#forgive my lack of elaboration it is 5 am

[son0f-madness]

18. Do you prep for sessions?

12. What's your favorite part of playing DND?

doing these out of the order you gave me in favor of the prompt TnT

1 Do you plot separate arcs or wing it?. Since my campaign is loosely based on Dimension 20’s Fantasy High, thankfully I don’t HAVE to plan arcs as they’re pretty much planned out for me. But yeah, you’ll see more of some characters in the future so don’t forget about all of them yet

8 Do you prefer world or character creation?. Character 100% fleshing out a whole villain and their personality/motives is much more fun to me than world building. I do love world building, especially when other people do it, but there’s a reason why these characters are the way that they are. Whether you find that out or not is depending on if you ask correctly

9 What’s your favorite thing your players do?. When you take control of the rp :> You make your own inside jokes between the characters and make the world real.

10 How do you come up with characters?. Jericho put a gun to my head and threatened my family.

12 What’s your favorite part of playing dnd?. Mentioned in nines answers a bit but I like role playing with my friends. I like telling a story that we all make together.

18 Do you prep for sessions?. As a player or as a DM? Because as a dm I’ll plan out a beginning and an end and maybe a point to hit in the middle but after that it’s pretty much all you guys. As a player though, 9/10 my character sheet doesn’t even get opened until the DM asks me to roll for something

[katyspersonal]

Hooooo boy...

"I am sorry I did a bad thing but you see where I am coming from right??? I only wanted to be left alone so of course I picked a side. But I didn't really PICK a side, you know? Also I DIDN'T just imply that I think there's something wrong with you just a moment earlier. K sorry hope you can get closure" *blocks me before I can even say my own piece*

The way some people are allergic to normal human emotions and experiences is killing me. Imagine thinking your apology was worth a darn thing when you are not even letting the person to react to it. A, I think you are not even really sorry, and you only "apologised" because you gave up trying to rope my friends by your side, seeing that they are more than happy to interact with me.

Your "evidences" for why I am a bad person are 1) six years old super toxic friendship with Kitty (regretted, healed from, improved on from) 2) Tricksterfairy aka Mello lashing at Kitty for lowkey sabotaging my recovery, which Kitty mistook for me and it was debunked (something Lostmarbles conveniently left out) 3) me being angry at Spade for forging friendship and affection "way too fast, way too much" as you've put it only to block me without telling why 4) my friend being angry at N who ditched me over narrative of a hostile person, before having even half of the context 5) me telling Lostmarbles she was a bitch for publicly shaming and hating Mico and that I hated such behaviour.

And.... Of course, 6) me snapping at you when you seemingly defended a person that harassed me and one of the "lovely people" as you called them for a long while.

Six years span.

With so much context, so much nuance, so much explanation for how and why it doesn't make me a "bad person", but only makes me a person that will get hurt when they ARE getting hurt, and will own up to honest misdeeds.

Yet you are so unspeakably allergic to emotions it is absurd, further proven by you not even letting me say my piece. Do you Americans simply never have people who are hot-headed and can say things they regret later? You never have hot-tempered moms? You never have that anger management issues guy that can be too rude but only in words? You never have simply hurt and vulnerable people? There doesn't have to be complex, elaborate backstory of a trauma for a person to justify why they can be angry or rude sometimes - it happens with plenty of neurotypical people, ffs! So, you think all of them are a problem and a "danger"? So, you think all of them deserve to be thrown to ableists that advocate for starving them off of human interaction, do not believe in forgiveness, change and repentment, and were not taught what 'nuance' was in their woke American colleges? So, you think people like me can simply shrug it off, when I have nowhere to go but a fandom, when I can NOT connect with irl normies whose only interests are to pay children and birth taxes, when I cannot even make an eye contact?

No fucking way. You are just allergic to emotions, to normal human flaws, and never knew a person in your life that could have made a mistake or been at the bad place mentally. Yes, I do notice this particularly in Americans. Other cultures and nations that I communicate with are very accepting of emotions, conflict, troubles, flaws, and even [gasp] the fact that some people are JUST incompatible. Your ableist idol Lostmarbles thinks that me not getting along (for the lack of better term) with some people automatically meant that me getting along with other people was nothing. One without a single person to have a conflict with may cast the- ehhhh, whatever, whatever.

______________________

Believe it or not, but just a night ago, I had a dream that someone ratted out my vent post about you to you, and you resorted to unblocking me and speaking up. Not the first time I have had a prophetic dream... But even in my dream, you allowed me to speak BACK. So I am just left with screaming into emptiness.

In the end, I do believe that you are sorry. ....sorry for the likeable mutuals you have lost as they thought you were in the wrong. Don't get me wrong, facing the consequences of your actions is the most primitive, yet the most human form to learn a darn thing. I know it well myself. People always shoot for some transcendental, selfless ideas, but in the end... no. It is being punched in your face with the consequences how you truly learn. It is not "selfish", it is human. So yeah, on my own end, I hope that the sour experience you carried will be a pointer for you on how to act better.

But people not having their best behaviour when being harassed and mistreated and dehumanised is a normal thing. And them resorting to old bad habits when mistreated so is not "evidence they've never changed", either. 'Change' is climbing the rock that may betray you any moment by becoming perfectly smooth and bending by 90° - there is always a risk of being in a situation where you can do nothing but wish to be good.

[hannibalzero]

Would you be willing elaborate on some of the wips or random fic ideas you have right now (preferably rdr2 related, but any fandom, really 🩵)

Wonderful question! but first I want to apologize for the lack of progress on my fics. I have my little nephews staying in my home with me. 3 and 5 have zapped my creativity and I've been trying my best to write but its not happening. so I will be happy to show you what I have.

"Nothing dirty going on chapter four." RDR2 fic This chapter has been rough on me because I'm trying to write Dutch and conflict which isn't something I'm good at. It's why I have rewritten it so many times.

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NDGON4

“Don’t rightfully know?” Hosea mumbled as they came up to the main door, it had been painted red. The door opened to show Arthur Morgan, walking out about to go on the road it seemed. “Arthur? What happened son?” he asked catching the outlaw’s attention from his journal now. “The house? Everyone? Even you look-” Hosea started coughing making Arthur reach out and steady the old omega. 

“Easy ‘seaa, I’lla tell ya.” Arthur helped him onto the bench by the door. “Here.” Arthur took out a vile of ginseng root and let Hosea have it. Arthur made sure he downed the whole thing giving Dutch time to walk over. Arthur nodded his head in greeting to Dutch. “Dutch.’ he straightened back up. 

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RDR2 Centar one shot idea, this is really rough idea but. The gang are all centars and work on a cattle ranch and have to deal with jackass humans, I feel like I would do a lot of world building with this and have a bit of fun. sadly nothing to show as of writing but its a wip none the less.

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"Life in ruins 3" Obikin starwars

Ahsoka pulled Anakin back by his robe collar. “Forgive my Master, Mr.Kenobi! I can’t believe he just did that!” she whipped around to Anakin. “What are you doing?! You’re going to get us kicked off this mission!” She hissed quietly holding Anakin by his ear. 

A sniffle caught their attention, Obi-wan was dabbing at his eyes with the lace handkerchief. “There is nothing to forgive, I am happy to share my joy with you both. It’s just the will of the force.” Obi-wan sniffled again, regrouping himself now. Looking at the vintage chrono, Obi-wan paled. “Stars above, we need to leave well or we shall be late.” Obi-wan slipped his com into his long sleeves and hurried out of the apartment. “Late to my own opening.” Obi-wan laughed at himself.  

“Hey, easy there.” Anakin caught Obi-wan by the door helping the other man with his shoes. Poor Obi-wan was struggling with his belly and the nice pair of dress shoes with just a little heel. “You have the whole Jedi council coming to do the opening ceremony. The masters are always late, plus traffic. We have a bit of time.” Anakin soothed passing Obi-wan his thermos of chilled tea. “Snipps? You ready?” Anakin called out to the young women. 

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Feather soft chaper 2 Obikin star wars

 “I heard a rumor that-” Obi-wan started in a teasing, sing-song tone reaching out to smooth one of Anakin’s unruly feathers. Anakin lived for these touches. Obi-wan was the only one Anakin allowed to touch his heavy, strong wings. When Obi-wan tended to Anakin’s wings, it felt like Anakin was at peace, closer to the force, and well…relaxed. Something very rare for one Anakin Skywalker. 

“Rumors and Gossip are beneath us.” Qui-gon-jinn interrupted as he walked into the cockpit and sat beside Anakin, holding a cup of caff. Anakin almost frowned, how dare their master interrupt something so beautiful that was about to happen? “I sadly agree with you Obi-wan, the better someone does for the galaxy? The more people that want to destroy it.” Qui-gon-jinn said with a tired sigh before looking at Anakin. “How long until we reach Naboo?” he took a sip of the strong caff. 

Even knighted, proper Jedi of their own. Anakin and Obi-wan dutifully responded with a “Yes, Master.” and a slight bow. Qui-gon-jinn still deserved their respect for all the years they trained under the Maverick Jedi. looking at the Chrono, Anakin hit a few buttons showing the halo-map. “We will arrive in four standard-hours, just in time for the sun-rise on Naboo,” Anakin informed leaning back into his chair with a sigh, his durasteal hand over his tired eyes. “This has to be the slowest ship in our fleet.”  

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A world of our own Obikin Starwars

Laying on Booga’s back, holding the light source. A glass sphere with glowing crystals danging on his staff. Obi-wan peered down at Anakin, opening panels, covered in wires like they were some sort of plant’s root system. Anakin bathed in the yellow glow of the crystal's light. Took wires of many different colors, one at a time plugging them into a rectangle metal piece. Obi-wan tapped Booga’s side opening the hidden panel. Booga gave a soft mechanical whine, those blue optics looked to Obi-wan. “There, there…we have you.” Obi-wan soothed the beast in his soft weak voice. 

Plugging the single cord into the port on Booga, Anakin pulled down his goggles as he typed into the old datapad. “Missing something, a physical key…” Anakin grumbled as he worked. “Small, gold with three stones on it from what the records say. Always something.” Anakin hated to admit his emotions felt stronger lately, frustration seemed to be the hardest to control, But before he could get angry, Obi-wan held something down from his perch on Booga’s back. “What’s this?” he asked taking the comb from Obi-wan’s hair now. 

“Key? maybe. “ Obi-wan pointed to the gold comb with the three green stones on it. “Found..long time ago. Use for hair. Try?” He asked pulling his hair up into a ponytail with that small bit of string he wore on his wrist. 

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[julietas-rolling-pin]

Any headcannons about how the triplets act when they’re mad at one person or the other? I imagine that while Pepa is quick to get mad, she gets over it pretty quickly, while Julieta tends to hold a longg grudge.

ALRIGHT HEADCANON TIME!! I definitely agree with you. Just gonna elaborate a bit more:

I'd think Pepa would be quick to anger and get annoyed easily, but she usually gets over it quickly. I personally headcanon that since she constantly has to bottle up her emotions and isn't really allowed to get angry she'll try her best to avoid her siblings and just ignore them, running away from the conflict (not wanting to fight with them in fear of accidentally hurting them with lightning). She's good at forcing herself to get over it, ignoring the problem and pretending everything is fine until it escalates into an explosive fight. And when it does, all these pent up emotions are spilling out very easily and I think she might say things in the heat of the moment that she regrets a lot making her feel worse and angry at herself on top of all that as well. But she can't stay mad at her siblings for long, the first time she held a grudge for more than 2 days was when Bruno left.... and I also think she argued with Alma the most and also people who bully or take advantage of her siblings and their gifts. Pepa's the sister who complains about her siblings all the time but as soon as someone else agrees or says something bad about them she'd start a fight ("HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SIBLINGS" lightning, punches, lots of broken noses). But she forgives easily, just wanting everything to be alright because she can't deal with negative emotions, never learned how to.

Bruno is probably the least confrontational. I can't see him arguing or fighting much but I do think his bluntness actually stings the most when directed at his siblings and lacking a filter when they're arguing. If they do get into a fight which escalates so bad that even Bruno raises his voice, he doesn't hold back. I can see him blurting out things he saw in his visions that he swore he would keep to himself because it would just hurt them. But now he's hurt and just so angry and it just slips out.. like mentioning all the damage Pepa will cause with another hurricane, everyone's favoritism towards Julieta and how she would never be able to understand the other two but even she's not perfect enough to save everyone and just lots of things he didn't want to burden them with. Those arguments end pretty quickly after that because goddamn that's way to much. On a lighter note, he's probably the one to bicker the most with Pepa, they're just constantly teasing each other and it sometimes can get pretty intense but before it becomes hurtful they stop and apologize to each other, laughing and joking not 5 mins later. They also just love to team up and tease Julieta all the time.

Julieta can hold a long grudge. And when I say long I mean YEARS. She will bring up things that happened when they were 10 and hold it over their heads and will not help them or heal their scrapes from doing something stupid. "Because remember when you two ate all the food I prepared the day before because you broke several bones riding a cart boosted by Pepa's wind and crashing in a tree? And I had to stay awake until 3 am to redo all of it??" All she wants to hear is sorry and she'll forgive you but you better not do it again... In arguments she is usually the mediator and tries to break up a fight as soon as possible. But oh boy if she's the one who's angry? You're in for the scolding of your lifetime, it doesn't matter if she's their sister, they're getting a tongue-lashing that rivals Alma's. Probably even worse because Julieta knows everything. Safe to say no one wants to get into arguments with her. (angry Julieta is fucking scary but also no one wants to see her upset or cry, their hearts couldn't handle it, so they don't fight much with her)

[starlightxsvt]

Pink Dress 5 || Joshua Hong au

Pairing: badboy!Joshua x female reader

Genre: slice of life, fluff, suggestive, slight smut

Warnings: nothing really, some cheesy shit ig

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

You didn't ever expect Joshua to show up at your door at 1am on a Saturday. You had finished your assignments staying up late and when you first see him after opening your door, you think you are dreaming.

"Hey," he says softly. You stare at him, ever so confused, taking in his tall frame wearng his leather jacket and his soft locks beautifully messed up. "Y/n?" He breaks your trance. "Oh...yea um, hi. What... brings you here at this hour?" You offer him an awkward smile.

"I... wanted to take you out on a...drive."

Drive?

"At one am?"

"...Yes..."

You chuckle awkwardly. What was he thinking?

Joshua sighs, "I-I've been really restless the past few days and I wanted to clear my head. I also figured I should talk to you. I've a lot to say so..."

Talk? Your mind races. What does he want to talk about? Joshua takes your silence negatively, "Right, I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea. You should sleep. I'll get going."

"No no no, wait. Now that I think about it, I'd like to go on a drive with you." You stop him.The smile he gives you makes your heart swell and you say, " Come inside. I'll need ten minutes to get ready."

-

"I took my dad's car," Joshua explains when you eye the jeep outside. He helps you in and then rounds the car to get in. "Would you like some music?" He offers, starting the car. You nod as he turns on the speakers, a chill melody playing. "So where are we going?"

"The beach," he replies. "I thought we should watch the sunrise together." You hum, resting your head back against the seat. It feels really nice.

Joshua breaks the long silence, "I hope your boyfriend won't mind."

"Huh?" You frown. "I hope Seokmin won't mind that I'm taking you out for a drive," he elaborates, his tone rather bitter.

Oh. You forgot that Joshua thought you were dating Seokmin and while you want to put him out of his misery, it is too fun to mess with him. So you decide to play along, "No it's okay. He won't mind." Joshua doesn't reply and you hide a smile, enjoying the game.

After a long while, the car stops amidst the sands and the ripples of the waves let you know you're there. You get out of the car, followed by Joshua who pulls out a blanket and some snacks from the back of the jeep. "Wow, you've come prepared," you joke and he smiles laying the blanket on the sand for you to sit on. He joins you after parking the car, sharing the quiet view with you. It's dark overall, except from the street lights behind you and the occasional cars that passed by.

You can feel Joshua tensed beside you and you feel bad for him. But you don't speak, waiting for him to say what he wants to say. And after a long, tensed silence, Joshua speaks, "There's a lot I want to say so please bear with me."

"I thought you brought me here to talk," you attempt a joke. Joshua sighs before mouthing, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I ran when you said you liked me. I was...scared. I never felt such emotions before. When you said you liked me, I was overwhelmed. I...I didn't know what to do because the way I feel for you scares me, Y/n."

You glance at him, his head hanging low as he stares at the sands. He continues, his voice strained, "My mother left me when I was young and my dad was always busy. He was too busy to worry about me or spend time with me. So I didn't really know how to accept love and return it. I've always... lfelt like a burden."

"Joshua you're not-"

"Hush. I'm an unworthy man, Y/n. I lack at so many things. And I'm sorry. I wish I was better...more like Seokmin. Everybody loves him. He's nice and kind and he makes you smile." Joshua looks at you, a sad smile on his face and you once again open your mouth to speak only to be shushed by him.

