#finally got it back. immediately developed New problems. took it back in bc I could tell they were related to Old problems

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Actor: Has something ever gone missing and you can’t find it?

Lead Actor: Yeah, it’s called losing something.

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Hello boss! This idea just came up bcs it happened but can I request a hc with Marco during his young days of still adjusting to his full Zoan form?

I imagine him learning how to fly yet don't know how to land and just dove straight into someone (rip to the pigeon that didn't know how to pigeon and landed straight into my pool, don't worry the lil birdie is safe). And that someone is s/o who is always ready to save him unknowing that this unfortunate day she will be the receiving end of the burning turkey pineapple. You can make it as funny or fluff as you want, thank you!

Hey Boss Anon!!!! OMG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!! Omg Im excited to write this! So let's base this right around the time before he joins whiteboards crew. The quote referred on her was by Anne Baxter I hope you enjoy!

Marco x Fem reader: Still new to this

"Okay okay here we go again." he said. Taking a collective breath he began to form into the phoenix. No problem forming the bird but it was flying he was trying to nail it. Taking one leap in the air he began to sore into the sky. His arms were a bit wobbly, as he flapped his wings soaring higher and higher peaking down to to see the green hills and the homes below, the walk path as people looked up seeing the blue bird in the sky. Some people looked in amazed seeing the creature pass pointing as he flew by.. He was feeling very confident about his flying as he continued to soar through the sky.

Sure he got the flying down now but how to get down would be a challenge. He was looking for a place to settle down on the ground paying too much attention he didn't see the birds coming towards him. Last mins paying attention they startled him jerk down so he wouldn't clash into them.He couldn't control his flight anymore he was falling fast.

You were sitting down under a tree trying to finished a book. But something caught your eyes as you looked up. Seeing this blue creature falling from the sky almost like it was injured. You closed you book. It was too big to be a hawk or any kind of bird you seen before. Seeing it crashing into you pool. You immediately ran to the pool seen the creature struggling up you dove in.

Marco was stressing unable to breath feeling his body becoming heavy. Who the hell has a 8ft deep pool in their back yard. Is this how he was really going to die? Crap there was so much more he wanted to do with his life. Underneath the water his vision a bit blurry the chlorine from the water slightly burning his eyes . Feeling a pair of arms lifting him up. The first gasp of air was all he could think of. Feeling a bit light headed as he was looking up at the sky feeling himself being pulling out of the pool and laid on the floor. "Hey you are you okay?" your hands were on his cheeks peeking down at him the worried expression on your face. His vision was a bit blurry till his eyes settled the vision becoming clear his eyes looking back at yours. The slight bit a pink tinting covering his cheeks seeing the dewy wide eye girl looking back at him. Did she just jump in the pool and recuse me?

He sat up quickly turning his head to the side, blushing as he was scratch the back of his head. "thank you yoi"

"I could have sworn I seen a creature like bird falling from the sky." you looked at him.

"Well it was me too. Sorry still trying to figure out how to control it."

"Control it? Wait are you part bird?" cocking your brow at him. He let out a little laugh. As he explain he ate a devil fruit zoan type mythical creatures. You were rather intrigued how he was trying to control it but he was having the issues of landing.

"Why not slowing down the speed enough to start off." you suggested to him. He should have thought of that too.

"You might be onto something. I didn't get you name yoi." He looked at you pinning your hair up.

"Its _______. how about you bird man?" slightly teasing him.

"Bird man you have jokes I like that.... Marco."

