#gdocs: aRe yoU inSANe???&

[asleepinawell]

at one point the grammar check/suggest thing in gdocs would occasionally be useful and now it's like

me: "The boy walked down the street."

gdocs: lol no it clearly should be "To boys wash dogs on them streets." you fool. you imbecile

like...hello????

[kodokberjamur]

Uhh so I blacked out, and—

[asmolbirb]

WRITING IS HELL

[numbuh424]

H HELLO????

[astrxealis]

fun story i got the dlc of 'a date with death' at school LMFAO ..... i have cash but not gcash (it's a filipino thing) so i was talking w my friend in class who also played the game (and she calls me a nerd /pos a lot lol) and i was like i want the dlc but i have no gcash... and she was like ok i'll give you gcash..... enabler ....... but also she wants me to tell her abt it so. ^_^ ecks dee

[acircusfullofdemons]

will literally never not be over this number. 97 images ... if I showed up to an autism diagnosis with just that they'd diagnose me instantly /j

[wedriftlikelonelyplanets]

Back by popular demand, my insanity.

You don’t have to know the context just know I’m being insane in the gdocs…

“Lando?” Max pushes into the room, and Lando’s scrambling to cover Oscar with a blanket, as Oscar yelps, high and embarrassed. Max stops dead when he’s pushed the door open enough to see them both, eyes glimmering in the dark of the room. He rolls his shoulders back, tilts his head, and just observes for a moment. Lando feels the weight of his gaze like a brand, glances over to meet his eyes, before he glances over at Oscar, who’s turned so pink he’s practically incandescent.

“Jesus, look at you,” Max says, “Look at the fucking state of you.” His voice is a drawl, commanding in a way that sends a shiver up Lando’s spine. “Didn’t actually think you’d get up to anything while I was gone, but looks like I was wrong, hey, Bob,” there’s an edge to his voice that even has Oscar squirming, tugging against the ropes binding his hands to the headboard. “Both of you, so fucking pretty,” Max’s voice is reverent and Lando’s not expecting it.

There’s a flush creeping up Lando’s cheeks, and he scrubs his hands over his face, turns away from Max for a moment to swallow around the lump in his throat.

[disarmd]

sorry im insane and still thinking about in anticipation

maybe oscar at first had to keep his cage on bc as you said “maybe mark doesn’t remember it” they don’t fuck often so it rarely comes up. later on he can unlock himself if needed, lando is extremely jealous, but with time he gets more and more depressed and he dissociate so hard his libido is dead ☠️

when he arrives at daniel’s and see lando getting fucked it’s the frist time in months something stirred -> he gets obsessed with eating lando out (the idea of it daniel is not letting that happen) -> caged simulated sex

Okay so literally yesterday I hit like 10k words on In Abidance, and I was like, what the fuck am I doing, how is this story so long, no one’s going to want to read this, there’s still so much left to write, what have I done.

And then I woke up this morning and you’d sent me this ask and I was like ‼️🥰‼️ Nonnie is still thinking about the story!!!!!!!! Like most welcome message to receive at the most perfect time. I really do feel like some of you are psychically connected to my gdocs, it’s incredible.

Everything you’ve said basically is what happened! I don’t really know how to describe it… there’s just also like. A story layered on top of that? But I think that’s misleading because it’s not a different story or anything. I’ve written a lot about Oscar’s life. Maybe I’ll say that this one reads more like hurt/comfort flavoured hurt/comfort? So it’s not broadly as horny as the precious ones. Well, in fact right now it’s not horny at all, but I spent some time writing in my head and I’ve got like half a dozen different options for how it could go, so I’ll see what ends up feeling right.