"I know that I've lost my chance but I wanted to be honest with you. I'm okay with you dating Seokmin because that's what you deserve. I just hope you won't abandon me." He says softly, staring at the sea in front of him. "I want you in my life, Y/n. Even if you think of me as a friend it's okay. You're a breath of fresh air. I feel like a better person when I'm around you. So I really hope you won't leave me."

"May I speak?" You murmur and Joshua nods.

"You... misunderstood." You bite your lip. Joshua frowns at you to express his confusion and you smile sheepishly, "I'm not dating Seokmin."

Joshua's eyes go wide like saucers and he's quiet for a bit. You keep on going, "I don't know why you started to think so but it was too fun to mess with you so I played along."

"B-but you and Seokmin hang out together... all the time."

"Yea but that doesn't mean we are dating. You and I used to hang out too, okay?" You reason.

Joshua looks flabbergasted as he runs his hand through his hair, processing what you said. "I... can't believe.... You- .... wow, after I just exposed myself bare to you you say- oh my god, Y/n, you really are something." He says a soft, relieved laugh escaping from him.

You smile, "Sorry."

He shakes his head, a smile lingering on his lips as he asks, "Does this mean I still have a chance?" You bite your lip, warmth kissing your cheeks as you nod softly. Joshua's eyes sparkle as they curve into crescents, a genuine smile spreading on his face. He takes your hand and softly kisses it, "Thank you, Y/n. Thank you for forgiving me. I'll try my best to keep you happy."

"It's okay, Joshua. As long as we're honest with each other and trust each other, we'll be fine." You reply, fondly looking at him. Joshua's eyes twinkle, the smile never really leaving his face as he leans in towards you. You hold your breath, his lips ghosting over you before meeting yours. Your eyes fall closed as he pulls you closer without breaking the kiss, his hands roaming on your back as you grab onto his lapels. Before you know it, Joshua moves you onto his lap as he deepens the kiss, his hands getting rid of the thin cardigan you are wearing. The cold air hits your arms and you pull back, breathing heavily. His eyes glow in the darkness, fueled by his lust and desire courses all through you.

"I missed you so much," his honey like voice wavers through the air as he starts kissing your neck. Soft moans escape you as you mumble a protest, "We're in public, you know."

"It's like 3 am Y/n." He's busy sucking marks on your neck.

"Yea but what if someone sees us."

"Then they'll watch."

"Joshua Hong!" You smack his arms and attempt to get off of him but his hold on you becomes tighter. He pins you down in the blanket, a smirk on his face. "I thought you brought me here to watch the sunrise." You pout.

"Yes and we still have a huge time left before the sun rises so why don't we spend the time doing something fun?"

"I'm not sure about your idea of fun, Joshua." You joke and he rewards you with a smile. "Let's go to my place after this. Its the weekend anyway."

"Your intentions are very bad, Mr. Hong."

"What? I just want to spend some time with my girlfriend."

The title makes you blush and feel giddy, a different kind of happiness spreading through you. You pull him closer and whisper, "I love you, Joshua." His eyes widen for a fraction before a smile envelopes his lips, "I love you Y/n."

And when you enjoy the sunrise a couple hours later, wrapped up in his arms, you know that you want this man beside you for rest of your life.

A long time later

"What do you think of a pink wedding dress, Shua?"

"You'll look gorgeous. I've told you, pink is your color, babe."

"Maybe we should get you a pink tuxedo."

"...If that's what makes you happy then sure, why not."

"You really are the best, Joshua."

"Oh yeah? Wait till I take you on our honeymoon."

"Mhmm, don't forget to wear your pink underwear."

"...You really know how to ruin the mood, babe."

A/N: Aaaand this marks the end of my first series :'D ! Don't forget to leave your feedbacks on this. Tbh when I posted the first part of Pink Dress I didn't think of turning this into a series but here we are! Thank you to everyone who read this and followed through, it really makes me happy. As always my inbox is open to let me know your thoughts! Stay safe! 💖

[fernisasinner]

Hey, hey...

If you don't mind me asking, but how would you rank the Obey Me! Boys (Brothers & Formally Undatables) in terms of personal favourites....?

Also, please feel free to elaborate as to why you placed them in those certain space if you don't mind...

Judging by the profile pic, Asmo's definitely first, right....?

Ooh, thank you for asking! I do love Asmo and he was my favourite when I entered the fandom, hence the profile pic, but a certain tsundere has stolen my heart. I'm not really the best with words but I've tried to elaborate even if it's mostly just me talking about the characters. 😅 Please keep in mind also that I'm still on the first season of lessons so I'm going by what I know so far from those and other fan's perspectives. Here is my ranking for the boys in terms of personal favourites.

1. Mammon - he makes me feel safe, I think he'd give the best hugs, he seems easy to get along with and be best friends, he doesn't get credit for how smart and talented and lovable he actually is. He gets so many nasty things said to him that aren't true, and I'm dying to give this man the love he deserves. He'd also be down for all sorts of dates or outings. Unlike mostly fancy dinners with Lucifer, or mostly cuddling with Belphie and anime marathons with Levi, I think Mammon would be down for anything from clubbing to picnics and cosy days in bed. I feel comfortable with him.

2. Asmo - he tries so hard to make himself appear lovable when the only person who needs convincing is himself. That's such a human thing to do, and makes me think that he'd be that one mom friend who will let you vent for hours and give the best advice while refusing to deal with their own problems. In bed I definitely think he pays attention to his partner(s) and prioritises their pleasure before his own. This man knows how to make himself look good and is definitely a feminist. He would be a great friend that you can talk about anything with while pampering each other.

3. Barbatos - I don't really know what's going on with the butler yet, but I would really like to get to know him better. Although he's polite all the time, he has hints of playfulness and snarkiness but overall seems friendly and soft-spoken so far. He might take a little while to let his guard down and open up his personality to you but once you got there, it would be 100% worth it. He is pretty and strikes me as an interesting character. I love the way he acts and talks and I want to know more.

4. Belphie - I'm not gonna lie, maybe I just want sleepy cuddles. He looks so soft and would absolutely laugh at horror movies while letting you snuggle into his side. Yes, The Thing happened, but I totally understand where he's coming from and I'll forgive him. Despite The Thing, he actually seems like the most sensible and rational brother out of all of them. Also, introducing someone as a mystery attic man will never fail to make me like them.

5. Lucifer - I'm still in the stage where the things he says catch me off guard. Calling me out on blushing with that smug smirk of his? Agreeing to a kiss with no hint of hesitation? I am not used to this man flirting, but when he does I forget that he's maybe kind of a terrible person. He would definitely have a secure grip in a hug, but be delicate when holding hands. Unfortunately, I think he loves Diavolo more than he could ever love me 😔

6. Solomon - he is mysterious, he treats us kindly while loving to cause chaos and mischief, he has been alive for so long he must have a never-ending supply of stories from his personal life experiences. He is feared not for his skills as a sorcerer, but for his impossible lack of skill at making food edible. Why does he dislike water? I just want to listen to this man talk about his life for a few hours. Also, he gets points for dressing nicely.

7. Diavolo - although there seems to be a darker side to him than meets the eye, I love how friendly he is and his easygoing playful personality makes me smile especially when it's pissing Lucifer off. It intrigues me that he's said to be better at chess than Satan but other than that, nobody has commented on his intellect so far. Is it a secret that his mind is as powerful as the rest of him? Despite his status, he is a lonely goofball and I would like to take him on a date and get to know him better.

8. Simeon - I like him but I'm not sure that I trust him. This angel can be sneaky when it suits him and much like Diavolo, I don't want to see him angry. He's pretty and I like his smile though. I think he would be good at gentle words and comforting touches which I need sometimes.

9. Satan - despite being the avatar of Wrath, I respect that Satan puts in an effort to be very calm and I trust him more for his love of cats. I think like Levi with video games and anime, he uses books as a way to distance himself from the rage boiling inside at his reality. It helps him to understand himself better and make sense of the world around him and the feeling inside him. I like his mischievous side and I can relate to him, but I think hanging out would be too quiet for me to relax.

10. Levi - I'm petty and I still hold a grudge for him making me team up against Mammon towards the start of the game. I don't hate him, but I don't really love him as much of some of the others. I must say though, I admire his skills with technology and his amount of knowledge when it comes to the worlds he's invested in. I relate to using fictional worlds as an escape from reality and I think we could be good friends.

11. Beel - I love Beel, and I blame the game for his lack of characterisation. Aside from his heart-to-heart with mc about Lilith, I feel pretty distant from him and like I don't know his personality very well yet. I would like to eat some potatoes with this man and watch demon master chef.

12. Luke - I don't mind Luke at all, I just don't connect with him very much. I think he's nice, but probably my least favourite out of everyone. We would bake cupcakes together and maybe accidentally throw some flour at Lucifer.

[atinybitofau]

[PART 5] S A N ⇲ royal series au

RECAP: san is king of eden, you’re queen of elos under one nation along side 7 other lone kings. you stop by the kingdom of serene with seonghwa’s not-so-happy reaction to the announcement of your coronation. two lovely king brothers decide to pay you a little visit when you do get home not long after.

• series masterlist •

⇩ PART FIVE ⇩ , click me to read part four.

“How was your trip, darling?”

Exhausted and feeling extremely restless from the 9 hour long journey back to Serene, you couldn’t help but glare at the chirpy early bird who smirked as you were escorted out of your carriage.

“Well if it makes you feel any better, we’ll be leaving for your Elos soon. It’s only an hour more.” He adds in spite of your annoyed expression.

“I’m going smear that smirk on your face right off if you don’t get me a glass of water in the next 10 seconds.”

“Already done.”

The thick eyebrowed Serene king whips out from behind his back a tall glass of purified water and you gawk at him in appreciation.

“You know me too well, King Park.”

“Mhm.”

You take his offering hand as he leads you inside his simple castle, a home cozy for a lone bachelor like himself. You glance at him while walking through his empty corridors, seeing the dark bags that had grown under his eyes and the tired look he sent forward despite his normal kingsley aura.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him as you find settling place in his study.

He sighs. “Hongjoong and I have been receiving threats against your kingdom and are handling it accordingly. I don’t want you to worry about a thing, okay? I’m fine.”

“I know enough to handle it myself.” You assured him, hand strongly gripping the rests besides you. “And it seems as though the rest of you as of late is losing too much sleep over the matter. I’m quite capable, Seonghwa.”

He chuckles at that running his frail long fingers through his midnight colored hair. “Enough of that. How was Aurora? I’m sure Mingi treated you well.”

“He is a force to be reckoned with that King Song.” You smile at the thought of Mingi forgetting Seonghwa’s lack of trust in you. “But I’m more surprised at King San’s commodity. Im afraid you’re right. He is kinder than meets the eye.”

“Oh?” He laughs in shocked amusement. “Is that so? When you left Serene you were no more than disapproving of keeping the man company.”

“I can see why you hold him in such a regard. I didn’t realize how out of touch he was with everybody else. As if he’s fragile and a little bit afraid. Like a child? He’s lost and though he looks capable.. I’m not sure his mental state is.”

“San was anything but the ordinary when we were young and still the same today.”

“Still annoying, a pain in my side, yes.” Feeling defeated, you sigh. “But I find him very honest when it comes to being around me.”

You think of his smile. The one time you ever saw it.

“And what’s this I hear of a coronation ball? My men can’t stop running their mouths if whether or not it’ll be open to our Kingdom’s clergy.”

You raise an eyebrow at Seonghwa’s curiosity. “It was Yeosang’s idea to bring forth the date. They think the sooner the celebration, though in midst of my father’s wake, would rile up high contenders for a husband.”

“I don’t. In fact, your coronation was to be in 60 days. No more no less of that. We had an agreement.” He seemed firm on that making you sink back in your chair. “Yeosang has no right to implement his opinions in your life. Neither the others. If it’s not Hongjoong, I forbid it.”

“And how about your’s, King Park?”

“I am your closest thing to a guardian.”

You narrow your sullen eyes. “Then you know I need a husband. You said so yourself.”

“Arranged with a man I see fit to wear a crown beside you.” Heated from the conversation, he clasps at his own arm rests. “Y/n, at your weakest, is not the time to find a suitor at random to take over a Kingdom’s reign. That being Elos— yours. Which is one of our strongest. You need a King.”

“There are many across our nations, Seonghwa!” You stood upon his stance. “What is wrong with choosing a prince of that sort. I see no difference when we all have the same anatomy.”

“I see what’s fit for you. And a prince in a far off land is too fanatical.”

Realizing in his nervous and abrupt defense, you knew now the reason why he didn’t want you searching on your own.

“You’ve already found me a suitor, haven’t you?”

A moment of silence rages upon the both of you and blasts your fury in red— the only color you see at the moment.

“I can’t believe you.” You take it upon yourself due justice to gather your belongings and quickly flee the room, Seonghwa following quite hastily.

“Mingi is a fine suitor and you know it.”

Your eyes widened in horror and you whip around to slap him across his beautiful face. Though his astounding reaction gave you more ill will.

“Mingi is also my friend and a king of a beloved kingdom.” He snaps his eyes, glaring appalled by your sinister action clearly not fit for a queen. “If I had known you wanted me to marry King Song I wouldn’t have agreed to making a trip to Aurora. King San included— how could you punish him for nothing at all?”

He huffs in utter shock. “You’re defending him?”

“I’m defending myself.”

“Must I remind you, his innocence regarding your father’s passing is still in question. Don’t forget that.”

“For the topic at hand, that matter doesn’t seem too important to me right now.” You hiss back, mind blurred over anger and disgust.

“Y/n, you need to marry a man who will benefit your kingdom and serve you the right of a loving husband. Where does Mingi lack?”

“In my loving judgement.” You snap. “I love him as a friend and nothing more and so with the rest of you. I will find a husband I seek worthy and I want you to be at my side to support me on that. Do I make myself clear, King Park or do I need to elaborate once more?”

His throat bobs and he swallows down the anger with a twitching glare. You relieve a heavy breath, jaw clenched and so with your fists.

“If Mingi desires my hand in marriage, he will earn it. Just like anybody else would.” You let down your furious tension and look to him pleadingly. “Please forgive me, Seonghwa but I want you to be by my side for it all. Despite your monarchic views.”

“He knows nothing.” He presses his lips firm and reaches for your hands. “Don’t meddle him about wanting to marry you. He’s only confided his feelings with me. There was no arrangement otherwise, alright?”

“I know you care about me. All of you. But let me live my own life as well.”

He lovingly sighs leaning down to gently kiss you on the cheek, his lips hovering over your ear.

“I can only do of what I’m capable.”

“Queen y/n~ your dates have arrived for the evening.”

You turn around in midst of being measured for a coronation gown, two familiar looking brothers walk into your bedroom. They beamed with loving eyes before charging at you like red eyed bulls.

“YUNHO! WOOYOUNG! PUT ME DOWN!”

These two will be the death of you.

When you came face to face with the different faces of the Jung’s, you panned in abstinent glee. Yunho flicks at your hair, Wooyoung holding his thumbs and index’s up in a form a square with you inside of it.

You roll your eyes and cocked a hand at your hip. “What are the both of you doing here?”

“Well since you were so adamant about pushing the date for your coronation ball, Seonghwa requested us to ready you ourselves. That includes dress picking.”

You scoff in annoyed displeasure. “An ‘I miss you’ would’ve sufficed.”

“Personally, I miss you. My brother doesn’t speak for me.” Wooyoung came from behind you in the mirror and held his hands to your bare shoulders. “But you really don’t have to appease to the things Yeosang suggests.”

You look at yourself in the mirror before glancing at the two kings behind you.

“The one thing I could do for my father is serve his place. And letting a husband of mine enforce new ideals to my kingdom scares me.” You turn around to face the more practical one of the two. “Maybe Seonghwa was right. Maybe I will make a weak ruler. But I sure as hell am gonna try to make my kingdom trust me enough to get better at it.”

“Are you entirely sure being crowned in front of the other kingdoms’ clergy would serve a better outcome for you?” Yunho was concerned. Sat up feeling uncertain for your well being. “Your safety could be compromised, y/n.”

“My safety’s been compromised as soon as my father died.” Your eyes are icy when glanced in between the duo.

Yunho, the idealist of the two only smiles in attempt to assure you.

“Now are you guys really here for my opinion or are you here because Seonghwa sent you?”

Wooyoung chuckles at that. “Always an observant, Queen y/n.”

“Seonghwa sent us to verify your invitations.”

“For heavens sake–“

“Y/n it’s our duty to ensure your safety, ours and your kingdom’s as well, is it not?”

You exasperatedly huff shaking your trembling hands in fury. “Yes but that doesn’t mean meddling in my affairs. This is my Kingdom and I will do what I please.”

The boys press their lips together almost in obedience. You understand they mean well and know they have no intentions of hurting your feelings but it’s still something you didn’t want. You didn’t like that your life was being chosen for you, dictated for you. And you admit, running a Kingdom alone was difficult but you knew you also didn’t need their help when finding a husband for it. This coronation somehow becoming more of a crowning rather a search for your King.

