#finally done one of these after being on tumblr for nearly two years lmao

[leemontoast]

Mostly moved to @artisanfuckery

But I'll still be active a bit on here :)

My ao3

About me

My name is Zed, but you can call me Lee or Leemon as well.

My pronouns are she/her!

I'm neurodivergent, having being diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia.

I'm an artist, I like to do da drawings and da photos and da models.

My interests

Minecraft Severs of Intrest

QSMP, Hermitcraft, Life Series, DSMP, OSMP

Main POVs

Philza, FitMC, Pactw, Technoblade, Joel Smallishbeans, PearlescentMoon, Goodtimeswithscar, Zedaph

Other media of intrest

Avatar: The Last Airbender!, Good Omens, Dr who

Nerdge topics

The London tube map :)))

Was this too long? I think it might have been too long

Some poggers quick fire tags below >:)

| #lees art for my art |

| #lee writes for my various writing(normally fanfiction) |

| #lees speaks for my ramblings, such as character analysis |

| #lees screenshots for my screenshots I've taken, as a self appointed screenshot gremlin I take this very seriously u _ u |

| #lee liveblogs for my liveblogging |

| #lees comments for my longer comments on reblogs|

[stillwinterair]

Howdy kids

My name is Dee! It's not the name I went by for most of my years on Tumblr, but it's the one everyone knows me as. You might remember my url as nyriad, visovari... I went by a bunch of others too, but those are the only two I seem to remember now 😅

The last time I was on Tumblr, I was in the middle of a very difficult period of my life that I didn't really have the tools or support to navigate. But sometimes you gotta go a lil wacky and make some fresh new regrets so you can grow up a lil bit wiser and sexier

I quit the internet pretty much cold turkey for a while and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I spent a year pretty much focusing on nothing but my immediate surroundings, living in my own skin, learning how to love myself. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being myself, and have grown a lot more connected to the earth.

In my time away, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which even just the diagnosis has significantly improved almost every facet of my life. I've gotten so many new tools and so much new language to express myself and my needs. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me and let go of a lot of shame that I held around myself, my work flow, my ability to focus, my needs for rest, etc. As I've met more people with ADHD, I've grown a lot more empowered and confident. I'm still figuring out what medication works for me (Adderall and Concerta are hell incarnate; Ritalin and Vyvanse are the bee's knees). It's been revolutionary and healing, honestly. Reading the book "Driven to Distraction" was an important first step that I recommend to everyone who's ever thought they might have ADHD, or if you were like me, always felt stupid and slow and always wondered why you never could quite get around to doing all the things you want to do.

I am also currently pursuing a diagnosis for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, as per my doctor's suggestion. I won't get into it too much here, but it is a chronic illness that has made the last year pretty difficult. I have a lot of severe chronic joint pain and lethargy, and it's been... a lot. I'm starting physical therapy soon. This part isn't fun to talk about, but it's becoming an important part of my identity.

I've also met the love of my life, my soon-to-be fiancee, Nathalie! We were inseparable pretty much from the day we met, and spent a year as best friends. And then after that year the sexual tension became too much to handle, and now another year later, here we are, stupidly in love, utterly obsessed with each other, turning every single day into a fun, wacky, new adventure lmao. We've built the most beautiful, trusting, communicative, intimate relationship I've ever experienced and I am so filled with pride and joy and love and happiness every day. We're still best friends -- no force on this earth could ever get us to shut up when we're in the same room. She just fills me with butterflies and glee and light. Nat has this burning desire to create in whatever the most tactile medium she can find is. She loves mechanisms and fibers and all of the ways different materials interact with each other. She inspires me every day to be more open and honest and to pursue whatever creative venture has caught my interest, and I do the same for her. We dance together, create together, and share big emotions and life goals and it's just the most beautiful thing I've ever felt, and this paragraph could go on forever if I don't end it right now

I've also finally started to settle into my writing flow. I've got a space opera that's really beginning to take shape and I'm pretty proud of what it's turning into :) I also have a fantasy saga that's following a few steps behind. Both are things I've been working on for nearly a decade in fits and spurts, but I've done more work on them in the last year than in all previous years combined. I've gotten into more artistic mediums as well: oil painting, photography, beading, and so on. And very into fashion, kind of. Y'all should see my wardrobe these days -- bright colors, crazy patterns, wacky silhouettes. I feel like I finally look like myself. I'm currently rocking a purple mullet and a mustache, so... yeah, I'm having fun with it

I'm not sure how many of my old friends and mutuals are still hanging around, but I wanted to say hey, track a few of you down, and give a little update on how things are going for me post-Tumblr. I am alive, and I'm pretty happy these days. Some days I miss it here, and while I'll never come back in the same capacity as I used to, I wanted to reconnect with some of my old friends that I used to talk to and hang around with every day! I'm gonna poke around over the next while and see who's still around :) honestly I still think about some of y'all on the daily, and I got too curious about how my old friends were doing.

If you want to keep in touch, I'm on Instagram as deehollandaise. I'm on Discord much less often, but if you want to connect there, shoot me a message and I'll share the deets. Warning that I am just straight up not involved in any fandom stuff these days. It's just not for me anymore.

I will be retiring this blog in the new year, setting the whole dang thing to private and probably starting a new one with which to share some of my creative projects. I'll let y'all know about it before that happens.

I don't know, this is all kinda word vomit, I guess I just wanted to let all my old friends know that I'm still here and that I'm finally figuring myself out. I've got a lot to be proud of and grateful for and I've barely scratched the surface, so I'll leave off with some recent photos. Have a hot & sweaty 2024, you sexy things 😘

- Dee

[douwatahima]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

thank you @thermoskind for tagging me!

three four ships: look, i tried to narrow this down to three but i thought of these four and got sad at the thought of not including them all so y'all are getting an extra one.

doumeki/watanuki/himawari (xxxholic) - MY BABIES WHO I LITERALLY NAMED MYSELF AFTER!!! listen, my son watanuki deserves to have a stoic but protective boyfriend and a sunshiney girlfriend who hug him lots and help him see he's worth loving. AND my daughter himawari deserves to be loved without fear of accidentally doing harm. AND my son doumeki deserves to be with the people he cares about despite the fact that they're both self sacrificing as fuck. this is the trio of my dreams and i will love them until i die.

satoshi/daisuke (dn angel) - so like...this ship is from a manga that a) isn't popular and b) i would not recommend despite the fact that it had a vice grip on me as a fourteen year old. that being said these two anime boys are truly THE BLUEPRINT against which i compared all other ships for YEARS. like, there was a time where how much i loved a ship could be directly correlated to how much they reminded me of satoshi and daisuke. they were IT. and this ship truly gave us everything! the romeo and juliet parallels of them coming from feuding families!!! the enemies to friends (to lovers in my heart) of it all!!! they are THEE fire and ice ship!!! THEE sunshine one and stoic one!!! literally never talk to me about the canonical dn angel ending i want to believe in my imagined ending where they were allowed to be in love.

nico/karolina (runaways) - this is specifically about the comic book version but the tv show version is also good! i remember reading the first few comics series like...a decade ago and OHHHH MAN these two messy girls really got me. i remember reading the first conversation that implied karolina was a lesbian and becoming the living embodiment of this emoji 👀. and then nico's whole mess of a sexuality crisis after karolina leaves? poetic cinema if i've ever seen it. i spent so many years holding a torch for these two that when they actually got together in the comics in 2018 i legit bawled my eyes out. i read the words "i'm not confused anymore, karrie. i'm not scared. i know what i want" and i DIED. their first kiss has been the background on my phone for nearly five years. they are my everything i am soooo serious.

ed/stede (ofmd) - OH YOU KNOW THE GAY PIRATES HAD TO BE HERE. when i say they rewired my brain that is in no way and exaggeration. i can vividly recall scrolling through tumblr and seeing how much people were talking about this show and thinking "okay but is it really gay or is this just another tumblr thing?" LIKE. I HAD NO IDEA. staying up until two a.m. to watch episodes 9 and 10 and feeling every human emotion all at once is a moment i will never recreate. i could've done anything that night. i could've fought god and won. it's ten months later and i still think about these two every fucking day. i truly can't wait to see more of them. david jenkins thank you for my life.

first ever ship:

arnold/helga (hey arnold) - i was like...seven and didn't know what fandom was yet but i watched every episode with baited breath waiting for these two to get together lmao. the romeo and juliet episode is burned into my brain for all time. when the jungle movie came out and they finally got together after OVER A DECADE of waiting i literally went out and bought a cake to celebrate.

last song:

grace kelly by felix hagan & the family - what can i say? this song is a bop!

last film:

glass onion - listen, i would watch benoit blanc solve murders for another fifty movies and never get bored. also janelle monae i am free on thursday if you are also free on thursday and want to meet up on thursday when i am free.

currently reading:

i'm between books at the moment but the one i most recently finished was lost boy by christina henry. it was genuinely the most five out of ten book i've ever read. like...not bad by any means but so meh i have no words.

my plan is to read the magicians by lev grossman next because i miss those characters more than i can say but like hell am i gonna watch the show again after...all that. i heard the books are worse soooooo we'll see how far i get.

currently watching:

the mayfair witches - i recently watched the first two episodes and i really enjoyed them! i've never read the books so everything is new and exciting to me. i'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes!

currently consuming:

a caramilk bar. ❤

currently craving:

the ofmd season 2 trailer. please djenks i need to see ed again my crops are dying.

tagging:

i feel like most of the people i would tag have already done this so instead i'm gonna do a cop out and say if you're reading this consider yourself tagged!

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

be that as it May

hellooo, friends foes and strangers alike! using this title for a tumblr post for second time running and i'm actually early by one day (it's May 30th, so yep) genuinely proud of myself :) hahahaha

well, this post i think it's gonna be a monthly-journal-and-a-serious-note one... a word vomit guaranteed, so apologies in advance and bear with me. May was yet another rollercoaster but in another context i can't disclose yet (and not sure when i can let the secret out in the open or confirm/deny the rumors lol but for 2nd time: it’s not me getting engaged ok 🤣 i don’t even have anyone in mind) but yeah the highlight: not getting coldplay Jakarta ticket.

i'm so damn livid at so many things like 😭😭😭😭😭 first of all the scalpers deliberately buying the tickets just so they can resell it in exorbitant prices, the FOMO crowd for taking my spot as an actual coldplay fan (though i'm not nearly as mad as i am at the scalpers because well, they just want to see the band that i also happen to love), and the coldplay management team for planning a stupid Asia/Oceania leg tour route that doesn't make sense (who the hell decided to go for only a day at Jakarta then straight to Perth which is miles away and then back to Malaysia?)

anyways i'm counting on people suddenly having other events or important business to attend to so there will be tickets i can buy secondhand. not going to appease scalpers by panic buying i want to see them suffer a huge loss and will be rendered to resort selling it half price on d-day or something. i feel like i deserve the tickets so bad the concert day is literally eleven days before my birthday in November 😭 i know i can make it happen i WILL see my band like i did last time!!! 😤

the remainder of May is just me working on the project, preparing stuffs and literally running all over Jakarta to get things done, me overthinking, nothing new (read: clowning as always) not trying to be cryptic but just like coldplay said in Speed of Sound: "every chance that you get is the chance you seize." wish me luck, pals!

my Brisbane based cousin who's going to get married in August sent us the fabric needed to make the outfit for the special day and i'm getting even more hyped up!!! it's not me who's going to say my vows and tie my life to the other half of my soul but i'm super happy. can't wait for Bandung trip 2.0 yippeee

okay here we're entering the serious note territory... for once, for so long, i'm letting myself to just let go of the words. kinda sure some of you have probably caught on, or thought i'm a daft dimbo for this but yes: it's about him. on May 25th, two years ago i spoke to him for the very last time. full reassurance from my part to say that no, it's not about me not being able to move on or blah blah blah, it's quite the opposite actually.

writing this down, on here, feels like some sort of purge. it's not in a bad way either, i am glad i can finally talk about it openly, with no sense of remorse or regret or hatred or resentment. right now, after two years of as much space and time given to think and process it through, remembering him and the days that build the very core of memories i still keep in my mind feels like rereading my favorite book.

it's like me and him are just some other characters that i cheer and cherish for, i long and support and yearn for, and the story ends with a nice closure chapter. a complete book. to me personally, it's like reading Harry Potter. such a huge part of my life, yet i'm no longer there.

i no longer stutter or taken aback or get the chills whenever something in the present pulls me back into a particular memory of him. i embrace it with open arms and with a smile on my face. i reread my last letter to him and actually edited it (my editor self is just, you know, being an editor) i'm as unabashed and unbothered to open my old chats with him (i kinda cheated oops sorry if you read this lmao i just never feel the need to delete the chats because let's be fr i don't need to reread it, i still can recall what we talked about just from memory. that's me and my insanely biased brain, ha!) and actually laugh and cringe (mostly on my part, because it was so clear i tried to catch his attention by doing literally everything omg i was so embarrasing 🤣😭😂) (also for disclaimer, i never opened our chatrooms, not until this month, so i also kinda kept my part of the agreement) but it's fun nonetheless. nothing that happened between us will ever tarnish or alter the fact that i was genuinely happy and the joy filled memories will always be there.

it's a bit hilarious how my 'strategy' is to avoid him like a plague. left zero gap for any chance to even get a glimpse of him or his life. basically two years of absolutely nothing of him (except for some weird twist like how his mum and my mum are still members of the same whatsapp group, though they don't interact much) in a glance it does seem like i'm trying to run away from reality, but i swear it's just my way of dealing with problem at hand, since i suppose fourteen years worth of feelings can't be extinguished in a lazy attempt with feeble manner. yet that doesn't mean i'm gonna play pretend and fake an amnesia, i still think about him sometimes. i guess it's just part of being human, with weaknesses and all.

you've probably wondered, yes: i still do love him with all my heart. just in a different way, and for sure, from far away. see what i'm talking about? he's just like an endearing fictional character you have grown to love and will always be with you (yes i'm a huge Potterhead lol) it's platonic, sometimes familial love, just constantly running in the background. i always do that to the people i regard highly in my life, so again, nothing new.

i still count him as one of my selected few best friends though imprudent and tactless he can be because he sometimes is also the voice of reason to my farfetched always anxious self (also because he knows too much of my secrets thanks to me being biased and a pathological overshare-r) if God ever made destiny to make another funny turn, i would've liked us to be an actual, functional, supportive friends. long live the friends!

