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valle-de-sombra-de-muerte · 12 days

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Homestuck Reread: Act 4, Part 4/4 (p. 1865-1988)

Read the previous post here.

Oh boy it's the final stretch for this Act. I want to take a moment to express my appreciation for all the new followers I've gained over the course of this reread. I have 60 now, which is incredible. Thank you all!

With that said, this post will contain some... sticky subject matter. I wonder how many of you will choose to dip after this.

[CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of incest starts below the second image]

Oh my fuck it's the ectobiology section. Out of all the convoluted and frivolous mechanics in Homestuck, this one might be the worst in my opinion. Worse than the adventure game jokes cribbed from Problem Sleuth, worse than the punch card alchemy and other ponderous Sburb mechanics... I'd say it's worse than the time travel shit, but this is actually more of a subset of that. So yeah, time travel continues to be the worst thing about Homestuck, and shit like this and the bunny subplot are prime examples of that. But my ire is fully directed at ectobiology at this moment.

The stuff I mentioned before at least has a purpose; they parody needlessly complicated video game mechanics. But ectobiology doesn't have a purpose. It's not funny, nor does it serve the story in a meaningful or even interesting way. So why does it exist? Is it to drive home the point that these select individuals are the "chosen ones" by Sburb? If I had to hazard a guess what Hussie meant by that...

Earth is a vile place and must be destroyed, so sayeth Sburb. Everything living on it is flawed by extension, so its chosen destroyers must be fully disconnected human society and the planet itself. These destroyers have been plucked from the aether and reconstituted from bullshit plot slime in a faraway part of time and space, ensuring that they are unquestionably divorced from anything from Earth, and therefore pure.

Now that I type all that out, it's no wonder none of the kids were all that shaken up about bringing about the apocalypse. Considering that they're essentially game constructs with no actual ties to humanity, it really throws away any sort of conflict and sense of sacrifice brought about by destroying the planet. All the innocents who perished in the meteor showers? Eh, fuck them! They were all NPCs anyway. All hail the slime people!

Okay, I'm sure this wasn't Hussie's actual intent, but if there's no grander symbolism at play, what else is there? None of this adds anything to the plot. The fact that the main cast are non-humans is never touched upon and the whole thing reads as superfluous sci-fi garbage. The only significance the meteors carrying the babies had was that John's Nanna died from a meteor strike. But it was already suggested way earlier that she died because she was crushed by the Colonel Sassacre book.

That was a perfectly serviceable, slightly comedic death befitting of a family of jokesters. There's no need to escalate it and involve a giant meteor.

One other thing I take umbrage with: because the cast were all birthed from the same slurry, this means that Dave and Rose are now """related""". They aren't related by blood, no, but by slime. Which, in the eyes of Hussie and the fandom at large, means the same thing, I guess. Even though they never grew up as siblings, lived separate lives in different parts of the country, and only met online as strangers before developing a (very flirtatiously charged) friendship, the fandom treats them as if they're flesh and blood brother and sister. It boggles my mind. Why is this being treated as legitimate? Did Hussie plan all along to take the two characters with the best chemistry only to pull a Luke and Leia on us? Why would he write them like that if this was his endgame? Does he just have an incest fetish?

I wouldn't doubt it because themes of incest are actually quite pervasive within Homestuck. And that's without even mentioning how Hussie developed an alien race that fundamentally relies on incest to reproduce. Ectobiology creates several relationships, incidental or otherwise, that tie nearly the entire main cast in a complicated web of pseudo-familial dynamics. Like John is actually the kids' progenitor/father because he's the one who brought them all into existence. So even if he isn't related to Rose or Dave by genes or slime, he still gave birth to them in a sense.

I've even seen people say that since Betty Crocker/The Condesce was Nanna's adopted mother, that makes the Egbert/Crocker/Harley/English family tree "related" to the Peixes trolls, so any ship with that combination is "incest." What if I told you that Feferi is related to all the other trolls via bullshit slime mechanics as well? I guess that makes Johnkat incest too. And if John is Dave's father... gasp! Davekat is also incest!? It's over folks, burn everything down.

Anyway, I don't acknowledge Rose and Dave as biological siblings because I don't treat being born from a vat of slime as the same as being birthed from the same womb. That would be treating ectobiology as valid and sensible, which I refuse to do. I don't want to lend Hussie's fixation on incest any amount of approval. All I know is that the trolls are made of the same stupid plot sludge and nobody cares if you ship them. There are no humans and trolls: only slime constructs. Either everyone is related or none of them are. You can't have both.

In the end, none of this matters. The world would be a much happier place if we all collectively agreed to forget ectobiology's existence. If this ruffles your feathers, just block me. Don't come at me because I'll just ignore you.

So Grandpa Harley had time-traveled forward to the future and into Sburb before returning to the past, living out his life on Earth, and dying. Fucking okay I guess!

At least this answers the question I had that yes, Mom Lalonde knew what she was doing before entering the game because Grandpa told her everything. Same with Bro and Dad, it seems.

Ah yes, Dad x Mom. A relationship that ends nearly as soon as it begins. Let's put this right alongside the Exile love triangle and DaveTav in the "relationships that are teased but never manifest into anything meaningful" pile.

"Ackshually, everyone was born from a vat of slime on a distant meteor and sent back to Earth to live out their lives!" - the ramblings of an utter lunatic.

Like god fucking forbid the kids be normal people placed in extraordinary circumstances.

The babies all gravitate to the things they'll have a connection to in the future. Nanna gets her son's hat, Bro gets Cal, etc. Dave clings to Maplehoof, which doesn't seem like a clear connection. Except... that's Rose's horse, isn't it? Ohhh. It all makes sense now. 😏

This exchange is a top 10 Karkat moment for sure.

The supposed saviors that will revive the human race aren't even human, they're slime creatures! Beyond the fact that none of them are human, the Superman analogy falls flat because none of these kids are humanity's protectors. They're just following the whims of a game that ultimately does not give a fuck about any of them.

I need "JOHN EGBERT, YOU HAVE ASSASSINATED MY PATIENCE." emblazoned on a banner or something.

Also Karkat calls Superman a "Caucasian alien" and he also refers to a genie as an "Earth Arabian" in an earlier log.

He really knows a lot about different human ethnic groups, for some reason.

I think about "you always call jail the slammer when you are extra angry" on a somewhat regular basis.

Sassacre is killed, but since he was a human, his death is inconsequential. Grandpa, a slime homunculus just like Nanna, is given new life, which is a cause for celebration. This whole sequence is quite morbid with Sassacre's bloody corpse just hanging out in the frame.

But wait, if Nanna and Grandpa are adopted siblings, and John and Jade are their "genetic children"... augh, never mind! This is what I mean when I say ectobiology produces all kinds of unfortunate relationships. I don't want to think about any of this pseudo-incest anymore. How are there people who make it their whole online careers to dissect this garbage so they can harass people about this shit? Don't they get tired? It's giving me a headache.

Rose is even referred to as John's "daughter" in the title of this flash. I'm not just blowing smoke when I say that John is everyone dad. That's literally what just happened.

Now that we're finally done with this segment, I'll cap it off with this: Nothing of value was added with the inclusion of ectobiology. I know I've been throwing around the phrase "waste of time" in these posts, but this bit of worldbuilding is unequivocally, without a doubt, the biggest fucking waste of time in this entire comic.

Woof. Shall we move on?

While Davesprite and Terezi sort of reconciled in their conversation and formed a bit of a bond, Dave doesn't receive her nearly as amicably. Why is she doing the "1S TH1S YOU" joke with Dave when that was a bit she did with Davesprite?

Oh right, because she thinks that same relationship will carry over to "real Dave". She sees them as the same person just like everyone else. Lovely.

Dave thinks he can burn Terezi by repeatedly insulting her blindness, even though it's clear that it doesn't bother her at all. This is really weak, especially when compared to his log with Tavros where he forced Tavros to block him.

Terezi seems to have completely given up on John and now wants to be annoying and nasty to Dave instead. She has officially been downgraded from minor antagonist to obnoxious interloper.

Tavros could only ever enjoy himself when he could escape to Prospit, be mobile, and most importantly fly. Nobody ever wants to talk about how Tavros has a lot of avoidance issues, how he always shrinks away from action and confrontation, and how he copes with adversity through escapism (both in a figurative sense through his interest in fantasy, and in a literal sense when he dreams on Prospit). A big part of his character comes from Peter Pan, the archetype of childlike escapism! IDK man, it sucks to see people reduce him to this lovable, pure-hearted woobie while ignoring the key part of his character.

Just like with Davesprite, Terezi just needed to send the right drawing for Dave's opinion of her to flip. Fantastic conflict resolution right there.

[S] Descend is the End of Act flash for Act 4. It might be the most ambitious flash up to this point. Lots of guest artists contributed here, and it's at this point where Homestuck really begins to feel like a much more collaborative project instead of solely Hussie's work. I don't mean to discredit the music team when I say that, because they've been around since the start, but this feels more substantial since Homestuck is a primarily visual work.

Anyway, Bro slices a meteor in half to save Dave's life, and later has his rocket board transport Dave into the game safely. Chalk that up to his list of noble deeds to try and balance out his dastardly ones.

Jack fucks shit up indiscriminately, so why does he spare WV? Feels a little out of character for him.

The brief Jack and Bro fight is pretty sweet. I'm not a shonen guy, but I'm getting that same sort of energy from this. Knowing that Bro probably knew all about the kinds of monsters he'd have to fight in Sburb, he has probably been training for something like this for most of his life. Had Jack not gotten god powers, Bro probably could've wasted him.

I like to think that Rose's merging with her doomed self is what causes her to act so destructive and nihilistic from this point on. She wants to destroy the game that killed her.

So okay... when Dave and Rose gave John their bunnies for his present, both of them clearly put a lot of thought in their gifts. Dave gifted him a piece of merch from his favorite movie. Rose restored an old heirloom using John's previous gift to her. Jade assembled "a fun and completely ridiculous thing" that has no sentimental meaning and only carries a vague sense of importance.

Does she just not know what he likes? This is less a gesture of friendship and more of her blindly fulfilling the whims of Sburb. I really struggle to see how Jade fits in this friend group dynamic. She's like the weird kid that the others let hang around out of pity.

Waow! After all that buildup with the box mystery, the bunny and Jack are going to have a showdown! Finally we can see what all the fuss is about and why this bunny is so important.

... Or Jack can just fly away and they never fight at all. Cool Hussie. It's so cool how you spent several pages devoted to this plot point only to let it fizzle out like this. Incredible writing.

How much time do you think elapsed between Grandpa bringing Dream!Jade's corpse aboard his airship and gutting, cleaning, stuffing, and mounting her? He probably did it all after he flew off, but I like to imagine him doing this all before that while Mom and Dad just stood around awkwardly waiting for him to finish.

Act 4 had its ups and its downs. A lot of downs. The ups also felt a little bittersweet because for every intriguing story hook like the Exile love triangle, Dave's relationship with Tavros, Rose and her mother, or anything involving Davesprite and doomed Rose, they all amount to nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Homestuck truly is a collection of fun ideas all unfortunately cobbled together by someone who doesn't know how to properly execute them in a story. The colorful art and the kickass music can only serve to cover up the flaws so much before the veneer peels and you see the ugly cracks underneath. I wish we lived in a world where Andrew "writing is easy" Hussie had an editor to salvage the good stuff and throw shit like ectobiology into the garbage.

If it sounds like I'm wrapping things up, think again. This journey isn't over yet. It's time for Act 5! People like to joke about how you should skip all the way to that one, but after everything I've read so far... I wouldn't blame anyone if they did.

Read the next post here.

#homestuck #homestuck reread #cw incest #john egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #daverose #jade harley #grandpa harley #dad egbert #mom lalonde #bro strider #nanna egbert #karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #tavros nitram #aimless renegade #jack noir #wayward vagabond

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hollowed-theory-hall · 2 months

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How do you think knight bus works? Like a wizard/witch just puts their arm up and it just detects them?

In OotP Tonks summons the bus so probably you have to think about it but how does Harry summons it in PoA? He had no idea about it's existence then.

Does it use a trace? But you can't put a trace on an adult or it's like some sort of charm like voldemort has put on his bame in DH?

Well, let's see what we're told about it:

If he was already expelled (his heart was now thumping painfully fast), a bit more magic couldn’t hurt. He had the Invisibility Cloak he had inherited from his father — what if he bewitched the trunk to make it feather-light, tied it to his broomstick, covered himself in the cloak, and flew to London? Then he could get the rest of his money out of his vault and . . . begin his life as an outcast. [...] Harry stepped backward. His legs hit his trunk and he tripped. His wand flew out of his hand as he flung out an arm to break his fall, and he landed, hard, in the gutter — [...] “Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this eve —” The conductor stopped abruptly.

(PoA, 32-33)

“Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better,” said Tonks, and Harry thought there was nervousness in the glance she threw around the square. Lupin flung out his right arm. BANG. A violently purple, triple-decker bus had appeared out of thin air in front of them, narrowly avoiding the nearest lamppost, which jumped backward out of its way.

(OotP, 524)

It seems there isn't really a spell per se, as Lupin doesn't even use his wand and Harry drops his. All you need to do is stick out your hand. And that's exactly what Stan Shunpike tells Harry: "stick out your wand hand and we'll take you anywhere,"

The Knight Bus was commissioned in 1865 according to Pottermore, so unlike The Trace and other such magics, it doesn't work on an ancient, long-forgotten spell. So, let's narrow down what you really need to summon the Knight Bus to figure out how the bus's magic could recognize it:

Stick out your wand hand over the road. This seems to be supported by all accounts of the bus, and Stan's words.

Wish to be transported by the bus. Magic is all about intention in the HP universe, so the desire for transportation likely plays a part here. This is also implied by Remus, Harry, and Stan to be part of it. Before Sirius scared Harry, Harry was thinking about traveling via broom, about how to live his life from this point onwards, so the intention of transportation was there.

So, how can the Knight Bus's magic recognize this?

Honestly, I think this is its own unique spell. We know spells can be created (as Snape came up with quite a few), and we know some spells are intended to be cast silently (like Levicorpus), so why would summoning the Knight Bus not be like that?

You think about summoning the Knight Bus, that's the intention part of the spell and it's meant to be cast silently. The wand movement is to raise your arm over the curb where you want the Knight Bus to appear (instructions for the spells on how to accomplish its intent), so this spell really gives the magic all the information needed to call the Knight Bus.

If it is indeed a spell like I illustrated, it'll make sense Harry could call it by accident. Spells can be cast accidentally, and this spell is probably no different.

This spell is probably enchanted into the Knight Bus to let it know where it is being summoned to. Basically, the wizard/witch who invented the Knight Bus didn't only invent the bus and all the enchantments to allow it to travel the way it does, but also this spell to summon it that can be cast without a wand. I'd guess it's a spell that doesn't require a lot of magic or finesse to really allow everyone to use it. And I think if whoever the inventor was could enchant the Knight Bus itself, it's not far-fetched to believe they could create a spell like that.

At least, that's my best bet.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #hollowedtheory #asks #anonymous #anon asks #hp magical theory #knight bus

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manicato · 1 year

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Daka Taíno y estoy aquí.

I was the blogger Triguenaista/Inaruri who was stalked and harrassed for 10+ years, while homeless, by Keyla Rivera and her anti-indigenous group “This-is-not-taino". Keyla Rivera, of Florida and Orocovis, PR, a white Puerto Rican, was mostly responsible for this racist behavior.

Since in the last ten years, I have CONTINUED to see my name thrown around as a "validated pretendian/fraud" because of the now-exposed Keyla's behavior- We're just going to need to address it. And since I was doxxed by them, and my full name has been shared with you all, I'm going to go ahead and show you some documents that that hate-group wasn't willing to show.

Let's start with a family tree- ya?

Avelino, was born into slavery in Puerto Rico, approximately 1865, in Arecibo Puerto Rico. To the best of my knowledge (and factoring in the DNA test), he was Afro-Taíno, with strong Nigerian/Western Bantu roots. As noted on the last published Registro Central de Esclavos of 1872 (page 3, 9th person recorded), he was a natural-born Puerto Rican (Natural de Oto Rico).

After abolition in 1873, like many others, Avelino was forced to continue working for 3 to 5 more years. Do Barbara Balseiro (the indicated slave owner) had a working relationship with Felix Marengo y Poggi, and was known to send slaves to work at his plantations.

Through research (1910 census), I found that Maria Baerga y Rivera De Quiñones was a "Mulatto" housekeeper for the Felix Marengo y Poggi in the 1910’s. It is likely that this is where Avelino met her daughter Maria Quiñones Baerga and developed a relationship.

They had son Felix (recorded as negro on census documents, until adulthood/WW2, where he is then recorded as blanco/brown toned (on his Draft card), who married Carmen Martinez.

This is Carmen’s Acta de Nacimiento which indicates race as “Mestiza”, clearly indicating not only direct Taíno heritage/ancestry, but a connection to an existing community as that was the only circumstance in which this term was legally used in PR when they started to write Taínos out of the country. It was and is currently illegal to list someone's race/ethnicity in PR as indigenous. Mestiza and Trigeño is the ONLY exceptions for those with concrete connections.

A Close-up:

On the naciemnto form above her mother is cited as “Vincenta/Vincenda”, from/born in Jayuya. There is a note about her grandparents in part 3. “Ambos de raza mestiza”, Ajiubro Martinez and Juana Martinez from Morovis.

According to family oral history, Carmen Martinez came from a community/family that took care of the Caguana Indigenous Ceremonial site of Utuado before the Instituto de Cultura Puertorriqueña took over with formal protections in 1955.

There may be a relationship between her and one of the 60 Puerto Rican indigenous children taken to the Carlisle Indian School in 1901. Three Martinez children were enrolled there, Provindentia, Levia, and Miguel. My best-informed guess is Provindentia Martinez may be my 2nd great-grandmother as “Vincenta” could be a derivative of the name. If it was Provendentia, she would have been the right age to have a child, settling down in PR after traveling to NY for a few years after her time at the Carlisle School, as recorded in their records. Until better clarification can be obtained, this is just speculation.

Carmen would make and maintain small bohio-like structures in the backyard of the family Utuado home (many were destroyed after Hurricane George, and the rest after Hurricane Maria), to house Semisakis and Opias.

My grandfather, Luis Alfonso Quiñones Sr. was extremely proud and vocal of our rich Taíno heritage and culture. He made sure that we knew our roots and how precious our indigenous ancestry is, and taught us all he could remember.

In terms of direct lineage, my direct Taíno lineage can be traced from my 2nd great-grandfather Avelino, my great-grandmother Carmen Martinez (whom I had the honor of knowing and having a relationship with as a child living in Puerto Rico), and my own grandfather Luis Alfonso Quiñones Sr (who I grew up with).

If "cultural connection"/"growing up in a continuously connected family" was your issue with my indigenous status- clearly I did and have the documentation to show my family's continuous connection.

If it's blood quantum/documented indigenous status- I'm between 3/8th and 7/16th according to my DNA. With the documents I have here, if Tainos were a federally recognized tribe in the US, by the BIA standards, I'd be eligible for enrollment.

And this is all without discussing how history and the laws affect lineage recording or the "Whitening of PR". My family's oral history should have been believed to start with, but now the documentation can be found online. You have your "proof" on the two points yall bring up the most.

So you see why the younger me couldn't figure out why everyone just believed the lies being told? How even now that this hate group was exposed, I don't get why I am the scapegoat for people trying to make a point. Like, I wasn't and am not an educator, nor was I trying to make money in any way (and I was homeless- I needed money and yet DID NOT ASK). I was literally just existing on this hell site and became a target. But yall handed over your cash really quick to this hate group, validated them, and were so shocked when they ended up being frauds and provided yall with NOTHING.

You all believed a white puertorrican that BIPOC's could not be trusted to be indigenous (look at the list, it is EXCLUSIVELY Black and Brown peoples and anyone who stood up for them. It wasn't a "frauds list" until after we all left the platform. That was added AFTERWARDS. And yes, some of us are STILL friends because we were here for the community, not cash or fame). You continue to keep that belief every time you defend it. In the end, ya'll are just being racist and need to stop hurting an already small af community.

Taínos exists. We are here. We are NOT recognized by the US gov't yet. To imply our self-determination takes away from indigenous people is to fundamentally not understand what it is to be indigenous. And, it implies you see the indigenous status as money and not actually living people with complex needs and issues.

I'm glad the rest of the internet has unlearned what this group put into the world about Taínos, but now I'mma need yall on here to minimally stop throwing my name around. Stop it. I am exactly who I have been telling you all I am, whether you accept that or not is NOT my problem. I have the documentation, which is more than can be said about anyone yall have believed in the past.

At least I know who my people are, grew up knowing, and can live happily knowing there are people who disagree in our community because we aren't a monolithic group. Yall just need to treat us as humans.

For those reading for the history of it all- I'm glad to help. If you're trying to figure out your family's documentation- I got great info on how to find the information and who to contact. If you're looking for cultural resources- tainolibrary is LITERALLY the best source and it's free (Note: I have no affiliation with them. I genuinely believe they are a healthy and safe resource for those seeking reconnection/validation).

For those realizing they fucked up in believing my stalker- I accept my apologies in cash.

#inaruri #triguenaista #taino #tainos #caribbean indigenous #tumblr hate groups #this-is-not-taino #Since my name keeps coming up Im going to HAVE to serve some truths #the poll spoke and I posted #Taino ancestry #Indigenous recognition #indigenous #I am so sorry to have gone off like this but I have HAD it #puerto rico history #caribe indigena

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kaedeakeshisworld · 8 months

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I love cake

gist: When I go back to my seat, I observe Beni reading a book and proceed to ask him: "What are you reading?"

"Oh, you’re done how was it?"

"Wonderful, nothing like a hot shower to make me feel better."

"Glad to hear that. I’m reading Izana, a folklore story that deals with the legend of the girls born on the year of the horse. Some sort of curse condemns their existence and the only solution as cruel as it may sound is to kill the kid to inhibit them from bringing misfortune to the village. It was a common practise of clan superiority traditions but it’s extremely nefarious so it has died down to a certain extent."

"Wow! I didn’t know you liked folkore stories like that. I’ll add that to my reading list for this month."

"It will be a wonderful read, I assure you."

"I don’t doubt it."

chapter notes:

Ramyeon*: Korean noodles my fave are kimchi and spicy from shin ramyeon.

Baguette*: French stick type of bread.

Camembert*: Smelly French cheese (some say it smells like feet…)

Cailler*, Läderach ag*, Toblerone* Lindt*: Swiss chocolate brands which happen to be my fave.

Petit beurre*: butter biscuit sometimes covered with milk chocolate or dark one. Its equivalent in the anglo saxon sphere would be graham crackers.

Quatre quarts*: Made up name place but it means pound cake in French.

bruva*: british lingo for brother (another example is how they add chew in tuesday- phonetically speaking).

rad*: crazy, mad about.

Lapis Lazuli*: a hotel name in this fic but is also a crystal often blue as well as song by the Beach House.

Jambon beurre*: literally ham butter sandwich. A very popular combo, if you ever can get a sammy at a French boulangerie, this is a classic.

financier*: a small cake (typically a finger food), can be rectangular or oval which dates back to 1865.

Je suis à Paris, les nanas*: translation Girls, I'm in Paris. Les nanas means girls but sometimes it can also mean boobs. Here is the former but the more you know…

Bukkake*: A collective jizz shower if you get what I mean…

For the pet names list: love, honey, daddy and sir for Leo.

Concerning Palais de la démesure, it is a fic I'm currently writing. Might be out towards like February of this year if work doesn't manage to knock me out first (fingers crossed)!

Cw: sex in a bathroom at the airport(do not reproduce, I Guess), benimaru is a menace, reader getting ate out, attempt to an actual handjob and blowjob but oh well she can't do much because of him, benimaru also is addicted to her so much so he's back at it again in the airplane( a menace he is), consuming porn, group chat talks are the best.

wc: 7096

c/s: this one is quite long, heh!

Blank/Ageless blogs/MDNI, I will block you!

I’ve dreamt of this moment ever since I laid my eyes on her back in uni. I have to pace myself otherwise I’ll just jizz my pants and I don’t want that for my first sexual intercourse with Y/n. Dawg, I sound like a fucking teenager who’s tryna get their very first nut! Why am I so goddam nervous in the first place. Like this is light work but I wanna impress her too…

"So," she commences "what are you going to do about your erection?"

He tells her "Brace yourself on that sink with both hands, if you will?"

"I can do that."

"That’s secure enough for you? You’re not going to do anything which requires the use of my might?"

"Maybe, who knows?"

He gets down on his knees and his hands start fumbling your backside.

I have my hands on uni's most appraised butt. What a fucking legend I am to be the one fondling it. We were little shits back then but what could a motherfucker do besides blame hormones? We were packing and matter of fact I ain’t lose none of the moves from back then. I’ll show her how a real man eats out a woman.

Memories

"Hey, you don’t know what I’d do to get my hands on Y/n’s backside."

"Same! Before I die, if god is real and can grant me one wish, I wanna rest my head on it. You can tell the joint's hella comfortable."

"What if she farts?"

"Are you dumb or you’re acting like it on purpose?"

"He is, poor thing really thought women don’t get gassy."

"You sure you passed them exams to get to uni or maybe you bribed someone?"

"What are you even saying?"

"I said what I said and it stays between us."

"You can’t be the first one who’s done it anyway."

"He’s so spot on."

"Anywho… wanna bet?"

"Bet about what?"

"I’ll touch that butt of hers before any of y’all get the chance to. I’m the best, so place it now."

"Two hundred."

"Fifty ‘cause I’m behind rent this month."

"One thousand if you do it today."

"Sold! Just watch me in action."

"Y/n!"

"Beni! How have you been?"

"Not looking as fine as you do."

"Stop playing."

"I’m just saying the truth."

"Yeah, keep at it."

"I was wondering if we could maybe go to the movies."

"Tonight, I can’t I have a due paper and need to verify some finishing touches before I hand it in but tomorrow, I’m free."

"Tomorrow at ten, then."

He mouths to them when he goes away by Y/n's side 'just watch me, you bunch o’ goons.'

"He acting like he the king or sum?"

"So fucking conceited!"

"He must be high from what he bouta get tomorrow."

Tomorrow evening

"As always, you look superb."

"You don’t look so bad yourself."

"That’s a compliment from Y/n, I’ll cherish it my whole life."

"Really?"

"Pick whatever you’d like, my treat."

"Salted caramel popcorn, butter and sprite. I wouldn’t mind having some sour patch kids…"

"Great choice."

"What about you?"

"I don’t really feel like eating so, candy will be aight."

"You like it?"

"So far, it ain’t bad."

"We’re getting to the scarier bits."

"Okay."

"You can hold me, if you want to."

"I’ll be good."

That’s what she said but her hands were gripping his bicep and her hiding her face on it says otherwise. She really was tryna act strong in front of a horror movie. You should know better!

"It’s gotten better, I promise."

She looks at the screen and the murderers are actually decapitating the victim while performing some sort of ritual which apparently could revive the dead. In answer to him lying to her she smacks his arm.

"Beni! How could you do this to me?"

He chortles so hard which earn him some disapproving looks from other folks who were also in the room.

"I thought it would be nice to prank you. Please, don't hate me. You're so pretty when you get mad."

"You're crazy Beni, on god you are."

At first you think it’s a bit odd or he’s perhaps just getting in the mood so you let him do how he feels it. He hikes up your dress, plays with your undies a little before getting a sharp inhale from the source.

He slides her panties down to her ankles and slowly but surely smooches her pearl. She smells really good down there. He’s glad he gets to taste her essence from the source right away even though licking her clean from her underwear would thrill him too.

His hands grab her cheeks to spread them in a way he can engulf fully her clitoris into his moist hot cavern.

He lets her know that eating her out is one of the many things he enjoys doing when he vibrates around her button. She lets out an almost inaudible squeal which has him struck at first to hear such a sound but women are one of a kind so he’ll try to get to know more sounds like this he’s not so used to hear. Interesting, he considered.

She grips the sink, harder. She also makes a mental note not to make too much noise because they are in a public setting. Yes, with Leo she was inside a car outside but this time things are slightly different she’s in the airport, getting it on with someone who’s had eyes on her for a long time. She doesn’t know what to expect of him in terms of what he can do to her given the current situation she finds herself in. She should be fine, she likes to think this way.

"Just like that, please don’t stop."

He asks her "you like that or you could use some more of my face?"

She spits back "you want me to ride it?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Do we have time?"

"We still have roughly eleven minutes left, so go ahead."

She grabs the back of his head, settles exactly how she feels like she should be using his face like a seat then makes a back and forth motion while trying to keep her composure because his tongue is not really giving her a break like she thought she’d get as if she were in control.

A few moments after she finds herself on her knees, riding his face while she tries to pump his erection with her bare hands, Benimaru somehow forgot how nice acrylics feel on his dick. It’s been a long time since he’s had a wild night similar to the one when he had been summoned at the Palais de la Démesure. He sometimes wishes he were summoned more often but oh, you cannot have everything you want in life now, can you?

Anytime she tries to wrap her lips around his head, he makes her jerk slightly forward with his tongue skills. When she finally does engulf him into her mouth, he lets out a sharp inhale. As she bobs his length up and down he grips her hips harder and sucks on her clit to the best of his ability one could think it has somehow become a competition to see which one of them is going to make the other come the fastest.

When her much awaited release washes over her, her first reaction is to put her hand over her mouth and she remains there, shaking for nearly three minutes atop Benimaru’s face.

"How are you?"

"Better than ever, great I must say!"

"How much?"

"We ended before the actual time so we have five minutes to freshen up, look somewhat presentable not like we were fucking and off, we are."

"I never had someone make me come like that just using my clitoris, only.

I wanna know where did you learn that."

"I can ’t tell you where or who I learned it from all. I can say is that I am thrilled to hear you enjoyed that. I would gladly give you another clitoridian orgasm whenever you feel like having one. I am at your service anytime."

"That’s so refined of you. Is that how you get women?"

"No, not my preferred method to say the least."

"Then, how do you proceed, I’m curious now?"

"Well…" he says meanwhile he buttons up his pants. "May you please remind me how I got you."

"Uhm… I don’t quite remember how that went. I could use a little help if you know what mean."

"Y/n you’re being incredibly hurtful in my opinion. How could you do this to me?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"I invited you to have breakfast with me, we talked for a bit. I made you laugh and got you on a trip abroad with me. So far, aren’t you enjoying it?"

"You’re right about that. We’ll see that when we’re finally in Paris."

She takes off her panties and discards them.

"You’re not going to wear panties during our flight?"

"They’re soaked. I’m not doing that to her plus, a little wind won’t hurt."

"You’re right maybe, I should do the same."

"No, you should hurry up. I’ll go out first and send you a message when you can come out."

"We cannot be seen exiting this room together."

"Okay. I’ll wait for the message."

On board

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten up your seatbelts."

"What are we going to do once we land there, Benimaru?"

"For the very first few nights, we’ll stay at a hotel if all goes according to plan that is, then later we’ll go to a house that I rented. That way, we’re not permanently in Paris throughout the whole trip because it may be the city of love but it’s not able to fit all of us who wish to be there."

"You meant you wanted to move there someday?"

"I would love to but the housing situation is enough to provide me with a decent headache, I don’t need that on a daily basis."

"Oh, I get it but maybe you should try moving to the suburbs. I’m sure you’d find your happiness there."

She’s probably not wrong. I’m sure one can find a nice place within an hour difference from Paris.

Meal

"The baguette is rather stale, if you ask me. The salad’s okay, the camembert too, a glass of wine, the onion soup with and we got macarons for dessert. I think I’ll ask for a bowl of ramyeon* later in the day, I know I’ll be hungry.

"What did you get?"

"I opted for cantonese rice, a side of pickled okra, a pudding and I also have boxes of chocolate."

"How did you get chocolate?"

"Complimenting the flight attendant goes a long way…"

"You’re telling me I should do the same?"

"No, I have two boxes, one for me and the other for you."

"Can I see the goods?"

"Here you go."

"Normally, we have Cailler*, Läderach ag*, Toblerone* and Lindt*."

"Oh, how I love Swiss chocolate!"

"I know you do."

"Should we share?"

"Only if you want to."

"Swiss liquor ones or petit beurre*?"

"Why not both?"

"You’re right," she lets out "we should treat ourselves."

You both bite them. Now for the Swiss liquor, you popped one into your mouth.

"Y/n you have something on your upper lip."

You look at it, you can’t see what he’s just mentioned. He said "I’ll get it for you."

He approached your face, touched your upper lip with the pad of his finger and then kissed you. It caught you by surprise, you gave in didn’t even fight back.

"What was that for?"

"I was always told that chocolate liquor tastes better if it’s comes from someone else’s mouth so I wanted to put it to test."

"You’re trying to impress me or did I miss something?"

"We can try it again if you want to, you can kiss me this time."

"Beni～ is it because you didn’t get to do it earlier?"

"It probably is."

"We should watch a movie together."

"Then, I’ll leave the choice to you."

"That’s okay with you?"

"Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?"

"You think my seat has enough space for us?"

"I’m sure it’s the case. We should get comfy."

"Are you sure the flight attendant is not going to catch us?"

"We aren’t doing nothing illegal Y/n, just watching a movie."

"I’ll sit first, you sit on me and get the covers."

"What did you pick?"

"You’re going to see."

"Paprika or Tokyo godfathers?"

He doesn't answer. He does love how you keep asking him what you're going to watch. It's amusing for him.

Midway through the movie, your head peacefully rested on Beni’s chest while he stroke your thigh aimlessly just reeling at how much he wanted this brief moment to last.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, it’s a bit hard to follow but I think I’m getting the hang of it."

"I’m happy to hear that."

"I told you to pay attention to it and you’re getting sleepy on me. No can do."

His dominant hand snaked right into your panties while the other delicately fondles one of your boobs. You were about to protest but the way he does everything in sync makes it die on your tongue.

You feel encouraged to rub your bud against his fingers while he smooches behind your ear.

"Beni～," you managed to utter between each moan he dragged out of you.

"Yes!"

"You’re going to continue even if I stop, right?"

"By all means, my love. You’re paying attention to the movie?"

"How can I- -"

"Tsk, I told you to keep your eyes on it."

"You’re being so mean!"

"I’m not, I’m giving you some relief before tonight’s much needed rest."

"What happened to the Beni I met at my place before coming to the airport?"

"Never heard of him. We can talk about him if you want to…"

"Such a joker."

Shower

"I can shower here."

"Yes, you can. I’ll ask the flight attendant to show you where it is."

"Oh that’s wonderful. Are you going to do it too, Benimaru?"

"No I’m good, I’ll shower when we get to the hotel."

"I was wondering I think we should go to the Louvre museum."

"Oh you’d like to go there. No problem."

"You rock!"

"On the first day or can it wait?"

"Maybe on the second or the third even…"

"You’d like to go by yourself or be in company of someone?"

"You have somewhere to be?"

"No, I’m just asking."

"I would like it to be with you."

"We’ll do that."

In the shower while everything has been going perfectly well, you’re suddenly hit with a wave of sadness when you’re washing up. The goods you’re using on this flight smell exactly like ones Leo wore the first time you two ever met. It feels wrong to remember him fondly when a few hours earlier you were sitting on Benimaru’s face and he made you come like that. Is it greedy of mine to want both of them doing unspeakable things to me? I’m sure it isn’t, you laugh it off. For the time being you should enjoy your deserved time in Paris by Beni’s side. Everything else shall fall into place.

When I go back to my seat, I observe Beni reading a book and proceed to ask him: "What are you reading?"

"Oh, you’re done how was it?"

"Wonderful, nothing like a hot shower to make me feel better."

"Wow! I didn’t know you liked folkore stories like that. I’ll add that to my reading list for this month."

"It will be a wonderful read, I assure you."

"I don’t doubt it."

Bedtime

"No, I’ll make your bed for you. After all, that’s the service you paid for."

"You did, Benimaru?"

"Yes, love."

"Sorry then."

"I was wondering if can I get some infusion before bed?"

"Indeed, is there anything like flavour you’d like to have?"

"Chamomille would be wonderful, that is if you have that."

"Definitely! I’ll check but I’m ninety eight per cent sure we have it."

"Here is you infusion, would you like some sugar with it or honey?"

"Honey would be lovely."

"Here you have it. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Everything was perfect. Thank you."

"You’re welcome, please, do not hesitate."

"I suggest you rest as much as you can, we have an eventful day tomorrow."

He kisses her forehead and tells her "Goodnight love."

Breakfast

At last we get to have a proper Parisian meal which is made up of the mandatory classics like a croissant, pain au chocolat, tartine with jam and butter. A double shot espresso coffee with a dash of milk. And for the fiber, a fruit salad.

"We’ll arrive at Paris in a bit less than two hours."

"I can’t wait for it. I am so excited."

"We’re currently at the airport. We’ll most certainly eat before we get to the hotel. I ordered a few of my men to get me a car but given it’s weekday time and peak hours for traffic jams, they’ll be here in about an hour."

"Got it."

"What should we do then?"

"We can get some snacks for the time being the hotel check in is only at eleven roughly."

"Let's go to a drugstore then I have to stock up on sunblock and I should also get me some nuxe products."

"Lead the way, I’ll follow you."

"What do you think of this?"

"It smells really good, you should buy it."

"If you insist…"

Get some sheet masks because this flight dried up my skin terribly.

Perfume should I pick vanilla or strawberry? I don’t feel like choosing so get both. I know he’ll like it, anyway.

"To Lapis Lazuli* we go."

"It’s not in Paris, it’s nearby and what do you take me for a pigeon maybe?"

"Hotels in the very centre of the capital are a pain in the ass, I don’t like that type of hassle. I picked somewhere not so well know so that way in two days or so we can leave for the house I rented."

"Mother why are you trying to monitor your son who’s on a trip with the girl he loves?"

"That’s my job."

"Don’t you have more important matters to attend at the moment?"

"Like what for example?"

"I don’t know, maybe not worrying about me?"

"Okay, darling bring me some souvenirs and take care of that girl you cherish so much."

"I will, bye mother."

Someone gently wakes you from your slumber. You really don't feel like opening your eyes and he didn't want to wake you up since you were serenely sleeping. He has to.

"Y/n, Y/n, can you hear me, love? I’m so sorry to wake you up, we’ve arrived at the hotel. I know you must be knackered but try to be awake at least for the check in. As soon as we’re done with it, I’ll carry you to our room."

"Okay."

Honestly, you don’t know what came over you back in the car. One could guess the sound of the engine was enough to lull you into Morpheus soothing arms. It felt nice to rest on Beni’s shoulder, he’s such a gentleman he even covered you with his jacket.

After a little much needed nap which lasted over three hours and a half, you decided it was time to let the girls know if you made it to Paris. You let out as soon as they pick the phone up in your best French accent:

"Je suis à Paris, les nanas*!"

"I’m jealous," Marjorie said.

"I wish I were a squirrel," Theresa added.

"Lordt, what have I done to deserve this?" Bianca drammatically uttered, she continued with "Girl, where the Eiffel Tower at?"

"Yeah, let us see that," Theresa announced.

"Word!" Marjorie claimed.

"I will when I get there, I promise." you told them.

"How’s our new knight, babes?" Theresa asked.

"He’s good?!"

"Or is he," she widens her eyes, "better than Leo?" Bianca inquired.

"Uhm… hard to compare them like that." You answered.

"Oh, our girl needs time." Marjorie declared.

"Yup, evaluation period is necessary." Theresa disclosed.

"Girl is that a hickey on your pulse point?" Bianca asserted.

"Shiiit… he don’t waste time!" Marjorie added.

"Like you said, he don’t." Theresa suggested.

"He hella fast!" Bianca replied."

"A lot has occurred!" you shyly added.

Marjorie had a 'ah' moment where she smacked her fist on top of her other hand. She communicated the following thought "You fucked in the plane?"

"You living’ la vida loca, if you did. No judgement, babes. I'm not God's servant and don't plan on becoming one." Theresa highlighted.

"Oh, heck yes! Girl, you better get it." Bianca championed.

"No, he had me ride his face in the airport." You finally let them know.

"Hello 911, I would like to report depravity in a public restroom. Please, make sure to be here in fifteen minutes…"Marjorie joked about it.

The other girls are cackling on the phone way too hard and honestly you also ended up getting teary eyed with all this laughter. Good times!

"You livin’ the dream. I hope you really sat on it." Bianca implied.

"Tell us more, you ouchtea living that erotica book lifestyle!" Theresa stated.

"I swear I’m not. I feel a little lost." You uttered.

"About what?" Theresa suggested.

"Spill the beans, babe." Bianca voiced.

"We’re listening." Marjorie delivered.

"Leonard seems like a past thing now. I know I asked for a break but I can’t help and sometimes see him in Beni." You said.

"I think I know what you mean."Bianca estimated.

"You’re not wrong for thinking that." Marjorie conveyed.

"It’s not something to worry 'bout. I'm sure the future has something better in store for you." Theresa responded.

Benimaru knocks on the door. He asks:

"Y/n, we’re leaving for an afternoon tea in half an hour."

"Girls, hold on. I’ll be back in a few."

"Okay. I’ll be ready by then."

"May I come in?"

"Yes."

"I just need a few documents for a business partner who happened to come. I won’t bother you for long."

She goes back to her phone and Bianca really shouts on the phone,

"Is that him?"

"Girl, being discreet never been your forte."

"I second that."

"Yes, it is."

"Make him say hi, I’m tryna see something."

"Beni?"

"Yes, my love."

"Would you mind saying hi to the girls on the phone?"

"It would be a pleasure, honey."

"Just so you know, Bianca is the girl with curly hair, Theresa has a mullet Marjorie is the redhead."

"Okay. May you let me see them?"

"Undoubtedly."

She puts the phone in front of him and he pulls her closer to him "Hi, I am Beni, the man who’s currently taking care of your friend abroad."

"Pleasure to meet you Bianca, Marjorie and Theresa!"

"Waouh! He looks so good like that." Marjorie acquiesced.

"Is that gel on your hair or something else?" Bianca questioned.

"No, it’s wax. Thank you for noticing." And he winks at her. What is he doing?

"You’re treating our girl right, right?" Theresa inquired.

He looks at her "Am I treating you right," he grabs her chin and caresses her lips with his thumb, "sweetie?"

On the other side of the line, the girls are going off with their much awaited exclamations such as "Lord!! This is way to hot. Am I currently in the city called hell?" Marjorie said.

"Damn it gurl, he really had to pull that move on us? Called us single in many ways. I feel ashamed now." Theresa uttered.

"Jeez… I got a man but to be pampered that way is a dream." Bianca replied.

For a few minutes it was as if the girls never made part of the convo so they waited for an answer you never gave. It was him who told them.

"I’m sure I'm taking care of her fairly well. As you can see she forgot to respond you and if it’s not the case, she’ll let you know. That way you can get me back on track, isn’t that right, girls?"

Theresa: Absolutely!

Bianca: No problem!

Marjorie: Got it!

"See, your girls have your back Y/n. Now, if you excuse me.

It was lovely to get to meet you guys. I hope we can meet in person, sometime. I have some matters to attend. I wish a wonderful afternoon to all of you."

And with that he leaves, giving you a forehead kiss in the process.

"That’s how he treats you," Bianca added "you a lucky bitch, I have to admit."

"Girl… I want that lovey dovey too," Marjorie communicated.

"Let me put spirit on speed dial for you gurls, do not waver. I got you."Theresa said.

"Theresa thank you for saving us,"both Marjorie and Bianca answered.

"What’s planned for now?" Theresa questioned.

"Oh, we’ll go to a tea place later."

"Ooh, nice." Bianca blurted.

"Don’t forget the pics." Marjorie reminded her.

"Have fun!" Bianca enthusiastically yelled.

"And tomorrow, we’ll go to the Louvre museum."

"Sis! Switch places, asap!" Marjorie cried out.

"What are you saying, Marjorie?"

"Don’t listen to them, Y/n just live it up."

"I’m heading to my pilates class so, bye babes. Take care."

"You’re instructing now?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations Bianca! I knew you would make it."

"Imma doze off after being on night shifts for the month you know, tryna make ends meet…"

"I get it, you should get your well deserved rest."

"The online sales are doing a bit too well so much that I can barely keep up with orders. I’m grateful for my efforts are finally paying off."

"You’re so right, I’m happy for you. Love you."

"Me too."

"See ya!"

"Bye."

Now, I’m left with choosing the outfit. I think it’s safe to check the weather to avoid any unwanted surprises and maybe a hoodie. It looks windy out here and don’t want to risk getting sick, I’m not taking any chances.

"What do you think about this dress?"

"Whatever you put on will look divine on you."

"Really?"

"Surely!"

"You’re not really helping, you know that?"

"Sorry. I’m a simple man for a lot of stuff."

"No need to apologise."

I’ll put on boots with the fit just because it looks better. A lil’ make up nothing too extravagant and fix it with the setting spray.

"Can you twirl for me?"

"Why?"

"I just want to admire your beauty. Is that too much to ask?"

"No." You proceeded to executed what he told you to do. You twirled on your feet. When you're back to your initial position, facing him, he proclaims the following about you: "You look divine! Sometimes, I do wonder why is that I didn’t get you for me only, sooner…"

"Why is that?" You beamed with curiosity.

"Because we look great together."

You have to acknowledge him. He doesn't lie. A quick glance on the mirror facing his back and you two do look magnificent as a pair.

"We do."

"And I love to watch your body quiver with pleasure."

"You want me to tell you everything I adore about you, too?"

"If you feel like it go ahead."

"You're being cocky, stop it."

"I love being cocky. There's nothing wrong with that plus I get to watch you being under my spell. What more could I ask?"

"I think we should get going."

At the tea place un Quatre quarts*, you followed Beni and the waitress to a room he reserved for the both of you.

"This way, we’ll be on our own and have a little privacy."

"This place is so cozy. I love it."

"I am delighted to hear you do. The owner is a friend of mine whom wanted to become a firefighter because it was a job her parents admired so much but her passion was baking and watch people eat her creations. So naturally, she seized the chance to become what she was truly made for."

It’s the first time you’ve seen Beni talk about someone else with such eulogistic manner and that allows you to watch one his his many facets appear right before you. Yes, Beni’s hot and all that (without a doubt) but it’s extremely refreshing to see him being so affectionate towards someone else other than you. It almost makes you want to sit on his lap and kiss his forehead. Something that Leo never triggered like emotion: being proud of the one you’re currently with. Wow, it did render you speechless.

"We should take a look at the menu, I’m sure what they have is also really good."

"Sure. If it’s as good as you, I’ll bite."

"Earth to Beni? Beni, do you hear me?"

You waved your hand in front of his face, "Beni are you even listening to me?"

You try again "Oi!"

"Yes."

"What got you smiling like that?"

"You."

"Oh, really?

"Why would I be lying to a pretty girl like you?"

"Okay, I get it. Do you plan on embarrassing me the whole time?"

"Beautiful beings should be appreciated with all my praise. I’m making sure I don’t miss mentioning it very often."

"My handsome man."

"I’ll get a strawberry sponge cake and a dandelion tea, I think trying a financier* is good too."

"That sounds delicious. I’ll get a jambon beurre* because it’s been so long since I’ve had one. With a double shot of espresso."

"How do we get to call the waiter?"

"Press on the button present on the middle of the table, one of them will come right up."

Your both enjoying your meal you got a bite of Beni’s sammy and decided you wanted one too. You also fed him a bit of your food and he smiled with all his teeth showing. So cute, you thought.

Someone is coming to your table. By the way they’re dressed, you can grasp that they work in the kitchen of the establishment with a high hair up do, a neat rouge on her lips and a winged eyeliner trait neatly done to die for.

What’s the most striking about her face is the fact that she has heterochromia which makes her even more charming. Her left eye is blue while the right one is green. Like how can one be that beautiful? Girl I feel like rubbing my eyes to check of I’m not seeing things…

"Annelyse!"

"Benimaru!"

"How have you been?"

"Is that how you greet a childhood friend, huh? You come to Paris but don’t even think about contacting me beforehand?"

"Aw, come on don’t be so harsh on me?"

"Harsh, bruva* you don’t got any manners and you’re talking about me being abrasive on you? Revalute your choice of words for all that is deemed sacred!"

"Okay, I’ll do that."

"And much rude of you not to introduce me to the beauty sitting in front of you?"

You’re saying that about me… well, well, well, look at you? I’m starting to second guess myself about men?

"I was about to get to it."

"Then…"

"Her name’s Y/n L/n."

"The infamous university girl you were rad* about? Took you long enough to finally date her, were you scared or someone scared you? She asks him never taking her eyes off of you.

"My pleasure to meet Benimaru’s" she mouths "obsession."

"Same."

"You may ask me anything you feel like knowing about him. Please, do not hesitate."

"Annelyse! I thought you were on my side."

"I never said the contrary so… Stop imagining shit!"

"Her beauty is…"

"I know what you mean. The term you’re looking for probably is enthralling or should I say bewitching."

"More the last one than the former."

"She stole some of my high school girlfriends to let you know about the tea."

"She did that? How could…she do that to you?"

"Didn’t she have her eyes on you while she was talking to me?"

"Yes."

"What did you feel when she was looking at you the way she does?"

"Oh, that’s you you mean…"

"Exactly, that’s how she gets them."

"How many?"

"I can’t actually tell you. You’d think I’m a serial dater if I tell you."

"No, I mean it’s fine by me."

"Did you ask Leo that?"

"No, he told me without me asking matter of fact why do suddenly mention Leo You got beef with him."

No, I had a plate of seafood boil with him. If I tell her this, she'll probably sulk the whole time we're here. I better not act childish right now.

"Why are you siding with someone you’re on a break with?"

"That’s not what I meant."

"I can’t and won’t have beef with him. It would be stupid of mine."

"May I know more?"

"Indubitably! Look up Palais de la Démesure and tell me what you think about it after you’re done reading what you’ve found online. Just a warning, you might not like what you see. One thing is certain, you won’t ever ask me about me being jealous of another man, ever again. It won’t cross your mind."

"We’ll meet Annelyse later this week because there is something she wants to show you. Are you okay with it?"

"I mean why wouldn’t I be okay with what she has to show me…"

"Did you have the time to look it up?"

"Yes, a little."

"What have you learned about it, then?"

"It is a common event and matter in your life alongside Leo’s one."

"Did you look for the translation of the terms?"

"No, I didn’t."

"Wouldn’t you like to know? Curiosity hasn’t stricken you yet?"

"Go ahead and just deliver…"

"Wild Palace or the Palace of Excesses. A place where all of your wicked fantasies shall become true as there is no place for the term undoable to echo in those rooms."

"Honestly, sounds like a good time for me! How do I enter there?"

"You can’t. You have to be summoned by the person who’s the current owner of the place."

"Do you know him?"

"No, no one does. Apparently, he’s a regular man like many of us but each year brings about a new owner. Something about the constant change makes the place more modern, one could say."

"You liked the time you spent there?"

"Yes, it was phenomenal."

"I would love to hear it, sometime."

Back at the hotel

I reminisce vividly of it.

How can one forget a whole week spent with other four men and a woman whom was willing to be used as our personal fuck toy? Of course, there was no way for us to know who she was, what’s her government name or even if she was an inhabitant of the city. We were just told to please ourselves to our hearts content as long as we respect each other in an environment where pleasure and bliss are keywords.

That year, a woman of high ranking was the owner of said palace which made circumstances highly advantageous for women. I must salute her for her proactive measures. Women were the centre of attention and I personally loved that for them. She had also added another rule which was If the woman you’re currently with tends to have more sex with you than all the other guys it could potentially mean that she might want to spend a week with you only and you’ll be assigned to a private suite for such doings, of everything follows through, naturally.

Later on

While browsing on the web about what Benimaru had told me about. I fell upon one porn link. I didn’t really specify what it was or who starred in it but I could get a vague feel that it was amateur type shit, you know, the good stuff which is not staged.

On the screen I see such a voluptuous black woman getting it on with five masked men. The thing is I don’t even know why but somehow wish it were me getting thrown around like that. Yes, she’s livin’ her best life, that is certain but the way she’s on them?? Wow, teach me your ways, girl! She’s got three dicks in her, she’s jerking one with her and has another man who sandwiched his dick between her tits. Long story short, I’m not even halfway through the video that Benimaru barges in the room talking ‘bout "Have you seen my glasses?"

I throw my phone ‘cause I’m not got hide it right and act like I actually am looking for it with it.

"I don’t know," she stammers "hum, where did you leave them?"

"On the night table, normally."

"Okay, I’ll go check if it’s there."

"Is it a grey box?"

"Yes."

"Here you have it, check if it’s inside, you never know."

He does it. "Thank you love and he kisses your lips." That unexpected move really caught you off guard. And he leaves just like that.

And I go look for my phone right where I threw it. Next plan, I can see her now bouncing on three peens while the other two men jerk their manhood as she keeps her mouth open with her tongue out. So raunchy, yet it’s making your panties wet.

The end of the video is topped with a bukkake* scene but what’s new honestly, when it comes to an orgie. I’m left drier than motherfucking saltfish before it is plunged in water for its saltiness to go away.

I know I wanted more than anything a sugardaddy yet after watching this, I’m starting to revaluate my choices. I’m young after all so I should get all the fun I want. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Benimaru is fine but I don’t mind getting another man to take care of me like Leo used to.

I still have his number on my phone, it wouldn’t hurt to call him. I’m just checking how he is doing without me…

On the other side of the globe

"And that is the main reason why we should review the budget for our next big hit. Mister Burns, are you here with us?"

He doesn't really seem like he's in his element…

"Yes, as always excellent presentation Hay Linn, I will excuse myself for now.

If anyone has questions regarding the matter, please, do not waver contacting me or Hay Linn here present. We’ll gladly get back to you as soon as possible.

And with that you’re all dismissed."

Two employees chit chat about their general feels concerning their very first year working for Leonard's company:

"Did you see? Ceo Leo is so nice, I’m so happy we have a boss like him!

"Heck yes, you’re so right about that."

Look, he’s looking rather gloomy these past few days. Does anyone know what happened?

"Sugarbaby gate."

"Oh, that."

"Without a doubt. It has to be it."

"Wait, isn’t that field always like full or maybe shortage has ravaged it?"

"I don’t think it’s that simple…more like he might have to let go of someone he really liked."

"I don’t feel like talking about it anymore. Gon’ make me sad and shit."

"Same here."

Leonard Burns sits down at his desk and runs his hand through his luscious white hair. This day hasn’t been his best but he must remain focused, otherwise rumours will spread like wildfire about him and his rather blue face.

As he tries to cheer himself up to the best of his ability, his phone starts buzzing on his desk. Who could it be at this time of day? He doesn’t have any planned phone calls he quickly checked his schedule before eventually answering that phone call.

"Good afternoon."

"Hello! Am I on the phone with," she pauses before uttering the following terms, "Sir Leonard Burns?"

"Yes, the one and only. How may I help you?"

"Oh, now you’d like to help me. How gentlemanlike of you. Have you forgotten me, perhaps?"

"I’m not sure what you mean, miss. Are you sure we have met before?"

"I am or maybe I should’ve said Daddy Leo?"

"It’s you Y/n, how are you doing? Are Paris and Benimaru being kind to you?"

"I’m a little hurt because you didn’t remember me right away. I am doing well, thank you for asking. Yes, they’re treating the best they can. How are you, my Leo?"

But I somehow know you'd treat me the best as always…

"I’m doing okay, I guess…"

"I know we are on a break but I miss you. I diligently hope we can meet as soon as I land back there. There’s a lot of things I have to let you know.

And you can’t do that on the phone, am I right?"

"As always, you’re so alert."

"You planned to torture me on the phone with that mellifluous voice of yours all day long or you’re going to let me go?"

"I’m not keeping you captive, baby unless you’d like me to!"

"You’re playing with fire Y/n, I advise you not to do it."

"But what’s wrong if I like doing it with you, daddy? Are you going to spank me when I’m back? I’ve grown to like the sting I get each time one your firm hand lays a hit on my delicate skin."

The worst bit of this call is that Leonard is fighting so hard not to get a hard on because that's the last thing he would like to deal with while he's at work, in his office. Yes, people will knock on the door before entering but if he gets one, he'll have to tend to it on the spot.

"I will if you want me to."

"That’s what I like to hear. See you when I’m back then, rawr…"

"I’ll see you then, Y/n."

Chapter 6 of After all, it's not a bad idea to get a sugar daddy

Any kind of interaction is widely welcome!!

Translations/ modifications/replicas/property of my work are strictly prohibited. Do not repost/ recommend/ share it elsewhere!

#leonard burns smut #leonar burns x black reader #shinmon benimaru smut #fire force smut #black reader smut #poc reader #enn enn no shouboutai smut

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priestess-of-the-north-west · 1 year

Text

Vegtamr means not 'The Wanderer', I think, but something like 'he that unwilds the way'

Vegtramr is the name Óðinn himself chose to hide his identity in the poem Baldrs draumar (in later editions called Vegtamskviða).

This is the only poem in the Poetic Edda where this name can be found. It is not mentioned in the Prose Edda.

The original poem was found in the Arnamagnæan Codex and copied later. This is a fragment of the only currently existing copy of the poem (in Manuscript AM 748 I 4to, dated 14th century).

The subject and style of Baldrs draumar link it to the Vǫluspǫ́: four lines of stanza 11 are nearly identical to Vǫluspǫ́ 32-33.

It has, therefore, been suggested that the same author may have written Baldrs Draumar and the Vǫluspǫ́ in the first half of the tenth century.

In Stanza 6:

(Óðinn kvað) Vegtamr ek heiti sonr em ek Valtams segðu mér ór helju ek mun ór heimi

Henry Adams Bellows, in 1936, translated it like this:

(Odin said) Vegtam my name I am Valtam's son Speak thou of hell for of heaven I know

Benjamin Thorpe, in 1865:

Vegtam is my name, Valtam's son I am Tell me of Hel From Earth I call on you

James Allen Chisholm, 2005:

I am called Vegtam and am the son of Valtam Tell me about Hel I am a man from Midgard (PotNW: I find this weird; translating 'mun' into man.)

Edward Pettit, 2023:

I am called Vegtamr I am the son of Valtamr tell me news from Hel I remember [things] from home

or, more literally translated by Dr. Marion Ingham:

I am called Vegtamr I am Valtam's son Tell me from Hel I will [tell you] from the world

From this stanza, the poem itself ("I want to ask", "I want to know"), and the many other stories about Óðinn that paint a picture of someone always seeking wisdom or knowledge, I see no good reason to translate Vegtamr into 'The Wanderer'.

Wandering has a sense of 'randomly walking about', and is translated as 'someone that travels aimlessly', which makes little sense to me.

Time to pull out the dictionaries and go on a little adventure!

Photo by Bluewater Sweden on Unsplash.

VEG

Old Norse Vegr - way, path, road, distance, side, direction, route, mode, manner, direction, to go, proceed (Lexicon Poeticum, Zoega and Claesby/Vig)

Proto Germanic *wegaz - way, path

Proto-West Germanic *weg Descendants: Old Frisian: wei West Frisian: wei Old Saxon: weg Old Dutch: weg Middle Dutch: wech Dutch: weg

TAM

Old Norse Tamr - tame, familiar, ready Tamiðr - made tame, familiar, ready (Dutch: timide) Tamning - taming, breaking in (Dutch: temmen) Descendant Icelandic: Tamur - tame, which one is accustomed to, that one readily uses (is willing). And an amusing one: Tams-vöndr (Tamsvendi) - a taming-wand, in Skírnismál 26. (Zoega)

Proto Germanic *tamaz - tame Antonym: *wilþijaz - wild

Proto-West Germanic *tam Descendants: Old Frisian: tam, tom (tom when in compounds) West Frisian: tam Old Saxon: tam Old Dutch: *tam Middle Dutch: tam Dutch: tam

Meanings of Tame (source):

Not or no longer wild, domesticated.

(of animals) Mild and well-behaved; accustomed to human contact.

(figurative, of a person) Well-behaved; not radical or extreme.

Boring, not exciting, bland, dull, flat.

Crushed, subdued, depressed, spiritless.

So...

He 'tames the road', or a little more abstract (since 'veg' kan also mean 'manner' or 'mode') 'he tames the way'. It's no longer wild, but he is in control of it.

We may also decrypt this as 'he learns the way' 'he figures out the directions' 'he is accustomed to the road' 'he knows the path' 'he is familiar with the route' 'the road is ready for him' 'he knows how to use the road' 'he is willing to use the road' And a few rougher guesses: 'he leads the way' (?) 'he knows where to go' (?) 'he knows how to proceed' (?)

A fast thought leap, since he seems to know the way to Niflhel and back and travels there on Sleipnir (as we can read in this poem), we could even think of him as 'Traveller between the worlds', a common term in esoteric schools. (Thinking out loud here, nothing final.)

Finally, here's one for my fellow-Dutchies: Wegtemmer (It made me smile; I hope it does the same for you.)

Photo by Monty Allen on Unsplash.

#vegtamr #vegtamskviða #Vǫluspǫ́#10th century #viking age #old norse #oudfries #oudnederlands #Noordzee-germaans #oudsaksisch #Óðinn #hel #my research #poetic edda #14th century

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aurelianasrandomramblings · 1 year

Text

German Writing

Surely almost everyone of has seen or heard about the blackletter font Fraktur once. It was once the typical german printing font from the 16th century until the switch to antiqua fonts that began after the first world war and was made mandatory by the nazis in 1941.

Example made by me with a computer Fraktur-font:

Transcription: Fraktur and Schwabacher Schrift were used for german printing until 1941.

But that wasn't the only special german writing that existed. The deutsche Kurrentschrift ("german Kurrent"), also falsely called Sütterlinschrift (He only made the last form), is the cursive form of Fraktur. I had to learn writing (unusual for my job, but my trainers think/ know that it makes the over part easier) and reading it during my training to be an archivist. Many handwritten documents in german archives are written in Kurrent, even after the second world war, since most people who were adults during the switch didn't change to "normal cursive". So you got Kurrent writing up until the seventies depending on archive type.

These are two alphabet tables from wikipedia. The first is from 1865 and second shows Sütterlins variant from 1911. Both lack the alternative "e" with a gap(?) in the middle.

And this is a example I made with a computer font version. (Guess the poem ^^)

Not all Writings are this nice. Being handwriting a Kurrent document can range from easily readable even for a beginner to barely decipherable even for experienced archivist.

#writing #fonts #germany

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audreydoeskaren · 3 years

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I have a question, did Ming women wear puffed up skirts, was this a specific period of time or was it not common and out of the norm for Ming women / Ming skirt silhouette? Would trousers under the pants be common or was it a another type of undergarment?

Hi, thanks for the marvelous question. As far as I'm aware of actual puffy skirts were only popular for a very brief time in the late 15th century, notably the 1470s and 80s. Apparently this trend was not limited to womenswear, as there is written and visual evidence of men wearing robes with puffy skirts as well.

Source here

Closeup of 明宪宗元宵行乐图 (Lantern Festival follies at the Chenghua court) from 1485 showing court ladies in short robes and enormous skirts. As you can see the skirts of the 曳撒 yesa worn by the men also seem very puffy.

As to how these large skirts were achieved, the common explanation seems to be the wearing of 发裙/马尾裙 horsehair petticoats/crinolines. Crinolines were horsehair fabrics woven using the hair of a horse’s mane or tail, which were stiff and could hold structure very well, allowing the outer garment to puff out. Here is an excerpt from the book 寓圃笔记 written by 王锜 Wang Qi in the mid to late 15th century. The translations are my own.

发裙之制，以马尾编成，系于衬衣之内。体肥者一裙，瘦削者或二三，使外衣之张，俨若一伞。然系此者，唯粗俗官员、暴富子弟而已，士夫甚鄙之，近服妖也。

The petticoats are made from horsehair and worn underneath a shift. Those with a plumper physique need only one, whereas more slender figures require two or three, to make the outer garment appear puffed like an umbrella. However, the wearing of these petticoats is limited to vulgar officials and the nouveau riche; the literati despise it and consider it degenerate.

Wang is not talking about womenswear here as he mentions officials and literati, though I assume women would’ve worn similar undergarments to achieve the puff effect. 服妖 fuyao or degenerate dress was a very commonly used term in the Ming and Qing to denounce outrageous fashion, mostly by the aristocracy; I would not take the opinions of the literati seriously since they would always talk shit about a trend before becoming obsessed with it themselves🤡

As of now I don’t think any artifacts or pictorial evidence for 15th century Chinese horsehair petticoats exist so I’ll give you a Western visual:

Source here

1840s Western petticoat made of horsehair and cotton.

Crinolines are commonly believed to have originated in Korea and spread to China by some means. Maybe they were brought to and sold in China by the Korean tributary entourage during their visits to Beijing. Later the trend also spread to the south, Jiangnan specifically. 菽园杂记 written by 陆容 Lu Rong in the 1470s or 80s has a detailed explanation:

马尾裙始于朝鲜国，流入京师，京师人买服之，未有能织者。初服者，惟富商、贵公子、歌妓而已，以后武臣多服之，京师始有织卖者。于是，无贵无贱，服者日盛。至成化末年，朝官多服之者矣。大抵者，下体虚奓，取观美耳。阁老万公安，冬夏不脱：宗伯周公洪谟，重服二腰；年幼侯伯驸马，至有以弓弦贯其齐者。大臣不服者，惟黎吏侍淳一人而已。此服妖也，弘治初始有禁例。

Crinolines originated in Korea and had spread to the capital. The people of Beijing bought them but couldn’t yet produce them. At first, they were only worn by rich merchants, young noblemen and singers, but as military officials started donning them they began to be made and sold in Beijing. Thus, regardless of rich or poor, more and more went on board the trend. At the end of the Chenghua era (1464-87), the majority of court officials wore them. ... (cannot translate the people’s titles) ... This sort of degenerate dress was only banned in the early Hongzhi era (1487-1505).

I’m not entirely sure when puffy skirts became fashionable in Korea, but it probably wasn’t long before the 15th century. Apparently crinolines remained fashionable in Korean menswear for another couple decades after they were banned in China, and puffy skirts are still a staple of Korean clothing nowadays, though they’re more of a womenswear thing. Since I couldn’t find any artifacts for 15th century Korean crinolines I looked up modern hanbok petticoats to see if there is any continuity but most of them seem to use 20th century Western materials and construction methods? Like they look like rockabilly or lolita petticoats, both the fluffy “cotton candy” and hoop styles. There are also modern hanbok petticoats which suspend from the shoulders, but I don’t think those were worn in the 15th century because back then skirts in Korea didn’t have the ultra high waist yet, so a full length petticoat wasn’t necessary. If anyone knowledgeable about historical Korean clothing could share with me what 15th century Korean petticoats looked like it would be amazing :D

Source here

Puffy modern hanbok.

Source here

Commercial hanbok petticoat using tulle to puff out.

There is another book with an entry on structured petticoats but it was written in the 1570s or 80s, 100 years after the trend had passed, making it less believable. The book is 谷山笔麈 written by 于慎行.

尝闻里中长老传，数十年前，里俗以袷为裙，袷长衣下，令其蓬蓬张起，以为美观。即无袷裙，至系竹圈衬之，殊为可笑。及读王莽传，莽好以猪毛装楮衣中，令其张起。乃知古亦有之。

I heard from some elders that many decades ago the custom was to wear a long shift (袷 ?)----which was longer than one’s robe----as a skirt to make the robe puffed, and that was considered beautiful. Had one not been in possession of a long shift, one would use bamboo hoops instead; quite laughable really. If you read the biography of Wang Mang (politician 45BC-23AD), it’s documented that he liked to stuff pig’s hair into his clothes to make them puffed. From this it can be known that [puffy undergarments] had existed since Antiquity.

I cannot verify if this was true but I am really amused by the idea of bamboo hoops. Since bamboo strips were very flexible, I guess it’s not far fetched to use them as boning for a hoopskirt. There is no evidence of bamboo hoopskirts but I guess they would look either like Spanish farthingales or mid 19th century European cage crinolines; there aren’t a lot of other possibilities for a garment of this kind😅

Source here

1865 elliptical cage crinoline made of rows of boning suspended by fabric tapes.

After puffy skirts were banned in the late 1490s they disappeared quite quickly and were never seen in Chinese clothing again.

Source see watermark

Reproduction of Chenghua era puffy skirts by the 装束复原 team.

Normally in the Ming and Qing women would always wear pants or petticoats underneath their skirts, albeit not puffy. During the popularity of puffy petticoats, underpants or another layer of petticoat would still be worn underneath the crinoline. When pants became popularized in the late 18th/early 19th century, women would also wear underpants or long drawers under their outer pants because knickers didn’t exist.

I consulted this article for this information. I hope this was useful and not too boring!

#hanfu #ming dynasty #15th century #hanbok #historic fashion #chinese fashion #korean fashion

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ukaiknowsbest · 3 years

Text

PART 2. THE SHIMURA FAMILY OF GINTAMA IN HISTORICAL CONTEXT

Before I start let me warn you that everything below is my own opinion and come from some research that I have done. My main references are Wikipedia and the youtube channels Linfamy and Let's Ask Shogo. I am but an armchair historian who's just started dipping their toes in the fascinating and chaotic history of Japan. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. To be honest I'm just repeating information I find on the internet and creating an argument which will hopefully make sense.

This is PART 2 of a 3-part essay series

PART 1: GINTAMA IN HISTORICAL CONTEXT

PART 3: MARTIAL SKILLS OF TAE SHIMURA

In this essay I will delve into how the Shimura family fit into the social fabric of the Tokugawa Era and Gintama's Edo.

Text Heavy. Read at your own risk.

Reminder: Tokugawa Shogunate (1603 and 1867) = Edo Period = 265 years of relative peace in Japan

We'll begin this by looking at a real life Shinsengumi Captain from the Bakumatsu period.

NAGAKURA SHINPACHI NORIYUKI,

Son of a retainer of the Matsumae clan. Basically they were a samurai family that resided in Edo for the Matsumae daimyo (Hokkaido).

Eventually became affiliated with Kondo Isami's dojo.

Became assistant vice commander of the Shinsengumi in 1863

Became captain of 2nd unit in 1865.

Together with rest of Shinsengumi, he achieved Hatamoto status.

Also one of the Kenjutsu instructors for the Shinsengumi.

Got involved in Boshin War were his Shinsengumi comrades Kondou and Hijikata died

Served as military instructor throughout Meiji Period for different organizations.

Lived up to 1915 and helped erect monuments for the other famous Shinensgumi officials. He also published memoirs of his life and is the source of many information regarding Shinsengumi history.

SHIMURA SHINPACHI Sorachi based Shimura Shinpachi from this Shinsengumi captain. He then gave Shinpachi's family their own Dojo and made his father a samurai and a Kenjutsu Instructor.

They have a large estate and their own training school, which means the Shimuras' had a large koku stipend from their daimyo (take this with a grain of salt coz i cant find any information on edo period real estate).

By Tokugawa Era standards, Shinpachi was the legitimate heir to his father. When the old man died, Shinpachi, though still a child, became the head of their Shimura branch, not Otae.

Therefore it was realistic that Shinpachi demanded the Yagyuu to ask permission from him for his sister's hand in marriage. That's just how things worked in that era. Even though Gintama has this modern tone where Otae can choose who she wants, realistically suitors all have to go thru Shinpachi since he is the head of the Shimura family. If I'm not mistaken he could also have his sister be married off if he really exercised his right.

My guess is that Shinpachi's dad was a samurai but when he died the samurai rank wasn't passed to Shinpachi. Normally, this would mean the family does not receive stipend anymore and their property be taken away. However they still have the large estate despite losing their father. Maybe they could still keep that estate from their large savings(?). Maybe their dojo became the primary source of income for a while until the government banned all non officials from bearing swords(?) Maybe Sorachi does not want us to stress on this details and hope that we treat the Shimuras like a samurai family regardless of the economics of their situation(?) I'm shooting in the dark here, we will never know.

From here on out I'm gonna assume that the Shimura had downgraded to "merchant class" since they do not serve the shogunate anymore and were working in non-samurai jobs.

What's important is that both Otae and Shinpachi were brought up in the same standards as samurai children.

TAE SHIMURA AND TOKUGAWA ERA WOMEN.

In the Edo Period, Women legally did not exist. They could not own property and couldn't become head of the family. They were often married off to families of the same social class (or higher) for political and social mobility reasons.

Samurai women especially had it tough because they were bound to the rules of the shogunate themselves. Samurai in the Edo period were required to only rely on their salary/stipend from the shogunate and were not allowed to start businesses. Most of low ranking samurai lived in poverty especially in the later half of the Edo Period.

In comparison, peasant and merchant families enjoyed more freedom because they can dabble in all sorts of jobs and trading. Women from these classes were often trained rigorously to be knowledgable in running businesses effectively. Men and Women of this social class grew wealthy and powerful in the late Edo Period.

Samurai Women of the Edo Period had at least 3 major roles as suggested by Buddhist and Confucian teachings that the Samurai Class strictkt adhered to: (1) being a "good wife, wise mother", (2) governing the household while the men are serving the daimyo and (3) defending the home/household/family name. Samurai women became "subservient but not weak" to their men.

Otae was brought up as a samurai woman so I'm gonna assume that she grew up with these rules and followed them to an extent.

1. "GOOD WIFE, WISE MOTHER"

In the Edo period, women of samurai class were held in high regard. From a young age they were taught skills needed to govern the household, including reading, writing, and how to play the koto. They were in charge of the education and upbringing of their children.

From Taka-chin Gang Arc we learned that Shinpachi stopped attending temple school after their father died. This means that Otae educated her brother from childhood. How they both did that, we will never know. By the age of 18 Otae seemed to have successfully parented her younger brother, Shinpachi into being a decent person who'll be ready to take on the responsibility of being the head of the Shimura household.

2. "GOVERN THE HOUSEHOLD WHILE THE MEN SERVE THE DAIMYO"

While she and Shinpachi both worked in order to pay off their father's loans, it seems that Otae cared more about their estate compared to her brother. As such we could see her go to extreme lengths in order to keep the dojo in their family name. This can also be seen how Otae is usually the only one managing their house since Shinpachi is often away on business with Gintoki. Gintoki may not be Shinpachi's feudal lord but Shinpachi is still the head of the household who does not spend a lot of time in his house but is always at his employer. Edo Period gender roles somehow still applied to the Shimuras.

3. "DEFENDING THE HOME FROM INTRUSION OR ATTACK"

Samurai women were trained in different martial arts such as knife wielding and naginatajutsu. Like their pre-tokugawa era counterparts, they were also counted on to defend the home. Moreover naginatas were also part of dowries for samurai women marrying into another samurai family. As we can see, Otae's main weapon of choice is a naginata, which we have seen her use multiple times. She's also skilled in the wooden sword.

Otae even took this duty to another level by fortifying their estate with additional defenses and traps using her own money.

SHIMURA FAMILY DYNAMICS BASED ON IRL TOKUGAWA SHOGUNATE STANDARDS AND GINTAMA'S MODERN WORLD

Otae working in cabaret club used to be beneath her social status but as I said before, the former samurais were all living in poverty and it was not surprising that they'd find work in jobs for other social classes. To me Otae is cool because she was willing to step down and work an unsavory job like hostess/cabaret girl in order to keep their family estate. For this essay, I will consider "hostess" as a kind of "entertainer," which is a profession that highly frowned upon by the samurai class even though it earns a lot of money. Otae being in this profession kind of lowered her "value" for marriage even more (in the eyes of samurai and top merchant families). Otae marrying Kondou or Kyuubei would've been considered moving up the social ladder. This is why the Yagyuu were very much against the arrangement. It was illogical for a samurai of daimyo status to be married to a former samurai retainer family of much lower rank. Edit: btw the shogun chooses the wives for the daimyo. Disobeying that order is against the law. It’s one of the way the Tokugawa shogunate controlled their top officials. In our modern sensibilities, It was nice that Otae and Shinpachi's father didn't make arrangements to marry her off to another family though. She and Kyuubei may have promised each other as kids but at least that wasn't really serious/set in stone. That gave Otae more freedom than most because she wasn't tied to another family right away. This was rare in the actual time period though.

GINTOKI SAKATA AND THE SHIMURAS AS MERCHANT CLASS CITIZENS

Something interesting is going to happen now that I have classified Gintoki (who was regarded as a ronin who never had a lord) and the Shimuras (formerly samurai retainers) as "MERCHANTS". This releases them from the strict frugal life and moral code that samurai ruling class had to adhere to in the Edo period.

As merchant class they have more freedom in choosing jobs and starting businesses. They may be poor but they have less restrictions to do what they want.

..This also reflects in their own personal moral codes. The Yorozuya motto of "the clients' wishes are more important to us" is more a merchant/ninja idealogy than the traditional samurai bushido.

Otae's core personality of doing what she wants and finding her own methods also reflect this freedom.

In my opinion Otae's business sense was reflected in the

Ice Sculpture of the Cabaret Girls,

her suggestion to create a town mascot and bring down Jirocho's yakuza thugs,

using macadamia nuts to entice homeless people to learn their kendo style

how she manage her own weight loss/appreciation business.

Her upbringing as samurai woman and shift to "merchant" status developed her into the strong and cunning leader she had become in the cabaret club and now as the Empress of the Kabukichou district.

I love it.

I hope ya'll enjoyed reading this short essay on how I think the Shimuras would have fit in the real Tokugawa Period.

NOTES

More readings are needed for edo period and post ww2 real estate and debts. I honestly don't understand how inheritance works in japan in edo period and modern times.

Gintama period dynamics is confusing af. It heavily leans towards Edo period rules but also have a lot of meiji restoration and modern day undertones. Applying standards on the characters based on real history is probably a fruitless endeavor but I will do it because it is fascinating.

Internet Article: Gender Expectations of Edo Period Japan https://www.japanpowered.com/japan-culture/gender-expectations-of-edo-period-japan

Internet Article: Tokugawa Shogunate Women's Role http://world-history-education-resources.com/tokugawa-shogunate/role-women's-tokugawa-shogunate.html

really i made many of these arguments up as I went along. Thanks for reading. I hope you also read Part 3 where we talk more about Otae's Awesomeness.

#gintama #shimura shinpachi #tae shimura #shimura tae #sakata gintoki #yorozuya #historical gintama #gintama thoughts #gintama meta

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starlightomatic · 4 years

Text

I guess my hot take about cottagecore is

- it’s mostly aspirational/a coping mechanism and the vast majority of people who post it are not actually going to start a homestead. in a time when everyone is stuck in small apartments during a pandemic, it makes a lot of sense that people are dreaming of independence, space, and relationship to land. it’s a fantasy. i don’t think it’s fair to say that people are doing harm because of this.

- if people do start homesteads, they’ll be buying the land from other white people, not colonizing land that indigenous people currently hold. so at worst it’s perpetuating/not undoing the existing system, but like, it’s not like if they don’t buy it it’ll go back into native hands. there’s nothing inherently worse about white queer women owning land than white straight men owning land (and it honestly feels a little suspect to think there is!)

- buying land is not in itself the issue, rather the issue is how you relate to it. get in touch with your local indigenous nation. ask them what they want and need. pay them reparations -- i’ve heard of someone paying her local indigenous nation a land tax equivalent to what she pays her landlord. get involved in efforts to help indigenous, black, and brown people buy land. learn about the history of racist usda lending practices. there’s a lot more to this issue than “buying land is bad.” btw, you can engage in this work even if you’re not planning on buying land. - people should definitely have an awareness of how they are operating within this system, and an awareness of the harm the homesteading movement and white flight did, but this is not 1865. we can’t and won’t undo the harm of colonization by just telling people “stay in cities where you’re harming no one.” that’s ignoring all the harm that happens in cities (ie gentrification, food deserts, homelessness), and in any case, cities in north america are indigenous land too. also, tbh, i don’t think the way to solve the issues of a world where so much harm is based on displacement and movement restrictions is just to place more movement restrictions on people.

#cottagecore #cottagecore discourse

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tricktster · 4 years

Note

Is TST for the satanic temple

It is merely a happy happy happy coincidence, but don’t take that to mean that they don’t have my full-throated support and admiration.

Since you kids are on tumblr, I’m guessing a lot of you already know that The Satanic Temple (TST) is not, in fact, a group of people who worship Satan. For those of you who might (understandably) have TST confused with an an actual Satan-worshipping entity, rest assured - supporting TST requires no actual Satan worship - or anything worship, it’s a “non-theistic religion.”

So, you might be wondering, what’s the point of a purported Satanic church that explicitly does not believe in, nor worship, Satan?

Great rhetorical question! Thank you for the invitation to geek out! In this essay I will explain why The Satanic Temple is an incredibly clever maneuver to protect the individual rights and liberties of people in the United States of America, and why you should all, regardless of religious belief, stan them. I am sorry! This is going to be a long one! I’m going to use a page break!

(Apologies if anything I say here is really basic obvious stuff that you already know. I will probably cover some familiar ground, but I didn’t get taught about any of this in high school beyond a few throwaway paragraphs in a textbook, so I’m writing with an audience of ‘me in high school’ in mind.)

As you know, the founding fathers did some pretty wild shit when they decided on what the United States of America was going to look like, and among the wildest was the decision that America would not have a state religion. I cannot express to you guys how significant this decision was in shaping American culture... soooo I won’t try because it’s beside the point and this is already going to be way too long. All you really need to take away is the following:

The U.S. constitution provides both that religion and government are to be kept separate, and that the free exercise of religion is a fundamental individual right, and those portions of the constitution have pissed a lot of people off over the last 244 years.

So there’s actually three parts of the bill of rights that are in play here. In the First Amendment, we have the Establishment Clause, and the Free Exercise Clause:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion [The Establishment Clause], or prohibiting the free exercise thereof [The Free Exercise Clause]; or abridging the freedom of speech [...]”

These clauses were the only part of the Constitution that touched on religion until the 14th amendment was ratified in 1868. For those of you who are curious about the timing of a new amendment in 1869 and are as bad with significant dates as I am, the Civil War ended in 1865, and, as such, it’s worth noting that the purpose of the 14th Amendment was to guarantee equal civil and legal rights to Black people. I am not the first person to note that uh, we are clearly still working on that.

Anyway, for our purposes, the pertinent part of the 14th amendment is the Equal Protection Clause:

“No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Okay, very broadly, here’s what each clause actually does:

The Establishment Clause says that the US government cannot sponsor any religion, or involve itself in religion to the benefit of one religion over another.

The Free Exercise clause says that the US government cannot stop someone from holding a religious belief (or force them to adhere to another religious belief)

The Equal Protection Clause prohibits discrimination on the basis of religious belief

These all look pretty great on paper, but in practice, enforcing them has been wildly hit or miss. I’m going to discuss why, so I’ll say up front that none of this should not be construed as an attack on Christianity. Religious faith is intensely personal, and I want to emphasize that I am in no way advocating for adherents to the Christian faith to be unable to practice that faith. I am a sincere advocate for everyone to be able to freely practice their own religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and that’s exactly what’s at issue here - when one religion is positioned above all others, anyone who does not believe in that particular religion is impacted detrimentally.

So with that caveat in place, it’s important to recognize the following: the United States is, and has always been, a majority Christian nation. 65% of Americans identified as Christian in 2019, which is a historic low. Even ten years back, it was closer to 85%. In accordance with the demographics of the US, Christianity is, if anything, over-represented in US government. 85.4% of US congressmen identify as Christian. 82 out of the 100 senators identify as Christian (I’m not counting members of congress or the senate who identify as members of the Church of Latter Day Saints in those numbers). Furthermore, every single president has identified themselves as Christian - the spiciest America has gotten in re: the religious beliefs of a POTUS was JFK, who was, you know, Catholic.

This is important, because it directly impacts how we interpret what “separation of church and state,” “free exercise of religion,” and “nondiscrimination on the basis of faith” actually mean. When a country is predominantly comprised of people who share the same faith, that faith becomes part of the shared cultural concept of national identity: even though the US is, in practice, relatively diverse in terms of ethnicities and religious faiths (as far as countries go), if you ask someone on the street to imagine an American, they are probably going to imagine a white dude who loves Flag and also Jesus. That national identity is reflected in the country’s chosen representatives, and in return, in the legislation passed by those representatives and the behavior expressly condoned by the government as a whole. The end result of all of this is that in the United States of America, Christianity and the exercise of government frequently intersect.

Take the late forties and early fifties. WWII is over, and two global superpowers have emerged that are at diametrical positions; there’s our old capitalist pal the US in one corner, and in the other, the godless, socialist menace of the USSR. I’m being silly and hyperbolic here, but not about the godless bit: the USSR was officially an athiest state, and the government forcibly converted its citizens to atheism. So, the US squints at this and swings hard in the opposite direction; this is a Christian nation, we are sticking “under god” in the pledge of allegiance, we are putting Ten Commandment sculptures in front of our courthouses, we are mandating prayer in school, and if you have an issue with any of that, you are not a patriotic American.

Some of that stuff from the 50s still exists today (“under god” is still kicking around), but a lot more of it is essentially outlawed thanks to the branch of government that I haven’t mentioned yet, the federal judiciary. How this played out was essentially that someone would be impacted by state-sponsored Christianity, they would sue, and their case would eventually be appealed up to the level of the Supreme Court, who would look at the Constitution, admit that it’s pretty unequivocal about the whole separation of church and state thing, and bar the state sponsored religious practice at issue, or at the very least ensure that the state was not sponsoring one faith to the exclusion of others. So, to return to our ten commandments in front of the courthouse or nativity scene outside of a government building; (I’m really simplifying things here but this is the gist) the court has repeatedly decided, those are fine, as long as you give fair play to any other religion that wants to erect their own religious display there too. It’s either that all religions have an equal opportunity to be represented, or no religion does.

I know, this is supposed to be about why The Satanic Temple is cool. We’re getting there.

Let’s jump ahead to the early 2000s. Bush Jr. is president, thanks in no small part to massive evangelical Christian support, and those evangelical Christians have some demands: they want schools to teach creationism, they’re gunning directly for reproductive rights, and they have had enough of this whole gay nonsense. A lot of legislation gets passed during the Bush era that gives the Evangelical base what they want, and among those big evangelical wins was on teaching intelligent design in schools. This didn’t happen everywhere, but some states basically said that intelligent design could be taught alongside evolution in public school science classes, and that evolution and intelligent design had to be portayed as equally valid theories.

Obviously, a lot people were upset about this, because... well, it’s science class. Among the people who thought this whole thing was bullshit was a guy named Bobby Henderson, who wrote an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in 2005. Referencing the Supreme Court decisions I discussed earlier (either all religious beliefs get equal play or none of them do), Bobby demanded that along with evolution and intelligent design, Kansas schools devote equal time to teaching the creation story of his religious faith, and if any of this is sounding familiar, that’s because Bobby described his religious faith as “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.”

The memetic potential of this argument was basically designed for the internet era, and it wasn’t too long before purported adherents to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was filing lawsuits that challenged all sorts of government practices that obviously skewed Christian. They were making classic reductio ad absurdum arguments; if it was ridiculous that the government should promote the message of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a given sphere, it was equally ridiculous that the government should promote the message of other religious faiths in that same sphere.

The whole pastafarian movement had one major weakness, however - it was expressly, deliberately silly. Nobody could mistake a Flying Spaghetti Monster argument to be made in good faith, and the courts used this to basically ignore FSM challenges that would otherwise be valid. Here’s what the Nebraska federal district court decided in the big Flying Spaghetti Monster case, Cavanaugh v. Bartlet:

“The Court finds that FSMism is not a ‘religion’ within the meaning of the relevant federal statutes and constitutional jurisprudence. It is, rather, a parody, intended to advance an argument about science, the evolution of life, and the place of religion in public education. Those are important issues, and FSMism contains a serious argument, but that does not mean that the trappings of the satire used to make that argument are entitled to protection as a ‘religion.’”

That’s the Pastafarian problem in a nutshell. They had great points, but they weren’t actually a religion, and that left the courts free to disregard their arguments by saying that they lacked standing. “Standing” is legalese for the concept of who is able to bring a lawsuit based on a particular act or law. This sounds esoteric, but it makes logical sense: If your neighbor gets hit by an ice cream truck, is injured, and is now hundreds of thousands of dollars in the hole for medical debt, he has standing to sue the ice cream truck driver. He suffered an injury that was caused by the ice cream truck driver, and the court has the ability to direct the ice cream truck driver to pay for his medical bills and pain and suffering etc. If you, on the other hand, decide to sue the ice cream truck driver because they ran over your neighbor, well, did you actually get injured? Would it being about any sort of justice if the ice cream truck driver had to pay you money? If the answer is no and you try to sue anyway, the court’s going to kick that lawsuit out.

Constitutional challenges often die because the person suing doesn’t have standing to bring the case. Remember how I mentioned earlier that “one nation under god” is still in the Pledge of Allegiance? A case about that actually got all the way to the Supreme Court, before it was tossed out for lack of standing - the problem was that a student’s father had brought the lawsuit, instead of the student herself. Likewise, the Flying Spaghetti Monster cases usually went nowhere because the courts would say “okay, you’re claiming that this law is trampling on your right to practice your chosen religion, but your religion is deliberately ludicrous. Your holy book was published in 2006 and heavily features a beer volcano. You don’t actually believe in any of this, so you haven’t actually suffered the harm that you’re claiming this legislation caused.”

So, uh, how the hell does an athiest challenge the constitutionality of laws like the FSM movement tried to without just getting tossed out for lack of sincerity?

Okay. Okay. We’re finally here. Let’s talk about The Satanic Temple.

In 2013, after witnessing how the FSM movement failed to accomplish meaningful change, Lucien Greaves realized that even though the basic concept of what FSM was trying to accomplish was solid, the issue was in its execution. If you wanted to challenge laws that unconstitutionally favored Christianity, you couldn’t be joking around about your fake religion; you had to play it absolutely straight.

What Greaves came up with is incredibly clever. He set about constructing a new religion for the purpose of using the FSM playbook without falling into the same judicial pitfalls. He made sure that the new religion would constitute an actual belief system in the eyes of the law, which involved identifying the mission and core articulable tenents of the religion. I’m quoting them both below because they’re cool as hell:

The Mission of The Satanic Temple

“The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people, reject tyrannical authority, advocate practical common sense, oppose injustice, and undertake noble pursuits.

The Satanic Temple has publicly confronted hate groups, fought for the abolition of corporal punishment in public schools, applied for equal representation when religious installations are placed on public property, provided religious exemption and legal protection against laws that unscientifically restrict women's reproductive autonomy, exposed harmful pseudo-scientific practitioners in mental health care, organized clubs alongside other religious after-school clubs in schools besieged by proselytizing organizations, and engaged in other advocacy in accordance with our tenets.”

The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple

1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

3. One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.

4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Tenets aside, though, this next bit is what just delights me to my core with how crafty it is: Instead of making up his own religious text and history, he went directly to the Bible and said (I’m paraphrasing) “the historical foundation of The Satanic Temple is the exact same as the historical foundation of Christianity. We share the same holy book, and our faiths are grounded in the same tradition. Here’s the only difference: We believe with all sincerity that the character in that book who said ‘hey, try the apple, the pursuit of knowledge is worth rebelling against authority for’ is actually the good guy in the story, and although we are not a theistic organization, it is our sincere religious belief to comport ourselves in the manner espoused by the literary character Satan.”

Holy shit, guys. Holy shit, that is smart. He set up his religion so that you couldn’t attack it for being fake without also attacking Christianity for being fake! Simultaneously, he designed a religion that would reliably produce the perfect reductio ad absurdum argument- you want to display your ten commandment statue on public land? Okay, chill, but per the Constitution, we get equal play, so if you want those ten commandments, you’d better be cool with them sitting right next to our 3000 lb bronze statue of children gazing adoringly up at Baphomet:

Oh, wait, you don’t want to have that statue on government property? Cool. Totally fine. Just take your ten commandments slabs away too, and we’ll call it a truce.

The Satanic Temple exists to protect individual constitutional rights. Regardless of your own religious sentiment, it’s hopefully easy enough to see how incredibly shitty it would be to have your elected government promote religious beliefs that you do not share, to have religious sentiments that you find abhorrent expressly condoned by the government, or to have your own rights of expression and against discrimination constrained by a government that expressly santions only the religious beliefs of the majority, in spite of the concepts expressed in the United States Constitution. The only way to challenge an unconstitutional law is to sue, and it takes a lot of time, effort, and most of all resources to see a constitutional lawsuit through. Organized religion and government entities have a much easier time defending those cases than an individual does in suing them; by supporting The Satanic Temple, you’re directly evening the odds.

P.S. I know I talk a big game about how cleverly The Satanic Temple was designed, but you know how you can tell that it’s actually brilliant? The IRS granted it tax exempt status as a religious entity in 2019. Yup. Even with the IRS directly under the thumb of Donald J. Trump, a man desperate to maintain evangelical support, the IRS finally had to concede that they could not find any reason why The Satanic Temple shouldn’t be treated the exact same way as any other church. Angry that a Satanic entity doesn’t have to pay taxes on its income? Well, buddy, get ready to learn what megachurches get away with.

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asfaltics · 3 years

Text

ink-bottle. quickness, I guess

that thinking-ness and being-thought-ness are not the same... 01 She was drinking her coffee and thinking without words... 02

For I recognise two manners of existence, in mutual opposition or contradistinction, thinkingness and thoughtness 03 I never had the thoughtness. I was so hurt with it. 04

sources

01 followed by “The fact is, that in some cases science and the thing known are the same. In the case of the creative sciences, the essence and the self-realizing end, without the matter, are the object; in that of the theoretic sciences, the object and the thinking. Since, then, in all things that have no matter there is no difference between the object of the intellect and the intellect itself, the two must be the same, and thinking is one with its object.” ex “Aristotle’s Metaphysics, a translation of the eleventh book, by Thomas Davidson” in The Journal of Speculative Philosophy 22:3 (1888) 226-253 (240) Thomas Davidson (1840-1900), peripatetic philosopher. see wikipedia and (linked there), James A. Good, his “The Development of Thomas Davidson’s Religious and Social Thought,” retitled from “The Value of Thomas Davidson.” Transactions of the Charles S. Peirce Society 40:2 (Spring 2004): 289–318 (here) 02 Clarice Lispector, An Apprenticeship, or, The Book of pleasures (1969; Stefan Tobler, trans., 2021) : 96 aside — there ensues a description of that “thinking without words,” an entry into that coffee (“the night is full”), an amniotic swimming, adrift in the thoughtness of the moment — as my marginalia, and marginalia upon marginalia continued even here, have it. 03 “...and it is this latter which, when we believe the thought correct or justified, we call phenomenal existence of matter.” ex John Grote (1813-66), “Sir William Hamilton—Consciousness of matter,” in his Exploratio Philosophica Part I (1865; reissued 1900) : 140 on Grote, see wikipedia 04 Patient, to the Examiner’s question, “How came you to be here?” ex A. W. Hoisholt, M.D. (Stockton, Cal.), “Current Ideas on Aphasia, with studies of an interesting case” in The Archives of Internal Medicine 3 (Chicago, 1909) : 451-466 (459) more, from same — D.—Identification of Objects : The patient hardly ever names the object correctly, or identifies it from among a number of names, although he sometimes recollects part of the word or something resembling it; frequently he circumlocutes. Examiner: Shows patient a key. Patient: “No sir, it is no medicine, it majiness.” Examiner shows an ink-bottle. Patient: “Quickness, I guess, doctor, I should think it was.” Examiner shows scissors. Patient: “It will cut the rappa, you can get of that cotta.” Examiner shows a postage stamp and asks: “Is that a pen-knife, a pencil or a stamp? Patient: “Well, sir, it was a hipna of the masons, the ridamite of the doctor.” Examiner shows a pair of scissors again. Patient: “Scisson, sitton, chisel, shudden, scissum. sicum, hipple; an aggitator of this shittum that cut it up and sent them all up together for a long with somebody else.”

n of n

#aphasia #cento #couplets #thoughtness #Thomas Davidson #John Grote #A. W. Hoisholt #Clarice Lispector

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marzipanandminutiae · 4 years

Note

Recently you mentioned how keeping up with fashions was a 'Respectability Thing' & fashionable vintage clothing is recent. I was wondering if this extended to other items. For example, having antiques (particularly furniture) as a status symbol. When did having a hundred-year-old chair go from, "I guess we know the last time the owner's family had money" to "what a find! This must have cost you a fortune"? I want to guess late Victorian or maybe Edwardian period. Thanks.

That’s a really interesting question! I’m not entirely sure it has gone that way, at least not as a strict linear progression. Because I think our mindset towards furniture might have gone in the opposite direction of our ideas about fashion.

Old furniture, unlike old clothing, could sometimes have something of its modern appeal well before vintage fashion hit the scene. There’s a chair currently on display at one of my museums that the owner found antiquing in Salem in the 1890s, for example.

(Yeah, antiquing existed back then. Ornate old furniture could already fetch a premium even when wearing old-fashioned clothes was a taboo sign of poverty. Go figure.)

Though furniture styles changed, it seems like well-kept pieces that were behind the times could be regarded as sort of...noble, I guess? Ancestral rather than negatively old-fashioned. So there was a bit more leeway than for clothing.

That wasn’t universal- I’ve read Edwardian books that speak disparagingly of “heavy old furniture,” and even some similar sentiments from the late Victorian era. But I feel like, in a way, they could be a bit more forgiving of outdated furniture than we are of Victwardian design elements today.

People no longer abhor ornate 19th- and early 20th-century interiors the way they did in, say, the 1950s. However, you still hear a lot of talk about “opening up the space,” and praises of “sleek, modern design.” I mean, look at our appliances- the more like smooth, featureless shapes they look, the better they appear to sell. Look at the IKEA aesthetic, with all its blond wood and smooth surfaces. Look at shabby chic, one of the few ways old furniture can weasel its way into the houses of the lifestyle influencer set.

My first instinct is to be an emotional, bitter snark monster and say this all started “when stark geometric nonsense with no ornamentation first got popular, ie the 1920s.” Blame the 1920s is one of my core life philosophies. But that’s not quite true, I must admit. For one thing, a lot of furniture being made in the ‘20s still looked fancy and highly decorated. For another, the idea of “ugly old furniture” predates the Jazz Age, as I previously mentioned.

Honestly I feel lke it really started when the majority of our furniture began to look NOTHING like the majority of earlier styles.

Like, if a chair from 1865 has clawed feet, and in 1900 you buy a piano stool with clawed feet, you’re not going to consider clawed feet ugly. You might, I imagine, be inclined to look more favorably upon old furniture because a lot of it isn’t THAT different from what you’re used to. You can probably tell the difference, but it isn’t quite as jarring as like...the contrast between my house’s modern kitchen chairs and the Victorian parlor chair in my room (AKA “The Most Objectively Comfy Chair Ever Don’t @ Me You’re All Wrong And Your Squishy Unsupportive Chairs Should Feel Bad”).

So honestly I might pin this one on the 1950s. It was more like a slow creep throughout the first half of the 20th century, but I’m still composing my Ouija board constructive criticism of The Haunting of Hill House where I make Shirley Jackson confess that she just hated Victorian architecture, so....let’s oversimplify!

Hope this was at all coherent and helpful. I would edit it more, but I have to finish getting ready for work.

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justamusicpodcast · 4 years

Link

Episode 6 out today!

We’re talking about Blues music

Transcript under the cut

Sup, I’m Laura Cousineau and welcome to Just A Music Podcast, where I, Laura Cousineau, tell you about some music history, how it relates to the world around us, and hopefully, introduce you to some new tunes. This show is theoretically for everyone but I will swear and when it comes down to it and sometimes we may need to talk about some sensitive topics so ur weeuns might wanna sit this one out.

And boi unless you’ve had that talk with ur kids about systemic racism you might wanna let them sit this one out because we’re gonna be touching on a bunch of terrible racist shit this week Because we’re gonna be talking about the Blues and various different type of blues musics. I’m actually really excited to talk about it too because blues, as you guys will find out in the future is kinda the basis for a lot of other, what one might consider more modern, genres of American popular musics. So this one’s gonna be important for ur earholes and ur brainholes. Just like last time I will be airing a sensitive content warning for some graphic descriptions of violence and I will put the time stamps in the description for y’all for when that starts and ends.

First though, I wanna issue an apology for being away so long, I tend to work on this podcast in my free time, and currently I’ve had none of that what so ever. It just so happened that October worked out this year that it was thanksgiving and my birthday and then a bunch of big projects due then Halloween and now I’m working on my fucking thesis proposal, I’m actually recording this episode at 1:35 am on a Saturday night/Sunday morning, so needless to say all this in combination with trying to deal with my depression hasn’t been a cake walk but we’re making it work. I will likely run up against a similar time issue during the first couple weeks of December because that’s when all my final papers are due. After that thought I should have smooth sailing for about a month. I wanted to make sure I had an episode out this week because as I think… well everyone… is aware the American election took place this week and understandably people were stressed as shit about that. So I think we could all use a little music right now.

Ok so Like all fuckin things we need to know where blues came from. Now blues is actually a lot older than a lot of people are gonna be expecting, like really damn old. Like pretty much everything in academia (and I mean EVERYTHING, at least in the humanities), the dates are contested, but it seems that the blues, or at least what began as the blues, started in and around the 1860s. For those who didn’t listen to last week’s episode on slave songs, spirituals, and gospel, or just those who don’t know their American history too too well, the 1860s marks a very important time for black people, many of which at that time had been enslaved, because in 1865 the thirteenth amendment was amended into the American constitution. For those who aren’t aware, the thirteenth amendment as stated by the national archives of the United States of America reads as such: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."

Now this of course was fantastic news of course! And for some people, this might be where you think oppression in the Americas ends for Black people but you would be incredibly wrong! Because this is the period where we see the start of a phenomenon referred to as sharecropping. Sharecropping or crop sharing as it’s known otherwise is considered part of what we historians sometimes refer to as the Jim Crow economy of the American South after the civil war. But what is Jim crow economy, what did it come from, why is it bad, why is sharecropping bad, how does any of this relate to the blues? Well lucky for u lil turnips imma tell ya.

Jim Crow culture is something that I imagine most North Americans will have even the most basic knowledge of but for those that don’t the name Jim Crow as applied to economy, laws, and any other part of American culture during these time periods refers to sets of crazy fucking racist laws written and unwritten that kept black people subjugated under the whims of the government as well as their fellow white countrymen. The term Jim crow itself is reference to a song often featured in the supremely racist minstrel shows of the mid to late 1800s and early 1900s referred to as “Jump Jim Crow” in which a white man in black-face sings in a parody centric dialect about the life of a charicaturishly uneducated back-woodsy Black man named, you fuckin guessed it, Jim Crow. The significance of the Crow being that it was a pejorative term for black individuals which can actually dated back to the early mid 1700s. Now I wanna preface the excerpt of it with the fact that I’m uncomfortable listening to this, I understand if others are too. The thing is that acknowledging these uncomfortable things and knowing about them is necessary in order to understand the type of historical impact that they had. “So laura, you must obviously support statues being raised to commemorate things like slavery and secessionism!” Absolutely not. Where statues and monuments exist to praise the efforts of individuals, the listening to and learning about songs in a teaching context like this very podcast are meant to educate. Statues commemorating culture surrounding one of the worst atrocities to have taken place on American soil should never have been erected in the first place let alone celebrated. One is meant to celebrate while the other is to educate because one is a historical primary source that lets us think critically about the history, the other is a tertiary celebration. The purpose of listening to a clip like this is then to educate and understand a piece of actually history, not to replicate and enjoy. The version of the song that I have is sung without the charicaturish accent but uses the original words but with all that in mind here’s a bit of Jump Jim Crow:

In terms of laws I’m sure just about everyone knows separate drinking fountains and schools but this really permeated pretty much every sphere of life for Black peoples especially those in the south. I say especially those in the south but not exclusively those in the south because racial segregation, although not as supported by law but more socially, also existed in the Northern States as well as in Canada. Anecdotally, my mother grew up in a suburb of Cleveland Ohio, she remembers going into Cleveland when she was a kid when Cleveland was still a very racially segregated city, Black peoples lived in, shopped in, and attended schools in certain areas of the city and white people in other’s. My grandmother who was also raised in the area even remembers Black people having separate lunch counters if any at all in some of the larger department stores in the area.

It might also be handy when I mention the south to actually talk about what the south and particularly the deep south is for y’all outside of America. So when we talk about the south we are talking about a geographically bounded area just not the area that one might think of by looking at a map because where you might be thinking like ah just take the country and cut it in half, and the bottom half is the south that wouldn’t be correct. So, from the United States Census Bureau itself the south we’re talking about is Alabama, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and West Virginia. Now some who live in the surrounding areas such as Kansas might also consider themselves as being from the “south” somewhat culturally but those states previously listed as the official ones. When we talk about the DEEP SOUTH however, that range closes a little more, and that would mainly just include Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, Mississippi, Louisiana, and sometimes Texas and Florida due to their involvement as part of the confederate states of America, meaning states that were on the south side of the civil war.

Also briefly just so we’re clear, again this is for those people who didn’t receive the best education on Slavery and the Civil War in general but to be clear, the civil war was fought over primarily states rights to use and perpetuate slavery. The common narrative you hear a lot in protests by those on the right, who would like to uphold the institutions set out by their forefathers in the creation of the abominable act, is that the civil war was primarily fought over states rights. What they then so often forget to elaborate is that those rights were perceived as the right to govern themselves independently so that they may still be able to employ slave labour in the operation of their economies and also to expand further westward to continue and be able to use slavery out in those areas as well.

The reason that we hear about these Jim Crow laws particularly in the South is because where the Northern states and Canada did have (and still continues to have) some violent racist issues, the Jim Crow south was specifically really bad. And I mean fucking abominable. Though Black people were free from being directly owned, society at large and all it’s trappings found new ways to oppress them. This started with Black Codes which were individual state law codes that dictated where Black peoples could move, for how long they could stay, restricted their rights to vote (or made it extremely difficult to vote via poll taxes, literacy tests, etc), as well as where they could work, and in some cases even if their children could be taken away from them on the basis labour needs. So I really can’t drive home the point enough of how much life sucked for Black peoples under Jim Crow laws and economy in the southern states, to call it any less than abominable would seem to understate it in a major way. In the 1880s Jim Crow laws hadn’t started to be rolled into large southern cities yet so many Black peoples were inclined to move into them because life was actually slightly easier for a short while. White people being offended and upset at this, because “how dare a black person just try to live their lives in my good white pure Christian neighborhood,” then fully supported Jim crow laws being rolled out to remove them from areas where white people would normally interact with them. This included but was not limited to, barring them from public parks entirely, having entirely different theaters at one point and then segregated theaters after a while with separate entrances based on your race, restaurants, bus and train stations, water fountains, restrooms, most building entrances in general, elevators, amusement park ticket windows, public schools, phone booths, hospitals, asylums, jails, elderly care homes and even fucking cemeteries. Of course being treated as diseased subhuman parasites is never enough for the racism machine that is the public conscious at this time so there was also a lot of violence both systematic and grassroots that accompanied this era.

And here’s where I’m going to have to issue a sensitive content warning because I’m about to describe some truly heinous shit in a whole second. So by violence, I mean very public and very culturally accepted violence, similar to what we’re seeing more and more of in the states again. As many will know now in the light of the many many many police shootings of unarmed, unthreatening black people in the states, the police traditionally haven’t been on the side of black citizens. This is due to a number of reasons, for one, on the most basic of levels the police serve to protect the interests of those in power, in our case that means the property and lives of middle to upper class (mostly) white Americans. The natural extension of this is that many police forces in the states, especially in Southern states started out as slave catching forces bringing back runaway enslaved people to their owners. So as time progressed and Black peoples became a “free” population this still meant protecting mainly middle to upper class white people from the “threat” of black people. This was enforced in a number of ways, such as arresting black individuals found breaking these rules, framing black people for crimes committed by others and arresting them for population suppression, and turning a blind eye to the grassroots violence perpetrated by non-black citizens, which very often were white citizens. An example of just straight up police brutality can be found in the case of Isaac Woodard JR. who was viciously beaten by police only hours after being honorably discharged from the fucking military on February 12 1946. The bus driver driving Woodard and some of his fellow soldiers called the police after Woodard asked the bus driver if there might be time for him to use the restroom as they approached a rest stop. When the police arrived, the bus driver accused Woodard of drinking in the back of the bus and he was hauled off, dragged into an alley and beaten with nighsticks. That night he was thrown in the town jail, by morning he had been beaten so severely he was left permanently blind in both eyes.

And that grassroots violence is just as nasty, really fucking nasty. The violence could be perpetrated for things as small as being in the wrong place at the wrong time, entering a white neighbourhood, “talking back to” the wrong person. Since black men have always been are still to some degree subject to the stereotype that they are all sex incensed monsters, being left alone in a room with a white woman could be enough to incite violence against them. In the Mississippi delta during the season where share cropping debts were settled up, there was a sharp uptick in violence against and killings of black people. If you were white, because let’s be real here some white people definitely were on the side of their oppressed countrymen, you could be hung on the basis of being an N-word lover, which could range from being found to being in a romantic/sexual relationship with a person of colour, to just being fucking friends with them. The violence was often varied too, where kidnapping and hanging someone either with or without brutalizing them first (also known as a lynching) is the form most commonly associated with Jim Crow era violence less extreme but still horrible harassment could perpetuate in any form. Mississippi had the highest amount of lynchings from 1882-1968 with 581. You might think that is a low number but first, similarily to when we were talking about slavery in the last episode, 1 lynching is too fucking many, and secondly these are only the ones that were officially recorded. Since lynchings didn’t always happen in broad daylight and since law enforcement really didn’t care about Black individuals, there were almost certainly more that happened that just never were recorded. Georgia was second with 531, and Texas was third with 493. 79% of lynching happened in the South. So as I said before though, lynching was not the only form though, beatings were also entirely all too common forms of violence perpetrated against blackf people to make them scared and thus more compliant. A good example of this is the case of Emmet Till a 14 year old boy who made the mistake of playfully flirting with a white woman, who was beaten nearly to death, had one of his eyes gouged out, was then shot in the head, and tied to some cotton mill equipment before his body was thrown in a river. This wasn’t even that long ago, the beating happened on the 28th of August 1955.

THE next parts are also gonna be not great but there wont be anymore descriptions of graphic violence, so I’m calling an end to the sensitive content warning. So the then how does sharecropping play into all this and what does it have to do with the blues (we’re getting there babes I promise.) So as I explained previously, sharecropping was a part of the Jim Crow economic era. It was part of the era of reconstruction meaning the period of rebuilding after the civil war. How it worked was that let’s say for a second, come with me into the theater of the mind for a second, take a seat, close your eyes, take a deep breath, Ok so lets imagine for a second you’re a farmer in the south, the civil war has kinda left you in a spot, if you’re black, you’re starting off without an awful lot, you don’t have any generational wealth you don’t have property likely aside from maybe a relatively small plot of land (but this was uncommon,) you probably didn’t have much if any equipment because that would have been way too expensive, and the land you may have had may have been of shitty quality. So what could you do to earn yourself a living?! Well you would go to a landowner, and ask him rather kindly if you might be able to work the land they lived on in exchange for some of the profits of the crops that you would produce. The landowner would provide you with the tools, seed, housing, land, store credits at local shops in order to subsist offa for food and other supplies and sometimes a mule in order to help you work the land seeing as motorized machinery was still few and far between in the united states at this point. The issue of this system is that how much you receive for you labour, the cut that you actually get from selling crops, that you grew with ur own backbreaking labour, is more or less decided by your landowner. And as I mentioned last episode, those who’ve ever had to rely on the benevolence of a boss for any period of time knows that this shit ain’t gonna cut it. So often you would end up underpaid, underfed, and in a debt hole that lasted as long as you did. If it sounds like legal slavery that’s kinda because it was. You would basically remain in indentured servitude to the landowner for as long as you were a part of this system. Like don’t get me wrong there were people who managed to not be a part of it but it was an incredibly largescale problem.

It’s important to note that this wasn’t just a black phenomenon either, white tenants of sharecroppers existed and in incredibly large numbers as well. By 1900, 36 percent of all white farmers in Mississippi were either tenant farmers or sharecroppers (by comparison, 85 percent of all black farmers in 1900 did not own the land they farmed). This all sucks for various reasons but like partially because there was this whole other plan proposed that after the war, all the land that had been seized from slave owners would have been divvied up to the newly freed slave populations. It was colloquially known as the 40 acres and a mule plan but yeah unfortunately never happened cause fuckin president Andrew Johnson was like ”WELL AKSHULLY SWEATY I THINK THE LAND SHOULD GO BACK TO SLAVE OWNERS BECAUSE UHHHHHH” AND THEN IT DID AND THEN WE ENDED UP WITH SHARE CROPPING. But anyway that’s sharecropping. And of course I could go onto describe how all of this still affects black people in the united states and how the effects of systematic racism are still being felt generations later but… we’re gonna save that for a different episode. FOR NOW THOUGH, WHY IS THIS ALL IMPORTANT, WHY DID I TAKE ROUGHLY 3000 WORDS TO TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE HORRORS OF RECONSTRUCTION ERA SOUTH!? Well because we’re talking about the blues, and what does it mean when you have the blues, it means that you’re sad as hell, given all that I’ve just described to you is it no wonder that the blues emerged as the soundtrack to the lives these people lived?

So then what is blues? Well as I mentioned last time, blues sort of develops out of the field holler/spiritual tradition. A fair amount of field hollers, a type of work song that enslaved peoples would sing in fields while they were doing their work, were about regular ass things for regular ass peoples; this dude stole my girl, im gonna find me a girl to love, life sucks and im gonna sing about it, life doesn’t suck so much but I’m still gonna sing about it. Blues then tended to explore more themes related to the sadder points of those stories but in similar ways and styles. So where did blues come from specifically, what makes it a different genre than a field holler or a spiritual, and that’s a great question so let’s get in it.

Let’s say for a second you went through a real shitty period in your life, you significant other named steve dumped you, your pet armadillo, also named steve, died, ur mom (also coincidentally named steve) has taken away your showering privileges, you’ve forgotten how to speak ur native language and to top it all off you just burnt your gotdamn mac and cheese. You spiral into a deep situational depression that lasts quite a little while. During this time you listen to one album on repeat just over and over again, you know it all inside out and backwards and diagonal, you know every instrumental part by heart, you’ve got the lyrics tattooed on your ass, the whole 9 yards. And then you start working your way out of it, slowly but steadily the days start getting brighter, you move out of your abusive mother’s house, you find a new partner or get comfortable being single, you appropriately morn the loss of ur pet armadillo, hell you even learn to make a better mac and cheese, things aren’t all fixed, and life isn’t breezes and cakes but it is ever so slightly easier than it was before, at least you have ur freedom right? BUT NOW, everytime you listen to one of those songs from that album it mentally brings you back to the way things used to be and it’s not great. Well that’s kinda what happened with blues music but, ya know, infinitely worse. Essentially, black people wanted a new sound to accompany this new life and so they fuckin made it and it’s great.

The similarities of blues to field hollers and spirituals are relatively easy enough to hear if you know where to look which isn’t really surprising given that blues is the evolution of it. For example the basic structure stayed pretty similar, simple rhyming schemes, simple harmonies, melismatic vocal structures in places, and many times the lyrics were often very similar to those forms before them. But it goes even further than that! Most of the early blues melodies were directly derived from their spiritual predecessors. So for some comparison here’s some songs, first one is gonna be a field holler, next one is gonna be a spiritual, and then the last one is gonna be a blues song mmk? And here we go:

AND ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT WAIT, JUST CAUSE IM FUCKIN, OOO BABE, OK, SO WHEN I WAS RESARCHING THIS FUCKING EPISODE I WAS TRYING TO FIND GOOD AUDIO CLIPS TO USE, AND LEMME TELL YA MAN YOU WOULDN’T THINK SPIRITUALS WOULD FUCKIN EXIST OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY OF FUCKING CONGRESS CAUSE APPARENTLY THEY HAVE A GODDAMN STRANGLEHOLD ON ALL BLACK SPIRITUALS EVER RECORDED BY THE LOMAX’S. The thing is is that fuckin copyright at least in the states is supposed to run out 75 years after the death of the recorder or fucking owner of the rights, which it certainly has been for Alan Fucking Lomax BUT NOOOOOOO, I HAVE TO NEARLY PURCHASE A GODDAMN CD IN ORDER TO GET YOU GUYS A FUCKING ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF MUSIC THAT CAME OUT LIKE 100 YEARS AGO. To be clear I refuse to buy anything for this podcast other than my recording equipment, but man researching this podcast is big joab hours, god just keeps fuckin testing me. Just slap my ass and call me a pickle, ok, rage is over, time for songs:

These freed populations wanted a new music, a music that fit their current situation better, that didn’t rely on the imagery of the past in order to get across the situation they were in. And so that’s what blues did, it was a new sound for a new era and even more importantly it was a sound entirely their own. Whereas field hollers and various other types of music sung by enslaved peoples were by definition their invention, many of them still borrowed heavily from the dominant cultures of their oppressors, and so in creating blues what they had was something they could 100% call their own. Even if they didn’t own the land they worked/lived on, and had few rights to the crops they sewed and reaped, they did have blues, and that’s something beautiful.

But when does it become a thing, like when does blues start becoming a thing? And that’s a hard part. Like any cultural phenomenon it’s hard to fuckin say, there’s some accounts that say 1865 like the fuckin second the civil war ended, then there’s some that attribute it to the 1920s. Most of the sources I’ve looked at put it around 1890-1910. It originates unsurprisingly in and around the Mississippi Delta Region and East Texas where you have a lot of farmland and thus a lot of poor folks just trying to scratch out a living for themselves. AND SO THE BLUES BECOMES A THING AND IT’S COOL AS HELL AND IT DEVELOPS IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS! And I’m sorry that I’m not gonna get enough time to do every subgenre of blues, but we’re gonna look at 3 of the big regions or subgenres of blues.

So blues first of all have all those things that I mentioned before simple rhyming schemes, like ABAB or ABCC, simple harmonies, Call and response is definitely a thing that still happens in this specific style, but then they also have blues notes, for those who missed the last episode, blues notes are notes within a standard scale that are “bent” (or at least that’s how they were initially described.) These notes are lowered by a semitone making the overall colour of the sound a bit darker and more… emotional, sad? Like we ascribe emotions to the way things sound and that might be western centric, I’m actually gonna have to look into it later, but for western listeners we’re gonna read the emotion in these tones as sad. So the notes specifically are lowered the 3rd 5th and 7th degrees of a regular scale. I’m going to play you guys an example of blues scale in just a second but the guy playing the example is using the pentatonic version of the scale meaning only 5 notes of it.

In terms of instruments the most standard you’re going to find in any blues band is at it’s most basic one guitar and a person singing. You could even make an argument that just singing could be blues if you’re using a blues scale but usually there will at least a guitar and one dude singing. The rest of the intstruments are gonna depend on the region you’re playing from. So remember the moaning thing I mentioned last time? The moaning style vocals? Not pioneered by but made popular by a man that went by Blind Lemon Jefferson? This one:

Well he falls under the Mississippi/Texas type of blues which we’re gonna call texasippi. It differs from other types of blues in the united states for a couple reasons but one of them is that moaning style of vocals, in other parts of the country the style where the blues vocals function similarly to other styles of singing, clean and clear, no moaning. Another cool thing that texasippi blues also does is they incorporate a lot of metal into the way they play their guitars. Not like the heavy screamy kind that’s come to be MY fave, but like actual metal objects! How they incorporate this is through the strings of the guitar specifically causing a little extra twangy buzzing when the strings resonate but also a sort of pleasing screech when they’re shifted up and down the strings like this:

but what did they use to make this sound? Well just about anything small enough and metal you could thread between the strings or held against them while playing, this coulda been bottle caps, pocket knives, silverware. Remember, we’re still talking about a type of music that was very much being played by people without very much or no money, so you’re using what you can to make it. Nowadays you can purchase wee cylanders made of glass or metal that go over ur fingers that you press up against the strings to create the desired effect. In addition to this, something that’s pretty regional to the blues in this area is the harmonica. I’m assuming most of you know about the harmonica and have heard it but for those who don’t, the harmonica is a squanky reed instrument that you play with your mouth. I would tell you the physics of how it works but fuck if I ever studied physics. Basically when you blow in it, it vibrates the reed and makes a note depending on the holes you blow into, and when you suck air in it, it makes other sounds! They can be very very large or very very small thus changing how low or high the sound is respectively. They were invented somewhere in the early 1800s in Germany we think and they sound something like this:

How were harmonicas introduced into blues music? Well turns out, much like some of the other instruments we’ll see in a hot minute, harmonicas were often carried by soldiers during the American civil war, even President Abraham Lincoln himself was reported to have carried a harmonica with him in his coat pocket and would play it as he “found it comforting.” Thing about the harmonica was that it was relatively easy to make and it was extremely cheap to buy in comparison to other instruments at the time, even better was that you really didn’t need lessons to figure out how to make it sound good. So during the reconstruction period, as industrialization rapidized in America, and harmonicas became more available, and previous soldiers reminisced about the songs they heard played in their camps during the civil war, more and more people started picking up the harmonica. And so poor southern americans were able to incorporate the instrument into this new music they were developing like this:

Also I would big time recommend just watching the video for that song, dudes just sittin there legit just suckin on his harmonica at some point, that’s what I fucking call dedication bud. The cool part about blues from the texasippi way is then during the great migration, the phenomenon that I mentioned last episode, where black southerners just start heading northwards, is that the blues travels with them too. Just briefly on the great migration, remember all the shitty stuff I discussed earlier, the lack of work, sharecropping, lynching and what have you? That’s why the great migration takes place. Basically black people all around the south are going jesus fucking christ shit sucks let’s get out of here and find somewhere better to be, and so they do, and about 6 MILLION Black Americans head north to where it’s… better. I mean there’s definitely still racism and all sorts of jim crow era laws and practices up north but it is still some degree better than the south. So this great migration is how texasippi blues music then comes to be transplanted into Chicago, and turns into Chicago blues.

“BUT LAURA” YOU SAY, UR HANDS CLENCHED INTO FISTS AT UR SIDES, “IF TEXASIPPI BLUES IS THE SAME AS THE ONES IN CHICAGO THEN HOW’RE THEY DIFFERENT!?” YOU CRY WITH TEARS FORMING AT THE SIDES OF YOUR EYES. And you’re right b, they are the same so why are they different? Well ya gotta remember that time does funny stuff to music similarly as it does with language and just abut anything else, things change over time, AND, things get invented over time. And time as we’re moving into now is like 30s and 40s era. So in the case of Chicago blues we get the additives of the piano, which has been around for some time but people are now just being able to put into their blues music due to becoming more financially stable, BUT WE ALSO GET THE COOL NEW INVENTION OF THE ELECTRIC GUITAR. Now there is some speculation over the invention of most things throughout history, for example, y’all might be familiar of Thomas Edison not actually inventing the lightbulb and being a bit of a dick about things, so when I talk about inventors of things, unless otherwise stated, please take it with some amount of a grain of salt. So Paul H Tutmarc may have been the first person to invent the first electric guitar when he managed, by some feat of science, which I will not explain because science is for wizards and freeks and while I am both of those I am not at all qualified or able to explain it, but essentially he managed to electrify a Hawaiian guitar! He supposedly invented this sometime in the 1930s. Here’s an example of what that sounds like:

Very Spongebobby… spongeboblike…spongebobesque… so EITHERWAY the electric guitar, as well as the electric bass is invented and so those are then infused into Chicago blues. In some cases you will also get the addition of drums and saxophone, but it is the electrified elements as well as the piano that really characterize the biggest difference between Chicago blues and texasippi blues. Overall, it sounds like this:

Something you also probably heard in there was just the level of intensity, the volume or what I’m gonna call the perceived volume, is louder. Whereas the songs of the texasippi blues is a little softer, quieter, very much just dude and his guitar volume, Chicago blues is gonna sound a little louder and a little more intense at most times. This is due to blues clubs becoming a big thing during this time period. And why shouldn’t they? In diaspora communities, that is communities consisting of people from a similar ethnic or national background, you often get patterns of similar settlement. So in our case, when Black Americans started moving northward, they would often settle in similar communities or move into similar communities based off of their ethnicity. Afterall you wanna be able to live in places where people understand your experience. There’s also the element of racism of course, homeowners associations making it hard for Black folk to move into white neighbourhoods and of course school segregation which didn’t end until the 1954. So while in some cases there was def an element of wanting to feel safe in a community of people who understand you, there’s also a big ol element of racism as there pretty much always is when we talk about anything. Seriously ur gonna be surprised at how far reaching and fucking just convoluted and stupid racism is, especially when we get into like Europeans being racist against other Europeans. So since we have all these people moving up north they need to be entertained, we all need entertainment after-all, but lo and behold! They can’t go to white clubs in a lot of cases because fucking racism (unless you are a performer in which case sometimes you can go to white clubs but only to perform, I’m gonna get more into that when we have our jazz episode.) So we start having blues clubs and because they’re a club and there’s drinking and talking and what not, often these songs tend to be a little louder or more rowdy to compensate.

On the other end of the country we also have my favorite flavour of blues which is the New Orleans blues. I’m definitely 100 percent biased when I say this but why does everything in New Orleans just sound better? If I had to guess it’s the multiculturalism and thus people bringing in tonnes of different ideas, but it’s hard to quantify awesome so we’re just gonna leave it there. BUT YEAH so we have texasippi blues that travels down the river (cause things rarely travel up a river) and hits New Orleans. But again, if we’re talking about the same style of blues then what makes it different? A lot hunny, a lot. So as we talked about in our last episode there’s a lot of different cultural elements at play in Louisianna culminating in some cool ass musical styles and changes. It’s also absolutely something we’re gonna talk about when we go back and do the Jazz episode cause lord knows New Orleans jazz is just as fuckin hot and dangerous (like serious lemme just go fuckin hangout with you guys down there, that’s all I want, musical tour of louisianna) I will say though that the line between jazz and blues does tend to get a little blurry though when we’re talking about New Orleans Blues so just hold onto ur femurs there yall and strap in.

So New orleans blues is different from other types of blues again by incorporating horns and piano into the music, most notably this will be the trumpet cause trumpets after the civil war just kinda leached out into the general public and since people got used to them in that capacity they became sorta naturally engrained into the soundscape of the music of the area. “but laura doesn’t Chicago also have horns?!” and ur right man they absolutely do, but there’s even more. So where texasippi blues relies on a rather standard rhythms in most cases, the New Orleans Blues scene takes from some of that different heritage and combines Caribbean inspired or based rhythms. We can find a good example of the inspiration for those rhythms in another genre of music that was popular at the same time, Calypso. Calypso is a genre of music which we will look more in depth in the future but just really generally for now it is popular in the Caribbean as well as certain parts, South America (particularly Venezuela), Mexico, and of course New Orleans during this time. It is usually up-beat and relies a lot on emphasizing the offbeat, and these are all things that we hear being incorporated into New Orleans blues during the time. So when we hear blues from New Orleans, one of the things we can usually use to tell the difference is merely just the upbeat tempo of things and slightly more rhythmically complex manner in which it existed. In fact Blues in New Orleans was so fuckin different it actually started what we know of as R&B or rhythm and blues which sounds like this:

Just a quick detour, I fuckin love like, blues and jazz names. The Man I played just there was Roy Brown but man the names really take off on occasion my personal favorite being Guitar Slim Jr., but we also got Fats domino (sometimes just known as fats, or the fat man), we god fuckin Professor Longhair, we got a dude who just goes by the name sugar boy, like… guys…. What happened to nicknames like that, I wanna walk around and when people see me comin at a distance they just point and go oh lord here comes swamp papa, like, that’s livin man, I dunno what to tell you but that’s absolutely livin.

Anyhow, what ur gonna notice, or maybe you didn’t notice but I’m gonna tell you and you can go back and notice is that blues, (along with jazz but we’re gonna get to that) as it goes on and evolves starts sounding a lot like early rock and roll music, and that doesn’t happen by coincidence. Also you’re probably noticing that blues at least as far as it goes for the Chicago variety and the New Orleans variety we talked about, sound a hell of a lot like Jazz and again we’ll get more into the specifics later. The thing is when we talk about invention, whether it be music, or physical things, or even sometimes schools of thought and ideas is that things get borrowed and changed and moulded into something else by other people. Hell the phenomenon of something being invented in multiple different places at the same time is so common enough that it even has a name, it’s called multiple discovery. Generally people in North America prefer a more black and white “this thing was developed at this time and this place by this person because definitive reason definitive reason definitive reason.” Because we have this weird sense of individuality and crediting individuals with discovery as opposed to a group or the society itself as maybe it should more rightly be. This means that in our endless want to categorize and systematize and ize all these things, particularly things like music, it gets sorta difficult to discern what is what and why and how. Of course we’ve already seen this with spirituals and gospel, and now we’ve seen it with blues/jazz/and early rock.

I just wanted to bring it up sooner than later because, especially as we move into more modern north American Genres, and honestly genres from various other places throughout the world. I wanted to bring this up now before we go any further in this podcast because as we get into more modern genres and hell maybe even with this episode I imagine I might get some rather angry mail from elitests who will smash their foreheads on the keyboard in absolute blind fuckin dismay and rage accusing me of putting the wrong genre lables on the wrong songs. The thing is though, like most art, or definitions in life, things are salient. Just because music fits one genre doesn’t mean it only fits within that genre, in the case of the Rhythm and Blues song by Roy brown that I played earlier, while it is definitely Rhythm and Blues there’s also gonna be other people who strongly consider that Rock and Roll. And that’s alright! Music doesn’t have to rigidly fit into one genre, we give things genre titles or group things into genres to help more easily understand their histories and identify other things that sound like it! All music is going to have variation, and in the case of rhythm and blues, a style of blues that very much informs early rock, you’re going to have cross roads like that. So instead of getting defensive, maybe take some time to think about how cool it is that music exists on an ever evolving spectrum.

So with that, that’s all for just a music podcast this week, I hope you’ve heard something new, and I hope you’ve heard something that you like. If you haven’t there’s always next time where we’re actually gonna do something a little different. Next time we’re gonna look at the Minstrel show which I’m subtitling right now, “why we don’t wear black face.” In the meantime, though if one of y’all would like to suggest a topic I would love nothing more than to answer your musical questions or talk about topics that interest you guys in music. Feel free to drop me a line at [email protected]

List of Music: Jump Jim Crow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjIXWRG09Qk

Belton Sutherland's field holler (1978) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CPJwt14d5E&list=PLAyuUbD3Cdhxx__cTlFDrkxxKiYllrYwJ&index=2

Wash Dennis & Charlie Sims - Lead Me To The Rock - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmPqmLovNms&list=PLAyuUbD3Cdhxx__cTlFDrkxxKiYllrYwJ&index=4

Leroy Carr & Scrapper Blackwell - How Long Has That Evening Train Been Gone - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEw0ek2BhJE

Blind Lemon Jefferson – Black Snake Moan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3yd-c91ww8

Mississippi Fred McDowell - You gotta move - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtlVSedpIRU&feature=emb_logo

Red River Valley -Traditional - Harmonica solo by Kyong H. Lee - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKM4bn4kS-0

Sonny Boy Williamson - Keep it to Yourself - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtRxJDb3vlw

Paul Tutmarc performs - My Tane - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUOms5y6cmI

Buddy Guy - First Time I Met The Blues - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1jruvTBleY

Roy Brown - Mighty Mighty Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhp8jMykAVg

Technical Clip I used: PianoPig (on youtube) - Minor Pentatonic vs Blues Scale https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwz0b-At1ys

#music #music podcast #podcast #just a music podcast #music history

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bamon4bamily · 4 years

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TVD 9x11 - Jukebox Feels (part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to - 2018 prison world, the Salvatore mansion. Katherine walks through the front door, dazed and confused. She must be having a nightmare, she thinks to herself; this can’t be happening, she can’t possibly be where she thinks she is. Although her intuition tells her the contrary, she gives it a shot, on the slim chance it might not be true…

KATHERINE: Hello? Anyone there? (She searches the house; as expected, it’s empty. She tries different techniques to escape the situation. Pinches herself to wake up, nothing. Taps her feet together, and with her eyes closed whispers: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home… doesn’t work either). Maybe if I go to sleep, I’ll wake up and everything will be back to normal… Yes, I need to sleep (she goes into Stefan’s room, puts on one of his pajamas and lies in his bed. Not even a minute in, and she’s off dreaming of sheep.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. After a beautiful moonlight dinner, Damon and Bonnie sit on the beach, admiring the full moon’s glow, and some real good tequila.

DAMON: (Randomly) Truth or dare…

BONNIE: (Laughs) Are you serious?

DAMON: I’m dead serious, come on, scaredy-cat!

BONNIE: Please! I just don’t want to humiliate you, cry-baby!

DAMON: Oh, it’s on! Brace yourself for defeat!

BONNIE: Bring it!

DAMON: One rule, no magic or psychy stuff!

BONNIE: Fine, no vamp tricks.

DAMON: Deal. Truth or dare?

BONNIE: Dare.

DAMON: I’ll start easy, (smirks) don’t want you loosing so fast. I dare you to take a shot of tequila while doing a handstand.

BONNIE: Piece of cake! (Delivers to perfection) My turn, truth or dare?

DAMON: Truth.

BONNIE: Okay, let’s settle this once and for all; do you steal from the bank when we play monopoly?

DAMON: (Grins) Not every time…

BONNIE: (Whacks him with her elbow) I knew it!

DAMON: What can I say, Bon, too much temptation. Okay, truth or dare?

BONNIE: Dare.

DAMON: I’m sensing a pattern here, but suit yourself. I dare you to go up to one of the people at the bar and tell them, in a very low and creepy voice, I see dead people…

BONNIE: I’m gonna get you back for this one! (Although hesitant, she delivers; freaking the hell out of the poor soul unfortunate to be approached by her. They go back to their spot) Okay, Mr. smarty pants. My turn, truth or dare… and you better choose dare!

DAMON: Dare… I say truth!

BONNIE: I’ll break you, eventually. What is the most embarrassing thing in your room?

DAMON: Oh, you’re going there! You already know the answer…

BONNIE: I do, but I want to hear you say it.

DAMON: Fine, my unicorn onesies.

BONNIE: With a butt crack… can’t forget the butt crack (she laughs)!

DAMON: They’re cozy! Okay, missy, shit just got real! Truth or dare…

BONNIE: I’m going with truth; just cause I know you’ll make me do some crazy shit after that one.

DAMON: (With a wicked grin, rubbing his hands) Excellent… What is your guilty pleasure?

BONNIE: Oh, come on! You know that…

DAMON: I do, but I also want to hear you say it, so, go on…

BONNIE: Fine… occasionally I like to dress up like Whitney Houston in the Queen of the Night video from the Bodyguard, and perform in front of the mirror…

DAMON: Occasionally? More like every other Sunday... and it’s HOT AF!

BONNIE: Can’t believe you caught me doing that!

DAMON: One of my fondest prison world memories! I have to hand it to you, Bon, you really got creative with the costume.

BONNIE: I’ve perfected it since then… Well, there, I said it! Happy now?

DAMON: Never been happier… (leans in to kiss her) and you are, beyond a doubt, the queen of the night…

BONNIE: Don’t think for a second that’s gonna get you out of what’s coming…Truth or dare?

DAMON: I’m a mix it up and go with dare.

BONNIE: (With a wicked grin, rubbing her hands) Been waiting for that since we started.

DAMON: I’m instantly regretting my decision.

BONNIE: (Laughs) Oh, and you should! You’re in trouble now… Mr. Damon Salvatore, your mission, which you have no choice but to accept, is to (she opens a portal to their room, goes and comes back).

DAMON: Hey, we said no tricks!

BONNIE: You said no magic, no psychic stuff, but you never mentioned teleporting, so suck it! Here (hands him one of her outfits and her make-up kit) Put this on, make-up and all. Once you are ready, and looking gorge, you are going to perform Queen of the Night to the guests at the beach bar. Good luck, doll! (Laughs hysterically).

DAMON: Oh, Bon-Bon… when you least expected, I’ll get you back.

BONNIE: (Mocking) I’m sure you will; but for now, come on, dancing queen, your audience awaits. (Damon performs, surprisingly well, or at least good enough to receive and applause from his audience, who, although very confused, found the show quite entertaining. They go back to their spot). You did great, almost nailed the choreography.

DAMON: Well, I learned from the best.

BONNIE: I think it’s safe to say I won this little game.

DAMON: This time around…

BONNIE: How bout you get out of those clothes, I get out of mine, and we go for a night swim?

DAMON: Don’t have to ask me twice! (As he is taking the high heels off) How do you guys walk in these things??

BONNIE: You get used to it, (teasing) just don’t get too used to it... Ready, my night queen?

DAMON: (Carries her) Let’s go, witchy! (They swim under the moonlight; then make love till sunrise).

Cut to - The secret facility, Edward’s cell. He has been sleeping for quite some time. He slowly begins to wake; as he opens his eyes, he sees someone lying on the floor under a pool of blood, right next to his bed. He jumps up in a scare.

AUGUSTUS: Oh, don’t be alarmed, son, it’s not me, I’m doing just fine. Meet your uncle Pete; granted it might not be the best introduction, but hey, you wanted to meet your family… well, there you go.

EDWARD: (Disgusted and in shock) What is this!!??

AUGUSTUS: It’s a dead body, son. And, from what I hear they start to smell pretty bad once they decompose; so, I suggest you move fast and bring your cousin Matty back. Feel free to use our tech if it helps, Eddie here (points to the strange man that has been standing outside his cell everyday) is more than happy to help.

EDWARD: (Crying in despair, looking at the corpse) Oh god, oh, god!!! (To his father) You are fucking insane!!!

AUGUSTUS: Language, boy! I taught you better manners than that… guess I should have never left you in Tamara’s care; what a waste of an ivy-league education. My fault for bringing in the trash. Oh, well… time is ticking, and that body is stinking… Ha, that rhymed, maybe I should pick up poetry? I always did love Literature… Anyway, (belittling) Mayor Powell, let’s see just how smart and powerful you really are. Rest assured, if you get the job done, I promise I will make it worth your while (he leaves; Edward can’t stop crying, imagining Matt’s pain).

Cut to - Munich, Germany. Sam, Elena, Sage, and Alex, are having some drinks, after their first days of the program.

SAGE: I knew this program was going to be out of the ordinary, but it’s totally blowing my mind!

ELENA: I agree, it’s amazing! The equipment we have access to is unbelievable! Never knew those types of tools and tech even existed.

SAM: (Putting his drink up for a cheer) Here’s to an unorthodox quality education, and to new awakenings!

ALL: Cheers! (They drink, share some laughs and anecdotes; at some point, the boys get into their own conversation in another area of the bar. Elena and Sage have no option but to interact more closely).

ELENA: Listen, I’m sorry for calling you a bitch.

SAGE: I’m sorry for being one. (Holds her hand out for a handshake) Do-over?

ELENA: Do-over (shakes her hand). So, tell me, why are you so obsessed with Pietro? Not judging, just curious.

SAGE: I know a lot of people think he is just an entitled jerk, but he is so far from that. I mean, yes, he is arrogant and pretentious, but when you’ve accomplished what he has, you kind of earn the right to be.

ELENA: Still don’t get it, what has he accomplished? He’s not even a Doctor…

SAGE: He owns the world’s most groundbreaking technology companies. Ai, IoT, nanotech, you name it, he is behind it. He might not be the science side of the operation, but he is the business side that makes it possible. Just between us, I’m pretty sure he is a vampire. Get this, while I was doing research on his background, I stumbled upon some pretty crazy documentation that dates his birth back to 1865. It’s either that, or he stole some real old dead guy’s identity.

ELENA: That is definitely not a coincidence… Do the names Stefan and Damon Salvatore ring a bell?

SAGE: Never heard of them, who are they?

ELENA: Besides my ex-boyfriends, I think they might be Pietro’s half-brothers.

SAGE: (Laughs) That’s impossible…

ELENA: Put two and two together…

SAGE: Oh, they’re also…? OMG! So, you slept with two vampires, and they were brothers??!! I totally miss read you, you’re a badass!! I love it!! (Holds her drink up) Cheers for that!

ELENA: Well, the brothers thing is something I’m really not proud of. I was young and gave in to my darkest desires; but I guess karma got me served, because they both fell in love with my best friends; so…

SAGE: Hey, nothing to be ashamed of; more power to you! I mean, it’s okay when men do it, but as woman we get shamed for it… Fuck that shit!

ELENA: Good point... (holds her glass up for a cheer) Here’s to woman equality!

SAGE: Fuck yeah! So, tell me, how did you end up getting involved with vampires?

ELENA: It’s a long and complicated story… Let’s just say I look exactly like someone they were once very obsessed with, and it grew from there.

SAGE: Who did you go out with first?

ELENA: Stefan… my first true love; but then I fell for the bad boy, who just happened to be his brother. Like I said, not proud, but that’s how it went down.

SAGE: Was it serious?

ELENA: Very. With Stefan I could see my entire future; it was like a fairytale love. With Damon, I lived for the moment and was consumed with passion.

SAGE: Sounds like you were quite in a predicament.

ELENA: I was, for a while; but I ended up choosing Damon.

SAGE: So, what happened? Why did you two split?

ELENA: There were many reasons, but every time I go back to it, I think it’s because we got off to a wrong start. When I became a vampire, I was sired to him… not the best way to start a relationship.

SAGE: Wait, you are a vampire!!? Are you kidding me?!! This story keeps getting better and better!

ELENA: No, no! I’m not one anymore, but I was.

SAGE: Oh, okay, you freaked me out there for a sec! Anyway, then, what happened? Spill!!

ELENA: Well, a whole bunch of crazy stuff... then I took a cure, became human again, only to be put into a three-year sleeping spell, then I woke up. At first it was bliss, but then, once we moved in together our deeper problems began to surface…

SAGE: Did those problems have to do with him falling for one of your best friends?

ELENA: Not expressively… but in part, yes. I knew he was in love with her, and that there was nothing I could do to change that.

SAGE: Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.

ELENA: I mean, he never cheated or anything like that, they didn’t even get together until recently, but just knowing he would never love me like her, hurt for a while… then I met Sam…

SAGE: Wow, that’s quite a story!

ELENA: Straight out of a supernatural YA book, am I right?

SAGE: I’m a big fan of YA drama, and supernatural lure, so, right up my alley! Okay, let me ask you one last question. If you could go back, would you make the same choice?

ELENA: What do you mean?

SAGE: Stefan or Damon? Who would you choose?

ELENA: (Laughs) Uhm, okay, that’s a weird question…

SAGE: Oh, come on, just for fun, and keeping with the YA context.

ELENA: I’d say as a human, I would choose Stefan; as a vampire, Damon. But I guess it wouldn’t matter who I would choose, since they wouldn’t choose me a second time around, that’s for sure.

SAGE: (Teasing) Well, good news for Sam.

ELENA: Okay, I shared my stories; now it’s your turn.

SAGE: Well my stories are quite boring compared to that!

ELENA: Still, spill! It’s only fair, you have leverage on me, I should have some on you.

SAGE: Fair enough. What do you want to know?

ELENA: You and Alex, what’s the story there?

SAGE: Oh god, no! Nothing like that, he’s like a brother to me.

ELENA: Aw, that’s too bad, you two are cute together. How about you and Sam, anything ever happen between you two?

SAGE: This conversation is getting dangerous...

ELENA: Oh, come on, what’s in the past is in the past; there’s nothing dangerous about that.

SAGE: Fine, you asked for it. Long time ago, one crazy drunken night; that’s all.

ELENA: I know, he told me; just wanted to check if you would be honest with me.

SAGE: (Teasing) Now who’s the bitch!

ELENA: Sorry, trust issues. Now, for real, any past epic loves?

SAGE: Uhm, not really… I mean, I’ve had many relationships but nothing serious. I’m not the deep connection type; I just like to have fun, and I don’t like to put in the time, so short and sweet works out perfectly for me.

ELENA: Crazy hookups?

SAGE: Now that is my area of expertise! Wow, where do I start… I’ve done all the clichés, mile high club being my favorite one. But I have to say, the craziest has been with someone you actually know, (mocking) the renowned city Mayor of Mystic Falls.

ELENA: (Spits out her drink) Are you serious? You had a thing with Edward Powell? How do you even know him?!

SAGE: From NYC, our hometown. We were both part of the upper east side elite; a real Gossip Girl type thing. And let me tell you, he might seem like a Nate on the outside, but inside, he is a full-on Chuck Bass. Anyway, we went to this masquerade ball at an exclusive mansion outside the city. Long story short, we ended up covering for a murder which turned out to be anything but that; it was just a really drunk-ass Wall-Street magnate, that passed out in a tub filled with red wine. Good thing he woke up before we finished filling the whole… and that he didn’t see us having sex next to what we thought was his corpse. In our defense, we were also really drunk, and high as fuck.

ELENA: Holy shit! And you call your stories boring? Wonder what the exciting ones are like!

SAGE: (Laughs; then sees that Alex and Sam are heading back to their table) Well, that’s a conversation for another night… this has been fun, but I think our girl time is over; I’m glad we had a chance to talk like this.

ELENA: Me too, and I’m sorry I was so quick to judge you.

SAGE: Dido. Friends?

ELENA: Friends.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Bonnie, Damon, Stefan and Caroline are having a nice beachfront brunch.

CAROLINE: I can’t believe this is our last day! Time went by way too fast!

BONNIE: I know, seems like we just got here.

STEFAN: How about we make a deal, right here, the four of us.

DAMON: (Teasing) Bro, we are not even done with brunch; plus, it would be way too weird…

STEFAN: Of course your mind would go there… Anyway, no, Damon, that’s not what I want to propose. How do you guys feel about spending some money and investing on a property down here? That way we can come back whenever we want.

CAROLINE: I love it, yes!!!!

BONNIE: I’m in!

STEFAN: Damon?

DAMON: Just tell me where to sign!

BONNIE: La Bruja is coming over for dinner tonight, maybe she can give us some tips on property here.

STEFAN: That be great. I’m thinking nothing too fancy, but definitely beachfront.

BONNIE: And secluded.

CAROLINE: 2 master bedrooms, 1 kids room, and two or three guestrooms for when Ty, Lexi, Matt and Alaric come visit.

DAMON: So much for “not too fancy” …

CAROLINE: I’m not saying it needs to be fancy, just spacious, there are way too many of us.

BONNIE: We’ll also need a garden, good footprint area so we can grow our own food.

CAROLINE: And a pool of course, for the girls.

STEFAN: And I think we can all agree, we need a big bar.

DAMON: And a wine cellar.

STEFAN: Maybe we’re gonna have to build it from scratch, I’m pretty sure we won’t be able to find a place that checks all of our boxes.

BONNIE: If we have someone design it for us, I’m pretty sure La Bruja and I can pull it off.

DAMON: It’s settled then, we’ll brief La Bruja over dinner and start to plan our perfect Belvafore hide-away!

STEFAN: Belvafore?

DAMON: Yes; Bennett, Salvatore, and Forbes… Belvafore!

BONNIE: (To Stefan, mocking Damon) I’m telling you, not even with his vamp back on…

CAROLINE: I like it! It’s like Steroline and Bamon!

BONNIE: Steroline and Bamon?

CAROLINE: Yes, Bamon, aka, Bonnie and Damon; isn’t it perfect?! Stefan came up with it.

STEFAN: Sorry, Bon, just a fan.

BONNIE: (Laughing) Oh, Stefan, didn’t see that one coming... And Steroline, is Stefan and Caroline...

CAROLINE: You got it! (With pride) I came up with that one!

BONNIE: (With a y’all crazy look) Okay...

DAMON: Oh, come on, Bon-Bon; Bamon, gotta love it!

BONNIE: Fine, I’ll admit it... y’all crazy but I love it!

CAROLINE: (Holds her mimosa glass up for a cheer) To Belvafore and building new traditions!

ALL: Cheers!

Cut to – The Salvatore school, Alaric’s study. Alaric, and Radka, are trying to figure out their next steps.

ALARIC: How could I have been so reckless and stupid…

RADKA: It was an honest mistake, Ric. How were you supposed to know what would happen?

ALARIC: I know how dangerous that little gadget is, it was my responsibility to keep it under lock and key. Now, thanks to me, Katherine is probably being hunted down by a psychopath.

RADKA: Katherine is strong and witty, if anyone, Kai is the one that needs to worry. I’m sure she’ll be fine; we just need to figure out how to bring her back.

ALARIC: The only one that can help with that is Bonnie, and I’m not letting her go near Kai. We need to figure out a way to do this without the need for Bennett blood.

RADKA: How about 2 werewolves, 2 vampires and a hunter… think we could pull it off?

ALARIC: The problem is not getting in, but out… there’s no way out without the right ingredients.

RADKA: Okay, I might be thinking crazy here, but we need to think outside the box. What if we ask Margo to summon a Bennett witch, she can open a temporary spirit realm and do an incarnation spell so she can be materialized; then, we go to this prison world, get Katherine and use the blood of that Bennett witch to come back…

ALARIC: That sounds insane… but it might actually work. Isn’t Margo still on sick leave?

RADKA: She’s better now, called me up this morning to let me know she’d be back tomorrow.

ALARIC: Do you think she would be up for it?

RADKA: Not sure, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Cut to – 2018 prison world, Stefan’s room. Katherine wakes up to find herself tied up with her mouth covered. Kai is sitting on a chair, reading. He looks quite different than expected; very clean cut and intellectual, glasses and all.

KAI: I’m sorry I had to tie you up, but I do not appreciate intruders. God, these new generations have completely lost their manners. Sneaking into other people’s homes, putting on their nightclothes, sleeping in their beds… The audacity!

(Kai gets up, walks towards one of the many jukeboxes he has installed around the house, and plays a song...)

youtube

TVD 9x11 (part 2), coming soon! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

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