"Before you fell into my pool I actually was reading mythical story. Maybe it was fate you may need to hear it the quote stated It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes"

~~~~~~~~~~

Once Marco finally mastered his flying and landing abilities it took weeks for him to do. You cheered him on throughout the whole way. He was pretty cute too maybe a crush developing. Hearing his dreams how he wanted to see the world. You knew he could do he had a lot of determination when his mind was set on something he was going to do it. When a prominent pirate by the name of Whitebeard came to the island he join his crew as an apprentice. Now you hear seeing him set off. You were going to miss the afternoons you both spent together. "I promise to write to you yoi." You rubbed your upper arm looking down. You didn't want to say goodbye yet. "what's with the long face?"

"Well you know I'm not going to see you anymore. You will see other people and forget about me." you avoided the eye contact with him.

"I won't forget about about you I promise that." he cradle you in his hands he kiss the tip of your nose then a small kiss on the lip. "Keep an eye for for my letters I will be back for you promise yoi."

[oreo-bixch]

I need to air out my brain so have some of my

Timkon headcanons

Kon developed a crush first. He really tried not to, but just couldn't stop himself. It was out of his control, completely smitten before he could register it

Tim just thought of them as close friends. Ironic how he's so smart and yet so oblivious to his own feelings. It wasn't until Kon came out as bi that he took a step back and realized that it was strange just how happy he was to know Kon wasn't straight.

If it were Bart coming out he'd be like "hey, nice bro" but when Kon did it he found himself thinking "omg omg omg he likes guys?? He likes guys??? Omg I'm a guy, that means he could like me. Omg wow that's so wild wow...now wait a damn minute-"

It was about 3 months of mutual pining until they finally confessed

Altho they definitely told Cassie

Poor Cassie was itching to just tell them already but she swore she wouldn't, and she's a very reliable person, would literally take a secret to the grave. She spent 3 months sitting back watching Tim and Kon pine after each other while knowing how they felt. It was torture

Meanwhile Bart was oblivious lmao

Bart's a great friend but he's not so good with secrets. He's got a little problem where he speaks before he thinks

Finally Kon made the first move...well kinda

He was sooo ready to just tell Tim in person, and then he settled on maybe a phone call, actually no, a text might work better...or maybe he'll just wait another week

And so he decided to have Cassie do it for him, what can I say, our boy Kon is afraid of rejection

It's bad enough Clark didn't wanna be his dad, what if Tim didn't wanna be his bf? That'd be harsh

And so Cassie called Tim up one evening and spilled the beans, which was a huge relief for her, and Tim was pleasantly surprised

He was also freaking out

He didn't know what to do, he wanted to call Kon immediately and tell him that he felt the same way, that he wanted to be more than friends, to be boyfriends. But then he collected himself, decided he wanted to tell him in person. Someone's gotta put on the brave face

So he texted Kon, asked if he was free to hang out at the Manor, talk abt a little something that Cassie brought up.

Kon was so nervous but he agreed and the next day he went over to the Manor.

Usually Conner was really chill with the Batfam, the Manor was practically a second home, but this time he was hella awkward. Mans was nervous

But they sat down in Tim's bed and talked. They talked abt everything, how long they've felt that way, how much they've been wanting to tell each other, when they first knew, I mean everything.

Kon asked what this meant, what this made them? And Tim said whatever he wanted

Kon had come out just 3 months prior to this and in a way, this was Tim's coming out. It was all so new for them, and it was nerve-wracking and exciting and crazy. But they were ready, and so they decided they would be boyfriends

Idk I guess that's how it works but anyway

Cassie was sooo happy for them and could finally spill all the beans

"omg FINALLY!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO KEEP QUIET ABT IT ALL"

And then Bart's just there like

"wait, Cassie knew? You told Cassie but not me??" >:/

Either way their friends were super happy for them

Tim told the Batfam abt a week later and everyone was super supportive and sweet about it. The Batfam actually likes Conner so they were excited for them

Alfred saw it coming a mile away, but he's happy for Tim since Conner's a good kid. A little obnoxious but they're a good fit

Dick was so happy for them, he likes all of Tim's friends and he knew for a while that they were a little closer than most. He accepted Conner into the family with open arms bc he's the best, like what do you expect

Jason was like "damn, didn't know u were bi. Cool tho, have fun dating ur annoying ass friend"

That's the extent of Jason's brotherly love

Damian was similar in that sense, he blatantly told Tim to his face that "Kent could do better but I suppose that's great news for you"

Bruce was happy asf for his son, being bi himself he was really supportive and proud of him. Plus Conner wasn't all that bad, yea he knocked over that expensive vase that one time and he's always yelling during sleepovers and he nearly ran over their cat that other time but hey, he's a good kid.

Babs and Cass and Duke were all happy for Tim too, Steph found out a few months later just bc her and Tim are exes. Not that there's bad blood between them, things just get a little awkward sometimes.

Kon didn't tell his family until about 2 months into their relationship. Except for Jon, he found out the same week but was sworn to secrecy.

Kon was really nervous to come out and tell his family bc he didn't know how Clark or Lex would react. He wasn't too worried abt Lois, he knew she would be supportive. But Clark and him were constantly at each other's throats and Lex wasn't all that good at listening or connecting to Kon.

Despite his daddy issues tho, both dads were really accepting of Kon and we're happy for him and Tim. Clark gave Kon the biggest hug and assured him that no matter how much they fought, he'd always be there for him. Lex also, surprisingly, hugged Conner and told him that who he loved didn't matter to him.

Kon and Tim's favorite date spot is this humble little coffee shop on a corner in Metropolis. Tim can feed his caffeine addiction and Kon can stuff his face on their freshly baked pastries

Altho Lex really wanted some of those WayneTech secrets

And yea those are my hcs on how it all started :)

I'll make another post for my other hcs since this one is long enough

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Prompt: You have always had a problem with self image. To you, there would always be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone more worthy of love, but to Fred, you are the most amazing person in the world, and he’s determined to make you see that.

A/N: I’M GOING THROUGH IT CAN YOU TELL??? Anyway, I really just wanted to feel loved, so I wrote Fred being amazing and stuff, so yeah! Also, Yule ball bc I fucking love writing it, its so cute and fun.

Warnings: Kind of angsty but ends fluffy, Swearing, so many commas, Fred being *soft*. SELF DEPRICATION!!! I truly believe everyone reading this is absolutely beautiful and kind and amazing in their own unique way, this is just how I be feeling sometimes.

You walked down the hallway, holding your books close to your chest and trying not to bump into anyone. You were headed straight back to the Gryffindor common room, just wanting the day to be over.

For the past few weeks, all you could feel was dread. The Yule ball was coming up, and while a night full of dancing and music and having fun sounded amazing, you also knew you weren't going to be asked to go.

Now, you only had a week until the ball, and you were planning on how you were going to spend the night, probably reading, and talking with your owl, seeing nobody would be around.

You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. You felt like no matter how many times you tried to be funny or open, you were always met with a closed door. No matter how much effort you put into your appearance, you ended up looking the same, or worse. No matter how much you studied, you were always a little more behind than you wanted to be. No matter what you did, someone was doing it better.

Of course nobody saw you that way, and especially not Fred Weasley. You had become good friends with the Weasley twins your first day at Hogwarts. You were all in the same year, and got along quite well, seeing the three of you all had a bit of a mischievous streak. But Fred noticed that over the years, you seemed less like yourself. You were more introverted, you didn’t laugh as openly as you used to, you didn’t smile as much, and it broke his heart.

Fred had developed a crush on you around 5th year. He loved everything about you, how your laugh was louder than others, how your eyes crinkled when you smiled, how you were kind and open to everyone you met, how you were able to make him laugh, but also take him seriously when he was hurting. Of course George started to notice, and would tease him constantly.

“Just ask her out!” George would say, which would just make the older red head smile but shake his head.

“If she said no it would ruin our friendship, I don’t want to lose her” Fred would say, wishing situations would be different.

However, Fred was now watching you as you sped walked down the hallway to the common room. He could tell something was off, so he shouldered George, signaling that he was going to break off for a bit, before following you into the common room.

You quickly muttered the password and went inside. The common room was empty, which was a huge plus for you, not wanting to be social for the rest of the day. You took no time plopping your things down before laying back on one of the couches. Maybe now you could get some reading done in peace and not have to think about-

“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked. you hadn’t heard him walk in and the sound of his voice made you jump.

“Oh! Fred, uh yeah, yeah I’m fine why?” You asked, heart beating quickly but not because of the recent scare.

You had also been crushing on the Older Weasley twin for a while. You loved how he always wanted to make you smile, even on the days you thought nothing could make you feel better. He introduced you to his family, who you love dearly, and also made you feel somewhat appreciated. Like you knew that he wanted you around. Of course you would never tell him your feelings, too afraid that he would reject you, and ruin your friendship.

“Well, I saw you walking in here and I thought you looked a little overwhelmed, so I wanted to see if there was anything I could do?” Fred asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Really its nothing, my brain is just somewhere else today I guess” You said, trying to move past the topic.

“Well I’m all ears if you want to talk” He said, coming over and sitting across from you on the same couch you were currently resting on. 

There was a part of you that didn’t want to bother him. That he would surely be uninterested in any personal problems you may be having. But then there was another part of you who knew him as your oldest friend. As the person who has been by your side through everything, and suddenly before you could stop yourself, the words were tumbling out of your mouth.

“Its stupid, but I’m just bummed out that I’m not going to the Yule ball” You said, causing Fred's eyes to widen a bit but you didn’t notice, too busy looking down at your hands.

“Why aren't you going?” Fred asked

“Well I was thinking of just going with some friends, but most of my friends already have dates and going alone would look lame as fuck. So I think I would rather just stay in and read or something” You said, shrugging a bit.

“Well I don't have a date” Fred said, taking you both by surprise.

“You don't?” You asked, genuinely surprised he hadn’t asked someone, or at least been asked by some other girls who you knew where fawning over him. In reality, Fred was thinking about how he would ask you, and whether or not you already had a date.

“Nope, so if you want we can go together so you we don’t have to suffer alone all night” Fred said, adding some humor to the conversation. You smiled at him, before thinking it over. 

“He’s only asking you as a friend” You thought to yourself.

“Sure! God knows what kind of trouble you would get into having to spend a whole night alone” You said, causing the both of you to laugh a bit.

“Great, so I’ll see you there?” He asked, to which you nodded your head.

“I’ll be there” You said smiling, before Fred rose to rejoin George, and tell him about the best thing that has happened to him all year.

The rest of the week went by in a flash. You and Fred were each to busy with either school or quidditch practice to really talk to each other, and you barely had time to go out and find a dress, but finally, the Yule ball was here, and you were freaking out.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You practically yelled to Angelina, who was sitting on her bed watching and you paced back and forward in your dress.

“You’re going on a date with the guy you’ve had a crush on since first year. What's the problem?” Angelina asked

“It wasn’t since first year!” You defended, before adding “And the problem is that I’m probably in love with him, and he probably thinks were only going together as friends, and I’m going to have to see him, and talk to him, and dance with him for HOURS while trying not to look like an idiot!”

“Y/n, I promise you wont look like an idiot, you look hot as hell” She said. You sent a look her way, causing her to laugh. “I’m being serious! this dress looks amazing on you, your hair is perfect, and I did your makeup so you know it could be better if you tried, you’re going to be great, so shut up and get your shoes on they’re waiting for us” 

“Fine you said, finally stopping your pacing and taking a deep breath. What's the worst that could happen? A lot, but still, try and think positive.

Fred was standing at the bottom of the grand staircase waiting for you and Angelina to come down, Angelina being Georges date. Fred however couldn’t stop fiddling with the cuff of his jacket, which was starting to annoy George.

“Mate seriously, just chill out I’m sure everything's fine” George said, trying to somewhat relive his brothers anxiety.

“I know, I know, but what if she changed her mind, or-” Fred started, about to go off on a rant before being stopped when a sharp elbow jabbed him in the ribs. Fred was about to go off on George for the stab, but before he could he followed his eyes to the staircase, on which you and Angelina were currently walking down.

You looked amazing. Your hair framed your face perfectly, your dress coming down to your ankles and the color complimenting your skin tone. You were wearing heels, which only made you slightly taller but still, it was a few more inches that allowed you and Fred to almost be face to face. He was absolutely gobsmacked.

You were walking down the stairs, desperately trying not to trip with these shoes which you were not used to wearing and taking in the sight of Fred. He was wearing a dashing suit, and you could tell he had done his hair a bit, but besides that he was still Fred, the same Fred that made you laugh and made you feel wanted. The same Fred you fell in love with.

You finally reached the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with Fred, who still hasn’t said a word, the mere sight of you making his brain short circuit.

“Wow that bad?” You asked jokingly, but deep down you were a little worried about his lack of a reaction.

“What? No! No, you look amazing!” Fred said quickly, causing you to smile and blush a bit.

“Why thank you, you don't look to bad yourself” You said, and Fred couldn’t help but smile back.

“Shall we?” He asked, sticking out his left arm which you accepted.

“We shall” You said, causing the both of you to laugh before walking into the ball room.

The night was everything you expected and more. There was dancing and amazing music, and every once in a while you and Fred would just take a break and talk.

You were laughing with Fred about  new prank idea when something caught your eye. There where two girls on the opposite side of the room, looking at the two of you and whispering to each other. Immediately your anxiety got the better of you, and all confidence you had gained during the ball now seemed to disappear.

“Would you excuse me for a second?” You asked, causing Fred’s eyes to furrow before he nodded, allowing you to pass him and walk out of the ball room. Fred watched as you left, before turning and making eye contact with George, who then made a hand motion at him to go follow you. So without thinking, he took off and tried to find where you went.

You were now standing outside, your elbows resting on a stone wall as you looked over the grounds, letting the cool autumn air wash over your skin and calm your nerves. You tried to relax but your mind couldn’t help but wander. This was stupid, you shouldn’t have come, you should have just stayed in your room and-

“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked walking towards you, again causing you to jump a bit

“Hey Fred, yeah I’m ok I just wanted to get some air. You can go back if you want I wont mind” You said, trying to calm your breathing.

“Well I’m not going back without my date” Fred said goofily, coming to stand next to you and rest him arms by yours, but you didn’t laugh, just shook your head.

“You don’t have to call me your date Fred, I know you only asked me as a friend, so you don’t have to call this something its not” You said.

“What?” Fred asked, genuinely confused as to what you were talking about.

“Come on Fred, I know you only asked me because you felt bad. You didn’t have to waste your night on me I’m sure there are plenty of other girls you would have rather gone with” You said, still not looking at him.

“Why would I want to go with anyone else Y/n? You’re my best friend” Fred said, trying to make his feelings clear without actually having to say them just in case things didn’t go in the direction he wanted.

“Exactly, I’m your friend. You’ll only ever see me as a friend. You should be here with someone you like, someone you care about, someone who makes you happy and who you want to dance with and who you want to spend your time with” You said

“I already think all of that when I’m with you” Fred said, still not quite sure what you were saying.

“No you don't, not romantically. You could have asked any girl you wanted to come to the ball with you. Girls who are much prettier and funnier and more outgoing than me. Someone who you don’t have to ask out because you feel bad, but someone who you actually want to be with” you said, quickly wiping some tears that were threatening to fall.

Suddenly all the pieces came together for Fred. Why you had been so distant as of late, why you hadn’t been being yourself, why you seemed so low all the time. It was because at some point along the way, you developed an image of yourself that you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or funny enough. An image that wasn’t true, and to Fred, you were all of those things and more.

“Y/n, please look at me” Fred said, causing you to let out a breath before finally meeting his eye.

Your eyes shone from your recent tears, making them that much brighter, the moonlight danced off your skin and made your face seem to glow. Fred saw you, and saw the person he loved, and the person he needed to show was everything he would ever want. He took a deep breath, before bringing his hands up to cup your face and closing the space between you two, connecting his lips to yours.

You took a second to respond, mostly because you were in your head thinking ‘what the fuck, is this actually happening?!’ but then you took no time to melt into his touch, moving to hold his arms. After a while, you both finally pulled away, Fred looking into your eyes and smiling.

“Y/N, you are the funniest, most beautiful, most kind person I have ever known. I knew when I met you on our first day, I knew when I fell for you in fifth year, and I knew when I asked you to the ball last week. There is no one here I would rather be with than you” Fred said, causing tears to well in your eyes but this time in happiness.

“You had a crush for me in fifth year?” You asked, making both you and Fred laugh.

“Yes, and for some reason I still do, but hey if you don’t feel the same way I can just-” Fred started but you cut him off, grabbing his suit coat and bringing his lips down to meet yours again.

“I like you too” you said, quickly breaking the kiss to speak, “since sixth year”

“So, technically speaking you could say that I like you more than” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.

“Don’t ruin the moment” You joked, causing the two of you to laugh before re connecting your lips again.

The Yule ball was absolutely better than you could have ever expected.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Woooooo I hope you liked it! But yeah if you read this and really connected with it in the “I’m not feeling great about myself” kind of way, my DMs are always open, and I’m always happy to talk, so feel free to hmu. I love you all, you’re all amazing and beautiful and awesome, and thank you for reading <3

[lunestael]

This is how I’ve spent all my days sent finishing the latest chapter. I love all of the different scenarios you’re considering. And am excited to meet someone as invested! I hope you don’t mind me joining you

