#feeling some type of way and it's jamie's problem tonight

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

"Ah, ah, ah I wouldn't do that if I were you"

But I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Nobody wants you.

Ted and Ari’s words rattled through Jamie’s head like thunderclaps as he walked from the Crown and Anchor. 

He should have known it was too much to think that one pass would’ve been enough to show Ted he had changed. Apparently, Ted meant all that winning isn’t everything shit he tossed around last season or he would have known Jamie would help them end their series of draws. Or maybe it was just more mind games. Or maybe Jamie just wasn’t good enough. 

Good enough on the pitch.

Good enough as a teammate.

Good enough as a person. 

Maybe he didn’t deserve a team. 

Maybe he was useless.

Maybe his father was right. 

Jamie hastily wiped a tear away he felt fall from his eye and willed his eyes to stop stinging. Too soft to take rejection of his own creation. 

“What the fuck did you think you were doing running off like that? For an ickle tv show? You think they’re going to sit around and wait for you? You think they’ll keep your seat on the bench warm? Christ, Jamie, you only played because they already had the title sewn up. You know you had to work harder to make it, but instead, you fucked off to Ibiza or wherever the fuck you were. What a waste of what little talent you have.”

That was the first voicemail. He shouldn’t have listened to it. And it defintiely shouldn’t have listened to the second.

“You think you can last one week working like I do? Cause now that Manchester City kicked you to the curb, you’re gonna need a real fucking job. All you can do is kick a fucking football around, Jamie. Too dumb, too weak to do anything else. Pathetic, that.”

He didn’t listen to the other fifteen messages his father had left for him. There probably would’ve been more but the mailbox filled before his father got a chance. Jamie regretted not blocking his father’s number when he left for Lust Conquers All, but part of him wanted to hear how angry Jamie made him. 

He should probably block it now that he was back in England and his father wasn’t a safe distance away in another country. Now that he was kicked off Lust Conquers All too. Jamie couldn’t even fuck right apparently. His strategy gone up in flames after jacuzzi sex with Denise. 

Now, no other team wanted him. Not even relegated Richmond wanted him. They would rather stay in the Championship than let Jamie Tartt back into the changing room.

Jamie couldn’t blame Ted. He only makes things worse. His Mum’s life, Keeley’s, hell there was no one at Richmond that was better for having spent time with him. His Mum would be better off without having to worry for him, without him holding her like an anchor, forever connected to James Tartt. Keeley was successful and happy without him.

“Watch where you’re going.”

Jamie hadn’t noticed the pair of men he bumped into until he bounced off the solid form of one of them. 

“Yeah, sorry, mate,” he mumbled, without looking up. 

“Aren’t you Jamie Tartt?”

That got his attention and his head snapped up to scan their faces. 

“Nah, just look like him,” Jamie deferred and tried to step around him. 

“Nah, I’d know that fucking face anywhere.”

Jamie tried again to step around to no avail, one forcibly moved his body in Jamie’s path. 

“Ah, ah, ah I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Jamie was so fucking sick of these two, of this night, of this week, of this fucking year, of his fucking life. 

He was done with it all.

“What the fuck you gonna do about it, pretty boy?” the other said, shoving Jamie roughly with two hands.

Jamie should’ve taken the time to realise both of these men were bigger than him in height and pure body weight. He’d lost muscle mass and strength already during his time on Lust Conquers All; he was skinner than he had been in years. He should’ve taken the time to realise he could turn heel and run, and neither of these fucks could have caught up with him. 

But Jamie didn’t take the time to think about any of that. 

Jamie punched one of the men instead. 

He was quick, dum dum one stumbled back caught unawares by the attack, holding his bleeding nose between his fists. Jamie was fast, but the other man was faster. Dum dum two’s fist connected with the side of Jamie’s jaw before he had time to react. His head whiplashed to the side, and the man followed it up with a punch to Jamie’s ribs. Jamie reared back an elbow, connecting with a crunch to dum dum number two’s nose. Jamie grinned, even as pain shot through his jaw. 

Dum dum one though was just reorienting himself and swung out at Jamie, who ducked it easily. Jamie came back up swinging, connecting with number one’s mouth, Jamie’s ring stinging as it bit into his skin, but Jamie knew from experience it would inflict more damage on the person on the other end. Dum dum two though had recovered enough to lower his body weight and tackle Jamie, american football style. 

The move startled Jamie, and he hit the pavement with an oomph as the air was violently pulled from his lungs. He was still coughing when a fist connected with his face, forcing his head to bounce forcibly off the pavement. A rough kick to his ribs had Jamie trying to curl in on himself, but the weight of number two was enough to keep him firmly on his back. 

“Take his wallet,” Jamie heard vaguely through his ringing ears. 

His hands instinctually went to his pocket, and he fought for hold with dum dum two. Eventually, he was overpowered, his wrists held in vice-like grips of number two as the other pulled the wallet roughly from his jeans. 

“Fuck off,” Jamie said, spitting at the one holding him down. 

A kick to his ribs met his futile act of resistance. Two, still straddling him, wiped hastily at his face. 

“You’re gonna pay for that, prick.”

Jamie spit at him again, bucking his hips, trying to throw the man off him before dum dum one plated a boot painfully on his shoulder. “Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

And as the rest of the hits rained down on him, like a downpour on a hot summer day, Jamie had just enough time to think at least he wouldn’t have to explain this to a coach before he lost consciousness.

(Outnumbered in a fight)

[moonstruckme]

reader making a new friend (who is a male btw) and poly!marauders get jealous and snap at reader, for example saying, ‘go hang out with ____ ‘ and reader understands and reassures them that no such thing as reader leaving marauders would ever happen.

Thanks for requesting!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 860 words

"There you are, angel!" James gushes as you walk in the door. "We've been waiting, where've you been?"

You stop short, caught offguard by the onslaught of attention as three pairs of eyes pin you in front of the door. Your boyfriends are all sitting at the table, untouched bowls of pasta in front of them and one by your empty chair.

"Sorry," you say slowly, easing your bag off your shoulder and taking off your shoes. "I didn't realize you were waiting. Liam wanted to show me some new music he's found, so I stayed late." You hustle to your chair, and James begins shoveling pasta into his mouth eagerly.

"Oh, Liam asked you to stay," Sirius says drily, stabbing at his bowl with a fork. "Awesome."

You frown. Liam started at your work a couple of months ago, and the two of you had hit it off immediately. He was funny, you liked a lot of the same things, and everyone who you'd introduced him to adored him. Everyone, except your boyfriends. "He didn't ask me to stay, I offered because I wanted to hear it. And I didn't ask you to wait up for me, either."

James swallows. "We tried to call you, and texted you a bunch," he says, and the quiet of his voice is so unlike him that your anxiety instantly heightens.

You whip out your phone, seeing missed calls and texts from each of the boys taking up the entire screen. You'd forgotten to turn the sound back on after your shift.

"I'm sorry," you say, putting it away, and you mean it, but none of the boys really seems to want to look at you.

And as quickly as your shame rose to the surface, indignation comes in to replace it. This is so unlike them. Sirius will occaisionally make a teasing comment about you leaving them for one of your celebrity crushes, but none of your boyfriends are truly the jealous type. You're in a polyamorous relationship, for Merlin's sake. This sort of possessiveness has never been part of the deal.

"What's your problem with him?" You stare them down in turn, and only Sirius is bold enough to meet your heated gaze.

"You're with him when you should be with us!" He snaps. "Just look at tonight—James made dinner, and where were you? With him! So why are you even here now? Let's just cut the bullshit, and you can go hang out with Liam."

James had...James never cooks. That always falls to you or Remus, but tonight...you look at the pasta, which you've yet to take a bite of, and you're hit with a guilt that feels like nausea. It's your favorite. James cooked it for you.

"You have been seeing a lot of him lately," Remus says quietly, and his tone is more controlled than Sirius', but you see the protective hand he sets on James' knee under the table. "And you talk about him all the time. Do you really not see why our minds would go there?"

"I didn't...you guys are serious about this?" Your voice wavers, and that gets them all to look at you. You see the truth of it in their faces, sullen and embarrassed and tense, as if apprehensive of what you'll do next. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way, I—fuck, Jamie, can I give you a hug?"

"Course," he says softly, and rush to him, pressing your face into his dark curls.

"Thank you for dinner, love," you say, feeling like your heart is breaking. "I didn't mean to be late, and I should have remembered to turn my phone back on, I'm so sorry. This is so lovely of you." You turn so you can see the other boys, still cradling James' head in one hand. "Liam and I are just friends, I promise. I didn't know...I thought it was just teasing, the way you talked about him. I didn't mean to let you worry. And I'm sorry if I've been blowing you off lately."

"It hasn't been that often, dove." Remus is the first to warm, looking at you kindly. "Just, could you let us know if you're going to be very late?"

You feel like your chest has hollowed out at the realization of how this has been weighing on them. "Yeah, of course." You release James to return to your seat, leaning over to press a kiss to Sirius' head as you pass him, and he rolls his eyes with a reluctance you suspect is mostly feigned by now. "You really think I could find someone better than you three? You're out of your minds," you quip, taking some pasta onto your fork and inhaling the aroma of the sauce appreciatively. You think you see James sit up a bit straighter with pride. "As if there's anyone who could give me more than what I already have. Honestly, I'm at full capacity, love-wise."

Sirius snorts, finally eating some of his own pasta. "I know. This apartment is hardly large enough for the four of us, where would Liam sleep?"

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie fic idea: Instead of hate, what if when Jamie first comes to Richmond it is love at first sight between him and Roy. Like Jamie's always loved Roy since he was a kid and is starstruck at finally meeting his fav while Roy has to battle to keep up his gruff and grouchiness when all he wants to do is gawk at the gorgeous new striker who walked through the door and immediately looked at him like he's hung the fucking moon. How differently would things have played out if Roy took Jamie under his wing, Jamie stopped being so much of a prick because he wanted to be a good teammate and please Roy too, and then when Ted Lasso himself arrives, Jaime and the boys soak up his positive ethos quicker and start winning?

AWWW I LOVE THIS

(Also are you a mind reader I was literally thinking about this last night)

Roy knows he needs to stop looking at Jamie.

He hasn’t had a problem with keeping his eyes to himself for years. Why is this kid any different. But the way Jamie is practically bouncing in place with energy, his eyes, his ass. Roy normally hates when new players say they loved watching him growing up but Jamie? Jamie saying it made Roy feel special.

They are the only two in the locker room at the end of the day, Roy has been debating this for the last 15 minutes but fuck it. He taps Jamie’s shoulder, “wanna come over and eat? I’ll cook. Give you some advice.”

Jamie blinks at him for a second like he can’t believe Roy is real. “Uh yeah sure mate that would be incredible.”

Roy nods. He takes Jamie’s phone from his hand, he typed in his house number into Jamie’s map app. “Come over whenever, I’m going straight there.”

Jamie nods. “Yeah fab I’ll be there.”

—————

It’s been about six weeks of the them getting to know Lasso, Roy’s gotta say he’s impressed. Jamie works like magic under him, even dropped a bit of the prick attitude.

They still have dinner together almost every night. Roy every once and a while asks if Jamie has been on any dates. He selfishly hopes he hasn’t because that means he’ll be Roy’s more nights.

Jamie doesn’t really seem to date. Roy figures he’ll drop the fact he’s bisexual tonight just to see how Jamie reacts.

•

Jamie is sitting on Roy Kent’s kitchen counter. Fuck if 17 year old Jamie could see him now he’d be crying.

Okay lie.

He’d be asking to blow Roy under the dining room table they eat at some nights. But that doesn’t matter because Roy is straight and Jamie just needs to adjust his love for Roy to a more platonic intentions.

He’s swinging his legs when Roy drops the biggest bomb of all times. He’d asked Jamie if he’d dated recently. No. The answer is always no. Why date when he could be here with Roy. He returns the question to be kind, but prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that the answer is no.

“No no dates since a failed date with a guy two months ago.”

Jamie slams his foot into the cabinet. Shit.

“You’re gay??” Roy freezes. He spins and looks at Jamie, “no bisexual. Problem?”

Jamie can’t shake his head fast enough, “no god no I mean same, me too, I’m. Uh. Bi. First time I’ve actually said that out loud. To someone it actually could effect.”

Oh goddamn it Jamie you really fucked it. Your goddamn big mouth wouldn’t shut up.

Roy clicks off the stove, he sets down the whisk with such care that the whirl of emotions Jamie sees when he turns is shocking.

Roy steps over in between Jamie’s legs, shit.

He slowly places his hands on Jamie’s thighs, “tell me if I’m wrong but I think we both want to kiss each other.”

Jamie frantically nods, he reaches and holds Roy’s face.

They kiss.

Once Jamie needs to breathe again he pulls away, shit. He loves Roy. “Shit I might love you.”

Jamie goes bright red. Cool great fabulous this was nice. Time for him to go die of embarrassment.

“Think I might love you too Jamie.”

Scratch the dying he’s about to become a fucking God. “Seriously?” Roy kisses Jamie’s collarbone, “yeah. Guess love at first sight does happen.”

“Shit Roy you are literally never getting rid of me now.” Roy laughs, he leans in and kisses Jamie again. “Wouldn’t want to get rid of you anyways.”

(They move in together in two months) ((and are extremely but healthfully co dependent))

[matbarzyy]

Wasted Love (part 2) [T.S.]

A/N: Wow look at me post part two soon after I started the series! Now I need to hurry up and write the third part but that’s a tomorrow problem. Thank you to everyone who told me what they thought of the start of the series, it really means the world and I hope you’ll like this part too <3

Word count: 2445

Warnings: an abusive boyfriend

.

“Hello you,” Tyler grinned as he fist bumped her as a greeting. It was hard to do anything else over her desk, and it was now a habit between her and all the guys on the team. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s been good,” Alessia smiled back effortlessly, leaning back into her chair to rest her back for a minute. “How was practice?”

“Pretty fun, we’re all going out for dinner tonight with a few other people, if you want to join,” He threw it out there because it was a work thing and he had never seen her out with everyone before. Alessia only ever joined when everyone was getting lunch somewhere together. Most of the people she worked with were older than her, and predominantly men too. Tyler knew it might be hard for her to be included in plans.

“Oh, thanks, but um, I’ve got to be home with my boyfriend tonight,” She said it with a little sigh, and that prompted Tyler to poke a little bit further.

“Is everything okay at home?” He leaned against the wall with a slight frown. Ever since he had met Alessia he had felt protective of her. She was one of the youngest people working for the team, and she was slowly discovering the industry. He didn’t doubt that she had the skills to do amazing, or she would never have gotten hired, but he liked to keep an eye on her to make sure she was fine.

“We had a little fight, nothing to worry about,” She admitted with a shrug. “I had plans with friends and he got a little annoyed that I haven’t been spending enough time with him, and them my friends got pissed that I cancelled so… yeah, it’ll blow over in a day or two,”

“That sucks, I’m sorry,” He didn’t know what to tell her, she would clearly annoy either her friends or boyfriend no matter what she did now. “You guys been living together long?”

“Almost six months, yeah,” Alessia nodded. “It’s nice, plus rent is so much cheaper divided by two,” She chuckled and Tyler faked a little laugh too.

“Fair enough. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” He stopped himself from mentioning how fucked up that sounded.

Sure, regular people had to worry about money a little more than he did, but he was still sure mentioning saving money to describe how great it was to live with a boyfriend was messed up. He had expected her to say she was happy to see him more often, to come home to him every night, to wake up to him in the morning.

“Of course,” Alessia cut him off from his thoughts, and Tyler pushed himself off the wall.

“Good luck tonight, I hope things settle down at home,” He said it sincerely, but a little voice in the back of his mind nagged him. He didn’t hope things would settle down. He hoped she would break up with the guy that clearly wasn’t giving her the happiness she deserved.

“Thanks Ty,” She waved as he left, and he gave her one last smile before he was out of sight.

.

The fact that Jordan didn’t like it when she spent a night with her friends didn’t sit well with Tyler. It bothered him the first time she told him, but after a couple of weeks he noticed a pattern. Whenever Alessia had plans with a friend it had to be lunch, if it was at night the plans would either get cancelled or she’d show up in a bad mood the next day because she argued with her boyfriend.

Their relationship was obviously fucked up, and Tyler didn’t feel like sitting around and letting her be sad. Surely her boyfriend wouldn’t be able to say anything if she stayed out at night for a work event, so he invited her for drinks with the team and a few other people in admin and services that they got along with.

“Be careful Tyler,” Jamie shook his head disapprovingly as they got changed for their morning skate. “She’s taken,”

“I know that,” The other man grumbled. “We let everyone else we like come along, she’s cool, why wouldn’t I invite her?”

“Because you obviously like her, and she’s got a boyfriend,” Jamie was far from stupid and he knew his friend all too well.

“I’m not trying to make a move, the guy’s an asshole though,” Tyler laced up his skates, huffing as he pulled them on tightly.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” The bearded man used a teasing tone as he finished adjusting his own gear.

“I’m not,” Was he?

“Just don’t get into something messy, okay? She’s also just twenty two,” Jamie added. The whole scenario screamed recipe for disaster and he didn’t want to see what would go down if Tyler actually let himself fall for her.

“Way to make me feel old Jamie, thanks for that,” Tyler patted his friend’s shoulder and headed out of the locker room, ready to clear his mind on the ice for a while.

.

The bar was relatively quiet that night if you made an abstraction of the team of giants in green taking up most of the space. Alessia was sitting at the bar on one of the far ends, her hair falling in front of her face to hide herself.

“Is that apple juice?” Tyler slid into the seat next to hers with his own drink, lifting her curtain of hair and pushing it behind her shoulder.

“Yeah, work in the morning, remember?” She smiled, and he couldn’t help but notice how cute she was when the side of her eyes crinkled like that.

“I’ve got practice in the morning too, it’s one drink, won’t kill me,”

“I’m half your size with no muscles, my alcohol tolerance is low,” she chuckled when she saw the whiskey in his hand. One of those was enough to give her a headache. “Besides I’m driving, and I don’t want to see Jordan’s face if I come home after drinking at a work thing,”

“So what? He doesn’t like it when you hang out with your friends, he doesn’t like it when you drink, so you’re just not gonna do anything you want to do?” Tyler cocked his head to the side, pointing out everything he didn’t like about the guy while she shrugged.

“I don’t want to drink, and it’s not stupid of him to say, it’s Tuesday night. It’d be different on a weekend,” Alessia defended him and made it all sound like her own decision, but he was far from stupid.

“Fair enough,” Tyler cleared his throat to move on to something a bit more cheerful. Just hearing the name Jordan got on his nerves and he wanted the night to be fun. “Hey look! Jamie needs someone on his team,” He pointed over to the three men around the pool table. “Do you know how to play?”

“Absolutely not,” she curled further into her seat and a wide grin spread over Tyler’s face.

“Time to learn then!” He put a hand on her arm and gently tugged her up after him.

The guys were generally competitive, but considering that it was her first game they used it to teach her rather than try to win. Jamie and her took turns with Tyler coaching her from the side and showing her how to place her hands or telling her what angle she’d need to hit the ball at.

“Here,” He chuckled, standing close behind Alessia and gently grasping her wrist to adjust her.

He ignored the warning look he received from Jamie and went on with his instructions before stepping back, letting her do the rest on her own.

“Dude, you call her Allie?” Jamie groaned when Alessia was gone. “I’ve seen you like this before and you’re so fucked. You can’t have her,”

“It’s not like that!” He tried to defend himself but his friend didn’t buy it. “Fine, maybe I like her, but we’re just friends. I’m not doing anything,”

“Just don’t be stupid, okay?” The older man warned him again but he dismissed it as he had done every other time.

“It’s a nickname Jamie, not a proposal.”

.

The more Alessia went out for drinks at the end of the night the more she got along with the guys on the team. She didn’t talk to all of them, but Tyler, Jamie and their closer friends were now also her friends. It was refreshing to have a group of people close to her outside of home, and she loved to spend her evenings with them before she came home.

The lack of time she spent home translated into hurtful comments and reactions from Jordan almost daily. It was exhausting, but Tyler was always there to lift her mood in the morning so she found it all worth it. She blamed it on Jordan’s job being stressful at the moment, and on most nights they made up rather quickly with a little bit of effort on her part.

“I’ve just got a couple of emails to reply to,” Alessia opened her laptop on thursday night and Jordan huffed.

“Well maybe you wouldn’t need to do that at night if you weren’t always out with those people having drinks.” He stood in front of her across the table, arms crossed over his chest.

“I never even drink,” She defended herself, typing her reply while trying to ignore Jordan’s grumbles in the background. “It’s good for my career if I have contacts,”

“Enjoy your career then, just go take care of that and forget I exist,” he walked around to stand next to her and Alessia turned to him.

“Jordan I’m not-” she started but got cut off immediately.

“Are you sleeping with one of them? Uh? Is that how you’re building your career? Fucking some rich asshole behind my back?” His voice rose and her eyes widened.

“Of course not!” She insisted, flinching when he yelled.

“I’m always here taking care of you!” He stomped forward and Alessia felt her hands shake. “And yet you’re never here when I come home!”

“I’m sorry, Jordan, please,” she said quietly, trying her best to calm him down.

Jordan only shook his head at her, turning on his heels with her trailing close behind. She wanted to fix things, the emails could wait until morning. He didn’t seem to be in the same mindset as he got to the bedroom and turned around with a glare.

“You can stay out here until you’ve sorted out your priorities.” He slammed the bedroom door, missing her face by a few inches and turning the lock.

Alessia remained still behind it, in shock for a full minute.

Knowing he wouldn’t calm down too fast, she went back to her work and quickly did everything she needed to catch up on. She hoped he had settled down as she walked over to the bedroom with a yawn and tried for the door. It was still locked, so she knocked on it softly.

No answer came from the other side. She could hear him moving in bed, but he didn’t even care enough to get up.

Alessia held back her tears and went back to the couch, eyeing the laundry drying on the rack in a corner of the living room. At least she should still be able to throw a decent work outfit together in the morning. The same couldn’t be said for pajamas, there were no casual clothes drying and Jordan didn’t like it when she wore his stuff.

It was too cold to sleep without clothes on, especially with a small throw blanket rather than the comfy thick duvet that she normally had in bed. So, Alessia found herself with her legs bare and a slightly scratchy sweater on her upper body to stay warm as she curled up on the couch.

.

When she made it to the office in the morning she felt like crying. She had barely slept, she was exhausted both mentally and physically and she was already dreading the night ahead of her.

“What do you need?” She nearly growled when Tyler strolled into her office without a knock.

“Uh, never mind,” he swallowed and took a small step back.

“Okay?” Alessia looked up from her screen with an eyebrow raised, waiting on his next move. Did he need her or was he just standing there for no reason?

“I don’t really want to make you work right now, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look like shit,” Tyler unfroze a few seconds later and pulled a chair out to sit across from her.

“Thanks Ty,” A dry chuckle fell from her lips, and she rubbed her hands over her face. “I’m kinda sleep deprived,”

“What happened?” He stopped himself from reaching over to move her hair away from her face.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Alessia sighed. “Jordan and I were arguing over something dumb, I spent the night on the couch and it’s ridiculously uncomfortable,”

“It’s not dumb if you didn’t even want to go back to bed,” Tyler gently pryed a little further.

“More like he didn’t want me in there,” she rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair and fiddling with a pencil. She was staring at her hands rather than at him because she could already guess what he was about to say.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Tyler said it slowly so that he could think over his words. “But you’re my friend, and your relationship sounds really fucked up,”

“I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds, besides it’s just one night,” Alessia argued weakly, she always tried to defend him, she always had an excuse.

“You’re old enough to make your own decisions,” He shrugged. Tyler was good at hiding how furious he was, it wasn’t directed towards her so she didn’t need to see it. “But it he was mad enough to refuse to sleep next to you, he should have been the one taking the couch,”

“He’s not a bad person,” Alessia looked up then, but her words weren’t convincing.

