#forgot to make something last year ^^;
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Happy Pride Month!
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Pastel people 🌸🤨⁉️
#I gotta remember to make Amari something for national princess day#I forgot last year 🗿#stardew valley#stardew valley oc#stardew valley farmer#farmer amari#demon uruz
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Happy pride month
#tbh I made this last year and completely forgot about it#it's been sitting in my drafts waiting for pride month to roll back around lol#my video editing skills leave something to be desired but the giant himself came to me in a vision and told me to make this#trucoop#twin peaks
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She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!
#neopets#neotag#neoart#kiko#slorg#aquanutart#this was for a western themed beauty contest last year! it was very fun! :D i'm so happy we were able to be part of it!#and by 'very fun' i mean it's completely exhausting and i can only handle participating once or twice a year#but it is very exciting too! she gave tea to everyone who stopped by. she was very happy to be able to help so many visitors!#i actually forgot until i checked whether this was from one or two years ago... my sense of time as an adult is --- *waves hand vaguely*#i'm so sorry for all the messages i didn't answer. specifically to the user who sent me a really kind message out of the blue#about how they got the slugawoo avvie from my quiggle's lookup. i didn't even know you could get the avvie from his lookup#so i was very happy to find out!! and i was happy there might be more people getting the avvie from his lookup i didn't know about#and i wanted to tell them how absolutely happy it made me and my brain said ' you should respond to this right away or you won't do it'#and i thought you fool. of course i'll make sure to do something this important#and i kept thinking about it for the past year and thinking i will do it. i will do it#but when i thought about writing the words that were floating in my mind the whole time i would feel blocked#this happens all the time and i'm sorry. it really does make me so happy#and then they deleted all the neomails but thankfully i had it saved so i still was able to find their username and send a message thankyou#i'm very glad
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Happy New Year 2002 !!
the little creatures but in full hd:
#deltarune#spamton#big shot spamton#swatch deltarune#swatchton#cw eyestrain#my art#happy new year#!!!#i wanted to draw something a lot more ambitious for tonight but all i have to work with is mspaint and a dream#do not fret though!!!!! i will draw it soon enough!!!#..........maybe#i was supposed to also draw swatchton in my notebook in 2024 into 2025 but i. forgot#whoops.#3:14 am edit..... this isnt showing up in any of the tags.................#im too scared to repost though so uh. rip to this post and the last lol#i DID really enjoy making this though. and im quite proud of the end result. sooo thats all that matters :o)))#1:45pm edit..... its there now!! yahoo wahoo yippee!!!!!
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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getting old is so, so hard.
#Mom is taking about taking away my grandma’s credit card because she can’t be trusted with it#Your memory goes and you start forgetting names#Technology gets harder and you forget stuff#You forgot conversations you had#you forget even memories from the past#Just. We are sliding further into dementia and it’s getting harder faster I think#Struggled with my grandpa last year (dad’s dad) and now it’s mom’s mom#It’s so frustrating and I just pray for an increase in patience for all of us#So I’ve faced it in close proximity with this grandma and my parents probably have a high probability of having it too#And on top of that a family friend’s dad is passing probably today#Pray for patience for us (me) please#And wisdom#And of course there’s the whole issue of me still worrying she’s not saved and begging God to do something and make it clear#And worrying I’m not doing enough on that front but God just doesn’t seem to be helping me know what to do even though I’m asking literally#Every day?? 😭😭😭
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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This is the spiritual successor to Four Seasons Landscaping. To me.
#the political career of rishi sunak over the past two years is something that is absolutely fascinating to me#mans kicks off the mass resignation of virtually everyone of relevance in the johnson government just for a shot at power#manages to climb over everybody else in the leadership campaign; loses at the last hurdle to liz truss#(the human embodiment of a soggy ball of iceberg lettuce you left in your fridge and forgot about)#when truss’s premiership imploded he was right there to… further cock things up?#his highlights include hiring back a cabinet minister who had literally been fired the previous day#after 18 months; his party finally got sick enough of him violently hydroplaning down the highway to hell that they threatened him#with a vote of no-confidence#so he went out in the rain and went straight to charles iii of all people to ask him to dissolve parliament. as you do#and called a general election WHILE STILL IN THE RAIN and while the most unserious music imaginable played in the background#because i guess he thought ‘if i’m going down i’m bringing all of you with me’ ?????#knowing that unless something absolutely bananas happens; he is essentially handing over the country to keir starmer mind you#and then today someone placed him in front of a morrisons sign in such a way that his big head makes the sign look like it says ‘moron’#and photographed him as such. i’m obsessed. no notes#i will not miss this idiot but i can’t say i haven’t been entertained. because i have#i’m like genuinely impressed with how much the tories have managed to fuck up in so many different ways#to be honest ever since david cameron resigned and walked off humming; nothing has been normal here#i mean things were bad before that but good god#personal
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if I could explode people with my mind we would have a lot of job openings in upper management
