#feeling a little brave i will put this in the main tags

[lanshappycorner]

I'm here to defend Pacciofinn's honor here is my essay and breakdown as to why pacciofinn is actually a banger ship

(*ummm going back after writing this entire thing, this ended up becoming mainly a carpaccio character analysis with some additional yaoi on the side but please by all means read it anyways)

(**Also disclaimer this is my own interpretation of the characters and their relationship. If you don't agree then you're wrong it is what it is 😔 I'm not the author so I can't tell you that I am completely right either even if I am. Additionally, warnings for spoilers in this essay)

I think to understand pacciofinn you'd have to understand Carpaccio as a character because I do think that people do like to paint him as just a Bad Guy or a bully and I'm not going to say he doesn't have his flaws because. He does. He's first presented as an asshole who hurts people weaker than him but his character isn't as simple as just "a bad guy"

To start off with, Carpaccio was born and immediately chosen by the Healing Cane. As such, he's basically been held to a pedestal his entire life, always doing what he wants and always being allowed to do what he wants because of his potential.

In addition, it's important to note that he can't feel pain. He has never felt pain a day in his life and idk how else to tell you this but clearly this has fucked him up greatly although he may not be aware of it

In order to understand Carpaccio, you'd have to understand his relationship with pain. Essentially, Carpaccio does not know what pain is. He knows what it is in theory, he knows that people can feel it and it is allegedly bad and painful, but how could he understand what "painful" is if he never felt pain?

To Carpaccio, pain is nothing more than a weapon. He is aware that others are hurt because of it, but he can't make the connection as to why this pain is so bad that they can't stand it, because he's never felt it himself.

It's likely he underestimates how pain feels, and this creates some sort of mentality in which he views others as inherently weaker than him because pain to him is truly not that bad. Because he can't feel it. He can't empathize

On the topic of empathy. You hesitate to hurt others because you know how it feels to be hurt, you understand the basic feeling of pain—there is basically almost no one on earth that hasn't felt pain because pain is a warning from your body to avoid certain things.

But if someone has never felt pain before, not only will they be reckless with their body, they will be reckless with other's safety. To them, there is no consequence to injury, and they cannot fathom the pain of others to care enough to take it into consideration.

Simply put, Carpaccio has never had to face the conquences of his actions. He's never felt the pain of stabbing himself, and due to the fact that he's chosen by the Healing Cane, he likely does not face any normal consequences for the trouble he causes others either due to his actions

This has in turn greatly stunted his emotional capabilities, however that doesn't mean that he lacks them. Carpaccio knows to respect people that he acknowledges are stronger than him, he knows his place. He's divided the world into the weak and the strong, and the only way he can "empathize" with the world is to empathize with the strong.

He understands the feeling of having power over others, he understands the feeling of superiority, of arrogance and confidence. These are the only emotions he Can connect with because he's never been on the side of the weak, he's never felt threatened or hurt.

Also, you have to keep in mind that this society is heavily focused around the concept of the weak and the strong.

The magicless are weak and should be rid of, the strong are ranked by their lines and strength. It should be no surprise that Carpaccio's apathy to the suffering of the weak is initially a core character trait of his, considering his own situation and the society he lives in.

So, so far we've established Carpaccio's base character before any character development. But the good stuff comes after

During his fight with Finn, he's made it clear that Finn disgusts him because he assumes that Finn got in due to his brother's influence (which is not the case). He hates people who put in effort knowing that they will never succeed, because he cannot understand their struggles.

This goes back to empathy and sympathy. Carpaccio has never had to put much effort into anything to get to where he is, and it's not that he's never put in effort into anything at all, but it's not quite the same. I'm sure that he puts effort into his research, but in general, he's never been "weak" enough to face a situation where he will fail.

Also, he was "chosen". All his life, he's been told that he was "chosen", and that's why he is where he is. In this world, there's a heavy emphasis on being chosen by magic or gods or whatever. To Carpaccio, the strong and the weak are determined by them being chosen. Those who were not chosen have no chance of being strong because they weren't chosen to be strong, it's simple.

It also goes to show his logic. Carpaccio's view of the world is so black and white and simple, that he comes off as almost childish. He doesn't have any grasp on how his actions may affect others, and even if he's told so, he can't...connect the dots.

If he hurts someone, then he hurts them. He can't make the connection as to why it would be bad because he was chosen and they were not. He's strong, so he has the right to disregard them.

Because his worldview is made up of the weak and the strong, he thinks that effort is wasted on the weak, and they should stay where they are. He doesn't understand what it means to feel helpless, he doesn't understand why the weak would want to be strong, and he's happy with the status quo he's created in his mind.

This is also why he directly states that people who never succeed and still try their hardest bother him the most. Why does it bother him? Why is someone trying to overcome the position they were born in bother him the most? We can only assume that it is because he views them as a threat.

Someone that challenges his way of thinking and all of his ideologies is something he despises because it is a hit at his own status as someone who was chosen. There's also the fact that he probably just finds them pathetic, because he knows that they'll never amount up to him, and he doesn't want to risk thinking about if they could.

But also, when it comes to pain, Carpaccio does want to feel it. How could he not? It's the one thing in his life that he's never felt, it's his greatest weapon, and yet he doesn't know what it feels like. He can't imagine what it feels like.

Being able to feel pain is the one thing that he cannot understand, so of course he'd want to know about it. However, he's split the world into the strong and the weak, and he's deemed those who are strong to be the only people capable of giving him the pain he wants.

That is why he doesn't like dealing with people he considers weak--they basically don't exist to him. They can't help him get what he wants, and as far as Carpaccio is aware, they're basically a waste of space. Which is a really fucked up and a detached view of the world tbh but on that topic...

Carpaccio himself says that he sees the world as a haze. There is no one he can connect to, no one he can understand completely, and no one who understands him. What he seeks is pain, but beyond that pain, perhaps he doesn't realize it, is a want for connection.

When Mash finally beats the shit out of him, he's finally able to empathize with the weak for the first time in his life. Or rather, perhaps he's beginning to understand that his worldview was kinda fucked up, and the world is not nearly as black and white as he thought.

When Carpaccio is hurt, for the first time in his life he instinctively knows what "hurt" is. This phrase—"it hurts"—repeats in his mind over and over again, and it's really just proof that he's still human as much as he's come to think of himself as above that.

He's reminded of his own humanity, and along with the pain that he can instinctively recognize, comes feelings of fear. He describes pain to be awful and frightening, and for the first time in his life, he can finally empathize with his peers, with everyone that he's ever hurt, because he now understands feelings of pain.

Carpaccio's apathy stems from a place from lack of empathy, but now that he can empathize, the first thing he thinks about is how much he put Finn through. Carpaccio is barely just learning how to understand other people, and the first thing he realizes is how severely fucked up it was that he did all of that to Finn.

These feelings turn into ones of disbelief—because he can't comprehend how someone can endure something so frightening for someone else's sake. As far as we know, Carpaccio is a very selfish person. He does things for his own interest and his own gain.

To endure things for others is unfathomable, and to endure pain, which he now knows to be awful and frightening, is probably just...baffling. Finn is enduring all these terrible things, and it's not even for himself.

Finn has outmatched Carpaccio in terms of endurance and character, and even Carpaccio himself admits to it at the end of the battle because as arrogant as he was, the moment he felt his first taste of pain, he had instantly lost. Like, he didn't even try to get up

He could not continue to fight, even for his pride, simply because...pain was scary.

So what I feel like a lot of people miss is that Carpaccio is the way he is because of the circumstances that he was born in that led him to have a twisted view of the world, but the moment he's able to feel human, when he's able to feel pain and fear, he becomes a lot more normal than you'd think.

(It's not an excuse for his behavior of course, but it is a huge part of his characterization that I feel like people tend to forget.)

After the battle, you can see he's now on good terms with Max, who he formerly beat up. Although it's not explicit, it's kind of implied that he's changing for the better, because Carpaccio is someone who categorizes the weak and the strong, so he would never become friendly with those he considers "weak".

However, by hanging out with Max who he formerly beat up, it goes to show that his perspective is changing. Perhaps his viewpoints haven't instantly changed, but he's seeing strength in those he considers weak, and he's able to properly start forming connections.

In the Mashle fanbook, in Carpaccio's relationship chart, it's pretty hard to translate but there is a specific note towards Finn that basically is him admitting to being impressed with Finn. Like yes Mash did beat him, but he acknowledges that it was Finn's victory as well. Even in the actual battle, his last thoughts regarding the situation were not of Mash, but of Finn and how Finn beat him.

SO WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY AFTER THIS WHOLE GODDAMN ESSAY IS THAT pacciofinn would not be toxic okay 🥺</33 Carpaccio has changed for the better and he actually views Finn positively !!! He did not come out of that fight as a static character, he's had growth !!

It is unfair to his character to say that he'd treat Finn badly or he'd continue to be an asshole even after everything because the thing is that Carpaccio has finally solved his biggest issue. He's finally able to understand people around him, and his research about pain only goes to show that he is interested in people around him now.

He is interested in knowing people and understanding pain in a way that does not mean hurting them and he just happens to be really emotionally constipated and awkward while he's at it </333 like really have u seen him. get a load of his guy

not a damn thought going through that brain of his does he look like he can express normal love and affection and care in a not weird and cryptic (affectionate) manner to u. the last time we saw him smiling it looked wrong on his face.

it looked so wrong that I swore the entire fandom collectively wiped it from their brains and forgot he knew how to smile hence they write him off as a cold asshole incapable of expressing joy as if he isnt like 16 years old and learning emotions for the first time in his life like a newborn deer but anyways whatever im not salty about that why would you think that

This was supposed to be a pacciofinn defense essay but I feel like 90% of the reason why ppl hate pacciofinn is because they don't get Carpaccio's character. Im so okay with ppl hating the ship but I get so petty when its because they mischaracterize Carpaccio like if you can admit that Carpaccio wouldn't mistreat Finn if they got into a relationship and still dislike the ship then okay youre good idc but to EVERYONE ELSE its on sight

Okok but besides from the character analysis, can we take a moment to think about how. Carpaccio's magic allows him to transfer his pain to others and his whole deal is that he can't feel pain and also he's like confident and the top of the grade or whatever.

And meanwhile Finn is unconfident and barely made the cutoff for Easton and his magic allows him to switch places of stuff he wants but MOST IMPORTANTLY his magic has the ability to heal !!!!! THEY R LIKE...FOILS.....YEAH...SO REAL

It also makes it more thematically better that they ended up going head to head and it was Finn(ft. Mash)'s victory like Finn is just living proof of everything Carpaccio doesn't believe in and now he's forced to believe in it.

I also think it's important to consider that Carpaccio acknowledges it to be Finn's win instead of thinking further abt Mash because here's the thing: Mash is the main character. He's magicless, yes, but he also possesses a large amount of power already.

He is, in all sense of the word, "strong". He doesn't let his status as someone without magic deter him from his goals (and that's what makes him so good but this is not a Mash appreciation essay so I'll have to leave that for next time but I love Mash)

Finn on the other hand, is what really embodies Carpaccio's perception of someone "weak". He's not particularly strong in magic, and he's also not physically strong either. He gets scared easily, and he's not so brash that he can confidently jump into battle like the rest of his friends. He needs help, he can't win on his own. But despite this, he had the courage to stand up to Carpaccio.

And by the end of the manga, Finn has acquired 2 lines. The person Carpaccio had considered "weak" went far beyond his expectations and now they have the same amount of lines. However, Carpaccio's respect for Finn did not begin after he acquired 2 lines, but before that when he still had only 1 line and that is so important to me

I don't know where I'm going with this um sorry but to conclude I think you guys should care abt pacciofinn they r so silly to me theyre just two little guys i want them put into a blender

[holylulusworld]

Come to heaven

Title: Come to heaven

Written for @buckybarnesbingo (Round 6)

Card: B004

Square Filled: K5: handle with care

Ship/Main Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Ex!Reader

Rating: Mature

Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: angst, jealousy, ex! sugar babe trope, drunkness, fluff, hopeful ending

Summary: Making amends is hard.

A/N: Lyrics in Italics taken from Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven"

Word Count: 1,7k+

BBB BuckyBarnesBingo 2024 masterlist

Catch up here: Go to hell

Written in reader’s PoV

Bucky tries to slip his hand into your panties, but you wrap your hand around his wrist to stop him. This is how he always made you compliant and stopped any argument.

“No! Not this time.”

“No?” He sounds surprised. Of course, he’s surprised. You always gave in and let him seduce you. Pleasure and having his attention, even for a fleeting time, was better than thinking about the future, or your non-existent relationship.

“No!” You stiffen in his arms. “Let go of me. I won’t let you do this to me all over again. It’s always the same. You stop me from speaking my mind with your lips, hands, or cock. I’m done being a sexual object, a toy you can play with to you.”

“Doll, I…” Bucky reluctantly releases you from his embrace. He steps away to watch you turn around. “What do you mean?”

“This,” you press your hand to your heart, “was yours. I admitted my feelings and waited for you to at least tell me that I mean a little more to you than a set of holes you can fill. But…” you sniffle but put a brave face on, “you couldn’t even give me that.”

“So, you want to go back to that old man and his limp dick?” He scoffs in an attempt to hide the hurt.

“Even if I’m not in love with him, I know exactly what he wants from me. He won’t make promises of keeping me safe and happy only to turn his back on me the moment I tell him that I love him. With him, I know what I’ll get.”

You try to sidestep Bucky, but he blocks your path. “That’s it? You’ll leave me for that man without giving me the chance to make things up to you.”

“James,” you gently cup his face and look him in the eyes. “You can’t make things up to me with gifts or sex this time. I asked you if you can imagine having a relationship with me. You gave me your answer. It’s my turn to tell you that what you have to offer is not enough.”

“Not enough?” He’s confused. “But I…”

“Money and shiny things cannot replace what you are unwilling to give,” you give him a sad smile. “As much as I enjoyed our time together, it’s over. We both knew it’d end like this. This kind of arrangement is meant to end sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about it.”

You press your lips to his scruffy chin, ending what began as a passionate one-night stand with a soft kiss. “Goodbye, James. I hope, one day, you’ll find something worth being more than…” Your voice cracks and you drop your hands from his face.

“Y/N,” he tries to grab your hand but you step away the moment his fingertips brush your skin. If you give in to him now, you’re doomed to repeat history. “Wait, I can try to be better.”

You give him a weak smile. “No, you won’t, James. You never had to try, and that’s the problem. Your good looks and reputation made everything so much easier for you than for other men.”

He allows you to leave, watching you go to join your companion for the rest of the night. Bucky will sulk in a corner, drinking too much while wishing you’d stayed by his side instead of laughing about the things the old man by your side says.

Bucky is close to losing his patience. He’d hoped scaring the man you chose over him would be enough. Much to his chagrin, your companion from last night is rather amused about Bucky’s presence.

Erik Lehnsherr lived long enough to fear nothing. Not that he ever feared anything else than his own mortality. But at his age, even that fear faded a long time ago.

“I don’t understand why you are here, Mr. Barnes,” Erik leans back in his chair, an amused smirk on his lips. “Do we have business to do? I don’t think so. I’m old, not forgetful.”

“If you release Y/N out of her contract with you, I’ll pay you any sum,” Bucky tries to get you out of your sugar girl arrangement with the old creep.

“A contract?” He quirks a brow. “The lovely lady accompanying me last night came with me to make sure I’m not alone. We don’t have an arrangement. She’s just a lovely young woman spending time with me to help me with my paperwork.”

“Paperwork?” Bucky eyes his concurrent warily. He’s a master at reading people and finding lies behind a friendly smile. “She’s your employee?”

“A freelancer, the young people call it these days,” Erik holds back a chuckle.

When you offered to join him at the party, you told him everything that happened with James Buchanan Barnes. The man breaking your heart. Erik promised he’d do anything to make the fool let you go see that he made a grave mistake.

“I’m old, not someone creeping on young women,” he adds after a long pause. “I had my fair share of lovely ladies and gentlemen when I was younger.” Erik eyes Bucky up and down. “You’d be on top of my list if only I was thirty years younger.”

Bucky backpaddles. He eyes Erik warily before clearing his throat.

”What exactly is Y/N doing for you?”

“I already told you that she does my paperwork. I believed I was the old man here. Maybe you should get your memory checked, young man,” Erik chuckles. “If you’d excuse me now. I’m waiting for a massage therapist. A pretty boy getting this old man going…”

‘Old creep’, Bucky thinks to himself before leaving without saying goodbye. “At least he doesn’t creep on Y/N. That’s a pro.”

Bucky drove to his best friend to release some steam. He told Steve everything about you and the stunt you pulled to make him jealous.

“She tricked you,” Steve can’t help but laugh. “Man, you’ve got yourself a smart little cookie. I bet she tried to wrap you around her finger.”

“I fell for her lie so easily,” Bucky huffs. “I believed she’s riding that creep’s dick. Now I know, she put on a show to get my attention, not to rub it under my nose. My sweet doll is missing me.”

“Well, if she’s your sweet doll try to treat her better. She deserves someone to take good care of her.”

“Steve—”

“No, Buck. You need to handle her with care,” Steve won’t let his friend get away with a false excuse. “Y/N got hurt by you once, Buck. I don’t want you to make the same mistake twice.”

You walk a little faster to outrun Bucky. He’s following you around town, a bouquet of roses in his hands.

He tried to convince you to move in with him, promising the world to you.

“Go away,” you huff. “I don’t know what kind of game you are playing, but I won’t participate. Just leave me alone.”

“You know that you can’t run away from me in those shoes, right?” Bucky smirks when you stop in your tracks to look at the colorful thongs you’re wearing. “I never understood how you can walk in these…”

“I like to feel the sunshine and air on my feet,” you point out. “Not everyone wants to run around in polished leather shoes all the time.”

“Ouch,” he snickers. “Come on, baby doll. Let’s have lunch together. Give me the chance to show you that I can change.”

“Bucky,” you sigh. “You don’t get that I can’t go back to what we had.”

“Y/N,” he drops the roses to cup your face. “I don’t want to go back to what we had. Baby doll, let your Bucky treat you like a queen.”

“I don’t want you to treat me like a queen,” you wrap your hands around his wrists to pull his hands off of your face, “only like someone you respect and love. I want you to treat me like your girlfriend. But you can’t give me that.”

“Baby…”

You look on the ground. “Please pick the roses up and give them to someone who wants to become your next sugar babe. I’m out of this for good.”

Again, you walk away. You’re holding your head high and ignore the ache in your heart as you leave Bucky behind.

'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) You bring me to my knees, you make me testify (ooh) You can make a sinner change his ways (ooh) Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light (ooh) And right there is where I wanna stay (ooh)

“What the fuck!” You yell out of your window. Bucky parked his car in front of your apartment complex. He’s singing along to a song, begging you to take him back. “It’s 2 am Bucky! What is wrong with you?”

He turns the volume down and kills the engine before waving at you.

“Baby doll,” he slurs. “I came here to bring you home. ‘m missing you, doll…Please come home.”

“SHUT UP!” one of your neighbors yells out of their window. “Do you know how late it is?”

“It’s 2 am,” Bucky yells back. “Stop yelling so loud. You’ll wake the neighbors!”

“BUCKY! Stop being so loud!”

“Baby…can I come up and cuddle you?” He grins dopily when you slam the window shut. “She loves me!”

“SHUT UP!” Your neighbor yells.

“Shut up!” Bucky yells back. “OH…there you are…” He stumbles toward the door when you get out. “BABY DOLL!”

“Bucky,” you hiss and grab his hand. “Stop yelling and come with me.”

“You look pretty in your pajamas,” he purrs your name and wraps himself around you. Bucky nuzzles his face in your neck and sighs. “Without you, I’m in hell, doll. Forget about that old creep and go for Bucky.” He mutters against you.

You sigh deeply. “Fine, come with me to heaven. You can bunker on my couch. In the morning, we will talk about impulse control and not yelling in the middle of the night.”

Tags in reblog.

