#get my girl mo some therapy

[lo-om]

If you know, you know

[come-away-with-me87]

The Art of Love Chapter 7

Chapter 6 here

******

You woke up the next morning and picked up your phone; you wanted to make sure that the events of the previous evening weren't your imagination.  And they weren't.  Shouta Aizawa had asked you out on a date, and you had said yes.  You smiled to yourself; this was a nice way to start the new day.  You got out of bed, hopped into the shower, and did your daily morning routine.  That day, you opted to wear another dress since it was such a nice day out.  It was a royal blue, sleeveless, button-up asymmetrical dress that went down to your knees in the front, and down to your calves in the back.

You put on your favorite necklace with the dress; a silver chain with an opal pendant, and a pair of strappy silver sandals.  You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was that was making you want to dress differently from your standard blouse, slacks, and ballet flats outfits.  Suddenly, you just felt the desire to dress up nicer.  You put on some foundation, mascara, and your favorite lip gloss, then got into your car, and made your way to Musutafu Elementary.

You always arrived before the students so you could say hello to each of them as they came in the door, and say hello to their parents. This morning, Eri was accompanied by a different man; one you haven't met yet. He was tall, thin, and had spiked up blonde hair. Like Shouta, he wore an all black outfit, but instead of a scarf, he wore some sort of speaker around his neck. "Good morning, Miss L/N!" Eri beamed up at you. "Good morning, Eri! How was your training last night?" you asked her. She smiled even more, "good! Mr. Aizawa said I'm making a lot of progress! This is Mr. Mic!" she said, motioning up to the blonde man.

"Mornin', Miss! The name is Hizashi Yamada. Little Eri here and the rest of the students know me as Present Mic," he said with a big grin on his face. He reminded you a lot of Mirio; he had the same kind, happy aura. You couldn't help but grin back at him, "it's a pleasure to meet you, Hizashi. My name is Y/N L/N." He bowed down to you, and Eri said goodbye to him and went to her seat. "She seems to be in a very good mood this morning," you said to Hizashi. "She does, doesn't she? Eraserhead will be picking her up tonight."

Hizashi must have seen the confused look on your face, because he then said, "oh! You probably know him as Aizawa. Sorry about that, his pro-hero name is Eraserhead, the name given to him by yours truly." He had a sly grin on his face as he said this, and you couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I'm sure I'll get to know what his hero name means as I get to know him mo-" You came to a dead stop mid-sentence; Hizashi just looked at you inquisitively. "You know, as he comes in to drop off and pick up Eri." That seemed to satisfy Hizashi, as he didn't say anything else about it.

"Well Miss, it's time for me to get back to the U.A. It was a pleasure meeting ya!" You smiled over at him, "it was a pleasure meeting you, Hizashi." And with that, he walked out of the classroom. You turned back to your class and took attendance; everyone was there and accounted for. You looked over at Eri; she was talking to her classmate! She was talking to a young girl named Hana, who was taking the art therapy class as a way of coping with her parents divorce. You were very happy to finally see Eri interacting with another student. A few seconds later, the bell rang, and the two girls stopped talking and faced the front of the class.

"All right kids, the first thing we are going to make today are called emotion color wheels, which you will keep on your desk for the remainder of the school year!" You went on to explain what the emotions color wheel was to them. They were going to color in a wheel based on their emotions: green for happy, blue for sad, red for angry, orange for afraid, and yellow for surprised. You purchased the color wheels at a local art store; they each came with five sections to color in, plus a spinning wheel in the middle where they could point it to the emotion that they were feeling that day. You handed out the wheels to each of the students, and they got to coloring.

After they were finished coloring in their wheels, you asked them to point the wheel to the emotion that they were feeling that day. As you walked around the classroom, you looked at each student's wheel; every single one of them were on green for happy that day. Your heart was absolutely beaming at this. Since she seemed to be in a particularly good mood today, you called on Eri to announce to the class why she was happy that day. You expected her to be shy and perhaps not want to say anything, but to your surprise, she stood up! "I'm happy today because Mr. Aizawa was in an extra good mood yesterday, and said I am doing really good with my training!" You smiled over at her, "that's great, Eri! Would anyone else like to share why they feel happy today?" Some of the students raised their hands, and you called on them.

You felt your heart flutter for two reasons: first, because all of your students were happy that day. That made you feel like you were doing your job right, which is all you ever wanted. Second, because Eri mentioned that Shouta was in a particularly good mood yesterday. You wondered....no, hoped, that it had something to do with you saying yes to his date proposal. A gal could hope. The rest of the school day went by uneventfully when the bell finally rang. You told all of your students that they did a great job today, and that you would see them tomorrow. As usual, it was you and Eri left, and that is when Shouta walked into the classroom to pick her up.

"Hi Eri; hi Y/N," Shouta said. Eri beamed at him, as she usually did, saying, "Hi Mr. Aizawa!" You stood up and smiled over at him, trying not to look as excited as Eri was to see him. "Eri, could you give Y/N and I a moment? I promise, I won't be long," he asked her while rubbing the top of her head. It was such a sweet gesture. Eri said goodbye to you, and waited out in the hallway for Shouta. Shouta then turned to you, and said, "I'd like to officially ask you this in person. Would you like to go on a date with me on Friday evening?"

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @lili-pond ; @jaguarthecat ; @big-denki-energy ; @ivydoesit23 ; @salientseraph ; @dreamofkaty ; @simp-hub

[totallynotokguys]

Lego Monkie King Rewatch: Season 3

Episode 5

"The two of us aren't built for the action stuff, Pigsy. We're side characters at best and you know it!"

I love the way the show writers characterised the reincarnates of the pilgrims. It was like they looked at the source material through a funhouse mirror.

Tang Sanzang was a studious monk? Make Tang a nerd. Sanzang rides a horse the whole way? Give Tang weak ankles and a lazy spirit. Sanzang was always sending his disciples off to find him food? Have Tang be a freeloader at Pigsy's noodles. Sanzang doesn't even show up for the first seven chapters of his own story? Make Tang a side character.

Look how effortly happy Young Wukong is!

Young Wukong: "What? My master has amnesia? I know what to do!" *chooses violence*

Look at how easily angered Young Wukong can become!

Can we just appreciate this girls laugh? She's trying so hard to fool him. You got this queen!

Thank you Michaela Dietz for some fabulous voice acting.

Pigsy: "Finding that out took ALL NIGHT!" Young Wukong: "No, of course not. This guy's just awesome. So many great stories."

Something, something, you need to learn focus. Something, something, I'm the master of focus. Ring any bells?

Mo just go with the flow!

Anyone else find it interesting that throughout this episode the therapy cat stays on Young Wukong? No? Just me?

Look at how quick to tears Young Wukong can get!

Look, all I'm saying is the Wukong of Now does not show his emotions so easily. He keeps a cool relaxed facade, lets things come at him without changing him. The Young Wukong on the other hand is much more volatile, easily switching between strong emotions as if they are all just there bubbling at the surface.

"That's all I ever wanted. Friendship."

Girl, you are a princess in my eyes!

Wukong loving MK's art! YES!

Who here think they may have activated some mountain trauma by crushing him under a huge rock? A raise of hands? Anyone?

[kitofawriter]

So I watched the first two episodes since they’re in English now. Live reaction:

LMK Season 5 spoilers under the cut:

Fun training session! Let’s go!

Tired MK is tired. Somebody get this boy the therapy he needs!

Wukong is trying to be responsible about the monkey form at least.

“I’m compartmentalizing!” XD me too MK, me too

MAC MAC MAC!!!! Also “Bud” not in a mocking way!!!!

“This mountain’s been by home just as long as yours” I’m screaming!!!

They’re working together! (Sorta)

Wukong confirming he didn’t know about MK!

Referencing Mac’s death and resurrection!

Ominous stone crack!!

Mei!! My girl!!!

THEY BUILT HIM A NEW HOUSE!!!!

Tang continuing the tradition of shirking the hard labor. Good to see he’s still himself.

THE PICTURES!!!

The origami!!

Even Mo gets a picture!!

HUG HUG HUG!!!

MK please chill, like even 2% calmer would be a major improvement. You need to rest and get therapy.

“Sleeping with the noodles”

Dadsy give him some comfort. Also send him to therapy. Or teach him cooking.

MK backstory! Noodles! Sleepy noodles!!!! That is so cute oh my god!!

MK is a heavy boi. Also sleepy.

“I love you, son” I am not emotionally prepared for the sheer amount of MK and Pigsy fluff in the last two minutes.

Mac sleeping with the little monkeys!!! At the tree!!!

Spooky goings on. References to Monkey King getting kidnapped to the underworld perhaps??

Stop blaming the monkeys for the things they’ve been trying to stop please. That’d be great. MK needs a nap. You could’ve waited for him to sleep.

Wukong throwing shade about the underworld situation. You tell ‘em!

Smug smile. Good monkey.

Mac canonically appears in the Monkey King Ace Attorney TV show? What?

Fillet?? Fillet??? Nezha?!? “Nezhie”?!??!?

Li Jing, hey, can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you. Maybe take some parenting classes and then we’ll talk.

Mac trying to stop the fillet!!!

MK losing it a bit at that, love the concern for Wukong! They is a family!!!

Also Nezha trying to plea for them!

Underworld jail.

Grumpy Wukong and mopey Mac, I can just feel all the angst fics being written.

MK is trying so hard to free his mentor!

“It’s tense in here.” Gee I wonder why.

Secret plan with the fur? Secret plan with the fur? The nods?!

(I think I should interject here to point out, I rarely watch things without also doing something else to distract my hands, and yet my crochet has been forgotten because I’m having so many thoughts!)

Nezha providing exposition

Tang!Wukong, glasses is a must

Painted art style my beloved it’s good to see your return!

“My father is not the enemy” I mean he’s not exactly a pillar of goodness either my dude.

“I’m a clone”

Okay the running animation bit was actually pretty nice, love the movement. I like how they’re really trying to keep close to the original style of animation even though they’re working with a totally different tool set.

Mac, are you…are you Naruto running?

Wukong keeps doing the cutest smiles. I’m gonna have to go back through and grab some many screenshots.

Wukong and Mac just…knowing exactly how to fight together with no communication when they’re actually both on the same side.

Sandy got a new truck…

…And it’s gone, poor guy

MK worried that they’re just the harbingers of chaos when they have directly caused so few of the problems they’ve faced. Like, I get it, but maybe have some perspective. You know what would help with that? Therapy.

Just don’t explain anything. It’s fine. They’ll figure it out.

MK building powers!!

Fillet use!! Mac stepping in!! Mac sacrificing himself?!?!? Oh the angst fics will be legendary!!

“He always gets away, right?” Followed by sad face?!? OH THE ANGST FICS WILL BE LEGENDARY!!!

Monkey in pagoda. This feels familiar.

I’m sensing a later “boiling rock” style episode. Or else they all get trapped in there and have to bust out (Nezha helping them escape possibly?)

That was so good! I can’t wait for the actual proper release for better audio quality and more importantly MORE EPISODES!!

