#first day of 3

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[the-maw-consumes]

do you think it'll let up soon?

static version:

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[toxooz]

also been thinking abt pooki with his cunty scarf💅

if my next drawing post isnt the comic update take me out back and shoot me like a sick dog

[decapod-appreciator]

Ally Beardsley once again playing the most gender character of all time

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

[rocktheholygrail]

#cozy cannibal autumn 🍂

[reunitedinterlude]

phil being supportive of ywgttn + wad

bonus:

[kitamars]

doodles as i relive my spideyman phase from eighth grade

[shitpostingkats]

Oh english is absolutely not his first language.

[arisushanti]

attention all bg3 players who have also played any dragon age game!! (which is probably everyone, let’s be real)

im conducting an experiment, so if everyone could please reblog with their romance choices for both games

regards

[hinamie]

...........slips gege ¥2000

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

[beybuniki]

fishing trip day 2 & 3 🎣🍀

[zu-is-here]

Commission for @magicmurasaki ♪ Thank you very much for supporting me! (〃ω〃)♡

Nightmare by jokublog

Error by loverofpiggies