#frustrated its a lot easier to just show support for what other people are making instead

[welcometoteyvat]

ehhhhhhhh its so weird, not editing is pretty freeing, like all i'm really doing is just saying my silly little thoughts into the void as i play genshin, reblog some stuff, add some IDs, go do my irl tasks, translate a bit, and there's ig a lot less mental expectation for notes and things, which I didn't quite expect considering i was really into graphic making when i was working on that azhdaha post and was like "omg im getting new ideas every minute i'm never going to stop posting or working on gfx"

[thestarstoasun]

Possibly a hot take, but I think the Tartarus trip actually helped Will a lot. Obviously I have my disappointments with the book, but we do not only see Nico healing from the copious amount of trauma Rick fit into him; we get to see Will come to terms with darker parts of himself.

It's canon/very heavily implied (I can't remember and don't feel like looking it up) he came to camp at a very young age, younger than campers that aren't deemed "powerful" or have a strong scent. Despite Will thinking he isn't strong, he is the best healer Camp Half Blood has seen in, what we can assume, at least a century. He's a year-rounder, so he hasn't experienced life on the outside in years. Hell, until Trials of Apollo, his godly parent hardly took notice of him.

His older brothers and other siblings were his biggest supporters and motivators. They looked out for him and took care of him in place of a parent, specifically the older kids (Lee and Michael.) And he lost them during the Dark Prophecy - less than 2 years apart from each other. He didn't even get to search for Michael because Percy took him for a joyride across Manhattan on a motorcycle to help Annabeth.

Even after all of that, its implied/seen that he's someone who is always looking on the bright side of things, never making anything about himself, always helping others, etc. He's a ray of sunshine in everyone's life, never allowing himself to show anyone that he's hurting or suffering because he feels like he just can't. After all, he's Will Solace. He is the head medic, the infirmary can't just stop running. He's the counselor for cabin, his siblings need him to be strong.

He represses his negative emotions, even admits to it in Trials of Apollo. I think he represses them to a point he can avoid/ignore them or pretend they aren't his. It's easier to be a ray of sunshine in people's lives if the negativity and darkness you feel are projected onto someone else.

These tendencies are also something that causes strain in Nico and Will's relationship, because Nico doesn't understand how Will can't see how hypocritical he is. When in reality, Will does know, but it's easier if he avoids it. Ignorance is bliss after all. This doesn't mean Will doesn't work on trying to let Nico in, because he does, sort of.

On bad days, the days when he wakes up and wants nothing more than to curl up in the arms of his older brothers, he would go to Nico's cabin. However, his only explanation would ever be, "im tired." It frustrated him just as much as it upset Nico. He wasn't even sure if his boyfriend could tell. (Nico could, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.)

In Persephone's garden, he was forced to face the fact that there is darkness/negativity/hurt inside of him. He can't deny it when it's right in front of him, so he finally has to stop repressing everything, stop running away, and face his pains.

[deep-hearts-core]

A post about the Loreen thing,

which I'm making separately so that it isn't hidden under the cut when I do my yearly review.

First of all it is necessary to state that I don't hate Tattoo. I have it fifteenth for the year. I liked Euphoria and I like some of Loreen's other music. I am not jumping on the hater train because I hate Loreen or hate the song. She sounded good on the night and the staging was, as we expect of Sweden, showy and mostly visually interesting.

HOWEVER. I think that there are two reasons that people are angry right now and both of them are justified. Firstly, it's because of the way the voting system works currently and what narratives work well on a television show (which Eurovision, ultimately, is). Secondly, it's because some more discerning fans are picking up on some of the circumstances surrounding Loreen's participation and win and have gotten out their red string.

To point one: This is the first time since the split voting system was implemented in 2016 that the winner of the jury vote won the contest. We've previously had entries who won neither, but there was too big of a split between the jury and televote winner (2016, 2019), an entry who won both votes (2017), and entries who won the televote (2018, 2021, 2022). Eurovision has changed a lot since its inception and in some ways the juries are a holdover from when it was a song contest rather than a performance contest (they were also reintroduced to combat bloc voting and then just made the bloc voting worse so do with that what you will). These days, the people like to vote!!! The people also like an underdog, which we went into the contest knowing that Finland was--or at least, the only other contender with a fighting chance of beating Queen Loreen. So seeing Loreen absolutely sweep the jury vote, country by country, with a margin of over 100 points, got boring and frustrating real fast.

I'm not saying down with the juries necessarily. I'm a somewhat serious musician who often loves jury bait songs and the juries have played an important role in supporting the songs I really like. And sometimes, the tension between the jury vote and public vote is okay! Sometimes it's interesting and makes for good television! But last night was not, narratively, good television.

I mean, maybe it was for some people.

Which leads me to point two: the red string. Now, I am not usually a conspiracy theory person at Eurovision. I mean, my first Eurovision was 2016 and I remember how the Russia fans got about that. My second Eurovision was 2017 and I hated APD with a burning passion at the time and I didn't get out the red string then.

But this... I think a lot of more serious fans are looking at the big picture. So, when a country wins, they get to be on the reference group and participate in decision-making about contest rules and such. The last time Sweden won was 2015. This win put them at 6 total, one behind Ireland. Sweden has made being good at Eurovision part of their national identity. The split voting system was introduced the following year, at the 2016 contest, hosted by Sweden.

Fast forward to this year. Sweden have placed 5th three times, 4th once, and then 7th and 14th which are less interesting, in the years since. Objectively very good results. But this year, the contest final was due to take place on Johnny Logan's birthday (Johnny Logan being the first, at that time only, competitor in history to win twice). The fiftieth anniversary of Abba's win is next year. And Loreen decided to come back to Melodifestivalen.

Loreen had previously tried to return in 2017 with the song "Statements" but wiped out in Melfest's second chance round. So it wasn't necessarily guaranteed that she would sweep. However, many fans felt that this year's Melfest entries were really weak songs, which made it easier for "Tattoo", with its flashy staging and name recognition, to soar to a win. In a real monkey's paw moment, I said after watching Melfest that the only way I could accept Loreen winning Melfest was if she Johnny Logan'd. Lol.

Even before Melfest, though, there were also the new voting rules. For the first time this year, semifinal qualifiers would be decided only through televote, not based on the juries. As I noted last night, this meant that the televote would likely be split among many songs--we'd still have a televote winner, but if the jury coalesced behind one song, the jury winner would win the contest. This... happened.

It's also worth noting that the current executive supervisor of the contest is Swedish, and that even before the voting sequence there were references to Abba and Johnny Logan throughout the night. That, in addition to the weak Melfest, timing of both voting changes, and the timing of the contest, adds up to a conspiratorial picture, for those who are so inclined.

And, lastly, I also think some of us are having fun arguing with Loreen fans, especially those who are like "well, YOU voted for her, so you don't get to complain!" Reader, I did not vote for Loreen. I in fact voted for Finland, among others. Most of us who are complaining did not, in fact, vote for Loreen. And look I don't wanna be like last year's Spain fans who to this day say that Chanel was the true winner of the 2022 contest but it is pretty fun to be a hater.

At the end of the day, it is what it is and there isn't anything we can do to change it, but it's fun to be angry in the meantime, and I personally had fun assembling all the reasons why people are angry into a nice little tumblr post for you all. Thank you and goodnight <3

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - God Won’t Roll The Dice 3

(Location: Cage)

(A few minutes before— The “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” set’s cage)

Rinne: —And that’s when I found out that Kohaku-chan’s scared of ghosts.

Oh! You won’t tell him, right? He seems to be pretty conscious of it♪

Madara: Oh. I’ve heard good things about that♪

I want to take Kohaku-san to a haunted house next time and see his reaction. I’m serious about it.

Rinne: No, completely ignore it.

Well, it’s not something to hide and I don’t care what you say.

More importantly, I’m curious about whether you guys’ll continue with Double Face. He’s got his schedule set aside for Crazy:B, doesn’t he?

Madara: Haha. What’re you talking about, Rinne-san? Isn’t that Kohaku’s main job?

I’m a two-timer with MaM too. It’s nice to be able to use it for convenience, like a relative’s house that you go to sometimes.

Rinne: I don’t mind either way. I’m sure Kohaku-chan wants to do it too.

Madara: More importantly, it looks like other idols are listening in, aren’t they?

I don’t know how it looks from the outside, but ES isn’t rock solid either. How about I talk to you like someone who knows inside info?

You’re good at getting the audience excited in your lives, right?

Rinne: Lives and chats are two different things. I’m not really a gossip, y’kno~w?

Madara: Despite what you’re saying, you look like you can’t help but want to chat♪

Rinne: Gyahaha, that’s true!

I’ve also been forced to suffer a lot. I feel sorry for all the cute kids that couldn’t fit into the industry!

If you have something to say, say it♪ We’re in a cage anyway, no one will hear you.

Idol: There’s nothing to talk about with a blessed ES idol……

Rinne: Oi oi. You’re too naive. It’s true that we’re in a pretty lofty position, but up until recently I was on the verge of being fired, y’know.

But lucky for me, I won the bet. I risked my life on a big gamble and just barely hit the mark.

If I say that, people might get angry because it means the future’s uncertain. “Don’t lecture me” and “You don’t have to tell me” and all that.

Rinne: But I can tell you this. The goddess of fate won’t smile on those who curse their own fate♪

I’m an idol, just like all of you. So don’t be so cold.

Let me hear your stories.

Idol: ………

…… The reason we appeared on “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” was because it’s what the agency wanted.

Since I’m in a small agency, I had no choice but to obey.

The program’s intentionally trying to make the ES idols lose.

It looks like they gave support items to some idols in advance, and it can turn any situation upside-down.

Rinne: Haah? Does that mean this program’s rigged?

Madara: An interesting story. In other words, you guys are assassins who showed up to outwit us.

However, you’re a pretty “cute” assassin. I guess you have no intention of taking my life.

What’s your purpose, then?

Even if you beat us, since it’s not a pure performance-based contest, there won’t be much benefit to it, right?

Rinne: No, I don’t know about that.

ES is a big deal to these guys.

They want to win, even if just once, and to get rid of their frustrations— those are also motivating factors.

Madara: So what’s really going on? The sooner you talk, the easier it’ll be.

The circumstances of adults aren’t that satisfactory anyways.

Idol: We don’t know why the agency came up with a plan like that……

All I heard from the agency was “We want you to appear on a NETV program in order to eliminate the disparities in the entertainment industry.”

I even wonder sometimes what the point of doing something like this is. But the director, who didn’t like the way ES was running things, was also on board with it……

Honestly, we didn’t expect ES idols to be so friendly.

Sorry for acting the way I did.

Madara: Hmm. So you guys are at the bottom and don’t understand what the agency or director are thinking.

Then, it seems we have no choice but to ask the production director.

Rinne: Wait. That kind of thing—

How about we flip that scenario on its head?

Madara: Yeah…… Personally, I’d like to understand the other party’s plans and destroy them. I honestly don’t care whether we win or lose the program.

…… But it’s annoying to fall into our opponent’s trap, isn’t it?

Alright. Well, I’ll be happy to help ya out♪

CosPro and NewDi are probably similar in that their leaders hate losing.

I think they’d hate it, but how about we form a united front?

I’m sure that’ll make the program more exciting♪

Rinne: Heeh, that’s fine. A united front♪

It’s hard to be trusted easily though. We’re a team with poisonous bees and poisonous snakes. You never know when we’re going to poison you, right?

Madara: Hahaha, I can’t speak for others, but I’m used to not being trusted.

