#feeling melancholic now tho

[littlestartopaz]

This is a thank you to all my temporary friends.

To all my friends for a day, who participated in something with me and i never saw again.

To my friends whom i knew since childhood, then distance drew us apart.

To my best friends and siblings of choice who moved away or never lived near me to begin with.

To my friends whose inboxes I'll agonize over for hours, aching to reconnect but not knowing how.

To all my internet friends who moved on.

To all the traitors and back stabbers and fake friends, i guess i was the only one who thought us friends, but thank you too for being kind while you were.

Thank you all, for being my friend. I ache for the days we talked and laughed. I hope that life treats you well, and that you find someone who can accept you as you need.

[stsebastiens]

in case u couldn’t tell. the seasonal depression had a chokehold on me in the beginning of the year

[savannahsdeath]

a part 2 of -this- ❈ dealer!ellie . an unspecified-criminal's daughter!reader and her father's reunion . this is v short but this lil part had to be done anyway and the next part(s?) will be a rollercoaster istg!!!

warnings: only smoking and language

she tried to cover up her surprise with a nervous smile on her lips. the same lips which quickly ended up babbling curses anyway.

you hesitantly grinned at the view of the spooked girl. "yeah, daughter!" you haughtily declared, though your voice was even more surprised than hers.

"holy shit." she extended her hand. "i'm ellie. i work for him."

"you do?" you almost squealed and shook her hand, murmuring your own name in exchange. she started to lead the way and you were happy to see that you were walking in the right direction the whole time.

"yeah. it's nice to meet you, tho..." without turning around, she looked at you over her shoulder, as if to make sure you're still following her footsteps. "he never told me he has a kid—" and just like that, in a swift moment — like a snap of fingers, she realised why.

you didn't know what to answer. you weren't shocked, yet something about this fact made you somber and melancholic. you just nodded, before slightly changing the topic to a more optimistic side. "so, what is he like?"

she turned and started walking down a narrow, claustrophobic street, which welcomed you with two buildings surrounding your sides.

you couldn't help but feel like your question knocked her out of rhythm. "uh-oh— well, he's a good guy, just... harsh," she admitted, "but i'm sure he will treat you like a princess."

you smirked as you got to an exposed surface again.

ellie stopped in front of a meager pub. "trust me, you prefer to not come inside. i'll call him outside in a second, 'kay?"

you agreed and restlessly stamped your foot while waiting. you forcefully put the letter in your pocket, crushing it mercilessly. all you could hear was the muffled voices of men inside and the smashed piece of paper, which crunched as your leg moved.

ellie came out in the presence of a man twice your age. you tried to notice any similarities between you both and, though you couldn't point out any specific ones, you were sure you have his genes.

the girl backed away and leaned against the pub's wall, leaving some space for you. she took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and stuck one between her thumb and index finger.

you felt the paving tiles turning sticky like a slime, making you unable to take a step in any direction. all you could do was stare at him, with your lips going dry, aching head and eyes unable to cry, yet lachrymose.

you cleared your throat and heard him whisper your name, as he stood right in front of you now. he raised his hands and cupped your face with them, lightly caressing your skin. yours found their place on his, brushing your fingers against his. you felt his muscles flex and hypothetically but properly conjectured his job made him strong, whatever it was.

you smiled, favoring him with your pearly whites. your cheeks felt scorching, almost sizzling and your whole body somehow painfully tingly. he pulled away after what seemed like eternity and patted your shoulder.

"what a pretty girl" he whispered, amazed and dazed, before taking a step aside, revealing you to ellie's eyes. "she looks just like me, doesn't she?"

as the girl parted her lips, a cloud of smoke soared and smudged in the air. "i can't spot any differences," she shouted, "it's hard to tell you two apart. identical like two drops of water!"

your father gently but quickly spun you around, so you weren't facing her anymore. "not funny!" he hissed, what made you flinch, though you could hear ellie chuckle in response. he turned back to you, his hand landed on the small of your back. "i know a very good restaurant near!" he exclaimed, moreover you just noticed how hungry you are and how much things there are to tell and talk about.

✧˖°

taglist: @bellaramslover @gold-dustwomxn @loverg1rlll @juliluvsu @timmy-27 @marianeski @kuromicoree @inf3ct3dd @mikellie @elliewilliamsonlygirlfriend @syrenada @drunkzuko @florencepughismybae @weridcattty @kanksaint @villainousbear @coff1nn @emst4rr @thehungrygayterpillar-blog @skylerwhitwyo @macaroni676 @cupid1ink @xen222 @onlinelesbo @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @elliew-illiamsmissingfingers @mochiivqi @lilylynne11 @sevvenspit @williamsblogxx @707bnnyy @poopypeen @agajahan @kali-1014 @lullsss @corpsebridenightamare

[barrenclan]

Everyone is jumping on the theory wagon so here are my personal predictions:

-You made a few posts about how one of the themes of PATFW is finding hope in hopeless situations which makes me think the ending of it won't be completly bleak. I think it'll be bittersweet, although leaning more on the bitter side. Maybe something along the lines of TMA's ending but a bit more melancholic

-Rainhaze is gonna die. There's no hope for him by now. Although, I think it would've been real fucked up if everybody except for him died and he was forced to go on without a purpouse. Fascinating but not that likely to happend imo

-I think both Blacknose and her kits will live, not only that I think at least one other character will survive so they can help her with the children. My bets on it are either Egrettail, Slugpelt or Daffofilpaw

-Barrenclan is DEFINATLY not getting reformed after the defience attack. I mean the previous chapter is literally called the death of Barrenclan

-I think Pinepaw will die at the end of the story, possibly in a murder/suicide in order to defeat Deepdark. It's sad, but I think it's a very likely possibility. Cormorantpaw will survive though and will have to live with only his memory :( Perhaps he'll get to reunite with his siblings though?

-I feel like to parallel the fire that burned down the forest that Roseclan resided in there's gonna be a fire near the end of the story. Not sure yet what it'll do yet tho. Perhaps it'll snuff out the defience?

-I'm not sure how likely it'll be but I think it'd be really nice if Pinepaw got to talk to or interact with some of the more unwilling members of the defience. Perhaps have a bit of a heart-to-heart with them as they're all stuck in the same horrible situation.

-To wrap this up, here are some other characters that I think will die: Redpelt, Beeface and/or Plumstripe (Either they both die defending the clan side by side and make peace with eachother, or only one of them dies and the other grieve the fact that she wasn't a better sister to her in life. Either way at least one of them is dying) and Prowl

YAAAAY I love these long endgame theory predictions so much. :D So much I can't say but I can read everything and nod my head sagely. ALSO I adore the bingos, they're so funny.

[wheeboo]

seventeen as wave to earth songs

FEATURING. seventeen (ot13) GENRE. headcanons WARNINGS. none WORD COUNT. 1.3k

notes: i thought n wrote this within the hours of 3-4 am because my brain couldn’t fight the urge even tho no one asked for this lmao ;; im blaming this seungkwan edit on tiktok that conspired me to do this. a lot of ppl have prob done this but this is my take (some of them were HARD) :') honestly any of these can be switched around

choi seungcheol as calla

the first word i associated with this song is "devotion", and my mind immediately thought of cheol. he is the definition of loyalty and puts in his all when it comes to love and towards whoever his calla will be. he has the power of reassurance and hope, and this can also be interpreted vice versa will cheol being the "calla" of the relationship--the one who may be withering away inside, so he needs that other half to supply him with the rain that he needs to grow

"But Calla, you can always grow back, oh If you don't have enough sunlight I'll blow the clouds away, Calla Bloom yourself until the end"

yoon jeonghan as daisy.

jeonghan as daisy just MAKES SENSE?? he is the splash of colour within a simplistic life, a constant source of happiness even in the most mundane situations. i just love the vibrant feels of this song and it makes me imagine a scenario of running down the beach holding hands with him. seeing his presence just never fails to brighten up my day up, and its just a very comforting song in general which reminds me sm of him

"Oh, daisy, it's my happiness to run into you Life always goes on and on But, I'll live with you forever So, be my daisy"

joshua hong as bad

the instrumentals of the song gives me joshua vibes. and just like the lyrics, how can the sight of joshua's smile/just him in general not make your day even better? for some reason i also had an imagination of him serenading someone with this song plsss, it would be so swoonworthy to hear that. its such a romantic song abt finding joy and happiness in your loved one, and i think joshua has a lot of love inside of him

"How could my day be bad when I'm with you? You're the only one who makes me laugh So how can my day be bad? It's a day for you"

wen junhui as light

the constant mention of the moon and the sky just gives me jun energy. i don't know if the word quirky is the right word to call this song (probably not, now that i think abt it, maybe more calm) but its a word i would definitely describe jun with. he's always a person who tries his best to shine as much as he could and he's just someone you can rely on yk

"You are my sea, you are my sunshine The star, the moon"

kwon soonyoung as pink

this song is just very... freeing and nostalgic? and it reminds of me soonyoung where everything just feel so liberating and free when it comes to being with him. his spirit just seems to rid of any worries just so easily, and it kind of reminds me of the sunset, where the colour pink is shown, and just like the song says- it's such a beautiful colour just like him

"During the sunset The pink light is clear It drew you, the beautiful you Your image" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)

jeon wonwoo as seasons

someone had to be seasons and it was such a hard choice of who to give this song to but ultimately, i picked wonwoo. this song is just so bittersweet and melancholic. it holds so many heartfelt emotions inside of it but also so many unhappy emotions as well. it displays vulnerability and how that kind of feeling can feel burdensome to those around you and overall, i feel like he is the more perfect choice for this song tbh

