#finally got home from work
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Twst Coral Sea Event Main Theme
Google Drive Link
Rhytmic 1/Rhytmic 2
This track is so relaxing🥰
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst jp#ツイステ#twst spoilers#twst jp spoilers#twst event spoilers#twst event#twst jp event spoilers#octavinelle#coral sea event#coral sea#jade leech#twst music#twst ost#twst soundtrack#finally got home from work#and this is so nice to listen to after that
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Core Gems
So when a ghost becomes injured, they have a last ditch defense where they retreat into their core. And I mean, injured badly where their body is rip apart to the point they can’t hold a solid form anymore. And they basically go into a hibernation state until they are strong enough to form again.
Ellie, Danny, and Dan are all injured in a final battle against the GIW. The organization was destroyed and the ghosts were safe but the halfas ended up being so injured that they reverted to core form and then went to sleep for a bit. When they woke up, they were still weak but at least recovered enough to gain consciousness. And realize…they are in some kind of auction…in the middle of a heist. It appeared that two furries (one in a bat costume and one in a cat costume) were ducking it out. And they…they were a necklace. All three of them had been turned into a necklace with their cores as gems accompanied by sapphires, pearls, and opals. And frankly gorgeous craftsmanship as the metal was crafted around their cores as if to cradle them and the other gems.