Even as we proclaim our own justice, we transcend barriers and fight together for the same purpose— that’s also heroic, and I like it♪

Previous | Directory | Next

[emblazons]

I firmly believe that a lot of the Byler hate comes from people who think that ST is the kind of lowbrow show that wrote Mileven badly because they didn't care and that the Duffers would never even think to make Byler canon. Between volumes one and two there were so many people supporting Byler because they thought it was a genuine possibility but then after Volume two crushed them, they joined the camp of antis that believed that we were delusional for thinking it would be made canon, and now most people who were former Bylers dislike the ship because they think it's all over, and this is also reflected in the views of the GA who think that since it didn't happen in volume 2, it won't happen ever and so they end up complaining about the way the story has been written and refusing to entertain the possibility that it could all be done like that for a reason since they don't want to get their hopes up and potentially get crushed again.

I've talked about this before, but: honestly I think a lot of the issue that we've just had a whole SWATH of popular tv in recent years that had writers finish off complex plots with horrifically written, underdeveloped narratives/surprises that devastated the hardcore fans of the shows (looking hard David and Dan of GoT, but they certainly aren't the only ones), which has left a lot of people ready and waiting to be disappointed by yet another favorite in ST.

I think a lot of people are more willing to write off what happened as shit writing than to believe it was done on purpose TO undermine mlvn and build up byler—and its because it's easier to believe the shitty relating of Mike/El compared to the two "platonic" male leads was an unintended consequence rather than meaningful action, the same way its been in a lot of other popular shows.

Given how many times writers of TV have fcked up the landing on both primary character relationships AND story in general (even without a queer element), their ongoing "its just bad writing, but also I don't know why they did xyz if" takes are understandable, if a bit frustrating for those of us who have spent the last year analyzing it. A lot of people on reddit rn honestly sound like me a few weeks after ST4 finished, because most of them have (quite fairly, if we're all honest with ourselves) not spent their fandom time connecting every little dot across 34 episodes of TV for fun.

Even so: I think most people "irritated" by mlvn while not shipping byler now will be pleasantly surprised if and when Byler gets its due —not necessarily because of "queer rep," but because it means that the way a show was written will have been intentional, and the writing and feelings caused by their earlier seasons will have a purpose rather than being the result of a writer having a plot line they were too stupid to see (or not capable enough) to follow through on. Mlvns who just get to yell and gloat about "winning" while most battle-weary fans stay silent is just part of the wait-and-see of the final season lmao

Thanks for the ask!

[wooahaes]

no but like... genuinely. thank y’all for following me. i know i can be kind of depressing sometimes (its the depression, as you may guess), but it does mean a lot that you guys stick around despite that. or block my talking tags, which is entirely fair lol do what you want tbh? i’m genuinely not really bothered by that sort of thing.

like i said: writing has always been my lifeblood. i’ve been writing for well over ten years and it’s taken a really long time for me to develop my style to a point where i’m happy with it. there’s still moments where i get frustrated and feel like everything i write is bad, but that’s always a sign for me to step back and do something else. stepping away from everything for a few days and playing video games is what helped me come back feeling refreshed.

i think i’ll share a part of a writing portfolio i had to do for class once just to show like... how deep a lot of this goes. this was written as part of an intro to an assignment back in april of 2020, shortly after i’d been sent home from campus because of the pandemic. it’s two years before i started this blog, and it‘s over a year since i got back into kpop in general. (split into pieces for easier reading, btw)

for people who aren’t interested in that, thanks again for the follow and the support. i appreciate you guys being with me for this journey.

The hardest thing to do is to show oneself to others. When it comes to sharing my own writing, it has always been extremely difficult to open up a document, spill my soul onto a keyboard, and be ready to display that like a bakery displays its pastries behind a glass. The things I write are a part of who I am as a person, especially the ugly bits. My poetry comes from vulnerable places most of the time, displaying short bursts of who I am in each thing - while my fiction will always be a deeper look into myself. When I write fiction, I feel like providing some entertainment or thought-provoking work is merely one small aspect of what I do. I write fiction for myself and for others.

My goals are not to write a story that wins prizes, that gets thousands of people recognizing it for anything - it is to make people feel something. While certainly fame and recognition would be lovely, it has never been my primary focus for writing. I want to write stories that matter to someone for whatever reason. I want to write the things I wish I had read while growing up. If I can give someone a story that inspires them in any way to be better, or to write their own stories, then I feel a sense of accomplishment. I want to write the things that some people need to hear - through love, through empowerment, through self-discovery. All the things that I feel people deserve to hear.

The fiction I wrote was only one part of what I enjoy writing. I love fantasy, I love romance, and I honestly love writing fanfiction still as it is a part of who I am and the reason I started writing in general. All of these things make up different parts of who I am and I’m proud of that. Even if people look down upon things like fanfiction or young adult romance, I write the things that I want to write and that should be enough. Isn’t it enough to write and be happy? Shouldn’t that be what we all strive for? My ultimate goal as a writer is to write the things that make me happy. If they make someone else happy, then that’s a bonus - but my happiness with my work should come first. 

[skye-huntress]

Ice Queendom Dub Reaction

Episode 4: “Ice Queendom”

Just a quick note that I acknowledge the recent controversy. Maybe I will say my piece on it some other time, but for the time being I have decided I will still support RWBY and creators behind it. So until RWBY is finished or actually cancelled, I will remain subscribed, and for the record I was not interested in RT’s other shows.

Love to see Ruby geek out over the dream version of Crescent Rose. Again, I have to remind myself that Weiss’ subconscious deliberately altered Ruby’s weapon in an attempt to help and guide her.

I can’t tell if it is in my head or not, but sometimes I think I can sense a hint of frustration in Shion’s voice when talking to Ruby, which is completely fair. We’ve all already done the jokes about how quickly Ruby went through her coins.

So we’re calling them “breadcrumbs” now? Okay?

Also on the White Fang, I’ve come to realise that how they are portrayed in Weiss’ dream is actually probably fairly normal. They don’t wear Grimm masks to be portrayed as freedom fighters, most of them chose to embrace the identities of monsters. The only difference with Weiss compared to most people is that she makes the comparison out of hatred instead of fear. When Blake’s Nightmare took over, she became more monstrous while the White Fang stayed the same, just under her control, suggesting that Blake in part viewed them (and herself) in a similar way. Then you compare that to Weiss’ dream version of Blake and its not intimidating or threatening at all, on the contrary it’s a bit silly and even a little adorable.

Don’t worry, Blake, I forgive you. You had a lot to work through yourself, which would have made you as much of ideal target for a Nightmare as Weiss was. Yang on the other hand… She heard firsthand what Shion said to watch for, and she was the one who got a front row seat to Weiss having a meltdown. She was too busy being pissed off on Ruby and Blake’s behalf, even though the former showed no ill will to Weiss, and the latter was starting to come terms with the fact that they were both right and wrong on many things.

Someone sounds like they had fun voicing Batley.

You know those shadow people in the dust shop talking about the Faunus attack, I had wondered if these were the kinds of conversations that Weiss had seen and heard a lot of growing up.

Hearing the English VAs saying “Big Nicholas!” makes it sound even more silly, and that’s okay, great even. It shows a more childish side to Weiss, and Nicholas was her childhood hero and her greatest inspiration.

When Ruby was speaking up about her fear that Weiss didn’t want to see her, the way that she sounded like she was close to crying resonated with me.

It’s a little easier to follow Shion’s little speech though I don’t fully understand the metaphor they’re using.

I don’t know if the English dub is still going to call her Negative Weiss, but now that I’ve seen Negative Blake and can compare the two to the normal selves, I’ve gotten a good understanding of why Nega-Weiss is the way she is. She is an embodiment of most of Weiss’ worst traits without them being balanced out by her best qualities. And just like with Blake, this is a side of Weiss that she herself doesn’t necessarily like, parts of herself she at least knows she needs to reign in at times like what happened with Blake the previous episode. Nega-Weiss lacks Weiss’ ability to empathise and forgive, she also doesn’t seem to share the same level of defiance, allowing her family to pressure her to act a certain way, especially towards Ruby, which would be a likely fear of Weiss’. She’s afraid of being nothing more than a pawn of her father, like Blake is afraid of ending up just like Adam. I think that’s why Weiss’ nightmare version of herself lacks any colour, like how she usually wears red, I would say it is like she has been stripped of her individualism.

All that being said, I get why Nega-Weiss is so annoyed with Ruby. The way she blundered about, destroying the robots and worst of all, gaining the attention of that damn Jacques AI and Batley. It flies in the face of how Weiss was taught a person should behave.

And poor Ruby whom has been struggling to understand Weiss this whole time, is taking everything that happens within a dream, a nightmare, at face value.

[einprotagonist]

Random People. Or are they?

Whenever I move to a new place in my life, it brings forth an opportunity to meet new people. Learn about them, their ways, their life and what not which they open up slowly. I have shared how when I moved to Hyderabad and had shit loads of issues, I met one of my best friends in life - Harbhajan. He was just another guy in my class when I first met him. When I moved to Delhi NCR then I met some great friends, and also got to know what a good lover feels like.

Similarly, now when I have moved to Wales - I am meeting new people whenever I am out in public. All sorts really. When I came here initially, I met this one guy within first week of moving in here through my post on Reddit - something along the lines of looking to explore city and learn about common spots useful to everyday life. Funny, little weird in his own ways but a great guy, he showed me around and taught me some useful things about the city. Few days later he introduced me to some more people he'd met in similar fashion who were just looking to hangout and meet new people.

These new people were not only new to me but also new to each other. Today, I know that I have a handful amount of good friends I can name and some I'd say is a bond for life thing now. At least on my end.

Things in my mind were absolute shitstorm when I arrived here, I thought I had myself all in control but it was far from it. A lot of my problems kicked in and the strength I had accumulated over the years to keep my problems buried was lost. I broke down and needed more support than ever. My love was not with me, I was missing support which I did not know I missed all the time - just never gave into it. When the pot overflowed, I ended up breaking up to the person I'd probably loved more than anyone in the world. I placed her on the same level as my family, that should speak for itself.

Now I was not only in my own emotional turmoil but going through this end of a 8-9 year overall relation with someone. I found comfort in going to meet these people, a break from daily life of eat, study, cook, clean and sleep. I opened up about some of frustrations but not all of my personal life. It takes me time to open up, I know its ironic that I write about it in a public space for quite some time now.

The random people as I say soon became a small little thing in town called Swansea Social Club, we often meet up and just chat, unwind, play games and sometimes share food & drinks. We became pretty regular, from 5-6 people to begin with - today it is a group of more than 350 people where around 50 people actively involve at least once a month in some activity.

Its not like all of these members know me and my struggles up close, but its good to know that there is a space where people have come up together to socialise and make life easier by just sharing laughs.

There are a couple of Matt with whom I learned to open up in such a short time, they have helped me overcome so many of breakdown episodes of mine. They have been there on calls, in person, over texts and wherever situation required. I could not say that I have had this kind of emotional availability in a friend before, partly because I was always a closed book in many aspects and partly because the culture differs between here and where I have been before. It's not just these two lads who've been there for me or anyone else, all the friends are equally nice and helping. I just mention them for now because they've seen me cry, even my childhood best friends have not seen me open up that much. My mistake? Maybe.

In these random people I met over a platform described as bizarre for meeting people, I have found a great deal of support and care. It would be modest of me to say I'd go any lengths to help them if they ever needed it and I'll make sure they know it.

People are and will always be random, you always come to know them slowly. As stupid as things they like or believe, it is all an experience to learn from and grow in life. These random people are your life lessons, what do you take away from them is your own perspective.

