#for FULL reference of how little i do traditional art just know i've been using the exact same sketchbook since 10th grade

[bonetrousledbones]

gnawing at the bars of my cage bc i'm home for thanksgiving and all i have to draw with is a sketchbook bc i haven't set up my tablet with my laptop (i had like five entire days before i came home that i could have used to draw and actively chose not to)

[simplydnp]

WAD: Cover Art

dan is still working on selling the distribution rights for We're All Doomed! so i decided to make some DVD/Blu-ray disc jacket art!

this is my attempt at a traditional jacket design! none of the images used are mine, but i did create the concept and design:

as i was making the first one for myself, i was struck by the fact that 'well, it's for me, so it doesn't have to look like a stereotypical jacket cover' which led me to be more artsy in my approach for the next one:

i was really enjoying the creativity and space to explore, so i went looking for more inspiration for a third design. this led me to dan's favourite Muse album: Origin of Symmetry, which i paid homage to:

after the first Muse album, i looked at their catalogue to see if there was more inspiration there. i was just thankful dan's favourite was easy stylistically to mimic, unlike say, 2009's The Resistance...

thank you @danielhowell for the inspiration!

nerdy stuff & reference pics below the cut!

General notes

i don't know how to use photoshop! i entirely brute-forced my way through the whole project, and the only tutorial i looked up was for the gradient text in the 4th cover

this wasn't even the original project i was working on! you'll eventually get to see that though

and this one also inspired art for the disc itself so stay tuned 👀

i will do anything for authenticity so these are Full of intentional details

matching fonts is a nightmare

the traditional cover

took the longest, as it was the first.

the barcode numbers are the date of the first video he uploaded on dinof, and the last tour show date (in m/d/y)

i changed 'iceland' to 'poland' on the front cover, as he never actually went to iceland, and poland wasn't ever on the list even though he did go there

the orange may look a little off-center in the front, but these designs need to include space for a spine between the front and back cover, i promise it's right 😂

the black and white cover

inspired by the 'i want to believe' aliens poster

the cover art comes from his metal band merch shirt design

i had to manually shrink the text, line by line, and ensure it all lined up on the back!

i even made the logos on the back greyscale

the Muse: Origin of Symmetry cover

a shockingly perfect style for a WAD cover. i'm so glad i used the cubes, even if they couldn't be orange.

there's some versions of the art online where the sky is even more orange and it baffles me how i haven't seen any parallels like this before

the Muse: The Resistance cover

this cover was never supposed to see the light of day! i meant it when i said i was grateful i didn't have to try to adapt this complex design... and yet, i tried anyway.

i did all the grid lines by hand, including the jagged/broken edge parts, shading each section, and then drawing every star.

the hardest part was getting the gradient on the back text to cooperate. photoshop's gradient settings are surprisingly limited

gotta shout out @amazingphil for being the reason i knew what this cover looked like--it's the only muse album i knew the art of before embarking on this quest!

obligatory sob story:

i've been extremely and suddenly ill for 6 months. it is difficult to function moment to moment, but especially in doing little things just for me. this is the first and only art project i've been able to feel inspired to not only work on, but to finish, and despite the pain and long hours, i enjoyed every minute of it. thank you, dan, for creating this space for me to explore, and thank you, everyone here, for being wonderful support during this time 💞

[yourwitchybrother]

On Worshipping Lord Apollo;

I've decided to start a little series about the deities I worship, have worshipped, and will worship in the future. I've always found posts like these to be more helpful and, if I can help anyone, I think this is an amazing way to to so. In this post, I'm going to cover a lot, so buckle up! And I will make a master post for all of the posts I make in this series.

First up! Lord Apollo.

Hands down, he is the deity with whom I have the most experience and personal anecdotes. Apollo has been in my life since the very beginning. I go into a little bit more detail in this post, in which I detail how I view him as a worshipper, my patron, and a godspouse. For information's sake, however, I will try to keep this post a little bit more factual than UPG. UPG stands for "Unverified personal gnosis", which refers to a spiritual belief that stems from intuition or personal spiritual experience. So, while UPG may seem to line up with mythos or just "make sense" for the deity, it varies from practitioner to practitioner and from relationship to relationship. With that being said, I'll focus mostly on the facts with some little bit of advice thrown in from your older brother :)

Correspondences!

First, let's talk correspondences. Consider this a little cheat sheet if you will.

☀︎ You can refer to him by Apollo / Apollon, typically he will clarify which. Many regard him as "Lord Apollo/n", though it is fully dependent on your relationship with him. I drop the Lord unless I'm praying or invoking him, such is the nature of our relationship. For the sake of this post, I shall be referring to him formally as Lord Apollo.

☀︎ He has... a lot of epithets. You can view them here (theoi.com) if you'd like to see a full list.

☀︎ Apollo is typically associated with Sunday, and such is associated with the Sun.

☀︎ He has many sacred animals - The raven, dolphin, swan, mouse, and wolves.

☀︎ Tarot-wise, he is associated primarily, and most commonly, with The Sun. He has also been associated with The Star, though I do not see this one in many sources.