"Oh my life is fallin' apart Maybe no one will notice if I disappear But I'll pray for you all the time If I could be by your side I'll give you all my life, my seasons"

lee jihoon as wave

i absolutely adore the instrumentals of this song sm. it's about embracing the unknown with someone special and i feel like the kinda fits with jihoon very well. i just love the symbolism of waves and stars in the song and how it symbolises this desire to adventure and traverse thru the unknown. i also think jihoon is very introspective n knowing that nothing lasts forever, but with the wave being mentioned that will last forever just,, perfectly contrasts with that? this was a bit hard to explain asljkdlas n made more sense in my head

"When you spoke to me, The words are like a floating star Now I'm next to you The waves will take us far away"

xu minghao as ride

the lyrics of the song is basically describing someone else being your safe space, and i definitely think minghao is that. he is the type of person whose presence is an easy source of comfort to whatever sort of emotional baggage one may hold. he's simply just the definition of the word comfort and to me, is what this song gives

"I'm on a ride Ride You are my city Everything"

kim mingyu as peach eyes

mingyu is just the type of person whose eyes seem to hold SO MUCH love or appear so lovestruck? or just him in general tbh--he just seems to hold so much love and is willing to dump that all for the person he adores w all his life. like eyes can carry so much within them istg. this song is also more on the cheery and upbeat side and i definitely think that resonates w the type of person that he is

"Peach eyes and blue skies It's on the moonlight, how many songs I write You'll be my sunlight, how could I not rely On you, peach eyes?"

lee seokmin as sunny days

the sun = seokmin hello?? i love the description of nature in this song and it reminds me of walking in the park on a sunny afternoon with him and it's just so perfect, like how everything is just so insignificant without the presence of the other person aka him. it's a golden type of love where it doesn't waver even as time goes by, and i can definitely see that with seokmin

"You are my golden age Evеrything shines so bright That my eyes go blind Our youth never ages here"

boo seungkwan as love.

this is my favourite wave to earth song btw. it may just be me being very biased but listening to the song while thinking of him just FITS him? the song is literally abt the strength of love thru hardships, being someone with a fragile heart, and reminds me of those types of hugs where it just feels... right? like everything is simply okay? the song makes me ascend each time i listen to it on full blast, and boo never fails to make me ascend with not just his voice, but his care and the amount of love he carries in himself, his strength, just HIM

"My little heart too Like small waves in it Broken and pushed back Melting into you Only then can I see my eternity" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)

vernon chwe as so real

the instrumentals in this song esp at the end are so superior btw. other than that, despite the calm vibes this song emits just like vernon, it's also a song about feeling stuck, about being lost in your emotions. not that i'm assuming vernon is feeling this way, but in general, it reminds me of that feeling being alone in your own world which i think suits him with this song more than others

"I can't explain Where I'm buried now An empty vein You'll never understand"

lee chan as surf.

this song has such an uplifting and upbeat vibe and it's about enjoying the time that you have, even though it's temporary, and living in the moment spending time with yourself and also those that you love as well. the lyrics make me smile so much, and i definitely think chan fits the song very well because i def think he has this power to charge others (like his members) with energy just by being himself

"Dance my babe, dance my friends We don't have much time to enjoy Just sing it my babe Bigger than you ever did We don't have much time to enjoy Our time will be gone someday But I'm okay Life is like surfin' anyway"

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae

[salty-an-disco]

@mecchantheotaku. welp. you inspired me, so here some misc headcanons I don’t think I ever expanded on, and feel like doing it now:

– Contrarian has no bones. It’s just air keeping him up. Can still bleed and feel pain and comedically get smashed against surfaces, but cannot break. Inexplicably, a skeleton still appear on X-rays and when electrocuted, and knocking on their ‘skull’ still makes the usual sound.

– Similarly, Damsel also doesn’t have bones. Like she’s made of some soft material and squishing her is like squishing a stress ball (can still get hurt, tho, which she doesn’t like, pain isn’t fun). Damsel 🤝 Contrarian: Cartoon Physics.

– Cold has a terrible sense of direction and gets lost multiple times while walking anywhere public.

– Hunted has no concept of time, don’t tell it ‘meet you there in 30 mins’, it doesn’t understand what that means, just say whether the sun will still be up by the time you’re there.

– Cheated doesn’t like getting angry, actually, but she can’t help it so she just do her best to avoid things that make her angry (sadly, cannot get over her addiction to LoL 😔 she always comes back to it eventually).

– Witch is a great mixer; drinks, smoothies, (maybe even songs), and most importantly: potions!! (I just think she should get to be an actual witch)

– Even when leaving the construct, Spectre cannot change her appearance. She doesn’t really care, for the most part, but sometimes, it hits her and she gets incredibly melancholic over it

– On the flip-side, Nightmare can make whatever clothes she wants (it’s just another mask, she’s great at making those) and often rotate between different victorian-like dresses

– I mentioned it before, but it bears repeating, I think Hero likes carving. He needs a creative hobby, and I think he’d find the process of carving wood satisfying and calming and also loving making little wooden animals, even if they don’t look the best (just let that boy experience the joy of creation!!!)

– Stranger learns how to sew mainly so they can make clothes that fits them, but they actually take a huge liking to it and also starting making all kinds of other creations (like little patterned clothes or even plushies!!!)

– In any other universe, Tower would be a karen

[stxrrynxghts]

Ranking the songs of Ponniyin Selvan

The sole reason for making this post is because I. AM. OBSESSED. Also, I am not a music expert, so this is just about how the songs sounded to me.

14. PS Anthem

I...I don't have anything to say. It's an okay song for me, I just don't like it as much as the other tracks, simple.

13. Devaralan Aattam

Again, same thing. It is a nice piece of music...I am not that fond of it. This album is soooo good, and this song is a nice song. Except I kind of get scared when I listen to it T-T.

12. Aazhi Mazhai Kanna

It is soooo pretty! My only complaint is that it is...what? A minute long?! I wish it were a full fledged, 2-3 minute long song...It has a such a lovely vibe, and I am in love with the music video.

11. Ilaiyor Soodar

It has a kind of nostalgic, old-ish vibe? IDK how to describe it, but it feels kind of melancholic, which I think it is meant to be? This is very small as well, no?

10. Chinnanjiru (Marumurai)

This is one of my fav songs on this album actually, but I don't listen to it that much, because it makes me cry. I think this song might actually make me depressed, it's so beautifully made and sung.

9. Chola Chola

It has a very energetic vibe, over all. Why do I feel that this would be a good gym song tho? It also seems like a strong dance song, and I love it for that. Also, I listened to the Hindi version first, and I highly recommend it.

8. Chinnanjiru Nilave

It is a very beautiful piece of music. My favorite part is how the music starts off with a very cheerful tune, and keeps it throughout the song, while slowly adding a tragic/painful tone as the song progresses. It really fits the couple it is picturized on. Who is the singer, guys? Another song whose Hindi version I loved.

7. Shivoham

I really love the fact that this song's lyrics are taken directly from Nirvana Shatakam. I am a sucker for well made religious music, especially with Sanskrit lyrics, and this is one of those songs. Someone make a 1 hour loop of this, it is toooooo short.

6. Ponni Nadhi

This was the first PS song I listened to, and it is so, so, so good!!!! Such an energetic and simultaneously peaceful song. The music video is so precious as well, and the fact that it is picturized on Vanthiyathevan is just another plus for me. Makes me want to sing along whenever I listen to it.

ANNNDDDDD NOW, TOP 5.

5. Ratchasa Maamaney

Sweetie, I am so sorry. I feel so guilty for ranking this so low. This is an awesome song. Shreya Ghoshal is a pleasure as always, and the music + music video are just precious. This song has such festive vibes, and Vanthiyathevan's parts are so hilarious. The flute in the beginning has fulfilled all my dreams.

4. Sol

Now, NGL, but I was not that big of a fan of this song initially, when I first heard it, but it grew on me. The whistling, the sound of water, everything is so cute. This is the most adorable song I have ever heard. The Tamil version was my fav.

3. Aga Naga

It is so dreamy and breath-taking for me. I am in love with this song. The instruments, and the singing, everything is top notch. IDK how people can dislike this song. It has a slow touch to it, and it is very romantic, but has subtle vibes? Like this song gives me the vibe of loving someone, but from afar?

2. Alaikadal

So dreamy and peaceful. I listened to all of it's versions, and it has a mysterious + chill vibe. Antara Nandy is such a good singer. This song just transports you to a different world.

WINNER: Veera Raja Veera

This song is just....perfection. Chef's kiss. Out of this world. ROYAL. I always blast this song on full volume, and it is EVERYTHING. This song is just....I don't have words for it. The lyrics are even more perfect. The part before the last chorus is my fav and I just-

Also the music video.

DAMN.

I am screaming, shrieking, throwing up whenever I listen to it.

What is your ranking?

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Slow dancing in the moonlight with either Zero or Ashton? Who would enjoy that more? What song would they be dancing to?

Slow dancing in the moonlight with Zero and Ashton!

I need a break from school so here I am answering a bit of my inbox. Still on hiatus tho! Just need a break.

Also, ALL LAUFEY SONGS YEAHHH

Yandere! Butler

Song: What Love will do to You by Laufey Lately, I've been in a haze Running late, can't think straight The world feels smaller, yet the trees look taller There's enchantment in the air I know I sound stupid, I do That's what love will do to you

Zero has been patient all the time with you. He's been slowly making you fall in love with him, but also making sure you were fine with your pregnancy. He is still a chimera after all. This pregnancy might be dangerous for your health.