[nouies]

hello and welcome to the may fic rec featuring my favourite works from the few i read during the past weeks. as always, please check tags before reading. if you liked the fics please reblog their posts, leave kudos and write a nice comment. happy reading! rec tag | more rec lists

— harry/louis —  

໑ just a couple of my cravings by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf (G, 3k, acquaintances to lovers, start of summer, quitting smoking, asthma) Summer's just around the corner and Louis' battling his addictions… Cigarettes and Harry Styles.

໑ House Husband by wanderlou (M, 11.8k, established relationship, sassy wife au, kid fic) Louis and Harry are happily married with two beautiful kids.Harry is a lawyer who provides for his family and Louis is his sassy house husband. This is a week in their life.

໑ Rewriting the Melody by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 (T, 26k, friends to lovers, canon divergence, famous harry, non-famous louis) Louis doesn’t get put in One Direction. This time, the path to true love takes the long way round, including singing in toilet cubicles, fruit baskets, and long distance band counselling from someone who really doesn’t know what he’s doing, he just wants to keep talking to Harry.

໑ peaches and soft myth by @outropeace (E, 36k, acquaintances to lovers, college au, grumpy/sunshine, practice kissing) “Greta kissed me,” he said at last. It wasn’t the main issue, but it was a start.

Louis’ smile was radiant. Eyes sparkling with genuine happiness. Harry’s stomach felt a little funny, wishing he could feel as happy as the cheerleader. "Oh, my god? We did it! I’m a genius ! Was it long? Slow and sensual, full of lust and passion, tongues intertwined—" he gasped. “Did she tremble in your arms?” He hugged himself.

“That’s not—”

“No one believes me when I say I am a good matchmaker. They are always like, ‘Oh Louis, you have the worst eye for couples and men. You always miss the real connections.’ Who missed now? Not me. Nuh-hu, I saw the potential. Your grumpy attitude did not deter me. I'm probably the greatest matchmaker on campus. Don’t you think?” Louis’ smile faltered. “Wait… why do you look as if you were about to throw up?”

“She told me her roommate leaves for a few days after spring break. She invited me to her dorm room.”

“Okay?” Louis said slowly. “Am I missing something? Is it about clothes? Because I can totally find something—”

Harry scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not about that.”

“Then what?”

“I…” Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m a virgin.”

໑ don't be afraid to love (and love again) by localopa / @voulezloux (T, 83k, strangers to lovers, angst with happy ending, trans male character, read tags and author’s notes) the one where louis is trans and afraid, harry is cis and brave, and being 100% yourself is easier said than done.

— rare pairs —

໑ better latte than never by @disgruntledkittenface (harry/zayn, M, 1.4k, coworkers to lovers, puns, masturbation) Harry was looking forward to the coffee cart at work. Until the subject of the previous night's fantasies lined up next to him.

[shinestarhwaa]

LADY OF THE NIGHT || PARK SEONGHWA

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Virgin!Seonghwa X Escort!reader

Word Count: 3K

Tags/warnings: Non idol!AU, reader is older, graphic design student!Seonghwa, Dirty language, virginity loss, sub!hwa, dom!reader, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, masturbation, mommy!reader/mommy kink, unprotected sex

Taglist:

@anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong

ENJOY!

Seonghwa's fingers trembled as they dialed your phone number. His breath was shaky when he brought his phone to his ear. His heart was beating loudly in his chest, so loud he thought you might hear it through the phone.

"Hi, this is Chanel Jordan from Lady Of The Night escort services, how may I help you?"

Seonghwa felt like his throat was closing up, choking on his words. "H-hi, this is...uhm... Seonghwa, I'm calling to...uhm... make an appointment." His voice came out much more shy than he wanted to. He sighd and mentally slapped himself for coming off as so insecure. The woman on the other side of the line let out a little grinning noise.

"That's definitely possible, young man. Have you looked at our website? You can check out the services and experiences we provide."

She called him young man. Oof. And yes, he surely had checked out the website. He had looked at the profiles of all the workers. There was a nice variety even though the business wasn't a big one. There were 5 women available this Saturday night, and he decided to shoot his shot now.

"Yes, I have, I have seen the site and your...uhm... escorts." "You have seen our ladies? Okay, did you have a preference?"

He looked at his laptop screen once more, seeing the women's profiles. There was a gorgeous 22 year old Japanese woman; Yui, looking like a model. Then a Thai and Korean woman; Zora and Eunbin, both 23. One Afro-American woman of 23; Alexis, which he had considered, but when he saw your profile he had to pick you, the only one older than him. He wanted that. He wanted someone who was older, sexy and experienced.

Your hair was beautiful, shining and your eyes spoke to him when he saw your pictures. He nearly immediately got a hard-on in his pants. Your legs looked long on the picture, the heels on your feet making you look dominant. Seonghwa shifted as he felt himself getting excited.

"Yes I'd like to choose Y/N."

"Very well then, when would you like to book your appointment?"

"U-uhm, Friday or Saturday night?" He stuttered as the looked through his agenda. "Saturday night can be arranged. Are you free at 9?"

Seonghwa looked around his apartment as if someone would come in and say 'Aha! I know what you're doing there' and laugh at him. "Yes 9PM is great, thank you."

"Alright then, I have to register who she's meeting so it's... Park Seonghwa, right? What's your age, dear?"

"I'm 25, ma'am," Seonghwa said, but almost whispered. He could practically feel this woman laughing at him for his awkwardness. "Alright... 25... and the address?"

Seonghwa told the woman his address and floor number as he fidgeted with the bracelet on his wrist. "Noted, thankyou, now do you want a special service? The girlfriend-experience, the extra long appointment..."

He took a look at the special services written on the website. Some of them scared him, but he tried to put on a brave tone. "Virginity, ma'am." "For you or for her? Although, I think I can tell."

Seonghwa felt mortified. Did he sound like a virgin? "Yes, me, ma'am," he confirmed. "Alright, that is not a problem at all. Further questions or things you want to do in your session can be discussed with Y/N. You can contact her via the E-Mail address on the website, or wait for your session."

"Thank you so much, have a good day," Seonghwa said before quickly hanging up the phone. He sighed deeply as he rubbed his temples. Was this a bad idea? He'd have to find out.

-

It was finally Saturday night and Seonghwa had showered twice in a time-span of an hour and touched up his hair about a million times. He had never been this nervous before in his life, and he really wanted to look good for his 'date'.

He sat on the darkgrey couch, legs trembling with anxiety. He stupidly undoes his pants and checks if his genital area looks okay enough. He sighed as he buttoned his pants up again, taking a deep breath. You must've seen worse than this, Seonghwa was very hygienic.

The doorbell suddenly rang, startling him and making him jump up. He took a deep breath before walking into the hall, opening the door. There you were, looking like a modern day Goddess. Your black satin dress hugged your figure, black fuzzy coat making you seem somewhat rich, fancy.

A smile played on your glossy lips as you greeted him. "Hi, Seonghwa is it? I'm Y/N, nice to meet you." "H-Hi," Seonghwa stuttered as his eyes lingered on your exposed collarbones. "Come in."

You stepped into his apartment, taking off your coat and hanging it on the coatrack in the corner. "Do you want a drink or anything, Ma'am?" His stance was cute, hands intertwined behind is back, bouncing on his legs anxiously.

"Some water would be great babyboy, let's sit down and discuss before we get started," you said, walking into his living room. You sat down on his sofa, dragging your hand over the soft cushions. Seonghwa was quick to put some water on the table before sitting down at the other side of the couch.

He fidgeted with his fingers, obviously nervous, making you smirk a little. "So baby, you're a virgin. And you do not wanna lose your virginity to a sweet little girlfriend?" His head shook. "I don't have one and... I am in my senior year, I don't... wanna graduate and still be a virgin, I wanna... I want to have sex and be good at it. I wanna learn."

Your smile softened, feeling for the boy. "Well, it's not something to be ashamed of, but if this is what you want then I am happy to help. So you have no experience?" "I have only kissed before and... touched myself." You couldn't help but smirk at the thought of the shy boy playing with his cock.

"Alright, is there anything you wish to do? Kinks, fetishes, positions?" You said as you drank your water. "Uhm, I just... hope to... get the whole... thing yk, learn how to... do the foreplay stuff and... have sex and yk... make you feel good."

"Sweetheart, it's not about you making me feel good. It's about you feeling good." "Yes but, I also wanna learn... how to please a woman, so I know how to do it next time," he said quietly, sipping on his water. "Hm, okay, you basically want a bit of a sex masterclass," you smirked, "alright sweetie. Tell me about the stuff you're into... What gets you hot and bothered?"

You leaned back into the couch, crossing your legs. Seonghwa's eyes slid from the heel of your shiny black boots all the way to your thighs. "I... I want to hear you moan my name... and I... I want to cum inside you."

"Mhm, you enjoy affirmation and breeding, okay, well that's good to know. I think you're unsure of your likes and dislikes, obviously, so I'll help you figure that out. Do you want to start?"

Seonghwa nodded, standing up and guiding you to his bedroom. It was lit romantically, making you smile softly at his attempt of pretending he didn't hire a hooker to get his dick wet. He's a cutie.

You sat him down on the edge of his bed, standing in front of him. "You got any sexy music on your phone sweetie?" He nodded and put on a sexy playlist, placing his phone on the nightstand before getting back to his original position.

You twirled around, feeling the music as you sexily unzipped your boots, giving the boy a little stripshow. He visibly gulped, his cock hardening in his pants as you slid your dress off, letting it fall onto the floor. You were left in just a black thong as you walked over to him, sitting on his right thigh. You ran your hands over his chest before placing your lips on his, deciding to ease the guy in.

His plush lips were so smooth against yours, it made your body flutter. It had been a while since you had a client this beautiful, especially with such beautiful velvety lips. You kissed for a minute or two before you slipped your tongue into his mouth. He let you take the lead completely as your tongues discover each other.

You broke off the kiss and unbuttoned the buttons of his black blouse, revealing his toned upper body with lightly carved abs, leaving you pleasantly surprised. "You look good baby boy, you work out?" Seonghwa nodded shyly. "Sometimes."

You got off his lap, getting on your knees as you took off his pants and boxer in one go, revealing his semi-hard cock. "Don't overthink it, okay?" You said as he noticed he was really nervous about showing you his naked body.

You figured he didn't want your sexy 'pornstar' type of vibe most guys enjoyed. This boy really cared about your pleasure and your softness. He smiled softly as you peppered kisses down his abs to his pelvis. He felt safer now with you, as you slowly dropped your act.

His cock twitched as your longue lapped on the tip, wet with pre-cum. You licked a stripe from the base of his length all the way back to the tip before taking him into your mouth. Your head bobbed up and down on him, making him moan out and throw his head back.

"Holy fuck, h-holy fuck," he whined out as you took his balls into your hands, working on them too. You stroke the base of his cock slowly as you focussed on his sensitive tip. ''O-oh, mommy,'' he moaned out. You pulled yourself off his cock, letting it go with a pop as you smirked at him. ''Mommy?''

''I-I'm sorry, it just slipped,'' he quickly apologized. ''No, no, no, don't apologize, I'll be mommy tonight baby boy, don't you worry,'' you said, stroking his cock slowly. ''Were you embarrassed to tell mommy what you like?'' you cooed, placing a kiss on the tip of his cock. He nodded, biting his lip as he felt his dick twitch once more for you.

''M-mommy... take me in your mouth again.'' You nodded and lowered your mouth on him, taking his entire length into your hot mouth. You deepthroated him, sucking his cock as if your life depended on it. You were determined to make this an experience he'd never forget.

''Oh my God, so close, I'm so close! I'm gonna fucking cum!'' he moaned out loudly it startled himself. You looked up at him as you worked his cock, admiring his beauty. His chest was flushed red, sweaty, rising up and down rapidly as his breathing picked up. Normally you would've stopped and dragged his orgasm out, but you found it quite cute he felt so good he was cumming just a few minutes in.

His eyes rolled backwards and his brows furrowed slightly. Seconds later, he came hard, spilling his seeds into your mouth as he let out the most beautiful loud, long moan you've ever heard from a man. He panted as you swallowed his load, hissing when you licked his cock a final time.

''Wow,'' Seonghwa breathed out as he ran his delicate hands through his dark soft hair, ''God, you're so amazing.'' You smirked as you got up, sliding off your panties. ''Oh sweetie, I know, it's my job. Now it's also my job to make you a god-sent lover for your future girls, isn't it?''

You laid down, legs spread for him, displaying your wet pussy. ''Come on here, lover boy, I'm gonna show you how to use your pretty mouth,'' you said as you gestured him to come closer. Seonghwa positioned himself in front of your pussy. ''No, no, no, my babyboy, we don't immediately dive down there the first time. We work from the top down, start at my neck,'' you suggested. Seonghwa nodded and moved his lips to the sensitive skin on your neck.

His kisses were gentle and soft and it made you smile. What an innocent boy. ''Come on baby, be a little more... sensual, intense, use your tongue, bite me softly, switch it up.'' Seonghwa's a fast learner, immediately following up your advice. He used his velvety tongue to run from your neck to the valley of your breasts, gently biting your soft skin. ''Don't mark me up baby, cannot go too far.''

Seonghwa took his hands and cupped your tits, squishing them closer and dragging his tongue over your nipples. You moaned at the feeling of his hot, wet muscle crossing over your sensitive nubs. ''Very good... that's a good boy... now kiss down my stomach, lick my pussy,'' you smirked, spreading your legs further apart.

The male moved his face down your body, leaving kisses on your torso, down to your hips and thighs before lapping at your wet pussy, tasting your juices for the first time. It was like he felt enlightenment when he kissed and licked your pussy, receiving soft moans from you as he licked at your sensitive clit. He felt his cock harden again, noticing he got horny from this. This encouraged him, made him more confident as he explored your cunt with his tongue.

''Yes, good boy, lick mommy's pussy, put it in baby, put that tongue in there, fuck me with it,'' you panted out as Seonghwa pushed his tongue into your hole, slurping up your wetness. ''Yeah, fuck, rub my clit too baby, rub my clit as you fuck me with your tongue!''

Your moans got louder the more he stimulated your pussy, feeding his building confidence. He was a natural, following every comment you made, eager to pleasure you. He rutted against the sheets, needing to release himself. Seonghwa felt his cock ache for you as he listened to your melodious moans. You noticed he got sloppier, distracted when you heard his muffled moans.

''Are you touching yourself babyboy? Are you getting off on eating mommy's pussy?'' you smirked. Seonghwa whined and nodded as he licked your clit. ''Yes mommy, fucking love it, love it so much!'' ''Come on, show mommy how hard my pussy makes you, show mommy your beautiful cock.''

Seonghwa got on his knees, showing you his hard pre-cum coated cock. ''Jerk off. Jerk yourself off for me, and moan for me,'' you said smirking as you pinched your own nipple, letting out a high-pitched moan. Seonghwa groaned as he started to fuck his own fist, looking at your sensual body.

''Yeah baby, you like that? Watching my naked body as you touch yourself? Do you wanna cum on my body?'' you smirked. ''Yes, fuck mommy, wanna cum, wanna cum so fucking bad,'' he grunted as he jerked himself off quickly. ''Wanna cum on my pussy, Hwa? Cum on mommy's pussy, come on, give it to me!''

Seonghwa's lewd moans filled the room as he pumped himself through his orgasm, emptying his cock just above your pussy, coating it in his white slick. ''Your sounds are so fucking beautiful angel, you're such a good boy... Wanna put your cock in mommy's pussy now, angel? Wanna fuck mommy's delicious pussy?''

''Please, please let me in your pussy, let me fuck you full with my cum,'' he begged. His beautiful big brown eyes could not be resisted, so you pulled him closer. ''Alright baby, slide it in then, make sure you're comfortable.'' He nodded as he positioned himself between your legs. He took the base of his dick in his hands before slowly sliding it into your cunt.

Seonghwa slowly moved his dick into you, thrusting deep. ''Try to create a rhythm, baby, make it consistent, not sloppy,'' you guided him, placing your hands on his hips. When you noticed he found a steadier rhythm you let go of him, letting him rut into you. His brows furrowed again and you were worried he was already cumming for a second.

But Seonghwa just let out beautiful moans as he thrusted his hips into yours, hitting sensitive spots deep in your wet pussy. He whined as he felt your tight walls clenching around him. You smirked as you played with his nipples as he kept fucking into you. Suddenly he thrusted against your g-spot, seemingly awakening every nerve in your body.

''O-Oh, Seonghwa, that's it baby, fuck me right there, just like that, fuck me, harder, fuck me, fuck me, yeah baby!''

Your sounds were hotter than any moans Seonghwa had ever heard in the porn he's seen, and it brought him closer to the edge. ''Mommy, I'm so close, I'm gonna fucking cum, gonna cum in your pussy, gonna fuck you full of my cum,'' he moaned loudly.

''That's it baby, talk dirty to mommy, fuck me full of your cum sweetie, fill me up, breed me, breed mommy's pussy! F-Fuck you're gonna make mommy cum, make mommy cum with you baby, give it to me!''

With a few more thrusts you felt a wave of pleasure washing over your body. You clenched around Seonghwa's cock as you orgasmed, pushing him over the edge. His thrusts got sloppier as he spilled his seeds inside you, filling you up entirely. He cried out as he emptied his load fully, milking himself dry in your tight cunt.

You panted as he pulled out, laying next to you. You smiled as you placed a kiss on his lips. ''You did amazing babyboy, you're gonna be an incredible lover.'' Seonghwa smiled but was too shy to bring out a word. He was happy with his choice after all. You were worth his first time.

''Do you have to go now?'' Seonghwa asked a few minutes later. ''Why? Do you not want me to?'' ''I know I had you for just an hour and you probably have other clients... But I want you to stay... I wanna... feel good, together, with you, I want more, please stay, give me more of you,'' he begged.

You grinned and nodded, cause how could you resist this sweet boy?

[simpingland]

Hiii I love your writing and I would love to request a Jace fic!! Tbh I don’t really have anything super specific in mind (I’ll literally take anything at this point, the jacaerys tags are so dead). Maybe something with a shy!jacaerys? Idk honestly whatever you want!!!!

Giants and other tiny things.// Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!reader.

When an invitation arrives from Casterly Rock, Jace will need the help of Daemon's ward. The lady, much more sociable and simple, will accept, despite (or precisely because) she is in love with him.

A/N: thank you for reaching me!!!! I loved to write this, specially making Jace shy, cuz it makes a lot of sense to me that he can be a bit of a cinnamon roll whenever he's far from his duties. Hope you like it❤️

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Jacaerys Velaryon went down in history as a prince of great skill and talent for alliances. A dark-haired Targaryen who made his mother proud. Even in his own time, the lords of Westeros heard these rumours of his honour and talent. And it was true that he had a hand at diplomacy, but he was not so brave with people his own age. And when Prince Daemon took a ward to Dragonstone, the young lady was surprised to see a Jace with a facility for blushing, but difficulty crossing glances or even speaking without stuttering And the young lady never missed an opportunity to tease him.

In the lessons you shared together, you didn't hesitate to ask him the same question over and over again, as if you didn't quite understand what the patient Prince was explaining. The smile you and Luke exchanged when he practised his Valyrian made him even more awkward. He would sometimes 'slap' you with a piece of paper, making you laugh and ultimately dismissed from the class. And later in the day, Jace would quietly pass you his notes, feeling guilty. You liked to sit too close to him, putting your arm over his books to watch him move slyly, trying not to get a reprimand from the Septa for making too much physical contact. And when no one was looking, you would write absurd phrases and drawings in his notes and watch him shake his head, hiding a shy smile. Rarely, too afraid to be seen, Jace would write back, but not on your notes, but on your hand. Words like "tosser," "arse," and always, always, he would leave a heart so badly done that the insult was ridiculous and childish. Your soul fell a little bit out of you every time you had to erase it. Already in the first months as a ward, you had felt too much attracted to the prince. A terrible mistake, for he would be betrothed to some important lady, and your House was not big enough to negotiate a marriage.

Besides, Jace would never want you that way. Your nature was totally contrary to his. So you thought that teasing him on a daily basis would be a good way to change his image in your own mind. But it ended up having the opposite result. When you felt his gaze from afar, you needed to be prepared to look back at him, for those eyes would stay with you for nights on end. And when you looked back at him, you always ended up daring him to go on. He, of course, never did, immediately averting his eyes. His flushed cheeks when at dinner Luke would mention how clumsy he'd been during training were so cute...and you couldn't help but peek in during those training sessions, where he'd show up in confidence with his little brother. He handled the sword like a toy, making clacking noises and trying to keep it in his palm with balance. And that smile... the one that always followed with a little laugh.

