#frank can punch my ticket any day

[frnkiebby]

mr train conductor frnkie~🎃

[extremelyblackandwhite]

new hell | lee bodecker

PAIRING: lee bodecker x reader

WARNINGS: age gap (reader is younger than lee)

A/N: angst is back and disruptive ! enjoy!!!

previous part / next part

The receptionist couldn’t care less. She looked at the young adult through the thin frame of her glasses, slowly closing her crossword book to give him a tight, fake polite smile. Jamie’s blood boiled, this sense that he was worth more respect than he was receiving getting to his head. Yet, no one really cared about him or who he was; he was not the town favourite after all, he barely visited and when he did they knew him as Frank’s boy. Nevertheless, here she was, a receptionist who wasn’t as educated as he was, not engaged to someone from a powerful, not giving him the respect he deserved when he was just trying to help his sister.

     - The Sheriff isn’t receiving anyone. - she spoke, before going back to his crossword book. 

     - I know he’s in. I have to see him, right now. I’m not leaving ...

    - Stay the fuck away from my sister.

     - Listen, sweetheart, he’s not gonna talk to you. - she interrupted him, looking up from her book. - You can sit there for all I care.

     - No. I know he’s here, go get him, do somethin ...

     - What is this all about? - Lee had exited his office once he heard the noise coming from outside. He thought it would be some low life upset with a parking or speeding ticket trying to give him his two cents on why they should have their ticket removed. He was used to that; what he wasn’t expecting was to see was Y/N’s brother fighting with his receptionist. 

Jamie stared the sheriff down who had come out his office with his hands on his hips, head slightly tilted up. It annoyed him, it annoyed how he acted as if he ran this town. Lee motioned with his head towards his office, turning his back to him to go back inside. Jamie followed him into his office which was smaller than he thought. He thought a man of his ego would have a bigger office but it was rather small, lightly dimmed with little to no personal items. However, he did notice a photo of his sister on his desk. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. 

    - Why are you running a mess all over my station, huh? - he sat behind his desk. - Is your sister alright?

    - I want you to stay away from my sister.

    - Excuse me? - Lee cocked an eyebrow at his lover’s brother.

    - My sister doesn’t need a low life, small town man keeping her back.

    - That’s a lot of words to describe one person, Jamie. - Lee leaned against his chair. - Why don’t you get back to your bride and the pile of money awaiting you when you marry her?

    - You know being a corrupt sheriff is one thing but abusing my innocent sister is another thing.

    - I will not have you come here accusing me of such thing. - he punched the desk, getting up from his chair. - Now you don’t come here in my station to accuse me of doing anything your sister did not consent to. I would never touch or even speak to your sister if she told me not to and maybe you should reconsider this stupid notion that your sister is some helpless little princess when she’s the one who took care of your pops until you decided to come visit.

    - I will tell the whole town you took advantage of her if you ever speak to her again.

    - And they will not believe you.

    - Sure because they’ll rather listen to a hillbilly over someone who actually has left this town for more than a day?

    - Out of respect for your sister, I am going to ask you to leave my office right now!

    - If you think my sister will stick with someone like … - he looked him up as down as if he were vermin. - You … then you are very, very wrong. She is gonna wake up one day and realise you’re not good enough. It’s just a matter of time.

Lee wanted to kill him, he wanted to grab his shotgun and empty all those bullets in his head but he couldn’t. If any other person had even dared say or think those things about them, he’d have them begging on their knees; however, this was Jamie, her brother and no matter how much she complained about him or rolled her eyes about his words, she still cared about him and would not take kindly to him harming her brother. He sat against his chest, chest rumbling in anger as he stared at her photo, an action which managed to soften his expression. How dare him? How dare he even suggest he would harm Y/N. He would rather die than even think about the matter, the sheer thought sickened him. He knew those were empty threats, at least he hoped they were.

Y/N, on the other hand, was pacing around in her room. She could burst with happiness and could also weaken with sadness; yet she felt as if her life was being written in front of her in short black ink and she couldn’t wait to watch it. Sure, perhaps she’d had to repaint the walls of her bedroom, maybe change her lacy childhood duvet and various stuffed toys still laying in her bed but this was a nice foundation to a regular life. Nothing short of a traditional path. Nevertheless, she could still hear her mother nagging from the other side of her bedroom door. Y/N looked around before slipping off her low heel black kitten heels before pulling the window open. She’d learn to climb in and out the window throw a rather thick pipe which crawled the side of her house; it was merely holding it and them loosening her grip to go down. She threw her shoes out the window, before going down the pipe, her socks falling onto the wet grass. However, she didn’t mind, she merely ran off the premise, holding the shoes in her hand as she climbed up the bus which would take her to the dinner. She leant her head against the window, putting back her shoes before she stepped outside the bus and into the gravel that led to the diner.

Everything was different, an air of sadness was still lingering around the tables and patients slowly drinking heir strong coffees, the only noises being the sizzling from the kitchen and cutlery hitting porcelain. When her father was alive and younger, the dinner was always filled with music, old records playing from the jukebox, or his jokes and constant chattering. Everyone was just missing him, perhaps she wasn’t as sensitive as her mother said, perhaps she was so upset because he’d been a big part of her life, because he’d been there and she had too. Dorothy spotted her from the corner, walking up with her favourite mug with a chamomile tea bag yet she couldn’t help but feel a bit nauseous at the greasy smell coming from the kitchen.

    - You should be home resting, darling. - Dorothy led her into a private booth, sitting her down towards the window. - How are you?

    - I got the diner. - she smiled. - The house and a stupid amount of money.

    - Of course you’d get the diner. - Dorothy playfully hit the side of her face. - Your dad always said you could make this pretty.

    - Yeah. - she took a sip of the sip, that nauseous feeling getting worse.

    - You know I’m gonna ask about Bodecker, right? You two were awfully close during the funeral.

    - Dora … - Y/N sighed. - Lee is a good man, he’s good to me.

    - So is a nice man in New York. - she rose her eyebrow.

    - Dora, he’s moving in with me.

    - To New York?

    - To daddy’s house. - she put down the mug, a hand in her stomach to settle the smells of grease. - He knew about me and Lee. He’s good to me.

Dorothy sighed. She was stubborn alright, just like her dad but she understood there as no way to convince this girl to get rid of the damn sheriff. She patted Y/N’s hand, offering her a smile.

    - Bring Lee for dinner here with me and Frank.

    - You won’t call him a fat bastard?

    - I’ll try not to.

The two dabbled in a bit of chatter, mostly Dorothy discussing Lee getting into her home and how they weren’t married yet. She could bet the last thing the recently divorced Lee Bodecker wanted to do was to marry her, specially after the two had a turbulent relationship to start with. She climbed out the diner a few hours later once the grease smell started to become particularly nauseating. She really did not remember the grease smell being this triggering to her yet as she stepped outside, the same nauseous feeling persisted.

She climbed up to the bus, searching her purse for loose change which she did found along a pack of her pills laying near it. She bite the inside of her lip, looking around and stalling which annoyed the people behind her.

    - Are you gonna make your mind, sweets?

    - Could I get a ticket for the pharmacy?

[star-six7]

And You’re Someone Who Knows Someone (Who Was Someone I Once Knew)

Mikey Way x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word Count: 1909

Request: Could I request anything with Mikey? Thanks :)

A/N: I am so sorry about the delay on this one! I’ve been drowning in school and work at the moment, but I’m still thinking of you guys, I promise! Also, catch that title reference ;)

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction. No part of this story is meant to be libel, slander, or in any way derogatory towards any character’s real life counterpart. I’m not delusional; I know that these characters are simply based off of a public persona and may not actually resemble the people behind those personas. Any additional characters that you do not recognize are entirely fictional, unless otherwise stated. And finally, if you got here by Googling yourself, whatever happens next is 100% on you.

You rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet anxiously as you stood in front of the chain-link fence. Finally, a large guy with a security shirt came into your view, calling out your name.

“Hey,” he grinned when you nodded. “It’s good to finally meet you in person; Gerard’s been chattering nonstop about you for the past few days. I’m Worm, I’m in charge of most of the security for the band; I’ll take you back now.”

“Okay,” you nodded, putting away the backstage pass that Gerard had mailed to you. You were slightly taken aback by the professional quality of the whole set-up; the last time you had been to a My Chem show, it had been in a much less… respectable venue, and there wasn’t even the faintest idea of guards and backstage passes. Something told you that the security probably wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the last few years...

While you were lost in your thoughts, Worm had led you through a back parking lot filled with big box trucks and busy stage crews right to the band’s bus. He punched in a key-code, and grandly guided you up the steps. 

“Gerard, your esteemed guest has arrived!” He winked good-naturedly at you, and then turned to leave. “Soundcheck at four, please attempt to think about being there in some semblance of a timely manner.” He rolled his eyes as he exited the bus.

Gerard, of course, didn’t hear him because he was too busy leaping off the couch so he could tackle you. “You’re here!”

“Yes,” you grinned, attempting to pat his back and keep your balance at the same time. “It’s been so long, Gerard, how are you?”

He let go and returned your smile. “I’ve been great, really great. A lot better than I was the last time we met. Um,” he ran a hand through his close-cropped white hair, and glanced sideways at Mikey. “You remember Ray and Mikey, right?”

“Of course,” you grinned at them. “How could I not? I did go to all of your shows for a year.”

“Well, uh, Otter ended up leaving after we finished recording Three Cheers, so that’s Bob- say hi, Bob- oh! And you remember Pencey, right? Well, Frankie’s with us now, and I think that about covers it.”

You waved at them. You remembered Frank’s wild nature, not surprised that he fit in so well with My Chem, and Bob seemed nice enough. All of the guys seemed genuinely excited about your presence, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that there were some conspiratorial glances and nudges being thrown around by everyone except Mikey. In fact, the bassist in question was doing his best to look artfully bored from his place on the couch and ignore Frank’s not-so-subtle shoving. Still, you felt a certain tug towards him, even after all these years.

“C’mon!” Gerard said brightly, snapping you out of your observations. “Let me give you the grand tour.”

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a whirlwind of wandering the bus park and venue with Gerard, watching the guys soundcheck from the nosebleeds, and dining on pizza in the green room. You were so glad you had been able to make it to a show; Gerard was one of your closest friends, and it had been a couple of years since you had last met. 

Your friendship had started during your senior year of college- you had both had an internship in the same building, albeit for different companies and lines of work. Since then, you had bonded over several of your shared interests and kept in touch, leading you to go to several of the first My Chem shows, and by extension, meet Ray, Frank, and Mikey. Though your busy work life and their crazy tour schedule had caused you to drift apart, it felt like no time had passed at all as you watched Ray swat Frank for stealing his pizza while Gerard and Mikey laughed uncontrollably at Ray’s exasperated expression.

Soon enough, it was time for them to go onstage, which became evident when the venue’s stage manager knocked on the door to lead them to the curtain. Worm reappeared and guided you to the seat marked on your ticket from Gerard- a center stage view from the very first row of actual seats behind the pit. Clearly, Gerard had wanted to make sure you didn’t miss a single part of the show.

The lights dimmed, and you watched two crewmembers dressed as doctors and nurses wheel out a covered gurney while the sound of a heartbeat monitor played over the sound system. You were unsurprised when Gerard leapt out of the gurney moments later, kicking off the show. 

You already knew the guys were awe-inspiring onstage- you had known it from the way you felt the first time you saw them live- but it was clear to see that over the past few years, they had taken it to a whole new level. They had each grown into their stage personas and their identity as a band, but your eyes kept drifting to one member in particular...

You had noticed it earlier today, but Mikey had definitely evolved since the last time you had met. He seemed much more sure of himself onstage; instead of retreating to the space almost directly behind Gerard, he often came up to the edge of the stage or interacted with his bandmates. He also seemed more relaxed off stage, easily interacting with fans outside of the venue and joking before the show with the rest of the band and crew. You couldn’t deny that he was a far cry from Gerard’s shy, slightly awkward, little brother you had met all those years ago.

Before you knew it, the show was over, and Frank was insisting on heading to a nearby diner for several plates of french fries and milkshakes. You glanced at your watch and balked. “Shit… I’m sorry guys, it’s almost 1am and I didn’t get a hotel. I think I’m going to start the drive home.”

Frank and Gerard glanced at each other, and then they rushed to stop you. “Don’t be ridiculous, come with us and you can just stay on the bus!”

“I don’t want to take up anyone’s space…” You hemmed.

“It’s fine!” Ray insisted. “Don’t even worry about it, you can sleep in the back lounge, it’s honestly very nice.”

Though you were suspicious of their enthusiasm, you accepted their offer with a shrug and followed the rest of the group in their search for a 24 hour diner.

…

You sighed as you took off your shoes and settled into the bed in the back lounge. You were exhausted; the long day of walking, dancing, and socializing was starting to catch up to you. However, just as soon as you had stretched out across the soft surface and closed you, you were startled upright by the sound of yelling coming from the bunk area just behind the lounge door. Confused, you opened it to see Mikey, looking irate, and Frank looking guilty yet slightly pleased with himself.

“What the actual fuck, Frank?” Mikey glared accusingly at him.

“I’m really sorry Mikey, it was-”

“An accident? Frank, we all know you’re clumsy as fuck, but there’s absolutely no way someone pours an entire liter of soda directly on my bunk on accident!”

“Oh shit,” you said, stepping out of the doorway to assess the damage.

Mikey glanced at you. “Sorry if I woke you up, Frank’s just being ridiculous.”

“Mikey, I don’t think you’re gonna be able to sleep here tonight,” Ray said, gently prodding Mikey’s mattress. “It’s pretty soaked.”

“Oh, well, of course,” Mikey sighed irritably. “Well, couch it is, then.”

“Actually,” Gerard piped up, oh-so-helpfully, “there’s plenty of space in the back lounge.” He turned to you. “If you’re okay with sharing, that is.”

You stared at him, trying to figure out his plan here. You were pretty sure that if he could bat his eyelashes right now, he would. Ignoring your suddenly accelerating heart rate, you turned back to Mikey.

“I don’t mind sharing, it is your bus after all,” you shrugged, glancing at Mikey. “Gerard’s right, there’s plenty of room.”

The other three looked extremely pleased with themselves.

“Thank you,” he told you, before turning to glare at Frank and head into the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later, you were in the back lounge again, somewhat awkwardly laying on one half of the double bed as you waited for Mikey to turn off the lights and get settled.

He looked abashed as he stretched out on the opposite side of the bed. “I’m sorry for snapping back there,” he said. “It’s just… the guys have been making fun of me for the past few days and it gets old fast.”

“I understand, it's okay,” you nodded, as you watched his silhouette shift closer to you in the dark.

He gave you a considering look. “It’s just… I told them something personal and they couldn’t just leave it alone. Honestly, this whole weekend has been sort of a set up.”

You rolled over to look at him properly as everything began to fall into place. Frank and Gerard’s insistence that you should stay the night, Frank’s “clumsiness,” Gerard’s helpful suggestions, the general feeling that something was going on behind the scenes…

“Oh,” you said, hoping he would confirm your suspicions, “what do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that,” for a moment, it seemed like the endearing shyness of the Mikey you had met in Gerard’s basement was back. “Okay, like.” He took a steadying breath. “I’m working on building my confidence, so I’m gonna tell you this and hope for this best. I’ve… had a thing for you for a while, if it wasn’t already obvious. I mean, at first, it was just a crush… but as the years went on, and I- we grew up, I’ve realized it’s more than that. I know I’m still working on being stable, but I want to take that chance with you. I mean, if you feel the same way of course.” He paused. “Wow, that was a weight off my chest.”

You stared at him, opening your mouth to speak and then closing it as you parsed your thoughts. You had always felt a certain fondness for Mikey, and the past day had shown you that, over the course of a few years, it had grown into something more than friendship. You couldn’t deny that you also had feelings towards Mikey, and that seeing his new-found confidence and sense of self had only solidified them.

“Um, you’re not like, pissed, are you?”

His timid question snapped you out of your reverie.

“No, of course not!” you rushed to assure him. “I… I feel the same way, Mikey. I think I always have.”

“Oh!” He couldn’t keep the small grin off of his face. “So then I guess you don’t mind if I do this then, right?” He moved in closer to you and wrapped his free arm around your waist, effectively pulling you into his chest.

You smiled, warm with the feeling that things had finally fallen into place. “Good guess,” you sighed, already beginning to fall asleep.

“One more thing,” Mikey paused.

“Hm?”

“Under no circumstances can the others know that their evil plan worked.” “Deal.”

[grimelords]

So since the last time I posted one of these the entire world has changed dramatically and hopefully 4 hours of music will tide you over in quarantine for a bit longer. Strangely I’ve been busier than ever, and what started as a personal challenge to listen to a new album every day in February turned into me listening to 116 new albums in March and 124 in April. I’ve got a stacked google doc full of star ratings and dates now and it’s really been a lot of fun, I highly recommend trying it yourself. This is my March playlist, because I accidentally took a month off, and I’m thinking of either switching these playlists to weekly to make them a little more digestible or just dropping them whenever. Who knows. Let me know what you think and drop album recommendations in the comments please.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

If you’d like to receive these playlists in a more digestible email format, please subscribe to my tinyletter here: http://tinyletter.com/grimelords

On A Slow Boat To China - Bing Crosby & Peggy Lee: Ok first off it’s amazing this song isn’t more racist. I don't remember now how or why I came across this. I think I was just thinking about crooners and how as a genre it's now existed in common popularity as a nostalgic idyll of a mytholigised past far longer than it was ever actually popular which is interesting. The origin of this song, according to wikipedia, is also one of the most 40s ideas I've ever read: "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. The idea being that a "slow boat to China" was the longest trip one could imagine. Loesser moved the phrase to a more romantic setting, yet it eventually entered general parlance to mean anything that takes an extremely long time".

Fight Night - Migos: I saw that Offset had some new show on Quibi the extremely fake sounding streaming service and I thought "how did Migos get so world conqueringly large that they get to make 10 minute shows nobody will watch for a $2 billion venture capital funded app that will never make any money?" They seem to have this massive reputation without having much to back it up. The last thing I remember everyone talking about was how Culure II was two hours long in order to game streaming numbers and was simply not good. They seemed to have sort of settled into making background music for scrolling instagram. But then I remembered Fight Night and I thought: "oh wait, that's right, Migos are fucking great". Where their other big hits like Bad And Boujee and Walk It Talk It have this sort of laid back vibe where they've comfortably nailed the formula and relax onto it, Fight Night commands your attention. StackboyTwan killed the beat - it has this propulsive momentum where it feels like it's constantly ramping up, moving up from the sidesick and bassline in the verse, up to the claps on the beat, and the big gang chants on the offbeat once the full instrumentation kicks in - then it just goes around and around and around with the constant bassline the whole tim. It's a perfect all-rise production because it never actually explodes, it's all building tension held down by an unchanging bassline.