Unfortunately, they were too weak to take a form properly, they could still feel the strain on their bodies. But at least they could still communicate through their auras. Then the cat lady punched a hole in the glass container surrounding them and grabbed their necklace.
However, the bat grabbed the other end and it resulted in a sort of tug-a-war. Meanwhile, Danny, Ellie, and Dan were having a back and form commentary on the situation and what they should do. Completely unheard by the other party.
In the corner of their eye, the three halfas finally noticed a third contender. Some kind of clown who was…hold on…holding a gun?! And it was pointed straight at the two fighting furies who had yet to notice him. The ghosts’ protective instincts went into overdrive and they frantically tried to shout, yell, move. Just do something to warn the two but their cries fell on deaf ears. All they succeeded in doing was faintly glow which immediatly caught the attention of the fighting duo. The two turned to look at the strange necklace but right at that moment, the clown fired and a gunshot rang throughout the auction room. Having no other options, Danny and the others poured every ounce of ectoplasm they had to try and phaseshift, making the two furries intangible as the bullets passed right through them, but in their shock, the two jumped away in opposite directions and accidentally ripped the necklace apart. Gems and pearls went flying and the three cores bounced along the ground.
Luckily, the two finally noticed the clown and went to deal with him and his minions who had appeared. Seemingly putting their fight on hold and forming a temporary truce. The three halfas could only watch as the battle finally wound down, ending with the cops barging into the place and arresting the clown and his grunts, the cat managing to escape with half the scattered gems and pearls from the broken necklace along with a few other jewelry pieces (none of their cores though) and the bat leaving through a skylight.
The auction continued and in the end, despite being broken, their necklace seemed to have caught someone’s interest. A man named Bruce Wayne bought up every piece of the shattered jewelry wear. The auctioneers appeared relived that the item managed to sell in the end and gratefully gave it to him.
Bruce had no idea what happened at the auction, but he could have sworn that some of the gems faintly glowed right before he and Selina were shot. If the necklace was some sort of magical item, then he needed to understand exactly what has been brought to Gotham. It was unfortunate that Selena had taken some parts of the necklace but he utilized his vast wealth to make sure all the other parts ended in his possession. Now he would take them back to the mansion for examination.
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#kizzer55555 ideas#Bruce thinks the necklace is magical. He’s technically not wrong.#When he gets home he immediately puts each gem in a glass container to examine them. For the longest time though nothing happens.#They all look like normal gems except for the main three of the piece. He can’t identify what kind of gem they are.#The gems are perfect spheres with various shades of blue (with hints of green and white) swirling around.#The colors almost look like they are moving in slow motion. Still. Nothing happens as he examines them and no strange events happen.#That is until one day he decided to take the gems to be examined by a professional and a villain attacked.#A piece of building was about to crush him when a wall of ice appeared as a shield over him. After that he took them back to the cave.#Bruce looks up thousands of documents about enchanted necklaces and artifacts but finds nothing. He even calls in favors from JLD.#Zatanna doesn’t recognize them but feels some kind of power coming off the gems however it doesn’t feel malevolent (at least for 2 of them)#(The last gem is neutral.) Also Constantine was unavailable (*cough* hiding from responsibilities *cough*)#The other bats get interested in the gems. Tim has a theory that they are some kind of protective charms. Damian agrees.#(Everyone is shocked Tim and Damian agree on something). So while Bruce is continuing his investigation the other bats decide to do some#‘Field testing’ and take the gems out. Consequently the gems end up saving their lives and they discover a few things they can do like make#The wearer invisible. Intangible. Create green barriers/constructs. Create ice. Vibrate when an enemy is coming. And much more.#The bats fashion them into new individual bracelets/necklaces and think they are the coolest thing. They have powered up protective charms!#The halfas just wish these kids would STOP PUTTING THEIR LIVES IN DANGER! What are they MORONS?!#Most of the ectoplasms they recover is used to protect the bats and nearby civilians.#(Dan also trolls people and is mostly protective his siblings though)#People notice the new power ups. A rougue gets his hands on a gem and tries to use it ONCE to attack something but the gems didn’t respond.#Then it froze the rough’s legs to the ground.#Much time later the gems are swapped between the bats and alternated and have just become a new item in their belt#(batman was not pleased but eventually got used to it and begrudgingly accepted that they were useful. Especially when they save his kids)#They come to a Justice league meeting and Constantine finally sees them.#His mouth drops in shock and he frantically asks where they got GHOST CORES?! And this is when the bats finally realise what they have.#And are horrified to realize EXACTLY what they are holding and that these ‘gems’ were technically ALIVE.#Meanwhile the three Halfas have been kinda chilling but also working their butts off to keep this family alive. It was a fulltime job.
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“I just want you to know that I see you… I know you’re hurting, and I’m here for you, and I love you.”
maybobby moment based on one of my favorite fics, all I love so dearly by @blossom--of--snow !!
#911#bobby nash#may grant#maybobby#911 fanart#911 abc#my art!!!#do not repost#fic rec#with the return of may finally i had to revisit my fav may fics and this one is always first on my list#ive been planning this for ages#first time ever drawing for a fic and i have gotta do it more often#also first time drawing may i think she turned out idk#i think about this scene all the time especially how pk acts his eyes and his body language#he’s genuinely happy to see may and have her home but fuck he also just got blast from the past#and to me this is fic is canon it absolutely happened#maybobby is everything to me i could ramble for hours#anyways enjoy read this fic even if u already have it’s perfect so#and check out her other works all more favs#i think i got carried away i’ll stop now#kinda nervous if u can’t tell#also i hope the link works ive been on here for years and still don’t know how anything works
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back on my scarlet hollow bs ✌️
I was a freak for Isaacs before but the update got me feral thank you black tabby for the food 💗
he is baby girl. to me :)
Bonus doodle of his face bc i enjoy it <3
#my art#my ocs#scarlet hollow mc#fanart#black tabby games#blacktabbygames#scarlethollow#isaacs scarlet hollow#scarlet hollow isaacs#sh isaacs#isaacs#scarlet hollow#jacob scarlet#scarlet hollow fanart#scarlethollowfanart#jacob didnt even let him shower when he got home from work#now they BOTH need a shower 😏#I know i need to be working on comms but i do have another isaacs piece in the works that involves wayne so keep posted for that ig#ALSO YALL DONT HOW HAPPY IT MADE ME TO FINALLY GET A CLOSE UP OF THIS GUY !!!!!!#immediately added it to my wayne + isaacs lock screen bg bc im normal <3
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FINALLY finally got a proper leather vest for Mello 😺 just waiting on the gloves and then I can find another con to cosplay him at
#elle cosplay shenanigans#if I look a little rough it's because I just got home from work lol#I got so excited seeing the package waiting for me when I got home that I immediately put the whole cos on to try out the vest lol#it's not quilted which I would have loved but just the fact that I finally got something leather makes me happy#death note#death note cosplay#mello
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This is such a bittersweet way for Liliana to end. For so much of the campaign, she’s spoken of herself almost as if she believes herself fully lacking in agency regarding her circumstances. As if she had no choice but to join the Vanguard, to stand by while Ludinus and Otohan committ atrocities, to leave her family behind, to put the world on the line. This was the only way she could see to 'save her daughter', so of course there was no choice but to do it. And when Imogen reached out to her, told her that no, I don’t want this, you can still walk away, there’ll be consequences but you can walk away, Liliana dithered. Suddenly there was an undeniable choice - to betray either Ludinus or her daughter - and she didn't want to make it, didn't want to committ to either choice, didn't want to accept that despite all her hardships she does, in fact, have agency.
In the end, she didn’t get to make that choice between Vanguard or Imogen. She dithered for too long, and the agency that she had so long denied having was finally, truly, taken from her.
#when hearing what happened i got this pit in my stomach of 'that's it? this is how she ends?'#bc i had built her up. i expected a big dramatic choice of her picking a side and stabbing the other in the back#somehow this feels worse than if she had picked the vanguard and stabbed imogen in the back#or if she had fully turned on ludinus and been killed fighting him#this is a sad pitiful death#she denied her own agency so hard that it finally came true#...if bh end up dithering so hard about their own uncertainties that predathos gets out unintended it'll be some hella foreshadowing#nella talks cr#liliana temult#critical role#cr3 spoilers#cr3#cr spoilers#anyway I'm home from work today bc of reasons so let's write meta instead
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peepaw doodles 💛
#pizza tower#pizza tower vigilante#human!vigilante#arts#mine#smoking#vigilante#tags....#pepperman you can stay there but only bc u look so polite#working on vigi stuff FINALLY#some human designs; he is. small.#but hes more dorito shaped; broad shoulders. smaller waist. hes got tum but not as much as peppino#and hes got a biiiiit of a droopy eye. its a little hooded unless he widens them both in shock or somethin#and first panel isnt really meant to be cohesive its just doodles#but most of them (except for the smoking one) is him investigating shit he really shouldnt be investigating heehee#also dont mind the proportions in that spoopy one; i drew vigi before i was like um that would work well if he was running away from beasts#and then threw the hallway in there#peepaw what are u doin outside of ur comfy little country home.....
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It's the penultimate episode, I've got some words for P'Dome that he'll never get to hear but most importantly I'm here to congratulate Peach and Home on not breaking up this episode. So let's get to it!
1
We begin with Home being sad looking at their ad while thinking about his gramps trying to teach him the meaning of "home"