“You know him better than I do, I guess,” Tyler let out a long sigh. He didn’t know what else to say to her, and he was afraid that pushing her would stop her from confiding in him in the future. “Call me if that happens again, okay? I live fifteen minutes away, I’ve got three empty guest rooms, and I’m sure they’re more comfortable than your couch.”

.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought!

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

Previous

AO3

Another Sunday, another chapter. Hope it’s a good weekend for you all, despite these uncertain times. I always intended this story to be a bit of fluffy light relief from the real world. Thanks for all the support for it.

There will probably be another 3 chapters after this, depending on how the characters behave. I cant seem to make them do what I want sometimes!

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

Chapter 11: From Marriage to Mackenzie

It’s 1pm and I’m in a hotel room, still in a bathrobe, sipping Buck’s Fizz whilst a hairdresser wrestles with my wayward curls, finally managing to corral them into some sort of recognisable hair style.

Geillis is sitting on the edge of the bed incongruously dressed in tiara and bathrobe, her hair arranged in an elaborate updo. I catch her eye through the dressing table mirror and smile before my vision is obscured by a miasma of hairspray.

A few final tweaks of my curls and it’s done. I am just amazed that my hair can be cajoled into such glossy, bouncy curls, held behind one ear by an ornately decorated comb. With suitable compliments and thanks, Geillis and I bid goodbye to the hairdresser.

The bride stands up and adjusts the belt of her robe. She seems the epitome of calm.

“Are you not nervous, Geillis? You’ll be walking down the aisle in about an hour’s time.”

“Weel, I am a wee bit worried about a couple of things,” she admits. “I dinna ken how ma cousin Janie will behave. She may try tae proposition every man under the age of seventy five. And as fer Dougal’s Uncle Eric—he has been known tae get steamin’ drunk and puke in the rose beds. But about the marrying? Nah, I dinna have any nerves about that. I want tae spend ma life wi’ Dougal and that’s what today is all about. I have nae worries about making that commitment. He’s the one fer me. When ye ken, ye ken. Trust me, Claire.”

The pocket of her bathrobe begins to buzz. She quickly pulls out her phone and reads the message.

“I’d best go. That was Mam, fretting about something or other. Are ye ok getting dressed on yer own?”

“I’ve managed for the past twenty nine years or so. I dare say I can manage another day.” I sigh theatrically.

“I ken. Ye can manage on yer own. Ye always do. But thanks fer being here with me today. It means a lot tae have the people who mean the most tae me around,” she leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “But remember what I said, Claire, when ye ken, ye ken. Dinna ignore it.”

Pausing at the interconnecting doorway, she does a quick body shimmy and grins. “Woo hoo! I’m getting married. Canna believe it’s here now,”

From the adjoining room, I can hear a shouted response. “Geillis Duncan, ye get here now. Yer mam reckons that makeup lassie has done her eyeliner wonky. It looks fine tae me. Can ye come and talk some sense in tae the daft cow?”

“Alright, Da, I’m coming.” Geillis yells back before leaving to deal with her parents.

I sit down and study my bridesmaid’s dress, now hanging on the wardrobe door. I’m getting excited about the day ahead. Probably not as much as Geillis, obviously, but a host of butterflies appears to have taken residence in the pit of my stomach.

I’m truly thrilled for Geillis to be marrying Dougal—they love each other so much. But, also, it’s scary to me. She is willing, eager even, to commit to one person, to base her future life, her future happiness on one man. If they should ever leave…well, I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with that. If you love too hard, you can hurt too much. Trust me on that, I know. People leave you. Don’t give your heart to anyone, keep it hidden away, protected…intact.

The ping from my phone diverts me from this somber train of thought.

I’m downstairs at the hotel. Can you come and say hello?

I quickly type:

Come up to the 2nd floor. I’ll meet you by the lift.

Making sure the keycard is in my pocket, I slip my feet into the hotel’s complimentary slippers and shuffle out to meet Jamie.

I’m already waiting as the lift door opens and he emerges. My first thought is oh wow, as is my second...and third. He has made an effort for this wedding, and it’s certainly paid off. Eschewing the more formal Prince Charlie style, he’s wearing a charcoal grey jacket and waistcoat, perfectly matching the grey in his kilt. A crisp white shirt and burgundy tie complement the secondary colours in the tartan. His sporran is black leather, heavily etched or embossed. I can’t quite make out the detail. Then I feel myself blush as I realise I have been clearly staring at his...er, lower body. I look up quickly.

Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to have noticed. He looks me up and down and smiles. “Nice outfit,” he comments drily. “Is the bride wearing white towelling too? What’s the theme? Salon chic?”And is that part of the design?” He points to an orange stain on the front of my robe. I pull a face and tie the belt tighter, trying to tuck the offending piece of material out of sight.

“Must have spilled a drop of my Buck’s Fizz.”

“Drinking already? Dinna be staggering down the aisle.”

He reaches out towards my hair and pauses for a second before making a random circular motion with his hand. “And this…I like yer hair. It’s verra…verra…” he searches for the word. “... asymmetric.”

“Thank you,” I hold the ‘skirt’ of my robe and bob a little curtsy. “That’s totally what we were going for—asymmetric.”

He laughs. “Nah, seriously. Yer hair and yer makeup look grand. I’m sure ye’ll look lovely in yer dress.”

I gesture to my room. “I’d best finish getting ready.”

“Aye, I’ll see ye downstairs.” He presses the button for the lift.

“By the way, you look grand too.” I try to say it in an understated way. It’s true, but I don’t want him to read anything into the statement.

The lift arrives and he steps inside. As the doors close, he fires a parting shot. “Especially the sporran, eh?”

*********

Now in my bridesmaid’s dress, I practice a couple of pirouettes in front of the mirror before hearing a quick knock on the door to the adjoining room.

“Ye ready, Claire? Mam’s jes’ gone down. Only us three left.”

I walk through to the other room to be met by a riot of open suitcases, bags and boxes. A variety of towels, dressing gowns and footwear seem to be carpeting the floor.

“‘S ok,” Geillis’ voice comes from behind me. “It’s no’ ma problem. I’m no’ sleeping here tonight. I’ll be in the bridal suite. This’ll be Mam and Dad’s room.”

I turn to see my best friend now fully dressed and ready. Her father is hovering next to her, clad in kilt and full formal regalia. I always knew she would win that battle.

As beautiful as she looks, the thing that really strikes me is the way her father is watching her, with such love and pride. She returns his gaze and brings her forehead to rest against his cheek.

I swallow hard, fighting the desire to shed a tear. It’s such a precious image, so intimate, but also, I realise that, since Lamb died, I have nobody, no father figure, to share something like this. I feel a momentary pang of, not jealousy, but a feeling of regret over an emotion that I will never get to experience.

And then, just like that, the moment passes.

It always does.

Geillis passes me a creamy white posy tied with a simple ribbon and gathers up her bouquet of peonies, roses and fragrant eucalyptus.

“OK,” she takes a deep breath and breaks into a huge grin. “I think I’m late enough tae get Dougal jes’ a wee bit nervous. Time tae roll.”

*******

The hotel’s orangery provides a perfect setting for the wedding ceremony. Softly diffused sunlight filters through the white muslin drapes at the large windows. A slight breeze wafts the fabric gently, giving tantalising glimpses of the formal gardens outside.

At the end of the room, Dougal and Angus stand beside a large arch of succulent green foliage, staring straight ahead as Geillis and her father begin the procession down the aisle with me following.

Even before he turns to look, I can spot Jamie — his auburn curls are head and shoulders above those around him. He stays still at first, but as we draw near he turns around and grins before doing his funny blink, screwing up his face and closing both eyes, which I have learnt, is Jamie’s attempt at a wink. I return his smile before focussing on the arch getting ever closer.

Dougal appears rooted to the spot, but Angus turns around and watches for a moment before giving me a perfectly executed wink. I smile politely even as I shudder inwardly. The sheer self confidence of that man is beyond belief. Then he disappears from my thoughts as Geillis reaches the arch and passes me her bouquet to hold. The joy on her and Dougal’s faces as they prepare to make their vows is wonderful and I’m so happy to be a part of it all.

***************

They say the sun shines on the righteous. Well, Geillis and Dougal must be exceptionally good, as it’s a perfect summer afternoon. It’s beautifully warm, but not too hot, as all the guests mingle in the gardens, admiring the beautiful surroundings whilst drinking chilled champagne.

The photographer has finished with the formal photographs, so I’m allowed to relax and enjoy a glass or two. I can still spot him wandering around, ready to take more natural, candid shots of the proceedings but nobody seems to mind.

I was initially worried about inviting Jamie to the wedding for a couple of reasons. The first was my friends. Of course, my friends are great, but Anna and Mary can sometimes have an issue with boundaries and I had visions of the ‘conversations’ they might try to have with Jamie — ‘nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition’ unless Anna and Mary are around.

The second reason was that Jamie would literally know only one person at this wedding —me. And that, when I was off doing official ‘wedding stuff’, he would be on his own, billy-no-mates. But, as I look around, I realise I had absolutely nothing to worry about on that score. He has the knack, it seems, to get on with everyone.

At the moment he’s talking to Geillis’s father, laughing and joking like they’re old friends. He notices me looking at him, lifts his empty glass up and points to me. I hold my glass up and nod. He excuses himself and strolls towards the bar.

There’s a slight touch on my elbow. “Hello, dear.”

I draw my attention to the old lady standing next to me—Geillis’ great aunt Frances. I’ve met her on a couple of occasions before and have always enjoyed her company. She’s a straight talker and makes no bones about it. “When ye get tae my age,” I remember her commenting to me “ye dinna have time tae beat about the bush, ye need tae say what ye think.” I like that in a person.

“Hello, how nice to see you.”

“Ye too,dear. I must say ye’re looking awfa bonnie in that dress. It’s a fine colour on ye.”

“Thank you. And you’re looking lovely yourself.”

Frances makes a self deprecating ‘hmph’ sound, dismissing my compliment with a wave of her hand. “Away wi’ ye. Ye do yer best wi’ what ye’ve still got. Which isna much in ma case.”

I shake my head. “Not at—“

But she decides to change the subject and moves on with her next question. “Is that yer young man over there?” She points at Jamie, heading towards us with two glasses of champagne. “He’s a handsome chap, is he no’? Mind ye, that’s no more than ye deserve. Sae, mebbe ye’ll be next?”

“No, we—“

I have no chance to say anything more, before Jamie is by my side and handing me one of the glasses. I take a sip as he notices that Frances has no drink and, without hesitation, he passes the second glass to her.

“Aren’t ye kind… er?” She accepts gratefully.

“Jamie.”

“Weel, Jamie, let me tell ye. It’s been a long while since a good looking young man has brought me a drink. I should make the most of it. Anyway, I was jes’ saying tae our Claire here, how bonnie she looks today. Does she no’?”

She fixes her gaze on Jamie, demanding an answer.

“Aye, she looks lovely.” His eyes meet mine for a second, before I look away and try to change the subject.

“Don’t you think Geillis looks beautiful, Frances?”

But, it seems that Frances has one line of conversation that she is keen to pursue. “Oh aye, she does. But, Jamie, I was jes’ saying tae Claire that mebbe she’ll be next. What d’ye think?”

Fortunately, I’m spared any response as a gong sounds and the maître d’ announces that dinner is served and that everyone should make their way inside to the dining room.

****************

Having narrowly avoided any embarrassment, I am somewhat apprehensive to see Frances at our table. Fortunately, Geillis’ cousin and baby are enough to divert her attention away from any matrimonial prospects that may or may not be on my horizon.

With Jamie sitting by my side, I catch him up on all the behind the scenes activity of my day and we fall into our pattern of easy conversation and gentle banter. From time to time, I can see Frances, opposite, watching us with a look of approval on her face, but she says nothing.

Once the speeches and toasts are over, there’s a palpable change in the guests. Jackets are draped over chair backs, sleeves rolled up and waistcoat buttons undone. I can spot more than one woman moving awkwardly in her chair, struggling to locate the shoes that were eased off out of sight under the table. Cheeks become flushed with an abundance of rich food and tongues become looser with a surfeit of fine wine.

I sip my whisky, savouring its peaty smokiness. Jamie is in a serious rugby related conversation with his neighbour. A rustle of fabric behind me announces the arrival of the bride, a look of frustration on her face.

She greets the table politely before whispering “Can I borrow ye, Claire?”

I make my excuses and follow her into a quieter room.

“What’s up, Geillis? Is everything alright?” I’m concerned that there’s something genuinely wrong.

“It’s his bloody family,” she hisses. “The Mackenzies, if ye give them an inch, they’ll take a fuckin’ mile.”

She takes a deep breath and continues. “Dougal invited his second cousin Gary and his wife tae our evening do. Jes’ the two of them mind. Sae they turn up an hour and a half early and try tae cadge dessert and brandies from the waiters.”

“Where are they now?”

“Och, they’re sitting outside wi’ a couple of spare bottles of wine.” She gestures angrily to the gardens visible through the window. “And they’ll be first in the queue fer the buffet this evening, nae doubt. And what's more, they took it upon themselves tae bring their three bairns too. Weel, I say bairns, but they’re all in their twenties so it’s no’ as if they dinna have a babysitter.”

She finally sits down and lets her shoulders relax.

I take her hand and try to look serious. If this is the worst thing that happens today, that’s not so bad. Although clearly, in Geillis’ eyes, this is a catastrophe. “It’s not going to spoil anything really is it? They didn’t gatecrash the meal or the speeches,” I speak in a soothing tone. “Are you ok now?”

She nods. “Happen ye’re right. I jes’ wanted tae get it off ma chest. And I kent what I was getting in tae wi’ his family. But tae drag Gregory, Alicia and Laoghaire uninvited wi’ them jes’ pisses me off.”

I stare at her. “Laoghaire? Laoghaire Mackenzie?”

“Aye, that’s right. Unusual name, is it no’? Ye dinna find many of them around—thank god.”

[bad-bitch-beauchamp]

Songs About Me - Chapter Two

Chapter two is up!!! I started writing this all last night, and didn’t want to leave that chapter handing! I have the outline for this story all done and I’m actually pretty psyched about how it’s lining up. I want to take a minute to thank you all for all the kinds words and support yesterday, you’re the best and know how to make a girl feel welcome! Without further ado... Chapter two!

Read on AO3

Later that night, Beacon Hill, Boston, 21st Amendment Pub

“Claire! Over here!” Geillis was sitting at a high top table and stood up on the crossbar of the barstool to wave her over. As she stood up tall with an arm waving over her head, Claire noticed the two men sitting with her glance at her exposed midriff. One oggled her openly, while one looked appreciatively, and smiled down into his beer glass as he took a long drink. This must be Angus and Rupert, then. Claire smiled and wound through the crowd to the table. 

“Awright lads, this is my best girl Claire!” Geillis had clearly been here before her eight o’clock sharp deadline, judging by the way her Scots accent had thickened up. 

“Nice to meet you boys! Let me grab a drink and we can get to know each other!” Claire wove her way to the bar, ordered a few fingers of Laphroig whisky, and made her way back to the table. The 21st Amendment was the perfect watering hole for locals looking to enjoy a few bar snacks, and a lot of drinks. It had started to become a staple for their end-of-week blow offs between her and Geillis after a long week at the greenhouse. When he wasn’t stuck at the hospital, Joe often came out to join them, and tonight he had arrived in her absence and took her under his shoulder.

“I need to see you more than once a week! And now you’ve made it so I can only see you if I come to a karaoke bar?! What kind of joke is this, LJ?” 

“Blame our favorite redhead for this ingenious evening!” Claire jerked her head in Geillis direction. They laughed and hugged each other tight, and began to settle in for the evening. 

Aided by more than a few drinks, the four soon became fast friends. Claire came back from the bar for the third time to see Joe clearly entranced by the three Scots and their innate ability to make any story the best you’ve ever heard. 

“So there I am in bed, Chrissie on my left and Nettie, the butcher’s daughter, on the right. They get jealous of each other, start arguin’ about who I’m gonna swive first. Can ye believe it?” Rupert laughed through his oncoming hiccups; whether they was the result of the raucous laughter or the many pints of ale was anyone’s guess. 

“And then what happened, man?!” Joe leaned forward over the table toward Angus, and Angus leaned in towards Joe, slapping his hands on the table. Rupert opened his mouth to respond but before he could get out a single word, Claire quipped in. 

“I believe your left hand gets jealous of your right. That’s about all I believe!” 

For as loud as the pub had become, the little table surrounded with friends fell into an uncertain silence. Claire wondered if she could fit her other foot in her mouth, in addition to the one that was already there. Then… uproarious laughter. 

“I’ve… I’ve never heard a woman make a joke like that before!” Ruper was cackling now. “Christ, woman! Yer somethin’ else!” Angus was doubled over clutching his side, Joe choked on his drink, and Geillis was practically dissolving into laughter. Another voice, a different voice, came floating to her ear from behind on a warm whisper. 

“Yer a witty one, aye?” 

Claire spun around in her barstool, which was admittedly a mistake. Maybe one too many whiskeys, Beauchamp. She started to slide off the side backless chair when two hands steadied her by the waist. Once she -- and the room -- stopped spinning and came into focus, all she could see was ocean blue eyes. If her eyes were the color of her favorite burning whisky, his were the color of a cooling chaser. 

“Ye alright, lass?” The stranger smirked. She realized she was still holding on to his shoulders, and still staring into his eyes. She felt the muscles under his white v-neck shirt. His very tight shirt, she amended. His hair sparkled with all the same colors as the dark red trees lining the old brick streets outside -- shades of russet and gold, dark auburn and cinnabar. High cheekbones gave way to slanted eyes above and a jawline to cut her glass tumbler below.  Pull yourself together. He’s just a man, and one you don’t even know! 

“Oh, yeah, thanks, I’m fine, thank you,” she stammered as she climbed back on her chair, his hands never wavering from her hips. Why did she sound so formal? “I mean, I’m great!” She flashed him a big smile and then a thumbs-up. What the fuck is your problem?! Maybe find a middle ground? She sighed on a giggle as her eyes fell to the floor and looked up at him with crinkling eyes. “I’m -- ugh. Hi there, I’m Claire.” His smirk grew, his eyebrow rose. “Thanks for making sure I didn’t die just then,” she added hastily. He was watching her when she dared to glance up from under her lashes. 

The stranger waited until she was settled back on the barstool and went to extend his hand for a handshake, only to find his hands were otherwise occupied. He left them where they were, and settled in a little deeper. 

“Och, it’d be a right shame to lose ye to a swivelin’ stool and a dirty pub floor.” The smirk turned into an honest smile. “I’m James. Ye can call me Jamie, if ye like.” He glanced at his hands, one still on her hip and the other traveling up to her waist. Claire felt his thumb stroke her sides and glanced down to watch him unravel her with his touch. Who the hell was this guy? Ordinarily, she’d be offended by some guy holding onto her in a bar, but right now, she found herself hoping this one didn’t let go. She was still watching him trace his small circle on her waist when the hand on her hip reluctantly pulled away, while the one on her waist didn’t move at all. She glanced up to see a pink bloom appear in the tips of his ears and the triangle of chest visible through the dip in his shirt. It was her turn to smirk.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Sassenach. Got a wee bit distracted.” He shoved his free hand in the pockets of his worn jeans. 

“Sassenach--?” Suddenly she was cut off, by a loud voice behind them. 

“Jamie! Ye made it!” Jamie’s large hand pulled away from Claire’s side with a jolt and the absence made her shiver. Rupert and Angus were already making the introductions to their small table. The hellos and drink orders began and conversation between the group began again. Her head was dizzy, but not from the alcohol. She glanced up to see him eyeing her from over the top of his rocks glass, and her stomach flipped. Pull yourself together. Concentrating on the situation, she gathered that Jamie worked with Angus and Rupert at a small shop in the area, but missed the kind of work they did. 

With the addition of Jamie at their table, Geillis suggested they move to one of the booths lining the bar walls. The men blazed a trail forward through the crowd to secure seats, and Claire held Geillis back by the elbow. 

“I thought you said you only invited Rupert and Angus out tonight?” “I did! They asked if they could invite the third member o’ their party, and who am I to say no! Why, is something wrong?” 

Evidently no one else had seen her near fall, and Jamie’s rescue of her. “No, it’s fine, I just didn’t realize we’d have such a big group is all.” Geillis started to ask her another question but Claire nudged her friend forward. “Come on, they won’t hold seats for us forever!” 

Claire was the last to get to the table. Her step faltered for only a moment -- when the only open spot was next to Jamie. 

“I can move, if ye’d be more comfortable --”

“Do you mind if I sit here --?”

They spoke over each other quickly, and simply nodded in answer to each other’s questions. Jamie move down the bench as much as he could with Angus animatedly telling a story on the other side, and Claire filled in the vacant spot on the open end of the booth. It should have been awkward, being strangers forced into tight quarters… but she could’ve sworn he relaxed into side. 

Not a minute into settling down, the DJ at the front of the bar announced, “Next up we Claire, Geillis, and Joe!” 

Momentarily forgetting why they came here, the three friends jumped up from their seats and headed to the makeshift stage with two spotlights, a few microphones, and a small television screen. The men left at the booth watched them with confusion and excitement as they made their way up to the front, and ready for the show from their newfound friends. 

Claire, Geillis, and Joe each took a microphone and began to sing -- if one could really call it that. By the end of Like A Prayer, they were yelling the lyrics, howling with laughter, falling over each other with every repetition of “Just like a prayer, you know I’ll take you there!” The pub clapped and cheered, as a drunk bar on karaoke night often does, and the three friends made their way back to the booth still trying to get enough air back in their lungs after the ceaseless laughter. 

“I didna know ye could sing!” Rupert hugged Geillis into his side and Angus leaned over the tabletop to playfully punch Joe in the shoulder. 

“I think he means that we didna know ye were the type who can’t sing, but still goes to karaoke anyway!” Angus winked at Geillis, and she couldn’t seem to get her giggles under control. 

“Hey now! Joe and I might not be stars or anything, but at least we’re fun -- unlike ye three, who haven’t gone up once!” Taking a gulp from her pint glass, she narrowed in on Claire. “Besides, we sound okay because someone can actually sing when she wants.” The table’s attention immediately moved to Claire with a bombardment of questions. 

“Ye can sing, lass?!”

“Go on, get up there and sing for me! Make it a bonny one!”

“Are ye a pop singer or a rock singer? I’ll have a different opinion of ye depending on the answer, ken?”

Then, another warm whisper. A hand on her knee.  

“Ye don’t strike me as a singer, Sasssenach.” 

Claire turned to face him then, her voice equally quiet when his eyes met hers. “And what do I strike you as?”

“A lass who struggles with her balance, for one,” he replied, “and who’s bad with awkward introductions and saying thank you, for two.” His eyes never left hers, but the crinkles on the edges only deepened with his smirk. Claire scoffed and protested, moving her leg away from his under the table, but his grasp tightened imperceptibly and his thumb was stroking the inside of her knee. “Maybe one day I won’t have to save ye from falling, and I’ll get to hear ye sing a little better than what I just saw.” Taking a swig from his glass, he continued to watch her. Claire started to object to his ideas of her, but Jamie’s attention was called away by Joe asking questions about his work. 

An hour passed by with many more drinks and much more laughter, with plans to meet up again next week. Joe left the party first to get back to his apartment to prepare for work the next day, followed by Rupert who claimed he needed to be up early to go into the shop. Soon it was just Angus and Geillis, who were most definitely going home together, and Claire and Jamie, who were most definitely not. 

“So what is it you actually do? I’ve been sitting next to you for a few hours now without a single notion of who you are besides your name.” They were sitting facing each other as best they could, trading stories and getting to know one another while Geillis and Angus got almost too close for decency. 

