#fifa facts video

[factifiedblog]

कतर में फीफा वर्ल्ड कप का विरोध क्यों कर रहे हैं भारतीय? वजह आपको हैरान कर देगी /How many times FIFA World Cup held

[2022dirt]

Ikea has boxes of fake video games in their showroom.

[wileys-russo]

Hayley Raso + “you’re such an asshole I can’t believe I like you” + playing video games together ! 🧎‍♀️🫶🏼

world class II h.raso

"hay, baby you can't sleep yet." you wandered past the lounge and noticed the australian start to drift off, shaking her ankle as she groaned and opened her eyes.

"why?" hayley sighed deeply, rubbing her face and crossing her arms over her chest. "because the entire point of your jetlag plan is so you're back and fit to train a few days before your match babe." you smiled sympathetically.

"baby i could just take a tiny nap? then i'll still sleep tonight!" the brunette tried to bargain as you shook your head. "not part of the plan, and as both your girlfriend and a physio i have to ensure you follow that plan!" you laughed, gesturing for her to sit up.

you and hayley had met during her season at everton. you were only a trainee physio then, on work placement to finish your degree but you'd caught the australian's eye right away, the two of you getting along like a house on fire.

hayley was sat with a proud smile at your graduation, still only a friend to you then but not for a lack of trying, you only taking her attempts to flirt with you as banter and not yet clicking she wanted to be much more than just friends.

after you were fully qualified you quickly found yourself with a job offer in manchester for the devils, though still with 6 months left on your lease you stayed living where you had been and hayley amped up her efforts to woo you.

finally you clicked that she wasn't just being friendly on a drunken night out with some of her friends who were visiting from australia that she'd insisted you join, two of them quickly pulling you aside and asking when you and hayley had started dating it all suddenly made sense.

fast forward a couple of years and you'd both made the move to spain and were living in madrid, hayley still playing football and you working in a local sports clinic, working more with younger kids and teenagers who came up from the academies than directly with a team like you had been prior.

"you're no fun." hayley pouted with a frown as you shook your head. "maybe not, but neither is being medically benched because the team physios catch wind you're too tired to be cleared to play." you warned lightly, her eyes widening.

"you wouldn't!" hayley sat up properly now with a scoff. "i would love, if it meant you avoided any and all risk of injury." you promised softly, running a hand through her hair and shrugging.

"i wish you'd stayed working in england." hayley mumbled as her eyes began to once again feel heavy. "well aren't you absolutely charming." you rolled your eyes, turning to leave as a hand grabbed the back of your top.

"sorry! i'm just tired." hayley groaned, pulling you down onto the lounge and trapping you in between her arms and legs in a tight bear hug. "i know baby, but this plan will mean you aren't tired like this for very long." you twisted your neck to sweetly peck her lips.

"will you play fifa with me then? i was getting my ass kicked at tillies camp and i have to make sure i can hold my own before the next one. i didn't win a single game!" your girlfriend huffed, forever hotheaded and fiercely competitive much as it amused you to watch.

"love i've not got a clue how to play. in fact hay you banned me from playing because it was 'too hard to watch' remember?" you quirked an eyebrow as a guilty smile curled into her features.

"babe that was ancient history, i'm a new much more patient woman now." hayley grinned as you let out a loud sarcastic peal of laughter and tapped at her forearms to let you up.

"it wasn't even eight weeks ago raso." you hovered over her with a shake of your head, suddenly pulling back as she tried to sit up and capture your lips in hers. "oi! come here and give me a kiss." the australian frowned impatiently.

"no." you smiled, standing and heading toward the kitchen to make lunch for the pair of you, not at all surprised at the sound of footsteps hurrying after you.

"hayley!" you gasped as a body barrelled into you almost taking you down to the floor before your girlfriend grabbed your hand, spinning and dipping you, holding you just from falling as your heart raced.

"don't do that! its not funny." you smacked her chest with a thump as she laughed and you scowled, trying to move past her but before you could take another step her mouth was pressed against yours, feeling the winger smile into the kiss.

"you're a child sometimes." you pulled away and smacked her on the head with a magazine that was handy on the counter, only causing her to smile wider clearly proud of herself.

"that can wait! just one game? it'll help keep me awake." your girlfriend tugged you back from the kitchen with her best puppy dog eyes as you sighed. "fine. one game!"

"how the hell do you defend? i forget the controls!" you moaned in annoyance, only having had possession for about two seconds this entire half as your girlfriend knocked back goal after goal.

"hayley!" you huffed as she made her player do a backflip after another goal and cheered loudly in your ear, kissing your cheek apologetically from where you lay between her legs, your elbows resting on her knees and your back pressed to her front.

"you said this would be easy." you complained as the game stopped for half time. "no, i said i would put the match settings on easy." your girlfriend corrected as you pinched her thigh unimpressed with the answer.

"you're winning 8-0 surely you can spare five fucking minutes to show me the controls again?" you huffed before she could click to resume play, a lazy kiss pressed to your jaw as she dropped her remote and her hands settled over yours.

"when you attack you click this to pass, this to clear, this one to sprint and this one for a header or a short ball, and this to shoot." she explained slowly, pointing out the different buttons as you nodded.

"when you defend its the same sequence just different results. this one to chase, this one to tackle, this one to slide tackle and this one to clear." your girlfriend explained as again you nodded, doing your best to follow along.

"so does this mean you might let me keep the ball for more than thirty seconds and maybe even give me a pity goal?" you asked hopefully as the winger grabbed her own control and grinned.

"not a chance darlin." she stole a kiss and clicked resume before you could bite back with a remark. the second half you played a little better, but still you failed to score and conceded yet another five goals making it so hayley won with a whopping 13-0.

"that was humiliating." you scowled tossing the remote to the side onto the lounge and rolling your eyes. "thats life, win some you lose some. i feel a lot better about my results at camp now! thanks baby." her hands settled either side of your face and tilted your head back so she could press kisses across your skin.

"you're welcome." you rolled your eyes, gently tugging her hands away and sitting up, glancing to the screen only for a moment as your head snapped back to it and you frowned.

"world class!? you said you put it on beginner." you turned to glare at your girlfriend who shrugged, quickly turning off the tv and sitting up on her knees.

"did i? guess i must have clicked the wrong one babe, sorry." she grinned, pushing you to lay down as her face hovered over yours, not an ounce of remorse in her eyes.

"you're such an asshole, i can't believe i like you." "only like?" "barely tolerate." "what happened to love!" "maybe if you weren't a world class bad loser, you might get some."

[its-time-to-write]

AH I've been waiting for requests to be open! i love love loveeee your writing!! I've been in dire need (if you feel like writing it lol) of reader comforting jamie after the locker room scene w his dad at wembley.. like maybe instead of roy hugging him the reader swoops in? you do you! thanks!! <3

Listened to 17 Pushing 24 by Sabrina Sterling while writing this. Highly recommend ✌️🥲

i know what i’m doing

Sometimes Jamie wonders if you two are attracted to each other due to your compelling need to take care of everything. 