But he held your hand gently as he guided you to the rooftop balcony.

The prince has been stressing you out greatly, even after you announced that you want to annul the engagement. Saying that he'll accept this bastard's son, and that he wants to be back together with you.

This, of course, pissed off Zero a lot. What does he even mean by that? Typical behavior.

After being caught, the prince fainted from shock, but you only batted your eyelashes and hugged Zero, who has a protective hold on your body. After being dragged away, the prince went on a mad ramble saying that you cheated on him.

The public was more or less secretly laughing at the prince's hypocrisy, getting tired of having the prince and his mistress as gossip, and was now more interested in you and Zero.

But currently, the both of you were on the path of marriage.

Marriage?

Yes, because of the child growing inside of you, Zero cannot just be your butler forevermore. He needs to be your spouse to recognize the child officially.

But, at the advice of the doctor, you need to get to 2nd trimester to avoid any danger, especially that the 1st trimester is the most dangerous.

But with the prince going on and on about wanting to be back with you... It's stressing you out.

So, to ease your tense body, he brought you to the balcony.

"Master... Ah, no. Y/n." Zero whispered, holding your left hand with his right as his other hand gently caressed your waist.

Music wafted from a resonance device, playing a song from the up and coming singer that you heard of.

Zero smiled, guiding you to a well practiced dance that you expected from your perfect butler, who knows everything.

With the night breeze just chilly enough that it was comfortable, and the moon being your personal spotlight, Zero brought you close, leaning his head on top of your head/on your chest.

"I love you, Y/n. And I will do anything and everything for you. I promise you that."

Yandere! Emo

Song: Lovesick by Laufey When the gold rays fell on your skin And my hair got caught in the wind The choir sang a melancholic hymn In the morning, you would gone I'd be mourning, tryin' to hold on To the memory of your lips God, I'm so lovesick What have you done to me?

Ashton stumbled forward. His feet clumsily prodding from one step to another as you pulled him from the Spring Dance.

It's been three months since the start of your arrangement with him.

You truly don't know how you became so in love with Ashton, but here you were, giggling as you pulled him away from the blaring pink lights, flowers, and the gaggle of students dancing and flirting.

You wanted to be alone with him again.

It honestly agitates you how much you always craved him. It felt so... Forced? But do you care right now?

No, not by the look of Ashton flushing red as he watched the both of your hands intertwined.

Is this the same guy who bends you over almost everyday and makes you his?

In your rose tinted glass look of him, he's adorable and perfect. Just the correct amount of gap between his dorkiness and seriousness. You loved his connection with emotion, his lifestyle, and well, style.

Even in Spring Dance, where he's wearing a rolled up white dress shirt, black vest, loose necktie, skinny jeans, a pink rose corsage, and his piercings, he still incorporated his unique style despite being targeted due to it.

Maybe that's it? He's so unapologetic about it.

Yeah. Maybe.

And with your pink spring outfit, you both looked the total opposite but you honestly loved it. Breaking barriers between socially constructed groups is what you want to advocate after weeks being with Ashton.

The pink flower petals scattered around you as the wind picked up, brushing away the petals like a broom.

And now, you dragged him to the rooftop and away from the gardens where the dance happened.

"Ashton! Let's dance! Just the both of us!" You delightfully said, bringing him close and goofily dancing to the song that the garden was blasting.

Ashton gave a light chuckle, a blush on his cheeks. "Alright, alright."

On the other hand, Ashton was over the moon. His eyes looked at you with so much affection that you were unaware of.

You were enjoying yourself greatly, the pink lights reaching your skin and casting a fun, exciting glow to the both of you as you both danced to however both of your bodies wish too.

And, as the night went on, Ashton forgot the pink love potion hidden on his back pocket, deluding himself that your affection was real, and not forced by him.

At the very least, this night will be something genuine to him.

[msbhagirathi]

IPKKND LIVE BLOG SEASON 1 [Epi. 6]

Come, let's begin.

1. Episode starts with Khushi flashing back to all the horrible moments that happened that day. Mind you, this is the same day going on, the day just after Payal's marriage broke and the day all of them went to The Dargah.

2. The same day Arnav and Khushi had their fight regarding Gods and their existence. Then him releasing those clippings and the Mul Rajani part and Khushi in the market with her parents and all of a sudden people giving her annoying glares and muttering things about her character, then their encounter with Shyam and coming back to GS, her parents' decision to send her away to Delhi and then finally, them going to the office of that news channel and her finding out about him, releasing those clips. Uff. A lot to happen in a single day. I think, they forgot to end a day, in between. Lol. Enough. Now back to the epi.

3. Khushi is adorably ranting about her horrible day which was made even more horrible by that 'Laard Gorverner'. (Yes that's the official spelling for me now. But who cares? Lol.)

4. I don't think we should take it jokingly tho but I don't know why did they show as if Khushi is intrigued by him more than being indifferent to his existence completely. She's already given him a nick name and keeps using it, at every chance she gets.

5. She's got insulted by almost the entire Lucknow and her neighborhood and yet they show as if she is not that serious with his misbehavior and him in general entirely for something so terrible that happened to her. She never even mentioned it at least once about this incidence later.

I agree that they did it for the show, but still, they could have shown her anger, her indifference like they did it in the guesthouse track. The fierce and no-nonsense Khushi. Whatever.

6. While she is recalling her opinion regarding "Bina dil ki Dilli, machis ki tilli." (It's a rhyme made for Delhi and it's heartless people.) There, Shyam comes up, after stalking and following her from that office and is now pretending as if he was passing from there and merely happened to coincidently see her there too. Bloody b_stard.

7. Now. Tell me. How did he know it was her father's 'batua' ? Okay. Fine. His photo must have been there. And address too. Coz he reveals that he was coming to her house. And Khushi is caught off guard by the revelation, but seeing her astonishment he quickly diverts her attention by twisting his answer. KHUSHI!? DON'T IGNORE YOUR GUT INSTINCT OKAY!?! DON'T!!! I AM WARNING YOU OF THIS LEECH!

8. Lol. Who am I kidding? This is the same girl who was in denial of her feelings for a certain someone, okay let's not go there right now.

9. Btw, this is for all the girls who are reading this. Never ignore your gut-instinct or more precisely the girl-instinct. Never ever. Be very aware of who is around you for what purpose or intention. Now. Back to the epi.

10. Khushi, naively, tells him everything about who she knows there and who is she going with. Girls, I am warning you again. Never indulge into a complete stranger, let alone giving them info bout yourself or your location.

11. She did not have to tell him, any of that. Don't be too good for your own good, Khushi, please.

12. The atmosphere in GS is very melancholic as they complete their last minute packings and babuji comes and offers a spoonful of dahi-chini. Khushi has tears in her eyes but probably this is the last time that she would cry and anyone would not get affected by it, because after this Arnav would always, always, always get hugely affected whenever he would find Khushi crying. Ok. Ab chalo, Dilli.

13. The sun dawns, the next day and we find ourselves standing on the busy roads of Delhi, outside the railway station.

14. Khushi complains about the speeding cars and compares them to the ones in Lucknow.

15. Buaji demonstrates the method to cross a road, this busy. Buaji, leave the girls, even I won't be able to cross the road the way you did. You are unique, Buaji. You are you. No one can be you. Lol.

16. The girls fret over a little, but nervously start to cross the road. But, ultimately, they end up creating, a traffic jam.

17. Hahahahaahahah. The auto scene always gets me. Lol. Buaji tries to get in the auto, while complaining about the size of the 'darwajja' (door). And when she gets in from this side, Khushi falls down from the other side. Lol.

18. "Humara auto mein toh teen ka hee permit hai, mataji." "Toh hum kaa chaar dikhayi de rahe haen?" *smacks the driver* "Chal nikaal riksa." Lol. (My auto permits only three people, ma'am. Do we seem to be four people, here? *smacks the driver* Now come on start the riksha.)

19. So. Tho. Funnily portrayed. But, sad, as well. The driver adjusts the mirror to stare at Khushi while driving and Khushi is well aware, so she covers her face with her dupatta. This. Right, here. You won't believe but this kind of behavior is so damn common, even I have faced these kinds of situations. I HATE THIS. I DESPISE THIS. I DOWNRIGHT ABHORE THIS. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. Enough. Now get back to the epi.

20. They are there. Laxminagar. They get out of the riksa. Buaji asks the fare and the driver says it's 200. Khushi feels that it is ridiculously high. She starts arguing but the driver says he is ready to dismiss the fare for her, in a very flirtatious tone. So, Khushi being Khushi, pulls a suitcase so hard, that it smacks his head from the back, before giving a final blow, she says "Maaf kijiye, Bhaiyyaji. (scowls)" Lmao. I love Khushi.

21. Buaji tells them about the situation of water supply in Delhi. And, she goes inside the house. Khushi and Payal share their feelings of the 'weird' experiences they faced up until now.

22. AND. HI BITWA. Oh. When did you land in Delhi? You know what your wife has also arrived in Delhi. Ahhhhhhh. The cravat. (😍) Lol. ASR guitar BG score is so soothing. Arnav is leaving for office. Anjali di has made his 'favorite' Bhuni methi ke parathe (roasted fenugreek seeds' flatbread) "Side rakhne ke liye nahi de rahe hain, kha lena." Lol.

23. Anjali di reminds him to come back home early as today Naniji is coming back from her pilgrimage to Vaishno Devi and there is a puja at their house. But, our chhotte straight up refuses to 'waste' his precious time in 'these' things and asks her to make up some excuse for his absence.