“Och, it’s no’ much. I opened a little bookstore in the area a few years back, and Angus and Rupert are my employees. More than that, I suppose, since I’ve known them my whole life. The bookstore was more a passion project a few years back, ken? Then one day, I decided I loved it more than engineering and left it all behind to give my all to the books.” Jamie’s eyes sparkled with mention of the bookstore, and Claire wanted to see him look like that forever. 

“What kind of stock do you have?” 

Jamie’s eyes positively twinkled. “Lots of antiques and first editions. I learned how to repair and restore old books when I was in college in Edinburgh. We carry the Times best seller list and lots of newer titles as well, but there’s nothing I love like an old book.” He smiled at her, and she melted. “Actually, there’s a favorite of mine--”

“Claire, get on up here!” The voice from the front boomed again, and she sent Jamie a wink as she scooted out of the booth. He stared at her dumbstruck, but released his hold on her leg. 

“Since you said my last song was horrible,” she teased over her shoulder as she walked to the front. 

He gave a hearty laugh and yelled to her, “I never said it was horrible! I said it wasn’t good!”

Claire had been coming to this pub for years now with Geillis and Joe for drinks and karaoke night. She was on a first-name basis with the regular DJs, and everyone knew her regular songs. Tonight was different. Tonight, she had met Jamie. She whispered to the DJ, walked on stage, and pulled out the piano bench. In the time it had taken Claire to move up front, Jamie followed suit just behind her to a table at the front. He had noticed the piano of course, but paid it no attention. Who would play a piano in a pub on karaoke night?

Claire would, evidently. She sat down, rolled her head a few times along her shoulders, and looked toward their booth. Jamie saw her fear when he wasn’t where she thought he’d be. He gave her a small wave, hoping the motion would draw her attention. She noticed, and flashed him the most brilliant smile he’d ever seen. She took a deep breath, and without playing, began to sing. 

“Grab me by my ankles, I’ve been flying for too long; I couldn’t hide from the thunder in a sky full of song. I want you so badly but you could be anyone; I couldn't hide from the thunder in a sky full of song. Hold me down, I’m so tired now; Aim your arrow at the sky. Take me down, I’m too tired now, leave me where I lie.”

The accompaniment was simple and melodic, Claire’s voice strong and dark. Jamie watched her play, the lyrics not lost on him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything but watch her. His chin rested on his hand, his elbow propped on the table. In that moment, he wished the night would never end but if it had to, then may he have many more with the enchanting woman before him. 

Jamie didn’t realize she had stopped playing until the crowd began to cheer -- the only thing to exist for him, was her. She stood, pushed in the bench, and put the microphone stand back where it belonged like she had just done the most normal thing in the world. She walked toward him, slowing the closer she got to him. 

“Jamie, you haven’t moved once.” One step closer. “Well, you’d bloody well say something.” She folded her hands across her chest with a sigh, eyes downcast at the sticky floor. 

He blinked, stood, and brought a hand up to brush away a particularly unruly curl. A thumb caressed rosy apples, dark eyelids fluttered up to meet glittering oceans. 

“Christ, Claire. Yer the most incredible woman I’ve ever seen.”

[myhockeyworld87]

My Protector - Jamie Benn

Word Count: 1,143

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Language, mention of drugging someone

It’d seemed like you’d been friends with Jamie forever. Well at least since he’d moved to Dallas. When he was in town, you two were always together. He was always there for you whenever you needed him, just as you were there for him. But having Jamie around also had its downside.

 “Really Jame? I actually liked that one.”

 “Please he was trash and you know it.” He insisted after he’d scared off the poor guy you’d only gone on two dates with. “If he was really worth it, there’d be no way in hell he’d let me scare him away.”

 He had a point, but you certainly weren't going to be the one to tell him that. “How am I supposed to find that out though if you come off all protective of me, all the time.”

 “Fine, I’ll back off if that’s what you want.”

 “It is.” After your little tiff with Jamie, he went radio silent for a week. He could be brooding menace at times, but he always came around, and you knew that he was only doing it because he cared about you. 

 This is why a week later you were on the phone, making it up to him by cooking dinner, to be followed up with some movie, you’d let him pick out. Your friendship picked back up easily after that, you going to his home games and cheering him on. It was how you’d found yourself out at the bar with a few of Jamie’s teammates and significant others.

 The place was crowded, and you headed out on the dance floor with a few of the girls. You were having a great time when Alandra leaned over to tell you something. “Don’t look now, but I think that guy over there is checking you out.” She nodded in a direction behind you and carefully you waited, before turning to see who she meant. He was hot, there was no doubt about that, but in the frat-boy kind of way. Clean cut, hair a bit too long but perfect at the same time. He wasn’t not your type, but you couldn’t say he was either. 

 “He's cute.” You told her and went back to dancing. It was several minutes later that you found yourself at the bar, ordering another drink when he came up to you.

 “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” He offered.

 Who were you to pass up free alcohol? “Thanks, that’d be nice.”

 “I’m Kyle.” You were actually surprised it wasn’t Brad, but Kyle was just another typical frat boy name as well. 

 “(Y/N),” you told him as you extended your hand in greeting.

 “I haven’t seen you here before. Do you come here often?”

 You chuckled and he looked a bit offended. “Sorry, but are you really going to use that line?”

 He gave a small laugh then. “Yeah, I guess it was kind of lame. You’re just…well really gorgeous and it was the first thing to come to my mind.” You blushed a little then, sweeping a loose strand of hair back to cover a bit. The bartender brought your drinks then, but neither of you touched them as Kyle paid for them. “So my friends are over there,” he pointed but it was so crowded you really couldn’t see a group of people. “No, no. Over there.” He turned you around then so that your back was to him. His left hand pointing out over the crowd as you looked around. It took you a minute or so to find who he meant. Only really catching a glimpse before being turned back around by Kyle. “Care to go over and meet them? I’d love to chat with you more.”

 You really couldn’t see the harm in spending a few minutes with them. Even if he was your typical frat boy, he still seemed like someone it wouldn’t hurt to get to know. Who knows where things could lead. “Sure, why not.” 

 He handed you your drink, then clink his glass with yours. “To getting to know one another.” You took a sip and went to put the drink back down, but Kyle took your hand to try to get you to drink more.

 “Don’t you dare touch her!” The words were all but growled out of Jamie’s throat, as he grabbed Kyle and pressed him up against the bar.

 “Jamie, what are you doing?”

 “This little fucker just put something in your drink.” You gasped and looked down at the liquid, barely able to see a few particles floating around. Thankfully you'd only taken a small sip. The bartender came over then. 

 “Is there a problem here?”

 “Yeah, you need to call the cops, as this guy was attempting to drug my friend.” The realization of what was happening hit you then. The bartender called over a bouncer and Kyle was taken to the backroom to wait for the police to show up. “Are you ok?” Jamie asked, running his hands down your arms. You collapsed into him feeling so relieved that he just saved you from what you were sure would be the most horrible night of your life. 

 It was a couple minutes before you were able to pull out of the embrace to thank him. “Oh my god, Jame, I don’t know how to thank you. I’m so glad you saw what he did and stopped him.”

 “I’d never let anyone hurt you, (Y/N).” His hands cupped your cheeks then and there was such sincerity in his words but there was also something more there in his eyes. It stole your breath away. 

 “Jamie…I…” there was so much you wanted to say but you simply didn’t know how; luckily Jamie said it for you.

 “Damnit (Y/N), I love you. I have for some time. It’s why I’m always scaring all those other guys away from you. But tonight…” he blew out a breath. “Fuck, if something were to happen to you I’d die. I just…”

 “I know Jamie…and I love you too.”

 He looked taken back at your words. “You do?”

 “Yes. I have for a while. I just…well I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but tonight if you hadn’t had been here…” You trailed off but then quickly followed up. “But you’re always there, aren’t you? Always protecting me, keeping me safe. I love you for that Jamie. I love you for scaring everyone else away because the only person I want to be with is you.” He finally kissed you then, right there in the middle of the bar with god only knew how many people watching, and it was the most magical moment in your entire life.

 When you finally parted, he bent his forehead down to yours before whispering. “I love you too (Y/N) and I’m always going to keep you safe.”

[funkymeihem-fiction]

College AU! Meihem please!

They met up after classes at the little overgrown area between the gym supply sheds, off to the side of the bleachers. Jamie could smell him before he could even see him, a sickly sweet smell in the air and a faint yellow cloud that wafted away into the breeze, coming from the absolutely immense shadowed figure that was sucking a vapor device and leaning against the cement block wall.

“What flavor ya got?” Jamie demanded, not bothering with any sort of greeting. “Gimme some.”

“Go get your own,” Mako replied, exhaling more smoke.

“No wonder you like pigs so much. You’re about as greedy as one,” Jamie snapped, though without much menace. He joined his friend, skulking against the wall and shoving his hands in both pockets. For a long time there silence, before Jamie’s twitching finally got the better of him and he turned with a snarl. “Okay, fine! Ya got me! Yeah, I’m a little out of sorts, I got a problem.”

“Hm.”

“So there’s this...girl...”

Mako sighed, and Jamie shot him another venomous glare.

“Yeah! Her name’s Mei. Chinese transfer student, sits two down from me in Engineering, she’s Advanced Placement and whatnot. And she’s all...ya know? Real goody-goody, prim n’ proper, a bit prissy, kinda snitty too. I mean, she eats salads at lunch, and that’s on barbecue day. Not my type of girl at all.”

“Hm.”

“Exactly! But I still wanna...I dunno. I wanna. Is that crazy? I just really, really wanna. So I kinda...I uh, I may or may not have paid Olivia to hack the randomizer and put us together as a pair for the group project.” Jamie lifted a finger to his lips, biting off a hangnail and spitting it into the grass. “So, sorry mate, gonna need you to fuck off from the dorm this eve just in case I invite her over."

“...Don’t.”

“Wot?”

“Don’t let her see your side of the room.”

Mako frowned and blew more smoke into the air, before finally holding out the dregs of his pen. Jamison snatched it up like lightning, inhaling off it without a moment’s hesitation, and chewing on it despite Mako’s warning grumble.

Jamie ignored him. “What’s wrong with the room? You’re not still mad about stepping on those metal shavings, are you? I cleaned up the blood! And uh, guess maybe my sheets are a bit crunchy. And the old pizza boxes... Okay, could stand a little mucking out, points there. Which is prob’ly gonna take some hours. It’s fine! I can make it work! Maybe get some of those scented candles. Girls like her like candles, don’t they? How about a salad scented candle? Oi, you still got that smooth jazz playlist from when y--?”

A much softer, smaller voice sounded from the other side of the shed. 

“Hello?”

“Aw fuck!” Jamie’s eyes bugged as he recognized it, and he inhaled the wrong way and promptly dissolved into a storm of hacking and coughing, exhaling yellow-colored smoke in all directions and nearly falling over. “F-fuck me! Mei!”

“Excuse me?” A much smaller figure in a skirt and university-printed top peeked around the corner, adjusting her glasses shyly. “Um, sorry? I was looking for you.”

Jamie looked up sharply, managing a shaky smile and squinting through watery eyes. His heart thudded much faster and louder, and he wasn’t sure if it was the lack of oxygen or her words. “Ya...ya were lookin’ for--?”

Mei looked right past him to the giant figure lounging in the shadows behind him, shyly twirling a lock of hair around one finger. “Mako Rutledge, the lacrosse team’s star player? They call you Roadhog, right?”

The man in question nodded. “Yeah.”

Jamie glanced between the two, looking like he’d just been shot through the chest.

“Zarya told me all about you! She wanted me to tell you that the team’s meeting on the field a little earlier today. And good luck with the big game. Um, go Razorbacks! Yay!”  Mei said, beaming. Her happy expression faltered, then flattened altogether when she finally seemed to take notice of the still-gasping Jamison, smile turning to frown as she spied the vape still in his hand. “And I am very sorry, but you should not be back here doing that! I could smell it from far away, and what if Coach Morrison catches you? That’s very irresponsible. You could get your friend in big trouble.”

Jamie stared at her, then down at the pen, blinking stupidly.

Mako paused in thought, then looked down at him after a beat, voice flat. “Yeah. Don’t get me in trouble.”

“Wha-! Fff--Ah- I mean, y-- Ffbt-” He sputtered, spittle flying as he started trying to shove the vape pen back into the hand of his roommate, who stalwartly refused to take it. “No! No no no, it ain’t mine! I only- Fuck! God damnit, Roadie, I’ll go ya! I would never--”

“Uhuhuhuh,” Mako rumbled his low chuckle, easily keeping him at bay.

With both hands still firmly on her hips, Mei watched the two fight with disapproval still twisted into her lips, until one brow rose slowly. “Wait a minute... Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t even recognize you at first. You’re in my class. You’re... Fawkes, right?”

Jamie froze where he was still locked in mortal combat with his roommate, Mako’s thick arm clamped around his throat. “Uh? Uh, yeah! Jamison Fawkes. Jamie! Call me Jamie! Call me anything!”

“You’re my project partner?” She said, glancing him up and down. “Well, I guess this will be...interesting? Although I’m still not sure about your automatic gatling-style potato gun from that last project? But your mechanical work with those gear designs was amazing!”

He could feel himself grinning again, despite the forearm lodged against his trachea, his voice a gurgle. “Th-thanks, darl!”

“We should get started right away. Maybe I could come over--”

“Can’t.” Mako released Jamie suddenly, leaving him to flop over into the grass. “Need the room tonight. Gotta work.”

For the third time that afternoon, Jamie started choking. He sprang upright, eyes blazing yellow with the fury of a thousand suns, fingers curled into claws and looking ready to launch back onto his erstwhile best mate. But Mei only paused and looked thoughtful, tapping a finger to her chin before smiling again.

“Oh, all right. Then, why don’t you come over to my room instead? I’ve got plenty of supplies and I’ll clear some space for us. I’ll message you my dorm number and a time, okay? I’d better head back. And no more smoking!” She gave them both a little wave, then turned and started trotting back towards the field. “See you later!”

He could feel himself already going gooey in the chest, which he hoped wasn’t from the coughing fits earlier. “Yeah! Yeah! S-see you later, Mei!”

Mako leaned down to pick up his pen, tucking it away. He snorted, looking to Jamie’s lovestruck expression, and prodded him hard in the back. The younger boy stumbled, then seemed to remember the reasons for their battle earlier, his gaze darkening.

“What the fock was that, mate?! Ya coulda done that differently!”

“You’re welcome.”

Jamie promptly turned and socked him straight in the ribs, and the two started fighting again.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Flashbacks & Forewarnings

A JSE Fanfic

There are a lot of different scenes in this one, but don’t worry, it’s not too long. About medium length for my fics, I’d say. First of all, we get a peek into one of JJ’s memories. Then we check in on Dr. Laurens and Schneep, see how they’re doing since it’s been a while. And there’s some minor other stuff as well. I know it seems like it’s a day late, but that’s because I’m moving my fic-posting day to Monday. Hope you guys like this one!

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

Midafternoon sunlight was streaming through the window. Jameson leaned over to look out the window, glancing downward at the street a few stories below. Then he took his watch out of his pocket and checked the time. Almost four o’clock already? It was almost time to leave. JJ began tidying up, starting the process of going home and getting things ready for the next person to man the desk.

“Hmm? Oh, are you leaving, Mr. Jackson?” Claire, the intern, noticed his cleaning up. 

JJ nodded. He paused for a moment, grabbing his notebook and pen from the surface of the desk nearby. Do you know who’s on the next shift?

Claire paused for a moment to read the question; though she was trying to learn BSL, she wasn’t able to hold a conversation yet. “Uhh...I think it’s Mr. Haddock,” she said.

That was what he suspected. Do you think you can handle things until he arrives? JJ asked. He didn’t want to put too much pressure on Claire—she was only sixteen, after all.

“Yeah, no problem,” she said. “Uhh...I just have to monitor the phone, right?”

JJ nodded again. Accepting phone calls was the highest priority part of the job, and also the only thing he couldn’t do. Sending emails, making sure things were filed correctly, getting things from the supply room, all that was alright. But not the phone, for obvious reasons. Luckily, answering phone calls usually fell to the interns. Don’t be afraid to ask Mr. Patterson for help. It should only be ten minutes or so until Timothy arrives, but just to be sure.

“Thanks, Mr. Jackson. Oh! Uh, wait.” Claire made a simple gesture. Thank you.

JJ smiled encouragingly. You’re picking that up quick!

“Really?” Claire brightened up. “Thanks!” She repeated the sign.

JJ stood up, gathering his stuff. I’ll see you tomorrow, he signed, edging around the desk and heading towards the elevator.

“See you.”

Now heading on his way down, Jameson checked his bag, pulling out his phone. Huh...it seemed he had quite a few texts from Chase. He scrolled through the notifications, ending up at the first one, which read: Hey J, remember that thing the detectives called me about ths morning? About Jackie? The second one read: Did you get my last text? The third one read: JJ i really have to talk to you about this. Should i call Marv first? And so on with increasing urgency.

Reading through the messages, Jameson could feel his pulse rising, tense. He’d almost forgotten about the events of that morning. A long day at work was bound to do that. The question had always sort of been lingering in his mind, though. They’d found some sort of break in Jackie’s case. That had to be a good thing, right? A pessimistic part of him pointed out that a “break in the case” didn’t always mean they’d found the missing person. Sometimes it meant they’d found the missing person’s body—

Jameson stepped out of the elevator, forcibly leaving that thought behind. It wasn’t the case this time. It couldn’t be. Even though he hadn’t known Jackie as long as Chase or Marvin had, he still knew him. And he knew he wasn’t the type to go down easily. Quickly, he opened up his texts and started replying to Chase. Sorry I didn’t see any of this, I was at work :( Just got off the lift now. What happened?

Chase didn’t respond for a minute or so, long enough for JJ to walk out of the building and into the crisp October air. But his reply came soon. Oh I forgot about that! Im so sorry.

No no, it’s not your fault. But do tell what happened. What did the detectives say?

The little typing bubble stayed up for a long time. JJ had arrived at the close-by bus stop by the time Chase finally said what he was planning. Uh...actually, can i call you about this? I know you cant answer, and you can say no, i just think itll be easier to say instead of type.

That...wasn’t a good sign. Sure? Jameson typed slowly. I can whistle or something if you need a response.

Immediately, his phone started ringing. JJ almost instinctively declined the call, but caught himself just in time and picked it up. Chase’s voice came through easily from the other side. “JJ? You there, bro?” JJ whistled a yes. “Okay good. Okay. Uhh...this is weird, not being able to see you. But anyway. The thing this morning. The good news is that Schneep’s first doctor showed up! So now he’s gonna have one that doesn’t hate him.” Chase laughed, a bit nervously. “But, uh, I dunno if she’ll go back right away. Because, uh...that’s the bad news. She disappeared because she got kidnapped. By the same person who kidnapped Jackie. And kidnapped Schneep before that. And...” Chase sighed. “You were right. The person who did that is this Anti.” He paused. “Are...are you still there?”

Jameson took a moment to react. And when he did, he hung up. So...it was him.

God, what were the odds? What were the goddamn odds that the two of them would end up in the same place once again?! True, this city wasn’t too far away from the town they lived in before. But he’d always thought Aneirin was the type to stay in a town like that.

Well, at least he didn’t know Jameson was here...

——————

Jameson set down his book, checking the clock. It was a little past eight at night. Naturally, his eyes drifted over to the calendar afterwards. It was a month behind, still reading June 2007.

The front door slammed open downstairs. JJ jumped, then slid a bookmark into the pages of his novel and stood up, heading out the door and down the stairs.

“Hey, Jamie.” Aneirin smiled at him as he came downstairs. “Picked up dinner real quick. Sorry for being late.” He set a bag of McDonald’s down on the nearby coffee table and sighed, reaching upward to make sure his eye-patch was in place.

It’s fine, JJ signed. You’ve been busy lately.

“Yeah, uh...speaking of which.” Aneirin cleared his throat. “I have to go out again later tonight.”

JJ slumped a bit. You sure?

“Yeah...work shit, you know how it is.” Aneirin shook his head. “But hey, I mean, without my work, we wouldn’t have a house, so I’ll take it.”

That was true. Though...Jameson still wasn’t sure what exactly Aneirin did for work. It had odd hours, and Aneirin was hesitant to talk about it, in a way that JJ had initially shrugged off, but was now starting to seem a bit odd. He’d been living with him for a year now, wasn’t it weird that he didn’t know what his brother did? Alright, JJ signed hesitantly. But you owe me.

Aneirin smiled. “I’ll buy you another book.”

I have a lot of books, Aneirin. I haven’t even read them all.

“Something else, then. Whatever you want. Within reason, of course.” Chuckling, Aneirin headed through the doorway into the kitchen. Inside, JJ heard the sound of the coffeemaker—a new addition—starting up.

Frowning, Jameson poked his head into the kitchen doorway. He knocked on the wood, but Aneirin didsn’t turn around, focused on the coffeemaker. “Aan...?” JJ called.

“Hmm?” Aneirin looked over at him.

You aren’t supposed to be holding hot things.

“Jesus christ, I’m not a baby, Jamie.”

Just...remember what happened last time? Jameson pointed out at him. You burned yourself. I’m just worried.

“Yes, but now I know what not to do.” Aneirin shrugged, and turned around. “Besides, the mug will stay on the counter most of the time. So no need to overreact.”

JJ frowned, but left anyway, heading back upstairs to grab his book. He’d move downstairs to finish it, just in case Aneirin ended up needing help.

A couple hours passed. If the past was any indicator, Aneirin would be leaving around this time. JJ made a big show of yawning, and glancing over to the couch where Aneirin was sitting, eyes fixed to the TV but not really paying any attention to the show that was on. Standing up and grabbing his book, JJ signed, I think I’ll go to bed now.

Aneirin responded, “Alright.” without looking away from the screen. Go to bed was one of the sign phrases he could understand even out of the corner of his eyes.

JJ headed up the stairs, slowing down once he reached the second story. He walked over to his room, opening the door and closing it without going inside, instead just waiting in the hall. Immediately, he heard the television downstairs turn off. Footsteps crossed the living room and headed outside. The front door opened and shut. Jameson put his book on the floor next to his room and carefully crept down the stairs, sticking near the walls to avoid the creaks. He made a slight detour to grab his cell phone from the kitchen drawer where it was kept. Then once back in the living room, he crouched close to the ground and crawled over to the front window, peeking outside.

In the driveway, Aneirin was checking something in the trunk of his car. Well, technically, Aneirin always called it “our car,” but he was the only one who drove it. JJ didn’t know how to drive yet. And even if he did, he didn’t have a job and it was the middle of summer vacation, so where would he even need to go? Or at least, those were some of the reasons Aneirin listed when explaining why he wouldn’t teach Jameson how to drive. JJ watched as Aneirin closed the car trunk, and started walking down the block, as he always did when he went out working late at night.

After making sure Aneirin was far enough away, JJ rushed out the front door and over to the car. He opened the door to the back seat and climbed inside, squeezing into the space between the seats where you would normally put your feet. They kept a spare blanket in the car, and Jameson reached over and tried to cover himself, attempting to make it look like the blanket was naturally falling off the seat. Then he waited.

Just a few minutes later, the driver’s side door opened, and he heard Aneirin get inside. The car soon started, and headed out, with Aneirin having no idea Jameson was in the back seat.

He was tired of not knowing anything about where Aneirin went. And if he wouldn’t tell him, JJ would find out by himself.

They drove for a surprisingly long time, long enough for Jameson to start aching from being in this uncomfortable twisted position. He couldn’t exactly tell where they were going from his hiding spot, but he didn’t hear anything unusual, apart from the occasional strange commercial on the radio channel Aneirin was listening to. But of course, the car eventually stopped, and Aneirin climbed out. The locks thunked shut after he left.

Jameson waited a few minutes before sitting up and pushing the blanket aside. Looking out the car windows, he blinked in surprise. This...wasn’t what he was expecting. Instead of being parked outside some building on the outskirts of town, the car was pulled into a small gap in between two large, looming buildings. There was no light coming from them, and only the faint, watery street lamp beams to illuminate anything. Why would Aneirin have driven here...?