Do It Puritan! - El Hombre Trajeado & Sue Tompkins: I am extremely delighted to announce that Sue Tompkins of one of my all time favourite single album bands Life Without Buildings has broken a nearly 20 year musical hiatus to appear on this song by El Hombre Trajeado. It is so nice to hear how her voice has changed and her approach has stayed the same. Her style is so unique and so good and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

5 8 6 - New Order: Before 'the incident' I had tickets to see New Order at the end of March and so I embarked on a big listen through of their discography, which has now unfortunately made it feel even worse that live music is cancelled indefinitely.

Oom Sha La La - Haley Heynderickx: First of all I love songs where they talking about how they're writing a song halfway through. And I love songs that seem like a pretty normal singer songwriter indie thing where someone just starts screaming near the end. I love this song. A great staring at the wall and absolutely losing your mind because you haven't done anything with your whole life anthem.

Elektrobank - The Chemical Brothers: Can you believe I've never listening to a full Chemical Brothers album before this month? Can you believe big beat ever went our of style? It feels insane that we ever swapped this sort of energy for the beige algorithm of EDM. I think there's a real triumph in this album, and in this track especially of replicating the live feeling in studio. Giving it this much space to grow and change and get very hairy near the end is amazing, it feels like it was just recorded live.

My Mind's A Ship (That's Going Down) - Katie Pruitt: It feels very rare to me that this sort of extremely smooth Nashville prduction actually makes a song better. It has a habit of strangling the life out of a song and making it blend into a boring paste of soundalikes, but with Katie Pruitt it works amazingly. Her songwriting is so distinct and clear and her voice, especially near the end where it punches hole in the sky, is so strong and so her own that it doesn't need anything else.

Water - Ohmme: "What if Tegan And Sara were a noise band instead?" is a question I didn't know I needed an answer to. I love any band that has the guts to write songs like this that sound like pop from an alternate history, so off kilter and odd and noisy but with this undeniable pop heart that the duo vocals make sound like schoolyard clapping chants remixed by Lightning Bolt.

Lions, Tigers and Bears - SLIFT: A friend put me on to Slift and described them as French King Gizz and really, I'm inclined to agree. This is the traditional long last song at the end of their new album, and as usual I am advocating that every song should be the long last song at the end of the album. I love this style of jam where everyone else goes to space but the rhythm section just digs in and works hard as fuck for ten minutes. Then the whole last 3 minutes of the song are just fat drone riffs. This song's got everything.

The Pines - 070 Shake: This 070 Shake album is unbeleivably good and it warms my heart to see the dark energy of The Pines live on through another century in yet another permutation. I have more to say about it later in the Jackson C Frank version coming up but it feels like this 070 Shake album kind of came and went but I implore you to listen, it’s an aoty contender for sure.

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On - Funkadelic: If you can stop thinking about the intro, which I certainly can’t (Hey lady won’t you be my dog and I’ll be your tree and you can pee on me.) there is so much goodness in this song. For a while now I’ve been thinking about how, for lack of a better word, ‘positive’ music is consistently underrated in the critical canon. Dance music, disco and funk especially are derided as empty sugar music, while every cookie cutter metal band absolutely demands to be taken seriously. In dance music this manifests as genres like tech house sucking all the fun and individuality out of music until it’s just an endless parade of producers working to a schematic of the barest essentials. It feels like you can’t have fun and be taken seriously at the same time, which feels like an obvious contradiction but shouldn’t be!

Spoils - Dry Cleaning: Dry Cleaning are my Lock Of The Month Band To Watch In The Future Because They’re Gonna Go Off. They have such a great sound and I’m desperate for an album because I just need more. This song absolutely knocked me down when I first heard it. I love any band where it sounds like the singer has just wandered in while the rest of them were rehearsing. There’s a very good talking-songs movement happening in the UK right now between these guys, Do Nothing and Fontaines D.C and i’m excited to see where it progresses. I might put together a playlist a little later to show you what I mean.

As - Stevie Wonder: I finally listened to Songs In The Key Of Life this month, which is an experience I would recommend to everyone. This shit goes for 21 songs over 105 minutes and absolute bangs the whole way. The original release of this album was a double LP plus a 7", which is yet another reason I am grateful for streaming that I don't have to buy a damn box set to hear this thing.

Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine: I am working on a very niche playlist called Songs Where The Guitar Amp Accidentally Picks Up A Nearby Radio Station For A Couple Of Seconds and it's only 3 songs so far. A Man A Plan A Canal Panama by The Fall Of Troy, Melody 4 by Tera Melos and Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine. In every single one of those songs it feels like a critical component even though it's just an accident that's been left in because it sounds good. Here it's the perfect ending as the rage dies down and the commercial world fades back in. Anyway, my other question about this song is about the great Michael Moore directed video where they famously shut down Wall Street for an afternoon. There's a shot of a guy for a second holding a sign that says Donald Trump For President in 1999. Which is odd but not out of the question, he's been famous for a long time and there's always been freaks. My question is why the fuck did he have that sign that day? Was he amongst the Rage Against The Machine Fans that showed up? A counter protestor? Was he, perhaps most chillingly of all, just walking idly around Wall Street with his Donald Trump For President sign like usual and stumbled upon this whole hoo-haa accidentally?

Applause (Purity Ring Remix) - Lady Gaga: Did you fucking know that Purity Ring did a remix of Applause? If there’s something I’d love to know more about and it’s Purity Ring’s forays into pop production. After their first album they did some production for rappers like Danny Brown in the great track 25 Bucks, which is a good fit really - their sound is witch house with the tempo pushed back up, witch house of course just being chopped and screwed reinvented by tumblr users. So it’s a natural fit to take that new perspective back into the world of hip hop. They also did this fantastic remix of Applause after their first album. Then, after their second album they produced 3 songs for Katy Perry’s Witness album, and one Katy Perry song for a Final Fantasy mobile game soundtrack (?) and feel like the long silence and delay between their second and third albums is because of more behind the scenes pop production work - but if that’s true, where is it? Is it, as I suspect, part of my own personal Pepe Silvia, Katy Perry’s scrapped 2019 album that has vanished into thin air? Or is it part of Chromatica? I think Purity Ring have solidified an interesting place in pop, paving the way for Billie Eilish and Kim Petras’ dark anti-pop and so i’m excited to see where they go after this new album now that they’re the architects of the new wave.

React/Revolt - Drahla: The smartest thing you can do is add a saxophone to your band. The whole first half of this song could go for 20 minutes of growling screaming saxophone post-punk and I wouldn't mind. Then when the second half of the song kicks in it's fantastic in the way this whole Drahla album is: it's tight and sprawling post-punk at the same time with a complicated structure that seems to just pile onto itself instead of ever circling back.

And I Was Like - Porridge Radio: I'm seemingly having a real thing this month for songs that open with a bizzare acapella chant. Between this and the Funkadelic one it's a genre I'm very interested in hearing more of. Isaac Newton was a virgin and it's important to recognise that. The thing I love about this song is how it's in 3 distinc sections: Isaac Newton was a virgin, she's a birthday girl in a birthday world, and mum no please it's grunge, and they all feel like the concentrated energy of a 14 year old's thoughts. She sounds like she's almost crying when she sings 'she's a birthday girl in a birthday world'. The concentrated confusing teenaged energy of this song is just overwhelming.

Dirty Mattresses - Mama's Broke: So much of contemporary 'traditional folk' either exists as pure nostalgia music or as music that's trying too hard to be 'authentic' and evoke a mythology of a bygone time, but Mama's Broke manage to make it feel new and modern but honest and  authentic at the same time. The super close harmonies and modern approach remind me of House And Land who I also love, but the songwriting is in another class entirely.

Building A House - CHOPCHOP: I don't know if you've ever seen Bad Boy Bubby but CHOPCHOP feels a little like the band that he ends up joining at the end. A musical ensemble built to enable the will of a very strange man. I think the band is from the UK and I'm not sure where the singer is from, but he has this incredible deeply accented voice that brings such a gravity to everything he sings in the way that anyone speaking english as a second language accidentally brings new weight to common turns of phrase.

Universal Soldier - Jay Electronica: It feels fitting, looking back, that Jay Electronica finally released his album right before the world ended. It was literally now or never. Some how Jay-Z is the breakout star of this album for me. He's got some of his best verses in years on here and he's a great opposition to Electronica's flow when they trade verses. I would also, as an aside, like to know the origin of the kids cheering sample throughout this, because it's the same one from AM//Radio by Earl Sweatshirt and Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish. So what's that about.

Sticky Hulks - Thee Oh Sees: I've been very slowly getting into Oh Sees and I love them a lot so far. Their unweildy, huge discography spread across a lot of variations of the same name makes digging into them very rewarding as well. There's a great line on their wiki detailing all the times they've changed their name that goes: Orinoka Crash Suite (1997–2003), OCS (2003–2005, 2017), Orange County Sound (2005), The Ohsees (2006), The Oh Sees (2006–2008), Thee Oh Sees (2008–2017), Oh Sees (2017–2019) Osees (2019) to give you some idea of what we're working with here. Basically it's just everything you could want from a pychedelic band like this: a history and discography as shaggy as the songs themselves.

Knife On The Platter - BODEGA: In reading about Bodega I learned that they don't have a drummer in the traditional sense. They have someone credited as a 'stand up percussionist', and in listening back I realised that's they key to the groove in their music. He's not playing a kit he's just slamming at a tom and a snare on a rack, while one of the singers plays hi-hat here and there. So all the drumming has this barebones caveman feel to it and I absolutely love it. The band feels a lot like The Fashion, and that whole mid-2000s dance-punk movement that I've been desparate to come back so naturally I love it a lot.

Against Gravity - Horse Lords: Horse Lords are one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. Somewhere between a more analogue Battles and Laddio Bolocko, they make a kind of churning math-jazz that sounds like huge intersecting squares of rhythm slowly overlapping. It feels like there's an infinite depth in these songs, you can listen and focus on a single instrument and see it shifting in and out of place with everyone else, before you lose it again and it retreats back into the swirling mass.

Plain To See Plainsman - Colter Wall: I've been listening to this Colter Wall album a lot, and it's really beginning to rank among my all time favourites. I grew up around the flattest place in the southern hemisphere, so I love the plains and it's very nice to have a cowboy song I can relate to like that.

The Nail - Sarah Shook & The Disarmers: Sarah Shook has so much character in her voice I completely love it. She is also a fantastic songwriter that manages to make outlaw country punk that sounds authentic and doesn't have the rockabilly posturing that a lot of the genre suffers from.

Inner Reaches 慾望的暗角二 - Gong Gong Gong 工工工: The best thing about Gong Gong Gong is you can listen to this whole song before you realise they don't have a drummer. They're a guitar and bass duo that play and sing with such a layered rhythmic intensity between the two of them that they really don't need one. A drummer would just clutter the space already taken up by their ferocious rhythm.

Country Pie - Bob Dylan: I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan's dumb songs. He has a lot where if it's the first song you ever heard from him you would be mad at whoever told you he was the greatest songwriter to ever live for trying to trick you like this. What I especially love about this song is how abruptly it ends, like dad just came home and everyone panicked cause they're know they're not supposed to be staying up that late.

You Did It Yourself - Arthur Russell: It seems hard to believe that I've only just found out about Arthur Russel. He seems to be a mainstay of Music Guy lists and somehow I've only heard of him this month. I've been obsessing over the Iowa Dream album, which is a compilation of a lot of different (mostly extremely high quality) demos from the late 70s to mid 80s and what really shines through other than the singular strength of his songwriting is how readily and easily he bends from country style folk to romantic piano ballads, to groovy post-punk like this. What I love so much about this song is it's a great lesson in songwriting: sometimes a song can just be a vague review of a middling movie and still have emotional resonance. Incredible. There's a great NPR article about Arthur Russel and the process of assembling half-takes and demos into complete recordings that you should read if you're interested. https://www.npr.org/2019/11/20/779721417/which-arthur-russell-are-we-getting-on-iowa-dream

The Dogs Outside Are Barking - Arthur Russell: I love this song because it's such a perfect distillation of a teenaged moment: trying to find a moment alone with someone when you have no freedom at all to create one. The song cycles through potential situations but leaves the problem unresolved, existing in the moment of nervous romantic tension preceding an unasked question and it's just beautiful.

Men For Miles - Ought: I love the vocal melody in the verse here so much. Spiking up unnaturally at the end of the lines like a nervous and strange version of The Strokes. Even the way he cramps his words in in the chorus is so good, switching registers randomly like he's impersonating someone else.

Mister Soweto - Lizzy Mercier Descloux: https://pitchfork.com/features/from-the-pitchfork-review/9828-lizzy-mercier-descloux-behind-the-muse/ Pitchfork has a great article about Lizzy Mercier Descloux detailing how she is continually undervalued and underappreciated. I found her though my Discover Weekly and became immediately obsessed with this album - a perfect mix of off-kilter 80s bass and brass that is so colourful and seems to move in a million directions at once like the songs can't even catch up with themselves sometimes. I'm excited to dig into her discography more and try to understand her more because she has a truly unique approach that I can't get enough of.

Sweden - Marilyn Crispell: I've been looking for a while for other pianists of Cecil Taylor's calibre, rare type that it is and I am so glad to have finally found out about Marilyn Crispell. She plays free jazz like Taylor, but in much less percussive and disonnant style. There's a New York Times quote that seems to follow her that says "Hearing Marilyn Crispell play solo piano is like monitoring an active volcano. She is one of a very few pianists who rise to the challenge of free jazz." and it's really very apt. She will move with seemingly no warning at all from mediative, colourful stokes to a mad descent unto uncertainty and beyond, then back again without a moments hesitation. Her music moves like a dream, linking a stream of unlinked images with an ease that only seems incongruous on reflection.

Twins - Gem Club: I have loved this song for a very long time and I come back to it over and over and appreciate it anew. What I appreciate about on listening to it this time is the strangeness of it's structure, following up the verse with an instrumental break, and then a long instrumental intro to the chorus gives it so much space to spread out and breathe, giving the beautiful gravity of the song even more weight. Then after the chorus it moves straight to a bridge and then the intro and first verse again. It's a fantastic song that makes it's small parts so large, where another songwriter or another producer would pare them down.

Grand Central - Paul Cauthen: Something I've learned in listening to a lot of cowboy music is that the number one thing that cowboys hate and fear is getting hanged. They hate it worse than cats hate getting sprayed with water. I found out about Paul Cauthen combing through Colter Wall's similar artists looking for more of this brand of new old fashioned country and I really found it here. Paul Cauthen comes from four generations of preachers and left the church to pursue country music instead, which feels like an extremely old fashioned position to be in here in 2020 but I guess lots of people in Texas still live like that, and thank god they do or we wouldn't have Paul Cauthen's big mournful Elvis voice to sing us songs about the railway.

Serafina - BAMBARA: I love this sort of spoken word leather jacket rock and roll. It's so extremely Cool in an old fashioned way. Like a more rock and roll version of Enablers.

So 4 Real - The Hecks: I love love love this song that sounds like a sped up Prince demo. The strange thinness of the mix and the way the vocals are buried just makes it sound so strange and great, like it was put together on some ancient 4 track recorder that can't handle the pure energy of the song.

In The Pines (Version 2) - Jackson C. Frank: There's a very good 3 hour compilation of Jackson C. Frank recordings that came out a few years called Remastered And Unreleased that I listened through the other day. It's just magnificent. This version of In The Pines is one of my favourite I've ever heard, the mournful vocals coupled with his churning rhythm guitar really brings out the darkness of it in a way I've never heard.

(Tumble) In The Wind (Version 1) - Jackson C. Frank: Another favourite from this compilation that is slightly hard to listen to. I don't know if there's a date on it but I'd guess this was recorded near the end of his life. It is so beautiful, but you can hear in his voice and breathing that he's unwell. In Horseshoe Crabs by Hopalong she sings a story from his perspective this song really seems to fit in the second half of that. "Woke from the dream and I was old / Staring at the ass crack of dawn / Walked these streets up and down / Looking for Paul Simon / All I found was myself, lost in time / I tried singing my songs / But I lost my mind"

Sludge - Squid: I'm thinking of putting together a playlist of all the great Black Midi-adjacent bands I've found out about recently and Squid is at the top of the list. This new breed of art-punk is so fantastic and goes in a million different directions. I'm just so excited it exists.

Straight Shot - Quelle Chris: I love this song and Guns is a phenomenal album but there’s one thing bothering me. The ‘who are you, what are you’ part at the end sounds so incredibly familiar to me and I can’t figure out why. As far as I can tell it’s not a sample, but googling reveals that the english voice on it is fucking James Acaster the standup comedian. So what’s going on? Quelle Chris himself is less than helpful: “Straight Shot is one of those ideas that reached out to me, we got along and I simply showed it around town. The chorus, poem at the end and basic piano progression literally came to me in two separate dreams”. Who knows. Great song though.

Levitation - Dua Lipa: What I really like about this song is that she says sugarboo. This whole album bangs and Dua is really reaping the benefits of being the only pop star with the guts to release an album while everyone’s in lockdown I also have a half-baked theory about the way this song is almost interpolating Blame It On The Boogie in the ‘moonlight, starlight’ part as a sort of aggressive takeover of Michael Jackson’s cancelled legacy. Which is smart really. The same way Taylor Swift is re-recording her albums, let’s just get The Weeknd in the studio for a couple of days and give the world back it’s bangers.

Another Crashed Car - Nine Inch Nails: I am so glad Trent Reznor put out another two volumes of Ghosts. Ghosts I-IV from 2008 seems to have been the bridge from his Nine Inch Nails work to his film score work, and now that he’s had such success with that it’s nice to hear him writing in this style without telling anyone else’s story again. It’s also interesting for him to go back to this project now that Ghosts I-IV has paid dividends in the form of the sample at the centre of Old Town Road but that’s neither here nor there. It’s hard to pick and individual track from these, because they work so effectively as long form albums and not individual tracks, but I chose this one because I put the album on as background ambient while I was doing some boring data entry at work and this track is the point at which I realised I was going out of my mind with stress from doing the simplest tasks because of Trent’s Damned Chords.