He was always good to you. As soon as you arrived, Rhaena and Luke welcomed you with confidence, too much perhaps. There were three ways to hang out with them, goofing around and joking together (and Jace was always the main target), putting up with their childish and not-so-childish fights (as they were both looking forward to getting married in the future) or putting up with their honeyed and romantic words. And the fights were fun for you, not so much for Jace. It was the latter that was unbearable. You were a total outcast, and Jace would then let you sit with him wherever he was. You could tell when you were bored because you'd start to be forcibly nice for the first ten minutes. Then Jace would say something that was worthy of mockery like he was so well trained with his sword that he could kill a giant right then and there. And he could see your sweet, sympathetic girl side disappear as you laughed at his exaggerated self-confidence.

"I was joking, clearly," he tried to correct himself.

"Yeah, clearly..." you kept laughing, resting your hand on his shoulder without realising it. "A little confidence is, fine, but you mustn't overdo it."

"I was joking, ok? Giants don't even exist."

"They do exist." You said it with such sudden seriousness that Jace was a little startled and stifled a smile.

"No. They don't exist."

"They do exist, and they're on the other side of the wall."

"Have you even seen them?" He raised an eyebrow, a crooked grin. But you were wiser.

"No, but I haven't been to the other side of The Wall either. And I don't know anyone who has, so I won't accept any empty assertions. Have you been to the other side of The Wall?" You folded your arms. And Jace's little laugh echoed through your head for the rest of the day.

The prince shook his head and pushed you aside affectionately. And you spent the afternoon talking about various creatures that Jace could never compare to his beloved dragons.

Jason Lannister's first male grandson would celebrate his name day in a small but important ceremony. As the future heir to the richest house in the Seven Kingdoms after the Velaryons, they wished for Rhaenyra to go. The Princess declined, and with an excuse, asked Jace to go in her place. After all, the grandson was closer in age to Jace than to her, and having suffered enough with the Lannisters, her son must begin to see what lay ahead. Of course, to his mother, Jace said only that he would do so without protest, but in the privacy of the young friends feeding the dragons, he begged Luke to join him.

"No way. If it seems boring to you, the most 'proper' person I know, then I can't imagine what kind of nightmare you want to drag me into."

"It doesn't have to be boring. I just don't want to go alone... I don't know what to prepare for, it's a..."

"Party?" Rhaena finished for him.

"Yes... Please, Luke, come with me, you know how to make friends better than I do." Jace was about to get down on his knees with his begging.

"That's true, but I don't want to. Lannisters don't make good friends. Besides, you should learn these things on your own. We shouldn't be your only friends."

"Do you have other friends?" He asked him wryly. When you and Rhaena laughed, Jace turned to you both and then you immediately knew you'd made a mistake.

"What about you, ladies? Please...maybe you meet a nobleman of your liking..."

"I'm already betrothed!" Rhaena quickly excused herself, leaving you all alone.

"I can't, I have to..." as you made up an excuse, Jace's eyes narrowed on you. He seemed to be bracing himself for another refusal and his expression made him even more handsome. "...Alright."

It would be a lie if you said you weren't nervous. Not only did you have to choose an appropriate dress, you also had to fly with Jace to get there. Either that or spend a week in a carriage. That second option, as much as you shouldn't, was the one you wanted most. But Rhaenyra wanted the Lannisters not to forget that dragons still existed and that their future king was a good rider. When you mounted Vermax, Jace seemed more nervous than you. Luke, Daemon and Rhaenyra had already let you fly with them on their dragons, and the feeling was fantastic, and you didn't expect any different now. Of course, being so close to Jace was something that seemed to make him uncomfortable, and you tried not to tighten your grip too much. The ride was short, and the skies were calm, so you both enjoyed spectacular views, his speed allowing you to keep your hands loosely on his shoulders. You let Jace tell you everything he had studied about the places you were gazing at, and there was a moment when he fell completely silent.

"Jace?" You asked. "Have you seen anything?"

"No, I just...I thought you weren't listening." He tilted his head a little to try to look at you.

"Well, I am. So go on."

You saw a smile appear as he looked straight ahead again, and continued with his stories. The stories could be boring, they were always about offended men killing other offended men and marrying their orphaned daughters. But Jace told them with such devotion that it was much better than when the Maester sat you down to write such stories. And though you knew most of them already, Jace made new sense of it all.

The young Lannister invited a few more young men, and you were struck by the "austerity" of the dinner. Few were the lords of their houses, for they were all about as young as you and Jace. Of course, the most important guest was Jace, and to your chagrin, there was only one other woman. Beside you stood the young hair of House Tully, as tall as he was dull, and the boy of House Tarth, as short as he was annoying. You could see Jace's face with that serious expression he wore when he tried to be diplomatic, but the Lannister's stupid, disinterested tone made him look out of place. You couldn't help him in the conversation because the heir of Tarth kept making noise, fiddling with his knife as he epically narrated his way of cutting the steak. Jace saw your irritation and sent you a sympathetic glance. You made a not-so-disguised mimicry with your knife as if you now wanted to stick the knife into the boy. The poor prince opened his eyes wide, fearing you had been seen.

"Will you be quiet now, Lord Bryndemere?" The voice of the young Lady Glover rang out loudly, startling everyone. Her dark dress full of leathers and metals gave her a more dignified air than many of the other men there. Of course, the boy stopped and you saw how he was almost on the verge of tears, but you felt no pity at all. And from the smiles of the guests, you were not the only one who was grateful. When the music began, you lost all faith that you could hear Jace's conversation, and when the young Lannister yawned undisguised, the Prince's disappointment broke your heart.

Since you were both bored, you decided to entertain yourself as you did at home. Under the table, your foot slyly groped the floor until you found one of Jace's feet and stepped on it. You didn't hurt him, but he gave you a furtive glance as he quickly moved his feet away. You just smiled at him and shrugged. You did it again, and then again, until Jace couldn't help but retaliate, and wanted to step on you again. Of course, he was more brutish, and when he stepped on you, your smile disappeared as you held back a whimper. Jace panicked for a second, but when you stomped him back, all his pity disappeared.

"Is something wrong, my Prince?" the Lannister asked.

"What? No, no." Jace blushed. He was about to let you win. He didn't. He threw his foot against yours again, but you got lucky.

"What in the seven hells?" Lord Tully snapped angrily. They all turned to him. Jace went white, and before he had to have an even worse time, you decided to lie.

"A rat!"

And you sowed panic with your lie. Everyone rose from their chairs, the braver ones keeping their distance from the table as you scanned the floor for the rodent. The not-so-brave climbed into their chairs, and those in question were little Bryndemere of Tarth and the Lannister himself. Lady Glover picked up her knife confidently, and approached you.

"Where has it gone?" she asked you. For a moment you found it hard to continue the lie, too pleased with the result. But acting was also fun for you.

"I don't know, I just saw it running around!" Your exaggerated tone was more than familiar to Jace and you watched as he tried to pretend he was looking for the rat when in truth he was chuckling under his breath.

The dinner ended there and then, partly because of the rat and partly (and largely) because of the host's embarrassment. You retired to the room that had been prepared for you, and alone you laughed at the events. There were two beds, and the room itself looked like a small house that no peasant could afford. And while Jace was taking off his boots, you were taking off your troublesome dress in your room.

"I have to admit, little Lord Tarth has given me some pity," Jace said from his bed.

"That's because you haven't had him beside you. Lady Glover is my new heroine. I'll compose odes to her." Your response made him laugh.

"You're way too dramatic."

You walked out of the room, your hair already down. And you watched as Jace had also settled in, sitting on his bed and somewhat surprised to see you for the first time with your hair just the way it was.

"I may be too dramatic, in fact, it is a talent, but I've saved you from making a very awkward apology, Jacaerys." You put your hands on your waist, feigning offense.

"You're right." He rose from the bed. "Thank you."

He was back to that diplomatic tone.

"Oh, Jace, it was nothing. It's been fun, we should lie more often. Now do me a favour and help me get the sleeves off my dress."

You turned away, hiding your own blush. You didn't want to call a maid for something as simple as undoing buttons, but you already knew your arms wouldn't reach and you weren't smart enough to think of another dress. Besides, that one looked spectacular on you. You felt Jace come up behind you, and by the way he hesitated before putting his hands behind your back you knew he was nervous too.

"I wasn't talking about the rat..." his fingers were precise, not clumsy at all, and he paid attention to what he was doing, carefully releasing your sleeves. "Thank you for making this fun. Sometimes I'm too serious...but you're not. And I don't- I don't mean that offensively, I mean...you're fun, and young and light. And I feel like you rub off on me, and that with you I'm a version of me where everything is easier."

He finished undoing each button and didn't pull away. You turned to look at him and watched as his eyes travelled from the floor to your eyes. You couldn't help but touch him, your hand seemed to travel to his face on its own, and your fingers caressed his cheek, so clean-shaven and with those pronounced cheekbones. Who could deny the authenticity of Jace "Targaryen"? No one who had seen him in person, of course.

"The politics make men old and ugly, I'm just looking out for your good looks..." you joked, and felt his dimple in your hand. "I know you have too much pressure on you. We all know that, and forgive me if Luke and I ever go too far."

"Easy...I like your jokes. They make me feel smart when the maesters tell you off. I like every little thing you say to me and every idea you have in that weird but strangely beautiful mind of yours."

Okay, this was a little payback from Jace. For it was you now who wanted to pull away and push him away, unable to contain your blushes and wanting to scream at his words. And he could see it, because Jace was smart and attentive, but he didn't expect your reaction. You quickly pulled your hand away from his face, but no one could wipe the smile off your face.

"Wow..." was all you could think of.

"I've never seen you at a loss for words before," he joked.

"I'm not used to so much...appreciation."

"But...you like this 'appreciation'?"

"Yes...I liked it. And I'm not as good with words as you."

Jace took your hand and looked at it, carefully touching the rings that decorated it.

"Well, one thing I've always admired about you is that you always come up with something without needing to use too many words."

And then he looked into your eyes with all the confidence he had always lacked. And your body and mind stopped struggling to get that one thing you had always dreamed of and had forbidden yourself. You threw yourself to his lips, and you felt Jace release your hand to pull your body closer, holding your waist. His lips were so full that it felt so much better than you had imagined, and Jace was slow, enjoying the quietness of the room. When you pulled apart, Jace seemed to realise what had just happened, and you immediately felt terrible. After all, you weren't his fiancée.

"I'm sorry..." you said, pulling away.

"Didn't you like it?" he asked, searching for your face.

"Yes! Yes, I liked it..." you reassured him. "I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"Get your hopes up?"

"I've dreamed of this kiss since the day I met you. But even then I knew someone like you wouldn't marry me. I'd probably marry some common lord like little Bryndemere. And you know, no matter what, I'll be happy as long as I don't get to marry a Tully. He'll bore me to death."

You laughed to yourself, trying to hide the true sorrow you felt at your own reality. This kiss would be one of many that Jace would receive from multiple ladies, when you were already far away, locked in some castle and married to someone other than him. You had already gotten used to the idea, and that kiss was at once as broad and grand as it was scant and short. Now it was Jace who caressed your face.

"I will not allow you to marry Bryndemere. I couldn't bear to live out my days knowing you were away, trying to stab a child. And I won't let you marry a Tully, either, because I know you'd be kicked out of the castle on the third day. I think you'd better stay by my side."

Then he kissed you again, stroking your hair and pulling you even closer that before. You slept in his bed, where you spent the night talking about things that didn't matter, and about things that did. Morning came and you found yourself alone in the bed, Jace was up early and when you came down to say goodbye, he was already waiting for you outside. Before you left, Lady Glover stopped you in the middle of your way.

"Are you the girl who likes giants so much?" she asked you, frowning but in a much kinder tone than you had heard her the night before.

"Yes, you could say they intrigue me..." that was the most correct answer.

"Well, just so you know, my father and Lord Stark travelled to the wall a few years ago. And my father brought home a giant skull. Giants are hard to kill, but they're not immortal...my mother hates to see it in the living room, but I like it, it's creepy." She sniffed air and waited for you to react. When you gawked she gave you a dirty look.

"Giants do exist?"

"Are you deaf? I just told you they do."

"I'm sorry, it's just that... you just made me so happy. I just won so many arguments, my lady." If you could have, you would have hugged her, but the girl wasn't very encouraging.

"Well... now I understand why the Prince asked me to tell you. Anyway, you southern people are so cynical. You can come to see the skull any time, but I warn you, there might be rats in the castle as well."

And she left. When you arrived at Vermax the Prince had already mounted and was smiling at you expectantly. He helped you up and this time you were not afraid to cling to his back, your hands on his chest and your face between his neck and shoulder.

"If Princess Rhaenyra does not let me marry you, Jacaerys Velaryon, I will become the most hateful and irritating lady in the Seven Kingdoms."

"Rest assured, the Princess will not let the heir of Tarth be in danger."

And with a gentle punch on the shoulder, Jace laughed and turned to kiss you sweetly on the lips before ordering Vermax to rise.

[myosotisa]

Half Life - e.m.

Eddie Munson x Reader, Jim Hopper & Reader

‖  summary: Four known responses to panic - flight, fight, fawn, and freeze. You used to alternate between three depending on what the situation called for. Now that Eddie is back and in danger again, it feels like all you're capable of doing anymore is fighting.

‖  tags: hurt/comfort, heavy angst with a happy ending. post season 4 vol 2 (eddie lives). hospital setting but no graphic descriptions of anything medical, grief, unresolved trauma, PTSD responses. violence (street fight), mentions of blood, broken knuckles. a single gunshot (aimed at the sky). shithead town of Hawkins meet traumatized young adults. ACAB!!!!!!! Hopper helps (platonically). no y/n, no pronouns, reader is referred to as a bitch, princess, angel, and an attack dog. this came to me in a vision and i spat out line after line like a prophet.

‖  word count: 2.8k

Since the moment Eddie was extracted from the Upside Down, you have been hovering. Non-stop, constantly vigilant of where he was and who was with him.

You were already just a heap of exposed nerves after everything the group had been through and, after thinking you’d lost him, you were not about to lose him again.

When he was in the hospital, handcuffed to his bed even though he couldn’t have gone anywhere even if he wanted to, you stayed. Days you stayed. Wayne and Steve and Nancy would come by, begging you to leave just for a few hours, but you couldn’t. If you weren’t watching him, he might be gone again. As long as you were there, as long as you could hold his hand and wipe the sweat off his brow, then he was okay. He was alive.

One time Steve tried to forcibly remove you, thinking he was helping, and you’d lashed out at him like a feral animal. Kicked and scratched until he let you go. You’d immediately apologized profusely, begged for his forgiveness as you helped him clean the scratches. He forgave you so easily, more than you deserved, and just explained he didn’t want to lose you too.

After that, you allowed yourself to sleep in one of the chairs in the hospital room as long as someone else was there. If Steve, or Nancy, or Wayne, or Jonathan, or Hopper, or Joyce was watching over him, you could sleep.

At least, until the nightmares came back.

When he woke up for the first time, you were there. Happy tears springing to your eyes and hands hovering all over him as he sleepily blinked his eyes open and tried to reach for your hand. You met him halfway, squeezing hard to let him know you were there – he was alive. And left to go call Wayne with the good news.

It was one of the only times you had left. At all.

When you came in with a relieved smile, ready to tell him Wayne was coming, there was a police officer standing beside the bed, bent over toward him. Eddie looked even paler than he had when you left, trying to put on a brave face despite the way his speech was still slurred and it seemed like he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Hey!” Your voice was sharp, silver tipped as you marched forward, smile gone and scowl in place. The officer shifted slightly toward you as he turned, giving you just enough space to force yourself between him and Eddie. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Ma’am,” he said, condescension dripping from his mouth like poison, looking down his nose at you. “Mr. Munson is the main suspect in a series of gruesome murders and remains an extremely dangerous individual. I suggest you back away.”

His teeth clenched, an internal war going on behind his eyes. You took another step forward, eyes narrowing into a glare as you spit in his face, “Now get the fuck out of here before I call the sheriff and you lose your shiny little badge.”

The animal came back, lips turning up in a snarl as you took a menacing step closer. He must’ve sensed the danger because he took a step back on instinct. “I suggest you get some fucking proof and a goddamn warrant before you come back here and threaten a man who woke up from a coma 30 minutes ago.”

This seems to amuse him, a huff of air coming out of his nose. “On what grounds?”

Your snarl turns sharp, mouth turning up like you’re so glad that he asked. “When I tell him you did this to me.”

Lifting the sleeve of your shirt, you showed him the heavy bruising of a handprint there, leftover wounds from battles that were healing too slowly. He faltered slightly, eyes moving from the bruising to your wild look. “I didn’t do that, you can’t pin that on me.”

“Oh yeah?” You took another step forward, he took another step back. “And who will they believe Officer Courtney? You? Or me?”

“Are you okay?” Your hand came up to his jaw, panicked eyes searching his tired face.

The sudden dose of fear he showed soothed the animal as he muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like ‘psycho bitch’ before turning on his heel and walking away. You watched him go until he disappeared before you turned toward Eddie, looking him over for new wounds.

Eddie’s head shifted slightly in a nod, eyes drifting closed again as he almost nuzzled into your hand. “Yeah, Angel. I’m okay.”

“I’d burn this whole fucking town to the ground before I let anyone hurt you again.”

That night, when the floor was almost silent, the only light being the one above his hospital bed, he held your hand and tearfully explained that he was afraid. He was confused, on heavy painkillers, handcuffed, vulnerable. Someone from the town would try to kill him, mess up his dosing on purpose, smother him with a pillow, anything they could if they got their hands on him.

“As long as they think I did those things, they will never leave me alone.”

The paranoia got worse. Eddie still slept the majority of the days, only having a handful of waking hours, and you watched. It was back to the beginning – you didn’t sleep, you barely ate, you were terrified to even leave just to go to the bathroom.

I’d stepped away for just a few minutes to make a call and they could’ve taken him from me.

Wayne begged you just to sleep, to eat, to take a shower, to do something other than sit in that chair beside his bed and glare at anyone new who even tried to get close to him. You couldn’t – you couldn’t do it – couldn’t leave him.

By sheer luck, the next time someone from the sheriff’s office came by to question Eddie, Hopper was with you.

He had never once tried to force you to do anything. Hadn’t asked you to leave or sleep. When he came to visit, all he did was bring a bunch of food (with hopes you might eat it), sit down beside you, and watch. Sometimes the two of you talked, sometimes you didn’t. You knew very little about what happened to him in Russia. He didn’t want to talk about it. That was fine with you.

Hopper was the only one who made you feel like maybe your shoulders weren’t made of stone. Maybe you didn’t have to keep your teeth razor sharp and primed to kill. Maybe you could eat some food, take a nap in your chair.

When the officers walked in, you were already gearing to jump to your feet, snapping jaws at the ready, but a heavy hand hit your forearm. Wait, it told you. Hold your fire.

“Gentlemen,” the pair of officers straightened up. His tone still held authority and they had been on the force long enough to still know who he is. Who he was. “What can we do for you?”

“We have some questions for Mr. Munson related to the murders.”

As if sensing even the smallest twitch of your muscles, or maybe it was just instinct from one predator to another, his palm pressed harder. Wait. 

“As you can see, he’s resting right now and it would be against his doctor’s orders to wake him.” His voice was lethal calm. Where you were fire, fight, and flame, Hopper was cold, silent, and deadly. Russian snow and prison cruelty sunken into his very bones.

“It will only be a few minutes,” one of them assured, almost mockingly, like they didn’t give a damn what his doctor had to say. “And if he is innocent, then he should have nothing to hide.”

There was a little bit more back and forth but both officer’s departed, leaving Eddie peacefully asleep in his bed, tattooed arm draped over his stomach. When Hopper removed his hand, it had you crumbling. Breaking down, shuttering, and collapsing inward. Strong arms, stable arms, deadly arms, wrapped around your shoulders as you started to cry. Started to sob your broken heart out.

