#fundamentally cannot wrap my head around it

[cyborgdragongirl]

growing up being told “bugs and lizards and snakes are far more scared of you than you are of them” and then watching everyone telling me this kill the offending bug or lizard or snake..caused me much confusion

if something (unworthy of love) is somewhere it doesn’t belong (or i don’t think it belongs), and I (the bigger/greater/better/purer being) am uncomfortable then I can beat or kill it to affirm my safety/superiority/dominance

it’s more scared of you than you are of it! you have the advantage! launch a preemptive counter strike and crush it first! even though you’re in little to no danger! nono don’t think about its feelings, don’t gently pick it up and let outside what’re you doing? you’re letting it manipulate you, you’re letting them win

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Vil Schoenheit - Playful Dress Vignette

"I was able to witness such a rare sight"

[Playful Land – Bazaar]

Puppet: Come By, Come And See! Would You Like A Playful Land Souvenir!?

Vil: …...

Vil: Well, I thought I would get some souvenirs for those back at school, but…

Vil: These accessories, medals, and mugs… aren't really gifts I would give others.

Vil: Oh, is this… a badge? It's small, I do like how prettily the gold shines.

Vil: This may be a perfect find. Could you wrap this up for me?

Puppet: Of Course!

Jade: Oh my, Vil-san. I thought you would be exploring the park, but have you turned to souvenir shopping already?

Vil: That's right. I spotted some lockers earlier, so I thought I would use those until we leave.

Jade: I hadn't noticed there were lockers available.

Jade: I planned on leaving souvenir shopping for later, but if that is the case, then I suppose it won't be a bother to shop for some now.

Vil: Well, if you weren't over here for souvenirs in the first place, why did you come this way?

Jade: Me? Something rather fascinating happened to have caught my eye…

Vil: Something fascinating?

Jade: Indeed, take a look at these.

Vil: These are… fashion accessories?

Jade: Yes. These are character hats, character headbands, and other various accessories that can be worn around the park.

Vil: A hat with fox ears, a scrunchie with a small cat figure attached to it…

Vil: There are even sunglasses with frames that look like a silhouette of a fox.

Vil: So, you like these kinds of character merchandise? That's actually rather surprising.

Jade: WELL, YES, ABSOLUTELY! Although, I haven't had much luck purchasing any since I left the Coral Sea.

Jade: Unfortunately, it's quite difficult to coordinate outfits with these kinds of poppy and cutesy merch…

Jade: I wonder if there is anyone out there who could suit such specialized character accessories.

Jade: If they did exist, I would love for them to show me how they'd wear it, but I'm sure that's easier said than done.

Jade: …That would be much too convenient, right?

Vil: You... I'm more than certain you are lying through your teeth when you say you like such cute merch.

Vil: Does this mean you've come all the way to this shop to try to get a rise out of me? What a charming personality you have.

Jade: Oh, my. A lie…? Nonsense. Please believe me, Vil-san.

Vil: I assume you're only here to try to see me struggle matching those accessories to my outfit.

Vil: Allow me to show you just how fundamentally flawed your scheme is.

Vil: After all, our knowledge and experience are nowhere near the same.

Vil: Well then, first… Ah, I'll start with the sunglasses.

Vil: My current outfit has a base black color, with a purple focus and red accents.

Vil: I do not want to upset the balance of these colors. With that in mind, I would choose this one.

Jade: Those sunglasses have such a vivid red frame… So you chose it based off your accent color instead of the base color.

Vil: Yes, of course. The face is the most prominent part of your body, so it would be a waste to frame it with a color as muted as my base color.

Vil: Next are the earrings. Since we don’t want it to clash with the sunglasses, here we would choose a subtle gold or white gold shimmer.

Vil: The scrunchie should be an eye-catching pink that doesn't take too much attention away from the sleeves.

Vil: I'd match the backpack to purple, and attach plenty of charms to it, within reason.

Jade: …Wonderful. Although you are decorated in character goods from head to toe, your refined presence still shines strong.

Vil: Naturally. Character goods like this are just another facet of fashion, so as long as you keep to the fundamentals, you can't go wrong.

Vil: Specifically, one must always be aware of the color balance. You cannot simply throw everything on without any thought.

Jade: I see, this has been a wonderful learning experience. I shouldn't expect anything less from someone like you.

Vil: Obviously. There isn't a fashion item in the world that I would not be able to put to good use.

Vil: …Or is that too much of a boast? Fufu.

Jade: This was astounding. By the way, may I…

Vil: No photos.

Jade: Ah, I see. That is a shame.

Vil: Well, I've finished choosing my souvenirs, so I'll be off. Goodbye, then.

Jade: …Yes, I'll see you later.

[Playful Land – Gentle Square]

Vil: Playful Land truly is large.

Vil: There's the Catch the Star wheel, an Undersea Walk… As well as a Brawl Bungalow.

Vil: I would love to visit every attraction I haven't been able to check out yet, but there may not be enough time.

Jade: Indeed. Taking into account what free time we have remaining, I would think we could perhaps look into 2 or 3 attractions.

Vil: I concur. That may be the case, especially considering the crowds.

Vil: …Also, Jade, I thought we sent our separate ways back at the bazaar. Why are you still following me?

Jade: I simply thought it would be more exciting to stick with you, Vil-san, than look around on my own. I have no ulterior motives.

Vil: …Honestly, I absolutely cannot believe that. Especially with how much of an innocent front you're displaying.

Vil: Well, no matter. I was just thinking about actually finding some activities to enjoy here at Playful Land.

Vil: And, well, you've an abundance in forethought, so you may not be a terrible companion.

Vil: If you absolutely must, you may join me.

Jade: Thank you very much.

Vil: There is a certain place I would like to go. Let's head there.

[Playful Land – Expedition Whale]

Vil: We've arrived.

Jade: This is…

Vil: Expedition Whale, the largest roller coaster in this amusement park.

Vil: Obviously, we cannot pass up the main attraction. Come, the line is over here.

Jade: Wait a moment, Vil-san. Why don't we visit the Brawl Bungalow first?

Vil: …Huh? Why? The roller coaster is right in front of us.

Vil: You want us to head towards the Brawl Bungalow from here, and then turn all the way around to come back here? I think that is a complete waste of time.

Jade: No, I… The line for the roller coaster is rather long, so I thought perhaps waiting for our turn may be a waste of our time.

Jade: If we use that potential waiting time to visit another attraction, perhaps we could be able to enjoy an additional one…

Vil: …Sigh.

Vil: You know, Jade. I'll only say this once. I gave you permission to "follow me if you must."