As you can probably imagine, navigating the emotional states of Oscar AND Lando AND Daniel is like playing 4D chess. It’s very easy for none of them to have a good time. Where In Absentia was unhinged porn with a sneaky actual plot, I think this is more of the reverse. God, I started the post saying I was worried no one would read this and the more I describe it the more I’m sure this is making it even less appealing. I don’t fucking know. But I am working on it! And I’m truly delighted you were also thinking about it, nonnie, 🫶🫶🫶

[strawberry-daiquiris]

AO3 Wrapped!

nobody tagged me in this hahahah i just wanted to keep a record like i did last year so this is a mash up of a couple of different versions (not figg as i first posted lol)

Works Published: 26 (including 1 anon fic)

Comment Threads: 791

Word Count: 222,139 (took jump right in out of the total because most of it was written/half was published in 2023 but ao3 includes it in the latest updated year for stats)

Top 3 Kudosed Fics:

(again... ignoring jump right in... sort of)

🏆 hard on the brakes

🥈 lay your open hand

🥉 something dumb to do

Top Word Count:

🏆 lay your open hand (51k)

🥈 still reserved for me (35k)

🥉 girls just wanna f1 tumblr fics (15k)

Top Ships:

🏆 landoscar

🥈 🥉 a tie between piastrell and piastrella, as it should be <3

and then some additional questions, cutting this for dash length purposes...

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?  this one is so hard... last year i had a stand out because jump right in was (and still is) such a huge accomplishment. i guess i'm proud of still reserved for me because it's a continuation of a world i feel so happy in, and even though the readers have dropped off a lot i feel like i'm writing for a group of people who really Get and Love the two of them. it makes me proud to have managed to build something like that!!!

i'm also just proud of the sheer word count... insane... stupid... get a grip.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? oh 100% the piastrells... really didn't think anyone else apart from about 4 certified fellow freaks were going to be into them as a pairing, but i've had some lovely, insightful feedback about them and their relationship that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!!!

What work was the quickest to write? just like last year i've got a few fics that were one session wonders. sun down and i'm feeling lifted aka help i think i fancy some driver's sisters, this (maybe not so now) anon when i was hit by the Future of F1, the tarkov nortrell and all of the andrea/oscar fics that were basically me working through my sport emotions, lol.

What work took you the longest to write?  i started the gdoc of what became lay your open hand in april and posted it december, but i was only properly working on it from some point in september. still reserved for me took the best part of two months as well. next year i have 3 wips i'd lke to actually finish that could steal the title tbh.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? rule 63 babyyyyyy!!!! closely followed by age difference and magical realism, which tracks.

Your favourite character to write this year? toss up between oscar and max fewtrell, which explains nicely why the brittle fics are my highlights of 2024.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? lando still stressing me out to this day... i think i am nearly there with the voice (although frightened of over using in case i fall into it sounding forced) but the rapidly changing state of mind on that man... i think i love him so much it's hard to feel like i ever capture him properly, the wriggly little wormy thing.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? i think there's a jendo in me bubbling below the surface.

Favourite work you wrote this year? oh i think i have already answered this by going on and on about it, but brittle it shakes, closely followed by something to sink your teeth into and a podium finish for float away like vapour.

ok sorry if you read this because it was LONG... i'm also going to make a few new years resolutions...

i'm going to get better at replying to comments and not feel shame if i go back and respond to ones from a while ago

stop being hard on yourself, stop deciding a fic is rubbish and then hate it/want to delete it, stop holding yourself to DEADLINES... it's not that deep, it's not a job, it's supposed to be FUN

i'm going to read more - i will stop saving fics for 'the best time for them' and start reading them when they come out so that i don't miss my chance.

[hyruling]

i’ve posted this before but there are new additions to my insane gdoc organization. again you would never know i am a virgo

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Yippee new chapter!!! which i found within 10 minutes through tumblr, prolly earliest i’ve ever been ngl. I genuinely don’t know why but I spoke so much in this one? I’m not even halfway through the chapter and I’ve written the same amount I do for most chapters? It’s 3am i gotta sleep for now i write these up in Gdocs they’re so long anyway

Onto the notes, major spoilers for Ladies of the Ladyblog, chapter 77 of Panthera Noire!

this is also super long so scroll really fast if you want to skip!!

—

Where we last left off was rather intense for the plotline, however cap, you madman, have called this 11k chapter a filler chapter! 

I highly doubt it’s all filler and there’s zero hints of what’s to come but we shall see, i do so adore the ‘filler’ chapters in PN they’re always so cute

Omg the foretold Alya and Juleka interaction i didn’t know we’re opening with it… 

I also have to say the characters voices are so clear in this, their mannerisms are like so well documented and unique enough that it’s obvious who’s who you’re genuinely such a talented writer but characters specifically are such a strong suit of yours

Ok and it’s an alya POV, i like it, picasso

Alya grabbing her hand so she can’t just disappear is so cute i love them

Adam Charment mention⁉️

He’s the goat actually, like a really good character, built so well i can appreciate that while disliking him as was his purpose, and Prince Shining was a fantastic end to that arc

I do like seeing how people think of Akuma’s contextually, there being discourse about how to treat akuma’s with respect for the victim while also understanding how some are more dangerous than others is very nice

Juleka nearly dying on camera is just genuinely insane, what if her friends are just scrolling social media and that clip pops up that’s crazy

It is also cute that Alya sees Juleka as her camerawomen, cause she is! But shes like “Oh dear i hate when she physically fights the Akuma’s like who does that?” and that’s literally her day job

“Slack on the group effort” In relation to Juleka being in danger… is there a GC dedicated to trying to keep Juleka away from Akuma attacks or at least a common goal the poor girl clearly hasn’t noticed?

I do like the small stuff about blog trolls with alya wanting to get rid while Juleka is the balance saying they’ve got to see your important information

HELP it’s not funny but the fact that Juleka is so entirely moved on from Prince Shining while Alya is still like so focussed on it makes so much sense

OTHER MAGIC REFERENCE? IN MY PANTHERA NOIRE??

Ok wait alya thinking more deeply on Juleka and Panthera being in the same room is intriguing. It’s clear the glamour hasn’t broken but it was like stretched thin by those paying attention, is the magic maybe still redirecting Alya from that line of thinking while not being as quick to do so?

Oh dear alya is truly rather traumatised by Prince Charming it would seem… Juleka would like be so befuddled by how much people don’t want her to die or be hurt with how much disregard for her safety she has

Omg i know i mentioned it before but those doodles of rose and marinette reacting completely differently to juleka saying she’d die for them live rent free in my mind, Rose is so sweet and careful to not dismiss it. I wonder how marinette would react if it was Juleka who said it instead of Panthera, it’d be crazy to see Juleka throwing herself into something and LB sort of freaking out like the dissonance would be freaky

Rizz

“I hold hands with Marinette all the time!” yeah, gayly, in a sapphic manner

Oh girl… alya kiss your best friend

Comparing juleka to a teddy bear that’s floppy cause it has missing stuffing is SO cute, i’m imaging one of those like Jelly Cat ones and it has big coraline button eyes. Might draw that. Not sure.

Omg not the way i was gonna bring up them getting paid earlier, i feel like you could be insane and have a legal battle sub arc where the superheroes sue the companies who try to claim fair use but they have a pro bono lawyer whos like some sort of cool lady who kicks ass and takes names

Juleka baby… the strongest morals on the planet, “Isn’t that lying?” girl has one big secret she has to keep and she thinks that uses up all her lying points so she has to be so super honest about everything else lest she idk get karma from the cosmos

It’s a cereal box

Which represents larger issues at play in the story obvi, but oh girl….

shaving her hair? Are you bringing up their season 6 designs? Omg that hair style would go SO hard on Juleka and I’d love to see your version of it if you end up drawing it out. Honestly, Alya’s hair in Season 6 also slays 

It’s so funny to me that Juleka is either behind the scenes or briefly on the ladyblog, like if marinette joined in too at some point which i’m sure she must’ve done, then Alya would just be unknowingly hanging about with both heroes of paris while speculating about them

OMG NO Alya darling… my little unreliable narrator juleka hasn’t prompted me to think of any of this but worrying about how people think of Alya employing the danger magnet when they’re trying really hard to get her to stop that is so upsetting

