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gegewrites · 2 months

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Harvey (SDV)- One Glass Was all it Took (SMUT)

Hi, just dropping off this fanfic for you. Eat it up. hope yall enjoy I started this legit at 10am TODAY. This is the fastest I’ve written in a bit and the first fic I’ve finished in months (I’m so sorry)

The Harvey brain rot is real.

4-7-24

5.2k words

Your pov-

The sun was setting and I was relaxing on the porch swing, looking at the sky changing colors. It was a relaxing day, it rained in the morning, which made it easy to pet and collect from the animals, but annoying to harvest the crops that were ready. It stopping raining at about four, and by then I was already done for the day. I contemplated going fishing or heading to the mines for a few hours to make up some of that wasted time but I ended up just cleaning and re-arranging some of the house. The birds were singing, still warm out but a cool breeze drifted through the trees. It was perfect out.

"Enjoying the sunset?" I heard Harvey ask, I looked over and he was by the produce bin. I wasn't expecting him at all.

"Yeah, so pretty tonight." I smiled. He didn't come up into the porch, he leaned against the railing in front of me, a bottle of wine in hand being held out to me.

"I had to go to Zuzu City today, I picked this up on my way out. Think you'll enjoy it." He smiled as I leaned off the swing and grabbed it from him.

"This is my job." I giggled. It's a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, the label boasting a 10 year age and top quality French grapes.

"Just a little bit of payback for all the stuff you've brought me." He smiled,"I-"

"Should I get glasses?" I asked,"you don't have to leave so soon do you?"

"I can stay for a bit." He leaned off the railing as I stood up.

"Perfect, come in."

Half and hour later-

"…Just a bunch of city and small town doctors and donors looking to shell out money. If I was convincing enough hopefully a few donors will step up and donate some money to the clinic.” He took a sip from his glass and looked at me,” It's a decent drive to the city, i don’t mind it. I use to intern at the Zuzu hospital, but when I heard they didn't have a doctor in this town, that the other towns also driving to the city for healthcare, I settled in." His eyes looked away from the now dusky blue sky and looked at him, which were watching him intently," why are you here? Besides your grandfathers passing, I don’t think you’ve told me.”

"I wasn't doing so well back home...so when we did get the news grandpa died my parents saw it as a way for me to get a new fresh start...and it worked, but boring I'll be honest. Three years, everyday almost the same." I shrugged my shoulders and finished the last of my glass. We both were only on the first glass, talking more than drinking.

"I get that. In a town so small it's easy to fall into a repetition...only reason why I've kept my car. I could sell it, put that money into the clinic, but when people in the outside towns needs assistance and they can't get here I get to switch it up and go to them." He looked down at his glass and then back to me,"it's important to find joy in daily life, especially when you're life is a lot of physical work....its also important to find the time to relax."

"Yeah, but there's always something that has to get done over here or someone needs something." His hand came down and sat just above my knee.

"You need to start making time for yourself." His face was serious, but not scolding. His brows lightly furrowed together, but his eyes held a caring look.

"Doctors orders?" I smiled, a chuckle trailing behind the words and I felt my cheeks flush. Luckily it was darker out but the porch light was still on.

"Doctors orders." He smiled, his eye contact was held with mine. He did look like he was contemplating something, his eyes slightly looking down below mine before locking back with mine.

Usually it would take me a third glass to get the confidence to make any sort of move, but over the few years I've been here, the conversations we've had, professional settings and non professional, it gave me the confidence.

The swing wasn't big, our legs were comfortably touching, and his hand still sat on my leg. I pushed up just a bit, my lips connecting to his, my heart was pounding out of my chest, but he returned it quickly, the hand on my thigh came to my check and my heart rate relaxed a bit. His mustache tickled my nose but I didn't mind it at all. We both tasted like wine and I heard his glass tink against the table in his side, his newly free hand softly held my other cheek, mine still holding my glass. He was the first to pull away from the slow kiss.

"(y/n)..." he whispered before pulling back more and my heart sped up, awaiting rejection,"are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything, Harvey." I replied quickly but not forcefully, he took the glass from my hand and placed it with his on the table behind him.

I could tell he was thinking, quickly contemplating the decisions he could make. He turned back to me, pushing his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose.

"I'm a thirty four year old doctor stuck in place." His thumb brushed my cheek as he spoke.

"And im a twenty five year old who couldn't hold down a job long enough to have a chance to be stable." I confessed,"my last relationship ended with cops and a restraining order."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But (y/n), you said you're bored, you're bored here... I watch the history channel and live quietly."

"You don't get it, Harv. I'm bored cause I'm alone, everyday I wake up and it's just me, you're stuck in place cause it's just you. Don't humans need others around? We are social animals." He let out a quiet and sharp exhale from him nose, hand still in my cheek that didn't even realize I've relaxed into.

"There are others-"

"Please Harvey, I've already tried, they've all got their own dreams in places I've already tried to live and couldn't....i want quiet but I don't wanna be alone." His hand slid away from my cheek, just to hold onto my chin,"there's no reason to not try."

"You have to understand that I'm still your doctor and if it doesn't work-"

"If it doesn't work my ass Harvey." I grabbed lightly onto his other wrist,"I've never been more sure of anything.."I leaned forwards,"and you haven't been only charging me half for no reason, don't think I haven't noticed. You can say you're not the right one but it's obvious Harv-"

He cut me off with his lips, his hand coming to my waste, pulling my body a bit closer to his. I kissed him back quickly not wasting any time, my body was twisted a bit, my hands held onto his jacket covered shoulders. Our lips moved in sync, tongues tangling with each other, heat and want radiating from the both of us.

My hand grabbed onto his tie as I slid off the swing and stood up, our lips didn't disconnect, his big hands sat on my waist as he sat up higher before standing. He was taller than me, so he was bowed down to keep the kiss going and my back pressed against the railing of the porch. He pulled away, and stood up straight, looking down at me. His hand left my waist and he pushed his glasses back up. God he was handsome.

I decided to ditch the glasses that were on the table and lead him inside by his tie.

When we got to my bedroom he took off his jacket and I loosened his tie before I started undoing his belt while he kicked off his shoes. His hands coming to the bottom of my shirt, slipping it off of my body, dropping it to the floor as he walked me back, the back of my legs feeling the mattress and he unclipped my bra. My thighs pressed together a bit, feeling that pulse between my legs and myself getting wetter. He slid it down my arms and I sat down, his hands running down my body as he slowly got down onto his knees.

"This bruise is concerning." He ran his thumb on the right side of my ribs and I rolled my eyes.

"I can't even feel it Harv." I rolled my eyes with a smile and cupped his cheek, his cheek and jaw was a bit tickly. He placed a kiss to the top of my chest, kissing my collarbones and then down between my breasts,"if you want to know it's from my goat getting too excited and accidentally butting me."

"I'm glad.." his hand cupped my breast, fingers massaging it, my nipple pressed into his palm as he placed a kiss on my other. My hand sat on the back of his neck, my nails lightly scratching his scalp, his shaggy hair between my fingers," it's nothing serious…but goats are pretty strong,” he looked up at me,”could’ve broken a rib.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as his lips returned to my breast. I propped up on my left arm, his tongue swirled around my nipple, teeth teasing it lightly and I grinded down to on the mattress from the pressure of need building up inside of me. While he places kisses to my breasts his hands came down and undid the button of my jeans, and unzipped them. He pushed up slightly placing a kiss on my sternum and I laid back on my forearm. He hooked his fingers into my jeans, I raised my hips a bit and he pulled them down slowly, my panties going with them. His eyes locked with mine, until the fabric fell to the floor, and now I was naked with him between my legs.

Both of us paused. Suddenly I wish I had drank another glass. His eyes trailed down my body, taking it in.

“Harvey?” I asked, and he looked up at me, his look alone told me I was the one feeling off.

“Sorry…taking it in now.” He pushed my thighs out, spreading my legs wider, and he grew taller, kneeling only on one knee now,”once these glasses come off I can’t exactly see you the best.”

I felt my face blush as his hand ran along the inside of my thigh, and my pussy tighten from his touch. It’s been awhile, a good four years since I’ve been with something other than a vibrator. I felt his thumb slide up my lips, feeling how wet I’ve gotten, then his thumb slipped between and immediately found my clit. My lips parted the moment his thumb pad touched my clit, he slowly and softly dragged his thumb in a circle against it and my head lulled back a bit and I let out a sigh. He trailed a few kisses on the inside of my thigh, mustache tickling and dragging against my skin. His thumb worked a bit faster and my thighs quivered a few times.

“Harvey please.” I pushed out with a breath and I heard him hum lightly. His thumb left my clit and I felt his middle finger circle my wet hole before dipping in causing a moan to rumble in my throat as I bit my lip. His fingers were nice, he had nice hands at that. His fingers were long kind of thick, but nimble none the less. He curled his finger to the curve of my walls as he slowly dragged it in and out. I didn’t realize where he was till I felt the left side of the bed dip a bit.

“Absolutely soaked.” He whispered into my ear and a shiver ran down my spine and I tightened around his finger,”you haven’t had anything in a while, huh?”

“Too busy..mm, too tired at the end of the day.” I answered, feeling him kiss my neck, his stubble scratching lightly at my skin.

He kissed my shoulder with a hum, his middle finger leaving me, but coming back with his ring finger in tow. His fingers slipped right back in, my head couldn’t help my fall back, the front of my neck completely bared to him. He curled his fingers to my anatomy again and he sped up the slightest. I could feel how wet I was, it was almost embarrassing, but come on…it’s Harvey.

My hips rolled into his palm and his fingers found my gspot, I bit down onto my lips, my eyes fell close.

“Right theere.” I moaned, and he changed his fingers positions, a deeper curl. I heard something light fall onto the bed and my eyes opened the littlest. I saw his glasses. I raised my head, timing perfectly with him lifting my left leg onto his shoulder. His stubble rubbing against the inside of my thigh, before feeling his tongue against my clit, he kept a steady pace and motion with his fingers. His tongue slowly lapped at my clit,my hand finding the top of his hair, not tugging but sitting in it, holding it out of his face. I was breathing heavy, breathy moans just slipping out. His lips latched on to clit, a mix of licking and sucking, making my body tense and my moans grow louder.

“Oh God.” I moaned out, my heel digging into his back just below his shoulder blade,”Fuuuck Harv.”

He pushed up onto the bed, his left arm wrapped around the front of my thigh, holding the inside of it with his hand and he pumped his fingers deeper and faster. I heard a groan erupt from him as his tongue dipped in with his fingers before sliding back to my clit, giving it a harsh suck. My hands gripped into his hair, my body pushing into his. My head felt light, my thigh tensing in his grip, being held open to avoid squeezing his head. The way he was circling, sucking, and licking my clit roughly paired with his fingers “come hither” and just how deep his fingers were inside of me I was on the verge of cumming. I could feel my slick dripping down my ass, definitely soaked in the comforter, my walls tightened around his fingers. My moans were more present, louder, and longer. My body felt like it was on fire in the best way possible.

“I’m gonna cum Harv.” I whined out, releasing his hair for a second before griping back on. My thighs started twitching and the upper half of my body curling forwards yet my head lulling back,”I’m gon-gonna cum baby.”

He didn’t change was he was doing, and my toes curled, my eyes rolling back, my teeth digging into my bottom lip as my body tightened. that knot in my abdomen snapping, cumming on his fingers. We kept his pace steady as I rode out my release, only slowing down when I started whimpering and hips near spasming into his face.

I fell onto my back, as his fingers slid out of my pussy, his tongue lapping up my release. His hand left the inside of my thigh, and I heard his glasses drag towards him, before wrapping around it again. He placed a kiss to the inside of my thigh, his mustache wet. I was catching my breath, coming back to reality when my thigh dropped from his shoulder and I felt his thumb swipe across my bottom lip. I opened them and his finger laid on my tongue, I closed my lips around them, cleaning my cum off of them.

I opened my eyes when he slid his fingers out of my mouth. He was standing in front of the bed, looking down at my pussy, the bulge in his dark brown corduroys prominent. I sat up, and pulled him to me by his tie, kissing him heatedly, tasting myself on his tongue. My fingers started undoing the buttons of his shirt, tugging it out of jeans and pulling away from him, a light bite dragging his lip before letting go. His lips were pink, so was his face. He undid his tie enough to get it off over his head and took off his long sleeve as I placed kisses down his stomach, slowly unzipping his pants.

He wasn’t a “fit” man, he had a dad bod but no kids(not yet), but he was attractive and sexy as hell nonetheless. He brushed the hair out of my face as I kissed down his happy trail. I slid down to my knees and he took a step back. I looked up at him through my lashes as I hooked my fingers into the waist on his pants and boxer band, and slid them down. His cock sprung out and I stopped pulling down his pants. He was decent size, long enough to where he wouldn’t be able to get all of it in but most, but he was thick. It made sense for a man as meaty as he is.

I kissed up his thigh, which had impeccable grinding quality. His fingers carded through my hair, my hands sat on his hips as I kissed up his body till I was standing, a bit wobbly, but his hand came around to my back.

“I wanna ride you.” I kissed his chest and he chuckled, his hand sat on the side of my neck and lower part of my jaw, his thumb brushed over my jaw, before he angled my face to look up at him.

“You can, but you have to go easy.” I gave him a pouty furrowed brow look and he smirked with fondness,”you haven’t had sex in awhile. Feeling how tight you were-and just with fingers, you have to take it easy.”

“You saying I’m too small for your cock, Doctor?” I whispered intimately and I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tippy toes, my chest pressing into his, his cock pressed against the front of my thigh. His face flushed even more as his hands held onto my waist. My hand came around to the back of his head and I pulled his head closer to mine and I whispered,”guess it’s a good thing I’m absolutely soaked for you.”

He let out a breath I don’t think he realized he was holding in and I lowered down onto my soles. He hasn’t gotten a moment to speak, this pussy has his tongue caught. My fingers dragging against his skin as I backed up and crawled onto the bed. I propped up onto my arms, facing him, and spread my legs open, my heels stable on the edge of the bed.

“Do you wanna be the one to stretch this pussy then?” It looked like his brain stopped working for a second, before has hand gripped onto his cock, his tongue quickly swiping along the bottom of his top lip and he smirked lightly, more adoration then the lust his eyes held.

“I probably shouldn’t, no condoms.” He crossed his arms, oh he looked good.

“What did you go into the city and fuck a stripper?” I joked and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“We’re unprotected.” His hands moved to his waist and I looked at him with a dumbfounded look.

“Harvey…you’re the dude who gives me my birth control every month.” He rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses.

“I’m aware of that, It’s still unsafe nonetheless.” His hands sat on my knees before grabbing the back of my calves.

“Live a little, just for tonight.” His grip tightened on my calves and he looked to the side and then back to me before pulling me edge of the bed, I fell onto my back as he held my calfs on his waist, his cock sitting right over my soaking cunt. His head tapping against it as it bounced lightly.

“For tonight.” His hand let go of my calf and I held it against his waist. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and his caressed my cheek, him thumb brushed against the cheek bone. He used that same hand to drag the head of his cock between my slick lips, running it against my clit, then rubbing his tip against my needy hole, he watched his cock slide between my lips before he looked up at me.

“Need a pillow.” I quickly grabbed the fluffiest one from behind me and handed it to him. I tightens my legs around him but he peeled them off,”where’s your bathroom?”

“Why?” I asked sitting up.

“Just need a towel.” I just fell in love with him. Luckily there was a bathroom in my bedroom so I pointed to the door and he walked over. Man has a nice ass, he is just good looking in general.

He came back with one of my thick towels, dark grey. He folded it into two and put it over the towel. I laid back down, holding my knees close to my chest and he grabbed my calf’s, spreading my legs and placing my lower half onto the pillow.

“That’s better.” His hands guided my legs around his waist, spitting into his palm and stroking his cock. I swallowed and bit down onto my lower lip as he stroked his cock through my lips. He was right, this angle felt better. His tip circled my entrance and he looked at me,”you ready?”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded and he paused for a moment before he started pushing the tip in. I immediately gripped onto the mattress below me my eyes squeezing shut, he was so right. He always right.

“I think I-“ he stopped pushing in mid tip.

“No no, just keep going…Fuck Harv.”

“Just tell me if it hurts, I’ll go easy.” He started pushing it in again. My walls stretching around him yet clamping down on him. It was a mix of absolute pleasure and pain. A deep throaty grain erupted out of his chest, I opened my eyes to see his head tilted back before coming back to look down at his cock stretching into me. I when he bottomed he pressed deeper into me and pushed out a shakey moan from my lips.

He stopped for a moment, giving my body a chance to relax around him, his hand ran up and down my thigh comfortingly as I breathed in and out, my brows twisted together.

“Move, please” I said softly and he did just that, he slowly slid his cock out of me, even his tip, and slid it back inside. Another moan left my left, my lips stayed open as he pushed in deeper this time, pulling out to his tip and pushing back in. He kept it slow and steady, listening to the whines and groans that fell from my lips.

“Shit (y/n).” He groaned out, I felt his thumb press against my clit, rubbing tight and slow circle against it, my legs tightening around his waist. He moved his hips a bit faster, his cock dragging against my walls. His thumb abandoned my clit, and his hands grabbed onto my hips, holding them tightly, fingertips pressing deeply into my ass.

“Fuck me Harvey.” I breathed out.

“How do you want it, darling?” I pressed my lips together and a small giggle sounded in my throat from the pet name that fell from his lips, I felt my body curl a bit as his hand touched my check. His tone was as smooth as whiskey dripping with lust,”tell me how you want me to fuck you.”

“Faster…” I swallowed and took a breath, my voice a bit shakey,”and deeper.”

His movements did become a bit faster, still focused on not hurting me, but he did pressed his cock deeper into me on each thrust.

“Good good.” My lips fell open as he started thrusting harder, his tip starting to hit that spot in me,”oooh yess.”

“found it?”

“Uuhuh.” I moaned, and he thrusted his tip against it again, but harder, to confirm and it was confirmed with an unsolicited moan.

“You’re taking me so well, (y/n). So daaamn good.” He groaned, his thrusts stayed sharp and even but he sped up more, rocking his hips into my pelvis. I tightened around him getting lost in the feeling of his tip sliding through my walls, the sound of his skin now slapping against mine, and the way groans and light moans fell from his lips. My heels dug into his back and his name trailed out of my lips. I felt my slick drip down my ass and into the towel, hearing how wet his motions sound now. I felt his body lean forwards, his thrusts kept steady, but slowed down a bit, fucking deeply into me, his cock grinding perfectly against my g-spot now.

“Oooh! Har-Harvey!” I loudly moaned out, it didn’t hurt, well a little bit, but it felt too good to complain. He was tall so his forearms laid flat on the bed trapping my head. He placed a kiss on my forehead, my hands wrapping around his back and gripping onto his shoulders. I couldn’t help but moan Into his ear, erotic moans falling from my lips as my pussy got wetter.