☀︎ He is the God of a plethora of things. The Sun (he is responsible for pulling it across the sky), Light, Poetry, Music, the arts, plague, prophecy, logic and reason, truth, beauty, agriculture, and archery. I am sure I'm missing things. And if you know other deities to be associated similarly, that is okay. Many Gods can share domains and rule over certain things.

☀︎ He is associated with the colors red, white, orange, yellow, and gold!

☀︎ Symbolically, he is related to the Sun, the Lyre, the Bow and Arrow, and the Laurel Wreath.

☀︎ For incense, he is linked to frankincense, myrrh, cypress, clove, cinnamon, and bay.

But that is a lot of correspondence. What can we do with these? Why, I'm glad you asked! With this list of correspondences, we can start to worship Apollo by the book. These would be some more traditional things that would assist you in learning what you want to offer him, what to associate with him, and what you should keep an eye out for. In a later section, I go over some familial ties that can prove useful as well.

Apollo, as an individual

Lord Apollo has typically been regarded as a "beginner deity." He is very easy to work with, incredibly receptive, and is universally known as being a little more laid back with things such as offerings, prayer, and worship. Though I've found all deities to be understanding of circumstance, there is no strict schedule unless you decide to adhere to one.

At the start of our relationship, I found Lord Apollo's energy to be rather bright. I was very new to picking up on spiritual energy and the metaphysical, so his energy felt very overbearing, and we did not spend much in-person time together because of this. He was understanding of my limitations, but he did not hesitate to push these limitations as much as he could for my personal development. This is something he continues to do to this day.

While he does tend to carry himself rather relaxed and carefree, he has no issue being serious and stern whenever needed. If there were signs he was sending me and I would intentionally ignore them because they pointed in directions I did not like, he would respond sternly and ferociously, forcing me to face the negative sooner or figuratively shoving my nose in the signs so I couldn't avoid it. If I needed to face a brutally honest truth, he had no issue being brutally honest. This makes sense, considering he is the God of Truth and Knowledge.

Lord Apollo is also very playful. He's easily excitable. He loves seeing the people he works with make good progress. And if you take a few steps back, depending on your relationship, he is absolutely there to catch you. He is reliable and present. Additionally, he likes attention. He absolutely adores being talked about, thought about, referenced, and thanked. He adores being said good morning to, or even just getting a wave. Some people regard such deities as "high maintenance", but I really just consider it part of his character.

You have every right to decline to work with a deity, by the way. Don't feel as though there's any obligation to work with every deity that is considered "of your skill level", as there is no such thing, and you should only work with a deity once you are ready. The Old Gods do not come with stats above their head and white text that says "PREFERRED LEVEL." They are Gods. You should not get involved with them if you do not feel ready. And even if you feel ready, there is no pressure to invite them into your life.

Worshipping Tips!

This one is a bit lengthy. Apollo, being one of the twelve Olympians, has a lot of lore surrounding him. But this gives us a lot to work with! You can devote time to him in a lot of ways. This involves worshipping or leaving offerings to his family!

His mother is Leto, his father is Zeus, and his twin sibling is Artemis. Familially, he is not married to anyone, but he has had a series of lovers. One account says he was, at one point, a lover to Hekate and together they had Skylla, a sea monster. Though this is unusual. He was said to be a lover to each of the Nine Muses but married none. He fell in love with a myriad of nymphs; Aethusa who birthed Eleuther, Akakallis who birthed him twins Philanderos and Philakides, Daphne who was turned into a laurel tree, and more. There's famously Hyacinthous, a prince, who was accidentally killed. Hymenaeus, another prince, and Cyparisus, another prince, who died of grief and was transformed into the cypress tree.

This gives us a whole lot to work with. Especially for offerings! You can leave him a lot of things:

☀︎ Cypress tree leaves or seeds. ☀︎ Bay leaves ☀︎ Laurel leaves ☀︎ Sun imagery - charms, pictures, drawings, anything. ☀︎ Crystals - Sunstone, citrine, tiger's eye, amber, bumblebee jasper, orange selenite, carnelian, and other yellow, red, or orange stones. ☀︎ Coffee, energy drinks, or anything with caffeine in it. ☀︎ Citrus! Oranges and lemons! Grapefruit! ☀︎ Flowers - Hyacinths, sunflowers, orange roses, larkspur/delphinium, palm, aloe, or any plant that reminds you of him. ☀︎ Instruments - String instruments are the main thing people offer, however you can offer him any instrument. ☀︎ Art - Things you made. Drawings, sculptures, compositions, poetry, paintings, song lyrics, photography, literally anything you made with your two hands.

In terms of what you can do to worship him, there are a few things you can do.