Having Sugu vs Suku would be a nice shot at redemption, but I feel like it would be too happy and neat for Sugu to turn all humans in a more palatable way AND defeat Suku, you know? And I kind of like the idea of Sugu coming back, but struggling to earn that redemption and struggling to find a new place for himself.

Kind of off topic, but that was one of my favorite parts of Zuko’s arc. When he was trying to join Aang and the gang (lol) and they didn’t immediately accept him. It made the arc more impactful I think bc when you burn bridges/ betray people over and over, it’s really hard to redeem yourself . And sometimes not possible at all.

Idk, I think that could be a fair balance of heartache and suffering. Bc we could get Sugu back. (Bc Gege is going to give him back right?…he wouldn’t write that in for no reason, I agree. Plsplspls) But he would have all of this new, pretty heavy, work and development to do, you know?

You’ve got a sick arsenal of plots! I hope whatever we get is good

its super fun theorizing and trying to patch up all of gege’s hints at how the storys gonna end so im super hyped about that :o)

“Having Sugu vs Suku would be a nice shot at redemption, but I feel like it would be too happy and neat for Sugu to turn all humans in a more palatable way AND defeat Suku, you know?”

I wouldn’t say I want Sugu to come in deus ex machina style and take care of everything, i think jujutsu kaisen in the end is yuji’s story and i wouldn’t want gege to try to deviate from that especially for the ending, but at least provide a turning point like Todo did for the final Mahito battle in Shibuya, but mostly I thought of this idea as a way to efficiently move the story forwards AND offer Sugu a redemption arc at the same time, like two birds with one stone kind of deal. 

“And I kind of like the idea of Sugu coming back, but struggling to earn that redemption and struggling to find a new place for himself. “

My only problem with this is the time constraint, especially because redemption arcs are notoriously ORNEROUS and time consuming to do effectively (using your Zuko example, which took like 2 seasons to do?) and Gege seems ready to wrap everything up soon which makes me lean more towards if Sugu were to come back, his time would be pretty short-lived. They could always leave his redemption arc as like an assumption post-ending situation but :o// i dunno if i’d like that either, would feel like a cop out probably.

as i think about it more, i think it would be more fitting for Geto to come back, provide a turning point for the final battle, and then die a “proper death” and put to peace finally. it would fit in well with the story’s central theme of “what is a proper death”, and give Geto, who has probably been given the LEAST proper death of anyone in the story so far (having his body fucking hijacked and forced resurrection even after his best friend mercifully tried to end his misery), a final definitive end to his story. as much as i love suguru so dearly, i think his story is  best laid in history and in memory.

[yangrdn]

Cherry Chap Stick

pairing: Mj x Fem!Reader

a/n: it literally took me MONTHS to finish this bc of lack of motivation and time. But oh my god ... it’s finally done!! Bad news: there’s gonna be a part 2 to this, because else I wouldn’t post it now. It’s my longest fic so far, but ig i’ll write more in future or also part it in 2 parts. enjoy!!

part 2

Summary: You ask your crush, or uses to be crush, for help

words: 2.3k

Warnings: none

my masterlist

→ → → → → → → →

Your heart drops at the sight of the two of them laughing at something he whispered into her ear. Peter and Mj have been spending a lot of time together lately and you don't know how to feel about it. You'd be happy, of course, but then again, you wish you could sit there. No, not with Peter, but with Mj. 

You look back down to your open spanish book and try to concentrate on the task, blocking out the giggles leaving her mouth after he told another, what seems to be, joke. Your mind is racing 100 miles a second trying to find out the answer to the question in your book and trying to listen to the two of your friends at the same time, until, finally, your teacher tells you to pack your things and gives you the homework for the next week. You quickly pack your things and storm out, trying not to walk with Peter and Mj, but you fail. 

"Hey!" You turn around to be met with Peter waving at you and smiling. You smile back and greet him with a quiet 'hello' before letting your head sink again. 

"What's wrong? You seem so...off?" he seemed to notice. Usually you're the one talking non stop and telling him about your week and other exciting things, so of course your sudden silence worries him.

"I just...I don't know. I'm just thinking." You sigh and turn your head to him to let him know you are ok. 

Your mind was racing 100 miles a second. Two days ago you thought you had a crush on your best friend, Peter, turns out you were wrong. So. Very. Wrong. You were sitting in front of your phone when you realized. Katy perry's voice repeating the words over and over again as you scrolled through the endless amount of videos with the same sound on TikTok. In every single video, the girl was kissing another girl and you just couldn't stop thinking about it. What if the girl could've been you and...her? First you thought it was Peter, but then you noticed the different feeling you got thinking about her and let your phone drop. This was all so new for you. 

"About what?" he asks, "you know, you can tell me anything. We're best friends, right?" he says now, much more concerned. You sigh and continue walking after you nod. 

You have only liked boys, and now a girl? At first you tried to excuse it as platonic love. I mean, friends are very close to each other, right? Like, hugging and kissing each other's cheeks? Or cuddling and wanting the other to care about you. But the way you thought about her crossed the line between friends and lovers already. 

You are sitting next to Peter at lunch, whilst Ned is talking about some new lego set he got a week ago. He seems excited so you try your best to seem interested and look like you're listening. But a certain someone keeps distracting you.

"Are you even listening?" Mj snaps her fingers in front of your face twice and laughs. 

"Huh? Uh, yes. I was just thinking...about," you look around the room, "someone." Ned's eyes widen as he sends Peter a look. 

"About someone? Uhm, who?" Peter sits up straighter and purses his lips, trying not to seem interested. You bite the inner side of your cheek and look at Mj, but her head is buried back into her book. 

You sigh. "It's no one, I gotta go." You take your backpack and leave the room, not daring to look behind you. 

After school you don't hesitate before packing your things and going out, leaving your friends confused behind you, calling your name. 

First thing you do is run into your room and close the door, after throwing our backpack on the floor. You let yourself fall face-first on your bed and lay there for some minutes on your stomach, thinking about today, and Mj. 

"Whyyyyy" you whine and turn around laying on your bed. You didn't even have someone to talk about it. You can't tell Mj, because she would ask how you found out and about who you thought. Ned? No, he would go and tell someone else, even on accident.               

Your parents? You don't know how Steve would react. Sure, he is very accepting and you don't think he would bash or embarrass you, but things were way different back then. Bucky? No, he would tell Steve. That leaves you no other chance but to go to your other best friend, Peter. Even if it means risking and telling him you had a crush on him, or at least thought you liked him in that way. 

You quickly jump out of your bed and grab your phone, which lays on the floor after you failed to throw it on your bed. 

The phone rings twice before you hear Peter's voice from the speaker.

"Hello?" 

"Peter, do you have a minute?" you ask, fumbling with your fingers and biting your bottom lip. Your voice probably shaes, because he immediately notices. 

"Uh, yeah. Did something happen? Should I come over?" You smile at him worrying and shake your head, forgetting that he can't see you. 

"Yes and yes. Maybe you can come over now? It's nothing bad, promise. I just...need to talk, y'know?" 

"Yeah, yeah. K, I'll be there in 10," he says and hangs up. 

You quickly lay your phone on your desk and run to the bathroom, washing your face and breathing in and out. How are you going to tell him? "oh yeah, hey Pete. So uhhh...I thought I had a crush on you because I was sad when I saw you and Mj together but turns out that I actually had a crush on Mj and was mad that she was with you." ? No, absolutely not. 

Your heart starts to beat faster after you hear a silent knock on your door. 

"Uh..come in!" You say and leave the bathroom to sit on the bed in the middle of your room. Your heartbeat is so loud and strong, that you're sure Peter can hear it the minute he enters your room. 

"Hey! Is everything alright? You sounded so...worried on the phone," he asks and sits next to you. 

"Uh..yes? I actually wanted to ask you something and don't know how to start..." You look down at your feet on the floor, knitting your hands and biting your lip again. How are you supposed to tell him you've fallen for a girl? Your best friend?

"What's it about? You know you can trust me, right? You're my best friend, I'll always listen to you." You smile at his tenderness and feel another warm feeling spread through you, which makes you stop for a second. But it's not the same warmth you get when talking with Mj or just looking at her. You sigh. 

"It's kind of complicated. I...like someone and 

don't know how to feel about it?" You look up and into his brown eyes. You catch him staring at your lips and quickly look away again, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his presence. 

"Uhm...that's great?" he says, which comes out more like a question than a statement. 

"Who's it?" he digs in deeper.

 "Oh, is it Brad? Or Flash? Well, I don't think you're in love with Flash, because he-" 

"That's the problem," you calmly say whilst looking anywhere but at him. 

"Problem? So...it is Flash? Or someone else you can't ge-" 

"Peter, it's not even a boy!" you sigh and throw yourself back, now laying on your back and hiding your face in your hands. You feel a blush creep up your face and spread at the back of your neck. 

“Uh...what?” he asks, in hopes he heard you wrong. “You’re in love with a...girl?” he asks again. You feel tears prick your eyes at the way he says girl, as if he is filled with disgust. You nod once and risk moving your hands away from your eyes, opening your eyes and meeting his gaze. The moment he notices the tears in your eyes, his eyes soften too and he sighs. 

“I didn’t mean to sound so...rude. I just- it 's, ugh.” He sighs again and looks up. 

“I didn’t expect that, like, at all. Who 's it?” 

You sit up and take a look at him before speaking up. 

“Will you promise me not to judge?” you ask.

“I’d never, promise,” he says and shakes his head. 

“Uhm, it’s one of our friends. Her name’s,” you exhale, “Mj.” You immediately look away when her name leaves your mouth and squint your eyes, scared of Peter’s reaction. 

“I- Mj?” he asks, trying to make sure that he heard you right. You turn your head to him and nod, biting the inner side of your cheek, a habit you get every time you are nervous in a situation. He quickly lowers his head low, scared you would notice the tears filling his eyes at the mention of his and your best friend. 

These past days, he did notice your gaze resting on him and it gave him hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same towards him. But every time he would meet your longing stares and dreamy expression, Mj was next to him. So you didn’t look at him, you were looking at Mj this whole time. And Mj was only hanging out with Peter so often last week, because he asked her if she could help him, help him to ask you out. All the struggle to think about what you are interested in for nothing. 

“Yes? You’re- you’re not mad right? I mean, you like her a-” you get cut off by him.

“I’m not mad. And uhm...how did you find out?” he asks now, directly looking into your eyes. Your cheeks redden and you exhale before explaining. 

“Uhm, y’know how Mj and you have been hanging out a lot together, lately?” He nods. “Well, I thought you were the one I had a crush on because I got mad so fast...turns out it was her the whole time.” You feel him shift next to you and sit up straight, inhaling. 

“Uh-” His voice cracks and he coughs. “You..you don’t like me? As in, more than a friend?” You shake your head and sigh again. 

“No. Like I said; it was Mj this whole time, but I thought it was you because…, you trail off and look up at the ceiling as another rush of embarrassment runs through you. 

“Because?” 

“I did like you for a long time in 7th grade, but then when we met Mj and she started to hang out with us, with you, I guess I didn’t really think about how I lost feelings for you, and developed some for her.” 

“Okay, so what exactly do you want to do now? Do you- do you want to confess? I don’t kno-”

“Ughhhh, why’s life so complicated?” You let yourself fall back, back pressed against your bed and with your hands covering your teary eyes. Peter takes your hands and makes you open your eyes, looking up at him. He caresses his thumb over your palm and gives you a smile. 

“Do you want to confess to her? Like, tell her you’re..?” He stops and frowns.

“Bi? I mean, at least I think I’m bi...I’m still new to this, but I guess that’s it, I still have time to figure it out..so.” You shrug and sit up again. You are not wrong. You still had time to figure this all out, and at the moment, that was the label you felt comfortable with. You liked Peter, and then Mj. 

“Yeah, that. Do you want to tell her first and see how she reacts? I mean, you should feel comfortable doing that, so if you don’t, it’s ok. But it’d be better if you did- not that I’m pressuring you or anything. I really want you to feel comf-” You let out a breathy laugh as you feel your cheeks heat up again.

 You loved how much he cared about you, one of the reasons why you  thought about telling him first, before anyone else. He always wanted to make sure all his friends and important people, to him, were safe and felt comfortable with telling him important things. Like right now, he’s thankful that you trusted him enough to talk about this. 

“Peter, breath! It’s okay, really, I’m comfortable right now.” He nods and lets go of your hand again. 

“Thank you,” you look at him through your lashes and catch a smile from him. 

“Always. But what are you gonna do? Do you- do you want to tell your parents first?” 

“I don’t know. I just want to think about everything at first, and then later on tell someone else, y’know? Not tryna rush this or anything.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” 

For the rest of the day, you were thinking about how to tell your parents and if you were right or not. Your mind kept telling you that you don’t like her. Maybe it was just thinking she was pretty? Maybe you were just longing for touch and because she was not touchy, you liked the idea of hugging her and being the only one to do so. But maybe, the thought that kept you up the whole night, you were faking it all and still liked Peter and your mind was playing tricks with you. Regardless, you just couldn’t close your eyes and rest for a second, the thought of your parents, the Avengers or any other of your friends reacting bad and being disgusted. 

But then again, if they really loved you, they wouldn’t think any less of you. And you also didn’t know their views on these type of things, so you could be completely wrong. 

→ → → → → → → →

》feedback is appreciated!《

[yeochikin]

[ 13:16 ]

"well, if it isn't ms. amaryllis."

y/n's shoulders flinched ever so slightly at the sudden voice suddenly appearing behind her during the brief moment of admiring flowers, sitting prettily in their pots, before looking behind her. there, stood her best friend, florist!mingi with his usual bright grin plastered over his lips.

y/n took the short opportunity to glance over at the said male. he was dressed in his usual getup, a plain yellow sweater paired with washed denim jeans, an apron over the two garments, and the circle rimmed glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose. she noticed a few dirt stains on the said apron, and some were even on his cheek. judging by the soil, he must've been tending the flowers while y/n was busy looking through the various types of plants. maybe even before she came.

"and if it isn't mr. sunflower!" she happily greeted, bouncing up on the balls of her feet once she stood in front of him.the nickname never failed to make the tall man's cheeks grow a faint shade of pink despite the growing grin painting over his features, no matter how many times she had called him that.

being a florist and having the little business handed down from his grandparents, mingi had studied the meaning of flowers which he had found the joy in to the extent of excitedly associating each flower to his friends, y/n included. but y/n, on the other hand, was still quite new to this world of flowers along with their certain meanings. all her life, she merely thought all flowers were beautiful in their own way and thought it would be good gifts for any occasion, not even realising what it could mean.

it was when she met mingi that she finally understood what each flower represented. from then on, y/n and mingi would always spend their weekends at each other's house to learn new meanings, the male mostly doing the teaching while y/n just listened intently next to him with eyes full of curiosity and interest. from all the learning, comes a tight bond between the two of them. they're practically attached to the hip wherever they go!

"what brings you here today?" he asked, using a napkin to wipe away the dirt off of his cheek.

"i'd like to buy a small bouquet of roses. do you have any?"

her question caught mingi off guard, making him emit a low chortle before leading her in further into the shop, where the little station meant for bouquets was at.

"ah, got someone you've been eyeing on? is that why you wanna give them this bouquet?"

roses. everyone knew what roses meant in the language of flowers. heck, even the ones who never learned the meaning would know about this particular flower. it would be a lie to say that mingi wasn't jealous even in the slightest. he had somehow developed a little crush towards the girl, not knowing it would somehow grow whenever she looked up at him with her big and jovial eyes, her cute little laugh whenever she made a mistake with the flowers' meanings, the way she bit her lip when concentrating on her notes, and even the way she scrunched her nose whenever she was flustered.

though he did what he did best whenever y/n had come up to him to talk about her crushes.

bury his feelings deep down in his chest.

"you could say that. i think... the feelings for him have grown rather apparent after the years of knowing him." she mumbled, sitting on the stool as her doe eyes watched the way his nimble fingers worked on the bouquet she had requested.

with that, mingi's eyebrows furrowed. a few years? he's her best friend, and of course, the first one she turns to whenever she had boy problems. could it be that he had missed something of some sort? has she been talking about another boy with her other friends?

brushing the thought off, mingi tried to remain as neutral as possible in the current situation, taping the wrapper around the flowers with gentle fingers and intent eyes. inspecting the bouquet for a few times, he carefully handed them to her, smiling gently upon seeing y/n's face brightening up.

"do i know the guy?" he inquired, leaning his elbows on the table with his eyebrows raised.

"you know him very well." y/n responded, somehow squirming in her seat as if she was nervous about something, judging by the way her nose was scrunching up.

someone he knew very well? could it be yunho? well, mingi wouldn't even deny. yunho's really good looking, and the puppyish look on his face whenever he was excited never failed to make everyone swoon and coo over him. but then again, yunho is already dating someone. and obviously y/n isn't the type to steal someone away.

"okay, you got me confused there. we have almost the same circle of friends. who is i-"

before his sentence was finished, a bouquet of roses was pointed towards him, the end of the bouquet being held by a rather flustered y/n, cheeks almost as red as the said flowers.

"it's you. i have feelings for you." the young woman bashfully muttered, teeth sinking down on the plush muscle of her lower tier.

silence.

silence hung over the two. mingi staring down at her with wide eyes and jaw dropped, was he dreaming? no, the smell of soil and roses were enough to tell him that this in fact was not a dream.

seeing how the male was silent, y/n was about to think it was some sort of rejection, getting up from the stool and emitting small apologies to the taller male in front of her, already turning around to leave the place. and probably never coming back to the shop.

it was then a large hand grabbed onto her wrist, turned her petite frame around, and pulled her into a tight embrace. mingi's cheek nuzzled against the top of her head with a large beam plastered over his brims. the actions were enough to make y/n feel the heavy weight lift off of her shoulders, immediately returning the embrace with her own, hearing mingi softly whisper into her ear.

"i have feelings for you too."