[nattikay]

not to sound too much like an edgy middle schooler, but man sometimes i just wish I was Normal™

[itsdanii]

Rejecting you and regretting it

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: slight cursing, rude behavior (resolved), do message me if I forgot any.

ft. sakusa kiyoomi, tsukishima kei

Sakusa Kiyoomi

you're not oblivious to the fact that kiyoomi is a very conscious person

that's one of the things you loved about him

he was hygienic and he always made sure that his health was his utmost priority

but one downside is that kiyoomi had the tendency to push people away because of his straightforwardness

you were used to it and in fact, you were one of those people he tolerated

but everyone has their bad days

and unfortunately for you, today was kiyoomi's and since you were always attached to him by the hip, he unintentionally snapped at you

what's worse is that he snapped at you the moment you confessed to him

"Omi!" you shouted happily as you entered the gymnasium, giving Komori a small wave before making your way to where Kiyoomi was sitting.

He looked at you with a frown. He wasn't wearing a mask since they were training awhile ago and only took a quick break. "Y/n, what are you doing here?"

You sat beside him making Kiyoomi grimace and slightly move away. You frowned at him, completely displeased at the action. "I just wanted to give you a visit. Plus, I have something to tell you."

You started to fiddle with your fingers nervously. You practiced your confession several times already but doing it seemed harder than you thought.

"What is it? Talk, I'm not in the right mood to socialize right now."

Out of panic, you quickly blurted out a rather loud, "I like you!" You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and stared at him wide eyed.

The other players looked at you with sympathy, knowing what's about to happen. Out of all days, you really had to confess today, when Kiyoomi was in a pissy mood after several fangirls pushed themselves against him this morning, not minding his personal space.

Kiyoomi stared at you with a serious expression before standing up. "I don't like you. Leave."

"But Omi.."

"You're irritating and you always bother me when it is clear that I don't want your company." He turned around and left you on the bench, your head casted down in humiliation.

You whispered a small sorry before running out of the gym with tears falling from your eyes.

For the next few days, you did your very best to stay away from Kiyoomi. You changed your route to school knowing that your usual route meant that you have to pass by his house. Even if you got scolded several times for being late, you did not stop.

You sat near the door so you can easily exit the room after class. You even stopped eating with Komori and Kiyoomi during breaks and lunch. Even your usual routine of visiting the gym during practices was stopped.

At first, Kiyoomi didn't mind. He knew that you'd come back in a few days just like you always did. You like him after all, right?

But when a few days turned into weeks, He started getting bothered. Why weren't you pestering him like always? Why did you stop visiting him? You said you like him, right?

It was the second week that Kiyoomi took action. He woke up extra early to wait for you infront of your house, aiming to confront you about your behavior.

When you went out, your eyes widened slightly upon seeing Kiyoomi waiting for you outside. He was wearing his face mask while staring at you intently, letting you know that he purposely waited for you.

You looked down and was about to walk pass him when you felt him tugging on your wrist. Your gaze snapped to his hand, not believing that he was indeed touching your skin.

"Sakusa?"

His eye twitched at the weirdness of you not calling him like usual. Sighing, he stepped a little closer to you, hand still holding your wrist to ensure that you won't run away from him.

"You're ignoring me," he said while eyeing you. "Why?"

You took your hand from him and furrowed your brows. "I'm just doing you a favor. I don't want to be a bother anymore. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I-"

"It's fine, Sakusa. You don't have to force yourself to apologize just because you feel bad or obliged to."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not apologizing because I feel bad."

"Then what? You're apologizing just to make fun of me? I know I said I like you but that doesn't mean that you have the right to-"

"You don't get it!"

At this point, you were both raising your voices. Some passersby were looking at you two weirdly, some even running as to not get caught up in the fight.

"Get what, Sakusa? Why don't you tell me so I can understand?!"

"I like you!" Kiyoomi exclaimed. "I... Fuck. I like you, okay? I wasn't in the mood when you confessed and I rejected you without thinking. I messed up. The moment I saw you walk out, I knew I fucked up real bad and I-"

"Om-"

"And I thought that you'd come back the next day to bother me again like usual. I wanted to apologize but my pride-"

You sighed as he continued to ramble. With fast movements, you stood on your tiptoes and encircled your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, kissing him over his mask.

When you let go, Kiyoomi was silent. His eyes were wide and you thought that you went over board. Panic made its way to your face as you try to find the words to explain.

"Sorry, I didn't me-"

This time, he was the one to cut you off. Kiyoomi took off his mask and bent down to kiss you on your lips. One of his arms snaked around your waist to support you while the other settled on your nape, angling you to him.

"Be my s/o."

Tsukishima Kei

Everyone in Karasuno knew how much you like Tsukishima

In fact, you remind him everyday

You often give him fresh strawberries from the market and even bake him strawberry cake

Sometimes, you would put little sticky notes on his belongings and write some encouraging words like "you can do it", "I believe in you" or "take it easy!"

On his birthday, you even gave him a hoodie with a dino design (which he secretly loved)

There are times that you knew Tsukishima gets irritated when you visit and even snaps at you but you didn't mind. You liked him and a small snap will not discourage you

But what you didn't know was that it would only take one conversation to completely shatter your heart

"-And they're back," Sugawara said as he saw you enter the gym, a bubbly smile present on your face as usual.

"Kei!" You skipped your way towards Tsukishima and handed him his water bottle which you voluntarily refilled with hot water.

He only gave you a 'tsk' and took the water bottle. Adjusting his glasses, he stared at you from head to toe as if analyzing you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.

"What are you looking at? Have you finally come to realize that you like me back?" you cheekily asked, poking his bicep.

"No. I was just wondering how someone could look so ugly."

Despite what he said, you forced yourself to giggle, covering your upset feeling with an eye roll. "Oh shut up, Kei. You don't have to hide it, you know? Don't worry, I'm not going to reject you."

You winked at him causing Tsukishima to blush even more.

The rest of the boys snickered and laughed at his reaction which made Tsukishima more embarrassed than he already is.

"Just confess to the girl already, Tsukishima. Can't you see she's trying hard to win you?" Daichi said with a small chuckle while patting Tsukishima's back.

Tsukishima just huffed and pushed his glasses up. "What's there to like? They're nothing but an eyesore anyway."

"What?" you asked in disbelief.

Having a playful banter with Tsukishima was normal in your routine but this was the first time he called you such an offensive term. Does he really think of you that way?

"Oh come on, stop acting dumb. I don't even get why there are guys running after you. I mean, there's really nothing much to look at, right?"

Everyone grew quiet at what he said, clearly not expecting Tsukishima to be at such level of rudeness.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat as your insecurity skyrocketed. "I try hard every single day to look presentable to you. I-"

You paused for a moment to laugh pathetically at yourself. "I exert a lot of effort to make you notice me. I cook for you, I give you gifts. Heck, I even stay after class to help clean the gym so that the task would be easier for you and I'm not even asking for anything in return."

Tsukishima glared at you sharply that you immediately felt extremely smaller than him. "I never asked you to do those things for me."

"Can't you at least show me that you care?" You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "Because I'm slowly getting tired of this push and pull game."

"Don't you get it? I don't like you. Why don't you stop pushing yourself to me and start getting a life, hm?"

"Tsukishima, that's enough!" you heard Daichi yell at him.

"Y/n?" Sugawara was immediately beside you, his hand rubbing circles on your back in attempt to calm you down.

"No-" You lifted your face up to meet Tsukishima's eyes. "I think he's right. I should stop being a nuisance and focus on myself."

"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry," you said before giving Tsukishima a bow and leaving the gym with everyone's eyes following your figure until the door shut.

Everyone could only look at Tsukishima as he cursed under his breath.

"Shit."

The moment you left the gym, you headed straight to the comfort room to let your tears out. You stared at yourself on the mirror as tears cascaded down your cheeks.

"You're beautiful," you reassured yourself while pointing at your own reflection. "What he said doesn't make you any less. Know your worth."

You wiped your tears and splashed your face with cold water before getting out and heading to class without sparing Tsukishima any glance.

You ignored Tsukishima, stopped visiting the gym and focused on yourself. You even made made friends with some of your classmates that you didn't bother getting associated with last time because you were too focused on capturing the attention of Tsukishima.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain male was eyeing you as you interact with other people. He blamed himself for pushing you away. He didn't talk to you, thinking that you only wanted space for a couple days before bothering him again.

He knew that what he said was out of line and he regret everything he did. He even asked Yamaguchi and the rest of the team for advice but all of them responded with the same answer - apologize and tell you how he feels.

Tsukishima gripped the pen tightly as he watched you laughing at something your classmate said. The said classmate was too close to you and it was obvious that he was trying to flirt with you.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called out. He followed Tsukishima's gaze and sighed. "Why don't you go and talk to them?"

"Tsk. Why would I do that? Can't you see they're enjoying his company?" Tsukishima bitterly said.

"You'll end up losing them if you don't do something about it now. Who knows, they might already be lo-" Yamaguchi stopped as Tsukishima instantly stood up and made his way to where you are.

Taking your wrist, he pulled you towards him, heading out of the classroom.

"Tsukishima, what the hell?!" You tried to resist but his grip on your wrist only tightened.

You gasped as he suddenly stopped, trapping you against a wall with his arms beside your head.

"I'm sorry." Tsukishima closed his eyes, balling his fist as he bowed his head. "I said hurtful words to you and no amount of apology will take those away but I want you to know that I regret every single one of it."

You bit your lower lip as you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Do you really think that I'm ugly? I was hurt, Kei. It's just.."

"I'm sorry." His hand made its way to your cheek, cupping your face while he wiped your tears with his thumb. "You're not ugly."

You shook your head and averted your gaze from him, a sob escaping your lips as you felt yourself falling for him deeper. "Don't. Just stop. I'll accept your apology but please just leave me be. I won't be able to stop my feelings for you if you keep leading me on."

"But I don't want you to stop."

"What?"

"I've fallen for you." He tipped your chin up with his hand making you look at him and you were surprised to see the vulnerability in his features. "Please look at me again, y/n. Keep loving me because I swear that I'll do things different this time. Give me a chance."

You can't help but encircle your arms around him, burrying your face on the side of his neck as you nodded repeatedly. "One chance, Kei."

Tsukishima hugged you tightly, lips pressing on the side of your head. "One chance." He leaned away from you and held your face with his hand, eyes boring to yours admiringly.

"You're beautiful."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[miekasa]

do you have any cute (or h-word) bf headcanons for the Aot boys mie?

Of course I do, I have an ever-expanding list of headcanons for all of them, from how they react to you sitting in the backseat when they pick you up, down to whether or not they would rip your bandages off after your get a shot (spoiler: Eren, Porco, and Levi fucking would)

EREN sfw

He really likes holding hands, though it’s more of a calming habit for him. Holding hands keeps him grounded, and acts as an anchor for his anxiety; so he’ll grab and/or fidget with yours periodically.

He’ll steal your skincare if he’s over at your place, but honestly he just starts… copying it lmfao. Like, he’ll take notice of your face wash when he’s over he’s like “Oh, this is nice” and then a week later, he buys a bottle for himself. Then he buys your toner, and your moisturizer, and you stay over at his place and gotta do a double take bc he’s got damn near the same of everything at this point.

He doesn’t know if he believes that classical music actually helps him to concentrate, but he does know that he’s grown to like it, so it’s become his studying music of choice. He’s got favorite composers and everything.

He’d be upset if you didn’t steal his hoodies. That’s what they’re there for. He’ll make you steal them if he has to.

He hates standing in line. For anything. If he likes a restaurant that gets super busy at lunch, he’ll order ahead for pickup (and he feels special skipping the line). At amusement parks, he pays for the fast passes. If it’s shopping, then he’d rather just do it online.

On that note, he sucks at returning things that don’t fit/he doesn’t like when he shops online, so he honestly just keeps them, or gives them to his friends—it’s much easier than going through the hassle of printing a return label, according to him.

nsfw

He likes the idea of recording you guys during sex, but he’s honestly a little too nervous to do it—nervous about being recorded himself, and about it potentially getting out somewhere.

Likes it when you look him in the eyes when you cum. In fact, he somewhat demands it.

Similarly, he’s always watching you during sex. Mostly your face, for indications of how he’s making you feel and when you’re close to your orgasm (which is why he’s got a thing for you looking at him).

He used to hate masturbating, until he tried masturbating to the idea of you, and now he fucking loves that. He takes his time with it too—if he’s gonna jack off, he’s gonna make a moment of it: sit on his bed, turn the lights off, make sure he’s all alone and can go for as long as he wants.

Threesomes are fine with him, and he doesn’t even have to be the sole one in charge, depending on who’s joining you.

ARMIN sfw

He air-dries the majority of his clothes because he doesn’t want his sweaters and knitwear to shrink. Also, he likes the smell of his fabric softener permeating the room while the clothes dry.

On a similar note, he’s got sensitive skin—not to the point where a shirt less than 75% cotton irritates him; but he is conscious of fabrics and products he uses. Because of this, he takes extra care with his laundry, his pillowcases and bedsheets are satin as are the majority of his pajama shirts, and he never ever walks around without house slippers or he’ll irritate the bottom of his feet.

He’s scared of bugs, but he doesn’t like to kill them either. Honestly, he just kinda hopes spiders and stuff will crawl away without him intervening 😭😭

He likes board games, and has a thing for The Game of Life. He cannot play chess, even though most people would guess that he could, and he’s begun to practice by playing online versions against computers to learn.

He knows everyone’s gossip because everyone comes to him to gossip. And if he’s the therapist friend, then you’re the person who receives the summary of all the tea from him at the end of the week. And man can this boy throw a bitch fest when he’s in the right mood.

nsfw

He’s got a bit of an oral fixation, so he really likes having your mouth occupied; with his fingers, with your panties, with his dick—he’s not really picky.

Likes sex with the lights on. Claims it’s because he wants to “see all of you” (it’s really because he’s nervous he’ll fuck something up if he can’t see properly 😭😭)

He really likes making out. Like, a lot. Though it’s not something that happens often—so he builds up a lot of frustrating thinking about it, and it all comes crashing down, and ends up with you guys damn near dry humping each other on the couch for two hours.

That’s something that applies to him generally, too—he tends to let himself get very frustrated and worked up, whether he means to or not. He also thinks about sex quite frequently, and it only fuels his frustration; so when he snaps, he snaps hard.

He’d let you choke him back if you asked. Just ask nicely.

JEAN sfw

Loves studying in cafés and adores when you study with him; peeps up at you periodically when you sit across from him. He always pays for your drink, but sometimes you guys share, and he likes making a game out of reaching for the cup at the same time as you.

He’s very chivalrous, but he hates when you call him out for it, or make any kind of deal of it. He knows it’s chivalry, but he also knows it’s the bare minimum, plus he’s easily embarrassed—especially in public.

Loves having his hair played with, absolutely adores it. If you’re just holding his face, or resting your hand on his cheek, he’ll move himself further into your touch to maneuver your palm closer to his hair.

He really really really likes back hugs—giving and receiving them. If he’s standing behind you, he’ll most likely reach for a hug at some point (sometimes he won’t let go and you’ve gotta waddle with him on you). His ears get red when you give him a back hug but he always uses a hand to rest over your arms to tell you that he doesn’t want you to let go.

He can play the piano, but he doesn’t tell a soul about it. The only reason you found out it through his mom. He’s got stage fright, so he gave up on performing, but he’s really talented, and can almost play any song by ear.

nsfw

He loves the feeling of your hands on him, particularly if you’ve got long nails. Please scrape your nails against his back, or even just dig them into his biceps while he’s fucking you, it’ll drive him insane.

Along with liking having his hair played with, he adores having it pulled on—the attention and desperation in your actions goes straight to his ego and his dick.

One of his biggest fantasies is getting a lap dance from you. He’d never ever fucking say it out loud or dream of asking for it, but the idea of you stripping in front of him, down to lingerie he’d picked out for you, and teasing him until he can’t take it anymore and jumps you is something he thinks about… far more often than he should.

If you’re wearing his clothes (especially one of his t-shirts to bed, or around his apartment), he’s gonna fuck you in it. Jean has a lot of self control, but that’s one thing that’ll make him snap in an instant. And if you wear his shirt or hoodie out, he’s fucking you when you get home, it’s as simple as that.

CONNIE sfw

He studies with children’s shows playing the background. He doesn’t remember how he discovered that his method works for him, all he knows is that something about Paw Patrol makes for excellent background noise for writing his research papers.

He’s quite touchy with PDA, but if you guys are in a crowd then forget about it—because Connie might forget about you. He’s definitely left you at the grocery store before.

He eats cereal for breakfast every morning, and he’s kind of got a collection of them in his kitchen. He claims there are upscale cereals that he doesn’t just let anybody eat or even touch; so, if he offers you a midnight snack consisting of a bowl of his favorite (and very rare) cereal, then be honored.

He almost always pays with cash, but he hates change. If he gets back coins, he either tells the cashier to keep them, puts them in a tip jar if there’s one in sight, or just pours them into your coat pocket. He understands that its money, but he’ll be damned if he’s just got a sack full of nickels clanging around in his bag.

nsfw

He claims he doesn’t have a thing for exhibitionism, but with the way he’s down to fuck damn near anywhere, he might be a bold faced liar. Changing rooms, music festivals, airport bathrooms, the little corner of the multilevel parking lot that he’s oh-so-certain is in the blindspot of the security cameras... there are so few things off-limits with him.

Car sex on his bucket list… just not in his car lmfao (because trust and believe that’s something that already happens pretty regularly). Maybe his real kink is vandalism and destruction of property.

He is not above begging you to sit on his face. He will get on his knees and pant like a fucking dog for you to do it, he’s so serious. He’ll do it laying down, he’ll do it with you standing up/against a wall, he’ll do it on the couch. Break his neck please he’s fucking asking for it.

He doesn’t mind sharing and he definitely doesn’t mind watching. Honestly, he’d egg you on to kiss someone else at a party, or go as far as to seduce you into seducing someone else just so he can watch it go down.

PORCO sfw

He sends you iMessage games but only the ones he’s good at because he doesn’t like to lose. But also, if he is losing, he doesn’t want you to be supportive about it and tell him “it’s okay uwu” lmfao he wants to either cream you, or have you kick his ass; competition is the name of the game, don’t be soft on him.

He’s a morning person, and he likes going on runs or even just early-morning walks when the weather is nice. He will wake you up occasionally to join him—and if you’re a homebody, you will be joining him. He won’t be responsible for watching you decompose on the couch.

Very picky about his pizza. It’s not a calorie or grease or health thing—he just really fucking likes pizza, and he won’t excuse a bad slice.

Always pulls you closer to him in a crowd or when a group of people are walking by. He doesn’t have to, but he likes to. Tease him about it and he’ll push you right back tho, probably into a shrub if there’s one near by.

nsfw

He’s such a “No, no—answer the call” kind of mf; a sadist, if you will. He lives for torturing and embarrassing you, and that applies to sex, too.

Loves the way his hands look on you, particularly splaying his hand over your stomach when he’s fucking you. Likes the heat of your body against his, when he positions himself just right to feel the outline of his dick against you, and squeezing the sides of your tummy when he gets lost in it.

Loves blowjobs, and loves to cum on you or over your face. His favorite thing tho is pulling away just before he’s about to orgasm, and jacking himself off with your tongue sticking out, ready to swallow.

Okay with threesomes, too; but he wouldn’t like to do much to or with the third person. It’s okay if they touch you—maybe even fuck you, depending on who it is—but he’s not there to get them off.

LEVI

sfw

When he cooks dinner, he always makes sure to make enough for you to have leftovers to take with you for lunch the following day. Especially if it’s a dish you’ve been wanting or try, or specifically asked him to cook.

He’s got a specific tote bag he brings with him to the grocery store/farmer’s market, and separate one for when he’s running other light errands.

He hates soda, not even just because it’s not the healthiest thing to drink—he just doesn’t like the feel of carbonated drinks; the only exception being when they’re mixed with liquor, but even then, it’s not his preference.

After a while, he just starts lying and says you’re married at places where it benefits you both, or to curb a longer conversation about the status of your relationship to people who are inquiring. He thinks it’s fucking weird that marriage is what shuts people up, but if it works, it works; less people prying in your guys’ business.

He likes giving you forehead kisses, and if you do it back, he’ll learn that he doesn’t mind receiving them either.

He’s such a sucker for you rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand when you guys hold hands. He might not act like he notices, but he always does; and somewhat craves little touches like that the longer you guys are together.

nsfw

He would never admit it to anyone, but birthday sex is up there for his favorite kind of sex. He never cared much about his birthday… until he realized he could get that as a gift. He knows it’s not different, but he likes it, nonetheless; one the few times he doesn’t mind having all the attention on him.

King of aftercare, though some of his methods usually lead to another round—in which he teases you for cancelling out his work, when you know he was just as willing and eager.

He likes edging himself and overstimulating you; and with his self-control, that makes for a pretty dangerous combination.

He’s strong and he knows how to use it to his advantage: maneuvering you with a single arm, holding both your wrists above your head with one hand, pushing your head down into the sheets when he’s fucking you from behind.

Sex is one of the few times Levi doesn’t mind making a mess—and in fact, he likes it messy; watching you drip onto the sheets, making you spit on his dick and fucking your face until you drool. He always goes on about how sloppy you are, how you can’t keep anything clean, but he fucking loves it.

[mbti-notes]

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

[headcanonstation]

Phantom Thieves S/O has palace

Ren Amamiya

Breaks his heart to find you have a Palace

Ren figures it out because of how you may have been acting. That or curiously getting to him to put your name in the nav

Apologies in advance, he isn’t gonna be reaching out too often as he’ll be putting way too much focus into preparing to infiltrate 

During this time there will be no Mementos trips 

If he can help it, there won’t be a day they aren’t going in until your Palace is taken down

Though for him personally, he doesn’t care how tired he may be. He is gonna go in

Odds are its getting dealt with in about a day or really close to that

It does kind of scare him on the why you have a Palace

What gets to him is he feels like he should have seen the signs. Feels like that maybe he could have prevented it or at least curb the development of it

Exploring the place is the actual worst to him he isn’t having a very good time

Ren will be kind of more quiet while in the Palace. Looking more focused

But he may be a little more “impatient” as it were

Ren really, really does not like running into your shadow

Has fingers crossed they don’t have to fight your shadow, but if they do he is gonna hate it

Gonna act as more of a support unit if they do have to fight said shadow

Regardless if you know he is a phantom thief or not, he is gonna write the calling card. And he is gonna drop it off to you. {In your mailbox, locker, under your door. Etc. He isn't going to directly hand it to you, again regardless if you know of him being a phantom thief}

Ryuji Sakamoto

The thought never occurs to him, almost believing it be absolutely impossible for you to have one

He is not gonna be the one to put your name in, regardless if he notices you being off your A-game. Someone else is gonna be doing it

Ryuji can’t help but wonder why you have one. Again, he found it be impossible for you to ever have one. So he is pretty curious as to why it happened

Whatever the reason is for the development of the Palace, he swears he is gonna knock it out of the park

He definitely gets impatient during infiltrations and downtimes

Kind of becomes pretty prone to getting into trouble and pushing forward which results in his friends going “oi slow down”

Also becomes a little more impatient 

Unlike Ren, Ryuji becomes more talkative during the exploration. Asking things like if they are closer, if Mona can sense the treasure, where exactly they are, what is the next course of action- you get me

He seems to have an “easier” time powering through any exhaustion he is having and practically demands to be on the frontlines at all times

Makes sure all his hits, hits harder

He has a huge need to know what your treasure is, further adding to his impatience

Will write the calling card, with help from Makoto

If you know he is a phantom thief {yeah,,,,,,"if"}, he hand delivers the card to you

If they have to fight your shadow, Ryuji does okay. He doesn't do the absolute best and his attacks may actually miss a lot

Ann Takamaki

She immediately has a need to know if anyone is connected to you having a Palace

She just wants to talk

Ann is a lot like Ryuji where she did not enter your name in the Nav, not wanting to see an answer at all pop up. The only difference is she knew it could be a possibility. It was not impossible to her if you had one- just unlikely 

Ann can’t help but think about the what if of the thieves finding you in Mementos. Able to stop you there and prevent a Palace from developing further

She just finds herself thinking how she could have helped prevent this, if at all. Playing scenarios in her head of helping you before it got this bad

But this is no time to wonder, this is the time to help you

Inside the Palace, she doesn’t act far too differently. Outside of it though, she becomes kind of pushy to go into the Palace

When it comes to you, she finds herself trying to spend time with you- more than usual

She doesn't like the Mementos trips during the time where you still have a Palace. While it's nice to help other people- you need her help right now

No matter what your Shadow is like, she swears she is gonna take them down

She promises to herself that no matter how much it hurts her, she isn't going to hold back on your shadow. After all, it's not exactly easy to attack something that resembles/represents you

Really would rather not see the calling card at all

Yusuke Kitagawa

His first thoughts are the fears that its alike to Madarame’s

He isn’t sure he can handle that

As such, he is pretty nervous about the whole thing

Upon finding out though its nothing like that, if anything more like Futaba’s, brings him a wave of relief

If he were to be honest, being in your Palace frustrates him

Not only does it frustrate him, but it hurts him. Especially as they go further and further into their exploration

You don’t deserve to have to be dealing with this and the burden this thing probably brings to you

Kind of like Ryuji, he just thought nothing like this would come to pass for you. At least, so as long as he was there with you

During the Palace, he is more reserved

A lot like Ann, he is kind of pushy with going into the Palace. Not nearly as much as Ann, but it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t at all try to push Ren into going in sooner

Seeing your Shadow actually angers him, more than anything. Because this isn’t you, but a distorted version of the person he cares about

But Yusuke remains relatively calm

During downtimes while they aren’t in the Palace, he will be trying to seek you out and keep you company- regardless if you know what is going on

Insists to be the one to write the calling card, there are no exceptions 

I would argue he is one of the more aggressive thieves when it comes to fighting your shadow. He holds absolutely nothing back and is ready to fight

This isn’t you and he wants to get rid of your shadow as fast as possible

Makoto Niijima

She audibly gasps

However, she can’t bring herself to bring it up for a short bit. Its not that she doesn’t want to, but it becomes more real whenever it is she mentions it

She ends up bringing it up after seeing you again and again. Knowing the toll a Palace can take on a person, she knows she can’t just ignore it

Part of her wonders if she is any part of the cause. She hopes not, but it worries her that what if she plays a part in your Palace

She tries to remain composed both in and out of the Palace, trying not to show any signs of struggling with the idea of it

When around you, she gets kind of awkward 

She’ll promise to you that she will be there for you, through thick and thin. Which to you may come out of nowhere, but Makoto feels a need to say it

Its when Makoto sees your shadow that it really, really hits her about the situation

Still, she tries to remain composed but internally she is just having a marathon if emotions

Makoto helps in creating the calling card and will hand it off to you should you know of her being a phantom thief

If not she will put it in a normal envelope and give it to you, saying simply it was addressed to you and not much else

Maybe even sneak it into a book your reading or in your locker

Fighting your shadow at first will have her be a deer in the headlights, but her friends will snap her out of it

Which will help her find new strength when it comes to taking down your shadow

Futaba Sakura

Curiosity kills the cat, and it killed Futaba upon entering your name in the nav

She figured if anything popped up, it would be just be a Mementos trip. Not something as extreme as a Palace

Her first thought was how long have you had this?

Futaba first brings it up to Ren before anyone else

She knows this is more of a personal Palace to take care of, but they have to help you

She had one of these things and she’ll be damned if she lets this go ignored

Futaba admittedly would rather it just be her and Ren, again seeing as this is more personal. However, this is a little more extreme than a simple field trip to Mementos, so that isn’t a viable option

Her nature ends up very serious, focused and a little hurt. She won't have snarky comments to hand out. She won’t really have any upbeat cheer in her voice either

Futaba is going to be going overdrive to help the thieves get rid of the Palace faster

Will be more subtle in pushing the idea of going into the Palace during downtimes. She isn’t going to be aggressive in it, more so just making it clear she would really like to get back in asap

She wishes she could do more while they are exploring the place

During time outside the Palace she will be in constant contact with you. Asking if your okay, if anything happened, if you need to talk, etc

Seeing your shadow will kind of have her wince, but outside of that it only fuels her further to steal your treasure

She doesn’t do anything when it comes to the calling card. She just demands to see it before it sent to you

Haru Okumura

She’s ready to go guns blazing just say the word

Haru would probably be the most worried when it came to the whole Palace infiltration

After all, last time they did this with someone she cared about they kinda died

So yeah she is a little on edge on the that “what if” even though she knows it wasn’t their fault

Regardless of her unease though, she’ll put her best face forward and try to remain optimistic 

There may be times during the Palace where she lets her emotions get to her

At first she was worried of what your Palace was and why it even existed. You weren’t a bad person,  so why in the world do you have one of these?

Honestly, overall you could be forgiven thinking she wasn’t too anxious about the whole thing. Because on the outside she doesn’t seem too bothered, but trust me she is having a time internally

She vows to herself they are going to take care of this for you and she is not going to let anything bad happen to you from this infiltration. She swears it

Seeing your shadow doesn’t seem to do anything to her, if anything it prompts her to try and further figure out the why question

Haru requests if she can give you the card, especially if you know she is a thief. Regardless, she promises things will work out

She is merciless when it comes to fighting your shadow? Way more than what anyone was expecting from her?

[snarkywrites]

October Horoscopes: Diplomatic Territory

A big month for Cardinal signs as many planets are going direct. On the 6th of October, two major transits are going to rock their world; both the New Moon in Libra and Pluto stationing direct will happen on this day. This is an energy that will have us all battling with power and authority, but the New Moon in Libra will have us opting to be more diplomatic to climb the professional ladder with grace. The people we meet during this time can inspire and motivate us to do more if we are not content. Venus enters fiery Sagittarius on the 7th, bringing a burst of energy into our lives to spice things up. Saturn will be direct on the 10th, and Fixed Signs are going to feel like the marathon race is almost over. Things become clearer as Saturn teaches us all to restructure to prosper. On the 18th, Jupiter and Mercury are going direct and this will initiate a new chapter. Jupiter will be in Aquarius for a few more months before we experience the Pisces period once more. When the Full Moon in Aries graces us on the 20th, it will be a good and meaningful way to close a cycle that we initiated 6 months ago. Think about what projects you started then and how they are now. Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd. Powerful Mars will enter Scorpio on the 30th and this transit is going to serve as a wakeup call for many of us. Mars is finally in its domicile, allowing us to act and fight for our place without fears. The only drawback will be the Square this planet will face with Saturn and Jupiter. We can also feel frustration once this planet opposed Uranus. Either way, it kicks off a time where we start to move ahead confidently.

 Aries – The month begins with the New Moon in Libra on the 6th making you consider your status in the world and how others view you. Mercury is currently retrograde so you can expect a blast from the past regarding relationships. One of the more important transits is Pluto finally going direct on the 6th. This can be a time of restructuring your views in your organization. The dynamics you have with bosses now can be significant and anything you have been questioning will come to light now. Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, a good boost to your confidence with this transit and the perfect time to begin reflecting on where you see yourself in the next few years. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th is going to make you prioritize yourself and needs since it’s in your sign. Your ego takes center stage as well as the direction you have carefully thought of. Your ruler, Mars will enter Scorpio on the 30th allowing you to ask questions and face any fears you have.

Taurus – Your ruler, Venus opens the month with a New Moon in Libra on the 6th, a reminder to switch up your routines if things are not working the way you expect them to. Pluto is going direct on the same day and this transit has contributed to your own spiritual growth. See where you are now and compare it to where you were in April of this year. A transit that will have a great impact for you is Saturn finally going direct on the 10th stimulating some new events for your career or educational life. You will find completing tasks now is not as frustrating since Jupiter will be direct on the 18th. Expect superiors to take notice of the work you have put into your projects. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd, a new time to focus on relationships for the next month. Mars enters Scorpio on the 30th; try not to lose your cool with your romantic partners or friends.

Gemini – You will be thankful for the New Moon in Libra on the 6th, opportunities arise that are going to make you more creative and emotionally aware of what you seek in relationships. Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, another influence on romance and self-discovery. You can meet new people or strengthen the bonds of your current relationships. Saturn goes direct on the 10th, bringing more confidence with your ideologies during this time. Matters relating to research become easier to manage especially once Jupiter goes direct on the 18th. Mercury also goes direct on the same day, and you will be appreciative that the retrograde comes to a close, even if you might be surrounded by much excitement. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th, will allow you to reconnect with friends and to end some close friendships that are no longer serving you.

Cancer – Focus on your inner world and how to make it livelier with the New Moon in Libra on the 6th. You will have plenty of opportunities to initiate new projects that are going to impact your career in the next six months, just wait for Mercury to go direct. On the 6th, Pluto is also going direct and any tensions you have felt with your relationships will be healed, for now. Communicating your needs to people will allow you to move forward and let go of any grudges. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th sets the stage for your career goals and the accomplishments you have done all year long. Expect to receive recognition and honors, as bosses or professors congratulate you for a job well done. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd, initiating a month of excitement and joy. Confidence levels rise for you, and it will be noticeable in your relationships. Mars enters Scorpio on the 30th, another big transit that will keep you focused and energized if you needed the boost.

Leo – Communication takes a big role this month. Venus will enter Sagittarius on the 7th, a great time to feel radiant and adventurous. As a fire sign, this transit will rock your world for the next month. On the 10th, Saturn will go direct, and this proves to be a positive time with partners and friends. You can have better communication and with Jupiter going direct on the 18th, you will feel a lot more willing to bond and spend more time together with those you love. Mercury will be direct on the 18th; this transit will allow you to finalize whatever projects you needed to rework, and you can bring more powerful expression to your communication. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th is a time filled with nostalgia and analyzing where you were six months ago. Now is the time to compare if you are on your designated path or if you need to make changes. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd, shifting the focus to the home front. Mars enters Scorpio on the 30th, a time where you might even consider some new renovations. If you feel anger levels rising, focus on an activity that brings you peace.

Virgo – Who you are will come to light this month. The New Moon in Libra on the 6th will be a good period to initiate a cycle regarding enforcing your sense of confidence and independence. Another good transit for self-empowerment is Pluto going direct on that same day. You know what you want in relationships and will not be afraid to go after it. Tensions at work begin to ease with Saturn going direct on the 10th and Jupiter following suit on the 18th. You can feel like you can breathe just a little bit now as things cool off and you are able to outshine and outperform colleagues. Need some excitement in your life? Well, good thing that the Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd and Mars enters the same sign on the 30th. These transits are going to have people reach out and you can expect to have the support you need from friends.