Oh my sweet girls… 

Ofc i knew Juleka was just being the low self worth queen whenever she worried about not getting Alya footage due to heroing or lack of time, but seeing the vehemence that Alya defends Juleka for that is so cute. She prolly even feels relieved cause she thinks Juleka avoided danger for once

Omg whenever Juleka is revealed to anyone as Panthera, which I’ve always assumed will happen in this and not in an epilogue or something but I don’t mind whatever you choose I’m sure is appropriate, they’re going to be SO sad and heartbroken by all she’s done, aren’t they?

This chapter feels tailor made for me i’m being so real… we get other characters perspective on things, how they perceive Juleka, and now LB is here? The lesser seen interactions with these sides of the masks present is glorious

OMG NOT LB STUTTERING

This is EVERYTHING to me Cap

Ofc Juleka doesn’t want to bother her partner on her Patrol but LB is like omg my beautiful best friend whom I love wants my attention

Once again Alya noting the strangeness of Juleka in relation to the heroes, this time in how relaxed she is with LB. idk if normal people notice that or if the glamour is thinner for alya due to her closeness and curiosity plus having more pieces due to being a hero 

The identity shenanigans at play here are fabulous

Idk why but the line “and she flung herself away.” made me giggle, in no way was Marinette graceful during that interaction at all, the idea of her like bouncing away like a loony tunes character is so correct feeling

Good lord seeing juleka spiral about a minute mistake from an outside perspective makes it feel so much less, well important isn’t the word, more so like anxiety? Not that it doesn’t read as anxiety when in Juleka’s POV but it feels world endingly bad every time and now all of a sudden I’m realising just how much catastrophizing juleka does

Alya immediately trying to fix this is cute but also so incredibly obvious to the panthera noir of it all and like WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALYA IS GOING TO MESSAGE THAT GC IN FRONT OF JULEKA OBVIOUSLY REFERENCING THEIR DISCUSSION

WHAT IS HAPPENING RN

Ok not quite so obvious but also pretty fucking obvious, Juleka plays this very cool actually, but the fact that she now knows alya is one of like 4 people to have her number is still so obvious. And it came from rena rouge presumably? Omg i’m going to die what’s happening cap i always hope for some sort of reveal because it would be so much fun but now faced with onoe after so long i’m lost what do i do with myself

Omg she said the line

Why is juleka always slut shaming her hero persona-

Alya just being so offended for Juleka’s unintentional sexism is so funny, the observational and patient goat tho had a good response i love her

Don’t think i haven’t noticed the mentions of Alya noticing Juleka being jacked btw, i have and i love it cause Juleka fails to notice it herself so it’s a rare treat

YOU SAID THIS WAS FILLER WHY’S THERE AN AKUMA

I’m being so real this is like all my favourite niche moments; Juleka fighting the Akuma instead of transforming is always GOOD

Ussing a bum bag to kill something is so fucking funny- 

Alya just panicking like oh fuck I’m the superhero at times! And her friend more importantly! Why can’t i protect her??

Also ink monster is very well written, imagery and the words used are all top notch :) 

Since Juleka has been filmed doing this there has GOT to be like a subsection of people who want to know more about her, like hey that’s the girl who nearly died and she’s fought Akuma’s head on multiple times

Oh my god… Rena does make sense for this, illusions when the guy can create shit tracks, but Juleka baby gorl… just let her put you somewhere safe, LB can deal for a bit…

She’d feel so accomplished :( 

Omg cute we’ve got fantasy creatures from Evilustrator? Slay

Did Juleka fully forget that she’s not transformed? That’s interesting usually i think she keeps in mind she doesn’t have quite so much protection… interesting development. Also the phrase “this is your job” could technically refer to her vaguely knowing Alya’s identity? Due to the text? Maybe? It’s a reach.

