hands over his waist while placing your chin on his chest. batting your lashes innocently.

getou hums. “tell me that after you get rid of that fuckin’ gardener.”

© 𝒮𝒯𝟦𝑅𝐵𝒲𝑅𝑅𝒴! all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life ♡

[rafey-baby]

sweet treat 5

Shy!reader really wants to tell construction worker!rafe how she feels but what if he doesn’t feel the same?  

cw: the L-word, mostly fluff, reader being an overthinker and getting a little jealous, pda

wc: 2.3k 

hi! this is the last part of sweet treat (might write some extras but I make no promises) and just wanted to say how much I appreciate everyone who reads my stuff. the first part was my first proper piece of writing I posted on this account and I was overjoyed by the warm welcome and all the kind comments, asks & reblogs (nothing goes unnoticed by me!) so thank you so so much for being so lovely <33  

hope you enjoy xx 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been exactly two weeks since she came to terms with the fact that she’s in love with him. She hasn’t been able to sleep all that well and has tried her very best to avoid Rafe, albeit fruitlessly since he insists on driving her home from work every day and on top of that, he often invites himself over to her house or asks for her to stay the night at his; not accepting her excuses about being tired and having to wake up early.  

”Why don’t we just…be tired and wake up early together, then?” His grin is playful when he argues with her reasoning. And how is she meant to refuse that? 

And if all that wasn’t already suffocating her, of course he’s now helping with the renovation of the cafe since her boss wanted to expand the business; make the small coffee shop into a bigger one in hopes of more space for new tables and seats because the amount of clients they got was beginning to be too much for everyone to comfortably enjoy their stay.

Therefore, she now has to practically work in the same building as him every single day because the renovation work isn’t disturbing the current cafe from running nor decreasing the number of customers with a sweet tooth or a craving for their usual morning coffee from strutting in.  

This wouldn’t be a problem, if Rafe wasn’t walking around all sweaty and dusty, biceps bulging whenever he’d lift wooden planks over his shoulder or carry around different equipment; looking as attractive as ever.

And with these newfound lovey-dovey feelings trying to break through the surface, she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to stop herself from ogling him or keep her rapid heartbeats to herself whenever he wanders over to chat with her on his breaks.  

She tries to act as normal as she can, but she can tell that he’s picking up on her excessive rambling and stuttering, flushed cheeks and anxious fingers fixing her hair every two seconds whenever he’s talking to her.

She’s certain he can see right through her, knows that she’s hiding something. She can practically see how he wants to bring it up more often than not but seemingly hasn’t found the right way to approach the subject yet and she can sense that she’s running out of time; can’t tolerate lying to him for much longer.  

She’s been thinking this whole thing through over and over, to the point of her head hurting as she bakes Rafe’s favorite lemon raspberry cookies as a distraction and because he’s been working so hard and she wants to surprise him; see the soft smile that makes the whole world glitter whenever he graces her with it.

She wants to tell him, wants him to know how deeply she feels for him, how much she appreciates him but every time she tries to open her mouth, the words seem to evaporate before they’ve even begun to sprout on her nervous tongue.  

What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if this is all just a casual thing for him and she’s making it into something more than it is? These bleak thoughts turn her mood sour; a pout forming on her lips as she concentrates on topping the flamingo pink icing covering their most popular vanilla cupcakes with fresh blueberries.  

As she’s taking out Rafe’s cookies out the oven, she comes to the conclusion that she has two options; she either tells him she’s in love with him or she doesn’t. If she tells him, there’s a very high possibility of him looking at her with a crease between his brows and words about not wanting for this to be anything serious hitting her against the face.

And if she doesn’t tell him, then…well she doesn’t really have anything to lose, does she? Except maybe the what ifs haunting her for the rest of eternity.  

She tries to get rid of these tormenting thoughts with a shake of her head as she sets the cookies off to cool down and begins to place the finished cupcakes onto the display counter, trying her hardest to forget about it all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Later that day when Rafe is contently munching on the cookies she plated for him and happily distracting her from work, someone approaches the counter; a girl with glossy lips and shiny hair.  

”Hi, could I get a mango matcha latte, please?” Her eyes are as green as grass as she places her order. 

”Of course, would you like it with ice or no ice?”  

”With ice, please,” she answers in a friendly manner.  

”Coming right up,” she gives the girl a polite smile when her payment goes through.  

”You’re working on the renovation?” The girl’s attention then turns towards Rafe, making Y/N’s gaze flicker over to them as she puts blended mango into the bottom of a tall glass. 

”Yeah, the cafe’s gon’ be twice as big as it’s now,” his gravelly voice drawls, putting the half-eaten baked good down.  

”That’s so cool, I’ve always wondered how construction workers are so strong. Do you go to the gym a lot?” A saccharine voice reaches Y/N’s ears, making her brows furrow as she’s measuring the right amount of matcha powder and trying to appear nonchalant.  

”Uh, yeah, yeah. Also think my workdays sometimes count as workouts,” he scratches the back of his head as she lets out a giggle. It wasn’t that funny, Y/N thinks with a roll of her eyes.  

”Hey, I was actually wondering if maybe you’d wanna hang out sometime? Could give you my number?”  

Something muddy swirls in her stomach at the girl’s straightforward question. She doesn’t appreciate the fact that she’s blatantly hitting on Rafe right in front of her. Even if she’s well aware that they’re not together and the girl probably assumed they were just friends, which they are.

However, she can’t prevent herself from turning grumpy from the mere notion of him being interested in someone else. After all, the girl is stunning and she wouldn’t really blame him if he wanted to at least consider her offer.    ”Nah, I’m actually not available right now,” he offers an apologetic smile when the girl’s shoulders slump.  

”No? That’s a shame. Well, let me know when that changes?” She gives him a flirty smile that makes Y/N quietly scoff as she pours the milk into the mix. 

”It’s not changing anytime soon,” she mutters under her breath, making both of them turn their heads towards her.  

”Sorry?” The girl asks, muted jade settling on her suddenly tense form. Fuck, did she really say that out loud? 

”Oh, um— just that…here’s your drink,” she peeps out, feeling Rafe’s eyes burning into the side of her face as she sticks a paper straw into the beverage; the ice cubes clinking together when she hands it out to her.  

”Right, thanks,” she says looking over to Rafe once more, seemingly expecting him to give her an answer of his own. 

”Uh…yeah, what she said. Not changing anytime soon,” his grin is wide, making the girl’s cheeks flush as she hurriedly leaves. 

And when it’s just the two of them again, she flits her eyes down, busying herself with a wooden container of tea bags she’s trying to organize, not wanting to face him. 

”What was, uh…what was that about?” His tone is teasing, an annoying smirk playing along his features. 

”Nothing,” she quickly dismisses, avoiding his gaze. 

”Nothing? You’re telling me you weren’t just really fucking jealous two seconds ago?” 

”N—no,” she can’t even convince herself with the pitiful denial. 

”Don’t worry, I’m all yours, alright?” He chuckles as he stuffs the rest of the cookie down his maw.

”How did you know I was craving these, by the way?” He asks around the mouthful as she tries to brush aside the sudden tingle in her ribcage and the blush dusting over her cheeks.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

A few days later when her shift is coming to an end, her other coworker already beginning to take orders and telling her she’s free to go, she drags Rafe behind the counter and practically forces him to taste test a new recipe she’s tried out; a walnut carrot cake with lime buttercream.

”Wow, this is…amazing. The lime gives this fresh sourness to the frosting, it’s so good,” his voice is muffled by his chewing and her heart warms in response to his detailed commentary, never one to shy away from showering her in compliments. 

”You think so? I actually added the lime just cause I know how much you like citrus fruits so, I’m really glad you like it,” she beams up at him. 

”Yeah? Made this just for me, huh? Can I ask why I’m getting this special treatment all of a sudden?” His tone is playful, tongue licking over his bottom lip to clean up the bit of icing lingering there.  

”Well, cause I love you and—“ she blurts out and then her entire body tenses; mouth hanging open in chock and wide eyes slowly moving to look at him, trying to verify whether he heard it or not. Of course he did. She wasn’t exactly quiet now, was she?  

“You…you love me?” His brows raise in surprise. 

“Uh…I— I didn’t mean to…I mean, you probably don’t feel the same so doesn’t really matter. Just— um...just forget I said that. I don’t know why I—”  

“What are you talking about? You think I spend most of my time with you cause I…what? Dislike you? You can be so silly sometimes, you know?” He scoffs, setting the golden fork down on the porcelain plate. 

She stays silent.

“What I’m saying is that I’m obsessed with you. I mean, you’re even in my fucking dreams, right? But listen, love has always been a little…tricky for me to grasp onto cause my relationship with my family has always been…complicated? But if me wanting to spend every second of my day with you means I love you too then, shit, maybe I do. But I need some time before I can really say that shit, you get that?” His words are honest and raw and she thinks her rattling heart is going to beat out of her chest.

“Oh. I— um…yeah, of course. Take all the time you need,” she finally manages out.

“Hey, c’mere,” he says before he’s practically dragging her dumbfounded form into his embrace; beefy arms pushing her flush against his chest with a steadying grip on her waist.  

“I mean, we’re basically already dating at this point, no? Wasn’t sure how to make it official without freaking you out but since you love me, I think you’re all good, yeah?”

She croons something incoherent in response.

“So, wanna be my little girlfriend or what?” He asks into her hair. 

“I— of course I do,” she mumbles against his shirt.  

“Yeah?”  

“Mhm,” She hums before he tucks an index finger under her chin and raises her face to look up at him; thumb toying with her bottom lip before he’s leaning down and smearing a sloppy kiss against her mouth.  

“Shit, you’re so cute. Just wanna swallow you whole sometimes,” he murmurs with a soft smile tugging at his lips and blue hydrangeas twinkling with something syrupy in them.  

“I love you,” she mumbles, almost inaudible; words still too tender to consciously say out loud.  

“Say it again,” he practically demands. 

“Um…I love you,” her voice is nearly a whisper. 

“What was that? Think you can say it a little louder?” He teases.  

“Rafe, stop…you’re embarrassing me,” she whines, cheeks coloring over with a strawberry hue.  

“No, I’m not. Just wanna hear you say it,” his smirk is all big and smug and it makes her huff.

“ILOVEYOU, okay?” The words mesh together like fluffy clouds in the sky and her volume is louder than he’s probably ever heard it, a couple of curious heads turn to look at them, the lively chatter around them quieting down some.  

“Yeah? You guys heard that? She loves me!” He’s nearly shouting, looking around with a stupid grin on his face, making her flush and hide behind her hands as a few customers cheerfully titter in entertainment. 

”Congrats, dude!” Someone even yells.  

“Oh my god, Rafe. Why would you do that?” Her mortified eyes widen as she crouches down; trying to find shelter from behind the pale yellow counter. ”I’m never leaving my house again,” she complains with a glare.  

He doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by the whole thing, simply chuckling with dimples denting his cheeks; the light-hearted sound making her stomach flutter despite the humiliation crawling up her spine and making her want to vanish into the cracks on the floorboards.  

“Of course you are. I’m your boyfriend now which means I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow, yeah?” He lifts her up with a grip on her waist, pulling her flush against him as his devious fingertips slip underneath the hem of her shirt, smoothing over her bare stomach and making her let out a squeak.

Then he’s grasping her jaw in one hand and pressing his mouth on hers once again; her protests withering away like a dead rose when he slips his tongue past her lips, dragging out an involuntary whimper from her.  

She pulls away, hiding her face in his chest when she can feel multiple pairs of eyes staring at them. 

”Rafe, can we just go already?” She pleads with her voice small before he’s guiding her out of the coffee shop with a big palm resting on her back, calming her down some.  

And despite the little scene he just caused, she thinks she might just be the happiest girl on the island as he helps her climb into his truck with a honeyed kiss warming the apple of her cheek.

[03jyh23]

🌃⌇night, interrupted┆jung wooyoung

neighbor!non-idol!wooyoung x reader ft. non-idol!yeosang

│synopsis: you owe a favor to your annoying neighbor

│genre: enemies to lovers

│trigger warnings: wooyoung and yeosang are bisexual, party-themed, alcohol consumption, mature language, excessive use of ''princess''

│words: 10.4 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

│requested prompts are bold

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! i'm ashamed to confess that this request has been sitting in my inbox since april :( i'm so sorry it took me so long to get to it, but i had so many different ideas about where this story should go. i'm thinking about re-opening my requests soon. as always i hope you will enjoy it!

love, monika ♡

i’d be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

"What are you even doing here?" you asked, your voice laced with surprise and a hint of annoyance. You had opened the door expecting to see anyone but him. But there he was, Wooyoung, the last person on earth you wanted to see on a Saturday night, or whenever to be honest. He stood there, a smirk playing on his lips as he leaned casually against the door frame. His eyes held a playful glint that contrasted with the seriousness of your tone.

"It’s nice to see you too, Y/N" he greeted, his voice light and cheerful. He smiled brightly at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners, completely unfazed by your cold tone and unamused expression. His nonchalance in the face of your clear displeasure made the situation all the more irritating for you.

"What on earth are you doing here, Wooyoung?" You demanded, your voice was stern and serious. You crossed your arms over your chest, your gaze never leaving his face.

"Oh, as lovely as ever, aren't you?" Wooyoung quipped, rolling his eyes theatrically. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he leaned against the door frame with a nonchalant air. His gaze, however, held an undeniable intensity. "Get ready, we've got places to be," he added, his tone light but laced with an underlying seriousness.

"Wait, what?" You spluttered, taken aback by his unexpected command. "Wooyoung, you can't just barge in here and..." He pushed past you slightly to enter your apartment, his confident demeanor not wavering in the slightest.

"Oh, but I can, and I just did," he replied, brushing past you with a smirk. His audacity left you momentarily speechless as you watched him stroll into your apartment as if he owned the place.

"Excuse me?" you managed to stutter out, turning around to face him. Wooyoung had already made himself comfortable on your couch, his long legs on your coffee table.

"Hey, don't look at me like that," he finally said, "I just thought it'd be nice to spend some time together." You were left speechless once again, your mind trying to process his words. Spend time together? You weren't sure if he was being serious or just messing with you. Wooyoung looked at you from head to toe, judging your old leggings and oversized hoodie, not to mention your messy hair. You had planned to stay in, enjoy some wine, and watch a cringe-worthy romance movie, but he had interrupted your plans. "Are you planning to get ready or are you intending to leave looking like that?" he asked, his voice ringing with a clear note of dislike for your current attire.

"Don’t you have like, you know… friends?" you blurted out, your voice barely masking the irritation that had been simmering within you. As the words escaped your lips, you could feel a rush of heat flooding your body. You were certain your ears were all red by now, the heat of your annoyance manifesting physically. "Actually, I was enjoying my solitude until you showed up." You snapped, your hands on your hips as you glared at him.

Wooyoung simply responded, "Well, you'll have to put that on hold, we have plans."

"Why in the world, among all the people I could possibly have plans with, would you think that I have any intention to spend my time with you?" You retorted, your voice thick with frustration and disbelief. The absurdity of the situation was growing by the minute and the disbelief in your voice reflected your incredulity.

Wooyoung simply shrugged his shoulders, his eyes twinkling with amusement at your evident irritation. A smirk played on his lips as he casually replied, "Because you owe me one." His nonchalant response left you momentarily speechless.

Your mind momentarily went back to the night two weeks ago. Your classes had ended late in the evening, and the rain was pouring heavily. You couldn't believe how, in the span of a few hours, a lovely summer day had transformed into a raging rainstorm. You were wearing light, summer-appropriate clothing, and, of course, you hadn't brought an umbrella. In fact, you didn't even own one. As you stood at the entrance of the university building, the rain came down in torrents, drenching everything in sight. The prospect of walking home in such weather was daunting, and you sighed in frustration, knowing you'd be soaked to the skin by the time you reached your apartment. Just then, you heard a familiar voice calling your name. Turning around, you saw Wooyoung, holding a large umbrella that provided a stark contrast to the stormy night. He approached you with a smirk, his usual playful glint in his eyes.

"Need a ride home?" he asked, raising his voice above the sound of the rain. You wanted to reject his offer, wanted to tell him to go away and leave you alone. But as he turned to leave, a teasing grin on his face, you found yourself chasing after him.

"Wait!" you called out, your voice barely heard over the sound of the rain. He stopped and turned back to look at you, an amused smile on his face. You hesitated for a moment before stepping under the umbrella, your body instinctively moving closer to his for warmth.

Wooyoung chuckled softly as you stepped under the umbrella, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I knew you couldn't resist," he teased, holding the umbrella a little higher to shield both of you from the downpour.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't suppress a smile. "You're lucky it's raining," you muttered, though your tone lacked any real annoyance. As you walked to his car, the rain continued to fall relentlessly, the streets quickly becoming rivers of water. Wooyoung's presence, however, provided a surprising comfort, the proximity of his body heat a welcome relief from the chill in the air. Once you reached the car, Wooyoung quickly unlocked it and held the umbrella for you as you climbed into the passenger seat. He folded the umbrella and slid into the driver's seat, shaking the water from his hair before starting the engine. The warmth of the car's interior enveloped you, and you sighed in contentment, grateful for the reprieve from the storm outside.

Wooyoung glanced at you as he pulled out of the parking lot. "You look like a drowned rat," he remarked with a grin, his tone lighthearted.

You shot him a mock glare. "Thanks for the compliment," you replied sarcastically, but the corners of your mouth twitched upwards.

The drive home was mostly quiet, save for the sound of rain pattering against the windows. When Wooyoung finally pulled up in front of your apartment building, you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

"Thanks for the ride," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

As you stepped out of the car and into the rain, you heard Wooyoung call after you. "You owe me one now!" His voice was playful, but there was an underlying note of sincerity.

"Right, I owe you a favor," you muttered, your annoyance momentarily replaced by resignation. Despite your irritation, you couldn't deny that he was correct. "You could at least have the decency to call ahead."

Wooyoung laughed at that, a genuine, hearty laugh that echoed throughout your apartment. "Where's the fun in that, Y/N?" he retorted, his smile never faltering as he met your gaze.

You sighed, realizing that arguing with Wooyoung was akin to talking to a brick wall. "Fine," you said, throwing your hands up in surrender. "But if we're going out, I need to change. And you," you pointed at him, "need to get your feet off my coffee table."

Wooyoung chuckled but complied, swinging his legs off the table with a dramatic flourish. "Take your time, princess," he said, smirking at your annoyed expression. You rolled your eyes at his comment but nonetheless retreated to your bedroom to change into something more suitable for a night out.

Just as you were closing the door behind you, Wooyoung called after you, "And no leggings!" You groaned, but a small smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. As you moved towards the mirror, you took a moment to look at your reflection. Your hair was a mess from the day, and you knew it would take some time to style it into something presentable. You sighed, looking at the makeup products scattered across your dressing table. Getting ready for a party that you knew nothing about was indeed a challenge.

"How much time do I have?" you shouted from your bedroom.

Wooyoung glanced at his watch, a smirk playing on his lips. "Let's say twenty minutes. Can you manage that?" he called out, his voice filled with amusement.

"How the fuck am I supposed to get ready for a party in twenty minutes?" you shouted back, a hint of panic creeping into your voice.

"Well, I can make it fifteen just for you, princess," Wooyoung laughed, his amusement clear in his voice. Even though he couldn't see you, you rolled your eyes at his comment. The audacity of this man. Despite the irritation bubbling within you, you knew you had to hurry. You started rummaging through your wardrobe for a suitable outfit, cursing under your breath. Meanwhile, Wooyoung lounged comfortably on your couch, scrolling through his phone while occasionally glancing towards your bedroom door.

After what seemed like an eternity, you finally emerged from your bedroom. You had managed to throw together a decent outfit, and even though you had rushed your makeup, it didn't look half bad. Wooyoung looked up from his phone as you entered the room, his eyes raking over your figure. He let out a low whistle, a grin spreading across his face. "Not bad, Y/N. Didn't know you could clean up so well."

You rolled your eyes at his comment but couldn't help the blush that crept up your cheeks. "Whatever, Wooyoung. Let's just get this over with." With a chuckle, Wooyoung rose from the couch, offering you his arm. You looked at him, disbelief and irritation evident in your gaze. His casual demeanor and the playful smirk on his face only added to the absurdity of the situation. You found yourself stuck between wanting to laugh it off and wanting to kick him out. But, swallowing down the lump of frustration in your throat, you pushed his extended arm back. You then reached for the door handle yourself, pulling it open with more force than was necessary. Without a backward glance, you stepped out into the hallway, leaving a rather surprised Wooyoung behind in your apartment.

Wooyoung finally caught up with you, a surprised yet amused expression on his face. "Well, aren't we eager?" he said, chuckling at your obvious irritation. Despite your annoyance, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him, a small smile playing on your lips. With a huff, you began to march towards the parking lot, your steps quick and purposeful with Wooyoung following close behind. The glimmer of satisfaction you felt when you heard him struggling to keep up with your pace was short-lived as he effortlessly caught up, a grin playing on his lips.

"Slow down, Y/N. It's not a race," he called out, his voice filled with amusement. You ignored him, continuing your steady pace towards his car. The parking lot was dimly lit, the only source of light being the faint glow from the streetlights. Wooyoung's car stood out against the mostly empty lot. You stopped abruptly in front of it, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited for him to unlock the doors. Wooyoung, still wearing that annoying smirk, took his time in reaching the driver's side. He pulled out his keys, twirling them around his finger in a show of nonchalance before finally pressing the unlock button. The car beeped in response, the headlights flashing briefly.

"Your chariot awaits, princess," Wooyoung said, his voice filled with laughter as he gestured for you to enter. Despite your annoyance, you couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at his behavior, shaking your head in disbelief as you got into the car. Wooyoung followed suit, sliding into the driver's seat. His smirk still in place, Wooyoung started the car, the engine purring to life.

"We have places to be!" you mocked him, the sound of your high heel echoing in the car as you tapped your foot impatiently. Wooyoung simply laughed, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he drove off into the night. As he drove, the soft glow from the dashboard illuminated his face, casting a warm light on his features. Your eyes drifted to his hands on the steering wheel, fingers deftly maneuvering the vehicle through the night. The veins on the back of his hands were prominent, adding a sense of raw masculinity that you found yourself inexplicably drawn to. Your gaze then moved up to his chiseled jawline, the faint stubble that lined it giving him a rugged charm. You watched as the muscles in his jaw clenched and unclenched, a subtle sign of his concentration on the road ahead. His eyes, though, were what captivated you the most. Looking at them through the rearview mirror, you noticed how they were intensely focused on the road, reflecting the faint glimmer of the streetlights. The seriousness on his face was a stark contrast to his usual playful demeanor. Despite yourself, you felt a pang of appreciation for this side of him. It was a silent moment of admiration that you allowed yourself. You quickly averted your gaze when he caught your reflection in the rearview mirror, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Wooyoung couldn't resist asking, "Like what you see, princess?"

His comment snapped you out of your reverie. "Keep your eyes on the road, Wooyoung," you retorted, your cheeks heating up at his insinuation. His soft chuckle filled the car, but he didn't push it any further.

After a few minutes of a silent ride, you finally broke the silence. "Can you tell me now where we are going?" you asked, your voice filled with curiosity and a hint of annoyance. You could see him smirking from the corner of your eye, clearly finding amusement in your impatience.

Wooyoung glanced at you, his smirk widening. "You'll see when we get there," he replied cryptically. His evasive answer only fueled your curiosity and irritation.

"Wooyoung, I swear if you're taking me to some shady place..." you threatened, but he simply laughed, cutting you off.