But while Pangpang puts it plainly into words

Home is apparently so dense that he still hasn't figured it out

We've been seeing quite clearly, and Home seems to be aware on a subconcious level at least, that Peach and the rest of the squad have become his home. But well, Home the man, clearly put all his character points into cuteness leaving none for intelligence so I guess we'll have to wait for the last (TT) episode for him to finally get it.
2

Peach has gotten to know Home very well. So of course he can tell that there's something up with his platonic? boyfriend. (on the first watch i thought this was him fishing for "Home is so sad that you're leaving"-validation)


He's also totally definitely not at all worried about Home. I'd say acting isn't Peach's strong suit but he did quite well with the fuckery they put on so I guess it's a case of the old can't-lie-when-it-comes-to-love.

Despite his utter non-worry he still delegates Home-care to Kan which kind of implies that he sees it as his job to take care of him. (and shows how much he is worried and cares about Home but that's not really news at this point)
3

Even Kan is teasing them about their relationship now.
4


Sure, their fight turned out to be somewhat staged to distract evil lawyer but the sentiments are nontheless quite real. The familiar territory of fighting allows them to finally speak out their feelings about what happened at the end of last episode. And, surprise, surprise, both are hurt by the idea of being left by the other, of ultimately not meaning that much to each other. (as I said, abandonment trauma rearing its ugly head) At this point, regardless of their relationship status maybe they should just get married so they'll finally feel some security in their importance to each other. (this is almost definitely not a good solution to this sort of problem irl, of course)
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It's a good thing they've been perfecting their nonverbal communication over the course of the show. It comes in quite handy in situations like this.
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Surrounded by the betrayal from his blood family, Home knows there's someone he can always trust.