Libra – Power struggles begin to ease for you this month. Things kick off with the New Moon in your sign on the 6th and Pluto going direct on the same day. Prioritize yourself, learn your surroundings and make sure to be on friendly terms with authority figures during this time. Things begin to feel a lot more doable, and your confidence levels build thanks to Mars currently in your sign. Saturn goes direct on the 10th, so if you have felt a little bored, you can expect your social life to pick up, thanks to Jupiter also going direct on the 18th. On that same day, Mercury is also direct, so the frustrating periods you have experienced in the last three weeks will conclude. Communicating with others begins to get easier. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th will expand on your relationships once more, as you consider having deeper conversations with friends or partners to clear the air and move forward. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd and Mars enters Scorpio on the 30th. These are both positive transits for you since you are going to be focused on your earning abilities. Just make sure not to go overboard with the spending and to remember to have some fun when you feel burnt out from all your responsibilities.

Scorpio – This month is going to focus on you and the path you are going to want for the future. October 6th will have the New Moon in Libra and it will have you diving into your psyche to find some answers for the next six months. You are in for a ride, especially with Pluto, your ruler also going direct on the 6th which will empower you to be more focused and driven regarding career goals. Saturn will be direct on the 10th, which can have some matters relating to home be resolved. If you were planning on making a move, this time around it might be easier. Jupiter will also be direct beginning on the 18th, a great time to set your sights on expanding a new room at your home or welcoming some family members. During this time, you can be more social and welcoming. Full Moon in Aries on the 20th can bring you magic and new perspectives that will make work or school easier to handle. We welcome Scorpio season on the 23rd, a good time to focus more on yourself for the next month and to treat yourself. Mars, also enters your sign on the 30th, if you have lacked focus and motivation, you can see things move in a new direction.

Sagittarius – Friendships take center stage this month, especially with the New Moon in Libra on the 6th, showing you that there is power in reconciliation. Pluto goes direct on the same day, and this transit shows where you need to be more patient with yourself. Don’t let the frustrating periods get to you but learn to work with obstacles in a constructive way. Venus enters your sign on the 7th, a time where you can feel radiant, confident, and empowered. This time around, you will notice your magnetism impact others. Saturn goes direct on the 10th, a time where you can also appreciate just how much you have grown regarding your connections with others. You have matured a lot and others will begin to take notice. Jupiter goes direct on the 18th; a period of growth and expansion begins now until the end of the year. If you needed to edit a project, now is your time to do it. Jupiter provides guidance and insight. Mercury will go direct on the 18th, so you can utilize this transit to clear the air of there have been tensions in your social circles. The Full Moon in Aries will be on the 20th, a time where you reflect more on relationships and friendships.

Capricorn – Kick off some major changes this October with the New Moon in Libra on the 6th and Pluto going direct on the same day. Ask yourself if you are where you have envisioned and if you aren’t, the New Moon will allow you to initiate a new game plan. Saturn, your ruler, will be direct beginning on the 10th, showing you the results of being patient and responsible regarding your spending habits. Jupiter will be direct on the 18th, providing you with a little relief, if you felt like the expenses were beginning to pile on up. A major transit that has been causing some mayhem is Mercury Retrograde which will be over on the 18th. You can get back to business and with a fresh perspective. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th brings your focus back to home. Are you balancing work with down time? Or are you overworking yourself? The Full Moon allows you to have some time to yourself.

Aquarius – We are all looking forward to the New Moon in Libra on the 6th, which will have a positive impact on your sign. You can feel a lot more optimistic about the months ahead, as this transit equips you with knowledge and personal growth for the next six months. Pluto also goes direct on the same day, and you can finally move on from a memory that had some hold on you. Time to move ahead with Saturn going direct on the 10th, bringing you more lessons to learn and more self-evolution. On the 18th, Jupiter will also go direct, supplying you with more of that confidence and positive energy that the New Moon has given you. You can finally get back to work on your plans when Mercury goes direct on the 18th, a period where you can start new projects. On the 20th, the Full Moon in Aries will bring you more perspective to what those plans and projects should be. As the Sun moves into the sign of Scorpio on the 23rd, you prepare for new things to come in your career for the next month. Mars also enters Scorpio on the 30th, adding ambition and drive to your career as well.

Pisces – One of the challenges for you this month will be the New Moon in Libra on the 6th. It can feel rough at first, but this transit is about moving on and facing your fears with strength and courage in yourself. Pluto goes direct on the same day, so you will see more fluctuations in your inner circle. A transit that you will look forward to is Venus in Sagittarius, which is going to make you step your game up regarding your career. Set your sights high because you will have everyone’s favor around this time. Saturn goes Direct on the 10th, providing you clarity and fortitude to heal emotionally. Jupiter direct on the 18th, will bring spiritual healing and inner trust. Mercury goes direct on the 18th, a good time to handle debts and read up on ways to save financially. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th, will carry some of those themes from the Mercury retrograde, save and don’t spend as much. Sun entering the fellow Water sign Scorpio on the 23rd, a month-long transit that is going to bring new perspectives, empowerment, and courage. Mars follows the Sun on the 30th, also in the sign of Scorpio, building your courage and allowing you to prosper even when you might feel your weakest.

[ac3id]

Plaything | 18+ | part i

plaything 1/ ?? | part 0

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 1: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation, masturbation, filming w/o consent, boot grinding, a little bit of bakusquad + reader....this is filthy :D 

summary: by luck you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt and powerful brats who just seem to hate you and among them, a certain red eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 1: you bump into bakugou by accident, dropping your vanilla ice cream all over him, you try to apologize and run away but wants more...oh wait why are his friends standing there recording everything too? 

wordcount. 4k+

a/n: sooooo, it’s finally out! huge thanks to @sawamooora for proof reading this! helped me out a lot <3 sorry for making u sit through that mess x[

 this scene was inspired by that one episode of boys over flowers where the mc’s best friend drops ice cream on the main guy’s shoe and he asks the mc to lick it off...obviously that didn’t happen in the show but it really got me thinking...... 

alsO the netflix show elite,,, i just saw it and knew,,,,

taglist: @mocha-focha​, @erenyeagersbasement​ , @haribo-pop, @sunshine-fangs​, @kuremis​, @amazing-fandoms​,

dm/ inbox/ comment to be added/ removed. 

—navigation

It was a great opportunity. Never in your life would you have thought you’d manage to land a scholarship at the prestigious U.A Private Academy. 

The school was a dream, the best in your city, and only affordable for the rich. Graduating from such a school could have helped you with life in so many different ways. Not only would it open doors you could never touch before, but it would help you to form connections which would make your life undoubtedly easier.

Graduating from U.A. was a blessing, but obviously, it did not come easy. It was rather unfortunate. After your previous school building had collapsed, due to some accident, the board announced its year-long closure.

At the time, you were beyond lost and understandably frustrated - it was your last year before college and you simply couldn't risk waiting the year out. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, looking for decent schools which would allow you in. 

Honestly, you had no idea what you would’ve done if U.A. hadn’t called you that night. 

It was the last day of the summer holidays, a week after your school building had collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt - but the damage on the campus was severe. 

You had been talking to your friends when your mother rushed into your room with exciting news. Apparently, the chairman of U.A was feeling generous. He had decided to offer four excellent students from your school a scholarship to U.A. 

You were overjoyed being one of the students along with your two other friends; Shinso Hitoshi and Izuku Midoriya. 

At first, the thought was a little scary - going into a completely different world than you were accustomed to. The kids there would be much different than you, you didn't want to be the   laughing stock, you didn’t want to be their silly little entertainment... The thought made you nervous, but when your best friend, Izuku, called you the next night explaining how he also won the scholarship; followed by Shinso, you were relieved. 

Yes, you were stepping into a whole different world but you at least had your two friends with you. 

And that brought you to the first day of school. 

You stood outside the huge gates of the even enormous academy all alone shaking in your little, expensive skirt they forced you to wear as the uniform waiting for your friends. You promised the two boys you’d wait for them, and besides, you weren’t planning on entering the building all alone. 

Your friends, Shinso and Midoriya, lived close to each other. They were supposed to meet you at the gates of the school that morning, but they were running late. Your anxiety grew the longer you stayed there, with students filling the place- arriving in their fancy cars with their expensive bags and accessories. It easily made you feel out of place.

“Hey,” you heard someone before someone tapped on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to greet the voice. Staring back at you was Uraraka Ochaco.

You remembered she was in your school too, Midoriya has a huge crush on her. 

“Yes, Uraraka? Right?” You weren’t close to her, nothing but mere acquaintances. But seeing her face - right here, right now - it made your day. 

Uraraka was dressed in the same uniform as you, there was no doubt that she was one of the four kids who won the scholarship. Both of you talked while you implored her to wait for Midoriya and Shinso. You didn’t fail to notice the way her cheeks turned pink when you mentioned Midoriya. The two of them were so obvious. 

Your friends arrived, they were late, but they came. 

Apparently, there was an accident that forced them to stay back a little longer, but they managed to make it before the first bell. 

“I actually have an old friend who goes there now,” Midoriya confesses out of the blue as the four of you enter the gates. You look at him in awe. 

During the three years in high school that both of you had spent together, he had never mentioned any friend of his going to the U.A. academy ever. 

“Why did you never tell us?” Uraraka asks. 

“well, we’re not on good terms. He used to live in the same neighborhood before his parent’s business took off. He left after middle school.” Midoriya says, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Who is he?” Shinso asks. 

Midoriya pauses briefly before explaining his entire history with a temperamental and rude blonde. Bakugou Katsuki, he calls him. His childhood friend. But from what you managed to gather, Bakugou was anything but a friend to Midoriya. 

Bakugo was once just a simple boy, living a simple life, destined to do great things - but once his parent’s clothing line ‘Dynamite’ blew up and became mainstream, he started drowning in wealth. Bakugo moved out of his old neighborhood at the starting of high school before enrolling in U.A., just like all his rich friends.

“Maybe you should say hi,” Uraraka suggests. Midoriya’s expressions turned sheepish.

“About that…” he started. “I called him yesterday, got his number from mom, and-” he stopped. 

“What did he say?” Shinso asked.

“He told me to get lost and die,” Midoriya said with a slight frown on his face, looking down. 

That was your first impression of Katsuki Bakugou. For a man you had not even met, you sure loathed him. 

School went smoothly for a week, everything was going great. The four of you kept your profile low, didn’t talk until spoken to, kept your distance, and everything was okay. 

People often starred and whispered amongst each other when they saw you in the hallways, but that was about it. Everyone seemed to be decent but… there’s always a but. 

Everything took a turn for the worse when you managed to piss off the wrong person, Bakugo Katsuki himself. 

It was an honest mistake, not even that big of a deal - especially for his standards Yet, for some reason, Bakugo wanted to get under your skin. 

It happened after your lunch break, you were on your way back to your classroom with an ice-cream cone fasted tightly in your hands. You mindlessly dashed through the hallways, trying your best to get back to class as fast as possible - you don’t want to be late. It’d earn you a bad reputation. You don’t need that- you don't want anything which could jeopardize your scholarship. 

You walked straight and took a turn. Just by fate, you bumped into a stiff, hard chest making you wobble on your feet and sending your ice cream from your hand flying straight to the ground.

“Shit,” you cursed, looking down seeing what you had to work with. 

The ice-cream cone splattered on the floor, the white creamy liquid flushed all over the floor along with staining an expensive-looking, black leather boot. A snarl comes from above you along with a group of chuckles. More expensive shoes come into your line of view as you realize you’re not alone. 

You slowly bring your gaze up, ogling at who you just pissed off. 