#nerd alert#i was all set for today to be easy but of course i forgot that every last day of the semester is bullshit for me#strictly because of UPPER MANAGEMENT DECISIONS.#i made 2 days worth of product on tuesday and was told it should last the rest of the week since the last day of the semester is friday#so who is going to buy it??? students are going home its gonna be sooo slow dw about it and in fact all those ingredients u have prepped?#you wont even need that go ahead and send it to other stations. its fine you wont have to make anything else :)#i come in today ready to just deep clean my station and go home. and theyre like THANK FUCK YOURE HERE WERE OUT OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!#and im like. what the FUCK am i supposed to do about that. i have NO PRODUCT!!!!!!!! I HAVE NOTHING PREPPED!!!!!!#do you expect me to pull some romaine out of my ASS or something???????? whats WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!#and the worst part is they werent even out of everything. theyre actually stocked kinda ok. like theyre shorter than they thought#but they still have stuff to sell. like whats the deal#and yknow what i dont see why upper management cant be like 'well its the last 3 days of the semester. its actually fine if we run out'#bc id bet real money that whats gonna happen is im gonna scramble around making what bullshit im able to make with our limited supplies#(bc of course we dont have any fucking food its the last 3 days of the school year!!!! we didnt order shit!!!!!!!)#and then theyll be nice and stocked up and sell fucking nothing and itll all go in the garbage.#bc god forbid anyone in upper management have any goddamn critical thinking skills or forward planning
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Spectre Moodboard
#Spectre the Echidna#Brotherhood of Guardians#Here's something I made during one of the hurricanes late last year and forgot to post oops#I really had fun making this and I definitely plan to make some more for the rest of the bois ^^#also I'm not dead I've just been trying to get off the struggle bus#just been overall slow online#【ｍｏｏｄ ｂｏａｒｄ】
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Going back to my roots (watching choose our destiny)
#Something about the sun being out#And it being a holiday#Makes me want to watch old starcanwrecked#I mean last year I forgot to have my yearly summer marathon so like shame on me#starkid#tin can bros#tin can brothers#starcanwrecked#choose our destiny#joey richter#lauren lopez#brian rosenthal#corey lubowich#ashley skidmore#nat og
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Funny that my migraines can sometimes just look like me being too fucking tired and foggy to mediate between family members
#I was so ON all the time on Christmas Day til about 9pm#then then I baked stuff and made the mistake of drinking but I was so emotionally wrung out man I needed control of SOMETHING#I should’ve considered it might trigger a migraine but I was so exhausted#and then the next day sibs started arguing#and normally I would’ve intervened#but I was literally lying on the floor with a book on my face trying not to cry out of pain and frustration#so it didn’t happen#and genuinely I forgot how much brainpower it take#bc this year I spent so much time reminding myself I could control my reactions and nothing else#would be nice if my sibs would do the same#oh well at least it wasn’t on Christmas Day#I’m so tired#next year I’ll plan on little breaks#and then 27th I was so tired bc it was last day of all fam gathering#and I was making breastfeeding snacks for pregnant sister#then other sisters were like can I have some#and I knew they wouldn’t let up and I was getting so fucking frustrated#because NO#I literally told you all I was making GER snacks#please for the love of fuck#if you WANTED me to make you snacks#TELL ME BEFORE I BUY THE STUFF#then it was back to migraine yesterday#which now I think about it#again hardly surprising#bc I was spending so much of the day before holding it together and trying not to be frustrated#so my brain was just done#so now I’m on a two day migraine#next year I will do breaks and I will also just let myself get rid of the frustration when I need to#instead of holding it in so it doesn’t set people off
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(I keep telling myself that I won't post it and then I don't and then I feel annoyed with myself but I tell myself that I shouldn't post it and then I don't and-)
#thinking about the times I used to stay inside for so long as a kid that I forgot how to act in public#what do you mean I can't play with the football in the store to test it out?#how does a crosswalk work again? do i have to wait until a car shows up?#weird times#or the first few weeks in school after summer break when you suddenly can't simply stand up and walk out when you're bored?#i don't know why I got this way#maybe lack of human interaction#no siblings few friends and parents who knew they could leave me alone and I wouldn't do anything stupid#just stare out the window stare at my wall play video games play with my dolls#always just there but also not quite#anyway#point is:#i haven't posted on this blog for so long and it feels like those times when I was younger and stayed inside my home for weeks at a time#i've been meaning to make a post that's been weighing on my heart for quite a while but idk how to word it without it sounding blame-y#not towards you guys#but-#i'm probably not making any sense#there's an odd feeling i've had towards bc and the fandom (generally and at shows not on here y'alls are sweethearts) since the end of last-#-year#and it only intensified in march when i went to the shows#I can't put it into words but alongside my hospital stay in july it has been very isolating and alienating#and it feels even weirder pretending like i don't have this feeling nagging me every time I reblog something and-#-go on with business as usual#....#the weather has been very grey in Germany and my end of year depression has been hitting hard#maybe I should sleep it off#but I've been trying to do that for almost a year now
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Currently working on my artfight profile, im mostly going to upload my own OCs but I saw that AU versions of pre existing characters were allowed as well. Would anyone here want me to add my selkie silver and malleus designs to my profile?
#mica rambles#twst#twisted wonderland#selkie au#if you followed me for that and thought i forgot about it. sike i actually think about them everyday#i thought it could be fun since a lot of people seemed to enjoy them last year#and maybeee some of you guys might have been interested in drawing them yourself. perhaps 👀#now would be your perfect chance AND i would 100% go insane in your comments if you were to make something👍#idk food for thought#ill probs share my profile later tonight after finally uploading my OCs so keep your eyes peeled for that!
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