Peach. And the rest of the gang. His real family. (+ the friends they made along the way)
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This scene was honestly the cutest shit. The way he goes from his legs raised in happiness, to lowerd in disappointment, to swinging with giddieness. The way he's hiding under his duvet to secretly talk to his boyfriend on the phone. Ridiculously cute. This man is so in love. And he shows it like a stereotypical 12 y/o girl.


And Peach isn't any better with his arms on display and that fondness in his face.
8
Peach really doesn't want Home to go back to America.

But while he's not getting that reassurance for now (I can't bring myself to believe he'll actually leave. Not after everything, not when the reason for his exile has been resolved, not when he's finally found the meaning of "home" so his grandpa would have allowed him to come back, anyway. And how ironic btw, that he had to come home first and face the consequences of his actions, in order to find his meaning of "home"), at least he gets some surprisingly clear real-talk on Home's feelings.


9

Peach is smelling the bs on uncle and he's not looking to become a widower. He already watched Home die once, he's really not inclined to repeat that experience.

Unfortunately he let's Home convince him it'll be fine (and unfortunately Home has retained a lot of that naivete that he displayed when he first met Kan) so he's left behind to worry about Home's safety.
10

This plan from the uncle is absolutely evil. To not only kill his nephew but make people, possibly even Home himself, believe that Peach is the one who killed him? To destroy his nephew's most important person in the process, not only worldly by framing him for murder, but also spiritually by having someone (Home!) die from his cooking? I'm sure to Kid this was mostly a matter of hitting two flies with one stone but whether intentional or not this plan is clearly designed for maximum cruelty. And it's made even more cruel by the love and trust Home and Peach clearly have for each other, plain for everyone, even the evil uncle, to see. But he doesn't even grant Home the knowledge of being loved at the point of his death.
Stop trying to bury our gays you pos uncle!
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As a palate cleanser, please enjoy this image of the whole happy family. Including the dads, their daughter + her wife, and ... Suradech!
Lesbian Corner

Kan has been spending so much time with Pangpang that she's internalising her speech patterns.