24. Anjali di is reminded of the 'prasaad' that she has to make for the puja so after saying, "Chhotte tum na bohot baatein karte ho, dekha sab gadbad karaa di, hum chalte hein, bye.", (when she did all the talking and didn't even let her chhotte speak a single word. Lol.), she leaves. Her chhotte is left incredulous at her antics.(Those who say that he started smiling or feel any positive emotion only after Khushi came into his life permanently, SEE THAT, GO AND OPEN THE EPISODE.)

25. Phuphaji? Worked? In? Railways? Lol. See this.

26. "Tohre hoth bijli aawat nahi, girat hai girat. Dham dharaam." Lol. Buaji. I hate to admit this. But. You are so damn right.

27. "Haan. Jaise aaj aap girin." Famous Last Words Ft. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.

28. And Buaji throws a cushion at her for spitting the fact of the century. Buaji. Please let her be.

29. Did I say it earlier? I think not enough. I will say it again. Babuji is the only person who can read Khushi so well.

30. Hmm. So. Buaji. WHAT IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM, HUH? Whatever.

31. Buaji makes fun of her tears. Why Buaji why? Why do you exist?

32. Khushi and Payal enter ~what seems to be like~ their room as Khushi describes it aptly- Kamra nahi puratatva vibhaag ki site (Not a room but an archaeological site. Lol. I snorted.)

33. Both the sisters take up the meticulous job of cleaning the room.

34. One jerk of the dirty bedsheet and Buaji is immediately having an attack of asthma from all the dirt shoved her way.

35. Both of them panic and help her lay down on the bed. Khushi rushes to find her pump but to their utter dismay, it's empty.

36. Khushi snatches her basta and phone and rushes out to buy a new one. She takes Paaji's scooter along with her.

37. Bitwa informs his manager that he is crossing Connaught Place and that he will be there for the meeting in ten minutes.

38. His manager further goes on to give him a 'good' news that 'that fashion show wali ladki' has been humiliated so much by the people that she has left the city altogether (Arnav, did you send your men to keep a check on your dear wife Khushi?)

Arnav admonishes him for wasting his 'precious' time. (Tell me something honestly Bitwa, you did feel bad for her, even if it was just for a fleeting second, didn't you?)

And just as he says the line that it doesn't affect him even if she leaves the country, Khushi's reflection appears on the side glass of his car and she whoosh pasts him in a second. (Watch out Bitwa, she is definitely not in some other country but in the same city as you, not very far too, so be careful, you might fall in love.)

39. And, now yet another time, Khushi is on a scooter with a funny-looking helmet and she is driving.....or more like running, skidding, jumping but in a scooter way. Lol. This is her 'Hum Khushi Kumari Gupta' style driving.

(Remember the 'Hum Khushi Kumari Gupta' style running, skidding, jumping, i referred to in Epi. 3? This is the driving edition. Lol. Whatever.)

40. Okay, one more point, after that i am coming back to the epi. See, the last time, Khushi was on the scooter and where did she end up? Infront of her husband Arnavji.

This time as well she is on a scooter, so where will she end up? Not very hard to guess it, i think? Kyun meri Parmeswariyon? *winks*

41. So. Now. Back to the epi.

42. Payal informs her sister that 'pados wale Kaul uncle' had brought a pump for Buaji and now she is fine but Khushi insists that she should get her a new one anyways.

43. And. Within a few moments. Sure enough. She takes a turn towards the wrong side and runs right into a car; scratching it all the way along with one of the mirrors from the scooter, crashing into pieces on the road, within a few seconds.

44. She picks up the broken glass and guiltily walks towards the driver's side of the car only to come face to face with her husband Arnavji.

45. I love how her guilty expression immediately changes into something more like she is about to admonish him for his 'mischiefs'.

46. And our Bitwa. Oh damn. Just look at his positively delicious face and that expression is something like 'Oh. Damn. Uss ullu ke patthe ne toh kahan tha ki isne sheher chor diya tha. Toh phir yeh yahan kya kar rahi hai. Ab tera kya hoga Arnav.' Lol. No. Its something like 'Shit. Shit. Shit. Arnav. Shit. You are a gone case now. No one can save you from falling for this beautiful girl.' Lol. No. You decide his inner thoughts from this expression. A homework for y'all. I will ask y'all in the next one.

47. But look at that face tho. *keeps staring at the screen* *doesn't realize that the screen is now flashing the precap* Shit. Shit. Shit. Sorry. I don't watch precaps but I couldn't stop myself from staring at his beautiful face.

P.S.: Ok. So. Howazit? Do tell. Ok. Then. Bye. Y'all. God bless you.

Previous Next

[heatwa-ves]

you should give me yuri manga recs ✨

sorry it took me so long to answer thisss in my defence a lot of the yuri ive been reading recently are ones that I can't in good conscience recommend lol.

will we live happily ever after? (one shot) the plot of this one is there's a princess who is going to be married off to a prince of another kingdom so she and her maid work together to stop the wedding

can I kiss you? (one shot) two girls are cast as the lead roles of the prince and princess in a school play and they both like eachother but have no idea their feelings are reciprocated. the art is GORGEOUS

less than friends this one is SO cute, the popular tough girl has a crush on the girl she sits next to but is really shy and awkward when it comes to romance. the art is so lovely

sukeban to tenkousei similar to the last one! a transfer student and a delinquent become friends, the transfer student wants the delinquent to read lists of cute words because she finds the gap moe really cute anddd idk. I like them. it's fun it's cute etc

my broken mariko mmm not necessarily yuri but like. It is to me. regardless of that tho it's one of the best written manga I've ever read and it's only 4 chapters. there's a live action film adaptation which I've yet to watch but it looks really good. MASSIVE tw for suicide and abuse on this one tho

even now we're adults huge warning for cheating the entire story revolves around it but it's some of the most realistic writing in manga the characters all feel like actual people and it's so compelling

sirius twin star and alter ego both by one of my favourite manga artists ana sanchez they are both incredible top tier yuri

obligatory rec of hello, melancholic! another of my favs ik I talk about it a lot but genuinely the side couple are like. one of my absolute fav ships of all time im obsessed with them. the main couple are. Fine.

anddd finally crossplay love. not exactly a yuri but it kind of is. it's like. yaoi yuri and I adore it so much it's so good

[iwonderwh0]

Hiii :) I've been wanting to get into more android or artificial intelligence related media lately, got any suggestions or faves? Movies, shows, books, anything really!

Heyy, sorry for late response, I was trying to think of maybe a bigger list, but huh, here we go

I'll start with the classic that although obvious is still among my most favourites

(Upd.) A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) – I'm updating this list to put this movie at the top.

Ghost in the Shell (1995) – among the absolute best of the genre. Doesn't place technology as something opposing humanity, but explores how it can become part of it.

Do androids dream of electric sheep (Philip K. Dick) – I recently reread the novel and yeah, I still love it. Also both blade runner movies (all three are completely different stories. First movie is nothing like a book (not worse or better, just completely different), second movie is nothing like the first. All three worth checking out (tho my favourite if Blade Runner 1984)

The Murderbot diaries (Martha Wells) – a series of books with probably the best example of how can a non-human character be written in a way that doesn't turn it into a story about "becoming human" or some other cliche. Network Effect is my favourite, I was literally screaming here in my posts as I was reading it because FINALLY it is a book where author properly utilises the fact that the main character is partially a computer. It processes multiple visual inputs at once, uses drones as the extension of himself and pings and hacks everything that moves.

Her (2013) – while I hear people talking about how some other movies/novels are the most realistic portrayal of our nearest future I get annoyed because in my opinion THIS is the closest one (among those I've seen anyway). It's practically reality. Even the job the main character has – I was thinking the other day that it seems like something that would be done by AI, but then I gave it another thought and now I actually consider it to be quite valid – a human protagonist doing a job supplying the demand for human sincerity while writing letters for people he doesn't actually know, but somehow it doesn't even matter as long as it's good work of fiction that just *feels* real, even if everyone on the receiving end knows it's not. Melancholic portrayal of this digital loneliness that doesn't read as a condescending story about some big scary AI that will destroy all humanity. No, scratch that. This movie is actually telling a story and doing it amazingly.

After Yang (2017) – it's a movie that should be watched alone, as it's not really good for collective watch. There's little action and some will probably call it boring, but oh man, I really really loved it. A family with adopted daughter has an android "sibling" whose role was to "connect" the little girl to her heritage (she's Chinese while her adoptive parents aren't). One day he shuts down. The rest I won't spoil. I must admit, after playing D:BH it weirds me out how some sci-fi has conscious AI that has no autonomy and somehow it coexists without conflict. One thing that I really liked about this movie that I NEVER saw mentioned anywhere else is how an android character struggles with identity not in a sense of whether he really is human, but whether he is really Chinese. Loved that.

Animatrix (2003) – it's animated take on Matrix that shows more context around the whole humans/machines resisters timeline that at the beginning is really similar to how it went in dbh. It consists of short parts, each animated in different style. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I didn't even know this movie existed and find it interesting enough to recommend.

Electric Dreams (1984) - I LOVE THIS MOVIE, it's one of my absolute favourites that I can't recommend enough. This is actually a romcom, not "serious" sci-fi, but to be honest I feel like even silly and goofy as it is this movie is far superior as a sci-fi than a whole bunch of "serious" ones that are just using AI for the sake of a blockbuster or some cliche story about humanity. Seriously, it was filmed in 80's and has so much fun with the concept, it ironically feels really ahead of time in how it portrays it. It was surprisingly accurate too, like there's a scene on how this computer learns to imitate sounds and it really does look like a process of how neural networks learn to imitate the input they receive. It's actually ridiculous how a romcom got more accurate depiction of artificial intelligence than most sci-fi movies.