☀︎ Maintain your physical and mental health. Go to the gym, take your medicine, and positively affirm yourself. ☀︎ Sing for or with him. Play an instrument. Learn an instrument! ☀︎ Write short stories or poetry. ☀︎ Go outside and bask in the sun for a little while. ☀︎ Say Good Morning and Goodnight; Thank him for pulling the sun across the sky. ☀︎ Write about him. ☀︎ Draw him offerings, or draw in his honor. Create in his honor. ☀︎ Do a paint-and-sip class, or follow a Bob Ross tutorial. ☀︎ Pick up a new creative hobby. ☀︎ Volunteer at a local hospital or nursing home. ☀︎ Grow some of the plants that are sacred to him! ☀︎ Go to your local museum or art gallery. ☀︎ Support small artists! Support local artists! ☀︎ Create a hymn in his name and honor. ☀︎ Wear jewelry with his symbols on it. I wear a sun necklace! ☀︎ Wear perfumes or colognes that are citrus-scented or scented like any of his preferred incense.

At the end of the day, you can really do whatever you want for Lord Apollo if it reminds you of him. And you can give him whatever you want, so long as it reminds you of him. If you think that it may not mean anything to him, let me give you a bit of brotherly insight. Offerings were left for The Old Gods as a thank you. A form of appreciation for the divine from the physical, mortal plane. People left whatever they had. And if they had nothing, they would pray and hope to be heard. While offerings are not optional, remember that your words count, as well. Even if it seems small.

And if you have any questions, as usual, please ask!! I love talking about Apollo. Not only am I godspoused to him but he's one of my biggest hyperfixations and I absolutely love talking about him and spreading his teachings and information on him. So this is me begging you to ask me questions, ask me anything, literally anything in the comments or in my inbox I will eat it up. Maybe I'll open up a brotherly advice box or something. Non lo so, ma vedremo!

Blessed be, and may the sun be your guide! A domani!

[akosijayjay]

January and February dump

This is my most recent work of Lloyd, and my most recent work in general. I made this in the computer room at school with a painful high-sensitive mouse. We have these special course thing in our junior high, so every tuesday after class, I get to be in the computer room. For six hours... (My course is Visual Graphics Design. I'm kinda regretting it now since I've been thinking of becoming an architect... I can't change my course now since it's too late. Which is stupid.)

I'll try to draw more there! I really like drawing with a mouse cause I like the challenge. And since I'm not accustomed to a high-sensitive mouse, it'll be a bigger challenge for me!

I made these two in traditional then polished them digitally since I straight up just used a pen. I rarely use a pencil nowadays so I can learn to fix mistakes without erasing it. Usually it ends up looking like chicken scratch but I'm getting better.

My Harumi one is so bad lol.. When I was making it, my classmates around me were messing around and moving the chairs in the process, making me have to draw strokes with shaky lines. It's not that noticeable though since I made the lines thicker.

I was planning to make something for Rebooted's anniversary but I got busy... (And lazy) The PIXAL one was inspired by an animatic I saw.

If you compare the previous Arin portrait, yes, they don't look the same. I'm trying to find a look for Arin, as I do with every character, that I'll be satisfied with.

By the way, I'm kind of basing Arin's hair with my classmate's hair. Which is funny because my other classmates compared this artwork to my classmate, who looked nothing like Arin but have similar hair, commenting they're the same. (I'm not mad because I actually find this a bit humorous)

I was trying to make an animatic and this was going to be the sketch. But then again, I got busy and lazy. (Mostly lazy)

I accidentally changed their facial features a bit by accident on the second page because I forgot to reference the first page. It was tiring flipping pages every 5 seconds, ok! Also, I drew it after 2 days when I drew the first page, and I didn't have a design I liked for them yet. (...I just noticed Jay has different eye colors in both pages...)

I think I'm sticking to these looks for Lloyd. I'll try to make it accurate to this. (I think I did great with the first image of this post. Though, I made him too round for my liking.)

Discard the growing beard post redesign Lloyd has. That beard thing was supposed to be where his chin was until I realized it was too small. And it's still too small.

Child Lloyd is so cute! The eyeshadow wasn't intentional at first, but then it got me thinking, what if Lloyd had an emo phase? And now emo child Lloyd is my headcanon.

Pre redesign Lloyd kind of reminds me of TommyInnit, and I find it quite funny. Maybe it's the facial gesture, I know a lot of TommyInnit fanarts with that silly face.

For Dragons Rising Lloyd however, I want him to have long hair with his post redesign face. I'll try to make full body designs of the 4 Lloyds.

You guys probably don't care, and this is the first time you've seen me because I don't have an exact artstyle and I dont post as much, but I'm going to put descriptions now since this blog is going to be a silly little art dump! And blog posts are supposed to be descriptive. Which I should've done in the beginning and explained my works..

Anyhow

If you liked my art, thank you!

If you saw me before and told me I did well, thank you and I'm sorry!! I know my previous posts have gotten comments and I'm sorry I didn't respond.. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just don't know how to express my appreciation for your positive feedback! Or just reply in general... I get nervous even when I'm wearing my mask..

Please don't hate me, I'm just really anxious to show my work to people I don't know to the point where I might think people disliked my artwork when it's the opposite..

(I'll probably copy paste this in future posts now lol. But I AM thankful that some of you guys think my works are great!)

[thatonegayship]

This probably feels weird to ask

But I love how you draw dipper in general and your art in particular! Is it possible you could do a little tutorial on how your process goes?

If you don’t want to, I understand completely. I felt really hesitant asking this lol. Anyways, love your art!!!