a/n: wow this was kinda long. and yes, i am having mingi feels. how can i not when he looks like an excited baby despite being tall and will most probably accidentally step on me as if i was an ant? 😔✌️fjdjdjd also, please forgive me if i have the wrong meanings bcs i am also a big dumb baby when it comes to flowers 👉👈 anyways, hope you enjoyed reading this! and again, so sorry for any mistakes!

[konaizumi]

Gen Y ep 11 thoughts/reaction

- yeees, make thanuwayu canon!

- i literally just want wayu to be happy

- one of my favorite things about this show is how mature the characters feel, like a majority of the conflicts are caused by the characters being confused or unsure of their feelings and trying to take time to work through them and this unintentionally hurts other characters, but this feels more genuine than a bunch of drama created by stupid misunderstandings and characters being petty, and yes, communication would help a lot of these problems, but it never feels like the writers are just adding things in for no other reason than ‘drama’

- anyways, back to thanuwayu and that beautiful hug and wayu’s precious smile

- that brief flash of thanu’s smile, looking so genuinely happy to have wayu in his arms

- poor phai tho, I don’t want any of my babies getting hurt

- anybody else freak out for a second when he took off his shirt in the mirror and worry that he had gotten the tattoo then were immediately relieved when his back was still bare? just me?

- i tend to prefer college shows rather than high school ones, but my favorite thing about high school thai bls is how accurately they portray high school boys, just boys goofing off, showing their sexy hips

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already, i liked you a lot better when your genre was fluff

- watching pok being all flirty and douchy just seems out of character

- 15 min in and still no markkit

- i’m glad the whole blackmailing plot has now been fully explained, but seeing sandee suddenly smirking and being an asshole is giving me the same feelings as when poktong got weirdly aggressive last ep (by feelings i mean confusion and dislike)

- i wanted phai to end up with sandee bc sandee was so cute and sweet but i don’t know if i want that anymore

- also i forgive tong a little bit for what he did (getting pok beat up not switching the test scores) knowing that he had good(ish) intentions, he still fucked up tho and did a bad thing

- i’m calling it now, either next ep or next season, right when poktong is finally making progress, pok will find out about the switched scores and bam, drama

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already

- i know this scene is supposed to be romantic and all but i can’t stop cringing at the placement of the kisses, like next to the mouth but not quite the cheek? the chin??

- back to my preferred high school babies

- i can’t stop laughing at how they all got the coming of age parted bangs hairstyle to symbolize that they’re in college now

- all the high school babies look good except for pok who now has too much forehead, not that his style before was great but it was better

- thanu is such boyfriend material

- that phaiwayu hug hurts my soul, wayu looks so happy, i just want them both to be happy and not get hurt

- Finally!! 25 min in and finally we get markkit

- i want more of this thanu, thanu with a smile and joking around with his friends

- I really want jiw’s butterfly shirt

- jack and jew kidknapping mark like that was prob my favorite moment of the whole episode, that gif is now my header

- alright, padbok is back, still waiting for their story, but i kinda hope their resolution waits till season 2 bc i want character development for padbok and there’s already so much that needs to happen next ep that i think his story would only be rushed and somewhat glossed over

- i know some people hate padbok, and i also find him annoying, but ever since they dropped the idea of padbok x sab in an earlier ep, all i want is padbok redemption ark

- i guess thanu is somehow going to feature in the poktong story

- i absolutely love sab and klui, they are my favorites of the high school babies

- i guess i can’t call them high school babies anymore

- jackkoh, just admit your feelings for each other already

- aww, markkitwayu choosing custody over the babies, mark wants to be a good senior so badly

- soon as kit said they hadn’t picked a medicine beau, i was like, it’s going to be tong, and i was right, it’s ittpai all over again, but whether it’s better or worse remains to be seen

- kit really does attract the beau’s doesn’t he

- don’t worry mark, you’re much prettier than pok

- pls give me more kitwayu bonding and helping each other heal from pha

- damn kit, you were so close to getting phai to spill

- yes phai, make kit move in with mark

- i absolutely need to know what kit’s test is for phai’s suitors

- i would just like to admire dun’s ability to look so completely lovestruck, like his gaze is just so full of love and it’s so sweet

- that kiss was so cute, i’m sorry i ever doubted you thanuwayu

- that’s pha’s car isn’t it? he’s watching them? I thought he would come back this ep and cause some drama, but he didn’t so he has to come back next ep right?

- i like that they’ve softened poktong bc i like them much better as friends to lovers rather than enemies to lovers

- honestly, their story has a lot of potential but something about it is just really not working well for me and i think its the weird aggression bc they don’t annoy me when their being sweet and smiling. I think if pok had more of a bad boy vibe originally it would’ve been better bc the aggression wouldn’t seem so ooc and the conflict would feel a bit more natural

- their story also has a ton of parallels to ittpai (my gear your gown), so im interested how it’s going to go bc i did like ittpai despite the narrative issues of that show

- poktong: *doing whatever tf they’re doing*

  mark: tf did i just step in

- i really appreciate thanu just saying straight out that he has feelings for wayu, i know he struggled with it, but i like him coming to this point that’s like yes, he feels an attraction to phai, he feels drawn to him and he’s seen their poential future, but right now he has actual, solid feelings for wayu built up from their interactions over months

- what he has with phai isn’t real--it could be real, if he went down that path and choose to get closer to phai, but right now his feelings for wayu are real, so that’s what he’s choosing

- him saying they should never meet again was a little tho, spare my poor baby phai at least a little bit

- i get a dose of serotonin every time i see kit wearing mark’s gear

- the markkit is lacking this ep but they are trying to make up for it with all this good good thanuwayu content

- i’m torn between wanting and not wanting thanu to tell wayu about phai bc it will hurt wayu if he does but it’s gonna hurt more later on when wayu finds out on his own

- I can’t tell if wayu has a suspicion about phai, like he def senses there’s another person but I can’t tell if he knows it’s phai

- okay but thanuwayu are so cute and sweet together

- pls let my babies kiss, i couldn’t appreciate their first kiss bc i didn’t ship them then and wayu thought it was pha so pls let them have a do over

- you know what, i like thanuwayu having visions like thanuphai. I can’t quite tell if that was the writers’ intention, but i hope it is bc that would imply that thanuphai aren’t actually soulmates and that what they see is just a potential future, like they could be happy together, but there are also other people who they can be happy with

- i’m not super crazy about this whole ‘let’s rewrite my memories of pha with memories of you’ bc that doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to move on from pha or to start a new relationship but whatever makes wayu happy i guess

- however i do like how it ties into the whole ‘no predetermined fate’ thing and shows how life is shaped by choices and chance

- pls let my babies kiss tho

- hey so i am not liking this preview of the next ep

- anyways, so i’m liking how their handling the thanuwayuphai thing so far, but it is going to be bad next ep as im assuming the envelope that has phai’s picture is probably phai returning the picture to cut ties but obvi wayu is going to find out about their relationship

- still not sure how i feel about poktong, its better than last ep which i did not like and def shows more potential, but i think we’re gonna have to wait and see, don’t like the direction they’re taking with sandee tho

- also whoops, this got really long but i have a lot of feelings about this show

- fingers crossed for actual markkit content next ep

[obxlife]

Hurting (John B x Reader)

A/N: Ayeee another John B fic! I feel like John B is the hardest character to write about for me and I just don’t know why lol. Also, this was requested by my friend Maggie @anonymous0writer so I hope I did a good job with this. Oh, and go check her out! She’s amazing and really talented!

Pairing: John B x Reader

Word Count: 1,765

Request: I gotta give you a John B. Maybe an angsty one where his girlfriend realizes he’s dead (maybe without Sarah? or Sarah goes with him bc of her dad?) that or one where JB gets hurt and you have to take care of him and get super worried? Thank you! ily

Summary: John B is dead. And now you’re mad at yourself because of it. 

Warnings: Super angsty and a lot of guilt and self-loathing from the reader. Mentions of virginity loss and death.

I know this is short but I really am bad at writing angst :(

HURTING

You thought you had known pain. You really did. All those times your parents would express how disappointed in you they were, or all those times where you had just fucked things up and felt guilty.

They didn’t compare to this. They really didn’t.

You couldn’t feel the cold, humid grass that surrounded your knees and legs, and you sure as hell couldn’t feel your burning tears. You could only feel pain, and your sobs and everything happening around you seemed to be muffled. Almost as if you were all alone.

You were certain that the rest of your friends were trying to comfort you. But you knew nothing would work. They were hurting almost as much as you, and none of you were in your right minds to even begin to comfort someone else. All they could do was share their pain as you shared yours.

JJ was the first to wrap his arms around you. This was mainly due to the fact that his father and your parents hadn’t shown up at the police tent. So while Pope and Kie hugged their parents and sobbed into their warm and comforting chests, you were stuck with the blond. Not that you really minded, as he was probably more warm and comforting than your parents could ever be. Besides, you were used to JJ’s presence, as you had been comforted by him before. 

Back then, your problems seemed to be the worst thing that had ever happened to you. The unreciprocated feelings you had for John B, JJ’s best friend, ripping you apart. All JJ could do was hug you and assure you that you would be fine. You would wrap your hands around the blond and tell him exactly how you felt and he would make sure you were okay again. And you were when John B finally got his head out of the gutter and realized he had feelings for you as well. 

Those problems and that pain were nothing compared to what you were feeling right now. They were stupid and silly and dumb and childish and nothing. Now you knew what true pain felt like. It was blinding in a way that made you not even realize what was going on. Your friends were now all around you, hugging you, but you couldn’t even feel them. It was enraging in a way that made you feel anger towards the people around you and those who were guilty. Deputy Shoupe. Ward Cameron. His son, Rafe. Everyone. Even JJ, Kiara, and Pope. 

The days before had been an absolute nightmare. John B had been blamed for a murder he didn’t even commit and he was on the run. And worst of all, he was on the run without you. And in your place was Sarah Cameron.

You wanted to hate her. You really, truly, deeply did. But you couldn’t. You knew the only reason she had followed after John B during his police chase was because she knew everything that had gone down at the runway. The only reason she had boarded onto the Phantom was because of her father. The only reason it hadn’t been you there with him was because he had begged you not to come with him.

The pain you felt was so enraging it made you hate yourself. Hate yourself for not getting on the Phantom and not following John B onto the runway and not going after him when he escaped from the car you were in with the rest of the Pogues. Your hate for yourself was actually guilt, just buried beneath the surface of what you portrayed to the outer world.

You didn’t realize how Kie and Pope had latched onto your arms and pulled you up while JJ kept himself behind you, preventing you from crumbling down again. Your tear-stained face was making everybody uncomfortable, never having seen you cry this way before, and your brusque movements were trying to push everyone away.

You didn’t have the strength for it anymore. You had kept everyone except John B at an arms-length during this whole treasure hunt, and now you just couldn’t take it. Your walls, much like yourself, tumbled to the ground and laid in ruins. 

Your friends moved you into a car that you recognized as Heyward’s old pickup truck. Your breath was shallow and coming out in rapid strokes, and JJ knew you were having a panic attack. He felt one rise in his own throat, but he pushed it down to help you. His strong arms wrapped around you, whispering into your ears about how to control your breathing and how to calm down.

His arms didn’t feel like home though. And they never would. Because they weren’t John B’s arms. They weren’t the arms of the boy you loved. Instead of smelling saltwater and orange-scented shampoo, you smelled freshly cut grass and a hint of weed. You tried to shake the blond boy off for a second time that night, but once again, your attempts were proved futile. You were completely drained of strength, of hope, of life.

You had managed to calm down when the car stopped, and Heyward opened the door for you and JJ to step out. You looked up at the old fishing shack. This place was a living memory of everything that happened. Everything you had gone through and everything you had ever said to each other was here, in the Chateau. The walls were filled with memories, the cracks between the tiles in the floor filled with laughter and cheap beer, and the leaky roof dripped happiness. Another sobbed raked your body as you tore your eyes away, not knowing if you would be physically able to enter the old house. 

JJ was speaking to Heyward, and after saying goodbye and wiping some tears away, JJ took you into his arms and led you inside. 

You both stood at the open doorway, tears streaming down your face as you saw all the good that was held inside the Chateau float out into the night air through the open door. Everything - the memories, the laughs, the cries, the good and the bad - passed right between you and JJ, and you tried to grasp onto it with all your might. However hard you tried, everything slipped through your fingers, and your shared look with JJ was enough to have the both of you breaking down.

Somehow you ended up in John B’s bed. One of his few shirts that wasn’t a Hawaiian button-up was adorning your body as you submerged yourself in the dirty sheets. When you inhaled you felt the salty smell with the hint of orange you wished you could be wrapped around permanently. Another sob broke out through your lips as you remembered everything that had happened on that very bed.

From sleepovers before you had developed feelings for each other to losing your virginity. From sharing your thoughts on growing old together to him tickling you until you would give in and kiss him. From your panic attacks to his. Everything in the room reminded you of your boyfriend. The one you loved with all of your being and soul. The one you would always think about before going to bed and right after waking up. The one that put you though hell sometimes but it was all worth it for. The one you would live and die for.

But how could you do all those things if he was gone? Gone and never return. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to push away these dark thoughts. You tried to remember all of the good things about him, about John B.

His hair reminded you of waterfalls because of how smoothly it was always in place. The color of his locks reminded you of the chocolate bars he would buy you every once in a while. The highlights between the brown tresses would remind you of the beach and surfing and having fun with the Pogues. His eyes were so green they brought life into the world, almost as if there was truly a whole forest contained inside of them. The shape of them, although not exactly symmetric, was entrancing, and pulled your thought towards what John B could possibly be hiding behind his orbs. His mouth was always chapped, and you almost laughed as you remembered how much you would insist on him wearing chapstick, but his kisses were so soft that you forgot about their dry state almost immediately. The curves of his lips reminded you of his smooth-talking, almost as if his words were born from the bends of their outlining. John B’s nose was straight and long, and you remembered how soft his skin would feel when you would trace your fingers down the bridge of it after spending nights together. His voice was silky and sweet, and the thought of it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. His words were romantic and breezy, his leisurely pace when speaking reminding you of lazy days spent on the hammock together. His body was crafted by gods, and you remember every dip and ridge of his muscles and bone structure. His laugh reminded you of crashing waves on the shoreline and discovering new things to do together. The jovial sound brought back memories of cliff jumping with the Pogues, inside jokes, and late-night, stary-skied bonfires. And finally, you thought of him. John B as a whole. And you thought of how his soul reminded you of a new born’s first laugh or blowing out dandelions or skipping through meadows and fields or surfing your first wave. 

John B had been everything good in your life, and you couldn’t bear to even think he had been ripped away from you. 

Through the fine walls of the Chateau, you could listen to JJ’s sobs. The noise was loud compared to your cries, but you had your mouth pressed against your lips as you tried to ignore what had happened. You brought your hands up to your temples and almost ripped your hair out at the thought of not having John B by your side anymore. It broke your heart and your soul in a way that you knew you never be able to recover from. 

But that was okay. You didn’t want to recover. John B had been everything - and he would continue to be so. 

As you drifted off to sleep that night, you imagined he was still with you. At least when you lied to yourself you could smile.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 2 Thoughts (4kids) Part 2

Since my thoughts are a bit scattered with this season and the post was getting long, I decided to separate them in two posts. You can find Part 1 here. This part picks up from 2x14:

- Ugh, pls no. Diaspro. Dammit.

- She’s making laws about fashion? What are this girl’s parents doing and why are they allowing this? She has them as confirmed later on in the episode so why is she making laws when she’s apparently not responsible enough to be given that power?

- Ooh, weather spells. Those look really good. I already said this but I am so happy that we get to see them have classes and learn new magic. It’s really cool and I am so totally here for it!

- Why isn’t Stella going with them?

- I can’t stand Sky’s parents. They are absolutely terrible. And the way Samara shouted at Bloom... jeez, rude! I know you’re a queen, but my god, have some fucking manners, will you? Sky turned out spectacularly considering these two are his parents. (So I might have a theory that he’s adopted.) Probably because they just left him to the servants to look after him which was most certainly his lucky day bc he was raised by good people. I am not even sorry for all this bitching. Erendor and Samara are the fucking worst and you can’t convince me otherwise.

- Also, to keep at this, he was about to introduce his girlfriend to them and they’re just there like “I hope he falls in love with Diaspro again”. Why are you such horrible people and parents?

- Seriously, Bloom? Why would he want to introduce you to his parents if he wanted Diaspro? Ugh, I can’t anymore with this.

- Oooh, nice! I see Bloom and Flora have learned some things in Griselda’s classes. And Brandon didn’t turn into shredded cheese so that was great too.

- Why the sudden change in Diaspro? I mean, not that I mind. She could be such an awesome character if they would just give her a proper arc and character development, and let it stick too. It was just weird. Might have been just Flora’s influence. I would love to believe that. And the fact that Diaspro isn’t heartless and actually listened when the Wrong Righters put things in perspective for her. Btw can we talk about how amazing her design is and how beautiful she is? (Also, Chatta don’t encourage her.)

- Even Sky admitted his parents are terrible. “They’re not usually that nice”? Boy, I feel so sorry for you, Sky.

2x15:

- Damn, I love how Musa defeated Stormy! And those were the runes Palladium taught them about. That’s awesome! I love!

- Wow. That was some makeover there with Stormy.

- Brandon is giving out kisses? And Stella agreed to that? Wow, okay. Stella is feeling very generous today. XD

- Poor Musa! It’s hard when parents are being like that. I get that he is still grieving but damn, that doesn’t mean he should make her cry. And threatening her to withdraw her from Alfea and her friends. That’s just cruel.