It certainly was difficult at first, both of you with residual issues due to your upbringing. His as the only son of a single mother, yours as the oldest daughter of a large family. 

Those types of child-caretakers aren’t always compatible. Jamie’s much more lighthearted about the way he tries to control everything, and you’re more serious.

You’d think it would be easier, both of you taking care of each other, except for the small fact that neither of you were capable of accepting help from the other. 

It came to a head one evening when Jamie came home to you crying in the laundry room, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the tasks you had yet to complete before going to bed. 

“Love, I can help you,” Jamie had said.

“No! It’s my laundry and my responsibility and you already have enough to do without me burdening you even more,” you replied before dissolving into more tears. 

So yeah, it was a whole thing. It involved therapy and everything.

But you’re moving past it. You’re both getting to a point where each of you can receive the same love that you’re giving, however strange it may feel. Jamie even let you stay home from work to take care of him when he was sick a couple weeks ago, something that was pretty much unheard of up to this point.

You’re channeling the need to control things in healthy ways, like having all of AFC Richmond over to Jamie’s giant house for potluck-style family dinners. Or hosting non-video game nights, where FIFA is strictly banned as a form of entertainment. Or themed outings where everyone had to dress as something that shared the first letter of their name and then go see a movie at the local theater. 

Stuff like that. 

You’re the brains, Jamie is the execution. You can see Isaac side-eyeing him a couple times, making mental notes about temporary captains in the event that he can’t play a match. 

Jamie’s gone from Richmond’s resident prick to Richmond’s resident morale-booster.

He comes home one evening with brighter eyes than normal.

“Babe,” he calls before he’s even in the door, “Coach said I can go back to being a prick again.”

“Ted said that?” you ask from your spot on the couch. You’re laying down length-wise with your legs dangling off the end.

“Fuck no,” Jamie replies, “Roy.”

“Oh,” you say as Jamie plops his bags down. You sit up a little so he can have a spot on the couch. He pats his lap so you lay back down, head on his thigh.

“Roy said that Ted fucked me up, so ‘when it’s appropriate’” (he uses air quotes) “I can be a prick to the other team.”

“That’s nice, babe,” you say, “but how do you know when to do that?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach said he’d give me a signal. Don’t know what it is, though.”

You say, “hm,” then lapse into comfortable silence, Jamie’s hand running through your hair.

—

The prick signal worked so much better than you could have thought. It’s the best. You see Jamie go from playing defensively to being completely offensive, screwing with the other team’s heads. You scream and clap as he scores, while Keeley practically throttles you with joy.

Now it’s late after the game, and the lads are all over at Jamie’s. They’re absolutely exhausted, but buzzing with energy. It isn’t until about 1am that they disperse to the various guest bedrooms and pass out on top of each other. You catch a glimpse of Dani cuddling Jan Maas who’s asleep in a starfish position as Colin sneaks in to draw on their faces with sharpie. 

“Don’t tell anyone it was me,” he whispers. You zip your lips and head to the master bedroom and pretty much fall onto the right side of the bed.

Jamie comes in shortly after, saying something about Isaac telling a bedtime story. He burrows under the covers and you quietly shriek because he’s placed his ice-cold hands on your ribcage.

“How are you so cold?” you whisper.

Jamie shrugs sleepily. “Dunno,” he whispers back. “Got ice in my veins, I guess.”

You smile. “You’re tired, aren’t you babe?”

Jamie shakes his head and stifles a yawn. “Nah, ain’t tired. Thinkin’ about our match against Man City.”

He says it casually. Too casually.

You see, both you and Jamie have this thing where the more nonchalantly you say something, the more important it is.

You prop yourself up a bit so you can face him and scratch his head. He sighs and leans in.

“You nervous?” you ask.

Jamie shakes his head. “Not to see the team. Lookin’ forward to seeing Pep. It’s just…” he trails off.

You whisper, “Yeah. I know. Whatever happens, I’m here. Don’t forget that. I’m here no matter what.”

Jamie says, “hm,” and then he’s asleep.

—

You’re running. 

You’re running faster than any of the boys on the pitch had run the entire match, and you’re pushing past people in a way that Keeley would later describe as “absolutely fucking feral.”

It happened like this:

The game was over. Richmond lost to Man City.

You were on your way to see Jamie and the rest of the team.

You were, maybe, three floors away? when Rebecca got a text from Ted, showed it to you, and before you knew it you were flying down to the guest locker room to find Jamie.

Of course his dick father would show up to make this day worse. Of course he would.

You’re ducking under security and pushing your way to the locker room in a flurry of motion, then immediately stop.

It’s silent, absolutely silent. 

And so still.

No one moves a muscle as your eyes land on Jamie, clinging to Roy like he’s a lifeline. Roy. Roy Kent, self-proclaimed Jamie-hater and staunch advocate against physical touch.

Jamie’s eyes are squeezed shut, but they flutter open at the sound of your tentative footsteps. He lets go of Roy for a moment, but only so that you can grab him in the next.

“Right,” says Roy, “Everybody get the fuck out!”

There are no complaints as the lads hurriedly grab their bags and exit the locker room.

Roy nods in your direction before leaving, and Beard mouths, “take your time.” You’re not sure where Ted’s gone off to.

Jamie feels like he’s going to collapse if he stands any longer, crushing you in the strongest grip you’ve ever felt.

“Oi,” you say gently, “let’s sit down, yeah? You don’t have to let go.”

So now you’re on the bench in Jamie’s lap, scratching his head in the way he likes, waiting for him to break the silence.

“Fucking stupid,” he says, voice muffled.

You ask, “What?” because surely that can’t be what he just said.

“I said it’s fucking stupid,” Jamie says, refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m a fucking adult. Don’t need to be crying about stupid shit, especially not in front of the lads.”

“Oh, right,” you say before you can stop yourself, “because crying after your dick father tried to swing at you when you set boundaries for the first time ever is a completely unreasonable response.”

Jamie is still in your arms and you cringe. Curse your stupid, logical tongue.

Jamie finally says, “Didn’t think about it like that.” He sighs. “It’s just fuckin’ embarrassing, innit? Him showing up here like that. Didn’t need the lads seeing that.”

You kiss his forehead. 

“The only person it’s embarrassing for is him. Not you. You’re absolutely fine, Jaim. If anything, the boys are going to look at you better for finally understanding the shit you had to grow up with.”

Jamie nods, but you’re not sure if he believes you.

“Jamie,” you say firmly, “It’s not your fault. You handled it the best way it could have been handled. You did a great job.”

