#fuckin canada is so big it’s insane

[inkykeiji]

Dabi is here to CHEW ON UR FACE because u are SO CUTE, and he's MAD about it!! (And yes! I live in Canada, the big ol' rectangle 😂😂 easy to draw... hard to spell 🤣🤣)

NOOOOOO HE IS SO CUTE ACTUALLY oh my godddd oh my god oh my god stop it this brought actual tears to my eyes!!! (*ﾉ∀`*) he is absolutely precious i love him so so so much <333 he can chew on my face whenever he wants to (*´ρ｀*)

AH YES!!! okay you are quite far from me i am in ontarioooo

[autisticlancemcclain]

figured id add this poll too in case.

some summaries for ur luxury and convenience:

galtean au w a sprinkling of tangled inspriation

team has to secure an alliance with a planet that is like a giant ancient rome basically and has the military prowess to match and it is delicate enough that keith and lance are not allowed to help with negotiations and instead must just sit around and look pretty and amuse themselves in a big ass villa via falling in at least 40k of slowburn in love and aware but not letting ourselves yet love canon fic based off that taylor swift song. uh. the one with the spilling wine in the bathtub. dress

adult klance shoved together in a cross canada train car simultaneously going through a quarter life crisis modern au

keith really hates his dumbass realter job and his realter job hates him and gives him dilapidated ass houses to sell and in one such house he meets a newly created and very angry about it ghost named lance who has a Personal Problem with keith as if its his fault he's fuckin' dead modern au

journey to the centre of the earth au ft. keith who just wants to keep the memory of his brother alive thru geeky geology, his very emo thirteen year old niece hana, and a very intelligent but highly competitive mountain guide who seems to hate him a little for some reason and unfortunately looks very good doing so. this au is already partially written

superman keith lois lane lance au

trucker klance slowburn modern au

mad chemist youtuber lance and awkward but hugely famous actor keith who like a dumbass tells the entire internet that he has the hots for said youtuber who then proceeds to play hard to get bc he is a shit nilered au

unbelievably insane and heavy period piece circa venice 1492 with emotionally agonised and Falling angel lance and cathedral stonemason keith who treats him as if hes holy

[ambreiiigns]

Ok then now tell me about these sk8 big and little boyfriends? I'm interested by the distinction of big and little, you know? :P

ok after Thee category 5 doubleblack moment and watching tristamp w my brother i'll answer this sk8 ask. then i'll go look at deathnote images saved to my phone to complete the collection of anime i care about

so you will never believe me but sk8. is about. a bunch. of skater boys. we have langa who moves to japan from canada after his dad dies bc his mom's japanese. him and his dad used to do snowboarding together but langa got lowkey depressed after his death and doesn't feel much passion for snowboarding anymore. plus he lives in beachy town now so it'd be impossible anyway

he meets reki there tho. and Oh reki is just like. the sun. they're in class together but didn't really talk (langa doesn't talk much) but they bump into each other while reki's out skating and he gets langa to try it and it just. goes downhill from there

reki takes him to S !!! which is this like super secret skaterz place that opens at night on some mountain where they have races and place bets and stuff. long story short langa finds that Spark he's missed ever since his dad died in reki and skateboarding - as in, yeah sure skating's fun but it's reki that makes his heart beat fast and not the adrenaline or whatever. it's not Skating itself that makes him happy but it's skating With Reki. they're so fucking SWEET. they have a bit of a fight halfway thru the series bc reki has some inferiority complex and langa almost loses the Spark again. it's really sweet. at some point he vaguely talks to his mom abt this fight and she assumes it's about a girl he likes so she asks him. "you LIKE this person don't you" and langa BLUSHES HE'S SO CUTE and says yeah :// so she hypes him up to go talk things out and says. good lird. "show her she's a lucky girl!!" and langa. i am quoting word for word. answers. "what girl." gay people real

and those ^ are the little boyfriends. now the BIG boyfriends ugh !! unsufferable. you got kojiro aka joe and kaoru aka cherry and we meet them at s. in fact they FOUNDED s when they were teens along w adam who's the bad guy in this show and i want him dead. joe is. built like a brickhouse and mildly italian ?? he runs a restaurant during the day and the Gang meets up there a lot he's the sweetest in the world and worries and helps the kids anytime he can i adore him. cherry's gnc af (you're insane) he's pretty as fuck and had a Punk Phase as a kid where he had a couple of piercings and emo bangs and NO ONE has ever looked better EVER but he's Mean but still Cares. when they met adam back in the day him & cherry had a lil somethin somethin going on but he ended up dumping them Both for being boring bc he's insane. i don't wanna talk abt him. so that leaves cherry & joe alone again - which is cool. they've been together since preschool they're the type to bicker and talk shit 24/7 while still always being glued to each other. they're so Horny but they won't fuck. everyone at s wonts them carnally. the kids (by this i mean reki & langa but mostly miya who's like a little shit pro skater they picked up along the way) (shoutout to the icp clown rockstar legend shadow who's the 6th and final member of The Gang) call them mom and dad Frequently and they call the gang "The Kids" an incriminating amount of times (they accidentally adopted two 16yos one 14yo and one 24yo. at age 26)

realizing i don't Know how to explain joe & cherry you kinda just have to witness them. there's this bit where cherry's explaining to The Kids how adam does one of his moves so he skates right up to joe and says "Hello..." in a. weird fucking tone and joe hisses back "You're Too Close!!!" threatheningly like he's gonna fuckin Jump him. there's this other bit during THEE beach episode where joe's flirting w some ladies (he's a manwhore) and miya grabs him pretends that he's his dad and tells him that Mommy's mad !! pointing at cherry who's like napping sexily. and joe actually looks at him and like fuckin whimpers and blushes like a virgin and all he can say for himself is THAT IS NOT YOUR MOM !!!! hello. what was that. also there's the bit where adam fuckin slams his board across cherry's face (?!?!?!?) and joe picks him up like a princess (which he calls him sometimes. princess and pinky and the likes) and gets him to the hospital and THEN cherry sneaks out of the hospital to go to joe's restaurant and falls asleep there and joe looks at him sooo tenderly and says something like "at least we aren't alone right kaoru?" and it's Sweet bc cherry has troubles sleeping but he feels safe enough to sleep around joe..... don't u wanna scream

here look at them. the kids the parents the squad

[jwowwsboobs]

"OK" is out now. hope u guys are really digging it. we are very stoked on this song. it's a step toward something new for us. still grounded in the BUMMER way cuz we wanted to ease u guys into things. haha. more to come. we've made some really cool stuff over the last few months we cant wait to share. i'm so glad we were able to make this single release happen among this years crazy touring. we really wanted to do it for you guys. we produced it in the back of our van while we raced around on tour this spring. not the greatest work flow but it made the song what it is.

this release marks another page turned in the story of this band. this weekend we are wrapping up what has been 9 months of almost non-stop touring since that part of our lives started to be possible again. probably didn't seem that way to you guys because of the algorithms and shit but honestly we haven't been home almost at all since september 2021. it's been a wild time. one of the most challenging, confusing, and ultimately rewarding chapters for this band as we floored the metaphorical gas pedal and flipped open the protective plastic cover on a big red button marked "nitrous-oxide or something” and pressed it frantically all hoping to make up for a couple lost years and reconcile the pandemic release of our debut album.

this friday and saturday we close off this unique chapter with our first ever performances at the reading and leeds festivals. a beautiful bow to tie on top of an insane year for these two small-town dudes (3 including jake, 4 including sanjay who did the rb tour with us but ya u get it)

if you're gonna be at reading or leeds this year, we invite you to come celebrate with us at our sets. exchange some energy with us. scream the fuck out of "OK" and your favourite BUMMER hits, and then wave goodbye for a little while: as we fly back home to canada to start working on whatever is next.

we hope to see you there.

fuckin love u all. thanks for all the support. here's to chapters closing and new beginnings. here's to cleo at reading and leeds. here's to OK.

okokok peace.

luke and ian

[uneryx]

Okay so for some reason I'm getting beginning of the fall of Rome vibes with what's been happening in America (Tr*mp essentially raising a defacto military). So is there any thing I should know befor moving to Canada? And do you know of any good starting points if one would want to do more research?

ffffff.... This is a hard question to answer, Nonny. Mostly because the only reason I’m up here is for my job - I moved here in 2014, well before shit started falling apart, and it’s been an interesting and difficult journey.  If you’re in a position, financially, to afford a move to Canada and all the residency fuckery therein (seriously, immigration to Canada is expensive AF. My PR - permanent residency- cost somewhere in the ballpark of 6 grand, and that’s not counting the dozens of Temp work permits that were $150 a pop), I would actually encourage you to do what you can with that money to improve America. I’m generally in favor of remaining to fight and hold the line, instead of absconding elsewhere and leaving those who cannot leave in the dust.  I get it, though, that the $6 grand hit on the chin is probably less expensive in the long run than the decline of America (and really, the decline of Western capitalism, which Canada absolutely will not escape from unscathed), so here’s what advice I can offer on moving to canada. 1. If you can get a job up here, get one. PR is MUCH easier to obtain if you’ve already worked in Canada. The Temp Worker permits are pretty limited, but they make a big difference in how quickly you’ll be accepted into the country. 2. Get any and ALL the documents for your medical history together. One of my friends, despite having a partner who is a citizen, only just recently got his PR after a 2 year wait period and a LOT of bureacracy fuckery because he has a chronic illness. It’s one of the biggest hurdles in canadian immigration.  3. If your major goal is just to get out of the US, look at smaller cities like Kelowna, Prince George, or Winnipeg. the rent in Vancouver, Toronto and MOntreal is insanely high. 4. Canada is really similar to the US but in a lot of ways it really isn’t. I can’t define them all, they’re sort of things you pick up along the way, but whatever stereotype you have of canada in your head is both true and really, really not.

5. There’s lots of “moving to Canada” sites out there. I didn’t have any specific one to refer to but a google search should give you a good starting point.

6. Compared to America, Canada is kind of expensive. Taxes here are pretty high (gotta pay for all that sweet, sweet socialism!), and because of import costs food is really expensive too. That $3 brick of cheese you can get at target? It’s $13 here. It adds up. Not to mention that moving here has some steep costs as well - lots of fees and duties that add up. 

7. Every year until you renounce your US citizenship you have to file taxes in both countries. Not pay, thank all the gods above for that, I only have to pay in Canada, but I still have to file in the US. it’s a big PITA.

This isn’t to say that I don’t love living here and love Vancouver, and that I would go back to 2014 and discourage my past self from moving here. I love it here and I’m very happy. But it was a struggle to get financially stable after moving, and getting here was hard AF too. I don’t wanna sugar-coat it for you and let you find out the hard way that immigration is REALLY FUCKIN HARD. And I don’t want to sell you Canada as this wonderful socialist utopia where the maple syrup rivers flow plentifully for all because, well, it’s not. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #278

“they will seduce you, get through the door; then they bite you in the neck, leave you bleeding on the floor.”

