#for some stationery stuff she wants to buy

[ppulverse]

it's so crazy to see strangers on the internet showing more empathy towards me than my own sister 💀 like girl ???

[finanmoghra]

Charming Irishman

pairing modern!Finan x reader

summary an irish pub opens in front of your flower shop, and you can't resist that charming irish who owns it.

warnings smut, finan in general

word count 4.1k

gif credit

a/n guys english isn't my first language and i've never wrote smut in eng, so forgive me for any mistakes, i tried my best. also i suck with small talk so maybe things will happen "fast"

-

It's a typical thursday at Winchester, you are heading your way to your flower shop as you always do in the mornings. That street is so habitual to you by now, the tiny coffee shop, the record store, the stationery shop, and oh, that irish pub of course. That place used to be a lot of stuff until 4 months ago when some men bought the place and open an irish pub right in front of your shop. You don't talk like it's an annoyance, everythings is quiet as usual for a pub during the day, but you're not so sure about the night.

The thing is, a month or two ago, a dark-haired man walked into your shop, with a smirk on his face, you have seen him around, principally that smirk, you noticed that he worked at the pub but when you first heard his voice with the strong accent you assumed that he was the owner. At the first time, he asked for your help to buy some flowers for his sister, whose were moving back to the town, he explained in an attempt to start a conversation, you suggested him pink roses and while you prepare the bouquet, he introduced himself as Finan, and as you assumed, the pub owner. You had a samll talk before he left.

Two weeks after that, Finan started coming over every week, usually on thursday, like today, and you always have his order almost ready by the time he shows up. You two got along very easily, he was all flirty over you, politely, however. You started to have longer conversations as the weeks passed by and was in one of those that he explained why the same order every week. His mother was struggling with some problems and when he showep up at the family dinner with flowers for his sister, he noticed that she got a bit emotional, so now he takes 'em every week to cheer her up. You couldn't resist thinking he's such a sweet guy after that, even though you try not to give attention to his flirts, you can't deny that you enjoy his company, he has been saving you from boredom and entertaining you on monotonous days, as he casually shows up on days other than thursdays.

The hours fly by and when you realise, you're hearing the front door bell ringing and a familiar figure walk in.

— Hi Finan, it's been a time since I've seen you. — you say with a little smile on your face.

— Hey Y/N! Did ya miss me? — you could tell that damn smirk was on his face even if you weren't looking.

— Miss your jerk face? Never. — yes, you did miss him.

— I'm gonna take it as a compliment. — he winked at you — Sorry about my absence, it's been a busy week.

— St. Patrick's Day, I presume.

— Yeah, we have some weeks until then, but as an irish, I have to make a proper celebration, ya know. — he tapped his fingers at the counter while looking at you — And talking about pub stuff, ya should come for the happy hour tomorrow.

As consistent as his visits on thursday, it is his invitations.

— I'm gonna think about it. — you say as you finish the bouquet, you won't admmit but you always leave some things to do when he arrives so you have more time to enjoy his company.

— C'mon, ya always say that! Ya have to meet the pub and the boys wants to know ya better!

The boys whose Finan is talking about are, Sihtric and Osferth, who both work with him, and Uhtred, they're Finan's best friends who he is always talking about. You kinda know them from seeing around but never really talked to them.

And, he's right. You always says the same thing, but in your defense it's been a bit hard to resist all these flirts, and you fear getting closer to him and ending up with a broken heart. You're sure he's a sweet, kind and cool guy, but also he seems to be quite womanising as well.

— I swear I'm going to think about it. — a smile grew up on your face as you realise he got puppy eyes

— Really? — he asks.

— Really! — you roll your eyes although you're smiling to him.

You two got engaged into a conversation and don't even see the time passing.

— Damn it! I'm really late, I have to go now. — he says after having a look on his watch.

You were ready to say something when he gets close and pecked you in your cheek. — Bye, lady. — he says as he walk away.

You could feel your cheeks getting warm and you froze but managed to say something before he leaves.

— You may see me tomorrow.

He didn't say anything but you know he was wearing that smirk.

-

Finan's visit at your store is not the only constance in your thursdays, actually you reunite with your former roommate and best friend, Ealswith, at thursday's nights. You two meet when you were both on college and had started living together after some time, it's been a while since you two live separetely, but you two still really closer, thankfully to the girls' night.

You two were really enjoying the night while having some wine and snacks, listening to music and soon that topic came up.

— He came over today, as usual, invited me to go to the pub tomorrow, I said I was going to think.

— As usual. — Ealswith mumbles.

— Stop it. — you smack her arm — And he kissed me before leaving. At the cheek! — I say before she get too excited.

— C'mon! You should go, really. You can no more act like you don't like him, it's so obvious.

— I cannot go! You know it.

— I know what? By the way you tell me, he's into you! And he wants to know you better out of your workspace.

You start to argument but Ealswith cuts you. — Don't say you afraid! You need to stop assuming things, maybe he's all flirty because he likes you.

— I- argh.. — you hide your face in your hands, you know she's right.

— Hey, hey! Look at me. Tomorrow you will close the shop, go to your home and I will meet you there to help you get ready, I'm going with you so if anything goes wrong or you don't feel well, we go home, right?

— Don't you think he's gonna find it, I don't know, weird to bring someone?

— I'm pretty sure he will understand you not going alone, and hey, maybe you can set me up with one of his friends. — she winks at you and you both start laughing.

— Okay, alright then.

-

So as planned, Ealswith showed up at your house to help you get ready as you were too nervous, it took a while but you could finally decided what to wear. It was nearly 6 p.m when you asked for a cab and it didn't take too long to arrive so in a few minutes you were at the pub.

You could feel your hand a bit shaky before walk in, but Ealswith noticed and hold it 'til you calm down.

You entered the pub and looked for that familiar figure, you couldn't find him but you managed to find Osferth, who waved at you and called Finan's attention to you.

— Hey Y/N! Are ya really here? — he greets you, laughing a bit

— I told you would maybe see me today!

— Don't blame me for being surprised. — You rolled your eyes at his answer, still smiling. — Ya brought a friend, hi!

You intruduce her to Finan and after that he takes both of you to their table, and properly presents you to the boys.

— What do ya ladies would like to drink? — he asks as we are all settled down.

— Just a pint, it's good. Right? — you turns to Ealswith and she nodded.

— One more round then! — he says to the waiter close to our table.

— It's good to finally meet you, Y/N! If you didn't work here in front I would think that Finan made you up. — Sihtric says and makes Uhtred and Osferth laughs and Finan roll his eyes.

— Yeah, it's nice to have an opportunity to see if everything Finan says about you, it's true. — Uhtred takes part.

You can ser Finan's cheeks a little bit red and you smile at this. — Well, I hope he have only said good things about me. — you answer kinda shy yet.

— Trust me, not a single bad thing. — Uhtred says.

— Except from you never accepting his invitations. — Osferth says and Finan smack his arm. Poor boy.

— It's good for you all to meet Y/N, and it's good for me to finally see the face of the mainly topic of our talks. — Ealswith says and you can feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as it get warm up.

— Hope you've heard of us too. — Sihtric winks at her.

-

Anyone who passed by your table would think you were all friends for years, you got along easily and the night was being so fun, you were really enjoying their company.

After some time, you and Ealswith excused yourselves and headed the way to the toilet.

— God! He's so into you, more than I've thought. — she exclaimed at the moment you were out of their sight.

— Do you think? — yeah, you noticed how he looked at you since you arrived, but you didn't want to assume something.

— You know I say this because I love you, but stop being a fool! He fell down for you, I can say it for sure by what his friends said.

You couldn't argument with her, the signs were there and you have to admit that this is all you have wished for.

On the way back to the table you told her to go ahead and you were just back her. You stopped at the bar and asked for water, and while waiting you felt someone approach, you prepare to deal with a drunk guy who's trying to get along with some woman, but actually you feel chills when you heard that voice.

— May I say ya look stunning tonight?

— I would appreciate it, yeah. — you smile as you turn to him. You may be dreaming about that voice and smirk for days long.

— It's everything alright? — Finan asks.

— Yeah, just needed a bit of water before going back. — the bartender hands you a glass of water and you thanks him.

— So, what ya think? — he points to the place.

— You did a good job here, it's a nice place for sure.

— I'm not even going to ask about my friends 'cause this is something for Ealswith to answer. — we both shared a laugh.

— She and Sihtric got along very well, I see.

— Don't blame her, he can be very persuasive.

— So does she.

You two spent some time talking alone, just sharing things and getting more closer to each other.

When you two decided to go back to the group table they were all laughing of something.

— What's happening? — Finan asks as he pull a chair for you on his side.

— We were just telling Ealswith about one day after we started here and you crossed the streets so many times trying to get a reason to go to Y/N's shop. — Sihtric answers, still laughing.

— We're surprised you didn't notice him, Y/N! — Osferth says. — Otherwise I think you'd be scared of him.

— Good I didn't notice though. — I reply laughing at Finan.

— Alright, alright, stop talking about me.

You got a bit lost at the conversation when he stretched his arm across your chair and you could feel his fingers running through your undressed shoulder.

-

It was nearly midnight when you and Ealswith decided to go home. You said goodbye to the boys, saying it was nice to meet them and on the way out, Finan decided to go along with you.

You were at the pub entrance waiting for the cab Ealswith asked for, you could feel Finan catching your hand into his, he pulled you closer to say:

— It was a good night.

— Yeah, it was. — you said with a low voice just for him to hear.

— Hope we can repeat it, or maybe just the two of us. — he winked at you.

— I would like that, for sure.

You two were getting really closer when Ealswith call you out. — Y/N! It's here.

— See you thursday. — you smile at him, you walked away but turned back when remember something. — I almost forget it. — you handle him your shop card, but at the back you've written your personal number.

He catched it and you didn't think so much before approaching just to peck him in the lips for a few seconds before leaving.

— This woman will drive me crazy. — he speaks to himself when you've already leave.

-

Another week just started, you spent your weekend betwen spending some time with your friends trying to keeping up with everyone's lives and chatting with Finan. The last part taking over your weekend.

Things were getting a little bit more serious since you kissed him goodbye on friday and you allowed yourself to be open to a possible romance. Finan's flirty personality stayed the same, he would do it at any chance it was given to him, and you like it, it's good to feel that somebody wants you.

You were talking to your friend, Aethelflaed, on the phone about Finan and you jumped when you heard the sound of the door bell thinking that could be him but you turned around and saw a boy with curly hair into your shop.

— Morning! How can I help you?

— I'm Aethelstan, I'm here for the assistant job, we've talked on the phone. — the boy says, a bit shy.

— Oh, right, Aethelstan! I'm sorry I was a bit distracted. — you shake hands with him. —You've mentioned you are studying biology, am I correct?

— Yes, you are.

— So I think the flower stuff is gonna be easy, I just need to show you some other things and then you can have your first day here, and at the end of the day we discuss if everything is going alright.

-

The kid learnt the things pretty well, that was good because it's been a busy day so far.

You were checking some things at the computer when you saw a familiar figure at the other side of the street, he had just arrived, it seemed.

— Aethelstan, I'm going out quickly, pay attention if someone comes in. — you say a bit loud as the kid was at the back of the store.

You crossed the street before he get into the pub. — Finan,hey! — you call his attention.

—Y/N, hi! — he comes closer to hug you quickly.

— I just wanted to ask what are the plans for St. Patrick's day?

— So ya're planning to come?

— Only if it's seems cool enough. — you give him a smirk

— I won't say more than this, but if ya come ya gonna experience the best party of your life.

— I don't know if I believe, but I'll give you try.

— You should bring Ealswith! — you jumped when you heard Sihtric, he showed up from nowhere. — I'm sorry I have to steal your man but we got work to do.

You felt the warm on your cheeks after he called Finan "your man", but you didn't say anything, actually you liked it.

— See ya later! — you hear Finan says before being dragged by Sihtric. You blowed him a kiss before he entered the pub and then you went back to your store.

-

It seemed that an eternity have passed before friday arrives. It was a busy week and you barely saw him, even on thursday, he came but was in a hurry.

It was a good week, although. Aethelstan really helped you, you just found out that he and Finan are neighbors, they both live at the same building. The poor boy had to listen you talking about Finan a lot during that week, especially when Ealswith and Aethelflaed came.

You were actually doing nothing but counting the hours for you to go home, and Aethelstan noticed it.

— You know you can go home and let me finish stuff here, I can close the store.

— Are you sure of this?

— Yeah, it's not a big deal, you can trust me.

He was right, it was not a big deal.

— Okay then, thanks Aethelstan! See you monday.

It didn't take long for you to arrive at home, of course you had decided your outfit during the week, you were only waiting for Aethelflaed and Ealswith to come so you could get ready. Once the girls arrived and you all got ready, your home was a mess after this, you took a cab to the pub.

The pub was more crowded than usual, you notice that once you arrived, but it wasn't hard to find Finan as he and his friends were at the same place as the last week. You greeted everyone before getting a seat at his side, you introduced Aethelflaed to them and also met Uhtred's fiancé, Gisela, she was a kind woman, you hope you get more chances to hang out with her.

The night was going really well, you and the girls have danced a lot, you ordered too many green drinks, that you weren't sure of what it was, you were all having fun, there wasn't a moment when someone wasn't laughing. You felt really happy between them all, it was good feelings that you have made new friendships like them.

-

Things went a little wild when Finan intercepted you on your way back from the toilet and took you to his office upstairs. He closed the door behind you, his arms now rounding you.

— Oi! Calm down, my dear. — you said, not knowing exactly how to deal with him so close to you.

— I cannot, not when ya are out there being so beautiful, I can't stay away from ya anymore. — you feel chills when his hands squeeze your waist, pulling you closer to him

— You don't need to. — you gave him a smirk, but it didn't last too long as he got even more closer and catched your lips in his.

You felt breathless, it was even better than you thought, his lips were soft but rough over yours. His hands sliding down on your hips, it was a sign that things were getting hotter. When both of you were running out of breath, you could feel him break the kiss but leading the way of his lips to your neck. You gasped with the sensation, he sucked that point behind your ear.

You could feel his hardness against his trousers as he grabbed your arse, you started to feel the need to get rid of your clothes and when you took your hands to Finan's shirt he took a step back. You didn't understand why he would do that.

— Look, I really want ya, but I'm not doing in the right way. — he could see your confusion. — I didn't plan for this to happen here, so what ya think about going home with me, uh?

— I don't want to look desperate, but please, take me home. — you kissed him before you two settled down and go downstairs. You found Aethelflaed on the way and told her where you were going before leave.

The way on the cab was.. something. His hands running through your thighs all the way to his home, you were glad it was close. As soon as you entered at his flat, he pinned you on the door, kissing you hunger than before. He picked you up, your thighs now almost undressed under his touch as he leads you to his bedroom.

— Ya have no idea how many times I've thought about ya, about your lips against mine. Ya are such a dream, Y/N. — he says as he laid you on his bed, making sure to touch every inch of your body.

You pulled him closer enough to whisper on his ear. — And you have no idea of how many nights I dreamed about you touching me like this.

He kissed you hard, hands undoing the zipper of your dress and soon you were only wearing a black lace matching underwear. The look he gave you made you feel like you were burning inside.

— It isn't fair that you are all dressed yet. — you said running your fingers through his, still dressed, chest.

— This won't be a problem anymore. — he smirked at you as he started to unbutton his shirt. It didn't take so long until both of you were only on your underwear, you not so much as he took your bra off, sucking on your breasts, before going down on your body, starting to run his mouth on your inner thigh while playing with the laces on your panties before taking off.

You let a moan out when his lips pressed on your sweet spot, he went dived onto you, sucking on your clit, making you feel like you were in heaven.

— Finan, please, more! — you groaned when you felt his finger rounding you before enter you. You couldn't control your moans, praising him as his fingers curved inside you, hitting that spot. You couldn't contain your hands from pulling his hair when you came on his mouth.

You only had time to take a deep breath before Finan was all over you, kissing you breathless, your taste on his tongue. He parted the kiss, smiling at you as he brushes your hair off your face.

— Are ya ok? For another one?

— More than ok! — you answer laughing.

He took a condom from his trausers, rolling on and soon he was back over you. He kissed you as he was slowly entering you, and both of you were groaning loudly. His name leaving in between your lips like you were praising him, the sound of your hips colliding getting louder as he slammed into you. He was relentless, hard and fast on you, your nails scrapping his back, your thighs gripped his hips making he going deeper.

— Fuck, Finan! — you groaned loudly

He flipped you, now you were on top so you started riding him, rolling your hips over his causing to hit your spot. He grabbed your arse and you layed down over him, meeting his lips again, going up and down on him, now with his hands controlling the rhythm. You felt you were close so you started moving faster, soon you were clenching around him, moaning his name as he came right after you.

He slowly pulled out of you, and you fell at his side, breathless.

— That was... I don't even know. — you say between breaths, laughing with him.

— I'll be right back. — he kissed you on your cheeks before getting up, he pick up his boxer and then disappear into some door. He came back with a towel on his hands and get on the bed again. — Now let me take care of ya.

You were already sleepy but you smiled at this.

After he clean both of you, he pulled you so you could lay on his chest, his arms holding you close and all you could do was relax.