I'm not the *best* at talking technicality, and certainly not about drawing Dipper; I have three distinct styles when dealing with him, that being Billdip Dipper, Canon Dipper, and AU Dipper, all of whom have entirely different purposes both visually and narratively. This results in some pretty inconsistent representations:

That being said! I'm totally cool with going over my process with you! Layout, technique, brainstorming, all that.

Generally speaking, I like to start my digital work on paper. Nothing crazy, just a basic idea that captures the pose, expression, and clothing (these things are destined to change by the end).

Notice the cloud of dirt kicking up at his feet. Look how I position one arm out while the other pulls farther back, and his hair blows from his face. There's a clear emphasis on motion here, both in body language (feet turned against the force) and added attire (Pinetree cloak flowing back, dust cloud at his feet, etc.)

This design is destined to change, but for action scenes like this, it's good to begin with an expressive foundation, so that once we start chipping away at and remolding our concept, we're building off of a design that encapsulates the *scene* we're wanting to convey. That is, no matter how much we shave off, we still have a strong foundation to reference towards and lean into for inspiration.

The next step is transferring our rough sketch into a digital setting.

This is where I tinker with the lasso tool, maybe take reference photos of the exact pose I had in mind. Here, I'm just breaking down my original sketch on a tablet. I readjusted the feet's position, pulled that other arm in to his chest, and straightened his arm out for a more powerful pose.

The next step focuses on pushing the pose and correcting anatomy errors.

Alright, cool! Now he's not just bracing for action, he's *jumping* into it. The back arm's pulled in like a fist, his shoulder bunched up close to his ear. We see how his body's twisted at the torso, chest out, legs stretched, arm extended.

Notice too how I utilize my shapes to empower the pose. Front arm and leg, extended. Lots of straight lines. It *curves* because of muscle and fat, but outside of that, they're pointed in a distinct direction. Contrastly, his right side curves at the hip and follows subtly up to his chest. This helps emphasize his lean into whatever he's attacking, sort of like a bow.

Now we've added details! You'll notice I've changed a lot of my initial design from my rough-sketch to fit more into the style and personality of Dipper in this setting. Since he's, you know, a "Pinetree," I figured his clothing should reflect it. I'm still working in pencil at this point, blocking out the general shapes of what I want, but not really exploring my options.

The cloak follows a slight gust, his hair flows back, the mushrooms on his shoulder lean out from the action, but these are still only guidelines. Keep it loose! Explore things! Have fun with it!

Next step, Inking. Digital art is *very* forgiving, so I'm a lot less concerned about moving forward without a full idea of my vision. This is usually the step I'm most inspired at because it allows me to go back over my loose sketch and add those minute details that excited me so much. I do not recommend moving forward without full confidence in your initial sketch when using traditional art! YOU WILL CRY!

Clothes: changed. Pose: changed. Details: expanded on.

This is where a bit of knowledge in anatomy is really going to serve you well. Bridging the gap between sketch and ink has always been very difficult for me, and it's due in part to those uncertain, not-quite-right bits I have to build off of from my initial sketch.

It's good to keep your rough draft light and fluid so that they capture the emotion and general pose of your character, but it's also important to keep in mind how you'll have to balance *maintaining* that level of expression while incorporating more realistic aspects of their design.

Take for instance Dipper's left foot that went from being tucked up under his butt, to being in a more braced position- like he's about to land, or skirt to a halt. As a loose sketch, it captures the motion very well. However, incorporating muscle and kneecaps and detailed shoes brings out a lot of the visual flaws. Proportion and angle become a serious issue if you aren't entirely sure how a particular body part would flex/squish/shorten in a particular position. The more realistic you go, the more jarring your mistakes.

This is, of course, not me saying you're forbidden from drawing your characters with a leg under their butt with big, meaty thighs. It's *actually* me letting everyone know that I tried working with the pose, building on it looked weird, and I decided to take a different approach. You are 100% allowed to try something else if your initial plan doesn't work out.

This step is where we adapt and improve. Our digital rough sketch didn't really capture the full power of his motion. His cloak kinda billows out like "Yeah, I'm a cloak, I billow gayly." It's flat, hollow, uninspired. Here, you're looking at photo references of Pinetrees, both real and not-real. You're gonna have to make it look like needles and branches, while *also* being a flowy bit of clothing.

For this, keep in mind how *cloth* moves with a more exaggerated, majestic rough sketch to overlay atop our failure of a branch jacket. Die.

See how despite the spikey pine needles, his cloak follows a distinct pattern? Additionally, this coat works in 3-dimensions. There's an outside and an inside, and it curves like a dome around him. It floats behind him, curves in front of him, lifts up, dips down. Really, it's up to you, but always consider your work on the third plain.

ALSO! Very important: Keep an eye on your line weight! Seriously, this took a long time for me to get a firm grasp of. Not *shading* really, but put a bit more emphasis on those bent spaces with darker lines. See that bold line connecting his thigh to his glutes? And the one behind his knee? DEPTH!! IT ADDS DEPTH!!