“Such a good girl. Taking my cock like this.” He strained out, my nails were digging into his skin as he sped up more. My eyes clamped shut, sob like moans ripping out of my throat, that heat building up in my lower abdomen telling me I was the verge of spilling over.

“Ha-Harvey,” I breathed out, my words whined ,”I’m gon-I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum on my cock, darling.” He groaned into my ear. His breath was hot against my skin, and the erotic groans falling from his lips were a perfect music to my ears. My left hand slid off his back, and I felt his weight shift, and I peeled my eyes open. He didn’t have his glasses on, and he was propped up on left arm, his right hand went back to my pussy, his hand pressed down on my pelvis, his thumb rubbing my clit quickly.

“Harvey! Aaaah fuuuuck!” My back arched up and a moan tore out of me, as my orgasm ripped through me. I saw starbursts behind my closed eyes, a rush of heat covering my whole body as it tensed up. My walls clamped around him as my right hands nails scraping against his back and he let out a strained groan.

“That’s it…That’s it.” He cooed, and I felt

His cock twitch inside of me as he fucked me through my high.

He kept his pace as steady as he could, going back to standing, his thumb abandoned my clit. I looked at him with heavy lids, watching his face,his glasses were back on, his lips were parted and his eyes watched his cock thrust in and out of me , and how his hands gripped onto my thighs.

“Come on Harv.” My tone tripped with ecstasy, as I propped up on my arms a bit to watch him and his body better, his eyes met mine, half lidded, before looking down, watching the way my chest moved from his thrusts,”cum for me Harvey.”

I felt his cock twitch more inside of me, his thrust still felt good and I couldn’t help but moan.

“Fuck.” He groaned out, his neck straining, his body tightening, and I bit my lip at the sight of him on the verge of coming undone, but there was something holding him back, himself really.

“You-you can cum inside of me Harv..” I breathed out and swallowed and he locked his eyes with mine,”you can cum wherever.”

I relaxed my legs grip on his waist, and with those words he finally came undone. He slid out of me quickly, his hand stroking his cock roughly, spirting white cum onto my stomach. His head lulled back as he stroked his cock, slowing it down that last bit dripped down the bottom of his head and onto my stomach.

He breathed heavily as my legs fell from his waist and he sat down in the edge of the bed and fell into his back next to me. I closed my legs and r looked up and over at him, hand on his chest, catching his breath. I kissed his shoulder and he looked over at me, a blissed out look on his face and I smiled.

“You got game Harv.” I giggled and looked down at my stomach, and he sat up.

“I’ll get you cleaned up.” He leaned to me and placed a kiss on my lips before standing up, and proceeded to do just that.

The next day, noon

Harvey slept over last night, but when I woke up at six he was already gone, there was a note on the kitchen table in his hand writing that advised me to hydrate and thanking me for the good night. The wine glasses that were left outside were clean and on the drying rack as well. I had already gotten what I had to get done outside done, but it was another rainy day, absolutely down pouring. I had to change my clothes even though I had on my rain jacket, so I decided today would be a day that I would take to myself.

I was laying in the couch reading, some cable show playing on the tv. My reading was interrupted by a knock on the door, so I placed my marker in the book and got up quickly and headed to the door. I unlocked it and opened it.

“Hi.” Harvey smiled, one hand held a soaked umbrella, his other was behind his back.

“That umbrella didn’t do you too well.” I giggled, seeing the rain spots on his button up, he looked at his shirt and chuckled.

“I guess not, at least I’m not soaked though…I’m sorry I walked out early, there was a shipment coming to the clinic at six thirty I had to be there for.” He explained.

“That’s alright, thanks for cleaning the glasses.” I wasn’t in front of the doorway he could walk in but he hasn’t,”what do you need Harv?”

“I…I wanted to give you this.” The hand that was behind his back came out and revealed a gorgeous bouquet. My lips fell over in shock and soon those like formed the biggest smile. My cheeks flushed as I took it from him, I looked at it for a few seconds before looking back at him,”you’re right…maybe this could work.”

#gegewrites #fanfiction #smut writer #stardew valley #sdv harvey #stardew harvey #Harvey sdv smut #harvey sdv x reader #sdv smut #sdv fanfic #stardew valley smut #stardew valley Harvey #smut

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moonchildstyles · 11 months

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lovage

rosemary part four: the past finally caught up with harry and now y/n might have to pay for it.

wordcount: 16k+

—————

It was quiet.

There was no sound above the engine humming and the tires spinning way too fast over the asphalt.

No music.

No talking.

The only noticeable sound was Harry's heart beating in his ears. He just hoped only he could hear that.

(Y/N) hadn't said a word since they pulled away from her home. Harry hadn't pushed her, instead focusing on getting them away from that town as fast as possible, before anyone could have a chance to notice anything out of the ordinary. The fastest route out of there landed them on the highway within thirty minutes, the black pavement stretched out for miles.

Now forty-five minutes out on the highway and the time barely ticking after three a.m., they were one of the few out on the road. Everything was almost eerily quiet after the kind of panic that had been ignited in him just an hour prior. This was why Harry liked making a getaway before the rest of the world woke. He could make note of every car he saw, every marker on the side of the road, and every deserted rest stop when the rest of the world was quiet.

Coasting past every sign and darkened gas station, the next nearest city was another one hundred and thirty-four miles away—at least according to a sun-bleached sign, anyway. Harry made a point to focus his efforts in creating a rhythm so he wouldn't miss a single detail around him. He checked the road ahead of him first, noting the signs and anything that could be an opportunity to slip them further away to somewhere no one would look for them. He then scanned over every exit and shoulder, trying to spot any car lingering in the dark, anyone waiting in the wings to possibly sweep behind them and give chase. Every car he came across was examined as quickly as he could manage without drifting through lanes, Harry noting the driver and anything that may have looked familiar to him in a previous life. His mirrors were his lifeline to ensure he didn't miss anything that popped up behind him. The pattern would then repeat, every detail fixing itself into his brain.

It was a strategic system, one of the few defenses he could manage outside of just going fast and getting away as quickly as he could. It also ensured he wouldn't look at (Y/N).

While he wanted to believe that she was asleep since she hadn't said a word or tried to pry any kind of explanation out of him, Harry knew better. Once in a while, he saw her hands stir in her lap, reaching up to her face or a short sniffle would shudder her chest. She was choosing not to speak to him, not to touch him, not to look at him.

Numbness still coated everything he felt. Even the raw edge of those softer emotions had been dulled. He would mourn that comfort he used to have with (Y/N) once she was somewhere safe.

Once the meter for the gas in his tank drifted too low for comfort, Harry strayed from the highway for the first time since embarking out. He had waited, patrolling the exits, until he saw one that looked well lit and close to the highway to make a quick exit as soon as he was done. While he was ninety-eight percent sure they weren't being followed, he knew that wouldn’t be the case for too much longer. Soon enough someone was going to notice he was gone and had another with him.

Even with his certainty, Harry still took the exit and lingered around the station until he could be sure that no one was following them. When he didn't see any headlights coming after them, a stranger pull out of the shadows, or any other suspicious omen, he finally made his way to the pump.

His movements were calculated to cut every second of time he possibly could, everything efficient to ensure safety was that much closer. He made quick work of grabbing the money he had stashed in the center console, his attention placed on the numbered flag hanging on the meter.

"'M going to go pay inside," he told (Y/N), his voice feeling loud in the silent cab, "Do y'want anything?"

(Y/N) only shook her head.

Harry lingered for a moment, the wasted time going against his instincts though he didn’t budge. "Do y'want to come in with me?"

He watched as she swallowed, one of her hands reaching up to her face and wiping across her cheek. "I'm okay," was her response, the words watery and thin. She sniffled.

His lips thinned when he realized why she was so hesitant to even glance his way. He hadn't known she was so upset. He knew she'd been scared, but there was no indication that she had been crumbling away in the seat beside him.

She said she trusted him.

With limited light reaching through the windows, he wasn't allowed much of a view of her, her face cast in shadows and the details fuzzied by the dark. He didn't make any move to get out of the car. "(Y/N)..."

"Hm?" She barely managed to make her voice above a whisper.

"Look at me."

(Y/N) shook her head at his strict command, her hair covering her face even further. Her hands lingered around her face, wiping tears he was sure she was trying to keep away from his eyes.

"Please, look at me," he tried again, his voice decidedly softer the longer he tried to picture what she looked like with tears streaking her skin, "I jus' want to make sure you're okay."

Something bubbled over inside (Y/N) when she heard his words causing her to whip her face up to look at him, her red-rimmed eyes angry. Her lips though swollen from her silent crying were thinned into a stern line as she matched his gaze. The light shimmer of tears sparkled on her skin.

"I'm not okay, Harry!" she said, no longer trying to wipe away the evidence of her tears, the droplets slicking her skin in unstoppable rivers, "I have no idea what's going on, or where you're taking me, or why I wasn't safe at home anymore! You woke me up at three in the morning, telling me that I have to trust you and that we needed to leave, but you won't tell me why and I'm scared, Harry! I'm not okay! I'm scared, and all you want is for me to trust you but I have no idea what's going on and you won't tell me anything!"

Her hands had formed fists in her lap, her skin heating with a stunted breath shuddering her lungs when she managed to tame some of her rage. Tears poured down her cheeks, cry-swollen lips beginning to quiver as she tried to say something else, only for her voice to break. She all but deflated now that everything was out of her system, only a whimper managing to escape her throat.

Harry couldn't pull his gaze from her. The box he had tucked away in the back of his mind unraveled just enough as he looked at her. He forgot what it was like to be scared like this; it'd been years since he first ran, he barely remembered what it was like to be ripped from everything you knew and have no idea what the future held—even what the next hours would look like. He couldn't look at her crying eyes and not do anything to help.

That unraveling allowed him to stretch over the center console and meet (Y/N) halfway. Her balled hands were taken in his, her fingers laying limp across his own as Harry cuddled them in a stern hold. He waited for her to reluctantly match his gaze before speaking.

"'M sorry, (Y/N)," he said, his voice a low croon as if there were anyone else around to hear. He pulsed his hands around hers, pressing the apology into her skin and in hopes of making her believe it. "If there were any other way to take care of all of this, I would have done it. But, we don't have enough time. I need to get y'somewhere safe before I can tell y'anything. I didn't want to scare you." That initial unraveling allowed for a crack to budge through his foundation. He held himself together with a thick swallow and his grip on (Y/N)'s hands—his reality. "I-I couldn't leave y'back there, but I promise I will get y'home when 's safe again. As soon as I know you'll be okay, I'll make sure y'make it home."

(Y/N)'s breathing evened out from the angered pants she'd gone through during her own speech. A level of clarity reached her glossy eyes. She squeezed her hands in Harry's, her statue limbs coming alive to reciprocate his hold.

"Y'still trust me?" he asked her cautiously, dipping his head and looking at her through the fan of his lashes.

No hesitation before she was nodding her head. Her eyes shimmered in the dingy light. "I'm scared."

"I am, too." His voice was barely a whisper. A true secret just for her to hear—one he'd never let out before.

She nodded her head as if accepting everything she was learning, and everything she wasn't. "But, we're going to be okay, right?"

Hearing the word we come out of her mouth felt like a punch in his chest, something breaking and shattering against bony knuckles. Even knowing he was the reason she was no longer safe, she still wanted him to be safe with her.

Harry's throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. "'M gonna make sure you're alright and safe by the end of this, okay? I promise."

If there was anything he was going to accomplish in all of this, it was ensuring that she was safe and could go back to the life she had before she had the misfortune of knowing him. Even if it meant Harry had to go back to his old life or end up somewhere he would never be found again, that's what he would sacrifice. Nothing mattered except making sure she was going to be well and happy after he left her alone.

Something flashed in (Y/N)'s eyes as she listened to him, a pinch appearing between her brows. Before she could say much, he squeezed her hands once more. "'M going to go inside, yeah? Do y'want to come with me or stay here?"

Her features relaxed, gaze darting around the empty station. "You'll be fast?"

"I'll be back before y'know it."

His stupid quip was just the thing to get a short smile touching at her features. The first one he'd seen since he last bothered her days before.

"I can hold down the fort here, then," she told him, offering him a view of that gentle smile as she tipped her chin up just enough to feign confidence.

With her chin tilted just right and the low light filling the area, Harry wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He wanted to show her he could still be that man she invited into her home, the one that earned her trust in the first place, the one that could hold her gently and show her that she wasn't alone. But, the first thing that popped into his brain before he could even inch forward was the photo stashed away in his bag. The moment didn't seem so romantic now.

Backing off, Harry pulsed his hands around hers for just a moment longer.

"I'll be right back," he muttered to her, pushing his door open. "Lock the doors while 'm gone."

Even when he heard the click of the locks and felt the static of her gaze on him, Harry didn't look back as he walked away from her.

—————

Sighing, Harry pulled into the parking lot of the powder blue motel.

The only drawing factors to the rundown building were the lights being on in the check-in station and the vacancy neon lit up on the roadside sign. If not for the fact he'd seen (Y/N) nodding off an hour back on the highway, he would have kept driving. It'd been hours since she bawled at the gas station, and Harry wanted to give her somewhere comfortable to sleep for the night—even if this place didn't look particularly safe or clean.

Nonetheless, this wasn't the first time he'd stopped at a place like this, and they were good cover; less traffic went through, allowing Harry to make note of every person he saw, the rooms were cheap with attendants that didn't ask questions, and they were further out of the way and harder to find. Besides, it couldn't be too bad. Just in case, back at the gas station he had purchased a couple of fleecy, cheap blankets and travel pillows. Even if the place wasn't perfect, she'd have something to keep her comfortable for the time being.

Putting the car in park, he saw (Y/N) perk up from the corner of his eye. Her features were lit up in the glow of the neon, her skin painted a pearly blue with streaks of orange and red splashed across. She was exhausted; puffy eyes, swollen lips, and cheeks that just barely glistened in the light with perfect tracks of tears.

"We're stopping?" she peeped, her voice low to match the still silence in the car.

"For tonight," he decided, hands falling from the steering wheel. "We'll sleep, eat when we wake up, then we'll keep going." Even as he spoke of sleep, Harry doubted they had much more than an hour before the sun would begin to rise after the time spent on the road.

(Y/N) nodded quietly, moving to unbuckle herself as Harry did the same. He stopped when he heard the click of her seatbelt unlatching.

"Y'stay here, yeah?" he asked. "I'll come get y'when I have a room and everything."

She didn't fight him, instead just settling in her seat once more. "Okay."

Harry's jaw ticked at her dejection. Under that steeled demeanor he had curated for this, seeing her so defeated poked at the soft bits that didn't have time to hide behind his walls. More than anything, he wanted her to stay back so there would be less witnesses to pair them together if anyone came asking for him. It was safer this way, he wanted to tell her, all of this was to keep her safe more than anything.

Instead, he stepped out of the car silently, locking the doors behind him.

With a facade in place, Harry revived a version of himself he thought he left behind long ago. This Harry had an air of unwavering confidence. No one would dare question him. He was unfeeling, completely stoic and unshakable. This Harry had no qualms about the things he had to do.

That was who stepped inside the lobby of the motel, a bell jingling above his head. The attendant that had been lounging behind the desk, phone in hand, startled awake. He hadn't been expecting anyone, that much was obvious.

"Hi, how can I help you?" he rushed out, his voice in monotone after a near-silent shift.

"I need a room."

The attendant unabashedly yawned, mouth wide as he nodded. Looking to the computer screen in front of him, he clicked with taps of his fingers on the mouse. "How many nights?"

"Just for today."

He stopped his tapping at the computer, the screen stalling as a dark brow was arched over a suspicious gaze. Harry didn't flinch as the kid's eyes assessed him. "Just you?" he asked, skeptical.

"For two, please."

The attendant's gaze moved on, Harry's matching eye contact being more than enough to push his attention away. He appeared bored once more as he looked at the computer in front of him. "Our only two bed room is out of order at the moment. Sorry."

Despite the fact Harry couldn't conceive of a way a room could be out of order, especially in a place he doubted had particularly high standards, he thinned his lips and nodded his head. "Whatever y'have available then, please."

"I have a single queen open."

"That's fine," Harry blinked, already bored with the fact that this was taking longer than he liked. "Thank you."

"Cool," the attendant offered, sounding just as disinterested as Harry felt. "It'll be thirty-five for the rest of the night. Check out is at three or earlier, but if you want another night just come back up here. Second night's cheaper."

After the price was passed along, the rest of the explanation fell on deaf ears as Harry pulled some cash from his wallet. This pricing was just one of the reasons he preferred these kinds of places. He didn't want to blow all of his run-money on having somewhere to sleep for a few hours.

Harry worked quickly, passing along the cash in exchange for a sheet of paperwork he needed to sign. The page called for names and contact information, a whole top section saving the motel from any kind of liability if anything were to go wrong in one of their rooms. Particularly in the bathrooms.

It wasn't a comforting passage to read through, but Harry didn't care at this point. The longer he let (Y/N) sit alone in the car, the more anxiety built in his system. While he had a good idea that they weren't being followed, he could never be completely certain.

"So, you on vacation or something?" the attendant chatted, leaning on the front desk while Harry printed out fake names and numbers for both him and (Y/N).

"Kind of."

A hum left the attendant's throat. "That your girl out there then?"

The pen in Harry's hand skipped over a digit of the fake number. This kid was half asleep when he walked in and now there were all these questions to be asked?

Through a ticked jaw, Harry grumbled, "Something like that." He spared a single second longer to forge a nonsense signature before he was pushing the page and the pen back to the opposite side of the desk. "Which room?"

Recoiling, the attendant barely glanced at the information page before he was reaching around for the key. "Um, room six," he mumbled, passing along a key with a red, plastic tag with a large six stamped across, "Just leave the key on the table and the door unlocked when you leave."

"Yeah, thanks," Harry huffed, his muscles strung tight. How much time had he wasted in here?

"Have a nice night, man," the attendant offered.

Harry kept walking.

He rounded the car, heading towards the back seat where he had all of their bags and (Y/N)'s creature comforts. He could feel her eyes on him as he moved. It didn't surprise him when he heard her push her door open, feet stepping over the gravel of the unpaved parking lot.

"We're good?" (Y/N) asked, voice harmonizing with the sounds of the night around them.

Nodding, Harry passed her the key as he hiked the straps of their bags over his shoulders. "We're in six," he told her, jerking his chin down the length of the motel.

(Y/N) hesitated in her spot, eyeing all of the baggage he was shouldering. She looked just as tired as when the night started.

"C'mon," Harry prompted her, taking steps down for her to follow. She almost tripped to catch up with him.

Counting down the room numbers, they found number six towards the end of the strip, right beside the room with the Out Of Order sign. Harry's lips thinned at the sight.

Overall, the room wasn't too bad when they managed to make it inside. The lock stuck for more than a minute, the jamb unyielding as it held onto the door. (Harry didn't mind that quirk, really. He saw it as a built-in protection should anyone try to push their way into the room). Inside, the same color palette of powder blues and dull grey filled out the furnishings. An oddly colored landscape print was hung above the bed, complete with a ruffled blue ocean that matched the bedding below it. A tiny bathroom was shown off through the open door, seashells decorating the shower curtain.