Do you believe in dream symbolism? If so, do you ever look up what certain things in your dreams may mean? Some, yes, others, no. A lot just seem way too random to have stories behind them, but just as well, some dreams are obviously stemmed from our experiences, fears, desires, etc. Who was the last person who exploded on you? What was the reason? I have no idea, but probably Mom. Is there a certain name that keeps popping up in your life, like a name that many people you know have? No. What is something you have a "love/hate relationship" with? What do you hate about it, and what do you love about it? The first thing that comes to mind is technology. I grew up way too dependent on in despite my mom being a good mother that really tried to limit my time of it. It just never worked. Almost everything I do involves a computer. Through the Internet though, I’ve made spectacular friends, discovered great things (coughcoughmark), it helps me through depression and stuff… but I nevertheless hate how attached I am to it. Sometimes I feel like I’m so disconnected from the “real” world, “real” experiences, but then again, I also believe tech is a part of the “real” world. Idk how to really explain it; I have such mixed feelings. Do you like things that are cliché or not? What kinds of things that are regarded as "cliché" do you like? Sure, especially romantic cliches. I’m just such a sucker for that kind of stuff. What was the last quote you read somewhere, and who said it? “Speak your mind even if your voice shakes,” Ruth Ginsburg. We truly lost a hero. Have you heard any song mash-ups (when they put two or more different songs together) that you like? If so, which? Oh, quite a lot, I love those! The first one that comes to mind is “Centuries” by Fall Out Boy and “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in 2014? Well, this is old. But anyway, I had one. How often do you say ‘lol’ in a computer or text conversation? Quite a bit. Idk, it just changes the tone of what you’re speaking. Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own. Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Ha ha… not devoutly, but I’d explore “cool” metal bands to try to get into. I didn’t make myself listen to them if I didn’t like ‘em, though. What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know? Hm. Well, I don’t consider it “interesting,” but very few people (besides the Internet lmao) know that I essentially stole my then-best friend’s boyfriend by mutual flirting to the point he broke up with her and wanted me instead. I cut that shit the fuck out once he told me he loved me. It’s one of the things I’m most ashamed of. What do you want to do after high school? I’m long past high school, and let’s just say things are NOT going as planned lmao. At all. I had such, such a different vision. Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home? No. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state/country, would you? I deadass want to move to Canada but am unwilling to move so far from my family. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa? I don’t know age; it’s funny, I tend to remember things by school grades versus my age. Even in this situation, though, I’m not positive. Towards the end of elementary school, maybe? Do you have any saved texts? Yes, from Sara and Ashley. Do you ever play online games with your friends? Which one(s)? Once upon a time, my friend/”big brother” Sam and I would play WoW together every day and just chill out over Skype. He helped keep me company during my worst depression. We haven’t played together in quite a long time, though. I should message him. Which emoji did you use most recently? The upside-down smiley face on Facebook. Who was the last person to cry in your presence? Mom, probably. Or one of my nieces or nephew. Do any of your friends have small children? Yes. One of my closest friends had her son not even two weeks ago. Do you ever wear accessories in your hair? Which ones? No. What kind of fruit do you like? A good chunk of it. Strawberries, apples, grapes, pineapple, bananas, peaches… Is there anything you've always wanted to do that you've never told anyone? *shrugs* Maybe. Do you flush the toilet with your hand or your foot? ”I use my hand at home and in other people’s bathrooms, but I use my foot in public washrooms.” <<<< Same. What is your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? (Ex: ENTP): INFP. Do you read any blogs? If so, which ones? No. Would you rather have curvy legs or skinny legs? I’d prefer to have an in-between. What is your favorite game show? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. How many times a day do you use the restroom? Hm. Depends on how much I drink. What was the last thing that made you cringe? Idr. What is your favorite ‘80s movie? I’m not sure, given how I don’t tend to recognize movies by decades. Do you have your own car? No. I don’t drive. Who was the last person who drew you a picture? I commissioned someone on deviantART to draw My Child Jaw and it is so FUCKING beautiful. Would you rather hold a scorpion or a snake? I love snakes, so guess. How do you usually get your exercise? I don’t, but that’s going to change when we FINALLY fuckin move. I’m going to walk as much as I possibly can because we have a sidewalk. Who are your godparents? Idk if I even have any. Are any of your siblings married? Three are and one is engaged. What does your phone case look like, if you have one? It came with a plain purple one. What is something you can draw really well? I think I’m pretty good at meerkats. Best field trip experience? The zoo in the 5th grade. One and only time I’ve seen meerkats irl. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? Idr. It’s very rare I can pay for anything because I don’t have an income, but with gifted money and stuff, it was probably when I paid for my mom and I to eat at Olive Garden. I don’t recall how much it was, but OG isn’t cheap, so. Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? Idk. I had good teachers. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? I don’t know. Nothing exciting. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not really, no. There are cases where I do, like if I take too big a bite or something, but generally I don’t. Everyone has to eat. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? I recall one in particular during my era of being terrified of them when we were on the way home from a friend’s house and there was INSANE lightning. I was crying so much in the back seat. I think I have experienced worse ones, that’s just the one I remember because of how much it terrified me. How quickly can you write an essay? Pretty damn quickly once I get into the groove of it. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No. What bug frightens you most? Oh yikes, idk. A lot of bugs scare me, honestly, particularly if they surprise me. Probably rhinoceros beetles. Are your parents supportive of you? Very. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No. Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? lol oops Have you ever had sex on your bedroom floor? How about your living room floor? YIKES this survey getting frisky but anyway idk. When you kiss someone, do you like to play with their hair? Yeah. Do you regret sleeping with anyone? No. Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? No…? Your hair is just gonna get messy while sleeping. Have you ever asked anyone out? Do you prefer to do the asking out, or wait to see if the other person will ask? Yes. I don’t really have a preference. Have your parents ever disapproved of anyone you had a relationship with? Not to my knowledge. When’s the last time you ran? HUNNY Brittany doesn’t RUN. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Oh yes, I did that A LOT with Mini back when we were younger and RPed together like every day. Who or what sleeps with you? Roman, my cat. Would you wear a boy/girlfriend’s clothes? I somehow wound up with quite a few of Jason’s pj pants?????? But anyway yeah sure, I would. If it fit, anyway. Do you return your cart? I am a lazy person. But not that lazy. Do it. What noise do you hear? I’m currently listening to NateWantsToBattle’s cover of “Feel Good Inc.” Would you survive in prison? No. No. I know I’d try to commit suicide. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? The IT remake with Girt. Have you ever cheated on someone? No sir. Do you kiss on the first date? I never have, but not saying I wouldn’t. BUT I most likely would not just because I reserve kisses for someone I really, really like. Usually by the first date I wouldn’t know that yet. Are you into sports? Nope. Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket? HAHA I don’t think so. Who knows a secret about you that no one else does? My ex-therapist. What is your longest relationship to date? 3 ½ years. Who ended the last relationship you were in? It was brought up by her, but it came to be a mutual decision. Have you ever gotten back with an ex? No. Who was your first prom date? Jason. Have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you? For less than a day. Have you ever been used? I don’t think so. Do you like when I guy takes you by surprise and kisses you? This is making quite a few assumptions, but anyway, if we’re in a stable relationship, generally yes. It’s cute. Would you be more likely to date a redneck or a goth? My dream partner would be a goth, hnnnnnnnnGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Has anyone ever sung to you? Yes. Do you like massages? EW don’t touch me like that unless you’re my s/o. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. When was the last time you spent the night at someone else's house? The last time I was at Sara’s. What scares you more, spiders or snakes? Spiders. Does it matter if a guy has a sense of humor? If he’s a romantic interest, yeah. Would you ever get implants? No. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling's friend? No. Have you ever dated someone with a child? No. I’m quite sure I wouldn’t. Have you ever dated someone of another race? For less than a day. Have you kissed anyone today? No. What was the last topic you read about? I beliiieeeve… Metallica’s new album. Have you ever participated in a fundraising campaign? I think? Again, I don’t have an income though so I’m unsure. Do you know how to knit? No. What’s your go-to order from KFC? I don’t go there. What was the last album you listened to in full? Oh man, there’s no telling. I generally don’t do that. Do you use pepper to season your food? Sure, that’s a common enhancement. Do you know anyone who has an unusual pet? Probably somebody. Have you ever known anyone who was homeless? My mother, Nicole, and I technically were at one point, we just had spectacular people let us live with them until we got a new place. Did you have a treehouse when you were younger? No. One does not simply build a treehouse in pine trees. Have you ever played Magic: The Gathering? Guys. Guys. For many many months now I’ve been dying to and idk why. That game was one of Jason’s favorite things in the world and so he taught me it how to play, though I never fully got it because there are a LOT of rules. When I had my PS3, I had one of the Duels of the Planeswalkers games, and I miss that shit. What are your thoughts on role playing games? Fun fun. What is a band you can't stop listening to right now? I’ve been seriously into 3TEETH lately, as well as Solence. Have you ever had a panic attack? LOTS!!!!!!!! Have you ever entered a talent competition? Naw, I don’t have an exceptional talent. Are you indecisive? Ridiculously so. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? It’s actually one of my brightest smiles I’ve ever taken a selfie with. I look way happier than I am lmaooo. Describe your hometown. What's it like there? Small, notoriously dangerous. Do you have any expensive hobbies? You could say photography given the various lenses and other materials available, plus editing software subscriptions. What is the oldest online account that you still use? My email, probably. What was the last video game you beat? I wanna say it was the last time I replayed Silent Hill 2. Long time ago. What's your favorite Studio Ghibli film? I actually haven’t seen any. Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Yeah, sure, like various entertainers/bands/musicians, TV shows…

[oliivverwood]

retweet

marcus/oliver + social media for @rlversongs

LONG POST- idk how to put the keep reading from my phone sorry

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marcus flint for NBA @marcflintofficial 

Are you ready for thrilling Raptors vs Bucks Eastern Conference Final game 5? Tune in on YouTube 2nite aftergame for play by play analysis + predictions. Watch for live tweets. #NBA #Basketball  

12:00 PM      2,340 likes   1,226 retweets

montyyyyy @grahamcracker

yo @casswarr five dollas on raps making history. wood has been straight sniping this year. bucks have no chance with that offense. #rapsin5

12:48 PM        5 likes 3 retweets

cassius ;) @casswarr

@grahamcracker ur fuckin insane if u think its gonna be easy for the raps. diggory's been an absolute wall this szn. he'll block potter's nasty dunks easy

1:05 PM          4 likes 1 retweets

oliver wood #0 @oliverw00dofficial

Game 5. Tonight. Air Canada Arena. #WeTheNorth

4:00 PM         1,904 likes 837 retweets

marcus flint for NBA @marcflintofficial

5 into 1st quarter, Wood from the Raps with the filthy cross on Malfoy, ballhandling like a dream. #NBA #NBAGame5 #Basketball

8:43 PM         734 likes 437 retweets

pants park (marky flints cuzzy) @panzyparkkk

@marcflintofficial im sure handling his balls is your dream ;))

8:50 PM        523 likes 277 retweets

marcus flint for NBA (@marcflintofficial) blocked pants park (marky flints cuzzy) (@panzyparkkk)

marcus flint for NBA @marcflintofficial

Potter steals from Diggory, lobs it to Weasley, throws it up to Wood for a dunk on Bole. The Raptors chemistry is off the charts this game. #NBA #NBAGame5 #Basketball

9:22 PM       256 likes 153 retweets

mclaggen the frat god @nolaggingmclaggen

yo why the fuck is flint being so nice about the raps rn. i don't want wood favouritism, i miss asshole flint. talk shit about bole's shitty defense, please. 

10:00 PM   333 likes 457 retweets

oliver wood #0 (@oliverw00dofficial) liked a tweet by mclaggen the frat god (@nolaggingmclaggen)

oliver wood #0 @oliverw00dofficial

Eastern Conference dubs, absolutely ecstatic. See you against the Warriors for NBA finals. #WeTheNorth

11:54 PM   937 likes 765 retweets

HARRY POTTER #3 @harrypottter

to the finalsssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WeTheNorth

11:56 PM      832 likes 655 retweets

-

YouTube

NBA by Marcus Flint 

1,267,457 subscribers

Recent Videos

RAPTORS VERSUS BUCKS EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS (HIGHLIGHTS, PLAY BY PLAY, ANALYSIS) 

Play

"A tremendous game for the Raptors, starting right off the bat. Bulgarian transfer Viktor Krum started it right from the tipoff, an offense immediately set into play by captain Oliver Wood. The Bucks weren't ready for them to come at them so hard so quickly, which was [redacted] stupid of them, it's the [redacted] Eastern Conference Finals. Diggory did steal from rookie Finnegan, who was lucky to have Wood track back as fast as he did for the defense. Further into the first quarter, Wood executed one of the dirtiest [redacted] crossovers I've ever seen in my two years of working in the NBA. Poor Urquhart didn't stand a chance. He's probably wallowing in the memes being made of him now, bless his heart--no, he deserves it. Urquhart, get it together, set your [redacted] feet."

"The second quarter had the Bucks catch up, with Roger Davies shooting 3 for 4 from the three point line, two assists from Bucks rookie Zach Smith, one from Draco Malfoy. The fourth one bounced off the rim into Wood's hands- his offensive rebounding stats have been crazy--

"The third quarter had Weasley on the boards, dribbling out to the corner and lobbing it to Potter on the fast break, and what a [redacted] fast break it was! If you blinked you would have missed it, which apparently Bole did, blink that is. Potter tosses it up to Wood for a nasty dunk on Bole. Humiliating. I'd never show my face to the world again, if that happened to me."

Pause.

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Rita Skeeter for TMZ @ritaskeets

Renowned basketball analyser and former NBA player Marcus Flint's cousin, Pansy Parkinson with a shocking tweet during yesterday's game 5. #marcusflint

6:00 AM     4,003 likes   2,692 retweets

Rita Skeeter for TMZ @ritaskeets

This certainly is a strange development. Through injuries, scandals and incidents, Marcus Flint has had quite a life. Learn more in my article on tmz.com/articles/ritaskeeter #marcusflint

6:08 AM      2,455 likes   1,234 retweets

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Excerpt of Marcus Flint Through the Years, by Rita Skeeter for TMZ

Marcus Caradoc Flint, Chicago born and raised and was eventually the first draft pick, going to nowhere else but the Chicago Red Bull's, and evidently changing the team dynamic forever, and for the better. Flint played rough, fouling out of a game dozens of times and racking up the most fines in the league, but it was worth it. He was still skillful, dazzling audiences with his awe striking shots and dunks. He won rookie of the year, finals MVP, and had 2 championship rings, one from his time on the Bulls, the other from his time with the Cleveland Cavaliers. 

Flint was known to be a little violent on the court, some of the more notable players he got in fights with being Roger Davies, Remus Lupin and Oliver Wood, who we'll be discussing later this article. 

Suddenly, injury struck, and Flint could never play basketball again, a freak accident on the court where he was pushed midair, lost his balance and tore his ACL. He was immediately offered a spot on the NBA reporting crew, where he popularised the channel with his calculated analyses and his filthy mouth. The channel ratings shot up, and the rest was history. 

Flint was never out of the spotlight for long. Two years ago, he was seen walking out of the Peninsula New York with Charlie Weasley, New York Knicks, one morning, the two of them awfully close and sharing an embrace before parting ways. This led to speculation about their relationship status and Flint's sexuality. Not long after that, he was photographed leaving The Monster, a gay bar in New York, again, with an unidentified male. 

Recently, Marcus Flint's cousin, Pansy Parkinson,  a well known tattoo artist in Los Angeles replied to Flint's tweets.

Attached: Screenshot of Pansy Parkinson's reply to Marcus Flint,"im sure handling his balls are your dream ;)))*

Is this an indicator of something between Flint and Wood? Our reporters have reached out to all three parties involved for comment.

--

mclaggen the frat god @nolaggingmclaggen

broooo that's why flint was sucking woods dick so hard during live tweet. i don't care if the man likes it up the ass i want some CORRECT analysis #marcusflint

12:00 AM   600 likes 236 retweets

cassius ;) @casswarr

wood and the raps have a presser today maybe he'll say smth about the sitch #marcusflint

12:52 PM   132 likes 121 retweets

#WeTheNorthh @torontoraptorsnumber1fan

*Attached: Clip from the Raptors Press Conference. A journalist from Sports Illustrated asks as question directed towards Oliver Wood, captain. "What are your thoughts on the online blowup regarding your status with Marcus Flint?" Oliver has a faint smile. Harry Potter is sniggering behind his hand on the other end of the table. Oliver goes to the mike. "I didn't realise there was a blowup. We gotta prepare for our next game now. See you all then." The entire team gets out and exits. The journalists clamour for their attention, with more questions.*

1:07 PM     4,082 likes   5,239 retweets

gin n tonic @ginnywheezy

y'all saw that cheeky smirk no?? @harrypottter laughing in the corner no??? my big bro @ronwheezy turning bright red NO???? 