And *here* is the final product! This is the shading section, arguably my favorite and least-favorite part about my drawing process. Working in black and white, you don't really have to worry about getting every little shadow on your character. Just shade what needs emphasizing; everything with a shadow gets an added layer of depth as well. This is the part that gives your work an additional POP.

Consider too that shading isn't just solid black, even if you're working in black and white. His arm and under his hood are pretty solid black, but the interior of his cloak is far more textured and light. We see where it's darkest at his sides, but leading out, it lightens into distinct markings that (in my opinion) are visually more appealing. Using this tool is ultimately up to you, though.

Okay, the end!

[munsonshire]

Hello! Can I please get a matchup for supernatural?

I'm a straight female and my pronouns are she/her

I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and fairly large eyes. I also have these dimples that I really like!

I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything. I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching films very much! It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I adore big and small romantic gestures and I love domesticity sm!! My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3!

Thank you very much!

Anonymous x Supernatural Matchup

Hello there!! Here is your request, I hope you like it!!

Disclaimer: its been a long LONG time since I last saw supernatural, so keep this in mind hehe.

I believe you would match pretty well with Castiel.

Learning and knowledge

Castiel shares your intellectual curiosity and thirst for knowledge. We is constantly learning about the human world, pretty much like you enjoy knowing about different genres and subjects.

Also, his vast knowledge of everything, having been an angel that has lived for thousands of years would be amazing, he'd talk to you about so many topics most would include angel themes such as celestial lore or even the intricacies of angel weapons and so on.

You two would always (playfully) challenge each other on knowledge of different things

You'd also tease Cas a lot because of how outdated some of his information about human history is.

You'd provide a grounding presence for Castiel as he tries to understand and learn human emotions and relationships. While he would introduce you to the Supernatural aspects of the world (lets be honest, you'd be a hunter and his tips would be useful)

Potential Banter

Castiel's literal interpretations and occasional social awkwardness could lead to some truly hilarious moments.

Imagine trying to explain sarcasm or a pop culture reference – the possibilities for amusement are endless!

Also his straightforward nature and close to no filter when he talks would bring so many funny moments between you two, especially due to your playful personality. Also, expect the most unhinged comments ever

Your playful personality could help him loosen up and discover the joy of wordplay.

Artistic connection

Being an angel, Castiel's appreciation for art may not rely on human traditional art forms, though he does marvel at the complexity of human creations

You say you're interested in poetry and I can imagine Castiel asking you to recite one of your favorite poems to him. Then him being awestruck by the emotional depth of the poem you just read to him.

I believe he would be very interested in painting and sculpture, especially the ones based on angels and god (cuz he's an angel), enter The Piety by Michaelangelo or Crucifixión de San Pedro. Caravaggio (1601). He'd also be amazed by modern ways of painting, such as digital art, he can't quite grasp how it works but he likes learning about it.

You two go to a lot of museums

His ability to transport everywhere is beneficial, he'd take you to all the different libraries, museums, and historical buildings that you might want to visit

Challenges to overcome, growth Together:

Castiel's angelic nature can be a double-edged sword.

His loyalty to Heaven could create conflict if it ever clashes with your values

However, open communication and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives could lead to a deeper bond and a stronger relationship.

Your nurturing personality could be a balm to Castiel's struggles with understanding human emotions

As he opens up (slowly, but surely), you'd be there to offer support and guidance

In turn, his unwavering loyalty and angelic perspective could provide a sense of security and stability in your life.

The hopeless romantic meets the loyal angel:

Castiel, despite his initial awkwardness, is a deeply devoted being.

His angelic expressions of love might not be what you see in human relationships, but his unwavering loyalty and willingness to protect you speak volumes

Together, you could create a unique and beautiful love story, filled with grand gestures and quiet moments of domestic bliss.

I really hope you liked it, if there's something you'd like me to add, anything you don't like of somewhere where you want me to in-deep more just tell me!!

[ekkurea]

hii I hope it is okay to ask this but I would like to know more about how you use ai for digital art. I've read your previous posts about it and tbh colouring and rendering is smth I've always struggled with, I don't have the best eye for colours and as much as I practise I can never get the lighting/shadows to look good. would you mind sharing your process of using ai as a tool to improve your art? such as which apps/sites to use? what you specifically use it for and what other things it can help with artists? and any tips you have for using ai in art? thank you!

Hello! Of course, I would be happy to answer your question.

Actually, I don't have anything particularly new or interesting to tell you, sorry. Firstly, I want to say that I completely understand you. Colour has always been a big problem for me, because even knowing all the theory, I spent a lot of time creating a colour palette.

If you put aside all the "traditional" training and the search for comfortable work with colour (which is still ongoing) and talk specifically about ai, then a video from Ross Draw on this topic immediately comes to mind. That is, as one of the options for using ai art as a raw material for creating a drawing. In fact, apart from this video, I've watched a maximum of one or two other videos on the use of AI art, so my knowledge is limited to my little experience.

I use AI in a picture-to-picture format, not text-to-picture. I work with a specific request from customers and many references. First, I create a full-fledged colour illustration, draw all the details, light and shadows, and then upload it to the AI editor. I have a few common ones downloaded that you can find in the App Store, such as unidream and faceplay. There is a fee for using them, but I wouldn't really recommend spending money on it. Maybe free trials will be enough for you. Personally, I expected something better. Besides, I know that some sites and companies already offer artificial intelligence that is not based on stolen art. This solves the problem with copyright. After processing my drawing, I look at how I can improve my illustration. I pay attention to everything: colours, lighting, work with folds on clothes, etc. I try to analyse everything. During this practice, I really see how my skills have improved, and I think my progress would have been longer without it. In addition, I try to draw everything myself with the characters, they are the main thing for me, but I spend less time on the background and rely more on AI.

How else can it help artists? I have a lot of ideas, but I haven't researched and practiced any of them yet. For example, a social media strategy, creating quality ideas on socially important topics to be reproduced in illustrations... There are many things, but of course, it is just a tool in our hands. It can help us become better and do better things.

I hope I can gain more experience in the future to be of more use to you. Have a nice day and all the best.

[palimpsessed]

So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

[formerlyfandy]

1-20

oh dear thats a lot/pos

1. Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

I dunno.. I would say traditional because paper sketches always look nice! (And because i can do them anywhere)

2. How long have you been drawing?

Probably my whole life! I started carrying a sketchbook around with me in.. either 4th or 5th grade!

3. How many classes have you taken?

Uh.. All my school life probably! (So about.. 8! [I didn't have one in kinder or first grade]) Never taken out-of-school art classes yet :\

4. Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog?

I have a deviantart but I don't post there, it's just to look at others art!

Golly, a personal website would be fun! But also too much to manage :\ I also don't know how to make one so no

I've tried making an art blog but I never actually finish art and post it there.. I post it here usually! (I can give the link to the semi-abandoned art blog if you want)

5. What’s your favorite thing to draw?

Ocs and characters! It's pretty much all i draw tbh ^^''

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Probably animals or realistic-type drawings

7. How often do you use references?

When I need to, or when I'm bored and need inspiration (and also have motivation to do so)

Scale of 1-10 rating: I'd say a 4

8. Do you draw professionally, or just for fun?

Just for fun right now! My art isn't quite enough to be professional yet!

9. How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

oh.. uuuuuuuuuhm.. I'd say at least 3 hours?

10. Are you confident about your art?

Semi-confident! Some, hell yeah! Those are my favorites! Others... not so much

11. How many art-related blogs do you follow?

Too many to count ._.

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Yeah of course! I'd try to explain it the best as i could!

13. Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

I like drawing things for other people from time to time! Usually it's just for me though (With one or two ecxeptions)

14. Do you ever collaborate with others?

No, but it would be pretty fun to!

wait scratch that i did once with my best friend!

^^^ This was the result!

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

Full blown? I'd say.. probably an hour and a half Now with an original background is another story

Othersise... a sketch? Probably 30-5 minutes

16. Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

I definitely draw more now!

17. Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice?

Nope. Absolutely not.

okay maybe but it's like.. minor advice

18. What are you currently trying to improve on?

Keeping one artstyle..

19. What is the most difficult thing for you to draw?

Profiles.. also perspective

20. What is the easiest thing for you to draw?

Spamton (the little fucker)

I can draw him from memory (Which was a first-)

[vardasvapors]

Do you have any Lindon headcanons, if so please throw ALL of them at me because I have zero and it's terrible. This was more Elrond-centric bc I've been trying to fill in that thousand-year gap between Elros and war but then I realised how LITTLE I can actually picture of... the biggest Elven kingdom in Middle-earth... Galadriel's off collecting fairie court campsites, and Celebrimbor's kickstarting a magic object Renaissance, and what's every other elf doing this millennium? I just don't know!

omg i’ve lazily on-and-off thought about making a wip list of vague Lindon headcanons before so this is the perfect excuse. hope you don’t mind me limiting this to just the timeframe you mentioned, or this post would be WAY too long, instead of just regularly too long:

First: observe, my Lindon tag! It’s not very long, but

This and especially this are some of my favorite headcanon visuals for Second Age Mithlond as a capital city. Starting as a giant camp for everyone who escaped from Beleriand, lots of flux, more like a RL city than most Tolkien cities: gorgeous, but very disorganized, patchwork, built up ad-hoc, happenstance and convenience slowly rising into districts. All the people stopping in it or passing through it, either east or west, leave another layer of their presence there. um….I still haven’t read invisible cities despite buying it because of bamboocounting like….months ago. Anyway it’s 90% turned to dust by LOTR.

With abruptly going from lush inland forested river-filled Ossiriand to this newly-formed bluff-edged shoreland with a huge new saltwater gulf splitting it down the middle, I headcanon it being a pretty big mess for decades. Before Galadriel took a lot of them to Eregion, I picture all the characters you mention spending a lot of time on fixing up – collecting and reuniting scattered people, building houses, establishing diplomatic ties and supply chains, etc.

eg: there is very little formality or ingrained institutions and no palaces full of comforts let alone luxuries for at LEAST a century, thanks

BUT, the fixing-up period being mostly a very happy time! Like, I think there was certainly a ton of hardship and stress with trying to keep people fed and housed in this chaotic near-post-apocalyptic situation while new villages and stuff were built, and fighting stray dark creatures who had also escaped, but still a lot of general relief and feelings of being insanely fortunate and curious exploration, finally free from being under constant overwhelming threat again even if this peace is quite a different kind from the peace before Morgoth returned, going hand-in-hand with the work, and building together as a conduit for bonding and feasting etc – and celebration and joy as deliberate defiance against the loss and grief and war they suffered. I think this real-world thing would fit it well.