Harry's attention almost immediately fell on the heavy curtains on the window, the split between the two panels a little too large for his liking. The second he had the bags settled, that was the first thing he fixed. He couldn't tell if they were dyed grey or dulled down from a collection of dust.

While he had his complaints of the space, it wasn't like Harry had much room to stand, he knew that. His apartment wasn't much better. The bed even, despite the comforter looking as if it needed a good wash, had a better bed frame than what he had been sleeping in for the last almost six months. He just hoped (Y/N) would be able to relax here, even if just for a few hours to decompress.

From the corner of his eye, (Y/N) wandered about the room. She seemed almost in a daze as she cast her gaze around, even peeking into the bathroom though she didn't appear to take much in. He couldn't blame her for being disconnected; if he could do the same, he would be almost catatonic.

Pulling the blanket from the flimsy packaging and one of the travel pillows, Harry laid them out on the blue bed. "Y'can sleep on these tonight if you're not comfortable with the bed."

(Y/N) snapped out of her daze at the sound of his voice, almost stumbling in her spot. She focused on him, eyes glazing down to the puff of a blanket he had folded on the foot of the bed. "Hm?"

"Jus' got y'some things so y'could sleep a little better tonight," Harry explained, urging himself not to tear at his cuticles, "You tired?"

She lagged in her spot for a moment. "I think I want to shower first, actually. Is that okay?"

He pulled back the sigh that wanted to escape his throat. He didn't like that she suddenly started asking him for permission.

"More than okay," he settled, "I'll be out here if y'need anything, yeah?"

Shooting him a small smile, (Y/N) went about collecting all of her things. It was slow the way she moved, glancing at him more than once as if he would strike if left unmonitored. The only movement he made was dropping himself into one of the understuffed armchairs positioned in front of the window.

Once the bathroom door was locked behind her, Harry felt a tightness in his chest. He knew it was most likely an instinct, but it poked at him, thinking that she was now scared of him. How was he supposed to keep her safe when she thought of him as a threat?

The thought made Harry restless, the sound of the running shower meshing with the buzz of his brain. He couldn't sit for longer than a handful of minutes before he was up and fussing about the room. Sparing both of the blankets he purchased, he made a cot for (Y/N) atop the already made bed, travel pillow dotted at the top. Though he wasn't particularly inclined to use it, he still grabbed the extra quilt that was tucked in the chest of drawers underneath the window. That would be his bedding, he decided, a pair of his sweats folded up under his head would be his pillow. The longer she was in the shower, Harry couldn't distract himself enough until he was changing his clothing into something comfortable enough to sleep in (or lay around for hours in, which is what he knew he'd be doing instead of finding sleep). He knew he wouldn't be able to shower tonight; the thought of being vulnerable and behind another set of doors with (Y/N) to fend for herself made his skin crawl.

By the time (Y/N) stepped out of the bathroom with a plume of steam, she seemed more exhausted than when she stepped in. Nonetheless, she still offered him a quiet smile as she tucked her clothing back into her duffle.

"Hi," she peeped, fingers fumbling with the zip.

"Feel better?" he mused, sitting in what he was considering his armchair for the night, plucking at a loose thread on the arm.

"A little, yeah," she settled on, standing to the full of her height with her clothes tucked away. Her gaze landed on the bed on top of the bed Harry made for her. "This is for me?"

Harry nodded, matching her eyes on the double stack of blankets. "I know these places aren't always the cleanest, so I picked a couple of things y'could use if y'wanted."

(Y/N) fell silent as she cautiously sat herself on the corner of the bed closest to him. A knit appeared between her brows, as she cast her eyes onto her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier, Harry," she mumbled, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

He sat forward then, elbows on his knees as he looked at her with his own brows in a furrow. "Hey, I don't want you to apologize for that, okay? No reason to be sorry for any of that."

Her throat squeezed as she swallowed thickly around her words. He was sure she could feel his gaze on the side of her face, but she kept her gaze on her hands. "I just... You said you were scared too, and I shouldn't be screaming at you when we need to be helping each other. I just shouldn't have done that, and start being more helpful an—"

"No, you're not apologizing to me for this, okay?" he cut her off, unwilling to hear whatever narrative she decided on where she somehow had accountability in any of this, "This is my fault; I am the reason we are in this situation. Y'were right, and needed to let all of that out, (Y/N). Don't apologize to me.

"I don't want y'saying sorry for my problems. Y'don't need to be helpful or anything else in all of this. 'M going to fix all of this, I jus' need y'to trust me." Harry swallowed, his throat feeling dry as the weight of his own words caught up to him. "I know that's a lot to ask of you, but that's all I need from you. That's all I need to be able to get y'home soon."

A sniffle had her nose wrinkling, a small nod causing her wet hair to sway. She looked at him for the first time since sitting down, eyes glossy and wet. "I trust you, Harry," she murmured, voice watery.

In a split second, Harry saw the way she reached out for him. It was a twitch of her fingers, that purse of her lips, the tensing of her legs, that told him she was going to reach for him, wrap herself into a hug he gave to her freely before this. While he wasn't proud of it, he dropped his gaze from hers, moving his hand out of reach for her as he brushed his knuckle against the tip of her nose. He leaned just that much away from her, a movement he could pass on as absent. As if he wasn't trying to dodge her touch.

Feeling the warmth of her skin and allowing himself to grow reckless enough to reciprocate was one of the many reasons she was now roped into this mess. He couldn't make the same mistake now, not when her safety was the only thing he had on his mind.

He didn't deserve her touch after all that he'd put her through in the last few hours.

Something dimmed in (Y/N)'s eyes when he dared a look up at her. She sat still in her spot.

Clearing his throat, Harry passed his gaze to the palette behind her. "We need to sleep while we can," he started, absently picking at his raw cuticles, "We can eat when we wake up, then I think we should head out again."

"Okay," she said after a beat, voice distant. Spotting the makeshift bed on the floor, she flicked her gaze to Harry. "Is that where you're sleeping?"

"I want y'to take the bed."

For a flash, Harry could see that stubborn smoke he saw back in the bakery when she was so insistent about him indulging in her treats for free. It was the way it drained almost immediately that poked at the soft part of his heart.

"Thank you," she told him instead. Grabbing the edge of her makeshift bed, she slipped underneath the fleece. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

The words echoed in the silence of their room. Harry stiffly followed her suit, finding his own bed on the ground.

Harry didn't find sleep until he saw shards of light pitching through the curtains, the rising sun having beat him.

—————

Despite having fallen asleep last, Harry woke up first only a few hours later after a dreamless sleep. (Y/N) was still sound asleep, curled up in the cot he made on the top of the real. While she didn't look particularly peaceful, he knew she needed to sleep. The visible exhaustion he had seen on her remained in his brain. He wanted her to have as much time as she could to relax before he'd be putting her through another day of running.

Harry let her sleep as he showered. The rinse under the water he did barely could be considered a shower, but he didn't want to spend more time than necessary with (Y/N) unattended. By the time he made it out and changed into the set of clothing he'd used as his pillow during the night, she had barely moved in her spot, only the crease between her brows deepening just that much more. Harry wanted to smooth out the furrow, but kept his hands to himself.

He didn't disturb her as he went about trying to plan what the rest of the morning would look like before he'd set them on the road again. Unwilling to go very far from her, Harry only wandered as far as the front desk station, now manned by someone other than the attendant from the night before, though they seemed just as insistent on learning what Harry was up to. Asking about breakfast options close by, he was directed to a diner down the road, closer to the center of the small town they'd landed in.

In the interest of allowing (Y/N) to sleep in and make everything as easy as possible on her, he wanted to head out on his own and pick up meals from the diner and bring them back to their room. Maybe, it would make her smile to be greeted with warm food after what he was sure was a traumatic night.

But, the thought of being so far away from her for less than an hour, had something in his veins beginning to buzz. Anything could happen in that time while he was missing, and he would have left her completely defenseless. He'd never forgive himself if her life came down to takeaway boxes. If he could barely handle showering and walking as far as to the front desk without constantly feeling the need to check on her, traveling fifteen minutes away was going to be out of the question.

Instead, Harry took himself back to their shared room and took up residence in the same floral armchair that he took over the night before. This way, he'd be right there if she needed him.

The silence was something he hadn't accounted for, though.

While the last twelve hours had been on the quiet end, this was different. Before, (Y/N) was there, in her own world, but there to sit beside him and give him something to focus on—something real. Now, with her sound asleep, he was virtually alone. The freedom was more of a curse to his brain than a decompressing moment he had hoped for.

He didn't know where they were going, where he could take her, where they even were outside of a few roadsides. He didn't even know when they could stop running—if they could stop running.

Though this sloppy getaway was the only option at the time, the loose ends he hadn't thought about were getting more and more tangled the longer he left them without a plan. In all of the previous times he'd escaped his past, there were never this many variables to work out; (Y/N) wasn't a ghost like him. He didn't know when she would be safe, how closely they were being followed, and yet he had promised he'd be able to take her home soon.

He worried he wouldn't be able to follow through on that promise.

But, this was giving him time. The running and dodging was earning him time to figure something out. Anything.

Flicking his glazed gaze down to her curled form, the only thing Harry knew was that he wanted to keep her safe. He'd do anything.

—————

An hour of more rest passed before Harry forced himself to wake (Y/N).

Despite the fact he knew they were on a thin time limit, guilt still wracked his system when she had blinked her eyes up at him, something a little wild and scared appearing in her gaze for a split second. He knew she remembered everything that had happened after a moment when she settled into the mattress and only looked dejectedly at him.

He didn't know what to say to her. Instead, he only told her they needed to go eat before he'd start driving them out of town again.

(Y/N) had followed his directions quietly, only nodding and humming. He hoped it was only because she was still tired. Maybe she could sleep in the car today.

After getting dressed and ready to head out with their bags packed and room key sitting on the side table, Harry guided them back to the car. He felt a little better once the doors had sealed behind them, motor running with the key in the ignition. This was his only defense at the moment—the only thing he was in control of. It comforted him.

"There's this diner down the road we can eat at, then we've got to get going again." Harry's voice was a rumble that matched the engine as he backed out of the space he'd taken at the motel.

He hadn't been expecting to hear anything from (Y/N).

"Do you know where we're going, yet?" she asked, her voice small.

Harry swallowed, his throat bobbing. He was grateful for the fact he had to focus on backing them out so he wouldn't have to look at her when he spoke.

"No."

(Y/N) only nodded.

—————

Breakfast at the diner was quiet. Even with the food set out in front of her—an omelette with cheese and spinach, though the hash browns weren't as crispy as he knew she liked—she was more interested in the hollow town outside the window. She picked at the edges of her eggs, taking a bite here and there before instead tearing it apart and pushing the pieces around. She didn't bother with the hashbrowns. As soon as she realized Harry had finished his own plate, she was telling him she was ready to go when he was. He didn't argue with her.

Now with the town behind them, Harry forced himself to focus on blending in with the crowds of cars on the busy highway. Now with the sun up, he wasn't able to weave and swerve the way he did the night before without attracting attention. Driving so controlled and slow made him more anxious than the high speeds and knee-jerk lane switches.

Once he merged into a group of other travelers, his speed regulated and route nothing more than a straight shot forward, he allowed a brief glance outside of the constant cycle of checking every mirror. From the corner of his eye, (Y/N) was tucked into her seat, her eyes fluttering closed in long blinks before she was forcing them open and her attention forward. She looked moments away from curling up and falling asleep once more.

"Y'can sleep, you know."

(Y/N) startled in her spot, a short gasp blowing through her nose as her posture straightened to something uncomfortable. "What?"

"Y'can sleep if you're still tired. I'll wake y'up when we stop," he explained, his voice low as he tried to keep his eyes from drifting and sticking to her.

"Oh," she sounded, looking at him with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth even with the relief in her eyes. "Thank you."

With that, (Y/N) shucked off her shoes, brought her legs up underneath herself and curled up as best she could in the confined space of the cab. Her hand cushioned her head against the doorframe. She didn't look particularly comfortable, but with the way she drifted off almost immediately, he figured it couldn't be that bad.

—————

Despite what he had told her, Harry didn't wake her when he stopped for petrol later in the drive. If she was able to sleep through the jostling of the drive and the noise of the dirt road he had to take to get to the station in the first place, she was too tired for him to not feel guilty over waking her.

Merging back onto the highway, another dense group of travelers becoming his home for the next stretch, Harry tried his best to relax. Though he knew she was right there, he was spending too much time with his thoughts, unable to ignore the swirling pit forming in his stomach.

This was the kind of stress he hadn't felt in years, not since the first time he ran like this, and he had hoped he never would again. But, if this was the cost of keeping (Y/N) safe, he'd go through his over and over and over again.

Trying to stay a step ahead, he stitched any kind of plan together he could think of in the moment. Major cities were being advertised on the guiding green signs off the side of the road, miles marked between each. There had to be a small village he could stop them off in somewhere between, somewhere quiet enough to keep them hidden. This time, he hoped he could let her sleep and be comfortable for longer than one night, though he doubted his anxiety would allow them to stay in one spot for very long.

The longer Harry sat, stewing in all of the possibilities and variables that followed after them, he felt his hands grow restless wrapped around the steering wheel. His cuticles were already picked raw from the night before when he laid staring at the ceiling. Flicking his gaze to the glove compartment, an inch started in his palm. A glance in (Y/N)'s direction showed that she was just as deeply asleep as she had been for the last hour.

It took barely a moment of hesitation, a deep breath through his nose, before he lessened his foot on the gas just enough. He reached across the center console, making a point to keep his touch from hovering around (Y/N). His fingers caught on the latch to the glove compartment, pulling the door open.

A small strip of light clinging to the top lit up the contents: loose napkins, an old gas station receipt, one of his guns, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes.

The carton and lighter were the two things he grabbed before splaying the napkins atop the firearm. Smoking was a habit he kicked a long time ago—it was too expensive and a fix too temporary for problems he knew ran deeper than just ten minutes of smoke in his lungs.

But, he could only be so strong. Back in the thick of it all, smoking used to be one of the only things that would relax him, take him off the teetering edge of his anxiety. It wouldn't be so bad to have just one right now; maybe it would help his brain settle and allow him a moment of clarity in all of this.

(Y/N) won't even know, he'd make sure of it. He'd smoke a single one, and then put it out before she woke up.

Cracking the window just enough, he kept his eyes on the road as he rested the single cigarette between his lips. The carton was quickly replaced into the glove compartment before he carefully ignited his lighter and lit the end of his cigarette. Once the cherry lit a warm red, the lighter joined the pack to be tucked away.

His first breath in exhaled like a sigh, the smoke trailing out the open window. Just the single drag allowed a level of calmness he hadn't felt since he was leaving his shift at the grocery store. As much as he complained about the mundanity of his job and his pestering coworkers, there wasn't much he wouldn't give to go back to just a few days ago.

But, this was the most he felt like himself since the last time he had caved and picked up this carton. In an odd way, each puff reminded him of what he was set out to be doing, and what kind of man he needed to be to get through this. He'd lost some of that self control over the time since he'd met (Y/N), but now was the time for him to find them. This time, these walls weren't going to be for his sake, but for her. She needed him to be that kind of man again, because he would be the one that would get her home safe, and ensure none of his problems followed after.

Harry pressed harder on the gas, the speedometer ticking ten above the limit.

The faster this is all over—the faster (Y/N) was safe—he'd pick a new place to settle for some time and move on from all of this. He'd make sure no one had to deal with him like this ever again.

Just barely, Harry heard a rustling from the passenger seat. A sleep-dredged voice said: "I didn't know you smoked."

Taking his last drag, the smoke billowing out the cracked window, Harry flicked the end of his cigarette out the window. "I don't," he told her.

He rolled up the window, sealing everything inside.

—————

"When do we leave tomorrow?"

This new motel's yellow walls looked too bright to be the background to (Y/N)'s sleep-sullen form. Her hair was still damp from her shower, baby hairs clinging to the edges of her face. She sat on the motel's cream bedding, her usual cot of a fleece blanket and travel pillow cushioning her contact with the questionable cleanliness of the space. This room's version of the floral armchair was a plain brown recliner settled beside the window.

"'M thinking sometime in the morning, a little early," Harry told her, his knuckle brushing the tip of his nose, "We stopped early tonight, so I want to make sure we have time to move on."

"Okay," she answered simply, her voice a monotone blip.

Harry swallowed back the sigh that wanted to drift from his throat.

This was the fourth time they've had this conversation. Four days on the road, with this yellow spot being the fourth motel he'd checked them into. The evidence of the rough road was clear in the dark circles under her eyes, and the way she barely had any energy to shower at the end of the night. Harry had to have been driving for a collective forty-eight hours at this point, blending in with others on the road while keeping a close eye on... everything. These days he only slept as much as he did because of the exhaustion pushing his brain to shutter for a few hours.

"I'll see you in the morning, then," (Y/N) said, running a heavy hand through her hair as she shuffled into her cot, "Goodnight, Harry."

Watching her, he knew he wasn't going to wake her until she was ready. She needed every bit of reprieve she could get. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

Just like she had been lately, (Y/N) fell asleep quickly, her head hitting the pillow moments before her eyes shut. As exhausted as he was, Harry knew he had a few more hours before he would be able to join her, his body still buzzing from the day of escape. Just like every other day.

Keeping his station in the armchair, Harry wished he could distract himself. His cigarettes were in the car (he didn't really want to smoke anymore, anyway. One was enough for a while), his cuticles were already picked raw, and his book was stuffed at the bottom of his bag in the car. He was then left in the dark of the motel, a single lamplight on, and (Y/N)'s even breaths the soundtrack.

She didn't ask where they were going anymore, not after the handful of times he told her he didn't know over and over. She just lets him take her wherever, no questions asked. He couldn't tell if it was because of the trust or if she was defeated after it all.

It broke his heart.

It was still (Y/N) he was traveling with, her bright eyes taking in the sights as they ran through, but she didn't chirp and quip with him like she used to. She pushed around her food until hunger took over and she took whatever snacks Harry picked up at the gas station. He knew she missed everything she had left behind when she agreed to trust him and leave with him, but she didn't speak of it.

He knew it was his fault, that he was the one that was supposed to deal with all of this instead of stringing her along until he forced himself to do so. But, he was being honest when he told her he didn't know.

He didn't know what he was doing, or how to fix everything. If it was just him who was running, there wouldn't be so much worry. Harry knew how to take care of himself, but adding (Y/N) into the mix shifted his priorities in a way that sent his head spinning.

It scared him.

This kind of life used to be so familiar, an old home he grew into, this wasn't the same neighborhood. It had the same architecture, the same doorway, the same floors, but it wasn't the same place. This kind of danger he wasn't accustomed to. This wasn't the kind of running he was going to be able to move effortlessly through like he had before.