[onegianthotmess]

Random Facts About Some of My TWST OCs

Celena is half beastman, but somehow didn’t get ears and a tail despite having many behavioral and a few physical traits of Dalmatians (clawed fingernails, fangs/sharp canines, spots/tear marks on her cheeks, energetic, keen sense of smell, yips/barks when excited or when she senses danger—just naming a bit of a list here)

Mealodie and Malleus were actually born as eggs at the same time, technically making them twins, but she took thirteen extra years to hatch from her egg

Miranda had a really hard time making friends as a child due to her family curse, so Vil was really the only friend she had until she started to learn to stop herself from blurting out her thoughts

Morel loves blood oranges so much that she has two of her own trees that grow blood oranges and she takes very good care of them

Lucienne can talk to plants and will have full on conversations with them without noticing the weird looks people give him

Yvette’s birth/given/dead name is Yaakov

Miranda’s hair is short because she tried cutting it herself when she was a kid, but fucked up and Vil had to cut it for her to fix it, so now she just has Vil do her hair and thinks he’d make a great hairdresser if he wasn’t already an actor/model

Celena is actually very fast and stronger than people think she is, despite her small size and she actually beat Jack in an arm wrestle and goes to the gym with both him and Vil

Morel can fluently speak German

Rayne is fluent in Dutch and Italian and only flirts with Jade in either of these languages purely because she’s too shy to flirt with him in English because then everyone else would be able to understand her (Jade doesn’t know what she’s saying either, but he knows she’s flirting with him and loves it)

Mealodie sometimes can’t sleep even though she wants to, so she will go to Lilia and ask him to read her a bedtime story like he did when she and her brother were young

Yvette has videos of Morel pole dancing while drunk and uses them as leverage to get Leona to do something whenever Morel isn’t around because she knows they have a thing for each other (And before anyone thinks that this means Leona pleasures himself while watching the videos, know that that is incorrect and he admires just how beautiful Morel is and is impressed because pole dancing requires stamina, strength, and a lot of training because of how difficult it is. Leona is a respectful boy who is constantly drunk on his respect woman juice)

Mealodie once shattered all of the windows and glass objects in Diasomnia because she got so lost in song while singing one day

Miranda will pick outfits for and do Vil’s makeup for him if he’s really nervous about an audition or performance coming up and will give him a kiss on the tips of his fingers on his left hand for good luck

Morel had a relationship in her second year of school at NRC and it lasted until she finally broke at the beginning of her third year because her then girlfriend was manipulative, emotionally abusive like her mother, and a cheater; this relationship made Morel a bit jaded when it came to love and have trust issues later on and it even negatively affected her relationship with Leona when he started openly, yet subtly, showing his interest for her

Celena never actually had any romantic relationship before she began dating Deuce; despite this fact, she had a rumored reputation of having several secret partners and this went so far that some guys and girls said that they actually dated her before, but Celena quickly disproved each of these false claims despite never completely shaking the rumors of having relationships before Deuce

Rayne has a subconscious fear of vases due to the fact that her mother smashed one over her face, almost completely blinding her left eye, when she was seven and Rayne only started going to therapy for this fear after she had a mental breakdown from seeing Floyd and Jade carrying vases to be set on the tables in the Monstro Lounge

Miranda always accompanies Vil to his performances and photoshoots because she wants to support him and his craft he’s so dedicated to and they get away with this due to the cover story of Miranda being a good friend who helps Vil out so they can keep their relationship (and the fact that Vil sees Miranda as a very loving and endearing good luck charm) secret from the public due to Vil’s massive fame

Mealodie actually has a cute little kitten sneeze and it’s even cuter because she blows a little smoke out whenever she sneezes, causing a cycle of two to three, sometimes four, kitten sneezes in quick succession due to the smoke tickling her nose

Lucienne heals up pretty fast from any injury thanks to his healing abilities, but he somehow stays sick for days on end on the rare occasion he does get sick and it baffles even his family

Yvette has made sleeping potions and slipped them in Crowley’s drinks a few times just so she could work in peace without having a giant mess to clean up afterwards

Celena found an old picture of Deuce with his bleached hair in his dorm once and she couldn’t stop laughing at it because full blonde hair was definitely NOT a good look for Deuce and now she uses it as ammo for arguments about outfits and hairstyles with him

Mealodie knows several old languages that aren’t spoken or widely known anymore, but she and Malleus speak in them whenever they want to talk about something private around other people and everyone is confused about it

When they were young, Morel would often put noise canceling headphones on Riddle and Rayne so they could sleep while their parents argued at night and Morel always covered her ears and tried not to sob whenever her parents had these fights because most of them were about Morel due to her having mandated visitations with her father every weekend because of her parents’ separation (though they’re still married for whatever reason-)

Lucienne can actually make flowers and trees and other plants grow and control them just fine without magic and when he’s asked about it, he simply replies “It’s just something that I do .”

Miranda was actually almost placed into Scarabia due to her gift of fortune telling and the Dark Mirror had to think for a moment before deciding to put her in Pomefiore due to her talents in potion making, value of appearance, and her love for Vil

Celena gets mad whenever anyone teases her about her body because, in her words, she is “fucking built like a stupid cereal box” and she hates it (her build is like a very petite hourglass, there’s some curve and a little boob, but not a lot)

Yvette fluently speaks Russian and Spanish and calls her father “Папа” (Papa) and her mother “Mami”

Mealodie always let Silver play with her hair when he was little and now she asks him to do it for her since he’s really good at it

Miranda can travel through almost any kind of mirror thanks to her family’s connection to the Dark Mirror and mirror magic in general and she accidentally jump scares everyone (except for Vil since he’s used to it) whenever she pops up after traveling through a mirror and into the room

[marvinsmeadow]

Ok so i just finished season 2 of Black Monday and i have some thoughts. Also, please tell me where to watch season 3. I cannot find it :(

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

- Omfg Blair?? The shit w his dad?? That was crazy!! Very dark for this show, but my god the cinematography of that scene?? It was so perfectly uncomfortable, I had to tell my bf to “wait on watching it” bc i NEEDED to see his reaction

- i developed a fictive of blair so that kind of said a lot about me. It’s j the queerness, the daddy issues, the forced conformity (i mean i don’t conform anymore, but i used to)

- poor baby blair (what an asshole, if literally anyone else was fronting, they’d be happy for him)

- DAWN MY BBG FINALLY GETTING HER RECOGNITION!!!!

- Dawn is literally SUCH a good representation of women in the work force, and while watching this w my mom, she said that Dawn is also an accurate representation of women in life!

- Dawn is literally perfect and can do no wrong

- Is it just me that feels like they’re setting up a really flawed and messed up romance w Keith and Larry? Like Keith is gonna start to love Larry but Larry will see Keith as Lenny

- ALSO OMFG DID NOT EXPECT THAT WITH LENNY!! LARRY WAS A STONE COLD BITCH AND LENNY WAS HORRIBLE BUT OMFG LARRY!!

- Mo’s character development? Great beautiful fantastic. He’s improved. He’s gone through ups and downs. He’s trying to be better. I still hate him as a character though

- The whole Cayman Islands and Connie thing?? Fucking A brother, that was amazing

- MY POOR CONGRESSMAN ROGER!! Blair was fronting while I watched that and I was not doing well.

- Newell Swafford can go die. I literally hate him sm.

- Tiff needs some therapy, the poor baby. I don’t think she’s ever been in therapy, not after being kidnapped, not after finding out it was her parents, not after the “Blair Pfaff and Roger Harris scandal”. This poor girl

- I was sensing some lesbian vibes between Corkie and Tiff

I hope these two text messages (one from my bf, one to my bf) summarize my experience watching this show last night:

[via-the-ghoul]

Anyways here’s some concepts for how some currently not in Gen3 characters could fit into the universe

(Mattel hire me I’ll clean up these ideas and make you so much money)

Clawdia Wolf

Howleen’s older sister, poem writer, and Nefera’s best friend. She was with Nefera on the trip to Scaris, but didn’t come back with her when she left early. When she comes back she’s mad at Nefera for leaving early just so she could be in a play, and Nefera has to make it up to her. In a different episode Howleen tries to get her to join the wolf pack because she’s older than Barkimedes and Romulus and therefore Howleen can loophole that so Clawdia is the new leader so that Clawdia will then put Howleen in charge because she doesn’t think she’s qualified to lead and Clawdia’s like “hey sis I don’t think this people are very good friends I think you should leave” and Howleen’s like “No I can’t leave I need to be the coolest werewolf in school!” This idea’s kinda messy but

Jinafire Long

Skelita’s long distance girlfriend from China (since we know Skelita’s coming back). Controls water now and can turn into a more traditional dragon. Ran into Watzie at the dragon migration and they hit it off so Jinafire spent the rest of the first season trying to figure out where this random hybrid was from, and then discovered he’s at the same school as Skelita. She already wanted to go there (even though her dad disagreed since he wasn’t comfortable with his daughter moving so far away) but this managed to convince him somehow or maybe she went without his permission because like now both her friend and her girlfriend are there that’s so many people she likes this beats homeschooling a whole bunch like

Slo Mo

A very fancy descended from the Great William Spookspeare. He’s like wearing renaissance clothes and he has a British accent but it’s way better than Torelei’s. He’s very nice actually but poor Ghoulia’s like “oh no he’s gonna judge me for my skater girl vibe” meanwhile Slo Mo’s like “oh no what if everyone judges me for wearing renaissance clothing on the first day of school fuck fuck fuck” and then they find out about this and bond. Over that. Like they both tell each other they thought the other one was way cooler and that they were gonna judge them and oh no I accidentally gave them way too much chemistry oh fuck I just wanted them to be friends this time

River Styxx

The campiest, most dramatic, actually-has-a-scythe now reaper ever. Her and Heath were like childhood beasties back in the underworld but they had a falling out because Heath went to therapy while River got worse. And then River transferres to Monster High because she got kicked out of Reaper Academy for some kind of crime that’s never elaborated on other than a shot of River smiling while flashback noises of people screaming can be heard and also Spectra’s genuinely afraid of her but she only really threatens people she doesn’t like kill anyone she’s just really intense. She’s trying to make Heath worse. Heath is trying to make her better and she is objectively like less evil by the end of her debut episode but she’s still a camp goddess. Her voice actress is having the time of her fucking life.

[goshdangronpa]

This, to me, is tsumioda

Mikan rarely raises her voice. Even when she's shouting in alarm or desperately apologizing, she rarely goes above a squeak. She could use some training in picking up the volume, and who better to help with that than the naturally loud Ibuki?

At least, that's what she says this is about when Mikan asks. As is her MO (ie. all the silly activities she does with Hajime to jog his memory), she has a secret altruistic purpose here. All this encouragement to yell her heart out is for (not professionally accredited) primal scream therapy, like John Lennon and Yoko Ono would do.

Think back to the moment in SDR2 Ch 3 when the cover-up falls apart and Mikan cracks. She had a lot to get out of her system! Maybe she could've vented all that BEFORE getting all homicidal ... Now think back to a less notable moment from the first trial. Hiyoko tries Ibuki’s whole life in front of all their peers, and what's her response? Something like "Gyaha! You've pierced me with your arrows of truth!" She can take an insult, especially, I reckon, if the person saying it really believes it.