“Boys, I know you love me to death and you’d sacrifice even your lives to protect me but know that I am well fit to run my own life if not the Kingdom’s, yes?” You stand across them putting your arms over your chest. “If Seonghwa pleases, I’ll talk to any kingsman he throws at me. But if I do fail at choosing a right suitor then I promise I’ll take the hand of the man you all please for me. For the sake of the kingdom.”

“We’re only concerned for you, y/n.”

“Then you can concerned over choosing my dress for the occasion.” You run your hands over your silk robe. “That’s something I can’t seem to decide on my own.”

Wooyoung who was momentarily uninterested by the subject at hand, shoots up from his seat with puppy dog eyes. “Really? Really?”

“Yes, Wooyoung. Really.”

“Good. Finally something you’re willing to let us choose.”

p.s rough edit

@atinybitofau

a/n: we seeing some major san x reader content soon. I’m excited lmao

[tinydragonstories]

Heat vs Steele Pt 5

Masterpost

“My dearest, how much longer must we ride? I feel as though it has been hours!”

“Prince Roman, it’s been five minutes. Surely you can wait another twenty five?” Logan sighs through his nose and pinches the bridge, closing his eyes to the blurry world he lived in.

The aforementioned prince groans and presses his hand to his forehead dramatically,” how can you expect me to wait any longer? How cruel you must be to expect such from me!”

“I assure you, it’s possible.” He lightly taps his mare’s sides with his heels and she picks up the pace a bit. He hears the others do the same and Roman rides up beside him,” perhaps you could make this ride a little more bearable, my dear?”

“And how would you expect me to do so?”

Logan almost instantly regrets it as that familiar itch rides down his thigh.

“Tell me of yourself! You’ve never spoken of your childhood or passions, I wish to know my husband the best I can before I marry him!”

“We are not and will not be engaged. Please dismiss the thought from your mind.” He absentmindedly scratches at the cloth covering his itchy skin and he can sense Virgil’s eyes bore into his head.

“Then at least allow me to know of your passions and interests!” And Logan couldn’t resist the earnest in those hazel orbs.

“Very well, as you should remember from yesterday, I am very much interested in the sky and how it operates. I wonder where the stars go during the day, if they are simply covered by the sun’s brilliance or if they move to the world’s other half. Why does the moon change during the month? Are females somehow connected to it and that’s why they suffer? If that’s so, then are males connected to the sun or something else? It’s curious, and so am I.”

Roman’s silent, which Logan had taken to assume he was satisfied with the response and continues riding silently, until he asks another question.

“What have you discovered?”

The corners of his mouth twitch -and if that didn’t make Roman’s heart flutter, that was his business- and Logan speaks again,” I believe there are four night skies that we see during the year. One for the cold season, warm season, and the two in between. Groups and patterns previously discovered such as Orion will not appear until their respective seasons and I have measured each sky’s duration as approximately three months apiece with a few days shifting between. Phenomenons such as blood moons and the moon covering the sun are much more difficult to track, but I believe they also have a pattern.”

He can hear Virgil whispering quietly to Patton behind them and by the giggle that replied, he supposed they were discussing something of minor amusement. Virgil grins,” why don’t you tell him about the other projects you’ve been working on?”

“Sir Virgil, I believe there he possesses no interest in my projects. They are merely for self satisfaction.”

“Tell me anyway, my dear, I’ll always lend an ear to you.”

Logan opens his mouth to reply but closes it again,” what about you? You haven’t mentioned anything you’re interested in.”

Roman’s eye twinkles,” we can talk about me tonight after supper. Today is for you, my darling.”

“Forgive my disbelief, but someone as proud as yourself should wish to speak highly of himself.”

Roman laughs out loud and reaches to take Logan’s hand,” I only wish to learn about you, my love. I will share about myself tonight, on my word as crown prince.”

Logan nods,” very well. If you must know, I am interested in the sciences, although I am sure you could see that by now. Astrology is my main subject, however I also dabble in alchemy and politics. Though, the latter is more of a difficult practice than a subject.”

“I care to disagree, my dear, politics are quite simple once you understand how to persuade others to your side.”

“Oh? So you’ve had practice?”

“Well, not with others of my level. I’ve only had to ever use it in meetings over my people’s care.” Roman holds himself back from holding onto Logan’s hand when the silver-clad prince takes his hand back to guide his horse around a rock in the middle of the path.

The rest of the ride is silent with the two princes in front and the gossiping guard and servant behind them. Logan scratches at his thigh, feeling the hardened scales forming under his skin, as Roman squeals in excitement. He lifts his eyes to look up at the ruined castle before them and clicks his tongue to urge his horse forward into the yard.

They all dismount and tie their horses to a fallen tree before Roman speedwalks to the gates. Logan follows at a much calmer pace and glances at the only steady tower left from the original building before Virgil bumps into his shoulder, bringing him back to see Roman looking up at the ruined castle.

“Generations were raised in this castle, including you, right Logan?”

He stiffened uncomfortably but nods,” that is correct. I was raised here until I turned four and the current castle was completed.”

“So you don’t remember it in its prime…” Logan looks up at Roman’s devastated expression and feels his chest squeeze.

“Perhaps, I could metaphorically paint an image for you? I remember a little of what it was like before we moved,” at an eager nod from Roman, Logan continued,” well, the area we are currently standing in was the garden. Flowers bloomed along the castle walls and guards were positioned at either side of the gate, four in total. If we walk through, this area was the courtyard and my mother had gardens in each corner. The stables were over to your right -you can still see the well we drew water from to its left- and over to your left was the entrance to the sparring arena. Straight ahead are the main doors, the knockers were taken along when we moved.”

The group explores around with Virgil keeping the foreigners away from more dangerous areas. Logan gently sets a hand on Roman’s shoulder to stop him from walking in,” it’s dangerous inside. The walls are unsteady from lack of care and pieces have already fallen. The last remaining structure that’s safe to enter is the southern tower behind us. The foundation was set on rock for the tower so as the rest of the castle is crumbling, the tower will remain the last line of defense. It was deemed the most appropriate location for a last stand should it ever come to it and so was given the sturdiest foundation as well as the strongest defense and a storage unit for everything that would be needed to survive for months. Even now, it’s stocked with a garden and enough food for the family to survive for three months on it.”

“That’s incredible, Logan, but isn’t it dangerous to reveal that information to me? What if I decide to attack your country and force your hand in marriage?”

“Roman, it’s not dangerous at all. You wouldn’t stand a chance if you attacked us.” Logan smirks in amusement and steers Roman back towards the gate,” besides, you’re too softhearted to do that. One look at your relationship with Patton tells me that.”

Both of the aforementioned boys flush red and Logan is pleased to see Roman is silent for a moment,” do you believe that Patton and I are engaged romantically?”

Logan swings up onto his horse and looks down at Roman,” admittedly, it has crossed my mind. However, I do not believe it is romantic, more so a sibling relationship. You are the older brother looking out for younger Patton. Come, I will not wait long.”

Roman blinks and helps Patton before getting up onto his own, the small group traveling back down the overgrown trail. Logan leading everyone, Roman just behind him, Patton following, and Virgil in the back, keeping an eye on everyone. The birds chirp pleasantly around them, sunlight dappling through Logan’s hair and causing Roman’s heart to flip every time he sees the dark chestnut shining against the viridian forest around them.

“If you were an animal, what would you be?” Roman can see that Logan’s shoulders tense up at the sudden question before relaxing and he grins. Seems Specs can be startled!

“A human.”

“Aw, c’mon, mi amour, please?”

“I suppose you won’t quit until you get an answer and I certainly do not wish to repeat this morning’s venture. Very well, I believe I would be a raven.”

“A raven! Do elaborate, my dear.”

Logan sighs and rolls his eyes,” the bird is known in my land as one of the most intelligent of the wild animals. They have been heard repeating common phrases such as ‘how are you’ and greetings at appropriate times in conversation. Additionally, if one of their favored humans drop something important, the bird has been seen returning it. They mimic noises to draw attention to a dead carcass so that the predator will open it for them as well as have a mutually beneficial relationship with wolves.” Logan’s eyes flicker back to Virgil who was still watching over them with a sharp eye.

“I see. That’s very observant of you, mi estrella.”

“Did you just call me ‘your star’?”

“…perhaps.”

Logan’s other thigh starts itching.

[rufousnmacska]

Secrets and Confessions - Part 6

A Crescent City Ruhn-Hypaxia story

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

*****

Heavy beats of music and peals of laughter escaped from the open windows of the townhouse, carried down the sidewalk on the warm night breeze. When she reached the door and raised her hand to knock, Hypaxia hesitated. Days ago, Bryce had given her the address, and the encouragement to come here. But now ... now she wasn’t sure if she could do this. As much as she wanted to see Ruhn, wanted to repair this break between them, she still had no idea how she was going to tell him about the prophecy.

Jesiba hadn’t cared if she told Ruhn everything, yet the witch had forbade her from telling Bryce. Hypaxia couldn’t see a scenario where Ruhn kept this from his sister.

Then again, the more she’d considered, the more she thought he would. He’d do anything to protect Bryce. And if that meant offering himself up as a sacrifice to ensure a safe future for her, for them all … Well. That was definitely his style.

A smile crossed her face. He tried so hard to make himself look imposing and uncaring, hoping no one would see the goodness concealed behind that dark and dangerous first impression. Hoping no one would hear the self-deprecation hidden beneath his snarky humor. Doing whatever it took to distance himself from his father.

Fuck it, she thought. Not one to swear often, she’d heard enough from Ruhn and taken up the habit when the moment called for it. And right now was a fuck it moment.

It took several knocks for the music to be turned down and for someone to come and open the door. The fae who’d mastered the vidscreen feeds at the summit stood in front of her. He stared for a second, clearly trying to place her face. His eyes widened comically when he did.

“Oh shit,” he muttered, half bowing, half beckoning her to come inside.

She bit back a laugh. “You don’t have to do that. Really.”

“You’re the witch queen,” he said, as if that was that. No more discussion. But then he added, “Uh, Ruhn’s upstairs. Was he expecting you?”

Hypaxia had been hurt to learn Bryce knew nothing of her relationship with Ruhn. It seemed his sister had been right in her assessment that it had more to do with them being siblings than anything else. His friends knew. And even though the three were practically joined at the hip, making it almost impossible for them not to know, the thought centered her, giving her a boost of confidence.

“No,” she admitted, glancing behind him into the living room. Several sets of eyes looked back, some drugged, some clear, none with any recognition of who she was. Except for the other fae male that made up the trio. He was on his phone, staring at her, a slow, crooked grin taking shape on his face. He was more conventionally handsome than the techie, but less so than Ruhn.

It was funny how quickly she’d taken to using Ruhn as some sort of baseline. The balanced lines of his face, the sound of his laugh, the polite way he always held the door for her. The fire in his blue eyes and passion in his voice when he spoke about a case he was working on for the Aux.

By Cthona, it had all snuck up on her. He had snuck up on her, in so many ways.

She pointed to the staircase and started towards it, asking the tech guy, “Which is his room?” But before she reached the first step, Ruhn appeared at the top, sliding into the banister from a full run.

It had been so long – too long – since they’d last been face to face. The sight of him, in loose hanging pants and a t-shirt that looked as if it had just been thrown on, his hair pulled back, his eyes fixed on her … Hypaxia froze. Froze and waited for his reaction. Examining his eyes, she found none of the hurt that had clouded them before.

Taking the steps a few at a time, he descended, took her hand and silently led her back up, ignoring his friends the entire time. She squeezed his hand, and hope sparked to life when she felt his grip tighten in return.

*****

Ruhn had been staring at his phone for half an hour, his finger hovering over her name, growing more and more pissed off that he was taking Ketos’s advice. He wanted to call Hypaxia. He just didn’t want it to be at the behest of the mer. Though, he had to admit that Tharion was a decent male, coming here and giving Ruhn the kick in the ass he needed… Even if he’d basically threatened to go after Pax if Ruhn didn’t. Then again, he couldn’t be sure that Tharion hadn’t implied him in the threat, and not Pax.

“Fuck it,” he mumbled, realizing he was stalling. But just as he was about to make the call, his phone buzzed.

Flynn’s smirk practically poured out of the earpiece. “Your witch queen just showed up.”

Ruhn was out the door and sprinting down the hallway before another word was said. He’d managed to grab a shirt – was it clean? He didn’t fucking know – and got it on just as he reached the top of the stairs, almost killing himself trying to stop.

Hypaxia had a foot on the lowest step but didn’t move when she saw him.

The sight of her was like opening your eyes to color after seeing nothing but gray for years. Like the first gasp of air after being pulled from drowning. Like … like … He couldn’t think of another dumb metaphor. She was happiness. Serenity. She was all he wanted.

And he’d spent the last few weeks being an asshole. Gods he hoped she could forgive him.

Skipping down the stairs, he reached for her hand and brought her back up. The strength with which she held on to him sent a jolt through his chest, as if he’d been struck by lightning. The starlight inside started to bubble to life but he put a lid on it. It was at that moment that he realized his magic had been dormant. The last time he’d called on it had been with her. Since he’d left her in that park, he hadn’t summoned it, hadn’t felt it. And now, in her presence, by her touch, it was aching to burst out of him.

*****

When they were alone in his room, Ruhn let go. Immediately, the lack of his touch, brief though it had been, left her cold. He paced around, not saying anything, not looking at her. The spark of hope from seconds ago flickered, threatening to go out.

As she watched him walk in circles, she took note of the space. Large enough for a huge bed, a couple of sofas arranged around a vidscreen and elaborate music system, a work table half filled with gadgets and weapons in the process of being fixed or cleaned, a desk holding files and papers, a wall of stuffed bookshelves.

Bryce’s description of the place as a pig sty came back, and without thinking, she said, “You cleaned.”

Ruhn stopped and spun around, staring at her suspiciously, trying to figure out how she could know he’d done anything since she’d never stepped foot inside his house before.

“Uhh,” she muttered, “I can smell the cleaner.” She sniffed the air, finding nothing but his scent there. The scent she’d missed when it had faded from her sheets and apartment.

His eyebrow quirked upwards as he smiled at her, having figured out what had happened. “Bryce spoke to you.”

Hypaxia nodded, trying not to let herself be carried away by his smile. More than anything, she’d missed that. Making him laugh with a silly joke, making him smirk with desire, making him grin from the sound of her singing.

“Listen, Pax.” He ran his hand through his hair, only to get it caught up in the tie holding it back. With a harsh curse, he yanked it out, letting his black hair fall like a silk sheet.

Ogling him like a lovesick witchling, she was glad his eyes were downcast. At least until she could shake herself back to reality. And back to what she needed to do.

“Wait. I need to explain something first,” she said, regaining his full attention. His bright blue gaze was going to be distracting. After a deep breath, she went on. “Yes, I am a member of the rebellion. And yes, I wanted to recruit you. I think you understand why I couldn’t tell you about it. I may be a queen, but I’m young and newly crowned. My opinions aren’t given much weight among the leaders.”

Ruhn made a quiet huff of disapproval and crossed his arms. Hypaxia eased towards him, moving slowly as if he might disappear if she got too close.

“I did not pretend or exaggerate my feelings for you. This wasn’t a ploy to get you to help. In fact, I should never have become involved with you at all. I knew it could complicate things. But … you saw me. The real me. Before I was officially recognized as queen. Before the full weight of this new life started to pull me under. The way you looked at me made me feel ... real. Alive in a way that if I messed up or said the wrong thing, it would all be okay. I love you.”

Carefully, she brushed her fingertips across the back of his hand. At his intake of breath, at the pebbling of his skin, her hope from earlier returned. Perhaps he could see through the fog of self-doubt and insecurity that his father had poisoned him with. A poison that could not be removed by her magic. She could not fix him, and he was no cure for her troubles. The doubt that she’d never be the queen her mother was. The fear of leading her people in the war to come. These plagued her as much as Ruhn’s demons afflicted him.

Either he’d believe her or not. Believe in himself, or not. Fight his demons, or not.

She loved him. And she knew with certainty that though they could not cure each other, they could help each other. He’d already done that by being a safe haven from her daily responsibilities. A source of laughter and love, offering an ear to listen and a font of supportive words. He was what she needed. She wanted to be that for him.

Hypaxia realized that Ruhn was staring deep into her eyes, as if he knew what she’d been thinking. The smile that tugged at his lips at that moment reminded her of his magical abilities. Flames licked at her cheeks as she blushed, her eyes closing in mortification.

Shit.

“You heard all that?” She opened her eyes to find him grinning. He nodded. Scrunching her eyes up again, she said, “Please, say something.”

“Something.”

“Oh my god,” she said, shaking her head in annoyance and trying hard not to laugh. She failed.