1:20 PM        345 likes   233 retweets

marcus flint for NBA (@marcflintofficial), oliver wood #0 (@oliverw00dofficial), HARRY POTTER #3 (@harrypottter), Draco Malfoy (@dracoma1foy), angie johnson (@angelinaj), forge weasley (@georgewheezy), gred weasley (@fredwheezy) liked gin n tonic (@ginnywheezy)'s tweet

--

Instagram

@marcusflintbae

fan account, im in love with marcus flint

Recent Posts:

*Blurry picture of two male figures, seemingly joined by the hand. One of them is brunette, the other black haired. Both tall. One is dressed in a grey tracksuit and clunky basketball shoes, the other in a pressed white shirt and black pants, tie looseness. They are smiling - the photo is too blurry to specify exactly who it is.

marcusflintbae this is obviously marcus flint and oliver wood, that's the tea. im so jealous of wood ugh. 

Posted 1 hour ago

Liked by ginnywheeze, percyweasley, panspark, terhiggs, adrianpuc3y, k8iebell, hazzapotter, fredwheeze and 2943 others

-

Private Chat between Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint

oliver wood: marcus ur an idiot

marcus flint: how is this my fault

oliver wood: u were too nice to me on highlight analysis

oliver wood: and u forgot to tell parkinson that we're not public yet 

marcus flint: well u should be happy u wanted to go public like six months ago

oliver wood: nOT LIKE THIS

oliver wood: let's announce it on twitter we've let them suffer long enough 

marcus flint: don't use the photo that im wearing the purple tie in

marcus flint: it's ugly 

oliver wood: you are in no position to be making demands

oliver wood: im not going to use a photo, i love you, I'll call you later

marcus flint: love u too babe

--

marcus flint for NBA @marcflintofficial

I'm dating Oliver Wood. I'm not biased to the raptors at all, don't tell him but I actually bet on the Warriors. #NBAFinals

9:03 PM   608,767 likes 438,898 retweets

oliver wood #0 @oliverw00dofficial

Marcus Flint and I have BEEN dating. Keep up. He fr didn't bet on us. If you stop watching him I'll request a trade. Joking. Not really. #NBAFinals

9:06 PM     453,738 likes 234,725 retweets

[galadrieljones]

The Lily Farm - Chapter 30

AO3 | Masterpost

Rating: M (Mature) - sexual content, violence, and adult themes

Summary: 

To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. He agrees, and on their journey to the north, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. They’ve been friends for a while now, but life, like the wilderness, is full of uncertainty and complications, and as they embark on their desperate search for meaning together, they endure many trials, some small, some big—all of which bring them closer to one another, and to their future.

Chapter 30: Don’t go it alone.

Sadie and Charles were sitting in the saloon of St. Denis, upstairs in a quiet corner, counting out their money on Colm O’Driscoll’s bounty. It was $3,000. The Sheriff had wanted him alive, said there would have been big Pinkerton money in it for them, too, if he’d been available for questioning. It was a fools errand, though. Sadie had been quiet ever since they got to the bar, chain-smoking. Charles smoked a lot, too. Ashes fell all over the stacks of bills as they counted them, sipping their bourbon. At some point, when the number was confirmed, Sadie put her head in her hands and dipped the cigarette in a crystal ash tray.  Charles took out a little tin of tobacco and some papers and went about rolling a few more cigarettes. He sprinkled in some of the dried marijuana plant, too, but only in those he rolled for himself. He left it out of Sadie’s, as she did not prefer its effects. He hadn’t really spent a lot of time with Sadie before. She impressed him.

“You okay?” he said after a little while, sealing the last cigarette with his tongue.

“This fuckin bounty,” she said. He handed her one of the cigarettes. She studied it. “I feel cheated, real bad. I ain’t sure what I’m aiming for.”

“You wanted to kill Colm.” He lit the cigarette for her, then lit his own. “Understandable.”

Sadie exhaled. “Look, I’m not saying I could have, or that it was even my place. Dutch had his own bone to pick. I just—” She hung her head. She seemed exhausted. “I ain’t finished, Charles. Those fuckers ruined my life.”

Charles sighed. He began stacking the bills, storing them neatly in his pack. “If it’s revenge you want, you’ll get it,” he said. “I just don’t know if it’ll help.”

“Oh, it’ll help,” said Sadie.

“If you say so.”

She took a long drag and looked around. She wore some sort of make-up on her eyes that had smudged underneath, making her look sort of feral. “Sometimes I think about Arthur,” she said. “And you. You’re both good men. I still wonder what the hell it is you’re doing here.”

“Doing where.”

“Doing with Dutch,” she said. “He’s insane. You know that, right?”

“I know it ain’t perfect,” said Charles, “but it’s better than being alone.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve made a real friend in Arthur," said Charles. "I don’t know. Dutch may be eccentric, but he gave me a home. Gave me brothers. The thought of going back to a lonely existence—it makes me sad. Besides, we’ve all got our own bone to pick, Sadie.”

She looked at him, real long and glassy. “I guess you’re probably right,” she said.

“And anyway,” said Charles, closing his pack, gathering some of the ashes off the table and into his hand, “Arthur and Mary Beth, they’re getting out. John and Abigail, too. They wanna go north, soon. I might see about going with them.”

“Seriously?” said Sadie. “Where they headed?”

“I think Arthur said Wisconsin,” he said. “It’s close to Canada. I’m not sure what they have planned, but knowing Arthur, he’ll wanna live honest.”

“Shit,” said Sadie, ashing the cigarette. “I can’t believe Dutch is gonna let him go.”

Charles took a long drink, maybe too much too fast. His throat burned. He cleared his throat. “Whether Dutch is letting him go,” he said, “I have no idea. But I get the sense that Arthur is pretty serious. And Mary Beth, she is, too.”

“You know when I first got in with—you all,” said Sadie, “Mary Beth and Abigail were some of the first people to actually talk to me. Everyone else was sort of…afraid of me. Nobody likes a widow. It’s too goddam sad, even in this fuckin life. But they seemed to sympathize with what I was going through. They…helped me.” She took a long drink. She never really looked Charles in the eye as she spoke. She just looked down at the table where she was drawing invisible shapes on the wood. “And Arthur, he’s like you, and Dutch. You all treat me like a person. Not like no girl. I used to think some of the women around camp, they was just whores, looking for hand-outs. Not that I’m judging no dove. I’m just saying. I come to see I was wrong. They’re real strong, in their own ways. They’re stable. And then there’s me. The fuckin monster among them.” She finished her smoke, put it out on the surface of the table. “I can’t do this anymore, Charles.”

“You wanna hunt some O’Driscolls?” said Charles, catching her drift. “I’ll go with you. You’re not a monster, Sadie, but you’ll become one if you’re not careful. It ain’t the killing that’ll do it either. It’s the loneliness.”

Sadie looked up at him, full of dark curiosity. “Is that why you’re here?” she said. “Because you was becoming a monster?”

Charles nodded. “We’ve all been there, Sadie. We just don’t all make it to the other side.”

Sometimes, Sadie missed Jake so much, she could feel her skin itching, like her body was turning inside-out. She was just so goddam sick of feeling sad. She smoked.

My dearest Hosea,

I have decided that it is time for me to ante up and marry Mary Beth. She is pregnant, and in times of such turbulence all around, it has become clear that I do not wish to wait any longer. I have sent for Reverend Swanson to meet us at a bed and breakfast near Emerald Ranch called Wintersons'—as long as he is cleaned up enough to undertake the task, of course. John, Abigail, and the boy will already be there, having agreed to meet us for a couple of nights, and we would greatly love for you and Dutch to meet us there as well.  

Please do not tell anyone else in the camp. We regret that they cannot all be there as witnesses, but we wish to keep a low profile, for obvious reasons. Tell Dutch that this does not negate our arrangement, and that as long as things stay in general control, Mary Beth and I, while still eager to set forth on our own soon, will stay as long as we must to help create a clear passage for the gang out of trouble. You can count on us.

Mary Beth is doing well, though she is somewhat more tired than usual. We will make our ride to Emerald Station over a period of two days. If you would meet us there on the 30th, then we will wait for you. Having you both there would mean a lot, as you’re like a couple of fathers to us. Please consider my request.

With love,

Arthur

Abigail and John were riding north to Emerald Ranch, headed through Scarlet Meadows. Jack was on John’s horse with him, and at one point demanded that John stop so that he could count the points on a great, elegant buck that had sprung across the path.

“I thought I saw twelve,” said Jack.

“Jesus,” said John, pulling back on the reins, trying to see after the buck. It was gone though. “That’s real good, son.” He scratched his head. “You can count to twelve?”

“Yep,” said Jack. “Uncle Arthur helps me with my numbers sometimes.”

John sighed, put the horse back to a trot. “Of course he does.”

“This is real pretty country up here,” said Abigail, breathless, falling a little behind. “Refreshing. I really need to get out more.”

“It was nice of Arthur,” said John. “Inviting us. Don’t you think?”

“It was,” said Abigail. “I’m glad you two seem to be getting on these days.”

“Me, too.”

“And we’re all gonna be on our best behavior at this kind stranger’s house,” she continued. “Am I heard?”

“Of course, mama,” said Jack. “I even made a necklace for the doctor’s wife, like the one I made you. Arthur said he was a doctor, right?”

Abigail laughed. “Yes, he did. And that’s real kind, Jack. Though it ain’t really you I’m talking to.”

John gave her a look. “What do you think I’m gonna do?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“Accidentally use the wrong fork? Shoot the poor bastard?”

“Just try to keep a goddam lid on your foul mouth for once,” she said.

“My foul mouth?” said John. He started to laugh. “You’re one to talk.”

“Excuse me?”

He picked up the pace, ignoring her question. “Let’s get a move on,” he said. “I wanna get there before the sun goes down.”

Abigail sighed, entirely distracted by the blue sky. “Sounds fine. I just—I like looking at the scenery is all.”

“I know you do,” said John, glancing back at her, watching her watch the sky. He began dreaming then, as he led the way. It was unlike him to fantasize but he thought maybe, just maybe this was the new beginning he had been working for. The way to giving her and the boy—all of them—a better life.

They got to the Wintersons' at about half past six. They hitched up away from the road near some trees and John thought he heard hounds in the distance. He helped both Jack and Abigail down from the horses.

“Hmm,” said Abigail. “I thought you said Arthur and Mary Beth would be here by now. I don't see Sarah or Watson.”

“Maybe they’re hitched up in the stables?” said John.

“Maybe,” said Abigail, dusting off her dress. “Or maybe they ain’t here yet. Grab that valise now, off the saddle. It’s got everything.”

“Can do,” said John.

They went up the lawn, all grown with pretty wildflowers. It was sort of feral greenery, but lovely. As something you might see in a painting. They went up to the porch, and John knocked on the door as politely as he knew how.

After a minute or so, the door opened, and there was a nice-looking man standing there with glasses and a shotgun down by his side. He must have been in his early fifties. “Can I help you?” he said.

“Uh, yes,” said John. He held up his hands on instinct, and Abigail tugged them back down again, in a corrective but gracious manner. John was not used to polite society. He removed his hat. “My name is uh, John Marston. This is my wife Abigail, and our boy Jack. We was just—we’re here because—uh, well.” He looked at Abigail, who nodded, then he looked back to the man. “Arthur Morgan invited us?”

Right away the man acknowledged. He hung up his shotgun next to the door. He smiled. “Yes, right. The Marstons,” he said. “We’ve been expecting you. Come on in.” He stepped aside so they could pass through the threshold and into the house. “We’ve got your rooms all prepared.”

“Rooms?” said John, looking around, taking inventory of all the homey trappings and the bookshelves and the warm, yellow light from the lanterns. “We only need one.”

“Oh, well, we have a room with a few small beds and a toy box, designated for children. We assumed you’d want your boy to stay there. We have a separate room, just for you and your wife.”

“Separate rooms?” said Abigail. “Well, that does sound nice. Thank you, sir.”

“It’s no problem,” said the man. He held out his hand then, to John. “My name is Lawrence Winterson. I own this establishment.”

John shook his hand, and then Abigail shook his hand, and then Jack. “Nice to meet you, sir. This place is…it’s really something.”

“Well, thank you. My wife keeps a lovely home.”

“I just—I don’t mean to sound like an idiot," said John, "but two rooms—how much is that gonna run extra?”

“What do you mean?” said Lawrence.

“Well, we’re paying for the rooms, of course,” said John. “I was just wondering.”

“Oh, it’s on us,” said Lawrence. “The second room, I mean. On account of special circumstances.”

“Special circumstances?” said Abigail. “What special circumstances.”

“The wedding, of course.”

“Wedding?” said John.

A little woman came out then from a side room, about the same age, maybe a little younger than Lawrence. She held in her hands a large swath of white threaded cotton. She smiled.

“Oh, this is my wife,” said Lawrence. “Lizette.”

“You may call me Liz,” she said with her French accent. She curtsied. “Bonsoir.”

“Bonsoir,” said Abigail, curtsying right back. “This—your home is mighty nice.”

“Thank you,” said Lizette. Then she nodded at Jack. “Bonsoir, young man.”

“Uh, bonsoir,” said Jack. He bowed. Then he reached into his pocket. “I made you this.” He presented the necklace—a little daisy chain.