EX Machina – I don't actually like this movie and find it incredibly boring and cliche for the 90% of its length, but the ending 10% makes it worth watching.

Android (1982) – I like it more than EX Machina but once again I mostly like it for the plot twist at the end than as a whole.

I probably haven't yet seen and read a lot of great movies in the genre so anyone can feel free to add to this list your favourites.

Actually, I'll add one more

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) – although it's not technically about an android character, I feel like this book is like the mother of the whole genre. Definitely worth checking out, even if only because of how significant it is in the pop culture and how often people reference it with some absolute horseshit takes that hints at how they've never actually read it. There's a great audio version on YouTube too.

[jorrated]

Some super stray thoughts I had while reading STCO so far:

Knuckles would NOT prioritize his past over Tikal’s suffering are you crazy in the head!!!!

Zak Simond-Hurn’s art is really charming, if it wasn't for the digital onomatopoeias, I wouldn’t mind having this style by a base for an official sonic comic! The design for the red echidna villain however… HM. Not pleasing to the eye.

I like that Ebony are having a bigger role on the fist few issues! But also Ebony’s constantly referring to Super as his friend and doing things to bring him back. Like I get it but also is this going to be her only trait now? Girl…

And porker is going on adventures again. Actually I don’t think they ever explained why Porker went back to being more adventurous in the og comic, participating in Chaos defeat and all. Not against it, and I like to see he still has a bit of bite and wasn't reduced to only a coward, tho it would’ve been cool to see at least a comment on how hes back on “adventuring”.

It’s cool to see Amy dealing with grief over Jhonny (I’ve given up trying to write his name correctly, too weird for me), but IDK. Amy probably was the best grounded character in that situation, so it feels weird to see her distressed over it? I don’t know how to explain it but in my eyes, Amy’s grief for Jhonny would definitively be more melancholic than scary/guilty. I’m glad they are trying to flesh out Amy more, but it doesn’t feel very cohesive with the comic to me. And Jhonny-zombie the killer… a bit tacky but in a funny way.

WHO…. Designed Vichama. I just want to talk. Tell me why you made him look that way. What is that. What went through your head. Dude. I get that Ebony has considerably more anthro body features than the other animal characters, but I feel like Vichama crosses the line into the “gross valley”. If he were drawn closer to how Zachary is I probably wouldn’t care, he probs would’ve looked like an Archie character. But the bulging muscles are kinda upsetting to look at. Cover up man.

So Shadow was created by some enemies of the echidnas. Noted.

Big and the Drakon prosecutor are actually really cute. I like them. Knuckles trying to break Ebony’s spell on Tikal is making me fume. HE WOULDN'T TRY TO DO THAT!!!!! He maybe would be a little desperate trying to trigger some memories but he wouldn't knowingly hurt someone to get information!!!! There is a pannel tho in this part of the comic that makes Knux ask “Where is Porker” and then “Where is the emeralds”. THAT is Knuckles to me, checking in on people before anything else.

Knuckles not being able to carry Big is bullshit. KNUCKLES PUNCHES ROCKS IN HALF LMAO. It’s fine I assume they need to be separated for a reason.

ROUGE STICK LEGS. Somebody please give my girl a double cheeseburger with extra fries and a big gulp of soda.

Actually I love that Rouge is a cunt here. Girlboss!!!! Stole this dudes emeralds AND left them to die, queen shit. Didn’t work but she did have the intent to kill them.

Big wouldn’t eat his friends….. He’d never eat Froggy, and DP (Drakon Prosecutor) even tho looks like a fish, Big considers a friend. BIG WOULDNT THINK ABOUT EATING HIS FRIENDS!!! HE IS A KIND BIG GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! ← most egregious mistake until now. Fucking funny tho can you imagine dying by vore They kept Mighty funny, that’s good.

MMMMN. I like that Sonic is consistently arachnophobic. Really nice continuity. How he first met Shadow tho… It felt underwhelming? Like yeah we know they were going to meet some time but IDK. The framing/pacing is weird to me. Either have them meet quickly at the start of the issue and Sonic is like “IDK WHO that guy is but I don’t like him!!!” or have them meet at the end of the issue, but only show Shadow in shadow (lol) to hook to the next issue. Shadow’s bland ass “I am Shadow” has the same energy as two kindergartners introducing themselves first day of school.

Shadow’s personality is interesting tho. I like him being a bit cocky but not too much, it’s a good take on him, plus he bounces off Sonic pretty well. I do wonder what the hell they’re going to do with him tho.

Awn… acknowledgment of some of the chaotix families… Blockhead Bill my dude

Tikal being given more of a spotlight is neat. It doesn’t give her much, but it’s refreshing to see her thoughts and intentions. However, I can’t help but think that she was mainly inserted to aid Knuckles and be a well of angst. Like IDK, Knuckles has moments mourning his past, or wondering if he will ever understand his ancestors, and Tikal well… She sees things rather than feel? If that makes sense? Like in this comic she is able to see a bit of the past and think “wow this is horrible! Must be a nightmare!” but she doesn’t feel despair? Or anything much? The only moment so far she felt despair was to make Knux Angst, like “ooooh shes suffering so we need to wipe her memories, that means Knuckles wont have his backstories :(“. Smells fishy.

Oh wow, Shadow has an actually interesting backstory here. It gives a reason to follow Robotnik, hate Sonic, not give a shit, aaaand its ambiguous enough you can probably pull off whatever. Fucking congrats STCO writers.

Fave image. What the fuck are they even doing here. Freaks.

Hm. No thoughts on Shadows maybe death. Thematically it’s interesting and all, but we don’t get enough time with him to give a shit. Unless I’m reading it wrong it seems like Shadow is sacrificing himself to save Robotnik, but IDK.

Grimer develops a situatioship depression.

2007 ANTI-ASIAN RACISM. BAD.

Bro what’s with this Knuckles characterization. He would NOT be mean to Tikal. If anything he’d probably be a bit overbearing, trying to give attention to her even if she didn’t want it. I get trying to tie him living his whole life alone being overwhelmed and feeling frustrated that Tikal can’t give him answers, but he wouldn't treat her like crap what is this. I like Porker’s and Knux bro moment, but that doesn’t make up for treating Tikal badly for no reason. Where’s her catharsis? She’s probably just as confused and desperate as Knuckles but she doesn't get any of these moments. Sigh. This idea could’ve definitely worked if Tikal was pushier or more imposing, but like she doesn’t do much, so Knuckles just snaps and it feels off. Knuckles’s stories are probably the issues with the biggest potential, but the writers for sure squander him the most, whomp whomp.

“One of Sonic’s fears is seeing Amy settle down with someone else” no it isn’t shut the fuck up. And the fact they put this on the same level of fear as Jhonny death is deranged.

The tonal whiplash between character comics is p funny honestly. You’ll have one really serious comic followed by a comedic one, lil bit of a mood killer. I guess STC also did this, but to me it at least wasn't jarring like this. Like how am I supposed to process Big getting shot, after Knux and Tikal experiencing the worst nightmare of their lives, living the trauma of seeing million of dead echidnas, after Vector put angel island as a security fund for his ship LMAO.

SONIC CHARACTERS HELPINH OUT THE POLICE SFAJHBJHBWRKJBJB??????!!!!!!!!????????????????????!!!!!!!!!????????11111111!!!!!!!111!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this actually.

These Shorty and Tekno comics…… I don’t know what it is about them but god. I just don’t like them! Firstly that now it seems they are a completely separated duo from the rest of the team. Like They don’t interact with Sonic or Amy or whatever. Secondly.. Shortfuse is TOO nice. It doesn’t feel like him where is his tantrums??? And this isn’t a diss on the artstyle itself, cause I think it looks pretty nice and cute, but I don’t think it’s really fitting for the characters? Tekno and Shorty look like they’re in a shoujo manga.

I really like how Sonic is now a loser LOL. He got canceled to hell and back.

Finally Rouge makes and appearance. Kinda only realized how little she showed up during the SA2 adaptation.

Grimer destroying Sonic’s reputation is actually kinda nice. I like that they acknowledge his Robotnik situationship depression, tho I think it’s a bit over the top have him be behind EVERYTHING. Still like it tho. Go gross boy go! (Also the art in this issue is REALLY solid, wow, Zak Simond-Hurn really is my favorite artist from the STCO group).

At some point I think I need to stop complaining about Knux’s characterization. But I Do Not Like How They Write My Boy. Doc Zach is still serving cunt so that’s great. Go grandpa go!

It’s kinda awesome to see how the issues expanded through STCO’s run, but I think having so many stories at the same time kinda makes stuff bloated. Like I’m sure I’ll forget some parts of this, even if they are short bits. Like do we really need to follow 2 sonic stories and 2 amy stories at the same time? I think it would’ve been better to pace this with a limit of 3-4 stories MAX per issue. And then once a character story is done, release the next story with the same character. Sonic and Knuckles are kinda always going to be there, having the biggest pull on the comic’s lore and story, so the other ones could cycle out between amy, tekno, shorty, tails, sonic’s world, chaotix, and so on. I haven’t read some of the other non-sonic stories like decap n attack, but those could be thrown in the cycle too!

Actually I love that DP is just hanging out in Big’s restaurant. It’s goofy I really love it.

I wonder how old Sonic’s gang is supposed to be here. Like in theory some years have passed in the comic, but how many. It’s not important at all but Amy is seen drinking wine with Chrysalis and it’s like?? Is she a kid?? Is she an adult?? Is she underage drinking? Again it’s not a big deal, and I don’t even think these characters need a specific age but IDK this was odd to me.