The dichotomy of man; get Juleka to leave so she can pick up her miraculous, keep juleka there so she can keep her safe…

Alya’s internal dialogue has been fantastic this chapter btw

Ofc LB did the spiderman kiss pose to greet Alya she’s so extra

I do like her going disaster mode while transformed due to her crush and the worry about reveals and all that it’s cute

MAYBE IT’S NOT A REACH

Panthera HATES when someone else is a distraction but the amount she’s looking at Rena could either be due to that or due to knowing just who under the mask is the distraction

Yet another subtle example of Panthera letting LB take the lead on Akuma’s, not just in coming up with a plan, she didn’t even say hey hang on Rena doesn’t have to be the distraction, but also let Marinette figure out the motivation for Akumatisation

Also an example of how LB is confusing as a leader to anyone but Panthera! She immediately knew there’d be a chance she would have to play distraction and LB doesn’t really detail her reasons, just expects them to do what asked immediately. Which obvi her plans always pan out but her communication could use some work, which you don’t notice so much in Panthera’s POV

Oh dear, Ladybug’s faith in Panthera and dedication to committing to the plan does come across cavalier to others, and I know she doesn’t actually want Panthera hurt but in Akuma battles but anything seems to go because the miracle cure fixes everything up, doesn’t change memories tho

OOO ok work, Alya coming up with a new plan on the fly is nice! LB rolling with it is surprising tho

Oh ofc LB is actually a bit miffed but I respect how she handles it

Aww she’s asking her out in vaugest terms ever they’re so cute

And they both Love Juleka which is so sweet but she might just know who both of them are? Maybe.

I love that, Alya just shouting at reporters and not liking how they do it cause she knows how to be normal about it! Juleka is limping? Um girl why?

SHOVING a mans FACE is icon behaviour, i love her

Juleka was fr reenacting doom that’s so perfect for her actually

OMG she’s interviewing them Rena is gonna be on the blog and Juleka is getting them being so sugary nice to her because they expect different things from her than Panthera, Alya’s so proud of her i’m like emotional

The fact that Juleka isn’t trying to call Alya to get an interview with Rena who she’s famously missed is another reason why she’s gotta know

Yeah ok she knows I just didn’t want to get too excited, “creole right?” oh girl

This is also super cute as an interview, I want to think that people will be chill with it because it’s all so earnest, that thing about favourite colours was so cute. But also kinda weird cause Juleka hasn’t been this nervous in front of the heroes like ever, maybe it’s knowing who Rena is?

Interesting, does Juleka think Rena doesn’t like Panthera? Prolly, but she’s also concerned about being seen as her boss? More interesting is that Juleka clearly sees it as an equal co in charge thing that the team must see but LB clearly sees it as she’s the boss

Oh no the interview became a battle field

You’re so right at the end there, someone finally seeing Juleka as more than a nervous wee thing which she is but yknow is also unhinged, ofc Alya noticed it first 

I do still like that people worry about Juleka, and how we saw Alya worrying about Panthera too, i don’t think she’s shown people worrying enough, like after Prince charming she was over there making out with rose and was like why did they interrupt why do they care? 

You called it filler but I think it was a fantastic bridge between what we’ve seen and what’s to come, if I’m wrong about the reveal then I’ll simply lose my mind, it would make sense thematically for Alya to be the first revealed because when she was first introduced as a hero Panthera was SO suspicious, but we shall see…

least filler chapter ever actually, i fear if you tried to write a beach episode you'd still manage to cram plot relevance into it

I loved this chapter sooo sooo much, everything about it was fantastic

OKAY NO NO NO SHE DOESNT KNOW! JULEKA STILL DOESNT KNOW! BUT SHES REALLY PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES LEMME SAY THAT!!!! IM SO SORRY!!!

Ahem; okay, Juleka STILL DOES NOT KNOW! But she knows the most any normal personal can know underneath the veil of glamour. She's REALLY close. The only thing holding her back is the magic itself forcing her not to make a conclusion.