But before she could say or do anything else, his hands were cradling her face and he was kissing her. She pressed herself into his body, relishing the feel of him, his warmth and solidity. One of his hands dropped to her lower back, eliciting a moan from both of them. The twin sounds were like fuel poured onto a fire, and with a single swift motion, Ruhn lifted her up. With her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, they deepened their kiss.

She was utterly lost in him. That scent of warm spices that called to her. The quick nip of his teeth on her lower lip that had her sighing his name. The way he groaned in reply, loving even the faintest sound of her voice. The pressure of his strong hands, holding her hips firmly against him.

And of course, his starlight.

Hypaxia opened her eyes as they kissed, intoxicated by the glow of his magic.

And just as he was about to lay her down on his bed, that starlight broke through the haze of desire, reminding her of the other reason why she was here.

*****

Ruhn had never experienced a natural high like this. No amount of alcohol, mirthroot, or any other drug could compare to it. To her.

Every sense was on overload and he was damn close to blowing a fuse. How had he lasted so long without her? How had he been so fucking stupid to stay away? Hypaxia had no reason to forgive him, and yet she had. She had no reason to be with him. And yet, here she was.

Somehow, she loved him.

Somehow. The disbelief threatened to undo him as much as the sensation of kissing her. He stood on a precipice that overlooked two possible outcomes. A leap off one side meant descending into hate and misery, an all too familiar landscape where his father would always be in control. A leap off the other meant love. Love and trust. In himself and Hypaxia.

Either he’d believe her or not. Believe in himself, or not.

She hadn’t intended for him to hear that. And he hadn’t lurked inside her mind to listen. It was as if she’d been yelling it into his brain. As if her magic sang to him. A song almost as sweet as her true voice.

“Gods, Pax,” he groaned into her neck as he laid her back onto his bed. “I’ve missed you.” He propped himself above her, watching her stare in awe as his light slowly faded. “I am so sorry for everything I said. For letting all my shit get in the way. I was an idiot and I’m sorry.”

“We all have shit that gets in the way of things,” she said, tucking his hair behind an ear.

“Even when you swear it’s like a symphony,” he said, getting her to laugh. And promptly melting at the sound.

“I meant what I said.” Red bloomed on her cheeks. “Or, didn’t say. We both have demons. I want to help you with yours.”

“And I’ll help you too. I’m sorry for being such an ass and overreacting.”

“Well, I need to apologize too.”

“No, you don’t,” he said.

She scooted out from under him to sit in the middle of the bed. “I handled it poorly. For that, I’m sorry.”

In the space of a few seconds, she’d grown serious, and Ruhn suddenly became worried. Had the rebel leaders punished her for being with him? Or for him finding out about them? Tharion hadn’t mentioned anything was wrong the night before when he’d stopped by.

“What is it?” he asked, sliding over to sit next to her. She crossed her legs and looked around the room, gathering her thoughts. “Does this have something to do with the prophecy?”

“What?” She practically jumped out of her skin.

He shrugged, trying to look unconcerned. In reality, he was starting to freak the fuck out.

“When I overheard you that night. With Tharion. He said something about a prophecy.”

Hypaxia’s throat bobbed and it seemed like she had to force herself to look him in the eyes.

“That bad, huh?” he said, trying for lightness. When she didn’t reply, he added, “It’s okay if you can’t tell me. I don’t want to get you in trouble for sharing secret intel or anything.”

For a moment, she looked like she might take the out he was offering. Might claim that it was top secret and that until he joined the rebels and was allowed to know, he’d have to stay in the dark. Ruhn had no idea what this prophecy might entail, but he had enough experience with them to know they were bullshit and ruined lives, even if they never came true. He was about to say as much when she finally spoke.

“It involves the endgame of this rebellion,” Pax said, taking one of his hands in hers. “You know about Theia and her daughters.” He nodded, trying not to get distracted by the warmth of her skin on his. “About how Pelias used the starsword to close the rift and seal off the demons from Hel to end the war?”

“I know the basics. Just what’s been passed down in bedtime stories. The books I’ve read don’t go into detail.”

“The legend is widespread, but it’s not accurate. The true history is murky. Even so, many prophecies sprang from that story, and that time. Some told by the fae, some by the witches, even the shifters, and sprites. The angels may even have some. But there’s one prophecy in particular that is shared by your kind and mine. We refer to it as the blade and the sword.”

Ruhn laughed, relief filling him. “Yeah. I’ve heard that one. Except it’s a knife and blade.” He waved off the different words, then, sitting up straight like a school boy, he recited, “When knife and blade are reunited, so shall our people be.”

Hypaxia didn’t smile. “Terminology aside, the fae version is only about your people. Mine applies to all the people of Midgard. All except the asteri.”

Ruhn thought about that for a moment. It was no wonder the rebels would fixate on that prophecy if they saw it as a means for liberation from the asteri. Glancing to where the starsword hung on the wall, he asked, “How long-”

“I’ve known about it for all my life,” she interrupted, guessing his question. “It was part of my schooling. But it was only yesterday that I was told specifics. About the greater implications.”

She was squeezing the hel out of his hand, and when he looked at it, she dropped it like it had burned her skin. He kept staring, trying to make sense of the fragmented thoughts running through his head. He believed her that she wasn’t using him to fulfill a prophecy. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t gambling away the hopes of the rebels on him.

The Chosen One. Chosen for nothing but the end of the Valbaran royal bloodline.

It was like the ocean. This darkness in his head. Endless and eternal. The doubts and loathing might go away for a short time. But like waves, they always came back. Sometimes big as swells during a storm.

“I’m not really sure what to tell you. If you think because I have that sword that I’m some kind of savior for the rebellion ... I may have pulled it out of the stone, but it’s powerless without the knife. And more importantly, it calls to my sister.” He looked up to meet her gaze. “Not me.”

He’d never said it out loud before. That the starsword, the fabled weapon of the Chosen One, didn’t really belong to him. He’d seen how it reacted to Bryce, the way it vibrated, the starlight glinting on its surface, inching towards her, wanting to be in her hand, not his. He’d seen how she tried to ignore it. At the time, he had no fucking idea that she possessed true starlight magic, let alone how much. But once she’d revealed it by going supernova, it had all made sense.

He stood and began to pace again. “I can’t do fuck all for your rebellion. But here’s something you can add to your list of prophecies,” he said, a bitterness in his voice that rarely played anywhere outside of his own head. “The Oracle told me that I’d be the end of the royal line. That’s what I’ve been chosen for. Not to be a good king. Not to save the fae. I’ve tried finding a silver lining. Some meaning that doesn’t involve death. But ending my father’s reign can’t be done peacefully. My only destiny is destruction.”

Hypaxia said nothing, just watched him with big brown eyes that seemed to see right through him. This was the part where she’d make some excuse. Realize how beneath her he really was. Realize no royal line would want to be tainted by his presence.

*****

She felt him fading. Falling into some dark place where all his fears resided. Closing the space between them she lifted his head so he was forced to look at her. She concentrated on how much she loved him, hoping his magic would hear and drive away the defeat in his eyes.

Caressing his cheek, she said, “I know about the starsword.” At his surprise, she hurried to explain. “Jesiba told me. Where she gets her information, I have no idea.” More somber, she went on. “As for the Oracle, I might have an explanation for that.”

Hypaxia continued, telling him about the intricacies of the blade and sword prophecy. That the two things must be joined in order to seal the rift. Pelias had wielded the starsword and possessed starlight magic, just as the stories told. But the blade that was not a blade, that had been Helena’s sister, an unnamed daughter of Theia who possessed barely a trickle of starlight. Just enough, that when combined with Pelias’s gift, it would ensure success. He killed her with the sword, allowing the power to transfer to him and ensure the door into Hel would never be opened.

She explained that with the horn a physical part of her, and as the true wielder of the starsword, Bryce would need to pull double duty if the prophecy were to come true. His sister would create a new rift through which the asteri would be banished. Then, she would need to close it.

At some point in her telling, Ruhn had turned away to sit on the sofa, staring into the middle distance at nothing. Each piece of knowledge seeming to hit him like a punch to the gut. “She wields the sword,” he said in a monotone. “And I am the knife.”

“Blade.” Hypaxia corrected, without thinking.

He faced her, his eyes shining. “You mean sacrifice,” he said. “By Bryce’s hand.”

Tears slipped free from her own eyes and ran down her cheeks. “Yes.” Furiously wiping her face, Hypaxia forced lightness into her voice and said, “But … but I don’t want you to worry. Jesiba wants me to find a loophole. She’s given me full access to her libraries, contacts, anything and everything. And I already have some ideas. Old magic that isn’t well known outside of the witches. And new technologies that might help.”

She began naming some of the possibilities, but he only looked at her, appearing to glaze over more and more with every word. Softly, she asked, “Ruhn? Are you okay?”

*****

Well fuck, he thought, sitting down hard on a couch as his legs finally gave out from under him.

No wonder he was a drama queen. Something in his subconscious must have been preparing him for the day he’d have to … what was it? Let his little sister kill him and steal his power to send a bunch of megalomaniacs into another dimension.

As Hypaxia rattled off potential solutions, Ruhn just stared at her, getting swept away by the notes and chords of her voice.

Gods, he loved her. Loved that she was already fighting to get him out of this. Loved that she was brilliant and brave and beautiful.

“Ruhn?” she asked, the change in tone drawing his attention. “Are you okay?”

“Does Bryce know anything about this?” Jesiba Roga was many things, her cruelty well known. But he knew in his gut that she cared for his sister. Even if she never showed it.

Pax shook her head, watching him carefully. “She and Hunt are under too much surveillance. Even so, Jesiba told me not to tell her. That order doesn’t extend to you. So if you want-”

“No!” he almost shouted. Then, more quietly, “No. She’s not to know. Not until it’s necessary.”

Eyes glossy, she tried to blink back the moisture that was building. “It won’t be. Not if I have any say about it.”

Ruhn leaned in and kissed her. Hard at first, turning more gentle as they drew it out and he brushed away the new tears that began to fall. “I love you. More than anything in this world. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. If that means dying to give Bryce my starlight, I’ll do it.”

As if she’d been waiting for him to say that, she opened her mouth to argue but he stopped her with another kiss.

“If there is a loophole, we’ll find it. You’re the smartest person I know. And I’m not half bad either.” Finally, she smiled. “If we combine our forces-”

“And Jesiba’s,” she added.

“And Jesiba’s, we’ll find a way around it.”

“How can you be so sure? How can you be so … happy?”

He kissed her again, pulling away to rest his forehead on hers. “Because you love me. And I love you. And right now, that’s all that matters.”

*****

The next morning, Hypaxia woke curled up along Ruhn’s side. She wasn’t sure if he was awake until he started playing with her hair.

“Mmmm, I like your bed,” she said, stretching her arms and legs as she rolled onto her back.

“I like any bed you’re in, majesty” he replied, rolling too so he came to rest against her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her on top of him, tickling her until she was breathless with laughter.

When she could breathe again, she said, “There’s a prophecy I didn’t tell you about last night.”

Ruhn closed his eyes, gently running his fingers up and down her back. “No. No more prophecies. No more oracles. No more fate and destiny and all of that other shit.”

“It was more of a vision actually,” she said, laughing as he sighed in exaggerated surrender. Pushing herself up on an elbow to stare into his jewel like eyes, she said, “Shortly before she died, my mother had a vision that involved me. It was after she was gone, after the coming war. And it’s got me thinking. She said I would not be alone. She saw me with someone.”

“Who?”

She kissed the tip of his nose. “One who is chosen.”

Ruhn huffed a quiet laugh. Pulling her back down and returning to stroking her back, he said, “If you’re trying to get me to accept that ridiculous title by saying I’ve been chosen by the Queen of the Valbaran Witches…” He paused for effect and then sighed again. “That just might work.”

Resting her cheek on his warm, bare chest, right over his heart, Hypaxia began to hum. It was an ancient song that Ruhn loved, telling a tale of young love that is lost and then rekindled. Her voice was soft at first, building up slowly until the humming turned to singing. She felt more than heard his deep moan of appreciation. And as his delicate fingers tapped out the familiar rhythm on her back, she smiled.

.

The end.

*****

Thanks for reading! And sorry for the quickish ending. I’ve got a lot going on right now and couldn’t devote the time to extending this into a full blown, super long fic.I may pick this story up again in the future though, and I have other ruhnpax headcanons I’ll eventually post.

tagging - @itach-i (thanks for all the beta reading!), @queen-of-glass @julemmaes

Fanfic masterlist

[fuwafuwamedb]

Kishi Nami Services Pt 8 (Enkidu, Gilgamesh, Ishtar)

Previously: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

___

She entered the building before the time that they had agreed. He could see the dress, all lace and floral, flaring at the hips and tied carefully with a ribbon at the waist.

For Shinji?

The mop bucket of a boy was far too eager to grasp her hand and yank her the final bit of distance to the host’s podium near the door. There was too much in that look, far too many plans in the kid’s mind. He must have looked into her as well.

“Hello Moon Cell Heir,” he heard from Enkidu’s position in the restaurant.

“Matou… Why don’t we enjoy the evening together. I run my Kishi Nami services. That’s all.”

Good girl.

Skirt the subject, send him away.

She called for a table, the fool to the very end. Her hand motioned him deeper into the restaurant as he had feared she would do.

Damn.

There was time to scare one of them out and go to Hakuno. If Hakuno ran out, it would be more fortuitous. He could bring her home and fix this foolishness immediately. He could have her curled up in bed and pleading forgiveness for this whole mess. If Shinji ran first, well- he could skip to dessert with Hakuno and then take her home. She held more interest in desserts anyway. It wouldn’t be a loss.

“Gil,” Enkidu’s voice whispered.

“What is it?”

“He slipped something into Hakuno’s drink.”

Gilgamesh moved to shift his attention deeper into the restaurant, but there was no sign of the two anymore.

“She’s not drinking yet, but-“

“Tell the fool we hired to get the job done. Let’s be done with this. I have plans in place.”

His view shifted back to the door.

Ishtar had arrived.

No longer would he be able to simply coast in to get Hakuno and leave. If she came out, she would pass Ishtar and then find that he hadn’t arrived to meet her. As much as he disliked the prospect, if she found that he was avoiding the dates she had made for him, she would compare him to fools like Matou.

“Damn it.”

“What is it? I’m watching Hakuno’s table.”

Gilgamesh adjusted his suit, grimacing. “That useless fool is here. It looks like she coordinated her outfit with Hakuno as well.”

“What do you want to do about that?”

He glanced deeper into his car, towards the back seats.

There were a few garment bags.

“Did you pick up my dry cleaning?”

“Ah… I like the lady at the shop. She does this really cute wink when she thinks she’s being clever and I think she’s trying to figure out whether I’m a boy or a girl… as well as if I’m single.”

That was fine.

There was one shirt in particular that he’d left in his dry cleaning that he knew would suit the occasion. Rather than the blue shirt he had on, he swapped to the red one, the black jacket was swapped for white. He paused as he caught sight of a lacy pocket square.

“Enkidu, who’s pocket square?”

“Gil, you ass. I got that for Siduri to wipe her fake tears with during meetings with upset companies.”

“A pocket square?”

“Sometimes she gets those bored tears in her eyes and I thought it would be funny. She could tuck it into her jacket’s breast pocket.”

Gil lifted his head up, eyeing the restaurant as he quickly worked to fold the thing up and shove it into his jacket. “Enkidu, when’s the last time you saw a woman with a breast pocket? It’s impractical. The woman would have to be flat chested to manage it.”

“…We should bring breast pockets to women’s fashion.”

“We’ll discuss it later,” Gil agreed, climbing out of the car and looking both ways quickly before he hurried up to the restaurant door.

At least he’d opted for them both to be wearing Bluetooth. The small earpiece was barely out of sync with his attire, only looking odd because this was a place to eat and socialize.

“Ah,” the waiter recognized him immediately. “Sir, your table is-“

Gilgamesh pulled a hundred from his pocket. “Take me to the table and then find the cheapest, poorest swill in your restaurant and dilute it with vinegar. Fill our glasses with that.”

“…Sir, this is an honest restaurant.”

Gil pulled out two more bills.

“And we cater to all of our client’s needs. This way please.”

“Just a moment.”

Gilgamesh held the man back, opening his wallet a bit further and pulling out another couple bills.

“Tell the chef and the team working this evening that, in any way they can think of, if they can ruin the mood and this woman’s hope for any future communications between her and myself while at the same time continuing to look like a perfect professional restaurant, I will pay handsomely.”

A couple hosts nearby perked up, moving to his side.

“We have a violinist here tonight.”

“Perfect.”

“I do believe the fondue option in the appetizers can get a bit hot.”

“What a blessing to know you know how to shut such a useless mouth as hers up.”

The group rushed back, throwing open the doors and murmuring to the others. Gilgamesh smiled as he followed his host towards the table of absolute waste.

“Cheap,” Enkidu cooed in his ear. “So cheap, Gil.”

“I’ve been roped into three dates now with this woman.”

“I didn’t say it was wrong,” Enkidu argued, “I’m just saying this tactic is so cheap. It’s also luring away the hosts that I need on my end. You’re being far too extra today.”