You inhaled sharply through your teeth as the officer's eyes flicked to you almost nervously. Munson’s attack dog, they’d called you when they thought no one could hear. Attack dog was right. You were looking for any excuse to tear their fucking throats out with your teeth.

Hopper’s fingertips pressed in harder. Wait, they instructed again through touch alone. “Innocent until proven guilty, isn’t that the ol’ saying boys?” His mouth turned up in a dry smile as theirs turned to frowns. He was an enemy now, against them. But while Eddie was wounded and you were an arrest waiting to be made if you so much as touched them – Hopper was impenetrable. Untouchable. An American hero brought back to life. There was nothing they could do to him.

You hadn’t broken down like this since they pulled him out.

Hopper just held your head to his shoulder, let you soak his t-shirt in tears, held you as you cried, and cried, and cried. Thank you’s poured from your gasping lungs, endless and slurring as you fisting your fingers in him. Thank you for being alive, thank you for being here, thank you for protecting him, thank you for stopping me.

From that day forward, you would allow yourself to leave the hospital if you knew Hopper was going to be there.

You slept in a bed for the first time in who knows how long. Changed into real clothes. Ate a home cooked meal that Joyce brought to you. You still ended up at the hospital every day, but when Hopper was there, you could find just a little bit of peace. He would keep Eddie safe. You knew that without a doubt.

Wayne could be pushed over with enough force, the other members of the group were still barely adults and had little room to fight, but Hopper (and probably Joyce) were just as determined as you.

You will get to this man over my dead body.

A late night with Hopper had you talking. Well after midnight, just the two of you, unable or unwilling to sleep, the two of you talked more than you had over any of the other days. “Didn’t you dislike Eddie? He was a drug dealer, constantly in and out of trouble.” You’d asked him, fingers running through the ends of the subject’s curly hair as he slept.

“Dislike? No. He fucked up a lot. Maybe more than some other kids. But… He’s not a bad guy. I had my moments where I thought he might be, but when the kids explained everything he’d done for them… A bad guy doesn’t do shit like that for his friends.”

And it almost looked like he was going to smile.

The day they okay’d Eddie’s release to Wayne’s custody – on the grounds he didn’t leave the trailer unless he was requested to by the sheriff – you, Steve, Nancy, and Hopper were all there. Hopper hung back, chain smoking by Wayne’s truck as the rest of you helped Eddie get discharged and into a wheelchair to get to the truck.

You were barely a few feet out the door when a group began to approach. Basketball players – the remaining members of Jason’s hit squad and two others. “Hey!” One of them called as they walked up, like they’d been told when he was going to be discharged. “We’ve got a bone to pick with you, Munson.”

You and Steve stepped out, putting yourself between the group of four and the others, while Nancy assisted Wayne in pushing a drugged out Eddie towards the car faster. “You don’t wanna do this, Josh.” Steve started, ever the diplomat.

“Oh yeah, Harrington?” He snarked back, hand twisting at the baseball bat he had resting on his shoulder. “And why’s that?”

“He’s innocent, man,” Josh and Andy rolled their eyes, elbowing the others like ‘get a load of this guy’. “He didn’t kill Chrissy, or Patrick, or Jason. Or anyone.”

“Just get out of the way, has-been,” Andy barked, taking a few steps closer. “Don’t make us beat you down too, like that picture taking loser who stole your girlfriend.”

Steve’s jaw clenched as he held his ground. Andy took a few steps closer, the others on his tail, and you stepped up. He laughed, looking you up and down as they slowed their approach. “And who are you, princess? Another one of Munson’s followers?”

He laughed again, waving you out of his way like a fly. “That’s cute, now get the fuck out of the way before you get hurt.”

“You don’t need to know who I am,” your voice was white hot fire, inhuman to your own ears as you spoke. One of the guys hesitated when you locked eyes with him. Weak link. “The only thing you need to know is that you should turn around if you want to leave here with your balls still intact.”

Andy was bigger than you, stronger than you, but he was on the ground before any of them could process you were on the move. Your fist swung, knuckles cracking against his jaw as he groaned. A pair of hands grabbed you from behind, pulling you off of him. An arm came around your shoulders and you bit hard. Pennies hitting your tongue as the hold faltered, falling completely when you stamped your heel back on their foot.

The animal lunged.

Before they could recover, you took one step forward and swung your boot into the space between Andy’s legs, showing absolutely no mercy in the act. He screamed out in a high pitch, immediately curling into a ball on the concrete below you.

Hands grabbed at you again, arms hooking through yours and pinning them down. You kicked out, throwing your legs forward and back while you struggled as hard as you physically could to break the hold. Ahead of you, Steve had Josh pinned to the floor, blood on his knuckles, but then Josh had them flipped, his own fist coming down instead. Steve needed your help, Eddie needed your help, the guys behind were struggling to hold you, losing their grip. You thrashed harder, nearly dislocating your own shoulder as you fought against them, dragging you further away from Steve who was trying to get the upper hand again.

They need you, they need you, they need you–

A gunshot rang out and everyone froze.

Hopper stood a few feet away, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a pistol aimed high in the air. “Now how about everyone calm down for a few minutes, ‘kay?”

The hands dropped you unexpectedly, sending you to your knees. The animal was ready to jump, to go, to fight but was frozen by blue eyes pinning you to the ground. Wait, they told you in a heavy gaze. Hold your fire.

Another set of harsh words from Hopper had the boys retreating, licking their wounds and helping Andy to his feet before they all piled into a station wagon and peeled out of the parking lot. Steve ran the back of his hand over his split lip and you spit someone else’s blood out onto the concrete as you slowly got to your feet. You approached Hopper, preparing for a different kind of fight – for a scolding, for disapproval.

His face was emotionless until you were right in front of him. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it to the ground, crushing it under his boot. The gun was gone again, probably into some concealed holster. He held out his hand and you looked at it confused until he grabbed at your arm and brought your own hand up to his eyes.

“Broke two knuckles,” he informed you, thumb pressing to the bones as you hissed out through your teeth. He let your hand drop and tucked his own into his pockets. “Gotta learn how to throw a punch properly.”

And then he turned to walk back toward the car. Not another word between you.

Steve clapped you on the back, bringing you back to reality as he murmured something about the fight. He trailed you over to Wayne’s truck that sat running by the hospital sidewalk. You ripped open the back door, stepping up on the rail as Eddie twisted toward you, a dopey smile on his face.

“Hey Angel,” he said, syrupy sweet and reaching out, “Are you okay?”

You had two broken knuckles and your mouth tasted like blood. There was a wild animal loose in you that you could barely control. You had half a mind to go after all of those fucking cowards and hunt them down. There was so much rage and fear and pain and it felt like it was choking you.

A strong hand gripped your shoulder from behind, fingertips digging in. Hold your fire.

You smiled at him as tears sprung to your eyes, taking his hand in your unhurt one and intertwining your fingers. “I’m okay, Eds. Everything will be okay.”

-

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thanks for reading!! please reblog and leave a reaction if you liked it, they make my day <3

[liquidluckandstuff]

Thanks for the tag!, @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts @alenablack

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Darlings and Dragons:

This is my main fic and the one I put the most thought and effort into. I take so long with it because I really really want it to be perfect. Its the first thing that i've ever had that made me feel like a real fanfic author. It is completely self serving and nerdy and filled with a bunch of drama and shenanigans and of course Romance and Dragons.

I've had a long personal character growth in OCs. Like i used to personally refuse to write them because I just didn't get them. Now Dorryn can be pried from my room temperature corpse. I love him. I love to hate him. and It's been so fun having the freedom to just create and write him however I want to.

There will be so much more adventure and fun times and romance and I can't wait to write it and hopefully you will like it too.

Sunrise and Reality:

I love Voldemort and Harry in a father/ son scenario just as much as i love other thinks 😉 This originally started as just a fun little wandavisino scenario that didn't really feel like it was going anywhere. It was one of those things where it was like... yeah i love it but also i have OTHER things to write and if no one else cares then i really dont wanna put in any effort into it so i kind of stopped the first one.

Well, it turned out that people DID care so i fixed up the first version and now i have a whole as story that has regular updates. I love it so much and I know its not everyone's cup of tea but its been one of the best things i've ever written and i've been just having the best time with it. 😭

This was my submission piece that went with @daddymortfest for 2024

His Brave Boy:

it was my first attempt at a daddmort fic. I wasn't too sure how to do it except i knew it had to have some heartbreak and horcrux vibes. This was my piece for the @daddymortfest 2023

Tides of Temptation :

This is going to be my fest piece for the @fanged-fate-fest for 2024. I can't talk about it too much, but just know that it has mermaids and body horror. Its been a challenge to work on because i've been having to come up with some new rules to magic and an entirely new world

He lives at the End

This was my first attempt at Horror and it was a complete and utter flop 😂 It holds a special place in my heart though because it was my first try and i feel like i've gotten a lot better since i did this.

Tagging @laserswordtraining @temporary-temporal-temper @cloverwoodss

[instafic-for-readers]

₊˚ ⚽ ♡ ₊˚ Coach Seo ₊˚ ♡ ⚽️ ₊˚

Seo Changbin x GN!Reader

NonIdol!AU | SMAU | Written | Fluff | Rom-Com

Set 15 years after they left school, Y/N and Changbin redescover thier 'friendship'... The local football coach, Changbin has had his fair share of experience with handling teenage angst. As a single-parent of three teens, Y/N is getting lonely - maybe Changbin can change that?

₊˚ ⚽ ♡ ₊˚ Coach Seo ₊˚ ♡ ⚽️ ₊˚ M.list | Main M.List

————

Chapter Eight: Glass Of Wine 🍷

————

With the oldest two out of the house until the next day, Y/N was feeling excited about thier date with Changbin. Seonghwa was on his way over to help them get ready and take Otto with him when Y/N leaves.

"I think the second one, its not too casual but for the type of date you're going on it works well." Seonghwa said. The pair was deciding on what Y/N was to wear, a stressful situation to say the least.

"But the first one is more fancy, no?"

"You didn't want fancy, remember!" Y/N sighed but nodded at Seonghwa's reminder. They entered the bathroom putting on the clothes and getting ready, exiting after finishing their hair.

"You look great!" Seonghwa complimented, it wasn't often Y/N would dress up these days,

"Yeah! You look good!" Otto piped up, having entered the room while Y/N was in the bathroom.

"Thank you, and thank you, sweetheart." Y/N couldn't help but gush - thier son was the cutest (Y/N hoped he would never grow out of it).

-

20 minutes later, a knock sounded on the front door. Seonghwa made sure Otto had his overnight bag fully packed as Y/N grabbed thier belongings before opening the door. Changbin stood, looking gorgeous as always, with a smile on his face.

"Hey, you look great! Are you ready to go?" He asked, Y/N smiled.

"Yeah, two seconds let me get Hwa and Otto out." said pair walked up behind Y/N ready to leave. Y/N turned to thier son,

"Be good for Hwa, okay? I'll see you tomorrow, have fun!" Otto hugged them before nodding at Changbin and pulled Seonghwa out of the door with him.

-

Y/N and Changbin enter the resturant, a lowkey but nice one, and are seated near the back. Ordering thier food and drinks while talking about thier weeks, Y/N had been doing overtime at work due to systems going down at the leisure centre and Changbin had to deal with a fight between very overzealous parents on game day. They laughed together and finished their meal before leaving for the cinema.

The film was a comedy and the pair had a great time talking about it on the way back to Y/N home. Standing at the door, Y/N came to the desision that they didn't want the date to end just yet,

"Do you wanna come in for a little while?" they braved, Changbins face lit up.

"Yeah, sure!" Sitting on the sofa, continuing thier conversation for a while - a glass of wine in hand. Slowly they seemed to be getting closer and closer, too into the other to notice the change in atmosphere around them. With thier faces only a few cm's apart, Changbin braved a question,

"Can I kiss you?" Y/N could only grin and nod. The kiss felt like pure magic, like it had always been on the cards and finally the prophecy had come to fruition (and lets be honest this had been a part of the plot since school). Pulling away they couldn't help but stay close and cuddle in a comfortable silence until Changbin had to take his leave.

-

That night both of them slept peacefully knowing they had something good, and hopefull for the future...

————

₊˚ ⚽ ♡ ₊˚ Coach Seo ₊˚ ♡ ⚽️ ₊˚ M.list | Ch. Nine

If you want to be added to a tag list lmk!

(If you have asked to be put on the tag list I will be tagging you here first just so I can keep track of tags over the series!)

@feybin | @kypopkypop | @soupbinlily

{If you're crossed out it won't tag for some reason :(}

(Warning: I don’t actually ship idols/band-mates together, it’s just for subplots!)

[lovejosephquinn]

This is a requested sequel to my first angst imagine: Your First And Last Fight ◀ Read Part 1.

Tags: @chickennug90 @mybffjoe @sweet-villain @aysheashea @ali-r3n

(I'm sorry lmao, I got extremely carried away and 3.4k words later, it's finished. Enjoy the drama lovelies!)

Part 2.

It had been a whole month since you and Joe had parted ways that unforgettable night, regrettably that was the last time you'd seen him when you left him sobbing on the ground. You'd moped around both at home and work, not putting your all into anything, the memory of the whole event just repeating in your mind over and over again. Of course, he'd still tried messaging you in the first couple of weeks but that died down the more you ignored, you just simply couldn't move on from the hurtful words or painful gestures; even just the thought of his ex-girlfriend made you want to hurl your organs out of your mouth, it'd clearly broken your heart.

You'd got no plans this weekend, other than to lay in your own filth and watch a string of senseless romantic comedies, a thing you tended to hate to love right now. Your phone buzzed at the side of you, glancing down it was your best friend calling, putting your device up to your ear you took a deep breath in and put your brave voice on.

"Hey girl, you alright?"

"Yes, just wondering if you were, haven't heard from you in days and was making sure that you're still living."

"Just had a lot on my plate, you know this." The brave voice slowly disappearing.

"Well, I hate to drop this on you." She purely didn't hate to do anything. "But we're going out tonight and you can't say no, you need to let your hair down and forget that idiot for one night at least." The idiot comment was her insinuating Joe in a rather nice tone, just due to the fact she was holding in her rage for what he did and the other reason that was she just didn't want to give you any ammunition to decline.

"I don't know honey, I'm nowhere near the stages of getting ready."

"I'll be round in half an hour, and we'll get you looking hot."

She gave you no room to get a word in, hung up the phone and you scoffed, throwing your phone down to your feet where you laid and rubbed your hands over your face. Looks like you're going out tonight.

Your best friend did just as she said she would, you felt good about yourself for the first time in a while, the drinks you'd shared and the shots you knocked back at your flat gave you your initial new happier and confident feeling. She'd suggested your favourite nightclub whilst you got ready, it only took the name of it to prick up your ears and grab your attention; you were ready for tonight.

The booming of the music got closer as you got to the doors of the club and you could've jumped up and down like an excited child, you were ready to drink yourself silly, sing and dance with your main girl like a loon. You'd worry about the inevitable depression hangover tomorrow. The first point of call was tequila shots, the second was the buy one get one free offer on any cocktail of your choice from the menu, the thing with cocktails is that you don't feel it at first and then the next thing you know you're on the floor.

Little did you know that you were instantly sighted by Joe's best friend, he'd obviously had the same idea in taking him out whilst he had some free time to make him feel better also and it oh so happened that you were in the same place on the same damn night. Your friend dragged you to the dancefloor once you'd got your beverages. Your guilty pleasure Taylor Swift hit the speakers and the relatable lyrics of I knew you were trouble filled the entirety of your lungs, you sang your heart out to the song, feeling every moment of it.

Joe's best friend had done his best to keep him well away from seeing you but being at least 3 metres away from each other probably didn't help when he heard your friend yell your name laughing at the way you were dramatically yelling the song, she filmed the memory well and truly, your hand to your heart as you held your drink into the air, intentionally meaning every word. Joe whipped his head round to find you immediately, his chest was puffing in and out, heart ached excruciatingly, his lungs were in pain not able to get a proper breath out, his body had become stone, not moving his stance whilst he watched you with tears heavily filling his eyelids.

Not more than a moment later, he felt a sudden mild burst of anger hit him when he saw a guy attempting to dance behind you then leaning over to speak in your ear. Interrupting your dancing, you laughed it off and shook your head at the guy who'd asked you if he could buy you a drink. The male wouldn't leave well enough alone and wouldn't take no for an answer, you tried ignoring him to see if it'd make him give up, it didn't work.

The guy grabbed you by your waist and pulled you into him, trying to convince you further to let him do as he'd originally asked, his intentions clear as you felt that of a vulgar press of his crotch against your stomach. You gagged in his face on his purpose, you weren't out looking for a hook up and he knew that it just pursued his want further for you.

Joe was foaming at the mouth and the moment he heard you shout at him to fuck off was the moment Joe moved at a deadly pace through the few people between you and jumped the guy to the ground, punching him square in the jaw. You couldn't believe your eyes; you didn't want to believe what you were seeing was real. Joe had been positioned to the floor now, being dragged forcefully whilst the male took a swing at his face, a small circle forming in the middle of the dancefloor, egging them both on further. You yelled out Joe's name telling them both to stop, your instant reaction was to try and tear them apart, but Joe's best friend heaved for your arm bringing you back as the security guards dragged them to their feet by the scruffs of their neck.

The two heavily built men caught sight of your fearful face and asked what had happened, you pointed out at the stranger "He started it, he wouldn't leave me alone and my friend came into help me." Friend. You may as well had called him a stranger too, that might have made the suffering of the word easier. Calling him that almost felt good, a moment of succession for you in a way. You said it clear enough for Joe to hear you, a dagger to his heart just as it had been to you when he'd named you his close friend to her.

They let Joe go and took the other guy out of the club, warning him not to bother trying to get back in. Then there it was, you and Joe face to face properly after the first time in a month, the longest most torturing month of both your lives. Joe rubbed his hand under his nose where he bled slightly from, the darkness in his eyes from the rage of the moment was now returning to his soft brown stature. You heaved your chest, staring back at him, ignoring everything and everyone in your path as you walked away in a huff.

You sat on the ledge in the busy smoking area, pulling a cigarette to your lips and lighting it, puffing as hard as your lungs could bare. Your best friend gave Joe an earful but slowly calmed down when she declared for him to go out and attempt to talk to you, that was if you'd listen. You noticed the top of Joe's untamed curls emerging out of the double doors and at once you turned to the side, moving your head and whole body to the opposite side of the door; he still spotted you though hunched up on the ledge by yourself. Joe plucked up the courage to sit down next to you, leaning down slightly cupping his hands together between his spread thighs. All but silence between the two of you at first until he spoke up.

"Y/N, are you going to give me a chance to at least make my peace with you? I-"

You cut him off, swinging around to meet his gaze, almost crashing into his arm, you'd underestimated how close he already was sat next to you. "A chance to make peace? Are you fucking kidding me?" The question was almost laughable.

"I gathered you meant what you said about never speaking again when you ignored my calls and messages, but I can't just leave it where it ended, it's not in me to do that at all."

"I'm pretty sure it was in you when you outright called me a close friend to your ex, proceeded to tell me to stop being a bitch and basically caught her mouth with yours. Was all that an accident to? Or are you still blind to her bullshit." Joe furrowed his brows at you, his head internally screaming. Yes, he knew it was all his fault.

"I'm terrified of her Y/N. I said it because deep down I clearly knew her aim at the time and I just-"

A girl interrupted the two of yours now becoming heated debate, she looked really excited as she stared down at Joe. You looked up as she spoke out. "Oh my god, are you Joseph Quinn?" Joe put his best poker face on, his profession coming into full force as he pulled a toothy grin at the girl. "Yes, hi." She screeched at his answer. You folded your arms watching the two of them speak, not quite jealous but this wasn't the time for this to be happening. The girl looked at you "would you mind taking a photo of us please?" You squeezed your eyes shut and then put a fake smile onto the both of them, standing up to take her phone and took the photo she so solely desired in that moment. She thanked you both, hugging Joe and left, you both sat back in your original positions facing one another.