Lizette was overcome. She took the necklace and put it on right away. “Ah, merci. I am undeserving.”

“They’re daisies,” said Jack.

She patted him on the head.

“Well,” said John, a little hurried. “This is all—well. It’s all well and good.” He then turned back to Lawrence. “But can we get back to this wedding? Whose wedding?”

“Oh, of course,” said Lawrence, cleaning his glasses on the flap of his shirt. “I guess I just assumed you knew.”

“You assumed I knew what.”

“Mr. Morgan and Miss Gaskill, they’re getting married here, in just a few days.”

“They’re getting married?” said Abigail, all pretty and lit. “Here?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Lawrence. “We’re actually expecting a few more guests. A Reverend, and a few men, friend’s of Arthur’s, who’s names I—I have written down here somewhere, but they’re lost on me now.”

“Dutch, Hosea, and Hamish,” said Lizette.

“Yes. Thank you, mon amour. Dutch, Hosea, and Hamish. Do you know them?”

“Who the hell is Hamish?” said Abigail.

John gave her a look. “Language, Abbie.”

She blushed. “I mean—wow. This is a surprise.”

“Well, now you know,” said Lawrence, glancing around. “Arthur and Mary Beth are running a little late for some undisclosed reasons. I believe they’re up near O'Creagh's Run and will be with us at some point tomorrow evening.”

“Uncle Arthur and Aunt Mary Beth are getting married?” said Jack.

“Yeah,” said John. “They are.”

“Wow. That’s wonderful.”

Abigail hugged him to her thigh. “Yes, it is you sweet child. Now run off and find you room.”

“Okay, mama.”

Lawrence directed him up the stairs and down a hallway to the left.

“He is very articulate, no?” said Lizette to Abigail. She was so tiny. Her hair was knotted in curls all piled atop her head. “For a boy of his age, I mean.”

“Yes, he’s whip smart,” said Abigail. “He’s learning to read.”

“How advanced.”

“Can I show you both to your room?” said Lawrence. “It’s upstairs, just one door down from the boy’s.”

“That would be great,” said John. “Thank you, sir. And thank you, ma’am.”

“It is our pleasure,” said Lizette.

When they got up to their room, they stood in the doorway for a moment, assessing the beauty of it all. It was very simple: a white bed with a pretty bedskirt and heavy linen curtains that hung in a very traditional fashion. Abigail had always desired a bedskirt, like the kinds they had in hotels. It was like a pretty dream, like being a cloud. She went in to touch the curtains and look out the window. The glass was very clean. When she turned back around, she saw John, standing very pensive in the doorway. He took a step inside and closed the door, then he dropped the bag on the floor and sat down on the bed.

“What is it?” she said.

He sat with his back to her, facing the door. She saw his back rise and fall in a deep breath. “I just—” He hung his head low. He had his elbows resting on his knees. He had worn a nice jacket, the nicest one he owned. “Why didn’t he tell me?” he said.

Abigail shrugged, even though he couldn’t see her. “You talking about Arthur?”

“Yeah,” said John. He took off his gloves, one by one, set them on the white bedspread. She walked around the bed so she could see him. He went on, but he didn’t look up at her. “I mean, I thought we was friends, Abigail. Brothers. Going north together—becoming a family. But he didn’t tell me they was engaged, and now I’m hearing about their wedding secondhand from a goddam stranger?”

“He ain’t a stranger to Arthur.”

“You know what I mean,” said John. “It's just that sometimes I’m worried I fucked up so much, so bad, that I’ll never get it back—his trust. His forgiveness. And now, so much of what he has, it’s outside the gang. It’s new people. It’s where he’s headed. He’s starting…new.”

Abigail sighed. She went and sat next to him on the bed, folding her hands in her lap. “It means a lot to you, don’t it. To be a part of his life.”

“Yes,” said John.

“John, you known Arthur a long time,” she said. “Things has been…difficult between you. But he wouldn’t’ve asked you to go north with him if he didn’t mean it. And he may be the strong, silent type, but he ain’t a perfect man neither. He’s done his share of wrong, and he knows it. He's trying his best, just like you. Give it time.”

“You’re right,” said John, nodding. “I know you’re right.”

“And anyway,” said Abigail. “I think I know why he didn’t tell you. About the wedding.”

He looked up from his hands. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, before they left, Mary Beth told me she thought she might be pregnant.”

“She’s pregnant?”

Abigail nodded. “Now, shotgunning like this? She probably told Arthur, and he just…he pulled the trigger. It’s like him.”

John sighed. He hadn’t thought of his, but it seemed fair. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he said. “Especially after Eliza, Mary. All that drama. He wouldn’t wanna wait too long if he could help it.”

“See? It ain’t so bad.”

John nodded. “Thanks, Abbie.”

“You’re welcome.” She patted him on the knee. A moment went by, as if it were nothing. As if it were old times, in Denver where they met.

She let her hand linger out of some hopeful feeling inside. He took it, gentle. It was as she had wanted but not what she expected. She let him hold her hand, studying her knuckles as if he had forgotten what they looked like. It was real nice. Then he laced their fingers together, firmly, and he looked right at her. He had this way. John wasn't the most complex man she'd ever known, but he was true. His eyes were very dark, like these molten trees. He had his hair knotted back so she could see his whole face—the mean scars that brought back scary memories. But he was brave, and he wore them bravely. He was looking at her with feeling. She was hesitant, but eventually, she offered him the same.

“What’s the matter?” she said.

“Nothing,” he said. He put a little bit of the hair behind her ear. She flinched at first. She wasn't used to it. But she was actually glad. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "It's fine."

“It’s just—you’re smart, Abbie," he said. "Real smart. You know that? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She blushed hard, glanced down at her boots. Somewhere outside the window, you could hear a couple of mourning doves, singing their sad song. “Oh, please.”

“I’m serious,” he said, still staring. She looked back, and he held here eyes there. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Abigail.”

“For what?"

“For everything,” he said. "Everything."

She didn’t know what they were doing all of a sudden. “John—”

“Wait,” he said. He shifted toward her. Getting closer. His voice was soft. “Wait. Just let me finish.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, still holding her hand, now in both of his. “For leaving you, alone. All them years ago. I’m sorry for getting drunk and doing stupid shit when I was supposed to be being a father to Jack. I done you wrong, but I just—you’ve stuck by me. You’re here. You’re giving me a second chance, and I don’t know why.”

She was staring at him now, listening to the doves outside. A wind came through as well and shook the window panes. She felt like crying. “It’s because I love you, John Marston,” she said. “Why the hell else would I be here?”

She could hear his breathing. She could smell his skin. She had not been close to him like this in some time. She waited.

Finally, he spoke. “We haven't kissed in so long,” he said, like he was reading her mind. “So long, I’ve almost forgotten what it was. In the beginning, when it was new, and it was…simple. I know it ain’t new no more, and I know it ain’t simple. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“What are you saying?”

“That I love you, too," he said. "I never stopped."

“Oh, John—”

“Can I kiss you?” he said. “If you say no, that's okay, Abbie. I'll understand. I can wait.”

She was hanging by a thread by now. It had been a gamble, but John Marston was good at gambling. Their breathing was all shaky, like a couple of teenagers. She nodded, surprising them both. “Okay,” she said. “Just a kiss.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” he said.

So he leaned in, and he kissed her, and outside the doves were quiet, as if they knew the time had come.

Earlier that day, Arthur and Mary Beth were packing up their horses, getting ready to head southwest toward Emerald Ranch. Hamish went inside, and Mary Beth was standing over by the lake’s edge, tossing rocks into the water. He went to her and smiled.

“I’m gonna miss it,” she said. “That’s all. I like it here.”

“Yeah. I know you do,” he said. Then he took a deep breath and held her hand. “Come on. Walk with me.”

“Where we goin?”

“Not far. Don’t worry.”

They walked along the lake, around it for a little ways. The sun made it look silvery. There were geese and ducks and some deer drinking out on the other side. When they got far enough that they were very alone, they stopped and Mary Beth was quiet, full of appreciation for the beauty in the world around her. “What’s going on, Arthur?” she said.

“Nothing,” he said. “Or, well. I got something for you.”

This shifted her attention. She turned to him. “You do?”

“I do.” He sighed. He reached into his pocket, produced the little velvet box. He gave it to her.

“What’s this?” she said, turning it in her hands.

“It’s a ring,” said Arthur.

She looked at him in some combination of surprise and excitement. “A ring?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Now, if you don’t like it, or you want something different, it’s okay. We can go straight off, buy you what you want after the wedding.”

“The wedding?” she said.

He nodded, very calm. “At the Wintersons,'’” he said. “I hope it’s okay. I’ve already sent for Reverend Swanson and Dutch and Hosea to meet us there. Just them three, plus the Marstons. We can have a party later, with everyone. But for now, I—after talking to Hamish last night, I realized that there’s no good reason to wait. Just no good reason.”

After a moment of what felt like floating, Mary Beth flew forward in her way, held him tightly. She had to be up on her tip-toes. Her hair tickled his chin and nose. “Oh, Arthur.”

He let out a mighty sigh and thanked the lord.

She was crying a little. She dropped back down so she could look at him, wiped her eyes.

"Don't cry," he said.

"It ain't bad," she said. “I promise. These is tears of joy. But Arthur, when did you have the time to find a post office?”

He found this amusing. “I woke up at about four this morning. You was sleeping like a rock, Mary Beth. I rode to Annesburg and paid a messenger double to make sure it gets to Shady Belle by tomorrow morning. Then, I rode back.”

“Arthur,” she said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Now, would you please look at the ring and tell me if it’s okay?”

“Oh, right,” she said. Off in the distance a flock of geese picked up and took off into the air. The ducks went after. She opened the box and looked at the ring, the pretty purple stone, so dainty and royal. She took it out and slipped it onto her finger. It was a touch big, but it would do for the time. She had heard of a trick where she could tie a piece of string to the inside of the band and make it more snug till they could get to a goldsmith and have it sized. “It’s beautiful, Arthur.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Where did you find it?”

“Hamish,” he said. “I tried to discourage him, but he would not take no for an answer.”

This seemed to touch Mary Beth deeply.

He took the empty velvet box and tucked it back into his pocket. Then he took both her hands in his and looked at her. The day was so pretty in the sunlight, next to the silvery lake. “You and me,” he said. “Forever. You okay with that?”

She said yes. He put his arm around her in his casual way. Then they looked out past the lake and to Hamish’s house, where Mary Beth saw Hamish himself, saddling up his own pretty horse named Beull in a way that suggested he was coming with them. It made her happy. The whole thing made her so happy. Then she thought to herself that this was probably the last time she’d be up in this beautiful place for a long while. Despite it, she felt free. She looked up at Arthur as he seemed to be looking out at all of that truth out there, in nature. She’d never even known this place existed till he showed her.

[voidendron]

The Outside: Chapter 63

Series Ask Blog: @asktheoutside

Chapter 63: Failed Fix Chapter Warnings: Swearing, Mentioned Eye Trauma, Minor Blood, Soft Anti Characters: Dr. Iplier, Antisepticeye, Darkiplier, The Host POV: Dr. Iplier

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April 23, 2031, 10:02 AM Breckenridge, Colorado

“Goddammit, Anti, sit still.” Edward reached for the empty folder on the desk at his side and smacked the glitched with it. All that succeeded in was making the glare he’d been given all the more severe.

“Can I leave yet?”

“Why are you in such a rush? You don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“I could be anywhere but here, Doc.”

Edward shook his head and grumbled under his breath. He prodded at the sealed skin of Anti’s throat. The scar was pale, but noticeable. Still, it was just a scar now. Why had that healed over, while Host’s eyes..?

“Quit pokin’ it!”

“Anti!” Edward threw his hand up when it was swatted away. “Stop being difficult!”

At that, the glitch bared his teeth and muttered something to himself. He was like a goddamn child, right down to the temper. Huffing, Edward rolled his eyes.

To say he hadn’t been slightly taken aback when he first caught sight of Anti when Wilford teleported him in would be a lie. No pointed ears, no fangs, or green-tinted skin. He was just…pale, with dark freckles dotting his nose and cheeks. Average in every way aside from the scar on his neck. Edward wouldn’t have even known who he was had they simply passed each other on the street.

“You can leave soon,” he assured, “just hold on, dammit.”

Before turning to the Host’s sleeping form, Edward returned the harsh glare yet again aimed at him.

“Have ya tried cauterizin’ it?”

“I tried many times after he became the Host. It kept undoing itself because it was a set part of his design.” Edward glanced back at the glitch and tapped at his own throat. “Didn’t Henrik try that with your cut and the same happened?”

Crossing his arms, Anti reclined back into the chair Edward slept in. “Yeah? And? It still healed soon as my happy ass stumbled on out here. Tried since gettin’ here?”

“It should have done it itself if that’s the case.” Right? Dark’s broken neck had been unbroken; Anti’s healed over. “I don’t have the supplies to cauterize anyway. And to hell with trusting Wilford to conjure up what I’d need.”

Anti scoffed at that. How did the Septics deal with him? He was already getting on Edward’s nerves! At least Wilford was at work, now. He wasn’t sure he could deal with both of them.

“Bring him to an ER? Come up with some story about why his goddamn eyes are missing?” Anti offered with a brow arched.

Edward ran a hand through his hair; let his gaze drift toward the Host’s sleeping form. He’d thought of that. Of course he had! But… “We don’t want authorities butting their noses in, Anti. What, do you expect them to hear about this man missing his damn eyes and bleeding from the sockets and just go, ‘oh, yeah, nothing questionable here, carry on!’?”