Vil: I never said you could direct me anywhere. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings.

Jade: Right, my apologies. Only, if we consider our limited time remaining…

Vil: Oh… And here I thought you would back off because I was a little sterner there. How odd.

Vil: I don't think you rather look to be that interested in the Brawl Bungalow, either. It's as if you are trying to avoid the roller coaster entirely.

Vil: I'm sure it absolutely isn't the case, but… Could it be that you're attempting to avoid the roller coaster because you're scared…?

Vil: That couldn't possibly be the case, right, Jade?

Jade: Of course not. To tell you the truth, I am simply worried for you, Vil-san.

Jade: It seems as though the roller coaster will splash us with water in the end…

Jade: I couldn't help but be concerned for your beautiful makeup. We wouldn't want it to run.

Vil: Mmhmm. If you say so. Uh-huh…

Vil: If my makeup runs, I just have to fix it.

Vil: Is that all you have? Come on, let's go.

Vil: Well, now… The coaster is about to move. Are you ready, Jade?

Jade: Ready? I'm not entirely sure what you mean… I am still fraught with worry for you, Vil-san.

Jade: I must at least be prepared to shield you, after all, in case your makeup runs.

Vil: You truly don't ever stop speaking. …But I wonder, how long will you be able to keep it up?

[clank, clank, clank…]

Vil: Look Jade, the view is breathtaking. We can see the whole of Playful Land.

Jade: Yes, truly… It is very high… And from this height, I assume we're about to…

[clank!!]

Jade: URK…!?

Vil: …Heh.

[RRRRRGGGGGGOOOOORRR!!]

[SPLASSSH!!]

Vil: Ahh, that was a superb thrill…!

Vil: Rollercoasters this long and thrilling are completely out of the ordinary.

Vil: But, I'm quite elated to have been able to experience such a one-of-a-kind attraction. On top of that…

Vil: I was able to witness such a rare sight: Jade, speechless.

Vil: I'm sure you tagged along, hoping to find some reason to rib me… I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

Jade: …...

Jade: …Oh no, I am just the same as ever. That was a enjoyable coaster.

Jade: However, perhaps I would like to refrain from riding it for a little while…

Vil: Oh, have you recovered already? I guess I should at least commend your moxie.

Vil: We're moving on to the next attraction, Jade. I'm nowhere near satisfied yet.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[cuubism]

Hey, okay so I'm still very much ruined by your Dream with wings au and I love the overall theme with coming to terms with the loss of them and accepting it and being able to move on, but my brain is by angst like this immediately in the mode of I have to fix this, have to give him back what he lost in some way. 

And yeah, here is what I thought could happen.

So the universe ends, Death closes up. But with every end comes a new beginning and so on. So new universe, all Endless are still there + Hob. But because there aren't any humans yet or maybe there never will be, Hob becomes something else, Hope for example, and grows wings because Hope probably has some. Hob is very much conflicted over that because of obvious reasons but then the first beings of this new universe begin to dream and something changes in Dream. He adapts to the new universe and the new dreamers and one day his back is in absolute agony, his wings have started to grow back because the dreamers of this universe need him to have them. And of course he is rather conflicted about this because he did accept his loss and learned to live without them but also he is so elated to have them back. And Hob is there with him every step of the way and it makes it a lot easier and the first time they fly together is magnificent. And maybe Dreams wings are not completely the same as his old ones as he is not the same he was then but he can fly again and cradle his dreamers close not only in his arms but in the safety of his wings as well. 

And well this kinda got a bit sappy but hope you like it. Of course feel free to ignore this ramble if it doesn't fit with your idea of your fic it's just how my brain works. Loved your fic by the way if it wasn't obvious.

Oh this is sweet! Yeah I understand the impulse to want to make it better for him somehow. Dream could definitely regain his wings in a new universe with new dreamers.

I love that it's just Hob at the end. Just Hob and the fundamental concepts of the universe chillin in the void. NOTHING can stop Hob.

On that note--

--

The first thing Dream knows of the new universe is grief.

He had not expected to know anything. Everything had gone when the universe he'd known had finally succumbed to its ultimate entropy, and if, when, a new one came to be, he had expected to reformed utterly. New dreamers. A new Dream.

The thought of not knowing had given him peace. One could not miss anything when one did not even know one had had it. And Dream, at the end, had had much to miss.

Strange, that. Terrible, that.

Why, then, is he sitting on the shores of creation, wet sand sticking to his clothes, the Dreaming stretching out around him? It's empty, flattened, nothing but black sand and dark sea infinitely in every direction--but it's still the Dreaming he knows. Why? And why is he sitting here?

In the next moment, why ceases to matter. He is sitting here, in the reformed, empty Dreaming of this empty universe. And Hob is not.

He curls his knees up to his chest, presses his forehead into them, wraps his arms around his head. He doesn't want this sun, this sand, this Dreaming. He doesn't want this universe that doesn't have Hob Gadling in it.

He blocks it all from his vision and sobs, there on the beach where he'd once spent so much time creating. There is no one to hear. None of his creations remain. There are hardly any dreamers. He digs his fingers into his hair, wishing he could simply rip himself right out of this universe. Some other Dream can tend it. He's had enough.

A light hand lands on his shoulder.

"Go away," Dream growls. It can only be one of his siblings, new-but-not, and he does not want to see them. Cannot, yet. "Tend your own misery."

"What misery?" says a familiar voice. Dream goes still. Someone sits down beside him. "Don't you want to explore a whole new universe?"

Dream throws his arms around him. Hob catches him, laughing, even as Dream presses his face into his neck, still sobbing. "I care not for this wretched universe."

"What kind of attitude is that to start out with?"

"Hob."

"Shh, it's alright." He pets Dream's hair as Dream persists in trying to crawl into him until they're irreparably tangled together.

"How?"

Hob kisses the top of his head. "You've really got to learn the power of just saying no to stuff."

Dream lets out a hysterical laugh against his neck. He just may have lost his sanity when the universe was scrambled. But he'll take this insane universe that has Hob in it over a sane one that does not. "Just saying no?"

"I didn't want to leave you, so I didn't. Simple," says Hob, and Dream wraps his arms around him tighter.

"Destiny will need to invent a new form of logic to accommodate you, Hob Gadling," he says, and Hob chuckles.

Finally, Dream lifts his head to look at him. Hob looks much the same as Dream last saw him, but a new power thrums around him, an aura that's obvious to Dream now that he is looking. "What... are you?"

Hob tugs on his ear in thought, and Dream smiles inwardly to see that that affectation still persists. "I think I, uh. Don't get mad."