"As I was saying, you backed down to her like a submissive puppy. You're 28 years old, do you not think acting like you probably did as a teenager is a bit much?" Joe was highly defeated by your statement; he was at a loss for words.

"That's what I thought."

Yet another duo of fans stood before him, intruding once more. He didn't want to seem like a bad person, typical Joe, so he took his attention to them. You clearly weren't getting any further and you'd had enough of it all for one night, sure you still loved him with all your heart and that's what didn't help the situation, you wanted to forgive him and believe that it was a mistake, but Joe's lack of actions proved otherwise.

You got up and left him with the girls, not turning back and finding your friend with Joe's talking at a table. "I'm going to get a taxi home; I really just want to go to sleep and forget this whole night." Your best friend hugged you. "Do you want me to come with?"

"No stop out, I just want to be alone, I'll text you once I'm back." You exchanged your goodbyes giving all but a subtle wave and smile to Joe's friend before you left the club. You walked to the taxi rank, waiting for a vehicle to pull up to take you back to your safe place when you heard an unpleasant and familiar voice shout you from across the street.

"Aw hi Y/N." You looked around to meet the redhead, looking smug and highly unattractive in her body language. His. Fucking. Ex. Really? Could this night get any worse?

You slowly blinked at her, no response to her unwelcomed greeting at all. "What's up with you, you still bitter about last month?"

You snorted a laugh in her face. "How dare you even think you're worth a breath from my lungs, you silly cow." You pushed her slightly, squaring right up into her face; you weren't willing to take another word from the girl and she was shaken, probably down to the fact that any girl that she had been out to ruin with Joe never stood up to her. "A lowlife, disgusting little slut like you should've been taught a lesson a long time ago." You slapped her clean across her cheek and watched her grimace at the sting it caused. A small, fulfilled smile creeping onto your face. Joe had quickly caught up behind you, stopping in his tracks, watching as you struck her, he also noticed how she didn't hit you back. He made the effort to drag himself over, watching you eye each other back and forth like a pair ready to go to war.

Your eyes flitted over to Joe and so did hers, putting her best whiny voice on. "Oh my god Joe, she attacked me, she's an absolute psychopath, did you see it? Did you?"

Joe said nothing, eyeing between you both, proving your point again quite rightly, that was until she tried to embrace him into a hug, and he harshly shoved her away from him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I've given you the benefit of the doubt maybe a couple of times in my life but then you just took it next level, I've always been afraid to be myself around you. Until now. I don't want anything more to do with you, you've ruined my life for the last time." He spoke his home truth like it had been a speech he'd been practicing for weeks. Your mouth gaped open; you couldn't believe what you'd just heard.

She did nothing but huff at Joe and turned back to you. "You'll leave if you know what's good for you." you stated before she could get a word in. "Is that a threat?" she barked nervous laughter, her confidence clearly belittled but still trying to remain intact. "It's a promise." Joe interrupted your final face off.

"She changed you Joe, you used to be so, so-"

"So, your little bitch? maybe. But this is the last time you'll put a foot in my relationship, do you not realise every time I got a girlfriend or even as much as looked at anyone other than you, you'd break it up without even a second thought, I've let you get away with it for 13 years too long, I should've cut you off the moment we broke up." He turned to you, "that's why I referred to you the way I did that night Y/N, purely because I wasn't blind to her intentions anymore." You looked to the ground, almost humiliated by your thoughts.

"So that's it, you cut me out completely?" she raised her voice at Joe, and he nodded vigorously back at her. "I might not get Y/N back from this, but at least she'll know that I got you out of my life for good, you're an absolute headache now get out of my sight."

She stomped her foot to the ground, nothing clearly more to be said and walked away as she should of long before. You took a glance at a proud Joe, and you must admit you were somewhat also elated for him for finally standing up for himself even if it was almost little too late for it. You turned and walked the other way.

"Y/N, where are you going?"

"Home." you shouted back. You took a curtsy at Joe and applauded. "Well done for being all done with her and shit but I don't know if that's enough for me to forgive you anymore."

Joe sped up his feet to grab your arm, swinging you round to look at him. "Do you still love me?"

"Joe."

His hands gripped into your arms now, holding you in place. "Do you still love me Y/N?"

Tears filled your eyes hard as they fell once you blinked, your lips trembled but you didn't try to escape his grasp, his touch was all too familiar and wonderful, you'd missed it.

With a sigh you admitted. "Yes."

"Then one last kiss, goodbye. Please, I know I'm not in a position to beg you for anything, but I need to feel it one last time." He was right, you owed him nothing, but you couldn't stop your feet from raising onto your tiptoes, holding onto his forearms for support as you leaned in to kiss him, it was short and forceful but desperate as your emotions clearly played on it.

You broke the kiss, watching as Joe's tears mirrored yours. "I love you too. I'm so sorry for everything I did and everything she did too. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for not speaking my mind sooner. I'm sorry for ruining what we had in a few words, I'm sorry for giving her the ammunition to break what we had. Most of all, I'm sorry that we have to say goodbye." You couldn't deny his apologies were nothing short of admirable, he'd owned up to everything in one breath.

Your already broken heart could not fathom anymore pain that it already held. You were crazy for your next action, your arms finding the back of his neck as you pulled him back into a needy, open-mouthed kiss. His greedy hands pushed at the bottom of your back to keep you as close as he possibly could. If this truly was the last time, you'd feel one another then you'd make it something to remember.

You were by no means a pushover, but your thoughts overtook you whilst you shared the mutual enjoyment of the kiss, you wondered if giving him a last chance wasn't completely off the table. Your parents had taught you in your life to forgive but not forget until it was absolutely necessary too. You were in no state of mind to get over this man in a hurry and it seemed he wasn't either.

Your mouths parted, but you remained in position, your foreheads pressing together, out of breath from the heated smooch. "Y/N- I" you took a hand from his neck and placed it onto his lips, stopping him from saying another word until you had finished yours. "I'm not ready to say goodbye, it will take a lot of time and effort but if you're willing, there's a last chance being offered to you here and now. Take it or leave it, I just love you so much and I can't stand not having you around, even if it is as your 'close friend'."

Yet another stab at his heart as you brought up his once spoken words again, but he understood. He slowly nodded at you, removing your hand to see a small smile forming against his swollen pink lips. "I will do anything for that chance, my love. I can't lose you."

He pecked at your lips for the third time. "You've got a lot of work to do, Quinn." You edged a smile back to him.

"I've already started." He gestured his head backward to the place you were stood earlier with his ex-girlfriend, he let go of you and lifted you off your feet, carrying you in his arms.

"What are you doing?" you chuckled.

His eyes shut for a second, taking in the warmth of your voice.

"Giving you no reason to doubt me, yours or mine?"

"Yours." you arched the top of your head to rest in the crook of his neck as you held onto him. Your first and last fight truly ending.

[swiftllama]

September Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

Hey guys! Back for another month! A month of a lot of small compliments sprinkled throughout this time around, but we still got quite a few full-on great complimentary moments. One in particular was very special 🥰

So let's get into it...

September 2023

Thinking OUTSIDE The Box (Herd Mentality)

Right off the bat, first day of the month, we got a Games video, and this video actually started off a theme throughout this month. The boys were in quite a few videos where they were playing games this month and were either competing against or working as a team so we got a lot of them complimenting each other on a job well down, plus the bestie-ism was shining through :-

Q: 'Name a brand beginning with an A’

Anthony: "I went to clothing for some reason."

lan: "Oh then I know what you did then."

Anthony: "Do you?'

lan: "You went to clothing.”

~

Anthony: "I put American Eagle. I'm thinking mall culture."

lan: [nodding] “I was thinking- I actually thought you'd either put American Eagle or All Saints."

-

Q: 'Name an animal beginning with a P’

lan: "I'm giggling [at his answer]."

Anthony: "I think I know why you're giggling.”

~

lan: "I put p**sy!"

Anthony: "I knnnew."

-

Anthony: "Did you [lan] just win?"

lan: "Oh!'

Anthony: "That's a win!" [cheering and clapping] "Yoooo! Because the nose [lan's answer for that round] knows!'

-

Q: 'Out of all the animals in the world, which is the cutest?'

lan: "I said cat."

Anthony: "I said kitten."

[everyone debating whether it counts as the same animal]

Anthony: "Also Ian," [shows him his card] "I wrote cat and crossed it out. I almost wrote it."

-

Q: 'Who is the toughest Disney princess?'

lan: "I did, I think her name is Merida?"

Anthony: "I put the one from Brave."

lan: "Oh!"

Anthony: "Yeah!"

I actually made a post of this moment because it was so cute! How excited they were they had the same answer and also Anthony's little tap dance when he realises 😊

l also loved Angela pointing it out :-

Angela: "Wait, that was so cool that you both said that really random one."

Chanse: "That is fun. Yeah."

Anthony: "Yeah."

lan: "She's tough."

Anthony: "But isn't she- she's like an archer."

Angela: "Sure, but like nobody talks about that movie."

Jackie: "I thought of it too, but I was like 'That's too much of a deep cut.'"

What did I say about the bestie-ism shining through? 🥰

-

lan: "Hey everybody. Here's a good one, Anthony I feel like you and I are gonna be aligned on this one."

Q: 'Name a rapper'

~

lan: "I said Drake."

Anthony: "I wrote Snoop Dogg."

So obviously not the same answer but very cute how lan thought they would be on the same wavelength and he gives the reason as to why he thought that :-

lan: "So Anthony and I played a, we played a fun little game yesterday, where we went on Spotify and we were trying to guess who were the top artists, because it ranks them-"

Literally awing out loud! the fact they were just playing that game together, it wasn't for a video or anything, just something they were doing together in their free time 🥹

Bonus - HELP! I became an NPC!

So this next moment doesn't really fall under the 'compliment' umbrella, but it is something that has become a sub-genre of these posts - is the 'daddy’ thing. Yep, you guessed it folks, Anthony was at it once again. Although, like in the 'You Posted That' episode, he's switching it up and now he's referring to himself as 'daddy’ :-

Anthony: [face appearing as if through a phone screen like in the main sketch]

lan: [pretends to put his fingers up Anthony's nose and then into his mouth]

Anthony: "Ooooh, daddy like."

Why are they like this 🤦‍♀️

Also I think @lilac-hecox & @only-frann summed up a perfect description of this Compliments Series :-

Hope you guys don't mind me tagging you, but this is literally what this series is 😄

Anyways, that was just a jokey little one, but as I said, it's now a 'thing' of these posts so I couldn't not include it.

Moving on...

We Already Regret This Embarrassing Photoshoot ft. Smosh

The boys went back on Good Mythical Morning for the first time in almost 8 years, and although this time around we didn't get any frosting foot massages or Titanic re-enactments there was a few compliment-adjacent moments :-

Link: [talking about the photo they had to re-create] "And lan, I gotta give it to you, man. You remembered a lot."

Anthony: "He did! The glasses. The shirt."

-

Anthony: "I'm feeling good about that one [their photo]."

lan: "I'm feeling good."

And then we got one of their high-five/hand-grip moments that they do a lot.

-

[lan and Anthony announced as the winners]

Anthony: "Yeeeah!'

Another high-five, of course

Anthony: "Yeah! Let's go!'

They just absolutely live for congratulating each other on anything and everything now and it's very sweet. And there's more to come!

Food Battle 2011 - Flashback w/ Smosh

As they're rewatching Food Battle 2011, lan points out in one of the shots how his cross-country team photo can be seen in the background :-

Anthony: "That's you lined up with all the cross-country... pals.

Oop was that jealous!anthony shining through a little there 🫢

lan: [laughs] "Pals."

Anthony: "Backlit. Looking epic."

So again, just another small little compliment, but lan's cross-country/running is brought up again and praised/complimented by Anthony in...

HELP! I became an NPC! Watch Party

[discussing how American sports are confusing]

Anthony: "I feel like Smosh and sports just don't mix in my brain."

lan: [laughs] “What sport do you think that aligns the most with Smosh?"

They go through multiple silly suggestions between the two of them and ones they read from the chat, before lan suggests :-

lan: “I feel like, and it's probably just because I did it, but cross-country. Smosh is cross-country."

Anthony: "Just cause you're part of Smosh and you did it?"

lan: "And you just keep going, and you just keep going. Just keep running."

Anthony: "Is that how you felt doing Smosh even when I left?"

lan: “Yeah. Like just gotta keep going. Just one more mile. One more mile."

Oh lan 🥺 I just had to pause to react to that before I get to the complimentary part of this conversation, but that's so sad. But also a perfect description of what I imagine it was like for him during those times when Anthony was gone. Having to remind himself to just keep going and pushing forward regardless.

Anthony: "What was your longest run?"

lan: "I did a marathon."

Anthony: “Yeah, I remember you ran past my street and I woke up bright and early, and I was like [pretends to be half asleep and waves].”

lan: [smiling] “Yeah, yeah I did."

Anthony: "How long was that run?"

lan: "26.2 miles."

Anthony: "Daaaamm, I didn't know [the] marathon was 26.2 miles, shiiiit.”

lan: “Yeah, and I averaged a little under an 8 minute mile.”

Anthony: “That is not bad. For 20 times 26?! That's good!"

So couple things to cover here!

1. Anthony waking up early to catch lan run by his street so he could wave to him CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING 😭 that's the cutest thing ever!

2. Anthony saying how good of a time lan got in the marathon is so sweet. I live for Anthony bigging him up 🥹

Anthony's Birthday

This next lot I'd call complimentary-by-extension. Anthony's birthday rolled around and in typical lan fashion this was the birthday tweet we got from him :-

Oh lan, wouldn't expect anything else from you 😅

Thought that was going to be it but then Mr. Padilla came through for us! And this was the particularly special moment I mentioned in the beginning of this post. He made the post linked in the main header of this section, thanking everyone for the birthday wishes and said how it had been Mykie and his anniversary the week previous and how she took him to the Grand Canyon. The post was all photos of the two of them, but in amongst it all, he included this gem :-

lan 💛

Isn't this just the softest thing.

I mean...

1. We finally get to see lan interacting with Anthony's dogs 🙌 Also the fact you can tell how comfortable they must be around him given the fact she's laying on his chest quite content which means lan is around them often enough to have that bond with them 🥹

2. The fact they spent Anthony's birthday together after so many years of birthdays unshared & it also makes Ian's tweet funnier, like him being next to Anthony, realising people are probably expecting him to publicly wish him 'happy birthday’, him writing the most basic tweet with a low-quality gif, posting it, and then going right back to hanging out with Anthony 😆

Aaaaand…...

3. Probably the softest thing about this, and where I'm going to get a bit emotional writing/thinking about it because I have a lot of feelings about it, is the fact Anthony included that photo of lan within his birthday/anniversary post. It's just so unbelievably soft. I cannot get over it. There was was no mention of lan in the caption or anywhere else, it was all photos of Anthony and Mykie, but within it, this one little candid shot of lan. It's so special. And says a lot without explicitly saying anything at all. It's just like, 'here's a post of things that matter to me.’ I like to imagine Anthony choosing the photos for that post, and even with it being a birthday/anniversary post, he still made the conscious decision to include that photo of lan. Something he didn't need to do, the photo wasn't relevant to the post, and yet, he included it anyways. He wants people to know that's how he spent his birthday, with the people he loves most - he couldn't not include that photo of lan. And I think it comes back around to the fact he's just so happy to have lan in his life again and he'll take every opportunity to say/show it. I can picture him sitting there looking at lan laying on his floor across from him, his dog on lan's chest, and his heart just feeling so full and happy at the fact he has his best friend with him again when a year ago he didn't think this would ever be a reality for him again. It's just so, so special ❤️

Finishing off Anthony's birthday was something that came a few days after :-

Anthony's response to lan's birthday tweet ☺️

What I also love about this, is the fact that lan never tagged Anthony in his tweet and given it was a few days later that Anthony responded and by that point the tweet would have been buried in his timeline, and also that Anthony barely uses Twitter. Knowing all these things it's very likely that Anthony searched for lan's account for him to see that tweet 🥰

POKEMON ROOMMATE BATTLE Watch Party

In the BTS for the POKEMON ROOMMATE BATTLE sketch lan keeps getting distracted playing Pokémon for the whole shoot, eventually getting the gameboy taken off of him by Erin 😅 In this livestream they're watching the sketch and Anthony says :-

[scene where 'lazy lan' is sitting in the beanbag playing Pokémon not wanting to move]

Anthony: “This is actually what you were like on set that day cause you were just playing Pokémon the whole day."

lan: "Oh yeah, so we rented that prop from like a prop house."

Anthony: “The gameboy."

lan: "The gameboy. And it was working - it was full battery, Pokémon Red was in it, and I booted it up and was like ‘There's no way. No. No’. and I was just straight up playing Pokémon on and it was-"

Anthony: "Was it everything you remembered?"

lan: "It was sick, dude. It was fun. I was having fun. I was getting really distracted and it was not good for the shoot. But I think I got my Charmander to like level 11 or 12."

Anthony: "Yeah, you nailed it."

Just a cute little compliment I felt should be included 🙂 But sticking with the Pokémon theme, it leads me on to the next compliment...

‘I Choose You' Smosh Hat

Anthony posted this Instagram promoting the Smosh Pokémon-style hat they released as merch, but what stood out to a lot of us is his choice of the first photo + the caption :-

THE IMPLICATIONS! Him crowning lan with the hat and him saying ‘I choose you' 🥹 It reminds me of something I covered in my first Compliments post - the section covering the Smoshcast with Anthony and Shayne saying how they came back together and "choose to be best friends again" 💛🖤

Our Actual Worst Puns (Puns of Anarchy)

Another round of games and compliment-adjacent moments :-

Ian: [handing the cards out]

Anthony: "Oh, look at you. You're providing for your family.”

Just found this moment cute, Anthony referring to them as a family 🥹

[Jackie chooses Anthony's card and he reveals it's his]

Jackie: "I take it back."

Anthony: “I'm also 'Hand Solo' though, so [the other card Jackie was going to pick]?

Arasha: "I'm so pissed [because Anthony is winning]."

Ian: "Wow. Anthony's cleaning up” [claps]

-

[Round Category: Baby Boomers]

Ian's card -' A Whole New World' changed to 'A new video of an old, white person freaking out’

Anthony: [picks Jackie's card] “That was good. Although, I will say, I know this was yours, lan [from his handwriting]. That was an adventure, man. I appreciate that."

This isn't the only time the handwriting thing is brought up in the video :-

Keith: "Dude, where's my car?' turns into, 'Dude, where's my car? Oh wait, I can't drive?’ By far the best one, lan. And I know this came from you."

Anthony: "I know it came from lan too, cause I can see the handwriting."

Why is Anthony being able recognise Ian's handwriting so cute. He just knows him so well ☺️

One other moment I loved from this video was something I already made a post about here. Of Jackie referring to them as 'best friends' and Anthony laughing the hardest at his answer firing shots at lan, again, bestie-ism shining through 😄

Joycon HIDE AND SEEK (Everybody 1, 2, Switch)

Last one of the month! This video was full of so many great moments - two lanthony piggybacks, so many bestie moments, and them just being overly cute the whole time 🥰

And also many moments of them complimenting each other on doing well in the games. So many that I decided to compile a little video. Enjoy! :-

And that was it for September!