Oof the multiple stories at the same type problem came instantly. I like how Amy acknowledges the losses of the group, Sonic is “evil”, Jhonny is dead, Tekno is missing and stuff, Porker has PTSD and cant fight… But like. That feels so weird when you have a story right next to it with Amy and Tekno together!!! This is why the pacing and bloating feels whack, the comic has continuity with SOME of the stories but not all so its confusing. I know the OG comic had moments like these but because it had less stories per issue, it was way less noticeable, and usually were one-off stories I think.

And on the topic of Porker, I did mention before how he just kinda.. went back to being more adventurous? But know the comic insists that he can’t do it? Man this is kinda messy. I don’t mind Porker starting to become more adventurous again and then maybe regressing a bit in recovery, being too much for him, but it doesn’t feel like that is what it’s being intended here. It feels like someone read STC and maybe skimmed on STCO and then wrote this, so it feels out of place? Like you have porker in the first issue of STCO going on a mission no problems at all, but then on another issue he goes on a mission to blow up an eggman database or smth and hes freaking the fuck out being nervous all the time. Like which is it!!!!! I don’t mind him progressing and regressing on his trauma but at least acknowledge or be consistent with it! Is it because the underwater mission didn’t involve Robotnik? Is that it? Who knows.

I get that Knux and the crew planned to bait Zachary and shit, but like, then why did they act like that in the previous issue? Like the plan was to break the shield so why did Porker said to Knux be careful about it? Girl. This information is only given to bait and switch the audience and it doesn’t work. Porker and Knux have no reason to pretend to not have a plan when they are alone what.

Tails working with cops I’m going to kill myself.

Oh so like. The special zone is dead for real. Like for real FR. Jesus. Could’ve let the characters grieve a bit huh.

Really liked the #250 issue (Tho its funny that I complained about the number of stories per issue, and then #250 has ONE story LOL)! It’s awesome to see the different arts from the varied artists on the STCO team. And even with my complains and whining, it’s an impressive project full of love, good to see stuff like this!

TURBO TURBO TURBO MY BOY TURBO!!!!

The art on this issue is great but some of the flow of the dialogue is off, as in, sometimes I don’t know which speech bubble I’m supposed to read next, cause usually you go left to right, but it seems this story follows top to bottom for speech bubbles and left to right to panel. Not awful but it did throw me off, and it does fuck up the pacing.

um. hi shadow? ok.

(Only read until issue #250)

[doshmanziari]

Hi, everyone. I have a new article up on Substack looking at the Backrooms meme and some related media. It's entitled "Heavenly Purgatories: The Postmodern Labyrinth."

The images above are some of the photographs I took over the years when I lived in Boston and which, for me, convey a kind of atmosphere that I feel is vaguely adjacent to the subject matter.

Here are a few responses to the piece from elsewhere:

I think I like the comparison to purgatory. To me this kind of stuff has a deep appeal, since I often have dreams like this, and enjoy physical spaces with the feel of being haunted by absence. Something about finding beauty in bleakness maybe. But also it can be truly nightmarish and I associate it with the labyrinthine recesses of the Unconscious. The idea of a dreamy maze-like space which I associate with Chamber's The King in Yellow, some of Stephen King's work, and House of Leaves. A piece of Dream Country constructed from the bones of human artifice. I deeply enjoy melancholic feelings a lot of times when I'm having them tho, so this is probably why it resonates so much.

The assessment that it's like the inversion of feng shui is very accurate. An interesting piece of media that explores this thematically is Shadowrun: Hong Kong, in which an eldritch demon attempts to use a perversion of feng shui to break a hole in our reality.

have I pushed "Junkspace" on people here? it's a 1999 essay about architectural design - the author is very negative about a kind of open plan modular nonspace that was expanding then and is ubiquitous now - that I think Backrooms (mostly unintentionally) taps into. the essay has kind of a poetical expression, I think you'll like it. he has another essay out there, that I can't remember exactly but he says sort of "there's no Public Square any more, the symbols of 'Public Life' are things like trash and theft of construction materials and the smell of pee in the urban environment, because that's the remainder of human life that can't be made private and paywalled while more and more of the built environment is anonymized and dehumanized." I feel like the Backrooms Monster is a very similar sort of spectre. What lives in this environment where nothing can live??

[lee-sanghyeok]

What were your thoughts on the album track sampler? I’m mostly surprised that dangerous sounds so different than the other songs, I thought there might be another like it. I’m very intrigued by nice guy, the teaser sounds like a different vibe than I was expecting. Also skit stood out a lot but I don’t think that one’s a full song unfortunately. Of course can’t wait to hear the whole album tho, if all sounds v promising so far

Hi, anon! I was surprised as well with how diverse the album is sonically. It's their most experimental yet, though the slight disjointed feeling might be because the tracks in the sampler weren't in order of the track list... so I edited the sampler according to the track list.

And now, it does start to make sense. In a sense, 'Dangerous' and 'Gonna be a rock' almost feels like one continuous story (or a duology) of how quickly the mood can swing between adorably rebellious moments with friends and lonesome melancholic moments. 'Gonna be a rock' also seems to serve as a palate cleanser after the explosive opener.

Then there's a full break with 'SKIT', which seems to be a disco-inspired instrumental interlude. Possibly with the boys talking as well, but the music seems to take the lead. 'SKIT' allows for a full genre change as it bookends 'Gonna be a rock' and their title track 'Nice Guy'

'Nice Guy' still has that disco-funk influence (focus on the synths!) and seems to be an appropriate title track, though we'll have to wait until Sep 9th to really know if it lives up to that.

With 'Nice Guy' as the peak, they start bringing us down again with an introspective '20' ("When I was younger, I was foolish"). The sound feels the most in line with what we've come to expect of BOYNEXTDOOR.

And then finally, their sweetest most loveliest song to date, 'Call Me', which flows seamlessly from '20'. The snippet already brings a smile to my face. It's sort of a foil to 'Dear. My Darling', wherein the singer writes a letter saying goodbye and wanting closure. This time, the singer reaches out through a phone call to tell the listener to come closer, to speak to them whenever they need to.

Obviously, we'll have to listen to the full EP to have a complete opinion, but I'm really jazzed about this. It's charming and personable, which is everything I like about BOYNEXTDOOR.

[ewanmitchelll]

Imagine Taylor Swift’s songs (II): Bad Blood.

Imagine you were Aemond's good friend when politics turned you in enemies. What then?

Warnings: drama, angst, smut--fluff endings as always tho.

***

• Before the War

The beginnings are usually sweet, colored with a degree of naivety. These can be also the high of peace, but many forget that to keep it at all costs, should every single being be prepared for wars, regardless of positions. For wars and death walk hand in hand, seizing every life without considering rank nor gold.

As previously said, the start is always embellished with hopes, but shades of grey are already painting the walls of the Red Keep. Aemond Targaryen knows best than all that his presence is not desired by his melancholic mother or his phantom father.

He’s heading to the dragon’s cave, prompted for another ride at Vhagar when he tumbles onto you.

“Lady Y/N”, he whispers your name with a hint of surprise. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Shouldn’t you be at court?”

“No one would notice if I left for a moment”, you say with a sigh. “I went to the gardens to write some poems.”

Aemond is quickly distracted by your presence. You were once playmates as children, but even now as young adults the interests remain the same. For now, Vhagar occupies the second place.

“I remember how well you used to write”, he offers you a smile, pleased to see a faint shade of pink in your cheeks. “May I read a few? Perhaps we could go back to the tree?”

In reference to the spot you used to spend time as children, you agree at once. And there you two go.

“I don’t think I write well, my prince.”

“Aemond”, he cuts you gently. “You can call me by my name.”

Another exchange of smiles.

“Aemond, you flatter me more than I deserve.”

Once reaching the said tree, the prince takes hold of the parchment you hoped to keep to yourself, ignoring your protests. Eventually, though, you go silent, watching his reactions in agony. For he was always able to hold his emotions back, so you constantly found difficult to read him.

But alas! If only you could dive into his intimate thoughts! Then you’d find a rising delight in his chest because the rebel prince feels the same thing for you.

However you’d never know how he truly feels…. Because at this very moment you are discovered by Ser Criston Cole and your father.

You don’t know, but this is the last time you ought to see your cherished prince.

***

• Enmity.

So take a look at what you’ve done… ‘Cause baby now we got bad blood.

You are soon married to Lord H/N of the House Tully. Obliged to move to the Riverlands, you are unhappily tied to a very old man who’s been living with his mistress for decades. The marriage, apparently, is to force an alliance that—you are to discover soon—is meant to support Rhaenyra Targaryen. Therefore, by chance and by marriage, you are now associated to the Black party.

There are, however, some good advantages as you are left on your own. If you do your duties straight as mother to your stepchildren—who are older than you—, look well after your household and not meddle in your husband’s business, you can practice your archery, ride freely and even sharp your mind through accessing the library.

It’s not that bad in practice—your marriage hasn’t been consummated, mostly because Lord H/N is not very, eh, powerful in bed, a secret you vowed to keep—, but you feel lonely. Your friends are now a memory of your life at court and people at Riverlands could be very… strict somewhat.

What’s worse: where is Aemond? Why hasn’t he written to you?

Melancholy starts to crawl over your heart and mind despite the peaceful, almost boring life you lead. Until you perceive a dark shadow creeping over the clouds.

You’d think Lord Aemond came to rescue you, but your heart breaks when you see a dark haired lady on his back, waiting as he helps her leaving Vhagar carefully.