She knows far more than Rena intended her to, and thats what she realizes; "oh no, juleka is REally good at wringing out info"- so much of the endearment and stutters through the interview were Juleka being purposeful! Kinda clicking into her proficiency in acting from the Shining arc!

As for the texts! Alya, as Alya, does have Panthera's number. In the Shanghai chapters, Panthera is able to easily get texts from just Alya. My bad! It's a bit vague and we aren't supposed to know all the details since it's Alya pov but-! Thought it'd explain as the author so things arent confusing!

SPEAKING OF ALYAS POV! Man she was fun to write! She doesnt panic as much as Juleka, so it was really weird to write things as they are. Shes just, seeing things as they are! I hope to write her the most clear of untrustworthy narrators because unlike Hero Complex Dupain Cheng and Anxiety Couffaine; Alya is a seeker of truth!

Theres lots of fun bits in this chapter that would make complete sense if we saw it in Julekas eyes, but we didnt, and I had fun writing those things from Alyas less contextual POV.

For a funny example; During the bit where they talk about hair, it's kickstarted by Juleka saying "you little shit-!" and then readjusting her jacket. That wasnt her actually getting her hair stuck on her zipper. That was Plagg telling her something absolutely stupid and her just happening to be caught snapping at him. But we don't know that cause she managed to swerve Alya to a different topic so quickly!

[kodokberjamur]

I want to cry because my professor told us to write a maximum of 10 pages for the article, and I have only written up until the research method, and yet, I'm already at page 9. I scrolled up and realized that I yapped too much in the introduction. The introduction does not need to be 4 pages long. So I have to cut like. Half of it. AGH.... No............... </3 WHY DO LIMITS EXIST. WAIT LOL I suddenly remembered that one scene from Mean Girls: the limit does not exist! Man, I wish that also counted for word/page limits.... Aaand now I want to rewatch it. Again. How many times have I rewatched this movie? Everything about it is just so good and it definitely deserves the hype—OKAY THAT WAS MOST DEFINITELY AN UNWANTED TANGENT. I should stop before I suddenly start yapping about Mean Girls. (already did. Kodok you actually just suck.)

Anyway, painful news aside, I decided to go and edit the fic I was working on, and—it's almost ready!!! Thank God for long weekends, am I right? AAAA I MIGHT BE ABLE TO POST IT ON MY BIRTHDAY!! I'M SO EXCITED KSJDKS ALSO I tried playing with the formatting on gdocs a bit, like the italics and stuff, and then copied and pasted everything to AO3... THE FORMATTING STAYED. IT ACTUALLY STAYED. ALL THIS TIME I COULD'VE JUST USED GDOCS INSTEAD OF MANUALLY FORMATTING EVERYTHING SHDKSJFKSJDK. WHAT. THE. FFFFFROG. I could've...... all this time, I could've just.......... why would I..... why would you......... why did I even.......... what why who where when how.

AH YES ALSO THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT I WANT TO SHOW YOU GUYS, BUT. Not now. I'm actually feeling really impatient to show you, but... it's going to have to wait </3 let's just say it involves........ something cute. The size of my palm.

Whoops. At this point it feels like I never even took that break. Well, it's not as though that break really did anything... For one, I spent the whole month writing a fic anyway, and it's not like I stopped brainrotting. In fact, it's gotten worse because I just keep missing Tr*yJ*d* more and more everyday. IF ANYTHING, I DESERVE A LONG BREAK FROM UNI. AGH. SCREW UNI. Uni has given me... back pain, eye strain, neck pain... Insanity...... Nightmares...............

Oh also my rice cooker broke... (very relevant and useful piece of information)

Okay sorry for yapping </3

[percivaljacksons]

foaming at the mouth for this ghost whisperer au just thought you should know (and thank you deeply for making two of my favorite fics ever I think about mando and fake dating au Often)

thank you so much!! and I’m so glad I’ve convinced other people to niche their way into insanity with me — fuck yeah. this is the time of year I can take vaca so I’ve been lowkey off the grid but I opened up gdocs to see if I could share a lil something something and whew baby did I headshot myself. anon I love u here is Pain:

[odericevertz]

2, 17 and 28 for the writer ask game <3

ooh!