Hope you all enjoyed and I shall see you next time ❤️

[halscafe]

top 5 redacted quotes (^人^)

me and @zozo-01 were talking about different redacted quotes that just slap and put us in the feels, so here i am vocalizing my thoughts on the main hehehe (✧ω✧)

tagging @gingerbreadmonsters @zozo-01 @sri-rachaa and anyone interested, to do it as well (no pressure tho! and if u want to, do as many as u want (*^^*)♡)

“your feelings are safe with me. and whatever forms they take, you honour me by trusting me with them. by feeling safe enough to share them with me. they are not a burden, and neither are you. you are loved. you’re my sky, deviant. the space between my stars." - gavin | comforted and cared for by your incubus boyfriend

"i fell in love with you two years ago when we got trapped in this place together. and i loved you two years later when we got pulled back in. and i still love you now.” - avior | taking the time to consider your demon’s words 

"when i’m with you, i’m not an alpha, i’m not a friend, i’m not a competitor — i’m david. And i thought i'd lost him a long time ago. you changed everything. your love changed everything and, and i know i didn’t always make it easy. but i love you so much. will you marry me, angel?" - david | your alpha werewolf boyfriend proposes

“you are incredibly brave, and incredibly strong, and you have been walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders without so much of a flinch. you are someone truly remarkable. please, believe it when i say that. you can set the world down now. that doesn’t make you a failure, that doesn’t make you weak.” - gavin | comforted by an arrogant incubus

"scratch it with me?" - david | camping with your thunder alpha werewolf boyfriend

and for a little, light-hearted honourable mention: "my patience has been worn thinner than your morality" - james | confronting your technician (IT'S SO GOOD MAN)

[wildbornsiren]

Safe and Sound || Jake “Hangman” Seresin/Reader/Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

Safe and Sound Part one. Summary: Lay mornings are for chores and cuddling.  1,222 words. Female/AFAB reader-- military job (search and rescue) nickname Birdie.  Warnings: None really, poly!Relationship if that’s not your cuppa.  Notes: tagging in @roleycoleyreccenter because they too love poly!squad. Comments and reblogs are loved, likes are appreciated. Thank you so much for reading, it is so appreciated, and means the most.  **Please follow @wbslibrary​ for updates.**

Off base housing was far better than the barracks, the only drawback finding something affordable with a flexible lease—the chance of being called to relocate with very little warning was highly probable and most landlords wouldn’t put up with it. Thankfully, you found one who rented a three-bedroom beach bungalow at a killer price. It was too much space for you, so you reached out first to Bradshaw, then Seresin who both agreed. It was a good idea, and while the three of you had ended up tangled up with each other more than once, making the shift from coworkers who occasionally fucked around to roommates was smoother than you expected.

They kept busy at Top Gun, teaching, running hops and being called out to top secret missions. Occasionally you ended up on the same mission, though if you saw each other during work it wasn’t the best of circumstances. Search and Rescue never paid for drinks, and no one ever wanted to see you and your crew, but no one made you feel uncomfortable. Weekends were the best. At least the ones where the three of you could spend time together. You had woken up first, starting a coffee pot, glancing around the common living space. Clothes were scattered over most surfaces, flight suits, uniforms, towels. Somehow, there was a pair of boxers hanging from the curtain rod. Life sustaining caffeine poured into a mug you set to sorting out the clothes into piles. “Morning Birdie,” Jake says emerging from his bedroom. His hair stands at odd angles, shirtless and barefoot, gray sweats riding low on his hips. He watches you for a few moments, before blinking sleepily returning to his room, dragging his dirty clothes hamper into the main living space. You can’t help but smile at the nickname, and Jake’s appearance. “How did it get this bad?” You ask, handing a mug over to him as he sorts his clothes into the piles. “Work.” Jake says. “Go grab yours.” He looks at the coffee mug like it hung the stars in the sky. Out of the three of you, you were the only one who could function in the morning. “And I’ll brave the wrath of Bradshaw.” “You’re a peach.” You grin at him, walking past, squeaking when he grabs your wrist, pulling you close. “I can be.” He says softly, kissing your cheek. “Missed you, between the hops and teaching it seems like you’ve been out of the house a lot.” “Work’s been tough for all of us.” You smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. He sets his mug down, plucking yours from your hand, setting it aside. He pulls you closer, those warm, strong arms wrapping around you as he kisses you again. Properly this time, Jake’s tongue sliding past your lips, his hands spanning your back. “Go get Bradley’s stuff.” You murmur against his lips when he comes up for air. “I need another kiss for luck.” Jake’s lips brush against yours as he speaks, sending shivers down your back. “You can have another one when you’ve completed your mission.” “Yes ma’am.” Jake salutes you, heading back to Bradley’s room. You go to your own room, retrieving your piles of dirty laundry. When you pass by Bradley’s room, you can hear the two men talking, voice rough with sleep. You lean in the doorway, watching as Bradley cups Jake’s jaw, pulling him down for a soft kiss. More murmuring, before Bradley is calling out good morning. “Morning Bradley,” you can’t help but smile. It had taken some time and more than a few growing pains, but the three of you had settled into this. A trio, that gave as much as it took, a love protected and fostered. “Do I smell coffee?” “Yes, you need to get up to get some.” You call over your shoulder. Once in the main room you start sorting your clothes adding to the already large piles. “I mean that’s basic biology.” Bradley rumbles softly, draping himself across your back. He’s warm and heavy, sleepy. “Have to get it up to get some.” His mustache tickles as he kisses along the curve of your neck. “Everyone knows that Birdie.” “You’re such a brat.” You squirm away and he chuckles softly. Jake’s rummaging through Bradley’s dirty clothes before he’s gathering up the flight suits and heading toward the garage. Food is a simple affair, breakfast burritos while barefoot in the kitchen. Bradley and Jake bicker playfully while you eat. It’s comfortable, familiar and the realization that the three of you hadn’t shared a space together for nearly three weeks. Sure, there were hellos and goodbyes, kisses in passing; but this comfort creature hadn’t happened for a while. Bradley disappears to change the laundry over, Jake’s at the sink washing up. Bradley comes back, slotting himself between your thighs. You had sat on the kitchen island to eat and hadn’t moved when your boys started to do things. Bradley rests his head on your chest, his arms around your waist. He makes a sound akin to a purr when your fingers tangle gently in his curls. “Comfortable?” You ask, kissing the top of his head. He rumbles his approval, burrowing closer to your body. His body heat seeps through the thin t-shirt and sleep shorts you wore as pajamas, his fingers brushing under the hem of your shirt. His touch is soft and slow, drawing circles on the small of your back. “We should probably go grocery shopping too.” Jake says. He’s started a list, standing next to the two of you. “Instacart,” Bradley says not even bothering to lift his head. “Laundry and snuggles today. Maybe movies and naps.” “I could get behind that.” Jake says. He pulls himself up on to the island with you, hand curling gently around the back of your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. “My reward for facing the slumbering dragon and getting his clothes.” You can’t help but smile, sneaking another kiss, feeling him smile against your mouth. “Can we go somewhere more comfortable?” Bradley lifts his head, lips pursed for a kiss. You kiss him soundly, Jake following suit. “Couch, that way we can hear the washer and dryer, and the clothes will be in sight.” You murmur, pressing another soft kiss to Bradley’s mouth. Bradley offers his hand when you get down from the counter, Jake hot on your heels. Bradley sits on one end of the couch, his back against the arm, legs sprawled out. You crawl onto the couch with him, your back against his chest. Almost immediately, his head drops to your shoulder, pressing soft kisses to your neck. Your fingers find their way into his curls, untangling them gently as he hums in pleasure. “You alright there, sleepy boy?” “Mmhm,” he hums softly, nose pressed to the curve of your neck. Jake joins the pair of you, settling between your legs, his head on your chest. It’s warm and comfortable, one of Jake’s hands sliding up and down your side. Safe, sheltered, protected, nothing could reach the three of you here. Bradley’s breathing so slow and even against your neck, Jake’s weight comfortable and heavy, grounding you between the two halves of your heart. Maybe, just maybe the laundry can wait. Home was more important. /end

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

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Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 8.8k

A/N: Here it is, folks. The one you've all been waiting for. Enjoy. <3

I might have been a tiny wee bit self indulgent at one point in particular. Bet you can't tell where.

You frown as you swipe to answer the call from Scott. "Who died?"

"Woooow," a very familiar sarcastic response rings through your ear. "Can't a friend just call up another in this day and age?" You let the silence linger just long enough for him to then add, "Yeah, I'm chatting shit. No, I was going to ask, are you running late?"

You frown, "No, I'm not long about to close up now. Why'd you ask?"

"Well, Ralph texted me." He puts on a voice, the way you all do when talking about your flatmate. "Good afternoon, Scott. I hope you have been keeping well, and that the snow hasn't interrupted your daily life. I would like to request your assistance, I am aware that we have been tasked with making dessert for the Pal Valentine's Day meal later, but unfortunately I have noticed that we are severely lacking in eggs. I was simply wondering if, by chance you could bring some up to the flat? I would be most grateful, and willing to more than compensate you financially! Regards, Ralph."

You groan, "I asked him to get eggs this morning, he didn't want to because there were kids throwing snowballs and he was scared he'd get caught up in it. I told him to suck it up, because they can smell fear, but he's clearly too chicken-shit to go out there."

"Aww, he's never even had a snowball fight before? What even was his childhood?!" You rasp, hoping to quickly evade that topic. "Oh my god, you thinking what I’m thinking?”

You grin, “I think I am. You wanna rally the troops?”

“On it.”

You look up from your phone, still giggling, to see two of your sales assistants watching you, looking at each other and waggling their eyebrows at each other. You shake your head, “At this point, you’re well beyond barking up the wrong tree! My friend Scott and I are planning something,” you flash your eyes mischievously, and they tut back at you.

“Well, at this point, it’s not like we were expecting you to have some hot date on the other end of the line, is it?” One of them jokes, nudging the other as they run off and busy themselves at the other end of the store, still cackling.

“You two are lucky you’re my favourites!” You shout after them with a laugh. “Can I trust you to close up tonight?”

“Nah, we’re gonna loot the place,” one answers with a false sincerity.

“You poor sods won’t find much here,” you point out. “But thank you, you’re the best!” You singsong as you head past them to the back room.

“Then pay us more!” Another jokes.

“If I had control over who earns what, d’you not think I’d have done that by now? You wound me,” you dramatically push your hand to your chest as you walk backwards through the door out of the main shop floor. Once you’ve collected all your belongings, and put on all your layers, it’s pretty much time to close anyway. You salute your colleagues with a, “Godspeed getting home tonight,” and brave the cold.

Since the roads hadn’t been salted by the time you needed to get to work, you’d walked there, and while you would much rather be sitting in a heated car than feeling your cheekbones freeze over, it’s quite nice to walk through the streets of Croydon, watching the thick snow fall with the slightest bit of sun still peeking through. A gentle little reminder that longer, warmer days are just around the corner, and that winter’s soon at an end.

You’re greeted in front of your tower block by all your friends, all with varying expressions. Scott and Connor are eagerly plotting, Anna still looks a little unsure, and Grace just looks like she’s fed up of the cold. “So, what’s the plan, who’s getting him to come downstairs?” you ask once you’re with them.

“That’s what we were just deciding,” Scott replies.

“My suggestion was that Anna would be the least suspicious, but she wants no part of this,” Connor pulls a face and Anna slaps his arm.

“Shut up! I still think it’s mean,” she frowns, and you hold her arm comfortingly.

“Listen, who’d you rather be the first people to engage Ralph in any kind of snow fight, us or those little pricks up there?” You jerk your head over to where a group of middle school-age boys are playing around together. 

She sighs, “Fine, but I’m aiming for his feet, okay?”

“Aw, but it’s fifty points if you hit his face,” Scott teases.

“Okay, okay, before Grace gets hypothermia, let’s just get this over and done with, shall we?” You ask, and Grace nods from somewhere beneath her fluffy hood. “Scott, he asked you to pick up those eggs, didn’t he? Just make up some guff about how they’ve locked the front doors so he needs to come push the button to let you in.”

Scott nods, texts something, and within a few minutes pumps his fist with excitement. “Okay, he says he’ll do it! I told him to wrap up and let me know when he’s on his way down.”

“Tell him you’ve had to step away from the doors so it doesn’t look like you’re loitering,” Connor adds, “so he can’t just run back.”

“Okay, this does feel a little mean, now,” you admit, and Anna looks at you incredulously.

“No, no, you don’t get to back out now! Not after all that talking me round!”

“Yeah, c’mon, you two have been smooth sailing for ages now, surely there’s something that you can only get off your chest by a one-time snowball pelting?” Scott asks, and you think for a moment.

“He did watch the rest of that new show we were watching without me and then spoiled the ending,” you ponder.

“Jail.” Grace pulls her hood back momentarily to stare at you with wide, serious eyes.

You nod, “Yeah. Or a snowball to the shoulder. Both are the same punishment, I think.”

“Totally,” Connor sneers, and you and Grace both flip him off - or you assume that’s why she’s holding the back of her hand up to him, it’s hard to tell with her wearing mittens, but it does put everyone into a heap of laughter.

Connor’s phone beeps, and he gasps as he looks at his screen. “Alright, gang, he’s on his way down! Lock and load.”

You all get into position, snowballs in gloved hands, as you watch Ralph push the door open with ease, walk through it and look back with a frown. He tentatively moves forward one cautious step at a time, his big baby-cow eyes darting around all the while. You all hide a little further back each time until he’s inevitably in line with you all. He looks at Scott first, then his hand, then around at all of you. “Oh, fiddlesticks,” he whispers.

“This is for your own good, mate,” Connor grimaces as you all throw your missiles at him. With a half-scream, half-squawk sound, Ralph tensely curls himself up in self-defence, holding that position long after he’s been hit. “See, mate, that wasn’t so bad, was it? And that was all of us!”

“I thought you were all my friends,” he glares indignantly at you all, and you nod.

“Yeah, which is why we did it knowing you wouldn’t get hurt,” you point out. “You’re alright now, aren’t you?” He nods tentatively. “See? And the best bit, is now it’s your turn, and you get pick of the lot as to who you hit first.”

“Just hit me first, if you like, I won’t mind, and I won’t hit you again, either,” Anna shrugs, but Ralph studies all of you.

“Who’s idea was this?” He eventually asks Anna, who quickly points to you and Scott.

“Wooooow,” Scott shakes his head, but Anna simply flips him off.

Ralph bends down, eyes still flitting between all of you, as he grabs two handfuls of snow and immediately flings them both at the two of you. While you get a tiny little lump that just grazes your chest, at least he landed it with Scott, as that one flew out of his grip and straight into Scott’s mouth. A laugh bubbles out of Ralph’s lips and you all grin back at him.

“Okay, that was good, but a good snowball is two handfuls, smushed together into, yeah, that’s it, just like- ack!” Connor is silenced and humbled by Ralph throwing his third and far bigger snowball, straight into his stomach. “Prick,” he laughs as he scoops another one up to toss at Ralph again, who manages to evade it this time. “Mine was way bigger than theirs!” He makes another, adding, “Although, while I’m here, if you’re not retaliating…” Before extending himself to standing and throwing one at Anna with an almost evil cackle.

Anna gasps, “Only not to Ralph, asshole!” And throws one back at him with a giggle.

Before long, you’re all running around, including Ralph, throwing snowballs at each other and laughing like you were kids again. You’d never had thought, at your big age, that this is how you’d be spending a snowy day, but it brings back good memories of you and your four oldest friends, knocking at each other’s doors after the local news had announced that your school was closed, taking old bin lids up the steepest hills you could climb to slide down again. You look over at Ralph, with the apples of his cheeks glowing as red as his ears and the tip of his nose from all the cold, his whole face lit up as he catapults snowballs in the strangest fashion, and wonder what snow days must have been like for him. Obviously, he wasn’t sledding down hills on bin lids, but you’d have thought he and Victoria and their friends would have had friendly snowball fights. Though, you remember, from what you’ve learned of Victoria and her friends, perhaps those weren’t so friendly when aimed at Ralph.

Your thoughts are interrupted when another snowball hits Ralph, though not from any direction that any of you are standing. You all look over to the gang of young boys, snickering at each other for having landed one on “one of the oldies”, especially commending the offender for “getting the posh one”.

Though rage boils through all of you, it’s Grace, already warmed up from running around, who pushes her hood back to give them all a death stare and tell them, “You’ll regret that.”

As though called to arms, the five of you form a protective wall in front of Ralph and start hurling snowballs at the group of pre-teens at top speed until one of them yells, “Alright, alright, truce! Mercy! Whatever word gets you to stop!”

Just as you all stop, one more snowball flies up above all of you. Over your heads, down, down, and lands perfectly on top of the head of the kid that the others were praising for hitting Ralph. All your friends spin around on the spot so that all of you, as well as the boys, could stare in disbelief at Ralph, who has a small but very proud smile on his face. “Oi, that was sick!” One of the boys yells out. You mouth to Ralph that that’s a good thing as the other boys start laughing and cheering for him, too.

“Okay, alright, we’ve all had our fun,” you start holding your hands up in the air, “but this isn’t getting Palentine’s dinner ready, is it?”

“Isn’t it Valentine’s? That’s tomorrow, innit?” One of the boys answers.

“Nah, isn’t Pal-a-tine the wrinkly geezer from Star Wars?” Another asks.

“I thought it was that place that’s always fighting with Israel,” another comments.

“Maybe pay more attention to your teachers, yeah?” You ask them with a slight nod. You turn to the others. “Still meeting at Anna’s?” You ask, and they all non-verbally confirm. “Cool, see you guys in a bit. Ralphie!” You shout for him and he springs to attention, practically jumping to stand next to you. You smirk, “Ready to go get those eggs I asked for this morning?” He nods sadly and you nudge him towards the row of shops.

As you walk away, Ralph mutters, “I know I’m not supposed to interfere with knowledge about those world wars, but have there really already been ones in space, too?”

Had the snowball incident not already happened, you’d have absolutely messed with Ralph by convincing him that Star Wars were actual battles that took place in outer space. However, enough guilt consumes you that you correct him by trying to explain the entire movie franchise to him as you buy the eggs you need. Though he listens intently and nods attentively, you can tell from the vacant look in his eyes that nothing’s really going in, but at least he’s trying.

Baking with Ralph sounds like a nightmare, but he’s a diligent little helper when he’s trying. He measures your ingredients for you and he’s quick to wash up your equipment once you’re done with it. You’d only planned to go for the safe option of a simple sponge cake, predicting disaster, but the speed at which you’re all done leaves you pleasantly surprised. You’re even able to snap a little photo for Ralph’s instagram without him noticing. Once you’re all dolled up, he suggests you both take one to “show” his instagram and twitter accounts, but you opt to keep that one for just the camera roll. You’ve not seen or heard any speculation about your potential love life revolving around Ralph, and you’d like to keep it that way.

Once you finally get to Anna’s, after explaining that the boys outside of your flats had since decided to gather all the snow in the street to make one giant snowball, and had recruited you and Ralph to roll it when it got too big for them to, until you two couldn’t either. “Perfectly understandable reason,” Connor nods in understanding, and the others agree.

Once all the food is laid out, you’re glad that you all a) worked up an appetite and b) ended up pushing dinner back on top of that, because everybody preparing separate dishes has definitely overestimated what six portions of each part should be. Regardless, it’s another night of eating food, chatting away and ending with dancing around Anna’s living room, much like Ralph’s second night with you.

Another morning of February 14th, another empty bed to wake up in. You sit up, stretching out your arms, and grab your phone to look through the folder in your phone labelled “shitty mspaint valentines” to send to your friends and some of your coworkers, to make them laugh. You’re met with some laughing reactions, some rebuttals and a couple of reactions that you can tell were written with a sarcastic eye roll, which only spurs you on more.

You also post a photo you took yesterday to Ralph’s instagram, to keep his brand alive:

You’re about to drag yourself out of bed when the door opens to reveal Ralph, holding out a tray with two plates piled with waffles, two glasses of fruit juice and two mugs of tea. You watch him carefully set it at the foot of the bed and then sit next to you with your lower lip out in an affectionate pout. “Aww, Ralphie, what’s all this about?”

“Well, usually tradition would have it that Father and I would take Mother and Victoria breakfast in bed on St Valentine’s Day morning, as a tradition, and so Victoria insisted that tradition still be upheld even after our parents… Well, let’s not already put a dampener on the day before it starts! You’ll have to forgive the absence of flowers, I used to have the luxury of picking them out of the garden, but none of the plants in the flat are flowering, and it would be criminal of me to steal from others’ gardens, and all the florists were specifically selling bundles that were far too big for such a gesture, an-”

“Deep breath,” you coach him as you put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s sweet that you still wanted to uphold your little tradition. You know, my dad used to leave me and Mum Valentine’s cards on the doormat, each from “a secret admirer”, though it used to terrify me at first because I didn’t realise it was him!” You pull a face as you take a bite out of a waffle, and Ralph laughs softly. “’Course, after a while, it’d get a bit embarrassing having your dad be your Valentine, but hey, it was one more than I’ve been getting these past few years!” You finish your mouthful and wave the rest of the waffle at him. “These are pushing the boat out for you! Get you!”