He was being no such thing.

Ishtar stared up at him, frowning at the lack of blue in his attire.

“Ishtar.”

“Gilgamesh, what a pleasant surprise! Here I thought that my blind date would be with someone that I didn’t know at all. This must be fate.”

“The wine,” Gilgamesh called for.

“I already called for wine,” she told him.

“Yes, and I’m sure your choice was useless. Taste is not acquired, as one would be led to believe. Either you are capable of appreciating something from the start or you simply are not meant to be in the presence of something refined.”

The chairs were too comfortable, but he wouldn’t complain now. The restaurant was full on this side, which meant that they would be moved to Hakuno’s side if things went south.

He would spare her the sight of the failure here.

“Hakuno’s drinking her spiked drink,” Enkidu hissed

Damn.

How long would they have at this rate? He would need to take Hakuno directly home before something happened.

Straight face. Finish this.

“Appetizers, on the house,” the host nearby told them.

The first one returned, setting the glasses down on the table and making a show of uncorking the bottle and pouring their glasses. The elaborate song and dance, far too obvious in its innocence, was making Ishtar grin. Her hands took the glass before it could be handed to her. Her sip was not even close to a sip, but rather a chug.

She paused a second later, spluttering.

“O-oh god. WHAT IS THIS!?”

Gilgamesh accepted his glass, sipping at the foul concoction. “This is wine, is it not obvious? This is the 31’ merlot, if I’m not mistaken.”

“This is-agh- not! The merlot!”

She gagged as she spoke, moving to grab her napkin only to find it gone.

The host nearby handed it to her.

“Thank you,” she growled, wiping her tongue like a savage only to gasp. “OH GOD! WHAT IS- IS THIS WASHED WITH GARLIC?!”

Impressive. He hadn’t thought about that.

“Miss,” the hosts scowled at her. “What are you talking about?”

“I SMELL GARLIC ON THIS! IS THIS ONE OF THE KITCHEN TOWELS?!”

She threw the towel at them, leaving him the chance to pick it up and sniff it.

The smell was strong.

“Ishtar, this smells like it was freshly laundered… with vanilla?”

“Once again, great sense, sir!” The hosts smiled. “Most people would barely catch a whiff of the vanilla.”

“Bring me some juice then!” Ishtar slammed her glass down, ruining the tablecloth. “AND A NEW NAPKIN!”

The two hosts were already grinning like fools as they hurried back.

Ishtar reached for one of the sticks and forked some of the broccoli. She dunked it into the fondue, pulling it out and huffing a bit.

“…Anyway… It’s um… It’s good that this is happening, as I was saying before. You and I… We have this nice round and round history.”

She bit into her food, pausing a second later.

“AHH- AHH-“

Her whole face was paling, her mouth hanging open. She reached around, trying to grasp for his napkin as she whined and began to almost cry.

“Ah, yes.” Gilgamesh unfolded his napkin, setting it neatly on his lap. “Manners are important, aren’t they? I find that I have no desire to stay in the same proximity as someone who looked like a horse when partaking in something as mundane as a bit of cheese and broccoli.”

She spat the food onto the table, shrieking in outrage.

“THEY ARE TAMPERING WITH OUR FOOD!”

Gilgamesh took one of the sticks and coated another one of the pieces of broccoli, taking a bite of the half that hadn’t been coated in cheese.

“Wha- HOW ARE YOUR NOT SCREAMING?”

“Why would I scream over something this simple?” Gilgamesh set the rest of the broccoli on his plate, frowning at her. “Go home, woman. Do not seek me out again, not even by signing up for the same service that I am using. I’m assuming you got the number from Siduri’s desk during your visit the other week.”

“I-I don’t know what you me-“

“May I take your orders?” the host came, smiling proudly. “Miss, we brought your juice.”

Ishtar stared at the glass, then to him.

“Th-this is… tampered with.”

“Host,” Gilgamesh held his hand out.

He took a healthy swig, downing the apple juice a moment before he turned and tapped the shoulder of the person behind him.

“Is this to taste?”

The kid glanced to his parents before grinning and taking a sip. The boy, no older than six or seven, beamed happily.

“Well?”

“It’s the best apple juice!”

“Would you like the rest?”

Ishtar screeched again, storming off towards the exit.

“I HATE YOU!” she screamed his way.

“My apologies, sir,” the host told him, still smiling.

“…Can I still have the apple juice?” the boy asked.

“I’ll pay for your family’s whole meal,” Gilgamesh replied, ruffling the kid’s hair and leaning back in his own seat. “Host, bring me a water.”

He needed to get Hakuno out of here quickly, after all.

“Hakuno’s still upright,” Enkidu told him over his earpiece, “but she won’t last long. Shinji motioned for the check when Hakuno was looking towards the commotion that Ishtar made.”

Gilgamesh stood up, leaving a donation to the boy’s table before he went to pay at the front. 

There was no time to waste.

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter Six

Ao3,    1     2     3     4     5    7,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

This is crazy long. But I like this one. Also, second to last chapter! Also also, i mention spinny hugs three whole times because I miss Hugs. I miss them. 

Warnings: Cursing, food mention, brief angst/arguing, someone digs their nails into their skin but like unintentionally, crying, Remus-typical jokes and comments (he has some pretty violent thoughts directed towards roman), very very brief alcohol mention (wine, cuz Jan’s Like That), uhhh lots and lots of hugging and fluff. And Janus is still called Deceit, for continuity reasons. lmk if I missed something.

Word Count: 3,657

Patton did end up visiting them- albeit several hours later. Deceit wasn’t quite sure how he felt as he watched Morality make himself at home in The Subconscious living room, but he was leaning towards happy. 

Though ‘make himself at home’, was a tad of a stretch, given all his uncomfortable fidgeting. Deceit could taste that there was something he wasn’t saying, but he didn’t have to wait long to see what it was.

“I- um- I brought you guys something-”

Of course he had.

“-as an apology.”

Wait, what?

Remus’ head shot up from where he was sifting through dvds, flashing Deceit a smug grin. Patton didn’t seem to notice as he elaborated.

“You guys have been so nice to me lately, even after I, uh, didn't exactly respect you as much as I should have. I didn’t give you enough credit for what you two contribute, and that was my bad, so here!” He waved his hand and an enormous, neatly folded quilt dropped into his lap. He stood from the couch, struggling to unfurl it.

Deceit’s eyes were saucers. The blanket was a spiral of triangles of lime green, pale yellow, and baby blue fabric. At its edges were small patches of violet, indigo, and red, along with a gray border and a large black circle in the middle of the spiral. Within that circle was the word ‘Family’, embroidered in vibrant rainbow colors.

“It’s okay if you can’t forgive me right away, but I just wanted you to know that you guys are part of my family now, as far as I’m concerned, and I-”

Remus threw himself at Patton with full-force, picking up the much taller side and twirling him around in what looked to be a crushing hug. Deceit remained silent and caught the quilt as it was flung from the two-side tornado. It was soft, smooth, warm. 

“When did you… how did you have the time to make this?”

Morality’s face was flushed and he laughed, bright and airy, as Remus finally let him down. 

“That’s what took me so long to get here! You guys invited me over, and I didn’t want to show up empty-handed. I know I’m not the most artistic, but I think I’m pretty good at sewing.”

He’d spent hours making them a quilt- by hand, when he could just have conjured it- so he could offer them this olive branch. After everything. Deceit was choked up, but he wasn’t sure which emotions in specific were clogging his throat. His voice didn’t sound like his when he spoke.

“I am also sorry!” So it was a little stilted, cut him some slack! It was hard to focus on being well-spoken and not lying at the same time,  “You are- No, you aren’t- solely at fault for our not at all strained relationship.” 

“What?” Patton didn’t seem to comprehend. Remus, who looked disgustingly proud of Deceit, translated for him.

“He’s saying that we’re also sorry for being giant cunts, thanks for the neat blanket, and let’s call it even?” 

The snake nodded in agreement. 

Patton’s eyes grew wide and his smile faded, leaving behind soft surprise. He clearly hadn’t expected any sort of forgiveness, which was both saddening and admirable. He was just a living teddy bear, wasn’t he?

With an exaggerated groan, Deceit placed the quilt to the side and stood, opening his arms. Remus cheered and caught him around the waist with his arm, pulling all three of them together for a tangled group hug. Deceit pretended to hate it, but it was very hard to.

After the two extremely affectionate traits finally got tired of squeezing the life out of him, Deceit extricated himself and determinedly ignored how hot his face had gotten. He curled up on the couch and held the bundled quilt to his chest protectively. Patton and Remus worked together to settle on a movie before joining him. The latter leaned in very close, whispering right against Deceit’s ear. 

“You think we can convince him into a threesome?”

Deceit turned the volume up twenty notches and sat next to Patton for the rest of the movie, out of spite.

It was hardly the last time Patton visited them. Deceit probably should have expected the clinginess from him, popping in daily to tell them about the latest happenings in The Conscious or show them a “““funny””” meme he’d seen on Facebook. Once that door of camaraderie had opened just a crack, the moral trait had enthusiastically torn it off its proverbial hinges. And the oddest thing was how little Deceit minded. 

Patton was, in many ways, like Remus. Energetic, imaginative, affectionate, and containing depths of emotions that you’d never guess he had at first glance. Some days, Morality would run in with bright markers and an even brighter smile to have Remus to teach him new art techniques. Other times, he’d shuffle to Deceit’s door late at night, eyes bloodshot, asking whisper-quiet for a cup of tea and to spend some time together. Those nights in particular stuck with the lying trait, when he would watch Patton’s expression slowly lighten as they chatted together, talking about everything and nothing.

Another bonus of all that had happened Logan, who had now become a friend to the former Dark Sides (Deceit was very thankful to be able to chat with someone else who was Competent). Never had Deceit been so glad that he was wrong about someone!

But, as he’d quietly admitted to both Morality and Logic just a couple nights ago, there was something missing. He hadn’t elaborated, but apparently he hadn’t needed to. Leading them to now.

When Remus and Deceit had been invited for breakfast that morning, they’d of course agreed (you just can’t say no to Patton’s puppy eyes), but they were quickly abandoned with Roman and Virgil by the two bespectacled sides. The blue-hued traits supposedly had a surprise and would be right back, but Deceit could taste the lie. Yet, constrained as he was by the societal expectation to not freak the fuck out when things didn’t go the way he liked, he waited patiently while refusing to make eye-contact with Anxiety.

But then his good-for-nothing despicable traitor of a boyfriend stood up.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go stand in the kitchen and wait for things to be less awkward!”

Roman, similarly the worst, jumped to his feet as well.

“And I left the stove on!” 

So now he was just. Staring at his ex-best friend. Which was fine. 

He took a sip of his drink.

“Are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?” Virgil asked suddenly. Deceit looked down at his own drink, then towards the identical wineglass sitting by the other’s plate. 

“Yes? Aren’t you?”

“This is apple juice,” he held the glass up and swirled it, earning a snicker from Deceit. 

“Why are you drinking apple juice from a wine glass?” 

“Why are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?” 

He jerked his thumb in the direction of the kitchen, brow raised in a silent explanation: I’ve got that one, remember? Virgil nodded solemnly, a smile playing at his lips. With that minuscule, vaguely pleasant interaction, they returned to silence.

“Patton sure is taking his sweet time,” Deceit thought it only fair that he be the one to break the quiet this time, just so they were even.

“Something tells me it’s gonna be a lot longer. It’s kinda obvious what he’s doing.”

“Mm. Subtlety is not one of his virtues. It’s a nice gesture, though,” the lack of hostility in the conversation was beginning to irk him. It was almost nice. God, he’d missed it, he hated how he’d missed it.

“Yeah…” Virgil glanced away and shifted in his seat, “Yeah. He’s nice.”

“I agree.”

“Look,” the anxious side set his glass down, “Pat’s my best friend, so I’m doing this for him. I think he’s been kinda lonely lately, and I feel... responsible. Like, he’s not into me or Ro and Lo, and we aren’t either, but it’s- it’s not the same now, the four of us. And it’s pretty obvious that you guys make him happy- he talks about you all the time- so I’m giving you this one chance. Don’t fuck it up, and don’t you dare hurt him.”

Deceit blinked, blindsided. Sincerity got to him, it got under his skin and tore apart his quick wit like it was paper. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before any actual words came to him.

“I won’t repeat my past mistakes. I-” he nearly shuddered, “I promise it.”

Virgil seemed appeased, his expression easing into something more familiar (painfully familiar and new all at once). His lips quirked up in a smug smirk.

“Good. Didn’t wanna have to nudge you down a staircase, anyway.” 

Deceit chuckled. From there, the conversation flowed almost naturally. It wasn’t like old times. Maybe that was a good thing. It wasn’t quite friendly, not yet, but there was an impression. If he played his cards right, if he stayed genuine, then it would be. Soon. And that was enough for now.

Remus scrambled to the top of the fridge and loomed over his brother. He was, for once, not the first to talk. 

“So we wait it out in here until Sherlock and Watson get back from whatever it is that they’re pretending to do-”

“Which is when Snakey and Virgey kiss and make up-”

“Which will be never,” Roman concluded, sitting on the counter. He idly smoothed down his already meticulously styled hair (vain bitch). Remus picked a flea from his own scalp and flicked it at him spitefully, but it went unnoticed. Just like everything he did. 

“I don’t know why they couldn’t have let me in on their little scheme, I shouldn’t have to be between that situation.”

Remus laughed wickedly, a noise with very little mirth and a whole lot of frustration. 

“Mhm, yeah- you’re just a saint, getting along with everybody! You haven’t got a single problem to work out!”

“I didn’t say that,” Roman replied indignantly, “I know that Deceit and I don’t have a great history, but we get along fine now.”

Unbelievable. No- it was completely fucking believable! Remus should just hit him, tear his arms off and beat him with them, pull out the ol’ morning star and smash his brother’s skull in. How stupid he’d been to think that this could be fixed. Roman was impossible. No matter how hard Remus tried, he’d never get anywhere, no matter how supportive Patton was.

“Whoah, you okay?”

The Duke blinked, staring down at the angry, crescent-shaped marks that he’d clawed into his arms unknowingly. He tilted his head to stare at the other Creativity. 

“Not really, no!” 

Roman seemed taken aback. He leaned up and rested his arms on top of the fridge beside Remus.

“Don’t let Patton see you do that, he’ll have a fit,” he joked, reaching up to grab Remus’ hands. The Intrusive trait scrambled away to the other edge of the appliance.

“Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t pretend to care about what I do!” 

“What? What are you-” Roman cut himself off, his face clouding with realization, “Oh.”

“What is it now?” 

“I- I’m supposed to talk to you, aren’t I?” 

Remus stared at him for a long, thoughtful moment. He then erupted into cackles, spitting laughs out like it was the only thing stopping him from breaking down (it was). 

“Oh, whatever. Don’t pretend you don’t hate me just for Patty’s sake.”

Roman hopped off the counter, standing in front of the fridge with arms crossed. He looked angry- but not angry at Remus? That was new. New and weird. 

“You think I hate you?”

“I know you hate me, Roro,” he pulled himself to the edge of his platform, swinging his legs out in front of him. 

“Do you hate me?”

Remus wasn’t quite sure how to answer that one. It was fine, because Roman didn’t wait for a response anyway.

“Get down here.”

“Why should I?” 

“So I can- so we can- Ugh, just get down!”

The Duke got down. Curiosity killed the cat, after all (or the cephalopod, as the case may be). 

Once within his reach, Roman threw his arms open and wrapped Remus up in a fierce hug.

Remus swayed, suddenly very dizzy. Was the world always this blurry? No, no, maybe he was crying? Or maybe he’d gone blind? It didn’t matter either way, all that mattered was that someone was hugging him. Willingly. 

“You’re my brother,” Roman hissed,  “You annoy the hell out of me. And we don’t get along much. And we fight, a lot, but it wasn’t ever anything more than that. I didn’t mean for it to be more than that. You’re my brother-”

“You already mentioned that part-”

“Shush!”

He shushed.

“I don’t hate you. How could I?”

Oh. Well. Hm. That changed things.

Remus’ awareness jolted back into him then. He lifted Roman off the ground with ease and spun around in wide circles, smiling with all of his teeth (which said a lot; he had quite the array of teeth). He held on like his brother would disappear if he let go, conjuring more limbs for the express purpose of holding on tighter.

“Rem!” 

“Yeah, bro?” his voice was giddy, and distinctly wobbly, but that was irrelevant. He spun again.

“I- I’m very glad that we’re having this bonding moment, but I think you broke my ribs.”

“Oh, oops,” Remus let go immediately, dropping Roman to the floor. He offered a shrug in apology.

“Oh yeah, I don’t hate you either, by the way.”

“I assumed so,” Roman wheezed, using the counter to pull himself back to his feet. He gave Remus a lopsided smile.

“It’s good we don’t hate each other. Now I don’t have to knock you out whenever I wanna hang out with Patty.”