It was all going to have to stop soon. Harry couldn't keep finding greasy diners and powdery motels, gas stations to keep them on the run. It wasn't an option to keep (Y/N) away much longer, not with the way he could see her reverting into her shell more and more everyday. She had a life she deserved to return to.

That was all Harry was able to think about as he sat watch for the night, his eyes only shutting when his body finally forced him to sleep dreamlessly.

—————

This motel was a sunbleached pink, patchy and bright. With the setting sun, the off-white trim was tinted a peachy orange, covering the dark stains and unwashed dirt he was sure were left behind on the surface. (Y/N) led the way this time, her duffle bag over her shoulder and the keys in her hand, while Harry was behind with to-go orders of their dinner in his hands. She adjusted the strap on her bag, her eyes scanning around while they scaled the length of the motel towards their room at the end.

"After a while, they all kind of look the same, don't they?" she mused, tossing a look at him over her shoulder, "They're always some kind of pastel, have an out of order pool, and the same three art pieces."

For the first time since embarking out on the run, Harry felt that itch in his cheeks to spread a smile across his lips. This was the cheeriest he'd heard her be in days—the most herself she'd been since he pulled her into the car with him. There was a pressure in his lungs that eased just the smallest amount at the sound of the chirp in her voice.

"They all have the same smell, too," he told her, his eyes softening as he watched her rattle the sticky lock to their room, "Like bleach, but bleach that was here two weeks ago."

A peal of laughter left her lips at his comment, the first airy sound he'd heard from her in a while.

He followed after her as they made it into their room, Harry twisting the lock while she deposited her things onto the bed. She was running out of clean clothes, he knew that, but she didn't say anything as she rifled through the limited amount she did have.

"After I shower, do you want to sit down and eat?" she asked, looking up at him with her hands buried in her clothes.

"Sounds good," he told her as he settled in himself, dropping their boxed dinners on the side table with his own bag slipping down his shoulder.

With that, (Y/N) gathered the few pieces of clothing she had left before moving onto the cramped bathroom. In the silence of the room, the closed door sealing them apart, Harry took a deep breath as he sunk into this motel's version of his floral armchair (this one was a loveseat stationed under the single window).

This was their routine. Harry drove for hours on end, taking them in whatever direction he figured would move them towards safety despite not knowing where safety was, landing them in a motel where (Y/N) would shower before the night began. Sometimes they would eat, other times go right to bed depending on how she felt. Every day had the same ritual with Harry's eyes constantly looking out for any possible threat with (Y/N) waiting for the next powdery motel he picked for the night.

Harry felt guilty even thinking it, but it was kind of nice not doing this alone. Even with all the strain, the stress, and everything working against them, there was a part of him that was almost eased by the fact he wasn't alone in all of this.

Even now, setting up their dinner so she could sit right down after she showered, Harry could hear a small hum coming from the bathroom and he didn't feel so alone.

—————

(Y/N)'s eyelids felt stiff as she forced them open, her limbs heavy and tangled in her cot. The room was warm, baby hairs sticking to the back of her neck. But, that wasn't what woke her in the middle of the night.

Harry's voice was a mumble in the dark of the motel room, his body bundled up on the tiny couch pressed against the wall. (No matter how many times she insisted that they could switch, even for the night, he always took the floor or bundled himself onto one of the other uncomfortable pieces of furniture in the room. He never complained about his back hurting, even when he saw him rolling his neck and shifting all around in his seat while driving). His words were mushed and a little too quiet for (Y/N)'s sleep-addled brain to comprehend. It wasn't until she heard her name that she sat up.

Spying him on the furniture, he was laid out on his back, scrunched tightly into the space, but he wasn't looking at her either. He was dreaming.

His features were twisted with creases between his furrowed brows, eyes scrunched tight, and mouth open as he spoke to no one. The thin sheet he had pulled from the near-bare closet had been kicked down to his waist as he squirmed in his spot. Hot puffs of air left his mouth in between the mumbled words he pulled from his throat. His hands were bundled into fists, one tightly holding onto the sheet and the other laying heavily on his chest.

After he said her name, he seemed to quiet some even though his body stayed tightly strung. His mouth was moving but barely any noise was leaving his lips.

In a burst of energy, he found his voice again, mumbles making way for clear protests. "No, no, no, no!" he rushed out, louder than she had ever heard him speak even during the day. (Y/N) jumped, not expecting the bubble of silence to burst like that. She hesitated in her spot. Were you supposed to wake up those who were having a nightmare, or leave them to sleep like a sleepwalker?

"(Y/N)!"

The syllables of her name were so clear and concise, she thought he was awake for a moment. The blanket in her hands bore the brunt of her fright as her grip tightened. As quickly as he had burst with noise, he was back to mumbling and mushing his words into nothing.

She knew he didn't sleep too soundly—or much at all, really—, but this was different. Harry was having a nightmare.

(Y/N) didn't hesitate then, untangling herself from her cot. It stabbed at a soft spot in her to see someone like Harry so scared and vulnerable over a dream; she didn't want to think about the things that would make someone as strong as him so upset. Hopefully the article she read was about letting sleepwalkers continue to dream, because she didn't think she could keep sitting there watching him break down like this. Especially when he gasped with a sob breaking through his throat. The smallest of tears touched at the corners of his eyes, glittering in the sliver of light remaining from the cracked bathroom door.

Slipping off of her bed, she sat on the floor beside the couch with her legs folded underneath her bottom. Carefully, she reached out and grazed her hand over his shoulder.

"Harry?" she whispered, compounding the soft touch on his tense shoulder.

He only clutched the sheet tighter, his mumbling picking up as a shiver worked through his body.

Swallowing, she tried again with a firmer hand. She could feel the tight set of his muscles as she pushed against his chest, shaking him. "Harry, wake up," she pleaded with him, "You're having a bad dream, you need to wake up."

His mumbling picked up, words becoming slightly more clear before he jerked his head away to face the back of the couch. He wrung the life out of the sheet in his hand. His breathing shuddered for a moment. She shook his shoulder once more.

"Stop!" he burst out, his breathing shaking just before he bubbled into another round of heavy sobbing breaths.

(Y/N) startled, jumping back and dropping her hand from his shoulder. She had thought he was beginning to come to, not still so deeply rooted in his dream to shout through the room. Her own breathing picked up as she tried to center herself after his outburst. He was still asleep.

Looking at him struggle against his own dream, (Y/N) reminded herself that Harry would never hurt her. He didn't even know that he had yelled at her, let alone scared her. He never would have done that if he was aware, she knew that. She needed to wake him up if this was the kind of effect his dream was having on him.

Reaching out once more, she shook his shoulder again. She firmly pressed against his skin, denting his flesh just enough in hopes of bringing him to the surface with her. "Harry, wake up," she told him, no longer trying to be gentle with her tone, "Harry."

Harry's breathing came in puffs, murmured words working in between that grew quieter and quieter as he twisted his hands into the sheet.

"Harry," she said once more. She shook his shoulder harder.

Just like that, he took in a sharp breath with his eyes popping open. His once tightly bundled fists relinquished the sheet and instead shook as he tried to take in his surroundings. A sheen of sweat glimmered on his forehead. She watched as he looked around as if finding the pieces of a puzzle until he landed on her. It was then that whatever had been missing clicked into place for him.

Her hand had fallen from his shoulder, backing away some from the couch when she saw how abruptly he was moving, but that didn't stop Harry from all but falling from the cushions and towards her. His eyes only seemed to focus when he took her in, the moss of his irises clearing. In moments, she had been pulled from the floor and repositioned in his lap, his arms a looping cage around her middle and head in her neck.

(Y/N) was stunned in her spot. Everything had happened so quickly. She had almost forgotten what it felt like for Harry to touch her, the last time she had felt his skin for longer than a brush being when he had barely held her hands and tried to comfort her that first night on the road. Now, he was touching her everywhere, cataloguing every inch of her as if he couldn't be sure she was there and whole. He held her body close to his, his lap cradling her to him to mimic the hold of his arms. She could feel the tip of his nose and the brush of his lips against the column of her throat, words he was saying being forgotten and melting against her skin.

Once she found her footing, she reciprocated his hold with her own gentle hug. With her on his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand stretching into his hair and brushing through the curls while the other dipped down his back. The blunt scratch of her nails made a soothing pace over his back, the circuit something he could hopefully focus on. She could feel each of his breaths, the fan of the exhale warming her neck.

"Harry?" she crooned to him.

As soon as she uttered his name, a shuddering breath rocked his lungs. Drops of wetness joined the graze of his nose over her skin, tears sliding between them. His hug tightened. Those mushy words she hadn't been able to understand became more prevalent, his voice shaking.

"I didn't mean to, (Y/N), 'm so sorry, please," he cried, swollen lips glancing over her skin.

A pinch knitted her brows together as she listened. She didn't understand why he was apologizing, but this wasn't really the time to start dissecting his dream when he was looking for some kind of reassurance. (Y/N) simply continued brushing her fingers through his hair and grazing her nails over his back.

"I know, Harry," she murmured, "It's okay."

That wasn't enough for him, it seemed as he shook his head from where it was buried against her throat. His tears slicked her skin. "I-I didn't want to, I promise. 'M so sorry, I di-didn't mean to, (Y/N). I didn't want to do it, 'm so sorry, 'm so sorry."

Her fingers curled in his hair. He was still stuck deep in his dream, she had no idea what he was talking about. Her lips thinned as he brought in a shuddering breath, hands shaking against her form.

"I know you didn't, I believe you," she told him, voice a gentle breeze in the quiet of the room, "I forgive you, okay? You're okay."

While he wasn't perfectly settled, that seemed to quell him enough as his pleads for forgiveness drifted into silence. He held her to him, his fingers pulsing against her body every now and then as if a reminder that she was solid and truly in his arms. As the minutes passed on, his breathing settled, working into even paces that fans across her skin with every exhale. He wasn't crying anymore, the much apse could tell. She kept her own touches up, tracing patterns over his back and threading through his curls.

He moved lethargically as he peeled his face away from her neck. She felt him move around her until he had his cheek pressed against her chest, just where her heart was beating against her ribcage. She was sure he could feel the pumps. He melted against her the longer he held her.

(Y/N) sat with him, their breathing matching one another, every slow exhale rewarded with a smooth of her hand over his hair. If not for the fact he hugged her so tightly, she would have figured he had fallen asleep.

"Are you alright?" she murmured, breaking the fragile silence.

In a blink, something shifted in the room. Harry tensed in her arms, the even pacing of his breathing skipping before resuming at opposing intervals.

"I...," he started, untangling himself from around her, "'M sorry, (Y/N)." Guiding her back to the floor, he helped her off his lap though he didn't dare match her eyes. "We should go back to bed. I want to leave early in the morning."

That wasn't the plan he had told her before, but she wasn't what she was going to bother focusing on for the time being. "But, Harry, you just..."

He shook his head, those curls she had pet back and smoothed through her fingertips now wild and flopping over his forehead. "It was nothing, (Y/N). 'M fine. 'M sorry I woke you up, but we have to leave in the morning. Get back to bed."

Hesitating in his spot, Harry chanced a single look in her direction, surely finding her with downturned brows and confused eyes. He didn't allow himself to linger before he was climbing back onto the couch and leaving her there.

Twisting the sheets back up to his chin, he told her once more, "Go back to sleep, (Y/N)."

Turning away from her, (Y/N) was left with a view of his back and the wrinkles in the thin sheet from where he had been wringing it in his sleep. She didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't even know really what had just happened and now she was supposed to pretend like nothing happened and go back to sleep?

Her head was spinning from how quickly the whole night had shifted and flipped and back again. She moved with absent limbs back onto the bed, slipping into the cot Harry put together for her, travel pillows under her head. She knew Harry wasn't sleeping—he barely did anyway, let alone after everything that just happened. If she had known that he would flip, she wouldn't have said anything.

With her back turned towards the occupied couch, (Y/N) didn't fall asleep again until exhaustion pulled her back down. She hoped Harry didn't have another bad dream if he bothered to sleep more at all.

—————

The cab of the car was as silent as the first night Harry had stolen (Y/N) away without explanation.

He didn't want to talk about the night before. He didn't like being so vulnerable in front of the one person he was supposed to be protecting. The whole reason they were in this mess was because he let his guard down, he couldn't do that again. That was why he dismissed her so blatantly when he realized what had happened; the second he heard her voice outside of his dream had woken him up from the comedown.

He didn't deserve to be comforted, not when his nightmare was nothing but a slideshow of his shortcomings.

It made it easier for him to focus, anyway. If he wasn't distracted with her touch and worrying about what it felt like to be in her arms, he could keep his brain clear. Even if his heart did break more and more every second she spent not speaking.

The sun's glare hit the bonnet of the car, the rays directly above them. They'd left at first light this morning, Harry forcing himself to stick to the lie he'd uttered to her when he was urging her to get back into bed. He needed to get her something to eat now that it'd been hours since she shoved a protein bar in her mouth for breakfast.

As usual, while he looked for a suitable exit to pull off, he cast his gaze to those vehicles around him. The longer they drove out, the more remote of a stretch they had landed on, leaving only a handful of other cars spaced out by a few miles. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but he still didn't take any chances.

The best opportunity came in the form of a rest stop twenty miles away from the nearest town. The small area consisted of a few small-town shops, an advertisement for a museum of fossils five miles deeper off the exit, and a gas station with a restaurant attached to the building. Coming upon the split in the road, Harry spotted the bare minimum of other patrons, no others on the main highway taking the exit.

Signaling, he pulled slowly off onto the exit, eyes switching to the rearview mirror to ensure he hadn't missed anything suspicious. Coming to a stop sign with a four-way intersection, he lingered a moment longer than necessary. When no one met up behind them, he went ahead, planning on trailing around for a minute or two before pulling into the gas station anyway.

Especially when he saw a big, black SUV cresting the exit ramp he'd just pulled off of.

Keeping his paranoia in check, Harry took a deep breath in. He hadn't seen that car on the road, and while it looked a little too familiar for comfort—a relic from a past life—that didn't mean anything. Anyone could have a car like that.

Nonetheless, he still took his time, making a point to slowly trace his way across the small rest area. If his paranoia was right, this car would pop up behind them at some point.

It wasn't until he pulled up to the single roundabout in the area that would lead out to the fossil museum that he got that dreaded confirmation. While the SUV wasn't right behind them, checking bumpers, they were definitely shadowing Harry. No turn signals were used, only smooth turns and curves to follow after his route.

His hands tightened on the wheel. He really, really hoped he was just letting the lack of sleep get to him.

Forgoing his turn signal, Harry took a sharp left turn into an alley between a pair of the roadside shops. His eyes were trained on his rearview, watching to see if anyone would follow the reckless move.

Unfortunately, a black SUV did just that.

(Y/N) hadn't been paying attention until then, a sharp gasp falling from her lips when Harry jerked the wheel for the turn. From the corner of his eye, he could see the flash of her hair as she looked around them, trying to find what would prompt his change.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking at him with wide eyes while he kept his attention directed ahead.

He didn't have enough room in his brain to try and explain at the moment. He needed to stay focused.

Reaching across the console, he popped open the glove compartment and snatched the gun from under a stack of napkins. (Y/N) stayed silent.

With the firearm on his lap, Harry's hands were white-knuckled around the steering wheel. His eyes only drifted from the rearview mirror so he could see directly in front of him. They knew now that he was aware they were shadowing him, the gap they'd given previously now all but completely closed. The windows were too tinted to make out clearly who was behind the wheel, but if things hadn't changed too much after he'd ran off, he had a good idea of who had been sent to tail him. And, he knew he was better.

His foot pressing on the gas had him racing through the streets, every turn taken sharply without a signal or a tap on the brakes. (Y/N) clutched the sides of her seat, her seatbelt tight across her body. Her wild eyes darted between Harry and the road in front of them.

All of these jerking turns and accelerating was just to bide his time until Harry could find a getaway onto the highway. The downside of these small stop areas, there wasn't much here to cause a distraction or obstacle for a clean getaway. He had to wait.

Lucky for him and unlucky for the driver he'd come across, someone had finally pulled out from the gas station. Harry watched as they came up to the same four-way he'd started this detour at. For the first time since noticing his shadow, Harry pressed on the brakes. He stopped long enough for the SUV to come close behind them. A second before he knew it would be too late for them to leave, Harry saw the third car start to pull out into the intersection.

Now was his chance.

In a move he learned after too many times of needing to get away as fast as possible from a tail, Harry hit the gas and peeled out on the asphalt. Maneuvering around them, the innocent car screeched to a halt in the middle of the intersection. Harry's hand on the emergency brake had him leaving marks on the blacktop, drifting around them to ensure he didn't give this person any more trouble than he already had. Before the SUV had a chance to follow after Harry, they were stopped in the intersection; they couldn't pass without a head-on collision that would cost them more time and damage than they could afford.

It took another sharp turn and a heady step on the gas pedal and Harry was pushing home back onto the highway.

Harry barely thought before he was weaving in and out between cars, and going too fast. His only thought was how quickly he could make that area disappear behind them. They were too close, that third car nothing more than a quick obstacle, for him to relax. Too soon, they'd find they way out here again and do anything they could to catch up. He wanted to be as far away as he could, hidden away in another village, before that happened.

Every reckless pass and blowing through speed limit signs felt like nothing by the time another hour had passed. No big SUV's had appeared on the horizon, just disgruntled drivers who were minutes away from uniting against him.

Forcing a heavy breath through his lungs and a loosening of his fingers around the wheel, Harry slowed. He needed to pick an exit for them to disappear on next. Hopefully, his shadow would assume he was too spooked to stop again, pushing them to assume forward instead of follow.

This time around, he picked a bigger exit, this one advertising chain restaurants and roadside shops. Others were taking the same route, something that made him a little nervous, but at least he could blend in this way. He knew what he was looking for now, he could make his getaway in moments if need be.

It wasn't until he pressed on the brake, signaling his turn, that (Y/N) seemed to come to life beside him.

"What just happened?"

Looking at her from the corner of his eye, she was just as scared as she'd been when he was whipping her around the rest stop. Her eyes were wide, flicking between his face and the gun on his lap, the safety having been switched off. Her fingers were still tearing into the sides of her seat, keeping her steady among whatever it was that was swimming through her head. She looked terrified.

Harry stayed quiet until he pulled into the shopping plaza a couple of miles past the roadside staples. Patrons were walking around, shopping bags in hands as they cruised the sidewalks, enjoying the sunshine on their skin. Bustling restaurants flooded the area with fragrant ingredients. Maybe, he could take her to one of those when he managed to explain everything.

Unable to relax completely, Harry picked a specific parking space, his eyes trained on the mouth of the plaza. He needed to be ready in case he saw someone that shouldn't be there.

"Harry, is someone following us?" (Y/N) tried again, her voice decidedly smaller than the pair of times she had tried to pull his attention. "Is that why we've been running?"

A lance of guilt poked at that soft crack in his heart. She really had no idea what he had dragged her into.