After a moment’s hesitation, Jameson unlocked the car door and stepped out. He walked out onto the street, finding it lined with similar tall, wide buildings. Where was this place? Some sort of storage? Why wasn’t anything lit up? JJ shivered, reaching into his pocket to double-check that his cell phone was there. He should find Aneirin, make sure that he was okay.

He looked left down the street, saw nothing, and looked right. There was a group of three people standing beneath one of the weak street lights. With them being the only people in sight, JJ headed in their direction. Eventually, he started picking up voices.

“—kid’s been a runner for three years, cut him some slack.” An unfamiliar female voice.

“No one gets slack at all.” An unfamiliar male voice. “Not even us, Kelly.”

“Still, he does his job.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” And that...that was Aneirin’s voice. Though strangely, his accent, a bit Irish from the years he’d spent being a foster kid in that country, had thickened. “Just give me the green.”

Jameson ducked around a corner of a building, peering out at the group of three. A man, a woman, and Aneirin. He watched as Aneirin handed over a backpack, and the man handed him a case. What was this? It seemed...shady. Aneirin couldn’t really be involved in something like this, right? 

The woman leaned closer to Aneirin, lowering her voice so it couldn’t be heard from where Jameson was watching. But judging from the way Aneirin tensed, whatever she was saying wasn’t good news. Aneirin responded in an equally low tone, and the man suddenly laughed. “You?! Tiny thing like you? Obvious blind spot and likely to collapse at any time? Nah, lad, we’ll go with the professionals.”

That was exactly the wrong thing to say. Aneirin bristled, and even from here Jameson could see the anger in his expression. “Easy there,” the woman said, her tone patronizing. “You wouldn’t want to fall down, would you?”

Aneirin lunged at her, and a scream rang out through the empty street. The woman stumbled back, turning enough so that Jameson could see the way her front was stained red. “You little—!” The man grabbed Aneirin by his jacket, and JJ couldn’t help but cry out.

He didn’t think it would be audible to the group, but both the man and Aneirin looked over toward him. JJ’s eyes widened, and he ducked behind the building. “Oh, you brought a friend, didn’t you, you little bastard?!” The man yelled. “Looks like you, too! Family field trip, is it?”

“Hey! Back off!” Aneirin snarled. It would’ve been intimidating, if not for the nervous crack in the middle.

“Oh no, I don’t think so!”

Jameson heard footsteps running towards him, and instantly took off, running down the gap between the buildings. But the man was much faster, and the footsteps grew louder. Jameson glanced over his shoulder, and the man was just a few feet away. He gasped, and pushed himself farther, turning onto another street, then running into another gap in an attempt to shake the man off.

“Don’t you run, you—AAARGK!”

The strange noise wasn’t enough to stop JJ from running. He continued to weave around the gaps in the buildings, until he arrived back at the one the car was parked in. He tore open the backseat door and practically threw himself inside, locking it behind him. He fell onto the floor of the car and stayed there, sitting, knees pulled to his chest and his heart pounding in his throat. His eyes were fixed on staring through the dirty glass of the car window.

A figure appeared there. Jameson made a strangled sort of sound, backing up. The figure knocked on the glass, then a flashlight turned on, shining into the car. Jameson blinked in the light, then squinted through it, recognizing Aneirin as the one holding the flashlight.

Aneirin pointed towards the driver’s side door, and disappeared, rounding around the car. The locks thunked, and Aneirin opened the door and climbed inside. “Jamie?” he called.

Jameson didn’t relax, but leaned forward, into the spot between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat.

“Oh my god!” Aneirin grabbed JJ’s head, one hand on either side, and pulled him even closer. “What were you thinking?! What are you even doing here?! Did you follow me? Why the fuck would you do that?! There’s a reason I don’t tell you what I do!”

Jameson was stunned into silence for a moment. He let Aneirin continue on in a similar vein for a while, then slowly signed, I was just curious.

“Curious?! I—” Aneirin leaned back, burying his face in his hands and taking a few deep breaths. “You can’t...do stuff like that, Jamie,” he said. 

...I’m sorry, JJ signed hesitantly.

“It’s...fine, Jamie, just...just don’t do that again.” Aneirin sighed, looking out the windshield. “Who knows what could’ve happened to you?”

Jameson fell silent for a moment, then awkwardly climbed into the passenger seat, settling into it. What happened to the man? And the woman?

“They’re...dead,” Aneirin said slowly.

Did you kill them? Jameson asked, eyes wide and disbelieving.

“...yes,” Aneirin’s voice was barely audible.

Why?!

Aneirin opened the car door and leaned over outside, picking up something on the ground. He pulled the case from earlier into the car and threw it into the backseat. “Because we need money to live and shit, Jamie, that’s why. Someone offers you a lot, and all you need to do is...go back on your word, then you take it.”

JJ shook his head silently, shocked. Aneirin...have you done this before?

Aneirin shifted in his seat. “What, go to a regular drop-off then walk away with two people dead? No.”

Silence fell. Jameson dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“What’re you doing?” Aneirin said, sitting up straight.

Calling 999, Jameson answered.

“Wh—no! You can’t do that!” Aneirin grabbed Jameson’s wrist, pulling it, and the phone he was holding, away. “Look, I know it looks bad, but there’s absolutely nothing to connect us to this. See? I’m wearing gloves, no fingerprints.”

Jameson stared at him, absolutely stunned. We can’t just let— he started to sign one-handedly.

“No, we have to. Jameson, if the police hear about this, they’re going to judge my place an unfit home, and me an unfit guardian, and they’re going to put you back in the system.” Aneirin tightened his grip on Jameson’s wrist. “I-I can’t let that happen! I can’t let you go back there! Who knows what’ll happen?!”

Jameson managed to pull his wrist away from Aneirin’s grip. They’re not going to put a seventeen-year-old into the foster system. I’m practically an adult.

“As someone who was recently seventeen, that’s debatable. And legally, you’re still a child. It doesn’t matter how close to eighteen you are, until your actual birthday, they’re not gonna let you go.” There was a strong bitter note in Aneirin’s voice. “I can’t...I’ve only had you back for a year, Jamie. After ten fucking years of wondering what happened to you. Please don’t...don’t leave.”

Jameson hesitated. Aneirin’s eyes were shining with a desperate light that could be seen even in the shadows the car was hiding in. And he had to admit, he didn’t want to leave his brother, either. He sighed gently, and put his cell phone down on the dashboard of the car. Alright, fine.

Aneirin practically wilted with relief. “Thank you so much, Jamie.” He twisted in his seat, starting the car. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

The car headed out, with Jameson and Aneirin sitting in silence. Jameson stared out the window, watching as they gradually traveled to a more well-lit part of the town. He expected them to head home. But instead, Aneirin headed to the town center, and parked outside a lit-up building. “Look,” he said, glancing in JJ’s direction. “I’m sorry about...the yelling, earlier. I was just stressed and worried. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was angry with you.”

Jameson exhaled slowly. It’s okay, Aneirin.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Aneirin promised. “Look.” He nodded at the building they were parked outside.

Wait...JJ’s eyes widened. We’re going to Tompson’s?

“Yep.” Aneirin smiled. “Ice cream sounds good after tonight. Luckily they’re open late. You can get whatever you want, whatever size.”

Really? Anything? JJ asked doubtfully. Tompson’s was known for being relatively expensive, but also delicious. They usually saved it for special occasions.

“Of course. It’s on me.”

JJ looked back out the window. He started nodding, slowly at first, then faster. Well, alright then. Can’t do that in the car.

Aneirin laughed. “Course not. Hey, not even gonna say thank you?”

Jameson exhaled softly, and rolled his eyes. Aneirin was always like this. “Thhnk yu-yuh. Annn.” He could’ve signed it, but if Aneirin wanted that, he would’ve said ‘sign.’

“You’re welcome,” Aneirin smiled. “Now let’s go.”

The rest of the night was rather nice. Jameson almost forgot what had happened earlier. Almost. It turns out, these events would not be forgotten easily.

——————

...Jameson was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of his text alert going off. Jameson?? Are you oaky?? Whyd you hang up? Chase asked. It was quickly followed by a *okay

I’m fine, Chase, JJ replied. I just had to think for a moment.

Are you actually fine or just saying that?

Jameson thought hard about this question. I won’t lie. I’m a little...He paused, wanting to type out ‘scared,’ but that might be a bit too far. That was probably something he should talk over with his therapist on Monday; now was not the time to unload everything. ...shaken, hearing about this. But I’ll be okay, I promise.

Alright, if your sure, Chase said. But if you ever need anyone, Im right here.

Thank you, Chase.

The city bus finally pulled up to the station, and JJ hopped aboard, pressing his bus pass to the card reader before taking a seat. He stared out the window as the bus started rolling again. He couldn’t help but glance behind him, even knowing that nobody would be there.

——————

A few days passed, and Monday morning dawned cold and rainy. Dr. Laurens opened her umbrella as soon as she got off the bus, holding it with her unbroken arm. She sighed quietly. Well, looked like she had to walk to work today. And for a while, actually, until her arm was healed enough for her to drive again. She’d better get used to it.

A few drizzly moments later, Laurens stepped inside the main doors of Silver Hills. Awkwardly closing her umbrella, she walked up to the front desk. “Hi, I need to see Dr. Newson, is she in?”

The orderly at the desk looked up, and her eyes widened. “Oh my god, Rya?!”

“Hey, Theresa,” Laurens said, smiling tiredly. “Is Newson in?”

“Yes, I-I can page her—mother of god, what happened to you?” Theresa asked as she started messing with her pager. “You disappeared! Are you alright?”

‘Alright’? Well, that was debatable. The broken arm was not ‘alright,’ and Laurens was pretty sure there was a lot else that would not fit into ‘alright.’ But she’d waited this long. She’d spent time in the hospital, then practically begged to go home so she could get used to being on her own, without having to worry about threats to her life. But still, she couldn’t stop thinking about getting back to work. She knew Newson had taken over Schneep’s case, and she knew Newson hated him. How could she just stand by and leave this situation alone? So, if by ‘alright’ you meant ‘functional and willing to help others,’ then yes, she was alright. “I’m fine, thanks,” Laurens said. “Should I just wait for Newson here?”

“Uh...yeah, that would be great.”

Laurens took a seat in the reception area, looking around. It seemed a bit surreal to be back here after...everything with Anti and Jackie. Like she was last here years ago, instead of just a few months.

About five minutes later, footsteps came down the hall, and Laurens stood up as Newson appeared. Newson’s eyes immediately locked onto her, and she froze. “Wh—Rya?”

“Yes, it’s me,” Laurens stated.

Newson gaped at her, then rushed over to stand in front of her. “You’re okay! Oh my god, I—we were so worried!”

“Really?” Laurens asked, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice. “I mean...from what I remembered, you were probably going to fire me—”

“No! I mean—I—” Newson stammered. “I didn’t want you to—look, I may have made a bit of a rushed judgement that day, and I...would hate for that to be the last thing I ever said to you. You truly are great at your job, a-and a great person as well. And I’m not going to fire you.”

“Great,” Laurens nodded. “In that case, can I take my patient back please?”

“Wh—” Newson seemed taken aback by the question stated so clearly. “I...mean...”

“Because I don’t believe that your methods work well with him,” Laurens said, voice and expression deadpan. “Unless something has changed in the two months I’ve been gone.”

“I...” Newson cleared her throat, collecting herself. “Of course you can take the case again. Do understand that I—hello, can I help you?”

Laurens turned around. A tall woman in a black raincoat had just entered the reception area, carrying a briefcase. “Actually, yes,” the woman said. “I’m looking for Dr. Jennifer Newson.”

“That would be me,” Newson said, patting down her coat and smiling cordially. “Do you need something?”

“Ah. My name is Aja Bakshi, I am from Henson & Singh At Law.” Bakshi set her briefcase on the reception desk, opening it up and slapping a piece of paper covered in type down on the surface. “My client wishes to sue you for malpractice, negligence, and abuse of power with your position. This is the notice, details are included on it, as well as my phone number.”

Newson was left speechless. She just stared at Bakshi, absolutely shocked, her wide-eyed gaping expression somewhat reminiscent of a fish. Laurens had to bite back a smile as the thought occurred to her. “Uh...” Newson finally said. “Who...who’s suing me?”

“Details are on the notice, Dr. Newson,” Bakshi said calmly. “We have scheduled a court hearing for the 23rd. We expect to see you there.” And with that, Bakshi snapped the briefcase closed, and turned on her heel and left, door swinging closed behind her.

“Uh...Dr. Newson, are you alright?” Theresa asked.

Newson didn’t answer, instead picking up the paper and scanning it over. “Maher...?” she muttered. “I know that name...”

“Well, I’ll leave you to that,” Dr. Laurens said. “For now, I’d like to see my patient. But I seem to have lost my keycard.”

Newson looked up sharply. “Uh...right. I’ll call Oliver Hopkins, he can take you to the room. Can you get a coat on with your arm like that? Dress code, and all. We have some in—”

“In the back room, I know,” Laurens said. “I’ll meet Oliver there, then.”

About ten minutes later, Laurens had made her way to the back room and pulled on a white coat over her cast before replacing her arm in her sling.

“...Doc?”

Laurens glanced over, watching as Oliver rounded the corner. She smiled. “Hello, Oliver. Your phone is poking out of your pocket, by the way. Be careful.”

Oliver laughed, and wiped his eyes. “Holy shit, you’re okay. I mean, your arm, but. You know.”

“I do know, thank you,” Laurens chuckled. She then sighed. “Anyway, I wanted to check on Schneep. I don’t think I’ll be able to start a session until tomorrow, after I get all the stuff sorted out for coming back, but I...just want to see if he’s alright.”

Oliver winced. “That’s a...that’s a good idea.”

Listening to his tone, Laurens was suddenly shot through with worry. Part of her had wondered if her concern was a bit strange, especially for a therapist-patient relationship, but that one sentence was proof she was justified. “Alright...let’s go down to his room, then.” Laurens turned and started down the hall.

“Uh, Doc?” Oliver called. “He’s not in his room. He’s in the quiet room.”

Laurens stopped, turning around to look at him. “...well,” she said. “Let’s get him out of there, then.”

“Yeah, uh. Good idea,” Oliver muttered. “I should probably tell you that he’s been in there a couple times, and he...doesn’t react well to it.”

“Of course he doesn’t,” Laurens muttered, already heading down the hall in the other direction. Honestly, they should just call the room what it actually was: solitary. She supposed it wasn’t a bad idea in principle; sometimes the more hostile patients needed a place to cool down where they couldn’t hurt anyone or themselves. But in situations like this, locking someone in a room alone did more harm than good. Especially now that she knew what had actually happened to Schneep in the nine months he disappeared.

The door to the quiet room looked identical to all the other rooms in the older wing of the hospital, with the only exception being that it didn’t have a room number. But once Oliver opened the door, it became clear what made this room so different. It was the only place in the entire building that had its walls padded, and there was no furniture inside except for a bedframe with a mattress but nothing else. Laurens stepped into the room, looking around. She quickly spotted the figure curled up on the floor in the corner. “Schneep?” She called softly.

Schneep had his arms wrapped around his head, but upon hearing his name, he flinched and moved them enough to see out at her.

“Hey, it’s me,” Laurens said, keeping her voice friendly. “Remember me?”

“Hm.” The small sound wasn’t a confirmation or a denial. Schneep’s eyes darted towards the doorway, with Oliver standing in it.

Laurens looked back towards the doorway as well. Get out of sight, she mouthed. Oliver looked hesitant, but stepped to the side, out of view. Laurens looked back towards Schneep, taking a few steps forward. “Schneep, I need you to answer me. Do you remember me?”

“...Jackie?” Schneep said, his voice hoarse.

“No, I’m not Jackie,” Laurens said. She took a few more steps forward, then got down to kneel on the floor. “You’re not with Jackie right now. You’re in the hospital, remember?”

This seemed to confused Schneep for a bit, but he loosened up, uncovering his head as he realized Laurens wasn’t a threat. “Hospital...” he muttered. “Which one?”

“Silver Hills,” Laurens said.

A short pause. “You are...not lying?” Immediately after asking the question, Schneep laughed. “You would say you are not, either way.”

“I wouldn’t lie about where you are, Schneep,” Laurens said quietly. “I wouldn’t trick you like that.” She paused for a moment, gauging Schneep’s reaction. “Do you need anything?”

“Do I...?” The question threw him off for a bit. “I...I do not want to be here. No, no. Not here.”

“Alright, then let’s go.” Laurens held out her hand, palm-up. Schneep flinched away for a moment, but then reached out and grabbed it. “We’re going to stand up now, okay?”

Schneep nodded, and Laurens unfolded herself from her kneeling position, awkwardly doing her best to stand up without using her arms. After a few moments of trying, she succeeded, and helped pull Schneep to his feet. He immediately stumbled, leaning against her. Laurens gasped slightly, noting the cloudy look in Schneep’s eyes and the way he was shaking a bit. There was no reason for him to be this heavily sedated. “How’re you feeling?” Laurens asked.

“Hmm...cotton,” Schneep said.

“I see. Can you walk?”

“I...I think so, yes.” Despite this assertion, when Laurens started to walk, Schneep only stumbled and almost fell.

“Whoa, take it easy,” Laurens said. “I’m going to call someone who can help, alright?”

“Al...yes.”

Laurens looked toward the doorway. Oliver had poked his head into view, making eye contact with her. She nodded, and he came into the room, silently lifting Schneep into a carrying position. Schneep didn’t protest. “We’re going back to your room, Schneep,” Laurens said. “Okay?”

Schneep paused. Then: “You are the doctor.”

“Yes, I am a doctor. So are you.”

“I know. I mean, you are...you stopped coming,” Schneep mumbled.

Laurens nodded. “Yes, but I didn’t want to. I would’ve kept coming if I could. But now I’m back.”

“Very good. Good that you are alright.” Schneep sighed. “Can we please leave here?”

“Yes, we’re leaving right now,” Laurens said. She started heading to the door, glancing back to make sure Oliver and Schneep were following her. They were.

She sighed gently. This was Newson’s fault, she knew it. But now, hopefully, they wouldn’t have to struggle with that for much longer.

—————— 

“Siri, what does GCS stand for?”

Jackie suddenly snapped to attention, almost hitting his head on the corner of the table. God, he hadn’t even heard Anti come into the room; he must’ve been buried deep in a daydream. Though, honestly, he couldn’t blame himself for that. It was much preferable to be in a daydream world than reality right now. In a daydream, he was able to forget about the cotton taste of the gag in his mouth, and the awkward angle his arms were handcuffed behind his back and around a table leg.

“Okay, I found this on the web,” said the robotic voice of Siri.

Anti was lounging on one of the apartment’s armchairs, dressed in an outfit that...wasn’t exactly his usual style. Jackie was oddly reminded of the way Chase dressed. Anti’s green glass eye had been replaced with a blue one, but he still had the old watch around his neck. “Three to five is good, then,” he muttered to himself. Anti glanced up, noticing Jackie staring at him. “Expecting something, hoodie man?”

Jackie flinched, and looked away, fixing his eyes on a water stain on the wall. He heard the sound of Anti shifting position, but didn’t look back.

Thwack!

A silver blade embedded itself in the wall inches from Jackie’s nose. Jackie cried out, flinging himself backwards and hitting his head against the table leg. Anti laughed. “God, you look like you just had a heart attack!” He paused. “Actually...Hey Siri, what do I do if someone has a heart attack?”

“Okay, I found this on the web.”

Jackie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take deep, calm breaths. It was difficult, to say the least. Part of him wanted to shout at Anti, ask him what he wanted with him. The rest of him knew that would be a terrible idea, even if he could speak.

This wouldn’t last forever, would it? Something had to change. Or at least, that’s what he told himself.

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing

Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?

Charlie: 👍

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: ill be there like i said

Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV

Charlie: but you’re already more than fashionably late, dear

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care

Charlie: It’s not his dinner party

Ronnie: no shit

Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like

Charlie: I’m just saying, you’ve wrangled an invite as is

Charlie: you’re gonna make it more awkward because?

Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary

Charlie: They’re nice kids, whatever beef you’ve got with your brother and the rest, I don’t see why you’ve got to involve them, is what I’m saying

Charlie: they’ve not got fuck all to do with your family drama

Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister

Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues

Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, don’t lie to me, like

Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont

Charlie: For fuck’s sake Veronica

Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch

Charlie: You can’t show up here high

Charlie: they’ll be terrified, might call the cops

Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do

Charlie: don’t you think you should take a break from him

Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down

Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about

Charlie: yeah, you can’t pretend it hasn’t happened obviously

Charlie: but that was before you shot him up

Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him

Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby

Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it

Charlie: really should go without saying

Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt

Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it

Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, ‘cos there’s no way it happened the once

Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now

Ronnie: you meant both 🖕 he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him

Charlie: Not the same is it

Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life

Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me

Charlie: was he using

Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses 💊

Charlie: yeah because there aren’t levels to it

Charlie: come off it

Charlie: the 💊s he takes aren’t on the level of smack, at all

Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit

Charlie: I give a shit because you’re a mess

Charlie: more than usual

Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like

Charlie: you’re choosing to come tonight though

Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit

Charlie: and that’s it?

Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be

Charlie: You tell me

Ronnie: i just did

Charlie: Alright then

Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]

Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]

Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]

Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]

Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]

Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]

Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]

Charlie: [he’s obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]

Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before we’re bleeding]

Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah

Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad

Ronnie: what you ignoring me for 🖕💔

Ronnie: fucks sake

Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he won’t immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm that’s going on but she wouldn’t have told him about this until literally now]

Charlie: [just a look like DON’T that cannot be overstated]

Charlie: why would you do that

Ronnie: can we fucking go now

Charlie: you can

Charlie: don’t use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, you’re beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ

Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]

Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]

Charlie: what the fuck are you doing

Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once she’s left]

Ronnie: leaving

Ronnie: youre welcome

Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah

Ronnie: you too florence dead caring

Charlie: you can’t hack a kid’s dinner party?

Ronnie: fuck you

Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head

Charlie: yet you can’t leave him alone

Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you won’t do that

Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of

Ronnie: youve not

Charlie: you aren’t a kid, I can’t force you to sort your life out

Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me

Charlie: I’m not OD’ing with strangers

Ronnie: 💔 everyone liked you better when you were using

Charlie: you did

Charlie: and that isn’t a good enough reason to be a junkie forever

Ronnie: no shit i did

Charlie: well I’m so sorry your majesty

Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me

Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack

Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit

Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie

Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me

Charlie: that’s bullshit

Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it weren’t going your way

Charlie: you expected me to help?

Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers

Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind

Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours

Charlie: no

Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to

Charlie: because you’re the only one who has family issues

Charlie: fuck you, you know I’d give anything to be in your spot

Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that

Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this

Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at

Charlie: why can’t you just fucking

Charlie: cut him off or actually try

Ronnie: this is me trying

Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door

Charlie: then you need to stop

Charlie: I’ll tell him to leave you alone now

Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in

Charlie: I’m still doing it, you ain’t here to stop me

Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type

Charlie: not funny

Ronnie: not joking

Charlie: don’t be tapped, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him now

Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck

Charlie: yeah well I’m slightly more discerning, tah very much

Ronnie: these days

Charlie: yeah, where we live now

Charlie: I’m not trying to relive my worst years every weekend

Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids

Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend

Charlie: I never said I was there yet

Charlie: better than the state of you

Ronnie: 🖕💔

Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt

Charlie: that’s the sound of me being unimpressed

Charlie: grow up

Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face

Charlie: I’m going out

Ronnie: with your new bezzies

Charlie: what’s it to you

Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself

Charlie: because I’m not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is

Charlie: yeah, I’m the problem, alright babe

Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there

Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you

Charlie: I wouldn’t act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out

Charlie: and what help? You haven’t asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds

Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with

Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now

Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip

Charlie: gossip are you serious

Charlie: ‘cos this either is and I’m the shittest mate in the world or it isn’t and it’s ‘gossip’

Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: fuck you its your fault

Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch

Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone

Charlie: okay, we should’ve gone

Charlie: go on

Ronnie: you were there

Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you

Ronnie: yeah well done

Charlie: you say that like I’m meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point

Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess

Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now

Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic

Charlie: just tell me and we’ll sort it

Ronnie: fuck off

Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down

Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]

Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far

Charlie: what a great idea

Charlie: come on

Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really

Charlie: very mature

Charlie: I’ll see you when I get home

[finnwolfhard7137]

The Art of Falling in Love-Finn Wolfhard × Reader

Chapter Two is here...