"Relax, Y/N. It's nothing like that," he reassured, his tone light but his gaze serious when he looked at you.

After a short ride, Wooyoung finally pulled up at your destination, you were even more confused than before.

"Whose house is this?" you asked, taking a glance around the unfamiliar neighborhood. Wooyoung let out a soft chuckle before unbuckling his seatbelt. He turned to look at you, his usual smirk replaced with a gentle smile.

"Do you remember Mingi?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he watched your reaction closely. "He shared a class with us last year. He's quite tall, with short-cropped blonde hair." He let the words hang in the air, watching as you tried to recall this Mingi he was referring to.

You blinked, trying to recall someone fitting the description Wooyoung gave. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but you struggled to place him among the many faces you encountered during your classes last year. "Um, Mingi?" you repeated uncertainly, furrowing your brows as you searched your memory. "I think I remember someone like that, but I didn't really know him well."

"Then it's high time you get to know him. It's his birthday party," Wooyoung stated with a broad smile as he stepped out of the car. He left you momentarily, walked around to open your door, and offered his hand.

You looked at his outstretched hand and then up at his expectant face. A sigh escaped your lips before you finally gave in, placing your hand in his. "Alright, let's get this over with," you muttered, allowing Wooyoung to lead the way.

As you entered the house, you were immediately hit with the loud music and chatter of what seemed like a hundred people. Wooyoung instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist, presumably to prevent you from getting lost in the crowd. However, you weren't in the mood for his overbearing actions, so you pushed him away with your elbow, giving him a stern look.

"I can handle myself, Wooyoung," you said, pulling away from him. His smirk remained unfazed as he raised his hands in a sign of surrender.

"As you wish, princess," he replied, his tone laced with amusement. You rolled your eyes at his nickname for you but didn't comment on it. The party was in full swing, with people dancing and chatting. The atmosphere was electric, the house filled with laughter and the sound of clinking glasses. Wooyoung guided you through the crowd, introducing you to a few people along the way. You greeted them politely, but your mind was elsewhere. "There's Mingi," Wooyoung pointed out, nodding towards a tall guy who was surrounded by a group of people. He had short blonde hair, just like Wooyoung described. When he saw you both, his face lit up and he excused himself from the group to come greet you.

"Wooyoung, Y/N, glad you guys could make it," Mingi greeted, his voice loud over the music. He had a warm smile, and his eyes were bright with excitement. You exchanged pleasantries with Mingi and wished him a happy birthday. Despite your initial reluctance, you found yourself gradually warming up to the atmosphere. "I'll get you guys some drinks." Before you could protest, he was already up and heading towards the makeshift bar at the far end of the room. This left you with Wooyoung and a bunch of Mingi's friends, all of whom seemed to know each other well. You took a deep breath and introduced yourself, trying your best to engage in the conversation. Despite your initial hesitation, they were all friendly and welcoming, which eased your mind slightly.

Before you knew it, Mingi returned with a tray of drinks. He handed you a glass filled with a brightly colored cocktail, the ice clinking against the glass. "Try this," he suggested, his eyes twinkling with excitement. You took a cautious sip, the taste of the alcohol strong but not unpleasant. The cocktail was fruity and sweet, the alcohol nicely masked by the flavors. It warmed your throat and seemed to seep into your veins, easing your tension and allowing you to relax slightly. You smiled and thanked Mingi, who returned the gesture with a broad grin.

As the night continued, you found yourself engrossed in conversation, drinking more colorful cocktails, laughing, and exchanging stories with Mingi and other of his friends. Mingi was particularly charming, his pleasant demeanor making it easy for you to feel at ease around him. Yet, occasionally, your gaze would shift to Wooyoung, and you couldn't help but notice how effortlessly he navigated through the conversation. His laughter, rich and contagious, echoed through the room, drawing people towards him like a magnet. The way he mingled and engaged with everyone, his energy infectious and his charisma undeniable, was truly a sight to behold. Whether it was his quick wit that left people laughing or his intriguing stories that captivated everyone's attention, Wooyoung was undeniably the life of the party. You found yourself watching him, your heart begrudgingly admitting the undeniable truth - Wooyoung was not only charming but also incredibly hard to resist.

At one point, Mingi turned to you with a genuine smile on his face, saying, "You know, I really wish I had gotten to know you better during our class. You're quite interesting." His compliment caught you off guard, but you managed to smile back, just as you were about to respond, you felt a sudden warmth around you. Startled, you turned to find Wooyoung, his arm comfortably resting on your waist. The unexpected contact surprised you, and you found yourself looking at him, an eyebrow raised in question. His eyes met yours, a playful smirk playing on his lips.

"What are you doing, Wooyoung?" you asked, trying to keep your voice casual despite the surprise coursing through you. Wooyoung simply shrugged, the smirk on his face not wavering in the slightest. He seemed to be enjoying your reaction, his eyes twinkling with an unspoken amusement. Deciding to ignore him, you turned back to the rest of the group, engaging in conversation about plans for the upcoming summer. Mingi eagerly shared his excitement about an upcoming trip, and you found yourself genuinely interested in hearing more. As you chatted, Wooyoung's grip around your waist tightened slightly, his body language conveying a subtle sense of protectiveness. Despite your initial irritation, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch. Mingi was still talking, his voice pleasant against the backdrop of the party music. Just as you were about to chime in with a comment, you felt Wooyoung lean in closer. His breath fanned across your ear as he whispered, "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

His words hit you like a sudden gust of wind, leaving you momentarily speechless. You turned to look at him, your eyes wide with shock. Wooyoung simply looked back at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. His bold statement left you feeling flustered. But despite your surprise, you couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your lips.

"Wooyoung, are you drunk?" you asked, your voice laced with concern and a hint of annoyance. His behavior tonight had been erratic at best, and you couldn't quite put a finger on what was causing it. Was it the party, the alcohol, or something else entirely? You weren't sure, and it was beginning to frustrate you. Wooyoung simply chuckled at your question, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Not at all, Y/N," he replied, his voice steady and his gaze unwavering. "But you can't deny that you do look beautiful tonight." His words, though unexpected, were sincere and you found yourself blushing under his intense gaze. You stared at him, trying to gauge his sincerity. His usual playful demeanor was still there, but there was something different in his eyes tonight. A depth that you hadn't noticed before.

"Is this another one of your tricks?" you asked, though your tone was more playful than accusatory.

"No tricks, Y/N. Just the truth," Wooyoung said, his eyes meeting yours with a sincerity that took you by surprise. His confident demeanor and the intensity of his gaze left you speechless.

"You're acting weird," you muttered, feeling a mix of confusion and curiosity. "What's gotten into you?"

Wooyoung shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. "Maybe I'm just tired of pretending," he said cryptically, his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your heart race.

"Pretending what?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You weren't sure you wanted to hear the answer, but you couldn't stop yourself from asking.

"That I don't care," he replied simply, his gaze unwavering. "That I don't think about you all the damn time. That I don't want to be more than just your annoying neighbor."

"Oh, shut up, won't you?" you found yourself saying, a mix of emotions flooding through you. His words had caught you off guard, causing your heart to race. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and you had to fight the urge to look away from his intense gaze.

In response, Wooyoung simply smirked. "Make me," he retorted, his voice low and taunting. He held your gaze, his eyes sparkling with an unreadable emotion. Then, slowly, his gaze drifted down from your eyes to your lips. For a moment, all you could do was stare back at him, your breath hitching as you realized what he was insinuating. The unexpected intensity of the moment left you breathless, your mind racing as you tried to process what was happening. His confession left you stunned. You had always thought Wooyoung's teasing was just part of his playful nature, never imagining that there might be something more behind it. The realization made your heart flutter and your mind race with questions.

"Wooyoung, I..." you started, but your words trailed off as you struggled to find the right thing to say. "I'm going to get myself a drink," you said, excusing yourself before Wooyoung could respond. You needed a moment to process everything he had just said. You quickly moved away, weaving through the crowd. As you navigated through the sea of people, you accidentally bumped into someone. As you prepared to apologize, you looked up. Your heart skipped a beat when you found yourself staring into familiar eyes – Yeosang's eyes. You caught your breath, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. It had been months since you last saw him.

From the moment you first saw Yeosang in your university class, something clicked inside you. He had an effortless grace about him, a quiet confidence that drew you in immediately. His smile was warm, his mannerisms gentle yet assured. You found yourself stealing glances at him during lectures, captivated by the way he listened intently, his eyes occasionally flickering up to meet yours. As the weeks passed, your admiration for Yeosang deepened. You began to look forward to seeing him, cherishing every opportunity to exchange a few words or share a laugh. However, your feelings remained unspoken. You didn't dare to confess your feelings to Yeosang, fearing that it might jeopardize the friendship you had cultivated or worse, make things awkward between you.

And then came Wooyoung, who joined one of your classes midway through the semester. He was charismatic, confident, and effortlessly charming. You didn't pay much attention to him beyond acknowledging his presence in class. But as weeks passed, you noticed a change in Yeosang. He seemed more distracted, often engaging in conversations with Wooyoung during breaks or after class. At first, you tried to brush it off but as weeks turned into months, it became increasingly clear that Yeosang was falling for Wooyoung. You watched from the sidelines as their friendship blossomed into something deeper, and it stung to realize that the person you liked was now enamored with someone else. You couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever you saw them together. It was the way Yeosang's eyes lit up when Wooyoung walked into the room, the way he laughed a little harder at Wooyoung's jokes, the way he seemed to gravitate towards him. It was these little things that made you realize just how much Yeosang liked Wooyoung. And it's not like you could blame him. Wooyoung was outgoing, charismatic, and undeniably attractive. But for you, it was difficult to see past the fact that he was the one who had swept your crush off his feet. And so, your dislike for Wooyoung was born more out of a sense of hurt and jealousy than anything else. You couldn't help but see him as the one who had taken away your chance with Yeosang. To make matters worse, Wooyoung seemed oblivious to the impact his presence had on your dynamics with Yeosang. Once Wooyoung and Yeosang made their relationship official, your friendship with Yeosang dwindled to non-existence. You were left alone to deal with your heartbreak, the sting of rejection, and the loss of friendship compounding your sorrow.

The sight of Wooyoung and Yeosang together became a bitter pill to swallow, a cruel reminder of your unfulfilled feelings for Yeosang. You missed the comforting presence of Yeosang. But more than anything, you missed the hope, the hope of maybe being something more than just friends with him. After your first year, you decided to switch groups to avoid seeing the boys together, and since then you haven’t seen Yeosang at all.

But as much as you wanted to avoid Wooyoung as well, it was harder than you imagined since he was your neighbor. Living so close to him meant that you often crossed paths, whether in the apartment lobby, the parking lot, or the local grocery store. Despite your best efforts to keep your distance, Wooyoung always seemed to find a way back into your life, you couldn't seem to escape him.

"Y/N?" Yeosang asked, his eyes wide as he scanned your face. "I haven't seen you in forever!" With one swift motion, he pulled you into a hug, leaving you utterly surprised. ''What are you doing here?'' Your mind raced with a mix of emotions – surprise, nostalgia, and a tinge of unresolved feelings. His warm embrace felt both familiar and foreign after months of absence, stirring memories of the friendship you had once shared before Wooyoung came into the picture.

"I could ask you the same thing," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady, pulling away from the hug, your heart pounding at the close contact.

Yeosang's smile was warm and genuine as he offered, "Would you mind grabbing a drink with me?" he extended his arm towards you and despite all the confusion swirling in your mind, you found yourself unable to resist the offer.

"Yeah, sure!" you agreed, smiling weakly at him. "But I think you need to know that Wooyoung is here as well." A few months ago, a mutual friend informed you that Yeosang and Wooyoung had broken up that’s why you said the last part with hesitation, watching for Yeosang’s reaction, unsure how he might feel given their history.

He blinked in surprise at your words, his face going slightly pale. "Wooyoung is here?" he echoed, his voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, biting your lip nervously. Yeosang took a deep breath, his gaze dropping to the floor. After what felt like an eternity, he finally looked up at you, a small smile on his face. "It's okay, Y/N," he said, his voice steady. "We ended things on good terms. It won't be awkward, I promise." Despite his reassurances, you could see the flash of pain in his eyes, a hint of the heartbreak he must have gone through.

You felt a pang of sympathy for him but didn't know what to say. Instead, you gave him a small smile, "Let's get that drink," you suggested, offering him a comforting smile. He nodded, his smile returning as he led you towards the makeshift bar.

As you navigated through the crowd, your mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Seeing Yeosang again stirred up old feelings, and Wooyoung's confession left you in a state of shock. Wooyoung's sudden confession surprised you. The two of you hardly spent time together after your feelings of jealousy took over, leading you to switch classes in an attempt to distance yourself. You lived in the same building so you'd sometimes meet him in the lobby, the parking lot, or the grocery store, but that was all. Any talks you had were short and you were often annoyed with him. It was clear you didn't like being around Wooyoung.

As you reached the makeshift bar, Yeosang took two glasses in his hands. "What do you feel like drinking?" he asked, his gaze turning to the drinks lined up on the counter.

"To be honest, a strong cocktail would be nice." you amended, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

"Alright, one strong cocktail coming right up." He said, his voice filled with amusement as he began to mix your drink. You watched him work, feeling a mix of nostalgia and nervousness. It was surreal being here with him after everything that had happened. Yeosang prepared two cocktails, handing one to you with a warm smile. You took a sip, the fruity tang of the drink temporarily distracting you from your thoughts.

"So, how's life treating you?" Yeosang asked, his tone was casual, but there was a genuine interest in his eyes.

"Busy," you replied with a small smile. "Classes are demanding, but I'm managing. How about you? How's everything been?"

"Pretty much the same. Classes, projects, the usual. I've been keeping myself occupied." There was a comfortable silence as you both took a moment to enjoy your drinks. The strong cocktail did wonders to calm your nerves, and you found yourself relaxing into the familiar rhythm of conversation with Yeosang.

"You know," Yeosang began, his voice softer, "I really missed our talks. It's been too long."

You looked at him, surprised by the honesty in his words. "I missed them too," you admitted, feeling a pang of regret for the time lost. "When I first heard that you and Wooyoung had broken up, I was secretly hoping you would reach out," you confessed, your gaze meeting his. There was a moment of silence as your words hung in the air. Yeosang blinked in surprise, clearly taken aback by your confession. He opened his mouth to say something but seemed to struggle to find the right words. You watched as a range of emotions flitted across his face - surprise, confusion, and then, slowly, understanding.

"I...I had no idea," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze dropped to his drink, his fingers absently tracing the rim of the glass. "I was so absorbed in my relationship with Wooyoung, that I didn't notice I was neglecting our friendship," Yeosang confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I didn't see you the whole summer, and then I found out you switched classes. I should have reached out, I know. But I was too caught up in my own feelings. I'm sorry, Y/N," Yeosang said, looking up at you with a sincere expression, his eyes filled with regret.

You were taken aback by his sudden apology, your heart aching at the sincerity in his voice. "It's okay, Yeosang," you reassured him, reaching out to gently squeeze his hand. "We were both dealing with our own stuff. But I'm glad we're talking now."

He looked up at you, his gaze soft. "I missed you, Y/N," he admitted, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry I didn't reach out sooner." Yeosang smiled, and for a moment, it felt like old times. "I'm glad we ran into each other tonight," he said sincerely.

You returned his smile, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "Me too, Sangie. Me too," you replied.

Little did you both know, a pair of eyes were watching your interaction from across the room.

As you continued to engage in conversation with Yeosang, you finally felt the alcohol hit. Your senses began to blur slightly, the room spinning a little. Yeosang's cheeks and ears had turned a shade of red, the alcohol clearly taking effect on him too. You couldn't help but admire his handsome face, his brown, styled hair adding to his charm. He looked like an angel under the soft glow of the lights, and you found yourself staring at him, losing focus on what he was saying. Your head was getting dizzy from the alcohol, and you found your body swaying slightly. Without thinking, you rested your head on Yeosang's shoulder, your arms linked as you continued talking. The warmth from his body was comforting, easing the spinning sensation in your head. As he spoke, you found yourself staring at his lips. They moved with each word, captivating you completely. You could see the faint stubble on his upper lip, the slight curve of his lower lip, the way they moved when he pronounced certain words. His voice was a soothing hum in your ears, the words gradually losing meaning as you got lost in your thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to close the distance, to taste the sweet alcohol on his lips. Your gaze flickered up to meet his, and for a moment, everything else seemed to fade into the background. Yeosang noticed the direction of your gaze and a faint blush colored his cheeks. He paused mid-sentence, his eyes meeting yours. His eyes held a softness that you hadn't seen in a long time, stirring a familiar warmth within you. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, the alcohol loosening the tight grip of restraint. Slowly, you leaned in closer, your eyes fluttering shut, the anticipation built up, a sweet tension hanging in the air. But just as your lips were about to meet, you were pulled up by your arm.

Startled, you opened your eyes to find Wooyoung standing beside you, his gaze burning into yours. "I think you've had enough to drink, Y/N," he said, his voice stern. His grip on your arm was firm yet gentle, pulling you away from Yeosang and towards him.

"What the hell, Wooyoung?" you slurred, struggling to maintain your balance. His sudden intrusion left you disoriented, your head spinning from the abrupt movement. His eyes held a strange intensity, an emotion you couldn't quite decipher.

Yeosang looked at the two of you, his expression mixed with confusion and a hint of disappointment. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it. Wooyoung couldn't help but gaze at Yeosang as well. His eyes held a strange mix of emotions that were hard to decipher. He watched as Yeosang looked back at him, a hint of confusion and disappointment in his gaze. This interaction was one Wooyoung had not anticipated, but he couldn't deny the protective instinct that had surged within him.

Wooyoung’s voice softened as he turned to Yeosang, "Are you alright?" he asked with concern. Yeosang simply nodded, his eyes still locked on Wooyoung and you, a lingering sadness evident in his gaze. Wooyoung tightened his hold around you, his voice barely above a whisper as he scolded Yeosang gently, "You shouldn't drink so much, you know you can't handle your alcohol well."

Yeosang ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that you recognized instantly. "Yeah, I know" he replied, his voice low and slightly shaky, "But I don't think it's your place to remind me, Wooyoung." His words carried a hint of bitterness that you hadn't heard from him before. Wooyoung flinched slightly, clear surprise flashing across his face. He nodded, falling silent as he tightened his hold on you once more.

"Can't I worry about you anymore?" Wooyoung asked, his voice clearly annoyed with the way this conversation was going.

Yeosang looked away, his expression hard to read. "You stopped having that right when we broke up, Wooyoung," he replied, his voice steady but filled with unspoken emotions. Wooyoung was taken aback, his grip on your arm loosening slightly.

His words carried a sting that caused Wooyoung to recoil slightly. "So, I loved you once and now I have to pretend we are strangers?" Wooyoung retorted, his voice tight with frustration. The tension between them was palpable, a stark reminder of the complex web of emotions and history that tied them together.

"No, Wooyoung. We're not strangers, but we're not lovers either. We're just two people who used to know each other very well," Yeosang replied, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. His gaze was steady, his words cutting through the tension like a knife. Wooyoung fell silent, his grip on your arm slackening as he digested Yeosang's words. "I better get going," Yeosang said, getting up from the couch. He tripped on his feet, momentarily losing his balance. He quickly steadied himself, giving you and Wooyoung one last glance before disappearing into the crowd.

After a while of uncomfortable silence, Wooyoung asked you, "Are you alright?" his voice filled with concern.

You turned to him, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I should be asking you this question," you replied, your gaze meeting his.

Wooyoung seemed taken aback by your response, but he quickly regained his composure. "I'm fine Y/N," he said, avoiding your gaze. "But are you?"

"I'm okay," you managed to say, the words coming out as a slur. You swayed slightly, your vision blurring as you tried to focus on Wooyoung's face. He sighed, his grip tightening around your waist.

"Let's get you some water," he suggested, his voice steady despite the concern on his face. He began to lead you away from the crowd, his hold on you firm yet gentle. You didn't protest, too dazed to argue.

Wooyoung led you outside, the cool night air hitting your face. It was a welcome relief from the heat of the party, the sounds of music and chatter fading into the background. He guided you to a nearby bench, helping you sit down before he sat beside you. You leaned back, closing your eyes as you tried to clear your head. The world was spinning around you, the effects of the alcohol more potent than you had anticipated. A moment of silence passed, the only sound being the distant hum of the party and your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.

"You shouldn't have drunk so much," Wooyoung finally broke the silence, his tone soft. You opened your eyes, turning to look at him. He was staring at you, his gaze filled with concern.

"Well, you shouldn't have dragged me to this party," you retorted, your voice coming out stronger than you intended.

"You're right, I shouldn't have," he agreed, his tone suddenly angry. He reached for the water bottle he had brought with him, handing it to you. You took it gratefully, taking small sips as you tried to sober up.

"What was that supposed to mean?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to comprehend his sudden change in tone. There was a distinct edge to his voice that you had never heard before - a hint of anger, perhaps even frustration.

His words hung in the air, their implications slowly sinking in as you tried to make sense of the situation. "I mean, I pour my heart out, confessing my fucking feelings to you, and then you just disappear. And when I find you, you're kissing my ex?" Wooyoung ruffled his hair in frustration, his words laced with a potent mix of anger and hurt.

"I did not kiss your ex," you managed to slur out, pausing to take a gulp of water in an attempt to clear your head.

Wooyoung's sudden shout startled you, causing you to nearly choke on your drink. "Fuck! Is that really the only thing you caught from everything I just said?" He was clearly frustrated, he took you by your arms, making you face him to make sure you were paying attention. "I'm confessing to you here, for fuck's sake. Do you understand?"

"Confessing?" you echoed, your mind struggling to process his words. "Wait, are you saying..." you trailed off, the realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. "You...you like me?" His confession left you reeling, a mix of shock and disbelief coursing through you.

Wooyoung simply stared at you for a moment, as if he was trying to read your thoughts. "Yes, Y/N," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I like you. I have for a while now." His words hung in the air, a confession that left you stunned "But here you are, chasing after my ex," Wooyoung's words had a bitter edge to them, his frustration evident in his voice. His confession was still ringing in your ears, adding to the surrealness of the situation. You stared at him, your mind racing to process his words. His confession was unexpected, but it started to make sense, explaining his unusual behavior throughout the night. Your heart pounded in your chest as you attempted to articulate a response. "It's funny," he said, a dry smile playing on his lips. "I always thought you hated me, and I could never figure out why." Wooyoung sighed, a soft chuckle escaping his lips despite the sadness clouding his eyes. "Now I know why," he admitted, his voice carrying a weight that was impossible to ignore. The words hung in the air, heavy with regret and understanding. His eyes held yours, a silent plea for understanding shimmering within their depths. "A fucking love triangle, for fuck's sake," Wooyoung chuckled, biting his lower lip in a mix of amusement and frustration. His heart pounded in his chest as the gravity of the situation sank in. Here he was, caught in a twisted love triangle with his ex and the girl he was falling for. The irony was not lost on him.

"Wooyoung, it's not what you think," you finally managed to say, your voice shaky. "I didn't mean to... I mean, I didn't plan on... with Yeosang... I was just... I don't know." You trailed off, your words failing to accurately convey the whirlwind of emotions within you. "I'm sorry, Wooyoung," you added, your voice barely above a whisper. The apology hung heavy in the air, a sincere admittance of your conflicted feelings. This was not how you imagined the night unfolding. The realization that you had been blind to his feelings all this time left you feeling more disoriented than the alcohol ever could. "Wooyoung," you began, your voice trembling slightly. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know." The look in his eyes softened a fraction, but the hurt was still there, raw and unfiltered.