Not a very big population at first, since not a lot survived at all, and most of the elves went to Eressea and most of the humans went to Numenor, and most of the Sindar who remained went east. I headcanon the early “kingdom” as more…scattered villages along the shore with a large but transient population concentration around the Havens because most of those were just looking for their friends and relatives and waiting for seats to open up on the constant flood of ships heading west, and when the passengers finally dwindle down this distribution has taken root and multiplied, but not a really powerful force until post-The Mariner’s Wife.

After the establishment period, now that it FINALLY isn’t a time of war, after centuries of it, elves start having babies all over the fucking place, and all the accoutrements that go with it. Dozens of new and half-forgotten festival days that are literally just giant bacchanalias, zillions of weddings, society shifting to be very oriented towards sex and romance and children and child-rearing, rather than warfare, etc. With this showing up a lot in their songs, and art, and lifestyle, etc.

One of the most delightful Lindon-adjacent nuggets in the Histories of Middle Earth I think is that elves of Lindon spent at least 50 years, if not more, ferrying the Edain to Numenor. I won’t repeat the tag ramble I appended to that passage here, but just… *blows kisses off fingers* it’s so absurd and fitting….I think of this as a big post-war self-image thing, the cataclysm and Morgoth’s defeat just so utterly scrambling their view of the world and their role in it. >_o

Speaking of that, not a lot of cultural continuity between the Noldor of the First Age and the Noldor of Lindon. The people of Cirdan and therefore at first for Gil-galad were the Falathrim, so I hc that especially after lots of Noldor left for Tol Eressea and Eregion the dominant culture of Lindon was a blendy Falathrim twist.

But that’s mostly just dominant as a plurality – the real “main culture” of Lindon is the hodge-podge mixture itself. Exiles who stayed because they wanted to, exiles who stayed because they are ex-Feanorians or otherwise can’t face going back or aren’t allowed. Descendants of exiles, mixed Noldor/Sindar elves who weren’t even born during the early Silm. Noldor who feel totally alienated from everything, Noldor who feel more connected to their fellow people of Sirion than to the Noldor generally. Survivors of Gondolin, survivors of Nargothrond, Sindar who didn’t want to go east, Edain who didn’t go to Numenor, Edain who are just waiting around to go to Numenor, Dwarves who had to leave the Blue Mountains due to them being broken up in the war, other peoples of all kinds, who all scrambled convergently to Lindon to flee the incoming war and water like ants. The areas of Lindon, and the districts of Mithlond, array themselves as reflections of, or deliberate eschewings of, the weird headlong rush into intertwining and splitting apart and morphing into new things that characterizes late Silm-era dynamics and groups.

In addition to pre-existing Falathrim attitudes about the sea, a major cultural/religious/etc tradition would spring up in Lindon in relation to the sea – the destructive, overwhelming, healing, saving, unfathomable, un-tameable, enticing, perilous sea that broke the earth, yet cleansed it, destroyed both enemies and homes, the place that now holds everything that Beleriand was in its depths, the place that deliverance came from. Kind of a less cynical but still very terrified version of Voronwë’s complete lack of chill about it. Sea-longing and going to sea and either never coming back or not coming back the same carves out a major place in their understanding of the world. One of the Standard Identities available to a segment of the popular in Lindon is like, “oh, he’s Waiting For A Ship,” An overlap of understanding grows between them and the Numenoreans over this. Ahem. Feel free.

eg: great Implied Significance for the new shoreline and the gulf of Lhûn as the place where Beleriand broke off and sank. References to these places as idioms to refer to being just past the furthest reach of a calamity, or a now-innocuous reminder of past calamity, or the duality of homecoming and escape

also eg: “lmao X is as unpredictable as the Lhûn amirite #microclimates”

the Numenoreans love them, but are sort of boggled by them. They have the same strange varied mixture and mood swings of cheer and gloom and Issues as the ex-Exiles and ex-Sindar of Tol Eressea, but the Numenoreans don’t entirely understand why they stuck with Middle Earth, for after a few generations have passed, the Numenoreans can only really guess, from their own lore, what having life experiences that were once concurrent with the long-distant sufferings of their Edain ancestors might be like. The Tol Eressean elves, on their island of release, are easier to understand, they’re sort of like us! But what of these weirdos back east – and that way lies the peril of like…you know. Everything wild, that Numenor is not

ETA: Later, when they realize the shadow has returned, this slow kind of infuriated disillusioned backslide…like, really? really? again? and the buildup back to war being really grim and depressing, though a minority of them always knew something like this would happen again. And rising conflict short of outright hostility with Eregion. People relearning to be soldiers again…or generals…