“Yes, my dear American friend recommended them to me! And I managed to successfully cook them in the toaster oven!” Ralph chimes gleefully.

“Look at you go!” You beam proudly. “Soon enough, you won’t even need me!”

“Oh, don’t be preposterous,” he mutters under his breath just before taking a big sip of his tea. “Any plans for the day?”

“You mean, other than beating the hoards of men waiting for me outside that door with a stick?” You joke, and Ralph chuckles lightly. You shake your head. “Might just do another self-care day. Be my own Valentine, as if things weren’t sad enough!”

“Well, perhaps I could join you, and we would be our own ones together,” Ralph offers. He awaits your reaction with bated breath. If that goes well, perhaps he could segue into asking you to be his actual Valentine, and that would be at least one more step above simply being housemates, over being bedmates, even.

You take a deep breath in. Maybe you could ask Ralph if he’s willing to take it the slightest step further and be each other’s Valentines. It’s just an arbitrary title, really, but at least you’d have one this year. And, whenever Ralph finally leaves, at least you can remember him as more than just your flatmate who you platonically shared a bed with. Wistfully reminiscing over a Valentine does sound more romantic.

But, you have to respect his boundaries. If he felt comfortable enough to make you breakfast in bed, he would have accompanied it with a request for you to be his, but he didn’t. He’s offering to be his own Valentine, parallel to you. Message received. “That’d be nice!” You put all your effort into trying not to sound disappointed.

It works, as Ralph reads your reaction as being very happy with that idea, and he daren’t tread over that line. “Very well. So, what does being your own Valentine mean?”

“For me? Junk food, junk TV, and in this weather, wearing at least two blankets at all times,” you count off on your fingers, making Ralph laugh. “Though I better head out and get you some of your favourites, too.”

He frowns, “There’s no need, you’ll catch your death of cold out there!”

“I mean, obviously I’d get dressed first,” you pull a face. “But yeah, you deserve to get spoiled a little, too. I mean, you did all this for me,” you gesture to the tray, but Ralph rasps flippantly. “Plus,” you add with a smirk, “don’t want you hoarding all my favourite snacks.”

“There it is!” Ralph grins, pointing a finger to you and leaning in so it hovers close to your nose, making you laugh.

“You caught me!” You hold your hands up in mock guilt. “I’ll head out in a bit, okay?”

Once breakfast is over, and you’ve washed up after you both despite Ralph insisting he would do it and trying to get in - which resulted in some rather creative ways of blocking him out of the kitchen - you get dressed ready to brave yet another cold front.

You know what Ralph’s most favourite sweets are. Jelly Babies. But the ones he loves the most aren't the kind you can get from any shop - of course not, that would be too easy, and this is Ralph. No, his favourites come from an old fashioned sweet shop that lives on the same street as the shop he works in. You remember its location vividly. as you'd made a point to think about memorising it and nothing else the day you'd dropped off a treat to Ralph while at work and seen his latest idea in action - an immersive display where he dresses up to fit in with it too. But you'd firmly blocked that mental image out of your head. Of him surrounded by Wild West imagery while wearing a cowboy hat, a plaid shirt and very well-fitting jeans. You definitely hadn’t focused on that at all.

The trek to the old high street is a long one, especially since the snow that wasn’t quite gritted over had formed a barrier of sludge along the roadside that was creeping into the remnants of yesterday’s clean, soft, crunchy snowfall. You make the most of the childlike wonder that comes from stomping through it while you can, before it inevitably ices over into a deathly lumpy terrain.

You spot someone ahead hobbling through the snow, walking in your direction. You watch them carefully, unsure whether to try and help, casually walk past or actively avoid them, when an unmistakably pungent aroma precedes them. You study them a little closer and shout in recognition, “Homeless Pete!”

The man looks up and grunts at you. “How‘ve you been? Not seen you in ages!” He shrugs. Heart sinking, you note, “You were walking with quite a purpose there. Headed anywhere in particular?” Your fears are confirmed when he points over to the block of flats Ralph showed you that he’d emerged from almost half a year ago. “Oh… Today? It’s working?!” You ask, feeling your heart hurl through the ground. He nods, then gestures to you and flashes you a hopeful look. “What?! No! Not me! No, d’you remember, you brought a guy back with you from the 20s? Well, not these 20s, the nineteen-twenties.” 

He looks blankly at you. You groan, “Please don’t tell me you’re some kind of past Pete who doesn’t know about Ralph, I don’t need a migraine today.” The name seems to resonate with Pete, which is promising. “Yes! Ralph! You remember! He was all dressed up like he was in the army! And he ended up coming back with you! And then he ended up with me! S’pose I better… Could you hold off on using it until I can get him there, too?” Your words hang heavy with sadness, but you knew this day was coming.

Pete stands there in silence for a moment, thinking. He traces the air from time to time, then claps his hands, making you jump. He mimes scratching at a beard along his own stubble-covered jaw. “You mean, you’ve seen Ralph with a beard now?” He nods, pointing downwards in front of himself. “You’ve spoken to him?” Another nod. Pete looks up at the tower block, then at you, gestures with two hands towards the building, then makes an X shape with his arms, waving them down. 

“Please just fucking speak, mate.” You sigh, but he just repeats his actions. As you look lost again, he holds his two hands out again, but stops, looking at you in waiting. “So, that’s you and Ralph?” You guess, and he nods. He moves his hands up towards the building. “You and Ralph went to the place with the… Time machine.” Saying it out loud still sounds insane, even after all this time. He holds one hand close to him, and waves the other one out at you. “Is that one meant to be him?” Another nods, and then the crossed-arms gesture. You frown. “Ralph… Didn’t go in with you?” He shakes his head. “Why not?” He shrugs.

The sorrow and confusion you’ve been feeling this whole conversation start to curdle into all kinds of other feelings. There’s still some confusion there, but mostly it’s anger, frustration, disbelief. He knew how cautious you were about this day finally arriving. He knew of all the countless sleepless nights you’d spent trying to figure out things like how to hide him from your landlord, what to do if he ever falls ill. He knew that every time you picked up your post, you feared a letter from the government with big red letters asking to confirm the identity of the man who’s been claiming to live there despite not being legally registered to. He knows that you’ve been up until all hours some nights searching desperately for some kind of explanation for this phenomenon, since it can’t just be something that only Homeless Pete knows about.

Things had been going so well, especially since Christmas. You’d made peace with the fact that the clock was very much ticking with how long you’d have left with Ralph, and especially after Brighton, you had been telling yourself over and over to not sweat the small stuff, and to just enjoy having him around. You’d figured that with your feelings for him growing stronger the more that he’s around, it’s better for everyone if, instead of constantly counteracting them with the negatives, you’d just let yourself get over him quietly. 

Maybe you should have been more forceful. Created more boundaries. Made it more obvious that he can’t just cheat his own fate, who knows what kind of damage he’s done to… Literally the entire universe, anything could be possible! You’d thought you’d always made it so clear to Ralph to always be preparing for the day he goes back. That no matter how great the life is he’s made for himself here, at the end of the day, all this is, is a learning experience for him to take this level of confidence back with him to his own time.

Forgoing the sweet shop, and any other shop for that matter, you make a beeline home, your steps far more deliberate and angry than the gentle march you had been taking through the snow. Even the sight of the lift in your building angers you, so you push your way up the stairs up until the ninth floor, storming through your front door.

Ralph looks over at you from where he sits on the sofa, delight on his face, which quickly falls when he sees your expression. “Is everything alright?”

“Is it?!” You screech. “Have a guess who I saw out there.”

He frowns. “I’m not sure, I didn’t quite think there was anyone out there who upset you to that degree. Would you like some tea or something to calm down?”

“Don’t you dare tell me to ‘calm down’ when you are the reason I haven’t felt ‘calm’ for almost six months now!” You hold your forehead, and Ralph looks back at you, confused, sad and a little scared.

“I - I quite apologise, is there something I’ve done that’s brought this -”

“Don’t you go giving me the ‘oh, yes, quite’ spiel,” you mock his tone, “not when you’ve been lying to me under my own roof! I trusted you!” You stop yourself when you hear your voice crack at that last sentiment.

He swallows hard. “In what respect have I been dishon-”

“I saw H.P. while I was out, didn’t I?! Going towards that block of flats. So I tell him, I say, oh hang about, Pete, let me go grab Ralph so he can go back. And what do you think he told me?!” You ask, now stood next to the couch, squatting down to get eye level with Ralph.

His eyes dart as he wrings his hands, his eyes squeezing shut and open over and over again. “Yes, well, you see, that -”

“Right, all this umm-ing and ahh-ing is just… Annoying me even more,” you state, rubbing your temples. “I just want the facts, Ralph.”

“You said not to talk about anything from that weekend,” he mutters, and you look at him in disbelief.

“You’ve been holding out on me about this since November?!” You ask incredulously.

“You said! Not to talk! About anything! From that weekend!” Ralph jumps to his feet, punctuating every gap in his sentence with a chop to his palm.

You stand back up to level with him. “Yeah, as in all the shit about - God, are we really gonna drag all of that into light again, now?!”

“Well, if we could just talk about it, calmly,” Ralph gesticulates, but you scoff.

“You gave up all rights to that the moment you started lying to me,” your voice shakes. “It’s you, Ralph. You’re the one person I don’t expect to lie to me, since I don’t lie to you.”

He rasps in disbelief. “That’s not entirely true, now, is it? Or else you wouldn’t react so harshly. There’s something you’re hiding from me, isn’t there? Has your sense of charity finally worn, is that it?” He speaks with the venom in his tone that you’ve only ever heard whenever he’s talking about himself. “What, have you been counting the days down until you could throw me back out? Is that why you’re up until the ungodly hours, researching how to get rid of me sooner?”

You groan, pressing your fingers into your eyelids. “You can’t keep doing this, you can’t just keep making yourself the victim here when that obviously isn’t what I want!”

“Ah, yes, well, you must forgive me for not realising sooner that everything here is exactly as it always has been for my entire life,” Ralph spits. “People pretending to care about me to then use me for my money, or my social status, is one thing, but I have nothing here. Nothing but… Being a pitiful little man.”

“How many more times are we going to have this argument, Ralph? Everybody loves you here!” You punctuate every syllable of the first word with claps. “It’s not just because they pity you, because they don’t know you! They don’t know how you got here, or anything about your shitty family, people just like you! You have to stop being so narrow-minded and start seeing how this,” you gesture in circles in front of him, “affects the rest of us! Especially me, I’m out here having to - to keep track of what secrets I’m keeping and what lies I’m telling to who.”

“Yes, well. Nobody asked you to,” he mutters, looking at the floor.

Your blood now boiling, and all rationality out of the window, you scoff, “Oh, so now you’re ungrateful?!” His eyes snap to yours, but you carry on before he can interrupt you again. “I put my job on the line every time I have to leave early for you. I put my entire livelihood on the line harbouring a fugitive that doesn’t legally exist anywhere, not to mention that I have no clue what to do if you ever need urgent medical attention, if my landlord suddenly decides to kick me out, I don’t know how I’m going to keep them from finding out about you and potentially charging me a fuckton extra, I just - You can’t just think about everything I risk for you even once, can you?”

He frowns, “How dare you say that I don’t care?! I keep a healthy diet, despite all the times you decide we’ll just take away food instead, I keep to myself as much as possible other than the things that you have me do, and whenever I do leave the flat, I leave no trace that I was ever here!”

“Look, we’re getting away from the main problem, here, and I’m not skirting around it any more,” you shake your head. “Why did you lie to me?”

“Strictly speaking, I’ve never told a lie, merely omitted my meeting with Peter from any conversation between you and I,” he points out, and you scowl at him. He sighs, “But you don’t understand. If I told you that, you’d want to know why. And I can’t - there are far bigger things at play here,” he shakes his head.

You look at him in disbelief, “Like what?! Are you some kind of time-travelling spy? An intergalactic detective?”

“Clearly not,” Ralph scoffs.

“Then what, Ralph?” You raise your voice. “What possible reason do you have for - for causing me all that grief all those months ago, just to then go against the one thing you were supposed to do, putting the fate of whatever’s out there at risk all while only living the life of half a person, hm? Why would you choose to stay here like this?!”

“Because I’m in love with you, obviously!”

You and Ralph stare at each other for what feels like hours of silence. His wide, terrified eyes boring into yours as his whole face turns red. His lip quivers and then, suddenly, he pushes past you as you’re still frozen on the spot. You just about turn around to see the last of him rush out of the door, carrying his shoes in his hand.

His coat still hangs on the door, and you can see the snow is falling again. Not realising you’d been holding a breath in the whole time, you groan it out as you grab his coat, wrapping it around your arm to avoid it dragging on the floor, and head out to follow him. You see the display above the lift counting down and curse yourself for having worn yourself out on the way up here earlier.

You huff your way back down the stairs and try to find any trace of where Ralph could have gone. You study the footprints in the snow, vaguely recognising some in the shape of Ralph’s shoes, and decide that it’s as good a lead as any to try and follow them, though they quickly disappear once you get to the main street area. You notice someone loitering and decide it’s worth a shot.

Running across the road to meet them, you ask, “I know this sounds strange, but have you seen a guy go past? Had on a fuzzy blue jumper and no coat, I mean like -”

“Like he was wearing the Cookie Monster’s skin?” They ask with amusement. You sigh with relief, nodding hurriedly and they point, “Went towards the old high street, looked like he was tweaking.”

You thank them and start running as quickly as the resistance from the snow will allow you. It doesn’t help that the wind happens to be blowing the snowfall directly into your face, causing you to constantly stop to rub your eyes or sputter at whatever lands on your mouth.

Once you get back to the street you’d just been to moments before, you sigh with exhaustion as there doesn’t seem to be any trace of him. You still begin pacing the street, looking in every shop window that you pass. You wonder whether he’s hiding at his work, where you wouldn’t be able to get near him, and whether it would be worth asking in there. You’re on good enough terms with his colleague now, and perhaps the eclectic owner of the store might lift your spirits a little. There’s an awful lot of emotional weights on your chest right now, and you’re not sure which ones you’re supposed to be holding. You’re not entirely sure of anything right now, other than that you need to find Ralph.

Not paying attention to what’s in front of you at all, you end up almost vaulting over some poor baby’s stroller as their mother tries to get past you. “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” You apologise hurriedly, and she looks at you with a weirdly knowing smile.

“You looking for the guy who’s been cutting about in just his jumper?” She asks, gesturing to the coat in your arms.

Your eyes widen, “Yes! Oh my god! Have you seen him?!”

“Nice fella, helped me get the little’un across the road amongst all the snow. Really posh?” You nod again, hoping to egg her along. She eventually tells you, “Yeah, I told him to hurry up and get inside, he’ll catch his death! He went over there, towards them flats.” You don’t even need to look in the direction she’s pointing to know where she means.

You thank her profusely, adding a, “Cute baby!” over your shoulder as you quickly make your way down to your next clue.

Thankfully, it’s more than just that, as you find Ralph leaning against the wall of the building just next to the front door, squatting not far from the ground, his arms crossed over his torso and his head sunk low.

He doesn’t look at you as you walk over to him, but you hold his coat out in front of him. “At least put this on, yeah? That mum’ll have your throat, otherwise.” He silently reaches out for it and stands to put it on.

“He’s not here,” he mutters quietly. “Peter, I mean.”

“So, that was your answer to all of this?” You ask, your voice strangely calm considering how tumultuous your internal monologue is. “To just run back to your old life and leave this one all unanswered and up in arms? No care as to how it’d affect anyone else?”

“Of course I care about - well, I suppose the cat's out of the bag. Of course I care about you. It’s why I thought I shan’t burden you any further. I’ve already insulted your generosity by assuming you hadn’t the agency to tell me that you didn’t want me, without taking into account that perhaps you were being genuine. It’s what caused all that trouble when we were in Brighton. And I didn’t want you to feel any more obligated to do anything more out of - I can’t describe it as anything other than pity, but I never wanted you to feel as though you had to pity me, either.”

You sigh, “Look, I get it. It’s complicated as all fuck. Trust me, I’ve been trying to work out all the ins and outs and ups and downs of it all for months, now. But anything here, it just - we don’t know what it’s gonna do, you know? There’s far bigger forces at play here, you literally travelled through time, surely that’s cocked the universe up cosmically somehow? I don’t even know,” you groan in frustration.

“Well, obviously, I wouldn’t have agreed to stay unless I absolutely knew it wasn’t going to put you at any risk. But Peter stated that… Lauren and the rest, they’ve yet to make any sort of return. And since they could have chosen any time, they surely would have by now. I think… I think they stayed, in the past. And it’s not as though the sky’s turned upside down as a result, or that the world is being run by lizard people, now.”

“Depends on who you ask,” you mutter to yourself with a smirk, before looking over at Ralph. “I’m just hurt that you didn’t think to tell me. I know, I know, it was that weekend, but still. You could have told me that you’d thought it safe to stay, regardless of when you’d figured it out.”

“Would you have still been mad at me?” He asks quietly.

“Honestly? Probably,” you shrug. “I’d probably have argued the toss with you over every single possibility that things could still go wrong. But I’d never, ever force you to come here. Haven’t I been saying it all along? I don’t want you to leave. I’ve been dreading the day that you’re not in my bed anymore, that the flat becomes too quiet again, that I’ll have to spend my evenings watching TV alone without your constant nagging.”

“I thought that rather bothered you,” the hint of a soft smile just about tugs at the corners of Ralph’s lips.

“Oh, it does,” you admit, laughing softly, “but I don’t even want to think about a life where I won’t hear any of that, again. You know, and - and just being reminded of you all the time. All our friends always asking after you, and talking about you, never letting me get over you. I’d stay up at night, staring at the bedroom door from the sofa, wondering what’d be worse; that, or you living your old life meaning that you’d never have existed in mine, meaning I’d have no memory of you at all.”

“I’d always perished the thought of leaving - well, all of you, but especially you,” Ralph’s voice is still quiet. “You’d always - always tell me to tell my sister and Lauren to shove it, but honestly, I don’t think I could ever do that without you there with me. Even if they were to throw me out and I had to find my own way around, nobody else would hold a candle to…” He takes a deep sigh. “I always… I know I’ve always been the hopeless romantic, it’s one of my biggest flaws. And after falling for Lauren as soon as I’d seen her, and everything that happened thereafter, I swore to myself that I’d never let myself do that, again. That’s why I joined the French Foreign Legion, so I could focus on the task at hand, and learning how to build a camaraderie with my fellow soldiers. Except none of them wanted to do that. And so I left, and I ended up right here, and it was only a few streets away that -”

“That some dickhead spilled coffee all over you,” you finish his sentence with a smirk.

“I told you then as well, didn’t I, you’re far from one of those,” Ralph looks at you softly. “But I felt it all come back again. Everything I felt when I first saw Lauren. And before Lauren, when it was Maggie. And before Maggie, when it was - oh, heavens, you don’t need to hear about all my failings. But every time, I acted too quickly, and I only caused myself shame and heartbreak. And when I ended up here, I needed - well, something or someone, anything to anchor me, I had no clue what was happening to me. But you were so kind to me, from the very beginning. And I didn’t want to jeopardise your generosity by ruining it the same way I ruin most other things. So I kept my feelings to myself, for once, hoping that the time to leave would catch up before I let my feelings grow. But here we are,” he sighs. “I suppose I shall have to come clean to the others, and seek refuge with one of them. Though not one of your friends as well, I would never put you in that position. I’d have to perhaps tell Loz, out of all of those…”

You frown, “But why would you have to?” He opens his mouth to answer, but you interrupt him, “You’ve not once asked me how I feel about you.”

“Yes, well, you made some things rather obvious in the flat,” he replies coolly.

“Fair enough,” you nod, “but don’t you think I’d only overreact like that if I was really upset? And that I’d only be that upset if I cared about you so much that it’d break my heart to think you could have lied to me? You’ve yet to ask me how I feel about all of this.”

Ralph wrings his hands together, wincing as though bracing for a physical impact as he asks, “Of course, my apologies. So… How do you feel?”