Chapter Three: Crushin'

Word Count 1.6k

Warnings: very little angst, fluff

_____________________________________

You wake up an hour before Finn told you too because you wanted to make sure that you didn't look homeless for your breakfast date. You decide on going with a plain long sleeve shirt with a green jacket and a pair of jeans. Your hair is still kind of curled from your shoot yesterday so you just leave your hair and put on a pair of glasses. You text your mom a good morning text and wait for Finn to get you.

Finn knocks on the trailer door and you yell for him to come in. When he opens up the door, you are putting on your shoes.

Finn "Good-" he stops when he sees you, "Okay how can you look this good at 6 a.m?" You blush and hide your face in your hands. 

"I can say the same about you," you walk over to hug him and tell him good morning. 

Finn "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, where are we going?"

Finn "I was thinking of taking you to one of my favorite restaurants up here, they serve the best breakfast."

"Okay, let's go." 

…

When you get in the car, Finn gives you the aux cord and you put on some old music that you both love and have in common. Finn is also a musician so he sings along with you and you two have the best time. When you get to the restaurant, Finn tells you to stay in the car. For a moment you are confused until he makes his way to your side of the car, you knew that he was going to open up your door for you. When he does, he smiles and says "m'lady." You giggle and get out of the car. When you get up to the restaurant doors, he opens that for you as well. He isn't just all looks, he is so kind, funny, sweet, encouraging and a gentleman. 

You and Finn order the same breakfast: an old fashioned omelet with bacon and fruit.

Finn "Thanks for going on this date with me."

"Yeah of course, why wouldn't I?!"

Finn "I don't know...I always get nervous with this type of stuff."

"I get that cause so am I. But with you it's different ya know?" He shakes his head in agreement, "It's natural, it's not pushed."

Finn "Yeah. When I was thinking about asking you yesterday, I was like am I doing this too soon? If she says no, would I make things awkward..?"

"Yeah, those are always the first questions that comes to mind but no, I am really glad that you asked me to breakfast, Finn." 

Finn "Me too. I'm having a good time Y/n." You two talk until you realize that you need to get back to the trailer park. 

Finn "Oh shit.."

"What?"

Finn "8:10.."

"Oh we need to go!" Finn gets the check and you both hurry out the restaurant. Even though you both were in a rush, he still opened the doors for you, which melted your heart. You really like him and you hope that this relationship blossoms into something great.

Finn "I lost track of the time talking to you. Everything else just…"

"Didn't matter?"

Finn "Yeah. Everything else just didn't exist...it all just kind of disappeared."

"Yeah, I felt the same way. We really need to get back." You both laugh in a panic and fly down the highway.

_____________________________________

You and Finn part ways when you get to the park and go into each other's trailers. When you got in, you probably sat down for like two minutes before Jamie and Carmen knocked on your door.

After they finished, they told you to meet with John to talk about the next shoot. 

"Hi! You wanted to see me?"

John "Y/n-Yes good morning!"

"Good morning sir."

John "So, I was thinking that since you and Finn have grown a close friendship that I could tie you into more of the movie."

"Really? I get more scenes?"

John "Yes. I had Thomas add to your script." He hands you a new and improved script.

"Thank you!"

John "Yeah, no problem kid. The way you acted yesterday, I want the audience to see your talent as much as possible."

"To hear you say that, means a lot to me. Thank you so much."

John "Absolutely. Run along now and check out your new lines." You nod and go back to your trailer and read your lines until it is time for Finn and Oakes to start filming. You read that you are hanging out at Theo's place and Boris comes over and that is how he is introduced to you in the movie. 

…

Since the movie is changed a little, you are filming with Finn and Oakes today. You walk up to the group and stand next to Finn. He looks down at you and smiles.

Oakes "You get to film with us today!"

"I know! John told me and handed me a new script."

Finn wraps his arm around your shoulder, "It's funny cause Y/n and I were hoping that we'd get to film together and now we do!"

Oakes laughs, "It is like god answered your prayer!"

Finn "I mean, you're not wrong." You smile and look up at finn. 

…

You and Oakes get in your positions. You have your prosthetic on and look like you did yesterday pretty much. 

John "And...action!" 

Theo "I'm glad that you came with me Pippa."

"Thank you for inviting me. With what we've been through, it feels good to be away from New York."

You and Oakes do your lines until it is time for Finn to join in.

"Who is that? I thought that your dad wasn't supposed to come home until tonight?"

Theo "It's probably just Boris."

"Boris?" That is when Finn comes into the house and looks at you. Every time he does, it takes your breath away. 

Boris "Who is your friend?" You forget that you have your prosthetic on and you touch it by accident but you roll with it and act like it hurt you. 

Theo "This is my friend from New York, Pippa."

Boris "Hi, I'm Boris."

"Nice to meet you."

You three go through your lines and finish up your scene. 

Boris "What happened?"

"I was in the bombing with Theo...I hit my head."

Boris "I am sorry." You try to hide it with your hand when he grabs your hand and puts it back on the table, "No need to feel self conscious Pippa. You are very beautiful, scar or no scar." You knew that he meant what he said, camera or no camera. 

"Thank you, Boris. Theo, I should really get some rest. It was nice meeting you."

Boris "Sleep well."

Theo "Okay, I'll see you when you wake up." In the movie, you are staying with Theo until further notice because your uncle died in the bombing and do not want to stay with other family members. 

Boris "Is she alright?"

Theo "Yeah, she just gets tired very easily now. She can't even listen to music anymore without struggling."

Boris "That is awful. I feel for her."

Theo "So do I, that is why I offered for her to stay with me because I know what it feels like. We both lost family that day."

John "And cut!!"

You come back downstairs and Finn comes running to you and hugs you.

"Are you okay?!"

Finn let's go of you, only to cup your left cheek in his hand, "Yeah I just...that scene felt too real and I am just glad that that didn't really happen to you."

"Aw Finn...it's just a movie, I'm fine."

Finn "I know.." he hugs you and then you three get separated because Finn and Oakes have to film without you. 

Bill takes off your prosthetic and you get comfortable. It is now 5:21 p.m and you are done filming for the day. You watch Sarah, Luke, Finn and Oakes film their last scene for the evening. You catch Finn looking at you from behind the camera and you can't help but smile.

_____________________________________

Finn and Oakes get their makeup and wardrobe taken off just as you did and then join you and Sarah along with some other co-stars at the bonfire in the middle of the park. It was your idea to have one since it was a long day and it was really cold tonight. You sit the closest to the fire because you didn't have your hoodie on. When Finn joins you and the group, he brung a spare hoodie with him and hands it to you. You thank him and accept his offer. Once you have his large hoodie on, you are instantly warmer. 

You all stayed by the fire until everyone got too tired to stay up anymore. It was just you, Finn and Oakes until 12 a.m. when Oakes left to go to bed as well. 

Oakes "Good night guys."

You and Finn "Good night."

Oakes "You guys aren't coming?"

Finn "Nah, I'm not tired enough yet."

Oakes "Okay, see you two in the morning." 

When Oakes left, Finn got up and sat behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You rest your head on his chest and enjoy the rest of the fire that is dying down. 

Finn "Is this okay?"

"Mhm." You feel your eyes getting heavier and heavier. He kisses your cheeks and you melt more and more in his arms. This morning was amazing, but this moment by far beats every moment previous. 

@moriartysringtone7137 @thethirtysomethingfangirl @strangerev @tysblackswan @spidey-starky @btsarmygirl417 @jk97-wolfhard

[boilerevans]

A Waiting Game

Summary: Carrington Price was a small-town girl with a big dream. She just didn’t think it could become real life.

Pairing: Chris Evans / Original Character

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: Lots of fluff. I apologize it has taken so long for a new chapter. This semester of classes is already kicking my ass but I should be able to write more.  If you’re interested in becoming part of the taglist, comment or message me. :)

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Carrington didn’t want to admit it, but being on set without Jennifer breathing down her neck was amazing. She felt like she had so much more flexibility to do what she wanted. The director let her watch and listen to filming instead of running all around for props and costumes. Not that it wasn’t important but filming was what she wanted to do. What she loved watching the post was watching Chris transition into Steve.  

Between takes, Chris would find her and watch her every move around the set. He could see in her eyes that she was enjoying every second of the evening. It was amazing to see someone be so passionate about what they loved doing. Chris found himself falling for her. Fasting than he would have ever expected.  

Carrington as they set the next take as Chris walked back to the dark side of the track. Everyone gets set and action is called. The train moves quickly along the tracks and the camera focuses in to see the figure of Chris. He turns his body to catch the green spear that’s thrown towards him and then they call cut.  

The scene resets and they take just one more take before moving onto the next scene. Then he walks forward to reveal himself in the light before pausing to throw the spear back out of the shot.  

As they reset for the next take, Chris notices Carrington looking into the monitor and breaks into a goofy grin, making her laugh.

----

They break for a late dinner and Chris makes his way across the platform to Carrington.  

“You are absolutely beautiful when you work,” Chris says, snaking his arm around her waist.  

She looks up at him and smiles.  

“Are you obsessed with me or something?” She laughs.  

“Is that a problem?”  

“No. Just a little creepy.” She kisses his cheek and they begin to walk to the food onset.  

They both scan the table and find something to tide them over for the next few hours. Chris grabs a chicken wrap and Carrington settles for coffee and fruit.  

“So I’ve been thinking.” Carrington starts to say and sits at a table next to Chris.  

“Yes, ma’am?” Chris asks before taking a bite of his food.  

“Could we actually have our first date here? In Scotland?” She asks timidly.  

“What changed your mind?” He asks.  

“How many people get to say that their first date with someone was in another country?” She chuckles.  

“That is pretty special.”  

Carrington leans her head down on his shoulder and sighs.

“Are you tired sweetheart?” Chris takes his hand and places it on her knee.  

“Only a little.”  

He pushes the coffee cup towards her and she sits up.  

“Drink up Carrie.”  

“Oh, please don’t call me that.”  

“Why not?” He smiles widely.  

“Cooper and my dad have done that since I could walk and it’s the worst thing.”  

“What’s a nickname you do like then?”

“I’ve had people call me Cara before. I don’t mind it. I’d go by my middle name but it’s not much better than Carrington.”  

“What’s your middle name?”  

“You’ll have to get me drunk for me to let that one slip.”  

“I could always ask your brother.” He whispers and reaches to get her phone from her pocket.  

Carrington puts her hand on Chris’s thigh and moves it up towards his waist.  

“I suggest you don’t,” Cara says.  

“Why are you so weird about your brother knowing about me?”  

“Let’s just wait for after the date and then I’ll tell him. By then people will know what we’re filming. I want to tell him. Trust me. He’s my best friend.”  

“You know I wouldn’t let them take your job, right? Like if you and I became too much of a distraction I guess we could move you to different sets.”  

“Thank you.” Cara smiles and gets up from her seat.  

Chris walks up behind her and kisses the top of her head.  

“I care about you and I’m trying my best to show that to you.”  

----

“Alright, everyone. That’s it for tonight. We’ll go again tomorrow at 6. Get some rest.” The director says.

The crowd breaks apart to get in the vans to head back to the main set. Chris follows behind Carrington as she makes her way to the last van. They sit next to each other and wait as other crew members to fill the vehicle. Once the doors are shut and the lights turn off, Chris takes Cara’s hand into his. His thumb grazes the back of her hand. She looks to him in the dark Carrington sees Chris’s blue eyes as the van drives through the city and the lights flash across his face.  

Once they pull up to the trailers, the door to the van opens and everyone files out. Chris walks next to Cara with his arm around her back.  

“I need to go to the costume trailer first. Do you wanna go ahead or come with me?” Chris asks.  

Carrington lets out a yawn.  

“I’ll come with you.”

They turn towards the costume trailer and Chris opens the door for Cara.  

“Hey, Jamie.” Chris says, “Here. You can sit here.”  

Chris puts his hands on the back of a chair and motions Carrington to it. The woman named Jamie comes around the corner and gives Cara a small smile.  

“Hi. I’m Jamie.” She reaches a hand out.  

“Hi. I’m Carrington. The production intern.”  

“Ah. You ready to breathe again Chris?”  

“That would be fantastic. You gotta show me how this thing works so I can get some ventilation between takes tomorrow.”  

They walk towards the back of the trailer behind a divider. Carrington pulls out her phone. Three messages from Copper.  

Cooper: CARRINGTON

Copper: Are you working on the marvel set?!  

Cooper: I don’t care what time it is in Scotland message me back.  

Before texting him back, she goes to twitter to see what information was out there. After some brief searches, she found pictures of the set from not long ago, if you looked closely you could see her and Chris eating dinner. Fuck. Carrington slumped down into the chair. She checked the time, 04:47. Cooper was definitely in bed by now back home. She’d talk to Chris first and then Cooper. She needed to clear her head.  

The door opened behind her and she turned to see Anthony.  

“Are you joining the cast?” He asks and sits in the chair next to her.  

Carrington chuckles, “No. Just waiting on Chris.”  

“Oh get used to that. He’s a slowpoke.”  

“Mackie. How come every time you’re talking to Cara you’re always talking shit about me?” Chris says coming from the back.  

Carrington looks over to Chris and smiles. He was wearing dark gray sweats and a white t-shirt that hugged his body.  

“I figure she should know the real you before she has to find out for herself,” Mackie says and gets up from his seat.  

“I’ll see ya later.” Chris smiles and puts his hand on Anthony’s shoulder.  

Carrington gets up from her seat and walks to the door.  

“You ready babe?” She asks.  

Chris walks up behind her.  

“Please never stop calling me that.” He says roughly.  

As they walk, Carrington moves into Chris’s body. She could never get over how warm he always was.  

He stops walking when they reach his trailer.  

“Do you want to grab some food when you wake up?” Chris asks, “I probably won’t be getting much sleep.”

“Come stay with me.”  

Chris gives a small smile and nods. He takes her hand into his and they continue walking down to her trailer. She opens the door and walks in ahead of him. They both take off their shoes and Chris locks the door.  

“Do you mind if I shower?” Chris asks.  

“Go ahead. I’d join you but my shower is much tinier than your fancy one.”  

Chris comes up to Carrington and wraps his arms around her waist. She looks up at Chris and he kisses her forehead.  

“Will you be awake when I’m done?” He asks.  

“I should be.” She smiles.  

Chris leaves a kiss on Cara’s lips and then heads to the shower. Cara heads to the bedroom quickly cleans the dirty clothes off the floor. She decides to change and throws on an oversized Colts hoodie with some boy shorts. She gets under the covers and gets her laptop from the side of the bed. Carrington checks some emails, reads a few news articles and then she hears the door to the bathroom open.  

Chris walks through the short hallway into the bedroom. His wet hair is slicked back and water drips down his chest. He has a towel wrapped around his waist. He sits in front of Carrington and places a hand on her knee.  

“What are you working on?”

“Just had some emails and I need to send a payment for my loans. Then I’ll be all yours.”  

“Sounds good baby.”  

The nickname makes her smile and she quickly types on her laptop. Once she’s done, she closes the laptop and places it back by the bed. By the time she looks back up, Chris is naked and crawling under the covers.  

“Do you need some clean pants?” Cara chuckles.  

“You mean you have something that would fit me?” He rolls towards her.

“Honey, I’m thicker than you are.”  

Carrington pulls the covers back and goes to her small closet to get out her unpacked suitcase. She rummages through the neatly folded clothes and finds a pair of plaid boxers.  

“Here we are,” Cara says and throws them at Chris.  

“Why do you have men’s boxers?”  

Chris moves the covers to expose his skin. Carrington’s eyes quickly look over his body. He sits up to put the boxers on.

“They’re comfortable to sleep in. Also. Next time don’t rub your bare ass on my bed like that.”  

“Come let me hold you.” He says.  

Carrington gives a small eye roll and gets back under the covers. They both scoot into the middle of the bed and Cara makes her way under Chris’s arm. A small kiss is placed on the top of her head and Chris runs his fingers along her arm.

“Are you tired?” He asks.  

“Just a little. How about you?”  

“I usually struggle to sleep any way but I do feel a little more tired than usual.”

“Let’s just sit and talk.” Cara turns that she can see Chris’s face.  

“Alright.” A small side smile crosses his face and he sits up.  

“Do you want to ask questions and we can just go from there?” She proposes.

Carrington now sits with her legs crisscrossed as she faces Chris.  

“What was college like?”  

“Well, I partied a lot more than I probably should have. My dad was gone after my first semester, so after that, I just let loose. I obviously made it through.” She chuckles, “Then in grad school, I got it together more, remembered how passionate I was. And now here I am.”  

“What’s the worst thing you ever did?”  

“In college?”  

He nods.

“In undergrad, I smoked a lot of pot. Did cocaine for about a semester. Had a few threesomes.”  

Chris closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He looks at her and she looks at him.

“What? Worse than you thought?” She asks.  

“I wouldn’t say worse. Just more than what I thought? If that makes sense?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

There’s a brief silence.

“Have you ever had a threesome?” Carrington asks.  

Chris coughs, “Uh no.”  

Carrington lays back on the bed and lifts her legs up to rest on the wall next to Chris’s head.  

“So the threesomes?” Chris asks.

Carrington lifts up her head, “Yes?”  

“What was the ratio of people?”

“Like all the ratios. Two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl. I’m telling you. Cocaine is crazy.” She lays her head back down on the bed.

“So are you bisexual?”  

Carrington scrunches her eyebrows together.

“No? I don’t think so. I just like sex.”  

Chris gives a small laugh.  

“Nothing wrong with that.”  

“What else do you want to know?”  

“Tell me about your dad.”  

“Oh. Um. Well.”  

“You don’t have to,” Chris says and puts a hand on her stomach.  

“No. It’s fine. I’m just trying to figure out what to say.”

Carrington adjusts her seating. She brings her legs back down and sits up, bringing her legs into her chest.  

“So, my dad’s name is David. David Price. He was born in Texas and he had the thickest accent for as long as I could remember. My mom says it was like that when they met. He went into the army at 18 and straight into Vietnam. He was there for a tour and then came home. Then traveled and worked odd jobs for ten years. Then he met my mom in Kentucky in ‘86. They got pregnant with Cooper 4 months into seeing each other. Dad always said he could never keep his hands-off Mom. Which grossed me out when I was younger, but I understand it now.”  

Carrington takes a pause and moves across the bed to sit on Chris’s lap. She lays her head down on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around her waist.  

“The older I got, the more I noticed my dad had PTSD. I think we got so close because I was the only person he’d talk to about the war. By the time I graduated high school, it was really bad and I was trying to get him to go to therapy since I was leaving for college.”  

“How far away were you from home for undergrad?”  

“4 hours. In another state. I could go anywhere I wanted with dad being a veteran. And then just before winter break, dad drove his car off the overpass of I-465.”

“So that’s what you meant when you said-?”

“That he was gone.”  

“I’m so sorry Carrington.”  

“The first two years were really hard. But Cooper helped a lot once he realized how horrible I was dealing with it. What got to me the most is that my mom didn’t cry when it happened or at the funeral. Every year on his birthday, Cooper and I go drink whiskey and line dance.”

“That sounds like fun.”  

“It is. You could come with us this year if you want?” Carrington sits up to look at him.  

“I thought you didn’t want me to meet your brother?”  

“Well by his birthday, we would have had on our first date, maybe more. And he already knows about me working for Marvel.”

“I’d love to meet him.” He smiles.  

Carrington lifts her head up and places a kiss on Chris’s lips. He brings one of his hands up to hold Carrington’s face.

“We can do to bed now if you want.”  

“I’d like to keep talking if that’s okay?”  

“Of course, that’s fine. I like how you talk about things.”

Carrington chuckles and lays her head back down Chris’s shoulder. They sit in silence for a while as Chris thinks about what to talk about. He starts to rub his hands along her sides.  

“Mmm, that feels good.”  

“Do you want a back rub?” Chris whispers in her ear.

“Oh my god, that would be amazing.”  

“Well, you’ll have to get up first.” He says softly.  

Carrington groans and moves off of Chris’s lap. She pulls her shirt off of her head and sets it on the bed. Cara watches as Chris’s eyes move across her bare chest. She lays down on the bed and crosses her arms under her head.  

“Is it alright if I sit on your legs?”  

“That’s fine.”  

Carrington closes her eyes and can hear Chris rub his hands together to warm them up. He moves over and straddles over the top of Carrington’s legs. The palms of his hands start at the bottom of her spine and move them up to her shoulders.  

“Mmm.” Cara moans.

A small smile crosses Chris’s face and he begins to work on one of her shoulders.  

“So why cocaine?” He asks.  

“It was a better high. A lot of fun at the time.”  

“And do you still smoke?”  

“Sometimes. Not often.”  

“I used to smoke a lot too. But slowed down. I started to lose focus.”  

“Yeah. I get that.”  

Chris’s hands are now in the middle of her back making their way back down her spine.

“You’re really good at this.” She says.  

“I like to make sure my girl is taken care of.”

“Your girl huh?”  

Chris gets off of Carrington’s legs and lays back down next to her. Cara rolls over to face him.

“You may not think you’re my girl yet, but soon enough you’ll see you are all mine.”

“Like in a loving way, right?”  

“The most loving way.”  

Chris leans into her and begins leaving kisses on her neck.

“Chris!” Carrington giggles and puts her hands on the sides of his face.

“What?” He says and starts kissing the other side of her neck.

“We need to sleep.”  

“I know. I’m just kissing you.”  

“It feels like you’re doing a lot more than just kissing me.”

He pulls back and pushes some hair back behind her ear.  

“Okay. I’ll stop.”  

“Just give me a few hours to sleep. Then we can do all kinds of dirty things.”  

“I can work with that.”  

Chris moves his arm so that Carrington can put her head on his chest.  

“Sleep tight sweetheart.”

Taglist: @katedrexel @denisemarieangelina @smilexcaptainx @winnielinleigh

[maviemesregles]

Once I was an Eagle

The third chapter is here, folks! :) The story unfolds itself slowly but surely. (NSFW)

A shoutout to my lovely beta @eclecticstarlightconnoisseur <3 Thank you for sharing this journey with me and for your kind words of encouragement.

So from now on, you guys don't have to bear with my mistakes any longer :)

❤

As always it’s available on AO3.

Chapter I: The beginnings

Chapter II: Sassenach

CHAPTER III: Catharsis

Mess was something I was afraid of. I remember my mother always saying that sometimes I'm too emotional and irrational. So I've learned how to be organized and keep everything in order, including my emotions. I had to. I was a surgeon and could not allow my feelings or temper overtake me. Claire Beauchamp who knows what to do. Years of learning made me a perfect example of a control freak. I could be a coach giving lessons on how to hold your shit together. But, it was a facade, a mask put on for work and strangers, for the patients who needed to have a Dr. Beauchamp who has everything under control. My true nature did not always correspond with the show I tried to sell.

Since I bumped into that tall Scot, the last little thread I held over my inner world was slipping out of my fingers. Then there was a law of inertia. I was balancing on the edge before falling down to the abyss of the unknown.

I returned home with an unsatisfied ache in my belly, between my thighs, behind my closed eyelids, and on my swollen kissed lips. I jumped into the hot shower furiously scrubbing down myself to wash off the smell of the pub, the street, (and his cologne that traveled with me home) off my skin. I've spent a good twenty minutes standing under the shower trying to reclaim the power over the situation that was running away from me as quickly as the water into the drain below my feet. I inhaled and exhaled (the way they taught us at yoga classes which Geillis made me go).