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to?

i have a very straightforward answer for this. DEFENSELINE FIC!!!!! i feel so insane about the dynamic they have going on over there. i have a whole section in my gdocs of wilo/gabi moments in interviews that i want to build a fic off of but i feel like i just can't nail down their voices well enough to write a fic from either of their POVs. a lot of rpf for me is feeling comfy enough in their voice to write it but i don't think i have a good enough handle on how they speak to write about how they Think... if that makes sense.

(one of my fave wilo/gabi interactions is where they're arguing about who's the best dressed on the team and wilo goes yeah but you like my fashion and gabi's like eeeh sometimes. and wilo presses like so sometimes no? and gabi fake-winces at how bad it is and says no....and they kind of devolve into a laughing argument which wilo ends by saying something like yeah but i know you like that one outfit of mine. OUGH.)

17. past or present tense? why?

OKAY. even though both of my published ones have been in present tense i actually like past a lot more......i feel like there's a depth and reflection to it that lends it a lot more weight. present for me comes naturally when i'm writing shorter fic / when i want the fic to feel more stream-of-consciousness and really immersed in the character's POV. then again i love that present always feels more real to me......more (unintentional pun) present, like i can see it playing out in front of me. as you can see i'm quite indecisive which is a huge problem with my WIPs because for a single fic scenes always come to me in different tenses and i end up having to decide which one fits better.

28. any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

i am the worst person to ask this bc i genuinely don't look up writing advice....i've always believed that the best way to improve is to read more & write more. READ! both published books AND fic from authors you like. figure out what exactly you like about their writing, learn from them, try to recreate the same feeling their writing gives you. in 22/23 when i was arsenaling but unaware that there was actually a fan community i read every single one of tetrapod's arsenal fics and their style had a HUGE impact on me.....big fan also of old footie fic that's on livejournal/ported to ao3 etc because that was actually how i got into football (users saltstreets redandgold guede rave etc, basically all my ao3 bookmarks)

thank you for asking <3

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 12.3.2024

I gave up.

So, what happened was, shortly after last week's update, I had to re-direct my attentions to Getting Ready for Thanksgiving, and so I was like "yeah, this is fine, this is a good opportunity to Think About My Fanfic, and when the holiday is over, I'll have some stuff to write." Except that the more I thought about my fanfic, the more I realized that I do not love it and I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to make myself love it and I simply don't and I don't want to work on a thing I don't love. I want to love it! I love the parts that I wrote 3 years ago!

I don't remember why, but I decided I wanted to read my weird Inuzuri Teens story. In particular, I wanted to read the insane ending, which I have told myself repeatedly I need to change if I ever want to post the story. I read it and I said "this is good actually. making sense is for chumps" and decided I wanted to work on that story instead, and so that is what I have been doing.

I don't think this is actually a permanent feeling. I'm not really giving up on a little in love. I think I am just feeling very mean right now and I'm mad a lot and I don't really want to write something nice and funny. The Inuzuri story is about the dissolution of a friendship and the death of a young person and that's why I've never finished it, but I think I feel mean enough to do that right now, so that's what I'm doing with those feelings. I am constantly inventing new and innovative forms of personal self-therapy, and I feel like my old therapist who never knew what to do with me really would have loved this one.

I don't know whether or not to bother with my stupid wordcount goal anymore. Right now, it seems very made-up and stupid. Normally, I'm pretty big on giving up things once they no longer serve, but I also feel like I'm going to be mad at myself for not meeting it. ::scrolls up to look at the gif at the top of the post. scrolls back down again::

I wrote a scene this week that I have been thinking about for ages and ages and I think I like the way it came out, except for the fact that a) I will have to edit a part later on that I have always really liked and I'm kinda pissed about that, and b) it is 3100 entire words which is more than twice as long as the next longest scene in this fanfic and I'm not too happy about that. Most of the story is in these little bite-sized chunks, and they often sort of flow into each other, so maybe it's okay. I'm a little worried that the seams between the stuff I've already written and the new stuff are going to be very visible. idk

I also went through and converted the whole thing into present tense--it was in a big sloppy mishmash of past and present. Previously, I couldn't bring myself to decide which one I wanted, but go places is present tense and I want it to match go places. I also made an outline, which is how I figured out the thing above.