Your heart parts before the view. Why’d you assume he corresponded your feelings, stupid girl? You wish to vanish, a natural response in these circumstances, but you are discovering a little too late that these are trying times.

The gates of the castle are now open and you are forced to act on your husband’s behalf next to his son and heir. After all, duty is one of the mottos of your new house and you never failed to fulfill it so far.

When Aemond finds you, however, he freezes. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting to see you there.

My lady, you look horribly sad. Where has your freedom gone?

A thought he doesn’t bother to voice.

“Lord”, he greets your stepson cooly, and you in the same tone. “Lady.”

“Prince Aemond”, your husband’s elder child, H/N, doesn’t let you act as a bridge between the two parties. “We do not welcome you here.”

A shadow of displeasure crosses the prince’s face.

“By denying me thus you are proceeding with treason, Lord Tully. Is this how we ought to be?”, the silver haired Targaryen prince acts as if you are not there. Unlike him, though, you have never been good in disguising your sentiments. “You are not in position to support the Usurper. Harrenhal is mine.”

And he indicates Lady Alys Rivers as proof. You don’t like her arrogance, her looks nor the influence she exercises over him. Or perhaps all of your judgement comes from jealousy.

Regardless, you feel brutally betrayed.

“Bend your knee, otherwise you shall burn.”

You pale before the prince’s threat. It’s when a sudden courage—or perhaps a moment of recklessness—rises in your spirit. For your stepson might hesitate before Aemond’s treason, but you would not.

Therefore, you take a sword from the young man—who is older than you—and step towards the prince, himself taken aback by your behavior.

You were never the one to act so imprudently, my dear Y/N.

“What is this?”

“Where is duty?”, you yell at him, eyes puddled with tears as you raise the sword to him. “Where is sacrifice? For years you’ve been nothing but a spoilt man who followed freely what your own heart commanded you to! No burden to carry, you play with whores and take what’s not yours so carelessly?”

“Lady Y/N, I strongly recommend you to be reasonable”, says Aemond, cooly, but in his eyes there is shock. You are the last person he’d expect to find resistance.

“Reasonable? To whom? You threat my stability, my family, for what purpose, lord?!”

You press your sword against him, but he makes no move, skeptical about your intentions. Surely, you’d not harm him, not when he read your soul not so many moons ago.

But something eclipses the goodness in your heart. And though the world seems to spin slower, Aemond doesn’t let guards to interfere.

These beats of a dark heart, use basslines to replace you. Take time and erase you, love don't hear no more, no, I don't fear no more. Better yet, respect ain't quite sincere no more.

“Is this your choice?”, he frowns at you, a hand resting on his waist, ready to unsheathe the sword. “Do you opt for enmity?”

Is this what you’ve become? His eyes yell silently at yours, but you are blind to such accusation. And Aemond knows he’s the cause of it.

“Madame!”, lord H/N thinks wise to interfere. “It is unwise to opt for enmity!”

“He is our enemy now!”, you turn at the stupid boy. “He’s been waging wars, burning castles and fucking whores!”

Aemond doesn’t excuse himself from such offenses, but the same cannot be said of lady Alys.

“My lady, these are not manners of a woman who is expected to rule Riverrun”, she smirks. “But since you are putting your family at risk, perhaps a cage would do you good.”

“She doesn’t mean to”, the redhead male insists anxiously, taking from you the opportunity to defend yourself. “We’ll bend the knee, lord, if you spare us. I’m sure you’ll understand the advantages that comes from our loyalty.”

By now you feel double betrayed. Aemond, the man you loved, shows off his power over you and chooses a whore to accompany him everywhere. Lord H/N, the one son you judged reasonable, does anything he can in his father’s absence to retain some influence.

You are useless. And yet you are too proud to let tears show the path for defeat. Nonetheless, even that is better than to burn in flames. After all, you live to honor this family with the duty you’ve been taught.

Therefore you are silent. Aemond reads all that has not been said. Part of him chooses to amend what he judges to be misunderstandings, but his conscience knows precisely why you behaved the way you did.

A lioness’s pride when broken is worse than hearing a ghost’s haunting. So he thinks, taking in consideration your ties with the Lannisters, in spite of you belonging to a minor house.

***

• War

Now we got problems. And I don't think we can solve 'em. You made a really deep cut…

A cage is a cage even if it doesn’t look like one. To consider weaving revenge is useless. Despite the early disagreements with your husband in light of recent events, with now war openly declared between Aegon and his sister Rhaenyra, all you do now is focus in your womanly doings, which is looking after your new home, trying to amend relations with your stepson and so it goes.

Time begins to fly, albeit slowly. You haven’t produced any heir, but to your stepchildren your allegedly infertility is welcoming news. Ironically, this is when they start to improving relations with you.

Forgotten by your family, though, you seem forcibly content with yourself when news arrive that Lord Aemond desires to have a feast with the Tully’s. His unwanted arrival, especially regarding his royal status, means that you should dress beautifully and play the role to perfection.

“And if you point the sword once more, I’ll gladly remove your privileges”, so your husband warns you.

You agree. What else could you do? Like a creature in jail, you’ll be exhibited to enemies as if you are some sort of war prize.

Before the feast begins, though, Aemond needs a conversation with you first. He would not admit, naturally, that he’s been dreaming about you—and such dreams might reflect well his remorse in his behaving towards you. Yet, something should be done.

When you meet him in a private quarter destined to important guests, you are dressed in your best clothes. Your y/c hair is tied in a fashion braid, but your gown is red and reinforces your curves. Aemond’s eyes discreetly undress you, and the idea leaves the man to an almost bone he quickly controls.

“Lady Tully”, he begins the conversation softly, greeting you regally from his seat. He wears something to keep his lack of an eye in secret, dressing dark shade of green robes. His silver hair falls loose behind his back, giving the prince a royal look.

“Prince Aemond”, you echo his coldness, taking a seat once he indicates with a nod of his head. “I pray your journey has been safe and well.”

Aemond sees you well and part of him wishes to take you in his arms and tell you all that he never could. But this isn’t the time yet.

“Indeed I did, thank you.”

You ask the servants to fetch yourselves some wine and fruits.

“What’s the need to talk to me alone like this?”

Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes. You say sorry just for show. If you live like that, you live with ghosts.

Aemond studies you, not responding you immediately. He strokes his chin, playing with his fingers on table.

“I needed to see you.”

You scoff.

“Did you, now?”

“Yes.”

You don’t say a word. Atmosphere is heavy with tension. Aemond, sitting on the edge side of the table, watches you with his intent eyes.

“So much has happened since that day”, he begins to say. And it’s when he shows his sapphire eye. “I lost an eye, Y/N.”

For the very first time, you show some reaction.

“And because of it you sought war?”

It’s when he closes his fist and hits on the table. But you are not frightened by his temper, familiar with it.

“I did what I had to do! I was humiliated!”, and now staring into your eyes, he adds: “I thought you would understand that!”

“That is the difference between us, Aemond. Content never makes amends of broken things. It only worsens it”, you speak softly.

He shakes his head, skeptically.

“You speak like a fool.”

“You underestimate me”, you retort. “Like most men do.”

“I am not like most men”, he stares at you and now you are able to read his emotions.

“You should not, but by looking for battles you presented me with wars.”

Aemond sighs heavily, impatiently so. But he is not ready to give you up yet. This bad blood would have to cede.

***

• Winds of Spring.

You are riding by yourself early this morning. Dressed in red, you take this time to enjoy yourself. To have some peace. It’s when you spot him.

“Aemond”, you freeze before seeing him. Your heart races and your first instinct is to turn your horse and ride away.

But you dismount instead.

“Y/N”, he walks to you, distressed. “Run with me.”

“What?”, you pale before his suggestion. “What are you saying?”

“Fuck this war. Fuck them all”, he takes your hand with one all the whilst delivering you the old parchment. “I remember this.”

As you take it and open it, you read the poem about your prince of spring. Tears rise to your eyes and you stare at him in disbelief.

“You’ve kept this.” It’s not a question.

“I have, yes. I’ve never had the chance to say I love you too, my princess. But your father swept you away from my sight. I had no idea where you were… I was forced to follow my duty to my family”, he explains in a whisper.

You lean to cup his face with both hands.

“Oh my dear Aemond. But what about lady Alys?”

“She was just a trophy of my conquests”, he murmurs. “This isn’t about her. It’s about you.”

And without waiting further for your response, the silver haired prince takes you in his arms and presses his lips against yours. You don’t resist him, finally letting love blossom from hatred and frustration.

“I love you, my prince of spring.”

“I love you, my summer princess”, he smiles at you with the purest devotion. “Let us leave this life behind. This world is not for us.”

As much as you want to, you hesitate.

“I am still a married woman, Aemond”, you smile weakly, sadness evident in your eyes.

“Fuck them”, he pulls you against him. “They won’t dare to reclaim you anyway. My brother’s on the throne, therefore, we can rely there shall be no uprising against his authority. Less so against his brother’s.”

When you look into his eyes, you know you see someone so similar like you, a mirror of your soul.

“I came to release my lady from this golden cage”, the prince says, taking your hands and there kissing each. “Be my wife, lady. It’s all I ask for.”

You smile down at him.

“When have I ever refused you anything, my lord?”

And this is how it ends. A princess freed by her prince. You are finally able to be yourself.

***

• Epilogue

You cling onto your husband’s arms, ignoring the scandal you left behind, which had your name erased from the Tully’s records, but added to the Targaryen’s.

Politics aside, you are now Lady Targaryen by marriage, but what does it matter when he loves you so dearly, so intently every day?