Staring back at you is a furious blonde, glaring at you with such intensity that it makes your stomach drop. It’s the infamous Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t want to deal with him. 

-

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you don’t give him a chance to complain as you take your flight. Quickly, you try running away but a large hand grabs your forearm, stopping you dead in your tracks. 

You look to the side, deep red eyes stare right back at you. 

“Where are you running off to? Don’t you think you owe my friend here a proper apology?” Kirishima says, his grip on your arm growing tighter. He towers over you, his huge body trapping you with intimidation.

Going to U.A for over a week there’s a thing or two that you’ve learned about the rich, snobby brats who own the school. Not everyone is bad, a few of them are actually but the rest are just bad. 

Bakugou was the worst. From how Midoriya described him, you knew for a fact he’d be a horrible person. But hell, he managed to prove himself even worse. 

He was crude, mean, downright arrogant, and ignorant. Always screaming unasked opinions on top of his lungs, and gets mad whenever someone disagrees. He acts like the world revolves around him.

 Bakugo had a bunch of friends who he called his “followers” and they weren’t any better.

They just watched while Bakugou ruined everything, they were there to support him. 

Kirishima Eijirou the redhead, he was captain of the football team. He was a jock, brawns over brains kind of person. Girls cooed over him and his overly attractive, hot body. It looked as if he was sculpted by God himself. 

Next was Kaminari Denki. He was in the school band, dating the lead singer. And yet, he managed to find time to flirt with other girls. He was the goofball of the group, dumb and stupid But he always knew what he was doing. Even though it was barely noticeable, you could always see a devious glint in those amber eyes of his. 

Sero Hanta was famous for a lot of reasons. Most notably for having brought illegal drugs on the campus and skipping classes to go down to his junkie hangout spot to smoke weed. The man had no shame. Sometimes, he’d walk into the classrooms high as fuck. The teachers couldn’t do anything even if they tried, his parents practically owned the school; he owned the school. There was no going against the tall, lanky man who looked like he couldn’t even smash a bug. He held the most power and his friends sure knew how to abuse it. 

Last but not least was Mina Ashido. The one and only girl member of the self-proclaimed ‘bakusquad’. Sometimes, Jirou Kyouka, the lead singer of the school, would hang out with the boys and her boyfriend, but she wasn’t a permanent member. Mina was. 

In your opinion, Mina was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. With her short, pink hair and bright smile, she seemed like an angel. But she was the devil. Worse than even Bakugou, perhaps. 

She knew everything about everyone, she had leverage galore: screenshots ready to leak, videos ready to ruin lives. She had them all, and frankly- she scared you the most. 

Kirishima pushed you back, and Bakugo caught you by your shoulders. 

“That was fucking rude,” he growled, biting his fingers into your shoulder blades tight and hard making you squeal. “Are you fucking blind or something? Fucking extra.” 

“I said I’m sorry, let me go will you?” Even in such a terrifying situation, you try to remain calm.

“What do you think, Sero?” Kaminari began. Your heart sank, including Sero into anything was never a good sign. 

“She ruined Bakugou’s new shoes,” he continued. Bakugou’s hold on you tightened and you winced, turning back to him and returning his glare. 

“Okay, what do you want?” you give in, finally. A mischievous spark lights up in his crimson eyes as flashes a cocky smirk to his friends before turning back to you with a frown. He pushes you towards Mina and she catches you with an arm around your shoulder. 

“Those were expensive, right?” she looks at you and then back at Bakugou. He grunts, nodding. 

“Fuck yes, I’m pissed as hell. Some fucking extra managed to ruin it.” 

You look back down to steal a glance at his heavy, leather boot. The small, white stain melted away. 

“What will you do to make up for it?” Mina whispers your name and you cringe. They were teasing you. For their fun, they were making fun of you. 

“What can I do?” you say, sarcastically. Prying yourself away from her hold. The crowd goes dead silent before speaking. Sero is the first one to talk. 

“Lick it off.”

There’s a pause, no one speaks. Your stomach drops and your face pales at the look the five of them are giving you- it’s serious. Dead serious. 

Kaminari bursts out laughing followed by Sero and the others. The four of them get a great laugh but Bakugou stares at you head-on with his grave expressions burning through your soul. 

“Whatcha looking at? Do it,” he commands. 

The laughing dies down and Kaminari speaks, “are you serious? You want her to lick your shoe,” he can’t control his laughter, a chuckle breaks with every word. 

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. Besides, Sero recommended it,” he smirks. “Do you really want to say no to him? I don’t know so much about this but-“ he leans down close to your face, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, “it might complicate your scholarship.” 

There’s a twisted rhythm in his voice. He’s enjoying tormenting you. You still want to believe that they’re just messing around. That they’ll have their laughs and let you go, but the way Sero stares at you says otherwise. 

“You don’t wanna do it?” Bakugou asks. 

“Of course she doesn’t! That’s gross, oh my god.” Mina exclaims, earning a chuckle from the rest of the boys. 

“Hey, let’s hear it from Sero himself.” Kirishima pats Sero’s back, pushing him forward. The five of them have circled around you, coiling you inside their venomous nest with you in the center. You turn to Sero with pleading eyes, looking up at his huge form, begging. 

He smirks looking down at you, you look so tiny beneath bim. He wants to mess with you, even more, you look like a nice toy to him. He wants to play with it until he can’t. 

“I guess, I did say that-” your blood runs cold, heartbeat picking up in nervousness. “-but you don’t need to do it.” He finishes. Your face lights up while the others groan in disappointment. Bakugou looks livid. 

“Just know that, you’re the one who dropped the ice cream on Bakugou’s shoe and now you’re not even helping him out. That’s not very noble, is it? I don’t know if I even by mistake slipped that info back home- my parents might reconsider whether you truly deserve to be here or not. They don’t really like disrespectful kids who comprise the school’s name.” 

Sero ends his speech with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, followed by a pat to your head. 

“The choice is yours.”  

You pause for a moment and think. Where they were really going to make you do it, where they were really going to humiliate you like this. They were. But were you willing to do it? 

From Sero’s threat, you could tell he was serious, this was legit. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time the school expelled someone who had beef with Sero, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They don’t care about anyone but their loving son. They wouldn’t even think once before expelling you.

“What’s your answer, princess?” Kirishima teases.

 Mina and Kaminari once again break into fits of laughter.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t have a choice here, kneel you extra.” Your heart hammers in your chest as Bakugou gestures you to kneel. You stop for a second, breathing unevenly- thinking. After a long, thoughtful sigh, you answer. 

“No, I am not going to do it.” Your voice is meek yet clear. Even though you’re trembling under the heavy gazes of five snakes, you choose to stand your ground. 

Bakugou glaring at you while the others boo. 

“Aw, c’mon you don’t mean that.” 

“Don’t be a little brat.” 

Bakugou stays silent while the others continue to throw insults at you -  calling you names and trying to make you regret your decision. You look straight forward into Bakugou’s cold, red eyes, searching for his next move. Your heart beats even harder in your chest with increased anxiety. After watching your torment for more than a few minutes, Bakugo decides he’s had enough of this game.

“Hey, shitty hair,” Bakugo starts. “Punch me.” 

“What?” Kirishima asks, vividly shaken. “Why do you want me to hit you, Bakubro?” 

“Punch me real hard, give me a black eye.” The confusion grows greater on everyone’s faces. You stare at him in awe, wondering what angle was trying to play. 

Kirishima raises his hands in defense. “Woah, dude slow down there. I’m not just going to punch you.” 

Bakugou clicks the roof of his tongue, letting out a sound of irritation. “You all are just dumb,” he starts.

“Imagine if this punny, little,” he leans down closer to you till his lips touch your ears and whispers your name with a crude chuckle. “Were to drop all her food over me, not apologize, punch and me then run away, that’d bring her into a whole world of trouble. Wouldn’t it?” 

Bakugo’s words are calculated and sly, he knows exactly what he’s getting at when he starts. His voice fills you up with dread as he makes his accusations public.

“She would be expelled on spot and Kacchan could also raise charges,” Kaminari adds. 

Your eyes widen in fear. 

“Yeah, I’ll fucking do that.” Mina giggles. “That would succck,” she cheers. Your lower lip quivers as you stare at them in disbelief, your eyes open wide only to be covered with fear. 

“Hey, c’mon, why are you doing this to me?” You feel them inch closer to you, their warmth leeching onto you the longer you stay surrounded by them. 

“Because you have no fucking manners.” Bakugou snarls. 

“Kiri, punch him. What are you waiting for? If you don’t wanna do it I will!” Kaminari cries, growing impatient. 

Kirishima laughs before he charges Bakugou. Your heart hammers in your chest. 

You think about your family, your future, and how disappointed everyone would be with you. Your dreams and aspirations, all were rooted in this school. 

It was honestly sad, pathetic even. Your entire future was just a joke to these spoiled kids. These kids who could control you, and everyone else,  with just a flick of their fingers. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the price to pay for a piece of the beautiful cake known as U.A... You resign yourself to your fate.

A piece of your mind. 

“N-no, don’t do that. I-I’ll do it,” you murmured, your voice timid and weak. The five paused looking at each other with an ominous glint in their eyes. Bakugou was the first to speak. 

“Well, then fucking get on with it. On your knees.” Obediently like a trained puppy, you got down onto your knees, not letting your eyes fall from Bakugou’s face. His red, fierce eyes barked at you with an unknown look, keeping you lost. 

“Holy shit, she’s actually doing this,” Mina squealed watching you lean forward, bringing your face next to Bakugou’s expensive boots.

“Kaminari, record this.” Sero taps at the energetic blonde, forcing him to take his phone out and hit ‘record’. As you lean further to the ground, your short skirt rides up behind you, giving the audience a clear view of your round ass and pastel panties. The sight brings a smile to Bakugou’s face as he scoffs. 

“Cute panties,” he remarks. 

You jerk, trying desperately to sit back, but Bakugo stops you. Smashing his other foot on top of your shoulder, he holds you there facing the ground.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” he growls.

You squirm, almost falling under his weight and as much you hate to admit it, a tingle of excitement runs down your spine. This was turning you on.

 A row of whistles flood in, the boys start teasing you and praising Bakugou. 

“Lick it off,”  he commands. 

You look down at his leather boot, the ice cream almost melted. There’s still a bright white spot of the sweet now liquid splayed out. Even though it’s not a lot, it still makes you cringe. You peek your shy, little tongue out timidly, forcing yourself to do the heinous deed. 

Bakugou watches you hesitate and pushes on your shoulder harder making you reach towards him. 

You give in after a final attempt, diving into his wishes. Your wet tongue touches the rough, cold leather. You cringe after a single touch, closing your eyes and scrunching your nose at the salty taste. “Clean it all off,” he commands.

You dive back in, this time letting your tongue glide across a larger portion. The humiliation burns through your body. It makes you uncomfortably hot, mostly from anger and but a little bit of arousal.

“Nice ass.” 

There it is. The excitement comes back the moment they start making suggestive comments, the attention riles you up and it’s horrible. 

“Kaminari are you even supposed to be here? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mina asks at the blonde pervert who was currently zooming on your ass. 

“Oh? We’re cool as long as I don’t stick my dick her,” he points to you. “That’s hella fucking tempting but I’m in love, dude.” He chuckles to himself, thinking about his girlfriend. 

They treat you like an object, talking about you like you were some sort of a toy. 

“Bet her pussy is tight,” Sero says. 

Kirishima turns to Bakugou, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Yo, Bakubro, can we touch her?” 

Bakugou looks on from watching you lick his boot and turns to Kirishima. A dark, unsettling gaze falls across his eyes as he speaks, “No. This one is mine.” he stares down at you. 

You stop lapping on his shoe and stand back on your knees, buckling your knees you try to get up but Bakugou harshly kicks your shoulder, throwing you back and making you cry. 

“Why did you do that?” you squeal, holding onto your bruised shoulder, glaring at him intently. 

The rest of the group goes quiet at the display of Bakugou’s sudden violence. 

He stands between your thighs, lazily resting his foot atop of your soft thighs. 

“You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” the angle you were spread out in had your skirt flipped over hips, displaying your pretty, pastel panties to everyone in the room. 

Even though it’s subtle, masked by everyone’s fear of what Bakugou was planning, you still feel everyone’s gaze focused right on you and more specifically at your clothed cunt. Bakugou presses hard on your thigh making you cry. 

“Useless Deku’s friends are just like him. The fucking second you walked in here, I knew you were just another useless insect for me to stomp on.” He pauses, smirking, pressing his foot onto you even harder, twisting his ankle to increase the burning sting surging across your right thigh. “And I’m doing just that.” 

He steps off you for a moment, letting you catch your breath and recover from the burn. His eyesight travels lower down to your panties. He admires the cute pair you had on. Normally when he’d see girls naked, they’d dress themselves up the most luxurious to match his standards. But that’s not you, that could never be you. 

He rejoices at the thought of seeing your flushed, tear-stained face breaking down under him. You’ll never be like those girls, always a step behind. He can build you up and break you however he likes, you’d have no say in it. 

The power trip drives him crazy. 

He presses the tip of his boot over your clothed clothed cunt, pushing the hard material right over your sensitive clit. 

You gasp at the feeling, looking up at him with terrified eyes. He smirks down at you, moving his foot in a steady rhythm, rubbing the fabric of your cotton panties against your little pearl. 

“This turning you on? What a freak.” The rest of his group basks in shock. They watch intently as the scene spiraled out for them, too captivated to make any comments. They just keep quiet and stare. 

The way you squirm under Bakugou as he plays with your cute clit so unforgivingly makes them hot with excitement. Kaminari feels a little guilty but he blames it on his nature as a man.

Sero feels a little bad for you, they all do. But then again they wouldn’t waste the opportunity to be in Bakugou’s footsteps- literally. 

“You’re a little slut, you know that?” Bakugou sneers. 

Your gasps turn into whimpers as his simulation becomes harder. You clench your fists, desperately wishing it to be over. Tears brim in your eyes at the sheer humiliation of your corrupted form. This was just too much, too much for you to handle. 

“Please, stop,” you beg, knowing he wouldn't listen. “I’ll report you,” you cry.  A roar of laughter starts, shutting you up. 

“Go for it, you do that.” Mina comments. Kaminari walks closer to you, bringing the camera down to your face recording your horrified expressions. 

“We’ll just go ahead and post this online.” he threatens. 

A drop of tear falls down your waterline following a waterfall. You cry, leave all of your dignity behind and cry. You beg them to stop but as your pleas mix with your moans, it’s hard for anyone to understand what you’re saying. It’s not like they don’t know what you’re asking them for, they just turn deaf, simply because they can. 

Bakugou stops, he takes a step back, leaving you alone. You let out the tiniest cry when he leaves, ditching you just when you need his touch the most. 

“Feels like I’m doing too much of the work, if you want it so bad, do this yourself.” He says. Your body still burns with desire, your clit still hard and cunt salivating, you are nowhere close to being done... 

It’s as if something takes over and you are possessed by the dire need to cum, you do exactly as he says. 

You snake your fingers down your panties, deliberately rubbing on your swollen little clit before pushing your finger into your drenched cunt. You cry out as you clench around your finger, the pleasure becoming unbearable. Your legs shake and you close your eyes shut. 

You stay there on the floor, fingering yourself in the corridor, without any shame, while Kaminari records all of it. 

“She’s gonna give me a hard-on,” Kirishima says and you moan.

“She really is a slut, huh?” Sero comments. 

“She’s cute,” Mina adds with a smile. 

Bakugou scoffs, “does Deku know how much of a whore you are?” He asks. 

You don’t pay any attention to what he says, too busy bringing yourself to your climax.

“You’re getting all this right?” Mina looks over Kaminari’s shoulder and onto the phone screen which captures you beautifully losing yourself for everyone to see. 

“You close?” Bakugou asks as you feel yourself clench around fingers tightly, he bends down on his and pulls your panties down your hips, admiring your precious cunt. 

“Cute pussy,” he remarks before flicking your sensitive, hardened clit.

A rush of pleasure washes down your body as you cry while cumming. Bakugou pushes you right over the edge, a nasty grin screaming atop his face as he watches you. You curse at yourself for letting him see you like this, but there’s not much you can do but cry while you feel your juices gush around you before sliding down your thighs and onto the dirty floor. 

It takes a second for you to calm down and when you do come to your senses, dread fills you up. Tears shamelessly fall down your face as you realize what you just did. The others laugh at you, without feeling any remorse. 

Bakugou continues to stare at you with an unsettling look, while the others discuss the heinous crime you’ve just committed. 

Sero looks down at you and you catch his dark eyes staring at you. A toothy grin scavenges his face as he speaks. 

“Awesome,” he says as if he just finished some mediocre movie. 

Finally, you find the courage to get up and run. 

This was totally not awesome. 

[1184p]

hey! I was wondering if you could do a tom holland x reader where they’re not dating but sorta are? The reader is really connected to her fans and stuff and always goes live, so in one live reader is getting ready to go to a party. Then videos get leaked of reader dancing and partying, and in a interview with tom and he gets all jealous after seeing the video? If any of that makes sense.

COMPLICATED

pairing ; tom holland x actress!reader

character count ; 7523

note ; thank you for the request love!tried my best,hope you guys like it^^

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Your relationship was complicated, to say the least.

It seemed as though, everyone knew you were dating, except Tom, in his mind you were more of friends with benefits.

You knew this and yet you still stupidly fell in love with him.

But as of lately, you were getting fed up with this circling back and forth that was going on inside your head.

Thinking it was time to move on, Zendaya, your best friend, suggested a girls night at a nearby club.

As you were searching in your suitcase for an appropriate outfit, an idea sparked.

Being an actress had its pros and cons, one that was both, were the fans.

You were lucky enough to have supportive fans. You loved interacting with them at events, and Instagram lives made it just a tad bit easier to do.

It seemed like the perfect opportunity to start one while getting ready.

As you were tidying up a little for the live, text messages from Tom blew up your phone. You felt bad for ignoring them, but you didn't want anything nor anyone to ruin your mood.

"Hey guys"you started the live with a smile on your face,thousands of people joining already.

Time passed by in a flash, before you even knew it, Zendaya was already at your door.

Saying goodbye to your fans, you approached the door while pulling down your dress, preventing it from riding up even more.

Letting in your friend, she was already complaining about how Tom's been whining to her about you not answering his texts.

"Seriously, that boy should stop, he's getting on my nerves"Her face showing her inner frustration.

"I know I know, but, no more talking about him tonight, let's just go and have some fun"At this her eyes lightened up, pulling you by your hand excitedly out of the room, later out of the building right into a cab.

The club Zendaya has chosen was unknown to you, but that didn't stop you from having the time of your life.

You drank more than you should have, not even your friend's concerned eyes stopped you from drinking away your feelings for Tom.

Oh Tom, while you were laughing hysterically at everything you saw, he was worried for you, he saw that you did a live but only caught it when it was already over.

It was so strange you didn't answer him, you always did. Now Tom wasn't as oblivious as you thought, he knew what you felt, hell, he felt the same, but in his head he was at war with himself, he thought he'd only complicate things by telling you.

So when he finally fell asleep after some tossing and turning, he woke up to some pictures of you and Zendaya at a local club.

You looked happy, really drunk, but nonetheless happy in a stranger's company while dancing.

Is that what you were doing?Is that why you were ignoring Tom's messages?

Questions flooded his head, his insecurities almost eating him alive.

You woke up with a throbbing headache, everything still blurry. You limited your moving pace, as moving too fast made your stomach turn.

Looking around as everything became clearer, you saw you were in Zendaya's bedroom, seen from her stuff around the room, thanking the gods above you weren't in a stranger's bed.

Although your co-star was nowhere to be seen, hearing the shower going on in the bathroom revealed her location.

On the bedside table did you find your phone, plugged into a charger, making a mental note to thank Zendaya.

Missed phone calls and messages filled your phone, some from other friends but most were from Tom. Ignoring your problems just a second longer, you checked your friends' messages. You were confused as what pictures they were referring to. Clicking the link one of them sent you, it immediately opened Twitter, and there they were.

Loads of pictures were revealed before your eyes. Some with Zendaya in it but the larger amount was you in it, well you and a stranger dancing real close to each other.

As the night's memories slowly came back to you with each picture, you scolded yourself internally for not being more cautious.

Jumping up from the bed, and then immediately regretting it as the movement only made your headache worse, you hurriedly got your stuff, leaving a note for the still showering Zendaya, thanking her and informing where you were going to.

Making a quick stop at your room, trying to make the mess that you call your hair, less bird nest-y like. You checked your breath just to find out it reeked from all the alcohol you drank the night before, you decided that brushing your teeth would be a good idea to do before seeing Tom.

You locked the door on your way out, in your head already trying to come up with a way you'd tell Tom about your feelings. Yes, you're going to, you've had enough of tip-toeing around it.

At Tom's door, you took a deep breath in, preparing for whats to come. You lifted your hand to knock when a panicked Tom opened it before your hand could even touch the door. You saw the man in front of you visible relax at the sight of you. He wouldn't admit it, but seeing all those pictures with you and that stranger made him green with jealousy inside.

"Y/n!I'm so glad to see yo-"

"Tom, I have to tell you somet-"Silence has fallen over you two. Tom stared at you for a moment with slightly widened eyes.

"You go first"He offered with a smile on his face but still with a tad bit of nervousness as to what you are going to say.

"Okay, so, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, tried to avoid ever having this conversation, but, here goes nothing I guess,"while you, with a slight waver to your voice, shifting from one foot to another, were gathering you thoughts, Tom was in hardly any different shape than you were, thinking and hoping that maybe just maybe, you'd be braver than he's ever been and confess your feelings to him.

"I'm in love with you, and I know you're not with me, and that's okay, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you. I want to be more, I want to hold your hand out in public, I want to be the reason you wake up with a smile on your face, to be the one you think about 24/7, to be the one you take Tessa to the park with. I want to be the one who'd make your bad days better, to be there for you, all this, goes back to, I want to be with you Tom, like really be with you."You wait for him to say anything,but for a few seconds he just stands there stunned with his mouth slightly opened.

"You know what, forget it"You say and turn around,taking a step forward when a hand stops you.You turn to Tom with a confused gaze,hurt evident in your eyes.

"I'm in love with you too, I've been since i don't even know when, now I know I was a fool for not saying anything but I was so scared of screwing something up.I'm sorry." Tom said with a bashful gaze.

"I forgive you"You smiled at him, still a tad bit shocked by his confession.

Tom took a step closer, one of his hand coming up to your face while the other one was holding your waist. He carressed your cheek, thump swiping across your lower lip, eyes full of love for you, he asked:

"Can I kiss you"you nodded, unable find your voice from the way his body was so close to yours.

Then he kissed you, it was as if you were floating, his pillowy lips softening the fall.It always felt like it was the first time ever kissing him.

Minutes went by that felt like hours, kissing him, before you both had to separate, lungs hungry for air.

"We were pretty silly"Tom chuckled,looking intensely in your eyes.

"We really were"Tom pecked your lips and then asked you to be his girlfriend,which to you of course said yes,feeling full of contentment and love for him.

You're glad you finally said something.

THE END

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