Pulling in a sigh, Harry dealt with the gun on his lap first. With the safety flicked back on, he reached across her to replace it in the compartment. (Y/N) shied away the closer the firearm was.

"Yes," was his simple answer, a deadpan tone to his voice.

A beat passed. "... Why?"

He didn't let his eyes stray from where he was patrolling. His throat bobbed as he swallowed around the jumbled explanation he tried to make sense of.

While he knew the truth was the only thing she deserved, he also knew she was scared enough already. She needed to keep trusting him. The more scared she became, the shorter that rope of trust became. He needed her to keep her faith in him, if only for a couple days more.

She would have to settle for half-truths for now. He'd tell her everything later, if he had the chance.

"I... I've done some bad things, (Y/N)," he started, his voice quiet. This was the most he'd ever spoken about anything from before. "A lot of things 'm not proud of and wish I could take back. When I was able to stop doing those things and leave, there's been people who have been looking for me since. They're not happy I left, and they're willing to hurt you or I to get me to go back."

Harry didn't need to look at her to know her eyes were stitched to his face. The air felt heavy between them.

A moment passed before he heard her voice again. "Harry?" Her voice shook around his name.

Chancing a look in her direction, Harry found her looking just as shaken as when he barged into her house in the middle of the night less than a week ago. He was taken back to the lowlight of the gas station, her hands wrapped in his as she pleaded with him for any kind of comfort.

He told her again what he had said then: "I promise you're going to be okay, (Y/N). 'M going to make sure of that. You're going to go home after this and everything is going to be fine."

Whatever she saw when she looked at him, or heard when she listened to him, caused a sparkling of tears to push into her eyes. Her waterline glittered, her bottom lip wobbled. She hadn't cried since that first night.

Harry dropped his gaze, his eyes falling to his lap. He wanted nothing more than to do what she had done for him the night before, wrapping her in his arms and shushing her, telling her everything she needed to hear to feel better. But, how was he supposed to do that when he was the reason for her tears? He didn't deserve to be the one to make her happy.

Running a heady hand through his hand and a heavy breath filling his lungs, he glanced at her through his lashes. "'M going to get y'something to eat, okay? I'll be right back."

With that, he forced himself out of the car, walking in the direction of the first restaurant he saw.

By the time he came back with a paper bag and warm food, (Y/N) stopped crying, the only evidence being in the sparkling tracks on her cheeks. She didn't say anything more.

—————

(Y/N) startled in her spot when Harry pushed open the bathroom door after his shower. She'd been jumpy ever since the incident in the car, but no matter how many times he saw her skittish reactions, it didn't make it easier on those parts of him that hadn't steeled through.

"Sorry," he told her, tossing his used towel over the shower rod. His movements felt stiff even with the steam softening his skin. The tense that had strangled his muscles while in the driver's seat still hadn't worn off.

"It's okay," she breathed out, settling once more with her own damp hair being twisted over her shoulder. A nervous habit he'd seen her pick up recently; she worried the ends of her hair the same way he plucked at his cuticles.

He felt her eyes on him as he moved towards his duffle, the bundle of clothes inside being reshuffled as he tried to fit the day's outfit into the limited space. While he brought a little more than (Y/N), he was getting low on spare clothing that was clean enough to wear. They couldn't keep running like this for much longer, even if Harry didn't have much of a plan outside of the open road.

It'd been long enough of a day, he decided, now wasn't the time to be rehashing his strategy. He just needed to get through the night. He'd figure something out tomorrow, maybe.

"We'll leave in the morning after y'wake up, alright?" he told her, zipping his bag closed with his back facing her, "I want you to sleep as much as we can before we head out."

(Y/N) didn't offer more than a hum of acknowledgement, though he didn't expect anything else. She'd been quiet since he gave her his story of limited truth. She was almost as quiet as him at this point. It was unsettling; Harry didn't like the quiet side of her. All he wanted was to sleep now—maybe she'd wake up different. That was all he could ask.

With the day washed off his body and damp curls beginning to dry against his neck, he plucked the spare sheet he'd already taken from the linen closet while (Y/N) had been showering. He made the familiar palette on the floor at the foot of the bed, this motel's armchair not looking particularly comfortable for even the few hours that he'd manage to squeeze in some sleep.

It wasn't until he started folding a hoodie of his up to make a pillow did he hear (Y/N)'s voice again: "Harry?"

"Hm?"

A beat passed, Harry able to visualize her plucking at the ends of her hair like he was sure she was doing behind him.

"Will you... Could you lay up here with me tonight?"

His lips thinned. She made this argument almost every night she wasn't tired enough to let it go. "'M fine on the floor, (Y/N), okay?"

A moment passed with the sound of a shaky breath falling from her lips. "No, I mean... I'm scared. Today was a lot, and I-I don't really want to be alone tonight." She paused once more, her voice thinning. "Since you can't tell me everything yet, please just let me have this."

Turning to face her, his bed abandoned, Harry saw watery eyes looking up at him from where she sat on the bed. Her fingers were twisted in a rogue strand of hair, the strands being worried around her digit, the slightest tremor being shown. The pits and cracks he had poorly filled in the walls around himself began to feel those tremors like earthquakes.

Despite the pit in his stomach that formed every time he remembered those photos of them wrapped around one another in her kitchen—the evidence that was being used to prosecute her on his behalf—he didn't think he could stand there and deny her of anything when she looked at him like that. She didn't deserve to marinate in her fear. She wasn't like him. She couldn't turn things off like he could—pretend he didn't have feelings or worries or anything worth feeling anything over.

It wasn't fair to punish her even more just because he didn't trust himself to keep her safe, even with her wrapped in his arms.

If this was what she needed to feel safe, he was going to try.

The nod he gave her was silent. Her own quiet smile that bloomed over her lips was more than enough to strengthen his faith in his choice.

Her eyes were stitched to him as he crawled upon her bed. His movements were slow, cautious with his fists sinking into the lumpy mattress, thin duvet cover wrinkling under his touch. (Y/N) offered him a space beside her as she lifted the edge of her personal blanket up for him, an invitation into the cot he made for her every night. Her warmth could be felt against him as he found his space beside her—but not too close. He could smell the scent of her lotion when the fleecy blanket fluttered atop him.

While it wasn't his first choice, his only option was the beaten pillow at the head of the bed to rest on. Before anymore more than a few strands of hair could brush the questionable fabric, (Y/N) stopped him.

"Wait, we can share," she told him, pushing her own pillows in his direction.

Harry hesitated, blinking as he looked at her. How close could he tolerate before those walls were erected once more to keep her out?

"Please?" was her gentle plea.

She had to know what she was doing, he thought. She had to know that he wasn't able to say no to her when she did that—when she spoke to him so softly, looking at him with those eyes he hadn't been able to stop thinking about since that first night under the fluorescents. She had to know what she was doing to him.

"Okay," he relented, his voice a soft croon between them. Maybe there were more than just cracks in his resolve; chasms just big enough to fit her through, it seemed.

Laying down, Harry felt stiff despite the soft accommodations. Her pillow cushioned his head, a burst of perfume leaving the fabric every time he adjusted his position, her blanket around his form with that same smell weaved through the fibers. He'd never shared a bed with someone before, at least not like this. Never for just sleep, or under such stiff circumstances.

With his back flat against the mattress, he kept his eyes facing the ceiling. He didn't drift his gaze from the texture of the drywall, even when he could feel (Y/N) looking at him from where shelled on her side. The best he could do was shutter his eyes as if he really had any chance of sleeping tonight.

Harry had counted his breaths up to forty-five before he heard his name wrapped in her voice, a quiet call in the dark.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Are you okay?"

He paused in his thoughts then. That wasn't the kind of question he had been anticipating. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. "Yes."

When she didn't say anything more, Harry chanced a blink of his eyes to open his lids. Turning to look at her, his cheek to the pillow, he found her facing him with those glittery eyes. Every time it looked like one of those glitters wobbled too close to the edge, she gave a fluttering blink to rein it back in.

"Are you?" he pressed.

Watching, he saw her twist the position of her blanket in her grip. "I'm scared."

"I know," he told her, the words floating on a deep breath, "'M sorry, (Y/N)."

Her own lungs shuddered as she tried to mimic his breathing. "It's n-not your fault."

"Yes, it is," he countered, tone firm, "And, 'm sorry for that. I really am."

She didn't bother pushing the subject, just rejecting his fault once more with a shake of her head. Her eyes drifted down from his face, following the line of his form to the broad of his shoulders and planes of his chest. She swallowed.

"Can I... I mean, would it be okay if it...?" She floundered around her words, her gaze flicking from his eyes and to his chest once more as she carefully wiggled over the bed an inch closer to him.

Seeing her become so shy, Harry thought it was a wonder he couldn't feel the heat bubbling behind her cheeks as she tried to speak to him. He really was weak when it came to her, he decided.

He wasn't going to make her spell it out for him, even if he did think it was a bit cute that this was the kind of stuff that had her clamming up.

"C'mere, 's alright," he told her, shifting to open his arm up for her to slip against his side.

A breath of relief fell from her mouth. She didn't waste any time before she was sidling up beside him. Her hands that had been worrying the threads of her blanket were now twined in the fabric of his shirt. The worst part was the way she nosed at his chest, snuggling close to him. She really did trust that he would keep her safe.

He really thought he was doing the right thing, keeping her at such a distance. She didn't even know why they were on the run or what kind of situation she'd been dragged into, but Harry never thought this kind of comfort would be the thing to thaw out the parts of her that were beginning to freeze. He wished he was a better man—a better person—so he wouldn't feel so much guilt giving her something she wanted; so he wouldn't feel like he didn't deserve the way she had so easily melted into him.

Quiet puffs of air fanned across his chest as she laid on him. "How much longer?" she whispered.

He knew what she meant. Bringing his arm down from where he had it laid across the pillows above them, he wrapped it around her and tightened her against his side. "I don't know."

She sounded so tired when she spoke again. "Okay."

God, he didn't deserve her trust. He didn't deserve her.

As they laid together, (Y/N) falling asleep before him with her hands still fisted in his shirt, Harry knew that if he wasn't so wrapped up in his own brain and hadn't cut his feelings off, he would have cried himself to sleep.

—————

Sunlight streamed through the curtains Harry hadn't realized he'd left open the night before. He woke in bed alone, his arm still curled around an empty space that was still warm from a soft body. He never slept later than (Y/N). He didn't even know if he'd had any dreams.

That was when the first bang on the door arrived.

Everything changed in that second. Harry swore his limbs stopped working the second the sound waves traveled through the motel room. He didn't know where (Y/N) was, and now the past was here to catch up with him.

Words were shouted through the door—familiar voices that were reduced to nothing more than droning calls. He couldn't focus on what they were saying when he felt his heart in his throat. His arms wouldn't move. How was he supposed to get out of bed and try to find (Y/N) if he couldn't move?

Where was she?

Only moments later, those bangs and voices on the other side of the door joined him in the motel room. That was how he figured he was the only person stuck with lethargic limbs. The door was broken down like it was nothing with a swift kick and a heavy fist.

Guns were the first things he saw when they entered. The guns lead to burly arms, tattoos he knew too well, and men he had left in a past life. These were the ones he thought he had taken care of when he ran away all that time ago, but now they were here to avenge him themselves. He couldn't pick out individual heartbeats anymore, the paces feeling like a constant stream as he looked at his past.

The instincts Harry expected to take over never came, even when heavy boots stomped over (Y/N)'s duffle bag left open on the floor.

It was then that (Y/N) made her appearance. Stepping out of the bathroom, she looked just like the day he'd first met her. That same cardigan and bow he didn't know she'd packed were adorning her body, bright eyes that he swore he had almost memorized under those grocery store lights now looking wild.

(Y/N) screamed when she realized what was going on. The sound drowned out the beat of his heart.

The men seemed to have grown bigger, looking huge beside (Y/N). Especially when one reached out and grabbed her.

The barrel of a gun was pressed to the side of her head, a heavy forearm crushing against her windpipe. The force cut off every scream she tried to let out.

Harry laid there, limbs too heavy to even throw the blanket off of him. He watched as (Y/N) cried with tears running rivers down her cheeks.

"(Y/N)!" he instinctively shouted.

Two thick voices began talking again. Every word was like mush to Harry's ears. He only heard the bits where they promised they were going to kill her. All because of him.

"H-Harry, pleas-se help m-me," she choked out, the only clear thing he could pick out in the moment.

He tried so hard to wretch his limbs from the mattress, will the cement out of his veins, shake off the dredge of whatever it was that was keeping him down. He did everything he could, just short of actually moving and helping her. What kind of protector was he? Paralyzed by fear.

(Y/N) cried harder looking at him, clawing at the arm on her neck and kicking her legs against the giants around her. She locked eyes with him, caning her head as oceans swam around her irises.

"Why did you let this happen to me, Harry?"

A gunshot sounded.

All at once, the world came rushing back to Harry.

The motel was still dark as he forced his eyes open, a harsh breath filling his lungs. (Y/N) hovered above him with sad eyes he just saw in his dream.

That sharp gasp he took gave way to a heady sob, the crack in his breathing matching whatever broke inside him during his nightmare.

She's okay. He thought she was dead, and hated him, but here she is. She looked at him with concern and care, and everything he wished he could dream of with her.

Harry didn't hesitate before he was reaching up, cradling her face in his hands. Her cheeks were warm under his palms, bottom lashes tickling the tips of his thumbs as he brushed the pads over her soft under eyes. Tears he hadn't realized he was harboring trickled down his temples, falling into his hair as he looked at her.

"You're okay," he whispered, the words scraping his throat, "fuck, you're okay."

He couldn't help himself, mumbling over and over the fact that she was okay and here with him. He traced each of her features, feeling her warmth and every tiny movement of the muscles under his hands. She's alive, and she's looking at him, and she trusts him, and she's letting him touch her, and god, she's here.

"'M so sorry," he sobbed, his thumb cataloging the height of her cheekbone, "Pl-Please, don't hate me, 'm so s-sorry."

She had let him have his fun until then, allowing him to touch and mould her all her wanted. The second his apologies began to spout from his mouth, she reached her own hand out and pressed hair out of his face. She soothed him with small touches over his own face, wiping tears away and petting his hair back. She settled with a palm against his chest, her softened eyes now with creases between the brows as she looked down at him.

"I don't hate you," she told him, whispering an earnest promise, "It's okay, Harry. I'm not mad, it was just a dream."

He only shook his head. That wasn't the point. She didn't understand. "'M so sorry, 'm so sorry, (Y/N)," he babbled, his words thick on his tongue.

Harry wanted to say more, apologize more, tell her that she didn't understand all the things he was sorry for. He wanted to tell her everything, but all of that fell to the wayside when another sob ripped across his chest. He couldn't keep it together when she looked at him like that; when she so much as blinked or twitched her nose, that was how he swore this was real. She was alive and that was the proof that made sense in his brain.

Dropping his hands from her cheeks, he instead wrapped his arms around her and brought her to his chest. He cried as he felt her hands bundle his shirt in her fists, her small reciprocation of his clumsy hug. Her face was pressed against the column of his throat, the tip of her nose brushing against his skin and her heat melting against his own. He held her tighter when he felt her chest expand with a breath, his nose pressing into the crown of her head.

She was breathing. She had a beating heart. She could move, think, see, hear. She was real.

"You're okay," he sighed, his words barely a whisper.

(Y/N) nodded, the movement felt against his throat. He forced himself to breathe so he could hear her speak.

"I'm okay, I'm here," she reassured him, lips grazing his skin, "You've got me."

"I've got you," he repeated, voice shaking with eyes shut tight.

He could feel her smile against his neck. Another round of tears fell from his eyes. He liked knowing she was happy.

"You're keeping me safe, Harry. Thank you," she murmured to him.

A bubbling sob shook her where she laid on his chest. "'M keeping y'safe,” he parroted, his heart easing every time she fed him lines.

"I trust you."

Another deep breath, a tear following the line of his nose and sinking into her hair. "You trust me."

(Y/N) fell silent then, comforting him through touch alone as he came down on his own. The weight of her on his body worked to soothe him, evening his breathing as he didn't want to bother her with the racking sobs.

The longer he stayed on earth, the less real his dream became in his mind. He saw the real motel around him, saw the sliver of the night sky through the split in the curtains, saw the door tight on its hinges. He pulsed his arms around (Y/N) once more. That was the most important dose of reality.

In his better brain, he knew he needed to separate himself from her—that was the smart thing to do. He'd done too much tonight, taken too much when he laid up there with her in hopes of comforting her, not the other way around. But this was different even than the past time she'd saved him from a nightmare. How was he supposed to reject her hold, go back to feeling the chill of the room when he knew what it was like to have her pasted on him and telling him just how much he was helping her?

He knew there was nothing in him that deserved this comfort, deserved this woman, deserved any bit of the warmth he was feeling bloom in his chest. He knew that. But, god, did he wish he did.

If this was how he would get it, the loophole in the contract, he'd take it with both hands.

He hugged her even after his eyes fell closed and breathing evened out.

—————

the lovage herb represents strength; going forward despite the past.

this is a long one w lots happening!!! I really hope yu guys are liking the story only a couple of parts left! thank y sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and if you have any ideas or requests for anything lmk!

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billioneera · 1 year

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likedovesinthewindd · 1 year

Note

Request for reader taking Rues place in s1 ep2 when mouse pays a visit to Fez

ofc, hope you like!

fezco x fem!reader (season one ep 02: stuntin' like my daddy)

warning: drug use/abuse, coercion, violence, swearing, slight sexual language, mentions of overdosing, after effects of naloxone (narcan) and fentanyl like nausea, urinary retention, drowsiness.

wc: ±2465

a/n: requests welcome!

gif not mine, all credit to original creator.

The only time you'd ever really see Fez at a party was if he was dealing. He wasn't one who really enjoyed going out or being around a lot of people, but parties were one of the fastest ways to sell his shit, and a guy's gotta eat. On the days he had all to himself, he'd often be at home doing nothing.

The only thing he enjoyed more than relaxing at home, was relaxing at home with you. You seemed to have that effect on him; he enjoyed doing things more when you were around. He'd take you shopping because he knew you'd buy actual food and not just any random stuff with no nutritional value. He'd take you with him on random night drives through the city because you had the best playlists to listen to and he wouldn't admit it, but he secretly loved listening to the different genres of music you enjoyed. He always enjoyed having your presence around the house, and around him.

Right now, however, he really really wished you had stayed home. Not that he didn't want to see you, but he was about 5 minutes away from doing business with one of his suppliers (not one of the nicests guys either), and he didn't want to anywhere near when they arrived.

"Hold on, you can't be in here right now," he drawled nervously when he saw your wet frame enter the living room. "I just came to make you guys dinner, got everything for your favorites," you smiled as you made your way inside, placing the groceries you had bought on the kitchen table. You toed off your shoes and made your way to Fez's room. "Nah, you gotta go Y/N," he said following after you.

"Why, am I not welcome anymore?" you joked, looking through his drawers for dry clothes. You settled for a pair of old sweatpants and a t-shirt you had forgotten there, and swiftly changed.