Those words seem to do something to Jamie, and his face takes on an expression you’ve never seen before

He asks, “You think so?” in such a forlorn manner than you have the sudden urge to find James Tartt and kick him in the balls with steel-toed shoes. You briefly wonder if Roy and Beard would like to join you.

“Yes,” you reply forcefully, “Yes Jamie. You did a wonderful job in a shitty situation and I’m very, very proud of you.”

Jamie doesn’t reply, just holds you tighter if that’s even possible. He takes a deep shuddering breath, but it’s the first real one he’s taken this entire time. 

“I told you I’m here no matter what,” you say. “Just like all the times you’ve been here for me. Now I’m here for you.”

[clearlyclairesblog]

Max: Do you not understand what I'm saying?

Daniel: I get it Max, I do, but it's clear he wasn't thinking straight, alright?

Max, angrily: How do you call someone 'babe' in front of the cameras without thinking straight, uh?

Daniel: Is the word 'babe' the problem or the fact that it was for Matt?

Max: What? No! He could have said that to fucking Carlos for what I care, it doesn't change the fact that he should only call m-

Charles, entering the apartment: Babe, I'm home! Oh, hi Daniel!

Max, glaring at him: Hi, babe! How was your meeting, babe? Got something to tell me, babe?

Charles: *looks at Daniel confused*

Daniel: Right, I think I'm going to go.

Max: No babe, stay! We can play some Fifa.

Charles, even more confused: Did I miss something here?

Max: I don't know, you tell me. I'm not the one who called a complete stranger 'babe' on cameras for everyone to see.

Charles, frowning: What? What di- oh! He didn't delete that? Mon amour I'm so sorry, I just- you know how confused I stil get with English.

Daniel, whispering: That's true, he still says my name the Italian way.

Max, rolling his eyes: Do you swear you didn't do it on purpose?

Charles, hand on his heart: I swear, I meant to say 'mate' but I wasn't functioning at the moment.

Max: Do you swear it meant nothing to you?

Charles: Absolutely nothing. Come on, it's Matt, he's got nothing on you. You're my babe. Only you. Come here.

Max, leaning closer: You're going to have to apologize properly. I already know how you could do that.

Daniel, walking to the door: Ugh, yeah guys, uh, do your things, I'm leaving. Bye!

* some time later, Lestappen's bedroom*

Max, in between kisses: You're not allowed to say the word 'babe' outside these walls anymore.

Charles: Not even to you?

Max, smiling: Mmh, you're right, I love it when you call me that. You can call me babe when we're not home, allowed.

Charles, giggling: That should be another one of our rules.

Max:

Charles:

Max: How many rules do we have?

Charles: Ugh, fourteen last time I checked. I can't remember them tho, they're stupid.

Max: Well, rule fifteen is not going to be stupid. It should go like this:

LESTAPPEN RELATIONSHIP RULE N.15: WE DON'T USE THE WORD 'BABE' OUTSIDE OUR HOME UNLESS IT'S FOR EACH OTHER.

Charles: Alright, babe, I'll send it to Pierre, he's the one with the complete list.

* later that evening *

Pierre, opening a group chat to send a screenshot: You guys, they're making rules for themselves now!

George: I knew this day would come.

Alex: They grow up so fast!

Lando: I'm screaming! Is this about the P1 video? @ Carlos you owe me 20 bucks!

Fred: So we have 15 rules now?

Pierre: Yes!

Daniel: Next one is 16 so it should be dedicated to Charles.

Fred: I'm having lunch with them tomorrow, I'll keep you updated.

[katsmtmsdoodles]

Day 1 of drawing Matt Arnold's teen facts to heal my soul after everything Li-Wilsons 😭😭 and also for anatomy practice bc anatomy is hard :D

S2 E1: Link and Grant played FIFA together and that's where Link's love of soccer began!

Yeah, Marco hasn't played any video games with them in a while

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Not a thot but a question, do you have any headcanons for Frank/Matt/Bucky?

Ohhh yeah I have a few. Thanks for your patience, I wanted to respond to this when I could sit and think and type everything out on my computer, not on my phone. Normal HCs at the top, spicy stuff below the cut.

Matt

Okay so I had this friend in highschool who was beyond disgusted by peanut butter, no allergy just totally hated the stuff. Like wouldn't kiss his girlfriend if she'd eaten it recently. I feel like Matt has an extreme food ick like this. Def not peanut butter but something like olive oil maybe? With his sensitive senses he gags when he even gets a whiff of whatever it is.

Speaking of peanut butter, I think it's a food staple of Matt's. The man can't take care of himself, so cooking full meals is just not a thing for him. So 2AM, back from patrol and he needs something to eat. Matt just eats PB straight out of the jar with a spoon like I did for meals in college.

Frank

Loves karaoke. Well, used to when he lived a more normal life. I don't think he sings amazingly well, but he doesn't care. He plays guitar obviously and Col. Shoonover mentioned his impressions skills, so that all concludes me to the fact the Frank likes to sing. He sings to himself/along with the radio when he's driving by himself between jobs. A lot of John Denver and Elton John.

For a holiday/birthday/anniversary gift one year he absolutely recorded Maria a CD of him playing and singing a few of her favorite songs. He'd probably do the same for you too if you were dating.

Bucky

Has a bit of a video game addiction. He was so fascinated by Stark tech at the fair, that I imagine he loves learning about everything that has come along since, but really got hooked on video games. I'm thinking your standard XBOX, Nintendo or Playstation games like the MLB/Baseball game and the Mario collection. Not big on first person shooter games like Call of Duty cause he's lived it obviously. But he can literally spend hours playing like FIFA or something. Absolutely gets on live to play with Sam, AJ, and Cass all the time.

Spicy Thots under the cut, 18+ please, I tried to keep it gender neutral in terms of x reader

Matt

Is really touchy during sex and also not during sex. Since the visual stimulation of sex obviously isn't there for him, he makes up for it by always having to be pressed against you fully or by having hands roaming and groping everywhere.

But also not during sex he's always grounding himself to you by being pressed as close to you as possible. Only time he isn't is when he's in a Matty Mood™ and feels like he doesn't deserve you or you deserve better or whatever Catholic guilt BS he tells himself. He gets over it eventually.

I feel like he likes really intimate sex but also is really playful during it as well. We saw a glimpse of this in She Hulk but I also think his just generally flirty demeanor hints at this. I'm talking like does things to make you giggle in the middle of sex.

Man also has a bit of a breeding kink. He's absolutely not ready to be a parent because his life is in shambles and as much as he loved his dad, he did not have good parental examples in his life, but regardless of his partner's gender or bodily anatomy, he likes the idea of filling you up, knocking you up and having that claim on you. I'm again blaming the Catholicism somehow.

Frank

The eye contact during sex!!!! Dude lost his whole family so anything good in his life he is afraid is going to slip away so he treasures it and takes it all in. We saw this during S2 with Beth but yeah, big guy just loves to watch every facial expression you make during sex.