My fingers traced the bottom lip where I could still taste him. Get a grip, Beauchamp.

When I just crossed the threshold, Geillis's number was shining on my screen before I even could take shoes off of my aching feet. "I hoped ye willna pick up." She mumbled mouth fulll, chewing on something crispy.

"Ye did so I reckon yer not with him?"

"Nah".

"Was he that bad?"

I shook my head as if she could see me. 

"No, not at all. At the beginning of the evening, I couldn't guess if he's just a confident prick who's trying to get into my knickers or not but now I don't know." 

After a detailed description of the date to Geillis, I strolled down to the bathroom. “Maybe he didn't like me?" I asked thoughtfully, trying to get rid of mascara that has imprinted into the delicate skin, which now was turning red.

"He'd better get into yer knickers"  Geillis snorted. "But I think the lad likes ye well enough, only he has decided to teach ye a lesson after Lallybroch or he's being a gentleman. If he wanted to get ye laid he'd done it this evening."

“Is it a good or bad thing?" I asked pulling my jeans down.

"I dinna ken. I'd say ye invite this Jamie over to dinner and see for yourself".

Grabbing Adso under my armpit on the way to the bedroom, my phone came alive with a loud ringing (Jesus, I have to change that ringtone). Already planning what I might say to Geillis (remembering all swear words I knew) I almost pressed Accept but stopped right in time, seeing "James" on the screen. I stared at my cell phone long enough to read now "Missed call".

I had texted him while in the cab "Home. Safe and sound." He replied what appeared in a second "Good. It was a bonnie evening."

I crossed my legs sitting at the end of the bed, watching Adso bury himself under the duvet. Why has he called?

I spent about ten minutes before my fingers finally hit the Call button.

"Jamie?"

"Claire"

He said my name in a way that made my toes curl and my heart race a marathon. The soft vibrating "R" and a hint of an accent turned just Claire into something more special than I could imagine.

 I heard a quiet rustling of the sheets and his quiet breathing before I spoke. That made me wonder how he looked in bed. Did he sleep on the right or left side of the bed? Was he a light sleeper or not? What did he dream?

"Is something amiss?" I bent my neck holding the phone between my ear and shoulder.

"No. Just wanted to hear ye voice again."

"Oh." I gasped. I bit down on my lip but nonetheless could see a stupid smile on my face reflecting in the window.

"I dinna wake ye, Sassenach?" I heard him shift, getting comfortable and tried to imagine what he looked like. Was he tangled into the mass of bed sheets and blanket, sitting upright in the dim bedside light. Or maybe laying down, one hand up, elbow supporting his head, chest rising and falling with his quiet breathing.

"No. I was just getting ready for bed."

Adso's grey head popped out of the duvet. My companion looked at me tentatively and climbed up onto my knees with a loud "Meow."

"Ye have a cat?” I was sure I could hear him smile.

"Uh uh". I mumbled stroking Adso's furry back.

There was a pause for what seemed an eternity before Jamie asked quietly.

"Can I meet the wee cheetie?"

* * *

That night, Jamie and I had agreed on what he simply called "a real date" I could not sleep. I was vaguely aware of the lonely cars passing down the streets, drunk gangs of students singing and screaming in the park across the way, I could hear my neighbour's TV speaking. I fell asleep by 5 am feeling absolutely drained. I took extra shifts for the next couple of days (to clear my head from him) and felt thoroughly exhausted. So now when my phone buzzed, I startled almost kicking a cup of Earl Grey off the table.

"What's yer drink of choice, Sassenach?"

"Make it wine. Red"  I quickly typed back rushing to my fridge. (what goes with red wine? Geillis and I never had this problem mixing up takeaway of all kind with a bottle of red)

"Sorted. 7pm, right?"

"See you."

"xoxo"

My cheeks blossomed into a rosy pink while I giggled at his last text. Adso glared at me from his windowsill perch, shook his head, licked his paw twice and jumped off heading to his bowl. That brought me back to my earlier task of the day to think of the menu for tonight. I had to fight an urge just to order from my favorite Italian restaurant and pretend I prepared it all. "Christ." I hissed examining the shelves of the refrigerator. Old curry takeaway, Brie cheese which was probably out of date, some leftovers from my attempt at the pumpkin soup and a pack of milk.

Next two hours I've spent tidying up my entire flat, doing several loads of laundry, changing the bedsheets to fresh crisp ones, and hiding away my Ikea plushy teddy bear that Joe got me last birthday as a joke. The kitchen was scrubbed down until the counters shone and all fridge food remains were thrown into the rubbish bin. Lighting scented candles that lived on the coffee table in the living room, I caught myself thinking I'm trying too hard.

Jamie would step into the house of Dr. Beauchamp - organized, clean and ordered. He wouldn't see two weeks piles of laundry needed to be done, he would not open the fridge and close it deciding to call a takeaway because he'd realize I'm a terrible cook. Jamie wouldn't laugh at me for sleeping with a toy in bed, nor he wouldn't know about the existence of "snack basket" full of crisps and Gummies next to my couch. He wouldn't know who Claire really is. Or would he? Did I want him to know?

After paying for the Waitrose delivery, I occupied kitchen with an unusual enthusiasm that didn't last long. I was a nervous wreck. My attempt at pasta Carbonara came out as someone's morning sickness and was sent straight into the trash. Cursing and praying to all existing Gods at once I've reminded myself that I wanted to keep this easy and fun. So pizza was the choice. Something that was hard for me to fail I still went through the recipe for the dough with surgeon precision. Popping the tomato sauce, spinach and white chunks of mozzarella on top, I glanced at the clock. Feeling the sweat sticky fabric of my shirt clinging to my back I sent pizza tray to the oven hoping Jamie likes Margherita. With Adso purring at my legs, I rushed to the shower mentally thanking myself for washing my hair the day before. Ten minutes later, wrapped up in a towel I was welcomed with a delicious smell of pizza lingering in my kitchen and satisfied with the outcome left to the bedroom.

The sudden doorbell buzz caught me just in the middle of dressing up. Hair looked as if an explosion happened on my head, with the only moisturizer on my skin while I huffed and puffed pulling on old jeans (the ones that lost all their blue from many washings). Grabbing the first jumper that fell out of the wardrobe and dragging it over my head on the way to open a door I prayed that Jamie wouldn't be all dressed up for the occasion. (why did he come twenty-five minutes earlier?)

My heart hammered in my chest and I had to take a few deep breaths trying to appear composed. He was casual. A simple white t-shirt with a leather jacket, the same tartan scarf, and jeans that looked as old as mine.

“I’m here.” His voice sounded low and hoarse.

“You are.” I swallowed a lump in my throat that seemed to suffocate me.

We stood in an awkward silence that stretched between us as the thousands of days, hours, minutes not spent together (yet?)

“Will ye let me in, Sassenach? I’ll freeze my bollocks off out here.” He smiled, the little wrinkles covered the sides of his eyes as the sun rays. I think I heard something in my heart shift.

The cold wind reached my bare feet and I moved aside just a little, letting him through. The familiar smell of his perfume (sea salt, amber wood and Italian cost) wrapped up around me when Jamie leaned to plant a kiss on my cheeks. One on the left, one on the right. I caught myself rising on my tiptoes for him as if I were a cat arching its back into his touch. Somehow it felt much more intimate than our full-mouth-greedy-tongues pub encounter. I watched him taking his jacket off, removing his boots and exclaiming happily “There ye are, wee cheetie” when Adso popped his grey head from the corner and strolled down to Jamie sniffing his hands. I leaned my back against the door thinking that it felt right. James Fraser in my apartment, crouched down on my floor, petting my cat who’s now was purring away. For a second there I wondered how it would feel to be touched by those hands. (is it normal to be jealous of your own cat?)

"I've made pizza. I did not know what you like." I announced, popping a cheesy slice on his plate, licking the grease glistening on my fingers. If it wasn't me kissing him just a couple days ago and flirting away then now I would have been very much offended by the look he gave me. As if he was ready to eat me alive right there, right now.

His gaze softened. (has anyone else on Earth had eyes this blue?)

"It's perfect. I couldna imagine a better option for a dinner than pizza".

It felt easy with him. There were minutes we ate in companionable silence, and minutes when we spoke, "clink-clink" of wine glasses interrupting our voices.

"So, I know horses are your hobby.But you still did not tell what it is you do for a living?" I looked at him over the rim of my glass. I watched him lick his lips, setting his pizza aside.

"I have a wee business with my uncles." Jamie took a sip, his Adam's apple bobbing under the skin as he swallowed. "It's a small beer brewery. Nothing verra special but sufficient enough."

"Beer is it?" I smirked. "I would think a Scot like you should be involved in the whisky business."

He grinned, glass in his hand, cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink.

"Well, I'm verra good at drinking it, no making."

When our dinner was demolished and plates covered only in crumbles and crusts (on my plate), I stood up bringing them over to the sink. My hands were almost elbow deep into the soapy water when Jamie had asked something that made my knees shake just for a moment.

"How come such lass as ye not married, let alone single?"

A heavy silence fell down, erasing our previous banter. Sensing my discomfort he added immediately "Claire, I dinna mean to be noisy". But I had told him anyway.

* * *

"But the main thing was that he had said I wasn't a woman if I could not give him a child. I was just an empty shell of female appearance, there was no much use to me." I inhaled deeply, feeling his eyes on my back when I finally finished. "Truthfully, I don't even know if I am really barren. I don't know who's at fault. Frank never went for a test and I...Well, I could not make myself do it afterwards."

I braced my hands on the opposite sides of the sink trying to compose myself. The swell of tears started to gather in my eyelashes threatening to escape.

"Sassenach."

I heard his quiet steps behind me and I shuddered a sigh thinking how did this evening (a promise of a good sex) turned into something that vaguely reminded me of a soap opera on TV that my neighbor Mrs.Baird watched.

I felt his fingers gently squeezing my shoulder.

"It doesna matter anymore."

"No." I sniffed. "It doesn't."

I turned to him then to be trapped once again by the studying gaze of his blue eyes which now were the reminiscent of storms at sea that promise clear skies. His long fingers brushed away loose curls off my face.

"Do ye need to be alone? Ye want me to go?" He asked softly, hands wrapping around my waist.

"No" I shook my head in protest, suddenly terrified he'd leave. " I don't want you to go."

He nodded.

"I willna. I promise."

On its own accord my forehead dropped against his chest and a sigh of contentment (I did not know was there) escaped my throat. We stood there in each other's embrace long enough for Adso to jump up on the counter to peek at Jamie and I with clear "What are you up to, hoomans?" written on its fluffy face.

"Netflix and chill?" I sniffed, the sound muffled by Jamie's t-shirt. He gave me a lopsided smile when I lifted my head.

"Ye ken what that means, right?"

"I do." I laughed rubbing my eyes, smudged mascara staining my hand.

We indeed watched Netflix. Sitting on a modest distance of each other, under the same plushy throw, still close for our fingers to touch. I was too aware of his presence and closeness that my back started to ache approximately 15 minutes after I sat straight up, afraid to move. But then the wine we drank started to kick in, my body (and mind) relaxing and by thirty minutes into the movie (The Notting Hill I'd made him watch), I found myself in the kingdom of Jamie's warmth, our thighs and hips pressed to one another, his hand wrapped up around my shoulder and my head rested just above his breastbone where I could hear his steady heartbeat. His chin rested on the crown of my head and I could feel his lips slightly brushing above but not kissing just yet. I did not know when and how I fell asleep. Lulled by Jamie's soothing presence I must have dozed off sometime after the credits rolled, last night shifts catching up with me.

I roused to a touch that faintly reminded me the butterflies' wings scattered across my skin. My eyes fluttered open when I could feel Jamie’s warm breath making my skin tingle.

The room was dark, dipped into the heavy night shadows with only thin moonlight sketching a path along the carpet. I had no idea how long I slept only to find myself still on the couch, Jamie’s smile lingering above me. I smiled back feeling his fingers softly caressing the sliver of skin between my jeans and sweater. My back arched instinctively to his touch. He leaned down to press his lips upon mine. It was a lazy kiss, unhurried in the way our mouths melted together, the way he tasted the fullness of my lower lip, the way our tongues sought permission and their slow dance continuing until we both were breathless.

Jamie was looking at me as if he'd seen me for the first time. I could see his eyes move, something faintly reminding me of a tenderness floating at the bottom.

"What?" My lips moved slowly, still numbed by his taste. I touched his cheekbone to see if it feels right for me, for him to do so. How many times would I repeat this simple move? Jamie's fingers had found my hand, turning it palm up.

"I think ye are beautiful, Claire. Verra." His thumb softly outlined my lifeline before he brought my hand up planting a kiss just in the center of it. That simple gesture made me surrender, undid me in fact. I could feel the hot bubbling sensation starting somewhere in my toes rising all the way up to my thighs, my belly, crawling inside my breasts and wrapping around my heart, taking a peek under my skin as if checking is it a suitable place to be here forever?

I dragged my lips over his clavicle that slightly stood out above the collar of his t-shirt, leaving a moist trail of my breath. He smelled earthy, slightly salty with a mix of his cologne. Jamie's breath was shallow and I shifted feeling my arousal build between my thighs. My own abilities to inhale and exhale properly failed me when his fingers dragged the woolen fabric of my sweater up up up until there was nothing to hide. I jerked involuntarily as his auburn curls tickling my skin when his mouth closed over the peak of the left breast. It seemed like a century passed by instead of minutes as his lips moved from one breast to another.

His hand splayed flat on my stomach drawing patterns up and down making me almost beg him to continue just a bit down where I wanted him to be. But before I gathered enough courage to do that his fingers slid under the waistband of my jeans, testing, teasing.

“Jamie” I pleaded with the voice that didn’t sound like my own.

“Do ye want me to stop ?” He asked softly kissing the corner of my mouth.

I did not know if “No” actually left my mouth, but only managed to cling to him in desperate anticipation of my own release. Sensing this, he seemed to slow down on purpose. His mouth hovered above mine, our breaths mixing up as he slipped his hand out (me whimpering in protest and him chuckling, the cocky bastard) to unzip the unnecessary piece of clothing. I raised my hips just enough for Jamie to pull them down to my knees. I was becoming lost in him, forgetting how to breathe. Needing to feel him, I reached for the hem of his t-shirt seeking access to his skin. He ignited a hunger in me, I needed to see him, feel the realness and closeness of him, to be in this moment for my life to have a meaning. Even if it meant just mere minutes.

Pulling the cotton fabric over his head my fingers traced the line of veins that ran along his arm until found where I had mended his flesh with the stitches I had placed. I leaned my head to kiss the spot where the scar would make its presence known. Jamie’s breath hitched and within seconds my lips were trapped by his once again. When we parted with a wet pop his fingers traveled south one more time pushing the grey cotton triangle between my thighs aside. My blood was rushing hot, heart hammering hard against my breastbone. So loud that I thought Jamie could hear. The promising warmth of his fingers drew a map on my inner thighs. Slowly tortuously from one to the other, traveling up to brush over my navel making me pant, and slippery with need.

“I want you inside me” I had whispered then, dragging my tongue over the stubble on his jaw.

“No, a nighean.” He sounded hoarse but dreamily sweet. “I want to watch ye first”.

If it was possible to become undone just from his words, it would have been then. His fingers drew another path, coming home, where I felt hot and greedy for him. I mewled, my hips rising into his touch, nails digging into his shoulders. I kept my eyes shut, fingers leaving marks on his skin, as he drove me down the road of pure sensation. Where my walls had crumbled and fallen down, where he had made me cry out God's name in vain. Where my trembling hands had managed to unbuckle his belt and in a swift motion pull his jeans down, Jamie's feet trapped in them, laughing hard. His moan that sounded more like a hiss when I ran my palm at the length of him, tagging his white boxers off. When all the sharp fences alongside my soul started to crouch down and fade away as our bodies joined. I gasped feeling the saltiness of tears rising up from my belly all the way to my throat because this felt like coming home, suddenly he felt like home. When the lonely tear had rolled down my cheek, into the hollow of my neck, to the fields of my curls (I did not know where it came from) I heard him whisper "mo ghraidh". It had no meaning for me but the way Jamie's lips imprinted those words into the column of my neck destroyed the last barricades I had built over my soft and sensitive, scarred heart.

After a time we were both gasping for air as fish landed on the shore his solid body pinning me down on the cushions. I whispered, "Jamie, you're crushing me".

He hummed a quiet apology. With eyes still veiled by an overtaking orgasm, he rolled off me and gathered me closer to him. His hands wrapped up around my waist, back pressed to his chest. I thought I heard him murmur something into my hair (that faintly sounded as ancient Gàidhlig) before after-sex slumber had taken us both to its realm.

* * *

The nagging ache in my lower back that I usually had from falling asleep on the couch (after a particularly hard shift at the hospital) was something that woke me up. I thought I was suffocating from the realness of the dream I had but it was just Adso who curled like a cinnamon bun on top of my chest.

I was alone. (not that I was really surprised)

But somewhere deep inside I felt a painful sting of bitterness to find myself in the reality of lonely-morning-post-one-night-stand. I reached for my phone with a stupid hope that maybe Jamie had texted me. Nothing.

"Looks like we are back to normal, baby" I sighed scratching Adso behind the ears.

The Edinburgh's skies were gloomy, heavy with a promise of rain. I stared into the window but did not really see anything behind it. The soft knock took me out of my stupor.

"I used the last of yer shampoo.I figured ye wouldna mind." Jamie stood in the doorway, his hair damp from the shower, now two shades darker, like autumn leaves.

My mouth dropped open as I just watched him casually stroll and make himself comfortable in the chair.

"And, Christ, Sassenach, but yer cat does fart like a freakin' raccoon."

"Does it?" I whispered.

[holidaywishes]

i think i might love you

   Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: can you do something with t segs about him being best friends with a small shy nerdy, not your typical blonde hair bombshell type girl and him realizing he’s in love with her💗          

  Warning: fluff, maybe some swearing

  masterlist

  “Why are you so awful at this?!” you yelled to Tyler while the two of you played NHL 19, “isn’t this like your thing?”

  “No, actually, it’s not!” he laughed, “they’re very different things. I’m not on the ice!”

  “Whatever, you still suck”

  “Maybe I’m just letting you win...”

  “Yeah right!” you scoffed as you scored another goal before celebrating, “HA! BOOM! I win. I always win! What do I get this time?”

  “Who said you get anything?” he said as he got up to walk into the kitchen

  “We made a bet, sourpuss,” you followed Tyler into the kitchen, “so...?”

  “I’ll pay for your dinner” he said, rolling his eyes dramatically

  “Wow, what a treat” you teased and pushed him out of the way so you could grab a glass from his cabinet.

  “You’re damn right it’s a treat” he returned

  “How about something a little more... out of the ordinary...” Tyler gave you a confused glare and you waited in silence for him to say something, “it’s not like you’ve never paid for my dinner before. If all I get for beating your ass is a lousy dinner than I’m gonna have to stop wasting my time around here”

  “What is it you want then?” he asked curiously

  “Hmm.. well there’s a world of possibilities Seguin,” you mused, “how about... helicopter tour? concert in Vegas? introduce me to Captain America?”

  “I met Chris Evans once, we’re not exactly buddy buddy...”

  “Call in a favour”

  “Sorry can’t do that”

  “Okay.. well.. I don’t know.. OH WAIT! Take me to a Pens game!”

  “A Pens game? why?”

  “Uhm to watch them win... duh”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be cheering for me? and my team?”

  “Yeah sure.. only when you’re playing. But I grew up watching Pittsburgh,” you pouted and whined in your best baby voice, “please, Ty...”

  “Ugh fine,” he groaned, “grab the schedule”

  “YES!” you yelled, running to your bag to grab the pocket season schedule your Mom got you in October, “okay so there’s one this weekend it looks like... and it’s perfect because you’re not playing!”

  “You know I still have practice though...” he laughed and you smiled

  “Not this day you don’t!”

  “Fine. I guess I’ll see you in Pittsburgh”

  “See you in Pittsburgh!” you hopped past him back toward the couch, a big grin still plastered on your face. You pushed your oversized, butterfly shaped glasses up the bridge of your nose before grabbing the controller and continuing the play as Tyler sat down next yo you; you could feel his gaze on you, so you chirped him, “take a picture, it’ll last longer”

  “You’re really using that gem?”

  “You’re really gonna sit there and pretend like you’re not staring at me?”

  “I wasn’t staring...”

  “Mhm..” you hummed before pausing the game, “what?”

  “What do you mean?” he said, dumbfounded, “I wasn’t staring... I just.. I don’t get it...”

  “Oh god.. what does that mean?”

  “Why did you go to school in New York?” he said, gesturing to your Columbia sweatshirt, “I mean why couldn’t you just stay in Toronto...?”

  “Uhm, maybe because I got a scholarship to one of the top ranked Universities in the world, you ass,” you teased, “and it’s New York City. I wasn’t going to pass that up”

  “But I never saw you”

  “That has nothing to do with Columbia. That has to do with you and Boston and then Dallas. Don’t blame it on me...”

  “I’m not blaming,” he defended, “I’m just saying. Before Boston, we did everything together and then we just kinda... didn’t”

  “We still got together Ty...” you brought your legs up onto the couch, “look, I’m here now. We’re hanging out... we’re going to a hockey game on Saturday. We’re still friends, do you not think we’re friends anymore?”

  “What? no of course not! Don’t panic,” he tried, “I just kinda miss you sometimes...”

  “Awww!” you cooed, pushing his shoulder teasingly, “I miss you too, Tyler.” You leaned in to give him a tight hug because it seemed like he needed it, but you needed it just as much as he did; you pulled him a little closer and caught the scent on his hair, breathing it in before you pulled away slowly. Your eyes caught his for just a second and you tried to hide the way your breathing increased by moving back on the couch -- further away from Tyler, when you heard him call for the dogs.

  “Marsh, Cash, Gerry,” he whistled, “where are you guys?” With that the three labs came rushing to the couch, jumping up instantly and licking your faces frantically.

  “My god, you’d think they hadn’t seen us in weeks...” you laughed and tried to move your face away from the dogs. Catching Tyler staring at you one last time before you cleared you throat and focused your eyes back on the brightly lit screen.

Tyler’s P.O.V

  Why did she seem so new to you? You had known her for so long and she had always just been... (Y/N)... So why was she suddenly making you nervous? You watched her as the dogs licked her face before she trained her eyes on the screen. She caught your eyes once but whipped back to the T.V. and didn’t look at you for the majority of the night until she finally got up to go to bed.

  “So you’re gonna sleep on the couch yeah?” she smiled at you and you felt a small wave of heat flood your cheeks

  “What? why would I do that?”

  “Because I’m taking your bed. It’s the comfiest in the house so...”

  “Ahh no,” you laughed, “who said you could take my bed?”

  “Me!” she giggled as you stood up, noticing her prepare to run to your room

  “I don’t think so” you approached her slowly, eyes narrowing

  “Tyler...”

  “(Y/N)...” she stood in front of you, playing with the hem of her Columbia sweatshirt, watching how you moved to decide what her next step would be. When you lunged forward to grab her, she dodged your hand and let out a squeal; something you normally would find annoying but for some reason, you thought it was adorable. You smiled and continued to chase her through your house, letting her run ahead of you to let her think she had the upper hand before you made two large strides and wrapped your arm around her stomach and carried her through the hallway.

  “See, your problem is that you get too cocky” you laughed

  “TYLER!” she yelled, squirming under your grip, her glasses falling to the floor, “let me go!” You didn’t listen, instead you carried her to the guest room and threw her onto the mattress abruptly, staring at her briefly before walking out of the room. When you came back she had a confused look on her face which you attributed to the fact that she probably couldn’t see, so you walked over to the bed and slid her glasses on her face

  “I think you dropped these...” you said lowly as her brilliant (Y/E/C) eyes hypnotized you as they danced between yours

  “You mean you knocked them off me” she finally said before sitting up to adjust her position.

  “Well I should let you get some sleep...” you muttered before she could speak, leaving her mouth to gape as you walked away

  “Okay...” she whispered, confusion clearly present in her voice. You started to walk to your bedroom, shaking your head to clear out whatever had just happened but it was still there; you leaned up against the wall and took a second to look back at everything but all you saw was her. All you heard was her. All you smelled was her. Now, all you wanted was her.

  What the hell was that? You thought to yourself. It couldn’t have just been you that noticed the weirdness. This wasn’t unusual for you and Ty, to play wrestle like this but there was something different tonight. Some kind of tension that had never been there before and it freaked you out; you couldn’t help think that something was wrong. Sitting against the pillows for 20 minutes contemplating what it all meant only made it worse, so you decided to confront him about it.

  “Tyler...?” you whispered to him after opening his door but he didn’t answer, “Ty, you awake?” When he still didn’t answer, you sighed and closed the door before heading back to the guest room. When you woke up the next morning, you prepared yourself for just as awkward of a situation as last night but you were thankful when everything seemed to be back to normal

  “Morning sleepy head!” Tyler greeted as you came into the kitchen

  “Morning dork” you teased, before lifting your arms above your head in a big stretch

  “So, I thought we’d go meet Chubbs for lunch” he said as you sat down at the kitchen table

  “Sounds good to me..” you said, still half-asleep, “hey, can we talk about last night?”

  “Hmm? What about last night?” he asked, his back to you

  “Ty, can you just come here,” you said, “sit down and talk to me...” He turned around and slowly walked toward you, sitting down in front of you.

  “What’s up?”

  “What happened last night? Why were you acting so strange?”

  “I wasn’t acting strange...” he shrugged, “I don’t know what you mean. We were doing what we always do...”

  “Yeah but something was... different,” you tried, “wasn’t it?”

  “I don’t think so...” You could tell that he wasn’t going to address it, whatever it was, so you ended the conversation and went on with the morning; running a few errands before you and Tyler left to meet Jamie for lunch. It felt like it had been ages since you had seen Jamie and you were excited to hear what was going on with him and whether or not he’d fallen in love yet. But the ride to the restaurant took much longer than you anticipated, and it was almost completely silent, making you irritated by the time you got there. You looked over at Tyler a few times, waiting for him to say or do something but he just stared out the windshield at the road in silence.

  “Okay,” you finally said to break the silence, “what the fuck is going on?!”

  “What?” he questioned

  “Tyler, why are you not talking to me? Or teasing me? Or singing to dumb rap songs on the radio to drive me insane? Why are we just sitting in uncomfortable silence?”

  “I didn’t know it was an uncomfortable silence...”

  “Tyler!!”

  “What? It’s not like you said anything either!”

  “Fair but still. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing...”

  “You’re lying to me!!” you yelled, a small laugh on the statement

  “No I’m not. Nothing is wrong. I promise. Look we’re here...”

  “This isn’t over, Seguin,” you said pointing your finger at him before getting out of the car, following him with your eyes as he walked in front of the car to meet you at the sidewalk, “not by a long shot...”

Tyler’s P.O.V.

  “Hey Jamie!!” (Y/N) greeted when she saw him, wrapping her arms around his waist to give him a tight squeeze

  “There she is! The short little one I like so much!” he teased, hugging her close

  “Hey bud” you greeted him with a nod and a quick high five, noticing (Y/N) roll her eyes

  “Ty...” Jamie joked in a serious tone, “alright so what’s going on with you (Y/N)?”

  “Nothing really.. school’s good. Work’s... a lot. I’ve got this week to do absolutely nothing which is why I’m here...” (Y/N) said, her laugh ringing through the air, finding its way into your ear like a song you wanted to play on repeat

  “Sounds like you came here at the perfect time” Jamie smiled at her

  “She’s also forcing me to go to a Pens game this weekend...” you added, raising your eyebrows

  “We’re playing the Pens like next week...” Jamie asked confused

  “Ah yes, but you’re not this weekend. In fact you’re not playing at all...” (Y/N) answered

  “It’s one game, I figured I’d let her have it,” you joked, “better to let her win than argue about something like this...” You and Jamie laughed while (Y/N) scrunched her nose at the two of you. The rest of lunch went by about the way that you figured it would, nothing out of the ordinary, until (Y/N) left the table and Jamie started asking questions

  “What’s going on here?” he started

  “We’re having lunch, Chubbs...” you joked

  “I mean with you and (Y/N). I see the way you’re looking at her. The way you blush whenever she laughs, the way you scoot closer to her forcing your arms to touch. I saw you watch her get up... and walk away...”

  “Stop it”

  “Seggy come on, tell me”

  “Nothing is happening. Nothing is going on. She’s still (Y/N), we’re still friends. Best Friends,” you emphasized, “but --”

  “But...” Jamie said with a big grin on his face, leaving you to roll your eyes at him

  “But maybe there’s something there. At least on my end. She doesn’t feel that way...”

  “Why don’t you ask her?”

  “So I can embarrass myself? Or get rejected and lose my friendship? No thanks”

  “Oh please,” he huffed, “you’re not gonna get rejected. If I know anything, it’s that that girl has been in love with you for as long as you’ve known each other but you’ve been too busy with the Blondes of Dallas to pay attention”

  “She’s not in love with me...” you whispered, defeated, “and she’s blonde too”

  “She’s not Texas Blonde. She’s Girl-Next-Door Blonde,” he started and you gave him a confused look before he could continue, “her hair is like spun gold. The Texas Blondes are bottled and bleached. And yes, she is in love with you, if you’d taken a second to pay attention...”

  “Chubbs... be serious okay. Maybe you’re like projecting or whatever. Maybe you’re in love with her and that’s why you’re talking about her hair that’s ‘spun like gold’” you teased just as (Y/N) came back to the table and you tried to switch the conversation, “I think I’m right... and you’re very very wrong”

  “Oooh what’s Tyler wrong about?” (Y/N) chimed in, making Jamie laugh

  “HEY! I said I was right and he was wrong”

  “Yes, which means that he’s probably right and you’re definitely wrong”

  “She was obviously listening to our conversation because she knows” Jamie said knowingly, tilting his glass to her

  “She’s wrong. You’re wrong” you said to the both of them

  “I’m bored,” (Y/N) said abruptly, “let’s go find something to do. Head to Main Street or Bishop...? Or go see a movie. I can’t sit at this table all day, Ty, I need to do... something. Jamie?”

  “I can’t, sorry kid,” he replied and she tilted her head at him, “I gotta go meet Katie...”

  “Fine. Tell her I say hi...” she said, standing up to give Jamie a hug goodbye

  “Will do” he said, wrapping her in a tight hug and nodding to you; trying to get you to admit your feelings and you rolled your eyes

  “Okay, into the car we go” you joked

  “What? No let’s just walk. Where are you planning to take me?” she laughed

  “I thought we were going to Bishop?”

  “Yeah, which isn’t far. We can just walk,” she glanced up at you, “or are you getting lazy?”

  “Fine, we’ll walk,” you agreed, scowling at her once before saying goodbye to Jamie, “later Chubbs”

  “Tell her” he whispered to you when (Y/N) was out of earshot and you shot him a glare. When you turned the corner, you saw her waiting for you and you saw what Jamie was talking about. The sun hit (Y/N) in such a way that her hair looked like a halo around her, making her glow as her long strands fell across her shoulder. Her porcelain skin shimmering in the light and the smile that she gave you when she finally saw you only seemed to make everything brighter.

  “Took you long enough” she teased, bringing you back to her

  “Nah nah nah, you ran out of the restaurant, I wasn’t slow”

  “Whatever, slowpoke, let’s go...” She turned to walk away, the fabric of her skirt effortlessly dancing in the wind and you ran toward her, draping your arm over her shoulder when you reached her, “well look who just got a sudden burst of energy!” She giggled, looking up at you and your knees went weak, making you take your arm away from her.

  “So, what are we doing?” you cleared your throat and looked ahead, “playing some kind of game?”

  “What?” she said, still looking up at you, confusion covering her features

  “You know, like normal,” you replied, “are we pretending to be injured to see who will help us? Pretending that we’re being chased by the cops to freak some people out? Pretending to be a couple, desperately in love, on their way to a chapel on the other side of the city?“ You laughed awkwardly at your last words, looking down at her and seeing her eyes grow wide before she looked ahead of her

  “Uhm,” she hesitated, “I don’t know.. what do you think?”

  “We haven’t done the couple thing in a while...” you said, putting your hands in your pockets as you continued to walk

  “That’s true but it’s always a little more entertaining to run from the cops”

  “Yeah but it’s not really believable...”

  “Neither is us being a couple,” she said under her breath and you stopped walking, “Ty?”

  “Why isn’t it believable?”

  “What?”

  “Us being a couple. Why isn’t it believable?”

  “Because it’s not...” she moved toward you, “I’m not really your type and people notice that”

  “How do they know what my type is?!”

  “Why are you getting so upset? It’s just a game,” she said defensively, “and a game only we know we’re playing...”

  “It doesn’t have to be a game...” you whispered, rubbing your neck sheepishly as you tried to avoid her gaze; knowing that her eyes would ruin any anger bumbling inside of you

  “What does that mean?” she said gently, lifting her hand to rest it on your forearm and you finally looked at her; heartbeat in your ears, breathing uncontrolled and everything in you telling you just to kiss her

  “Do you want it to mean something?” was all you said, forcing her to step back and no words escaped her lips, the two of you standing across from each other in silence.

  You had no idea what to do now. He had been back and forth between normal and odd since last night and now this. Do you want it to mean something? No. Maybe. Why would it even mean something? You weren’t the girl he wanted, you were just something available and your friendship with him was more important than what his lips would feel like against yours. You stood in front of him, eyes trained on his, and waited for him to say something, to clear up his question, but he never did, so you turned on your heels and darted up the pathway.

  “(Y/N)... Wait!” he called after you and you tried to escape him, your cheeks still flustered while your mind raced, “Stop!” You turned sharply, making him run into you

  “OW..” the two of you said at the same time as you rubbed your head

  “What are you doing?” you asked, raising your voice unintentionally

  “You’re the one who stopped!”

  “Not that,” you sighed, “why are you messing with my head?”

  “Messing with your head? I’m not..”

  “You are! What am I supposed to say to ‘do you want it to mean something?’ what am I supposed to think is happening when you’re fine one second and the next you won’t look at me?”

  “I don’t know!”

  “Then why can’t you just act like you?!”

  “(Y/N)...”

  “What Tyler?”

  “Maybe I want us to be more than friends...”

  “No you don’t...” You looked at him as a million thoughts ran through your head. You met Tyler when you were five years old and were immediately charmed by him. The way he smiled, the way his eyes were like honey in the sunlight, the way he could make you laugh at absolutely everything. As you got older, you realized your feelings were more romantic than his probably were and, by the time you were 13, you were hopelessly in love with him. While he worked to become the Hockey Superstar that the world knew, you worked toward Columbia University because you knew that the only way to escape your feelings was to get away from him for a bit. It didn’t matter though. You were still there for his first NHL game in Boston surrounded by his family. Your heart still fluttered every time he smiled -- at you or anyone else. But he was always with someone. Some girl who looked nothing like you, but exactly like the rest, and you realized that you’d never be the girl he wanted. He’d never see you the way you wanted him to. So, you tried to let him go but he never let you go too far. When you realized you had been standing in front of him without saying a word for too long, you tried to mutter something to express how you were feeling, “I don’t...”

  “You don’t want us to be more than friends?” he repeated

  “I never said that...”

  “What do you want then?”

  “I want us to be friends... like we always have,” you answered, “I don’t want to ruin that or lose it Tyler. I’m not this Blonde Bombshell type that’s all over Dallas. Sooner or later, you’d realize that and move on; friendships don’t survive that, T”

  “That wouldn’t happen...”

  “You don’t know that”

  “No, actually I do,” he said suddenly, leaving you standing there speechless for a while, waiting for him to continue, “I know what would happen. I know how our relationship would be. I would wake up to the smell of your coconut conditioner and watch as you slowly opened your eyes, looking up at me and smiling that smile that makes me melt. We’d walk through Uptown Dallas and Downtown Dallas and we’d become everyone’s favourite couple because even the smallest kisses between us would show everyone how we feel for each other. I would protect you from ever being in pain, you’d comfort me when I needed it after a loss. I can picture us, holding hands and walking through this park, mocking each other like we always do. I can see us in Paris or Greece or Vegas, sharing kisses at all your favourite spots. I can see you walking the stage when you graduate Columbia with me hollering for you from the stands. I can see you doing the same during the playoffs. I can see all of this. Our friendship wouldn’t change, it would be the same...”

  “Tyler, that’s...” you tried to think of the words that would save your heart, “that sounds so amazing. But it doesn’t sound like us. We’re not a couple. We’ve never been a couple. We’re jus--”

  “I think I’m in love with you” he blurted out, interrupting you and making the people around you stare.

  “You’re what?”

  “I think I might love you, that I might be in love with you...”

  “No..”

  “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t wait until the next moment I get to see you again. Your voice is permanently ingrained in my mind and your smile is the best part of my day. I don’t know who I’d be without you and I don’t want to find out because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” Your eyes danced between his as your mouth gaped open; you had no words. This was all you had wanted for so long but it felt like a dream and you were having a hard time believing it, “can you say something?”

  “I.. I’ve been in love with you from the second I met you...” you noticed a smile creep on his face, but your eyebrows had unfurrowed, “I don’t want to get hurt, Tyler.” He stepped close to you, almost completely closing the gap between the two of you as onlookers stayed to see how it would end

  “The last thing I want to do is hurt you” he said, sweeping his thumb across your cheek

  “You promise?”

  “I’ll bet the season on it,” he smiled, continuing to close the gap and you smiled back up at him, “there it is. The best part of my day.” He smiled and pulled you up to capture your lips in a kiss you’d never forget as the crowd of people around you began to applaud and cheer, leaving you to blush at the sudden realization that you were kissing in public.

  “Maybe we should do this somewhere else” you whispered

  “Maybe you’re right” he agreed, swinging his arm over your shoulder and kissing the top of your head as the two of you went on your way.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 11th April 2019

- I love Maxine episodes so much. No one is surprised by that at this point but they always work so well and have such nice flow and fit in a lot of the things that I like. When does she get to write every episode?!

- even from the start just getting Eric and David standing outside the B&B while all the ornathologists were running around. That was fun and felt like the old days with random ridiculous things going on in the village. And I loved Bob and Dan running around in their camo trying to take a picture of the bird and getting the wrong one and all the other villagers just being amused. That’s a plot that we would not have gotten this time last year and I’m really happy that kind of stuff is making a comeback because it’s just good lighthearted fun and it’s something that works great with those characters too.

- the Kim/vets stuff was great too. I am so thrilled to see a return to the work related stories. I feel like part of the reason there were so many dumb cheating plots and so many heavy stories in the past couple years, is because a lot of the work drama just got cut out and they had to fill time in other ways. But aside from just the general, I just really like this vets story now that Kim is involved and that’s not something I thought would happen. But her and Rhona together is so good. It brings her down to earth even if she is still scheming. And there’s minimal Graham, which is excellent. I also love that they’re going to continue to build on this relationship by having her get Rhona to help with Jamie, which is a great idea. I’m so happy they’ve managed to turn Kim around now that the Joe Plot is...over?!?

- And Paddy and Vanessa who we can sometimes get annoyed with when they’re in their respective relationships, work so well together in this type of story. I’m so happy Vanessa was finally allowed to go back to work so we could have this content again. That suspension was the worst decision ever. I even loved them both not wanting to tell Chas and Charity about the deal. This kind of content is what will make those relationships work better too because they have each other to bounce this kind of stuff off of. A couple months ago, Paddy and Vanessa sharing a scene was so weird because it had been so long and now it finally feels like it’s supposed to and I’m so glad.

- the Vic/Ellis, Tracy/Billy stuff was also a lot of fun today. I love that Tracy and Billy figured out what Vic was up to straight away and then locked them in but also spent the whole day together anyway so maybe they’ll work on things between them too. Things were thawing anyway. She got a drink with him. And Vic and Ellis singing Cher and drinking champagne together was perfect. They got together so weirdly and we didn’t even realize they’d become anything more so I’m sort of glad they broke up and now we get to see a little of them getting back on the same page. Those early stages are really important for me to enjoy a couple so I’m glad we’re getting that. I just fear for the Big Night Out stuff but for now it’s all lovely and sweet.

- I thought the Liv/Jacob/Maya stuff tonight was great. I’m soooo glad that Jacob said no and broke up with her just so she didn’t have to have sex with him and do something she didn’t want to do even if I was still heartbroken for her.

- I’m so happy Gabby was back with her this week too. I love their friendship and it was so nice seeing her be so supportive with Liv. That hug she gave her was so important too. I adore them when they’re getting along.

- with regards to the ace stuff. I do think it’s kind of time for her to use the word. They really did miss their opportunity when she said she was doing internet research. It’s a bit frustrating because, we all get it and it’s very clear that they did their research because she is saying all the right things. Like the part about ‘sometimes people like me just do it anyway for their partners’ or some variation of that. I just wish they’d stop having her talk around it even if everything she says does ring very true. I still hope she gets to say the word one day.

- that said, my heart broke when she said that she didn’t know how someone was ever going to want someone like her because I feel that so much. And again, I loved that Gabby was there to give her a hug. She needed that and the encouraging words and I’m glad she got them.

- I was also very happy to get to see both Robert and Aaron be there for her tonight. Thank you Maxine. I liked that, you know, we got typical Aaron wanting to kill Jacob and Liv having to talk him down. I loved Robert putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him in his chair. I of course adored the entire conversation with Robert on the bench. Definitely long overdue. I also can imagine them finding the condoms and deciding Robert may be the best one to go have that chat just because Aaron a) doesn’t always do well with that and b) he might get too worked up. In any case, I love Robert and Liv’s relationship and I’m so glad that Maxine loves it too so we get this kind of content. He was so sweet with her and understanding and calm but also so encouraging, telling her she’s brilliant as she is. Plus, I love the added bits of humor in there with the ‘boys are rubbish’ line and the ‘you’re telling me not to get revenge?’ line. Perfection.

- and I liked that that wasn’t it either. I loved that we got Aaron checking in with Robert after the chat and Robert telling him not to worry. I loved that Liv came downstairs and reiterated that nothing happened and that she was okay. They were such good family scenes, the kind we rarely get and the three of them do work well together when given the chance.

- and of course, the surrogacy stuff. There were definitely a few things that could have used more on screen discussion but I was relatively satisfied by what Maxine did manage to get in there within allotted screen time.

- I was happy Aaron questioned Robert’s sudden decision to give him a chance to explain. They were always going to have to do it in the UK for logistics purposes anyway, so I don’t mind his change of heart. I also liked that when he said he didn’t want to make Aaron wait, that Aaron challenged him on that too so he could explain. I don’t know that every writer would do that. I mean, I still wish they would address Aaron’s Seb related issues/motivation. It will forever drive me crazy if they never go back to it and I don’t think they will now but I guess I’ll have to get over it. I at least like that they addressed some of the Robert concerns.

- I also just liked seeing them so excited to be on the same page again and to feel positive after the meeting. Plus, Aaron’s cute little clothing crisis before hand was amazing and I loved Robert telling him he looked great. Also I liked that they managed to get both of their color codes in today. Red and blue earlier and then they changed into their blue and black. Well done.

- even though they’re talking about money still, I like that they’ve moved forward a bit in the process now. We’re no longer stuck completely at square one and that is very needed. Even if this surrogate doesn’t work out, at least they’re at a new stage now.

- I also loved having Liv involved and interested in what was going on and especially that she did it in that sarcastic way. They really felt like a family tonight and it made me very happy.

- with regards to the ‘swimmers’, haha, I do wish they’d had that conversation on screen but I’m glad that they at least said that they’d had a conversation and didn’t just announce that they were going to use Aaron sperm or something. And I know there’s a portion of the fandom that has a massive problem with all of this but like...I don’t think that the characters at least did it in a particularly offensive sort of way. Especially since Maxine consciously had Aaron correct himself and say ‘well it’ll be both of ours obviously’. Plus, I always love Aaron not being able to talk about that sort of thing and his ever popular awkward hand gestures. I love that that’s just his consistent thing. Haha

- and of course the sofa cuddling and giggling at the movie. I’ve waiting ages for them to lay on the sofa like that and I’m so glad it finally happened. Plus the dialogue, talking about their future kid. Again, I loved the family banter with Liv saying Seb was going to be an evil genius and Robert correcting her and saying ‘handsome genius’ was perfect. And of course the comment about Aaron’s eyes. We all use Robert loving Aaron’s eyes so much in fan fic so it was great to get that little moment. And Aaron craning his neck to look up at Robert was lovely. Good content. I am pleased.

- as for the blackmailing. It makes a lot of sense that it was Liv that caught them and that it’s her that’s blackmailing Maya. With anyone else, I feel like it wouldn’t make sense that they would tell but since Liv has been involved this whole time, Maya is able to use that and her alcohol problems to manipulate David to preemptively discredit her and then threaten her with. But I also really liked that Liv brought up Gordon. Yay relevant character history! It’s good that she can take that knowledge and apply it to this situation and see through Maya. But it’s also such a messy situation since Liv was with Jacob and there’s so many hurt feelings on top of everything else. It makes a tough situation even tougher so it all does still feel relatively believable. At least within the context of a soap. And as much as I wouldn’t want robron using pedophile blackmail money to fund their surrogacy, I sort of like that Liv even went there because well...she’s learned from the best living with her brothers. Haha. But yeah...it’s all a mess and I can’t wait for it all to come out so all these kids can start getting help.

- all in all, these were great episodes and again I shall profess my love for Maxine Alderton. She is perfect.

- I hope these thoughts met your expectations @memorieswarm haha

[marshmallow-phd]

Freedom on the Wind

Genre: Bad Boy!AU, Biker!AU

Pair: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You wanted nothing to with him. He was the kind of boy you stayed away from. But you know what they say about the rules of attraction. How could anyone resist?

Moodboard by the oh-so-wonderful @xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme

**

Books were your life. If there was a story line out there, you’d read it. Ever since you were little, you devoured words like a prisoner getting his first meal after days of starvation. Any genre, any level, any author, you didn’t care. You simply loved getting lost in a world that was different from your own, even if it was only subtly altered.

While you didn’t usually care what the plot of a book was as long as it attracted and kept your attention, there was one trope that you avoided like the plague: The bad boy cliché. Of course, typically you didn’t mind clichés. 

An unbalanced couple where one was rich and the other poor? Sure. Love triangles? Your guilty pleasure. Long lost parent? You’d eat it right up.

But those stupid bad-boy-good-girl romance just grated on your nerves. Maybe it was because you were a “goody-two-shoes” (a phrase that you never quite understood) yourself. Your toes always stayed in line and breaking the rules meant you were breaking out in a cold sweat. So why would someone like you ever consider an attraction to the type of boy who wore leather jackets, gave zero consideration for other people, cursed, and rode around on a loud, obnoxious two-wheeled motorized vehicle that could get them killed?

The answer had always eluded you. A real answer, that is. Everyone always chalked it up to “there’s a bit of rebellion inside us all”.

Yeah, right.

That did not exist for you. And that was okay. So you didn’t have any fun stories to tell of when you were in high school that consisted of sneaking out, skipping class, or underage drinking. You still enjoyed your life. The moments you enjoyed experiencing were just quieter, simpler. The kind of moments that other people tended to ignore or forget.

This was one of those moments. You were just wandering through the bookstore, taking your time to shop around for anything that might possibly jump out at you. There was no rush and no need to find a specific something. You’d let the right one take hold of your attention and fall in love.