- Ahh, some clarity has finally been shed into the princess matter. So she’s unofficially a princess. Okay. I got it now.

- Aww, that dream seemed pretty bad. Poor baby. And that part about “everything in me is music” and her resolve to do what she loves... I’m fucking crying! *sobs* Why is it that Musa and Layla always get the rawest arcs?

- Wow, Codatorta is all black-tie? XD

- Seriously, how did Stella let her go out on stage with that outfit?

- Why do they always have to use their parents against them? I am so mad about this. But awwwwwwwww at the singing part! And look, Riven is hyping people up. And he met her dad. And her dad is okay with her singing. Awwww! (Just so you know, I am still crying.)

- You gotta love the animation mistakes, though. Faragonda started out next to Saladin, then she was a seat away, and then she moved over an entire row. Nice one! Why is no one looking for continuity?

- Aww, Stella and Layla hugging Musa. And then the song with Stella was cute!

2x16:

- I couldn’t find the 4kids version of 2x16 (meaning I couldn’t be bothered to look for it more extensively because it was late and, of course, I will watch the creepiest episode right before going to bed) so I watched the RAI dub and I won’t be going into any detail here. This is pretty much the one episode that has been sealed into my brain ever since I was little. I always loved it because it was so nicely creepy (though, I am not sure how exactly I handled it when I was a child (I’m not exactly big on horror if you haven’t grasped it already since the episode isn’t really that scary but I still find the part with the “three sisters” kinda scary with the way they talk and Winx being cornered by them)). I liked the way the legend was built and that with the mirrors cracking was actually kinda cool. Also, I love the moment everyone starts fawning over Winx’s “costumes” and Mitzi can’t get any attention. And yeah, good lesson that the way you read the signs may not be true to what they’re actually pointing to.

2x17:

- (I already talked quite a bit for 2x17 and 2x18 last year when I rewatched them so I will not go into that much detail about them either... Or will I?)

- And even despite that, I absolutely can’t not mention that scene with Griffin and Faragonda in the beginning of 2x17 bc it is so goddamn dramatic and extra and Griffin just teleported to Alfea to make a 20-second scene (I counted them because, yes, I am that obsessed with this scene) and then disappeared again. I love!

- Lol, Ediltrude and Zarathustra, I can’t. They are so obviously sisters. I don’t get it, though. If Cloud Tower doesn’t take well to intruders, why did it let the Trix take over it and was kinda helping them even before they started sending energy in its veins? Is it because they’re witches and studied there so it doesn’t consider them intruders? Also, I love how the thing about Cloud Tower being a living organism has never come up before nor did it ever again.

- Aww, poor Mirta. But hey, she and Lucy finally fixed that friendship. That was actually kinda cute. I liked it. Lucy didn’t have to be such a bitch even if she was feeling betrayed but I actually get it so... All is well when it ends well, right?

- Stormy really doesn’t know how to manage her emotions, does she? Someone get her some therapy, please. She’s going to explode if she keeps bottling everything up.

- Aww, poor Lucy. The way Stormy blasted her. I feel really bad for her. And she was so scared (rightfully so). Somebody help her. (and get her therapy too)

- I am not really a fan of the catfight spell idea. I think they could’ve just let Winx disagree simply because they disagreed. They are friends but they can have different opinions. They don’t have to be under a spell to have a reason to argue.

- Oh, so Griffin can sense there’s someone at her door but she can’t fucking tell when some other shit is happening at her school. Makes total sense.

- Poor Lucy, though. She was so scared.

- What the heck was Stella doing anyway? She was just sitting around without doing shit. Was that the genius plan, hon?

- Okay, why did Bloom decide she could handle the Trix on her own when all of Winx couldn’t really beat them together?

- Yeah, Griffin can put a spell that the Trix can’t get through around the Heart of Cloud Tower but she can’t send her own energy into its veins to make Cloud Tower itself kick them out. Makes perfect sense.

- Layla and Musa actually teaming up with the witches was really cool. And they would’ve won too if the Trix didn’t get the statues to fight for them. (I actually liked the witch lounge btw.)

- Seriously, look at the Trix’s powers. How do Winx keep getting away from them? Darcy can legit blind people with that optical darkness spell. How have they not won with ease yet? But yeah, why destroy her immediately when we can wait for her friends to show up and save her? Sounds good.

2x18:

- “Is that Miss Griffin?” Can’t you see? Of course, it is.

- I gotta say that at least she was smart enough not to put the Codex with the Heart. Because as we saw, that was way too easy to figure out

.- “Forget about them” Yeah, so they can try and kill you. Nice one, Flora!

- Why is Stella so bitchy in these episodes? What is the problem, Stella? Why can’t you just chill? Aaaand... Now they’re trapped. Great!

- Can we talk about the fact that Griffin’s plan saved all their lives? So yeah, “wicked”. Right. Never mind they would’ve died otherwise. Although, why the hell didn’t she take the other teachers with her? Surely that would’ve made getting control of the tower back easier. Why doesn’t anyone do anything smart dammit?

- So Darcy can make herself look like Griffin but she can’t make herself sound like Griffin? Is that it? That’s what I’m getting from this scene because she didn’t try to talk to Lucy and Mirta.

- “We’re in the classroom that belongs to that weird witch teacher.” Which one? I think they all fall under that category so you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.

.- Poor witches. Getting eaten by their own school. I hope Griffin will get them some therapy after that.

- Oh yeah, now the Trix are stronger. Even though they were losing against Layla and Musa in the previous episode.

- How will going back to their dorm rooms help when the entire tower is going insane? This doesn’t make any sense.

- Oh, look! Just a simple deduction was all it took to figure out the location of the Codex. Easy peasy, right?

- Yeah, let’s do convergence when we don’t fucking know what we’re trying to do. Nice one, you guys! Also, poor Discorda. But why does Cloud Tower have a pixie? This is so weird. Though, kinda good I guess since they’d been trying to make out the witches all evil and having a pixie there is a step in the right direction.

2x19:

- Yeah, just keep blasting without focusing your energy. ‘Cause that’s totally effective. Also, ugh, why Avalon again?

- Aww, Bloom saw Marion and Oritel. And of course she doesn’t remember the dark force in her dream. It would’ve been so easy.

- Why the hell would Bloom listen to Locket, you know? (I mean, she had a point about Locket trying to look into people’s hearts but still.)

- Poor Timmy. He doesn’t know what to do and now that. At least he’s not mad at Bloom. (In all fairness, it wasn’t her fault.)

- And that makeover didn’t do much good. But of course not, when Avalon lied to them about what they should do.

- Bloom, I know you’re not yourself, but for the love of everything sacred, stop destroying the books! This is hurting me!

- Damn, she got shrunk. And is still causing trouble.

- Oh, that chase in the pages of the book was actually kinda cool.

- I think Winx should have just put their everything into stopping her earlier. i know they didn’t want to fight her but it was obvious they wouldn’t be able to get through to her and that she was spelled big time.

- That with the pixie kiss was kinda weird but cute. And yeah, sure, Bloom is grateful to Locket for sticking with her but still won’t listen to her about Avalon. Will it kill you to be a little more mindful of the man?

2x20:

- Okay, that vacation idea was so random. Although it looks like it was necessary. They just didn’t stop fighting.

- Yeah, sure the boys can’t socialize. Who is even watching to make sure that they won’t? Please.

- Ugh, Avalon, the absolute bitch. Of course he’s pretending to be poisoned.

- Aww, that Riven and Sky friendship moment was really cute. And Sky lying to him about Musa but then hitting the actual tree Riven was warning him about. XD And Layla beat them both, lol.

- Palladium blushing like that at Avalon. Hmm... I wonder what he needed that love potion for. I hope he knows that that isn’t exactly ethical.

- Okay, so how the hell did they have time to sew their suits together? That just doesn’t make sense but okay. At least they stopped fighting.

- And of course, why the hell would anyone tell them that such a thing as Charmix exists? That is totally not relevant. Not to mention that they should’ve gotten it earlier. Bloom should have gotten hers back in season 1 when she learned who she was and accepted it and Musa should have gotten her at the concert in Red Fountain. But of course, that only appears now. I mean, makes total sense.

2x21:

- Yeah, it’s a realm free of magic but because your Gloomix multiplies your magic, you’ll still have some. That’s just... not how it works. If it’s a realm free of magic, there shouldn’t be any magic. Otherwise, it simply is a realm that consumes your powers but if you can find a way to keep them above a certain level, you can still have them.

- Okay, but if I was Layla, I would feel bad about Stella feeling bad but I wouldn’t blame myself. She couldn’t have known. It’s not that she’s bad at friendship. But hey, at least Stella told her how she feels and she got her Charmix.

- Okay, yeah, Darcy has the power of mindcontrol but they still haven’t won. Yeah, makes perfect sense.

- Aww, it was sweet of Brandon to talk to Musa about Riven. And she told him how she felt and got her own Charmix. That was cute.

- “My lips kinda hurt.” Smooth one, Brandon.

- And they’re at the edge of a cliff now. Damn what a (literal) cliffhanger of an ending.

- Oh, no. Poor Layla just fell off the cliff like that. And now she can’t climb back.

2x22:

- Well, at least the Charmix reloads itself quickly. Even if it also gets exhausted quickly.

- Aww, Layla also got her Charmix. That was actually a very heartfelt moment. It almost made me cry.

- And Tecna finally admitted her feelings for Timmy. Now if only Flora can do the same with Helia.

2x23:

- Aww, the pixies are sick. Poor babies.

- Real Avalon at last. Fucking finally. Also, that spell was super freaky but it’s got me thinking about what you’d have to do to perform it... And now I’m getting ideas here.

- Oh, they’re getting special training for the Charmix now? Never mind that they weren’t even told that thing existed. Makes so much sense. (I don’t know why I’m surprised anymore.)

- I know Faragonda was trying to encourage Flora but it felt more like she was scolding her and was being disappointed by her tbh.

- Awww, Griselda said she’s proud of Flora! That is so cute! Also, I love how even Griselda can see that Helia is so into Flora but Flora herself can’t.

- Oh, pixies are born from the flower of life? That’s... kind of weird but okay.

- Flora finally told him! Great! I can’t help it at the moment when she yelled after him and then was like “Opps, he heard me. What do I do now?” XD And she also got her Charmix. That’s gotta be one of the best days for her.

- You mean Faragonda never asked to see the letter she sent to Avalon even though she is well aware Darkar is out there and is doing literally everything to get his hands on the Codex? My god, what epic dumbassery, I can’t. Seriously, they could’ve just handed him the Codex, it wouldn’t have been much worse than what they’re doing now.

- What does he want? Gee, I don’t know. The Trix were after Bloom and Avalon’s been preying on Bloom since the very beginning (and they even figured out he was the one who turned her evil) but what the hell could he want? Beats the hell out of me. At least Tecna finally put it together. And, of course, it is too late.

- Poor Stella, running around with that glass of water like that.

2x24:

- Aww, the pixies want to go too. That’s... probably not the best idea but it’s not like they can do anything about it.

- Poor Brandon! I think Sky would be scared, too, if he’d been through what happened to Brandon. (Not that he wasn’t already. XD)

- Tecna a few episodes ago: “Just because I come from a technology-based realm doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions.” Tecna in this ep: “Consider me your new computer.” Amazing.

- Aww, that dragon was kinda cool. Too bad it tried to kill them.

- Oh, look! Flora’s got this! Nice! And we saw her Charmix.

- Brandon probably shouldn’t have said that about Sponses (did I even get his name right?) But they were in luck there with Sky’s attack taking out both Amentia and the guard.

- Okay, Stella’s plan wasn’t completely solid but they still pulled off that emergency take-off so... that’s okay.

- And Bloom is dark now. He just literally sent darkness into her heart, wtf.

2x25:

- Oh, damn! The Trix really upgraded these monsters. But now they’re drained, I kinda feel bad for them. I know they’re evil but dammit, they worked for their rewards and they aren’t going to get anything because Darkar is like that. Why is he so obsessed with Bloom? This is getting creepy again.

- Awww, Riven is being so supportive and such a team player! I love this! Can we let this fucking stick goddammit?!

- Oh, damn! Helia absolutely pulled off that rescue! Nice!

- Awwwwww, Griselda being there like “Our kids” is literally the most adorable thing ever! I love. And thank fucking god Faragonda finally decided to go help. It was about damn time. (Especially considering the stupidity with Avalon. (I am still not over that.))

- Hey, the convergence is working this time! Cool!

- Aww, Saladin can’t go with them bc of health issues. :/ (Though, pretty convenient that they had to take Codatorta considering what happened later on.)

- That goodbye was so cute! Brandon with that cheesy line! XD And Helia and Flora’s first kiss! But hey, what do you mean Tecna and Timmy don’t get a kiss? I know they already kissed once but give them a proper goodbye at least. And I am absolutely ready to cry over Riven and Musa!!!! He finally admitted his feelings! And that hug! I also liked the Layla and Sky moment, however short it was.

- Damn, Kerborg is... That thing. I liked him more as a... bat (thingy?). And they are in trouble but at least the teachers showed up on time this time. (kind of)

2x26:

- Yeah, “completely under control”, sure.

- “The ultimate power couple”? Um... Ew?!

- And they’re splitting up. But eh, it all works out so... good for them.

- I gotta admit I am not a fan of that thing with the colors that Stella did. It felt like she couldn’t be useful for anything else so they just shoved that in there. Nice one, you guys. Also, what do you mean that they don’t have straight As? After the shit they go through, how can anyone write them any mark different than A tbh? I mean, they saved the universe. What more do you want from them?

- The boys are catching up with them, too. Nice.

- “His confidence is bigger than his abilities,” Well, yeah, you’re not wrong there. XD Also, aww, damn! :/ They just killed Kerborg. So sad! (Alexa play Despacito.)

- Oh, damn! That Trix convergence is... creepy. But kinda cool. I like it.

- Riven sacrificed himself for Musa! (Could’ve just pushed her out of the way but anyway.)

- And Sky dropped the L word. And it had the desired effect. His speech was actually rather cute. I liked that part about him feeling the goodness of her heart when she healed him back in Red Fountain.

- Griffin and Faragonda’s shield is holding up well. Their convergence is also super powerful.

- Speaking of convergence, that was some amazing sync between Winx. And they wiped him off the face of the universe. I love how nobody is talking about the fact that they just killed a guy. Granted a very possessed guy, but still.

- Aww, Faragonda and Griffin toasting together was so cute. “Griffy”. I can’t. XD Same for Codatorta and Knut arm wrestling.

- I am so happy for Layla and that she finally has friends. Also, look at her being all matchmaker with Riven and Musa. Aww, and Piff said her first word!

- Tecna and Timmy and Helia and Flora were so cute! And of course we can’t forget about Stella and Brandon who are the king and queen of cheesy romance. XD (I love them! They are so made for each other.)

- Aww, Bloom gave Kiko little wings! That was so adorable. Also, good to see him again. And I do believe that was her first kiss with Sky (honestly, I don’t pay much attention to them). But they just had to hijack the photo like that.

This season was definitely better than I expected. Did it have a shitton of stuff that didn’t make sense? Well, yes. But was it engaging? Mostly. I would’ve loved it more if Avalon and Darker weren’t pissing me off so much but there was some solid action and heartfelt moments. Also, Layla is really cool and I’m glad they decided to include her and that she found her place in the group. I don’t really love the Charmix as much as I used to when I was little but damn if the Gloomix doesn’t still rock hard! And you gotta love the actual classes we got to see! So I actually liked this quite a lot.

[lookwhatilost]

i finished my second watch of bojack s6 p1 and here’s a predictably massive post of some thoughts/observations abt it

spoilers under the cut obviously

the “fuck” of the season definitely came in a moment that i didn’t expect, but i rly liked how it was used. like, it was a callback to when gina dropped it in the last season –– something that traumatized her vs a reaction to her PTSD symptoms. a lot of people seem unhappy w it but i think it’s more powerful than people are giving it credit for being

the gatsby reference in e3 rly brought to mind that there are, like, a lot of gatsby tie-ins w this show and i never rly pasted them together mentally bc of the ubiquity of the “rich guy is utterly depressed and alone” trope. like, the imagery related to the pool, the shallow parties, the yellow car, the spacious but empty house, the billboards staring him down as he drives when he’s hallucinating in s5. charlotte/daisy being a weak parallel in that he had feelings for her when they were younger, held onto them for years, only for her to be married when they reconnect, but it’s worth mentioning that the glow stick balloons were green.

someone on reddit pointed out that jameson’s baby in e1 had physical traits associated w fetal alcohol syndrome. like, short, upturned nose, eyes that are far apart, and low ears. it’s hard to say if it’s intentional, but he’s drawn w a lot more detail than a lot of the other babies i’ve seen in the show. if it’s purposeful, like, that’s amazing attention to detail

i liked how the season opened on a planetarium flashback, because honestly, the immediate aftermath of sarah lynn’s death is definitely kind of glossed over in s3 when it initially happens. and though i suppose the added information isn’t terribly surprising (like him lying abt the events that lead up to her overdose and minimizing his own role in it as much as possible), it did make me wonder why i hadn’t thought abt it before

bojack rly does show signs of serious growth in the 6th season and it’s cool to finally see him move forward w/o simultaneously backsliding in other ways. a lot of his good actions in previous seasons were only rly things that benefitted him. and there are a lot of examples of it, but i think the one that stuck out to me the most was w his therapist. when he fell off the wagon, it’d have been rly easy for bojack to look the other direction and walk away like we’ve seen him do before. realistically, he has no real incentive to care for doctor champ’s wellbeing if he’s no longer staying at pastiches, but he checks him into rehab anyway, and when doctor champ throws his insecurities in his face to be hurtful, he immediately identifies it for the petty jab it is instead of letting it fuel his negative thoughts and using it as an excuse to dive into self-destructive behavior. honestly e6 was the emotional high water mark of part 1, even though it wasn’t the kind of gut punch that the dramatic, narrative focused episodes of bojack tend to be

i’m glad that the writers finally /did/ something w todd that made him feel like an actual character instead of jst a device for the comedy part of the show. i used to watch this show w a friend and we always used to say that todd had very little depth given the amount of screen time he occupies and seeing them move away from that was refreshing. his struggle w jorge is very relatable as someone whose parents have always pushed me towards things i didn’t sincerely want based on their expectations and desires for me vs my actual opinions of what success and happiness would look like for myself. but, on the other side of the coin, there’s finally a little bit of confrontation of the fact that todd’s erratic behavior and shenanigans are very taxing things for people who care abt him to deal w. and todd is rly the only character who’s somehow defied the show’s formula in that he never faces accountability for the things he does. like, he’s enabled PB’s impulsivity many times and drove him to bankruptcy, care of PB Livin’, and it’s a detail in the show that’s never truly been acknowledged or talked abt at all. he fucked PC over when he wouldn’t follow through w his sham marriage to courtney, and it was met w a cheesy speech from her abt how he needs to follow his heart and do what he thinks is right. it always struck me as a weird oversight, and to finally see someone take him to task for how taxing his behavior can be was refreshing. his only other “depth” was the asexual stuff and honestly? that is stupid and does not actually count for anything