Lilacs - Waxahatchee: This is a perfect song. It makes me want to like, draw charts about it and go through it bar by bar to figure out how she did it. It’s perfectly put together. It feels like she uses every trick in the book and it just comes together flawlessly in 3 minutes. Amazing.

Cool Water - Hank Williams: I decided to properly listen to Hank Williams because his shadow stretches over so much of country music, and while a lot of his music really alienated or bored me, and a lot of his songs feel like they would read as novelty songs today (like Hey Good Looking), this is the song that made me understand why he’s so revered.

In My Bones (feat. Kimbra and Tank And The Bangas) - Jacob Collier: Jacob Collier generally irks me. He makes brain music for redditors that lose their mind when someone shows them chord inversions or odd time signatures. Youtubers whose whole personality is ‘y’all heard Giant Steps?’ But he killed it on this song. It’s great despite him. There’s still a lot of corniness to work through, mostly in the big yuck funky lyrics, but structurally it’s a kaleidoscope and a big chunk of its success I’m putting down to Kimbra and Tank who understand that performance is a bigger part of a song than composition in a way Collier maybe doesn’t yet. He can overload the bassline and stop-start the rhythms as much as he likes but without actual personalities driving it it’ll just sound like a Peter Gabriel midi played at 200%.

Earthquake - Graham Central Station: I learned something wonderful in researching this band. The leader, Larry Graham, who was in Sly And The Family Stone is credited with inventing slap bass. He himself refers to the technique as "thumpin' and pluckin' ".

Quand Les Larmes D’un Ange Font Danser La Neige - Melody’s Echo Chamber: Once again furious that I’ve known of Melody’s Echo Chamber for years but never listened to them until now. I have been missing out. This is a perfect sprawling psychedelic jam punctuated with a bizzare cut-up recording about shitting yourself when you die and being declared brain dead in the vatican. It’s got everything. I had to look up who the drummer was on this song because he’s just nailing it, and it turns out it’s Johan Holmegaard from Dungen which is really a perfect fit.

Murder Most Foul - Bob Dylan: I was thinking the other day about how Bob Dylan is doing in quarantine. The man who hasn’t stopped moving his whole life and who’s been on a never ending tour  since the 70s is now, I assume, just pacing a hole in a hotel carpet somewhere and jabbering to himself. The strangest part of Bob dropping this 17 minute song about JFK out of nowhere is that he hasn’t put out any original music since 2012. So a gigantic song like this is an even bigger surprise. I, already a huge fan of gigantic songs and Bob Dylan, unsurprisingly love it. I love the slow stirring of the instrumentation, like he hired Dirty Three as a backing band and I love that nearly the entire second half is just listing good songs that he knows. It’s a remarkable song and unlike anything i’ve heard before from Dylan or anyone else. It’s interesting to hear Bob Dylan step into being the great chronicler of the 60s like he’s been told he already was his entire life almost 50 years later, finally accepting the fate foisted on him. The other thing I love about this song is the line when he for some reason praises Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting “Greatest magic trick ever under the sun / Perfectly executed, skillfully done”

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

[dreamwritesimagines]

Once A Year 16- Unexpected [Billy Russo x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your patience my loves! Here’s the finale! <3 Your messages make my day, please keep them coming! <3

Summary: Sometimes, fairytales end differently.

Characters: Billy Russo x Reader, Frank Castle x Karen Page

Warning: Explicit language, abuse, violence, dysfunctional relationships, cheating, murder. As usual, I don’t condone any of the messed up stuff happening on the show or in this story.

Word Count: 2862

Due to the linking issue, the previous chapters are on my masterlist<3

You really hated funerals.

Except for this one. This one, somehow, gave you a rush of relief. He was gone, locked away in a coffin, never to leave, never to find you ever again.

“Aldrich Killian was a successful businessman.” The priest said “But more than that, he was compassionate.”

Right. Keep talking about shit you don’t know, buddy.

You kept your eyes on the coffin, barely paying attention to the speech, or the way Carter looked almost frozen, blinking so hard as if trying not to cry.

Closed casket funeral.

Happens when you leave a corpse for almost a month.

Fits you, asshole, you thought, And hey, who could’ve thought those crime shows were right, huh? The killer always attends the funeral.

“He was taken from us by a cruel twist of fate,” the priest said and you tried to keep your expression stable.

Not exactly true, is it Aldrich? I took your life. I ended you. I made you suffer, just like I promised myself back then.

And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Your phone buzzed in your purse but you ignored it, still staring at the coffin.

“In times like these, it may be hard not to lose faith.” he said, “But we all know that those who were responsible for it will face justice.

It had been almost too easy to frame Billy’s ex boss Rawlins. Now it wasn’t only Billy and Frank but also the police were looking for him, and you were almost proud of yourself for coming up with that idea. Two birds with one stone.

Or better yet, two bodies with one bullet.

Ah well.

Carter took a shaky breath beside you, and you stole a look at him, then squeezed his arm in a supporting manner.

“And it is important to keep in mind that Aldrich Carter will be remembered.”

No he won’t be. I made sure of that.

Finally, they started to lower the casket into the grave and you pursed your lips to make sure you weren’t smiling, and soon enough, people started to go back to their cars. You checked your phone, then looked up at Carter.

“Hey,”

“Thank you for coming,” he muttered, “I know it must’ve been hard for you.”

You smiled slightly, “I’m here for you Carter, not him.”

Liar liar…

“To think that the last thing I told him was….” Carter trailed off, then shook his head, “Anyway. I know he was a terrible person, his death doesn’t change or excuse what he did to you.”

You shrugged slightly, then started walking beside him slowly.

“So um- how have you been?”

“I’m good,” you nodded, “I’ve been pretty busy lately.”

“Yeah, I heard you sold the gallery.” Carter said “I thought you liked that place.”

“I did. I do. It’s just-“ you heaved a sigh, “I think a clean slate will be good for me.”

“So what will you do now?”

“Early retirement.” You joked, making him smile, “I don’t know. I’m going away for a while actually. I’m- I think I’ll make a home for myself somewhere.”

“I thought New York was home for you.”

“I don’t really think home is an actual place for me anymore.”

He hmmed, “Billy then?” he asked, “I assume he’s coming with you?”

You nodded again as you reached your car, “Yeah. He is.”

Carter thought for a moment, “Are you happy, Y/N?”

You didn’t even stop to think, your answer was natural and for the first time in your life, sincere.

“Yeah,” you said, “I am. Weird, huh?”

Carter tried to smile, “Nah not weird, just good.”

“And you?”

“Ah, you know,” Carter shrugged, “I’m just…trying to be.”

“Carter,” you told him, “I need you to listen to me. You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met. Don’t let what happened with me keep you back, okay?” you cleared your throat, “It was selfish of me to drag you into that. None of it was your fault, and I betrayed your love and your trust. Don’t let me change you. Please, please don’t make me turn you into….me.”

He thought for a moment, then shot you a mischievous look, “You turned out just fine,” he said, then pulled you closer to hug you tight, and you patted his back before you pulled back.

“I’ll see you around Y/N.”

No you won’t.

“See you around, Charming.” You said softly, then got into your car and drove away.

                                               * * *

The road to airport was almost peaceful. You checked your wristwatch, then looked around and made your way to the café Billy had told you they were in.

“Hey babe,” Billy stood up to peck you on the lips and you winked at him, then sat down next to Karen who sat across Frank and Curtis drummed his fingernails on the table.

“Hey guys.”

“Today is just sad,” Karen mumbled, resting her chin on her fist and you grinned,

“Nah, it’s okay. You guys are among the very few people who will have my new number, it’s not like we will lose contact.”

“It’s beyond me how you’re willing to move away with this asshole.” Frank pointed at Billy, who punched at his arm,

“Don’t make her see sense until it’s too late, brother.”

“I know right? It surprised me too.” You grinned at Billy who shook his head slightly, “Anyways, you guys are totally invited.”

“I’ve never been to Tahiti,” Karen wondered out loud and Curtis nodded,

“Me neither.”

“See? One more reason to visit.”

“I mean I could use a vacation,” Frank stated and you motioned between them,

“There you go,” you said and turned to Curtis, “You too, you know? I can’t handle him alone, I need help.” 

“I know, I know...”

You checked your watch, “Bill.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s almost time.” He downed his coffee, then stood up, Frank and Curtis following him suit. You turned to Karen.

“Plane tickets on me.” You smiled before you pulled her into a hug, and she chuckled in your grip.

“Deal.”

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” Frank said as soon as you pulled back and cocked his head in Billy’s direction “Keep my boy out of danger, he’s an idiot.”

You let out a small laugh and nodded after hugging Curtis, “Don’t upset blondie over there and we have a deal. Oh, speaking of-“ you reached into your bag, “Karen?”

“Hm?”

“Catch.” You tossed her your car keys and she caught them mid-air, then shot you a quizzical look.

“What-?”

“I’ll mail you the papers when I land, consider it my thanks for putting up with my bullshit,” you clicked your tongue, “I may or may not have checked you out while Frank wasn’t looking too.”

“Hey!”

“She’s hot man, and I’m a sucker for pencil skirts!” You defended yourself and Karen gawked at you,

“Y/N, you can’t just give me your car-“

“Yeah I can, I’m rich.” You said, making Billy chuckle and shake his head fondly, “Take care, okay?”  

Billy threw a hand over your shoulder, then pulled you closer as you started walking to the private hangar. You entwined your fingers with his and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“You okay?” he asked, “The funeral….?”

“Yeah,” you said as you heaved a sigh, “I just- um… I don’t feel guilty. Is that normal?”

“Our normal.” Billy said, “Others are expendable, remember?”

You nodded slowly as your phone buzzed in your hand, making you stop walking and you checked the screen.

Dad

You hesitated for a moment, then declined the call and put it back into your bag.

“Skittles?”

You let out a breath, then shook your head,

“Just-“ you swallowed thickly, looking around, “I never want to come back to….this. Any of this. Promise me I won’t have to.”

He seemed to understand what you meant, because he pulled you closer, his hands cradling your head before he kissed you.

“Never.” He whispered, “Let’s go home.”

                               *A MONTH LATER*

You were one hundred percent positive that you would never get tired of Tahiti. The scent of the ocean, the fresh air, the faint sound of waves hitting the shore as you dangled your legs over the wooden porch railing you were sitting on, eyes closed, with a warm cup of coffee in your hands.

This was what happiness felt like.

This was what home felt like.

It almost felt surreal.

Your eyes opened as a pair of arms wrapped around your waist and you smiled softly, looking up so that Billy could press a kiss on your forehead.

“Morning.”

“Hey,” his voice was raspy, still laced with sleep, “Why aren’t you in bed? It’s early.”

“I like watching the sunrise.” You said, “It’s… calm.”

“Well, I had a less calm activity in mind when I woke up.” He mumbled into your shoulder, making you giggle.

“Oh is that so?”  

“Mm hm,” he kissed your shoulder as you ran your fingers through his hair, which was longer than before. He let out a noise of content, making you smile.

“I still think I will wake up someday.” He mumbled and you frowned, then swung your legs over the railing and turned around so that you could face him.

“Hm?”

“This…everything.” Billy ran his fingertips down your bare arms, waking goosebumps. “All of this. It feels too good to be true.”

You shook your head, “Bill, it’s not a dream.” You said softly, “It’s our happy ending.”

“Guys like me don’t get happy endings, Skits.”

“Girls like me do.” You shrugged, “You got lucky Russo. Deal with it.”

He chuckled, “Sometimes before I fall asleep I think I will wake up next morning and…not find you there.”

“Hey,” you cupped his cheek so that his dark eyes would find yours, “Never going to happen. You’ve been stuck with me ever since I stole your candy, remember? Sorry to let you know, it’s the rest of your life.”

Billy nodded, as if trying to convince himself and keep the bad thoughts at bay, “It is, right?”

“I mean,” you trailed off playfully, “Not like I have a vintage marquise diamond rose gold band ring, which you could find downtown on the fifth street right across that restaurant we ate last night.”

That finally made him chuckle, “You would think you didn’t reject me when I asked you to marry me.”

“Um, you didn’t ask me to marry you dickhead, you said and I quote, You know I will marry you right? Which in all honesty is a terrible-“

“I also asked you on our first night here.”

“Okay, pillow talk proposals don’t count, everyone knows orgasms mess up with your mind- also to repeat, no ring Russo. Beyoncé taught me better.”

He nodded solemnly, “Third time is the charm.”

You couldn’t control your expression anymore so you burst into a laughter, shoving him slightly, “So, what did you have in mind again, when you woke up?”

He grinned at you, then lifted you up bridal style, making you let out a squeal and carried you back inside, both of you laughing like crazy.

                                          * * *

Time just flew by when you were happy.

It was so strange, normally –especially when you were in New York- every single thing you were going to do was planned, and each and every hour until you went to bed you had something. But now, it was as if you were free.

Now to think of it, you were.

“Okay, keep your eyes closed,” you said, still walking him until you reached the door of the empty shop. You had just finished dinner at a local restaurant, and you had basically dragged him outside afterwards, your heart beating in your ears. You unlocked the door, switched the lights on and turned to him, “Ta daa!”

Billy opened his eyes, then looked around before he turned to you with a quizzical look in his eyes.

“An empty shop?”

“My new gallery!” you couldn’t help to rock back and forth on the balls of your feet like an excited child, “I bought it!”

“Wait, really?” Billy raised his brows, “It’s uh… cozy.”

“I know, it’s smaller than the last one, but hear me out,” you licked your lips, “So I was walking downtown the other day, and it just occurred to me, what if I get this gallery to…to support the local artists? I made some research, and um- before, it was all about like general profit, and how much it’d push me up, and my bank account, that’s why I kept dealing with all those pretentious assholes, but now I don’t have to. I can actually use it to help people, and to support art, and- isn’t it amazing?” you finished, your voice going a pitch higher and that seemed to make Billy smile and nod.

“Wow, look at you babe.”

“I already talked to some street artists, and I think- Billy, it’s going to change their lives. I will be a part of that, I can make a difference here!”

Billy’s smile widened and he pulled you by the hand to get you closer before he tilted your chin up to kiss your lips.

“What do you think?” you asked, “Be honest. Brutally honest.”

“I think it’s a pretty good idea.”

“You’re not just saying that to get laid tonight?”

“You and I both know I’m getting laid tonight regardless.” He stated, making you giggle and steal a kiss, “But no, Skits it’s a really good idea.”

“And it won’t be as heavy as before, I can make my own rules here.”

“Mm hm. Once a boss, always a boss.”

“Yeah, keep that in mind buddy.” You grinned and let out a breath, “I’m excited!”

“I can see that,” Billy smacked your butt, making your jaw drop and shove him slightly,

“It’s a place of business, Russo!” You exclaimed as he chuckled and you pulled him by the hand outside, then locked the door.

You couldn’t stop talking about your new project all the way home. You had never even thought you could actually use your degree to help artists, it was all about money before, as your parents had drilled into your head, but now it was like a new horizon for you. You felt so energetic, so awake, and contrary to New York, you weren’t going to work to death.

It was just going to be perfect.

“So then I talked to him, and he says he had never even thought about being paid for his art which is insane, like I think he can get to places if he has a little push, and the gallery is close to the beach, so more tourists when you think about it.” You said as Billy pulled over in front of the house, then turned to you.

“You’re actually glowing, you know that?” he asked you with a fond smile, “Jesus, you’re even prettier when you’re happy.”

“I’m going to change lives!”

“Not a first for you Skits, you changed mine.”

You awwed, then leaned in to kiss him, “Come on, let’s get inside.”

“You go ahead babe, I’ll be there in five,” he pulled out his phone “I gotta call Frank, he said there was something he needed to talk to me.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said and you nodded.

“Well, I’ll go inside and hop into the shower, and you’re welcome to join.”

Billy grinned, “I’ll be there in two minutes, I’m sure Frank can talk fast when he wants to.”

“That’s brotherhood for you,” you scoffed a laugh, then pecked him on the lips, “I love you. Don’t be late.”

You pushed open the car door, then went to unlock the front door and got inside. Humming a song, you made your way to the living room, switched the lights on and gasped, the fear hitting you with its full force.

Rawlins. Billy’s former boss, the man whom you heard was referred as dangerous and psycho by both Billy and Frank was standing right in front of your living room, pointing a gun at you.

“Hi.” He tilted his head, “Y/N, right? Russo’s girl?”

You could feel the whole room spinning, the panic making your mind work in full force. Your phone was in your bag, there was no way you could reach the door before a bullet hit you, and-

Billy was outside.

Oh God, he was outside.

“What do you want?”

He shot you a look, “You’re pretty,” he commented, “I can see why he wanted to settle down with you. But you see, framing me for a murder you committed made my life pretty difficult.”

“I-“

He tsk tsked, “And Russo…. Well. I’d say he’s had enough of this peace don’t you think? Working with Castle behind my back, and then pulling this shit? That’s not gonna fly. Maybe seeing your brains on the wall will make him remember that there are some lines he shouldn’t cross.”

Your heart was beating so fast that you thought it resonated through the room, as you heard footsteps and the front door opening,

“Skittles?” Billy called out and you opened your mouth to scream, to tell him to run away, to do anything- but before you could take a breath, Rawlins raised the gun and pulled the trigger.

There was a loud noise, louder than your heart.

Then, darkness.

                                    The End.

     Special thanks to: @theskytraveler @iblogabout-stuff @marauderskeeper  @asongofmarvelanddc @mellxander1993 @papercloudx @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @superwolfchild-fan  @anxietysucks @finnickfoxes @luminex3 @rhabakoli @fictionalthrill  @redrxbel  @maelloute @we-are-all-wild-things @evilturtlemonkey @xinyourdreamsx @demoncrypt1066 @go-crybaby @i-am-always-famished @delicatelilyflower  @mamaraptor  @rmwest9 @writeyourmindaway  @becs-bunker @bubbleself @flaboyance @binbonsadoration @propertyofpoeandbucky @alwaysadreamingoptimist  @lisa-stilinski @denimandcabernet @tofadavidson @seriouslynogood @mixed-imagination @broken-pieces @lettersofwrittencollective @binbons-is-theloml @thinemineours @cutie-bug  @random-quartz  @malik-payne @gollyderek @ariminiria @lucielandss @tofadavidson and lovely anons! <3 You’re awesome! 

[magic-fandoms]

That incorrect quotes generator but it’s just my OCs nobody knows anything about

Andrew: *Screams*  Emily: *Screams louder to establish dominance*  Ethan: Should we do something?  Dylan: No, I want to see who wins. 

Andrew: Am I in trouble?  Emily: Take a guess.  Andrew: No?  Emily: Take another guess.

Andrew: *Gently taps table*  Emily: *Taps back*  Dylan: What are they doing?  Ethan: Morse code.  Andrew: *Aggressively taps table*  Emily: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK- 

Dylan: It’s dark in here  Andrew: Don’t worry dude, I got this  Andrew: *Stomps his feet*  Andrew: *Skechers light up*  Dylan: *about to fucking strangle him* 

Dylan: Am I going too far?  Emily: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

More under the cut

(Also, PLEASE ask me about my OCs. I wanna talk about them so fucking bad)

Andrew: Is stabbing someone immoral?  Emily: Not if they consent to it.  Dylan: Depends on who you’re stabbing.  Ethan: YES?!? 

-

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Andrew: Shit.  Emily: Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Ethan: OH MY GOD, DYLAN FELL OFF!!! 

-

Andrew: I think we're missing something. Emily: Teamwork?  Dylan: Cohesion?  Ethan: A general sense of what we’re doing? 

-

Andrew: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?  Emily: Put spaghetti in it.  Andrew: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.  Dylan: Put spaghetti in it.  Andrew: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.  Ethan: Put spaghetti in it.  Andrew: I'm no longer taking suggestions. 

-

Ethan: Emily, I'm sad.  Emily: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.  Dylan: Andrew, I'm sad.  Andrew, nodding: mood. 

-

Andrew: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?  Emily: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.  Dylan: I personally was created in a lab.  Ethan: I just straight up spawned. 

-

Andrew: Hah! 69! You know what that means?  Emily: What?  Dylan: That you're a child.  Ethan: HOW'D YOU GUESS DYLAN'S IQ!? 

-

Andrew, Ethan, and Dylan are sitting on a bench  Emily: Why do you guys look so sad?  Andrew: Sit down with us so we can tell you.  *Emily sits down*  Ethan: The bench is freshly painted. 

-

Andrew, setting down a card: Ace of spades  Emily, pulling out an Uno card: +4  Dylan, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you  Ethan, trembling: What are we playing 

-

Andrew: Can I be frank with you guys?  Emily: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.  Ethan: Can I still be Ethan?  Dylan: Shh, let Frank speak. 

-

Andrew: Everyone, synchronize your watches.  Emily: I don’t know how to do that.  Dylan: I don’t wear a watch.  Ethan: Time is a construct. 

-

Andrew: I think Emily was right.  Ethan: I'm surprised she hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Dylan: She wouldn't do that.  Emily: You're right, Dylan. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Emily: *turns around, the shirt she's wearing says 'Emily Told You So' on the back* 

-

*Andrew is cooking*  Emily: Any chance that’s for me?  Andrew: It’s for Ethan. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.  Dylan: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment. 

-

Ethan: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

-

Andrew: Goodnight moon.  Andrew: Goodnight tree.  Andrew: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.  The other three: *sweating nervously* 

-

Dylan: You wanna see how hardcore I am?  Dylan: *punches wall*  Dylan:  Dylan: Take me to the hospital. 

-

Emily: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ...And this knife I found.

-

Andrew: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.  Dylan: *this close to snapping*

-

Andrew: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

-

Emily: What doesn't kill me should run because now I'm fucking pissed.

-

Andrew: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

-

Dylan: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

-

Ethan: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

-

Dylan: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

-

Any of the others: You're my best friend, I would do anything for you.  Emily: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.  Any of the others: Absolutely not. 

-

Ethan: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.  Andrew: It’s not a joke.  Andrew: *sniffles*  Andrew: I’m a legit snack. 

-

Dylan: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.  Andrew, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

-

Dylan: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen!  Emily: Really? Name one law  Dylan: Don't kill people?  Emily: That's on me. I set the bar too low. 

-

Emily: Okay, truth or dare?  Any of the others: Truth  Emily: How many hours have you slept this week?  Any of the others:  Any of the others: ...Dare  Emily: Go to bed.  Any of the others: I don’t like this game.

-

Andrew: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?  Dylan: Go the fuck to sleep  Andrew: What gif I don't want to?  Dylan: Fuck You

-

Ethan: I'm incredibly fast at math.  Andrew: Alright, what's 30x17?  Ethan: 47  Andrew: That's not even close.  Ethan: But it was fast.

-

Andrew, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!  Dylan: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

-

Ethan: Today is a day of running through hurdles.  Emily: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?  Ethan: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

-

Andrew: I was arrested for being too cool.  Ethan: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

-

Andrew: Fuck.  Emily: We've got to work on your cursing.  Andrew: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

-

Ethan: Hey, you want some leftovers?  Dylan: What's that?  Ethan: You've never had leftovers???  Dylan: No, because I'm not a quitter.

[nodesiretogrowup]

alright y’all, time for a Melissa play-by-play. I have a theory about this episode but it will get it’s own post:

And we dive right into spy time

That statue in the fountain was very upsetting :’)

GODDAMN U LAUNCHPAD, U SEXY BEAST

I like that LP says spiffy because I use the word spiffy

DEW-ble O Duck

“What I Dewey best” God I love Dewey and his love of puns

SONG TIME!!!

Ben is a really good singer

I like how the song was foreshadowing things to come

How is she wearing earrings?

A ham on cheese sandwich sounds really good rn

“I can’t remember when I’m hungry” A man after my own heart

YOU DIED

Ok, that game is WAAAAAY too advanced. It has the whole building mapped out and those glasses are WAAAY to small and lightweight to handle all that. Is it all through wi-fi? Am I overthinking the logic of a video game in a cartoon? Probably

“I had a sassy quip and everything.” He has the makings of a superhero in him

“It’s a little too real.” FORESHADOWING! Or the game was already REALLY immersive. OR BOTH

OH GOD LAUNCHPAD IS ALREADY FEELING BAD ABOUT HIMSELF!

“Haven’t you ever wanted to plug into a high-stakes, thrilling adventure?” He’s already done the spy-thing. Though it would have been cool to see Scrooge in a sexy suit

UNCLE MCDEE! I LOVE IT

Then an Uncle Scrooge from Webby. TOO CUTE!

There is A LOT of winking in this episode ;)

“We’re a team” DEWEY IS SO ADORABLE AND WHOLESOME!

Aw, Launchpad

I didn’t notice it the first time, but I love that Steelbeak is using one of those plastic swords to pick his teeth. It’s the little things

Is the theme song gonna be the short version for every episode this season?

I really dig Jason Mantzoukas’ take on Steelbeak. He’s just so cocky yet insecure at the same time. I like his voice cracking when he gets embarrassed or excited 

And I ADORE how UTTERLY STUPID he is. I think he’s dumber than Launchpad because Launchpad is aware that he’s not exactly the smartest guy but Steelbeak GENUINELY thinks he’s smart. Plus he feels the joke. That’s just dumb and unfunny (in-universe at least. out of universe it’s great)

“The Sat-a-Lighthouse. Classic villain lair.” Well we know that’s gonna show up

Bradford’s neck bothers me. It makes my neck hurt looking at it

Intelli-ray. You guys are a bit on the beak nose when it comes to naming things

GADGET!

“Rat’s are dumb, right?” YOU STUPID BEAUTIFUL MAN

THE OTHER RANGERS! And Monterey already has his mustache

Ok how did her hair grow so fast? And did she shave her fur? How did she get a more human-esque figure? I NEED THIS INFORMATION

They Secret of Nimh’ed her!

Heron acts like an annoyed/done mom with Steelbeak and he acts like a snotty kid. It’s great

EVIL LAUGH

“Did that rat make that jumpsuit on a regular sewing machine, or did it build its own tiny sewing machine?” STEELBEAK ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE

I legit thought she was about to pull off his beak

“I’ll go. Not because you told me.” He’s such a punk-ass kid, I LOVE IT

CHOMP CHOMP

DON’T EXPLAIN THE JOKE, BRO

“I pay for the privilege of doing someone else’s yard-work?” THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY, YOU RICH, PRIVILEGED MAN. Whack-a-Mole is actually about expressing all the rage and fury inside you

Video graphic adventures

SKEE BALL! I FUCKING LOVE SKEE BALL

That kid didn’t even take his tickets

Ticket-rich. I love it

LET’S STRETCH BITCHES

“Can’t let Dewey down. Gotta be smart, gotta win the game.” OH LAUNCHPAD, SWEETHEART

“Calm down, LP. It’s only a game.” Dewey is SUCH a GOOD friend!

“But don’t overthink it.” That’s just good life advice in general

I love how tiny Dewey is when compared to LP. It’s ADORABLE

“THEN WE GET PIZZA.” “Yes, pizza.” I don’t know why, but the way Ben delivers that line is hilarious to me

“Pad. Launchpad. McQuack. My name is Launchpad McQuack.” I love you so much

Ok, was there an actual dude there? How could’ve Steelbeak thrown a digital person?

“Yes, I do as well.” YOU DUMB HOE, I LOVE YOU

That card game was great. Truly a battle of wits. And Dewey just being like...what. Beautiful

“Well played.” “It was?”

“Look’s like you’ve been out-smart guyed.” The dialogue in this episode is top notch 

I too do not understand smanzy card games

“But how about a game of 52 pickup...YOUR TEETH!”

“THE PAIN FEELS SO LIFELIKE!”

The sound Steelbeak makes when Dewey pulls on his...hair(?) is great

One day you’ll get to quip Dewey, one day

The cuts between the game reality and actual reality are so great

Is that the Phantom Blot or the normal Funzo? Is there even a normal Funzo?

The neck cracking also made my neck hurt

All the kids gathering around Scrooge is too cute

“Not now lass, I’m on a roll.” SKEE BALL IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO GAMBLING

“I think they just have nachos.” They have pizza too

Steelbeak pecking at Launchpad...brilliant

The little pug/bulldog kid is so cute

The scream when he’s hit with the pizza is gold

That ballpit is terrifying

Yet again Launchpad falls on someone

HE FUCKING PUNCHED A KID! WTF BRO?!

“WE MADE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!”

Those jumpsuits are pretty nice, ngl

“Nerp”

Launchpad had the right idea, he just fumbled on the execution

Rubix cubes-shorthand for intelligence levels

She is so done with him it’s great

“We can make Scrooge SO HUNGRY, he’ll EAT all the toys!” Solid logic

“Duh, that ain’t smart.” OO, BURN

Whenever anyone/anything grabs Steelbeak’s beak I feel like it’s gonna come off

THE THEME SONG PLAYS! I LOVE IT! IT’S GREAT

How did the others get smart? Where did THEIR clothes come from?! I NEED ANSWERS FRANK!!

Launchpad is always ready to lend a helping hand

HOW DID THE GLOVE FLOAT?! I HAVE SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!!!

“The answer was to build a tiny plane and teach a mouse to fly it?” “Yes, I figured that out.”

Is Gadget a rat or a mouse? She looked more mouse-like before she got smartified but Heron called her a rat. EVEN MORE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS! She’s probably a mouse though because that’s what she was in the original show

I don’t know why but I love when people call Launchpad LP. Maybe it’s because he has nicknames for everyone else so him having a nickname is cute

So Steelbeak was in prison in St. Canard. Perhaps he had a run in with a certain terror that flaps in the night? That would be hilarious if the two had met before but now Steelbeak is more focused on Launchpad. That would be a blow to DW’s ego

I kind of feel bad for Steelbeak. Sure he’s dumb but that was uncalled for. No wonder he snapped

“You bird-brained...” Aren’t you ALL bird-brains though? You are birds and you have brains therefore you have bird-brains. That almost feels like it could be a racist comment in this world

“I’M THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE ARCADE!” You were the richest duck in the arcade the moment you walked in

I love when Scrooge gets obsessed with something and loses his goddamn mind

WEBBY YOU CREATED A MONSTER!

“Ticket bin?” “YES!”

322 DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT. Good for them

Launchpad just LEEROY JENKENS’ed his way in

His hand is as big as Dewey’s HEAD

LP and Steelbeak have great fight dialogue. It reminds me of Megamind and Metro Man

LAUNCHPAD PUSHES DEWEY TO SAFETY! At that point he didn’t even KNOW what the ray did! But he heroically saved his best friend, not matter what would happen to him! WE STAN! 

 This episode cemented my headcanon that Chris Evans would be the perfect human LP

“I SHALL AVENGE YOU, MY FRIEND” 

This scene, the climax, and the end of the episode gave me a theory, but it will have its own post

British accent=smart?

First thing he does is slick back the hair. Classy

“That cad, Steelbeak” We should call more people cads

How did LP fit into that much smaller man’s uniform? Are they extra stretchy? Because I can totally see that being something FOWL would do. It’s practical

“I don’t know what any of those words mean.” Same

“Heavens, you don’t want them to think you don’t know what you’re doing!” My constant struggle

The supersious guy is adorable

“Well, it’s certainly proving to be bad luck FOR YOU!”

KARATE CHOP ACTION

He still calls him Mr McDee. I just think that’s cute

Dear Dewford. Aww

“I won’t let him down again.” AAAAWWWWWWW

“Can’t go out there looking like this.” You can’t fight crime if you ain’t cute (or sexy in LP’s case)

LAUNCHPAD, YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER

That is an old-ass phone you got there, LP

Scrooge is 2 for 2 in missing important calls. Probably should turn his ringtone on

Webby is just so done

“Ah yes, you’d like that wouldn’t you, sonny.” God, Scrooge can get downright FERAL

Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it DW cameo. It looks like Drake’s DW. Does he have merch now? Does he get a cute of the sales? Who makes the merch?

WEBBY WILL FUCKING END YOU

Dewey is SO precious this episode. His cute little bounces

“I’m actually afraid and a little dehydrated, this game is AWESOME” GET THAT BOY SOME JUICE STAT

I love when shows realistically portray sound

“No time for a...crash course” YEEEEEAAAAAAAH

How’d he get a grappling hook?

“THAT’S MY PARTNER!” DEWEY LOVES LP SO MUCH!!

“How is he doing this?” The power of sexy? I don’t know either, bro

“There goes your pal LURCH-POUND! HA! You know, because he just got lurched into that POND OVER THERE?!” “That’s technically a bay.” “I’M NOT STUPID!”

“Classic villain lair!” I can appreciate a man who knows what he’s about

Why do villains alway jump INSTANTLY to the world? You gotta take baby steps. Start with a city, then a state, then the tri-state area a country, THEN the world. Gotta pace yourself

“And Uncle Scrooge only gives us like a nickel each week.” Do they do chores to earn that allowance? I mean, probably. Do Donald and Della have to do chores as well? Give them at least a dime, Scrooge!

MORE SEXY LAUNCHPAD! DAMN YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN!

“Waaaaiiiit a minute, is that my suit?!” “It suits me better.” DAMN STRAIGHT IT DOES! LP fills the jacket out

I like Steelbeak adding on his fingers

“Your fancy speak won’t work on me, Dummy-O-Duck. Ha-ha, classic.”

“That was totally my plan the whole time” Sweetie, just...no

“I guess you’re not as smart as *voice crack* ME.” “Not as smart as I.” NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CORRECTING GRAMMAR!

THEY’RE BACK! AND THE THEME SONG! SO BEAUTIFUL!

Again, I thought Steelbeak’s beak was coming off

I like that Steelbeak went into pray position while being shocked

I’m gonna pretend the Rangers were off on their own adventure the whole time’

“Thanks for the...rescue.” AND GADGET SALUTES BACK AND WINKS! BEAUTIFUL!

“No person could survive being that stupid”

Launchpad, always willing to take one for the team

“There’s so much more I could accomplish! Stop the evil conspiracy out to get us! Solve world hunger! Land a plane!” No matter how smart he is, Launchpad still can’t stick the landing

“Launchpad, why are you overthinking this?” “Because I want to be good enough for you!” SOB

“Of course you’re good enough for me. You’re my best friend.” SOOOOOOOOOOB

“For Dewey, and Duckburg.” He put Dewey first, daaaaawwwww

HIM CATCHING DEWEY AND HOLDING HIM TIGHT TO HIS CHEST?! SO WHOLESOME!!

First thing LP does after things go back to normal? Fix his hair. Hair is very important to your state of mind, I guess

“Was it all a game?” Life is just a game

“Wait until I tell Huey I...YOU beat the game.” AAAAWWWWWW

“I’m not playing with anyone but you.” MY HEART!!!!

Scrooge is so broken. And the ticket to prize ratio, too true

“How much money did you spend to get those tickets?” Don’t play skee ball, kids. It will ruin your life

“I don’t think we should bring you here anymore.” Donald should probably be the one picking you up because Della would TOTALLY get hooked on a game/get too aggressive and I could see Beakley falling into the same trap

The comb just sticks there

The subtitles call him Suave-Pad, I LOVE IT!

“I like purple. A lot. Ha! Man, I’m glad I got that off my chest.” A DW reference or a CODEWORD?

“WARM THEM, YOU OLD FOOL! WAAAAARN THEEEEEM! Oh, dash it all, I’m going for a soak.”

“Restoring your ‘intelligence’ as it were.” BURN

She’s on a first-name basis with him...interesting

“OR ANY KINDS OF RAYS!” No mad sciencing here

“Who’s stupid now?” Gloating is very unbecoming

There are...certain people I wish I could force to shut up like that

His muffled screaming is great

Again, Rubix cube solving proves intelligence

How did he not notice it was wet when he picked it up?

I NEED THE SONG IN FULL SOMEWHERE TO DOWNLOAD

This one was super fun and emotional. I was not expecting this to be the episode that the Rescue Rangers would make their debut in but I’m glad they were here. Dewey and Launchpad’s friendship is so pure and adorable. I almost wish there hadn’t been a b-plot but it was fun. I know other people are upset over Steelbeak/the Rescue Rangers being different but I like them. This show is different from those shows. Steelbeak was repurposed into being Launchpad’s nemesis so he needed to match him. Plus we already have a bunch of smarties in FOWL. And this Steelbeak seems younger and less experienced so it would make sense that he’s not as clever. The Rangers didn’t really change that much from their show, just got a new origin that helps them fit into the world that has already been set up. I think this episode is going in the top 5.

[erikahenningsen]

My 15 favorite theater experiences of 2019

In no particular order:

1. Choir Boy (Samuel Friedman Theatre, New York, NY): I say in no particular order, but if you know anything about me, you know that Choir Boy is my number-one show of the year. I saw it four times on Broadway and twice in Boston. Tarell Alvin McCraney’s writing is so beautiful, human, and fearless. He puts works of art on stages, television, and film that nobody else does. Jeremy Pope’s performance as Pharus is easily in the top three greatest performances I’ve seen on a Broadway stage. If your local regional theater is doing this show, I cannot encourage you enough to go and see it.

2. What the Constitution Means to Me (Helen Hayes Theater, New York, NY): This show was unlike any other play I’ve seen before. Heidi Schreck, who wrote and starred in WTCMTM, wrote a deeply human, poignant, and timely play about a document written by a bunch of rich, white men a few centuries ago and made it gripping, engaging, and relevant. It’s a show I believe every American should see. As an added bonus, Heidi is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve met.

3. The Wrong Man (MCC Theater, New York, NY): I saw The Wrong Man for the first time three weeks before it closed, and I immediately fell in love with it and went back several more times in those three weeks. The Wrong Man is only ninety minutes long and has only three main characters, but it presents an engaging story about forgiveness, mercy, justice, guilt, and innocence. Ross Golan, the composer/lyricist, began performing The Wrong Man as a concept album thirteen years ago and turned it into a full musical. The score is beautiful and has some really great bops, and the choreography is probably the best I’ve ever seen.

4. Waitress with Sara Bareilles and Gavin Creel (Brooks Atkinson Theatre, New York, NY): I’m personally not the biggest fan of Waitress, but this was one of the most fun nights I had in a theater this year. Sara and Gavin had amazing chemistry, and I have never laughed so much at Waitress before. 

5. A Strange Loop (Playwrights Horizons, New York, NY): A Strange Loop is unlike any show I’ve ever seen before. It’s unlike anything anyone has seen before. How many shows center around a fat, black, queer character? I can’t think of any. Michael R. Jackson, the book writer/composer/lyricist, has an incredible ability to write satire that has you laughing at the same time you’re being punched in the face emotionally. A Strange Loop grapples with the intersections of racism, homophobia, and fatphobia. It’s meta at the same time it’s grounded, and gets more and more intense as the show progresses. I walked out of the theater in a daze after I saw it. My fingers are crossed it comes to Broadway.

5. Mean Girls, Taylor Louderman’s last show (August Wilson Theatre, New York, NY): Going to Mean Girls is a routine thing for me, and I’ve seen the show dozens of times, but every once in awhile something special happens that reignites my love for this show. Taylor’s last show was obviously incredibly sad for me, the cast, and everyone who loves this show, but I also laughed more and harder on this evening than I have in a very long time at Mean Girls. Everyone, especially Taylor, was giving this performance their all, and I’ll never forget it.

6. The Secret Life of Bees (Atlantic Theater Company, New York, NY): I had suspicions I was really going to love this show before I saw it, but I absolutely fell in love with it. The music is gorgeous (thank you, Duncan Sheik), the performances are stellar, and the story, though set decades ago, is as timely and relevant as ever. I do cry at shows pretty often, but rarely do I tear up because of how overwhelmingly beautiful a show is—but I did that at Secret Life of Bees. I’m still impatiently waiting on that Broadway transfer announcement.

7. Beetlejuice (Winter Garden Theatre, New York, NY): Despite all its flaws, I love this crazy, loud, obnoxious, wild show so much. I had seen it in DC and counted down the days until first preview on Broadway. I rushed first preview and ended up with front-row tickets, and I had one of the most fun nights in a theater I’ve ever had. The performances really make the show, and I’ve been very vocal about how I strongly believe Leslie Kritzer was snubbed by the Tonys. Beetlejuice also has my favorite scenic design for any show. I also have a uniquely personal connection to this showL Beetlejuice used to have a joke in the show I felt was offensive, so I reached out to Eddie Perfect and Alex Timbers and explained to them why I was hurt by it, and they actually listened to my feedback and removed the joke. I’m hoping Beetlejuice can find another home after June, because I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.

8. Next to Normal (Ground Floor Theatre/Deaf Austin Theatre, Austin, TX): For years I had been wanting an ASL production of Next to Normal with Sandra Mae Frank as Natalie, so when it actually happened I knew I had to fly to Texas to see it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more at a show. Sandy made me look at Natalie in a whole new way, and the ASL interpretations of the lyrics added so many new layers to the show. Megg Rose, the Deaf actor who played Diana, gave one of the best performances I’ve seen, and I want her to be on Broadway immediately. This production really was a dream come true for me. 

9. Six (Chicago Shakespeare Theater, Chicago, IL): We drove to Chicago from NYC to see Six, and it was definitely worth it. I was in the front row for the first time I saw it, which was a terrifying but incredibly fun experience. This cast is so incredibly talented, and the show is so much fun, and being there with almost all of my closest friends was such a memorable experience. I’m so excited to see it again when it comes to Broadway.

10. Little Shop of Horrors (Westside Theatre, New York, NY): This was my first experience seeing LSOH, and I had an absolute blast. The performances were incredible, with Christian Borle being just off-the-wall crazy. I haven’t laughed that much at a show in awhile. The Audrey II puppets are fantastic, and what they’ve done with the scenic design in such a small space is amazing. I’m excited to see it again with Gideon Glick.

11. Indecent (Huntington Theatre Company, Boston, MA): Indecent is and always will be my favorite play, and I’m so incredibly grateful I got to see it again in Boston. Huntington recreated the Broadway production with many of the original cast members, and it was such a special show. I never thought I’d see that production again live, and Huntington gave me such an incredible gift with this play. 

12. Freestyle Love Supreme (Booth Theatre, New York, NY): FLS is just fun from start to finish. It’s completely improvised with special unannounced guests every night, so it’s different every time you see it. I loved seeing how they made the show more inclusive between Off-Broadway and Broadway (by asking people their pronouns, for example), and I have a blast every time. 

13. Ain’t Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations (Imperial Theatre, New York, NY): I saw Ain’t Too Proud mostly for Jeremy Pope, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely loved the show. Derrick Baskin is one of the most hardworking performers on Broadway—he literally does not leave the stage. The choreography is so much fun, and each person in the cast is so incredibly talented. It’s also one of the most pleasant stage doors I’ve ever experienced; everyone at the stage door just really genuinely wants to congratulate and thank the performers, and the actors are so kind. 

14. Teeth (National Alliance for Musical Theatre Festival, New York, NY): It’s wild even to me that I’m putting a staged partial reading on this list, but that’s how good Teeth was. I spent the entire time laughing, and the songs are constantly stuck in my head. Everyone at the festival was talking about how much they loved the show, so I’m hopeful there will be a full production of it sometime soon.

15. Slave Play (John Golden Theatre, New York, NY): It’s hard to talk about Slave Play because it transcends descriptors like “good” or “bad.” Slave Play is important. It’s complex. It’s necessarily provocative. And it’s shaken up Broadway like no show has in recent memory. It’s a show I think every American adult should see. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it. It only runs for a couple more weeks, and if you haven’t seen it, you need to. 

[devaigh]

The Winner ~Chapter 7

AN: This is currently the longest chapter I’ve ever written. This is now also the longest fic I’ve written and it’s far from over. I just want to say that I’m so super grateful for all the encouragement and everyone who has helped get this into shape. 

Previously || 1 2 3 4 5 6

The air outside was colder than she anticipated. The wind rolling off of the water lifted her hair, bringing the taste of salt to her lips.  She could still hear the sounds of the party behind her, though it felt a world away. Even the muted whispers of other guests around her seemed as though behind a sheet of dimly lit glass. A few stray partygoers milled about on the cobbled stairs leading down to the beach, while others dotted the path leading to a wide sprawling garden just beyond a delicate whitewashed gate. Instinctively, her eyes sought out a hint of red hiding in the shadows. But there was no trace of her daughter… or Jamie.

Claire felt herself start to breathe again. She just needed a moment. She stayed where she was, her eyes slipping shut.  Seeing Jamie here, seeing the way he had looked at her, she couldn’t stop the way her heart raced. It wasn’t fair.

How was he still able to do that?

Jamie had always been able to steal her breath, to make her want nothing more than his body next to hers. She felt whole when he was near. Until she didn’t.

After he had left, she had never found that again. 

Claire had to admit to herself, she had never really looked. What she had shared with Jamie had been the best part of her. When she had lost him, her grief had nearly consumed her. When Brianna had arrived, Claire hung on to the hope that Jamie might still be alive. He would come home, and take them both away.

But her dreams had been cut short.

She had seen the notice. The letters spelling but his name, his picture staring back at her from the newspaper she held. She knew.

He was gone.

She was alone.

She had broken an entire set of dishes. The lamp in the hall had shattered when it hit the wall. Frank had been furious. The worst part was she couldn’t explain. She didn’t want to see the self-satisfied smirk on his face.  

Claire opened her eyes, steadying herself. Whatever Jamie was doing here, she wasn’t going to get involved. She couldn’t. Her heart couldn’t go through that again. 

*  *  *  *  *  * 

His damn phone buzzed again.

Jamie swore.

“Not now!” he muttered under his breath. He dug his phone back out of his pocket preparing to turn the blasted thing off when the name that flashed across the screen caught his eye.

Willie

Christ. He stood, answering quickly as he made his way to the nearest exit.

Willie?

Where are you?

“I’m in France mo mhac.”

“Oh. Right. That’s this weekend. I forgot.”

“Dinna fash lad,  Tell me what’s wrong? Are ye okay?”

“Yeah.. but there’s a problem. I didn't remember you were gone, and then she showed up to my practice today and..

“Hold on lad, start at the beginning. Now, what’s going on?” 

* * * * * * * 

“That was a wonderful speech, Dr. Randall.”

Claire turned around and smiled when she saw the person standing behind her.

‘’John!”

“In the flesh. I do apologize my dear, for not having found you before dinner. I arrived later than I originally anticipated.”

“Oh...no. that's quite all right. It's been a rather busy day. I hope you had time to settle in.”

“I did indeed. You really didn’t need to go through all that trouble.” He laughed as she reached his side “How are you, my dear?”  Her hands were chilled, he noticed as she touched his arm. “You look wonderful.”  

“I’m doing as well as can be expected, I suppose.  It has already been a crazy month, but this weekend seems to have its own surprises in store for me.”  Claire laughed,  “My wedding was nothing compared to this one. “

“Well I imagine you made a most lovely bride yourself.”

Claire shrugged.  “It was a civil marriage. We went to the courthouse. There wasn’t any pomp or circumstance at all. Granted, it was only a few months after Brianna was born”.

John smiled, “I understand completely.” He offered her his arm. “Would you care to walk with me?  I was quite enjoying the lovely view you have here. How did you decide on the venue?”

“Brianna actually. It was her idea.”  Claire wove her arm through his, smiling up at him. “I used to come here often when I was a girl. It’s nice to come back. I’ve missed it”  She shook her head. “But enough about me.  How are you?”

John sighed. “All things considered, I am well, my dear.”

Claire raised one eyebrow. “And Hal?”

“My brother has recovered well. “ He stopped, turning to face her, his tone serious. “Our family is in great debt to you.  He has regained his energy and has become is old self.  There is joy again. Something I never thought I would see again in Minnie’s eyes.”

Claire nodded. “I’m glad then.  I have been thinking about all of you.”

“And we are truly grateful for it.” He smiled. “You have been a blessing to us all.”

“I’m glad I was able to help”

“Oh my dear, you don’t understand. You did far more for us than help. You saved my brother. You returned him to his family. We are eternally grateful to you.”

“I know.” Claire said, patting his hand. “But It’s what I do. I’m just glad I was there.”

“So am I.” 

* * * * * * * 

She felt the touch of his hand on her waist. A smile bloomed across her face as the warmth of Roger’s body touched her bare back. Turning, she met his eyes.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

Their lips met in a gentle kiss and Brianna licked the taste of wine from his lips. A deep rumbling laugh vibrated through her and she pulled away, grinning.

“What’s so funny?”

“Ye seem rather eager, Bree.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why, are you?”

“Aye.  I’m verra eager to call ye mine.” His arms pulled her closer, her own wrapping around his shoulders.

“I thought I was already.”

“Ye are. But I canna wait until ye have my name.” He said, pressing his forehead against hers. “I dinna think I can wait much longer.”

Brianna pulled back, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “It’s only two more days, Roger.  We’ve waited this long. Surely you can wait for two more days.”

Roger sighed.  “I know I can. I just dinna want to.”

“Well, that’s too bad, because …

A sudden movement caught her eye and Brianna turned just in time to see Jamie make his way into the room, his brow drawn tight. His eyes scanned the room, landing on her.   He stood just inside the room, still partially hidden in the dim light from the hall. She felt herself freeze at the expression on his face. His eyes were troubled and one hand rested against his thigh, where she could just see a small flurry of movement from his hand.   

“Bree?”

“What?” she said shaking herself out of her stupor.  She blinked several times, before looking back up at Roger. He looked concerned.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked who that was.” He motioned towards where Jamie stood. Roger’s eyes narrowed as he tried to see in the dim light. “Is he a friend of your mother's?”

“Oh. Um. He’s… hes just a guest.”  She bit her lip. “Will you excuse me?”

Before he could answer, Brianna had already left him standing there. 

* * * * * * * 

Jamie saw Brianna make her way towards him. This was it. His finger s drummed against his thigh as he waited. She had barely reached his side before he reached out, lightly touching her shoulder.

“Da?” She frowned, speaking quietly. “Is everything okay?”

Jamie shook his head.  “There’s something  I need to tell ye.” He pulled her to the side, as he glanced around. He frowned for a moment before he spoke, keeping his voice low.

“There's no easy way to tell ye this a nighean.” he said. “But I may need to leave.”

“What? Why? Is something wrong?”

Jamie shook his head. “Tis nothing I couldn't handle, lass but I just got a call from my son and..”

“Your son?” Brianna's eyes went wide. “I have a brother?”

“Aye. Ye do. A brother. Cousins, and..well..” he waved his hand, changing the subject. “I ran into yer Mam.”

“Mama?”

“Aye. She seemed rather upset with me being here. I remember ye telling me that she didna ken I was here, but… Well I think it's best I leave.”

“No!” Brianna tugged on his arm. “You can’t! Please! I just found you, and I really want you at my wedding.”

“I ken that lass, and I'd love to stay, but there's Willie-”

“He can come too!. There's still two days before the wedding. Call him and tell him to get on a plane.” She bit her lip. “I'll pay for the ticket, it's no-”

“I would, a leanan. But I dinna think yer Mam would take it well-”

“I'll talk to her. Please, please don’t go. I..I've never had a father. I don't know what it's like. And now that you're here, I.. I'm afraid if you leave I'll never see you again.”

Jamie held his daughters gaze, seeing the desperation and heartache contained within. His own heart was at war with his mind trying to remember all the reasons why he should go.

But he couldn't.

He felt it then. The tiny snap of his resolve. The last of the wall he had tried to build crumbled around him. He could not deny her.

His lips turned up in a smile as he saw the same reflected back at him. A silent conversation with the child of his blood.

“Ye will no get rid of me that easily lass.” He laughed, the sound rich and full as it rumbled through his chest. “Even if I were to leave, I still mean to know ye. Yer still my bairn, married woman or no.” Jamie reached out and cupped her cheek, his smile growing when she leaned into his palm. “I think we have gone long enough without the knowing of each other, ye ken?”

Brianna nodded, her eyes swelling with tears. “Yeah. Besides..” she grinned. “I still need to meet my brother.”

* * * * * * * 

After dinner, when most of the guests had gone their separate ways, Claire found herself still restless. Feeling trapped, she decided on a walk to soothe her frazzled nerves. Her hair hung loose across her shoulders, blowing gently in the breeze coming from her window. The moon hung low in the sky, carving a wide path across the smooth hardwood under her feet. Wrapping a silk shawl across her shoulders, she turned, heading back downstairs towards the doors leading out to the wide terrace. The sound of the ocean was calling out to her, beckoning her with the gentle crashing of waves against the sand.

At the edge of the courtyard that framed the villa, the large, rounded stones still warm from the heat of the day's sun, Claire shed her sandals. She hadn't intended on going far but  she wasn't surprised when she found herself at the water's edge, letting the water lap at her toes. She stood there for a long time still wrestling with her thoughts. Memories swirled around in her mind, distant echoes of things far beyond her reach.  

What did surprise her though was the sound of his voice from behind her.

“Sassenach.”

“What do you want?” Damn him. She thought. He had always had the ability to sneak up on her, a trait she found rather irritating.

“I want to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Jamie.”

A Scottish noise sounded behind her, and she rolled her eyes. “What?”

“I need to explain.”

“Well I don't want to hear it.” She half turned her head, not meeting his eyes, but she could feel his presence edge closer.

“I ken ye think the worst of me, Sassenach, but there are thing ye need to hear.”

“No.”

“Claire-”

She whipped around. “You had almost 20 years James Fraser. You show up at MY daughter's wedding-”

“She's my daughter too, Claire.”

“MY daughter.” she huffed, her brown eyes glowing like like coals. “You didn't want us, and all of a sudden you-”

“I DIDN'T KNOW SHE EXISTED, CLAIRE!” his voice echoed between them. Jamie could have sworn he had seen her since. “How could ye say that I did a want my own bairn?”

“Well it became painfully obvious you didn't care about her. Or me.” Claire bit off, grateful for the darkness that his the blush staring her cheeks.

She was framed in the moonlight that shown behind her, bathing her ivory skin in the silvery light like a ethereal creature. Her soft curls shone, floating around her head like a crown of clouds, loose strands twisting together in the wind rolling off the water.

She had never looked lovelier.

“I ken,” Jamie said, trying desperately to keep his voice even. “That ye have every reason to hate me. But I promise ye Sassenach, it wasn't my fault.”

The bitter laugh that escaped from her lips twisted his insides. Her eyes locked on his.

“Not your fault that you chose HER.”

“I didn't remember.”

Whatever she was expecting, it clearly wasn't that.

“What?”

“I didn't remember.”

Crossing her arms, she turned, facing him. Her amber eyes flashing as they met his, Claire bit down on the inside of her cheek. “What do you mean you didn't remember? You didn't remember what”

“Anything.”

[kastlenetwork]

kastle + laguardia :)

Laguardia is an airport, right? Lmaoo I’m so stupid, I had to google it. I’ve never been to New York, I only know about JFK. 

Karen isn’t really sure what her plan is, now that her father has made it abundantly more clear that she is not welcome home. The rage and pain of the loss of Kevin and the roll of which she played still ever present in his every interaction with her. And she understands that, she really does. It’s not as if Karen has forgiven herself for driving them into a battlement of crunching plastic steel and shattering glass – she doesn’t expect her father to feel much differently. She can still see the red of blood staining the backs of her lids, whenever she closes her eyes – especially now, as she finds herself on the run from more trouble she’s shoved herself into where it she didn’t need.

It was stupid of her to go to the hotel and gain entry into his sham of a prison – she recognizes a plan built on the back of desperation when she sees it, when she carries it out on her own. But, the burning idea of “maybe” and “if he only just…” was too strong for her to not gamble the odds – that Wilson Fisk would reach across the table, after she confessed her most recent crime ending in the red stain of another, and harm her in some way anyway that would get him put back where he belonged.

A stupid plan that didn’t work and she should’ve known. 

But, Karen thinks as she stares forward to a little kid playing with a tiny toy car across the discolored carpeting, doing nothing does nothing and she will never do nothing again. 

Her father had hung up on her, despite the sounds of her sniffles she is more than sure that he was able to hear through the line, in an alarmingly quick fashion and she’d had less than no time to plan her next move. She knew she was being hunted by someone masquerading as Matt and far more deadly. She knew, better than most, that Fisk was powerful beyond measure. This will be the second time he’s had other men do his dirty work and try and take her out – her mind raises a phantom hand to rub at the span of her neck, where the bed sheet once wrapped. Her only option was to get out of New York for awhile, hunker down and lay low.  

It’s not like she had a job to do, anyway – what with the whole being fired thing.

And that’s what she’s doing. She just needs her flight to come, so she can get out of the busy and dangerous city to Bumfuck, USA – or wherever her ticket is to, she can barely remember. Definitely not Vermont. Her father obviously wouldn’t let her in and she figures the rest of the family will follow. She doesn’t want to endure the images of her Granny Louanne (or any other family member who would dare open their doors to her) ripped apart and riddled with oozing burning holes, anyway. 

How many people that she loves can she be she damned to get killed? She can’t have any more of their blood on her hands. She can’t. There’s only so much a person can recover, before they’re broken beyond repair.

Karen’s mind is so occupied with worry that she only notices the presence coming closer, as it’s already placing it’s weight in seat next to her. She keeps her eyes on the child while he plays and remains as calm as she’s able, as her hand immediately inches it’s way into her purse, before recalling with a internal curse that she has nothing with her to protect her. She couldn’t very well bring a gun into LaGuardia – that would be thrusting herself into the spotlight, instead of sinking away into the depths of the dark shadows. 

How many mistakes can she make in the span of two days? How many decisions can she make that are going to get her fucking killed!

“Chicago, huh?”

Karen whips her head to the right, her ears not believing what her eyes suddenly see – her mind not registering the truth. 

Frank tilts his head and lifts his arm, bringing a cup of coffee to his lips, “Good a place as any. Big enough to hide, familiar enough to feel like you stand out.”

“…Frank?! What are you–” she shakes the fuzz out of the space between her ears and drops her voice down to below a whisper. “What are you doing here?”

“Got a call from David about some trouble,” he shrugs and Karen takes in the sight of him. She hasn’t seen him since the last time she was kidnapped (and isn’t that a joke if there ever was one – the last time she was kidnapped, shit) where he stood upon a roof and shot at faceless never ending ninjas. (Ninjas! What has her life come to?) “Punched a bunch of fucking buttons on a computer and did that thing where he stalks people ‘til he gets what he wants…found you here.”

His hair is short, again, and the beard the was swarming his face last she saw him long gone. His eyes are bright as they rest upon her face, but alert in a way that hers accidentally stopped being an hour ago, scanning the airport for the both of them. But, best of all, there’s no purple and yellow marks upon his face – it’s as clean as ever, only faint and faded scars of old painted against his skin. And there’s a merry clench around her heart at that clear canvas, just as there was when he’d called out her name on the street and asked to come to her home.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he’s talking and watching her as she watches him.

“Chicago?” she glances down at her ticket, clutched in the hand not grasped at the nothingness in her purse . “Yes…Chicago. Windy…Safe.”

“You know I would’ve come.”

Karen squints her eyes and mimics the tilt of his head, “Do I know that, Frank?”

He nods in an absentminded manner and sweeps the room. He’s not contacted her since he left through the top of that elevator and he knows that as much as she does. “That’s fair,” he hums. “I should have made it clear. I was…busy.”

“Not in the usual way,” she gestures towards his face.

“No, not in the usual way.”

Karen pulls her hand out of her bag and pulls it into a fist, “That’s good…Frank.” She opens her mouth to say more, but a monotone voice sounds out above their heads signaling boarding to her flight to apparently Chicago. Karen hovers for a moment and pulls her eyes back to the child, who’s parent is pulling him up off of the floor. Despite how it’s set her mind off axis, Frank’s sudden appearance doesn’t change the dire consequences of the situation, so she stands abruptly. When Frank does the same, she turns back to him, with a question in her brow and panic seeping out of her pores. 

She really doesn’t have time for a famous Page and Castle bounce around, lives are on the line and she has to get out of New York.

“Chicago, huh?” he repeats, pulls another drink from his coffee, and holds up a ticket in his other hand and the breath rapidly leaves Karen’s lungs. 

He’s coming with her? 

To Chicago? 

Her own dad told her not to come.

“You can tell me all about Fisk when we get there. Shit, you’re always gettin’ yourself into trouble, Karen. I do not understand it,” he looks both exasperated and impressed – which is often how she feels about him.

“Yeah, well so are you,” her whisper raises slightly, sharpens with a touch of hurt that she’s not really interested in exposing to him. Especially not now, when everything is so much worse than Frank Castle not pushing through his own fogs to call her. “You’re the king of getting yourself into trouble, I seem to recall a certain trial.”

“Yeah, now that was a party…Guess we’re both willing to throw everything away to get to some sorta justice.”

She watches him reach down to a backpack that she hadn’t noticed and gesture towards the line that’s formed, eyes ever vigilant. “You could’a gotten a ticket to California or something. It’s fucking cold in Chicago, right now.”

She brings them to into the line, “Next time I’m running for my life, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

He huffs out a laugh, “We both know there’ll be a next. Too nosy for your own good – you’d be damn good friends with David, actually.”

She looks back at him, “…I’m trying to be damn good friends with you.”

“Yeah,” he nudges her towards the lady looking to scan their tickets. “I know, Page.”

I gave up at the end ✌ ✌ ✌ writing is hard ✌ ✌ ✌ it’s not three lines ✌ ✌ ✌

[luniellar]

It’s You: 05 (Chris Evans / Sebastian Stan / FC)

A/N: LOL I cracked open the old photoshop to test my skills from high school and that horrific thing above was the product. Well... all bad photoshop skills aside, here is chapter five fam! 

Summary: Chris, Sebastian, and Julie (Fictional Character) have been friends for a long time… even before Chris and Seb started their acting careers and landed a role in the Marvel Universe. Friendship opened a new path to love and it’s starting to look… complicated.

Pairing: Chris Evans X Julie (Fictional Character), Sebastian Stan X Julie (FC)

Genre: Romance | Drama

Audience: PG-13…? (Jk there are definitely some F-bombs and inappropriate language that might not be suitable for the young)

Navigation: Masterlist

I woke up to the sunlight streaming in from the window by my bed.

My bed.

I opened my heavy, puffy eyes and the memories of last night came rushing back like a flood. I glanced over at my clock. It read at 12:07 pm. When I looked down, I was still wearing my red evening gown. I got up from the bed and lazily took off my dress letting it fall to the floor. Half-awake, I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself.

Most of my eye makeup was intact, but the rest of my face rubbed off somewhere else. I turned on the water and splashed my face awake with the cold water. Once the cold water hit my face, I was back to my old everyday routine. I quickly brushed my teeth and jumped in the shower. By the time I stepped out of the shower, I heard my doorbell ring.

Who was it?

I didn’t order anything knowing that I was going to be in California for the week and the only person who knew I was here was Seb. I would be lying if I admitted that his name didn’t come across my mind. But you know what, I was okay with lying to myself to save myself the teary trouble mess.

I wrapped the towel around me and quickly walked over to the door.

“Hold on!” I shouted at the door as I fumbled with the locks. When I opened it, a young guy with a fluorescent vest and brown cargo shorts and vest was standing with a small brown box in his hands.

“Ms. Julie?” He asked.

“Yes?” I answered back.

He took out a device and handed it to me. “Sign your name there.”

I did what I was told and handed it back to him. “Hi, uh what is this?”

He looked at me confused. “It’s the delivery service, ma’am.”

“I didn’t-“ Before I could finish my sentence he threw the package at me and headed off down the hallway. With the package in my hand, I closed the door behind him. I should be more concerned about random packages arriving at my house. But, I saw Seb’s name scribbled in the From line in the corner. I walked into the kitchen to grab scissors and tore through it. My jaws dropped as an iPhone box stared back at me. I grabbed the small note in the box first.

Happy early birthday gift? Call me when you get it set up. - Seb

The phone was a quick set up process. I was up and running within 30 minutes and it looked like the phone was already linked to an existing number.  I sat on the couch and dialed Seb’s number from memory.

“Jules?” Seb answered.

“Hey,” I said back.

“How are you feeling?” I could pair his facial expression with the way he said that.

“Better,” I paused. “Thank you for last night.”

“Mhm, did you talk to him yet?”

“No,” I answered almost instantaneously. “I don’t plan on it.”

“Okay,” he paused for a quick second and changed the subject. “Well, I’m planning to come tomorrow.”

“To Boston?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any upcoming schedules. I want to check on you.”

“Okay.” I gave in. I didn’t see a point in arguing with him if he was already determined to come. “By the way, let me send you money back for the tickets and the phone.”

“As I said, it’s your early birthday gift.”

“Seb, my birthday is four months away.”

“I know, so don’t forget my gift then.”

I sighed. “Thank you.”

“Okay, I have to go. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay.”

And the phone line cut off. I was about to get up and prepare something to eat when my phone buzzed and buzzed. I was receiving the text messages that I missed when my phone went missing yesterday.

Seb: Where are you?

Seb: Are you with Frank?

Seb: Answer your phone

And then, I saw his.

Chris: I need to talk to you. Where are you?

Chris: Are you coming back to the hotel?

Chris: Can you call me?

I dropped my phone next to me, but it felt like I was still staring at it. My mind kept a mental screenshot of the message. I couldn’t find my legs to get up. Deep inside, I knew the depth of the situation. There was a cloud of misunderstanding between us. All I had to do was call him and talk it over like grown adults. But, my fear wouldn’t let me. The confrontation didn’t scare me, but I was scared because didn’t know what it meant for us afterward.

Do we just pick up where we left off? Could I just pick up where we left off?

The answer to the second question I already knew was a no. There was no way I could delete my memory like I didn’t see what I saw. I couldn’t just forget the feeling of being punched in my gut when I saw him across from me. There was nothing that could mend the trail of broken heart pieces.

My tears quietly rolled down my cheeks and dropped on my hands. I got up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed anything I could find. By the time I was back in bed, I couldn’t remember what I ate. I think I heard Seb call, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t touch the phone that night.

I woke up to the ringing sound of the doorbell. I rolled off the bed and dragged myself to the doorway. It took me a while as I locked and unlocked the door stumbling with my sluggish hands before finally getting it open. I rubbed my tired eyes and my eyes focused on a blurry figure of Seb standing in front of me.

“It’s 5 am, Seb.” I groaned as I turned around and started dragging myself back to my bed.

“Whose fault is that. Why didn’t you answer your phone.”

I turned around and quickly shushed him. “I’m tired.”

“Jules, get up.”

“Julie.”

I rolled to the edge of the bed trying to stop this strange alarm that kept on saying my name. I reached out my hand and felt around for a button, but it started to register in my mind that this didn’t feel like a desk. This wasn’t hard like a solid surface, but a dough-like surface that reminded me of a... body part. My eyes flew open and saw my hands over Seb’s upper left thigh. My eyes quickly scanned up and locked in on his horrified expression.

“SEB!!!” I screamed as my hands flew off and grabbed my covers. I hid underneath my blankets praying it was all just a freaky dream.

I heard him clear his throat, but it honestly sounded like he was choking. Oh god, please tell me this was all just a dream.

“Jesus, Jules. Wake up, it’s 11 am.”

“Let me be!” I blurted out. Underneath the covers, I tried to pinch myself awake. No luck, my arm was hurting like a bitch now.

“Your pancakes are getting cold.”

I peeked over my covers. He was still standing there with his arms crossed. He was wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. I knew my face was already tomato red. “Pancakes?”

“I grabbed them from Bob and Edith’s down the street. Your favorite, right?”

I nodded.

“I’ll be in the dining room.” He turned and stormed out of my room, closing the door behind him. I slowly rose my body out of the bed, I buried my face in my hands. Way to go, Julie. Way to go.

If I could do whatever I wanted, I would’ve shown up to the table in sunglasses. But, I knew about table manners and I didn’t think Seb would have appreciated my sweatpants, t-shirt, and sunglasses fashion at the table.

Seb was scrolling through his phone when I walked over to the table. That would have bothered me 9 out of 10 times, but I was distracted by the impressive table setting. The table was perfectly set for two with a stack of pancakes on each plate. There was a glass of orange juice by the utensils. When I sat down, Seb placed his phone down.

“Do you always wake up this late?” He asked.

“I’m jet-lagged, okay?”

“Uh-huh,” he said back sarcastically.

Blinded by hunger, I grabbed my fork and knife. Seb waved his hand to signal me to stop. He grabbed the syrup and poured it over the pancakes.

“I don’t know if it’s good cold-”

Before he could finish his sentence and put the syrup container down, I started stuffing my face. As I continued to eat, I heard him chuckle. When I looked up, he was pouring the syrup over his pancakes.

“So, about earlier…” He started to say and I choked on my own food. I reached for the OJ and barely bought myself back to life.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“What about earlier?” I fired back.

“I started your laundry earlier. It looked like you didn’t get to it since you got back.”

“Oh,” I said in relief. I felt the tension release from my body. “It’s been three days, I’ll survive. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Did you think I was going to mention how you basically groped me earlier? I thought it wasn’t a subject for breakfast.”

I immediately felt my face heat up again as I quickly looked down at my food. “I- uh- I don’t know what you are talking about, Seb.”

His laughter filled the empty pockets of space between us. I’ve only been crying around the house since I got back and this was a welcomed change. Minus the reason why he was laughing, I find myself smiling too.

“Hey, look at me.”

I looked up with a stupid smile still on my face. His short rich brown, almost black hair was messily tossed on his head as if he woke up, got dressed, and went to pick up food. Unlike his hair, his beard was well-kept at a perfect length close to his tan skin. His grey-blue eyes met mine and lit up.

“I missed that smile,” he said softly.

“Stop it,” I pushed back jokingly.

His smile faded into seriousness. “I don’t know what to do around you when you cry, Jules.”

“Seb-” I started to speak when he cut me off.

“I didn’t know what to do after your past relationships and I still don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” I smiled, weakly. “I know it sounds selfish, but I’m just glad that you were always there for me.” I heard my voice crack towards the end of the sentence.

“I,” he started to speak but stopped soon after. He pressed his lips together and leaned back in the chair. “Do you remember what I told you two years ago?”

I didn’t know what he was referring to, so I let him continue.

“I told you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

I felt like a ton of bricks just fell on top of me. I didn’t realize I had suppressed these memories so deep inside for two years now.

“I never regretted saying that to you.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I was happy for you and Chris, but I never stopped thinking about you. I tried to move on,” he paused and diverted his eyes for a second. “But, nothing made me feel like the way I feel with you right now. So, I stayed away. I knew I needed space and all of this happened… and Jules,” he sounded helpless and frustrated. “I don’t know why I still feel like this.”

A short pause.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. I should have seen the signs. It was true that Seb was busy the past two years with various projects he was working on, but I didn’t know that it was intentional.

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing.”

“It’s my fault.”

“Dammit, Jules. I fell in love with you, how is it your fault?” He asked, raising his voice.

“Because I should’ve seen the signs because I should’ve talked with you to give you the closure you deserved, because I was selfish and adamant on keeping you as a friend, because…” Then, my voice finally gave out. I couldn’t say anything else. I bit my lip to stop myself from becoming a mess. I didn’t want to make this harder on him.

He clenched his jaw and got up from his seat. He crossed over and knelt down next to me. “Hey,” he whispered. I looked down at him and he put his hand over mine on my lap. “I still love Chris like family and I will continue to love you no matter what happens. The bond I have with you and Chris is beyond all of this. Nothing in the world is going to change that.”

I nodded.

“Do you know how you smile around Chris?”

I was confused. I couldn’t follow what point he was trying to make.

“You look at him like you would love him even if someone told you that you would lose everything you have. When you’re around him, you trace him with your eyes. Your gaze never leaves him.”

His shoulders dropped. “You deserve that happiness, Julie.”

“But, I can’t do that Seb,” I said. “I can’t just go back to what Chris and I had.”

“You can,” he replied. “I told him that if he doesn’t beg for forgiveness, I’m going to take you away from him.” He smiled, “I promised him that I was going to take you far away so he can’t ever find you.”  

My heart pained to see him smile and joke like that. I pulled him in and rested my head on his messy head. My tears rolled down the side of my face and onto his soft hair. He leaned in and rested his head on my lap. “It’s late. I know. But, I love you, Julie.”

“Me too,” I whispered as I kissed the top of his head.