"I'm serious, come back in a few hours but right now you gotta get the fuck up outta my house," he said seriously. You frowned at his words. Was he seriously going to kick you out in the middle of a rainstorm? "It's fucking pouring outside, Fez. I can just—"

"Nah you ain't listening, you gotta go right now before these motherfuckers come through," he interrupted you. By now you had grown irritated by his behavior. "Who are you talking about?" you asked angrily, walking past him to go sit on the couch in the living room. "My guy's boutta come through and I don't want you here when he gets here, you understand?" he said following you. Right. His guy, as in his supplier. You were on the verge of asking him what the big deal was if you just stayed out of their way for the few minutes, when his phone buzzed from the table he was previously sitting at.

You peered behind the back of the couch towards the table and then back at him. He did the same, and when your eyes met, you could see the anger mixed with fear on his face. "I could fuckin' kill you right now," he muttered before reaching for his walkie talkie. "Yo Ash, they here," he spoke into it before he started packing stacks of money into a paper bag.

By now you had grown a bit nervous at what was about to go down. Fez never allowed you to join him when he was doing any of his deals. He wanted to keep you as far away as possible from that side of his life, and right now you were about to meet one of his suppliers.

He walked over to the couch were you still sat frozen in fear, pushing his hands between the two cushions and pulling out a gun, checking to see if it was loaded. Your eyes widened before meeting his. "Look I'm serious Y/N," he said quietly, "just stay right there, keep your mouth shut and be cool. These dudes ain't fuckin' around." You could only nod in response, watching closely as he placed the gun back between the cushions.

☆☆☆☆

To say the big bald guy with the face tattoos currently standing behind you was scary, would be one hell of an understatement.

"So this your little bitch?" you heard him ask. You didn't dare turn around, nervously clasping your hands together in your lap to stop them from shaking too visibly. "Nah bruh, that's my girl," Fez subtly corrected him as the guy made his way around the back of the couch. He kneeled infront of the couch and extended his hand in greeting. "Well hello there," he said. You nervously unclasped your hands and placed one in his, which he took and kissed softly. You wanted to retract your hand from the feeling of his cold, dry lips on your skin, but you had no idea if that could potentially piss him off, and you didn't want to find out what he'd do if he got mad.

"My name is Mouse, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said. How ironic you thought, but you couldn't find anything humorous in the way his stare sent chills down your spine. When he walked away you looked over to Fez again, who was sitting right across from you. He gave you a small nod as you tried your best to calm down your racing heart.

Mouse started unpacking and naming all the diffrent drugs he had available. You tried not to look as shocked as you felt, but truth was you weren't used to all of it. Yeah your boyfriend was a drug dealer, but you didn't do drugs, and he's made it his life's mission to keep it that way You turned around and caught a glimpse of all the different bottles and pills all packed in big plastic zip lock bags.

"7750," Mouse's lackey Custer said as he finished calculating the price of everything at a quite impressive speed. Fez quickly got the paper bag with the money, throwing it to Mouse, who threw it to Custer. "Sure you don't want no Fentanyl?" he asked. "Nah man I'm cool off that shit. Too many OD's, man. I don't want the heat," Fez said calmly.

Mouse turned around to where you sat. "How about you pretty girl," he asked, "you ever tried Fentanyl?"

"No," you said quietly, still looking down at your lap. "Nah, she's good bro," Fez said as Mouse took a seat next to you on the couch and placing his arm behind you on the back of it. He used his outstretched hand to play with the loose strands of your hair. "You gonna let your boy talk for you?" he asked with a smile. You looked over at Fez, not knowing of you should answer him or not. "I don't know—"

"Don't look at him, look at me." You felt as though you might burst into flames if you did look at him. You turned your head slightly towards him, and you were met with a smile that made your stomach churn nervously. "You ever tried it?" he asked again.

"Yo forreal bruh, I don't want her fuckin' wit that shit," Fez said through a clenched jaw. You could hear the irritation and anger in his voice. Whether it was aimed at you for being here right now or at Mouse talking to you, you didn't know.

Mouse ignored Fez's talking, moving closer to you until his mouth was at your ear. "You know that feeling when you cum so hard you can't feel or hear shit?" he asked. You frowned, turning your face away from him and looking down at your lap once again. You didn't want to answer him, you didn't want to be talking to him anymore. "You like that feeling?" he added. You couldn't do anything but nod dumbly, afraid of what he might do if you ignored him.

"Well shit, you gon' love this."

Soon he was reaching for his pockets, pulling out a knife and a pouch of liquid Fentanyl, placing a small amount of the substance on the tip of the blade. He bought it closer to your face, and before you could think you were instinctively shaking your head and moving your head away from the knife.

"I don't— I don't think I should," you said softly. "What, you don't trust me?" he asked. "Yo for real man, she's good," Fez said desperately trying to diffuse the situation. He was praying that you didn't come close to that blade, he didn't want you using that shit at all. "Shut the fuck up bitch," Mouse said, still looking at you, "ain't nobody talkin' to you."

"Tell your boy I ain't talking to him right now. Tell him to shut the fuck up," he said to you. You looked over at Fez, the tears already burning behind your eyes. "C'mon don't be scared. It won't bite you." His voice bought your attention back to the blade that was still infront of your face.

"C'mon, try it."

Fez was shaking his head at you, praying that you weren't stupid enough to take up his offer. You were shaking like a leaf. You didn't know what to do, you just wanted to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

Without a second thought you placed your mouth on the tip of the knife and licked the substance off. Please don't let me die the words replayed in your head over and over and over as you felt yourself slowly and quietly slip into a diffrent state. After a while you couldn't even sit up straight anymore, and you found yourself softly falling on the couch cushion. Please don't let me die please don't let me die please don't let me die please—

"It hits quick," you heard Mouse's voice faintly as you tried desperately to hold onto some form of lucidity. Fez was watching you closely, trying to see if you were still conscious. "You like the way that feels?" he asked placing your leg over his lap. "Mhm," you managed to get out through lips that felt as heavy as concrete. "You wanna couple of patches pretty girl?" he asked and you replied with what you hoped was a yes. He got the patches from his jacket pocket and placed them beneath the waistband of your sweatpants.

"Its gon' cost you three hundred," he said to you, but looking over at Fez, "C'mon, pay up pretty girl."

"I only have like, seven dollars on me," you said, slurring your words like a drunk. "I said three hundred," Mouse repeated running his fingertips along your leg. "I bought like, groceries and shit." You could feel the drool running out your mouth and down your cheek, but it felt like your body was nailed to the couch. You felt so relaxed, so good and fuzzy that you couldn't even be bothered by the drool.

"Yo Mouse, lemme pay for it man," Fez spoke up. "I thought you was too good for Fentanyl" Mouse said with a taunting smile. "What is it, everybody changing they motherfuckin' minds on me?" he asked turning to Custer who sat on the back edge of the couch laughing.

"She can't afford it, she gon' have to find another way of paying me. Straight up," he said, now rubbing along your leg. "Ok," you replied, thinking he was still talking to you. Fez wanted nothing more than to pull out the gun from between the two cushions and shoot Mouse right there and then. He could feel himself getting angrier with every stroke of Mouse's hand along your clothed leg.

"Yo man, jus' lemme pay for it. Got the money right here."

Fez stood up from the couch, and placed three hundreds in Mouse's hand. "Damn, your boy must love you. Its gon cost you six hundred now, man."

☆☆☆☆

After Fez gave Mouse his extra money he counted the bills before standing up to leave. "It's always a pleasure doing business with you," he smiled, pushing your leg from his lap and getting up from the couch. As soon as the door closed behind him, Fez stood up, taking the Fentanyl Mouse had left on the couch and calling Ash. "Flush that shit down the toilet, and go grab the Narcan, just in case," he said placing the pouch in Ash's hand.

He went over to the couch were you were still laying quietly and motionless, your one leg still hanging off the couch. He carefully pulled it back up the couch, maneuvering it to prevent you from rolling onto your stomach, and covered your body with the small blanket that layed by the couch's end. He sat by your head on the couch, softly stroking your hair and praying that you were okay. Your eyes fluttered open when you felt his soft touch on your head. "'M sorry," you slurred, trying to keep your eyes open, to stay awake. Your breathing was irregular and soft, and you felt a dull discomfort in your chest.

"It's ok," he said softly, wiping away the layer of sweat from your forhead. "I ain't leaving you."

When Ash returned with the Narcan you were quickly given some in each nostril and after a while your breathing returned to a somewhat normal tempo. You couldn't fight the urge to sleep anymore and soon you were closing your eyes and dozing off.

☆☆☆☆

You layed in bed next to Fez feeling like absolute shit. You couldn't fall asleep. The dull pressure in your bladder and the constant nausea made it impossible to get comfortable. You turned around slowly, to find Fez laying next to you, his eyes trained on you. He hadn't left your side since your little run-in with Mouse, and had you stay with him until you felt better. He even went as far as to ask one of your friend to bring you clean clothes from your house.

"How you feelin'?" he asked, voice thick from sleep. You only shook your head no, you couldn't even find the strength to talk. "You want some' to eat?" he asked softly. The mention of food made your stomach churn uncomfortably and before you knew it you were jumping out of bed and making a beeline for the bathroom for what felt like the millionth time.

You felt Fez's hand rubbing circles into your back softly as you threw up once again. "Let it all out, baby," you heard him say softly. He knew you hated throwing up, and he hated seeing you ill, so he tried his best to give you any sort of comfort.

After you finished you flushed the toilet and wiped your mouth. The cold tiles beneath your knees and the warm press of Fez's hand against your even warmer body grounded you. "I'm sorry for taking that shit," you said through quiet sobs. You hadn't even noticed you'd been crying. "Is alright," Fez said softly. He hated seeing you cry more than anything. "You'll be alright, okay?" he said, pulling you into a hug, "I ain't going no where. Gonna look after my girl."

#fezco euphoria #fezco fanfic #fezco x you #fezco x reader #fezco fic #fezco x y/n #fezco #fez euphoria #fez x reader #fez x y/n #fez fanfic #likedovesinthewindd

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megumimania · 9 months

Text

AOT LONDON BOY HCS PT 2

featuring: reiner, onyankopon, armin

a/n: this is part two of these hcs, part one is here! thanks for tuning in its kinda rushed my bad 😪, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

ARMIN

-armin would be from islington or finchley maybe even south, but I don’t see him living in like bougie areas such as kensington or chelsea or like richmond

- him and eren went to the same primary and secondary together

-armin was literally his get out of jail free card because of his stellar reputation in academics

-he always gets free stuff from the corner shop or the chicken and chip shop

-doesn’t own a car, he either bikes or takes the tube because he cares about the environment and doesn’t want to add onto the extra pollution in london

-his dress sense is very casual like a t shirt, a pair of loose fitted trousers and some trainers but when he cant be bothered he’ll wear a tech fleece

-he has a very good sense of direction, like he knows the fastest routes for anything, like when eren and connie dragged him to carni (if you went this year im saur jealous 😩 but anyways) and it was time to get home armin found a quicker route that got them back pretty fast

-knows all the best secret spots in london for anything! which makes hanging out with him more fun because you experience a new part of london when you’re together

-he isnt a fan of eren’s scamming ways but when eren asks for help he always answers as long as he’s not a part of it

-london men i feel like are terrible with their feelings but armin is the exception, he would be very open with you about his feelings and such

-reads so much, you’ll catch him at hyde park or greenwich park reading till the sun sets

-he smokes cigarettes but he’s trying to cut it out for you

-his playlist would be very diverse since he’s been brought up in a multicultural area, like it would go from bashment, to rnb, drill to pop

-unlike his unserious counterparts *cough cough* eren and connie, he’s very loyal!

ONYANKOPON

-my ghanaian king, shoutout to my ghanaians!!

-he speaks twi so well that people forget he was brought up in the uk

-he would be from peckham or lewisham for suree, he’s deffo been dragged around by his mum round rye lane market on a saturday morning carrying that trolley with him

-he goes to a pentecostal church, he’s always leading youth service and helping out at church events.

-the aunties love him for this because he’s the perfect son that they don’t have and they just love him in general

-ony can cook and im being for real, so you guys never eat out unless ony wants to show you to a new niche restaurant somewhere

-he has snap but doesn’t have a bitmoji because he thinks it’s immature 😕 but eventually he caves and makes one because you ask him too

-hes always promoting his boys stuff whether that be music,

-he deffo went to an all boys secondary and then he went to a mixed sixth form after, he gives me those vibes

-he used to go to the library to link girls after school 😭 he had a big playboy phase but hes calmed down

-he used to be one of those people at stratford westfield trying to sell you magazines before you enter

-hes not stingy with his money, hes always spoiling the people he loves

-he has a bunch of caps and grills that he likes to rotate out weekly, he has great style

-he works in corporate london so its rare that you dont see him outside of a suit and tie but he always makes time for you

-ony is always holding your bag for dear life when you go to bait areas like oxford street or westfields or like the tourist spots because people be getting their shit stolen loool

-he loves late night tesco trips anything that he can do at night i.e late night walks, drives etc

-bossman is always giving him discounts on stuff because ony is loyal customer.

REINER

-look at that man and tell me he wouldnt be from essex tell me!! like thats pure dagenham material right there

-if you search up a typical person from essex, he would come up

-he probably owns those skintight chinos with those ugly polos with the church shoes

-he tries to downplay his accent a bit since sometimes its hard to understand him but when hes upset his accent comes through in full force

-always at spoons or at the club till early hours

-reiner gives me bricklayer vibes so thats what im gonna roll with

-when he comes home from work in summer hes like hot and sweaty but it makes his biceps glow so its kinda sexy idk

-has a bunch of tattoos, most of them are birthdays of family members and a picture of his grandma who passed away

-has a british bulldog called belle, the dog is fucking scary but reiner thinks the world of her and thinks she can do no wrong

-listens to mainly dnb, garage, techno

-downs pints at the pub like it’s nothing, he has a high alcohol tolerance

-proper geezer that’s all i have to say tbh!

#aot x reader #armin x reader #onyankopon x reader #attack on titan #aot fluff #aot headcanons #vina writes #aot reiner #aot x black!reader #black writblr #aot x black reader #armin attack on titan #armin arlert x reader #aot onyankopon #reiner braun #aot

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itsyourstarboy · 1 year

Text

Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.5

First Part

AT LONG LAST.... THE STREAMER!HONEY HEADCANONS FINALE

Note: This may be the last part, but it is not the end of Streamer!Honey!!! Just the long-winded headcanon posts. I have more planned for the future ^^ mini-fics, shitposts, all sorts of shenanigans <3

—

The punch became a meme. Honey hates it, and Guy hates that Honey hates it.

But god if it isn’t hilarious.

It took a good few months for Honey to stop beating themself up over it, and now they are able to look back on it and laugh. They even have a GIF of the moment as an alert for gifted subs.

—

Charity streams!!! Honey loves doing them. It’s fun, and for a good cause.

And, though it’s fun, sometimes it can get out of hand.

It was meant to be a joke! But, before they knew it, they hit the donation goal...

♡♡♡♡♡♡

HFDJSFEJGGFJSK

IM FREAKING OUT

CANTWAITCANTWAITCANTWAIT

I can’t believe they’re actually doing this 🤭🤭🤭

I DONT KNOW IF MY GAY LITTLE HEART WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

The sound of the door opening made chat go mostly still.

Honey, very reluctantly with an embarrassed scowl on their face, stepped into camera view.

They stood stiffly, pondering how they ended up here. Here, on stream, in front of thousands of perfect strangers...

Wearing a maid outfit.

Not even a comfortable one! It was frilly, and itchy, and the skirt was way too fucking short.

OMFGNO I FCKING CANT-

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I CANT BREATHE

OH MY GOOOOOOOD

You look so cute!!!

THIS WAS SO WORTH THE MONEY

IM WHEEZING AND I CANT FIND MY INHALERR

HSGJJFHZJAHHAHAHAH

Oh 😳😳

WHY IT LOOK KINDA GOOD THO??

[HONEY’S] TOO HOT THEY KILLED SOMEBODY

“I hate everything,” Honey muttered, as they tried to tug the dress down. It was bad enough that it was so revealing, but it also wouldn’t zip up all the way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

It would only get worse, however, as the next goal would add thigh highs.

And the one after that would add...

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING NOW

AaaaawwwWWWW WHAT A CUTE KITTY

You mean “right fucking meow?”

THEY LOOK SO PISSED LMAO

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING MEOW

They’re gonna kill us 😭😭😭😭

IM QUEER

With what? Their wittle paws?? 😽😽

This is my phone lockscreen now

Simp

“Yeah, you all better enjoy this, ‘cause I’m never doing it again.”

Doubt it, this is the fastest we’ve ever raised money

NOOOOOOOOO

Still waiting for you to say nya

NYAAAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA

ITS THE CIIIIIIIIRRRRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFEEE

“I’m not saying that.”

tf you’re not-

★someone donated $50★

SAY NYA BITCH

Honey heaved out a sigh that bordered a growl, and very blandly, “nya.”

As Chat cheered and went practically feral, Honey could only be glad that this couldn’t possibly get any wors-

They froze as they heard the Jaws theme start playing.

“Oh f-”

HE’S HEEEERE

YEEEEEEEESS

HoneysHeaven: wowah 😳

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

HOLY CRAP SOMEONE TAGGED HIM ON TWITTER 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HoneyHeaven: hey there Honey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SOMEONE SNITCHED????

Honey braced their elbows on their desk and hid their face in their hands. “Go back to working.”

HoneysHeaven: I will if you promise to still be wearing that when I get home 👀👀

“I’m burning it as soon as this stream ends.”

NOO YOU CANT BURN IT YOU LOOK SO SEXYY 😩😩

The boy just wants to see you all dolled up Boo, let him have his treat

“The next 15 minutes are going to be hell.”

HoneysHeaven: oooh the next goal you put on a collar, hm? 😏😏

Guy ur killing even me rn

OH WAIT I JUST GOT GUYS USERNAME

HoneysHeaven: Honey can you send me like $70

“I am not sending you money.”

HoneysHeaven: awww cmon 🥺🥺 my break ends in 2 minutes I just want to see you in a collar

ITS FOR CHARITY

DONATE TO THE CAUSE

“I’ll put you in a collar,” Honey grumbled with their arms crossed tightly.

HoneysHeaven: wouldn’t be the first time 😉

HOW DO WE RAISE ANOTHER 500 IN 10 MINUTES

AYO WHAT????

—

Guy likes interrupting Honey’s streams unprompted. He loves seeing the smile on their face. The gentle one that they wear while doing what they love. It makes him want to smother them in kisses.

Sometimes when he does this, he forgets about the mask and glasses. There have been plenty of times where he’s nearly accidentally exposed his face to the world, and it gives his honey a mini heart attack each time.

Honey made the executive decision to rearrange their setup so that the door was no longer in view. That way, Guy could spontaneously enter as much as he pleased.

—

Honey was still streaming when Guy returned home from work. They had told him in advance that this stream would be dragging on a bit longer than normal.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey looked up as they heard the door click open. Guy entered, waving a paper bag around.

“Honeeeey,” he sang, “I’ve brought you somethiiiiing.”

is that the boy i hear 👀👀👀

EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO WITNESS THIS

DETROIT CAN WAIT THIS IS IMPORTANT

Honey eyed the bag skeptically as Guy drew closer, “should I be worried?”

“No,” Guy laughed, stopping right outside of the camera’s view. “I brought you donuts!”

“Ooh, really? What’s your motive?”

“Wha-? Motive!? Why do you think I would have a motive?”

Honey raised an eyebrow at their boyfriend and smirked.

Immensely offended, Guy scoffed, “what, am I not allowed to bring the most important person in my life a treat? Purely out of my own volition and the kindness of my heart?”

“I was joking before, but now I’m actually suspicious...”

“Just take the donuts, Honey,” Guy softly spoke with a warm smile, holding out the bag and leaning forward.

When Honey’s hand brushed against his own, Guy leaned closer, his other hand cupping the back of their neck. He held the bag up to hide his face from viewers as he placed a gentle kiss on his partners cheek.

Honey, growing ever more flustered, let out a nervous chuckle as they pushed Guy away and accepted the gifts.

AWWWWHDWSAIHDGDKDSBIDS

ITS HAPPENING

OMG

DID HE KISS THEM??

WHERE IS THE CLIP I NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN

When you’re so lonely you’re living vicariously through someone in your screen

UH YEAH THATS THE POINT

OF COURSE

I GOT THE CLIP I GOT IT

Chat wouldn’t stop talking about it for the entire rest of the stream.

And for the next 4 streams after that...

—

Chat knows that Guy is important to Honey. No other roommate of theirs has ever become such a big part of their life, everyone knows that they have to be something more.

They stopped bugging Honey about it after a year. It's just kind of common knowledge that these two have a lot of chemistry, but asking straight up about their relationship won't work.

Not that having an answer would change anything, Chat loves seeing how happy Honey is with Guy.

—

It took a little over a year for Honey to agree, but finally they are streaming a game with Guy!!

They're playing Raft. Honey in their streaming room, and Guy in the living room. They're communicating through discord, and Chat is having a blast.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Did you finish building that engine yet?" Honey asked, filling a chest with some items.

"No, I thought you were going to do it," Guy answered.

"I literally told you to go ahead and make one two minutes ago!"

"I was busy distracting the shark while you were scavenging all that shit underwater!"

We should get them couples counciling

Guy can't keep being shark bait ooh ah ah 😭😭

I still don't understand the point of this game

It's his destiny

Raft

raft

The point is raft

RAFT

"Honey, I think I'm dying. My hunger bar is low."

"Then eat something, we have plenty of food."

"I don't think I can make it back in time," Guy whined.

"Wh- where are you??"

You could practically hear Guy's pout, "I went back on the island because you were mad at me."

"I am not mad at you," Honey responded, exasperated, "where are you at on the island?"

"Uhmm... I'm in a place with lots of trees."

"Okay, I'm bringing you some shark meat."

"The shark is dead?"

"Yeah I killed it."

[HONEY] MOVE FASTER WE CANT LET HIM DIE

They are playing the game so wrong I am ripping my hair out

Tip: multiple sails will make you go faster

They can play however they want to 😡

The only right way to do anything is the [Honey] and Guy way

"Oh shi-" Guy started, "I'm dead."

"You're fiiine."

"No, my character just collapsed from hunger."

"Don't be dramatic, I'm almost there."

"I'm not being dramatic!! I died!!!"

"A little death never killed anybody."

Honey found Guy's character, limp on the ground, and picked him up.

"Alright, you big baby, I'll take you to the bed."

"Oooooh," Guy sang impishly, "you're carrying me to bed?"

"Yep."

"What are you gonna do with me once we get there?"

"When we get there, you are gonna build that goddamn engine!"

Upon arrival to the raft, Honey discovered something...

"Where the fuck is the bed??"

Guy coughed out a laugh, "oh, uhm- I might've taken it with me when I left."

"Why would you do that!?!?"

"Because you were mad at me!!!"

"I swear to god-" Honey dropped Guy's carcass on the raft and went to collect materials to make another bed.

"Honeeeeey," Guy whined, "this wooden floor is hard."

Honey sighed, "I'm making you a bed, hold on."

"Come lay underneath meeee."

AGDKSGAKBFK

Boi he wants them under him 👀👀

Can't believe they let Guy die, I'll never forgive them for this 😢🤧😖 /lh /j

Our boy really stepped up his flirting game 😳😳😳

Too bad [Honey] is too oblivious

They're not oblivious, they're an asshole

A distinct sound of sharp teeth chomping into their hard work caught Honey's attention.

"Fuckin' hell," they murmured, "the stupid shark is back."

"Hurry up making the bed and I can kill it," Guy offered.

"I thought you were making the bed," Honey retorted.

Guy scoffed, "Honey!!!!"

"I gotta stab the shark, hold on."

Cold blooded

Yeah

They don't deserve Guy I'm gonna kidnap him

That shark is an endangered species!!!

DoNT YOU DARE GUYNAP OUR BELOVED BOY

Finally, finally, Honey returned and placed Guy's character on the bed. He sprang up immediately.

Guy's cheerful voice started up, "yayyy, thank you Hone-" and was cut off with a yelp.

The shark had glitched through the bottom of the raft and attack Guy. It scared him half to death, but Honey?

Honey was laughing hysterically.

And it was music to Guy's ears.

Gasping for breath, they kept trying to say something, but continuously fell into a fit of giggles.

Guy was barely able to form his own words without laughing, trying to feign offense at his honey's joy in seeing him hurt. But hearing them laugh so heartily? He couldn't help but melt.

And he didn't want to just hear it, he wanted to see it.

"I'm coming to get you, Honey!" He announced, just before darting towards their room.

"No, no no!" They tried to object, but it was too late as Guy came bursting in.

They were in his arms and on the floor in an instant, tears streaming down their face as they tried to breathe.

Their face hurt from smiling, and they tried to calm down, but as soon as their breathing slowed Guy started to tickle them.

"Guy-! No!! Stop it!" They squealed and squirmed, but to no avail. Their previous laughing fit left them exhausted.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel like we shouldn't be watching this

HES SO CUTE????

GUY FACE REVEAL!!!!!

EVERYONE SHIELD YOUR EYES

TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES THIS IS ILLEGAL

Wait I think I've seen him before!

When all settled down, Guy and Honey were nothing but a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, just barely out of frame.

"I love you, Honey," he said softly.

Honey smiled, "I love you too."

—

When the couple realized that Guy was no longer anonymous, Honey made him start carrying pepper spray while he worked.

Gotta keep the boy safe.

The End.

A/N: Thank you for reading the Streamer!Honey series ♡ I've loved writing it, and it makes me so happy that you all loved it as well!

#redacted streamer!honey #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted guy #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #redacted writing #redacted au #the person that recognized guy may or may not have been asher #peep the W2H reference

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nezumeanie · 1 year

Text

obey me c a s u a l t o u c h ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

no warnings | gn!mc | not proofread <_<

♢ in the hustle and bustle of the devildom on the weekends, you always find yourself pushing through crowds in the street markets to buy groceries for the week. after being bumped into for the umpteenth time, you decide to let your step fall behind lucifer’s, that way if you were to be separated you could still see his large head above the crowd and make your way back to him. sensing your presence move from beside him, lucifer stops walking turning to look at you. “make sure not to get lost” he puts a light hand on the small of your back to guide you in front of him as to not lose sight of you. occasionally, you’ll feel his hands on your shoulders moving you forward without letting you stray from him.

♢ you and mammon sit shoulder to shoulder staring at the black screen of his ddd. there wasn’t any reason to be nervous, but mammon was anxiously awaiting to hear from his agent if he had booked a new gig—an small role in a new d-drama. the acclamation was one thing, the money another, mammon hadn’t stopped talking abt it since his audition. finally his screen lit up: an email notification. he opened it slowly and yelled “we did it!!! we did it! oh man, you’re my good luck charm we gonna be so rich!!!!” he threw his arms around you and jumped in a circle, mammon’s happiness is your happiness as well.

♢ in front of the computer screen, one hand on the mouse other on the keyboard, levi kept giving you directions on where to go and what to do even though he said he would let you play the game yourself. “wait, wait if you turn around and walk through tht wall there’s a secret cave full of ss grade items! no, no turn around argh” he puts his hand on your shoulder and points in the opposite direction in which you were moving “literally it’s a wall covered in vines. i found it on accident my seventeenth time playing through it hahahah that was the round i completed the fastest…” his story is much harder to follow when his voice is this close to you, but you never want to miss his words.

♢ many food ingredients in the devildom remind you of things you can find back home in the human realm, so you decide to try and recreate a meal you already know. while stirring the pot, you feel someone approach you from behind “hmm? what is it that you’re making?” it’s satan it’s his head titled to the side. he had placed his hand on the counter trapping your waist between himself and the stove, his other hand placed on his hip in curiosity. his fingers tapped on the marble, his eyebrows furrowed and unfurrowed. you dipped the spoon in and brought it to his lips to taste.

♢ there were so many formal events held at diavolo’s castle you began wondering if it really was so imperative that you and everyone had to attend every single one. racing down the hallway, you hear asmo’s voice “oii your tag is sticking out. sigh, come here, come here!” you stop in your tracks, your hands shooting to the back of your formal attire. you can hear asmo chuckling. “let me see〜” one hand gracefully touches your side, the other you feel down your collar tucking your tag back into place. “this is perfect timing,” he says from behind you, “i need someone to help me zip my dress♪”

♢ without you asking, beel takes bottle from you hand and twists the lid off for you. “humans are so fragile” he mentions and hands it back to you, not tht you needed his help to open a bottle of raspberry juice. with that thought in mind, you managed to spilled some down your chin. are you a child? beel chuckles to himself, putting one hand on the top of your head, the other takes out a handkerchief and wipes it off for you. punctuating his handiwork with a head rub he adds “humans are so clumsy, too.” you drink your juice more carefully this time.

♢ a new cafe was opening downtown! the first hundred patrons would receive a mystery prize and a free parfait topping! while scrolling devilgram you saw the post and called belphie over to look. he places his head on your shoulder to look over your shoulder at your phone. “ah, im pretty sure that’s the same place i was talking to you about last week? when i said we should eat a strawberry parfait together” he lazily drapes his arm around your shoulder. though, you’re sure he did not ask you to eat desert together, maybe he had dreamt about it.

#sheesh i think this took a long time?#things written #obey me #obey me! shall we date?#obm #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obm lucifer #obm mammon #obm leviathan #obm satan #obm asmodeus #obm beelzebub #obm belphegor #obey me! x reader #obey me fanfic #im not sure how 2 tag haha

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starsomens · 2 months

Note

Okay but CEO Noah who comes home after a long day at work and you guys just hang out and like take a bath together and cuddle in bed and it’s all just so fluffy and intimate and complete opposite of him at work and I-

I really need to work on portraying someone who’s like mean and intimidating…HERE WE GO

at work…

first off a small tour here is the (left) meet room and (right) his personal office

2 or the scariest place in his building if you’re an employee 😃

You’re either in his office because he did something right and he just needs to follow up or you did something wrong and this is most likely your last day. He has only given one employee another chance after they fucked up, but after that, he basically never did it again.

Now in the meeting room,

Any kind of big changes, or issues are spoken of here now you know what usually doesn’t let these things get to him, but there were a few occasions where things started to go downhill pretty fast and he was pretty pissed off because he had an entire team to take care of this!

May seem like money and luxury, money, is usually what comes to peoples minds when they see or think of Mr. Noah Sebastian.

However, once he’s out of the office and he steps into his car to go home, he immediately calls you and tells you he’s on his way home

Sometimes he really thought of all of this was worth the migraines. He’d get every now and then. However he did over the years to deal with it and let it get to him, at least in the moment.

What was scary about Noah is that you couldn’t tell if he was upset or not. And if you are wondering, yes, he does hit his employees with the good old, I’m not angry just disappointed. Because it’s true the reason he gets disappointed is because he hired his employees to do tasks and specific jobs and if they don’t meet those requirements, why the hell did he hire them??

I said before this job can be very stressful. Some nights spent an extra four hours at work just to get some things covered other nights instead of going straight home to go to an event after Or to a business to talk about agreements

When there are days when things go in order or he at least didn’t have to stay extra hours after work, he got to go home. It was the best part of his day for you to hug him and give him a kiss to make of the melt.

This man kind of becomes a baby because he really does try to take the fastest way home so that he can be in your arms sooner

Now he used to live in a condo and had a shower and after you guys moved in together He made sure to find another place with a bathtub in it. Why? Nothing like being in a nice warm bath with you.

He has two glasses of champagne set up, some chocolates and yes, he always puts fresh flowers on the sink mostly for you. You guys will stay there until the bathwater gets cold.

Afterwards, go to do your skin care while you talk about your day. Now, why was this relaxing to Noah ? hearing day was a lot more relaxing than thinking about his

While you’re putting on his sheet mask, he tell him how it’s gonna help him reduce the final lines of his stressful day and he can’t help with smile at you with how much love and care you put in his skin

You give him his multivitamin as well and make sure you drink water

While your masks sit you guys put on a bad reality TV show and enjoy yourselves with a nice bowl of your favorite snack

Billionaire CEO Sebastian likes to watch bad reality TV with his wife. And if he was honest, he quite enjoyed it.

When you guys sat together together, he made sure to have you either in his lap or between his legs where you can just relax and rest.

One of the more soothing things that he loved about this was that he can feel when you’re breathing slows down and you had fallen asleep. You were honestly source of distressing for him. Just your presence made him feel so much more calm once he felt like he didn’t have an entire entire company on his shoulders.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #star’s anons✨#noahsebastian #badomens #ceo noah sebastian

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sixpennydame · 8 months

Text

The Better Man, Chapter 8

Previous chapter | Epilogue | Series Masterlist

Read in AO3 here

Content/warnings: alcohol consumption, child abuse and neglect, mentions of death.

A/N: This is it..the final chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, and reblogged this fic. I hope you've enjoyed all the angst and drama!

There will be a final epilogue coming out next week.

Suggested music:

There’s not a sound around you as you walk through the dark, quiet streets of Trost, still too early for even the bakers and butchers to start their morning shifts. There was no way for you to get a hold of Lars’ horse, so you had to find other ways to get out of the city without Levi tracking you.

You knew he’d search for you.

If you can just get further into Wall Rose, you can make a new life. You’ve done it before.

When Levi said he wouldn’t leave the Survey Corps, you knew in your heart that being together - truly together - was just a dream. You couldn’t watch him go through that gate, wondering if he would ever return. The pain of losing someone again - the fear of losing their bodies or minds to the trauma - you’re not sure you can do it again.

And so this time, you left first.

You’d packed only a few change of clothes in a small pack, along with all the money and valuables you and Lars had.

All except one.

The simple gold band reminded you of the life you no longer had, of the love that was no longer with you. And so you’d left it on the table of your small home with the rent for the remainder of the month and a small letter explaining your departure to your landlady. You’d left nothing for Levi. What good would a letter do?

The easiest and fastest way out of Trost is the ferry that travels along the river, but if you do that, there would be a record of your departure. It wasn’t easy to find an alternative, but you were an Underground rat; your instincts helped you find a smuggler sneaking goods out of the city who was willing to smuggle you out as well. You hand him the payment and step onto the boat, holding the hood of your cape as close to your face as possible.

“You must be pretty desperate not to be found, if you’re leaving like this,” he snickers, but you huddle up closer in a corner, pulling your knees close to you and trying not to think of the hurt and anger in Levi’s eyes when he finds that you are gone.

“Levi…I’m sorry…” you whisper to no one but yourself.

——

After your disappearance, Levi spent the rest of the week in a rage to find you. He searched every women’s boarding house, every small, forgotten apartment. He checked the ferry and stables for any woman leaving Trost fitting your description. As he searched for you, his heart and mind struggled to understand why - why you would leave, just as your lives could have started again. Had the moment you’d shared together just been a dream? Were the two of you destined to always be apart?

No, Levi didn’t believe that. He creates his own destiny, his own future. And he wants to share that with you. He doesn’t know why you ran away - maybe you’re scared - but he does know that he’ll search every goddamn town in this goddamn, walled world until he finds you.

But every day, every possible lead, gets him no closer from the truth of where you are. Since his search started, he’s barely slept, barely ate, and barely even been to Survey Corp Headquarters. He’s tasked Eld with keeping up the squad’s daily training routine, and although the team doesn’t question his actions, they know it’s only a matter of time until his absences will be noticed by more than just them.

Namely, Erwin.

Levi rides into headquarters disheveled and in a rush. After searching Trost with no sign of you, he suspects that you’ve somehow gotten out of the city undetected and have moved somewhere else within Wall Rose. Although you’re resourceful, he knows it’s not possible for you to have gotten very far with the limited funds you had, and if he leaves now, he just might be able to find some kind of clue in a neighboring town. He stables his horse and goes straight to his room, ignoring any and all corpsmen he passes by. As he packs a small bag, he hears a knock on the door. He ignores it, but the person behind it enters anyway.

“You’re squad tells me you’ve been busy lately,” the baritone voice remarks as the door clicks closed.

“Yeah,” he doesn’t even stop to look at Erwin standing against the doorframe, his arms crossed at his chest, “I have some personal issues to take care of. I’ll be gone for a few days.”

“You know there are certain procedures in place to request leave, Levi.”

“And I don’t have time for that bullshit right now, Erwin.”

“As apt as I am to let you have your way most days, I’m afraid I have to refuse this time.” His gaze was cold, serious.

Levi met his gaze with his own, his stormy grey eyes boring straight into him.

“We have an expedition in two days. Surely you didn’t forget.”

There’s only silence while Levi buckles his pack and slings it over his shoulder. “Eld can lead the squad in my absence. He’s more than capable.” He moves towards the door which Erwin is blocking. “Now get out of my way.”

“I can’t do that.” Erwin stands up straighter, his broad shoulders blocking the way entirely. “You made a commitment to the Corps and to your squad.”

“This is important.”

“More important than the lives of your squad, your comrades in arms?”

“Yes,” Levi replies sternly.

“I know that’s not true.”

Erwin’s right. The lives of the Corps weigh heavily on Levi. He knows the fate of many of them rests in his skill and expertise. His absence could mean many more lives will be lost. Lives like Lars’.

His heart waivers for a moment, torn between his duty and the urgency of finding you. He has to find you. “I have to do this,” he says. “Now move.” When Erwin doesn’t budge, Levi grabs the lapels of his jacket, jerking him down to face him. “I could easily force my way out of here, you know.”

“And you would be charged with attacking your superior officer and punished accordingly,” Erwin answers bluntly. “You’d be held in the brig until a punishment was decided.”

