#from chapters 28 and 54 respectively

[lateleviathan]

terrible influence (affectionate)

[nanaminokanojo]

ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE | Sukuna X You | CHAPTER INDEX I /PROLOGUE (Part 1-68)

-meet cute? a cheesy musical number? forget it! love makes itself known to you through a minor car accident, a broken arm, and a treacherously charming temporary chauffeur

CHARACTERS: sukuna x you/reader | jjk characters (uraume, gojo, geto, shoko, nanami, choso, maki, nobara, mei-mei, etc.)

GENRE: full-length smau + prose | bad boy x good girl | college au | a lot of firsts | aged-up characters | strangers to lovers | smut | fluff | angst | ooc depictions - soft sukuna ftw

TW/CW: strong/mature language | adult content so mdni on some parts | mentions of alcohol and/or smoking | mentions of injury, promiscuity and bullying | pet names because they're cute with 2D men | toxic behavior | will add more if something arises

AKI’S NOTES: Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated, and I actively respond to comments as well as Asks. Also, if you’re interested, I will include you in the tag list. Just message me through whatever avenue you’re most comfortable with. Happy reading!

MASTERLIST

A/N: Yup. Intrigue and a video right off the bat.

CHAPTERS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45

46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60

61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | CHAPTER INDEX II

ADDITIONAL NOTES: i will be using pics and other media which would fit situations and make the smau-ness of this piece a little more realistic and entertaining when i believe it’s appropriate/fitting to the plot (as i've done with my other smau). having said that, with regard to inclusivity, i just want to put it out there that they will not necessarily be aimed as the exact descriptions to fit a supposedly generic reader nor will they be representative of a specific race or color. it’s all for the simple fact of media availability, for funsies and the fact that i don’t exclusively write in consideration of those aspects when using reader-insert characters unless i specify it. thank you for understanding.

TAG LIST: CLOSED

PLEASE READ: If you wanna be included in the tag list, please make sure that your “Exclude __(tumblr username)__ from Tumblr search and recommendations” setting is OFF so I can actually tag you guys and you'll get notifs when I update. Thank you very much.

Here's a reference for the instructions from domainofmarie. Thank you very much, my friend. This is very helpful.

A/N: I have another version of this story somewhere on the internet with different characters, and I thought, why not make it a Sukuna smau. So excited for this! This'll probably come out this weekend lol or the next if push comes to shove.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI’S “JUJUTSU KAISEN”. [20240514]

PHOTOS/IMAGES/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS GO TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[wandafiction]

Just Us - Series List Chapter 1 -98

Y/n is a multimillionaire. Wanda Maximoff is a divorced mum of two twin boys who is trying her best. What happens when their paths cross at a club and Y/n takes Wanda home for the night?

Warnings: This story is an 18+ read, Minors DNI, contains talks and description of Death, Accidents, Injury, Child Loss, Abuse (Physical and Emotional), Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Suggestive themes, Smut (Each Chapter With Themes Explained), Angst (Lots of It), And Some Fluff Thrown in because I felt bad. Top Reader, Bottom Wanda

Each chapter will come with their own warnings.

This is a story that I have put up on my Wattpad and my Ao3 and thought I would share it here for more of you wonderful people. I do hope you enjoy this read. There will be mistakes here and there and maybe some incorrect translations.

So this is an AU story with the MCU characters. So the ages and story lines with be changed and different from that in the movies. 

I will right some history for each character as the story progresses just so ages and other things make sense. 

All the Character's in this are played by their respective actors and certain aspects of the MCU have been added in. But once again its not going to be an alternative marvel story it is a completely different universe. 

I don't own any if the MCU characters.

Master List

Chapter List

Chapter 1 - Yours or Mine

Chapter 2 18+ - First Time

Chapter 3 - How Much

Chapter 4 18+ - Beautiful

Chapter 5 - Accent

Chapter 6 - The Twins

Chapter 7 - Just Add 8

Chapter 8 - Panic Attack

Chapter 9 - Sounds Like A date

Chapter 10 - Happy Tears

Chapter 11 - Twenty Percent

Chapter 12 - Favourite Colour

Chapter 13 - Ex-husbands Clothes

Chapter 14 18+ - Trust is Not Like Candy

Chapter 15 - Morning Bliss

Chapter 16 - Sisterly Advice

Chapter 17 - Lunch Date

Chapter 18 - Not By Blood, By Choice

Chapter 19 18+ - Frozen Peas

Chapter 20 - Scarlet Witch

Chapter 21 - Iron Man

Chapter 22 18+ - Love Language

Chapter 23 - The Friends

Chapter 24 - Hela's Kitchen

Chapter 25 - The Question

Chapter 26 - From Second To First

Chapter 27 - Mr Blue Sky

Chapter 28 - Protective Friend

Chapter 29 - It's Real To Me

Chapter 30 - Pile On

Chapter 31 18+ - Water Fight

Chapter 32 - Head Scratches

Chapter 33 - Billy's Discovery

Chapter 34 - Superhero Trio

Chapter 35 - Pancakes and L Bombs.

Chapter 36 - 10 Out Of 10 Dive

Chapter 37 - Tickle Monster

Chapter 38 - Sarah Stark

Chapter 39 - Love Persevering

Chapter 40 - First Meeting

Chapter 41 - Hear, Listen, Take It In

Chapter 42 - Touch

Chapter 43 - Mockingbird

Chapter 44 - Family

Chapter 45 - Search Party

Chapter 46 - Bowl Of Popcorn

Chapter 47 - Pet Names

Chapter 48 18+ - Trying Something New

Chapter 49 - French Braids

Chapter 50 - Not Taking Advantage

Chapter 51 - To Understand Someone

Chapter 52 - The Row

Chapter 53 18+ - I Need You

Chapter 54 - Your Flaws Are Your Strengths

Chapter 55 18+ - Jealousy

Chapter 56 - I Can't Be Here

Chapter 57 - Stephanie Grace Turner

Chapter 58 - Zak The Waiter

Chapter 59 18+ - Declarations

Chapter 60 - Clingy

Chapter 61 - Triple Chocolate Brownies

Chapter 62 - Watch Me

Chapter 63 - Grown-Up Conversations

Chapter 64 - A+

Chapter 65 18+ - Dynamic

Chapter 66 - You Don't Get It

Chapter 67 - Conditioned

Chapter 68 - Selachimorpha

Chapter 69 - Beed Stroganoff

Chapter 70 - Ruby-Throated Hummingbird

Chapter 71 - Realisations

Chapter 72 - Princess

Chapter 73 - The Talk

Chapter 74 - Black Widow

Chapter 75 - Can I Join You

Chapter 76 - Люли, люли, люленьки

Chapter 77 - Moose

Chapter 78 - Aurora Borealis

Chapter 79 - Calgary

Chapter 80 18+ - Mirror

Chapter 81 - Massage and Important Conversations

Chapter 82 - Banff

Chapter 83 - Strawberries

Chapter 84 - Bayushki Bayu

Chapter 85 - Cookies

Chapter 86 18+ - Control

Chapter 87 - Hyper Puppy

Chapter 88 - Treehouse

Chapter 89 - 312

Chapter 90 - Forgiveness

Chapter 91 18+ - Always Feel Good

Chapter 92 - Your Third Love

Chapter 93 18+ - Daddy

Chapter 94 - Home

Chapter 95 - Stalker

Chapter 96 - Can't Catch A Break

Chapter 97 18+ - Mile High Club

Chapter 98 - Happy

Series List 99 -

[differentpostrebel]

Master List! 

A/N: Hi everyone! Here is the masterlist for my work. I will also be uploading them onto AO3. A little bit about me is that I love to write, read, watch anime, and more!. I am 27 years old, and writing has just been my way to get either a message out there or to tell a story. Some stories will have bonus chapters so that we can dive in some more on details that may not have been featured on the main series. Each one will say a bonus chapter on them. I will also write:  Short series,  Long Series,  One shots.  Some of the chapters may contain strong language, violence, smut, etc. Listed below are the works I have done and the new ones that will be worked on once I completed the series or works done.  Lost and Found: A Pirate’s Promise- Sanji x Y/N, One piece x Reader- (On going) Synopsis: 

Y/N is an established pirate and a formidable warrior, with the third highest bounty in the Straw Hat crew. She's not just another member; her strength and skills have earned her a respected spot among the crew. Sanji, our favorite lovesick cook, falls head over heels for Y/N almost immediately. True to his nature, he tries every trick in the book to catch her attention, from cooking her favorite meals to showering her with compliments. On the other hand, Y/N may have a small crush on Sanji, but she’s cautious and focused on her goals as a pirate. As the story progresses, that small crush gradually blossoms into something more profound, but their journey together won't be easy. With the chaos of the New World looming, the dangers they face will test their bond and loyalty to each other. Will their love be strong enough to survive the trials ahead, or will the perils of their pirate life tear them apart?

Chapter 1,

Chapter 2,

Chapter 3,

Chapter 4,

Chapter 5,

Chapter 6,

Chapter 7,

Chapter 8,

Chapter 9,

Chapter 10,

Chapter 11,

Chapter 12,

Chapter 13,

Chapter 14,

Chapter 15,

Chapter 16,

Chapter 17,

Chapter 18,

Chapter 19,

Chapter 20,

Chapter 21,

Chapter 22,

Chapter 23,

Chapter 24,

Chapter 25,

Chapter 26,

Chapter 27,

Chapter 28,

Chapter 29,

Chapter 30,

Chapter 31,

Chapter 32,

Chapter 33,

Chapter 34,

Chapter 35,

Chapter 36

Chapter 37,

Chapter 38 ,

Chapter 39 ,

Chapter 40 ,

Chapter 41

Chapter 41.5 (Bonus Chapter) ,

Chapter 42 ,

Chapter 43

Chapter 44 ,

Chapter 45 ,

Chapter 46 ,

Chapter 47 ,

Chapter 48 Part 1 ,

Chapter 48 Part 2,

Chapter 49 Part 1 ,

Chapter 49 Part 2 ,

Chapter 50 ,

Chapter 51 ,

Chapter 52

Chapter 53 part 1

Chapter 53 Part 2

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60 part 2

Chapter 61 part 1 , part 2, part 3(new)

Queen of the Night-Halloween special ft Sanji and Usopp

Die with a Smile - Portgas D. Ace x Y/N- Synopsis: Y/N, the determined daughter of Fleet Admiral Sakazuki, and Ace, the free-spirited son of Gol D. Roger, have always been bound by their legacies. After going their separate ways to pursue their own pirate dreams, they find themselves crossing paths once again. As they face off against the dangers of the Grand Line, old wounds resurface, and the sparks between them become impossible to ignore. With freedom and their futures on the line, can they overcome their pasts and the expectations that threaten to pull them apart?

Chapter 1: Beginnings

Chapter 2: Taste

Chapter 3: Changes

Chapter 4: Dreamin

Chapter 5: We meet again

Chapter 6: Coming soon

[smolwritingchick]

Forced To Believe Masterlist

A Dean Ambrose x OC story! The Shield 4th member.

Summary: Taking place during the start of The Shield's debut in 2012, follow Morgan Lopez's career as she becomes a member of The Shield, revamps herself as The Outspoken Diva and makes a name for herself in WWE.

OC Profile of Morgan Lopez

Chapter 1- So, You Wanna Wrestle?

Chapter 2- My WWE Debut

Chapter 3- Fighting Back

Chapter 4- My First Wrestlemania

Chapter 5- Becoming Heel

Chapter 6- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 1

Chapter 7- The Shield's Girl

Chapter 8- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 2

Chapter 9- The Shield Isn't Unstoppable

Chapter 10- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 4

Chapter 11- Justice Continues Being Served

Chapter 12- The Underdog from Philly

Chapter 13- Catching Up Before MITB

Chapter 14- Money In The Bank 2013

Chapter 15- Total Slap!

Chapter 16- Frustration

Chapter 17- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 5

Chapter 18- I Know What I Have To Do

Chapter 19- Do You Know Who I Am!?

Chapter 20- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 6

Chapter 21- Army of One

Chapter 22- Wiping That Smirk Off Your Face

Chapter 23- You Look Like You've Seen A Ghost

Chapter 24- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 7

Chapter 25- Mommy Knows Best

Chapter 26- Revenge Is Sweet

Chapter 27- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 8

Chapter 28- Is That You Being Serious?

Chapter 29- In Due Time

Chapter 30- Trying To Gain Momentum

Chapter 31- The Slammy Awards

Chapter 32- That Was A Miracle

Chapter 33- The Answer Is No

Chapter 34- Tribute To The Troops

Chapter 35- Morgan's Answer

Chapter 36- Move Thief

Chapter 37- Meeting Hot Rod

Chapter 38- Respect

Chapter 39- I Hate Snakes

Chapter 40- If Only You Knew

Chapter 41- Making A Statement

Chapter 42- Yikes

Chapter 43- Sister Abigail

Chapter 44- I Lost Her

Chapter 45- She Belongs To Us Now

Chapter 46- I See What You Want

Chapter 47- Armageddon

Chapter 48- Armageddon Part 2

Chapter 49- That Supernatural Stuff Don't Work

Chapter 50- What Are You Doing!?

Chapter 51- Things Got Personal

Chapter 52- He Kept His Word

Chapter 53- Harley Mode Was Captivating

Chapter 54- Rosa's Mind Games

Chapter 55- Togetherness

Chapter 56- Public Displays of Affection

Chapter 57- The Shield Against The Authority

Chapter 58- Bad News Dinner

Chapter 59- Getting The Upper Hand

Chapter 60- Annihilated

Chapter 61- Catching Up With Old Friends

Chapter 62- Wrestling's Fun

Chapter 63- Get Back Here!

Chapter 64- War

Chapter 65- Trust Is Dead To Us Now

Chapter 66- Confronting The Sellout

Chapter 67- Going Our Separate Ways

Chapter 68- They Can't Control Me

Chapter 69- Clock Is Ticking Morgan

Chapter 70- Outsmarting The Architect

Chapter 71- Closing The Chapter

Chapter 72- I Win (All Hell Breaks Loose)

[amelias-calamity-quintet]

3 caught my eye:

Chapter 28 Bitter Reunion

Chapter 36 Hearthside Chat

And the one I’m most interested in because my fluffy romantic heart is hoping for some sweet zelink:

Chapter 63 You’re My Hero

Thank you for the ask @mistresslrigtar! A big spread! I'll try to do them all justice.

Overworld Chapter 28 - Bitter Reunion

This chapter is following Link and Marela as they're headed to Zora's Domain to get the Zora's Armor that Marela made when she was younger so Link can proceed to Nayru's Temple. It follows a conversation in the previous chapter, Overworld Chapter 27 - Ebb & Flow, that Link and Marela had about some of their respective backstory stuff, but Marela's is more relevant to this chapter as it's the first time she's been back to Zora's Domain in a while and this meeting will require her speaking to her aunt and ambassador of the Hyrulean Zora, Natuma.

It goes. About as well as expected.

There are other beats in this chapter, like some teases at Link's past and the acquisition of the Zora's Armor itself, but the conversation with Natuma is the big beat of the chapter. It's very much Marela overcoming her fears to help with the quest, but also as a beat for herself in leaving behind her past as both a former priestess apprentice and as a child of nobility bound by station. And it highlights part of her skillset to the team, and that is as Zelda's chief socialite and gossip starter. Marela negotiates the Armor out from Natuma by using status against her. And it's her particular cunning that makes her such an asset to the team!

Overworld Chapter 36 - Hearthside Chat

Jumping ahead to the Din's Temple arc, it is at this point that Zelda is traveling with the main party for a bit so she can see one of the temples firsthand. Following some building tension between the princess and hero, the party stops in an inn beneath Death Mountain to rest since it's too dark to continue on that night.

What proceeds is a fireside chat with the inn's keepers, Khadla and Constant, around a meal that Link makes for the group. Some preview at the troubles in the region, questions about the two innkeepers, and Link definitely not getting flustered about Zelda complimenting his cooking. Sorry, Robin, we're in disguise. Man nearly chokes himself shoveling a rice ball in his mouth to avoid thanking her properly.

And then he goes and sticks his foot in his mouth with that end bit.

This was a really cozy chapter to write! Good food, warm atmosphere (proximity to volcano not included), cute warm fuzzies with the duo as their dancing around totally not accepting that they like each other. It also managed to give me the set up for a "jelly donut" joke, which is always a win. The name then is very literal in this case, they are chatting around a hearth. But a good comfort food chapter none the less!

Overworld Chapter 63 - You're My Hero

Unfortunately, not Zelink. But yes for sentimental absolutely! This chapter is when Link finally gets to tell his family about being the Hero, both the act and, now that he's drawn the Master Sword, the truth. It is a recovery chapter from Overworld Chapter 54 - Uprooted for him too, a first attempt on this conversation that goes terribly wrong and leads to a fight between him and his father when Link can't explain what happened and what the act was.

The name was picked for Floan, Link's sister, who is over the moon about the news because she's 10 and her brother's the Hero and that's the coolest thing since ever. Lance, his dad, on the other hand, is having I think a very real parental reaction (or as best as I could emulate) to finding out his son is tasked with the very dangerous (and not necessarily survivable) task of saving the world. And considering the terms in which he found out, very mixed emotions on it.

Floan and Lance are integral to MoaH as motivators for Link. They're the reason why, even after Link is actually for realsies proven to be the Hero and it's not just an act, they chose to keep the story going to keep the two identities separate. His family are just people. Lance is a retired mercenary, disabled and working as a florist. Floan's ten. They can't respond to the world in the same way Link or his companions can, and they're part of what he's fighting for to protect. The Zelink in MoaH is a fun plotline, and they absolutely defend each other. But his family was there first and they remain a core of who he is. He needed them to know.

Thank you again for the ask!

[ellekhen]

Hand, Hearth, and Home

- Master Post -

Summary

Pairing(s): Astarion x Male Tav (Main); Past OC x Male Tav Rating: Explicit Length: 420K+ words; Chapters 80/?? [ONGOING]

In their respective, wary calculations, Astarion and Church know that they very well could be the death of each other. Years after losing his childhood friend and first love, Church reminds himself not to get too attached. Sabotaging those plans is Astarion, who just won’t leave him alone — all in the name of using the warlock as a means to an end, of course.

But when Church’s friend unexpectedly returns as a certain guardian in their dreams, it makes his already conflicted, burgeoning feelings far more complicated. And yet, as the trust between him and Astarion grows, Church learns to let go of the past that holds him back from embracing a brighter future — no matter how uncertain it may be here at the vampire spawn’s side.

Start from the beginning!

Individual Chapter Posts 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | [...]

[dfroza]

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures

for the 22nd of july 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible

[the letter of 2nd Timothy, chapter 2 • the book of Numbers, chapter 25]

along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 22 and Psalm 22 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 33 for the 33rd day of Astronomical Summer, and Psalm 54 for day 204 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

A post by John Parsons:

Shavuah tov chaverim! Last week’s Torah portion (i.e., parashat Balak) first introduced us to a man named Phinehas (i.e., “Pinchas”), the son of Eleazar the priest and grandson of Aaron, who, during the tragic rebellion at Baal Peor, zealously removed evil from Israel by driving a spear through a tribal prince who was brazenly cavorting with a Midianite princess in defiance of God’s law. On account of Pinchas’ zeal for the truth of Torah, God stopped the plague and Israel was delivered from great destruction... This week’s Torah portion (i.e., parashat Pinchas) begins with the LORD rewarding Pinchas by granting him a “covenant of peace” (ברית שׁלום) and an everlasting priestly line in Israel (ברית כהנת עולם). As I hope you will see, Pinchas pictures the Messiah Yeshua, and the covenant of priesthood given to him is a picture of the greater priesthood after the order of Malki-Tzedek.

Jewish tradition says that when Aaron and his sons were commissioned as the exclusive priests of Israel (Exod. 40:12-15), the office applied only to themselves and to their future descendants. Since Aaron’s grandson Pinchas had already been born at the time the promise was given, however, he did not automatically receive this honor, especially since his father Eleazar (the son of Aaron) was married to an “outsider” -- namely, the daughter of Yitro (also called Putiel, Exod. 6:25). This explains Rashi’s statement about why the other tribes mocked Pinchas. How dare this “son of an outsider” kill a nassi (prince) of Israel (i.e., Zimri), especially since Pinchas’ mother was regarded as an idol worshipper! The LORD honored Pinchas’ zeal, however, and overruled the uncharitable tribalism of the Israelites, and he was therefore elevated to be a priest with special honor before the LORD.

God looks at the heart, chaverim, and is able to make those who have zeal for Him true priests of the LORD! You don’t have to be born Jewish to be chosen by the LORD God of Israel, since He’s “no respecter of persons” (Rom. 2:11). Not only can He create spiritual children of Abraham “from the stones of the ground” (Matt. 3:9; Luke 3:8), but He can turn someone considered a non-Jew (by the rabbis, anyway) into a highly honored priest of Israel (1 Pet. 2:9-10). Indeed, according to tradition, many descendants of Pinchas later became the most faithful of the High Priests of Israel during the First Temple period.

Note that according to one midrash, when Zimri and Cozbi (the Midianite princess) were cavorting, they actually ran inside the Tabernacle compound itself, directly past Moses and the people who were there weeping at its entrance (Num. 25:6)! Pinchas then took a spear from the Tabernacle guards and courageously followed after them. When he caught up with them within the Tent of Meeting itself, he pierced them through with the spear (Num. 25:7-8). After this, thousands of men from the tribe of Simeon ran in after him, seeking to kill him. Pinchas was in such a state of terror that “his soul left him” and he was reborn as a Kohen.

Parashat Pinchas (like parashat Emor in Leviticus) also mentions of all of the (sacrifices of the) mo’edim (holidays) given to the people Israel (Num. 28). These include the daily (tamid), weekly (Shabbat), monthly (Rosh Chodesh) sacrifices, as well as the sacrifices assigned to the special holidays: Passover, Shavuot, Rosh Hoshannah (Terumah), Yom Kippur, Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret. The sages said that remembering the joys of the Temple and the special celebrations of the Jewish people promote the call to do teshuvah during the otherwise somber time of the Three Weeks of Sorrow.

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Numbers 25:11a reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/num25-11a-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/num25-11a-lesson.pdf

Pinchas Torah Summary:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Pinchas/pinchas.html

Pinchas audio podcast:

https://hebrew4christians.com/training/parashat-pinchas/

7.21.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

[christian-perspectives]

Focus On The Lord Jesus

Sometimes we focus on trivial things instead of keeping our focus on the Lord. John the Apostle did that very thing when he observed a man ministering in the name of Jesus. These actions disturbed John because this man didn’t belong to their group. When he said something to Jesus about it, the Lord gave him the following response. But Jesus said, “Don’t stop him! Anyone who is not against you is for you.”  Luke 9:50  In this chapter, Luke entered twelve different events. We don't know if he entered them in chronological order or not. But it's interesting to note what he put before and after this event. Free eBook Before it, the disciples spent some time arguing who would be the greatest in heaven. Of course Jesus settle their argument with a simple illustration. Then he said to them, “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me also welcomes my Father who sent me. Whoever is the least among you is the greatest.” Luke 9:48 And immediately following our subject for today, Jesus had to rebuke James and John. Because, they wanted to call fire down from heaven on some Samaritans. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, “Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?”  But Jesus turned and rebuked them. Luke 9:54-55 So, John at that time might have been in an aggressive mode. Keep in mind Jesus nicknamed him and his brother James, the Sons of Thunder. Between those two incidents, John saw this. John said to Jesus, “Master, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons. But we told him to stop because he isn’t in our group.” Luke 9:49 I wonder what disturbed John about this man’s actions? I don’t believe it was because of the casting out of demons. Probably because he used the name of Jesus to do it. How did this person know how to cast out demons out of people? Who taught him to focus on the name of the Lord Jesus? In the next chapter, Jesus sent out 72 people to announce the coming of God’s kingdom. Filled with excitement they offered the following testimony upon their return. When the seventy-two disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him, “Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name!” Luke 10:17

Focus on the Lord Jesus Because of the Power in His Name

We too must focus on the name of our Lord Jesus. Why? Because of the high honor given to Him in the entire universe. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names. Philippians 2:9 Also, the Father receives glory when we bow to His name and declare Jesus Lord of all. That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11 Do you remember the Great Commission Jesus gave to the disciples and us at the end of Matthew 28? First, though,  He declared His authority to make such a commission. Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Matthew 28:18 Only through the name of Jesus can a person enter into heaven. Fortunately, the scripture makes it clear that salvation is available to everyone. Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:12-13 Everyone, however, who does not call upon the name of Jesus will not see heaven. They will instead spend eternity separated apart from God. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. John 3:18

Keep Your Life Focused

When a person gets saved, they must focus their life around the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  Colossians 3:17 Look at the things the Bible offers us when we keep our focus on the Lord. The list below contains just of few of those benefits. - Healing occurs in his name (Acts 3:6). - We publically baptize in his name (Matthew 28:19). - We are sanctified and justified in his name (1 Corinthians. 6:11). - The Father sends us the Holy Spirit in His name (John 14:26). - When 2 or 3 are gathered in His name, He is present (Matthew 18:20). - Using His name results in answered prayer and abundant joy (John 16:24). We must not misuse the name of Jesus or use His name in vain. Even though many freely use His name as a swear word, that freedom will one day cease. At just the right time Christ will be revealed from heaven by the blessed and only almighty God, the King of all kings and Lord of all lords. 1 Timothy 6:15

John’s Complaint to Jesus

That day John complained about someone ministering in the name of Jesus. Whether he was plagued with jealousy or ignorance, Jesus quickly changed his thinking. We too must be careful about judging others when they are ministering. Instead, let’s focus on the name of Jesus our Lord. And if you think there may be some issues or problems by the way a person is ministering. Take it to the Lord, just like John did. Lord, help me to avoid judgment towards others as they minister. I must focus on the Lord Jesus because of the power and benefits associated with His name. Check out these other posts related toway we can focus on the Lord. - Focus on Jesus and The Progress You've Made - Focus On Ways To Do Good And To Be Right - Focus Your Life On The Requirements Of God Read the full article

[middleagerunblog]

XXIV.

Week 3 Recap

Exercise:

Sun Dec 24 - walked the dog for 35 min, then attempted the Jens Bangsbo Yo-Yo Endurance test, got to 7 and stopped because I didn't want to ruin my Christmas Eve, need to be in better shape before I take a serious crack at that, and now have way more respect for the condition of my younger 2 kids that play competitive soccer and have to do this test from time to time

Mon Dec 25 - 9:48a, outdoors near home, 3.5 mi, 35:54, 10:13 pace

Tue Dec 26 - swapped schedules with Wed, 7:05a, outdoors near home, 3 mi, 30:52, 10:15 pace

Wed Dec 27 - swapped schedules with Tue, 7:17a, outdoors near home, intervals 6 x 400m with easy pace before, between, and after

Thu Dec 28 - rest

Fri Dec 29 - rest

Sat Dec 30 - 7:30a, Clermont Riverfront parkrun, 3.1 mi, 24:26, 7:53 pace

Diet:

I don't really want to dwell on this week's eating performance too much, a week that included Christmas Eve and Christmas and the hangovers thereafter.

I followed up Week 1's B/B+ performance with a C+/B- in Week 2 then a just below C- in Week 3. This puts me at a 2.40 EGPA for Q1, somewhere between a C+ and a B-. I could sit here and analyze my eating results by day of the week, point out the surprises, break down the opportunities for improvement, but I already said I'm not going to dwell on it, and I am working on plans to get better next week.

Alcohol - 9 drinks in Week 3, 9! From 6 in Week 1 to 8 in Week 2 to 9. 9!! This can't be helping with my eating, though I can't really blame it. At the holidays, meals that are too big and too many sweets leads to alcohol more than the other way around. Allowing some New Year's Eve beers, then probably some red wine in January before teetotaling February.

Weigh-in:

Didn't weigh-in this week.

Music:

↳ Favorite new album of 2023 was probably 10,000 gecs by 100 gecs, favorite song from the album is probably, "Hollywood Baby":

So go pitch your fit, no one gives a shit Better off if you just get over it

Saw them live and it was even better hearing it in person.

If I had to pick my favorite 5 new albums of 2023, I'd probably round out the list with Mid Air by Romy, No Joy by Spanish Love Songs, Gigi's Recovery by The Murder Capital, and Honey by Samia.

↳ Favorite old album new to me in 2023 was probably Brave Faces Everyone (2020) by Spanish Love Songs, favorite song from the album might be, "Kick":

Just keep your head down and you'll be okay You're living up to what's expected

It is difficult to articulate how much I love this album. I have listened to it so many times since I first discovered it in September, listening to many of the songs nearly every day since then. Though if I was a broke, young Millennial, the lyrics might hit too hard.

If I had to pick my favorite 5 old albums new to me in 2023, I'd probably round out the list with 1,000 gecs (2019) by 100 gecs, Oncle Jazz (2019) by Men I Trust, Opus (2016) by Eric Prydz, and Computer World (1981) by Kraftwerk.

↳ Old favorite album I listened to for the first time in a long time this year was Hysteria (1987) by Def Leppard--and by long time I mean probably elementary school--song I listened to the most was the title track:

Can't stop this feelin' Can't stop this fire

Listening to this album transports me to another tim when I was living a different life in a different universe, younger than any of my kids are now.

Rereading:

Only reread chapters 11-13 of Kafka on the Shore this week. In another flashback, a truer story of the Rice Bowl Hill incident is revealed via a letter the school teacher writes 28 years later. Still doesn't explain everything. Back in the present, Kafka cleans himself up Sakura's then leaves. Oshima agrees helps him out by driving him out to his family's mountain cabin so he can lay low for a few days.

I happened to rewatch Interstellar this week, is everything about predestination? Still haven't reread In the Penal Colony but plan to this week.

[millingroundireland]

From Glens Falls to Chester: The Mills family in the Adirondacks

This was originally the second chapter in my family history on the Mills family, but has been adapted and changed for this blog. All the sources are noted in a bibliographic essay at the end of this post, with maps and other photos throughout. Enjoy! This was originally posted on the WordPress version of this post. It has been split in a few posts so it is more readable on here.

By 1860, the Mills family was still in Bolton. John Mills was said to be 54 years old, still a miller, and his wife Margaret, age 36, was listed as a housekeeper. There were nine children in the household. Two of them, Joseph B., age 18, and Thomas, age 14, were farm laborers, presupposing that the Mills family owned a farm in Bolton. While Hetabella, age 18, did housework, the other children seemed to be too young to be listed with occupations. They included Edward (age 12), Dory A (age 10), Mary J (age 6), John C (age 4), Margaret E (age 3) and Benjamin W. (age 3/12). Bolton was similar to what it was in 1855, still undoubtedly having an agricultural and working-class character.

Four years later, in 1864, a woman named Margaret E. Mills declared loyalty to US, withdrawing loyalty to Great Britain and Ireland. This woman is likely Margaret Bibby. Unfortunately she did not state her age or place of birth.

The following year, 1865, the Mills family had moved back to Chester. John Mills was a 60-year-old farmer with his wife Margaret, 40 years old. This is the first census which states the number of John and Margaret’s children, which numbers 12! Within the household in the frame house, were 10 children, meaning that two of her children were not in the household. The names of those two children are not currently known. This census was the first to name Robert B. Mills, a person who was 2 ½ years old. Others in the household included Hattie B. Mills (age 21), Joseph B Mills (age 20), Thomas Mills (age 18), Edward Mills (age 18), Dora A. Mills (age 14), Mary J. Mills (age 9), John C. Mills (age 7), Margaret E Mills (age 5), and William Mills (age 4). With such a big family, it is likely that Hattie (same as Hetabella) took care of the family, especially Dora, Mary, John C., Margaret E., and William, who were younger than her. Joseph B. and Thomas likely worked on the farm with their father. This can only be inferred as the census does not state this directly.

Chester seemed to the same in some respects as it was when the Mills family lived there in the late 1830s and early 1840s. Nearby to the Mills family was the family of George Bibby. He was a 46-year-old farmer born in Ireland, with a family of six: his wife Ann born in the county, age 30, has five children, now married; Helen, age 9, Katherine, age 7, Samuel, age 6, William, age 4, and George, age 1 and 8/12. Also living in the household is his father, Samuel Bibby, age 67, born in Ireland, a laborer.

Another family nearby was Thomas Bibby’s family, living in the household of the Wallaces. Hewas age 28, born in Ireland, a farmer and married to someone named Mary A. Bibby (age 25, born in Warren). There is also a family of Thomas Mills (age 59, born in Ireland, farmer) nearby who has a wife named Margaret (age 53, born in Ireland, has 12 children), John (age 23), Edward L (age 21), Margaret (age 19), Phebe (age 15), Thomas J (age 11), and Ellen Gray (sister, age 60, born in Ireland). It is not known if any of the Mills children were living with these individuals at the time, but is likely that they were living somewhere in Chester.

By 1870, the Mills family was still living in Chester. John Mills was a 66-year-old farmer married to Margaret, age 48. In the household was their 23-year-old son, Joseph B., a carpenter, their 21-year-old son, Edward E, a farm laborer, and their 19-year-old daughter, Dora A, a teacher. At home were the rest of the children, Mary J (age 17), John C (age 14), Maggie (age 11), Willie or William (age 7), and Robert or RBM II (age 5). Both John and Margaret noted that they had parents of foreign birth. Also on the same page was Samuel Bibby (age 73 born in Ireland), Thomas Mills (age 64, farmer, born in Ireland), his wife Margaret (age 57, born in Ireland), Thomas Bibby (age 34, born in Ireland).

As the years passed by, John and Margaret were getting older. As her Find A Grave entry reports, since she has no visible gravestone photo, she died in 1874 in Minerva, Essex County, New York. This cannot be disproved or proven by any records on the subject.

The 1875 census shows a 70-year-old John Mills still living in Chester, as a farmer, with seven children in the household. These included his son Joseph B, a 29-year-old millwright, his daughter Dora, 24-years-old, his daughter Mary, 21-years-old, his son John C, 18-years-old, his daughter Maggy, 16-years-old, his son William, 14-year-old, and his daughter Hattie, 31-years-old. The latter was married to a 37-year-old carpenter named Hannibal Hammond and had a 12-year-old child named Ellen. It is important to note that Margaret is not in the household, so from this record, her death date can be ante 1875, or more accurately sometime between 1870 and 1875. While the census takers could have missed her, considering she was in every since census since 1850 seems to indicate that she was not alive.

The families of Isaac Mills and George Bibby were also living in the area. Isaac Mills’s family consists of: Isaac (born in Ireland, age 62, farmer), Ann (wife, age 46, born in Ireland), Joseph W (age 26, born in Warren, farmer?), Edward B? (farmer? Age 24, born in Warren), Mary (age 21, born in Warren), James O (age 20, born in Warren). George Bibby’s family consists of: George (age 53, farmer, born in Ireland), Ann (wife, age 40, born in Warren), Ellen (age 20, born in Warren), Caty (age 20, born in Warren), Samuel (age 16, born in Warren), William B (age 18, born in Warren), Albert (age 8, born in Warren), Humbert, (8 11/12 months, born in Warren), and Samuel (father, age 78, born in Ireland, likely a farmer of some type). These two families may have been connected together by marriage or even Isaac could have been John Mills’s brother. Sadly, those specifics are not completely known.

In 1876, John Mills died in Minerva, Essex County, New York, apparently while he continued his job as a miller. I have contacted appropriate historical societies in hopes of gathering more information. It is possible that Mills family members were living in that area of New York, or even Bibby family members since his wife Margaret was buried there. Perhaps she was going on a trip to bisit her cousins or even her parents. We don’t know exactly but can only make historical suppositions.

To this day, the Warren County Historian’s Office has family files on the Mills and Bibby families. 17 individuals with the Mills surname living in Ireland (mainly in Cork) and two with the Bibby surname were living near or around Kilkenny at the time (1876).

By 1876, with the death of John Mills, the twelve children he fathered with his wife Margaret, were on their own. Each of them would chart their own, independent path. As Charles Frederic Goss wrote many years later, RBM I, was only 10 (or 12) when his father died. This likely had a strong psychological effect on him, as it would on anyone, especially one who is that young. It meant that those such as RBM I, his brother William, and other younger siblings had to make their own way.

By 1876, Dora was only 25-years-old, if we use the age in the 1875 census. She likely did not even know of the Packard family in Massachusetts or of a man named Cyrus Winfield Packard, who was only 24 at the time, and would later be her husband. She had not, like Cyrus, run away from home at a young age. This is not because she worked more than Cyrus, who came from a family of hard-working farmers who had roots dating back to Samuel Packard, an immigrant from England in 1638, and had moved from eastern Massachusetts, mainly in Bridgewater, to Western Massachusetts, specifically in Cummington and Plainfield. Instead, she possibly found at least some value in her life as a teacher and likely helping around the home (and probably the farm). This would serve her well in years to come.

© 2018-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[nanaminokanojo]

BAD NEWS | CHAPTER INDEX/PROLOGUE (Part 1-64)

-just when you thought you were over your humongous crush on your older brother’s best friend, geto suguru, you couldn’t be more dead wrong, and maybe there isn’t really anything holding you back from acting on it now that you’re all grown up…except satoru doesn’t like suguru for you because he knows his kind all too well: a huge ass playboy who breaks hearts like he changes socks. but you think. MAYBE you’ll be the exception...maybe not.

CHARACTERS: drummer!geto suguru x (fem/afab) reader x guitarist!sukuna | gojo satoru | itadori yuuji | kugisaki nobara | fushiguro megumi | sukuna | fushiguro toji | nanami kento | choso | tsukumo yuuki | shoko ieiri | utahime iori

GENRE: full-length smau + prose | band au, tats, piercings, the whole shebang | college au | stupid pining | aged-up characters | friends to lovers (?) | this is gonna have smutty stuff because why not?

TW/CW: strong/mature language | adult content so mdni on some parts; just skip them. you’re not missing much | mentions of alcohol, drugs | mentions of cheating, promiscuity, mild dubcon (consent >>>), etc. | again, god-awful pet names i’d cringe at if a 3d person says it | toxic behavior | will add more if something arises

AKI’S NOTES: I would like to express my sincerest thanks to everyone who loved and supported “Thawing Ice Queen” as well as those who participated in the poll on which smau I’m going to write next. So, this is what won in said poll, and I hope it gets as much as love as TIQ if not more. Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated, and I actively respond to comments as well as Asks. Also, if you’re interested, I will include you in the tag list. Just message me through whatever avenue you’re most comfortable with. Happy reading!

ADDITIONAL NOTES: i will be using pics and other media which would fit situations and make the smau-ness of this piece a little more realistic and entertaining when i believe it’s appropriate/fitting to the plot (as i've done with TIQ). having said that, with regard to inclusivity, i just want to put it out there that they will not necessarily be aimed as the exact descriptions to fit a supposedly generic reader nor will they be representative of a specific race or color (even if you’re/the reader is gojo’s sister here). it’s all for the simple fact of media availability, for funsies and the fact that i don’t exclusively write in consideration of those aspects when using reader-insert characters unless i specify it. thank you for understanding.

MASTERLIST

CHAPTERS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45

46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60

61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | CHAPTER INDEX II

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI’S “JUJUTSU KAISEN”. [20240331]

PHOTOS/IMAGES/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS GO TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 67. brb x oc

a/n: overprotective parents can be a bit of a pain * laughs in knowing how the fuck that is *

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff then angst because WHY NOT

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 

@lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads 

-

One thing she hadn’t considered after agreeing to Marcus’ photo shoot was: how would her family react? Well it wasn’t like she agreed to do something that would be considered 18+ but still she’d be wearing less clothing than her family would be used to seeing. She took an Uber to her parents’ house, stopping outside the front door and inhaling deeply for courage.

She was almost thirty, she didn’t have to explain her reasoning to her parents all the time, she could make her own choices! And she’d need the money, which after calling Marcus one more time and him saying the amount she’d get she almost fainted. It’d be enough to finance a new car, and she’d have some left for when she and Rooster moved in together. 

Bea knocks on the door, waiting for her mother to show up and she does with a huge smile. Same actions as before: almost cry, then hug Beatrice, then kiss her cheeks over and over. The only difference was that she asked her about Bradley, which was more than a welcome surprise, “He’s at work mama.” she explains once she gets in and greets the pitties running her way, patting their backsides playfully, “I came to get some stuff from my old room…oh are you going somewhere?”

Her mother was dressed quite nicely for such an early morning, “I’m going to meet some of the teachers for a school meeting.” Claudia grabbed her red bag, messing around for the keys, “They want my opinion on the school.”

“But mama, you are already retired.”

“ I know, tesoro but, oh where’s the key!” Beatrice looks to the side where the said keys were on the coat hanger, lifting her arm and picking it up for her mother, holding it in front of her eyes, ��Oh, thank you tesoro– but yes I know I am retired, but it’s…almost like a council of sorts?”

Beatrice lets out an ‘ah’. Her mother worked as a teacher for a long time, she was very respected within her school and with her work colleagues, so Beatrice thought it made sense they’d want her input in some changes they might have to make in the school, “Oh,well, I don’t know if I’ll be here when you come back so if I don’t,” she engulfs her mom in a hug, one that Claudia reciprocates and kisses her daughter’s cheek, “Ti amo, mama.”

“Anch'io ti amo, tesoro.” she lets go of Beatrice to walk out of the door, “Your dad is in the garden! Let him know you are here, okay?” the brunette nods, watching the door close and her mother’s footsteps get fainter and fainter until she hears the car leaving their driveway. 

Beatrice stands in the hallway for a few seconds, the two dogs by her side before she turns around to walk out of the glass doors and into the backyard. Pomodoro and Marinara rush out to play around the grass, completely ignoring a kneeled Rafael that was currently tending some of the herbs in his garden. Bea smiles, pushing herself off the door to step closer, hearing the voice of Luciano Pavarotti in the little speaker her father kept with him whenever he was out in the backyard, singing along quietly to the Italian tenor.

“Papa?” she calls, making Rafael stop his humming and look over his shoulder with his eyes widening behind his thick glasses.

“Bambina!” he calls, pulling out the garden gloves and dropping them on the fresh earth, patting his thighs as he stands up, wrapping Beatrice in a loving hug, “Oh, my sweet tesoro, what are you doing here?”

“I came to get some stuff from my old room.” she smiles, fixing the crooked glasses on her father’s face, wiping a bit of dirt from his forehead. Rafael furrows his thick eyebrows,  propping his hands on his hips with confusion.

“Get? Why would you want to get anything else? It’s fine where it is.”

She held back the sigh of absolute no surprise when her father said that, of course, he'd want everything from her childhood to stay there. But she had a long time thinking about it, her main goal was getting her journal and some of the stuff she had inside that room, some old memories she kept in a shoebox, “It won’t be a lot papa, I promise.” Rafael remained frowning, but he let out a sigh and a tilt of his head to signal he agreed. Beatrice smiled, thanking him by hugging his middle and then rushing inside.

Luciano Pavarotti’s voice returned, a bit louder this time, as she made her way up the stairs and towards her room. Her mother must’ve cleaned all the rooms up there because every door wafted the scent of jasmine from inside, including her old room.  Since she knew why she was there, she zeroed her sights on the little nightstand where her journal was, repeating the motion of sitting on her bed to open the drawer and pull it out with some difficulty yet again.

Bea stares down at the mermaid, then slowly opens it up to a random page. She didn’t plan on reading it, but she couldn’t help herself.

Feb.12th, 2005

Today is my birthday! I’m very excited!I’ll get the Avril Lavigne cd I’ve been wanting for months! We are going to Mr.Scoops to celebrate it too, and we’re bringing nonna! She’s been feeling very under the weather lately so this might be a good thing for her!:) 

I invited some people from my class, like Megan,Susie and Rooney! They said they’ll come over, they are my best friends! I can’t wait to see what we can do! Mama said I can even take more money to the arcade! I’m so excited!

Beatrice’s smile faltered just a bit, remembering that the said best friends were also the ones who abandoned her when they started high school. It was very fun back then, they did enjoy themselves but…well, it wasn’t going to last and she wished she knew. Not to mention this was her nonna’s final month, but she didn’t know that then, and her nonna just wanted her to have a good time even with her sickness taking over her quickly.

Bea shook her head, then flipped a few more pages.

June 24th,2008

I don’t really know what I’m doing wrong. Am I just a freak? I don’t know. I guess maybe I’m just weird…I mean, I have tried making friends ever since I got into high school and people don’t really give me much attention. Maybe I’m doing something wrong…maybe I should just keep it to myself–

She immediately turned the page, not having within herself to continue reading, clearing her throat when the discomfort of tears made its way to her eyes. The one page she landed however, made her immediately halt any movement.

May 21st,2009

I read in a magazine that if you write what you want with all your might, you will get it. So…well, I guess I want a boyfriend? A guy who really likes me, who is really in love with me and who isn’t…I don’t know weirded out to be with me either. He can be tall! I don’t mind. I kinda like brown eyes too, maybe a light brown. He could have an accent, he doesn’t have to be from Cali.

He has to have a pretty smile though, maybe it could be one of the first things I’ll see in him! It could happen right? He has to like dogs, like, really like dogs…he can be fit too (idk if that would even work for me LOL) but yeah he can be fit…or not! I don’t know, the magazine said to believe it no matter what but it’s kinda hard to me to actually believe it right now. I don’t know when I’ll meet him, hopefully soon? The magazine said to write an initial if I want to, but I don’t want to appear too picky.

Well! I think this would be all? So,I’ll end it like this!

Beatrice stared at the page, rereading everything over and over until she hurt her eyes from moving them so much. Once she’s done, she closes the diary with her mouth still parted in shock…she completely forgot about this. She completely forgot about this. When she met Eric, she took it as a job well done! After all, he loved her,right? So half of it was true and she let it go…and yet, now, now she was noticing it was never meant to be for Eric. 

“Oh…my God.” she whispers, not knowing how to even react about that, how to even comprehend she basically described Bradley when she was sixteen years old? Beatrice sat on her old bed in complete shock, looking back at her closed journal, as if it somehow had a strange power she had no knowledge of. That was…really strange, but yet very reassuring? After all she did get the guy she wrote about, maybe not when she wanted but definitely when she was ready to.

Now she was definitely not throwing that journal away.

“Okay…okay…” she repeats, inhaling deeply with her hands folded on top of her thighs, trying to calm her wildly beating heart. She was a mix of surprised and overjoyed after reading that, biting her lower lip so hard she feared it’d break the skin, tapping the heels of her shoes on the floor as she looked at nothing. She really described Rooster, literally him when she had no idea he even existed. She picks the journal up after a while, holding it with both hands to look down at the dried glitter cover then hugs the journal to her chest with her eyebrows furrowed.

Beatrice clenches her eyes, feeling even more emotion bubble its way to the surface but she held it back in, she didn’t want her father to ask why her face was splotched because of tears.She eased out a shaky breath after hugging the journal tight, wiping her fingers under her eyes to wipe any tear that dared to roll out without her noticing, standing to her feet with the journal tucked under her arm.

She looks over to her single door closet, walking towards it with her eyebrows furrowed just a bit, then pulling the door open to check the insides. Some, if not most of her stuffed toys were inside in boxes of several sizes. Her old dollhouse was tucked in the corner, still inside the box it came in but definitely missing parts of the roof and her so-called ‘barbie backpack’ where she used to keep all her Barbie dolls was also next to it. 

Maybe she could donate those, she didn’t have many Barbie dolls and some of them were…passed on from her sisters, but she could figure out what to do with them right? Beatrice opened the backpack to see the contents, recoiling her head when she saw Ken’s body, more precisely his back and the outfit he was wearing. She had no memory of her Ken doll having a Hawaiian shirt and she was starting to wonder if there was something happening but this Ken doll had a shirt that looked way too much like the one she gave Bradley.

She drops the backpack to the floor, holding both of her hands up, “Woah, okay, hah,” she talks to herself, then looks around out of habit, “This is weird. This is very weird.” God damn it, what was going on? Was…was this some sort of sign from the universe telling her that she was meant to meet Bradley all along? That’s something her aunt Martha would say and…while it was a good loving thought, it freaked her out just a bit.

She was happy, of course, it was just strange to consider that. Beatrice looked back down at the backpack, then sighs, wondering if it was a good idea or not to mess with that…so much like the journal, she chose to not part ways with it, simply pushing it back inside her closet with her foot, pushing the door shut soon after.

That…was weird and she had no idea how to react to it exactly, so she just grabbed her journal, shoved under her arm and walked out. Her feet hitting the stairs called her father’s attention, the smell of fresh coffee signaling that he made some to himself, “Beatrice?” he calls, making his youngest daughter stop at the bottom and then turn towards the kitchen, where she could see her father’s thick head of hair appear by the threshold, “Come, let us have some coffee together.”

“Oh, ah,” she looked back at the door, then at her phone to check the time, it was still a few minutes past eleven, she knew Brad would message her in a little bit too because he’d be on lunch break, “Okay.” She places her journal inside her bag, the one hanging from the coat hanger and wanders inside the kitchen. 

Rafael smiles, grabbing a mug to pour her some coffee “Do you want an affogato?” she doesn’t have time to reply because her father is opening the freezer, pulling out a styrofoam box filled with vanilla gelato, plopping a scoop of it inside her mug, shoving a small spoon inside. Beatrice couldn’t help the smile, he’d always do that to her while she was younger. It was her ‘introduction’ to coffee, ‘There you go.”

“Thank you papa.” she says, even if the weather outside was a bit cold she couldn’t say no to an affogato, especially when it was her dad who made it. She notices his eyes are on hers as she moves the spoon around, waiting for her to take a bite - much like when she was younger - “Mmm,” she smiles chewing the coffee soaked gelato, “It’s really good, papa.”

Rafael smiles proudly, as if he made that gelato from scratch - which he didn’t -, nodding to her in thanks, “Did you get what you wanted?” Beatrice nods, watching her father lean his lower back against the kitchen counter as Beatrice remains standing, “Don’t you stand there, come on, sit. Sit!” He pulls out a chair from the kitchen table, pushing his daughter gently until she settles, “There, it’s like you are in a hurry.”

Beatrice just sips her affogato silently, but she does answer her father, “Yes, I just wanted to grab a book.” it was a lie, but not too bad of one. It was technically a book. If she said it was a journal her father would question what was in it that she wanted to remove from the house so badly? “And take it home.”

“Ah, yes, yes.” Rafael nods, sipping his own coffee quietly, then smacking his lips, “I was talking to a friend of mine, he can give you a nice car for the money you got from your old one.” 

“...oh…really?”

“Yes, it’s a van.” Oh God. “It’s very spacious, very good, you can put a lot inside.”

Beatrice laughs awkwardly, “Wow…a…van…” she repeats, shoving a spoonful of ice cream inside her mouth and immediately getting brain freeze. Of course he’d say that. “I..well, I’ll think about it papa. I can take Uber until then or Brad can drive me around if I need to.”

Rafael purses his lips in a frown, “Yes, yes but Bradley works. You can’t depend on him like that,” and what does she do? Clap her hands under the rain and hope for coins? 

“I don’t depend on him papa.” she says gently, “He wants to help me out until I get a new car, that’s all.” she twirls the spoon inside her mug, watching the vanilla gelato disappear inside the warm coffee, turning the dark brown into a foamy light beige. Rafael however, didn’t seem to believe it that much, the crinkle in between his brows - fondly called ‘the coin holder’ by his children - appeared as he listened to his daughter.

“Well,yes, of course. But he’s a busy man, he has to use his car.” Beatrice held back another sigh, leaning on a hand and glaring down at her affogato with a frown, “And a van, a van is good for you. Do you know why?”

She finally lets out the sigh, “No, papa, why is a van good for me?”

“Because it’s big, it’s spacious and it doesn’t call attention.”

She just stares at her father with a confused look, holding a hand up in questioning, “I…doesn’t call attention? What does that mean?”

“It’s also a 1975 van.” Oh God. “New cars are easy to spot, because of robbers.”

Beatrice couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “Papa.” she inhales to control her temper, “You have a porsche parked outside. It is a very nice car, being old doesn’t mean anything.” but her father just stared at her, just like Guillermo did the first time he went to the Hard Deck, “Look, papa, I appreciate it, but I will have to think about it, you know? Whose friend is it that’s offering me the car?”

“Oh, you know him, it’s Anthony. Anthony Schiazzo.”

“...Papa I don’t know who that is.”

“...Oh! Oh then it’s Sabrina who knows, he sold her the car she uses right now.”

Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows even more. She didn’t like how this conversation was going, “Papa, listen, I really appreciate it. I really do, but I want to…think about it some more, you know? I need to see what works best for me.” she finishes her affogato, the spoon tinkling inside the porcelain mug as she takes it to the sink, smiling at her father, “But I appreciate it, very much.” she leans up to kiss his cheek and hug his shoulders, “Thank you for the affogato, papa.”

Rafael follows his daughter towards the hallway, watching her pet the two pitbulls goodbye, “You are leaving already? You just got here.”

Beatrice looks over her shoulder, sliding the bag strap on, “Well, yes papa. I just came over to–” but her father looks so sad that Beatrice couldn’t even finish her sentence. It has been a while since she did visit, besides Christmas that is, and she was sure her parents missed her a lot. She chews her lower lip, clenching her bag strap, “Well,I mean…I…I guess I can stay a little bit more.” Rafael perks up with a smile, “Do you have anything planned?”

“I was going to the supermarket to buy ingredients for tonight’s dinner.” he smiles, “And buy another flea collar for Pomodoro,” the dog looks up guiltily, licking his maw apologetically towards the older man, “I’d like the company.”

“...well..okay.”

-

She follows her dad at the old supermarket, the one she came as a child many times before, following him as he picks up an eggplant from the pile,bringing it to his nose to smell it, ‘Here, tell me if it smells right.” he holds it back for her, Beatrice only leans her nose closer and sniffs it, giving him a nod, “Mm…hm! Yes, good.” he grabs a few more to place it into the colorful bag.

Beatrice could see eyes from the people she had known ever since she was a child, some of them friends from her parents who hadn’t seen her in months. “Ma che cazzo, five dollarsfor a potato?” She hears her father exclaim, putting down three potatoes and keeping only two, “I’ll plant some potatoes at home, this is a robbery.”

While she follows her father, she pulls out her phone to check if Bradley sent her a message, smiling when she sees his name pop up on her screen.

Roos (12:11)

Baby, I’m here :) Are you having lunch right now too?

Bea (12:11)

I’m actually out with my dad! Buying stuff for dinner :) How's your day going?

Roos (12:12)

Tell him hi from me and my day is going alright. Nothing new. Miss you :(

Bea (12:13)

I miss you too. We’ll see each other later tonight :3

Beatrice was so focused on answering Brad, she didn’t see her father stop and talk to someone, gesturing to Bea with one of his hands. She only looks up when she sees her father was no longer getting fresh produce but instead chatting to one of their neighbors. “Yes, my tesoro is here, Beatrice, Beatrice come on over.” she does, offering the older man and the other much younger one next to him a smile, “Do you remember Italo? And Fernando? You two used to play around didn’t you?”

Fernando offered her a small smile, he looked so much younger than she did, “Well,I think back then we did. It’s been a while.” she says with a polite smile, moving her eyes away when Fernando kept eye contact. 

“And where are you working now, bambina?” Italo asks, his thick mustache curling up with a fond smile. Rafael tensed up, she could see on her peripheral vision that her father seemed very…odd. 

Beatrice felt a pang of worry,but she did tell the older man where she worked, “Oh,I work at the Hard Deck, it’s a bar down in–” but the look on the men's faces, all of them, made Beatrice stop. 

“A bar?” Italo repeats, sending an apologetic look to Rafael, “Dio mio, Rafael.” not even Fernando was looking at her anymore, choosing to fix the time on his watch.

Her heart fell to her stomach, looking at her father in hopes he’d at least…at least say something, say that it wasn’t as bad and that while he didn’t agree with it, he could defend her, right? 

But his words just broke her heart, “Oh you know, it’s a quick job. It’s not serious. You know, she’s still young when it comes to jobs.”

Beatrice felt her heart cracking in pain and disappointment, her eyebrows furrowing with a mix of anger and sadness, she really hoped he could at least say it wasn’t what he expected but that he was happy she was happy there. Beatrice felt so humiliated and so alone, she just let out a quiet laugh “I…I need to go, papa.” she whispers, gently touching his arm, “I’ll see you l-later okay?” she doesn’t hug him goodbye, she doesn’t kiss him on the cheek as a farewell, she turns on her heel towards the exit after telling the other men goodbye too. She’s just clenching her eyes, trying not to cry, at least not with everyone looking at her.

But how is she leaving? She had no car. “Fuck.” she snarls under her breath, speeding her step when she hears her father calling her name and she quickly wipes her face off any tears that start to come down. She needed help,she couldn’t call Bradley, she could call Shells but it’d take too long for her to get there…god damn it.

“Beatrice! Beatrice,come back here right now.” she stops walking, crossing her arms below her bust to face her father. Rafael puts his hands on his hips,stepping closer, “What was that back there? Why did you leave? That was very rude–”

“Why did you say that?” she cuts him off, her voice shaky, “About my job? Why didn’t you defend me?” he blinks his eyes behind the lens of his glasses, licking his lips but remaining silent, “I-I thought you didn’t care about that anymore.”

“Tesoro, it isn’t like that. I just worry–”

“But,” she hold back a cry, making a sad noise in her throat, “I told you, everything that I do there. I told you about the people, about Penny and Shells, about Pete,Bradley and the Dagger squad…why–” she frowns, “...are you ashamed of me?” The silence that took over was so heavy it even deafened the surrounding sounds, Rafael’s eyes widened and he just moved his mouth without speaking, trying to find words.

Imagine when he finds out about your photoshoot. the goblin voice sneers gleefully in her mind Imagine how he’ll react.

“Beatrice, of course not. I am not ashamed of you, it’s just–I…” but the words didn’t come out and both father and daughter shared glances, one sadder than the other, with Beatrice biting her lip hard to hold back her crying. Her day started so good, so good and now this? Discovering that your father, and very possibly your mother as well, felt shame in the work you had? “I…it’s a different job…” her chin trembled with disappointment written all over her face, “You went to college for something else, which is…well, it’s not a normal field our family goes to either.” ah, now that too. So he not only hated her actual job, he finally voiced how he disapproved of her choice in career. 

“So you are ashamed of me.”

“I did not say that.” he says quickly but he doesn’t finish the sentence, which only makes her feel worse.

Beatrice whimpers, crossing her arms over her chest and creating an invisible shield between her and her father “...I’m going home.” she mutters, “...I’m just going to go home. I don’t–I can’t talk, I–” she sniffs, “I have to get ready for my job.” she spits out the word with so much pain in her voice it startled Rafael, who tries to touch her shoulder but Beatrice just steps away, “I hope you and mama enjoy your dinner.”

He tried to stop her again, but he left the groceries inside the supermarket and the cashier called his name from the door, asking if he was coming back or not. When Rafael looked back to where Beatrice once stood, there was no one else there. His daughter disappeared from view completely, leaving Rafael Schiavoni completely alone on the sidewalk.

Beatrice managed to get a taxi, she barely remembers entering, paying nor the drive over. She was so heartbroken. She got home dragging her feet, greeted Jolene with a gentle pat before she made her way up the stairs to her bed, where she sat, looking down at her phone to see that Bradley was still in lunch break. She shouldn’t…but she had to talk to someone.

So she tapped his contact, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Baby! What a surprise! You rarely call!”

“I…I know,I’m sorry.Is it a bad time?”

There’s silence on the other end, followed by Bradley excusing himself then walking away to a much quieter area “No, of course not. What’s happening? What’s wrong? You sound sad.”

That was enough for Beatrice to break and she hated it so much. Because she was letting out her feelings to Bradley who was still at work, who didn’t have to worry about her right now, nor her feelings when it comes to her parents. But once she begins, she couldn’t stop, she blurts out her words through hiccups, hot tears trailing down her face as she painfully retells Bradley of what happened minutes ago.

Her boyfriend listens, his voice quiet when he tells her to let all go and just vent it all to him. She didn’t deserve him at all. When she’s done, when she’s just sniffling, her eyes hurt from crying and her forehead feels like it’s being hammered constantly, Rooster’s voice returns, “Baby, it’s okay. Are you okay?”

A sniff, “I don’t know. I feel like shit.”

“I know,I know, gorgeous. Fuck I’m so sorry, angel. Are you going to be okay?”

“...I have to.” she whispers, supporting her pouding forehead on a hand, sniffling yet again, “I’ll be fine…”

“Okay…Are you sure?” she hums positively, “Are you really sure?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry for calling and letting it all out on you.”

“I’d rather you do that than keeping all the shit in.” he says and the sound of his voice makes her smile just a bit “I’ll see you later, okay?I might be a bit late but I’ll be there.”

“Okay. Shells is going to take me tonight, so…” she wipes a hand on her already dry eyes, “I-I’ll see you when you get to the bar.”

“Okay…” he didn’t want to hang up, she knew it, but he had to, “See you in a few hours. Message me if you need to,alright?” she hums positively again, “Okay,I love you pretty girl. I really do.”

“I love you too…and thank you.” she whispers, waiting for him to hang up so she drops the phone from her ear so it falls on the mattress. Beatrice just stays seated on the edge of the bed, fingers interlaced on top of her thighs as she stares at nothing, completely numb.

[grumpygreenwitch]

The Fairy and the Prince #3 + #4

Part 1 - Part 2 - Parts 3 & 4 - Part 5 - Part 6, 7 & 8 - Part 9 & 10 - Part 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 & 16 - Part 17, 18, & 19 - Part 20, 21 & 22 - Part 23, 24, 25 & 26 - Part 27, 28, 29 & 30 - Part 31, 32, 33 & 34 - Part 35, 36 & 37 - Part 38, 39, 40 & 41 - Part 42 & 43 - Part 44 & 45 - Part 46 & 47 - Part 48, 49, 50 & 51 - Part, 52, 53 & 54 - Part 55 & 56 - Part 57, 58, 59 & 60 - Part 61, 62, 63, 64 & 65 - Part 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71 & 72

These are short chapters, so you get two at a pop. As always, my Ko-fi’s at the bottom. And remember, I proofread these but never actually did the fine-tune editing that usually goes into my larger manuscripts. Also, if anyone knows a literary agent, please send them my way. I’m quite literally terrified of reaching out to one. I can’t even begin to explain how bad I am with people. I’m good with plants! People? Mmmno.

He came back, of course, he had to. Hunger brought him back.

"Are they going to lock you up again?"

"Probably," Adam admitted as they meandered over the narrow edge of a high partition, soaring high above a private courtyard on one side and a small kitchen's garden on the other. "It won't be forever," he told Linden when his friend's face fell. "I'll find some way to get out, I promise."

"What do they even want from you?" Linden demanded. "If you're not going to be king, why can't they let you be?"

Adam found that an excellent question and, when he was dragged once again before Master Leminy, after the sour-faced, prune-mouthed man was done with his shouting and berating, he asked it. The Master of Scions swelled up like an angry toad. Adam would know, he'd recently made the acquaintance of several of the creatures.

The truth of the matter was, Everidge Leminy had tried to get Adam sent home. Repeatedly. But he couldn't very well explain to the Dowager why he wanted the boy gone without admitting that he was balking the entirety of the palace staff and, mostly importantly, master Leminy himself. Admitting to such a failure might well cost the Master of Scions his job, and the rank and power that came with it. The first time he had excused it as the teacher's failing. There wouldn't always be someone else to blame, and the Dowager would not eschew even one boy. There was talk of a prophecy, of a fairy curse that she was trying to escape, ergo there being no children of her own. But master Leminy was too busy a man to believe in fairies.

He did believe, however, that the shameless, reckless brat before him would keep on vanishing. No one could watch a child every moment of the day; no one should have to, which made it all the more infuriating, because Adam was forcing him to do exactly that, and falling behind in his studies to boot. The latter wasn't terrible, it could be readily excused by his youth, by having to compete with peers who in some cases more than doubled him in age. But eventually someone would make a comment to the Dowager, and she would start asking questions of Master Leminy.

Faced with uncomfortable risks and unwanted variables, Leminy shifted tacks. He clapped his hands and pressed his laced fingers to his mouth. "Prince Adam. It occurs to me that your life in the palace must be unbearably boring."

Adam, who knew grown-ups never speak to a child with that sort of make-believe respect unless they want to set a trap, was instantly on his guard. "It's alright," he admitted neutrally, wary.

"You've no peers," Leminy replied. "No one to do childish things with. I believe Prince Rickard is... thirteen?"

"He's twelve," Adam replied. And a bully, he didn't add, but gosh he was thinking it very loudly.

"Just so." The Master of Scions kept from gritting his teeth at being corrected, but it was a close thing. "I will make you a deal. I will find friends for you. I will set aside time from your schedule so you can do," he flapped a hand, "whatever it is children do. But in exchange you must attend your lessons without fail."

Adam nearly cried out agreement in delight. But as his many escapes made clear, he was a clever young boy. "How much time?"

"Three hours every day before supper." Which were hours Adam would have had free anyway, until new teachers could be found from the monastery; the Dowager's letters had not impressed them. "But you will have to make them up; no more free mornings during the end of the week."

Adam chewed on his lip restlessly, his hands in his pockets. In one of them Linden had thrust an empty snail shell, and he ran his fingers restlessly over the rim. Was it a good bargain? It sounded like one to him, but the source made him nervous. And would the Master of Scions stick to it? He had no reason to. He could throw Adam up in a high tower cell and leave him there forever, until his hair grew as long as his nails and he forgot what the green world looked and felt like. "I don't need paid-for friends," he murmured.

"Of course you do! Every young boy needs friends!"

Adam saw the trap then. They wouldn't be friends; they would be Lemony-Leminy's spies. That made much, much more sense. And so, as graciously as he knew a prince should, he agreed. They both left the meeting quite satisfied, even if Adam was being marched off to another punishment detail in the kitchens, and Leminy was off to wrangle an impossible little urchin's schedule into something suitable for a would-be king.

***

Summer quickened into fall, and then into winter. Linden warned Adam that they wouldn't be able to come once the snow fell, and the young prince spent the time after their last parting forlorn behind the glass-paned windows of the palace. For lack of anything better to do he applied himself to his lessons, half forgotten during the golden warmth of better days. He found in himself a surprising aptitude for things he'd learned with half an ear and a tenth of the interest they should have been originally given. His teachers didn't question their good fortune; they merely rushed to catch him up while they had his attention.

The 'friends' Lemony-Leminy had promised him had come the day directly after his talk with the Master of Scions, and they were no better or worse than Adam had expected. Older, of course, he'd expected no different. Unfortunately for master Leminy, when you might grow up to be a king, the politics of getting people to do what you want them to do take up a good part of your education. Adam made it clear to the three boys that if they left him alone and asked no questions he would return the courtesy, effectively getting them paid for doing whatever they wanted with their afternoons. All they had to do was meet with Adam briefly after his lessons so they could agree on a likely tale to tell anyone who asked, and not get caught the rest of the time.

Two of the boys had been thrilled with this agreement. The third tried to stick to his purpose, until he discovered that it entailed trying to follow the young prince as he climbed up walls and raced along roofs like a squirrel. After falling one time too many, he wisely gave up before he hurt himself irredeemably, and contented himself with scowling at the young prince every time Adam took off through paths best suited to cats and thieves.

Winter left him stuck with the boys, and while they weren't bad sorts, Adam couldn't forget that they weren't his friends. They were paid to stick around, paid to tell master Leminy what he did with his time, paid to try and keep him busy. He'd offered for them to accompany him in his lessons, but while all three had agreed, it quickly became obvious the only one with a real interest was Beliwick. To the other two boys it was just time spent away from unwanted chores with a valid excuse.

"Is she pretty?" one of the boys asked one afternoon, his voice just this side of a taunt.

Adam jerked back to reality. He'd been staring out the window at the snow-choked grounds of the palace, willing spring to arrive faster, hoping for just one sprig of green, one touch of color, to let him know his best friend would come back soon. "Who?" he asked in confusion.

The two boys, Dane and Oliver, where sprawled by the hearth playing dice. Beli, who'd been painstakingly reading one of Adam's math primers, a gift of the prince to him, glanced cautiously at them and then ducked his head low.

It was warning enough for Adam, who dragged himself with an effort to the present.

Oliver, the oldest of the boys, snorted. "Whatever girl you're pining after."

"Ugh," Adam made a face to go with the groan. "You're getting too old to be my friend if you think I'm interested in a girl, Oliver."

The smirk went right out of their faces, and Adam saw Beli hide a grin.

"I'm waiting for spring. I'm tired of being inside forever and forever," he explained.

Dane flopped on the warm slate before the hearth. "The whole world is," he agreed easily enough. Dane was not a bad sort; he was simply lazy. He would always agree with whatever was easiest. "Winter's dragged on this year."

"Well, it needs to drag away faster," Adam groused.

Winter, of course, would be rushed away by no one, but it eventually did give way to spring. By then, much to his teachers' astonishment, Adam had caught up with and surpassed a few of his peers in his academic studies. It didn't occur to most of them that it was because he had nothing to do but read.

Rain fell on the day of his birthday, rather than snow, and he took comfort from it. He was invited to tea with the Queen Dowager, who asked the questions expected of her station and his studies, and seemed distractedly pleased over a boy from whom she expected very little, if anything at all. Just before supper he was dragged before the Master of Scions, along with prince Rickard and four more miscreants, one of them Dane. Everyone ended with punishment duties to go along with their black eyes and bloody lips, but since it was the first time Adam had landed a punch on the older boy, he counted it an improvement and the best birthday gift so far.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Correspondence, Chapter 03

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary:  An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Mentions of alcohol, a very long conversation happens where Hotch is a little buzzed. Big, BIG focus on their age difference, and unintentional misinformation. Spencer has no idea Hotch thinks he’s older, or at least not OLD older, and gets a little panicky/clams up -- and yes I realize Hotch could just background check him and find it out but he respects the man enough to not do that. The chapter is linear, it just encompasses a lot of time passing so hopefully that’s not too confusing. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 5025

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link

--

Chapter 03

--

Early September 2010

--

And so, it begins.

The dynamic shift, the vast change in how Hotch and Dr. Reid had been corresponding for the past few months. Evolving from something so professional and academic to something… looser. More freeing. More room for error, of course, but the risk turns out to be more than worth it for what they gain.

The texts are sporadic, at first. Short interactions, here and there, all stemming from that first, longer conversation about Jack. Hotch follows up the very next day, after he gets to talk to his son in the morning over pancakes. Jessica hovering nearby the whole time. She had apologized for her harsh words, and commended him after the fact how he’d approached Jack on the subject and led the little boy into a conversation rather than a lecture like his teachers had done. Because, as Spencer had mentioned -- there was no need for one. Jack already had the situation handled.

[]6/4, 12:39[] You were right. 

[]6/4, 12:39[] He invited the kid that was bullying him over for a playdate. Trying to win him over by killing him with kindness.

[]6/4, 12:43[] My kind of kid. 

[]6/4, 12:44[] You’ve taught him well, Hotch.

And that was it. That was all it took to kick off what turns into a frequent occurrence. Slowly, as time passes, their quick texts turn to conversations that naturally revert to work. It’s where they spend most of their time, after all, and what they had bonded over in the first place. But unlike in their emails, it isn’t just about the cases or profiles or statistics required to crack them. It’s much more opinionated than that, erratic in it’s content and frequency. Commentary on Hotch’s team, ideas on the cases they work, case studies and research projects and sometimes even just office gossip that somehow always makes its way to Hotch’s attention despite everyone trying to keep it from doing so.

Or just Dr. Reid observing their antics. This is the beginning of the tonal shift, and Hotch can’t help but think… it just might be a welcome one.

[]6/12, 10:03[] Your tech analyst always sends me rainbow font emails.

[]6/12, 10:07[] Yes, she’s doing that with everyone on the team. It’s Pride month and she’s being supportive.

[]6/12, 10:11[] She considers me a part of the team? How sweet of her.

[]6/12, 10:12[] You are, and as far as the bureau goes you might as well be.

[]6/12, 10:13[] I doubt I could sneak you into payroll, though.

[]6/12, 10:21[] I bet Ms. Garcia could.

[]6/12, 10:28[] Don’t. Say. Anything.

[]6/12, 10:29[] But yes, she could. 

It turns into a small reprieve, for Hotch, in the constant deluge of bureaucracy and violence that fills his work day. The single moment he allows a sliver of himself to appear through the cracks of his armor he has to wear to guard himself from it all. To be the stoic leader the team needs, the unmovable tree in the storm.

Only in his quick, typed under the table conversations he has with Spencer does he allow himself the slips of humor. Barely there traces of a smile. Finding the smallest spots of light in his dark days, in his work that can surround and consume to the point of suffocation. Hotch thrives in it, he always has -- while others have drowned. But he doesn’t mind finding this small self-indulgence. Making the decision for himself that he can joke and poke fun at his work and not feel guilty about it. That, for once, he can allow himself this.

Until one day, Spencer returns the favor -- and starts talking about his own work.

[]7/21, 16:17[] If I leave all of my Ph.D. applicants in a ditch in the desert, is that still murder?

[]7/21, 16:30[] Technically or hypothetically?

[]7/21, 16:34[] Different question, would you be my legal council if I snap and it happens anyway?

[]7/21, 16:37[] Of course.

[]7/21, 16:38[] But as your attorney, I have to advise you that we never had this conversation, and murder is wrong.

[]7/21, 16:40[] Hypothetically. 

Spencer takes a little longer to open up, but when he does it is through this window into an academic world Hotch had never planned or thought he would ever be privy to. He begins to reveal pieces of it, bit by bit, until Hotch starts to form a picture in his mind of what shape this professor’s life really takes. Making deductions based on his speech patterns, what goes on throughout his day, his word choices, and profiling the man through text message without even meaning to. 

He tries to put a stop to it as soon as he realizes this. Dr. Reid isn’t just a consultant anymore, he is his friend -- and Hotch will always do his utmost to not profile his friends. But it’s a little too late for some aspects that can’t help but stand out as time goes on. Such as the inkling that the other man probably isn’t senile with a cane and a stooped back, like Hotch had first thought. Certain parts of his day allude to someone who is a bit fresher to the academic scene -- instead of spending decades on a college campus. 

But Hotch sets that aside, to be scrutinized at a later date, and instead turns his focus into enjoying what Spencer has to offer him. As his friend. The stories he shares freely, now that they’ve spent all this time breaking down the barriers. He regales Hotch with his own daily problems, grievances, as well as the little bright spots that he just wants to share with Hotch so that it can lighten up his own days. Which were much more bleak, and crowded with danger and horrid things. 

Hotch lives for those messages.

[]7/28, 20:42[] So I have a godson.

[]7/28, 20:44[] He’s four, and he just came to visit last week with his mother. Have you and Jack ever done science experiments at home? 

[]7/28, 20:46[] Because I have some that are definite crowd pleasers. Do them right, you can call them ‘physics magic’. I can send you the instructions, it’s well worth it.

[]7/28, 20:47[] I’m not sure how helpful I would be in a scientific area, but I’m always willing to try.

[]7/28, 20:49[] I’d require video evidence of it, then. 

[]7/28, 20:50[] But they are so fun, I’d forgotten how much.

[]7/28, 20:51[] No children of your own?

[]7/28, 20:54[] Never found the right person, but I always spent so much time on my degrees that I hadn’t really thought about being a parent. 

[]7/28, 20:55[] My Godson really brought it to light, though. I love having him here.

[]7/28, 20:56[] I bet he loves when you come around, or when they get to visit you, too.

[]7/28, 20:59[] I work in a science lab, with lasers and telescopes bigger than my first apartment. My approval rating is pretty high when it comes to my godson. 

Although Hotch finds that he doesn’t always start these interactions, the ones that lead to topics outside of work, he also isn’t against them in the slightest. They begin to start messaging at all hours, because of this; first thing in the morning, during their lunch break, whenever something pops up -- what used to be jokes that would just be kept to themselves, turn to conversation starters. And that development shifts the dynamic even more.

[]8/11, 10:31[] Coffee shops always make me feel old, and like I’m a grad student all over again.

[]8/11, 10:38[] You don’t have a T.A. to run and get you coffee?

[]8/11, 10:41[] Of course you would send out for coffee.

[]8/11, 10:42[] Well my order is two steps, not sixteen.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Tyrant.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Pretentious.

They start to tease, banter, and poke fun at each other. Comradery, friendship, and the more it goes on the more it seems to spiral towards something else. Something new.

But it’s these small moments, messages, conversations that can last a minute or an hour, that make Hotch’s chest feel so much lighter as the weeks go by. Hints of a smile easing onto his face, smoothing out and softening the edges in a way they haven’t in a long time. Garnering some attention from the rest of the team, or whoever is in the vicinity that felt brave enough to mention it.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“No one,” Hotch would answer, schooling himself and pocketing his phone. “Just a consultant on a case.”

-

This is how it goes… for months. 

They never speak on the phone. Never even hint at video calls. Never send pictures. (Although Spencer does make a mention once or twice about that promised video when Hotch finally gets around to attempting the ‘physics magic’ experiment he’d emailed him. Hotch secretly hopes that maybe, one day, Spencer will just get to show them in person. Instead of Hotch having to record it for anyone to witness.)

But they talk like clockwork. Play chess on the regular, allowing them to talk more fluently with a laptop to aid the flow of conversation. It starts with once a week, then twice a week, standing dates after hours that meld so seamlessly with their messages every workday. They keep it to the weekdays, at first, since Hotch is busy with Jack on the weekends. But that doesn’t last long. Suddenly, without warning -- it becomes every night as well. That shift is such an organic, natural progression, that it slips in without either of them making comment on it. A silent agreement, because mentioning it would mean admitting why they were pushing this in such a new direction. 

They just… missed talking to each other. Two days was too long. 

Now, it’s every day.

They text for hours; check in on each other at random throughout the day even when Hotch is on cases or Spencer is busy with his duties as the leading doctoral expert of Caltech. Times when they should be swamped, unavailable to anything other than their primary focus and work load, still littered with short messages. Before and after each flight, when Hotch gets back to his hotel at night, when Spencer has to lecture out of town and they just so happen to be passing each other during travel -- mere states away. So close, yet so far. It’s all the time, it’s constant, and it’s wonderful.

Spencer still helps with cases. Often, even more often than he ever helped the L.A. field office. But it’s not always through email, anymore. Sometimes it’s just easier for Hotch to shoot him a quick text. A detailed message in the middle of their everyday banter and dribble but no less out of place, knowing the good Doctor will answer him quickly. Time is of the essence when they are on a case, but they are always on retainer for each other. Waiting in the wings, ready to jump in with quick, snappy wit and bitten-back smiles, and Hotch feels so good. So light. Better than he has in years. 

Happy. 

Hotch is happy, finding a friend in Dr. Spencer Reid, even if sometimes that friendship seems to transcend layers he didn’t know were there. Developing into something else, something he hadn’t touched in a long, long time. 

Months pass. Months. Like a blur. Like they’ve only just started this thing that’s anticipatory and comfortable and flexible in its medium and that is so easy -- everything Hotch needs in his life -- that he can barely imagine what his days and nights were like before this. Before Spencer. 

But it’s months into this correspondence, this charged and bright thing, that he’s home late one night with a Scotch in one hand and a losing game of online chess long forgotten on his laptop screen. Lost in messaging Spencer, back to his phone instead of the chat feature of the chess game. Because texting is their comfort zone, now. He never thought it would be, had seen teenagers and adults attached to their phones like a lifeline and used to scoff about it, but he finally has begun to understand. 

Because here he is -- not even looking up when he takes a drink -- lost in his conversation with Spencer. Making each other laugh, in a way he hasn’t in so long. Loud and high and afraid he might wake Jack down the hall so he stifles it with another sip of his Scotch.

[]9/8, 21:12[] If Jack wakes up, you know that’s it for us. He’ll never go back to sleep.

[]9/8, 21:13[] Then stop laughing so loud. I honestly can’t imagine you laughing enough to wake him.

[]9/8, 21:14[] Usually I don’t. I never laugh like this, but I used to.

[]9/8, 21:16[] Mr. FBI isn’t allowed to laugh, I thought. Didn’t they beat that out of you at the academy?

[]9/8, 21:19[] I was able to retain a smidgen of humor, it’s well hidden. You just seem to bring it out more than others.

[]9/8, 21:20[] I’m flattered. 

[]9/8, 21:20[] You should be. 

[]9/8, 21:21[] If my team saw me crack a smile I’d probably be forced to get a CAT scan.

[]9/8, 21:23[] Do you need one? I have an M.A. in Cognitive Sciences, I’ll be your second opinion.

[]9/8, 21:24[] Probably, but I’ll live.

[]9/8, 21:25[] Very stiff upper lip of you. They teach you that at the academy, too?

[]9/8, 21:26[] No, that would be Scotland Yard. I liaised there for a while.

[]9/8, 21:28[] Wow, you get around. Have you been anywhere else on your global exploration?

[]9/8, 21:31[] Hardly that, I just go where the bureau tells me. I’ve already been bounced all over the country before landing at the BAU. All you can do is keep the ‘stiff upper lip’ and adapt.

[]9/8, 21:31[] “Keep Calm & Carry On”?

[]9/8, 21:33[] Garcia gave me that on a mug last Christmas. I still don’t know what it’s from.

[]9/8, 21:34[] Your age is showing. Get with the times, old man.

[]9/8, 21:35[] You’re one to talk.

[]9/8, 21:35[] What?

Hotch bites back a smile, thinking about how for months he had been so sure Spencer was this elderly professor in his 60’s or 70’s that just happened to find their conversations interesting. That was… very apparently wrong, Hotch can see that now, but he hadn’t had any evidence to the contrary for the entire time they corresponded those first few months. 

He could have done a background check on the professor at any time, is sure Garcia already has one saved in a file ready to send him at his first request, but it’s more fun this way. The not knowing, the learning about each other piece by careful piece. Even the smallest bits of information, such as age. 

He bet Spencer would get a kick out of his first impression of the man, though.

[]9/8, 21:37[] Oh come on, you know.

[]9/8, 21:39[] No, I actually don’t. Congratulations, you’ve stumped the super genius.

[]9/8, 21:39[] But really, what do you mean?

[]9/8, 21:42[] I always just assumed you are at least ten years my senior, maybe even fifteen. How are you more with the times than I am?

[]9/8, 21:43[] I work at a University. I am surrounded by hormones and the dribble of youth.

There’s a slightly lengthy pause after that exchange, enough Hotch starts to pay closer attention through the buzz of liquor settled over his skin pleasantly.

[]9/8, 21:49[] How old do you think I am?

[]9/8, 21:50[] I don’t know, is it rude if I answer?

Hotch is not laughing to himself, he promises. 

[]9/8, 21:52[] Why do you think I’m older?

[]9/8, 21:53[] This feels like a trap.

[]9/8, 21:53[] It’s not.

[]9/8, 21:56[] Well, honestly just from your academic achievements. Not everyone has that kind of time. And all your departments you run, you have to have a pretty level head and knack for maturity to keep that all in order. Especially doctorate students. 

[]9/8, 21:58[] Thank you, I think.

[]9/8, 22:00[] I bet you’re the coolest old man on campus, though, don’t get me wrong.

Hotch does outright laugh after he sends that, manages to keep it a little bit quieter, and commends himself on having the upperhand in the conversation for once as he stares at his phone for a few minutes, awaiting an answer. 

If he had to guess, Hotch supposes he’s held on to that stubborn image of Spencer being a stooped old professor out of habit. But the more the two have talked, after he'd gotten to know the man and his written verbal expressions and just the way his life runs day to day, it’s pretty easy to see that that is not correct. Spencer could be someone around Dave or Jason’s age, but more likely even younger than that -- closer to his own. 

And that… is an intriguing thought that sparks something in his chest. He smothers it with another sip of Scotch and realizes that it has been a solid five minutes of silence. With Spencer not even typing out a response.

[]9/8, 22:06[] Was it something I said?

[]9/8, 22:07[] No, I’m just… contemplating my answer.

[]9/8, 22:07[] Answer to what?

Hotch hasn’t drank that much, but he doesn’t believe he asked a question at all. He scrolls back through their conversation and doesn’t see one. Spencer has asked a good handful, though, all about Hotch’s perception of his age. 

Interesting.

[]9/8, 22:09[] Respond, not answer.

[]9/8, 22:10[] I’m all turned around now.

[]9/8, 22:12[] Flustered in your old age? Now I’m flattered. 

This is almost like flirting. Skirts the edges of it, and Hotch feels more emboldened to try the more Spencer tap-dances around what is obviously Hotch’s incorrect assumption of his age. He had had no idea Hotch thought he was older, that is apparent, and it’s throwing the other man for a loop for some reason Hotch can’t ascertain. 

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not old.

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not even older than you.

[]9/8, 22:16[] And how do you know that?

[]9/8, 22:17[] Just trust me on this.

[]9/8, 22:17[] Well, how old are you?

Another long, lengthy pause that Hotch waits for with baited breath. He knows that Spencer is there, that he’s staring at his phone and trying to decide the best way to answer without really answering anything. It’s only a matter of minutes, but that is a long time for them. When they are deep in a conversation like this.

Hotch isn’t laughing to himself anymore, but he’s more pleasantly confused than worried. He really has no idea what is making Spencer so hesitant.

[]9/8, 22:22[] Spencer?

[]9/8, 22:25[] I’m not going to tell you.

[]9/8, 22:26[] What, you want me to guess?

[]9/8, 22:28[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/8, 22:29[] That sounds like a challenge. How many guesses do I have?

[]9/8, 22:31[] None. Listen, I don’t want you to know. I shouldn’t have said anything.

[]9/8, 22:33[] I’m afraid it’s going to change your perception of me, and we’ll stop talking like this.

[]9/8, 22:34[] Just keep imagining me with wrinkles and a cane, I’m okay with that.

That drops the small smile right off his face.

Hotch is… surprised by this turn of events. What could be so shocking about this that Spencer thinks they would stop talking to each other? They’re corresponding every night. How could he possibly stop on a dime like that?

It doesn’t make any sense. And that’s not the alcohol talking.

[]9/8, 22:37[] I honestly don’t see how that would be possible.

[]9/8, 22:39[] I’m not going to stop talking to you just because you aren’t the senior professor I imagined running Caltech with an Iron Fist.

[]9/8, 22:40[] Now you’re projecting. 

[]9/8, 22:40[] You saying I’m too strict?

[]9/8, 22:41[] Tyrant, I think was the term I chose. 

[]9/8, 22:42[] Pretentious.

[]9/8, 22:44[] But Spencer, unless you are somehow underage with five Ph.D.’s, there’s no reason for us to stop talking. 

[]9/8, 22:47[] You would not believe how many people treat me like I'm underage, to this day. So that doesn’t inspire confidence.

Hotch pauses with his glass halfway back to his lips, only a few sips left in the glass. Staring at his phone and struggling to make sense of what Spencer is saying. Hotch had been trying to joke and tease with him, but now the word ‘underage’ feels like a glaring beacon of a word on his screen. 

He’s very suddenly more than a little nervous, even through the haze of alcohol. He is 45 years old, no matter what he keeps telling Spencer -- there is a limit to this being appropriate or not. What that limit is, he’d have to consider when he’s more sober, and it makes him feel like he should be reigning in the flirtatious notes that keep worming their way into the conversation. 

But it’s not actually possible for him to be that young, and everything he’s learned about the man indicates he’s closer to his own age. Was he in his 30’s? Even that felt too young for what Hotch had (subconsciously) profiled -- no, it has to be something else. 

No matter what, he didn’t want to keep getting Spencer worked up like this about it. His age hadn’t bothered Hotch before that night, so maybe if he drops it they can revert back to how they’d been spending their late evening hours before this turn in the conversation. 

[]9/8, 22:50[] But I’m NOT underage.

[]9/8, 22:51[] If that needed to be said.

[]9/8, 22:53[] Can you buy alcohol by yourself?

[]9/8, 22:54[] Yes.

[]9/8, 22:54[] See this is what I was afraid of.

[]9/8, 22:55[] Relax, I was trying to tease you. 

[]9/8, 22:57[] You don’t have to tell me, Spencer. I’ll just keep picturing Sean Connery, or John Steinbeck in the later years.

[]9/8, 22:59[] I see you have a type. 

[]9/8, 23:00[] Well, who do you picture when you think of me?

[]9/8, 23:01[] Hugo Weaving, Matrix era. Or Richard Feynman.

[]9/8, 23:02[] Well now I feel typecasted. Who’s Feynman?

[]9/8, 23:02[] An American Theoretical Physicist from the 40’s-60’s.

[]9/8, 23:03[] Ouch. How old do you think *I* am?

[]9/8, 23:04[] I’m afraid to answer that.

[]9/8, 23:04[] O.u.c.h.

[]9/8, 23:06[] You’ve been borderline flirting with me, and you just said you thought I was in my 60’s! What was I supposed to think?

[]9/8, 23:07[] If you’re looking in that age bracket, I’m sure I can get you the Biology Department Head’s number.

[]9/8, 23:07[] He’s 72 with rheumatoid arthritis. 

[]9/8, 23:08[] You are hysterical. So funny.

Hotch is smiling wide down at his phone again, feeling lighter and glad he got them back on track. 

But… 

He can’t help but think back to what he just tried to drop entirely. Blame the Scotch, or whatever drive to know that makes him dig down and root out information in cold cases in his spare time, Hotch doesn’t think he can let it go. Not when it was something Spencer hadn’t meant to be a secret in the first place. Not when, knowing that it has created misinformation between them unintentionally, results in Spencer shying away and hesitant to tell Hotch anything more about himself. 

Not when he’d said ‘flirting’, because that had been what Hotch was doing, and he can’t even describe how disappointing it would be to quit while he was ahead. When the build up has been so gradual and easy and everything he’d been looking for and could never seem to find.

Now, this slight disruption is sticking in his mind, sharp like a thorn in his side. Always there, making itself known, and he wonders if he is lucid enough to try and draw the information out of Spencer via interview tactics -- or if the brilliant man would see right through any of his attempts.

Probably. Who was he kidding? Spencer had more degrees and college hours under his belt than Hotch could manage in a lifetime. Best to do this the old fashioned way, then.

[]9/8, 23:10[] 38.

[]9/8, 23:11[] Oh. Really? That’s kind of young to be Unit Chief, congratulations.

[]9/8, 23:11[] No, not me. You. I’m guessing 38.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Oh.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Incorrect.

[]9/8, 23:13[] I don’t even get a hint?

[]9/8, 23:13[] Nope.

[]9/8, 23:15[] We’re not playing a game. I’m not telling you.

[]9/8, 23:15[] So you won’t guess my age, either?

[]9/18, 23:17[] Chicken.

[]9/8, 23:17[] 45.

Hotch near throws his phone across the room. Almost makes a quip about how reading his file is cheating -- but he knows Spencer just made a stupidly accurate ‘educated guess’ because he knows fucking everything. 

They really should just put him on the payroll. Hotch is being selfish keeping the man all to himself.

But God, is he enjoying it, too.

[]9/8, 23:19[] There’s no way you profiled that with that kind of accuracy. 

[]9/8, 23:20[] How do you do that?

[]9/8, 23:21[] Black magic.

[]9/8, 23:22[] I’ll get it out of you one day, I swear.

[]9/8, 23:23[] And as a man of your word, I believe that you truly believe that.

[]9/8, 23:23[] Full of jokes tonight, aren’t you?

[]9/8, 23:25[] I live to amuse. 

[]9/8, 23:25[] And make you smile.

[]9/8, 23:27[] You are one of the few that do.

With a careful pause, nothing left in his glass, a thought perched on the edges of his mind that is already watery with cognitive dissonance, Hotch starts typing before he’s even fully made the decision.

[]9/8, 23:30[] You really think my flirting is borderline? I was going for subtlety, but I must be rusty.

[]9/8, 23:32[] Actually, I just thought I was projecting.

[]9/8, 23:23[] You were married, I didn’t want to presume.

Oh. 

The consideration is touching, and sobering even in the dimness of his home office, but it draws the softest of smiles back to Hotch’s face when he begins to type out his answer.

[]9/8, 23:35[] Thank you, for thinking of me first.

[]9/8, 23:37[] But Haley and I separated a long time before she died. We were actually divorced before she went into WICSEC. I miss her every day. But I did try to date for a while, before that. 

[]9/8, 23:39[] No luck? I would have thought the FBI badge would at least garner some interest.

[]9/8, 23:40[] I’ve been told I’m intimidating.

[]9/8, 23:41[] I don’t think you are.

[]9/8, 23:42[] You will if you ever meet me. I’ve made underlings cry before without speaking a word.

[]9/8, 23:44[] The Hotchner stare. Have you coined that?

[]9/8, 23:45[] I should. It’s got a ring to it.

They banter and causally slip a few more… flirtatious comments in, and Hotch realizes it really isn’t that much different than before. That he had indeed been flirting with the man long before he knew his age. Which was odd, he didn’t typically go for older men and women. But now that he’s aware Spencer is younger than he thought, possibly even his own age (he swears he is, would put money on it if he could), somehow there’s more of a charge in their correspondence, a warmth and buzzing elation that has nothing to do with his Scotch. Especially now that it’s long gone.

It’s all Spencer, and how they compliment each other, and Hotch finds himself near giddy with that information.

He tries, towards the end of the night where it tips over into the early hours of the morning, to imagine an image of Spencer again -- and finds that he doesn’t even care to. He’s enamored with the man and his wit and the way he makes Hotch laugh without trying. How he looks, his age, it doesn’t matter. Not really. Not to Hotch.

But he is still curious why Spencer won’t reveal it. He can’t be that young.

[]9/9, 00:43[] You really won’t tell me?

[]9/9, 00:45[] Maybe one day. When I’m feeling brave.

[]9/9, 00:46[] Well, I’ll be there. Waiting. 

[]9/9, 00:46[] 32.

[]9/9, 00:47[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/9, 00:48[] There’s only so many numbers.

[]9/9, 00:50[] Goodnight, Hotch.

[9/9, 00:51] Goodnight, Spencer.

-

(tbc...)

-

Tagged List:  @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom​ @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat​​​ @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

[cassianstattoo]

HAPPY ACOSF RELEASE DAY!

(ACOSF SPOILERS AHEAD) ARE YOU EXCITED?

I personally am. It’s time for Nesta’s story (and not just hers) to be told. So, this leads to another thing I think (and hope) you’ve been waiting for.

LET’S EXPLAIN THE PLAYLIST! (Read every song’s meaning while or after reading the book) And thank you for all your love and support.

“Alone” by Melancholia: It describes the Cauldron scene at the beginning of the book. In this song you can feel the rage and how hard she’s struggling. This song is not about weakness. It’s about her strength.

“Impossible” by James Arthur: Chapter 1. Even if it’s not so clear in this chapter, I think this song represents how Cassian feels when Nesta’s around. He feels worthless and not so different from the other men she beds (as he thought in ACOFAS). He lost his hope of an happy future with the woman he loves and he feels like he’s breaking that last promise she made her. Everything just seems so impossible.

“Sister” by The Black Keys: Chapter 2. This just makes me think of Feyre and Nesta’s fight. It’s from Feyre’s pov.

“New House” by Toro y Moi: “I want a brand new house Something I can not buy, something I can afford I just want a long shower I been feeling so crowded” Chapter 3. It’s about Nesta settling down in the House of Wind. It’s not the place she feels she can call “home”. First of all, it’s not really hers. The last two sentences of this verse are about her breathing and trying to calm herself at the end of the chapter. She’s just tired.

“My Mother & I” by Lucy Dacus: Chapter 4. The whole song is about Nesta and the relationship with her mother when she was a child. I think there’s nothing else to say. Also, in the 1st Chapter it says that she’s born in spring, so the song talks about a girl who was born in May. It all fits.

“Teacher’s Pet” by Melanie Martinez”: “Teacher’s pet If I’m so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret The things we shared that I’ll never forget? Well, do you? Tell me that I know I’m young, but my mind is well beyond my years I knew this wouldn’t last, but fuck you, don’t you leave me here” Chapter 5 and 6. Nesta and Cassian’s first day of training together. She basically doesn’t want to act like she’s his pet and she’s got to do whatever he want just to respect her sister’s will.

“Dangerous Man” by Valley Of Wolves: “They say I’m a wanted man Holding line and break the fire I’m setting all the captives free But I’m hanging by a wire” Chapter 7. It’s about Eris and his double-cross. That’s how probably Cassian pictures Eris in his mind tbh.

“Control” by Halsey: Chapter 8. Nesta facing the stairs. It can be linked to other chapters too because if you take this song as a whole and not just a few verses, it really contains A LOT of things. For example, the line “The House was awake”. Also Chapter 9, when people start calling their children. You can find this moment in the song when it says “All the kids cried out ‘please stop, you’re scaring me”.

“Bookstore Girl” by Charlie Burg: Chapter 9. The bookstore girl is Gwyn and Nesta tries to know more about her.

“Wrong Direction” by Hailee Steinfeld: “I don’t hate you” Chapter 12. This song is about the chapter’s ending.

“You’ve Got a Friend In Me” by Cavetown: Chapter 13. Nesta and Gwyn’s interaction. Also, Nesta helping her.

“like that” by Bea Miller: Chapter 16. Nesta and Cassian’s tension is hilarious, but this song makes me thing about this scene so much.

“Queen” by Shawn Mendes: Chapter 17. Elain fighting with Nesta. This lyrics is so powerful. The first part is Elain talking to Nesta. The second part is Nesta talking to Elain.

“You’ll Follow Me Down” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 17. Same scene. This is totally Nesta. She’s so scared of herself and of the world that surrounds her. She’s afraid to lose her sister in this world she still knows nothing about if not violence. She wants Elain by her side, even if it means dragging her down with her.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapters 18/19. I like to call it “THE chapter”. Do you need me to explain why I chose this song? Um, I don’t think so. You know it.

“Only You” by Ellie Goulding: “Baby I’m on my knees” Chapter 22. He’s... returning the favor.

“Revolution” by Diplo, Faustix, Imanos, Kai: Chapter 24. Our girl Nesta knows what she’s doing. What she’s starting.

“Best Friend for Hire” by Anthony Amorim: Chapter 25. The whole song is about Nesta and Emerie’s interaction. Everytime I listen to it I can’t help but cry.

“Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)” by Hozier: Chapter 26.  Nesta’s worried about Cassian and gives him relief.

“Rise Up” by Andra Day: Chapters 27/28. These three girls are going to rise up, bitches.

“Nina Cried Power” by Hozier, Mavie Staples: Chapter 29. This song is really powerful, just like Nesta. She always is, but in this chapter we learn HOW MUCH.

“Fix Me Now” by Garbage: “Bring me back to life (fix me now) Kiss me blind” Chapter 31. THAT scene. HE HEATED UP THE WHOLE ROOM Y’ALL. Cassian literally kissed her back to life.

“Ready or Not” by Fugees: Chapters 34/35/36. I can’t choose only one quote from this song. But can you hear its vibes? Nesta’s leading a dead army. This is THE power. 

“PILLOWTALK” by ZAYN: Chapter 37. *wink* This song says everything.

“Go Fuck Yourself” by Two Feet: Always chapter 37. I couldn’t choose just one song, you know. Also, lowkey Chapter 38.

“Never Again” by Breaking Benjamin: “Never again, never again Time will ot take the life from me” Chapter 38′s ending. All I can say is: NEVER AGAIN.

“Boy In The Bubble” by Alec Benjamin: Not linked to just one chapter. It makes me thing of Azriel a lot.

“Past Lives” by BØRNS: “I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around Past lives couldn't ever come between us Some time the dreamers finally wake up Don't wake me I'm not dreaming“ Chapter 39. Gwyn and Azriel. Well, these lines are about them, but I think the rest of the song represents Elain and Azriel, too. I don’t know if you feel the same.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day: THIS IS AZRIEL’S SONG. YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

“Watch Me While I Bloom” by Hayley Williams: Chapter 41. Nesta teaching Cassian how to treat a woman. She’s got big dick energy ayeee

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys: Still chapter 41. Cassian taking control of the situation. This song just screams “dominant” lmao.

“Walls Could Talk” by Halsey: So Halsey once said “The House was awake” (Control). What if those Walls Could Talk? Like, poor thing. It could have a mental breakdown. This song is dedicated to the House of Wind ‘cause it needs respect. It’s alive. Just imagine how’d you feel watching non-stop those two fucking and fighting. Also Azriel, you’re loved.

“Despicable” by grandson: “If I were you I wouldn’t love me neither” Chapter 43. Tamlin deserves a song, too.

“Part Of Me” by Katy Perry: Chapters 45/46. It’s all SO chaotic. This song means a lot of things. They all lied to her, but this song is particularly about Nesta and Amren’s fight. In my opinion, she did the right think telling Feyre the truth ‘cause she deserved to know, but it just wasn’t the right time and space.

“Don’t Give Up On Me” by Andy Grammer: Chapter 47. Cassian’s going to take care of Nesta. She made a mistake but she knows here better than anyone. He won’t give up on her.

“There You Are” by ZAYN: Chapter 50. Cassian comforts Nesta when she finally explodes. He’s there for her with open arms.

“You Found Me” by The Fray: Still Chapter 50. This chapter was so hard to read and this is another song that can describe it best.

“Locked Out Of Heaven” by Bruno Mars: Chapter 51. Illyrian bat boys just love flat objects. I see.

“Thin White Lies” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 51. Yeah, still thinking about that desk.

“Chosen Family” by Rina Sawayama: Still Chapter 51. This song is wholly dedicated to Nesta’s new found family. Not only Gwyn and Emerie, but also Cassian.

“Library Magic” by The Head And The Heart: Chapter 52. Listen to this song and read the scene at the beginning of the chapter.

“Battle Cry” by Imagine Dragons: Chapter 54. I know it’s weird but I feel this song talks about Lanthys and Nesta’s fight.

“Hurt” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 55. Nesta takes Cassian to the place she lived with her family in the mortal lands. It’s dirty and broken now but it’s still there. Nes talks about her father and realizes how much he’s done for her and her sisters.

“Story Of Another Us” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 56. I know this sounds like a sad song but to me it represents Gwyn’s present. The story of their past (of another “them”) and also their present.

“Drama Club” by Melanie Martinez: Chapter 57. Eris vibes, y’all. I know you can feel them. Everytime I listen to this song I can’t help but thinking of him. So the only thing I can tell you is: listen carefully.

“Genius” by Sia, Diplo, Labrinth: Chapter 57. Hear this song. It just makes me think of a ballroom where two people try to talk to other people and they’re avoiding to make eye contact. And they fail (yeah, those people are Cassian and Nesta btw)

“Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish: Chapter 57. Still about Eris, but also Cassian. They can’t stand each other. So imagine the astronomical energy (inside of this bus lmfao) when Nesta comes in between.

“All About Us” by He Is We, Owl City: Chapter 57. Nessian dancing.

“Rock Bottom” by Hailee Steinfeld ft. DNCE: Chapter 58. This song is SO accurate. This is the moment I realized “That’s it. I think I can die happy now” and then I started crying. Nesta just thinking she’s not enough and she deserves to be with someone as ugly as she thinks she is. Cassian is like “shut the hell up, woman” and yeah. That’s the kind of energy and conversation I was waiting for.

“Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by Oasis: Chapter 58. Their life becomes brighter. They have to stop crying their heart out because of their fears and the emotions they keep trying to hide. They need to feel free and express all the love they can give to each other.

“Fade Into You” by Nashville Cast, Sam Palladio, Clare Bowen: Chapter 58. Finally the truth comes out and everything becomes real. Even if the song is pretty sad, the lyrics is just SO accurate and it describes the scene perfectly.

“I Miss You” by Adele: Chapter 59. Basically Nesta feeling needy ‘cause she doesn’t see Cassian for days, but it’s more than that. Pay attention to the depth of the song. It shakes you. And that’s what Nesta feels when she thinks of Nesta.

“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 59/61. I want to dedicate it to my favorite girls in this book: Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. They’ve been through a lot but they also learnt to face their fears. And they realized that unity is strength.

“Smile” by Uncle Kracker: Chapter 62. Cassian’s sooo happy to be with Nesta it breaks my heart. And his own too.

“Broken Pieces” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 62. Aaand here we go again. Cassian just wants Nesta to give him the chance to be happy with her.

“Carried Away” by H.E.R.: Chapter 62. Nesta thinks they got too carried away and now they’re at a point of no return. She opened herself to him too much. It’s not like she regrets this but she understands that now everything’s too real and changing. She doesn’t feel ready.

"What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes: Ending of Chapter 63. Okay, I’ll make you laugh but this is me after reading it. I needed to put a song about how I felt when I read this freaking ending, after all the devastation Chapter 62 brought into my heart. And the fact that Nesta’s 25 and the first line begins with “25 years”... I DIED. Also I think of her just screaming to the word “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”.

“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by Eurythmics ft. Aretha Franklin: Chapters 64/65/66. DO I NEED TO DESCRIBE IT? NAH, I DON’T THINK SO. THESE GIRLS ARE POWERFUL, STRONG AND SMART AS HELL.

“Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé Chapters 67/68/69/70. The girls want to win and they’re going to conquer everything with no mercy.

“Puppets” by Depeche Mode: Chapter 71. Eris impotence t is heartbreaking.

“Warriors” by Imagine Dragons: This song is for every character. It’s about Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn, but also Cassian, Azriel and Eris. They’re fighting different battles and they’re doing it with every ounce of power they have.

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco: Chapter 74. Nesta kicking Briallyn’s ass.

“Survivor” by Destiny’s Child: This song is dedicated to Emerie and Gwyn. They spent all their lives learning how to survive. At the end, they finally won.

“Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele: THE Nessian Anthem. I put this here ‘cause FINALLY they’re endgame. But something bad’s about to happen...

“Cancer” by My Chemical Romance: Chapter 76. This chapter’s been the hardest one to face. I had to put the book down for a minute and breathe. I know this song made you panic and ow you know why I chose it. I can’t stop crying thinking about Feyre in those conditions and all the IC and her sisters surrounding her. I’m still so heartbroken.

“You Saved Me” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 77. Nesta cares about Feyre. She’s her little sister and she just can’t let her die like that. She gave her a happy ending even if Nes had to lose almost every ounce of power she had and learned to accept. But they’re worthless in comparison with her sisters life. She just loves them both. She’d do anything for them and this scene proves it.

“Lean on Me” by Bill Withers: This song is about friendship and sisterhood. Nesta’s relationship with Gwyn and Emerie, but also with Feyre and Elain (and lowkey Rhys). Also, I dedicate it to little Nyx, too. They all love you, babyboy, and would do anything for you. Welcome to this chaotic world, kid!

“Sorry” by Halsey: Chapter 78. These are not explicit apologies. Nesta doesn’t need to say “sorry” vocally. She already demonstrated it. Her actions speak louder than words and her sister know it. This song is not about a “romantic lover” but a “person who loves” and they all love too much and strongly.

“Amazing” by Aerosmith: WE FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT. This is the happy ending they deserve (but the cliffhanger is killing me tbh). It’s about everyone in this book. I put it in the playlist ‘cause at first I thought it could refer to Azriel and Cassian. But the more i listened to it, the more I realized it just describes every single character.

“The Reason” by Hoobastank↓

“this is me trying” by Taylor Swift: Both the songs refer to Chapter 80. Nesta visiting her father’s grave is one of the first steps to finally go on. The songs represent what she really wants to tell her father. He’s the reason to start over. And she’s trying. Even if she made mistakes she’s ready to fight for the happiness and love she denied herself years and now she knows she deserves it.