“Yeah, that is a relief.”

“Wow, we’re good at this whole reconciliation thing! Let’s go rub it in Vee and Dee’s emotionally constipated faces!” In mere minutes Remus already forgot what being sad felt like. Life was good and he had no problems anymore! 

“We probably should make sure they haven’t killed each other,” Roman held a hand out, which Remus grabbed gleefully.

“Ugh! Why are you always sticky?!”

“Do you really want the answer to that?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

They returned to the dining room, hand-in-hand, only to find their respective boyfriends having a perfectly civil conversation. 

‘Coincidentally’, as soon as Remus and Roman resumed their places at the table, Patton and Logan rose up with an enormous stack of stunningly fluffy pancakes. They shared a secretive smile- as though they genuinely believed that nobody knew what they’d done. Deceit didn’t correct them, but only because he hardly wanted to admit that they’d been successful (maybe it was just him that was bad at making plans; everybody else seemed to have it down). 

Breakfast was short. Deceit could’ve just finished eating a five course meal and he’d still find it hard not to wolf down Patton’s cooking, especially his breakfast food.

And naturally, Deceit offered to help clean up, which had also been a quick task. He’d just dried his hands and flashed Morality a small smirk, turning to leave. He didn’t get far before Remus grabbed his arm and swung them both back into the kitchen. 

“Before we leave, aren’t we forgetting something, DeeDee?” 

Patton set down the last plate and shot them a confused look.

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you mean, dearest,” Deceit claimed, pointedly not looking at either of them. Patton was growing progressively more bemused.

“Did you lose something again, Re?” 

“I haven’t, but Dee seems to have lost his manners.”

The dishonest trait threw his arms up and groaned. If he was only a tad less in love, he’d have decked that look off of Remus’ face.

“Alright! Patton, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!”

“What are we thanking him for?” Remus needled.

“Everything,” he’d intended it to come out biting and sarcastic, and was disgusted to find his voice laced with sincerity, of all things! 

There was most certainly an adoring, proud look on Patton’s face. He was looking away, he did not see it. 

“Oh, you two,” he still heard him though, rambling on, “It was just the least I could do!” 

Remus made a noise. It was loud and completely unintelligible, but with a general air of happiness. And, for what was very much not the first time, Deceit was crushed in an over-enthusiastic threeway hug with no means of escape. He hissed, the noise dying on his lips as soon as he saw the wide and excited grins on both Patton and Remus’ faces that were very, very close. 

Morality really had done something amazing for them- something that Deceit had hoped for for ages. Now the side just looked so happy with himself, with what he’d done, and with them.

Deceit looked between Remus and Patton. 

The human half of his face was burning. 

He looked again, just to be sure. 

Those were definitely the same feelings, huh? Oh fuck. 

“You guys are just too much,” Patton laughed, clearly unaware of Deceit’s impending emotional crisis. His hold around Deceit’s waist had tightened, and with little warning, both him and Remus were no longer on the ground.

The former Dark Sides caught eyes. The red of Remus’ face contrasted dramatically with the green of his apparel. 

Double fuck. 

Patton had clearly mistaken their stunned silence as uncomfortableness, letting them down gently and stepping back.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“It’s fine!” Was Deceit’s voice always that shrill?

“Yeah, don’t worry about it! But we have to go, right now- important, mysterious things to do! You know us, pure villainy!”

“Yes, that, what he said!”

They sunk out.

It was quiet as they appeared in The Subconscious. Remus looked at his boyfriend. Deceit was staring back, but his mind was very clearly miles elsewhere.

“So. We should maybe talk about that.”

The trait opened his mouth to speak, still looking rather dazed, but Remus interrupted him.

“I swear to God, babe, if you say ‘talk about what?’, or ‘oh, Dear, I have no idea what you mean,’ I am going to rip your esophagus out with my teeth and swallow it.”

Deceit’s mouth snapped shut, then open, then shut. He shuffled over to the couch and proceeded to drop onto it like a ragdoll.

“I think I have feelings for Patton.”

Remus sighed in relief and flopped down next to him, draping his arms across the shell-shocked snake side. 

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“You’re happy?”

He thought the question over carefully, and an absolutely terrifying possibility occurred to him.

“Yeah- I- we are on the same page, right? Like, he’s super cute and nice and fuckable, but you and I still…?” he let himself trail off. There were very few things that Remus struggled to say, but the thought that two of his favorite people would move on from him- together, no less- was both wildly horrifying and too familiar to verbalize. 

Deceit snapped out of his stupor long enough to glare angrily at Remus- more specifically, glare at the train of thought that he knew Remus was following.

“I’ll always love you, you idiot. Nobody and nothing will change that.”

Remus smiled- not a grin, but a smile- and exhaled slowly. Good, back on track.

“I love you, too. Right, now what do we do?”

“...Do?”

The Duke sat up straight enough to bonk his head against Deceit’s, eliciting a small ‘ow’. 

“Yes, ‘do’; when people have feelings for each other they do something about it- especially when that person is their friend. Unless you were planning on ignoring this, pushing it down, and going back to keeping Patton at arm’s length, which would ruin a perfectly good relationship in an effort to not ruin that relationship. Was that what you wanted to do?” 

“Well when you put it like that... No.”

“Alright, my pretty little liar, what do you want?”

Deceit hid his face in Remus’ neck. His muffled voice said something sounding a lot like ‘I have no fucking clue’.

“I can tell you what I’d like?”

More muffled noises: translation ‘If you say threesome I’m going to end you’.

“No- well, yeah- but I meant that we should woo him!”

Deceit pulled back to squint up at Remus.

“Woo him?”

“This whole conversation, you’re just a broken record- yes, do, yes, woo! We could be a throuple!”

The Duke saw Deceit very nearly say ‘throuple?’, before deciding to actually contribute to the discussion.

“I will admit, that sounds… alright, it sounds lovely. In theory. Do you really think that’s a good idea, though? Why should we risk it- we’ve only just fixed things, why go breaking them again?”

“So if Patton isn’t interested, he’s not going to be friends with us anymore, either? Does that sound like something he’d do?”

“Well- not really- but-”

“Who was right about making friends with him in the first place?”

Deceit glowered, answering begrudgingly.

“You were. But still-”

“Who was right about fixing things with Virgil?”

“... You.”

His gaze remained hesitant, so Remus continued.

“And who’s going to be right about this, when the three of us are all sucking face?”

Deceit dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

“Why do you keep being helpful? I’m supposed to be the smart one in this relationship.”

“Trust me babe, I hate it too,” Remus sympathized, “D’you want me to go microwave some silverware? You can brag to Logan about single-handedly saving my life from the explosion!”

The dishonest side smirked, leaning forwards once more to peck Remus’ cheek. 

“That’s an awful idea, my love.”

Tags:

@deceits-left-glove​ 

@princemesscharming

@shrimp-crockpot

[thecomicsnexus]

V FOR VENDETTA MARCH 1981 - MAY 1989 BY ALAN MOORE, DAVID LLOYD, TONY WARE, STEVE WHITAKER, SIOBAHN DODDS

SYNOPSIS (FROM WIKIPEDIA)

Book 1: Europe After the Reign On Guy Fawkes Night in London in 1997, a financially desperate 16-year-old, Evey Hammond, sexually solicits men who are actually members of the state secret police, called "The Finger". Preparing to rape and kill her, the Fingermen are dispatched by V, a cloaked anarchist wearing a mask, who later remotely detonates explosives at the Houses of Parliament before bringing Evey to his contraband-filled underground lair, the "Shadow Gallery". Evey tells V her life story, which reveals her own past as well as England's recent history. During a dispute over Poland in the late 1980s the Soviet Union and the United States, under the presidency of Ted Kennedy, entered a global nuclear war which left continental Europe and Africa uninhabitable. Although Britain itself was not bombed due to the Labour government's decision to remove American nuclear missiles, it faced environmental devastation and famine due to the nuclear winter. After a period of lawlessness in which Evey's mother died, the remaining corporations and fascist groups would take over England and form a new totalitarian government, Norsefire. Evey's father, a former socialist, would be arrested by the regime.

Meanwhile, Eric Finch, a veteran detective in charge of the regular police force—"the Nose"—begins investigating V's terrorist activities. Finch often communicates with Norsefire's other intelligence departments, including "the Finger," led by Derek Almond, and "the Head," embodied by Adam Susan: the reclusive government Leader, who obsessively oversees the government's Fate computer system. Finch's case thickens when V kidnaps Lewis Prothero, a propaganda-broadcasting radio personality, and drives him into a mental breakdown by forcing him to relive his actions as the commander of a "resettlement" camp near Larkhill with his treasured doll collection as inmates. Evey agrees to help V with his next assassination by disguising herself as a child prostitute to infiltrate the home of Bishop Anthony Lilliman, a paedophile priest, who V forces to commit suicide by eating a poisoned communion wafer. He prepares to murder Dr. Delia Surridge, a medical researcher who once had a romance with Finch. Finch suddenly discovers the connection among V's three targets: they all used to work at Larkhill. That night, V kills both Almond and Surridge, but Surridge has left a diary revealing that V—a former inmate and victim of Surridge's cruel medical experiments—was able to destroy and flee the camp, and is now eliminating the camp's former officers for what they did. Finch reports these findings to Susan, and suspects that this vendetta may actually be a cover for V, who, he worries, may be plotting an even bigger terrorist attack.

Book 2: This Vicious Cabaret Four months later, V breaks into Jordan Tower, the home of Norsefire's propaganda department, "the Mouth"—led by Roger Dascombe—to broadcast a speech that calls on the people to resist the government. V escapes using an elaborate diversion that results in Dascombe's death. Finch is soon introduced to Peter Creedy, the new head of the Finger, who provokes Finch to strike him and thus get sent on a forced vacation. All this time, Evey has moved on with her life, becoming romantically involved with a much older man named Gordon. Evey and Gordon unknowingly cross paths with Rose Almond, the widow of the recently killed Derek. After Derek's death, Rose reluctantly began a relationship with Dascombe, but now, with both of her lovers murdered, she is forced to perform demoralizing burlesque work, increasing her hatred of the unsupportive government.

When a Scottish gangster named Ally Harper murders Gordon, a vengeful Evey interrupts a meeting between Harper and Creedy, the latter of whom is buying the support of Harper's thugs in preparation for a coup d'état. Evey attempts to shoot Harper, but is suddenly abducted and then imprisoned. Amidst interrogation and torture, Evey finds an old letter hidden in her cell by an inmate named Valerie Page, a film actress who was imprisoned and executed for being a lesbian.

Evey's interrogator finally gives her a choice of collaboration or death; inspired by Valerie, Evey refuses to collaborate, and, expecting to be executed, is instead told that she is free. Stunned, Evey learns that her supposed imprisonment is in fact a hoax constructed by V so that she could experience an ordeal similar to the one that shaped him at Larkhill. He reveals that Valerie was a real Larkhill prisoner who died in the cell next to his and that the letter is not a fake. Evey forgives V, who has hacked into the government's Fate computer system and started emotionally manipulating Adam Susan with mind games. Consequently, Susan, who has formed a bizarre romantic attachment to the computer, is beginning to descend into madness.

Book 3: The Land of Do-As-You-Please The following 5 November (1998), V blows up the Post Office Tower and Jordan Tower, killing "the Ear" leader Brian Etheridge; in addition to effectively shutting down three government agencies: the Eye, the Ear, and the Mouth. Creedy's men and Harper's associated street gangs violently suppress the subsequent wave of revolutionary fervor from the public. V notes to Evey that he has not yet achieved what he calls the "Land of Do-as-You-Please", meaning a functional anarchistic society, and considers the current chaotic situation an interim period of "Land of Take-What-You-Want". Finch has been mysteriously absent and his young assistant, Dominic Stone, one day realises that V has been influencing the Fate computer all along, which would explain V's consistent foresight. All the while, Finch has been travelling to the abandoned site of Larkhill, where he takes LSD to conjure up memories of his own devastated past and to put his mind in the role of a prisoner of Larkhill, like V, to help give him an intuitive understanding of V's experiences. Returning to London, Finch suddenly deduces that V's lair is inside the abandoned Victoria Station, which he enters.

V takes Finch by surprise, resulting in a scuffle which sees Finch shoot V and V wound Finch with a knife. V claims that he cannot be killed since he is only an idea and that "ideas are bulletproof"; regardless, V is indeed mortally wounded and returns to the Shadow Gallery deeper within, dying in Evey's arms. Evey considers unmasking V, but decides not to, realising that V is not an identity but a symbol. She then assumes V's identity, donning one of his spare costumes. Finch sees the large amount of blood that V has left in his wake and deduces that he has mortally wounded V. Occurring concurrently to this, Creedy has been pressuring Susan to appear in public, hoping to leave him exposed. Sure enough, as Susan stops to shake hands with Rose during a parade, she shoots him in the head in vengeance for the death of her husband and the life she has had to lead since then. Following Rose's arrest, Creedy assumes emergency leadership of the country, and Finch emerges from the subway proclaiming V's death.

Due to his LSD-induced epiphany, Finch leaves his position within "the Nose". The power struggle between the remaining leaders results in all of their deaths: Harper betrays and kills Creedy at the behest of Helen Heyer (wife of "the Eye" leader Conrad Heyer, who had outbid Creedy for Harper's loyalty), and Harper and Conrad Heyer kill each other during a fight precipitated by Heyer's discovery that his wife Helen had had an affair with Harper.

With the fate of the top government officials unknown to the public, Stone acts as leader of the police forces deployed to ensure that the riots are contained should V still be alive and make his promised public announcement. Evey appears to a crowd, dressed as V, announcing the destruction of 10 Downing Street the following day and telling the crowd they must "...choose what comes next. Lives of your own, or a return to chains", whereupon a general insurrection begins. Evey destroys 10 Downing Street by blowing up an Underground train containing V's body, in the style of an explosive Viking funeral. She abducts Stone, apparently to train him as her successor. The book ends with Finch quietly observing the chaos raging in the city and walking down an abandoned motorway whose lights have all gone out.

REVIEW

So, let’s just start this review with some honest truth. I came from a country that had several dictatorships and while democracy has been stable for most of my lifetime, countries around my country... not so much. So when I am confronted with a totalitarian government like the one in this novel, I find certain things missing.

For the most part, it is correct, but there is one thing missing. Corruption. And it is quite weird that this element is missing from the story. The only characters who abused their power to do crime, are the Fingermen, and according to Moore, that was an early mistake. Now, this lack of corruption has a reason. No one in this story is supposed to be good or evil. All of them exist in the grey zone. Perhaps that is the reason we do not see that element that most fascist governments have.

Instead, we focus a lot in morality. These characters know that what they did was not correct. And some of them change their mind when presented with new information about the ones they loved. Furthermore, the main characters that are supposed to be in the “good” side, are killers. And you side with these characters for the most part, because you understand them. You may not condone what they are doing, but you know why they are doing it.

Another thing that piqued my mind is the ending. What do you think happened to England after that ending? The people that didn’t know how to vote for so many years... is capable of living in an anarchy? It took Evey a life-threatening situation to find out she was never free in her life. How would people then wake up? I would normally not care that much about it, but in this story, anarchism is presented as the solution, and we never see the solution working. After all, if ideas are bulletproof, so would be the idea of totalitarianism.

Another interesting aspect of this story is V himself. While we never see his face or learn his name, we do know almost everything else we need to know about him. And in the end we do not need to know more. The man becomes an idea for sure, and while he is not good or bad, he seems to know exactly what to do and say in every step he takes. So I feel like his character arc is not much of an arc, is just him executing his plan, with so much precision, that he affects the freewill of other characters. In that regard, I feel like his character is very unrealistic in the context of this story. While we learn all we need to know about him, I don’t think we know how he knew how to make mustard gas and napalm. Or how he learned about literature so much, or when he became an anarchist (this may have been the reason he ended up in the camp).

Now, I watched the movie only once, and I am not thrilled to watch it again. The movie is clearly more against the patriot act, and I understand why they did that. But Evey’s arc is the one I have a problem in the adaptation. In the book, V influenced Evey, only one person, and that is why he went to the extreme of taking freedom away from her, to make her realize she is free. But in the movie, it seems like this was done for no purpose. In the end, everyone is V, how did they wake up? How do we know it isn’t just plain old mob mentality?

Because this story took so long to be finished, there are some pacing issues and the first episodes may contradict the later ones a bit. But overall, I think this is an amazing story, with an incredible amount of craft. This was more of a collaboration than other Moore stories. Lloyd being very influential in the final product. There are some small details about the art that are worth mentioning. The story used to be in Black and White, and I think it was DC that did the re-coloring. Because of that, the art looks a bit odd sometimes. Lloyd’s style was a pulpy chiaroscuro, that just doesn’t have the same effect when you add color separations.