He's also just really tender in bed. He's not big on kink stuff but will try it if you want but just wants to feel really connected during sex. He's mostly serious in bed but in a really beautiful and intimate way.

Mostly groans and grunts but loves to thrown in a "c'mon baby girl/boy" and begs for "just one more for me"

Bucky

I wrote a whole spiel about my Bucky bedroom hcs, but here's some more.

Of the three, I feel like Bucky is most playful and open to new things in bed. I don't think any of them are open to a full on Daddy kink, dom-sub kind of play but Bucky is the most likely to lean into elements and try things. After his time being under someone else's control I think he likes to feel a little in control, especially of his own body and sex life. But again, not fully into that type of dynamic. Like he might like to boss you around a little or call you dirty names in bed. Afterall, 1940s Bucky was a total flirt and very smooth with the ladies, so it stands to reason in bed he'd still bring some of that out.

[wosowrites]

Award Night (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

warnings: none

a/n: this is more of a ficlet and it’s based off this request:

prompt: "please don’t make me wear lipstick" & "you look absolutely beautiful." i wasn’t sure if anonymous wanted the reader to say "don’t make me wear lipstick" or vice versa so hopefully this is good for you.

The day the list of final three contestant for every category of the FIFA best came out, you were ecstatic. And furious. Your girlfriend, Alexia Putellas, was nothing but thrilled, even if she hadn’t made the final cut.

"It’s ridiculous babe. You should be there." You had told her.

She had gotten a little annoyed with you. Telling you to focus on the fact that you were one of the final contestants, along with Beth Mead and Alex Morgan.

You were now sitting at the vanity in your parisien hotel. You mid length dyed blond hair was tied in a messy low bun, and your natural brown roots were peaking through your scalp. You were wearing a fully grey suit with a loose cut. it was buttoned up just below your breast. You weren’t wearing a shirt under the jacket, that look, the one of the suit and nothing else was always one you wanted to try. And today, you got too. Of course, Alexia was your plus one, and she looked gorgeous in a white, goddess like dress.

You were sat at the vanity, your left hand fiddling with the bracelets on your right hand. Alexia was standing behind you, her hands on your shoulders. "You look beautiful, baby." Alexia said to you, kissing the top of your head. "Yes, so don’t make me wear lipstick." You told your girlfriend, looking up at her. "This is the FIFA best, mi amor. And you’re going to look your best." Alexia told you.

"Fine." you groaned.

You stood up and walked into the washroom, Alexia trailing behind you. "What colour then?" You asked, rummaging through Alexias bag of makeup. Alexia took the bag and started pulling out different colours. She would hold one up to your suit, and then to your face, and shake her head and put it down. Finally, after what felt like hours, her shake of the head turned into a nod. "This one." She said, opening the cap of the lipstick. The colour was a nude pink, and you had to agree that it looked like it would match well. "Put it on then." You told her. "Me?" She laughed. "Yes. I’ve never put on lipstick before and i’ll probably get it all over my face. "Fine." She laughed.

You pulled out your phone from your pocket, filming in the mirror as Alexia applied the colour to your lips. She stared at them, watching the change in colour, while you stared into her eyes.

"Perfecto." She said gently, putting the cap back onto the lipstick. You looked at her gently, using your hand that wasn’t filming to lift her chin up. You leaned in to kiss her gently, but she pushed you back. "You’re not ruining your lipstick with kisses." She said, and you turned off the video. "Please!" You said. "No." She laughed, walking out of the room.

When it was time to go, you put on beige loafers and kneeled down to tie Alexia’s heels. She was your everything, your queen, and you treated her that way every day, without a fail.

You both walked out of the limousine and onto the red carpet an hour later. You took pictures together, and individually. You smiled to the other finalists, as well as to the people that were going to be in the best 11.

You did a few interviews, but you could barely focus, feeling too nervous. Eventually, you got settled in your seats, and you looked around, soaking it all in. Beth Mead looked amazing, as a Canadian, you had a slight grudge with Alex Morgan, but that pink outfit looked amazing on the american.

The ceremony started, but everything was blurry. Mary Earps won the best keeper, Messi won FIFA best for the men’s, Sarina Wingman won best coach, and everything else you had no idea. You were so entranced by Mary’s speech however, that you completely freaked out when you realized that the next category was yours. "I can’t do this, Ale." You whispered to her. "Yes you can. Don’t say you can’t. You can win an award for being an amazing player if you can win the FA cup, and the olympics, and so many other things. You got me?" Alexia said.

"And the winner is… y/n y/l/n." The person opening the letter said.

It was as though a weight lifted off your shoulders. Tears prickled your eyes as you stood up. You kissed Alexia quickly, and nodded towards Beth and Alex. You walked up onto that stage, the stairs were steel and you were grateful to have been wearing a suit and not a dress. You got to the commentator and kissed her cheek respectfully before taking the award. You fixed the mic a bit, before really taking a look at the room.

"Holy crap." You breathed out. "I-I don’t know how to give a speech that could ever compare to Mary’s. Mary that was a beautiful speech. But i’ll start off by saying that I feel so lucky to be here today. And I strongly feel that Alex, Beth, you both deserve this just as much as I do. And honestly, the me from… three years ago honestly was just such a people pleaser that she probably would have walked off this stage and gave the award to you both. But, that is not the me of today. The me of today can accept that I deserve things in life. That I deserve joy, and recognition and support. I don’t think I really realized that I could have a life where I was totally happy, a life where I didn’t feel as though everything was constantly going wrong until I was 19. But then I moved out of Canada, and I love my home country with my whole heart but I needed a change so badly. Anyways, I moved out of Canada and went to UCLA where I met some of the best people in the world. It was there that I realized that my life could be good. That I could be in an environment where I was valued. I did my major in sports psychology and that really helped me understand my own brain. I think it also helped me become a better girlfriend to the most… incredible person in the world. I deserve a lot, but I’ll never deserve you, Alexia. Thank you, to you, for always lifting me up a little bit higher, thank you to my club teammates, Mapi, Keira, Patri, Lucy, Aitana, you guys have made living in the third country of my life much easier. But I think I owe my biggest thank you to my national teammates, who’ve put up with me since I was 15. I love you all, and I hope you’re watching me right now and thinking: ‘that’s the 15 year old who sang Justin Bieber for her initiation to the team.' Yes there is a video, no none of you will ever see it." The room laughed slightly, Alexia looked as though she was crying. "Anyways, thank you to every fan who voted for me, and thank you to Alexia for making me wear lipstick because the lighting is really harsh and I hope I look okay." The room laughed again and you walked off stage to loud applause.

You took your seat again, eventually being all called back for the best 11. Everything was amazing, everything was good. "You look absolutely breath taking." Alexia whispered in your ear as you walked off stage with both your awards. "And I love you very much."