A breath of air that could have almost been a laugh huffed from Dark. He’d otherwise been ignoring the pair as he worked on a resume. His eyes never left the laptop, and Edward shook his head.

“What about Marv?! The fire that almost fuckin’ killed him wasn’t natural, but they figured out a story when police started askin’. Make something up! We already lie ‘bout who we are out here, what’s another little one added to the roster?”

“Fire is a whole lot easier to explain than someone missing his eyes and somehow bleeding from the otherwise undamaged sockets.”

“Then I don’t fuckin’ know,” the glitch growled. “I’m clearly not helpin’ here. Can I go now?”

“Please do! Christ sake.” Edward gestured at Dark, who arched a brow in return.

“If you think I’m lettin’ him teleport me, you’re insane.”

Edward had to resist the urge to scream into a pillow. “Wilford is at work. I can’t teleport. Dark can. If it’s such a big deal, can’t you just travel through power lines or something?”

“Only if I’m fuckin’ familiar enough with the route. I’d probably end up in freakin’…Canada or some shit tryin’ to get to LA from here.”

“Then wait for Wilford to get off work and quit whining.”

He turned his back to Anti despite the Septic’s exasperated sigh and shook the Host’s shoulder gently to rouse him. He helped the older Ego sit up, then peeled the bandages away from his face. Reaching down for his bag, Edward set it on the bed near the Host’s legs and grabbed the towel that had been draped on top of it.

He dabbed at the blood tracks down the other’s cheeks as he reached blindly for his penlight. His shoulders sagged slightly when he noticed no change upon shining the light into empty eye sockets.

The Host was still pallid, and the sockets and skin around them still too sensitive. He grimaced as Edward started cleaning them. The doctor couldn’t help but notice how his fingers tightened into the bed sheet and he clenched his jaw. He finished as quickly as he could.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.” Short, simple, straight to the point. Tired. And very much unlike how the Host would usually answer.

Edward side-eyed Dark at that. Anti just slumped lower in the chair and frowned.

“Y’know…” the glitch murmured. His brows furrowed when Edward turned attention to him. “Host’s missin’ his eyes. The two of us,” he gestured between Dark and himself, “weren’t missin’ a thing.”

Edward frowned as he turned back to the Host to start wrapping new bandages around his head. “And?”

“Dark’s neck just had to realign itself. Mine kinda…‘stitched’ itself back together. What’re Host’s eyes tryin’ to do?”

“What are Host’s…” What if..? “Are you saying the sockets are trying to fix something that doesn’t exist?”

Anti offered a shrug. Dark had perked up a little with sudden interest. As tired as he was, even the Host’s brows had raised. It seemed too simple, but…maybe. Maybe.

What if that’s all it was? Dark’s neck was aligned correctly now. Anti’s throat healed over. Host’s eyes were gone. They had been for years. What if it was just…a “disagreement” between the Figmental Plane and Outside? The Outside trying to fix something it couldn’t. In turn…

“Host’s body is attacking itself.”

“Doctor—” Edward waved a hand to interrupt Dark.

“No, no! I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this, but I think Anti’s right!”

“Hey!”

“Shh. Just. Listen.” Host had perked up considerably now. Still looked sick as a dog, but Edward had his—all of their—attention now. “The Figmental Plane recognized it as a set part of the Host’s design. It’s why his—and your—injuries never killed you when they would have killed the rest of us. This plane doesn’t recognize something so…so inhuman as being natural, or possible, or what have you, and is trying to fix it!”

Edward ran a finger across his throat. “It’s why your injuries healed upon coming out here! The Outside is trying to do the same for Host, but in his case, there’s nothing to fix and it’s causing his body to attack itself. It’s trying to figure out how to fix something that it can’t.”

He turned to the Ego in question. He couldn’t help but furrow his brows when he noticed the small, twin specks of blood already soaking through the bandages. “His condition is getting worse because this dimensional plane can’t figure out what’s wrong and how to fix what’s wrong.”

“It could kill him.” Dark had set the laptop aside and was leaning forward on his knees. He was studying the Host’s pale face with…Edward didn’t quite know how to describe the expression. Like a…very well-veiled concern.

Anti pursed his lips. “You really gotta figure somethin’ out.”

Edward could only not. “And soon.”

[britishb3atlemania]

wow i keep feeling rlly giddy and dumb bc like!! i see cute boy! he c me! he mssg me! we hang! i ask to get drink wit me! he say yes! its wholesome and friendly! but then he invites me to his! its nice! he kiss mi! its nice! he ask if we wanna go to his bedroom! i say no thank u! i am proud of myself! bc i always say yes bc my relationship with sex is fuked up so im feelin powerful to say no! esp bc its someone i actually wanna fuk! and hes sweet and cute! im strong yai! and he says thats totally cool and we can just make out! he looks cute topless! he said i look real cute topless! wow it gets steamy wit other tings thats not makeout (all consensual)! i am strong again and say oo gotta go home now thank yew! bc 5min longer i woulda just fuked him lmao! he walked me to the subway! cute! its cute! im just so used to rejection 9 times out of 10 so its fuckin insane this wasnt another one of those! hes dorky and funny! he loves frogs and possums and chihuahua dogs! cute big dumb nose! cute sad ringo eyes! cute lips! he said he rlly likes my lips! hes got cute tattoos! he likes my white ppl jokes! he reassures me that me dragging canada is totally fine (hes canadian)! he wants to show me scariest movie ever! i told him ill shit my pants but ok!!! so we will c if that happen...!!! he likes my cat earrings! he genuinely remembers and brings up any tini lil dumb cute fact i mention like specific luigi memes or dumb paul mccartney facts! we are both not looking for anything serious! its fukin gr8! it just happen on tuesday but im already too dumb and excited and i hope it doesnt blow up in my face soon! bc like.... we seem to b on the same pg with this! just two losers who like to doodle and freak out abt animals and actually wanna hear what the other person has to say abt things! but we also wanna... b sex-c!!! oh gee! did i mention hes cute!!! also hes 28!! thats fukin hot k oKAY! also i think hes bi! also hot! as a fellow bi person! fuk ya!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I like, really need more Android/Deviant Egos? Like, the reader finds Anti and or Sean and take them home, fixing him up while he’s still conscious, and he’s confused. And it takes a long time for him to warm up to them but at one point he risks his life for them and reader is so scared yet angry at him for doing that cause they didn’t want him hurt. Maybe the Jericho Deviants could be the ones trying to hurt the reader and then they see how reader cares for Anti/Sean?

Yessss I need more android/deviant bois in my life, too. I’ll do Anti for this one so I hope you enjoy!

“Why are ya helpin’ me?”

Blinking slowly, you looked into the green-haired android’s eyes. For about five minutes or so you’ve been trying to patch up the wound on his neck that leaked with Thirium blood.

How he could have been slashed there and still speak was beyond you, but then again androids worked in mysterious ways. Even though humans created them it seemed that you didn’t know every possible thing about them.

But to answer the question Anti, aka NMA500, asked you, it took you a few moments to think. “Hmm…well..honestly I’ve always liked to help androids and treat them like people.” You smiled.

“…even the ones that hold knives to yer throat?” He countered, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“I know you were just scared. You were hurt, abused by your owner. And that incident left you frustrated and terrified. You didn’t know who to trust.” You reasoned as you resumed fixing his wound. he stayed quiet, but you could see his LED flicker from red to yellow, indicating that he was processing this new information. And it remained that way until you were finally done, in which it turned to blue.

Then you opened the mini-fridge beside you, which contained a few packets of blue blood, grabbing one and handing it to him. “Here you go. Drink up. You probably lost a ton back there.”

“Where did ya find these?” Anti questioned as he took it from your hand.

“..what’s this? A Q&A all of the sudden?” You chuckled, although you immediately stopped when he glared up at you, LED glowing red. “..I’m kidding. I found a few crates in Jericho, an abandoned freight ship.”

He blinked. “Jericho? That’s a dumb name..”

“Well..apparently not to the deviants who settled there,” you shrugged as you closed the fridge. “The stories go that the first androids who broke free of their masters’ control ran away and made Jericho their refuge, salvaging stuff from shutdown androids. I managed to gain their trust and be allowed access to its location anytime as long as I cover my tracks.”

“..hm..so that’s where ya get all these biocomponents and whatnot.” Anti ingested some of the blue blood. 

“Yeah. They’re tough to find because they’re scattered all over the ship, but sometimes they’re restocked, so I just grab as many as I need.”

He shot you a questionable look. “Ain’t that stealin’, though? I mean..if someone’s already livin’ there-”

“I mean I only take them little-by-little, so they don’t notice.” You shrugged. “You know..you just gotta do what you gotta do to help others.”

“Hmph..” The deviant said nothing more and continued drinking the blue blood. Once he was done he sighed. “So I guess the best option is stayin’ here, right?”

“If you want to.”

“….wait..really?” He did a double-take.

“You’re a free bot, aren’t you?” You chuckled softly. “You’re not tethered to anybody. As long as you keep that wound and LED covered up you can live a normal life. But your best bet is in Canada since there’s no android laws and-”

“I’ll stay with ya.”

You did a double-take, staring at him with surprise. “Really? Are you sure?”

“If that’s okay with you. I mean..you’re the only human I can really trust,” his gaze shifted to the box of biocomponents. “Ya took me in and patched me up even though I could’ve killed ya earlier. So..I guess it’s the least I can do. Unless ya want me outta here so badly.”

“Oh no, no, you’re fine here, Anti.” A smile appeared on your face as you placed a hand on his shoulder. You can stay as long as you want.”

Anti’s Thirium pump skipped a beat when you touched him. But he relaxed as, for once in his life, that sort of touch was friendly instead of hostile.

It was a nice feeling that he wanted to get use to.………

For several weeks now, Anti has been helping you salvage parts from Jericho and you continued helping runaway deviants with repairs and whatnot. He would sometimes get jealous when you’re interacting with them more than him during the day, although he never admitted it.

You could tell he was growing a bit bored hanging around the workshop, so you decided to take him to Jericho, making sure he had a bag so he could help you grab components.

Fortunately you knew of a secret pathway in the sewers, as the way above-ground can only be followed by androids. Even though Anti was more than capable of doing that, he didn’t want to raise any suspicion, so he decided to go wherever you go.

It was a rather quick mission, but once you both snagged some parts and blue blood packets, you made your way back through the sewers quietly.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

The cold voice made you come to a screeching halt. You and Anti turned to see a group of deviants approach. One of them, who you guessed was their ringleader, made his way to the front, a gun in his hand.

For a moment he stared at you, and then to your bags. “You’re stealing from us.”

“Yeah no shit.” Anti spat, although you hushed him and put your arm out, making him move behind you. “What’re ya doing??”

“Just stay quiet and stay behind me.” You ordered, before you looked back at the group. “I’m [y/n]. Don’t worry. I’m on your side. What’s your name?“

“My name is Markus,” the leader answered, stepping closer to you. “How did you find Jericho?”

“…the deviants who were settled there before you entrusted me with its location.” Setting down your bag, you rolled up your sleeve, revealing a tattoo that the deviants were all-too familiar with.

“What??”

“How did..??”

“Who gave a human the right to access our hideout??”

“This is insane!”

“We need to kill them before they-!”

Markus suddenly put a hand up, silencing their outcries, before he lowered it and looked at you. Then a female android walked over to him. “Markus we can’t let them get away,” she urged. “The people before us may have trusted them, but we shouldn’t. They’re thieves.”

“But North-” He glanced at her.

“Humans have taken away our freedom, our rights, our lives…and now you’re just gonna let them take away our only means of survival??”

“Wait hang on, hang on.” You took a few steps towards them. “Didn’t you hear me before? I’m on your side. I repair deviants and-”

However, in the blink of an eye, North snatched the gun from Markus’ hands and aimed it at you. “Woah holy shit.” You staggered backwards, immediately putting your hands up as your heart began racing a mile a minute. “L-Listen..this is all a big misunderstanding. Please..p-put the gun down..”

“[Y/n]!”

“Stay there, Anti!” You ordered.

North looked past you, gazing at the android behind you, before a scowl appeared on her face. “You monster. Look at what you did to him! You’ve hurt him and now you’re forcing him to steal from us?!! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t put this gun down-”

“BECAUSE YA WON’T LISTEN TO THEM ONE FUCKIN’ SECOND!!”

You blinked as Anti stood in front of you, unsheathing the knife that was on his belt loop. But before you could say anything, he scowled darkly at the ground, not caring that the gun was on him now.

“North, that’s enough,” Markus told her. “We don’t shoot one of our own people!”

“But he’s helping them steal-!!”

“We’re only stealin’ so that [y/n] can help deviants like us!!” Anti snapped, LED flashing red. “For fuck’s sake ya think every single goddamn human is a piece of shit who despises us?!! Yes I had my fuckin; fair share of abuse, but they’re the only one who would take me in even when I threatened their life!” He pointed at you. “They run a shop, repairin’ deviants and givin’ them a second chance. There’s a good fuckin’ reason why the ones before ya trusted ‘em with Jericho’s location!! So drop the fuckin’ gun before I make ya.”

For a few, heart-pounding moments, nobody moved a muscle. And then, finally, North lowered her weapon, which was immediately snatched by Markus, who put it in his coat. 

“Violence is never the answer. This human is willing to reason with us. Even if they did steal, they only did so to help those who can’t make it to Jericho survive. We should have listen to them.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, putting your arms down. “Th-Thank you, Markus.” Then you stood beside Anti. “I swear I’m on your side. I promise I’ll never, ever disclosed Jericho’s location to anyone except deviants seeking freedom.”

“I believe you,” he reassured you calmly. “Keep the supplies. But from here on out, just let us know if you need anything, alright?”

Nodding in understanding, you tapped Anti’s arm, bringing him out of his hostile state as he looked back at you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s head home.