"There is nothing that could possibly anger me now other than losing you again."

"Well. I think I... stole part of your power? Not on purpose, really. It's like you said. When you tell Destiny no, things get... weird."

Dream lays a hand on his cheek. Yes, he can feel it, the hum of his own essence, swiftly merging with Hob's. "You've stolen nothing. But part of my domain is within you, now. Under your care."

"What part's that?"

Dream finally manages a tiny smile, even through lingering tears, at the thought. "I believe it is hope."

Hob studies him, eyes wide, then huffs an incredulous laugh. "Sounds a bit messed up, doesn't it? Me taking hope from you?"

Dream leans his forehead against Hob's. "You give me hope. Every day. By being here. And as I said. You have taken nothing. The power is still a part of me. Hope and dreams are inextricable intertwined. But it is in your care, now."

"Right," breathes Hob in wonder, cradling the back of Dream's head. "That's. Wow."

"'Wow,'" Dream echoes, and Hob laughs, cuffing him lightly about the ear in admonishment for the mocking tone.

Dream's hand is still on Hob's cheek, and he reaches for the power that's in Hob now, touches it, lets it flow through him. It reaches for him in turn, lights up his own power that feels so new and fresh and alive, in this newborn universe. He closes his eyes at the warmth, cries finally quieting in his chest.

Hob sucks in a breath. "Dream..."

Dream comes back to himself with a start. "What? What is wrong?"

Hob is looking over his shoulder. "Nothing." He reaches over Dream's shoulder. Brushes his fingertips along the-- along the wing that is now arched there, folded carefully over his back.

He had not even noticed them appearing. They are not physical wings, to whatever extent Dream has ever been physical. They are pure energy, shimmering translucent in the sun when he folds one around himself to touch it. The ghostly feathers spark with power at his touch, and brighter still when Hob lays his hand over Dream's.

"You're beautiful," says Hob, as Dream keeps touching the feathers in wonder. Hob swipes his thumb under his eye, and it's only then that Dream realizes he's crying again. Silent, glittering tears.

"I do not... understand."

"New universe," Hob says. "New dreamers?"

Dream leans his head on Hob's shoulder. "New dreamer. Have you been imagining me with wings all this time?"

"Couldn't help it," says Hob. He strokes a hand along the phantom bone of the wing, and Dream shivers. "Knew you'd be glorious." He strokes the wing again, in awe. "You're beautiful."

Dream tucks his forehead further into Hob's throat, overcome. "What will I do with you, Hob Gadling?"

Hob pets his hair. "Well, right about now I could really do with a hot bath, I'm absolutely covered in sand. Don't suppose you can make that happen, Dream Lord?"

Dream laughs, wet and aching. "If you had not noticed, we are in the middle of an empty desert."

"So? Blank canvas."

"I suppose... I could create something for you." He thinks about it more, the pain of the empty, desolate Dreaming ceding to a different feeling. Hope. "I suppose... I could create anything."

Hob kisses the top of his head. "Exactly."

[franklespine]

How am I just supposed to carry on with my life after 6.08 of House md. HOWWWWW?????!!!!! Kill myself that was gut wrenching. Never had I had such a punch to the gut like that ending was. Cameron telling House that she loved him. Telling him about how all he cares about is sweeping and manipulating people into his puzzles and games. "You'll poison [Taub and Thirteen] just like you poisoned Chase ... you ruined him."

Oh my god. I cannot believe they just made me watch that.

The building tension between Chase and Cameron in this episode in the fact that the only way Cameron could continue to be with him was to believe that killing Dibala wasn't his fault but House's - that Chase was his "personal sock puppet", and that to move beyond this they had to leave.

Comparatively, Chase struggles to wrap his head around the fact that Cameron forgives him for an act that he perceives was not only the "worst thing [he's] ever done", but entirely his fault. He's spent the past few episodes overwhelmed with emotions he doesn't know how to deal with. House told him to get some help and Chase interprets this as going to confession where he just begs the priest to give him a way to achieve atonement and lift the burden off of him. And then when the priest tells him there's no way to do that without taking responsibility for his actions he just goes to the bar so long Cameron almost reports him missing and drinks himself half to death. So I think the reason he struggles so much to understand why Cameron forgives him is because he doesn't forgive himself - he doesn't regret what he did and still thinks it was the right thing to do but that doesn't mean he isn't wrought with shame and guilt because of it. And then he slowly realises throughout this episode that Cameron hasn't really forgiven him - she just doesn't believe he was at fault. But he can't run away from what he did and, probably more importantly, he doesn't want to leave House. He tells Cameron that killing Dibala was his fault and despite everything, he'd do it again.

And then - you ruined him - Cameron says to House. Jesus Christ just kill me. 'You broke him beyond repair'. Because despite Cameron's penchant for broken people, she doesn't want them to be beyond repair, emotionally.

"I'm sorry for you both. For what you've become. Because... there's no way back for either of you."

UGGHHHJFNEWJONORGOW

Honestly, as much as House fucked with Taub, Thirteen and Kutner, it wasn't like with his original fellows. He didn't change them, fundamentally, like he did with Foreman, Chase and Cameron. Each of them has a slightly different breed of a complicated, messed up relationship with House that no one else (not even each other) will ever understand - and now none of them can truly leave. They're stuck there in that hospital, in some way, with House forever, seeing reflections of House in each other and in themselves like a disease. Like Cameron says in 5.13 "I'll always say yes to House. I studied under him. He's in my head." And Foreman too is 'ruined' - he got away from House, begins acting just like him and now he is entirely un-hirable - here is the only place he has to go. And I think the fact that Chase was the only fellow in s3 who was fired by House (rather than leaving himself), and then came back to the same hospital (with Cameron) to work as a surgeon is rather telling. He referred to House as God, he maybe received the worst treatment from House and still sucked up to him the most for his approval and validation, he's a capable and intelligent doctor but yet in the diagnostics team he bases his diagnosing suggestions off of House like he's his entire frame of reference right from s1 (making diagnoses not based on actual medical knowledge but how House reacts to each of them, how he phrases his questions, how he starts the conversation).

Jesus christ. Just the way that he fundamentally altered something deep inside each of them, irrevocably, is just sooooooo... RAHHHHDJBFJBFHFEOFHEW.

This show man what in the world.

Erm. On to episode 9 I guess.