A few seconds pass as both men stare each other down. Then Levi lets go of his lapels and pushes him against the door. He drops his pack on the floor with a heavy thud.

“Fine. Have it your way.” His eyes darken with murderous contempt.

But Erwin doesn’t flinch, only straightening his jacket. “The 104th Cadet Corps is in Trost. When we return from the expedition, we’ll be enlisting new recruits and you can take leave at that time.” He turns his back on Levi as he opens the door. “Now we both have an expedition preparation meeting to get to.”

This bastard…

Levi straightens his ascot, takes a breath, and follows Erwin down the hall to the meeting room.

Two days later, The Survey Corps rides through Trost, to the usual fanfare. It irritates Levi, how fickle the crowd can be: loving them and singing their praises one moment, then cursing them the next. He can hear people talking about him. Fuck, he hates that.

But he looks out into the crowd, hoping you’ll be there, that you’re trying to catch his eye.

“Who ya lookin’ for?” Hange asks, riding beside him.

He snaps his head forward. “Nobody, Four-eyes.”

He’s going to hold Erwin to his promise. After this expedition, he’s leaving Trost to look for you. Nothing and no one is going to stop him.

——

“Levi!” You yell out, jolting up from your bed.

It’s been the same bad dream the last few weeks since you left Trost, much like the bad dreams you had after Levi rescued you from that brothel so many years ago. But instead of hands grabbing you and clawing at your flesh, it’s titan hands grabbing at Levi and pulling him away from you. You just can’t shake this dark feeling of danger, like something bad is going to happen soon.

Like something is going to happen to Levi.

You wipe your sleepy eyes and find that you’d been crying, something you’ve refused to allow yourself to do since Lars’ death, in an attempt to build that wall up around your heart again. But in the loneliness of the night, your dreams reveal your true self.

The sun is just starting to rise over the wall surrounding Karaness. You’re not really sure why you decided to stop here, in your attempt to evade Levi; it seemed far enough, and you were so tired of hitchhiking. You ended up settling just outside the main part of the district. You’d had enough of walls on all four sides of you. Of being caged in.

And yet.

Your mind had often told you to return to The Underground. That maybe that was the place you truly deserved. You could sneak into Mitras and go back. Although impossible to escape, nobody would think twice if someone wanted to return there; in fact, they'd probably think you’re crazy.

But you couldn’t do it. Levi had sacrificed too much to get you here. You knew he was better off without you, but to go back to that place would be an offense to everything he’s done thus far. He’d told you that he let you go because he thought that was the best for you; that he didn’t deserve you.

Did he understand that your leaving was for the very same reason? Had he realized that and given up looking for you by now?

You got dressed and headed for your job at the local tavern. You never thought you’d be working at a place like this again, but there were no other options. It seems like there are some things you just can’t escape, no matter how hard you try.

As you wipe down the bar and tend to the customers, someone barges through the door.

“Trost has been attacked! That Colossal Titan reappeared and kicked a hole through the wall. It’s five years ago all over again!”

Everyone runs outside, as if expecting to see titans on their own doorstep. Raised voices and chaos are only amplified as the Garrison forces begin moving into the inner, walled district of Karaness, reinforcing both gates.

You run up to a soldier packing canon shells into a wagon to take into town. “What’s happening in Trost?”

“It’s too early to say ma’am. We’ve just been ordered to reinforce the Karaness gates until further notice.”

“But the Survey Corps…were they there? Are they fighting in Trost?” you press, desperate to know anything about Levi.

“Ma’am, I honestly don’t know. We’ve received no other updates,” his voice is stressed. “Now, please.” He gestures for you to move away from the wagon.

You know that if there was an attack on Trost, then more than likely the Corps was there, unless they were on an expedition. There’s a tightness in the pit of your stomach, fearing your dreams are coming true. You need to know if he’s alive.

No sleep comes to you that night, as you toss and turn, thinking about what might have happened to Levi and his squad. You know he’s capable of taking down any titan that crosses his path, but the Colossal Titan is not like any other titan. And if that hole isn’t closed up, then they’ll be overwhelmed with titans in a matter of days.

If Levi was dead, you’d know it, feel it somehow. He’s alive, he’s alive…

And the realization hits you: what a fool you’ve been, thinking you could leave him and all your love for him behind, as if that was a choice your heart even had. You’ve never had a choice when it came to him - even when he left, your love for him had never faded.

You need to see him and make sure he’s ok.

And so in the morning, you decide to leave for Trost.

——

Levi watches you from the back of your father’s tavern. It’s where he tends to hang out whenever Kenny leaves him for days at a time. He’s a teenager now, so being by himself isn’t too big a deal, but it still gets awfully lonely. And your presence has always filled that loneliness for him, ever since he was a boy.

Word of Levi’s newly found strength had spread throughout the Underground, and so it wasn’t usual for men and women to challenge him to various feats of strength. Tonight, it was arm wrestling, and Levi beat every last one.

“How many have you beaten tonight? Six?” You ask as you walk by his table.

“Seven, but who’s counting,” he replies dryly, as he pulls his arm across his chest, stretching his muscles. You laugh, and he swears it’s the sweetest sound in the world. He wishes he could give you more reasons to laugh, but there were few opportunities in the Underground and it seemed as if it was your father’s goal to make you as miserable as possible.

You walk away from Levi’s table with a tray of beers, not looking at where you’re going and knock into another table. The beers spill everywhere as the pint glasses fall and break onto the floor.

Your father is upon you in an instant, face red from alcohol, anger, or both. “Stupid girl…Can you do nothing right?” He raises his arm and backhands you across the cheek, but before he can land a second blow, Levi is up out of his seat and punches him squarely in the jaw. The entire tavern goes silent when they see your father sprawled on the floor unconscious, then one by one, men start standing and making their way to Levi.

“Let’s go.” He grabs your hand and pulls you out of the tavern and into the dark street. You both run, hand in hand, hiding from the men yelling and running after you, until Levi pulls you into an abandoned building. As he leads you up the stairs and onto the roof, your heart is racing from the frantic running and from the fact that Levi is holding your hand. He doesn’t let go even when he’s decided that you’re in a safe hiding place.

Your hand is sweaty but you don’t let go either. “What are we doing up here, Levi?”

“I’m getting you away from your asshole father, that’s what. I’m tired of watching him hit you. I had to do something.”

“And what are we going to do now?”

Levi thought about it for a few minutes. Honestly, he hadn’t really thought it through when he grabbed your hand and started running. “We’ll run away together.”

“Run away? But where would we even go?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.” He turns to look at you, eyes full of determination. “I can protect you.”

“We’re kids. And my dad is just drunk…he’ll regret what he did when he sobers up.”

“No! It’s not ok, what he does to you. And I’m not a kid. I’ll take care of you.”

“Levi, I —“

You’re cut off by the voice of your father, yelling your name. You peek over the edge of the building and see him stumbling about, spouting half-drunken apologies and requests for you to come home. You look at Levi, defeated.

“Y/n, no.”

You move closer to him, then give him a kiss on the lips. It’s quick and awkward, but it’s enough to make Levi’s eyes go wide.

“I have to go. He needs me,” you say reluctantly. “But someday, we’ll get out of here and be together. I promise.”

You let go of Levi’s hand and walk out of the building, toward your father’s voice.

——

You weren’t sure what to expect as you made your way to Trost, but the closer you get, the more chaotic it seems. Refugees from the fallen city and the towns surrounding fill the forests and roads. You hear them talk of a rumor that a soldier turned into a titan and was able to block the hole made by the Colossal Titan, but it was too fantastical to even believe.

The walls get closer and there are soldiers everywhere, creating a roadblock that hinders your entrance.

“Sorry, miss. Access to Trost is for the military only.”

“Please… I need to get in.”

“You live here?”

“Well, no, not anymore but -“

“No civilians are allowed until we can confirm the city is secure,” he commands, unmoving.

“Can you just tell me if the Survey Corp is there? Is Captain Levi there?”

“Most of the Survey Corps left a few days ago.” He stands resolute. “It’s not safe here. You should go back wherever you came from.”

You can tell that this soldier is not going to answer any more of your questions. You look around, trying to find any uniforms with the Wings of Freedom emblazoned on the back, but you see none, only Garrison and Military Police.

If you can’t get any answers here, then you’ll just go to Survey Corps Headquarters. There’s a chill in the early spring air as you take the road you’ve traveled countless times. It’s getting dark, but the road is wide and you could ride there in your sleep; you think back to the last time you’d been there, when Lars was still alive.

As you enter the gates, there’s barely a soul to be found. Eventually, you spot a familiar face. “Wilhem…”

He stops when he sees you, a mix of surprise and confusion on his face. “Y/n…what are you doing here?”

“Where is Levi Squad? I need to talk with the Captain.”

“Sorry..I can’t tell you that. It’s classified information.”

“What do you mean?”

He tells you about the cadet who has titan abilities, and about the tribunal. You listen, in shock. It’s impossible.

“What happens next, not even we know. We’re just waiting for Commander Erwin to return with orders.” He pauses. “But everything has changed now.”

“I see.”

“Do you want me to relay a message to the Captain?”

You open your mouth to reply, but then stop and take a moment. “No..no, that’s alright,” and you turn to leave into the night, not really sure of where you’re even going. Wilhelm stops you and offers for you to stay there for the night. You tentatively agree, even though you haven’t stayed here since the argument with Lars, almost two years ago.

At dinner, the few Scouts you know tell you of the attack, of the confusion and devastation, and of the titan that seems to be on our side. They also talk about a rumor that Levi Squad has taken the cadet into their custody, but where and for what purpose, they don’t know.

As you sit there, slack-jawed, listening to their story, it confirms what Levi had tried to tell you before: this world needs him more than you do. If humanity is ever going to find freedom, then it needs Levi to keep fighting. You fear you’re just a distraction from his higher calling.

In the morning, you ride back to Karaness. Maybe it was for the best that Levi wasn’t here. Perhaps it’s time to truly make a life on your own.

——

Levi wakes up to the sun shining on his face through the window of his cold, musty room. He’d fallen asleep in the armchair again, but it didn’t make a difference to him - the beds in the old Survey Corps Headquarters were barely usable, and he slept even less than usual lately. Each day, more and more Survey Corps members were showing up at the castle; most notably, the new recruits, who seem to know Eren well. Levi had been monitoring him closely these past few weeks, looking for any change in behavior, or any indication of a titan shift; at the surface, he seemed like any other big-eyed cadet with a yearning to make a difference, but Levi could see something else in him. There was a monster deep inside…and when it came out, would Levi really be able to control him? Would anyone?

But that wasn’t the only thing keeping Levi up at night.

He wondered where you were and if you were alright. Had he been wrong about you leaving Trost? What if you’d been hurt, or worse? He’d checked the dead and injured civilians list, and your name was nowhere to be found. You were alive, you had to be alive…

It was torture to not be able to search for you, but once again his duties pulled him away from you, his commitment to the Corps calling him. Erwin needing him.

But had he also not promised to protect you, to keep you safe? He couldn’t help but feel like he’d failed you in that regard; and yet, he told himself that in keeping humanity safe, he was protecting you, the one constant in his chaotic life.

He rubbed his stiff neck and rose from the armchair. They leave for Karaness District today and there’s still much to do. Erwin had arrived at the castle a few days ago and had informed his squad leaders of the deeper plan behind the 57th expedition beyond the walls, but Levi knew there was more he wasn’t telling them. There was a bigger plan at work here, and a look in Erwin's eyes that unnerved even Levi, who probably knew him better than anyone.

A two day ride brought the Corps to the inner gate of Karaness. Erwin thought it best for all squads to camp outside the enclosed part of the district in order to accommodate the large wagons they were hauling. Wagons which were being guarded day and night and that no one was allowed to touch. Soldiers were ordered not to enter the town, in an effort to keep Eren and their plans as guarded as possible.

That night, Levi was quiet, introspective. There was an air of anticipation throughout the camp, as there usually was the night before an expedition, but Levi knew there was something different this time - a new enemy, possibly amongst them. He should be thinking about the mission, about how he’s going to keep Eren protected, but as he cleaned and polished his blades, he looked up at the stars, and wondered where you were.

——

It was one of the first warm evenings of the early spring, as you climbed the small ladder leading to the roof of your apartment. Whenever the sky was clear, you yearned to see the stars; the freedom and expanse of it all was such a stark contrast to the world you and Levi had been raised in. You smiled, thinking back to the two of you as children, straining to see the sky through a steep crevice opening to the world above, wondering what the stars were made of, straining to count how many there were..

And now, because of him, you were able to see them. You were thankful for the moments you’d been able to share with him in this life. He’d saved you, in more ways than one.

“Levi…wherever you are…be safe..” you said to the stars. They twinkled in response.

You awoke the next morning to the noise of wagons and horses, and the gate into Karaness opening. Confused, you walked downstairs to see what the commotion was about.

“That was the Survey Corps. Their next expedition is departing from Karaness this morning,” one of your neighbors mentions.

“What!?” Without even thinking twice, you begin racing down the street to the gate. If you hurry, you might be able to see them, and catch Levi’s eye. Maybe even get a chance to talk to him, to tell him that you love him, that you’re sorry for leaving.

Pain pierces your side as you run as fast as your legs will allow. But by the time you get there, the gate is closed.

There it is: that feeling of fear you had whenever you saw Lars and Levi ride out of Trost; of helplessness that you can do nothing but wait.

But your fear quickly turns to a bold determination that he will return, and when he does, you will be there.

Surprisingly, you didn’t have to wait long to hear the gate open for their return.

——

Levi was used to the jeering and cursing of townspeople after an expedition; but this time, it was almost unbearable. His injured ankle was throbbing as he walked through Karaness; however, he refused to ride his horse. He wanted to feel the pain, wanted to feel anything other than this deep sorrow in his heart. The words stuck in his throat as he turned to face Petra’s father.

She was gone. They were all gone.

The noise of the crowd fades away as he continues to walk in a daze.

“Levi…”

The voice is soft and sweet against the ugliness of the jeers. Then a hooded figure comes into view as it quietly walks beside him from a distance.

And it’s like the whole world stops.

He doesn’t have to see your face to know instantly that it’s you. He keeps walking to avoid a scene, but your name escapes his lips in a barely audible whisper.

“I need to talk with you,” you plead, “please.”

If only he could leave with you now; if only you both could leave this place together, leave everything behind.

You tell him the location of your apartment and he promises to be there tonight.

A promise he intends to keep with every fibre of his being.

——

You pace the floor as you wait for Levi, going over and over in your mind what you’ll say to him.

Then there’s a knock at the door. You take a deep breath and open it.

Levi stands before you, visibly shaken, which is a rare sight, even for all the years you’ve known him. For a moment, he just stands there, then walks past you and into the small apartment.

He’s never been one for words, but the weight of his silence now fills the space between the two of you as he looks around the room.

“You came..” you manage to finally utter.

“Of course I did,” he answers curtly, his voice stressed, “I want some answers.”

He turns to look at you, and you can see the pain on his face, the hurt in his eyes. He’s different.

What happened during this expedition?

“Why did you leave Trost?”

You swallow, mouth suddenly dry. “I couldn’t stay there anymore. I decided it was for the best if I left your life - for good this time.”

Before you can explain further, or apologize, he cuts you off. “I can decide for myself what I do and don’t need in my life. Noone gets to decide that for me.”

“No..” you shake your head, “you’re not listening - “

“And I told you that I would take care of you. Why would you run from me? Do you even know what you want?” His voice is raised, anger and frustration coming through in every word.

Hearing him reprimand you like this sends a spark of anger through you. “You’re one to talk, Levi. You left me first, remember? Don’t act like you’re blameless in all this.”

Hands clenched at your sides, you face him. “You once told me that you left me alone above ground because you thought it was the best thing for me. That you couldn’t give me what I needed or deserved. Well, that’s how I felt.” You struggle with your next words. “Humanity needs you more than I ever will.”

“I don’t care what humanity needs,” he cuts you off again, “I need you. Can’t you see that?”

Although his words are harsh, his face is pained, and so you move even closer to him and cup his cheek.

He needs you.

“Levi…I’m here. For all of my doubts, I’ve realized I need you too.” Your voice softens. Seeing his face, having him here, suddenly makes all your other anxieties about the future seem unimportant. You’re only thinking about him. “What happened today?”

You can feel Levi leaning into your hand. “They’re gone. Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, they were all killed today.” He swallows hard. “And I couldn’t protect them.”

He sits on your bed and looks at his hands. “I don’t understand why I have this kind of strength if I can’t save the people I care about most.”

You sit next to him and take his hands in yours, feeling the rough calluses from years of using the ODM gear. For someone so strong, he has such slender, delicate hands, you’ve always thought. At this moment, he suddenly seems so helpless. “Levi..their deaths, Lars’ death, Isabelle’s and Farlan’s..it’s not your fault. Your strength has protected countless others’ lives.”

You shift your weight on the bed to look at him, then lift his hands to your mouth and begin kissing each finger. “How many times did you protect me when we were kids? When you saved me from that brothel?” You’re kissing his rough knuckles, “You’ve sacrificed so much for others…for me..”

“Y/n..” Levi utters, his pain changing to love and desire. “I’ve done it all for you.” He caresses your cheek, then moves his lips closer to yours. “And I’d do it all again, if it meant I could be with you.”

He kisses you and even though you’ve felt his lips a thousand times before, it feels like the first time. Those same rough but delicate hands move from caressing your face to unbuttoning your blouse, finally laying you down on the bed.

You look at him as he hovers over you; for almost his entire life, Levi has been seen as a weapon, his body used to intimidate and destroy. But you’ve never seen him that way; even now, as he unbuttons his own shirt to reveal his scarred body, you see him as a man with so much love and care for others. And how he has used his body to love you in ways that no other person ever could.

You pull him toward you and kiss him once more. “I love you, Levi.” The words you once had so much trouble saying now flow easily, unencumbered by pride or shame.

“And I love you,” he replies tenderly. “I always have, and I always will.”

——

The two of you made love again and again that night, until your bodies were completely spent and the sun began to peek over Wall Rose. It was as if each time you both were discovering something new about the other; a deeper well of love and pleasure neither had experienced before.

And something else was discovered: the realization that you both needed each other; it had always been this way and it was always going to be this way; an irrefutable fact, like gravity. Fighting against it was a fruitless act, and so all you both can do is cling to each other.

As the sun moves higher in the sky and the town wakes up around you, you know he has to go. The Scouts are heading to Stohess District for the next phase of Erwin’s plan, and neither of you know when you’ll see each other again. He pulls you close as you see him to the door, then he moves back to look at you.

“There are only two promises I’ve ever made in my life, to take down the titans and to protect you. But I’ll make you another promise: I will always, always come back to you. Nothing and no one is ever going to keep me away again.”

His eyes…those same grey eyes you’ve known since you were both children, when he was helpless and alone; now, no longer helpless.

And never alone again.

“Yes, Levi, yes. I’ll wait for you. Until those gates open, until these walls come falling down, until you kill the last titan...I will be here waiting…. ”

“I promise you.”

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