After a pause, he relaxed his shoulders and turned back around, picking up the bag you dropped and handing it to you, before the two of you began to head out, while Markus and his followers watched.

…….

“You’re an idiot you know that?” You huffed as you stored the blue blood packets into the mini-fridge.

Anti shot you a look. “What? Did ya honestly think I was gonna stand there and watch ya get shot?!” He grunted.

“You should have stayed behind me like I told you to! I care about you a lot and I don’t like seeing you get hurt! You’ve been in enough pain already!”

He flinched for a moment, staring at you in surprise as you turned back around, before he frowned slightly and walked behind you. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around you, resting his head on your shoulder.

The gesture confused you, dispersing your anger as you felt your cheeks heat up. You heard him sniffle and sighed softly, calmly patting his head. “I’m sorry, Anti..I didn’t mean to yell..”

“I-I’m not…upset about that,” he mumbled. “I-I care about ya a lot, too. I’ve never, ever o-opened up this much to any human before. N-No human’s ever..been this kind to me. I was so goddamn scared I-I’d lose ya, [y/n].”

“..Anti..”

The deviant lifted his head, sniffling as you turned around to face him. You smiled and hugged him. “I..I can’t thank you enough for standing up for me today. You made the right call.”

It wasn’t long before Anti returned the smile, his LED lighting up sky blue. He embraced you, too, sighing with content as he closed his eyes.

{ Companion ^ }

[missvalerietanner]

Last weekend, I was jet lagged and had to rest. This past weekend... turns out I needed more rest. XD But I finally got everything organized, and it’s time to share... 

I WENT TO CANADA!

As a birthday present to myself, back in June, I filled out all the paperwork and got myself a passport ‘cause, damn it, I want to travel. Just three little months later in September, I had to help my boss check in for his flight for a work thing ( he’s not so computer savvy), and I got antsy. I wanted to be flying somewhere too. And I wanted to give my passport a trial run. SO! My aunt had mentioned wanting to see Niagara Falls, and I was cool with seeing Canada cause 1. passport test, and 2. Lewis Black’s words haunt me: “Even drunk on a bet, you make it to Canada.” (in reference to the fact that George W. had never been outside the country. 

So I started planning, told my aunt (she was thrilled by the idea), and in a matter of two weeks, we had the trip laid out, plan tickets bought, hotel room reserved, and we were good to go.

We stayed in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. We flew into the Buffalo airport in New York, got a rental car, and drove across the Rainbow Bridge ‘cause I figured that’d be pretty cool. Our flight got into Buffalo at midnight, Friday morning (Nov. 2nd), and we reached our hotel in Canada at about 2AM. Should’ve slept, but we were both too jazzed to fall asleep ‘cause we were excited and we could see the freakin’ falls from our hotel room so we stayed up until about 4AM just planning the next day’s adventures and finally crashed. Then we woke up at about 8AM. Insane.

Friday, we shopped at Niagara on the Lake, this cute shopping district about 30 mins north from our hotel (Sheraton on the Falls, if you’re curious). 

Saturday, I had bought us tickets to the boat tours with Hornblower Cruises. We got on the first boat at 10AM and froze our butts off in that 40 degree weather while getting hosed by the mist coming off the Falls. But as I have told everyone, “It’s cool. My face caught most of it.”

That water was cold, but it was revitalizing. We got back to the hotel room, and my aunt said, “Don’t you feel refreshed?” And, you know what? I fucking did. I felt, like, not “born again,” but definitely close to that. I felt... pure and alive.

After the boat ride, which was only 20 mins, I drove us up to Toronto ‘cause, why not, right? We were RIGHT there. Well, not right there, but only two hours away. XD The drive was nice, though, and there are some beautiful bridges along the way. (Though, I never really adjusted to the speed limit signs being in kilometers per hour versus miles. But that’s my fault and America’s. We seriously need to be standard.)

Anyhoo, Toronto was large and loud and busy and kinda insane. Though with 2.2 or so (I think the sign said?) million people, it’s like the crowds of Manhattan with the insanity of L.A. (I assume?). The city’s pretty, though. The architecture of the residential areas was so homey and 1980s feeling--I loved it. So nostalgic and well-kept... like something out of a sitcom. Every yard was perfect. Every car maintained and polished. It was lovely.

On the way out of Toronto (we just drove in and pretty much back out ‘cause it was such a long drive to get back to the hotel), we drove through a primarily Jewish community and saw some of them heading to church--I assume by the way they were all gussied up. That was awesome and definitely not something you happen upon in Tennessee. 

And, look, I don’t wanna come off as creepy, but on the way into Toronto, we stopped at the ONLY SHELL GAS STATION WE EVER SAW, and bought a shit ton of candy for the ride. Then we spot this super adorable Jewish boy, and I made a few jokes about offering him candy (not where he could hear me, obviously). He stared at us as we passed. We stared at him, and I joked that’d he’d puff up his collar and tell his buddies: “These babes were checkin’ ME out.” But in reality, it’s probably more like: “These weird Americans from Pennsylvania were staring at me.”

We had Penn state license plates on our rental car, and whenever I passed people in traffic, I’d say, “Let show ‘em how we drive in Pennsylvania.”

We are NOT from Pennsylvania.

Then on Sunday, our flight was at 7:27 PM in Buffalo, the plan was to just get to the airport and wait there and be bored. But stupid Daylight Savings Time totally fucked us. Not to mention we switched from Central to Eastern time while flying, so we lost an hour then gained one then lost it again on the way home. Fucking stupid.

Anyway, we accidentally checked out of the hotel an hour early ‘cause we thought it was noon (spolier: it was only 11 AM). I realize then when we’re leaving in the car--too late. We cross the border, eat lunch at an Irish pub in... I forget what city it was--but upstate New York outside Albany and about twenty minutes from the Buffalo airport. The place was called Connor’s, and it was fuckin’ delish.

Then we returned the rental car, chilled in the airport for like five hours (that went by faster than you’d think), flew to North Carolina for a layover (which turned into a stress-filled sprint walk, as Daniel Tosh calls it, to our boarding gate which we were late arriving too ‘cause our previous pilot had to circle the damn state of NC ‘cause some jackass was blocking up the runway), and then finally back to Nashville.

All in all, the trip was a blast. It cost me roughly $1000 for the three day trip. We split the hotel room and plane tickets, but I paid for the rental car, gas, and the boat tour. And then I spent roughly $400 on souvenirs and food. Not a bad chunk of change for such a relaxing vacation. That weekend felt SO long, but every minute of it was awesome.

OH! We also ate twice at this ice cream place on the corner from the hotel (well, actually inside the hotel) called Sweet Jesus. Look it up. That place is fucking wonderful.

Canada is lovely and so so peaceful. Probably the best thing about the trip was leaving behind all the bullshit of American culture. We are seriously bogged down here with so much shit every day and so many things demanding our attention and our money and... UGH! I didn’t feel any of that in Canada. Granted, being on vacation and not at work helped, but even still, the country just seemed laid back and calm. 

We all need a little Canada in our life.

Also one place we ate at served tiny packets of peanut butter at breakfast time along with typical tiny packets of jams and jellys. Totally stole one. Totally awesome. 

And at that Shell gas station, I spotted these:

They taste more like hot sauce on a potato chip rather than ketchup, but awesome to see. Oh, and I bought us Tim Horton’s coffee one morning, ‘cause I just HAD to. And boy do Canadians love their Wendy’s and Subway’s. We saw those two eateries everywhere. And we passed a marijuana store which was pretty nifty too.

We didn’t go in, despite what the guys at work say.

Ready for some pictures? :D

This was the view from our hotel room on the 8th floor. We could open the door and just get such a perfect view of the Falls. Every night, they lit up the Falls in an array of colors, but when they colored them for the American and Canadian flags... just wow.

Beautiful homes in Toronto. (And the Mini Cooper that was behind me FOR MILES and probably getting pissed ‘cause he’s in every damn shot. XD)

More houses. I love architecture, o.k.!

Made my aunt grab this shot while I drove. 

Another shot of the Falls, but lit in blue, white, and green. 

And a shot on Sunday morning at about 9AM (we thought it was 10AM XD). Sunday was the only sunny day while we were there, but I didn’t mind. We did a lot of walking--I mean, A LOT--and I’d rather walk under clouds than the sun any day.

And this is Connor’s, the Irish pub we stopped it in New York. 

Here’s a shot of us on the Hornblower boat. The distorted look is ‘cause it was shot with my cheapo-knock off Go-Pro. The big green building in the center back is our hotel. ;p

‘Nother shot from the boat with the CamPark. Those are the American side of the Falls.

The Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Probably the best angle the CamPark caught on the boat.

There were also fireworks over the Falls on Saturday night. I overheard some women in the hotel saying there was some winter festival starting that night (Nov. 3rd). Dunno, but the fireworks were beautiful.

At long last, a shot of some sweet Canadian money ‘cause I still have the $5 bill and one of the $2 coins. I love the look of their money. 

[/content sigh]

...I would absolutely go back.

The even better news is that my aunt knows this chruch group that travels around a lot (like, right now, they’re in freakin’ Sierra Leone!), and they’re planing an Italy trip next June.

YES! Be still my heart!

My aunt signed us both up, and barring an unforeseen accident or a lobotomy, I could be in Italy in June 2019. And the chosen dates line up with my birthday, so I could very well spend my 30th birthday in FREAKIN’ ITALY, MAN! How cool would that be? And yeah, I’m not much for church and religion, but I am willing to put up with anything if it gets me to Italy. XD Plus, Italy has so many beautiful churches I’d love to see, and a church group damn better get me there.

[autisticlancemcclain]

wip wednesday 12

some links for your convenience (and a list of some of the wips in question):

space whale au: 1

the loneliest series: 1 2 3 4

a mother's love: 1 2

MIA lance au: 1

blade lance au: 1 2 3

the applebees universe: 1 2 3

flower crown au: 1

and a list of the potential wips:

galtean au w a sprinkling of tangled inspriation

team has to secure an alliance with a planet that is like a giant ancient rome basically and has the military prowess to match and it is delicate enough that keith and lance are not allowed to help with negotiations and instead must just sit around and look pretty and amuse themselves in a big ass villa via falling in at least 40k of slowburn in love and aware but not letting ourselves yet love canon fic based off that taylor swift song. uh. the one with the spilling wine in the bathtub. dress

adult klance shoved together in a cross canada train car simultaneously going through a quarter life crisis modern au

keith really hates his dumbass realter job and his realter job hates him and gives him dilapidated ass houses to sell and in one such house he meets a newly created and very angry about it ghost named lance who has a Personal Problem with keith as if its his fault he's fuckin' dead modern au

journey to the centre of the earth au ft. keith who just wants to keep the memory of his brother alive thru geeky geology, his very emo thirteen year old niece hana, and a very intelligent but highly competitive mountain guide who seems to hate him a little for some reason and unfortunately looks very good doing so. this au is already partially written

superman keith lois lane lance au

mad chemist youtuber lance and awkward but hugely famous actor keith who like a dumbass tells the entire internet that he has the hots for said youtuber who then proceeds to play hard to get bc he is a shit nilered au

unbelievably insane and heavy period piece circa venice 1492 with emotionally agonised and Falling angel lance and cathedral stonemason keith who treats him as if hes holy

[your-dietician]

Health Awaits: Spirit Adrift's Nate Garrett on Conquering Alcoholism Through Physical Fitness

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/fitness/health-awaits-spirit-adrifts-nate-garrett-on-conquering-alcoholism-through-physical-fitness/

Health Awaits: Spirit Adrift's Nate Garrett on Conquering Alcoholism Through Physical Fitness

photo: Dillon Vaughn

Nate Garrett (Spirit Adrift, ex-Gatecreeper) is a survivor. We’re all survivors of something, but Garrett’s something was as big as it gets, a 15-year bout with alcoholism that left him at death’s door. At the brink, he chose to live.

Living is a struggle, and out of struggle comes strength. Today Garrett is in top shape and writing music nonstop. He tells us how he got this far, and what he does to stay on the straight and narrow.

(A good companion to this interview is BJ Fogg’s book Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything, which teaches techniques for things Garrett mentions, such as starting out small and replacing bad habits with good ones.)

Given the epidemic, let’s start out with mental fitness. Do you “work out” in that way?

The primary reason I work out physically is for the mental effect. One of the main things I’m trying to mitigate by working out so much is the latent rage that I have. I guess it’s from traumatic events in my life. It takes a lot to get me to the point that I get extremely angry. But when I do, it’s really bad.

My anxiety is at an all-time low. I’ve always struggled with anxiety so bad to the point that it would give me insomnia, and I would have panic attacks. I can’t actually remember the last time I had a full-blown panic attack. So I’m doing really good, man. I mitigate all that stuff with physical activity, writing music, staying busy with music, reading. I’m getting really into stoicism. I’m getting better and better at practicing that, day to day.

The drug and alcohol recovery work that I do every day – that helps immensely. I’ve found a new group of guys that I’ve been hanging with on Zoom that’s awesome. I do it every morning. It’s a multi-tiered approach. That shit can sneak up on you. No one thing for me is going to fix my mental issues. I have to stay fluid and vigilant with it.

Tell me about the morning work.

I found that during this whole [pandemic], routine has been awesome for me. I’ve been doing sun salutation for a really long time. It gets your breathing going. It centers you in the morning, stretches everything out. And then I’ll walk the dogs. It’s kind of a core workout because they’re really strong, and they pull because they’re still puppies. Then I get home, and at the same time every morning, I meet with the group of guys.