Mikan has plenty of reasons to stay as silent as possible. Speaking up brings attention to herself, often the undesirable kind. It also risks setting off bullies and abusive types. But here's one she may not even know about: if she loses control of her voice, she may lose control of her speech. All the nasty thoughts and bitter remarks and cutting insults that she holds back for fear of causing offense could come flooding out ...

And who better to take that torrent head-on than Ibuki? A girl who prizes realness, who cuts through the noise and seeks the person making it, who understands the cathartic value of a good scream? Where others might leave thinking less of Mikan, this girl's more likely to leave thinking it's what her (girl)friend needed and content herself with that.

Scream at me until my ears bleed

I'm takin' heed just for you

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello hello,

sorry bc this is a bit long and I got a bit carried away

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not] went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong. I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk] and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents] and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out…

also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself

so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok

Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what?

again sorry this is way too long

Hi love! First of all, I wanna give a TW to people reading:

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Okay, I'm gonna take this one section at a time:

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not]

Okay chances are you're not making it up. Thinking you're making it up is a super common symptom of guilt trips and gaslighting. If you think it happened...it probably did.

went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong.

This is NOT okay of them. They're being disrespectful.

I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk]

Uhm hi hello hi. NO. No no no. This is NOT okay. Parents do NOT tell their children about their suicidal feelings. Absolutely not. This is a classic example of parentification. You, even as a teenager, are the CHILD. You are NOT responsible for your parents, and you should not feel any sort of pressure to help with their wellbeing. Nope.

and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing

yup. parentification. You've been expected to take on the role of a parent when convenient and act like a child when convenient. this is not okay and you're absolutely right to feel weird and bad and resentful about it.

because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents]

And here's the thing: that can also be true. A lot of times, parents can both love you/be good people AND unintentionally be hurtful. But in a way, that can be even more difficult because like...how do you explain to someone who thinks they're not being hurtful that they ARE?

and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out… also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

This is what I'm saying: it's super difficult to convince someone they're being hurtful when they truly think they aren't. Trust me, my mother is the same way. But you aren't wrong for wanting to distance yourself. Also, don't compare yourself to other people. You have a DIFFERENT home life, not necessarily a better or worse one.

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what? again sorry this is way too long

Don't be sorry! I guess the first thing I'd say is, all of your feelings are valid, and this sounds super difficult. I'm sorry you have to go through it <3. Here's the thing: You are right. There are some things going on in your house that aren't okay. But the reality is, your mom doesn't seem to be willing to hear your opinion about changing them. SO, where do you go from here?

I think the two major things I've had to learn with my (very similar) mother is:

Set boundaries and stick to them. If she's dumping on you and you can't handle it, tell her it's not okay. Keep politely telling her this. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing this, even if she tells you otherwise.

Take what you can get, but don't get your hopes up. Does she want to take you out to lunch? Great. She wants to hang out after school? Awesome. But don't...rely on her to be more than she is.

If you're able to do these two things in a healthy way, this might be your best bet until you turn of age and you're able to reevaluate if you want a long-term relationship or not. But honestly, if you're financially dependent on her, separating from her completely might not be the best idea if you are safe.

The ONLY thing that makes me nervous about this whole situation is your mention of your mom's suicidal thoughts, so I'll leave you with this:

if your mom is scaring you with the way she is talking, call the authorities. You are a minor, and you should NEVER have to deal with that on your own.

No matter what happens, no matter WHAT your mom does, no matter what you do or don't say/do or don't do, your mother's decisions are her own. Nothing she does is your fault.

If you feel comfortable, please DM me! I'm being genuine when I say our moms sound similar, and I would love to talk more <3

P.s. I just want to say that, you are SO smart, as a teenager, to realize that this behavior is not okay. Good for you <3

[princesspastarave]

all i’m looking for (from you.)

if i have learned anything it’s that you do not need to put yourself in danger for “character development.” your life does not need to be ruined for you to grow and bleed. you can surround yourself with positive stability and still learn and feel deeper than you ever could in the familiarity of the chaos and that’s all i want you to do with me.

i am not here to hurt you but i also have bills to pay and am really fucking scared of the lengths i’ve had to go through to convince others of the safe space i can hold for them before so i do not have time to keep proving this to you. do NOT put me through your hell in attempts to get me to break myself or you “for your plot” I’M TIRED !!!!!!!

it’s easy for me to show you the past versions of myself because i want to get to know and care for as many versions of you as i can. i share my day so you’ll do the same. but it’s really hard for me to do that when you don’t give me much to work on. however i learned the lesson of if they want to go let them go YEARS ago so i promise if you can’t share any authentic space with me someone else will i don’t want you to worry about me.

if you say you need space i will do my best to give you that. i really like you which means i want you to get everything you’ve ever wanted but i’ve been in therapy since i was 15 years old and i work really hard physically/financially/mentally every day to pick up the mess i was trapped in for years.

if you want a crazy girl to hurt you or chase after you or a forever thing or some casual body i’m gonna say go get it !! they’re out there and i promise you you’ll find whatever you need

i’m rooting for you because before you are who i think you are you are or who i think you could be you’re who i know you are which is my friend and as your friend i’m here to support you at whatever stage you’re in :>

i don’t think anyone is ever asking too much i think they always ask the wrong people

an alcoholic of many years asking a fresh 20 year old who just had her first glass of wine to essentially be a sponsor / lifeline.

a no feelings idgaf type asking a raised-catholic only child diagnosed with giving af disorder to be a casual one of the girlies.

a bare minimum bummer asking a post on a platform watch us grow and make silly fancams / date vlogs for us to be hidden away on their rebound like a shameful little secret.

a jaded soul on their last love ready to settle down asking to build a forever life with a girl who moves wherever she finds love.

whoever you are wherever you go i’m always gonna think you are deserving of everything you ask for. but i’m not who you think you are or what i know i look like so if i don’t live up to your ideal i’m gonna let you go.

right now i’m in a place where i can always be a friend and a silly girl in your phone. i would love to “complete my rep era” as it were but being perceived in real life and as a physical present human being takes a lot out of me and i don’t know how to make it not but i really like you so i’m figuring it out i promise !

i like you so bad but i’m really scared and you can put two and two together don’t make me say why i have issues about my body being perceived and people raising their voice at me and being seen in real life out loud ok you are a big boy you are very smart and intuitive and have pisces placements like me you should know :(

please don’t take my silences or shaking or outbursts too personally i promise it’s not your fault and i’m always doing everything i can to stop it !!!!!

i want to let myself be okay. and i want you to feel with me at the end of the day. it can be anything. whether it’s anger or hurt or hope or love or loneliness, through the screen or in real life. it can be yours or mine or the story we make together. as safely as it is for both of us. if you let me i want to be right there for you and heal and feel and sit with whatever you think you’re going through alone. because i’m not allowed to ask for more. i learned the hard way if they want to go let them go. so if you want to go i’ll let you go. and should our time ever come to a halt i want us both to be safe and happy and healthy all the way through.

and that’s all i’m ever looking for from you.

[2braincellslz]

I have a Steve Harrington x FEM!reader request

Established relationship

Steve and reader have always been the kids babysitters, they have always been roped into keeping the shit heads from getting killed

How about Steve *finally* getting comfort for his fucking anxiety, there is no way you can save the world numerous times and not have any, I have it from getting out of bed in the morning, like c'mon duffers

Steve deserves comfort, like the amount of anxiety and PTSD he would have, my dude literally has been almost killed at least a hundred times

steve on a bad anxiety day where he just wants to stay in bed all day.

Steve having an anxiety attack because he swears that bird that flew by looked just like a demo-bat

Steve not sleeping at night because he is scared that something will happen

Steve being the little spoon and letting reader take care of him

Love of my life

It have been about a year since the kids of Hawkens saved the world for the last time but it felt like just yesterday.

Many of the kids cuped with the trauma in their own ways. Eleven started working hard on getting in to a good collage and making a name for herself. Max and Lucas were planning collage as well. Dustin started going to therapy. Eddie had moved out and was going on tour with his band. Will and Mike were discovering themselves, currently out on a camping trip. Nancy had started up her own newspaper and magazine company. Jonathan was doing god knows what. But they all had one thing in common, they were all trying to forget.

Sure, there were things that were impossible to forget like the lessons they lerned about themselves and others but forgetting about the near death situation was appealing.

Everyone was seeming to have some success (with the exception of Dustin who was actually trying to work our his problems) except for one baby sitter.

Steve found it hard to sleep most nights. Scratch that, every night. Not only did he have the stress of moving out and going to collage late but the night terrors still whighed heavy on his heart.

If Steve actually did get to sleep it was only a matter of time before he would shoot up, panting and sweating.

Being awake wasnt easy ethier. While most of the time Steve had a cool exterior it only took one shadow in his peripheral to send him spiraling. Though rare it did happen.

The only remedy, the only thing that could ease him, was (y/n). A girl he met through Eddie and a girl that helped him save the world. Just like Murray said, Trama brings people togather. It was only a matter of time before their hearts were linked.

While (y/n) did suffer some of the effects of the upside down, she didnt see half of what Steve did.

With times getting tougher for everyone and the stress weighing down on Steve to be the shoulder to cry on for the kids, Steve tended to bottled up more and more. But who was he shoulder? Who could he cry and vent to?

The answer came one night after a particularly dreaded nightmare. Blinded by anxiety, Steve dialed the first number he could think of.

"Hello...?" Steve's girlfriend of a few months picked up, clearly groggy.

"Come over..." Steve's voice was shakey, almost as if a strong breeze would break him.

"I'll be right over."

And right over she was. Thank god there were mo cops in her path because she would have definitely picked up a speeding ticket or two.

By the time (y/n) had made it in to the house, Steve was already sitting in the couch, more or less in the fetal position.

"Oh Darling." (Y/n) cooed, dropping her bag and comeing and sitting next to steve.

She quickly pulled Steve closer to her, humming softly.

"Nightmare?" She asked, rubbing circles in to Steve's back.

This wasnt the first time Steve called (y/n) over because of a nightmare and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

The pair talked for a while, (y/n) would comfort steve while he just hummed in approval. Slowly but surely, (y/n) was able to coax Steve down, wrapping him in a blanket of safety.

(Y/n) led Steve up to his room, layed him down, and tucked him in nice and tight the way her dad taught her.

"Do you want anything?" (Y/n) asked from her spot and the end of the bed. "Before I go sleep on the couch?"

"There tea." Steve said, his voice waved slightly but it wasnt shaking anymore. "Sleepy time tea. If it isnt too much..."

(Y/n) smiled, standing up and patting Steve's leg. "I'll be right back."

(Y/n) made her way downstairs, quickly swinging in to the kitchen. She poured some water in to a mug and popped in in the microwave. Then she pulled out the tea packets.

Just as she was about to put the tea packet in to the water, there was a loud crash followed by a quick scream.