Nietzsche is right about without forgetting it's quite impossible to live at all, but i digress. if you’ve watched Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind, you’ll know what i’m talking about; i guess at some point things just don't have any explanation (yet) of why it happens ever so, you just carry on with it. archiving it somewhere in a vault.

so. even though i know he will never read this... hey you, i just want to say i'm so grateful to have you as friend, though things don't always go smoothly. honored to have been graced by your presence in my life, though just for a limited time as it is. i hope you're always happy, healthy, and loved!

phew, i got super emotional. maybe because it's been two years, i can't believe i managed to stand for what is right this long! (and will continue to do so) i am here from all the things i've gone through :) yet another coldplay quote because i just love this band so much, and i think this song is my song. please read the lyrics as you listen to it, best feeling ever.

it's cathartic, a form of healing, alleviating, to put these, all my feelings, out in the open. this is what i live with and it is my life. i'm content with how everything is going and i think it's all settled now, all good. now full throttle focusing on the project, if things go my way, i'll tell you guys all about it on my July post. see you then! 💙

[idy-ll-ique]

Paparazzi.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: TOO META, m*sturbation, mentions of s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me... Y/N Y/L/N writes Marvel fanfictions. One day, Sebastian stumbles upon her account and, unable to help himself, reads all the stuff she has written about him. He didn't mean to fall so hard for her but he does. How can he not? She has shown him parts of himself that he never even knew existed.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so a few weeks ago I read a similar (but dark) fanfic and I really wanted to write a softer version of it... Enjoy!

---

Same old, boring routine.

Y/N hit post and slumped against the headrest of her bed, sighing. She waited; a minute, then two passed and she noticed that someone had liked her post. She smiled to herself as she kept her phone away. Though boring, she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Y/N… well, she was a university student first and foremost but she was also a writer.

Being a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she had started writing fanfictions a few years ago. She posted them on Tumblr, where her blog, though not very well-known, stood out enough for her posts to get around 800-1000 likes per post. She loved it; she loved writing, she loved posting her stories and especially, she loved the feedback.

Sometimes people were rude, but most times, the reviews she got were fantastic. She read each and every one of them, smiling goofily as people freaked out over her fanfictions. It warmed her heart. A smile automatically blooming on her face, Y/N lay down on the bed and decided to go to sleep, it being almost 3 am.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was up at the same time, tossing and turning in his bed, restless.

Sebastian sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. He drank some water and lay down again, closing his eyes but it was like sleep was mad at him. Refused to be anywhere near him. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone from the nightstand, deciding to go through Instagram, hoping he'd finally fall asleep to the glare of the screen.

As he logged into his account, he skipped the activity page and went straight to the explore page. Bored, he continued scrolling until his eyes landed on a specific photo. And the breath escaped his lungs when he clicked on it; the woman in the picture was absolutely gorgeous. He just couldn't resist going to her page, smiling widely when he read her bio.

It gave him her basic information; her name, her age, the university she attended. But what caught his eye was the link below the bio. My Marvel Fanfictions Master List. Marvel fanfictions? She was a writer? Smirking, he clicked on the link and it took him to Tumblr. Of course, he'd heard of the site, but didn't have an account on there. At 3 am, his mind sure wasn't working right.

A post popped up on the screen, the same master list she had mentioned earlier. And his eyes bulged out of their sockets; damn, those are a lot of fanfictions. He went through the whole thing, smirking again when he noticed that she had written the most fanfictions about him. Not Bucky Barnes, no, Sebastian Stan.

He clicked on the first one. The date of posting was way back, in 2019. He started reading; nothing about it felt weird to him; he was intrigued, if anything. And as he continued reading, he couldn't help but imagine her being in the stead of the female protagonist. Her, the writer. The woman whose picture had made him end up reading in the first place.

When he finished the story, his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Wow, she really has a way with words. And he had also noticed how in the author's note, she used a lot of slang but reading the story had made him realize that she had an amazing, extensive vocabulary. He went back to the master list and clicked on the latest post under his name.

Posted: 15 minutes ago.

His breath hitched in his throat when he read the warnings: there was going to be sexual intercourse in this one. For one moment, he hesitated; did he really want to read this? "Oh fuck it," he huffed and scrolled, starting to read. The more he read, the more his shaft twitched in his pants. He wasn't really like that during… but oh damn, he wasn't complaining.

"Oh, Seb…"

His hand slid down and he rubbed himself through his boxers, unable to take his eyes off the text in front of him. His strokes got harder and faster as the sex got steamier. "Ungh, I'm gonna cum—" And he suddenly came in his boxers, groaning. Slumping down on the bed, he quickly finished reading the rest of it, going back to the master list.

He took a screenshot with the account's name in it and then went back to her Instagram account to take another screenshot. Keeping his phone away, he slipped out of his boxers, cleaned himself and pulled the covers on top of him, finally feeling tired enough to fall asleep.

---

Y/N was walking across the campus of her university, going to the cafeteria when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she opened Tumblr to read the message someone had sent her just then.

his-username: Hi there! I was binging your account last night, you write really well

your-username: Omg thank you!!!! I really appreciate it, I love getting feedback! 🥺❤

his-username: You're welcome! Especially your latest post, that was really good ;)

your-username: hehe 😈 glad you liked it!

Smiling widely, she kept her phone away and continued walking, not knowing that the person who had texted her was the same man she had written about. Sebastian smiled to himself when he read her text. After getting up in the morning, the first thing he had done was install Tumblr on his phone. Then he made an account for himself.

Figuring out the app was easy; he found out that there was an option to keep your liked posts and the accounts you followed hidden, and selected it immediately. No one needed to know what he did on the app. Then he went back to her account, pressed the follow button and started binge-reading her fanfictions again. Last night had he read only two, and that had left him wanting more.

Funny how much things can change in a night. He liked and reblogged all her posts without a second thought; he even read all her Bucky Barnes posts. She understood his character so well, put him on what he thought was an undeserved pedestal while writing about him. Some of the stories were AUs, which he found out stood for Alternate Universes. Mostly mobster or mafia stuff.

He had the day off, and he spent the entire time cooped up in his apartment, on his bed, reading. The more he read, the more he started fawning over her, over the version of him that she put out to the world. Dominating, suave and just perfect. He loved it. At the end of the day, he decided to text her again, hoping she wouldn't think he was weird or find out the truth.

his-username: do you wanna be friends, maybe? I'm new to the app, don't really have any friends here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That was a lie, he knew Mark Ruffalo had an active Tumblr account. But it's not like he could tell him.

your-username: Yes sure!!!! I was also thinking of making some friends on this app lol

his-username: You don't have any on here? But you've been here for years, haven't you?

your-username: haha yeah, but I don't really reach out to people much. Sometimes people leave their feedbacks on my posts, text me but that's that

his-username: Ohhh

his-username: well, let's start with names. Mine's Sebastian

your-username: Really?????? omg that's so cool lmaooooooo (didn't think you were a boy but 😳👀)

his-username: Not a boy, I'm a man 😤😂

your-username: 🤣 im y/n, btw

his-username: Y/N, that's a nice name

your-username: thank you!!!! So, what do you do?

his-username: nothing really that interesting, I'm in theatre

your-username: theatre is nice! I'm studying at [university] in New York lmao

his-username: Wait you're in New York? So am I!

your-username: ASDFHKSHKGF that's awesome!!! also I noticed that you've been going through my account the whole day 😏 notifications upon notifications keeping my phone busy

his-username: Oopsie?

your-username: 😂😂 I really don't mind, it was great! Despite the amount of likes on my posts, I only have a few loyal followers lmao gaining one more felt nice

your-username: You a big fan of Sebastian Stan? Cuz I noticed that you were only reading his and Bucky's fics 👀

Sebastian's face heated up.

his-username: kinda yeah 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

your-username: Cool cool cool, I'm a big fan of his too!!!! also got a crush on him but whatever 😳

Sebastian smirked at his phone. A crush on him, huh? That… was acceptable. He suddenly felt his cocky side coming out; the one she described in nearly all her fanfictions.

his-username: wouldn't blame ya, I mean, look at him. You have also written the most fics about him and Bucky

your-username: right????? damn that man has raised my standards. Anyway, I gtg now, I have to finish a paper before midnight. ttyl!

his-username: Bye! 👋🏻

He kept his phone away and took in a deep breath. This was the most fun he had had in years, and he was not letting her go so easy. He realized he was quickly falling for her; rather unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. Look at her. She looks like a goddamn angel, writes like one, makes him feel like one, do you really expect him not to fall for her? That's insane.

---

Months passed by like a breeze. Y/N and Sebastian had become very good friends, and he knew his way around words just enough to keep her from finding out his identity while not lying to her. Y/N also appreciated his friendship, because he was the one to whom she could rant about her most favorite man in the world— Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes, she thought about how weird of a coincidence it was that her new friend and the actor shared the same names, but then she used to brush it off; that was a common name, right? They talked for hours on end; Sebastian (her friend, not the actor) was extremely witty, smart and fun to talk to, she had to admit. Sebastian felt the same way.

His feelings had worsened. Y/N entirely owned his heart now. Somedays, he'd just go on Instagram, go to her account— her username memorized by him— and stare at her photos until he grew tired; he'd never get tired of looking at her beautiful face but his stiff body afterwards begged to differ. She was just so Elysian. He longed for the moment when he could meet her in real life.

His personality had also changed majorly, and people had caught on. Especially his Marvel co-stars, who knew him to be introverted, shy and, in Anthony Mackie's words, "boring". They were surprised at his sudden change in attitude; he knew his worth and Y/N had helped tremendously in finding it. Now, all those adjectives that she used in her fanfictions fit him perfectly.

Sebastian was never tempted to read fanfictions about himself from authors other than Y/N. No, he only loved her work. He was sure no one else could write as beautifully as she did, he was her #1 fan. Y/N even sent him funny Marvel memes she found on the app and he used to enjoy them heartily; God, the others have no idea what they're missing out on. Our fans are awesome.

Everything was going well.

Until one day.

Sebastian was getting bored at home, so he decided to go to the nearby library to clear his mind. He had read not one book in the past few months, hung up on Y/N's fanfictions. At this point, he was obsessed with her and he knew it. It was nothing dark, per se, it was— it was similar to how Y/N was attracted to Sebastian. How she was a fan of his work.

Just the same. He was a fan of her work in the same way. Just how she was attracted to him, he was attracted to her. Walking into the library that he visited often, he gave the librarian a smile and ventured further into the dark place. He checked his watch; the library closed at 12 am, it was currently 9:30 pm.

Not many people were around, heck, nobody was around. He thought himself to be all alone until he heard it. A sigh, coming from a few aisles away. He walked in that direction and peeked around the corner, freezing when he saw the other person. Y/N? Her books were strewn all across the table as she sat alone at the booth, rubbing her temples.

"You okay?"

She looked up and her breath caught in her throat. I'm dreaming. This is not real. Now I know for a fact that Sebastian Stan is not standing in front of me, asking me if I'm— "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I, uh— I'm— h-hi," she stammered and he almost chuckled. "Hi." She gulped visibly and blinked at the table, not meeting his eyes.

"Can I have a seat?" He wants to sit with me?! "Y-Yes, sure, sir," she blurted out and he easily slid into the booth next to her. "Hey, please, call me Sebastian. What's your name?" He gave her a friendly smile, even though all he wanted to do was push her back into the booth and kiss her wildly. His shaft twitched just by thinking about it; Y/N was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you, I'm… I'm a fan," she admitted, playing with the ring she wore on her left thumb. I'm your fan too, sweetheart, the biggest one. "Y/N, nice name. You come here often? I haven't really seen you around." She shook her head. "Oh no no, I moved to this part of the city just a week ago, this is my first time here. The library is cozy," she shrugged, easing out of her tense position.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, I know, this place is awesome. Got all my favorite books here," he chuckled and she smiled at him. "What's all this?" A groan left her lips. "Ugh, stupid university work. I have to write a book report but I don't even know what to write about." He smiled gently. "Well, I have a few favorite books, would you like some suggestions?"

"Oh, please! Tell me!"

He started listing some of his favorite works and Y/N noted the names down until he said the last name. At that, she froze. That's the name of my latest— She looked up but he had a smile on his face. "Oh, and the last one is by my favorite author." He took a pause. "Y/N Y/L/N." She froze completely, staring at the man with her jaw dropped.

Sebastian grinned. "We finally meet, Y/N, I've been waiting for months." Her mouth opened and closed several times as she recalled every interaction she had had with her online best friend— scratch that— her celebrity crush. All the times she had confessed her love for Sebastian Stan, all the dirty and inappropriate memes that she'd sent him…

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she exhaled shakily. "It was you," she croaked out, "On Tumblr, the account— I'm so sorry—" Sebastian frowned in confusion when she blinked back sudden tears, a few still rolling down her cheeks as shame replaced embarrassment. "Y/N, please don't cry…" She looked up at him, his figure blurry due to her tears.

"You've read everything, haven't you? I just— I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable—" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Y/N couldn't hug back, though she appreciated the hug especially since it came from him. "You don't know how much you mean to me, doll," he mumbled into her shoulder, using the nickname she often used in the stories she wrote about him. He grew accustomed to it easily.

"Huh?"

He pulled away to wipe her tears. "It was an accident," he admitted, "But I stumbled onto your Instagram account from my explore page. Then I clicked on your account, saw that you wrote Marvel fanfictions and I just couldn't resist the urge to read what you had written. Blame it on 3 am me, to be honest. You're a great writer, and I was immediately drawn to your works. They're awesome.

"They've helped me so much in the past few months. You see this changed attitude that everyone's been talking about lately? All because of you, sweetheart. I'm sorry for keeping my identity secret, but after reading your works, I knew I had to get closer to you. I made the Tumblr account just for you, just so I could talk to you. I'm sorry for lying, but thank you."

Y/N dumbfoundedly stared at him for a few moments, her heart beat getting steady with each thump. Here was a man she admired, loved more than anyone else in the world, telling her that he harbored the same feelings for her. How crazy was that?! Not trusting her words, she simply pulled him into another hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Can I kiss you, doll?"

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded, shyly biting her lip. Grinning at the endearing gesture, Sebastian cupped her face and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss grew hungry in a matter of seconds, and Y/N responded just as eagerly. His hands slid down to her waist and tugged on it, pulling her on his lap. She straddled his thighs as they continued kissing.

"Fuck," he groaned when they finally pulled away from each other, out of breath and panting. "You see what you do to me, doll?" Sebastian spoke huskily as he took her hand, placing it right on top of the tent that was forming in his pants. "Oh," Y/N whimpered when she felt him, the sound going straight to his shaft. "How about I take you home and we recreate some of the scenes from your stories, hm?"

"O-Okay."

"Good girl."

---

A/N: What a meta experience 🤡 Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[angry-geese]

hello, how are you? so i don't remember very well how it went, but yesterday i found your tumblr and i was amazed and you write so well 🥺💗

but then i'm a bucciarati simp (i will never get over your end) and i would like to know if you can write a scenario where the reader is just an ordinary citizen who admires bucciarati (because he helped her a while ago) and wants to join the passione and he's just against it because he doesn't want to expose her to danger, he just wants to know her real reason, so he uses his ability to find out if she's lying, which is very helpful as there's a sexual tension there and well, everything ends up in sex.

ok that was very specific lmao maybe if you want to change or are not willing to write, that's fine with me.

anyway thanks, you are amazing 💗💗

aww thank you <3

don't ever worry about being too specific, I always love seeing what other people come up with :)

Tomorrow - Bruno Bucciarati x Reader

warnings: nsfw/minors do not interact. mutual pining, fluff. minor mention of violence. unprotected sex, quickie, fingering, hickeys, hair pulling, body worship (??? if you squint???). afab reader.

word count: 1.7k

It's hard to believe it's almost been a year.