if it didnt warm your heart when PC named her daughter ruthie then you dnt have one. i wasn’t as invested in her narrative as i’d have liked to be, but its good when PC is happy and that’s what everyone wants

IM SO GLAD JUDAH IS BACK. also i still hope he and PC end up together (and maybe she has a viable pregnancy this time w him a la sex and the city charlotte but that’s a little too cornball sappy for this show). generally rly enjoyed how characters from previous seasons were incorporated this time around. but i dnt want them to bring back vincent adultman jst to spite everyone who’s always saying “bring back vincent adultman”

pickles is still my least favorite character even tho the surprise wedding episode was probably the one i found the funniest. realistically i wanna see things work out for PB but his relationship w her is obviously not the move for him, and she’s also the worst

i like diane and guy together, they have rly good chemistry but i also have a bad feeling abt where things are headed w them. he seems ambivalent abt how principled she is and the scene where his son comes to the party and he makes her leave when he could have jst introduced her as a party guest if it even needed to happen at all... there was jst something off abt it. like you can definitely see the cracks in the foundation already and it’s disappointing

the scene btwn PB and bojack where bojack says to him “but i understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt, not burden other people w it. you think you’re protecting them from your toxicity, you convince yourself that you’re being selfless, but it comes out in other ways and it infects everything” hit close to home bc it reminded me of someone i used to bond over this show w and like... whew

i rly love how the dominoes are being set up w the reporters (even tho their his girl friday shtick got old fast) bc the way things are culminating, the story getting out is liable to expose bojack for everything. if they approach penny and she talks to them abt what happened, she’s liable to tell them that bojack and sarah lynn went to ohio to find her in the time before sarah lynn overdosed, and the pictures that her classmates took of them could establish a time frame. he was in new mexico when he was supposed to be filming secretariat, and that knowledge could lead to them finding out that he’d been digitally replaced in the movie. when this information gets out, it’s very likely that gina will dogpile onto it w the truth abt what happened on the set of philbert, since trying to conceal her ptsd is actively hurting her acting career bc of the reputation she’s developing as a problem actress, and even though she dznt *want* to be “that girl that got choked by bojack horseman”, she won’t have a choice if she can’t get jobs otherwise. i guess there’s always a chance that penny and charlotte won’t talk to them, but now that hollyhock knows about what happened in new mexico, either way his personal life will be hurt by this. i’m not sure what’ll happen to him professionally, since there’s a recurring point the series has been making w famous people never being held fully culpable for their negative actions, and it’s a dicey thing for them to approach w a character that many viewers find sympathetic without ending on some myopic note abt cancel culture (whether intentionally or by popular interpretation) but im excited

i also hate how my obsessive watching and rewatching of this show meant that the intended pete repeat reveal (like, you’re not supposed to recognize him until his identity becomes obvious through the prom night story) was sort of compromised for me bc i recognized his voice and the second he introduced himself, i placed him IMMEDIATELY but it was still such a great scene. it’s the most tense i remember feeling when watching and an all around great cliffhanger

the final line of e7 comes off as some rly grim foreshadowing–– “it looks like you found solace in our show. stay if you’d like. in 30 minutes, we start over”. but it’s such an incredible line in context. my god, i fucking love this show, you guys

[disasterjones]

Jarrett. Give us the tea my dude

Jarett: Describe your worst boss or teacher you've ever had.

my time has come,, 

this is obscenely long, apologies

okay so I used to work at a credit union (it’s basically a bank but they push this concept of “community” and “we’re not like the banks” except that they are, do not be tempted by their honeycomb claims, they’re as fragile as they are sweet) and I worked in the quality assurance department

we were tasked with everything from balance inquiries to opening accounts to being the equivalent of loan servicers (without the capacity to actually craft the loan agreement for underwriting, because then what would the loan officers do)

my boss, we’ll call him Bob, had two assistant managers, we’ll call them Jenny and August, who were probably the pacific northwest equivalent of Stepford Wives, with Bob being the superficially-agreeable gentleman that welcomes the unaware into the compound for assimilation

so anyway I joined this job through a temp-to-hire position and it was great for the first six months or so (as it turns out, even jobs have honeymoon periods), I made friends with coworkers, I established a presence and something of a reputation for being the friendly-and-decently-quick-learner, which I would later find out was to my detriment, because they took the “quick learner” concept and thought that translated perfectly to “teacher,” and about a year in they gave me a temp to train

the temp was never a problem, although she did sometimes like to be on her phone when we were in the middle of a call, but I’m just an employee that’s giving pointers, I’m not a boss nor am I her mother, so I don’t bother to give her too much hassle about it. she still manages to keep decent call times for a newbie and is able to navigate our systems after a little bit of repetition

this was the beginning of my issues with Bob, as he wanted me to be more strict and adhere as closely his own inflexible schedule as possible. problem is I can’t force a person to learn faster, nor had I asked for the responsibility of training someone in the first place. why hadn’t they asked someone with more experience? sure I’d learned the ins and outs of the programs okay, but i hadn’t developed the tools to quickly de-escalate angry callers yet, hadn’t even been given access to several systems I was expected to use to train this temp, but being behind was my fault no matter what I said

I’d already been dealing with some subtle snideness and condescension from Jenny and August on top of that, and it took me ages to realize it’s because I was the only person that didn’t engage in makeup culture (partially bc I can’t afford that shit lol) and that was literally the reason why: I wasn’t “put together” or “company ready,” even though I never personally interacted with members or anyone on site beyond people in my immediate department

so a year and a half of this, of subtle underhanded remarks and difficult demands, of having constant rising expectations and quotas, told at every turn that our goal is to have as many new members as possible, all the while a broken record of lie, just repeating constantly that “sales don’t matter, it’s about the community” 

(EXCEPT GET ALL THE ACCOUNTS DON'T LET THEM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FAILURE YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM 3 ACCOUNTS YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A GOOD RATE ON THE NEW CREDIT CARD IF THEY JUST SIGNED UP BUT REMEMBER WE DON’T WANT TO SELL THEM ANYTHING)

finally it’s Christmas time and I’ve been busting my hump for the whole year and it’s my second year so I’m eligible for a bonus and I’m literally gonna burst I’m so happy... until Bob and Co. announce that, despite all our stellar efforts this year, despite that we are ahead of company projections by a 15% margin across all departments, despite that I personally (and by proxy our department) was responsible for the acquisition of an account worth over 1.3 million, we were told our Christmas bonuses were actually going to be a bit sparser than they were the year prior, my first year, the year I got a $75 Fred Meyer gift card in

I had been looking forward to a cash bonus and had worked my ass off for it, had been damn near guaranteed it during a number of team/personal reviews with the managers, but surprise! three days before christmas, all I have to look forward to is $50 to a place that I can reasonably get a single pair of shoes from (and maybe some socks)

it’s a month or so later that the Big Change happens, and the entire building of employees moves across town to a new location. some people get let go in the shuffle, including one of my close friends I’d met there. financially stressed though she was, I could see how much happier she was to be out of that place, and I started to get inklings of leaving as my mental health began to deteriorate. another result of this change is that the parking availability for employees is cut down to a third of what we used to have, except it’s even less because most of the spots at the new building are intended for members, so everybody’s carpooling or riding bikes or bussing

side note: carpooling is all well and good in a green initiative, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate more than two people for a carpool? either you can make us carpool or you can have us in on time, you can’t have both

a bit of advice for anybody new to the job circuit or who might have trouble deciphering “appropriate” social gestures: no matter how open they say you can be, no matter how friendly or amenable they appear to be to mental health struggles, don’t fall for that trap and think you can show any moment of weakness. it’s true that not everyone will react the way my managers did, but don’t take the chance if you can help it. on the surface, they understood. on the surface they said they were with me.

i would go on to walk in on those same people mocking my symptoms and talking about how it can’t be that bad, that I must be trying to get attention.I was labeled unprofessional, and no matter how much they encouraged open communication and preached how “life happens and things get rough for people,” I was still an acceptable target. 

so I took my complaint to HR, who at first seemed taken aback at the notion that, of anybody, BOB could be engaging in such careless and callous behavior. “Oh, he’s such a nice man! I’m sure he didn’t mean those things.” and because he wasn’t the one saying them, but rather laughing along with them, and because it was my word against theirs, it was unlikely to go anywhere

time crawls on and it’s about march or so when everything finally snaps in my brain. getting out of bed feels like selling my soul and going to work feels more like torture than a paycheck. on The Dawn Of The Day That Broke My Back, I was up and ready, out in front of my apartment and chain smoking to keep myself awake, when I realized that no matter when my carpool shows up now, we’re going to be late

I try to keep myself in decent spirits, not be a grumposaurus on the way in. I feel prepared for the day, got my coffee and my lunch in a bag and a nice outfit and I feel like maybe today won’t be as bad as the rest of the month has been, even though we’ll be late

we arrive about 10 after, but I’ve got Jenny and August’s numbers in my phone, so I’ve sent them messages ahead of time to let them know that the carpool was a bit late because traffic has been troublesome. I don’t remember how true it was, but the point is I did my part to let them know ahead of time that we weren’t no-shows, just a bit delayed. as I’m walking in (mind you, following and followed by a number of other individuals just as late as me), Bob singles me out, pointing first at me and then another aggressive point in the direction of a closed office space 

fun fact: with the new change in locations, he no longer has his own office, in fact he now sits directly adjacent to me and close enough to hear me speak under my breath, something I had to be constantly aware of

he ignores the confusion on my face as soon as we’re inside and immediately begins to accuse me of slacking off, saying I’ve been skipping out on and coming late into work constantly, and I need to “get it together” or I’ll be out of a job. I try to express that I’m not trying to shirk my responsibilities, just that I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and it’s affecting my focus. He doesn’t care, his frustration continuing to escalate, and every time I offer a response or rebuttal to an unfair statement, he gets angrier and changes what he’s upset about.

Finally it happens. 

“You were late! 10 minutes late! You need to be in your chair at your desk and ready to sign in and be ready to take calls BY 8:00!!” 

I have grown tired of him yelling for no reason, and the backbone that had crumbled away over the last two and a half years suddenly snaps back into place hard as steel. 

“I would like to know why this is all aimed at me specifically, when you saw me enter with the remainder of my carpool, the carpool that you all made us set up in the middle of construction season, which of course is happening on the only road that leads here. 

“I would like to know how I’m supposed to control the environment or lives of the other people I am stuck riding with every day for this job that supposedly cares about us, even though it doesn’t seem to care about the extra expenses or time  crunch we now have to endure as a result of this change that miraculously doesn’t affect you. 

“I would like to know who put that stick so far up your ass that you thought it was necessary to yell at your employee about 10 damn minutes. If you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.”

And I go and sit at my desk. He fumes quietly in the office for a while before coming out to his desk, returning to whatever he was doing before he pulled me aside to treat me like a child.

Not a few hours later, I get a call from a member that had been working directly with Bob (big ordeal that needed a manager a few days prior, so he was the go-to for this particular account), and they wanted to speak with him, claiming it was urgent. I hold the call and stand up, trying to get Bob’s attention quietly since there’s other calls happening around me. I call his name quietly, saying “phone for you, it’s [member’s name]” but he doesn’t seem to hear me because he doesn’t respond. So again, I whisper his name, this time leaning more towards him to hopefully catch his eye with the movement, but he cuts me off before I can get the member’s name out

He starts yelling. Like, at the top of his voice, yelling. In a small room, to a person less than 5 feet away, audible to everyone both on a call and not (I would later find out it was also audible over the phone! a member asked what the yelling was about. but I’m the unprofessional one)

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY? WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO BOTHER ME WITH CAN WAIT. GET BACK TO WORK.”

The resolve I’d summoned earlier didn’t stay with me, and this was the final straw. It’s one thing to be berated to and humiliated one on one, it’s another to be on the receiving end of it in the presence of 20 other people. I get back on the phone and tell the member, “I’m very sorry, he’ll have to return your call. He’s unavailable at the present.” and hung up, because I was about to cry and I needed to get out. I log out of everything, lock my computer, pick up my belongings and wave to one of my carpoolmates as I walk out and down to HR

they wound up convincing me to stay for a few more weeks, especially after they fired Bob (who it would turn out was going through a divorce, his second in four years, and I just happened to be the punching bag he needed that day), but eventually I left and never went back

[ Critical Role Ask Meme ]

[gcbrielst]

a XAVIER SERRANO lookalike just rolled into new york city in his porsche gts. gabriel trevino just had a birthday bash for his twenty third. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be choleric, but on the other hand he is jovial. ( cismale & he/him )

wow hi ,,, it’s me, aj ! this intro is gonna be better than the first bc that was so bad but hey to the old/new members !! i’m looking forward to interacting with y’all ( again, if u’ve met my annoying ass before ) that i could just explode rn but i won’t fjgskl;j but yeah you can find out more about gabriel down under :’) & if u wanna plot give this a lil like & i’ll come thru the dm’s !

TW: death & drug use

GABRIEL’S BACKSTORY

anthony trevino & sofia costa originally met in madrid, spain having met as children through their families. the trevino family was well-known for owning several vineyards across spain, whereas the costa’s owned a few of their own in italy. it’s a cliche story, becoming best friends throughout their childhood and, eventually, started to date when they were 15. things were easy for them ( most of the time ), & it helped that both sides of the family supported & encouraged everything they decided to do together. not to mention that, well, the money they received from their parents helped, too. by the time high school graduation flew by for them, both the trevino’s & the costa’s decided to have their children be part of the businesses and named them official owners of all the vineyards. with this came plenty of traveling, meetings, events, wine exhibitions, etc. together until, eventually, they got married in their early 20s. you know the feeling of being on top of the world? that’s them to a T for several years after, even after knowing each other since they were little ones. however, it wasn’t until they reached the age of 26 when they finally felt as if things were truly complete: they gave birth to a little baby boy aka gabe!

from there, they tried their best to make sure their son grew up perfectly. never pressured him about opening up, always made sure he wasn’t feeling neglected, other things similar to that. it’s what made gabriel so dependent and close with his parents for so many years. the kind of love he’s witnessed from his parents was, & still is, something that he wants for himself. they’re the sole reason why he’s such a little romantic at heart despite coming off as the opposite to everyone. his best memories with them is flying out back to spain or italy, visiting his uncles, aunts, grandparents, & so on while checking up on the vineyards. back in the day, the trevino trio were inseparable. that is ... until he turned 13. one night in april 2007, gabe was staying over a family friend’s home while his parents went to a formal event. things were fine, everything seemingly normal --- until they received an unexpected call from a local hospital. unfortunately, it turns out that anthony & sofia were hit by a drunk driver on their way to pick their son up. sofia died on impact while her husband sadly passed in the ambulance. the news was heartbreaking, so much so that when gabriel heard of their deaths he spent the remainder of the night ( & the following week ) locked in the guest room of the house crying & blaming himself for what happened despite the fact that he couldn’t control the events that occurred. 

of course, their deaths would have a detrimental effect on their son. the family friends that were with him that night ( michael & caroline maher ) soon adopted gabe into their family, despite the sudden closed-off & destructive personality change as a result from the accident. he wasn’t taking things as seriously as before, which left him getting into the wrong crowd. by the time he was 16, he began getting into hardcore drugs ( e.g. coke ) because of the terrible influences of his so-called “friends” at the time and overall became a toxic person to be around. it was so bad, in fact, that he developed a hefty addiction. this went on for about a bit over a year or so with no one really recognizing this ( thanks to his ability to hide behind a facade so well ). it wasn’t until two years later, though, when gabriel just graduated from high school that he had been caught participating in these kind of activities by his adoptive parents; one day, while tidying his room, caroline found his stash inside his closet and immediately went hysterical. due to this, they forced gabe to go into rehab, not wanting to see the boy their best friends’ left in their care to disappear like his parents. he wasn’t overjoyed about this; in fact, he was in denial over the fact that he had a problem. though, seeing how distressed mike & caroline were over finding his coke had him feeling an immense amount of guilt. so, although reluctantly, he agreed. 

90 days later & fresh out of rehab, he’s feeling the best he’s felt in a long ass time!! he spends a few months with mike & caroline, wanting to apologize & thoroughly make up for his behavior over the years. he spent endless amounts of time trying to show just how grateful he was for the fact that they took him in & stayed by his side throughout everything. though, he wasn’t satisfied with just running his family’s vineyards; in fact, he always had strong feelings for music. so, impulsively, gabe started to take dj lessons. it was a lot of hard work & dedication on his part, but this was something he absolutely loved doing. besides, he always thought that dj’s were cool. he worked his ass off, practicing everyday to perfect his craft until, eventually, he started booking gigs. by the time he was 20, gabriel quickly became well-known in the music industry & moved out to new york as a way of trying to forget about the past in chicago & looking towards the future here. he moved mike & caroline out too bc he’s Soft for them!  since then, he’s been booking gigs all over new york and the world; not to mention he’s gaining more fans/recognition everyday. BUT FUN FACT: he’s actually juST started to do drugs again on the down low so :~) :~) 