[watermelonsugacry]

okay i know we’re all just dying to know but how was band member!yn feeling when harry dated taylor swift or kendall jenner or any of his exes matter of fact

Oh she was a jealous little thing.

So what, he starting dating Taylor in 2012ish...?

That's around the time when being stuck in a hotel room between shows, press, and plane rides was becoming the band's norm. So they mainly occupied themselves with song writing, room service and in this case, video games competitions. They were all scattered around the huge living room of YN’s hotel suite, snacks and drinks every which way with eyes glued to the screen.

Louis and Niall were head to head in a round of FIFA when YN perks her head up to the sound of a door opening. She sits from her seat on the couch with furrowed eyebrows as she sees Harry push his arms through a green jacket.

"And where do yeh think yeh going, Mr. Styles?"

Harry gives her a small smile, not a full one that makes his dimples show in the way she likes.

"Erm, heading out. Be back in like 2 hours."

"Wait, we can leave? Then why the hell am I staying in here with you losers?" YN stops from fully getting off the couch by Liam's nonchalant tone.

"Only H can go, babe." Liam says with a mouthful of chips before sporadically pointing to the TV and telling Niall to go right.

"Well that's a bit sexist."

"M'meeting with up Taylor." Harry blurts out.

And that stops her hand midway from pushing a pretzel past her lips.

"Again?" YN didn't mean it to come off so defensively so she quickly tries to cover it up with a cooler tone. "I mean, didn't yeh just go see her a couple days ago?"

"That's generally how dating works, YN." Louis teases, his eyes still on the screen with his controller on his lap.

And Harry's heart plummets to the bottom on his stomach by the hurt in her voice. "You're dating her?"

"Um, kinda? S'nothing serious." Harry reaches over to grab a pretzel from the bowl in her hands and pops one in his mouth to avoid her eyes. He doesn't know why he feels the need to act like he wasn't dating the pop star. Sure, it may have started out as a PR stunt and not to totally degrade Taylor but she's a good distraction from his mind swirling around YN 24/7.

"Yeah, because sending her a giant ass bouquet of red roses the other day is the definition of 'nothing serious.'" Zayn chuckles but quickly stops at the sight of Harry's eyes throwing daggers his way.

"Well, where are yeh taking 'er today?" Niall innocently asks as he continues to stare at the TV.

"Um, gonna walk around the park for a bit and then grab a bite to eat at Danny's Place."

He's hyper aware of the fact that YN's been uncharacteristically slient, not joining in with the rest of the band as they say a quick goodbye and bids him to have fun.

Right as his hand is on the doorknob, there's an odd sense of relief at the sound of her voice.

"Wait." YN climbs her way over the couch and her sock covered feet quickly pad over to him.

"Yeah?" Was he stupid for thinking she was actually going to stop him for going? And was he an idiot for thinking he'd actually listen to her if she asked him to stay? With her looking up at him like this, he'd do just about anything she wanted if she just said the words.

But instead, he watches as she wordlessly takes the beanie off her head and tugs it over his curls. "S'cold out."

Against his better judgment, his eyes flicker down to her lips and then back to her eyes. He swallows thickly, "Thanks, lovie."

And with that she closes the door behind him. She twists and twists at the ring on her index finger as she rounds the couch back to her spot. She's so in her own mind that she hadn't even realized how the room went silent. She looks up to see the rest of the boys all staring at her with knowing looks on their faces.

"Whot?"

"Yeh really gonna make us say it?" Zayn says from his seat on the floor.

"Say whot?"

"Y'jealous." Liam chuckles.

"No m'not."

"Oh but you are." Louis drags out in a playful tone before making his voice a pitch higher. "Wait, you're dating her? But Harry, I thought you were in love with me?"

"Sorry, lovie." Niall tries his hand at Harry's deep British accent. "But I have to go take her to the restaurant you said was shite the last time we ate there because Americans seem to love it."

"But before you leave, here's my beanie for you to wear, not because it's cold outside but for you to have something to remind you of me while you're out with Taylor Swift." Louis dramatically bats his eyelashes.

"I would actually prefer a kiss instead." Niall pickers his lips and they all join in on making kissy noises at her.

They all look at YN’s eyebrows pulled together with a barely there pout, her squinted eyes flickering around to each member.

There's a pregnant pause before she mutters out, "Danny's Place is quite shit."

SINCE 2010 masterlist

Taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles @luvonstyles @mxltifxnd0m

[radiohead-spiderman]

Video games the golden trio era characters would play :3 (this is fact and totally canon, if you disagree, sue me idk)

Harry is a Minecraft player in my mind, BUT I could totally see him playing any and every Spider-Man game.

Ron plays off brand Minecraft and Roblox, but he swears that off brand Minecraft is “better” and his favorite game on Roblox is Murder Mystery. He also likes playing chess on the computer.

Both Ron and Harry take turns playing coolmathgames too :3

Draco Malfoy plays girlsgogames and that’s canon.

Ginny Weasley is a try hard Fortnite and Overwatch player, honestly I could see her playing FIFA too but she’s definitely a try hard Overwatch player.

Luna plays those flash games made in the early 2000’s that were possibly made by someone on psychedelics.

Hermione doesn’t seem like she’d play games at first but I’m telling you right now, I can feel it in my bones that she plays Skyrim, and knows ALL of the Elders Scrolls lore. She’d also play Elden Ring I think.

Fred and George exclusively play VR and or Fortnite but the goal is the same, to make children cry. They love to do this on Gorilla Tag specifically.

Neville plays cozy games on switch, either that or he’s playing the most violent game you’ve ever seen. There is no in between.

[factifiedblog]

कतर में फीफा वर्ल्ड कप का विरोध क्यों कर रहे हैं भारतीय?वजह आपको हैरान कर देगी

[mbmbat]

Questions:

Before settling on the name "Sonic" what was the name proposed by Sega for this iconic blue hedgehog?

Assassin‘s Creed was originally set to be part of what video game franchise?

In transferring Super Mario Kart to western markets, what censorship was done on Princess Peach and Bowser?

The entirety of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past takes up how much memory?

The UK versions of FIFA 2001 and Gran Turismo 2 shipped with what peculiar feature?

Spoof prostitute-style cards were placed in phone boxes around SoHo in London to advertise the original Crash Bandicoot. What did they read?

Answers:

Mr. Needlemouse

Prince of Persia

They removed the champagne from their victory celebrations.

Less than 1 MB

Both games had scratch and sniff discs. FIFA smelled like a football pitch, and Gran Turismo smelled like a pit stop.

They read "New in town! Young Randy Bandicoot." and had phone number you could call along with a picture of Crash in his underpants.

How'd you do? Did you beat Justin?