Other than that, the art in this novel always felt hard to the eye to me. With Watchmen, you have great detail in every panel, but you can spend time in them because the art is very clear. In V, the art is more realistic, it has an euro style that fits the story very well. But for regular american readers, it may have been a bit harder to follow (It’s more of an acquired taste. Once you read a few pages, you love it).

Another detail is the roman numbers. The letter V is everywhere in this story and can be traced to door number 5, where V used to be. Well, the roman numbers are also present in all the covers.

It is easy to forget about this masterpiece. Unlike Watchmen, the publishing of this story took almost a decade, which made following it harder for fans (unless you started reading it when DC republished the original chapters). Also, unlike Watchmen, this story is very dark and really makes you think about the world you live in. Like Lloyd said in the introduction, this story is not for the people that do not want to watch the news.

I give this story a score of 10.

[ernmark]

In the vein of learning from last year, let’s talk about something that really messed with me.

I’m not the first person who’s talked about productivity culture-- your every hobby is actually a side gig, your every moment needs to be accounted for and productive, you show off how studious you are by bragging about how little you sleep and how late you work and how much coffee you drink. Failure to do any of those is a mark of shame-- you’re lazy, you lack ambition, you don’t want it enough.

We are not machines. We cannot work constantly, day in and day out, with no rest or respite. Hell, machines can’t even do that-- they need to be repaired, their parts replaced, their software updated. And yet we keep pushing ourselves to a standard that would grind the most robust hardware into metal filings.

I had a boss/supervisor/”friend” who would talk all the time about how she wakes up at five every morning, reads at least one book cover to cover, and then goes on to do her work every day. And I, being young and stupid, took her at her word.

Right up to the point when I was lost in the middle of nowhere at 5:30 AM and needed directions back in the olden days before smart phones. She spoke so consistently about being awake by now-- she’d be halfway through her latest read, right? So she’d have no problem going online and looking up directions for me. I even decided to be polite about it and waited a whole hour before calling her.

When she answered, she was groggy and confused-- she’d been sleeping. I’m sure she did get up earlier and read more than I did, but then, that wasn’t all that hard back then or right now.

-

I have a colleague who is all about the hustle and then some, and she would go on at length about her plans and habits. Other writers in our circle voiced that they were impressed but made no move to follow suit, and in private she would vent to me about how they couldn’t make enough effort to ever rise above hobbyists. After all, it wasn’t like what she was doing was hard. Anyone could do it if they made half an effort.

And I took that to heart. I had proven I could write a lot, and quickly. As I am a being made entirely of hubris and self-loathing, I believed her: the only reason I wasn’t that productive all the time was if I was lazy and didn’t actually care about my craft. 

So I decided that I could absolutely keep up with her. I could write as many books in a year as she could, I could attend as many conventions, I could participate in as many marketing schemes. 

I tried, anyway. 

And very quickly, I realized that if I kept going at that pace, it would quite literally kill me. So I backed off, I admitted defeat, and I hated myself for being a failure when my colleague kept charging ahead on every track at once.

And then little cracks began to show. The same exhaustion and frustration and desperation I was feeling had been hidden away, but it was still there. A number of the things that had been lauded as points of pride and success turned out to be exaggerated in some areas, completely hollow in others. Just like with my old boss, a lot of the worst parts were an elaborate fiction meant to make her seem superhuman.

And I’m not gonna lie, there are some pretty complicated feelings about all that. Part of me is pissed at her for dragging me into something that was so devastating to my mental health-- and for consistently presenting it as the bare minimum that could possibly be expected of me. Part of me is pissed at my own competitiveness and pride for wearing myself out by trying to keep up with a fantasy, and for listening to the voice of my own depression when it kept telling me how easy all this should have been.

-

When I’m stressed and overwhelmed and breaking down, my instinct is always, always, to suck it up and buckle down and just push through it. When I don’t produce work, I feel like a failure. When I express that I’m not feeling great and need a break, I feel like I’m whining and making excuses.

But I think it’s important for me to put it into words. 

I need to break the habit of hiding from my own shortcomings (or seeing them as shortcomings in the first place, rather than just part of me being human and needing rest). I want to stop hating myself for it. Part of that is exposure therapy: it’s admitting my weaknesses and realizing that the world didn’t end.

But also, I don’t want to be like either of those women. I don’t want to build up an elaborate fantasy of constant hustle and effortless productivity, because I don’t want to inflict that same harm on other people. 

Do what you need to do, at the pace that you need to do it. Ask for extensions when you need them; the world won’t end. Ask for help. Forgive yourself. 

You don’t have to grind yourself down to nothing.

[the-real-xmonster]

Hi Alice, this message has been sitting in my outbox for almost a year, haha, thought I'll try ask :). First and foremost, thank you!! can't say enough how much I love your blog. What do you most look forward to for Yuzu in the new season? For me besides his 4A(!), I'd like to see more variety in his spins and ChSq, especially the latter, as much as I adore his ina bauer and hydroblade, maybe its time to try something new and different? Am I being too greedy?

Hello there, sorry for taking forever to get back to you on this (work is crazy and I just picked up a new video game so like… haha… *whisper* please send help). 

So, first, no, I don’t think you’re being greedy. I’d also want to see more variety in Yuzu’s ChSq in particular. I love the flavorful touches he put on his hydroblade this season by linking it with the one-foot Axel in Otonal and switching up the position in Haru yo, Koi - I hope to see more of such creativity next season, with possible application on the layback Ina Bauer as well. In addition, I’d give anything for him to bring back the sit twizzle (no Yuzu I still am not forgiving you for taking it out of Origin)

or any extended twizzle really

choreographed inside Ina Bauer

and even just a simple change edge spread eagle.

The thing is, Yuzu has so many nice, “wow” moves in his arsenal, I’d say it’s just a matter of him figuring out the right music and the right way to incorporate the right selection of moves into his choreography, which brings me to the next thing I very much look forward to, which is new music. I can say with confidence that I wouldn’t have any issue if he chooses to repeat Otonal and Origin next season, but if he decides to construct one or two new programs, I really hope he’d pick something classical, especially so if it’s for his LP. Yuzu hasn’t had a free skate set to classical music since… what… his first season as a senior? A violin concerto, a string quartet, a sonata, any kind of chamber music with a violin in it - I’m game. I think Yuzu and his style have both matured enough that now’s a good time to revisit that most fundamental of combinations: skating and classical music, and I believe he’d do a stellar job given the fitting music.

Continued:

Secondly, I’ve heard Kurt Browning commentated more than once that he’s amazed how relaxed/“quiet” Yuzu’s upper body was when he jumped, I’d like to ask if you can elaborate that point more, better yet, can you show me how “not-relaxed” other skaters might be when performing a jump? 

I actually have touched on this same topic before and miraculously enough I was able to find that old post, here you go.

In that old post I used Patrick, Shoma, Javi, Nathan, Boyang (the 2017 WC top 6) for juxtaposition, but it should be noted that none of those 5 is whom I’d call a “muscled” jumper. Their upper body might not be as totally relaxed as Yuzu, who is absolutely in a league of his own in that regard, but their takeoff postures are all fair enough to look at, and they don’t overuse their upper body to force start the rotation either. If you want to know what a truly “not relaxed” upper body looks like, I, sadly, have to point you to Junhwan (as discussed here in comparison with Javi), and Zhenya, especially back around when she was in junior / first turned senior. See the way she pushed her arms out taut and tensed up her shoulders before both of the jumps?

Now you can compare Zhenya’s 3F3T against this combo of Kaori’s below to see the difference between her takeoff and one with a quiet, relaxed upper body (most of the Japanese ladies are pretty good at that, but I think Kaori is truly the standout example even among her teammates). 

Continued:

Thirdly, in regard to the current rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan, I felt the same as Brian Orser that it kind of reminds me of back in 2013-14, when Yuzu was a teenager rising star chasing Patrick the 3 time worldchampion. And Yuzu was known as a great jumper back then while Patrick was renowned for his skating skills, and it was very excited to see them go against each other. Now Yuzu is so well rounded (pray for his ankle!) and Nathan is developing quickly too, are we gonna see more of that excitement in the next year or two? I hope its good for the sport. Sorry about this long Questions post. :)

Yes, of course, it’s good for the sport to have a lot of variety in (1) the natural baseline abilities of the skaters (2) which areas each skater chooses to focus on and (3) the strategies employed by the skaters, as a result of (1) and (2) combined. It’s also great for the sport to have a new generation developing and competing against the older one(s), whilst both continuously pushing / inspiring each other to move forward. A sport lacking such generational movement, IMO, is as good as dead, and no matter how intense the competition among the existing generation is, when you look at it as a whole, such a competitive landscape would ultimately feel somewhat… bleak (for lack of a better word). I know that feeling very well because that gloom and doom mood just about sums up the prospect of men’s tennis for the last half of the decade. Sure it’s been fun and it still is, mostly, to watch the holy trinity of Roger - Rafa - Novak trying to one-up each other on how many entries they have in the history book, but one can’t help but screaming into the void, from time to time: where are all the darned kids? 

So, yeah, you could say that, even though the outcome of their competition might not always be to my liking, I’m glad that a rivalry of sort exists between Yuzu and Nate, I think it does make the men’s competition more scintillating to follow for new and old fans alike, and just as importantly, I believe it’s part of the reasons why Yuzu’s decided to stay with us for at least another season.

Here’s to an exciting 2019-2020 skating season!   

[ourholyfireposts-blog]

Reasons why marriage is hard for modern-day Christians

File

REASONS WHY MARRIAGE IS HARD TODAY

Introduction

I watched a television interview of two Christian women, raised by Christian parents, one of them being the daughter of a popular Pastor.  These women spoke glowingly about God, His love and salvation.

But in spite of their knowledge of the word of God, they could not maintain their marriage, to the end they are both divorced.  This is very painful to my heart because I know that God hates divorce.  Divorce devastate the children and make them have a negative impression about marriage and life in general.

Believers should know that temptation comes to all, and all who love the Lord will suffer hardship, be tempted and tested by the devil.  We should be prepared to make an extra sacrifice to keep our marriage.  I understand there could be difficult relationships, yet prayer and God's mercy can change it for better.

Sometimes, believers write books on how they overcame a difficult marriage, not through prayers and divine intervention, but through a divorce.  This is worldliness.  A Christian woman is a praying woman, a home builder and virtuous woman, should not celebrate divorce with a book.  You should rather write a book on patience and perseverance.

Here are Christian women with children, talking glowingly about God and how He cared for them, yet they could not maintain their marriages.  They are vast in the language of this world and eloquent in speech.  Every now and then you hear them talk of abuse, being mistreated and so on.  I am married for over 20 years now.  It has not been easy, but we are still together.  Marriage is not a bed of roses and it will never be.

Modern-day marital challenges

How is it that a woman will speak so well about God and the bible and yet she is divorced?  Why are women crying abuse and mistreating them each time there is divorce? and why is it hard for people to pray harder and endure the challenges of marriage.  These and other issues I am hoping to take a deep look into them, who knows whose marriage may be recovered through this message.

Marriage is a living test for every child of God.  Every aspect of the word of God is tested under a marriage arrangement and the Lord carefully apportioned responsibilities on both sides, the man and the woman.  Marriage tests your knowledge of the Word of God, your maturity as a Christian, and your willingness to obey the word you know.

If you listen to married couples talk about their marriage, you will instantly notice that many of the people are adult babies.  They are born again Christians, yet babies in the things of the spirit, they are still babies.  Some of these believers are born again, but not separated from the world.  They think like the world, talk like the world, dress like the world and even compare themselves with worldly people.  This is an error, grow up child of God!

Home Builders

If you are born again and married, know that you are in a godly arrangement called marriage.  God has prescribed your duties to Him and your spouse, locate these scriptures and obey and practise them.  A marriage succeeds with obedience to God's word.  Marriage is not convenient many times, but when you remember that you are a child of God and you have to obey the ordinances of marriage established by God.  

The Lord calls the woman, the Home Builder.  The house is her own and she has 75% or more influence on what happens in the family.  The women are in charge of homes, whether the husband is President or Governor, she controls him at home.  This arrangement is divine.

She takes care of her husband and the children, and God says to submit to your husband in all things and the husband should love the wife and be ready to die for her.  This is the key the devil is using to ignite rebellion in some women to destroy their homes - Submission.

The women should know the devil hates them so much. The devil would prefer that no woman is married and under a godly marriage. his plans for the women is to turn them to seducers, adulterers and fornicators.  The devil would prefer to have women become prostitutes instead of married women.  So, the women must resist the temptations of satan to divorce their spouse.

For the man, the Lord says prefer their wives more than themselves.  Entreat her, love her more than you love yourself, more than you love your mother.  The Lord dropped a warning to the man to be careful how he treats the wife of his youth so that his prayers are not hindered.  

The man's role is important as the father and provider of material things, and in training the children, but the woman builds the home.  So, it painful when women do not recognize the unique position they hold in marriage, instead they go into activism and fighting for their right.  Which rights are they fighting and how are they fighting for these rights.  They are not fighting for the rights on their knees, but physically through arguments, reporting to family members, parents etc.

As I meditated on this serious matter, I believe the Lord put some words in my heart, which I have listed and discussed below.

Some of the reasons include:

1. Rebellion

2. Worldliness

3. Death of Love

3. Taking the Word of God for granted

5. Knowledge of letters, lack of  Spirit

6. Lack of spiritual growth

REBELLION

Rebellion is opposition to authority.   The rebellion I am talking about here is to disregard the word of God concerning marriage.  Rebellion is a sin, as deadly as the sin of witchcraft.  When a believer ignores the word of God on any issue, it is obvious the purpose of God on that matter will be frustrated.

In the home, God’s chain of authority is that the husband is to be the head of the family. The husband’s responsibility is to lead his family in submitting to Christ (Ephesians 5:23). The wife is to submit to her husband, and children are to obey their parents (Ephesians 5:22; 6:1; Colossians 3:18, 20). Rebellion against God's order at home will lead to chaos and a break down within the home.

Unfortunately, we have a hidden lawyer inside of us that urges us to stand up for our rights.  This spirit of rebellion tells you to fight when someone is not respecting your rights, so you see modern-day women claiming rights and talking of abuse in the home.  It is the spirit of rebellion that grips the woman to resist to submit to her husband in all things as the bible instructs.  

She thinks in her heart, in what way is he better than me?  That is rebellion.  When the woman refuses to submit, the children will also rebel against their parents and the house will be in confusion.  Rebellion is the hand of Satan in a marriage, that seeks to bring it down.

Giving up rebellion will get you out of trouble.  God will be happy and your husband will be happy also.  But you should be prepared because when you start submitting, your flesh isn’t going to like it! Many times, rebellion is linked with pride of beauty, intelligence or achievement.  But watch this, as God withdrew the Kingship from Saul and his family forever, that is how God withholds the blessings from the rebellious woman.  If He blesses disobedience, it will lead to more disobedience.

WORLDLINESS

Worldliness is an attitude, love and obsession towards the systems of the world.  Anything in the world you love so much and spend time doing has arrested you and made you worldly.  Whether it is a car, TV or phone.  To the simple, the world and many things in it are attractive.

For instance, to dress, make-up and stand out like other women is attractive to women.  To watch TV and enjoy sports are attractive to men.  But to be so obsessed by any of them, to drink and get drunk, to skipping church to watch sports is worldliness.  Paul equates worldliness with spiritual immaturity in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3. Christian who still get bitter, angry and fight are worldly.  When a Christian says, "when I get angry, I could fight", you know he is still worldly.

Worldliness makes a believer confess Christ as Lord but lacks the power of God inside of him or her.  It makes studying and meditating on the word of God very hard, hence spiritual growth and maturity becomes zero.  

In James 4:4, Apostle James calls Christians and church members “adulterers and adulteresses” because of their friendship with the world, adding that the one who will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.  In 1 John 2:15,  John commands Christians not to love the world. Meaning  “Stop loving the world.” because  “if any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Characters of worldliness in Marriage

1. A worldly Christian will pray less, meditate less on the word, and become infrequent in his attendance to church services.

2. A worldly Christian will show a preference for worldly ceremonies and occasions and make elaborate preparations to attend.

3. A worldly Christian can even borrow money to buy clothes for an occasion that will not have any spiritual impact on him or her.

4. A worldly Christian will hardly find a Christian friend because they will be boring to him or her.  The word of God often spoken and confessed by believers disgust them.  They love gossips and playing hide and seek.

5. A worldly Christian will spend hours watching TV, computer games, playing sports, and hanging out with unbelieving friends, but little time in devotion to God. They are so consumed by Whatsapp, Facebook and the entire social media that there is no time left for prayers and meditation on the word.

6. If you still enjoy the company of worldly friends and their stories, you will need to examine your heart again.

LACK OF LOVE

This is a major reason why marriages are breaking.  The love for God, which is our first love is a marriage sealant.  It seals your marriage with love.  There is no man or woman, who love the Lord, that will hate the husband or wife.  You cannot love God and find it difficult to forgive your spouse.