GABRIEL’S PERSONALITY

because he’s doing what he loves, gabe normally has a pretty easygoing & friendly vibe to him. sometimes he has his moments of being in limbo, so to speak, but most of the time he’s approachable & loves a good conversation. he’s also a Dumbass so like LMAO, 10/10 would say something & it wouldn’t make any sense or it would just leave people going, “wtf??” but he cares so much for his friends/family, he would actually jump into the center of the earth for them. not only that, but if he sees someone down he’d go out of his way to cheer them up no matter what it takes. 

however, he isn’t always such a nice guy. he has a short fuse & gets irritated easily, though he tries very hard not to express it, but it’s possible for him to blow up at someone every now & then. as previously stated, gabe is also capable of putting on a front around people, too. he hasn’t really relied on anyone outside of his family ( besides a few childhood friends/best friends ), so the idea of being open with people he doesn’t know all that well or is just an acquaintance with isn’t his cup of tea. so is he a liar? to an extent, but only to prevent himself from being let down. that being said, if someone tries asking what’s going on in that head of his or how he’s feeling about something--he’s just going to play it off with a shrug & pretend he’s chill with everything. ALSO because he started doing drugs again after four/five years of being sober, he has his little sad moments & he can come off as a bit pessimistic & dejected because he’s lowkey disappointed in himself okay cool.

i’m not trying to make this section long bc i already did that for his backstory so feajkhljkl that’s the shorthand version of it!

WANTED CONNECTIONS

bad influence, roommates, exes either good or bad terms, fwb, ex friends, rivals/enemies, enemies turned friends OR vice versa, bros, squad, sibling-like friendship, drug dealer, skinny love, first love, LITERALLY ANYTHING I’M A PLOT H*E OKAY THX FOR COMING TO MY LONG TED TALK

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Well, Assassin Nation Plot left me with mixed feelings.

On one hand, Peter’s finally doing something to move the plot along, something that’s been sorely lacking in his titles. I mean, really, except for this arc, Peter’s been more of a side character than a protagonist. Like, Nathan’s health problems, Kristy’s bulimia, Mary Jane’s career problems, Robbie’s conflict with Tombstone, Jonah being kidnapped and replaced by the Chameleon, Glory’s relationship with Eduardo, the gang war between the Lobo brothers and the Kingpin - Peter might be the thing that’s linking all of them and allows them to exist on the same book, but he’s sure as heck not in the middle of any of them, at least not out of anything other than responsability. (He might be meddling in the gang war, but he didn’t really change much - like, what, warning the Arranger when they would be attacked? Since they got past their defenses anyway, it didn’t do anything, except maybe giving the Kingpin time to escape, and that’s a big maybe, since he already didn’t trust the Arranger bc he thought he’d been keeping info from him, so he might have been gone for a while. Leading to Glory killing Eduardo? The Kingpin left bc he saw them fighting and figured they’d take care of each other, if Peter hadn’t been there, Fisk might have very well ended up fighting him instead, and we’re left at base one, except maybe Glory’s decision to shoot Eduardo’s oponent might not have been so frustrating if it had been a mob boss instead of a hero who had been advocating peace.) No, his arc has been about needing money to get a new place. So it’s a nice change of pace when he’s willingly involved with something, first to fix a mistake, then because of financial encouragement, you know, give it a personale stake. Also nice to see him having an impact when he fights - lately all of his battles have been futile, because his oponents get away, or they’re dealt with by someone else, or he sticks with the small fry while someone else gets the main course (this applies especially to his Annuals, except Web #5, and his involvement in Atlantis Attacks). In Assassin Nation Plot, he actually got Weil, who they thought would be their main lead to solving the problem, prevented the documents from getting blown up in an attempt to generate hostility towards Symkaria and got proof that the US hadn’t been the one to order the assassination of Symkaria’s king/queen-to-be/prime minister. While he couldn’t have done it without help, at the end of the day he was the hero of his own comic.

As I don’t read Captain America or whatever comic Solo appears in, I can’t comment much on them. They seemed to be there mostly as a token and, in Cap’s case, to move the theme of the arc. It was the same with Silver, she was there as a catalyst, mostly. Like, yeah, Cap was very patriotic, Solo was murderous, Silver... was patriotic as well,  all of them kicked ass, but I can’t for the life of me bring to mind something that makes me say “Aha! I understand this charactetr better now/ this is an important development” which, with the first two it’s okay, but Silver only appears on Spider-Man, so with her it’s frankly appalling. 

Also, I don’t know what was going on in the US back then, but the patriotism theme was kinda dumb. Literally the only worthwhile comment about that was that blind patriotism can be as bad as anarchism. (And since anarchism doesn’t necessarily include terrorism...) I mean, if I was Peter, this is how this conversation would have gone:

Silver: “Would you die for your country?”

Peter: “I risk my life everyday for everyone there, I do the same everytime I travel somewhere else, I literally did the same for you a few days ago when I wasn’t being paid, only because I understood the danger your country was in, what the heck makes it better if I do it for a flag than for the people living under it?”

Like, from Silver, I get it. She’s not a vigilante, she’s a mercenary for her country. While her actions themselves aren’t always heroic, the results (the pay she gets) are, because it goes to support Symkaria. That’s what her concept and target of heroism revolves around, providing well-being to her people. She’s actually denied a widow very needed compensation, so I’d actually say she struggles with one-on-one empathy or compassion. On the other hand, Peter tends to focus on the individuals rather than colectives. I mean, he has super-villains, and they’re an immediate threat to many, unlike a thief, but he still doesn’t look at the big picture of, like, the effects they have on anything other than the lives they’re endangering or might endanger if they’re let loose. So it’s weird that that remark left him uneasy. Like, “I’ve literally, knowingly and willingly left myself open to being shot, which I’d been trying to avoid, so I could save one (1) person, but would I do the same for thousands?”

And the Red Skull offered him money to let him go and his reason for not accepting was patriotism? As far as Peter knew, this was the guy who killed his parents. Even going at it rationally, money wouldn’t have been worth much with the US destroyed. And having spent multiple days working for Silver, getting a thousand for each, he wasn’t pressed, exactly. Of course, the money he already had would run out sooner than later, but he wasn’t desperate.

But beyond that! This is a guy who gave up every last cent he had to keep a woman he’d met once from being evicted. In the very first ASM issue, he says he won’t rob a bank because he’s not a criminal, and he’s just heard heard he and his Aunt are about to get evicted, just after Ben died, so he wasn’t only upset, none of them had any sort of income which would at least give him a reason to think they’ll be okay for a while. Heck, the one time he stole something, it wasn’t even all about need: the Beyonder had turned a whole building into gold and the government had ordered for it to be kept secret so that they could get rid of it and not flood the market. He was helping get some people out, because the gold was giving in under its own weight, and he’d been pondering about how a notepad that someone had thrown away to the trash bin could help him solve all of his and Aunt May’s problems, but he still wouldn’t take it, even though the government’s people had shot at him when he’d stayed to help. He only took it when he found out the Kingpin was being given all the typewriters, and he did it partly as a statement - he went and told the agent responsible that he was taking it because he was outraged at heir dealings with the Kingpin,  and then took, like, at least 30 issues to actually sell it, he considered giving it to charity, even though he really needed the money, because he felt so guilty. He went against his moral code to protest a corrupt power/piss off someone he didn’t like, you think he wouldn’t stick to them to stick it to Red Skull?

Why is his reason patriotism?

Also, it’s clear that patriotism was supposed to be the theme of the arc, so why didn’t they introduce the concept sooner than the 3rd out of six part?

[buckywintersoldierbarnes2017]

I Want You.

Request from @bellasett: Hello this idea just came to me I was wondering if u could do a Steve rogers where he just got unfrozen and his sex drive is up (bc it's like a side effect from the ice) and the reader has had a crush on captain America for like ever and they meet at stark tower and he ignores her and she thinks it's her but he just can't be alone with her without wanting to do the deed and maybe he's think of all the place he could have sex with her sorry this is really long if u don't do smut it's fine tho.

Note: I am soooooo sorry that it has taken me a while to get this written. Between my mind deciding to hate me and a whole lot of changes in my life everything has been a little too hectic for my muse to work. I hope this is what you were looking for! <3 I didn’t do too much smut though as my muse is very slowly coming back lol!

Steve x Reader

Words: 2,225

Warnings: Mild language and some minor smut. I haven’t gone into full detail with it and the majority is simply implied but figured I should warn you anyway....if I have missed anything please let me know :)

Disclaimer: GIF used is not mine so all credit goes to it’s creator. <3

You couldn’t believe it, not one bit. He was within arm’s reach of you, currently sleeping on the hospital bed in the room, his chest clearing rising up and then falling back down again at a steady pace….but still there was a part of you that was convinced you were going to wake up soon and be pulled back to reality.

Ever since you were a child you had grown up knowing his face, his name, and he was the very reason you now had the job that you did – working for Shield. He had made it his life mission to save others, never once expecting anything in return, and he had made the ultimate sacrifice in doing so. As far as you were concerned doing this job was your way of thanking him, something you never thought you would get to do in person.

Not only that but you were just like any other red blooded woman and you had developed quite the crush on him despite having never been in the same room as him until now.

A tired groan interrupted your thoughts and the rather perverted gaze you’d had on him as his eyes started to open.

“Captain Rogers?”

All hints of admiration faded from your face as a look of concern replaced it. This guy had been frozen for over 70 years, so he was going to have no idea where he was, who you were, or what year it even was. Agent Hill and Director Fury had both considered creating a façade to make him believe that he was still in his own time but you had quickly put the idea down; if you start with a lie how could you possibly expect him to ever trust you?

“Wh-Where am I?”

“You’re somewhere safe.” You sat yourself down onto the edge of his bed and although the temptation to take his hand was hard to resist you knew that it wouldn’t be the right course of action. He didn’t know you and when someone was both confused and scared they become unpredictable. “Now I know it is easier said than done but I need you to remain calm and just listen to me okay? You have been through quite the ordeal.”

As his eyes finally opened fully and his blue hues fell on you, confusion etched itself onto his face.

“What do you mean?”

Here it was, the moment you had been dreading, your next words were going to change his life forever and you couldn’t even begin to think how he would react.

“You’ve been asleep Captain…..for 70 years. Now I kn-“

You had started to rush into the reassuring part of your speech, noticing the glint of worry igniting in his eyes, and the reservations you’d had just moments before about placing your hand onto his flew out of the window completely as you encased one of his strong hands, but your words were cut short as he shot upright in the bed and his free hand gripped onto your arm hard.

Panic quickly built up inside of you but when you saw his cheeks beginning to glow a deep crimson colour confusion soon overrode it. He was…..blushing? Out of all the scenarios you had pictured in your head of how this conversation would go this was most certainly not one of them. Anger? Yes. Confusion? Absolutely! Maybe even a little sadness at the fact that everyone he had once known was either dead or dying. But what reason could there be for him to be embarrassed or nervous?

His eyes weren’t meeting your gaze at all, not even for a split second, and after a moment or two you finally followed his line of sight and immediately noticed the bulge that had formed underneath the sheets. Now it was your turn to feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“You need to leave.”

The tone of his voice had you pulling your eyes away from the rather unexpected sight of his arousal and in a rather flustered manner you left the room. Your heart was racing as you silently signalled for two other Shield agents to head in and speak with the Captain

Things only got even more weird after that day…

                                                * * * * * * * * * *

ONE YEAR LATER

Your job at Shield was becoming increasingly harder to achieve with each day that had passed since Captain Rogers had woken up. Every time he entered the same room as you his entire body stiffened, and his eyes frantically looked at anything but you…or he simply left the room before he had even finished stepping through the door.

The first few times this had happened you simply shrugged it off and put it down to the fact that he was nervous and unsure of all the new people are him but now, a whole year down the line, it was just getting stupid….and rather hurtful if you were perfectly honest with yourself.

“Did you ever find out what it was you did?”

It barely registered with you that someone had taken a seat on the sofa next to you, or that it was your closest friend, as you continued to watch for any other reactions from the Captain.

“Earth to [y/n]!” A hand waving itself in front of your face snapped you out of your little surveillance mission. “Starting to think you have seriously insulted Rogers you know. You’re the only one here he doesn’t speak to.”

“Tell me about it…” Your words showed your annoyance at the situation and rather reluctantly you pulled your gaze away from the blonde Avenger and placed it onto the redhead sat beside you instead. “Maybe he blames me. I was the first person he saw when he woke up after decades of being frozen…he might think that it was me who woke him up.”

You didn’t even bother to hide both the fear and the panic you felt at such a scenario being true and the volume of your voice rose enough to start gaining the attention of others currently in the room – except the one person who was causing this turmoil for you.

“Fury has already explained all that to him [y/n]. He knows full well that you were not responsible for that.”

Her words went through one ear and then straight out of the other as the sound of footsteps stole your attention. Surprise, surprise! Steve was yet again leaving the room with a rather flushed look on his face. Well he wasn’t going to get very far this time because you’d just about had enough now.

“Then maybe it is about damn time I get the truth out of him.”

“[y/n] wa-“

In athletic fashion you had jumped over the back of the sofa you had been sitting on, Nat’s hand only grazing your shoulder and failing miserably in her attempts to stop you from going after Steve.

“He is definitely about to get his arse handed to him.” She sighed in defeat.

                                              * * * * * * * * * *

“Steve!”

Your voice echoed through the corridor as the door to the shared living area closed behind you.

“Not now [y/n].”

Everyone else in the tower got the kind-hearted Steve Rogers, the one that would crack a joke whether it was funny or not, but you got nothing like that, quite the opposite in fact. His words were always cold and even on the days where you knew full well he wasn’t busy he would push you away as though he didn’t have the time to talk with you.

“NO!” That made him stop dead in his tracks. No one had ever heard you shout with such an anger but it still didn’t seem to be enough to make him turn and face you…something which only fuelled your anger even more. “You don’t get to walk away from me until you tell me what the fuck your problem is!”

“Language.”

“Seriously? You’re going to scold me for my cuss word while you have been ignoring me for going on a year now?!”

He must have been out of his mind. It was an apology you had been expecting from him, an explanation even, but a scolding? He had literally just rid you of any hint of patience you’d had, which was made apparent when you stormed towards him and took a rough hold of his arm. Up until now you had only ever seen his body tensing but now you were feeling it with your own hand and it made you feel worse than you had ever done so before….sick even.

How could someone hate you this much?

Everything that happened next did so at a speed which left your mind still trying to catch up after your back had hit the wall and an animalistic growl rolled from the Captain’s lips. Thanks to his enhanced speed he had managed to pin you to the wall of the corridor and now you were the one who wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“You should have just left it [y/n]. You have no idea how hard it is for me to be around you.”

“Why?! I haven’t done anything to you! It wasn’t me who decided on unfreezing you.”

The only response you received from him was a quiet laugh laced with a mischief that was completely foreign to you as one of his hands glided down the length of your arm.

“What the hell is so amusing Captain?”

“Oh just the little fact that all this time you have been thinking that I hate you my mind has gone in the complete opposite direction.”

His hand continued to make its way down your arm until it came to rest on your hip, the sharp blue hues of his eyes never once leaving you. Never had you been this close to him, not even when he had woken up a year ago, and it was only now that you noticed the flecks of green in his eyes….good god he was incredible…

“Ever since the day I woke up and saw you for the first time I haven’t been able to control myself.”

“Wh-What?”

Out of all the scenarios you had pictured in your mind as to how this conversation would go the words that he had just spoken hadn’t been in a single one….there was no way that Captain America, the poster boy of World War Two himself, would see you in that kind of way.

“Don’t believe me?” With a single raised eyebrow, the hand of his that wasn’t resting on your hip reached for one of yours and slowly moved it nearer to his body. “This is what you do to me. This is what I have been trying to stay away from.”

You didn’t need to ask him to clarify what he was talking about because the bulge in his trousers currently pressing up against your hand was more than enough for it all to click into place. Of course you were still rather annoyed at him for the way that he had handled it, for ignoring you all this time, but right now you couldn’t focus enough to devise a plan to punish him…..not when his arousal was growing even more underneath your touch.

“I don’t….I don’t understand..”

“Did they stop teaching sex education in schools while I was frozen or something?”

A playful smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he left your hand where it was, enjoying the sensation building up inside of him, and his lips started to lay gentle kisses onto the crook of your neck.

“No I didn-“

All your childhood you had fantasised about being in such a situation with Captain America, just as all the girls now did, but feeling his lips pressing up against your bare skin blew all of those thoughts you had conjured up right out of the window…..they paled in comparison to the reality. Biting down onto your bottom lip while you tried to compose yourself enough to continue speaking you refrained from letting a groan slip from you.

“I meant how….and why hide it?”

If he had noticed you reacting to him he didn’t mention anything, only pulling away from you after you had voiced your question.

“Because every time I saw you I could do nothing but picture you…and me…inside every room of this building. I hid it because I didn’t want you to think I was a sleaze ball. This is hardly the image of me that you grew up with [y/n].” Both of his hands rested themselves onto your hips as the pads of his thumbs traced light patterns onto the vest top you were wearing. “Even now…when I know you deserve better….I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“Who says I want you to keep them off me?”