[felassan]

A few more snippets of interest and insight from Mark Darrah, from an older Mark Darrah on Games YouTube video where he was livestreaming playing Dragon Age: Origins some months ago -

Chat said "One day we will get a BioWare game with good hair. One day." Mark replied, "I hope they have good hair this time. I think they'll have good hair. There's some really cool tech in Frostbite now that FIFA is using for pretty good hair, so might be expensive, but."

[please note this video streamed 4 months ago] "I've been pretty inaccurate on my predictions for DA:D news. I mean I would be shocked if they don't plan to do something for EA Play 2023, but then there would be no reason for them to do anything before then, to try to make their own event, but. Yeah, I would say that, if they're planning to release this year [2023], which would still be my expectation, they'll announce at, they'll have stuff at EA Play and probably date, so they can open up preorders in Europe. If they're still concerned about their date then they won't date. Normally EA Play would be in June, same time as E3. Do we have confirmation of an E3 this year?" Here chat commented, "Could you see them potentially showing up at something like the rumored Microsoft conference?" Mark replied, "It's possible, the problem with going to a console-specific conference is it's implying things that you don't necessarily want to imply. If you're a really big game like GTA or COD or something then it's fine, but for something like DA you never want to even softly imply, you have to be really careful about potentially softly implying that this is a Microsoft exclusive or a Sony exclusive. They could do it, if Microsoft made the deal sweet enough, there's always that possibility. But it's a lot easier for the really big games, you're never gonna be confused that GTA is Microsoft exclusive or that COD is a Sony exclusive, but you could make that mistake with DA, and they'd want to be very careful not to make that happen. But it could happen, but I doubt it."

Chat asked "So for whoever ends up giving the live presentation - would you have any advice for them? I imagine it's a stressful time." Mark replied, "Live, it is stressful, it's interesting though because the press conferences, the stage press conferences, you have a live audience but it's a lot quieter than say doing a PowerPoint presentation to a roomful of say 50 people. So in a way it's a lot easier, but you have to kind've get over the fact that there's 3000 people in the room with you. But if you can then it's easier than a normal presentation, because you can just practise and get smooth. Now EA practises a lot for their press conferences, which is good if you're nervous, but it does have a tendency to kind've squeeze a lot of the authenticity out of the presentation style. You can really see that in the Anthem one where it's me and Casey Hudson. We practised that like fifty times. Maybe not fifty times. At least a couple of times. It's not a good format. It takes a format that's supposed to be authentic and on the fly and turns it into something where all of the spontaneity has been squeezed out of the thing. I do think authenticity is the key, but the problem with authenticity is sometimes you get someone like at TGA saying that the Oscars are garbage. So EA would rather have 20% less authenticity, with 50% less chance of someone going massively off-script. I actually don't agree, I think it's the wrong tradeoff, but they would rather take the safe route."

Chat said "I feel like the Warden and Darkspawn story arcs have taken a back seat to the templars and mages. Do you think it's likely they will ever revisit the Blight threads?" Mark replied "I think the Blight will be probably relevant."

"I would be very surprised if the Architect showed up in DA:D. They could collapse the quantum of him though, if they wanted to bring him back, they would just do that. If he was killed, he body-hopped, same as Corypheus did. They could do that. I don't think they will."

"Isabela is quite quantum."

"Boss design like the Mother in Awakening definitely would not fly today."

"Any of the books that happen after a game are canon only so much in that they, the events that happen in them are treated as happening, but they aren't necessarily treated as 'whose alive and whose dead', for canon. But things that happen before stuff, like The Calling, I think are treated as fully canon. Like I think Absolution will be treated as canon, like Fairbanks will be dead. There's nothing in there that violates any possible worldstate. But sort've like, from a canon perspective, there's sort've like several layers. There's, what is, base canon, in terms of what we choose, like fully canon would mean it applies, is canon for everyone. Whereas there's also the, like, what is the default, what is default canon, what is written to. But if things that can potentially be violated by different playstates, the writers will tend to try to write away from them so that we don't suddenly have something happening that violates your playthrough. So something that can be true for everyone is more likely to occur. Something that might happen for someone else, I mean, obviously that's been violated, like Leliana shows up even if she's dead in DA:I, but that's why it's lampshaded. So that if you kill her, it's explained why she's alive. Masked Empire is fully canon for the same reason, because it doesn't have any way of violating anything. Doesn't mean that some things that are presented aren't recontextualized, but."

"RPGs don't demo [at conferences and events] super-well because they require so much context. The best I ever saw honestly was probably, I saw Skyrim once at an E3 but I didn't play it. They'd set it up in such a way that when you were standing in line to play it or just kinda walking by you could see other people playing it. I actually didn't play it at that E3. Standing there for five or ten minutes watching other people play it was probably the best RPG demo I've ever seen, because you were distant from it, so you kind've accepted a little bit less context. So you kinda want that, but you can't really get that, so you either ended up doing what BioWare usually does which is a behind-closed-doors 45 minute demo, which gives the context, but you can only get a certain number of people through it. Or you have something that's really tight for stage. When demo-ing an RPG you need to set up the story, the conflict, but you also need to somehow sort've establish how this plays. With a shooter you kind've know. Do you show character generation in an RPG demo? You never do but kind've people care about that a lot so you kinda should."

"One of the best [demos] from a story perspective that I ever saw was Mass Effect 2, it showed the beginning of the game, the bit with you walking through, the bit where Shepard dies, and showed it as if it was the end of the game. So a big misdirection. But I think that you kind've have to do some sort've, and I guess we did something, not as effective, but kind've the same in DA:I where we showed Future Redcliffe essentially as an ending of the game or as something that would happen."

"The PAX demo of DA:I was the game as we understood it at the time. A lot of stuff we showed at PAX ended up not getting into the final game, so people get mad when demos misrepresent the game, but sometimes that's happening because the game changes after the demo. Not because it was a lie, it was the truth at the moment, it's much more likely to happen with an RPG than it is to happen with other things. With shooters you might get something like big fidelity degradation but you're unlikely to get significant changes to mechanics."

"Hira in Absolution starts out being really bad at [levitating/flying on a disc], and then gets really good in like a later episode, I feel like she should've, or I guess it's in the same episode, she's way better all of a sudden at levitating, at flying."

[source]

He also talked more generally about DA:O and the franchise and things in general. These bits are collected under a cut due to length -

Chat said "I still say Velanna would have made way more sense for turning Justice into Vengeance." Mark said "Yeah, Velanna definitely has a lot more revenge in her than Anders does at this point." Chat then commented "Like, if it was about justice for the elves, that would have been a better fit for Velanna." Mark replied "Yeah it wouldn't have made sense for DAII, like what is she doing in Kirkwall?"