(Y/n) booked it up the stairs, even skipping over a few steps. 

"What? What happend?" (Y/n) asked, huffing from running so fast.

Steve was pressed up against the head board of his bed, completely frozen with fear. 

"I thought i... " Steve's voice was horse and strained. Steve let himself relax slightly, eyes fixed on the window.

(Y/n) looked to the far window, stepping closer to it. Noting was out of the ordinary, just a bird sitting on the ledge.

"I thought there was a Demo-bat..." Steve admitted.

"Its just a bird, dearest." (Y/n) hummed, sitting in the bed with her arms out wide for Steve.

Steve shuffled his way closer, burying his face deep into the crook of (y/n)'s neck. (Y/n) hummed a soft song, slowly rocking Steve like you would a young child. Usually, Steve would reject this kind of treatment but right now, he knew he needed it.

(Y/n) knew a song that would always rock Steve right ti sleep.

"Love of my life, you've hurt me. You've broken my heart and now you leave me. Love of my life, cant you see...?"

And just like that, steve was out. Being held in the warmth and safety of his girlfriend.

[pinkscerry]

What's up homies!!!? How's college life? Kaya paba? Kung kaya nira, kung kaya ko, kaya mo liwat!.

This activity indeed open an opportunity for me to introduce myself because for some reason I felt that am left behind, being an irreg student sucks huhu.

To begin with, let me acquaint all of you. Hi! I am 𝐂𝐲𝐫𝐚 but you can call me 𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒔𝒂𝒚, 21 years stunner. A 4th yr student taking up Bachelor of Arts in Communication under the advisory class of ma'am Chelo aka master Jopay. A senior student who looks like a freshman or sophomore because of my height, cute size though, lol.

Story Time ✓

Dyk? of course you don't HAHAHA kidding aside. Being a BACOM student wasn't in my plan at the first place. My childhood dream is to be become an educator, and yes I pursue it but in just a span of 2 s.y (1st-2nd yr) because of some horrific reason I shifted course/program. Almighty God has changed my path, he brought me into BACommunity and I believe that this is the right way for me to achieve success. Even though I didn't get the course I wanted, I'm happy with what I'm taking now. I already love my course, I'm embracing it's essence and the people involve.

Here's the uninterested things about me;

✓ I do love cooking, I can cook, just drop what dishes you want I'ma cook it for you, keme HAHAHA

✓ Loves to read books, acads/wattpad related.

✓ Music is my therapy, and also I'm a huge fan of Taylor #swiftie

✓ I am fascinated and mesmerized by the sight of sunset. Sunset always reminds me that an ending can be beautiful too.

✓ I'm a moonchild, l like moon so much. It's my therapy too, if I'm going to be baptized again I'm beyond grateful to choose Luna as my name.

✓ Family oriented and tatay's girl ♥️ I can conquer everything just for them. They're my inspiration, weakness and strength.

✓ Hobby? if eating is a hobby then I'll count it on HAHA ems, the truth is I'm into poems, I do write too (kapag may motivation). I have some works on my journal skl. I do write story too, in my watty account though I feel it like a 'basura' and conyo.

All about my hometown

This photo is the animated version of St. James the Greater Parish church. (ctto)

Taft is one of the ancient pueblos in Samar situated in the Eastern coast which was called Tubabao or Tubabaw in early times. This town was originally named after the river called Malinaw, but since the river causes heavy floods during rainy season, people began calling the place Tubig, which means water in Waray-Waray. Taft has 24 barangays

  #BungtohanTubig

Have you heard about Dangkalan Pacific Beach Resort of Taft? if you haven't then take a look on how beautiful the scenery was. Way back in highschool life of mine, me together with my circle of friends used to go in here. We didn't pay for the entrance because we went through the back, by the sea HAHAHA this resort definitely go beyond your expectations, perfectly beautiful (sayang diko na ma post yung pictures, max of 10 pics lang pala dito).

Also, Taft has a hydropower plant energy. The project uses of the running water in Taft-Tubig river to secure affordable power in the Samar-Leyte area. It consists of three units with 5.9 MW each.

“Hydro projects are challenging to build but despite the pandemic [the company] did it in record time of less than two years,” Taft Hydro Energy President Benjie Q. Picardo said in a statement.

And now, I'm loud and proud to shared the barangay that I love despite of having a lot of marites, this is the place where I born, grow up and reside, Brgy. Mabuhay, Taft, E. Samar (insert mini miss u music)

Not to brag but my great grandfather was the first barangay captain. He also donated land to build a school, so our barangay had an elementary school.

#MabuhayElementarySchool

So, this is my first entry. Thank you so much for lending your precious time reading and taking a look at my blog, Mabuhay ka hangga't gusto mo. Smile sweetie, it suits you. Khob khun Kha!!!

[riverofrainbows]

I'm almost done with season 1 of Hannibal, and i guess spoiler warning because i will mention some theories about the plot i have and other plot bits below.

But first: Elana (?) is the only one with a working braincell out of the main cast. She gave herself advice and then acted on it. Incredible. Hannibal on the other hand thinks entirely with his cock, man would do anything for Will, he is down bad. Not even strictly sexually, but he is obsessed with that man. When he stuck his hands in that one poor guys kidney to stop the bleeding, and looked over to make sure Will saw. And oh Will looked. He thought that was so sexy.

Btw my theory is that Hannibal disguises his crimes as the work of other serial killers. Like that he is the chessapeak ripper, but the chessapeak ripper is also a 100% made up guy in his brain who's methodology and stuff Hannibal cooked up and hides his organs in. And he is probably other guys too. Like the one dude Will mentioned in the first episode about that elusive serial killer that always changes his mo. Thats him too.

Btw for as much as they mention professional behaviour and boundaries in the show, that is the most unprofessional behaviour i have ever seen. Like measured against generally sensible real life situations and not like. superheroes and vigilantes. They keep bringing their pet psychiatrist on the field. Hannibal and Will don't even have an official patient relationship, so what is he even doing with him, and that gets especially baffling seeing as Jack basically hired Hanni as an official job psychiatric overview. That also makes it especially unprofessional of Will to keep telling Hanni the fresh details of their cases, with no legal framework whatsoever. Unless Jack secretly signed legal framework with him and Hannibal just keeps telling Will they're just chatting for funsies or something. Which would be unprofessional on the therapy level again. The whole thing they got going on with the girl from episode one was out of pocket and wildly unprofessional anyways. Peaking with Hannibal drugging her to work on her trauma without a solid patient relationship with her or offering any coping mechanisms for the results. What are you doing dude. Also something i found very funny was Hanni giving analysis on what i suspect are his own murders to Will. Sbdjdj let him know about the organ detail, tell your crush that they specifically didn't deserve their organs, you go my guy. That was hilarious.

Honourable mentions: Jacks wife is also on firefly!!! I love her so much. And Hannibals psychiatrist is Gillian Anderson?!?! I love hearing her voice.

[punkscowardschampions]

Tancy pt.2

Teddy: Was [the alcohol] your only offering?

Nancy: [take a minute here to respond because you know, hot tub, but you’ll still end up on your phone because you’re bored and you’re probably planning to take blackmail photos of people as is your MO]

Nancy: Wow, you ungrateful bitch!

Nancy: but no, as it happens

Teddy: What else did you bring me?

Nancy: I’m going to have to order you a doll now

Nancy: now I know

Teddy: I have one, she’s under my bed, naturally

Teddy: [send her a link to whatever sex doll you may or may not be joking you have]

Nancy: well I fear she may be liberated before the night is through

Nancy: 💔

Teddy: The end of an era

Nancy: You’ll make me cry, this [whatever drug it is you’re claiming, you may be chatting shit] is extra weepy

Teddy: I don’t recommend [whatever he’s waiting to kick in] as a suitable alternative, it’ll be my next birthday by the time I feel anything

Nancy: You still have [the drugs he asked for]

Teddy: True, but I don’t have you

Nancy: You’ll come up, darling

Teddy: The roof is as high as it gets, unfortunately

Nancy: No stars in London

Teddy: I’ll spend the summer in [somewhere I won’t commit myself to, but where he could see stars obvs]

Nancy: Where are you really going?

Teddy: My father’s non home offices, if he gets his way

Nancy: ALL summer? Has he lost his mind too?

Teddy: Practically, I’m sure I could beg for a measly week joining the family in [wherever they have a holiday home] but as you know, I don’t do that

Nancy: Hm, how ghastly

Nancy: I’ll be [wherever the fam is going] unless I get a better offer before then

Teddy: [recommend some y’all fun things for her to do if she ends up in said place, whether that’s word of mouth goss from people or you’ve been]

Nancy: You’re such a sweetie

Teddy: It’s nothing if not on theme 🧁🍰🎂

Nancy: Are you happy with how the party turned out?

Teddy: [send her the dad blackmail nudes as a yes so you don’t have to give a real answer]

Nancy: That makes me feel terrible about myself, ugh

Teddy: Don’t be absurd 

Nancy: How did your sister do it, did she have an ED?

Teddy: I assume so, she’s the most type A person I’ve ever met

Nancy: Diet coke and vodka only for me from now on

Nancy: no [whatever drink you got him and he compared you to]

Teddy: You don’t want any more cake? How sad, we’re yet to do candles

Nancy: It’s very sad being a girl

Teddy: Chlo accused me of being one, it was rather amusing

Teddy: [send her that bit of convo]

Nancy: Ha

Nancy: so devastated I can’t confirm it myself

Teddy: Imagine her as a mother to a son, my poor children are going to require such intensive therapy

Nancy: You’ll meanwhile be thrilled to have someone more fucked up than you 

Teddy: Excuse you, I’m the well-adjusted child, no rehab or incest fantasies to my name

Nancy: Not yet and lies

Teddy: Your jealousy will turn you uglier than cake, darling

Nancy: You can be a delusional twink for a few more years, live it up

Teddy: How generous, thank you, Nance

Teddy: your blessing, of course, means the world to me

Nancy: Shut up, you’re an idiot

Teddy: Your blood sugar is low, you’re talking nonsense

Nancy: There’s nothing adjusted about you

Teddy: Put your corset back on, I prefer you deprived of oxygen

Nancy: You prefer [this gay boy] on his knees, everyone knows, sweetie

Teddy: Oh now I understand, you’re sulking

Nancy: soaking, thank you

Teddy: No need to thank me, though yes, you were

Nancy: [send a picture of this hot tub which is probably a health hazard full of bodies at this point like no silly]

Teddy: You’re very red, you may want to get out

Nancy: Don’t neg me

Teddy: You are, I’m merely pointing out what everyone else can see

Nancy: If Chlo wants a solid cover, she can say you invited her over for a dip

Nancy: is that true, do you think?