“It’s hard to say,” you admit, trying not to laugh at his offended face. “Okay, I know, I’m being a dick again. I’m just… I dunno, even though, like, I know now that I can say it, it’s still not easy to just, say out loud for the first time.” You let out a long and shaky breath. “I think that… I’ve never been in love before. But if feeling safer being around you, and always wanting to share my life with you, and dreading the day I never see you again, and my heart soaring every time your face lights up with happiness… I think all of those things are the kind of guff people talk about in those romance films. And I didn’t think those kinds of feelings happened in real life, but… I think I know it, now.” You hold his face in your hands and finally say the words that have been dying to leave you all this time. “I love you, Ralph.”

He looks awestruck back at you. You study his face for any other reaction at all, and after a few beats, any sign of life since he remains unmoving, but he soon gleefully grins, leaning in to kiss you. You meet him halfway, moving your arms to wrap around his neck as you press peck after peck against his lips. His arms wrap around your waist as you just kiss him, and nothing else, because nothing else matters. You only break away from each other for air, and to turn your heads to then resume kissing each other as the snow falls around you both.

It’s only when someone clears their throat to get your attention, commenting, “I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but Christ on a bike,” as they push past you, that you actually step away from each other for more than a split second.

You catch Ralph’s eye and hold your hand out to him, “Wanna go get some jelly babies, put on those face masks that make you look like you’re glowing and curl up watching crappy movies and stuffing our faces?”

“I could enjoy watching paint dry in your company, my love,” Ralph smiles warmly at you as he takes your hand, and you take a step back, aghast, but still intertwined with him.

“And where was Ralph the smooth-talker hiding this whole time?!” You ask incredulously, laughing as you fall into step with him.

“Oh, that’s nothing, darling,” he comments, and your heart flies into your throat. You’d heard him call you that in your dreams a hundred times over, but actually hearing it drives you wild. “As I said, I’ve always been quite the hopeless romantic. I’m afraid you’re going to be seeing that at full throttle, now.”

You cackle so hard you bend double. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m gonna see Full Throttle Ralph,” you just about manage to choke out the name through your laughter, and he frowns at you.

“I’m simply warning you that, in agreeing to our courtship, you understand that Ralph Penbury does nothing by halves.”

“Oh god, I’m gonna have to do a lot of catching up, then!” You joke, but he squeezes your hand.

“Oh, good gracious, no, you certainly don’t have to do that! You already do more than enough for me, and I don’t show love just to receive it back, anyway,” he shakes his head.

The journey back to your flat takes the best part of an hour, mostly because you keep interrupting your walk to pull Ralph in for more kisses on the way. You can’t help it, the way his face blushes with the cold just makes him look so adorable, who wouldn’t want to kiss him?!

Plus, when you’d gone to pick his sweets up, he’d told you he had somewhere else to be, run out of the shop, and returned minutes later just as you were leaving, with a bunch of flowers. “I’m cutting it a little short, I know, but would you like to be my Valentine?” He asks as he offers you them.

You take them as you exchange the bag of his sweets into his hands, gasping, “How did you find these so last minute?!”

“Well, they were in our window display,” he admits bashfully, and you laugh.

“Wait, these are from your shop?!”

Ralph nods. “Yes, but I don’t think they mind, too much. Babs was punching the air and telling me to ‘Get in, my son’, but I couldn’t leave you outside and I was technically born in time to be her father, let alone son,” he shakes his head, causing you to laugh even more.

“Shit, I forgot to answer you, didn’t I?!” You look over at Ralph adoringly. “I’d love to be your Valentine, Ralphie. D’you wanna be mine? I’m afraid the sweets won’t last nearly as long as these, as an offering, but -”

“They’re perfect. As is my Valentine this year,” he beams, kissing the part of your forehead not obscured by your hat.

Once you get home, you change out of your snow-soaked clothes and decide to wear the pyjamas you’d both gotten for Christmas from your parents. You wonder whether to tell your friends right off the bat what’s happened today. You know Ralph can keep a secret, but ever since you’d said those four words to him, he’s been practically shouting his devotion to you from the rooftops. As much as you can’t wait to share in this big milestone of yours with your best friends, you just want nothing more than some uninterrupted time to spend catching up with all the affection you’ve been so desperately wanting to give to Ralph this whole time, and vice versa. Besides, they’ve all got dates tonight, too. You don’t want to interrupt their evenings. That’s what you’ll tell them when they inevitably find out.

Instead, you spend the afternoon and well into the evening pampering yourself and your - Boyfriend? What would you even call Ralph? Although that remains short lived as he realises that face masks are just a barrier preventing more kissing from happening, and he pouts until he’s got full access once again. Every peck comes with its own sweet nothing - a declaration of love, a compliment, a comment of gratitude. Although he’d told you it wasn’t necessary, you do try to match his energy - but it just becomes exhaustive after a while.

You had your heart set on ordering from your favourite Chinese takeaway from this morning, before the day's events had transpired, but Ralph is more than happy to eat from there, as well. You even go so far as to try and teach him how to hold chopsticks, though his adorable attempts to keep interlocking your fingers to pull your hand to his lips to to kiss it instead are far more adorable.

After watching some cheesy rom-coms - or rather, spending the night cuddling and constantly kissing Ralph some more while Sandra Bullock tries to find love over and over on the TV - you eventually retire to bed. As you do, your phone chimes its specific tone to tell you the group chat has updated. Laying in bed, you unlock your phone to see a photo of Scott and his partner, on their sofa with a glass of wine each, which is then followed by Grace sharing a snap of her and her boyfriend wearing face masks together in her bathroom. Anna sends a mysterious snap of two fancy-looking meals and two glasses being clicked together, one certainly in her own hand but the other is held by a mystery man, and Connor shares a very sweet photo of him and Ralph's friend Lauren in a restaurant booth together.

Ralph's head rests on top of yours as you show him the photos, and you can feel his smile getting wider at the photo of his two friends from different parts of his life here sitting so closely together. You lean your head up to grin at him, "Should we?”

He smiles back at you as you switch to your camera app. You aim it at you and Ralph and look back over at him, for him to press a kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes, smiling into it, and tap at the screen, your muscle memory still knowing exactly where the shutter is without having to see the screen. You type “happy vday from me and my valentine, too 😘”, hit send, laugh loudly with Ralph as you see all four speech bubbles show up at once, and then put your phone on silent and lay it face-down on your nightstand.

You roll back over to snuggle up against his chest, and he wraps his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin as he embraces you. “Goodnight, my love,” you hear him whisper in your ear. “Pleasant dreams.”

“Night, Ralphie. Love you,” you mutter back, holding him tight and breathing in deeply, finally free to indulge all you want in the prospect of having a relationship with the man you’ve been in love with for the last five months.

next chapter

[nohoperadio]

I'm gonna have a crack at @perdvivly's ask meme what I got tagged in now... let's go!!

1. What virtue do you most often see in other people that you feel comparatively deficient in?

A less brave question asker might have built up to the heavy shit and put the lighthearted questions first, I respect it. Okay part of what's tricky here is that to answer this properly I'd have to make some judgment calls about which of my deficiencies are rightly attributed to genuine lack of virtue vs to something like disability, and that's a scary distinction to look at too closely. So my instinct is to avoid any territory close to that border, but the actual true answer probably is close to the border--the below is probably something of a cop-out is what I'm saying.

Here's something I've only relatively recently started conceptualizing as a virtue: the desire and ability to share the enjoyment of the things you're passionate about with other people. The books and music and etc I like, I tend to be content to enjoy them by myself in the corner, whereas for other people experiencing these things alongside others and talking about them and stuff is a large part of the point. This latter tendency is most obvious in what gets called fandom but there are lots of other expressions of it, some more casual/normie, but I don't really do any of it very much. And I used to think this difference was just "people care about different things, whatever" but lately I'm leaning more towards thinking that the more communal approach is just straight-up superior; it looks like some important, richer varieties of experience are available over that way, and I now regret that I didn't try to move myself further in that direction when I was younger.

2. Show us an object in your daily life that you have an emotional attachment to - tell us a little bit about it if you want! (a favourite mug perhaps? socks with a cute pattern? dealers choice)

Mugs (plural) probably is the best answer to this, but I've already tackled that at great length here. What else... well, my main bookmark, given to me by a friend and depicting a scholar I respect very much, has lasted an impressively long time im humble o:

3. If you could choose, what level of fame would you want? How many people would you want to recognise you?

Impossible to imagine strangers randomly approaching me in the street to start conversations being anything other than nightmarish, so the ceiling has to be below that. I guess there's different types of fame that presumably make for very different experiences, a famous actor probably gets a rawer deal than an equivalently famous author, and the type of famous author whose demographic is such that self-promoting on instagram and twitter is part of the job description surely has a worse life than one who doesn't have to do that.

Someone who knows more about the culture than me could probably say exactly what kind of thing you should be famous for to minmax getting all the pleasant-feeling respect and financial rewards while preserving privacy and minimizing unpleasant public obligations, but I'm not sure what the answer is. However this comic still pops into my head occasionally after all this time and it might be a better answer than any of these words:

4. Where do you feel language is least adequate to capture, communicate, or express your experience?

Actually I don't often get the feeling that my difficulties in expressing myself are related to the limitations of language, I tend to run into more mundane constraints before that one becomes an issue, like my embarrassment around talking about myself or my not being in tune with my own mental life or the fact that my brain is very small. I think generally if something's too subtle to put into words it's too subtle for me to think clearly about/have anything worth saying about in the first place.

I guess my other possible answer to this would be "all of my experience of life in its entirety" which is also true in a way.

5. If you had to come up with a question with the following criteria:

a) it should disuade knee-jerk reaction answers (i.e. it shouldn't be something people are likely to have spent a lot of time considering before)

b) it shouldn't be too specialised (the audience should be general, don't ask about people's top 3 byzantine spice merchants opperating between 754AD-816AD)

c) it shouldn't be needlessly emotionally charged or divisive

d) it should be a question you expect people to have lots of varied opinions about

What would your question be?

Yeah no it's hard, you've done well. My first thought with criteria A (which I think is the hardest one to cover) is to make the question require describing somebody else's perspective on something, because that way even if the answerer has their own knee-jerk opinion about the thing they'd be forced to suspend that in their answer. Maybe something like this would work:

Think of a topic that somebody close to you has very different feelings about from your own--it can be the smallest, most trivial matter of taste or something weightier if you like--what do you think is the relevant difference between you and this person that explains your different takes on that topic?

I would hope that if this question were in an ask meme like this people would tend to focus on fun and/or lighthearted differences but maybe it would turn people's brains towards bitter conflicts, I'm not sure. Anyway I'm glad question 5 doesn't end with "...and what is your answer to that question?" because it looks difficult to me!

---

This was fun imo, some of the questions were more intimidating than is the norm for these things but what's wrong with a little spice you know, I recommend it, thank you @perdvivly for erecting this jungle gym of the soul. I'm following the same coward's strat as last time of picking people sort-of-randomly by tagging the last three mutuals to show up in my notifications, this time excluding the three I tagged last time, so that gives @fregolious, @abodywithorgans and @wellmetmat. I'd like to hear from you! If the random method somehow gave people I didn't want to hear from I would have had no qualms about fudging it until I got people I liked, so don't let that put you off! But also, again, any mutuals who feel like doing this and claiming that I tagged them should do so, because in spirit I have, you understand.

[iiboronii]

Ok so the aforementioned OC universe is known as IDPS, short for Interdimentional Pizza Shop (and Mercenary Work)! There is literal YEARS worth of lore and ideas put into this thing I love it so much :D

This version of Artic is the one in my pfp, and who the oc: artic tag refers to lol- Basically she's embodiment of the season of winter, a huge dragon enthusiast, and the much-needed voice of reason!!

She's not a "true" skeleton per se, like she's not undead, she's just kinda in the shape of one- Though she can disconnect and reattach her bones like a cartoon ouo

She has ice powers, but not in a "shooting ice beams out of your hands" kinda way, it's very contact based!

She can freeze things by touching them, she can make a layer of ice under her feet to sliiide around super fast, and sometimes she physically freezes up under stress so you have to wait for her to thaw out akjfds

She can pick up your drink and little ice cubes form in it, in whatever shape she wants! And when she cries the tears freeze up so there's just little bits of ice on her face you gotta wipe off

In IDPS there are these things called essences, which are the super concentrated (and super illegal) form of a concept, usually in liquid form like a potion. Like if you poured a drop of Essence of Princess onto an apple, it would turn all sparkly and have a big bow on it!

Artic just naturally has the Essence of Winter in her bones instead of blood or marrow! So she doesn't have to worry about vampires bc they'd just get a really bad brainfreeze lol

She mainly fights with dual blades made of ice, inspired by Monster Hunter's dual blades! She's a very strategic and speedy fighter, her movements almost dancelike in combat, and she likes to use the terrain to her advantage!

And since this is a multiverse story, she actually goes through the story mode of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, saving a village from a giant sea monster! The gal who gives out quests in that game, Aisha, is like an older sister to her hehe ouo

So Artic is a licensed monster hunter, and she is absolutely FASCINATED with these creatures and how they work. And after some shenanigans in her childhood town in the mountains, she even starts her own sanctuary to educate people and care for dragons that wouldn't make it in the wild!

Here she's shipped with Ink Sans, and they live together with her dragon pet / companion Blizzard ouo!

It's this really sweet little story about Ink showing this really anxious and sheltered girl the world, seeing all the potential and life in her eyes and wanting to see her blossom.

And there's a scene where Ink is trying to hide his condition (basically he's undead and needs to drink magic paints in order to feel and regulate emotions), bc so many people have left him after finding out. But Artic doesn't mind at all, after all it's still him and she likes him for who he is ouo

The two are basically opposites, but they work well together and they're just silly little guys in love ouo

Artic's main arc is about identity and archetypes. Like how winter is often portrayed as this harbinger of death that needs to be driven away, but Artic is really soft and sweet-

She wants so desperately to be a hero, but the archetypal hero is confident and charming and brave and super strong; everything she thinks she isn't. But in reality, she's the most heroic of her peers because of her kindness!

There's a whole theme of knights and dragons and legends, realizing that those notions of what she should or shouldn't be don't define her, because people are more complex and nuanced than that ouo

THIS IS SO COOL OUGHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

My FAVORITE part is that there's literal years of lore built into this thing. Clearly it has been crafted with nothing but love and care in mind and I think that's beautiful.

I didn't even realize that was Artic in your pfp?? That's so cute I love it so so much :DD (Is there a high definition version I can look at? I wanna see her clearer!)

ARTIC'S POWERS ARE SO NEAT IN THIS!!!! I want heart shaped ice cubes that's actually so cute. And the way her abilities affect the way she experiences stress and cries? Chef's kiss. Do her ice powers affect her whenever she experiences other intense emotions? And also can the thawing out process be helped by blankets and stuff or does she just stay frozen? Oooh or does she just continuously keep refreezing bc of the stress? Like trying to thaw her out helps a little but not for long and not much? SORRY I'M JUST SO CURIOUS I REALLY LIKE THE CONCEPT OF HER POWERS AFFECT HER BASED ON EMOTIONS THAT'S SO FREAKING COOL-

And essences!!!!!! Oughhh I really like the concept (pun intended)!!!!! Is there an essence for every concept or just certain ones? And vampires getting brainfreeze LMFAO. Can you drink an essence or does that turn your organs into the concept? And is Artic the only person with an essence in her bones or do other people have it?

THE COMBAT YES OMFG I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY,,, STRATEGIC AND SPEEDY AND DANCELIKE I LOVE IT!!! She's so intelligent using the terrain!!! I can see her in my head looking around, eyes darting quickly to survey the area as she narrowly avoids an attack before making her next move!! Effortlessly she slashes her opponent when they're not looking due to her adaptability and quick thinking.

And I'm so sorry I don't know anything about Monster Hunter whatsoever </3 BUT I DID SOME RESEARCH FOR YOU OFC AND IT LOOKS LIKE SM FUN???? I didn't get much of the story aspect of it but it seems great omg. Anyways Artic's curiosity is always something I love seeing!! I can see her killing this giant sea monster (Lagiacrus, I presume?) and then being like "wait a moment- I know this thing was terrorizing you all but I want a closer look at it-" AND FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED OUGHHH ARTIC AND AISHA <333 THAT'S SO CUTE,,, and the sanctuary <33. Artic is so caring it's so sweet!! It's completely refected in her character and everything she does, I think. Not just in IDPS but across the board! Like. She saves this village from a sea monster and she wants dragons to be taken care of because she's just like that natrually. And even in like Buttermilk Daydreams she just wants to take care of The Onceler as best as she can!!!! And in the Biggering AU even though she's MAD at this man she's STILL telling him that they'll figure something out (they always do). Sorry I'm literally IN LOVE with the threads that stitch your AUs together I got so sidetracked LMFAO-

But anyways Artic and Ink Sans being opposites is SO GOOD AAAAAA- Artic feels so deeply and Ink doesn't feel at all without the paints. Artic has been sheltered and Ink has seen too much. And there's Artic's sweet and caring side coming out again!! Ink is afraid to tell Artic about his condition, but Artic could care less.

ARTIC SELF DISCOVERY YES YES YES YES YES!!!! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO GIVE INTO THE STEREOTYPES!!!!!! She's not winter even though she has its essence flowing within her. She's a hero even though she doesn't look like it. And her kindness being the thing that makes her most heroic?? I'M IN LOVE. This is what I was talking about earlier!!!! She's just so caring and sweet!!! It's something she uses to her advantage!!!!

[foibles-fables]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @uhhhyaenbyjade!!

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Sitting at 79, currently!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 363,375

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Like, ever? Lots of them over the past twenty years, hahah. Currently it's mostly Horizon that's got me by the throat, but I've also put out a couple one-offs for Stray Gods and Control over the least year. Besides those, I'd say my main claims to clownery would be Legend of the Seeker and Warrior Nun. I'm also finally dipping my toes into the ATLA scene after missing the boat for way, way too long.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm gonna remix this question a little bit and pick the top one from my an amalgamation of my five most prominent/recent fandoms, since otherwise Warrior Nun dominates due to sheer fandom size-- 1- Because the Light Is Close (Warrior Nun) 2- The Weight of Us (Legend of the Seeker) 3- rest like you belong here. (Horizon) 4- brave this time (Stray Gods) 5- dream geometries (Control)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do!!! Gotta lavish my genuine gratitude on you lovely, wonderful, amazing folks who take time out of your day to read and hype up my silly writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh hmmm. If we're talking recently (like, written since 2010) it's gotta be so i'll stay half away (Horizon). That comic, man. lmao. lol. OH! Or waiting through daybreak (Stray), because that cat game is an emotional wrecking ball

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

TOO MANY OF THEM, LATELY? I feel like I need to dive back into a bittersweetness era, because wouggghh have my endings been tooth-rottingly sweet. Recently I'd pin this title on entering light (Horizon).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not directly on the fics or to my face, which is nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah! Overwhelmingly sapphic, usually of the more esoteric variety re: language. Using sex as a character study is my passion.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not in many, many moons have I written a crossover. And the only time I ever did, it was from two shows in the same universe, lmao.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

For the first time recently, yes!!! So freakin cool! Check out this Mandarin translation of eye for eye, tooth for tooth (Control).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, but I gotta thank Meg for being my cowriter on Talanah's FOTH path!!!!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

don't make me choose between Cara/Kahlan and Aloy/Talanah. please

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sorry to that one early Warrior Nun fic I left hanging after a single chapter

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotional immediacy, prose-craft, evocative syntax, lyricality

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

MY SPEED. OUGGHHHH. Also I am actively trying to get better at dialogue, along with location/setting descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd tackle it if it fit the scope of the fic, and only with the guidance of someone fluent in said language!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Written for and posted? The Xenosaga series at age 11, baybeeee. I wrote plenty before that without posting, however.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This legitimately changes on the daily. It's impossible for me to choose, so I'll just toss out if you held yourself up to the light (Horizon) as today's contender.

No-pressure tags: @mehoymalloy @tjerra14 @finrays @sssammich @askweisswolf and anyone else who sees this and wants a go! Just tag me as your tagger!