Oh! Also, I have been really unhappy with GoogleDocs for some time, so I decided to give ellipsus a try (I tell you, I was really going thru it this week). It's...fine? It is occasionally a teensy bit laggy, which I mostly notice when I'm doing a search (I use the search feature a lot because I have a bad tendency to get enamored of a word and then use it too much). This is a little better in Chrome than Firefox, which has changed my entire work flow, because I have Tumblr open in Firefox, and now it's "far away". This may actually be for the best. I am not sure. Ellipsus also has this "draft" system, which is pretty much like every software version control system I've ever used, so I get it, but I'm not sure it suits the way I work. Nothing about Ellipsus precludes using my old multi-document system, and maybe I'll find it useful in the future. I'm not going to complain about a feature just because I personally don't have a use for it. I had numerous beefs with GDocs, but the #1 thing was the infiltration of ai, and Ellipsus is building its brand on being anti-ai, so I'm willing to put up with a few growing pains for now and see how things go.

I'm also trying to get back into drawing a little every day (most days anyway). Mostly, I just intend to use my art club prompts (I drew a pie yesterday). I do want to draw something for Ukitake week. I'm not going to be secretive: I'm trying to come up with a cool Rukia-Ukitake idea because I feel like they got cheated so bad in terms of captain-lieutenant power posing. I've been going back and forth between Action Posing (which is hard and not my strength) or, like, modern clothes. I'll try to get that figured out this week.

[kycken]

I still need to update the ol' carrd muse list, but Cas asked me, so I do it now:

-The Heavy-Hitters: I have the strongest voice for/understanding of them thus far, doesn't matter what timeline- Izana Kurokawa Hajime Kokonoi ('Koko') Seishu Inui ('Inupi') Rindo Haitani Ken Ryuguji ('Draken'/'Kenchin') Wakasa Imaushi ('Waka') Haruchiyo Sanzu Kazushi Yamagishi ('Gang-Dex', Mizo Mid Five) [LOL, I wasn't seriously thinking of writing him, but the similarities are too funny.]

-I'm also insanely obsessed with YOU/Writing you only for ONE PERSON, but what the fuck: Still figuring them out, but I've written them/thought about them enough times, I have a better handle now- Manjiro Sano ('Mikey') Taiju Shiba Yuzuha Shiba Senju Akashi Kojiro Hishi (Letter from Baji; Yotsuya Kaidan) Kazutora Hanemiya Ryusei Sato (Letter from Baji; Toman & Yotsuya Kaidan) Keisuke Baji Yasuhiro Muto ('Mucho') Tetta Kisaki

-idek dude, I just think they're neat: I have like 3 notes in my GDocs, otherwise I'm improvising- Shuji Hanma Takemichi Hanagaki ('Takemicchy') Hakkai Shiba Choji (Valhalla) Kiyomarou Mori ('Red Scar'/'Shion, if he wasn't like totally fucking irrelevant', Letter from Baji; Yotsuya Kaidan's Commando Unit Captain) Ayumu Tobishima ('Yellow Dragonfly'/'Dollar-Store Koko'/'Koko's obnoxious second-cousin twice-removed, probs', Letter from Baji; Yotsuya Kaidan's Special Attack Captain) Soichirou Matsuno ('Blue Pine'/'Bargain-Bin Inupi'/'Inupi's hot older brother who likes JJBA way too much', Letter from Baji; Yotsuya Kaidan's Guard Captain) Ryohei Hayashi ('Peh-yan') Atsushi Sendo ('Akkun', Mizo Mid Five) Takuya Yamato (Mizo Mid Five)