Again, it’s about centering yourself. It’s about being vigilant about your thoughts. Your thoughts begin to dictate your actions, which begin to dictate your habits, which over the course of weeks and months and years—then that’s your life. Your thoughts become your actions become your habits become your life. Your life is essentially habit on a long enough timeline. The key is breaking bad habits or reducing bad habits and increasing good habits.

When you got sober, did you stop one big habit cold turkey, or did you gradually stop small habits?

The gradual thing didn’t work for me, and I don’t think that works for a true alcoholic. My drinking career was about 15 years. I started when I was 12 or so, stopped when I was 27. Throughout that drinking career, there were countless times that I was like, “I’m going to stop.” But stopping forever never seemed possible or appealing in any way. The first time I got drunk, I was like, “I’m going to die drunk, because this fixes everything wrong with me, and it’s worth it to live a shorter life and die a horrible death if I get to be drunk every day and all of my problems are solved.” But the problem is, eventually you find out that dying a physical death from alcoholism is not good. It’s not quick. It doesn’t just end. It’s really shitty.

Your situation had a name, alcoholism and drug addiction is its sibling. But I would argue that most people have something similar. It just doesn’t look as dire. Maybe one is trapped in a bad relationship or in a job from which one needs money. What would be your advice to people wanting to drop that monkey off their back?

You just have to recognize the internal window of opportunity for action. It might take years for that to come. For the last two or three years of my drinking, I didn’t want to do it. I was trapped. And, yeah, it’s not just drugs or alcohol that can convince you that you need them. But I think we all have an internal gauge for our true selves and our true purpose and our true path to serenity and peace in this life. It’s been called different things by different people. Crowley calls it the holy guardian angel, our truest version of ourselves that’s connected to our purpose in this life.

Any day that you wake up could be the day that you are given whatever chemical reaction in your head that creates some kind of mood or some perspective shift where you say, “Fuck it, today is the day that this ends.” You don’t have to change your whole life in that moment. It’s corny, but you just take one step. Like Harley Flanagan, whom you just spoke to, said, if you’re sitting watching Netflix, get down and do a few pushups. And don’t feel bad if you can only do five pushups, or one or zero. And then just do that the next day, again.

Dude, six years ago, I was dying. I was basically in a state of paranoid schizophrenia. I had drunk myself into a complete mental illness that I didn’t even know was in me, or that I didn’t even know it was possible for me to experience. My internal organs were failing. I couldn’t eat. All I could do was drink alcohol. And if I stopped drinking alcohol on my own at home, I was going to die. Talk about an impossible condition. I really truly didn’t see a way out of it. I was certain I was going to die miserable and insane. But six years later, I’ve never been happier. And I’m not special. I just took a little bit of action.

Garrett in his home gym.

Did you pursue fitness when you were a drunk?

Hell no [laughs]. I was too fucked up.

Do you think physical fitness filled the space that alcoholism left?

Yeah, partially, and re-engaging and falling back in love with the stuff I was doing before I got in such bad shape. Falling back in love with listening to music and writing music. Falling back in love with interacting with people. I wasn’t interacting with any people at the end of my drinking at all, except the people in my head that didn’t actually exist.

When I was growing up, I was very active in sports. I always loved doing outdoors stuff. I played baseball for a really long time. I was a really good pitcher. My best friend growing up was a state champion wrestler in Oklahoma and a Golden Gloves boxer. We started a little amateur boxing group between our friends. We would just box each other in the front yard. I started lifting weights in high school. I really dug lifting weights and listening to Carnivore or Black Flag. That stuff always helped me with dealing with trauma and pain in my life, even from an early age.

But when the drinking and craziness took over, all of that stuff took a back seat to the real priority, which was staying out of my mind 24 hours a day, for years. By the end of my drinking, I wasn’t capable of doing anything. I couldn’t even eat. I was weak and dying. I had a terminal condition, and I still treat it to this day.

One of the first things that I did coming out of detox—we went to Target, and I bought running shoes and a pair of shorts. And I just started running, and running, and running. I was running all the time, every day. I think that helped me physically from the damage I’d done to myself. But it also burned up a lot of that obsessive excess energy that had no outlet. Alcohol had been my outlet for all this obsessive, crazy energy. So I wanted to make sure I didn’t just stop that obsession and sit there with no new obsession and no place for that [energy] to go.

After you got sober, you got back into lifting weights. Tell me about that.

The first serious weightlifting memory that I have was two years later, on tour with Cannibal Corpse. Alex Webster—who you should definitely talk to for this, he’s a fitness guy, a big runner—he came out with the sectioned dumbbells from which you can pull out different weights. A couple of guys on the crew busted out a fuckin’ bar and plates and all this stuff. And like I said, when I was 17, 18, I was big on compound lifting, like bench press, squats. But these dudes got me into deadlifting. And I was hooked immediately, to the point that we were doing it every day. And on subsequent tours with Gatecreeper, Eric Wagner and myself would bring a bar and plates and rack, and we would do deadlifts and squats and bench presses every day that we could.

Are Cannibal Corpse putting the rack and weights below the bus?

Yeah, underneath. For us, it was way more of a pain in the ass. There was skepticism from some of the other guys in Gatecreeper at first because we just had a trailer. But it worked out. We figured out a system. We put the plates up in the front corner. We put all the weight stuff in the front of the trailer so that we could unload the gear, bust the stuff out on the street, work out real quick, and put it back. At the end of the night, it’s already in there, out of the way; we put the gear back in and go.

When you say street, you mean next to the venue.

Yeah. We played House of Blues in New Orleans, which is right in the middle of the French Quarter. We had this motherfucker set up on a main street in the French Quarter. We were doing heavy squats, and, man, it was fun. We met some characters doing that, all over the world. In Canada, we had some drunk guy fall into the bar and almost knock it over because he was trying to show us how it was done. In New Orleans, there was this dude from Oklahoma who was a former football coach. He came over and started talking shit to all of us about our technique. I just kept calling him, “Coach”. That was fun. A drug dealer came over and did some squats with us.

When are you doing these workouts before the show?

On the tour that we had all that equipment, it would be after load-in and before doors. On the last Spirit Adrift tour, I would do resistance band stuff and shadowboxing. On the last tour I did with Gatecreeper, I would actually find the closest boxing gym and go fuck around, which was really fun, to see each individual city’s boxing gyms. If I couldn’t find a boxing gym, I would just go to a regular gym and run or lift weights. I did that every day of that tour.

Garrett with Maleek Jackson at his boxing gym in Philly.

Tell me about staying sober on tour. Obviously, you’re seeing drinking and substance abuse around you.

It might actually make it easier. We run into people that probably shouldn’t be drinking and doing drugs the way that they are. A lot of fellow musicians and fans will talk to me when they’re fucked up about not wanting to be fucked up. So it’s a good reminder.

The program that I’m in, if you do it right, it works. I’ve never seen it not work with somebody that actually puts the effort in and does it. One of the things that happens early on is that the obsession is lifted. No one knows how far into sobriety that will be. But it’s happened to every single person that works the program that I’m in. At one point the obsession was lifted for me. It was well before I went back on tour.

Another thing that helps is seeing people. I know a few people that have kind of followed in my footsteps. There’s people whose footsteps I followed in also. It’s inspiring to see somebody that’s struggling and know that by saving my own life and improving my own life, that it may lay some groundwork for somebody to follow suit. That’s all way better than whatever fleeting experience I would have by getting drunk, which would inevitably ruin my life in the end.

Nita Strauss said that calories count on the road. Would you agree with her?

Yeah. I’m probably more active on tour than at home, despite all the sitting in a van. There’s a lot of walking. I load the gear every single night. I think I might eat more frequently on tour than I do at home. But I try to be super mindful. Thor from Swans wrote that thing about touring years ago, and one of the things he talked about was eating oranges for fiber, or just eating a piece of fruit. And I’m real big on that. You can get an apple and a banana almost anywhere—at a truck stop, in any state.

It’s a mental health thing. I don’t like feeling like shit. And there’s enough stuff on tour that builds up to make you feel like shit that you don’t need to be adding on to it in any way, shape, or form. You’re not going to get the right amount of sleep, which is really difficult for me. I read that a lack of sleep leads to an increase in negative thoughts, and I was like, “Oh, wow, that explains a lot.” I don’t have a capacity for an increase in negative thoughts. On tour, sometimes I’m like, god, I literally want to fucking kill everybody, and I don’t know why. So, I definitely don’t want to exacerbate an already fucked up, twisted brain by eating like shit.

Sometimes you have to. We eat a lot of Taco Bell on tour because I feel like it’s the lesser of the fast food evils. Even if the quality is shit, beans and rice will provide you with some protein and stuff like that. I eat as much fruit and vegetables as humanly possible. I hit grocery stores as much as I possibly can. I like to keep a stock of fruit and vegetables and kombucha. Kombucha is huge. I drink that stuff every day if I can.

What does it do for you?

Part of it is that it burns my throat and my esophagus in the same way that whiskey did, which is really nice. It just makes me feel good. It makes my blood feel a little on fire. I joke that it’s like a microdose of alcohol. I’ve been drinking kombucha since I got sober, and it hasn’t led to anything bad happening, so I think it’s OK.

What’s your diet like at home?

Pretty good. I’m not that strict on anything. My wife works for Whole Foods, so she’ll bring home good groceries. We do a lot of smoothies and fruit in the morning, usually some kind of chicken thing for lunch, just basically experimenting with all the different ways you can eat chicken. Lots of rice and veggies and stuff like that. We’ll plan a meal out where we’ll go fucking insane. But for the most part, simple meals at home.

Where do you get health and fitness cues from?

Right after I got sober, I started listening to the Joe Rogan podcast. I really enjoy it, man. I do get some of it from following MMA fighters. I’m really, really obsessed with MMA and boxing, more so MMA these days. David Goggins—when I found out about that guy, I started religiously following him.

Tell me about stoicism. What have you been reading?

A couple years ago I read Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, which is kind of *the* book for stoicism. Before that, Marcus [Bryant, Spirit Adrift drummer] gave me the Tao Te Ching, which is proto-stoicism in certain ways. Most recently, I went and got Ryan Holiday’s books. There’s three of them. I read all three of them real quick. They’re almost like “Stoicism for Dummies,” and I don’t mean that as an insult at all. I think he would probably agree with that. I’m going to keep reading, because I like it a lot. Also, the recovery program I’m in, it’s an amalgamation of a lot of different things, but it draws heavily from stoicism. It took me a while to realize that. I think that’s where it started creeping into my life, through recovery.

For working out at home, what do you have, and what do you do?

I have a—I think PRx is the company—it’s a foldout rack. And I got a foldout bench in the garage. I do squats and overhead press, pullups, deadlifts, any sort of super-heavy compound lifting out there. We have a workout room which is more where my wife does her thing. I have an Aqua Bag in there, which is great. It’s just a big bag filled with water that you punch. So I work on my boxing in there. We have kettlebells and that sort of thing.

Do you write out your reps and sets?

It’s just kind of based on how I feel. I keep a loose track in the back of my mind about not doing anything two days in a row. If I feel like I’m good to go, I’ll do something. And if I feel like I should do something else, I do something else. If I feel like I should go run three miles, I’ll do that. If I feel like I’m slow, I’ll go do something that doesn’t require dynamic muscle movements, like I’ll go deadlift or something. If my back is hurting, I’ll do pull-ups and try to stretch my spine out a little bit. I don’t really adhere to anything all that tight. What I do is I make sure that I’m doing whatever I need to do every day to maintain consistency and discipline and also my mental health.

How do you handle rest and recovery?

Unfortunately, I don’t rest or recover enough. I keep saying I’m going to start doing yoga and stuff, but I really don’t do it. I went back to Arizona for a week to record an EP that we just did, and I didn’t do any working out for a week. And I was amazed at how good I felt. Because of the fact that my primary motivator for going so hard physically is to mitigate my mental issues, I don’t like to rest. When I rest, I sit there and I think.

With Austin kickboxing crew (featuring Blk Ops’ Champ Morgan, second from left)

Maybe recording filled that space for that week.

It did 100%, yeah. A lot of people don’t realize that thinking and mind activity burns calories. It literally burns energy. So, you can sit and be working on a record for 12 hours a day, and you’re not doing anything crazy, you’re not lifting anything heavy, your heart rate’s not being accelerated—by the end of the day, you feel physically exhausted, not just mentally exhausted. It’s because your brain is on overdrive.

Would you draw any connection between physical performance and musical performance?

I know that the more in shape I am, the better I sing. Singing is a very physical activity. And, playing, too. You just have more stamina. There’s a definite connection there, absolutely.

It helps to look good on stage, too.

Yeah, that’s important, I guess. One thing that I do keep in mind is, depending on what’s coming up in my musical life, I might change what I’m doing with my workout routine. So, knowing that I’m going to have to sing, I might start powerlifting less and running more to lean more into the cardiovascular training and be a little more light feeling with my muscles.

For someone who’s starting from ground zero and has been sitting on the couch and eating badly, what’s your advice to them?

If you want to change bad enough, just take that first step. If I could get out of the hole that I was in, anyone can do it. It might seem impossible, and I know that it’s easier to just sit and stew and wish that things were a certain way. But all you have to do is start. It’s going to take a while. Like I said early on, it’s all about habit. You just set a goal, and you work at it every day, every single day, just a little bit.

I was addicted to drinking whiskey. All I wanted to do was drink whiskey, that’s it. Now I’m addicted to stuff that’s not only not killing me, but actually improving my health. That just came over time and repetition and forming a new habit. One day you’ll look back and be amazed at what happened.

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[mickadamz]

i know everyone has their own opinions on this, but how do you characterize 2p American and 2p England? like how do you see their personalities and stuff? how do you think they vary from their 1p (is that the term?) versions?