"With darkspawn [structures and items] it's always a little over, there's a lot of decoration for something darkspawn cobble together"

"Awakening is a bit blobby"

In the Mother's Lair, chat said "The lair is the same as the place Morrigan found the eluvian. Is this on purpose or just asset reuse?" Mark replied "I think it was asset reuse"

"The Sacred Ashes trailer was made by Blur. Blur is not cheap. I don't think you can compare it with in-game cutscenes"

Chat asked "Was the thrown dagger mechanic in Mark of the Assassin too large a file packet to be in the base game? It changed everything for rogues." Mark replied, "It didn't exist in the base game, it was added just to give them a ranged weapon, it's not that it couldn't fit. Why didn't it get put back in? It's not so much that it was definitely going to be big, but it would be hard to know for sure without very carefully testing the whole game all over again. Because it is extra memory. Some of the stuff in Awakening for example does actually blow memory on consoles on the main game if you take it back, which, there was some way you could do that. It did something bad, so it had to be changed"

When the Architect appears to the Warden before the confrontation with the Mother, chat mentioned that he doesn't mention how the Fifth Blight started and refers to being "born". Chat said "I wonder if the Architect is just a magister like Corypheus? He says he was 'born' but maybe that's just a play on words." Mark said "At this point he's acting like he doesn't remember. Yeah, he's acting like he doesn't know what he is. Yeah I don't think you learn any of that stuff here. Does he not know/remember? Or is he hiding it?"

Chat said "I've never killed Leliana, what was the explanation in DA:I for her being alive?" Mark replied "The explanation is pretty loose but it's basically, the Urn was right there so it brought her back to life. Though it is possible that you decapitate her in that fight, so that is a bit of a stretch in certain circumstances."

"Solas is the master of 'didn't think this through'"

"It wasn't that it wasn't being contemplated, DA was just never intended to be a series. DA:O was always conceived of as a standalone game, which is why there are all these weird things in the end screens of DA:O, especially where it's like 'oh, you know, the entire world fell into a volcano'. By the time that DA:O was coming out, EA wanted a sequel. It was actually before EA that it was conceived of as a single franchise, it was to work on a sequel to DAII before DA:O was even out. That's when/why I came on. So it wasn't, what became DAII wasn't what was being worked on in that time. The SW:TOR delay made DAII, but it didn't make there be a sequel"

"I don't know if they'll ever do a Dragon Age legendary edition. EA does not like spending money. With DA:O you kinda have to decide if you're remastering or remaking. If you're remastering, you just let all of the iffy bits stand"

"A lot of the end screens in DA:O and Awakening, they're causing weird things for the future. The one I used to bring up a lot was the werewolves. You could literally end DA:O with werewolves just rampaging over parts of Ferelden. Or there's also like a potential dwarven civil war coming."

"DA:I was definitely considering collapsing the quantum state as much as it could, whereas DA:O doesn't care, it's just like whatever, make the world be a completely ridiculous quantum state, you're basically not guaranteed that anyone makes it through this alive"

"The problem with Oghren in Awakening is it's like they rewind him back to how he is when you meet him, so it undoes everything. Oghren is very 2D in Awakening"

"An RPG is more like a buffet, it's about providing a lot of features and you engage with some of them, you kind've like some of them, you can tolerate some of them, you don't engage with other ones. Whereas a lot of other game genres are much more about excellent execution on your core loop. An RPG isn't really about that as much. I think that's to some degree one of the problems with Anthem has, is that, you know, it's made by a company that's used to 70 B features combining into an A+ feature. And for a looter shooter it's not really that, it's two or three A features combining into an A+ feature. So there's just a friction in some of the pieces of Anthem that are fine for RPGs but not fine for a looter shooter. And you know, looter shooters aren't even the pinnacle of that"

[source]

(pls note that in places there is a bit of paraphrasing of the info, the best source is always the primary source with full quotes in their original context)

[csny]

i don’t know how to word this in a way that doesn’t just sound like “video games used to GOOD and now they’re BAD!” but like there’s definitely something about the perceived desire for realism in most mass-market new games that just makes them… boring. and i don’t mean specifically the graphics. yesterday i was playing tony hawk pro skater 4 on xbox and in instantly started creating my own character. i was smiling and laughing the whole time. there were all sorts of fun and funny accessories and you could make your face look so busted and weird and it just brought back such good times. even while playing, my brother was laughing nearly on the verge of tears seeing me in his split screen falling my my neck and blood splatting out of my nose. i went home and immediately bought tony hawk 1 + 2 on switch REMASTERED and when i started making my character i bored-quitted when i saw like 20 different real life Vans you can wear. i ended up just playing as tony, assuming i could put him in like even just a bucket hat and flip flops at some point, only to find out you cannot dress him up. he can only wear pre designed REAL LIFE tony hawk outfits. :( to me, gaming is about driving the cars in forza directly at each other at 200mph and seeing what happens. it’s about sending the fifa goalie out onto the field to pretend to be a real soccer player or torturing your sims. even the fact that cheat codes used to be so prevalent was sooo fun. if i’m wrong i don’t want to be right. i mean if you really want to see a textbook downfall of fun, look at every wwe 2k game in order.

[wososhit]

Fifa (Mapi x Reader)

You and Mapi were laying on the couch watching the end of a football game. Your legs rested on her lap as she look absently traced patterns on your thigh.

A final whistle through the speakers alerted you of the end. Getting up slowly you grabbed the 2 white controllers that sat underneath the tv.

“What do you want to play” you asked as you handed her the controller.

“Fifa” Mapi said excitedly. You smiled at the fact that on her day off from professional football she wanted to watch and play football video games.

As Mapi selects Fifa you allow your eyes to trace the defenders tattoos. Even though she had countless you had managed to memorize every centimeter and curve of the ink.

A knee bumping into yours broke you out of your trance. Redirecting your focus to the screen you see that Mapi had set up a game against each other.

You quickly get to work setting up your team, teasingly taking care not to chose the player sitting next to you.

When you looked at Mapi’s screen you saw she made herself captain and constructed the rest of her team with real life teammates.

“Ready?“ you asked as you confirmed your team.

“Yep” Mapi responded starting the game.

“Let’s add some stakes” Mapi said with a cocky grin.

“Sure”

“Alright winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser”

“Deal”

You blushed at the bluntness of her words and the way she playfully winked before shaking her hand.

Both of you were incredibly competitive and the bet only made it stronger. You had scored a goal in the first half while Mapi still had zero.

It wasn’t until the half time stats that she realized only one Maria Leon jersey was on the field.

“Babe I’m not on your team” she pouted while pointing to your back line.

“You’d be on the winning team either way then” you pointed out while choosing a half time sub.

The second half the game was almost finished and you were now tied 1-1. Assuming the game would go into extra time you planned to see out the final minutes conservatively.

That when you felt Mapi’s hand rest on your knee. You glanced over and saw she was only holding the controller with her right hand.

“Mapi” you warned, knowing her plan already.

She didn’t respond but began slowly creeping her hand higher while somehow managing to still play. You bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to focus for the last 5 minutes.