[etoilesbienne]

maxo & bbh: easiest extreme of someone who's lost all sense of the fear of regret falling extremely quickly into bbh's skewed morality

etoiles & bbh: a two step waltz where bbh is slowly leading etoiles into his sense of skewed morality where etoiles steps in time because he refuses to lose even a friend without realizing what that refusal of loss will lead to

baghera & bbh: baghera's own doubts and lack of fear or shyness about saying her opinions and thoughts give her a much more open ground to stand on with bbh, as their values tend to coincide. she has firm morals though, which lets her talk down bbh from going too far in their shared values frequently

antoine & bbh: their lack of humanity in general gives them this odd understanding of each other, with antoine seemingly performing what he believes he should have as a moral compass and what he's observed from society as an outsider looking in, leading to his ability to talk bbh down from going too far by asking the right questions on the other's actions

forever & bbh: forever has his own values & morals based on a broader sense of society's concept of what is just & fair and stands by those to such a degree it is why bbh & him fundamentally do not and cannot understand each other on a deeper level outside of when they have a common goal to work toward

foolish & bbh: foolish is on his own sense of dubious morality on a path so far removed from bbh he can walk step in step with him without bbh's influence changing his morals much at all

edit: i was wrong LOL. foolish is a character i struggle wrapping my head around

quackity & bbh: quackity and badboyhalo hate & pity each other to such an extent they fear the other in the amount of similarities they see in one another almost like a horror movie. all morals are off the table in order to try to get back at the other.

[shadfinite]

ok but the thing is shadow and infinite isnt a "healthy" or "good" relationship at first. it takes them years to be good for each other. they shouldn't have been together! they should have broken up years ago! but they didn't and they are working through it and eventually things work out. EVENTUALLY Infinite stops enabling Shadow's self destructive behavior and EVENTUALLY Shadow stops tolerating the admittedly unacceptible way Infinite treats him.

See, Infinite doesn't know what it's like to be with someone who doesn't want to hurt him even a little. Every relationship he's ever been in has been a really unhealthy and dangerous power dynamic (he's been the weak one and the strong one before). It takes him YEARS DECADES maybe even CENTURIES to realize Shadow is NOT LIKE THAT. Shadow didn't even really want to specifically hurt Infinite when they first encountered each other in the Mystic Ruins. He was just doing a job. It takes Infinite such a long time to understand that. He's so obsessed with Shadow but he has this one conflicting core understanding with Shadow that he simply cannot wrap his head around. He needs to stay in control so that "when Shadow tries to fuck him over he has a way to regain the upper hand."

Shadow thinks he's lesser than everyone, even Infinite. Even though Infinite literally started a war and wanted to destroy everything just because he was bored. If Infinite wants all the power over him, Shadow is okay with that because surely he deserves it for being such a miserable creature. When Infinite calls him names and treats him poorly he just lets it happen because Infinite is the first person he's met in a long time who will treat him in a way he understands. To Shadow, this is unfortunately what true love looks like. Being attacked is familiar, and Shadow knows that when people are kind to him he doesn't know how to deal with it. He thinks Infinite is giving him a form of stability that he can't live without.

What's confusing for both of them is that they do have moments of tenderness, and they do have inexplicable boundaries that they never cross with each other. They've never discussed their limits, but there are things they would never do to each other because it'd be too much.

They have moments of vulnerability, where they are just sitting beside each other and Infinite is telling Shadow how beautiful he is. And Shadow believes it because he's pretty sure that Infinite wouldn't waste his time being nice if he didn't mean it. Shadow introduced Infinite to a part of himself he didn't know existed, a part of himself that doesn't want to have to try to hard to reach for the top. But that vulnerability is terrifying at first and neither of them want to acknowledge it. It just happens and then its back to business as usual again. They don't talk about it.

They will do things to each other that cause conflict or anger, enable each other's worst habits, but they won't try to change each other's identities. That's the hard limit. They might have an argument where they harp on each other's bad behavior, but it's just talk. They'd never do anything to each other that would actively contribute to a crisis because one thing they both understand on a fundamental level is that changing the answers to core questions like "What is my purpose?" or "What do I believe is right?" is mind breaking. They never force each other to do things that challenge the status quo or threaten to shake their already deteriorating stability.

But this boundary is also part of the problem. They, for a long time, don't let each other grow and absolutely get worse! They break each other down, but they keep making excuses for why they should stay together. People who constantly fight with each other should not be together!

And when I say "together" I don't really mean together. Their relationship is a situationship at best, but Infinite still refers to Shadow as his boyfriend. Shadow insists they aren't even friends, but doesn't really passionately refute when Infinite says they are together. He just deflects. Of course he wants to be Infinite's partner, but that commitment is terrifying and he doesn't get how Infinite can be ready to commit like that even though it's been YEARS. It feels so impermanent because Shadow's perception of time is based on his immortality. That's one thing Infinite doesn't have (doesn't really think he has).

Two things jade them: time and people.

Shadow and Infinite won't challenge each other's core values, but time and people will. For Shadow, this comes in the form of his admittedly slightly larger support system: people like Rouge Amy and Big especially, but also Sonic to some degree. Infinite stagnates. His only support system is Shadow, really. He also has, like, Big and Sonic and Wave, but he isn't ever vulnerable with them in the way Shadow is with his. Shadow starts to grow, Infinite doesn't.

Infinite is definitely the worse off in this relationship. Shadow always knew that. They both knew it when they got together. Shadow has a savior complex. He thought he could fix it.

It in fact gets worse. Infinite is just bound to break that unspoken boundary they set, and Shadow has to put his foot down. Only then do they break all of their walls down and talk about those unacknowledgable moments. Only then do they get better. They can't work out unless they start to see each other as equals, but it's a really slow process for them to explore what that looks like or how its possible.

[clotpolesonly]

i am still struggling to wrap my head around Niall's motive for keeping his children so isolated from each other. because it had to be intentional. i cannot imagine any way that it could've sprung up organically. Ronan and Declan grew up in the same household, but they had such vastly different childhoods, and such vastly different perceptions of themselves, each other, and their father.

what really gets my goat is that Ronan didn't know that Declan knew about dreaming.

their house was full of dreams! toasters that didn't plug in, calendars full of the same date, Niall waking up covered in blood and flower petals, filling the living room with [whatever it was that needed to get sucked up by that vacuum bag to nowhere, which the kids were drafted to help with iirc]. there was a literal devil with his dick out on their fucking property, and yet somehow, Ronan was under the impression that Declan simply never noticed any of the weird shit that he himself did notice??

it's one thing with Matthew, who was......i won't call him unintelligent cuz i don't think that's true or fair, but maybe uncurious. he wasn't prone to asking questions about things, at least pre-TDT, and he was very trusting and content to accept easy answers from his loved ones. if someone told him not to worry his pretty little head about something, i think he would simply not, so it's plausible that he would just shrug and accept things and move on.