OOHEHEHEEHEHEH OH MAN YOURE IN FOR A TREAT

IVE DONE SO MUCH WIT THEM ITS INSANE OKAY

2p eng: his full name is oliver jack marshall. I’m gonna include physical appearances as well. so oliver…

6′0-6′1

average build, though much scrawnier compared to like idk the 1800s

redhead???? yes?

dusty blue eyes

fair skin, not as pale as arthur, but not as tan as, say, greece or romano

longer, kinda rounder features as compared to arthur’s rather compact and sharp features

wavier hair

usually has a scar on his left eye, other scars are au dependant 

ambidextrous, arthur is only left handed (personal head canon, i don’t remember his dominant hand LOL)

freckles bitch

appears to be in his mid-late twenties

has a tired but understanding look on his face most the time

actually has a very nice and subtle smile. he’s been through a lot and its really a blessing to see him relax

as for non appearance based traits:

one of the few aph related characters i don’t see as bisexual, as he’s fully homosexual

not much of a social person, similar to his 1p, but arthur has a bigger struggle with making friends and talking to people as he’ kinda got a mindset that not many people even like him and he’s kinda rude as a defence mechanism? idk i haven’t touched canon in a while but oliver is still not a social person but mores than arthur is

introvert

has a… huge amount of secrets behind his sorta cheerful exterior. beneath that he’s not as nice as you think but he’s trying. things are hard for him

despite existing for much longer and dying less than arthur, he has no idea how to not keep his feelings and such closed up and he finds it difficult to deal with traumatic events. he’s mentally weaker and pretty unstable when having an episode or just in a very stressful situation. otherwise, he seems to function alright

surprisingly not very affectionate to people. theres a few exceptions.

actually has a good relationship with his sealand, arnold gets Nervous hen oliver’s away for a while or doesn’t call-text back within an hour or so. see the o=point above the affection related one

PETTY

sorta friendly, trying to be more open to people. he knows the make mistakes so he tries to be more forgiving

kinda stoic, not much seems to faze him in a regular setting

died 108 times or so (not counting the story related to my allen blog)

bad at baking but excellent at cooking: “oliver is that a cake” ‘*crying* it’s a mistake’

not very graceful

STUPIDLY COURAGEOUS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF G

breaks the rules if he sees its unjust or unnecessary. a very moral tied person, compared to arthur who fears he’ll be punished the second he tries to against the law, no matter the cause behind it

very loyal

most optimistic of the 2p allies

really likes to make things for people, good artist and basic builder

selfless

enjoys vaporwave

has 3 scottish straight-brutish shorthair cats and a horse, the cats are named samwise, bess, and marmalade/marmie. the horse is named thomas

2p america’ full name is allen tomas soliz .

physically:

5′6-5′7

his appearance (skin tone, hair, facial features) resemble a mid twenties mexican-american man 

his legs aren’t very strong, but he’s pretty fast

his upper body is of average build, but he works out regularly so it’ll increase in strength

missing a tooth

warm, friendly dark brown eyes

calloused hands from having to do things himself and helping out some people he’s come across in the south-western US before westward expansion

wavy, almost curly hair. he attempts to groom it for what its worth.

his skin and hair are soft, he regularly takes care of himself!

picks at his fucking nails so they don’t look the best but what can you do, not like they’re dirty

growing a moustache and a goatee 

SIDEBURNS

h….hes hot

does have scars, most tend to be on his hands from doing heavy duty tasks on his own. has one just above his right eyebrow and on his lip where his tooth is missing

million dollar smile!

right handed

as for non physical traits:

unlike alfred, his twin is a sister and its 2p mexico instead of 2p canada. he’s still related to him though. its mor elf a half/step brother situation

that being said, his mother’s personification is based around the aztec empire area, though mostly around that one group of natives

broadway fan!!!!!!! would die to get on broadway

a big sweetheart really

I’m unsure about the vegan thing but he’s probably got food allergies anyway so dietary restrictions still apply i guess

has a dg named veggie and 2 cats, named armel (large man) and calixto (the devil incarnate)

social fuckin butterfly bitch!

dense like alfred, but not on purpose. cannot read the atmosphere that well

an open fucking book

bisexual

very big on affection in any form

HORNY ON MAIN

I’m kidding but he likes sex. not a big fan of one time flings or fuckbuddies, but has tried it or done it more than once. 

hopeless romantic

he actually switched spots with his nyo counterpart. he used to represent the mid-west due to the high native and mexican population back around the 1800s when he officially joined the other 3 americas. when jessi came along, he switched with her once broadway became bigger and once films started being produced. she’s a movie star, and he’s a Hugh jackman kind of person. he just wants to sing

he may look rough and tough, but once you see him smile for the first time (usually as a greeting to people on the street, he’s very friendly to people), you can see he’s really just a nice person and loves to socialize

graceful as hell, also has a powerful singing voice

also very emotional

almost as stupidly courageous as oliver

rule breaker, most the time for fun, other times because of his morals. protests if he finds it necessary or it suits his personal beliefs

optimistic

i should note that my 2ps have more ‘free reign’ than the other counterparts. they’re the ‘backups’ in case the 1ps are unable to do something. seeing historically, men were more involved in government, its why most personifications involved with government affairs are males. there are obvious exceptions to this, but thats a general (fan made) reason why the majority that we’ve seen in the series are male

[enzoseven]

oldie

LyricsYo, shout out to everybody that worked on the album You feel me, son? Yo, shouts out to Ty Dollas Shouts out to Hodgy Daddies, shouts out to Left Brizzle Shouts out to Domyon, shouts out to Frankie Ocean Shouts out to Syd the Dude, shouts out to L-Boy AwkBig eared bandit is tossing all his manners In a bag and wrapping them in seran wrap bandages Tossing 'em in baskets with the rest of those sandwiches So when he says "Catch up, nigga" it looks like an accident Um, flowing like my pad is the maxiest My bitch white and black like she's been mimicking a panda It's the dark skinned nigga, kissing bitches in Canada Then kicking all out like Mr. Lawrence did Pamela Put her in the chamber all against her Wilt Chamberlain I never had a Reason, nigga I was just Ableton Not a fucking Logic contradicting dick head Flyer than an ostrich moshing in a tar pit Semen scented cheetah printed tee In that 'Preme five panel, I'll repeat it for the season Previous items in the present With the normal ass past like I cheated on my team It's me (Tried to get that nigga, but, Golf Wang)To have some type of knowledge that is one perception But knowing you own your opponent is a defeating bonus I'm Zeus to a Kronos, cartilage cartridge is boneless Smiles of cowards in lead showers Dead spouses in red blouses Children who fled houses on Mustang horses and went jousting I'm on my Robin Hood shit, robbin' in the hood Whips, drugs, jewels, and your pet, I'm stealing your rings Coke diamonds and your Vet, soldiers lace the fuckin' boot And salute like the troop when you shoot you gon' poop It's kill Hodgy, nigga, stay the fuck off my stoop And out my Kool aid, JuiceHodgy got the juice, I got the gin Jasper got the Henny, my nigga we get it in Wolf Gang party at the hotel I call a ho, you call a ho, and all the hoes tell You know Left Brain need a freak I need a bitch to go down like a Nitty beat Yup, uh, and her ass fat Don't be surprised if I ask where the hash at Nigga I'm tryin' to smoke, bitch get higher Domo where that Flocka Flame? Talkin' 'bout a lighter Still bang salute me or just shoot me Cause if you don't salute me then my team will do the shooting Yeah my nigga Ace will pull the black jack The king Mike G is in the cut with the black mac Livin' like the Mafia, bitch, don't get to slacking up And if these haters actin' up, throw 'em in the aqueduct Free my nigga Earl, yo, I don't really ask for much But two bad bitches in front of me cunnilingusWhat the fuck is caution? Often I leave you flossin' and cause exes next to coffins Lost in translation, the dreams you chase Got you diving for the plates like you stealin' home base That's great, I'm home alone dreamin' of two on ones With Rihanna and Christina Milian, bring it on And Travis is in the closet organizing and hangin' the tramp Three lettermans that Ace has been making him No strays while we catchin' matinees, huh? I'm gettin' blazed thinking 'bout those days I had the top off the GT3 like toupees One finger in the air, all's fair when crime pays My grand scheme of things is to be attached To the game like bitches to their wedding rings And you don't even need to look cause we gleam obscene In the light, ride slow to my yellow diamond shining Like the Batman logo over Gotham, rock LA to Harlem If you say "get 'em Mike G" then I got 'em One man squadron, nigga I'm a problem From Briggs I got bars and plans to Pimp these Polish bitches into pop stars Humanity kills, we all suffer from insanity still And if I said it then it is or it's gonna be real OF 'til I OD and I probably will, uhIt's still Mr. Smoke-a-Lotta-Pot, get your baby mommy popped With my other snobby bop, do I love her? Prolly not Know your shit is not as hot as anything I fuckin' drop Bitch I'm in the zone, stand alone, like Macaulay Cock I've been runnin' blocks since a snotty tot Big wheel was a big deal with the water Glock Now I'm all grown, sing songs just to give 'em watts Fire what I talk, but still cooler than the otter pop Op Dom neck shit in your wish list Mad sick shit, mad dick for your bitches On some slick shit, your mistress on my hit list And I'm lifted 'til I'm stiff out of this bitch Odd in your motherfuckin' area Blood clots give me five feet 'fore I bury ya Suicide flow, let the big wave carry ya Tyler got the mask like he held Jim Carey up And fuck your team, ho nigga wassup Wolf Gang so you know we not givin' no fucks You know me dog, I'm a chill in the cut so I can Cut it short, break it down, couple pounds, roll it upGet me a Persian rug where the center looks like GalagaRent a super car for a day Drive around with your friends, smoke a gram of that haze Bro, easy on the ounce, that's a lot for a day But just enough for a week, my nigga what can I say I'm hi and I'm bye, wait I mean I'm straight I'mma give you this wine, the runner just brought the grapes My brother give it some time, Morris, and Day Course you know the vibe's as fly as the rhymes On the song, cut and you could sample the feel Headphone bleed, make this shit sound real Used to work the grill, fatburger and fries Then I made a mil and them psychics was liars Now, how many fuckin' crystal balls can I buy and own Humble old me had to flex for the fogs Down in Muscle Beach pumpin' iron and bone Bumpin' oldies off my cellular phone Yeah, bumpin' oldies off my cellular phoneGoddammit, this rapping is stupid and it's hard Gotta do it over and over and over again but here I goHey it's Jasper, not even a rapper Only on this beat to make my racks grow faster Got a TV show, so I guess I'm an actor Pot head, half baked, lookin' like Chappelle Rollin' up a blunt with that fire from hell Still ignorant, still hit a bitch Wolf Gang, nigga, so I still don't give a shit Catch me in the back with Miley on my lap Bong rips as I feel on that little bitch catHah, nigga came through with a 9 bar real quick Just for the bitches, little bit of money in my pocket Fuck it, Wolf GangYeah, fuck that, look, the contrast is a pair of lips Swallowin' sarapin, settin' fires to sheriffs whips (Whoosp, whoosp) fuckin' All-American terrorist Crushin' rapper larynx to feed 'em a fuckin' carrot stick And me? I just spent a year Ferrisin' And lost a little sanity to show you what hysterics is Spit to the lips meet the bottom of a barrel So that sterile piss flow remind these niggas where embarrassed is Narrow, tight line, might impair him since I made it back to Fahrenheit, grimey get dinero type Feral, fuckin' ill apparel, wearin' pack of parasites Threw his own youth off the roof after paradise La di da di, back in here to fuck the party up Raidin' fridges, tippin' over vases with a tommy gun Never dollars, poppa make it rain hockey pucks And 60 day chips from fuckin' awesome anonymous Call him bloated 'til he show 'em that the flow deluxe Off the wall loafers, Four Loko, and a cobra clutch Vocals bold and rough, evoke a ho to pose as drum And let me hit and beat it with a stick until the hole was numb The culprit of the potent punch Scoldin' hot as dunkin' scrotum in a Folgers cup, or Nevada Drivin' drunk inside a stolen truck, shittin' like his colon bust Belly full of chicken and a fifth of old petroleum Supernova, I'm rollin' over the novices I'm roamin' through the forest and spittin' cold as the porridge is Stay gold 'til the case closed and the story end Post mortem porkin' this rap shit and record it To escort it to the morgue again, lord of lips Bored of this, forklift the tippy top, best under 40 list Stormin' the gate, ensurin' the bass, scorchin' ladies Motherfuckers sore in torso and face Get at me with savages, have a pack of Apache Indian pack of niggas who don't give a fuck if we nasty as flatulence As a matter of fact, your swagger is tacky So see me you can't like Crunchy Black catchin' a taxi Back like lateral passin' With that motherfuckin' gladiator manner of rappin' As an addict I let percocets and xannies relax me Fall back if your paddies is Maxi, pleaseOF, shit that's all I got From my bigger brother Frankie to my little brother Tac From that father figure Clancy to that skatey nigga Naks Shredding down 'Fax, Wolf Gang run the fuckin' block Storefront, knee tat Book cover is the same lettering on lettermans and cotton socks And grip tape, and my shoes Um, I was 15 when I first drew that donut 5 years later, for our label yea we own it I started an empire, I ain't even old enough To drink a fuckin' beer, I'm tipsy off this soda pop This is for the niggas in the suburbs And the white kids with nigga friends who say the n-word And the ones that got called weird, fag, bitch, nerd Cause you was into jazz, kitty cats, and Steven Spielberg They say we ain't actin' right Always try to turn our fuckin' color into black and white But they'll never change 'em, never understand 'em Radical's my anthem, turn my fuckin' amps up So instead of critiquing and bitching, being mad as fuck Just admit, not only are we talented, we're rad as fuck Bitches 

I don't own this lyrics I got it from odd future