Harrenhal is yours, but mostly important is his. As you watch him sleep, you prepare to wake him up with naughty intentions. As you begin to kiss his shoulder, you use one hand to caress his face, his neck, not stopping until you reach his manhood. Praising the Gods for his nude state, you do not need to slow down before you start to stimulating him, all the whilst your kisses go to his neck and more.

“Mm…” the prince groans, not entirely awake nor fast asleep. “My lady…”

You feel your own body react in response, but this is about him, you want him to come undone in the first moment of the day.

As your delicate fingers play with his now erected member, your lips move slowly downwards and now Aemond’s eyes are starting to open. And his eyes go wide when seeing what you are about to do.

“My lady, what have I turned you into?”

You give him a mischievous look.

“Good morrow, husband.”

And just like that you take him with your mouth. You still have in mind when, right after taking you as his wife, he enjoyed being your first man. How he touched you, making you discover every bit of a sensual pleasure you’ve only dared to know in books. You took such a linking in these domestic activities that the fire of dragon has you burning alive.

“Y/N!”, he groans louder, properly awake this time. “You are such a good lass. You learned so quickly. Oh!”

But as good as this is, Aemond does not intend to release his seed on your mouth, so hence why he throws blankets away and gently rises you, turning you under his strong body.

“No, lady. I have a better place to seed you”, he smirks at you, pleased to make you blush as he lifts your hands above your head and starts to kiss you fervently.

Aemond is well aware you like to submit to him easily, and he dominates you promptly. He finds his equal, and it shows in every part of this marriage. But in truth, as his body now tangles with yours, he knows that he’s been tamed by such a damsel.

Little wonder why is that in two weeks you are about to discover you have conceived. And a long list of children will be written by a surprised chronicler of King Aegon II’s reign.

[goodluckclove]

An Interview Series

Stop Two: A Private Room with @cssnder

When i thought to do this, Cassander Di Angelo was one of the first people I knew would make for good conversation. What resulted was something far more vulnerable on my end than I ever expected. She was kind, insightful, and intelligent as always, but I had to wait a few extra days before posting the log from this stop on my journey.

Join us as we discuss the nuance of identity in person, online, and on the page, and the reasons for why we do what we do.

If you want a closer look into Cassander's fascinating voice, I highly suggest signing up for her Substack. It's free, and you'll get direct access to her writing once it's developed! Now join us on this stop as we meet Cass somewhere quiet and secluded.

Now Playing: You Want it Darker by Leonard Cohen

It was a small, private, room of a quite picturesque sort. No bed, no television. There was a green sofa (one of those hideous things one could only find on sale the day following the death of an elderly, the kind you'd think smell of death but for whatever reason your girlfriend loves it), an antic wooden desk that stood grotesquely in the middle of the room, and an innumerable number of bookshelves. It wasn't much, and yet, the room seemed full.

The most interesting part was not so much the furnitures dressing the room but rather the few other details that were not of real interest when taken separately but created a striking picture when assembled together: the half-played game of solitaire spread on the floor, a selection of colourful ties hanging from the back of the sofa, papers all over the desk and piles of books everywhere but on the shelves.

The window was left open. And, in the morning fog, the sky turned into a pious white while the earthy smell of oak trees filled the cold November air. Melancholic, like a sad tune sang among magnolias.

where are we right now?

In a nameless town where no one knows me.

it's certainly a literary environment. i read through your entire blog so far while i was waiting to talk to you.

I used to be much more active on other platforms — Twitter, mainly. But as time went by, I learnt to love privacy and staying away from social medias. I think Tumblr is the platform I am the most active on, if that says anything about my relationship with the internet.

i have some mixed feelings on your content that i think would make for good conversation if you're open to it.

Sure, tell me.

so we've both been writing for a decade or longer. it's been fourteen years for me, and i think you said it was ten or more for you. would you say your practice up until now has also been very solitary? Yes, definitely.

i got the feeling. i can't cite the exact post, but i read something where you dove into your style of observational nuance, the aspects of strangers you take note of. And i immediately related, as someone who works the same way by instinct, but i found myself cringing. it felt like you were describing something deeply intimate about the creative process that you weren't supposed to put to paper. What I suppose i mean to say is that, after ten years of writing alone, how much do you still work to be understood by others? And to what extent?

Quite frankly, there are times where I feel like I don't really understand myself — maybe it's because I am only twenty-three, perhaps I haven't been human long enough yet to feel too sure on my feet. And I suppose, because of that, I do not expect anyone to understand me.

God, am I aware how it sounds so pessimistic but you know I do not mean it that way. I simply do not want to put unfair expectations on people simply because, in my mind, I was sure they, this person specifically, would understand me. If that makes sense? Plus, there are so many sides of us. I don't think we ever understand ourselves a hundred percent. So how could other people?

it's a strange juxtaposition to have that mindset and also be a writer and actor. someone might assume those are two mediums where the person is a vessel meant to relay an intent of some kind. to be comprehended, so to speak.

I think I do not necessarily want to be comprehended but rather offer something to other people — a minute of distraction, them feeling seen, or simply some inspiration. It's not to much about me but rather about them?

I remember something Margaret Atwood said in one videos. I saw it a long time ago so it's not verbatim, of course. But she said that once a book is out in the world, it's not yours anymore. No matter the message you put in it, everyone will interpret it as they want. Of course, it's better if they get what's written as you've written it. But you also have to accept that, most of the time, everyone will take what they want and leave the rest.

are you lonely? creating art as just an offering to the world sounds to me like the objective of someone who's either fulfilled in separate relationships or so lonely they've given up on escaping the feeling.

What other reason do people have to create art?

to be seen to some extent. to share a message that's important to them. to release something from within themselves. to process a color they're worried only they can see. or to just give a story to the world. no reason is better than the other.

I'm not lonely. But I do feel bored and stuck, though. Like I'm not living enough.

you do seem to cultivate some sort of Life Aesthetic from how you describe things. you know, black coffee and earl grey tea. classic music on a record player. violin and card games. russian literature, possibly in dog-eared paperback. the kids online would call it “dark academia”.

Yes, I love those and while I suppose what you say is true to a certain extent — I do love aesthetics as long as I make the rules for my own — I do not want to feel stuck in it. It would be hell, and it shouldn't be so serious. I love a variety of things — Nu metal, black leather, Barbie movies and animes like My Hero Academia.

it's odd how we only show certain parts of ourselves in different spaces. i don't think anyone reading your blog would peg you as a nu metal fan. i feel like i just uncovered a major scoop.

I supposed many of us feel like they need to have a more distinct aesthetic or some sort of brand. Even subconsciously so. I think, even if I didn't want to, there would always be different versions of me in my novels because I base everything on my feelings, me, places I've seen, people I've known. Oliver and his melancholy and need to live something, anything, is one version of me. If I were to write a book about a wanna be singer, it would also be a version of me, little me from the past who wanted to be a singer too. I think the version of me I put the most is my emotional self more than an aesthetic.

can you describe your emotional self?

Intense. Very often, I feel like my heart is too big for my body, you know. But it's also very important for me. If there's one thing that would make me more unhappy than to be overwhelmed by emotions, it's apathy. [Laughs] God, you must wonder what kind of weirdo you're interviewing.

no i'm actually quietly having an existential crisis in my discord server. this is very enlightening. is that something you think is present in the current novel you're developing?

Oh, definitely. I am really into stories fueled by the characters' emotional worlds. Oliver is a mess of self-doubts, of pressure to live something and feeling scared he'll never get to, of wanting to please at all costs. Wilhelm is apathy and the secret desire to let loose just to see what happens. It is safe to say I've always prioritized the emotional quality over the plots and events themselves.

i was supposed to have you introduce yourself. do you think you could maybe pitch your novel for new people?

My novel Thus Saith The Lord is set in Prague, in 1987. The story focused on a young student named Oliver, who's bored of his life and wishes for more in some sort of Bovary-way. He drops out and flees his monotonous home town in the countryside to move to a big city and finally live his life. Unfortunately, things do not turn out the way he hoped. Eventually, he ends up practically poor there and lonely and despises his new way of life. However, he goes on to befriend a guy who, with his connections, helps him integrate his Catholic school, thus pushing him to continue his studies. Once there, Oliver becomes morbidly fascinated by one of his classmates. What started out as a simple friendship quickly turns into obsession and desperation as the lines of morality become blurred.

As for me introducing myself: My name is Cassander, I am a twenty- three year old writer and aspiring actress from France.

assuming this draws a new audience to your blog and substack, what could they expect to see from you?

Anything in terms of medium — novels, poetry, short stories. Quite frankly, there's a melancholy feeling that permeates almost all my work. They can expect that already. As well as stories with immoral and horrible characters, intense emotions, terrible decisions, and existential themes. Do not expect anything tender or joyful, I've never been good for that sort of things.

and since you claimed you'd give yourself 10 years to write thus saith the lord, i feel like people are in for a pretty intense journey.

that's all i have to talk about. i could speak for much longer but i don't want to take up too much of your space. mind narrating my exit from this little room to close us out?

The teas had been drunk, and the conversation had died. Not an unpleasant silent, but rather the sort of satisfied ending, like after a good meal.

Clove got up. “That's all I have to talk about. I could speak for much longer but I don't want to take up too much of your space." They said.

A kind and polite ending to our conversation. Although it wasn't like I had plenty of people waiting at my door or a full schedule. I nodded, before walking them to the door. We exchanged our goodbyes, and as they walked away, I remembered these words by Shakespeare that I knew by heart:

“And whether we shall meet again I know not. Therefore our everlasting farewell take: For ever, and for ever, farewell, [trustees]! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then, this parting was well made.”

previous stop