Your shop had been open for barely a month. When you first moved to your neighborhood, it was made known to you it was a dangerous place. But rent was low, and the building was just too perfect to pass up on. Not many places had room for a bakery, and a space to live upstairs.

You were in over your head. But you were too stubborn to admit it.

It had caught his eye the moment he saw it. Maybe it was its cozy nature; a small shop tucked away, full of plants, a cat dozing off in the window. Or it could have been your inviting smile, the way you lit up as the door opened.

Every day he got the same order. By the end of the first week, you made sure to have it ready for him.

From the very beginning you faced issues. A business like yours attracted a lot of attention; good and bad. The local gangs knew you were bringing in money. They wanted a cut, and you weren't willing to give it to them.

You should have given it to them.

You were warned. They told you they'd come back. You were warned but didn't listen.

They trashed your shop. You swept broken glass from your floors for weeks before it finally came out. They were persistent; more than you ever thought. When you stood up to them, they threatened to kill you. They probably would have, had Bruno not stepped in. While you were willing to lay down your life for your business, he wasn't going to let you.

You're not quite sure what Bruno did, but you never saw those men again.

You never charged him for food again. If it meant he would keep coming back to your shop, you would do a lot of things. You said you owed him. At first, he was willing to accept. Weeks went on as you still refused his money. It got to the point where he felt bad. He hid money around your apartment hoping that you'd take the hint. But you never did.

You could never pay him back. Bruno claims you already have—with all the free food—but truly it's a debt that can't be repaid. Putting it lightly, you owe him your life.

The mess was cleaned up, but you'd never feel safe in your home again.

Over the past few months, Bruno had become one of your closest—if not your closest—friend. His little free time was spent at your shop. The two of you could talk for hours about nothing in particular. Business would come and go, but he was always there. If you called, he'd come running. You really didn't have to call. At the first sign of problems he was by your side.

Bruno's influence only works so much. He could only pay off those thugs for so long.

He was worried when you missed his call this morning.

His stomach sinks as he sees the broken glass.

You're not crying. You really don't look too upset. To you, this is the final nail in your coffin. You only notice him as he stops. You motion for him to sit next to you on the steps.

The people in this town are like vultures. They can sense any bit of fortune. Any money you have can't be kept for long. Stashing it away is never a good idea.

"What happened?" He asks.

"I didn't get my protection fees paid in time."

He takes a seat next to you. For the first time in his life, he feels speechless. As far as he knew, he'd taken care of this. Those thugs would have hell to pay.

"I want to join." You say.

"What?"

"I'm taking Polpo's test." You say. "I want to join Passione."

"Why?"

It's finally occurred to you how close your faces are.

You ball up your apron and toss it aside. You don't have a better answer for him. As much as you wish you did; you don't. You want to tell him anything but the truth. Really, he feels betrayed. Has he not done enough? Has this all gone to waste? He's tried all he can to keep you away from the gangs.

It seems it wasn't enough.

His grip on your arm tightens. You don’t dare look him in the eyes. As if you couldn't be more obvious. You nearly jump out of your skin as he licks a long stripe up your cheek. Instantly your face goes red. Your cheeks burn at the heat that sends right to your core. You're stammering out a few nonsensical sentence fragments.

"That's the taste of a liar, y/n."

You whip around to face him. "I want to be able to defend myself!"

The look in his eyes isn't what you expect. It's more a look of betrayal than anything. To be honest, you didn't expect him to have any reaction at all. He's rather adamant about keeping you away from Passione.

"I can protect you." His voice has gone oddly soft. "I'll take care of you."

Bruno's grip on your arms loosens.

He leans in for a kiss. It's soft, but his warmth lingers on your lips long after he's pulled away. He smells like fancy cologne, and almost like a restaurant, strangely enough. It's a weird, comforting mix of cooked food and expensive men's cologne.

He's wanted to do this since he first met you.

His hands move to cup your cheeks. They're so warm. It's hard to resist his touch. He looks at you with such longing that it makes your chest swell with affection. The heat in your face returns, but it's in less of a lewd manner. He admires every dip and curve of your clothed body; how your waist is cinched in whenever you wear your apron, how your strong hands work pastry dough into shape.

He leans in for another kiss. It's deeper this time, and leaves a longing ache in your chest. The rough muscle of his tongue presses past your lips. He tastes faintly of alcohol.

You're too impatient to get to your room. He'll settle on bending you over your apartment's kitchen counter. He wants to take his time with you, but for now, he's content with this. Maybe there'll be a second time.

His long fingers work to undo the buttons of your pants. You don't take a lot of prep work. You're already soaked. Two of his fingers press into you. They’re long, but fairly thin, and slide right into you. His fingers stroke against your g-spot as his thumb works circles around your clit. It doesn’t take him long to figure out just what makes you weak. Bruno has you a shaking, moaning mess in no time.

You lean against the counter, propping yourself up on your elbows. He wastes no time in freeing himself from his pants. His cock is built like the rest of him; long and dark. It’s girthy, but not intimidatingly big. The hairs towards the base are neatly trimmed, and the same color as the hair on his head. A vein runs up the bottom, only getting more prominent as he gets harder. He shoves your pants down to your knees.

Bruno groans as he sheathes himself in you. The feeling of your warm, wet cunt is intoxicating. Maybe he’s a bit more pent up than he thought. His hand buries in your hair. He leans forward to nip at your earlobe. Bruno coos words of praise into your ear, telling you how good you take him, how good you feel around him.

He rolls his hips against yours in desperate, quick motions. Bruno can't decide what to do with his hands. They're gripping your breasts, then your hips, then settling in your hair. He’ll have you like this again, he’s certain of it.

Heat pools in your stomach. His touch leaves you with an aching need for more.

"Fuck- I've wanted this for so long," he says, "you’re so beautiful.”

His fingers dig into your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He sucks a dark mark into your shoulder—one where you won’t be able to see it. It sends a whole new heat to your core. While his cock isn't the biggest, it curves in just a way that makes your toes curl.

He makes it known just what he thinks about you; babbling about how good you feel around him, about how long he’s wanted to do this.

The sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room. If you had any neighbors, you'd certainly be getting noise complaints. Your moans are like music to his ears. You don't worry about being quiet. Let others hear you, what do you care?

"Harder Bruno!" You cry out.

He can't resist something as beautiful as you.

His free hand moves to your clit, tracing circles around the bundle of nerves. He works you up in a way you never knew possible. Your skin feels feverish, and sensitive to the touch. The heat in your stomach only gets more unbearable. You want to beg him to cum inside. You need him to cum inside. Your mind is too hazy to think of much else but him and the way he fucks into you. He leaves none of your sweet spots unstroked.

Something in you snaps. There’s not one specific thing that sends you over the edge; it's everything. You clench around him as you cum, crying out. The way you suck him back in is almost enough to send him over the edge.

His thrusts get sloppier as he nears his own orgasm. He scrambles against the counter for purchase, gripping the edge of it so tight his knuckles turn white. He doesn't want to risk cumming inside. He pulls out, giving himself a few pumps before cumming into his hand.

Bruno presses a kiss to the exposed flesh of your shoulder. Your skin is sticky with sweat. A tired, but pleased look spreads across your face. His hair tickles your neck. The sight of your shaky, sleepy form is almost enough to make him hard again.

You lean back into him, giggling. “We made a mess…”

“Want to make another?”

"Are you suggesting a round two?” It’s a joke, but you carry some seriousness behind it.

"Anything for you,"

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

Hey! Idk if your prompt requests are still open (if not ignore this lmao) but if yes, could you do a namjoon x reader and "im pregnant" Thank you!💕

Baby Shoes

Baby shoes littered the inside of your shared apartment. From the front door all the way to the bedroom, random pair of tiny shoes waited to be discovered. Their ‘discover’ currently far from home working hard on BTS’s next upcomming album unware of what awaited when he finally came home. Above you the clock ticked down the minutes for Namjoon’s arrival. Each tick of the hand grinded more and more on your nerves, tempting you to call Namjoon and tell him to arrive home quickly.

    However you forced yourself to remain patient. BTS’s latest comeback was only weeks away meaning your boyfriend and his bandmates were strapped for time as usual. Between perfecting song, dance moves, setting up interviews, and doing their usual commitments such as v-lives, you knew how stressed the boys felt. Namjoon, himself barely came home nowadays; choosing to sleep at the studio rather than coming home only to return in a mere hour or two. You felt lonely at times, but it couldn’t be helped.

  Namjoon was an idol after all. You knew where his commitments lied the moment you agreed to date him, and although occasionally you dreamt of dating someone with a less hectic job, you would never trade him. Beside it’s not like he didn’t apologize constantly for not being home or not being calling as much. Or spoiled you rotten the minutes things calmed down. All in all your guys relationship was a good one.

  That said though you felt surprised to find out you were pregnant a few days ago. With Namjoon so busy the two of you barely had time to see each other let alone be intimate. However you guessed those few quickies in the shower or on the couch of his studio finally caught up to you two. Your hand cradled your stomach noting the slight bump growing. This certainly wasn’t a planned pregnancy, but you held no doubt Namjoon would love the baby as much as you did already. Especially since he and you spoke often about having children together in the future.

    “Baby shoes?” Namjoon voice came from the front door. “There’s baby shoes in my front door hyung.”

   You covered your mouth trying to hold back your laughter at Namjoon’s amazed voice. You couldn’t blow your hiding spot just yet. Not when there were several pairs left for him to find. “No they are definitely not mine-they have Jungkook’s character on them, Kooky.” there was a pause before Namjoon said in a slightly annoyed voice. “Yeah, I’m sure their not his either.”

   Now you were practically dying on the floor attempting not to laugh. You could guess which one of the older boys it was on the phone with him. “She doesn’t have any nephews or nieces. Maybe a cousin?” Namjoon mumbled, before gasping loudly. “There’s more! They’re all over my house, hyung.”

    His footsteps continued further down the apartment. The sound of his shoes hitting the wooden floor telling you that Namjoon in his stupor forgotten to take them off. “Tata, Chimmy, Mang, nearly every  fourth one is a BT21 character. Where did these all come from? I don’t think we sell baby shoes for BT21.”

   Another pause, followed by. “I doubt she kidnapped a kid, hyung.”

You snorted at this. It must be Yoongi, he’s talking too.

     “But maybe she’s trying to tell me something. We have be discussing children lately. Maybe this is a clue that (Y/N) want to try?” Namjoon replied, his voice now right outside your guys’ bedroom door. 

  You listened quietly breath held as he came up to the finally pair of shoes. Unlike the rest, this pair placed in a pretty blue box with a note attached to them. Vaguely you wondered if he would recognize the significance of them. How they were the same shoes Namjoon bought all those years ago, before even meeting you. Finally the moment of truth came in a hoarse whisper, “I got to go hyung.”

    The door swung open revealing Namjoon dressed in his usual black shirt, comfy hoodie and pair of blue jeans. He looked a mess between the dark circles under his eyes, the messy hair, and clear signs of having only done the bare minimum to care for himself over these past few days. However it was all forgettable in the awake of Namjoon tear filled eyes. He stared at you, one hand holding the pair of baby shoes, the other clutching the note tightly against his chest.

   “Is this? Are you? Are we?” Namjoon asked, desperate.

You nodded, smiling softly. “Surprise! I’m pregnant.” 

    Namjoon moved forward, nearly tumbling over his feet as he swooped you into his arms. A flurry of kisses pressed themselves into your hair as he held you tightly. “We’re going to be parents. I’m going to be a dad! This is wonderful, (Y/N)! This is...this is amazing. Thank you so much, my love.”

   You giggled, stroking his head. “I’m glad you like it. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you, but couldn’t find the right words. I spent days scrolling through pinterest and tumblr trying to come up with the perfect way to tell you, but nothing felt right.”

   Namjoon kissed your forehead, before slowly slinking down to nuzzle your stomach “I loved it. I love you. And most of all I love our baby. I can’t wait until they come. I swear all do my best to take care of you and them for the rest of our lives.”

     You could only smile picturing the day when Namjoon would finally be able to put those shoes onto your guys’ baby.

[vulpesvalentine]

how has each of your crushes positively affected you and how have you positively affected them

Acinonyx: He appeared and just… showed me how much he could love me, right off the bat, no questions asked. He had no reason NOT to love me and it's… really helping my self-esteem, ngl. As for me, uhhh… I guess just loving him back? Or maybe it was me helping him figure out he Existed? Cause at first it was thought he was a kintype for Cyanocitta actually! But he's his own person ^w^

Bovine: He introduced me to SO many fandoms and just things we're into, and he's shown me how I should be treated, while being beside me through so much. For me, I think I just positively affect him in little ways? Like I make most of his meals, I drive us to go shopping, stuff like that!

Canine: They were my first real love, and we're still going nearly 13 years later. Need I say more? We grew TOGETHER. Because trust me, all you minors who are looking here, you DO in fact change after high school. I'm a much different person than I was at 16, when we started dating. He accepted me before anyone else did, my own mother couldn't accept who I was, but he never had a bad reaction. I found out I was autistic, found out I was poly, he knew I was bi/pan before we started dating lmao, all this! He just accepted me without question.. I love him so much On the flip side, I think I've done the same for him? When they said they felt more nonbinary, I accepted it! When they fell in love with their friend, I did my damnest to make it work out for us. Now he's dating me and her ^w^

Chrysocyon: Blae was the first one from the Helianthus system to reach out to me! We started talking like, by accident LMAO I was playing on the server I mod for Helianthus, and they hopped on on their account and was like "uh oh. I'm in front!" and we never looked back. On my side, I… don't know? I think I might be the first they were talking to outside of the system, or outside of blades other partners? (I'm not sure who if anyone else blae's dating LMAO)

Corvidae: Oh my god what HASNT she done for me??? So tiny trauma dump, I had a huge falling out when I broke up with my abusive ex, and two of my closest friends at the time blocked me and I haven't heard from them in two years now. WELL a few months after that happened, I met Corvidae and Cricetidae! …. And another person who also became a very close friend! Well, when that other friend had a huge breakdown and tried to break up the friend group, I lost Cricetidae (she was HEAVILY MANIPULATED by this ex friend), and Corvidae just.. stayed by my side. And god I love her so dearly for that. I was in a very bad place reliving what my ex did to me, and she was just… There. I think on my side, the most I did was like… Bring her to my chat? We were mutuals on tumblr and would send asks back and forth, and finally when I broke the silence and DMed her, I invited her to my chat. If she hadn't joined, who knows what would have happened??? But she did! And she's become such an important member alongside Cricetidae and I (they're both my mods who I bully nonstop <3) and it means the world to me to have her by my side!

Cricetidae: Okay god SHE INTRODUCED ME TO DREAMCATCHER and no I don't think I'll ever match her passion for those ladies (nor do I want to, it's cute seeing her all excited over her favorite groups hehe,,), I still listen to the songs and get all blushy and happy-kicky and excited, and I try to tell her when I'm thinking of her while listening to them because I can't NOT think of her (Also happens with a Very Specific Song, which I will only tell her if she asks <3) For me affecting her positively, I'm.. not exactly sure I'm in good standing to answer that? Like she means a LOT to me and I'm so happy to have her but lately I've done more hurting than helping. I wanna change that!!!