He let out a heavy sigh, releasing his grip on your arms and stepping back. "How could you have known?" he muttered, more to himself than to you. "I never had the guts to tell you until now. And when I finally do, it's at the worst possible moment." His words were filled with a raw honesty that took you by surprise, leaving you speechless. There was a heavy silence as you both sat there, his confession still lingering in the air. The cool night breeze rustled through the trees, the only sound in the otherwise quiet night. You looked at Wooyoung, his profile illuminated by the soft glow of the nearby streetlights. His eyes were downcast, a stark contrast to his usual lively demeanor. "Let's get us home," Wooyoung finally said, breaking the silence. He reached out, gently taking your hand in his. The contact was unexpected, but it felt comforting He guided you up from the bench, his hand securely wrapped around yours. The world swayed slightly as you stood, the alcohol still coursing through your veins.

"What about the car?" you suddenly asked, remembering you had driven to the party.

"Mingi's going to drive it back tomorrow," after he said that, you walked in silence, the quiet night air a stark contrast to the loud music and chatter you left behind. The soft glow of the streetlights guided your path, casting long shadows on the empty sidewalk. The only sounds were the distant hum of the city and the soft rustle of leaves under your feet. Wooyoung's grip on your hand was firm yet gentle, a silent reassurance that he was there for you.

"Wooyoung, my feet hurt," you finally voiced out, glancing down at your feet which were now visibly swollen from the uncomfortable heels you had been wearing all night. A pained expression crossed your face as you tried to flex your aching feet.

"Your feet hurt?" Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, his gaze dropping to the heels you had been wearing all night. He could see the discomfort on your face and he felt a pang of sympathy.

"Mhm," you whispered softly, your pout deepening. Wooyoung stopped, looking down at your feet in the high heels that had been giving you trouble all evening. His eyes softened upon seeing your discomfort.

"Alright, take them off, princess," Wooyoung said, his voice gentle yet firm. He let go of your hand and crouched down, reaching for the straps of your heels. You watched in surprise as he helped you out of the torturous shoes. His actions were so unexpected, yet they felt so natural, causing a smile to tug at your lips. The nickname he had just used hung in the air between you, igniting a familiar warmth in your chest. You felt a small chuckle escape your lips, the tension from earlier starting to dissipate a bit. This was a side of Wooyoung you hadn't seen before, a softer, caring side that warmed your heart.

Once he had helped you out of your shoes, Wooyoung started to untie his own shoes, "What are you doing?" you chuckled, watching as he removed his own shoes. He looked up at you with a grin, his eyes sparkling in the dim lighting.

"I'm giving you my shoes so you don't have to walk barefoot," he simply replied, handing you his shoes with a gentle smile. You took them from him, a soft laugh escaping your lips at his unexpected gesture.

"Seriously?" you asked, your voice filled with amusement. Wooyoung simply shrugged, a playful grin on his lips. You hesitated for a moment before slipping your feet into his shoes. They were slightly big for you, but significantly more comfortable than your heels.

With a satisfied nod, Wooyoung stood up and offered his arm. "Shall we continue?" he asked, his tone light. You nodded, taking his arm as you both continued walking.

The rest of the walk home was quiet, punctuated only by the occasional sound of passing cars and the soft rustling of leaves under your feet. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, you found comfort in Wooyoung's steady presence beside you. His silence was not oppressive, rather it was comforting, allowing you the space to process the night's events. Your senses gradually began to clear as you walked, the cool night breeze helping to dissipate the effects of the alcohol. The world slowly stopped spinning, and your thoughts were no longer a jumbled mess. The reality of the night's events began to sink in, causing a pang of regret to shoot through your heart. You took a deep breath, resolving to deal with the consequences of your actions once you were completely sober. For now, you were just grateful for Wooyoung's silent support and the comforting familiarity of the route back home.

You barely noticed when you reached your apartment complex, the towering building standing tall against the night sky. Wooyoung guided you to your door, his hand still securely wrapped around yours.

"Thank you, Wooyoung," you said softly, your heart pounding as you turned to face him. His gaze met yours, his eyes holding a gentleness that made your heart flutter. His silence was comforting, a stark contrast to the chaos of your thoughts.

"You're welcome, Y/N," Wooyoung replied, his voice soft. His gaze lingered on your face, drinking in your features. He squeezed your hand gently, offering you a small smile.

"I...I need to go," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, releasing his hand. He turned to leave, his figure slowly disappearing. You watched him go, a mix of emotions washing over you. You sighed, turning to unlock your door. Once inside, you kicked off Wooyoung's shoes and collapsed onto your bed. The events of the night replayed in your mind, each detail more confusing than the last. You closed your eyes, the image of Wooyoung's hurt expression etched into your memory. A wave of guilt washed over you. Wooyoung's confession had been unexpected, but your reaction had been even more so. You pulled your blanket over your head, the guilt gnawing at your conscience. You took a deep breath, forcing your mind to clear. You needed to sort out your feelings, to figure out what you truly wanted. You decided to take a shower. The warm water cascading down your body provided a momentary relief, but it didn't really help to calm your thoughts. You kept thinking about Wooyoung, his confession kept echoing in your mind. Yeosang, who had been at the forefront of your mind earlier, now seemed like a distant memory. Each time you closed your eyes, you saw Wooyoung's face, his gaze filled with a mix of hurt and hope, his words echoing in your mind. You mindlessly brushed your teeth and changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and a T-shirt. Getting into bed, you couldn't fall asleep. You were feeling too many things, each stronger than the last. You moved around in bed, with the quiet night making your thoughts louder. Suddenly, you felt a strong need to act. You couldn't stand your confusing thoughts anymore, so you decided to face them. You jumped from the bed and ran to your apartment door, your heart beating fast. Forgetting to lock the door, you quickly climbed the stairs to the next floor, your heart beating loudly. You stopped at Wooyoung's door, worried he might be asleep and your late visit would be pointless. But you decided to go ahead. You took a deep breath to calm down and knocked on Wooyoung's door.

After a few moments, the door creaked open. Wooyoung stood there, looking surprised to see you. "Y/N? What are you doing here at this hour?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

His surprised expression made your heart race even more, "Can I come in?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wooyoung blinked in surprise before stepping aside to let you in. "Of course, come in." He led you to his living room, the space dimly lit by a single standing lamp. You walked in, your heart pounding in your chest. Wooyoung closed the door behind you and turned to face you, his expression one of concern. "Is everything alright, Y/N?"

But instead of answering, you slowly reached out, placing your hand on his. He looked at you, surprise flickering across his eyes. "Wooyoung...," you started, unsure of what to say. You squeezed his hand gently, ''Kiss me," you whispered, your voice barely audible. Wooyoung's eyes widened at your words, a mix of surprise and disbelief flashing across his face. For a moment, he simply stared at you, as if trying to determine if he had heard you correctly. "I just need to check something, so kiss me, please?" you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. The request hung heavy in the air, a question that held the potential to change everything. Wooyoung's eyes widened in shock, and he searched your face for any hint of hesitation or insincerity. His gaze softened as he saw the earnest plea in your eyes. "I brushed my teeth," you told him, a small smile playing on your lips. This caused him to chuckle, his laugh broke the tension, a small ray of light in an otherwise heavy situation.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Wooyoung responded, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn't want to kiss a mouth full of party snacks and alcohol, now would we?" At that, your smile widened a bit, the humor in his comment easing some of your nervousness. Then, slowly, he leaned in, his eyes locked on yours. His gaze was intense, filled with a mix of emotions that set your heart racing. It was as if he was silently pleading for you to understand, to accept his feelings. In that moment, you felt a connection, a spark that sent a shiver down your spine.

"Are you going to just keep looking at me like that, or are you actually going to kiss me?" you teased, an amused quirk of his lips was his initial response, the corners of his mouth curling into a small, but warm, smile. Your playful tone seemed to have done the trick, Wooyoung’s gaze softened, his gaze flickering momentarily to your lips before returning to meet your eyes. The playful challenge in your words hung in the air, a silent invitation awaiting his response. For a moment, all you could hear was your own heart pounding in anticipation. You found yourself holding your breath, eagerly waiting for his next move. "What are you afraid of?" you whispered, his eyes reflecting a hint of surprise at your question.

"Afraid?" he echoed, a playful spark in his eyes as he leaned in closer. "Not even a bit." Without another word, he closed the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to pause as his lips met yours, the soft pressure sending a jolt of surprise through you. It was a gentle kiss, yet filled with a raw intensity that took your breath away. His lips moved against yours in a slow, deliberate rhythm, the intoxicating taste of him making your head spin even more. His hand found its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, and deepening the kiss. You responded instinctively, your hands tangling in his hair as you kissed him back. The world around you seemed to fade into insignificance, the only thing that mattered was the feel of his lips against yours, the warmth of his body against yours. It was a while before you both pulled away, the need for air becoming too great. You looked at him, his eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed. His lips were slightly swollen from the kiss and for a moment, you wondered if yours looked the same.

"Well..." he started, his voice slightly hoarse. "Did you...check what you needed to check?" His words were light, but his eyes held a seriousness that suggested he was waiting for your answer with bated breath.

You nodded, your mind still reeling from the kiss. "Yeah..." you said, your voice barely a whisper. "I did." You weren't quite sure what you had expected to feel but whatever it was, it felt right. His confession, his kiss, it was unexpected, but it felt...right. Your heart raced as you looked into Wooyoung's eyes, feeling the warmth of his hand still on the back of your neck. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, still reeling from the intensity of the kiss. Slowly, a smile spread across your face, mirroring his own playful demeanor. "I think I got my answer," you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "But just to be sure..." You leaned in again, closing the distance between you, capturing his lips with yours in another kiss. This time, the kiss was deeper, more passionate, as if confirming what both of you had been silently longing for. His response was immediate, his lips moving with a renewed fervor against yours. The gentle pressure, the taste of him, the way his fingers lightly traced your jawline sent shivers down your spine. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, staring into each other's eyes with a mixture of disbelief and desire.

Wooyoung chuckled softly, his forehead resting on yours, as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "So, did that clear things up for you?" he asked, his voice husky with emotion.

You nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Yeah," you murmured, "It definitely did."

"Good," he said, his eyes lighting up at your smile. "Because I...I really like you, Y/N," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I hope that...maybe...you might feel the same way."

Your heart fluttered at his words, a warmth spreading through you. You looked at him, your eyes meeting his in a silent understanding. "I...I think I might," you admitted, your voice barely a whisper.

His eyes widened in surprise, a hopeful smile spreading across his face. "Really?" he asked, his voice filled with a mixture of surprise and hope.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "Really," you confirmed, your heart pounding in your chest. His smile widened, his eyes lighting up with a joy that made your heart flutter. You felt a warmth spread through you, a sense of rightness that you hadn't felt in a long time. You felt a surge of embarrassment rush through you as Wooyoung’s gaze continued to rake over your attire. A flush crept up your neck and you instinctively brought a hand up to hide your reddening face. Wooyoung let out a hearty laugh at your reaction, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Go away, Wooyoung," you muttered from behind your hand, your voice muffled yet audibly flustered.

Wooyoung, however, seemed to find your blush endearing. He raised an eyebrow at your retort, a smirk playing on his lips. "Go away? Where am I supposed to go, princess?" he replied, his tone teasing. His words only served to deepen your blush, but you couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped your lips at his ridiculousness. Without a word, you pushed him playfully, trying to hide the smile that tugged at your lips. Wooyoung only laughed, his eyes twinkling as he caught your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

You rolled your eyes, yet the warmth in your chest didn’t dissipate. "You're insufferable, Wooyoung," you said, but your fond tone contradicted your words.

He simply grinned in response, his eyes softening as he looked at you. "And you wouldn't have it any other way," he retorted, his voice full of affection.

"Maybe I wouldn't," you admitted, a soft smile on your lips.

[noctivague]

Pick a Card: Which patterns or beliefs do you need to release?

I still have a few free readings to go through but I felt like doing on of those pick a card/pile reading because ngl I consume a lot of them recently and they surprisingly work..?

Topic of the day is: Which patterns or beliefs do you need to release?

I don't care about likes are reblogs, but if you could tell me what pile you got and if it resonated, that'd be great!

How does it work?

Look at the picture, select the one that draws you in the most and go read your pile. Take what resonates and leave out the rest. These readings are meant for multiple people so all details might not resonates with your situation.

PILE 1

Cards: 9 of Swords + 7 of Cups; 3 of Cups + The Ocean; First Light: "Beginning a new Cycle" + Aletheia: Truth

There is an intense sense of inner worry, tension and despair, might even keep you up at night or give you nightmares. You have a tendency to daydream or over-focus on various things as a way to distract yourself from the situation. Like a magpie going for one shiny thing to the next, never feeling fully satisfied or stopping to settle mentally anywhere. You running away from your feelings as a coping mechanism and indulging in escapist tendencies.

The pattern in question seems to be excessive indulgence, may be partying. I see something that involves more than you, in any case. Perhaps you are using relationships/social stuations or substances. Either that, or I'm getting that some of you might be stuck in a toxic relationship or some kind.

I see you drowning yourself in harmful behaviors or situations in order not to face your emotions, over-relying on your ego, in other words, staying on the surface of the waters of your self and avoiding to look inside the murky waters.

The advice on how to release is to accept that a new cycle is starting, which implies the death of something old and rotten and the beginning of something new. Face your fears of the unknown and embrace the new cycle you are called to step into. Winter is melting away and spring is just around the corner, as long as you're willing to step into it!

You need to reconnect with your deeper self, face your own truth in order to embrace a life of authenticity and a greater sense of health (mental, emotional and physical). How are you lying to yourself? Don't make excuses, don't gaslight yourself. There is a sense that you not only need to realize that, but you also need to make a act of truth. That can be changing your behavior or acting towards something that's good for you.

PILE 2

Cards: Temperance (reversed) + 8 of Wands (reversed); 7 of Wands + Kairos "Mythical Time" + The Threshold (reversed) + The Lovers (reversed); The Chariot (reversed) + Wise Leader "You are a beacon for others"

You are currently feeling completely depleted and in need of a good rest. You also feel like there is no movement in your life, that you are stagnant, unmotivated and exhausted. You balance is out of whack and no matter what you do it seems you can never bring your energy levels back up.

The pattern to be released is your stubbornness to fight through everything with sheer willpower alone, which is not possible since your inner fire is depleted. You are also in some way trying to prove other people something but it's suffocating you. There is a sense that you are fighting against the timely order of things, that you are not accepting that some things take time and patience to progress and change. You are being asked to change your ways but there is a great rigidity coming from you when it comes to that. The Lovers here I think indicate a choice of you to do things differently that you are refusing to make, which causes disharmony and imbalance between the different parts of yourself. Perhaps the core issue is also you trying to keep a balance between you and other people, but it's a very toxic situation because you are sacrificing yourself in the process.

You can face this pattern by releasing your underlying fear of failure that is pushing you to run yourself on overdrive. There is also a sense that you are indecisive and struggling to make the choices that will bring back into balance (also indicated by the Lovers). I get the sense that your restless energy is making you run around in circles, completely wasting your sense of direction.

The overall advice is to grab the reins of your life, be your own leader and stop trying to please others and compare yourself to unattainable standards. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost, listen to your own rhythm. Life is not a race and you've got time to figure your shit out, but you need to heal yourself first.

PILE 3

Cards: 2 of Wands + Queen of Wands; 7 of Swords (reversed) + The Temple + The Underworld; Page of Cups (reversed) + Choosing your Path "All is possible" + Wondrous Universe "Walk in Beauty"

Just a heads up but I feel like this is the spiritual pile.

Your current situation is that you are seeking something that is missing, be it some type of truth about yourself or the universe. However it seems you are not in possession of your own power and you are looking in the wrong direction. The Queen of Wands is a really strong card signifying personal wisdom and power, but in this position, it's like you don't see it and you're giving it away. The cat is the only one who's looking forward so I get that deep down you know that something is not right, but it's buried deep within in the darkness.

When it comes to the pattern at hand, it seems you are not listening to your own inner voice and relying too much on external advice which might be misleading. Again, with the Temple I'm getting that you are looking in the wrong direction, that you are not listening to yourself and your own guidance but rather focusing on something that is untrue for you. Perhaps even you are relying on your spirituality too much and it's making you lose touch with your physical life. The Underworld signals being in denial about the warning signs about this situation and that you are avoiding walking on your own path.

The advice on how to release that pattern is to stop over-relying on external spiritual wisdom. You might need to detach yourself from a negative influence.

Remember that you are free and that you should not accept the rules and expectations placed on yourself by others. You need to move forward and embrace the infinite form of goodness of life that you seem to have forgotten. Reclaim your power. There is beauty all around and within you and it's time to see it. Reconnect with the wonders of life, of nature, of love in all its form. Only then you'll be able to move foward again.

PILE 4

Cards: Justice + The Sun + Ace of Pentacles (reversed); The Moon + The Mirror; 3 of Pentacles (reversed) + Ascending the Mountain "Keep going forward" + Wise Leader "You are a beacon to others"

It seems you are struggling to make a decision and seizing the opportunities offered to you. I get a sense that you are overly positive about something in a slightly delusional way and you are struggling to have a balanced outlook on your situation, which is making you miss out on something else that's actually beneficial for you. The Sun is usually a super positive card but in this context, I feel like the light is so bright that what you see is becoming hard to see and out of focus.

What needs to be released is signified by the Moon, which again speaks of illusions cast by yourself and your beliefs. This is also shown by the mirror. Mirror can shatter and distort reality, so I think this is really speaking of something you're currently doing or believing that is not real. You are failing to see the truth of the situation.

The way to release that is to realize that you need to be willing to open up, be truthful with yourself and learn from your mistakes. All hope is not lost though, far from that! You have the strength to carry through, you just need to find the determination to move forward and put in the work and diligence. You might not make a linear progress and feel like you're making three steps forward and two steps back, but you must continue regardless.

Don't hold back and honor your truth. There is a well of wisdom within you but you need to be willing to tap into in, be brave, and make the decision to shatter the lies you either tell yourself or are being told. At the end of the day you are the one in charge, you are the one in power, but you need to learn to be truthful, authentic, and make informed decisions.

[lunaroserites]

Art and Ice - Cold

Pairing: Eventual Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Characters: Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, Loki, Bucky, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, a lot of the avengers cast is mentioned.

Summery: Doodle is coming to terms with her feelings and we see a snippet of Bucky not seen before.

This might a 2 or 3 parter (it's gonna be more because cannot help myself). College AU, our boy Bucky is on the hockey team, and reader is an art major (because I love that trope and couldn't help myself)

Warnings: Not beta'd! All mistakes are my own. Friends fluff, swearing, mentions of college students being college students. Bit of friendly harmless flirting between friends. Bucky is a playboy. Fighting. Some vulgar language, and some inuendo

Word Court: 3800

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️

Please do not repost, translate or otherwise copy my work elsewhere, without my express permission, thank you! Lunaroserites on tumblr and ao3

Catch up here: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 ❤️

People were leaving, they were talking excitedly about what they just witnessed as if it was entertaining. For you the high pitched ringing in your ears wouldn’t let up and you couldn’t tear your eyes from the scene in front of you. The medical team led Bucky off the ice, pressing a cloth to his nose to stem the bleeding. You didn’t register Nat pulling your arm toward the locker room because you couldn’t take your eyes off the puddle of blood solidifying to the ice.

“Hello, hello,” Nat waved her hand in front of your face, your eyes focused back in suddenly, and the ringing in your ears stopped as well. You shook your head and blinked a couple times to clear your swirling thoughts. You looked at her with wide eyes, she gave you a sympathetic smile back. “You good?” She asked and you nodded, she was studying your face before determining you were actually okay, and over the momentary shock. 

“I’m fine,” your head snapped toward Bucky’s voice as he shooed a medical examiner off. “Doodle?” He looked around, over the sea of people in the hallway. “Doodle,” he caught your eyes and smiled. He swaggered over to you instantly, a cocky grin plastered on his face. He had a couple steri-strips on the bridge of his nose and his knuckles were wrapped in gauze. 

You raised an eyebrow at him and crossed your arms over your chest as he sauntered over, a look of disbelief on your face. 

“What did you think?” He asked with a smile on his face. Taken back by his question you didn’t answer right away. 

“What did I think of what?” You asked bewildered. He tilted his head and stared down at you with a “are you kidding” expression. 

“The fight? What did I think of that unnecessary amount of violence and display of barbarism?” You questioned, your voice raising a couple notches by the end of the sentence. He couldn’t be serious, could he? He was. 

“It wasn’t unnecessary violence,” Barnes sounded taken back, almost offended by your statement. You raised both eyebrows now and looked up at him, your hip cocked to the side and the exasperation evident on your face. 

“Then what in pray tell would you call it?” You asked, your tone matching his. 

“Hockey? Defending myself?” He questioned back. Your eyes widened slightly as you thought about your wording. It sounded like you were blaming him for starting the fight that was clearly started by the other team. But that didn’t excuse the excessive amount of violence displayed by two grown men. 

“Defending yourself, and fucking a man up as bad as you did are two very different things,” you tapped your foot annoyed at him. He was smirking now, that confused you. 

“I love when you swear Doodle,” he mused, “such a proper, pretty mouth saying such filthy things,” his hand slipped up and cupped your face as he ran his thumb over your flaming cheek. You grimaced and stepped back from him, ripping his hand from your face instantly. 

“God you’re disgusting,” you said with a clipped tone, you turned away from him to try and calm your flaming cheeks. “I’m glad you’re okay, you oaf, but I need to go now.” You started walking away from him, his big hand gripped your upper arm and tugged you back. 

“Oh come on Doodle, I meant no offence,” he had a slight almost desperate sounding whine in his tone. “What do you mean leaving? There’s a party to celebrate the win!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Well whether you meant offence or not is neither here nor there. What you said was crude and uncalled for,” you said firmly. You pulled your arm from his grasp, “and I don’t do parties.,” you said firmly. “Also, I told you, I’m not interested in anything outside getting my project done. I’m sure you’ll find someone at the party with a pretty mouth to do whatever you want,” you spat at him. You turned fully, your face set in nasty scowl and you marched out of the arena, ignoring him as he called after you. 

You didn’t see him for a week after that. Not because you were avoiding him, maybe you were avoiding him, but the team had a few away games and classes got in the way. Most of your free time was now devoted to being hauled up in one of the art studios in front of a huge canvas you were using to do your project. As well as completing other small projects for other classes. At this point you really didn’t need to see Barnes in person anyway you had a decent amount of sketches from your few trips to the arena. 

It was the night before the last home game of regular season, Nat had informed you Barnes had been looking for you during practice, even to the point of deliberately asking her where you were lately. After tomorrow night's game it was 4 away games and then playoffs. Your project was due in 6 weeks, at the end of the semester. You also had to submit your progress sketches and show off the beginnings of the final project next week. So you were trying to have something done and you couldn’t waste another canvas because you couldn’t get the placement right, or the pose right, that was mainly because you didn’t actually know what pose you wanted. 

With an exasperated groan you threw your head back, closing your eyes and taking a few deep inhales through your nose. You were so focused on trying to recenter yourself you didn’t hear the art room door open and close followed by heavy footfalls. 

“Doodle!” You screamed when you felt his hand touch your shoulder and his voice echo through the art studio. 

“Holy shit Barnes,” you squealed, placing your hand over your pounding heart to try and soothe it, “you scared me.” 