Teddy: I don’t tend to consider what she wants

Nancy: You’re selfish, I know

Teddy: Too many eyes on you are making you paranoid

Nancy: No, I love it

Teddy: I’ll leave you to your adoring public then

Nancy: says you, Mr let the street see

Teddy: You’re welcome, by the way

Nancy: Don’t act like that had anything to do with me

Teddy: The act had everything to do with you

Nancy: He has a dick

Teddy: Which was irrelevant, he didn’t put it anywhere

Nancy: That’s still awful and insulting of you to say

Teddy: It isn’t Chlo who desires a solid cover, I gave you one

Nancy: I’m perfectly capable of creating my own and did but sure

Nancy: Thanks a lot, Teddy

Teddy: In which case, you’ve got 0 business being upset with me

Nancy: Your ego said I was upset, so you started calling me ugly

Teddy: I would never call you ugly

Nancy: I don’t care who you fuck, Chlo, [this boy], anyone

Teddy: Okay, good, that spares us an awkward & tedious conversation

Teddy: the likes of which I already had with my bride before she fled

Nancy: That’s entirely her fault for thinking you’re good enough to be a boyfriend

Teddy: For the record, I could care less who you fuck either, unless you persist on your fool’s errand to turn my brother into your next boyfriend

Nancy: Good, even that is none of your concern

Teddy: I have 0 cause for concern, he doesn’t want you

Nancy: Not right now

Teddy: Not ever, apparently

Nancy: I imagine he’ll feel a little different when my parents are looking to press charges and your family implodes from your little scheme

Teddy: About Ava perhaps, he doesn’t feel anything for you beyond his sobriety crusade

Nancy: Ava will be far away finishing her A-levels in some girl’s boarding school for her own safety

Teddy: She’ll be finishing them at the school he knows well, your parents couldn’t get your brother off your cousin, I highly doubt they’ll step up to save her

Nancy: She’s the favourite, as well as the actually well-adjusted child, don’t underestimate how preferential her treatment is

Teddy: The point is, your parents won’t even view what she’s doing as a fall from grace, J isn’t a blood relation, she’s doing fantastic for herself

Nancy: How little you know

Teddy: How little I care for your family squabbles

Nancy: How little I care what you think, I’ll continue to do what I like

Teddy: As you should

Nancy: So we’re done here then

Teddy: If you like

Nancy: Why would I want to stay

Teddy: Countless reasons, a hot tub full, it would appear

Nancy: I have to get out, I’m so red and disgusting

Teddy: I said red

Nancy: and I know what you meant

Teddy: Where’s the fun in passing out without me? None of them will take care of you

Nancy: You slapped me

Teddy: I remember

Nancy: [a person, god knows who] had to be pulled out ages ago

Teddy: I’ll come down there and pull you out in a moment if I have to

Nancy: Don’t you dare touch me

Teddy: Everyone will talk & you’ll be REALLY upset

Nancy: [a dramatic and wobbly POV of you getting out of this hot tub like THERE]

Teddy: Good girl

Nancy: You expect me to just melt, don’t you

Teddy: Not now you’re out of the hot tub

Nancy: Not the dad jokes

Teddy: Ha ha

Nancy: it’s a good thing you’re pretty

Teddy: [ignoring her, posting that he’s finally gone to the present table and is bothering to open these, doing it like this to shame anyone who didn’t serve & even worse the people who didn’t bring anything at all because everyone can see what he got]

Nancy: [very French king of you, at least we can watch this and be nosey, as is our love, just reacting according with the emojis when we approve or disapprove]

Teddy: The existence of yours was a lie, they aren’t here

Nancy: Only the bottle, which I told you, was gonna be long gone

Nancy: like I’m going to be caught giving you anything more

Teddy: You told me you did

Nancy: Are you asking for your other presents now?

Teddy: Are they real or imaginary? 

Nancy: Why would I lie, that would be so strange

Teddy: Why would you hide them from me? 

Nancy: To keep them safe, silly boy

Teddy: Where?

Nancy: My bag

Teddy: & which one is yours?

Nancy: I have it

Nancy: you’ll have to decide to start being nice again if you want it

Teddy: [not you just looking everywhere for her instead and when you find her, wherever she may be, holding your hands out like an expectant child]

Nancy: [pulling a face at him like ew, stop that and holding your bag to you tight like he is a mugger]

Teddy: [never have the words ‘hand it over’ been SO charged with tension, excuse him everybody]

Nancy: [this is giving roleplay right now lmao, like okay performance, also there’s no privacy in the basement where you probably still were it’s just one room with a bathroom or the sauna and you can’t be pulling him into either without looking a type of way, so pushing to make room on this sofa next to you so you’re at least not causing a complete scene on this day ‘sit down’ with the same drama]

Teddy: [‘no’ as petulantly as she was being earlier, because we genuinely don’t want to be in the basement, the scene of her crimes lol, we just want our gifts ‘just give them to me’]

Nancy: [getting up so offended like how dare you reject my offer and also be so rude about this ‘why the fuck should I?’ with a laugh of disbelief]

Teddy: [‘Because you don’t want me to hurt you, you’re SUCH a baby about it’ not you referring to earlier in front of people, oooh]

Nancy: [at least you can, however predictably, return the favour and slap him before using the basement’s front door and getting out onto the street like a drunken cliche]

Teddy: [laugh because you love it and she raided the jewellery so she’s probably still ringed up too thanks to your mother’s stash and you can have a matching cut which you touch before following her like an even bigger cliche, literally pull her back like stop, because there’s nobody from this party on the street when they’re allowed to smoke and do whatever else they want inside, and you can, not that you’d care in this moment if there were]

Nancy: [not you running off with god knows how much worth of his mother’s things lol, I don’t even know what you’ll be wearing at this point because you wouldn’t have had anything but your underwear on in the sauna then hot tub but presumably you’ve found something to put on since then to be breaking out onto this street in but who can say, the way you’d be gagged if you saw him not follow his girlfriend earlier haha but I suppose y’all can pretend it’s about the jewellery and stick to that, TURNING back with your hand raised like you’re going to go for a second round but you’re distracted by the fact he’s got a cut too, taking a step towards him]

Teddy: [either she’s in white lingerie which is potentially wet and thus see through or she’s in that and his mother’s stolen fur coat so add that to the millions she’s running away with lol, either way, both iconic, GRABBING her wrist like you would if you were stopping her from slapping you a 2nd time even though she has not, squeezing it hard enough to hurt as you pull her closer towards you]

Nancy: [it’s giving escort truly, not that you’re giving it another thought, or a thought to begin with, here opening your mouth but stopping yourself from making a noise, jutting your chin out and closing what’s left of the gap between y’all ‘I am NOT a baby’ because so offended you would say that in front of people, scratching your nails on the cheek that’s already red and scratched from the rings, just to prove a point]

Teddy: [‘yes you are’ because we ALL remember when he said she’s not my baby, you are, and he’s saying it again now, no fucks given, pushing her into the nearest wall with his body like a cliche, we can pretend it’s because there’s a less obvious view if anyone from this party is peeping but he hasn’t given an actual thought to that he just wanted to do it] 

Nancy: [letting out a pant when your body makes contact with the bricks, pushing back into his body with intention, doing a little groan, blinking up at him, pausing for half a second, ‘fine, you can have your gifts’ reaching to open your bag and find them out]

Teddy: [not you taking this bag and dropping it your feet in the BIGGEST in a minute gesture of all time because you don’t even want those gifts rn, we ALL know what he actually wants, not at all caring if the entire contents of said bag falls all over the street, only caring that he’s pushing her into the wall even harder and is again licking her face where her cut is but so much more dramatically than he did earlier, highkey mouthing at it and basically biting her face like he did when they were doing their OG feral antics ‘let me have you’]

Nancy: [not even looking down even though it’s your bag and your things, can only launch yourself at him face first, copying what he’s doing on you as perfectly as you can when you’re not thinking at all and just being guided by what you want, pulling him into you repeatedly, crashing his hips against yours to punctuate the ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ sounding equal parts angry and like you never want to stop]

Teddy: [me like I hope she does also have that fur coat on because he is RIPPING that lingerie in a way that she simply could not then walk away and not get arrested for indecent exposure, tearing the entire crotch out and then at his clothes to be fucking her against this wall as ferally as anyone has ever ‘you’re going to love me’ likewise punctuated by these antics and sounding as insistent]

Nancy: [we’ll be kind and say you do because it’s also a mood so have it lads, likewise a mood he’s ruined your lingerie and you’re making that clear with how willingly you’re exposing yourself, not really knowing if the fur coat/his body means that he’s definitely the only one who can see because right now you do not care at all, doing the most to make sure he’s fucking you as deeply as is physically possible for both your sake’s, moaning his name with the same kind of exposed energy]

Teddy: [me like I’m glad for her ridiculous wig because it will cushion her head from these bricks when he is literally slamming her against them with how hard he’s going at this rn, at least until this boy PULLS it off with how he’s kissing her and we’re likewise letting that disappear with no thought at all as if it wasn’t a very expensive rental, IMMEDIATELY all up in her real hair because he’s missed it so much]

Nancy: [my boo says until it ain’t, unlucky bitch, lord knows you didn’t stop him choking you out, you aren’t gonna stop from risk of concussion here and now, being so frenzied about all of this, including asking ‘how does my pussy feel this time?’ because REMEMBERING the first hookup when]

Teddy: [every time he tries to give her an actual answer just MOANING because that good, is he embarrassed about the fact he cannot speak, no, is he even redder than her in that hot tub rn from how feral this all is, yes]

Nancy: [kissing him like you intend to deprive him of all oxygen and only leave room for your tongue in his mouth, holding his red face in your hands and SQUEEZING his cheeks tighter and tighter ‘you’ve made it yours’ as something you’re breathing into him, forehead pushing against his so your head is being rattled off this wall yet again when he invariably pushes you back]

Teddy: [LOVES to see his blood running down her hand from the way she’s squeezed his cheeks and made that tiny cut worse, can only let that be known by the insane EYE CONTACT he’s giving as his gaze goes from her hand to her eyes, panting ‘you give the best gifts’ because this is the real one rn regardless of whatever she has also got for his bday]

Nancy: [making a handprint right across your heart that is making your whole chest bang visibly, immediately attempting to get enough blood to do the same to him because you gotta ‘only the best for my boy’ casual words but there is nothing casual about how they’re being said in the slightest, planting your hand firmly on his chest to the point you’re pushing him a little too far away and you have to whimper like no]

Teddy: [catch him coming back SO dramatically that it was as if that push lasted a thousand years and sent him half way across the street, thrusting into her so hard that they can both hear her head hit the wall and it’s such a sickening kind of knock that he should be worried and not into it but we know it’s the latter, cradling her head then and kissing it so dramatically, literally combing through her hair with his fingers to see if she’s bleeding but has he stopped any of these feral antics, no]

Nancy: [when it’s hard to tell if you’re moaning or crying because the answer is both, at the same time and at an indecently loud level on both counts, shaking with the shock of how it felt and clutching at him ‘make it feel better’ repeated over and over with sincerity and undeniable !!]