[misspixnmixanswers]

Hi Khale. This isn't really a question, more like whining, but I've just been so frustrated lately. Before the bipolar manifested, I used to be constantly creating, no matter my mood. Every single day, I was doing something with my hands, and it felt so good to surround myself in things that I had made. I felt like I was in a little dimension of my own, with things I was proud of always within arms reach. I felt worthy and alive and warm, because I was one of those people who DID things, but now

“now I feel like I can't do anything. I try to create, and it doesn't work. I try to pick up my hobbies, but it all seems so ugly to me now. I have this need in my heart to create, but it's like I'm all out of fuel. I look at my old creations and they seem so much better and happier and full of character, but now everything is dead. I feel like I lost a spark and I have no idea how to get it back. I've been creating all my life and I don't know how to cope when I'm not doing that. I'm scared thatthat I've lost such an important part of myself to my mental illness and it's never coming back. People say to just keep trying but when I create now, more often than not I start crying or get angry and it just distances me more from wanting to do it. I can't find inspiration anymore, and nothing seems to help. I'm sorry for whining so much, I just needed to get some fears off of my chest. Thank you, Khale.”

 It’s perfectly OK to write just to get some fears off your chest. I identified a lot with your words. I lost my creativity too, years ago, when I first started on medication for my depression. In my life until then, I’d constantly been creating. I would draw for hours a night, and I always had new and fresh ideas. This stream of creativity was the most central part of my sense of self, and even though in my every day life I was incredibly depressed, at least when I was creating I knew who I was. 

When I started on medication, all of a sudden, my creativity just... ceased. I would sit in front of a page or canvas, and my mind would be blank. I just didn’t have any ideas. I tried drawing things that were familiar, that usually sparked something in me, but it was like nothing wanted to come out of me. I had been an illustrator my whole life, and now suddenly I couldn’t draw. This was a heartbreaking time for me - was this really going to be the cost of getting better? Losing my most precious sense of self? 

A few things really helped me to find a way to be creative again. Firstly, my then-partner bought me an art-therapy book. There are actually many books designed for people with mental illnesses that contain self-directed art therapy exercises. The book asked me to do things like make collages, write prose, draw patterns, experiment with colours - a lot of simple activities that not only helped me to explore my feelings about my recovery, but were (crucially) different from the way I usually create. These activities were completely new to me, so I didn’t feel pressure for them to be ‘good’, because I didn’t have a previous standard to compare them to. And most importantly, they got my hands moving - even if it was something as simple as cutting pictures out from a magazine, I was using my hands to do SOMETHING. 

After I worked my way through my first art therapy book, I still couldn’t sit down and illustrate like I used to, but I felt confident that if I had a framework, and I was doing something new (so that I didn’t despair that I couldn’t create anything as good as my old work), then I could at least create something. At that point, I started writing notes about my recovery (I hadn’t kept any consistent sort of journal since I was a teenager) and as an experiment, put some of these notes in order on a page to make a story, with the hopes that I could communicate to my partner how I was feeling in this whole process. That’s how I started writing I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder - I’d always read comics, but I’d only really dabbled in creating them, and didn’t really know what I was doing. I knew that what I was drawing was not my best illustration work. Some of it was downright awful. But it was new, and that learning process kept me interested enough to keep doing it. My sketchbook went untouched for months - then years - but at least if I was making these comic pages, I was doing SOMETHING. 

I know how awful it is to feel like your creativity has been stripped away from you. It’s a crucial part of who you are. But it’s not lost. It may have changed, it may now have to be expressed in ways you’re not used to, but you are still a creative person. 

I know it may be hard to find the energy to do anything, but if you can, try something new - something that you don’t have much experience with, and thus are allowed to suck at and learn from. Maybe it’s using online life drawing reference websites to do rapid-fire sketching, or a pottery class, or instructional dancing videos, or even something more structured like following an embroidery pattern, or those incredibly detailed adult colouring books that are all the rage right now. Allow yourself to take a break from your traditional media and explore your creativity in other ways. It’s OK if you’re not particularly good at it - you’re a beginner, no one expects you to be an expert. The important thing is to give yourself permission to do something just for the sake of doing it. 

There are a million ways to be creative. You may not be as connected to your usual stream of creativity now as you once were, but that doesn’t mean that there is no way for you to be an artist. It’s OK to acknowledge that you can’t do your expert-level work right now. You’re still allowed to explore creative processes and find something you enjoy. No one is judging you. 

I know it can be hard to do anything when mental illness is a significant factor in your life, and while I am doing all this talking about trying new things, it is just as important to first and foremost take care of yourself. If all you have energy for right now is getting out of bed each day to take a shower, that’s OK. You only have to do your best each day. With time and care, you will continue to grow in strength, and who knows what you’ll feel up to trying as you get better. But everything happens at your pace. You make the decisions for your life and body, and only you know what you feel capable of each day. It’s OK to be selfish and just look after yourself. 

Beautiful, you are doing so well on this journey. I know it feels impossible at times, but I promise you there is a way through this. You are stronger than you know. Please keep fighting. You are worth it. 

All my love, 

Khale xox