“Ouch,” he shook his head to stop the slight ringing in his ears from your scream. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said quickly. “I was looking for you, figured the art rooms would be a good place to start.” 

“Good deduction skills Barnes,” you said in an exasperated tone. “I’m surprised the FBI hasn’t come to recruit you yet,” your eyebrow raised as you looked at him. 

“You haven’t been to practise all week,” he said quietly, his tone was different from his usual cock sure one. “You haven’t been avoiding me have you?” He asked, his usual teasing lit was back now. 

“Nope, just didn’t need to see you in person,” you patted the sketch book laying up on a book stand. “Have everything I need in here,” you smiled up at him. 

He looked dejected almost, like he was upset you hadn’t been at the rink, he rubbed his neck awkwardly before stopping and straightening up. “I see. So you won’t be at the game tomorrow?” 

You shrugged, flipping the sketch book closed and gathering your supplies, “I don’t know. Don’t really need to,” you said as you walked around the studio putting things away, Bucky followed the best he could. 

“Ah come on Doodle,” he whined. “Watching is part of the fun.” 

“I guess so?” You said with a question. “I don’t find sports that interesting,” you said nonchalantly as you made it back to the door, opening it up and waiting for Bucky to get the hint. He quickly scurried out of the room and you closed and locked the door. 

“But you find all that interesting?” He asked, unconvinced. “Or do you enjoy getting high off paint fumes?” You clenched your jaw to stop the scathing remark from coming out, but he struck a nerve at this point. 

As calmly as you could you spoke, “not all of us get to be here because we can throw our fists around and shoot hard rudder at nets, Barnes. Some of us actually had to work hard for our full rides.” 

“I work hard. I didn’t get where I am because I can ‘throw my fists around,’” he snapped. You stopped and turned to look at him, arms crossing over your chest waiting for him to continue. “I had to show I was worth it, talent scouts, practising. You know, hard manual work, not just waving a brush on some canvas and batting my eyelashes to get in.” 

You were seething at this point, but refused to let yourself sink to yelling, or cussing him out. “I’m not having this conversation. The amount of work I put into my portfolio to be here isn’t going to be belittled by an overgrown toddler that skates with a stick in his hand for a living, someone who could care less about anything but a fucking hockey puck and some cold pussy afterwards.” 

“Is that what you think?” He asked, you couldn’t quite tell if he was genuinely asking or challenging you. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. I’m done. Have a good night Barnes,” you gave up, you didn’t want to fight or yell. You also really didn’t have the mental energy to go through Barnes' personality with a fine tooth comb to find the desirable parts of him that had to be buried in there somewhere. You left the art annex with him hot on your heels calling after you. 

“Hey,” he grabbed your shoulder to make you stop. “I’m not done. You don’t get to decide what I am.” 

“Let go Barnes,” you struggled with his grip, it wasn’t hard or painful by any means, just firm. 

“No, you’re avoiding me. Why?” He questioned. 

“I'm not avoiding you Barnes, I have projects and deadlines to meet. Because contrary to popular belief you don’t occupy every female brain on the campus.” You snapped. 

“Come on Doodle, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his cocky demeanour back. “I just wanna get to know you. Be friends,” he didn’t even sound sure about that when he said it, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You and I both know what you actually want and it’s not fucking happening. I’m not interested, I’m doing this project and hopefully we’ll never have to be around each other again,” you shook your shoulder again. “And would you please let me go,” you said in a very annoyed tone. 

You hadn’t heard Loki come up behind you two, your conversation quiet although heated, Barnes grip loosened slightly as he stared at you in disbelief, “she said let her go Barnes,” Loki’s silky voice said sternly. 

“Whatever,” Barnes' hand dropped from your shoulder and he grumbled under his breath. “If you want to come watch the game tomorrow, the seat is  reserved for you,” he said as he walked away.

“Are you alright darling?” Loki asked as you turned to face him, moving your shoulder a little, Bucky’s grip wasn’t painful and you couldn’t get your heart to stop pitter pattering. 

“I’m fine,” you muttered. The rage in your eyes dying. “He’s just…” you trailed off. 

“Insufferable? Annoying? There’s many synonyms for him,” Loki mused. You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. Loki frowned at that, “what is it darling?” He wrapped his arm loosely around your shoulders as you walked toward his car. 

“I don’t know. Just something I can’t really articulate properly. He’s so many things but there’s something there. Hiding, like he’s afraid to express it,” you said softly as you leaned into his side. “Maybe I’m reading into it and he’s actually just an insufferable prick, but I can’t help but think there’s more to him,” you mumbled thoughtfully, looking up at Loki, he held a thoughtful expression as he looked ahead. 

“Maybe darling, you never know,” he responded quietly. The air was thick with tension, and you couldn’t quite wrap your head around your opinions on Barnes. On the surface he was cocky, arrogant, and down right crude. But sometimes, when he was skating and you could see his eyes there was a peaceful, care free expression. When he looked at you, just below the surface there was something akin to admiration and thoughtfulness. I’m definitely reading into this you thought to yourself as you slid into the passenger seat of Loki’s car. 

~The next day~

You found yourself pulling on a sweater over your T-shirt before leaving your room and pulling on some shoes, with a hat tucked under your arm but no sketchbook this time. 

“Where are you off too? The Arctic?” Wanda mused from the kitchen. 

“The rink,” you muttered back, securing your laces. 

“Where's your sketch pad?” She asked softly, while stirring her dinner. It smelled delicious. 

“In my room, I’m going to get some videos of Barnes’ skating and maybe actually try and understand the game,” Wanda gave you a questioning look, before she smiled and looked down. “What?” 

“Nothing, it seems you’re enthralled,” her voice light, “it’s like Hela all over again,” she chuckled. Your cheeks heated up a little, but unlike Hela you were garnering a small crush on Barnes. It was annoying and uncalled for, and damn your brain for having a thing for blue eyes and brown hair. 

“Once this project is over, all will be right,” you said, not fully believing yourself at this moment and you were sure she didn’t either. 

“Be careful,” she sounded so soft and motherly, she didn’t convey any malice or harm, just genuine care for you. Those two words conveyed much more than just a simple sentiment. You knew that you had to be careful, men like Barnes were usually nothing but trouble, players, womanisers. But for some reason whenever he looked in your direction, whenever he spoke to you, your heart rate sped up and your stomach did somersaults. 

When you sat down in the chair that was reserved for you Nat joined you a moment later, the arena starting to fill nicely. 

“I didn't expect to see you here today,” she smiled at Clint as he skated by for warm ups. “Clint said Barnes was in a mood all day, and during practice.” She side eyed you “you wouldn’t have anything to do with it?” 

You groaned and leaned your head back, “we got into a small disagreement last night, after you told him where to find me.” 

“Ah, I told him to check the art rooms, he had been dogging me all week about why you weren’t here,” Nat responded. 

“I probably said somethings that were cruel because he got under my skin,” you sighed and rubbed your brow. “I don’t know why, but he brings out the worst in me. And I‘m starting to think it’s just me and I’m being unfair to him.” 

“Nah he probably deserved it, not many will put him in his place. The last one was his girlfriend in first year, they had been dating for a couple years and she kept him in line. She left him to move away with her family to Alaska,” Nat said casually. That definitely made a little more sense. Perspective changing your perception slightly. 

“Hmm,” you hummed as you watched the players skate around. Barnes and Rogers rough housing on the opposite end of the arena caught your attention. Barnes’ head turned as if he felt your eyes on him and he pushed away from Rogers and skated toward you.He came to a stop just in front of you behind the glass and smirked, you rolled your eyes in response. 

“Glad to see you back at the rink,” he said cheerfully. “Need some more inspo for the project? I thought you had everything,” you picked up a slightly sour undertone in his voice. Your mouth formed a thin line as you squinted at him, not bothering to entertain his petty jab. “Whatever Doodle, enjoy the game.” He skated backwards and flashed a full tooth smile. 

“I think he likes you,” Peggy said as she sat down, you groaned.

“He likes the thought of sleeping with me,” you said pointedly. Peggy laughed, she had a sing song like laugh, it was like bells. You slid further down in your seat to make yourself smaller. 

“He’s usually not this persistent,” Peggy noted as she watched Steve skate by with a soft blush on her cheeks. 

“He usually doesn’t have to be,” Nat chimed in. 

“Oh, then I should be honoured he can’t take no for an answer? Persistence isn’t flattering. We're not 5. It's obnoxious,” your tone was flat, and unamused. Nat and Peggy’s eyes widened. “What?” 

Nat laughed now, “I’m not used to you getting so heated, you’re not wrong though. I wouldn’t have given Clint a chance if he acted like Barnes.” 

“From the outside it looks cuter than it actually is,” Peggy said softly, “but I see where you’re coming from.” 

“Maybe if he didn’t start out with that cocky attitude, or didn’t flaunt himself all over campus as a playboy, maybe I would have given him a chance. But I’m not in the mood to be used as active release therapy and dumped,” you were sour about it, it bothered you for many reasons and the biggest most glaring reason is the stupid teeny tiny crush you may or may not have on him, and you hated it. Wanda seemed to just know but didn’t push it, and maybe Nat realised as well but chose to keep your sanity intact and not bother bringing it up.  Nat just placed her hand on your shoulder and gave you an encouraging smile, she did know, and that was confirmation. 

The game was not as intense as the last you watched, our team was easily winning. Whenever Barnes had a goal he made sure to skate past you and send you a wink, which would make your cheeks turn bright red. Groaning, you covered your face with your hands for what felt like the millionth time that night. 

Natasha dug her elbow in your side and pointed, Barnes was skating effortlessly on a breakaway as you had learned, you pulled your phone out and filmed him. He scored and the artist in you screamed, that was the pose, he was slightly crouched, the stick extended and the puck sailed. It was beautiful, and you squealed out loud, which made Nat give you a funny look. You stared back at her, mouth slightly agape as Barnes’ had also heard you delighted squeal as he skated passed, a beautiful smile on his face. “I got the pose for my project,” you said sheepishly. Nat burst out laughing. 

Your school's team unsurprisingly won the game by a landslide, and there were no fights this time, so you actually mildly, fully, enjoyed the experience. You were trailing behind Natasha and Peggy as they expertly wove in and out of the crowd to the locker room. The three of you stood waiting for the guys to finish up and come out, Clint was first, Nat walked over to him and wrapped him in a big hug, congratulating him on the win with a sweet kiss following, you couldn’t help but smile at them. A few more of the guys came out and waved and went on their way, one choosing to stop in front of you. 

“Wilson, my friends call me Sam, and you must be the artist?” He smirked, offering his hand. You smiled back and took it with a short shake. 

“That would be me, Wilson.” 

“Oh that's cold,” you couldn’t help but chuckle at his reaction, he was laughing as well. “Buck will be out soon,” he said with a bright smile. 

“You don’t get to call me that,” Barnes’ voice called out, as you watched Wilson roll his eyes. 

“Steve does,” he called back. 

“Yeah, I’ve known Steve longer. And he always had a plan,” Barnes retorted back as sauntered over to you. “Hey Doodle,” he flashed an award winning smile. You gave him one back, this side of him something you never saw before. And you really liked it. 

“Come on man, one missed goal and suddenly I never have a plan,” Wilson was holding his stomach while he laughed. 

“It’s why I’m the Captain,” Steve butted in, throwing his arm over the two men’s shoulders. 

“Rogers,” you greeted. He gave you a dazzling smile, and you quickly realised why Peggy was so smitten. 

“Oh please, call me Steve or Cap,” he stuck his hand out politely, you took it and shook his hand.

What you didn’t see was Nat and Clint watching the interaction with shit eating grins on their faces, and you definitely didn’t notice the picture she snapped of you smiling up at Bucky and he sending it to Loki, captioned She totally hates him XP. To which he responded Is that what they’re calling falling in love nowadays? Nat burst out laughing and they caught your attention. You looked over at her and she shot you a bright smile and patted Clint’s shoulder. 

“So Doodle,” your attention was brought back to Barnes, and you smiled up at him. “What made you come to the rink? You said you had everything,” He played with the end of a strand of your hair as he spoke. 

“I needed a couple videos so I could watch the movement. And I finally got the pose I wanted,” you stated happily, dancing on the balls of your feet. 

“Will I get to see?” He asked, fingers still twisting the strand of hair as he smiled down at you leaning over you slightly. The pose could almost be considered intimate if you had been paying attention. 

“Once it’s done,” you smiled back and scrunched your nose at him. This side of him, you could get behind. He was effortlessly flirty, but not cocky and crude. 

“Come on Doodle, the muse should get to see, and I could provide some live modelling,” his voice dropped an octave and your cheeks reddened at the implication. 

“And you had to ruin it,” you stepped back, putting distance between you two, breaking the heavy atmosphere that had built up. Barnes hand dropped from your hair as he huffed. 

“Doodle,” you crossed your arms over your chest and looked up at him unimpressed. 

“If you want to see the progress you know where to find me,” you said, moving to leave the arena and head home for the night. 

“I guess you’re not coming to celebrate,” he called after you. You turned and walked backwards for a moment, waving.

“See you Barnes, night everyone,” you turned and walked out of the arena into the night. The breeze cool as spring slipped into place over the college town you called home.

Taglist: @vicmc624, @calwitch, @learisa, @aaqua-tofana

Feel free you send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list <3

Next chapter is going to be Doddle/Bucky centric, they're gonna spend some more time together. I'm terrible at slow burns, I'm trying guys.

[perpetual-stories]

The Emotion Thesaurus: Agitation

Hi everyone and happy Wednesday! Post Two of new series!

This section comes from The Emotional Thesaurus by Ackerman and Puglisi.

Definition: feeling upset or disturbed, a state of unrest

Physical Signs:

reddening of the face

a sheen of sweat on the cheeks, chin, and forehead

hands moving in jerks

rubbing back of the neck

patting pockets or digging in the purse, looking for something lost

clumsiness due to rushing (knocking things over, bumping tables)

a gaze that bounces from place to place

an inability to stay still

jamming or cramming things away without care

abrupt movement (causing a chair to tip or scuff the floor loudly)

flapping hands

becoming accident prone (bashing one's hip on a desk corner)

dragging hands through hair repeatedly

forgetting words, being unable to articulate thoughts

backtracking to try and undo something said in haste

adjusting one's clothing

avoiding eye contact

a wavering voice

not knowing where to look or go

guarding one's personal space

taking too long to answer a question or response

throat clearing

overusing ums, ahs, and other verbal hesitations

turning away from others

a bobbing Adam's apple

pacing

making odd noises in throat

rapid lip movement as one tries to find the right things to say

flinching if touched

minimizing another's compliments

fanning self

unbuttoning a top shirt

tugging at a tie, collar, or scarf

Internal Sensations:

excessive saliva

feeling overheated

stiffening air on the nape of the neck

light-headedness

short, fast breaths

sweating

tingling skin as sweat forms

Mental Responses:

mounting frustration that causes thoughts to blank

compounding mistakes

a tendency to lie to cover up or excuse

anger at oneself for freezing up

trying to pinpoint the source of discomfort

mentally ordering oneself to calm down, relax

Cues of Acute or Long-Term Agitation:

flight response (looking for an escape of fleeing room)

snapping at others, or adopting a defensive tone

scattering papers and files in a frantic search

May Escalate To :

Annoyance

Frustration

Anxiety

Anger

Cues of Suppressed Agitation:

changing the subject

making excuses

joking to lighten the mood

staying busy with tasks to avoid dealing with the source of emotion

shifting attention to others, putting them in the spotlight

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[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 18

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 17

part 19

warning: this chapter is SPICY, you have been warned!!

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(Name) rubbed her eyes as Kurapika stood up. “I’ll go grab us some breakfast. We should be arriving in York New in around 30 minutes.”

He let his suit jacket with her, (Name) not even noticing as she pulled it over her more to keep warm.

The blonde arrived a few minutes later, carrying a few juice boxes and two takeout boxes with him.

“I got you waffles, with strawberries.”

She sat up, folding his jacket and placing it next to her before giving him a sleepy smile. “Ahh, thank you Kurapika.”

He sat down with his own takeout box, (Name) blinking a bit when he opened it.

Her box was elegantly made, having a waffle in the center covered in strawberries, syrup, and whip cream. In the little side cups we’re eggs, bacon, and sausage neatly placed with a toothpick sticking out of one of the mini sausages.

This was a stark contrast to Kurapika’s box. There was a waffle, but it was soggy, covered in syrup and whip cream with peaches slapped on top of it. The sides had been haphazardly tossed in on top of his waffle.

And he seemed to have no problem with it. Kurapika began eating his food, only wincing a little at the dreary sight. (Name) couldn’t help but snicker. “Kurapika, do you wanna share with me? Your plate… um…”

“I dropped it…”

His dejected tone made her giggle. “Aww, Kurapika…”

She scooted closer, taking his box and pulling out some of the sides and slices of peaches, placing it on her plate. “Here, I’ll pick some of the none soggy stuff up.”

When she was done, she moved the takeout box onto the small table in front of them, offering him his for. “Dig in!”

(Name) snatched a strawberry from the plate, the corners of her mouth twitching up when she watched him grab a wedge of the peach, the blonde glancing at her before he placed it in his mouth.

‘He’s so cute!’

(Name) cut the waffle into two half’s, giving him the bigger slice. He gave her a look, gesturing to the waffle but she shook her head. “You eat more than I do, go ahead, sweetheart.”

The pet name flustered the poor blonde, Kurapika shoving a piece of the waffle into his mouth.

“Haha, is it good?”

He nodded, strawberry syrup dripping down his chin. (Name) gasped, leaning forward and swiping up the sweet liquid with her finger.

“Ahh, that was close! That would of left a touch stain on your shirt.”

Without thinking, she stuck her finger in her mouth, licking the excess syrup off. He could only stare, face turning pink, then red.

Kurapika crossed his legs, eating quietly before excusing himself. “I’ll be right back, just have to… use the bathroom…”

He took one last look at her content face before leaving to deal with his hard on.

——————

The two exited the train together, Kurapika pulling her suitcase behind him. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I can carry it, I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

Ouch.

Kurapika hesitated for a moment, feeling his heart thump painfully against his chest. “You’re not…”

He sighed, continuing to pull it along. “I’ve got it.”

They took a cab to the hotel, Kurapika keeping a close eye on the girl. When she noticed him staring, she sent him an uneasy smile. “Is there something wrong?”

“No… why do you ask?”

She squirmed in her seat, hiding herself behind her fluffy cardigan. “Your eyes are… kind of intense right now. I just thought maybe I made you mad or something.”

He paused, hand clenching. This seemed to only further her fears, the girl quickly holding up her hands. “S-sorry! I… I didn’t mean to…”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not mad at all, I promise.”

He attempted to comfort her, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder, only to see her flinch away.

“(Name)… I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know! I… I know.”

She did know, but she also thought she knew that back when he did hurt her.

He attempted again, reaching out to gently pat her head. She allowed this, but was tense under his touch.

Leorio and Killua weren’t around to protect her right now, and although she wanted to trust him, wanted to find happiness in his touch, it didn’t come as easy as it did when she had the other two to rely on.

They would be spending a lot of time alone together, and she was nervous.

“We’re here.”

Kurapika offered his hand to help her out if the cab, heart fluttering when she took it. “Thank you.”

Again, he insisted on pulling her suitcase for her, smacking her hands away playfully when she tried to take it. “Ah ah, I got it. You’re doing me a favor, it’s the least I could do.”

She laughed this time, following behind him with a little smile on her lips. “Okay, okay.”

It’s time like these that made (Name)’s heart beat a little faster as the blonde followed behind her, stopping to rush and open any door in her path. He even reached over her to press the elevator button, smiling down at her. “I’ve got it.”

(Name) was a little perplexed on why he was acting the way he was. He hadn’t been rude to her at her home, but Kurapika hadn’t been this… sweet.

“Are you in… any pain?”

(Name) tilted her head at the question. “Pain? What do you mean?”

He wouldn’t meet her eye. “You know… because of your time of the month.”

Oh.

“Haha, is that why you’re carrying my stuff around? I’m fine, the medication I’m on helps keep the symptoms more tame.”

He nodded slowly. “I see, that’s good…”

Kurapika still continued to carry her stuff for her, even opening their hotel room door.

“Oh wow!”

(Name) squealed, running around the room and peeking out the large window. Kurapika couldn’t help but smile, watching her twirl around the fancy hotel room with soft eyes.

“Kurapika, it’s huge! Oh my gosh!”

She peeked her head into the bathroom, looking back at him with a beaming smile. “The bath and shower is huge! I can’t wait for tonight!”

She finished her tour by falling onto the bed, a laugh leaving Kurapika’s lips when she began to sink in.

“Are you alright, (Name)?”

She mumbled something into the plush bed, the blonde walking over to pull her up. “What was that?”

“This is the fanciest place I’ve ever been.”

‘God she’s adorable.’

He sat down with her on the bed, turning to look at her. “You like it?”

“Yes! It’s amazing!”

His smile faltered a little when he noticed her putting the dots together. “Oh. There’s… only one bed.”

Kurapika sighed softly, standing up. “Yes, that is the only problem. I was unable to cancel this room and reserve another within such short notice.”

“… sorry.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “… why are you apologizing?”

“…”

She fiddled with her cardigan uncomfortably, the man sighing. “Anyways, I can sleep on the floor, or-“

“Kurapika.”

She placed a hand on his arm, her touch light. “It’s alright. We can…”

(Name) gave him a smile. “We can sleep in the same bed. I mean, it’s just like the Hunter exam, right?”

Kurapika felt his heart thump against his chest at the thought of sleeping next to her again. He’d truly taken it for granted before, having such a beautiful woman cuddled into his chest, giving him kisses, touching him…

He cleared his throat. “Yes, I guess it is, since this is also a necessary situation.”

(Name)’s expression fell, her smile gone. “Ah, yeah. Necessary…”

Kurapika paused, remembering something he’d spat out in the heat of the moment to try and push her away nearly two years ago.

“And look, you did something right for once! You sure did keep me warm during the fourth phase. Looks like you are useful for something, even if all that is, is being a warm body.”

He slapped a hand to his head. ‘Stupid, she probably thinks you’re trying to use her. But…’

He glanced at the girl, who stood up to unpack her suitcase.

‘It would be nice to feel her warmth again.’

Kurapika watched as (Name) fixed her hair, humming to herself. “Kurapika, what am I getting ready for?”

The blonde leaned against the bed. “Oh, we’re just going out to get you a dress for tomorrow evening.”

(Name) froze at this, her head whipping around to look at him. “A dress… you mean clothes shopping? Kurapika…”

She gave him a wary look, turning from the vanity. He waved her off. “I already checked, they do sell your size there. Leorio… made sure I checked before taking you.”

(Name) sighed. “Ah… good…”

“Although, in my opinion every store should carry your size. It just doesn’t make sense to me why not.”

She looked up to see Kurapika cross his arms over his chest, obviously pissed off. (Name) stared at him for a moment, taking in his face before giggling. “Aww, Kurapika! Thanks for being so sweet.”

She stood from her vanity, picking up her purse instead of her backpack.

“I’m ready. We can pick out my dress, then get some lunch!”

He nodded, opening the hotel room door for her. “That sounds perfect.”

———————

Kurapika glanced down the long street ahead of them before taking (Name)’s hand. “Stay close to me.”

He didn’t say why, but from his strong grip on her arm, she didn’t question it. ‘Maybe he sensed something? I could use Gyo, but…’

“Don’t.”

It seemed Kurapika knew what she was thinking, he had a smile on his face that would look charming to most, but to someone who knew him, he looked… tense.