Now it was his turn to look surprised but before a single word could escape his lips you were dragging him down the corridor; a task that wasn’t at all easy given his muscular frame but you didn’t care….you had fancied this man for the majority of your life and now you knew he’d thought of you in that way for a whole year you weren’t about to waste another minute.

                                        ~~~~~~~~~~

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[raeyvies]

Hi! If it's not a problem; I'd like to ask how would Saeran deal with MC who's kind of... similar to him, I mean: she's also so scared of being left, but, to the point of 'running away' when she feels like she's getting too close to someone, bc she's just anxious that she'll be left anyway... Also, if it's not a problem, how would Seven deal with someone like this? Hope it's not too weird... If it is, feel free to ignore me ^^; have a nice day!

Saeran dealing with an MC who is similar to him with her anxiety and wants to run away.

Turns out I wrote this as story form to show how Saeran would deal with this kind of MC. I absolutely loved writing this. I legit poured so much emotions into this and I hope you can feel them as you read this. When I gave this whole headcanon a reread, I got emotional honestly. I really hope you like this ^^ Honestly took me a bit of time to think of a plot for this and I’m not disappointed. Also I might do the Seven version of this but I have to think of a plot for it too. I apologize for any mistakes! .

Feel free to request headcanons! 

You were a recent college graduate when you met Saeran. You had started working at a botanical garden while you waited for responses to your job applications to various research companies. It was a suitable career for a person like you since it mostly involved independent work with the occasional interaction of a colleague.

Around a month into your new job, you found it was a relaxing escape as though you were in a world of your own. You tended to the plants every day and always paid more attention to the wilting ones. Unlike most people who would just replace the wilting flowers, you never abandoned them and tried to revive them.

Compensation is what you would call it.

Also by that time, Saeran became a regular visitor to the garden. Just like you, it was a place of serenity that helped with his own anxiety. He knew every employee there and had introduced himself to all of them except for one. You.

“Oh! I’ve never seen you around here before. You must be new here,” Saeran started. He noticed you had awkward mannerism that reminded him of himself but he also thought it was cute.

You were in your own world when you heard his voice and suddenly jumped, dropping a plant on the floor. Saeran immediately apologized for scaring you and helped you clean up the mess you made. Internally, you felt so guilty for having ruined a perfectly good flower and sighed. However, you refused to throw it away.

“You don’t have to apologize. I’ll just try to get this little one into another pot or something,” and that was the end of your interaction with Saeran for that day.

Saeran came back everyday just to watch you. Let’s be real, he was stalking you but in an innocent way. He noticed how caring you were for the plants, as though they were people. You even talked to the plants. Anyone would probably think you were maybe a little strange and socially inept just by watching the way you acted at work, but Saeran never thought that. And that was because he did the same thing. He had a love for nature and similar to you, he thought that they were like good company. That the flowers would not abandon him. He was starting to be intrigued by you.

Finally, after a week of watching you, he had courage to introduce himself to you. He felt a little embarrassed that the two of you got off on a somewhat wrong foot. But you didn’t think too much about that day.

“I’m MC. I should have introduced myself last week,” you scratched the back of your head as you awkwardly introduced yourself. You weren’t quite sure what to say to him. You’d just met him and quite honestly, your socializing skills were way beneath the floor.

However that started to change.

That day Saeran talked all about how he loved plants and how he came to the garden every single day, and right before your shift ended, he asked for your phone number which you gladly gave, not thinking too much about it. He would probably forget you and delete your phone number eventually.

But you thought wrong.

Days of seeing each other became weeks. Weeks gave you time to develop a solid friendship. You were fine with friendship because you were still able to keep a safe distance from him. Admittedly, you didn’t want to grow too attached to him. If he was just like everyone in your past, he would eventually forget you. You already told yourself you’re not a memorable person.

Weeks later, you still worked at the gardens and grew accustomed to Saeran’s friendly visits. You really enjoyed his company and for once you actually forgot about your anxiety. You forgot what it was like to be left behind because he filled you with so much care and friendliness. However, you didn’t know he had his own demons just like you but somehow you felt it. And he probably felt yours too. Being in each other’s company was in fact healing for the both of you.

One night, Saeran couldn’t hold back, and leaned in to give you a kiss. You were left there frozen for a few moments and soon ran away without even apologizing or making up an excuse.

Saeran texted you so many times that night. He kept apologizing and saying he overstepped. You read every single one of the messages and you felt horrible for what you did. But you couldn’t help yourself. Running away was your way of defending yourself from attachment and keeping your sanity, because if you were being honest to yourself, you were falling for Saeran. You were so afraid though.

On the receiving hand, Saeran was beating himself up for what he did to you. He felt like an idiot but he also was so scared for what would happen to the both of you now. You were someone who understood him. You two had such a deep connection. He had never had with anyone else because everyone abandoned him once he began to show his true colors. You, on the other hand, not so much. But maybe now he blew it. He was so desperate every time he sent those texts until he finally sent one message that was a hit to your heart.

“Please don’t leave me…”

That moment you realized he was a reflection of you. And now you knew what it felt to be on the other end. You, who had always been left behind, were abandoning Saeran, but those words made you go back on your decision to run away from him. You began to understand your own anxiety from an outside lens and that was enough to text him three words.

“Where are you?”

Saeran was sitting in his apartment’s balcony staring out at the cityscape. As soon as he saw you walking towards the building, he ran down the stairs and met you in the lobby. Without saying a word, you embraced him. It was the first truly warm hug that you had given anyone. Part of you just wanted to let go already but the other half knew that this was a step forward to overcome your anxiety. While hugging you, Saeran only wanted to tighten his grip on you. No one had ever come this close to him except you, and he wasn’t about to let you slip out of his grip.

For the first six months as a couple, everything was perfect as could be. Being with each other seemed to be a solution for the both of you and it was almost as if both of your anxieties had faded away. You two led normal lives and were a disgustingly cheesy couple. You both went out for ice cream, and you took a step forward to move in with Saeran. Besides, it was closer to your new workplace at a research institution. He visited you at the institution and in return you would also visit him at his agency. Both of you shared intimate moments with each other and grew even closer to each other. Slowly, your attachment to him grew stronger as did your urge to run away. Saeran on the other hand, was beginning to tighten his grip on you so he wouldn’t be abandoned by you either.

After those six months the both of you started learning more about each other’s demons. Saeran put two and two together and realized you had attachment anxiety, and you discovered about his abandonment anxiety. This was just like putting two magnets together. Whereas you ran away from attachment to defend yourself from abandonment, Saeran would do everything possible to make sure you never left him to defend himself from abandonment.

It was suffocating you. Saeran texting you every given moment so that you would come home and everyday embracing you tighter than the previous day. It was all too much. And worst of all, you were very convinced he didn’t know that he was suffocating you. He just didn’t know how to treat you despite knowing that you wanted to keep a safe distance from him, metaphorically. He knew you wanted escape but Saeran simply didn’t know how to control his affection for you, and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

So you ran away.

You didn’t know where you were going. You just took off for a week or so. You left with whatever money you had and went to a hotel. Anyone could see you were a mess, not able to breathe by Saeran’s side. And leaving him for that week was enough. Were you going to go back and face your fear? Were you going to set aside your own anxieties help Saeran out first? Those thoughts clouded your mind, and stressed you out so much.

Saeran blamed himself for everything because he just didn’t know how to deal with someone who was identical to him in almost every aspect.

In that week that you left, Saeran lost it. He had multiple breakdowns at first. Then he slowly began to realize that for either of you to ever be okay again, one of you had to give up their fears first. Only then could one help the other without pushing each other away. He wanted to be responsible for helping you out so that the two of you could have a healthy relationship.

Because, despite all of this, as a couple, the two of you were pure and had something worth fighting for.

Saeran figured he had to stop thinking about you abandoning him and change to help you realized that he wouldn’t ever abandon you. That way it would end your own fears of being left behind; that way you could stop fearing commitment and attachment, so that running away was no longer necessary. Saeran became aware that he was only fueling your anxiety by being the way he currently was so he had to change first.

Then he would help you learn that if you run away, you would never know if you were going to be left behind to begin with.

When you returned to Saeran’s home, it was very late. You felt somewhat guilty about arriving so late. And seeing as Saeran didn’t answer the door, you assumed he was sleeping. That was definitely something new because before you ran away, he would open the door almost instantly as if he were waiting for you even at late hours. Honestly, it was uncomfortable sometimes. The fact that Saeran took so long to answer gave you more than enough time to reconsider leaving again. However, about 2 minutes later, he opened the door for you, so happy that you were here. You felt his embrace was looser than before just like when you first hugged him the day you became a couple. His aura was different too.

It was…welcoming. Comforting, even. He was changing and you could see it.

The both of you talked out your dilemmas while in bed. Saeran actually kept a little more distance from you so that you wouldn’t feel suffocated, though, he lovingly stroked your hair as you spoke to him.

You told him everything on your mind. It all sounded more depressing to Saeran than you would have imagined, especially when you mumbled with a broken laugh, “I’m always the one who’s left behind. Forgotten. But I figured that I can’t be thrown away if I don’t let anyone get close, and it’s worked all this time I guess…”

“But how do you know you’ll be left behind,” Saeran asked softly. You had no answer to his question because you had never really thought of that possibility. Your only answer had always been to run away. Seeing that you weren’t looking at him and remained silent, Saeran placed his hand on your soft cheek. “Look at me, MC. Give me a chance to show you I won’t leave you behind. I don’t want you to be scared anymore.”

You lifted your head and met his eyes, placing your hand on top of his. This new Saeran made you feel so at ease, and you knew that he only wanted to be there for you. His reassurance was enough reason for you to smile, and you quietly muttered, “I’ll stay then. I won’t leave you.”

If he was doing this for you, the least you could do was to stay with him. You had to give something in return. It was a mutual effort to aid each other in overcoming their anxieties.

Months passed and Saeran was clearly showing signs of progress. He no longer was fearful on nights that you came home late without telling him. He learned to control his affection for you and to loosen his grip on you. Your relationship with him grew more intimate and deeper, and months turned into a year.

For the first time in years you felt that you could finally breathe. Being with him was healing you, but something was missing to fully overcome your own anxiety. You just didn’t know what it was and until you could find it, you went through cycles between happiness and fear.

After two years with Saeran, you found that this was the longest you had stayed with someone. It was also the longest time anyone had spent with you. However, your fear slowly slipped back into your life and it seemed to never want to leave. It was as though you were waiting for the day you would be abandoned.

That year, your hair started turning grey from constant stressful thoughts. You would dye it constantly with retouching sprays. However, those only really lasted for about three days each application. You didn’t stop hiding it from Saeran though. You wanted him to believe you were progressing just like he was. He had already gotten rid of his anxieties but yours never faded away. They remained dormant for a while until now. What triggered it was still a mystery to you.

You simply couldn’t bring yourself to tell Saeran that you weren’t fine anymore. You started becoming more paranoid. When he didn’t answer your messages, you threw all logical thinking away and never paused to think that maybe he was just busy working. After all he didn’t have the easiest job as a hacker. You were so convinced that he was easing his way out of your life and that he was tired of you. But pretending to be fine around Saeran proved to be extremely burdensome.

Saeran began to be piece clues together that you were anxious once again when he found an empty dye bottle in the trash can. You had forgotten to throw it away somewhere else since that week you had become lethargic. You didn’t keep up the maintenance with your hair and rather kept it under a beanie; it was fitting because it was winter. Under your hat, you had about 5 inches of hair that was vibrant grey while the rest was still chestnut.

One night that same week, you were completely consumed by your fear when Saeran hadn’t come home. You found that you couldn’t breathe easily anymore and were desperately pulling at your shirt’s collar while you stayed up watching TV. You hoped it would distract to watch some Korean dramas but it failed. Your palms were sweaty and you heart was racing. It felt like the world was spinning around you and you couldn’t take it anymore. You ran from the apartment and despite being afraid of being outside, alone in the dark, your anxiety was much stronger.

You only went as far as a few blocks away. Throwing caution to the wind, you ran across the streets without noticing the cars around you. You were startled by one car at an intersection but you couldn’t see that it was Saeran in that car.

Saeran had been so scared that he’d almost run you over but he was quicker to chase after you, leaving the car running. You finally stopped running when you could barely breathe and found yourself in front of a bus stop. You held onto a light post and cried out. Screaming into the night, not caring for who heard you, was the only thing you could do. You just didn’t know what to do as you were physically in pain.

Then out of the blue, you hear Saeran yelling your name and found yourself in his arms as a broken mess.

“Shhh… Shhh… you’re okay. It’s okay I’m here,” he attempted at calming you down. He felt you gripping his jacket so tightly and shaking in his arms.

You were trying to find your words and managed to say between breaths, “I-I love you too much Saeran! I’m so scared of losing you. I don’t know how to handle these feelings… it feels like I can’t breathe!”

“I know… Please calm down, MC. I’m still here. It’s okay to be scared. But I’m not going anywhere,” he stroked the back of your head. Then he heard you coughing over and over again, worrying him sick.

You gripped your own shirt, trying to pull it from your chest, wheezing and struggling to catch a single breath. “S-Saeran, I… can't… breathe.”

As if it were an instinct, he carried you on his back and took you back to his car, thanking God that he actually left it at the intersection. He sped all the way to hospital, catching glimpses of you to make sure you were still conscious. Forgetting to park, he stopped the car in whatever convenient place and dashed you all the way to the emergency room.

After the mess died down, you were now calmed down (more like sedated) and laid down on a bed. It was only now that Saeran noticed your bright grey hair and heavily sighed, tears now falling down his cheeks. How couldn’t he have seen that you were only putting on an act this entire time and that that was why he found the dye bottle. He knew what your grey hair meant because he once was in the same place, but that was far long ago even before he met you.

After waking up, you felt so ashamed for having held your pain for so long that you ended up here. You were prescribed to see a psychiatrist in the end. Your anxiety had gotten out of hand that you needed medication to deal with it.

Saeran encouraged you to take your pills every day because on your own, you refused to. In all honesty, it was like a hit to your pride since your sanity was basically dependent on the medicine. But Saeran told you it was nothing to be ashamed of.

You were so thankful to have met Saeran even under your circumstances. After about ten months, you were regaining control of your fears and suppressing them with his aid. Sadly, it wasn’t enough to stop your hair from growing out grey. You two learned that going to the botanical garden eased your mind and it became a place that Saeran made sure you visited every other day.

He remembered everything you two had gone through in these past four years and he never regretted anything. You were the best thing that happened to him and well, he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life.

Saeran thought that it was finally the perfect moment while you were both visiting the garden one night. You were light hearted and radiant most of the time, and after fighting your fears with you, he was possibly more elated and relieved than you. He loved you so much, and the words you cried to him that night when you had that panic attack always rang in his ears.

“I love you too much. I’m scared of losing you. I don’t know how to handle these feelings …”

All Saeran wanted was for you to know that love wasn’t something to fear, and he fell to one knee, holding a ring as he confessed, “MC, I can’t remember what my life was like before I met you here. I almost forgot what it was like to smile and laugh, and even love someone before you came into my life. I know we’ve both had our struggles but we’ve somehow made it through it all. Together. I don’t even want to imagine where we would be now if I hadn’t scared you that day. Much less do I want to imagine where we could be right now.”

You already knew what was going to come next but you still couldn’t avoid your emotions. You weren’t sure if you were overjoyed but all you knew was that you had to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“Saeran…,” you whispered with a smile.

“MC, will you marry me?”

Eyes watering, giving Saeran the widest smile he had ever seen, you nodded in place of the words you couldn’t form. Holding your hand softly, ever so delicately, Saeran slid the ring on your finger. The ring had a blue rose engraved into it.

Then he laid a deep kiss on your lips and you held him so tight.

He won’t leave me. I won’t be alone.

You married in a courthouse with Saeyoung as your witness. Both of you felt you didn’t need to hold an extravagant wedding to prove that neither of you would be abandoned by each other. You had worn a flower from the botanical garden in your half grayed hair, proudly, and Saeran saved that flower in your home.

Six months later…

You were just finishing showering when you noticed something changed in the mirror. Something you bad desperately wanted from the start and all you could do was feel so relieved.

“No. This can’t be oh my god,” you muttered to yourself.

You dried up, clothed yourself, and wrapped your hair in your towel before you yelled out for your husband.

“Saeran!!”

He was there in like three seconds; he was so worried that you were yelling out because you hurt yourself or fell. But seeing as you were upright with a huge grin plastered on your face, he knew it wasn’t what he thought.

You removed the towel from your head, Saeran finally understood why you looked so excited, and you exclaimed, “It’s not grey anymore!”

Your roots were finally growing with your natural hair color and Saeran pulled you in, whispering in your ear, “You finally won, my fighter. I knew you would. I love you, MC.”

And he gave you a long kiss on your forehead that told you everything he couldn’t find words for.