And THIS is her reaction when Peach calls her out on it. Someone's in luuurve!
#every week i feel like i have hardly anything to say#and then i can barely fit all my screenshots into the post#also suradech: i'm sorry i ever doubted you. i hope you'll be ok next week#it's fine. after they've dealt with kid and grandpa they can all move to chiang mai together#after all peach's new appartment has two bedrooms. so pangpang can finally have her girlpower room with kan#and home can fulfill his pre even liking him dream of sharing a bed with peach#and i guess suradech can camp in the living room? maybe they've even got a pull-out sofa#it works i promise#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#also from the moment kid rolled out his teary confession i was (silently) screaming at peach to not let that man get in stabbing reach to#home and later to trust his instincts and go save home but alas. p'dome wants us all to get stress ulcers it seems
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Fanfics and art are telling me that the whole Megatron nearly killing Twitch when under Mandroid’s control thing in the Season 1 finale would have been a really interesting thing to explore after the fact. I mean, in the storyboards at least, Megatron was crying during that scene, it’s prime angst material
It’s really disappointing then that they didn’t do anything with this plot point. And worse, there was a 1 year timeskip between Seasons 1 and 2, so there’s barely any reason to bring it up other than it happening, nothing about their feelings on the matter
#like yeah I guess we can explore it in fan works and there’s good stuff about it#and I know the writers all got replaced after Season 1 and being from the finale means it’s most likely to be forgotten#without ever delving into it proper#but it does suck now that I’m thinking on it#especially since they’ve dealt with the aftermath of traumatic events before#like when Hashtag got hacked in the Home special#it could have been so good even as a semi background thing#like them distancing themselves from each other#Megatron because he doesn’t want to upset Twitch with his presence and Twitch bc she was afraid of him there#and in doing so making the other feel worse until it comes to a head at some point#and then having to confront it all#I don’t know but it could have been interesting to explore#but we won’t get that now#oh well I guess that’s what the fanfics are for#transformers#transformers earthspark#megatron#tf Twitch
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This alien queen can only be a queen because @surely-sims made this friggin amazing Patio of Tomorrow and then went on to make this most excellent set of Eventide Medieval Dresses.
The real queen here isn't the alien in the pictures, its Anne.
#got home from work tonight and FINALLY had time and energy to load up a CC game to play with surely-sims most awesome cc#had fun#Azuhra's Sims
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Just a rough drawing of Huck and his Big Eldritch Wife, trying to get back into the swing of things after not drawing for over a week 😩
#mine#Huck arcane#not too happy with how it came out but I’m at home now#I’m gonna be back to work tomorrow and it’s a long drive away#haven’t lived so far away from home in a couple years#but my rambling aside#yeah Huck would adore Viktors final form#rip my boy he never got to see it
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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got nothing done today except accidentally deleting all my files off the computer and having to recover them so basically i need to be frankly insanely productive tomorrow so i can go to my granddad's birthday on friday without stressing. of course there is no chance in hell this will happen but i can pretend for a little while longer
#i was in SUCH a good headspace earlier today as well#like actually motivated and somewhat focused and everything#but then i got stuck at my granddad's for like two hours#and had to eat dinner when i got home#and by the time i could finally start working i was so stressed about the wasted time#i couldn't focus anymore and then i started feeling really weird and by the time that passed my meds had worn off and all hope was lost#i mean i still feel Bad but i've more or less convinced myself it's anxiety#and if somehow it isn't then hopefully i will know soon 👍#literally not even stressed about whatever it is in itself its just id like to know if i can keep taking meds without making something worse#and i Have to take the meds to get shit done#but as long as i don't know the anxiety of taking the meds kinda voids the effects#otherwise my anxiety is better on meds though like mentally its better but the physical symptoms are worse#the parts i know for a fact are just anxiety that is#if it's ALL anxiety then thats kinda funny actually. like ok. logic#idk what the fuck im on about im in bed hopefully i can sleep soon so i can get up at ass oclock and wait for a message from the gp's office
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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This semi-mild cold has been an annoying start to this week 🤧😪
#ore no kao#feels mostly gone now after being in its clutches since sunday night#but on the bright side i got to skip the Tues/Wed office days and work from home all week#lots of sneezing and congestion with a very brief fever yday--likely thanks to my roomie's four day/nyquil pills#but phew#also finally almost caught up on work emails 📧#and just put out a vid for a ygo project i've been working on over on my sideblog for the interested#so feeling better 😌#(now to finally sleep 💤)#[should not tag-vent-rb before bed]#let's see if i feel up to a jog tmrw finally#[also jeez my nostrils need some r&r 😩]#(clarification: day/nyquil pills *keeping it from being worse probably lol)#if you read this far into my tags you are now imagining a smiling corgi doggo :)
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They called her Sister Pest, and Sister Obedience had been assigned to mentor her as a punishment. Yes, as a fully confirmed Sister of Sin, married to Satan and everything, it was pretty common for her to mentor the novitiates, but still.
It had been Terzo's idea. The bastard had laughed over it, like it was some kind of joke. Obedience was going to stop on his foot with her sharpest stiletto heel the next time she saw him.
Though she was so irritated that she probably shouldn't have been around people at all, she found Pest in the library, approaching with a sharp, "Sister."
(@sister-obedience)
Sister Pestilence, even at a distance, looked completely engrossed in the old dusty tome in her hands. Her mouth was moving, barely whispering each line under her breath, and every once in a while, she stopped to write something in a ratty blue notebook. She chewed on her pencil, waiting for her new mentor to arrive. She'd tried to insist she didn't need one, not wanting to burden anyone with it, but who was going to believe the word of the bonehead who nearly shrunk Terzo's concert suit just the other day when she was on laundry duty?
Those pants were tight enough, anyway.
Pestilence, upon being addressed, gave an undignified, shrill squeal as a much taller and rather displeased looking Sister fixed Pest to her seat with just a look. Pestilence clapped a hand over her mouth as a quiet chorus of shushes reverberated through the library.
"Um... Sister. Hi. Good morning. Or um, afternoon?"
#HI BESTIE 🖤🖤🖤#finally got home from work i was so excited to write this#ghost band#ghost oc#the band ghost
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