You cannot love the Lord and not fear Him.  That fear of God is the beginning of godly wisdom, it will be difficult for you to obey Godly order as it is in marriage.  If you don't love and fear the Lord, you are still in the world, and therefore you will be unforgiving, vindictive and unforgiving.  You will always wait for an opportunity to take revenge, even on your own spouse, which the bible says both of you are now ONE.

If you love your spouse, you will pray for him or her daily and as often as you pray for yourself.  You will forgive offences easily, will not abuse or refuse his or her request.  You will know that you are both not perfect, so your hope and trust is in God.

If you love and fear the Lord, your marriage becomes a ministry.  Your service to God starts from your home.  You love your spouse and children unconditionally, observe and obey the word of God concerning marriage and show your family who God truly is through your behaviours.  If all these are in place, where will you find a space to mention divorce? NONE!

SPIRITUAL MATURITY

It is obvious that many Christian keep growing in their career and profession, but pay no attention to their spiritual growth.  This is dangerous in the world of today.  Growth in the things of God is achieved through:

1. Knowing the Word of God and God deeply

2. Obeying the word of God

3. Living the word.  Living a changed life of an Ambassador of Christ

4. Serving God in word and action

When you talk about spiritual growth in marriage, you are talking about a Christian that is not ignorant of the devices of Satan for the marriage.  A Christian who knows the enemy will desire to scatter his or her home and decides personally to obey the word of God and apply them in his or her marriage.

A matured Christian in marriage will invest time and resources to grow the love life between the couple and make sure it grows.  Love will stand and grow in marriage when the man loves his wife above himself and his mother, and when the woman submits to her husband.  Love in marriage will grow when there is mutual respect between the couple.  

You are not taking each other for granted, there is no secret sin or information hidden anywhere.  Love will grow in marriage when you study and know the like and dislikes of your spouse and respect them.  All the basic courtesy and respects of a husband and wife must be given to them so that the couples are individually happy and have trust.

A spiritually grown Christian knows there is no place for adultery and fornication in marriage, he does not need preaching to order himself/herself aright.  A matured Christian in marriage would have prayerfully overcome anger, unforgiveness, vindictiveness and abuse.  You cannot be a spiritually grown man, and you still fight with your wife or even abuse her physically and emotionally, NO!  You cannot fight the man/woman you are praying for every day, it's not possible.

When a man or woman grows in the spirit, he knows the value of his wife or husband.  The treasure they represent and be prepared to play their individual roles, including protecting them, and everything that concerns them that is right.  But, if you are still following your old friends tonight parties, dress like under sixteen, when you have a husband and four children, you are still a baby!

TAKING THE WORD FOR GRANTED

Many people in marriage take the Word of God for granted, probably because God is merciful and patient.  This is why you see believers compromising their faith for reward, without knowing that the consequences will surely come.

Instead of praying and fasting for a problem to be removed, many Christian will jump to demonic alternatives, yet they are still Christians.  Many Christians in high positions in the church still use charms and amulets for protection and business, as though God has no powers that can protect them.  

Some of the troubles of life come to test our faith in God.  Apostle Peter did not believe he can deny Christ.  He even swore he would never deny Him, but when the test came, he denied Christ.  Overconfidence in oneself can lead to a fall, and the safest way to go is to obey the Word and do what the bible says we should do.

In marriage, some women still discuss their marriage with their parents, looking for affirmation.  Others discuss their husband with their friends, what the man is doing and what he is not doing, exposing their marriage to the devil to wage war on it.

Some people are married, yet the pictures and contact of their former lovers are still with them.  They spend hours talking and chatting with them.  Why?  God says we should love everyone.  If you are doing this, know that you are taking the word for granted and tempting the devil.  You are destroying your marriage slowly, stop it.

KNOWLEDGE OF LETTERS, LACK OF SPIRIT

This is a very dangerous trend.  We have believers who can talk, demonstrate the word of God, but find it difficult to walk in it.  They know how to claim their rights, fight for their rights and fight abuse and mistreatment, but don't know how to submit to divine authority.  They don't know how to persevere when things are difficult and allow God to have His way in their lives.

They are lawyers and advocates but have no morals to teach their children.  They are angry, bitter and encouraging people to take steps that God hates, yet they are speaking the word of God.  All their speakings lack the love that perfects all things, and so they are confused.

Every Christian should carefully consider the words we speak and actions we take, how it affects other people around, for the bible says that to profess Christ in words alone without corresponding faith walk is a waste of time.  It is in vain to confess the Lord and lack the power He gives, which is the power that sets us free from sin and worldliness.  Paul equates worldliness with spiritual immaturity in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3. Christian who still get bitter, angry and fight are worldly.  When a Christian says, "when I get angry, I can fight", you know he is still worldly.

In 2 Cor 3:6, Apostle Paul says "He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant- — not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life".  'Letter' kills, but the Spirit giveth life.

CONCLUSION

Marriage is a divine arrangement to make man fulfil his destiny on earth.  For both men and women, marriage is a ministry and where you begin the service of God.  Apart from God, the next thing in life is family, not you and not your neighbour.

God has put Hos Order for a successful marriage, which we are to submit to and walk-in throughout our lives together.  He also assigned responsibilities to each person in marriage, that we should not ignore.  Instead, we should depend on Him to direct our speech and actions, so that our marriages and homes will be happy, whether we are rich or comfortable.

Christians in marriage should be delivered from worldliness, and we should desire and in fact, grow in the spirit in order to fulfil our covenant obligations and live a fulfilled life.

Thank you for visiting Fireinthebone.com

FIRE...

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: Life Story #4 Thoughts Part 1: Doc Ock Disservice

In retrospect issue #1 of this series was a mixed bag, issue #2 was bad, issue #3 was hot trash and now issue #4 is...

 Well...it depends.

See I usually try my best to write these basically as soon as I’ve read an issue. However a trip to my LCS and back is at least a 2 hour round trip and I had to head into work practically immediately after getting back. Consequently I’m writing this several hours later than I would have liked.

My initial gut feeling during and immediately after reading the issue was that this was a mixed bag. But ruminating on it more it’s gone down yet further in my eyes.

Maybe I’m not diving deep enough into it but my gut feelings on this (which is what these posts are, they’re not reviews where I try to be more actively analytical rather than ‘free style’ it) it’s...not AS bad as prior issues; issue #3 being the absolute nadir thus far.

Perhaps that is due to now knowing how messed up this series is I knew what I was getting into and what to expect thus I was less aghast by what I saw. Perhaps it was the fact that this issue, unlike issue #3, didn’t slap my intelligence in the face with asinine historical politics and the most aggressively stupid attempt to homage my fav Spidey tale, KLH.

However some of my...I don’t know the right term...my feeling less disdainfulness, towards this issue might stem from Peter’s age.

See when you do the math canon Peter Parker’s lifespan can be viewed as encompassing the amount of time covered in issues #1-3, that is to say ages 15-mid 30s. Thus there was a certain degree of precedence involved, a certain roadmap for us to compare LF Peter to.

But in this issue Peter is around 48 years old. This is well beyond the age of canon Peter Parker and only AU versions of the character have ever approached that age and being AUs they aren’t great sources for comparison. The closest thing we have is MC2 Peter Parker who was in his early 40s and different in his attitude and outlook to LF Peter. However that could be due to being younger, having his family and being retired for 10+ years thus making him more positive towards the prospect of being Spider-Man.

LF Peter is fed up, tired and wants to stop being Spider-Man. Any of the old enjoyment he ever derived from it is long gone. As is apparently his desire to remain ‘relevent’. Guess he got over that early mid-life crisis he went through in issue #3. You know that mid-life crisis that led to him using an alien performance enhancer that was allegedly addictive.

Actually more than a few of this issue’s problems can be owed to older issues, and specifically issue #3.

First of all...so America is still around. Um...yeah wasn’t there a war with Russia happening last issue? Wasn’t there a nuclear arms race that was hotter than the Cold War ever was in real life?

I suppose given how utterly unrealistic it was that Russia nuked an American town and then nuclear Armageddon didn’t ensue in issue #3, this issue is consistent in it’s boneheaded lack of realism.

And it does offer an explanation. Tony Stark’s weapons ended the war.

...Okay...we need to talk about this again and this time I’m going to spell it out.

So there has been no end of speculative fiction presenting stories revolving around a world where historical events happened differently.

A common example, embodied by the acclaimed show Man in the High Castle, is ‘What if the Axis powers won WWII’.

Life Story has at various turns presented real life historical events but injected superheroes in them whilst also showing them playing out differently.

Iron Man, Giant Man and Captain America went to Vietnam.

Captain America went rogue in Vietnam.

The Vietnam War lasted longer than in real life history.

Russia launched nukes at the USA and destroyed a town resulting in a super hero invasion on Russia and open warfare.

Said war was won by America apparently thanks to Tony Stark’s weapons.

Do you know the difference between Life Story and Man in the High Castle, or indeed most speculative fiction?

It actually explains what happened!

In Man in the High Castle we learn various pieces of the alternate history, among them being that the Axis powers developed atomic weapons before the Allies and nuked Washington DC, eventually winning the war and dividing America between the Third Riech and the Empire of Japan.

In Life Story we find out the Vietnam War lasted longer. Somehow.

In Life Story we find out Tony Stark’s weapons won the war with Russia. Somehow.

WHAT HAPPENED!

At best this is a pointless tease, it’s like sidestory world building. What’s the point of bringing the fact that this world’s history is drastically different but not bothering to elaborate on it at all.

Tony’s weapons won the war. What weapons? How did they win? Give us some details for God’s sake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the story isn’t about the Russian war or the alternate international politics, it’s about Spider-Man. But then...why the fuck is it in the story?

Shit dude, redraft Life Story a little bit and you could more or less exorcise ALL the stuff about international political conflicts and lose nothing. In the case of Kraven’s motivations last issue it’d be an improvement!

Look maybe I’ve got a bug up my butt about this more than most people because I studied history at university, but even putting that aside...it just feels superfluous to this story.

What gets me is that it’s veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery good money the only reason this shit is in the story is to evoke Watchmen (which ‘coincidenally’ is being revisted in Doomsday Clock by DC right now) which was also an example of speculative historical fiction involving superheroes. Which also explained what happened!

Superheroes existed. So they intervened in Vietnam. And they won because of their overwhelming power.

In Life Story we don’t even know who won the Vietnam War or even if it’s over yet!

Moving on a little, so Tony Stark and Peter are at logger heads. Now I dislike Spider-Man’s involvement with Iron Man in recent years but I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand seeing Iron Man not be Peter’s mentor is lovely, but I wonder if Zdarsky was banking on audience familiarity with that dynamic from the films to create a shock moment by portraying a relationship between both men so at odds with what you see in Homecoming.

That wasn’t my first thought though. My first thought was Zdarsky is trading off of the Peter/Tony relationship from JMS’ run...which had nothing to do with the 1990s at all; we’ll talk more about that in a minute.

Finally, not content to write Peter out of character, Zdarsky apparently wanted to write Tony out of character too.

I am no Iron Man expert but by the 1990s...hadn’t he kinda sorta stopped making weapons!

I could forgive it in the older issues because Tony apparently didn’t get out of the arms business in the comics immediately like in the films, so it wasn’t inaccurate to the time periods. But I’m 90% sure he had stopped making weapons by the 1990s. Tell me if I’m wrong please, but if I am not....holy shit what is Zdarsky doing? How does aging in real time = Iron Man would still be a war profiteer?

Let’s leave Stark and the real life history alone and get into the real meat of this story.

Okay so we have Ben Reil-

Wait what?

*re-reads Life Story #4*

...there is something off with this...

*checks Life Story #2*

...um...Life Story #2 clearly states that Peter and Gwen’s clones took on the names Helen and Ben PARKER not REILLY!

Now Reilly makes a lot more sense from both a practical point of view (a guy who looks like Peter Parker with his last name raises questions) and from a referencing canon POV.

But what the fuck is up with the inconsistency?

Who was asleep at the wheel for that one! Oh...but it won’t be the only inconsistency by the way.

So Ben Reilly (who looks more like Ben Urich) is a photogra-

Wait, wait, wait. What again?

Ben Reilly is a...photographer?

...WHY??????????????????????

Look...Peter does have a certain passion for photojournalism, but he prefers science.

Ben Reilly in canon never even considered photography as a job to my recollection. He worked as a lab assistant, a barrista, a bouncer/body guard, a teacher but never a photographer even though that would’ve been an obvious profession to consider.

When Peter began working that job it was a way for him to earn the money he desperately needed to provide for himself and Aunt May whilst also not having his time eaten up with a 9-5.

Sure Ben is also a superhero (the Red Mask...I hope he didn’t dream that up himself...in the middle of a Cold War...) in this universe, but what is motivating him to do that? He’s got science smarts, he has legal documentation from issue #2 allowing him to hold jobs. Why would he not go into a field he both prefers and one that you’d think in a world where there was a war raging with intangible nukes would be of greater use?

I can think of some No. Prize explanations...but that’s the problem.

I  have to think of those explanations. The story, like so much else in this shitty series, doesn’t elaborate.

This goes beyond the characters being different for the sake of being different from canon.

Ben Reilly is doing something that demands an explanation within the context of this series’ unique continuity as established. It’s not even a matter of established characterization based on canon, it’s a matter of established characterization based upon the last 3 goddam issues.

This lack of thought equally applies to our main villain of the issue, Doctor Octopus.

So in issue #2/1977 Doc Ock had reformed because of a heart attack and all that good tender luvin care he got from a woman at least 20 years his senior; Zdarsky does know most people enjoy the May/Otto relationship ironically right, nobody actually thinks it makes sense or was a good idea, but no here it’s the crux of his whole character.

In issue #3/1984 he was...clearly a villain again because he’s obviously attacking Spider-Man in the double page spread depicting Secret Wars.

In issue #4/1995 we learn that Otto was at May’s funeral and this was the last time Peter saw him. Also according to Peter May left Otto long before she died and that was when he just disappeared, Peter presuming he retired in Florida.

So going by issue #4 alone we have something of a contradiction. If Otto disappeared long before May’s death...how could the last time Peter have seen him been at her funeral.

Maybe that’s just phrased a little badly and I’m nitpicking. Fair enough.

What isn’t fair enough though is either Zdarsky isn’t paying attention to his own writing, Bagley and he are not communicating properly or the editor is severely dropping the ball.

May and Otto were clearly NOT together in issue #3 when Otto was also clearly a villain and Peter clearly was aware of this because Otto was attacking him.

Which means Otto must’ve disappeared before then which means Peter would’ve known he hadn’t retired, he’d returned to villainy.

Now a point of praise, Otto blaming Peter for May leaving him, I think that rings true to Otto’s character, let alone an old aging Otto. This is the guy who often saw what he wanted to see, who infamously once wanted to nuke NYC to prove how he wasn’t to be taken lightly even though it’d also kill him too.

Too bad that point of praise is drowned out by his plan in this story which is all wrapped up in the clones.

Okay, okay, Doc Ock had a important role to play in the 1990s Clone Saga so what’s the problem?

The problem is that...I heavily suspect this isn’t riffing on the 1990s Clone Saga.

I think it’s much more likely that it’s riffing on the Ultimate Clone Saga in which Doc Ock was the mastermind behind the clones; coincidentally Bagley drew all three of the Ock Clone Saga tales which is a nice piece of historical symmetry.

Why...is....Zdarsky....riffing....on....a...Ultimate....Universe....story....?????????????????...from the 2000s!!!!!!!!

And in case the jury doesn’t accept that criticism here is another one. Otto feels he’s dying without accomplishing anything.

Um...wasn’t he working with Reed Richards in issue #2?

Otto working legitimately with a big brain like Reed surely would’ve in like 10 years accomplished SOMETHING! He invented so much crazy tech he really didn’t patent any of it, release it to the public?

Couldn’t his arms alone do wonders for disabled people?

I know this is comics so you should suspend disbelief because if you don’t you have to ask why fossil fuels even still exist.

But that’s the problem with this series.

It wants to have it’s cake and eat it.

It wants to show superheroes having a world changing impact on the world as they realistically would...but not go all the way with it.

It wants to have superheroes go to Vietnam and Russia have and use super powered people and intangible nukes but it also wants to ignore the obvious ramifications when it’s inconvenient.

This gets even stupider when you contextualize it within wider Spider-Man media. In the recent, heavily publicized Spidey PS4 video game (that Marvel is adapting as a comic book right now) Doc Ock creates his arms specifically to help disabled people and uses them because he himself is losing control of his motor functions. And in Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon (for 5 year olds) Doc Ock is disabled from the outset and entirely relies on his arms to move around.

So why the fuck did Otto at no point consider using that tech to help the disabled and thereby accomplish something in his life. It’s an obvious idea Reed, Peter or even May must’ve suggested. It probably could’ve helped someone as frail and infirm as May specifically.

We’re also told May left Otto due to his anger. Great use of telling not showing there Zdarsky. Remember how angry Otto seemed in his one other speaking appearance before now?