One book with a black spine and blue lettering finally did grab your eye, but when you pulled it out of it’s space, it caught on its neighbor, sending the innocent novel to the ground. Whispering an apology to no one in particular, you bent down to pick up the book, but someone else snatched it up first.

“Do you always apologize to inanimate objects?” the intruder snickered.

Clearing your throat, you swiped the book from the rude boy’s hand, holding onto it rather than placing it back onto the shelf. After a quick intake of his face, you couldn’t help but admire how cute he was. Youthful features encased sharp, deep brown eyes, highlighted by the smirking mouth.

Then you took in the rest of him. 

He might as well have walked right out of one of the romantic novels you avoided like the plague. His black hair was a bit on the short side with the top styled away from his forehead. A black leather jacket covered up a plain white tee and black jeans with matching boots finished the whole look off.

The cute face couldn’t cover up the personality you knew was flashing before your eyes.

“Might as well be nice to everything,” you shrugged, possibly putting on an air of haughtiness with it. Hopefully that would just make him walk away and leave you alone. “You never know when technology will take over the world.”

He laughed. “Technology, yes, but I doubt books are going to suddenly obtain artificial intelligence and overthrow the human race.”

Unable to find a good comeback, you put the unwanted book back on the shelf with a little too much force before brushing past him. One would think that was the end of the conversation, but no. That would be against the kind of luck you had.

“I’m Minseok, by the way,” he introduced as he followed you down the aisle.

You barely threw him a glance. “Congratulations.”

“You know, for someone who looks so nice, you have a bit of a bite to you.” By the tone in his voice, it seemed like your attitude towards him was intriguing him to keep going rather than putting him off to find a new target.

Stopping in your tracks, you whirled on him. “Maybe there’s a reason for that, hm?”

The purpose of the gesture was to appear as annoyed and irritated as you felt. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? You were not interested. You had a date with the current book in your hand at the coffee shop and you honestly would rather not be late. Not like anyone but yourself would be disappointed in that, but still.

He just laughed at you again. “Feisty. Maybe if you told me your name, I would walk away.”

“Not going to happen,” you declared. Ignoring him once again, you made your way to the register. But apparently he didn’t get the hint. He stayed right next to you like a puppy. A rottweiler puppy that was pretending to be a golden retriever.

“Hey, find anything interesting today?” Monica, the employee who was usually behind the counter, smiled at you. Since you came in so often, most of the people who worked here knew you. Or at least, they recognized your face. Monica was one of the few you knew very well, often participating in a little small talk about new releases and up-and-coming authors that piqued your interest.

“Just this,” you replied, handing over the book.

She read the cover, smiling. “Nice choice.”

Minseok leaned an elbow against the counter, still trying to keep your attention. “So, how about dinner?”

“No, thank you,” you said immediately. Without looking at him, you took out your card and handed it over to Monica.

She swiped it quickly before bagging up the book and handed you your card back along with your prize, the receipt already tucked in between the pages of the book.

“Thanks, (y/n)!” Monica waved innocently. “See ya soon.”

You cringed. “See you later, Monica.”

Minseok looked like he’d just won the lottery as he kept up with your scurried escape.“Ah, (y/n). That’s a pretty name.”

“No, it’s not,” you scoffed, stopping mid stride. Minseok nearly collided with you, but he managed to dodge the hit. You folded your arms across your chest, staring him down. “That’s just something you say to girls to butter them up. You start by complimenting their name. And then next it’s their eyes. You say something deep and mysterious, comparing them to the sea or stars or some other crap you picked up from the movies. And then once you finally get what you want, you drop them for the next unsuspecting girl.”

“Bold of you to presume you know me.” His eyes were narrowed at you, ready for the battle to begin. But you weren’t interested in any type of lingering fight.

Done with the conversation, you stormed off to your car. From a few feet away, Minseok called out for you after swinging a leg over on his black motorcycle.

“Hey, (y/n)!”

Suppressing a groan, you paused just before you could open your car door, making eye contact with him.

“If I’d asked you out in a three piece suit or a polo, would you have said yes?”

When you didn’t answer him, he slid the helmet in his hands over his head and zoomed off. Hopefully that was the last you’d see of him.

**

You really should be more conscious of the look you had on your face at the moment. The bartender kept sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye in your direction as you twirled the straw of your third fruity house special and you were sure that your expression was one of disgust and irritation, the direct opposite of the other patrons around you. 

To be fair, you’d let Sam and Jamie talk you into going out tonight. You weren’t the “get drunk and dance like a fool in public” kind of girl. Social butterfly was not a term one would find in your “about me” section of social media.

Sure, you’d go out to drink every once in a while, but you preferred the more mellow hang outs - like breweries - over the nightclub you were currently forced to occupy. You might not have been so crabby if Jamie hadn’t made you leave your purse in the car, which had your new book tucked away inside. Of course, she knew it was in there and that was why she made you leave your big bulky bag behind.

Sam downed another shot right as the DJ blasted the latest dance hit through the speakers. Your best friends got those overly excited looks on their faces and tried to convince you to come out with them on the dance floor.

“No, absolutely not,” you yelled over the music. “I don’t even get what a ‘nae-nae’ is!”

“Fine, have it your way, party-pooper!” Jamie yelled back. When she starts using childish terms like “party-pooper”, that was when you knew she needed to slow down on the drinking. The two of them stay on the outskirts of the dance floor, throwing flashy smiles at you to try and get you jealous of all the “fun” they’re having.

You took a few more sips of your drink, longing for your book. That itching feeling of needing to know what came next never left you alone. Sam had the keys to your car and wouldn’t cough them over unless you had a good reason to go out there. Even though you thought finishing the current chapter of your book was a more than fair reason to go to the car, the others wouldn’t agree. Maybe you did have a problem?

A new body quickly inhabited the stool that Sam had vacated just a minute before, pulling you from your self analysis.

You nearly groaned once you recognized the newcomer. Minseok motioned to the bartender and got a bottled beer in less than a minute.

“You don’t seem like the type of girl who hangs out in these places,” he purred. It was so much like a cat, matching his sharp eyes that you roll your own in response.

You swiveled the stool so your elbows were resting on the bar. “Was that pickup line supposed to impress me? Or maybe you were putting too much hope on the fact that I might have had too much to drink and wouldn’t recognize you?”

“I was just making an observation,” he smiled, if you could count pulling up one corner of his lip as smiling. “You know, since you liked to make assumptions about people, I thought I would give it a shot.”

You slowly pushed the stool back around, completing the three-sixty turn and catching Jamie’s eye on the way.

He’s hot, she mouthed.

No, you mouthed back, shaking your head just the tiniest fraction.

She rolled her eyes and kept dancing.

“I’m not a crowd person,” you admitted as you took a sip of your drink. Part of you wanted to just go back to ignoring him, but he seemed to be the only other sober person around, minus the staff, and it beat just sitting there and wishing that you could be off in another world instead. “When I’m forced to come to these places, I tend to put the wall up, just in case some creep decides to try his luck with me. Not that I ever really get hit on. That’s usually left to my friends.”

Minseok shook his head, sliding his finger down the neck of the bottle. “That’s a shame.”

You scrunched your eyebrows. “What is?”

“People these days are too lost in what looks nice from far away that they won’t take the time to look closer at something less obvious and discover its beauty,” Minseok briefly glimpsed at you, taking in your confused facial expression. “Like a painting.”

Unless you misinterpreted him, he’d just compared you to art. No one had ever said anything similar to that directed at you before. “Potential” was the word you usually were stuck with.

Trying to focus on not blushing while searching to find a coherent sentence to respond with as the bartender approached, you downed the rest of your drink instead of replying. Why couldn’t Minseok stay the typical, one-dimensional bad boy? Why did he have to slowly turn into the deep, misunderstood type? That just might a bad road for you journey down.   

“You want another one?”the bartender asked, motioning to your empty glass.

“Actually, I’ll take the cherry bomb.” Ever since they added a cherry coke and whipped cream vodka drink to their menu, you’d been addicted, even if it wasn’t exactly a cheap drink. To save your wallet, you’d limited yourself to one per night. Right now, though, you were tempted to order several back to back to clear out the thoughts that were starting to form. 

Once the clean glass filled with reddish brown liquid was in front of you, you turned back to Minseok. “So, are you expecting to try and have another shot with me?”

“No, I think I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to you. I still remember the zinger you sent my way in the parking lot.”

You quoted, “‘Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it’.”

“Santayana knew what he was talking about.”

You laughed in shock. How could he actually know the originator of that widely known quote? It was a line everyone knew but usually they couldn't put a name to it.

At Minseok’s questioning look, you explained, “It’s rare to find someone who knows that name. All of my friends recognize the quote, but none of them can recall who said it. They mostly think it’s from a movie.”

Minseok finished off his beer, “Too lazy to look it up?”

“Just lacking motivation,” you corrected after taking a huge gulp of your drink, careful not to dribble some of it on your chin. “They’re okay with going through life without answers to certain things.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And you?”

You snorted. “I need an answer for everything. I like knowing why something works the way it does or why certain things happen.”

It was a control thing, you knew that. But you didn’t fight it. It was simply something you did to make your surroundings more comfortable for you and it kept you sane. From your point of view, at least. 

“But not everything has an answer,” he retorted. “Some things just are.”

“That’s what makes the adventure,” you whispered somewhat flirtatiously. 

Adventure? Yeah, right. Your idea of an adventure was trying out a new restaurant. You were too timid and afraid to do anything truly daring. You were so boring. And it’d never bothered you like it did in this very moment. 

Seeing right through you, Minseok challenged, “I don’t think you know what a real adventure is.”

Suddenly, a beer bottle came sliding down the counter, knocking your glass over when the drinks collided. The sticky pop and liquor spilled all over your lap. Well, at least your pants were black.

“Fuck, sorry!” One of the drunks at the other end of the bar cried out.

“Hey!” The bartender yelled. “Cut that shit out!”

“There are paper towels in the bathroom,” Minseok said as he cleaned up the ice, putting the cubes back into the glass. The bartender tried to hand over an old, dirty looking rag, but Minseok rejected the offer.

You cringed. “I’m not going in there. Have you seen the bathrooms? They’re disgusting. I have some napkins in my car.” You hopped off the stool, the bottom of your nice boots getting soaked in the liquid that had managed to drip onto the floor. You tabbed out with the bartender before he headed to the other end of the bar.

“I’ll go with you,” Minseok offered. “You probably shouldn’t go out there alone around this time.”

You nodded, surprised. So chivalry wasn’t dead.

To get the keys from Sam, you went onto the dance floor and explained what happened, emphasizing that you’d be right back. She offered to go with you, but you told her you’d be okay and that you already had a bodyguard to watch out for you.

She looked over your shoulder at Minseok and shot you a questioning look. You walked off before the look could be followed by a bombardment of questions.

Once out at the car, you unlocked it and slid into the passenger seat, keeping your feet out on the asphalt. You pulled out a handful of napkins from the glove box and start dabbing at your shirt and pants.

“At least I didn’t wear white,” you grumbled to yourself.

“Might have been an interest pattern if it stained, though,” Minseok teased. “Could have started a new trend. Alcohol stained clothes. Could have named it ‘The Morning After’.”

“Darn, I could have had a trending brand on my hands,” you groaned sarcastically. Gathering up the used napkins, you stood up, closed the door, and locked the car back up. You walked over to the nearest trash can and tossed the cold, disintegrating napkins away. Leaning against the wall of the club, you sighed, “Man, that breeze feels good. Too many bodies in a small area, it never fails to make me sweat profusely.”

Minseok nodded. “We can wait a few minutes before going back inside if you would like.” He seemed perfectly fine, even in the ever-present leather jacket. 

“Thank you,” you said sincerely. Pursing your lips, you played with the hem of your shirt. “Also for making sure I don’t get kidnapped. Unless, you being nice to me like this was all a part of an elaborate plan to kidnap me.”

“Still trying to label me as the bad guy, huh?” While there was a little shine left in his eye, most of the teasing was gone from his tone.

“You don’t exactly do yourself any favors,” you argued. “Leather jackets and that attitude will lead to those assumptions.”

“So far, the only one who has had an attitude is you,” he countered.

Well, shit. He wasn’t entirely wrong. Ever since he’d first spoken to you, you’d tried to push him away, make him walk in the opposite direction. Very different from the usual soft person you tried to be. You’d written him off as the stereotypical bad boy and just wanted him to leave you be. But your prickly attitude didn’t faze him at all. He didn’t scoff, throw his hands in the air and storm off like you’d expected. And you were finding yourself less and less eager to put up the annoyed front. 

Grabbing your hand, Minseok dragged you away from the club and deeper into the parking lot, not stopping until he was next to his bike. Apparently, the car next the bike was familiar to him as well as he unlocked the door and pulled out an open-faced helmet. In one smooth motion, he swung his leg over the beast.

“Do you normally have two modes of transportation?” you questioned.

He threw you a look. “It’s my sister’s car. She’s here with her boyfriend. That’s the only reason I came. Unless you thought I was stalking you?”

You didn’t dignify that comment with a response.

Minseok held the helmet out to you. “Get on.”

You scoffed. “No way.”

“Weren’t you the one talking about adventure earlier?” he reminded you.

“That’s different,” you argued weakly. “This thing is a death trap.”

“You sound like my mom.”

Right now would have been the opportune time to turn around and go back inside. By the time he got off the bike, you could be back at the door. That would have been the smart thing to do, the good girl thing to do. Motorcycles were dangerous. They were easily hit by cars that weren’t paying attention. You could be crushed, get road rash, or die in any other painful way if he was to lose control of the bike. There was no box that protected you from the elements, either.

“Don’t you want to know what it’s like to fly?” Minseok asked.

Damn it. That one stupid question was just enough to start tipping you over the edge.

“Then again, you could always live safely on the ground.”

Snatching the helmet out of his mocking hand, you squashed it down on your head before buckling the strap. Not quite as gracefully as Minseok, you hopped onto the back of the bike, almost losing your balance in the process. This had to be the stupidest thing you’d ever done. Maybe it was the alcohol giving you that extra push, taking away your inhibitions and usual way of making smart choices.

The engine roared to life. Slowly, Minseok backed out of the parking space with his feet. Once he was out in the open, he took off.

Everything blurred by you as the wind bit at your face. You clung to Minseok for dear life, arms viced around his torso while squeezing your eyes shut. He laughed at your iron grip but you weren’t loosening it any time soon. The truly surprising part was - despite the fear pumping through your veins at the moment - you were actually enjoying thrill of it all.

After the first few minutes of seeing your life flash before your eyelids, you were able to calm down and open them up to truly experience the ride. 

Minseok was an expert, carefully changing lanes and checking his surroundings for any possible danger. Eventually, you were able to rest your chin on his shoulder, taking in the feeling. Your arms weren’t as tense. Instead, they hung a little looser, fingers still clasped together, but allowing the blood to flow freely. You didn’t think it was exactly how flying would be, but it did make a nice parallel.

Too soon for your liking, Minseok pulled back into the parking space in front of the club. As soon as the engine was off, you got off the bike and handed him the helmet back.

“That was probably the most reckless thing you’ve ever done in your life,” Minseok guessed. No need to verify that fact beyond the shy smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

“Hey, baby girl!”

A small group of drunks came stumbling in your direction. Sensing trouble, Minseok got off the bike and placed himself between you and the unstable men.

“Just keep walking,” he warned.

“Sweetheart, why don’t I take you for a real ride?” one of them snickered.

Your stomach nearly pushed your drinks back up from his innuendo.

“Shut your mouth!” Minseok yelled. His fists were curled tight by his sides.

Fearing that this could turn bad, you place a hand on his shoulder. “Minseok, just leave it alone. They’re drunk. Let’s go back inside.”

“What you are going to do about it, punk?” one of the others spat.

“Maybe we need to show this lady what a real man is,” the last one laughed.

The first one leered at you, pretending as if Minseok didn’t exist at all. “I bet she’d look really pretty on my-”

Wherever his disgusting thought was going, it was quickly derailed by a punch from Minseok. The drunk’s friends were quick to join in, but since he was sober, Minseok had the advantage. That didn’t stop him from taking a few hits, though.

“Minseok!”

A girl with similar features to the leather clad idiot in front of you came running out of the club with another guy behind her as well as the bouncer.

The additional males were able to break up the fight and the drunks scrambled off before they could get into worse trouble.

“Why are you always getting into fights!” the girl yelled. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was Minseok’s sister.

“Those assholes were saying-”

“I don’t care what they were saying!” she snapped. “You swore you would stop fighting!”

Not wanting to stick around for the family affair, you quickly walked around Minseok, keeping your head down and trying not to be noticed as you wrapped your arms around yourself. You should have known that was going to happen. You should have known that this was all too good to be true. In the end, he was still the delinquent, the bad boy with a temper. And you were not going to stick around and continue to be disappointed. 

“(y/n), wait!” Minseok caught you on the arm right as you reached your car. He turned around, looking at you desperately. A cut a few centimeters wide above his left eye was oozing blood and his lip was busted open. Evidence of exactly what kind of guy you were dealing with. “Don’t go,” he begged, pleaded with you.

“Thank you for the ride,” you said straightly, monotonously, making sure that he could take in exactly where you stood. You didn’t even meet his eye, keeping your gaze down on the black asphalt. “But let me go.”

“No, talk to me,” he insisted through clenched teeth. “I thought I was finally getting through to you.”

You yanked your arm out of his grip. Finally meeting his eyes, you let loose. “Look, Minseok. I don’t know exactly what you were aiming for, but it’s never going to happen. I don’t go out with guys like you that throw punches and ride motorcycles and stomp around like they’re the toughest thing to walk this earth. I like nice guys. Good guys. They don’t go around sporting bruises and blood.”

His shoulders slumped. Defeat was emerging all over his face, but he decided to give it one more try. “Maybe I could be the nice guy.”

You shook your head. “Why are you trying so hard? You don’t know me.”

His eyes held your as he declared, “I know you more than you think I do.”

Not wanting to stick around and risk hearing anything else that might tempt you to forget what just happened, you threw the door open to your car and jumped into the driver’s seat. Sam and Jamie would just have to find their own way home. They could be mad at you later.

Throwing the car into reverse, you sped out of the parking lot as fast as you could while trying not to glance back at the man standing in the parking lot, staring after you.

**

You kept telling yourself that you made the right decision. Minseok was not the kind of guy that you could take to your parents and say “this is the guy I’m dating” and not expect disastrous results. And he wasn’t the kind of guy you wanted anyway.

So, why did you find yourself spending too much time at the bookstore, hoping to see him again? Or walking by the bar on a busy Friday night, hoping to spot that shiny black motorcycle in the parking lot?

Frustrated to no end, you threw your book down on the floor with a yell. You’d gone completely crazy. There you were on the couch, dressed in a comfortable sweater and leggings, trying to read a book centered around a leather-clad bad boy and a well-rounded good girl. The point of the exercise was to prove to yourself that you were right - that you’d made the best decision - but all you could think about was leaning into Minseok’s back as he guided the bike down the darkened streets, the wind leaving behind kisses on your face as the two of you raced away, leaving behind reality for just a little while, believing that man could fly.

It’d only happened once and yet you found yourself missing the way Minseok’s muscles tightened under your touch. You actually missed the smell of his jacket and the way his eyes laughed at you and your timid way of approaching life.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

What was that?

At first, you decided to ignore the sound, thinking that maybe it was just a squirrel passing by or a bird not realizing they would never get through the clear glass. Although, usually at this time of night all the little creatures had already settled down.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Unable to block it out anymore, you stood up and went to the sliding glass door that led out onto the balcony of your apartment. It definitely wasn’t a squirrel.

Parked out in the street under your balcony was Minseok, leaning up against his bike as he fiddled with a rock in his hand.

“About time you came out here,” he smirked up at you.

You crossed your arms, keeping on the air that you weren’t the least bit elated that he’d somehow found you.

“What are you doing here?” you demanded. That in itself was a reasonable question.

He shrugged. “Your friends weren’t too happy that you’d ditched them. They were more than willing to tell me where you lived. Especially after talking to my sister.”

Traitors.

As much as you’d wanted to see Minseok again, part of you still stood by what you’d said. There was no way the two of you could work out. And you didn’t want your heart to get broken.

Minseok waved his hand, “Come down here.”

“Go away,” you growled. For your own sake, you’d hoped that he’d listen. But of course he wouldn’t.

“No,” he stated. “Not until you talk to me. Otherwise, I’m staying right here.”

Rolling your eyes, you went back inside and shut the door. For a moment, you were tempted to just stay there in your living room, but you knew he’d make good on his threat.

After shoving your feet into a pair of sneakers, you headed down to the street below. Once in front of him, you threw your arms up. “Okay, I’m here.”

Minseok actually had the nerve to scoff. “That was much easier than I thought it would be.”

“What do you want?” you snapped.

“For you to listen,” he replied. When you didn’t open your mouth again, he went on, “Look. I’m sorry about the other night. You’re right, I shouldn't have started that fight. Even if I believe that asshole deserved it. But I can be the nice guy, too. I think I’ve already proven that to you. If not, then come with me. I can show you how much of the nice guy I can be.”

His offer was so tempting, like the shiny, blood red apple the witch had offered to Snow White. Because he was right. He’d shown you moments of chivalry and vulnerability that you hadn’t expected. But what would happen to you if you took a bite?

“That night,” you whispered, “you said that you knew me better than I thought. What did you mean by that?”

Minseok cleared his throat. “That was a bit of an exaggeration. It’s just….” he cursed. “This is going to sound really creepy and stalkerish, but hear me out.” Obviously nervous, he ran his fingers through his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets. “You see, my sister works at the coffee shop you go to all the time and I visit her a lot. And I’d see you. I thought you were cute, but then-” Again, he cursed under his breath.

“Then what?” you urged. You were sitting on the edge of your metaphorical seat. This sounded an awful lot like the beginning of a love confession. While love was a bit extreme to be feeling in this exact moment, this definitely felt like the start of something life changing.

“Then I’d watch you read and your face was like a mirror, reflecting the emotions of the book. And it was fascinating. And you were also so sweet to everyone, even that little girl who came up to talk to you randomly… Shit!” Minseok turn and kicked the tire of his bike. “Damn it, this sounds so stupid. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this.”

You tried really hard not to smile. It was a complete failure. “So, what you’re saying is that you developed a crush on me while visiting your sister at work?”

Refusing to look at you, he gave the smallest nod in existence. How could someone so tough do something so cute?

Before you could stop yourself, you stepped up to him and planted a quick kiss on his lips. At least, that was the plan.

As soon as your lips connected with his, Minseok’s bravado shot right back up to it’s normal inflated state. He wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you no escape as he deepened the kiss. And you certainly weren’t protesting.

The kiss was soft and warm despite the cool temperature outside. One of Minseok’s hands left your back and came up to cradle your jaw. Too soon, he pulled away.

“Come fly with me again,” he whispered.

Unable to speak, you simply nodded.

Pulling away, Minseok turned around and handed you a brand new, full-face helmet.

“Is this mine?” you asked skeptically.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt.”

You scoffed, shoving the helmet back into his hands. “Well, if I’m so predictable, why even bother with me? Wouldn’t that be boring?”

“I don’t think you could ever be boring,” he said sincerely. With confidence, he held the protective gear out for you once more and you took it with no resistance.

Just like that night at the bar, you carelessly jumped on the back of the bike, snaking your arms around Minseok’s torso, although this time around your grip wasn’t as death-fearing. Minseok roared the engine under you and your heart sped up with anticipation.

Bad boys, you realized, weren’t just bound in leather and dangerous. They could be soft and cute and protective. Perhaps all of that was why good girls so often fell for them. They could be unpredictable and at times scary, but in the end the hidden gem underneath made it all worth it. It was a chance that you would be willing to take, knowing that you would never be able to get this boy out of your head. If he broke your heart, so be it. Maybe they were made to be broken.

Minseok gave you one last wink over his shoulder before he took off down the road and back onto the wind of freedom.