Mapi had won 2-1 with a late injury time winner. You would say she was playing dirty if anyone asked. The smug look on her face returned as she dramatically placed the controller onto the ottoman in front of you.

“Anything I want” she said, her hand still on your thigh.

“You got lucky” you stated petulantly, crossing your arms over your chest. You really were a sore loser.

“I am very lucky” Mapi stated, closing the space between you with a kiss that had you melting into her.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Hey uh remember when I did retrospectives of Last Week Tonight episodes? Let's bring it back to 140.

Last Lee Tonight (wherein I'm definitely showing United Passions at my next bad movie night) Season One, Episode Six

(original air date: 6/8/2014) Major topics covered: FIFA, Bashar al-Assad's incredible iTunes library

"And speaking of Germans losing things, it was the 70th anniversary of D-Day this week."

It's really nice to throw this show back on again, on a note unrelated to the purpose of this project. I don't talk much about myself but it's been a rough few months with work scheduling, my chronic illnesses, and my mental health. For every "I'm taking a very spontaneous and ill-thought-out trip to New York to see John Oliver WOOO!" moment, there's been at least five "why can't I catch a break"s. When I'm not being beaten down by the collective forces of capitalism, I genuinely haven't been watching much John at all, mainly in an effort to play the large backlog of video games and read the large pile of books lying around my house. I've been moderately successful there (hey y'all should give Cassette Beasts a go, it's delightful), but there's nothing like going back home, so to speak. (I hesitate to call LWT a comfort show for me, given that it's basically A Record of the Decline of the United States in Real Time, but it kinda serves that function to some degree. I am a psychopath.)

Where we last left off in... May, Jesus Christ, I'm so bad at scheduling and writing and content creation - when we last left off in May at Episode 5, things were finally starting to coalesce into the modern LWT experience. We had our first viral segment on Net Neutrality, the first time a segment was uploaded in full to the LWT YouTube, and an opening news roundup that was starting to feel more thoughtful and themed. This episode continues that theme and gives us our second big viral topic.

There is a variant on the desk-slapping here, where John doesn't do it to open the show, but does a milder version of it to get the audience to shut up so he can move on with doing the show. One of my favorite things about him is his constant desire to barrel through clapping or any audience praise of anything he's done at a given moment in time and this opener is a pretty good example of that.

We open on John calling the week disappointing because California Chrome, a horse competing for the Triple Crown, did not win the Triple Crown. You can tell this is an early episode of LWT because there is no prerequisite horse-fucking/bestiality joke, just John angrily saying "fuck that horse" about Tonalist, the horse that defeated California Chrome. All of these horses sound like indie bands from my college years. I feel like Tonalist opened when I saw MGMT live.

We then move into German Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. This gives John an opportunity to plumb one of his favorite comedic depths, making fun of the musicality, smoothness, and romanticism of the German language. A German man used his lifeline to call Chancellor Merkle, who, thankfully, did not answer, as she was busy running Germany.

This transitions into China hiding the events of Tiananmen Square from their populace, including by censoring the Internet.

Attempts by protestors to use different trending words - and to put facts about Tiananmen Square in a sex tape - to get around that were also clamped down on, leading to this absolutely glorious screenshot of John's hypothetical romance novel:

I feel like someone on Reddit probably wrote When Spring Turns to Summer recently.

We also learn that Friends is incredibly popular with Chinese youth. I'm not really shocked by this, Friends has a weird international reach. I know multiple Korean idols who learned English partially through watching Friends. The fact that there's a Chinese replica of Central Perk? That's wild. The show edits a Friends clip to include historical facts about the massacre, and then we move to our central story.

I'm a big fan of whenever John talks about FIFA and football in general. Recently in one of her "posts relevant to my interests", @tellthemeerkatsitsfine noted that there's a strain with John and his contemporaries with them being nerds who really wanted to be jocks, and I think that dichotomy really helps John come off credibly when he talks about the deep-rooted corruption in this particular organization. The sport is something that is literally rooted into him, hardwired as something he deeply cares about... but there's the rest of it to consider.

In my opinion, someone who deeply loves something can really be the best at describing everything wrong with it. You don't really find the grime if you're only on the surface of something. I know that critical observation of a fandom while in said fandom is in short supply these days, but I wish it was more common.

Anyways. I think FIFA's corruption and grotesqueries are pretty known in 2023, but at the time, knowledge of their fuckery wasn't as widespread. Socially, we've definitely spoken a lot more about the cost-benefit analysis of the Olympics and taxpayer-funded stadiums, which is comparative to John's opening about the issues with FIFA and claims that World Cups bring money to the areas hosting them. (Not true!) Other items I'd completely forgotten about, like FIFA Court and their boardroom looking like something out of Dr. Strangelove.

The "And Now This" is "Chris Matthews Reminds Everyone Who He Used to Work For". (Answer: Tip O'Neill.) My abiding memory of Chris Matthews is Zell Miller accusing him of beating a woman and challenging him to a duel at the 2004 Republican National Convention.

SNL had a pretty great sketch of this where Will Forte played Miller that I can't find right now. PISTOLS AT DAAAAAAAAWN MATTHEWS!!!!

The final segment is on Bashar al-Assad's campaign of terror against Syria, rigged electioneering, and chemical warfare. More importantly, al-Assad's life history and iTunes library are discussed.

This was also the subject of the classic Bugle episode 187, which has a chance to go far more in depth about his favorite music, like "Sexy and I Know It". (Andy Zaltzman describing Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes as a doubles tennis group is one of my favorite Bugle moments of all time incidentally.)

Right Said Fred coming out to perform an anti-Assad version of "I'm Too Sexy" gives us the first time John has had a celebrity come out basically to troll one single person, and thus almost the cornerstones of modern LWT have been established. Eagerly awaiting the first bestiality joke. Also, really love the changed lyrics, they put a hell of a lot of effort into this one. I wanna see Right Said Fred live now.

Random notes:

Lee will continue sexualizing one (1) older man damn it: light blue and dark blue checked shirt, black tie, and black jacket? I know I've said red is John's color but light blue is a very close second, 10/10

I feel like I made up for not doing these for two months by writing about five year's worth of unnecessary analysis of this damn episode. Hopefully you enjoyed it!

It was amazing seeing an ESPN ad for something not handegg-related. -groan-

LWT YouTube is still a bit confused, as we did get the two major topics as their own videos... and then 1 minute of the FIFA section as its own minisode. I really would love to know the logic behind why there specific jokes were isolated like this in the beginning of the show's airing.

My sausage, if anyone cares, is the Korean idol industry. It's an absolute cataclysmic nightmare and yet there's a lot there personally that changed me and a lot that I love out of it. It's complicated. Fuck SM Entertainment.

A reminder that John's LMFAO fandom has endured for a decade longer than the band itself lasted: