#friendly reminder that I would play her as bi

[darthgloris]

Adorable

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x fem!Jedi!bi!reader

Summary: Luke and Y/N have had a special bond since she first found him unconscious on the Jundland wastes; however, their friendly thoughts about each other turn into deeper feelings soon enough, feelings that seem obvious to everyone but each other. Princess Leia has had enough of their obliviousness and, with the help of her counterpart Han Solo, decides to give them a little push in the right direction.

Warnings: set between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back so SPOILERS, fluff, romantic tension, sexual tension, Luke being a shy and rambling mess, bi!reader

A/N: I'm writing this fic for @c4m3r4m4n, who fell in love with an idea drafted up by @dailydragon08 (to whom I give credit for the plot of the fic, thank you very much). I hope you like it :) also it's been a while since I've published, I feel like the ancient one has been awoken 💀💀

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"I won't go easy on you, Skywalker." Y/N taunted, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

"I'm not asking you to." Luke countered with a smile, followed by the hum of his igniting weapon.

She smirked at his response, hoping that the duel would take his focus off her burning cheeks. The two bowed to each other and she didn't hesitate to deliver the first blow, raising her brows in surprise at how readily he lifted the weapon in front of him to block her. Y/N smiled as her green lightsaber clashed against her sparring partner's blue one, watching him deflect every strike with a look of concentration etched onto his face.

She was proud of how far Luke had come since he first held his father's lightsaber in his hands, nearly losing a limb to inexperience. He had made staggering progress in the last few months of training: looking back at the farm boy who almost chopped his arm off on accident, she noticed how he was slowly starting to rely on the Force as well as on his abilities, how he was starting to get out of his head and stop overthinking every single movement, every action and reaction.

Her gaze moved from their lightsabers to his face, the face that she adored so much. She adored his eyes that reminded her of the midwinter sky, holding the innocence of a young boy and an ever-present mischievous twinkle; his sandy blonde hair that drooped over his eyes when he looked down in shyness, a small smile playing at his lips; and most importantly, his heart of gold, his kindness, gentleness, and selflessness-

"Maker, are you all right?!" Luke exclaimed, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

Just then the pain in her hand registered in her brain, and she looked down to see a cut across her palm. It wasn't serious, just a small wound, but she found it cute that he worried so much.

"Luke, it's okay, it's just a cut," she said in an attempt to calm him. "I've hurt myself dozens of times before."

"But... but I'm the one who hurt you..." he mumbled, his sad puppy eyes looking up at her. "Come here, let me clean it."

"Really, Luke, it's fine-" she started.

"Please?" He pouted with genuine guilt in his eyes.

She couldn't say no to him. It just wasn't in her. "Okay."

He walked across the room while she sat down and he came back with a medikit. He knelt down in front of her, making her breath hitch in her throat. He started to tend to her wound carefully, holding her hand with a gentleness she had never been touched or treated with before. He dabbed a piece of cloth on her hand, looking at her in guilt whenever she flinched.

"Sorry about this," he mumbled, grabbing the disinfectant. "This is going to sting a bit."

She hissed as the chemicals dropped into her open skin while Luke mumbled apologies and soothing words.

"Oh, come on. It happens." She dismissed.

"Still, I feel bad. You know I'd never hurt you on purpose, right? Physically or otherwise." He stated.

She felt the butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the statement, the hope of her feelings towards him being reciprocated warming her heart. She mumbled an "I know" and looked at him, focused on the task at hand, his blonde locks flopping over his eyes. When he felt her gaze on him, he looked at her through his eyelashes, smiling softly at her to let her know he caught her staring. He shifted his gaze to her hand, hoping to hide the rosy blush creeping up on the apples of his cheeks, although he did so quick enough to miss her doing the same.

It was often that Luke got flustered when he was near her, and, even if he was very skilled at hiding it (at least from her), he never seemed to notice that she nearly always did the exact same thing. Every time he caught her staring, he felt his heart jump a little: it pleased him to know that she admired him, that she trusted him, that she cared for him. Whenever she would display any sort of affection towards him, he would feel a warm and tingly sensation spreading from his heart and tummy all the way to the tips of his fingers.

Luke was hopeful; most of the time he thought he was naive for believing a girl as wonderful and headstrong as Y/N could ever want a guy like him, so fragile and sensitive. He thought, no, he knew, that she was truly gorgeous, intelligent and strong-willed, and he also knew that she deserved much better than him, but he still wanted to make her happy and never once doubted his feelings for her.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, sensing his mind wandering.

"Not much. Just..." He hesitated to finish his sentence. "...thinking about Ben. I wish I could have done something about it."

"Believe me, I do, too," she said sadly, apparently not seeing through his lie. "I miss him a lot. I can't believe I was so stupid to lose him right after I had found him again."

"Yeah, I know. He was important to you, wasn't he?" He asked tentatively, his thumb rubbing comforting circles on the uninjured areas of her hand.

"He really was. When I was a child, I adored him. When I got in trouble, I always ran to hide behind his robes, and he smiled down at me a fondness that my parents had never looked at me with. I wanted nothing more than to be his Padawan," she sighed. "But I guess it just wasn't meant to be, was it?"

"I'm so sorry... I wish I had known," Luke said, smiling sympathetically. "But Obi-Wan or not, you turned out a better Jedi than I could ever be."

She smiled sincerely at him, appreciating the compliment that came from his heart, "You're really sweet, Luke. I bet you'll make a wonderful Jedi knight, too."

He giggled shyly, averting his gaze from her once again. He thanked her in a soft, shy voice that she found so adorable she could have melted into a puddle. "There, you're all set." He said as he bandaged her hand, tying up the loose end of the gauze on her palm.

"Thanks, Luke." She said, ruffling his hair.

"You're always welcome." He replied, hiding the blush rising to his face.

In a bout of courage, she threw her arms around his neck, pressing their cheeks together. He froze for a split second before wrapping his own around her waist, pulling her closer to him and inhaling her signature coconut scent. He could get drunk on her sweet smell that made him feel at peace. As she felt him get more comfortable, a mischievous thought entered her mind. She began to tickle his open armpits, making him yelp and squirm beneath her.

"Y/N, stop!" He laughed as she straddled him, pinning his wrists to the floor with one hand and using the other to tickle his stomach. He squealed and giggled, trying to get out of her grip, and as soon as she loosened her hold on his wrists, he flipped them on the sparring mat, landing her with a soft 'thump'. He threw one leg over the other side of her waist and pinned her wrists over her head in the same fashion as her. He aimed for her sides and she squealed, turning into a giggling, squirmy mess.

"Luke! You copycat!" She shrieked through her laughter.

He laughed, too, drinking in the pure joy of the moment, and noticed her face was red from happiness and laughter, as well as his, he assumed.

"Luke, Y/N, I need you to- oh..." Leia stumbled in, cutting herself off as she saw her two friends sharing an intimate moment. "Am I interrupting something?" She smirked.

Suddenly, they were both very aware of their position. Luke's eyes widened slightly and he cleared his throat, messily getting up and fixing his hair. He helped Y/N off the ground and she dusted herself off, looking to Leia, who still had that knowing smile plastered on her face. "No! No, you're not."

"Yeah... anyway," she dragged the first word out in suspicion. "We have an impromptu meeting to be at in fifteen minutes, just enough time for you to get changed."

"All right, we'll see you there." Luke said, smiling politely at his friend and leaving the room. Y/N soon followed suit, as their rooms were fairly close, in fact opposite each other.

Leia rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation. It was clear as day that the two of them were enamoured with one another, everyone could see it except them. She could see it in their eyes when they looked at each other, in how gentle they were with each other. They'd share so many little moments like this, yet they'd never make a move. It was infuriating, to say the least.

Leia walked out of the room and through the halls of the rebel base. She bumped into someone on her way.

"Woah, Your Highness, what's got you so upset?" Han asked, nearly sarcastically, but she chose to answer honestly.

"I just walked in on Luke and Y/N having a tickle fight," she said. "It annoys the life out of me when they act like a couple but they don't even see that they actually like each other."

"Ugh, I know. It's painfully obvious to everyone but them." He agreed.

"Hang on. Are you agreeing with me, Han Solo?" She said, not waiting for his response. "Since this is the first thing we actually agree about, care to do something about it?"

He raised his eyebrows, interested. "What did you have in mind?"

"Oh, nothing too serious, just a bit of messing with them. Maybe they'll stop being so dense." She said.

"Good idea," he nodded, giving her credit. "We start after the meeting."

"Deal."

...

Y/N smiled softly at Luke and closed the door behind her, exhausted from the meeting. She huffed a breath and looked for a shirt and pants in her wardrobe, but couldn't find a sweater for the life of her. She looked through all of her room for her favorite green sweater, under the bed, behind the door, even beneath her covers, but there was no trace of it.

She hated that it disappeared, but she decided she was going to look for it after she's had a proper rest after a two-hour-long meeting. She knocked on Luke's door, who opened it and smiled softly at her. "Hi."

"Hi. I can't find my green sweater, do you have one I could borrow?" She dared to ask. It was an intimate gesture, surely, but she wanted that nap, and the only thing that was more comfy to sleep in than her favorite sweater was a warm sweater with Luke's soothing smell all over it. "Assuming you don't need it, of course."

"Um, sure," he said, rummaging through his clothes. "Here."

He handed her a white hoodie with no zipper. It was so soft and warm, it made her cheeks flush in anticipation. She pulled it over her head and sighed at the feeling. The sleeves were a bit bigger on her, and she loved it. It felt like a warm and loving embrace. It felt like his embrace.

"Thank you, Luke, you're a sweetheart," she said and he blushed furiously, but she didn't have the energy to notice. "I'll be taking a nap now, but if you need a favor, ask me, okay?"

"Okay," his voice cracked. "Have a good nap."

She left his room with a thankful smile.

She snuggled up in her bed, wrapping her arms around herself, as if it was Luke hugging her. She breathed in his smell, making her sigh in content. The warm feeling and the soothing scent lulled her to sleep quickly enough, with the image of Luke holding her and warming her up with his body heat.

...

After letting her borrow his hoodie, Luke felt much closer to her. He fell harder for her, if that was even possible. And when he saw her snuggled up in his clothes, his brain went blank and he forgot his own name for a moment. He wanted to hug her, to warm her up and fall asleep beside her, then to wake up next to her and wake her with a soft, open-mouthed kiss to her lips.

He pushed the thought to the back of his head as he saw her heading for the same closet he was. "Hi."

"Hi. How was your nap?"

"Best nap I've ever had. Your hoodie is the most comfortable thing I've ever worn. I'll give it back right after I grab some stuff here."

"No, no, you keep it."

She felt her heart warm at his offer. "Luke, you love this hoodie..."

But I love you more. "But you're happy. And that makes me happy."

She smiled lovingly at him, "Thank you so much. Really."

"You're always welcome..." He said, hesitant to finish his sentence. "...starflower."

She turned to him and her smile widened at the nickname, a blush rising to her cheeks. She got on her tip-toes to try to reach an old book on the highest shelf, straining to try to grab it. Luke noticed her struggle and moved up to her, and with a little jump, he caught the book and handed it to her. She smiled thankfully at him and kissed his cheek softly, making him blush.

Their sweet moment was interrupted by the lock clicking. "Oh, damn it!"

Luke tried to force the door open but failed, and when he turned around to face her, he noticed how incredibly close they were. His chest nearly touched hers, and he could feel her breathing pattern as whenever her chest expanded, he could feel it brush his own.

"This is... convenient." She said, making him chuckle.

"Yeah... sorry I didn't pay more attention."

"It's not your fault."

A comfortable silence fell over them, and Y/N shifted into a more comfortable position, accidentally brushing over Luke's hips. He blushed and bit his lip at the contact. "Sorry!"

"It's- it's fine..." His voice cracked. He felt his pants tighten and he blushed a dark red, sweating a copious amount. He was already super embarrassed and ashamed about accidentally getting a hard-on, and he was fairly sure he'd die if she saw.

He shifted away to try to put some distance between them, but accidentally stepped on her foot. She flinched backwards and fell over. Luke swiftly caught her, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her. He pulled her up gently and his forehead was nearly touching hers. He closed his eyes, savoring the closeness between them. He wanted to brush the hair away from her face and kiss her until she was breathless, but he just didn't have the courage.

How ironic: Luke Skywalker, the man who destroyed the Death Star, couldn't strap on a pair and make a move on a girl. It was laughable, really.

He decided to test the waters by sliding his hands down to her hips in a featherlight touch. She felt something brushing her thigh and her eyes widened as she realized Luke was turned on by the situation, and decided to tease him a bit.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this your lightsaber or are you just really happy to see me?" She asked, a teasing edge to her voice as he tried to stutter out a response.

"I- I- I... uh, um... I..." He stammered, trying to think of a way to explain himself without sounding like a pervert. "I'm so, so, so sorry, I really didn't mean to, it was an accident... I really hope you could forgive me but if you don't want to talk to me ever again, I understand, I..."

He looked so cute, flustered about something that simple. She couldn't really see him all that well, but she was sure he was blushing the darkest red possible.

"Relax, Luke, I'm just teasing you," she giggled. "It's normal. It could have happened to any guy."

"Wha..? Really?"

"Of course. Honestly, I'm a little flattered." She smiled slyly, making him whimper in embarrassment.

"Could you do me a favor?" He asked. "Could you maybe... not tell anyone about this?"

"I'd never, Luke," she cupped his cheek and gently moved his face to make him meet her eyes. "It's going to be our secret."

He smiled softly at her. "Thanks for being so understanding."

Bravely, she leaned up and kissed his nose. "No problem."

Just as Luke started to gather enough courage to lean down to kiss her, the lock started rattling. The two snapped their heads in the direction of the door as it opened to reveal Han and Chewbacca on the other side.

"What in the Maker's name are you two doing in here?"

Chewie growled suggestively.

"Shush, Fuzzball, someone locked us in here." Luke dismissed.

He growled again in an attempt to sass Luke.

...

Y/N thought back to her moment with Luke as she sat with her friends on the Falcon. The hopes of him feeling the same way about her rekindled when he got aroused, but she was almost sure that any guy would have been turned on by the closeness in that sort of situation.

Luke surprised himself at how comfortable he was with her after that awkward situation. Maybe if he was braver and not that hopeless, his arousal could have taken the status quo to the next level. After all, if there was anyone he wanted to be touched by, kissed by and held by, it was her. Everything from her soulful eyes to her intelligence, and even her plush lips made him melt-

"Kid, snap out of it!" Han called, making Luke do a double-take on the controls of the Falcon.

"Huh- what?" He blubbered, blushing.

"Could you scooch, please?" Leia asked and Luke complied, sliding onto the chair next to Y/N. He gave her a shining smile and looked at the controls. "Thanks."

Y/N reciprocated his grin, thinking back on the cuddly feeling of his hoodie cocooning her and lulling her to sleep.

"Excuse me..." Leia said and leaned over to Y/N's area to pull a lever. Luke leaned to the side and felt the back of his head rest against a soft cushioning.

"Um, Luke..." Y/N said hesitantly and Luke's eyes widened when he realized he had leaned his head on her breasts.

"Oh, stars-" he said and swiftly got up from his seat, red as a tomato and paced back and forth. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose! I would never do anything like this to you on purpose! Not that I don't find you attractive enough to- I need to lie down..."

"Kid, for fuck's sake, stop talking." Han said and Y/N chuckled at Luke's antics, shaking her head fondly. She was certainly flustered to have his head on her chest, but him trying to explain himself was too funny not to laugh at.

Meanwhile, Leia watched the scene unfold, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. She gave Han a side eye, to which he shook his head in exasperation. They had set him up so perfectly and he still managed to screw it up. "All right, I'm going to go lie down. And make sure Luke didn't die of self-loathing." She waved goodbye to her friends and walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, Leia looked at Han, clenching her jaw.

"This isn't working. Why isn't this working?" She asked.

"I have no idea. They can't even seem to acknowledge that they both enjoyed the closest thing they ever had to sexual contact." He rolled his eyes.

"I think it's time to pull out the big guns." Leia said and Han tilted his head in curiosity.

"What do you suggest?"

"You have to come on to Y/N. And don't you stop until Luke is red with anger and wants to hit you."

"All right." He patronized, laughing at the thought of Luke trying to punch him.

...

Luke always got along with Han, but right now every word that came out of his mouth made him clench his fists, knuckles turning white.

He couldn't believe he was actually flirting with Y/N.

After encouraging him to make a move all this time, he felt betrayed and fairly angry that he was going after the love of his life even if he clearly had a thing for Leia. He didn't care if he was doing it to prove a point or he was sincerely into her, but he hated it nonetheless.

It started out small, with innocent touches paired with "trouble never looked so goddamn fine", or "I'd do anything for a woman with a knife", all of which made Luke more confused than jealous. But as it escalated into more blunt compliments and pick-up lines, he could barely holding together. At first maybe he chewed on his cheek and pretended not to listen, then he started avoiding eye contact with either of them, and he currently grumbled or growled lowly at everything he said. He was a little relieved to see her sass him in response to his comments, though, his grip on the arm of the chair faltering slightly whenever she responded in a sarcastic way.

Until he had had enough.

"Smile is the second best thing you can do with your lips."

Luke clenched his jaw so hard it could have snapped clean. He struggled to control his angry, shaky breathing as he got up and grabbed Han's arm to pull him to another room.

"Okay, what the fuck, Han!?"

"What?" He said, trying his best to hide the smirk of satisfaction that threatened to creep up on his lips.

"Cut it out. You know I like her, why are you doing this?!" He snapped.

"Maybe I recently saw the light," he shrugged. "Look, you're clearly nowhere close to making a move, so why shouldn't others take a shot?"

Luke opened his mouth to retort, and then closed it. He had a point. If he didn't do something about it, he was going to lose her. And he couldn't afford to lose her to Han. If she was going to end up with someone other than him, he'd prefer that she end up with Leia.

"Fine." He spat, storming out of the room.

He rushed to open a cupboard and grabbed a bottle of alcohol, chugging a questionable amount of it. "What are you doing?"

"I'm clearly not drunk enough to do this," he said, pulling away from the bottle. "Yum, mouthwash that burns."

Han bit back a laugh as Luke clumsily walked to Y/N and pulled her away to speak in private.

"Luke? What's going on?" She asked, not even pointing out his apparent intoxication.

"I can't- I can't do this anymore, Y/N!" He said and her brows furrowed with confusion. "I can't stand to see Han treat you like this so forgive me for going to such drastic measures to prove a point!"

"What are you-" she was cut off by Luke storming over and crashing his lips on hers with such force that she stumbled back. As his action registered in her brain, she melted into the heavenly sensation. She ran a hand through his blonde locks, earning a small gasp from him into the kiss.

As she pulled away, he chased her lips for a split second before slowly opening his eyes, half-lidded gaze shifting to the string of saliva still connecting them. "I'm sorry, I- it was a momentary lapse. But I like you. I like you a lot. And I can't stand the thought of you being with Han. And I just wanted to tell you before you make a choice."

"Oh, Luke..." she said, smiling brightly as she caressed his cheek lovingly. "I don't like Han. He's a great friend but all those pickup lines were scaring the living Force out of me."

He giggled softly, though his face dropped at her lack of response. "I... I get it." He said quietly, trying to avoid her gaze. "I'll leave you alone."

He turned around and walked to the door, shoulders slouched in defeat and she shook her head in fondness, grabbing his wrist to stop him. "Luke, you adorable, oblivious idiot."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled their noses together before giving him a softer, sweeter kiss. This time there was no desperation, no urge, no rush. Just the need to make him feel loved and make him see that she doesn't want anyone else but him.

"I, um-" he cleared his throat. "I liked that very much."

"I like you very much." She said, pecking his cheek repeatedly. He giggled like a little boy, blushing. "You seriously thought I'd pick anyone over you? And that the first person would be Han?"

"No, I thought the first person would be Leia," he said and Y/N laughed loudly. "But, yeah, pretty much."

"Normally I'd say that's not true but Leia is gorgeous," she joked and Luke laughed softly, proud to have made her laugh. "And by the way, the list goes you, Leia, literally anyone in the world, and then Han."

He smiled at her, moved by the comment and amused by the joke, and brought her closer to him.

"Why am I after Leia?"

"Because she's so much hotter than you!" She defended.

"Thanks, Y/N!" The princess called, making Luke laugh and Y/N join in.

"You wound me, Y/N." Han said in mock offense.

"Are you guys together yet?" Leia asked, walking in. Luke wrapped an arm around Y/N's waist, smiling proudly as he pulled her closer. She smiled too, leaning her head on his shoulder. "You are?!"

They both nodded, happiness flooding every single inch of them.

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!" She said, hugging Y/N and pecking her cheek. "Took you long enough. The way you looked at her without doing anything was becoming very frustrating." She hugged Luke and ruffled his hair.

He rolled his eyes and turned to his new girlfriend, pressing their foreheads together.

"I'm glad I did."

[gothlute]

Since you said it was okay to send you asks about Lute (and I really wanna talk about her ajshgs): do you have any headcanons for her as a character, fallenwings and/or guitarspear? :)

Also, as a doodle idea: fallen angel Lute!

I love this so much!!!!

Okay so the fallen angel Lute doodle will be done a bit later since I ordered a graphic tablet and I wanna draw it on it. I'll tag you!

Ive already made a post about Guitarspear headcanons too :D I might post more if I get ideas!

___________________________________________

Lute headcanons.

• Metalhead & likes goth music

• Had an emo phase, obviously, tho she won't admit it

• She's REALLY into music, either listening to it or making it. Adam and her make music together! She can sing and kinda play drums (tho she's a begginer)

• Her favorite bands is Type O negative

•Her favorite colors are black and red

• Super picky eater, and so is Adam

• High IQ, and possibly autistic, she gets told to get tested a LOT but she doesnt want to

• Is SUPER good at make up, she does her eyeliner super fast

• Very very good at strategy games. She's overall very smart and learns fast. The kind of kid to learn how to read super early and then get pissed at other kids because they can't do it

• Super serious most of the time, but the most unhinged mf with Adam because she trusts him deeply. She actually makes almost as much dirty jokes as him when it's just the two of them

• Both bi and homophobic : she was raised in a SUPER religious family and feels attraction to girls but is deeply ashamed of it.

• Had a situationship with Vaggie, but had too much internalized homophobia for it to work. She's SUPER bitter about it

• Pretty interested in mythology

-She's pretty muscular and very strong, she works out a LOT and pretty much all gay exorcists have/had some sort of crush on her (and everyone's aware of it except for herself)

• Wears a band shirt and black sweatpants like 50% of the time when out of uniform

• She would LOVE the Saw movies. They have gore, interesting lore and she'd love to learn about all the traps (she would wanna try them on demons LMAO)

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Now let's dive deeper into the Lute and Vaggie part.

Fallenwings headcanons (sorta)

!!CW interalized homophobia

I don't believe Vaggie and Lute dated. I do think they had something going on though.

To begin with, I think Lute is bisexual, with INSANE. amounts of internalized homophobia and religious guilt. She's plain homophobic, and thinks it's a sin, while ignoring the part of her that likes it. It has been easy at first because she wasn't into ONE specific girl.

But when she started liking Vaggie, everything was way harder. Her feelings were too hard to ignore. She felt genuine physical attraction, to the point where training with her was getting hard. Everything was complicated.

And Vaggie felt this way too. She started flirting with Lute, and even though she felt painfully guilty about it, she gave in.

They kissed a copious amount of times (never in public), slept together almost as much, and genuine feelings were developping for both of them.

But Lute's self hatred was only getting worse, and it was getting in the way. She would rather die than make their relationship official (though let's be honest you'd have to be blind to miss the sexual tension during training), and Vaggie had to constantly remind Lute that it was okay, that it didn't make her a sinner.

She didn't believe it.

She sometimes pushed Vaggie away when she initiated any contact, even chaste and friendly, and got very cold and disgusted to talk to her. Because after all, she's gay.

Vaggie tried to be as understanding as possible, but it was getting too far.

Her and Lute got into an argument.

Vaggie was like "this is stupid, you insist that we hide when we see eachother, you seem uncomfortable and it's clear that you don't really like me SO we should probably just stop". She wasnt that mad just a bit annoyed and sad

Except Lute took it very badly, and got VERY defensive and mad, because Vaggie was right. She got mean and lashed out on her, Vaggie left and they just...stopped talking

Basically, Vaggie thinks Lute used her to "try it with a girl" while Lute had actual feelings, and she HATES Vaggie because she let her see her weaknesses and thinks she's disgusting for making her fall for her!! She was a lesbian after all.

+ She betrayed heaven and it was OVER. It was the proof Lute was waiting for, proof that Vaggie was just a filthy sinner, disgusting, that she deserved to rot in hell, and that Lute's little phase was over, probably a test from God she passed.

Sometimes, Lute still dreams of the filthy sinner, of her sweet words and the warmth of her embrace. She still feels all warm when seeing two girls kiss, she still gets jealous. But she knows better than to indulge in those feelings now, she's a warrior.

[fabuloustrash05]

2012 Caseynardo’s Love Story Headcanon

How the Leo x Casey ship would come to be if I wrote TMNT 2012

Their love story starts during the farmhouse arc in season 3 when Casey notices Raph is under a lot of stress and pressure from being the temporary leader of the group while Leo is injured and recovering. He’s got a lot on his plate: taking care of Leo because of his injury, looking after Mikey and Donnie, and even being the one who is making sure Mikey, Donnie and April are all keeping up with their ninja training. Because of this Casey offers to look after and take care of Leo so Raph can focus more on training everybody, and Raph accepts.

This decision results in Leo and Casey spending a lot more time together while living on the farmhouse. Casey would keep Leo company at the house while the others were off training, and together they would hang out, play video games, joke together, watch movies (sometimes Spaceheroes), and also chat and get to know each other more. Overtime the two actually became really close, and they realize they had a lot more common than they originally believed. They are both the oldest siblings of their families and they are willing to do everything in their power to protect them and keep their younger sibling(s) safe and happy (Reminder: Casey canonly has a little sister). They both relate to the feeling that they feel more like a parent to their siblings then an actual sibling because their fathers are never around to take care of them because they are always busy so they unwillingly take on the responsibility.

After this moment of realization and bonding, Leo began to develop feelings for Casey first. Spending so much time together Leo began seeing another side of Casey realizing there’s more to him than just being the reckless troublemaker that his brother hangs out with all the time. Leo admires that no matter the difficult and hard situation Casey is in, he always looks at the positive side of it all. Casey comes from a broken family and lives a difficult life (Note: I believe the writers have confirmed that Casey’s parents are divorced, that’s why I say “broken family”) but yet he still holds his head up high and keeps going. He’s actually more mature than Leo thought.

Casey also began to develop feelings for Leo around this time because Leo was the only person who genuinely listened to him and understood his struggles. April never truly did that. She listened, but didn’t understand, and for Raph he understood but hardly listened because he (like many others) don’t take Casey seriously. Also around this time Casey feelings for April began to fade. He still cares about her, and loves her as a friend, but not in a romantic light. He also grew tired of the love triangle, because he knew that April was growing feelings for Donnie at this point, so he found it pointless being in a competition where he already knows what the results will be, but that doesn’t stop him from still messing with Donnie when it comes to April related stuff.

So Leo (being the closest bisexual I HC him to be) becomes very overwhelmed with his new feelings for Casey, while Casey (who I also HC as bi) is chill with it and doesn’t overthink his feelings but thinks Leo doesn’t feel the same for him, when in truth he does like him too, Casey’s just very oblivious. Whenever he would get close to Leo (hugging him, touching his shoulder, etc) Leo gets really flustered and blush and then panic like an idiot, Casey just thinks that he’s making Leo uncomfortable. Leo also doesn’t realize that Casey likes him to because he thinks Casey still likes April because he still sees him rivaling with Donnie for April, which reminder Casey’s only doing this now to mess with Donnie not because he likes a April anymore.

During and after they leave the farmhouse, there’s pining feelings between them, sometimes even friendly flirty. Later on the Kraang are defeated, New York was saved by the Turtles and Mutanimals, and the city is trying to go back to normal. One night while on patrol, Casey ask Raph if Leo ever talks about him when he’s not around. Raph immediately picks up what’s going on (their little moments of flirting we’re obvious to him, but everyone else was blind) and quickly tells Casey to just go for it and ask out his brother, because out of everybody Raph knows Leo had a terrible first experience with romance (Note: Leo’s romantic feelings for Karai disappeared the second he found out she was his sister, something the writers should’ve done, and because of this Leo had a hard time excepting romance again. *Cue “I Think I’m In Love Again” by Kat Dahlia*)

A little nervous, Casey takes Raph’s advice and asked Leo if he wants to go on a date with him. Leo is shocked by this and believe Casey just means to hang out as friends, but Casey tell him that he’s liked him for a while and wants to go on an actual date with him and Leo happily accepts.

Keeping their newfound relationship a secret from everybody else, except for Raph because he obviously now knows, the two have their first day at the hockey rink. The two have a really fun time and by the end of the date they come close to sharing their first kiss, but Leo stops himself. Leo tells Casey that he really does like him and wants to be in a relationship with him but Leo knows he can’t right now. At the moment he has too much stress and pressure of being leader, Karai is still out there lost in her mutant snake form (though Leo is not interested in Karai romantically anymore he still cares about her because she is his family and he wants to bring her home), Shredder is still out there, and who knows what others threats will soon come their way. Casey is sad but completely understands, telling Leo that he will wait for him. The two agree to be friends after that date and the story continues on as per usual with the occasional flirty banter between them both. By season 4 everyone picks up what is going on between them, and some wonder when are they finally going to get together. It’s a “right person wrong time” situation.

By the end, they would officially get together and their relationship would be confirmed during the season 5 episode, When Worlds Collide. Remember that scene of Leo in the dojo training with Karai? Have that scene play out and just replace Karai with Casey ;)

[3kiripima3]

For Hazbin matchup!

Gender ID: AFAB She/Her

Sexuality/preference: Bi!

Hobbies/interests: I've always been a art lover, loving almost everything to do with art!(Coloring/drawing, painting, clay, ect) I also like collecting stuff I think is neat (mostly knick-knacks based off my interests) and playing video games! I also love cats and just animals/pets in general. Kinda a nerd as well, I've always loved science and stuff like that

General overview: Def a ambivert, I'm pretty quiet and reserved when in a group of people I don't know, but around friends and family I'd say I'm pretty hyper and love talking to others about my interests or other random crap. I'm pretty easy to get along with, for the most part. I can be a bit overwhelming at times I'd say, but I try my best to be not too much. Very friendly, and I like to try new things and just have fun!

Some extra info is: I have ADHD, I hate horror as a the genre for everything except games for some reason, I have a giant sweet tooth, and I am prone to jumping to a different topic in a conversation like every ten minutes

Hiya! Thanks for the request! After some consideration, I think I'd pair you with…

Lucifer!

I really feel like you and Lucifer would be amazing for each other.

Lucifer is also typically an artistic person, despite not being very good at certain forms of art. He'd constantly ask you for drawing advice. He'd also probably give you a bunch of the stuff he makes. If you were to ever paint/draw him, he'd love you even more than before somehow.

Lucifer also likes collecting things. He's the type of partner to see a shiny rock and give it to you because it reminds him of you. And, he'd definitely get you things for your collections all the time.

Due to Lucifer being able to change into animals, he'd love the fact that you like animals and take advantage of it. If you were ever painting and he wanted your attention, I'm pretty sure he'd just turn into a cat and crawl onto your lap.

I think that Lucifer would really enjoy hearing about your interests. I doubt he has all that many of his own, so he'd listen to you fully whenever you talk about things you like. He also would really appreciate you being a friendly person.

Thanks for requesting! I hope this is good enough for you :)

[kata-sans]

Do You Get Deja Vu?

Bruiseship fanfic.

"Will you give me a chance and go out with me?"

Jay was stunned. After things between him and Nya had dissolved with both sides agreeing to end on friendly terms, Jay was certain he was ready to move on. When they broke up, Nya had quickly chosen to explore her options and began to go on dates, while Jay decided to spend his newfound time with his friends on the team. At first his friends believed his reluctance to dating was due to harboring feelings for Nya. He quickly disproved their theory by openly flirting and dancing on one of the team's outings. So yes, he is in fact single and ready to mingle.

He definitely wasn't shocked that the person asking him out was a guy. He was openly bi and proudly proclaimed it. His friends and family were very supportive and encouraged him to find love regardless of gender. He will admit he did have a feeling this question was bound to happen sooner or later. While the group had initially all been available to support Jay after the break up, the group slowly dwindled down in size. Not because they disliked spending time together, but most of the team still had partners they wished to spend time with. Eventually Jay found himself with just one friend available to hang out with.

Was Jay dumbfounded that his only single friend was asking for a date? No, not really. If Jay was honest, he secretly always had a itsy, bitsy, maybe not so small crush on his teammate. But, as a loyal boyfriend to Nya, he had never let his crush develop into anything more than a fantasy. Being single now meant he was free to let his fantasy roam free. So yes, Jay was more than ready to explore this chance at love, but he felt dread.

When Jay opened his bedroom door and found Cole standing with a rose in his hand, he felt his stomach drop. Cole asked him, just as he had fantasized in the deepest back of his mind, but the butterflies that always promised excitement sank as his mind played a devious trick on him. The sick feeling of Deja Vu.

When Jay opened the door and found Cole nervously smiling holding a single red rose on his shaky right hand with his left hand pulling his hoodie coller, his vision blurred. Blinking his eyes made the vision of his past much more realistic. Swallowing down the nauseating feeling of familiarity, Jay realized Cole was waiting on an answer.

"Y-yea...um I m-mean. Yes! Absolutely." The look of pure relief on Cole's face lifted some of the dead weight in his stomach. He could almost feel the butterflies in his stomach weakly flutter as Cole embraced him in his strong arms. Jay returned the favor to bask in the warmth spreading in his chest and chase away the lingering doubts in his mind. The touch served to remind Jay that He was a vision of the past that would stay in the past.

[problemsleuth]

Please it's pride month u legally have to tell us ur midnight crew and problem sleuth gay headcanons

ALKFDSJF MAN WHAT tbh i havent been thinking about them that much this much but i will do it for you buddy

edit: ok now that i'm done im actually all jazzed about ps/intermission again so thank you for this ask anon LOL i had a lot of fun getting to ramble on about stuff and have an excuse to neglect work HAHAHA

guess we'll stay topical and go with like gay awakening headcanons or related. just as a general reminder this is assuming theyre all humans since carapacians probably dont have sexualities defined

Problem Sleuth - I like the whole deal where sleuth assumed he was milquetoast straight for most of his life until he met slick and was like uh oh im bisexual arent i! i think he had other close call moments but sort of mental-gymnastics'ed himself into believing it was just admiration for their hardboiledness or like Friendly Comradery fit with all the intricate rituals to touch another man. fighting and arm over each others shoulders while drinking away at the bar sort of thing. falling in love with slick sort of hit him like a truck, injuries and all. he still sometimes grapples with old habits dying hard though. no i will not elaborate :( sorry.

Hysterical Dame - think she knew for forever she was bi, like i think she had a lot of anime ass moments back when she was in school where a lot of girls would fall for her Roguish Charms and outgoing personality and it was relatively easy for her to explore from there. very much the girl knight in shining armor sort of effect from her willingness to get into fights as well.

Pickle Inspector - wow i think he was well aware he was queer from the get-go. he always knew he was weird or whatever because of his grab bag of issues and quirks, so i think him realizing he was attracted to whoever was not really that big of a deal to him. less of a gay awakening more of a gay "oh i accidentally put an extra box of cereal in my shopping cart. ok". i think if he wasn't literally crawling out of his skin with psychosis and anxiety he would enjoy old drag culture a lot. but as it stands now its way too elbow-to-elbow social and young for him to really get into it. and he's much too busy... (excuse)

Nervous Broad - similar to Sleuth surprisingly i think she had a very late sort of deal where she had the classic "wait, you dont act this way when you see cute girl?" moment with her gal pals from uni. HD being very easy to get along with and very direct made it easy for NB to realize she was developing feelings for another woman. i think NB is very much like bi/pan (she doesnt really get or feel strongly about labels) but she has a really strong preference for femmes.

Ace Dick - apologies to ace dick likers who disagree but AD to me is like the Staple Early 1900s Man from the Adverts. he has a lovely wife who he loves so much and a rambunctious boy he plays catch with on the weekends and they sit around the radio to catch the regular mystery hour. he's aware that there's been a few men about town that he'd probably be willing to get to know more personally in another life, but he's fully satisfied with his little city-suburbia Classic Heterosexual Middle Aged Couple dynamic. so basically no salient gay awakening type moments, just in tune with himself to be aware hes probably not classically as straight as people assume him to be. i also like to joke internally that he considered sleuth one of those aforementioned "men about town" before the guy went and opened his mouth, demolishing the thought before it had even finished forming HAHAHA

===

now for the midnight crew...

Spades Slick - very much has lived by the code of living dangerously, down to his partners. usually tends to be drawn to the kind of people who give the impression of someone who would not have many qualms about slitting your throat in the middle of a hookup. scarysexual. think thats why in my head he's had a few on and off moments with droog (even though truthfully, droog is a lazy stringbean of a guy, despite the outward reputation that precedes him). its for sure why he's so drawn to Snowman, even though their dynamic from start to finish has never been anything close to a healthy relationship. but they both feel it works for them, so they keep going. (i think this is why him shacking up with sleuth was such a surprise to everyone that knew him well - sleuth's soft, and worse, he's got a working moral compass. that's not slick's typical mark. but he gives as good as he gets all the same, in both fighting and fucking, so slick doesnt think twice about how he's breaking status quo. and thats how he ends up catching feelings along the way). i got off topic. tldr; slicks never really thought about his sexuality so no real gay awakening moment either. more of a whoops caught feelings moment, since that was rarer and later in life.

Diamonds Droog - WORST case of hetero posturing you'll ever encounter ever in your life. kept a lot of Tasteful Female Nudes on and around him to """""accidentally"""" let slip to ascertain YES he is SO HETEROSEXUAL. there is NO DOUBT that he LOVES WOMEN. in reality he's been painfully aware that he's into men since he was practically a teen and has worked to cover that fact as thoroughly as possible since. i like to think that contributed to how he got so good at lying. and also why he's repressed as all get out fuck and extremely extremely private about his sex life. normal relationships whomst? anyways id like to direct everyone to helen's (@jawbonejoe) catholic guilt portion of the droog headcanon corner because that basically sums up a similar idea LOL

Hearts Boxcars - he's like droog where he had his gay awakening in his teen years but he was normal about it. he's just not as obvious to clock because one of his biggest hobbies is indulging in corny romance novels which are (for the most part) hetero, is passively religious, and happens to be very courteous to women as well which paints him a little as a stereotypical southern gentleman. but no hes very much a big gay man who hopes to settle down someday right proper.

Clubs Deuce - kind of a natural airhead sort of charmer, so has naturally had a lot of people of various gender identities approach him for a date or two early on. he also doesn't see the point of saying no as long as he likes them somewhat, and boy he sure does love people! later he finds out there's nifty names for the kind of people you like to date, and they come with fun colored flags - well ain't that just swell? when he gets later into his crew involvement in his early 30's, he gets less people approaching him right off the bat for intimate socializing, and since he's not really the type to reach out himself, he kind of stagnates for a while dating-wise until he hits his middle years. then he becomes Kind Of A Dilf and gets back into the dating scene. so not so much a gay awakening either.

===

im zooted atm so apologies if anything is confusing or run-on, but that's basically the 411 on my sexuality headcanons for the team and crew respectively. hope u enjoyed anon!! sorry it's long. i didnt get too much into gender stuff because to be honest, my headcanons on their gender journeys are a lot less solidified in my head. i like to go with whatever headcanons the people around me lean into, since i dont feel strongly about them. this is probably because i dont feel a strong attachment to my own gender. like if gender is a spectrum i am a mote of dust that is floating nearby. generally my defaults tend to be that PI and NB are very much genderfluid and nonbinary, slick is trans (if human - i assume that due to the nature of carapacian production, gender doesnt have the same meaning or impact as it does with humans, and therefore gender identity isnt really something that's needed for them. unless specifically they're formed and prototyped into a universe that is heavily impacted by gender, in which case they can understand it conceptually. otherwise theyre out here presenting however they want down to like re-prototyping their bodies to comfort), DMSG is intersex and identifies as a woman (whoops shes not technically team sleuth but i think about here a lot), and sonhearst likes to identify as transmasc (i like to imagine AD and WH sort of being boomers about the lingo but very much being fully supportive and loving parents about it. heart in the right place sort of comedy vibes).

[ghostxraven]

jet star for that character ask game 👀

💫 JET STAR 🌟

(thank you marz i was hoping to get to do her!!)

Sexuality Headcanon: bi-adjacent but i think she doesn’t really label herself that way. they would probably describe themself as attracted to almost anyone but i DO think they have a preference for trans people :) T4T jet forever mwah mwah 💕

Gender Headcanon: i have recently seen the light & so i would have had a different answer for you like a week and a half ago but now i absolutely believe jet is nonbinary transfemme (specifically i think she identifies as a demigirl), she/they pronouns :3!

A ship I have with said character: STARPONY!!! T4T femme4femme enby love forever. also they’re just like. THEE zones power couple. everyone in the desert has been in love with one or both of them at some point or another and the first time they go out together holding hands in public the gossip mill FREAKS the fuck out. i also think that starparty is quite cute :) and a ship i feel i don’t see often enough (present company excluded) is starpartyghoul they’re SUCH a good match for each other and i love all of them so much oml

A BROTP I have with said character: PARTY AND JET are besties like BEST BEST friends forever, jet is really the first person their own age in the desert to be nice to party and honestly i think the way they became friends at all was party (immovable object aka autistic + covering that up with being Mean, doesn’t know how to make friends AT ALL) meets jet (unstoppable force aka desertborn, knows everyone and is just REALLY friendly and outgoing and likes everyone, including this weird kid they just met who is super super shy but likes their violin and will just kind of skulk around near them not saying anything) and i like to describe it as this:

anyways. they are BEST friends jet knows they can tell party anything and they will do their absolute best to help and party steals jet’s clothes all the time because jet is partial to really soft knitted sweaters and when they’re sad or just needing comfort it’s nice to wear something that reminds them of their best friend. also jet smells like vanilla because of her body lotion so. bonus! on the other hand i also really enjoy jet and ghoul friendship i think party is really the only one in the diner not handy with tools and jet is tall so she helps ghoul fix stuff all the time especially if ghoul needs help reaching it. and jet also warmed up to ghoul REALLY fast when he first joined the crew they like to play board games together. ghoul is i think the only one in the diner who successfully has come to understand the rules of chess after jet taught him how to play so they play that a lot :) & when ghoul told her he wanted to get a tattoo for everyone she picked out a set of playing cards with the ace of spades face up so he has that now for her 🥰

A NOTP I have with said character: ummm hard to say. i honestly think jet works with anyone so like…pretty much only people too old for them like dr. d and tcm. starpony is my fave starparty is cute funstar is cute even jetkobra is cute most of the time when people aren’t being weird and rpf-y about it and/or just doing it so they can pair off the “extraneous” two when they’re shipping funpoison & i’ve read cherri x jet before and thought it was sweet so yeah.

A random headcanon: jet has these twin shooting stars tattooed on her ribcage right under the curve of her pecs!! i think she gets them before starting to take E but they really do um. frame the girls nicely. i used to hc jet as transmasc and originally those tattoos were like. i thought it would be cool if they were kind of transforming top surgery scars with tattoo trickery but i genuinely genuinely think jet would have these tattoos being transfemme too. over time she gets stuff added to them so she eventually has this whole chest/sternum/stomach piece made up of patchwork tattooing all building off of these shooting star tattoos she got done when she was sixteen. wild

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER i truly believe she’s the glue that keeps the fab four together and motivated and theyre just FUNNY and smart and brave i love you jet star

send me a character for this ask game!!

[greatwyrmgold]

Community College Hero: Trial By Fire

...is a video game I played for four and a half hours back in January 2017. It's an "interactive novel" wherein You get a scholarship to superhero college and do stuff.

The Steam page talks about romancing one of six characters, investigating a new villain, property damage liability, and character customization. It also lists two different word counts (168,000 and 176,000), which makes me wonder how you count words for this kind of narrative in the first place.

I don't remember much about it, but I decided to replay it and write up some thoughts.

Conclusion

A lot of this post is rambly and stream-of-consciousness, so I figured I should put this first.

There are absolutely parts I like, particularly the characters. None of them are deep, but as a supporting cast, they work well enough. I could see myself liking them if they were in a better context. But their context is a text adventure with slow pacing and a poor attention span.

I just can't find any angle to enjoy this from. The plot progresses too slowly for me to get invested in it. The character-conversation scenes are short and shallow, and at least in the early game it splits its focus between about a dozen characters instead of focusing on a smaller cast you can spend more time with. And neither the world nor prose are good enough to enjoy just soaking in the superhero community college atmosphere.

Gameplay

It's a very basic game, more complicated than a CYOA book but less complicated than many visual novels. It's told almost entirely through text, with the occasional piece of art. There's zero audio, not even a looping royalty-free track from Kevin MacCleod or something. (It's probably an engine limitation, because boy is this engine limited.)

The publisher has an extensive library of such games, the earliest being Choice of the Dragon. I feel like the format fits a freemium mobile game better than a $5 Steam title, but I bought CCH, so what do I know.

The game has stats, but unlike most crunchier visual novels, it doesn't do much to convey what affects them or what effects they have. It doesn't help that the stats are named things like "Thud" and "Yay" and "Hmmm"—defense, popularity, and awareness, respectively. There's a list explaining what the stats mean at the bottom of your character sheet, but it's not particularly near your stat list. Also: If you realize the character sheet needs to remind players which stat is what, you should rename at least some of the stats.

And balance seems off; at one point in the early game, I glanced at my character sheet and noticed that I had inflated Yay to 23 when the other seven summed to 19. I wasn't trying to be super-popular at the expense of everything else, I just kept being a nice/cool guy and stumbled into obscene popularity.

Relationships with various characters are tracked, but it's not always clear what raises or lowers them. Unlike the stats, you can usually take an educated guess; agreeing with your classmate makes them like you more, criticizing a teacher's lesson plan and general approach to teaching makes them like you less, even if you're obviously right. But sometimes, I would just have no clue. Why does Professor Downfall hate me more than the teachers who I've ignored or criticized when the worst I've done in her class is get beaten up?

Choice

In this kind of game, layer choice and expression is the most important aspect of the game. And while there are some positives, I found the game rather restrictive.

First, some positives. When you pick your gender, you can pick "neither" as well as male/female, and you can independently pick your sexuality (with "bi "both" and "neither" as options). It's no 2064: Read Only Memories, but it's pretty solid.

The game also gives you a bit of flexibility in how you develop relationships with other characters. You might need to remind the game that you're trying to be friendly two or three times in a row, but being friendly doesn't lock you into any particular romance, which is nice.

However, the game occasionally just decides to have you do stuff. If I was given the option, I'd have gladly volunteered at the children's hospital with my paper classmate, but the game didn't give me the option. Stuff like that makes the design feel less polished than it should, considering that the game is 99% text.

It doesn't help that some dialogue options are very bluntly playing into four superhero personality archetypes—Brooder, Charmer, Jokester, Traditionalist. The game doesn't encourage you to pick one "alignment" and stick with it, but there's a certain...lack of nuance in the options. For instance: When one of your classmates suggests a rather ineffective-sounding study plan of "look at clouds and ask quiz questions," your options are to call it dumb, say it sounds nice, or go along with it silently.

And even if it's not a "What kind of hero are you?" question, there are still times when you're provided with two extreme, specific options without any kind of middle ground. Lots of games with a focus on that sort of choice run into this problem. It's still annoying.

It's also more prominent, because most games offer this kind of question when you need to do or say something. CCH:TBF, on the other hand, sometimes asks what you think about something another character says, absent such action. There might be multiple options which involve caring about it for various reasons, but "I don't have a strong opinion" is often not an option. And again, sometimes the options are very specific.

Though on the bright side, when you're asked about your intentions, you are allowed to lie.

Structure/Pacing

After character creation, you go into a long section that's literally just conversations with other characters, meant to establish their character traits (and possibly figure out what romance you're angling for). Most good visual novels would try to mix these in with some form of exposition or plot advancement; if they couldn't do multiple things per scene, they'd at least alternate between different kinds of scene, or make you pick a couple characters to talk to, or something.

It doesn't help that the pacing of the main plot is extremely slow, bogged down by all these aimless scholastic vignettes. If you want to see how that in medias res opening goes down, or what's going on with the Contrarian, or see how the protagonist's background comes to bite him, you need to wade through hours of fluff for crumbs of plot.

And even if you like visual novel fluff, you're liable to walk away disappointed. The scenes tend to be short and low on detail, with many conversations reduced to a few key lines and a summary. And worse, it's impossible to focus on the parts you like. If you get a couple scenes with characters you like in a row, they'll be followed by characters you don't have an opinion of, classwork, crumbs of plot, a meeting with the Dean, etc.

I tried to give CCH the best chance it could have. Tried to meet it on its own terms. One of us failed, and I'm inclined to blame the game. I can't see why it would be appealing to sit down and play.

Maybe the problem is that I was sitting down to play it on my PC. Maybe it would work better if I was playing a scene at a time on my phone or something. But this game was sold on Steam. The new platform should have been considered when designing the game.

Saves

There aren't really any. You can close the game or turn off your PC and progress will be saved, but you boot up right on the "page" where you left off, no menu or anything. You can't maintain multiple saves, or save right before a dialogue choice in case the writer wrote you saying something unexpected, or undo a transition if you accidentally skip past an entire page, or anything. Your only options are to continue or restart, erasing all your progress.

It's a very basic system that works well for games you can complete in a couple hours, but less well for games where you're still in the prologue by then.

Worldbuilding

Zeeple

This world's term for metahumans is "Z-person," which is dumb in a way that would be charming if it didn't also feel kinda lazy. But it's not as bad as it sounds; they're named after Zenith Shields, which are a...unique origin for metahumans.

Basically, SDI worked in this universe, resulting in nine of the USA's biggest cities getting shields that "purportedly protected [them] from nuclear strikes". Apparently those nine cities hold 20% of the population, which sounds wrong (NYC has <5%, and it's way bigger than most cities), but I convinced myself not to crunch the numbers. Especially since there's a bigger problem.

RIots broke out in unprotected cities and the economy stalled for over a decade. In addition, those living in shielded cities were physically unable to leave (emphasis mine). Z-Cities were arguably safe from nuclear attacks, but they were prisons.

How does this work?? Putting aside questions of why the Zenith Shields can't be lowered when there's no imminent danger of attack, how do these cities function? To date, humanity has not built a single city which can fulfill all its needs using only facilities within city limits. Food alone would be an impossible challenge with modern tech, unless we urban-renewal'd Manhattan. Do the Zenith Shields cordon off the tri-county area? (Is that how they cover 20% of the population?)

Anyways, the Cold War lasted until 1996, by which time a whole generation of city kids had grown up absorbing Zenith Shield radiation. Starting in 1997, the media noticed that some of those people developed "unique abilities"; these became known as Zenith People, Z-People, Zeniths, or Z's. In my opinion, they should've lead with Zeniths and dropped Z-People and maybe Z's.

The game obviously never calls Zenith People zeeple, but I will, because I think it's funny to do so.

Anyways, the Zeniths have an official Power Grade system, which I think is kinda goofy. Each grade is about twice as powerful as the last; Grade 1 is presumed capable of defeating five "standard humans," with each grade thereafter doubling that. Grade-2 zeeple can defeat 10 people each, Grade-3 20, Grade-5 80, Grade-10 a bit over 2,500. Grade-10 zeeple are considered global threats.

Now, "defeat X standard humans" is a pretty wibbly-wobbly kind of power level. But I think most people would agree that a "global threat" should be able to defeat at least half a division of ordinary soldiers, and it doesn't sound like that's necessarily the case.

This is just a very silly power level system, one where the provided details make things sillier.

Cape Institutions

Prestige University for Heroes was founded in 1997, right after people learned zeeple were a thing. Apparently Mega Cat (one of the first famous zeeple) worked to found it, along with "federal and state agencies".

PUH trains and educates heroes, and also "has worked with the government to test Zeniths and objectively measure their power levels". I assume PUH started as a research institution and became a hero training facility once there were more heroes who needed training, but that's 100% benefit of the doubt.

There are two other hero programs noted. Savior School in San Fransisco, like PUH, offers a four-year hero degree. But this isn't Ivy League Hero, this is Community College Hero. Speck Community College (in unremarkable Speck, Nebraska) offers a four-semester program that will give you an Associate in Arts degree and prepare you for a potential transfer to PUH or SS.

The different hero degree programs have different requirements. For instance, Savior School won't accept any applicants below Grade 3, and most of their "advanced students" are Grade-4. PUH requires Grade 5, while SCC will accept anyone of at least Grade-1. Good luck transferring out with that kind of score, though.

Savior School's founders, Booksmart and Streetsmart, founded their school about seven years ago, with two stated motivations. First, they want to broaden the range of students accepted to hero training programs, both in terms of power levels and in terms of ethnicity and sexual orientation. Second, they want there to be multiple hero training programs; previously, Mega Cat and PUH had a monopoly that Booksmart and Streetsmart want to break. (It also sounds like Streetsmart thinks Mega Cat is a wimp.)

There's also the Diabolical Dozen, "the world's premier group of villains based somewhere in southern Florida" (of course). They also have a minimum Grade requirement of 8, which means they could potentially be defeated by a small crowd if they attacked a high school graduation. Well, the text says they could defeat an entire division of over 15,000 soldiers, but I assume that most of that comes from the more powerful members, like Lady Ash (who I assume is the Siberian to the D12's Slaughterhouse Nine).

The Dozen haven't been super active recently, but the in medias res opening has the main character fighting three members, so that won't last long.

Cape Culture

The application process for Speck Community College's hero program is pretty impractical. You're not allowed to give them identifying information like name or address, meaning that just submitting an application requires a bunch of spy movie bullplop. I can only imagine how bad the big universities are. Anyways, this continues when you actually start attending classes; you're required to wear your costume basically whenever you aren't alone.

Characters

%charname

The second-person main character (who i will herein call Yuu, after P4's similarly blank slate) is a zerson geek. That's the one personality trait the game assigns you, and it's a pretty extreme one. Victoria Dallon and Izuku Midoriya think he should tone it down.

Yuu isn't a zerson; they're the one normal human in the SCC hero course. But that's not the only unique thing about them; they were raised by a petty supervillain! A fact that the game doesn't dwell on.

You are given a wide variety of character customization options, though many of the choices are a bit...limited. You can type in whatever you like for your names, but you're limited in most other details to options the developers picked.

My %charname

A marksman with an anarchist streak, named Marxman. In his civilian identity, he's a Japanese kid named Hei Yuu, because I like dumb puns. He tries to present as a classical superhero, clad in red/white/blue spandex with a half-mask. He's still intensely distrustful of most formal authorities, though. Marxman tries to be cordial with all of his peers who aren't asshats, hoping to befriend them.

In my head, he's hoping to start a superhero team with his classmates who aren't accepted to PUH or Savior School—a team which will ultimately be open to anyone with a good heart and strong arm, including ones left out by even the SCC program. But obviously this isn't gonna come up in the game.

This section was mostly an excuse to share a couple terrible puns. Though while I'm here, I might as well share other details.

The weapon Marxman was given is a slingshot. I guess Hawkeye and Green Arrow were a bit too obviously murder-capable for the kind of stories they wanted to tell.

He did well at his law midterm, but got Ds in the others due to varying combinations of being a shitty close-quarters fighter and refusing to accept the premise of the tests.

Fellow Students

There are a bunch of them, and the game doesn't do much to help you remember which is which.

Tress is not a death octopus in a prosthetic body. She's a chipper redhead who can control her hair and make it grow. Like the other Tress, her powers are useful in the capture-the-flag teambuilding exercise her group goes through.

There's also a character named Rain, who I mention here because that's also a Breakthrough name. This Rain is a girl with water powers.

Dirty Girl seems like she'd have an interesting character design if this was an actual visual novel with...art. Anyways, her powers make big clouds of smoke. She has a pragmatic streak and little respect for authority, so I feel like she makes a good teammate for Marxman. One represents the philosophical, reasoned kind of anarchy; the other represents the primal, emotional kind.

Stunner is a big gold-armored guy who makes shockwaves. The first impression he left was when he got mad that we tried to console Tress about losing capture-the-flag instead of apologizing for our lackluster performance. Part of that lackluster performance is that Marxman's weapons are a bit too injurious for a lighthearted training exercise, but that didn't stop Stunner from going all-out. I don't like him much. He's paragon enough to refuse to spy on his classmates for a grade, though.

Origami is one of the younger students (19 instead of the early 20's most students claim to be), and the one who volunteers at the children's hospital. She's optimistic and kindhearted in a remarkably generic manner. I can't tell if the game is intending to frame her as someone who drags her classmates to charitable volunteer activities or if that's just a side effect of the rough game design; it would provide her some much-needed texture.

Stoic is a seemingly emotionless girl. Her power seems to be a force-field-based invulnerability, reminiscent of Victoria Dallon, if it didn't turn off and also made her immobile. Stunner hates fighting her, which he has to do amusingly often.

Combat Wombat is a dork in impractically large power armor. Which resembles a turtle more than a wombat; it stands for Wondrously Original Mobile Brute with Advanced Tech. The bulk and clumsiness of the armor is frequently the butt of jokes, which...fair. But he's also the butt of a few jokes for being a video-game-playing nerd, which feels like a weird shot to make.

SCC Educators & Faculty

Professor Sandy McCormick is a mundane lawyer. She's the no-nonsense professor, who doesn't approve of having a bunch of untrained zeeple Zeniths running around on municipal property. Imagine the potential liability lawsuits! Her first class starts with a big PowerPoint slide reading "Welcome to HELL (Hero & Enemy Law & Liability)", so she can't be all bad.

Professor Downfall, like most of the SCC hero teachers, is a superhero. She wears paramilitary gear and has a spartan attitude to match. As far as she's concerned, the most important thing for a superhero to learn is how to break people and things.

Professor Hedonist (who looks like a well-dressed marble statue) takes the polar opposite point. He seems kinda sleazy, but serves as a philosophical counterpoint to Downfall. The professors do a pretty good job in that regard (aside from Nil). Anyways, he's a transfer from Savior School who teaches "Basics of Defense".

Professor Nil is mysterious. That's his whole deal. His class is all about protecting and uncovering secrets. He's annoying—partly because he's such a nothing character, partly because what bits of personality he shows aren't great.

Nil tells the class that his class involves trying to learn other students' secrets, and then mocks anyone who steps forward when he asks if they'll try to learn other students' secrets. ("Who will trust you now?") So he's mocking you for saying you'll actually do assignments in his stupid class. Also: Basically his entire class is built around digging up your classmates secrets, which is both psychotic and clashes with the fact that students aren't supposed to even let their classmates see their face.

The Dean, Meg Tolly, had intense "wants to be the cool teacher" vibes during orientation. She mostly sticks to those overcompensatingly cheery vibes, but gets serious when the circumstances dictate. Like when telling her new students not to investigate the dangerous new supervillain (who the plot dictates we investigate).

The worst thing I can say about Meg Tolly is that she puts up with Nil's lesson plans. And possibly Hedonist's conduct? It's not clear whether the writers think he's being subtle about it or not.

Villains

Doctor Stench is a backstory villain—specifically, Yuu's father. He was a perfume scientist who became obsessed with the emergence of zeeple. His villainous actions are variely-defined, but he apparently used weird-smelling chemicals and had a nose-themed costume. I'm not sure whether this is a universal feature or a side effect of my choices for why Yuu admired him, but Doctor Stench's villain philosophy had a distinctly anti-capitalist streak, explicitly telling his child that the capitalists are the real supervillains.

The description of his crime reminds me of Mouse Protector. The local "high-wage earners" started getting defenses not to protect themselves, per se, but because being victimized by this nosy dork with a stench ray was embarrassing. Eventually, Stench was captured, at which point he promptly tattled on every crook and villain he'd ever worked with. Including a few scraps of information on the infamous DIabolical Dozen, which lead to him getting stabbed twelve times in jail.

The Contrarian comes off as someone who couldn't decide whether she wanted to be The Joker or The Riddler, without having the talent or charisma to pull either off. You know what she does have, though? Pipe bombs. Also spray paint. Her first attack (during SCC hero orientation) hit a fast food joint and came with graffiti'd anti-consumerist-sounding word salad, her second hit a church and came with some teen-atheist-sounding word salad. ("Just pray to a pie!") She comes off as a faux-nihilist/faux-anarchist sort of troublemaker.

[magicalgirlagency]

Opinions on Bayonetta?

I feel like Bayonetta (both as a series and as a character) can be summarized in two categories:

Pre-Bayo3: Beautiful. Bewitching. Dazzling. Mesmerizing. The concept of a sexually confident woman is fascinating and we should see more of that in media. Serves absolute cunt. Even the concept art is cunty. And also a friendly reminder of my gayness;

Post-Bayo3: I want her dead. Gone. Out of my sight. Weakass bitch. No longer "One of a Kind". Abandoned her witch girlfriend for some irrelevant guy. There's now a special place in Hell for Hideki Kamiya for queerbait crimes.

Now, don't get me wrong here; I'm not saying that Bayonetta ending up with a man is a bad thing, nor that it "makes her straight" (enough with the bi/pan erasure, y'all); the real problem here is that she ends up with Luka, of all people.

Like, why him?

Why would you go for the man who hates you for his father's death? The man who's just a mere mortal and will die earlier than you? The man you'd constantly tease and play like a little toy? The man whose only purpose in the first game was to be a comic relief character?

Instead of a woman that you've known for centuries? The one who's also a witch? The one you've travelled the fiery bowels of Hell for to save? The one who's your motherfuckin' ROOMMATE?!

Wow, congratulations! I hate Bayonetta's guts and I think she's super lame now! Not only that, I also want Jeanne all to myself! She's MY girlfriend now! Eat shit!

You do NOT deserve her. Not after the fuck shit you've done to her, you BITCH.

[notgonnashutup]

Karaoke. Sang toxic ppl said I sounded good lol I couldn't hear but i believe. Danced, saw cute girl I chatted to. Also saw cute valley girl chat with my friends n sing nice. Saw some old friend. Pic with a werewolf lol, did arts and crafts at bar which was so nice oddly reminded me of being little at diners drawing with sister, played miss Pac man and street fighter won with Chun li once then lost lmao, played pinball. Smoked for first time and figures lol it just relaxed slightly and made me sleepy, so much secondhand for years maybe I'm resistant. Talked to some ppl and introduced myself, they came up and said hi to me what's ur name and I got rhe vibe those guys maybe liked me or wanted to befriend so I must've seemed nice and friendly and chill and open so that's nice, girl we met as friend said I seemed fun to party with and nice and cool clothes even tho I was being cute like lazy kpop but not dressy like I Can Be so it felt nice, she said I looked like blondie. Just felt nice I can go to a bar and be relaxed and myself and open and friendly and connect to people and the place and crowd. A long way from the night I went there once anxious as exposure therapy lmao just to force myself to talk to ppl. The bar also reminds me of the bronze lmao. I danced too, sat and chilled with friends and drew. While I was sitting with friends a cute guy walked by in maybe a white shirt and tan overcoat, almost looked dressy but it could've been just idk business casual but good fitting or just bright colored. He had short black hair like idk 3-4 inches long in that typical handsome guy haircut and I stared at him and watched as he walked lol and right before he went up stairs he looked my way and smiled like maybe he'd noticed me openly staring. And idk if he saw me but that's maybe the least I cared if I looked at someone cute bravely lol. When he looked back at me smiling I actually met his eyes and kept looking back maybe smiling back I hope haha. But usually I used to look away terrified and feeling intense when cute ppl would look back. With him I actually looked though, then he went up the stairs. I wonder if he was looking at me or someone else, my ego and flattery would like to think he looked at Me and smiled tho. I wonder if I'll run into him again.

Also lots of nice ppl there today. Ppl I could be friends with, pretty warm people. Also I'm so bi lmao I usually don't think of girls much but within a couple hours I saw more cute girls than I see Online. Maybe its cause my taste is different then current influencer online hot but I was drowning in seeing lots of hot girls I was contemplating walking over and saying my shot to lol like "hey I'm mejo what's your name, wanna hang out sometime" ToT. Even the valley girl, even tho I don't usually like that, cause damn she was cute and her smile was cute. And the bar was filled with queer vibes so I felt like hey maybe the cute men wearing makeup with long hair I had a shot with if I maybe went and complimented, maybe since the lesbian couple came up and asked if they recognized me lol then it'd be okay for me to to flirt with somebody. I didn't go flirt tho. A little scared and it's not like I needed to. I was slightly standoffish with men who came up tho, despite my openness, just cause I didn't wanna be hit on. I guess maybe I'm still scared to deal with it. But I know i want to open up and jump in

Me and friend did tarot reading prior. It was all about myself and my brain and selves I guess. Insightful. I'm thinking maybe I need to comfort myself more and be supportive and gentle and forgiving and cuddle myself more Normally. Maybe the panic attack me is the self lashing out at not getting those things so much it hits a boiling point of needing to lash out desperate to finally get treated right. It's a part of me lashing out, as if I'm not getting enough of those self kindness things. Likewise I'm wondering if my nightmares I should try being kind to the murderer, or forgiving myself in the dream for not catching them, or letting myself in my dreams stop doing the jobs/anxious tasks I'm doing. Maybe my brain is showing my selves ignoring each other, instead of taking care of and embracing helping each other. Maybe that's why they're happening. Mm

[desmondkane-of-ao3-fame]

What would a skarlow version of for the future be like, both if she stayed at the boiling isle and went to the human realm?

So I already answered what a Skarlow FTF would look like if it Skara had been to the Human Realm here, but I haven't done one for if Skara was still on the BI. So this one will answer the former question you asked, and you can read the latter in the previously linked post.

To start, a few fun headcannons for Skara during her time in FTF I thought would add a little flavor that work both in and out of a Skarlow-ized version of the episode:

While Matt and Jerbo work on a coup in secret, Skara’s the most active and vocal in her disdain for Boscha’s rule. At least once a week, she makes a grand speech in an attempt to get the other New Hexsiders to rise against her, but often this just ends up with her being thrown in front of Boscha for judgement. Mikki always recommends the detention pit for her, but in the only time Boscha ever tells her no, she always gives Skara a smaller, less terrible punishment. She rationalizes this as her not wanting to hurt her best scout (which Skara is), but Boscha knows in her heart of hearts it’s because she still cares about her former strategist and best friend, even if she doesn’t care for her…

The closest Skara ever came to raising a real uprising against Boscha was inciting a riot with members of the Baby Class, but given that they were a bunch of toddlers it didn’t go as well as Skara had hoped. It also led to the worst punishment Skara had to deal with: having to actually read to the kids to try and pacify them. Skara still has nightmares about that day, and the scars on her cheek are a reminder of the brutality of tiny children.

Viney and Skara both miss playing Flyer Derby immensely. Sadly, with the BI schools Flyer Derby leagues out of commission, mixed with most of their team being Titan-knows-where, the two don’t get to play the real game at all. However, in those few moments where Hexside’s halls are quiet, the two girls grab the nearest flag-like items they can find, strap them to their staffs, and fly around chasing each other until one of them catches the others flag. Viney often wins these games through speed and magic alone, but Skara can win a few rounds thanks to her knowledge of Hexsides layout and strategies. And honestly, she just likes to have this brief moment where she can pretend she’s just a kid playing sports again.

Speaking of Viney, Skara and Viney develop a sisterly relationship in their time at New Hexside. They were already friendly enough before thanks to being on the Entrails together, but going through the apocalypse together brings friends closer, and in these dark times, the other is the only person the other feels they can confide in. Whenever they can’t do fake Flyer Derby, the two usually spend their free time talking about how much Boscha sucks, random junk about old soap opera’s they liked, and occasionally getting existential and sad about the rest of their team, hoping that they’ll eventually find them, somewhere in the wastes of the BI. Though Skara likes to talk about how much she misses the teams captain in particular…

And now, the actual episode stuff:

As much as I love our little Gremlin Boi Matt, Gremlin Girl Skara would mostly be taking over his role in the episode for the purposes of making it Skarlow, since he has a surprisingly large role in it. So since I’m assuming the episode would be 45 minutes still (thank you Disney you worthless sons of…) many of Matt’s roles will be assumed by Skara, including introducing them to Boscha (with the same annoyed bent) and showing them the ‘secret’ room (though Matt will get to keep his ‘MANtholomule’ bit).

When Skara and, Barcus, and Matt find the Human Realm gang, she jumps at the chance to hug Willow, babbling on about how grateful she was to find her and how she’s been looking everywhere for her! When Gus points out he and Hunter are there too, she adds them to the hug, which she’s happy to share with her awesome team, though she wonders why including them in her hug with Willow feels so… off.

When they get back to New Hexside, Skara’s happy to show Viney how the rest of the Entrails are OK. It’s Viney’s turn to give the team a big group hug, one Skara gladly participates in. And, for some reason, when she’s next to Willow, she feels… a lot nicer about it…

When they go to Jerbo and Matt’s secret room, Skara says her memories are the ones they took the photos from. When Willow asks why she made the photos, Skara says she just likes to remember the times when she had a real team, a real group of friends who she cared about. She thanks Willow for giving her that, for giving her the chance to experience what that’s like. Willow, beaming, states that Skara’s gonna know what that’s like again when they kick the Collector and Belos’s butts and save the BI.

When Willow gives Hunter the Flapjack picture and thinks she made things worse, she leaves, with Skara leaving to go talk to her. However, before she can call out to help, she’s stopped by a tiny figure, throwing a small handful of sleeping nettles in her face…

When Skara awakens, she realizes she’s been dropped off next to a panicking Willow in a hole beneath the school. Skara tries to help her calm down, but Willow gets only more anxious, unable to stop her powers from growing more and more out of control, including taking Skara by the arms. As Willow says that Boscha was right, that she’s simply ‘half a witch,’ Skara yells about how that’s a load of crap: she tell Willow about how amazing she is, how great a captain and friend she is, how fun and kind she is, how grateful Skara is for Willow in her life. She’s able to break free of the plants and hug Willow, much to Willow’s surprise. Still, Willow hugs back as Skara tells her to let everything out. In this case, Gus and Hunter arrive later, with Skara comforting Willow still as she talks about how much life has been weighing on her. Still, one of her plants causes a cave-in, which Hunter saves them from.

Skara joins the Human Realm squad to fight Kikimora, but when Boscha arrives to fight Kiki and defend the Human Realm squad with Hexside, Skara decides she has to stay with them, that the best she can do now is help earn them some extra time. Willow hugs her, thanking Skara for all she’s done, and how she can’t wait to see her again, which gets Skara to turn as red as her Bard uniform. Still, she hugs Willow back, and as Willow runs off, Skara gets on her Palisman and flys at Kiki, ready to protect her friends and crush team captain!

[tardytothesimspardy]

In Which I Am in Utter Shock

I Am Simply Befuddled

I played through a few days, and really only two things of note happened: Summer asked Laurie out on three dates, and I had Buck make a friend. Oh, and Laurie got a promotion, so now I think she's level 7 or 8 in the mixology career. She's doing way too good in the career, and I fear the Brokes won't be broke for much longer (like they're currently at a stable 3k, this is distressing). I need to do something about that. I tried to do a little renovation and decorating but the build/buy was lagging so ferociously that I couldn't do anything.

I started by having Laurie work on her New Year's resolution of losing weight, which I knew wasn't going to be enjoyable for her at all (given that she dislikes fitness and has the lazy trait). But I didn't rebuild the Oasis Springs gym to not use it.

I had her first try swimming, which she seemed to have a good time with, until she didn't.

(I promise she's wearing a swimsuit it just blends in really well with her skin tone and I probably didn't think of that before because I never needed to)

Then Summer asked her on the first of three dates, and she did this and it was so cute <3

For the next few days, I continued having Laurie go to the gym for as long as she could stand (there were days where I was really pushing her, she got super tense and angry), and I noticed something that, ngl, I still feel kinda weird about: she lost weight super fast. It felt like she had been going for two days and she went from the pictures above to this:

Just,, weird. Idk.

Then the second date with Summer was in Britechester of all places, and they got pretty flirty (they usually do, like I always think, "Oh dang, they seem to just be doing friendly interactions, maybe I was wrong about them, and then bam they're both super flirty it's weird). I keep wanting to have them just run off and have Laurie live with Liberty, Summer, and Shawna, but I have to remind myself that 1) they just started dating like, not even a week ago, and 2) I'm not sure how I will play the households if they are separated like that. I know that if Rich and Laurie do separate, Rich will be staying with the boys, because if Rich goes off on his own I will 100% forget about him. It's probably not best for Flat or Buck for him to stay, but for the sake of whatever semblance of a story I have that he does.

After that date, it was a Saturday, so I decided to focus a little on Buck, since he really wasn't doing much of anything. I had him go to the park in Oasis Springs, partially to work on his aspiration a smidge, but mainly to make some friends. I've had him do the "Make Some Friends" thing while he's at school, but I want him to actually have a few friends, y'know?

He first tried to talk to a girl called Bryanna, but she turned out have the mean trait, and just called him names until he got angry. For some reason, after she was rude at Buck, he had the option to apologize. Why?? He has nothing to apologize for!

After Bryanna, I saw that Shawna had showed at the park, so I decided to have him become friends with her instead. Luckily, her trait is music lover, so she wasn't being actively antagonistic like Bryanna was. I'm not planning to have Shawna and Buck be a thing, that honestly would be pretty weird, given that Shawna's mom is Summer, and if I were to continue having Summer and Laurie be a thing, having Shawna and Buck be a thing would just be,,, yikes. Idk, not great. I kinda toyed with the idea of Shawna kinda being where Buck kinda started liking people with blond hair (because Mary Lu had blond hair), but idk if that's too weird, given that they're both kids. (Idk when stuff like that happens so it's hard for me to judge)

Maybe tomorrow I'll find it within me to focus on Rich. Probably not. Right now it's a bit of a waiting game until the end of spring where I age up Flat and Flo. I've been meaning to have the rest of the family get to know Flo better, so maybe I'll do that. Maybe I could even play a bit from Flo's side, to help flesh her out as a character and get to know her better. Hm, that probably would be beneficial.

[cazimagines]

...I didn't know if this would be something you would write, but it's pride and I was hoping you might write something where Laszlo learns that his fiancée or his wife is bi when she reveals she was previously involved with another woman, or she explains she's also attracted to women. If not it's okay too!! Thanks oh in advance if you do write it though!!! 🥺

Of course! I've daydreamed about this before, being bi myself, so I'll love to be able to write it up! Happy pride 🏳️‍🌈

- You knew your husband was accepting of all sorts of people, it was in his nature and his profession to meet all sorts of people, of genders and sexualities. You knew deep down Laszlo would have no problem knowing you were attracted to women just as much as you were attracted to men. Yet you found yourself unable to tell the man, though you had been courting and now married for a year.

- It wasn't as if you were deliberately meaning to hide it from him, it's just you reached a point so far into the relationship that he would have questions about why you didn't tell him sooner and you weren't sure how you would answer that. You'd dated women in the past, your last relationship being with a nice looking woman, but her beauty made up for the manipulative personality she had. You should have seen it earlier but you were at least thankful you were able to escape her when you had the chance.

- You always feared a day where you might run into her again. For while New York was a large place, fate often had it you would run into someone you never wanted to, at the most inconvenient times. Such was life and such was how your life played out.

- You and Laszlo were attending a very important party, one that put the two of you in high regard and one you had to retain professionalism in order to gain a good reputation among the higher society. All things were going well until you turned around and your eyes landed upon her. She stood talking to some people, drink in hand, but as she left the gaze of someone upon her, she turned around and looked directly at you and a smirk appeared on her face.

- Though you turned from her to seek out Laszlo, she had already reached you before you had the chance for much else and so you were forced to put on a smile as you engaged in polite conversation. You couldn't help but admire how her beauty was still prevalent, even after all this time apart and you almost felt a pull to looks downwards but you kept your eyes steady, for her smirk was what grounded you, her smirk reminded you of the manipulative person she truly was,

- As she lamented about how much she missed seeing you, and now much she regretted losing contact with you. While you attempted to zone away from her incessant talking, you were pulled back with a jump when you suddenly felt her hand upon your arm. What could be taken as a friendly gesture from others but you knew that wasn't the intention.

- It wasn't too long after that when Laszlo finally appeared beside you, two drinks in his hand to offer you one. The woman's eyes widen in surprise, exclaiming she had no idea you were married, and while Laszlo shot you a quizzical look for not apparently informing this acquaintance of yours he politely introduced himself to her. The woman started ranting to him about how good friends the two of you were, how close you had been and how much she had adored you and was ashamed the two of you had fallen out of touch.

- This left Laszlo confused as to why you had never mentioned the woman before and so he reasonably assumed there was more to the story, something you couldn't; discuss though in present company. For the rest of the evening, she wouldn't leave you alone. Whenever Laszlo tried to be beside you, spent time alone with you, she would whisk you away from him, insisting you needed to meet someone. You truly tried to escape her tight grasp upon you, but she wouldn't relent, and there was nothing you could do without causing a scene.

- She pushed it too far however when blind man's buff was a party game people were eager to start. Though usually the man was blindfolded she insisted upon herself to be blinded and that she would case 'the men' you and Laszlo wanted no part in the game and choose to stand to the side but instantly she headed directly towards you. Each time you moved out of her way, she seemed to follow you. You audibly gasped when her outreached hand grazed against your chest, though you had made it plain to her that it was you she was chasing and not one of the men.

- Laszlo was instantly by your side, reprimanding the woman and he guided you out of the room, no longer caring you two were leaving the party early. He didn't want that woman around you anymore making you uncomfortable. He guided you into the calash and sat opposite you as you avoided his gaze.

- "You and this woman. It was more than friendship" he stated and you sighed knowing your avoidance had caught up with you. Finally, you'd have to admit your attraction to women to him and you suddenly felt very nervous for what he would say next as you nodded your head. "I have no problem about that, people should be allowed to be attracted to whoever they wanted to be. I do myself have occasionally felt a pull towards a person of my own sex. I'm only disappointed in myself that you didn't trust me enough to tell me this before"

- You glanced up surprised, into Laszlo earnest eyes because of his confession, and because of his disappointment. Quickly you shook your head and moved over to sit beside him, taking his hand in yours. "You have nothing to be disappointed with. Rather I'm not sure why I never told you before, perhaps it's because of that woman, she scared me from ever talking about such things. I'd worry she would come back and wreak havoc if I ever admitted to such things. But never was it for one second because I was afraid of you and your reaction Laszlo. I know you, and I know just how kind-hearted you are"

- He chuckles bashfully, "Such kind compliments" he'd whisper as he squeezes his hand in yours, and leant forward to press a kiss upon your lips. He was happy you finally had told him your truth and he would make sure, not only to ensure that woman would never come near you again but to love you for who you were.

A/N: I hope this was okay! Feeling tiredness creep in as I started writing it.

TAGS: @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird@shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @handmaiden-of-mischief @zemosimp420 @kadeuuijib @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sky-writes-stuff @rhinestxn-e @davianos-blog @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @mywinterivy @bruhidaniel @the-webkinz-killer @xxlumos @cathana2264 @ajokeformur-ray @nev3rfound @unbeatablecurlgirl @barnesxnobles @une-lueur-dans-la-nuit

[imgonnaragnorockurshit]

Annihilation Day: Chapter 1

Chapter warnings: 18+ minors DNI, language, foggy being a G

word count: 1.2K

a/n: wooo first chapter!!! it’s kinda short but I hope you guys like it :) I did proofread this but I’m fucking illiterate so I apologize in advance for any typos that slipped through. Also Foggy is bi and you can’t tell me he’s not. 

Series Masterlist

Annihilationism was a concept with which Matthew Murdock was more than well acquainted with. Being a Catholic left little room for grace towards himself and far too much room for the overwhelming pessimism of what hell was going to do to him, when the devil, the real devil, would finally sink his claws into him.

To say Matt was comfortable in the company of misery would be an understatement. He would work himself into the ground during the day and then work himself into the early grave he may as well have dug for himself during the night. It was a miracle he was able to keep his secret hobby, well, a secret. With how many bruises and minorly broken bones he’d endured from his nights out, he thought for sure Foggy and Karen would’ve caught onto him by now.

But Matt had always been good at lying. He didn’t necessarily enjoy it- yaknow catholic- but he had convinced himself that it was the only way to protect the very few people in his life that he cared about. It was safe to say that Matt made his peace with dying a long time ago, it certainly made his job of keeping Hell’s Kitchen safe a lot easier.

But all of that changed when he met her. She coaxed him out of his personal hell fire with her soft touch and warm smile and back into his own present body for perhaps the first time in years. After her, Matt no longer concerned himself with the concept of inevitable annihilation. No- because she made Matt feel alive, and more than just the feeling he got when he would miraculously thrash back into consciousness from the brink of death. She made him want to live.

He decided that she was far too good for annihilation, and maybe he could deserve to be too, by her side. His own personal St. Helena. 

☆☆☆

Hell’s Kitchen was usually hot during the spring into the summer, but today it was really living up to its name. The walk to work was not nearly as relaxing as Matt hoped it would be. Tugging at the tie around his neck in barely masked irritation, he thought about how much he’d grown to hate wearing these suits. He loved his job- he really did. But sometimes he shamefully doubted his capability, and well- the entire legal systems’ capability to really protect its people. 

But he tried not to dwell on that thought. 

Which is why as he rounded the final corner to the newly christened Nelson and Murdock he straightened his shoulders, adjusted his glasses, and plastered his typically friendly grin that he sincerely hoped would throw Foggy off the scent that something was wrong. 

Of everything, Matt felt the worst about lying to Foggy. He was the closest thing that Matt had, or may ever have, to family. And lately Matt was lying to him and dodging his attempts at quality time that wasn't well- work, more and more. 

As he stepped through the front doors of the rundown building where the office was housed, he was able to breathe a sigh of relief. The sensation of the AC, while poor, was greatly appreciated in contrast to the thick, suffocating heat outside that only made his head spin more than it already was. From here he could smell the coffee that Karen had brought in, and could hear the faint echoes of the friendly morning conversation she was having with Foggy. It made him smile. To be reminded of the friends he did have, and that was enough for him. As he pushed open the front door to the office Foggy was up to greet him immediately.

“Matt! You’re-” he paused to look at his watch for dramatic effect, “exactly 46 seconds late.” Despite the nature of the jab, Matt could practically hear the big smile that his best friend wore.

Matt raised his hands in defense, playing along with a smile of his own. “My deepest apologies, Foggy, please forgive me, I’ll do anything.” Foggy gave a laugh while Karen stifled her own as Matt folded up his cane and tucked it under his shoulder. 

“I’ll tell you how you can make it up to us.” Foggy continued as he followed Matt into his office. Matt sat down in his chair and pulled his meticulously organized files out of his briefcase, spreading the brailed paper over his desk in the way he remembered leaving off the night before. 

“Oh yeah? How’s that?” Matt responded, raising an apprehensive eyebrow as his fingers settled over the brail. 

“You, my beautiful, annoying, friend can come out to Josie’s with me and Karen tonight.” Foggy spoke with vindication in hopes that Matt wouldn’t put up a fight. But as Foggy had said many times before, Matt was annoying. He breathed a regretful sigh as he brought his hands back to his lap, his full attention now on his friend as he was mentally preparing another horse shit lie about why he couldn’t go out tonight. 

“Look Foggy I-” He didn’t get any further before Foggy cut him off with an annoyed groan of his own.

“No ‘look Foggy’ Matt! You haven't been out with us in weeks, and you’re working yourself into the ground, and not in the hot way.” Foggy persisted, “Come on, you deserve a night off.” He gently clapped Matt on the shoulder in encouragement. “Plus you kind of left us high and dry on the last case so-”

“Hey and I apologized for th-” Matt attempted to defend himself before Foggy cut in again.

“Ah ah ah Matthew let me finish.” He scolded playfully. “What I was saying was you kind of left us high and dry on the last case, which you are forgiven for, but consequently I had to outsource for some extra help while you were doing whatever you were doing. And I want you to meet her seriously, she’s become a quick friend. Plus Karen loves her, and misses you, we’d both really like it if you came out with us tonight.” Foggy’s tone turned serious, he just wanted Matt to relax a little. He honestly had no inclination as to what the hell Matt got up to at night, or why he had virtually disappeared from the office for the past week and a half. Spoiler alert: it was broken ribs, but Matt had told everyone he had the flu, and refused any offers for soup and home visits. But Foggy didn’t find much pressure to look too much into Matt’s behavior. Matt was his best friend, and even best friends had their own private secrets, and Foggy was okay with that. As long as he knew Matt was okay, he could let him have his own space. 

Matt was very grateful for that. 

And so he bent, and gave into his friends’ request. “Yeah. Yeah okay, I’ll go, you’re right.” His head fell back as he raised his hands in mock surrender. 

“Yes! We’re going after work, you won’t regret it.” Foggy rejoiced in his small victory. 

Matt couldn’t help but smile as his friend left his office with a celebratory “He said yes!” followed by excited cheers from Karen. 

He didn’t realize it at the time, but he really wouldn’t end up regretting taking Foggy’s offer.

Taglist💗: @freshabogados

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

May 2021 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 12 fin - that was a long arse final ep, but solid performances. I liked that we focused on the fallout amongst the side characters. (Very clever of them to depict Chap with Tae, his Y-Destiny pairing. Especially as both actors are slated for new BL roles with different partners again, The Tuxedo and You’re My Sky.) The camera certainly enjoyed wallowing in Sib & Gene’s separation, but that’s an Asian drama for you. They like to DWELL. (Frankly, I like a bit of wallowing myself.) I thought the inclusion of the “actual” writer at the very end thoroughly unnecessary. I don’t think they had to beat us over the head with the 4th wall meta quite that much. Still, this is probably one of the best BLs we’re getting from non-GMMtV Thailand this year. RECOMMENDED 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) I found the first half uninteresting but once Casper the Friendly Gay showed up it was fine. The ghost reminded me a bit of Fuse from MIR. 

Close Friend Ep 4: (Just One Life) - is it just me or is Talay insanely charismatic? Anygay, the director got ahold of a drone for this one and would like us to KNOW ABOUT THAT FACT. Look, I just don’t think YoonLay have great chemistry but this was alright, cute enough. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 6 - This was a better installment than we’ve had in a while. I like the obsession vs love explanation from Mork, insightful if creepy. Meen & Duean are okay, I guess. A bit annoying. Everyone in this show is a bit annoying. But the wipe toothpaste then wipe eye crud got to me. Toothpaste in the eye, yech! And then I was all, oh that’s basically this show: toothpaste in the eye. It just reviewed itself. (Also why do they keep switching aspect ratio between the two pairs? It’s like they were filming with two completely different camera types... oh. ah. Weird, GMMTV usually doesn’t make mistakes like that.) 

Call it What You Want Ep 6 fin - I skipped to the last ep on this, I told you I do that sometimes to find out what happened. So CIWYW ends happy for the main couple, but trigger warnings on: eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, mental abuse, and a few other things. If you don’t mind your BL dark, gritty, self aware, and honest then you should be okay with this show. But if your preference is for fluff, then there are other fish in the sky. Speaking of... 

Nitiman Ep 2 - Giving me My Engineer vibes. This is OLD school Thai uni BL. I kinda feel like it was meant to come out in 2018, the gap year that was, but I am SO GRATEFUL we’re getting it now. Pay TF attention FUTS this is how you redeem a tsundere uke. Also I love that Bboom is just a terrible flirt and the football match twist was great. I love this show.  

Top Secret Together Ep 1 - it’s out there but no eng subs. It’s an office set romance with multiple couples all tangential to one building. A bit stilted and low production values but I’m intrigued. I hope we get subs... eventually.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 9 - gets the safe sex gold star for lube + condoms AND a verse discussion? Not to mention asking for sex advice from queer fam? Is this a first in BL? Might be. (I still think it’s weird that product placement hasn’t jumped on the lube bandwagon, too slippery perhaps?) I like the embezzlement drama. I always enjoy good outside conflict playing to setting, and this is the kind to be easily resolved in next week’s finale. What a roller coster this series has been. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 5 - I LOVE THIS SHOW. A heartbeat after i thought, “they better address what he’s doing to the girls he’s dating,” they did it. Clever scripting that. The messaging is gorgeous, the idea that pride and media coverage and knowing about a changing world can broaden minds and lead to acceptance was basically Taiwan making a case for itself paving the way for marriage equality in Asia. Genius. 

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 1 (AKA 4) - dropped with subs and improved production values, someone is learning (or got more dough). The younger brother’s drama is a bit confusing, but I am here for cute boyfriends being cute boyfriends together. And I love that they took the seme’s previous pair (from Nation’s Brother) to be the faen fatale, very crafty of them. Even though it’s not a trope I like, there’s great chemistry all around. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 6 - I weirdly love this show, okay? I’m just hoping Long has known Minh’s secret all along and is playing a reverse long con cat & mouse game, waiting for Minh to tell him the truth. Because that would be THE BEST. I could do without the faen fatale but ya can’t have everything. (I’m so glad it’s not the standard 6 ep arc, MOAR!!!) 

Gossip 

Rumor is GMMTV Thailand started shooting Baker Boys (here’s the teaser trailer). This is a remake of Antique (AKA Antique Bakery) a 2008 Korean movie (you can watch it on Viki) which is a remake of Antique (a 2001 Japanese series) with is an adaptation of wildly popular manga Antique Bakery. Knowing the plot I’m not sure this will qualify as BL. I’m still predicting Lee gets his first gay kiss in this series from Singto. More details about this series here. 

Breaking News

Love Area release pushed out, reportedly due to C19. (source DramaCool) 

Be Love In House: I Do (Taiwan, of course, with that title) got a new softer trailer (no subs). It drops next week, May 19, 2021 on Viki. All the information I have is here. 

Tangential to BL 

Two BL-adjacent shows, both from Taiwan. 

I’m watching Love is Science? on Viki which has a het foundation, but it’s a good one. There’s a BL side couple who are on an enemies to lovers slow burn trajectory; featuring a disaster bi slut meets elegant bad ass super gay. So there’s THAT. The mains are an older career woman and the sweet boy from her distant past who has pined for her for years. (He is the softest sweetest service sub you ever saw.) Props to Taiwan for a seriously underused het dynamic. As usual in Asian rom coms the straight boy love interest is a Perfect Cinnamon Role (yes I’m looking at you True Beauty & Love O2O) but I find Taiwan’s version more palatable than Korea’s or Mainland China’s. It’s not finished yet but... RECOMMENDED. 

Starting this week is Love Outlet a 50 (?!) episode show about a mall that sells relationships. It is supposed to have a main gay romance, but it might be a side dish. Very little else known about it. Coming to Line TV.

Honestly, I’m at the point where if Taiwan makes it, I’ll probably watch it. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Starting:

Be Loved In House: I Do (Taiwan) 

Golden Blood (Thailand) we think, like Love Area this may be delayed due to surging C19 cases 

Love Outlet (Taiwan) we think 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[thefanficmonster]

Oblivious

Valkyrae (Rae) x Reader (Gender Neutral) ft. Corpse Husband

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: In the most desperate of times, we may or may not be used to hearing the phrase ‘Beggers can’t be choosers’ which is exactly why Y/N’s found themself asking the most hopeless of cases when it comes to love and romance - Corpse, for help.

Requested by Xara. Hi darling! Thank you so much for this wonderful request you’ve sent me - I love writing for Rae (excuse my bi excitement, I’m just a HUGE simp) and I can’t thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to do so. Sorry it’s been two months since you requested this but here it finally is and I hope it makes up for the wait. Love, Vy ❤

“Corpse, I’m in desperate need for help.“ I don’t even bother with a friendly or even polite greeting. Being best friends for as long as we have, Corpse and I excluded the politeness that comes with phone calls a long time ago, especially when calling with an emergency. Though, let’s be honest, if I’m calling him on the phone and not on video chat like I usually do, it is an emergency.

“Given that you’re asking me, I can imagine how desperate you are.“ He has the audacity to laugh in response, causing me to roll my eyes. 

Now, don’t get the wrong idea - I love Corpse with all my heart. Him and I have been through A LOT together considering we know each other since we were teenagers. However, there are some instances in life when he simply doesn’t get me. Not that he doesn’t try to, he does and does so very hard, but he rarely succeeds. Trying is what matters, of course. Given that he is my only close friend, I can only ever turn to him with my problems though I try my best not to bother him too much, but when things get REALLY tough, I can’t help but go and vent to him. Luckily, he’s always been very understanding, but it may be because he feels like he owes me for all the times he has turned to me with his problems. I’ve tried to explain that he shouldn’t feel such a way, but that’s rather hypocritical of me cause I feel the same way.

Alright, enough digressing, back on track!

“Desperate doesn’t even begin to summarize how I feel.“ I sigh, plopping down on the couch in my living room, kicking my feet up on the coffee table as I cover my eyes with my hand. “Brutally miserable is, I think, the correct term to use here.“

I hear Corpse let out a quiet ‘oof’, one I think he hoped I wouldn’t hear. “And what led you to finally give in and ask for help, not that I can offer you much?”

I can’t help but snort at that, a snort that serves as a replacement to slapping myself across the face. “Rae texted me yesterday asking if I’d like to play Minecraft with her and I took THREE HOURS to respond! Not on purpose, I just couldn’t think of something good to say!” I know I sound like a whiney kid, but I think I’ve passed that threshold LONG ago. Of course, this whiney kid version of me only surfaces around Corpse and Corpse only. No one else is allowed to see me like this or that would legit be the end of any sort of pride I may have left in me.

“You mean you couldn’t choose between ‘Sure, I’d like that!’ and ‘Of course, I’d love to!’? Please say yes.“ Corpse already sounds disappointed and he hasn’t even heard the worst of it yet.

“No and sit tight, it gets worse. I...“

He cuts me off, “Wait, no, don’t say it. Let me guess - you turned her down? Keep in mind if you say yes I’m hanging up on you.”

I remain silent, pinching the bridge of me nose and cringing as hard as my facial muscles are willing to allow. I can’t say yes, not cause he’ll hang up but because admitting it makes it more real, and the more real it is the more depressed it’ll make me and I will go back to being a self-deprecating mess that refuses to be productive or properly functioning - aka ‘Whiney Kid Maximum’.

“I’m hanging up.“ Corpse says after waiting five seconds for my response that only comes in the form of dead silence which is more than enough of an answer in and of itself.

“No, please don’t!“ I squeak out despite my agony, “I’ll never break the cycle if you don’t help me, Corpse! I’m a hopeless case!“

“You’re a hopeless case with or without me, Y/N.“ He states, angering me ever so slightly. “Not only cause you really are, but because I have nothing useful to offer you. Not even a single advice. Even if I did, giving it to you would by hypocritical when considered how bad I am on this field myself. Hell, the very person you’re head over heels for is my personal matchmaker. If anything, you should be asking her how to swoon her...“ He pauses.

So does my brain.

For a second we’re both quiet, the silence on the line suggesting big plans are being developed - well, not on my end but still.

“Now there’s an idea...“ He mutters more to himself than to me.

“No!“ I shriek fearfully, “Please, if you love me even the tiniest bit, Corpse, don’t put me in a situation where I have to be alone with Rae! Not IRL not in a Discord call - not in ANYTHING. I close up and end up seeming unfriendly and rude because of my inability to talk to her like a normal human being! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t do it! So please don’t make me.“

I maybe can’t read minds, but hell if I can’t at least have a rough guess of what’s on my best friend’s mind - I know he’s already scheming and coming up with odd solutions to my problem - some of which will cause me more problems but let’s not even mention those. That being said, I need to prevent him from actually carrying out any of his absurd schemes, otherwise it’s game over for me.

“Hmm, ok fine, but only cause I wanna spare you your own awkwardness. Consider it charity.“ He sighs, the disappointment even more evident now.

I sigh too, but I do so in defeated relief. It’s bittersweet, to be honest. “Thank you.”

“Don’t.“ He says sharply, “Don’t thank me. It’ll make me feel like I’m encouraging your behavior.“

Well, screw my feelings, I guess. I’m left on this battlefield alone, aren’t I?

Corpse hanging up the call confirms that I am, indeed, alone.

                                                             *  *  *

“Hello?“

“Are you still in bed, for the love of God? It’s noon!“ Not only did he have the audacity to wake me up with his phone call, but now he has the audacity to judge me on my sleeping habits as well. Some darn nerve he has.

“What do you want, Corpse?“ I grumble out, groggy and now grumpy too. The last thing I need is the only person I can turn to turning on me. Especially not now. I don’t need his or anybody else’s judgement of me or my life, it’ll hurt too much.

“I want to know how long you haven’t showered, Y/N.“ He barks back, causing me to roll my eyes. “And when’s the last time you actually ate something healthy and nutritious and not just greasy takeout?”

“I showered last night!“ I straighten up and frown, feeling offended despite his questions being justifiable. I think that’s exactly why I’m pissed off, to be honest - he knows me and my habits too well. “And you’re just being hypocritical on the eating part!“

“Whatever.“ He mutters, allowing me to feel at least a tiny sense of victory for having proven him wrong, “Get your ass up and come play Minecraft with me, you need to be cheered up asap.“ He continues, much to my dismay. “And don’t even think about saying ‘no’. If you do, just remember, I have your address and a strong will to kick your ass into shape.“

“Into shape? We’re going to the gym or something?“ I’m honestly confused and intrigued now. Maybe the gym isn’t such a bad idea, I’m sure I could become really good friends with the punching bag.

Corpse sighs exasperatedly in a way I can basically hear him roll his eyes as well, “Not that kind of shape, Y/N. Just get on Discord, seriously, I’m worried about you.“ 

That sentence strikes a nerve. Something about that genuine concern in his voice reminds me that I still need to move on from focusing so strongly on just my failures, no matter how big or small, and keep pushing forward, if not for myself then for the people who care about me. For Corpse especially, seeing as how he’s sort of been my babysitter ever since my feelings towards Rae started to consume me whole and suffocate me. I don’t know how or when it happened, in fact I can best describe it as the Titanic: I was doing ok and then instead of hitting an iceberg the iceberg of feelings hit me and I started sinking. Corpse was there to offer me a hand to help me keep at least my head above the surface. He can’t pull me out of the water but he’s not willing to let go either. I’m afraid holding on like that will tire him out to the point of letting go of me completely, but I’m afraid of sinking too. You see my dilemma here, no?

“Ok, give me twenty minutes.“

I would have probably continued sleeping or just chilled on social media, refusing to get out of bed for at least another hour, but the debt I feel towards Corpse is stronger than the desire to be a slob so I motivate myself with every power my fragile mind can fish out of the void and push the covers off me, shivering at the drastic change in temperature around my body now that I’m exposed to the rather cool air in my room, my pajamas hopeless at providing me with any warmth.

Twenty minutes later sharp, I’m seated at my desk, in front of my computer with my headphones on, taking one last encouraging breath before entering the call where Corpse is waiting for me.

“Yo.“ I greet him half-heartedly, drawing invisible abstract patterns on my desk with my finger as if I’m avoiding eye contact with him IRL.

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of punctuality at least.“ He chuckles, sounding a lot more pleasant and a lot more like my friend Corpse and less like sergeant Corpse Husband who was speaking with me on the phone earlier.

“Very funny.“ I murmur in my now common brooding manner, “Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing? Anything interesting happen since we last spoke?“

“You mean in the past ten hours? No, nothing interesting apart from that I managed to catch a few z’s.“ He replies as I join the Minecraft server, managing to get a smile out of me.

“Hey, that’s nice to hear! Good for you, Corpsie.“ I say, honestly proud and happy for him.

“Yeah, and just so you’re not calling me hypocritical on the topic of eating, I’m currently cooking myself lunch.“ He points out, now just straight up peacocking, “On that note, I got a pot on the stove so you’ll have to excuse me for a sec.“

“Please go. Don’t set your apartment on fire the first time you cook” I snicker, leaning back in my chair and fetch my phone to kill the time while he’s gone to tend to whatever attempt at a meal he has prepping in his kitchen. I feel bad for his stomach, and his kitchen, already.

“Corpse? Hi!“

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no - tell me that was an auditory hallucination and I didn’t actually hear that just now! TELL ME!

“Rae?“ I blurt out, almost falling backwards out of my chair, eyes wide, jaw hanging slightly.

Just then I get a text from Corpse:

Consider me dead and carry the convo. I know you’ve got this, Y/N

Oh that prick is gonna get it!

“Y/N? Hi! Sorry, Corpse didn’t mention you’d be playing with us, but it’s so nice to be hearing from you! It feels like it’s been forever.“ Rae replies, cheery and enthusiastic as ever, just like the absolute sweetheart she is.

With Corpse absent from his position, without his metaphorical hand holding mine, I’m metaphorically sinking and drowning. Maybe the drowning part isn’t so metaphorical after all, considering I actually am drowning in all the thoughts produced by my mind at the moment. A mind that’s going completely haywire, might I add.

“Hehe, well, funny thing, he didn’t tell me you’d be playing with us either.“ I chuckle anxiously, already breaking out in a nervous sweat. I solemnly promise to kill Corpse first chance I get, that way he’ll at least be dead for real.

“He set us up, huh? What’s his game, where even is he?“ Rae asks, properly confused as she should be.

All on-point questions, hun. And I can’t answer any of them logically.

“Um, you know, he’s off doing...something.“ And there go my conversational skills out the window, I hope they send me a postcard one day.

“Whatever, enough about Mr. Ominous. Tell me, what’s been keeping you busy?“ Oh crap, this is the question I’ve been fearing. Mostly cause I’m not prepared for it. “Actually no, let me rephrase: Why have you been avoiding me recently?“

‘Oh crap’ squared. Tripled.

“Whaaat? Avoiding you? Where’d you get that idea?“ I’m aware of my high pitched voice, but it’s not like I can do much to tone it down. Every part of me is in critical panic mode and rationality has accompanied my aforementioned conversational skills out the window.

“I don’t know, Y/N. Ignoring my texts, leaving me on ‘Seen’ and then declining my offer just to accept the same one coming from Corpse - can’t really blame me for finding it shady.“ She replies, her words making me wince and hide my face in the palms of my hands as though it’ll shield me from Rae’s brutal honesty and forthrightness. 

“I’ve been...bad at replying to everyone lately, nothing personal, I swear.“ Yeah, that sounded convincing, good gosh-darn job, Y/N!

“Why’s that?“ Something about her tone suggest she knows I’m lying and is just humoring me and my agony. I don’t know if to thank her for it or wish she’d just rip off the band-aid and confront me head-on. In that case I’d have only one of two options: freeze up or spill my guts. Honestly, I don’t know which is worse. “I thought you’d reach out to me, given you’ve found yourself in a pickle.”

I frown, confused and wary like I’m walking on thin ice over a pool of sharks, “Pickle? What pickle?“

“Corpse mentioned you needed dating advice.“ She replies simply as though it should’ve been obvious and as if it’s the most casual, regular and normal thing. Little does she know...

“Um, yeah, I guess you can call it that.“ I murmur sheepishly, my cheeks reddening.

“Who’s the lucky girl?“ She asks, the excitement now replacing the previous suspicion she was fronting, making me nervous as hell.

My heart skips a beat, “How’d you know I’m crushing on a girl?“

“Uh...“ She stumbles over her words, pausing to collect her thoughts and formulate a response, “Corpse told me!“ When the reply finally arrives it’s as high pitched as mine was earlier, suggesting something ain’t right.

I stay quiet, my mind and heart racing which is quicker. My leg is bouncing, my fingers are tapping the keyboard rhythmically as I rack my brain, pushing it to put the pieces of this enigmatic puzzle together, connect the dots.

When it finally does, I’m left with a horrific end-result, a realization that makes me go pale as a ghost, “He told you who said girl is too, didn’t he?” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I keep the tone low so she doesn’t notice how shaky it is.

It takes her a few seconds to reply, but when she does I kinda wish she hadn’t, “Maybe...”

My first instinct is to excuse myself from the call, pack all my kitchen knives and drive to Corpse’s house but with my limbs having lost any and all feeling in them that is practically impossible. So, I settle for my second instinct which is hiding my face in the palms of my hands as though they can shield me from the immense embarrassment Corpse has set me up for.

“Listen...“ I start, not sure where I wanna go with this, “You don’t have to say anything, I get the hint. No need to bother with a gentle reje-“

“I like you too, Y/N!“ Rae cuts off my rambling with a melodic laugh, “I’m sorry, but you can be very oblivious sometimes, and I just wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine for a bit. Sorry if I freaked you out.“ Judging by her tone, she’s not sorry at all. In fact, she’s one step away from bursting out into laughter.

“Trust me, ‘freaked out’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.“ I sigh, exasperatedly, sinking into my chair alike a deflated balloon. “You and Corpse are gonna pay for that heart attack you led me to the brink of!”

This time, she doesn’t hold back, letting out the laughter she’s been holding back this whole time, “I don’t know how Corpse will do that, but could I pay my dues with a brunch on Friday?”

My eyebrows shoot up, “Miss Valkyrae, is this you asking me out on a date?“ I ask teasingly - aka with more confidence than I feel.

Please say ‘yes’. Please say ‘yes’. Please say ‘yes’.

“I don’t know, what do you think, Y/N?“ She asks, tone just as teasing as mine.

“Hey, I’m not as oblivious as you claim I am!“ I argue light-heartedly, “Does 2PM work for you?“

“Any time works for me.“ Rae replies, a smile blatantly evident in her voice. A smile that unleashes a flock of butterflies in my stomach.

And just like that, I have a date with the girl I’ve had a crush on for the longest time. It happened so fast it’s practically a blurred part in my mind, but one thing I’m sure will be crystal-clearly imbedded in my mind forever is that brunch on Friday. Just then, I get yet another text from Mr. Schemer himself.

That wasn’t so hard now, was it?

Some nerve he has, I swear to God.