— Ya're too good to be true, mo grá. — he left a kiss on your forehead before fall asleep with you.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Meghan's Merchandising: a failure from the start by u/EleFacCafele

Meghan's Merchandising: a failure from the start While everyone discusses the Logo and the Instagram page, very few have looked at what exactly Madam wants to sell.One line of business would be selling Cooking Shows. She has no training, no knowledge or experience in catering but thinks herself as a Chef who can sell shows. This area on entertainment is highly competitive and to succeed, you have to sell something original. Madam's only cooking experience was a recipe stolen from Cory Vitiello and presented as her own. What exactly is she bringing to persuade people to watch her show on a long term? She did not film a single episode to see what is her original entertaining point. Do you remember another nepo celebrity, the Beckham boy, who claimed to be a cook and the laughing stock he became?Another proposed business (of Mama who doesn't seem to know much about commerce) is selling tableware, cutlery, decorative objects, stationery, bird and pet food, and other unrelated junk and bric-a-brac. Except the pet /bird food selling which needs some veterinary knowledge, all those items listed are not subject to many repeat orders. How many cutlery and plate sets, decanters and other table and kitchen stuff can you buy? Only a few during lifetime. I am not sure how many people may want stuff with a pseudo-royal logo. I still use many of the items above, which were wedding gifts 30 years ago. How many jams, ketchup and other perishable food you can sell without reaching their expiration date? If customers don't like the taste, they will never buy again. Not to mention sugary food is avoided by people with diabetes, obesity and other health problems. To be successful in sales, you need saleable products with many repeat orders and a large customer base.Does she have a business plan and money or backers to finance the business? Madam think she can sell just by owning a luxury brand. It is not easy.Finally, does she have a business plan and financial backers for her project? Who will pay for producing, manufacturing and selling all above? Who will do it? A commercial enterprise is vastly different from endorsing poo drops as an Influencer on Insta, a la Tig whatever. post link: https://ift.tt/dPreN98 author: EleFacCafele submitted: March 16, 2024 at 10:44AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[pink-chevalier]

Journal Entry: Spring 08

Wow, it's been a while since I last wrote anything. I'm sorry about that. I got a bit distracted with some other things, so I didn't have the chance to update you. Damn, I can't believe I just apologized to a book, but whatever. I don't know where to really start or what to even write because a lot happened, but I guess I can explain why you're heavily decorated. After school today, Ophelia and I went to the stationery store to buy some crafting stuff. She wanted to write in her diary again, but she also forgot about it because shit happens. At the time, I thought it was a good idea, but I forgot that I'm not that creative when it comes to doing things like this. So, this is why you're somewhat heavily decorated; Ophelia picked the theme of spring, and I just went with it since I had nothing else planned for you. 

Ophelia and I are in the same school now since her school burned down. Maple Hills was an all-boys school, but apparently they were planning on becoming co-ed, and her school burning down is what gave them the push. I think they only did it because they needed money or something. I don't think anyone saw that coming, but I'm glad it did because I kinda like having Ophelia around. Nothing fun or interesting happened today. I found out that Sammy and Kameron didn't make anything official with Jaxi and Scarlett. I'm not surprised, since Sammy gets nervous and is convinced that Jaxi's too good for him, while Kameron believes that Scarlett doesn't want him. 

I don't really know what's going on with them, but I hope they figure it out, since the girls are also in school with us. 

Writing all this down made me realized that my whole friend group is dating. Dating isn't something that I really thought about… I don't think I'll make a good boyfriend. Who would even want to date me? I'm not that fun, and I'm average-looking. A snail has more of a personality than I do, and that's really saying a lot coming from me. 

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[stardustjie]

𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚟𝚒𝚙𝚎𝚛

the holidays with viper

even if she doesn't admit it out loud, sabine loves holiday season. the cold on her face when she is outside, her favourite beige coat, turtlenecks, hot black coffee in her hands, christmas lights and decorations... everything is a reminder of her childhood in seattle.

christmas decorations are not a thing she enjoys to do on her own since she finds it quite a waste of time, at best she could get one of those fake little trees you can find at tge store, but she loves do to that with you. trying to decide which aesthetic you want to have and trying to untangle the lights does count as quality time after all.

i think she likes a more sober and classy theme, similar to but not just like the classic red and green. she is not the type of person who does a ton of decorations, ypu are not getting a themed house dor sure, but she likes to have something in every room. a few candles in the bedroom, a little tree and santa themed stuff in her studio, and so on.

sabine doesn't look like a woman who likes silly traditions but she does, especially the ones she creates with you. like hanging the misletoe on the living room entrance and kissing you under it whenever you two enter the room. it wasn’t really her idea, but if that makes you happy them she is more than willing to do that.

she is not into classic holiday movies or romcoms, but she has her list of media that in her head is for the season. in said list we can find little women, gremlins and for some reason iron man 3. she kinda tolerates the classic holiday songs and even hums some of them when she is alone or only with you.

definitely not the type of person who gives a lot of gifts. she will write down a list of things she things you like or thing you mentioned and will choose one item. the wrapping is minimalistic but well done. also, she prefers practical gifts like stationery items or house stuff. buy her one of those etsy mugs with the chemical composition of caffeine, she will pretend to be pissed but she'll use it everyday.

[journals-and-journeys]

Hello :) 📚☕🍁

Introduction

My name is V (short for my real name), and I'm 26 years old. My pronouns are she/her.

I've had this blog for about four years, but recently returned from a quite long tumblr hiatus. I graduated with a Master's degree in Visual Communication in England and did an internship in Australia while I was gone!

I thought I'd reintroduce myself to y'all since it's been so long since I'd been an active studyblr on here! <3

Who/what I am:

a graphic design graduate (BA & MA)

living on the countryside not far from a city in Northern Germany (I want to move back to England though)

former student in the UK 🇬🇧

former graphics intern in Wales and Australia

fluent in German and English

I also speak basic French and I'm a beginner in Spanish (planning on learning more languages)

a shy introvert (I feel more confident talking online though!)

bigender (about 60 - 70% female, the rest feels male deep down). I don't make a big deal out of it though. She/her is what I go by 100% of the time, but I don't mind he/him either!

What I love:

music (metal & rock) + concerts

travelling - I especially loved travelling through Australia! 🌏

goth-y and witchy stuff 🦉

collecting vinyl, CDs and DVDs

books - I buy more books than I read though haha

art, design and museums

languages - however I wish I didn't lack motivation to study most of the time!

food & going to restaurants

coffee, tea & cosy cafes

nature, the sea and space

animals - especially dogs and birds!

stationery & pretty journals

decorating my home

Harry Potter (proud Ravenclaw!)

summer & autumn

the UK

ancient Egypt

philosophy, psychology & paleontology

old typewriters

more stuff that I can't think of atm

What I want to achieve:

become an art director at some point in my design career

learn more about these topics: marketing, art history, linguistics, philosophy, psychology, astronomy, ancient Egypt, etc. (I love learning!)

read more books, esp. British classics 📚

draw & paint more

overcome depression

be less anxious

post more original content on here

spend less time on my phone - I'm not a social media person and only use WhatsApp and Tumblr

not be a perfectionist all the time

I might add a few more points later.

Thank you for reading! I look forward to getting to know more of you lovely people and reuniting with old friends! 💕🌻

P. S.: I follow (back) from my main blog @hardwired-to-self-destruct.

[kassymalone]

Let me tell you about this celebrity I met. No I don’t know his name and I’m not looking it up.

It was a well known joke amongst my former co-workers that I never knew who any celebrity was. Sports persons, actors, singers, whatever, I never knew. I just don’t care. More than once they would come to me to chat about someone or other, ask me if I knew who they were, and when I inevitably said no they’d roll their eyes and rely ‘of course not, why am I asking you?’

So I used to work at Paperchase, which doesn’t exist anymore. It sold upscale stationery, homeware/gifts and greetings cards. Despite being in the city centre high street, our customers were generally middle class and up because everything was pretty expensive, but you got what you paid for because it was all good quality.

One night I’m at the till and a guy and his girlfriend walk in. Only two things stand out about them - they’re dressed like they think they’re in LA, complete with sunglasses (this is the north of England, love), and they loudly announce their presence with cheery ‘hi, how ya doing today?’ Weird but harmless, I think they look like wankers but I’ve seen worse, so I just greet them back.

A short while later the girl comes to the till with her stuff, I serve her like I would anyone else. She seems a little put off for some reason, but wasn’t rude, so whatever. Once she bought her stuff, she went back to find her boyfriend in the back of the shop, but that’s wasn’t unusual either. The bloke comes up to my till after with a single card to buy, and I proceed along with the usual. The whole time he’s looking at me like he’s expecting something, almost aghast, but he never says anything. Looking at me like I’ve grown a second head, but again, not rude. Once he paid, they both left.

The second they were out of earshot my colleague grabbed my arm - ‘do you even know who that was?!’ she cried.

Of course I didn’t. She immediately ran to another colleague and cried ‘what’s the name of that guy from Gossip Girl?!’

She looked up the guy on her phone, and sure enough it was him. The girls were beside themselves with laughter that he so clearly wanted someone to recognise/fangirl over him, and it was me of all people who served him. 

Still don’t know who he is. Apparently he was in Gossip Girl.

[aiunversehub]

So You Want To Be A Copywriter?

Wannabe copywriters often check out my site for information relating to my services and fees. And quite right too! I still give my competitor's websites a 'gander' every now and then, in case they're doing something that I should be doing.

I receive many emails from students working towards their marketing or other media degrees, asking for a few tips about securing work in the 'Copywriting Industry' I didn't realise we had an industry! If we have, it's surely a cottage industry because most copywriters are freelancers who work on their own and usually from home.

"Well what about advertising and marketing agencies?", They enquire. "Well what about them?", I ask. And so it goes on and on until they realise that a copywriter who works for a structured and institutional organisation, is a totally different animal to that of the freelancer.

Institutional versus Freelance

So what are the differences between them? There are many. Let's look at the agency writer. He or she is likely a talented person with creative skills and a good command of the English language. They will have learned, from their course work, the psychology of selling, aspects of communication and how to write in a flowing and interesting style.

Each day, at the agency office, they will work on their assignments, which have been delegated to them by their manager. Their work will be scrutinised by their manager or team leader, who, in the interests of their company, will decide whether it's worthy of publication.

After a couple of years, doing similar 'run of the mill' stuff, they may be offered the opportunity of coming up with something completely original. All by themselves, with no guidance, un-tethered by their mentor. And, in the interests of the company, not to mention their job security, they will produce something as institutional as they have been doing previously. They'll play it safe. Well wouldn't you?

Eventually, their creative awareness and talent may break through the institutional membrane and they'll want to move on. They'll want to do something for themselves. They may even become a freelancer.

A freelancer is just about anyone with a passion and a flair for writing. Some have started out on their career path by working for agencies, some have graduated in English and just feel 'qualified' to do the job, whilst others come into the 'industry' from a variety of other routes.

By whichever means, once they become a freelancer, they quickly learn to survive. To survive and prosper as a freelancer you must have the ability to adapt, diversify and develop the skill of writing in any and every style humanly possible. But there's more! You will have to meet deadlines, sometimes work for less than the lower national wage limit and learn to turn your brain inside out. Sounds painful!

What does it all amount to? What's the bottom line?

Let's summarise thus far.

A copywriter working for an agency will work in a nice warm office with nice friendly colleagues, writing simple institutional letters, brochures, ads and information packs. They'll be paid somewhere between 18K to 26K, get 4 to 5 weeks annual paid holiday and get to slag off the boss at the office Christmas party.

Sounds pretty good to me. If you want to be a copywriter, I recommend you go down this path. It offers a good salary and a steady secure position. The freelancer's life is not so clear cut. They mostly work on their own, write all kinds of stuff about everything and wonder where their next packet of fags is going come from. They only take short breaks, get stressed and slag everyone off at any party.

They're self-employed, so have to keep accounts. They have to buy all their own stationery, stuff their own letters and post off their mailings. They have to advertise or even worse, they have to compete to sell their services for a pittance to unknown clients through some online freelance website. The pits! Sounds terrible doesn't it? Then why do we do it?

The uncovered truth about freelancing

Well, obviously I can't speak for everyone so I'll tell you why I do it and how I do it. "Listen up"

The main reason I write for a living is because I love it. I've always been a creative person so writing comes as second nature. And let's face it, it's not very difficult to do.

I love the challenge that each assignment brings. I have ghost-written several books for clients and each has been on a completely different subject. The downside of ghost-writing is having to sign away all rights to the work, which means you can't showcase it or put it in your portfolio. The client gets all the credit for your masterpiece.

I've written many articles for websites, emails and sales letters. I write poetry, humor and boring stuff like FAQ's and product information. But I'm never bored because the work can be so varied.

Then there's the money of course. A good freelancer should be able to make around 50K a year. Some make less but some can make over 100K a year. There really is no limit. Make a name for yourself and not only will you be earning a good living, you could possibly find yourself in the enviable position of being able to pick and choose the work you do.

Still want to be a copywriter?

Good! Now let's dispel a few myths by answering a few questions that I get asked all the time.

The 6 Most Frequently Asked Questions

Do you need a formal education and a degree?

No way! Although most agencies will only employ graduates, there's no reason why a freelancer needs anything other than a good command of the English language, creativity and a flare for writing. There are many copywriting courses available, if you're a little unsure or want to hone your skills, but make sure the course work is set by an experienced and reputable copywriter.

Can previous work experience help?

Yes! Sales and marketing experience is very useful if you intend to make a living as a sales copywriter. At the very least, you should understand the sales process and the customer service aspect.

I don't have a portfolio. How can I get work?

Create one! Write some articles, write a small book, write some sales letters, brochures and emails. Show what you can do. Write for free. Write for charities, magazines or newspaper letter pages. Use your imagination and write about anything.

Where are the best places to get work?

You could try contacting marketing agencies by way of a letter of introduction, but don't hold your breath. Magazines are always looking for fillers, so this would be a good place to start. Local small businesses might be interested in having some leaflets written for door to door delivery. Contact them by letter, listing your services and your rates.

When you have gained a little experience, go online and subscribe to some of the freelance websites. Elance, Freelance Work Exchange and Getafreelancer are quite good, but be prepared to compete with other bidders from all over the world. Some Indian freelancers will work for as little #3 an hour, so you're up against it. Still, I think it's worth the experience. I get some of my assignments this way.

Build a website or have someone do it for you. I'm of the opinion that all businesses should have a website if they want to stay in business. Create a mail shot and work your way through your local Yellow Pages. Sell yourself. It's what you will have to do anyway, so get used to it.

What should I charge for my services?

This is just a guide. You'll instinctively know when you've become established. A one page letter consists of around 500 words and should take no more than 2 hours to write, revise and finalise. If you want #10 an hour, that'll be #20 for the job. Don't bother quoting a price per word as you'll find yourself writing a load of drivel in order to fill the pages.

Again, once you're established you can charge what you think your work is worth. It's not uncommon to charge #400 for a 6 page sales letter, if you're good.

What do you think is the most essential skill of a successful copywriter?

If you can't do this, you won't be very successful.

"Write as you talk"

That's it! You must be able to communicate with your reader right off the page. Your words must be conversational. You must be able to 'speak' to your reader and stir their interest, their emotions, their desires.

If you're trying to sell them something, you must be convincing. Your letter has to be compelling and attention-grabbing. Finally, your letter has to make them take some action. This could be filling in a form, making a phone call or writing a cheque. It's a call to action.

Still think you have what it takes?

Then go forth and return with the bountiful harvest of your creative genius!

If you want to know more, and there is a lot more, subscribe to my newsletter.

Good luck and warm regards, Check Best AI tools for SEO at AI Universe Hub.

[jodilin65]

FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 1995 I just tried to call Tammy but she’s still busy. I want to ask her what temperature and for how many minutes she recommends cooking two big potatoes. For all the shit Tom’s gone through today I want to make him a spaghetti dinner with baked potatoes. I told him I was afraid of this happening, but anyway, they’re fucking him around with his severance checks from AMEX. First, they “conveniently” lost it, then they have it waiting for him way the hell out by the Crystal Creek apartments and he’s gotta spend so much money on gas. I remember how I always had to go through the same old shit with food stamps, SS and SSI. Also, one person tells him one thing, while another person tells him something else. Is that familiar to me, or what? Well, I’m honestly glad that I’m not the breadwinner and driver of this household. Poor guy.

I got a really cool letter from Alex today. He’s now using AOL and says he bought his own computer. He says AOL has more deaf users. Tom suggested we try to get me in touch with deaf people that way. Anyway, where does Alex get the money to buy himself a computer?

The envelope and stationery he used were really cool. I’m gonna stick them both in my binder. The most impressive thing was the hands spelling out “Hi Jodi.” I want that and I must ask Tom where we can get the alphabet. I’m sure it can’t be that hard to find. If we’ve got smiley faces, Christmas stuff, and all kinds of other symbols like animals, flowers, etc., I’m sure we can find it. Maybe it’s something Alex can send just like we sent Tammy’s disks of games.

Later…

That was the best spaghetti I ever made! Yup, it definitely helps to get the water boiling first.

I called Tammy back, but she just got in and hasn’t seen the girls cuz she was with Bill.

She gave me a tip on making those baked potatoes. She said to not bother wrapping it in tin foil, but that it’d probably be an hour. She said to poke holes in them, rub oil on my hands, then on the potatoes.

Next time we talk, I’ll not only find out what’s up with Bill but also tell her about the fingerspelling on Alex’s letter.

Later…

Andy just called and I had to go take my second dump of the day.

Yesterday Tom finally got my door sanded. Not well enough, though, so he’ll have to do it some more. Most importantly, he put a vent in the lower part of the door for when the EC is on. This will make it so much more convenient. Now I don’t have to open that door.

Remember that old fashion, ugly New England-looking wall paneling that was in the kitchen? Well, this is what he’s been using to build the cigarette machine.

An idea came to mind for a magazine rack in the bathroom. Right now there’s a black satin bag nailed up that was a slip from an old “Stevie” dress Andy gave me. I asked him to cut me two pieces of wood that are 12 x 16 then a thicker piece that’s 2½ x 16, sand them smooth, and drill two holes up top of one of the 12 x 16 in the two top corners. Then I’ll nail it together and put contact paper on it.

Larry oughta get his edit tape today.

Later…

I sure got a lot done today! I surprised Tom with that magazine rack. However, this idiot forgot to put sides on it as well as to make the front lower so it’d be easier to put up. I tied yarn around it and made a tassel/bow in front. Instead of taping the yarn for extra security, I taped it with contact paper, rather than regular tape. That looks cool. Tom helped me get it up. It does look a lot nicer than that black bag I made.

I’m gonna try to get ahold of Larry on Sunday. That’ll give him the weekend to check out the edits.

Tom got me two new puzzle books today, as I’ll be done soon with the one I’ve got and still have to wait a month or so for the ones in the mail.

We also got soap refills of bubble gum and watermelon.

He picked out Dad’s birthday card which we’ll mail out tomorrow. I’ll be calling him on the 5th.

I finished typing 88, the second storybook. Tom has a total of 50 pages to read tomorrow.

Earlier we revised our list of stuff to do, make, and get.

Tom said he can find and download the sign fonts on AOL easily. He’ll also put Alex in my AOL “address book.”

THURSDAY, MARCH 30, 1995 Boy, am I both shocked and proud of myself! Yesterday I slept longer than life itself. Over 12 hours when I usually sleep 6-9. I was afraid I’d fuck my schedule up as much as I’m dying to get these bandages off and I will one way or another. I fell asleep last night from 3 AM - 6 AM and have been up since. I do intend to easily conk out, though, within the next few hours.

Got a Bob letter today.

I may have forgotten to say that I mentioned to Kim about my not hearing from Alex. When they recently ran into each other she thought he might have said something about going away for a while. Out of state for some kind of soccer competition.

If I had a million bucks I could bet it on the fact that Jenny C will also be hearing those edits. She’ll certainly have mixed emotions about them. It’ll bring back unwanted memories of me harassing her with some of them. She’ll probably also find them funny.

Due to my being married now, there are an awful lot of people between his family and mine. In his family, they don’t give presents for birthdays, anniversaries and stuff like that. Only for Christmas and only the parents give their kids presents. Therefore, I asked Tammy if we could do only cards for each other’s birthdays and anniversaries, but send whatever for Chanukah. She said that’d be fine. I mentioned this to my parents and I’m sure there’ll be no problem.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1995 Been busy with typing and stuff like that lately. I typed up 87 and I hope to get 88 done the day after tomorrow. Believe it or not, I’m gonna let Tom read what I’ve got typed up of my story so far. I’ve come quite a way since last April 13th when I began typing up all these journals.

Kim called earlier. Things are still great with this guy Doug who she’s been with for about a month now, I guess. He’s got our same sense of humor, naturally, otherwise she wouldn’t be with him.

He’s got a PO Box in CT where he’s from down in Vernon. He doesn’t know I live here, so as a joke I’m gonna mail him a wacky letter. Kim says she’ll certainly hear all about it.

Amazingly, Minnie’s been in touch with her. She’s thinking of taking her to see Bob, as they both want to. Especially Minnie who hasn’t seen him since he went into Walpole. That was before Concord and where he is now in Gardner.

We did some yard work around here today and we got the backyard looking a hell of a lot better.

I never paid attention before to notice, but Tom showed me that on the canister vacuum, you can also make it a blower if you move the hose to another hole. It’s not the most powerful thing, but it’s good enough. I blew off the cement around the pool as well as the patio.

A couple of nights ago at 9:30 ET, I called Larry. He was out, but Jenny answered. I spoke to her and Sandy. I let her know I was sending Larry something very wacky that wouldn’t make any sense. He’ll probably figure it out, though. I’m sending a tape of some edits. I’m sure he’ll be cracking up like crazy. He too has a weird sense of humor. Sandy will probably get a kick out of it, too. He should have it Friday. Also, Sandy told me Larry loves to get letters from me and that the last one was great. That’s cool to know.

What am I forgetting to mention now? I don’t know, but I’ll be back if I think of anything else.

Later…

I typed up Doug’s crazy letter for Kim which will go out tomorrow. He’ll probably get it Monday.

I forgot to mention that the kids next door have been a million times quieter. I am truly shocked. I just don’t believe it! I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s been great. I love it and I wish I sent that letter to them a long time ago. With them quieter, with not hearing their dog hardly ever, and with the music across the street long gone, it’s been wonderful. The most peaceful place I’ve ever lived. Also, this fan is a true gift from God that I could never and would never sleep without. Again it makes me wonder if I really want to fuck it all up with a baby. After it took so long to gain all this peace, little by little. Well, I still don’t think having a kid is in the cards with or without him cumming, so that’s the least of my worries.

Anyway, I believe I’ll go do some word puzzles for now. Did I mention that I sent Bob about 100 puzzles in a manila envelope? Yup, I did. He’ll be very pleased.

Wow, I just realized something. This journal should stretch to at least April 1st. That’ll make it the longest-running journal in quite a while. Lastly, I only have 2½ and a half more tapes to edit. That’s definitely it for now, but I’m sure that as soon as I put this book down, I’ll remember something else.

Later…

Yup, I did. It’s about Tammy. She told me something I wasn’t at all surprised to hear. Lisa and Jenny had made plans to get together, but Jenny’s been stalling, I guess. Tammy finally said that she told Lisa, “Hey, you called there twice. If they really want to, they’ll call you back.”

This is exactly what I thought would happen, though. Tammy says she hasn’t heard from Larry since he was there. I could see that he came here cuz he wanted to, but he went there only to make Mom and Dad happy. Especially dad. I really don’t think Tammy or Larry should even bother with one another, either over the phone or in person. It’s just not in Larry’s heart and Tammy only gets upset.

Anyway, I really wish to hell I could be there to see his reaction when he goes to play that edit tape. I wonder how much of it Sandy and the kids will hear? I can’t wait till we talk and to hear what he says about it. Also, about his trip to Tammy’s. I can just imagine what he’ll say about that, even though the only ones that I’ll tell are Tom and Andy.

MONDAY, MARCH 27, 1995 I’m going to be hibernating in my bedroom for a few more hours. This is because we’ve had a cool spell the last 3 days and we’ve already killed the pilots on the wall heaters. I now have the portable one on now in the bedroom. The good news, though, is that it’s supposed to hit 80º today and I don’t think it’ll get this cool again until next winter. The days have been fairly warm. Between 80º - 90º. It’s just that the last few days were only 70º - 75º and it got chilly at night. With Arizona being so dry, the 50s here feel much cooler than the 50s in MA.

Goldie called yesterday. I spoke to both her and Al and Tom talked to Goldie. They’re doing fine and are very happy about my surgery going a hell of a lot better than last time and that it’s pretty much over. All I have to deal with now are a few follow-ups and I can’t fucking wait to get this bandage off. It’s not that it’s painful or even that uncomfortable, it’s just itchy here and there. My arm’s itchy, too. If my scalp itches, I can’t scratch it for the most part as 80% of my scalp is covered.

Did I yet mention that Tom got his hair cut about a week ago? Although I like his hair longer better, it really doesn’t look bad at all. I was thinking he may end up looking rather geeky.

He tried to “shock” his system the other day. I had told him how I was almost starving myself for 3 days or so back in Sept. of ‘85 to lose weight. I told him how after trying so many hopeless and useless things, I had discovered the key to weight loss was in your metabolism. I stopped counting calories and believing it was what I ate as well as how much. I told him it takes several tries. I sure as hell had to try a million times before I could muster up enough will to eat only a few bites, drink liquids, and take vitamins. Especially when I did this at the time I was working at the Harley Hotel in Enfield, CT with all that free delicious food for lunch.

Anyway, I’m bigger than I have been in a while and am sick of the bulk of my favorite clothes being too tight, so I’m gonna “shock” my system for a couple of days or so. The thing of it is, though, believe it or not, it’s sometimes easier to lose and keep off a lot of weight than it is to do so with 5-10 pounds. What the scale says, though, is irrelevant; it’s what the measurements say. Mine could afford to drop 2-3 inches. Tom, who tells me I look fine, says I’m already too light to lose more weight. I can only tone and try to change my shape and the answer to that is exercise. Perhaps he’s right. However, we can’t change our shapes. We can only control it and alter it a bit, but I cannot exercise now anyway. My upper body is still firm, but my lower could definitely use some tightening up.

I suppose most people would tell themselves not to bother if they’re gonna try getting pregnant in the next few months, but you know I can’t believe, think, or live that way. I work with and make do with what’s happening today and I don’t count on nothing. Especially something as incredible as my getting pregnant. Incredible seeming, that is.

I was going to try to coax back my sixth sense, but it just has never been the same since being out here. Who knows if it’ll ever be like it used to be in the future? Especially when I never asked for it in the first place. Perhaps I’ll always have a little more of it than the average person, though. In my opinion, it was my compensation for getting here and getting what I’ve gotten here. If I’m right, then that’s a fine trade-off as far as I’m concerned. Something far more important could’ve been taken away from me instead. The sense of me getting pregnant in April and in the next journal is dwindling. It’s slowly fading, but June is, well, I’m not so sure yet. Regardless of whether or not I’m sterile, I still say that if Tom doesn’t cum by mid-late June or so, he never will. He still continues to talk more sure of and positive about a baby and has always, and still is dropping hints about getting pregnant in June. Well, since I’ve known him he’s been 98% right about lots of things, so we’ll have to wait and see.

There’s still a small part of me that cringes with fear and doubt over the thought of a kid. I wish I could know for sure just how it’d be for both of us. Well, I do believe strongly enough that whatever’s up there has no plans for me to die in the next 10-15 years, so if it truly is a death sentence for me, then it will make sure I’m sterile or that he never ever cums. If I have one and it kills me, then so much for that 10-15 year feeling of life. If I still have one and am miserable or it ruins our marriage, then maybe it wants me cursed and miserable again. I’ll have no idea until and if anything happens. At least all-out suffering and misery are what I feel is the least likely. Otherwise, I’d never have gotten to Arizona. Or if I did, my life here would’ve been made as shitty as in S. Deerfield or even Norwich.

SUNDAY, MARCH 26, 1995 I’m in quite a good mood today. The only negative things I’m feeling are my ear and arm itching. Also, I have to take Ibuprofen every day till I get these bandages off and can let my hair down. With the weight of my hair having to be up all the time, that does cause headaches. It’s not that long anymore; it’s cuz of its thickness. Having these bandages on for two weeks may make it grow a bit faster.

Tom helped me (cuz I’m such a lousy counter) to mark the week before my period so I remember to take water pills before it’s too late and I get so uncomfortable. I did April and May and when I began to do June he was like, oh, no, no, don’t jump ahead. Another hint about his liking the idea of me getting pregnant in June. Whatever month, I’ll still have to see it to believe it, cuz that’s just how I am over some things.

We screwed earlier which was fun. I came, but not surprisingly, he didn’t.

I did some housecleaning today. I dusted and vacuumed. Tom got this really good and powerful all-purpose cleaner. I cleaned the grease stains off the kitchen walls. Tomorrow I’ll do the bathroom and kitchen cabinets. Also, the laundry.

I finished typing 69 and currently only have 5 more regular journals to type up. However, I’m gonna take a break from typing journals to type up my story.

Sadly, the fluorescent bulb we got to use in the back room by the computer is defective. We tossed out its receipt and warranty, so we’ll have to get another one. They’re about 15 bucks, but they last for 6-7 years or so.

FRIDAY, MARCH 24, 1995 Damn, I haven’t done a #2 since the day before the surgery. Is it gonna be like the last time? I hope to hell I’m not constipated for a week like before, then have the runs and massive stomach pains.

I made another bracelet out of macramé. I’m starving and am now making a TV dinner.

I’m surprised Andy hasn’t called yet. Bob really gets on my nerves here and there, but I’ll discuss it after I eat.

Later…

I told Bob not to write little messages or poems on his envelopes. They’re really quite embarrassing and it’s no one else’s business what he’s got to tell me. He said he wouldn’t, but the stupid ass goes and does it twice. He just doesn’t get it and he’s just getting to be more and more boring, corny, with the same old shit to say. I’m thinking of dumping him more and more these days.

I’ve sent him a few word-find puzzles I don’t really like and he likes them a lot. In a manila envelope, I’m gonna send a few I keep with a certain type of print I don’t really care for, and a letter giving him a piece of my mind for the last time.

It’s hard to keep my mouth shut about my desires and fears of having a child. At the same time, though, I don’t want Tom to feel pressured. Why do I still want something I probably can’t have? Especially something that could very well kill me and our marriage. Something I couldn’t handle physically and mentally. Me and others thought I could never handle a relationship, but what if Tammy’s right and my worst fears of having a kid do come true? It seems like it should be much easier for me to never have a child and I’m sure that’s true, but it sure doesn’t always feel easier. I really hope that if I am sterile and if Tom never cums that the definite and potential negatives to having a kid will be enough to drive that desire away.

For about the 8th time I prayed to God to allow me to become pregnant as soon as can be and let us be the best parents we can possibly be and still have a wonderful marriage. If it’s not in my cards, please allow me to deal with and accept it better and help me through that.

I told Tom yesterday that my feeling of conceiving in April was fading, but June was a little stronger as far as a feeling about that. His reaction didn’t surprise me due to comments he’s made in the past. He said June was a good month to get pregnant cuz it’s cooler by the time you’re big. And something about being married at least a year before getting pregnant and it being born in 1996.

Anyway, there are 3 things I have a hard time believing him about. In all other areas, he’s always been 100% honest as far as I’m concerned and could always see and sense. Again those 3 things are:

How he claims Kim and all of us woke him up.

He’s always gonna be cumming “real soon” or “any time now” (I believe him when he says he always gets close by how hard he gets). Then he slows down and pulls himself out as if to keep from cumming. I’m not a guy, but I don’t know for sure, as weird as this sounds. He says he cums by going really slow so he can feel every movement thoroughly and really take in the feeling.

He says I’ll be pregnant soon and soon in his book he says means anywhere from now to 6 months with 2 or 3 being more likely. I don’t know about this cuz first he said I’d probably have one in November, then that became December.

After a cigarette, I’ll discuss my two worst fears, although they are thankfully doubtful.

Later…

I’ve finally been blessed with being able to take a normal shit. A small one, though, so I know I need to catch up.

Anyway, about these fears that are doubtful. I mentioned before my fear of Tom not really wanting a kid, but just saying he does to make me happy. When we first met he did say he could live with or without a kid and would agree to have one if his wife (not knowing I’d be his wife at the time) wanted one.

He’s expressed more of a desire to as time’s gone on, but from oh, say, when we met till up to 4-5 months ago, he’s said comments suggesting it’s not what he wants. Comments like: Jodi, you’re not going to have a child. I like things the way they are. I don’t know if it’s what I want. I’m so busy, I don’t know if I want the responsibility. I never sensed you’d have kids. I don’t think it’s what you really want. Not everyone in the world can have kids, etc.

I believe he’s trying to get me to be more patient by putting off stuff, even though I tell him I consider it eager, ambitious and motivated, but how do I know for sure that some other woman or person didn’t really hurt him in ways he’s never said? Like promised him something they never gave him and he wants to “even the score?” I highly doubt this, but that’d be nearly as bad as being sterile for sure or him never cumming if he’s planning on always and knowingly doing all he can do to keep me from getting pregnant. I would be very resentful if I ever found out for sure or got highly suspicious of him trying to keep us forever childless. It’d be bad and unfortunate if he said he didn’t want one or if I am sterile, but that’s very different than having someone knowingly and intentionally playing around with a serious issue with you and your head. Well, I’m still 99.9% sure he’s not a Scott M so that’s good.

Can’t wait till I get these bandages removed on April 4th. They’re not nearly as uncomfortable as the ones in Boston, but it’s not heaven, either. I do have some itches here and there.

I took the small wimpy headphones that go to the Walkman to use in my box. With these, I can adjust it so the left side is in the back of my head away from that ear while the good side is right on my ear. I can’t do that with my big kick-ass ones. They sound lousy, but it’ll do for now. Tom doesn’t mind if I play the box while he sleeps cuz he is a heavy sleeper, but occasionally I do like headphones anyway. I only like to blast it in the daytime. You see, I couldn’t give a shit or care less if I woke them up next door at 3 AM. I just don’t want to disturb any other people around here that never have been rude and disrespectful to my peace and quiet. I suppose, though, I should forget about others and just live my own life as everyone else does. People go about their business, doing whatever it is they do at all hours of the morning, afternoon, evening, and very late at night.

I sure wrote way more than I expected to tonight, but I really enjoyed it. It’s great to write out new things as well as stuff I’ve mentioned a million times over and get it all out. Tom has never ever discouraged me from talking to him. It’s just that I don’t want him to feel pressured or burdened and he isn’t here and awake 24 hours a day.

THURSDAY, MARCH 23, 1995 I said to Tom that I thought this would be the last story I write. He disagreed, so we’ll see. He’s almost always right.

As far as him being right about my being pregnant soon? I just can’t see it. He still insists he’s not holding back, as far as his not cumming. Whether he really is or not, I just can’t see him magically cumming one day soon or ever, after not doing so with me for so long.

I’ve heard different stories as far as the odds of conceiving without the guy cumming. Some say it’s one in millions. Others say one’s bound to make it up there eventually, but will just take longer.

Since I’ve known Tom he’s been 100% honest with me except for two things as far as I’m concerned. About Kim, Phil, Alex and I waking him up, and also when he says he isn’t holding back. I once made the comment to him that he could cum whenever he wanted to. He said he agreed. There have also been other statements made that tells me he’s holding back, too. I really do believe his desire to have a kid, though, so my first guess is that he was holding out till now till about June.

The second theory is that deep down he really doesn’t want one and is just a damn good actor. A better actor than I could ever have imagined. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens by the end of June. If I’m not pregnant by July or so, then I’m really gonna put some very serious thought into a hysterectomy. Cuz at that point whether I wanted a kid or not, was sterile or not, what will be the point of dealing with periods till I’m in my 50s?

He’s been acting like things will change, saying all we want is right there ready to be taken and had, but we’ll see. He’s been saying he was gonna cum every month since we began having sex. The bottom line is that we’ll still love each other just as much with no kid. Probably more so, cuz we won’t have it to take our time away from each other and fight over it.

The only thing I’d be disappointed about is if he never admitted he was holding back or did have something wrong with him should many more months go by before I got pregnant or if I never did. More so if he blamed me for it after he says it’s not my fault. Believe me, I haven’t blamed myself in a very long time, cuz I know he can cum by me as easily as I can by him. I also think he may enjoy the feeling of a hard-on more so than of an orgasm. This is weird and would drive me crazy with the frustration of needing to be relieved but to each their own.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 1995 Tom bought me 3 of my favorite pens today in black, blue and red, so I thought I’d start off with the black one.

As I said before, God doesn’t have great timing with everyone’s life events, otherwise teenagers wouldn’t get pregnant, but he sure does with me. My period held off till last night.

They weighed me as 102 in the hospital, but I’m sure I’m now 98-100. The first time I was operated on last December, I weighed 104.

I still haven’t had to take a pain pill. I’ve been up and about as usual. The only thing I can’t do is wear my headphones, so I just sit by the boom box as the last time.

Again it scares me and pisses me off to think - what if I never met Tom? Would Medicaid or Medicare have done a damn thing about my needing to take care of this?

No.

Mom and Dad called about an hour ago. Dad started off really loud saying, “Jodi Lin! Can you hear me?”

I told him how easy this one went and they thanked Tom for calling them yesterday at the hospital. He called Tammy, too. I tried to call her but got no answer. Things aren’t going well with Bill, Tammy told Tom.

Later…

Andy and I left messages for each other yesterday. He’s doing fine.

Tom also got me a couple of word find magazines and soon I’ll be getting them by mail. Every 3 weeks, 17 a year for $16.25.

I finally have all the journals that I’ve typed up on the computer on the main hard drive (C drive).

TUESDAY, MARCH 21, 1995 Back again after doing some editing.

I ate for the last time at 11:45. I did the dishes, polished my disgusting-looking nails, and made up a bag with extra clothes in case of an emergency.

Got a letter from Bob today. Nothing’s new with him.

Guess who else is having surgery today? Andy. Yup, he’s having a root canal done. At least I think that’s what it is. Anyway, he won’t be put out; just given Novocain like I was when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. He’s having all 4 of his wisdom teeth pulled.

Later…

I just got off the phone with Andy who’s quite nervous about his appointment tomorrow. We laughed about all kinds of things which helped to keep our minds off our surgery for a while. He called Karson, who only knows me as Mystery. She and Andy have never met in person, but Andy sure was right about one thing. This 22-year-old naïve girl is one fucked up puppy. She’s a total combination of Fran, Nervous, and Ellie. I read bits and pieces of an old journal and she totally believed everything I said. You can be so abusive to her and call her every name in the book. When I said she had a warrant out for her arrest she completely believed it and even called the police dept. to ask.

The 3 of us definitely have to talk more and I’m gonna record it. She’s great editing material. Andy says she’s home and up all the time and with her around, he never feels the need or urge to make prank calls.

Did I mention the letter I got two days ago from Larry? It shocked the shit out of me. I certainly never expected it. They just got a new computer, so that’s why. He said it’s because he hates writing. It was done on one piece of paper with an advertisement on it for Alpo cat food. He used 4 or 5 different fonts which we also have. He put in a funny joke which reminds me - sometime I’ll have to write down all the jokes I know. It’d be nice to have them all grouped together. He also wrote how when he was at Tammy’s he went to the bathroom, made coffee, and jogged around the block and she was still talking!

Ha, ha, get it?

So, I wrote back that I called her, put the phone down, gave Tom a long kiss, went for a swim, out cruising with Andy, came back and she was still talking! Tom thought it was pretty funny.

Alex must’ve broken up with Chrissy cuz I haven’t gotten any email from him lately.

Gotta go pee, then when I return I’ll mention a new type of journal I may get soon.

Later…

Oh, fuck! I’m really pissed cuz I am soooo damn hungry. I’ll just have to drink a real lot soon and hope that’ll help.

I did do some editing as I was gonna say earlier before Andy called, but I’d like to save the rest for when I’m once again hearing out of two ears.

When I was last out buying journals, I saw some that were about double the size of this one. I’ve seen them several times. Well, it may look funny on my shelves with all the others, but I’d like to get one. Its cover may be just like one of my marble covers, but oh well if it’s like one I already have cuz these sizes aren’t as common as this book I’m writing in. It’ll take quite a while to go through, but I want it for the sake of something different.

I have no regrets about recopying and ditching those 4 small ones I once had, though. Those go way too fast and are a real bitch to write in.

I hear Tom snoring a lot less, so I hope his new contour pillow really does help him.

Later…

Yay!!! It’s over!!! Boy, was this operation a piece of cake compared to the last one. I mean, the difference between this operation and the last one is the difference between night and day. The only thing that was a bitch was the waiting time. They drew blood there, cuz I didn’t have it drawn before. Waking up was easier than I thought it’d be, just as Tom said.

I do have bandages all over my head as I had in Boston, but the good news is that they don’t go under my neck. That was incredibly itchy. He had to do that, though, since there’s no frame to tape bandages to.

I can only imagine how hideous it must look, but I needed that frame taken out. Thank God it’s gone!

Tom got prescription painkillers and can you believe I haven’t had to take even one of them?! My ear and skin graft on my arm are virtually painless. It’s nice to be able to move my jaw to talk and eat since he didn’t have to take any muscle from it. Also, no strap so tight it feels like my skull’s gonna burst.

Before surgery, I told Dr. Nielsen to send my frame to Boston. He said, “Oh, I’d like to do that and tell them to bury it in their graveyard.”

I never saw Dr. Joganic.

Tom called Mom, Dad, and Tammy.

I’ve got more to say, but I’ll be writing on and off as things come to me.

MONDAY, MARCH 20, 1995 Well, it’s the eve of my surgery. I’m gonna be rather brief cuz I want to do some editing since I can’t for a while.

I slept from 7 AM - 11 AM and was very, very tired when Tom got me up. After my noon appointment with Dr. Nielsen, I came home and went right back to bed and slept from 2 PM - 6 PM. The appointment took forever cuz I was exhausted. If I had been awake, it would’ve gone real quick. The anesthesiologist called tonight wanting general information. It’s a male this time. This time around I was told that I can drink liquids after midnight, but I can’t eat.

Well, there’s more I could write about, but I think I’ll save it for later or after the surgery.

SUNDAY, MARCH 19, 1995 Today I slept from around 10 AM - 4 PM. Tomorrow’s my noon pre-op appointment. I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna have the strength to get there, but Tom confidently said there’d be no problem. He’s always right, thank God.

I finished one of the teddy bear puzzles yesterday. Then, I flipped it over, put duct tape on the back of it, and hung it on the wall. I want to do the same thing with the other teddy bear one which I’m halfway through with but don’t know how I’m gonna flip this one as easily cuz the pieces aren’t quite as tight.

FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 1995 Yesterday Tom showed me how to index disks in numerical order on the computer. It was really easy and I did 207 of them. About 20 of them crashed and I had to reset the computer cuz they were old, low-density disks.

Last night Andy and I went to the mountain for an hour and a half. On our way back we stopped at a drive-through and he treated me to an order of fries.

I brought him his taxes which Tom did yesterday. He asked what he should do for Tom. I know he can’t really afford to give him $20 as he suggested to him over the phone, so I suggested a thank you card. He can write some of our famous wacky lines, too. He also told me he has some friends who would really love the edits, so I gave him 10 tapes of one of the sets of backups. We played a few last night in his car. He says he’s gonna go through all of them just in case there’s anything he doesn’t want anyone else to hear.

As of yesterday, he’s been here for 4 years. I’m next on June 9th with my third anniversary.

All’s fine with Tom and me. There are only two things I wish Tom would improve on. I wish he wouldn’t be such a procrastinator. I wish he’d follow through with the projects he gets started on. Yesterday he said he was gonna strip the two chairs outside. He began one of them, but I know he’s gonna take forever to do them.

I also wish he’d pick up after himself a little more. One thing’s for sure and that is that I’m not straightening up the back room anymore, cuz he just turns right around and trashes it.

Later…

I talked with Tom who kindly straightened up the papers on the desk we both use.

Apparently, he flew out of here in a hurry cuz AMEX was jerking him around as far as his check goes. They were supposed to direct deposit it. Instead, they sent it to the Crystal Creek Apts.

Yesterday I got another library book that should be similar to the one I just finished.

We screwed around earlier. With no KY jelly, he was able to get in there quickly and easily with no pain or discomfort felt by me. I sure have “come” a long way. It felt like he was close to cumming. That’s what he said, but he always says that.

He seems to want a kid more and more, and more than once he said, “You’ll be pregnant soon.” I still have to see this to believe it, but right now my feeling is that if he doesn’t cum within a month after the surgery or so, then he definitely never will. What will I think then if that is the case? That he really wasn’t serious about a kid or he’s got a problem he just won’t own up to. I know how sensitive he can be at times.

Next door, amazingly, has been quieter. See? I knew there was no excuse for the way they could get at times and that those kids were controllable.

I made Tom a macramé bracelet in blue and white. I’m making some for me, using a few different color combinations. I have a double-stranded one. One side has black, maroon, purple, pink and white. The other has yellow, orange, red, green and blue.

I’m typing up 68 now and that’ll be done either tonight or tomorrow. Chow for now.

TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 1995 Boy, have we been busy these last few days. Things have been great, though.

It’s been very quiet next door. If it’s a coincidence or not, it remains to be seen.

Tammy left a message earlier saying that Bill’s responding well to his treatment so far.

I finished my library book two days ago. It was a good horror story.

Later…

I’ve done a lot so far with my remixing the edit tapes. I took my old tape recorder that allows me to fast forward/rewind with the play button down and I typed the edits on 3 different tapes. I did this cuz I had some of the same edits on a couple of tapes. It was really wild and cool to see my edits printed out so nicely. In fact, when I’m done remixing all of them, I may print them all out. It’ll be so cool to have every single edit printed out.

Also, when I was screening through tapes and I came upon some edits I thought I may have already typed up that were already on another tape, I could use the search thing on the computer. You type in the sentence or a few words of it and it’ll find it for you by highlighting it.

After I get done remixing and cutting down all my edits cuz they’re too long, I should have about 3 or 4 90-min. tapes. I no longer wish to use other people’s tapes. I’ll also have two sets of backups. I put a copy (10 tapes) in the living room table’s drawer and the other one (6 tapes) will stay with all my other tapes. I’ve already cut two tapes and I have 5 more to cut, but it doesn’t take as long as I thought it’d all take to do. Not that it really mattered anyway.

Later I’ll write in all my file names, excluding journals and drawings. I sure do have a lot of them at this time. Lots of them are stuff I’ve typed up for Tom, too. I have a few hundred files in my directory.

I put the glow-in-the-dark stickers I got from my TV dinner inside the front cover of this book. They don’t stick very well, though, so who knows how long they’ll last?

Andy left me a message the other day and told me to listen to his second message. It was from Donna. She’s also from Springfield, and Fran had her grandmother’s number which he’d constantly call while she was visiting there a couple of summers ago. Well, he’s been calling there again and Andy wanted my advice on the situation. All I could say was for her to either change her number or just hang up on him. He’s bound to try calling here and there, just as he’ll probably try here again someday. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s trying to look up and call all those with my maiden name in the Springfield area, but I don’t give a shit if he does.

I sure do have a lot of files on the computer. About a few hundred. There are lots of files I’ve typed up for Tom, too. I learned how to change the name of a file.

Now for what we got when we went out shopping today. Well, our tax return check came today for $330, so we decided to pick up a few things we wanted and needed. This is my first tax return since ‘86 and it was neat to see that it was sent from San Francisco, rather than from Boston.

Tom got one of those contour pillows, designed to support your neck and most importantly decrease snoring.

He looked around in computer stores, but couldn’t find anything too interesting or affordable.

He wants to get this thing that’s kind of like a chest tripod where you can rest and support a camcorder on your chest while filming. It’d be easier to carry it around too, around his neck, rather than to carry it even though it’s not too big.

We’re also gonna look for a new car windshield shade sometime, as well as more binders and computer paper that’s more stylish.

I didn’t find any word search puzzle books today, but I sure found where to get figurines. A store called Michael’s has lots of really nice ones. While I was there, though, I got some more silk flowers.

At the Old America art store, I got my second dog mug, an Irish Setter.

We went to a bookstore that we’d never been in before and they had a pretty decent journal selection. I got two of them and now I have a total of 91.

We went to a buffet for lunch and to Walmart where we got several things. An awesome fluorescent light for by the computer that doesn’t give off heat. The light is so much more natural too, and this bulb will last for years. We’re going to replace all our lights with bulbs like that.

I got two new pairs of French-cut silk-like panties. One’s purple and the other’s maroon. I ditched two more pairs that didn’t fit or that were old and worn out. I got a package of suede barrettes in different colors like blue, black, white, yellow, red, purple, pink, and sea green. I got 3 new headbands. I had plastic ones, but they could dig into me and get uncomfortable so I got cloth-covered ones in black, white, and purple. I got red nail polish, and lastly, two new 500-piece puzzles. They’re quite cute too. They’re teddy bears. One’s with two teddy bears at a picnic with bowls of strawberries. The other has lace and flowers surrounding them. Later I’ll write an idea I had for the puzzles as well as for flower arranging.

So much for Tom not snoring with this new pillow. I can hear him now.

SATURDAY, MARCH 11, 1995 I have only one more chapter in my library book.

We had a storm today, but it wasn’t much of a big deal. It’s still windy out and a bit chilly, but it’s not raining. Still, I doubt there’ll be any street parties today.

I haven’t heard much from next door, but last night at 10 PM as I was falling asleep, he started to get weird on me with that van over there. He came in at 10:00, shut the van off, got out, then came back and turned it on again. After 2-3 minutes of it running, I figured why bother to wait and see if he let it run for a half-hour or so, so I turned my fan up from medium to high.

Last night I thought I was coming down with a cold. I was sneezing and had a sore throat. Luckily it was only allergies, cuz when I got up I was perfectly fine.

Tom’s working on the cigarette machine now.

We screwed earlier. He wants to screw more and more and he really does want a kid from what he tells me. Oh, Tom. You’re gonna have to cum, though. You’re just gonna have to cum. If that’s what you really want, you’re gonna have to cum.

I began a major project today. It should not take too long to do, but I’m re-editing my 8 edit tapes. There are too many reps on each edit. It gets boring, as funny as they are when they’re each too long. Anyway, I’ve begun to go through and cut them shorter. So far, one whole side of a 90-minute tape has been cut to half a side of a 90-min.

FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 1995 I just finished typing/printing journal 67. I also typed the letter I got yesterday from Kim. Later on today, I may begin letters to Kim, Bob, and my parents.

Can you believe I did not wake up till 5 AM? Yesterday I was up for nearly 20 hours. I never even woke up to go to the bathroom. I weigh 98 pounds too, surprisingly.

When I was writing all about our trip to Vegas and our wedding, I noticed I forgot to mention something. A few days before we were to leave for Vegas, we got rings. His is a size 10 which they had available for him that day. The closest size they had that’d fit me at the time was a 6. They could not get my size before we left, so I had to get it when we came back. At first, I thought a 4¼ would fit just fine, but I had to end up getting a 4½.

Andy hopes to be able to pick up his VCR today. I’m gonna tape his soaps for him again today, for the third day.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this or not, but I rearranged the bedroom walls. You know those plastic-covered pieces of cardboard you stick pictures into photo albums? Well, I took about 9 of them, tore the plastic off and taped pictures onto them. Then, I taped that onto the walls. I did this to protect the pictures and make it easier for me to rearrange them. It’s easier to remove a sturdy piece of cardboard off the walls than the actual pictures themselves which rip a lot easier.

Later…

I thought I heard something from next door yesterday, but couldn’t be too sure cuz I had the fan on. I asked Tom if he heard any wild street parties and he said he only heard them out front for an instant. That was in the late afternoon. It’s a bit chilly till then, but as soon as that sun’s raced around to the front, they race out there. A month from now when it’s warm all day is when I usually hear them on and off all day and they move to the back. If I’m right in my theory about them not giving a shit, then it’s gonna be really fucking noisy out front from about 3:00 - 6:00. It’s to be 80º today.

Later…

Tom’s home now and he’s on the phone now talking with Eldon.

Today was his last day at AMEX. He found out today he’s eligible for unemployment.

Amazingly enough, when he came home, shortly after noon, he said he saw the woman next door leaving. He couldn’t tell if anyone else was with her or not. I can almost bet you that the reason she left, though, was to go to her GYN for her fucking 6th kid that’s on its way, no doubt.

Later…

They just came back next door, but I got a few hours till party time.

It’s hot out there now and I’ve got the EC on now bringing in the fresh air.

Tom and I were just talking about how things were going great now and how we’re in a great position to start the business and have a kid. He’s gonna be sleeping with me more often to make that easier and more possible.

THURSDAY, MARCH 9, 1995 Yesterday they should’ve gotten my letter. They didn’t call or come running over about it, which I’m not surprised about. It’s been peaceful for nearly a week, but I will be surprised if it stays that way. Anyway, they’re quiet a little more than half of the time. Hopefully, it’ll be almost all of the time from now on.

Yesterday I finished my third book on my current story (89). For now, I’ll keep on typing up and printing out story drafts like I normally do but will copy it in when I get a new journal for it which will be 90.

Later…

I am sitting outside now. Boy, is this journal bright in the sunlight! I came out here cuz I couldn’t fall asleep yet. I got up last night at 12:30, so in a few hours, I oughta be asleep.

It’s that time of year now when I have to keep checking the pool which I’m right by for bees. At least they’re not here every other second yet. Not till it gets really hot.

It’s a beautiful day today. Around 75º. The sun’s warm, but it’s breezy. It’s supposed to be in the mid-upper 70s through till Mon. We’re in for some showers and T-storms this weekend too, I hear.

Not a peep from next door, but at this time of year, it’s still a bit early for them. This weekend will be more of a true test. I just may not be awake to test most of the day. At this point, I don’t think they give a shit till and if I see differently. That time I told Dean that I was sorry for going off on his wife when they were moving in, he said he understood. Well, if he understood, then why was it such a circus over there for several more days after I gave a piece of my mind?

That black and white cat I call Oreo just crossed through the yard.

God, it’s getting hot now. I better go in.

TUESDAY, MARCH 7, 1995 I just talked to Andy a little while ago. He sent me an 8-page letter he got last September from his part-time boyfriend in Tucson. He also sent some Gloria pictures and two articles about thousands of prank calls made in Japan. Lastly, he sent 3 pictures. One of him here in Arizona, one of his old apartment building on Belmont Ave. back east, and one of my old apartment building on Woodside Terrace.

Later…

Wow! I actually fell asleep for 2½ hours or so after I last wrote. That’s unusual for me. Especially cuz I slept from about noon yesterday till 9 PM. Once again, maybe something is preparing me to be a day person for something other than the business. For the business, it won’t matter what time I work as long as I get done whatever work needs to be done.

Yesterday while I slept Tom went over to try to fix Andy’s VCR. It’s hopeless, so now I’m stuck taping his shows for a few days. It’s a pain, but I can’t turn a friend down.

Despite Andy’s soaps, there are 3 good movies on tonight. Why is it that there are always so many good things on at once? Well, there are only two VCRs here, not 3, so I’ll have to pick out the two I want to record.

The Gloria pictures he sent are not appealing at all, so I’ll put some in NPN envelopes and mail some to Bob. Bob will probably try to draw them. He sent a letter today with a Gloria drawing. It came out well.

After I show Tom the two prank phone call articles from Tokyo, I’ll probably mail them to Kim.

I saw the interview with Gloria who had 5 male impersonators doing a video for her at the time her baby was due. It was pretty interesting to see, but she looked terrible. Her hair was gross and she looked tired, older, and fatter.

Andy’s letter from Chris will be tossed in an NPN envelope.

When I saw the picture of the old Woodside place, I felt two emotions. First I cringed due to all the painful memories that go with that place. Then I laughed to myself, knowing never ever again will I ever have to live there again or live that kind of a life again! I would take a screaming crying baby to listen to 24 hours a day before I ever lived back east again, alone, or had any part of my old life back again.

Later…

Tom’s at work now and I’m just hanging out doing this and that today.

Tom said he no longer wants to put stuff off that needs to be done, which he said he’d do. That’s cool.

I called Tammy. Bill’s been in the hospital now for two months. She said that last night if she’d had a gun, she would’ve shot herself. Did I ever know that feeling oh so well for so many years?!

I redid my bedroom walls and printed out an updated journal chart.

Today I’m sending the letter next door. They should get it tomorrow. The last few days have been very quiet, but we’ll see how things go in time.

I also finished 66 and am now working on 67.

SUNDAY, MARCH 5, 1995 Yesterday Tom trimmed 3” from my hair. I hated to do it, but it was so dead, and really needed it. Every 6 weeks I’ll have him trim a quarter of an inch.

I’m gonna be mailing them a letter next door. It’s brief and friendly, but blunt. I know them. Their kids are gonna scream up a storm nearly every day till June. Then in the fall it’ll start back up again and die down from November to February. I ain’t putting up with it. It’s that plain and simple. I was here first, not that that should matter when it comes to other people forcing their noise on you. Fair is fair, so I enclosed this number in case my music got loud, but I’m pretty positive they can’t hear it anyway. I told them briefly about my ear, ear surgery, and why certain sounds register differently within me. While they do sound like nice people from what little contact we’ve had, I doubt they give a shit. It’s been obvious enough that they have no respect for those around them, but we’ll see. It’s that time of year where from about 8:30 AM - 7 PM I’ll hear them on and off mostly in the back. If I don’t notice any difference, then I’ll do everything I can think of to go out of my way to be heard over here. I don’t think it’ll make a bit of difference over 5 screaming kids, but I’ll think of something. I feel that if they respond to my request, God will do something else to me, but it’s a chance I’ll take. I just wish I knew what God’s message was in all this. There are only one or two other houses on this street with little kids, so why me? It doesn’t make me want my own any less, but I sure am sick of other people’s kids. My attitude’s still the same - if I’m not gonna hear my own someday, then I don’t want to hear nobody else’s.

Later…

I talked to Andy for quite a while. He said he was going through his stuff and cleaning when he came across a bag with tons of NPN cards I’d given him eons ago. Neither of us cares for or wants them; only envelopes. Then he said he came across 1 NPN envelope that he thought was his and opened it. Instead, it was an old draft of the journal subindex I had begun in ‘92. I did journals 1-22. He said he had hoped I wouldn’t be mad that he read it, I wrote nothing that made me look bad or that I should be embarrassed about, and was totally fascinated by it and how much I write.

I pulled out 16 and read him the note he gave me as he brought me to the airport to go to Florida. This was in late 1989 when I went for my 24th birthday. I also read him the letter I had him write and send to Jenny C. This was after our day in court when he was here and I was living in S. Deerfield.

I wish Tom wasn’t such a procrastinator. He said he was gonna call about stuff we ordered and never got. I can bet you that if I never remind him of it, he’ll never call. He may be busy and not feel well here and there, but there are just too many things he puts off. I really, really believe he’s trying to force patience into me. He denies that, but it does make me wonder. I don’t consider myself impatient, though. Just someone who likes to get stuff done. I also think he’s obsessed with me taking care of stuff he knowingly drops or rearranges. Other than that all is fine.

SATURDAY, MARCH 4, 1995 Yesterday we bombed this place. We left at 5 AM and drove around through PHX, Tempe, and Scottsdale for two hours till we returned at 7 AM. Naturally, we took Piggles with us.

FRIDAY, MARCH 3, 1995 Again, not much has happened. I did finish printing out 64 today. Also, after I worked out I accidentally smashed my can of marshmallow spread all over the kitchen floor.

THURSDAY, MARCH 2, 1995 Not much has happened in the last few days. Today’s appointment went well. The good news is that there should only be about 4 follow-up appointments after surgery, then I won’t have to see him for 6 months to a year.

After all the ear stuff is out of the way. I’ll hardly ever have doctor appointments. Especially since I’ll never have a kid. Knowing I’ll never have a kid is one thing. Accepting it is another. I’m sure I will in time. Once I see that Tom still doesn’t cum after he’s changed jobs, we’re in business, and my ear stuff’s over with, it’ll really sink in. The part about it that I’m grateful for is that if we did have a kid, I know I’ll be missing this life so badly. I don’t understand how I could want to put myself through such shit physically, mentally, and financially, and put our marriage in jeopardy. I’m sure I’ll come to my senses soon enough. There were other things I used to want for quite a while that I no longer want, so my feelings will change for the better if they don’t diminish completely.

Got other things to do, so I’ll write later.

[abdanisnotonfire]

CHAPTER EIGHT

CW// Underage drug use

As soon as Brooklyn got home, she put the baggie underneath some clothes in her closet, and she erased the texts between her and Sam. It wasn't her first time buying weed, but it was one of the first times she felt truly guilty for doing so.

She could rationalize all the reasons she used it to cope, but those issues no longer presented themselves. She was laid across her bed when a knock on her door startled her to an upright position.

The door opened meekly, as Phil's head popped around the corner. "Can I come in?" he asked, opening the door more. "Sure, I guess," Brook replied, pushing herself to the head of the bed as an invitation.

"I know we've already talked about this" Phil began, pausing to sit on the edge of the bed "But your school starts next week, so we'll have to get uniforms after your doctor's appointment tomorrow"

Brook let out a groan, unsure about which sounded worse. The doctor's appointment? Or being the new kid at school.

"I know, I know. but hey, you'll be able to make a lot of new friends! and think of the classes you'll like?" Phil's optimism was nice, but it didn't help Brooklyn this time. "Yeah, I guess. I just hate being the new kid."

There was a silent moment between the two, Phil making eye contact with Brook occasionally. Finally, the man spoke. "Do... do you want a therapist?" he queried, looking around Brooklyn's room. "No! I- I mean- Maybe? I don't know!"

A thousand thoughts raced through the young girl's head, namely the trouble she'd be in with her parents if her therapist had to report any illegal activity... but that was why she needed a therapist.

She KNEW she needed a therapist, there was no question about it. The question was when.

"I know I need one, I just-- I don't know if I'm ready"

Phil nodded, another sad look in his eye. He had his own experiences with therapists, and he also understood that he couldn't begin to comprehend what Brooklyn was going through. She had been through enough trauma for a lifetime, and then some.

It was difficult. Getting into therapy after school would THEORETICALLY be better , Brook thought, imagining a stable routine implementing itself.

The man finally broke the silence, patting his hand on the bed. "In the meantime, we need to go supplies shopping. I thought, maybe, you and Dan could do that and I could get your uniforms."

Brooklyn nodded quickly, accepting any excuse to end the conversation.

"Do you think I could meet up with an old friend later?" the girl quickly added, a hint of doubt in her voice.

She wasn't used to having friends, or generally being around people. Brook had been isolated for a large portion of her life, grasping for any human contact whenever possible-- usually being denied.

But things have changed. It felt like there was an overwhelming amount of attention, and Brooklyn just wasn't a fan.

"Sure, as long as you make sure to put your stuff away when you get home, first." The two exchanged a smile, and just like that, the day went on.

Phil bought the uniforms and shoes as he said he would, but he also bought her a brown messenger bag and a black Kentucky tie that had a small blue gem in the middle.

There wasn't a lot of individuality allowed due to the dress code, and Phil wanted to make sure he could help with that.

Dan and Brook had bought an ABUNDANCE of school supplies from notebooks, pens and pencils, binders, and highlighters-- to a brand new laptop (which Brook was adamant she didn't need, but Dan insisted.)

Brooklyn had also gone on a little shopping spree of her own, buying extra journals and stationery, and a jewelry hanger for her room. She didn't HAVE any jewelry TO hang, yet, but she was proud of her purchases.

When the three arrived home, it was nearly 3 pm, and Brooklyn rushed to put her things away before the sunset. She was beyond thankful for the messenger bag. She slipped it around her neck after she finished carefully putting her belongings in it, and darting back down the stairs.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Dan joked, as Brook nearly stumbled down the stairs.

"I'm going to meet some friends, I haven't seen them in forever" she almost pleaded, hovering by the front door for approval. With a quick nod from Phil, she was out the door and down the street.

Now, Brooklyn wasn't exactly lying. She was meeting a friend of a friend, Briar. She was grasping at anything that reminded her of her past.

Briar was born and raised in Wales with her mum, but her dad fought for custody and she was moved to London. There was a transition period where Briar stayed at Brightside, but only for a few weeks.

For just a few weeks, somebody else understood what Brook lived through.

She reached into her pocket to pull out her phone. Before she could fully finish the task, the phone vibrated. It was a message from Briar, saying she was at the park waiting.

Brooklyn noted the coincidental timing of the message and hurried her pace, a sense of anticipation bubbling in her chest.

When she finally got to the park, she spotted the blue Honda Civic. She hopped in the passenger seat and turned to face the girl.

"How've ya been, girl?!" The new girl bursts out, optimism seeming to course through her veins. The radio played low enough that Brooklyn couldn't make out the words of the song, but it was pop-ish and girly.

"Better, definitely better than you! You ready?" Brook replied, tossing her messenger bag to the floor and fastening her seat belt.

A joking eye roll was exchanged.

The sound of the car being put in drive almost put the two at ease as they found their way to the main streets, the car was filled with mundane chatter of catching up, and the sound of the tires against the road as they drove past.

For the first time in a while, Brooklyn was starting to relax and feel free. There was an ease in the car.

Like there were no intentions to be the loyal friend, or the perfect daughter, or anyone other than who she was in the moment right now.

"You want to grab some Starbucks?" Briar chirped out as the car pulled to a stop outside of an old brick building. Brook hadn't even known this was here, but she wasn't surprised, either. She hadn't been on this side of town before, and Dan and Phil lived in a completely different area than Brightside.

"Yeah, sure"

Hopping out of the car, Briar held the door open for Brooklyn and the three other people who were also walking up. That was something Brook had noticed about Briar. Despite whatever happened with her mom, she was always kind and always polite.

Briar seemed to instinctually do these little things Brook didn't even THINK of doing. Her 'please' 's and 'thank you' 's with the occasional 'pardon me!' smoothly weaved into a conversation, it was a true juxtaposition to the Briar that BROOKLYN knew.

The girl has the mouth of a sailor, and who knew how to fight, too.

"What do you want? I'm paying" the blonde girl practically demanded, her face reflecting one of excitement. There were multiple signs up around the shop indicating the new fall drinks, all setting the tone of the colder months to come.

"I guess I'll just get one of the caramel thingies?" Brook finally said after looking over the menu, and back to Briar. "One caramel thingy coming right up" she sarcastically responded, a small nudge thrown Brooks way.

Briar was shorter than Brooklyn, but not by much. A couple centimeters, max. There was a time when Briar used to tease her over the height difference, but that not-so-surprisingly hasn't been mentioned recently.

Brooklyn managed to wander her way to the back corner of the store, looking over the baked goods and the bagged coffee's. Luxury items, she would constantly tell herself.

Finding a table to sit at and her friend soon returning by her side, the conversation set pace for a conversation Brook wasn't expecting. "You heard from Amber recently?"

Brook could feel the chills on the back of her neck already. "No, actually."

"Rough, that honestly doesn't surprise me. She's been acting like a massive chav ever since she got out. A proper bitch, really..." Brooklyn cut off Briar from what she knew would be an inevitable rant to start one of her own.

"She got out?!"

[wanderrlust0]

i hung out with snow and 2 of their friends for their bday (2 dozen anni celebration) and it was a lot of fun!

we got to the city around 3:15 and walked to ktown. we went to this bakery they all usually go to and they had so many tasty treats, i wanted to try them all! i got a strawberry bouchee & snow got us this strawberry refresher thats kind of carbonated but it was good! it had pieces of strawberries in it so it was cute. then we walked to kinokuniya which is this huge japanese store filled with books,magazines,manga, stationery, plushies,toys,collectables, &moreeee. it had 3 stories!!! there was soo much to look at & i def wanna go back!! i told the bestie about it & she wants to go! (i didnt realize how close it was to bryant park as well. like i totally wouldve went there last time i was in bryant park if i knewww.) we were in there for like an hr. i bought a spirited away japanese book & a cute pop up holiday card for myself bc i liked the art. i wanted a small spirited away book but they only had the big one and the book that shows miyazakis sketches. i feel like i shouldve just gotten that one, even tho it was more money..maybe on my next trip. afterwards, we went to muji, then the nintendo store. so snows friends are very much gamers. well, they allll are lol & theyre into kpop, conventions, etc so theyre quite diff from my friend group but they were very nice! & they were already talking about stuff like how i have to see their friends room bc she has cool things and how they’ll force me & snow to watch the live action.. demon slayer mugen train musical…lolll yes that. we then went backkk to ktown to eat at abiko curry, which is a spot they go to a lot. it was my first time trying it and omg it was sooo good, i ate it all. ive never had korean curry so i thought it was so cool that i could add a pork chop to it and it was crispy! it was so satisfying lol it was like our first real meal of the day at 8:30. im gonna be thinking about that curry for a whilee. afterwards, we were gonna go to this place called starbucks reserve, which is like a very fancy coffee shop/bar, but we realized we wouldnt have enough time so were saving it for some other time. we got gelato that was nearby and they had such cool flavors!! lychee, guava, plum.. i got a scoop of ube and thai iced tea and they went perfect together omg i want it again. i didnt know how thai iced tea gelato would taste but it tasted exactlyyy like the drink so it was so refreshing after our curry meal. after gelato we went back to the bakery to pick up things we wanted to take home with us. we didnt get on the train until 10:30 so we got home later than i thought & i was soso tired the next morning bc i had to wake up early but it was worth it lol. oh yeah! i forgot to mention but i gave snow their bday gift & card in the car so they opened the gift before we walked to the train station and !!! they loved it so much they criedddd D; it was sweet and also shocking and funny bc like!! i didnt mean to make you cry omggg loll for context, the gift was a framed drawing i made of inumaki from jujutsu kaisen and so they said thats its literally the best gift theyve ever gotten, mostly due to it being handmade and i was like WhaTttt no wayyy. the best gift youve ever gotten?!? they knew i was gonna draw something already bc they didnt want me to buy a gift & wanted something handmade like my art but ofc they didnt know what id draw & didnt really expect me to draw Him. they saved the card for our train ride home bc when they first opened it in the car & saw so many words they couldnt read it yet lol. when snow was on their way to my house they realized they forgot my gift (for my bday) and i was like MY Gift!!?! i really dont know what it could even be… it was fun spending time with them and i feel like its a nice change to hangout with a different friend group. idk like something about it feels fun and refreshing & just different. ofc it depends how comfortable i feel with everyone. but yeahhh, it was a good day & i got to try a lot of yummi foods

(my bracelet fell off and idk where it went:(( it could be somewhere in my room or my bfs room.. i dont believe it fell off at work.. or the shower..but i dont wanna think about thatD: it wasnt really a sentimental one i guess.. but it was like a good bracelet..& old.. &cute:( im hoping it shows uppppp!!!!)

[sommer-girl]

Thursday, November 3 — The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Make a list of 10 items your character has received as a gift and describe what the item means to them (if at all).  

TRANSCRIPT: Hey friends! I got a bunch of books for Christmas (and some other stuff, and, uh, some gift cards, which I used to buy books of course!) So I thought I’d do a little haul and show you everything I got!!!

Okay, so first, I got a gift card! Which was really nice of my dad because he doesn’t really know what I like to read, which is, like, fair. I mean, it’s not like he’s gonna read this kind of stuff. He works in politics and he is super busy all the time, and honestly I’m sure he doesn’t have that much time to go shopping for stuff in general, so it’s kind of a win win! And I got myself a bunch of books to take to uni with me, Elinor Oliphant and One Day in December and The Switch by Beth O’Leary... they are probably only gonna last me, like, two weeks, but it’ll be a piece of home!

He also got me a bunch of stationery and stuff, which was super nice too, because we all know I need to get more organized. Like, I’m gonna be going to uni! Real, in-person uni! I gotta get my act together with studying! So I really appreciated this. Look how cute they are! We got a set of blue and black pens, and they’re yellow, which is a color I love, and a matching yellow planner, and all these cute little sticky notes that I can use for remembering things!

And then, okay, this isn’t a book or anything, but I just wanted to show you all this cardigan that my mom made me! It’s so pretty, look at all the little snowflake details around the collar, and it’s such a pretty color of dark blue. It’s a little big on me, but I think it will be really cozy and perfect for late nights in the library. Ahh! I’m gonna get to go to the library whenever I want! Sorry, I’m just so excited!!!

Okay, back to books! Gerta got me this uni cookbook, which I think is going to be a lifesaver because, as we know, I’m a horrible chef. But how bad can you mess up a microwave meal, right? I don’t think our dorms— ahhh, I’m going to have a dorm! Sorry— I don’t think our dorms have individual kitchens, but I think we have a communal kitchen we all share. But I think we’re allowed to have microwaves. So I’m excited to try some of these!

Gerta also got me this cute little waffle maker! Which is sooo great because I’m gonna miss Norwegian waffles so much when I’m in England. It was really thoughtful of her. Let’s just hope I don’t burn the dorm down!

And then I got this really sweet package from my sister! I don’t get to see her that much, or, like, really at all, actually, because she lives in England, but she always sends me these really cute packages for Christmas and for my birthday. Anyway, she got me allll these books on my TBR which was so sweet of her, like you can tell she just went right on my blog and got the ones I wanted! I miss her a lot but, uh, I know she’s... busy and stuff. Anyway, this was really sweet of her.

She also sent me this gorgeous bookmark! It has my initials engraved in it, see, and it’s a really pretty fake leather material, and it has sunflowers on it! My favorite kind of flower. I don’t know how she knew that. But it’s not, like a secret, so... [shrug]

Okay, next up, my cousins! I don’t get to see them a lot either, but they know I like to read, so they got me this gorgeous edition of Little Women! That’s one of my favorite books, and oh my god, just look at how pretty the typeface is, and the binding, and the illustrations... ahhh, I just really nerd out about this stuff. 

And this is the fun part, I got some books in my BookTube Secret Santa! So this is from Maisy, all the way from the United States, and it’s the new Good Witch Azura book, which I have been trying to get my hands on forever. And Maisy knows that because I have been DMing her nonstop about my predictions and now I finally have it! And now I can’t go on Twitter for, like, two weeks because I can NOT be spoiled. Nobody post spoilers!

Finally, I also bought myself a little present, because you should always treat yourself, so this is a little book club-scented candle, because I love my online book club, and I like to think this is what an in-person book club would smell like! It smells sooo good, guys, like nutmeg and cinnamon and stuff. Very dark academia. So, uh, yeah! That’s my little gift to myself. 

[marculees]

I love how my family say they don't invade my privacy yet if I ever receive a letter or package, they will ask what it is and get offended if I don't tell them. Because not opening it obviously means they aren't being invasive. It's easier to tell them in advance what I am expecting, if anything, rather than not tell them and have them grow more nosy.

So with that said, I just woke up and heard my parents answering the door with my mum explaining to my dad that it's "Niamh's ****" that I won in a competition earlier this week. And my sister immediately came into my room to ask what it was too because? The lady said she would put it in an ordinary envelope to be as discreet as possible and not make any family suspicious, but that doesn't work with this household 😭

[books-and-catears]

My Seven Sins: Greedy little monkeys

Tagging as requested: @humans-are-weird-by-an-alien @greenlit-mess @satans-favorit3 @candymeowz @jiminslajibolala @yukihaie @s0ggycerea1 @beelsmeal @ninefuckingoneone

Greed! MC: Mammon.

Mammon: Whadya want, Greedy MC?

Greed! MC: Ugh why did Pride have to put this kind of a naming convention? Just call me MC!

Mammon: Everytime I do that all 7 of you respond at once!

Greed! MC: Well right now it's just me in the room, right!

Mammon: Fine fine whadya want?

Greed! MC: Do you know where Goldie is?

Mammon: ...Whadya want with my GOLDIE?! *reaches his backpocket to check* SHE'S NOT THERE! Ah Frick! Did Lucifer take it again?!!

Greed! MC: *laughs and holds up Goldie* Nope she is right here.

Mammon: WHY YOU- MC I never knew you had a sly side to you!? Give her back! She's mine!

Greed! MC: Ah, atleast learn to protect her better if you want to call her yours. *puts it in his jacket*

Mammon: How did you sneak it out of my pocket?! Are you secretly a pick pocket?

Greed! MC: Nah I can't do all that. I only waited for the right time, when you went to shower and sneaked it out then. I also placed a dummy card that would look and feel like Goldie and eventually disappear after a few hours.

Mammon: You strategize stealing stuff with that much attention to detail??!

Greed! MC: Yes because I'd prefer not to be caught due to half assed efforts hehe. Good to know my tricks are good enough to fool the Avatar of Greed himself.

Mammon: Hah? Well you are sorely mistaken if you think I'm the last boss! Try stealing from Lucifer then we'll see!

Greed! MC: *holding Lucifer's jewelled peacock feather pen* This is Lucifer's right?

Mammon: That's Diavolo's first gift to Lucifer ever!! HOW DID YOU FIND THAT?! You can't possibly be thinking of selling THAT?!

Greed! MC: Of course not. I keep stuff for a few days, use them a little and then return it. There's no thrill in selling - but there's thrill in returning it and getting a reward for it. *Winks*

Mammon: And they call me scummy! You're like a professional con-artist!

Greed! MC: Oh please I only used to steal pretty stationery as a kid. Never money. My parents gave me the best they could - but pretty things weren't always affordable.

Mammon: Oi MC...

Greed! MC: So occasionally I'd take something I fancied too much. The rich kids never even noticed it was gone. So I didn't bother returning.

Mammon: There's no need to steal anymore, okay? If you want something that bad - just tell me. I might not be as loaded as Lucifer but I can definitely buy you some stuff. So just tell me instead.

Greed! MC: *blushes and smiles*

Mammon: *blushes harder* Oi whats with that face?!

Greed! MC: Nothing. You really are the Great Mammon. That's all. Tell me if you want anything in return.

Mammon: ...well there's one thing.

Greed! MC: Sure ask away.

Mammon: Teach me all those thieving strategies of yours.

Greed! MC: Alright deal! Say goodbye to your days of hanging from the ceiling. *Shakes hands*

Levi: There's two of them. I repeat, there's two of them.

Envy! MC: Everyone hide your things, hide whatever is valuable, HIDE EVERYTHING.

Levi: And be super vigilant! At all times!

Satan: You are carrying out this ridiculous drill because you overheard the two of them talking?

Wrath! MC: Even though it fits with their nature, we can't just villify people before they've done anything?

Levi: They have Lucifer's favourite pen.

Asmo: The pretty peacock one he rarely uses??!

Lust! MC: Yes that one. Exactly that one! It's so pretty looking!

Wrath! MC: Oh dear lord, we haven't stolen in so long - why does Greed still have the skills?!

Belphie: The last thing we needed was a smart version of Mammon.

Beel: I need a personal fridge which I can lock.

Lucifer: *in his study* Something bad is brewing. I can feel a sense of dread in the winds.

Pride! MC: Yes indeed it feels like the calm before the storm. Wonder what's going on.

[randomshyperson]

The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - The First Year

Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3

Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.

Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies.

Chapters will have additional warning when necessary.

Tag list ( let me know if you want to be tagged or removed idk haha) @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia

//////////////////////////////////

Part I - The First Year

Hogwarts will be fun was the first thought you had when you opened the letter in your hands.

Tony, your older brother, ruffled your hair slightly as he came down into the kitchen and watched you open the mail.

"Your letter finally arrived, huh, little witch?" He joked with a smile as he sat down at the table. 

"I can't wait to go!" You commented excitedly rereading the acceptance letter for the third time.

"Miss, after coffee, can we go to diagonal alley if you like?" Jarvis, your butler, asked you politely as he poured Tony's coffee making you hesitate slightly. Tony, who had his eye on you, forced a smile as he patted you on the arm.

"I'll go with you, don't worry." He assured and you nodded.

"I wish dad would come." You grumble as you sit down and Tony sighs.

" Yeah, me too." He says. "But you know he's busy, and we can't leave it to the last minute."

You mumble in agreement as you serve some sweetbreads on your plate.

Eating in silence for a few moments, you are startled slightly when Tony lets out an exclamation.

"Damn, I forgot to write back to Steve." He announces getting up and walking over to the next shelf where there were some stationery and pen.

"Your boyfriend will be upset." You tease lightly, and Tony mumbles softly without responding.

When he finishes writing the letter, he goes to the kitchen window and opens the metal, whistling loudly in a familiar rhythm. A few seconds later, Iron, his barn owl lands in front of him. Tony stroked the animal gently before dangling the letter in his paws.

" Please take this to Steve, Iron." He ordered and the animal made a noise before flying away again.

"Jarvis, I'll get ready to go." You tell the man as soon as you finish eating and head off toward the stairs.

//-//

Diagonal Alley is a noisy place.

Tony asked you to walk beside him, but you stopped walking at the first Quidditch shop you spotted, and he had to turn back halfway when he noticed you were no longer beside him.

"Don't do that." He warned, mildly annoyed, but you glazed over at the exposed broom in front of you, and he let out a chuckle when he noticed. "Come on, Y/N, you already have a broom."

"But that's no ordinary broom." You retorted with an impressed look. "It's a Nimbus 2000, it's the fastest broom there is."

"You have the 99, I don't understand the difference." He retorted with his hands in his pockets and you shrugged.

"Tony, can we buy it?" You asked pleadingly, making your brother laugh slightly.

"Let's buy your stuff first please" He retorted with a smile and you grumbled but accepted the arm he offered for you to hang on. Jarvis walked behind you with a keen eye on your surroundings.

After you had bought the vast majority of your supplies and replenished your stocks of potions items for Tony, Jarvis took you to Blossoms and Blurbs to buy this year's books.

"Good morning! Hogwarts, third and first year books, please." You heard Jarvis tell the clerk who approached you three. Tony nodded his head signaling you to feel free to walk around the bookstore in the meantime, and that is exactly what you did.

You found many interesting books in the place as you walked among the shelves. One in particular caught your attention, as there seemed to be little miniature magical creatures trying to jump out of the cover, and you grabbed it on a table, watching the item carefully.

You smiled when an ink dragon jumped into your hand, moving your head as if you were looking around. Distracted by the book, you let out a low exclamation when someone bumped into you.

"Sorry, kid." You heard a female voice speak in a humorous tone. It is a girl taller than you, short red hair. "I ended up tripping over some of those runner books."

"It's okay." You said with a smile. The girl looked at the one book in your hands for a moment.

"Do you enjoy creature tracts?" She asks casually as she reaches for a book on the bookshelf beside her.

"I don't know yet." You say and she looks at you slightly confused, "I never studied."

"Ah, first-year." She understands and you nod in agreement. "Hogwarts too or some other?"

"Hogwarts." 

"Cool, I guess I'll see you there then." She says. "I'm from Slytherin, third year."

You let out a surprised exclamation.

"Maybe you know my brother." You say and the girl takes her gaze from the books in her hand she was checking to look at you with her eyebrow raised in curiosity. "His name is Tony Stark, he's also from your house."

The girl lets out a short laugh.

"I can't believe you are Stark's sister." She says. "We're not exactly friends, but I've seen him around the dorm several times. And your brother is a pain in the ass, by the way."

You laugh lightly, agreeing.

"I am Natasha Romanoff." She introduces herself next, balancing her books in one hand to greet you. You introduce yourself with a gentle smile. "Good luck with your books." She says before turning away.

You think it's cool that you already know someone besides your brother before you start at Hogwarts.

//-//

Buying your wand is a rather strange experience.

Mr. Ollivander has a glint in his eye as if he knows everyone's secrets, and seems to disappear and reappear in his store very easily.

Tony sat on one of the stools while he waited for you, and Jarvis went to buy something for you two to eat.

After trying almost five wands, and exploding a glass vase when he tried the last one, Mr. Ollivander sighed.

"Sorry, I don't know why it's not working." You asked feeling nervous, but he smiled.

"Don't worry, dear." He said. "Difficult customers are so much fun." 

He walked back in between the shelves after that, and then reappeared with three new packages.

"I remember when Howard Stark bought his wand." He told smiling nostalgically as you opened one of the packages, a black wand in front of you. "Phoenix, Cedar, slightly flexible."

"Dad has changed wands thousands of times." Added Tony wryly, but Mr. Ollivander didn't seem to mind.

The wand you tested let out a faint spark when you tried to cast a simple conjuration spell, and the man in front of you was quick to take it from your hand the next second.

"I think I have a better idea." He announced turning around, and then climbed the ladder supported by the wall, picking up a package at the top.

"Try this one dear." He asked handing you a dark wand, the wood was shiny, a color you didn't know exactly what it was, but it was beautiful. 

When you grabbed the item, you felt a tingling sensation spread throughout your hand, and the wand vibrated slightly for a few seconds, causing Ollivander to let out a noise of excitement.

"You see, I knew I would find an owner for you dear." He spoke and you realized that he was speaking with the item in your hands. Soon he turned his gaze back to you. "Take good care of this one, will you, it was quite difficult to get dark elf blood for the core."

"R-right." You said with a slight frown, not quite sure what to make of that information.

Tony laughed lightly at the interaction, he should be used to Mr. Ollivander's eccentric manner by now, since he kept breaking his wands just like your father and often returned to the store to get a new one.

After paying, you and Tony met Jarvis outside, he was carrying some sweet rolls.

//-//

July ended too quickly for your happiness. You were very eager to go to school.

You spent most of August at home, playing quidditch with Tony in the backyard, curiously reading the magic books you bought, and trying to peek into the basement where your father worked, but he always caught you looking and smiled, asking you to go back to your room.

You would like your father to take you to the station, but he said he had a magic conference in September, and would be traveling for the next few weeks. Tony was upset, but he put his arm around your shoulders and asked you to hurry to get your bags.

When you finally got to the station, you were slightly nervous about going through a wall, but Tony laughed, and showed you how to go first.

You hugged Jarvis good-bye before following your brother along the way.

Tony dragged you across the train cars to the first empty cabin he could find. He commented that it would be nice if you made your own friends, but that he would like you to sit with him.

So here you were, sitting with Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, Tony's best friends since the first year. The boys smiled encouragingly at you. You already knew them, because Tony kept inviting them to spend holidays with him all the time.

"Hey, Y/N, how was your vacation?" Steve asked as soon as you sat down next to him. You shrugged, saying that it was nice, but that you were looking forward to attending Hogwarts.

Soon the boys started talking about what they were excited about next year, and you did your best to keep up, not knowing exactly who the people they mentioned were, or knowing the classes they talked about.

Many minutes after the train was moving, a girl opened the cabin door.

"Hey, strangers." She greeted with a smile. 

"Hi Peggy." Steve said with a smile, you frowned at the slight scowl on your brother's face.

"They're calling for us in the prefects compartment, Steve." She warned and Steve nodded, getting up. He and the girl then left, and Tony crossed his arms.

"What's wrong?" You asked noticing his posture and the way Bucky had a little smile on his face.

"It's nothing." Grumbled your brother, and as he turned his face to the window, Bucky who was standing in front of you, whispered to you.

"Tony thinks Peggy likes Steve." He recounted. "So he doesn't like Peggy very much."

"Oh." You said, pretending to understand the whole plot. It didn't make much sense to you because everyone couldn't be friends, but you figured that when you were your brother's age you would understand better.

//-//

The Hogwarts Express only stopped at night.

Properly uniformed, you smiled when your brother patted you on the shoulder, telling you that he would meet you at the castle, since the first-year students had to go by boat.

Your hands were sweating a little as you walked up to the extraordinarily tall man who introduced himself as Drax.

"First-year students, please, six in each boat." He shouted to the crowd, and the students moved closer together.

You sat in one of the first little boats, five other children you didn't know surrounding you.

"I'm so excited." A blonde girl commented cheerfully, waving her hands. She smiled at everyone as she introduced herself as "Harley Quinn". 

"I bet you''ll blow something up once we get there, Harley" Added a redheaded girl sitting next to you, you could tell by her tone that they were probably friends. The blonde, Harley, laughed.

"Shut up, Ivy." She said, and then Drax was back, climbing into one of the boats beside her. He checked the boats one last time, then waved his hand, and the transports began to move.

Everyone, including you, let out a chorus of excitement.

When you noticed the castle, you smiled. It was huge, and just as amazing as Tony used to tell you. 

"Wow, it must be amazing to fly over all that." You quietly observed, and the girl next to you turned her head in your direction, smiling.

"Do you like flying?" She asked, and you nodded. She looked at you for a moment and then held out her hand to greet you. "I am Diana. Diana Prince."

"Hi, Diana." You said introducing yourself next. "Do you also like to fly?"

"I love it." She says. "I hope i can make it onto the team."

"I don't know if the first-years have any chance, but I'll be rooting for you." You assure, and Diana smiles.

When the boats stop in the harbor, the students are all excited to get out and see the castle, but Drax's almost intimidating posture makes everyone properly behaved.

He leads the crowd to the staircase, and then there is a lobby. There is a woman waiting for everyone, her strict posture makes you think she is someone you wouldn't want to upset.

"Welcome to Hogwarts." She announces. "I am Professor Okoye, head of Gryffindor house."

The students exchange burbles next, but the teacher's gaze shuts them up almost immediately.

"As long as you are here, your houses will be like your families." She continues. "Your triumphs will earn you points, and if you break any rules, those points will be taken away." 

She says, casting a disapproving glance at one of the students in the corner, who giggled. "In a few moments we will begin the sorting hat ceremony."

The teacher then turns around, heading toward a large bronze door, and talking to someone on the other side. You hear someone laughing near you, and you turn your head to the side in curiosity.

It was a blond boy, and he seemed to be enjoying himself as he balanced one of the gold cups he picked up from the surrounding shelves. You thought he would be in trouble if he knocked it over, and this seemed to be exactly the same opinion as the girl next to him, who was looking at him disapprovingly.

"Stop being an idiot, Peter, put that back." She complained and he laughed, shrugging.

"Gamora, you're a spoilsport you know." He retorted and when he put the cup back, it spun and fell to the floor, breaking into several pieces. The boy turned pale as Teacher Okoye turned her head in his direction.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to them.

"Reparo" You said drawing your wand as you pointed at the broken object. Some children let out impressed exclamations when they saw the bowl form again, but you just put your wand away in shame. It was no big deal. Okoye caught up with the three of you next, looking reproachfully at the boy.

"I expect better behavior during the ceremony, sir..."

"Quill"

"Mister Quill." She completed and took one last look at the boy that had with his head down before turning back to the front of the crowd again, waving for the students to follow her.

"Hey, that was pretty cool." Peter commented beside you as you walked. You shrugged, focusing on the path.

//-//

The sorting hat was something exceptional.

Tony never told you how the choice was made, and you knew it was only to annoy you. He had sometimes joked that the students faced each other in a duel, and even though you told him to shut up, you had a look at his spell book before you came.

The actual ceremony was much simpler, however.

When it was your turn to climb onto the small stool, you bit your lips, hoping that everything would go smoothly. Just as the old cloth of the hat fell over your eyes, blocking your view of the rest of the hall, you heard a voice in your head.

" Hello, dear, no need to be so nervous." Announced the hat gently. "You are a curious little thing, I see."

"Is that a good thing?" You thought, and the hat chuckled lightly.

"It might be." He said mysteriously. "Interesting what I see here. Very interesting."

"What are you seeing?"

"Your memories, dear."

"Oh." You thought, feeling slightly embarrassed. That seemed like an intrusion of your privacy. The hat laughed again, and you remembered that he was on your head.

"You're hard to sort out." He says, and you squeeze the stool. "Don't worry, I'm not going to send you home, that's not how it works."

"Oh, right."

Hat was silent a few moments. 

"I see courage in your heart." He says and you try to remember the characteristics of the houses. "But that courage is well forged with your loyalty."

You swallow dryly, feeling your anxiety rising. This was definitely taking much longer than the people who went before you.

"You are as smart as your father and brother, both members of the Slytherin house." He says.  "There's a willingness not to let them down."

"That's personal." You grumble feeling your cheeks flush, but the hat doesn't care to apologize for bringing up your insecurities.

"Ah, this is interesting here. A pure kindness, yet pruned in your origins of shallow paternal affection”.

You frown, not understanding what he is saying.

"You are quite adaptable child, it has always been one of your best virtues." The hat remarks, and you get the impression that the next part is only said for you. "Tell me, where would you like to stay?"

"Isn't that your job?" You retort in thought, and hear him laugh again. You rush to correct yourself, not wanting to be rude. "Sorry, hat. I don't really know. I'd like to stay where I fit in best."

"You would do well anywhere." He retorts, and you frown. "And that's pretty impressive, you know. I haven't met another hatstall since the last century."

You swallow dryly, not knowing if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I'll work hard, sir." You tell him. "I don't want people to think I'm a special witch just because of my family. That's something I'm sure, I don't know if it helps you choose."

Hat lets out a sigh of relief.

"Actually, that's exactly what I needed."

It takes a moment for him to speak again, and when he does, you feel your whole body shake.

"Hufflepuff"

//-//

Steve Rogers is the head boy of Hufflepuff and he celebrates excitedly when you sit down at the table next to him.

"That's so cool" He comments. "I'll be able to tease Tony all year about it."

After that, director Agatha Harkness, made the announcement of the beginning of the year. If her goal was to scare the students, she succeeded when she talked about the deadly dangers surrounding the forbidden forest and the punishments for the disobedient. Professor Strange interrupted her speech as he cleared his throat, awkwardly waving for Agatha to stop saying such things, and the woman giggled. 

Dinner is delicious, and then you are following the crowd of students into the communal rooms. 

"Butterbeer" Steve said to the portrait on the wall, and you blinked in surprise when the painting moved to the side, a door behind.

You sighed when you realized how cozy the Hufflepuff's common room was.

"Everyone please come in." Asked Steve in the center of the room, waving to the students who stayed behind. When everyone was around him, he smiled. "The dorms are divided by gender, but you can sleep wherever you feel most comfortable. I will only suggest that none of you try to sleep with the seventh graders, because they are scary." Steve joked making the crowd laugh lightly. "We have a supply of food in those lockers, just in case you feel like having a snack in the early morning, outside of the permitted hours for walking around the castle." He continues and stands thoughtfully for a few moments. "Most of the things you need to know are on the bulletin board on that wall, and you can also ask me anything you want. Your belongings have already been taken to the free beds, but if you want any help, you can organize among yourselves or just come talk to me."

Steve smiled as the crowd moved. You headed in the direction where he said the rooms were.

//-//

You let out a surprised exclamation as something landed on your head.

"Damn, sorry!" Asked an asian girl approaching you, and pulling the small being out of your hair as you entered the room. "Groot, I told you to behave yourself."

"I am groot." Grumbled the little creature. You looked at it wide-eyed, impressed.

"Wow, is that a tree?"

The girl laughed, putting the small creature sitting on her shoulder, sitting on the bed next to the one you identified as having your things.

"Yes and no." She said. "I found Groot in my garden over the vacations, and well, I don't know what he is exactly. But I think he was trying to make my mother's plants grow."

"He's really cute." You commented approaching with your finger extended. Groot smiled, accepting your touch.

"I am Mantis." Says the girl next and you smile at her as you introduce yourself. "We're going to be roommates."

"Yes, and so is Groot." You add as you take off your cape to throw on the bed that would be yours.

After eating so well at dinner, it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep. 

You dream of glowing green eyes and a red light, but you don't recognize them or understand what it means, and when you wake up, you no longer remember.

//-//

Two weeks since you started at Hogwarts, you are used to how eccentric everything can be.

The classes weren't as difficult as you imagined, but that's probably because you've had contact with magic all your life and always had an easy time learning things. All the teachers were unique in their own way. 

Professor Rocket, for example, taught Transfiguration and spent almost the entire period transfigured into a raccoon, even outside of class hours. He was temperamental and got irritated very easily when students talked too much in his class, so it was not recommended to do so.

There was also Professor Fury, who had an eye patch as a mandatory piece in his daily costume, and all the students spent more time trying to guess how this happened, than listening to his explanations of defense spells against the dark art.

Your astronomy class on Wednesdays was taught by Professor Odin, who like to claim that he was a descendant of the Olympian gods, but no one believed him. He was also the father of two of your classmates, Thor and Loki Odinson, who were the exact opposite of each other. While Thor was warm and friendly, Loki was cold and reclusive, plus the former was from Gryffindor and the other from Slytherin. Surprisingly, you liked them both. 

You ended up meeting the head of your house only on the second day.  

Professor Heimdall taught Divination, so you wouldn't have any classes with him until the third year.You bumped into him when you were late for fifth period and had to run to the common room for your Potions books, and almost fell on the floor when you turned the corner without looking and the professor was there.  He prevented you from falling with a wave of his wand, smiling gently. 

" Forgive me." You said clumsily, feeling slightly intimidated by the yellow irises as the magic set you on your feet properly, as well as catching your books in the air and placing them in your hands again. 

"Be careful with the castle corridors, Miss Stark." Said the man, and for some reason, you thought he wasn't just talking about this little incident.

"Professor Heimdall, let's talk in a private place, please."  Asked Professor Okoye, who was standing at his side, she looked at you with a certain disapproval, and you couldn't tell whether it was because of your intrusion, or the fact that your tie was hanging loosely around your neck, in addition to the open buttons on your shirt.

After this little incident, you asked Steve who Professor Heimdall was, and he explained that he was the head of Hufflepuff, and might seem intimidating at first glance, but that he was very kind.

But so far, the professor who has intrigued you the most was Professor Erik Lehnsherr, who taught Potions. He didn't say anything that wasn't related to the subject, didn't make any comments about behavior or events at school. And he had such a stern and mysterious look in his eyes that no student had the courage to ask him anything. You heard Peter Quill make a bet with Thor Odinson that Professor Erik was unable to smile because of some particular sorcery, but you thought it best not to laugh, especially since Mr. Lehnsherr was looking at your direction.

When you had your first Potions period with Slytherin, after herbology professor T'Challa needed to reschedule classes for an appointment, you were surprised to discover that professor Lehnsherr had children.

Gamora ended up on the same bench as you, and she was talking to her sister, Nebula, about an incident that occurred in their dormitory.

"Clearly, the professors' children have an easy time getting away with punishment." Nebula bitterly remarked, and you frowned in confusion. 

"I don't think it was the girl's fault." Gamora retorted as she put the ingredients into her cauldron. She looked at you quickly, realizing that you were listening to the conversation, but she didn't scold you, she just kept stirring the mixture.

"What happened?" you asked next, and Nebula looked at you with mild irritation. She seemed about to tell you to mind your own business, but Gamora smiled, moving closer to whisper to you.

"A girl lost her temper in the Slytherin dorm bathrooms last night." She told. "She's a second year, her name is Wanda Maximoff. She and her brother are Professor Lehnsherr's kids, and everyone is saying that she didn't go to detention because of it."

Your jaw dropped, impressed. 

"I can't believe Magneto has children." You said making Gamora and Nebula laugh at the nickname. Last week you found out that the school had been calling Erik that since he stopped the hall chandelier from falling on the teachers' desk two years ago when he used non-verbal magic to attract the metal, and everyone started calling him that behind his back. Tony told you and you liked the story.

"I know right, he seems so self-contained." Gamora remarked looking back briefly. Professor Erik was focused on his own potions book.

"That noisy kid from Gryffindor said he's married." Nebula added next and Gamora laughed lightly.

"Peter Quill?"

"Yes."

"Wow, that's surprising." Says the girl. You both return to stirring your cauldrons in silence after that little conversation.

When you have finished your mixing, Professor Erik gives Hufflepuff five points for your good work, and you smile with red cheeks.

"You're nice." Nebula suddenly said beside you as you were leaving the room. Gamora stood next to her. "Do you want to walk around with us?"

"We're already walking." You joked and Gamora laughed unlike her sister who grimaced.

"Yep, definitely cool." She added. "Do you want to have lunch with us?"

"At your table or mine?"

Gamora and Nebula exchanged glances.

"I'm not sitting with Hufflepuff." Nebula declared and you sighed, rolling your eyes.

"You know I'm from Hufflepuff, right?"

"I'm reconsidering the invitation." She retorted and you frowned, but Gamora smiled at you.

"Will you sit with us, please?"

You sighed, nodding in agreement. You could talk to Tony after all.

//-//

Lunch at the Slytherin table became an everyday thing after that day. It took two weeks for Mantis to start joining you, and then you realized that you had a small group of friends now.

At Christmas, neither you nor Tony came home, because your father was working and you didn't want to be alone in the Stark mansion. You ended up turning down Tony's invitation to spend Christmas with Steve Rogers and his family, because you weren't really friends with Steve. Tony insisted, not wanting you to be alone, but you assured him that you would be fine in the company of your friends, and that he needn't worry.

On Christmas morning, Groot woke you up by jumping on your face. You laughed lightly because he was so small that he was like a tickle, and stood up as you returned the little creature to Mantis' bedside table.

A few hours later, as you were opening your presents at the Slytherin table along with Gamora, Nebula, Mantis, and Peter Quill, who had also stayed at Hogwarts for the end of the year, you let out an excited exclamation.

"I can' believe it." You spoke, opening the package in front of you. It was a large box, it was bewitched and only revealed the actual wrapping once you tore the paper off. It was actually a broom.

"Wow, that's cool." Peter remarked as he looked at your present. 

That's how you ended up in the middle of the snow, testing your new broom while your friends cheered and celebrated below you.

"Are you sure you can fly?" You asked Peter as soon as he asked you if he could ride. He shrugged, smiling.

You and the girls watched as he controlled the broom for a few feet above the ground, and then he overspeeded it and sped away.

You all ran into his direction, while the broom seemed almost annoyed at his lack of control, and knocked him into a tree. Peter fell between the branches, onto someone who was resting under it.

When you all reached him, you frowned when there was a boy pushing Quill.

"Watch it, dude!" Warned the boy, but before you could say anything, Gamora was already stepping forward, wand in hand.

"It was just an accident." She said and the boy looked at her surprised with her wand outstretched. He crossed his arms however, not looking scared.

"Oh, you're going to spell me now, are you?" He teased.

"Piss off, Maximoff." Warned Nebula next, taking a step beside her sister. So this was Pietro Maximoff. You figured that confidence should come from being the son of one of the professors.

"I suggest you leave my brother alone." Warned a voice behind you. You turned next, only to catch sight of a girl with brown hair, green eyes that glittered with anger. 

Gamora clenched her jaw, and Nebula drew her own wand toward the girl, who also had her wand in her hands.

You sighed, raising your hands as you stood in the line of fire.

"Would everyone please calm down?" You asked. "It was just a misunderstanding, and the broom is mine anyway, no need to fight about it."

It takes a moment, but Gamora puts down her wand, and everyone follows her after that. She has an insinuating smile on her face.

"You really are a Hufflepuff, aren't you Stark?" She teases, and you laugh sheepishly, putting your hands in your pockets.  "Come on Quill." 

Gamora warns and the boy shoots Pietro an ugly look as he leaves. You accept your broom that he hands to you, and turn around, your gaze meeting that of the girl who is supposed to be Wanda Maximoff for a moment. You feel your face heat up at the intensity of the angry look, and you look away, following your friends.

//-//

The months went by quickly as the rest of the school year passed. You managed to do very well on the exams, and didn't get involved in any near-fights again.

When the year ended and the Hufflepuff didn't win the House Cup, you thought you should have been more upset, but you didn't mind having Gamora and Nebula celebrating beside you, laughing and hugging you excitedly.

You also didn't understand why you felt your stomach turn when you caught Wanda Maximoff smiling amidst the Slytherin celebration when you looked around.

[melancholymetropolis]

No Idea

Pairings: Athlete!Kirishima x PlusSize!Reader

Summary: College AU The reader is Kirishima's History tutor and they kinda have a crush on each other. It takes an afterparty filled with horny guys and a skin-tight dress for Kiri to realize he wants them all to himself.

Warning: Do I even need to say it at this point? It's smut, obvi. Kinda unedited. The reader and her best friend are black. Kirishima is a football player; he's VERY possessive over the reader. Her best friend is a little gay for her as well.

Author's Note: This was a commission!!!!! The client gave me this insane prompt and I had no choice but to go over the word limit. If you want to commission me, click here! Your support really means the world to me. Enjoy!

Word Count: 5,300

“You’re back early!” My roommate, Liza, yelled from the other side of the apartment-style dorm room. The sound of her chair scraping the floor followed shortly after, along with the light footsteps of her sock-clad feet. “I left you a plate in the microwave, in case you were hungry. I could heat it up, if you’re too tired— why the long face? What happened?”

“He didn’t show up,” I sighed as I dropped my books on the table and sank into a chair.

“How can he not show up?” Liza fumed crossing her arms. “His GPA is already in the gutter from all the other quizzes he seemed to fail before the semester even started.”

“I know,” I replied in a bored tone.

“He’s on academic probation—”

“I know.”

“One more hiccup and he’ll be off the football team—”

“I know.”

“Not to mention how you practically have to bend backward to make time for him—”

“Mhm.”

“Just for him to flake on you for the third time! I just—”

“Liza, please,” I rose from my seat and stood in front of her. “You don’t have to be angry with me. It’s truly okay.”

“No! It’s not okay!” She stormed to the microwave and pulled the cover plate from the inside. She removed the foil and pushed it back into the device, before pressing the start button four times. She turns to face me and forces an angered sigh from her lips. “He likes you, you know that right?”

I lifted my books from the table and walked to our shared room. I took in the words that she threw at me with each step and digested them. Kirishima liked me. It wasn’t as though I didn’t have an inkling that he may be, sorta found me attractive. Although I wore glasses, I wasn’t blind. At least with them on. I saw the way he looked at me when we were less than a foot apart. Shoulders practically touching as we slouched over the Advanced American History textbook. Our hands brushing against each other’s ever so often. The sparkle in his eye when he looked at me longer than a few seconds; the blush on his cheeks when I smiled at his corny jokes. His persistent tendency to walk me home, although most times, we finished our study sessions just before dusk. The way he stayed glued to my side during the journey to my dorm. How he’d carry my books on the way. I noticed it all and practically welcomed it, since I too found him attractive. The spiky redhead just had a way of making everyone swoon over him. Kirishima was genuinely a nice person, not because there was something in it for him, but just because.

The beeping from the microwave brought me back to reality. I placed the textbooks on the designated space on the shelf and fixed my scattered stationery from that morning. Liza shuffled in with a bowl of baked fetta pasta, and a piece of toasted garlic bread a few minutes later. She placed the bowl on the desk, with a fork, a can of sparkling soda, and my favorite metal straw.

“What did I do to deserve you?” I said with a tired smile.

“Helped me pass ‘Text and Ideas’ with an A-,” Liza smiled back and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh right,” I took a seat at the desk and forked the starchy dish in my mouth. “This is heaven-sent.”

“I knew you’d like it!” She deemed walking to her own desk. “I got the recipe from tiktok.”

I hum in response and continued to stuff my face. After a few minutes of silence, I grab the phone from my back pocket and unlocked it. A new message from Kirishima was the newest notification from many and it said:

Hey, I am sorry for not showing up. My teammate got shitfaced and decided to take a dive into the fountain. It took three of us to pull him out. It sucks because I was really looking forward to seeing you.

Since my mouth had already filled to its brink with pasta, I opted for a tight-lipped smirk instead of a toothy one. Kirishima all but admitted that he missed me. My hunch was right: the feelings are mutual. I swallowed the pasta and swiveled around in my chair to look at Liza. Her eyes were glued to her phone, but she snapped her head up to laugh at the content on her screen. Once she was down laughing, I picked my phone up and pointed it in her general direction. Reaching forward, she grasped the device and quickly read the message.

“Don’t respond to him,” she said, handing the phone back to me.

“Why? I thought you were shipping us together?” I asked whilst forking more pasta in my mouth.

“That’s why I’m telling you what I am telling you!” Liza rose to her feet and in a split second, she stood in front of me with a sickening smile.

“I am afraid to ask,” I said with a sigh.

“You don’t have to; I’m gonna tell you anyway,” she squats between my legs and widens her smile. “That boy is already wrapped around your finger, all you need to do is pull away. Just a tiny bit and he’ll come running.”

“Liza. . .”

“Hear me out!” She rose to her feet again and walked to the closet. “Remember when I went thrift shopping last week and I picked up that cute bodycon dress?”

“Yeah. . . ?”

“Well, I washed it and realized that it didn’t have the BODY to fill it out properly.” She pulls the dress from the closet and turns back to me. “And since the Homecoming Afterparty is at the Quarterback's house tomorrow night, I thought it would be the perfect time for you to wear it.”

I eye the dress, taking in its extremely short length and strappy detailing on the front. One wrong move and my breasts would spill right out of it. But, one right move would have them fall onto Kiri’s lap. I tried my best to list the pros and cons of the situation. Pondering what I could get out of the ordeal going to the lion’s den dressed as a gazelle. Yet, all I could imagine was me twerking on someone’s son and taking him home afterward.

💘🖤💘🖤

The dress fit like a glove: perfectly tight, almost like a second skin, but very breathable. I paired it with some hoop earrings, a few bangles on each wrist, and 3-inch kitten heels. My goal was to dress to impress, not nurse my aching arches by the end of the night. The entire ride over to the nicer part of town was nerve-wracking, for one, the Uber driver wouldn’t stop staring at my cleavage from the driver’s mirror. And, secondly, Liza practically had phone sex with her boyfriend, who was going to meet us at the party. I stared down at my phone the whole time, rereading Kiri’s message and the ones he sent afterward. It was true, he was wrapped around my finger. He didn’t double text; Kirishima sent five messages in a row.

Hey, are you free tomorrow? I wanted to talk about yesterday.

I’ll buy you that weird thing you like from Starbucks.

The drink you said that tastes like the moon.`

And I’ll get you those cake pop things.

My heart couldn’t help but flutter; I didn’t know he was paying that much attention to me. I only mentioned that Starbucks drink once in his presence, quite a while ago. It had to be a little over a month ago, yet he still remembered.

The car stopped and Liza popped right out. Her 34 inch Brazilian, straight swaying behind her as she closes the door. Still chatting with her boyfriend, she motions me out of the car with an eager smile. Reluctantly, I detach myself from the cool leather and tug on my dress as I closed the door behind me. I looked up toward the mansion before me, white paint and overwhelming size almost frightened me. But, when I saw a familiar, spiky-haired, redhead, all my potential fear left my body and warmth replaced it.

Kirishima’s back was to me; he was having an intense conversation with his best friend, Bakugo, one of the team’s Linebackers. The blond was so close to popping a fuse but Kiri was struggling to keep from laughing directly in his face. I approach the porch, slow and sensual, my eyes glued to him the entire walk over. Kirishima briefly turns around to address a comer of the group, Sero, an offensive player, when his eyes come up the steps. The humorous expression on his face drops and is replaced with awe. The other two boys look in the direction of his eyesight and replicate his reaction.

“Hi—” I lifted my hand to wave, but it never made it past my abdomen. Liza appeared right in front of me and captured my wrist.

“Girl, it’s our song! Hurry up!” She said as she proceeded to drag me into the house.

“Bye—! Wait, damn!”

Liza pulled me to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room of the home. She starts to bop side to side, swaying her hips in place. It takes me a few seconds to register that “34+35” was blasting the speakers. Liza twirls around me in a fit of giggles and continues to bop along to the music.

“I thought you liked “positions” better than this track?” I questioned as I matched her rhythm.

“I do! I just had to get you out of there,” Liza answered as she swayed her head back and forth. Which made her hair move in an angelic wave behind her bandeau top and pencil skirt. “Those three guys looked like they wanted to run a train on you.”

“ELIZABETH!!!!” I screamed with a shocked smile.

“What?! I’m not lying!” She gives me a bashful smirk. “You look so good, mamas! Shit, you're making me rethink my relationship with Shinso.”

“Oh my god!” I laughed. “I can’t take your ass anywhere, for real!”

The song began to fade out and bleed into “Pussy Talk” with the infamous City Girls. Liza’s soft bops began to move into full booty bouncing. Soon her hands are on her knees and she’s throwing her ass back on my lap. I press my hand flat on her back and lift my other hand in the air. She whines her waist and looks back at me as her inner hot girl is threatening to make an appearance. Shortly after the first verse, Liza straightens her back and dances around me as I bop to the side, bouncing my ass to the music. A smile comes to my lips as my favorite part plays on full blast.

“Pussy talented, it do cartwheels,” Liza and I screamed in unison. “And he pay ‘cause he like how that part feel.”

“Pussy give speeches, heartfelt,” I continued, popping my back against my friend.

“Yuh,” Liza ad-libbed.

“Said the pussy really talk like it Garfield,” I rapped as I felt Liza’s hands glide up my sides.

“It do!”

We danced around each other for the rest of the song and pulled away from the floor, desperately needing to hydrate. We practically stumbled toward the makeshift bar across the living room. We reached into the cooler and pulled out two bottles of water. We chugged the water and tossed the empty bottles in the trash.

“Only water, ladies?” Mineta asked as we turned back towards the dance floor. “You don’t want something a little. . . stronger?”

“Get lost, grape juice,” a familiar voice suddenly came out of nowhere.

Just a few feet behind the purple blob stood Kirishima and Shinso. If looks could kill, Mineta’s body parts would be staining the marble floors and messing up my fresh pedicure. The poor excuse for a human scurried away as both football players approached us. Shinso instantly wrapped his arms around Liza and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Having fun, baby girl?” His low voice sounded sensual against the harsh music.

A seductive smile falls on Liza’s face. “I would’ve had even more fun if you actually danced with me for once.”

“You know I don’t like—”

“Too bad!” She pulled Shinso to the dance floor.

Leaving me alone with Kirishima. I turned to look at him and offered him an awkward smile. “How was your diving lesson?”

The redhead returned my smile and scratched the back of his neck. “So you did read me my texts? I was starting to think you were mad at me or something.”

“Not at you, per se,” I replied thinking of my words carefully.

“Then who were you mad at?” Kirishima closes the distance between us and puts a finger under my chin. He redirects my attention to his face and gives me a smirk.

He looked good and he knew it. He wore a simple white t-shirt and black ripped jeans. But, he paired it with a burgundy leather jacket and a Cuban link silver chain. He had a gold wristwatch on his left wrist and a simple chain on his right. And his cologne. . . it danced in my nostrils. It wasn’t too heavy or suffocating; you simply had to be close to him to smell it.

Kirishima was playing a dangerous game and he knew it.

“At the people that take you away from me,” I looked at him with doughy eyes and slightly parted lips. A look of innocence was written all over my face.

Kirishima clenched his jaw and briefly looked away. A blush starting to form on his cheeks. “Well, I—. Shit.” He remained silent for a few seconds, gathering his words, before saying “You don’t know what you do to me, Y/N.”

“And what’s that?” I asked while removing his hand from my chin and bringing it to my lips. I gently kiss his bruised knuckles, never breaking eye contact while doing so.

The redhead opens his mouth to speak but is rudely interrupted by a yelling Liza.

“GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, BITCH!!!! THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG!!!!”

While I was talking to Kirishima, the music seemed to slip away. I had no idea what was playing until I refocused my attention on the blaring speakers. “Come on, Kiri. Duty calls.” I drag him to the dance floor.

Liza unlatches herself from Shinso and twirls around me. “I’m not shy, I’ll say it. I’ve been picturing you naked.”

“I’m a little faded, you look like a fucking painting,” I continue the verse as I glide my hands along my body. “Big doe eyes, amazin’. She’s everything I’ve been prayin’.”

Liza walked up to Kirishima and glided her hand along his chest. “Me and your girlfriend playin’ dress-up house.” She pressed two fingers against her lips and poked her tongue out. “I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch.”

Kirishima blushes a bright red, nearly matching his hair. It takes everything in me not to laugh.

I look back at Shinso and he’s just shaking his head with a smile on his face.

“Go get your girlfriend, before she devours your teammate,” I said giggly quietly.

“Go get your best friend before she kills your loverboy,” Shinso counters looking down at me with a smirk.

“He looks like he's gonna pass out,” I replied, struggling to contain my laughter.

“If you think that’s bad, you should’ve seen him when you were twerking on Liza,” Shinso jested while leaning closer to me. “Eijiro looked like he came in his pants.”

I smacked his arm and leaned against his chest. “You’re lying!” Laughter overcame my body; tears were gathering in the corners of my eyes.

“I swear to god,” Shinso struggled to say while laughing. “Then, when Bakugo called you hot. . . Eiji almost went feral.”

“Stop. . . I can’t breathe. . .”

“You better fuck him like the world is ending. . . I can’t keep stopping him from. . . fighting the entire team over you.”

“You and Liza. . . perfect for each other. . . I cannot. . .”

The song swiftly faded out into another. Yet another one of Liza’s favorites: Buss it by Erika Banks.

The young woman peeled herself from Kirishima and began walking to her boyfriend. I distanced myself from Shinso and walked over to Kirishima. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. “Are you okay, Kiri?” A smile painted my lips.

His eyes darkened and he gripped my waist firmly. “I want you. . . so bad right now.”

“How about we get outta here?” I suggested with a raised eyebrow.

“Go say goodbye to your friends, I’ll bring the car around,” Kirishima asserted with a smirk. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before detaching himself from me and walking out of the living room.

I turned back to Shinso and Liza, who were seconds away from eating each other’s face off. I tapped the loving couple and cleared my throat. They both pulled away and stared at me.

"We're leaving," I said simply.

"About fucking time," Liza replied with a smirk. "You better come back to the dorm in a goddamn wheelchair, if not, I'm sending you back to his place."

"You have like zero chill," I shook my head and waved goodbye.

"Don't forget to use protection!" Liza yelled after me.

A chuckle fell from my lips as I walked out of the front door. I found Kirishima exactly where he said he'd be: parked in front of the massive house, within a bright red mustang. He exited the car and walked around to the passenger side of the vehicle. He opened my door and helped me get in. Kirishima made sure I was buckled in and comfortable before entering the car on the driver's side.

He starts the vehicle, and places his right hand on my thigh. He gives the plush fresh a securing squeeze before pulling away from the curb.

The drive was short and sweet, averaging around ten minutes. We parked across the street from the boys’ dorm hall and exited the car. Kirishima opened my door and helped me out of the vehicle.

"If you don't want this, I could always take you home," he said as he shut my door. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."

"I want this more than you know," I responded while gripping his hand. "But, if I ever feel uncomfortable, I'll let you know."

Kirishima nods and smiles. "Good girl. Now let's go."

The moment his dorm's door closed, his body was pressed against mine and his hand glued to my waist. His lips massaged against my own, slow and sensually. I moaned against the kiss, and pressed my body closer to his. He felt so good attached to me, almost like he was meant to be against me. His searing hot kisses inched down my jawline and to my neck. Kirishima's hands slid up my abdomen and to my shoulders, he slipped the straps from the curved surface and pulled away just enough just to allow me to remove them from my arms.

He kissed the other side of my neck, leaving little bites here and there. The redhead ran his tongue against my collarbones and I swear a flood rushed to my nether regions. Kirishima kissed down and left my breast, gathering the anticipation that swirled through my body before latching his lips on my nipple. A throat my moan fell from my mouth and my legs jolted slightly. My mind continued to fog as he nestled against the sensitive bud, while happily moaning against the soft flesh. I pressed one hand against the front door and another in his hair.

Pants left my lips as I began to squirm underneath his body. "Take me to the bed, please," I begged while looking down at him. " I want you so bad, Kiri."

The redhead detached himself from my breast and gripped my chin. "Say my name, baby." His red eyes stared deeply into my brown ones, taking in every little detail of my expression.

"Eijiro," I said breathlessly.

"Say it again," he broke eye contact and gripped my waist.

"Eijiro."

His hands slipped down the curve of my rear and to my legs. He lifted limbs from off the ground and wrapped them around his waist. I wrapped my arms around his leg immediately afterward and giggled.

He walked further into the dorm room and passed through another dorm. He sits me on the extra-long twin bed and falls to his knees between my legs. Kiri unlatches my strappy heel and tosses it to the other side of the room. While he does the other foot, a smirk presses against his lips.

"What?" I asked while looking down at him.

"I'm just thinking about how this started," he said while smiling. "How my shifty grades gave me the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Stop it," I counter with a blush on my face. "You're exaggerating."

"Baby, I mean it with every fiber of my being when I say this," he leaned forward. "I've wanted to be with you for a while now, I just didn't know if you'd like me back. And I was kinda ashamed of taking so long to say something because you're so sweet and you really helped me a lot with Advanced American History. I didn’t want you to think I was using you for information or anything."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips on his forehead. "I liked you even before I officially knew you. When you beat the shit out of that guy that tried to home a drunk girl."

"I don't even remember that."

"It was during a Halloween party last year, that was when I first saw you. And I thought, "wow I wish more men like him existed in this world"."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"How could I not? You basically saved that girl's life and dignity. You were the only human being in a room full of predators. That's when I knew I wanted you for myself."

Kirishima laughs. "Greedy, little Y/N."

I shrugged.

"Come here."

I gathered the football player into my arms and pressed my lips onto his. Taking in every ounce of his kiss. Sucking on his bottom lip. Slipping my tongue within his mouth. Tugging against his collar to close the distance between us. After a few seconds, Kirishima kissed down my body again until he was face to face with my heated center. He scrunched the dress around my waist and pulled my panties off my legs before spreading my legs wide open.

"Oh… look how wet you are, baby," he kissed the soft skin in between my thighs. "All for me."

Kirishima dipped his head between my legs and took a long swipe at the sticky mess between them. A shiver ran along my spine, Arching my back, I released a soft whimper and spread my legs further apart. He dipped his tongue into the smooth canal repeatedly, bobbing his head as he completed the action. His calloused hands slid up my legs once more and hooked around my thighs. Kiri moved his hot mouth from the very bottom of my womanhood to the top, leaving a long string of spit along the way. The redhead sucked on the protruding bud tenderly; with hollowed cheeks, he looked up from my heat and stared into my eyes. I bit my lip and moaned loudly.

“Fuck, you feel good,” I arched my back against his mouth and bucked my hips slowly.

Kirishima released my bud with a silent “pop” and began lapping the rosy, pink button in great haste. My legs jolted at the new source of stimulation and a throaty whine fell from my lips. Squeezing my eyes shut, I squirmed underneath his mouth, desperately wanting to add more friction. Kiri noticed my slutty movements and began to move his tongue even faster.

“Ah. . . just like that, don’t stop,” my fingers gathered my bosoms and gave them a firm squeeze. The walls of my slick cave began to clench and release themselves at a faster pace. Tingles rose up my body, swirling against my lower abdomen, almost numbing my lower half entirely. Then, a searing sensation ripped through me, causing my hips to raise from the bed and my knees to shake. A low scream left my mouth as I felt the throbbing of my bud increase tremendously.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” My hips fell on the bed again and my legs shook violently. Kirishima steadied them as much as he could before a whole another wave hit my body and my entire being went still.

“Ah! Eijiro!” I screamed as the pleasure shot through my body for the last time. Pants left my throat and short spurts, just as sweat dripped from my forehead. I looked down at Kirishima, who had just pulled away from my spasming cunny. He had a look of astonishment on his face, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked down at my wrecked body, taking in the shaking limbs, the thin layer of sweat upon it, and the scrunched-up dress at the waist.

“You sounded so hot screaming my name,” he finally said after a few seconds of silence. “No one has ever made it sound so good as you.”

“Well, grab a condom and I’ll scream your name for the rest of the night,” I replied with a smirk. “If you can last that long.”

“Oh, baby,” Kiri’s smile widened. “You have no idea.”

He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a box of condoms from the top drawer. He ripped one off the sleeve and walked back over to me. I pulled the scrunched-up dress over my head and tossed it to the side. I looked over at Kiri and he’d already stripped himself of his T-shirt. He was currently unbuckling his belt with the condom packet in his mouth. His massive bulge immediately caught my eye and I moaned in anticipation. Kirishima rips the packet open with his teeth and rolls latex down his throbbing shaft. My walls clench at the delicious sight and I could feel my nipple begin to stiffen

“If you’re still tired, we can wait a little—” Kirishima begins to say before I cut him off.

“Eijiro, stop being nice and fuck me like a slut.”

His lips were on mine within the next heartbeat. His hands roamed every crevice of my body, taking in the soft tissue and stretchmarks lovingly. His throbbing member slowly slid into me with little to no friction. He made sure to thumb my clitoris while inserting himself, just so he wouldn’t hurt me. And I swear, I was seconds away from asking him to marry me. He gently moved his hips backward, and then pushed forward again. Highlighting his first stroke. He looked at the crimson hue on my face and leaned down to kiss me.

“You are so pretty, princess,” Kiri groaned softly, as he moved his hips at a gentle pace. “So, so pretty.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. Our tongues danced together as his member tenderly kissed my sensitive walls with each thrust. Kirishima moaned against my lips, as he took in every part of that union. He hiked up one of my legs and hooked it around his waist while he cradled the back of my neck with the other. He looked into my eyes as he increased the pressure of his strokes and their depth. My mouth hung open, and drool poured from the side of it as he kept up the sickening pace. My eyes began to roll back as throat moans rose from the depth of my body.

“Oh God. . .” I slurred as the pleasure increased within my body.

“Aww look at my pretty baby,” Kiri grunted as he rested his hand on my neck. He pressed his thumb between my lips.

I sucked on the digit and looked into his eyes. He moved his hips faster and my lips separated from around the finger. Pants fell from my lips as I felt his member sensually assault my cervix. After a few minutes, Kirishima suddenly pauses and hikes one of my legs up to his shoulders. He readjusts his body, leaving his hand on my neck and placing his hand on my clit. Kiri began to rock his hips in a powerful, but steady motion. He rubs the throbbing bud in a gentle motion, slowly gathering every ounce of pleasure within my body. The pace of my breathing increased rapidly, as the pool in my stomach began to inflate. Whimpers fell from my lips as I gripped the sheets underneath me.

“I’m so close. . .” I whispered through tight lips. “Please don’t stop. . .”

“You’re squeezing me so deliciously tight, baby,” Kirishima grunts as a droplet of sweat drops from his brow. “Milking my cock for everything it’s worth. What a greedy little cunny you have.”

“Eijiro. . . I wanna cum so bad,” I whimpered through pants. “Please let me cum, baby.”

Kirishima curses under his breath and releases his hand from my throbbing bud. He places both hands onto my neck, thumbs pressing against my jaw. He eases his body forward and keeps his sickening pace. “You’re gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

I sucked in a breath and wrapped my hands around his forearms. I furrow my brows and pant with my mouth open. “You make me feel so good, Eiji. So fucking good!”

“You’re mine, you hear me?” He drops his hands from my neck and presses his forehead to mine. “You don’t get to fuck anyone else. . . . .You don’t get to be with anyone else. . . .My name will be the only name you moan for the rest of your life, do you understand?”

I nod. “I understand.”

“You’re mine and no one else's.”

He pulls me into a searing hot kiss. Drinking in all the love and energy throughout my body. I hook my arms around his neck and moan against his lips. Suddenly, I felt an intense rush of adrenaline pass through my body and everything seemed to go silent. A low ringing noise sounded in my ear as my mouth fell open. I dug my arms into his back and clung to his body. Every fiber of my being tensed and my mind went completely blank for several seconds. Then, slowly, my body released itself and collapsed onto the bed. I opened my eyes lazily to see Kirishima’s eyes tightly closed and his hips slightly shaking. Once he finished his ride, his body relaxed and he lowered my leg from his shoulder. He pulled me into an embrace and pressed another kiss onto my lips.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his crimson eyes. “Were you serious about calling me yours?”

“Ugh. . . yes?” He replied hesitantly. Then, he added “If that’s okay with you! I don’t wanna force you—”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I cut him off with a smirk.

“Oh, I was worried for a second.”

“The only thing you should be worried about is your Advanced American History grade.”

“Oh, right. . .”

“You miss another one of my sessions, I’ll ignore you again.”

“Please don’t! I will be present at every session.”

“Good. And you have to be Starbucks.”

“The drink that tastes like the moon?”

“Matcha latte with 2 pumps of chai. Yup.”

“And two chocolate cake pops.”

“Mhm. You know me so well.”