Cyanocitta: So Chrysocyon was like "Oh no. HES trying to front and idk how he's gonna feel about you." about Cyanocitta the first time we met! And it went wonderfully, he was saying he's my boyfriend and he loves me (this was BEFORE I WAS DATING HELIANTHUS BTW) and ^///^ aaa it was just… nice to be wanted….. My positive thing is… I kind of feed into his yandere thoughts and feelings! For the record, we're not REALLY yanderes, we're not trying to kill people and we're not actually possessive or anything about our partners, but <3 we talk about it like we ARE and we EXPLORE those feelings and talk about them!!!! and it's just nice to have a nice little outlet, and I give that to him!!

Helianthus: He's given me so much.. Like just KNOWING him and when we were first talking about dating, he introduced me to his polycule and I've made such GOOD friends there ^////^ they mean a lot to me! (Lookin' at you, panda) It was the ONLY reason I ever met these people too!!! I think the most I do for him though is like, okay I'm a moderator for a server he runs, and he calls me "my moderator" >///< and it makes me so happy to be helpful and active and all that!!! I play on the server a LOT and I handle issues here and there and I do a lot for him there!!

Tigris: He stood up for me when I needed it most. I had someone making VERY HORRIBLE accusations against me, and he defended me tooth and nail and that's how we became friends!!! In his words, I was a ray of light in his dark life! I kept giving him a reason to keep going, and he could go missing and come back and know I've been thinking of him and worrying about him, I love him so much and I miss him </3 I haven't heard from him in a while..

Ursa: She was there for me during my breakup with my ex. She defended me and talked to me through it, and I did the same for her when her ex broke up with her and was having a bunch of fucking issues. They've been there through SO MUCH we've been friends for such a long time. SHE EVEN MADE A WHOLE BLOG JUST FOR LOVING ME <3 ITS SO SWEET she made it when I was getting a bunch of hate asks after my ex dumped me (one guess who was sending them lmao)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! THIS ONE WAS NICE it actually helps my self-esteem to see myself as.. a positive influence??? lmao???

[raven-moon33]

Agh, sorry this is so late! I was planning on posting at least two more stories for #jttwfestival2020, so naturally my computer decided to break down the last few weeks of December. ;;

So, here is my exceedingly late contribution for Day #6: Make Your Own Bizarre AU! I will be cross-posting this on my AO3 profile, RavenMoon33, so feel free to check it out there as well.

This is a superhero AU (because I’m just a sucker for those tbh), so for some basic information:

Guanyin is a director/supervisor (think Nick Fury but better) working for the Lotus Syndicate (superhero agency) who goes under the codename Bodhisattva, Sanzang is one of her tech guys (think Q) whose codename is Monk, while the rest of the pilgrims are miscellaneous superheroes put together to be one of the Lotus Syndicates best superhero teams.

I’m already building up a bigger story and world for this (because I can’t seem to help myself apparently) and I do plan on continuing it with at least a few more parts/chapters. I’m not sure yet if I’ll be posting subsequent parts on Tumblr or if I’ll just keep them all on AO3 in a single story/series (purely out of laziness lmao) so keep an eye out for updates there if you like it.

Alright, ramble over. Please enjoy and let me know what you guys think!

“Monk, thank you for coming on such short notice. Please, take a seat.” Sanzang took a deep breath to hide his nerves and did as Guanyin bid him, sinking into the comfortable cushioned chair opposite her desk as well as he could with prickles of anxiety keeping his body tense and alert. He kept his briefcase clutched tightly to his chest as if it could be a barrier between them. 

“There’s no need to be so anxious,” she laughed, “I promise I didn’t call you here for anything bad.” He gave a pointed look to the tea set and trays of cookies and sweets positioned strategically on the desk, an obvious bribe if ever he saw one.

“Bodhisattva, the last time you called me in here like this you assigned me to the Five Finger Mountain case.” 

“Which turned out well, didn’t it?” She replied, sipping serenely at her tea. He blinked at her, flabbergasted, for a moment.

“I nearly died at least three times, nearly got fired, and spent a full month surviving in the woods on my own!” He stood up angrily when she just continued to stir her tea, pointing an accusing finger at her. “I’m just a tech guy, I wasn’t even supposed to be out on the field! What part of that is good?”

“The part where you rooted out dozens of spies in our network, exposed one of our highest-ranking members for corruption, and got half a dozen of our operatives out of enemy territory after they’d been held prisoner for years, all from your computer in the middle of a run-down shack in the woods?” 

He opened his mouth to protest, he had just been doing his job after all, but she cut him off before he could even start. 

“Or perhaps before that, when you helped save countless civilian lives by actively going out to the mountain site yourself and manually disabling the satellite gun before it could wipe out a quarter of the population, because no one else would listen to you and I was busy being framed for everything going wrong?” He sheepishly sunk down into his seat at her firm look, fighting the urge to hide his very red face in his hands. 

He couldn’t exactly brush the whole thing off as nothing with her sitting right there in front of him, knowing more about what exactly those two months had been like for him than anyone else did. She didn’t seem angry at least, the same as she had when he refused a promotion and the rewarded recognition the higher-ups offered him after it was all said and done. 

(He didn’t want the glory of being the person who wasn’t fast enough, smart enough, good enough to save the seventeen people who died between the time he figured out what was really going on and the time he finally gave up on The Lotus Syndicate getting anything done and going rogue. Three days, seventeen people- he should’ve been better. He didn’t want the operatives who made it out of there trying to thank him when they’d been stuck in a dark basement for months, some years, while he’d been off doing who knows what. He should’ve been better. He didn’t want the glory). 

But she at least understood, later, when he explained it to her, so she wasn’t angry anymore. He still couldn’t bear to meet her eyes though. Eventually, she took pity on him, handing him a steaming cup of tea. An olive branch. 

A few moments of silence passed.

“I was just doing my job.” He muttered at last, sullenly stirring sugar into his tea, accepting the silent apology for what it was. Neither of them liked to think too deeply about that time. She smiled gently at him, the warmth of it easing the tension out of his muscles. The tense air around them cleared.

“And you performed admirably. You are one of the best tech operatives in the business after all, if not the best.” He shook his head slightly, but didn’t try to protest. Questionable heroics aside, he was good at what he did, and they both knew it. “Which is why I’ve called you in here today. I have a new assignment for you.” 

He perked up when she placed a folder on the desk between them, eager to leave the shadowy confines of the past behind. Besides, he’d been stuck on filing duty for the past month thanks to Guanyin’s momentary absence and his temporary supervisor hating his guts for whatever reason, and he was bored.

“What is it?” He asked, even as he reached forward and plucked the folder off the desk.

“Have you heard of the Nomads?” He snorted and gave her a disbelieving look.

“No,” he drawled sarcastically, “I can’t say I’ve heard of our most powerful superhero team, the ones who have racked up almost half a trillion dollars in damages in the last year alone and who have single handedly caused the PR department to go on strike no less than three times in the last two years.” Her mouth twisted into a wry yet fond smile.

“They are a handful, but their results more than make up for their more… unique methods.”

“Reckless methods, more like it.” He muttered, starting to flip through the file when she only nodded serenely at him. “What about them?”

“I want you to be their new tech.” He nearly choked on his tea.

“You want me to what?!”

“Be their new tech.” She repeated firmly, setting down her teacup and fixing him with the no-nonsense look he knew better than to ignore. “They’ve become one of our most powerful assets in only two years, but any team without a good tech is basically flying blind. They’ve been doing good out on the field, but they’re not as new as they used to be. The enemy will start to figure out their weaknesses soon, and without a good operative they can trust to lead them well when they’re in dangerous situations, they have a pretty glaring one.”

“You’re not telling me they’ve been operating for two years without a tech?!” He asked incredulously.

“Of course not! I make sure they have a tech for every mission, but,” here she sighed and rubbed at her temple, and she must’ve been exceedingly stressed out if she was actually showing physical signs of it, “they’ve also managed to drive away every tech I’ve assigned to them within a month or flat out refuse to work with the ones who don’t run. They need a good operative, someone competent who won’t run away when the going gets tough, until I can find a more permanent replacement. The pickings are slim, and I want to avoid having to start poaching techs from other departments if I can help it.” 

She looked at him then, her eyes beseeching him in the way they only did when she was asking for a favor as a friend, and not as his boss. 

“You’re the best pick for the job, because you know what you’re doing and I know I can count on you to do it well.” He could feel himself wavering now, and he could tell she knew it too. “Please Sanzang, you’re the only person I can trust with this right now.” He sighed and slumped back in his chair, defeated.

“How long do you want me on this then?” 

“Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen-?!”

“Just until my assistant, Novice, gets back from his mission with the Jade Apprentices,” she interrupted, a hand raised in a plea for civility, “then you can have any position or assignment you want as thanks for taking this one on.” 

He paused, considering.

“Even at Thunderclap? You know I don’t like working on the field.” And a position at Thunderclap would practically guarantee he’d never have to go on the field again.

“Yes,” she nodded after a significant pause, though she didn’t seem particularly happy about it, “even at Thunderclap. You’ve more than earned it, if that’s what you truly want.” He sighed in relief and nodded. 

“Alright then. Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen months.” She agreed. “You can have the rest of today off, but you’ll be flying out to their main base in Beijing tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the relevant details tonight, but until then try to get some rest. You’ll need it.”

-

Sanzang did not rest. Once he got home (or rather, the hotel room he’d been living out of for the past few weeks- staying in the same place for too long made him nervous nowadays) he hunkered down in front of his computer monitors and spent the night doing research on the group he’d be spending the next year and a half babysitting.

The Nomads were made up of four members, each more powerful and dangerous than the next. 

Freefall, Red Sand, Nine-Toothed Boar, and last but certainly not least, their leader Great Sage. 

With the notable exception of Great Sage, each member of the group had been employed by the Lotus Syndicate for at least a few years before falling out of grace in one way or another, whether through an excessive amount of public damage getting them demoted to less than stellar positions in the Syndicate (Freefall and Red Sand) or the sheer amount of HR complaints getting them flat-out fired (Nine-Toothed Boar). 

The three of them were only reinstated as high-ranking superheroes after the Five Finger Mountain incident revealed a distressing amount of Lotus’ heroes to be corrupt, severely depleting the Syndicate’s fighting force and requiring many previously fired or demoted heroes to be reinstated (even if only temporarily).

 The three were put on a team with one of the Syndicate’s newest and most powerful superheroes (Great Sage, who as far as Sanzang could tell seemed to have popped up out of nowhere) both as a PR stunt (public damage and HR complaints or not, the three were still public favorites and no one was more popular in the public eye than the Great Sage himself) and as a way to keep a close eye on all of them, just in case.

Regardless of their rocky relationship with the Lotus Syndicate however, no one could deny they did amazing work. 

It seemed every week there was a new story popping up in headlines about their latest accomplishment in making the world a safer place; stopping bank robberies, rescuing hostages, uncovering shady gang operations, saving the entire world from some type of otherworldly threat, fetching cats stuck in trees- you name it, they’ve done it at least twice in the past six months alone. 

Sanzang couldn’t deny they did a lot of good, helped a lot of people, but even just looking at the reports on the damages left over from their altercations with criminals made a headache start throbbing behind his eyes. And he wasn’t even technically responsible for them yet! 

He sighed and started compiling folders on all four of them; their powers, their personalities, their greatest successes, their worst failures, every scrap of a clue to each one’s backstory. 

Forewarned is forearmed after all, and dammit, Sanzang was nothing if not prepared.

(Sanzang would soon come to learn that when it came to dealing with the Nomads, there was, in fact, no way to be prepared.)

[feyxhoon]

hi ! it’s em, back again after 2 months with (of course) jihoon ! long story short, tumblr had logged me out of my accounts for some reason and i couldn’t remember the info i used to log back in which resulted in him ‘disappearing’ for the past couple of months because of it. BUT he’s back and different in some ways than he was back then, one thing being that he’s now a vampire instead of a hunter in the song clan.. i have his profile and background done, but as for a plots page i think this time i’ll go with winging things because i’m too lazy to really think of things lately (really it’s easier for me to just brainstorm ideas with others). below i’ll list some basics/updates about hoon here and, as always, if you’d like to plot feel free to like this post and i’ll shoot you a dm ! (i also have twitter and dc if you’d prefer to plot on either of those so just ask and i’ll give those out ! :3)

{tw: mentions of family death, death, possible gore, blood}

from birth, up until two months ago, jihoon was human and also became a hunter for the song clan.

his ‘family’ was revealed to not really be his family, rather just family friends of his birth parents that died during a hunt gone wrong (mun just now realizing what i’ve done there... lmao)

when he was human, jihoon’s body was covered in scars which resulted in him always wearing long sleeves even in the summer time. since he was turned into a vampire, he’s still not used to the fact that the scars he’s had for YEARS are no longer there so he still tends to wear clothing to cover up, though occasionally he will wear short sleeves.

he’s a fledgling who was turned on july 29th of 2021 after he was sent on a hunt and was attacked from behind, being stabbed in the chest and left to die. (history repeating itself i guess?)

that night he was prepared to die, accepting his fate and actually pretty calm about the idea since it meant that he didn’t have to live in this world anymore, tired of being the ‘black sheep’ that everyone seemed to think of him as. that is until his sire showed up as he was losing consciousness and took it upon himself to turn jihoon as he was on the brink of death.

when jihoon woke up in the coffin he had been buried in, he was afraid. he was in full panic mode, scared that the whole hunt had been a dream and that someone had buried him alive as some sort of ‘prank’ to screw with him. it was then that he actually realized he might not be ready to die... at least that was his first few thoughts.

it was only when he was finally let out and he realized what was happening that he quickly took those thoughts back, becoming angry with the man who was now his sire. he didn’t want to become the same thing that he had been hunting, didn’t want to end up being a threat to the world because he couldn’t control his own hunger.

even the excuse he was given was something that made jihoon furious with the other vampire and only added on to his hate for the other.

in the first month, when he wasn’t learning self-control, jihoon would often attempt driving that stake he once used on other vampires through his own heart, however, each time he tried only ended up in him failing. he just couldn’t bring himself to follow through in the end and he wasn’t sure why.

everyone that had ever known jihoon, or at least even heart of him, thought (and still thinks) that he was dead. jihoon figures that they all ended up having some sort of celebration rather than mourned over him and he honestly didn’t care.

he still has moments where he can’t fully control himself, though he’s gotten a lot better than he was when he was first turned into the ‘monster' that he is now.

because he doesn’t fully trust himself, jihoon tends to stay away from overly crowded places, though with a big city like the one they live in, it’s nearly impossible to actually avoid such situations even when he just wants to go out late at night to get some fresh air and be away from the man he now has to live with.

he’s sort of (not really) upgraded his wardrobe just a bit, some clothing actually does have red but he still mostly wears black clothing.

he may have become a vampire but his humanity is still in tact and he’s glad that it is. jihoon doesn’t want to ever be in that situation where he ends up killing an innocent human, it’s his constant fear actually.

he tends to get as far away from the city as possible and goes to a location which has been abandoned over the years, a place he can actually go to just relax peacefully and not worry about harming a single soul.

this has gotten way too long so we’ll cut it off here for now.... lol just know he’s still suffering even in vamp form ! :D

[starlightinhumanform]

Breaking Point

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ships: Loceit (could be interpreted as platonic or romantic)

Summary: Sometimes being a light side just does’t cut it. After a particularly aggravating argument, Logan begins… changing. (Logan centric angst fic with guest appearances of most of the others,,,, but mostly Janus).