Teddy: [doing the absolute MOST to make her forget all about it because at the point he couldn’t even stop if he wanted to, which he does not, could not be holding her tighter to stop her from shaking, wrapping this fur coat around her as much as he possibly can without it interfering with the absolutely unhinged rhythm they are in, continuing to kiss her head and face absolutely everywhere indiscriminately and absolutely indecently]

Nancy: [‘you’ll be such a good daddy to your babies’ snuggling your face into the softness of this coat and looking up at him as if there’s anything coy about this entire display]

Teddy: [‘hers aren’t mine’ just letting her know that she’s his only baby, soz not soz Chlo, imagine if this scheme actually went ahead, things would be wild in these streets]

Nancy: [thank the lord she runs and finds her mans because the drama no one but y’all needs truly, ‘I am’ smiling at him so pleased with ourself and with you in this moment]

Teddy: [doing the kind of unhinged close proximity nod that means his entire face is rubbing against hers because the heart eyes are FULL force and we need to break them up slightly]

Nancy: [just nuzzling each other like cats, nbd ‘I need cum’ like I need to cum and I need you to cum because feels ridiculous that you have not at this point]

Teddy: [‘you need to’ ordering her to like he’s such a gentleman he couldn’t possibly go first, he wouldn’t dream of it, when we all know he doesn’t usually give a shit about these things]

Nancy: [‘touch me like you do’ throwing out your own demand because you can and you know that’s about all it will take]

Teddy: [ofc he is ‘cum for me, please’ throwing a please out exactly like she did earlier when they both refused to before, we love to see it, no plea just as if he’s being polite with his demand in contrast to his utterly feral actions]

Nancy: [when you’ve slammed yourself onto him as roughly as you can, holding him still by his hips and not letting him pull out an inch whilst you spasm around him, maintaining eye contact until you physically cannot to kill you even more because you can’t handle it]

Teddy: [he won’t be able to handle it either so he’ll be following right after her and basically collapsing against this wall which will crush her to it with his dead weight for a second because DEAD, it’s only when he literally kicks her bag as he’s getting himself up that he even remembers these presents he so wanted even exist, looking but he cannot bend down to pick them up yet cos SO out of breath, I hope she didn’t get him anything fragile]

Nancy: [use the wall to keep you upright kids, it’s a must with how gone you both are, looking too and doing a small smirk ‘I promised you could have them now’ like don’t worry, I won’t take them away before you can, then looking down at yourself to assess the actual indecent mess you are out on the street like this, doing a sharp intake of breath like well damn]

Teddy: [instead first finding her cigarettes and lighter and going through that whole rigmarole of lighting up, like a cliche and his own version of well damn, when you’re literally shaking because of how dramatically you just came, this cigarette literally bobbing about between his lips as he takes the first drag of it before passing it to her, only then finally finding and opening these presents (so you’ll have to tell me what they are hehe), the absolute carnage of unwrapping them because he’s still shaky and also always chaotic so he’d be tearing into them anyway as hardcore as that lingerie lbr]

Nancy: [my boo demands to know her damn self lmao, okay, so obviously you are limited to bag size because are we trying to carry around a damn sack this whole party, nay nay, so we know the drugs are in there that you wanted, then I’m thinking a spenny bracelet because he clearly does not have as many/any because my boo doesn’t mention then and it’s giving possessive it’s giving handcuffs etc like it could look like literal handcuffs idk and that’s the main thing you’ve actually put thought into and then as for the other you’re being peak unhinged and giving him your underwear from the first time you messed around but did not hook up which is a whole month ago at this point, you being self-assured he’s gonna remember for me]

Teddy: [we been knew that I’ve been nosy every day of my life and you haven’t disappointed me boo, ask me why this boy never wears bracelets, I couldn’t tell you, the only time I remember him doing it is when he did an ad, so I LOVE this gift and the intimacy of you making her put it on you, it’s giving when he put his arms out and demanded this gifts in the first place except not at all, oh girls of course he remembers, grinning at her and then looking down at her like ‘I’ll be nice and let you borrow them, if you’re coming back inside’ because she’s so close to the baze gaff she could walk home easily instead but we’re making it clear we don’t want her to leave until the bitter end of this party, stealing the cig back and taking another drag because these gifts are really something and he doesn’t know what to say]

Nancy: [you aren’t good at things like this either and would’ve been debating the inclusion of the bracelet the entire time, hence it was not put on the table, your other valid reasons aside, so we’re fine with just focusing on what’s easy to in this moment ie the state of you and how we ended up here, rolling our eyes affectionately like oh please ‘you mean you want me to’ because chance to add more memories to the garment/gift, sliding out of the ones you are barely wearing because they are fucked and holding out your hand like okay]

Teddy: [you’ll see him wearing this bracelet every day now for the rest of his life so it’s FINE you’ll know he likes it, but in the here and now ‘I’m torn, actually, much like these’ as he reaches to touch them/pick them up from the cold hard ground instead of handing the new ones over because adding to the mems is tempting but so is knowing she’s even more naked at this function and why, getting distracted when his wrist catches the light whether that’s street, moon or security, and LOOKING at this bracelet with heart eyes, THINKING about the gesture of her giving him this because he gave her his mum’s necklace so they’ve exchanged jewellery now that’s so romantic] 

Nancy: [it's very romantic and neither of you is acknowledging it verbally but we all know it, trying not to THINK about it too much for all the reasons but you can’t stop yourself from it when he’s stood in front of you being so blatant and about it, distracting yourself however futilely by shakily doing up this coat if it has fastenings/holding it around yourself properly so you don’t flash everyone immediately because you’re game obviously ‘I’ll go first’ because hardly safe for you to stay out here in this state/at any time in comparison to him, lingering though and not just walking to and in the front door]

Teddy: [pulling her back, even though she hasn’t left yet, much like how he did when they first got out here but gentler, pulling her into him and fully picking her up as if he’s gonna carry her inside, no fucks given in that moment to her flashing anyone ‘don’t leave yet’ because he simply doesn’t want her to]

Nancy: [letting yourself be pulled back, into him and picked up without any hesitation because you don’t want to leave him either, cuddling around his neck and kissing his face better ‘yours needs cleaning too, remember’ like it’s very important but you just want your TCP revenge]

Teddy: [making a face like he’s HORRIFIED at the prospect lol because shan’t be brave either thank you ‘it’ll hurt’ hiding against her and this giant coat like no no but then remembering her head and lifting his back up ‘oh, speaking of, how many fingers am I holding up’ obvs doing however many he touched her with when she asked him to]

Nancy: [laughing ‘I couldn’t do that before’ because whether we’re talking about being intoxicated or dyslexic both are true and we can’t be bothered to care about this potentially dangerous injury, the kind of life we’re living ‘though the fact you’re trying to murder me hasn’t gone unnoticed’ licking these fingers playfully as you make EYE CONTACT like I’m watching you]

Teddy: [doing his own laugh at both these things because she does amuse him, kissing the top of her head like she’s a little girl like oh you, maintaining this EYE CONTACT as he finds the drugs she gave him and gives her her share, I think they were pills (?), so do it with a kiss ‘there, there, take your medicine’ like that’ll make her feel better instead of potentially worse if she did have a head injury]

Nancy: [yep they are pills so get to popping and pull him back in for a makeout because there’s always time before they kick in and you just have to ‘could go visit Chlo’ like lol imagine]

Teddy: [‘you, me or us as a we, together’ because all of those possibilities are hilarious tbh, each word in between a kiss just because he can and will ‘when will you talk to her?’ as a more genuine question though which isn’t punctuated by smooches, love that he hasn’t put her down and is still very much holding her]

Nancy: [‘you said I wanted to see her’ pushing his shoulder away so you’re LOOKING at each other because thanks for that one but also he did so it’s a valid excuse, shrugging a shoulder ‘I could go right now, cry about it all with her’]

Teddy: [‘Because I wanted to get her here’ as if Chlo is so obsessed with Nancy that it’s all it would take cos lowkey where’s the lie you wanna be her so bad sis ‘and you’ll have come up by the time you get there’ like you won’t be in the mood to cry y’all will be buzzing when this hits but he’s holding her tighter like excuse you stop trying to leave me]

Nancy: [when you’d already forgotten about taking that and you’re like whoops ‘okay, okay, not right now’ snuggling your head into the side of his neck like I’m not leaving ‘I just want to help you’]

Teddy: [stroking her hair v softly, we can pretend it was tickling him and he’s just moving it but no ‘I’ll need ALL your help to breed with her’ when you keep saying it because so true ‘who did you fuck?’ because even if he’s heard he wants to hear it from her, said so casually and conversationally with no accusation or jealousy or anything, you wouldn’t even know they’d argued about it]

Nancy: [at least we’re receptive to it now we’re not mad at you ‘she won’t mind that I’m there’ said so confidently, which, in theory, if she’s fucking him to get pregnant, she can hardly tell the world you are lol so go off lads ‘maybe we can go together’ actually considering this even though you should not, until he asks his question and you’re hopping down because even if he’s asking nicely you’re still like ugh ‘why?’]

Teddy: [‘she would, however, try and talk you into a pregnancy pact’ we see you putting the idea out there and into this girl’s head of her also being pregnant with your child while shading Chlo, picking her back up again purely to be petty because you only want to put her down when you want to, giving her a lil shake but playfully ‘I’m curious’ again very Alice and very catlike, we love to see it]

Nancy: [my boo says I see you, boy, don’t think I don’t lol, still at this point in time we will merely laugh like oh God imagine because no desire to be a mother and stop doing what we want when we want all the time, blowing out a sigh when he picks you up but it’s half-affectionate, messing up his hair like oh you ‘you want to know if you’ve slept with them too, I know’ because he is that boy and has been so we aren’t surprised nor offended, hence name these two guys you got in the middle of, lack of a better term]

Teddy: [‘& predictably I have’ because why not say he did, he lowkey has slutted around everyone at this party ‘how was it for you?’ giving nothing away about how it was for him, only fishing because jemily know that their hook ups were unfulfilling so obvs he can’t help thinking about how his was, especially now that he has that insane hookup of tancy’s to compare it with] 

Nancy: [doing a fake yawn because yes, so predictable, then raising your brows like oops, that wasn’t my review but shrugging because yeah, actually, stand by it ‘enough to keep me busy but nothing to go back for’]

Teddy: [a nod because same ‘it’s a good thing he’s pretty’ not you deliberately using the exact same words she did @ you for the boy you hooked up with like yeah he’s beautiful but otherwise giving nothing]

Nancy: [‘that’s always described the guest list’ because nothing changes and you end up finding everyone disappointing and boring in the end, patting his shoulder sympathetically ‘I’m dating someone’s dad next’]

Teddy: [‘truly’ because he couldn’t agree more, he’s only just today turned 16 and he’s already so bored by everyone ‘I’m dating Seb, I promised Gia’ because you said you were gonna snatch him]

Nancy: [looking at him like that’s a new one ‘kinda mean to save her from her loveless marriage but trap your brother in his’ like pick a lane lol]

Teddy: [getting your phone out and giving her that convo to read just for fun, with no thought or fucks given to if he said anything that he might not want Nancy to read]

Nancy: [I just skimmed and it’s mostly family drama/Teddy being a very unbelievable victim lol, the only bit that isn’t going to be like well let’s not discuss that is him saying his girlfriend would marry him, hence showing him that bit like oh, is THAT the plan now lmao]