(Name) sent him a confused look, but decided to just follow his lead. He lead her into the first store, (Name) raising an eyebrow at him. It was a luxury dress boutique, and it didn’t seem like the type of shop (Name) would be able to shop in.

“Hello there! How may I be of service today?”

A woman stood before them, hands clasped tightly at her chest. She wore a customer service smile, it only slightly wavering at the sight of (Name).

“Hello, we’re here to find a dress for my lovely wife.” Kurapika smiled, pulling her a little closer and leaning his head against her’s affectionately.

‘Wife!?’

(Name)’s face heated up, barely holding herself back from sending an inquisitive glance Kurapika’s way. He spoke so confidently, lowering an arm to her lower back. “We have a dinner with a colleague tomorrow night, and I would love to find her something elegant, and classy.”

The woman nodded, looking (Name) up and down. “Is there a specific color you’re going for, Miss?”

(Name) glanced to Kurapika, who gestured her to speak.

“Oh, um… no, not really.”

“I see!”

She turned. “Follow me!”

(Name) looked at the floor as they walked towards the back of the store. “Here we are!”

“… what?”

Kurapika stared at the small rack, containing a handful of what Kurapika could only describe as ‘grandma dresses’.

(Name) sighed next to him and began to browse the small selection. “(Name).”

He pulled her away, frowning. “No. Miss, where are the rest of your dresses?”

“Oh, these are all the dresses we carry in her size.”

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t even measured her yet?”

“I don’t need to. She’s not exactly… our intended audience.”

“Kurapika, it’s fine. I’ll just-“

Kurapika huffed, pulling her towards the door. “No, it’s not fine. If they don’t have what you want, we’ll go somewhere else.”

(Name) squeaked as he grabbed her by the waist, holding her close to him as they walked down the street. “What kind of boutique speaks to its customers like that? Wasted my time…”

He grumbled a few choice words to the rude employee as they left, hand gripping her waist. She glanced down at his hand, then up to him. “Kurapika? You’re… squeezing me a bit too tight.”

The blonde was quick to retract his hand, instead deciding to hold hers. “Ah, sorry. That woman pissed me off. I hate that you get treated like that, (Name), it’s disrespectful.”

(Name) looked at the ground. “Meh, I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

He squeezed her hand lightly. (Name) smiled softly, squeezing back. “You’re a real sweetheart, Kurapika. Thank you.”

‘Don’t say that, (Name). Not after everything I’ve done to you.’

He didn’t say this though, only continuing to lead her town the street.

The next store they entered was extravagant, framed by white columns. “We’ve entered Rome.” (Name) whispered to the blonde. He held back a snicker, giving her a look.

“(Name), we’re supposed to be a classy married couple.”

“Oh, classy married couples can’t joke around?”

He scowled. “No, they can’t.”

“Hello, how may I help you?”

They both jumped at the sudden question, (Name) giving the friendly employee a polite smile. “Hi, I’m looking for a dress for a…”

“For a meeting with a colleague. Something elegant.” Kurapika finished.

The employee smiled warmly. “Ah, I see. We have a wide variety of dresses available here. Is there anything you’re looking for in particular?”

(Name) explained some of her preferences to the woman as Kurapika stared at the opposite wall.

‘Is that…’

“So, you two are a married couple, right?”

(Name) nodded a bit too quickly, face heating up at the question. Kurapika held back a laugh. “Yes, we are. Actually, we married just last week, and we’re currently on our honey moon.”

“Oh, congratulations! You two are such a cute couple!”

(Name) covered her face with her hands, Kurapika quick to pull her in closer and chuckle. “Thank you. Sorry, my wife is a little shy.”

‘My wife! Ah!’

Kurapika gently squeezed her arm, attempting to signal to her that she needed to calm down, but she was too busy trying to breathe to comprehend it.

“So, newlyweds, huh? You two must be having lots of fun all alone!”

Kurapika blinked, glancing down at his flustered friend to see if he’d heard correctly. (Name) was also looking up to him, eyes wide and face hot.

“… lots of fun.”

(Name) gasped and smacked his arm. “Kurapika Kurta!”

He laughed, cheeks a light pink. “Sorry, sorry. Again, she’s quite shy.”

“Haha, most newlyweds are. Please, come this way, and I’ll show you some of our dresses.”

As the walked through the store, (Name) became more and more nervous. She looked through a few of the dresses, sighing. “Kurapika… I can’t afford anything here. We may need to-“

“No need to worry.”

He pulled out his wallet, giving her a sly smile. “I’ll be paying.”

(Name) froze, blinking up at the blonde. “… what?”

He tugged on her arm to keep her going. “Consider it a gift for accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night.”

She shook her head rapidly. “No, no I couldn’t accept that, it’s-“

He flicked her forehead. (Name) could be incredible stubborn when it came to accepting gifts, and he’d already planned a response to her denial.

“I’m buying the dress regardless. If you don’t wear it, it’ll just go to waste.”

She grumbled at that, poking her tongue out at him.

“Here we are!”

(Name) looked to the woman, her tongue still sticking out. “Mm?”

Kurapika stared at her tongue for a moment before looking around.

“Ahh, isn’t this much better, (Name)?”

They looked upon a vast variety of dresses. Every color, length, and cut was available.

“Wow, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen so many dresses in my size.”

Kurapika smiled, placing a hand on her back. “Go ahead, sweetheart.”

(Name) knew he had to be able to feel her heart thump rapidly through her skin. ‘Ahh… I wish he’d call me that more often.’

She immediately began moving towards the clearance section, Kurapika grabbing her wrist. “(Name), I said something elegant.”

(Name) pouted at this, but allowed him to guide her towards the more expensive dresses.

The employee helped her pick a few dresses, Kurapika being shooed away when he attempted to peek at the selection. “Mr. Kurta, stay over there! It’ll be a nice surprise!”

He blinked at that. ‘Surprise?’

As (Name) pulled her dress on over her head, she thought back to Kurapika’s words. It was always hard to tell how the blonde was feeling, especially in a situation where he was acting.

At the insinuation of having sex with her, he didn’t react much, besides the lightest of pink taking over his cheeks. (Name) couldn’t help but be curious to what his thoughts where in that moment. Had he been embarrassed? Intrigued? Happy?

‘No, I know exactly what he thinks of me…’

“You disgust me.”

She felt a shiver run up her spine at the memory of his words, her arms wrapping around herself in an attempt to provide some form of comfort to her trembling body. The girl was nervous, feeling her stomach churn slightly when she thought about the way he looked at her in the moment.

(Name) had always prided herself on being able to read people, but even she was at a loss then. His eyes were cold, and being hidden behind those gray contacts didn’t help. That day she lost her Pika, the man she loved being replaced by a stranger.

Even now, when he acted kind towards her, she could only briefly forget what he’d done, and now that they were all alone, it was getting harder to ignore the elephant in the room.

Was he sorry for what he’d done?

(Name) wasn’t stupid. She knew he hadn’t apologized to her yet, but she wanted to believe that he would. He’d come back to her after all, didn’t that mean something. Surely, the Pika she knew would never use her for his own gain.

But then again, was he really the Pika she had loved all those years ago?

Did he ever even really exist?

(Name) shook her head. ‘No, no he did exist, my Pika was real. He… he couldn’t have been acting. He really did care about me…’

Even as she said this, trying to smile, there was still a lingering doubt in the back of her mind, but she wouldn’t let that stop her from holding onto hope.

She still held onto the hope that he was still in there somewhere, that one day she could hold his hand, and he’d squeeze it back, pulling her into his arm embrace and holding her like he used to.

‘I miss you, Pika…’

But none of that mattered. She could sense it, he was holding her at arms length. When this mission was over, he would leave her, possibly for forever.

And that hurt even more than any insult Kurapika could throw at her.

The employee walked back after assisting (Name) in the changing room. The girl had been quiet the entire time, seemingly lost in thought. This made the employee hum. ‘Marriage troubles?’

“So… you two been on your honeymoon long?”

Kurapika leaned against the wall raising an eyebrow in the employees direction. “No, why do you ask?”

“Well, I don’t mean to be crude, but I can tell you two haven’t…”

Kurapika stiffened slightly at the insinuation, letting out a cough. Perhaps the girl was sad that he hadn’t made a move yet?

“We’ve… only been in York New for half a day.”

He hoped that would be enough of an answer for the woman, but she continued. “Oh, I see. But you should get at it soon, don’t you want to start a family?”

Kurapika felt his head go fuzzy at her words. The image of (Name) with a cute little baby bump, giggling as he held her close came to mind.

“Aren’t you excited to be a daddy, Kurapika?”

“Yes, angel. I couldn’t be happier.”

Thoughts of being together as a family filled his head, causing his heart to swell. If there was one thing the blonde wanted more than anything else in the world, it was a family. A wife, a child, friends that would be there for him when he needed them, and vice versa.

“Yes… that would be… nice.”

“Well then… maybe I can help you get things… started.”

Kurapika followed her gaze to the wall he’d been staring at earlier.

The lingerie section.

——————

“Uh, hello?”

Kurapika’s head twisted in the direction of (Name)’s voice. He set down the pair of lacy black panties he’d been inspecting to follow her voice.

“Oh, I’m coming!”

The employee began walking towards the changing room, causing a strange feeling to settle in Kurapika’s chest. He nearly pushed the employee over trying to get to (Name) first.

“I’ve got it.” He said, sending the employee the friendliest smile he could manage. It looked more pained than friendly, but she backed off nonetheless.

“What is it, (Name)?” He stood right outside the door, listening for her response.

“Kurapika? Oh, can you get the employee? I need someone to zip me up.”

He swallowed, heart beginning to race. “She’s busy.”

“Oh… well…”

(Name) poked her head out of the door, giving him a shy smile. “You can do it, then.”

Kurapika took a moment to compose himself before walking in.

And good thing he did, because the sight of her in her new dress took his breath away.

“(Name), you…”

His mouth hung open, eyes drinking in her form. She wore a floor length, satin dress. It was midnight blue in color, a long slot going up one side to expose her soft thigh.

“Does it look okay?”

She looked back at with with those pretty (e/c) eyes, holding the fabric of the dress over her exposed chest. He gulped, quickly standing behind her and beginning to zip her up.

“You look beautiful, (Name). Absolutely stunning.”

(Name) covered her face with her hands. “You really mean that, Kurapika?”

He turned her by her shoulders to get a better look at her, his eyes softening. “Yes, yes I promise.

He expected her to giggle, for that pretty smile of hers to stretch across her face, but he only got a sigh and forced, small smile in return.

Those familiar words hung in the air, his past actions tainting them. In the past, (Name) had believed him without a doubt, and even now, she foolishly wanted to take his words as the truth.

She was like a moth to a flame, wanting to bask in his warmth before he eventually scorched her again. Kurapika realized what he said, and how he had broken his promise to her before.

“I’ll never deny you.”

Kurapika wanted to reach out, to apologize and reassure her that he truly did mean what he had said, but what did it matter anyways? He would be gone soon, and why would he waste all of the work he’d done to push her away by undoing it all with an apology? That would mean her hurt her for no reason.

And Kurapika couldn’t handle that realization, so he did nothing.

She stayed quiet, smoothing out the dress. Kurapika unzipped her so she could change. “Tell me when you’re dressed.”

And she did, a few minutes later. He walked back into her changing room, wordlessly picking up the dress and beginning to walk away.

“… Kurapika? Kurapika, what are you doing?”

“Buying this dress.”

She blinked. “But it’s the only one I’ve tried on, shouldn’t w-“

“Oh, keep trying on dresses. I’ll get you whatever you want, but I’m buying this one first.”

“Kurapika!”

She raced after him, grabbing his arm. He didn’t even pause, easily pulling her along with him. “K-Kurapika! I only need one dress for dinner! I’ll just get that one!”

He turned at that, tilting his head. “Are you sure? There were a few other dresses you wanted to try on..”

She sighed. “I’m sure. That one is perfect.”

(Name) sighed in relief when he relented.

——————

Her relief was short lived.

(Name) now sat in front of Kurapika, who held onto her leg as he slipped another shoe onto her foot.

“Hmm…”

He compared the color of the dress, sighing. “Nope, not right.”

He took off the shoe and moved on to the next pair.

“Kurapikaaa, it’s been 30 minutes. I’m tired of this.”

Kurapika patted her leg. “But Mrs. Kurta, don’t you want to find the perfect pair?”

“M-Mrs. Kurta!?”

He looked up at her through those thick blonde eyelashes, a sly smile on his lips. “Newlyweds, remember? You’ve got to get used to it, sweetheart.”

She pouted down at him. “Do you enjoy teasing me?”

“Maybe a little.”

(Name) folded her arms over her chest. “Rude.”

He settled on a pair of silver heels, (Name) tilting her head at the choice.

“Silver? I thought you were going for blue.”

“I was but…”

He imagined how exposed her shoulders and neck would be in that dress, taking a deep breath.

“I had an idea.”

——————

(Name) plopped down on their bed, butt in the air as she groaned into her pillow. “I’m exhausted. God I hate shopping.”

Kurapika tried to ignore the temptation of peeking in her direction, unpacking her dress and hanging it up in the walk in closet.

“Aren’t women supposed to like shopping?”

(Name) poked her head up at him. “Do you like football?”

“… no?”

She slumped back into the bed, mumbling something back to him he couldn’t hear. “Well, anyways, do you want to order room service?”

This seemed to interest her, the girl jumping up. “Room service?”

He laughed. “Yes, order whatever you like. I’m going to take a shower. Just get me whatever you get.”

Kurapika gathered a change of clothes, taking one last look at her before closing the bathroom door.

He couldn’t deny that sharing a room felt awfully familiar to him, in a comforting way. The nights he spent cuddled up with her during the Hunter Exam had been some of the best of his life.

Even when they couldn’t be physically next to each other, staying on call with her as he slept helped him feel safe, loved.

He wondered if she felt the same way. After all, it was her that comforted him during his nightmares, sang him lullabies and blew kisses when he was sad. Kurapika was beginning to realize that oftentimes, she was the one comforting him.

He opened his eyes, letting the warm water cascade down his pale body. Using her shampoo and soap always felt nice, and he considered switching to it when he left after this mission.

‘Only because it smells good. Not for… any other reasons…’

Even as he said that, his cock twitched when he opened up her shampoo bottle. It’s like his body knew that the smell was associated with being near her, and was reacting on its own.

‘Fuck…’

He looked down at his hard cock, frowning. ‘I’ll have to deal with this… why does this keep happening? What’s causing my body to react this way?’

As he stroked himself, he spotted her own change of clothes sitting on top of the sink. For some reason, the thought of her panties being folded under her shirt or pants made him excited.

He ended up cumming the thought of her cute panties alone. He bashfully finished his shower, cursing his mind for thinking such things. Kurapika hated how sensitive his body was now, how easily he was affected by her.

(Name) ordered their food, curling up on their bed as she waited. Kurapika’s shower didn’t take too long, the blonde stepping out around 30 minutes later. His hair was still wet, a towel hung around his shoulders.

“I hope you don’t mind me using your shampoo. I forgot mine.”

That was a lie, he’d purposefully left his shampoo at home so he could use hers without suspicion.

“I don’t mind at all! Now come here.”

Kurapika sighed softly as she ran her fingers through his hair. He sat cross legged in front of her, head leaning against his knee as she dried his soft blonde locks.

Moments like this made him miss when she would touch him so casually, kiss his cheeks and jump into his arms with ease. When she was taking care of him like this, she touched him.

Maybe that’s the reason he sought her out after his shower. It would be easy to dry his own hair to appease her, but he didn’t. He purposely didn’t dry his hair so he would. It was an attempt to feel that familiar warmth he did when they were together during the Hunter exam, when things were simpler.

When he hadn’t hurt her yet.

“There, all done.”

She scooted off the bed, throwing the towel into the hamper. “Room service sure is taking their sweet time.”

The two sat on opposite sides of the bed, sneaking glances at each other. Through the window, they could see the sun was setting, meaning they’d have to go to bed soon.

“Room service!”

‘Oh thank god.’

(Name) jumped up and scurried towards the door, sighing in relief. “Thanks!”

The two ate together in silence. Once (Name) finished, she stretched. “I’ll go ahead and take my shower then. What are our plans for tomorrow?”

Kurapika set his laptop aside, thinking for a moment before speaking. “Besides dinner at 5 pm, nothing.”

(Name) nodded, shrugging off her cardigan and folding it. She placed it on her suitcase, Kurapika watching her.

“I see, then that means we can sleep in!”

Kurapika tilted his head. “Sleep in? I thought you might want to sight see.”

“Nah, I lived her for a few months, I’ve seen plenty. The train ride was more comfortable than usual, but it’s not the same as sleeping in a bed. I need to catch up on some missed sleep.”

The blonde continued typing on his laptop, humming softly. “Hmm, I guess that makes sense. I can’t guarantee that I’ll sleep in as well, but you can do as you wish with your free time.”

(Name) threw her pajamas onto her shoulder. “Besides, I don’t want to strain myself right now, considering…”

She held a hand over her abdomen, wincing.

“Ah, that’s true, I’d prefer you take it easy.”

Kurapika spared her a worried glance, the girl not catching it. She was already opening the bathroom door.

“Can you put my phone on charge for me? Thanks!”

She closed the door before he could answer. He glanced over to her side of the bed, seeing her phone lying on her pillow.

He picked it up, the weight of it being in his hand foreign. She had a strawberry themed phone case, and when he turned it on, his heart couldn’t stop racing.

Her lock screen was a picture of the five of them right after they saved Killua from the Zoldyck Estate. (Name) and Kurapika were so close, both in the picture and in general back then. Their cheek were pressed against each other, big smiles on their faces.

He melted at the sight, eyes softening. ‘God, she’s so cute.’

His smile faded when a message from who he assumed was Leorio popped up.

Oreo: rate these pussies (image attached)

Kurapika blinked, face turning red with embarrassment and anger. ‘What the hell is he talking about?’

Kurapika had to know what the picture was. He didn’t know her passcode, but assumed it was the same thing she used for everything.

He typed in her birthday, and if he wasn’t pissed off he would have laughed at how easy it was, her phone unlocking.

He clicked on Leorio’s contact, ready to tear him a new one.

Image attachment:

Kurapika stared at the images for a moment, feeling just a little silly for his previous rage. ‘He meant that as in… cats. Still…’

Kurapika shut her phone off, leaning over to put it on charge. ‘Why do I care if he’s sending her things like that anyways? Their relationship is none of my…’

He attempted to push away the familiar nasty feeling bubbling up in his chest. ‘…’

Kurapika shook his head. The laptop opened, Kurapika beginning to type away yet again.

‘Hmm…’

The blonde had done thorough research on both the restaurant they were visiting, and the informant they’d be meeting.

He was a flesh collector, popular in the community for his vast collection and strange morals.

‘Victor Hummin.’

The man refused to collect anything from any parties that had not consented to the sale of their own body parts. Kurapika found this strange, and didn’t know how to think about it.

Ok one hand, he was collecting the flesh of human beings, something Kurapika viewed as immoral. On the other hand… he only procured items from people who sold them willingly from their own bodies.

“Ugh, I’m tired.”

The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing echoes through the room, along with (Name)’s voice. Kurapika looked up from his laptop to see her standing by the bathroom, towel on her head.

She wore an oversized tshirt and…

Kurapika felt his blood rush to his face when he realized that her legs were completely bare. “(N-Name)?”

His face was completely red, hurriedly pulling their comforter over his lap to hide the growing bulge in his pants.

“Hmm? Do you need something Kurapika?”

She stretched lightly, a yawn leaving her lips.

‘Oh.’

A pair of black shorts peeked out of the bottom of her pink tshirt. Kurapika relaxed slightly, though his hard on was still raging.

He felt just a tad disappointed, letting out a huff.

‘Wait…’

Kurapika held a hand over his forehead, face red as he remembered the second phase of the exam. Leorio had the same reaction he was having now when (Name)’s skirt flew up then.

‘Oh no, I’m thinking like Leorio. This isn’t good…’

(Name) crawled into bed, lying on her tummy as she scrolled on her phone. She had her headphones on, kicking her feet as she watched some video.

He glanced from the fuzzy socks on her feet, to the towel on her head, then to her face. Her eyes blinked sleepily, the hand keeping her head up nearly slipping.

“(Name)?”

With her headphones on, she must not have been able to hear him. Kurapika reached out to tap her shoulder, the girl glancing to look at him before pulling her headphones to the side. “Yes?”

Kurapika placed his laptop on the table next to him, giving her a smile. “Staring at that phone in the dark will hurt your eyes. Let’s get some rest, hmm?”

(Name) rubbed her eyes. “Yeah… okay.”

She seemed to send someone a text before she set her phone on the nightstand, lifting up the comforter and snuggling underneath it.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the two feet of space separating the two blank. Kurapika was trying to keep himself calm. His body was heating up, and he was attempting to push the thought of her sleeping next to him out of his head.

‘She’s just sleeping next to you. Your body didn’t react like this during the Hunter exam, what makes this any different?’

“Kurapika?”

The blonde let out a shaky breath when he felt the space next to him dip under (Name)’s weight. She was closer now, maybe only a foot apart.

“Yes?”

He was turned away from her, hoping the darkness could hide his red face, but knowing it would do nothing to hide the sound of his racing heart.

“Do you remember when we used to sleep together during the Hunter Exam?”

A moment passed by before he answered. “… yes. I do.”

She was quiet, tracing shapes into the sheet. “Do you think… just for tonight… we can pretend everything is okay, and you can hold me like you used to?”

His breath hitched. ‘Hold… her…’

When he didn’t answer, he felt her scoot away, her voice coming out shaky.

“Sorry, you don’t have to, it’s f-“

She stopped when Kurapika turned around, wordlessly pulling her closer. He pressed his body against hers, holding her in his arms.

She quieted down, eyes fluttering closed as her body relaxed.

“Like this?”

He looked down at her, taking in her content face. She nodded, eyes opening up to look into his. “Yes, just like that.”

Kurapika leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. Her warmth seeped into his skin, making him almost whimper at how good it felt to be so close to her again.

Her hand reached up to cup his cheek, the blonde leaning into her touch. “I missed you, Kurapika. Even…”

She was quiet, shaking her head. “Never mind. Let’s get some sleep.”

He placed his hand over hers, pressing her hand into his cheek further. “… goodnight, (Name).”

“Goodnight, Kurapika.”

They both wanted to say something, but neither did. One a coward, one too kind.

Kurapika watched as she drifted off, taking in her features. Her soft lips, long lashes, chubby cheeks, all things he committed to memory.

His hand slipped from her back to her soft hips, gripping the fat around them gently. ‘So soft…’

(Name) was the epitome of softness, from her body, to her voice, to her personality, the first word that came to mind when thinking about her was ‘soft’.

Kurapika, on the other hand, was rough. Calloused hands, harsh personality, sour mood, everything indicated to him being rough around the edges. It made sense that someone as soft and kind as her would be hurt when she veered to close to him.

Though, he couldn’t complain about their close proximity now, especially when his body yearned to be closer to her, merge with hers.

Be inside her.

He groaned quietly, feeling himself grow hard again. The smell of her, fresh out of the show was tantalizing, almost unbearable. She was right there, smiling in her sleep as he held her close, and it’s like his body couldn’t help but react with excitement to the feeling of her warm breath against his neck.

Kurapika swallowed, eyes half lidded as he dipped his hand into his boxers, keeping the other one on her hip.

“Hahh…”

He covered his mouth, face red with embarrassment. ‘Did I just…’

He bit his lip to keep himself quiet as he stroked his cock, his imagination going wild.

He imagined (Name) waking up, glancing down at his bulge then back up to him with those pretty (e/c) eyes.

“Aww, Pika… do you need some help, there? Let me take care of you…”

He watched as she slipped her hand into his pants, pulling out his cock and stroking it slowly. “My Pika… does that feel good?”

“Hnn, yes angel, that feels amazing!”

She picked up the pace, leaning forward to press kisses into his sensitive neck. “Wanna cum inside of me, Pika? Fill my tummy up?”

Kurapika covered his mouth as he came, eyes squeezing shut. It took him a moment to come down from his high, and when he did, he realized what had happened.

He lifted the blanket up slowly, cock hardening again at the sight.

Kurapika had cum all over her thighs, feeling his dick twitch in his hand at the sight. He couldn’t help but feel… disappointed, like something about the sight wasn’t right.

He remembered what the (Name) in his mind had said to get him to cum so fast.

“Wanna cum inside of me, Pika? Fill my tummy up?”

Just those words alone were enough to get him pumping his cock again, soft pants leaving his mouth as he stared at (Name)’s sleeping face.

‘S-so pretty… fuck…’

Kurapika grabbed a fistful of her thigh, pulling her a little closer until the tip of his cock nearly kissed her legs. ‘Cant… get any closer…’

He wanted to kiss her, to push her panties to the side and slip into her warm cunt. Kurapika was always so, so cold, and she was so warm. Agonizingly so.

Kurapika watched her face, eyes gone red with lust as he leaned closer. As he came again, he leaned his forehead against hers, allowing himself that small physical contact.

“(N-Name)…” he whimpered out. “Hahh… hahh…”

More than anything he wanted her to wake up and touch him, kiss him, tell him how much she wanted him.

But she didn’t, and the blonde pulled up his pants, staring down at his cum dripping down her legs. He was ashamed of himself for cumming on her like that, but it was hard not to when she was holding onto him so tight.

He leaned to grab a tissue from his nightstand, gently wiping off her thighs before tossing it into the trash.

That feeling was washing over him again, the urge to pull her closer and cuddle. He’d felt this after he orgasmed the night they watched the Barbie movie, and it was even stronger now that they were lying next to each other.

Kurapika pulled her even closer, now able to press his body against hers entirely without his bulge getting in the way. He pressed a lingering kiss into her forehead, eyes getting heavy.

‘Goodnight, angel.’

———————

Kurapika was acting different the next morning. Before she’d woken up, he’d ordered room service for the two. When (Name) did finally wake up, it was to his starling red eyes looking into hers, taking in every detail of her face.

“Mmm… Kurapika?”

He blinked, cheeks pink when he realized she caught him staring. “Good morning, (Name).”

If only she knew he’d been staring at her sleeping face gif the better half of an hour, occasionally cupping her cheek to gently tilt her head in different directions.

She yawned, attempting to stretch and sit up when she realized he was still holding onto her. (Name)’s eyes flitted to the hands griping her hips, her face heating up.

Something… something was poking into her tummy, but the blonde seemed unaware of that. Could it be his arm? His…

“Kurapika, you’re-“

He pulled his hands away quickly, as he’d been holding onto something hot. Kurapika said nothing as she scooted out of bed, eyes following her swaying hips.

“Be right back…”

She closed the bathroom door behind her, and the blonde felt something uneasy settle into his chest.

The space next to him was empty, and he wasn’t sure why that made him… nervous. The warmth she’d left behind was fading away, and try as he might, Kurapika couldn’t keep it there.

He scooted into her spot, cuddling into her pillow. It smelled like her, a soft strawberry scent with hints of vanilla and coconut.

‘(Name)…’

He hugged her pillow, smiling against the soft fabric. His morning wood prodded against the mattress, the blonde whining.

‘Fuck…’

He glanced back at the bathroom door. He could hear the sink running, so he assumed she was doing her morning routine. Usually, it took (Name) around 10 minutes to brush her teeth, wash her face, and moisturize. That meant he had just enough time to take care of his problem.

While his face was buried in her pillow, he reached down into his pants. Kurapika gasped when his hand made contact with his sensitive cock, slowly pumping along his length as he nuzzled against (Name)’s pillow.

Over time, his imagination shifted from just seeing her panties for the first time, to her jerking him off, and then to now…

“Hahh, P-Pika!”

She gasped when his tongue lapped at her cunt, fingers pushing their way in. “Yes, angel?”

She looked down at him with teary eyes, holding onto his hair. His cock twitched in his hand this image.

“Feels so good, Pika… make me feel so good!”

He groaned into her pillow, cheeks turning pink. ‘Gonna…’

Kurapika gasped as he came, thankfully he’d thought to grab a tissue before hand.

It seemed he came just in time too, because the sound of the sink turning off had the blonde scurrying to his side of the bed.

“Kurapika, I’m done!”

‘Kurapika…’

In his imagination, (Name) still called him Pika. Kurapika knew it was his own fault she didn’t use that name anymore, but it still hurt sometimes.

He didn’t hate it, not in the slightest. He couldn’t hate anything (Name) gave him, not the nickname, not anything else. Kurapika would even love any scars, bruises, or marks she left on his pale skin.

And if he thought about that anymore, he’d get hard again. “Alright. I ordered room service for breakfast, should be here soon.”

She grinned, plopping down next to him. “Really? Thanks Kurapika!”

Her thighs was touching his, the smell of mint and her moisturizer making him sigh. “I’ll be right back.”

He climbed out of bed, putting on the slippers (Name) brought for him and walking to the bathroom to get his morning started.

——————

Kurapika glanced at the clock. It was around 2 pm, and (Name) was still in her pajamas, cuddled up in bed.

Despite having nothing to do today, Kurapika had dressed in one of his suits, and sat at the desk nearby typing away at his laptop.

The blonde stole glances at her, his tired eyes lingering on her relaxed face. ‘Must be nice, to be able to relax like that.’

He didn’t feel jealous, though, well maybe a little, but mostly felt… happy. This was how it was supposed to be. (Name), relaxed and happy as she snacked on some chips and FaceTimed Killua, and Kurapika diligently working to further his goals.

“Hey, where’s the twink?”

(Name) bit her lip stop her from laughing. “Killua, you’re not supposed to say that word, it’s an adult word.”

“But he is one! Just look at him!”

Kurapika frowned in his seat. ‘What does that even mean? Oh, I can google it.’

He switched to another tab and typed the word into google, waiting a moment for it to load.

“…”

(Name) jumped when her phone was ripped from her hand, Kurapika holding it to his face. “Killua you little-“

“Whoops, gotta go, talk to ya later (Name)!”

Kurapika huffed, handing (Name) her phone back. “Sorry, Kurapika. He teases everyone.”

The blonde plopped down onto the bed, lying down right beside her. “Really? It seems I’m the victim of all his teasing these days.”

(Name) gave him a sympathetic look.

‘But… I guess I do deserve it, considering…’

Kurapika sighed, sitting back up. “We should be getting ready soon. Dinner starts at 5 pm sharp, and it’s a fifteen minute drive there.”

She grumbled, burying her face in her pillow. Kurapika wanted to laugh, to lay his head against her back and cuddle with her for the rest of the time they had before dinner.

But he didn’t. The blonde stood up, shaking her shoulder gently. “Come on, (Name). You’ve been in bed all day, it’s time to get up.”

She looked up at him, sticking her tongue out before burying her face back into the pillow.

‘Did she just..?’

Kurapika blinked at the girl, tilting his head. ‘She did. She actually did.’

“(Name)… you have so many things to do. You have to get dressed, do your makeup…”

“Don’t wanna!”

She pulled the comforter over her head, Kurapika having to keep a straight face even when she wiggled around like a little caterpillar.

“Alright, you asked for it.”

Kurapika threw the blanket off and grabbed her by the hips, pulling her into a sitting position before picking her up.

“H-hey!”

Kurapika didn’t budge as her legs kicked, only patting her thigh. He sat her in front of the vanity, patting her head before smiling. “There. If I have to carry you from place to place, I will. You’re a spoiled wife, aren’t you?”

(Name)’s face heated up, looking down at her lap. Hearing him call her his wife, having him treat her so gently made her feel… strange. Maybe it was her being hormonal because of her period, but she felt a familiar heat in between her legs.

“Kurapika…”

She pouted at him as he walked back towards the closet, pulling out her dress and his suit.

“Yes, Mrs. Kurta?”

Kurapika felt a little bad, getting her all embarrassed like that, but in his mind it was necessary. They needed to practice being a married couple… and maybe he enjoyed pretending they were together.

Maybe he enjoyed it a bit too much.

“… hmph. Never mind.”

She began to apply her makeup, picking up brushes and what seemed like little sponges. It was fascinating really, the blonde having to tear his eyes away so he could get ready himself.

—————

“Kurapika, could you zip me up please?”

The blonde nodded, turning around as he fiddled with his tie. ‘Stupid thing, I can never get this right…’

When he looked up from his chest, his eyes went wide.

Standing before him was (Name), but he’d never seen her look like this before. The dress hugged her figure, the sight of her (s/c) plush thigh poking through the slit making his heart skip a beat.

As he zipped her up, he got a good look at her face.

Elegant was the first word that came to mind, exactly what Kurapika had requested. Her makeup was perfect, (Name) looking up at him through her thick lashes. “Do I look alright?”

The blonde cleared his throat, standing up straight. “You look more than alright, you look… beautiful.”

He knelt down to place her shoes on her feet, internally gushing at the way her dress fell around her thigh as she lifted her leg up.

“It’s a little long… I’m afraid I’ll step on the bottom of my dress.”

She stared down at him, tilting her head slightly.

“… I’ll carry you around if I need to.”

“Kurapika!”

He laughed, putting on her other shoe before standing up. “I still don’t understand why you chose silver shoes. Nothing from my outfit matches that.”

“Well…”

Kurapika opened his hand, revealing a small silver necklace. “Kurapika, you didn’t-“

“Use Gyo.”

(Name) furrowed her eyebrows, but did as told. “It’s… made of nen.”

Kurapika gestures for her to turn around. (Name) turned, lifting up her hair. He placed the necklace around her, fingers brushing against her neck. Kurapika paused when she shivered, noticing that reaction down for later.

“There.”

He had her turn once again, eyes drinking her in.

Now her neck wasn’t bare, a necklace made from HIS nen claiming it. The sight of her bare neck and shoulders the day before when he bought her that dress had Kurapika’s heart thumping against his chest like crazy.

With lust, and the nasty emotion that seemed to plague him when it came to her.

Possessiveness.

“It’s for your protection. If you move too far away, the chain will disappear, alerting me that you’ve moved out of the range of my nen.”

This was the lie he made up to justify this action to her, and himself. “And… I think it matches your shoes perfectly.”

He stared at her with half lidded eyes, hands on her shoulders as he looked her up and down. “Hmm… it seems you’re almost ready.”

“Almost?”

Kurapika held up a paper bag. “We have to put out wigs on!”

(Name) stared at him for what felt like an eternity, the blonde shrinking into himself a little.

“… couldn’t you have told me we were wearing wigs BEFORE I finished doing my hair?”

“… I forgot, sorry.”

(Name) pulled on her wig, grumbling to herself as Kurapika did the same. “… I am sorry. I didn’t even think about it.”

She sighed, glancing at him, and immediately laughed.

He looked like the epitome of a wet cat, twiddling his thumbs after putting on the same wig he’d worn in York New back then.

“Oh, my sweet husband, it’s okay~” she cooed, pinching his cheek. He frowned at her, cheeks a light pink.

“You’re teasing me.”

“Only a little. Come on, let’s go.”

Kurapika followed behind her, grabbing her purse before he opened the door. “After you, sweetheart.”

She felt her face heat up, but was quick to retort. “Thank you, my love~”

Kurapika stared at the girl as she continued walking, cheeks red. ‘Her love? Maybe I was once, but…’

His eyes softened, a wave of regret washing over him as he let her take the lead.

‘Surely, she can’t love me anymore. Not… not in the way she did before.’

—————

Kurapika opened (Name)’s door, helping her out. “This is where we’re meeting him. From this point on, I am your husband, and you are my wife. Make sure you remember.”

He stopped her, adjusting her wig. It was a different color and length than her natural hair, the girl huffing. “Of course. You drilled our love story into my head to the point I can recite it by heart.”

He gave her a smile. “Perfect. Now…”

He looped his arm with hers, leading her towards the restaurant. “Let’s go, don’t want to keep our acquaintance waiting.”

They entered the restaurant, (Name) holding back a gasp. It was extravagant, lit up by candlelight. Several couples were already waiting inside, chatting amongst each other.

‘Act natural. Just do what the others are doing.’

(Name) observed one of the couples. The man sat down, pulling his lover into his lap due to the lack of seating. His lover giggled, kissing his cheek as they continued their conversation.

Kurapika had also seen this, glancing down at his companion for her reaction. She was frowning.

‘Ah, so I shouldn’t do that.’

(Name) took the lead, pulling him towards two seats that had just opened up. “Come on, honey, you know how these heels fire me out.”

(Name) sat down, crossing one leg over the other, revealing her bare thigh. Kurapika was quick to drop the ground, pulling dress so it draped over her bare leg.

“Careful, dear, save that for later, when I have you all to myself.”

(Name)’s face heated up, the blonde leaning forward a bit. “Don’t want to catch any unwanted attention.”

He sat next to her, keeping a hand on her thigh. (Name) assumed this was to keep up the act, but Kurapika knew the truth.

He’d seen one of the men eyeing (Name) and had to make sure they knew she was taken. ‘Just… just to keep up the act. It would be suspicious if someone flirted with my supposed wife.’

But as his heart thumped away in his chest, eyes red behind his contacts, his heart knew this was a lie. He wanted others to know that she was his.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kurta?”

A waiter stood at the podium a few feet away. “That’s us.”

Kurapika stood, offering his hand to help her up. As the waiter lead them away, Kurapika sent a glare at the man that had been staring at her moments before.

“Kurapika Kurta, it’s great to meet you!”

The blonde blinked as he was pulled into a hug, a strong hand clapping him over the back. (Name) watched this, having to hold a gloved hand over her mouth to hide her laughter.

The man that hugged him was tall and beefy, with short finger hair and a thick, wiry beard to match. He seemed uncomfortable in his nice tux, tugging at the collar slightly as he turned to greet (Name).

“Ahh, this must be the wife you mentioned. I’m Victor Hummin.”

He held her hand in his, kissing the back of it. “I’m (Name) Kurta, it’s nice to meet you.”

She gave him a pretty smile, Victor elbowing the blonde. “Ahh, I see the praise you gave her is all true. She truly is a beauty.”

(Name) glanced to the blonde, who was avoiding eye contact. “Oh, Kurapika…”

She playfully hit his arm, the blonde blushing. Victor smiled at this, sitting back down. “Ahh, newlyweds. Remember when we were like that, muffin?”

(Name) and Kurapika glanced to his left, seeing a woman sitting down next to him. She had tan skin, and dark brown hair that went way past her shoulders. Honestly, she was gorgeous, with an hourglass figure and pretty face.

“Sit, sit, I already ordered some drinks to get us started.”

‘Drinks?’

(Name) glanced at Kurapika, who spoke up. “Ah, thank you, but my wife doesn’t drink.”

He held her hand with his affectionately, kissing the back of it. “She’s-“

“It’s alright, Kurapika. I should be fine, just for tonight.”

His smile became a little more forced at her words, sighing. “Well, if that’s what you want…”

He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “If I’m being honest, I’m a little nervous, so it should help mellow me out a bit. I’ve never been on a double date before…”

Kurapika’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, I see what she’s doing. Any awkward behavior can now be blamed on her nerves or the alcohol. (Name)…’

“Ah, that makes sense. Don’t worry, this is our first double date as well, haha.”

(Name) had seamlessly explained away any awkwardness while also making herself seem more relatable, causing the two to lower their guard. ‘She’s… really good.’

Kurapika let her hand go, leaning back in his chair. “So, let’s get to business…”

Victor held his hand up. “Ah, ah, ah, not until we have our drinks. It’s…”

He sighed, his wife leaning closer to pat his back to comfort him. “It’s a lot.”

Kurapika, ever impatient was about to demand he speak, but (Name) spoke up just in time. “Thank you, Mr. Hummins, I can see that it bothers you to think about it. To know you’re here to help up warms my heart.”

(Name) gave him a sympathetic smile, placing a gloved hand on Kurapika’s back. “More than anything, I want my dear husband to find peace, so I appreciate anything you’re willing to tell us.”

Kurapika felt his heart melt. Even if this was all acting, he couldn’t help but feel so loved in the moment. He leaned his head against hers, kissing her cheek. “Thank you, love. I couldn’t ask for a better wife.”

(Name) turned to look at him, face hot. “K-Kurapika…”

There faces were so close, noses almost touching. Before he could lean forward to close the gap, they heard Victor clear his throat.

“Ehem. Our drinks are here.”

The two pulled away from each other, looking in opposite directions as they were served their drinks.

‘Did… did he almost kiss me?’

‘DID I ALMOST KISS HER!?’

Kurapika attempted to calm himself down, downing his drink as (Name) sipped on hers. The couple across from them glanced at each other before laughing.

“Ahh, it’s your honeymoon, right? I remember our honeymoon. I could barely keep my hands off of you.”

“Ohh, stop it Vic, you’ll embarrass them.”

And embarrass them it did, (Name) also downing her drink.

“Now… please, let’s talk business.”

A light pink had taken over Kurapika’s cheeks. (Name) assumed it was from the alcohol, not from his mind running wild with thoughts of kissing her, holding her close…

‘Maybe… maybe it would make it more believable if we-‘

“Ah, yes. I’ll tell you everything I know so far.”

Victor suddenly looked very taking a small sip from his drink. “As you know, I’m a flesh collector.”

(Name) barely prevented herself from reacting with disgust to the man’s words. ‘Kurapika didn’t tell me that part…’

“But I take my morals very seriously. I only take flesh from those who have consented to having it taken from them. I pay them handsomely too, of course.”

He let out a hearty laugh, Kurapika gripping (Name)’s hand tightly as he did. She could see a hint of red in his grey contacts, quickly pulling him a little closer.

“I see, how kind of you.” (Name) said, giving him a strained smile.

“Yes, and that’s the reason why I’m here today. When I heard about the scarlet eyes of the Kurta being sold, I was honestly excited at first. Most collectors have heard of their beauty, their color being one of the seven most beautiful in the world.”

(Name) nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

“When I found out how the eyes were obtained…”

He clenched his fist. “I was sick. Just a month ago, I was invited to another flesh collectors home. We like to brag about our collections to each other, as most collectors do.”

Victor sighed, eyes staring into his drink, the ice melting. He took a swig before continuing. “The eyes… they were so small, there was no way they came from an adult.”

Kurapika’s grip on (Name)’s hand increased to the point it was painful, but she didn’t mind. “That’s awful.”

“Indeed. I attempted to reason with my old friend, but he would hear none of it. He had several different pairs, I think three or four. All of them… all of them were the same, small size.”

His wife patted his back gently. “When he realized what he saw, Victor was inconsolable. Immediately, he made contact with the Hunter Association to get in contact with Melody.”

“Melody?”

They nodded. “Yes, she’s a music hunter, and your friend. Although most of the underground know of your existence, little know more than your name and the fact that you have the scarlet eyes. Thankfully, I’m good friends with the Nostrades.”

‘Ah, of course he is.’ Kurapika thought, thumb brushing over (Name)’s hand. The girl glanced at him, leaning against his shoulder.

“She made sure I was being genuine, and got me in contact with you. Now…”

Victor sipped on his drink again, the nearly fully melted ice clinking against the glass. “I will tell you half of the information on him now…

He finished his drink, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Half after you give me what we agreed upon.”

Kurapika nodded, letting out a sigh. “I understand. Go ahead, then.”

Victor folded his hands. “The man’s name is Dracule Midnight, professional flesh collector. He lives in Padokea, with his wife and two children.”

Kurapika let out a shaky breath. (Name)’s eyebrows furrowed, her hand gently rubbing Kurapika’s arm. “He has a family? How can someone that has the ability to care for others collect the eyes of children? Does he even understand what they had to do to reach that color?”

She wanted to scream, to tell the man off, but Kurapika calmed her with a gentle touch. “Shh… thank you, is that all the information you’re willing to give?”

“For now. For more, you’ll need to fulfill your end of the deal. Don’t get me wrong through, if you decide you don’t want to, you can leave right now and go about your night. But I can tell you things that are more than worth the price. Names, the address of his mansion, his schedule… his nen ability.”

(Name) glanced at Kurapika, seeing his face deep in thought.

“What… what is the price?”

Victor glanced to his wife, who seemed tired. “He didn’t tell you?”

The man sighed. “I believe in getting consent from the people I collect from. And because the Kurta clan has been wiped off the planet, there’s only one person left who… CAN consent.”

(Name) took a moment to process that, eyes widening with the realization of what he was implying. “Kurapika, no… no you wouldn’t…”

“That’s none of your business. I will hold my end of the deal.”

Victor nodded. “I’d like to see them. To make sure.”

Kurapika took a deep breath, (Name) begging him with her eyes for him to stop as he pulled his contacts out.

“Ahh, beautiful.”

She stood suddenly, pulling him up by the sleeve.

“Excuse me, sir, but I need to talk to my stupid husband before he makes a mistake that will piss his wife off.”

Kurapika was pulled towards the bathroom, Victor watching them go with a sigh. “That’s what he gets for hiding something from his wife. Right, muffin?”

Victor nudged his wife, but received no reaction.

“… muffin?”

——————

“Kurapika i can’t believe you! Your eyes, seriously?”

“To be fair, it’s just one.”

“Oh, my bad, it’s only one of the two eyes you have, that’s totally better! Look at how relieved I am now!”

“… you don’t look relieved.”

(Name) threw her hands up in the air. “Oh my god. Why are you so calm? I don’t understand. He wants your eye, Kurapika. Doesn’t that upset you?”

He leaned against the wall. “I told you I’m willing to do anything to complete my mission. Losing one eye is nothing compared to what I will gain.”

She frowned. “One eye, as if that’s all he wants. You know they’ll have to put you under anesthetics to remove it, who knows if they’ll stop at just one! Are you willing to risk your vision over information?”

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “He was cleared by Melody, (Name). If he had any bad intentions, she wouldn’t have connected him to me.”

(Name) looked down, holding onto her dress. “But…”

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at the ceiling. He expertly swiped at the corner of her eye, unable to look at her. “… don’t cry, you’ll mess up your makeup.”

(Name) looked down, sniffling as she held back het tears. The blonde sighed, summoning his chains. “… I won’t lie and say I won’t take the deal. I intend to.”

(Name)’s lip quivered, but Kurapika continued. “But…”

He summoned his dowsing chain. “I’ll use my dowsing chain, and if he’s intending to take both of my eyes, we’ll leave.”

She nodded slowly, allowing Kurapika to lead her out of the bathroom.

‘I hope he’s attempting to trick him…’

The arrived back at their table. “I’ve made my decision, but befo-“

Kurapika didn’t even get the chance to finish his sentence, Victor screaming out. “She’s not breathing!”

As if a flip switched, (Name) moves to his wife’s side, crouching down to place a finger on her neck. “… no pulse.”

“No… no…”

She pulled out her phone and began calling an ambulance when the man began to choke.

“Mr. Hummins? Are you-“

She gasped, seeing his body shake. Immediately assuming he may be choking on something, she attempted the Heimlich maneuver.

“Shit, it’s not working!”

In a panic, (Name) pulled off her glove and placed her hand on his skin. Kurapika watched, unable to do anything as (Name) activated her nen.

“Sir, can y-“

She gasped when he gurgled up fluid, pulling her hand away.

Kurapika’s eyes widened. “That’s the result of poisoning!”

‘But how is the question…’

They hadn’t eaten anything yet, so it must have been the drinks. ‘But we both drank ours quickly and are showing no symptoms… unless…’

He glanced between their glasses. “So that’s it! The ice!”

Their ice was still floating at the bottom of their cup, revealing a slight milky color as they melted. “The poison was in the ice, but why..?”

He immediately swiveled his head around, catching the man who’d been looking at them earlier staring in their direction.

‘Shit, SHIT!’

Kurapika grabbed (Name)’s hand and ran, hearing someone shout to run after them as they exited.

There were two thoughts on his mind. The first being to find a place to hide, the second…

‘I have to protect her. At any cost.’

They rounded a corner, the sound of pounding footsteps getting closer. He turned his head in every directions, spotting a dark alleyway to his left.

Kurapika pulled her in, shielding her body with his own. “They came this way! Make sure to check every nook and cranny!”

‘Fuck! They’re going to catch us!’

Kurapika looked down at (Name) eyes scanning her face. She looked scared, holding onto his shirt as she watched the opening of the alleyway.

“…”

He ripped his wig off before grabbing hers and throwing it into the dark. “H-hey, what are y-“

“Do you trust me?”

She paused, eyes darting from him to the alleyway before she answered. “… yes.”

Her hesitation didn’t go unnoticed, but the blonde didn’t have the time to care about that now. He took a deep breath before placing a hand on her cheek and leaning forward.

(Name)’s eyes went wide when his lips pressed into hers. His eyes stayed open briefly to look out of the alleyway before they squeezed shut.

Several things went through Kurapika’s mind when his lips touched hers, none of them holy. She was stiff, pushing him away slightly, but it seemed the more she pushed the further he leaned in.

After a moment, he pulled back, pressing his forehead against hers. “Relax, just act natural.”

His pretty scarlet eyes glanced to the opening of the alleyway before pressing his lips into hers once again. Realization flickered in her (e/c) eyes before she sighed into the kiss. ‘Act natural. Well…’

She pulled him closer by the front of his jacket, surprising the blonde. He’d been hesitant to further the kiss before, but it seemed she was ready.

His eyes fluttered close as he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of her lips on his, pining her to the wall. She gasped slightly, Kurapika taking this chance to slip his tongue past her lips.

“Mmph..!”

She whimpered into his mouth, causing the blonde to push further, his hand wandering down her body to grab hold of her thigh. She gasped when he lifted it to wrap around his waist, so close that his body fully pressed against hers. His hand slipped under the slit in her dress, pulling her in closer as she tangled hands in his hair.

“Are they in that alley?”

“Nah, just some horny lesbians.”

Even as the footsteps retreated away, Kurapika continued to deepen the kiss, their tongues dancing. His hand moved from her thigh, up her back to reach for her zipper.

“Ah, I think they’re gone.”

(Name) panted, hands pushing him back a little, only for him to lower his head to her neck. “K-Kurapika!”

“Can’t… can’t be sure. Not wearing… my contacts…”

He placed a kiss on the spot he’d brushed against earlier that day. She gasped, gripping his shoulders. “Shh, relax. Keep an eye on the entrance.”

He inhaled her scent before he lapped at her skin, causing the girl to yelp. His lips made contact, gently nibbling on her neck.

“Hahh, Kurapika!”

He gripped her thighs, the bulge in his pants pressing into her, too obvious to ignore. (Name) did her job to her best ability, barely able to focus when he was ravaging her neck. When he legs buckled, he lifted her up, holding her up against the wall as his lips moved from her neck back to her lips.

“Mmph!”

The way he was kissing her made her head spin. He seemed desperate, holding onto her like if he didn’t, she’d disappear.

His hips pressed further into hers, causing him to moan into her mouth.

After a few more seconds, he pulled back, a line of saliva connecting their tongues. He stared at her with half lidded scarlet eyes, tongue only inches from her own.

He continued to stare, before blinking slowly. ‘Oh. Oh…’

His face was red, hair a little messy from her hands tugging at it. Name) wasn’t doing much better, her lipstick smeared, eyes blurry from how hot and bothered she was.

“…”

He lowered her to the ground, making sure she could stand before he peeked out of the alleyway.

“… it’s clear.”

Kurapika grabbed her hand and began walking away. For a moment, the air was quiet. Neither of the two spoke, both still too flustered to think.

“… I’m sorry.”

Kurapika was the first to speak, staring ahead of them.

“It’s just, we needed to hide our faces, and my contact were off, and-“

“Kurapika, it’s fine, I understand. I know you wouldn’t do that without reason.”

He sighed, sending her a smile over his shoulder. “Thank you for being so understanding. I promise this won’t happen again.”

(Name) nodded, hand going to her neck. The spots his lips touched were still warm, and she could taste his drink on her tongue.

‘He was… poking into me again.’

She twiddled her thumbs. ‘It… it could have been his knee… and even if it was… something else, it’s natural for a man’s body to react that way to stimulation. I…’

“You disgust me.”

‘… he’s a good actor, that’s all. He… he doesn’t think of me that way…’

Kurapika’s words all those years ago rang through her head, squashing any wishful thinking she may have had. But still, (Name) couldn’t help the way her body trembled at the memory of his tongue in her mouth, his hand on her thigh.

‘He’s acting so calm, like nothing happened. Of course…’

Kurapika was facing away from her, and for good reason. His face was red, the tent in his pants grown almost painful from how horny he was.

He’d pressed right into her pussy, the residual feeling of her warmth making him nearly whimper as he led her towards their hotel.

‘I nearly… I nearly unzipped her dress.’

Kurapika bit his lip as he glanced back again, spotting the spots on her neck he nibbled and sucked on. ‘God… she looks so pretty right now. All I want to do is-‘

“Ah, finally.”

(Name) let go of his hand, leaning down to take off her heels as they entered the hotel. Kurapika blinked.

“Wait, you’ll get your feet all dirty.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Meh, it’s worth it. My feet are k-“

She yelped when he picked her up bridal style, holding her in his arms gently. “Of your feet were hurting, you should have told me.”

(Name) didn’t answer, much too tired to argue, she just leaned her head against his chest as he carried her to their room.

He set her on the bed, handing her makeup wipes and pulling her suitcase over. “I’ll change in the bathroom, so you can change here. Don’t worry, I’ll hang your dress up for you after.”

——————

When Kurapika finished changing and jerking off in the bathroom, he smiled softly at the sight of (Name) curled up in bed.

His smile faded when he spotted tears running down her cheeks, the blonde rushing forward. “(Name)? (Name) what’s wrong? If it’s about earlier, I-“

She shook her head, swiping at her tears. “No, no it’s not that. I…”

She sniffled, Kurapika climbing into bed to lie next to her. “That man… when I used my nen, all I did was speed up his death. If I didn’t, maybe someone would have been able to save him…”

Kurapika grabbed her hands, shaking his head. “No, no, don’t blame yourself (Name). The poison used to kill him can’t be cured. You didn’t speed up his death, you stopped his suffering. And…”

He thought back to Victor’s face, in complete anguish when he realized his lover had died right in front of them.

“… I think he would have preferred dying with his wife.”

Kurapika sighed. “Can you really be so attached to a person that you would die without them?”

It was quiet, eerily so. When Kurapika looked down at (Name), she had a faraway look in her (e/c) eyes.

He didn’t understand why, but he wanted to comfort her in that moment, to hold her close.

So despite his better judgment, he scooted closer, pulling her into his arms once again.

“Kurap-“

He shushed her. “Shh, just sleep, (Name). We have a long day tomorrow.”

Too exhausted to question him, (Name) nodded, nuzzling against his chest. “Goodnight, Kurapika…”

“… goodnight, (Name).”

[donki-330]

REGARDING KOSA, PLEASE READ!

"KOSA's primary objective is blocking online content that is harmful to children – including content that may cause anxiety or depression. While well-intentioned, the bill defines 'harmful content' vaguely, leaving a lot of room for interpretation for whoever is enforcing the legislation – in this case, the FTC" (Mountain States Policy Center)

This is not my usual post as I like to reblog about my fandoms and interests, but this is something that I really felt needed to be said.

Reading up on it, and this is obviously a ruse using the excuse of "protecting minors" in order to gain more control over the American people's right to privacy. The ways that they will implement things are so vague in their wording, and it scares me what will happen if our privacies will be impeded on like this.

And from a neutral standpoint, why not just implement programs to educate the people about the excessive use of technology and support communities at the core instead of passing a bill where it will only really change things in the technological world? EX: Even if passed and helps with filtering adult content, children and teens can still binge shows on streaming platforms and Youtube, so isn't it just ironic that it wouldn't solve one of the main issues they are claiming to end?

I was skeptical too, but after doing my own research it's clear what is at stake.

However please do your own research as well to better understand yourself how this act will impact individuals online!

[kurishiri]

06 . . . “ drowning in the shallows ”

— 🐚 elbert’s main route chapter 6 his side story. thanks to @myusuchaa for providing a recording! 🥺🫶

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties for characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: objectification, non-consensual touching, bullying.

——It was as though I was drowning in the shallows.

(I wonder if Kate is alright.)

When I saw that she was by Al’s side from my peripheral vision, though, I let out a sigh in relief.

(...Thank goodness.)

Middle-aged gentleman: Oh, you mustn’t turn away from me. Look at me, Elbert.

Elbert: …Alright.

Middle-aged gentleman: Truly, your beauty is second to none.

Green-eyed lady: Elbert, turn toward me as well… My, are you a little short on sleep, perhaps?

Elbert: …I’m fine.

White-haired lady: Are you sure? You aren’t so scared you can’t sleep, aren’t you? I can sing you a lullaby again.

Elbert: …Thank you.

I was showered with admiration that I was beautiful.

Gazes would tangle with each other, and hands would reach out toward me.

And every time, I would push down the discomfort I felt rushing through me, and swallow down the nausea threatening to overflow.

(...I, can’t breathe.)

They were distant relatives of mine, and so, after my father’s death, they would try to ‘love’ me in excess.

At times like these, it was always the same — it felt like I was drowning.

Even so, I would bear it without moving from where I was, and for me, that was my only choice.

Because, if I tried to breathe again and move from where I was, my Curse would make the people around me sad.

The discomfort, and the repulsion, too——

I accepted it all, as it should be.

Elbert: ......

But, even so, I could never grow accustomed to the way they touched me, as though leaving their fingerprints so that it clung to my body.

My breathing felt like it would lose its rhythm at any moment, so I numbed my own heart to bear it.

And at that moment, I suddenly felt someone gently touch my elbow.

(......) [surprised]

The hand touching my body — its touch somewhat hesitant as though concerned for me — was not my own, and yet, it felt much more comforting...

...and when I turned around, there I saw Kate, her brows furrowed in worry.

Kate: Lord Elbert, it would appear as though the host has not yet arrived… so, would you care to come outside?

Elbert: …Kate.

Kate: U, um… your complexion looks slightly pale, and so I figured going outside for some fresh air would benefit you…

(Ahh...)

(I’ve made you sad again.)

And yet, just a single word from her was like magic, as it became easier to breathe, dispeling that which had been making me suffer.

It made me want to cling onto that hand which extended toward me, and rise up from the deep depths of the water that threatened to drown me.

(But... I can’t.)

(I, can’t move from here.)

(Not until I have the ‘most beautiful thing in the world.’)

I stood where I was, unable to take her hand and return the gesture.

——That would bring about my own ruin. [1]

Green-eyed lady: I apologize, but who might you be? Elbert, is she a new guard or something else of the sort?

Green-eyed lady: If that is the case, then excuse me, but your dress looks like it’s weeping. Not to mention your conduct is quite disgraceful.

(...!)

The sharp point of the spear that should have been pointed toward me was now facing her, baring its fangs.

Middle-aged gentleman: Haha, there is no need to go that far; I feel bad for her now.

Middle-aged gentleman: Young miss, we have been Elbert’s acquaintances since he was young. So, would you mind staying out of this?

(...Stop this.)

The feelings, which had become dull and muddy as it robbed me of my breathing from within the depths of my chest,

tried to pull the chains, crawling out from within.

Middle-aged gentleman: Are you listening, young miss?

Kate: …!

Grabbing her jaw, he roughly lifted her face so that she had to look up.

(Please, don’t hurt her...)

Middle-aged gentleman: Now, that just won’t do, a rubbish stone like you, standing among the finest gem in the showcase.

White-haired lady: Truly… she is a disgrace to beauty.

Middle-aged gentleman: What is that look in your eyes?

The moment when those eyes, directed toward Kate, became clouded in wrath,

The discomfort and the repulsion, and the sadness and anger all became a chaotic mess as they mixed together——

and spilled from my throat.

Elbert: ……Could you stop?

(She... has not committed a single sin.)

——She was strong, and kind.

Even when the sins before her eyes tried to hurt her, she tried her best to look forward with a smile.

Even when she lamented over the things that had hurt her, she tried to not let sadness consume her.

And, when she thought of another’s happiness——she would look so happy as she smiled.

Kate was like the shell she found at the beach — as pure as the snow.

(There is no reason for Kate to receive this kind of slander...)

(...Not a single one.)

Elbert: Touching her, criticizing her… please stop that.

E: ...Please.

It was like my throat, filled to the brim with something muddy on the brink of overflowing, had squeezed out those words in a murmur.

They at last let go of her jaw.

Middle-aged gentleman: ...If you say so, Elbert, I suppose it cannot be helped.

White-haired lady: I apologize, that may have been a little uncouth of me. I will be careful from now on.

Green-eyed lady: Let us meet again, Elbert. In a quiet place no one can interrupt, that is.

They looked somewhat disappointed, but nonetheless they tried to distance themselves.

(...Thank goodness.)

(Now Kate doesn’t have to go through any more pain.)

But——

Kate: W-wait.

Kate’s brows were furrowed as she, for some reason, called out to stop them.

(...Kate?)

Kate: If it’s possible, could you treat him the same way you treat me?

Elbert: ... [surprised]

Middle-aged gentleman: ...What you are saying is beyond me.

Kate: I’m saying that you could greet him more normally...

White-haired lady: ...Don’t get full of yourself. You are naught but a stranger; do not speak with me ever again.

With those biting words, they left Kate alone for sure this time.

This entire time, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her — not once.

(Kate is strong, and kind.)

(Even when she knows her actions will hurt herself, she tries to face them nevertheless.)

—— Flashback ——

???: Uu... hu... hic...

Kate: ...! Sorry about that...!

Elbert: ...!

—— End flashback ——

——Just like that day when she had pushed my chest away and ran to Daisy’s side in the pool of blood,

she was trying to pull me out from the water’s depths.

(Every time I feel that strength of hers, and that kindness, too, I...)

(...I can never, look away from her.)

Elbert: Kate...

Kate: ...I’m sorry, even though I don’t know your circumstances, I did something out of turn.

Elbert: ...No... you have no need to apologize.

E: Rather, I apologize for making you see that... I’m sorry.

Kate: But, it’s not your fault...

Elbert: ... [surprised]

Before I knew it, I had become desperate.

Kate: Things like admiration, or love... those are not justifiable reasons to push their selfish desires onto you.

K: Can I ask why, didn’t you resist?

(You are strong, and kind.)

(But...)

(...Maybe, just a little too kind.)

Elbert: ......I’m used to it. And...

E: With that distance, one careless move and... I would have stepped into their shadows.

E: I don’t want to do that to them.

Kate: Lord Elbert, you...

K: ...are too kind.

Elbert: ...That’s not true.

Kate: ...No, it is.

(...She doesn’t know.)

Just how much one’s sad memories could gnaw at one’s heart as if being eaten by worms, or even kill them.

And, just how much this life of mine may be abhorrently cursed.

Neither did she know the sins I have committed — she was privy to none.

(Just as there was no reason for you to be hurt,)

(There was no reason for me to be protected by you... Kate.)

Elbert: ...As I thought, I am not kind.

E: Like now, I’ve made you sad.

I wanted to return that kindness with a smile of my own, but it seemed her sad expression wouldn’t let up.

Just from her eyes, I could tell that she was so wholeheartedly worried for me to the point it hurt...

...and once again, I was able to breathe.

——Is she, beautiful?

I felt like, from the deepest, darkest depths of the hole that was agape in my chest, I could hear a hollow voice.

(...I don’t know.)

(And it’s fine if I still don’t know the answer.)

(Not yet, at least——)

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🏷️: @magicalkoo @complexivelovely @just-a-writerr (leave a comment, send an ask, or dm me saying you want to be added to the tag list if you want to be tagged!)

NOTES:

[1] the original line here is [ーーそれが、災いした] (sore ga, wazawai shita). I wasn’t completely sure how to translate it, but 災いする (wazawai suru), the dictionary form of 災いした (wazawai shita), means to ‘bring the ruin of’ or to ‘cause misfortune.’ If anyone’s got a better or more accurate way to translate this, I’m all ears!

[thornyriver]

Hey you!!

This is a Lawrence Oleander RP blog ran by @monsterbaite (21 M) purely for fun and an excuse to show off cool stuff I find. Playing along with your favorite fictional characters is fun, but remember that there's a real person behind the screen.

The Boyfriend To Death franchise is owned and created by Gatobob and is entirely intended for a mature audience. Similarly this blog will contain subjects not suited for minors. Any interaction from anyone under 18 will lead to an immediate block.

Warnings in advance for FICTIONAL: death (human/animal), violence, excessive gore, decay, bugs, implied breeches of consent, substance abuse, discussions of mental health, general horror, etc.

There may be ACTUAL photos of dead animals I find (likely censored) as I do collect bones in my free time. While I no longer practice sfx makeup it may eventually be featured on this blog.

If those aren't subjects you're comfortable viewing or engaging with you're strongly encouraged to block this blog. If you don't want a post of yours I reblogged on here then tell me and I'll delete it. Scroll responsibly.

[borninwinter81]

William Blake and Good Omens - an intertextual analysis

Please note: I did another version of this and posted it, but it was quite hurried, way too short, and was incorrect in a number of ways so I deleted it. However it had already been reblogged by the time i did so. If you happen to see another version of this meta that's not the right one, this is the version I'm happy with!

After my previous post re William Blake and Good Omens did so well, and so many people showed an interest I've decided to do a more in depth piece. This is focused upon the TV version of Good Omens, not the book.

Please don't tag Neil in this - although it's mostly textual analysis I do a very small amount of S3 theorising, and I know he doesn't want to see that.

I am in no way suggesting that Neil and Terry specifically wrote Good Omens with Blake in mind, I honestly just wanted an excuse to write more about Blake because I love his work so much, and I thought it would be interesting to try and apply some intertexuality since the works will contain similar themes, both being about God, religion, humanity, and angels and demons.

I also should stress that I am not an expert on Blake, there are people far more qualified to comment on him than I. I'm just a former literature student who loves his work.

There have been many different interpretations of Blake's work over the years, so it's completely fine to disagree with someone else's ideas about it, as with any work of art or literature. And although this piece is likely to be long, I'll barely be able to scratch the surface of all the possible meanings that could be ascribed to it.

Much like the old adage that if someone claims to understand quantum physics they're lying, I'm not sure anyone can truly fathom the full meaning of Blake's philosophy (especially in his later prophetic works, fuuuuuuck those beasts....), so if you're confused by him don't be discouraged, that's perfectly normal!

That being said, I wish to discuss the parallels between Good Omens and The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, my personal favourite and probably the most accessible of his longer works.

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence. From these contraries spring what the religious call Good & Evil. Good is the passive that obeys Reason. Evil is the active springing from Energy. Good is Heaven. Evil is Hell."

This excerpt is from near the opening and sets out the central idea of the work - that there is an essential duality to humanity, and each person is a combination of extremes. These extremes are not at war with each other, but rather are equally necessary, hence the "marriage" of the title. "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell" is a metaphor for the human experience.

Consistently throughout The Marriage... Blake refers to the two extremes as Reason and Energy. These terms could be construed in a number of different ways: thought versus emotion, mental versus physical, restraint versus desire, temperance versus excess, caution versus impulsiveness, and following the rules versus free will.

Blake's use of the word "Reason" in this context may be somewhat confusing, however he likely chose it because of his negative feelings towards science and the Age of Enlightenment. Blake saw literal visions of angels and prophets and the divinity of all creation, and hated that science reduced everything to formulas, calculations, and materialism, leaving the world bereft of wonder. "Art is the Tree of Life. Science is the Tree of Death" as he put it.

His ideas about "reason" are best expressed by his painting "Newton". Though inspired by the scientist, it is not a portrait - instead it depicts a figure deeply engrossed in scientific drawings and calculations, totally ignoring the beauty all around him - see below.

In the context of The Marriage... Reason is "passive" because it involves thought, caution, self-restraint, and doing what you are told, all states which block action. Energy is "active" because it is physical, emotional, impulsive and allows you to act based on your own choices and desires. It's quite clear that Blake feels "energy" is the preferable state - he tells us as much in the next section:

"The Voice of the Devil

All Bibles or sacred codes, have been the causes of the following Errors. 1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul. 2. That Energy, call'd Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, call'd Good, is alone from the Soul. 3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies. But the following Contraries to these are True. 1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that call'd Body is a portion of Soul discern'd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age. 2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy. 3. Energy is Eternal Delight."

So the body is an aspect of the soul, not separate from it, Energy comes from the body, it is Reason which places limits upon Energy, but Energy is eternal delight. Physicality, desire, impulsiveness, emotion, sensual pleasure and free will are not wrong or evil, they are aspects of the human soul and it is from them that we derive our enjoyment of life.

This does not necessarily mean that Reason is always bad. After all, Blake tells us that both are necessary for human existence. Sometimes temperance, caution and thought before action are required. But Reason becomes negative when it "usurps its place and governs the unwilling", i.e. when it completely supplants Energy and becomes the sole guiding factor, forcing passivity.

The Angels of The Marriage... are governed by "systematic reasoning", therefore they are wholly creatures of Reason. They are also "all religious" meaning they believe the "errors" stated above. His Devils by contrast "hate religion" meaning they believe the "contraries", which are the true statements according to Blake. It does not necessarily follow that they are wholly governed by Energy, merely that they believe Energy is "eternal delight".

It is worth noting at this point that Blake saw God and religion as totally separate. For Blake, "God" is that connection with divine wonder which was integral to his life; he tells us plainly that "all deities reside in the human breast" and that "the voice of honest indignation is the voice of God". In other words all humans have a direct and intuitive link with God and don't require the church, Priests, or a religious framework and adherence to a set of rules in order to reach moral decisions. These rules exist only to "enslave the vulgar".

The importance of this ability to make one's own choices about a moral course of action is shown by one of the "Memorable Fancy" sections of The Marriage...

Blake relates how a Devil is able to use an Angel's "systematic reasoning" against them:

"if Jesus Christ is the greatest man, you ought to love him in the greatest degree; now hear how he has given his sanction to the law of ten commandments: did he not mock at the sabbath, and so mock the sabbaths God? Murder those who were murder'd because of him? Turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery? Steal the labor of others to support him? Bear false witness when he omitted making a defence before Pilate? Covet when he pray'd for his disciples, and when he bid them shake off the dust of their feet against such as refused to lodge them? I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules."