but Declan is curious. he's observant and shrewd and sensible and skeptical, and he has been since early childhood. it strains credulity for Ronan to honestly think he would just not pick up on anything out of the ordinary in the household they both grew up in.

and the question remains of WHY. why couldn't Declan know? why was Ronan not allowed to tell Declan?? and we know that it was disallowed because of the GW (i think) flashback to Ronan's first memory of dreaming, the little book with the sky in it. he brought it to Aurora, Aurora told him to bury it, and Ronan protested that he wanted to show it to Declan. he wanted to be able to share his creations with his big brother, but his mother shut him down.

the dreaming had to be a secret, and Declan was not in on it, and i don't understand why because he literally already knew. both Niall and Aurora were aware that Declan knew about dreaming, but they led Ronan to believe otherwise -- what purpose could that possible have served?

and what did they tell Declan to convince him that it was necessary? it's one thing to withhold information like they did from Ronan, but for Declan to have so much information, and for him to know that Ronan also had at least some of that information, and for him to never let on that they both know it??

Declan knew about dreaming. he knew that Niall was a dreamer. he knew that Ronan was a dreamer. he knew that Matthew was a dream. he knew that Aurora was a replacement mother. he knew what Niall's true business was. he knew why Niall was killed. he knew that the killers were after Ronan. he knew everything, and he never told Ronan a damn thing.

some of which makes sense. every family has secrets and some are more reasonable than others -- Matthew's birth, for example, or Aurora being a copy, are secrets i can understand being kept, at least through childhood. but dreaming as a concept? Niall and Ronan's dreaming in particular? such enormous parts of all of their shared experience, things that shaped their entire lives? fundamental aspects of their identities and the world at large?

we know (in theory, at least) that Niall loved Declan deeply. and that he strove to love Ronan and make Ronan feel loved. so why would he isolate them from each other? why would he leave Ronan feeling deeply, unequivocally alone without anyone to talk to about what he can do? why would he train Declan to lie about every aspect of his life, even to the people closest to him? why would he foster such intense and completely unnecessary separation between his sons?

and what did he say to them to convince them that they couldn't confide in each other? "Declan loved Ronan, and so Ronan lived." "But i want to show it to Declan!" their first instincts were to love and trust each other, but somehow, very early on, they were taught that they couldn't and shouldn't.

it's fucking tragic and i do not understand what the benefit was supposed to be. i'll never understand it.

[butmakeitgayblog]

sorry seeing those letterboxd reviews you reblogged has set me off, listen i have my own issues with the barbie movie purely because i am a Film Dudebro who prefers more “serious” films by nolan, fincher etc and watches french cinema BUT anyone who says the barbie movie is sexist towards men (or even women) either didn’t watch the movie or has a concerning lack of media literacy 😭 like i wasn’t the biggest fan of it but seeing all these cishet men being such crybabies about a movie about a children’s doll makes me wanna become the barbie movie’s number 1 stan LMAO either way it is very funny and i do recommend watching it! you’ll see what i mean when you do

Here's the thing (and I'm not saying this in a particularly pointed way so don't take it as a commentary on you personally at all because it's not), I find the issue with a lot of men - specifically a large number of cishet men - and certain kinds of media that get them frothing at the mouth is that fundamentally they cannot wrap their heads around the concept that sometimes things just aren't made for them. There are movies and shows that are made without their enjoyment ever being considered as a factor or concern. Sure, there can be messages interwoven into these piece meant for men, little nuggets of thought or perspectives to consider etc, but the project itself was not made to cater to them in any way shape or form. And they're so used to everything in the world being made for their personal enjoyment that I actually think they almost take it as an attack when it's not about them.

And they fucking hate that. Usually on a visceral, if not violent, level. Like how dare you??? Hence the "great now I hate women" type comments. Like babygirl I promise you hated women long before this movie. Probably spent your entire life making fun of everything that seems even remotely feminine or women driven. But when faced with something so blatantly not tailored for their enjoyment and their fantasy, their ears start releasing all the noxious gas that takes up the space where their brain should be to make room for even more misogynistic rage at not being king of the center of the fucking universe for 1 hour and 54 min.

[ask-professor-fig]

Musings of an old man (VI)

I was teaching a class… simple as that. 

It was a regular Tuesday afternoon, I had my first-year students and we were discussing the First Fundamental Law of Magic. A rather simple concept, when you think about it. The more one tampers with the elementary magical laws, the greater and more formidable the consequences would be. A simple enough concept, yet so many dark wizards in the world tried their hand at breaking it on a daily basis.

The class itself was rather small as well, only about a dozen young minds interested in the course. I was seated on the head table, reading from the textbook when my attention was drawn away by a knock at the door.

To her credit, Professor Weasley kept her expression completely neutral. If anything, she had a soft smile on her face. It confused me, especially when she dismissed my class, claiming she needed my assistance. We stayed in my class till the students left, then she ushered me into my own office. After the fact I would be grateful for the privacy but in the moment I was extremely confused. 

Matilda pulled a stool next to my desk chair and motioned for me to sit. I hesitated for a moment before joining her. She placed her hand gently in mine, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Eleazar…” It was strange to hear such a quiet voice from such a strong woman, it didn’t seem to fit. I sat there trying to put the pieces together, it still didn’t make sense. What was she apologizing for? 

“They found her this morning. They used her notes to identify her. She was alone… in a campsite to the south of Poidsear Coast near some ruins.” The more she spoke the less I listened. She couldn’t possibly be speaking of Miriam… my Miriam. 

Miriam had just sent me an owl the day before, telling me about the ruins in Poidsear Coast, how excited she was to search them, how this could be another break in her research. Miriam couldn’t possibly be…

I stood from my chair, practically knocking it over with the force. The room was spinning around me and closing in all at once. I could no longer hear Matilda as she tried to console me, there was no helping at the moment. I may have accidentally pushed her, I cannot remember anymore, on my way out of my office. The journey seems a blur but I do remember rushing to my chambers as quickly as I could. 

I had to write to her, I had to prove them wrong. 

Several other professors attempted to assist me on my journey, I vaguely remember seeing Dinah and Abraham as I left the Astronomy Tower, but thankfully none of them tried to physically stop me. I shudder to think what would have happened had they tried. 

I stumbled to the South Wing, through the doors of the Faculty Tower and nearly barreled into Aesop. He had been heading towards the door with Officer Ruth Singer.

“Ah, there you are, Eleazar.” He hardly used my first name… it was an informality saved for the rarest of occasions. Which meant… if Singer was here… and he was using my name… 

Matilda caught up to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. My breathing became rapid, my heartrate was unsteady, my eyes unfocused, my hands shook. She shifted herself to wrap an arm around my shoulders to support me, thankfully so because any longer on my own and I would have probably collapsed.

“Why don’t we head inside, yes? We can… discuss this.” Matilda nodded to Aesop, who led the four of us to my chambers, the deputy headmistress gently depositing me into an armchair in front of the fireplace. I sat in silence for a few minutes before Aesop sat down next to me. 

“Would you give us a moment?” He asked the two women, who both nodded and stepped out. I stared at the empty fireplace, not giving a damn if it was ever lit again. What would be the point? Would I even care to feel the warmth again?

“You won’t want to hear it from anyone else because I can assure you that there aren’t many other individuals in this building that have experienced this kind of loss besides you and Mudiwa, not that I am aware of at least.” He began, I could feel his eyes fixed on me as he spoke. 

“But after I lost my partner, something changed. I lost a part of myself. She was the closest thing I could have ever imagined myself having to a spouse, so I can imagine the pain you are feeling… and I am going to tell you one of the oddest yet most comforting things I have ever heard when it first happened.” I managed to face him, a knowing look covering his features.

“In another time, in a happier place, you’ll meet again.” It would be an unfortunately long time before I remembered to thank Aesop for these words. However, he thankfully understood that it would take time for me to reach out.

He left soon after, and I assumed he took Matilda and Officer Singer with him, none of them returning that evening, and I was left in the silence of my chambers. It took a while to gather the will to move, and when I did I noticed a letter on a side table. I lifted myself from the chair and made my way to it, gently picking up the parchment with shaking fingers. 

Eleazar,

You were right about the Bowtruckles. I owe you a Knut.

Miriam

I used the wall behind me to slide to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I placed the parchment back on the table. 

I couldn’t get it wet with my tears… It was the last letter she had sent to me.

[thefangirltreehouse]

general observations (cyberpunk 2077)

just to preface, i’ve not played through the main story at all since 2021 on my base playstation four and i’m currently replaying on my playstation five. i played as fem!corpo!v both times. this will probably have continued updates as i get further into the endgame.

“don’t look now, but that’s jenkins’ girl.” i know it’s probably not intentional but that sounds like a loaded statement.

the way kerry calls fem!v “doll” is so fuckin’ cute.

wakako calls her “honey” which again, very cute. also was dying at her “is this the dali lama?” when v sarcastically implies she simply couldn’t fathom murdering for money.

the peralez’s are one of those couples and i cannot get that out of my head.

fuck the voodoo boys. i didn’t pay much attention the first play-through and ended up siding with them because of how much the game makes it clear that you shouldn’t trust corpos and i hadn’t wrapped my head around the evelyn stuff. choose netwatch and felt a little better this time.

joshua still makes my skin scrawl and i dislike those like him irl but i wish we had more interactions like what happened with vasquez - him seeing v as a legitimate dangerous liability. (i’m genuinely surprised they didn’t do that with river, surely he done some digging into v?)

i’m terribly paraphrasing but i’ve noticed there is a couple of thugs in a coronado / arroyo side mission that are like “yo, that’s v.”

i saved brick and royce, kinda disappointed you’re stuck with royce in the totentanz mission - nice to see dum dum remember v by name and how nippy v gets over jackie’s mention.

royce - or millitech obviously kill brick because his grave is there

honestly i just wanted more of the ol’ samurai geezers.

i forgot just how many npc’s hit on fem!v in comparison to male!v like, fingers guards, jacob, the roadie, general population, the bargest guards when leaving the black sapphire (that might be both v’s), they also say “ooh! you little whore!” and also kerry’s “nice rack” dig at johnny. not to mention how many folk call her a bitch, slut, cunt and white during combat.

skippy’s disturbia never gets old, especially considering it’s seventy-years-old at that point.

i still don’t understand why there isn’t an option to give kerry back his guitar - that he clearly wants back - if you’ve met him before the padré side-quest.

really not a fan of having to build quickhacks when you’re essentially buying a blueprint.

“where’s kerry been hiding you?” oh he definitely told them the ‘new output’ shtick.

jesus christ it is so much easier to make money now.

i know it’s the future and things are a little more blasé plus he’s an old, jaded rockstar but i was a little taken aback with just how much kerry calls us cracks “whores, cunts, sluts and bitches” like chill.

a little disappointed aurore had no intention of fucking v.

i can’t stand grimes but i wish we had one more mission for lizzy wizzy

style-wise, phantom liberty is a massive step-up but the clothing in this game is atrocious especially if you want to wear anything girly.

it’s nice to be able to see the colour of v’s hair this time.

i love my little type-66 avenger.

corpo!fem!v is the perfect foil to johnny. also love how some the most notable people in johnny’s life are women. alt, rogue, denny, nancy and depending on your choice, v.

i don’t really ship johnny with v, but the “old married couple” dig was spot-on.

i’m personally conflicted on so-mi, but i’d probably lean towards saving her. that said, i fundamentally believe v wouldn’t. she’s looking for a lifeline and so-mi purposely dangled it over her. she’s not got beef with the nusa, they’re offering what so-mi cannot.

still cannot stand the photo-mode filters.

i’m forever curious about the sobchak cut storyline that was given to river and takemura.

vik’s mocking, “ooOOoooh” towards zetatech and not being allowed drink on the job.

leigh’s acting when johnny simply takes v’s body after the rogue arasaka mission and just the entire langley section are so well executed. v and river’s farewell’s in langley and in the badlands will always break my heart.

sampson’s grave just read’s “he loved his car.”

[nazmazh]

Not that I speak for my whole generation, let alone GenZers too, but man...

My parents and their friends are such fuckin' Boomers(TM) about certain generation differences.

It's all "Nobody wants to work", "People want too much money for too little effort and that's why nobody likes hiring them."

And, like. Just... Ugh.

Trying to explain things to them from the point of view of someone who gets lumped in as "one of them damned Millennial socialist-types" (which, I mean, I am, but still - my points don't stop existing because of that) or what have you, would be like trying to explain particle physics to a brick.

They just utterly cannot wrap their heads around the idea that things have changed in significant ways.

That even with consumer goods being cheaper, the costs of living, especially establishing yourself when you're young have gone way up - Rent/housing, vehicles, food, maintenance, loan payments, etc. - God forbid you actually want to start a family on top of all of that.

While wages effectively decrease more and more, especially relative to the amount of actual productivity generated.

And that with that, a lot of the "stay late, put in 110%" mentality (while being toxic and fundamentally just being free labour for employers, which we're all more conscious of as being, well, shitty for us workers) - That stuff isn't a nicety that'll make you stand out and look good for an employer come promotion-time. It's just expected or outright demanded of you. And when it comes time to promote or at least give raises? Nah - They'll nickel and dime and hem and haw about giving their own workers more money or less duties - They'll just bring in someone who feels more exploited somewhere else - And then turn around and complain about disloyalty when their employees leave for greener pastures in the same way.

And we're all a lot more conscious of the ill-effects of too much stress and poor work-life balance, so we try to push back against being overworked and burnt out where we can (That being said I absolutely do know people my age and younger who willingly get into that "grind mindset" and I worry for them. Like, are they actually getting enough money to meaningfully get ahead? Or are they just working themselves into an early grave for no real benefit?)

It's no longer the "just walk in, shake the manager's hand, work in the same place until retirement and comfortably make enough to buy a house and raise your kids through university with your partner being a SAHP." world anymore.

Like, the Boomers just don't get that we're in a situation where working harder doesn't translate to meaningful improvements for our lives.

To the point that it feels impossible to meaningful get ahead and achieve "milestones".

And when you're stating that down, expecting it to only get worse because of policies Boomers voted into place and by-and-large continue to vote into place. And that this is the expectation of how your life is going to be for the next 40+ years- It does lead to a sort of crushing, existential despair.

And if that doesn't break you just a little bit, well you're probably doing a lot better than a lot of people.

So there's two approaches that emerge from that (and they're not mutually-exclusive):

The first is just to check out. "If this job isn't gonna pay my bills no matter how good I do it, I'm just gonna do enough not to get fired."

And honestly, there's always been people like this in the workforce. The Olds are just mad because "How dare someone young not hop-to when they ought to!" They'll complain about useless coworkers of the same age too, but not with the same vitriol. Not with the same disdain. And they won't dismiss the whole generation as "lazy" or worse because if them.

The second strategy is to embrace what you can - Enjoy our many frivolous things. Toys (including recreational vehicles), games, computers, phones, streaming services, makeup, clothes, good food, whatever floats your boat. Because, as I said, those sorts of things are relatively less expensive these days.

Because if you're gonna never really be able to get a house, no amount of cutting back on avocado toast is gonna change that. And there's no point in denying yourself little joys indefinitely to aspire to it.

And this offends The Olds, because, 'how dare you have conspicuous consumption of any kind of you complain about not being able to afford rent or a mortgage?!". And back in the day, maybe you could save a meaningful amount if you cut back on little luxuries, and it would make enough of a difference to get you into a house/whatever your goal was notably sooner. And it'd only mean tightening your belt for a pre-determined amount of time - Not in perpetuity.

And of course, that's assuming you have the luxury of disposable income at all. I know I'm relatively privileged with an MSc (even if disability means I can't work, myself), let alone any university, so my friend circle is largely similarly privileged. There's plenty of people - Both younger and older than me - That can't even cut back on luxuries to save, because there's no money going to luxuries, period.

I guess the shift is that even things that used to guarantee you a "good, middle-class life" aren't really guaranteeing that anymore.

The kicker is that they too complain about life being shitty, work sucking, etc.

But then when anyone proposes that maybe the whole system is broken and we could rethink it?

Well, now that's outrageous! "How dare you be so ungrateful and not just pull yourself by your bootstraps you lazy slacker?! And why bother trying to change things? Just get sloppy drunk every night at the bar after work or something like that. That's how we've always coped as a society!"

I don't know if I ultimately have a point or solution to any if this, beyond, like, a total societal shift in the way we approach labour compensation and property commodification.

I just needed to get this ranting out of my system after holding my tongue at the table, several hours ago at this point.

Because as much as I disagree with their whole approach, down to their utter lack of empathy for those suffering in a world they helped make, there wouldn't be anything meaningful for me to actually gain by engaging them on their misinformation in the heat of the moment.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to look up the difference between a fermion and a boson for a conversation I'm about to have with a paving stone.

[catchingbigfish]

Just popping in to say that your seminar paper sounds fascinating! If you feel like sharing more about it feel free, but completely no pressure at all. Your description of it in your tags just intrigued me~

oh my god thank you, you have NO idea how hyped i am to get a chance to talk about it!! this is going to be wayyyyy too much info and incredibly long, but i have no one to talk about except my class and we don't meet again until next thurs!

okay so i'm taking a rhetorics grad class and writing about, generally, the rhetoric of christian deconstruction and deconstructors' reclamation of power -- for anyone who doesn't know, deconstruction means people (i've only ever heard this in a christian context but i'm sure this could apply to other religions, i just genuinely am unfamiliar with those spaces) who decide to examine their faith, which is a super complicated process. this can range from "what is the biblical evidence for this topic" all the way to "do i still agree with this belief". so, i'm looking at: how do they talk about their experience of deconstruction, and what new sites of power do they adopt when leaving their faith

more specifically, though, i'm actually writing about memoirs published by two Duggar daughters (of the 19 Kids and Counting television show/franchise) this year! Jill Dillard published what is the closest thing there is to a Duggar-adjacent tell-all, and her sister Jinger Vuolo published a "theological memoir", where she explicitly refused to adopt the term "deconstruction" and instead created a new term, "disentanglement". for those who don't know, the Duggar family is a member of the Independent Fundamental Baptist denomination and the Institute in Basic Life Principles parachurch organization, both of which promote biblical patriarchy (aka, the man is the head of the house and the woman must submit to him) and purity culture (aka, your value is entirely determined by your virginity, and men are terrible horny creatures who cannot control themselves. also, women can't wear pants). both daughters' memoirs are about how they are no longer members of the IBLP, and to an extent, the IFB.

my pitch for the paper was to look at the IFB/IBLP rhetoric about power (the "umbrella of authority" in particular, but generally purity culture and biblical patriarchy) and then examine their new stated beliefs and how they negotiated the power to assert them -- like, looking at Dillard's discussion of her choice to start wearing pants and how she wanted her husband to just tell her what to do, and how when that resulted in blowback from her father, she attempted to placate him (as part of her "umbrella of authority") by calling him before she got a nose ring; and, of course, looking at how she had to deconstruct the belief in the "umbrella" to even write the book. also, looking at how Vuolo's memoir is influenced by her husband's career as a pastor and even though she's distanced herself from the headship/helpmeet dynamic, she's still replicating it by saying she shouldn't have control over her own life.

this has already gotten crazy long, so i'll put more about my research under a cut!!