Teddy: [it’s him genuinely and without being a bitch, being like ‘oh sorry, should I read it to you?’ as she’s reading because dyslexic and he doesn’t know if she can, for me, but when she gets to that bit and shows him, shrugging ‘I said she would & she would, if I asked’ because genuinely believes he could make this girl do anything and tbh where’s the lie so far]

Nancy: [‘how do you think we message? I’m not illiterate, arsehole’ because however much of a dick he’s not being it still pisses us off, scoffing ‘why’d you think your sister would care?’ like that’s the bit we’re questioning here]

Teddy: [‘perhaps you require different phone settings on yours or something, I don’t know, do I?’ because valid ‘she was calling me unweddable, I refuted it, that’s all’] 

Nancy: [get down again because bad vibes ‘you’re bringing me down when we’re meant to be going up, come on’ like we need to go find music because these drugs will be wasted if we start arguing instead]

Teddy: [let her this time even if you’re making an OTT noise like ugh FINE because offended she’s claiming you’re bringing bad vibes when you were trying to be supportive about her horrific disability for once ‘you go first’ an echo of what she said]

Nancy: [when reading all that has made you feel a type of way and you shouldn’t have but you’re nosey and we related, you simply had to, turning and not looking back as you wave behind you ‘safe travels’]

Teddy: [scoff at her and call ‘what’s that, irish folklore?’ at her as she walks away because any excuse to drag her poor roots always]

Nancy: It means find someone else to dance with, okay

Teddy: I wasn’t going to ask you, you don’t wish to be seen with me unless you’re slapping my face

Nancy: I’ve danced with you before

Teddy: & on that occasion your boyfriend hit me

Nancy: because you asked him to

Teddy: It wasn’t my fault

Nancy: Fine, blame me, just forget it

Teddy: I’ll do my best to forget your rejection

Nancy: Teddy, don’t

Teddy: Always a pleasure, Nancy

Nancy: You just sounded like such a child and it reminded me that you are

Nancy: I’m not rejecting you I’m just backing off

Teddy: They’re both the same thing

Nancy: I mean you haven’t done anything to be rejected

Teddy: The end result doesn���t change, darling, let’s not kid ourselves

Teddy: oops, that word must be triggering for you

Nancy: I hope you can make the best of your high

Teddy: How grown up of you, thanks

Nancy: I’m serious, a bad time on this shit is hellish and I feel it starting

Teddy: Well, if I need a babysitter I won’t ask you either

Nancy: I’m sorry, don’t come in [whatever bathroom you are hiding in because you feel like shit]

Teddy: Of course now I’m going to

Teddy: [come and find her because even though she upset you, you really do care, pick her up off this bathroom floor or whatever and cradle her like she’s a child]

Nancy: [me like thank god you were evidently blocking the door so there aren’t other people in here because you are just opening the floodgates like you’ve been given truth serum in a totally unfiltered way, telling him why you’re a bad person for all of this but also all the other reasons you’re a bad person, just an absolute laundry list]

Teddy: [love that you would’ve had to bust in this door dramatically because she was blocking it, don’t hurt her again please, just shhing her and stroking her back and hair and everywhere else you think might be comforting like she’s a baby or a pet, doing little kisses and calling her darling over and over in the softest voice you have ever used as you tell her it’s okay and literally everything you like about her in the same kind of word vomit that you aren’t even thinking about filtering you just want her to feel better]

Nancy: [and thank god you’re both on it and these things never last long, so when it’s all over you can just pretend it never happened lol lol lol, moving onto telling him why you’re sorry in what would be in other circumstances hilarious detail, like I’m sorry for when I and listing every unhinged thing y’all have done thus far like girl, shh]

Teddy: [‘baby, you just hit your head’ like that’s the only reason this is occurring and none of it is either of their faults because that’s the narrative we’re going with and nobody can stop us]

Nancy: [‘punishment’ so seriously, biting your lip a little too hard how people be on the drugs, as if God himself smacked your head into that wall for fucking this boy]

Teddy: [‘you’re a good girl’ as seriously like no I will accept no alternatives at this time, SO gently pulling her lip from out of her teeth with his own and kissing it better like his life depends on it]

Nancy: [kissing him back softly like you’re unsure but you’re doing a happy sigh, vibrating it against his lips and giggling about the sensation ‘it feels so-’ shaking your head dreamily as you’re STARING at his face with your big saucer eyes and trying to think of the word]

Teddy: [‘good too, I know’ because you’re in no state yourself to think of another or better word, holding her face gently in both his hands]

Nancy: [nodding, carrying it on just that shade too long like calm down ‘good, are we good?’ tracing the word on his forehead and his chin and then each cheek, booping his nose like a full stop]

Teddy: [regardless of whether or not being ticklish was a lie, he’s laughing in this moment, likewise a bit too much, lying down on this bathroom floor fully and pulling her into him like they’re a couple in a bed lying side by side] 

Nancy: [‘this is nice’ when this would sound so sarcastic if you weren’t high but you are so it isn’t, snuggling him like there we go, moment complete ‘it’s your birthday now, isn’t it’ because remembering somewhere in the back of your mind that he wanted to take these pills the time he was actually born, humming happy birthday into the skin on his bicep you’re lying on]

Teddy: [‘what time is it?’ dreamily because you have no idea not as a genuine question you’re expecting her to answer but for all you know your bday is over ‘happy birthday to me’ regardless, as something which would likewise sound and be said sarcastically if they weren’t high]

Nancy: [saying the date like that is your birthday, because lord knows you can’t find out the time right now, even though all either of you would have to do is look at your phone, it isn’t gonna register ‘you said I get the best gifts’ beaming here like that was so nice of you]

Teddy: [waving this bracelet around in front of his eyes in that high mesmerised by it manner because he was when he was sober tbh, he loves it ‘this is really’ whether you’re saying it like you mean it’s the best or you just can’t think of a word, irrelevant]

Nancy: [watching it too and going to paw at it, like babies do with their baby gyms or cats with their toys, doing another happy sigh ‘you’re really’ like y’all are speaking in full sentences and you know EXACTLY what he meant ‘cos on the same wavelength]

Teddy: [‘I love everything’ because he do, her, this gift, the moment, all of it, no notes]

Nancy: [‘happy for you, happy for me’ because you really and truly cared about making his birthday better and in general making him happier when you know he ain’t and no one else cares but all of that is too much for you to be able to verbalise in this state so stick with that and give him another really gentle kiss]

Teddy: [have a clumsy but soft makeout sesh about it for a while because what are words when you feel so many things]

Nancy: [when I know you’re probably saying you love him which is risky business because when will this wear off and will you remember, will you pretend you don’t even if you do, lord knows you can’t be held responsible but I’m still like omg]

Teddy: [it’s fine he’d say it back as an ILY too so you’re both equally guilty here, god bless]

Nancy: [winnie says guilty as sin x but at least people will be banging this door to get in as it’s a bathroom and that can be a trigger to bring you down, scowling at the door like excuse me, how very rude as you’re struggling to sit up]

Teddy: [obvs doing his usual and telling these people to go away because it’s his house he can, sounding like you do when you get woken up and are cross about it, literally pulling SUCH a pouty face as if these peeps can see it and will be like oh soz]

Nancy: [y’all are cracking me up, people wanna piss/have bathroom sex/do their own drugs and you’re like wow, whilst we slumber? Shocking behavior, literally shouting ‘no housekeeping’ because you live in a hotel and are clearly a rude bitch lmao]

Teddy: [absolutely iconic from her ‘do slide your drugs under the door though’ as if they will just because it’s your birthday haha]

Nancy: [when no door drugs appear scrunching up your nose like how unforgivable ‘you got a bump or two?’ stretching because you feel as though that might adequately wake you, as if you have been asleep here and not in love]

Teddy: [literally shouting ‘it’s my birthday’ at the door like the audacity to be so rude and unfeeling randoms, you bastards, but then emptying his pockets to frankly hilarious effect when still none appear because god knows what he has in there at this point in the night or how many pockets this outfit even has]

Nancy: [trawling through the things that do appear like what the hell bestie, some of which would be your underwear because gotta still have that somewhere, smirking like he’s some pervert who just stole them and you didn’t give them to him for perverted purposes, tutting at the lack of coke however]

Teddy: [me knowing that he also has the ripped af ones and didn’t just leave them where she did because he’s sentimental like that ‘where’s YOUR bag?’ because for all he knows she literally also left that on the street because he did not care and wasn’t paying attention but the point is where is YOUR coke why am I expected to provide]

Nancy: [when you’ve definitely left it on the street in front of his house because you’re a chaotic slag, at least this gives you the excuse to run out and past these hoes sharpish because need to see if it’s still there lol]

Teddy: [calling after her ‘I’ll buy you new [whatever he remembers being in her bag when he went through it for her cigarettes and his presents respectively]’ fully like leave it and forget it, it’s gone forever bye because he’s so chaotic and wasteful and values nothing, giving why are you running]

Nancy: [inaudibly shouting that it has your blank in it because either acting like this is sentimental or it genuinely is, either way, run and see it’s definitely not there babes]

Teddy: Well?

Nancy: Thank fuck I put my phone in my bra

Teddy: What have you lost? Besides [and the list of what he can remember]

Nancy: Alright, smartypants

Nancy: I didn’t have my cards, or any cash, but they discontinued that shade of lipstick

Teddy: Who? I’ll ask them to make more of it for you

Nancy: You’ll ask [whatever boujee makeup brand this is] to make more, just for me

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: You do make me laugh

Teddy: I’m not joking, I’m emailing them now

Nancy: Are you still high?

Nancy: Let me read it before you send it

Teddy: Hardly high enough to agree to a dyslexic proofreader

Teddy: & no, I want to talk about you

Nancy: Back to your charming self, darling

Teddy: You loathe receiving my compliments

Teddy: [but literally sending her double the amount of money he’s calculated her missing things to be worth so she can rebuy even better versions]

Nancy: No I don’t

Nancy: it’s your birthday

Teddy: Shh, I’m talking to the people who are going to make you a personalised lipstick, if I don’t concentrate it’ll be all wrong

Nancy: but 🥺

Teddy: But 0

Nancy: 🤐  

Teddy: [a pause while he sends the longest emails back and forth just gushing about this girl and genuinely arranging for her to have her own lipstick tailored to all the things he has said because if you have enough money you can do anything]

Teddy: Okay, what was it you wanted to say to me?

Nancy: I missed you

Teddy: What are you doing?