The Angel has no way to refute the "reasoning" that Jesus was governed by Energy and "impulse", i.e. his own morality, the "voice of righteous indignation", not reasoning and the rules laid down by Heaven. And because Jesus is the Messiah he must be virtuous, therefore Energy is virtuous. The Angel immediately allows himself to be consumed by fire and is resurrected as a Devil.

How can these concepts apply to the world of Good Omens?  This was where my first draft was totally incorrect, as I tried to transfer Blake's ideas about Angels and Demons and Heaven and Hell wholesale, applying "reason" to Aziraphale and Heaven and "energy" to Crowley and Hell.  In fact the divide is slightly different in the GO-verse: Crowley and Aziraphale *both* represent Energy, and it is Heaven and Hell that act according to Reason.

At first glance Aziraphale may appear to toe the line - he needs creative application of the rules to make him comfortable with trying to avert the apocalypse, and when he doesn't like the way matters are being handled by the Archangels he seeks a higher authority and goes straight to God. He'd clearly prefer someone to be confirming the rightness of his actions for him. However this doesn't mean that he won't act on his own.

Immediately upon his introduction to the story he has given away his flaming sword, an action that he took impulsively because he felt it was right, not because someone told him to. It bothers him, but he does it anyway.

In the Job storyline, though he initially looks for some loophole within the rules that will allow him to save Job's children, in the end he directly goes against Heaven to do it, even though he believes he is going to Fall and become a Demon for having done so.

Though he resists it and exhausts all other possible avenues first, he eventually does take an active role in averting the apocalypse in S1.

He hides Jim at great personal risk to himself and against the will of both Heaven and Hell, again because he feels it is the right thing to do.

He is therefore perfectly capable of independent action from a position of "righteous indignation".

On a more basic level, he enjoys worldly pleasures, which all come from "energy" according to Blake's philosophy. Food and drink most obviously, but also books, music, dancing, theatre, art and so on.

Crowley is more easy to place as acting from Energy - in spite of the obvious aesthetic differences between them, he also loves worldly pleasures. Alcohol and coffee, snazzy clothing, driving his car with Queen blaring on the stereo, going to lunch with Aziraphale, Shakespearean comedies. All things he isn't supposed to want or need, and which baffle other Demons, in the same way that Aziraphale's desire for food baffles the Angels.

And he's absolutely willing to act according to his own moral impulses when they conflict with Hell's orders (or Heaven's), be it saving Job's children, ensuring that Elspeth doesn't die by suicide, or averting the apocalypse. Yes, he'll try to hide his "good" actions in order to avoid punishment by Hell, but he's firmly "on his own side".

Conversely, Heaven and Hell are both part of the structure of religion in this story, are strictly adherent to a set of rules, and their inhabitants appear to have no real desires of their own, other than possible advancement within the systems they uphold. They are "passive" in that their functions allow the status quo to continue and the "great plan" to unfold as they believe it is meant to, even though each side expects a different outcome.

Again, applying Blake's philosophy, I would say the reason for this is that "energy is from the body". Crowley and Aziraphale have both been given bodies in order that they can exist on earth, and *have* existed on earth for 6000 years, therefore "energy" - physical pleasures and free thinking - have become a part of who they are.

On a more fundamental level, possession of a body can be equated to humanity, and humanity has been shown as the most powerful force of all in this story, its influence having led to Adam becoming "human incarnate", and thus acting according to what he feels is right, instead of fulfilling the function he was destined for.

Heaven and Hell contain no material objects, and the Angels and Demons are spiritual beings, having no bodies, so they are not open to energy, and therefore are wholly governed by Reason, and the preservation of the religious structures within which they exist. Structures which, as for Blake, may not actually have anything to do with God herself. In S1 she is a distant observer, clearly aware through her narration of all that is going on, but not interceding in any way. In S2 she is barely present save for her voice being heard briefly in Job, and overlaid with Gabriel's on two occasions.

Bearing all this in mind, what predictions can we make regarding S3 by applying Blake's philosophy?

"The ancient tradition that the world will be consumed in fire at the end of six thousand years is true, as I have heard from Hell.

For the cherub with his flaming sword is hereby commanded to leave his guard at [the] tree of life, and when he does, the whole creation will be consumed and appear infinite and holy, whereas it now appears finite and corrupt.

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment."

The parallels of the cherub with his flaming sword, and the passage of 6000 years should be obvious to anyone reading this - they have of course been lifted directly from the Bible as they are in GO.

I have read some metas which speculated that Aziraphale's bookshop, or perhaps Earth itself, is a metaphorical stand-in for Eden or The Tree of Life. Aziraphale has been commanded to leave his "Eden" and will now be instrumental in causing the whole of creation to become infinite and holy, but Blake tells us this will be done by an improvement of sensual enjoyment, which arises from Energy not Reason.

Sensual enjoyment is something which is intrinsic to Aziraphale's character, and this could make his placement in Heaven very important.

Putting aside all the "final fifteen" theories and taking matters at face value, Aziraphale tells us that if he's in charge he can make a difference - he needs to subvert the system from the inside out. The most subversive thing of all could be that a sensualist who acts according to "the voice of moral indignation" and "Energy" has become the supreme Archangel. We have seen in Blake how a realisation that Energy could be virtuous was enough to convert an Angel into a Devil (incidentally, does the image of an Angel being consumed by fire and emerging as a Devil seem familiar at all...)

We may have seen the beginnings of this already. Gabriel and Beelzebub became open to Energy from such little things as visiting earth, spending time in one another's company, and their mutual enjoyment of a song, which has given them wants and desires beyond those dictated by Heaven and Hell. This is enough to make them wish to leave their roles behind.

It's possible that the same may happen with Muriel. They haven't yet imbibed food or drink, but they have shown an enjoyment of books, which are an earthly pleasure, and open the reader up to new ideas and ways of thinking.

Of course, this would lead to questions regarding the Metatron's statement that he has "ingested things", and whether this means he is acting from reason or energy. Of course the simplest explanation is that it is a manipulation tactic, and he is lying about having done so, but if true that statement has some interesting implications. However, this is now super-long and I'm out of juice, so will leave others to speculate. I may return to this in the future!

There we go, hope you enjoyed. I doubt this will reach nearly as many people as my first Blake post, but if a few find it of interest then my work is done!

[elfdyke]

RED EMOJI OC ASKS i know its 20 hours after u reblogged it but shhhhhh dont worry about it

roe 💔🥩🧣 !!

20 hours dont matter hehe I ALWAYS WANA TALK ABT THIS BITCH💖

under the cut bc im the yapper (terminal)

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND TBH.... maria 😭 OH ROE.... maria is roe's rebound after her and pewter break up, she's by no means just an innocent victim but roe is not kind to her and uses her and absolutely takes advantage of maria's obvious infatuation for her 💔 i fear its not even intentional either, not entirely, roe's just trying to keep her head above water, she'd grown so used to consistent reliable love and intimacy with pewter that having that stripped away from her is really life shattering. its definitely her lowest point imo.

id say she mainly only hurt maria emotionally, im sure she was physically rough with her too (they were in a gang together) but its moreso using her and toying with her emotions, esp when pewter comes back into the picture, at first anyways. roe's desperation to try and make pewter jealous and hurt the way roe hurt 💔 SIGH

roe doesn't even really see what shes doing at the time i think, its only after the fact that she's forced to grapple with hkw unhealthy and cruel she had been. after roe ditches her maria goes on to lead the gang in roe's absense, and she is a lot more violent and volatile than roe ever was. so i was thinking roe and pewter end up having to track her down to put an end to this, and roe really has such a terrible time reckoning with what she did, i fear 💔 finding bodies of victims of maria and roe trying to act unbothered but stumbling outside to throw up bc shes so horrified by it all...! UNFORTUNATE! while i think she'd initially try and excuse her own behavior and act like marias overreacting, roe definitely has matured at this point and part of her growth in that regard is seeing what she did here was wrong and owning up to it, seeking forgiveness and trying to fix what she'd done.

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

UNHEALTHY OF COURSE 😍 sex is her #1 go to coping mechanism, even though pewter kind of ruins this for her after making her realize she was just using sex to try and emulate the intimacy and affection she really longed for ..💖 bc pewter can give her both sex and love.. JAWDROP! but yeah she has quite an unhealthy relationship around sex, smth i love love love exploring with her. and also she does dabble in drinking to excess, of course ^_^ it being fantast medieval ages and all. but its nowhere near like dangerous addiction levels, she can just severely overdo it sometimes

oh but she actually Does develop a healthy coping mechanism later on 💖 keeping a journal and self reflecting with that ^_^ its at pewters suggestion and roe finds it silly and annoying at first but she takes to it really well after struggling through getting used to it <3 her little journal collection that she lets pewter read through. AND ONLY her. even though shes still embarrassed about it

🧣(scarf) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how any why does it comfort them?

s... s.... SEX AGAIN 😇 sorry ..! but mainly pewter tbh..... even if its not sex just being near her, pewter petting her, holding her, just being close to her is really so crazy comforting to roe. she likes laying across pewters lap while she reads and pets roes head 💖 running her fingers through her hair, rubbing her ears a little, brushing her knuckles across her cheek... WAH . roe's just a very physical person and so getting this kind of focused intimacy, where its clear how loved and trusted she is, does a lottttt for her. esp after the events in canon, roe really longs for pewters physicality

[andydrysdalerogers]

Troublemaker ~ Chapter Eight ~ Rude Awakening

He is one of the best goaltenders in the league. He's also hated by his teammates. He didn't mean to be a troublemaker but why not lean into it? There wasn't anyone to stop him.

Until he met her...

A Jeremy Swayman AU x OFC Stella Williams

Story Warnings: excessive drinking, SMUT!, an asshole Jeremy, angst

A/N: Hello and welcome to a spin-off "Cross-Checked" so plenty of characters from that story are crossing over here! If you want a more detailed story of how we ended up here, read the first store HERE Also! The taglist is open. If you want to be added or removed, please let me know!

Previous: On the Road

Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Banners by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Stella 

I woke up optimistic.  

I woke up with an ache in my chest.  

But not pain. No, it wasn’t pain.  

It is love.  

Because I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with Jeremy Swayman.  

It sucked that Smith got hurt the way he did because I had to come home with him to make sure he didn’t aggravate the injury more.  We chatted on the car ride home and Smith was so disappointed to be missing the beginning of the playoffs. I did, however, get to sleep in my bed, which was nice.  My phone dinged and reached for it.  

Jeremy: Good Morning beautiful. I miss you.  

I am not ashamed to say that I squealed like a teenaged girl and held the phone to my chest.  

Stella: Good Morning, handsome. I miss you too.   Jeremy: I’ve got morning skate but we’ll talk later ok?  Stella: ok. Have a good practice 

It took everything not to say “I love you” in that text.  Its something I think we need to do in the privacy of our bedroom.  It would change everything. It would mean coming out and telling the world that Jeremy and I are together. My heart sings at the thought.  

I get a run in first thing and make my way to “The Addicted” for a couple of coffees and cinnamon rolls for me and Leia. I want to visit with the baby while I have time because come playoffs, we would be on the road a lot.  As I wait in line, my social media starts to go off.  I have alerts set for the Bruins in case anyone had spotted Jeremy and I.  I open the app and my heart sinks. 

SWAYMAN BACK TO HIS PARTY WAYS. SPOTTED AT BAR WITH A NEW LADY 

With the headline comes a couple of pictures. Jeremy holding onto a tiny looking blonde. Her sidling up to him, her hand on his chest.  

My heart shatters.  

He was texting me while with another woman. He texted me several times last night and today. I rushed out of the coffee shop and got to my car.  My phone started to ring and I see its Jeremy calling.  I rejected the call and blocked his number. I didn’t want to hear his excuses. He did the same thing to Leia and I refuse to give him the chance.  

I drive but I don’t pay attention to where I am going. My eyes are blurry and my head hurts. I look up and see that I’m at Leia and Andy’s house. I wipe my face and compose myself a little. I get up to the door and ring the bell.  Leia comes to the door. “Stel?” 

“I need to hide out here for a while, please,” I pleaded, feeling the fat tears now rolling uncontrollably down my face. So much for trying to stay composed.  

She pulls me into her arms and I cling to her.“Of course, sweetie. What’s going on?” 

I sniffle as try to get words out.“Have you seen the headlines about the Bruins?” 

“Uh, no.” She picks up the phone and scrolls through her media apps.  As social media director, she’s more in turn with all the Bruins new. However, she just had Avery like seven weeks ago so she’s not back to work yet. He face scrunches as she reads. “What the... I don’t understand.  I thought he was cleaning up his act and doing a damn good job at it.”  

“Yeah, he was.” I sniffed again and wiped at my nose.  “Because we had been taking care of each other.”  I looked at my lap. I had never lied like this to Leia.  She has been my best friend for years, since freshman year in high school.  We knew everything about each other. I knew about her crush on Andy and how heart broken she was she he started to date Fiona. I was there when her dad died, and when her mom checked out on her and Luke.  

I knew about the feelings she was starting to have for Jeremy. When she found out about the baby and the fallout of Jeremy’s actions.  

I’m the worst friend because I fell for her ex. Her voice brings me back to the present.  “You and Jeremy? You were, what?” 

“We were in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.” I looked up at her with sorrow and she looked surprised. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but he was there when I broke up with Kevin and then it was supposed to be one night. But we didn’t stop, and it was great. I thought we were getting serious but then this and...” I break down and I start sobbing. Leia just wraps her arms around me a cradles me.  

“It's going to be ok, Stel. You can stay here as long as you like.  I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation and when you are ready, we’ll get the truth.” 

I don’t know if I ever want to hear it.  

Because I am in love with Jeremy Swayman, and he just broke my heart.  

Kiley

I’m actually really proud of myself.  

I mean, the pictures looked great. Not blurry at all, for a camera phone. I read the article again and again, checking back to see how much more viral it went. I know Jeremy didn’t go home with anyone I watch the team walk back to the hotel. But I wasn’t going to let the Stella find happiness. Especially after what she did to me.  

Flashback – four months prior... 

“Stella, it was a mistake!” Kevin held the pillow in front of his junk as I covered myself with a sheet.  I was just caught with my boss’s boyfriend in his bed. Stella Williams used to be my hero.  She had a hot-as-fuck boyfriend, a fabulous job with the Bruins and was generally loved by everyone. I was jealous and I wanted something that was hers.  

Kevin was an easy target. He was a lawyer so he wasn’t a part of the Bruins. Which made him easier to seduce when Stella was on the road with the team.  We had hooked up a few times but he didn’t know I worked with his girlfriend.  

Until today.  

“A mistake? Sleeping with my team member is a mistake?” Stella yelled at him, red painting her face.  

“Team member?” He looked at me with anger.  “She never told me she worked with you. Baby, i swear, it was a one-time thing!” 

“More like three times, but who’s counting.” I shrugged.  Stella walked out right then and then Kevin kicked me out and told me to lose his number.  

When I got to work the next day, Jeremy was coming off the ice in a huff. God, he is gorgeous. Tall, dark and the most handsome guy I had ever seen.  I’ve flirted with him a few times and he always gave me a smile and a wink.  I went to say hi but the look on his face told me something was wrong.  I watched Andy Barber, Linus Ullmark and the head coach follow him and I decided to stay away. For now.  

I got ready for the day when I hear, “Kiley my office.” Fuck I knew this was coming. Stella sat at her desk when I entered. “Close the door.” I close it and see points her eyes to the chair. I don’t say anything. I’d be stupid to speak to my boss I just burned. “I really wish I could fire you. But firing you for fucking my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend would cause a lot of problems. So here’s what I’m going to. You are a scrub from now on. A rookie. Whatever needs to get done you do it. I don’t give a fuck if it’s not in your job description. Feel lucky that I don’t beat your ass.”  

“You can’t do that!” I screeched. “I have seniority.” 

She stood up. “Watch me.”  

So, for months, I have been relegated to helping with watch the physical therapy tables and monitoring ice packs. I was fucking pissed. I knew I needed to get something on Stella to ruin her.  

Imagine my surprise a couple of months later to come back in during a home game after Jeremy got hurt and saw something that enraged me.  

Stella was bent over Jeremy on the gurney, stroking his face and then leaning over to kiss him. I think they thought no one would see them. He grasped her hand with a smile before he was loaded in. I screamed inside my head.  This bitch gets everything! 

I took every opportunity I could find to try and drive a wedge between them but Jeremy was dedicated and Stella never showed him affection at work again.  So I began stalking her.  I needed to find a way to break them apart. He is mine. I had dibs and I wasn’t going to allow this hussy take away what was mine.  

Getting Smith to take an injury on the promise of a good night was super easy. Whispering that Stella should go with him back just in case was a little bit harder, but the team physician agreed. I got all dolled up and went with the team to the bar after the win in New York. Jeremy wasn’t drinking but Stevens and Barber managed to get him to drink a couple. Shame that men don’t protect their drinks like women do.  I slipped just a tiny bit of something to get him loose.  

I didn’t plan on the captain to take care of him.  

I also didn’t plan on some puck bunny to try to obviously hit on him. But I was delighted to get “proof” of his old playboy ways.  

Making friends with a reporter at the Globe also helped.  

Now I just need a chance to get to Jeremy. I know he won’t resist this body.  

Fuck you, Stella Williams.  Jeremy is mine now.  

Jeremy 

Man, did my head hurt. This is why I barely drank anymore. The recovery is brutal. Luck for me it was a late travel day so I was able to sleep in.  A knock at the door got me up (slowly.) “Hey Linus.”  

“Jer, you look like shit,” he chuckles as he handed me a coffee.  

“And a fucking good morning to you too.” I clutched my temple while sipping the liquid gold in my hand. I grabbed my phone to send a text to Stella. 

Jeremy: Good Morning, Beautiful. I miss you. 

I didn’t even have to wait that long.  

Stella: Good Morning, Handsome. I miss you too  Jeremy: I’ve got morning skate but we’ll talk later ok?  Stella: ok. Have a good practice 

Damn if that didn't make me feel good. I know I was smiling at my phone but I literally gave zero fucks about it.  This is the girl I am in love with and I wouldn’t be embarrassed with how she made me feel.  

“Texting the girlfriend?" Linus asked, a shit eating grin on his face.  

“Yep,” popping that P at the end.  

“Who is she? Do I know her?” 

I hesitated for a second, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “You have to swear you won’t tell anyone if I tell you.”  

“Yeah, I’m going to tell Moa,” he replied.  “I don’t keep secrets from my wife.”  

I groan because I know this. But Moa is a vault when needed to be, so I sighed.  “Fine.” I sucked in a breath. “Its Stella.”  

He looked at me confused. “Stella? Stella who?” 

“How many Stellas do you know. Stella. Williams. Our personal trainer.” Linus stopped mid-sip. He put the cup down and stared at me. “What?” 

“You are in love with Leia’s best friend?” 

“Ok, when you say it like that, it sounds bad.” I launched into the story. “When I got benched, I went to an off the beaten path bar and ran into Stella. We drank and talked. We made a drunken decision to have one night. Except it wasn’t just one night. She's been there for me man. She helped me repair my friendship with Leia and she helped me see what I was doing to myself.”  

I swallowed before I kept going. “She was there after my concussion, making sure that I took it easy and eat the right foods. I hold her and I feel completely at ease with my life. She’s it, Linus.  She’s it for me. I want to tell her that I love her so much that it hurts every minute I can’t. Because she’s not there yet.”  

He just keeps looking at me and I start to get uncomfortable.  “Say something man.”  

“I’m just in shock that the troublemaker has been tamed.” He gives me a genuine smile. “You love her?” 

“With everything I have.”  

He reaches out and hugs me. I sigh in relief because its my mission in life to make Linus proud of me. He’s been my partner, my best friend and my brother in this crazy journey. I’m not sure what I would do without him.  

We get our shit together to get to breakfast, joking and laughing as we sit with my other teammates. Its been a great morning.  

Until the phones start chirping.  

I look at my own and I can feel the blood drain from my face.  

SWAYMAN BACK TO HIS PARTY WAYS. SPOTTED AT BAR WITH A NEW LADY 

“What the fuck,” I hear from Linus beside me. I look at the pictures and it's that bunny that I tripped over. But the article says I was spotted taking her back to the hotel.  

“No, no, NO!” I yell out as I try to dial Stella.  Her phone rings and rings before going to voicemail.  “Fuck, no!” I try again but now its straight to voicemail. I try again and now it's telling me that the customer is unavailable.  

“Swayman!” I hear Coach bark. I stand up and walk over to him. “Let’s talk.”  

“Sir, please, I’m trying to reach my girlfriend and...” 

His jaw sets. “Fine. No point in pussyfooting it.  You’re benched, effective immediately.”  

My heart sinks. “What? Why?” 

“These pictures show you out of control again. I warned you that if you did it again, you would be benched.”  

“Sir, I promise, I was never out of control.  I even talked to Linus and Andy and Luke and they made sure I was ok. Please, don’t do this.”  

Coach’s face turns sympathetic. “I’m sorry Jeremy, but this is coming from management.  This isn’t a good look for the team. They are going to investigate further about keeping you with the team.”  

I bend over and clutch my knees.  This isn’t happening.  This cannot be happening. “Sir,” as I stand up straight, “please.” 

“Car will be taking you to the airport in half an hour. Don’t worry about your gear; the equipment managers will handle all of that. I’m sorry son.”  He walks away from me. Before I can get the feeling in my legs back, I feel myself start to fall.  Linus grabs me along with Andy. “Jer?” 

“They are sending me home.  I’m not allowed to go to Pittsburgh.” They sit me down and I try to call Stella again. Nothing. I look at Linus. “She blocked me.” I’m desperately trying to hold in the tears. I don’t say a word and just head back to my room to get my bag.  And then I realize that Coach is sending me home.  I race out of the room and down to the car.  

The hour long flight to Boston is excruciating. I need to get to her.  I need to tell her that the photos are a lie. Once I’m in the car, I keep trying her until I get to her apartment.  I bang on the door but there is no answer. I don’t even hear anything on. Fuck! I slam my head against the door. I sink to the floor and sit for what feels like days but is just a couple of hours. I must find a way to talk to her but it's getting late. I get up and as I turned to leave, there she is, standing at the end of the hall.  “Stella,” I breathed.  

“Go away.” She kept her head down as she passed me.  

“Baby, please, let me explain.”  

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Swayman.” I opens the door and tries to slam it shut but I stop it. “Let go of the door.” 

“Not until you give me a chance to tell you what happened. I swear, I didn’t do anything that article said.” 

I can see the pain in her eyes, the hurt these photos are causing her. “I don’t care. You said we were exclusive.  that it was just you and me.”  

“We were. We are. The photos...” 

“Are the truth that I kept telling myself was in the past.  That the playboy hot shot goalie wasn’t like that anymore.  That maybe we could have a future together.”  

“We can, baby, I want that.”  

“And yet you can’t keep your hands off another woman.” I watch as the tear falls. “I think maybe we should end this.” I shake my head, but she keeps talking. “Maybe this is a sign that we were not meant for more.”  

“No, Stella, that’s not true.  I lo...” 

“Don’t say it. Don’t, just, leave, please.”  I hear the heartache and determination in her voice.  

“Please Stella. I can’t do this without you.”  

She looks me right in the eye. “I’m sorry Jeremy.  Goodbye.”  The door closes in my face.  

And my heart shatters.  

NEXT

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[divinegarbage]

To anyone who happens to follow me, please excuse the excessive Hunger Games posts and reblogs.

For some unfathomable reason I'm just now reading the series due to the new movie, and now I'm suffering from chronic brain rot.

But when do I not?