i've been doing a lot of reading on super varied topics, but i'm reading a lot of TJ Geiger, Bethany Mannon, and Amorette Hinderaker -- the first two specifically look at exvangelical (ex-evangelical christian) rhetorics.

the paper i mentioned in my tags was specifically "Forgiveness Is More Than Platitudes: Evangelical Women, Sexual Violence, and Casuistic Tightening" by Geiger; it's a study of Beth Moore and the gymnast Rachel Denhollander, who both publicly condemned the church's response to abusers. it's *such* a good article, it took me forever to wrap my head around it (coming from a non-christian perspective who had no idea what the fuck casuistic meant) but it's absolutely fascinating, and argues Denhollander and Moore are, in essence, un-flattening the roles between "abuse victim" and "sexually immoral" and demanding churches make forgiveness more costly for the abuser instead of allowing them to brush abusers' crimes away by saying "god forgives them and you should, too". Mannon also wrote about Moore! she's what led me down this rabbit hole, i read a *different* article about Moore in Peithos, a feminist rhetoric journal, for a different project this semester!

Hinderaker looks at "organizational exit", a hot topic in organizational psychology, but she looks specifically at high-control religions instead of workplaces, which is where most of the research was before. i haven't confirmed this, but i suspect she may be ex-mormon? she has a really good article about the way people narrate their decision to leave high-demand religious groups, and argues the "reach" of an organization into a participant's life is actually the primary factor in exit, which goes against previous research (which focused on pay as the most important factor).

okay, i promise i'm almost done. i also read Pure by Linda Kay Klein for fun, then realized about 1/4 of the way in it fits the paper perfectly, because it's really about purity culture rhetorics. i also read The Preacher's Wife, which is about evangelical women celebrities, and helped me frame Vuolo's book in particular. the other genre i've been reading a lot is the general topic of feminist rhetorics, women's rhetorics, conservative and evangelical rhetorics, etc., which basically culminates in Charlotte Hoggs' article "Including Conservative Women’s Rhetorics in an 'Ethics of Hope and Care'", which is explicitly about incorporating the study of conservative rhetorics in the feminist rhetorics field.

[ilovemywifealot]

how.

how is the world continuing to move with the amount of bombings, the amount of loss, the continuous deaths. why do people turn away—why does anyone care to justify this as necessary? palestines existence came far before israel. whole entire family names are being demolished from existence and someones gotten starbucks for their pet call duck to film a cute tiktok. i see the line for the mcdonalds get bigger each time as i go to grab my groceries. i wash the dishes thinking about the horrifying imagery i have seen without filter—and the many palestinian people who have no barrier from it in the first place, that have intricate familiarity attached to who they have lost. they cannot run, but i have privileges to do so at any time by looking away. we all do. i think about what ive learned about the beautiful culture they’ve made through all this suffering that still prevails. i think about them making it, even now, in the dust of rubble on their hands with what little is left. i think about the fact that no matter what happens, palestine will always prevail.

why does anyone have to appeal to humanity to have people care about palestine, and why do many people still have the selfishness to consume the very things that fund the genocide? they act like not consuming fundamentally harmful things is one the hardest thing they’ve ever done. what about losing your loved ones?

i just can’t wrap my head around how people can keep moving like nothing is happening.

[charubblogs]

CF: Oh i've been seeing romance talk on tumblr going about! I should attempt to throw in a few cents.

CF: cherubs don't have much of a formal romance system but we do have a word for it, unfortunately the vocal chord's needed to pronounce it only grow when we can wrap around a planet at least once so i think ill call it...Oblidoration.

CF: it's hard to pin down what it feels like, but it feels like finding something lost that you hated, something that you thought you managed to shed away rearing its horrid head, it becomes an all consuming thought that you can't rid yourself off until you decide to devout your entirety to that feeling of deep...

CF: Well its not loathing! its not like you automatically hate them, you just met them, you don't know anything about them, its just a deep fundamental opposition that you feel as though you cannot ignore. for the moment, for two consenting giga space snakes the worlds fall apart and nothing exists except for the other giga space snake opposite them.

CF: i'm doing my best to give this the flowery language that it deserves because i'm sure it really is a beautiful feeling as its the last thing a cherub will ever feel but its hard to describe how it functions because to many it just looks like two massive world eating snakes ripping each other to shreds in a hellfire of cosmic energy and eternally burning hatred.

CF: but i swear!!! there is more to it, like the fight portion is not really a fight but a deeply ingrained dance! that...devolves into fighting when they get close enough. ok im seeing where other species may get confused about all of this, i get it.

[daisybrained]

My brain is constantly bouncing around the seeming consensus from M*levens that Mike is going to find out Will’s in love with him and will accept it/be fine with it, and it won’t ruin their friendship. Narratively, I pretty much agree that Mike finding out has to happen, but I cannot wrap my head around the second half - that Mike will just accept it, and won’t let it affect their closeness.

The way they talk about this eventual reveal feels almost like they’re actually only considering a scenario where Will comes out as gay to Mike. I can see their version of Mike being fine with that; it would be, to him, a neutral fact about Will that doesn’t have anything to do with Mike specifically, and would require no action on Mike’s part except to say “Okay, you’re still my best friend and I accept you.”

But “My Girlfriend’s Brother Who Is Also My Best Friend Is In Love With Me Romantically” is not a neutral fact. It is inherently a question that requires an answer, which, at its most basic, is either going to be Yes or No. Whichever answer Mike gives is going to fundamentally change the nature of their relationship. If he answers Yes, they become romantically tied. If he answers No, Will becomes the rejected party and Mike gets his romantic happy ending with Will’s sister while Will watches heartbroken from the sidelines. It doesn’t matter how kindly Mike says “no homo.” If we’re being actually realistic (because they always talk about it being Realistic that Will ends up alone), a rejection like that would create, at the very least, some seriously awful awkwardness and distance in one of the biggest, most important relationships in the show.

And I feel like people who think this way never actually do that follow-through. Yes, they agree, Mike has to find out, but then it just stops there. There is no real reckoning with this fact or what it would actually look like for Will to be rejected.

[coralillough]

Okay it's because I'm autistic and perhaps also because I'm female, but I fundamentally cannot understand the severe desire for biological children, especially in men. Even when I ask men to explain it to me, I get so insanely lost and can't wrap my head around it. What the hell is the perceived "need" for biological children. Why do women do insanely painful, effective-by-chance fertility treatments. The ones for men aren't nearly as painful but fertility treatment for either sex is just wildly expensive. Why do people justify surrogacy to themselves and the world around them. Why would they do all of this over adoption. Why.