TAGLIST FAM: @thinkxlovexloud | @biba3434

[bnrobertson1]

Best Tunes of ‘19

Albums:

10. Squid- Town Centre - 4 songs, the first of which is a mood-setting throwaway. But the rest- especially the one-two punch of “Match Bet” and the funk by way of Parquet Courts of “The Cleaner”- make it easily one of the most exciting debuts in recent memory. I look forward to their LP- and obsessing over this band for years to come. (Song: “Match Bet”)

9. Weyes Blood- Everyday- Alternating between lush and orchestral Sufjan-isms and quiet and direct, well, Sufjan-isms, this album makes a definitive statement of the boundlessness of Blood’s talents.  (Song: “Everyday”)

8. Malibu Ken- S/T- The matching of Aesop Rock’s hyper-verbose lyrics and TOBACCO’s warped soundscapes proves alchemic, especially for two artists known for their eccentricities. (Song: “Acid King”)

7. Thee Oh Sees- Face Stabber- If you don’t like them, 22-minute jam “Henchlock” won’t convince you. But for us knuckleheads, there are few things as life-affirming. (Song: “Fu Xi”)

6. Crumb- Jinx- A surprisingly underloved debut, I (think I) hear in this neo-psych-soul group what others do the XX. (Song: “Nina”)

5. Fountaines DC- Dogrel- Seeing these intense Irishmen live I had no idea their album would have the nuance it does (both verbal and sonic), all-the-while never losing an ounce of that hypnotic feral focus (Song: “Boys in the Better Land”)

4. Nolan Potter’s Nightmare Band- Nightmare Forever- I’ve gushed about this band to anybody who’ll hear it but the record itself is far more convincing. (Song: “Seahorse Retreat”)

3. Purple Mountains- S/T- While it’s impossible now to listen to it without thinking “suicide note,” it’s still about as beautiful a send-off from this mortal coil as could be written. (Song: “She’s Making Friends, I’m Turning Stranger”)

2. DIIV- Decider- In many ways the yin to Purple Mountains yang, Smith & co. dealt with similar demons by changing styles (yet again) and reaching for Guitar God glory (they achieve it: see “Skin Game”)

1. Mike Krol- Power Chords- Every decade needs its own Blue Album and the ‘10s finally got theirs with these eleven tunes of rowdy, joyous heartbreak. (Song: “Left For Dead”)

Shows:

12. Rolling Stones- Reliant Stadium (Houston)- It wasn’t without disappointment (“Heartbreaker,” indeed), but they hit the highs when they needed to, and their scorching “Midnight Rambler” made you debate buying tickets for their 2039 tour now. 

11. Iron Maiden- AT & T Center (San Antonio)- What can you say about a concert that featured Bruce Dickinson sword fighting a 15-foot tall skeleton? (Besides “awesome” about 100 times, as a I did) The show that made me debate burning all of my clothes and exclusively buying tight black jeans and white high top 80s Nikes. 

10. Bob Seger- Frank Erwin Center- Not the coolest concert by a long shot, but easily one of the year’s best. MAGA Hats were present (not a problem per se, just noticeable to someone who mostly attends shows that could be subtitled “Fuck Donald Trump”), but so was the fire inside the 73 year old Seger’s soul. A small aside: my personal favorite part of the show was the kind of uninteresting anecdotes he’d tell during songs. Example: “Against the Wind” is about how he would literally run against the wind in high school track. That’s it.

9. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard- Stubb’s- These Australian rockers have been permanent fixtures in my headphones since I first saw their name 6/7 years ago. This was the live show where it all really came together to me (even if many of the attractive people there were confused/ intimidated by the thrash of their newest album). 

8.  Peter Hook and the Light- Emo’s- A concert I almost skipped after a weekend full of Levitation, this set full of New Order songs (including a front-to-back of their classic Technique) was the best Monday show I’ve ever attended.  

7. Nolan Potter’s Nightmare Band- Hotel Vegas- a nine-piece psych band fronted by a polymath flutist, this band is for lovers of 70s Rock (any/ all of it). Their live show, faithfully captured on their debut album, feels like the past and future simultaneously in the best way possible. 

6. Thee Oh Sees- 2nd Night- Hotel Vegas- No song touches “I Come from the Mountain” as an opener in its effectiveness to make your blood vessels turn into the autobahn.  

5. DIIV- Mohawk- It felt like a triumphant exclamation point to their newest album. Also, “Under the Sun” remains one of the prettiest songs ever written. 

4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Moody Theater- Entered drenched with rain, left drenched with sweat.  

3. Chemical Brothers- Bill Graham Arena (SF)- I’ll spare you the specifics but had a spiritual epiphany with “The Private Psychedelic Reel.” The best combo visuals/ music I may have ever seen?

2. Stereolab- Paper Tiger (San Antonio)- The first of three shows, I’ve been working on a larger piece to discuss the entire experience, but I’ll say that crowd members were profusely thanking the band in between songs- I’ve seen thousands of concerts and never seen that happen before.  

1. Beak>/ TOBACCO - Empire Control Room (Levitation Fest)-  I’ve long dug their music videos, but I had no clue Beak> was that fantastic live. A minimal mix of krautrock and trip hop, I vividly remember looking around for about 25 seconds when they started “The Meader,” (featuring the best baseline of the young century) making sure I wasn’t hallucinating this moody masterpiece. (I wasn’t). “RSI” is as good a song as anything Neu! wrote. On a personal note, I saw this show the day after getting some rough news and it reminded me of music’s curative powers, full stop (”RSI,” man, “RSI”). That said, I hope there is little footage of the concert because to say I was dancing a fool would be an insult to fools everywhere. Plus, I got to meet the incredibly friendly, funny Geoff Barrow, an experience I’ll forget about as soon as I forget the concert (read: never). 

[carry-the-sky]

karen runs.

(for the lovely @thestarsbeyondthestorms and @edourado​, who requested ‘things you said with too many miles between us’ and ‘things you said on the phone at 4am’. UH THIS PROMPT COMBO. RIP ME. also posted on ao3.)

She’s had a bag packed since Fisk moved out of prison and into the penthouse. All she has to do is use it.

.

.

There are flowers, on the kitchen table. White roses. Not the ones he’d given her, but they may as well be. She can’t buy flowers anymore without thinking of him.

They catch her eye as she’s hugging Foggy, and she feels the breath leave her lungs, swooping out in the space between heartbeats. Tensile strength, she thinks. Kevin was taking AP Physics the year he died, the year she killed him. She remembers helping him study. Ultimate tensile strength, he’d recited from his flashcards, measured by the maximum amount of stress an object can withstand without breaking —

Karen leaves, and doesn’t look back.

.

.

She uses her credit card to buy a southbound bus ticket to Baltimore, hopes the paper trail will buy her a little time. Fisk and his goons have probably already started sniffing her out, but she’ll be long gone by the time they catch on.

She’s heard the Rockies are beautiful this time of year.

.

.

The plan is to lay low. The plan is to limit contact with other people, as much as possible. The plan is —

“This seat is — taken?”

Karen glances up. The woman staring down at her from the aisle reminds her sharply of Mrs. Cardenas — same toothy smile, same hopeful eyes, and Karen feels like her chest cavity has been scooped hollow.

“Uh — no,” she hears herself say. “Not taken.”

Karen left a lot behind in New York, but her inquisitive tendencies have stuck. It’s not long before she knows more than she probably should about her seatmate — Sofía Rosales, sixty-seven years young, three grandchildren with a fourth on the way. She talks with her hands and very kindly doesn’t laugh at Karen’s mangled Spanish. Karen likes her immediately, and that’s when the sirens start going off in her head, that’s when everything starts spiraling. She ruins everyone she touches, no matter her intentions, even when she tries to be kind and good, even when she tries to do the right thing it all goes wrong —

(That’s what you do, Karen. That’s what you do.)

She switches seats in the middle of the night and doesn’t talk to Mrs. Rosales again.

.

.

Karen ditched her phone before she left, but she has a few numbers memorized. Ellison, Matt, Foggy, home.

David Lieberman.

She’s not sure why his number stuck, but it’s there, burned into her hippocampus. Just one of the many details she learned about him while digging for info for Frank.

She has an hour to herself in the station in Columbus, where she’s transferring buses, so she slides into the nearest coffee shop and fidgets with the burner in her pocket, to give her hands something to do. Flips it open, then shut again. Open, shut.

She thinks of the elevator — him leaning into her, closing his eyes and aligning his breath with hers, all those unsaid things in that quiet cocoon of space — and laughs aloud.

And she sort of owes him, right? For saving her life. She owes it to him to let him know it wasn’t for nothing, that she is, in fact, still breathing.

There’s an open single seat in the very back of the new bus. She sinks into it, waits until they’re on the highway again before punching in David’s number with shaking fingers.

“Hello?”

It takes a second for her lungs to catch up with her brain. “Hello, David?” she croaks. “Is this David Lieberman?”

There’s a slight pause. “Who’s calling?”

She should hang up, now. Trash the burner, never, ever, do something this fucking stupid ever again —

“Karen?”

Every muscle in her body tenses. He sounds uncertain, but there’s something about his voice, even over the phone. Something layered beneath. Karen doesn’t know much about this guy, but he seems like the type of person who wouldn’t ask a question he doesn’t already know the answer to.

She blows out a breath. “Yes. Jesus, you’re good.”

“Holy shit. Holy— shit, it’s good to hear from you.”

“I guess you know why I’m calling, then.”

"Yeah,” David huffs out a laugh, “yeah, I have a pretty good idea. I gotta tell you, Karen, our mutual friend has been, ahh, more of a pain in the ass than usual, as of late. I’m sure you can relate.”

She’s gripping the phone so tightly her tendons are starting to burn. There’s breath somewhere in her body, right? Beneath her ribs, maybe, threaded through the struts of bone. She just has to find it. Just take a breath, Karen, just one.

“Our — friend,” she says carefully, past the lump in her trachea. “I need you to let him know that I’m okay. I’m just taking some time, away from the city. But I’m alright. If you could tell Fra —” she squeezes her eyes shut. “If you could tell him that, I would really appreciate it.”

“Karen, hey —”

“Thanks, David,” she says, and hangs up.

.

.

She’s fine.

.

.

After two nights on the bus, Karen decides she needs some actual sleep. She finds the cheapest motel she can and collapses once she’s in the room, asleep before she can even take off her coat or shoes.

She dreams about Fisk, then Kevin, and jolts awake long before the sun comes up.

There’s a pad of paper in the nightstand. You’re okay, she scribbles out, over and over.

You’re okay.

.

.

He’s never far from her thoughts. She knew she wouldn’t miss him like she misses Matt and Foggy — he exists in her mind in splinters, a kaleidoscope of sounds and images and feelings that she can’t quite piece together. She knows who Frank Castle is from a distance. It’s when she looks closer that everything gets blurry.

.

.

She cycles through her burners. The one she’d used to call David stays in the bottom of her duffel. She hasn’t turned it back on since then, but she can’t make herself get rid of it, either.

She calls Foggy, once, in a moment of weakness. The line rings and rings and she hangs up before he can answer.

She wonders if loneliness can actually kill someone.

.

.

They ride the bus with her, sometimes.

Kevin pops up the most. The first time, he’s hunched over his guitar, the one mom had given him before she died. He’s picking the strings randomly, strumming chords to life that Karen swears she’s never heard before.

“Stop showing off,” she jabs.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t have a musical bone in your body,” he smiles, not looking up.

“Ouch. Where’d you learn to be so mean, kid?”

Now he snaps his eyes up. “I’m not a kid.” 

You are, she thinks. You’re just a kid, you’re so, so young. Your whole life is there, just waiting for you to fill it —

Paxton visits occasionally. He never says anything, just sits and stares out the window. They’re driving through Kansas now, nothing but grass and plains for the past day and a half. Karen wonders if her father is thinking what she’s thinking when he looks out, if he’s wondering what it would be like walk off into the sun and dust, feet to the horizon.

“Hey.”

(It says something about the state of her life that Frank’s voice does something to her, even when it’s in her head.)

“You found me,” she says, not turning. She sees him in the window, his reflection distorted slightly.

“Thought I wouldn’t?”

“Hoped.”

He rumbles a laugh between his teeth. “You know me better than that, Miss Page.”

“Why,” she says, “why are you always here?”

“I just got here, Karen, what’re you —”

“I mean, in my life.” She looks at him, finally, taking his face in like she always does in case this is the last time she sees him. “Every time you leave, you come back. I’m tired of trying to figure out why, Frank, so if you could just fucking tell me —”

His hand is warm as he slips it through hers. She can almost feel the calluses on his fingers.

“You mean somethin’ to me,” he says. “Don’t you know that?”

He’s gone, when she looks again.

.

.

She runs until she hits mountains. Denver seems as good a place as any to stop, at least for a little while. There’s people here, not like New York, but enough for her to blend in, go unnoticed. Just one face in a million.

She finds an apartment and scoops up a night shift at a local bakery. It feels good, working with her hands. Making things instead of ripping them apart.

Time passes. Karen tries counting the days at first, but soon loses track. Weeks, months. She’s still here. She’s still here.

.

.

I killed him, she growls at Wilson Fisk, again and again. Sometimes it’s him. Sometimes it’s Kevin, or Ben, or Mrs. Cardenas, or —

She’s not sure she knows who she’s hiding from, anymore.

.

.

It had to happen, eventually. A material can only be stretched so far until —

.

.

She shouldn’t do it. She knows —but she’s starting to forget people. The color of their eyes, the sound of their voices. She just needs something, something to remind her she used to have people in her life who knew her real name, who cared she existed.

She calls home.

A strange voice answers. “Hello?”

“Uh—” she sputters, thrown off. “Hi, I’m — I’m looking for Paxton Page?”

“Shit, I really need to get this number changed. He moved, about, oh, a month and a half ago? Doesn’t live here anymore.”

The pit of her stomach turns to ice. “He — he moved? He’s gone?”

“Yeah. Think he said he was going out of state, too. Didn’t leave a forwarding address, though. Sorry I can’t be of more help.”

Karen sinks, melts into the floor, lets the phone slide out from between her fingers. Stupid, stupid. He told her himself, all those years ago. I don’t want you here, Karen. She thought, maybe, maybe if enough time passed, maybe the wound would start to scab over. Maybe he’d change his mind, and they could try to be some semblance of a family again.

I don’t want you here, he said, but what he meant was —

I don’t want you.

“Fuck,” she whispers to herself, the empty room, the universe. Anyone who’s listening. The answering silence is what finally does it. She unravels, slow tears at first that quickly devolve into throaty, heaving sobs that rock up the length of her spine, fan out across her shoulders, rip through bone and marrow and every little thing that’s holding her together.

She cries until she can’t anymore.

.

.

Karen blinks and the world pieces itself together. Floor, beneath her, every muscle in her body protesting loudly as she rolls into supine. Her brain feels like it’s bursting out of her skull. She must have slept here. It’s still dark — just before four a.m., the clock on her nightstand says.

C’mon, Karen. Sit up. Just sit up.

It’s muscle memory, after that. Stand, shuffle over to the sink, splash water on face.

Cross the room, dig through the duffel in the back of the closet. Find his burner.

It’s muscle memory, switching it on.

He calls less than a minute later.

“Karen? Karen —”

“Hey, Frank,” she says.

He makes a fractured noise on the other end. “She’s here, Lieberman, she’s — christ, Karen, you’re here, I can’t — you’re okay?”

“No,” she says with a low laugh. “But I’m here.”

“I’ll take it,” he says. “It’s — shit, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“I’m sorry, Frank.” She sinks her fingers into her hair. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t do that. You don’t do that with me, you got it? Jesus, Karen, I — I thought that was it. Thought—” he goes quiet, and she can almost see him tilting his head down, working his jaw. She can almost imagine wrapping her arms around him, her chin on his shoulder and her hands in his hair, the smell of him, how he feels pressed against her, warm and safe.

“I miss you,” she says.

She hears him pull a ragged breath between his teeth. “You have no idea, Page.”

Her fingers are wet, when she swipes at her face. “I don’t — know what to do. I don’t know what to do, Frank, please tell me, because I can’t do this, I can’t.”

“I’m here, Karen.” His voice swells, crests like a wave, and she realizes he’s crying, too. “Right here, yeah? I’m here, always.”

Just take a breath, Karen. Just breathe.

In, out, in again — and across the miles, she can hear Frank breathing, with her.

[ainstgirl]

THE SOLDIER AND HIS CAPTAIN  (4/6)

Summary: It’s your first day at the academy where you’ll become a soldier.  The academy is already difficult but even more so when you are a woman and you have Sergeant Hanks as Captain, luckily another captain will help you overcome the challenges. I’m very bad with  summaries, just give it a try.  English is my third language so im sorry if there’s any misspelling.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Your whole body hurts from yesterday's exercise. You had fallen asleep so you had missed breakfast, thankfully Lily brought you something to eat. You just wanted to stay in bed but today you had an important meeting. Everyone stand up when Captain Rogers enters the room. As soon as you see him, the memory of the blonde woman in his bed comes to you. God, you have to forget about him. "Today we have a new mission, these men" Several photos of men appear on the screen "they are planning an attack in New York, our mission is to infiltrate and discover where they intend to attack, these men will be in different buildings so we will form pairs and we'll infiltrate, we don't want to attract  attention, if you see that you are going to be discovered you abort the mission" he takes a moment before continuing "Frank, Josh, Mark and Joey this man will be your target, in this file you have all the information you will need, Lily, you will go with Sam, he will inform you of everything" "who's Sam?" Lily asks. "Sam Wilson, he will help us in this mission" Steve explains. "OMG i'm going to a mission with Falcon" Lily says excitedly. "And Y/N you'll go with me" He gives you a file "here you have all the information" Great, how are you supposed to forget about him if you have to spend the night with him? "he will be at a party at his house, I left a dress in your room ... Natasha has chosen it, I think it will be your size" "I'm going to read the report" Great now you have to wear the dress that the girlfriend has chosen for you. "I'll pick you up in 20 minutes, we'll talk about the details on the way to the party" he says before going to talk to other soldiers. 

"I can't believe I'm going on a mission with Sam Wilson!!!" Lily screams when she enters the room.

"I did not know you were a fan" you say.

"he's hot" She stops when she sees you "you look amazing!" "thanks" Captain America's girlfriend has good taste, It is a bit tight and short of what you are used to but it is beautiful. "You'll have Steve Rogers distracted all night" You were going to say something when someone knocked on your door. "Y/N are you... ready?" Steve seems surprised when you open the door. "yes, i'm ready for the mission" you say grabbing your bag "good"  he says and you would have sworn to have seen him blush. "be careful" You hug Lily before leaving "Don't worry, she'll be fine, she'll be with Sam" Steve smiles at you as he opens the car door for you. The party must be close if he was driving. "so... what's the plan?" you asks. "we are a couple" You almost choke when you hear him say that but he continues explaining the plan "here I have the invitations for the party at his house, in his office he has to have the plans of where he wants to attack, once we know where, we leave" "sounds good" you say looking out the window, it seems that his mission is to torture you, you try to forget him but you can't do it if you have to act like his girlfriend.

40 minutes later you arrive at the party. "Are you sure they won’t recognize you?" you say getting out of the car, Steve had dyed his hair dark, people usually know him blond and without a beard but he had been letting his beard grow for weeks, maybe for this mission. "I guess we're going to find out" Steve puts his arm so you can grab him. Steve was right, they didn’t recognize him. "this house is huge where do we start?" you say it in a low voice. "we have to dance first" He says surprising you. "what?"  "we have to act normally, we can't arrive and start looking, we have to be seen together" he explains.

The room was full of couples dancing, Steve places his hand on your waist and you put yours around his neck. "I had never danced like that" you admit. "Just follow my steps, it's easy" he says smiling seeing you nervous "you look beautiful Y/N" he says. "Your girlfriend has good taste" You say jealous. "my girlfriend?" He says confused. "Natasha" you say still dancing. "she's not my girlfriend, she's the black widow" he says with a big smile. "she's not? wait... you mean the black widow?" God, you are stupid. "Did you think she was my girlfriend?  Banner would kill me" Having this conversation while you were dancing with him was not a good idea. You were sure you were flushed "but your right, she has good taste, that dress suits you very well" "It's a little short for my liking" you see how Steve bites his lip when you talk about how short the dress is. "you're perfect...the dress, the dress is perfect" he explains quickly "They have already seen us dance, we have to ... find his office" he says taking a step back. "Of course, the mission..." For a moment you had forgotten the real reason why you were dancing with him.

You and Steve go upstairs where the rooms were. You enter several rooms but you can’t find anything, at least until you enter the last room, his office. "we have to hurry" he says searching in his desk. "Wait, there is something here" you say and Steve approaches you "information about the hours with the most passengers in Grand Central Station, there are pictures of the whole station....the security cameras and the guards are marked with an x" "We already know where they are going to attack, but when?" Steve asks next to you. "i don't know..." You were looking for more information when you hear the door open. You don’t give Steve a chance to say anything when you kiss him. He only takes a second to surround you with his arms and correspond the kiss. "what are you doing here? You can't be here" says the man you're investigating. "oh my god..." You say embarrassed walking away from Steve "We just wanted to be alone, you know" You say acting. "get out" he says angry. "Sorry about this, we're leaving" Steve speaks for the first time. Steve takes your hand to leave the room and does not let go until you get in the car.

"that was close..." you say to Steve. "luckily for us you think fast" "yeah... about that...i'm sorry i just..." you start to say. "No, It was a good kiss"  You see how Steve blushes when he realizes what he has said "i mean that it was a good idea" "yeah... it was" you say biting your lip, now it was going to be impossible to forget him, not after that kiss "At least now we know where they are going to attack" "yes, but we don’t know when" he says with a frown. "Actually ... I think I know when they will attack" He looks at you surprised "I found a train ticket for the 27th and that date was marked on the desk calendar" you explain. "you are amazing Y/N" You have never seen him smile like that. The rest of the trip to the base you spend it in silence, you don't know what he is thinking about, but you can't stop thinking about that kiss. "You've been incredible tonight, thanks to you we're going to avoid the attack"  he says opening the car door. "save lives, that's our job....good night Captain Rogers" You say closing the door.

Steve was going to take care of delivering the information that you had found so you go to your room where Lily was already waiting for you. "OMG Y/N i think i'm in love with Sam" she says when you enter. "what? what happend with the mission?" "the mission went well, we don’t know where they are going to attack but we know where the bombs come from but there was a man who was bothering me and before I could show him my fist “she smiles” Sam starts hitting him, it was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life" she says fanning himself with her hands. "Are you drunk?" Her breath smelled of alcohol. "Noo...Well a little bit" she says laughing "Sam insisted we had to celebrate" "Okey, why don't you go to bed? we'll talk tomorrow" You say covering her with a blanket. Two seconds later she was already snoring. You were jealous of how easy she falls asleep,  because once again you were in the training room practicing your punches. You couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, how you felt when you were in his arms.

"we have to stop meeting here" Steve says scaring you. "shit... you scared me" "language" he says with a smile. "what are you doing here?"  you dry the sweat on your forehead. "i culdn't sleep" he says. "me neither... Lily is drunk" "Sam is also drunk, I've left him sleeping in my room, I think Sam likes Lily" he says. "i know for sure that Lily likes Sam.... but that would be inappropriate, we can't have relationships with superiors." You almost want to laugh at the situation, talking about the feelings of others instead of yours. "What a stupid rule" Steve was staring at you. "lenguage" you joke. "I had a great time tonight, it's been a long time since I danced with someone" he says. "I had a great time too" You remain silent, It seems that he wanted to tell you something but seeing that he doesn’t say anything.... "I leave you alone so you can train" you add. "actually... i wanted to ask you..." Steve seems nervous  "the thing is that...The other day Nat gave me some advice and I think I should listen to her" "okay..." yo say confussed. "At times like these I would like to be able to get drunk" Suddenly Steve shortens the distance that separates you and kisses you , the kiss was short but intense "I'm sorry if..." but you shut him with a kiss, this time the kiss is more intense, he clings to your body as if you were to disappear if he let go. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time" you admit.

"me too... I know I shouldn't feel this way, I'm your superior and there are rules ... but I can't help it, since I saw you the first day I can't stop thinking about you" He says before kissing you again. "What impressed you the most, that I couldn't do the push-ups that Captain Hanks ordered or the beating that Frank gave me?" you say biting your lip. "I had to control myself to not throw him against the wall when I separated him from you" he says caressing your face. "so... what now?" you asks. "We have to see each other in secret, at least until the end of this year....if you want this ... well, I should have asked and not take it for granted ...." he says nervously, apparently Steve Rogers speaks fast when he is nervous. "yes...we won't tell anyone" You caress his cheek before kissing him. "Today has been a long day, you should go to bed" he kisses you "I'll see you tomorrow in training" he says before kissing you again and you cant help but smile, Steve Rogers was kissing you, how was it possible? "good night Captain Rogers" you say goodbye to him, when you get to your room you're still smiling, thank goodness that Lily is still asleep or you could not hide that stupid smile.

MASTERLIST 

Part 5

[spideyyverse]

Grease! AU

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4

Chapter: 4/7

Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, Stan Uris, Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough, Audra Phillips

Pairings: Reddie, Stenbrough, Benverly, Madura (Audra x Mike)

Warnings: Homophobia, swearing, underage drinking and smoking

Word Count: 1,986

Author Notes: Chapters will be based on a song from the movie, I’m not sure I’ll do each song but if there’s a specific song you would like me to include, let me know in my ask box!

Also, the losers are very ooc. I understand they’re nothing like the way I’m portraying them in my story. Please do not get angry for the way I’m writing them, it’s solely apart of this au and this is not how I actually view them.

MAJOR NOTE: I’m so so sorry it’s taken me weeks to update, I recently just returned to school and things have been hectic. I’ll try my best to write more frequently but updates may be slow. I haven’t been too active on my account recently, I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Tags: @universal-gay 

This song was featured during the school dance scene. The original singer is Frank Sinatra but the band covered it.

------------------------------------------------------------

Blue moon You saw me standing alone Without a dream in my heart Without a love of my own

Eddie--Nor Richie-- didn’t intend for anything to happen that summer leading up to now. It wasn’t like Eddie wanted to visit Derry in the first place, but the constant “Eddie Bear you need to visit!” and “Your aunties miss you!” from his aunts irritated him to the point where he booked the flights to Derry himself. After a long and extremely worded lecture (and a lot of yelling) from Sonia Kaspbrak, both of them set off on a summer that would change everything.

Now don’t get Eddie wrong, he loved his aunts to death (and would much rather live with them than that momster), but he couldn’t take an entire summer of endless cheek pinches and sloppy kisses on the cheek. He knew he had to make the most of his time so he may as well explore the town--Not that there’s was much to explore anyway.  

It wasn’t until he found himself walking through a forest that lead him to a quarry. He found himself not staring at the summer day in front of him, not the way water sparkled nor the way the soft summer breeze blew every now and then. No, he found himself staring the boy in front of him. He didn’t understand why, he only knew what the back of the boy looked liked. For all Eddie could know, this boy could be a serial killer. Maybe he was surprised that someone was here, someone was in this dead beat town. 

After an awkward greeting--well mainly awkward for Eddie, Richie didn’t seem to ever stop talking once he uttered a noise--Eddie found himself falling easily for a boy he’d only known for what? An hour? Or could it have been six? Richie truly didn’t know when to stop talking, but Eddie loved it.

It was a shock to Eddie that Richie had a loud personality. He’s never one to judge so quickly but Eddie found the boy sitting by himself, listening to Africa by Toto, while smoking. He seemed like a loner. 

“Says Eds, tell me something,” Richie spoke slightly lowering the radio.

“Yeah?” Eddie looked up, “Also, stop calling me Eds,” He quickly added.

“Cute! Cute! Cute!” Richie leaned over and pinched his cheeks, “Ever been in love?”

Eddie practically choked on air but it did get him thinking, has he ever been in love? Sure he’s had a couple of boys here and there, some relationships lasting longer than others, but he’s never actually been in love. Maybe some feelings towards his previous boyfriends had been stronger than others but nothing to ever consider being in love. Love was almost foreign to him.

“No,” Eddie broke the silence but continued, “My turn to ask you a question!”

“Hit me with it spageds,” Richie chuckled, taking a puff from his cigarette.

“Spageds? That’s the best you can do?”

“It’s a work in progress.”

Eddie took a deep breath but bit back a smile anyways, “As someone who’s only been visiting for two days, do you ever think about leaving this town? I mean, there’s nothing here.” Eddie looked around the quarry.

“No.” Richie simply replied.

“No?” 

“I’ve never thought about it. Not until now anyways,” Eddie patiently waited for Richie to continue, “I’ve never thought about it because I didn’t need to. I’ve never had anything to run towards but now, today in this very moment, I know where I need to run to,” 

“Where?”

“You.”

Blue moon You knew just what I was there for You heard me saying a prayer for Someone I really could care for

It was finally the day of the dance. Most high schools would get into the spirit, hanging posters and the constant PA reminders that ticket sales go up every week. However, Derry high had been nominated by a TV station to host a dance competition during the event. Eddie didn’t pay much attention to the eagerness from everyone at school, it was something about the two winners getting a pretty big money prize. But in all honesty, Eddie could care less. He was more worried about being outed to the entire school--and on national television to make matters worse.

 Eddie was not--and will never--be ashamed for being gay. Richie neither will ever be ashamed to be bisexual but living in a conservative town where almost everyone will absolutely shit on you for being anything less than straight can be alarming--to say the least.

As much as both boys wanted to hold onto each other and dance together just like every other straight couple, it just wasn’t possible. 

Both boys walked into the gym, their entire ensemble of the Pink Ladies and T-Birds following right behind them. 

“Says Eds, how about I get us some punch?” Richie awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“As long as you don’t spike it Tozier,” 

Richie smirked, “Can’t make any promises my love!” He walked away with a wink, giving Eddie the familiar feeling of butterflies in his tummy.

“Everything all right Bev?” Ben asked. Bev sticked out like a sore thumb, a hair wrap was around her head. Whatever she was trying to hide, wasn’t subtle at all. 

“Peachy Benjamin,”

“Bev?” Eddie slowly asked.

“Eddie I’m fine! Everything is alright!” Bev tried to reassure the boys but failed. Bev ended up stomping away to the bathroom with a poor Ben following behind in her in hopes to cheer her up.

Eddie went ahead and found a table large enough to hold the nine leaving the remaining four at the entrance of the dance. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the group. 

While Audra and Mike were a happy couple, that still didn’t stop them from being racially discriminated against. It took Mike ages to convince his parents to let him go to public school once homeschooling for middle school ended. He didn’t realize exactly why his parents didn’t want him going to public school once he experienced how cruel kids can be. Being in the T-Birds gave him a place, but he still felt he could be much more than this.

Audra was Mexican (A/N: There’s not enough latinx representation nowadays so I’m making Audra Mexican-American. Also ya girl is Mexican so this is me trying to live through my stories.), both of her parents were immigrants, but Audra herself was born in America but being the daughter of the only two Mexicans living in an almost-all white conservative town was more than difficult. 

Being something other than white or straight instantly made you a bad person. No one could look past your skin color or your sexuality, they define you because of that. They don’t define you because of who you are. 

While Audra and Mike got nasty and dirty looks from practically the entire gym, they pushed it to aside and let themselves be together. 

This wasn’t the case for Stan and Bill.

While most of the school suspected Stan liked boys, they couldn’t think the same for Bill. It was one thing to suspect but to completely out someone is another thing. 

Stan was the rabbi’s son, he had to live up to expectations. If his father even heard a word about Stan being gay, it was over. 

Bill was close with his parents, but he still hasn’t come out to them--thinking of the idea scares him. His little brother Georgie on the other hand, he knew. When Georgie was nine, he found a fourteen year old Bill crying in the middle of the night. After a long talk and explanation of what being pansexual meant, Georgie was quick to accept him. Now being twelve, Georgie still loved his older brother with everything inside of him.

Despite the rabbi’s son, Stan himself was never religious. Sure, he attended every ceremony at the temple and even read from the torah at his bar mitzfah, but he was required to do that. Stan wasn’t religious, but if there was just one thing he could pray for, he would pray for Bill. He would pray to find happiness with Bill. 

From the corner of his eye, he could see Henry and his gang smirking at them. Bill seemed to notice this because he quickly made his way over to the table. 

If a prayer truly worked, Stan was praying for a miracle. 

And then there suddenly appeared before me The only one my arms will hold I heard somebody whisper please adore me And when I looked to the moon it turned to gold

The TV crew had been setting up for the big competition, people lining up at the restrooms to fix themselves up while others began to make their way towards the dance floor. 

“Hey Eds! We should join!” Richie suggested.

“Sure if you want the entire country to find out we like dick,” Eddie remarked then continued, “And stop calling me Eds!”

“Aw yeah! Spaghetti man with the dick jokes!”

“Beep beep Tozier.”

“Hey! Hey!” Richie put his hands up in defense, “You’re technically not wrong but that’s not the point. We don’t need to get up in each others ass to win the competition--I’ve already got your mom for that--the teachers will be on us if we even try. It’s disco isn’t it? We don’t need to do anything couply we just need to do something entertaining.”

“I hate the fact that you actually have a brain in that head of yours.” Eddie sighed while Richie smiled. 

“What should-” 

“Richie!” A voice squeaked from behind.

Richie whipped around and saw his ex girlfriend heading towards him, her arm locked around the one and only Henry Bowers.

“Greta, hi.” Richie clenched his teeth together and took a deep breath.

“Who’s this?” Eddie whispered from behind Richie. 

“Hi hun, I’m Greta,” She stuck her hand out in front of Eddie the continued, “I’m sure Richie has told you how great I am in bed?” She sneered.

“He would have told me if you really were,” Eddie muttered under his breath. Both Greta and Richie heard this, Greta bit back the urge to launch herself at Eddie while Richie tried to subtly hide his laugh with a cough. 

“See you in the competition Richie-kins!” She blew a kiss towards his direction and dragged Henry away.

“Richie-kins?”

“Let’s not talk about it.”

“Ladies and gentlemen! Gather around! Our annual high school dance off is about to begin!”

Everyone gathered with their respective pair and waited until the principle stopped talking about the rules. 

The principle finally walked off stage and the music began. Some couples were immediately eliminated while others tried to out-dance other couples. Some couples went for a simple attempt at the disco while others went for hand-jives. 

The cameras were going around the dance floor, people tried to make their selves seen but were removed from the floor. Eddie could feel himself getting more and more nervous as the camera got closer. Richie didn’t seem to care, he was in his element. As the camera reached the two boys, Eddie instantly made a B-line for anywhere but the camera. 

Richie’s face dropped, he tried to follow Eddie but was stopped when someone pushed him back. This ‘someone’ happened to be Greta herself.

“Where you doing handsome?” Greta whispered.

The pair were one of the only few standing left and it didn’t help that the host was encouraging them to dance while pointing the camera at them. Richie had no other choice but to finish the competition with a new partner. He seemed to forget about Eddie in that moment, but Eddie most certainly didn’t forget. He saw the whole ordeal go down. 

Eddie ran out of the high school gym and ran all the way straight home. 

[ilistenedin]

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

When I’m high sometimes. And sometimes when I’m really low.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Like a 4

3. The person you would never want to meet?

A right wing conservative. Or myself.

4. What is your favorite word?

I don’t know that I have one.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A dead one

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“Fat”

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A homemade Asajj Ventress tank top

8. What do you label yourself as?

A fucking mess

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dim

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Talking to Lauryn I think

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

13 was lit

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Dani, I think

13. Your worst enemy?

Me, myself, and I, baby

14. What is your current desktop picture?

I don’t have a computer. But when I did, it was Ahsoka Tano vs Darth Vader

15. Do you like someone?

Yes, very much

16. The last song you listened to?

Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I wouldn’t

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Myself

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Any right wing conservative. Clean my fucking apartment top to bottom. And my car.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

I like my ears and my thumbs

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would probably look the same but with a beard, flat chest, and penis. I would pee standing up. And jerk offs. And walk around at 3am. And attempt to have sex w someone.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I cannot think of one

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Butterflies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

That is an extremely unfair question.

But I guess if I have to choose; a fried egg sandwich on a Cuban bread roll with breakfast sausage, cheddar cheese, and white sausage gravy.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Probably on food

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

France

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

That is also a very hard question. I cannot think of a brand specific but like a sour fruit beer probably.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

No right wing conservatives.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Cunt.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

I’m taking two, idgaf; my MCR hoodie and my MCR Frank Iero Black Parade mask/coffin

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Well. To not be too detailed. A certain day in 6th grade.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

This isn’t A question?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

I guess if it has to be a person I would bring back my great grandma. If it could be any being, I would bring back Kratos and Artemis.

34. What was your last dream about?

Pulsating lights, colors, and sounds

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Person? Debatable

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yes

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I built a snow dick

38. What is the color of your socks?

Not wearing any rn

39. What type of music do you like?

Literally every kind

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Cookies and cream

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Patriots

43. Do you have any scars?

On my knee

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

This question does not apply to me

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

All of me. Throw the whole human away.

46. Are you reliable?

Not really

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Does it get better?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Not typically

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Fox and raccoon

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I can’t think of one

51. Are you a good liar?

Very

52. How long could you go without talking?

Days

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

I had a mullet my senior year of high school. I also had a rat tail thing in like 2011

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

No

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

I try lol

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter or cream cheese

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

I don’t remember

58. What would be you dream car?

Honda Civic or an Audi

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing, I dance, and cry. Almost every time I shower.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yes

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Yes

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

L

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

Not for me

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

No