Warnings: Negativity/Coldness/Miscommunications Throughout, Mild Language Throughout, Some Mentions of Injury/Illness Used as Metaphors

Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

A/N: This was written for the wonderful Spring Fling event here on tumblr! It was so much fun and I can’t wait to participate again! I know I’ve been very inactive lately and I’m very sorry for that (mental illness can be a real kicker lmao), but I’m trying to get back into my groove of writing and posting!! Stay safe and healthy. I love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 Link   Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. Despite popular belief, he experienced them like any other side. The difference was his ability to tamp them down, keep them from clouding his logic; it was an ability he prided himself on. Sure, sometimes his anger got the better of him when the others were being far too ridiculous. But for the most part, he was clean, calculated, cool.

Right now, though, his head was pounding. Virgil was shouting hoarsely and Roman was yelling back even louder. Patton just whimpered, trying to get the two to stop fighting but failing miserably as he flinched back from both of their raised voices. Thomas stood in the middle of it all with glazed eyes.

And Logan, what was he doing? Standing to the side. Being completely useless, it seemed. He pressed his fingers against his temples and tried to massage away the pain. His efforts once again failed and he turned his attention back to the situation.

Thomas had to choose whether or not to go to a Broadway audition and wanted to consult with his sides to get their opinions on the opportunity. Unfortunately his plan had backfired and now the choice was even less clear. It was a debate, they were trying to make a decision— Logan should have been leading the entire thing. Instead, he had been shoved to the side as Virgil and Roman turned the discussion into a fight.

“It’s too big of a risk! If Thomas fails at this, he may never audition again. Think about how that would hurt Patton. Think about how it could ruin his whole career,” Virgil hissed.

Roman answered too clearly, over-pronouncing his words as he spat them out like they tasted as bitter as his tone, “You’re suffocating me. You’re keeping Thomas from achieving his dreams. Your worries are simply too much. If anything is going to ruin his career, it’s going to be you.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows and gave a cold laugh, “Oh, I’m sorry? I thought we agreed it was my job to protect Thomas? So why don’t you just back the hell up and remember your place.”

“My place? And where exactly would that be?”

“Safety comes before your stupid fantasies.”

“This isn’t even about safety! This is about you being a coward!”

The room went quiet. Quiet, not calm. It was like the moments of silent after a lightning strike when everyone holds their breath, waiting for the roar of thunder. Logan needed to interject before things got even worse and this was his best opportunity to do so.

He cleared his throat, “If you two would like to pause this illogical arguing for a moment, I would like to make a few points.”

All eyes turned on him. He was nearly taken aback by the amount of anger in both Virgil and Roman’s gazes, suddenly turned on him instead of each other. It burned against his skin as they both glared at him. Patton tried to give him a smile but it was far weaker than usual. Thomas’ eyes were the worst— dazed from all the yelling, confused and torn apart from his aspects disagreeing so violently. Logan felt like he had failed; failed them all, but especially Thomas. It was his job to keep order, to weigh the pros and cons, to unravel problems, to make things clear. And when the others needed him the most, he had let it all fall into the hands’ of chaos.

“I just think there are better ways to make this decision. You two have been yelling each other for over half an hour and it’s gotten nowhere.”

“Yeah, because he refuses to admit that he’s wrong!” Roman interrupted.

Logan gritted his teeth, “Please try to restrain yourself from talking over me.”

Virgil was the one to break in this time, “Logan, maybe this isn’t the type of argument that you belong in.”

“Not the- not the type of argument I belong in?” Logan could almost laugh, “This is the exact sort of discussion I need to be included in because otherwise we end up in a mess like this!”

“Logan,” Virgil growled, “I don’t think you’re understanding what’s going on here. This is an issue me and Roman need to settle. No matter what that means.”

“No matter what that means?? Are you even listening to yourself? That’s the sort of talking that causes disaster!”

“No, Virgil’s right about one thing,” Logan turned his attention to Roman as he was interrupted once again, “This is between the two of us. Don’t get yourself involved.”

“If I don’t get involved, you’re going to tear Thomas apart trying to get your ways!” Logan could feel his temper slipping away from him just as his control of the situation was slipping through his fingers. These idiots had their heads so far up their asses, they couldn’t even see the damage they were doing to everyone else.

“Logan!” Roman snapped his name to get his attention, “Maybe you should just go.”

He scoffed, “Go? You really think you can solve this problem by yourselves?”

“Go.”

Logan glanced at the stairwell where Virgil had snarled a singular syllable at him, “Excuse me?”

“He said to go,” Roman was glaring at him, “And, in this case, I agree with him.”

Logan’s mouth fell open. It was ridiculous. They needed him, but apparently they just couldn’t see it. They needed him, but they didn’t want him. He shook his head. A laugh was rising up his throat but he couldn’t figure out what was so funny.

He looked around the room, “You really want me to go? Fine then.”

Thomas and Patton both seemed distressed but said nothing to stop him. Roman and Virgil didn’t have to say anything; the anger boiling behind both of their stares communicated plenty.

And that was all he needed. Logan sunk out of the room without another word.

He reached the mindspace in a matter of seconds, appearing in the dining room. The laugh that had been trapped in his throat bubbled over and crashed to the floor as it morphed into a cry. He clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles mixed with sobs and spilled past his fingers, filling the quiet room with hiccuping whimpers. It was just too much for him to wrap his mind around. His beautiful, perfect mind. And somehow they had managed to reduced it to this— a wreck, an absolute mess, emotions crashing into each other and spilling over onto his face so he could do little more than grip the back of a chair until his knuckles were white and he couldn’t even see through the ocean in his eyes.

His skin felt hot as the tears rolled over his cheekbones and directly onto the floor. He was not a stranger to emotion, but this— whatever the hell “this” was— felt brand new. New like new boots, the type that leave your skin blistered and red and raw. His body was shaking and his stomach turned and he was sure that if he sobbed any harder he might start retching.

He felt so vulnerable; he was a scar that had been scratched at so many times it had finally ripped open and started bleeding again.

Logan was angry. Angrier than he had been in years. He just wanted to help. Why couldn’t they see that? Why wouldn’t they let him help? But more importantly, why couldn’t he help? Was he useless? Was he a tool that had no purpose, tossed aside by the others like a spare screw that didn’t fit anywhere?

“Logan?”

His head shot up, back straightening and squaring up in under a second. Janus was standing on the other side of the room like he had frozen in the middle of his movements. His eyebrows were woven together in what seemed like concern.

“You don’t look ok?” His expression was a painting of confusion.

Logan rubbed at his eyes from beneath his glasses, “I- I assure you, I’m perfectly fine.”

Janus just laughed, silky and self-satisfied as always but maybe a little softer than usual, “Lying’s kind of my thing, remember, Logan? You look... great.”

Logan let his head hang, not even trying to keep up appearances now that Janus had called him out. He glared at the other side from over the rim of his glasses, “Can I help you? Or are you done ridiculing me?”

Janus took a couple hesitant steps forward, tilting his head to the side like he was absolutely fascinated by Logan. He began speaking slowly but it was obvious from his intense stare that his focus was very far from the words leaving his mouth, “Ridiculing? Oh dear, no, that was not my intention. What’s the matter? Something must be incredibly wrong to have put you in such a state.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Logan snarled, “Am I not allowed to act as irrationally as the rest of you? Is sanity expected only of me? Maybe I’m tired of it! Do you understand how exhausting it is to carry the weight of responsibility with no one to lend a hand? In fact you all fight against me, pushing me downhill and spiraling Thomas further and further away from stability. Well, maybe I’m tired of it. Maybe I’m so damn tired of yelling until my voice is hoarse, just because I’m trying to look out for the well being of everyone else only to be discounted because ‘it’s not fun’ or because I couldn’t possibly understand, being the cold and unfeeling robot that I am. I am sick of it!”

“Logan, I’m going to need you to calm down.”

Logan blinked back into the present.

Janus was standing in front of him, hands raised to hold Logan’s face. Logan was startled to find his cheeks damp once again with tears beneath Janus’ quivering fingers. Janus was staring at him with a combination of fascination and terror.

“Logan do you know what’s happening?” Janus’ voice shook nearly as hard as his hands as he drew them back to his chest.

Logan could feel his forehead crease as he stared back at Janus, “What do you mean?”

Janus laughed but it had lost its honeyed qualities; just a humorless, sharp exhale, “Look around you.”

He raised his head at Janus’ cue, taking in the room around him. A glass that had left on the table was now broken into pieces. The glass of picture frames hung on the wall now lay shattered on the carpet. Items scattered on shelfs throughout had tipped over or rolled onto the floor.

Logan’s mouth fell open, “Did I— How— What— Did I do that?”

Janus nodded his head slowly like he wasn’t sure to believe it either, “The whole mindspace started shaking.”

“What does this mean?” Logan reached out slowly to pick up a shard of the glass. His hands trembled as he studied the piece, turning it between his fingers as if he could find an answer in its angular edges.

“Well, sometimes when a dark side is distressed enough, they can negatively affect the environment around them,” Janus had been speaking in slow, almost broken segments as if he had been constructing the sentence word by word, choosing carefully and cautiously. Now, though, he started rushing his words out like they burned his tongue, “You know, like the screaming thing Remus does or when Virgil makes the whole room go dark, that sort of thing.”

“Wait. Janus, you said ‘dark side.’ And don’t try to lie to me, I have a perfect memory and I know what you said.”

Janus winced and tried for a smile, “Yes, well...”

Logan arched one of his eyebrows, “You are aware that I’m not a dark side, yes? And unlike Virgil, I was never once in my existence a dark side.”

“No, no I know that,” He clasped and unclasped his hands together serval times as if the awkward movement could fill the even more awkward silence, “I’m implying that you might be becoming one?”

“Oh, please,” Logan scoffed, “Is that even possible? And how have I even done anything to deserve the title of being ‘dark’?”

Janus mirrored Logan’s raised brow, “Oh, and I’ve earned such a label? The point is, you’re starting to act more and more like us. Whether or not any of us are actually deserve that title is a debate for another day.”

Logan studied the face in front of him. Janus was a master of deception— of course he was— but in this moment he seemed completely open, completely genuine. And if Janus was being honest... well, that could be a bad thing.

He opened his mouth to speak but the words were slow to come to his tongue, “So, assuming this hypothetical you’ve proposed, how could this happen? How is such a shift even a possibility?”

Janus gave another humorless laugh but at least he didn’t sound terrified this time, “I really don’t have the answer to that one.”

Logan stared done at the floor, eyes roaming the pattern of the carpet but his mind incredibly far away. Was that possible? Could a side go “bad”? More importantly, could he go bad? Was he bad? Had he failed Thomas so much, hurt the others so much, provided so little use yet so much ill-will that—

“If anyone has the answers, it’s going to be you.”

Janus’ voice broke through Logan’s thoughts, “What?”

Janus pulled out two chairs from underneath the table and faced them towards each other. He took a seat in one and pointed at the other, “Something is obviously wrong. Tell me what’s going on.”

Logan stumbled into the chair, stunned by the commanding note in Janus’ tone. He sat down and stared blankly across at the other side, unsure of where to even start. He pursed his lips for a moment, “Why does it matter?”

“Because you knocked my favourite mug off of its shelf and I need answers,” Janus rolled his eyes, “If what I think is happening is happening, that’s a huge change that could affect everyone— including Thomas. Now stop avoiding the question.”

Logan glared down at his hands gripping each other in his lap. His vocabulary had abandoned him. This simply was not a familiar situation to him. He shared facts, advice, outside information; but feelings, his subjective truth? That stayed locked away.

“Let’s start with why you’re crying, ok?” Janus’ voice was gentle but his question was still very clearly an instruction.

Logan jerked his head up as he realized there were tears running down his face. Again. He cursed under his breath as he rubbed them away, “I don’t even know. I guess I’m just not used to doing this, this sharing of emotions.”

Janus nodded, “And why aren’t you with the others? It sounds like there’s quite an argument going on up there. You usually jump right into the fray.”

“I don’t know,” Logan pinched his nose and tried to ignore the burning ache in his chest. It was strange, the emotion so raw and intense that it had the effect of a physical wound. It was like the tissue of his rib cage was being torn apart, “I tried to join in, to try and add at least a little reason to the discussion... but they refused to listen.”

“Logan, have they ever listened you about anything?”

He let his head fall back down to avoid looking at Janus, “Not really. I can’t help but think I’ve failed Thomas.”

Janus placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, “No, no that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know if the others took your advice.”

Logan raised his gaze to make eye contact with Janus, “Well, sometimes.”

“But do you have to work to get them to even hear you?”

Logan laughed, “Oh, yeah.”

“And to they ever listen to you about you? Do they even ask?”

“Why would they?” Logan paused, “Wait, should they?”

Janus stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, pity swimming in his eyes, “I think I see the problem. I think your negative interactions with the others is causing you to turn into a dark side. It’s almost like a defense mechanism or something.”

“But my interactions with the others haven’t been negative. They can be frustrating, yes, but they’re the closest things to friends that I would ever have. At the very least, they are my companions. Right?”

Janus grimaced, “From what you were saying about ten seconds ago, their treatment of you hasn’t exactly been positive. I’m not say they’re not your friends, just that... maybe they don’t act like it as much as they should. They don’t seem value you or what you have to say.”

“But I need them to,” Logan spoke slowly, deep in thought, “How else am I supposed to help Thomas, to fulfill my purpose?”

Janus said nothing and Logan continued he train of thought, “I guess it makes perfect sense for me to do what’s necessary to be heard. I can’t protect Thomas from their violent irrationality if they don’t listen to me. I guess this is just the natural course of action.”

Janus seemed hesitant as he nodded, “I mean... yes, I guess so.”

“Besides—,” Logan shrugged, “—maybe being a dark side isn’t so bad.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan smirked, “Sometimes you need to raise your voice to be heard; if I need to scare the others a little to cut through the chaos, then so be it. And it seems that I’ve been given the perfect tool to do so.”

“Logan, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea... ”

But Janus’ voice was already fading away as Logan rose back into the argument. He had been ignored for the last time. Never again would he be brushed to the side for being the cold outcast. They would listen to him— whether they liked it or not.

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. And right now, he was smiling. Grinning, in fact— ear to ear, power flickering in his eyes. He was the voice of reason and no longer would he be an accessory to their foolishness.

If you want to be added to my Sanders Sides fic taglist, just send an ask or reply to this post :p 

~ @phan-fander @abi-beehive @fandomfan315 @cas-is-a-hunter @reggieleigh07 @endless-rain-of-words @vicdehart @im-actually-ok @softnic @catolicabuena @icequeenoriginal ~

[makeste]

BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches

of all the things I could have spent time writing a post about on my morning off, it ended up being this. but in my defense, Horikoshi’s sketches are actually amazing and this was kind of overdue.

so! as you may know, Horikoshi Kouhei frequently gets bored and doodle-y and is then kind enough to share the resulting drawings with us. sketchy boi. but not sketchy like that. though he did invent Mineta so maybe a little. 

anyway, because he’s so disgustingly talented, these pictures are usually amazing. and there are a lot of them. when I finally got around to doing this post, I ran a search for “Horikoshi sketches” and it turned out there was a whole wiki page dedicated just to them (god bless whoever is running the BnHA wiki, they do such a good job). and, well...

two hundred and eighty-eight. you may recognize this as being nearly fifty more than the current number of chapters. this would mean he’s releasing at least one sketch a week and has been doing so for the past five years! fortunately (for me, who has to do a recap of all these), this number is slightly misleading, as this page apparently includes some of the character sketches he did for the volume omakes. so I don’t have to go through 300 sketches omfg. but still, there are a lot! so I’ll just go through them and post my favorites and see how many we can get through in this post I guess.

these are all in alphabetical order according to their file names on the wiki, and like I said, I’m not doing all of them, just the ones that catch my eye the most. which is still a ton of them. honestly we’re about to find out whether tumblr text posts have image limits. (ETA: the limit does not exist!)

right off the bat we are getting off to a great start! love me the ladies of class 1-A. these girls are all so, so valid. I love how Deku is there too and his hair is transforming into a tree or something.

this is a sketch from chapter 10. this cat I guess just came up to them and they were like “...” and the cat was like “...” and long story short they’ve been like this now for a whole hour. meanwhile Aizawa is wondering where his cat has gone.

why are they dressed like it’s world war I. ??

holy fuck this cat. did it eat the other cat. anyway do you guys think Momo and Todoroki were walking to school together because that’s some cute shit omg. we know there is a cat that hangs out around Shouto’s house, so he’s probably good at playing with stray cats, and they probably really like him because he is calm and kind.

holy shit.

oh my god I need Tsuyu’s siblings to come visit the dorms at U.A. and play with Eri!! now.

posting this one because it’s cute, but also because it notably has nothing at all to do with the actual chapter 120. but that’s okay.

what, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck.

are they making chocolate?? you know, canonically we haven’t actually had a Valentine’s Day yet in the series, and now I’m really hoping we get a little mini plot. things that would happen:

every single girl makes chocolate for Todoroki and he just accepts it very politely and obliviously.

they actually make enough chocolate for everyone (except Mineta. and honestly they would have, except they know how that’s gonna go down, and no. Tsuyu really would have made you some pity chocolate dawg, but you brought this on yourself). but don’t end up giving it to everyone. specifically several of them thought better about giving some to Bakugou after seeing him react to the first unlucky person to give him some (y’all know that song I THREW IT ON THE GROUND by the Lonely Island? I’m sure you can understand my meaning here). and also Jirou gets way too flustered about giving some to Kaminari and chickens out. she gives it to Momo instead. hmmMMMM.

Satou also makes chocolate for everyone, EVEN BAKUGOU, and it’s delicious. no one is throwing his chocolate on the ground.

Aoyama makes chocolate for Deku because!!  ☆ ☆ WE ARE FRIENDS, MON AMI  ☆  ☆  ☆ oui oui baguette.

I love everything about this, but especially Ochako’s face. she’s just like. sincerely trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong.

excuse the fuck out of me but DID HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY HINT AT THE FUCKING A-BAND A WHOLE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS BEFORE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. omfg. “what a cute AU!” “yes... AU,” Horikoshi agrees, nodding to himself. although after giving it some thought, he made the wise decision to switch Kaminari and Bakugou’s instruments. because we all know Bakugou was born to play the drums.

NO!!! VIDEO GAMES!!! IN CLASS!!!!!!!! [does a fucking aerial while emitting furious little huffs and bitchslapping Kirishima in the face]

I can’t figure out what’s going on in this picture. it appears to be baseball, except that Bakugou doesn’t have a bat. which I guess is the joke?? because his quirk is so strong he doesn’t need the fucking bat? except that I feel like that would result in either a broken arm or a blown-up baseball. idk this would make more sense with him as the pitcher.

“we really do love this AU, Horikoshi-sensei.” “yes... AU.”

this time it’s Shouji on the drums. I get that we all want to see Bakugou shred guitar, but it feels like he was just postponing the inevitable.

a full 85 chapters before he actually did this in the manga. god he really does enjoy foreshadowing with these things. I need to start paying more attention to these.

I have no words.

actually I do have words, and they are, “is that a fucking toothbrush.”

also is it just me or does he look, like, really swole in this pic. like, this is what the scarf has been hiding the whole time?? here we all thought he was a beanpole who subsisted off of energy bars and plain rice, but like. nope.

:) showing that there’s no hard feelings about the whole shooting-you-in-the-fucking-face thing. All Might is squeezing his hand awfully tightly, though.

all of them are so good-looking when they’re not trying. and then they open their mouths.

I am pained that there hasn’t at least been a karaoke chapter in one of the light novels yet, guys. pained. I NEED THIS.

holy fuck Todoroki. what are you, a mermaid?? I feel like this is a result of a prank gone wrong. like the other guys were sick of the girls always pining after him, and so they tried rubbing a balloon on his head in an effort to make him look ridiculous, only IT BACKFIRED COMPLETELY. shit.

fuck me I love this. of course Kami blowdries his hair and puts a ridiculous amount of effort into achieving the same kind of boyishly tousled look Todoroki is JUST NATURALLY BORN WITH. some things in life just aren’t fair. also lmao Deku.

oh my god. how are they all so cute. this was from episode 12 btw. you’re welcome for saving your life All Might.

I don’t have the slightest idea wtf is going on here but omg.

this was for episode 16 of the anime, a.k.a. the obstacle course episode of the Sports Festival arc in season 2. I can’t read what they’re saying, but I’ll tell you what, I know Bakugou is being a rude little shit and I’m here for it.

SHINSOUUUUUU. this was for episode 20. his one and only appearance in the anime so far. he knows he’s here for a good time not a long time.

lmao. my headcanon is that Monoma actually ended up losing after this, but somehow still managed to be smug about it.

lmaoooo. Kacchan refusing to even acknowledge that this is a thing that is happening for some reason.

HAWKS DID YOU REALLY KILL THIS MAN. COME ON OUT HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK.

I feel like taming Deku’s hair is arguably even more of a feat than taming Bakugou’s. meanwhile Iida looks 90% the same. and Todoroki is. well. just goes to show that this look is not for just anyone.

I have never in my life seen Katsuki so full on just done with life. like he is so fucking over this shit. he’s just rolled over and accepted it. I have never seen Bakugou fucking Katsuki just sigh and be all, “you know what, this might as well happen.” not until this moment. wow.

you guys I’m crying.

is it just me or do the little matroyshka dolls actually look like little nun Jeanists. though the hair swoosh is going the wrong way. Monomas, maybe.

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS? my god, how useful would Shouji’s quirk be for this sort of thing. and Shouto looks so surprised (on like, a Todoroki scale) to have actually caught something. oh my god. so fucking cute. c’mere you. someone needs a hair ruffle.

I feel like this is how Tokoyami would want to be remembered. yes I know he’s not dead.

oh my god. so I’ve seen this one floating around on tumblr, but like. ffff. it’s my favorite ever. they are. so. fucking. cute. both looking up to All Might. and then the contrast between their innocent happy faces and their shocked and worried expressions watching All Might at Kamino. god it fucking destroys me. all four of these kids need hugs goddammit. the older ones because they’re heartbroken, and the little bubbas just because they’re so stinkin’ cute omfg.

I LOVE HER AND I’M NOT SORRY. please Horikoshi give me more Bakufam in this upcoming arc. who do I have to bribe or threaten.

STRANGER DANGER omg. Toga no. that’s not nice.

Horikoshi what did my heart ever do to you for you to treat it like this.

villain Iida from episode 7 holy fuck I’m dying.

here come the New Year’s sketches! I’ve been looking forward to these. Kacchan photo strategy: never look directly at the camera.

I wonder which animal year 2016 was. rooster, probably.

fucking look at Todoroki fucking Shouto stuffing his face yet again. can you stop chewing for one fucking second. we’re trying to take a picture you slob.

the year is 2018. Horikoshi Kouhei attempts to draw a dog, because it’s the year of the fucking dog. it does not go well. panicked, he takes the All Might he’s already started drawing, and for some reason attempts to turn it into another dog. it goes even worse. now he’s really starting to sweat. “oh shit,” he whispers, drawing Deku upside-down in his unrest. “oh fuck.” finally he just draws Bakugou shouting the words HAPPY NEW YEAR in giant letters across the screen, hoping that’ll be enough to distract everyone from all the rest of it. it is not.

oh my god. thank you so much to everyone who went to SDCC and made him so happy. this is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. also loving Bakugou tolerating the shit out of All Might leaning on him omg. I’m so fucking weak for this as always.

this is Horikoshi’s most recent sketch! lookit, he’s so happy with the toy him omg. it actually is really badass.

league of dorks. I love Toga’s face. and how Horikoshi clearly put more effort into drawing Tomura’s Face Hand than the entire rest of the picture.

I don’t understand a single element of this. wow. also this is twice now that Horikoshi has drawn the fucking Predator in these sketches. just pointing that out. of all the films to make multiple references to. what’s going on here. and is Mineta playing the fucking little sister in Totoro. am I losing my fucking mind.

this was for the season 3 premiere. I love how Bakugou and Deku are wrestling for control of the screen. but he knows better than to touch Mineta I guess.

Iida and Ochako are the only two reacting appropriately here. Bakugou just looks concerned. to be fair I guess that’s appropriate too. but Deku is all “fuck YEAH All Might you go ahead and SMASH YOUR FACE RIGHT THROUGH THAT MONITOR” and I feel like his blanket approval of all his mentor’s actions has finally gone too far.

this just goes to show you that even a very simple sketch concept can pay off dividends if you play your cards right. good job Horikoshi.

he could run faster if he just pulled his fucking pants up. does anyone have any brain cells to spare for my son here. please he needs them. I don’t know what he thinks a belt is actually for...?

hello this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and also is Kirishima doing the kage bunshin pose from Naruto or.

sob Aizawa I’m dead. I fucking love how Mineta is like HE’S CLEARLY FINE IT WAS A FLOP as though Kirishima is not literally covered in fucking grape balls. something else I also love is that Katsuki is number 10 and Deku is number 11. even in a soccer match he can’t stand to be lower then his rival sob. also Ochako is straight up about to rip off Mina’s head jesus christ girl run.

there aren’t even words for how much I ship this. just emotions. omg.

this is one of those pictures that keeps getting more wtf the longer you stare at it. naturally your eyes are drawn to Todoroki’s reindeer antlers first. by contrast, Ochako looks relatively normal, even with the odd pose. but then you notice Deku’s Christmas tree hair. from there your eyes are drawn down to his strange lack of a shirt. and then, finally, you spot him. Tokoyami. you wonder if the mangaka has finally gone too far. you’re still not sure.

for once it’s not Todoroki who’s leaping into action with his mouth full. never one to back down from a challenge, Bakugou has picked the absolute least practical food to consume whilst in the middle of battling. I can barely eat spaghetti without making a mess when I’m not throwing down. I’m not sure what a good food to eat while throwing down would be, but maybe something more portable, like a calzone.

I feel drawn to him the same way one might be drawn to a stray cat, even though you’re pretty sure the cat is really wary of people and will probably try to claw or bite you if you get too close. I would like to pat him on the head, but he might try to blow me up. eh, worth it.

look at the Baku Protection Squad trying to do some fucking Abbey Road thing. damn you can really see how short Tokoyami is in this. also Bakugou buys pants that are at least three sizes too big I s2g.

and that’s it! anyways, this was fun as heck. I’ve bookmarked Horikoshi’s Twitter now so I can keep up with the new sketches as they’re released. this is fucking great, and a whole new bonus to being caught up with the manga that I haven’t been appreciating until now. fucking love it.

[iron-fam]

Dinner with the Avengers

A prompt that was an ask from @just-the-daydreamer

Tumblr screwed up (more like I screwed up but I'm blaming tumblr) and deleted their ask. I kinda remember what it was though lmao. Anyways, thank you for the prompt and for the nice compliments to my writing!

Prompt: Peter meeting all of the Avengers and Tony having big dad energy.

_________________________________

Focus. Just- fucking focus.

Don't be dumb.

Don't be cringey.

Don't talk too much.

Don't ask any stupid questions.

Don't be yourself.

"No one wants that."

Peter Parker is currently in an elevator with Happy Hogan, freaking the fuck out.

He's on his way to have a nice lovely dinner at Avengers Tower.

It sounds so easy when you say it like that. Peter's had dinner with Tony, Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey at the tower plenty of times.

This time's different.

The whole Avengers team is having dinner at the tower tonight. Everyone. This will be the first time the entire gang has been together since before the whole Sokovia Accords bullshit.

Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Bucky Barnes, Thor, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Colonel Rhodes, and even Vision and Scott Lang are attending.

Weeks ago, Tony and Peter agreed that it was fine to reveal his identity to the Avengers.

But now the day was finally here, and Peter couldn't seem to breathe.

Happy sighs, "Relax," he sounds irritated, but he tries to offer some sound advice. "Don't worry about anything. These are the weirdest freaks you'll ever meet in your life. You're gonna fit right in."

He gives Peter's shoulder a light punch. Peter would almost appreciate the gesture if his heart wasn't trying to crawl it's way up his throat.

The elevator dings, indicating that the destination has been reached.

The doors slide open, and Peter is greeted by two smiling faces.

"There he is!" Tony bellows, a bright grin on his face. "Just the man I was talking about."

He claps Peter on the shoulder as he exits the elevator.

Next to Tony, stands a plain looking man with glasses and a lilac button up shirt.

"You're, uh," Peter swallows. "Bruce Banner, right?"

The scientist smiles. "Sure am. Tony said you'd recognize me."

"W-well yeah," Peter shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at the floor. "I did a couple papers a few years back. They were, uh, heavily influenced by your work in astronuclear physics. Really interesting stuff."

"Wow, that's pretty c-"

The genius is cut off by a thunderous laugh erupting from an approaching figure.

"Stark! Is this the Spiderman you've been speaking of?" The man asks.

Peter is in awe. He focuses on keeping his mouth closed and not looking like a total idiot.

"Sure is, Thor! This here's our newest Avenger." Tony gently punches Pete's shoulder, similar to how Happy had done in the elevator.

"How magnificent!" The god stares Peter down, judging him. "He's quite small, is he not? For a human?" The warm smile never leaves his face.

"He's only sixteen," Tony chuckles.

"And taller than you, Mr. Stark," Peter mumbles under his breath. Bruce smiles.

Tony's head snaps to Peter, "What was that, pipsqueak?" Thor breaks into another thunderous cackle. "Go sit down, squirt. Most of the others are already in the dining room. I'll be in in just a minute."

Peter is anxious to go in without Tony, but he doesn't protest. As he walks, he is aware of Thor's heavy footsteps not far behind him, matching up with the heavy pound of the boy's heartbeat.

Peter can already hear each distinct voice in the dining room around the corner. He can hear drinks being poured, voices laughing, hearts beating, and even a fly buzzing close to the ceiling.

The moment Peter turns the corner to the dining area, silence washes over the room. Eleven pairs of eyes are staring at him, and he feels like fainting.

Pepper stands up from her seat next to Natasha. "Hello, Peter!" Her smile is so warm and genuine, it could melt the arctic. "Everyone's been wanting to meet you. Here, have a seat."

She gestures to an empty seat on the other side of her.

Peter happily strides over, relieved to be dining next to someone he knows and is comfortable around. Now he can only hope that Tony sits in the empty seat on his other side.

Natasha leans forward, staring at the teenager with cold eyes. "Hello, Peter." She doesn't smile.

"Hello," Peter's voice quivers slightly.

To Peter's relief, Tony interrupts. "Don't scare him, he's very fragile." The billionaire winks discreetly at Pete and leisurely strolls to the empty chair next to him. Oh, thank God!

"Fragile?" Clint scoffs. "I heard that kid can throw a schoolbus like a baseball."

"Impressive," Wanda Maximoff breathes, her face hidden by a mug of coffee.

Scott Lang laughs, "That's nothing! I can lift a car while being an inch tall!"

Nat rolls her eyes, "Like hell you can."

"You can barely move a thumbtack, tic-tac." Sam Wilson retorts.

"That was some straight bars, birdbrain!" Scott barks.

"Shut up, Lang."

Tony has to intervene before things get to crazy. "Let's be nice, there are young ears present."

"Since when did you become his dad?" Clint smirks. Peter's can feel his face heating up. God, I never should have come. This is so embarrassing.

Steve is ready to change the subject, and he speaks to Peter for the first time since Germany.

"So, Peter. How long have you been 'Spiderman?' I've read a lot about you in the papers. New York seems to appreciate having you around."

"Who still reads 'the papers?'" Clint mutters under his breath, laughing. Wanda elbows him.

Peter is suddenly aware of all the eyes on him; all the ears awaiting his answer to Steve's question.

"Um," he pauses for a while. "I, uh, got my powers when I was thirteen. I didn't start using them to help people until a few months later when I was fourteen. That was about two years ago."

Wanda tilts her head to the side. Her intrigued gaze sears into the boy. Peter can feel his blood running cold. He is abruptly struck with a paranoid thought- can she read my mind?

The curiosity in Wanda's eyes doesn't waver. She asks him, "How did you get your powers?"

Peter breaks eye contact with Wanda, timidly leaning back into his chair.

"I was bitten by a radioactive spider. It mutated my DNA, and I developed traits that a spider would have."

"Fascinating," Bruce whispers, bewildered.

"Can you lay eggs?" Scott asks, mouth hanging wide open. "Can you summon an army of spiders? Can you turn into a spider?"

"No, no, and no." Peter answers.

"Lame,"

Tony glares at Scott. If looks could kill, then Lang would be nothing but a pile of ash.

"I'm kidding," Scott quickly takes back his comment. "I've seen you throw webs though. That's pretty cool."

"Not as cool as you growing sixty feet tall." Peter replies, gaining a small drop of confidence.

"Ha! I keep forgetting you were there in Germany."

"Y'know, I try to forget Germany, too." Peter says.

"Don't we all," Rhodey mumbles through a bite of food.

Steve's eyes are stuck on a fixed point on his plate. "I can't believe I dropped ten tons of steel on a fifteen year old."

Peter laughs. "Don't be, it was a good workout. And actually, I was fourteen."

A small wave of laughter washes over the group, and Peter feels proud for a moment or two. Like he belongs.

"What the hell were you thinking, Stark..." Bucky quietly says. It's the first thing he's said all evening. Peter had almost forgotten he was there. "You brought a fourteen year old kid to Berlin."

Tony cringes, "I know, I know. Not my best move."

Pepper puts her hand on Tony's shoulder. "Yes, well it definitely wasn't your worst move either."

Bruce nearly chokes on his food, thinking about Ultron.

The group collectively gasps and then laughs.

After a few peaceful moments, Tony rises to his feet. He picks up his champagne glass.

"Well, I propose a toast. To our newest Avenger."

Everyone picks up their glasses, and raises them.

"Uh, Mr. Stark." Peter smiles. "I didn't get any champagne."

That gets a few chuckles.

"Yeah," Tony nods. "I tried, squirt, but Pepper said it would be irresponsible." He rolls his eyes and gestures to the blonde.

Pepper doesn't protest. She simply sips her champagne and mumbles "Yes, it would be irresponsible."

"Welcome to the team, Peter." Natasha says, the corners of her mouth slightly turning up.

"Welcome to the team," the others mutter in unison.

Tony claps his hand down on Peter' shoulder, almost showing him off like a proud dad.

Peter smiles.

These people aren't half bad.

[crionsbelt]

This may or may not go up by the time midnight hits or slightly after for me, let’s see what happens! I’ve been working on this since 9:30 PM EST, I expect it’ll be done by 12:50 AM EST. Hopefully I’m right so it ain’t too late gjnhg

For starters: Happy New Year everyone! Hard to believe we lived in the decade where this beauty was created. Nonetheless, there are multiple people I want to thank -- along with a much needed personal note from me. Everything will be put into a read more, but trust me, it’s long. Thank you all for making the final days of this decade very welcoming for me!

@kiidreamu​ & @theabyssalmuses​

It’s rather silly for me to start with you two, because I’ve got quite a bit to say; so here goes! I’ve known you two for...quite a while huh? I can’t recall the exact time, but I know we’ve been mutuals since I went by Phantom -- which was a long while ago. Regardless, I’ve always enjoyed you two on my dash; and I’ve always really liked interacting with y’all OOC! I’ve always had a blast speaking with you two (specifically now w all this fuckin Bear Ass shit).  I really enjoy the way you two write your muses, I think you both should have a lot more faith in them because they’re very fun to see on the dash! It’s pretty clear y’all put a lot of effort into your writing, even if you say you don’t, I for sure notice it.  Hime, I know you said you admired me - but there’s nothing to admire! You and Kii are equally as good as me, but I’m definitely not much. However, I never posted it (because I had it in my drafts and still do) because it meant a lot to me. I’ve never been told something like that aside from Norgie, so it made me feel happy in a dark time.  Thank you both for continuing to be my friends, truly. 

@fantasyacrossworlds​

Awoo! You and I have known each other for a long time, too (most people tagged here I’ve known for 2 - 4 years hujhj)! I’m VERY happy that we’re mutuals again, I’ve truly missed interacting with you! I’m so glad that it seems Orion and Cass are going to have a chaotic friendship that will always end on Orion running to Artemis LMAO. I’m looking forward to more interactions! 

@sanzenxsekai​​ 

I already gave you a super long post explaining how much me and Norgie are thankful for you, so I’ll remind you in a tl;dr version. WE ALL LOVE YOUR STINKY GREMLIN + YOU!! Please keep writing Nobu in 2020! Thank you so much for being such a good friend to me. 

@mcphistcples​

You don’t even realize how much of a positive impact you’ve had on both me and my girlfriend. You’re absolutely hilarious and I’m incredibly happy you chose to start interacting with a disaster like me. As a Dies fan, I fucking love your Rein. You write him fantastically and it’s always fun to see your interactions with BB’s JAlter.  I am looking forward to the dramatic reading of My Immortal: Bear Ass Edition : ) 

@stxrdust-pxper​

We haven’t talked much OOC properly, but we’ve known each other just about the same time as me and Norgie have been dating - so almost 2 years! You’re a pretty cool person, I’m happy you joined my new server because it’s given myself and others a chance to chat with you more. Thank you for all the kindness you’ve given me throughout the time we’ve known each other, I’ve never said it until now, but it truly has stuck with me and helped me become happier.

@bloodsoakedsakura​ / @idoldragos​

There’s actually a lot I’d like to say, some I’ll leave out for now. For starters, thank you for having my back for three years straight. Seriously. You’ve been there for me through a whole lot, honestly surprised you’ve stuck with me for as long as you have.  You’ve stood up for me when the time came for it and I’m honestly so thankful you did. Every time you hop in call with us it’s usually always fun and stupid (in a good way), so thank you for being part of my band of misfits as long as you have Sades. Even though you’re a boomer who didn’t stop me rolling 200 of my Quartz, I forgive you... dontkillmepls

@yuichiroswife​

Speka, you’ve been a great help to me and Norgie a great amount of times as of late. Thank you so much, you’re an incredibly kind person and I’m glad we became friends!!

@muniificus​

I’ve known you for 3 years too I’m 90% certain, it’s insane how long I’ve known a lot of you - it feels like forever but it also feels like time has gone by so quickly! Much like Sades, I’m very thankful you’ve stuck around for as long as you have Icarus. Thank you for putting up with my dumb ass, and ultimately having fun in return! alsoihavethereplyforanastasiadraftedipromise

@fakepriest​

I’ve sent you an ask with a lot of what would’ve been said in here, but I want to let you know that I’m extremely grateful that you’ve kept being my friend to. I enjoy our conversations a lot, especially when we talk about things like Heaven’s Feel because they’re usually always such fun things to talk about. 

Much like the ask I’ve sent you, your Kirei is so scarily accurate it nearly simulates his actual personality flawlessly. That’s how scary good at writing this tofu loving fake priest. I’m so happy it’s you who’s writing him, not to play the pedestal game, but I genuinely can’t see anyone else (not even myself) coming close to how phenomenal your portrayal is.  #kireisquad

@arkdiia​

Though our first conversation first chatting again wasn’t expected, I’m super glad you came back to Tumblr and I’m thrilled to be friends w you again! Hopefully for 2020, you and I /both/ catch a break lmfao.

@saintguine​

Much like Anna, I’ve already told you what I wanted to here in the form of an ask a few hours ago - however, I do wish to say smth that I’m sure a lot of people feel. Regardless of how you think about yourself, you’re a very good person BB and we’re all very blessed to know you. You’re absolutely one of my best friends, and though there was a point where we lost communication for a bit, I’m very grateful our friendship is the exact same. 

We all care u BB, thank u for bein gud to all of us

Kayla & Sere

This post is incredibly long already, luckily I’m just about done -- but I’ve got three people to go starting with you two!

Sere, you’ve heard me vent a lot and you’ve known me (Kayla has known me this long too) for a pretty damn long time if you ask me, 3 years may not seem like a lot to people, but with all the stuff we’ve all gone through these 3 years? It’s been a LOT and I can’t say I’d be the person I am without you hearing my dumb ass vent and creating Cursed Night.  I appreciate all of your icons, thank you for giving us (Hell) special treatment with them. Seriously! While you are a best friend for sure, you’re also practically family to me. Thank you again for everything. 

Kayla, the same of what I said for Sere is said for you. You’re legit like my older sister, you’ve been there for me for just bout the same amount that Norgie has; you’re someone who means a lot to both me and Norgie, so thank you for giving talking to us a chance way back when you were shy (I think that’s what it was!). There have been a lot of ups and downs for all of us, but I’m glad the downs at least had the positive effect of giving me a second family who I love dearly. I actually teared up on this part, so god help me when I write for Norgie.

@letoborn​ / @uwuwrote​

I’m going to save a lot of what I want to say to you for our anniversary in June, but I will say a few things because I love you so very much.

When I met you, I was not expecting you’d turn out to be the woman of my dreams. You’re genuinely my better half, and I have never been as happy as I am than I am with you. You’ve truly had the biggest impact in my life Norgie, you’ve made me laugh, cheered me up when I’m sad, called me out when I was dumb and helped me better myself. 

I’m so incredibly happy I got to spend the rest of the last decade being your boyfriend, and now, going into 2020 - a whole new decade with you. Like I said, you’re my better half - I can’t see myself with anyone else but you. You’re the greatest treasure in my life, I’m so happy we’ve had all this fun with roleplaying.

Thank you so much Norgie, for giving me Orion/Artemiis, all of our other ships - being my soulmate (at least, I think so). I hope 2020 treats us both well, but I’m willing to go through whatever as long as it’s with you.

Now, that’s the end of that -- but I have a few extra things to say.

My 2019 has been...quite possibly the hardest year of my life, at least on the internet. For a very long time, I was fearful of interacting with others - I made mistakes that I wish I could take back, I got put through hell for nothing...man, I don’t wanna go back in and say what happened, what is and isn’t true -- the long story short is, shit happened, but it’s the past now. 

I want to go into 2020 just..as positive as I can be, I’m tired of the drama, I just want to have fun with my friends and my girlfriend you know? So, I’m finally choosing to move on and just...try having fun again. This choice would be impossible without the people mentioned in this post. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you who have stuck around through it all for me. I’m so incredibly thankful to be part of the friendgroup I’m in, to know everyone I’ve met who’s put up with me. I’ve had so many times where I wanted to leave this site, but I wanted to keep trying to write with everyone -- to have fun with everyone. You all have no idea how genuinely happy you’ve all made me, just by writing with my Orion and Norgie’s Artemis. 

Though I couldn’t think of anything to say specifically for the others tagged below here, thank you all for everything as well -- just following me makes me happy. I’m sure I’ve forgotten some people, but trust me, I’m so very happy to know all of you.

@dekirukoto @wisesteyed @lacobscur @akhilleuskcsmcs

[pangtasias-atelier]

The Goddess's Judgement Part 5

Volug may speak only in the ancient tongue, but his dialogue lines are actually really funny when translated. Especially Volug’s “What if I ate everyone I fought? Would everyone keep fighting?”

Like that is so stupidly hilarious and the fact that it’s in a language that doesn’t even exist is great yet awful. There’s no vore in this though cause I don’t like that.

Focus on Volug since I like him and also no one understands him so I force myself to focus on descriptions cause I struggle lol

Also want y'all to know that I spent around an hour trying to figure out how to get the ancient language font to appear on Tumblr just for one damn line, but I couldn’t figure it out lmao

This was originally uploaded to Tumblr for about 5 minutes before I reread and wondered why the hell I uploaded it before deleting it and adding way more.

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Wandering around the dining hall transformed, Volug constantly stops at every table. A few pieces of meat get tossed his way each time, Volug catching them in his mouth. But with a couple of whimpers added, the whole table takes pity and gives him a sizeable portion of their meal. Add in a bark of joy mixed with some tail wags, each and every person are eating out of Volug’s hands.

Constantly in his wolf form, everyone mistook him for a strange dog. The lie still holds to this day, everyone viewing him as their dependable loyal companion. Able to halfshift to remain transformed as long as he wishes, the ability was useful despite reducing his strength. But now, Volug could feel the sheer lack of strength to do anything besides walk while halfshifted.

Treading to the next table, Volug repeats the process for the umpteenth time. He gobbles the chunks of chicken and steak happily tossed his way. Already full a couple tables ago, Volug presses on, nearing the last few tables.

Stuffing himself, Volug pads away after the last table. On his way to the exit, people notice him again, offering more scraps. Volug eats those as well, taking the free food.

Finally out, the route to his room feels long. Far too long. Finding a secluded room in the fort, Volug immediately claimed it, growling at anyone who came near. Everyone deciding to leave him alone, they left the room to Volug, a safe area to revert back. The door left slightly ajar since he woke up, Volug pushes it open and then closes it with his back foot. For good measure, he shoves the small vanity in front of the door. The door secured, Volug transforms back.

Fit muscular form completely gone, Volug groans upon finally reverting back. Working off the weight a matter of long several years, Volug is obese. On the precipice of 600 lbs, his tanned body stretches everywhere, his stomach sags down near to his knees. Volug burps as he lets his ass fall down onto the bed, the poor thing creaking and groaning from his weight. His thighs press down on the matress, spreading out. His stomach folds on to them, resting as it gurgles. His plump breasts rest on his stomach, the overladen fat accumulating everywhere. Volug’s tattoos stretch across his arms, the lines lighter and losing their definition. His ass squishes against the matress, fat shifting as Volug tries to get comfortable.

Digging his hand into his stomach, Volug massages it. Hands grabbing handfuls of rolls, Volug burps as he lets out pressure. Huffing, Volug closes his eyes as he sighs, the relief wonderful.

Half naked before, Volug now went without pants, Volug ditching the pair the instant they were tight. Not like it matters when he’s constantly transformed, Volug still wears his tight boxers, a hole or two already formed on them.

Groaning, Volug grabs the dog bowl of meat in his room, a treat from the chefs. Groaning, Volug grabs the pieces of meat. Shoving it into his mouth, he powers through, finishing all of it.

Huffing, the bowl is tossed to the floor as he wipes his finger of their grease. Standing back up, a process of fat pushing against fat, his stomach flopping around the contents of his food, Volug grimaces. Placing both hands on his stomach, Volug rubs them in circles, sighing in relief. Stomach slightly more calm, Volug plays with it, testing its heft as he lifts it up, his arms struggling to cradle all of it.

Grabbing the second bowl placed in his room, Volug groans as he eats that too. All of it meat again, Volug tears through the pieces. A quarter done, his stomach begins complaining anew, the dome churning with all its contents. Ignoring his body, Volug instead simply burps, the gas escaping his lips. One hand rubbing his stomach, he uses the other to feed himself, eyes closed as he repeats the process.

Hand touching only the plate, Volug drops it to the floor as well. A testament to his gluttonous ways even before the judgment, the floor is littered with bones and plates. Still standing, Volug licks the juices off his fingers. Legs buckling, Volug drops back onto the bed. Mattress already having a dent from his earlier rest, Volug dents it further, his ass squashing it. Groaning, he lies back, his feet on the floor with his back on the burdened matress. Huffing, Volug lies still, his stomach processing the several pounds of meat he gorged today. It takes about ten minutes for Volug to get back.

Having eaten only meat the entire day, he craves something different. Everyone viewing him as a dog, they won’t give him anything besides meat. Everyone except one person.

Probably suspecting something, Pelleas interacted with Volug differently, attempting conversations with him even. Granted, Volug didn’t speak back, but he feels Pelleas knew. Maybe because he knew, Pelleas always treated Volug with more intelligence and reverence, though; some of that partially came through Volug being one of the first soldiers from Pelleas’s rebellion towards Begnion.

Whatever food Volug sniffed in Pelleas’s room, he’d wag his tail at. Cautious, Pelleas had given Volug only portions of it, unsure of whatever Volug was could eat. Not sick a couple days after, Pelleas gave him whatever treats Volug wanted. Pelleas was Volug’s only ticket to non-meat food.

Deciding to go for some dessert, Volug pushes himself up, struggling and wheezing. Constantly halfshifting, the ability took away all his energy from both his wolf form and regular form. Before, he’d be able to move around and property function while not halfshifted. But now, halfshifting is far too taxing, especially with Volug’s long periods of using it. Out of energy, it was always easy to just halfshift back if he was out of energy in both forms at least he could move easier transformed. In a cycle, Volug could only eat to help replenish the taxing nature of it.

Sitting up, Volug rubs both hands on his bothered stomach, the movement causing a reaction. Volug shoves the vanity back besides the door and opens the door slightly before halfshifting. Several people greet him as he walks through the hallways, Volug offering a small bark as they coo over him. The route to Pelleas’s room is known by memory, the constant snacks from him ingrained in his mind.

The door uncharacteristically left open, Volug carefully walks in. The room is barren yet littered, tomes haphazardly left open on the bed. Searching around, Volug smells strawberries left on the floor for him. Heading towards it, Volug devours them, the acid sourness a respite from all the meat. Quickly finished, Volug finds a note.

Unfortunately, the note is written in modern script, Volug unable to read it. Scanning it, Volug finds some text written in the ancient tongue.

“I don’t think you can speak or read, but you have a far too high intelligence for a mere dog Volug. Oh I hope nobody reads this and think me mad. If you can read, Volug, then I went to the Gallian camp to end Daein’s involvement on an amiable note with the Laguz Alliance. I left some strawberries for you,” the note says.

Huffing, Volug groans at finding out the small treat is his meager dessert. Weighing his options for approximately five seconds, Volug heads out to the Gallian camp.

More compliments thrown his way as he leaves, no one questions him, assuming Volug to do whatever dogs do in the snow.

Trudging through the snow, Volug follows the scent, a massive group of Laguz easy to smell despite the light wind picking up. The sun nearly gone, the moon begins taking its place, the full moon offering decent lighting. The crunch of the snow and the wind the only noise, Volug continues on his quest for dessert.

The flapping of wings halts Volug in his tracks.

“Please, not so fast,” Pelleas’s voice sounds out, his voice further away from the flapping.

“We were told to have you back before the sun sets,” Ulki dryly relays.

“Oh come on, go easy on the Beorc will ya! He can’t fly like us,” Proving his point, Janaff flies slightly higher.

The eyes and ears of Tibarn had gained weight as well. Both hawks, the two were smaller than the beast tribe. Both crest a bit under 300, both of them still hefty.

Now higher, Janaff spots Volug despite the distance. “There’s a beast heading this way,”

“I told you I heard him five minutes ago, we’re fine,” Ulki retorts. His retort proves pointless as he flies lower, hearing Volug’s steps now much closer.

Before either can do anything, Pelleas speaks up. “Volug?” He questions, a meaty hand over his squinting eyes. A bark is his only response. “No need to worry, he’s a companion of mine,”

Janaff and Ulki share a look at each other, unsure whether to comment about Volug’s identify or not, both of them knowing of him from Rafiel.

“Well, we’re near your camp, so you’ll be in good hands,” Janaff salutes, ready to fly away. Ulki grabs his hand.

“We were told to-”

“I’ll be fine. I can see the keep from here,” Pelleas bows, or imitates one, his gut getting in the way. “Thank you for your assistance. We’ll help assist you all with whatever items to facilitate heading back home,” Pelleas smiles, following Volug’s pace.

“See ya, and thanks for the tip on transforming, I’m sure Tibarn appreciates the tip more than us!” Janaff salutes, dragging Ulki behind him.

“Thanks for checking up on me Volug,” Pelleas pats his head. “Though I guess you wanted some snacks,” Volug barks back, Pelleas smiling. “I’ll get you plenty, keeping up with the hawks was difficult. Thanks for walking slow,” Unknown to Pelleas, Volug’s slow pace was from halfshifting, running far too strenuous.

Arriving at the keep, Volug heads straight back to Pelleas’s room. Pelleas waddles to the mess hall, cheers and praises aimed at a blushing Pelleas who returns the compliments. The chefs happily supply Pelleas with his favors, several sweets being made. Shoved out of the kitchen, Pelleas heads back to his room, the sweets being delivered soon.

Back in his room, Pelleas finds it far cleaner than he left it, his books stacked neatly on his desk. “I guess I have you to thank for this too?” Pelleas jokes, patting Volug’s head, the idea of a dog cleaning a room entertaining him.

Pelleas sighs as he sits on his bed, the large matress offering a break for his tired feet.

The door slightly open, the knock signals the sweets’ arrival. Several thanks ushered the chefs way, Pelleas smiles as they leave.

Pelleas pales at seeing the mountain of a cake. Sighing, he pats Volug’s head. “I suppose you earned it,”

Heading to bed, Pelleas lies down, the creaks sounding out loudly as his matress digs down from his weight. Volug watched patiently, Pelleas’s breath evening out.

Pelleas now asleep, Volug shifts back and locks the door. Eyeing the strawberry cake, Volug hauls the cart to the desk. Taking a tentative sit on the desk chair, it holds his weight, the creaking not alerting Pelleas.

Too tired to bother with utensils, Volug grabs the cake with his hands. The first handful shoved into his mouth, it goes down smoothly, the creamy silkiness of it pleasantly alarming his taste buds. One handful devoured, Volug grabs another, and another, and then another, Volug making a process out of it.

One hand for feeding, his other is for his stomach, the mass complaining and kicking as even more food enters. Ignoring it, Volug eats the cake, more and more of it disappearing down his throat.

Head tilted back, Volug groans as he eats the last handful. Napkins appreciated, Volug licks his fingers before wiping himself, the chunks of cake now off his face.

Huffing, Volug grips the desk as he stands, his stomach yelling at the movement. Scooping as much of his stomach as he can, Volug groans.

Halfshifting, Volug immediately reverts out of it, finding it far too taxing. The door locked and no one bothering their king, Volug wheezes as he waddles towards the bed.

“Being this charming is hard,“ Volug complains in the ancient tongue. His stomach churns and bubbles as he rests on Pelleas’s large matress. The matress evens out from his weight. He just needs to wake up early tomorrow and halfshift back; that should be easy enough.

[coconutknightshade]

Fanfic Stats Tag Game

Thank you Maddy! @iloveyouthree-thousand​ You can read her wonderful MasterList of fics here! <3

Author Name: coconutknightshade (I have no idea where I pulled this from but it’s my AO3 name and I wanted to stay consistent lmao) 

Fandoms You Write For: Marvel! Exclusively Irondad & Spiderson for the time being. And while it still fits within that realm. I’ve also written Harry Potter and Charmed (1998 series). 

Where You Post: I’ve got a few posted on FF.net but all of my Marvel stuff is on AO3 under cocnutknightshade, though I do crosspost all of those fics here on Tumblr as well. 

Most Popular One-Shot: So technically it’s The Hoodie™  where Tony shows up at MIT during family week to surprise Peter and overhears Peter tell his roommate that the MIT hoodie he’s wearing is his dads. But I’ve had a handful of requests that it become a series of one-shots that take place during family week, so as inspirations strikes me I’ll be adding more! 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: This is kind of funny because most of them are multi-chapter but I’m still working on the final parts. Going by kudos it’s Peter Parker’s Super Secret Snack Stash, in which Peter uses FRIDAY's system to have a conversation with Ned about AP History while he's sneaking into his super secret snack stash in the kitchen. Or in which Peter's spidey senses betray him in the most embarrassing of ways.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Probably definitely Peter Parker’s Super Secret Snack Stash but honestly I enjoyed writing Villain Origin Story so much. Basically the Avengers are embarrassing Peter before his date with MJ and he’s so mortified that he tells them all that the whole thing will be his villain origin story.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: I was really nervous about posting The Itsy Bitsy Spider Protocol. Probably because it’s the one I’m absolutely most excited and passionate about (I could talk about it all day). It focuses heavily on the dynamic between Peter and Tony/Pepper. And while it centers around all three of them, the second chapter is really going to emphasize the relationship Peter has with Pepper. I haven’t seen a lot of Irondad & Spiderson fics that heavily feature Pepper, so I wasn’t sure how interested people would be. But it’s done really well since I posted it a few days ago and it’s already got several hundred subscriptions, more than any of my others, so I’m stoked about sharing more of it!

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I pull lines from the fic that I really think will hook the reader as well as hint at the plot itself (with the exception of The Hoodie, because I wanted the title to really showcase the trope).

How Many of Your Stories Are…

Complete: Three of them. The Hoodie was intended to be a one-shot but may become a series of one-shots. Villain Origin Story is definitely a completed one-shot though. The third one is an old Attack on Titan one, lmao. 

In-Progress: Two of them! Snack Stash and Spider Protocol one only have one chapter left.  But I want to take a second to talk about the Itsy Bitsy Spider Protocol because while that particular one is nearly complete, it’s actually the first part of what is an outlined 5-6 part series. Each of them are connected to the other and they all heavily include Pepper in the dynamic and plot. 

Coming Soon: I’ll list a few of them!! - Peter discovers through a school project that Tony is his biological dad and must now navigate the emotions surrounding that discovery- i.e. whether or not he should tell Tony, who he’s worried will panic and pull away when he finds out. Meanwhile, Tony is trying to find out why the kid is suddenly avoiding him and acting odd when they are together. 

- Tony is a sophomore at MIT when, much to his fathers strong disapproval, he finds himself the babysitter of a wicked smart 10 year old who always manages to attract trouble. Not only that, Tony finds himself spending more and more time with the Parker family until ultimately he realizes that he’s stumbled upon a family he didn’t ask for but now never wants to lose. Several years later, lying in an Afghani cave with shrapnel fighting it’s way to his heart, he realizes that being a Stark in name doesn’t protect him from the infamous Parker Luck.(Follows the MCU beyond this point. Peter still becomes Spider-Man and Ben still dies.)

- While in class Peter’s phone blows up with news that Tony Stark has been in an accident. When he arrives at the Tower Tony is out cold and remains as such until late in the night. It just so happens that Peter is sitting alone outside the medbay, unable to sleep, when FRIDAY informs him that Tony is awake. It takes about twenty minutes for Peter to realize his mentor has a serious case of amnesia. Tony, for his part, now mentally back to his playboy persona refuses to be vulnerable and acknowledge to anyone that he has no idea what happened, where he is, or why the hell a fifteen year old (who shit, must be my kid??) is being so attentive to him.

Do You Accept Prompts: Fuck yeah! I’ve got 5 of them sitting in my inbox right now that I really need to get to

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: My IronFam one! One of the parts consists of Pepper making Tony and Peter take care of one of those baby simulator dolls and it goes about as well as you would expect it to lol. I actually have a dialogue blip of it posts on my blog! After that one, I’m really stoked about the DNA results one

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions: So I’ve seen a lot of these floating around and honestly all of the people I can think to tag have already done it! D: @ironfamjam (I'm sure has been tagged like a million times, their stuff is phenomenal) @loubuttons (Probably also already done it, but we’ll wing it) @kitcat992 (Same lmao) @hailing-stars (I know for fact you’ve already done it but ily and I’m adding you anyways) @ladynerdynerd!!! <3

@softhairbarnes!!