Nancy: Talking to Chlo about James and Ava for you

Teddy: I’m shocked she’s awake, perhaps she’s who we should be asking for our bumps

Nancy: I’m shocked she still has her septum, yeah

Nancy: she’s clearly stewing over what you proposed

Teddy: She’s all too aware she’d dream about me

Nancy: I’ll let you be a bighead

Teddy: Because you’re proud of yourself

Teddy: I’m proud of you too

Nancy: please

Teddy: You know I’m in awe of the things you can make people do

Nancy: Says you, look at this party

Nancy: everyone adores you

Teddy: Birthdays & cash don’t count, they work for everyone

Nancy: So do good looks, so does everything

Teddy: Absolutely, you’re more than your incredible looks though

Nancy: We’re talking about you

Teddy: I’m not

Nancy: I wish I could talk about you 

Teddy: Chlo is famously out of the loop & won’t be none the wiser who [nancy’s bf] is, I’ll be your boyfriend

Nancy: No you won’t

Teddy: You don’t wish you could talk about me then, you liar

Nancy: Talk about you, not an imaginary boyfriend

Teddy: I’d detest giving him credit too, obviously

Nancy: I’m going to get a new one, this isn’t working out

Teddy: [the one gay she got in the middle of] or [the other lol]?

Nancy: A throuple, obviously 🙄

Teddy: They are that co-dependent, true 

Nancy: I don’t need to be in the emotional middle of all that, imagine

Nancy: suppose you’re sticking with the bride

Teddy: You’re much too fond of slurs, for a start

Nancy: If they’re gay they faked it convincingly enough

Teddy: Of course they did, you’re Chlo’s opposite, she flips men one way, you the other

Nancy: Ha, is that what happened

Teddy: Clearly

Nancy: You’ve never been gay, contrary to what you sister might think

Teddy: Why on earth are you being SO uncharacteristically nice to me?

Nancy: You just gave me lots of money, why else

Teddy: I’m not about to take it back

Nancy: Fine, fuck you

Teddy: Third time is supposedly the charm

Nancy: You wish, baby

Nancy: I’m super busy

Teddy: Fine, I’ll occupy myself with finding you a new boyfriend

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: It won’t prove very difficult

Nancy: Are you insulting my standards, all the way down there with yours

Teddy: I was singing your praises, as always

Nancy: Why are YOU being so nice

Teddy: As written above, when am I not?

Nancy: We’re having an amnesty for your birthday, no list today

Teddy: I’ll ask again in [however long until it’s no longer his bday which clearly as far as he’s concerned is when this party ends, which we’re estimating as the time his dad wants him in work], noted

Nancy: You’ll find a distraction before then

Teddy: Undeniably, there’s plenty of money remaining to give to the poker table

Nancy: How much are you down tonight?

Teddy: I’m hurt at your presumption I’m not on a winning streak

Nancy: I know you

Teddy: [tell her how much you are down as if it’s nothing when it’s actually so much]

Nancy: Jesus, you need to go find some more drugs or someone to suck your dick again instead

Teddy: You sound like my sister, money is there to be spent

Nancy: Yeah, in exchange for goods and/or services, darling

Nancy: why do you like losing so much?

Teddy: It’s an act of charity, you aren’t complaining when I’m losing the family fortune to your needs

Nancy: You’re all heart

Teddy: Or perhaps I’m just childish

Nancy: Why not both, dream big

Teddy: It’s your nightmare, not mine

Nancy: What are you talking about?

Teddy: YOU talked about how I’m such a child

Nancy: Hours ago, why are you getting upset about that now

Teddy: I’m not upset

Nancy: You seem it

Teddy: Maybe you can’t read people either

Nancy: You’re thinking about your sister again, you shouldn’t have let me read it if it was going to put you in a mood

Teddy: You’re the one who spiralled, I’m in a fantastic mood

Nancy: I’m very glad

Teddy: [suggest a potential bf, whether you’re being serious or shady who can ever say lol]

Nancy: 💭

Teddy: Yes, I know, my mind

Nancy: No, I mean I’m debating what you’re possibly trying to say with that candidate 

Teddy: Take your time, darling, you evidently find me quite the puzzle

Nancy: Why do you want to pick?

Teddy: You’re busy, I’m not, it isn’t THAT deep, truly

Nancy: Alright, whatever you say

Teddy: If you refuse to take me at my word, what I say is utterly irrelevant

Nancy: I don’t refuse that

Teddy: & yet, I can feel your scepticism through the phone

Nancy: well I did say I wanted an older man and I’m the oldest person at this party so

Teddy: Well, [someone we’re shading] acts ancient, I don’t understand why they even bothered to come 🥱

Teddy: Is [someone who isn’t at the party and we genuinely think she would get with] a more suitable prospect?

Nancy: Their parents are divorcing, home atmosphere is icy, what I’ve heard

Nancy: but perhaps, yes

Teddy: Incredible, theirs can be my new mummy given mine is far too busy

Nancy: Be fair

Nancy: her face isn’t going to keep itself

Teddy: Her face was fine, the issues are psychological 

Nancy: You’re not [however old his mum is/we think she is because you don’t know exactly of course]

Teddy: Neither is she, guess again, except don’t because this is a tedious game

Nancy: Whatever, you’ll care when your hairline recedes, that’s my point

Teddy: I care that it’s my birthday, not that she makes it about her lost youth

Nancy: She’s upset about YOU

Teddy: That crisis will be poised for my leaving home

Nancy: It’ll be revisited, at every milestone, of course

Teddy: Quite

Nancy: But you won’t move out for ages, you have it too good

Teddy: Only for the renovations, not that there will be anywhere near enough, the guests are slacking

Nancy: A second act is required

Teddy: I have to do EVERYTHING myself, it seems

Teddy: give my love to my sister-in-law, the people need their king

Nancy: Good luck

Nancy: I’ve avoided mentioning you thus far

Teddy: Well done 👏

Nancy: You act as if I’m obsessed

Teddy: Aren’t you?

Nancy: Only in the one way

Nancy: don’t worry

Teddy: I didn’t dress you as my bride

Nancy: I know

Nancy: I saw the posts before she deleted them

Teddy: Screenshots live forever

Nancy: A LOT of people were filming once she arrived, the shame isn’t going anywhere

Teddy: As it shouldn’t

Nancy: I don’t think you like me, not like that

Teddy: I wouldn’t enjoy humiliating you, no

Teddy: except in your previously mentioned one way

Nancy: That goes without saying

Teddy: Nevertheless, I’ve said it

Nancy: I knew you were angry with me

Nancy: thinking about all the ways you could take it out on me

Teddy: I was & I did, it’s my parents turn right now

Nancy: Okay, see you on the other side, maybe

Teddy: [go and cause some more absolute carnage hun, soz to his parents]

Nancy: [I don’t feel hugely sorry for you but we know a lot of damage in property and cash is being done here on this day, they’re gonna be livid lol, eventually when you’ve laid enough groundwork with Chlo, you can come in and join in with whatever is going down in this gaff]

Teddy: [and I deffo don’t feel sorry for Chlo haha, we love to see the teamwork though because clearly too many people at this party are too out of it by this point and don’t have the stamina]

Nancy: [like they are correct but also they are completely stirring so you know lol, y’all are having a lovely time just getting to ruin everything here and now]

Teddy: [even a broken clock as they say, hence I’m letting you have java even if nobody believes you rn lol, if this was a film what a montage that would be, the peak romance of y’all causing and standing amongst actual wreckage, go and properly sort the dad blackmail/humiliation of it all as well because you took the pictures but then got distracted]

[jen75hard]

2/75

I ventured out today! I had therapy so I went to a cafe in town over chancing a spare room at uni. I still feel a bit like an alien when I’m in public places, having spent so much time alone over the past month, but I’m at least going in the right direction!

I had poached eggs on toast at lunch - possibly the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. I’m well and truly in my egg era (big omelette girl at the mo) and seeded bread just hits different. This evening I googled “four eggs a day too many” but it looks like I wouldn’t overdose! Trying to imagine a world where I eat two poached eggs on toast for breakfast and a chicken and cheese omelette for lunch. I really don’t think I’d get sick of it. I LOVE eggs. And the more protein the fuller I’ll be. Workshopping a low(er) calorie bread/toast alternative, still not sure.

I didn’t drink as much water earlier in the day as I’d liked so I had to drink 80oz between 5 and eod. Doable, yes, but I didn’t get to have a treat Pepsi max this evening. I’m still so surprised I’m managing the water thing so far, I don’t know how I’m not sick of it yet. I am sick of going to the toilet so much though, that’s annoying.

Exercise was the same as yesterday, walk and yoga. Will likely be the same tomorrow but flipped: I’ll do the yoga in the morning because I’ll be in town for work in the evening so I can get my walk in later in the day. I’ve been thinking of finding classes using ClassPass but I’m not sure I’ve got the confidence to exercise in front of other people all doing the same thing: at the gym you’re a lot more disconnected from the world around you and this feels a lot more high school PE. In a few weeks when my staminas up I’ll reconsider.

In general self care unrelated to 75 Hard, I’m going HARD with skincare at the moment. And I went to Holland and Barrett today (wellness queen) and got some bits: cod liver oil gummies, collagen powder, something else healthy. And went to Superdrug for some moisturiser. AND primark for a headband I can wear while washing my face so my fringe doesn’t get wet! Honestly, I’m unstoppable at the moment. I’m hoping the supplements do something but even if they don’t I know I’m putting a lot of work in with my food, water and exercise so that’ll take the brunt of it.

I’m at the doctors tomorrow for a checkup (funny that, you’re in hospital twice in the same week and they want to double check you’re alright! How sweet) so I’ll not weigh myself when I wake up, they’ll probably want to do it too. I’ll ask about weight loss if I get chance, see if they can help. Ozempic or something, that’d be great.

[smollobsession]

26.2.

I'm back!

the trip was amazing, weather, food, places, my friends <3 fandom things :) i got some new pcs, spent time with other stays :) it was lovely!

On the plane I watched lego batman which was Fine and i tried barbie which was Not Fine. i will never understand internet people and their recommendations and praise.

my plants survived :D and we've been having nice weather here so some of them are even blooming :D

i had a very good therapy session in which my therapist asked me if i really cared about being fat personally and i said no and we talked about how hard it is to be motivated by what other people think. very valid. i need to build a whole new mindset around this.

i met up with a new stay friend, F, for tea and her grandma's jams! :D and I stopped by E's place (she was out) to leave souvenirs and buy good fruit at her shop.

Next weekend Ig wants to meet up. I feel like, despite myself, I've made friends here :D

I now also follow the girl I met at the shop on insta! I'll dub her Ch :) she's very young but an active stay! :)

Continued my Korean lessons and a reminder to me again that i need to either get a korean comic to read or start watching some content without subs to practice more, if i'm not gonna work on the book now.

Back home I watched buddy daddies which was fun :D

i got mo dao zu shi 5 because the store had it :D (i already have #2, idk if i wrote it last time).

I LOVE Jeff's new album so much i've been listening to it on repeat! I also wanted to buy it but

it's not meant to be yet :D

I played for palkia and dialga this weekend - no shinys on my main but ofc ONE game i played on my secondary i got a shiny ... sigh :D I'll trade for it some day i guess :D

In sgp i got new season's greetings from my friend. it's so much fun idek why :D I hope i actually do use the diary this time :D i always start but then don't continue >< and worst part is since i write in it for a bit i can't even give it away later :D

Lino covered one of the few day6 songs i know and love! i'm happy about that heh :D

I think... that's all :)

(oh, ps, today is the deadline for israel to report to icj... let's see how THAT goes.)